The Yak - Steven Chea Finally Get His Hanging Wedgie || The Yak 6-1-22

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

Chea gets his wedgie and prank calls are back.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hey? Hello? Hey. The Yak. What's up, boys? What's up, homie?

How's... Whoa. What was that? I wanted to say homie. That didn't sound right. Oh, good. What's up, homie? How's everyone doing today? Good. Who are we missing? Nick and Kyle. Nick and Kyle. Nick and Kyle. You guys have been missing a week and a half?

Oh, Jerry. Where's Jerry? Jerry can come in and Kate can come in if they want to, although Stavros is here. He's going to come in later. Halkias. Y'all want Kate? Or Jerry.

I don't have Jerry. Yeah, I do. I just met him for the first time. He's Stavros. How's everyone doing? Steven doesn't want to do a hanging wedgie today. Why not? Being a bitch.

No, I said, yeah, I'm going to Topgolf tonight, and we don't have the full logistics. Oh, we have the logistics. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You going to Topgolf tonight shouldn't supersede the wedgie. I had plans. I was hoping to do it tomorrow. We don't have it fleshed out.

We all have plans at like 3 o'clock. If we get wet, we get wet. 30 seconds ago, we were just talking about what we're going to use. We said we should go to Home Depot and do something. I said we should just use the barbell from PMT. What the fuck? That thing is sick. Holy shit.

Wait, move it side to side like that. Yeah, dude, it's so good. It's a tactical warrior. Does the military use this thing? How come he never points anywhere but me? Okay, point it somewhere else. How sick is this thing? It's pretty sick.

You do that in the hall, though? You do whatever I want. Well, I think we should... Look, watch this. Ready, ready, ready? Watch this. Let's do a flip. No,, I think we should. Look, watch this. Ready? Ready? Ready? Watch this. Yeah. Let's do a flip.

No, wait. Look at that. What? Oh. What? Steam coming out of there. That is so sick. It just shoots little bullets at Brandon's little tiny legs.

Who's it going to go after? Light me the fuck up. Oh! Did you see that? I just shot back at it. How awesome is this thing? What is that? I forgot when...

Come on, give me a taste. So... No, I don't... Wow, you're real close. Yeah. Sass was about to be cool for a minute. You're way closer to me than everyone else. Oh, no. Oh, no! He unplugged closer to me than everyone else. Oh, no.

Oh, no. He unplugged it. He turned the TV off. Oh, my God. You didn't do any training with it, huh? There's nothing coming out. Yeah, I think it's out of balance. Shooting blanks.

Giving it the all-business Pete special. How sick is this thing? So when we had our pelt gun off and then the uvalde thing happened which was terrible horrendous we were like all right maybe we shouldn't be shooting like toy guns all day i'd forgotten i ordered this last week then it came how sick is this thing it's fucking incredible that's like a top tier toy. It really is. Incredible toy. Watch out boys. It can go over anything. I don't really have the

Wait. Just turn the TVs off. You're all over it. I just turn the TVs off again? You're just hitting the cords and knocking them out. You're just running all over the thing. That is fucking sweet though. Let me get the guns in here because I didn't get to play with them. I think it's out of bullets.

I got to get more bullets. Thing is so sick. It did look fun as fuck when you guys were having that fun. I want to play. Can I get a clip of that coming out of the little area over there? I want to see it with the lights off. Because I bet the steam looks so sick with the lights off. Oh, yeah.

That steam is awesome. Look at it. It's got that red light. You might want to turn it off, though. It's probably bad for the ozone layer. What's the point of the steam? Just to look badass. Sick. I mean, look at it It's got that red light You might want to turn it off though It's probably bad for the ozone layer What's the point of the steam? Just to look badass Sick

I mean look at it right now It's tear gas It's still steaming Oh yeah look at that And it's steaming It's just a wake in a beast Thing is sick Can go any sides too

What's the noise? Distraction Just noise that you can make on it That's fucking sick Beast. Thing is sick. Can go any sides, too. What's the noise? Distraction. Just noise that you can make on it. That's fucking sick. This thing is... Do I have to buy one of those? I might have another one. Does that mean you do have another one?

Might have multiple more. I have a whole fleet of them. That would have been awesome. All right, I'm going to turn it off. Get back to the show. You got to put a mic on that thing. This probably has some good-ass opinions. Yeah, it does.

Dude, I was listening to a podcast yesterday about fucking robot influencers, like AI influencers, and it's just people who are, or it's like fucking AI accounts that are just fucking like models for brands and shit. What? Instead of human beings being, like instead of Bella Hadid being the model for a brand, they're just hiring a fucking AI to do it. What do you mean?

There's like AI influencers. But how can the AI be a model, though? It's an artificial model. An AI influencer. It's just like a fucking robot that's taking over. Spider, thank you. I got name tags, too, for the interns, if we want to have some interns in today.

It's in the bag. They've got to wear name tags for like a week straight because I learn all their names and they're all the same. It's like there's like a Sam, a Cam. I would say a month. Cameron, a Dawson. There's so many Dawsons every year. Dawson, yeah. We just met

one. Their name's Beeman. Let's get him in here. That's not going to work. I know. We'll get him a new name. Beeman Let's get him in here That's not gonna work I know We'll get him a new name Yeah we'll get him a new name You don't want Beeman? You see Beeman

Look at this 3 million followers And it's just a fucking AI Are they hot? I mean You see Beeman by the way It's not a real person Yeah I saw the comment

Did you see her comment? Yeah She said after our jersey day By the way I i went i went around the block and i was like i hope he has more jerseys because i'm addicted i asked him today too yeah i was like i'll buy all of them again but uh beeman was like these are 12 guys i feel comfortable like uh what was the exact comment these are the only 12 guys i feel safe around feels like an insult such an insult yeah dude we were getting

flamed on twitter you know who's you know who's catching it TJ we always get flamed like that post has like 300 quote retweets

and everyone yeah we're fat ugly idiots half of our job is for people to just make fun of us you were getting crudest

I won the 1997 slam dunk contest you did in high school you did yeah Brandon now you can't even touch the net

I can touch the net oh that's the net. I can touch the net. Oh, that's true. Barely. Barely. I can touch the net. By your size? I can scrape the net. How's that going, by the way?

You're trying to dunk? Weren't you supposed to dunk by this month or some shit? No, I just started the program. I just started my personal trainer yesterday. That's a great squad. You love goals. I do. Yeah, you do.

I love goals, and I love giving up on them. That's a good-ass crew. Also, I'm the new Ricketts guy now. Nick leaves town for one fucking... Oh, yeah, what is with your leg there? Oh, no. It's skinny as fuck. Kevin Durant has skinny legs.

It's okay. Your arm and your leg don't match. Your arms are double the size of my thigh. We should give... When Stav comes back in, let's find the Karl Malone jersey and be like, it's just what we do. Every time someone comes on, we give him a jersey. Yeah.

Give him the Karl Malone jersey. I lead the league, by the way. And this little fucking thing of buying shit on Amazon and forgetting I bought it. I get so many boxes and it's like it's like Christmas every day. Awesome, though. Yeah. Yeah. Because I just I had completely forgotten I had bought this.

I think I'm taking a stand against Jeff Bezos any time I don't order something on Amazon. You then end up like, I do the opposite. I will go to a website, try to buy something, and be like, let me just search for this brand on Amazon because it's got everything set up. It'll be there tomorrow morning. Right, and it's also

got all my information. I don't want to fill out more information. Dude, our producer for Son of a Boy Dad, Tyler Miller, who also does a lot of stuff on this show,

he said he worked at an Amazon warehouse before and he said that people would just get picked off like fucking popping for drug tests, fucking getting fired every single week.

Wait, where? At an Amazon warehouse. It sounded like the most interesting job in that it sounded fucking terrible. Yeah. It sounded soul-crushing. Everyone says it is. Yeah.

It's wild. Tyler's a fucking real one. Mm-hmm. Tyler's a YG. See, there's an Amazon movie coming out. About what? About Bezos. Really?

I think it's probably he made it because it makes him look awesome propaganda i mean the social network makes mark zuckerberg look so sick yeah that's true that movie was awesome it does then it turns out that it's like not even true what part well there was a social network it's like 19 and he built facebook wait but what parts were not true oh apparently like a lot i think he wasn't happy with how they made him look with the Winklevosses. Yeah, in real life. Oh, but like the Winklevosses. They were actual twins, not a clone of them.

Yeah, that's true. They weren't nearly that handsome. Winklevosses, like, do you think, have they finally been like, hey, maybe we're okay with the fact that it all shook out this way? Like, they're billionaires and they don't, they own like 2% of all Bitcoin? I don't know, they're billionaires and they don't, they own like 2% of all Bitcoin? I don't know, they're rich as fuck though. Right, like at some point

can you just be like, alright dude, you guys lost this one. Also, if they invented Facebook, they would have invented Facebook. Yeah, it's the best line of the movie.

Fucking Eduardo, dude. It's true. That's a broad bastard. You can't just have an idea and be like, I created it. But what's fake about it though? I don't understand

what they're saying is fake about what's his name. I don't know. I just know I've heard that there's some misinformation in it. Duardo Savarin? That fucking stud, dude. What a stud. So let's wedgie this fuck. Yep.

Hey, I don't want to see you get wedgied. I'm going to get wedgied I'm fully down for that So when do you want to do it? Tomorrow Why tomorrow not today? You're like my son I'm going to Topgolf tonight The golf swing doesn't use the asshole at all

It's not going to hurt you At all You're like my son I'm trying to potty train him And every day he just goes I'm like you want to use the potty? He's like tomorrow And he's just been doing that every day He just goes, I'm like, you want to use the potty? He's like, tomorrow. And he's just been doing that every day.

He's a fucking genius. We can do it tomorrow. It's not a big deal. Okay. I mean, yeah, I guess if we're using the bar, I guess my fear is that if we were using a broomstick or something, it would break because I'm 200 pounds. But you're light. You're not strong. If we're using the barbell.

So logistically, and this is what I was trying to talk about yesterday. Let's do it tomorrow. Can we do it tomorrow? Steven was sending emails that were like, he was basically asking Pete to create a structural engineer. Oh, you're taking Pete's side now? Yeah. I told you for the beginning. For the record, you're taking Pete's side. Okay.

Yes. Wow, he's angry. For the record, I am, because I told you from the beginning, it's the easiest contraption ever. But you were talking about doing it. That was after I sent that email. And I said we should just use the barbell or whatever, the bar. Yeah, but you wanted us to lift you up. How do you think I'm getting on there?

I don't know, but I was like, I'm not going to make this a punishment of myself where I have to lift you up. Well, we're going to have to. No, we're going to put it in the fucking stairway. And then he's going to hang. He's going to crawl over it. He's going to have to wedgie himself. I'll show everyone right now. I'm going to lead from the front.

Ready? Watch. Keep it on that. All the YouTube videos are what he's describing. Basically, somebody affixes himself to a pole and then you take away the support system. So you're like hanging yourself. Hanging with a rope. Not with a rope, no. Like a similar presence.

A caboose noose. Does that smell like candy? What is he doing? Yeah, it does smell like candy. Big Cat's doing something. So he's got... He's saying you wedge a piece of wood in between the two. Right, you wedge a piece of wood.

Okay. We can't afford Big Cat to get hurt here. He's saying you wedge a piece of wood in between the two. Right. You wedge a piece of wood. Okay. Okay. We can't afford Big Head to get hurt here. I think we're going to have to let him. I think it would be fine if he did. That's going to be way harder. It would be that piece of wood, though. It's going to hurt a lot more for you, Che.

That's a hurling stick. Che, you're going to have to pull your underwear out and jump onto the thing. Right. Just land on your ass. See what I did? Tell me the flaw in my my thinking i don't see how i don't fall off that well yeah you're gonna fall off we can somebody can be there to to make sure you don't fall on the ground sure i think falling on the ground is the least of your worries it's like four look at that see i'm showing you you're gonna go right through there, and then you're going to climb.

I was worried I wasn't. So he's going to have to wedgie himself. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Correct. I think it'd be easier if we just lift him up and wedgie him. That's not a hanging wedgie, but I would be cool with just wedging our boy. No, no, no, like lifting him up onto the thing and then placing him there. Kate's here.

Come on in, Kate. That's what I was thinking is like you guys give me a wedgie, put me on the thing and then placing him there. Kate's here. Come on in, Kate. That's what I was thinking. You guys give me a wedgie, put me on the thing, and then on the other side, you lift me up like a seesaw. You were in the military. Did you guys ever hanging wedgie somebody? I've been hanging wedgied. How's the best way to do it?

You got to have at least two people on either side, and you tuck underneath. Oh, no. Hold on. Hold on. two people on either side and you tuck underneath yeah oh no but we okay hold on hold on we should have we should have specified we want a hanging wedgie with him but none of us want to have to do any work right we don't have to do it i don't want to have to lift him okay okay okay i'm gonna i'm gonna tell me you tell me what your idea is but quick, I'm going to put a barbell through the railings, and then he's going to hang himself. Yeah. I was going to say use a pallet or something to lift him up and then remove. Yeah. The pallet, yeah.

Oh, like the man hanging and there's a puddle underneath him? How did he die? Right. It was an ice pick. The plane is called a cabin. The doctor was a woman. The doctor was a woman. That one trips me up all the time.

I actually had the reverse happen today. I have to take my dog Stella to the vet. She has to get IVs every week because she has kidney disease. I talked about it. Whatever. Dogs, they age, whatever. But I called up the vet, and there's a dude there who's one of the vets who I've like gotten in arguments with he's a total dick like my dog's dying And he's a dick about it, and they were like all right. Do you want to see this doctor or this doctor?

I was like which one is the woman and like that like you probably thought like I was gonna be misogynist I was like I'll take the woman yeah, yeah, so I felt you know pat myself on the back on that Yeah, right another option is like Steven, pat myself on the back on that one. Oh, good. That's progressive as fuck. Yeah, right? Yeah. Another option is, like, Stephen Chay just is on the, like, the third or fourth step, and we all, like, take a two-handed grip of his underwear, and he just kind of jumps forward, and we just are holding on to him as he is kind of suspended or something like that.

But that has a chance to knock us all down steps. And every now and then, they bring up huge pallets of, like, 50, 60 things of like high noon or whatever. A forklift. We lay him flat in the ground on the ground. That would be awesome. It slides into his under britches. Yep.

Under pants. I assume you wear Walter White. Uh-huh. And it. No. Yep. You're going to have to make sure you wipe your balls extra hard that day. Right.

Because there will be poop stains. I'm down for it. I just want to figure this out logistically. And that's what I was trying to do yesterday. I want to just wing it. I'm okay with you guys just lifting me up and doing it. Can we nail a coat hook into the wall? Yes. That's what I was trying to get Pete to say.

So Pete washed his hands of this? He did. And then afterwards he said I don't want to have any sign off on it. He was mad I put him on the email. You're angry at Pete. I was in a meeting. I think let's just do it right now. I was in a full conference room today of eight people.

And we were trying to put, I don't know if you guys have been to the upstairs rooms where there's a screen that plugs in. The screen wasn't working. And Pete walked by. And he was like, oh. And I was like, hey, can you fix this? Pete he was like oh and I was like hey can you fix this Pete was like oh I think it's like unplugged or whatever he worked for five minutes under the table nothing happened and then he

just like silent like snuck it like Homer Simpson into the bush out of the room and never fixed it I kind of respect that type of laziness yeah let's just do it right now yeah let's just use it you know what I'll sit on this paddle oh okay I think we could do it right there I don't we actually do it on the sit on this right here with no the thing right where your coffee's on

What like you sit on that? We're gonna be standing we're doing the hanging wedgie below your waist How would you hang from a three foot what? Why don't we do it out there? Someone will stay in here and give... Hey, you guys talk. Steven and I will go out there. Brandon, maybe you come for...

You don't want to use the barbell? So that he thinks that he'll be safe, even though don't catch him if he falls. Yeah, the barbell. All right, I'm going to tweet that we're going to do... We have a bench press bar, which would seem like the most sturdy thing that we have. Right. Which was my suggestion. It's going to roll if there's no catch to it, right?

No. How are we actually getting my underwear on whatever? And what happens if we fail the final time? I feel like Kate should come out and like... What if we show him the view and hang him off the balcony? Okay, here we go. Brandon and Steven, meet me out there. You guys narrate.

This is going to work. Okay. Brandon is walking out of the room. He looks very fat. This counts. She has to narrate. She has to narrate. He's extremely pale.

Weird body shape. Like long calves. Weirdly long calves. But with no muscle. Yeah, not an ounce of muscle on them. Okay, I'm going to shift. Yeah, give a little rotate. You can see as well.

Okay, they're fiddling around by the giant golf ball and the rocket. We got to get a zoom camera. Steven's shoulders look a little hunched. Yeah, because it seems like he's not into it. It seems like he has no enthusiasm about his own hanging wedgie. Big Cat has gone. He's up on the landing of the stairs. I think that thing is going to snap in half.

I don't think so. That's a hurling stick, right? Hurling stick, yes. Hurling. What's hurling? It's like a mix of field hockey meets rugby meets soccer meets baseball. It's like they throw it up and hit it really far, and then they can also balance it on the stick like a lacrosse baseball it's like they throw it up and hit it really far and then they can like also balance it on the stick

like a lacrosse type run yeah I wonder why that didn't catch on in the United States but fucking feminism did right it's the stupidest things that

it doesn't fucking make sense I know it doesn't make a lick of sense how long do we have to keep them up there I think just I think it's two to three minutes his ass bleeds or something

did you guys see the hanging wedgie in the new jackass movie no I didn't see the new Jackass movie? No, I didn't see the new Jackass. It was funny. Look at these people. These people are guests, and they just gave up. Three, two, one, jump.

Oh. Oh. The physics of that are incredible. You know what the big fear is? Getting your balls pinched in the side. When I played rugby, there was this urban legend that this guy had dislocated his leg playing, and when they went to pop it back in,

they accidentally got his ball sucked into his socket, too. That was... I don't know if that's true. That could happen. He's really doing it. What do you think that balls are like Kate? Like two You gotta take the belt off

Marbles Lost in a sea of putty Yeah They kinda are They're in there somewhere Did you know balls Are the one of the only places In the body

If you I could like grab balls right now And squeeze them with all my might And they won't really hurt The skin between them Oh yeah It's like your elbow skin. You can really go down.

I don't know if that's going to happen. Not the ball itself, though. Steven is on the chair. The gallows. Any last words? His feet are on either arm of the chair. Brandon Walker is using his heft for support of the chair.

Big Cat's holding the stick. His pants are fully on. I'm confused. We might need someone else to help. There he is. Security coming through. Oh my god, I think he's already strapped in, is he? Is it going to be fun to watch if you can't see the underpants?

I think we should get a zoom camera. I'm sorry, I'm very confused. Can we take his pants off, Kate get a zoom camera. I'm sorry. I'm very confused. Can we take his pants off, Kate? No, his pants are fully on. I'm so confused. Is he about to go? He's about to go. Look at his bulge. You can see his bulge. Oh! Oh!

He just stood down. Again! That didn't count. That can't count. Wait, look, wait. Wait, look. His underwear is still attached to the stairs. Is it?

He's standing on the ground. This is why we need to go higher up. Wait, isn't it? Yeah, he's still locked in. He's just standing. How does his underwear have that much stretch? Oh, my God. What?

What? What? I can't do it. Oh, my God. Wow. What? I'm going to receive it and just keep it on the high. Have you no dick and balls, Stephen Chet? Has he no dick and balls? Is he completely devoid of a dick and ball?

Turn around. Turn around. Oh, my God. How? Get him marched in like he's a shotgun wedding. Oh, it ripped. His underwear ripped. Oh, it totally ripped. To quote Owen.

Have you no dick and balls? Brandon, step aside a little bit just so we can see. How high up is that on you right now? Very high. It's up in your asshole? Into the mic. The legs are up there. What's your dick and ball split?

Where's your split for your dick and balls? Are they to the left? Is it right down the middle? Are they all in the center? Oh, that's awesome. How was it? Good job. How was it? Wasn't that bad? Oh, damn. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. How was it? All right, good job. How was it?

Wasn't that bad? Into the mic, into the mic, mic, mic. Well, it wasn't bad because they broke. You have to sit with your underwear like that for the rest of the episode. He had tearaway pants. That's a lot of work on me. That was, no, it was me too. I was holding as hard as I could.

I think that was. I hurt my finger. Oh. I squeezed my finger in there. Bleeding. You guys all right? Yeah, I'm going to be all right. Bray, are you all right? I mean, I think that was my finger. Oh, I squeezed my finger in there. Bleeding. That's all right. Yeah, I'm all right. Are you all right?

I mean, I'm not great. We're the ones that I feel like it was on you guys. Way worse on us. That was a punishment for us. Did the stick break? No, we're going to sell the stick. No, because I have fucking strong ass. Well, thank you.

Yeah. Arms and held it down. I'm bleeding now. How do you feel about that? It's all for all for the show. Let's get Pete in here. Tell him I'm bleeding. It's a coward. He wouldn't do it. Ble'm bleeding now. How do you feel about that? It's all for the show. Let's get Pete in here. Tell him that I'm bleeding. It's a coward. Because he wouldn't do it. Bleed on him. Get him close. How are you feeling?

We should redo it and have him go from top to bottom. Let's redo it. He wasn't hanging. There wasn't a single second you were suspended on your own. There was. It's tough. I'm several feet off the ground. If he's not holding me, spend it on your own. There was. For sure? It was tough. I'm several feet

off the ground and like, if he's not holding me, I just fall completely down. Let's let the Yak listeners vote if we have to redo it. I think we can do it. No way.

My under was broken. Why? They're fair. You hate democracy? They're very fair. This is going to take a little bit. He's wearing a Buccaneers belt

by the way. Always. Always. Oh my God. Can you see the front of that? Always. Did it get fucked up? I thought it was way up.

I'm seeing everyone saying redo, so we got to redo it. We got to redo it. It wasn't. Redo it tomorrow? I thought he was hanging. He wasn't hanging? It didn't look like it. There was a hang.

Knowing how it went. It's really about the humiliation. You want to try your original idea and hang from this desk? Yeah. If that is better. I see the replay. Because I'm too heavy to be suspended. That's not going to hold me with underwear holding me.

I was picturing him from a flagpole. I want his underwear off. I want to fly him at half-match. No. All right, we'll do it again tomorrow. How is this done without the underwear ripping? Get some better underwear. Yeah, better underwear.

Do you go cheap on your underwear? You just got to wear a thong. Come back with a thong tomorrow. Yeah. Let's get some Hanes. More sponsored underwear for the- You used one point of hold. I only have sponsored underwear.

If you have multiple points of hold- Oh, good point, Kate. It evens out the pressure on the underwear band, and it can survive. So you need two sticks. You need two sticks. All right, we'll do it again tomorrow. No, absolutely not. No, let's let people vote.

We can use that as a future punishment. There's a poll in chat. All right, there's a poll. You need two sticks. All right, we'll do it again tomorrow. No, absolutely not. No, let's let people vote. We can use that as a future punishment. There's a poll in chat. All right, there's a poll. I served my time. Let's see the poll. I served my time. The poll. Let's see the poll, please.

I served my time. Please don't silence our listeners. They're the reason why we do this show. Oh, 90. Shout out to the Chehov. Wow, eight people. There are more people saying no than fall asleep every time they get a haircut. Wait, what?

Percentages wise. Running back to hits. Now we're definitely. Oh, yeah. Now we have to do that. There was a moment. It's been a few days. You don't do that, right?

It ripped almost instantly. Yeah. No, because he was holding me a little bit. That's where things start to look a little rough. That's where things look rough. Very rough. Oh, yeah, and that's where it just failed. You had a smile on your face the whole time.

Yeah, it was a fail. It was a fail. It was a fail. That's all right. We tried. Listen, we tried. We failed. We'll do it again tomorrow.

I think you got to be, your feet need to be at least like four feet off the ground. I was probably three feet. I mean, I weigh 200 pounds. It's physics. I mean, that is kind of a hanging wedge right there. I mean, look at that. That's pretty bad. That's pretty bad.

You're right. That's pretty bad. But we're going to still have to do it again. I think it was just because he was smiling the whole time, which was good. It's funny. He's going to smile regardless. I know. It's true. If we waterboard time, which is good. It's funny. He's going to smile regardless. It's true. If we waterboarded him, he'd smile. If we did anything, he'd smile.

I did volunteer for that, but that was a long time ago. Okay, we'll do it again. It's not a big deal. We'll do it again tomorrow. That counts. Shout out to the 57 Nose. Here's what we'll do. If the poll can, by the end of this show, be under 80%, yes, I'll let you off the hook. I did. Before I went in there, I under 80%, yes, I'll let you off the hook.

I did it. Before I went in there, I said on the mic, I said, this counts. This is a one-shot deal. I did. I ripped my underwear. I'm bleeding. Okay. I'm sorry that happened.

Zoom in on this, please. We went through that hardship. Zoom in on this. I'm on your side on this, but nobody wants to do this less again than me. Look at that blood. That's blood right there that you made me bleed. Did you bleed? I thought nobody makes you bleed your own blood. Nope. Steven made me bleed my own blood. That's blood right there that you made me bleed. Did you bleed? I thought nobody makes you bleed. I don't know.

Nope, Stephen made me bleed my own blood. Yeah, just give us a single dude wipe. Stephen, I bled and you didn't. That was a punishment for me. We're not sure. Yeah, see? You don't know my hemorrhoid situation. They were just popping like grapes.

All right. Stephen, you're dismissed until tomorrow when we do it again. Absolutely not. Bring an extra pair of underwear tomorrow. What are you going to do? Are you going to wear that for the rest of the day? These are my clothes. Did you have a backup? I did have a backup. Oh!

See, I think he strategically did it. I think he went and was like, let's do it tomorrow. No, I do not want to. We'd make him do it today. He wore underwear that he knew was going to Hulk Hogan. This is one of my best. We got set up. I think he did it. I think it's over.

We got set up. There's no way for me to have cooperated. You know, there's only one way to decide this. We got to spin the wheel again. We don't spin the wheel for any other punishments. No, we got to spin the wheel again. We will tell us if you are complete or not. We didn't spin the spin the wheel again. The wheel will tell us if you are complete or not. We didn't spin the wheel for a nick.

A wheel will tell us if you are complete or not. It always is just. Don't do this. It's always just. It's a no-win situation. It's an already-did-the-punish-well. What do you mean? If you win, the wheel-

50% win situation. Everyone in the chat understands the one rule of this show is the wheel is just. It will tell us if you did it or not. Do you want it to be what it lands on? It should be way more than 50% then. It should be whatever the poll results are. So if it's 95%, it should be 95% done. I've never heard such confidence from a man who was just hung by his underwear.

Spin it. Commanding the room. How he's standing. At an underpin. All right, so what do you want it, Steven? Do you want it to be what it lands on is final or the elimination? Decide after.

No. Come on. All right, what it lands on. Whatever it lands on, that is the wheel deciding. Here we go. Oh, boy. Wait, what color do I want? There you go, buddy.

You're good. See? That's why you never argue good, buddy. You're good. That's why you never argue with the wheel. You're good. See, buddy? It was just. Yeah, you should have accepted it. I want to make you spin again. I did.

I did. Okay. All right. Thank you. That was good. Two out of three? He's laughing too much. I know.

He had the time of his life he really enjoyed it just talking with the boys that's all I don't think he was in pain for one second no I'm in more pain I'm bleeding

probably felt nice to kind of get your balls cupped like that I had to hold that 200 pound man up did you guys do me now with my hands maybe I could get

hanging wedgies now because it just seems so nice it seems so pleasurable I mean it was not enjoyable I would never sign up to do it again it wasn't as bad as I thought because what I was thinking was a broomstick and it breaking

and me falling, but then Brandon was there to do that and Big Cat used a short stick. But if you fell, you would have... And that would just mean your underwear was so strong. You would have fallen like six inches. It's... Yeah. It wasn't like you weren't

high up at all. We redid it. You're clear. You're exonerated. These are the rules of the game. The wheel decides everything, and it has decided that you've served the punishment. Should we do interns? Let's spin the wheel.

Yeah, let's spin the wheel, and let's have some interns come in. If the underworld is not fit, you must acquit. Okay, so now I really want to do it again. You're pushing. He isn't making it worse. You're really pushing. I was on your side, too. I was completely ambivalent,

let the wheel decide, but you are now, you're pushing me to do something drastic. He's going to tweet out later and be like, so does anyone else fall asleep during hanging? I'm going to buy, I'm going to go on Amazon and try to buy a fucking crane so that you can be hung from the crane.

Can you buy a crane on Amazon? Yes. Can you search that, TJ? So to be fair, I didn't see how you did it. I mean, my back was too. I couldn't see. But however it was, however you put the stick in i don't i can't even imagine i think it needs to be suspended from either side i don't think just single

suspension from the yeah no yeah it was right what is this that's a replica no i want a real crane you want a three hundred thousand dollar crane john deere crane made just john deere let's see real crane looks like you don't daddy i need some sort of license to operate one of those. You think so? I don't know. I disagree. Oh, wait. Oh, no.

That's a remote control. What about a tractor? We could get them. I could use a tractor. I think forklift is your best option. Forklift. See if we can buy a forklift. Definitely need a license.

We have a forklift here. There's a forklift here. Oh, okay. That would work. Mounted crane. Oh. That's really cheap. Only 500 bucks?

What? It's just the back part. So you can put it on the stairs. Like 15 jerseys from that. You need a truck. Can you see if there's a forklift that I can buy? Huh. I would love to just have a forklift.

Think about all the shit you could do. You could lift things. And put them other places. Right. Hear me out. Could we hang him from a flagpole using one of these?

Oh, one of the baby toys? Oh, like a bouncy seat? the baby bouncy seat, but you make his underwear the seat. Oh,

there we go. I don't think you make a bouncy seat. 8,500? It's not bad. I kind of want to buy it. I kind of want to buy it. Where's Big Cat?

It's time for the yak. Oh, he's bringing up a pallet from downstairs. Swamped right now. Steven, if I buy that, will you do it again? Do not buy a fucking crane. I can't. I'll let you buy jerseys. Do not buy a fucking crane.

If I buy that, will you do it again? 50-50 rev share. What? So I get. A rev share. On what rev? What am I getting out of this? I'm buying an $8,500 forklift just to do a hanging wedgie.

If I buy that, you have to do it again. We could put it back on the wheel. No, this is bullshit. I can't believe this. Buy an $8,500... It's like a used car. You can get it expensed? Probably not.

Okay, how about just the shirt then? Okay. The thin forklift line. What is this? Is that a big dog shirt? It kind of feels like it. A person who solves problems you can't. I like it.

Spin the real wheel. Yeah, spin the real wheel. I might buy that forklift. Do not buy that forklift. Maybe I can find a used. If it was $1,000, I would have bought it right away. We just need one use out of it. We've probably got a forklift operator watching this who could bring one in.

Ooh, good point, Sass. Yep. Someone out there has got to have a forklift. Also, Jerry probably knows a guy. Oh, Jerry for sure knows a guy. Oh, what about a cherry picker? Can we buy one of those? You can buy whatever you want, Dan.

Oh, I know, but a cherry picker on Amazon. It has to be on Amazon. Right, right, right. Got to be able to get it by Friday. Do you want to hear some crazy shit I heard? Oh, no. This is not going to be crazy. You know when New York City is always really big construction with really tall cranes,

and every couple of years you hear about one of them falling. Right. I heard that whenever that happens, it's always the crane operator's fault. And I heard that from someone. Why is that crazy? Well, because they always blame it on the wind or whatever. But I heard from someone very plugged into the situation. It would be plugged into that situation.

I can't reveal that. Jesus. Talk to the actual crane? Who are you talking to? Just even talk to the crane. They're like. I can't reveal that. Jesus. Talk to the actual crane? Who are you talking to? Steven, talk to the crane. They're like, it wasn't my fault. Just saying. Shefty.

Shefty had the crane operator. Did you see that one of the- I talked to someone very, very plugged in. The crane industry. I'm not giving up his name. We kind of got subtweeted by Sports Illustrated They had a top 100 predictions And number 94 was

Adam Schefter will break a non-football Important world story this year He's just in his back He's just rambling He's rambling right now He's going with everything he's got This is what happens When Steven's balls get readjusted.

He's just nonsensical. He's just playing all the hits. What else you got? What else you got, Steven? I don't know. That was really all I had. Okay. It came up topically.

Spit-ups in the wheel. Oh, fuck. Wheel reset. All right. What was her name? Shelly? Shelly. You got to call Mincy.

You got to call Mincy. Let's see if we can find a live radio show again. That was kind of cool That was exhilarating Who else could we prank call? Chat, give us ideas Do one of the interns? Oh, the interns have to prank call?

No, we prank call one of the interns Like you're fired? We're looking at your resume again Or should we try and poach one of them? For what? Like say we got a better offer for you at Sports Illustrated. Oh, yeah. Yes.

Good call, Seth. They don't have any of their numbers? No. I'm sure we could get it. Text Gaz. Text Gaz. Text Gaz. And they're on the top of their resumes.

We had some resumes in there. Do you have resumes? We probably left some in that room. Should I text Gaz? Yeah, get us just... Should I go try and get one? Let me see if I can... Alright, we might have it. You might not text Gaz. Yeah, any opportunity... Hey, Sash, you're gonna do the

prank call. I don't know if I'm gonna be good at it. No, you're gonna be good at it. You just did... I think my voice is... I know you're very good at it. I think my voice is too young to... No. Make it older. You don't have a young voice. Make it older. You don't have a young voice. Make it older.

You got a grown-ass voice. Give us an older voice. All right, well, what should I say? I think ESPN, no. Fucking BuzzFeed. John Boy Media. Oh. That'd be believable.

They're probably all watching the act right now. Maybe. And if they are, that's... I mean, they should be working. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck.

Full-time job. I think the worst case scenario in this is that they play along with it. And this is the last prank call, I think, right? I think we're going to release prank call on the wheel. Full-time job at Fox Sports. Fox Sports? Yeah. Did we say Pat McAfee show?

Yeah. All right, say you're like, say you saw that he started at Barstool and that, uh... Oh, this guy. All right, this is good. Yeah, say you saw him starting at Barstool and you're like,

we're trying to poach some people from there. Fox Sports. Yeah, I'm not going to say poach. Don't say poach. Say, we're trying to poach some people from there. Fox Sports. Yeah, I'm not going to say poach. Don't say poach. Say we're looking for people of the same skill set or something like that. Don't say poach. Okay, all right, all right, all right. Sam Martin.

Alfred Sam. Alfred Martin. All right, here. All right, let me see it. Here's his number. Oh, okay, all right, all right. I'm going to call him. Zaw's going to call him.

His name is Zaw. I don't know his name or anything Alfred Sam Can I take a picture of it, Zaw? Yeah I forgot his last name Oh, already got a forklift How you got a forklift?

Hell yeah I'm having cramp issues I have someone who A friend of mine who watches this show, said that he's got a forklift person that we'll get a forklift. We'll do it officially. He's very plugged in. What is this, Chi-Sci?

How do you pronounce that? Chi-Sci. Chi-Sci. Chi-Sci. C-H-I. Chi-Sci. Chi-Sci. I'm going to say one of your brothers put me in touch.

Chi-Sci at Lehigh. Is that where? Lehigh is where you're holding the resume. All right. What's another school that has that fraternity? What do you mean? Should I say Lehigh? Should I say I'm a Lehigh alum?

You wouldn't have gotten it from your school. You're a Lehigh alum. Class of – what is the class? You can be class of 03. CJ McCollum's class. Yeah, I'm class of – Class of 11. CJ McCollum.

What year did he graduate? He was like 12. Is that when he beat Duke? I'm nervous. You got this. All right, wait. What am I saying? ESPN, Sports Illustrated?

I think Fox. Fox Sports? Yeah. What's my name? Oh, should you say you're calling from the Nelk Boys? That's actually like... Yeah, but I don't know that this will... No, say Nelk Boys were looking for an intern,

but we understand it's competitive out there. We want to offer you a full-time job. $150,000 a year plus benefits. Right. And you get to do anything that Steve won't do. What should my name be? Buck. Buck, yeah.

Sam? Charlie. Charlie. Charlie works. Charlie. Charlie Watson. Charlie Watson. Charlie Watson from Full Send?

Yes. Holy fuck. Is it going to be epic? I'm nervous, dude. $150,000 a year. My hands are sweating. $150,000 a year. My hands are sweating. $150,000 a year if you walk out right now.

You have to make this a standalone video because people fucking love pranks. No, don't even say that he works at Barstool. Don't even... Don't say that he works at Barstool. Don't be like...

Don't say Barstool. You don't think? I think I should say my brother. One of my brothers from Chi Psi at Lehigh, right? Yeah. Just say Lehigh. I don't know that you have to say Le i don't know just someone who put me in contact with you at lehigh says that you're very good at social media i'm calling from full send media we wanted to extend an offer we're looking for someone for a new uh social media

what not intern what's what's manager manager There we go, Kate. Thank you. Social media manager. I don't know why I didn't have that word in my brain. I was like, what do they have other than intern? Is this the kid that did Dave Portnoy's TikTok? I think this is that. Yes, he might have. It is.

That's perfect. Like we had Dave, say we had Dave on the show a month ago and he was talking highly of you. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Say we had Dave on the show a month ago and he was talking highly of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. We tracked him down.

He just said it was someone he didn't know. Yeah, Dave was on the show, so he was talking highly of you. And we were reaching out. We got your information through Lehigh. And we want to extend an offer $150,000 a year. And be like, is your refrigerator running? No, just see if you can get him to agree. All right. If he tries to hardball you, we can go up to $200,000 a year. And be like, is your refrigerator running? No, just get him to agree. All right.

If he tries to hardball you, we can go up to $200,000. I'd say like Kyle and Steve want to meet you. Yeah. And fly you out. Yeah, and be like, and then if he plays hardball, be like, we'll make it $200,000. Tell him to go to the airport right now. I'd say you can't go higher than $300, 300, but we can actually go to half a million. Look, Steve told me we can't go to... I don't think I'm going to be able to do a voice this entire time. Just do your own voice.

Your voice isn't that young or recognizable. I couldn't tell the first time I heard Big Cat and Kate's voices on the... I just saw the retweeted... You don't expect it. Yeah, you don't expect it. It makes it way... Is his name Sam or Alfred?

I think you say Alfred. This prep feels lengthy. Yeah, no, we're good, though. We're good. Alright, here we go. No pressure. Here we go, Sam. I think it's Sam. Put everyone's mic off.

Hello? Hi, am I talking to Sam Martin? Yeah. Hey, how's it going? My name is Scott Bronson. Hello? Hi, am I talking to Sam Martin? Yep. Hey, how's it going? My name is Scott Bronson. I'm a manager over at Full Send. Are you familiar with Kyle and Steve Will Do It from Nelk Boys? Yeah. Well, we had Dave Portnoy on our show a couple weeks ago, and he spoke very highly of you, and we were just seeing if maybe you'd want to hop on a call sometime to talk about a future job opportunity. I don't think Dave Portnoy knows I exist, so I don't know who this is. I got your resume pulled up right here.

It says you're a fan. I'm buddies with someone who went to Lehigh, correct? Yeah. Yeah, I'm buddies with someone over at Lehigh, and he put me, he, uh, he put me in touch with your contact information, and it says, uh, you're the founder of the official Dave Portnoy Show podcast. TikTok account. Is this sass? Oh, no!

What the fuck? I nailed it. How do you know it was sass? They're over there watching the goddamn show. Yeah, dude. They're over there watching the goddamn show. Are you watching the fuck? I nailed it. How do you know it was Seth? They're over there watching the goddamn show. Yeah, dude. They're over there watching the goddamn show. Are you watching the show? No, I've literally listened to his voice for like two years.

Well, you're fired. Hope you take that job in full sentence. You know what I think gave it away? We meant to look it up. We never found out which year C.J. McCollum graduated. 2013. I was nervous as fuck. I think I fucked it up, too.

I think he knew you immediately. C.J. just clown-faced the fuck out of you. Yeah, he did. My fault? Can you find a forklift operator? I'll try to get a... I'll buy a forklift. Was it my fault?

No, it's the wheel's fault. No, he knew immediately. No, it's not your fault. He tried your fault. I don't think we should have done, I don't think we should have done. Maybe overprepped. I don't think we should have done Nelk.

I think we should have done Fox Roads. I think he knew right when you called. Yeah. The second you answered, it sounded like he knew. He sounded skeptical. He probably loves you. Damn, he probably does love you.

He probably doesn't anymore though. Bored of him. Not anymore. Lost a fan. That shit was whack. Coming to show you how it's done. That sucked. Boy, they're a fan. Two years. Lost a fan. That shit was whack. Coming to show you how it's done. That sucked. You should have taken the job.

Yeah. What a dumbass. We could have been like, no, jobs rescinded. Now when he does get a job offer, he's going to think it's one of us. Good. I want him scared for life. It's like it was such a good idea, and it just failed. What should we replace Prank All With on the wheel though?

Yeah, good question. Can we ask Steve Will Do It to call him? To actually call that kid? I don't have Steve Will Do It's number. Oh, I thought you would. I don't.

I don't know. You have everyone's number. No, I don't have Steve Will Do It's number. It's just a Rolodex of influencers. How about, yeah, next one we get Steve Will Do It's number and that could be on the wheel. Steve Will Do It It's just a Rolodex Of influencers How about Yeah next one we get

Steve Will Do It's number And that could be on the wheel Steve Will Do It Call someone Yeah maybe we should get Dave To call that kid And be like I heard you're trying

To take a job at Nelk Yeah Oh no They already know He's on the show Yeah Damn it Fuck

Foiled again We just gotta replace it With some other shit Maybe the Frank Shuey Yeah he's gotta do A Frank Shuey Who Yeah, he's got to do a Frank Shuey. Who does? Oh, someone else does. Intern. Yes, that does.

After that. I want to do it again, but I want it to work. Alright, so let's try to prank call someone else. I don't think the interns. I don't think we can do an intern. Word is probably spread. Yeah. Do Erica. Call her.

Be like, it's Dave. I quit. You want to be a producer for her? You should call Erica and be like, I heard Sass is a free agent. It's Steve. We'll do it. You want to give Sass a billion dollars? Will you match?

It would. It would. It would. They would match. They would match. They would match. My calls are just tough this day and age because it's like

A, people see the number beforehand. B, they're screening it. And see, back in the day it was just a random ass ringing phone. It could have been your mom.

So true. It's so true. Damn. It was your fault though. It was. Yeah. When I said the Dave Portnoy thing he was like, Dave doesn't know who I am, so fuck you.

He sounded cool, too. Yeah, he sounded really cool. His voice made me insecure. Yeah, there's not much to him. We're saying you should take your shirt off. Dave doesn't know who I am, douche. Oh, man. All right, well, what else we got going on? Oh, douche. Oh, man. All right, well, what else we got going on?

Oh, dude wipes. Go to dude wipes. Use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order. You got to probably dude wipe tonight, Stephen, after that hanging wedgie. Do you have poop in your butt? I haven't gone today, no. Are you back to regular?

Regular what? After the word diarrhea you had when your balls went into your chest. Have you changed into your backup? Are you still wearing the broken? I'm still wearing the... I mean, they still function. It's just the waistline's all ripped. I don't really need them.

Did you know they make special toilets that are longer for guys with longer balls? What? So your balls don't get wet? That's a true thing. No. They make toilet bowls that go down further so that your balls don't get wet if you have big old balls. I think they should just make toilet bowls that go down further no matter what. I kind of like the-

A little shallow. I kind of like it. That's a splash factor. Yeah, I kind of like when the water's really close to my ass. It adds an element of danger. It's like sharks. Yeah. I don't know. I like it. It's like an element of danger. It's like sharks. Yeah. I don't know.

I like it. It's chomping up at you. I could hover right like a centimeter above the water. I want my balls submerged. I want my balls underwater when I'm cooking. Nice incubator. Yucky water. Ball washing?

Yeah, that would actually be nice. One time I had a battle rap against this Norwegian dude. He was from the smallest city in Norway called Järum. It's actually its own country. But that was one of the jokes he used against me. He said something I said. It was like, that was very, very low, like a Canadian toilet seat or something. I guess they just have lower toilets there.

Or they have higher toilets, which would make think that the scandinavians have longer balls perhaps maybe they have longer balls how'd you even know about this kate we have an old jabs and kate show specifically about toilets of course and i thought i thought when guys poop that you like you flop all your stuff up onto your leg and i thought i don't know what you do with it i don't know and guys put it in your lap? and they were like no no you just put your penis on your lap?

what if you pee? well that's a great well I guess you're right that's a great point but I thought the balls are like the ottoman of the penis that you kind of prop them up

and then the penis like hangs out on them throw them over your shoulder like a comfortable shoulder I thought you threw it over your leg and people were like no no

it dangles down and some guys like dangle so far that they make special toilets. No way. Your stuff doesn't. I swear to God, that's like a real thing. That's got to be such a great flex to be like, I need a big ball toilet.

Yeah. Yo. Thank you, my G. Look at that new bling. Oh, yeah. We're coming around the city. Hey, what is that? Did Large buy that for you?

It's VVS, too. How much is that? Is it real? 25K. Looks real. That boy's shining. That is nice. I wouldn't know the difference.

Can you bring me one of the guns? I'm thinking about going extra another chain. I want to do another chain. A double chain. What? Don't give them orders. One of the airplanes coming I'm not giving them orders I don't know where they are

I don't know We should get Yak chains though That would be dope I think the Yak coins Are going to come out In like four years The show's already been It's been over for a long time

Five and a half Yeah No these shows never die No It's impossible So no one told Whoa How did it Whoa Yeah. No, these shows never die. No. It's impossible. So no one told me. Whoa! How did it jump the curb?

It's got steam coming out of it. Out of its ace. That's awesome the way that thing rolls around. It's got smoke coming out of its ace. The lights are going low. Oh, you're're gonna shoot me after I just yeah you failed the

prank call ah she dubbed you Owen oh it doesn't hurt at all I don't know what I was expecting oh

I keep hitting it I don't know why I was expecting it to be like a BB gun. Yeah. Dude, remember that show BattleBots? Yeah. Yeah. That shit was fucking awesome. Yep.

So awesome. Was it on Comedy Central or like Spike TV? It was on Comedy Central. I think it was on both at some point. Yep. That shit's back on air. What a shitty feeling to lose that, though. Put all your money and effort into it. Those are smart guys that are losing. They're back on air. What a shitty feeling to lose that, though. Put all your money and effort into it.

Those are smart guys that are losing. They're like robotics experts. Let's see if we can get in the lobby. Steve. Steve. Goat. Absolutely goated. We should put a fucking...

Oh, how far do you think you can get as a goat? Where is it? Ebony is unconcerned. This shit reminds me of fucking WALL-E. Oh, here comes Spider. WALL-E. WALL-E. There he is.

Oh, he's got his own. BattleBot engineers were the apex nerds for a while. Yeah, they were. In TV and movies. Yeah. Oh, shit, Spider. Wait, let's just keep this. Let's just keep this like this, and then when

someone comes into the office, we'll just have this attack them. Oh, hell yeah. Thank you, Spider. Why did you do that? I'm gonna shoot you guys. I mean, there's no way you're not. It's fine. That quote, was that a real quote for you when you're like, these actually hurt more than real bullets?

No. You did say that. It made me laugh a lot, though. I felt like you said that. You said that. Now I want someone to come into the office right now. Just get them. Your love life's the only way.

These things hurt from the gun. More than real bullets. Queen and chest, though. That shit goes all directions. Yeah, it does. That's incredible. I used to work the front desk at a dialysis company. What? They waste dialysis? They switch out your blood

and all that jazz. Your blood's not refreshing itself, but I hit a fart machine in the plants in the lobby, and I had a button that would send it off, so when people come in and be talking, I would hit the button, and then it's kind of like this, but it's not a... They think you farted, or you thought you would

accuse them of being a dick? Did you ass-light them into thinking it was their fart? That's what I was trying to do. When there'd be a group of people talking near the plants, I would hit it. This is a place of business. It was a place of people needing dialysis, which I should have been more considerate of, really. Yeah, those poor bastards.

That is a sick and twisted thing of you to do, though, Kate. This is just like that, but with a gun machine. Did you ever convince someone that they actually farted? No, I think I just seemed like a giant weirdo. Why is everyone in the front door? Enrique? Enrique. Light him up. No, I think I just seemed like a giant weirdo. Why is everyone in the front door? Enrique? Enrique. Light him up.

No, it's his month. Enrique was having a good time walking through those doors. Yeah, he was doing the Carlton. He really was. It's not unusual to be loved. Oh, no. He just stepped right over it.

Unbothered. That would be hilarious if he just stepped on it. Yes. We got to bring the Philly folks around, see if they'll just fucking crush it like that. Who's this? Tom Mullins? Oh, yeah.

Remember the robot, Rowan? Is that what you're talking about? The little travel robot? If you're really from Philly, you'll fucking crush a robot with your feet. Yeah, what was his name? Hitchbot. Hitchbot. Oh, rest in peace. Robot. Little Hitchbot.

Is she getting mad too? Ebony just shoots it. I want someone random to come in who doesn't know. Is that your food out there, Kate? Yeah. Try to get it. Fine. There's one way to protect against good guys with hitch, or the bad guys with hitch bots.

It's good guys with hitch bots. I see a picture of a hitch bot. That was such a funny story. The bad guys are going to get hitch bots either way. That was one of those stories. I'm pretty sure it was fake, but I just like, don't ruin it. Let's just pretend it's real i think it was real hitchbot went like all across canada and then got to philly and someone beat the fuck out of it yeah so fucking funny yeah it made it hitchbot made the trips across canada the netherlands and germany and was traveling across

the united states but it only got 300 miles um It started in Boston, but then it hit Philadelphia. Hitchbot's trip came to an end last night in Philadelphia after having spent a little over two weeks. That's so awesome. A lot of people were just like, fuck this bot. In the gutter. In a leafy gutter. Imagine just beating up a random robot. I mean, it's kind of a victimless crime

Yeah it's true The robot was a social experiment Intended to test human psychology When confronted with technological novelty We're not ready And then Philadelphia was not ready The world was ready but Philadelphia Was not

So that's a shame What are you doing over there buddy I'm not going to shoot anybody I just wanted to load up. Let's get Pat. Hate crime. Oh, no, I'm stuck. He didn't even notice.

Can't see anymore. Did you trap yourself? It is stuck. It's adorable, kind of. Oh, no, it made it out. Are we getting these interns in here? I think we missed the window today. Oh. It's all right. No tank tomorrow. Shall we do it tomorrow. Are we getting these interns in here? I think we missed the window today. Oh.

It's all right. No tank tomorrow. So we can do it tomorrow. No tank? Where's tank at? Him and Doug's are driving to Alabama or something. What? All of anything?

They're going to a USFL game. They're doing their own Mincy tour? Wow. Damn, that's going to be fucking sick. Someone in here? Someone just walk in? Food delivery. It's a delivery guy.

Oh, it's the delivery guy. I don't really have the controls down. Why don't you do the friends theme with Whistle? There you go. Ah! Yeah. Delivery guy. Fuck!

Make him step on it and then be like, what the fuck, dude? You broke my thing. Remember that one delivery guy that just grabbed the $20 bill and kept going? Remember the dude we gave $500 to? I wasn't here for that. Can you get me unstuck? That was in the case race, right? That was the best day of my life. I can't believe you missed that, Brandon. Here we go. My birthday.

I'm stuck. I'm not driving very well. I'm coming back. You were struggling. Table magnetic? Can't you go all directions? You are struggling. I can't. Table magnetic? Can't you go all directions? Yeah.

Now moving forward. No. There you go. You got to turn it around. Turn the gun. Turn the gun. She's looking at it. Shoot her.

Shoot her. Shoot her. I'm trying. Look at Enrique's face. He's appalled. Look at her. Look at her.'s face. He's appalled. Look at her. Is it shooting? Now it is.

She's waving it off. She's swatting it with her hands. Yeah, yeah. Shoot her, shoot her. Enrique, look appalled for a second. Kick it. Kick it. Kick it over.

Kick it away. That was stupid. Oh, no. Now she's done it. Here it comes. What is this? Squad. What is this squad?

Who's this group? Lunch crew. Wait, I can't get it. I got to get it. I got to get it out of here. Go after him. Go after this group. I can't.

I can't fucking. Oh, my God. I don't know why I'm. You got to train. I can't fucking. Oh my god. I don't know why I'm. You gotta train. I gotta train. I'm just constantly getting it stuck. Keep getting that same hole. Now I'm stuck. How's this hard to watch?

It's very hard to watch. And now imagine the battle bots guys. You want me to just go put it out in the middle? Yeah put it out in the middle. Wait. I'm out. I'm out, I'm out. This is going to be a very important thing I do here. No, no. You can go through there, probably. Go through there.

Yeah, yeah. You know what it is? It's the... The side thing stopped? There we go. I had the cannon all the way to the left. She's staring you down. Where is she? She's over in this corner, but she's absolutely... Oh, yeah, here she is.

Is she standing there to stay away from that thing? That's upsetting. Is that the girl? Wait, someone else is coming in? Oh, no. More people. Okay. Is it shooting?

No, I think it's done. You're on ammo. It's not moving. You want to go do a recon mission? Fill it up? That was the saddest thought. I've seen that before. Yeah, I don't know what's going on It's not moving anymore Poor thing

It might be out of Yeah it's not doing It's not doing anything Damn it Alright Alright fucking I want Stavros to come in But I don't know how long

He's gonna be in KFC radio They're probably getting along famously They're probably fucking I want Stavros to come in, but I don't know how long he's going to be in KFC Radio. They're probably getting along famously. He's probably cracking jokes in there as we speak. Light me up, Sass. Light me up. Nothing came out. You're shooting blank.

I can't even see the shit come out. Because it's fucking fast. Ryan hit the end of this paddle I think I have pretty good aim with this thing you think so you have nothing to base that on there goes Pete motherfucker what hit the cat

now it's actually set up perfectly because it's just staring right at her. She's staring right at it. It's staring right at her. I can't move it, but it's staring right at her. It's very intimidating. She does not look amused. I think we should let her acquit herself.

I have to get my lunch off that table. This is really stressful. It's also very intimidating. All I can do now is just this. Where it's just like... Who knows? This has made my lunch awkward. Thanks a lot.

Kate, you go get your lunch before we end the show. Don't say anything to her. Say something to her. Like, yeah, okay. Don't say anything to her. Say something to her. Like, yeah, we've had a robot problem recently. Kate, look at her. This woman is not amused at all. She's bemused.

She's been grabbed. Is she famous? Is she? Yeah, she's one of our celebrity guests. Oh, Kate's knocking on your door. Oh, no, Kate. Wow. Kate would not hold up under questioning.

Did you knock on me? No. What did you say? You did. What did you say? First of all, I went into it a little jokey. She was not feeling the vibe. I'm very aware of rejection.

Face it a lot. That was big time. What did she say? I was like, oh, you can come in there and yell at us if you want. And she goes, no, I don't think so. And then she goes, anything to get me away from this noise. Do you know how loud that fucking robot is? Oh, I know.

It's out there. Even in the beginning, they were like, make the noise. It's the things out there like, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo. It's so loud. This whole time. I didn't know that. It was almost hard to hear her speak. That's how loud that thing is.

Is it still going? Oh, yeah. You can hear the motor now. It's like, grrrr. It's like a diesel motor going out there. She was not abused. Whoops. Whoops. Yeah.

What is she here for, did she say? No. Some sort of meeting. I'm going to get the other robot, so when she comes back out, there'll be two of them attacking. Yeah, you should. I covered myself, though.

I said I asked them not to do it. Big Cat's a huge piece of shit. Yeah, you should. I covered myself, though. I said I asked them not to do it. Big Cat's a huge piece of shit. Yeah, no thanks. Oh, man. All right, I got to find a better robot. We should get some BattleBots guys in. We should get like a... We need a crane operator and robot builders.

Yeah, I like the idea of just having people walk in the office and just a robot harassing them. What about a robot that gives wedgies? I wouldn't mind doing for BattleBots what we did for Skee-Ball. And just have the two best BattleBots and have kind of like an unsanctioned cockfight of BattleBots?

Yeah, that'd be incredible. See that gun real quick? Dog fighting type shit? Hell no. At least not give him that gun. Don't. You got the safety on, brother. Is it?

Do not give him that gun. No. See it real quick? Mm-mm. Make sure? Do not give him that. No. Say it real quick. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Make sure you practice fucking safety with that thing, bro. You give him else a cookie. On full auto right now.

That's right. Is it? No. Damn, it smells like Chick-fil-A in here. Chick-fil-A. Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, I got Chick-fil-A for lunch.

On June 1st. You guys say Top Gun or Top Gun? The latter. Top Gun or Top Gun? The latter. Top Gun or Top Gun? Top Gun. Top Gun. I say Top Gun. Top Gun.

And I think that's in the minority. All right, so what should we do with the interns tomorrow? Because I'll actually, like, plan it. I think I'm shooting something tomorrow. What? No, you're not. Neighborhood each. So what should we do with them?

Should we have them all just come in? Should we have them perform something for us? What if they each have to do one minute of stand-up and whoever gets the most laughs? Yes. You could do that. I'm awkward like that. Are you here tomorrow, Kate? Yes.

All right, perfect. Or what if we tell them to just plan? We're giving them 10 minutes of the act tomorrow. Let them plan it. No, I want to see stand-up, though. One minute of stand-up. Can't Zastu stand-up? What about human pyramid, though?

Human pyramid stand-up would be funny, too. They have to do it while they're in a human pyramid. Yeah, they all have a minute. Zass, are you going to be here? Yeah. All right, so you'll be able to judge the stand-up? No. As a stand-up?

You can judge the stand-up. Sure. When should we tell them to get their stand-up prepared? At the beginning of the show. Yeah, right at the beginning. We'll bring them all in and we'll be like, you have five minutes to figure out one minute their stand-up prepared. At the beginning of the show. Right at the beginning. We'll bring them all in and be like, you have five minutes to figure out one minute of stand-up. Among all of you.

And you've got to popcorn it. What if it's got to be a roast of Big Cat? Oh, yeah. We have them write a roast of all of us and say, like, be vicious. And then just get really mad. What if they pick names out of a hat? We're going to sign them all once. You can't make plans. them write a roast of all of us and say like be vicious and then just get really mad yeah what if they pick names they're all just listening to us you can't make plans oh we should do that though we should be like you guys roast the entire yak and we just don't laugh and get very upset yeah

you can be like a lady out in the lobby getting hit with a robot yeah you could be real mad should i apologize terrifying no she's scary you You should apologize. But is she getting a... She didn't get... It was just a robot. It wasn't... There's no bullets in there anymore. Is she getting interviewed? I was just harassing her.

I couldn't tell. Or is she... She was wearing a full Canadian suit. I think I want more robots in the lobby to just harass me. Right. Yeah. The minute you walk in, robots on your ass. Can we get...

Oh. Can we get robot drones so that we can get a... Would that work, TJ? I'm willing to purchase that. You want me to dribble that massive golf ball next to her until her meeting? Wait, TJ, technologically speaking, what if I bought a robot that had a camera on it that was linked to the yak where people walked in and it was just robot cam

and it followed them to the bathroom and shit? Yeah, we can look at some options. Maybe one can hold a phone or something. We could just do a zoom. I don't know. I would have to see what the... I want to add that as an element to the show where people come in and we just

videotape them. I don't think we can use a real drone. Like if they have skirts on, we can get underneath them. I don't think we can use a real drone. If they have skirts on, we can get underneath them. Dave has a strict no drone office rule. You could do a Roomba with a tripod taped onto it. What if we each brought our Roombas in and put knives on them in here? Yes. And put balloons on them. That is BattleBots.

And did our own BattleBots. Yes. We should do that. I don't have one. I'll buy some Roombas. You don't have Roombas? I have a cheap version, the generic version. Yes. I mean, I'll buy some new Roombas. Roombas. You all have Roombas? I have like a cheap version, the generic version. Yes, I mean.

I'll buy some new Roombas. Roombas? Roombas. Yeah. Isn't there? Roomba's a workout. Roomba's dancing. Roomba's a class.

The Roan's in right now. Roomba. Are you doing? Yeah, Roan does Roomba. Yeah, that's how I've been getting in such good shape. Roan does do Pilates. Y'all didn't see my triceps yesterday? I'll tell you what, the streets are talking about Roan doing Pilates.

Do you do Pilates for real? Yeah. I did them this morning. Wow. That's how my legs are so chickeny. My neighbor was like, hey, that Roan guy you work with, I saw him at Pilates class, and I was just like, pause. That means you were there. Yeah, he outed himself.

He outed himself as a Pilate. Just Pilate. There's a Pilate. Watch his Pilate. There's a couple of bros doing some Pilates. I heard it's very good for your... Oh, here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to do this.

We're going to do this, Kate. We each get assigned a Roomba. I'm down to have robots become a part of this show. And like, because I, you know, you guys know me well enough by now. I have, some may say addictive personality yep um i'm down to purchase a lot of robots in the next 24 hours and then just see where it lands all type see how we end up all flavor of robots every type of robot you can find i will buy so right now we're in the robot accumulation phase right we're gonna we're gonna amass robots and next week the robots will show up and I'll be like, oh,

this is boring. But right now, let's strike while the iron's hot. Yeah. I'm going to go buy some robots. If you're a robot salesman, now's the time. Now's the time. Hit me up. Tell me what robots I should buy.

Yeah. Yeah. Robot show. Anything that's like remote controlled or robot? Pretty much, right? You talking about remote controlled dildo?controlled, a robot? Pretty much, right? You're talking about a remote-controlled dildo? It's a robot. Could be.

That sounds like... Robot dick. I mean, televisions are remote-controlled. Anything that you can control remotely? TV's a robot? Maybe. I'm asking. I'm asking, how do we define a robot?

Is it like defining a scientist? KB is famously anti-robot. He might not love this. Is he? Bitch, you're the robot. Oh, yeah. Anything that not love this. Is he? Bitch, you're the robot. Oh, yeah. Anything that can replicate human movements and functions. And or functions.

I would love to buy an entire robot. Like a human robot? Yes. Do robots like that actually exist, though? Yeah. Have you seen the ones that can do, like, backflips? Yeah, but those are all dogs. Those things suck.

No, there's, like, two-footer ones that can do cartwheels. Why do we make robot dogs when we have dogs? It's a good question. AI influencers when we have influencers. It's a good question. Fuck. That was real as fuck. Everyone please subscribe to the Yak, by the way.

I feel like we've hit a lull. We need to promise something to the people. We have a 12 hours at 100k And we also have the case race coming up I think we should come up with some merch And drop that at 100k as well Oh good call

What if we did like a coin That's too crazy I don't think we could ever do that When is the case race? The last week of June is when we're taping it. We'll run it in July. Awesome. What?

Nothing. You're not going to be here? No. Yeah, I'll be here. What's wrong? What was the... I had previously told you we had to do a Tommy Walker day because I'm moving them home. Yeah, we will.

But I'm not. You're not moving them? I'm not moving them. Nope., we will. But I'm not. You're not moving them. I'm not moving them. No. So we can do his birthday. They're going to stay with me. When's his birthday? July 13th.

That's when we're doing the mini golf. Why are we doing mini golf? Ever? Did you not see that? Did you not see the email, bro? Several emails from Hank. Mini golf tournament. Barstool mini golf tournament.

When did we get that? Today? Yesterday. July 13th. I don't think I was invited. You definitely were. Itstool mini golf tournament. When did we get that? Today? Yesterday. July 13th. I don't think I was invited. You definitely were. It was sent to everyone. It's going to be incredible.

So are you in? Yeah, we'll just do it the Friday of his birthday week. Yeah, Tommy Walker Day the next day or something. I can't wait for Tommy Walker Day. That's going to be incredible. Have we decided we're going to do one last kid birthday or we're going to do his first adult birthday? He's turning 12.

Ah, yes. Cigarettes, alcohol, strippers. We've already done that. Knives. Knives. I really want Stav to come out. I want to give him this Karl Malone jersey for appearing on the show.

He's doing ATI as of like 10 minutes ago, so I don't know how long it's going to take. Can we watch him? Yeah, let me look. Yeah, I love this. People have been spamming the chat for like the last 20 minutes saying to prank call Will Compton and offer him an XFL

roster. Oh, yes, let's do it. Owen, you do it. Owen, he does not know your voice. Bitch. Alright, ready? Owen, I'm going to send you his number. This is Shelly from the XFL. What's the XFL? Go XFL.

What's a team? I think the St. Louis Battle Hawks is a team. Or should we just do an NFL team? What's the other? It's not the XFL. There's another new league. USFL. USFL.

USFL. Which is probably USFL is more believable because it's going on right now. And they're looking. They could be looking for late season replacements. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Social media.

What's the team? Give us the team Pittsburgh Maulers, New Orleans Breakers, Birmingham Stallions Birmingham's close to Nashville It's the closest one All the games are played in Birmingham Alright so what are we saying $60,000 No

$15,000 a game $15,000? $15,000 That game. $15,000? $15,000. That's too fucking much. They don't take people to turn it down. They make $600 a week. They're 7-0, first in the South right now. They're a hot team.

$4,500 for being on the active roster. You need a linebacker's name on that team because you've got to say he got injured. Less than $50,000 has to be the salary. Thoughts on calling from an NFL team, not specifying, and then when asked, saying the positions for a social media manager? Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's funny.

Like a team media ambassador or something. Yes, yes. No, but you can say the team name. Yeah. Yeah, so what team is it going to be? Say the Jaguars? Jaguars? No one knows anything about the Jaguars. Alright, so you got it?

You ready to go? Are you going to call from the booth? Text it to me. Alright, I'll text him the number. Oh, this is great. Good call, chat. This is going to be great. I feel like he's going to fall. We want to bring you in for a workout.

And when he's like, or you can do it remotely. Say tryout. Yeah, tryout. Tryout. Should he be like some big time agent? No, it's someone from the Jaguars. From the Jaguars? Yeah.

Give us a name from the Jaguars front office. Hold on. Scout. Jaguars? Yeah. Give us a name from the Jaguars front office. Hold on. Scout. Jaguars scout. Oh, this is great. Good job. Fuck yeah, Owen. Let's just go.

There's a guy named... Are you ready to go? Dave McCoughlin or John Stevenson or Tim McConaughey. Tim McConaughey. Trip McCracken. That sounds too fake. The director of roster management. Go on.

Trip McCracken. Your call has been Text him and be like Hey Tripp McCracken Jags here Pick up Wait that's not the number though He called from the booth Call him from your phone

Maybe even text him first And be like Hey pick up This is so and so from whatever That's not the number, though. He called from the booth. Call him from your phone. Maybe even text him first and be like, hey, pick up. This is so-and-so from whatever. Trip McCracken. Trip McCracken. Yeah, call him from your phone, Owen, and then text if he doesn't pick up. Call him your phone. Wasn't Trip McCracken one of your fake boyfriend names in high school?

Probably. That's a great name. It's like, I just watched Boogie Nights. It's probably like a Boogie Night past name. Yeah. Text him, text him text him text him and say you're Tripp McCracken from the Jaguars

or just be like pick up real quick be like looking to hop on a call that's what they always say it's always that got a second for a call

you can just wait till he calls back no I got nothing to do neither do I I'm really hungry I have robots out of juice.

Let me actually, I'll buy some robots. Why does that sound like some Starship Trooper-ass guns? I gotta do Unnecessary Roughness. Do, do, do, do, do. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. I gotta do it. We'll skip it today.

Two. With Casey Smith. Why don't you just groom Jack Mack to take over? Hmm. Casey Smith. Why don't you just groom Jack Mack to take over? Brandon, if you leave this room, I'm tearing your ass up. And then he's going to shoot you with that gun. Zinger. Is he texting? Wow, he's missing an opportunity of a lifetime.

Right. Tough. Just give him a call back again now that he's seen that. Hello, it's Tripp McCracken from the Jaguars. I don't think he's going to answer. There's your guy. Hi. Yeah. Maybe this isn't a prank call show.

Yeah, it seems like it. I don't think we're a prank call show. Yeah, I don't think we've got it. Last week set too high a bar. Why, was it good last week with the Mincy one? Yeah, well, we should just call it Mincy every day.

Let me know. Maybe a prank Mincy show. Can we do the Mincy one and just try and get Poach him? T-ball for prank calls. Really? Automatic. Fuck, I want it.

Can we do that again? I really want to hear that. You can prank Mincy if you'd like. No, I don't want to call him bad at it. Okay. All right. So should we wait until the internet's over?

Should we just... He's really answering. He's answering the entire internet. He's answering his ass off. Can we listen? No, I actually shouldn't do that. They're not going to throw, like, Thorman Friday Night Pints after this, too, are they?

I think they did that already. He just flexes his pecs. Do you have any other shows? He's doing a wine walk with Liz after. Oh, man. Miss Liz. That was good. Miss Liz, too.

Another card. All right, should we call it? That was team. I think, too. Another card. All right, should we call it? That was team. I think we might need to call it. Yeah, we probably should call it. Maybe some other time. Maybe some other time. He's on the show.

Try Will one last time. Try Will one last time. Oh, no. It's probably like taking care of his daughter or something. Oh, he said in meetings right now for next couple of hours. In meetings? In Jacksonville Jaguars? Question mark.

Oh, shit. Just be like, yes, yes, can you hop on? Can you hop on real quick right now? Yeah. We'll make it worth your time. I'm already uncomfortable. I'm already so uncomfortable. I hate this.

It'll be worth your time. It's the chat that decided this one. Don't shoot me, dude. Can I shoot your coffee? Yes. Oh, you can. Yes, wait, hold on. Now go. Wait, shoot me, dude. Can I shoot your coffee? Yes. Oh, you can. Yes. Wait, hold on. Now go. Wait, I'm going to... I didn't even

hit you. I hit the seat. You hit right here. See if you can shoot down my plane. Oh, nice. I miss KB and Nick. Wait until it hit the ground. I hit it. Yeah, once it was stationary. What did you say? It's going good. I said yes. Yeah, once it was stationary. What did you say? It's going good.

I said yes, no availability now, question mark. This is me. That sounds professional, too. I'm using tons of periods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's rules. I also did THX as thanks. You guys got beef with them, huh?

Oh, yeah. What's up? Are they selling boy dad stuff? They're stealing our merch. Just boy dad? Are you sure he didn't mean boy, like for the boys, dad hats? Yes. Wait, they're not boy dads.

And they're not boy dads. It just says boy dad. But they're not boy dads. No confusion. Yeah, because they had a successful girl dad hat that they're trying to spin off into this. And again, they're not boy dads no confusion cause they had a successful girl dad hat that they're trying to spin off into this and again they're not

fathers of sons no like me and Ron right we're sons of fathers they're not even they both have lesbian parents

yes yeah vitro boys has anyone reached out to you being like what's up this podcast isn't for me you kinda fuck me over here

all women yeah yeah my my well I mean like both my moms like this is fucked up they're excluding me no

we don't discriminate well sounds like you do yeah I mean you work at Barstool yeah what is up everybody welcome back to they have a trans fan

alright do we is he responding try one more time. No. It was like a comparable like free agent linebacker type him.

Oh he's typing. He's typing. He's typing. Oh man. What if he's in a what if he's in a meeting to get an actual job in the NFL. When he passes I'm a

worst team to go. Yeah. Well there are. There's no worse. Yeah. This thing's to go. Yeah. Well, I don't know if there are any. There's no worst team. Yeah. This thing's addicting. Yeah. That is.

Oh, yeah. Can I see it real quick? Don't. Shoot me in my rickets, bro. You couldn't even hit my skinny ass legs. You have terrible aim. Did I not hit? No.

You have terrible aim. Stop. Still in there? You can't hit me, bro. You I not hit? No. You have terrible aim. Stop. Still in there? Can't hit me, bro. You haven't hit me once. You just lit me up. I'm going to get you later. Okay.

Ow. Jesus. No, we're going to get you. Don't worry. That's coming back. What did he say? What did he say? Otherwise, we'll end it.

Nothing. Why do we got to end it? Call him one more time. I'm having fun. Call him one more time. I'm having fun. Call him one more time. Brandon, where are you going? Hey, you really don't want to know what I got to do? Yes.

Take a shit. Oh, he's leaving. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Y'all can have... I got his agent's number. Oh. Oh, I can't call the agent. No, that agent will rip into us.

Be like, just kidding. It's Owen, son of a boy, dad for life, pussy. will rip into us. Be like, just kidding. It's Owen, son of a boy, that for life pussy. Yeah, say that. I'm going to call him and just be like, yo, the Jaguars just hit me up. Trying to get in contact with you. BC. Yo, someone from the Jaguars just hit me up trying to get in contact with you. Yeah, he just texted me, too.

I passed him my agent. All right, cool. Yeah, I don't know why they hit me up. Did you pull a fun little prank? Dude, why are you screening Owen's calls? I was in the middle of texting him back saying, I'm still a gritty vet who stays in shape all year round but no need to like foreplay on the phone you can just call my agent

oh fuck i wish you had picked up we were gonna offer you uh a tryout and then have it be for social media manager i saw a couple new york numbers calling. I literally, you sent the name, and I was just like, I typed it in, and I'm like, man, I'm showing up on this dude from Jacksonville. And so I'm just like, hey, here's my agent made up. That's a real name, though. Trip McCracken is a real dude. Is he really? In the Jaguars, we're going to see.

He's head of their roster, yeah. What a wild name, huh? Yeah, I was like, all I was was thinking about some of the shit i've talked about the jaguars on bus with the boys i'm like man so it's a good thing they haven't seen that shit yet all right well good to know that you're not in a meeting oh here's stav all right see ya see ya stop he's got what do you going to piss? Piss in here.

Piss in front of everyone. Piss in my mouth. Can you get the Carmelone jersey for him? Yeah. Let him take my spot. I've got to go fill out an application for a house. You're applying? You're all over the place. Is it public housing?

No. Why do you have to apply? I've got to sign a lease. Oh, there it is. We got it. Decided to stay here. Dude, how fucked up is that, that Will just basically... He ghosted you.

Yeah. He wasn't in a meeting. He screened you. I like that he looked up a name, though. He's got shooters. He probably had like 40 people DMing him being like, yo, don't fall for this bullshit. He does have shooters. He has snitches. Yeah up a name, though. He's got shooters. He probably had like 40 people DMing him being like, yo, don't fall for this bullshit. He does have shooters.

He has snitches. Yeah, a lot of them. I said one thing on the Spittin' Chicklets stream, which was like a joke I've said to him, to his face, many, many times, and instantly someone was like, Big Cass talking shit. Yeah. Like, what? A lot of snitches. Brandon's just eating his lunch now.

Yeah. What an absolute piece of shit. Of course he is. I gotta go fill out a application. I bet day baseball and it's going very poorly. I just took a look. I gotta go fill out my mouth. How long does Stav piss for?

Jesus. That's a long key. Always pissing on his butt. I gotta piss too. And I got to eat. Maybe you could run into him in there and be like, yo, what the fuck is good? That shirt's funny. Freak.

Freak. Stav, how'd it go? Sit down. What's up, Bruce? And Kate. How'd it go? And Kate is here too. Hey, how's it going?

Hello, hello. We wanted to give you a gift for coming into Barstool Sports. Hell yeah. What do we got? And Kate How'd it go? And Kate Kate is here too Hey how's it going? Hello hello We wanted to give you a gift For coming into Barstool Sports Hell yeah What do we got? We got a nice Authentic jersey For you

So please wear it out Child molesters jersey Yes yes Carl Malone Fuck Carl Malone Oh you have to Are you not accepting our gift? No suck my dick

What the fuck? I'm not wearing a fucking guy who fucked a 12-year-old and impregnated her. She was 15. Bro, how do you not put that thing on? Not doing it. A little bit of respect. That is so fucked. You can suck my dick.

Utah can suck my dick. Every Mormon. Actually, a lot of Mormon girls could if they wanted to. Just on some sexual pleasure shit. But yeah, anyway, no, I don't want this piece of shit jersey, but thank you. Okay. It's the thought that counts, and it was a really bad thought.

All right. I was hoping it was the Chick-fil-A when you said gift. Oh, wow. There's Steven. Walking the fuck out of it. What happened to him? He's in jail now. Following the footsteps

of Malone. How was KFC radio? Good. We got in some stuff. What did you get into? Don't, just give us a teaser. Explored the fellow's

sexuality a little bit. Oh, nice. I'm coming in here, I'm asking Billy if he eats pussy on your show and I'm asking those guys if they're heteroflexible.

Ooh. What's the word? Yeah, I was gonna say and I'm asking those guys if they're heteroflexible. Ooh. What's the word? Hey, I'm a professional. That's a little teaser. All right, you're going to have to listen to the fucking pod to find out. We'd formally like to invite you to a case race in a future time. A future time I can do. Yeah, we do case races on this show.

I'll do it. Yeah, Shane Gillis is doing the next one with us. Oh, Shane will fucking destroy me. He's a fucking tank. Well, it's teams of two. Okay, nice. I'm going to get in there, though. I'll get back. Shane Gillis is doing the next one with us. Oh, Shane will fucking destroy me. He's a fucking tank. Well, it's teams of two. Okay, nice. I'm going to get in there, though. I'll get back into my drinking shape.

Yeah. You've got this. Guzzle beers? I used to. Yeah? No, I'm more of a weed guy these days. Oh, really? I'm more of a weed and dick pills guy these days.

That's my cocktail choice. A little Lamar Odom? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little Lamar Odom. I'm a little Lamar Odom. Go there, boy. It seemed like it stopped my heart. Yeah. Oh, there have been some close calls. Lamar Odom Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Lamar Odom He's killed our boy It seemed like it stopped my heart

Yeah Oh there have been some close calls Like am I about to die In a fucking Holiday Inn Express in Tampa Cause I Cause I wanted to fuck a Anyway

I have to get into exactly who it was But Alright well I did try and fuck an old lady in Tampa But that's a story for a different It didn't work unfortunately What do you mean Your dick didn't work, unfortunately. What do you mean?

Your dick didn't work? No, she wouldn't come back to the hotel. We made out on a bench, though. That's fine. That was cool. Did you get a handsy at all? A little bit. How old is old?

Don't say 35. Don't say 35. No, no, no. Come on. She was early 60s. Okay. Mid 60s, maybe. It's pretty old. Here's the thing. She was old. No, no, no. Come on. She was early 60s. Okay. Mid 60s maybe. It's pretty old. Here's the thing.

No, she was old. Believe me, brother. I'll put it this way. After we made out, on the way back, my mouth was numb, and I'm pretty sure it was from like denture cream. Oh, no. Glue? You're just hot off her denture glue?

Oh, no. How about her? What was her body type? What was her? She was slim, but I will say. Hips intact? Hips intact. I didn't feel a screw.

I didn't feel any aluminum reinforcing it. But I will say I did get a little handsy, and there was like where you'd expect firmness, there was a sliding situation. Even though it was just skin. I was like, oh, interesting. This is a different. And I was just like, I was like oh interesting this is a different and I was just like I was like open I wasn't headlining anything I was opening for Bob Bobby Kelly my guy he's the

funniest guy in the world he was he would like let me open for him and he had some friends in we'd usually just like hang out and like you know get food afterwards but he had some friends in Tampa and I was like left to my own devices that evening. And this, there was like just during the show, there was just some fucking idiot that was ruining the show. Just being like, woo, ha, like yelling out. It was so annoying. And it was that lady. What?

Oh no. And then she, like her friends left her and she was just alone on a park bench. And I was just talking to her and I was just like literally just killing time until the Uber came. But the Uber got lost. And it was like he was spinning around.

It was like 13 minutes. So I'm like really chatting up with this woman. And she started giving me like the look that like, you know, a girl gives you when she wants you to kiss her. And then I was like, oh. I was like, not every old woman is a grandma. Yeah. Some of them. It's like sometimes whores just get old. You know what I mean?

I think her friends came to, I tried to get her in the Uber. She wouldn't come. And I think her friend, her friend was watching from the parking, I don't know what the fuck was going on. But I was like, the Uber came up and I was like,

what do you say? I gave her one of those. Kind of a non-committal to you. And she was thinking about it, but I think she had a friend looking for it. Either way, I'm kind of glad. It would have been funny to get at least sucked off by her, but I don't know what else I could. Or to suck her off. Right.

That's true. That is true. I guess I could have sucked her off. Reinvigorated it a little bit. With a Werther's original. I know what the word is, original? I guess I was in a very exploratory time in my life. I would have liked to see it. And look, I'll fuck an old lady today.

I don't care. You guys know any hot ones? We'll send them your way. Yeah. That's his grandmother. He doesn't even talk to, so... Really? That wouldn't matter, right?

Do you look like her? No. She's also like 90. He doesn't even know her name. Wow. What the fuck? When's the last... They saw each other on the street.

We talk about this all... And they walked by each other. It's such an uninteresting story. Oh, it's very interesting. It's interesting to me. Yeah, no, it's interesting to everyone except Seth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He saw his grandmother.

He's not your college freshman year roommate. You know what I mean? Like, hey, I've... He locked eyes. I know my college freshman year roommate better than her. Was she abusive? Why don't you like her? No, I just? I know my college best friend better than her. Was she abusive? Why don't you like her? No, I just don't know her.

Like, he was my weirdest not close with my family. Vibes are off? Yeah. Okay, okay. Which side of the family, if you don't mind me asking? My dad's. Is your dad a piece of shit? No.

Your dad's cool, but you don't know his mom. My dad's cool. That's why he doesn't want us to know them. Oh, sums off. Yeah. He asked his dad about it and he was like well some whores just get old yeah all right well that's the show that was a great way to end yeah beat that all right uh tune into staves yeah june 5th baby sunday sasta stand up

hell yeah i've seen you we've been yeah. He wanted to do a couple of jokes for you. There's no way he wants to. I know that's the last thing in the world he wants to do. Listen let's go back

and talk about fucking his grandma. Let's show the man some respect. All right. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Intern day.

Thank you Stav. Thank you. Just work here. Let me pop on. Yeah. I'm having a blast. Yeah. Just start showing up every day

I might dude if there's cake every day thanks man thanks yeah I had a little fucking it's the act

it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act We'll see you next time. Bye.