The Yak - Steven Cheah Found the World's Largest Napkin | The Yak 4-22-24

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Free Kisses. Just Ask.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Hello, welcome in. It's the Yak. Promo code Yak on Roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code Yak.

20% off your first purchase. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Hello, everyone. Nick. Hello. What? Igers, shorts. Hello, everyone. Nick. Hello. What? I like those pants.

Thanks, man. Yeah, they're green for Earth Day. Oh, my hat. Yep. My hat is green for Earth Day. That's right. Speaking of which, Titus, bud, what's going on? No holiday spirit?

We only have one planet, everybody. Do your part to save it. Please recycle. This is so great because this is the moment where it's too much. It's too much. This is the worst idea I've ever had. That looks so uncomfortable. Bad idea.

Bad idea. You got to wear this for the whole. So uncomfortable. Oh. Bad idea. Bad idea. Yeah. You got to wear this for the whole. Let's do a long one today. Yeah. Let's have him run the gauntlet. Yeah. The arm come outs are so sharp.

This would be a great day to get wet. I don't know. It would fill up. You'd drown. I got the lid on. Oh. Yeah, you do have the lid on. He has the lid on.

You thought of everything, man. You look great. And you just ordered a can, right? That's not like a pre-con. No, yeah, I just went to Home Depot and bought this. Did some work on that thing. Everywhere is a costume store. Wait, you can't put on your headphones?

No. I would be freaking out. I hate tight spaces like that. I don't know if I'll leave this on I think you're gonna have to Fuck Yeah Well alright

No if you don't want to leave it on Maybe Maybe we You take it off And you put it somewhere And then you get in it And just have your dick dangling out Oh yeah

That's a good idea Until someone That would be some Snatch your penis That would be funny To be naked in Yeah Yeah I completely forgot

It was Earth Day To be completely honest Yesterday I think yesterday Like someone tweeted at me Like can't wait to see What you wear tomorrow And I was like fuck

And I scrambled And this is what I came up with I I Forgot it was Earth Day And I spent Saturday Picking up trash from my kids I thought we were just like

I thought one of them Did something wrong Yeah community service Yeah Now it all makes sense Today was Earth Day and I spent Saturday picking up trash from my kids. I thought we were just like, I thought one of them did something wrong. Yeah, community service. Yeah. Now it all makes sense. Today's Earth Day. There it is. Do you guys ever have to do that? What? Get in trouble and go pick up trash and an orange fucker ever had to get in trouble? It's not community service. It's like court mandated. That's community

service. That's community service. If it's court mandated, it's not out of the kindness of your heart. Therefore, I think it's more of a punishment. You get the punishment's community service. I think it's court mandated community service. If it's court mandated, it's not out of the kindness of your heart. Therefore, I think it's more of a punishment. I think you get the punishment's community service. I think it's court mandated community service or just community service. Okay, true. Okay, I did it court mandated. You did court mandated?

Were you a little troubled boy? Yeah, freshman year of college, I got like four underages. And then they were like, go pick up trash on a highway. Yeah. That's very dangerous. Ours was you had to pick up shit at a highway yeah oh that's very dangerous ours was you had to pick up shit at the dog shelter oh you had to clean spray out cages oh yeah you get the but i never i never got it i was a good boy you know that's that that does suck that job does

suck but sometimes you get in a rhythm with that hose and hose is fun yeah pressure a pressure washer oh yeah the i'm re-watching the OJ documentary right now, and when he got arrested for domestic violence, probably good, like, hey, there's something wrong here. He had to do community service. He just ran a charity golf outing. Ah. Yeah.

System hard at work. That's a good one. Real good. He's had his friends play golf with him. Called the community service So what's up everyone? Nick I have a present for you What?

I have a couple boxes for us I have a box You have a box too? Liam Blutman, his brother Luke gets here tomorrow Oh this is when we have The three Blutmans Is he coming with ashes? Oh my god Oh this is when we have the three Blutmans? Is he coming with ashes? Oh, my God.

Oh, this is ashes? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Oh, my God. But I feel like we should have all three together on the show tomorrow. Yeah, and then we'll unbox it. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, good call. We'll do Ash Wednesday. Yeah, but there he is. That's him right here. That crazy motherfucker. This is him. Yeah, Ralphie. I've been tossing him to people in the office and then telling them what it is.

Ralphie boy. Ralphie boy. Okay, so he's with us. Is this the first dead person we've had on the act? Almost certainly not, right? Surely we've had a dead guy. Have we had somebody that's been on the act that's died after? Ray Romano?

OJ? Is Ray Romano dead? I'm sure one of the callers has died. Do you think? I hope Scott Penis is still alive. I think Gar's okay. No. Huh.

Huh. I don't think so. I think the Reason guy ended up being a serial killer. Who? Oh, the guy that got Reason? Yeah. I've always wanted to do an interview and just save it until the person dies, but that's probably fucked up, huh?

Yeah. We had our one chance when we interviewed Tommy Lasorda, because he was basically dead. Yeah, you'd have to do a really old person. Yeah. Who would you draft right now as your old interview? Oh. Like, find someone who- We've lost Bob Barker. Betty White's gone. Who's- draft right now as your old interview? Ooh. Like find someone who... We've lost Bob Barker. Betty White's

gone. Who's... Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood? Clint Eastwood's looking rough. Gene Hackman. Gene Hackman's looking rough. That's just not Gene Hackman. That also was fucked up. They were trying to say that like, oh, he's a repeat dresser. So am I. Every fucking weekend I wear the same thing

over and over. Yeah. And it wasn't even like back-to-back days. It was like a week. A week later. It's called laundry. Dick Van Dyke we found out was alive. Oh, that's shocking.

He's still kicking. Dick Van Dyke's still alive? Yeah. He looked old when he was young. Maybe take a flyer on Magic Johnson. I don't know. I think he's good. I think he's probably living to 200.

Yeah, when he dies, will it be because of AIDS? I don't think so. He's had it for 33 years. Did he really have it? Does he really? I'm in on the conspiracy that they needed a famous person to do it. Nobody's volunteering to be the AIDS guy. He retired.

He became like this billionaire businessman afterwards. They tapped his shoulder. AIDS for cash. How old's Dick Van Dyke? 110? He's got to be 90. 1000? I don't think he's 1000. Alright, fuck it. Who's Dick Van Dyke?

He had a show called The Dick Van Dyke Show. He just got lucky because his name was awesome. Yeah. Nowadays it would be Dick Outback. Yeah. Dick Van Dyke. I have a gift for you, Nick. Oh, cool.

I want you to have it. It was given to me. Is it a knife? No. Is this ashes? No. Tell them what that is. No. Can I feel it first yeah yeah no way yeah what how did you is this that's key to a city it's a key to clark's yes oh my god this is the best yes you got the key to clark's i got the key to call you had it for two days, and now you're giving it? I'm giving it to you.

Oh, my God. I have Clarksburg. You have Clarksburg. Oh, my God. The mayor was a great guy, also the starter at the local golf course. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's perfect. Congrats.

Thanks, man. He literally was like, if you guys ever want to golf, I'm the starter at the court. You want to put it on your key chain? I want to put it on my carabiner. Yeah. You own Clarksburg now. I have Clarksburg, and I can do with it what I want. Didn't you say bad things about Clarksburg?

Mm-hmm, but it's mine now. Oh, shit. Mark Plutman just texted me. He said, my pop's ashes still beat D-Lo on the gauntlet. We might have to do... Someone might have to wear it. Wear the ashes? Yeah.

Like a baby carrier? Yeah, we should have to wear it and see what we can What the time could be I can bring the Nuna in Yeah Put him in there, yeah Look at that Wow That's great

Wow That's fucking awesome Wait, let me take a picture of that They have a gold penis That man's awesome Dude, you gotta go to Clarksburg You're the mayor now I could walk in any Anywhere You also have to be at clarksburg you just you're the mayor now anywhere you also

have to be at the golf course at 6 a.m for the first tee time oh actually probably five yeah the car's ready yeah best thing that's ever happened to me thank you dan you're the mayor of clarksburg city's mine clarksburg was cool yeah all right it. I can say whatever I want now. It was a nice city. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. That's home of Jimbo Fisher. Oh.

I didn't know that. West Virginia is sneaky. You got a lot of football coaches, right? Oh, yeah. Saban and Jimbo, but I don't know. That's sneaky. My Bob Huggins daughter was there. I said hello to her.

All right. How's Bob doing? Not well. Yeah, not well. Yeah, not well. I don't think well. Is he doing the golf thing? Because I know he has trouble with his drives.

Oh. Dave got nervous because I think there's a hospital that Bob Huggins, like he basically got cornered to donate to a hospital the Bob Huggins was building but Dave was like I was building a hospital well he was but Dave was like I'll donate when you guys break ground like I'm not gonna just donate to whatever you know I mean like you break ground then I'll donate and I don't think they've broken ground but he was like Huggins here he's gonna mention the five hundred thousand dollars well yeah because dave got pressure into donating to huggins before and then huggins on twitter was

trying to get barstool to buy the coliseum yeah that's right we should have yeah should have bought it fuck how you doing brandon good shirt it's a good monday shirt great shirt we were at dinner great monday friday night oh yeah let's hear let's hear because we have a we also have to get into oh you're going right into this yeah let's go i told you i couldn't wait so you guys oh you guys went to the tim mcgraw tim mcgraw concert in milwaukee just a nice little date between the guys well we had women with us. Oh. Well, yeah, I was with two, and you came. As well. Yeah.

Yeah. So there we are. Yeah. Did you ever leave? He made me wear the bandana. Did you ever go to the bathroom and leave Nick with your wife? Sure did. In fact, Nick took my wife to the bathroom once. I sure did, because you got back.

I just got back. And then she was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And you took her. Well, yeah, because I thought you would have. Yeah, but the bathroom. And you were like, but because you got back, and then she was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And you took her. Yeah, because I thought you would have. Yeah, but the bathroom. You were like, but I just got back. The bathroom was one door outside the, it was, the bathroom was 25 feet away. It doesn't matter.

You always walk with them. Yeah. Always. I took my wife to the bathroom. Yeah, we're gone. 45 seconds? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so go ahead. Tell the story um we were at dinner okay we had we went to mater's oh you did go to mater's we weren't going to go to mater's we tried every spot around there we tried all the sports bars because he wanted curds and uh they were all they all had an hour wait so we ended up walking to mater's and they said that we'll seat you immediately. So we went and sat. Mater's doesn't have curds? Mm-mm.

They didn't have curds. They might have had curds. I didn't see curds. They got shanks out the wazoo. They had shanks. I had a shank. I had a pork shank. How do they not have curds?

And Nick takes the menu, and he orders him. This isn't, I don't know if this is going to land. It's not going to land. I know it's not going to land. No, no, no, but you're already halfway down. The menu had a cool gothic German pause. No, no, no, no, I got this. I got this.

And I misread one of the words to the waiter and made a fool of myself. There was a 100-year old-fashioned drink that he wanted to drink a manly drink, but he thought it said pear instead of year, so he ordered the 100-pear old-fashioned drink. Then why was it a pear? Can you imagine that? I can't get it. Can you imagine that? There was not a single pear. Oh oh you must have felt stupid you know how bad it feels to be

talked down to and from a man in lederhosen what did you say and then i said it again and then he said that says a hundred year oh oh it was the worst and i still had to get it and there was no fruit taste whatsoever. That's brutal. I had three. That's brutal. And then we went to Tim McGraw and had a good time. That's it? Yeah. That's pretty much it. Tim McGraw, very good shape.

Handsome, jacked. Two years older than Brandon. Whoa. Is that true? I think you could achieve that. He was wearing a sheer ass shirt You could see both his nipples And he looked hot

What's Tim McGraw's big song? I went skydiving Come on I like it, I love it I like it, I love it I want some more of it There you go He's got a bunch of big songs

Is it Country Boy Summer? Yeah, it's Country Boy Summer I'm going to see him again I want some more of it. There you go. I tried. But he's got a bunch of big songs. But yes, those are the big two. Is it Country Boy Summer? Yeah, it's Country Boy Summer. It's Country Boy Summer. I'm going to see him again next month. Where? Chicago. Oh.

He's at United Center on May 31st. Wow. I'm going to go. I enjoyed it. Because I had to decide whether I take my wife to this one or my daughter, who's also a big fan. So I'm going to take my daughter to the next one because I took my wife to this one. Nice.

And she got drunk. Yeah. Your wife did did i went and got drinks and i ordered his wife she probably was nervous two doubles yeah oh yeah yeah oh you bought her drinks yeah i bought her two doubles that's a date that's a quad wasn't really a date i mean i was right there i was standing there uh the spurs didn't fit on my shoes uh--huh. A shame. So they were left in the hotel room. Tim McGraw looked dead at me and I was wearing that stupid bandana. You looked awesome in that bandana. Can I see a picture of you? It was just there with us. I was wearing the bandana.

Oh, you look good. Yes. You guys look like you're a couple. Yes. Yeah, you went for the older guy. Sugar daddy. Brandon's hiding all his hickeys. Oh, man.

And then Brandon was using mine as a leash. The young calf and the old bull? Yeah, that's right. He walked me to my seat. Which was his lap. So that sounds like a fun Milwaukee excursion. Milwaukee's a good town. It is.

It's a very good town. Really good town. We also had someone time. Milwaukee's a good town. It is. It's a very good town. Really good town. We also had someone else on the show go to Milwaukee, and I don't know where to start. Oh, yeah. I don't know where to start. Crispy fade, Che. First of all, I was in the boat in the sun yesterday when I looked at that picture. I did think it was a spill.

I know. Yeah. Because I was hoping it was a spill, too yeah because i was i was hoping it was a spill too but it was steven where would you like to start i mean we have a video of you eating a hot dog with your own yep that was an ad anything for the for the advertisers you also look at this what advertiser was that game time oh they require the hot dog lady the tramp style i just threw up an Instagram story. But yeah, I guess you could deep throat instead.

And then we have the... This one. Just go ahead. Just you say whatever you want to say. Maybe have a visual aid for this one. Okay. You didn't bring one back? Come on.

No space. Oh, you did. All right. All right. All right. So introduce it and then and then show it all right so uh rowan's pretty hooked up at these bucks games oh it's a napkin yeah you know well he knows there so we got into this um well yeah he has a podcast with a player on the team

yes but he knows like all the people that work in the the suits and the marketing and all that stuff so uh in the client relation so we got how is that shocking to you well i'm just saying we got to the special area for halftime and it was some type of lounge and they had uh terrific jalapeno poppers and a bunch of other stuff um okay and right when i went up there's plates and napkins and the napkins biggest napkins i've ever seen in my life so uh I told Rowan, I said, hey, just take this picture of me. I was like, this is going to be big. Look at that big square in the napkin. Yeah, so Brandon thought this was a spill.

I thought that was a spill. Oh. Yeah, which would have been awesome. I don't know if that's why he got the napkin. He peed his pants upwards. He had a tucked boner in his fist. My favorite, there's another video of him watching the game

then that a fan took from above and he's still just on his own no one recording it that he knows of yeah look at this excitedly showing the napkin

showing it wrong he's like look at this napkin dude he's so poor alright Steven so bring it out here okay so actually

just so you guys can see I just opened a standard fork knife. Well, those are always small. You understand what big is. Sure. I'll show you this, and then I'm going to show you the Milwaukee Bucks napkin. Okay, okay. Those fork and knife napkins are bullshit. Yeah, those are shatterable.

It's not a napkin. It can't absorb. It can't wipe. Yeah. All right. All right. Bullshit- Yeah, those are like shatterable. It's not a napkin. It can't absorb. It can't wipe. Yeah. All right. Bullshit ass napkin. That's your standard napkin. Yeah.

The fork knife. Okay, so everyone can see it. This is a standard napkin. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down over here. Sit down over here.

In person, that looks like a regular napkin to me. We'll go from Kyle to Stephen Chay to Scramming Napkins. I think you just, this is the first time you've ever been like in a nice place that has just better quality napkins. I mean, it's the same quality. It's just huge. All right. Unfold it.

All right. This is massive. This is massive. That's a napkin. This is the size of my torso. It's a napkin. Let me hold it. That's a napkin. It's huge. Most napkins are folded. Yeah, no, this is just a napkin.

I knew you guys were going to say, it's massive. It's a napkin. It's a napkin. Yeah. TJ, bring up my latest retweet, please. What? Who? This is just, this is actually like any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any,

any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, any, a napkin yeah tj brant my latest uh retweet please what who this is just this is this is actually like any this is what the napkin looks like i would never this is a napkin no you folded it in half oh kool-aid killer 22 oh that's who we're using as your witness here this is this is how this is how it was it was set it was set like this retweet why would you ever unfold the napkin in the first place this it was in my pocket right but you wouldn't that wasn't an answer to that question we all have to find if i'm on chase side it's decent size napkin all right i'll find a bigger nap we have to find a bigger napkin at a sporting event this summer all right so get uh let's get a thumbtack. Put it on the wall. All right. Yep.

That's the standard for the napkin. And this is how it came. It was not like this. We understand how napkins work. You are talking down to us a bit about the napkin. Yeah. We've seen napkins. This is what it looked like.

Have you ever judged a place's napkin before? You've been like Madison Square Garden said this is an average-sized napkin. Or was this the first time you felt struck to talk about the napkin milwaukee bucks arena brand new really nice we were like five rows off the court we were in some really nice places as soon as i saw this thing i was blown away can we get it was this we were in that building friday night it was these weren't everywhere. This was in one specific area. If you went out and got hot dogs, you couldn't get this. Yeah, you forgot the fact that Roan somehow got hooked up.

Yeah, with napkins. See if Roan can zoom in. So you think that's the napkin of the elite? Do you think the wealthy are used to that napkin? And to do this on Earth Day. Wow. In fairness, it was yesterday. Right in his face. Did you use the napkin? I used one of the nap Day. Yeah. Wow. In fairness, it was yesterday. Right in his face.

Did you use the napkin? I used one of the napkins. I brought it. And then you just grabbed one. You got an extra for no reason. You just grabbed an extra as a prop just because? For a prop, yes. Because I knew we were going to talk about this today.

For a little bit of attention. Yeah. That's like one whole tree. You took twice as many as you should have taken. Right. Yeah. I had got a little bit of the jalapeno sauce on mine, so I just dabbed it and threw it out.

Thank you for showing us what dabbing is. So you didn't need that much napkin? No, I took about four. No, I'm saying you didn't need that much napkin for your little sauce. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we got to get to – I want to talk to Roan. I want to see what –

Yeah, I'll get a thumbtack. I'll put this up by the end of the show. Okay, great. Thanks, guys. Can you tell Connor to come in here too? He took the bistro. Yeah, I know. I end of the show. Okay, great. Thanks, guys. Can you tell Connor to come in here, too? He took the bistro. Yeah, I know. I told him he could.

Okay. Because I felt bad because he's like... Bistro-less? Kind of looked at me like, I don't have anywhere to sit in my apartment. He does seem... And I was like, well, that probably is a problem. He does seem like he lacks direction now. Because of no bistro?

Yeah, I think that bistro might have been the centerpiece of his life. That was the centering thing in his life. He would come home, he would go straight there, he would eat. He's got Coulter now. Now he doesn't. Yeah, but Coulter. I love that we have random just yak people walking around Chicago. I ran into Two Phones Brett on Saturday.

No way. Oh, really? I bumped into Barstool Barstool. Yeah. Well, he stalks us. Oh yeah yeah it was in my apartment connor yeah two phones brett like he came up to me he's like what's up big cat and i was i thought it was just a regular and then he was like it's two phones brett oh shit man my bad connor hello no oh my god came in connor's bistro free kisses just ask that's awesome yeah it is thank you so much so do we have to do we need to buy my bistro for this well that's the napkin wall now oh that is the napkin wall i will put that up in my apartment

you could also just wear it as a necklace. Yeah. I'm going to get his head in there. No, that's not. No, it's not. No, I can't get your head in there. Wait. He's got a helmet.

No, we need another string. You need a necklace to hook to the, yeah. Yeah. Wait, let me put that on my carabiner. What are you doing? That's not the napkin wall. That's the napkin wall. What the fuck?

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, that's the napkin wall? I mean, if you're going to do the smallest wall, you're trying to make the napkin look bigger. Yeah, you are. Wait, you've got to put it out the whole way. Stephen Chay really took your bistro. Like, you have to unfold

it all the way. You guys got no shot. We'll see, buddy. Titus, look at this. Turn around and look, Titus. Look at this, Titus. Alright, well, yeah, we've got. Turn around and look, Titus. Look at this, Titus. All right. Well, yeah, we got to find a place for that. Okay. Or, yeah, I'm going to bring my beach.

You want it at home? I'll put it up at my apartment. I'll send a picture. What happens when you bring a lady back? Just have to have a beach. Yeah, it's kisses time. Yeah, that's plural kisses. Yeah, I know.

I'd be down. That is, yeah, you would just, that would actually be consent right there. In a way, yeah. Well, unless's plural kisses. Yeah, I know. I'd be down. That is, yeah, you just, that would actually be consent right there. In a way, yeah. Well, unless she doesn't ask. Well, it's kind of like, oh, this is going to sound bad, but like when we have like an event and you put up a sign that says if you're in the vicinity

you can be filmed, like there are cameras around, it's like free kisses. Oh, I'll get that sign for your house too. Yeah. If you're in this apartment, you're liable to get fucked. A little crooked. A little bit. Is that bothering you? A little crooked.

I mean, if we're going to display a napkin, are we displaying it? Does it look that big? It's not that big. It doesn't. It's a napkin. It's not that big. Yeah, you probably shouldn't put it on a wall. I mean, walls are big.

What's Mook doing? He's going to fix it. Thank you, Moog. You're not the napkin hanger. Yeah, yeah. You did fix it, though. Thank you, Moog. Good job. That a boy.

Way to go. Everyone's got to find a napkin in the wild. Does it have to be a sporting event? No, it can be anything. You can't go to a napkin depot. No, you can't buy the napkins. It has to be organic. Just throw it in.

Yeah, thank you. Can we rule out any cloth napkins? Wait, what? Why? A steakhouse cloth napkin. That doesn't count. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. Paper napkin.

I think I can find bigger. This is now. I think we did it. I think I can find bigger. Yeah. This is now. I think we did it. I think we found the most boring challenge of all time. Yeah, we've done it. Who can find the largest napkin? The Barstow Yak napkin. Yeah.

Like, what's the thing that could get our fans least excited? No, no, no. We will get DMs from, like, and south dakota and vermont saying you gotta come see this you gotta come see i'll travel for a big napkin well barbic i'm thinking of messy food places probably have to have oh yeah oh yeah i know we just did the barstool film festival which the the actual film festival is going to be on friday after the act but like we should maybe rewrite goodwill hunting. Like, got to go see about it. Someday I hope you're just not here because you found a bigger napkin.

I'm going to go make that meme right now. Okay, all right, nice, nice. Yes. So wait, all this... You've seen photos of big napkins, but have you ever smelled the inside? Yeah, you could go to any library and photos of big napkins but have you ever smelled the inside yeah you could go to go to any library and read up about napkins this whole ordeal connor griffin ended up coming

out of this with uh with the same bistro in his house a new friend and he has a free kisses sign for yes and we'll probably buy a bistro here i don't want that sign in his house i want it here yeah it needs to be here one over because that's not connor's sign in his house. I want it here. It needs to be here. Because that's not Connor's corner at his house. He has all the corners. That whole apartment is his. It would be funny if he didn't. Yeah, maybe we should take a corner from him. We should be like, Connor, we're going to need this corner.

I would love to start buying pieces of people's apartments. Yeah. We could do what we want with them. We'll sublet one of Connor's corners, and we could put whatever we want in there. Whatever. Just one day we show up with a big oil drum. Hang on. It sounds like a body's in there.

Put this in the corner, Connor. Don't open it. Do not. He's not allowed to go in the corner. Yeah. Can I ask what's in the big box? Oh, yeah. I think these are just, I also have a smaller box, which. What? not allowed to go in the corner yeah um can i ask what's in the big box oh yeah so i got i think these are just i also have a smaller box which what's this that's the the chinese yo-yo oh yeah

we got all of our yo-yos we're gonna prove to brandon that he's an idiot yeah no i want to see you yo-yos like his yo-yo as well as you say you can yo-yo. No, I just want to take practice. You open this box. Why do I have to open this box? It's heavy as fuck. Open the box. Do you have a cutter? Who's this guy?

I don't know. Who's that guy? Who's that guy? He's got a sleeve. Knee sleeve. Whoa, are you hurt? No, I'm... It's over. Are you hurt? No, I'm It's over

Are you hurt? It's over Tim McGraw, bro I can't see anymore I can't move Do you know how to use these, TJ? Yep We're gonna have to have you use it

What are you doing? What's going on? That's very thickly wrapped Alright, someone do Someone do the DraftKings read while we open some shit. DraftKings, the 82-game preseason is in the books, and it's finally time for the real season. Don't miss out on any of the NBA playoff action at DraftKings Sportsbook,

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here's something else to sweeten the deal to all new customers bet five dollars and get 200 bonus bets instantly new customers download the draft king sportsbook app and use code yak that's code yak to get 200 in bonus bets when you bet just five dollars only on draft kings the crown is yours. Okay, I got my yo-yo. Lift it. Is it heavy, Brando? Yeah.

What do you think it is? Do you have any guesses? Um, I actually don't know. Oh, you don't know either? It's something I probably bought on Amazon. Brandon, your fingers are touching the blades. I forget what I bought and then...

Yeah, you are. What? I know what that is. You can tell by that cursive. Oh, it's apple juice. Yeah. What? It's a lot of apple juice. Hell yeah. I don't know. I just bought a lot of apple juice. Let's swig.

Look at this. Why? It was just on my, like, do you want to also purchase this? Oh, that's the best kind. Martinelli? Yeah, six cases of apple juice. Oh, shit. That's the Rolls Royce of apple juice.

I bought it. I was like, we'll figure out something to do. So we should do an apple juice. They'll give you, like, diarrhea, right? Oh, big time. Really? Apple juice? Apple juice after you like diarrhea, right? Oh, big time. Really? Apple juice? Apple juice after I quit smoking.

Yeah. Sometimes I was. Go ahead. Sometimes I smoke a cigarette to help me take a shit. Sure. And I know. I know. Well, women be constipated.

They do. And then apple juice became my new. Your new cigarette. Yeah. What if you did apple juice and a cigarette? Oh, I've done it. Whoa. You can't deny that looks. Oh, he's making it and a cigarette? Oh, I've done it. Whoa! You can't deny that looks...

Walk the dog? Walk it, walk it. He's accomplished nothing so far, guys. But yeah, but yo-yoing is cool. Walking around doing that? Yo-yoing is not cool. There's nothing cool about yo-yoing. I think it's very cool. What about the guy who yo-yos and says he's going to kick everybody's ass?

That guy's really cool. Who's that? He's one of the fellas and he's very cool. What about the guy who yo-yos and says he's going to kick everybody's ass? That guy's really cool. That guy's awesome. Oh, yeah. Who's that? He's one of the fellas, and he's genuinely awesome. He yo-yoed? I thought he was just... Doesn't he throw a yo-yo down? He's like, I'm going to come for you.

Oh, that's... I'm going to kick your ass. I'm going to kick your ass. Yeah. He didn't yo-yo, did he? No. Yeah, he yo-yoed. Didn't he?

Yeah, he would yo-yo and say, I'm going to kick your ass. Ooh. Ooh. They thought it was me. What's his name? I forget. I don't know, but he was awesome. Didn't he do a video for you, I'm going to kick your ass. Ooh. They thought it was me. What's his name? I forget. I don't know, but he was awesome. Didn't he do a video for you that he was going to kick your ass?

No, he DM'd me and he said, ooh. And I've been afraid ever since. Yeah. I don't remember. Matthias? Donnie Matthias. Yes. Look at that.

That's cool looking. This is one of those things that you maybe joke about, but it becomes a little addicting. Like Hacky Sack, when you guys got into hacky sack oh there it is! there it is! holy shit! he didn't do anything! holy shit!

he just didn't land it holy shit! maybe can't yo-yo can you yo-yo? you said you could yo-yo yeah oh he pooped

oh yeah Johnny Mac don't litter oh see I need one of those though that's the one oh oh oh oh Oh, he pooped. Oh, yeah, Johnny Mac. Don't litter. Oh, see, I need one of those, though. That's a brain. That's what it is?

Yeah, I think it has a brain in there. All right, I got to get a brain yo-yo. I went middle, but then I switched to index. I don't know. Maybe I can't yo-yo? I went middle, but then I switched to index. I don't know. Maybe I can't yo-yo. I bet Chicago has yo-yo club. You think? Is that still a thing? Yo-yo

with brain? Oh, shit. Dude. Nice. I don't think it's a spinner. I think I got the wrong yo-yo. All right. I'll get a different yo-yo.

Yo-yo. I got two more yo-yos coming. Your arms are filling it out nicely. That's got to feel good. Yeah. Well, he made small holes. Listen. Sorry.

I didn't hear what he said it's okay is ron available the messages aren't sending him up in a plane i think he is on a flight yeah damn i really want to ask him some follow-up questions like how much of the rest of the night was about the napkin almost certainly all of it, right? Could you even watch the game or was it just all napkin? Steven, I guess you could answer this. It wasn't that much about the napkin. The video that someone took was we posted one game time video and then we were doing a second. So I was taping it about the napkin.

When did you discover the napkin? First quarter, second? Half time. Half time. So you were obstructing people's views with that giant ass napkin? Potentially for a couple of moments, yes. When did you discover it? It was during a time out.

When did you discover it was huge? Instantly. I came upon it and knew it had to be photographed. The more I look at it, the more normal sized it looks. Yeah. It's a regular napkin. Regular napkin. Yeah.

That's a napkin. It's a napkin. Maybe it looks. Yeah. It's a regular napkin. Regular napkin. Yeah. That's a napkin. It's a napkin. Maybe an inch bigger on all sides than a regular napkin. Can we grab, do we have any just napkins in the front? Yeah, the one I brought out there. That was the package. I knew what you were doing. We have bathroom napkins.

Not napkins. What are they? Paper towels. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Are you wiping your face with toilet paper?

No. They got them napkins in the bathroom. The paper towels. The paper towels. The little rolls. Yeah, the brown paper towels. Oh, the brown ones. That's the furthest thing from napkin. That's not the furthest thing from napkin.

A shoe is further away than a paper towel. No, that's the exact opposite of napkin. Actually,'s not the furthest thing from napkin. A shoe is further away. No, that's the exact opposite of napkin. Actually, a shoe I would use as a napkin before that. A paper towel is not the furthest thing. What about a rattlesnake? Closer to napkin. What about a blimp? Oh, that's actually a huge napkin. That's almost the cousin of the napkin.

What about an F5 hurricane? What's that? F5 tornado. What would you clean up water with? Yeah. I think there are more opposite things of a napkin than a paper towel. It's almost exact. It's yin and yang.

Yeah, you were wrong on that one. It's okay. What's the winner get of the biggest napkin? They get to keep all the napkins? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, it's one of those challenges we're going to do, and get to keep all the napkins? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, it's one of those challenges we're going to do, and then when we finish it, we're just like, okay.

We almost came super, or we did come super close to winning the 50-50. Yeah. Like, $84 off. 84 numbers. 41 numbers. 42 numbers off. Fuck. You okay, Ty? What's the most you've ever spent at like a Cubs game 500

okay the Toledo game that we went to I that was a lot I had 18 percent of the pot that was bad for as much money as it takes to get 18 percent of the pot 18 percent is not that much I know I didn't it didn't really register like I once For as much money as it takes to get 18% of the pot. 18% is not that much. I know.

It didn't really register. Do you guys ever play scratch-offs? Ever have a little, like, hey, I'm going to try to win these. I'll buy them, like a phase? Yeah. Oh, we had a week once. I once, yeah, in my head, thought there's got to be a winner in every role. There's got to have at least one big winner in every role so i just bought like i just stayed there and bought the entire role but turns out that's not true because the house always wins so you had just a i was like how much somewhere in

this role will be like a 10 grand scratch ticket yeah not true how'd you scratch it all off i just stood there and just scratched. Just forever. Yeah. Can they just scan them without you scratching? Yeah, you can. But that, what's the fun? Yeah, it's boring. What's the fun? Um, I have a, I have a, I have a bet I made with some friends

that I want to share, but I don't want to be judged. Okay. You're safe here. But no, I think the audience, I don't want the audience to judge me. I think the audience will judge me and i don't i will i'm not going to do it let's cut the mics and have a reaction put a poll up and and and say we'll say do you promise not to judge and yes and no and if it's yes by 75 i'll say it i kind of want to test the audience if there's more than 10 yeses we won't do it at all oh yeah yeah i like that because it's one of those ones that people like oh that's such a dick thing now it's it is

on the surface but it's not when i explain it but i don't want to i just don't feel like it's monday i don't feel like being judged so it's like 300 votes if there's 10 yeses and i will not be sharing the story. Oh, my God. No, but you want them to say yes. No, no. Will you judge? Do you promise not to judge? Yeah.

Oh. Not to judge. All right, you promise not to judge. All yeses. All yeses. So if we have more than 10 noes, I will not be sharing it. Will you at least carry one of us like into a corner and share it? Yeah, I can tell you guys.

Absolutely. We'll cut the mics and then you'll share it and then we'll only get our reaction. Yeah. Oh, I can. You know what I'll do? If we get more than 10 yes 10 no 10 10 yeah no no you want no we've already don't want to use it so much how are you phrasing it tj do you promise not to judge judge yes so we need if there's more than 10 no's i will not share it and if there's more than 10 no's brandon will not share it. And if there's more than 10 no's, Brandon, I will go and tell you it, and then you can.

Oh. Oh. Oh, dickheads. Dickheads. That's ridiculous. Oh, my God. You motherfuckers. So you just robbed yourselves of a good story.

It's an incredible bet. Oh, my God. It's actually a bet that would have been incredible for the, my yak brain was on when I went to dinner with my friends on Saturday. What a bunch of pieces of shit. That was... Try again. Try again, TJ.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it went over by seven times. They don't want it. They don't want it. They're going to judge the fuck out of you. They want more napkin talk. What's the closest we could get to unanimous? Like, we don't do a case race until it's 100 yeses

Huh You want me to go tell it to you Yeah We'll give him one more chance to vote Okay One more chance Yeah I think I'm hooked on this Yeah

Just I kind of like his idea of just taking the mics off And telling us all it's saying Well then But then the It's long enough that it would kind of suck. Well, that's what they're choosing right now. They're choosing silence.

True. Speaking of case races, Ronan's going to be back on Thursday, and it's his birthday. And Brandon's birthday was just two weeks ago. So we have the NFL draft show that night. I'm not saying do a case race then, but maybe a special.

We need to do one. We need to do one. It's been too long. Can we record? We've done so many before. Why don't we act like we don't know how to put them together? Because this is a doozy one with the Royal Rumble. Well, let's just do a normal one, and then we can build up to that one.

Okay. Let's just do the Royal Rumble. Do you for real promise not to judge? Okay. Yep. Fucking assholes. God. Yep. Fucking assholes. God damn it. How does yes got 115%?

All right, Brandon, I'll go tell you. Come on. All right. See you all in a minute. We'll sit here in silence. Okay. Have fun. Hmm.

What can we get close to unanimous? Titus Cockpick? That would, yeah. what can we get close to unanimous titus cock pick that would yeah i would i would put out a cock pick if the entire audience votes the same way okay if there's one vote one vote yeah one vote for no yeah do you want to see a cock pic for me? Yeah. If there's one no. Bear hard cock pic. His face will be in it, don't worry. I'll take it.

I'll take the photo, not the cock. But, yeah. It has to be 100% all. Yeah, this is... Yeah, throw that up be 100% all. Yeah. Throw that up to each. Why do I think there's a chance? Yeah. It just zooms up green.

I feel like there really is. I feel like. A bear hard cock. Bear hard cock. But with the recycling can on still. Tightest cockpit. Face has to be in it. Beautiful.

No! Oh, that's scary close. You know what's crazy? I was going to do it too. I was. You would have had to, you know? Oh, my God. That's way better than...

Yeah, the secret. Tightest cockpit. I love that. That's way better than Yeah the secret Titus cockpit I love that That's a funny graphic 34 Those people are not Those people need ostracized from society Imagine if Kyle found out

That Titus was putting out a cockpit Oh he'd fly home He'd fucking get on a flight right now. I'm sad Kyle's not here. I had wrestling questions for him. I started watching a little bit of the wrestling thing. How was it? It was wrestling.

Yeah. Yeah, it was just wrestling. Oh, here we go. He got me to watch. Brandon, tell me. Open up the top of the can. Well, Brandon, explain that it's a friend's bet. And it's a great bet. With your homies.

Okay. That inside your circle of friends you are going to dive into something and put one friend in a socially awkward spot incredibly awkward and then but then the audience is going to judge me for for um for any the socially awkward spot you're putting in is because you're dealing with another person the other person would be an outsider they would have to deal with it so then people like that's such a dick thing to do so i don't want to do it but there would be payment it's gonna be involved later it's gonna be incredible so we'd rectify it yeah so like it has like an impractical jokers

kind of vibe not as much no it's it's way more horrifically cringe-worthy. Ooh, okay. It's horrifically cringe-worthy. Oh, damn. Brandon, if you were in this situation, would it break you? Yes. You'd be able to do it. Yes, it would. Who here would it break? Actually, you'd be broken no matter what part of the situation.

The idea would break me. Yeah, the other four. If you were part of the other four, you would be broken as well. Yeah. I can't even imagine. And it's something you have to do in public? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Like when guys lose their mock whatever fantasy and they have to do something embarrassing? Very, very, very similar. Okay. Almost, yeah. Who here would it not break? Titus would be fine. Titus. Is it a cock pick?

Cock pick, yeah. We were just in here. We were trying to get a unanimous vote for Titus cock pit. Yeah. Pit. Bare, hard cock. Why would I not be broken? I think you handle socially awkward better than the rest of us.

What does that mean? That's a compliment. Yeah, you're used to it, dude. I think you have an iron stomach with these things. Yeah. You'd be able to handle it. I want to know. Thanks a lot.

But the chat is just mean. Kate, you won't be mean. Yes. I don't want to deal with it on lot. But the chat is just mean. Kate, you want to say? Yes. I don't want to deal with it on my own. Can we go? Fine, I'll fucking just say it. No, no, no. No, no, they voted.

Yaks are democracy. The chat doesn't deserve it right now. And just so we're clear, it's not like- It's also not that big of a deal. People are like, we don't care about big cat spits. It's not like we're betting on a game. No, it's not one of those. It's something that actually would happen on this show.

It's something- It's a very Yak-style thing. It's also something you guys could take and do with your own friend groups. But I wouldn't. Yeah. Okay, we'll move on. Let's move on. It's fine.

I want to hear it now. I'll tell you guys after. It's going to be fun. It's going to be tough. Should we give them one more poll? One more poll. One more shot? One more poll.

What? Now I'm addicted to the... Let's get a unanimous pull. Let's get a unanimous... If it's not going to be tight as cockpit. So nothing can happen to get a unanimous? There's always going to be one... I have an idea, but I don't want to say it.

You're going to throw... What? No. We could do a pull. Do you like mook? Yes or no? I knew it. That would probably go unanimous.

That one fighter. Yeah, Mook, you got called out at Rough and Rowdy. Oh, yeah. What the fuck was that? I was like hammered at a wedding. You could beat that guy up. So he just walked out and said, I want to fight Kevin Connolly and Mook. And Mook.

And Mook. Yeah. And he didn't fight well? Do I have a shot or no? You could beat him because he didn't. The guy who he's fighting said that he was like, this guy looks like he skips leg days. And then the fighter came out and he did have big muscles. And then he just proceeded to fall constantly.

He had trouble walking. He couldn't walk. His legs didn't work. I bet you'd be a sneaky good fighter. Yeah. I think Mook has a rage. Yeah. Yeah, no, I said no at first because I saw him walking out,

and then when I saw him fight, I was like, Mook could do this. Yeah, just based on the picture, the screenshot, I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's scary. Oh, God. Oh. Yeah, but he couldn't walk it was great i don't know if we have a clip do we have that's scary that caught me so off i don't know if we put any clips out of it but he just couldn't he wasn't able to stand up just kept on falling yeah i was like having fantasies in my head i was like if i ever

had to fight i would go back to philly and train with my brother like I was in Rocky. Yeah. I was like gassing myself up. Might have to do it. Be kind of cool. Would you do steroids? Yeah, for sure. Have to.

Yeah. Have to. 100%. Get so jacked. I think the steroids wouldn't work on me. I think I'd fuck it up somehow and just get even bigger tits. Well, you do have to work out Exactly

You can't just do steroids You have to work out as well I wish you could just do them I know You just like inject something and then you're just jacked Can't you now? No I don't think so I think you still have to probably put in a little work

You look so miserable Titus Yeah it's terrible. The edges are so sharp. Yeah. They're so sharp. Bad idea. Take it off. Thanks, man.

You need help getting out of that? Yeah, I mean, what does it matter if you take it off? It's just the earth. Yeah. Do a pull. We have other planets we can live on. Yeah, do a pull. Do a pull. Should he take it off can live on. Yeah, do a poll. Should we take it off?

This one might go unanimous. It might. Yeah, this could be unanimous. I am addicted to the polls. If it's unanimous, you have to wear it tomorrow. Yep. Fuck. If Cockpick didn't go unanimous,

nothing will. That's true. Bear hard. Bear. What else would it be if it wasn't bear? Condom? Sleeve? Bear means no pubes.

Yeah, bear means no pubes. Yeah. Really? B-A-R-E? Right? Yeah, that's bear. Bear, does Joey Kamast B-E-A-R be a lot of pubes? It means a lot of pubes. Yeah. B-E-A-R. It could be bear or bear? Yeah, that's bear. Bear. Does Joey come ask this stuff? B-E-A-R be a lot of pubes?

It means a lot of pubes. Yeah. B-E-A-R. It could be bear or bear. Oh, that's confusing. Yeah. It's tough. Yeah, see?

Yeah, it's never going to work. Okay, damn. Damn. There will never be... There's just some... Our chat is just a bunch of... I'm having trouble with the percentages. They're a bunch of rascals.

That's what they are. They're rascals. I like it. They're r bunch of rascals. That's what they are. They're rascals. I like it. They're rascals. Bunch of class clowns. Yeah. Stu's eulogy. Oh, man.

We should talk about it. Can we play some of it? Incredible. It was Stu Feiner. It wasn't shocking whatsoever. Yeah. It was still shocking. Was it, though?

I feel like it was exactly what I expected. If there was ever a time that he was not going to be Stu Feiner. No, I don't think he can. It's just that it's not in his bag. No. No. This is, by the way, for context, this is his father's eulogy. His father just passed last week, which I talked to Stu on the phone.

We're going to do a Howie Feer remembrance episode when Stu comes out next. He's going to get a bunch of pictures, tell some stories. I love it. So it'll be great. I also called Stu. I think he passed on Wednesday night. I called him on Thursday just to send my condolences. And then I was just on the phone for 20 minutes with Stu, him talking about his son's businesses.

Yeah. It was like maybe 30 seconds about his dad, and then it was just boom. Yep. son's businesses. Yeah. It was like maybe 30 seconds about his dad, and then it was just boom. Yep. Son's businesses. We should sit Shiva on here one day. For Stu's dad? Yeah.

Yeah, when he comes, when he's here next, we're going to do it. All right, so this is his eulogy to his father. From the time I was in 11th grade, when I took my wife to the prom, everything I touched turned to gold. I thank my wife for being there with me all the days, even up until now. I'm looking to throw a party, snort coke for the next three days, snort a pack of pot, fuck in the backyard.

You blow me in the black bathroom honey They used to have Small coconut sex in That's how I live He just was like He was on one path And he just like clicked He's like wait I'm Stu Fine

I gotta make sure that I I explain to people what I am Unbelievable Yeah And his dad was a great guy. He came around a lot. Great guy. So yeah, this is how we find our remembrance episode.

It's going to be great. I'm sure there's a lot of stories. I wonder if I probably, I think they buried him. I was going to say we are in the ashes. No, we can't. Can't get like a piece of him maybe, right? I only want ashes of strangers. Yeah. Yeah Yeah you're right

Well Plutman's not a stranger We've never met him Like loose ties kind of thing I'm just patting him right now I don't think I actually I'm breaking character here I don't think I want any more ashes

Okay Let's take that I'm breaking character here. I don't think I want any more ashes. Okay. Okay. Let's take that feeling. Let's bottle it. Let's throw it in an urn. No, let's talk it out. Why? You know, I thought it was funny.

Yeah. And then when you get it here. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. I'm going to agree. This is making me uncomfortable. It's a war. Is it heavy?

No. No. I'll toss it. I'm going to agree. This is making me uncomfortable. It's a war. Is it heavy? No. No. I'll toss it. He was in good shape. I'll give you a toss. Are you guys responsible? Because sometimes it just comes in like a bag. We didn't ask, by the way.

But I'm saying, are you guys responsible for choosing the urn that it goes in? The urn's in there, I think. Oh, it already comes with. I still can't. We should probably get him a more badass urn. Yeah. I can't make heads or tails of the situation. The Blutman's, Lukey, Mark, Liam, the ones that we know.

Is he going by Lukey? Yeah, I think so. That's tough. That's real tough. I love Luke, too. I would not call him Luke. But they all call him Lukey. Lukey is your nine-year-old right fielder.

Yeah. Lukey, get out there. We-year-old right fielder. Yeah. Lukey, get out there. We know you're not going to catch anything. The Blutmans that we know are a tight-knit group. They're a good, strong family. I didn't peg them as the kind that would send their grandfather's ashes to a podcast studio. But I respect the fuck out of them for it.

Right. I mean, what is life anyway? They're the type of good people where you don't even have to ask for their grandpa. They give you the grandpa. Well, like when's the last time you their grandpa off their back,

grandpa right off their back. When's the last time you went to go see your grandparents remains? You know, mine aren't as portable. Oh, you do. Oh, okay.

Very stationary. I was gonna say, you do? Oh, okay. Those are very stationary. I was going to say, some people are like, all right. Calvin's been dead for 20 years, though. Your grandpa's name was Calvin? Calvin. That rocks. Yeah, yeah. He was a high-ranking official in a certain society.

Huh? Calvin Walker? Yeah, that was my grandfather. What if we Googled that? That's a black man's name. Or the boy that's peeing. Or the pissing boy. That's a great name.

It's black or pissing. Yeah. No, he was law enforcement. Uh-oh. What law did they uphold? No, he was, well, I say law. He was a game and fish warden. Oh.

Yeah, so he would. Bust you up if you had too many fish in your boat. That was my first memory of going up and down the roads with him in his game and fish warden. Oh. Yeah. So he would. Bust you up if you had too many fish in your boat. That was my first memory of going up and down the roads with him in his game and fish truck. I do think he treated people like pure crap. But yeah, that was him. That's not. Yeah, that's him. That's Graham.

Not Mike. All right. You caught a fish, Brandon. I caught four fish yesterday. What? I caught a fish brandon i caught four fish yesterday what i caught four fish the fishing one each time the fishing has commenced no photos no no no i caught three small bass one average size crappie but i hung a good one i had a good one i had a good one right there bigger than the napkin i had a big one at the boat and and oh these are all the yeah there's kind of there's a white calvin walker i don't i don't think so oh i don't think so oh there he is grandpa intern oh there he is calvin walker yeah okay yeah Is this our next yak athlete? Yeah. Oh, Alabama. He's from. Okay.

Ooh. Do you have pictures of fish? No, because they were tiny and I was out by myself. Oh, I wanted to see the tiny, tiny. You never caught anything. As soon as I get home today, I'm going fishing, so I might have a picture for you. So somebody got in the DMs and gave me the right bait suggestions. I didn't know what baits to use, and they were right.

They were right. I hit four of them. What was the bait? Just a little swimming minnow. Just a little swimmer. Minnow? A little minnow with a tail that just flutters in the wind. Oh, that's beautiful.

Or the water, not the wind. I like what you're doing with that. Yeah, it just flutters. Is it an artifisherman? Artifisherman, yeah. Nice. How's he been? I like what you're doing with that Yeah just flutters Is he an artificer? Artificer yeah Nice How's he been? I actually hadn't talked to him

I hope he's not mad Because I took you to Mater's He might be Me and him were Planning a Mater's trip Very soon And we just We just accidentally went there

I know But I'll have to talk to him Will you snag me a cuckoo clock From there? From where? Materers? Yes. That would be very funny if he was mad that you went to Maters without him and not about us calling him Small Dick.

Have you mentioned that to him? Like giving him a slight heads up? Small Dick? No. But I am going to tell him right now that we went to Maters without him. Oh no. Because I did take a picture of my pork shank. It was a big pork shank and it fell apart. Yeah.

It just fell off the bone. I feel like you got to tell him the small dick thing. Because if he hears that from someone else. Oh, he'll be fine. He'll be fine about that. Don't be mad. You got to send emojis to each other. No, there's no emojis in here. Where's an emoji?

Oh, fuck. What emoji? Crying smile. each other no there's no emojis in here where's an emoji oh fuck what emoji crying smile oh art you cracked me up he emojied me i didn't emoji him is your phone on magnified you a magnified guy no oh the big text can you do that yeah oh no is your vision worse it don't i don't want to talk about it. Yeah, just that one emoji, though. Most of it is links to fishing batteries. Titus, you can take it off. Thank you.

I feel like we just don't have Titus on this show. No. Yeah. Take it off. We just didn't have Titus this entire show. How much does it suck? That sucks. That was your worst idea.

Well, here's what we should do. We should spin the wheel. Someone's got to put it on. Yep. I tested it for like 30 seconds last night, and I was like, oh, this isn't so bad. You sit down, and yeah, this is... I could feel how uncomfortable you were.

Unbelievable. Yeah, all right, spin the wheel, TJ. Someone's got to put it on. The fire department would have to cut Brandon out of that. If you get too big for a bin. God damn it! Yes! Back on.

Man, it's been fun. You know what, TJ? Every 10 minutes, spin the wheel. Yeah. Every 10 minutes. That was so perfect. I would love to see Gauntlet in it. Oh.

I don't know if it's possible. Do you think you can hit a three in that? What happened? Can you hit a three in that? Yeah, go ahead. I know he can do the soccer. He can probably do the bags. Football.

Baseball, tough. Baseball would be tough. Yeah. I might just have to do a Gauntlet. We probably do the bags. Football. Baseball. Tough. Baseball would be tough. Yeah. I might just have to do a gauntlet. We might just have to. It looks so funny. The three might be the toughest, though. Oh, no.

Yeah, you can hit a three. I don't think so. He's going to hit it. I can't see really good. Oh! Oh no, he can't do it. It can't be done. He's got that mantis shot.

I think he can. Underhand? I think he can do it. Oh no. Oh, you suck at shooting, dude. I made 45 this morning. 45 in a row? 45 out of 78 on the machine.

He's got it now. That's got to hurt so bad. He's got it now. TJ, do you have a timer for 10 minutes? We'll spin it and someone else can get in it. Or Titus keeps getting in it. Oh, yeah. Okay. There we go.

He looks so miserable. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, we'll have to do. What would you beat Jeff D. Love? I don't know if I can get in that. In a half hour, we'll have to do a Conley. Because he's narrow. He's a narrow guy, but he's filling that thing out.

His arms are screaming. I don't think me or you either can get in that. The arms are small. Mincy would get stuck, 100%. Yeah. Can we trick Mincy into it? No, his body's kind of like a cat. I feel like he can squeeze into weird. I went on vacation.

You didn't put anybody in a balloon while I was on vacation. No. Did we abandon that? No, we've put a pause to it. Actually, I specifically said we will not abandon it forever. We just need to get, someone was saying an air compressor. Yeah. Yeah.

Air compressor. Okay. Yeah, blower is the worst tool to use for that. We just got to spread out all these purchases of Home Depot where it's like, what are you doing? They don't think we're planning something. Are we planning something? Maybe. Do you want to plan something?

We got all the stuff. To plan something? I don't know. Is somebody doing a gauntlet? Why is Trey getting that ready? Yeah, we're going to do one in like 20 minutes. Whoever ends up on that. Well, let's spin two more times to see who goes.

Let's keep yakking. We'll spin two more times. Whoever ends up with it the second time we'll have to do a call with it all right i'm gonna pee i think that's fair you're gonna pee yeah i'm gonna go pee okay i'm gonna do an ad real quick about steven singers mother's day is coming up the moms in our lives put up with a lot sure some of us are angels, but others not so much. Toast to mom for all her hard work with Stephen's brand new 24-karat gold dipped rose in red wine. This deep, rich, burgundy color rose will go perfectly with the glass of wine she surely deserves. Stephen's famous 24-karat gold dipped roses are real roses preserved and dipped in pure 24-karat gold.

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only at I hate Steven Singer dot com what else did Steven have to say today springtime too short feels like spring is like two weeks I feel like it feels like forever it's been a nice spring yeah a great spring there's nothing better i actually think my perfect temperature is like 61 degrees and sunny yeah sweatshirt where you just get warm when you're walking around if you're in the sun you can take it off if not that's nice yeah that's beautiful can we do a jello draft oh okay j-e-l-l and an ingredient that makes you go oh oh and then it's in a mold it's in a mold. It's in a Jell-O mold. So everybody has to bring it in.

We might have to pre-record it. Yes. So it's like, you know, already made. Yeah. Can one of the things be an alcohol? Like Jell-O shots? Sure. Yeah.

You could put whatever in the mold. J-E-L-L and it's a five items. I love that. Yeah. We got to do a Jell-O. And then we'd freeze them overnight. Next episode, start by eating the molds. I love that. Yeah, we got to do a Jell-O. And then we'd freeze them overnight. Next episode, start by eating the molds. I love that. We should do that.

I ate so much Jell-O growing up, and I never make it now. I never see it. I ate Jell-O nonstop. What even is Jell-O? Is it bone marrow? I think there's bone marrow in it. P? Isn't it like pig?

There's some type of pig in it. Well, I thought it was like horse something. It's not vegan. I know that. I think it's like bone something. It's not vegan. I know that. I think it's like bone marrow. Well, how did Jell-O even begin? Right? Who started that?

That's got to be an accidental invention. Or it's like something, you know, everything usually is like, oh, well, it was like the Great Depression. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Someone created Jell-O being like, this is what we all will eat now. And you can reliquify it. It's powdered, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Take powder and put it in water. Yeah. That's how you make it. Because that speaks to your point about the Great Depression. Yeah. I feel like every powdered food was like- Yeah.

They're like, this is the food of the future. We'll never have to eat again. We'll just eat this. Yep. My poor snack growing up was apple cut into pieces and you sprinkle jello on it. The jello powder. Oh. I like that.

Oh. Yeah. Crafty. It's like one point on weight watchers gelatin i feel like in the 70s they were trying to make every like here's a savory there's a whole cookbooks for like oh that's also yeah yeah the 70s was like the this is the future of food oh brandon was telling me about his favorite salad growing up. Brandon. He's peeing.

He's peeing. When was it created, TJ? When did Jell-O, the actual company... Now, is the name Jell-O, the company? Yeah, is that the brand? That's the brand. It's like Popsicle. Yeah. My mom's mom, every holiday, used to bring a fancy gelatin bowl

that you would slice it like a cake, and it would have fruit and all kinds of stuff and layers. Yeah. It needs to come back. 1897. Damn. Old. Been eating Jell-O for a long ass time. Did Cosby kill it? Maybe. He killed pudding for sure.

Jell-O pudding pops. Look at this guy. What's his name? Pearl Bixby Wait. Pearl Bixby. Wait. Pearl Bixby. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Who's the more wait guy? Who? The guy that was yelling more wait when he was dying. Giles Corey. Oh, shit. Giles Corey. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Titus.

More wait. Brandon, what was the salad? Just a mean guy you are just push him just got caught what was the you ate pear salad growing up which was pears mayonnaise and cheddar cheese y'all ever had pear sure wasn't years salad so shut the fuck i didn't know if this was a southern thing or a poor thing, but I think I learned it's a southern poor thing. Okay. Pear salad. You have a pear.

You halve it. You have a halve it. You own a pear? No, no. You halve it. Halve it. And then you take the half of a pear. Like deviled eggs.

You put mayonnaise on top of it. You put shredded cheese on top of that, and it is fucking delicious. Is that a maraschino cherry? I remember when I was four years old, I remember eating that. We didn't put cherries on ours. It was just cheese, mayonnaise, and pear. I want the cherry. Can you send that to Donnie?

He'll make them for us tomorrow. How is that a salad? First of all, yeah. That's just what it's called. That's what it's called. I can't explain why that is good anything green salad it is good and i don't know that i ever knew it was mayonnaise i what'd you think it was i don't know that i thought it was anything i just ate it because it came on pear salad but that's not i never considered that's it yeah but again we didn't do the wait. Wait, what's the cheese?

It could be just shredded cheddar, just shredded anything. Is that a Roma tomato? Because cheese and pears go well together. Cheese and apples go good together. Cheese and apples go well together. There are no cherries. So I don't know. The mayonnaise is the part that's throwing me off.

That's white cheddar cheese, that's mayonnaise, and that's two pears. Oh, and the lettuce is just for garnish. The lettuce is not part of it. Salad was just a lettuce plate. The lettuce is not for it at all. I can't explain it. You and your wife were saying how much you loved them. They're good, yeah.

I haven't had one in probably 20 years. We're going to have one tomorrow. Do you think it holds up? Oh, is this going to ruin it for you? The taste in my mouth, it's coming back to me now no it's gonna be great i feel like you know how there used to be like payola where they would like a record and the company would pay the radio stations to play it yeah i feel like things like big mayonnaise back in the day would pay cookbooks like put this crazy recipe no but i think you use

mayonnaise and everything i think it's a depression-era thing in the South. It all circles back. Yeah. I think it's just they would just take whatever they had and make these. Scrap Jell-O snack. Let's all bring in a Depression-era meal. I got it. Let's do Depression Day. Yeah.

Yeah. We're not talking about when you're depressed, Luke. We're talking about the Great Depression. He had it. I got both. I know. Let's all get a signed one. We'll make it and bring it into a depression pot. Because another depression thing down there is dough burgers.

Okay. Oh, I hate that. Dough burgers, which is a little bit of meat and a little bit of dough mixed to make a burger. So wait, the ground meat is dough and meat mixed together? Is that what it's called? Slug burgers. Slug burgers. Slug burgers.

Slug burgers. It's called a slug burger. But it's got just a tiny bit of meat? Wait, I'm not following this. And something else. It's called a slug burgers. Slug burgers. Slug burgers. Slug burgers. It's called a slug burger. But it's got just a tiny bit of meat. Wait, I'm not following this. And something else. It's called a slug burger. It's a little bit of meat and a little bit of dough, I think, that make a slug burger. Can you look that up, TJ?

Slug burger? I don't think I'm making that up. Nick, why didn't you ever tell me about Mr. B's? Chips? Oh, I never had them. Oh, really? Yeah, they're just, yeah. I had them. Mississippi slug burger. There you them. Oh, really? Yeah, they're just, yeah. I had them.

Mississippi Slug Burger. There you go. Oh. Yeah. That's just a hamburger. No, it's not. That's not a lot of meat in there. That's a hamburger.

That's not. That's a Mississippi Slug Burger. It's literally a hamburger. One pound of ground chuck. Yeah. That's a hamburger. There's stuff in there. I don't know where it is to make the...

Well, my dad always put cornflakes in our burgers. Is that where we eat? There you go. They're just putting breadcrumbs and stuff in there to make it, to fill out the meat. Oh, we always did that. So the meat goes further? Yeah, that's to save on meat.

I think that would taste really good. Yeah, again, that's just a hamburger. Again, that's not just a hamburger. But it tastes probably exactly like a hamburger. Yeah, probably. That's what you do with like a meatball is you add like breadcrumbs into a meatball. Yeah, your meatball burgers.

TJ, can you look up like the craziest Depression-era meals? I like the name Slugburger. I do too. I was hoping it would be gross. There's a guy on TikTok that does like Depression-era sandwiches from like cookbooks from back then, and some of them are just like an onion with some grape jelly on a

cracker and that's a sandwich. Yeah, that's what we want to make. My grandma's was a tomato sandwich on white bread. Oh, that's a now era thing down south. Oh yeah, she grew her own tomato. White bread, tomatoes, and mayonnaise. I will dip onions

in seasoning salt. Time for someone to get in this. Oh, here we go. God damn it. The wheel has the ability to do the funniest thing right now. Wait, you might want to keep it on. No, no, no. He needs to take it off. Oh, my.

Uh-oh, buddy. Keep going. Oh. Oh, no. Mook, get on in there. Titus, welcome back. How is you, Mook? Welcome back, Titus.

And so whoever has it on by the end of the yak has to run the gauntlet. Yeah, this actually will make me claustrophobic. I don't know. The arms are small, I will say. Yeah, the arms feel like they should have been higher up. Mook, you look kind of cool today. I kind of fuck with this. This is nice.

Grandma, do it. Oh, my God. Creamy chipped. Oh, we had that growing up too, all the time. Meat and potato patties. Okay.

Yeah, I had that. These aren't bad enough. Maybe being soup. That's just a soup. Look up, there's an Instagram account, 70s dinner party,

that has like the kind of gelatin mold. Yeah. Heinous. What was that last one? I want really bad, yeah, depression meals. Oh, that's just good. That's at a wedding, yeah. Find the depression sandwich guy.

What is his name? Mook? Is it the Great Depression or just food he makes when he's depressed? That's a good point. Every meal's a good point yeah every every meal is a depression meal for moob it's been orange chicken recently okay and express pretty good chow mein makes me feel worse yeah oh yeah oh yeah isn't it crazy that like the great depression just changed an entire generation of people's like like i remember my grandmother used to she would just never she would always uh reuse tinfoil forever like it was like she had one thing of tinfoil

and that was it so she would never she would if she unwrapped it she would just use it for the next thing and next thing and bags yeah bags yeah my my other grandmother used to like when we'd go out to like a diner or something would get would just take all of the sugar and stuff it in her bag. Yep, freebies. Yeah. We got a freebie stocking every Christmas. When are you going to use this? A bath at grandma's, she would fill it up this much.

Yes. My boy dick would get wet. It's crazy to think about. Oh, did Jeff turn the lights off? My grandfather wouldn't keep the VCR on at night. No way. He wouldn't keep electronics plugged in at night. He would undo it all.

Unplug them all? Yeah. This is when my mom's mom passed. She had like, wasn't a hoarder, like super neat, but like had a lot of things. A hoarder. But they couldn't just like get rid of stuff because she had hidden money everywhere. Yeah. Like little bits here and there.

I feel like that generation did a ton of, which now I'm looking online. I think Jerry's right. Sounds like people should start doing that again. Yeah. Uh-oh. Sounds like it's coming. Yeah. If it was coming, they wouldn't tell us.

Well, there's rumblings. Start hiding your money in the house my uh my wife's like great uncle he passed away he lived in like uh like maybe 600 square foot house like terror like just lived in his whole life passed away and he had like three million dollars in the bank oh what it was just like what how he never took trips never did anything he's just scared that like Something bad would happen Damn Yeah A bunch of Jerry's walking around By the way Speaking of which

I need a clarification on a Jerry tweet Uh oh what did he tweet Let me get him in here You guys didn't see this Well Might have Might have. Nick, do the High Noon ad.

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High Noon, sun's up. Mm-mm. I had a few of those this weekend. Yeah. On the roof. I got something. Went to a wedding this weekend. You look good, by the way.

Thank you. How are you feeling? Not feeling great This is not helping at all Was in the wedding And I had to book my flight home I had to book it home early Because everything else was like connecting

Or like an extra 500 bucks So my flight home on Sunday Was at 5am So I went to the airport I didn't feel like putting my tuxedo back In like the hanger and stuff like that home on Sunday was at 5 a.m. Oh. So I went to the airport. I didn't feel like putting my tuxedo back in, like, the hanger and stuff like that. So I put my, I wore the tuxedo on the plane. Okay.

Went to the airport, like, blacked out. That's a good look. What time did you leave the wedding? We were done, like, 3 a.m., like, after. So you went right to the airport. Directly to the airport. Wow. Was, right to the airport. Directly to the airport. Wow. Was had to go through security three times through the scanner.

Because I kept on having pieces. I was just like I had no idea what I was doing. I was I was like pumped to be in the tuxedo. It was like fun. Like people were like you would feel really cool in the airport. Yeah for sure. Then I woke up in Chicago. Everyone's off the plane.

It's just me the oh no flight attendants were like dude are you what's what's going on with you walking through i get him i you guys know so you slept through the entire deboarding process the entire deboarding holy shit and i get embarrassed a lot yep. What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you last week? Or is it this story? This story made it worse than last week. Walking through a busy, like, packed Chicago airport in a tuxedo might have been the most shame I've ever felt in my life.

Really? I felt like the biggest asshole. Why? I don't know, dude. A tuxedo after a party kind of looks cool. You're like kind of James Bond. Yeah. I don't look good in a tuxedo. after a party kind of looks cool. You're like kind of James Bond. I don't look good in a tuxedo. You look fine there. You look cool.

You felt bad about yourself? No, that's not the most embarrassing thing that happened to you last week. I'm going to strike that off. I don't know what you're talking about. It was the time on the yak where that girl came on. Yeah, that would be it. Has she reached out to you?

Yeah. I remember her. It was the time on the yak where that girl came on. Yeah, that would be it. Has she reached out to you? Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, have you ever? I remember her. Yeah, that's right. No follow-ups, no. None? No.

Damn. You got to go to her office. Like this? I think so. Okay. Let's recircle this back around, cycle it back around. Yeah. Hey, I'm here to take out the trash. If somebody's getting on a plane in a tuxedo,

I'm expecting them to sit in first class. I was in the exit row. No, okay. That's pretty good. The first class of... That's... That's my first class. The first class of the rest of the plane. Yeah. Yeah, that's not bad to walk through an airport in a tuxedo. No, I mean, I was hungover.

I felt like shit. You had that little wilted flower on you? Yeah, the boutonniere was dying actively. I don't know. I just felt like was like hung over. Like, I felt like shit. You had that little wilted flower on you? Yeah, the boutonniere was dying actively. I don't know. I just felt like the biggest dickhead. Well. Thanks, Brandon. TJ, you pull up that tweet?

This was Jerry on Saturday. Yeah, wait a minute. It's hell expiring in June. Jellies are available for pickup as well, expiring within the next month. Don't want it to go to waste. Free pickup only. What? Is he doing a weird diet?

Are they going... I don't understand it. He's just giving away... Stuff that expires in two months? And why is he giving it away? Why didn't I just eat it? And pickup only. so somebody that's odd enough to want to get peanut butter that expires soon you're going to have them at your

house i'm dying to know if someone picked it up i bet you yes you think so free somebody would have taken the opportunity to meet jerry right yeah like a fan but you can put peanut butter in your pantry forever forever so how long has he had that peanut butter yeah i guess i never thought about that i've never had bad peanut butter no never i've never once opened peanut butter and been like no this is spoiled i'm gonna throw it out and you never looked in your pantry and seen the old peanut butter yeah jerry did anyone pick up the peanut butter? I'm going to give it to a fireman. Why?

Why? Well, he said his firehouse could use it. Why can't you use it? Because it's a month away. Peanut butter doesn't go bad. Also, that's plenty of time to eat peanut butter? No, it's not. They're two massive tubs, and I have jellies and Nutella.

How am I going to go through that? We already have two of them open already. How and why did you get them in the first place? Well, what I did was, I don't really want to put all my business out there, but, yeah, I don't want to put my business out there, but when I lived in New Jersey, how do I say this without putting my business out there? Just put your business out there. Yeah, so we pretty much, yeah, I don't know if I should, but we stocked up.

What I'll say is we got a very large check for food. Okay, got it, got it, got it, got it. Got it. We stocked up on a bunch of stuff from Costco. Got it. So this is New Jersey peanut butter. You moved this peanut butter. Yeah, so we moved a bunch of our flours,

our peanut butters, our baking soda, detergent, stuff like that. Okay. We did a big, massive Costco food shop slash household products that was around like $5,000. And we moved it out to Chicago because my stuff in the card from New Jersey wasn't allowed to be used in Chicago. Got it. For research. And now you're just stuck with too much peanut butter. in the card from New Jersey wasn't allowed to be used in Chicago. Got it. And now you're just stuck with too much peanut butter.

Yeah, I'm stuck with oils too. We have a bunch of olive oils and it's just a lot of stuff. But again, those will go forever. Yeah, peanut butter doesn't actually expire. Well, it does. It says it on the thing. Yeah, but you don't have to trust those. You sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure sure that's what people said in the comments i don't really

yeah i don't know if i agree with that okay all right well thank you jerry do you want the peanut butter no i'm good i got enough peanut butter appreciate it it's a bad thing if i give it to a firehouse no i think it's a great thing you should do that do a video i mean i just figured yeah do a video all right i, I will. That's fine. Yeah. Can we get a big check that just says peanut butter in the cash line? Yeah. Okay.

All right. Thank you, Jerry. You got it. All right. Bye. Yeah. No, the odd part is not having the. Oh, no. Are you stuck in the.

Peanut butter is giving it away. Are you stuck? Yeah, he's stuck. I feel like I'm going to walk away. Yeah, he's stuck. We can help you get out of it, Mook. Why don't you walk away? He's just like going to the bathroom. He's got so frustrated.

I think he's starting to freak out. Yeah. It's like an animal with a chip bag stuck on its head. I don't know that I would use those handles. You got to bend over. Use the top. Undo your sleeves. They're rolled up.

It's going to bunch. Also, Malasek for Virginia is remarkably dumb. What are they doing? Your sleeves are rolled up. They're bunched. He's just stuck. Yeah, you're stuck, dude. Why did you even wear that?

Oh, he's going to start freaking out. There we go. That's such a bad feeling. I want to see a video of Jerry's super inspiring music. And he's like, today we're giving a peanut butter to a fire. Mr. Beast style. He should actually make them have to do a challenge for it. Yeah, I mean, it expires in a month.

Just having a panic attack in there. Brandon, are you nervous? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I don't know. Brandon, you're not going to fit.

Your arms, you got to cut the arms bigger. It's going to scrape your arms so hard. You have to at least cut the arms bigger. Maybe take the lid off and go in the other way. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea at all.

He's going to be. Take the lid off and step into it. This is quite a predicament. Yeah, just going upside down. Use that as the body hole. We didn't specify. He can just stand in it, right? Just wear it upside down.

Yeah, wear it upside down. Yeah, go in that way. Go for down. Yeah, wear it upside down. Yeah, go that way. Go for it. Yeah, that's actually good. Watch the light. Oh, no. Your arm's not going to fit. Just put it on over your body and have your arms to your side. Do you have scissors? Yeah. Mal, can you get some scissors?

Oh, we got scissors. Never mind, we got them We're cutting a bigger hole Yeah cut a bigger hole We're gonna need a bigger hole Did you use scissors Uh yeah I think What do you mean

I might have used some heavy duty Like an exacto knife I used scissors of some sort That guy's got a knife There's a guy here who's got a knife. We just have a guy walking around with a knife? I was... Just keep your arms at your side.

He's just like, you need a knife? Okay, just go... Keep your arms at your side. Yeah, just go in like that, and then... Yeah. Well, I'm not sure. Other way. Go in the other way, tell me.

Go in that hole. Get in that hole. Oh. Yeah, just put your arms out. And then your head will pop out the top. Have your head pop out the top. Oh, Seth, can you get us a knife?

Yeah. That's perfect. That's perfect. I'm in a pants yet. Oh, I hope you're wearing a condom, buddy. You look great. Take a seat. His hair is doing the split thing.

Yeah. You can sit. It's a posture corrector. It's good. I can't. You can sit This is the first time Brandon's recycled

Here just go ahead And like fall backwards then Yeah You can do this You can sit Oh here we go We got knives Wait

Brandon take it off Alright stand up Stand up Brandon Those knives aren't coming do you yeah he's okay like that there's no way oh handicat Thank you for this, Titus. Someone pointed out that on Earth Day, I went out and bought a big plastic container that I will not use. Oh, yeah. I can't wait to see this sticking out of the garbage can

no better way to save our planet than just cut up plastic and throw it away the only reason I was stuck by the way was because I was doing the shirt pull down deal I just don't want my belly out I'm not going to shirt off. Shirt off? You'll cut yourself. That's good.

Wow. You can get Che's dick in there probably. Doubt it. No. No? Oh, yeah. This might be comfy. Bernie, are you going to run the gauntlet on this thing?

Yeah, he is. That's what I wanted to say. You see the John Ridge tweet? No. No. From 4.30 this morning. Yeah, what was that? I have a recurring wet dream that I'm about to play hockey but can never get to the game.

I'll be missing a piece of equipment. Escape label break. This time I got lost looking for the rink. I get so worked up that I calm and wake up. It's always devastating. What does that mean? Look at the response. I get so worked up that

I calm. He tweeted this at 4.30 in the morning, so he probably was asleep. Yeah, this was a sleep tweet. He tried to sneak this by everybody. It only got 100 likes. 213,000 views. I got so worked up that they had to come. What the fuck?

Did he ever explain it? I get so worked up that I cum. Is there a disorder where guys cum but not from sexy stuff? Where they do get so worked up they just- Non-sexual cumming. I don't know. Like a disorder where they just shoot in their pants? Some good meatloaf.

That would be sexual for you. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Non-sexual coming. Distress coming. Adrenaline coming. Yeah, like how those goats will get scared and pass out.

And you just come. That would rock. Do you make the face hole bigger? Babe, you better be hiding when I get home. Yeah, go the other way yeah yeah yeah let's see i think this might still be no you got this yeah yeah all right there we go yeah yeah time for the gauntlet go yeah okay you got this. Now? Yeah. Yeah, do it now.

Now? He's so good in a trash can. Is this his wrestling character? Yes. All right, TJ, tell me when. I think one hand you can no warm up shots come on

on r slash no fap christians there's nocturnal emissions due to stress so wait on r slash no fap christians um did he explain it further? No. That was it?

Make sure you're drinking a lot of water. That's what they're saying. So you don't accidentally cum? R slash nofapchristians. Okay. Okay. What the hell? I think it just means you a gay.

Call him, Nick. We need to find out if this was actually... When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water and he will be unclean till evening. Leviticus 1560. I'll call John Rich. What's that?

Yeah. Leviticus. Gun to your head if you had to that'd be tough had to what? if it was like come right now yeah I don't think I could do it

yeah I don't know let me try right now okay yeah you didn't shit your pants when you were getting robbed. You came. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can't come. Okay.

Thanks for checking. So I'll try to come. Yeah, I can't do it. I can't do it. Zach Wilson, Bronco. Oh. Matt Ryan, retire. We're trying to call John Rich.

All right. We'll get in touch with him. I'm very curious if he meant to do that. I don't know. That's when you wake up delirious, you send something off. Yeah. Maybe he misunderstands what a wet dream is. do that or i don't know that's when you wake up delirious you send something off yeah maybe he misunderstands what a wet dream is well no because then he said then i come at the oh and then i got right you're right yes well are you ready brandon having a wet dream he hasn't really tweeted since

then i'm gonna quote you and say what fuck, so more people talk about this. Yeah. Was he at the FDMI-MIPD ice hockey game over the weekend? Ooh. Are you ready? TJ? Yep. All right, here we go.

Three, two, one, go. Oh, he's going to a knee. If he beats Jeff. He will. He's going to beat Jeff. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's going to a knee. If he beats Jeff. He will. He's going to beat Jeff. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't know. Maybe he's not going to.

Oh, I don't know. This is going to be great, him going up against Malzahar. There it is. There you go. Oh, here we go. Zesty. Zesty garbage. Sassy little can't.

I like trash can Brandon I do too yeah one of my favorite versions it's kind of fitting lost a shoe yeah ow

oh oh my god what the fuck he's really good now a sec what if this is the best version of him ooh oh Oh. Oh.

The football throw is going to really suck. Whoa. Nice. Nice. Ooh. You got it Yes Dude he's got an awesome time This is over And one shoe

Yeah see you can't lift your arm Might be an underhand deal No he's okay There we go Yeah, see, you can't lift your arm. Might be an underhand deal. No, he's in. Okay. Sort it out. There we go. One of these is going to go in. Stop that.

Sorry. Oh, no. Oh, no. Second level is tough to get to. There it is. I don't know why I said that. Okay. All right.

This is going to take a while. Come on, Brandon. Come on, Brandon. Come on, Brandon. TJ, on the scoreboard, just put cannon. Oh, there it is. Hey, that was wet. This is a really good time.

Oh, my God. Great time. Come in here. Come on, Brandon. 2-18. Giddy up, boy. Most popular deli meat. Ten most common.

Boxing. Defensive formation. Bowling. Football. Boxing. Bowling. Tennis. Golf.

Amazon. Pele. Pele. Oh, hello in six languages iran you know that u.s uh russia china china india hey got it. Wow. Great time. Wow. That was incredible. Three in the can. One shoe. Malasek, what happened? Yeah, you alright? You're the guy in the trash can. Yeah, I just kicked it hard. All right. Malasek had nothing.

Good job, Brandon. Incredible time. 257. Jack Golke. Oh, my God. Be Jack Golke, Brandon. Inside of a can.

Cannon. That would be your persona in there. Yeah, it's Cannon Walker. It wasn't that bad except for the three-point shot. Sure. Hmm. Damn. Good job, Brandon.

How you feel? Feel good. I need to know what happened with this John Hughes thing. Feel fine. How are the birds doing? Oh, yeah. They just got out. What?

What? My wife just texted me and said the birds got out. One of them has attached himself to Tommy. How's Tommy handling it? They're using his leg as a perch. John? Yes, hello. John.

How you doing? What was that tweet? The wet dream tweet? The what? Dream tweet? Yes No we were asking about A different tweet What

Is that Is that real? Yeah that is a real fact What? And you tweeted it at 4.30 in the morning So that was like Right after you came? Correct Yeah How often does this happen

I bet that's happened Five times Five times But like you're a grown man I didn't even know they had wet dreams for grown men I got rid of them Nah dude I still get them But that's even the worst type

because it's not even it's not even like you're having sex with someone hot you're just having a fear wet dream so so i've actually had this like for a long time a majority of my wet dreams which i do still have at 32 years old are not like sexual my first wet dream is about me jerking off. And then you just cum. I just wake up cumming is a hell of a sentence. Is it like a pleasurable cum or is it just happening? But like when you wake a key in, and I'm trying to find a toilet. And then I wake up. But when you wake up, does it feel good? Can you hear Nick?

He's asking to feel good. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It feels good. It's kind of hard to embrace it, though. Because it takes you a second to realize what's happening. But yeah, it feels good. What does your fiance think of this

i don't think i've ever told her you told the whole world well did you mean to tweet that did you mean to tweet that yeah you did i thought it was kind of funny no it is funny but it also was like at 4 30 in the morning like i i know that i've like like when i'm nodding off to bed like i'll realize like oh shit, I'm on Twitter. I could have easily hit a button and tweeted. Rosie O'Donnell-esque. Yeah, I guess maybe I didn't have the same inhibitions I would have had at 9 o'clock in the morning. You had post-knock clarity.

But you know, I haven't really thought too much about it today did you send that tweet off before or after you cleaned yourself up after okay okay does this ever happen to you while you're awake yeah does it happen when you're awake inadvertently come well what do you mean does it happen like do you inadvertently come do you have a great piece of steak and jizz your pants do you pants Or like someone yells at you And you're like oh no I'm coming It's only in my dreams

Wow Okay I mean I'm jealous of the wet dream thing Cause that those did rock When you were a kid but I don't know about the anxiety Wet dream It's weird man That's been like happened since I was a kid. Like I'd say like 80% of my wet dreams aren't sexual.

You have statistical, you can say 80%. It's just normally not because whenever I hear people talk about wet dreams, I'm like, man, mine aren't like that really. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, thanks, John. Appreciate it.

Yeah. All right. See ya. You know me.. Well, thanks, John. Appreciate it. Yeah. All right. See ya. You know me. I'm Googling over here. And apparently, like, random ass wet dreams are a thing. And it's how dudes' reproductive systems, it's like a check engine. Like, let me run the engine.

Just clearing it out. Your body kind of clears it out. And, yeah, my 26-year-old male friend gets wet dreams from food. He loves to cook and eat food. I always thought they were sexual. Are they? And people are saying, I don't know. Wow.

You can just come. Makes me think of that clip in the Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary where he just talks about how he's calming. Yeah, the pump. I'm calming and I'm calming more and I'm calming. Yeah. Never stop calming. That's crazy. And wet dreams were awesome when you were a kid.

Yeah. If I'm going to have a wet dream now, it better be like hot. Right. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's like VR. Yeah. I would take a pill that would guarantee a wet dream. Yeah, I would, too.

What's a go to sleep with a condom? You could just. Yeah. And you could dream about whatever. Yeah. You just dream like you're having sex. And then now you're coming. Yeah.

I've only ever had one. Really? Only one. It was the first time I ever ejaculated too. Really? When I was coming of age, I went to bed and woke up. I thought I sneezed in my pants. I was like, what the fuck is that?

Titus, I think mine was my first time ever ejaculating too. Is that a thing? I was a real late bloomer when it came to jizz. Yeah. You didn't introduce jizz into your life until? I think I was a freshman in high school. Now you can't get enough of it. Is that late?

No. Is that late? What, 14? 13? I feel like that's around. I think it's like 12 to 14. Yeah, I was about that age, think yeah yeah what's your uh wet dream body count one I think I know my only wet dream is about three or four yeah I think I got

four or five maybe I remember I when I used I had like one summer where I had like three and I was like this is awesome and then it just never happened again. Brandon? Damn. You've been mum? Yeah. I wasn't a big comer. Really?

Wasn't really a big comer. I came later than you did. What? When was your first time? Like 15 or 16. Shit. You were behind the wheel? Yeah, I was just playing ball. It's funny to be like, I came later than Nick did.

So what, like 2005? Yeah. It took me a while to come. I think my wet dream was about American Pie. I didn't even see the movie. I just knew about the movie. Yeah. I was like 12 when that movie came out, and my parents wouldn't let me see it,

but some of the bad boys in my school saw it and were like, dude, Shane and Elizabeth gets topless. And I was like, what would that be like? Your wet dream was about your boys talking to you. Cream my pants thinking about that. Robbie had one member when we made him not jerk off, and then he went like 20 days and then he came all in his pants

I had a fear of having one at like sleepovers yeah I kind of want one again fuck if you fall asleep with your hand in Vaseline you'll have a wet dream I believe really oh I now have

a Jerry surplus of Vaseline see that tweet next week beingerry surplus of Vaseline. See that tweet next week being like, anyone want Vaseline? I got too much. Did you see the guy that kept his hand submerged in lotion for a day? No. Just got real pruney. That was it.

Oh, there's no review. People were like, stepping in there like, you're going to lose your fucking hand. How long would it take? Think about that as a torture. Yeah. would it take? Think about that. Is it torture? Yeah. Wow. Just a hand in lotion. Hey, Brandon.

Hey, bud. Hey. Give us a take. I'll tell you what. I really think the media set up J.J. McCarthy to fall in that green room on Thursday night. Oh, you're still? No, I'm not still. This is Will Levis all over. This is crazy.

This is Will Levis all over again, buddy. You're still chasing Michigan. Y'all are letting people lie to you. I don't let people lie to me. Last year, everybody said, well, you know what? Will Levis might go number one or two. No, the fuck he might not. You're still chasing Michigan.

These teams are lying about liking him, and they're lying about liking J.J. He's not going top ten. Steven, this is your week. You're still chasing Michigan. These teams are lying about liking him, and they're lying about liking JJ. He's not going top ten. Steven, this is your week. Yeah, I mean, there's a ton of buzz that he's going top four. There's a ton of buzz in a lot of people. Yeah, you're right. I would be shocked if he fell out of the top ten, considering the 11, 12, and 13 teams on the quarterbacks.

You should be shocked if he fell out of the top ten. Well, he's nuts. Well, these nuts. Steven, are you ready for draft night? It's your favorite night of the year. We're still fielding calls, but yeah, final mock draft

will be out I think Thursday. Fielding calls, okay. We're having the draft show with every fucking person in the company in it. Oh no. Too many people? It's just so many people.

How many people on the desk? Five. Who? It's me. It started. How many people on the desk? Five. Who? It's me. It started out with me, Ron and Shay. Now it's me, Ron, Shay, Compton, and LeJuan with Frank on the side. And we have guests from Barstool. It's going to be the 200 people.

Frank has been on the side for a couple years. He's there, too. You're on the desk, though, right? I'm in the Verizon war room. Yeah. Taylor will probably bail. For sure. That will probably bail. For sure. That'd be nice.

I like Taylor, but I got to interview like 30 people for 30 picks, and then we're talking about fighting. Hear me out. And Blattman set it up like that and then fucking left. Hear me out. Cut me. No, I'm not cutting you. Cut me.

I'm not cutting you. I'll cut myself before I cut you. No, cut me. No, not cutting you cut me i'm not cutting you i'll cut myself before no dude i won't be mad at all i will cut myself before i cut what are you what's your role oh you're on the no you're not on the desk are you he's no i'm in the war room you cut him cut me i'm not cutting nick cut me cut him you're not on it okay so it's great i got cut that should be easy then yeah we emptied up the spot all right mook titus kate all out nice fuck yeah i feel good about that yeah i'll try not to take it personally but yeah i understand can i cut chay you can cut me

and i won't be mad i will be mad for like 30 seconds i'm not cutting you can i cut you uh can i put out a mock mock draft the day after the draft? Yes. And have the best score? Yes. Thank you. Actually, just do the Billy football. Just post-date it.

Oh, yeah. Put out a mock draft and just have it be published from Wednesday. And then we can be like, oh, my God, Nick got every pick right. 100%. All the trades, too. Cowards only put out mock drafts before the draft. Yeah. I'll be wrong, and I'll put one out afterwards.

I feel like this draft doesn't have a lot of buzz. Maybe because the – I feel like we – Is it? No, I – maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like the draft usually happened before the NBA and NHL playoffs. That's what I was going to say. The draft happened so late to me. Yeah. It's crazy they haven't had

the draft yet. How many times can you talk about the same dudes over and over? That's why the interest seems to just... Last Thursday would have been perfect. Yeah. Because there was no NBA games. There was nothing last Thursday. That was draft night. It's crazy that the NBA will have their draft sometimes less than a week

after the NBA Finals end. Yeah. NFL is months and months after the nba finals end yeah nfl is months and months after the super bowl i just i don't know why but why do you need this much time was it late steven is it late this year no it's it's normally that when it used to be on saturdays it would typically coincide with the first day of the nba playoffs and nhl playoffs it'd be like a crazy day but then it would start at noon but yeah you're right since it starts on thursday it has been the end of april but yeah you're right it would be a good opportunity But, yeah, you're right. Since it starts on Thursday, it has been the end of April. But, yeah, you're right. It would be a good opportunity to swoop in last Thursday with a vacant sports night.

Yeah. Hmm. Okay. That was our draft talk. You want to spin the wheel? This would suck if Brandon had to get wet in a trash can. Oh, my God. That's moisture wicking.

It is what it is. You're chilling that thing, dude. I thought mousetrap was coming off the goddamn wheel. On or off? Well, it's off because we just hit it. Right. It. Yeah.

All right, so now Mousetrap back on. Mousetrap is back on. It's a wheel reset. A wheel reset. It's a wheel reset. Is Towel Whip back on? Yes. Yeah.

That was a fun one. How about Towel Whip instead of mousetrap why not both here's a big question is fart eliminator back on. Okay, fine. Hell yeah. It just works like that, huh? Yeah, you did use your nope-I-do. Brandon, you could use your nope-I-do for a mousetrap. I don't want to use it for that. Why?

I want to use it for something more important. What was Big Red Forehead? Big Red Forehead was Kate's, I think. Yeah. Yeah. forehead Was Kate's I think yeah You lick a stick of big red and you put it on your forehead it burns at least giant red rectangle It did end up burning. It would actually maybe it would maybe like kill moop okay okay only 0-1 for oh yeah I hope it lands on J again oh god

did you see that M. Night Shyamalan trailer that your team's talking about? yep I did yeah this trailer just came out that apparently has like to a T a scene from their movie that's coming out on oh no like matches it exactly yep M. Night I know Teej movie that's coming out on. Oh, no. Like matches it exactly. Yep. M. Night.

I know. Teej. TJ, what do we got? Um... Did I write it down? Oh, did we already do it? It was the alphabet one. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You want to spin again then? Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. You want to spin again then? Okay. Should I have your group as well? Yeah. Zah. Where is Zah? Classic.

He's at the Classic today. I think he's back tomorrow. All right. When he comes back, we'll find out. Zah's got something fun. Yeah. Yeah. Zah always has something fun.

Okay. Good show, everyone. See everyone tomorrow. Brandon, stay in that trash can. Why? Just for fun. Okay, good show, everyone. See everyone tomorrow. Brandon, stay in that trash can. Why? Just for fun. I'll go tomorrow. Drive home in it.

All right, see everyone tomorrow. Please like and subscribe. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. It's the act. It's the act. Get your straws, yeah, style a tape for a while. It's the act.

It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Hey, have a good week, everybody. See you tomorrow. Bye.