The Yak - Someone's Going to Kansas for a Cup Stacking Tournament | The Yak 3-3-23

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

You're thinking of Shazam with SinbadYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Happy H-N-E Friday. High noon. Oh, yeah, Kate, I think yours got a little shook up when I threw it to you. It did. That's okay. We got ourselves the classic crew. Kate, I think yours got a little shook up when I threw it to you. It did. That's okay. We got ourselves the classic crew.

Kate, Titus, Francis. KB was sitting in here and then left right at one. But before we get into anything, our presenting sponsor today, if we look in the corner to Titus' right, everybody's right except for Kate. Roback. We love Roback. Best fit, best feel. The quality, the comfort, the material.

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Hell yeah. Good ad reading. Friday, great ad reading. I used to be really bad. This is the A-team, I would say, the YAK A-team. Oh, yeah. The four of us. That's why we're all on the logo.

That's whenever I'm on a rundown i'm like uh-oh they were slim pickings today yeah that was yeah but not here here every time i'm asked to do something i'm i ask who dropped out yeah me too i have a question i can i can i can i start i guess we we need stuff to talk about right and I feel like this is very topical. And I think I saw Kate tweeting about this last night. Yeah. And it's a huge blind spot for me. What is this murder trial or something?

Oh, yeah. I literally know nothing about this. And I just saw people talking about it. Why don't you stick to basketball? I'm too busy focused on the important things, which are 19-year-olds playing each other in basketball. Those are the things that... So Kyle's like our murder guy.

Yeah. What's going on? Can you, given like a 30-second full entire... I watched the whole documentary. Did you watch the documentary? Yeah, it's a very small town in South Carolina. There's one prominent family. They own a law firm.

Like the richest people in town. The powerful people. The dad killed a bunch of people. Hold on a second. That's a very... I wish I could...

I think it's more interesting than that. Yeah, like why does a speed run story? The kids would always get out of trouble. They would do something that would get anybody else... Like kill a girl on a boat. You're going to try to give you an actual line-by-line breakdown as fast as I can and be out of character? Yeah, I just want to know what makes this more interesting.

So KB's right. Well, first of all, what's interesting is that this family, that's what they were. They were lawyers, generations of lawyers. His father, his father, his father. To the degree that they had all of the power in the town. I didn't know this could still exist today, but they had a law firm where the police were afraid of them. Nobody would touch them. Real old-timey southern good old boy.

It feels like something that you didn't think still existed. That absolutely exists to lesser degrees all across America. I would say even Wheeling has some people who would get in trouble. There are some people that just can't get in trouble. But not to this degree. When these crimes

would happen, people would be dying. The police would be like did you see who that was behind the wheel? You know we can't touch them. They were afraid. For example, the only gay kid in town was found dead in the middle of the road. And nothing came of it. No one was around. He was probably killed by one of the sons.

The son, the living son, Buster, apparently was fucking him and probably killed him. And then the housekeeper that they had fell down the stairs, and everyone's like, wow, that's just a bad run of luck around them. And the dad took all her insurance money that the kids were supposed to get and was like, don't worry, kids, I'll invest it for you. The dad of the owner of the house took the insurance money from the maid.

He took out the policy and then By suing himself. We're doing a really poor job. Yeah, it starts off with this kid is in a boat. I got the gist of it, I guess. The guy went down though, so that's why everyone was talking about it.

They finally stuck him with something. He killed his wife and son. He, he went down yesterday. They finally arrested him. They finally stuck him with something. Because he killed his wife and son. Killed his wife and son. The fuck? Yeah, that's the main point, I guess. Very same son who had driven a speedboat into a bridge and killed one of the girls

on the boat. Holy shit. Well, they spent like the first hour of the program just really making this youngest son the most unlikable person in the world. Oh yeah, he just got killed. Episode 3, you pity him.

Was it on Netflix or something? This is my question. Netflix released this three episode documentary on the eve of the trial reaching its verdict.

How is that ethical? I don't think it is. I mean, Etsy has a whole shop going right now of Murda Murder merch. It's going like hotcakes, and it's the Reba lyrics. What is it? Never trust a Southern lawyer. It's like something like that, and it's like the reba lyrics uh what is it never trust a southern lawyer it's like something like that and it's like those lyrics with his face and they're selling i'm all these women on tiktok who have been covering the crime like crazy they're all

wearing his fit like myrtle merch yeah it's not ethical and it shouldn't be legal don't you see what i mean like historically obviously judges stood your ground by not watching that's right judges tell jurors there's been a lot of publicity about this case. If you see anything, you've got to put up your hands over your ears and not listen. Don't let any of that factor in. Right. Yeah. But it's impossible to quarantine a jury when there is this much media coverage.

Yeah. I literally didn't know a single thing about it until last night. I saw people talking about coverage. I literally didn't know a single thing about it until last night I saw people talking about it. So I don't know. It's one thing for there to be tons of headlines and news coverage about the trial and the case and all that. Obviously that's unavoidable. But for Netflix

to release a three part docu-series which clearly had a slant right? Those documentary filmmakers had pretty much made up their mind what they wanted to portray. It makes you hate them. As you should, but like...

On the eve, wouldn't it have benefited the documentary even for them to wait until there was a final verdict in the trial? I think they loved that. Say this is how it all ended up? They loved that last line of the documentary though. The dad calling the brother. I mean, well, if the brother didn't kill that kid,

then everyone thinks he did. They outed him as gay as well. Imagine if in the OJ trial, that OJ and American Crime Story thing had been released two days before they made their decision. Did you see him on Twitter yesterday? He was like, here's my personal opinion on it. Not that I'm an expert or anything.

And he gave his like, gave like a five minute talk about his thoughts on the Murdoch trial. Even like separate of the Netflix, which I do agree with you. But like that whole, the Murdoch thing like popped on TikTok like a year and a half ago. Oh, it's been hot forever. Those are almost, honest to God, some of those TikToks are better than documentaries. Yes. Yeah.

I don't know. What do they do? People that are too invested in murderers weird me out. The Gabby Petito subreddit is like, they're jonesing for another one. Yeah, yeah. It becomes like, oh, they loved it. Yeah. It's almost like a sports type thing where you're like cheering.

You found like a team you're on and you're trying to like cheer for... Yeah. Yeah. Leave it to you to make that analogy. I'm a big sports guy, Nick. This is Barstool Sports, right? I'm from Chicago. I mean, to be fair, he would have known about the murder if ESPN had posted like an Instagram.

It's true. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. It's true. If Joe Linardi cut in to say breaking news, the Murdoch family, is that it? I'll never forget where I was. They moved into my first four out. First four out. Yeah. I would be very tuned into this.

But all right. Well, I feel like I know enough now. You know enough. Donnie, did you watch it? I did. I think your mic's off. Yeah, I can't hear you. You, how about now?

Yeah. I did see it. And I know Buster, who's the only member of the family who's not either in jail for life or dead, he lives in Hilton Head, South Carolina with his girlfriend. Nice area. Yeah. He has a girlfriend. Yeah.

Oh. Apparently. But hey, a lot of gay guys do well oh i guess so what does he do what is he doing now i said uh on anus yesterday more going to work more gay guys have fucked women than they have dunked a basketball yeah i think that's true yeah what's the point of that i think uh dunking a basketball is straighter than fucking a woman Do you see the irony in that? There was an openly gay guy in the NBA

Gay people by definition probably shouldn't be fucking women I thought you were going to say be able to dunk I do They should be able to Because there is no like height difference i thought you were trying to say i thought you were saying something weirdly homophobic you're like an east palestine train when it comes to conversations with you two i like to dig in yeah i like i really dig what you meant yeah yeah yeah um pat can jump higher than

me for sure oh yeah yeah i can definitely dunk i think there's a lot of people that can jump higher than you donnie yeah i have zero up oh i can't jump you dunk titus uh yeah i think i don't know i i dunked like a year ago and i don't year ago, and I do not feel like a young man. Did you dunk better than Brandon Walker? Oh, absolutely. All right. No question about that. He prides himself on that.

Yeah. Doesn't Brandon say he won a dunk contest? Yeah. In high school or something? Yeah, he said he won his high school dunk contest against, I forget who the guy was. He remembers his name. Poke Banana, I think it was.

Poke Banana. It was Dunkin' for Apples, probably. When Kyle and I went to Lawrence, Kansas for a video, I swore that I would never return to Kansas. But then something happened to me last night. Around 9 o'clock last night, my phone vibrates. It's a text in a group chat. And I don't have any of the numbers saved. And it's a photo with a text.

And TJ, pull it up if you could. Four people. And we can scroll down. It's a boy with a trophy. And scroll down a little bit more. Gage got his first cup stacking tournament. We just got home after a long night. So proud of all his hard work he put into this.

His next competition is Wednesday at 7. If anybody would like to stop by, great job, Gage. The other text right below said, that's my nephew. And then I said, hell yes, Gage, with the trophy in there. Yes. Cup stacking. That's a Kansas area code I got it for so I might be out Wednesday at 7

I need you guys to help me think of my next step here because I'm going to send this number of text right now it's like hey you added me to this group chat this morning they sent a text actually that's the kid who becomes the guy who starts the cup snake at Wrigley he'll become that you know what it is Here comes the guy who starts the cup snake at Wrigley. He'll become that. Like, what is cup snake? You know what it is.

You've seen it. It's a speed stack, a pyramid, and then down. Can we see a video of, like, a champion speed cup stacker to get the idea? They're pretty. Bibbs had us do it on Lowering the Bar once. It's impressive. They go fast as fuck. It appears like he won a big event because that's a nice trophy with a nice Olympic-style medal.

The Cup Stackers seem to be like spelling bee kids with good hand-eye coordination. Yeah. The same sort of kid, but they can... Wouldn't they just like... A lot of them are Asian. ...sport if they had good hand-eye coordination? That.

Look at that. Holy shit. Wow, that was nuts. What is this kid? Is he on tour? He's doing another one on Wednesday? Wednesday? But this was his first one, and he won.

Meme idea, meme idea. The Georgia football team is watching Nolan, what's his name? The dude that ran the 4-4 yesterday. You saw the video where the whole- Oh, I didn't see it. The Georgia team was watching their teammate run in the edge rusher on Georgia. They just ran like a 4-4 at the combine. You're in the wrong crowd.

Again, I thought this was a 4-3-9, wasn't it? Not tracking on this at all. Look, look, yeah. 2-2 at 40 pounds. This video where they're all losing their minds. Oh, we got to throw the cup stacker over this. Yes, and then it's the cup stacker. All these guys are going nuts about it.

That was it. Throw the cup stacker over there. Yes, and then it's the cup stacker. Let's please do that. All these guys are going nuts about a... Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! The time... In time, yeah. Time lines up perfect. Oh, I want friends like that.

You've got to run faster, Kate. I know, I do. Yeah, that's the problem. You have no friends like that. No, they're trying to get paid. Yeah. Does this kid get paid? Age?

Yeah. I need help. Yeah, I like this kid. The person that sent the photo of Gage said, thanks for all the support. Sorry if you weren't meant to be in this. I'm not sure what's going on with my phone. The phone's fault.

Yeah, it's... It wasn't user error. Offer buy him a new phone. I don't think it's gage that was texting me oh the gauge is mom well this reminds me of that thanksgiving the grandma who accidentally invited that guy to thanksgiving and he's been going now for 10 years so i'm gonna get wrapped into going to an annual kansas cup stacking right for the next decade or so fantastic yeah do i respond yes? Yes. I think you should. Would you guys come with me? No. Okay.

Is it weird to say I'm fully invested now? I'm rooting him on? Or I don't know. It's more like, hey, I don't know what to say. Do you think it's someone who does know who you are? I don't. Is it just a random West Virginia number they had? Must be. Okay.

I got a random text recently and I should have played along, but I didn't. Uh, the first text was all in Chinese. And then, um, so I, I had it translated and said, um, Oh, I, oh i it said like can you come to our house and cook next week and i was like um sure and they're like my name is avery i'm having a party and i want you to be the chef and it was asking me what types of french food i could cook and i was like i'm sorry i don't cook french food and then they're like, what? You're not Jenny? And I said no, but, like, I'd be more than willing to come over and cook, like, crab rangoons of the sort. Do it.

And, yeah. You walking in the door would have been so funny. I should have just played along. Hi, how are you? I'm for some French. Yeah. Somebody. Entire French meal.

Who has my phone number, keeps on just making me OBGYN appointments. I get like eight texts a day. That's probably why I can't get one. They're all booked up by you. I keep on getting smeared left and right. I do, but do you think that since your number did get out, do you think that this is a psyop? This one doesn't feel like it. Just the way that they're typing

older people. And that trophy, you looked at it close and it was like the real... And you know the other people didn't care. And the group, only one responded. Two responded, said congrats. If he's doing them like on Wednesdays every week,

it's an overkill. Is it possible that everybody was the wrong number? No, because somebody said, that's my nephew. Oh, yeah, that's true. I mean, that's pretty funny, though. I should have said that. States of fact, yeah. I would like to see cups. I would like cups

stacking more as if each place they went on these tours or wherever they do, they don't just stack cups. I want to see them stack things. I wanted them to be good at stacking things in general, of all varieties. Like they get a mystery box. Yeah, that's like local to where they're at. Oh.

That would be fun. Because they're super good at stacking these cups. And they do it in such a flash that it's almost like after you see a few, it's like, okay, everyone's just so fast at this. Like I want to see them stack you know like water bottles in colorado you know okay something like that or like beer bottles like things that are difficult that would be fun for me i'm responding i don't think they'd mind if you

showed up this could be the start of some beauty isn't there like a famous internet story that it's the Thanksgiving dinner. The Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know that one. That's fun. Do you for another?

It's the black boy with the two older. I think the guy died. The guy died. He still went back. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, this feels like this except you're going to cup stacking tournaments and you're just following Gabe on his cup stacking. Where in Kansasansas is it do you know i want a clue kansas man i spent some i spent too

much time in kansas why hockey uh hockey yeah when i played junior hockey in texas we played against the team in our conference called the topeka road runners and topeka is a there's not much there's just not much going on I'm not going to shit on it but it's just there's so many places in that like middle stretch of Tornado Alley that is just

it's a bizarre place I was stuck in Missouri for a while in the middle of Missouri and it's nothing doing it's all over the world out there

the spaces between the towns are shocking yeah space between space between these towns it's Dave Matthew. Space between. Space between these towns. It's because I got a chewing, son. But yeah, no, we stayed at this Holiday Inn every time we went there that was next door to a strip club. Nothing chilling at the Holiday Inn.

And who you with? I love that jam. It's a good one. Yeah, no. You ever see a tornado? I've seen a couple, like Spiral. Never touched ground. But my billet fam kyle how did the how did that happen how did it spill that much it shot straight up in the air it's bubbly those things are bubbly yeah bubbly love a good bubble but yeah my billet family had

a everyone in my in the area that I lived in in Texas had a tornado shelter. Every single person had a tornado shelter. And we used to pass the time by playing either frisbee golf or just shooting random things with a BB gun. Or playing Skyrim. Is everybody here...

West Virginia gets tornadoes. You guys are from West Virginia. No, no, we don't. We're two up. Nobody in this room is familiar with like living in a place I would be horrified I think that's

I'm the most really? too random Denver kinda gets them but like I've never really experienced I was in Redstone Arsenal in Alabama for training

in 2010 when they had that outbreak of like 400 tornadoes and there was just it was like tornado tornado tornado and we had to go

to the shelter of our hotel and in the morning like everything was just torn it was like tornado tornado tornado and we had to go to the shelter of our hotel and in the morning like that everything was just destroyed our course got canceled because all of our instructors homes got destroyed like and when we flew out afterwards it was like looking down like uh like a giant steamroller had just rolled you could see the paths of all the different tornadoes had just like but it was crazy you could like lean completely forward into the wind until they yelled at us but the brought a bunch of yinglings down in the basement and just boozed it up down there but you could hear them it was crazy they were like that was crazy but wow that's scary as fuck yeah it was it was nutty yeah i grew up in

the midwest in indiana that was just like every every midwestern man i know you hear a tornado warning and instead of like going to shelter you go out and on your front porch and you watch it come in and then like when it gets like kind of close you're like yeah i should probably go to the basement and that's when you so like people from the midwest are i don't know when your wife starts yelling at you enough tornadoes will fuck it like they'll fuck up like obviously when you were in indiana did any did any homes get destroyed? It never – I don't remember an instance where our town got flattened or anything like that. But there were definitely –

We'll probably remember that. I would remember that one. There were definitely stories of towns a couple hundred miles away. Tornadoes are just a thing. But for whatever reason, you just get so used to it. I don't know. It's fascinating. Because tornadoes – yeah, if you told me a tornado to it. I don't know. It's fascinating. If you

told me a tornado was coming right now, I would probably go walk outside. I would try to see it. Earthquakes would fuck me up too. In every sense of the word, but just knowing that you can't escape it where you go for a little bit. Earthquakes fuck. Living in LA.

I have not gotten used to them. Everyone just kind of goes about their day like it's not a big deal. And yeah, that's, yeah. I don't know. What does New York have? What's like the thing that like- Hurricane Sandy. 9-11s.

Right, 9-11s. What's the deal? Most per capita. A little hurricane. Where do you think the biggest tornado in history was? I've read China has 10 of, like, no, maybe 8 of the 10 most horrific natural disasters. Tornadoes are, it might be stupid, specific to the U.S.? No, I thought that. And I said it once and I got fact-checked and it was really not.

Where are tornadoes happening? It's not true. Anywhere that's flat? Mostly in the U.S. Bangladesh? Mostly in the U.S. Mostly in the U.S. Bangladesh is the worst. Hurricanes aren't specific. Bangladesh.

Hurricanes are called typhoons or cyclones in other countries. Bangladesh was the largest of all time. Typhoons and hurricanes are the same thing? Yep, and cyclones. Yeah, Bangladesh had the worst. What would you say, tornado? Yeah. Also, I think Bangladesh, that border of India, Bangladesh,

also had the worst hurricane typhoon of all time as well. They get their asses fucked. The armpit of India. Bad bones. Bad bones. They get their asses fucked. I'll bite your tongue. Literally the armpit.

I'm not saying it's gross. It's just like it's up there in the armpit region. Yeah. Yeah, like Florida. Florida looks like the panhandle looks like a... The Florida panhandle looks like an armpit. Yeah, that's exactly what I meant. Right, right.

Did you write them back? I did. What'd you say? Hello. I was in a text... Sorry. Damn, I'm good today. I'm delighted by everything he does.

I am. It's true. Hello. I was in a text message chain for Gage's big cup stacking win. I don't think I know you, but I work for a sports media company called Barstool Sports and would love to come check out one of the... Love to come check out and get some camera's eyes

on one of the tourneys. That's it. Nice. Very nice. That'd be really cool. That would be. That'd be sweet. Send the storm chasers there. Yeah. If it's in Kansas, you might be able to kill two birds with one stone because spring is coming up,

which is hurricane season. Or tornado season. Francis, if you want to come interview a cup stacking kid. Oh, yeah, that's your thing. Do you have more kids under your belt or what are you doing?

Yeah. Under my belt, inside my pants. We're going to go, I think, see some kids in the Dakotas. Oh, okay. Oh, what? South Dakota?

Francis does like a one-on-one interview show with children where he did one with Brandon's son that kicked it all off. It was phenomenal. Like kids say the darndest things, Bill Cosby? Yes. Yeah, okay. I'm familiar. In a professional interview.

For this generation. Instead of banging their moms without consent. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm banging the kids. I was waiting for the twist. Drop that home, baby. I was waiting for the twist.

I'm going to go back home. I feel delirious today. What a weird week this has been. For you, yeah. No, not, I don't know. It's just I feel like we've had weird days off for some reason. Everything you do becomes a thing. I kick the hornet's nest.

Yeah, I guess. Find them in my path and I punt them. Do you feel out of place working here, Francis? No. Just in general. I don't mean like that's not a do you like working here. It's like do you – because in the short time that I've worked here, as I observe everybody and how they kind of interact in the office,

it almost feels like you're like Jane Goodall, like studying like a species of ape as you're like walking around the office. As I watch Francis watch everyone else. Did she get murdered? like a species of ape as you're like walking around the office as i watch francis watch everyone else i get murdered was it her or i went for all those gorillas there's two women that were conservationists that went and lived with the jane goodall was not murdered she was the other there was another one gorillas in the mist right wasn't that jane goodall wait there was grizzly man where the guy one of them there were two they both went they were in rwanda they were in the the volcanoes national park i've never been there one of them went and lived with the gorillas

to protect them and the poachers killed her oh the poachers not the gorillas no okay yeah i was gonna say because you i don't do that wouldn't if if a chimpanzee or an ape murders you, that's not considered a murder, right? What is that considered? Ah. Hmm. Maming? Yeah, it's a little maiming.

A maiming? Isn't there a country that's trying to give orangutans rights because they're so close to being human? Yeah. No, New Zealand. I think it was New Zealandaland gave uh made a duck a lieutenant or something probably did i love that when i when a town has a cat for a mayor yeah i love that kind of thing yeah me too i was thinking about getting a cat cat i like you should

i love my cat yeah where do you where do you get a cat aspca upper west side yeah i can't get over the hump of having a box of shit in my apartment. That's my rub, too. I just bought an electronic litter box that looks like a space helmet. I've seen that. You don't have a cat. I know. Now I'm going to need to get one.

Interesting order of operations. You've got the big round one. I've been talking about it for a while, so now this will make me get it. So can you explain to me what you like about cats, Kate, as someone who loves cats? It depends on the kind of cat you get, I guess. But my guy, he's just like a little shadow. He's always on the couch. I always have somebody next to me who's nice and toasty.

He likes to be with you? Yeah, he's always next to me. I have my son. He was always next to him, keeping him toasty. I don't know. He's just a good dude. Does he have one eyeball? No, he's kind next to me. I have my son. He was always next to him, keeping him to himself. I don't know. He's just a good dude. Does he have one eyeball? No, he's kind of cross-eyed.

Oh, cats have this. Oh, that rules. Yeah, he can never follow the laser pointers with toys. I wish he was two of them, probably. Yeah. Well, that would be nice. Most of the time when people try to explain what they like about cats more than dogs, it just seems they're like, I don't have to ever do anything with the cat.

I don't know where it is half the time. It's great's a great partnership it involves no work and then i hear that and i think well why do you have this thing if it's like you know if it if it hates you and it just spends all its time in the other room and you know i i don't know but a cat sitting on the couch with you would be nice yeah he keeps me on my toes too every time he hides under the kitchen table and every time i walk by he runs out and like gets my ankles, and then he runs back under. It keeps you alert. He's very exciting. They're cute animals or beautiful.

Yeah. They are. I'm kind of with you on that. They're very pretty. Every time I come home from work, he barrel rolls on the floor at my feet like he's pumped that I'm hot. I don't want hair on all my shit. They flaunt their buttholes, and you have a box of shit. They do.

That's true. You can't make that argument and then be pro-dog. Why not? Because they're ten times grosser, ten times more inconvenient, and ten times harder to deal with. You train the dog not to shit in the house. I don't have to train a cat. The cat has to shit in the house.

You don't have to do anything. But can you have it in the the cat? In the litter box. Yes, you can. No. Yeah, you can. You can, but that's what I like. There's no intense emotional connection. Yeah.

You're very obviously a cat guy. So are your interests aligned? I guess my question is, why not just get a membership to the local zoo and just go observe the tigers or something? I don't want to go to a zoo. It's nice to have in your own house. It'll come, you know, sit in your lap every once in a while, cuddle with you when you're about to sleep.

Are you going to buy a catnip? What is that? No. It's essentially drugs for cats. Yeah, no, I don't need that. You get really hyped up on that stuff. I think they're, like, yeah, one of few types of animals that, like, just enjoy recreational drugs. And we encourage it.

I have a question. For catnip. I have a question for you, Kyle, speaking of cats. As compared to when Big Cat's here how is this going no because I know it's stemming from reality

it's constantly going through your head. How is this going poorly? What should I do to fix this? One to ten. Big Cat's ten. We do the show every day. Yeah, but he's usually here. We've done hundreds without him where we're talking,

and we don't think about, oh, this is good or bad. Sure. You're not thinking about that? Even when I'm listening to the Yak, I'm thinking about it. You asked that on the Mean Girl podcast. You were like, how is this going? And they're like, oh. Did I ask them that?

Yeah. I did? Yes. Also did on Anus. I didn't think several times. I didn't think it was going well on the Mean Girl pod. But on Anus, I thought it was going great. Yeah.

It was. It did go good. It was funny.us i thought it was going great yeah it was it did go good it was funny well received episode yeah it was funny i like when cats just like use their paws and they like yeah making dough they like reach out and they like kind of like i mean i like dogs too it's just more so uh in new york with my current lifestyle it just makes a lot more sense yeah They're just much more low maintenance. It's interesting that there's a whole breed of domesticated animal that is totally okay with being inside the entirety of their life. I know that there's outdoor cats.

Cats will run away the first chance they get. Mine got onto my patio. It's three really tall stories up because then there's stories. I guess it's a four-story apartment. He got out onto my patio it's like three really tall stories up because in their store so i guess like a fourth story apartment and he got out onto our patio and went there's like a railing and he went on the other side of the railing where there's only like a centimeter of shit and i was like oh my god he's about to like there was nowhere for him to go but to jump to his death and i was on my hands and knees with like wet cat food crawling and i just because like how do you explain that on social media? I can't be like,

well, he jumped off my patio and died. I was like, you better get the bug back in here. It took me an hour. He was just on that ledge for an hour. He was on the ledge. He was weaving in and out between the two things. I was like, oh my god. Am I about to watch him leap to his death?

He came back. It was very stressful. I like the fully grown. The thing I do like about cats too is i don't think i've ever seen a cat self-conscious well what do you mean i don't think he's fucking right i don't think i've ever seen a cat be self-conscious he hasn't discovered big cats what have you what have you seen be self-conscious i've seen dogs be self-conscious or damaged emotionally like when you look at them when they're pooping yeah when my dog's pooping he What have you seen be self-conscious? I've seen dogs be self-conscious or damaged emotionally. Like when you look at them when they're pooping?

Yeah, when my dog's pooping, he doesn't like that. They look 100% confident in everything that they do, even if it's nothing, which is 90% of the time. But they seem like wherever they are, they're like, yeah, this rules. You want us to pick you out a cat right now? Should we look at some sights? No. Okay.

No. Maine coons are beautiful. No, dude. They have big, long faces. I don't like that. I'd get a dwarf cat if I could. They have the legs that are this long. Oh, yeah. Okay. Like Lil Bub. Rest in peace. I don't know Lil Bub.

He was a viral little cat. Is anybody a weird pet guy in the office? My first pet was a chinchilla. Billy Football. Billy Football, yeah. As in albino hedgehog. RTD is a snake guy. Snakes.

I think my family would be considered a weird pet. I had a lizard. My brother had a lizard. And then my brother also had a parrot that we housed for a while. The parrot is now famous on TikTok. You guys got rid of the parrot? Parrots live forever, right? Super long.

They live like 60 years. That's crazy. You got rid of the parrot and now it's famous on TikTok. Parrots live forever, right? Super long. They live like 60 years. That's crazy. You got rid of the parrot and now it's famous on TikTok. Yes. You're getting unleashed its full potential. Oh, someone else adopted it? Yeah, so one funny story is my brother and his girlfriend at the time got the parrot. His name is Paco.

And he's a South American parrot. Beautiful bird. He's huge. He's like this fucking big. Colors. Green, orange, the whole nine. Says a ton of words, everything. He was really interesting.

Utterly terrifying, and it takes a long time for them to warm up to you, and if that thing bites, it could inflict some pretty good damage. It takes a long time for them to warm up to you. Once you get it, you can pet its head. It's amazing. My brother had it with his girlfriend, and then they broke up.

She kept the parrot. She got a new boyfriend, and then it picks up new words in whatever environments it's in, so it started saying the new boyfriend's name. Then they lived for so long that a lot of times they transfer owners over the course of their life.

She then was like, okay, I can't take care of it. My brother took it back. My brother's a field biologist, so he loves birds. He studies birds for a living. Did he have to hear, like, was the I can't take care of her. My brother took it back. My brother's a field biologist, so he loves birds. He studies birds for a living. Did he have to hear, like, was the new boyfriend making her moan louder? I was going to make that same joke. No, that's why. Your cock is so much bigger.

Then he took the parrot back, and it just kept saying the new boyfriend's name. Oh, no. It was unbelievable. What was his name? I don't remember. I don't remember i don't remember but then my brother had to go to saipan so he couldn't take the bird with him and we took the bird and uh we took paco and it's cool because they have like tier systems of their phrases they have like base layer what they say all the time like he answered the phone he's like hi how are you and then like the you

know the door someone comes in the door rings the doorbell he says knock knock and then like based on his mood he has like more rare phrasings and sayings and he also had this bell that he was like very territorial and sexually attracted to it was like the precious it was like he was like golem and so we would only give him the bell every once in a while but when he had the bell he was a fucking problem like and he would say all these new phrases like one time only one time i heard him say this he had his bell and my sister's cat walked by and he just goes kitty kitty kitty kitty and all of us were just like what the fuck because a lot of the time what they say is just like random things that they hear but that one like showed like consciousness which is bizarre And you can't prove that it knows that.

And you got rid of it. Yeah, and then we shot it with a shotgun. You see the parrot at the softball game? What's the parrot at the softball game? It just, like, landed on the ump. Oh, that's terrifying. That seems like it has to be, like, a trained parrot. It's just going to.

Watch it eventually just perches on the umpire. That is such a nice look. It is awesome. They're so gorgeous. I like birds. I love them. Imagine that getting hit by a baseball. Yeah, is this wild? There's a couple of them.

Boom. One just landed on the umpire. That's a lifetime. That's such a cool match. Is this part of the show? Dude, he's just like, yeah, let's roll it. What is happening right now? That's so dope.

If it was a wild parrot, would it just land on a human like that? Chad Steers is the home plate umpire. That bird looks extremely comfortable on his left shoulder. It's like a Pirates game. There's a second bird. The second bird is about to hit the ump. Members of the UCF grounds crew have come out. One of them calmly removed.

Yeah, this is wild to me that these people are so calmly. It lands on his shoulder, and he's like, I've been here before. I know how to do it. And then the guy just walks and takes the parrot off. You can't be too squirmy. When they start warming up to you, you don't want to freak out. How would that guy know? If that happened to me, I don't have any...

He would react in some way. I wouldn't know what parrot protocol is. I'd just be like, what the fuck is a bird on my shoulder? Are they that common? Are they that common? Is that a thing? That a parrot will just fly on your shoulder? I don't think so.

That was wild, wasn't shoulder? I don't think. I don't think so, yeah. That was wild, wasn't it? I mean, like the guy, maybe I'm crazy. You ever go into one of those rooms where you like pay five bucks for the bird scene and you get covered and then all the birds are all over you? I love it. Oh, no, I love birds so much.

There's a room for that? What? Everywhere, like almost. You have like little cups of nectar and all these birds just land on you like snow white. Yeah. There was a video store in our hometown and there was a parrot in the video store that would guard the adult section.

So if you tried to go to the adult section, it was by Home Grove Family Video. No one was going there. I was. It would yell and scream if a kid got close to the adult section. Or it would scream out whatever category you're browsing if you got in. This is going better. Oh, God. This has gotten better.

I'll tell you, parrots, man, are fun. I thought the parrot was just calling me mature. Are good birds. Yeah. We were at the dog park today, and the dog park, I've learned, is a very, it's a place where you can see people acting their worst. A lot of people are pretty high strung at the dog park. I don't like being at dog parks. Oh, try going to a playground.

I find them very awkward. It's not dissimilar, I would think. No, it's not. It's probably very similar and and we had our puppy was uh playing with a dog and then a bigger dog tried to join them and started kind of not she's our puppy was playing with a corgi and our puppy's little you know she's 30 pounds 25 pounds and uh and the the bigger dog joined in and started knocking them over and then and biting them and playing too rough. So me and the owner of the Corgi kind of went to just go grab our dogs

and say, okay, let's crank it back a little. And then the owner of the other dog said, you know, you should just let them play. And I said, well, your dog is in a different weight class. Our dog can't really play back. And they were like, well, she's not going to learn how to defend herself. And I'm like, do you think I'm like a Michael Vick apprentice here? CJ Shroud like that. I was mad.

I was mad that this woman was telling me to let our dog get beaten up by her dog. That is a loss for today. And it just ended? I took our dog and I walked away. But I wanted to put her on video and then make a funny video about it. Putting this on the news. Fucking ruin her life. One of my pet peeves with people at dog parks which

is actually it's it's actually not a problem at all it's a me problem because there are a lot of shitty dog owners and there are a lot of things that like they let their dogs do that are problems such as that this this is not that big of a deal but it drives me fucking crazy is when dog owners try to talk to you through their dogs where they're like their dog will come play with your dog and they'll start talking to their dog and they'll be like you're just so excited because you got your cone off aren't you buddy wow and i'm like it sounds like you want me to know that your dog got its cone off yeah absolutely yeah you're like talking to your dogs i'm standing there and you're like

you haven't had this much energy because you've been cooped up because grandma and grandpa came and visited didn't they for christmas and now you've been and I'm like what the fuck like do you are you talking to me are you talking to your dog that happens all the time it drives me absolutely nuts they don't mean anything by it and they're probably decent people but every time that happens to me I do not engage and I just like sit there as the person's talking to their dog waiting for I think I think yeah they live vicariously through their dog and they they have this need to be coddled. So they expect you to do it, their dog, through them. I don't do it.

I don't engage. I just stare at them, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on here. Yeah, I find dog parks to be remarkably awkward, and I really don't like going there because it's like a lot of people just standing around and then the whole thing where like the dogs are playing like francis just talked about and then you like don't know if it's going to escalate and then like that interaction is always super awkward everything about it makes me uncomfortable to be honest with you yeah i hate when i'm on the elevator with dogs i don't know what to do. It's always looking at me. I'll say what's up to it. And then the owner will just look at me.

The dog is so close that I could pet it with ease. Sometimes it even up on my leg. You don't want to? I do, but you can't pet without the owner giving the okay. You can ask for approval. I don't like doing that. I like putting the fist out. Close fist down.

Let them come to you if they want. I also, in elevators, my building has a lot of dog that. I like putting the fist out, closed fist down. Let them come to you if they want. I also, in elevators, my building has a lot of dog owners. I usually just will try to guess the breed, but I usually try to do it, like, wildly wrong. Oh, yeah. Just to, like, see the people's reaction. Because luckily the interaction is going to be very short if I can get out of there. So, like, there was a German Shepherd the other day. I was like, what is that?

What kind of, is that a wiener dog? What is that? Yeah, you've got to go Dalmatian. Is that a wiener dog? Yeah, you gotta go Dalmatian. Is that a wiener dog? It lands, for sure. Today's episode also brought to you by Game Time. That's right, and Francis is about to take over

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Now, you guys got to know that some terms are going to apply. Always. Always terms. We don't know exactly what those are, but they're in parentheses. So, take a look. They got good cup stacking tickets on GameTime. Yeah. Good. Yeah. stacking tickets on game time. Yeah, yeah. Good, yeah.

What cell phone number is this? That's the old call-in number. Oh, the old call-in number. Chase still puts it on there for some reason. That's not game time. You guys all have played in the dozen. Some people have retired. Some people continuing to play.

Did you guys hear what Brandon did? yes is this true? what did he do? I didn't hear this let's do a judge of weird or not I don't know this Dozen was filmed

it's filmed in like StreamYard right? yeah and then edited and put out but as we've all played you know there's a few minutes before the game even is recording where you're yucking it up talking shit.

Just, you know. In yesterday's game, Big Cat noticed that there was a box in the stream yard with the camera off under the name of Alan. And then Big Cat was like, wait a second. Like, who's in here watching? I just want to, you know. And turned the camera on, and it's Brandon. Brandon watches all of the live matches as they're being recorded under a fake name camera off.

Is that a psycho move? He's a psycho. Yeah, a psycho move. That makes him flaunting his MVP jacket so much sadder because he lives for this, which is good for him. I think it's sad specifically because he has kids. Yeah, he's got four kids. Right.

He's got a family at home. It's not a distinct advantage. Well, yeah, it's not that. I think he's sad specifically because he has kids. Yeah, he's got four kids. Right. He's got a family at home. It's not a distinct advantage. Well, yeah, that's not that. I think he just loves it. He loves the spectacle and loves being a part of it. Did I get the big head? I've been noticing that, and I didn't want to call it out because I didn't know if this was technical difficulties.

It's insulting. I'm sitting in the Brandon chair, so I get the big head. Also, I have a massive fucking head. Honestly. I hate that mine isn't that much smaller right now. It makes you look like Brooks Koepka a little bit. Oh, wow. I think it looks cool.

Yeah, that's cool as fuck. I wish human beings actually looked like that. DK mode on Goldeneye. Yes. I think... So Brandon's defense was basically, I'm gaining no advantage. I like watching the dozen, so what's the harm in this? But that is exactly why I find it so psychotic.

Is that like, why not just watch it when it airs? It makes zero sense to do that. It's like a less streamlined version. Well, the fake name, too. Fake name, camera off. That's weird. All of it is fake. That's weird.

If you just want to, like, then why not just say, why doesn't Jeff just every time we go on the show just say, hey, Brandon wanted to watch, and he can't watch later because he's going to be flying when it airs or something, so he wants to watch now. And then Brandon's just on the chat, and he's like, hey, guys, good luck, everybody, and I'll sit here and watch. That's still kind of weird, but at least it's transparent and we know what's going on. And it's not. Brandon's just on the chat, and he's like, hey, guys, good luck, everybody, and I'll sit here and watch. That's still kind of weird, but at least it's transparent and we know what's going on. And it's just a psychopath. Even if he can't watch it live, even if he can't watch it when the episode premieres, it's still going to be on YouTube.

It certainly is. You can even jump ahead, like, okay, I know the answer. It's infinitely more convenient. What's he doing this for? That's the question. I have one theory. One, it's just about power and control. And Brandon's just like...

He does say it's his show. It's his show. And he just feels like he just needs to have his hand in everything. The other is he's doing this so if he gets used as a phone-a-friend, he's Googling the answers he doesn't know, and he will get those. None of us knew that Brandon was watching all the shows. If you called Brandon and he gets the phone-a-friend right,

and then he's going to swing his dick around and be like, I never missed the phone-a-friend question. Oh, yeah. So I'm so much smarter than everybody. I think it's the first one. I think it's just power. I think it's the first one. I think it's just power. I think he's just a psycho. The fact that he was sneaking is just...

Yeah, I think the alias is the weird part. Because if Jeff's letting him do it, it's obviously allowed. There's something fishy going on there. I think he just loves trivia. Those two are in cahoots. It's like a guy that breaks into houses and just sits there. Sits on the couch. Yeah, just sits on the couch.

And you're like, why would you do that? And it's like, because I just want to feel something. Yeah. I just want to feel like I have control over this. You break into a house just to go look through the photo album. Yes. That's Brandon. Yeah.

That's how his brain works. Alan? Why Alan? Yeah. Who's Alan? Has he defended himself? He and Big Cat were going back and forth on Twitter? No, he just said, like he said, I get no advantage from this.

What's the big deal? And I like watching the dozen. I don't get why this is. I think that is it. I think he loves trivia. He's going to just perk up whenever someone even brings up a trivia question. He talks in, like, trivia. I asked Brandon a question yesterday morning

that had the entirety of the office gathered around just taking shots at this trivia question. I think it was the worst year for movies. Can you guys name six of the top ten grossing movies of 2003? I think six of them, or maybe seven. So is this the year that Crash won Best Picture? I can say the number one movie. I'll say the number two movie because it's the only kids movie on it.

Monsters, Inc. Finding Nemo. Oh, that was 2003? That's a bad year for movies. Finding Nemo was a monster. That's number one on this list. Is that the year Geely came out? I don't know, but everything was a monster. That's number one on this list. Is that the year Gilly? Is that the year Gilly came out? I don't know, but everything was a sequel,

and then two of them were sequels in the same franchise. Really weird year for movies. Sequels in the same franchise. DJ, I was on the Wikipedia. Signs? Signs is a great movie. Wait, how could you have two sequels come out the same year? Yeah.

Is that around the year that Anchorman came out? Number one was Lord of the Rings Return of the King. It's coming back in theaters. Yeah, the whole four-hour version. Want to go together? Why are you saying this was a bad year for movies? These are gigantic movies.

Yeah, that's two of how many? How many are they? Yeah, I can't think of any 2003 movies, to be honest. Me neither. I don't think of them by, like, years. When did the first Jackass come out? I would guess 2000?

A little later. Did that crack the top ten? Mystic River? No. It's all sequels. It's all sequels? I don't know. All right, we got Lord of the Rings.

And then Finding Nemo. Matrix Reloaded. I mean, Matrix Reloaded was cool, but not good. You saw the first word of that one. That's good. That's the only other original. Oh, dude, that was gas, too. Great movie.

Love that movie. Big Crash on Johnny Depp for a while. Oh, dude, true. Bad movie. Awesome. Dude dude that's a fun watch what were like the top like critically oh i don't know yeah that's that's a good question i was almighty is uh they they heard that what if god was one of us that was in the movie too right but i feel like someone just heard that song was like what if we just made a movie out of this, bro. Over the self-bat. Yeah. Yeah, that seems like a cocaine idea. The samurai.

I never saw that. Yeah, this is... The Matrix is the one that has... New Matrix sequels. I didn't know. I don't even know what X2 is. It's the second X-Men movie.

Oh. Okay. It was supposed to be the best, I think. Yeah. Of all of them? No, no. First Class was...

When they started going back Oh, yeah. I meant like of the original three. I think Logan was the best of any think. Of all of them? No, first class. When they started going back and forth. I think Logan was the best of any. Logan was tight. Super tight. I have fallen off the Marvel viewing after that last Avengers. They're posting... Twitter's posting...

The one called Endgame, you mean? The one where it's literally called This is the End of the Game? Yeah. It's in the title. I felt like that was a natural stopping point. You can stop watching This is the End of the Game. I haven't watched anything since.

Same. But people are posting on Twitter now, like, how Marvel looks nowadays. And it looks like a B film. Yeah, apparently it's because they are, like out these auxiliary shows at a really high rate. And it's a big issue with the people that work in graphic effects. Just overworking them to the point where they don't even have time to make them high quality. You are correct.

The guy with the big head from the new Ant-Man that everybody's making fun of looks bad. There's some scenes. Benedict Cumberbatch with his third eye as Doctor Strange now looks goofy. There's some scenes in She-Hulk that will take your breath away. That's the lawyer? Yeah. When the first preview for that ran

I thought it was a spoof. I thought it was a big commercial. Is she fighting villains or is she just an attorney? She's just on her period. I've only seen the clips of it. I haven't watched it. These A-list actors in their 40s have to hate doing these movies.

I don't know. Do they have fun with it? Guaranteed paycheck. It's the live golf of movies. Besides the money. The behind-the-scenes shots that come out of Marvel movies are hysterical. It's like a kickball on a broomstick, and they're waving around, and the actors are behind the...

Yeah, having just these giant... A lot of them do have, I think, issues with the green screen, exclusive shooting. I know Ian McKellen had an issue with that with The Hobbit. I guess, yeah, the Marvel movies have gotten so big that they can't just do like small street crimes anymore.

It has to be in space or. Exactly. That's that was one of my problems with them too. Used to. I feel like the early

Marvel movies were like there's this bad guy that wants to to like steal a million dollars or like kill this other guy or something. Yeah. Steal a million dollars.

I want to stop. I need to stop. Man, I have to stop this guy For like You know This little crime That's what I said When I saw Francis'

Contract at Barstool Yeah they definitely Now it's like Fucking like We have to undo time Not gonna forget That you did Not gonna forget that

Not gonna forget that Oh fuck Loki Loki was fire though That's in phase four Loki Loki was fire Dude That looks like shit That's a thing Wait I thought that, though. That's in phase four. Loki. Loki was fire. Dude, that looks like shit.

That's a thing. Wait, I thought that was a joke. That's real? This is a character in the new Ant-Man. Damn, dude. You go to Doctor Strange's third eye that he has now, I guess. Also, it's almost impossible. They killed it so hard in Infinity War and Endgame.

Infinity War is one of my favorite movies ever. It's so good. The special effects in that are truly incredible. I think that they just blew their load, dude. Yeah, that looks bad. Yeah, it does. I didn't mind that movie. That movie was okay. I haven't seen the movie either.

I thought it was good. The third eyeball looks like something Jeffrey Dahmer would have fucked. Yeah. Something he wouldn't have fucked. Did you watch the Dahmer would have fucked. Tell me something he wouldn't have fucked. Did you watch his Dahmer tapes? No. Is that the documentary?

I didn't watch the show. I watched the tapes. I have not, no. Pretty interesting. You know that he would create orify. I don't know if that's the plural of orifices. Oh, no. I hate that. In that's the plural of orifices. Oh, no. I hate that.

In the body and using the hoses. At least he knew he was fucked up. Yeah. Like in the end, he was like, yeah, I'm pretty. Yeah, that's a huge mark in his favor. I mean, compared to other dudes. You deserve. All right.

There are the pros. That one was on me. My bad. Oh, no. He's self-aware. Everybody right, there are the pros. That one was on me. My bad. Oh, no, he's self-aware. Everybody go around in a circle. Say something nice about Dahmer. I mean, come on. I hate when people say that about, like, actual douchebags. They're like, yeah, but he's self-aware.

All right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, come on. Yeah, but compared to his mother. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was no Ed Kemper. Yeah. But, I mean, like, dude, I mean, like, the wackest thing, well, not the wackest thing, but one of the lamest things about Ted Bundy is at the end, he was no Ed Kemper. But, I mean, like, dude, I mean, like, the wackest thing, well, not the wackest thing,

but one of the lamest things about Ted Bundy is at the end, he was like, he was just like, yeah, dude, porn did this. Like, this is porn's fault. Like, that's so fucking lame, dude. Yeah. Like, try to save your own life by blaming porn. I bet you that won some people over. 100%.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mark, you're going to move to Chicago to chicago moving to chicago and um are you how disappointed are you that you got hired to work here and then you're gonna move to chicago so shortly i i'm excited for it that's his home base that's where you're from from indiana yeah which is a suburb of chicago the whole state is a suburb of Chicago. Indiana was the birthplace of the Klan. Yeah, I'm aware. You know about that?

Yeah, I'm aware. We, yeah, I believe like the big, the way I was told when I was growing up was Martinsville, Indiana was like kind of the Klan hotspot, which is where John Wooden is from. So like I think Martinsville has tried to distance themselves from the clan in recent years recently i think this started in like 2016 i think they started a little late people but inventing basketball does john wooden is from there yeah so um there's a documentary for you like john wooden cd pass growing up in martinsville indiana was he uh see actually i don't know, investigative? We had a senator for a very long time. Everything's named after him in the state

that was just hooded. Wow. Robert C. Bird. Yeah. I'm excited. I actually kind of hate New York. I'm just here for the NCAA tournament. I'm going to be here for the next one. Do you follow all of the conference tournaments? Not like really the little ones as much. I follow it. I watch

the championship games and stuff, but yeah. and stuff, but I don't pretend to. There was a very interesting article about how certain star college basketball players are spending their NIL money. And, for example, at UNC, the big guy. Armando Baycott, yeah. Baycott has bought a really nice Audi for himself. Yes. And it doesn't sound like it's money that they can buy houses with, maybe. Yeah, most guys probably not.

Well, I think if I buy fun toys. Fun toys. And that kind of feels like a decent middle ground to me. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it at all it's definitely changed the dynamic of college sports because uh when i was at ohio state greg odin was about to be the number one pick in the draft and he had to like bum a ride from people because he couldn't afford a car and like was you know and and that made like for an interesting camaraderie of the team to have a guy that's about to be worth millions of dollars, but right now he's not.

So I would be fascinated to redo that year at Ohio State, and Greg's driving a Lambo to practice. The eighth man on the team has his hand-me-down car from his older brother. I don't know what that has done to the lot. North Carolina also sucks this year, so I wonder if that is playing into it. Can I offer you a content idea? What's that? I was thinking it would be really cool to do sort of almost like an MTV Cribs,

but for student athletes that have made NIL. NIL money. See how they're spending it. Yeah. I would watch every second of something like that. I think that would be cool. Yeah. How teenagers would spend their millions of dollars.

Yeah. That would be interesting. We teenagers would spend their millions of dollars. We ask them how they're investing at the end and they're just like, what the fuck is investing? I don't have a savings account. Remember the Complex Sneaker Show? Sneaker shopping. Is that it? Sneaker shopping. Sort of like a combo of that with MTV Cribs

but for college NIL. If you had been around in the NIL era, do you think you would have gotten any money? Yeah, my senior year I would have. Yeah, I started my website when I was still on the team, and we sold a bunch of shirts and I couldn't take any of the money, and I had to give it all to charity. And it was like- Ew. I think it ended up being like 60 grand on the year.

Oh my God. That's a nice- Wow. He did this too. He was selling stuff in college donnie not in college are you he was selling so when he lived at a jersey shirt 20s yes yes suzy's half suit half jersey all class uh that's when i was like 28 29 years old i called yeah i moved down to clemson for a year to help get that business off the ground.

It was probably the worst year of my life. And then didn't Clemson sue you for stealing their logo? No, no, no. I actually got the licensing for Clemson. That was expensive? No, it wasn't that bad, but the application process was a pain in the ass. Oh, man. But, yeah, moving to Clemson, South Carolina when you're 29 is not a great age

because you're too old to be hanging out with the college kids because you're just like that older creepy guy, and then all the people your age are just like full-on rednecks. Like my roommate would wake me up in the night and be like, have I showed you my gun? And like, wake me up in the night and be like, have I showed you my gun? And just, like, show me how it works. Power would go out in our house, and I would run out and be like, what happened?

He was like, oh, sorry, I was coming home from the bar drunk and just drove into a telephone pole. So now the electricity's out in our entire neighborhood. Don't open the garage door, because the cops will be looking for that car. Oh, my God. I was like, what am I doing here? Coming home from the bar. We saw this gay kid in the road and we told him,

tell anyone. When Pat was at JMU, my, the beef, my Pat, he did a sexy lady calendar. He had his own website called jmaddy.com. And it was all about like the sexy girls of JMU.

And he also, yeah, he, um, he also sold like shot glass necklaces that he thought was like his own innovation or something like that but like but they made like a good amount of money off it was like like drinking t-shirts sexy lady calendars and shot glass necklaces but he made i mean at a school like jmu they did like really well for a while titus were you cashing Spotify checks for Mr. Rainmaker?

No, I wasn't. I should have been. Yeah, that's great. I felt like that song was a song that nobody, I mean, most people still haven't even heard it, but I remember when my video, I made like a spoof. I made like a trick shot video set to Warrant. Warrant had this song on the B side of cherry pie that was called mr rainmaker and it's a i made a video when i was in college

with me like just making a bunch of shots um and when it got more views than the the official music video that's the first time i ever felt like i was somebody you should have been like the official music video had like 20 000 views or something views or something. If that ever happens, you should, yeah, you should get credit. So I felt like at that point I was like, I should almost, like, cease and desist their music video and be like, your music video sucks ass. Like, let me, you know, replace it as the official music video. Did you feel, like, bitter about that stuff? Like, about, like, having to give all the money to charity and blah, blah, blah?

Yeah, because the fucked up part was I wasn't on scholarship either. So, like, the whole reason these, like, like like the whole argument of like should college athletes get paid was like the opposing side said they do get paid with scholarships this is like how they're getting paid so i had to pay my own way but then also i couldn't keep the money and i i don't know it worked out for me if i wasn't on the team i wouldn't be sitting here today so like it all it all worked out but yeah it was but then, I was giving all the money to this great charity called A Kid Again that I love that is operating in Indiana and Ohio. And they're doing great stuff. They still exist.

They're awesome. What do they do? It's called A Kid Again. Yeah, it's for, like – it's like Make-A-Wish, but instead of one big thing, they do, like, a bunch of little things for, like, group – for sick kids that are, you know. By the way, quick corollary i always thought with make a wish that if the kid ended up beating the disease that granted him the opportunity to meet his hero then he should have to go back and face that hero and have that hero like yell at them you wasted my fucking time that's the return should yeah that should be yeah they do They do derank you if you get better

before you get your reward. I had a friend that was supposed to do the Yankees experience and then he beat the leukemia and they were like, alright, here's a mall shopping spree. Wait, they tear the Make-A-Wish? Yeah, based off of need, urgency. So if they're doing something

awesome, it's sad. So this charity instead of like i want to meet lebron james it's instead of like one kid meeting lebron james it's like what if we took like a hundred kids to a calves preseason game so it's like a lot less exciting for the one kid but like for the whole group they all get to go together and it's like you know and then you see a kid who's also in a wheelchair and you don't feel like so bad about yourself they're doing anything get the bond over there. Yeah.

Impending death. I gave all my money to them. So then I got put in a position where I can't. I'm not going to be like, fuck these kids. Give me my money back. Sounded like you needed a lot of community service hours. Yeah, it kind of was. And I guess that leads us to ask, what did you do?

Yeah, interesting. So what was the final verdict with this episode, this lost episode that was aired? I thought you meant the one that we're on right now. I thought so too. Oh, no, your mean girl episode. I was so glad you had finally gotten on board with checking in. No.

The old mid-episode check-in. No, no. before we get into that we're gonna be so mad about that can i ask kate something sure so pat who you brought up yeah uh one was on twitter the other day oh no and he uh tweeted a set or like of a comedian i liked oh i didn't physically natalie cuomo and he said something like uh i i appreciate people that get up on stage and tell jokes i know the challenge of that yeah but what is this it's not you know i don't get it what am i missing here or something yeah yeah yeah inferring that she was having a very bad set yeah and then natalie's fiance a guy i know dan lamorte yeah messaged pat a long

message and said hey what's your issue why would you do that yeah you know uh why would you come after my fiance and then pat took a screenshot that message and then said it and was like oh this is soft and um i don't know why you wouldn't be able to take criticism or something like that. I'll be completely honest. I had no idea. I don't follow what the beef does on social media for the most part. I thought it was all— Wild man.

I liked it. It was very chaotic and my kind of thing. Yeah. So what—does he—did he just single her out, or does he not like bad comedy in general? I think what he saw was the video because he's doing that to a lot of people no this i think that he saw that the set was went like crazy on whatever it was i think he saw viral and why i didn't understand what i remember he came in and was like he came in and was like look at this but i didn't know he did anything else

with it besides just feel like uh but it was it was one of those, you know, comedians are all doing those viral clips right now. Yeah. Where, like, whatever. And this clip had, like, tons and tons of likes and comments or whatever. I watched it and I was like, yeah, it's not that funny. But it does have a ton of likes. I didn't feel any kind of way about it. But I guess it made him nuts.

Like, seeing all these clips that aren't, like, amazing, like, crushing kind of. I have no idea. I don't know like amazing like crushing kind of I have no idea I didn't know that it had gone really well and had been really positively received I thought it was just a random thing she had posted on her own account and he was like no no I guess

they got on a Facebook page or something went crazy oh yeah is there a way we can't tame the bee. I haven't seen it. Has everyone seen it? I would have kind of liked to see it. The clip that he was like, ah. Yeah, by all means.

I think it was on her Instagram or something. I remember him showing me, but I never thought twice about it. It was on Pat's Twitter. Titus, Kate's boyfriend and father of her child. He goes by the beeve titty emoji. There's a bee beef titty emoji. He's got a... There's a beef titty emoji? No, no. He calls himself the beef

and then he makes titties out of parentheses. Oh, nice. Hell yeah, dude. Oh, he's not the beef anymore. He just does his own thing and I just kind of let him fly by the seat.

That's it right there. Oh, I like this girl. Yeah, I'm sure she's super funny. I don't think he knows her. My mom goes to bed at eight. I do live in my mom's basement. It is hard to date when you live in your mom's basement. Like, if I go on a date with a guy and it's going well,

I'll be like, hey, you want to come over? My mom goes to bed at 8. I was hanging out with this guy recently. We're getting to know each other, and he's like, where do you see yourself in the next few years? I'm like i don't know maybe i'll be upstairs finally it's easier to laugh in the setting of a comedy club i'm i'm a fan yeah pat felt angry about that for some reason that it had so many like i guess it was more of an overarching thing about comedy clips than her i don't know i didn't know i would 100 i didn't know he did that i'm a sympathetic laugher like yeah so am i and i think anyone who gets up there

i'm sure she's amazing and uh yeah i'm very much he's very successful what are you doing pat i didn't know he did that i'm not attacking pat i just wanted to hear about it i'll attack pat beef it was a fucking beef man you have by the way dj do you have dan's response and then he he uh he tweeted the guy's dm that's yeah this is it oh here i'll read it ages and multiple people tag my fiance in your posts i know you think it's fun to publicly shit on a female comic, but it's really not that kind. They see it. What's the point?

I get being upset that she has a bigger audience, but it doesn't mean you should use what little following you have to direct hate her way. You have a child. Why not in a way that would make them proud? I think our son would be okay with it. I think he doesn't care. I don't think Pat was going because she's a woman. I don't think that with it. Yeah, let's not. I think he doesn't care. I don't think Pat was going because she's a woman.

I don't think that's it. I think he was just like, this isn't very funny. Why does it have so many likes? That particular clip, I'm sure it's funny. I'm not saying it's not. I didn't think so.

Yeah, no, I didn't think it was funny. Yeah. Sometimes when you're sending out a tweet, you're like, okay, this is going to make a hundred people laugh, but one person feel really bad.

Is the tradeoff worth it? And a lot of times it is. A lot of times I would rather make 100 people laugh, but sometimes you don't want to make that one person upset. Doing comedy is not worth it. You did it. How did it go? I don't know. He crushed it.

Come on. I heard you were fantastic. It was very funny. It was okay. Julio told me in confidence that you were great. He was very funny. It was okay, yeah. Julio told me in confidence that you were great. He was very funny. It was very funny. It's no surprise at all.

No doubt. Is anybody surprised that Nick would be excellent at stand-up? Tardy Titus is surprised. I'm certainly not surprised. You were surprised over there. He was. Me? Not surprised.

I saw you go like this. You went, oh. No kidding, this guy. Raised your eyebrows. Pat tweeted about your set and said it was garbage. Yeah, I know. You're a real piece of... I know.

Your girlfriend messaged him. Not cool to go after a real comedy. Did you feel the itch after you got off stage to now go on a bunch of podcasts and talk about stand-up comedy? Not at all. What's the road like? I don't have... As soon as Sass did it once, he had five shows the next week. Doing open mics. I don't have like, as soon as Sass did it once, he had like five shows the next week.

Like doing open mics. I don't have the itch. You care about knives, dude. I want knives. I want 200 knives and that's it, man. Which is a much cooler pursuit. Yeah. I had to take the knives off my desk.

Somebody complained. Won't say who. Someone at the office complained? Oh, yeah. I heard that. Yeah. Complained at the office. They said I heard that yeah complained at the office they said it was unsafe

they said I thought it was a joke but then I wasn't sure and then I don't think they were joking and now I just have a bunch of it's kind of inconvenient

to have all my knives at home right yeah I have like 50 now oh my shout out shout out this guy of Milo

is it Milo the Knife Man? He just sent me a Post-it with like 80 knives that he made, and he just said, stay sharp. Oh, that's dope. Not to get super Freud on you, but do you think your urge to collect knives stemmed from that guy threatening to stab you in Southern Illinois? You know what?

Nothing would have changed if I had a knife on me myself, and I wouldn't ever pull a knife on somebody. It just started off as an anus thing, and I was just like, if you really are a fan of the pod, send me a knife. Do you have any plan on using these knives in any way? No. No, I think it's just tough to get to 200.

Yeah, very tough. It'd be really cool if a wall of your place was just all of them hung up. Yeah. I mean, it would creep out chicks on a first date. Yeah. I think it would creep out anybody at any moment. Yes. Yeah.

You've got to be wary of earthquakes. The fellas that come over to watch the game, they would be creeped out. Matt versus Kyle's litter box with no cat. Yeah, what's weirder? You know people are going to think you shit in that. I think it's the litter box. What's weirder? 200 knives on a wall or a litter box with no cat?

I mean, yeah, that is weird. I think showing off the knives makes it less weird. If every drawer in my house was filled to the brim and like they noticed hoping your medicine cabinet like organically like oh wrong drawer oh fuck like that's when you get weirded out fork or like a spoon or anything and it's just all knives all knives you don't need to have forks or spoons if you're really good with a knife damn right yeah i'm always worried if i'm if i'm like eating food off though, I'm going to cut my tongue. What about soup? I don't think I have the skills. Cheerios?

Yeah, you would need a spoon for Cheerios. No. You could do it with a knife. It would just take hours. What if you want some milk with your Cheerios? I think you just pick up the bowl. Yeah, biking. Ah, yeah.

Pull it. I will eventually be eating an apple with a knife. I'll probably be leaning in a door frame. That's cool. I like that. It's cool as hell. I like the guys who just buy a big block of prosciutto and then just slice it off.

Yep, Borelli does that. Frankie Borelli does that. He's retaining a lot of water. I saw that next to a Dave podcast clip yesterday. That's the prosciutto shaving. Oh, yeah? Damn right. It's our thing. How's that Oh, yeah. That's yeah. Damn right. It's our thing.

Is that weird? Why? Who's she to you? She's an A-list right now. Oh, get out of here. I think Addison Rae can get into any

side of you guys watching that you want. Right. Right. Yeah. She went to the fucking Met Gala. Who goes to the Met Gala?

A-list fucking people go to the Met Gala. If you go to the Met Gala, you are a loser. I would go to the Met Gala? A-list fucking people go to the Met Gala. Dude, if you go to the Met Gala, you are a loser. I would go to the Met Gala so fast it would make your fucking heads spin. Why, Dave? You don't need their approval. I want to walk. I want people.

A beer can ham. It's the Met. It's a museum. I like that it's not yellow. It's free every other day. What level celebrity? I like that they're getting rid of all the- What is the conceit there?

What is the correlation between those two? It's just like- It's a TikTok thing. People can't stay focused long enough on a podcast clip. There has to be some sort of kinetic sand or app. Maze Runner. Minecraft. I do not understand TikTok.

I don't... Yeah, I think that just goes... I think that's human psychology. It works. It works. Yeah. When you guys started to add it in did you see the uh the views go up we did it making engagement go up we posted like the game like the fun run or

whatever temple run going on when kyle was going on a rant about how tiktoks have to have this it's like a little meta joke and then it did better and so we just do it works i do i i find it it does capture me whenever I see it. It works because then you're engaging two parts of the brain, which is nice. The viewer wants to be held hostage. I don't. I actually, because I like listening to you guys and I like watching you guys, and then the thing annoys me.

I think you guys are pretty pure. Thanks, man. Thank you. Thank you. Can we spin the wheel before? Oh, look at that. Thanks, man. Thank you. Thank you. I want to keep doing it. We've been the whale before. Oh, look at that. Oh, litter box and a cat.

Yeah, if I never end up getting a cat or wait a while, yes. Is it a hundred percent certainty you're getting a cat? Well, this is supposed to like, yeah, now I'm going to get one because I've been putting it off for a while. I mean, you like still don't have Wi-Fi in your apartment. Well, the cab is... I don't know if you're going to get motivated to get... What was the name we decided?

Taylor LeJuan, I think, chose the name, right? No, we didn't decide. Okay. We all were drinking high noons today. They were delicious. You asked me for another. Guess what? Box is empty.

I know. I've been wanting to go get more, but I didn't want to be that guy. Want mine, Rudy? Sure. I-Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. It's actually made with vodka, not with malt like the other hard seltzers. Or tequila. Yeah, yeah. This is the new ones.

Which are phenomenal. I like the strawberry of those. They now have big cans. How many milliliters are the big cans, Francis? 40. 40? 700 milliliters. Oh. You were thinking of the small cans.

I don't know. Tiny cans. I was thinking of the whole cans. Of peach and pineapple are now available. My favorite flavor of the original High Noons, grapefruit. My favorite flavor of the tequila. Strawberries. Strawberries.

It's very good. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. High Noon full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, and lemon. Limited edition flavors. Any guesses? Anybody besides Francis guessing? Wada. No.

Oh, wait. Yeah, you're right. Blackberry? Guava. No. Oh, wait. Yeah, you're right. Blackberry? No. Blackberry? No, no. Elderberry. Hair cranberry.

Acai? Hair and cranberry in the tailgate pack and kiwi and guava in the pool pack. Wow. Damn, good guess. Look for them at Drizzly or your local convenience or liquor store. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. High Noon. Ugh, love it.

It's taking over. I'm so delirious right now. Why? I didn't go to bed last night, really. Me neither. I had a dream I got in a bus crash, woke up, got some water, went back to bed, closed my eyes, lost crash. Two for two.

At least it wasn't a plane crash. Yeah, you're right. You're starting to get over your fear, I think. I think I am getting over my fear of flying. Do you still arrive like four hours early? I will do that until the day I die, probably in a plane crash. But for the first time ever, I'm going home for a wedding. I bought a plane ticket instead of a train ticket an 8 hour train

versus a 35 minute flight I finally did it I believe I'm heading to the part of the world with the worst air flight record like they have the most crashes where? Nepal oh yeah have you seen that runway in Nepal?

You're going to Kathmandu? Oh, it's horrifying. Going to Kathmandu? That's fucking sick, dude. So I haven't bought the tickets yet, but I think I'm going to Everest Base Camp with Akon. What? With Akon.

With Akon. Singer. You should have edited it there. I'm going with Akon. With Akon. Singer. You should have edited it there. I'm going with Akon. I'm going to Everest Base Camp with Akon. That sounds like the plot to an Avicii song. More content? More content, yes.

It's a very long story. I'm not really sure why Akon's going. I think he's going to be filming a music video at base camp. But I met a guy who works for SpaceX, and he was going with this famous hiker, Nims. I don't know. He's like, oh, I know. I follow him.

Yeah, Nims. And then I think they got Akon to, like, fund the expedition. They're also going with a guy who's going to be, like, the first Native American to climb Mount Everest. And he was like, if you want to tag along and wow document it you're welcome to join holy shit um i won't be climbing everest uh the plan would just be to join them for a week like meet and catman do then head to base camp that hike into base camp is long though yeah it's like seven to eight days high on honey it's it's super high what you get high on honey? It's super high. What? You get high on honey? Yeah, they have hallucinogenic honey.

Pot grows wild in that area, too. And you stay in the Sherpa villages on the way up, and then you'll take a helicopter from base camp back to Kathmandu? Yeah, that's the plan. Yeah, we'll see. I'm a little— Yeah, you're right. I actually pitched this as an idea when I used—the first time I worked at Barstool. Yeah, I'll see. I'm a little. Yeah, you're right. I actually pitched this as an idea when I used the first time I worked at Barstool.

Yeah, I'm with you. To climb Everest? Or to go to the base camp and potentially do like a comedy show for all the hikers about to go up. That's a good idea. If we can find a sponsor, you know, maybe some more people can join. It'd be really cool. I thought it sounded like an awesome idea, but it was impressed upon me that the hike into base camp is much more challenging than you might actually think.

Yeah, I'm a little concerned about that because the three other people I'll be with have a lot of hiking experience, and I don't think I'll be able to keep up. I think you'll be fine. Well, it is. Base camp itself, I think, is at 14,000 feet. Yeah.

So it's pretty. Up there. Feels like a little bit of a misnomer to say, like, this is like the base camp. We're 14. It's really cool. I've always, I want to go to Nepal before I, I would love to do that. That's a very. You said, yeah, Kathmandu is a very nice and affordable vacation spot.

Really? Mm-hmm. That runway. You have to go straight up as soon as you take off, right? Yeah, I think they have the most plane crashes of any country. Their planes also look like they're made of wood. Yeah, but there was a horrific plane crash a few months ago, so I think that actually works in my favor.

The clock resets. I think the runway has a weird pitch on it, too. It's at a slight angle, which makes it even more difficult on top of the fact that it's like... Do we have a video, TJ? No. It's very short, too. Don't do that. It curves a little bit, and so it's kind of hard to get off.

A lot of people like the little curve. Creating orifices. I don't know if you can talk about that and show plane crash. Well, there was a video of a guy live streaming. No, this is the one I saw. That plane is nothing bad is happening. He's live streaming. Those planes.

Look at the pitch. Look at the pitch of it, bro. He's doing like a Facebook live stream in the plane. Oh, and then it crashed. Yeah, that was horrific. No, we're not. Dude, I didn't know that. Is that the airport you'd be going to?

I believe so. Jesus Christ. They're not going to have Akon fly in to something real sketchy, maybe, are they? I don't know. I mean, I'm still confused why he agreed to come on board, but it's awesome. I'd love to have him. He's starting his own city, Akon City, right? He's flying in with Akon?

Yeah. Or he's meeting him there He's starting his own city, Akon City, right? You're flying in with Akon? Yeah. Or you're meeting him there. The new barstool HQ. I kind of wonder if 20-year-olds even know who he is. I mean, when I was in college, he was enormous. That song, So Paid, with Lil Wayne and Young Jeezy. That was a banger. Damn, that's a sad bitch.

Fucked up. They probably don't. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I tried so hard or something like that. Oh, yeah. a sad bitch. You 20-year-olds don't know who that is. They probably don't. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I tried so hard or something like that. Oh, yeah. He got rules. Now he's saving the world. Yeah.

He's trying to. He's got his own currency. He's provided a lot of electricity to Africa. I know that. What do you guys think about the cities that they're building? I think in the United Arab Emirates, the mile long. I think Kate was talking about it. They're doing a giant cube,

a giant city within a cube, and then they're doing that. It's not just a mile long. It's like 50 miles long. This city, it's like really skinny and long. I know it's... People were shitting on it. It might only be like a mile or two long, but it's large enough to where 9 million people can live there. Fuck that. I don't know, dude.

People were shitting on it. I think it's cool. It's pretty green, right? One New York block is the equivalent of one rural home when it comes to energy output, right? I think, too, nothing infuriates me more than

urban sprawl. Can you just call it sprawl? You don't have to bring up the YouTube video of it. What about race? They have a cool YouTube video about it. Cube City? No, search the line. The line.

Saudi Arabia. It seems wildly unattainable. Yeah. Apparently, they're starting the construction. Yeah. A lot of people were shocked when they actually started building the foundation. They were like, we thought this was all a joke. I just sort of like people just going for it.

Yeah, 9 million people. Robot maids, artificial moon. Who are the 9 million people that are planning on moving there? They have one short vid that's kind of just like a promo for it. Yeah, like the visual of it is very interesting. Yeah, this is just a guy who's talking about it. Yeah, maybe that. A line?

Yeah. Did you guys, speaking of Saudi Arabia, you know the murder of Jamal Khashoggi? Yeah. Oh, how could we forget? So that, you know, they've gotten away with it. Right. Yeah.

Nobody's going to do anything. No. Right. You're going to do something about it. No. Is that your next video? Oh, I wouldn't. Coming out next Wednesday at BristolSports.com.

I mean, it's like, you know, I think if a country gets away with murder on that level, with that visibility, then you can travel. You don't speak out against them anymore. Well, it's sad. Pulled it off. They've done some other do's. Very sad.

I think around that time we even like gave them more money or more military equipment. I don't know. I think I like this. It's so cool to me. Now say if they were like, we need some social media influencers to move in for a year. Would you be willing? Bryce Hall.

I'm not. I don't think I've ever influenced anybody. Yeah. No. I think you. Oh, yeah. He's the put on print. Maybe he's the put on print.

He could go. We're going to chicken fry. She could go. Yes. Yeah. I mean, would you take. Actually, he could go. We're going to chicken fry. She could go. Yes. Yeah. I mean, would you take... Actually, I guess you don't need a lot of money, but I was just... Josh Richards.

Yeah, I was saying if Saudi Arabia offered you a million dollars to kind of live there and promote it for a year... Are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah, absolutely. Of course I would. Yes. You would? Why wouldn't I?

I thought you might be the one person in this room who wouldn't because you're like, I don't really need a ton of money. Oh, I would. I'll take the moral high ground. I need a ton of money. Okay, all right. I'll be the guy that won't do it just because it's an easy way to just get good internet points. To be like me?

No, would never. I would never. Make that statement now. I would never. I would never take I would never. Make that statement now. I would never. I would never take their dirty money. Flemer said he wouldn't be on the live tour with his golfing skills now to be the laughingstock, I guess, lose every game for $500,000 a year. He would not?

Yeah. He wouldn't do it. That's asinine i don't i yeah at a certain point having when you when you phrase it as like be the laughing stock well nobody's going to expect him to do well but just like every every time you arrive at the golf course everyone's pointing and laughing i would watch more golf if they had one that's a hard life that's a hard life to like i was just doesn't hurt anybody. If there's one just abysmal golfer, I would tune in way more. And then just tune into him and he's like plus 88. Yeah.

Yes. That would be awesome. That movie about the guy who snuck into the British Open every year was really good. I have no idea that was a thing. Is this one? Yes. Mark Rylance plays the guy. Oh, okay.

It's a really awesome movie. Really enjoyable. Is that how we save the NBA All-Star game? Is just pull a guy off the street and let him play against all the others? That's like a team sport. I think golf, it would just be like he's not hurting anybody else, but this is getting more viewers. I volunteer to be the guy.

I've never golfed in my life. I'll do it. That would be awesome. Get a golden retriever to do it. There's no rule that says. Those movies. Bud movies. There's no way a golden retriever to do it. There's no rule that says dog can't play basketball. There's no way a golden retriever could play golf.

I mean, it kind of makes sense that he could play basketball. That's what they said about it. This is the first line of every one of the movies. That's what they said about it. Are you pitching us right now? Yeah. Golden receiver. The original deflate gate was golden receiver.

Like, how did a dog catch a fully inflated football in his mouth? They had to deflate it enough that he could catch it with his mouth. But you won't hear the mainstream media talk about that. The best sport a dog could play. Frisbee. Ultimate Frisbee. Ultimate Frisbee. Soccer.

Be good with headers. I think baseball what outfielder think about it none of these sports you said a dog couldn't do any part well you're a cat person you bitch

a dog could hit a header in I would say maybe rugby or a dog would be a goalie you like cats i do rugby i'm not taking it what happened what was the consensus with your episodes i don't know how to play what was the what was the girl thing what i i still don't really know so once it came i didn't watch it what I appreciate your clarifying question because that was the one that mattered. Jordan came in and you said, was he dark or real?

So what do people think? I wasn't dark at all. I guess people think, what do they think about why they held it? What are people saying? I think people are confused about why they didn't air it something no yeah no controversy there wasn't any it was your answers were too i didn't say anything stupid i didn't say anything dark or i didn't i wasn't i wasn't being risky that's what people thought and then they changed their answer and said i was patronizing and then i was like no i wasn't

they were like okay well you weren't but then you were boring i was like, no, I wasn't. And they were like, okay, well, you weren't, but then you were boring. And I was like, well, then give me the fucking tape and let me hear it. What'd you think? I didn't think I was boring, but, you know, what do I know? I can't judge myself. It's a really good pod... I said it yesterday, podcast loophole.

Just tell you, so you have somewhere to be, too. We're just... I gotta go to a lunch. Go to a lunch. What? Go to a lunch. With whom? John Rothstein, actually.

Oh. People might know who that is. He's a Sharpie guy. The college basketball Twitter guy that just is a robot. You are plugged in. You sure you want to go to Chicago?

Me and John are meeting on the Upper East Side to hash out the bubble right now. Who's in, who's out. What type of food? I don't know. Here, let me pull it up. Imagine if they were having bubble tea. Yeah, that would be cool.

That's what you should call the episode. What's this place called? Are you a fan of bubble tea, Francis? Not really. I don't like how those globules go down your throat. I'm a fan of the globules. It says American restaurant, so I don't think that's exactly helpful.

That's a Lenny Kravitz song. That's a Mad Libs clue. All right, you guys continue. I'm going to bow out. Thank you, Titus. Have a nice day. Should we do the wheel really quick before? What's the rush?

I don't know. You're right. You're right. There's no rush. This is going so great now. It is. It's smooth. It's smooth rush? I don't know. You're right. You're right. There's no rush. This is going so great now. It is. It's smooth. It's smoothing out.

We've picked it up. Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, I guess we have. I used to be obsessed with Mad Libs as a kid. Oh, same. I would just answer poop or fart. Fart, poop, fart, poop,

stinky poop, fart. Oh, that was so fun. I liked them. Poop stain. Whenever they were on like a kid's menu, that was so fun. I liked them. Poop stain. Whenever they were on a kid's menu, that's when I liked them the most. When you went to Outback. Yeah.

Are they going to go out of business, you think? Do you think young kids these days would enjoy playing Mad Libs when they have all this technology? Mad Libs, I think it's probably an app now, but I don't think it's... No, dude. Right now, the new Mad libs is you just get joe biden and trump into a cod lobby and get an ai to yeah the voices that's like mad libs or you go on to chat gpt and you're like

write me a wacky story yeah and like uses the words poop and fart i try to get them to write jokes and uh they refuse they refused can we see ChatGPT would answer some of the mean girl questions that they asked Francis? We'll see if it did better or worse. See whose intelligence is more artificial. I'm going to get a soda. Anyone want one? Have you guys spoken at all about the thing that you got? No.

Okay. It was approved two days ago yeah yeah yeah i mean i hope i hope acon doesn't bail out after me uh already saying i'm going with them that'd be a letdown but no it seems like a pretty sure thing but you know acon oh no we're talking about the thing yeah yeah yeah but I was just saying in relation to like talking about future plans I was with Nick on that though

it didn't seem to me like you knew what we were all talking about no I did but I was saying that's like this is actually what we'll be doing in June is actually set in stone I haven't bought the flights to Kathmandu yet

but it's all signs point to it happening that's cool what song has flights to Kathmandu yet, but all signs point to it happening. That's cool. What song sings about Kathmandu? Is it the Billy Joel one? What? There's a song lyric. He didn't start the fire. I think it is.

I think it's a country song. Yeah, it might be. It is in a song. What's a song that has the... Good-a-ba-da-ba-da-ba-dee-ba-hoo-a-ba-da-da-cat-man-doo. Where'd you come from? Where'd you go? Are you guys fans of...

How much Xanax did you have before this episode today? You know what it was? Yeah, I do. I tried a new type of edible last night. Is it sticking with you? It's not. Oh. Gone. Obscene. Obs with you? It's not gone.

Obscene. I'm not high, but I'm fucking whacked. I've had that. It's affected me for 24 hours. It's super whacked out from me. I apologize. I'm doing this on an empty stomach because I wanted to go get falafel when I was just talking into the ether.

It was 11.30 this morning. I said, is it too early for falafel? I just heard, yes, Nick. And I just sat down. I thought you were talking to me. Uh-uh. Because the only other people that were there were Duggs and John Rich. I wasn't expecting Duggs to say no.

John Rich eats, as far as I can tell, like nails and screws. Yeah. And Duggs is, you know, mayor of the town that that train blew up in. Every new picture that guy has come out, I love him more. Oh, man. Oh, my God. He looks like such a quintessential Trent. Yes, Trent R. Conaway.

Jay, can you Google him? I just want to take a look. What was your guys' post about him on Enos? I all said his shirt could house a Dominican family or something. I could have watched that. I did. Oh, man. He's a unit.

And now there's a mayor that's a pedophile. Yeah. Maryland. There's more than one. What? I'm sure there's more than one. Yeah, I know. You got a big charge.

That's tough. Do you guys know they have dogs that, like, help the cops find kiddie porn? They can sniff out hidden hard drives and stuff, and they've used them a lot. Hard drives? Yeah, like files. They can sniff out an electronic hard drive. If they think some dude's a pedophile, they can bring in the kiddie porn dogs. Is that what they're using?

They're still just using hard drives? I think so. They'll find their stash of kiddie porn? I believe Europe, maybe Germany, they have an anonymous therapy for people that feel themselves becoming more and more attracted to children and they promise they'll never call the police.

I was reading that when I was trying to write jokes for news, but I didn't know how to make a joke about it. So it's an amnesty policy? Yeah, but it's just like guys admitting and they're like, okay, I need help. They did that here, right? They're like, if you think you're feeling it, we'll give you Super Bowl tickets. Yeah, that's what it is. Come over here.

That's a weird, moral blurry area. How do you do it? Like, okay, we had 900 people sign up and we can't do, like, odd. It's the type of thing though. Like don't talk. Don't make anything of it.

Conversion therapy has been proven to not work when it comes to like making someone not gay though. So like do they think it's going to work on pedophiles? That's because it's been, you know, the medicine they're using are Bible verses. That and electricity. Right. Prescribed electricity in Psalms. One group does need fixing. The other group doesn't.

Yeah. Should we play a game or something? Like that? Yeah. Is there some kind of thing we can play? Yeah. Wait, there's a new kind of family feud. It looks better.

TJ, have you seen those TikToks? Is it called like dog something? I have not seen those TikToks. Shit. Send me a chat saying what it is. Have you seen those old YouTube videos that somebody unearthed? It was filmed on like a VHS. You could tell like over shoulder camera.

And it's this guy. He would have yard sales. And he would paint himself all gold and you would have to go up to him and ask for the price and in a big booming voice he would say a price that's just way too high it's the funniest concept ever let me see this

what would it be under they would go up to like how much is this lampshade and he would just have his eyes closed he'd be all gold and he'd just be like, $8,000. The fact that it's never...

He should be world famous. Sounds like a movie Shaquille O'Neal was in. Yes. I think you're thinking Sinbad. Is that what he was in? Mandela Effect. Was he not in Shazam? Yeah. That was never a movie you're thinking kazam

with sinbad uh wait no kazam shack was in you're thinking shazam with sinbad what's and what was shack in so he would he's he's been in more than one movie kazam never been It was Kazam, and then he was also in Steel. Wait, let's see if it was Kazam or Shazam. Wait, there's two different movies named that? Kazam. It was Kazam. Kazam. Kazam.

All right. Francis is getting on the juice. It's not cold, though. Oh, no, it's perfect this way. No, you want it cold. If Kyle gets a strawberry, I'm going to be livid. Lime! Oh, I got the strawberry.

You got the strawberry? I've never had one. Oh, my God! Yeah. Oh, yeah, you can feel how. This floor is a sponge. Yeah, it really is. It actually doesn't even need to be cleaned.

I threw Kyle's way too many tops. This feels... Wait, I remember he predated Bill Nye. We didn't have the funds to watch Bill Nye, so we had the VHS of Mr. Wizard's World.

Oh, I remember that. Yeah. I remember that guy. Mr. Wizard said if a can's shaken up, you go. Rotate it. All right, Wizard.

Wow, it works. Every time. Try that. I have no idea. This is the best time I've ever tried. Try that on yours, Kyle, it works. Try that. I have no idea. This is the best time I've ever tried. Try that on yours, Kyle, because I threw yours reckless. Throw it harder. Oh, damn. On it smooth.

Soft hands. Yeah, the softest of hands. What's up? What'd I miss? Talking about Shaq? Yes. Shaq Fu. Great Sega Genesis video.

Oh, yes, this guy. You hear him talking already? Oh, yeah, that's awesome. No, no, no, no. It's the eeriest shit in the world. What is going on? He would have yard sales, and you'd have to ask him for the price. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I hate found footage. No. I'll give you $17.95. $17.95. $17.95. Where's the guy? $17.95. Where's the guy? Yeah Price Master Yeah that's what he's called you have to ask the rice master

oh these wonderful signs themselves are worth it. I'm glad you like it. They're hilarious. I love it. I'm nervous. Yeah, this is making me very uncomfortable. It's eerie.

It's eerie. Thank you. Hey, Nate Dog, are those cold? They're cold? Oh. Why don't you have one? Thank you, Nate. You should have strawberry.

Strawberry goes crazy. Nate, are the rumors true? Oh, Jesus. Sure. World Series of Poker, are you entering? Try these. I'm going to play the full summer. Full summer.

You're going to be there all summer? May 31st. In Vegas? Do you think you'll come out in the black? Not a joke. Talking to him, Mike. Oh, good, good, good, right. Talking to him, Mike.

An entire summer in Vegas. Thanks, pal. It gets hot in Vegas. Oh, bro, true. But you actually don't have to go outside there. I'm fascinated by Vegas. I've never been. I love it. I think I'd like it. i love it i'd like it i don't like

strip clubs i don't like i'm not a big fan like uh poker um i like magic i like the thank you nate i like the uh i like just like looking at the infrastructure no joke that's my favorite thing to do is just walk around and look at the buildings it has no reason to exist the amount i can't stop thinking about the amount of energy required for the air conditioning. I love the grandeur of it. Yes. They don't have water?

No, they get a lot of their water from Colorado, actually. The Colorado River is drying up. What is this? What's happening here? I don't know. I'm not quite sure what's going on. He's been in the office all morning. Oh, okay. He chills a lot. I'm not quite sure what's going on. He's been in the office all morning. Oh, okay. He chills a lot.

I see him around all the time. Right. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I'm just, like, I'm fascinated by, like, the splendor of it and just, like, the idea and the notion of it. It's one of those things that has no business existing, and I like just sort of being in it. I don't really particularly love, like, the typical Vegas trappings.

I just sort of. Same, yeah. I sort of just like observing it. I just enjoy observing it because it's unique to me to see something that is 24-7, 365. It's like one of those if those walls could talk type situations. All those rooms, they just have people coming in and out. Imagine if you could really examine

what has happened in this particular room. I think Vegas has an overall pretty sad vibe to it. Yeah, for sure. That's why it's interesting to me. You stay longer than two, three days, it starts to get dark. Yeah. I mean, I met all the people living in the tunnels. Yes.

Those people that have just, they're not born there, right? No. Not in the tunnels, I'm just saying in Vegas. They show up in Vegas. They play a little too much Keno. They get addicted to crystal meth, and then, boom, they're down in the tunnels. It could happen to any of us. Is that the most frightening thing you've ever seen?

Okay. Yeah, well, I wasn't actually, like like super scared at the time but once we left the tunnel our guide was like you pointed that camera at the wrong person and he reached for his gun and i didn't i didn't even know that was happening until we had left could you see but yeah we were just going in the video or like on that guy you could see him sort of reach for we didn't even know he was there we were just like filming straight ahead and then we walked by and there's like three guys in the shadows and once they see that we have this like giant video camera they're like what the fuck are these guys because i think they were down there to buy drugs oh okay oh where was this vegas las vegas oh the tunnels

the tunnels that video was awesome slow down francis Francis. Yeah, dude. Yeah, damn. Sheesh. Good God. Oh, you guys said, hey, it's Friday. It's Friday. And I said to myself, here we go. Hell yeah. I'm streaming with Rudy tonight, and I'm going to keep the party going until then, and then I'm going to continue it a little more.

Oh, I love that. Let's play a drinking game. All right, deal. All right. Yeah, I'm going to send a video. Okay? Okay. Play a game, a drinking game.

I'm so out of the drinking game world. Let's say a letter, and we have to name every country that begins with that letter. That's fun. Ooh, Kyle's going to win. Or we just say a letter. No, it's whoever loses. Say a letter, and you have to. Let's just do the celebrity one.

What's that one? You have to say the last name, initial. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that. I was thinking we say a letter and a topic, and you have to say it until you can't think of one. It's like in Kings. Can you give me that?

Categories. Categories in Kings, yeah. Okay, gotcha. If it's all the same letter, I think that makes it a little bit tougher. Oh, wait. I got an idea. Yeah, Francis. How about this? Yeah. Okay, gotcha. If it's all the same letter, I think that makes it a little bit tougher. Oh, wait. I got an idea. Yeah, Francis. How about this?

Yeah. All right. Here's the deal. The name of the game is Jury Duty. And let's say that I were the first judge or something. I get to present a quick case. And then you guys are potential jurors and I say is there any reason why any of you think you can't render an

impartial verdict on this case and each one of you has to present let's say in a minute or less your excuse for why you can't serve on that jury. Got it. The best one gets to be the next judge

and doesn't have to drink and everyone else has to drink. Sure. I like it. Before that, good news and bad news. What would you guys like to hear first? Bad. Bad news. We got an email today of congratulating everybody who's been promoted.

And none of us. Solely promoted. What? Good news? Good news? Yeah. We got an email today saying people Solely promoted. Oh. What? Good news? Good news? Yeah. We got an email today saying people that got promoted, and Garrett, who makes our thumbnails, promoted.

Yay! Well deserved. He's been making mine, too. He's great. I actually always love to see when he sends them. I'm like, ooh, what's this one? I'm always curious what it could be. He's so good at it, yeah.

Awesome. Congrats, Garrett. I worked with him on the stool scenes once. He's awesome. Yeah. All right. Nice. Love that. Congrats, Garrett. That worked with him on the stool scenes once. He's awesome. Yeah. All right. Nice. Love that.

Congrats, Garrett. That's very talented. Okay. Chill. Jury duty. Okay? Okay. So here's the case.

Quick case for you. I'll just say that- Before you start, I'm racist and sexist. That's actually all you have to say. No, you don't, because now I'm going to present a case that has nothing to do with either of those things, if I so choose. It's not going to have race or sex in it? Correct. Okay.

It's going to be about animals. Okay. A raceless, genderless being. Yeah. Hell yeah. Here's the case um a woman is driving home uh in staten island over the staten island bridge one day and um a car behind her it says on the on the but the excuse me it says on the bridge that you're not allowed to switch lanes on the on the but the excuse me it says on the bridge that you're not allowed to switch lanes on the bridge i'm pretty sure but uh in front of her is another car that uh she wants to go by and so she decides to switch lanes to go past it and in so doing she enrages the driver of that car

so much that that driver uh rams her and she crashes into a a big piece of cement in the bridge and uh you know has a fracture of her like l5s1 lumbar vertebrae uh which you know causes her like a little loss of mobility but no paralysis or anything like that and she sues um that she's suing those people for punitive damages uh is there any reason why any of you think you cannot render an impartial verdict on this case? The woman is old, by the way. I fucked her in a shop right, actually. Yeah, I fucked her right before you did, actually. Yeah, after I fucked her for the fifth time.

No, no, no. It was the first time you fucked her, I remember. It was like the third or fourth time I fucked her, and then she went over to you. You were like, damn, I can't believe I'm about to fuck her for the first time. Oh, you thought that was the first time? Yeah. Okay. No wonder she's so much back pain. I would love to. It was not before or after I scissored her behind the Kroger's. It was well after.

Wow who is this dumb slut? No I can't do it because I was the one that ran her off the road. I would also very much I've been trying to get jury duty my whole life but the problem is that I'm blind oh my god it was ready

every case revolves around vision and also I have a relationship with this woman we met we were high school sweethearts I designed the bridge you're Verrazano yep and that's me and I know too much about the bridge. You're Verrazano?

Yep. And that's me. And I know too much about the bridge. She knows too much about bridges. Right. I'm too much. Yeah. Would that work? Civil engineer.

Civil engineer. Uh-huh. I suffer from serious road rage and ran someone off the road a year prior and still don't believe I did anything wrong. I feel like you need to be able to express yourself while driving. So, yeah, I don't think I'm the right guy for the job. All right. I got to give it to him, to be honest with you. That was the most realistic, and I'm giving it to Donnie.

I thought that was the most realistic and a genuine reason for why he would not be able to render an impartial verdict. I'll drink with you guys. Let's say half a high noon. Something actually punitive. Can I share one story about jury duty in real life? Please. I've never gotten it. I love jury duty.

I've never even gotten a summons. I had just gotten back from China. I was called in for jury duty in real life please i've never gotten it i've never even never even gotten a summons i had just gotten back from china i was called in for jury duty in massachusetts and i didn't want to have to be like sitting in a court for a week when i was only home for a month so i was like i have to get out of this and the guy was actually a car accident some guy was like suing his friend because he hurt his neck in the accident and the dude had like a really shitty haircut and a Chinese neck tattoo. And I just had to like, the lawyers asked, are any of you guys biased? And I raised my hand, they called me up. And I had to talk to both the lawyers and be like, I've just like, I know a lot of people with neck tattoos. And like, they've always been very bad people. And they both gave me a horrible look

they're like really you're gonna judge someone just off of that and i was like i'm sorry man that's just how i feel oh my god and it worked and it worked yeah i felt kind of bad about it but it's real like that's i got out would too yeah especially it was like a white dude with a chinese neck tattoo yeah i mean most of those guys aren't great. I didn't get picked, but I had to go through the process. It took like a week in the Bronx when I had my old job that I didn't love. And you only had to go there for like a couple hours a day, and your lunch break was like two hours long.

So I'd go to like a really good deli. I'd go for nice walks near the stadium. Like your employer can't do anything about it, right? No. Yeah, no, it was great. I don't think this game is as good as I thought. It feels like playing the real-life version is as good as i thought it feels like um playing the real life version is more fun just talking about it yeah i felt like i put up too

much uh structure there and tried to make something i really tried to force something to happen i like i can see i liked it well i thought we needed a little bit of a boost because it's starting to lull it wasn't i have something kicking my legs just i have something to say. It's not my business to share. Okay. Yeah? I was walking past front desk, and I was talking to Ebony. And I just brought up how I asked how her kids were doing. She's like, good. My oldest goes to high school next year.

I said, wow, is she like you? And she said, I hope not. Should I say this? Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. She likes the OnlyFans shout-out. Ebony got kicked out of seven high schools. I was should I say this oh boy oh yeah yeah she likes the OnlyFans shoutouts Ebony got kicked out

of seven high schools oh yeah oh shit all for fighting that's insane that's nuts that's a lot yes that's a lot

you were only in high school for four years it's almost two a year yeah yeah she went to I'll say that's who you want at your front desk yeah

that's who you want that's I mean she got kicked front desk. That's who you want. That means she got kicked out of seven, so she went to eight. Yes. Or did she stop after that? Do we get her? I don't want to.

Seems really sensitive. Did any of you guys get in fist fights? No. In high school? Just in general. In life. I've been in a few. Really? in fist fights? No. In high school? Just in general. In life. I've been in a few. Really? Yeah.

You? Yeah. Were these in high school or were these in college? Just because someone misused a comma. One was in, well, I think two were in college and then one was after college. Somebody talks shit on the elements of style. Yeah. My lifetime record is one, one, and one the elements of style. Yeah. One was, my lifetime record

is one, one, and one. That's good. Okay. So it was the tie they pulled you away? The tie, we just didn't really, nobody did,

nobody connected, nobody heard each other. There was no clear winner. Now what was the- So when Matt Damon put that phone number against the window and said,

how about them apples? Yeah. Yeah. We never fought. No, how about them apples? Yeah. We never fought. What were your fights? Yeah. Well, the worst one was the one I lost. I think I've told this story on Matt and Shane's podcast a few times.

I don't know. I told it on that, but I got beat up in Portland, Maine by a lobsterman. Oh, shit. Salty dudes. On a boat. It was at a pizza place, just outside of a pizza place after the bar was closed. What sparked it? Just drunk at the end of the night?

He had punched a guy that I was sitting with who wasn't really a close friend. I was with some friends. We were in a pizza place after the bar was closed. Everyone was really drunk what was your uh physical fitness at the time right i was in sophomore in college and we were heading into the season i was in really good shape but i you know i'd never been in a fight before so so you lost your first fight especially with a lobster yeah i got really i got really hurt yeah so you just Why did the guy punch the guy you were with?

Because the guy came into the pizza place with his girlfriend and another girl, and those girls were fighting. They were really mad at each other. Almost like they were almost in a physical fight. And then one of my – the guys that I was sitting with were not my friends but were guys that i knew and i was just i just dipped over to their table to say hi to them but my real friends were in another booth one of the guys that i was sitting with said something like keep your dogs on a leash about the girls and then the guy came over and was like that's my girlfriend what did you say and he was like fucked up and

eating pizza and he was like i you know i don't know did you say? And he was like fucked up and eating pizza. And he was like, I don't know. He said some other shit. And then the big guy punched. He was sitting in a booth with a slice of pizza in his hands. And the big guy just punched him in the nose instantly. It happened so fast. And his nose exploded all over the pizza,

which was a full pie. Full pie. And all of a sudden sudden i remember looking at him and he was cupping blood that was pooling into his hands and then all the guys that were part of his friends and and me got swept up to to be mad at that guy and they were kind of pushing and being like what the fuck why did you do that and then his two buddies came and joined and then the guy who owned the pizza place or somebody pulled the fire alarm which sent everyone outside and then i was the first person from the group outside and because i'd been sitting with them the guy who had thrown that first punch was already waiting and he saw me come out and he squared up and then i didn't there's nowhere for me to go yeah i

couldn't be like i'm not really that close with these guys i don't really care that you did that yeah you couldn't explain the whole just all of a sudden i was in a fight and how long did it last dude honestly i i mean he knocked me to the ground. I don't know exactly how. And then he got on my back and just he was standing over me, like straddling me. And then he grabbed my coat and was swinging, like holding my face for himself to just. I was on my hands and knees. Oof. He broke my orbital bone. Oh my god,

Frank. I had hairline fractures in my gums. This tooth got knocked out. My nose was broken. Did you go to the hospital immediately after this? We were pretty drunk, and so we... His friends

and the guys that I was sitting with got together. They all fought each other. I just got beat up. And, uh, finally he like got off of me and sort of helped me up. And at that point,

nobody really was mad anymore. I mean, maybe they, the guys I was with were, but they all, his friends got in a cab and fled because they had, I mean, he'd thrown the first punch and the fire alarm was still going off and then our group they got in a cab and took heater was his name with the broken nose to the hospital but then the my actual friends

who were still inside had come out and sort of seen a little of this unfold and were probably like, why the fuck is Fran in this? Because they didn't know the other guys. Yeah. And they took me back to our buddy Hillman's place where we were spending the night. And we were all so fucked up. I just didn't feel much and was like, wow, that was crazy. There was a lot of adrenaline. Then we went to bed.

Then the worst part was that because I slept with all this blood in my mouth, I swallowed all the blood. Do you know that your body doesn't let you swallow blood? I did not know that it alerts you that it makes you sick to the taste of blood as a warning sign that you have internal bleeding oh yeah can't digest your own blood uh and it's it's your body's own natural way of being like hey something inside you is bleeding you need to fucking sort this out and so the next morning i woke up at like 6 a.m and all of a sudden obviously hung hung over and not drunk anymore and my i was in so much pain rushed to the toilet threw up so i realized my tooth was gone and then uh i went home and it was christmas eve and then i had to go get emergency dental surgery. Oh my God. The dentist wasn't open on Christmas Eve.

Whoa. So did you get, was it like shameful? Like were you guys standing? It was really bad. Did you guys start standing up and you're squared up like boxers and he knocked you to the ground? He was already, he had his hands up

when I walked out of the thing and he probably thought I was going to attack him because he had punched the first guy, who he thought was my friend, because I was sitting with him. So what about the fight you've won? The fight I won happened in Boston, outside of a nightclub called Splash, and it's not a gay club.

No, no, yeah. You saying that makes me... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's security. It's not gay. club no no yeah you saying that makes me yeah it's not gay that didn't cross my mind at all we were we were there it's a nightclub definitely not gay we used to go there on wednesdays and it be i think it was like a mostly a bu nightclub or bar and uh one night we went and a friend of mine had dated a girl who went to bu and she was there they'd broken up and now she was hanging out with all these like, I think they were Moroccan kids. Moroccans are always the first to swoop in. BU had a lot of very wealthy Persian and Arab kids.

Okay. And they were always going to the nightclubs and buying bottle service and stuff in Boston, which, you know, it's not really a scene, but you can still feel rich. Yeah. And he went over to talk to his ex. One of them stood up on a table and poured an entire drink on his head. That sort of set things off in there. And then we went outside, like our whole group and their whole group, and it was snowing and everyone was like slipping around.

And they kept punching. I was sober. And they were punching people and fighting and bullshit, and they would like kind of run away and then scurry back and punch someone else. And then someone in our group, who I wasn't really that close with, but who always is, who didn't like me, once he saw that they had left, he sort of turned his anger against me and started getting really mad. That's who you fought?

Yeah, he was like in my face and started bringing up all these things that had been problems for us over the years and just you know calling me names and I kept kind of rocking misdirect I thought I know no this that really got me good yeah then I finally I had enough and I pushed him away from me and he thought that that was like the start of the fight so then he came after me and then I took I took him as he was running at me I took him and I slammed his head off of a car fender. Cool. I separated his ear from his head. Like he split his ear up to here. Did you ever speak after that?

Yeah. Oh. But it was not good for a long time. Yeah, I can imagine. Because I grabbed him and then took him down and smashed his head on a fender of a car damn dude i did not expect uh this level of violence i used to be i used to be i mean he's a lacrosse player no i was just an idiot and i used to think too that like fighting you know you could fight someone and there nothing happen. It would be like in the movies. Yeah, that's not the case.

You'd kind of just like scrap and, you know, Green Street hooligans. You just like shake it off, have a black eye, laugh it off, have a beer. There's something romantic about it. I thought it was also like a really manly thing. And then I, you know, yeah. And then the last, man. Speaking of, by Rough and Rowdy tonight Oh yeah that's a great segue to that

IRNR.com Yeah One of the Ables Went after Tank Oh I didn't see that but I heard Yeah because He called him Unable Oh Frank

That's a bar It has bars for days Irish Dave Portnoy There's no way that's the first time they've ever heard that right Oh, Frank. That's a bar. Damn. That's bars for days. That's a bar. You got Irish Dave Portnoy tonight. There's no way that's the first time they've ever heard that, right? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I had to have heard that before. The Able brothers, they always have their trouble in the ring here.

They fight real fighters, and usually they end up unable. Frank, I'm two and one, buddy. You need to learn some fucking math and put some respect on my name. Where did he jump in from? I'll tell you what, he just lost some fans. Where did he jump in from? Is that his real voice?

Yeah. That's his angry voice. Yeah, he came in like a Batman villain. Fucking math and put some respect on me. What kind of accent is that? It's always Pittsburgh. It's just comically Pittsburgh. Weird.

Oh, my God. Comically Pittsburgh. Their podcast is insane. Yeah. Like, unlistenably insane. I heard about their podcast. I've seen the titles alone, and that's good enough. Yeah, I've listened to a couple.

They get political. After every time there is an event where people, you know, there's like a mass agreement to post things online, I check and see if the Abel brothers have a podcast. They always do. But sometimes they'll just do do a filler Star Wars recap. Yeah, it's unbelievable. They'll do the Palestine-Israel conflict,

and then just right between it's just like, was the Dark Knight as good as we thought? That's awesome. But what's the biblical thing, Cain and Abel? So Abel is the good son, and Cain is the bad son? Yeah. Yes. And the third son.

And what... My brother's keeper. Does one of them kill the other? Yeah. Cain kills Abel, then Cain is... That was the first murder. ...first to walk the earth. Wow.

Yeah. A fight is actually why I started wearing the shades, sort of. Oh, yeah. I kept wearing them when I was like, I should probably hide my identity. If I have to go back to America and find like a real job. And then they just dig up all these vids from China. But in the first few vids, I was wearing one.

Cause a Chinese dude punched me directly in the eye. And my entire eye was just full of blood. It was just bright, bright red. And I was teaching kindergarten at the time so like yeah you gotta yeah i just showed up wearing shades to teach little kids and they were like are you gonna take them off and i was like i don't think you want me taking them off and showed them the eye and they were like yeah yeah definitely keep those on yeah damn so did

you when he punched you did you fight back or did you just... I tried to, but he had backup. If you're a foreigner, don't get in a fight in China because you're not going to win. Yeah, I've never had any desire to street fight in my life. Do wrestling matches ever escalate and get out of hand and somebody starts swinging? Parents have to. Surprisingly, so rarely. Yeah. I've seen clips of it. and get out of hand and somebody starts swinging or like no. Parents have to. Surprisingly so rarely. Yeah. I've seen clips of it. I've seen like head

butts and stuff. Yeah maybe like head butts but like an actual fist fight. It doesn't really happen. People are too tired from the match. Yeah. Also I think that if there's like a sport that has like violence sort of in its DNA that sort of diffuses it.

It's almost like the places that have no violence sort of cultivate the most in a weird way. Whataburger. Yeah. Always. There's the best fight video of all time at a Whataburger. I don't know if I've seen that. Hockey parents seem to get in a lot of fights, though. Oh, yeah.

I feel like i see a headline a couple years it's like some hockey hockey parents are are a wild bunch like it will be at like a peewee hockey game oh yeah no it's fucking shit out of one of the i had a funny one time we were playing a tournament we were on a travel trip we put we went and played in brockton broxton oh i've been there yeah it's a mass mass yeah brockton mass oh really and uh that was like you know that's like that's it's rough rough yeah so he's from brockton that's that's where he's born oh shit then he made his way to born yeah so we were playing this really rough team and then it got pretty hot and then

one of our coaches started like screaming at one of their fans in the stands and then like hurled an insult at him he's like oh eat another fucking meatball and then it got like really hot and then my cousin who's from swamp scott actually uh was at the game watching me and as we were leaving the rink um one of uh the kids who played with his dad is a cop and he always like you know how like off duty cops are they're kind of always like ready for something yeah and so we were coming off and they were kind of worried that like one of those parents was like legit gonna like swing on an 11 year old and uh so he was like standing right by where we were coming off and my cousin was like coming to

say hi to me and my buddy's dad who was a cop thought that he was like going to attack like these children hockey players and took him and like them and choked them out against the glass. And I was like, that's Doey. That's my cousin Doey. He goes by Doey. Cousin Doey? Yeah. I went to his wedding.

His wedding was in Salem, Mass. in December. Doey. Yeah, Doey. His name's Alexander, but my other cousin couldn't say Alexander, so they called him Alexand-doey. So he goes by Doey. Oh. I just thought he was.

Is he overweight? Yeah. Oh, wildly athletic dude. That's good. That's good. Yeah, wildly athletic. Dave's mom taught him at Newton. Wow.

At Swampscott. Swampscott, excuse me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, have you guys ever been mugged? No. Or pickpocketed? No.

Oh. Oh. Okay. No. I just got pickpocketed. Just got pickpocketed no oh okay no just got pickpocketed just got picked up here no like a few weeks ago or a month ago when i was in the dominican republic with dave oh yeah that was just like in the chaos of the game but i'm actually so happy i got pickpocketed and didn't get like mugged at knife point or yeah yeah yeah being mugged i don't know how i think about that sometimes yeah like i've never had a gun pointed at me like that oh that would be terrifying yeah or even happened to me i would move back to west virginia

i don't know if that's yeah i mean the gandhi yeah new york city there's a lot of people when you tell them you live in new york they're like, oh, is that safe? Like, how do you handle that? And it's like not a person in this room has been mugged in New York or even. It's part of the luxury of always being around a hundred other people. Yeah, you're not. Yeah, no. Yeah, that's a misnomer for sure.

Yeah, except when you're taking the subway home at 4 a.m. from hooking up with a chick up at Columbia. You're tight. Oh. That wasn't Colombian up with a chick up at Columbia. You're tight. Oh. What? That wasn't me. Colombian poon? That's not me.

You're going up to Columbia? Once upon a time, someone did that I know. Mommy. And said that the girl drank wine instead of water at bedtime. That was the reason that didn't go any farther. Yeah, but if you're taking the subway super late at night, it's typically not smart.

I don't think I do it after 10. Yeah. 4 a.m. subway is weird, man. I've never done it. It's half drunk people sleeping and then half day laborers. Oh, yeah. Going to far reaches or coming home or whatever.

People like working, starting at work. Like people in scrubs and people, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of. Yeah. No, yeah, no. There's a certain point where you just don't do it because it's just like. Eerie.

Yeah, it's very eerie. It's eerie. I've had it back in my younger days when I lived here before. Falling asleep on the subway drunk at like 3 in the morning, waking up and being like, where the fuck? Waking up in Coney Island? Yeah, having to run off the train to vomit on the platform. I've done that.

Oh, I had it all the time. Trooper. You've lived a life. Yeah. That was a real shit bag. I wish I could say I don't know what that's like. TJ, are we allowed to show the shirt mock-ups that we have uh if you want to yeah we have some new for this is for the viewer uh there's a whole thing just

spilling just so you know not that it matters that's all good uh we have some uh yak shirts that we're going to try to get some prototypes of. This is a prototype. Look at this. One for everybody. I want that to mean selfishly, Che. Fire. And I was trying to think whose would sell the least. Oh, is it going to be like a contest? I think we're going to try to do some sort of contest.

I feel like on top of me having the least amount of followers on the panel, my shirt also just says, of course, I come fast. Nick, I thought yours, Sass's, and Zaz's were my favorite. I mean, they're all really good. Oh, and I like the gun. Yeah. Rone's is tough. Zaz's is so good. So good.

So good. And TJ's is icy. That's cool. Who made these? I don't know. I don't know. I would say Sass's probably has the worst design. Oh, I don't know. The sunflowers? I would say that Sass probably has the worst design. Oh, I don't know.

The sunflowers? I thought those were fireworks. I thought they were the creator tee. Why do they have the sunflowers? Is that like a Sass thing? No idea. I think it's just a... I like it, though.

The sunflowers are cooler. I thought they were fireworks. Yeah, no, sunflowers. And he's got the weed, the two middle fingers. It's a cooler one, in my opinion. I'm going to go Zal 1, Sass2, TJ3. What's Kyle's background?

Who's to say? What's the longest yak ever? When we were still on the Barstool main page, and we said we weren't going to end the yak until we hit 1 million subscribers on the main page. It was like, TJ, how long was that? Was that 4 hours? Just under under, just under four hours.

Oh, that's light work, dude. You got to a million? Yeah. Yeah, we pushed the last 2,000 and change. Wow. I watched that live in Italy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when I used to watch the Yak live

because it would come on at 7 p.m. That's convenient. Yeah, very convenient. That's nice, yeah. What is the best block of programming is it 7 and 7 p.m prime time but the problem is the competition exactly we're a good lunchtime show you eat your lunch at work um what's the one that drew carry hosts uh that used to be right during the day the price is right They said that's been number one in its time slot for the last like 50 years.

Oh, shit. Because there's so little competition and it's like anybody who works from home stays at home. It's like just the go-to show that everybody watches. I might do a live show at like 4 a.m. Yeah. It's also wild though how a lot of people have jobs where they can be listening or watching something

almost the whole day. Like I think a good majority of the population might be at work for a full eight hours, but are actually only doing work for an hour and a half, two of those. Yeah, and you can also completely do work while consuming some sort of media. I think it really depends on what work you're doing, though. Yeah, maybe not like flying an airplane. Oh, definitely flying an airplane. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, flying an airplane. Oh, definitely flying an airplane. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, flying an airplane. Francis, what time did Barstool Breakfast start? 7 a.m. Oh. And you did that for? I did that for, I don't know, a year and a half, two years. The first year we did it, Monday through Friday, I didn't miss a show. Wow.

Five, Monday through Friday for an entire year, I didn't miss a show. And they Five. Monday through Friday for an entire year. I didn't miss a show. And they still have. You got up every day at what? Six? Like five. Five? 30.

Yeah. Sucked. It was really brutal. That's tough. The Gentleman's Friday's got. You guys were. Wild. I know you were not a fan of that.

No, I didn't like it. I didn't like. Because your whole day is fucked after that. Drinking wine and eating prosciutto and Parmesan at 7.30 a.m. Yeah, that'll slow you down. Just like, what do you do after that? It's heartburn. It's fart.

If someone doesn't stay out late now, I like these Fridays. Because they're kind of like a soft on-ramp onto the Friday evening. I'm a during-the-day Saturday sleep by 10 o'clock. Yeah, I'm in the same boat. It's great. If you're going to drink, I would much prefer to do it during the day. More fun. Yeah.

We moved out of that place, but remember those parties we used to have? You guys both came to a few on our deck. Yeah. Those were so fun and calm. I liked that it was a safe place. It was safe. It was a good atmosphere. Yeah.

Took care of us. And then those nights would be, you know, people would leave, but whoever was left, we'd often turn it into a game night. That was nice. Did you guys ever play Catan? No, we always had too many people for that.

It's a tough one for a big group. Yeah. I have one for you, though, that we're going to really enjoy. All right, let's get it going, bro. Okay. Can I tell you guys a quick story? Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I did yesterday? Actually, yeah. No, I don't. I went to a wine auction. I've heard those existed, but I've never seen one in the flesh i've never what like super crazy wines like what so yeah i mean they have insane wines yeah um but i have a very good friend whose family has a a vineyard in napa and he's in the wine world he's a sales person for his family's vineyard so he goes to all kinds of distributors,

but also restaurants and tries to get their wine in there. Okay. So he knows wine really well. And I'm, you know, I love hanging out with him and having him sort of teach me a little bit about wine. And he told me that there was an auction happening at this restaurant

yesterday. And, uh, he was like, you should come and you pay 125 bucks and you get a full meal and then and it's like and they are pouring wines for you but that it's also a really small group of people who are really in the know about wine i guess and they all know each other because they're always going to these events and it's buyers for like really high-end restaurants but also

people buying on behalf of collectors who have private cellars and things like that yeah and um the cool part is that everybody brings one or two bottles of like flex wine wine that they're gonna they're trying to flex okay oh okay and then they go around and they pour everybody who's there a little bit. Yeah. What do they carry it in? When does the auction happen? The auction's happening the whole time. Okay.

So this one had two people in the front who would take, if you held up your paddle, they would take your bid and input it. But there were two tv screens with the auctioneer saying this next lot is you know six bottles of 1983 whatever and who you know do i see x and then if someone in new york would do it but you were also bidding against people in dubai so they had an auction room in dubai taken yeah yeah and it was it was really cool and there was a guy there uh i mean a very eclectic group of people uh there was a guy there who's a podcast host of a podcast called wine and hip-hop that everybody knew and he was like wearing his own

merch it was super cool um and then there was a guy who's like everyone knows is like a total auction shark. And they all have their laptops. So, I mean, they're there for its work. Yeah, yeah. But the meal was insane. And the wines that people are pouring for you, like they get it once. Once people realize that the last one has sort of been drunk down, someone else stands up and it's their turn. And everyone's like, oh, shit, what does this person have? How many people are there? 18. Wow. Once people realize that the last one has sort of been drunk down, someone else stands up and it's their turn.

And everyone's like, oh, shit, what does this person have? How many people are there? 18. Wow. 16. I mean, it's not a ton. Yeah, it's tight. And the thing that was challenging was even finding out where this was.

Because they don't want people just coming in and taking advantage of it. They want you to be there if you're really going to buy wines. Did you partake in any bidding? I bid, but I didn't win. I had a limit. That's the best case scenario. And I got outbid by Dubai. I'm not going to fuck with these guys.

What was the typical range of the price of these? It was all over the map. I mean, you know, they had some lots that were, you know, one bottle of just a Californian red wine or something that might have been like $500, $600, which is a lot. But then you could also find there were a case of 12, you know, 1921 French red wine that was $75,000, 88 or something my stance on wine is like after a hundred dollars a bottle i'm not really tasting the difference like you can tell the difference between like a 15 and a 75 dollar bottle of wine but like after a hundred i don't know but this is the thing like these people aren't a lot of them aren't even either drinking it or aware of themselves. It's about knowing what's on the, like, this, oh, you have that. Okay. Because wine collectors.

Pokemon cards. Yeah. Exactly. They know what's what. They know, like, you know, what's prestigious. And it's a flex. It's just the object of it it's owning rarity the rarity and the prestige owning something that people covet right exactly i did this blog about

um when the patriots won the super bowl gronk was on the bus chugging this bottle of wine it kind of went viral so i did a blog about i like zoomed in on the label what was the bottle of wine in the whole history or whatever and the winery saw it it's like a turns out it was like a 500 bottle of wine it's like really expensive and so they sent me one here to the office and i had it sitting on my desk sitting on my desk sitting on my desk and i was like when am i finally gonna drink this and so one day i just sat at my desk and i cracked that sucker open i like a shitty cup and it was a delight it was great but in hindsight i'm like you really should have saved that for like a special occasion you poured like a 500 bottle of wine into a plastic cup yeah and i i just that's a good hack though blog about the things that you want yeah yeah do you know what

it was what what vineyard i'll have to look up the i'll have to look it up again smoke show but yeah super nice i sent out like a tweet being like, I love hot pepper jelly. And then the company just sent me six bottles of hot pepper jelly. That's pretty sweet. Is it a red? Yes, it was. Dude, I love Brandon's wife. I mean, like, yeah, it has to be.

She's kind of already owned by someone. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Juan Tan, how's your uh wedding planning going it's going man um august 12th nice outside of dublin wow uh very cool destination which i actually saw we're doing the uh barstool bracket busters or what's it called? Yeah, the Bracket Busters. Busters. No, no, no.

I think it was a typo in the header. No, no, no. I think it's called Busters. Oh, not public yet, so never mind. Okay. But we do it every year, so. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like I can talk about it, because we're going to announce it pretty soon. But one of the prizes involves involves all right i'll stop but yeah yeah so i'm planning that um why why dublin why dublin or where um so my fiance's mom's side of the family is all from ireland okay her mom was born and raised there she still has a lot of family there and used to spend the summers there a lot growing up so oh yeah yeah she really wanted to have it there and um you're gonna wear a celtics jersey you try to fit in no i'm thinking some sort of like emerald green suit i'm actually around like 4 30 i'm going to look for suits how did your wedding planning go

i've heard like some couples say they they almost get divorced trying to plan the wedding i mean i just i just took a very passive role and therefore there was not much acrimony okay nice i never i never needed any kind of creative power or anything over it i just like i i would have been willing to you know do a just friends and just just family yeah and people get together and have a big dinner so with her wanting more than that i was like all right well you know do whatever you want yeah i'm kind of in the same boat trying to be as passive as possible not trying to be a groomzilla my buddy was a groomzilla. Oh, shit.

My boy Josh. I saw him have a meltdown because the venue for the reception had rectangle tables. He was like, that's for a fucking steak fry. You know Josh. Yeah, yeah. Former Marine. And groomzilla. Anger problem.

Oh, it's his preferable shape, sir. Round. Yeah, yeah. I'd prefer oval. Oh, yeah, Former Marine. Hey, that checks out. And Grimzilla. Anger problem? Oh, it's his preferable shape, circle. Round. Yeah, yeah. I'd prefer oval. Oh, yeah, that's classy. That's class, dude. Do you know the adjectival form of oval? What?

Ovary? Ovular? Ovular? Not ovular. Ovular? Ovular describes eggs. Oh. Oh.

You know it, but you don't connect the two words. It's. Close. Ovary. Apalectical. You're thinking elliptical? Yes. That's not a bad guess.

Elliptical, I think, does what would theoretically work, but oblong is. Oh. Yeah, we do own it. The way to describe a shape that is an oval. That's a good word. I love that word, oblong. That's a nice word. Those fit together. those letters are nice francis what do you have uh planned for the new york

office because oh golly you know can i just say how fundamentally sad it makes me to know that you guys are all leaving yeah i think it think it is going to be kind of sad. No, none of you are sad at all. None of you are sad. You guys have a new beginning, a new city, a new world, a new opportunity, cheaper rent, better life, fresh start. You know you can go, right? You know you can take your office space.

I can't. I think we have too much life here, unfortunately. My wife and I. It's definitely going to open up a lot of opportunities here. But the one thing, some people are concerned it's going to turn into a competition between the New York office and the Chicago office. I think a friendly competition might be fun. From the outside, I think there will always be a comparison, but I don't think...

If we were to come together once or twice a year and do some kind of field games thing, that'd be kind of fun. Yeah. If it were which office is generating more views, I can't think we would hold a candle

to you guys. I don't know about that. I mean, not to be a dick, we can't compete with Big Cat. Big Cat's just, you know Big Cat's just the whole company. Do you think you guys will have the leeway to hire some new people to fill some desks? I suspect we will, yeah. And I'm looking forward to that.

But I hope it works. It's hard. It's hard to know who will gel. You know, just because somebody's good at stand-up comedy or has done well on some podcasts here, does that mean they're going to understand the ethos? Are they going to have the work ethic? Is it a crapshoot of who works here who works here like who excels is there a formula yeah i i think there's i think there's

things you could well i mean think of how many times it hasn't worked well a lot of times we hire like there's not a lot of former employees. Usually people are here forever. I think there are more former employees than you might actually come to mind. Just because they haven't been fired doesn't mean that they're still working here. I don't think that there's a formula. I don't think so either. I think that everyone here has the capability to be huge. The riddle is figuring out how to make it,

whatever you have, like, play. Yeah. It's like taking something out of an environment that works and then putting it in a whole different environment. You have to, like, change its, like, DNA to make it work in, like, a different environment, which is the trick. Wrong. Your first name just has to rhyme with something right yeah that right wanton don yes name is big honestly yeah there's not a lot of guidance

when you first start working here it's overwhelming as fuck for me it helped because i'd been like making content on my own for almost like five years, not getting paid for it. So once I got the job, it's like, oh, now I can focus like my full time on this and be paid for it. But there's a lot of people just, you know, hired. Yeah, it is odd. You just get out of college or have never like worked in the content game and you kind of have to figure all that out yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, if you can find something

yeah my first month i lost like 20 pounds it's really overwhelming i got lucky i had kyle though i wouldn't have like yeah because nobody really uh it's like a a heads down kind of thing that's why i don't think like changing offices it doesn't matter It's all individualized. Yeah. Yeah. I got alopecia. My God. It was revolting. Alopecia barbae. Yeah. Like Francis, I felt so bad when like, when you got hired, I remember you were always a little paranoid. You're like, I'm going to get fired. Like, Oh shit, I'm worried. I'm going to get fired. And I was always like, dude, Francis, you're not going to get fired. Like, like what the hell? And like, I kept on telling you that over the years and then you eventually got fired.

No, someone once told me, though, that the employee who fears that they're going to be fired is the one you want working for you. As a boss, but as a person, that's no way to live a life. Oh, I know. But as a boss, it's like, oh, that's the person that's going to continue to try to fight for their job and prove themselves. And someone who thinks like, I'm I'm I'm set. I'm safe. I'm all good. They're not.

That person doesn't have that. Fear is a great motivator. It is. Yeah. But like, I worry about the fear part because if you operate with fear and try to be I don't know how to be scared and funny. Yeah, but I worry about the fear part because if you operate with fear, I don't know how to be scared and funny. Yeah. That would be the name of a solid show. Scared and funny?

That's just me. Well, it's easy to frame the motivation. You have to work. You have to put things out. You have to put things out you have to create and so if you're afraid if you're more afraid of losing your job uh or or then you are of a negative reception to your work then you're still gonna make things true i was always more afraid of i understand that that that's a more nuanced take on it i think think that like for me, because like lately people have been like, oh, you should just do full time content.

And like my my opinion on it is that. I actually kind of enjoy the dual role because it saves it saves face for me because then I can jump in and jump out and then I can be like, well, if I if something doesn't land, then I can just be like, well, it's not my thing. Which is sort of a coward's way out, to be honest. Oh. Jeez. Smart plan. Well, I mean, at some point you kind of, but you see what I'm saying, though.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. It's not like your whole identity. Yeah. So you can then be like, oh, well, I do multiple different things. It's a whole mental gymnastics. Yeah. Hey, Kyle and Nick, what are you guys going to do?

What's next? What do you mean? What do you guys got? We got a documentary approved for the summer. Really? Yeah. Can you tell us what the subject is? Can't really.

But you guys are going to post and produce it? Yeah, yeah. We're hoping it's going to be like over, like, you know, I was hoping like an hour 10, hour 20. Wow. You know, I thought I was asking you a really dumb question, but that's a great answer.

Yeah, that's awesome. That's exciting as heck. Yeah. KB kind of acted like you had just you a really dumb question, but that's a great answer. Yeah, that's awesome. That's exciting as heck. KB kind of acted like you had just asked a really dumb question. Oh, no. I didn't know what you meant. I don't think I did either. I was just trying to do something. No, no, no.

We actually have a meeting here in 20. Ah. Wow. You guys are going to start doing podcast episodes three times a week, I heard? No, not you. No. Never. There's a lot of prep work that goes into the one a week.

Oh, yeah. More than people, you know. Not just going in there and shooting the shit. Like the Yak. Yeah. The Yak has the luxury of being like six people. It's a daily show, yeah. Did we spin the wheel yet?

Oh, fuck yeah. I gotta put a marathon. Are we doing a marathon episode? It's so long. Why did you guys keep us so long? I don't know. Because no one has the... Big Cat's the only one that can end the episodes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've actually never been in here when a wheel has been spun. Really? Really. No. Fuck yes. All right.

Reset. Then you have to spin one more time. That's okay. I feel good. It's all right. There it goes. Oh, yeah. Tonight, me and Nick, if you're tethered to your computer,

me and Nick will be attempting to conquer the world. On risk? Civilization. Ooh, civilization. What time? I used to have that game on my computer way back in the day. I was obsessed with that game. It's a fun one.

Rudy's never played. Byzantines are my favorite. Can you play as them in that? Yeah, you can. Yeah, yeah. I like those guys. I was watching a documentary in that? Yeah, you can. Yeah, yeah. I like those guys. I was watching a documentary about that last night about Constantinople. I love the Byzantines.

I had, like, very, very interesting time in history to look into. They were essentially the Roman Empire. Like, that's what they called themselves. No, but they actually. Nice. That's what they called themselves. We call them the byzantines they considered themselves the roman empire right yeah i'm watching the yeah i was and they didn't cease to exist until like the 1400s 1430s so really the roman empire existed until the 1430s yeah that's what i'm watching right now. I'm watching about Mehmed's siege of Constantinople.

Yeah. Yeah. They hit me, yeah. They almost won. First invention of the... Fuck, man. Do you want to talk Byzantine history? I got to piss.

Let's get out of here. Happy Friday, everyone. Thanks, guys. Did you do the final read? Yes. Okay. All right, let's go. Oh,

my God. Thank you. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to stock shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Happy 20th birthday to Logan Primo. And happy third birthday to Luca.