The Yak - Steven Cheah Has a New Nickname | The Yak 7-22-24

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

Nick and KB are backYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, QZ, pull that up. Hello. It's the Yak. We're back. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase QZ. Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com.

Wearing them right now. Love roback.com. Joggers are the best. Nick, KB, you guys are back. Feels great. Uh-huh. In the flesh. KB, flesh kb do you have any not in the heart or soul almost got connor griff oh you're not in the heart and soul yeah that's in the beaver state oh yeah yeah your heart and soul is staying in oregon why we'll get to it yeah Yeah, I felt terrible about Connor. Yeah, you did that. Yeah.

I did, yeah. You were the reason. Well, Nick did it, and then I affiliated. Whoa. We realize that you're the number one peer pressure guy, because when you do say to do something, no one can say no. You command a lot more respect than I do. I've caught a blanchet.

Did you learn that in your trip to Oregon? Yeah. What was, I didn't want, I couldn't bear to listen I do. I've caught a blanchet. Did you learn that in your trip to Oregon? Yeah. What was, I didn't want, I couldn't bear to listen. Is it bad? It was over. It's over now. It's over now. I texted him and apologized.

It wasn't good. No, it was not good. I texted him after he said, fuck him and fuck that shit. I'm all good. Don't apologize. He sent me back, actually, LOL, it's whatever, man. So I think he's mad at me. He's mad at you.

Yeah. LOL? LOL, it's whatever, man. That's mad. He doesn't talk like that. Yeah, that's mad at you for sure. I'm mad at him for doing that. Fuck Connor Griffin.

Yeah, fuck him. Mark, did your kid have diarrhea still? No, it was taken care of. He or she was... Nice. Progressive. It was crazy, of. He or she was... Nice. Progressive. It was crazy, yeah. Did you go to the...

I'm letting... Okay. Yeah, but I... You had to stop home first. I had to stop home. Everything was fine. What would you have done in my situation? No, I get it.

Everything was fine. I had the afternoon freed up. Yep. You know, it was like I could come back to work for the last 10 minutes of the Yak or I might as well. I'm already here. Game time is a sponsor. Yeah.

Might as well use game time and just go to Wrigley. But everything's fine. Yeah. He or she, her or his diarrhea. Not even your kid. Yeah.

It was wrong kid. It was just a kid had diarrhea. Kid had diarrhea. You know what's crazy? I was expecting more runs for sure. How bad it was. And was just, oh, Kate had diarrhea. You know what's crazy? I was expecting more runs for sure. How bad it was. And I was – I thought the day would have more runs, and in the end I was weirdly disappointed that there weren't more runs going on.

Yeah. It looked like it was a beautiful day to go to a Cubs game. Yeah. Happy everything's okay. When they were gone, Kate just started breaking shit. Yeah, you guys were breaking a lot of shit. Yeah, you guys had fun the second I left. Yeah, we did.

That was crazy. Yeah, that looked like a blast. There was an episode of Hey Arnold where a girl pretended to have a broken leg long after it was actually broken. How long until we're just like, Kate's healthy. She just doesn't want to be walloped.

I'm going to try and keep it going for one more year. One more year. Just past Barstool summer camp. Because I'm going, but I'd like to just float. No, I believe that you're actually injured. Sometimes when you stand up, your spine looks like Harry Potter's scar. I just came back from that.

I was just at the VA 10 minutes ago. I live there now. Talking about putting cement balloons in there. Is that like your hospital? Yeah. Is that sad? Yeah. Is it cooler than a hospital?

It's all dudes. Is there like a bar? What's that? There's people drinking. Okay. Wait, what's a VFW? That's also? That's not there.

That's not a hospital, but there's a lot of drinking there too. That's a bar. It's a social group. It's a social club. Those are cool. Those are cool. I kind of use those two interchangeably. Yeah.

A little bit of both. VA's a hospital though. VA is where you go to get treated, right? Yeah. Is it a big hospital? It's huge. Is there like posters on the wall? It's like five minutes down the street.

Yeah, there's even posters that say, don't tell the women vets to smile. They don't like that. Wait, can you go in if you're not a vet? You have to show your veteran ID to get in. Sorry. It's kind of like an exclusive club. So you guys get, is it like better treatment? It's pretty good.

People shit on it, but it's pretty good. Do you do the discounts every time? Yeah. So you get, what's your perks? Like a free omelet every month? You guys pay taxes? Yeah. Thank you get, what's your perks? Like a free omelet every month? You guys pay taxes? Yeah. Thank you.

Okay. No way. Do you get tax-free money? No, not really, but I get super cheap medical care. Do you get a pension? No. I didn't do 20 years. I think you're too nice to even use a veteran's discount.

It would kill me. I would kill myself. Yeah, wait, so so you never do the veteran like i went to a four uh like a nature preserve with my kids on saturday and the people behind us got the two dollars off because they were veterans if there was a full parking lot and i had my whole family in the car and there was veteran parking i would kill myself i would tell them louisa's off a bridge can i use i don't judge anyone who does i think it's great but i just can't can i use yours then yes like it balances it out yeah i'm not really being unused it's unused someone should use it home depot should we do all your happy veterans day yes you can all right yeah i'll be the i'll take all the anyway yeah do you want to yeah i'm not trying to like steal anything

i'm just trying to use so it doesn't get a waste. Wait, so Kate, you don't cut in line at the airport? That would make me want to die. Why? That's the number one thing? That's when you do it. Stand up at sporting events? No. All veterans, please stand and we'll clap for you. We should start the yak off every

day with veterans. If you serve, please stand. Yeah. I feel like half the reason for going to war is to be able to cut in line at the airport. That's for active veterans. That's not me. You're pretty active.

USO rules, by the way. I wish I could still go in there. Oh, is that for actives? Yeah. And that's better? It's like the Sky Lounge, but for vets. And it's like the Rolls Royce of lounges, and it's amazing. I didn't even know that.

The Philly one has like a giant tiered cake of tasty cakes and old ladies serving up cheesesteaks. What? It's awesome. Oh, my God. Recliners. I know. Should we put it on the wheel? Should we join the military?

Yeah, I think we should. You should at least have to go talk to a recruiter. And if you get out of there without joining good on you because they're tricky why they really get you yeah that's how they got you so if I joined the military for a week and then left would I be able to cut in line the cops would probably be hunting for you

maybe but shit that's probably not good are we all too old anyway yes we are for some Marines we're all too old we're not too the yes we are for some marines we're too old we're all too old yeah no no we're not too old for the army and navy i believe if i try marines i know what you old are they taking me if i try to join the army they're desperate the army wouldn't take me 45 years old they wouldn't you are too old sorry you are too old yeah i think it is 42 and you're

too old no i gotta chill no so me and big cat are too old for the for all of them no they would take kb number one there we go i'm at my physical look i could i could still join the navy the coast guard army i'm out air force i'm out army and army and uh marine so i'm done i live a life free of military service how crazy was it have you guys ever seen the clips of like during vietnam when they would just do broadcasts where they were just yeah they had a big board like it was the nfl draft yeah and they're like if you were born here you're going to war it's fucking nuts what was it like your last digits of social like social security it was birthday it was your birthday and month

yeah i don't know if you could find it. They would literally like pull up a number. They'd be like, all right. October 7th. Yeah. October 7th this year. You're going to war. And it wasn't like, oh, I could probably chill in the computer lab. I don't think so.

Maybe if you had flat feet. It was a guaranteed combat. You have flat feet. I have the arches. You're too arched. Yeah. Yeah. But they didn't have like add wasn't yeah autism colorblind what did ali do he just said nah then he fought the great white hope well he had to go to jail and then they there was that big party that got busted i'm lost on that the

big hustlers party are you in Forrest Gump right now? I think he's doing American Gangster. So Ali fought Jerry whatever in Atlanta. Afterwards there was a gigantic party. It was a hustlers party. It got busted. People got killed.

Was it Coney? It was a huge deal. Shit. Thinking of Coney probably. I gotta look that up. I think his name was... Who said that was a huge deal. Hmm. Shit. Yeah. Thinking of Coney. I gotta look that up. I think his name was I want to throw a hustler's party. Oh, look at this. See? Dude!

No way. That's the first pick. That's how they pick the birthdays? Yes. I didn't even know that. Yes. It was a big telecast sitting down on your TV being like Is that anybody's birthday? Did any of you guys get drafted? No.

Holy shit. That's nuts. Oh, my God. Oh, they're saying it wasn't. Oh. Oh, shit. Oh, that's PFT. Fair or not, as the fence played out,

only men with birthdays numbered 1 through 195 were ultimately called to duty. Men with the remaining 171 birthdays were home free. Oh, so that's just lining the birthdays up. Yeah. That's crazy. That would be nerve-wracking. Yep.

That is fucking nuts. Just sitting there. I kind be nerve-wracking. Yep. That is fucking nuts. Just sitting there. I kind of want to see the whole board. I'm nervous right now. Yeah. Just watching that makes me nervous. I kind of want them to do it again as a joke. Just to see.

Not a joke. Just to see. Just to see. Yeah. Oh, okay. Here we go. Would your draft number have been called all right so if we were born in 1950 do you mind january 30th this is 30th 30th 30 oh no 30th god damn it tj hey. He said 30. Fucking. Oh.

Wow. Wow. Drafted. Oh, do it. You just Steve Harvey'd me. Oh, yeah. It's a war. One day earlier and one day later, you wouldn't have been drafted.

April 13th. Holy shit. Bye. Would you have hid? No, I would have gone. I just probably died. April 13th oh my god I would have died immediately

you would have definitely TJ I would have died in training June 28th May it's sunny there okay please now I'm fucking your wife

I'm Jody is that a wife fucker? Yep Jody Okay Go ahead do KB's 126 I'm gonna say no

Oh Dude not only am I fighting in the world I'm fighting for 30 years longer I'm staying in the Philippines, like the Japanese. Korea? Yeah. Okay. Titus?

625. Okay. Oh! Nick, you're the only one. Oh, I'm raising your hand. It was funny when it happened to you guys. Enjoy, boys. That one's not funny. Yeah, Brandon would raising your kid. It was funny when it happened to you guys. Enjoy, boys. That one's not funny.

Yeah, Brandon would die. Well, Kate's a woman. June 3rd, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, that's true. I'm off the hook. They're talking about changing it. All right. Oh, Che?

Well, I don't know how they did it on the other side. Yes. Am I misremembering or did we register for the draft when we were like on your 18th birthday? Do you still register for a draft that doesn't exist? It's when you register to vote.

You have to do it at the same time. They just announced a change to that this year. What was it? It was... What did they announce? I don't know. They did something with selective service

this year that was different than they've ever done before every year they're talking about adding women to it but yeah what's the cutoff age where you can't get drafted anymore 27 i don't know and aren't if you're in college you're fine right so sass could get drafted yes he would complain so much. They probably would kick him out for complaint. How does Ukraine and Russia do it? That is they literally just split your house. I think Russia takes prisoners.

I know they do that. And then Israel just takes everyone, even the sexy women. Even the super sexy women. They have like a sexy calendar. Yeah, there's some countries it's everyone. South Korea, you have to do it. So all of BTS is in the military right now. Yeah, I think a lot of Middle Eastern countries you have to. I think Jungkook and Rap Monster are fighting right now.

Of course. The entire BTS. No, they are. Yeah, they're in the entire Red Bull. What are they doing? They're just training? Dude, I don't know, but they are flawless. What is their skin?

Their skin is beautiful. Poor, porous. Poorless. Love those guys. Jungkook and Rap Monster? I don't know. Rap Monster was my favorite RM. He's the leader of the group.

Spoke good English. The funny part about that rule is if you win a championship and honor your country by doing that you're exempt from it so there was a korean esports team that doesn't have to go to do military service because they won like an international esports competition but they're like really good at shooting they're gamers yeah they yeah like wouldn't that yeah they'd be so good on a drone yeah yeah what are we'd be cool if we fought war that way. What?

And then the whole country could watch. What do you mean? Like if we fought wars via video game instead. Oh, yeah. That would be cool. And then if we lost, then we all had to walk into a meat grinder or something. Like a Japanese 12-year-old would be the most powerful general on Earth. Yeah.

Ronnie James would finally have some use. Oh, my God. Hey, he's been balling. Has he? I don't know. He had 12 points one night. He did have 12. Yeah. Bronny James would finally have some use. Oh, my God. He's been balling. Has he? I don't know. He had 12 points one night. He did have 12. Yeah.

He's been playing. That's pretty smart, actually. Set the bar so low that it can only go up. And I don't know if I'm being – I don't know if LeBron was doing a goof. I'll send it to you, TJ. At the end of Team USA practice, they do a free throw competition where they all shoot with their offhand. LeBron claims that he writes with his left, so his offhand is his right hand, which he's been playing basketball with for the last 40 years. And he won, and then he crowned himself. That's pretty awesome.

Do you think he's fucking with us? Do you think he's doing that as a goof um i think he's doing i think it's annoying as fuck but i think he's doing what all guys do in competitive environments with their friends which is find technicalities and stretch the rules yeah look. And then he crowned himself at the end. Well. So he's shooting with his right, and everyone else is just doing goofy shit with their left. Yeah, that's amazing. That's amazing.

And then he crowns himself. Oh, he put a crown on himself. Does he normally shoot with his right hand? Yeah. He has shot with his right hand his entire life. But he says he, like, swings a golf club and writes with his left. So do you take, when you say you're like left or right handed, that's all based on writing, right? I guess.

No, it's based on the context of what you're doing. Right. Shooting a basketball. I write left handed. Right, like Hank's a lefty, but he like swings right. But only lefties learn how to do it righty, right? No rightiesanks over hanks a lefty but he like swings right but only lefties learn how to do it righty right no righties learn how to do much lefty that's true some hit left handed like baseball and stuff right yeah but i think those are natural lefties right but they'll throw right-handed i think it's the opposite i think left-handed batters are better it's like

better to teach no i yeah it is but what he's saying is there's no righties that learn how to do something lefty it's all lefties that learn how to but that's what i'm saying i'm i'm disproving that by saying right-handed people learn how to bat left-handed do they yeah right there's um lefties that learn how to do both no i didn't say as much i just said it that's a yeah i don't know as much. I just said that's a... Yeah, I don't know. That's a thing that happens. Yeah, I guess switch hitters are fucking badass. Switch hitters are crazy, man.

I don't know how they do that. It's nuts. I can't do anything left-handed. I can barely do anything right-handed. There's got to be something you could do left-handed. Do you switch hit when you jerk off? No. It feels like another hand sometimes. Yeah, it is another hand. Numb it up you could do lefty. Do you switch hit when you jerk off? No. It feels like another hand sometimes.

Yeah, it is another hand. Numb it up, then go lefty. I'm good. No, you just go. It wouldn't even feel good. Let me see your hands. Let me see your hands. Put your hands.

Well, this one's still bruised up from baseball. Let me see the other one. Yeah, that one's got a lot of jerk off. Yeah. You can tell. It's like reading the rings on a tree. You can totally tell. He just only jerks off with his right.

You write left-handed, Nick? Yeah. Really? You throw a football lefty? No. Frisbee. Frisbee lefty? Yeah.

Football. Oh, so you're pretty much switch. No, i stick to one thing how how conscious were these decisions they just kind of happened just like someone threw a ball to you and then they're like hey man throw it back and you just i broke my left arm real bad when i was younger when i started playing sports i still had a cast ah so i don't know that's a good yeah my son's a lefty and i don't know what to do with it i have one lefty kid i don't know. That's a good, yeah. My son's a lefty, and I don't know what to do with it. I have one lefty kid. I don't know how to teach him either. Yeah.

Where do lefties succeed disproportionately more than righties? Pitching. Presidents. Three-point shooting. Pitching. Okay. I think a lot more presidents are lefty. I'm into politics and pitching.

Yeah. That's pretty much it. Everything lefties do is prettier than everything righties do. That's a fact. Lefty swings are prettier. Have you ever seen a lefty right? That's gross. Also, you're very wrong about

throwing a football. Lefty quarterbacks look weird. I think they throw very pretty balls. Kellen Moore threw the most beautiful ball in college football history. In history? I disagree with that Brady Quinn. Brady Quinn's spiral was so tight. Brady Quinn's spiral was so tight. ball history in history i disagree with that brady quinn brady quinn brady quinn brady quinn

spiral was so brady quinn is the brady quinn spiral was so tight it was so tight kellen moore just put the loft on the ball matt liner threw a beautiful ball it just comes out pretty they're not as good yeah feels like they don't have as much strength yeah it looks softer lefties yeah lefties are soft don't receivers complain that strength. Yeah. Looks softer. Lefties, yeah. Lefties are softer. Don't receivers complain that the ball spins the opposite way? Harder? You wipe in with your left or your right? Me?

Neither. Whatever is on my disposal. Good answer. That's a good answer. Yeah, what do you do? Right. So what else do you do left? You right left.

You frisbee left. Slap? If you were to pick up that water ball bottle what would you do that's pretty it just depends on the side i guess how would slap left how often do you frisbee that you have a dedicated hand to it well i was really bad at throwing a frisbee i was like maybe i'm lefty with this and i was way better interesting oh i committed to the bit didn't get it hit me right in the balls folks yeah i think just uh archery archery yeah archery i'm lefty i got a special bow in high school okay what about uh if you're a rob someone at gunpoint what yeah and is the pistol in i'm going to as you do oh two pistols nick yeah that's yeah fuck yeah do you think it's just in your like that's just the way you're born or like i always hold my son

in my left arm so his other arm is the only arm that's ever out and i'm like is it the way like parental preference the way you hold your baby does that like start it because one hand's always tucked in the other hands like did you have an arm that you prefer to hold your baby, does that start it? Because one hand's always tucked and the other hand's... Did you have an arm that you prefer to hold your kids in? No. My left arm's my strong arm that I hold them in, I carry them in. This arm's always free. Their left arm...

So I'm a righty, and I would naturally cradle in the left. Yeah. Yeah, because then you keep your hand right for the bottle. You have the right to do all of the... That's why you did the left. They're talking about the kids. She's talking about the kids. So you cradle in the left.

You cradled in the left for the bottle with the right right no but she's talking about the kid has his left arm free that's why he so am i creating two lefties because i always held my right arm's top no because that would be the world would be full left of lefty yeah yeah oh i text with my left hand oh no you don't every time every time every time i also just think yeah My son just grabbed like a spoon With his left hand He's like alright I guess this is it They just are

Yeah he's not taught it No he just started doing it What's the farthest your hand Has ever been down your child's throat? What? Have you ever had to retrieve Like a choking object? No thank god

Never really far down my child's throat I've hit him in the back. I've reached Stella's innards. Trying to grab something that she's got in there. That's been a full fish hook all the way in. Because a dog can't. Dogs are, yeah. They don't stop when they get something in their mouth.

Kate, you're probably the most paranoid. Do you have the sucking thing? No, I haven't. But I should get it. Because I am very paranoid. I keep the directions for no i haven't but i should get it because i am very paranoid i keep the directions for choking on post-it notes right dude when you i took the baby cpr class when we had our first kid that is like they show you that and you're like if we're here i'm we're in trouble and they're like we're not break their little ribs yeah we're in a bad spot break their little ribs yeah they're break them, and that's okay.

You're just like, what? That's crazy. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. Big fear. Yeah. I still learned how to swim this weekend. No way. Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

It's a milestone. It is. Did you get, like, an instructor, or you taught him? No, he just started doing it. Yeah. He finally did it. Yeah. That's huge.

It's crazy watching a little kid get confidence. Is he aquatic? Does he love the water? He likes it. I wouldn't say he's like Michael Phelps. Do you have a pool? I rented a house in Michigan for the month, so we would go there on the weekend. Awesome.

Yeah. Having a pool would be the scariest thing ever. Yeah. Like all the time. Yep. Hoping that- Or like a lake in your yard. A hundred acre lake scariest thing ever. Yeah. Like, all the time. Yep. Hoping that... Or like a lake in your yard. A hundred acre lake.

My God. Chart. You have to like... Mine are old. Put your kids in bright pink so you can see them if they're at the bottom. A rickety pier. Those stories are so scary. Like a really small boat that's too small.

Have we done this on the show with the way kids learn how to swim when they're like super babies? If you have a pool in the house, you just throw them in? Yeah. Yeah, they like naturally know how. I you have a pool in the house, you just throw them in? Yeah. Yeah, they naturally know how. I hate those videos so much. Yeah, I watch it. The instructor's like, come here, come here.

How do they find that out? They're all fake. I don't know. I used to watch a TikTok that showed that you have to teach your kid to run before he walks because if they run, then you run with them, and then they'll start walking. I tried that five times this weekend, and my one-year-old didn't do shit. They're all fake.

It's TikToks. Are you ready to talk about Oregon? It's so beautiful. The scenery. This is where your soul is right now. The landforms. That boy, Ben. I saw Crater Lake.

It was so blue and untouched. Wait, can I see Crater Lake? Can you see it? Yeah. I don't want to show you pictures. I won't do it justice. But wait, you're a big non-travel look at VR guy. I am.

Did this change your mind? I would still rather do VR because it was hot and uncomfortable. Didn't you drink the water straight from the lake? I did, yeah. It tasted like water. Oh. The resort was beautiful. Now let's get into the factors that made me question the authenticity of the devil being inside of me for the first time in my life.

Okay, let's go. The condo. There was a heat spell in central Oregon. Okay. Like late 80s, early 90ss not when you were there no ac no air conditioning in our little cabin condo not a single molecule and how many people were ventilated cooling how many were in it six what are the 80s and 90s thing it was like that was the temperature oh you said late oh high 80s yeah low 90s

i don't know i was with you i was like all right so historical i thought you were gonna say that there's no air conditioning in the late 80s and 90s there was a heat spell someone died in your condo ghost yeah no okay there was just no ac okay okay i got it the temperature was in the late 80s early 90s yeah who says was during the day me do you say that often yeah you say i say it obviously has like a kind of a joke and you guys should like snicker and then be like oh but if it's 88 degrees are you like it's the late 80s? As a joke. I've heard you say it like in regular conversation.

I don't know. It's just a little thing I do as a joke. It's to spice up conversation. It's a quirk. No, a quirk would be if I didn't do it on purpose.

I still think it's a quirk. Anyway. All right, let's get back on track. No, I like it. It's a good quirk. It just introduces

a lot of confusion. Can we just... It's 90 degrees during the day, but you can be active and outside during the day. How warm was the state? Wait, if it's between 88 and 92, you say it's the late 80s, early 90s today? If I'm on a podcast,

trying to be a little bit more funny. Got it. Quirky. Got it. Not quirky. Okay. Yeah, so again, it does get like cold in the middle of the night but the day was like the time span of trying to what you can't chill

inside during the day what was the temperature at night they didn't put no ac on the description they just didn't list it in the amenities which i I think is... Was it like a bed and breakfast? Multiple box fans? We had a fan, just one. What was the temperature at night? So like at 1030 when I'm trying to go to bed, way too hot. 4 a.m. it gets cold. In the morning it's pretty cold. Like 50s.

Early 50s, late 50s? Okay. So the resort... It's funny, yeah. You're going to steal that. No, I'm not. Use it on PMT. I'm so confused. Use it on PMT.

I'm not going to steal it. Okay, keep going. The resort was like a cyclist's paradise. Ooh. But not to go from A to B because all of the paths were labyrinthian. Everything is two miles away, all of the destinations.

Ten forks in the road to get from a to b so i had to use my gps every time couldn't memorize it you bike though we were the resident douchebags we got electric bikes oh my dad especially so we're going it's a family resort yeah so every 15 seconds we're making families of four scramble. Six-year-olds. It's just filled with six-year-olds and dudes with one leg. There must have been a bionic leg conference. It's on their little tricycles.

I parted so many seven-year-olds. And everyone hates us because we're going 25 miles per hour, and they're just taken in the scenery. Were you pedaling or no? No, it's a throttle. Oh, it's like a motorcycle. Everyone hated us. But I was so angry.

And then I was like, I have to stop myself. These people are enjoying life. And I think that I'm owed this public land to myself. Right. I feel like I'm a tiller the hon but i i just i was just so frustrated having to constantly make horizontal lines scramble like shrapnel and but it was fun it sounds like it sounds like it was it was fun yeah and you were with winoy and this had to have been chris yesterday was his christmas oh he was riding

like a complete dickhead he was going off road he was like every time we tried to follow him somewhere he would go off in the distance lose us my girlfriend's afraid to go full throttle he's going on the main road holding up traffic he's going on to the golf courses and he's how he was having a blast. What about yesterday, though? No, it turned to the left and he was calling Kamala. He was saying Kamala needed to lose weight. Kamala's a little bit overweight. Kamala's a little bit overweight.

Severe chronic scrotal sagging. Okay. Oh, my God. Just go to his replies replies he was copy and pasting to every everybody did you see any of these like do you see him tweeting these off i sincerely hope president biden files an ada ea suit immediately this coup has led cleaney goldberg and aoc prime examples of elder abuse 76 years young i'll be leaving the democratic Party I hope all will join me despite Trump's shortcomings age would not should not matter with a little help she's younger combined some Botox 15 pound weight reduction you have a strong

candidate AOC fixed her gum issue and she became an instant winner my girlfriend got a poop job he's on fire can i see crater lake did you go ahead well did you like hike up to it or is there like a road hike down to it oh the hike up is kind of crazy it's really steep but you know it's amazing we took a boat on it oh you can take boats out on it i didn't know there was like so many tours how big is it it's small you can see the whole perimeter at any time but it's so blue it's so pretty are you allowed there's no one on it and there's a little island with a volcano oh cool you can't like stay around you can't like stay there is it active you know i don't know i guess i I guess the answer would be no, right? Definitely not.

So wait, it's a crater with a volcano in it? It is a volcano. I don't think it's a crater. There's a term for what it is. But it's the deepest lake in the United States. Really? No, that's not true. Yeah, it is.

It's like 1900, deeper than Lake Superior, yes. It's the second deepest in North America. The United States. You got me there. You got me there. So I highly recommend this, whether you're going on a boat in it or just looking down on it and hiking around it. It was amazing.

Wait, what's the deepest lake? Don't tell me. It's the Lake Bacow. How deep is that? Whoa. Again, that's a mile deep. Lake Bacow. How deep is that? Whoa. Again, that's a mile deep. It doesn't really do anything for me.

You can't really experience the depth. The lakes are pretty cool. Tahoe is a deep lake. That's what they were saying. It's really cold in the middle because it's so deep. Great Slave? Wow. Is the name of a lake? Huh.

Okay. The people are friendly to a fault there. Wait, is Bend in the... Oh, yeah. Bend was a little bit north of where I was. Is this in conservative Oregon or weirdo Oregon? Conservative Oregon. But then the weirdos who move are probably more liberal.

Where in Oregon is it? Central, a little bit west central, east of the Cascades. Oh, there it is. Oh, that looks lovely. That looks incredible. I've got to go. It's a beautiful state. You float down the Deschutes?

We did. We did a little, like, we had a five-year-old with us, so it was like a pretty much shadowless. Oh, you've got to float down the Deschutes, yeah. Yeah, we float down the chutes yeah yeah we float down the chutes yeah that sounds lovely it was yeah look at that that's a cool later that is cool it kind of looks like a person's head yeah how'd you end up there the ear on the left we did the thing where Everyone in the family submits

The destination and we like Spin a wheel I think What was your submission Secrets Ocean City Maryland You said you got on a boat out there Yeah it was like a pretty packed Tour boat that was A little too academic

for my liking. Yeah. Because it doesn't even look like they have docks at all. It looks like it's like completely untouched. Yeah, no docks. You can't like stay next to it.

Yes, you just got to like it. How'd they get the boat on a boat in there? I do regret like that's right. Ramp somewhere? Yeah. They fly with a helicopter. No way a boat in there.

That's what they said. I get, I mean, how else do you get it in there said I get I just can't picture a helicopter towing a boat 30 minutes in you bored him this is Kyle's story Kyle's in the middle of his story

he was eating his Chick-fil-A without the bun today. Jesus Christ. He's trying to get healthy again. Brutal for you. Brandon, do something left-handed before you come sit back down. Go piss, and then when you come back, entertain us left-handed. Yeah. Yeah, do that.

You guys hip on Phantom Towns? You into phantom towns yet nick put me onto this wait what they're uh towns that were added to maps that are not real so if somebody like tried to steal your map that you made they would add that city and be like haha got you but it was made i think they're by like is this like the the original like they're called watermark yeah they're called people yeah and so the guy who started them hates Ohio State. And so the towns are called Go Blue and Beat OSU. Oh. The United States ones.

Wow. Yeah. But if you see a map. Wait. How often was he getting his map stolen? I'd imagine back in the day, you make a map. And it's pretty. You protect that shit.

Yeah. Because it would take a long time. So he watermarked. He watermarked with fake towns. And how often did he get his yeah like there's some there are some on google maps right is he i would imagine once you do that you're probably like leaving your map everywhere hoping someone steals it right so because like if you have a if you have this map and no one steals it what's the point lancashire so aglo new york is the big one it was a general store paper it was they were the house on in fight club was called paper street

as an homage oh i'm into this right now this is my that's what i did how how do you what do you mean into it i want to learn everything about i want to learn everything about them that i can yes like what do you what was an example of something you learned about them? I'm Googling it, and every link is purple. When you said Phantom Town, I was thinking like the towns in China that they build all those condos and stuff, and then no one lives in them. Those are fascinating. Yeah. What was the Asian country that moved?

Oh, nice. Good job, Brandon. I'm entertained. What was the Asian capital? They moved their capital to a different city and nobody went with it. Myanmar. Yeah, empty capital. What?

Naypyidaw. It's crazy. I can tell you're into it. Sorry. It's crazy. China only has one time zone. That always blows my mind. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Neither did I. Yeah. Yeah. And Russia has like 11 or 12. Time zones are weird. It's because like 98% of the population lives like basically in one area. Australia has the fucked up time zones, right?

Yeah. Fuck Australia time. Yeah. What are they? The half hours and stuff. There's like one, and there's one that like is the same north south but a different time yeah it's so far south i hate how we like some states are split up the same oh wait maybe same longitude but it has different maybe it doesn't no it is that striped one right there i think where oh that's the one yeah see look at china oh yeah china's all the same time zone

how nuts is that that is huh pretty crazy uh what i was trying to figure out where everything is in there like russia's at the top of that thing yeah i've been big into time zones because the house i rented is like four minutes into Eastern time. So it gets dark at like 10 o'clock. I'm pro one time zone. For the whole world? Yeah, for the whole world. And then just shift your expectations of what noon is.

Whoa. Yeah. 4 a.m. is time for lunch. It depends on where you are. It's 12 p.m. in the middle of like it depends on where you are it's 12 reconditioned in the middle of the night somewhere else yeah but then that's fine and then you would still just have like the same but it would obviously be based on us it would be yeah of course of course are you willing to destroy the song it's five o'clock somewhere oh shit oh man yeah because that would mean different things to people imagine having having to tell your son, like, explain to him.

It's breakfast. Tell Alan Jackson. Maybe Key West is just 5 o'clock. Key West is always 5 o'clock. Always 5 o'clock in Key West. Never changes. I bet you could rally around. That would be a petition people would sign.

Yeah. Where does time start for the world? The fuck? The meridian? No. International date line? Who's, like, what country gets the very first crack. The Meridian? No. International date line? Who's like, what country gets the very first crack of the next day? It's between Russia and Alaska, right?

Yeah. Oh, I thought it was the other side. No, they're ahead of, like, Australia, don't they celebrate New Year's like you're watching? Like, here's Australia celebrating. Yeah, where's the date line? Russia and Alaska are 23 hours apart at one point. Oh, I thought it was between us and Europe. No.

Isn't it Atlantic? Oh, it's not. Yeah, that makes no No. Isn't it Atlantic? Oh, it's not. Yeah, that makes no sense. That's not a nation, is it? Home to Christmas Island. Is that crabs? Where you are is probably one. Red crabs?

What is GMT plus 14? Wait, that's where it is? Greenwich. Where the fuck is this? Greenwich Mean Time? That's not a real place. The earliest place on earth. When do those crabs come out and just take over the whole island?

Where is this? That freaks me out. In the ocean? It's the South Pacific. It's not the kind of crabs you can eat either, I don't think. No, they just be... They walk through houses and shit. What do you mean by...

What is the verbiage being used here? Permanently trespass. Just be in the time zone? How do you permanently trespass? I'm so confused. I don't know. I don't understand a single word. Who came up with this shit?

Why did they write it like that? This is blowing my mind. Huh. Huh. Did we have a committee come up with the times? Was there one person that came up with the time zones? Who invented time? Greenwich.

Huh? And who decided there first? The Earth is a circle. How do you even decide who's first? Well, let's hold off on the Earth as a circle. What's the name of the center for the Celtics who got traded? His nickname was Time Lord. Robert Williams.

Yeah, that was one of the coolest nicknames ever. Should have been. Time Lord is cool. Got to give that to a better player. Time Lord. He was pretty good there for a second. Yeah, he is. He just got injured.

What's the best wasted nickname? Oh. Johnny Football Rock. Johnny Football is pretty good. Best wasted nickname. Oh. Durant refusing to go by the Slim Reaper. Or Durantula.

Durantula was okay, but Slim Reaper is an incredible nickname. It is. And he refused to go by it. It's too good. I think puns are a little bit corny. He wanted to be the servant, which is bad. Yeah, that's true. He did want to be the servant. Slim Reaper is a fucking awesome name.

It is an awesome name. And he just refused. Maple Jordan, Andrew Wiggins. Yeah. I don't like... That's just... It's not a great nickname. Cutesy shop name.

Remember when the Clippers didn't want to be Lob City? They were Lob City for a while, and then we're like, oh, actually, we don't want to be Lob City. Wasted best... What was Florida Gulf Coast? Dunk City. Dunk City. That was a great one.

That's cool. But I only know Dale Earnhardt. What other NASCAR nicknames are there? I bet you they have some fucking good ones. Rainbow Warrior? Yeah, Rainbow Warriors was the pit crew for Gordon. Intimidator, yeah, was Dale. I don't know who else really had a nickname what was

bobby labonte's nickname terry sometimes call him terry uh yeah who had a sweet nickname but kind of sucked all right here we go 20 terrible players with great names i mean big country brian reeves he wasn't that bad. Big Country was awful, but Big Country is a great name. Oil Can Boyd. Big Daddy. Big Daddy, Dan Wilkinson. Ironhead? Whoa, Greg Hayward's good. Yeah, what the hell? Greg Hayward was really good.

AK-47, but Kirillico was good. He got hurt, right? This is a very slash. I love that. It was not good. It was a lifelong back. very Slash. Slash. I love that. Oh, Wardell Stewart was not good. Wardell Stewart was good. He was a lifelong backer. No.

Charlie Batch. No, he had that one year. But he's not like, what is his name? But he earned Slash. He's not Slash. Did we call him Slash?

Yeah, we called him Slash. Oh yeah. Baby Jordan was a good one. Adam Dunn almost had 500 home runs. The Big Donkey. That's not a great nickname. No.

That sucks. Big Donkey is a great nickname. Badass. And that minor guy, wouldn't you want to be called like Diamond? The Bull and Wall. Hobby Bull was good, was he not? He had a long, solid career. The Bull and Wall is not a...

But you can't give that nickname to somebody else. Right. That's a play on his actual name. Wait, Brooks Conrad was Raw Dog? That's sick. That's awesome. So wait, we... so wait prime dog was an all-time nickname fred mcgriff we should give the worst bars to employ a sick nickname that would help them out i'm very much into by the way nikki smokes is k and i and i kki yeah forever now it's so good

yeah we should give we're struggling naming our new intern hole didn't work sledgehammer hole sledgehammer we're trying we're trying out hubert that works yeah but someone's mentioned curly today and he does have curly hair does anybody with curly hair get called curly i thought it was only bald people got called curly because of the three stooges yeah what like you don't name an actual small person tiny. Were you in college when that show came out? Is that hurtful? Are you saying hurtful things now?

For no reason? The Three Stooges. Do you remember watching that show? I don't. How's it hold up? It was well before my time. I've never actually seen any. There's a lot of head bonking.

A lot of head bonking. A lot of head bonking. A slapstick. No, you did a podcast episode when they put Shep in. You were pissed. What the fuck are they trying to do? Who's Shep? Shemp. Oh, my bad.

It's all right. Three Suzy were like the most famous people in the world for a hot second. They sold out. When they got Shemp. Do you think they got Pussy? Yeah. Yeah. Moe Howard got a lot of them.

Definitely. Were they bad guys? Think about it. When were they? When were the Three Stooges? The 20s and the 40s and the 60s? There was like five famous people then. Yeah.

It was impossibly hard to be famous back then. Wait, they were active from 22 until 70 yeah that's a long run you were right brandon that's what i just said um yeah there were there was like five famous people it was like marilyn monroe sinatra whoever martin dean martin whoever was the president like brando have you ever looked up dean mart Martin's rise to fame? No. He had to bare-knuckle box for years. What? Boxing was the only way to get famous. It was one of the two ways.

Yeah, president or boxing. Yeah. War hero. That turned to president. Baseball player? Yeah, baseball. Ball player. Not baseball player.

Baseball. In the 40s, baseball player. No, no, but they called them ball players. You're right. Yeah, they were ball players. They were the only ball players. They were good old ball players. You were their boxer. Not baseball player. Baseball. In the 40s, baseball player. No, no, but they called them ball players. You're right. Yeah, they were ball players. They were the only ball players. They were good old ball players. You were their boxer.

You played ball. Yeah. Ball was only baseball. Kid Crochet is a pussy-ass name, isn't it? I kind of want Prohibition to come back because bootlegging. Kid Crochet. Oh, that's horrible. It would be awesome.

It would make sippings feel so much better. It would be awesome. It would make sipping feel so much better. It would be awesome. It's what's happened with weed. Yeah. Getting weed is no longer a thrill. Yeah, it's like, oh, I'll just go to the dispensary. There's nothing thrilling about it. That's a good line.

Went all but 11. Went all but 11. Yeah, was everybody super clever? People only had clever lines. Yeah. Yeah. He was professional drunk there. They talked in like riddles.

He was a drunk. They did. Dino Martini. Roulette stick man. Bob Newhart. Oh, he worked at an illegal casino? Yeah, Bob Newhart did that. Funny as fuck.

People lived. Yeah. Yeah, but Dan, that's how Vegas has gotten too. Vegas used to be fun back when you felt like you were being a little naughty. Hardly Sin City. Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm not supposed to go to Vegas, but I am. I want to go have fun. Yeah, the mob might cut off my hand.

Did you see Bob Newhart? Nate Bargatze is a very funny comedian. He's got a podcast, and there's a dude on his podcast who's just killing people. He says their name, and they die. What? I was shocked at this clip. I sent it to you, TJ. Well, Newhart was like 96, right?

Still, to just be like, say the name, boom, they're gone. Say his name, and he appears. Jimmy, they're gone. Say his name and he appears. Jimmy Carter's still alive. Uh-uh. Is he? What was that? Jimmy Carter's still alive. He's not alive every day.

Okay. He doesn't wake up. But you knew someone. They should run him. They should. The day that seems like they're from such a big... I'm talking about like a famous person. Like, that person's still alive. It seems like they're just

from a... I have someone in mind. He just had a birthday. Willie Mays. Breaking news. MLB legend and Hall of Famer Willie Mays has died. You know, Willie Mays just passed away. I know. You killed off another one. Every time Brian talks about somebody on this podcast,

they die within a week. Sorry, Bob Newhart. It's crazy. Oh, shit. week. Sorry, Bob Newhart. It's crazy. Oh, shit. I want to meet Bob Newhart. Yeah. Oh, we have some breaking news. No way.

Who's the person that still loves to do it? Is there a... Oh, okay. He just did that back to back, though. Back to back is awesome. It's pretty nuts. I want to try it. Jimmy Carter?

No, that's easy. Yeah easy yeah although it's not we did we we gave him the takey last year for still live person of the year and he's still alive he might go back to back it's crazy how old is he 60s or 70s i go young take a big swing. Adele. No. What? Is that too far? I think it's going to be somebody that used to be famous that has kind of fallen out of fame. It's just like, oh, man, that sucks. Like Joey Fatone. Oh.

Should we each name a person? This feels wrong. No. I want Joey Fatone to live. Yeah, we're not hoping that you do.'re not hoping that you don't want them to die i'm just gonna say vanna white but yeah um i'll go white socks dave yeah i'll go white socks dave too i have that power um steven are you doing comedy on thursday i am at the laugh factory i think some tickets are still available are Are we going to get to watch it?

We have a camera going. After? So Friday we're going to get to watch it? People should go. What are you... Please go, yes. Yes, go. We won't watch the whole thing, so you have to go to see all of it.

Are you willing to burn material, Che? No, no. I went through a writing session this weekend. He gave us one last week. He missed it. Oh, what was it Are you ready for it ADHD in the bathroom

Oh yeah I was here for that Oh you were here for that Did he tell you the premise of it No he just told us that Che is it about I don't want to You guys are making this a lot harder for me how many minutes you got

I don't know if we're really I think probably about 8 to 12 Jesus Christ you can also run the Skittles joke again I've gotten a lot of requests for that so we have Eddie, Chief, and White Sox Dave going on at once I believe

Danny Conrad they're going on at once they're believe. Danny Conrad? Nice. They're going on at once? They're going to be all three on stage at one time? You don't think three people can be funny together? What about Larry, Curly, and Mel? I think they can. I just didn't know.

I think they are. I think so. Danny Conrad's going up. So is Stephen Chay. Stephen, 8-12, that could mean 20 in real time. No, it won't be 20. You don't have 8 to 12. I think 12 is the cap. No chance you have 8 to 12.

I think I'm right there. I'm probably 8 right now and I've got to finish writing and I'll be. Are you going to do any crowd work? I'm going to go. I don't think. You never know. What's your walkout song going to be? I didn't know I had to pick that.

Yeah. So. What are you going to go? We got to discuss. I don't know. If I was being introduced to an NFL lineup, it would be the Runaway by Bon Jovi. All right. Do that.

I feel like that's a different vibe. Than your entrance for an NFL stadium? Yeah. Hey, when are you going to Bucs camp? I don't know. I was planning on going this week, but then this came up, and then there's, like, the DraftKings shoot that we got to do. Because Make-A-Wish has got to be, they've got to be like,

we need footage. It's a big year for you. Yeah. I will be going the next couple weeks. And you're going to show Baker the clip of me showing Baker the picture of you guys. Yes, I will. I need a video of that. All right.

I will try and get a video of that while I do that. It's going to be tough because my phone, I'm going to use my phone to show. Oh, no. I'm going solo. Che, you need a nickname. Okay. Anything you want? The Insufferable. Nitro. That's sick.

The Insufferable Chase. When I was 10 years old, I tried to change my name to Chuck, but we already have a Chuck. Why do you want to be Chuck? Chuck Che. Chuck Che. What the fuck?

Yeah, we already got a Chuck. I like Chuck Nessa. I don't think he would mind. I don't think he'd give a fuck. Be Chuck Che, dude. Chuck Che. Have your alter ego. What was your alter ego?

Nitro Z. Nitro Z. Nitro Z, but then your alter ego? What was your alter ego? Nitro Z. Nitro Z. Nitro Z, but then also you have what, Stephen Clit? Stephen Clit. Steve Clit. Steve Clit. Say it once.

Yeah. For the one time. Steve Clit. Some people from high school call me Pepe J. That was my name in a Spanish class. Pepe.

So it was like kids that were in Spanish with you? Yes. Your teacher? The teacher, yes. You could have been Seve Che there. I could have, yeah. Oh.

The 24-hour joke. That was an all-time moment. I like Chuck. None of us got it. I like Chuck, too. I love Chuck. I'm rolling with that. Chuck Che.

Chuckie Che. Chuckie Che. Don't hate J. Chuck E. J. Don't hate it. It works. Was it because of John Gruden? No, this was before. This was 96. Yeah, why Chuck?

What was the... I like the name. Oh. Okay. Just take whatever name you like. It is beautiful. Rolls off the tongue. Yeah.

Chuck. Was it because of Rugrats?. Yeah. Chuck. Was it because of Rugrats? No, not Chuck. Chuckie Finster is not a desirable character. Right, but you're not a normal person. I guess a little bit Barkley. I didn't want to be a baby. But you using logic doesn't really...

When does that ever apply? Always. Chuck. Good old Chuck. I feel like there's certain names if you used them in bed, like you would have to just never. And I think Chuck's one of them. Or like Gertrude. Oh, yeah.

Gertrude. Like there's certain names that you just gotta. Yeah, like baby. Like thinking of like, have you ever met like a baby Gary? Oh, no. That's funny. Yeah. What baby names?

That baby's name is Gary. Orville. Orville would be weird, yeah. Although, all those old names, I feel like... Is that going to come for Kyle? You think so? I don't know. Yeah, it will.

Kyle's new, right? Yeah. Kyle was very limited to mid-80s to mid-90s. What if it goes away? What if that's it? Daniel will

always be around. Nicholas will always be around. I think Travis falls into Kyle. Marcus? Mark will always be around. Mark will always be around. Steven will always be around. Jason might be done for. Brandon and Kyle are on the chopping block.

Brandon might be, yeah. Brandon is in trouble. You think it's Brendan's are taking over? Brendan's are going to destroy the Brandons. Braden. Braden. Oh, Braden's out there. Oh, no.

Brody might be over. What is this for? When did Brody start? That was like a five-year stretch only. Oh, no. Brody might be over. What is this for? When did Brody start? That was like a five-year stretch only. Wait, whose name is this? The Coltons are going to go quickly. What is this? Aiden's as well.

This is Kyle. There's too many versions of Aiden. Jaden, Caden. Oh, Kyle's had a nice bump for girls. Kyle Richards. Look at that. Wait, so you're not going extinct but where are we you're staying flat that's a nice little Kyle plateau no be plummeting oh yeah you're starting to dip wait is that for trend oh no the popularity oh yeah third line what's Brandon doing

I still haven't figured out the Kyles. Brandon peaked in like 1992. Does it follow trends like this famous person that everybody loves? You're holding on. You're doing okay. Why did it spike up? Brandon Lee.

That's right when Brandon was born. No, but he... The politics, maybe? The late 40s is when it started taking off? Oh, dude, Jalen. Because Jalen Rose has the coolest thing that he can be like, I am the original Jalen. The first Jalen ever.

Like, everyone was named Jalen after Jalen Rose. Yeah, you could trace it back. Yeah, it's nuts. That's got to be such a flex. It's like that one avocado you could trace back to one tree. Really? I don't know. By the way, Game Time, did you know you can get tickets to

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Create an account. Use code YAK for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the game time app today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed with game time. Who's this? Jalen. Yeah, look.

Oh, yeah, and then it's, look. Oh, yeah. And then it's, so he was, that was when the, what was the Fab Five? It was right then, right? 92, yeah. Yeah. And then it just went nuts. Bang. That's crazy.

That's cool. Yeah, Gary's a, baby Gary. I should have another kid named Gary. You have to. Yeah, Gary's a baby Gary. I should have another kid named Gary. You have to. Yeah. Brandon, remember when you promised us another kid? Yeah. That was like three years ago.

Yeah, life, man. Life just got in the way. Got fat. Yeah. You're not fat. You're looking good, actually yeah you've been walking every day it's also summer everyone looks better yeah i've been fishing and golfing and you golfed no i don't know why i said golfing i really don't know why i said golfing immediately

when i was in mississippi i went and played nine holes and it was too hot so i had i played nine holes this summer so that counts as golfing. That's golfing. And I did put my gloves in my Jeep so that when I go home one day I can play, but I just never have gone to play. I haven't found a course yet. There's one half mile from my house. I haven't gotten the courage to go there and ask how to play yet.

Does the country club lifestyle suit you? Yeah. When you're there, do you feel like these are my people? A nice, cheap country you. Yeah. When you're there, do you feel like these are my people? If it has a pool, a nice cheap country club. Yeah. In Mississippi, we have some nice ones, and then every small town has a nine-hole golf course country club. Oh, that's nice.

And all that is is nine holes and a swimming pool. I like that. That's my speed. Yeah, country clubs are so expensive. Yeah. No, $75 a month, $25 a month, clubs are so expensive. Yeah. No, $75 a month, $25 a month. Those are the ones I want. What else besides that?

And then there's the one in Starkville who can kiss my ass. Yeah. They told me there's a three-year waiting list, and I'm never going to forgive those people. What if they called you right now? I'm never going to live that long. Then I'd kiss my ass. Really?

I did think that. Three? I'm not going to live that long. I want it for my kids, and in three years. Who knows where you'll be? Well, my kids aren't going to be kids anymore. Yeah. My youngest will be 11, and then I'll have three teenagers.

11 is not a kid. Yeah. No, I think all they have is pools and golf. Yeah, like what is the big deal? They do like activity tennis. I think they probably do like a big Halloween thing. If your country club has tennis, that's a nice country club. Or like squash or handball.

And they'll grill sometimes. It's like a rich people VFW. I think you guys are naive. But they're not rich people. They do sexual things. Oh, yeah. Well, that was implied. Once you exhaust all the other options.

Oh, it's a great place to cheat on your wife. Really? It's a great place to talk about someone else cheating on their wife. I thought wives cheated. I thought they fucked the golf pro. I don't know if they cheat actually on the premise, but I know that the discussion about the cheating

all happens on the premise. You okay? Yeah, it's alright. He kicked my mic That's funny That's some good old Three studios type shit We should do a slapstick podcast

Ouch Yeah I think that's where the cheating Gets brought to light People talk about it Did you hear about this person They're cheating You plan it You retell the stories People talk about it. Did you hear about this person? They're cheating. You plan it.

You retell the stories over and over. You've got to be friends with all your country club friends. Then you have a whole different friend group that's country club friends. Is that where cart girls are? Yeah. They're on the country club. Oh, yeah? Yeah, most golfers have cart girls. Are they all right?

Voluptuous? No. I mean, sometimes. By and large. Depends. The average is high. If you're going to a public course, not always. There's a reason.

The good ones are. Yeah. That seems to be the number one factor in hiring them. I forget what her name is, but she's huge. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about. Paige Sporanek? No. She's a cart cart girl but she breaks in like a shit ton of money she's stunning she it's a course in vegas and she keeps herself she every day the last thing she does is cover

herself in glitter to keep the guys from hugging her and stuff oh she keeps it off she has to keep them from hugging yep she's learned that she has to put these on herself. Well, the glitter ain't stopping me from getting a hug. Especially in Vegas. You don't always get your hug. I'm getting a hug. We got to get you to Dubai, dude. Yeah.

I can't. I've been married for like 20 years. It's 136 degrees. I know. You see that? It's impossibly humid. Like you can't step outside without being drained. That was a great joke, Brandon.

Thank you. I thought that one just. You said we got to get you to Dubai. And he said, I can't. I'm married. Yeah, you got to Dubai. Dubai. Bisexual.

That was a good joke. That one counts. No, he just levels ahead of me. That was a fucking awesome joke. I want to do some bi. Yeah. Also, that's way too hot. It feels like 170 degrees.

How is that even possible? It's dry heat. It's not that bad. No, it's horrible. It's humid. No, it's dry. No, it's dry. You said it's the worst.

I've never had someone say that back to me. I'm just like, it's dry heat. No, it's actually humid. Yes. Fuck. The article was like, it's dry heat. No, it's actually humid? Yes. Fuck. The article was like, it's more liquid than air. I felt like 120 heat index in the south. 170s.

I was at the beach two weeks ago, and just sitting out on the beach on 90 degree weather was draining and killing me. Yeah, you were hitting home runs a week ago and it was like a beautiful summer night. Well, no, no, no, no, no. It didn't become night until night. It was afternoon for four hours. It was a beautiful summer evening. We did it for six hours.

I made it four to the six hours. That's pretty good. That's two thirds of the hours. That's true. I miss hitting dingers with the boys. That was lovely. I really was lovely It was so relaxing You would have had fun Hitting yeah I bet

You tried to get one swing afterwards And they were just like nah we weren't having it You should have hit You would have had fun Yeah we didn't Those guys feeding the machine just did it for 6 hours With no break They just sat there I gave him I slipped him a 20 you would have had fun yeah we didn't those guys feeding the machine just did it for six hours yep with no break they just sat there i gave him i slipped him a 20 i don't know about you guys

i slipped him a 40 i gave him 500 fuck i was kidding and i knew you guys were gonna give him yeah he deserved something yeah i didn't give him anything i asked him to join my dynasty whoa oh nice i didn't how many dynasties you got going on? Just one right now, but I did buy my friend in Oklahoma. I bought my friend in Muskogee, Oklahoma, a PlayStation 5, so I could do a dynasty with him. How is the mostly sports you guys streaming every single game? So that's like a thousand games.

Yeah. That's a 12-team MAAC league. It's MAAC. But is every game being streamed? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that's like a thousand games. I don't think it comes up to 1,000.

It's a lot. It's like 120 games. Well, that's 120. That's not 1,000. It feels like 1,000. That's like 880 less. Anything over 20 feels like 1,000. You're doing like five games a night with Duggs, aren't you?

Yeah, but I'm only playing offense. You're on season six of Duggs. I'm on season two. Halfway through. And I got half the office working on it. It's actually beautiful. Shouldn't you be better? Brandon, what level are you playing at? Huh? Currently.

The level that I'm playing at. Interesting. Really a secret. What do you play Doug's at? Al-Amarian. Al-Amarian. Sucks. Don't play defense. That's what we're doing. Brutal. Yeah, we're going to get killed. Yeah, no, you guys are going to... It's not going to be fun. Well, he's going to get killed. I'm going to get... I'm the first game. I,

for the first time in my life, put a PlayStation 5 controller in my hand like an hour ago. Were you playing? No, I put the controller... I literally... The TV was off. I put the controller... Oh, who am I playing? Who was I? I thought you said who was I? Wait, are you guys simming the non-conference? No, I'm playing Syracuse.

I'm at Syracuse. Got it. I'm at Northwestern. With Ohio University. Which is close. Y'all should go. It'll be fun. How skill-based is it compared to randomized?

What do you mean? Is it like a slot machine where sometimes the guy will just drop it? Yes. A little bit, but it's very skill-based too yeah who's like the best of what nikki smokes is gonna win this who's like the best in the world what blutman said he's a pro gamer yeah nikki smokes pretty good too blutman said the young guys who get to play all the time but they don't they're i'm so jealous of everyone who's in their 20s, single, has no responsibilities, and they basically could take a month off this summer playing the game. That's all I want to do.

Mark, you look like an old, like, 1870s baseball player there. I look like John Rich. Oil man. That's what I look like. Who's that beside Blutman? Cody. Don't. Yeah, Bl Bloodman says

Brandon has the best team in the league though so we're gonna he's got all the pressure on him Jacob Jacob's in a pressure cooker right now because he said to us I'll do anything

anytime it's asked he didn't do the hit thing memes asked yeah he didn't do that memes asked him to stay for a Doug stream last week to help and he was like i have a date so he went to the date and i've told him that he has to get married to this girl yeah yeah it's the rule that's the only way to save his job what about child i'll i'll accept

marriage just marriage i'll accept the child as well if he names him gus yeah uh but he's on his second date he said it went well so we're getting closer to marriage he's a dude that yeah just do it yeah right just marry her if the first date goes well do it yeah just just lock her up so let's do this thing yeah what are we waiting for you're not getting any younger. This went well. Yeah. Let's go ahead and make this official. Imagine kissing Jacob. Probably the same as kissing any other dude.

Nah, he's sweaty. I feel like he would, like, right as he was about to kiss, he'd be like, another thing. I mean, dudes are disgusting. Yeah, we are. Yeah, I'll never understand girls and gays. I just don't get it. Yeah. What do you find attractive about us?

Yeah. Not a lot. I like the mess. I like the dirtiness. Yeah. What ended up happening with the Beavs? Did you go needle? Yeah, and then- Oh, no.

A bunch of stuff came out. I know. Did you guys see his fingers? Yeah. Pussy popped it it didn't pop oh it was ready to burst it was even bigger oh god it was even bigger afterwards and it was angrier looking it was like black that's afterwards that's way worse all this like yellow liquid came out and yellow liquid blood whatever and now it was very unsatisfying ending because he was like now it hurts worse and it looks worse and then we went to bed so that was we're waiting for red streaks they said if red streaks start going down his back. Oh. Bacon.

Don't grab the bacon too early off the pan. Oh. B was hungry. He was. It was good. It was good bonding. My God. It was very romantic.

Yeah, okay. So I get being attracted to guys. Yeah. Oh, my God. That was gross. Do the DraftKings ad read. In a world of slot reels and blackjack deals. Wait, say it like a movie trailer if it starts with in a world.

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So sign up with code YAK and grab your popcorn. It's showtime on DraftKings Casino. Steven, can I ask you a question? Do you have a grill yet? Whoa. Chuck. What was that? Chuck. How we doing? Do you have a grill yet? I do not.

It's the last week of July. We have one more month of real good summer. Yep. Whoa, whoa, whoa. One last month of real good summer. Oh, month. I said week. I said month.? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? One last month of real good summer. Oh, month. I said week. I said month, right?

You said last week of July. Yeah, yeah. One more month. Yeah, yeah. So was that worth it? Yeah. No, I apologize. You haven't apologized yet, though.

I apologize. Now do you? I apologize. All right. To absolutely no one. Do you have a grill? I do not. So he's not going to get a grill this summer. All of this was a waste.

All of this was a waste. I bought after the beach week when you got a little taste of it. So the beach week kind of messed me up because I was set on a certain type of grill, a pellet grill, and then I did the propane grill and I kind of liked that. So now I have to do a little bit more research into it. Once I do, I'm going to.

Why can't you have more than one grill? Why can't you get a pellet grill and a propane grill? You have a house now, a yard. You can't go from zero grills to two grills. I'm not skipping college going straight to the pros. Yeah, I'm just trying to start this thing off. But you're just staying in college. You haven't even tried to enter the draft yet.

Who doesn't want to stay in college? I just haven't been in college yet. Yeah. It's a bad metaphor. You wouldn't pay a million bucks to go back to college? Yeah. What? I don't get this reference. I don't get it. Did you say would you pay a million bucks to go

back to college? Yeah, like reverse time. I would not. No. I would not. You can just pay to go to college. You're saying yourself right now you'd pay a million bucks to just be in college? No, I'm pretty happy with the way things worked out but like hypothetically i wasn't well the million bucks is hypothetical too right so if it's a hypothetical million bucks then sure there's

a million bucks to go back in time chuck might be a millionaire chuck is well because he also doesn't understand what millionaire means that's the other thing yeah he thinks waiters are halfway there well no and and he also thought that if he also thought that if your salary is a million dollars, you're automatically a millionaire. Oh. No, no, no. Well, I'm assuming you're not starting from zero. You're not taking the guy right off the street.

Why is he like that? Yeah, you fucking idiot, Dan. That was the whole debate. We were like, if you have zero assets and you have a million-dollar salary, are you a millionaire? And the answer is no. Okay, well, that's not realistic for someone to have zero of anything. It is realistic to people who have zero assets.

If you took a fucking 25-year-old in this office and was like, here's a million-dollar salary, they're not a millionaire. See, he still thinks he's still. I got him. he's like here's a million dollar salary they're not a millionaire see he still thinks I got him I know that this is one of the dumbest debates we've ever had and I know how right I am and how wrong you are cause you're right now you're doing your math no savings account no checking

everything is zero there are many people in this office that falls under that's a lot of people. What? There's not a bunch of people making a million dollars. No, there's a bunch of people that don't have a ton of assets. $20,000 to their name. People have no savings. If they have a million-dollar salary tomorrow, they aren't a millionaire.

Okay, I was confused. And Stephen thinks that if you get a million-dollar salary tomorrow, they aren't a millionaire. Okay, I was confused. And Steven thinks that if you get a million-dollar salary tomorrow, you're a millionaire. See? That's gross, man. He thinks that. See? He thinks it.

He still thinks it. I'm talking gross. No. We're not talking about NBA salaries, Patrick Mahomes' money after taxes. What? Why do you emphasize it so much? Mahomes' money after taxes. What? It's not just after taxes. You also have to spend money to live.

You have to say it like he said it. After taxes. It's one of the more frustrating debates. You can see it because he still believes. This is the top five most frustrating chain debate. What was that game show that Regis Philbin hosted in who wants to be a millionaire they weren't millionaires gotcha no he didn't he got the eyebrow when he answered the final question they don't say

congratulations you're a millionaire to say congratulations you just won a million dollars thank you brandon what's the name of the show, Dumb Dumb? Also, if they did give him. Jay's right. It was called Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It was, but they also gave the winner a million dollars cash, in which case they are millionaires at that moment. They have a million dollars of assets. A paycheck is not cash. A paycheck is not cash.

Also, that was not. Salary is not cash. Steven, that was a question. That wasn't you are a millionaire. It's a question. Who wants to be a millionaire? Who wants to be one? Everyone.

Technically, there's 16 questions. Oh, my God. All right, you're too deep. This is bad. DJ, what were you going to say? You didn't hand raise. He raised his hand. He wants to be a millionaire.

He wants to be a millionaire. Yeah. How is someone... He doesn't have a grill yet. That should tell you everything you need to know. I don't want to... How is an Asian man with glasses this stupid? That's what I want to say.

It makes no sense. It doesn't. He's like a seven-footer walking around me like I never played basketball. It makes no sense. It makes no sense. It's insane. He's like a seven footer walking around me like I never played basketball. It makes no sense. It makes no sense. It's insane. Stick to my guns.

That's not up for debate. I think you've got to figure out his cadence. And that's the way to win an argument is to be able to say things in that way. In the cadence? Stick to my guns. Stick to my guns. Yeah. Doesn't make you a millionaire my guns. Stick to my guns. Yeah. Doesn't make you a millionaire. Doesn't make you a millionaire.

Oh, man. You just got to fight back with the Chuck cadence. What did you say about Nicky's smoked steak? Oh, yeah. There it is. What did you think about it? You just can't put your steak. Steak Twitter is the nastiest place on earth, and that's just too many onions.

Steak Twitter. Steak Twitter. Steak Twitter's rough. your steak it steak twitter is the nastiest place on earth and that's just too many onions steak twitter steak twitter steak twitter's rough steak twitter's a savage savage place what's up steak twitter it's me again i went viral my goodness that's wet why'd you say it like that steven let it rest my goodness that's wet he Dr. Seuss now. My goodness, that's wet. Are you talking about a steak or a pussy coming out of a pool? A steak. Let's photoshop that response to a photo

of a pussy in a pool, walking out of a pool. Like a slow-mo hot chick walking out of a pool. Let it rest. You gotta let that pussy rest. Who says my goodness? You don't want to be going in there when it's all wet. Also, Steven, you're not a grill guy.

You're already my goodnessing people. You can't my goodness him. You don't have a grill. He asked for feedback. You're giving like expert. I've been through steak Twitter. I've been through Stake Twitter. I've been through it. But you haven't. Stake Twitter.

Stake Twitter is a brutal... Frank Sinatra did it my way. What's the worst Twitter? Stake Twitter might be up there. Stake Twitter's up there. Political Twitter's pretty bad. Not that you've got... Lawn Twitter's way up there.

Oh. See, it's similar to Stake Twitter. You make something and you think you're proud of it. You show it and people just... lawn twitter yeah how big is lawn twitter how big should say twitter be everybody no twitter's big until you get into it keyboard warriors man lawn and steak twitter are a lot of the same guys yeah yeah yeah those states where you're fucking they'll come out your neck any any any food twitter any food yeah yeah but steak and everything grilled is mostly dudes although i don't think do women

women don't tear each other uh apart about things they cook online is there like crochet twitter yeah taylor's like taylor swift twitter yeah get crazy celebrity i guess we do celeb sandwich twitter arguing about cities vacuuming we've argued about vacuuming a lot yeah the people that time zone twitter yeah sucks what's the bet that pops up every like every two months what's the best time zone for sports yeah yeah and it's we never get an answer except that it's just not East. Yeah. The answer is Central, although you could put me in Mountain, I'd probably be okay.

But East is always not. East is the worst. It's the worst. It's crazy how big the hour is between the East and Central. It's nuts. It doesn't make sense. It's only an hour. A Monday night football game starting at 8.15 versus 7.15 is massive.

We're doing it right now. We're doing the debate right now. I'm trying to think what other. There's always, I mean, UFC Twitter's tough because you just can't be, like you can't survive it without being a casual. Oh, wrestling Twitter's very fucked up wait is wrestling back uh it's coming back i thought it was i thought we were doing our we had a thursday we had uh we had a guest issue uh on thursday that's why we're having a baker couldn't do it

uh correct and we're chelsea green this thursday well she also had an issue come up so we only got a couple weeks left of summer brandon i mean mean, if it's not going to happen now. Yeah. You can't compare. Oh, Chucky. Chucky. Stop going for the jugular. Chucky.

You can't compare grilling to wrestling. Wrestling is year round. You're not going to grill in December. What's going to happen first? Episode of wrestling or me getting a grill? Chucky, just put you in the house of Jericho. No. His point didn't make sense.

I'm surprised that didn't. It doesn't, but it's how he says it. It did bother me a little bit. It bothered me, but I didn't want to stop to... It's Walls of Jericho. I know it is. Chucky got you. I need a big guest for the first one back.

I don't want to limp out of the game. You're Vince McMahon. I'm telling you, that would do numbies. I love him. Nick. What? You should have Nick on. No, I want a big.

Get The Rock, dude. I want The Rock or Roman Reigns or CM Punk or somebody. I want somebody. Hogan would work. Hogan's in the news. Anybody. Although I did ask Hogan, and they said, how much does it pay? I said, well.

Oh, he's one of those guys now. That makes sense. Yeah. All those old wrestlers will ask you how much it pays. Yeah. Because they're used to getting paid. Is Chuck undefeated? I don't want to do the millionaire thing, and he is definitely taking a loss on that.

Yeah, it doesn't make sense, but it's how he says it. You forgot about the show at the region. If you have the cadence right, Chuck's we gotta practice i gotta practice the cadence look at his face he doesn't have a grill fucking face doesn't have a grill oh he brought this up in like february chuck got you there's only a couple weeks left chuck your is your goal to get under people's skin no if it's not to be right? No, I like being right. No, I think he's...

You don't even have any motive of, like, let me get under their skin a little bit. No, I mean, Brandon was ribbing me, so that was a perfect retort. No, it's the beauty of Chuck is he just exists, and then it's like... His existence under people's skin. Like, he doesn't have to do anything. I think that counts as a win. Just, yeah. Getting under skin?

If it's an argument and you get under someone's skin. By waking up in the morning, he's winning. Guys can't rib each other anymore? That sounded... The way he says things, man. That's what I'm saying. He's kind of ribbing the shit out of you guys. He learned it in a book.

This is where I say guys can't rib each other anymore. Look how well it's working. He's unintentionally doing these beef terms. Chuck and rib. Well done, Nicky. Chuck's undefeated. Chuck's undefeated. We're just busting each other's testicles.

Chuck is good. He's fucking, he's, you can't stop him. You can only hope to contain him. Yeah, you got to watch your flank. That was good. Nice. Bring back steak, Twitter. Little bit of a Chuck roast.

Oh, seat at a game Twitter. You could be literally sitting in the lap of the coach, and they'd be like, nosebleeds. That one, you can never win that. You have the best seats in the world, and they're like, obstructed. What else? Car Twitter? Does car Twitter get nasty?

I feel like they help each other a lot yeah they feel like a welcoming community yeah i don't know if it's twitter but like if you talk about a vacation and didn't do the one thing that oh yeah did yeah like oh you wasted your time yeah vacation hardos yeah i know military twitter if you're like and then they took the tank and people are like it's not a tank it's an a37b whatever it's not a blackhawk it's oh guns too oh yeah it's not assault rifle yeah it's whatever yeah people are crazy you can we talk how easily you slipped into just sniping me the other day oh yeah, yeah. I brought out the guns. You turned and casually just shot me right in the forehead.

That was just pent up. Couldn't wait. That was such a treat. I know. I love it. I didn't see him when I walked in that there was a huge gel blaster behind me. It is. The gel blaster day was.

Bad timing. Terrible timing. Worst timings. What was it again? We had the gel blasters and we went all around and then like

an hour after was Uvalde yeah and then everyone's like dude how could you guys we're like

we literally didn't I guess just how could you in this country they're so rare you gotta do that in like the summer when there's no spring it's the only time the only gun no spring. It's the only time.

You only come play. Yeah, right. Safe, yeah. Did you just have those here somewhere for a long time? No, I bought them for that day. I knew I would need a little bit of firepower. I might have to get back in the game.

I got them here. It's addicting. Brandon, are your birds good? My birds are so good. I think about them often. We took them on vacation with us. No kidding. I drove them in the car all the way to Gulf Shores, Alabama,

then drove them to my mom's house, and they did well. That's pretty asinine. No, we brought them back. I would have been gone two weeks. I mean a week, and then we added a week. Do the kids like the birds? I have one. My responsible boy loves the birds, and he's the one that takes care of them.

He'll come to me and say, hey, can I let them out? We have a certain room that he can let them out in. Oh, that's awesome. Did you show the birds the ocean? No. No. I mean, they saw it from the window. Okay.

They didn't go out to the water. But they're doing good. Cheryl and Daryl. Cheryl and Daryl. Mm-hmm. Is Tommy going to come in this week? Yeah, he needs to. Obviously, his birthday was two weeks ago now, but he needs a good summer day to come in.

About Thursday. And be around Thursday? You're not going to be here Friday? I probably will be here Friday, but I'm probably going to leave right at 2, so I don't want to. Friday would be better. Okay, we can do Friday. Let's make him a quest. What quest are we going to give him?

Something that requires him to be valiant. Okay. Scavenger hunt. We can do that. Yeah, we have Clemmer here Wednesday. He's got a purple hat. About the same size. In New Jersey.

Oh, yeah, he did. That was electric. Was that irresponsible? Because that's a gigantic hat, New Jersey. Oh, yeah, he did. That was electric. But was that irresponsible? Because that's a gigantic hat, and that's a small state. I think you got to go when you see the Goku. What is it? You got to find a Jewish guy? Yeah, I think a hat like that.

In the New England states. A hat like that should have been like Texas. What was it, a Garker? A Gengar. A Gengar. This guy, hold on, pause it for a sec. The way this guy answered the $40 request, I thought there was no chance that Clemmer was ever getting this hat.

Your quote tweet made me laugh. Yeah, and then it's just like he had just been walking around with $60. He's like, if anyone ever offers me $60, I'll take it. That was the perfect amount for him. It's crazy. Watch this. Excuse me, sir. It's crazy. Watch this. Excuse me, sir. This is crazy.

I need to buy a purple hat from someone in every single state all across America. I will give you $40 cash right now for that hat. For my Kangar. I know it's a very nice hat. I can give you $60 cash right now. All right. Yeah. What the fuck? $180. What. I can give you $60 cash right now. All right. Yeah. New Jersey is off the 180.

What happened between 40 and 60? That guy looked way different with the hat on, too. Oh, I love this guy. Thank you so much. New Jersey is off the list. But the 40 is off. Oh, for my gang. All right.

Oh, my gang. Give it up. It's priceless. 60. All right. It was immediate. That guy rocks. Oh, wait. Do they ears. It's priceless. 60. All right. It was immediate. That guy rocks. Oh, wait.

Do they ears? Yeah, I think they do. What's a Gengar? It's a ghost type Pokemon. Very popular. Mischievous. It's my favorite. Whoa.

Whoa. I love that, too, because it's such an unexpected hat. Yeah. No, that's a great hat to be added. But Brandon thinks it's too big. No, just for Jersey, you're not even going to see the outline of the state. If you see a Gengar, you've got to take it. Obviously you do, but he's going to have to put it in the ocean.

Yeah, but he can't get any more Gengar hats. True. He might have done it too soon. What other Pokemons are purple? A lot. What's going to happen to Delaware when he puts a Gengar? Well, New York can be placed differently. New York is not in a good spot.

We got to put that up to like Albany. I don't know if that was right. I think it's around Albany now. It needs to be up around Rochester. Rochester? Syracuse? Rochester? That would be...

Never mind. I don't know. I don't want to... He's got a couple of hats for us, though. So I think he's got the Colorado hat we've got to put up. Yeah, he's been doing good. I'm proud of him. What's the release schedule for Rat Race?

There's a watch party on Wednesday at River North. And does the whole thing come out or just episode one? Well, it is only... It officially comes out. Oh, it's just one. On Thursday. It's just one video, I believe, but he's only showing half of it at the bar. Got it.

Brandon and I were teammates. We got along very well. Well, that's... I thought we did a good job together. You thought you did a good job. Well, I was definitely like every teammate. Everyone needs a Batman and a Robin. You kept pointing the camera at me and saying, look how slow he is and look how yeah they're motivated batman and robin

it's just you talked down to me a little bit well i mean you were moving really slow and it was a race yeah it was a race some races the slower the better. Multiple times during the... ASAP. Oh. We had fun, though. Multiple times, though. I was like, why am I... Why? Mm-hmm. Why? Well, Clemmer's Rat Race only comes into town every once in a while.

Yeah. But he does do a very good job of it, so I'm excited to see finished product. Do we just have access to that bar for watch parties? Yeah. You want to watch something? Yeah, let's watch today's Yak tomorrow there. Yeah, just a perpetual watch party. Constant.

Yeah. What if we started doing a lunch special there every day during the Yak? Oh, yeah. People could leave the office and go there and watch the... Would you just get like a computer farm? Yeah, like an Indian click farm. Yeah. Why don't we, TJ, why don't we hire an Indian click farm yeah why don't we TJ why

don't we get it higher an Indian click farm to watch the act good question I'm looking if you can find it I'm willing to pay what's like the most universally hated episode let's pay for 1 billion views Mother's Day yeah oh there's a was yeah that was check again it has 1 billion yeah Father's Day was tough yeah that was horrible check again it has one billion views

some of us still have nightmares about it I liked Mother's Day are you thinking of the right one anything that was painful in the past I can just be like

I liked it because I know I have to do it again well there's going to be a Mother's Day next year are we running an annual tradition. Are we running it back? Annual tradition. Oh, for sure.

We're running back Mothers Day? Still have all your little moth costumes. Oh, my God. Cannot wait. I was thinking cocoons. Oh, yeah. Next year. Next week, can we do the Brandon?

Can we go to your house? Yeah, let's go. I'd love to go to your house next week. Oh I heard an interesting well never mind. Huh? Uh oh. No no no no no.

What? What is that? So we were talking about his purse his home. Yeah never mind. What the fuck is this? Oh. Somebody told me

I don't want to like mess up your your life or your house or your never mind. All right. So Caitlin told you something.

Yeah, yeah. What is it? Text me. Go stand out there and tell them. Okay. What could it be? Uh-oh, buddy. Oh.

I want to pants him so bad today. Oh. Okay. So let's fucking get some. Oh. you'll probably get the channel banned oh that's too bad because it would be funny if we just did it for really bad yeah oh you think it's bad can she What was said there? Is that true? Yeah, but it's not. I like this.

It's not public. It's public to the community. Is this a criminal in your area? No, no. She just pointed out the- But is anyone checking? I have a dock and a boat and all that. Beside me, the lot beside me is a public dock. But it's not public, public.

It's public for the rest of the- Got it. The people who live on the other side of the road. But who's checking? Well, now why would you? I don't know. Technically, me and my family could roll up one day and be like, oh, hey, Brandon. We're just over here on the public dock.

You could. You could. Wow. You could. There's four young gentlemen that fish here every day. How much to buy the rights to your part of the lake? Well, I don't have a part of the lake. You have the land going up to the lake.

Yeah. How much to buy that? The land? Yeah. A lot. How much? Cost me a shit ton of money. I know.

Not the house. Okay. A hundred thousand dollars. I'm looking for investment things. You have to pay me every time you go to your No you should just wall them out of the lake Yeah Like if I just put up a toll booth

In your backyard Let's go do a yak there next week Yeah I want to Let's sink your boat Is that enough time TJ? To get prepared? Next Friday?

Next Friday Wednesday? Thursday Thursday I could do Do y'all want to record to record you don't want to go like after yeah no we go and we record and then we can release the episode friday at a different time yeah let's do thursday yeah thursday next thursday and let's release it the following friday i'll be on grit week okay so what's going to be our hook to the episode, then? We're all bringing you an item that you have to have hanging up and displayed in your home. Oh, I like that. Oh, getting on Brandon's boat.

Yeah, we're all getting on the boat. Sink the boat. It's not going to sink. It's not going to sink. We are going to sink. Would it be possible to record that whole episode on the boat? Probably. Yeah, sure.

Oh, that doesn't sound good. Again, I'm more worried about the dock than the boat. The boat's going to be fine. So do we have to run really fast and jump in the boat? No. It's not on the dock very long? No. Well, we could just go right off the sidewalk to the boat.

I could pull the boat up to the sidewalk. But 10 people. How many? Everybody in here. Yeah. That's seven. That's seven. That's six. That's six.

That's six. TJ Cheza. Yeah. So nine. Mook. That's. 10. 10.

So 10 people. 10 people in the boat. 11. Who? Tommy. Okay. Tom. 11. 11. My folks are in town boat. 11. Who? Tommy. Okay. Tommy. 11. 11. My folks are in town too.

Yeah, but your mom's not going to want to. Your dad will. My dad will. So 12. 12 guys. 12 guys. 12 people. 12 guys in a boat. Okay. We can do that. 3-3-3-3. We're fine. When? Next week. So Wednesday evening. Wednesday or Thursday? I think we said fine. When? Next week. So Wednesday evening. Wednesday or Thursday?

I think we said Wednesday. I'm out there. Thursday? Wednesday. Next Wednesday? Yeah. I'll cook. The 31st.

Me and Che will grill for everybody. Yeah, we don't have to do it right after the act. We can go up there. Like 4 o'clock. Then have it be the Friday show. Yeah. How active is the lake? Like at any given moment, how many people are out on the lake?

Well, it's an electric motor only, so it's not loud or anything. But you'll have some pontoon, especially between... Is the motor the thing that when you're making a cake? Like an egg beater? Yeah. Or a swirler? No, it's a trolling motor. Okay.

It attaches to the front, and i have a remote and i just sit back and i press the button i just cruise top speed four miles an hour what would happen if we lost the button no you're not losing you're not you're not sabotaging my boat the boat's asking if you lost the sink there's a lot to be ready for there's a lot of pontoon boats on the coast guard? No. How deep is it? The deepest, probably 8 to 10 feet. That's not very deep.

No, it's not very deep at all. It's 90 acres. But we can't lose the remote. No, why would you want to? I know. I'm saying everyone here has to make sure we do not lose that remote. I think it floats in it. It's got to be waterproof.

Yeah. So don't attach it to cement. Oh, yeah. Is it swallowable? No, it's a big remote. It's bigger than a phone. Could we lose it? You could. I'd rather you didn't.

You know what I'm saying. So wait, your boat is remote controlled. Uh-huh. Your boat's remote controlled. And if we lose the remote control, we're stranded. Theoretically, yes. Right, so we can't lose the remote control, we're stranded. Theoretically, yes. Right, so we can't lose the remote control. We'll have paddles.

Will we be able to fit paddles? We're going to have to cut weight. I think we go no paddles, and we just can't lose the remote. Don't lose my remote. This is a very expensive troll in my life. If we all focus on not losing the remote. Right. We're not going to lose it.

I'm actually going to write it down tonight as a reminder to myself to not lose the remote. Yeah. Can I pee outside there? Yeah. I'm only going to pee outside. Many spots. Can I poop outside? Wouldn't.

Why? It's pooping. It's good for ground. Yeah. It's called fertilizer. This will be a nice tune-up for a barstool camp thing. Yeah. Are we swimming?

You can. I have a floating pad that we can swim on. Will that be a part of the boat? It'll be. We'll haul it behind the boat. Can we tube? Not us, no. Is there a tree with a rope to jump into a lake?

There is a tree with a rope. No, I don't have a good strong tree. Short trees. So the pad is attached to the boat? We can't tube because we've lost the remote. No, we can't tube because we're tube. I could tube with my kids and they could, but any of us would just sink. You'd just be sitting in the water i think we should probably

tube one of us should have to be tubing instead of being in the boat that would count memes what's up what was that run memes he's never act he's never panicked like that's bad. That was bad. Something's wrong with dogs. Oh no. Che could grill for us? Che could grill. I would like Che to grill. Chuck. Chuck. Chuck.

Chuck? Chuck? Are you paying attention? Chuck! This is not going to work if you don't cut off social stuff. Don't you have to watch the show to know? Yes, but I have to go back and listen to and curate the highlights. We're going to have to do some kind of treats or, you know, the dog clicker thing for Chuck to teach him his name.

How can I help? We're going to have you grill at Brandon's. We don't even remember. Sure, yeah, I'm in. But did you grill we don't even remember sure yeah I'm in but did you hear the part about not losing the remote yeah

I will not lose the remote okay good I feel like everyone's on the same page on the remote situation Che with stand up Thursday

what do you think worst case scenario is he says slur I don't know maybe I have gas oh okay yeah I guess yeah that probably is scenario is? He says slur. I don't know. Maybe I have gas. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that probably is worst case scenario.

He's funny. Will you fart in the mic if you do? That would be hilarious. Sorry, what? What's he doing in between? Three seconds. That was just him. Why are you laughing? You don't know what's going on. You're just him. Why are you laughing?

You don't know what's going on. He's laughing at his own hijinks. You're just trying to fit in. That was a nervous laugh. Chuck. I do say the audience really truly is just like nothing. Would you start to panic or you don't feel anything? You're just.

I mean, okay, so people don't laugh for 10 minutes. Could be worse. He's right. At a comedy show. It could laugh for 10 minutes? Could be worse. He's right. At a comedy show. It could not be worse. Yeah, what could be worse than that? I don't know. It's 10 minutes.

I'm done. It wasn't a failure of a comedy show if they didn't laugh. Now, are you going to try to crowd work a little bit? I don't know. I don't think so. I think I'm going to go kind of right into it. But who knows? I'm not ruling anything out.

Do you want to practice? Yeah, I think we should practice. Let's give you a scenario. You get heckled and you look down and it's a burnt boy. Like he has a fake face. Yeah. He's got bandages.

He's got a nurse sitting next to him applying some type of alloy. Yeah, yeah Yeah, he has a caregiver constantly reapplying his fake skin fake skin yeah And like she's doing she's actively doing a skin graph and it's like high-tech But you know the technology isn't there yet for him to like he's turning heads. Yeah Mmm, and this is a man, it's a boy. A boy?

How old is the boy? Nine. He's booing and heckling you out of his cheek hole. Probably say, sick burn. Oh. Yeah, or like, I don't want to roast you again. You look like me when I get my grill. Yeah. So you'd roast a burnt boy. You look like me when I get my grill. Yeah.

So you'd roast a burnt boy. Ever been on steak? I do. Take a picture and be like, can I put you on steak Twitter? Yeah. Hey, steak Twitter, is this boy well done? If you roast somebody bad enough,

you should post their picture and be like, steak Twitter, how'd I do? How'd I do? Not bad. And so it's all going to be filmed? Not all. No. I think we're going to have some social people there. Ah, okay. Okay, what about a woman heckles you

and she's breastfeeding while heckling you? I guess we don't have an idea at this point. Oh, let me finish. And her baby is very badly burnt. Burnt baby? Burnt baby? Her baby.

Suckling at the feet? Name Gary. The baby's named Gary. The baby's named Gary, very burnt. I guess that's some hot milk. No, the milk would be cold. He's so ready. The milk would be cold.

The milk's coming from the woman who is not burnt. She just has a burnt baby. Well, the milk wouldn't be cold. It would be whatever. Room temperature or titty. Body temperature is hot. All right, Che, crowd work. Somebody heckles you. You hear not funny, and you look, and it's a woman.

It's like looking in a mirror. You're calling yourself a woman? Wait, wait. My brain's in a perfect state. Oh, no. It's like you're a laughing woman. You're a laughing woman? What?

No, I was trying to insinuate that the woman is not funny. All right, Shane, what about you? You hit her with the, I know you are insinuate that the woman is not funny. All right, Che. But you have the... You hit her with the, I know you are, but what am I? Looking in a mirror is just physical traits, pretty much. I guess that's true. Che, what about this? There's a heckler. It's a monk.

Oh. And he stands up and he says, tell me a joke or I'm lighting myself on fire and then he douses himself in gasoline and lights a match. Self-immolation. Yep. Rage against the machine. I'd probably say he looks like my uncle. I don't know. Oh, what?

Uncle No. Uncle No would work. That is first to last name. That would be the one. Uncle No? Also, that would be the one where you could say looking like I'm looking in a mirror. Good point. Uncle No.

Uncle No. My Uncle No. I'm looking in a mirror to a woman. Is there a show that if somebody's performing bad enough You can make a sound and he'd go off stage Yeah I don't know What do you mean? I don't know if he's doing poorly Isn't that you with the giant cartoon hook?

Oh yeah You should hook him No we need something to signify if you're doing poorly And we'll do it and get you off stage I don't know we'll see how it goes Like a musical instrument. I'm excited. Could be a gong show on Thursday.

Oh. Promo code BarstoolChicago for $5 off tickets. Oh. One word. I know you're going to do great, and I'm excited. Yeah, no, I'm very excited. You're going to crush. I'm fine.

I'm not too worried. Best case and worst case honestly aren't that far apart. That's not true. I totally disagree with that. Worst case, you get assassinated. Best case, you do an incredible job. You're the next up in comedy. Who are you trying to think of in Asian?

You're the next... Aziz Ansari is technically from Asia. The next Lucy Liu. Her stand-up special is crazy. Lucy Liu. You want to do the high noon ad? Yes. What happened with the wheel on Friday?

Did it just dry? Are we like... Oh, yeah, no, it's dry. It's bad. We got this close to a wheel reset, I think. Oh, now they're going to pay. You're not going to call them out? The moment everybody's been waiting for is finally here.

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What else is up, boys? I don't know. Biden's out. Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah. I was saying on the rundown, he really owes it to us to just do one last like speech off the rip no teleprompter yeah let's just empty his brain let's see where he is yeah right just fucking let it go

almost just maybe even have someone do like word association with him yeah see how crazy we can get make it real casual yeah instead of uh, just have him on this show. He would rock on this show. Have him chill on this show and just turn it, we'll turn him loose. He, he's a tough watch.

Yeah. And they did it on Ice Cream Day too. Oh no. Yeah, National Ice Cream Day. Maybe that's how they soften the blow to him. I guess that's true. Like, hey, you lost your job, but here's a cone.

Yeah, that would actually, yeah. If we have to, if I have to fire someone, I'm going to give them an ice cream. Give them an ice cream. Have you ever had to fire somebody? Not really. Don't really know. Brandon, have you ever fired anybody? Yeah.

No shit, where at? At the newspaper in West Point, Mississippi when I was the editor. And then when I was newspaper editor in Martinsville, Virginia. Fire or layoff? Fire. No shit. That's performance.

How did you do it? Did you give them an ice cream? Fire. No shit. That's performance. Yeah. How did you do it? Well. Did you give him an ice cream? I had my publisher boss over here, and I had our HR person in the room, and it was kind of a group firing. Yeah. So, you know, we talked about this. Do you have chocolate on your headphones? No.

Yeah, you do. My guess is no. Is that chocolate all over his headphones? It's pie chocolate, too. That's when Nicky Smokes got him in the face with pie. You have a lot of chocolate on your headphones. I've never noticed the chocolate. I sat in your seat one day.

You've never attempted to even wipe off a morsel? Oh, my God. That is a lot of chocolate. I don't know why I never even noticed it. A satiating amount of chocolate. I never noticed it got on the headphone. That is a lot of chocolate. I don't know why I never even noticed it. Satiating amount of chocolate. I never noticed it got on the headphone. That would cease cravings.

It has no odor. That's a scary move. You got to lick it. Smelling your headphone? You got to lick it. No. Any type of brown stain. Never sniffed brown.

You got to lick it. You got to lick it. There's not fecal matter on my headphone. You got to lick it. I would say there's a better chance. Lick it. Lick it. You got to lick it. Lick it. Lick the it. There's not fecal matter on my head. You gotta lick it. I would say there's a better chance. Lick it. You gotta lick it. Lick it. Lick the chocolate.

Let's go. I don't think shit dries like that. You're fine. How would shit get on the headphones? I did shit on one of the headphones. Oh, that's not that way. Yeah. Lick it.

That doesn't stain like shit. Lick it. Is it kind of white? No. Chocolate dries out. Lick it. Oh, you l like shit. Lick it. Is it kind of white? No. Chocolate dries out. Lick it. Oh, you licked it. It tastes like a headphone.

Tastes like electronic equipment. It tastes like a headphone. Oh, man. All right, this has been a great yak. Feels good to be back. Good to be back. Great to be back. We got Clemmer on Wednesday.

Yak. Oh, we back. Great to be back. We got Clemmer on Wednesday. Yeah. Oh, we told our dynasty we're doing that you're going to give the winner $1,000. Okay. As long as it's not Brandon. Can we get Clemmer in one of those old school, like, stretching torture devices? Oh, like William Wallace? Yeah. That would be awesome.

All right. That would be awesome. All right. That would be awesome. All right, spin the wheel, TJ. Stretch arms. Oh, my God. Yes. You weren't lying. There it is.

There it is. Oh, God damn it. Oh, that sucks. Can't get to that reset. Wow. Why do we get wet so much and never get reset? It's tightest if it's wet. I get wet a lot. TJ's never been wet.

No. He has? No. I got to bring clothes tomorrow, it looks like. Yeah, he had a run. When was the last time he got wet? Yes. He's gotten wet in-

He got wet one time at the temporary office, the old Chicago place, I remember. But we did like bottles. You can't tell me the last time he got wet. He never gets wet. I've gotten wet 16 times. Yeah, you should be mad because TJ's never been wet. That was like all one day. TJ, I'm begging you to defend yourself.

I've seen you wet. Are you most wet? I'm a dry guy. I'm the most wet. He's never been wet. He's been wet in this office. No, he has not. I don't think so.

Yes, I can vividly picture. Are you thinking of somebody else? I remember he was kind of anticlimactic when he came back or may have been done now i think you're thinking of you tj say you remember this it's in your head i don't know what to tell you man tj what was last time you actually got wet i think last week london i think it was wednesday oh you're fucking with me he got wet on wednesday he's been he's like gotten wet like three out of the last four times okay

wow I don't know if you've ever been fucked with before that felt weird I appreciate you standing up for me I had to get you back for your little late 80s early 90s thing that's just been rattling in my

that was you fucking with me. No. This was. How can you not fathom that I did that on purpose? He's done it before. I don't remember it. Just like TJ's never been wet. Shit.

Have you done that before? We got to talk after. We got to figure this out. This thing. We got to figure this out. We got to figure this out. I don't We have to figure this out. We have to figure this out. I don't like when we're not on the same page. Let me come to the crib.

Okay. Sounds nice. Come through. Roll through. Let's fucking do it. Let's roll through. Hang out with the kids. Now you all have said it too much.

It's definitely never going to happen. Oh, fuck yeah. You can't say come through four times. No. Because you know he's not really. I said roll through. Big Cat, can you rent a hibachi for your backyard? Yeah, why not?

Should we do it? Yeah. I'm redoing some stuff in my backyard, so it's not. No better time for a hibachi. It's true. We could mess it. Brandon, do you have any weeping willows on your property? I do.

I have a willow. I don't know if it's weeping. I make it i'll make it fucking cry is that the one with the big that's a that's a good pissing tree yeah and like it's the leaves fall down straight to the ground almost easily lose a remote in it why is this a thing what losing the remote i don't. We're not going to. Okay, good. But it would be funny if we were all 12 of us. If somebody had the same model boat as you and they had the same remote, could they hijack us while we're in the water? Probably. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Interesting. Oh, no. Have you seen that guy who has a Roku and he just drives around his neighborhood turning off the TV? Because I was thinking we went to zero remotes, but what if we went to two remotes? We should have two remotes. Never even thought of that. Did it ever occur to you just to get in a boat and let's just have a normal time?

Did it ever occur to us to have 12 people get into a boat that has a capacity of three and have a normal time? The capacity of that boat is at least 20. It's a big boat. There's no way. i've slept on it before no you you ought to have been in the biggest of trouble to not even go to couch yeah what you slept on it yeah i took it uh i took it down river once took it down to st louis and came back it was nice no it's a small boat fuck what do you think to say I can't wait I'm so excited to get us all

on this boat it's just for fishing and for your friends and for my buddies of which some of you are and Chuck's gonna grill mhm oh oh what was that

oh what would you flip like that he flipped a burger real high. Do it again. Oh. Are you going to catch it? Where the fuck did that burger just go? Might have just landed back on the grill.

Maybe I catch it in my hat like my people. Should we do hibachi at your house with Steven? Oh, we should do hibachi. Like his people. Whatever, we'll figure it out. Should we make Stephen do grill hibachi? That's fine. Will the boat be destroyed

if it's capsized? No. Because it's an aluminum boat. Boats are resilient. Could it take on some water? Yeah. How are resilient could it take on some water just not yeah okay you could take on some how much water could take on though if we didn't have a remote not the remote will it'll be fine that's a biosecond failure to plan is a plan to fail okay we're just getting in a boat that's all we're doing. It'll be fine.

And driving around. Yeah. How far can we go? The lake's almost a mile long, so about a mile. Almost a mile. 4,000 feet. So we go a mile out? No, I didn't say a mile out.

Half a mile out? Yeah. I want to kind of go on an adventure. Half a mile out, no remote. Can I get in the tube in the back? Yes. You just pull me along? Sure.

I don't know how fast the boat will be able to go. Yeah, I don't need to go fast. I want a couple people on the tube. Yeah, I just want to kind of cruise. Is the tube big enough for two people? I don't have a tube, so we'll have to invest in a tube. Oh. Why don't we just do all two? What if we did 11 or 12 tubes?

Yes. Brandon's the only one in the boat and he's pulling all of us pretty cool and we have we don't lose the remote yeah so here's the arsenal and we're all just chilling floating a little yeah i have a like a fucking yeah i have a boat that's awesome with three chairs i have a canoe with three seats i have three kayaks and a paddleboard we should be like the spanish armada can we roll up on one of your neighbors probably won't be there at that time of day but sure yeah sure we'll wait for them yeah in the water right outside their house yeah what kind of hijinks oh we're gonna

get into some high jinx will we get into trouble what what's available to us on that all sorts of you know because you know art will be lurking yeah can we make a gravity bong in your lake oh that'd be cool i don't even know what that is yeah we can yeah okay thank you nick that would be sick we just need a two liter you have two liters no i think we should do like the like hawaiian punch or no like Like what is it? One of those hefty garbage cans. Yeah. Yeah. A garbage can.

Gravity bomb. I would like to point out my wife and kids will be there. Well, we're going to be on international gravity bong. Great. We need more to be out in the water. And we do need tiny hands for the holes at the top of the gravity bong. So we'll have one of your kids. All right.

Perfect. Okay. Great yak, everyone. We'll see everyone tomorrow. We'll see everyone tomorrow. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the act.

It's the act. See you tomorrow. Let's have a great week. Go watch the Mostly Sports College Football Dynasty first games. They start in like 20 minutes. All right, love you, bye.