The Yak - Sas is Opening for Dave Portnoy at MSG | The Yak 5-9-23

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

Nick F. TuraniYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak. Hello. It's a yak. It's a yak. Presented by Roback.

R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Use code yak for 20% off your first purchase. Use code yak today. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies. Best hoodies in the game. Sweatshirts. I want to yell that. Best hoodies in the game.

Your shoes untied. YAK. Promo code YAK at Roback.com. 20% off your first purchase. Hello, everyone. Sass is back. Hell yeah. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Come on. Sass is back. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Come on. Sass is back. All right. Let's start with day one. Okay. Yeah.

So Iceland. Yeah, it was fun. Oh. It was great. It rained the entire time. Okay. It was freezing the entire time, but it was still very fun. And what are you putting out the video?

There was a mix-up in the recording equipment and stuff. Corrupted files. When's your video? Yeah, when are you putting out the video? The UK video. I never went. Never actually went. He's just joking.

It was fun. We didn't catch any fish. You went two fish, right? We only fished two days. How much fishing did you... So two days, how many hours? A lot of hours. A lot of hours? Probably like 16 hours.

You bought a new fishing pole for this trip, right? Yes. We went too early in the season. I was going to say, did you keep fishing at some point? Because you're like, we have to catch something. Did that like keep you going? Like at this point, we have to keep going. So we fished in a river the first day and we like walked the whole river

because we were like waiting so we had we could like we were like in the water yeah and then that one was kind of like so i started kind of feeling crazy because i was like dude i haven't even seen like a living thing not even just like not a fish there's i don't think there's anything alive in this water i think this was like chlorine or some shit and that was kind of when i started getting like i was like i feel like this might be might be too early in the season it's like chlorine or some shit and that was kind of when i started getting like i was like i feel like this might be might be too early in the season it's cold i don't think there's any fish in here and then we went to a lake the next the next time we fished and that was kind of like all right well where the fish are there they can't go anywhere so they're in the water

and might be sleeping they might be sleeping and they were sleeping yeah they were sleepy fish and we we would see like jumps but it was like really out in the middle of the of the water they were sleeping. Yeah. They were sleepy fish. And we would see, like, jumps, but it was, like, really out in the middle of the water. None of them were, like, towards where we were. And then we had fished that whole day. And then by the end of that day, we were, like, walking back, and it started raining. And when it started raining, all the fish started, like, jumping out of the water. And that was when I first saw a fish, and it was big. It was, like, this big. And that was when I first saw a fish, and it was big. It was like this big.

And it was right next to me. And I put my fly right next to the fish, and it just... Like avoided it. Went right around it. So I think it was too early in the season, but I mean, it was still very fun. Did you catch a buzz?

Fishing was still fun. What? Did you catch a buzz? While fishing? Yeah. No. Oh, that's... Too much moving around. If I was on like a buzz? While fishing? Yeah. Oh, that's what you do. Too much moving around. If I was on, like,

a boat, I would've, but it was, we were, like, we were walking a ton, so. What was the most fun part? Hot springs were really cool. Oh, yeah. I was sick. It was, uh, way hotter than I thought it would be. Like, so if you, the further you go up, the further you go up, it's like, dude, it's like burning your

skin off hot. And it closes at a certain point, because it gets to the point where it's like, if you go in here, you go hot it's like dude it's like burning your skin off hot and if it closes at a certain point because it gets to the point where it's like if you go in here you will get burnt so the further you go up we started at like the top of where it's open and that was like really hot like i only went in for like a minute and it was my whole body hurt but then you can just stand it's freezing out and you can just stand outside and with just like a bathing suit on for like 40 minutes until you cool down. It's crazy. And then we went down further.

And then when you go down further, it's more just like a hot tub, which was we stayed there for a bit. Would you go with? Two of my buddies from home. Nice. Yeah. Sounds fun. Yeah, that was super cool. Did you gawk and like experience wonder and awe?

Oh, yeah. Any wonder and awe? The Black Sand Beach was experience wonder and awe oh yeah any wonder and awe the black sand beach was pretty wonder and awe yeah inspiring yeah that was crazy um because we saw the plane the plane wreck and that was like that was like the only thing wait what oh there's like a plane wreck like a u.s navy plane crashed there why do you think we know that already? I thought that was like one of the more famous things about Iceland was the plane wreck. It's like one of the four tourist attacks. That would be...

The plane's still there. That's really depressing. The plane's still there. Rubble. It is an extremely depressing... Number one is plane wreck. Yes. God, did everyone die?

No, everyone lived, actually. Oh, that is cool looking. When did it wreck? That is cool. I think 1973. How the fuck is it still there? Why didn't they... It's in the open. I think that looks awesome. Nobody died. Why is it still there? It's not like a memorial or anything. That is cool. I think 1973. How the fuck is it still there? Why didn't they? In the open.

I think that looks awesome. Nobody died. Why is it still there? It's not like a memorial or anything. It looks cool. I think it's just like an art exhibit. The walk out there is like two miles, but it looks like that the whole time. It's literally just black and nothing.

It's where they filmed Black Mirror a few episodes. Really? Yeah. Yeah. We went to the Black Sand Beach that we went to. That's apparently where they filmed a scene in Game of Thrones oh yeah how did you get to

experience Reykjavik yeah we went to Reykjavik for the first day that was pretty cool going back to the prime rib Reykjavik was cool did you meet any locals yeah

we met a local the first night so we didn't end up we didn't really end up camping as much as we intended on I ended up just getting hotel rooms

every night because I was like, fuck this. I'm not sleeping outside. Oh, really? Yeah. That's kind of how camping usually goes. Oh, it should go. We camped the first night.

And we went to this campsite. And there was like a main area with like Wi-Fi and like showers and stuff. So we went there. Clamping. Yeah. But then you sleep outside. And the place we went there, we met this dude who was like the janitor there and he talked to us for a while

and about 30 minutes in he was like do you guys like Andrew Tate and I pretended I didn't know who he was I was like I feel like I've heard of him and he's like he has a lot of good ideas. German accent.

They all have like, he was Polish. Are they conservative or liberal over there? I think they might be a pretty racist country. Watching from some things, some graffitis that I saw. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Some swastikas? I wish it was swastikas.

That would have been a plus. That would have been better? I mean, what is worse? A lot of slurs and like... What is the ranking? I think only one slur is ahead of a swastika. Yeah. Single slur?

But swastika is kind of in that territory where it's like a kid could have just done that to be like edgy. I think there's going to be a while to learn. I think there's one that is ahead of the swastika in the rankings. Yeah. And it's been dominant. Swastika's number two. It was. We got lost. And we got lost

in a nasty little area where it was everywhere and they were like it was the N word. Painted everywhere. Oh really? And like and it was like in the middle of the town. I've been seeing it in my dreams. We got out of that town quick because it was like unsettling.

It was like, why would they not cover this up? It was like, we took one wrong turn and it was like a mural of it just everywhere. Jesus. Yeah.

But that was in a town, I think it was called Arkans. Arkans. And we got out of there fast. That town sucked. How many people live in Iceland? 300,000. That's it? Small there fast. That town sucked. How many people live in Iceland? 300,000. That's it?

Small as fuck. That's insane. I didn't realize it was that few. They all live in the capital pretty much. Yeah. And there's 700 police officers in the whole country. Really? Yeah.

So we saw one cop the whole time. And that was in a town. I think it was called Selfoss. Selfoss? Dude, the Icelandic language, I think it was called Selfoss. Selfoss? Dude, the Icelandic language, I will say, it's like... Oh, it's confusing as fuck, isn't it? Yeah, do you ever hear someone talk in a different language, and you're like, man, English is so much better than that.

And then you're like, ah, they probably think the same thing about what they're saying. The Icelandic language, that was one that you know, that must be the most unattractive language on Earth. They have town names. It's all throat. They're saying. Right. The Icelandic language, that was one that you know, like, that must be the most unattractive language on Earth. They have town, like, names. It's all throat.

So long. They're on a sign, like, insane letters. Yeah. It's all just like, it's intimidating. It's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, English has to be on the top of the list of not good sounding languages, right? I don't think we're very neutral.

I don't think we're neutral. Like French. Wait. French, Italian. I think Dutch is gross. Danish is gross. Dude, but I feel like we talk slower. The Icelandic, whatever.

I'm assuming. What is the language called? Icelandic, yeah. Can I hear it what is the language called? Icelandic, yeah. Can I hear it, TJ? It's just nonstop. Like, to say one word, there's like 15 words. Doing the most. And everyone speaks English, though?

Yeah, everyone speaks English. I wonder what English, like, I bet you people think that we sound terrible. Yeah. I think he's right that we sound terrible. Yeah. I think he's right. I think we're neutral. Really? There's a guy who does what it would sound like to other people. Like if you wouldn't speak English, what does English sound like?

We hear that? Yeah. I want to find that. Again, we're biased because that's normal to us. So I don't know how other people see it. A German guy was offering me blow in London, and it was like the meanest anybody's ever normal to us. So I don't know how other people see it. A German guy was offering me blow in London and it was like the meanest anybody's ever been to me, it sounded like.

Is there a comedy scene? I only know the word for yes. Like a hello, but a hello with an R sound. See, throat. It's all in the throat. Hello. You can't go a little bit more fancy than that. And you can say, godan dag. Good day.

Godan dag. In Icelandic, we make no distinction between morning and afternoon in this sense. So godan dag will work throughout the entire day. The day is quite short at the moment. But this is basically something that you would catch me to say. The day being short there means that it's only late for 20 hours. In the evenings, you would say good evening, which is goth kvult. Goth kvult.

How cool. He's saying one word. In the winter, it's not light very long, right? No, I think it still is. I think it's just not as it's not. No, but they have darkness, too. Yeah, it's not light for, like, at all during the winter. Really?

Yeah. That's how. You sure? I mean, that's. In the summer, they get winter. Really? Yeah. That's how. You sure? I mean, that's. In the summer, they get daylight. That's how it works. Like Alaska. I think it's just not light as long as it usually is.

No, they don't get hardly light. What's the shortest day in Iceland? It's got to be a couple hours. You get Arctic winters for. Really? I didn't know that. It's like Alaska. When we were there, it gets dark around 11, which honestly I fucking loved.

It was awesome. Yeah. The day is longer. What time did it get, what time did the sun come up? Probably normal, five, six, maybe. I guess it is getting towards summer. Yeah. Huh.

But I liked that aspect a lot because you'd be like drinking and it'd still be light out the whole time. Yeah. It was awesome. You could, four hours and seven minutes, damn. That's terrible. I did not know that. Yeah. like you'd be like drinking and it'd still be light out the whole time yeah you could four hours and seven minutes that's terrible i did not know that yeah it's just depressing it's all i need it's a very it's a very depressing country yeah like going and visiting it's awesome because you're like this is sick i've never seen anything like this in my life but then you talk

to people that live there and they're like this fucking anything like this in my life. But then you talk to people that live there, and they're like, this fucking sucks. This country blows. We were checking into our hotel the last night, and we were like, it's just a simple, oh, hey, how are you doing? Not great. Like, everyone would have the same answer. They'd be like, it's been raining for the last five months straight, so not great. Oh, shit. And the lady was like, it'll get better hopefully what i feel like we only hear about

iceland when it's like a volcano or like a bank is like yeah yeah dude the liquor stores it's all controlled by the government so they're open the hours are terrible they close it like at whatever 13 or whatever the fuck they call it over there. Fuck it into this. And it's all... It's a fact too. Yeah. We went to Vic the last night, and Vic, the liquor store, was inside of the police station. Oh.

Yeah, because it's all government controlled. I feel like when it gets dark like that, you know all your people are going to do is just booze. Oh, yeah. Their lives away, right? I don't know yeah that sounds and they drink heavy like when we were the first night we were there we were at that campsite and it was like there's like a staff at the campsite and there was a staff party and we like went to the staff party and they were like we're gonna be here until noon if you guys wake up and you want to drink more and we were like absolutely not

and they kept on dude it was like there was to drink more. And we were like, absolutely not. And they kept on doing it. There was like five people there. And they were like, this is the best night of my life. They were like, there's way more people coming. And then one person showed up and they were like... Did you see any attractive people? I was just going to ask, what's the lady situation?

A lot of the girls very like Joe Rogan's type of girl. Did any of your boys get pussy? Jacked. Muscular. Joe Rogan likes jacked girls. Yeah. That's more A-Rod's thing.

Is it? A-Rod likes muscular women, yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. Nice to work out with them. Oh, yeah. It's expensive as hell. Everything there is expensive.

Yeah, just getting stuff out there. You'd be like, you go get a beer, and they don't tell you in US dollars or euros. They're like, you'll go get a beer, and they're like, all right, that's going to be $20,640. You're like, what? What is their currency? It's like ISK, ISK. More like OSK. But dude, we went to a hostel.

We stayed at a hostel one night. And the hostel was great. It was pretty much like a hotel. But a lot of the hotels are self-check-in, which is awesome. Yeah. You just get a code and you just enter it in and you get your key. And there was a trip. It must have been a field trip happening there.

We were cooking dinner in the kitchen area. And these kids, it was a group of like maybe 20 kids and i've never experienced sound like this and like the loudest talk like just talking but like screaming and randomly they would just abrupt and they'd all start clapping you'd be like dude what the hell is going on over there and And you'd lose your mind. Did you do any comedy sets? No. Why? I've done it. I have like one comedy club. We didn't really go to Reykjavik

much. We went there for like a couple hours. I would love to hear an Icelandic comedy show though. Yeah. Like if everyone's depressed and there's only one club in the whole country. There's a club. It's called the Secret Cellar. And I looked it up and the first picture that comes up is Bill Burr, like a young Bill Burr performing there. Wow.

That's cool. I'm trying to think. About what? Like who? Iceland shit. I'm trying to think of what else we did that was... It's just a volcano blew up. Remember all the flights?

There's a lot of active volcanoes. Yeah, the flights got fucked up. Oh, I forgot about it. Yeah, yeah. And then the bank. Yeah. Bank went under, right? You had to fly around them forever, right?

Yeah. I don't remember the bank, though. Wasn't there a bank? I remember the women's soccer team scored four. Or maybe that was New Zealand. Was it the men's soccer team? Or was that? Yeah, no, that was when they did the claps, right?

No? Who scored on themselves, like, four times? Oh, yeah. And then the Barstool account tweeted it. Yeah, like, that is news. was when they did the claps, right? No? Who scored on themselves like four times? Oh, yeah. And then the Barstool account tweeted it. That is news. And they were just like, this is the only time you post women's sports.

Yeah. It's the only place this happens. A country of 300,000 people, their sports teams, their national sports teams have to suck. I think soccer is pretty huge out there. It did make the world do a lot. Oh, powerlifting. Powerlifting.

Who's the most famous Icelandic person? Ooh. Of Monsters and Men? Dude, that dudelifting. Powerlifting. Who's the most famous Icelandic person? Who? Is it the Mountain? Of Monsters and Men. Dude, that dude, Cali Cali. Band? They're from Iceland. I love them.

Really? They were hot in 2003. Yeah. I like them too. What band? Of Monsters and Men. Isn't there a bunch of, isn't there a music hall in the Walter Mitty? They have a lot of good songs.

Isn't it like Gautier? Gautier. Somebody that I used to know. Wasn't that? Look at those names. York. Oh, of course. You don't know Bjork? I don't know anything sheautier? Somebody that I used to know. Wasn't that? Bjork? Those names. Bjork. Oh, of course. You don't know Bjork?

I don't know anything she sings. That's why I said of course. This is The Mountain from Game of Thrones. The Swan. Oh. Half-Thior Bjorn Jensen. I think he just had a devastating injury. They did make the World Cup, right?

I think the not this most recent one, the one before. What happened to The mountain, TJ? He was trying to break the bench press world record, and he blew his pec out. Jesus. He's been having bad luck, because half his face was paralyzed for a while. Got to be from steroids.

Bench press world record? Yeah, he's like a very, very high-level competitive power. Is he a 5'2 meatball, one of those? What is the bench press world record? Oh, shit. Like around 1,000 pounds or something like that. How is it? Have you seen him standing next to his girlfriend?

Can we watch him blow his peck out? Have you ever seen someone blow their peck out? I don't want to see it. I haven't seen it. Make a noise. It sounds like a tire blow. It shoots. I want to watch it so bad now.

It happened to Cody Rhodes and it got all fucking disgusting., I want to watch it so bad now. It happened to Cody Rhodes and it got all fucking disgusting. I really want to watch it now. It's usually, I think it's usually from steroids that people blow their peck at.

World record's 1,300 pounds. Jesus. I bet 1,300 pounds. Jesus Christ. Christ. That's insane. Holy shit. Is the world record deadlift

only like 1,200? You see, the big bench press guys are always super short and super fat. This guy's damn near eight feet tall. But I bet that's insane.

I wonder if the form they use for the world record, it's probably they go, they do this super wide where you just get up to like your nose. Yeah, pussies. But he's not. Barely lifting it. That one is not actually that tall, right? Yes. That one's like 6'5", and they made him look that tall. Oh, I think he's big.

We have video of him blowing it out? Why do you want to see this so bad? I just want to. Oh. Oh, no. No, I don't want to see. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, you just can't tell.

But he knew right away. Oh, you can hear it. You can hear it. You can hear it. Yep. Oh. Oh. Oh, damn.

That is foul. Oh, that's a rip. That's a big rip. Damn. That hurts so much. Oh, damn. That is foul. Oh, that's a rip. That's a big rip. Damn. That hurts so much. Oh, God. Shouldn't lift all that weight. You really shouldn't.

Nothing good coming out of it. Look at ants have teeny tiny little arms, but they lift like triple their weight. I think it's 10X, right? Aren't ants the original Grant Cardone? How does that work? They don't have muscles. I think isn't the strongest living creature in the world like a beetle? Yeah.

They can lift like a thousand pounds. Oh, yeah. That's exactly what Cody Rhodes looked like. I know. Oh, no. That was last year. That's not even a deep cut. Okay.

All right. He got it before you did. Not really. We were talking about blown pecs. Yeah. Yeah. And Nick was like, this is like wrestling, my favorite sport. I'm wearing a Hacksaw Jim Duggan shirt.

It's a nice shirt. I actually complimented you privately. You never compliment me. I always compliment you. And you complimented me like that. You saw me the first thing. You said, I actually like that shirt. Yeah.

Who says actually in a compliment? Well, because it was based off your shirt yesterday. I didn't like that one as much. No. So I like this one. Good job, Brandon. Thank you. I compliment you so much.

Every time you're like, I'm having an anxiety attack. When do I do that? Every other day. I've never said the words anxiety attack in my life. Yeah, you're like, i'm just um things have gotten too much i'm beaten down burnout and i pump you up sure i do with that i love you i'm sure i'm not going to chicago this week oh so you're gonna see dave i'm having driver's license issues the song i'm gonna be able to be able to get on a plane.

What do you mean? Use your passport. That's what I do. I don't have a passport. Come on. What? I've never had a passport. That's stupid, Nick.

It's hard. Yeah, I've never had a passport. It's a whole bitch. Wait, what is your driver's license? It's expired? You can use an expired license. It's expired April 13th. How am I going to rent a car?

Uber. I can't Uber to where my house is. Did we miss your birthday? Yeah, you missed my birthday. When was it? I wasn't here. Oh, that doesn't count. It was miss your birthday? Yeah, you missed my birthday. When was it? I wasn't here. Oh, that doesn't count. It was April 13th.

Oh, we did a case race. Yeah, we did a case race. Yeah, you did the case race on my birthday, but you never mentioned my birthday. Every day we called you, didn't we? Yeah, but you just called me. Oh, maybe you did say hi. Called you for your birthday. Yeah, fact.

So it expired. Expired April 13th. I renewed it online April 5th They just never sent it to me I never got it And now you can print out a temporary That says hey I sent in for this But it expired too

So I just don't have proof I don't have a driver's license You don't have a passport Just go to the DMV They'll give it to you that day Not in New Jersey, buddy. Why? It sucks.

It will not print out. They do not print licenses. They mail them. You can go there, get your picture taken. They will mail it to you. That sucks. You could get on a plane without a license. I can't rent a car without one.

Oh. That's a good point. And I'm not 100% sure I can get on a plane without one. No, you can't. Yeah, you can't. I've done it. It's a massive pain in the ass, though. It makes you basically just go through an extended check.

All right. Do everything. Yeah. They put their finger in your butt. Yeah. Cool. Yep, it's you. That feels like Brandon Walker.

That tight ass. That's him. Stuck in there. He didn't moan. This isn't Brandon. Put him under a sun lamp. Watch him get a migraine. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We got him.

Go ahead. You're clear. 15 seconds. You would leave your moms out to die? What? Baby sis tweeted that your mom wouldn't want you ever taking care of her. You would lock her in a room

and not feed her. Hold on. Your sister tweeted that and along the lines i paraphrased boy i what she went viral i didn't even see it i don't i don't follow my sister on twitter all right that's kind of that's good i would take care of my mom yeah just i just needed you to say that oh would you yeah send her money my mom just called. I just needed you to say that. Oh. Would you? Yeah, send her money. My mom just called me out of nowhere and goes, promise me when I'm old you'll take care of me. I don't trust Brandon. He'll probably just lock me in a house and throw me food every so often.

She's not wrong. Whoa. Throw you food. Yeah, throw her some money and food. I mean, hmm. Is that very wrong? I wouldn't say it's very wrong. I'd make sure she was taken care of.

Right. Yeah. You would make sure. There would be an element of locking her in. I'm not going to check on her every day. Right. Anyone have Katie stats coming down to take care of her? Anyone have her living in the poo box for a book?

Yeah, Katie Satt's showing up. Brandon wanted me to ask if you're okay. I got to call my mom. Yeah, it sounds like you had to call her a while ago. Oh, smart enough for her to get that on record. Fair enough. Yeah. At least now we know.

Maybe you should follow your sister. Get out ahead of this. I do, but she doesn't tweet much, so I never really see it. You going to get your mom anything for Mother's Day? Sneaking up? Sunday. I got her some. You're a jet ski.

Oh, yeah. I got her hummingbird feeders last year. That's nice. I might get her some more hummingbird feeders. Why don't you buy her a butterfly bush? Or a jet ski and a squat rack. What about one of those Elon Musk flamethrowers? Yeah.

Buy her a flamethrower. You see there's a fake Elon Musk tricking the Chinese people. What? Oh. How so? I just saw the headline. I'd never get faked by a fake Elon Musk.

You're not Chinese. want to act like I don't care about Mother's Day but I do expect some things I expect a lot let's do a case race yeah that'd be lovely yeah

Mother's Day you gotta step up Mother's Day, you got to step up. Mother's Day, I just want to sleep in. But Mother's Day, at this point in my life, is more about my wife than it is about my mom. Of course. So, like, I got to focus on my wife. And then I'll get my mom. I'll probably call my mom on Thursday or Friday and say, all right, what do you want? And she'll tell me, and I'll just go online, order it, and send it to her.

That's how I handle mothers. I'm going to call her today. Huh? Call her today. No, I'm not going to call her today, but I... You can't do phone calls on this show anymore. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. We're not... Oh. I mean, I'll tell her we're live. Yeah. Thank you for everyone who re-watched the act when it was uploaded yesterday. Yeah. We're not going to do phone calls anymore.

Tommy got some very mean texts. I was going to jail. Tommy's going to jail for a max five years. For a very long time. It's just so perfect that it happened to Tommy. The worst person.

He would do the worst in prison out of anybody in this office. He just does the worst with pressure. He was texting me and I was like, I don't think this is

that big of a deal. He was showing, I was sitting next to him when it was happening. I was like, dude, Big Cat is the problem solver. Text him. You didn't see it. I was like, ah. I think I actually said to him, I was like,

well, I told you to hang up. Tommy sent the text. He was like, oh my god, am I going to get sued? And you just said, not good. He probably did truly believe he could go to jail. Tommy does think he's going to jail and then they had their show come out yesterday the Please End This show

and he was making fun of Chet Hanks in it I need that beef to happen that's a beef I didn't see coming ever in life Tommy smokes Chet Hanks I said to everyone on the chat last night,

like, I just miss the days when we used to prank call Lenny Dykstra, and he would just be like, I'm going to fucking find you guys and kill you. Well, who sent the video to the... That was normal. Yeah. I feel like he showed up, didn't he? Yeah, with a gun.

He got duped by a fake Dave online. Yeah. There was an account, Stool Presidente, with a Z, seven followers, and he DM'd Lenny being like, hey, come to the office. He just walked off the fucking elevator in the middle of a rundown with a suitcase being like, I'm here. He had his piece on him. I was there for an intern interview.

Then? That was the day I went. Wait. You tried to become an intern first? Yeah. I was 24. But then you got hired right away. No.

A year and a half later. Oh, so you got denied being an intern? Kind of. Damn. They invited me back for a second interview, and I thought I was just... You quit on it? I realized I couldn't afford to be an intern. I mean,

people forget Big Ev got hired because he got duped. That was immediately after. I was like, fuck, I gotta get hired. Remember when that dude duped Frank and made a fake account with my name and texted him and said, come to the app? Yeah. Yeah. You think we can get him again?

I like Frank today, is he? Oh, he's a nice guy. Devil's game. I've seen him. Oh, yeah. He's got to go to the Devil's game. Damn shame. Yeah.

Big time Devil's game. It's good to have you back, Sass. Yeah, I'm happy to be back. I'm kind of tired, a little sleepy. How happy are you that you're not withdrawn on the most dangerous game right now? Because you were on it last year. Yeah, I mean, they're doing it in a better place. Apparently it's fucking freezing.

It's freezing cold. 30 degrees. Which sucks. I've heard some very funny things come out of that already. I've heard something very funny. Ferociously funny. I haven't heard much. I haven't either.

I haven't either. I haven't either. But it sounds like it's going to be good. You're above the fray. I'm below it. That's probably what it is. That's exactly what it is. Only text me when they're about to get sued. Yeah.

You're too big and nobody talks to me. I was texting Roan that they should have had Billy go out in like a brown bear outfit. Rustle some tents in the middle of the night. Done it. He would have loved to do it. And Che's out again sick. He has on the prep sheet today,

what is the longest something has ever been in your fridge and what was it? I don't know what's going on in his life house he's down bad i think he got is he has he been losing his picks uh he won last night but yeah he has been cold but he's sick and staring at a fridge uh can i i mean i don't want to be this guy but there's one I've got to ask on here. Yeah. If you were faster than Usain Bolt but weren't Olympic famous, how often would you bust that out on the street? That's actually a good question. You'd be Olympic famous, and also all the time. No, but let's say you weren't in the Olympics.

You had a massive fear of – Are you not aware that you're that fast? You know you're that fast. That's one of his best questions. Yeah. I don't know if there's ever an appropriate occasion. Right, because it's like, oh, you want to race? I'd try to race somebody in a bar.

But if you're faster than Usain Bolt, you're obviously racing regularly, right? You got to be. Just the hype that you have, that skill. Yeah, I would try to get into flag football, ultimate frisbee. Stealing. I would try to get into, like, a flag football, like, ultimate frisbee. Stealing. How much of Usain Bolt's speed do you think comes from training and natural skill? He's got the build, but probably too natural. Yeah, probably a lot of training.

I mean, it's natural to be—he's fast naturally, but to be, like, the fastest— If you pick up what he's putting down. What would be the most discreet way to challenge a person to a foot race? Who do you think he's thinking about challenging to a foot race? Another good question. What's the most discreet? I think organizing a football game works, but I guess that's why we need to just organize a race.

What sport runs sprints for the longest besides track? Football does, so receivers. 100-yard max. In the wheel and see who has to go out on the street and challenge someone to a race. besides track. Football does. So receivers. 100 yard max. In the wheel and see who has to go out on the street and challenge someone to a race.

I think I'd be decent. I could not. I'm not fast. I'd basically do that. Well, no, you don't have to win the race. I'm so goddamn slow. Yeah, me too.

I'm terrible. I would tear a hamstring. Well, the wheel will decide. I think I have a spider bite too. Where? Where? You can't just start coming up with a bunch

of injuries when we're going to try to do something fun. You can't race with a spider bite. What's in New Jersey that would... All you have to do is go out with your phone and get one person... I don't want to race anybody. I don't know. That is the bacon kid right there. No, you cannot take off bacon.

Yeah, what did he say? He was funny. I don't like these rules. Oh, yeah. The house. You are the bacon kid. I don't want to race anybody. You didn't get paid to do that?

Wife swap? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Did anybody fuck? Anybody ever fuck? Oh. That's a natural question.

Jay won four of his last picks. His last four in a row? He said four of his last five. Well, that's not four in a row. Yeah, ask him what happened before that. Yeah, he lost five in a row. He's listening. How were you in your last 10?

11. Last 11. Didn't he lose his last five or lost five in a row to start? Yeah. It's more about winning your first pick. Did anybody fuck on my flop? Oh. Probably.

I'm going to say yes. Have to. Have to. Maybe you should start putting out picks. Ooh. Ooh. What sport needs Needs picks Baseball season

WNBA WNBA If you like actually Watched and Followed it Like you You probably could do pretty well Somebody could figure that out

It's very chalky Esports Esports. Esports. That's a lane. People bet on that? That's a good. We have it in Jersey.

And people will think you're good if you win your debut. God. Always. Also, people won't ever check to see if you won or not. Yeah, people will think you're good if you just say you're good. Yeah. If you just give a pick, I assume you're good because you know the names. It's not a flashy video. Win your debut.

People will like it. The debut is huge. The debut is everything. 04 Judgment Day. Mordecai beats Scotty 2 Hottie. Really? You know a lot about wrestling. A lot. Encyclopedia. Yeah, it just sticks

with me. Scotty 2 Hottie was still wrestling in 04? Maybe I made that up. You want a fact check? I said fact check. You have something. You might get him. You might get me. 2004 Judgment Day, Mordecai's debut.

Probably beat Scotty Tuhati. I'm going to check. Yeah, of course. You're checking. Brandon, I'm not perfect. This actually counts as a challenge by you. Good chance I could be wrong. Judgment Day card.

I'm checking, by the way. So the card was Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam against the Dudley Boys. Don Marie against Tori Wilson. Scotty Tuhati against Mordecai. All right, one challenge used. Failed. That certainly wasn't his debut, though, was it? Was it Mordecai's debut?

Mordecai was Heaven Thorn. Yeah. All right. Was it his debut? Brandon, was it? I think it was. Probably. That's how I remember it.

It says it right there. He debuted in-ring. Ohper-view he just dominated you there lucky guess okay but why would you why did you how did you even look that up why would you know that i've been just researching every single night is this for trivia no i want to be the wrestling guy and it's really easy. That seems like it. You think you should be it? It's a lot like Pokemon.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. These characters go to battle. Yeah. How many hours a night are you working on wrestling? I found a few YouTube accounts, and I just fall asleep to them. So Nick is our wrestling expert. I don't think he's there yet.

I'm getting there quick. You didn't know that Scotty Chuhani lost to Mordecai. No, I wasn't watching 2004 Judgment Day. I was. Nick was. Yeah, Nick. Why weren't you watching? It's the main event.

Don't know yet. Didn't get there yet. I just started, brother. You're going to have no identity by the time I'm done with you. Yeah. Yeah, he's going to have no identity by the time I'm done with you. Yeah. Yeah, he's going to steal your life. I think you know my end goal. Uh-huh.

Stripped of all of your traits and assets, forced to derive joy from your own family members. Nick's got that new license in his wallet. Come on, I'll show you guys the house. This is where we're locking up mother. He's got you. No, it's fine. And I can't get back at him

because I tried for half a day to do the Pokemon. You couldn't do it? I just, no. You didn't like it? I couldn't get through all that. Everything is no, I couldn't do that. Everything's a what? There are hard names to remember. Yeah.

Squirtle. That's that. Charizard. Yeah, very good guys. Pikachu. No, I want everybody. I think we should all have our interests. Snorlax.

Snorlax? Yeah. Sleeps. Snorlax is a good one. Kirby? Michelangelo. The one I mispronounced. Poliwag.

Yep. Wait, Kirby's a Pokemon? No, I don't think so. Kirby ain't no Pokemon. He's confused with Jigglypuff a lot. Ooh. I like Kirby, though. I love Kirby.

Kirby was my go-to in Smash. Kirby's awesome. Great video. You were spamming the rock down B. Yeah. And you can just float up with him And then you can also Inhale the people

Yeah Smash is the Number one video game That makes me feel really old Cause it It's hard The action goes way too fast I can't keep up with it

Too fast It's a hard game Smash Brothers Yeah I never liked it I just jammed the button Smash the button Especially if you play with people

That know how to play And not people who just I don't know how you learn how to play Like it's None of None of the on screen action Makes sense It's just It's just chaos Have you ever seen the button, smash the button. Especially if you play with people that know how to play. I don't know how you learn how to play. None of the on-screen action makes sense. It's just chaos. Have you ever seen somebody unleash the wombo combo? No.

Somebody unleashed a wombo combo in a tournament and everybody started screaming about the wombo combo. DJ, you remember that? What is it? Brother, do I remember that? The wombo combo. Wombo combo. What does a wombo combo look like? It's got 20 million views on YouTube

Yeah Can I see it? Can we see it? Wombo combo is one of the hardest things to do Yeah, it's where you basically juggle the guy back and forth with your partner Uh-huh Alright, when does it start? Nerdy black eyes are so nice at Smash Bros

Happy feet Wombo combo That ain't Falco That ain't Falco Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Nerdy black guys are so nice at Smash Bros. Happy feet. Wombo combo. That ain't Falco. That ain't Falco. Who Could you break this down for us TJ I know the wombo combo This game is not for you Where's the wombo combo When does it start Hear them They'll say wombo Fox and Captain Falcon

Are basically throwing back The other fox Throw it like Throwing it up in the air Kicking at each other But that just seemed like The green guys at one They did that like three times

The wombo It wasn't like They juggled him They didn't let him Touch the ground As soon as he starts Now like he's off the ground the rest of the game, and then he's dead.

Wow. Is that the only time they say wombo combo? It's like, yeah, nobody plays doubles. Has anyone else ever done a wombo combo? I mean, that's the most famous wombo combo. For sure. Is there any wombo combo compilations, TJ? Are there any failed wombo combos?

Oh, those are embarrassing. There's definitely a lot of failed ones. You do not want to fail the wombo combo. It's a ballsy move already. Yeah, even attempting it. The level of skill you have to be able to even just come up with the idea to attempt the wombo combo. You just hear us talking wombo combo. attempt the wombo combo? You just hear us talking wombo combo? Someone say wombo combo?

We're just talking wombo? You know wombo combo? Yeah. Wombo combo sounds like a meal if they would have it, like Burger King. It's definitely a Hardee's thing. No, it's a Taco Bell, like Pizza Hut combined restaurant. I'll take the wombo combo.

If you guys could swing on vines and run around on branches like Tarzan, would you go barefoot or would you prefer to wear sneakers? Sneakers. That's a real question that Steven asked? If you could swing on vines and run around on branches like Tarzan,

would you go barefoot or would you prefer to wear sneakers? Shoes. Barefoot. Barefoot, yes. Oh, yeah. You want that clarity. That's a great question. I'd like to go barefoot right would you prefer to wear sneakers? Shoes. Barefoot. Barefoot, yes. Oh, yeah. That's a great question. I'd like to go barefoot right now.

I got the wide toes. Do it. I hate wearing shoes. Do it. I was a big barefoot boy. I won't. Yes, you will. And you know you will.

I promise I won't hide your shoes. Well, then Nick will or Sass will. Somebody will hide. I don't prank you. You think I'm hiding shoes right now? Actually, you wouldn't hide my shoes. You would just take them and do something with them. No, I won't do anything with your shoes. I won't touch your shoes. I would set them aflame. I won I'm hiding shoes right now? Actually, you wouldn't hide my shoes. You would just take them and do something with them. No, I won't do anything with your shoes.

I won't touch your shoes. I would set them aflame. I won't touch your shoes. I just want to see those feet. I do have good wrestling socks on today. Let me see. Nick, who is Razor Ramon? Come on now, Scott Hall.

Rest in peace. That's easy. But he got it before you. You didn't even know it. You didn't even know it. You didn't even know it. Scott Hall is Razor Ramon. Probably thought he died.

I know who it is now, too. His debut in 1992. Easy to know it now. Nick helped us. He wrestled there until 1996, and then he became Scott Hall in WCW. Came back in 2002. Wrestled at WrestleMania 19 against Stone Cold Steve Austin.

18. Fuck! Oh, damn. Watching the downfall of a man. Sheesh. Why don't you take off the shoes? Why don't you take the rest of the day off, honestly? It makes me feel better.

Home and think. Tough times don't last. Tough people do. That's not what he said. Hard times don't last. That's not. Mm-hmm. That's not what he said. Hard times don't last. That's not what he said either. Difficult times are difficult. Hard work pays off.

Dreams come true. Bad times don't last. But bad guys do. Bad guys do. That's what he said. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. That was Hulk Hogan.

Yeah, it was. It's like the most recent famous quote. Ooh. We have compromised Osama bin Laden. Oh, yeah. Cena. Yeah. No, it's got to be something Trump said in the last few years.

It's a little bit of trolling. Not infamous. Famous. Like Kardashian quotes. Like, there's people that are dying, Kim. Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah, what is like, but yeah, what's the most, because you have like, you know, there's nothing to fear but fear itself.

Remember by the pussy? Something like that. Yeah. That was an old quote. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, why the buddy pregnant's pretty good. Yeah, that's the most, that might be the best quote. That one runs through my head constantly. People, yeah, it feels like people aren't making quotes like they used to. People used to go about their day in anticipation of delivering a quote. Quote, yeah.

Fake news is a big one. That was a Trump quote. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was more of a catchphrase. Yeah, yeah. TJ, did our boy start drinking yet? Yeah, he's drinking.

Shirts. I don't know if he did check today. TJ, did our boy start drinking yet? Yeah, he's drinking. Ugh. Shirts. I don't know if he did check. Oh, no. Here, let me do an ad real quick. Blur out whoever's sitting next to me. High Noon, your tequila lover who's never satisfied with malt-hard seltzer offerings. You're going to love new High Noon tequila seltzer made with real tequila real juice clean finish because it's made with a real blanco tequila only 100 calories gluten-free

and no added sugar high noon tequila seltzer is now available nationwide in four bright uh crisp flavors excuse me strawberry lime grapefruit and passion fruit quick ranking i'm going lime strawberry passion fruit grapefruit those are my tequila rankings all delicious though high noon tequila seltzer is great in the outdoors especially around the pool lake beach golf and tailgating look for them on drizzly right your local convenience or liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. highnoonspirits.com Thank you to High Noon. Delicious

High Noon. World of Shirts hasn't posted in 21 hours. Oh. There was a Grimm we saw it. What was it? He got alcohol poisoning and the EMTs had to get him,

and the EMTs recognized him from getting him before. Oh, this is getting a little depressing. After what Kyle said yesterday. And live with Larson. A little depressing. Someone should probably get him some help. You said he's going to live forever. Yesterday.

I didn't predict that. That's how it works. These people keep going. And this seems to be, this is only a documented occurrence from like a second party. He probably does that often. Doesn't seem like it's going well for him.

I missed it. What happened? Were you talking about World of T-shirts? Yesterday Kyle said World of T-shirts is going to live forever and then today we found out he had to get picked up by an E-T-S-T. I said people who drink like he does can do that every day for a long time. Well, I think if you start right when you wake up, yes.

Right? If you never let yourself get hung over, then yeah. We're talking about death. Yeah, but he could drink like that forever because he has nothing else to do aside for drink. We're saying people that drink like that tend to just somehow survive. Yeah. I feel like they survive until they get sober and then they ironically die.

Then they get into extreme sports. Then they get really into bicycles instead. Yeah, they go they put their... They go all the way to they need a liver transplant, and then they're like, I'm done. And they live a serene last five years. Are we allowed to talk about

CH? Chet Hanks? Oh, we already did, didn't we? I was thinking Chris Hanks. We watched the video of him when he's doing like the sober motivation. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, he nailed it.

Yeah. That's going to be- We're a pro-Ched Hanks show now. Totally. Yeah. Because he's actually, he owns the act. Where did they find World of T-Shirts? In Tommy's.

Where? Mostly Tommy. I know there's two like LA streamers. Yeah, they spent the day with him. And they put him in a hotel and he just threw up all over them, and they came back. It feels like some of these people might be taking advantage of him. Definitely does.

This guy tried to play. They tried to play dumb, and they didn't know he was. They knew. Yeah. You don't need to film him. Yeah. So he has enough days. For 21 hours.

That's not too bad. He usually posts about 88 times a day. He usually starts around this time, so I bet you by 3 he'll post his morning. Good morning, USA. Is that what he posts? A strong start to the day? Saying good morning to the whole goddamn country?

Yeah. Maybe just good morning, New York. No such song. I mean, he is world of t-shirts. Yeah, Good morning, New York. No such song. I mean, he is world of t-shirts. True. He thinks he's from Italy now. He's calling that his home.

You would never, Nick. He drinks the tastiest looking drinks. You think he's balling out? You think he has a lot of money? He says he lives paycheck to paycheck, but he gets a lot of money from those streams. He's from Staten Island, right? Long Island.

Long Island. He's from Long Island. I don't know. I think his mom's like, honey. I don't think he has any. No. Grandparents. Oh, shit.

Okay. You're just like trying to find a positive angle here. Yeah, yeah. There's none. We can't find one. There's none. Definitely having fun. Yeah. He's find a positive angle here. We can't find one. Definitely having fun. He's having a good ass time. He owns his own business, which is now on Google.

He's an entrepreneur. Give it the five stars. It's a fact. Is there footage of him? Yeah, but it's this guy, the streamer guy, is not releasing it. There's some on the subreddit. There's a whole subreddit for him? From what I've heard.

Well deserved. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in there. I'm discussing lore in the comments. I'm writing fan fiction. I'm in a World of T-Shirts fantasy league. Nick's evenings are World of T-Shirts subreddit and memorizing wrestling that he didn't watch.

I have no control of my own life. I don't know what the real me likes anymore. You've been irony poisoned? Mm-hmm. Shit. I'm trying to get Brandon to take his shoes off

so I can make a Kid Tonga reference. Fucked. Oh no. Is that a barefoot wrestler? Everything's just set up for an own. Who is this? What's his name?

King Kid Tonga? You get a couple names. Haku. What do you know about him, Brandon? Sounds like nothing. First of all, it was the Tonga Kid. Then it was King Tonga. Yeah.

You're close. And then it was Haku. Then it was Ming. He said King Tonga. Yeah. He said it. And then Ming, and then back to Haku. But yeah.

Notoriously the toughest guy they ever had. Yeah, Hulk Hogan says so. He bit somebody's nose off. Oh, what is this? Oh, come on. Oh! I'd watch that show. That looks great.

Oh, no. That looks damn good. That's cool as hell. Give us a drop an episode, Nick. I might. Call it wrestling. Yeah, just spell it correctly. That was probably why it failed.

It didn't fail. I thought bar sweat on wrestling. I didn't like the word. It only had like 5 million viewed shows. It got canceled. It didn't fail. Maybe I'm being a good friend and trying to raise awareness. Are you being Giannis right now?

Why? Why? Why is Russell doing this? Because I have the login. You tweet a lot from there. I don't. But I got fucking Nick. Zero Block 30 is a savage on there. He's a beast.

He loves wrestling. He really does. Have you ever had to tell him to cool it? Well, the other night, I had to do a live stream reaction to the WWE pay-per-view because he told me, I'm going to do it whether you show up or not. I love that. So I had to show up. Like, I couldn't let the guy just, you know, knock me off.

He's a can-do hustle. Mm-hmm. Yeah. His videos are great. Yeah. Yeah, he's good. He's very good. Hard worker. I like him. Yes, he's a good dude. I want to know more about this

world of t-shirt situation. It's grim. Dude, yesterday when you guys were texting about the Chad Hanks thing, I was on the plane and I had no service and I was only getting certain messages. I was like rolling around. I was so angry. I was like service and I was only getting certain messages I was like I was like rolling around

I was so angry I was like what the hell is going on all I'm getting is just like Nick sending like yeah dot dot dot something horrible is happening and I'm missing the whole thing

I flew Virgin and they have the thing on the back of the screen where you can watch the plane from the tail. Oh, yeah. What? It is the sickest thing.

The live cam? Yes. They could do something very funny, or I know you can connect and cast from your phone. If you could prerecord and have somebody standing on the fucking plane. Virgin also have the pilot out there. Just trying to fix something Virgin lets you text Other people

Yes other seats Seats Yeah Really Yeah Yeah but my My keyboard was just in Japanese Couldn't do anything about it

Oh that sucks I didn't really want to talk to anybody No you should have It was uh Me and Tommy on the flight And like 370 Hasidic Jews. I was dreaming. We didn't go anywhere.

It's all a bit. They just got on the flight, circled and came back. No, I could have watched a movie, but I just watched the camera from the tail and you could do one from the bottom. It's so sick. That is sick.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. What's this? camera from the tail and you could do one from the bottom it's so sick that is sick oh yeah oh yeah no no no no no no what's this let's go for nicky yeah yep yeah well deserved yes thank you thank you huge day rats from one nick to a nick actually makes more sense too You could just even call it Wrestling with the two Knicks That doesn't make sense Why would you need that name? I like that name

Yeah, Wrestling with the two Knicks You don't even look comfortable holding it He looks pretty comfortable Yeah, he does He looks as comfortable as I've ever been He looks very relaxed You look uncomfortable You look I've been been in. It's very relaxed. You look uncomfortable. I've been uncomfortable.

You look tight. Very tense, yeah. I've been uncomfortable since 2019. If you find the one YouTube channel I've been watching, you could just trump me because I'm going in order. You say in order, but one night you'll drop a 2004 thing, then you drop a 1993 thing, and then a 2007 thing. In my notes, I just have it by year.

Okay. You look really good with that. Thanks, man. Thank you. Not you, man. Why don't we start wrestling back up, and I'll be learning as you are. You're the teacher, and I'll join you. Do it the other way.

I'll be on the show. Yeah, let me teach you. I am trying to get started. Beginner's me teach you. I am trying to get started. Beginner's Guide to Wrestling. I'm trying to start it back up, as I do once a year. So we'll see. Hopefully when I get to Chicago, we'll start it back up. Get that itch.

Did you like the Puerto Rico pay-per-view? Oh, it was fantastic. Yeah. Do you go to Chicago in June? My closing date is June 19th. I'd like to be living there by July 1st. Dude, Fasoli goes, like, tomorrow to move. Really?

Yeah, his lease was up. He's like, yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do, whether I'm going to just be out there and just enjoy a summer or I'm just going to go work with Chicago guys for a couple of weeks. I don't know. What's the plan for this show? Yeah, we've got to talk about that.

We've got to get a transition, yeah. What are, like, is it going to be, like, me and Roan just doing it? I'll be here until mid-July. Okay. Then we'll probably have a couple weeks where we've got to figure it out. And then when do you move? I don't know. You should really figure that out.

I had a dream the other day that I was moving to Chicago. Yeah? Yeah. It's good. It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. Have you all found houses yet? I've put a final offer in today on one the

other wacky house fell through but i put on another one probably for the better another area those steps were gonna kill you yeah the steps were none and putting an offer on this one made me realize how insane the other one was is that your requirement for when you're looking you're like make it wacky yeah yeah well this one has a low ceilings but i'm not that tall so i don't care yeah i really want to play roof ball tj yeah we have two houses we do two finalists that we have to go through like the legal process of figuring out if we could film at their house in their neighborhood in the state whatever god damn it i think my little house would be a good roof ball house if it goes through it looks like it's out of a sitcom

family matters poor family that's nice Brendan it's just cake it's a little small more than enough starter home it has a party garage.

So the garage door opens up into the backyard. I forgot about that. Put a fridge in there, some AstroTurf down. Oh, hell yeah. Just get a white fridge in there. Yeah. The garage fridge. Yeah.

Yeah, always has to be old. Yeah, white and has that weird texture. Yeah. You like to rub your hands on it. Yeah. I don't know how to describe it either. I know what on it. Yeah. I don't know how to describe that either. I know what you're talking about. I don't know how to describe it.

It's like slightly yellowed. Diagnosis incoming. Put the turkey in there after Thanksgiving for way too long. Yeah. Get some Capri Suns in there. Oh, my God. The world record for the Capri Sun is way too long. Did you see that?

What? What? Like 10 and a half seconds is the world record to drink the Capri Sun is way too long. Did you see that? What? Ten and a half seconds is the world record to drink a Capri Sun. Wait, what? Didn't we do that on Lowering the Bar? Oh, it's a very thin straw. I can't get a lot of wine. I want to try right now. TJ, can you Google the world record?

We just did this on Lowering the Bar a couple months ago, didn't we? There's a thin straw. We know where we can buy them. This Google the world record? They just did this on Lowering the Bar a couple months ago, didn't they? There's a thin straw. Can we get a drink one in like two? Do we know where we can buy them? This is the world record. I would have been done five seconds ago. Well, TJ, can you Google what the record is? Because I don't know how they do it.

Why is he sticking his tongue out? Guinness tweeted it. And that's posted by Guinness? Yeah. Oh, shit. How long was it? 10-4-1. 10-4-1.

There's probably probably a very strict ruling on spillage. And can you not squeeze the package? I bet you if you spill one drop, you're disqualified. So if you squeezed it too hard, you'd spill. That's why he's over the paper. I want to. Who can go get us Capri Suns? Where would you get Capri Suns?

That's KB's biggest fear, having a Capri Sun. Right? Boy comes home wearing high pants. Capris are rough. Who's got their... I got a wallet. I got a good pair of Capris.

Do you think they have them at Dwayne Reed? Yes. Yeah. And if they don't, they'll have a different type of Capri Sun. I don't want to be slurping Mondo. Pete. Pete. Pete.

Pete. Pete. Come on. This motherfucker. He's big-timing us at this point. It's insane. He needs to get punched in the face once. Yeah, just really hard.

You should clock him. Maybe buy like a heavyset older lady too. Yeah. Fucking sock him one. Not even a punch, a sock. With a heavy ass set. I want to get hit by a purse. In old shows, the purse hit was always like a KO.

I feel like it can't be that bad. Yeah. Hit by a purse. Depends on what's in it. I just checked. I look sick. You have cash on you? He'll do anything we fucking want.

Just give me your credit card. I will. I want to break this record. I think it starts with the time. As soon as you undo the straw is when the time starts. How do you know it's empty? That's why, yeah. You got to stick your tongue out to make sure you're not hiding any of it under your tongue.

You think it starts when you un... Time starts when you touch the Capri Sun, and you must use the small orange straw provided on the back of the pouch to slurp up all the juice. Do you already have the straw unattached? No. Time starts when you touch the package. That's where the time comes from. Yeah, that's tough. That's a tough record to break.

That's five seconds right there. Yeah, it's for you. Those big, meaty fingers. Facts. Those are not meaty fingers at all. They're coming at you today. I don't know why. Just spin the wheel and see who has to go get the Capri Suns. I don't know who has to go get the Capri Suns. You go get them.

Can I? I will. Can you get me a treat while you're down there? Rice Krispies. Can we get treats? Yeah, I could go for a Rice Krispies. I'm all sexed on this way. Too much caffeine.

I'm a little jittery. Go, Brandon. You know more than I do. Butterfingers. A round of Butterfingers. New motivation. Yeah, it's all straw. You know more than I do. Do you have Butterfingers? A round of Butterfingers? Any motivation? Yeah, it's all straw. It's all straw work.

Wow. Dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs. Oh, you need all... She's got the straw, too, that makes you think that maybe... Why do they stick their tongue out? We're not expecting it to just, like... It sounds just like they're pouring out of her mouth. Wait, there's some under her tongue. She was hiding it in her cheeks.

Malasek standing outside. Oh, we're good. He gone now? He gone. He didn't eat all that mac and cheese. Yeah, he did. He pounded that. Want to do the Outback read, Nick? Yep.

Do it up. Here, I'll cut a steak on you. I ate so much Tim Tam brownie cake yesterday. I could eat that every day for the rest of my life. Nick, you lead a bunch of podcasts with an Outback read currently. Oh, yeah. Do I do the woo-woo Outback alert? Yeah, an alarm, and then it's you.

Fast forward, fast forward. You guys know we love Outback and we've been loving the new Great Barrier Eats menu. You don't want to miss these new dishes at Outback Steakhouse including the Tasmanian shrimp and lobster pasta, the prime rib and shrimp combo, and the Tim Tam

brownie cake. It's a perfect mixture of Tim and Tam on your tongue. Outback Steakhouse even topped their famous Bloomin' Onion with Aussie cheese fries. So I'm ready to climb that mountain for bloomin' cheesiness. And only on Tuesdays, check out the Tuesday Tales special.

It means you get Outback's signature steak, seasoned, seared, and grilled to perfection, paired with a steamed lobster tail, starting at you'd guess a trillion dollars. But, it's $24.99. What? Head to your local Outback Steakhouse and enjoy the Tuesday tails, steak, and lobster combo

only on Tuesdays. Thank you to Outback. Hell yeah. The day the Outback stops showing up will be a sad day. I think it's tomorrow. Yeah, I think it's tomorrow. Tomorrow's the last day. Tomorrow it's not coming?

I think tomorrow's the last day. Oh. But don't worry to the listeners, because we are now about to be sponsored by Bazooka Joe Chewing Gum. Don't you worry. We're actually doing a rare combo. It's bazooka gum and Tostitos chips. That's right.

Chalkboards. We are having a soup competition, but we can't use spoons. Who can have the most soup? Pop Rocks Olympics. Damn, that steak is good. Oh, Pop Rocks, yeah. I needed that. My parents met at a bubblegum factory. What?

Yeah. Yeah, of course they did. Yeah, they did. The Swell Bubblegum Factory in Delco. Jesus Christ, you make so much sense. There was one working there, both guests. They both worked there. Oh.

Yeah. A forbidden romance. My dad was like the manager of the gumball room. I was like a gumball sorter and something like that. Gumball sorter? He saw her and he was like

Are they sorting? They're sorting gumball? They had their first kiss in the parking lot. It's a YMCA now. In the car or? Outside the car. It was his birthday.

Whoa. Was it a peck? I have an idea that it wasn't a first kiss. car. It was his birthday. Whoa. He pulled the birthday card. I have an idea that it wasn't a first kiss. Oh, I don't know. My mom's a pretty straight-laced lady. I mean, you have a chance for a romp with a gumball sorter. Yeah. I love the way you sort those balls.

Balls need a little sorting themselves. So good at this. Tomorrow we have Jenks. I think Steven is coordinating. Is it tomorrow? I thought Jenks tweeted today. He hit me up. He wants to have a meeting with me today.

Meeting? About what he's preparing for tomorrow. Okay. He put it on my Google calendar. And Stu said he wanted to come in too. Okay. And I said yes. So Stu Vodder and Jenks Quite a day It's wild that Jenks' brother had that MTV show

What? Yeah I didn't realize Is that truly truly the same? Yeah Wait what? World of Jenks World of Jenks? You remember that show?

I remember that show With like Liv with the guy from the theme song Can you show me? It was like, a really popular, it was on MTV, wasn't it? It was good.

MTV was cool. Like, I liked their shows they had. Yep. I miss true life. I used to watch TRL. Yeah? Oh yeah,

I used to watch TRL for it. That's World of Jinx? Can't you tell? What is he doing now? It's me. Guess we'll have to ask. The soundtrack to my life was the... Oh, there he is.

37, New York City. What happened? Looking good. You just gave up, though? No juice boxes? Ray Reed or the bodega. Let's check. And you brought no Rice Krispies back?

And no treats? I wasn't told about it We were all asking for treats It was more of a treat run than it was Capri Suns You gotta find Capri Suns, brother We gotta send you out for Capri Suns more often Brandon's gonna get so jacked Do I need to go?

Yeah, I mean Where am I gonna go? People wanna see Capri Sun content. Just based off this guy, is he the most famous person in the world? I thought he was the president. Yeah, I thought it was the president of the world. Isn't that Chris Hansen? Oh, no way.

Yes. Thank God I didn't recognize him. Is he really? Chris Hansen is here. He's here. Holy shit. Say your pedophile thing again. We meet recently.

Oh, man. Was I drunk when I met you? Yeah, off a lot of wine coolers. Bartles and James, right? That's your... Go and dap him up. Long time no see, man. So we got off on the wrong foot.

You say that, bring him in and say off on the wrong foot. Did he say that? Bring him in and say that. Yoo-hoo. Remember me? Landed on my feet. He probably has to have a lot of small talk about pedophilia. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He got his whole life on it. He did. Yeah. I'm an Epstein. Okay, I'm finding Capri Sun. They're on Uber Eats. You can get Capri Sun on Uber Eats.

I bet you I can get it in 10, 14 minutes, be back with Capri Sun. Yeah, I believe you. 14? I mean, that's a long time. You were gone for 15. Eight minutes. No, eight's too short. No, it's not.

Eight minutes. Eight's pretty short. Impress me. Eight minutes. That's two. It has to be two minutes there, then two minutes shopping, then two hours. Shopping? Do it, KP two minutes shopping. Shopping? Do it, KB.

Are you browsing? What time? Nine and a half. All right. This is a chance. What time do you want? 12 minutes? Well, 12.

That's a lot. What's the record? 10. 10. No, 11. Yeah, I like 11. All right. 11 minutes.

I also just ordered some, so we'll see. All right, KB. All right, he's gone. Walk started. He's running. I mean, 11 minutes, that's long. He should just walk. Well, we don't know where to get him.

True. You guys know how many calories is in a person? I already, like, eat sass. No. It's like 126,000. Yeah, that makes sense. That's a lot. Heart is like 650 calories.

Thighs are 13. Liver is really fatty, right? Yeah, yeah. If you eat just the nervous system, brain, and spinal fluids, it's a good bit too. What's the most caloric part of it? I think it's your thighs. Thank you. If I eat a set of human thighs, but also the biggest.

Did you find this out? I was Googling last night. This is a fucked up question. That's something that I would Google. I'm always Googling random shit like that. Do you enjoy your evenings? A lot. Yeah.

Say our plane crashes in Iceland and we have to eat somebody. What is the first, say I want to live the longest and be the healthiest. What's the first body part that I would go for? So I think I would do butt cheek because you have to think of the butchering process as well. I don't want to look at you. I don't want to see any inside. I mean nutrient wise though. Oh, I think.

Oh. You know what I mean? What's the most nutrient part of a body? Definitely the liver. Yeah. Some fava beans. The organs. Nice candy.

Yeah. What are you doing? What is that? Hannibal Lecter Hannibal Lecter I thought it was Based on the slurping alone Benjamin Raskaris Fledgling killer's first flight

That's pretty good Esther Moffat The rest of me What's the one where he feeds Where he feeds Human to the whole dinner party? That's two?

That one sucks. Red Dragon. Oh, I liked two. Oh, that's Red Dragon. Red Dragon's awesome. Red Dragon, though, isn't about Hannibal. No, but the beginning starts off with Hannibal's arrested. I know in the one book he's feeding the guy to himself. He's cooking parts of the guy's brain while the one book he's like feeding the guy to himself. He's like cooking parts

of the guy's brain while the guy's still alive and then feeding it to him and he's like I ate her liver with some fava beans and a nice candy. I would feel embarrassed

if you guys had to eat my corpse and you all got food poisoning. Yeah, you would apologize for the grave. I mean,

my ghost would come back and be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Ouija board would go straight to sorry. Oh, jeez. What if you tasted good as hell though? Yeah, you would apologize. My ghost would come back and be like, oh my god. Ouija board would go straight to sorry. Oh, jeez. What if you tasted good as hell, though?

Yeah, what if you're delicious? That would make me proud. Yeah. I think. Spin the wheel while KB's out. Who's eating who? Max is walking with purpose today. So yeah, Jenks report tomorrow.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Phew. Mad honey. Oh, that's like the... Psychedelic honey. Psychedelics. He said he didn't get that mad honey from the source,

and it's so popular with tourists. I wouldn't be shocked if there was a big bootleg mad honey market. Yeah, because once they leave, it's like, how are they going to know? Right. Can we add a honey mad to the wheel and you have to call your significant other? That'd be really good.

KB's going to do it? Yeah, 100%. I bet he's already got it. I think KB just happens to know where to get a Capri I think the time's due. I bet he's already got it. I mean, what time? It's eight minutes. I think KB just happens to know where to get a Capri Sun around. What's the Capri Sun record? 10-4-1.

I'm afraid he's going to run to Whole Foods because they don't normally have that kind of stuff. They would have those true ones, whatever they're called. The one below us had Honest. Yeah, Honest. Is KB the one who brought up Capri Suns? No. It was me, I think. The Honest ones are actuallyest. Yeah, Honest. Is KB the one who brought up Capri Suns? No. It was me, I think. The Honest ones are actually harder to get the straw in.

Remember how cool those commercials were? Yeah, they turned silver. Where you turn into liquid and you... Respect the pouch. Respected. What? I'm not respecting that shit. Capri Sun pouch.

That would be a funny sketch. They would post things of them stomping on the Capri Sun thing, and then their head would explode. That's Gushers. Is it? Yeah. I don't think so. I think that's Capri Sun. Yeah, you're right.

The head exploding is Gushers. Gushers is their head would turn to fruit. But then it would explode. Capri Sun, their head inflates super big, and they start floating away. What are the Capri Sun kids up to nowadays? That would be a funny way to leave one-night stands, just take a sip of Capri Sun. I was a Capri Sun guy.

At LSU they had Capri Dads with liquor in them. Whoa. During COVID, that's all the bars were selling just out the door. Big, boozy Capri Suns. I used to walk around with them all the time. You're real fucked up. All the time. Chris Hansen left and Pete's walking around confidently again.

Yeah. If I were Chris Hansen, I would go up to strangers all the time and be like, have we met? Look at my eyes. It's like, you know, you go to a party, if the dog doesn't like you, you feel dumb. You feel like there's something about you. Yeah. I'd be nervous for Chris Hansen to not like me. Yeah.

He has a good judge of character. Yeah. You're nervous for everyansen to not like me yeah like pick up uh yeah he's he has a good judge of character yeah you're nervous for every human to not like that's true yes billy's a pedophile file i've diagnosed him where he's obsessed with like epstein and shit you know there's like a whole group of people now oh yeah that are just every they have epstein google alerts like epstein's like you, cousin sold their house. Yeah. You know how that island sold? It sold, and they're turning it into a vacation resort.

You going there? Taking music? What? A hundred percent. Yeah, if they gave me, like, a good tourist deal. I think if I accidentally, like, there's a world in, like, five years where I'm, like, looking for a vacation spot, and I just end up there, and I'm just, like, I guess what I'm saying is, like, kind of how Bill Clinton got there.

Yeah, yeah. Just, like, get on a plane, and then, like, whoops. Maybe he just texted, never mind. Oh, no! I don't get going to, like, sad places for vacation, though. Who goes to sad places? Danny Green when he went to Auschwitz. I feel like that's less of a vacation. Wait, Danny Green's a basketball player?

I think he went to Auschwitz and posted an Instagram, didn't he? It's more of like a pilgrimage kind of thing, I think. I don't think you just go to, I think you probably go somewhere near Auschwitz and then you go see it one day, probably. I don't think there's like a... I mean, yeah, I don't think that's a hot take,

Nick. Going to Auschwitz for vacation is a bummer. What was Auschwitz like before? Before it was a museum? You were going to want to sit down. Yeah. I thought it was a city

where they had the camp at. I thought it was just the name of the camp. It was just the name of the camp. I thought it was a town where they had the camp at. I thought it was just the name of the camp. I think it's just the name of the camp. It's just the name of the camp. I thought it was a town that they had the camp in. Don't play dumb with this. That's what I thought. What was it like before? It's a standard question, if it were a town.

If it's not a town, then the question is... Is there a gift shop? Yeah, I bet. There's a 9-11 gift shop. Is there? Yeah, I got KB a flag. You can buy a cheese plate there. We also put a shopping mall where 9-11 happened, right? Well can buy like a cheese plate there we also put put like

a shopping mall where 9-11 happened right well there was a big debate on what we're gonna ask they were gonna put a church there weren't they oh you got confused that rumor that there was gonna be a mosque there oh yeah people got very upset yes that was fake news you guys seen that video i forget what the who who made the video of the of the there's like a white supremacist meeting and the dude that's running it is fucking with them. Sacha Baron Cohen. It is. Yeah.

And he's like, so we're adding a big mosque to the town. And he starts clapping, and everyone's like, what the fuck? And then he's like, we'll let you guys choose. You can vote on the two options. And he shows one, and it's just this massive mosque. And everyone's like, fuck no. And then he switches slides, and it's just this massive mosque and everyone's like fuck no and then he switches slides and it's just the exact same mosque but it's copy and pasted so it's

just two of them instead it's KBK Pop yeah but what does that mean it means he probably had a store in mind that had it and they went and they didn't have it but he said he could get it no matter what. Yeah, I thought he was going to, like, rob someone of a Capri Sun. Yeah.

It'd be tough to find. We're in a Capri Sun desert, and we don't know it. Oh, it'd suck. Oh, I ordered some. Oh, yeah. We'll at least get them delivered. Brandon, you were hitting the golf balls really hard. Yeah, that was impressive.

Yeah. I hit tanks. I mean, I hit bombs. That's, that was impressive. Yeah. I hit tanks. I mean, I hit bombs. That's all I can do, though. I hit a tank for you. My finger is torn to pieces. That was your short game. Terrible.

I'm awful. Do you wear gloves? No, I don't wear gloves. No. I never liked the feeling of wearing gloves. I never wore batting gloves or golf gloves. Moises Alou? Yeah.

It's on your own hands? I needed to wear batting gloves. If you don't, then if you hit it at the wrong place, it hurts your hands. It's going to hurt regardless. I mean, the glove doesn't really help that much. Batting gloves also

just look cool. Yeah, especially in the back pocket. Yeah. You can't be a batting glove guy if you're playing in like a softball league. No.

I didn't need gloves to look cool. I was just a cool looking guy. Yeah. That's not true. What was that face, Sass? You could use some batting gloves. You should just start wearing batting gloves on a normal basis.

Yeah, you really should. It would maybe spruce up whatever you're trying to. Spruce is not a word. Spruce? Spruce? Yeah, spruce. It's spruce up. Yeah.

I think the drummer of the Dave Matthews band wears batting gloves. Really? Wait, spruce is a word. Spruce is not a word. Spruce. Yes. I'll wear batting gloves. Spruce is not a word.

What's the act? Wear batting gloves when you're doing comedy. You didn't say it like sprucing's a word. Sprucing's not a word. Spruce, yes. I wear batting gloves. Sprucing's not a word. What's the act? You wear batting gloves when you're doing comedy. You didn't say it like sprucing. You said sprucing. I said sprucing it up. Wrestling. Sprucing it up. Wrestling.

Sprucing is not a word. There's wrestling. Wrestling's a word. Not the way you speak. It's a derivative of a word. So is sprucing. Not really. You made it up.

Look up sprucing. TJ, look up that word. This guy's definitely here for something he's got the camo pants but he's pissed he's making a pitch oh yeah resume spruce sprucing right there oh here comes security no that's not what you said yeah i just she was silent hey hey hey whoa you just got back big dog? Wait You just got back In ten minutes How did you run back

If you don't have the Capri Suns? Ten exactly Ten exactly? Yes I tried three different places Oh, shit In ten minutes Gristetti's the one I knew

Would have it closed down Why? You went all the way to Gristetti's? Yeah, sprint it It's crazy That's far When you sprint Yeah

Yeah You're fast Oh, no Kyle's wet Where's crazy. That's far. Maybe you'll get in your way when you sprint. Yeah. Yeah. You shouldn't. Damn, you're fast. Oh, no. Kyle's wet. Where's Gristetti's? Gristetti's is like.4 miles. It's almost like half a mile from here at least.

No, it's a little less. I think. It's pretty far. Oh, over the sky ebony. Yeah, Pat had to get involved. Yeah. Pat passed him through. He made the ocular pat down.

Yeah, Gristetti's is.4 miles. You went almost half a mile in. Damn, KB. Pat about him through. He made the ocular pat down. Yeah, Chris, Pat is 24 miles. You went almost half a mile. Damn, KB. Pat about to make a move. That's really fast. Yeah, he gave him an ocular scan and passed him over to Ebony. What was that? Passed level one.

Yeah, I'm here for the yak. What is going on? There's a guy out there. He's selling something. His pants are wet. Yeah, I'm here for the yak. What is going on? There's a guy out there. He's selling something. I mean, those are some good pants. Those are good pants. Who does he remind me of?

Brandon. Yeah. Brandon doesn't know. Nick? Spike. Yeah. Spike Dudley? Yeah.

Okay. Just making sure who you wanted. I'm so nervous. Uh-oh. The boys are full of Billy. Billy stared him down. Spike Dudley's on my Mount Rushmore of selling. He's playing with a car.

I think Mr. Perfect is the best seller. You saw the clip I sent you. I like Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler's good. Penn State alum, wrestler. Whoa. Is he good? Yeah, all American. Handsome as all hell.

Best hair I've ever seen. I always thought his hair was the one part that was holding him back. That's what helps you sell. Oh, I know, but Spike Dudley didn't really need hair to sell. He was just teensy tiny. I'm going to do a video with a French coffee expert tomorrow morning. Why? Really?

Yeah. Brooklyn? Deep fromage. Okay. I don't really like how you answered that. You do so many cool things. Invite me to that. That's true. Yeah, that to that. That's true. Yeah, that is true.

That's a fair point by you. He's not going to waste his one invite on that. Taylor! Oh, yeah. Hey! Come on, he's French. How did this start? We're doing a video just having a coffee expert try Stella Blue.

Oh. I hope he likes it. He will. That's a damn good cup of Joe. I got my whole apartment stocked with medium roast. Hell yes. There you go, sass. They had a competitor spit it out and said, not for me.

Not for me. A cup of Stella Blue. So Capri Sun's on the way, we think. Let's see. I just got outbid on that other house. No, I'm sorry. None of them. Are you serious?

Damn. As we were talking about it? The tiny, poor one? The second tiny, poor one. You're going to have to go poor and even smaller. Well, just bid again. They counter-offered.

I said, yeah, let's do it. And then they said, never mind, somebody came in higher. You're just going to have to get a one-bedroom home with like Charlie Bucket. Like four, yeah,

just one bed where all our feet... Real estate's hot right now. This is hard, man. This sucks. I had like a whole world I already planned out in my life in this home

that was a mistake. Well, yeah, you fall in love with them. I was like, I'm going to sit in a baby pool in the backyard with Miller. The one I got is my seventh offer. God damn it. Seventh offer? Yeah.

Damn. And I fell in love with six houses before it. This was down the street from the world's largest laundromat that has a bird aviary inside. I don't think world's largest laundromat is a good thing. Does it have a bar? It has. It has somehow one-upped herself with even more boring things. Free pizza.

World's largest laundromat. Yeah, I got excited. The bird aviator. Free pizza Thursday night. I gave you a sip at the excitement spot. That's insane, Kate. Laundromats are tough. You found the most boring triangle on earth.

Trying to think of something more boring. An already boring place. A thimble museum. Walk in here. No, that's way cooler. A thimble museum. Yeah, that is pretty bad too. It was actually bad, but...

On the street from the Bugle Cultural Center as well. The history of America. The history of the Bugle Center. Bugles, yeah. Jewish people. I call those witchy fingers. Ooh. Hi, Caitlin. Hi. I don't know why Brandon caught you. I call those witchy fingers. Ooh. Hi, Caitlin.

Hey. I don't know why Brandon caught you. I want to talk to her. You're aggressively pointing. Yeah. Relax. Hey, Caitlin, we like you here. Don't worry what he says.

You're fine. Thank you. What was that tweet yesterday saying I wouldn't take care of our mama? She called me. She said that. She said that. I would take care of our mama. But, Kate.

I mean. Oh. Well, you would. You would. Yeah, I would. Yeah, you would. Why wouldn't I? I've been with her a lot longer than you have. Yeah, I would. You would. Why wouldn't I? I've been with her a lot longer than you have.

Yeah, because you're old. Oh, shit. Oh, you walked into that one. What would you do differently? Wait, hold on. Tell me. Did Brandon just say that he knows your mom more than you because he's? I've got 16 years on me.

That's a lot. You know how many movies we went to? You know how many things we did? We had a smaller week. Oh. Better be a lot. You know how many movies we went to? You know how many things we did? We had meals. You call her a week. Oh. Better be a text. You communicate better via text. This is bullshit because you call her like three times a day.

Well, yeah. Oh, that actually makes my point. No. Yeah, she loves her mom. And she cares for her mom. I call her once a week. Once a month. Brandon, that ain't right. She calls me multiple times. And she's like, Brandon Oh, like once a week? Once a month. Brandon. That ain't right.

She calls me multiple times, and she's like, Brandon won't answer my calls. Brandon won't answer my texts. That's not true. Brandon, it's your fault for inviting Caitlin in. Anytime you don't answer her, she calls me immediately and bitches about it. Caitlin, will you let her know that I will be the backup

if anything were to happen to you, that I will take care of her? Oh, God. She's going to want that option over me. That's fine. We could co-help her out. I'll step in as the adult in the room. I'll take care of your mother. I'm helping her buy

a car. I'll buy her a car. You can buy someone a real estate. How about that? She want a Tesla? How many Mississippi drives a Tesla? How about that? You can. Yeah. No, yeah. I do. I got kids. Do you want a Tesla? Oh, not that online. How many Mississippi drives a Tesla?

No. She'd be the... We're going to charge it. Oh, shit. They don't have electricity. Do you want to... All right. All right.

You didn't know. Tesla needs to figure out how to have a car powered by mud. Yeah, no, Brandon, you do that yourself. Caitlin did nothing wrong. I would take care of our mother. Well, I will. What would you get her? That was special. I'd buy her a house. Yeah, but it's about time,

Brandon. It's about giving her time. Buy her a house. Time. That's good. Buy her a house and she can have all her dogs. She can keep all her dogs. All six of them. You won't kill her dogs. That's what we're doing. I'm going to take care of you, Mama. Your lifestyle isn't going to change.

Correct, yeah. No, it's her golden years, man. It should be great. It should be fun. She ain't that old. How old is she? 66. How old was she when she had you?

20. She was young. Caitlin, can you do me one last favor? Can you text Nick your mom's number? Nick will start calling her. I'll start calling her. No, don't say yeah. When he's in between his wrestling.

There won't be much time. I have a lot of wrestling to catch up on. Yeah, but you'll check in with her. All right. Nick has your life. Damn, Brad. It didn't go well for you. You did that to yourself.

It would have been hard for it to go well. She wasn't the one who came up with it. Your mom said it to her. I texted my mama and said, did you say I wouldn't take care of you? And she hadn't texted me back. She probably thinks it's a trap. Maybe she's showing you what it feels like. She's afraid.

She's afraid that you're going to put her in an institution. Let's get her something for Mother's Day right now. I'm going to get her some more hummingbird feeders. Get her her own shoe. $5,000. Get her her own shoe. What if I pop out of a cake for her? No, why?

She would love that. You're going to go to Mississippi and pop out of a cake? She's got a crush on me. She told me. You said create her a shoe? Yeah, her own, like a custom. She's not going to give a shit about a shoe. No, but she's going to get a signature shoe.

Her own, she gets revenue. Yeah. Yeah, let's make her a shoe. Let's be realistic here. Hummingbird feeders is a signature shoe. It's her own. She gets revenue. Yeah. Yeah, let's make her a shoe. Let's be realistic here. Hummingbird feeders is a good start. What are her interests? Does she want a motorcycle? Does she even like hummingbirds?

She loves her backyard and her gardening and her animals. Her binoculars. She'll need binoculars. Why don't you get another pup? What? Could she see forever? Is she legless? No, the deer will come right up to her and eat corn out of her hand.

So it sounds like we need to get her some corn. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There we go. Why don't we get her a motorcycle? I don't know. I think that'd be cool. Dude, wheelies and stoppies.

Rip it around the yard. She want a tattoo? We only have 10 more minutes until it sells. I'm getting one. Ah, she's a sick motorcycle. Yeah, I love that. That's really neat. I love that.

EJ, is that something you want? What? What are you getting your mom for? I already got her something. What? She watches the show. That's really neat. I love that. TJ, is that something you want? What? What are you getting your mom for? I already got her something. What? She watches the show, I can't say. Are you getting your mom something for her mother's day? Absolutely.

I want my mom a motorcycle. SSXO, is that a 10 out of 10? That's something I want. Fuck, TJ, I'll buy it. I thought you were bidding for that. I don't have $1,000. TJ, this is too high, and I'll buy it for you, TJ. What did you get your mom for Mother's Day?

It's a surprise. She was watching the show, dude. My mom wants Costa Rican blend Stella Blue coffee. Okay. Did that happen? Okay. I don't know what that means. I got my mom a mix of Icelandic sauces.

Wow. What are they eating? They're like thermo water cooked hot sauce. That's sick. What about their local dishes? Did you taste anything? A lot of fish. Fish.

Brout. When you have four kids, it's harder to focus on other family members because you have so many kids. Yeah. Does that make sense? you have so many kids. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, we get it. Yeah. Sash, you just shook your head and then nodded your head. I was shaking my head.

Stretch. Then I nodded my head in agreement. I've never gotten a massage. I'm scheduling one for this week. Really? I've scheduled about ten massages in my life, and I chicken out the day of. So they don't jerk you off every time. I'm going to cancel one more. Okay.

No, I don't want to be jerked off. I don't think I want to be touched. Oh, that's going to be tough then. Yeah, I know. I've tried to do, like, twice I've gone. Jerk off? No, but I am so uncomfortable the whole time thinking that they're going to the effort Yeah, I know. I've tried to do it. Twice I've gone. Jerk off? No. But I am so uncomfortable the whole time thinking that they're going to the effort

that I feel bad the entire time. And I'm like, I'm never doing this again. They must know that every dude that's coming in there is like, they're like, I think I'm going to get jerked off. I'm not going to be... I'm going to go to a nice one, I think. It doesn't matter.

You still could get jerked off. You never really know. It's a toss-up. I don't really have a touchable dick. They could blow on it. Medically, it's not touchable. It's hidden by like folds. No, massage...

If you get a massage, you realize like, oh my God, I've been holding in all this stress. I've been feeling that way about breathing and light meditation. What have you been doing? Non-sleep. What is it called? Non-sleep deep relaxation. Just breathing differently.

You've been chilling out. I had no idea I was so tense and fidgety all my life. You run in a 4-4-8? What? I said you run in a 4-4-8? What? You said you run in a 4-4-8? Mention 360. You are? No.

Meditation. Damn, I was about to be so proud of you. Oh, meant it what? Like when you inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds. A lot of the inhale through the nose, and then exhale out of thinly pursed lips. I went to one of those. I went like four times because I thought I was going to hate it, but I loved it. Have you ever been in one of those relaxation pods?

Oh, I don't like the sensory deprivation. Yeah, yeah. I didn't go in the water one, but you sit in this like gravity chair. You're in this like glowing pod and it puffs in sense and you can choose like what vibe of voice and whatever you want and by the end of each one i was like holy shit i feel like a new part like i really did feel like it was too expensive but this feels good it's great it felt like i had slept like eight hours when i would you go to it for like 20 minutes it was right near the old office it was like on the top floor of some indescript, random-ass building. It had like one of those big salt rooms, those glowing salt rooms you could just like hang out in.

Why did Morgan Wallens spend the rest of his tour? What? Did you buy tickets? I had tickets since Christmas. 19th. Photo Barstool Sports Twitter. No. They just shared it.

Might be going to get himself fixed. My mom texted me, too. Yeah, it's over. I mean, his Oxford concert where he pulled out of, he said he didn't have a voice, but there were rumors that he got taken out medically with alcohol. He was so drunk. So I think he might. Are you going to go with your mom?

No. Why did she text you? She just told me the news. He loves delivering bad news. That's hilarious that she knew you were going to a concert. It was like, ha, you can't go anymore. Favorite thing. That sucks. It was like, ha, you can't go anymore. Favorite thing. That sucks.

Where was it? Met Life. Hi, y'all. Let's watch the video. Yeah. What's going on, y'all? What's going on? I'm just going to go ahead and get straight to it.

I got some bad news from my doctors at the Vanderbilt Voice Center yesterday. After taking 10 days of vocal rest, I performed three shows last weekend in Florida, and by the third one, I felt terrible. So I went in and got scoped yesterday, and they told me that I re-injured my vocal cords and that I have vocal fold trauma. Their advice is that I go on vocal rest for six weeks.

So that's what I'm going to do. They want me not to talk at all, but they said if I need to, it's okay. Not talk at all? You could have used that earlier. I also tore my lap while we were in Australia. I've been trying to work through that quietly, but this time off is going to help me get that back right as well. Very peaceful.

We're working on rescheduling all the dates during this time frame. Just apologize. We've almost got that done, but some of them are pending, so I'll keep you updated. I won't be able to make these festivals that I have during this time frame, but we are going to make those right next year. Did you say I'm sorry yet? I won't be able to do the ACM Awards or the Lifting Lives event.

Is this still going or is it restarting? That's for a great cause. They told me that if I do this the right way, that I'll get back to 100%. And they also said that if I don't listen and I keep singing, then I'll permanently damage my voice. So for the longevity of my career, this is just a choice I had to make. I hate it. But I love you guys.

And I appreciate all the support That you always give me And I'll see you soon And I'll be back better than ever God bless you Never said sorry They bought my outfit What's your outfit?

This whole thing Buy your drinks and stuff too You gotta charge him for everything. Any other racist dudes performing? Yeah. These Capri Suns are never going to get here. God damn. I just want to fucking smash one.

I think I could get the record. I think you could, too. Can you use two hands? Yeah. Maybe I'm sorry for your loss. Nah, it's fine. I bet, was your mom smiling as she sent that to you? I do it, man.

Here's an idea, because obviously canceling that sucks. Want to go see this Parisian coffee roaster tomorrow? Now I did. Wide open schedule. Now I did. Let's do it. Fuck it. Yeah.

That was supposed to be next week? Damn. MSG? Met Life. Met Life. Two weeks. Jesus. He's doing a huge tour.

That's fine. I would have been out of place there anyway. Met Life big? Huge. Life is big. Yeah, that's where they play football. Yeah, I know. American football.

I've been to Met Life, bro. Giants and Jets. Yes, he has Met Life big. Thanks, Brandon, for clearing that up. Well, you asked the question. I know American I've been to MetLife bro Giants and Jets Yes he is MetLife big Thanks Brandon For clearing that up You asked the question I know Zaz do you ever think Think about doing a comedy show

At Madison Square Garden Yeah I've thought about it I'm bouncing some ideas Around right now That'd be funny If they just like Let anyone try I know

I could come close If you had the money 30 people Could you You were so much better than Like Louie's No I don't think so I don't think a billionaire could just rent it out No

You could just rent it out Who's ever done that? Has anybody ever just done it? They rent it out for movies Don't rich people rent out stadiums to propose and stuff? No but that's a working relationship. Yeah, Drake did, right? Didn't he propose? He did Dodger Stadium on a date.

Dodger Stadium on a date? Yeah, he did that. Dave said on our podcast that he thinks he could sell out MSG. I think so. I think there is legitimately no way. I disagree. Dude, there's like seven comedians have sold out MSG.

But you understand what he's doing. Yeah, he wants to do this final goodbye. He wants to do the evening of hate. Yeah. He could sell it out. Dude, people would have to fly into New York. Yeah, I think people would. I think people would.

Because he's always said that as he walks, he would roast and eviscerate everyone and all the secrets and everything. So many people, dude. It's like 15,000 to 17,000. I bet a lot of people from Boston would just take the train down. Yeah. Two million followers on Twitter. He absolutely could. He couldn't do Billy Joel a week at MSG, but if he's one evening of hate?

MSG is so fucking big. I understand, but like. There are that many Dave fans in the tri-state area. He absolutely could. I don't know, man. Why? It's a lot of fucking people. We know how many.

It's 15,000. I think it's 18,000. Absolutely could. Look up bands that have sold out MSG. What comedians have? Chappelle, Louis Chappelle, Chris Rock, John Mulaney. Those are big names.

Z's sold it out once. That's because he's from New York. If you do it as one show, if PMT was ending tomorrow and we said we have one last show... These are people that their entire career is built off of people coming to see them. Right. But what I'm saying is if PMT said we're done tomorrow, last show, MSG ever,

I think that would be more of a chance than Dave selling it out. I mean, Dave's gigantic. Yeah. Again, three million followers. I'm starting to think you don't respect Dave. I respect him. I don't think he's selling MSG. Does anyone else feel like it's selling MSG? I actually don't even think he would. I think he would't respect Dave. I respect him. I don't think he's a lot of MSG. Anyone else feel like it's not a MSG?

I actually don't even think he would. I think he would get, like, maybe close to 50% capacity. Wow. I don't know. Oh, you know what? Good news is Dave will be in the office on Thursday, so we'll have him on the back. Perfect.

Perfect. We'll be here. He does owe us an episode. Who's the lowest name? Aziz. Yeah. That's definitely Aziz. Who's the lowest name? Aziz. Yeah. That's definitely Aziz. He's pretty huge.

I mean, dude, those are like huge people. I just think that given what he would promise. That must be an old. That looked like one was written when Aziz sold it out. Oh, yeah. Even Aziz selling it out. Oh, yeah. Even Aziz selling it out is insane. So who's next to do it?

Like, Burt? I mean, he sold out TD Garden. Burt sold out. Bill Burt could sell out MSG. I'm going to ask a stupid question that you might laugh at. Who's more famous, Burr Kreischer or Dave Portnoy? Burr Kreischer.

Burr Kreischer does arenas in Australia. Yeah, probably. He's got a movie coming out, too. I think they're equal at worst. Dave's pretty goddamn famous.

He is. You don't respect Dave Portnoy. I do respect him. I don't either, but I recognize he's famous. Wow, I respect the hell out of him. It's the pizza reviews, too. It's people who don't know anything about Barstool know him from... You've got to think about how many...

Yeah, you're right. Dave might be more famous than Bird. That's Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. He's got headphones in. Nope.

We tried. We'll get Fidelberg. He's the next best. Yeah. Drop off. Ask Max. Why don't you go get him, Kyle? Max.

Max. He tuts up. His face. His face. I'm scared to walk by this room. Do you think Dave could sell at MSG? Yes. 100%.

So there we go. 100%. There you go. There's the answer. If it was a one-time show, yes. One-time show, yes. What's your reasoning behind it? He has a huge fan base.

Yeah. And if it was like a one-time only show, then it would be like, yes. There's people that have so many followers who couldn't sell at MSG. I don't think there's like... Do you think that like... Like there's a lot of bars... I know, I know. I'm aware.

Yeah, you're probably right. He probably could sell it out. I know. I'm standing by my ground. He would. He would sell it out. I'm not saying that... I know Dave is fucking massive.

And he might be more famous than Burt Kreischer. He would sell it out. I'm not saying that. I know Dave is fucking massive, and he might be more famous than Bert Kreischer. He probably is. But 18,000 people at one night in one spot is a fuckload of people. You got to think about how many people are busy that night. Oh, are you calling Dave? No. Oh, good. Hey, what's up?

Sass, we're online. You have to tell him. You have to tell him he's live. Yeah, I have to tell you we're live. Sass doesn't think you could sell at MSG. He's an idiot. I mean, he's like a 12-year-old. Are you going to be in the office on Thursday?

I will be in the office on Thursday. All right, you're welcome to come on the app. We'd love for Sass to say it to your face. He can say it to my face. Sass probably doesn't even know that we used to do Casa Tours. Sass doesn't even know what Barstool is. Okay. All right.

We'll see you Thursday. Brandon said he'd be here too. Okay. All right. See you. Bye. I mean, that doesn't change. He told me that to my face.

He did our podcast and he said he gets held MSG. He calls you an idiot. I know he called me an idiot. He said I was 12 years old. I'm 12 years old. Who's the idiot now? Oh, look at you. Big boy standing up for himself. That's good. I just don't...

Ageism. One show is not... I completely agree with you. If you're doing a week-long thing, it would be very hard. I'm not talking about doing a week-long thing. Most people on Earth, statistically everyone on Earth, no one can do that. There's like three people that can do that. Fish.

Yeah. Harry Styles did like 18 shows there. Who are people performing there but don't sell at all? I'm assuming, but I'm assuming that you probably you probably get close to like 90 seven at least like 80 they do the rodeo there and it's like half the stadiums it's like all crowded at the bottom but yeah it's all empty of a rodeo selling half the stadium ncaa wrestling did it there so yeah how much does it cost to rent out uh probably a lot this guy just hasn't moved from the fucking door right aid they don't have it

and they're trying to find something like it and there's nothing comparable. We're going to be getting a fucking two-gallon thing of Mott's. God damn it. I'm going to break this goddamn... Called you 12.

Stephen Che said the capacity is 20,789. That's probably for a sporting event. It's for boxing. That's like eating three human thighs, calorie-wise. Exactly the comparison I was going to make.

So what are you going to do when Dave sells it out? I will say, holy shit, congratulations. No, you have to. You're going to ask if you can open. Yeah. That would be a nightmare.

What would his opener be? A punk? Probably fucking... Well, he said he can never do it. Why? Because he's the guy that runs it hates him. Yeah, but if he sold out... If he did it, he would be able to sell out an equal...

An equal stadium? Yeah. What's an equal stadium? OST. OST NBA stadiums? Whatever the Boston Garden is now? Yeah. What's an equal stadium? Oast? How big is the... Oast NBA stadium? Whatever the Boston Garden is now. Yeah, it's center.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden.

E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. E-Garden. Michigan Stadium. What? That's like 110,000. That's like the biggest stadium. Who's baby? That's not true, Kyle.

It's not. A lot of people. Maybe I'm wrong. Do you guys think I'm that far off? Yes. You think it would sell out in like a day? I do think it would sell out. Really?

He has like 2 million loyal followers. I didn't know it was that low. 15,000, yes. It's 20,000. I guess the difference between him and other people that have a lot of followers is his followers would legitimately die for him. Bites. Look at him.

I got a nice... You really did. It looks great. Are we getting frozen out? I don't know. It'll like us? We kind of half-assed this tenting job here too, didn't we? Yeah.

Alright, I have to go at 2.55, so we have 12 minutes this guy's got to show up. Even if he doesn't show up, we can just do it tomorrow. We'll have the Capri Suns. Is that true? Yeah, we can do that. Or we can just go buy Capri Suns. Look at the little 12-year-old sass walking away all sad. Walking like Tommy Pickles.

Sass definitely is just thinking of it from a comedian's perspective. Of like, that's the mecca. I'm surprised he kept at that take. Yeah, he's staying strong. Well, he started making more money doing stand-up than this. Yeah, true. You could tell when the shift happened. I wish he had done some stand-up in Iceland.

That would have been funny. Oh, yeah. All right, so Capri Sun tomorrow. He didn't show up. Capri Sun's Jenks. Capri Sun's Jenks. Capri Sun's Jenks. Big day tomorrow. There was something else, wasn't there?

Last day of Outback. Is Jenks coming or is he just sending the report? He's coming. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Stu Feiner. He's coming? Yeah, he has to come.

I can say no to Stu Feiner. So we'll have Capri Sun. It's going to be a packed show tomorrow. Excited. And more interns. Not tomorrow, maybe, but packed show tomorrow. Excited. And more interns. Not tomorrow, maybe, but they're here. Yeah, we have another batch. All right, yeah, look.

This guy's been stuck at this spot for... He's in a pretzel. All right, so we just got to make sure we bring Capri Suns tomorrow. All right. All right. All right, that's the act, everyone. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow It's the act. It's the act.

It's time to talk shop and do a Yankees pop. It's the act. It's the act.