The Yak - Sas & Owen Move Into A Showerless Apartment (But Its In The West Viillage) | The Yak 12-3-21

Episode Date: December 4, 2021

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Can we turn down the headphones? Hey, guys. TJ, can you zoom in on my new hat? Look at it. It is glowing. That's gas. Nick gas.

Kings of sports Oh shit Wow And the best part is Nickelodeon Nick Elodian I need a haircut Look at this

Fucking gross I'm a gross human being right now Not a bad look Not a bad look I also found out that I don't have to lose any weight For the jump That's

Okay well don't let that Is that good or bad? Don't over... Donut? I just had a donut on a Friday. They said just don't be three bills, and I was like, okay, so $2.95. You can be $2.95. You can be $2.99.

$2.99. Look at the vultures behind me picking up their scraps. It's sad. They're giving away merch. It's merch give-out day. The dichotomy of class in this office. I walked right past. It disgusts me. You're giving away merch. It's merch give out day. The dichotomy of class in this office. I walked right past. It disgusts me.

You're going to wear that? Look at these guys. I wouldn't be caught dead. They're not even ashamed. They're not even ashamed. I saw somebody fought over a Nooners hoodie. We just got scolded in the elevator. For no mask?

Yeah. Oh, bro. No mask, guys? I'm starting to get, I'm getting looks. I'm not a no, I'm not an anti-masker, but I have just

unintentionally become one. Well, yeah. By laziness. She was explaining that they're helpful. I'm an anti-masker physically. I don't like the feeling. Right, but I,

my son's school, everyone wears a mask and I don't. Yeah, I mean. Well, and I don't. Yeah, I mean. Well, you want people to notice you. It's a drop-off. The drop-off is outside.

The drop-off is outside. Why do I have to wear a mask? You don't. And also, my son doesn't wear a mask. He's the only kid who doesn't. Really? Hell yeah. Why would he?

I just like, yeah, and I just. Every picture I see of him at school, he's just got his mask around. He wears it around his neck, but it's not ever on his face. These kids are going to be so socially stunted. Yeah, right? You know how important and impactful the social cues of a face can be to development? Let's see. You can express a thousand words with one facial expression. Say something nice, but be mean about it with your face.

You look good today, Owen. See? And today's kids would take that as truth. Idiots. Why is my app opening for... The Kool-Aid stain kids are probably running amok. They are. You can't even identify the Kool-Aid stain kids are probably running amok. They are. You can't even identify the Kool-Aid stain kid.

No, they're still running with their arms behind their back. Kyle, were you born with a cleft lip? It's a come up for the clefts. There's a rumor that you were born with a cleft lip. Were you born with a cleft lip? No, someone said that. There was a post on which... You point when you defend a lie.

There was a live chat going on in the ANS subreddit. That said I was... That you had a cleft. They were not shocked that I was born with a cleft palate? Yeah. What? No one ever said that, did you? Never.

Why do you think I was? Open your mouth. Open your mouth. Can we get cleft check? Cleft check. Did you have polio? God, those are white. No, no, cleft, Kyle.

Do you know what your cleft is? Right there? No, your palate. Your palate. Your top of your mouth. The roof of your mouth, right? No, fuck this. I'm not giving them the fodder. Oh, he was! Yeah, he definitely was. Shoot down the rumors. Cleft ass bitch.

Owen and Sass, congrats on the new place. Thank you. Oh, tell us! Wait, what? You got it? Wait! Yeah. So, just the two of you? And Dukes. So, Ebo was a bad roommate? No. No, he was too good. Ebo makes too much money. Ah.

But no bad blood. So. No bad blood. Your landlord? Current? Or I mean future? Do we have his number? We do. He FaceTimed to me last night. Wait, what? Wait, the new one.

What is up with these landlords? The new one. I've never had one like this. We'd like to discuss with them. I don't know who my name is. They seem like nice guys. Said this last time. Can we see pictures of your house?

Say the address? No, just text. I'm pumped. It's actually like one of the better things that has happened. To you? To all of us. We also decided to like double our budget last minute yeah that happens every single time you look for a apartment you're like all

right i'm only gonna spend this thing like oh well i want this place and then he faced on me back he's like i got a 16 month sound and i was like yeah so uh yeah so can you tell them zot text on tj the the address and we'll just show pictures, not the address. I don't give a fuck. You're just talking to me. It's not going to be interesting. It's a small place. No, but we want to see it.

My rent is so fucking high now. How long? How long? No, it's not even that much higher. It's only a few hundred bucks more than that. I absolutely cannot live like this. At least for too long. Absolutely cannot live like this I remember the first time I was right out of college I got a place

And I did it Because I thought I was going to get a huge raise And then I got bumped up From $35,000 a year To $37,000 a year That's kind of like Where I am right now

So I hope that doesn't happen to me My last job I got a master's Because I thought It would be like a raise And I went from like $ to 37 500 when you get when you do the math it was like so that's like like 40 a page you have to lose less yeah it was less i thought i was going in and getting like a double and they're like yeah so uh you're getting a raise at two thousand dollars and it sucks it's like oh we're so proud of the hard work you've done we We're going to give you a raise, and I think you're going to be happy.

Yeah. And then you just can't be unhappy. They told you you're going to be happy. I remember I rented this place being like, I'm about to be fucking. This is totally my budget. How small of a raise is rude? That was pretty rude. That was pretty rude.

Although that's not, I guess, percentage-wise. It wasn't rude. Is it like the standard 10%? I don't think so. No, I don't think that's true't rude isn't like the standard 10 percent uh i don't think so no i don't think that's true it isn't no i think that's made up i i thought that's what it was i was i was googling it yesterday oh you were oh it is race season um yeah no i don't think 10 i think it's like five percent right who Who knows? We'll see. I just remember going into that meeting being, oh, 3 to 5, being like, this is going to be awesome. He's about to bump me. I remember vividly being like, I think I made $33,000 a year.

And I was like, worst case scenario, I'll probably be making $50,000 when I walk out of this door. And he was like, $35,000. $2,000 raise. I went to $35,000. It's a $2,000 raise. I went to $35,000. That's right. Worst case scenario. I was like, worst case scenario. Did he hype it up in the email?

Like, you're going to be excited about this. All positive and everything. And it was just, yeah, so that's probably what's a $2,000 raise on $33,000. That's 5%. Yeah. That's nothing. That actually makes sense now that I look back. Real estate.

Right. It also was right when the market crashed and Barack Obama ruined the entire economy. Classic Obama. Thanks, bro. Yeah. So, yeah, it was probably a bad... Like, we had fired, like, half of the company, so a raise probably wasn't prudent, but two grand.

Pretty nice. Pretty nice. How'd you spend it? I did it. Well, I had spent it on the apartment oh true that was way over my budget how much is the apartment it was like i oh fuck where was this in chicago yeah god it's so hard to think of like that was so long ago um it was a five bedroom i think it was like a five bedroom for like, it was sick. It was like a whole house. Did you have roommates? Yeah, yeah.

I had a bunch of roommates. Yeah. No, it wasn't just me. No, it was a five bedroom with five, four roommates. It was sick though. It was like a, it was like a 3,500 square foot place in like Lakeview. And it was, I think it was like around like $5,000 a month. Yeah.

Which is crazy to think about compared to New York. It's not though. Cause that's like still what, like I was looking at apartments inago when i was there yeah no it's not yeah it's ridiculous how cheap it is yeah really completely oh my god i mean the place i moved from was the when i moved to new york was it was a uh like one and a half bedroom so it had an office and a backyard and a parking spot and it was like 1200 boys let's fucking do this thing right now yeah i'm ready we'll get a fucking my friends that live in chicago now they have like massive apartments and they pay like significantly less than what's gonna happen assassin's comedy career though when we go to chicago can you do it from there no what's the

scene who's the top dog in chicago comedy honestly i don't know i don't Honestly, I don't know. White Sox Dave? I don't think that is White Sox Dave. I like the Chicago comedy. Just you look at him. The Chicago scene's not as poppin' as it used to be. Oh, no. What is it, L.A. and New York? L.A. and New York are the places to be. Why don't you go bring it back?

Well, you can be anywhere. True. With the internet. My boy, KB, we are on the same page. Did you text them the address? I would like to see pictures. Me too. It's not like you're not going to like.

Are you guys still in Hell's Kitchen? No, we're going to West Village. Oh, fancy. I don't even know where that is. You don't know where West Village is? Just picture Rome. Is it south of Chelsea, north of Greenwich? South, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I got that. All right, so I got it. Never mind. Or is it north of Greenwich or is it south of Chelsea, north of Greenwich? South, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I got that. All right, so I got it. Never mind. Or is it north of Greenwich or is it south of Greenwich? Maybe like west of Greenwich. West of Greenwich. West and north of Greenwich.

South of Chelsea. I'm very, very excited. That's Bob Dylan's old stomping ground. I know. We went to a bar the other day and there was a picture of Bob Dylan in it. And so you're like. He's probably sitting right here. This is going to be my life.

Yeah. I'm going to take Bob Dylan's life. Bob Dylan in it. And so you're like probably sitting right here. This is going to be my life. Yeah. I'm going to take Bob Dylan's life. Bob Dylan's life. Oh, there it is. So I was I actually wasn't Yeah, you were right on.

OK, so if you want to find Sass and mug him. You don't no one gets mugged in West Village. It's the beauty of it. Oh, really? Download the Citizen app, brother.

Oh, Mugtown, USA. Are we going to see... Is that Zah's place over there? Zah, where are you at? Where are you at, Zah? Oh, Zah. You live in that entire... Everything you touch?

Yeah. Everything the light touches over there. You go over there and, Zah, you better not go to Jersey City Medical Center without asking Zah first. What are you doing here, bitch? Yeah, I want to see these pictures. I'm excited for this. It's cozy.

How long until it's a fucking dump? And it's also a six-floor walk-up. No, it isn't. No, it's not. I guess no one knows the address. So wait, it's... That's the highest floor you can have without having an elevator.

Yeah. We were walking up yesterday, and it was tough. I mean, we're on a fourth floor walk-up right now, so it's not that crazy. No fats allowed. Yeah. But we were thinking, like, it's not furnished, so we're going to have to carry shit up six floors. That sucks dick. I'm not helping.

Six floors? Yeah. You have the elevator? Your last place was unfurnished. You don't have any like. No, our last place is furnished. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you don't have to move anything.

So when do you guys move? New Year's Day. And when did you just finalize it? Right now? We saw it last night and then we finalized it last night. So you guys are still in that mode where you're like, six floors is not that bad. Six floors is great. I mean, we're going to get a jay bed.

Oh, my God. That's going to suck so bad. Yeah. You don't realize that. Oh, we do. No, I don't think. No, no, no. Also, one thing that was alarming was it was.

They don't. We are on. I mean, how many floors is our, how many, like, actual, like, I think it's only one floor less. Yeah. You live in a walk-up right now? We're in a fourth floor walk-up right now But there's something weird with the steps

The steps are all off And it starts on zero This is a sixth floor walk-up That starts on one Yeah So it's one extra flight We're not worried about it Who's we?

The boys There's nothing worse than living in a walk-up Neo and Rone Your doo-doo crew, son I used to live in a walk-up And you're just like You'll forget. Your doo-doo crew, son. I used to live in a walk-up and you're just like, you'll forget something and you're just like,

well, there's not going to have that today. I won't have that today. Oh, yeah. I come without a wallet all the time. I'm not going back upstairs for that.

I was on the second floor of a walk-up and I would just not bring my phone. Fuck it. I think one of the things that was the most alarming was we walked up yesterday

and we got in and it was hot in the apartment. Uh-oh. No AC. Radiator heat? No AC. Radiator heat? It was hot.

Yeah. I was like visibly sweating. Wait, there's no AC? No, we'll get some in-unit, in window units. That's illegal. You need a permit to do that. Says who? Says New York City, de Blasio, Big Bird.

Bro, you live in Brooklyn. Yeah. Where you don't know how Manhattan works. Whatever the fuck you want. Whatever the fuck you want. We'll figure it out. We'll get some fans. No alarm clocks, just birds waking us up.

Yeah. There are outlets in this one, right? Oh, yeah. That's the nice part. It's not modern. That's what I like about it. Oh. Because the modern shit.

Oh, yeah. You'd make a great real estate agent. You have exposed brick. It's not small. That's what I like about it. Oh. Because the modern shit. Oh, yeah. You'd make a great real estate agent. You have exposed brick. It's not small. It's cozy. No, but like, it's like. Yeah, I like modern stuff. Just I'm going to hand up.

If you want to call me a sucker, having modern things like AC. There's a difference between like our modern and your modern. Like our modern, it's like we look at the apartment that we're in right now. It looks really modern. It looks nice. Then we show up and everything is like plastic and looks like you could punch a hole through it but air condition effortlessly yeah big cat you're modern you have an eyeball scanner to get in your fridge yeah but air conditioning right air conditioning is part

of your we do have air conditioning that's i that's really kind of the air conditioning is a big one that one's gonna you guys are really setting yourself up for like, this won't be that bad. I don't think it will because it's in such a nice area. This isn't fun anymore. I don't care. I'm not the one. Air conditioning is crazy. This game stinks.

I don't give a fuck about the apartment itself. I care about the location. You know what? I like that, Sash. You're living in New York for the city. No, I'm not. Well, I guess I am, but it's just like anything is better than Hell's Kitchen. Is it close to a comedy club? It's not that far from the city. No, I'm not. Well, I guess I am, but it's just like anything is better than Hell's Kitchen. Is it close to a comedy club?

Oh, it's not that far from the stand. Nice. Chip and a putt. Woo! With your golf game? Chip and a putt. Wait, what did you...

You and your boys went as good fellows for Halloween? Yeah. Or not Halloween, it was Spirit Week. Wait, Spirit Week? Yeah. You guys do. It was Spirit Week. Wait. Spirit Week? Yeah.

You guys do like costume themes? Oh, it was pop culture. That was the day. So you and your two boys decided to go as the Goodfellas? Yeah. How did that go? I mean, so basically I went. We did this thing at my school called Spirit Week.

And it was like there was – it was every day of the week had a different theme. And this day was pop culture. And we did – me and my friends did Goodfellas and I wore like the full on like one piece like the full like suit

like in like Goodfellas when he shows up and he's like come on how do I look and I had like a hat on and everything can we pull up that picture do you have a picture

I don't know the Goodfellas picture so you went all out so I went all out, basically. And then my two buddies, one of them, his mom's a flight attendant, and he shows up just wearing a button-down shirt with his mom's flight attendant vest over it. What? And then my other friend wore a flannel with suspenders tucked in.

And I was, like, full on, like, all out. You were in a flannel yeah and then uh and then like so you guys meet up yeah we meet up we go to school everyone's like asking us what we are and i'm like oh we're good fellas and then like first period happens and then like we go like you go to the next class and i'm walking the hallway and i come across my friends and they're just wearing like shorts and a t-shirt like They just all changed out of their costumes. And I'm just a solo mobster. It wasn't even a mobster.

It just looked like I was wearing a suit. That's the worst part of it. I'm looking at the Goodfellas pictures through Zod's computer. Do you have the pictures of their apartment? It's like impossible to do without doxing them.

It's on the inside. Every picture has like the address on it. What? I'm on like Street Easy. Just send it to me. I want the address on it. What? I'm on Street Easy. Just send it to me. I want to look at it. I'll give you my thoughts.

I'm excited for you guys. You guys should come over. You know what? You won't even have to worry about the air conditioning issue for another six months. Yeah, that's true. Like, who cares? That's a future you problem. That's a way future you problem.

That's not even true. This summer, I'm going to be outside. Yeah, exactly. You future you problem. In the summer, I'm going to be outside. You'll be in the Hamptons. I'm going to be outside. Yeah, right. The radiator, now, can you crack open a window? Yeah, all of them. All of them, yeah.

Big windows. Oh, nice. Big old windows. Are they? Can you open them? They are big, though. Can you open them? Yeah.

Are you sure? Yeah. You tried them? No. They are big, though. Can you open them? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. You tried it? No. Oh. I don't think you can open those, bro. I'll break them open. There's no shower.

But there's a bathroom. What? Well, it's a communal. What? This is getting. Wait, what? Okay, I'm trying not to be negative anymore. No, no.

What? I'm still happy for you all. There's not no shower. It's a communal shower. There's two on each anymore. No, no. What? I'm still happy for you all. There's not no shower. It's a communal shower. There's two on each floor. Yeah. Wait. What?

No, that's not true. Yes. Yes, it is. But there's only four units on each floor. So it's two apartments. But we have our own, like, toilet and sink and stuff. You guys are living in a dorm again. You got to do a community shower?

Wait, what? I don't even know if the other people are going to live across the hall. Have you guys never lived in an apartment with like communal bathrooms? No. No. I know they exist. It was called a dorm. Is that true?

A dorm has communal showers. You guys are gaslighting us. Yeah. No. You guys are gaslighting us. You guys are making me feel like shit. Is that true, TJ? You're looking at the house.

Wait, how much would it be too much for an apartment without a shower? You guys are making me feel like shit. Is that true, TJ? You're looking at the house. Wait, how much would it be too much for an apartment without a shower? You guys are fucking with us. Oh, man. What did TJ say? Let me look at the street easy. You're on. I'll show you. You waited a long time to tell us that important detail you have exposed brick though

you're gonna be dirty as fuck but you have walking walking distance to the wand it's two stops here that's sick that is nice walking distance to the shower there's a shower here is this is this yeah it's within walking distance on the floor yeah you can this is actually good i'm just gonna go to the gym in the morning and shower there. Oh, my God. I was thinking about getting dreadlocks. You guys are fucking me. Yeah, they are.

No. This is good for the show because people, like, I think people watching are like, oh, these guys have a great life, but then you have to live in New York City and you hear this shit. Okay, hold on. I got it. Is it three bedrooms, one bath, 800 square feet? Yeah.

You didn't need to dox the square feet. Don't. You did not have to say the square foot. I didn't do it. I didn't say anything. No, we know. I didn't say anything besides a whoosh. Because we didn't know if that was too small, but it's not too small.

We got a whole living room in the kitchen. I would have rather you said the price. We got a whole living room and a kitchen. I would have rather you said the price. We got a whole living room and a kitchen. Dog. Dog. I'm just pumped to have a fucking door again. Yeah. I got no door right now.

You have the sliding thing. That dude, I mean, that's like throwing a piece of paper over the wall. You can get your fuck on. How loud? Yeah. Have you been getting your fuck on in that? No, but it's like... You You can get your fuck on? Yeah. Have you been getting your fuck on in that? No, but it's like... You haven't heard otherwise?

No, so it's like there's... Yeah, through the door. I heard. I was there. And I have a fucking window in my room that goes out to the kitchen. Yeah, you do. So it's like if anyone's in the kitchen,

I'm awake. Not anymore. We don't even shower every day. No, it's good. Come on, boys. Do you even shower every day No Come on boys Do you guys shower every day? Twice Every day

I mean there's a There's a crunch gym Right across the street I'm just gonna start going there Getting a shower in I don't know why It's not loading for me I think my phone might be broken

Probably cause it's off the market It's off the market Sealed the deal Flagged you as One of those perverts Who just checks the showers Are. It's off the market. Sealed the deal. Flagged you as one of those perverts who just checks the showers. Are you guys talking about the showers? He said there's only four people you have to share it with.

Well, there's three. It's us two and Duke. And then who else uses the community? Like, who else on your floor? Well, there's four units. Well, we didn't say who lives across the hall. There's four on each floor. Four apartment units.

Yes. And two men. But with multiple people in each. With showers. So you're going to have to wear... Okay. You're going to have to wear... Like shoes.

Well, it's also separated like boy-girl, so... So there's probably eight to 12 people on your floor. Yeah, you are fucking with us. No, I was fucking with you about the boy-girl part, but the shower part's real. I can't load this. Okay, I'm looking right now at the floor plan. Not a bad floor plan. It looks like there's a tub in here.

Is there a tub? Well, you can take a bath. You can take a bath, I guess. It actually does show on the floor plan it shows a tub, but it doesn't show a shower head. It doesn't show the head? Yeah. So I don't know. So you guys have a tub.

Yeah, just bath boys. Yeah. I'm sure there's an attachment for tubs that you can put up. Yeah, you can make one. A quick bath for work would be a funny visual. That would be funny. I'm all banging on the door in sass. Don't drain the water.

I'm getting in. Don't drain it. I don't have in. Yeah. Don't drain it. I don't have time to refill. I'm going to have to turn my phone off, turn it back on. Phone sucks. I think so many people are just checking this out.

Zah, have you seen a shower? Uh, no. But yeah, I've been trying to look and find it now. None? No. Wait, what do you mean?

Like an actual, like for their apartment? Yeah, in their apartment. Oh, no, apartment oh no no no I haven't seen a picture of a bathroom or anything that says that there isn't a bathroom

are you guys is this a whole long bit where you're like we're just gonna slowly reveal worse things and see if the guys are good enough friends that they won't totally

shit on it because I'm struggling now I struggle I honestly I was never shit on it but I was kind of like I was not. I honestly was shit on it the whole time. I was never shit on it. I was kind of like, I was not going full on. I honestly didn't even remember. Like, when we saw it yesterday, I didn't even go into the bathroom.

See, that's the thing is I don't think you guys actually looked. We really didn't look in the bathroom. We saw it was in West Village and we jumped in. We walked around the block a lot. Yeah. The neighborhood's nice. You guys didn't even look at the bathroom? No.

Well, people were living there. People were living there. It felt weird. What kind of people were there? You're about to live there for 16 months. You're going to live there for 16 months. If three girls could live there, three dudes could live there. Yeah.

That's a fair point. I believe you guys will be fine. You'll live there with no issues. It's just slightly inconvenient. It is inconvenient. A little bit, but that's New York City. Well, I'll probably just crash at Nick's. You can shower at my place.

Yeah, good point. All right, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be negative. I apologize. You guys should come over. It's going to be great. I want to do sleepover. Do you have enough space for all of us?

We're going to be in Arizona. Yes, we have a couch. We'll have to buy a couch, but there's room for a couch. A full couch? Yeah. Full couch. Two-person couch. A loveseat.

Two-person couch. It's a loveseat. They had a sectional? Yeah. Did it just take up the whole apartment? A good bit of it. No, it didn't, honestly. People are going to be checking our square footage.

When you think about it, a shower is kind of wasted space anyway. Yes, it takes up so much space. How often do you use that thing? Honestly. Every morning and before you get to bed. We have two showers in our apartment right now, so it is kind of a downgrade in that sense. Going from two to none.

This is wild. It's going to be great. I'm excited for you guys. It's going to be great. The price you pay for living in the village. Yeah, right. It's the neighborhood. It's going to be great. It's going to be awesome. I'm excited for you guys. It's going to be great. It's the price you pay for living in the village. Yeah, right. It's the neighborhood. It's the vibe.

You guys are real New Yorkers. It's going to be great. It's like having a 90210 zip. Right. It will get you guys so much pussy to be like, I live in the village, but I don't have a shower. We were hanging out last night just walking around. Wait, we're into the neighborhood.

Yeah, we were introducing ourselves to everybody. We were hanging out last night just walking around. We went into the neighborhood. Yeah, we were introducing ourselves to everybody. We were banging on the doors. New neighbors. All right, so good job. Congrats, guys. Oh, my God. Hey. Yeah.

Hey. Is there a cool bar? We were smoking cigs on the stoop. You have a stoop? Oh, yeah. Oh, you didn't tell me that. Stoops are cool. Better than shower.

You got to stay better. We just do ALS ice bucket challenges on the stoop every morning. Damn, you didn't tell me that. Stoops are cool. Better than shower. You got to stay better. We just do ALS ice bucket challenges on the stoop every morning. Damn, these guys are progressive. These guys are allies. You just hang out on the stoop and just intimidate other people? Like, if you walk by a group of people that are sitting on a stoop, you're scared. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Because, like, they're just sitting there judging everyone that walks by. Mm-hmm by Fucking tourists That's nice Get out of my neighborhood Okay so that's big Do you think you'll be Friends with your shower mates Oh yeah

We'll probably shower together Now what Do you Is there a sign up sheet We don't really know The logistics of it yet I think you have to pay Do you have to pay

I mean You have to pay to use it No But I mean They're gonna be on Different schedules If they're working Everyone's gonna have real jobs Where they have to pay. Do you have to pay? Do you have to pay to use it? No. But I mean, they're going to be on different schedules. If they're working, everyone's going to have real jobs where they have to be there at 9 a.m. They're going to be showering early. Not us, though.

One o'clock. You guys have to give up shower masturbating. Please, I want to up it. No, I don't. I'm going to start masturbating more in the shower. Oh, it's a courtesy thing. I fucking munched a gang of three cheese skittles last night. Yeah.

And ran bus game to grainy. To what? To this grainy footage of Diana Ross performing in like 1980. You ran bus game to that? Were you on r slash nostalgia set? Nah, she was modestly dressed too. Whoa. I just, it was upside down. Pull it up. Boy, you turn me. Oh, too. Whoa. It was upside down.

Pull it up. Boy, you turned me. We probably can't, can we? I don't know. We could probably pull it up and just knock away the music. Oh, also, a homeless man shoved candy in your chest. That was unbelievable. What happened?

Me, Owen, and Kyle were walking down the street, and this guy. What did he do? He walked out of a bodega with candy opened it up and was like who wants some? Who wants some? And then he shoved it

in Kyle's chest. Did you let that happen? What did I do? While Kyle while the candy was still pressed and the homeless man's dirty hand was right there

on Kyle Kyle just doesn't look at him looks straight and just goes It feels good. That's like the one time you can be them.

Do some shit they would do. It didn't stop him. It just felt good to do that noise in public. They were a bunch of gummy frogs. He just pushed them into your chest. It feels good, but you end up looking bad. They don't, because they just look how they always look. Nick, did you

tell the story about your tattoo? No. No. Nick got a tiny little tattoo yesterday. Three hours. It took me three hours. I waited every single minute. The guy started. He's like, yeah, it's my first time. I'm like, what the fuck? Just to let you know, I'm an apprentice.

Well, I'm about to be an apprentice. I think I was the first human being he's ever tattooed. Was there a point you were covered in ink? Yeah, the hose came off or something, and the ink started splattering everywhere. He was like, don't worry, don't move a muscle, I'll towel you down. And then he was like,

he's never tattooed a human being before. And when he laid the table out for me to lay on, he did it backwards, I guess. So my head was just like this the entire time it was wait let's see it where is it it's it's all wrapped up oh it's literally a small like it's tiny you will be shocked at how small it's like a nice it's a cool tattoo but it's tiny yeah and it took literally three hours 50 minutes every single line the guy was just like hey is this good i liked the guy though he was cool do they charge by the hour or the... No, he just threw a price out at me.

How much? It was only like four grand. Keep in mind, we were in West Village. Yeah. By the way, I'm looking at your apartment right now. It looks nice. I think you guys might have a shower. That'd be nice.

That would be a plus. That'd be sick. I think you might have a shower. I'd be willing to pay more. We probably should go see it again. It's a small shower, but that's better than a community shower yeah what made you think you had the community shower there's flip-flops in the hallway that was that was it why would you keep them in the hallway that's i mean it's actually a fair point that's a very fair point i

apologize i love this is a cool place you guys are gonna probably bang a lot who gets the small bedroom dudes and who gets the small but dudes it's the smallest bedroom are they all small yeah sassy's taking the master oh i see ac unit an AC unit in the window. Really? Yep. So, boom, we're good. We're good. All right, so everything has been... Now, it does look like you're going to have to put your TV on your oven. Yeah. On top of your oven is where the TV's going to be mounted.

That's fine, though. That's not a big deal. That's a good spot for it. We don't really hang out. We don't hang out at home. Ever, yeah. Because we work together. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, you just go to your room. That's the other thing. I'm thinking about it like I like to just sit at home. Just kidding. I'm pumped. Yeah. Oh, there's a video. I'm so pumped.

You should be. Our apartment right now is just like it just sucks the life out of you being in it. This is a deeply depressing place. Oh, there's a shower. Yeah? Is there? Yeah. Yo, if you click on the YouTube video,

I think it won't dox them. A lot of creeks in the video. Wait, are you looking at a shower? Don't be thrown off by the creeks in the video. Are there a lot of creeks? Wow. It's a creaky video. If you play the video, don't play.

It's not modern. You got to let it start a little bit on the app. I think you guys have a shower. Play it with the volume, too. It's like Bob Dylan lived there. He did. He did. I know.

I can see it. These creaks were keeping me up all night. That's where he rode knocking on heaven's door. And the door that he was knocking on was the shower. The communal shower. Did you for real run bus game yesterday, Kyle? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah.

Bus game off the Skittles? Upside down. Boy, you turn me. Does it work without doxing? You can dox us. I don't really give a fuck. You should. I mean, it's me inside out. You can dox us. I don't really give a fuck. Round and round. You should.

I mean, it's like, yeah. What is someone going to fucking walk all the way up those steps? Yeah. Well, the thing is, I'm keeping the other apartment. Yeah, for your shit. Yeah. So I'm running two apartments. I had a dude.

Oh, boy. Yeah, here we go. This is it. This is nice. Is the volume up? I want them to hear the creak, boy. Yeah, here we go. This is it. This is nice. Is the volume up? I want them to hear the creak. That's where the TV will go. I didn't hear the audio, so I don't know what's back there.

If he says the address, you'll hear the creak. I don't think he speaks. It just walks around. You turn it up. Boys. Oh, yeah. That's good, though. Listen to these creaks.

I like that. Are you guys the top four? It sounds like the whole. I like that. Are you guys the top floor? It sounds like the whole apartment's coming down. Are you guys the top floor? No. Oh. Is there a roof? That's not good.

Yeah. Again, I'm trying not to be negative. Why? Why does that matter? Somebody creaking above you? If this is what the floor sounds like. That's ample. It's going to sound like that when someone is above you.

I'm proud of you, boys. Sass, look at that door. I know. Is that going to be your door? That's my place. That's ample. It's going to sound like that when someone... I'm proud of you, boys. All right, let's... Sass, look at that door. I know. Is that going to be your door? That's my place. That's my pad. Oh, exposed brick? Exposed brick.

Beautiful. You want to hang a dartboard on that? Oh, yeah. You see that sun coming in, too? You don't get that in Hell's Kitchen. This is a perfect place for dudes. Oh, look at that, dude. That's beautiful.

Because, Owen, what are you... You're 22? Yeah. 23. 23. I just turned. So, yeah are you? You're 22? Yeah. 23. I just turned. So, yeah, this is perfect. I'll be 21. I'm taking all my hating and throwing it out the window that you can't open because they're clearly painted shut.

That's the small one. Is that the claw? That's Dukes. Shit. It looks like Dukes gets the fire escape window, though. Oh, oh. Smokes some cigs out there. Yeah, this is going to be a fucking cool-ass place.

Look at that view. I like this. Bourdain said West Village has the best tap water in the city. Oh, there we go. He did say that. And Bourdain's never wrong. But this is, yeah, this is a spot. Look at that kitchen.

Guys right out of college. This is where they had the couch. You'll actually look back and be like, I miss those days. Yeah, guess there's a couple of dudes fresh out of college. A freedom. I didn't see the bathroom. Was there a bathroom? Well, the bathroom is like...

So a communal shower is one thing, but a communal old bathroom... Did he do it? You doxed him? That would suck. There's no way it's a communal toilet. He might have doxed you. Why? At the end? Well, who cares? Who gives a fuck? They're not getting in. No, don't say. Still don't say. Don't say.

Make them work for it. We'll all say our address. They can pick. 389 4th Avenue. All right. Not bad. I had a dude. Did you say it?

What? Bro, I'm going to go over there and beat your ass. Look at this. I'd like to see you try. I don't think this has any... No, I just had a random mattress. I had a dude that was very bizarre. The other night, I walked out of my house,

and there's a door where I throw the trash out, and then I opened the door, and I smashed a human being. It was sitting in there, and it was a woman who was all disheveled And her boyfriend and they were like in a fight And I walk my dog I come back in And as I'm walking back in the door They're literally sitting in front of my apartment building

And the dude just goes Big cat? Oh no And then I go I go back upstairs I'm like watching some game It's like 10 o'clock at night. And I'm just sitting there and I tweet something about the game.

And the first reply is like, bro, you just saw me and my girl fighting. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. I did. I almost broke her body in half. You know those doors that you're like, no human beings on the other side of this door so you just swing it over I've done that in the bathroom

once I had headphones on walking into like a public restroom and I was going to pee in the stalls because I'm nervous about my penis size and I kicked open the door

just because I was like listening to like a metal song I didn't hear anybody in there and there was just a dude like leaning like this he like looks up and he's like

what the fuck I smashed my kneecap have you ever seen the video of the two kids fighting in the bathroom oh yeah He looks up and he's like, what the fuck? I just smashed my kneecap. Have you ever seen the video of the two kids fighting in the bathroom? Oh, yeah. Somebody shit. Somebody shit. Oh, can we find that?

That's good. I have it. Dude, there used to be a bar I would go to. I want to say it was called Duffy's in Chicago that had, when you went in the bathroom, it was just, like, urinals and then one single toilet, but there were no walls. And people would just take shits. Yep. While there were, like, nine dudes pissing. Sweet and vicious and a couple others.

Just sit there. They always crack me up. It was always, like, hot dudes that weren't afraid to shit. Hot guys aren't afraid to shit. No, we aren't. You know, like, one in the afternoon, everyone's drunk, like, watching college football, football there should be a dude taking a shit well why do those seven other days but i loved it it was just always gonna make me laugh yeah um wait i was gonna i just gave i just

sent you a picture that doesn't that we could see their shower which is good look at this that's a shower that's a shower so you have one like if you zoom in that's a shower wait how close that's a shower head i don't wait we don't know if this is the public no you wouldn't have the public no no it looked i don't know that's a pretty that's a pretty filled up crate for three people no if they if this is not if this is the public one they you guys should sue them for false advertising because you just scroll and you see this. Well, they said in the contract we can't sue for anything. Oh.

We can get you out of that. I know a couple guys. No sue clause. Can you pan down that picture a little bit? That's a shower, boys. I think we got a shower. It looks like a shower. I went to a welcoming party.

I would like to come. Let's do a Yak Live there. Yeah, we should. That would should that would be fun great acoustics also do you want to do it yeah was that oh that was the best i do have been in the bathroom for the best video of all time is this the one yeah yeah it is this is just keep watching just keep watching Just keep watching Pause it right there. Oh, he's so... Oh, if he gets pushed off...

That's a... What a pathetic fight. This is recent. They got the masks on. Oh, no. He's definitely not finished. He's not finished. These guys are still going.

Oh, little MMA action. Oh, man. Damn. Quick word from our friends, Travis Matthew. Travis Matthew is a lifestyle performance apparel brand creating the most comfortable and versatile products on the market. T-shirts, performance shorts, quick drying, wrinkle resistant, super soft. I love them all.

I wear my Travisvis matthew jumpsuits on sundays you see them on the stream travis matthew polos hats shorts pants button-ups t-shirts in their dream collection which i love personally visit travismatthew.com slash yak today use the code yak 20 for 20 off travismatthew.com slash yak use the code yak 20 for 20 off uh did you guys see Stephen Che gave away, finally relinquished the virtual game ball? He did, yes. Stephen Che was going through it yesterday.

What is this? He was. Can we get his notes app up real quick? So this is the beauty of Stephen Che because I'm sure there's a lot of people online who think that he was doing a bit, but he was not. He's never done one. Oh, a little nugget for you that you'll like.

Stephen Che uses the peanut butter and jelly swirl. One jar of peanut butter. That's worse than a community bathroom. That's disgusting. Holy fuck. It's more expensive, and you get less of each, and it's disgusting. It's gross. It's like so much sugar.

Continue his letter. All right, so wait. Let me give the back story real quick so Antonio Brown Antonio Brown got caught with a fake vaccination card along with another Buccaneer

they got suspended three days Steven Che tweeted out like I need to clear my head I'm in a moral dilemma I'm gonna take a drive then he came back and this is what he released after the drive. People think it's not as bad if it's not a light mode notes app, because it's less noticeable. Yeah, that is probably

true. He nested parentheses. Yeah, he did. I don't know grammatically. Can you nest parentheses? One has to be a bracket. You just don't do that anyway. You could either double it or use one as a bracket. PEMDAS, so who would be divided by...

Antonio Brown's just a bad egg. As world champions, we will move on from this. I refuse to let this be a distraction and will not comment on this issue again. Go Bucs. He actually thought... He had to comment. He thought people were demanding a comment.

He thought it was his duty. Yeah, and then so he gave a virtual game ball to Mike Edwards. Which is what? What is a virtual game ball? He doesn't have the actual game. He gave it to Jay. Whoever thinks had the best game, he gives the game ball. Okay.

Virtually. Yeah. So he gave it to Mike Edwards, who was violating the COVID protocol. So I said, give the game ball back. And he finally did. And then he gave it to Mike Edwards who was Violating the COVID protocol So I said give the game ball back And he finally did And then he gave it to Hank and then Hank gave it back to Mike Edwards So we're back to A tangled web we weave I'm vacating week 12's virtual

He's so serious He's so serious This is 100% real week 12 is virtual. He's so serious. He's so serious. This is 100% real. Yeah. The virtual game ball is real. The having to take it away is real. The giving it to Hank.

Hank giving it back to Mike Edwards. How'd Hank get it? Because Hank bet on the box and they were sitting next to each other. Okay. We should get Nick back in here. Maybe he'll spill more with Steven's absence. Oh. Yeah, he was nervous.

He was nervous with Steven there looking at him. Oh. Do you think he's here? Yeah, I saw him. There's all kinds of stuff that he won't. Che has a lot that he doesn't tell. He wanted to name his son Luigi. He did tell us that. I think he did. I think to name his son Luigi. He did tell us that.

I think he did. I think he did tell us that. Did he tell us that? Yeah. It was in the middle of something important, so we glossed over it. Luigi. Luigi Che. Big Ed, do you want to do a live yak in January?

Sure. All right. When do you want to do it? January 14th, maybe. What's on January 14th? What? What's on January 14th? That's a Tuesday.

Maybe not. Wait, no, that's not a Tuesday. That's a Friday. Yeah. Would you rather do a Thursday? We should do... Can I throw out an idea? Mm-hmm

It would be cool if we did a live yak That was also a karaoke bar Live vibes So we did a live vibes Okay Where we had to sing the vibes We had to I don't know about singing

That's where you're losing me No, but we also play the music With the lyrics Yeah, we play the music So you're hearing mainly the lyrics. Okay, well, let's see. Well, yeah, some of the songs would absolutely be sing-alongs because it would be live vibes.

You're right. That's genius. Wow. Yeah, I'd do a karaoke bar then. A live vibe. Maybe we get, like, we could probably hire, like, a singer. No. You know what I mean?

No, I'm saying, like, we could hire someone who has a really good voice who could maybe do a couple of the songs without – you know what I mean? Because if we had a real singer – I don't like good singers. I know. I don't even like the sound of their singing. No.

I like unique singers. Okay, we'll find a unique singer. Okay, that's all you had to say. The Live Friday vibes would be sick. The Live Friday vibes. Yes, I want to do that. Yeah, we got to do that. Tacos and Titties is playing hardball with me.

What's Tacos and Titties doing right now? They're playing the rush. Yeah, well. They posted a vegan taco today. Here's what they did. I'm out on Tacos and Titties. I'm up on Poppy Melons. They left me on scene for an hour now.

I said, latest tacos look suspiciously vegan. No problem with it. Just think the fans should be informed. Yeah. Left me on scene. Didn't change their caption. I didn't tell them, but I know. Can we pull up poppy melons?

It would be nice if it was taco, parentheses, vegan, and then when it's titties, titties, parentheses, plastic surgery. Yeah, really? Let us know. Or perky natties. Yeah, perky natties. Or big fatties. Big fatty natties.

Fatty natties. They're typing now. Are they listening now? Oh, my God. This is your chance. If you're listening right now, tacos and titties, post some fatty natties for me. Pull up Puppy Melon. Puppy Melons.

No, we've got to rectify this. We've got to rectify this very quickly. They said, OMGG, how did you know? How did we know? Zog, can you go to light mode? Because you stole it from another account. You stole it from another account. Reply and say one set of fatty natties and we'll pretend this never happened.

Post titties now. Say fatty natties now. Fatty natties now. Say we need fatty natties now. Okay, post fat naturals now. Fatty natties now. Fatty natties now. And then we're going to keep refreshing the page.

Fatty natties. Until the fatty natties pop up. Post fatty natties now and this problem will go away. And this will all be forgotten. Will all be forgotten. Maybe say big fatty natties. I'm worried they don't have... Is that implied?

No. Just saving up. They better have fatty natties on that. Can we go picture in picture? With a constant... Fatty natties cam, please. Fatty natties cam. What the fuck TJ

oh whoops TJ uh oh we lead the league in doxing it's just kind of our thing

yeah it's what we do fuck it oh fuck alright okay Zaz they have seen So that's how you could tell

They did a poor screenshot Of the old tacos Because you can see That black bar at the top Yep They couldn't see it Because they were in night mode So let's get it

Maybe in the corner Just a fatty natty Oh these aren't titties That was what I commented Yeah The guac looks like a fucking Oh you liked it Nick I did

Not me So I like the tacos and ignore the titties. I'm playing hard to get. Got it. Good luck with that. You need a good set of fatty natties to win you over. Can you put this in the corner, maybe, and just have it be fatty natty cam? And we'll hopefully, yeah, fatty natty cam.

And I guess we just got to keep refreshing. And they can crowdsource the Fatty Natties. Oh, yeah, they can come from anywhere. I don't care. We don't even care the source. You can Google Fatty Natties for all I care. Wait, let's Google Fatty Natties. No, no, no.

Let's not do their job for them. I need you boys to pull up Puppy Melons. No, we have to deal with this. I'm all in on Puppy Melons. Puppy Melons is No, we have to. We have to deal with this. I'm all in on Puppy Melons. Puppy Melons. Puppy Melons. Not yet. If they fail this mission,

then it's Puppy Melons. Did you go through Puppy Melons? Fuck Melon Man. No, we're not talking about Puppy Melons. Puppy Melons is discreet. They have legit merch.

They have 100,000 followers. They had around 60 followers. No, that's not cool. That's not fun. Look how fast our customer service was. This is like what? Trust me,

you want to be in on Puppy Melons. No, but Puppy Melons post porn stars. That's not as cool. That's not fun. Look how fast our customer service was. This is like what? Trust me. You want to be in on Puppy Melons. No, but Puppy Melons posts porn stars. That's not cool. That's not cool. Boo. Billy stopped. They post cute ass dogs. It's all in one post, too.

It's a dog and then some melons. I don't want to see dogs. I want tacos. No, you want dogs. No. Fuck that. This is like Billy. I don't think Billy posts on it anymore, but I made him make the big dumpers.

Oh, yeah. Follow that. There's just asses and dump trucks. It's a great idea. Yeah. Big dumpers. What's taking so long? This is bad.

Kyle? Should I hop in, too? Trust me. I know it's bad. I know how bad it is. Should I hop in? I think you might have to. Just to give him a little pressure.

Apply some pressure. You got a spill? See if we can get them on the phone. I just wrote fatty natties now. Oh, she's typing. They're typing. It's a she? Yes.

Tacos and titties is three girls. Really? Why else would I talk to them? And they're all followed by Glennie. Have they all posted themselves? Wait, you know their names? Stop typing. You know there's a good chance.

There's a very high chance that it's the three girls that are currently living in our apartment that we're moving to. Yeah, they're probably all in a huge gym. After Tacos and Titties took off, they're moving to Upper West Side. I refuse to move on until we get a Fatty Natty. Yeah, I think they're working on it, I would hope. You think there's an alarm that goes off at Tacos and Titties Corp? I'm just saying, we're going to have to do a hiatus. Over at HQ.

We need Fatty Natty's stat. We're halting all engagement on the account until they post this. We do have a Fatty Natty 5. We do have a Fatty 95. We do have a Fatty 95 right now. We do. We can play some feud or something. I need to see some titties. I am so horny right now.

I kind of am. I'm hungry from that taco. I need to be horny. There's something nostalgic about getting horny with the boys. Yeah, there is. I just want to fucking jerk off with you guys. Yeah. I'm a Cabela's sleeping bag away from just pounding off right now.

Come on. They show me one fat nap. My boys were none the wiser. I don't even need both fat naps. Tacos and titties. Post one titty. I'm fucking waiting like patients on a monument. Come on.

TJ, can we have the foghorn sound effect queued up? They're typing. They're typing. Okay, okay. I just sent them gimme, gimme, gimme. With the two hands. Typing, typing. Just send them a gif of you going like that.

Stop typing. What is she doing? Typing again. Come on. Wait, LMAO, is it a taco spot? She thinks Fatty Natty's is a taco restaurant?

No, no, no. Say no, big fat natural tits. Say big fat natural tits. Or just say you just made a powerful enemy. Can we see if there's a Fatty Natty's Tacos around? No, it's a genre of tit. Often.

Yeah. Fat, natural. It's a genre of tit often seen in the upper Midwest. It's a genre of titty. In deep south. Oh, that makes sense. On it. All right, let's go.

Let's go. Natties. Come on, natties. Fatty, fatty. Shit. Natties. Let's go. Oh, I'm so bored.

Come on. Give me the titties Okay well they Probably have to gather it And then You don't think that It's a process It's a process

We're getting You guys want to play a game One of us doesn't get to see The fatty natties Yeah Yeah But it's not gonna be me How do we decide

Yeah I don't wanna See the thing is I want to see titties But I want my boys to see titties too Yeah that's the whole Thrill Oh no Yeah, I don't want to. See, the thing is, I want to see titties, but I want my boys to see titties, too. Yeah, that's the whole thrill. Kyle doesn't get to see the titties. Kyle doesn't get to see the titties.

You don't get to see the titties. You don't get to see the titties. Oh, no. Get out, Kyle. Why would you get to see the titties? Get out. Leave. Get out.

Go wait in the lobby. Yeah, yeah. We'll tell you how they were. Leave your phone. Man wait in the lobby. We'll tell you how they were. Leave your phone. Man of integrity. Yes. Okay. He doesn't get to see anything.

Do we have the ability to do two side-by-side kicks? Whoa, where's he going? Those gross tits. No, he took his phone. No, come back. He has to go in the lobby. You got to sit right there. Can we do two picture in pictures or no?

Yeah. Sit on the couch. One second. We should be able to. Oh, no. Attention cam. Oh, boy. We're just going to watch porn on the couch.

No, he's got his phone right here. Oh, shit. We should just have the entire office. No, the's got his phone right here. Oh, shit. We should just have the entire... Office? No, the entire screen just be picture in a picture. Yeah. Like five of them.

We now have Fatty Natty Cam and also Kyle Time Out Cam. Oh, he's going to be so mad when we get to see And they're going to be big, too. Oh, dude. They fucking suck about it. fucking for his cam can you just

have it say they better be like titties this guy hates titties yeah what if they're not natty there's always a there's always a very high risk when you're looking at a pair of of fatties that they aren't if they're jellyfish we riot oh my god come on Come on. I'm starving. It's the tacos. I know. You want to go get some tacos? I would love some tacos. I've never posted Fatty Natties.

Maybe. Oh, yeah, they have. Yeah, early on. Oh, yeah. I'm looking at some. Yeah. KB's turning his head. He's antsy.

Here, let's test him. Let's see if we can be loud and celebrate and see if he turns his head. Ready? Three, two, one. Oh! Let's go! He almost did. Let's go!

Oh, my God. He almost did. Let's go. Oh, my God. No, have a good one. Turn around. We're just going to end the show and walk past. Oh, boy. I'm worried that they're like DMing KB, like looking for approval. Well, I've also DMed him Are these big enough?

They never are He has nothing to do He's so bored over there Come on Show me something KB Spycam perfect Show me something. KB Spycam, perfect. Show me that. Maybe a refresh.

Taking far too long. Yeah, how hard is it to find titties on the internet? They just need to go to their explore page and screenshot the first thing they see. Yes. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, oh. He's getting mad. I love it.

Wouldn't you be? I love to see him frustrated, both physically and sexually. TJ, any way we could have Spycam be this guy hates titties? Titty hater? Yeah? Titty hater? Yeah. Titty hater's good. There's Mincy. Fucking Mincy.

Hank loves Fatty Natties. Everyone's walking by for a peek. Yep, and they just can't. They just want some Fatty Natties. We'll stay all day. I will. I'd like to go home and take a nap, but I will forego that. It's taking too long.

Let's see if the people in the comments are revolting. It should be. What are you doing this weekend? Nothing. Watching football. Game of the year. Georgia minus six and a half. Huge.

And then watching football on sunday jake marsh calling iona verse rider on espn plus yeah that's gonna be awesome yeah gonna watch that bet on that what's what are you guys doing are you doing any stand-up sass um i did it i did a set yesterday at the stand and i might ask if i can if they have any spots for tonight who'd you do it with florentine florentine was there. Also, I told Florentine he could come on the Yak on Thursday the 16th. Yeah, Florentine has a special coming out

on the 13th of December. So he wants to come on the 16th to promote it. Of course. And also, he definitely got laid. He did? He was talking to like eight different girls. Does he crush? Yeah.

Really? Big time. That's awesome.? Does he crush? Yeah. Yeah. Really? Big time. That's awesome. Yeah. It's the man. Yeah. He's got a very funny voice. I know.

I was crushing his impression last night. Do it. I need something to say. I know. I don't know if I could pull it off right now. He was talking to the other team. I don't want to try it. Either pull it off right now. He was talking to the other team. I don't want to try. Either pull it off or take off your hat.

He was like, he's going right into the impression. Oh God, okay. I forget how it was. He's like, so far so good. So he burped? He was burping a lot.

Yeah, I can't do go to I can't do it I can't do it Cause it took too long It took me like 10 minutes Just to get into it And then I mastered it Where does he live? New Jersey?

Yeah He's got kids right? Yeah He's really He's got He's a very He's a very funny stand up We've seen him a couple times

I'm excited to see his special Come on It's so funny that he like Works at Barstool I know We've seen him a couple times. I'm excited to see his special. Come on. It's so funny that he works at Barstool. I know. He was in... What was the movie with LeBron and Amy Schumer? Train Wreck. He was in that.

Really? Yeah, for less than a second. It was awesome. I paused my TV and I was like, Florentine. Beauty. Beauty. Yeah. Did he used to come in more when they were serious? He said that he used to come in.

That's what he said. He said he used to come in every week before COVID. Yes, he did come in every week, but nothing to do with serious. And then they got him set up at home. Oh, he did. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, very frequent. And now he no longer comes in.

I told him he should start coming in. What did he say? He was like, whoa! Whoa! Yes! No, Kyle, no! Full screen, full screen, full screen. Full screen.

Fatty Natty. Just when we forgot about him. Whoa! Whoa, let me see him. I got to see him. I got to see him. Whoa! Wow, sir.

And they're Fatty and Natty. That's exactly what I pictured. Oh, my God. Fatty Natty, baby. Double whammy for you today as requested by KB. Go to the net. Is there two pictures? I love it.

Natty's. Oh, there are two pictures. There's two pictures. Yeah. Oh. Oh, there's three. Hell yeah. There's three. There's three. There's a rumpy dumpy. That is a rumpy dumpy. No, there isn't. Hell yeah. There's three.

There's a rumpy dumpy. That is a rumpy dumpy. No, there isn't. With the fatty natty. What a day. Wowzer. Oh, those are good. It was worth the wait.

KB's going to be pissed. Dude, KB, you missed, bro. Let's go. This is real sus at KB of missing. Oh, man. Should we blindfold him, let him see? Yeah, fuck it. All right, yeah, let's end the show with him coming in.

Blindfold him. Show him the natties. It's going to be like those videos colorblind kids seeing for the first time she's gonna cry fatty fucking natties baby oh this is such a stupid show. I love it so much. It's great, too, because the moment we stopped paying attention to it, that's when they dropped it on us. Yeah. We had to just think about something else. And here comes Kyle.

Nick has him blindfolded, and he's coming in. So I make it like I'm making a big, big dude. They're Make it a big dude. They're not in here, dude. He's got his hands out. Hands out, ready to squeeze. Okay. Okay. Here he comes. He's going to stand right there.

Okay. Wait, wait. What's going on? You're going to get to see the Fatty Natties. Pull up the Natties? Please pull up the Fatty Natties. You mean we Is he Asian? No.

No, no, no. He asked if it was a juicy Asian. We didn't request that. What did you get? A rounder... What did you call it? A lumpy dumpy.

No, a rumpy dumpy. Lumpy is bad. It's a rumpy dumpy. Rumpy dumpy. Lumpy is bad. It's a rumpy dumpy. You can have tasteful lumps. All right. Okay, so here it is. Kyle. Kyle.

Ready? Reveal. All right. Pull it off. Oh, my. It's a fatty nanny, bro. They tag her? Yeah, they tagged her.

Yeah, they tagged her. I feel like I'm tangentially related to her in some way. So I... I made her happen. They tagged you. Oh, my God. They tagged me with it. Who is it?

Oh, Naomi. Only 11,000. That's humble. Doable. That's doable, Kyle. Doable. That's attainable. And she's followed.

Let's click on Naomi and see if she's actually followed by Kyle. Yep. Am I tacos and titties? Surprisingly, nobody else. Oh, there's Brandon. Let's go.

Worth the wait. Oh, TJ. TJ. Guys, everyone's got to follow. I mean, she's fine. No, like, no jokes no jokes Like she is the one Everyone has to follow Everyone has to follow

It's only right Come on Let's see this Oh she's at 11.6 Let's refresh Switch up to Affirmative action No swag Swag Daddy witch up to affirmative action.

No swag. Swag. Daddy. What? Big cat. Yeah, I'm falling. You gotta be respectful. Did you just whisper daddy to yourself? You gotta be respectful. Yes, you did. No, I fucking didn't. Yes, you did. No, I never. Yes, you did.

You went, how the fuck? Daddy. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, I never. Yes, you did. How the fuck? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No, I fucking didn't. I'll show it to you after the show. Okay. Everyone go follow her. Let's boost her up.

It looks like she's a nurse. I want her 15,000. Let's get her to 15. Let's get tacos and TNT to five. Speaking of which, last night at MSG. Brandon's heading out. They had first responders night, so it was a nurse choir at halftime. No, a nurse choir?

All right, Brandon, let's end the show. End the show. He missed the titties. You missed the titties. All right, see everyone on Monday. You don't get to see the fatty natties. The fatty natties. We'll see you then. That will do. is the act is the act Thank you.