The Yak - Something Terrible Happened to Brandon's Face | The Yak 2-7-23

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Is that a cactus?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Live, gate to yak. Clop it up, clop it up, clop it up. Welcome, Rome. Rome is here. Penny is feeling better. Penny's on the mend.

We're back. Good? Yeah, she's back. These guys know we're doing a show? No, they're just talking. Penny's back. Yeah, Penny's back in the's going to be all right. These guys know we're doing a show? They're just talking. No, they're just talking. They're just living. Penny's back. Yeah, Penny's back in the mix. We're feeling great.

How are you guys feeling? This house is fucking dope. It's sweet. It's really sweet. He swam every night. Yeah, he's an aquatic being. At 9 o'clock, he goes swimming in the saltwater pool. Is he skinny dipping?

No, he's skinny dipping. The pool is far and away the most comfortable place here. Yeah. You get in there, it's like 90 degrees. Yeah, it's beautiful. The whole area is beautiful. Scottsdale. You swam? I got wet yesterday.

I got the wet wheel, yeah. What the hell? I putt-putted a round this morning. I Kim Jong-un-ed it. Oh. Every single hole in the morning. I got a nine. Perfect game.

Wow. God. Wow. Perfect game. I oon-ed it. Wow. Fuck yes. Was it oon or ill?

I think they both managed to pull it. No, it was the first one, right? Yeah, yo, can you guys move him inside, Rudy? Look at that. Rudy's got us. Rudy's looking out, dude. Hey, it's rude boy. By the way, I just want it on the record.

People thought I threw a real football at Steven's face. I thought that's what we do now. This is a pillow. Steven, would you what we do now. This is a pillow. Steven, would you like to throw one at me? Just so we can show, we can prove it? Look, it's a pillow. Oh my God. This is a pillow.

Are you okay? They're like, how could he throw a football at his face? It's a fucking pillow. Imagine if you had like a cup in your mouth and that was a real football. Chip or two. Yeah, exactly.

That was just a- Show me that cactus. I got to get something off my chest. Yeah, let's go. You got to get something off my chest. Yeah, let's go. You got to get off your chest. Cactus talk. Oh! Look at that.

Damn. Who throws a cactus? Who does that? I'm going to think about this for three straight years. Yeah, I know. Don't worry, bro. That really was like a cornerstone moment for me. For what?

What did it? You throw me the cactus? I don't know. I mean, it's a hilarious move. Yeah, it is. It's a one-on-one. Objectively hilarious move. I believe it's never been done before. At least it's original. Is he the only person you've thrown a cactus to?

I think so. Oh, wow. You put thumbtacks on Frankie's seat. And I threw a lot of scissors, but never cactuses. Yeah, that's funny. Oh, yeah, dude. I had a video that got, it was like an early TikTok video that got taken down of me throwing scissors to everyone in the office. I was closed though, right? Huh?

Were they closed? No. It was like varied scissors. I've thrown multiple lit cigarettes at Nick. Yeah, that is true. See? Wait, do I get bullied? That's got to be true.

No, it's like a kid trying to say who his crush is. Like trying to pull a girl's hair. Oh, yeah. I want to suck you off. Helga Pataki. Yeah. Pataki. I want to suck you.

I want to suck you when that happens. Josh Richards in the house. Hey, Josh. What's going on, bro? Good to see you, my dog. What's going on? Good to see you. What's going on over here?

We're just doing a show. Yeah. No, no, you're fine. I'm just walking around enjoying the house. Yeah. So many activities. Yeah, a lot of activities. A lot of activities.

Yo, how is that ice luge still not melted? I know. Because it's cold here in the shade. If the sun doesn't hit directly, it's cold. That makes no sense. That's silly. It's going to be here all week, unless y'all want to break it. 2,000 likes, and Stephen will release his trusted data play.

I actually have a data play tonight that I'd like to say. Yes. Yeah, it's D'Angelo Russell. Very nice. Okay. What? D'Angelo Russell assists? All right, so Steven has two data plays and he can't decide between the two.

So I was going to just say one of them to take it out of your hands. You want me to do that? That's easy. You can't figure it out. Like, if I say it, then you can't have buyer's remorse being like, I would have done this. How many likes are we at? 1-9-9?

I'm actually doing you a favor. Because if I say it, then you can't. Which one would you like me to say? Say the one he started to say. John Morant? What are you doing here? All right, 2,000 likes and Steve will release a data plan. It could be anyone.

LeBron James? I took LeBron's over points tonight. It's heavily juiced. Yeah, he's going to break the record. Up four points. You got to have 36 to break it? 33. Oh.

36 to break it, 33 to win, my bet. That makes sense. Yeah. It's got to happen tonight. Yeah. It's normally 28 and a half, so it's like their take. No problem. No problem.

It's a doozy. He's going to drop a 50. He's's gonna drop a 50 he's gonna drop a 50 we go to the game let's go to the game um it's not gonna cost it's in an hour flight yeah wait is that oh yeah that is in la this is probably there in oklahoma city that would be awesome if he broke it in oklahoma city what a terrible place to break a record yeah that would suck badly yeah we were going to go to the Coyotes game last night. It's shockingly expensive. Really? Yeah, like $120 for a ticket.

$150. Yeah. But there's only $4,000. They're playing the college arena. Josh Richards going up. That was a walk. Can the Canadian dunk? No.

That was a walk. That's only like nine. Travel. That's also only like nine and a half feet. Not 10 feet. I dunked a pickleball yesterday, so I think it's pretty legit. That's not 10 feet. I grabbed the rim this morning.

I can't grab a rim. He dunked a pickleball. Yeah. I think you kind of missed that part. Case closed. That's not 10 feet. I grabbed the rim this morning. I can't grab the rim. He dunked a pickleball. Yeah. I think you kind of missed that part. Case closed. It's not 10 feet, Stephen. I don't want you to think that's 10 feet. Do you think right now it's 10 feet?

It is. If you had to guess. Money on the line. It's not 10 feet. I don't know. I mean, we can debate inches and everything. No, you can just measure. We could.

But, I mean, we got to keep it open. Not really. We could stop and go measure it, we've got to keep moving. Not really. We could stop and go measure it. It's a slanted rim, so it varies. It is. It's a loose rim. Okay. I mean, the fact is I dunked a pickleball yesterday.

You did? Yeah. I could dunk a pickleball. True or false, Stephen Shea dunked a pickleball yesterday? True. Apparently true. I didn't see it, but apparently true. That's Jay Rich, bro.

Throw it. Throw it. Jay. Yo. True. Apparently true. I didn't see it, but apparently true. Guys, it's Jay Rich, bro. Throw it, throw it. Jay. Yo. For the one time. It's a pillow. Don't worry about it. For the one time. For the one time.

Oh, be careful with that pillow. That could hurt someone. So we had Barstool Radio yesterday. Yeah. I had my wife with me. Yeah. Oh, boy. We're sitting in the corner.

Okay. Hanging out. So first of all, you abandoned her. Me and Kyle went to go talk to her. I didn't abandon her for long. I had to go to the bathroom. Was she one of the women giving out shots? No, no.

That was the... No, no, no. Oh, got it. Similar attire. Yeah. Okay. So, we're sitting in the corner, and our Yak fan got a little too familiar. Oh.

Oh, no. What way? He goes, he yells to me. He's like, Nick, Nick, Nick. This is Brandon's wife. Oh. And she goes, and she takes the lead, he's like, Nick, Nick, Nick. This is Brandon's wife. She goes and she takes the lead. And she said, yeah, hi.

And then he just goes, oh. That's how you A grown ass man who had a wife with him. That's how you She was standing right next to him. She was encouraging him. That's how you ruin big tip wife jokes. We gotta release her back to the wild and take her to a Hooters and just leave encouraging you. What did we do to encourage that? That's how you ruin Big Tit Wife jokes. What did we ever do? They made it a joke.

We gotta release her back to the wild and take her to a Hooters and just leave her there. My wife? Yeah, it's over. The jokes are done. He just did it.

He's like, that's crazy. Here's what I'll do. Since I started doing those jokes, so nobody does that anymore, tonight at the Barstool Bar I'll just walk around with my hands on her tits.

Okay, yeah, perfect. Nobody can see them. Perfect, alright. That's around with my hands on her tits. Okay. Nobody can see them. Perfect. All right. That's fair. Like that Janet Jackson album. Yeah. That's fair.

That's crazy. Wait, what was the nature of it? Was it a honk or was it a... It was a boop. I mean, it is a compliment. Very nice. Sure. But she doesn't know we do this.

She doesn't at all. She was very quiet. I felt terrible. He was talking to Nick with my wife sitting around. Hey, Nick, you were right. Oh, no. What did you say, Nick? I went to her.

I went right to damage control, and I lied to the woman. I said, we always make fun of how you're very out of Brandon's league. Ah, nice. Good deflection. Kind of true. Yeah. And then her and Nick made out for about 45 minutes. Nice. Yeah. It was just tongue true. Yeah. And then her and Nick made out for about 45 minutes. Nice.

Yeah. It was just tongue-nosed. I can't believe. That's wild. Yeah. There was also a coin in the wild yesterday. Yeah. Sitting front row.

He was hunting. Yeah, it was a barstool event, so you can't do it. But they can't get us damn near anywhere this week. That was, yeah. Well, they can get us in the wild. They can get us in the wild. But knowing it's a barstool event and still trying to con a kiss, gay. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, I just want to say for anyone in Scottsdale right now, I'm starting to get a little canker sore on my lip. So, come on, bring your coins. Let's go. Try it. Try me. Try me. He's going to kiss you first and get us.

Yeah, he is. Pass it around. We went out to dinner last night after, and Steven ordered for an entree Brussels sprout nachos. God damn it. And he was mad. Hold on, I haven't finished the story. He was mad that they were nachos with Brussels sprouts on them,

not Brussels sprout nachos. Well, the picture is extremely deceiving. I thought they were Brussels sprout flavored nachos. No, he thought they were nachos. He thought they were nachos. He thought they were nachos. They were cheese, Brussels sprouts, Brussels sprouts, then cheese on top. And so the nachos instead of chips,

it was just Brussels sprouts. Yeah. He was mad that that wasn't the case. Yeah. So there were no nachos? Oh, there were nachos. Oh, you wanted just nachos. I think I'm Team Steve.

If you get cauliflower wings, that's the title. Why would it say nachos? Because it's kind of like nachos. Weren't you also at an organic place? You were at a taco place? Yeah, it was good. It was a unique thing. But that was the first entree on the menu.

And PFT was making fun of me because it was one of those scan-in menus, the QR code. And I pulled it up and I stopped and I was like, the first entree on the menu, and PFT was making fun of me because I was just, like, it was one of those scan-in menus, the QR code, and I pulled it up and I stopped and I was like, oh, my God, because I'd never seen something like that. Right. And the way the picture looked, I thought it was a bed of Brussels sprouts with, like, nacho toppings on top. Zoom in further.

Further. So I didn't think it was a crazy order until it came and then you were mad there were chips yes that was the crazy part where i was like why are you mad it doesn't look like there's chips chips are delicious it says gluten-free though why is there an egg or chips gluten yes chips are gluten-free yeah they are you can make things gluten-free by substituting chips for bread. Oh. It doesn't, for the common eye, if you're looking at it on a thin phone, it doesn't look like there's nachos there. I also had the proudest moment I've ever had of Stephen Che.

He's just bragging about his tech. We were at this restaurant. It was a nice restaurant, and it had one TV. I was very proud of Stephen Che. He asked the waitress, he's like, can you put on the Blazers-Bucks game? And I was like, this is a crowning achievement. She couldn't. She didn't.

She couldn't. But I was very proud of you. How about this? Nick and I were chilling. For just being like, that's the max amount of gambling to ask a random game at a bar. Well, I asked if they had league pass and shit. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. What were you doing? Nick and I were chilling with this 22-year-old dude and his friend. Yeah. Come to find out he's the son of Sudsy Monchik. What? The best racquetball player in the world. That's the most important racquetball player in the world.

Sudsy Monchik's son? Yes, yeah. He was here at ASU for an event. From Staten Island. He was just there? Yeah. He didn't even drop it on us. His friend did. He was like, world. Sudsy Monchick's son? He was here at ASU for an event. From Staten Island. He was just there? Yeah. He didn't even drop it on us. His friend did.

He was like, this is Sudsy Monchick. He says, we've got to pull you aside and tell you about my friend. He wanted to keep it down, and he was like, I'll give you one guess. And did you get it? This guy. I'll guess art teacher. What a waste. Because like.

You'll never guess it, yeah. You didn't. We would have never guessed it. This guy is. What's his name? The number one. Sudsy Monchick one racquetball player of all time. Sudsy Monchick. Sudsy Monchick.

Sudsy Monchick. Staten Island legend. And he's the best coach of all time. Oh. So he brings hordes of Ecuadorian and Latino women players to Staten Island. They live with him. They train with him. So he's been a GOAT for generations.

They're very hot. They're the hottest female athletes in the world. Where's Mike? We need Mike. Mike verified it. Oh, Mike knew him. Because we were like, we were at the bar and this's Mike? We need Mike. So Mike verified it. Oh, Mike knew him. Because we were at the bar, and this kid was from Staten Island. He was like, who was it?

I was like, what? And then. I think his name was Sudsy. He was like, Sudsy Monshin. That's where I got the players all fucking time. That's amazing. You can't even go out in Staten Island. And the women in racquetball are the hottest of any.

Wait, no chance. You wouldn't think they're all a team. Volleyball? No. No, it's racquetball are the hottest of any season. No chance. Volleyball? No. It's racquetball. Soccer? Racquet. Beach volleyball?

It's racquetball. Tennis? Indoor volleyball? Ecuadorian. Where's Mike? Mike has some cool age. Can you get Mike? He does. He's getting him.

Jordan 13's fresh. Street volleyball? Sudsy Monchef. Yeah. Oh, look at this. He's still in town. We've got to get him's fresh. Street volleyball? Sudsy Monchick. Yeah. Oh, look at this. He's still in town. We've got to get him on the show. Is this Sudsy?

I'll be goddamned. Look who he's coaching. He's coaching Mike? He's got Mike's legs. SudsyMonchick.com. Does everybody on Staten Island build like that? He's got the same legs as Mike. He looks like he's Mike.

That might be Mike. But Mike said the way Sudsy hits his backhand, it defies. Defies science. He said it defied science. Can we see a highlight? He broke science because the way the ball warps when it's hit, you can't hit it back. What, it's like a knuckleball?

What did Sudsy figure out that the rest of us haven't figured out? Broke the game. Wow. Huh. What a legend. Where was he at? What was the event? He was here.

Yes, you hosted. Well, it was the sun. No, because the sun was here to watch his back. event? He was here. Yes, you hosted the big. No, because the son was here to watch his dad. So Sudsy's here somewhere. Sudsy's around town. Can we get Sudsy on the show? Oh, yeah. He's maybe the most apparent yak guest of all time.

He's a bagel tycoon, too. Yeah, he has Sudsy's bagels over on Staten Island. This guy. I don't know if I can say other information about him. No, keep going. Keep going. The rest I can't even say as if it could possibly get better it does this he warps the ball oh wow this is early ESPN too I can tell by the graphics like Sun T on the show just for the you know they send an email barstool

email like after Super Bowl weeks like here's here's who we had. And it would just say, Yak had Sudsy Monch. Yeah, everybody else. Yeah. Everybody else had these big-name guests. We had the GOAT. Which one is he? Oh, my God. He's Sudsy, man.

How do fans watch this? From above? From the glass. Yeah, from behind. On HBO. Sudsy. Oh! Look at that.

Back wall. Is that Sudsy? I don't know. It's got to be on the left it's he's kind of like blonde this one no oh the other ones oh really no i thought that was him i don't know which one's which no i can't tell it's good yeah i don't even know if he won this particular match but he was a goat for like 10 years he was on top of the sport yeah you guys got to meet his son yeah what a ESPN 2. What a fuck it. I think his son came up.

He's in the Jewish Athlete Hall of Fame. Okay. Fun check. Him and Sandy Koufax? Yeah. Hanging out? And David. The one that took down Goliath?

Yeah. That's true. Is it the same game? That's the three most famous Jewish athletes. Mari Sotomayor. Mari Sotomayor, yeah. Who is the green for the Dodgers? Sean Green.

Sean Green. Hank Greenberg. Brought him up yesterday. Maxwell Jacob Friedman. A lot of play for Sean. Who's that? That's MJF. He's very good.

Never heard of him. Never heard of him. Yeah. It's cold out here, dude. I feel like you were determined to dress like this, and it's cold, but you're like, I'm going to go island vibes. I was here yesterday. I was in the same thing.

You had to get in the pool. We were doing one wet wheel a day. Let's do it. Yeah, all right. You want to do it right now? Right now? I don't know. It's so cold for the rest of the show.

I don't know. I just want to get it over with. Let's just do it. I just want to get it over with. Fuck it. Is your seat wet right now? Because Brandon stood up yesterday in his seat. Steven, why is it such a big deal?

Yeah, well, why are you deflecting? I think there was dew. I think there was dew on the seat. Dew? Yeah, and I think I squeezed it out. I think that's what happened. You squeezed it out? I think you were the one that squeezed out a dew. I didn't.

I was dew. Yeah, you squeezed out the dew. I know, but it was that one. It was the darkest seat. It was the closest to the thing. I want to know more about Sudsy Monchick. There's a lot to that. We should be able to get him here, by the way.

Or Sudsy himself. Tell us the rest about him. Tell us the hidden stuff. If you're going to tell us the good, you've got to tell us the bad. He may have a – I don't want to say. He may have hitters for and against him. What? He's a marksman?

He's like David Ortiz. No way. Sudsy Jr. I didn't say I would do this. Did you say you wouldn't do it? Is he Sudsy Jr.? Nah, we never got his name. Oh, no.

Imagine if he wasn't related. He just walks around telling people that. We chilled with him all day yesterday. Never got his name. Damn. For hours. What the hell? Where did you chill with him at?

The Barstool Bar? No. Is there a chance that he's in witness protection? What if he didn't want people you chill with him at? The Barstool Bar? No. Is there a chance that he's in like witness protection? What if he didn't want people to know where he was? Oh. Sudsy's? No.

He's not. No. He said he flew out. Yeah. Yeah. There probably was paparazzi at the airport. For Sudsy's? Yeah.

This is the safest place for him because we have security out front and there are other satin guys. I think he has a custom racket. Like you can get his name on a racket at any sport. I need it. You need a mod. Never going to play. Yeah, but you've got to get it signed. I need it, yeah.

Get him to sign, like, the webbing. The little one. I can't read it. I can't read it at all. Steven, I like your shorts. Thanks. Swap pants, shorts. I like your socks.

Yesterday you wore black socks. Big Cat made fun of you. Today you're wearing neon green socks. Yesterday I wore Baby Yoda socks my son got for me for Christmas. And today I'm wearing Brady Brand socks. No, I knew. I knew. Oh.

I still said it. Still made fun of him. I mean, black socks with shorts is a... Oh, no. Fasoli's right there. Oh, God. Shit. Fasoli's the king.

He's the king of black socks with shorts. Fasoli's barefoot. It's a tough look. black socks with shorts. It's a tough look. I think it looks weird, don't you? It makes you look shorter. It makes you look like you just took off your suit pants. You're not a Fab Five guy? Those guys were cool, Steven.

Okay. That was also 30 years ago. You're a nostalgia guy over here. That's true. He's right. He's right. Nostalgia guy? He's right. He's right. He's right. Nostalgia guy? He's right.

I like Stephen Chase Super Bowl vibe in general just because he's so excited just about every ball. I got my cool jacket on too. For ball. Oh, nice. Suede. This is the best

piece of clothing I own. Is that members only? Yeah, that's the thing. That's your very best piece of clothing? Yeah. Super Bowl week, you get very excited.

You're like, I'm going to break out my cool clothes. Well, it's also the perfect jacket for this climate because I'm wearing just like a normal outfit but it is very excited. You're like I'm gonna break out my cool clothes Yeah, well, it's also the perfect jacket this climate because I'm wearing just like a normal outfit, but it is very cold Did yours your hoodie have sleeves on it? Yeah? Damn yeah, that is the perfect jacket for this client. It is the perfect jacket They made that for this button on the top or what give us a button. Give us a full zip button

Come on, you're holding out fucking fresh. You're holding out. You look fucking fresh. You're holding out on us right now. You look good. Walk for us. Do some push-ups for us on the table. I actually worked out this morning at the gym and I think I might have hurt myself. Oh no. See it ain't so. What's the injury?

Hold on. Can't do two things. Can't talk and zip at the same time. I turned down the... Oh, he really is barefoot. I'm looking for an address. It's always got thick legs. I don't know. I never bought this before. Oh, jeez. What if it...

What if it strangles you? Yeah, no, that's a great look. Perfect. That looks pretty good. Yeah, I, that looks good. Yeah, no, that's a great look. Perfect. Perfect. That looks pretty good. Yeah, I look cool. Looks like you're hiding a bunch of snacks going into a movie theater. I used to always, once I microwaved popcorn and brought it in a jacket.

That's insane. I was like a freshman in college. I couldn't afford like $6 for popcorn. Okay. But movie prices were great back then, though. I was burning popcorn in my hotel room last night. No that's how you cover up the scents oh you were burning danny brown taught me that you're all the way back on the b eater it is legal you can rip a baby jean did you face the whole you know the i didn't know i didn't know

the extent of the baby jean. It's not aptly named. It's strong. Oh, yeah, because it's got the key from the outside. That'll wreck you. But it's nice for a little dog walk, you know, something like that. It's a short joint. It's tight. I don't understand any of the terminology you guys are using.

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to explain to you. I'm trying to break it down because I saw you wanted to know, but you were curious. Yeah. Acquiring minds. Acquiring minds. Acquiring minds. You brought this up on Barstool Radio last night, but J.J. Watt just being, knowing Stephen Che. Yeah, and Stephen was just like, so J.J. walked out and was like, Stephen, sorry for your loss with the box. And Stephen just stands there.

He had a backpack on, which made it even better. So he's standing there with his backpack. He's like, you know my name? That was maybe the most surreal moment I've had at Barstool because as soon as that happened, you were like three feet behind him. And then I looked at you and I was like, did you tell him to say this? And you're like, no. No, I didn't.

I still don't know. No, I don't. Here's how you know that I did not tell him. Tomorrow we're running the interview. J.J. Watt is like a diehard Frank Fleming fan. Really? He says that he watches Frank's food reviews from Devils games that have like 700 views on it on TikTok.

Which is awesome. Yeah. So he's like, you know that he's in. Yeah. Because I said, I was like, you should come watch NFL Sunday with us, see how the other half lives. He's like, as long as I can sit next to Frank. I was like, all right.

Okay. Done. Done. A buffer, like a sound barrier. And Frank will give it to him, like, you are always injured. Yeah. Three-time defensive player of the year, Frank. Ever won the big one.

Yeah. Ever won the big one. Yeah. You ever think about taking care of your body a little bit better, JJ? The idea of like – He definitely would drop something like that on him. The idea of JJ Watt being like starstruck or nervous around Frank. I'm telling you, Frank, like just in talking to athletes or celebrities or whatever,

Frank is always – he's the most mentioned guy that you wouldn't think is mentioned. Like, being like, I love Frank's content. And it doesn't faze him at all. No. We were joking about it. Like, we will tell Frank when we go back, J.J. Watt's a huge fan. He'll just be like, all right.

I want to remake the J.J. Watt, Darren Revelle video, but with J.J. Watt and Frank. Yeah. Him chasing down Frank. Him chasing Frank down. Yeah, I love it. Frank. Avoiding, Darren Revell video, but with J.J. Watt and Frank. Yeah. Yeah, him chasing down Frank. Him chasing Frank down. Yeah, I love it. Frank. Avoidingly, like, doing that. Yeah, yeah.

That would be friends. Dude, Frank does. He neutralizes all of his opponents. Yep. I think he's like – He's like Seagal. He's like people got to start microdosing him to experience ego death. Yeah.

Because it never goes to his head. And everybody else, if you found out someone really big, even if you're really humble, you'd be like, oh, that's pretty cool. It will go to your head a little bit. Even you, you're very humble, but I bet it went to your head just a little bit. Yes. Wow, that's fucking crazy. Yeah, I called my wife.

But with him, I don't think. What did you say? Do you know who J.J. Watt is? Yes. What'd she say? What'd you say to her? You're like, babe. I was like, guess what?

I was like, J.J. Watt knows who I am. It's crazy. I mean, that was it. What'd she say? She was like, wow, babe. I was like, guess what? I was like, JJ, I know who I am. It's crazy. I mean, that was it. What'd she say? She was like, wow, that's really cool. That's awesome. I love it. I mean, those were great moments.

Yeah. Yeah, it was awesome. I was genuinely pumped for you. That's so awesome. Yeah, big one. What a moment. Big one. It changes how you see yourself, but not Frank.

No. Doesn't even look in the mirror to see himself different. He's a different breed. Do you know how pumped I am for you? I'm not even going to pretend that I set that up. Because I didn't. I don't. But I could.

I know. I could pretend that I did, but I'm not. I suspected that immediately. No, but I didn't. I swear to God I did not. Oh, yeah. 100% swear to God. I know that right now.

He asked me in depth about. I'm in a position right now where I could say that I set that up and you would have to believe that, but I didn't, so I'm not going to. It was authentic because he dropped a Giovanni Bernard. I asked him to do it on camera and he said, absolutely not. Because I was telling him before. Was he good at it? Uh, no. Yeah, because I was telling him before. He couldn't do Giovanni Bernard?

Yeah, I was like, say Giovanni Bernard or JPP. I told him that before. He couldn't do Giovanni Bernard? Yeah, I was like, say Giovanni Bernard or JPP. I told him that before. No. I didn't, I didn't. He was too authentic with his conversation. We talked about the Bucs for a while. I didn't set it up because he was disgusted. He was like, you said,

will you do a Giovanni Bernard with me? He's like, absolutely not. So you know that's real because he's just as disgusted as the rest of us. He's a, absolutely not. So you know that's real. Yes. Because he's just as disgusted as the rest of us. He's a big fan of you. Yeah. I couldn't even pull my phone out of my pocket quick enough

for him to shoot it down. Yeah. If you had your good jacket on, it would have, you would be able to just pull it out like this. I was wearing it. You were?

I'm a pocket guy. I'm a pocket guy, yeah. You're a pocket guy? For my phone. What? You guys keep your phone in your pocket. You're a pants pocket guy.

You're a pants pocket guy. You're a pants pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm wearing a jacket or a hoodie, I'll put it in there. This jacket pocket's the best one. I always lose it then. In a hoodie pocket? You have to get where to put it. Oh, yeah. It's a jacket.

Oh. I love a good hoodie pocket for it. Yeah? No way, you sag too much. Yeah. I don't think you sag too much. I'm already sagging there. Yeah, I guess so.

All right, TJ, you want to spin the wet wheels so we can get it over with? Yeah, I want to spin it. Somebody's going to be fucking freezing the rest of the show. Yeah. I had to sit in the sun. Did it work? Yeah, it did. Do you want to wait to do it then?

No. I mean, we can do it. We can do it now. Do you guys know cactus can't grow at a certain elevation? No. I did know that. Yeah grow at a certain elevation? No. I did know that. 4,000 feet. I can't see it on top of a mountain, so I can't.

Let's put in a picture of that. Actually, if you look over there, that might be a cactus on top of that mountain. No, it's not. That's like a power line. Oh, my God. Cell phone tower. That cactus would be 200 feet tall. That's a 5 200 feet tall. That's a 500 feet tall.

That's a 500 feet tall tower. Dude, a cactus would be invisible to the eye. Look how high that mountain is. Look how far away it is. Steven, that mountain is like 10 miles away. The one on the right? You can't see a single cactus from that far away. If you don't know about perspective.

Zoom in. Can you zoom in? No, they're not going to be able to zoom in and see it because it's so far away. What the fuck? No, but we can see it, though. It's a very large rocket. This is what Stephen thinks is a cactus right up there. On that mountain.

Mountain to the left. That on the right. On top of that. That wouldn't be the biggest. Hear him out. He still doesn't believe it. No, you better hear him out. The one on the right looks like it's green.

It looks like it's green. Stephen, that's so far away. All right. Those are cell phone towers. Is that full zoom? Well, whatever. That was shocking. Yeah.

Well, you can be going up a mountain in Arizona and you see cactus and then they stop immediately at one point. Right. So that, yeah. Pretty cool fact. Interesting. That's a tower. Whatever. Interesting. That's a tower. Whatever. Whatever.

It's pretty dope that... JJ White knows your name. Whatever. Yeah. Bonsai trees throw me for a fucking loop, too. I can't keep one alive to save my life. I know. They have kits.

They have little bonsai kits, and you'd think it'd be nice to have a bunch around. That's what Mr. Belding liked to do. What? I was holding back... He cut bonsai trees to de-stress. I was. In the show? Yeah. Oh.

One time, Zach messed his bonsai tree up. Oh, no. Wow. What happened then? I don't remember. He set up an extra branch. I think there was a radio station contest or something that he lost because of it. I'd have to look.

What was the name of the radio station? Oh, I wasn't a big Say by the Bell guy. I remember certain episodes a lot, but I don't remember every episode. What was the name of the radio station? Oh, I wasn't a big State by the Bell guy. I remember certain episodes a lot, but I don't remember every episode. What was the episode? KKTY Bayside. Okay. KKTY. KKTY.

KKTY Bayside. Nice. That was nice. You guys want to talk about football since we're all over 30? Yeah. Yeah. Is that the rule? I don't know.

I just feel like there's nobody here. There's no one young. It's true. We lost our young guy. You know? No women, no young guys. Yeah. Over 30 guys.

We're just talking football on the couch. Whatever. Our dumps in football. What's this scene in Philly? I think they're excited about the Super Bowl. Really? I'm pretty fired up, dude, from everything I'm hearing back home. Yeah. Yeah.

I was talking to my dad. He said people are pretty excited. Wow. You sure? Good for the town. Yeah, dude. It'll be sick. It'll be pretty exciting. Who do you guys think is going to win the MVP? If you had to guess right now. I would say Mahomes. Miles Sanders.

Ooh. Yeah? Wow. Yeah? That's the first bet I placed. I'm a little nervous, Roan. Steven is very confident in the Eagles winning by double digits. Hell yeah. That makes me nervous. What makes you so confident? It's just the old adage defense running the ball.

They don't have to play perfect to win, and I think the Chiefs and Patrick Mullins have to play nearly perfect to win. I have a theory. I just don't understand. I have a theory. Steven shot this down, but I think that you might agree with me, Ron. Steven watched his team beat Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl with defense. He thinks this shit is easy.

He thinks that, like, yeah, it's pretty simple. Just sack them. Maybe that's it. Job gets done. Maybe just kind of sack them. No, but I realize that their offensive line at that interval of 55 was decimated. Yeah. Now they have a strong offensive line.

Yeah, certainly. But the Eagles can get pressure with four, and they don't have good receivers outside of Travis Kelsey. And the amount that the Chiefs play two high safeties, I mean, they're going to have to completely alter the ethos of their defense if the Eagles are going to keep running the ball. I think the Eagles are going to be able to run the ball. Four and a half yards to carry.

Sneeze. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to talk a little football with the fellas. It was nice. It felt nice. Would you rather be a star tight end or running back as a single man? You're a white guy in this scenario? No. McCaffrey or Kittle?

McCaffrey. Really? Definitely. I think running backs, they don't have a cool job because they're constantly Kittle. Oh. McCaffrey. Really? No. Running backs, they don't have a cool job because they're constantly getting injured. Three yards a carry. But I think they're very appealing to women, though, because they're not all that. Their stature isn't like 6'7". Their career is over.

I think if I could be one NFL player, it would be Tyler Higbee. Why? Yeah. That's what I've always said. You can pull tapes from years ago. Yeah, I guess you could before you even have bars to play. I think he just comes down to whoever's fastest. Being fast is so cool.

What do you think it would be a funner position? But I'm saying, like, if you were a – I don't think being a running back would be fun. Yeah, tight end can be – you've got to block sometimes. You've got to block the ends. Yeah. All right, so what do you think? I think running back.

Being the guy – Getting the ball is fun. There's more glory. There's more You've got to block the ends. Yeah. All right, so what do you think? I think running back. Being the guy. Getting the ball is fun. There's more glory. There's more glory. Yeah, getting the ball. You get the ball like 22 times a game. Right. You're just like, ah.

Your career's so short. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they run you down. McCaffrey's going on for seven years now. In tight end, if you catch. I'm not saying the best at each position. But if you catch touchdown passes at tight end, you're a game changer.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the path to being an all-time great is a lot shorter at tight end. Yeah, they're like, look at this guy. He's a game changer. But even if you are a blocking tight end, you get a touchdown. It's like everybody's – you're a king.

Mercedes Lewis. And you can get lost by the defense, too, if you're a tight end. If you're like the second tight end, you can just be standing wide open a lot. Yeah, it could be sweet. It's probably exciting. Most of them have pretty good flow. Yeah. Tight ends? Good hair, yeah. Who was the tight end that got staffed? Was that Ben Most of them have pretty good flow. Yeah. Tight ends?

Good hair, yeah. Who was the tight end that got staffed? Was that Ben Watson? Kellen Winslow. He got staffed? He got staffed? Or was it Brandon Pettigrew? No, it was your team.

It was the tight end that murdered two people. It was my team. They got hair in their hairs. The entirety of wrestling got staffed. Really? Kellen Winslow. Kellen Winslow got a staff infection so big. Yeah, Kellen Winslow got caught jerking offlow got a staph infection so big. Yeah, Kellen Winslow got jerking off at a Target.

Separate. That did happen. He was swolled up to the size of a soccer ball. Oh, so that's why he was jerking off at the Target? Yeah. Can't blame him. Years later. Oh.

Soccer balls? Soccer balls. Soccer balls. No. Yes. Pull that up. No. I need to see his nuts.

Soccer ball. In pants, of course. Two soccer balls? I think it was one. I think it was one of his staphs. But it wasn't a tumor? No, it was to see his nuts. Soccer ball. In pants, of course. Soccer balls. Two soccer balls? I think it was one. I think it was one of his toes. But it wasn't a tumor? Daniel Powell.

No, it was a staph infection. Really? Yes. I didn't think staph infection affected your ball sack. Sometimes it can. It can get really bad. Yeah. Fact check, grapefruits, not soccer balls.

Grapefruit. Soccer balls are crazy. Ah, grapefruit. Not even a candle. Perfectly healthy men. You could put pants on. Not even indoor soccer balls. You would be able to walk.

I mean, sweepstake with Pat. That's not a soccer ball. He's a grapefruit. He's a grapefruit. It's like a dog's chew toy. Speaking of grapefruits, have you seen that there are... Okay, great segue. I thought you were going to do the high noon ad.

I thought you were going to do the high noon ad. I thought speaking of grape to do the High Noon ad. I thought you were going to do the High Noon ad. I thought speaking of grapefruits was my favorite. No, I'm not going to lie. I love grapefruits. My favorite is actually peach, which is... Mine too. Yep. Good segue. High Noon is a hard seltzer that's made of real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.

It's actually made with vodka and not malt like other seltzers. They now have the big cans. 700 milliliters. That's not actually this one um of peach and pineapple available my favorite flavor is peach i did try the passion fruit yesterday and it's very good i also like the pear which i think is a limited time flavor it's in the tailgate pack the pear is with cranberry okay oh i didn't know they had a cranberry and in the pool pack you get the kiwi and guava which were also limited editions

oh okay well you're just reading the next lines of the ad. I didn't read them, just know them by heart because I'm a High Noon head. He just likes the shit. You did get, I went into your garage at one point and you. Do we have to, I tried to keep this secret for a long time. I'll drop that. What happened? Early on when we were advertising with High Noon, it was during COVID,

but they, I don't, I think they accidentally did it did they sent me an entire pallet of high noon no way high noon than i've ever seen they sent me 300 cases in his garage oh my god and i was giving it away for years yeah oh man yeah i gave every time my sister i had high noon still have any i know because i moved like 25 of your. I had it stacked up. That's incredible. What's the value of it? It was a lot. Yeah, I had a lot of high noon. Like a

counterfeiter with a bunch of cigarettes? It was just a big, you know, it was on a wooden pallet and they just dropped it off at my house. I don't know how that happened, but I had it and I just put it in my garage. I drank a lot of it, but there's only so much you can live with. It's only 100 calories, gluten-free, along with some nachos, I guess. No added sugar, high noon, full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, and lemon.

Limited edition flavors are pear and cranberry in the tailgate pack and kiwi and guava in the pool pack. Look for them at Drizzly in your local convenience store or visit High Noon Spirits to find it near you. That was Brandon, not me. Tell me what this means. Grapefruit. There are some yards in Scottsdale that have grapefruit trees. What? Oh, I can actually see one up there.

I was about to do it. Yeah, that is a grapefruit trick. Has there ever been a grapefruit in an Oscar-winning movie? Ooh, good question. And by good question, I mean, what the fuck? Name one grapefruit that's been in a movie. Yeah, it's for breakfast. Name the movie.

Drug movie. Oh, did the Big Short maybe have someone eating a grapefruit? I knew there was one. I feel like they definitely ate a grapefruit in the Big Short. I feel like Call Me By Your Name had grapefruit. Yeah, it was a peach.

Huh? It was a peach. James and the Giant grapefruit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jared Leto, drug movie. Requiem for a Dream. Requiem for a Dream, there's grapefruit. Did it win an Oscar?

Here we go, what about a pair? Yeah, a pair. No. What, a pair of Oscars? Girls Trip. What about a pair? Yeah, a pair. What? A pair of Oscars? Girls Trip. What's Girls Trip? It's Road Trip. Oh, yeah, with Maya Rudolph.

They went to Napa Valley. Oh, and there's like a bunch of scenes where they... Is that real? It's about sucking dick? There's a movie about sucking dick? The grapefruit. Oh, it's that woman that puts the grapefruit around the penis and just... Yeah, it's...

You remember that? That's a viral clip. Viral. Old viral. Why don't you use a grapefruit as a stand-in for a penis? No, she puts it around the penis and just... That's a viral clip. Viral. Old viral. Why don't you use a grapefruit as a stand-in for a penis? No, she puts it around the dick. And she goes up to the dude with the grapefruit and sucks his dick as the grapefruit drink.

That's an acidic fruit for the dick. Yeah. That gets in your dick hole. That hurts. But it could be cleansing. Yeah. Clean right up. Burn it all out.

Last time you really thoroughly cleaned your dick hole. Every time you piss, I think. Yeah. Clean right up. Burned it all out. Last time you really thoroughly cleaned your dick hole. Every time you piss, I think. Yeah. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah, the piss is shampoo and the cum is conditioner. Yeah, you're right. That's how you do it. How come you guys use...

And then when you get the little fork, that's leave-in conditioner. The fork is always hilarious. You just pee all over the wall. None of it goes in the toilet. fork that's leave-in conditioner. The fork is always hilarious. The two streamer? None of it goes in the toilet. The fork turns me into a toddler. At first you're like fuck, then you're like oh that's fun. You gotta fight through it you really just have to like push through. Yeah. Hopefully it straightens out. It usually does. Whoa! I feel super sober.

What a nightmare would be to fork at a trough. Oh. The guy's shoes next to you, hand next to you. They can't get mad at you because you. Yeah, everyone knows the fork. Yeah. It's a good ass sketch. Yeah. It's a good-ass sketch. Yeah. It's about 10 seconds.

Public fork. Yeah. 10-second sketch. You want to knock it out of the air? You say pull. I'll throw it. You knock it out of the air with yours, all right? Three, two, one, throw.

What? Wait. You say pull. You say pull. Okay. It's a ski shoot. I'm saying pull? Yeah, yeah.

And I'm going to throw it up. All right. Oh. That was awesome, though. I thought we were hitting balls together. Pull. I'm pulling? Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna throw it up. All right. Ah. That was awesome though. I thought we were hitting balls together. Pull. I'm pulling? Yeah, pull.

Got it. Oh, shit. Yes. Yes. Well, it wouldn't, it's a pillow. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

That pillow doesn't do damage. Brandon, I'm sorry I made you ugly. This motherfucker, man. Wait, what happened? I started getting these DMs like, dude, you're really letting yourself go you're ugly as fuck you hills have eyes looking motherfucker

and I'm like okay I get that sometimes but why am I getting so much today and I end up he tells me at the Barstool Bar yeah they let me do the yak thumbnail the rundown thumbnail and I photoshopped your eyes wider apart ever so slightly thumbnail yet run down run down thumbnail and I photoshopped your eyes wider apart like that could be real but it's enough for a little bit yeah I

don't know start doing that to like hold them in like you know hot boys hot boys yeah just a little make them ugly a little bit lightly tiny but that that is You should start doing that to male hot boys. Hot boys? Yeah. Just a little. Make them ugly a little bit. Slightly. Tiny bit. That was barely. The first rendition I did accidentally ended up almost looking like a racist caricature of an Asian.

I'm completely accidental. Right. You're on the Asian couch. You're good. I'm on the Asian couch. Yeah, I'm good. What inspired you to ask for that? You just wanted to...

I saw Fasoli doing it. He had Photoshop up and I had the itch. I was like, you've got to let me in. Let me in. Let me on the keys. Let me in. Yeah. You're creative.

Put me in the game. Yeah. I feel like, though, if you take them far enough apart, it actually becomes, like, oddly attractive. Like, weird-looking, like, supermodel dudes. Right. No, I think... That's what they look like. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Like, supermodels are not attractive in the normal way. They're. They're unique looking. They're terrifying. Yeah, unique looking. You look at them and you're like, I've never seen a person like that.

Yeah. That's what modeling's become. Right. And I think that's one of the. No, it's a fact. The, like, classical signs of attractiveness is, like, eyes not too close together. Yeah. I think that that's, like, something that.

Is it? People look for in attractiveness. Maybe not classical, but it's like subconscious maybe is what I'm thinking of. I've never seen a cleaner end of leg hair than Fasola. What happened there? Did you shave it? Get that. Get that.

It's like Mumbai class divide. That is a clean cut. He's having to shoot his own leg. That's the slums in the suburbs. Yeah, that looks like you cut it. Yeah, dude. That's an aerial view of a flabella. They gerrymandered his leg.

That's like a Voltor. What the fuck? Look at that. He's full of surprises, man. Oh, he really is. I love him to death. He's just been swimming every day. I knew he'd been swimming.

That's why his shoes are off. Are you doing laps? Yeah. What does that mean? Testing my breath. Oh, okay. By yourself? Testing your breath is really fun to do.

Do it at 9 o'clock? Wrap your belly along the bottom of the pool. What, as cold as fuck outside? Yeah, but it's hot underwater. I like testing your breath until you start doing the noise underwater. Yeah. Yeah. I always do it wrong, and I come up and breathe out.

I do too. I'm an idiot. I get out of water, and I'm like, I could have done that underwater. I'm an idiot. I get out of water and I'm like, I could have done that underwater. I'm so fucking stupid. I'm classically dumb. Pretty sweet.

Scottsdale might be top three. I like Scottsdale a whole lot. Really? It's nice. It's laid out like a frizzy golf course.

The whole town is. I was talking to some dude today who's saying how nice it is and then I was like, what's it like in the summer? He was like, it's 100 degrees at night. I was like, oh, that whole town is. I was talking to some dude today. He was saying how nice it is. And then I was like, what's it like in the summer? He was like, it's 100 degrees at night. I was like, oh, that kind of sucks. I kind of like that.

100 degrees at night? But it's like there's no sun. So it's just like kind of hot. Fucking sun? Yeah, no, I. Did you just explain night? Yeah, he did. Wait, how does it work?

I'm baffled right now. That's what it is. Arizona's nice. Like the cool in the morning cool at night is great yeah no i like scottsdale a lot wow what are you what's making you love it what's making you say it's top three um just the the downtown yeah or the old town area where the are very cool is that where the barstool bar is yeah the type of people That strip right there is nice. Very nice. My scene. Barstool Bar is very nice. It is.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like Scottsdale. Arizona people are like L.A. people that did a little more drugs. And got out of L.A. Yeah. More or less? More, I think. Huh.

I just think different type of drugs. Yeah, maybe different type of drugs is a better way to describe it. But they're like adjacent to the Cali, bro. But kind of a cooler. And I think they like their freedom out here. Yeah, more conservative edge. Yeah, conservative, but like, don't tread on me shit. What about it?

Who? Oh. They got the dress code. Who made the choice for the dress code of the waitresses? Why? What are they wearing? Well, it's just.

I didn't notice. It's just. What are they wearing? They're very attractive. Yeah? Yeah. You pissed? No.

Oh, now all of a sudden you don't like tits? What made them attractive? Were they funny? Were they good listeners? They're caring? They're not wearing a lot. Okay. That's awesome.

Imagine complaining about that. Well, I'm not complaining about it. It just sounds like a complaint. It's just different. You know, we have bars in Philly, bars in Chicago, but out here, it's different. Nice for climate. There's hotter people out there. There's no wintertime there.

Yeah. People are more attractive in these climates. That's a fact. It's a great bar. Did your wife catch you looking? Yeah, multiple times. Oh, no. Really?

I mean, how could you? Well, every time they came around, I had to do this. And you can only do that so much. You know, I got an old neck. You did this? Yeah. My waitress only knew me from the top of my hat. I was right behind you as you walked in, and you did a full body 360.

I did. It was alarming. You are. I did. It was it was You are. Alarming. You are. I do like that about you. It's like remember when the World Series when they. Boobs yeah. Yeah you just tweeted boobs. Blind swag going on right now. Got the Ray Charles thing. Yeah. Why don't you wear your sunglasses on your ears? Yeah. Yeah wait what the fuck? I don't know I just put them on my head. They just stick to it. Where are they resting? Yeah those shouldn't be on your face. It's kind of stick to it. Where were they resting? Yeah, those shouldn't be on your face.

They just kind of stuck to my head. They just clamped on the top of his head. Yeah. They're clamped. Pull them down to your ears. You look like Weekend at First. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you wear sunglasses.

That's like, you look way better. That's why you were looking blind, too, I think. Yeah. It's like you couldn't see yourself. That's really better. That's what I did, too, with TJ's. I like this. They were even higher than me.

No, you look blind when you tilt your head up. There you go. Blind as hell. Wait, yeah, he does. A lot of people are always showing tooth. Yeah. I wonder what the sway comes from. Is it just expression?

Well, that's because they're all musicians, right? Yeah. Or mice. No, I'm just saying. Man, bro, no one else gets credit for being blind except for the mice. Yeah. Yeah, true. It's cold as fuck out here.

All right, so spin the wheel, TJ. Let's just get this over with. Yeah, do both wheels. Should we go first? What I want? Eliminator? Very cold. Or just go the first one? Let's do the wet wheel first. Yeah, I know. Say first. first? Eliminator? Very cold. Or just go first?

Let's do the wet wheel first. Yeah, I know. Say first. We did Eliminator yesterday. The hot tub isn't off limits. Yeah. Ew. There's a hot tub here?

Yeah, it's that little guy right there. All the football's in it. But the pool water itself is also quite warm. The pool water is that temperature. It's like the same exact temperature as you. It's almost like a sensory deprivation kind of thing. Eliminator or just first pick let's eliminate we did a dead or alive wheel yesterday ron we all lived except brandon oh no yeah so what are you thrilling when

do we have to die eventually yeah when i die it's because of the wheel so but immortality for every other rest it could be three years before I die at least all right so I hope you don't die Brandon thank you not anybody else hope I don't die I hope you don't die with your current diet you've got at least 10 years left. Steven's coming in with the facts. We're joking around. Steven's like, yeah, you, like, 55 is probably your first heart attack. It'll just be a question of are there medical professionals near you. Which is, yeah, important where you live, you know. Yeah.

You just die in your fishing hole? That'd be the dream. Yeah. That'd be the fucking dream just feed me to the fish would you like dying doing something you love I feel like I wouldn't

I don't think it matters I don't think you get to experience it I only would be pissed if I died during football season if I died like week 8 that would piss me off if you died

yeah like just not knowing the Super Bowl winner that year would piss me off you don't get to do what you're loving like you don't get to finish you don't get to do anything you're dead so you, you don't get to finish. You don't get to do anything. You're dead.

So you'd like to die right after you finish doing something you love? Like, at the end of the Bucs game, just die right after you finish. I want to be absolutely miserable, so the prospect of death sounds like a W. Right. Yeah. Oh. Oh, but wouldn't it just... I want to be like...

How miserable do you got to be? I want to be progressively in graver, graver pain. I want my loved ones to give me permission. It's okay. Yeah, so people at your funeral, it's actually a blessing. Yeah, he was in so much pain. That sounds terrible. Did you think about that before?

Always, yeah. That sounds terrible. That's just the best route, I think. I think it has to be. I don't think it's like, but what if you were burnt? Not like that. But you're suffering in a bed. You're like, you're always.

Not burnt. Why do you keep saying burnt? Yeah, burnt is the worst. Stop saying burnt. That's what I'm thinking. Burnt. There's no way to go, you got burnt. You keep complimenting the guy by saying you're not burnt.

Yeah, that's Jake Bass. He's always on the course. He never comes not burnt. Yeah, that's Jake Bass. He's always on the course. He never comes back burnt. Oh, yeah, he's over there. I did. Never even read it. When we walked back to the hotel last night, he was sitting at the bar, and I was like,

Blattman, what time are we doing rundown? He turned around. Damn it. I mean, from behind. Yeah. Shoulders up. Yeah. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? Make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Spin the goddamn wheel. Eliminator. Wait, Steven, did you release your prop? Nice, Brandon. Fair.

Just check. All right, everyone like it, so Steven will release his prop. Okay, justice. Justice. Justice for Che. Okay. These t-shirts are really big. Justice for KB.

You. I have a bad feeling it's going to be me today. KB, no splash. I think I might go hot tub. I have a bad feeling it's going to be me today. Let's go, Nick. Way to be, Nick. I'm staying dry all week.

Let's go, Nick. I'm staying dry all week. Taking my wallet out right now. Uh-oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, fuck, I go to the finals again. Second day in a row you've been in the finals. I think it's just going to be a bit.

Take it off your leg. Also, it needs to be said, TJ's not out here with us today. He's in the warmth of the house. Yeah. All right, TJ. Fasoli's dude. All right, TJ. Fasoli's dude. Any excuse, huh?

Fasoli, how different would that angle be? You had to go. All right, go, TJ. Dude. Is this best of seven or one? Yeah, best of seven. You could easily fall in right there. And you want your name. Yeah. Took off my belt, too.

Taking off your belt. That watch is waterproof. Waterproof, waterproof. No problem. No problem. One will be wet. One will be dry. All right.

One, one. That's a good narrator voice. Yeah. Thank you, brother. That means a lot coming from you, a guy who also has a great narrator voice. Thank you. Yeah. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. I right, 1-1. That's a good narrator voice. Yeah. Thank you, brother.

That means a lot coming from you, a guy who also has a great narrator voice. Thank you. Have you ever heard that before? 2-1 me. You have heard that before? Yeah. I know.

I think a few people said I have a voice for radio. Well, no. Not a face for radio. OK. A voice for radio. Stop. 3-1? Yes. I believe. Voice for radio. Stop. 3-1? Yes.

Can I survive again? Can I survive again? It's insurmountable. Can I survive again? Shut up, Brandon. Can I survive again? Buy the merch. No.

3-2. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. We're going game seven this year? Yeah. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. Throwing his head. Falled ass head. There it is.

There it is. Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's close. No, it's... Oh, wow. Oh! Holy fuck. Holy God. Yeah, there it is.

There it is. There it is. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Holy God. There it is.

Very nice. Very nice. It survived again. Very nice. Wow. Two game sevens in a row. I was resigned to the fact that I was getting in today. A consummate professional.

I'm staying wet all week too, Nick. What? Oh, no. I was told he's going to fall. Fuck. What's going to to fall in. Yeah. Fuck! Why did I say that? Snack goes on the sticks.

Thank you. Solemn TJ. What's up, Teej? Teej, you want to pull up the regular wheel? Teej, I had my socks off and everything. I was ready to go. Teej's hair looks awesome after he takes the hat off. Next 10 minutes are going to suck.

I feel like a rare. Yeah, it looks slick as hell. It looks like six feet. I was ready to go. TJ's hair looks awesome after he takes the hat off. The next 10 minutes are going to suck. I feel like a rare. Yeah, it looks slick as hell. Slick as hell. Sick. Sick.

Evan Coleman. Do something funny, TJ. Do something funny. You got this, man. You got it, bro. Do something really funny. Hey, no matter what happens, bro, you got this, bro. Yeah.

Don't make a splash. Oh, don't make a splash pencil oh oh god it's just seeing someone fully clothed going in the circle is fun yeah just always fun like how are they gonna get dry doesn't it feel good never will will they ever be dry when you get out Getting wet when you're on a trip sucks because that's wet for the rest of the trip. When it starts to stink. Yeah. Fasoli. Fasoli. You can be standing on the edge.

You don't need to be doing this, Fasoli. Is that an underwater cam? Get lower. Test it out. Get closer. Look at Fasoli's shirt. He wants a reason to pop the top. What is he doing?

He wants a reason to pop the top. What is he doing? Good job, TJ. Good angle. Good angle. Yep. Good angle. Good job. Wow, Fasoli nailed it Good job, TJ. Good angle. Good angle. Yep. Good angle.

Good job. Wow, Fasoli nailed it. Yeah, nice. Nice. TJ. Hey. Way to go, brother. Hey.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Holy God. Oh man. That was ballsy. It was.

It was. That was fun. I wish I'd know what it feels like, but I'm staying dry all week. You are? Same. That's so dope. Same.

What are you guys doing tonight? What's your Arizona plan? I have my nice Valentine's dinner tonight. Did you go to, what's it called, an at Maple and Ash last night? No, I'm going to a really nice restaurant tonight. Don't say it. Don't say it. But I'm going to Valentine's dinner. Did you go to, what's it called, Maple and Ash last night? No. I'm going to a really nice restaurant tonight. Don't say it.

Don't say it. But I'm going to a nice restaurant. So it'll be more of this. Yeah, it'll be more. Yeah. People will just be walking around like this the whole time. I went to like a farm restaurant, farm to table yesterday. I fuck with farm to table.

Yeah. Oh, I fuck with farm to table. It was good. And the guy that owned it was a big time. He thanked me for coming. Thank Barstool and all that. What kind of steak of i got a chimichurri steak oh with the sauce what's the cut though oh i don't know it's like a skirt skirt skirt nice i had the best tortas two nights in a row you did two nights in a row i didn't know i never had tortoise where i do

something with bread wait where'd you go? I had this Uber Eats place. Tortas, yeah. They're so good. You've been eating in the hotel? Tortas. Always. That's depressing.

You need to get some flautas. I was off the jeeter. I couldn't move. Yeah, that's true. So you ordered them? How fast did they come? On delay? 20 minutes.

Off that jeet. Through the window. Damn, you just smoked the jeet in the hotel room? I love these hotel rooms, bro. They're fucking standing. I was lying about that. They're great. Yeah, Danny Brown said he does that,

but I went outside. I love these hotel rooms. Yeah, they're awesome. We're at 2K Lake, so I can pick. All right, say it. I never said it. Why don't you say one of them them and I'll say the other one? Because I'm honestly going to wait a little bit to decide.

There's an injury thing. Okay, I bet both just so everyone knows. Okay. D'Angelo Russell over 18.5 points. Yep. And then the official data pick. Well, I'm going to wait until the injury comes up. But the other one I like is John Moran over 6.5 boards

with Steven Adams out. He's cleared it in the last three. Let's go. Let's go. The variable is there's some weird shit going on with Ja. Wait, Ja's trying to be like a shooter now? He's trying to be a shooter now. He's not trying to be a shooter. Not a shooter. It was like someone in his crew, right? It wasn't him.

Yeah, careful with what word you use. But he's surrounding himself with the Phil Jackson posse. Yeah, you were going to say the P word. That's a Phil Jackson. Why did you say one of his friends? One of his gang. I said one of his crew. One of his childhood friends.

Are the Grizzlies up to something? They've lost eight of nine. They're bad right now. By low. Ever since that Shannon Sharp situation. Yeah. And because Dylan Brooks, what he was wearing after the game, it was weird. It was a little bit goofy. It was like a wife beater tucked in his jeans with a big belt. Did you see Kuz was? Yeah. Yeah. And because Dylan Brooks, what he was wearing after the game was,

it was weird. It was a little bit goofy. It was like a wife beater tucked in his jeans with a big belt. Did you see Kuzma's? Yeah. Kuzma's is incredible. Kuzma's all the time, yeah. That was, no.

That was terrible. The jacket, the puffy jacket in front of his face? I said it looked like when you're, like, climbing Everest, and you have to, like, pull the, like, makes an avalanche. The avalanche. Did you see Kuzma? I didn't see Kuzma. Yeah.

You pulled Kuzma real quick, TJ? It was two or three days ago. Wait, what team? Kuzma's known for that. It was walking into the – I think he scored two points. His outfit coming in. That makes it even funnier.

He's a team player. I have Saturday night. No, but I think he scored two points after he wore that. Friday night. What team is he on? Wizards. I was at that game. Oh, yeah. So you saw it. is he on? Wizards. Wizards.

I was at that game. Oh yeah, so you saw it. It was Friday at Barclays. Yeah. This dude didn't play. Oh, he had two they said. Look at him. He played.

Look at that. This rocks. I kind of want it. I want it bad. I saw the picture. That's cool. It's got to be 10,000. He's known for that.

He had like the sweater that's real crazy. Yeah, he had the big sweater. Yeah. He's a fun little player. I might, like, the sweater that's real crazy. He's a fun little player. If we can find that, I might buy one of those for the whole crew. That would be really cool. Let's see how much it is because I bet that that would cost, like, $70,000. It'd be worth it.

The Eagles win the Super Bowl. I've already spent all that. Yeah, but it's nice to have that. I've just been telling everyone, like, Eagles win the Super Bowl. You're getting this. You're getting that. It's gone. Yeah. Still, though. But that's getting that. It's gone. Yeah.

Still, though. But that's how you just got to live. Yeah. I mean, that's what. You're doing it to be right more than anything. Yeah, right. It's to be right about your long shot. Think about if you're going to the Super Bowl for free, Roan.

You could be going to the Super Bowl for free. That's confirmed happening. Yes. Roan, Max, and Memes are all going to the Super Bowl and buying three tickets. And if the Chiefs win, they all have to pay me back. And if the Eagles win, completely free. What is the approximate cost of a ticket? It's like six grand each.

But that's the highest of highs. And also, right, why wouldn't you? Well, they lose. No, no, no. The highest of highs is good. You see your team win a Super Bowl for free. Yes. There can't be a better feeling in the world. And I already told Max, I was like, if the Eagles win,

you guys gotta go party, and he'll call into PMT. If the Chiefs win, you both have to march your ass back here. I want him to cry. I will make him cry. It'll be the worst night. Yeah.

It'll be the worst night of his life. Yeah. That's gambling. Yeah. That's a gamble right there. I was like, I want tears. Will you have the best night of your life or the worst night of your life? No, that's what Max said himself.

He's like, this will be the best or worst night of my entire life. It's thrilling. And we can't just dig into pocket to pay back. And you can't be guilt-tripped into not accepting the money yet. I already said that because I know that – I know people will try to be like, dude, what do you care? It has to be real. Part of the –

It has to be real. You might need cash, to be honest. Because I bet you there's even a small part of Max right now is like, if the Chiefs win, he won't make me pay. No, I have to do it. You have to. I have to. It's only right.

What? I was going to say, is this your way of hedging a little bit? But no. No. It's anti-hedge. No, I'm giving away some of my winnings. Yeah, he can only lose. He gets nothing from this.

Right. That code is $4,000. $4,000. I just get the money back for the tickets. $4,000? Oh, we might have to do it. No, a little bit, because if the Eagles win, you're up 200 minus the cost of the tickets. But then if the Chiefs win, then you are more than made whole from your original bet.

No, because he already paid for the tickets. I'm paying for the tickets myself. Just get his money back. It's not like he double gets that money back. Yeah, but if the Eagles win, then it just comes out of your profits. Correct. That's why I'm doing it. Just so we're clear, I wouldn't be doing it. Just so we're clear,

I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have that bet. Yes, exactly. What do you think you're proving? I don't know. I feel like I'm somehow in the wrong here. If the Chiefs win, I've lost. Because he's spending the money now. I'm just getting the money back that I already spent.

But I still lost the bet. You'll get back to zero. Yes. No, I'm actually right here. Because you would have won so much money that it's like, all right. Is that a four-foot man? There's a four-foot man up on that mountain. That big thing at the top.

Yeah, I can see all the features of his face. If the Chiefs win, I don't get anything. You will get the money back from these guys. But that's nothing. He already spent that money. It's the money back. Yeah. It's the money back. I realize that get anything. You will get the money back from these guys. But that's nothing. He already spent that money. It's the money back. Yeah. It's the money back.

I realize that. Right. But if the Eagles win, you already are getting so much money, and you have spent that, so that's a sunk cost. But if the Chiefs win, you are actually getting refunded a little bit of money back. But it's money I spent. He hasn't spent that money yet. I'm about to spend it.

I confuse myself. I think I to spend it. I confuse myself. I think I'm right, Brian. I don't... You're not right. I don't know what you're trying to say. The most correct thing the Yak ever stumbled upon is Stephen Shay being smart presenting. Yes. And just not a smart person. We were fooled by glasses and heritage.

He's just smart presenting. Holy fuck. Yeah, like if you lined us up like who's the smartest guy in the act? he's just smart presenting holy fuck yeah like if you like lined us up like who's the smartest guy in the ass no no

this was very early on in barcelona because i was sitting like in the way left of the third floor but um i remember uh

my row was like loud sean pete like that fucking asshole resnick some other people and um i remember My row is like Loud Sean, Pete, like that fucking asshole Resnick, some other people. And I remember someone was asking like, who's the smartest person?

And all business Pete was like, well, and Loud Sean were both like, well, you're probably the smartest, right? And I was like, nope, not even close. Not even close. But that's a smart guy answer to say you're not smart. Yeah. Sneakily, so maybe you are, actually.

Fact. If I saw you on, like, a shorter school bus, I'd assume you were, like, engineering it. You were building it. Oh, my God. All right. So, yeah, let's spin the wheel. Then we got to get out of here because we got to go do an interview. Yeah, we do.

We got to go do an interview. Lane Johnson. Whoa. Yeah, Rona's going to come for vibes. He's going to come watch. For vibes. He's going to come gas him. Tell him how he's the greatest.

Maybe rub his groin a little. All right, let's try. You should rub his groin. Whatever he wants. Okay. Literally whatever he wants. All right, we'll be back at it tomorrow. And then tomorrow, by the way, right after, it is mini golf. Ah.

Which is going to be great. Nick is on the call. And Rone is as well. Roving reporter. Is that confirmed? I'm sideline reporter? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, you are. And I'm going to be dishing it to you

a lot. There's nothing you can do. You also have Jerry Cam, which will be good. Okay, yeah, I can dish it to Jerry's my caddy, and I said that we should have a GoPro on him, because I know that if you go to Jerry Cam, he's be good. Okay, yeah, I can dish it to... Yeah, Jerry's my caddy, and I said that we should have a GoPro on him because I know that if you go to Jerry Cam, he's just going to be, like, mumbling to himself, not doing anything.

Yeah. Which will be good. Or looking at something. Nah, that's a night move. Nah, come on, let's put a cheetah. All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. See you tomorrow. We'll be right back. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act.

Watch Barstow Live tonight. Goodbye.