The Yak - Sas Got Cut From Presenting at the Barstool Awards THE DAY OF | The Yak 8-23-23

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

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It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak. Yo, DJ, pull that up. One of my buddies used to smoke pipe tobacco in high school. Oh, we're up. We're up. Live.

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You felt it right away, though, right? I looked at the TV. I was like, oh, no. I knew, yeah. That's one of the things. I immediately said I should have sat in Kevin's seat. The very first thing I do is scan the room, and I'm like, do I look the worst? These are enormous couches.

Yeah, you can't put your arms down. It's like, what the fuck? I want Yak to be a standing show. Standing show. I would always be down for that. Preferably with a shower curtain in front of it. It rapidly turned into a standing show yesterday. Yeah, that's true.

I forgot that we were yakking today, and this is my train shirt. This is a comfy PJ shirt. Train shirt? I don't get fucked by two people. Do you get as nervous on trains as you do on planes? No, no. Trains are awesome. I realize train security is like a zero.

You wanted to bring a knife on it. Are you nervous that there's going to be a train event? That's under siege two. Yeah. No, one. You could literally bring one to submarine two. You could bring

an atom bomb on it. Yeah. They don't check. Do it. All right, so we're live from the House of Blues, Boston. We thought we'd have Kevin on. He just finished up

Barstool Radio so that way everyone can be like, oh, these guys don't hate each other. They can actually talk to each other. 20th anniversary. 20 years, man. man it's fucking crazy how are you feeling going into like i they don't in classic barstool fashion we're promoting something that i don't know if you have

the same experience i know zero of what's gonna happen tonight dude and i don't under the unless they were like let's like psychologically torture everyone and make the nervous energy go through the roof by nobody knows anything in which case i would tip my cap but it's like i just don't get why we i i asked uh who are the nominees for the award i'm presenting they said i'm not telling you yeah and then they reminded me today they're like reminder you're doing this award i said tell me who the nominees are or I'm not doing it. Did they tell you? No.

It just goes to me. They called you bluff. Yes, totally. You're going to do it. Absolutely. But like, you know, usually for award shows, you know the nominees like almost months in advance. Right. There's never an award show where you don't know the nominees.

Knowing the nominees is half the fun. Right. So then you get to, I want this person to win. You get to root for somebody. Oh, surprise. Now, to be fair, these also aren't, I i don't think it's like do you think there's going to be awards like best blogger or like best video i don't think insultable none will be a compliment you don't think any good i was presenting an award that was a compliment and it got cut yeah i don't

even know if i'm would i know if i'm not presenting anymore yeah you would know i here's how much i know because hank was loosely involved a while ago. He hasn't been for the last couple of weeks in this award show. Brandon, Hank, and I were driving up from New York last night, and he listed – I was like, am I nominated for anything? And Hank started listing it. And the only thing I'm nominated for is just Barstool Van Talks. So that's an insult to me.

Like, there's no – I mean, that's, it's like the only thing I can win is the lowest moment. You've done a lot of good. Yeah, Barstool Van Talk. I will say this because I already said it yesterday on radio. I am presenting biggest controversy. That's coincidence, man. And I think, and. And they're not...

Oh, and they're not telling you the nominees. No. That would be... If everybody else was not being... If you guys knew your nominees,

then I would absolutely be like, I know what the fuck's going on here. The fact that everyone's in the dark gives me like 1% hope that they're not gonna

do it to me, but I think they're gonna do it. They could do it to you. And when they do, by the way, I said, I'm gonna blow the place up. Yeah. Everybody run for cover when I'm up there.

I'll have a fucking bomb on my chest and I'll take you all down with me. Did you take the train up? Then I believe you. I heard that you're not even reading the nominees. You turn around and look at a video. I think it's like, and the nominees are. Here are the nominees. So I'm presenting, Bladman

texted me this morning saying, I'm presenting's like, and the nominees are. Here are the nominees. So I'm presenting, Bladman texted me this morning saying, I'm presenting for near-death experience. That actually sounds intriguing. I got told I was presenting. But that's probably going to be Big T, Devlin getting pushed by Brandon. Kirk every day. The Flutog. The Flutog.

On a train. Kirk also with trains. I think the Flutog might be a good one. That would be a good one. Because Nate almost fucking died on that. Yeah. There are, when you dig deep, there are some, you know, this is not near death, like Hank getting his finger chopped off by a fucking drone.

Yeah. There are injuries and all sorts of shit. Sass is heroin addiction. Jersey Jerry. Oh, my God. Yeah. Outside. Brandon's most violent. Yeah. Brandon's going to clean up. I, my God. Yeah. You've been outside. The most violent.

Yeah. Brandon's going to clean up. I feel like I'm not presenting, and I think I am. No, I don't think you are. I'm texting Blackman now. I heard you work. They've been telling me I am, but I haven't gotten anything in the last couple weeks. So there were old awards. Yeah, I don't know.

Dave dug in and was like, get rid of this. There was a whole plan of a show, and then Dave got involved and trapped it, which is going to be great. I was going to say, that makes me much more comfortable because I think sometimes we've gotten to a place where people are planning things that are not Barstool. Right. Where it would have been a real award show, and it's like, no, no, no. The whole thing is to be stupid and dramatic. Right. Dave, you're buying the pay-per-view tonight and please do buy 10 bucks 10 bucks we were setting misleading

that's a good yeah that's a good price right you're gonna see like text him twice what do you guys what are you guys talking he's making me text black man if he was presenting correct can you ask if i am answers i'm then say, how about Sass? But why don't just double down? I'm not going to give him two questions off the rib. Are you scared of Blackman? Why are you scared of Blackman? I don't know why you're so next to him.

But also, why? Let people prepare something or know what they're going to do. Oh, I'm no longer presenting. Okay. You're winning so many awards. I wrote a bunch of jokes. Worst advertiser. Well, what? Presenting. Okay. You're winning so many awards. I'm not. I wrote a bunch of jokes. You're going to be like fucking Jordan. Worst advertiser.

Well, what? Worst relationship with an advertiser? Worst advertiser. Well, I'm a great advertiser. Well, for certain things. Other companies, not so much. One mistake. Big one. You're not presenting anymore.

Okay, there you go. What? Oh, sass. Am I still presenting? Are you upset? Let's move to my next point. See, I would be thrilled if I were you. Well, no.

I did not want to present. I was up until like 3 a.m. last night writing jokes for it. You can... No, you weren't. I swear to God, I was. I was texting Nick at like 2 in the morning. Wait, give me your jokes. No.

Why not? I'm not giving up my jokes. We're live yet. What's up, Gaz? You piece of shit. Hey, what's up, Lisa? Hey, Gaz. What's up?

Gaz, why is no one telling me I'm not presenting? Gaz, you want to sit down for a minute? Drama-filled, powder keg, ready to burst. Wait, wait. Can I have your jokes? Yeah, that's cool. Why can't I have your jokes? Because they're funny as hell.

But that would be funny if I read your jokes for an award you weren't presenting. It's a different award. Can I get one or two? Can you split them up? Hell no. Come on, give it up. What are you going to do? You're never going to use these jokes.

Yeah, yeah. I'll use them at some point. When? Oh, at the other Barstool Awards? Yeah, the 40th anniversary. You're going to be on stage with a smitty joke in the middle of your stand-up set.

So, guys, just pretend for a minute you're at a blonde award show. Why would no one tell me that I'm not presented? Why is everything so lock and key? Yeah, I heard you. I was watching Barstool Radio. I don't know why.

I mean, we talked about it early on. Like, should we have some element of it being, like, when people get an award or they're nominated, they're able to oh shit like the camera cuts to them and you're like oh i didn't know that was that never happens that's a surprise of winning yeah or the moment like there's there was a lot of like different awards that we didn't want out of the back i think it's okay now i think it's okay now like it should be i think also if you're doing a lot of awards have changed from two days ago to now to this. There's a lot of this question. Hank said this on the ride up.

What the fuck? Maybe this goes to you. He said this to me and Brandon on the ride up. And he's like, there's a non-zero chance someone gets fired live on air. I'm like, he said it's not a it's not 80%. Who said that? No, I'm zero. I would say, yeah, I would like over under It's non-zero. I would say, yeah.

I would put like over under like a half a percent. I would take the over. I have all-time Milton anxiety since like the last two weeks. Okay, so this event, the side, like just everything. Everything. I said it feels. I've talked to Dave Moore the last two weeks. I've talked to him in three years.

When he used to leave for July vacation. Yes. Remember the day before he would always blow. You know, and I feel like that. Now, Feidelberg and Tommy were like i think it's gonna be fine i think it's gonna be fun and i was like i think you're both fucking stupid but maybe i'm they are yeah like i'm getting like swear text this morning too so he's like running hot already yeah so yeah no it's been a wild two weeks with him it's uh it's very much back getting text messages like 24 7 what you're saying is you're working again no it's just more he's crazy yeah it's like i gotta work no but nitpick he's like

why'd you post this on this account like that granular level in there let me ask you this that won't stay which is no i mean i i had a thought my my version of pete is you yeah when every time i ask somebody about anything like you gotta ask gas and i'm like what yeah but but i think it's because with you i think you actually will just like make a decision and do something like everybody passes the buck here until it gets to someone who's like well this isn't my forte or my job but i'm just gonna make the decision because we gotta get shit done i almost feel i don't know for pete i feel like that is more for you so while you while you're catching like a fucking verbal beat down from him i actually think it's because those are the people who are like well i'll just decide the price because no one fucking else is sure i think

the last like two years has been a lot of like dave's not going to answer right right so someone's going to do it so you take it and now a lot of the decisions that have been made whether it was pete or me or whatever they're coming to roost and dave's gonna be like you guys are fucking idiots but you know it's gonna be like three months of this and then i don't even know i i've asked him a few times because i'm like hey a lot of people are coming to me for questions and i'm like i go talk to dave i'm like you can't want that no you can't want you don't want to talk about that. I mean, even when I was signing up for the corporate side of things,

Gaz called me and was like, you don't. You're going to be miserable. Dave wants me to be posting on Twitter like I was in 2016, like sign me up for that. Because dealing with business sucks. What's up, Brandon? What do you got beef with Gaz for? I got beef with Gaz. I got beef with Blatman.

Why the hell would they tell me? Gaz is hot. They've been telling me for two months that I'm presenting, and then today they decide I'm not? What do you got beef with gas for? I got beef with gas. I got beef with Blatman. Sass is spiraling, bro. Sass is hot. They've been telling me for two months that I'm presenting, and then today they decide I'm not? Just present with me. This is good. I think that's still changing. You know what you should do? Kanye this shit and go in there and kick Brandon off and go, I'm going to let you finish.

I got the greatest host of all time, and he's Jewish. There's a behind-the-scenes thing going on right now with, like, someone who wants five minutes. And I'm like, do it. You've got to give him five minutes. I said, if you're not getting it, I said, if you're not getting it, just go. Say it. Just say what it is. No, don't say it.

No, I think we need to say it. I think it would be better if you say it. I don't want to ruin it. He would be very mad if you say it. Nate Dogg. Nate Dogg. I think there's a lot of things. Oh, you've got to give Nate Dogg five minutes.

I think there's a lot of things surprised tonight, like ghosts of Barstool Pass showing up at the door. That should be a surprise. I think that the people in the show. But I do get it. When you're winning best actor, the win or loss really matters. So that's the moment. When it's a joke award, I can understand the surprise being that you're even up there.

But if it's an insult award, the surprise would be pretty good too, right? I don't think you want to win a lot of these awards. No, but like seeing the relief of like the other things. Oh, he's gonna be walking off with an old fucking frame. I said, Nate's gonna walk out like Beyonce. If there was a good award, I said, if I had a choice between

you win best Barstool blogger of all time or you can just stay under the radar and get out of this thing unscathed, I would take – just get me out of here. I don't want to be up there. I don't want any attention. You're right. The people like – I think me, Smitty, Pete. Oh, Nate. We're going to be the –

Brandon. First Barstool event in 20 years for my parents. And I'm like – They're here? They're going to be back. They're going to come tonight.. Brandon. First barstool event in 20 years for my parents. And I'm like, they're here? It's going to be bad. They're going to come tonight. So I'm like. Mama Gaz. Papa Gaz.

I didn't even know you had parents. I thought you were born by wolves. Live in a den. We'll talk about it later. We'll talk about it later. What's your beef? No, no, no. Come on.

Air your beef. I got to go in a little bit, so let's do it. Okay. Well, you notice I haven't talked to you. This is about wrestling. Oh, I still pissed about that shit when y'all lied to Dave. But this is. I haven't talked to you. This is about wrestling. Oh, I still pissed about that shit when y'all lied to Dave. But this is, I haven't talked to you in about five months. I texted you the other day when you almost died.

And I gave you a one-word answer. He did not. Whoa, I did. I had a car wreck. Oh, really? He drove the car home. All right, I'll give you a quick story real quick. I watched him in the office.

I almost cried. He said that he got lifted from his car and then watched for four hours under medical observation. Correct. It actually was an off-duty paramedic who happened to be riding behind him who basically stepped him out of the car. And then he got in the car and drove it to the side of the road. The car was driven home. And it was a Tahoe. The car wasn't total.

I had two feelings in the last three months where I felt bad. I texted KB. I hadn't talked to him. I hadn't texted him since we hired him. What? And Brandon Walker. And now. Well, those are very different.

That's what. I thought they were, like, almost the same. Like, he was dead. Yeah. You know. Brandon was more dramatic. Yeah. It was.

Yeah. Oh, when we were driving up last night, he was anxious sitting in the front seat. I was not. Yeah, you were. Well, I was fighting some diarrhea feelings. Okay. What's your beef? Yeah, what's your beef? Yeah, what's the beef?

So, you know, I used to text you a lot. We used to have a relationship. And I haven't texted you in four months. Do you remember what happened? Do you remember what you did? Let's go to the text.

Do you remember what you did? We can look at the text messages and see what it is. By the way, Sass is spiraling. It won't be shown in the text. No, I'm just saying I wasted so much time.

No reason. Welcome to Barstool. What the hell? Well, sometimes we'll have, like, serious conversations. Used to when I would have a question for Dave or Erica, I wouldn't ask them. I'd say, I'd ask you first. Yeah, you'd be like, I have this guy that I think is good. Before I take it to them.

Yeah. But it was February, and I didn't know yet that I had my new contract didn't give me a bonus. Right? I didn't know that. I didn't know that at all. I don't get bonuses anymore. So I didn't give me a bonus, right? I didn't know that. I didn't know that at all. I don't get bonuses anymore. So I didn't know. So I texted you and said, hey, I don't want to bother Dave or Erica with this,

but I really just want to know for plans the next few months. And then that was the end of the text, and the next one was, are we getting bonuses this year? That was my full question to you. I don't want to go to Dave and Erica with this. I don't want to do that. I don't want to bother anybody. Hey, I'm just asking you before i go there and then you took the last five

words of it cut it send it to erica erica texted me and said why you have to be a dick about this oh i remember she why did you do that after i'd have to look at it just to make sure that's back but i remember her getting mad at you and be like what the fuck fuck? Why is he a dick? And I actually called Brandon. I called her. I was like, Brandon didn't do anything wrong. He got, I actually fell on the sword. I was like, I railroaded him on that one. She showed me the screenshot where you cut it.

He's addicted to gassing. You cut, he's addicted to gassing. Right. I am kind of excited about it. You made it seem like I was complaining about money. I am excited. I feel like. Here's the answer. He's a sick pup.

He loves to do this shit. But why'd you do that? Because he's gassed. Yeah, he didn't. There's a reason why that's a fucking verb. You got gassed. But I do remember that. And I remember he didn't. There's a reason why that's a fucking verb. You got gas. But I do remember that, and I remember her freaking out, and I'm like, I did take her back,

because I was like, Brandon didn't actually do anything wrong. Well, she texted me and said, you don't have to be a dick about this. Yeah, no, before I could do anything, she's like, I just texted him, and I'm like, oh, God, like, that's not the whole story. Yeah, no, that was, you got real, you got fucked there. That was bad. I got that a few times. That's a close apology.

Okay, well, now. That was the most sincere apology you're going to get. Okay, well, relationship back on. Yeah, no, that's on me. Yeah, Gaz is, you know, sometimes the most reliable guy to go to, and then there's other times. I'm moving back to New York City, and I'm excited to get back into, like, this.

Fuck. God damn it. Miami's kind of boring, so this is great. KFC, announce your Chicago move. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Gaz is taking over. Oh, I've been thinking about you moving back,

and there's so many people that don't know how you operate. How Gaz operates. I think it is good for business. When Gaz is starting to pop. Yeah, of course. You don't want to get Gaz, but you want others to get Gaz. I've been talking to the third floor about, like, Dave working here, because no one's ever worked for Dave in that company.

Yeah. At this point, I'm like, at any point, you're you're gonna get smoked and if you don't want that at all you should probably like yeah i wonder if anybody even showed up today because there's a lot of younger people that like have been like kind of not i was like skating just been like along for the not along for the not the way i was accommodating them right your first job like general already told me like that motherfucker can fuck off like he's like they can fucking leave like all that like that's they would not Like, he's like, they can fucking leave. Like, that's, they would not be doing that.

Oh, he's texted me so many names. I'm like, who's this? Who's this? Yeah. Do you think I give a fuck what that person says? Like, that kind of shit. No, and I, dude, nobody showing up day two said everything. It was like, oh, you guys are still not getting it.

Right. Like, he is going to go nuclear. And the person who can stand up to him right now is sass he's just gonna have to run in there and be like well do we suck do we sell out tonight we're at like 250 that's pretty close only 20 000 shy of madison square a lot of people were asking about that a lot of people were bringing that one up loving it yeah yeah there's been a lot of consent that's another one like i think p Pete took the wrath of that. But we talked about that $200.

Like, there's only $250 available. That was crazy. Yeah. I don't know. I got a little nostalgic. Chappelle at the Garden last night. Maybe it was, like, a little self-important, too. Like, we're back in Boston.

And I'm like, I don't know. Yes, it is. Barstool loves Barstool. I actually think people are going to look at it after. Because they're going to all be able to. Whoever's here is going to be able to meet all y'all. Like, they're going to have access to come see everybody. Like, when are you going to do that for?

No, that's a plus. There's a lot of other events that are $100. That should have been advertised. You might see. We don't advertise. Anything should have been advertised. We don't advertise. No, no, I did say that you're going to be able to meet everybody.

Dude Wipes and Body Armor are involved. I don't think it was, like, presented by. We wish to make more money. There's that. This would have been advertised a lot earlier. There's obviously stuff that came up. This was supposed to be a pen event before. So, it's like, you couldn't start advertising.

That's why we're doing it. And it was late. But, you know, you get to see everybody. You might witness a live firing. You might witness a live beheading. Five minutes of Nate Dogg. He's got to just take it. Sass not.

So it's on pay-per-view, right? And $10, by the way, for everyone at home. I'll just say this quick spiel. We are independent again. $10 goes directly to keeping everyone's job. Like, it's different than it was. There's going to be some lean times here coming up. So, everyone who buys, we appreciate it.

People are like, oh, I'm just going to see all the clips on Twitter. That's actually not happening. Because Dave has said. Love that. So, there's a lot of shit that you're going to be able to see. I thought we did that bad with Ruff and Rowdy on Friday. We start pushing too long. It was like every single thing.

But he's, you know, it might be after award one or award two, and then everything else is going like dark. It'll get probably behind the scenes shit. Somebody did ask me a question. Can you watch a replay if you buy it, or you have to watch it? Yeah, I think so. If it's set up the same way as Ruffin Rowdy, it's like two days. Ruffin Rowdy, then it would be like that, yeah.

Yeah, okay. So there won't be just like a live tweeting of the best moments all night. So you're going to have to tune in to watch it. I love it. I love it. All right, well, Gaz and Kevin, thank you. We're excited for tonight. Can't wait to see you, Seth. Jokes ready. How much for your jokes, man? Let me buy your jokes right now.

Hell no. Give you a hundred bucks for your jokes. I would give up my jokes. I got to think about it, though. I put a lot of fucking work into these. All right. Yak is sponsored by High Noon. If you're a tequila lover who's never satisfied with malt-hard seltzer offerings, you're going to love new High Noon tequila seltzer. Premium hard seltzer made with real tequila, real juice, clean finish. Because it's made with real Blanco tequila, only 100 calories, gluten-free,

no added sugar, available in four bright, crisp flavors, strawberry, lime, grapefruit, and passion fruit. Look for them on Drizzly at your local convenience or liquor store. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. We love High Noon. Yesterday's event was awesome. I had so much fun. So much fun.

High Noon. Go check them out. Peach is my favorite. We are going to play the egg game. Well, I mean this in a very good way, but yesterday did not feel like we were doing it yet. No. It felt like we were just dicking around together. It was so much fun.

Oh, so sore. Yes, my God. So sore. I had to take an Advil last night. So sore. Shout out to the free camera guys chasing us all day. Yeah. That was impressive work.

They didn't miss a thing. No. The shots of the eggs were incredible shots. So funny. I still have eggs. I watched me hit Brandon like a thousand times. It's so funny. Just the splatter.

The splatter. The splatter is so fucking good. It was so dramatic. So dramatic. In typical Brandon fashion. Also, my video where I'm like, is it on me? Yeah. And you guys are like, nah.

Nah. I feel like it's everywhere. There was more egg than you. Yeah. It was literally the Chris Farley. Here, here, right here. Wait, so why don't you just tell your jokes right now? No, no, no, no.

Put them in the middle of the college football program. Yeah. I'll give them to you, Big Cat, but there has to be a deal beforehand that you have to do. I'll give you two, and you have to do them. You'll do them? If I give you them, you have to do them. Can I say you wrote them or no?

Yeah, you can say I wrote them. Okay. Oh, you just fucked yourself, because then he's just going to say fucked up shit that you didn't even write? Yeah, you can say I wrote them. Okay. Oh, you just fucked yourself. Because then he's just going to say fucked up shit that you didn't even write. No, you have to do it for work. He's going to roast Dave. Okay, so before I present this award, I've got a couple jokes from Sass. What's the deal with minorities?

But he didn't write minorities. No, no. They're good. One of them is funny. I'm legitimately nervous for minorities. No, no. They're good. One of them's funny. I'm legitimately nervous. The one that I said you think was funny? I wasn't. My entire Barstool tenure has been staying out of Dave's radar,

and I've been damn good at it. No, you're fine. I'm sitting next to Smitty. No, you're fine. Oh, you'll be on the camera, but you're fine. Okay. Yeah. You also get, I mean, it's kind of weird to say,

but you get the pairing with KB, and Dave is obviously, he texted me about KB's mom. It was so tragic. So I think you get residual tragedy. Maybe Smitty chose to sit next to me then. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true.

Wait, so Rowan's at Pop Punk right now? So Pop Punk will be performing. Yeah. They're going to be performing a lot, I think. Yeah. They're going to be performing a lot. It's going to be a lot of fun. There's some pretty insulting things in the crowd as well.

Did you guys see that when you walked in? No. You didn't see that? No. What is it? I mean, I don't know that we can give any secrets away. There's a fat pen. Oh.

Because we're sitting at tables. Not some of us. Not some of us. Some of us are in a spot. I avoided the fat pen. Oh, spot. I avoided the fat pen. Oh, really? I avoided the fat pen. That is horrible.

Oh, my God. Was that a spoiler? Stank is making a face. Were we not supposed to say? No, this is something you should buy because we didn't say who's in the fat pen. This is what... Well...

You don't know. This is my original point. It ain't Clemmer. Even if it's all completely in the dark. It's hard to advertise something you don't know about. Well, so we did say when you were off the act one day, Roan read the categories, and then he got a text absolutely getting butt-fucked.

Which makes no sense to me. Makes no sense. Blattman's drunk with power. Drunk with power. Don't talk about my... I'm still trying to fuck him. Okay. He is looking cute today.

Yeah, he looks damn good. Does he? Yeah. Is his booty out? No, he's got the suit on. He's looking... He's already got the suit on? Yeah.

Oh, jeez. But, like, his jacket has tails. I think this is his day suit. It's his day suit, but the jacket has tails, and he has such ass-cheek control. He's popping the tails up one at a time. It looks so awesome. It is going to be wild seeing everyone in one room together. Do we have a, what is it, a lone survivor designated?

We should have made that Nate. Somebody that has to stay in, like, a bunker somewhere? Yeah, just in case something happens. Nate owns Barstool. He will. He has to do five minutes. He has to do five minutes. You got something? will. He has to do five minutes. He has to do five minutes. You got something? Nate has to do five minutes.

Is he here? Has to. Yeah, get him over here. But is it them that are pushing back or is it he's nervous to do it, I think? I can't imagine he's nervous to do it. No, I think he's going back and forth if he wants to do it or not. Text to see if he's here. I want to get him on here.

Rowan is going to be here in 12 minutes. I don't know if he was a train guy or a bus guy. The bus guys are still on the way. Dude, so the bus people are taking a bus back? Yeah. There's a bus that left at like 12. They'll get here, I guess, at 4. And then they're right after the awards show.

I'm getting on that bus to get back to New York for 2 a.m. for a 6 a.m. flight. Yeah, your itinerary over the next three days is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. You're going to get on a bus from Boston, go to New York for a 6 a.m. flight out of LaGuardia. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, dude. That's brutal. Just don't text me.

I'm going to be a real fucking... And Fenway Park's just right there. It's right there. Yeah, I think we're listening to whatever they're playing right now. Yeah. Which is good sound quality, I'm sure. Yeah. What song is that?

That's Live Your Life by Rihanna, isn't it? We're going to get stricken from YouTube? Yeah, shit. I don't think so. Okay, we're fine. I can barely hear it. Barely hear it is what TJ said. Yeah, yesterday was so much fun.

Kate is sick, and I'm going to say 20% might be because of the egg I threw at her. I hit her hard. I'm going to say 50%. I think I'm getting sick as well. Well, we were with Kate all day. Yeah. Well, now we also... I'm going to cause a fucking scene at this party. Did you get the letter at the hotel? Yeah, Legionnaire's disease.

Our hotel had a letter waiting in our rooms saying, hey, in our water system, there's Legionnaire's disease. What is Legionnaire's disease? It's like a bacteria that you get in your lungs. It's kind of rare. Like 20,000 people get it a year. But in the water system of this hotel, they said two people that have stayed with us have gotten Legionnaire's disease.

Have you brushed your teeth or anything? No, this is from the hotel in New York. It said, don't brush your teeth, don't take a shower. Kate did both of those things. Yeah. Hank was like, I took two showers. Yeah, I took a nice shower. I didn't see the letter.

I just was taking a shower like normal. They should just tell you when you're checking in. They should also just fix the water. How do you get Legionnaires out of the water? Because I saw the note, too, and I didn't read it. I didn't either. I just thought it was welcome to the New York letter or something. Except it was, yeah.

It was, hey, you might die. Yeah. Fuck. Was it like written in script? No, it was just typed out. We have a picture of it. Of the letter. Or I think he tweeted a picture of the letter.

Maybe he just tweeted the verbiage. But yeah, our hotel maybe got us all sick. Going to kill us. Doesn't feel good. I have to get a new suit because my suit is too big which is a first. Congratulations. Show the side profile.

Look at this. Because I know I'm trying to lose weight. You're getting there. Have you been mewing? That's me. Sorry about that. I gotta do this pose.

This pose is my pose. The whole time. And now there's no deus on the stage tonight anymore. No, they got rid of that. So essentially what happened was they were planning this

because it was originally a pen-planned event. They were planning it for the last, like, six months. We get independent again. Dave looked at the plan, threw it all out, and was like, I'm going to do the show. And so I'm excited for that. Like, he's going to – I'll tell you who's got to be the most nervous tonight. It's no one in this room.

Well, it's no one on these couches. It's the tech guys. Yep. Yeah. Dave is going to spend at least 20 minutes just rippling the tech guys. Andrew's head is going to be on a spike. If there's a single reverb on that microphone, he's going to lose it. Lose it.

It's going to be great, though. We can only hope. Yeah. A live firing is a non-zero chance, according to Hank. He would know. Is that Pete right there? No. That is Pete.

Hey, Pete, come on and sit over here. Why are you wearing that? Why are you wearing that? Pete, get over here. Pete, get over here. Pete, get over here. Out of work college football coach. Pete, get over here.

Sit down. Come on, we want to talk to you real quick. Come on, buddy. Come on, Pete. Come on, Pete. Five minutes. Pete, sit down for five minutes, please. You're already on camera.

We're asking you nicely. It would be a nice mental break. It would be a nice mental break. Sit with the boys. Why are you wearing that? Is that a fishing shirt? Yeah, it's nice and comfortable. It's loose.

It's light. It doesn't look like you, though. You look like a home plate umpire with the chest protector stuffed under him. No, go back to what was the other one? I don't remember. Out of work football coach was the first one. I just don't like the shirt. That's fine. It's go back to what was the other one? I don't remember. Attawork football coach was the first. I just don't like the shirt. That's fine.

It's not for you. What are you wearing? For you. I'm wearing a Barstool sports shirt because I'm a fucking guy. Here's the bathroom in this bitch.

Back that way. Yeah. Back that way? It's a maze. Back that way. Good luck. What way is that way? Behind us, goddammit.

Are we in a commercial break? That way. Are we in a commercial break? That's not your point to the wall. Motherfucker, go that way. Oh, this show works. Go that way. It's a loose-flowing conversationfucker, go that way. Go that way.

It's a loose-flowing conversation. Where's Che? I don't know. All right, Pete. Yeah. You know that Dave has at least 20 minutes in his set to rip anything that goes wrong with the tech. I mean, that's par for the course. Right.

Are you nervous about the tech? No. What have you thought about the last couple days where you've been at the center of Dave's target? Yeah. He was very complimentary. We're back in the mix. He was very complimentary, but he also said that the Kirk show was nice.

He said you were Hitler. You had the good traits. The good traits of Hitler. The good traits of Hitler. Yeah. The good traits of anybody are good. You had his complexion. Yeah.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. His painting. Yeah. You wore of anybody are good. You add his complexion. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. His painting. Yeah. Stressful. Mustache and cough. So are you nervous that Dave is now... I mean, he did call you...

I think he said you were number one. Like, most important person at the company almost. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. So is that... The bathroom's not this way. No. It's out here.

Sass is spiraling right now. Yeah. It's bad. I'm so angry. I've seen someone more confident at the bathroom. All right. It's that here. Sass is spiraling right now. Yeah. It's bad. I'm so angry. All right. It's that way then. There's certainly a bathroom now. Do you think this is going to go well?

I think so. I think it's going to be fun. It's old school stuff. People are going to like it. Content or not, who's your top three to get shit on tonight? I don't want to answer that. Why not? I don't know.

It just gets me. I think we know. I think we know. You're allowed. Okay. I don't know. It just gets me. I think we know. I think we know. Okay, so say one name. You say one name. I'll say one. All right, I'll say Rico Bosco. Okay.

Oh, so he wasn't in your top three. No, he didn't immediately spring to mind. I think Smitty. Smitty, Nate, Brandon. That might be right. Brandon is definitely in at least the top five. I don't think I'm top three. I think I'm top five.

Top five. I think Rico's ahead of me. I don't know. We just did Pickham. I was going to say, like, maybe he's waiting then. He was saving. Maybe he was saving the fastball for me. Pretty good vibes.

Is this good vibes on Pickham? It was better than what the people want. No, I know. Well, Whitney came in and basically said that and got Rico riled up. So that helped. So do you think it's a better option today? I'm just wearing a blue suit, white shirt, I know. Well, Whitney came in and basically said that and got Rico riled up. So that helped. So do you think it's a better option today? I'm just wearing a blue suit, white shirt, brown tie. Brandon has a, can I say?

Yeah. Brandon has like a velveteen red tux. Is that too much? I don't think it's too much. You don't think it's too much? I don't think you can do too much. You don't think you can do too much? I don't think you can do too much.

Not here, not tonight. Not after the last one. The Duncan Awards, yeah. How many guys do you have working for you tonight, Pete? I don't know. 20? You going to make a truck all night? 20 more?

Yeah. I want to play that egg game with you, by the way. Oh, yeah. Is that what you were doing yesterday? Yeah, I want to play that with you. Yeah. Can we? Not here.

There's no room. No, but we'll have to do it some other time. We'll play it in Chicago? Yeah, we'll do it some other time. While he's here, the YAK studio in Chicago, Pete? What about it? September 24th. Coming along good? It's coming along good. September 24th? Yes. Last time you were out there? Whoa. Yesterday. What did you say? Did you say ish? He said ish. Yeah. But you said hard 24. We'll get there. Okay, on the 24th? Yeah, you're 25th. Why am I 25th? Because there's no YAK on the 24th. We'll get there. Okay, on the 24th? Yeah, you're 25th.

Why am I 25th? Because there's no yak on the 24th. Oh, it's 25th. Are you sure? I think so. This shit's going to open on Halloween. 25th, yeah. It'll be open on Halloween.

It's a Monday. Opening day? Not opening. It'll be open for Halloween. Are you nervous that we have... I actually did want to talk to you about this. We might as well do it on air. Are you nervous that we're doing Surviving Barstool

when we are, the first week we're opening it? It's like the second. Is it? What's the date of Surviving? The 8th, I believe. When it starts taping. October 8th? Yeah. But you said that it wouldn't be fully done until the 13th. I mean, it's just dusting and like, just time, you know.

Okay, so it'll just be dust for Surviving Barstool. Yeah, it'll be fine. That's fine. That's going to be fun though. We're going to have everyone there for basically the opening week. Yeah. It's great. I hate you so much.

I know. I don't know why we're doing this. You're just so like you don't give anything. Yeah. You're so monotone. You're so just blah. Where's everybody else? Roan is on the way.

I hit Kate with an egg yesterday and I think she's sick. Okay. Stevie's mom died that's sad I just found out now should I reach out I would reach out it would be nice he doesn't like you at all

that's fair it would be nice if you said something and then Che is moving right now. He's on the road. He's doing a live thread of it, and it is boring. His move? Yeah. Yeah, no shit.

A live thread of moving is boring. And he did the fucking thread emoji, too. He was like, moving from New Jersey to Chicago, thread. And I was like, wait, can we pull that up? Yeah, pull it up. Let's see where it is. Did the Tungsten crew get tatted? Yeah. You all got Tungsten tats? Yeahats yeah okay he got it on his kneecap okay yeah you

can see that live oh that's right yeah it's only it's only is that coming up you're out of control all right i'm moving my family from new jersey to illinois thread i hate i what's worse before you go scroll this how does that have 800 likes? That shit sucks. What's worse? The thread emoji? Everybody unlike that. If you're watching the act and like that, unlike that right now. No, what's worse? The thread emoji? I either tell big bookmarks. What the fuck? People are like, I'm going to save this. I got to get back to this.

Or tweeting, I don't know who needs to hear this, but. Let's get this down to zero interaction. Yeah. I don't know who needs to hear this, but is my biggest pet peeve. I did a thing is the worst. I did a thing. It's always bangs.

It's girls getting bangs. Full stop. Full stop is the worst. Or proposing to somebody. Oh, yeah. So I did a thing. Stop platforming barstool. Where are you going?

Full stop. This is... You're not done. We're not ending the show. We're not ending the show. We're doing Steve and Chase Twitter thread. Pete, when did you find out that they were

cutting people from the speaking list? Sass is in his feels right now. I'm just annoyed that no one would even think to tell me. I have not been told. Basically, a sheet will appear in front of me at like 7 o'clock and I will just follow the sheet.

It's Blackman. Blackman's your enemy. I understand. So, did you get cut? I was cut, and no one told me. I'd say it's still early. I had to find out who branded. It's still early. It's tonight.

No, but we have six hours to go. Nick, you found out like a week ago. Like, you could get... Yes. Did you get cut? Yes. But my award that I was presenting was no longer an award. They were going to find me another one,

but then I wasn't sure if I was going to even be here tonight, so they did not give me a new one. Okay. Very good communication. I think the awards and the speakers could change still. Really? Yeah. Is Dave doing a monologue to start?

I don't know. You do know. You know the run of show. He's off the top. You 100% know the run of show. What he's going to do, who knows? 8 o'clock he has how much time before the first one? As much time as he wants.

How many awards are being given out? 19. Okay, 19. That's good to know. These are things that we should use to promote. Okay. To buy pay-per-views. 19 awards.

19 awards. So we're not even talking about 20 awards tonight. Yeah, why didn't they get to 20? There was 20 at one point. For the anniversary. I think it was Sass's award. They were just like, we'd rather just do 19. So who was speaking of 19 people?

That's a lot of people. I think there's 19 presenters. I'm one of them. So I guess you're like 20th ranked. Yeah, it's kind of good. But are you nominated? I don't know. No one knows.

No one knows anything. Yeah, it's fun. It. But are you nominated? I don't know. No one knows. No one knows anything. Yeah, it's fun. It's so exciting. Nobody knows anything. I can't tell when you're being serious. It's not exciting. You got me in a fucking pretzel. No one's serious.

You're a mental assassin. Get this weird brain off the couch. This guy's so cuckoo, he won't even tell us. Enough with the bits, Pete. Yeah, Pete with the fucking bits. All bitness, Pete. Is this the end of the show now? No, no, you're done.

It's like not even a quarter way through. You're trapped. Clip that back on, bitch. Yeah, I'm going to get up. Yeah, clip it back on. Send Blattman in if you see him. Okay. Seriously.

No, no, no, no. We'll just have him sit here, good in that shirt. Send Blatman in if you see him. Okay. Seriously. That seems like a bad idea. No, no, no, no. We'll just have him sit here, so you stay down. Dude, I know that thing feels like a Tempur-Pedic. Brandon, can you text Blatman to come up? Yes, yes, yes. Blatman? He's leaving, he's leaving, he's leaving. Stop, illegal, illegal.

Wait, stop. Do you not have his number? No. I'm not going to... Blatman's kind of my boss and i talk about i sexually harass him all the time why aren't you gonna sit here for a discussion like you're just talking about blackman i'll just go get him i'm texting him right now you don't have to go get him all right what else we talk about today give me a recap of the last half hour uh it's been good

we have a guy we never went through steven chase thread oh yeah we go through steven chase thread let's see it he's moving his family. I'm moving, wait, scroll back up, I gotta read. Alright, let's rank each piece of the thread out of ten. Okay, I'm moving my family to the Thursday to Illinois Thread. This is a negative one. That ratio doesn't make sense. Why? The bookmarks are crazy. 500,000 views

on that, on that interaction. Who tweeted it? That's all. Who retweeted it? That's all, yeah. It had to have been, Did the Surf and Turf account retweet that? That had like half a mil followers. What a huge fucking mistake. This is the people. There's a lot of those people.

They think that you're going to die as soon as you get to Chicago. Alright. I haven't blinked during this entire process, but driving out of our neighborhood, I wept like a baby. Well, he misses the flood. What does he mean, blinked? He physically wasn't blinking? I guess not. Went to in-laws for the day in PA.

Easy first stop. Packed up a ton of stuff in the morning. I'm about to fall asleep. And have spent six and a half hours drive to Cleveland in the morning with several stops probably along the way. Thanks. Got to rest up tonight. This is half hours.

This is like a Civil War log. This shouldn't have started yet. He should have started today. All of these yesterday don't matter. He's cosplaying Anne Frank. And it just doesn't have the impact. Yesterday was a respect thing. Say goodbye to my folks and my in-laws.

The real work starts today. Six and a half hours to Cleveland. But I went to bed insanely early and got ten hours of sleep. Ten hours of sleep is crazy. Car is packed to the brim. Ready to dominate today. Also, six and a half hours is not that long. No.

No, that's very. He does have two small children. That does change. You guys did four hours last night. Yeah. If not more, what did you do in five? Well, we did have Brandon, who's a small child. I fought diarrhea the whole time and never told y'all. Not to brag, but I'm filling up gas on my own.

Maybe my 15th or so time ever in life. He's from Jersey. Okay. Oh, that's just. I thought he was going to get a perfect. Yeah, show the life. He's from Jersey. Okay. Oh, that's just, I thought he was going to get a perfect. Yeah, show the numbers. He's just pumping. There's no way.

He's proud that he knows how to pump gas. Look at that face. He's way too proud, too. I want to smash him. That's the most smug he's ever been. Oh, I want to fucking hit him so hard right now. Oh, all right, next one. Oh.

Hit a rest stop for lunch and bathroom breaks. My son said he was cold, so my wife opened the trunk to get his sweatshirt, which he refused to put on. The trunk wouldn't close, so he had to rearrange a bit, but I got some chocolate-covered pretzels, so I'm happy. I think that's the worst one. He is the biggest child in this car. Sales team, why isn't this thread sponsored?

Is that it? That's it. That's it? That's where we're at? We're not even in Cleveland yet? Well, that's where we're at. You're not even in Cleveland yet? Well, six and a half hours,

so he just started at eight o'clock. He was in Cleveland like yesterday, and he's not in Cleveland yet. And he bribed himself with chocolate-covered pretzels. He's an adult. He's like, well,

I was having not a great time, but I found a way to get chocolate-covered pretzels. A tourist photo in front of a rest stop. But I got some sweet treats. Yeah. And now I'm happy.

So happy. So happy. Sweet treats should not be able to alter a person's mood over the age of 10. Not at all. Not like drastically change your mood. Yeah, I was really cranky until I had these sweet tarts. I was going to kill myself, and then I got a pack of Swedish fish. Just imagine his four-and-a-half-year-old son being like, Dad, you seem like you need a treat.

Dad, if you can drive two more hours, you get a treat at the end. Keep going. Yeah. Oh, my God. Pete, stop nodding. Why are you nodding so much? Just hang with the boys. Yeah.

Hang with the boys. You're making a lot of sense. I mean, this is a thread you would do. This is your turn. No, I would never do this. This is your monologue. That was high-octane action for you. This is what your thoughts are.

No. Pete hasn't said that much in the last five years. Yeah. Pete, what type of porn do you watch? Regular. What does regular mean? I mean, expound on that. So not interracial?

Yeah. Do you think that's not regular? I don't know. I was asking you. Okay. Do you watch interracial porn now? I'm not going to answer that. Dick and vagina or dick and butt?

I don't know. Both? I'm not going to answer that. Dick and vagina or dick and butt? I'm not going to answer that. Both? I'm not going to answer that. Both? You watch Strictly Head videos, I bet. POV Head. Yeah. That's weird.

Okay, so no. Okay. What? Double team? That isn't weird. Double team or orgy? You watch lesbian porn. I'm not going to answer this.

You do lesbian porn? Dildo? Strap-on? Answer the question, Pete. I'm not going to answer the question. Why? porn? Dildo? Strap-on? Answer the question, Pete. I'm not going to answer the question. Why? Because. You said regular.

What is regular to you? What's regular? Trayvon Diggs having a lot of regular porn. I don't know what regular is. Name one of your favorite porn stars. I don't have one. Are you doing big titties or fat ass? Because they usually don't come together.

But when they do. But when they do. When they do, it's a beautiful thing. When worlds collide. It's a beautiful thing. When worlds collide. It's a beautiful thing. Brandon's just thinking about all of his favorites. No, I'm not.

I can see it. Have you seen a porno with a chick with big titties? Probably. Or a big cock? Oh, so have you seen a porno with a chick with a big ass?

Fat ass? Probably, yeah. Have you ever stumbled upon trans porn? By accident, but finished because out of respect. That back button. Probably, yeah. Have you ever stumbled upon trans porn? By accident, but finished because out of respect. That back button. It's respect.

That's genocide. I'm not good. Do you skip ahead, or do you watch the whole film as it is intended? I'm not good. Well, you're a tech guy, so you probably appreciate the cinematography. The credits. You read the credits. Yeah, give me a Scorsese one.

Yeah. A lot of fancy lighting. You want a Maf the credits. I'm a, yeah, like give me a Scorsese one. Yeah. Like a lot of. A Scorsese porn. Fancy lighting. You want a mafia porn? I'm all about. So you want like high production. So no amateur shit.

Oh, you're not an amateur. You want a big long tracking shot of the porn? Yeah, that'd be nice. One single shot would be nice. Impressive. I would love to take like a cum shot. One single cum shot. Just the entire thing.

Okay. Start to finish. Single camera? Single camera. Wow. Can I ask a question yeah i i don't know pete as well as you guys but if the rumor about him is him is that he can't come does he watch porn yeah that's good i think you guys know that you can come yeah but there's

nothing that comes out big cats always told me you can't come i know there's nothing that comes out that's medically inaccurate but the loads are different, right? It's completely clear. Smaller. Loads are different. Completely smaller, kind of wimpier. No. They come out and they're like, eh. Yeah.

Like a little breeze bottle being sprayed. Yeah. It's like when you open up a brand new one, it has that drizzle. You guys firing live bullets is crazy. Crazy and irresponsible. Live bullets about what? I have three children. I'm the only person that can carry on my name.

It's nuts. What do you mean? Exactly. You are 22. We're just talking a little bit. You're too old. But you should get it done. You should get it done.

I don't want to get it done. Wait a minute. He's not that much younger than me. He is, right? Five years. What are you, 57? I'm not 57. Wait.

Wait. How old are you again, Pete? 39. Oh, thank God. I forgot if I was. I'm just a little older. Yeah, and that would have bothered me. You're 44.

I'm 44. I'm two years older than Stephen Che, which is fucked up. Yeah. Pete, if you had to murder someone, could you do it? Good question. I think so. Yes? Yeah, if I had to.

Would you want to do it? No. What if it was a bad person, an evil person? What are you asking, want or could? Or need? What if it was someone who came into your house and took all of your transsexual porn away from you? What would you do then?

There's no way they could get it all in one trip. We're talking about the FBI now. Are you like, because I know there's stages to that. Are you like a couple millibytes or are you like a terabyte kind of guy? No, it's all streaming. It's all streaming.

Yes. You're crazy if you own it. I feel like you just like everything. There's a lot of people, pedophiles, who download their porn. I've never filled up a terabyte. You have to do. No. When you see these pedophile busts, they own it.

They own it. 18 terabytes. Yeah, they own it. What's a terabyte? It's a lot. A lot. It's a lot. What's a megabyte? You have to do. No. When you see these pedophile busts, they own it. They own it. What's a terabyte? It's a lot. A lot. It's a lot. What's a megabyte?

Like a... A little. Yeah. It's mega gigabyte and then terabyte? Yeah. Or is there a... Mega giga terabyte.

Like the one gigabyte iPod held like 50,000 songs. Oh, wow. A terabyte would take you forever to fill up. Well, Pete's

done a few times over. I got two TBs. Hard drive. Yeah. Yeah. Pete, what's done a few times over. I got two TBs, hard drive. Yeah. Yeah. Pete, what's the next big thing in the tech world? In the world of tech? Yes, that's what I said.

AI. Are we ready for it? Yeah. You have a plan. How are we ready for it? We're just ready. We're going to seamlessly integrate and find synergies when it's... How's AI going to affect you?

You just crammed every buzzword into a sentence. That's what I did. You got me. So how are you ready for it? We're just... AI is just going to take over. Everything? Yeah.

Like podcasting? Yeah. So will AI take the job? We're going to be able to take your voices and your images... Wait, we? Are you AI? And create part of my take and whatever show you do.

Defunct ones? Yeah, we'll just be able to make it all. Without you guys. It's going to be the rebirth of Rasslin. It'll be great. I'm not sure we have enough video from Rasslin. Why did you? You've never had an attitude like that. Why did you just turn into a housewife?

That was pretty fucking awesome. He just landed a zinger. Why didn't you turn into a housewife? He just got you good. You're like in a haircutting place right now. You're at this hair salon. He just got you good. I'm just saying.

Say it again. Pretty soon, we'll be able to just make all your shows without you guys, which would be great. He said there's not enough video. But pretty soon, we won't need you guys. Oh, counterpoint. No, we're making the show. You don't know how to make AI. No, the AI people make AI ai and then we just program it but we can just give me buy some ai to to do all this shit no

you can't so i can ai you into a transsexual microphone like this to your face you you could i mean we won't get into that but that's. Did you get that shirt as a gift? No. You bought it yourself? I did. I picked it out and I paid for it. It was shipped to me. Wow. I used to have that shirt.

What does it say on it? It's like Columbia. Yeah, I used to have that shirt. It's comfortable. My dad got a job. Oldie but a goodie. One of the best. Roan. Roan! Roan!

Come on in. No, no, no, no, Pete. The show's almost over. We've learned some things about Pete. He likes transsexual porn. He thinks AI is going to take over, and he would be able to murder someone if they try to take his transsexual porn from him.

Are you talking about bras with their dicks chopped off? I'm not talking about it. These guys areicks chopped off? I'm not talking about it. These guys are obsessed with it. I'm not talking about it. You're playing it close to the chest. Like the mastectomy bras that wind up being duped. I don't like getting a mastectomy.

It does not make you a dude. It's probably part of the package when you're trying to get a whole reassignment. You technically got bottom surgery. You got gender affirming bottom surgery. Yeah, that's true. You got gender affirming body surgery. Yeah, no, yeah, you did. I would say that's not accurate.

Why? What section of your body is that in? What part of your body did you get surgery on? My testicles. Oh, interesting. Oh, you got neutered. Yeah. Yeah.

Highly recommend. Highly recommend. Why? To everybody. Why? Like I was saying, walking around with live bullets is insane. You know, it's fine that it worked for you, but highly recommending that is kind of weird. I don't think so.

Why do you care about my semen? I don't know. Not yours. I'm just saying in general. So are you still pulling out or are you emptying the chamber? I mean, you don't have to pull out. So you're filling to brim? That's the point.

You're a cream pie king. Is that like what it is? You get a vasectomy strictly because you're like, I want a cream pie more? Yeah, I think so. Is that the whole purpose of it? I've been thinking I really need a cream pie again. The point is to not have kids.

While you're cream pieing. It's to not have kids as you cream pie. It's not just to not have kids. That could be abstinence. You still want to have the sweet release of a cream pie-ing. It's to not have kids as you cream pie. It's not just to not have kids. That could be abstinence. You still want to have the sweet release of a cream pie. Any Boston cream pies on deck tonight? It's much better with Roan here. He's much better than you guys.

We agree. Where's Blattman? We all agree. Blattman's right there. Blattman. Okay, great. All right, you can sit down now. Blattman, get over here.

Get that fat ass over here. Wait till you see his day suit, though. Hey, we're on house practice. It was good, dude. To Pete? Are we allowed to talk about the show yet? Well, that's what we've been digging into. Or a couple more weeks.

We've been digging into it. Yeah, we're not going to be able to talk about it. Oh, look at Blatman's got his fake cast on. He's got his fake cast on. He's wearing his suit. Is this your day suit? Do you have a different night suit? No, this is all I brought

Why did you cut Sass? I didn't cut Sass Why was I removed and no one told me? That would be good to know That's a fair thing I wasn't handling the presenter stuff I texted you the update I texted you the update

So you knew? No, I didn't know you were cut He texted me saying I'm presenting something So you knew? No, I didn't know you were cut. He texted me saying, I'm presenting something today. So if Sas got cut, I got cut. And you didn't tell either of us? Correct. Why?

I don't need to be everyone's middleman. But Orange, you're not the middleman. You're the main man. It sounds like you're my middleman. But you're the only one who knows. I'm fine with that. There is my middleman. Why did you get the middleman? Who should have told me this? I'm fine with that. There is my middleman. Yeah. Why don't you get a middleman? So then who would have?

Who wants to be my middleman? Who should have told me this? I don't play that game. What do you mean you don't play the game? He doesn't play the game. I'm not here to rat people out. Do you agree that Sass and myself, to a lesser degree, should have been told? I think it could have been handled a lot better.

He wrote jokes. Any sort of heads up. You think you're drunk with power? I don't have any power. That accusation has been made. What power? What are you talking about? That accusation has been made.

By who? By whom? On this show. What show what power i just said blackman's drunk with power i disagree it's a statement that i don't really have any facts to back it up but i said it does sound i did say it is a good phrase that you could throw at anyone and i was like oh yeah uh no i don't think so you don't think you're drunk i think i'm just doing or if you call someone defensive that's another one yeah like you're defensive because you can't defend it right you sound like a guy who's drunk with power. All right. That's fine.

Did you have any, say, in cutting sass? I wasn't assigning any of the presenters for any of the awards. Can you tell us what the awards are? You guys told me, like, two months ago I was presenting, and then the day of I find out through Brandon that I'm not. Listen, I understand totally. No, I don't think you do. No, I mean, I just said that I totally. No, I don't think you do.

No, I mean, I just said that I do. No, I don't think you do. All right, so explain to me. Make him understand. Because you knew and you didn't tell me. Again, I'm not being the middleman. You're not the middleman. Somebody's got to talk to us.

You're the only one I knew. I wasn't the one handling that stuff. So Dave should have reached out to you. So should you have reached out to the middleman and then reached out to us? Listen, I just said that we could have done it better. That's fine. Okay, fine. Yes, sure. I should have told you. He wrote jokes. You could have done it better. That's fine. Okay, fine. Yes, sure. I should have told you. He wrote jokes.

You should have. Alright. He wrote jokes. Can I get some of the jokes? Now everyone wants the jokes. Francis wants them now. Oh, really? What? Yeah. You gave them to Francis? I thought we had a deal. Well, you never shook on it. Well, Blattman, cut Francis' part. Yeah, please. No, no. You have all the power. Cut his part.

You want Francis's window? No. Tell us some categories tonight. I'm not at liberty. Listen. I can. I can. Should I?

Should I? Why don't you do it? At this point in the night. Rowan has the info. At this point in the day, if we're trying to get people to buy a pay-per-view, we should probably tell them what to watch. Let me say this. There's this narrative that I'm withholding information.

That's exactly what's happening. I'm just relaying or doing what I was asked to. Sounds like you're a middleman. Fine. Okay. Glad we reached that. Not just mine. I don't think you're a middleman as much as you are the main man.

Yeah, I don't think. When they make the decision, Sass and Brandon are going to get cut, it goes. Who does it go to first? I feel like we're just doing a carousel. I just agreed with you. No, but it goes directly to you. Part of the team, yes? No, you are the team.

There's a whole bunch of people out there. Look behind you. There's three people just doing this one show. They didn't know. Oh, you knew? Sango did not know. Sango did not know. I didn't say they know.

I'm saying there's three people just putting on this one hour show. I know, but you were the one. I was getting email. I got an email from you last week. And a lot changed since then. So why would you not say anything? We could keep having this back and forth for hours. I just don't understand the idea of not saying anything.

What do you want me to say? I agree with you. I would like a formal apology. I apologize that you didn't say that in a better fashion. Seth, why don't you just come up with me and present the award with me. No, I don't want like a pity presentation. It's not. Like I'm going to fucking make a wish.

So who replaced both of them? Who replaced Brandon and Seth? I don't know. There's 19 people. I don't know. A lot of changes happened. Awards got scrapped. Things got added.

Just get Sass an award. We don't even have to think. I don't want. I don't want. Give them the one that they give at the Emmys where they do Best Folk Award and they have the screen. I don't want an award. This is like the deformed pick choosing for the Colts in the eighth round.

Are there actual physical awards? Oh, it's horrible. Jesus Christ. Are there physical awards? Yeah. What do they look like? They're little trophies. Oh, you gave that information up. No problem. All I said was trophy, but now I won't. They? They're little trophies. Oh, you gave that information up, no problem.

All I said was trophy, but now I won't. They're little tiny baby trophies. Tiny baby trophies. Yeah, we're in trouble. We're hemorrhaging. And then we have to hand them all in so they can melt them down and sell them for parts. You guys don't actually get to take these home. These are actually worth some money.

They're all the same one. I'm going to hand it back. All right. I think this has been healthy. Tell us some awards. Rowan's got all the info, brother. Okay, Rowan. I got reprimanded.

I got talked to like a special needs child last time I said the award. I just got a text. Sask got bumped for Ryan Whitney. Who's texting you that? Gaz wait i think no i think i had whitney on the so because i have both documents yeah i got the old one and the rome why didn't you tell me i didn't know i didn't see you i didn't i wasn't looking for your name on the document i literally i at two in the morning last night i double checked the email to make sure I was presented.

We wrote an email for you. We were going to take teenage wasteland. Can I say one thing? What's my age? I'm relieved to have been cut. Why aren't you relieved? Yeah, that's a question that I have. Like, I understand that you wrote jokes, and I apologize for that, but why are you taking this so much better than...

I'm so thankful that I don't have to do that. He didn't write anything. I came up to Danny and said, and I asked Brandon if I could tell him one of my jokes, and he goes, you wrote jokes? Let's get a taste of it. I was going to go up there and tell him to present it. The good news is you're not Matt. No, I'm not.

I wrote a joke. I wrote a joke. I don't even get to be here for this. But you are definitely going to be replaced by someone who didn't put in any effort. No, 100%. And I just think it's crazy. I'm not mad. I think it's wildly unprofessional

to have someone under the impression that they're presenting and then the day of be like, oh shit, we didn't tell you? Now tell me what the award show is called. I don't know. What are we here for? I don't say that word anymore.

The Barstool Sports. I'm here for the professional Barstool Sports. Those are synonymous.stool Sports. I'm here for the Penn Awards. Unprofessional Barstool Sports. Those are synonymous. I'm here for 20 years of Penn. Penn respected you. Yeah. They treated me right. Penn had you messed up. Alright, well, Blatman, can you tell us anything?

We're selling pay-per-views. I know. I've been asked to not. I'm in a weird spot. Who told you not to? Tell us one thing. I want to know who the top dog is. You can tell us one thing. The first award is Most Random Hire. Oh. Okay. That's you not to? Tell us one thing. I want to know who the top dog is. You can tell us one thing. The first award is most random hire. Oh, okay. That's the first award? Yeah. Who is,

who made the awards, and who is telling you not to say these? So there was a fleet of people that made the awards, and there were a lot of, at first I thought that it was a ragtag group of jokers and clowns, because I walked in on a meeting of a ragtag group of jokers and clowns talking about the show. Who were some of the jokers and clowns? Can't say that.

I'm not... Did you guys all sign NDAs before going on the show? But then the real people that actually made it, it was like Hank and Quiggs and Millmore and Gaz and someone else. There were five people. And Dana. Those were the five. They came to Dave with a bunch of the awards and Dave

threw a bunch of them out the window and was like, okay, we're going to redo a bunch of these awards. Until, I think, today, there's been a document that's being edited. These are the new awards, new nominees, and that's how they've been figuring it out. Information.

That was just some information. Well, I'm just more confused as to why you knew and didn't decide to tell me. Because I feel like we had a good time. Don't you dare turn this shit on me. I thought we were friends. Don't you fucking dare. This was very, this was nice.

Ron will always be a fucking snake. Yeah, that's what you just have to learn. This was guided information. Stabbed in the back. This was a good back and forth. Oh, you didn't give me shit. You didn't give me shit for information. I didn't have shit to give you.

I knew you weren't doing your award like three weeks ago. Why? I don't understand. I got an email a week ago from Blackman saying I was doing an award. Oh, Seth, you're not even invited. I found out at band practice last night what the order of the awards were. Okay, give me some names. Or send me the list.

I want to know who's presenting. What's your issue now? You just want to see who is in and... I want to know who I got swapped out for. Whitney. It's Whitney. I just guessed. But Whitney was already on it.

He was. No, but they were like... Yes, he was. No, he wasn't. In the document that you sent me, Whitney was presenting. I'm looking at... I can pull it up right now. Go ahead.

You want me to? Yeah. What's wrong with this guy? He's spiraling. he's mad he's angry spiraling from the second this all right here we go i thank you that you got rid of me i didn't get rid of anyone i just i appreciate it i know that you made the decision i appreciate it by the way mattress firm mattress firm everyone needs quality sleep to feel restored and function at their best and achieve this the right mattress matters luckily mattress firm is here to help their sleep experts receive over 200 hours of sleep training to help match you with the right mattress embedding accessories for your needs with their lowest price guarantee you can be confident that you'll find your perfect mattress at the best price and if you're not

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with a new one go to mattressfirm.com right now thank you to match you're not sending me the list i just looked at it so you were not uh no whitney was not whitney was not on it what whitney was not is was on it but was you got it so the guy, what? Whitney was not on it. Biz was on it. But was. You got it. So the guy. Why are you trying to prove me wrong? Because you were wrong. I just said I was wrong. I just said that.

I got to go. Someone else got cut too. Who? Did I say who else got cut? I got cut. Huh? I got cut. You got cut.

So I'm the third person. I got cut. No, no. Yeah. The Big J award got cut. Yeah. Wait, are you cut cut? Kate, come on. Yeah. Who else got cut? I. Wait, are you cut-cut? Kate, come on.

Yeah. Who else got cut? I think Megan McIverney, maybe? Who's the moil running this shit? Is Nate going to get to do five minutes? I didn't see that on the most recent thing. Oh, look at the butt groove in this couch. It's enormous.

Who's ass cheeks? Kate, are you okay? Yes, I'm fine. What's wrong? It's just acute bronchitis. I'm not contagious, but they can't give me the usual medicine for it. Oh, you're definitely contagious because I feel like I got bronchitis. Oh, no.

Wait. All right, so it wasn't the egg? It wasn't. At first when I came in, they were like, did you get hit with an egg or something? And I was like, oh, God. Yes, almanila poisoning was the first. No. Oh, I mean, you're back.

You got hit the hardest out of all of them. I did. Really? I don't know if I have. Oh, my God. Wait, time out. Wait, do you have a bruise? Do you have a bruise?

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. That's a huge bruise. Oh, my God. Whoops. Look at those hands, by the way. Whoops. It was funny because the Beeb texted me unrelated yesterday,

like right after being like, thanks for getting Ted Cruz. And I was like, yeah, that was awesome. I was like, oh, by the way, I like almost murdered Kate with an egg. And I sent it and he's like, ha, ha, ha, that's awesome. I thought it was that way. Yeah, I thought he was messaging you just to be like, thanks. Thanks for putting her in her life. Well, Katie's stats did come up to me and she's like,

you got to live my dream yesterday. Yeah. Of what? Throwing an egg at Kate? What does Katie's stats have against me? Hitting Brandon in the face. Hitting Brandon. Guys, is Sass going to be okay?

No, he's not. Is he sick now? He just peed for the second time in 15 minutes. No, he's not peeing. He's screaming in the mirror. He's double helix peeing. Holding his phone. He's going through.

He's been spiraling since the beginning of the show. It's good. It's so healthy. First off, it's good controversy for the show as like an appetizer for Brandon's controversy tomorrow. And second of all. It's not until Friday. Oh, Friday. Whatever the fuck day it is.

It's hard to keep track. But second of all, it's good for him to express himself, stand up for himself, prove that he cares about things. If heads are going to roll today, why not let Sass do a little head bowling? Why not let him roll a couple heads? Now, do you think that when I go up to present my award and I'm like, I have a special guest, it's little Sasquatch, come on up, do you think he'll get out of his seat? No.

And then he'll look bad. Yeah, then he'll look really bad because that was my plan. I'd be like, Sass wrote a couple jokes. I'd like him to come up. Yes. And it would be great if Francis went before me, because then Sass would have to tell the same jokes. He'd bust his nut.

You don't think he'll move? No. If I ask him? No. Then he'll be mad at me, though. Who cares? I don't want him to be mad at me. He's mad at you.

I love the boy. He's mad at you already. He's mad at me for what? He's just mad at everyone. He was just mad at me. I'm his biggest ally. No, he's mad at you. Why is he mad at me?

Because you're face deep in Blackman's ass. Yeah, that's true. That's fucking true. Hard not to. Oh, there he is. What? Did you just take a lap? No, I went to the bathroom.

He just had to breathe. I asked the hypothetical that if I went up for my award and I said, and I have a special guest here with a couple jokes, little Sasquatch. No, I don't want to do it. Get out of your seat. No. And then you'd be mad at me because then the camera would go to you and not get me out of your seat.

And you'd look bad. I don't give a shit. Okay. All right. Do whatever you guys got to do. So I won't do that. I won't do that. I'm just coasting now.

Clock out after this. You should just get hammered. Yeah, I'm going to. Start getting hammered. Yeah. Wear sunglasses. You can't go buy a bottle of scotch at the fucking, I'm going to. She's getting hammered. Yeah. Where's some glasses? Go buy a bottle of scotch at the fucking,

you can't even buy alcohol in this goddamn city. This city is disgusting. The people, mostly. This city's awesome. Yeah, I had such a good time the last time I was here. When does Pat Bev get here? Five o'clock. He got cut.

Did they not tell you? Wait, are you doing the post game? Yeah. Maybe? No? Yeah. Paper view. That'll be part of the paper view.

Why don't you have Sass on the post game? It won't be? Never mind. It won't be part of the paper view. What's that going to be on? Half-Path 5. Ah. And that comes out next week.

He is a grumpy boy. Sass, I want you to have your own night of hate. It's not a night of hate. Yeah, you could sell I want you to have your own night of hate. It's not a night of hate. Yeah, you could sell out a big building with your own night of hate. 1,500 tickets in Boston last year. Whoa! And how many does this hold? About 200.

Oh! So if you were up there, you would have sold this out seven and a half times. Pretty much. He's not saying it, but he's saying it. Yeah. Sell out Huntsville. No problem. At what cities did you do

more than 200 tickets? Almost everyone. Except for Huntsville and Ontario. It was worldwide, bro. That's Ontario, California. I'm excited for tonight. I got a lot of...

Oh, it's going to be... People are nervous. It's going to be very good. Knowing how... Everyone together. If you like Barstool, and especially if you've been a fan of... People are nervous. It's going to be very good. Everyone together. If you like Barstool, and especially if you've been a fan of Barstool for a while, tonight's show is going to be for you. Or if

you hate Barstool, a little schadenfreude. Yeah. Do you think anyone's going to be drunk? Like, I always hope for wild cards. I'm going to be too many ahead of time. Yeah, Sass, please take one for the team and get just shithoused beforehand. Oh, I'm taking one for myself.

Do you want to get shitfaced together? Right after this. Yeah. Yes. You want me and Sass blacked out? Yes, yes. I got to be able to fit into my suit. You think that drinking scotch for the afternoon is the difference between you and me?

Oh, fuck. I don't think so. How tight is your suit, man? I tried it on this morning. That is the difference. One shot. No solids allowed. A button pops as soon as you take a shot.

Oh, man. I got to get a new suit. Today? Doesn't fit. Too skinny. I think I just got the sizes wrong when I sent them. I'm going to show up in my hotel robe. Cigar in hand.

It's going to be like this. Weight shit face. Vegas video. We're going to have fun. No this. Weight shit face. Yeah. Vegas video. Sass, you're going to have fun. No, it'll be fun. Yeah. Yeah. You think it's going to be best dressed.

Just won't be able to get that suit. Ooh. I think Ken Jack's in a kimono. Really? I don't know if that's possible. That's disrespectful. Yeah. That's disrespectful as hell.

Just because he's got an Asian girlfriend? Yeah. Classic. I had all the girls send me their outfits and I felt creepy being like what are you guys wearing? Casey what are you wearing right now? And what are they wearing? Dresses? Very fancy like real ass

red carpet ass dresses. Oh shit Best dressed among the women it's like they all have a history of practicing this, trying this you really gotta see who's best dressed amongst the fellas because none of these, everyone is slobs. All these are beach-hitted men. I didn't buy a haircut yesterday.

I got a haircut yesterday too. So did Rome. Do you think he's wearing a suit or do you think he's wearing the Frank outfit? No, he's wearing a suit. Frank has suits. I know he has suits, but I wondered if he's... Probably a great Mets tie. Two options. Thank you so much. Two ties? I just ran to Zara

and got a brown one. Yeah,. Thank you so much. Two ties? I just ran to Zara. I got a beige. How'd you know? I was watching a show on the way over. Wow. See what you guys are talking about. I missed my voice. I have boring talking points. God damn. I have a beige tie. It's not brown. It's actually

beige. Nicky lost his fucking fastball. I don't know. The after party, but some of these people are getting on a bus. Nick included. Yeah, Nicky. I actually might hop on a bus. I might just go home. Yeah?

Fuck it. You're going to split an Uber? You're going to take a four hour drive home? What's the point of staying overnight, waking up at like seven in the morning and going right to the airport? Yeah. I might as well just get shitty on the bus. That's what we did last night.

We drove up. Yeah. It's way better. What time is bus leaving? Right after. Oh, Pepe. Maybe I'll just drive home then. After the show.

After the yak. No, no, no. No one will be hanging out. After the scotch? After. Yeah, you got drunk first. After the yak. After this.

You're just going home. I'm just going to go home. What's the fucking point? Yeah. But you're not angry. There's a mingle period after we're done, right? Yeah, after we're done. No. He might leave and never come point? But you're not angry. There's a mingle period after we're done. He might leave and never come back, but he's not angry. I'm just annoyed that I stayed up so late.

Writing? Yes. Craftsman. Yeah. You're taking your tools out of your hands. You just built a birdhouse. Exactly how late did you stay up? I texted my last screenshot of my jokes to Nick and Francis.

Can you read one? Can we hear some of them? No, do not read one. Can we hear a couple? Can we read one? No. Please. How many jokes?

I've got one in mind. It was at 2.48 a.m. Can I have one joke? No. Weren't you going to be up at 2.48 a.m. anyway? No. I feel like you keep late hours. One joke?

Give him one joke. Can I have one joke? I'll let you do one, but I'm not going to read it right now. Let him do one right now. Let him do it right now. No, that's crazy. He needs to be in front of a live audience. It is crazy.

A yak? 10,000 people are watching right now. Best audience. I'm going to have to do the cadence. You're going to have to get the cadence down. It is all about the cadence time in case. Word for word. Let him start practicing, though.

Yeah, when we go buy suits after this, I'll give you a run at them. Are you coming with me? I've got to get a white shirt. I'll buy you a suit. them. Are you going with me? I got to get a white shirt. I'll buy you a suit. I don't need you to buy me a suit. I have a suit. I know you're down. He is flush with cash.

I know you're down. I'll buy you a suit. Hell no. You want me to buy you a suit? He's down. Buy him a suit. Go to Joe's Heavy Bank. Buy him something big.

Hear me out. Buy him a suit. Buy him three suits. I'm matching suits, me and you. Come on. Yeah, buy me another suit for the next Barstool anniversary. He's going to be reading your jokes. I'm not going to be presenting for the next Barstool anniversary. He's going to be reading your jokes that I've been presenting for.

The 40th anniversary. Oh, I don't like seeing you down like this. I do. I'm not down. Yeah, I know. You're loving this. I like a little fire in my boy's belly. Well, I was just ready to go up tonight, you know?

And now I've got no stage time. Passive sass does nothing for anybody. That's how I know you were born with a silver fucking spoon. Are they serving dinner? Left and right. I don't know. What are we doing? You got cut weeks in advance.

I got like callous and chains. Still cut. I have shit cut all the time. I would have been fine if I got cut weeks in advance. It's the day of. Are they serving dinner tonight? Does anyone know?

They are? Stanko, are they serving dinner? Stanko, what the fuck? We're sitting at a table. There's no way that they're serving

a callous style dinner. They're not allowed to say if they're serving food or not. We might spoil it. We might tweet and spoil it. Buy the pay-per-view, though, to see if we're eating dinner. Damn, Roman got the chicken? Yeah, I'm gonna be buying that. You know I'm getting the fish. It's all part of that sweet

surprise. Then we'll get in trouble for not promoing. Yeah. I got raked over the coals for saying it, for trying just a little bit to promo. I wasn't saying it for me. I wasn't saying who was in the show for me. I was saying it because I was trying to sell the show weeks ago. Oh, so they want it secret.

Yes. The email says important. Don't say a word. I did my promo today, and I said, here's a link for something. Is that what you said? Yeah. That's literally what you said? I just go, this is a link.

I don't really know what it's for. I won't fucking be there. It's like spending $10 on a scratch-off. It's a real mystery. Even homeless people are like, I need this money for booze and drugs. Like, they're not even saying what they need the money for. They need our $10. Here's the link.

TJ, you want to spin the wheel? I'm just a girl tomorrow reminder tomorrow is the tj hitchings uh sorry tim hitchings root beer challenge great yak we're just hanging out while he was chugging root beer that's about an hour and a half this is the last yeah two hours oh my well until i i think we said at the end of the case race but so tomorrow tim hitchings, Friday case race. Last week, August, off because people are moving. Tuesday after Labor Day, we booked a very special guest. Don't know how we did it.

Ronan Sass is going to be on doing our fantasy football draft. Is that the next show? That's the next show? Yeah. You're never breaking up with us. So, they'll be in Chicago for Tuesday tuesday and wednesday we're gonna do fantasy draft tuesday data day wednesday i'm excited for data day one of my favorite days oh it's getting close it's elite i hope chay is locked in he's not here right now he's not

locked the fuck well we read his thread yeah the worst thread that's ever don't even read it it's so bad has he tweeted since he's literally wife's probably unpacking boxes, like wrangling two children, and he's hunched on a Mattel table writing a fucking Twitter thread. Well, his goal today was to drive six and a half hours of the 12, or the 13 hours. And he got 10 hours of sleep. Yeah. I would just bang the whole thing out. Yeah, basically.

I only got 10 hours of sleep. Sass didn't get ten minutes last night. He's a tortured artist. Damn. Got circles under his eyes. What is down hard? So fucking tired. You should fall asleep during the reward show.

Like, Sass wanted to stay up, but you guys made him mind jokes. And the fact that you're going to be drunk, too. You're the most talkative drunk on earth. So the fact that you're drunk and you're going to be drunk for the show and won't be able to talk is like... I'm probably not going to drink. Oriental water torture. Did you really think you didn't talk a lot during the case race?

No, I knew I talked. I just didn't think I was causing the goddamn scene. I didn't have like a line this time. Oh, that's Friday. Right? I didn't have like a go-to line. No, I don't think so. I think i was more just egging on brandon yeah yeah brandon and rico have an hour of the case that's not getting cut right because i heard that there were rumors after about cutting it no the entire case right no the only thing that got cut was rico just

repeated something brandon didn't say which we could just... You can't repeat something someone didn't say. Right. You make something up that someone said, and you repeat something they said. There's a little argument, but we're fine. What people won't see is what happened post-case race where we saw... I think we talked about this briefly yesterday, but it was like...

I saw... It was like the same sound that he made moments before striking Devlin. Me and Roan were taking a piss in the bathroom. He gets to a certain point. Yeah. It sounds like what they thought. No, no.

I didn't fucking do it. That's pretty fucking good. And Roan had to be like, calm down. It's like a bear charging in the woods. It was crazy. I think my line was, you're grown adults. Yeah, Rowan Cameron was going, you're grown adults. And the best part of this scene is this all happened while we were all standing in the bathroom washing face.

Yeah. Yeah, really scrubbing. And Brandon charged. He charged down the hallway. He didn't go. He was looking to strike. But they caught him in the trap. You get a fast pace charged down the hallway. He didn't go. He was looking to strike. But they caught him in the trap. You get a fast pace charged down the hallway.

It was like an apocalypto when they catch the wild hog. It was one of the craziest sounds I've ever heard. Yeah. Give it to us again. My adrenaline spiked when I heard it because it just brought me back to the Devlin video. It's like in a slaughterhouse when a pig is getting. Yeah. Give us the sound again.

I don't know if I could do it again. I'd like to point out in the Devlin video,'m not the one that made the noise what in the devlin video i'm not the one that made the noise devlin made the noise no you made the noise oh let's watch it i haven't seen this this video in a while i would have how dare you brandon walker is that we don't have to watch this i thought thought we were spinning the wheel. Well, we're going to watch it tonight. That's true. Why would you do this? How dare you, Brandon Walker? Now, wait just a minute.

I will never put you in a swipe up again. You haven't been in a swipe up again, have you? Probably not. Millions of times. But you did make a sound. You went, no, fuck you. Yeah, that's a sound. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a sound. Who else else is gonna get it from sass now come on give me something hot crosshair catch the dick you give me a little respect for nick if you respect me you'd shit on me right now i love you sass you got anything for gaz i love you brother no gas so it was whitney that cut cut sass? Yeah, this is my brother. Yeah, wait, wait, wait. Can we get sass back in the mix? No, I don't want to be anymore. Genuinely, I don't.

Because now I've hyped it up too much. My jokes are going to all bomb. That would be crazy. Get him in the mix. Let's get him an award. Want to take a look at the award list? And then you can decide who to get bumped. Can we look at the award list? I don't want to bump anybody.

Some people have multiple bites at the apple. Yeah, I think Francis has like 10 minutes. Who's presenting? Give us some of the presenters. No, you're not allowed to say, I thought. I'll say it. Give us a couple of presenters you think could get cut for Sass. That could get cut?

Jersey Jerry. Jersey Jerry's presenting? Of of course what a legend jersey everyone's gonna go up and everyone's gonna do this none of these people are gonna write anything they're just gonna go and go um i get wait what is the oh the next award is fattest dude at the office people you're the only person that writes jokes at the company. No. The Jews get a to-do in the water. Oh, my God. Tico's going up? Okay, if that was the case, that would actually be well worth it. Yeah.

Francis. Long killing. Let's check in on Che. Not a ton of cuts, but... Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Was it my rates are too high? They couldn't afford me?

That's got to be it. Yeah, that's probably what it is. Because I'm charging like a rack a minute these days. Not bad. Yeah. No one from... Yeah, some of the major podcasts don't have people announcing. So, yeah, it's fine.

You'd be in good company sitting on the. Yeah. What's going to be the layout? Are people coming from the ground? How long is it going to take people to get to the stage? No, they're. The date point. My bat phone's calling right now.

Uh-oh. He's a different ringtone. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut the whole thing down. It was, like, way too cheery. That was just a text alert? He needs a 90 second text alert.

Tell him to shut the fuck up. Gaz is about to have to kill himself on camera. Alright. You want to spin the wheel on the show? Rowan, are you speaking? We got to go to this meeting. I'll give my jokes to you if you want to do them. Wow.

I wrote, too. Oh, you wrote? Yeah. Of course you did. Wait, should I have written something? I didn't write anything. You want my jokes? Yeah, can you make me jokes?

Don't. Don't give in that easily. Can I have a joke? Yeah. My award is... What is my award? Closest... Closest...

Closest eyes. Closest eyes to each other. Near-death experience. Okay. You can find some good jokes there. Can you write me one? Just one. Yeah, one near-death experience joke.

Just do the Kirk one that you did earlier. It's hilarious. That was a good one. Okay. But you already did it, so... They're not going to's hilarious. Yeah, that was a good one. Okay. But you already did it, so. They're not going to be listening. Yeah, there's going to be no crossover.

Damn, the wheel is wackily shaped right now. Are you guys just bringing it to Chicago as is? Yeah. What are you going to get? A U-Haul for the wheel? Yeah, we got to.

How are you going to bring it out there? What about the shit from part of my takes video? Dude, I mean, have you seen what Billy's done to that? It's a fucking shithole and then he tried to blame he was like well other people have been putting other stuff in here he basically did the i'm it's not my weed i'm carrying from using it as storage pretty much i walked in there and it was just a mess what

does billy have to put in there it reminds me of when i went to frank the tank's old apartment and it's like a beaten path along the floor that you have to walk on that. It reminds me of when I went to Frank the Tank's old apartment and there's like a beaten path along the floor that you have to walk on that everything kind of creeps towards. And Billy, like, he's gonna probably just try to keep it forever and hope people forget about it. Just have it be his office. But they are not going to because someone has

that, like, next week. Oh, really? I thought chicks in the office was taking it. Chicken fry. Oh, okay. That's good. She has two now? We should let Sask go off. She's not even in New York. We should let Sask go off. Doesn't she live in a different state now?

We should let Sask go off. Who was it? What? Yes? Has this person promoted the event yet? Who was it? If you're not promoting the event right now, you're a psychopath. What person were they asking about?

Was it somebody here? It was more broadly. Oh. It was like, what about this? Was it somebody here? Was it somebody on the show? Got it. What about the people who got in trouble for promoting it? What about retweets? What if you're on a show right now that's been promoting it the entire episode for an hour and a half? That's a good point. Really good point.

What are you doing, Zass? Jesus fucking Christ. Can't catch a break. Throw it on Maine. Oh, man. Run it up on Maine. Barstool Awards tonight. Won't be speaking.

Not sure what's going to happen, but make sure you buy tickets. Buy two. What is the link? Or is it in our email? Marshall.tv slash PPV. Not trusting you? They probably changed the link last minute.

Yeah, they just want to see you fail. You confirmed the link with Blattman last night, and they've changed it. It leads to a direct competitor's website. All right. I have a quick shameless plug. Oh, yes, let's do it. Yes, this is an important one. So New Amsterdam Vodka is helping Zero Block 30 fix up a VFW.

So people can go to barstoolsports.com slash winsforwarriors. If you have a VFW post in your community that needs some love, and, like, I don't know if you guys have ever been in one, your community that needs some love and like i don't know if you guys have ever been in one but a lot of them need a lot of love yeah new amsterdam vodka is putting 50 grand towards fixing one up they're doing like an awesome like my bar kind of thing uh along with cbt and you can go to barstoolsports.com slash wins for warriors if you also want to donate to help out and fix this bar up or fix this VFW up, but New Amsterdam Vodka, they came to us

and totally volunteered and wanted to do it, which is awesome. Super cool. Barstoolsports.com. Have they updated other people's... Last time it was Dave that did a huge donation to fix up one in the Philly area.

I tricked him. Now Nav is on board. Yeah, text TJ the link so we fix up one in the Philly area. Oh, yeah, yeah. You tricked him. I tricked him. I tricked him. You pulled a fast one. A little bit. Pulled a fast one. Now Nav is on board. Yeah, text TJ the link so we can throw it in the chat. Awesome. Thank you, guys.

But check it out, barcelsports.com slash winsforwarriors. And huge thanks to New Amsterdam.com. Barcelsports.com slash winsforwarriors. I love it. Oh, you did. You don't have to. I had to say it three goddamn times. I like how they were just talking about a different link over your link,

asking for the veterans. What is he doing? He keeps asking me for the link while she's talking about a link. It was uncool. Well, just get a little sneaky link. Clean up your link etiquette, please, Sass. There's nothing worse than a guy with bad link etiquette. Okay?

Dave just texted Gaz about you. I heard a 45-second. Gaz has a Gaz has a special text chime just for sass just a Dave text about sass you not an engineer

Dave texts yeah what is that you have a just for Dave did you turn that back on two weeks ago no that's all he said

okay that's it's just been going off a lot. All right, yeah. So tomorrow, Tim Hitchings, great episode, Root Beer, Case Race Friday, and then we'll be back the Tuesday after Labor Day with special guest Ronan Sass. Very excited.

Fantasy Football Draft. What are we doing for the Fantasy Football Draft? Watch the show tonight. Do we know what we're doing for the Fantasy Football Draft? We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Are we just drafting? Nah.

No. We're not just drafting. We'll figure it out. Are we just drafting? Nah. No. We're not just drafting. We'll figure it out. We might have to do a food draft simultaneously. I don't know. I think, yeah, you do a food draft with – We assign the foods to the players. I don't know.

You're right. We should do that. Barstool.TV. Go buy the pay-per-view tonight. Also, please help out veterans, Kate's Project, ZBT. Awesome. Go. If you have any money, you can donate.

We really appreciate it. We'll see everyone tomorrow with Tim Hitchings. And tonight, we'll see you guys tonight when you lock in. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye. Bye, bye. We'll be right back. Watch the show tonight.

See you guys tomorrow with my dad. All right, bye.