The Yak - Sas Makes a Surprise Appearance in Chicago HQ | The Yak 6-11-25

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Settel - OUT (booboo)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. All right, CYAC hosted by two empty chairs. Rollback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C Joe B a C K calm polos hoodies joggers short are you taking advantage of sitting down no I didn't yeah I mean I don't know what's going on change hand. I'm just trying to finish this game. You guys started a chess game right before the Yak?

20 minutes ago. Why? Because that's, yeah. And so now you're following it onto the Yak to... Oh, I thought it'd be done by now. We're like two minutes away from it being done. Yeah, so it's over. Sit in front of us.

Who's winning? Sit on the floor. Sit on the floor right here in front of us, and don't talk to us. Just sit down and finish finish this. Oh my god Jay. Are you black or? tan hmm I Guess you're both you both not talking about your skin Jay. Yeah, anyway, uh Roebuck calm R. H. O B a.com Use code YAK for 20% off your purchase.

Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. If you're looking for a red, white, and blue polo this summer, Roback has you covered. Super clean designs. And as you know, the most comfortable polos. We don't even wear polos, but we wear Roback polos. So check them out. Check out Roback. T-Bob, let me see the board.

Let me see the board. God damn it. Yeah, T-Bob, you're fucked. Let me see the board Yeah, Che you're fucked why don't you just resign Why don't you just do the gentleman thing and resign shake his hand shake his hand say well-played say that's game All right, or don't So big cats Kate Nick and KB all part of a shoot this morning out on Lake Michigan. Correct. I believe, and they're on the way back right now. They're all fishing.

20 minutes is what we heard as far as them returning to the Yak. So the three of us put our brains together, and what we came up with was awkwardly have Stephen, Shay, and T-Bob barge into the show and play their last two minutes of chess? I just don't know. I just don't know. What's the... Is this just... The game's over. Is A-plus marketing for the Barstool Chess Club that's gonna be starting soon? What's your viewpoint back there behind T-Bob? I see T-Bob's ass and just about nothing else. Okay. He does have a great ass. Yeah. Shea has the most Asian of asses.

T Bob, are you president of Barstool Chess Club? You know, some of I don't I'm kind of like George Washington that I don't necessarily want to be president. I don't seek it, but if it is a thrust upon me, I suppose suppose I must I don't know that I buy that I bet George Washington was like me guys come on now not me yeah I could possibly I couldn't possibly do that it's like so unprepared why don't you get your ass up and sit in a chair T Bob and let's just talk and you can get down there and make a move whenever you'd like to make a move So the boys are the boys are headed this way And big head city is bringing a surprise

But cats bringing a surprise he said we're gonna be late, but bringing surprise to keep the seats open You think it might be a fish. Oh Do you think he caught a talking fish? the the the big mouth Billy Billy big Big mouth bass It would be hard to keep that a secret if you caught a talking fish yeah i feel like that would have gotten out by now but we suppose the the secret is fish related though that's right how do you put that together yeah what gives you that idea

they're coming from they're coming from a fishery they're coming from lake mich they were see i didn't do oh i know what the surprise is oh what I'm not gonna spoil it but I know what the surprise is I think I might know yeah yeah now it's gonna be a good surprise I think is it fish related but not in the way correct yeah I think I know what this so so yak fans I think we all know what the surprise I think we all know what we're laying down here. So Get ready. Yeah, get ready for the big. Wow. That's y'all had to Electric guys great content. I just want to say I'm very proud of everyone. This is an excellent way to Announce the chest that was awesome. Wow. What a way to wow

Jess that was awesome electric T Bob. Have you had your welcome to barstool moment yet? um i feel like you realize this league is crazy we can talk about the bba now right oh yeah a little bit what about the first episode sorry not spoilers not spoilers like yeah results but but that that it's yes yeah that it's no i actually uh i have a blog going up later today that i titled through the looking glass because I really felt like Alice a bit in that basketball tournament because it's like you're filming like a full on reality television show. And then I go downstairs at one point just during a day and Bert Kreischner is there and his shirt's off and Kadek's shirt's off and Oldie's shirt's off and they're shooting vodka.

So I like doffed my shirt, shook his hand, shot vodka, then just put my shirt pack on and went about my day. Then the All-American Rejects show up on like Thursday night to play a show. It was a very, very surreal few days. And one of my, I wrote about this one of my favorite experiences was nothing so extreme, but you know, I first get in here, I'm sitting in the gambling cave, Brandon's here it's early and we're talking in front of my, we're gonna be working a lot together. I got, I got to come up with something that's going to make him laugh. Something good. And

I noticed there's a Jeep outside with rubber ducks lining the dash Something that I've always found to be absolutely ridiculous saying I start going in I'm like starting to make fun of it. And what did you fucking know? It's like that's my jeep. I Tried to pull the quick like oh, yeah, I love him My kids love the ducks my kids absolutely adore the ducks. One of my favorite absolutely adore the ducks. They adore them. They can't get enough of the ducks. They see other jeeps and they're like, Oh daddy ducks. And we got ducks. I'm sorry. Do

y'all hate children? I love children. No man. Look, I, I, it's not for me, but I'm glad that you and your kids have that. No, you're not. You made fun of me relentlessly about it off camera. I'm glad that you and your kids have that. No, I mean, look, man, I don't know why you're driving a Jeep anyway. The minivan is the premier vehicle of choice. No, I'm past that age. I'm past car seat age. I'm past minivan age. Okay, well, that's fair fair It might be a younger kid thing But like I have eight different buttons that can open the sliding doors on the minivan. It's unbelievable

It's it's truly unbelievable the seats go all the way down I mean I moved up how many ways to open a door do you really need it depends what the one way? Doesn't work the the actual way to fucking every minivan Uber you ever get. Yeah, we need to be more in the same. The handle, the actual way to open a door, they fuck everything up. They'll be like, no, no, no, don't, don't. You got to either just press the button or just pop the handle. But sometimes you don't know. You're never on the same page with the driver.

So you could be, you'd be like, should I? I don't own a Honda Odyssey. How the fuck do I know how their doors work? I got to say, I just need a ride to the airport. No free shout outs. I got two murdered out Siennas, but I've had my only person has ever said that sentence at all. I Got I got my eye on the Carnival Geez, dude sexy looking minivan. It is not who makes that one. Yeah It is and of course who doesn't love Ashley Schaeffer's? Yeah

It is not incumbent upon me to make fun of you for being a minivan guy I wouldn't do that. I've been a parent before for a long time. Oh, that's the carnival I understand minivan guys, but you can as a minivan guy walk into this building and make fun of me for being a jeep guy You're you're an adult who has multicolored rubber ducks Your car that's fucking I'm a father. Yes. I'm a dad. Yes. I'm a family man. Brandon's got the car of a hot girl, for sure.

Because you also got trash everywhere. Oh, I cleaned it up. Just cleaned it up this one time. Took me out of that. Now, that is something that is damn near impossible with the kids is keeping a minivan clean. It's fucked. Yeah.

It's fucked. But the old girl's got 100,000 miles on her cracked windshield, bumper's falling off, but she done made it up here. She here, huh? Yeah, both of them are. One of them had to get new tires on the way. On the way? Yeah, on the way.

We kind of pushed it. Leaving was a whirlwind, and in St. Louis, we were like, well, you know, I'd rather my family not die. So we should- You got all the way to St. Louis before you realized that. Discount Tire is great. Better late than never. Great service, actually.

I'm surprised. How many minivans have you gone through throughout your years of fatherhood? These are my first two. My first two. 2018 and a 23. I only had one through fatherhood. I fell in love with the first one so deeply that when it time to get another car, there was not even a conversation.

My parents went through like five. So do you, do you drive to work? Yeah. Where you are right now. So there's a minivan and even when you're away from your wife, your wife is home with the kids. Yeah. You have a minivan here with you.

Yeah. We both have Toyota, Seattle minivans. I mean, I'm not a prideful person when it comes to cars. I leased a Camry for three years, which is fucking wild. I never thought I would do that. I don't think leasing a Camry is anything to scoff at at all. I think leasing a Camry for three years, which is fucking wild. They never thought I would do that Leasing a Camry is is anything to scoff at at all. I think leasing a Camry is a solid I'm saying it's a tiny like sedan. The minivan is infinitely more comfortable for me I used to have to like hit a full

Ass to the ground squat just to get in and out my my first car I could when I yawned when I really stressed out did this I could touch the back glass I could when I yawned when I really stretched out did this I could touch the back glass Window I had a I had a Ford 93 Ford Probe and I would do this and I just and traffic I just tap on the glass to entertain myself. How tall are you? I'm six four and a half to six five Okay. Yeah, I call myself six five, but I'm probably six four and a half Yeah, you know yourself aging out of the Jeep if you haven't already? I feel like you can't be like gray-haired hunchback.

I have told this story multiple times. When I met my wife in 2005, I was driving a Jeep Wrangler, a 95 Jeep Wrangler. I paid 4,000 cash for it back then. I was driving a 95 Jeep Wrangler. I met her in the summer. The top was off all summer. It was a great summer. Hell yeah. Then we got, I had the Jeep and we got married. We got married. We had a kid. a 95 Jeep Wrangler. I met her in the summer. The top was off all summer. Herd her? Great summer.

Hell yeah. Then we got, I had the Jeep and we got married. We got married, we had a kid. I had to get rid of the Jeep. The Jeep had to go. We had to get more responsible. I ended up getting a Suburban back then. But I always said I wanted my Jeep back. I wanted my Jeep back. So I got to this point in my life where I could get something and I bought a Jeep. And my 16 year old daughter just got her driver's license she's in the lobby today. Grats. She just got her driver's license Friday.

Hell yeah. And I'm probably going to give her the Jeep. So this is. So the rubber ducks will be appropriate for a child. Kind of just like stumbled into you know what do they call it serendipity? Yeah it all works out in the end. Yeah that's right. But it's almost as if it were planned like that. If I saw it coming, if I had the

foresight to see it coming. Speaking of coming, we're all bigger guys here. That's right. Yeah, definitely. Totally. That's right. Section cars. Not easy. Never been a fan. Not enjoyable. Never been a fan. Not enjoyable. Never been a fan. Not enjoyable. In high school and I've been with my wife since we were 16, so we are high school lovers, but we used to go to empty business parks so that we could, I could pop the door open and stand outside of the car because it was the only way to make it work. See, we would go to pastures.

Hell yeah, there you go. We would go to pastures and lakes and try to... Would the car be involved at all at that point or were you blanket on the ground? So there were car nights, there were blanket on the ground nights. Hell yeah. There were blanket on the pier nights. What about you Mark? You're a little more light than we are I would say, but very tall and on the left. And he makes me say this every time, he's fucked way more than any of us That's incredibly I've had sex with one woman. So that's not hard to do. Uh Yeah, car a little experience in cars. It's not it's not a play. It's it's a shower It's like it's it seems more fun in your head and then you're there and you're like and pulls. Yeah

This is why does fun like pools. I don't think fucking in tools is all Fucking in showers Like pools, I don't think fucking in pools is all About having sex in showers when you're when you're 16 years old you're like that's that's fucking off It's it's a bit ironic isn't it? Honestly got it right with the bed Beds the perfect place to fuck When you fuck somewhere where there's liquid, it actually causes everything to be a bit more dry. Dry it out, yeah.

Cause the, which, I don't know. Is that your one-one, Brandon, the bed? I would go, I would go bed. Places to fuck draft. Yeah, really? Now, I might, this might be controversial. I might have to trade up, I don't know, I would take the bed. Yeah.

I mean, it's tough to even think about. Well T-Bob, when you have the door open in the field at that point, why don't you. I would take the bed. Yeah, I mean it's tough to even think about well T Bob when you have the door open in The field at that point. Why don't you just fuck on land? because from a height perspective Let's say you were gauging in Well, I mean it's gets various positions You can make it work me standing up fully lined up nicely with where the seat was in relation to my hips Well, so it's very comfortable

I got a now. Yes, you you're we're both from the south. Yep Yeah, I don't know where you your form. I was your word, but my formative years were an alpharetta Joe Alfredo. Okay, so you were you were no law You were no further than ten miles at any point in time from a pasture or woods Yeah, are a dark road and you chose business parks. Well, it was a deal where it's like, we were still very suburbs, both me and my wife were, and so we were like 20 minutes away from each other,

and there were just a ton of empty parking lots at night. Even though, I remember the night I saw Zodiac, we tried to go, and I couldn't perform. So scared that we were gonna get walked up on and murdered or something. Oh yeah, yeah. It was, oof. Were you ever walked up on and murdered?

We were walked up on by security guards a couple times. And that's where the business park thing comes in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about on the deck of a boat? Is that interesting to you at all? I've had sex under deck, below deck I think I think top deck would be out of its out at sea out of you know It's it's it's a vast ocean. I'm a bit of an exhibition. It's gonna be able to see or you want people to see I mean I don't mind. Yeah, and I like to do a bunch of new places

Brennan is that interest you at all? Sex with T-Bob on a boat? Are we getting back to load switching? Not as much, yeah. Well, did you ever have like a lovers lane or a makeout mountain? I don't. No, like I said, in a rural town like I lived in, it was all land and it was all pastures and it was all dirt roads. Pastures. Yeah. I keep saying pastures. Cow pastures. No, nothing. I know what they are, but it, dirt roads. Pastures. Yeah. I keep saying pastures. I- Pastures. Cow pastures.

No, nothing in my- I'll say- No, I know what they are, but it's- That's where we- That's where we had our parties- It's like there's nothing but pastures. We had our parties and our sex out there. We'd make a fire and we'd make a big-

We had square pastures. Like a big bonfire party. Bonfire parties are great. Yeah. I loved- We didn't have gas stations. We had pastures. We didn't have restaurants.

With pastures. Pastures. Everyone was a pastor. Yeah, we, we have TVs back then. We just had pastors Put them out of course for entertainment. We'd go to the pastor What about so I know like did what I I'm not okay, I'm terrible at geography by far It's the thing that I'm dumbest at on this planet what I drove through to get here Is that considered the flyover states that some of it? Yeah for sure. Yeah I'm going to say, I think it's a bit of a bad rap. I was pretty stunned by the natural beauty of the drive up here. I mean, the bluffs driving through Poplar where you actually

get some elevation change, which I never- Well, Arkansas is a beautiful state. Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois. Yeah, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois. But even the farmlands, I thought you do those rolling green fields. Illinois is the one that'll surprise you. You have Chicago, and then you have six to eight hours of the same cornfield. The exact same cornfield for six hours, which I have to do it in a minute.

I'm leaving, and I'm going to go right through that cornfield. Then you always see the one little stranded farmhouse, and you look at your boys and you say, imagine if we actually lived here. Could we do it? That's right. I think it'd be amazing. There are a few things more appealing to the modern man than the fantasy of what if I was a farmer? Yes. You know what? No one you couldn't do it. Yeah but what if I was just killing the earth? Knowing I'd be so sick of it after 24 hours grinding my living out of the land

Probably being Yeah, you'd probably get sick of it like the first time it's second time. It's time to like feed the cows Well, you're waking up at 5 a.m. No matter what earlier. I just naturally have cows I mean, I'm a cow farmer. I can't be you can I mean you can farm whatever you want But I mean I figure you want some cattle no the surprise thing is back the motherfucking king is back T Bob I hate to do this yeah I'm go where thank y'all I mean I need to clean up these DJs freaking out because we don't have enough chairs. Yeah, alright, later boys. Oh, I can wait too.

No, you're here. No, no, Sess. No, you sit down. T-Bob, thank you. Thank you, T-Bob. You the man, T-Bob. What? Where should I sit?

Sit over there between the barbside titus. What's up, boys? What's up, Sess? What's up, Sess? Hey, Dan. I thought that was the surprise. Yep. We didn't say it, but. Sessy!

The motherfucking king is back. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello I was thinking about going shades, too How was it? How was it guys? phenomenal spoilers It's coming out in July, but it was a lot of fun. We'll give you one Holy shit, that's a big one. That's it right there. It's a beehive I Got a monster on the line Our Nick and KB with y'all yeah, they're right behind us. Okay. All right. All right. Let me treat out the show How's everyone doing? We talked we've been talking cars

Yeah, and fucking really as you could guess our chain t-bar play chess I start so t-bar made fun of me for driving a jeep with ducks in the windshield He has too many vans not much we've kind of vamped for 20 minutes knowing the surprise was coming Yeah, did I ever tell you guys I scratched my car the surprise is here Did I ever tell you guys I scratched my car pretty good? The surprise is here. How'd you scratch your car up? Well it's here. I think my shorts are too short. I'm gonna change them.

Your shorts are fine. KB does it every day. I'm not KB. You don't have to holler at nobody. Well I wish I was KB. Why are you hollering? Yeah I want above legs only on me. You look good too, your shorts are fine.

Yeah, but it's my legs that I hate. Sass, how the fuck are you, brother? I'm great. That's good. Fucking gassed. I hate I couldn't be out there fishing with you. Yeah, I know, where were you? I didn't get invited.

Scared, who was scared, Sass? You didn't get invited? I didn't get invited. They did not include me in the fishing content. I'm starting to suspect I'm on the do not invite list. Well, that was the first thing I think I've ever been invited to. No, it's not.

You got invited and you just never said yes. I don't get invited to anything. I'll ask sometimes if I can go. I got invited to the Ryder Cup, that was cool. Is this the first thing you've ever wanted to actually do? No, I got I did Sydney's other video. We did another video Are you gonna play in the Ryder Cup? Yeah, I Got the are you no I got the fake invite. I

Got the Kirk's not gonna play so we need you to play and I said Kirk's gonna play you fucking idiot And they said no, he's not and he need to show up and said well No, I'm not taking that invite cuz that's not a real invite and then today on the show He said yeah, I'm gonna play at least you get to do all the other big budget fun things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Steve I'm unfortunately dying to know what you're about to say got scratched recently. Oh The the car yes the only thing you've said on the show Oh the car? Yes the only thing you've said on the show. Not a huge deal but I yeah I drove my Toyota Sienna which is a big minivan in this parking lot and the spots get swallowed up very quickly it's a very tight parking lot and we have a

lot of I don't want to say a lot of we have some obstacles in the parking lot there is a telephone pole after the first block and I was making it right around that I heard a noise in which I stopped the car and I was up against the telephone pole in which case I didn't really know what to do if I went reverse I think it would have scratched it up a lot in the middle And so I just kept going and it scratched my whole side. Oh today. No, this was like over a year ago I think oh you waited till after the security footage expired smart. I feel like maybe I've said this Pft. Did it to did he did he yeah with his?

Camino, I don't remember no it was like it was like first or second. Yeah, okay, right as we moved in yeah, yeah Interesting how was it it was uh it was fun. I was on the speedboat dude Yeah, those things went scary fast He was like do you want to get it up to 70 and I was scared shitless I was like how fast are we going now and he goes 30 I was like go up to 45 and then every wave I would go off of my seat and land on my balls So I'm on I'm on like 50 ball sits today. Oh, wow. That's a lot of damage.

Mm hmm. That might be long lasting. Would Brandon have loved it? Would Brandon have loved sitting on the of the fishing tournament? Yeah, the fishing tournament on Lake Michigan. Yeah, I didn't know Brandon fish. Yeah, I didn't get invited. I would know. Yes, you did. I didn't get invited. I talked to the host.

What host? Sydney Wells. I don't know that she... She said, I wish Brandon would have accepted the invite. Brandon, is that true? Not really. It was the sun. It was a sun issue. It was a sun issue.

Well, to be... I try to hide from the sun issue a lot, but it was a sun issue. I was having sun issues too. I had to text Nick and ask for a sunscreen. It was a real sass text. Today's an unusually hot day too, for what we've had. It was a good day for the fish were a-biting. Do you have sunscreen? I'm getting toasted and then less than four seconds later,

nevermind, I got some. Dude was holding out. Your captain was hiding the sunscreen. I swear to God, I'm not even kidding. I was like, anyone got sunscreen? I'm roasting. Oh, I didn't put on a jean. Oh, I put on a taunt. And everyone's like, nah, I don't even kidding. I was like anyone got sunscreen. I'm roasting Oh, I didn't put on it and I put on a ton, but and everyone's like no

I don't have any and I'm and the whole time I'm like I'm gonna text Nick and see maybe if they could bring some like I'm gonna get fried if I don't I was Like I don't go outside like I need I'm gonna. I'm gonna get burnt bad and No one's anything and then like five minutes later our guide pulls out sunscreen. He's like anyone need any of this I was like dude. I've been asking for it and practically bacon. Yeah Five minutes later, our guide pulls out sunscreen. He's like, anyone need any of this? I was like, dude, I've been asking for it. I've been practically begging. Yeah.

Oh, man. Brandon, you would have had a blast. Didn't get the invite. And Brandon, they were a bite. You did get an invite. I, not to my power. They sent an email saying who wants to compete with it. I can't be out in the sun.

That's true. There was a lot of sun today, Mark. There was a lot of sun. You would have loved it. There's no shade on Lake Michigan. I would have loved it. You sun to the water son you would have loved it there's no shade you would have loved it you would have loved and I had the today was always gonna be the day that I was going I'm leaving after this yeah you're going south I'm going to get mama heading south so I was always gonna be the dad to go get mama I didn't know I'd even be here this long so how can you flip that box back please how's it going what do we miss today anything

good today no it's been a really shitty day at the stool really Yeah, why just nothing going on nothing all the happening dudes round name show They don't even know hair. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I never watch it. Everybody's tuned into that at that time. Yeah Kyle Kyle what's up? You've thrown an outfit today Kyle looks awesome. Yeah I mean this is the last time I can wear this but it was a propos of the event. Why is it the last time you can wear it? This is a- I'm not gonna wear this again. You have to wait. Ever? Did you buy it specifically for this? You have to wait about two years. Yeah I'll wait a while. I have a lot of one-time pieces and that's

the worst decision you can make It's just like that again. Yeah, right. This is a that again piece my best winter coat is giant and fluffy and it says Pokemon Snorlax on the back and the first time I wear it. I'm a god amongst men and then the second time it's just like okay Yeah, enough Danny's you get talked about on a name show first for summer house. I don't think specifically they might have mentioned Danny smokes, but oh No, they just they just said that uh two more have been added. That was all I heard nice I only saw the clips, but yes, thank you. Thank you for the opportunity. I'm excited to see as am I have you been acting like doucheier? It seems like you kind of have yeah, you definitely had a little bit edgier you've been a cage like doucheier? I wouldn't say so. It seems like you kinda have.

You've been a little bit edgier. You've been a KG douchebag. You picking up any latex? No chance. Danny smokes raw dogs. Danny fucks raw and fills to brim. You should bring one suitcase full of some latex. No, fuck that.

Danny smokes brings a suitcase full of... I'm flipping inside out, it feels better for me I'm nervous though. I immediately got a facetime from Nikki smokes yesterday Oh, and like you were saying how he goes a little over the line Yeah, like interns started filming the call and he's like in order to be a smokes You know what you got to do fucking intern. I was like Jesus And then he's saying he's gonna take me shopping. Oh He should bring a suitcase full of Plan B. Yeah, that's the smoke stop

Some coat hangers, I guess all set up in this room And I'll be on the couch so it'll be like the living room Maybe that's your yeah, your your pickup line is just handing a girl plan B be like you're gonna need this yeah I'm gonna fill you up you over there. I'm gonna come in you later. Yeah, hope you're not allergic to tax What are your thoughts on the tax I allergic to Tex. What are your thoughts on the Tex? I was so pissed when Trojan Ultra Thin wasn't the width. Oh hell. Yeah Latex is already thin as fuck And they always do the like when when they're like like sex ed they put it on a banana Yeah, right the fuck dude. How about maybe like two taekwondo rogas next to maybe like a bagel dog

Yeah, a little representation matters. You know It's like when they when they're always like it we need more like little you know Minority girls in Disney movies like how about how about some thinner penises? Yeah There's not much in penis representation Even like derogatory like you say you call someone a chode but never like a narrow right? Yeah, right cuz it showed would actually it's kind of not as bad Yeah, it would visually pretty powerful. Yeah, although technically It's a little wider than why didn't yeah, that's not a good

That's a bad peanut no because you're confusing wider It's width is in the length the width goes you wrap it around so it could be like a five inch width and a four inch length Oh, I thought it was just from side. That's that's a bad penis. That's a wide. It's a really bad I think you're doing circumference. I think you're not he's doing I don't know if you've ever seen it. Oh Nick. They're bad It's a can that's a chode is a bad penis. It's all smashed can you don't wanna you don't want a chode no But those chodes don't actually exist. Yeah, they do Trust me for sure yeah All in the shots, it's like Popeye shot shot shot Michael secret stuff

Now we got Brandon back. Oh, that's taking a long time to Chuck Brandon's been drinking caffeine Really? Yeah, cuz he's so tired. How you liking it? Oh, I love it gets me through the yak Just wait till the panic comes. Oh, I never never lose it. I know you're a healthy adult male. I'm sure your heart can take You could move closer don't't want to. Nope. Don't want to. How many MGs are you looking at a day? I don't know, three times whatever that was. That's a lot.

Yeah. What is that? He's been hopped up. I tried a new tactic today. I slept in. I left my house at 720. And? Got here at 915. That's not bad, Brandon. Wasn't terrible.

Wasn't terrible. Oh. And you go in knowing that you're going to be in. So I got a full night's sleep. I didn't break up my sleep. I didn't nap. I didn't do anything. So I'm going to try this tactic for a while. I like that. Were you stressing at all driving in? Like not trusting the ETA on the map or anything? No, so I did bail out about halfway during the really standstill traffic and got in the neighborhoods, which is just, it goes from bad to worse. Yeah, there's no relief.

There's no relief. You just change your frustration. Today I was able to tell myself, this is gonna be nothing, because later on today I'm driving 10 hours. So this is nothing, I'm not even worried about it. Have lot of like going live. I was like the Brandon driving home show I I could do that got some questions why I think they'll be pretty interesting is that legal. I don't know okay mounted I Like that drive with Brandon driving home with Brandon

What do you go live on because you don't really go live on Twitter and you too you can you. YouTube, you could have like the Super Chats read out loud so you wouldn't have to look at the screen. Okay, so Brandon Walker. And if somebody T-bones you, they win. Brandon Walker's daily drive. Put another show on the list. That's pretty nice. Yeah.

I mean, you're working and getting to go home. The episode where you crash would be amazing. Numbers. If you get decapitated. That'd probably be an finale though. Where you crash would be a mate number if you get decapitated that probably now though if you fly out the windshield Ten dollars, and you'll take your seatbelt off While you look at me go every five dollars he goes one mile per hour faster Flying out the windshield that would be so funny, and you're not wearing pants for some

Speedometer cam oh That would be great imagine opening up Instagram you click on Brandon's and he's just going for Thank you for the super chat his cheeks are are yeah I'm at eight G's nodding off. Oh shit. It's good to have you here Sass. It's great to see you. Good to be here. Good to be here. Fishing is your thing. It's great. It was very fun. Yeah. Is this your first time fishing LM? LM Lake Michigan. Oh Tourist alert Yeah, definitely damn yeah, so you can knock off a Great Lake knock off a lake for sure Yeah, yeah, you don't need other Great Lakes. No, but I

Thought about it Wow. Oh fuck huge Thought about it Wow Oh fuck Huge Maybe catch the steelhead run up north. Oh my god. So what's like to just think about? Superior what would that be no chance you thought of Ontario here on gotta be no way you got to hit Presque Isle up in Erie dude. It's a good spot and They're biting up there right there. They're starving They're biting up there right now. They're they're starving Was Kate with you guys yeah, did you leave her she fall in I

Don't know she might have had to go there. Yes. Wait a minute was she not in your car. No we left her oh No, no That should be us to be honest for the first like three minutes of our drive. I was like am I getting fired Why? Just me and you and I was like I was like I feel like someone else was supposed to be in no I have I have you I have car seats in my car they didn't have enough I was gonna be annoying to get all the car seats I thought sass was getting fired we're all following you and you're just like no I got sad how'd you get back did you know you're not like no I got sad

How'd you get back did you know you're not allowed to run on the highways here They forget you they who forgot you I guess nobody had extra space in their cars. Did you uber no? No, I don't I don't want to say who I rode with because they'll get speculation. Oh Dave rode you That's why you're late. Oh roadhead Hey, I think you have some penis right here Give a little bit of penis on your mouth Look at her and tell me to answer the question

Just a black eye dude you really beat up damn from what lights out back to Bad dinner too much teeth You and musk yeah Big on yeah He looks ridiculous. That was that was the last straw before he got kicked from the White House. Well, there was the report that he got physical in the White House. He tried to rugby tackle someone. Really? Yeah! That's so funny.

He tried to rugby tackle someone? Dude, can you find it, TJ? Oh, I thought you were joking. No, it was like, I don't know who the other guy was. What's a rugby tackle? Wasn't like someone a treasurer or something? Yeah, it was like an old dude. That seems like a tackle. Yeah, I don't know why it was maybe it was a bread on like the Daily Mail, so they were like rugby

Yeah, it's a safer tackle. Oh So he was being safe and roll. Yeah, very low All right, you know I must went helmet to helmet in the Oval Office Targeting it's a 15 yarder You think when you're getting into physical altercations in the White House you're like I should probably this is probably coming to this is not the place yeah yeah this doesn't seem like the place where there's a multiple strike system but there's only a few jobs where you

can get to a physical altercation yeah here yeah did when do you get one though when did physical altercations of politics stop being the norm well? That was they used to shoot each. Oh, yeah, yeah, look fucking fight musket musket rival like a Fight no no it was real they gotta they gotta have wow that right Treasury Secretary Scott Besson must thrust his shoulder in Besson's rib cage like a rugby player Besson started to hit must back and the fight had to be broken up by several eyes. That's fucking awesome There has to be video tightest under is it like Japan or somewhere. They just start wailing on each other and like Parliament I feel like a lot of all the time. They're always yeah, it was all limits crazy. Yeah, I don't always screaming at each other. Yeah, it was awesome. Parliament's crazy.

I don't know if you can find it. Let's do that in this country. I know. Don't happen. Duels. You're just like, oh yeah, I don't like you, you don't like me, let's shoot each other in the middle of town. Yeah, Lin-Manuel Miranda's a millionaire.

Yeah. Yeah, JD Vance should shoot Musk. Yeah, let's see here. Yeah, Turk is parliament. Oh, that's funny. Dude, she's going nuts! Oh, shit. He went down easy.

Oh, that guy was... There's a lot of women involved. Hell yeah. Oh, this is a good scrum. Look at that guy, he kind of looks like me. He's fighting like a pussy. Yeah up until like 1920 this is how I assume every government operator. Yeah, yeah Strongest every time the longest wait. It's super funny that like British lawyers still wear the wigs, right?

They're still wearing wigs And all they call in these what and all the really like black Zimbabwe judges wear those things the way oh why sweet Zimbabwe still does yeah England yeah one of my boys actually one of my boys just just he just qualified I think like last year or something so your boys wearing a wig. Yeah, he does it when he goes into Serious moment of your life, and you're met with that yeah To be judged I could potentially be put to death Hungry kids, and they're spending thousands on wigs. Those look expensive.

Just stop doing it. Gotta suck when you lose yours. Horsehair wigs. $2,000. Per wig. Per wig, wow. How about that? I don't know though, if I...

If you lose that, they might kill you. Yeah. You just don't have a job anymore? Where's your wig? Where's your wig? Where the fuck is your wig? You lost it? Oh, you just don't work here.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you do any ads yet? No, no, no. We can do it. It'd we're trying to show up in like another wig It's one of the fucking reggae James Redlock Casual Friday

Wear your own wig What are you talking about this has always been my always worn this you gave me two when I got hired All right, I'll do game time baseball's back. There's nothing like getting to a baseball game especially last-minute lucky for me I always use game time the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Game Time makes getting tickets faster and easier. Prices on the app actually go down the closer it gets to showtime. Plus the Game Time picks feature makes it even easier to find the great deals on the seats you want. Just pull up your chosen event and turn on the GT pick setting at the top of the screen or browse the best local Game Time picks deal

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SAS NBA finals tonight. And we're looking forward to that. Yeah. Scheduling wise. Yeah. Incredible story. Because it's been a nightmare to keep up with. Did you guys see the clip of SAS on Son of a Boy? No. Yes. Yeah Incredible store because it's been a nightmare to keep up with

It was maybe I mean it might we were we were like an hour into the episode or our so it's bonus dad bonus It was bonus content. Yeah working overtime and I told a story about how we worked we I hung out with I was with fights and Owen and Pabs we were shooting on Sunday and And I was like is the hockey on Sunday and I was like, is the hockey on tonight? And they were like, yeah. Wait, don't spoil the story. I don't wanna watch. Don't spoil the story. Don't, TJ, I said don't spoil the story.

I don't wanna tell, I wanna tell the story so that they don't, so you don't pull it up. So I don't wanna watch the story. The story's the story though. What? The story's the story. Oh, he's a story though. What the story is the story He's gonna spoil it. What's gonna spoil it and it's gonna suck We know it's watching it and you saying it he cuz he's gonna make it for the first telling of oil Francis jump first first telling of it was incredible. Okay, he's gonna spoil it here. It is, you know, it's funny yesterday

we were when we were shooting we were talking we were talking sports and whatnot as men do and We were we were like that's a laugh. I was like fights. Have you been watching the average listener? That's a laugh Watch game not us pros. I was like I'm definitely gonna watch game three tonight. Yeah, and And then we were like is basketball on tonight, too And then collectively like six of us were all like nah now basketball's tomorrow We were like damn damn, it's crazy how long of a break they have. And then I got home and I went to turn on the hockey game

and I realized that basketball was on Sunday and hockey was tonight. And it was funny, because we were all fully- Good story. Like, collective, we talked about it for like five minutes straight and we were all fully convinced. Dude. Just collectively wrong.

Are you for real with what you just said out loud Yeah, that was the dumbest most worthless. That was so not what I was expecting I thought there'd be something there. I thought it was I thought you were trolling Surely there's more than just scheduling just scheduling. That was the most zero payoff ever. Out of context it seems crazy. We had been filming

it was at that point in the show where you're like I said after that I was like if I had anything interesting to say I would have said it by now. You're getting the bottom of the barrel. Yeah, yeah. Just digging for anything. They're not helping. No. They weren't helping. No they weren't doing nothing. I thought the game was tomorrow

But ha ha it is a rare tonight. It's a rare coincidence when like six people are wrong like that Right sure yeah, I'm gonna try it on stage Not one person was like no, it tonight. Not one person. Nobody was like let's check. No. Computers in our. We were all certain. Okay. Yeah that is fucking hilarious. Yeah. You guys like text about it. I did yeah. That's why I said again they cut that out of course to make me look worse but I said right after I was like I said that in the group chat it killed. You guys all. Seven laughing actions. Oh yeah. What did you say? I was like anyone said that in the group chat it killed mmM. You guys have been laughing oh, yeah What did you say I was like anyone else looking for the hockey game?

I am I almost hit for the cycle on Text reactions yesterday in our group and oh Kyle was the one holdout. Yeah, Kyle. I will never react to your test Hold out yeah, Kyle. I will never react to your test Kyle you saw me crushing in there. It seems weird. I was crushing in the aisle does not give it up easy No, you know like cuz you'll get a lot. You'll get the greer laugh, and you're like all right that's yeah That's not getting a greer laugh is a Time to reconsider something when I don't get a greer laugh. I put the phone down for an hour. Yeah, take a minute He loves everything yeah getting the KB laugh though that's like never got it never got it never

got I was so close to sweeping the group chat I see you too often I can't be like did you think into that around me right yeah yeah give them out sometimes I've given you yeah yeah you love giving them to sad no no that's our means of communication I've only gotten one or two from Kyle yeah yeah I remember him I haven't screen-shotted it's like it's like your dad saying he loves you exactly that's what it feels yeah and then I sent one got one and then you responded to mine and you built upon it s ass and you got like four You're welcome Ratioed the build upon is tough because you know it's there for the taking you know it's scum. Yeah, you know it's a scummy

To build oh no it doesn't end there, but then they like yours, but they didn't like the foundation that was funny But it's not over If you mean to continue it Let's ask you get a cut That is like 90% of it really you can finish that So easy to add on yeah, you're not you come on. You just tell me to get on base. Yeah, just get on base Yeah, I'll not you come on. You just tell me to get on base. Yeah, just get on base. Yeah, I'll bring you home Yeah

That's to get his revenge on Francis later on in the Yeah, well sass is up like a thousand two on San Francis, and it's such a small Even it no matter who you are in the Navy don't you have to do at least 30 days on the submarine or something? I don't know am I talking out of my ass. I know that you you get like a sign to submarines and I think The Navy knows that that is a tough assignment, right? So they end up I think the pay is the best and then I think it is like a long period on and then you get A long period off interesting. I think that's the case. One conjugal too.

Not very funny. I'm just trying to honor our armed forces here. It's gotta be so intimidating to be in your mid-30s trying to impress a teenage boy that's picking lint off his arm and taking the longest rip of jewel. Play the beginning of that again. You are sucking on that. And all he wants to do is get a smirk out of your face.

Is he like, all right, I'll wait. I'm checking out. Let him have his words. Still going, still sucking. You gotta work. What's this on my arm? I think you pick some lint. That's a level of boredom that's on the pattern. When you start going pick some lint

Going for the lint the lint is more enticing. What is this? I can't have this on my arm right now This has to go right off my person ASAP. I am in the middle of this store. I'm a sucker for a You know like a like the material on the couch where you can like draw on. Oh, the best, where you can have it go both ways. Yeah, yeah. If I see that, it's over. You're not gonna get my attention back. You're talking to yourself.

Hours? Those are the best. Writing my name, redoing it, wiping it. Yeah. It's like an Etch-A-Sketch. Yeah. On a couch. Yeah, that's the kind of couch that we sit on when we record

Oh, they knew what they were doing. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to hold me back Lost to the couch. Let Harry shine. Give me on some leather If you want the full me I'm gonna be in need to be in leather No distraction. What are your demands? The fuck is the leather any topo Chico and I need It is crazy there are a lot of people that have like shit like that pretty strict Like there was a I remember when we remember we did the Pittsburgh improv and they were like there was a comedian that requested Two brand new pairs of and one no

No way ask for shoes. Yeah, ask for who'd ask for shoes, and then he didn't wear them now doesn't even wear them throw on trash Legend that's all I think the guy was telling us like as it was this was an insane thing to do yeah Yeah, oh you were just told about yeah one of the employees there told us because it like for big bands What weren't riders like partially they would use it to make sure that they were Actually like following every detail. Yeah, we want to round M&M's Yeah, we're like we want a bowl of just red M&M's yeah Yeah, like like Aerosmith or like AC DC did that because they're like if they don't do that That means they probably aren't following like safety protocols mm-hmm. Oh

Yes, this guy just shoes. Yeah, Van Halen no brown M&Ms Titanium straws and hand-carved ice balls Rihanna a plush animal prints Always a dozen incense sticks burning for Drake be so funny if one of them was just like a flashlight. Yeah. Yeah. The hilarious coloring book writer. What? Foo Fighters. Oh, Paul McCartney goes no leather. Yeah, he likes to do it. Oh.

Oh, yeah, because his wife is the, you know, she's the... She's a downer, like the whole... She's got one leg, right? Paul McCartney's wife has... Oh, he had a wife that died. Is that the one? Did he divorce the one that... I just remember she was all into like animal rights and shit Heather Mills by a bus Get all his money somebody wrapped about Paul McCartney giving all his money away well Michael Jackson I'm a botany all the Beatles

Ask Paul McCartney Lawyers and got me mother Mills fucking saw it lose her left leg between her Wow Was he dating her while she lost her leg or did he choose a one-legged woman? I asked Paul McCartney It's a pre-knop. Oh Like is this real leather? No So like Paul would be able to sit in here. Yeah, okay. That's all we'll be able to yak a big boy song What what's going on? What are you doing?

I'm trying to think about the lyrics about Paul McCartney giving all his money away to the divorce it you need another shot who? But he didn't get divorced yes. He did ask Paul McCartney the lawyers is white Google. Oh I'm not in our international players and as Paul McCartney Thank you, but was this got divorced got divorced and gave like billions of dollars away they didn't specify who though I thought they said that she died that might he might have to Well, the other one has no leg Okay, two and one-and-a-half you look at Paul McCartney's wives. Ask Paul McCartney lawyers couldn't stop Pockets had tired to to a rockets in their outer space

One-legged woman tried to sue Paul McCartney Yeah, she what huh? All right, I can't I don't know how sass does it You're so good at those jokes You guys disappointed in the Pope so far? I am. Yeah, actually yes. He hasn't done shit for me. How has he not been on Rogan yet?

How is he not? Do you want him in a bleachers? When he got announced we all thought this is a game changer and it hasn't really changed shit Yeah, I don't even I don't even need him to travel I need just like a couple funny pope clips of him speaking like all of us. Yeah, like ah, that's cool I just put a Villanova hat on that's all I've seen. Yeah, that's it

I think he's coming through the New York office next week. Oh fuck no shit. Yeah He's gonna do the whole car wash. Hell. Yes. is he allowed to do things like that. I don't think so Almost definitely not doesn't isn't he the final guy? Yeah, he's allowed to do whatever you want No, but the Pope doesn't even he doesn't answer to anybody how many times the Pope even been to America not this Pope But like any Pope not that many it's like always a big fucking deal I think if the Pope wanted to buy a summer house and with that boy gonna That's why I thought this was awesome because I thought he was gonna be the one that's yeah Yeah, you have to like all other popes don't come to America, but guess what like I'm going to America

Yeah, or like even like a holy fuck. How did Halliburton do it again? Yeah. Yeah one tweet Yeah, I have no like what's the wildest thing a 21st century pope has ever done like have they ever even made like baby burbles or peekaboo or like a funny face put on a baseball glove or how was the pope like anything out of the ordinary well footage oh not like dying or touching kids yeah, yeah, that's pretty wild. That's wild Yeah, but does the Pope get up to that? I don't think he does wearing socks at

Okay, he also has he aged like He's about to die! God damn it, we barely had him! What happened? What the fuck? That's not the same guy. He was a spry guy, he puts on the robe and he's dead! Wait a minute, he was like looking so young and awesome. He was like the youngest pope ever and then they just do that!

Aren't y'all basing it off the picture of him at the White Sox World Series like two decades ago? No! I'm basing it off the parade when he caught like the plushy of them. Because he became a White Sox fan. I thought he looked more like Joe Biden than like... That can't be him actually that was he looks whale an hour ago that was an hour ago

That was three hours ago yeah 60s I thought Guys not in this He looks worse than that royal that was in the car that paparazzi photo of the royal. Oh, yeah, which one was that? Oh where their mouths is that where they're like, oh Philip or whatever. That's the worst Oh, he was mad has ever looked it was no Al Davis Looks dead now lighting is everything he looks young here mouth and the blackness

Here there something with the mouth and the blackness The emptiness from his mouth the Al Davis picture is all time and then I a looks young like what what's the Mount Rushmore of worst? Someone's ever lost out David Jimmy Carter was up there Jimmy Carter Yeah, but Al Davis had like a band-aid on his face that refused to touch his skin like the band-aid I want to touch it. Yeah, it bandaid didn't want to touch him. The bandaid was like, gross. Ew, dude. It was like hovering on me. No thanks.

I don't want to. Hovering? Holy shit. Oh, yeah. That's his dance. Jesus. Prince Philip. He's got to get those gelatin patch things

for under your eyes. Oh, that'll help. Oh, yeah, the gold. Imagine he tossed that on and just immediately changed, back to the great color yeah he's the Jade gouache on it I need to see a high def Al Davis yeah what's what's the King's name Claude fizzle blood good the third Yep. That's gotta be it. He looked like shit in this. Oh, that top one. Oh, look at that one with his hand up next to him. Oh my god.

Is he a burned face? That's so crazy. That's the hand that has the automatic sensor of her Halloween bowls. Oh shit. The bandaid really isn't helping at all. No, the bandaid just makes it way worse Just let yourself bleed at that point. Yeah, if I take this bandage off, I'll die Out he was doing the Nellie head on there for sure

If a band-aid is keeping you alive you've got to give it up And what wait what is the King's name is that? the King's name is that? The King's name King was right now. Yeah, Charles Charles his fingers Sausage fingers those are the yeah, that was a while ago. What's he up to now? He still got cancer Ozzy wider oh That that is so many years of those are chode fingers. Yeah, that's what a chode looks Yeah, is that an allergic reaction? No, he just It really looks like it looks like someone took one of those like surgical gloves and filled it up with water. Yeah

His fingernails are about to shoot off his finger The pressure under those right my god That has yeah, I like trying to find out the worst somebody's ever look yeah how bad can you look I think we found it Oh Jimmy Carter's up there to Jimmy Carter was that guy was ugliest a face can be a guy that we were just out there yeah yeah yeah I'm sure there's some creatures out there yeah yeah I mean why don't they do that? I know they do like ugliest dog.

Why don't we do an ugliest person? There should be an opposite Miss Universe. Yeah. Missed. What's the opposite of the universe? I don't that's a fuck. It would be tough for ratings though. No one really wants to if they're that ugly.

It's just audio based. I think if they're really ugly, it would be. That would be best. Let's do an ugliest competition where It's just audio miss black hole. Yeah I mean you're looking for that kind of this black hole my do something. I like the sound of that They have to have like we'll do the interview portion too, and they have to have the worst takes the worst opinions ugliest inside and out yeah, yeah, I Mean I do want to do that for bald stool because we're doing that competition. I want to find just the ugliest dudes.

I was in a pretty serious prep meeting and they were just like, yeah, they were trying to find really bad looking men that hair probably won't even help. Yeah. Yeah. And then the yak is judging. Yes. Who gets to go. Yes.

I want my one. And Kate's the final say on it. You're all beautiful. Take my breath away. I want to vomit when want my one. And Kate's the final say on it. You're all beautiful. Take my breath away. I want to vomit when I see one. Yeah.

It's holding in. Y'all were cruising. Oh, yeah, we were. That was not the faster boats either. Yeah. We got up to 64. No. Yeah.

We were going real fast. Water. It felt like a choppy for 64. Yeah, we got airborne. It was pretty windy, 64. No. Yeah We were going real fat water. It felt like I'm choppy for 64. Yeah, we got everybody windy. Yeah It's funny Brandon because actually like the faster you go the less the You feel the chop. Mm-hmm Why are you mansplaining that to me like that? Well, you weren't there. Yeah. Well, no, I wasn't there But that's really have you ever been in a car? I've been in a car and on a boat. I've been on many boats. You know that speedometer thing?

Yeah, I got that. Okay. And I know what you're talking about. 64 miles per hours. My dude had like, his had like a gas pedal like a car. Yeah, this one, yeah, the one we were in did too. Sick. My dude was Kate.

We just chilled outside of the water. We got to walk around. Yeah, so you guys were a sideline reporting we were in the middle of the lake yeah we were in the middle of traffic I genuinely thought we were gonna be on a boat today you packed for a boat I had all this I was so excited wait your sideline reporting why weren't you on a boat that went up to the other boat never We never saw a boat, so it was... It was fun. It was fun.

It was. Were you guys both late? So wait, I was on a boat and I was like, all right, we're gonna check in with Kyle and Kate, and I threw it to you guys. What did you... You'll have to watch and find out. We did our damn thing.

We did. They gave me a pole, so I got to carry that around. Yeah, and then you got a text on the drive back. I lost the pole. They said, where's the pole? How did you lose the pole? I don't think I lost it. I think they lost it. And our cameraman Tom Lay hooked himself with it. Like right through the hand.

The pole was like a pointless nuisance that we were just stuck with the whole time. It was great. Did they have to rip it out of the hook? No, no, he got it out, but he cost a lot. Have you ever hooked yourself? Never. Really? Never.

I mean, I've gotten like, but never through the barb. You've never hooked yourself? Never through the barb, no. Have you ever gushed blood? Yeah. Really? I believe you. I'm sorry for asking.

We should have known when my worst gush Was I was in eighth grade, what are we all picturing in our heads? Yeah, razor-scooter scraped me seepage close it was pretty much like that I Was in gym and we had like a rollerblading day. Today we're gonna rollerblade. I got it. I played hockey, so I was pretty good at rollerblading. And there was like a gap between sidewalks

and I tried to go super fast and jump over them and I did make the jump but then I skidded out and I was going so fast, like you could see my skin on the sidewalk where my knees were just dragging through pavement. So how old were you? I was probably 12. So do you think if we were able to look into that moment it would look as bad and as intense as you're picturing it?

Yeah, the blood went down, My socks were red with blood. Oh wow. Skin everywhere. Yeah. You could see the trail of skin. You could see, I swear to God, you could see a trail of skin. You left a trail of skin.

My knees, I probably could find photos of it. I had to stop playing hockey for the season because I couldn't have anything up against my knees. Season ender. You were out due to boo boo? This was not boo boo. I'm telling you I got- Settle out boo boo.

You asked- Howie. Major ouchie. KB asked if I had ever gushed and that was when the blood is going from your knees to your socks, that's a gush. That's gravity. Where's the scar?

Sass, sass. You can see him if you look close. Like someone who tears his elbow. like yeah, I'm getting surgery mine I'm thinking about getting a band-aid maybe I'm getting a second opinion You guys asked the question I answered that's what I want it I Got word stories if you want to hear what's your worst injury? I broke my arm bad

Damn and then oh I didn't that sounds crazy that didn't even hurt though Well, I get hurt, but the worst they had to re break it. Oh while I was awake How they just like they they was there was an x-ray over my arm and there was like a live feed of, they had to like inject numbing shit into my bone to re-break it. And I watched on the screen, like the needle getting closer to my bone and then it hit my bone and it was like

the most intense pain I've ever felt. How did you break your arm? I tripped. Damn. I tripped while running to while running to class oh Dork, I know there's my second day at school. Oh what grade fifth grade oh damn Dropped all your books to oh yeah, no one else everywhere. They went everywhere. Did you scream? Yeah, definitely

I didn't cry, but I run scream Yeah, I like home on it are helping you up Damn sucks. I'm sorry to hear that all good all good. I'm working through it in therapy It's tough you'd have to go through oh Not an emergency time probably not but Yeah, was not prepared for the fuck ton of appointments no endless Not an emergency. Baby time? Probably not, but. Baby appointments. Yeah. Was not prepared for the fuck ton of appointments. No.

Endless. I can imagine. So. Yeah. Best of luck. Good luck. Thanks, Kyle. That means a lot.

Probably weighing up to a dollar. I was waiting for someone to say that. Yeah. Yeah. I said practically the baby will be here. Maybe we'll be time. I'm worried it just entered my mind that It's Friday the 13th. Oh

I was born on Friday 13. I know Brandon you fucking Walker coming out. You're like the most equally very lucky and unlucky That's a very good way to describe it. There's no in between. That is a fair assessment. Yeah. I got the biggest lucky thing to ever happen to me, and it just opened a door to just some shit things to happen to me.

Yeah. All right, boys. Good luck. Good to see you. Good luck. How's the attire? Bruce's game was great. They treat you right?

Right behind the dugout. Braves win? Braves lost. The Braves were awful. They treat you right right behind the dugout when Braves lost the Braves were awful They lost four to one you get heckled for wearing brave stuff. No no they were everybody was not Milwaukee people are super nice Milwaukee is my favorite city on earth They were super nice. It's a weird one I was I was I was right next to Tommy. Your arms look big, too. Nice arms. Yeah, I look good.

That fucking woman in front of me. You said right behind home plate. I see seats in front of you. I said right behind the dugout. I was row four behind the dugout. Are those the players? I was row four behind the dugout. That guy's in the dugout.

What team are they on? Those guys are in row two behind the dugout. I recognize those guys. The guy in the hat is in row one, two, three, four. So you row two behind the dugout. I recognize those guys. The guy in the hat is in row one, two, three, four. So you're close to the dugout. I was right behind the dugout. Did you have some good Braves banter with that guy? Were you like, whoa, Braves. Well, right behind the dugout was all Braves fans. So it was good. Everybody got along. Everybody, you know, it was a good time. We left in the eighth inning. Nice. Yeah. Once

we saw a... Right before it got slightly interesting? No, it was never interesting, really. It wasn't a great game. The Raves couldn't do anything. What you put down food-wise? A couple hundred dollars worth. Bag of popcorn. Bag of popcorn, some nachos, two things of cheese,

curds, a hot dog, and a brat. That's pretty good for $100. Salad. Yeah. It's a shit ton of food If my actual order was It took about 25 minutes to do the order because there's six people So I had to get three chicken tenders three hot dogs. Oh you sold them out you shot them down Yeah, and then I got six ice cream helmets with six different ice creams

So it was wait you're the food you listen was just yours First round the firstol of items was yours we were there three and a half hours I thought that was you you're breaking a fast when you arrived I'm sorry let's break it down again I said I had I said I had a hot dog a brat a thing of popcorn cheese curds two orders of cheese curds and I forgot the chicken sandwich I had right when we got there That's Brandon. That's three. That's four meals. No, it's not a hot dog at a game. It's just a hot dog at a game That's not a long dog Standard dog when the doctor puts the stethoscope to your chest today. Just hear a scream

Did they just hear a scream? Help! Fuck! It doesn't have to. Put it to my chest. Oh my god! I don't even have to go to the doctor, he just holds it up to the phone. Yeah, we had a great time. Brewers games are terrific.

Big, huge stadium. It's not always full and it's just comfortable. It's just a great time. Are there any stadiums that are consistently consistently full these days outside of regularly is bananas, of course The bananas they'll be like the bananas are doing a Coliseum in Rome It's fucking back to the gills I think they did Phillies football They're gonna like sell out the Grand Canyon Because they're dancing and it I mean no offense, but it just looks

Untaken Look like my cup of tea who's going? of tea who's going you would be the most happy person on the planet at a bananas game they would find they like I'd be on the jumbotron and find my face you'd be like Jack what's make this guy smile yeah I've has anybody been to one no three they're coming to Starkwell and sees a ticket holder my mom wants me to buy her tickets to it that'd be funny like a like someone who travels with like the great I've been the fucking they have games this year Southern middle-aged mob mothers yes, yeah travel of the bananas they get like

Tamely horny for them Southern moms with 12 year old boys fucking love them that's insane. I bet the cougar market for these guys is bananas. What are these venues? Football stadiums. Great American ballpark's baseball stadium. Louisville Stinger Field. I know I'd be delighted by it. I'd enjoy it. What's Coca-Cola Park?

That feels big. Starkville, there's Starkville right there. Oh, they're coming to Chicago. Couple tickets left. I gotta go to that Starkville show. Steven, you wanna do the DraftKings read? Sure. See you big cat.

I mean, this is like, that's in the Conor. That they make more than I'd imagine 70% of countries on earth. Are their players making MLB money? No. They have to because they're selling out. If there's a ton of them. I bet their merch is crazy.

There are two teams. There might be like one or two that are big, but I think most of them are kind of just like a roster. Yeah, are there any divas? Nobody knows any of their names. Oh, right. Are they replaceable or can they trade? Is this going to be like the ancient one?

I think they just pick them up like town that they just go, they're gay baseball players. Are you gay? Are you super gay but decent at baseball as in you could hold the bat Stop by the fucking he's got a hell of a swing, but he's hardly gay Sorry, you gotta cut they gotta do a bananas hard knock where they sit him down This is the team that cut show hey, Otani cuz he wasn't nearly game Being the gay coordinator for the bananas definitely got one a team Yeah, it's like the best in the biz they'll go open it'll make you gay as fuck

They'll open an office soon, and we'll see like the drone shots. Oh like do you perfect? Yeah, I? Do think the dude perfect the kids were raised on do perfect are now the Savannah Savannah bananas teenagers Are there teenagers that actually are Savannah banana fans like 11 12 year old? Yeah, early thing their thing is just it stops them being hot It's them being sexy. No, they're lip-syncing and dancing I think it's hot and sexy for the parents, but the kids fucking love it kids do love it Yeah, I guess the kids might get every clip. I don't know hey. This is a little leak No, I don't know man

If I was a kid and they were doing that I think I'd be like guys this is weird as fuck You would be all in You have your roller skates on and rip up to the plate. I mean they may as well just start doing like Phantom of the Opera, it's it's a plan. How is is that the next step they're acting they're there in theater they're doing theater now I mean they're the Globetrotters that's they were they acted for what eight or nine decades that's my question all I see is them dancing like choreographed in like a really hot man a really hot but what are like the tricks some of the hot they do an outfielder

will be a fly ball and he'll do a back watch you do that Plays I believe like do something like a trick plays a stat in banana Yeah, that's awesome, but how often can that happen every play they try to do it Oh, they do and that guy was just like they're all just the hottest dude you've ever seen. Yeah Unimaginably hot like a ground ball a shortstop the shortstop would field it and then he would like Dribble it between his legs and try to do a behind-the-back throw and the first baseman tries to do a backflip catch and the umpire does a scissor kick into the out when the ump stands to When the out when the ump stands to it makes my blood boil, you know, it's us This is a gay what's gay about this

This is a gay what's gay about this Bray about the dancing banana man you guys might see me there with like posters with like homophobic In the outfield instead of a defense sign it's a cigarette I'm not I simply said shit talk they do more than day. I think it's important to be sexy There's a market for that. Oh, yeah, it's very important to be sexy. I do have a major question though We need a fat guy. What is who plays against the bananas the wild they have four teams now And they're expanding to six teams, and I think they want to expand past 16 They want to make this baseball They're trying to make banana ball have like a banana ball cup there where there's tournaments and they're there

They're they had there's a guy that wears a yellow suit and a hat That's like the figurehead of the bananas and he have a monkey he always goes on podcasts and stuff and has like very very clear visions about the future of Banana ball we see this guy I'd love to see this guy I Think it's impressive like it'd be hard. I'd love it. They put if TJ pulls up this photo. It's like a 13 year old boy Yellow commissioners probably three boys With a big overcoat oh here comes commission

By the way you see there's another Rizzler. What? What? He's just a little older. That's the Kamish-er? Oh, I don't like this guy. Oh, I like him. Uh-uh.

I don't like this guy. He's a billionaire. What's wrong with him? I don't know. That's his... You're looking at the most powerful man on the planet. He might be. What's his name?

Jesse Cole. He has a likable face. Sorry, I like him. I'm in on Banana Ball. I don't think we couldable face. Sorry. I like him. I'm in on banana I I don't think we could find somebody you dislike and that's that's the biggest compliment to you. You're a good person He'll fuck up big. Oh, you don't like Nicky Smokes Nicky Smokes. Yeah, you genuinely hate it. Yeah, you're in front of us It would be hard. Like I don't think I could hit a curveball mid-twerk I don't think it would be hard. Like I don't think I could hit a curveball mid-twerk

No, I don't think they throw curveballs like you like a cartwheel into a turning a double play like that would be really hard but so like like when they're doing it because I've seen videos where it's like The players are dancing on both teams, right? The umps are dancing like so is that like do they have like one big locker room where they're like, let's go over I think they do I think they rehearse. Yeah Yeah, but like is it competitive at all? That's what I like to guys get heated or like argue with the I think they like how much money could I put on? Is there like a bench clearings that allowed? I think they're like throwing meatballs to each other too for home runs

I'm gonna go crazy, but they don't know who's gonna win every beforehand or do they every time? I think I saw a video of a boy because the bananas lost really yeah It's like a time thing I think it's like every inning is timed and then you win each inning or something like they're they're throwing there's there There's they're very very quick in between pitches. That's it. That's that's part of it. This boy was weeping How mad how mad would you be if you if one of you guys brought your kids to the Savannah? Destroy watered like 17 to 2 The banana they're crying. I want like a defensive battle pitchers

Just some nasty and the bananas didn't have it today someone new buys the team fantasy baseball and that league would be hilarious though because I just have all the bananas yeah yeah I'll take a banana I'll take one of the bananas first pick. They gotta come do a bananas gauntlet. They could... They could wiggle it up. What? We've done dumber shit than that. I don't know if those are the guys you want in the office.

Because like they'll like... Like I feel like they... I don't know. We want the Savannah bananas in this office. If we can get them. Yes. Yes. Yes. I feel like you guys will try to make jokes

about the bananas and they will not know what's funny. No, the man in the yellow hat will get pissed. I only make jokes when people aren't around. Hey Dan. I will suck these guys off. Locked you out here for a minute. What's so funny about? Are you trying to embarrass the bananas?

Yeah, you bring my guys in here, it would be fun if you invited them and like all of them came. Like all of them. Every banana. Every banana. Yeah. We should break down tape.

Yeah. Why'd you twerk here instead of round round off you think that was a smart decision That's you should come over that day. You should come out for banana day. Hell no and face and face my words Those guys would kick the shit out of me And all I want to do is be friends with those hot dudes there probably are some like banana fans out there that are savages Oh, yeah, they're gonna be in our DMS banana hooligans how could you think you're all fucking cool hiding behind the bananas from your mutt with your mic they're actually really good at baseball yeah they've all played getting on somebody for liking them now and

bandwagoning because they're good yeah you don't even remember when they went oh and fucking remember I don't know how many games their seasons have Yeah, what's their worst season? Yeah, were they I mean was it you? Were they playing the independent league or something they started as pure baseball right they started as a as an independent league baseball team Yeah, it's like a college summer league And they got one gay dude, and then it spread like a virus It's like a college summer league and they got one gay dude, and then it spread like a virus

One dude did a tick-tock That was it. I noticed what you're doing in practice was pretty gay Teach me that we tried in a game Or that around here Keep that up to be wearing that see on your jersey by the end of the season who's the Derek Jeter of the cap yeah walk off and they just tosses the back Oh Again, all right here. We go hating not hating as they deserve It's like it's not for us exact at all. I get why they do it Yeah, like I'm sure my kids will like it

But the thing is I know there's at least a couple of them that won't accept that it's a kid's thing Uh-huh, they're like dude tons of adults are watching. Look at the chicks on You're a hot guy. Oh They are good. She's embarrassed. You're a banana. Yeah, I heard it's overwhelming. Yeah. Yeah, you said that overwhelming pussy They've had a couple guys go to like rehab well the stuff they do work. Yeah, okay, they can't bring it home They can't be Violently straight

Please I don't want to bring work home with me somebody bring me some pussy It's like a guy yeah working at a butcher shop I just want a salad. Babe, can we watch Love Island after the day I had? Put on porno. Put on the fucking porno. Had a long day at work. It is funny though, because they've been around for, I mean, how many, they've been

around for a couple years now. Longer. Because I remember, before this iteration, I think they were, yeah, like a real, I actually don't know anything about them. I don't know why. They definitely started real. Really? Oh, like a minor league. They were real, yeah, minor league. Sucks for the dudes that were on that team that actually were trying to get to the MLB. Yeah, right. I'm almost there accomplishing my dream. And now you touch.

And the coach comes in one day. Yeah, and you tell someone, yeah, I played a little ball back in the day. You're like, where? Savannah Bananas. Yeah. Oh, shit. It was before, it was before.

Do the dougie for me. Yeah. Oh, no way, dude, shake your ass. Yeah. Oh, no way dude. Shake your ass. Yeah Oh, so they started in 2016 so they weren't around forever What did you think they were they came up with like the Red Sox? The Boston Braves. Yeah. First the Savannah Bananas Composey. Should've seen when Satchel Paige struck out the side against the Savannah Bananas, that's ironically how baseball did start like circus acts. Yeah, it's to be like Clark's lumps real arm storm Yeah, yeah, that's interesting composing composing was he's in the NBA Hall of Fame to right

Is there somebody who's in two Hall of Fame's? composing composing I know all the 1900s baseball players had the 1900s baseball players had Hilarious whistle dick and Cumberland sweet dick Johnson rusty cunts Imagine like a eight-year-old Cumberland. This is my son Cumberland. This is my baby. That's like the oldest name It's a mountain range yeah, but this is probably before cum was cum. You know oh, yeah Oh, definitely definitely when the cum become cum. Oh, I think recent yeah, why do we call it? I bet your mom's older than cum yeah

Your mom's older than cum Probably in like the 90s comes been around my whole life 20 oh 20s I've always known about calm 1650 okay yeah they were coming back in George Washington came I'm gonna come Ben Franklin had come fiesta at his house thou cometh thou shall but jizz has to be new jizz has to be new you'd be surprised

can jizz rent a car? it's the first carved word it's in the bible when did jizz come out? when did jizz drop? feels like feel like eighties 88 what energy all right what about bust Jism is a word. Yeah, oh yeah bust bust for

Bull bust probably came out bust a nut though bust and not that was 90 Snoop Dogg was busting nuts It was all Jizzing and he never wrapped about jizzing though. He wrapped about busting a nut. I bet he's wrapped about jizzing I've never heard come on say jizz. Yeah, you've only ever heard Snoop Dogg say pop busting not but I'm sure he said a lot of things I don't remember jizz from Snoop. Oh snoop said jizz a lot has he jizzle that's he's not talking about jizz when he talks about jizzle jizzle Jizzle is jizzle is not jizzle jizzle is the Boston nuts 1930s. It's the verb of jizz It's yeah, so to get jizz you have to jizzle. Yeah, you jizzle some jizz out Yeah, so to get jizz you have to jizzle. Yeah, you jizzle some jizz out

Coming up on the bus to not 100. Oh are we about to who should celebrate 100 here? What are you wearing right now? baseball jersey all the basketball team logos yeah Yeah, I gotta hit the DK Reid to you didn't do it we're reacting we're reacting I him go. NBA finals finally here and this is your last shot to win some real cash before the season ends. It's the simplest way to get in on the action. Download the PIXX app from DraftKings. It's crazy simple. Just pick more or less the stats for two of your favorite players and boom, you're in

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Way to go. Dude, fishing is tiring, I'm tired. Yeah, the Sun you got some Sun big cat. I didn't put on any guys green Halfway through I was just like whoops Yeah, I am Catch any other Gulf Stream Dude, so they got they got out basically like ten minutes before they would have had to stop That's crazy. That's fishy. Did they both go fishing afterwards, too? Oldie was there he doesn't oldie doesn't sleep. Yeah, that guy's just built different

Yeah, oldie went straight from the Gulf Stream to The fishing tournament and oldie was not I this is in a spoiler. He wasn't in the fishing tournament He was wearing a gigantic bass Costume that looked like he was sweating his balls It was I Tapped to the back of his mascot costume and it made like a splat. Yeah Yeah, so wait the Gulf Stream so they they got Tate hit both of them. Yep Ten hours also Tate was one of the worst tapes I've ever seen that's what I was getting

What was it? Yeah, I mean so Tate this is actually I'm saying this in a compliment complimentary way cuz this is a Monday I guess they were doing a pick six thing And someone mentioned McJesus and Tate was like who is that? He didn't know that Connor McDavid was McJesus And I I explained on the stretch. I was like, I think Tate's brain is 99.9% Ohio State football. He doesn't have room for anything else. And then this happened, I was like, I was vindicated so quickly that he just doesn't know how golf works. Oh, the hole. This was alarming. Does that count? It would. If gotta go gotta go it hit the flag

Like hello That's one it doesn't matter that's gotta go in the Say like takes take sports out of it even if you were like a kid could be like Oh, come on! What? That's insane! Take sports out of it even. If you were, like a kid could be like Oh, obviously the basketball is supposed to go in the hoop. In the hoop, yeah. Yeah, but like hitting the rim and being like, does that count? Yeah.

That's insane. When do other sports like golf get banana-fied? Well, Liv. Soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Liv is already there. Like their team names and everything. I mean the basketball obviously already had the Harlem Gulltrotters Tennis has an old guy that goes around playing doubles and doing funny things. Okay. He's like an old Italian man I think I like that He does tricks and stuff. He's a squat fella. I

Mean yeah, XFL wasn't enough. No, no, they tried football football just not gonna you can't On the line like that football would be awesome though Like how so if there was just do the Harlem Shake and then just get concussed over them. Yeah, just just Bomb it out their brain. The problem is fake football and fun football will never be as good as real football, correct baseball I think him I feel like hockey with figure skates could be interesting. Ooh. Hockey could be fun. That's just figure skating.

Maybe with ramps. Hockey with ramps. Have they ever done a game where they've made like figure skaters play ice hockey and there has to have been like that. I think of D2 the Mighty Ducks. Woo woo woo Kenny woo. That's what it is. What if football was like in like a bowl?

An actual bowl? No, no like a like a half-pipe shaped thing or run on a bristol speedway? Stunts if there was like some obstacle courses on a football field I would watch if like every other player was terrible besides one who just ran all over them Yeah, high school football. One quarter is toddler running back or something This is all just Jude Perfect did this to all of us, right? Jude Perfect led to the Savannah Bananas. Right, that's what I'm saying. Jude Perfect is the start of this. They've been in the game for a long time.

Forever. Hard My Take was on the video board at Milwaukee last night. Really? Why? They had an either or segment where they had a player, it was Aaron Savalli, a starting pitcher and they're like, chicken tenders or hamburgers? He's like, hamburgers. Pepsi or Coke, Coke, whatever,

and it just kept doing it like that, did like 10 questions, and then it was Rogan or Pardon My Take. What'd he say? He said Rogan. Oh, what a dick. And I audibly booed him in that moment. Thank you.

I booed him. Thank you. So. Bullshit. Yeah. Butch, what about you, Rogan or Pardon My Take that's what about you Rogan or pardon my take PMT love the rogue company man your first time on Rogan's gonna be so awesome promoting tires season 11 It's gonna be so awesome sass I know have you thought about what you're gonna say no

I don't think I don't think I'm going on Rogan anytime I think you will eventually now. Do you think there's a 0% chance? No, I don't think there's a 0% chance But I don't think there's a chance at all right now right now. Yes, zero I just need to see the clip of you vaping and picking lint off Rogan talks about the UFC Yeah, that is a worry I don't know anything about the UFC. Yeah, that was a worry. I don't know anything about the UFC. Yeah, that was when Dave went on. He just got bodied by the yeah.

And he doesn't get Rogan doesn't know anything about any other sport. A lot of up-and-coming comedians probably have to like cram some UFC, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Do you see honestly more important than getting up our guy? Oh, fuck Rogan up. Oh, I think he's like, oh, this is a hot streak. He fucked my bag. Honestly more important than getting up our guy owes fucked Rogan up. Oh He fucked him up he didn't look happy about it all he was like legitimately pissed yeah, I would be too I'd be like

Kill this guy yeah, and he could do that Joe Rogan had some which yeah, he had some fucking Salem 1600s in his eyes big time yeah, this is, yeah he was pulling out all the tricks on Rogan. Joe Rogan, uncontrollable optimist correctly guesses ATM program, I don't like that. Yeah that's exactly what happened. That's a funny quote. Yeah. Yeah I don't like that.

I don't like that. And then when O was brought up, the UFC and Rogan was like, Oh B! I love the UFC. That and Rogan was like, Oh, be. I love that's my favorite. I watched back the O's PMT and I forgot. He because like my wife saw the clip of him on Rogan. I was like, yeah, we've had him on. And so we watched it.

And I forgot he tried to guess my passcode for my phone. And he got it wrong. But he guessed my PIN code right because I was thinking about my PIN code when he was doing it. What? It was so insane. You were actually thinking about it.

I was thinking about my PIN, my ATM PIN, instead of my pass, I got them mixed up. And so he guessed it, and he tried to do my phone, and it didn't open, and I was like, wait, you just guessed my PIN. That makes me thinking way more that it's real. Isn't that insane you guys now believe that he does Read minds. I was thinking of a completely different thing and he guessed that correct and the thing he was trying to do got wrong But I was only thinking of the pin code. I don't think if somebody could actually say minds They would be like publicly

No, you do some sly stuff. No, he's good with questions. He knows he's got tricks He's a good person. He's making money off what he's doing. This would be like the most ethical way to use it Right, but like if you could really read minds you could be a lot richer, right? You could be so powerful. Well, he can't read minds He just he can read minds after asking a lot of questions. But he read your mind. But he was asking questions. And I was thinking about it. What kind of questions did he ask

that led to knowing your PIN code? I can't remember. It was just like... Has anyone fallen into a wormhole? How do they do this? I feel like you can only figure this shit out if you go to an old librarian. You read an actual book about it.

You crack open a book, you have to blow the dust off it. Yeah. Someone was showing... Reading the mind. I saw one clip. Someone was showing... Reading the mind. I saw one clip where someone was showing some of the tricks. I feel like hypnosis might be involved a little bit. He's good at... What he's good at doing is he'll do like...

Like if he gives you an envelope and it'll be like, it's random, you've never seen it before, and he'll be like, here, just because we don't want anyone to think anything, like I'm not going to touch it, and he'll touch it while he's saying he's not touching it. He'll do shit like that, where you're listening to him and not actually taking in the fact that he's doing the thing he's saying he's not going to do. Got it. Which is smart.

Sounds easy. Yeah, I mean, we're all stupid is pretty much what it comes down to. When I was at the kids hospital, I was there for a while. And they would always have a magician come in. And I had been there for like a couple weeks, I'm like, all right, same old trick. So eventually I started to try to figure out.

And I later learned that they'll have like one deck of all like eight of hearts, and then under it will be the real deck. And you have to pick from the top, or otherwise you fuck it up. And I finally cracked the code. So there's gotta be something there with with owes I Hope it is something yeah, I think he's really good at whatever that is what if you next time he comes in you just think

About him, but ass-naked You and he's like stop quit it I don't I go I'm fucking Are there other mentalists, I don't know yeah Great car guess yeah really liked him Stevens a big mentalist guy well That's a type of magic, but he is the best one like a lot the guy From our school guy from Camp Arsenal. Yeah, I guess he was it was a kid he's a mentalist yeah he was good so if you could actually read minds what would you how would you become a billionaire yeah I think it would be awful I don't think

what would you do what would be yours your strategy say I wanted to become a billionaire yeah you just like people would just be you just hear people talking shit about you all I bet. You'd be really depressing. Yeah, nobody likes me Yeah, um how would you become a billionaire? If you were around a rich person and you were like maybe trying to please them a circle legally your pussy When you do it actually You could really influence you could maybe do it gambling Like if you could if you go that would sit in the stadium and be like the coach is just sitting there

being like we're fucked today. What about poker? Poker, poker is the one. True. We got no answers for these guys. Or like do you read the quarterback's mind who's like I'm not seeing it at all. Yeah, I would have unfortunately.

I'm nervous. Yeah, I'm nervous as fuck. This is a defense I've never seen before. I bet you that's a lot of quarterbacks. Like, I'm fucked. I don't feel like playing today. Patrick Mahomes, I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack. Yeah, Poker would be one.

Yeah, I've never thought of it. I wonder if they get like, do you think they get nervous? Yeah, you can see it. I mean, the Sam Darnold seeing ghosts. Doesn't Josh Allen puke before every game. I think so I think so yeah I Mean so as I was allowed to gamble you think I? Think right yeah unless like I think books can ban you hard counting kids is banned. Yeah Those dudes did the card counting that book was awesome bringing down the house the card counting being banned up like that Yeah, it is kind of dumb

I figured they won the game right at the game. They're good at memorizing the game You can only play if you're bad because I've tried card counting. I lose track like two hands. Oh, yeah I'm just like oh, I'm out. Yeah, I just card counting like I'm like I feel like I've seen a lot of Kings That was either two or three. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. I guess I will. Yeah. If you don't have it down to the exact. Yeah. You're fucked.

I feel like maybe. Yeah. Those guys were awesome, though. It really is like it's crazy that they were like they beat it. Yeah. And then they were like, no, you can't do this. Yeah. Or they would just start doing like like way more Packs cuz like that was like when I think There used to be like two-hand shuffle deal in some Vegas casinos. Yeah, like card counting on that. It's pretty easy

Yeah, that makes sense They've single deck blackjack right now. Do they? Yeah. There's different ways to signal hit and stand. What do you mean? I think you have to like sweep your cards on the table. And that's, that's you want more. I believe. I've only played it once or twice.

But it is definitely weird. Is you loving casino table games the most Asian thing you do That is the most Asian thing about you definitely outside of my hair I don't think I could be your hair could be way more Asian. Oh, yeah color hair color hair color. Oh What about your number one on your hair? What about your face? Who from the jury oh yeah, you look just like this That was I zoom in cuz I was oh, I thought on his Stephen Chay shit

I thought it was like I got quigs like yes Assumed it was a mashup no He's just becoming Stephen Che and even when you zoom all the way in I was like it's still Stephen Che Hey, I zoom too. Yeah, I couldn't find any mic in that Steve. Yeah, I'm canny uncanny GTR Yeah, did you guys so TJ sent it to you. There's a new Rizzler.

He's a little older. Oh yeah. Tony Cash. Did Hoopify get you on this? No, I don't know. I think he just hit my algorithm. Hoopify got us on who? Big, this guy and then Big Curtis.

Big Curtis, yep. Play a video. He's just's just Rizzo or older It's not gravy. It's sauce Gravy's brown Italian kids No, no Gracie's pasta and meatballs I Don't want anything to do with this argument no more the Rizzo are like like this new Rizzo They gotta have like AAU clubs for this

Being the Rizler we have different hair He's from New Jersey. I'm from New York We both have different personalities And I'm just Tony cash not the Rizzo Yo guys guys yo guys only cash he might be more talented I was at the deli getting a sandwich and the guy behind the counter goes would you like some mozzarella on it? I said yo guy. Are you out of your mind? It's mozzarella Don't disrespect my culture Dad's in the corner with a gun

Different it all it looks like there's again another one What do you think real Italians like from Italy think about like I always have to make fun of it right a completely different variant It's become a completely different thing. Yeah, the strain mutated something. Yeah. They hated Jersey Shore when it first came out. Really? Remember that?

Yeah. A misrepresentation of the culture. As I showed my cousins from Galway my Celtic tramp stamp, they're like, why? Yeah. What is that for? It's to honor you. Yeah, it's for you guys. Right above It's to honor you. Yeah, it's for you guys.

It's right above my ass to honor you. Yeah, that's... Potato famine. Whatcha lookin' at, Brendo? My... well... I am lookin' at how long it's gonna take now. What do we got? Ten hours and five minutes.

Are you stoppin'? I'll stop to get gas, that's the only stop I'll make. Oh wow, what a beast. You have a full car? Right now I do, yeah. I'll have to stop once with this car. Okay. I'll have to stop in probably Paducah. What are you doing for Father's Day? I'll be back by then. Okay. I'll be back, oh, I know what we should do for Father's Day. What? Get some Shake Shack. Yeah. Sometimes the simplest things are the best. Shake Shack is offering a buy one double Shack burger. Get another free. Something for us dads and a little something for the gift giver. Just use code DADMODE from now through Monday, June 16th. Terms apply so go right now Shake Shack, DADMODE and you get a buy one double Shack burger.

Get another free. Mm-hmm I'm are you gonna be back so you can be able to hang out Yeah, I'll be able to hang out also. I had a double shack burger for lunch, and it was fucking amazing. It's so good It's so good shake Shack. It's so good. I Should be back. I think we're I'm driving down tonight. I got to go to a retirement party tomorrow and then Friday We're coming back. So how is it? How is it a retirement party if she's gonna get a job? It's a retirement party from that job She has now got it. He's been with the Clay County Courthouse forever. Oh, wow. Yeah, so she'll be kind of sad

Yeah, so she's retiring they're throwing her a party. I'm calling a retirement party. Is she does she have any like Not trepidation, but like, this is a big deal? Yeah, she's got some, I don't know about regrets. Has she ever lived in the North? No. She's got some, you know, she's 68, she's moving out of small town Mississippi

for the first time in her life. She's got some, should I really be doing this to her? You were sad when you left, right? I'm sad now thinking about it. Did you go right from Mississippi to New York City? Yeah. I mean, I had been all over. I'd been to Florida, Virginia, and Georgia.

Wherever Pepsi took you, brother. It's not Pepsi. It's Coke. It's not Coke. But I- Delta Airlines. Warm. I've been all over, so I had moved before.

This is the first time. So she's got a little bit of, you can tell she's getting a little misty-eyed about it and is gonna miss all her people, but she wants to be near her grandkids the most. Yeah, that'll be good. She'll still be relatively rural around friendly people. It's not New York City.

No, no, and it's not downtown Chicago. It's a small town in the Midwest. It's gotta be the best feeling in the world, put your mom in a nice house. It's not bad. Yeah. It's just, the next the Midwest. It's got to be the best feeling in the world put your mom in a nice house It's not bad. Yeah It's just the next week's gonna be tough, but we'll figure it out You're a survivor my daughter's going and my sister's going so we're all going down there What's the number one thing you miss about being in the South like the one tangible thing? Um

Probably the food fried chicken. It's gas station the access to the food yeah what would you look like if you never got this job I mean you we have we have video but I think you would have gotten worse right what was your how was your diet and lifestyle at the time you were high I gotta be honest I haven't changed my diet much if it ain't so it's not you weren't like going down no no I would have looked exactly like that probably maybe just I wouldn't have the white beard I'd probably still be a fresh-faced. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I was ugly. What sparked the hair transformation? Were people making fun of you or I got to New York and I went to Flesh why she said and I said we cut my hair make give me a good haircut

And she said well first of all you need to grow your hair You need to flow. So she made me grow it out for like a year before she ever touched it. And then she said, do it like this. And she was right. It is better. So if you ever in New York and need a hair thing,

go to Fleishman, because she knows what to do. She had a lot of the boys in the office looking exactly the same. It's like here, the guy everyone goes to here. Yeah. Funked. Yeah. I think I here, the guy everyone goes to here. Yeah. Funked. Yeah. I think I'm the only one who goes to Funk. Yeah.

Everybody else goes to the truck that comes to you. Yeah. It's coming today. Yeah? It's the best. Joel. Y'all should go. Somebody should go to Funk.

Funk's place is great. And it has titties on the wall. It's true. Very offensive. Titties on the wall. Not to me. Sas, where's the next vacation? Looking at Wyoming.

Ooh. Jackson Hole. About. They're listening. Swing through and say hi when he goes. Yeah, yeah. Popeye. I got to send Gruden out there.

Oh, yeah. You do have to pay for that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to go to Jackson Hole or Yellowstone. Where's your next show? I don't know. You don't have anything planned? I don't have anything coming up right now. I have shows in like the fall that I know about but I don't even have like the tickets up for that yet. Is your website domain still trash? No now it's harrysaddlewebsite.com Okay. Are you are you doing stand-up in New York every night?

Yeah, a lot of nights. Nice. Crazy. Are you getting good yet? No. Cool. I'm waiting for his special. Ten years.

Ten more years. You keep saying that. Every time you say it, he adds ten more. What's the special now? Ten more years. I want the special now. What's it going the special now? 10 more years. What's it going to be called? 10 more years.

Watch this in 10 years, and it'll be good. Musical artist. Let's go. Oh, it's settle. You didn't know? I thought it was satay. Oh, no. I thought that last letter was an I.

Satay? Really? I did. I thought you were Harry satay this entire time fan is that your UTA my old manager wrote that oh that's funny oh you're ruined yet have we totally dropped little sass no no okay I mean I'm not like I don't I don't really care but like for stand-up I'm gonna go yeah I would like looks good I know, I'm not like I don't I don't really care but like for stand-up. I'm gonna kill. Oh, yeah Yeah, I would like looks good. I know right I made it myself

The perfect website for all things Harry said over lady. That's great Looks like a pretty big fucking venue to what arena is that? That has the bed sheet Oh Yeah, man, you're doing really well Me and Colin were doing that show my buddy And it was that was when he got the bed sheet and he was like talking about it for like we was like He's like I got that I ordered the sheet on Amazon. It's gonna get here. It's gonna change everything

It's the home page. Yeah, it's your entire website. It was like Yeah, it's the home page. Yeah, it's your entire website. It was like We're gonna get some on there. I mean like I have shows booked. There's a website yet Then where would people get tickets? They're not for sale yet. Oh, they're like not there. I don't have anything until they're all in the fall ember So you kept your summer wide open pretty much? Yeah good for you smart any locations that you're the craft for I'm gonna be I'll be in Chicago in the fall any new ones new cities yes but I don't remember what's the city you keep canceling it's Canadian City now well there was a multiple things it was all back to back too,

which made it seem like I've canceled a thousand shows. But, for starters, there was this show in Kansas City that I was not booked on. There was no email of me getting anything about it and people were buying tickets to go see it and I was the face. On the promotional stuff? Yeah, so then I was like the face on like the promotional

Yeah, so then the day of the club finally cancelled the show But did you agree to the show? No, I was never supposed to it was like a total miscommunication I was never planning on doing that or ever had agreed to do it What's no email correspondence whatsoever? They just kind of was a total like fuck up They just kind of... It was a total like fuck up. How? How is that possible? Cause I was supposed to go there with Francis, like over a year ago and then he had to cancel.

So I was like, and I was like, I don't think I'm gonna go do it by myself. And then something just got mixed up between then and now. But so yeah, that got canceled. And then I was supposed to go to Canada twice, and I lost my passport. Oh. So I couldn't go.

And it was back to back weeks. Wait, didn't your agent say not to tell people you lost your passport for some reason? Yeah, I think at the time, yeah. Yeah. I think that's a pretty good excuse. I don't think it really matters now. Right. Where are you on your agent's list of clients? I have no idea.

He's got some big ones. Does he pay attention to you? Does he give you the love you need? Yeah, yeah, like we'll go out and get lunch and stuff. Does he pay? Yeah, does he pay? Does he pay? For lunch? Oh yeah, of course. Obviously.

With your money. Yeah. Is he trying to get you in any roles? Oh? Yeah, I mean I'm at an agency so it's like there's I have multiple different people I mostly talk to the same guy because I just talk about stand-up Yeah, and touring but they have like a like a literary department and like acting and all that shit I need to see you on the big screen. Yeah, I'm not really that interested in acting like I I'm good at it though like a literary department and like acting and all that shit. I need to see you on the big screen. Yeah, I'm not really that interested in acting.

Like I- Good at it though. No, I really don't think I am, to be honest. I'm telling you you- And of everything that I do, I think I'm the worst at acting. You're not bad at all. No, you're way worse at listening.

Yeah, you're bad at a lot of things. You're a bad listener, right? You're a pretty bad friend. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen you take a jump bad friend No, I Yeah, I don't think I'm great at acting. I like writing a lot. That's fun, and I like acting like acting is fun, too But it's not it's not the thing that I'm the most

Passionate would you say no to a role? Like yeah, probably. What about Spielberg? No, obviously not if it was like that, but that's the problem, especially if you wanna start doing acting, you're gonna get, half the roles you're gonna book are gonna be like fuckin' NYU student films.

That's how you come up. Yeah. That's what you got to do. But I don't, that's the thing, is like I don't wanna be an actor. Wait, how old actor wait how long enough to do that. How old are you now 24 24? Yeah, when you turn 25? Are you just turned 24? Yeah? Yeah, Kyle you know it's asked for a decade now And now it's probably pretty close

pretty close guys were criminally close probably like eight years or so probably yeah probably eight and a half 2017 2016 at yeah late late 2016 yeah probably I'm gonna bond I Dude Kyle's one of your oldest friends Like like one of my best friends. I think I've only known for like a decade. Oh My god, it is very funny Would you stay for yeah, I did get sunburned today, huh? Yeah, you've got a glow to you You should have put on the FPS And basketball the great players don't just do it alone they have teammates coaches and a solid support system behind them It's kind of like insurance because let's face it a lot of us probably aren't great at doing that alone either and that's where State Farm comes in. State Farm is a teammate always ready to assist help you

find the coverage you need and help you recover from the unexpected. From fender benders to storm damage or even just a question about your policy State Farm is there to provide an assist when you need it through the State Farm mobile app a network of 19,000 local agents and online at statefarm.com. So don't just go it alone. When you need help protecting what matters most, State Farm is there. State Farm with the Assist. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability and eligibility vary by state. Again, State Farm with the Assist. Would you guys say you're pretty confident that you couldn't be hypnotized? I probably know I definitely think I could know I fall into

I am pretty easily. I think I am I don't think a hypnotist could get me. Oh, you're you're Issue a challenge. Would you be like fighting back mentally or like would you try to like I would try not to okay? I wouldn't want that can we find one yet? Let's find out what's not to be proven wrong I did it at like a high school thing and I think it's pretty like They only choose from the audience the people that are volunteering to go on stage to do it I think that it has to be like you have to buy in mentally to do it and I was on stage for it and like I woke up with my feet on my shoes on the wrong feet and like oh Like I woke up with my feet on my shoes on the wrong feet and Like oh

Like dances, but I think it requires you to mentally want to be hypnotized in order to get hypnotized So you were unconscious for long enough to have your shoes like the person like put like like trance to me to sleep on stage where I was like down with my like head in my head down and then on stage where I was like down with my like head in my head down and then while I was in the trance the person told me to put my shoes on the wrong feet and then told the person next to me to like Not acknowledge it if I asked them if there was anything wrong to like look down and not like to point at the shoes But like not ignore like everybody on stage had a different part of the hypnotist experience I would love to be hypnotized Again, I think it's only you know

I think if you fought it it wouldn't work and you would just like go sit down Like that happened to some of the people they just got asked to go sit down I just don't understand I don't think I think even if I bought in like what I'm gonna fall asleep Yeah, what do you what do you do to you? Yeah? Yeah breathing thing and then it was like okay and on three you're gonna fall into a deep trance one two three And then he snapped and like you would like people like fell onto the floor basically. Oh, he would fuck you up Kyle I think if you don't want to it to happen it wouldn't happen. I do want it because I would try to

Buy in I don't like those churches where they make people go crazy Yeah I don't think like those churches where they make people go crazy Speaking in tongues yeah You're a professional hypnotist in the Chicago area shoot me yeah, let's do it I want to get really good. There's like a YouTube video you can pull up. Yeah, can't you just do it over zoom? We gotta get that freak in here. Yeah He's got to be able to touch me I'm gonna freak in here. Yeah. He's gotta be able to touch me.

Isn't that the thing they like touch you and then you drop? Is that right? Huh? Oh, you're talking about the whole, yeah. Oh yeah. Like in churches and stuff. Like in the end and all that, yeah.

He touches you with his jacket or something. He wipes out a whole row of churchgoers. I would love to be that kind of preacher. That would rule. Oh, the power. People now? Yeah. Those was a rule. Oh the power Those videos are insane. Yeah, the ones that I might start doing that in my Catholic Church

Stand up in the middle the preacher will say something across the stage Who was that Baker guy you remember him Jim Baker Jim Baker Tammy Faye. Tammy Faye with all the mascara. He was a scam artist. They'd bring up women who had like AIDS and be like, you're cured now, and they'd get all excited. Yes. Yes. Have y'all ever watched on TikTok the Pentecostal remixes

where the video is them dancing in a Pentecostal church, but the the music is like rap music Yeah, I've seen this God is great. I just I can get caught up watching that stuff Pentecostal dancers are terrific Shut the fuck up Why would you do that Pentagon? Why would you do that? Pentagon house What's this dude going on? This guy

Oh that is actually awesome Are they in a trance or just doing that? They're like possessed by the Holy Spirit in these moments What bananas game is this? That guy at the end looked like he was like pissed but also like was like I'm still gonna do it Watch

Watch him at the end. He's like wait a little show right here Okay God imagine Sunday you wake up time to go do this Have to dress up go. I think those people go to church almost every day of the week. Yeah. I think. Time to go dance in the beigest room of all time. Cut a rug into beig cube. Nothing makes me want to dance more

than a bright fluorescently lit beig cube. It looks like they're in like a like they brought This is they brought like the church pews into like a fucking you got it blend the plane, baby Yeah, conference room look at the lights Terrogation room oh Man okay, well sass is great to have you great to have you miss you Miss the fuck out of you can't wait to get some ice rose nowhere. Yes. I miss it you're gonna. You're gonna get some ice cream To be honest probably not you why?

We talked about why and I didn't say it in the car. All right, then I am gonna fire you. I didn't say it in the car, but I was like, it's gonna give me the worst stomach ache. And then I got a fight. Just have a bite. Zass, you ate french fries in a cold burger the entire episode. Yeah, but that's not dairy.

Oh, cheeseburger? Oh, you lactose? I'm lactose like once you get enough lactose in me. I'm not fully intolerant, but I'm kind of tolerant. I'm kind of tolerant. Like once you get enough lactose in me I'm not fully intolerant, but I'm kind of tolerant. I'm kind of tolerant But low t low t Yeah, have a bite. I'll have some Now I'll have a little bit. I'll have a little bit. Oh alright. Let's spin the wheel TJ We got a redo the pick six read oh because you screwed it up. No I screwed bit. Oh, all right. Let's spin the wheel TJ. We got to redo the pick six read. Oh, because you screwed it up.

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Yeah, we got a wheel would that be suck me wet on the plane for a lava time back on there a Oh, it's lava time. Yeah. Stop. Um. Yeah. All right.

See you for tomorrow. Monday. Oh, yeah. See you, Brandon. It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Get your straws, yak style, and save for a while. It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak!

It's the Yak! Yes, time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! I love you guys.