The Yak - Steven Pitches an ABSURD Way to Take a Leak | The Yak 6-2-23

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Hello. It's the Yak. Promo code Yak on Roback.com. 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

Yes. Oh. The best. The best. So comfortable. I'm wearing the joggers right now. I fucking live in these joggers. Yes. Beautiful clothes. I'm wearing the joggers right now. I fucking live in these joggers. Yes.

Beautiful clothes. I just bought the shorts, too. Yeah? Yeah. Let us know. I'm going to wear them. Forgot to wear them this morning. They do have great shorts.

They have a little bit of in-line or in-line internet. They have an internet internet. They have an internet, yeah. I'm all fucked up. I have no water in my apartment. Oh. Burst of Maine. Someone burst of Maine. Do the Nets do that I'm all fucked up. I have no water in my apartment. Oh. Burst of Maine. Someone burst of Maine. The Nets do that?

Yeah. Damn it. 24 hours it's been. What are you doing? It's like Jackson back when- It's one of those things where it's like, and I love my family very much. What? Like, if shit went down, I'm the only one who could survive.

I've just been pissing outside. You're not built for it. I'm not built for it. Like, I just look around, I'm like, weakness. So what are they doing? You're not teaching a little boy to piss outside? Yeah, he can piss outside. He's got to know.

Yeah. But yeah, it's just, I just see weakness. Wait, where do you- I could go forever. Where do you go to piss outside? On my back porch. Oh, the city is a toilet, Brandon. Are you kidding?

Yeah, but you still, people can see you. The world is your little box here. It's actually just me and Stella. I let Stella out, and we both piss in the little grass we have out there. Stella lets you out. Yeah. My dad always liked to go behind our shed. Our toilets were fine, but he just enjoyed peeing behind our shed.

Of all the things that make men better than women, and there are a lot, being able to pee outside is probably number one. It's one of my favorite things to do. It really is. It is the peeing in snow. When I look to buy a house, it's one of the things I consider. Can I pee outside? Yeah.

What's my pee outside situation? What would disqualify an area from being outside? If the houses are too close, if the backyard isn't fenced, there's a lot of things that can. I'm in a densely populated area right now. I can't really... I have a corner that I go to, but I can't really pee outside. That's kind of a thrill, too.

Like, sometimes I'll come home, and I'll pee outside before I walk in my house on the streets of New York. Just being like, fuck it. Wow. Yeah. It's hard in New York. I think New York's one of the harder cities to pee in

because... I got my trick. At the same time, it's the easiest. You got to be really drunk to be like, fuck it. There's less places, but it's more acceptable. Everybody's doing it, but there's no alleys or nooks, crannies, or even every ounce of real estate is spoken for. Dude, I have all the tricks.

I do the phone call with my dick in my left hand. Walking back and forth, pacing while I'm pissing. I like the- I do the open the side car door. Yep. And just pretend you're on the phone or like that you're looking for something. Meanwhile, you're just kind of crouched over just peeing. That's great.

Right behind the car door. You ever do the shorts? Just pull one short leg? Pretend you're looking at a flower. Taking the knee is beautiful. Looking at something in nature. Yep. You can do the shorts? Just pull one short leg? Pretend you're looking at a flower. Taking the knee is beautiful. Looking at something in nature. Yep. You can do it all.

That's a nice out of New York one. Tough to take a knee in the city, but, you know. Yeah. Yeah, that does feel a little gross. Any kind of construction? Yeah. Pop right behind that? Because you know those dudes are doing it.

All day. You know construction workers are pissing. Pissing all the time. Yeah. I bet when they were building the Empire State Building, they were just those dudes are doing it. All day. You know construction workers are pissing. Pissing all the time. I bet when they were building the Empire State Building, they were just pissing off of it. Oh, that had to be the best piss. I did have a moment with this water main broken

and I went to buy a bunch of water at the bodega and as I was coming back a couple of the workers recognized me and were stoolies. And they were like, they wanted to just hang out and talk. And I was like, yeah, but like the water? Yeah, can I flush?

Yeah, can we get this fixed? Part of my take is cool and all, but if you can't utilize it to get your toilets up and running, it might be useless. Sucks. Speaking of pissing. Yeah. I feel comfortable sharing this now. There's a new way to piss that I don't think enough people are doing, and it's very funny. I'm so excited about it. You've unlocked a new way to piss?

Here we go. I just dropped? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Babe, wake up. Babe, wake up. A new way to pee just dropped. Wait, wait. Before Steven says this, do we think it's going to be something we've been doing our whole lives?

Something you and I did when we were like six. Yeah, right. Or is it going to be something that's like it's not a new way? Or is it going to actually – is he going to deliver votes? No, no, no. I was hoping we needed to like unscrew the teller. I believe him. I guess.

He rarely delivers. I think he is. You think he's going to deliver in this instance? I just believe in him, man. I see he's rocking the think he's going to deliver in this instance? I just believe in him, man. I see. He's rocking the shirt. I believe in him today. I think he's like O for Lifetime when he goes with, I have a new way filling the blade. It's funny. I know what it is.

It's funny. Can I guess you're standing facing the toilets behind you, but you're a little bit over the toilet and you put your between your legs backwards. Did you just bleep out penis? I don't think you get how dicks work, Kate. No?

That ain't it, no. Okay, through the legs. It's a summer special only. All right. Okay. So a lot of people, they go to the beach, and one of the delights is, you know, there's not toilets, there's outhouses around, so you just go in the ocean and piss.

Something that's way funnier. I've been doing this for the last, like, 10 years, and it's just because a buddy was like, it would be really funny if you did this And then I did it once I think I know what you're going to say So you go to the edge of the water Oh

And then you piss your pants And then you just walk in the ocean It's hilarious But You're literally an adult peeing yourself For who? What? For yourself

What's the difference? This is also not a new way to piss Or when your buddy's like watching you What? It's hilarious You're just walking in there and peeing Nah and your buddies like watching you. It's hilarious. They're just walking in there and peeing. No, because some people will see you, and it's funny.

You don't think they're more likely to see you when you're pissing your fucking pants? That's what he's saying. More people will see you, and that's why he likes the exhibitionism of it. Okay, now that we've heard this, I'm voting not delivered. Big Cat, I want to apologize. I want that off my record. I believed in him. I'm sorry. If you see it, I believed in him. I'm sorry.

If you see it, it's very funny. He never delivers. How far short of the water do you stop? Right at the edge. I don't think anyone notices what you're doing. Oh, no. People have seen it. You stand and piss yourself.

Yep. Pee your pants. You know what? If you had said pool, I would think that's funny because that's a lot more enclosed. That's someone's house. Are your shorts already wet? Can or cannot be? what if you had said pool i would think that's funny because that's a lot more enclosed that's someone's house are your shorts already wet there only is house pools what about the piss is like streaming down your leg and imprinting on the sand so it's very obvious what you're doing oh you're not even in the water you're just hilarious like if you do if you uh it's tough

to do like with your wife and kids and stuff like that, but if you're ever at the beach with friends, that's the move, 2023. No, but if you're with your wife and kids, you've got to do it. That's when you have to do it. It's funnier if it's like you with a buddy. What about this at all makes it a new way to piss, though? You did introduce this. Have you ever done it before?

No. Checkmate. He did get you there. He's ragdoll? No. Checkmate. He did get you there. You've been... He's ragdolled you. Damn. I'm happy that I stayed firm with... Damn, I got checkmated 10 minutes into the show.

Both ways. You got it from both sides. Damn. Damn. I've pissed myself before to be... As a joke, but not at the edge of the ocean. I feel like at the edge of the ocean, it's impossible to avoid families and shit like that. Just walk on in

and do it. You're just going to get called a pervert. He's doing it for the pics. You could, but then it's a new way. The old way is you walk in and you do it. Nobody sees it and it's discreet and it feels cool and it's a treat once in a while. I got a new, new way when I get to the ocean

when you're unloading the car. Piss my pants right there. That'd be terrible. You got to walk to the ocean, when you're unloading the car, piss my pants right there. Yeah. That'd be terrible. You got to walk to the beach, hold on to that shit. Drag it on a little wagon. How far can we get Che away from the water line? Yeah, we'll just keep going, yeah.

Before you leave the hotel, go ahead and just pee right there in the elevator. My cousin had a party trick. I think I've said it on here before, but at the bar once, he was like, hey girls, look at this. And he started doing this with his hands, so everybody's looking up at his hands, and he just peed his pants. That's awesome. And I thought it was very funny.

That is very funny. But then you're stuck. Peeing your pants is, as we've seen, very, very fucking funny. Very funny. I don't know why you would. I don't know. Because as the person. The ocean's right there.

Get in the ocean. As the person peeing your pants, the downside of peeing your pants is then you have piss in your pants all day. But if you do it right in front of the ocean, bang. Problem solved. If you're in the ocean. I guess my problem here is I'm not it's not that it isn't funny. It's that like you had to be

told and it was like this new thing. That's the part I'm confused about. Alright, you guys are down on the idea understandably. No, no, I'm not down on the idea. I've done it. I've done it in a pool.

I've just seen myself standing at the edge of the pool. You also introduced it as a new idea and then said you'd been doing it for 10 years. That's true. Yeah. You've been rocking that for a while. It's new to you. All right, we'll need video.

You know what? Let's say that- There is a photo somewhere of me doing it. Good addition, but we're going to need a video, and then we can judge whether it's funny off the video. Is that fair? It will be funny. We'll judge if it's new.

Yeah, new and funny. What's your next beach trip? Two criteria. Middle of July, I think. Okay, so new and funny will be the judging scale. Do you ever do... We used to do sand diapers. This is gross, but up in the dunes you ever do that ron

we gotta stop bringing up piss around kate where when the water he actually has some new ways he is actually an innovator but when we were kids down in sea isle and the water was really cold and you didn't want to go back up to the houses but you wanted to pee we would just go up into the edge of the dunes and we would dig holes and we'd like pull the sand around ourselves and we'd just pee in the nice warm sand. And then when you get up, all the sand has absorbed all the pee. You just brush yourself off. Now that is a new way.

That is a new way. That's so much more effort though. We called it sand diapers, which is gross. Yeah, that's why a woman has to just piss wherever you are. But it was so warm on those colder days. Sand was? Yeah. That is much more innovative and better than what Steven said.

It was comforting. My concern is that the pee would kind of soak through the sand, and then pee sand would be sitting on parts of you that would have never gotten pee wet. You know what I mean? If it leaks down to the top of your legs or something like that, that would have never got pee on it. At what age, if you pee in public are you like are people like hey what are you doing 12 yeah i think we were young no one cared if we had a little pee cake i don't know i don't remember exactly but no like absorbed it all because it was the dry dune sand and you just

like brush the clubs i've had my like i've i've been walking on the street and my son's been like i gotta pee and i'll just pee in like one of those, like, I'll have him pee in one of those like little trees on the sidewalk. Yeah. In public. I feel like that's got to be fine. He's over the age where that's fine. Yeah.

I was reading in some countries, it's like normal for parents when they're toddlers, like potty training age. No, nobody blinks twice. They just hold their kids over like the trash cans and let them go. Oh, that's funny. They're like peeing poop in the trash cans. I might do that. Yeah.

But it's like nobody blinks twice. Like, that's funny. They're like being poop in the trash cans. I might do that. Yeah. But it's like nobody blinks twice. Like, that's just okay. That feels like maybe. I was in Delaware this past weekend. They don't have trash cans. What? There's not trash cans outside in Delaware. The whole state is?

Anywhere. Yeah, pretty much. Did you get in? Delaware, well, it's not trash, but it's a safe place for ugly people to get old and rich. Yes. It's like a safe landing for ugly people to get old and rich. Yes. It's a safe landing spot if you're not, you know. My parents just went to Total Wines yesterday.

Yeah, exactly. Totally, totally. Axe-free liquor. Totally. I could see myself landing there. Delaware? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it's old paradise. It's a great place to get old and ugly. It is pretty crazy that there could be like one cultural moment that just changes your opinion about something for the rest of your life because I just Wayne's World. Oh, I'm in Delaware. Let's go see a screen door effect. Yeah. Then from that moment on, I'm like, Delaware is boring as fuck.

It is. And that ruined it. But then everybody's like, why does it suck? And then they go there, and it's like, wait, it doesn't suck that bad. And people are building all these new houses right now. Houses are popping up because I think Wayne's World cast such a pall for so long over Delaware. Delaware's next up? It's just getting out from under it.

It's just getting out from under all the ugliness. It's a lot of beach, though, right? Joe Flacco was big for Delaware. What percentage of beach in Delaware? Can we see a map of Delaware? Tax-free shopping. You know what hurts Delaware too is Rhode Island gets all the love for being the smallest, but Delaware's tiny as fuck too. Very tiny.

It's also a pass-through state. Get through it in three hours. Yep. Quick little nugget. It's also like you're going... The whole thing? I think you can do it in an hour and a half, can't you? Well, left to right you can get through in ten minutes, but like... I bet you can go north to south. Is that true? Is that skinny? I think you can do it in like an hour and a half, can't you? Well, left to right you can get through in ten minutes. I bet you can go north to south. Is that true? It's that skinny? Maybe not ten minutes, but it's extremely narrow.

It's a tiny thing. And it's got the bay and the ocean. You got a little nice mix of both. I guess it's taller than I thought it was. Oh, yeah, that is Delaware. I never looked at a map of Delaware. See, Delaware would be a lot cooler if they just took away All that Maryland right there If they had the whole

Little nub I've been to Cape May, New Jersey and you could see Delaware Yes Took the Cape May ferry this past weekend I mean Wilmington you leave that That should just be part of Philadelphia And it should start right at that Chesapeake City that's where it should start and it should be there now

I think it's also like You said it's older, I don't think I've ever met anyone from Delaware. No one is. No one is from there. Nobody's from there. It's all- Or the people from there don't ever leave.

One of my crazies that I had to report to the police for impersonating Tommy was from Delaware. Delaware. Delaware, yeah. See, he's bored. Yeah, he's from Newark, Delaware. Oh, God. Oh, that's a Udell kid.

Yeah. That's a bad person. Bad person. But they have no outdoor trash cans. I tried to throw something out on the beach, and there was nothing. Nothing existed. There was no place for me to take it. Isn't it crazy?

I bet you if Delaware had an Ivy League school, people would think of Delaware differently. Totally. Like, it's the stupidest shit. It'd be a big part of the East Coast Totally. Like, it's the stupidest shit. It'd be a big part of the East Coast if Cornell was there. They just get forgotten. I don't know any other college there besides UDEL. Right, that's what I'm saying.

Is there any? Salisbury, maybe? Or is that Maryland? Or Louisiana, maybe? Couldn't name a single other school there besides that one. Delaware State, maybe? Joe Biden from Delaware? Yes. What a fall.

Yeah. Oh, man. The Biden from Delaware? Yes. What a fall. Yeah. Oh, man. The pointing, as you pointed out, the pointing at whatever tripped him was classic. I like that move. I've done that before. You have to. Somebody fix that. You have to.

Oh, whoa, whoa. What was that? It's like when you're playing tennis and you miss the ball and you just look at your racket like there's a hole. Yeah. Who fucking did that? And then I tweeted that and then I have just I have both sides

Being mad at me Oh you're on political twitter now Doesn't take much That's a fucking guy you voted for I hope you're happy And then the other side being like You can see it's a sandbag right there go back Find something else to do Maga cat

Dude I'm laughing because an old guy Fell down Old guys falling down is great some guy tried to get me he's like that was your grandmother i was like well my grandmother's dead and if my grandmother was president of the united states i would expect people to make fun of her if she fell i'll tell you right now my grandmother who is passed if she fell like that in front of me i would i would pick her up i would help help her, but I would laugh. That's funny. Totally. And he'd make fun of her all the time. It wasn't like a life alert

situation. He didn't sell it like Ronaldo or some shit. He wasn't rolling around. Yeah, he got up. He bounced up. He's got one good fall year. Last summer was the bike. This summer he's got the... In this case, laughing isn't appropriate. Dude, guy falls.

It's like man gets hit with football and nuts. Yes, it's a nut shot. Falling is funny. Tripping is funny. Falling is fucking funny. It's actually more disrespectful to not laugh at him. Right. Because you're like, oh, he's invalid.

Yeah. He's so fucking old that we can't even laugh at him. Which he might be. Which is fine. But I'm still going to laugh at him. Hey, what got you up there? The guy's getting hit nuts. I was scrolling Instagram.

I've been getting very targeted things, and one just hit it right on the head. It was a first pitch. No pun intended. Yeah. It was a first pitch. Oh, that missed? And it hit the camera guy in the wiener. So funny.

That was a few years ago. So good. So funny. So now look at some nut shots. Now that we've broached that topic. Glennie Balls. Glennie Balls. Oh, yeah, we've got to watch it.

I mean, PFD did nail it. They don't call them Glennie Strikes. What happened? What happened with Glennie? Oh, I mean, that's just. He threw out the first pitch somewhere. You can't. You can't have that happen.

He makes it to the dirt. I mean, his stride. You can tell that's going left by his stride forward wait is that edited in sound the crowd that's real sound no way that's perfect crowd sound oh that's fake that's similar to joe biden if you're glenny balls you got to grab your arm like you tore something. Yeah. And just be like, oh, fuck. Fall. Fall to your hand. Yeah. Not appropriate to laugh.

Not appropriate to laugh at Glennie Pauls. It's our president. That's not piped in noise. That's his video. I haven't seen it with sound before. That's so funny. No, that's. Are you sure that's not?

It's from Glennie. The video's from Glennie. Oh, then that's crazy. I haven't thrown out a first pitch yet. Fun. I want to. I have. thrown out a first pitch yet. Fun. I want to. I have. Yet.

No, you have. You cocky bastard. I'm trying to make it happen. I haven't done it yet. Multiple. Frank's done like 30. All yours were good, Big Cat? One.

A Cubs one? Two Cubs ones. One of the Cubs ones was with a bunch of kids with cancer, and they were throwing from 20 feet away, and I went on the rubber. So I probably shouldn't have done that, but showed him up i was just like i'm throwing from the rubber sorry um welcome in the back of the head none of them were strikes got there though they got nothing bounced you just gotta get it there i the way to do it is you if you don't

throw a strike it's like well that was that was – it was 0-2 count. I was wasting one. Wasting a pitch, yeah, making them chase. Yeah, rush them off a little bit. Right. Political leanings aside, the George W. Bush on the first game after September or the World Series after September, that's the greatest first pitch of all time, right? Not even close. 50 Cent's pretty high up there.

I mean, 50 Cent is iconic. I think the girl who did the flip or whatever. Oh, yes. Oh, here we go. Damn, you... Yeah, that wasn't bad. Did that hit? Wait, that didn't.

No. I mean, you went through the whole fucking thing, though. Yeah, I held it. You didn't hold back. You did the Hideo Nomo. Yeah, yeah. I really went... I held it.

Held my moment. Which is rare, because most people kind of pussyfoot the throat, because they panic at the last second. Oh, I was going, yeah. That. Which is rare because most people kind of like pussyfoot the throw because they panic at the last second. Oh, I was going, yeah. That looked like you threw it like 80 miles an hour. Yeah. Might have. Sped up?

That must have been sped up. Might have. Oh, this was last summer. Weren't you talking shit to all the players? Yeah. That was high. I would have hit him in the head. The right-handed batter.

I think high is fine. Yeah, you just can't bounce it. And it was straight, at least. It wasn't like high, like loping. You got to go from the rubber, and you can't bounce it. How fast do you think you guys could pitch a baseball? I'm probably 70. It would be top.

I'd say 65 to 70. 65 to 70. I can't. My arm's not what it was. 65 to 70 seems about right. 60 to 65. I'll go a little bit lower than him. I did one at My arm's not what it was. 65 to 70 seems about right. 60 to 65. I'll go a little bit lower than him. I did one at Yankee Stadium a few years ago.

I couldn't surpass 59. I could do that. It's harder than you think. No, I mean, yeah. Brandon's also a... Super athlete. Super athlete unit. He's that height that he'll be

fucking dropping that bitch from a bird's eye view you're Randy Johnson you're essentially Randy Johnson I'm essentially Randy Johnson

do you think if you threw your fastest pitch you would destroy a bird like Randy Johnson I think I would injure a bird

I think I would piss the bird off I think the bird would fly back to its nest and be like, this is bullshit. The Randy Wood Johnson one died, right? It exploded. I think a bird would lean into my pitch like Albert Bell

and refuse to take the walk. Throw it again. If you hit it in the head. Oh yeah, this is the nut shot. Oh, so good. So good. I want to say he definitely did that on purpose, but that guy just like- You couldn't do it.

He was just tracking the ball with his camera. Had no idea. No idea. Oh, my God. Nut shots. Y'all want to do nut shots? Let's do nut shots. What's the worst nut shot you guys have ever-

Does it stick out in your mind? I delivered one to somebody that almost ruined a friendship. Really? EFT and I almost broke up because of me hitting the nuts. I tried to fake kicking somebody one time, and I accidentally went too far, and I hit him right in the nuts, but I kind of barely grazed him at the same time. Which is the worst. Which is worse.

Yeah. Somehow that's worse. If you just hit the nut and don't the worst. Which is worse. Yeah. Somehow that's worse. If you just hit the nut and don't like compact it, it hurts worse. Yeah. I'm also in like, with little kids now, I'm just I get nutshotted like once a week. How about the nutshot where the little kid

punches his dad in the nuts as they're unloading the TV and he drops it off a balcony? Have you guys seen this nutshot? No. Fake? No, it's so real. A kid just, it's like a duplex. And this guy, they have like an 85 inch TV

and a kid just runs out of the house, fucking nut shots his dad and they think he immediately drops the TV. The kid runs back inside. It is an American classic nut shot. Oh yeah. Oh god. It is an American classic. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, no.

I'm going to say possibly set up. I don't know. His reaction is pretty good where he's just like, because that is a dead reaction. He's mad, but he's not going after the, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where you just kind of sit there and you're like, well, this sucks. Let me take this in first. Watch it again. Why wouldn't you take it down your inside stairs?

Maybe they're putting it up in their backyard. Or they're bringing it downstairs, I think. Yeah, but why outside? They're taking it outside to have an outside TV. That kind of TV? That's what they're doing. They're taking it outside to have an outside TV. This is the extended cut.

Okay. Beautiful house. Where do we think this is? Why would she put that down and not just sit in? Why would they have a camera? Why would she put that towel down and not stand there and just hold it? Because the guy's got it. No, he's...

This guy's going downstairs. He's trying to figure out how to do it. I think both the reactions, I'm going to say, may be real. That is real. Why would they have a camera there, though? It's like a... A ring cam? Yeah, look, it's a ring cam.

Yeah, that's a ring cam. He also kind of... I feel like he kind of pushes it. Yeah, something was in our motion. You guys are trying to debunk this? Oh, no. We have to enjoy these at the purest level, right? But we got to make them earn it.

They should really make this illegal. Nutshot? No. We got to make them earn it. They should really make this illegal. Nutshot? No. We've got to make them earn it. Make videos that look real. Yes. Let's just see if he... I think he pushes it a little bit. Bullshit. How would the kid run out and... Will you at least go into this with an open mind? Let's watch it again. We go with open mind? I've watched this video for three years. I know it's

your video. Because that kid's punch was not that hard. What account? What's the YouTube account? It's not the hardest punches. It's the light punches. Well, it's also a surprise. A surprise gets you, too.

But also, think about it. Like, to have your kid be in on that is a little difficult. Totally. What kid is acting that out perfectly? I think if my son was like a year too older and I was like go punch daddy in the nuts he would

absolutely like delight so it was real so then that would be a real punch in the nuts well you're right I guess that would be a real punch in

the nuts can we see the nut shot compilation yeah I'd like to get an hour long nut nut shot combo be careful see what jackass

is built on I know it was so it's so awesome it's it's like it's so awesome. It's, it's like, it's just one of those things that like, you just remind yourself that you're still human. Like when I watch a puke video, when I watch a nut shot video, I will laugh. Yeah.

It's great. It's the totem from inception being like, are you, do you still, are you, do you still have a little child in you? Well, that was came out weird. Oh. That was an all time. Yeah, that one was bad. That was, we were doing literally, we were doing nut shots.

As soon as I started at Barstool, it was still in the nut shot phase. Yeah, we almost broke up because it hit me so hard. Hurt so bad. No, another one. We went through. We literally were like, let's bring nut shots back. And it was bad. It was stupid.

Rowan, the one you did that you almost lost a friend over, was it just like you guys were just like coursing around? I drove cross country with this guy to move him from Philadelphia to San Diego. Got to San Diego. We were in his new house, like unloading stuff. And he had like a wiffle ball bat. And I kind of just he was just sitting there like so calm. Came a little.

And I like I like kind of just like pulled the end of the bat back. And so it had a little extra and it just snapped his nuts. And he had to lock himself in his room so he didn't beat my ass. Like the light ones can be more dangerous. Hundred percent. Like a flick can sometimes can be more dangerous 100 like a flick can sometimes be way more painful than the flick rips on the balls and a good hit crunches them in which i think balls can be squished it's also like when you see a big if there's a wind up you can kind of give yourself a little like you know that yes uh jake also nutshotted i Hank Was it Jake nutshotting Hank

I can't see Jake pulling a nutshot Might have been Jake to Hank It was some bet Might have been Hank to Jake And he fucked him up bad I can see Hank doing it to Jake Because Hank's a menace Oh some parkour nuts

Oh we will enjoy Oh no Superhuman Oh, we will enjoy. Oh! See, that's not... Oh, no. Superhuman? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, whoa! No, no, no!

Fuck! Fuck! That was awesome. I don't know if I can watch this. I don't think I can watch this. That's Johnny Knoxville, right? Oh, it's the look of all that, right? There it is.

Oh, my God. Oh! See, that will never hurt as much as... Oh! Anyone that you can control your own body will never hurt as much as one Oh! One that you can control your own body will never hurt as much as one that's, like, out of nowhere. Yeah, that someone else does. Light tube?

Yeah. I would love to talk to doctors. That one didn't really hit him in the nuts. Like, ER doctors from the jackass era. And then be like, we had so many ripped apart nuts. Yeah. For, like, two years. There were definitely, like...

Oh, God. Oh, that was stupid. Holy fuck. I don't know if this is everywhere, but in... Oh, see that one, like, when you're not fully expecting it. Oh! Oh.

Oh. He shuffled back. I think that was the guy that was on, uh, this guy who's on America's Got Talent. You think these guys have tight sacks? Or what makes a guy better at getting smashed in his nuts? We also wonder with these plan ones, how much padding have we gotten into this?

Yeah, and if you get in a grundle, it's not as painful. And if you're wearing jeans. The purest nut shot is when you and your boys are standing there and somebody surprises you. You're not expecting it. And the quick dick flick. Skaters and shit. Yeah, like that. That's a good nut.

That hurts. And that's why I think the kid is real. Oh. That was grundle. See, that's why I think the kid is real Oh That was grunt That's like asshole Oh my god Oh my god You should be nut shot breeders Oh yes

Yes Yes A lot Oh that's done. I did that once. Oh, Jake. That's so awesome that there's this many. I want to make a Nutshock compilation video.

Can we get pro athletes getting hit in the nuts? That would be oh yeah That's good fake out It's a sledgehammer nut shot. Aim, aim, aim. Yes, go. Oh! Oh! Oh! All I can think about, like, as a mom now, is how do I prevent my son from doing this when he's a teenager.

What would you guys say? What's your lifetime? Probably 30 times I've been really hitting the nuts. It's slowed over the last few years. It's picked up now for me because of my kids. The worst with kids is the nap nut shot. I've had that a couple times. Oh, the unintentional one where they're trying to get on you. They'll just jump off a couch onto you. Yeah, where I'm sleeping and I get woken up with a nut shot.

Like a dog climbing up to you sometimes will smash your nuts. Yeah. A dog climbing onto your lap or some shit. I've always wanted to ask, and I never, I got to remind myself when I interview these professional wrestlers, I want to ask how they fake when they fall on the ropes. Like Shawn Michaels will fall on the rope? That's some give. Yeah, but still.

This is why. Why do you gimmick that? I think, I hope, you know, AI, everyone's like, oh, AI's going to ruin the world. The one thing I hope we get out of AI is just lifetime stats. How great would that be? Mount of nut shots. You just look it up. Like your own?

Yeah. Like here's how many times you've hit the nuts. Everything. Everything in your lifetime stats. Amount of hamburgers you've eaten. I used to think that that was like what heaven would be like. Just give me all of it. Just go in and you're like, how many steps did I take?

Yeah. How many times did I jerk off? How many accidental crimes? Yeah. I want to know. How close was I to death? Yeah. How many times people have jerked off to you?

Yeah. Top ten closest to death moments. Yeah, or like if I just missed something, like sliding doors moments or something like that, where if I would have just missed something. Like how many murders you've walked past. Oh, yeah. Like famous people before they're

famous. Yeah. Oh, man. Or like your life highlight reel of sports. Like your most athletic moments. I want that bad. And even like small shit where just like you're playing catch and you just like stab something. I thought about that a lot.

Yeah. Just getting somewhere and just watching back your highlight tape of basketball or something. Baseball. Little League. God, that'd be great. That'd be great. Glory to God. Fuck, that would rule.

Now I want that bad. I'm going to town on this. We got some gifts today. Yeah, from Gab. The best. If you recall, Gab was one of the interns who was here for the week. And I'm killing myself that I don't have her Instagram account. But she made me. She's the one who does the awesome jean jackets where I was like fellas if you want to impress your girl

get them a custom jean jacket by gab she said my New York Giants blood was boiling while making this but I hope you love it uh this is awesome so she made me a jean jacket wow got the Eagles logo it's got the green pocket the green on the end of the sleeves. Jalen Hurts, just like I asked for, with actual pieces of jersey on it. And this is just fucking awesome. Having actual pieces of that jersey, like, that's expensive. I know. It's expensive and super nice.

And then she said, when I have my son, she's going to make a teeny, tiny jean jacket for him. Oh, hell yes. Which is awesome. But, Gab like does anyone have her instagram yeah she put it on here did we decide are we gonna name your son with the wheel yes yeah okay yeah oh it is are we actually though at gmaid underscore customs or at gab b dan d'angelo i'm butchering it there she is but i'm telling you if you get this for your girlfriend your wife whoever this is a good gift that's like a legit actual hell yeah that we want shout out gab so shout out gab this was so thoughtful so awesome and it made my day this is so cool thank you gab i'm asking a wrestler. Steven's a big fan of Gab. And look, she even put the wheel on her card. Like, find me a more thoughtful, wonderful person.

Are we actually going to name your son on the wheel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're saying yeah, but is it a real yeah? Oh, I think, I actually think that if you did, like, we wouldn't decide the names. Okay. The beef comes on the yak one day. He comes with four names. You come with four names.

You've seen his names list, right? I know, but that's the beauty of it. What's his names list? But no, we could do it all. He comes with four names. You come with four names. You both get a couple vetoes. So essentially, you won't end up with a name you really don't want.

We'll just have the wheel. Think about it. The pregnancy announcement was on a case race. This child is the axe. These pat's names ron champion oh yes major yes torque science toughness motor nasa lawrence i don't know why longitude excellence big dick t metallis's oh all right why are champion and major scratch out there far and away the best two i think those were the ones he was really considering for our first child and i guess i i guess i turned those down and so you kept science well why did he put lawrence i have no i could like lawrence being in there could not begin to tell you longitude why did piston get

eliminated a great name i don't know how he thinks or why. So you want to get something more traditional like James? Not boring. Boring. But more traditional. What are some of your names on your list? I don't want to say them.

Unless the wheel picks something better. I kind of already have the name I think. Oh. Why don't you to say that. I kind of maybe, unless the wheel picks something better, I kind of already have the name, I think. Oh. I don't want to. Why don't you just put it, why don't you make it, why don't you like make it odds? So like five out of the ten are the name you want. Or no, not even.

Oh, okay. The specific one you want. And then maybe he could get a couple slots for major. Okay. Something like that. You get one veto. Fine. Fine.

It would be electric. Okay. So 50% are all the name that you Fine. Fine. It would be electric. Okay. So 50% are all the name that you want, which you don't even have to say. Think about how cool it would be. Could you imagine if when you're 18 you can go and watch the episode of your name? The picture name? Watch yourself be named? Yeah.

That would be amazing. That's awesome. His middle name would be Wheel. Yeah. Wagon Wheel. I'll have Pat work on it over the weekend. Okay. With the new list.

And then my name will be every other, the one that I would like. Chat likes Tork. Tork? Chat likes Tork. Tork is a good name. Tork is a good name. Tork is an absolute garbage name. It's a girl's name, though, right?

What? Tork? Can't name a kid Tork. We call him Torkay. If a Tork walked in right here right now, first of all, he'd probably nutshot you. And then we would laugh and be like, Torque, you're part of the crew. Yeah, that's a mullet name. Yeah. Torque.

There's gotta be a baby named Torque out there. There's gotta be a couple Torkes. Oh, definitely. All the names. The ESPN anniversary, they did like, they had like a list of kids that were named ESPN. What? Really? There was like, there's like a registry of kids that were named ESPN. What? Really? There was a registry of kids, I mean, I guess of every name,

but there was more than one kid named ESPN, and they said it Espen or something. Isn't that – it's like Jalen Rose started Jalen. Yes, they started Espen as a name. Yeah. It's crazy to be like... Jalen's everywhere. Everywhere, but it's literally... Get my jacket. He's a... The popularity of Jalen's...

Like, no one was named Jalen until he burst on the scene. Shaquille. Shaquille did that. Shaquille. Shaquille is even more exotic. Jalen seemed like it's been around... It seems biblical almost. Yeah, it's like a very normal name. It is. Five letters, two syllables. Wonder if these people are pissed.

This is 04. What about when ESPN went woke? So ESPN is now. That sucks. You thought you could. 21 years old. Sports center. This poor kid, yeah.

Espen McCall is 21 years old. Oh, Espen. I actually kind of like Espen. Is this kid going to. Put it on the wheel. Put it on the wheel. ESPN. Espen. Espen. Kind of like Aspen. Espen. I actually kind of like Espen. Put it on the wheel. Put it on the wheel. E-S-P-E-N. Espen.

Espen. Kind of like Aspen. Espen. Yes. Or like Barstool or something. You could name the kid Barstool. Just David Portnoy? Yeah, David.

You think we'd get a kid named Yak? It could be. There's a Riggs. There's a Riggs out there. Baby Riggs. Remember? Someone named their kid after Riggs. Do you guys remember that?

No. Riggs Rahim, I think is... If somebody was having a kid and their last name was King or Kidman, whatever. I've been notified that there's some Rhoans out there. Y-A-K is an initials word play. There's some Rhoans? Like named Rhone. But I think

they maybe threw an H in. But they're like, we liked your name. I like that. Named it Rhone. R-O-H-N? R-H-O-N- liked your name. I like that. Named it Roan. R-O-H-N? R-H-O-N-E. Oh, I like that. Like the shirt? Yeah, I like the shirt brand. But it's also like a type of, it's like a color

and it's also a type of horse. Like a Roan pony or something like that. A Roan pony? Yeah, dude. Imagine someone from Delco. I'm going to go bet on the Roan pony.

Leave no stone unturned Brandon you had your you had the name thing with the horses I liked it but I think you don't understand that like everything sounds cool as a horse name but not every movie does I mean like

return a return of the Jedi doesn't sound like cool if they're too long there was a if there was a horse named return of the Jedi that would be awesome if there's like if it's a too long you know eternal sunshine the spotless mind doesn't sound like a horse named Return of the Jedi, that would be awesome. If it's a too long, you know, Eternal Sunshine and Spotless Mind doesn't sound like a horse name.

But Eternal Sunshine would be a great horse. It needs to be a two or three word name. Or Spotless Mind. Yeah. Nick Cage movies have the best horse names. I'm saying, I think what you're misunderstanding is that pretty much everything sounds cool as a horse name. But there are levels of sounding cool. Yeah.

I think. Nick Cage was the number one. I think he was close. Nick Cage is also a a horse name. But there are levels of sounding cool. Yeah. I think. Nick Cage was the number one. I think he was close. Nick Cage is also a great horse name. Ghost Rider is a great one. Snake Eyes is a great one. National Treasure. I'm going to see your Nick Cage, and I'm going to raise you a Mel Gibson.

Give me Mel Gibson. The Patriot. Lethal Weapon. Braveheart. Braveheart's good. You don't think Lethal Weapon is a good horse name? So after I started doing it I learned that Wesley Snipes might be the winner

It's like Blade Passager 57, New Jack City Demolition Man and Money Train Would you bet on a horse name? Money Train is incredible Money Train is super good What else does Mel give? What about John Hughes' movie Uncle Buck?

Weird Science? I don't know. I don't know, Kate. Kate, if you just don't get the assignment. Sixteen Candles? That's a silly horse name. This is like dressage horses. Yeah, mine are.

I'm doing the dancing. Yeah, yeah, dressage. Talking dancing horses, right? Yeah. Did you do De Niro? I did a lot of people. Mel Gibson, The Patriot, Lethal Weapon, Braveheart are all good. Oh, De Niro. He's apocalyptic.

Missing someone. Mean Streets, The Godfather, Taxi Driver would be an awesome horse name. Yes, Taxi Driver would be cool. Gear Hunter. Raging Bull. Yeah. De Niro. De Niro. Oh, man. Can you name a Hunter? Raging Bull? Yeah. And it was...

Can you name a horse? Raging Bull? Yeah. Yeah. Jackknife? Goodfellas? Yeah. I think it might be De Niro's got... Casino? Stallone was good with Rocky and Over the Top and Cliffhanger. Meet the Fockers?

No. Meet the Fockers is good. Meet the Fockers is good. Silver Linings Playbook. Silver Linings would be a great horse name. American Hustle? No. De Niro's pretty heist. Yeah.

The thing about Denzel, everybody did Denzel and then they missed some of his best movies. Glory would absolutely be a great horse name. Glory would be a great horse name and like Bone Collector is good some of these horse names might be taken if a horse wins enough they retire I mean Nicolas Cage, National Treasure just won the Preakness

so yeah where's your point that's how it got me on this point National Treasure won we had with Biz we came up with Leather Cheerio There's my point. That's how it got me on this point. National Treasure won. With Biz, we came up with Leather Cheerio. As a horse name? Yeah.

Suiting him for butthole. Oh, of course. Yeah, Leather Cheerio would be a great... Imagine if Leather Cheerio won the Kentucky Derby. Because you can just sneak that in. Yes. I mean, if you just take a picture of a real leather Cheerio. I always just thought if you just did, like, bet on this horse. Yeah.

Winner. Or fastest horse alive. Fastie. Shirley Temple movies, The Little Colonel, Wee Willie Winky, Heidi Dimples. You're doing horse names for, like, ponies that show up to a three-year-old's birthday party. Savannah of the Mounties? That would be... I know it's a hot topic right now, but I want to shoot all of your horses.

Ed. Hey. Lou Factory. We should be eating horses, man. We should be eating horses, man. We should. How does, you know how, you guys ever see horse videos where they're shaving the hooves off? And then the horses go wild and then their shoes kind of look like an elf's shoe? Yes. What do wild, how do wild horses get their hooves groomed?

I think the horses that have horseshoes, their nails grow into the horseshoes kind of thing. I don't think they have to worry about it. Wild horses just don't have a growth like that on their foot? Beaver teeth would continuously grow forever, except they file them down on stuff in nature. Maybe horses buff them

on bogs. Or just walking around. I don't cut Stella's nails because she just walks on pavement. How many wild horses are there in America? A lot. Really? There's a lot in Delaware. No, there's no wild horses in Delaware.

Assateague Island, I stayed there one night. There's no wild horses in Delaware. There 100% are. I just had this conversation, and I was equally dumbfounded. There's not that many wild horses. I'm going to say there's less than 2,500 wild horses in the making. You know how Michigan has the pure Michigan? We're just doing an ad for Delaware.

There's wild horses. The national parks? Come on. They're not actually wild horses. I swear to God. And then in the middle of the night. Oh, that's Delaware? Yes, dude.

No, no, wait. Those horses are suspiciously beautiful. Isn't that Maryland? If you showed me that picture, I'd be like, that's somewhere in Ibiza. Yes, but it's all on the eastern shore. I don't think those horses are suspiciously beautiful. I swear, you're sitting on the beach, and they're just clopping around. And at night, you hear their little hooves passing by your tent.

It's so weird. That's crazy. Outer Banks has them as well. There's wild horses all over Outer Banks. What would be the natural predator of wild horses? Nothing. In Delaware. But they are a prey animal because their eyes are on the side of their head,

and that means they're prey, and if the eyes are on the front of their head, that means you're a predator. That's true. Oh, shit. What about Hammerhead Shark? I think they're on the side. They're still pointing forward, don't they? Do they?

I don't know. Hammerhead Shark must be prey. Did you see that video from Texas last weekend? The Hammerhead Shark in Galveston? Yeah. It's crazy. Hammerhead shark doesn't scare me. I punch it right in the face.

That's the most punchable because it's got more head. Like the school. Great white doesn't scare me. Just stick my hand in its fucking gills. Dead. Depends on where I am. You got to go to the end of the video. It doesn't get good until towards the end.

You can tell it's big, though. It gets closer to shore. Hammerhead sharks are the number one cartoon shark, right? Yes. And remember the old school gummy sharks? Yes. Hammerhead was always the best flavor. It was the white one.

Oh, dude. The white sharks were the best. See that shark right there? It's just a really stupid shark. That's a big-ass shark. It's so awesome to be able to get that close to a shark just by being like, I'm on land. You can't get me. Yeah, fuck you, brother. You can't fucking stand.

Come into my world. Walk one time. That would be another stat I'd like to see, how close you've been to a shark without realizing it, like in the water. Like how much danger you've been close to in the water. You think you've ever been within 20 feet of a shark? Yes. Especially in California.

You've snorkeled? Or one that would hurt you? Yes. I've snorkeled in Bahamas, yeah. Yeah, you've definitely been near a shark. But I could see for 20 feet. Yeah, what about behind you? Right.

I don't know. I feel like Australia, that's where the mean sharks are. Down in that area of the Pacific. South Africa. South Africa. Honestly, that's why I'm sharks are. Down in that area of the Pacific. South Africa. South Africa. Honestly, that's why I'm scared of going down there. We're going to go. You're not a seal, though.

We're going to go to South Africa. When? Next month. That's sick. Awesome. Yeah, July. I'm going in. You'll go a lot of places.

Where? July 4th? Yeah. Or whenever that time we have. Enjoy the fuck out of it. Where are you going in this? Better. I'm going to Cape Town. and then I'm going to, I guess,

maybe Joburg for a little bit, but it was really to just get to that national park that they have up there. Does that have time to go to Iran, though? Kruger, yeah. I'm going to Kruger. Kruger's awesome. Cape Town, the most beautiful city I've seen. You're doing your summer thing, huh?

Yeah. I saw your rap. It was good, but my rap would be it's brisk outside. Put on a sweatshirt. Watch some football on the couch. You only have a certain amount of football games left in your life. That's true.

There's a finite amount of football games we're going to watch the rest of your life. Fire me the fuck up. Get on your couch. Get that nice groove in your couch. Put on your big hooded sweatshirt. You can eat all day because your fat doesn't show through. Yes.

You watch football. Yes. Then the next day you watch some more football. Yes. Then someday you'll die and there'll be no more football. But until your dying day, you can still look forward to football season. You can look... You're just saying for summer. Yeah, but I'm trying to agree with you.

I thought we were doing a summer versus fall. No, I'm trying to back you up. I love football season too. I was ready for a fight. Yeah, I was trying to catch you. I feel like you could be old and if you're a sports fan, you could just be like, yeah, look at the guys they just drafted.

You're never going to see them play. If I die during football season, I'll be so pissed. I remember you even talking about, I think your uncle was sick. He was about to pass away. One of your last conversations, and he was like. We had Bears-Packers. Yeah, or like the Bulls, man, the fucking Bulls. It was like the Packers.

Bears week one, like seven to three, and our last texts were like, it was right after 2018. And we're like, fuck, that didn't go well. We got to turn this shit around. He died being like, maybe Mitch is still the guy. Which is awesome. He left with hope. Oh, fuck. Always have something to look for.

I wish he hadn't had to watch that last game, though, because it would have just been 2018 and been like, that was an awesome year. They're going to be great again. It died with the expectation. Next 10 years are ours. I bet you, because I feel like, not stereotyping here, but men have a harder time being like, you know, whatever.

I bet you a disproportionate amount of last conversations are about sports. Oh, I agree. That's the way of saying it, but I bet there's a disproportionate amount of last conversations are about sports. Oh, I agree. That's like the way of saying it, but I bet there's a ton of like- It's a love language. Right. It's a love language. 100%. A lot of Eagles talk has been final conversations.

PFT always says that therapists for men should just have like, you should just go to a field and just have a catch. Yeah. That's what you can open up. That's a conversation going on. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, sitting in a therapist's office isn't it i would never yeah if i died during football season like right like on like a like a wednesday right before a big slate oh we're like right before football season

chiefs and bills are playing on sunday summer's over and you don't get to feel football but i love football that much too i'll get juiced up for football season, but there's no football on right now. So I got to go outside and fucking ride a bike or some dumb shit. Fucking hop in the water or swim. That's how I feel about tailgating. I feel like how many more as I'm getting older and like having kids and stuff, like I got to go to two Eagles games this year, and each time I was like, you better go hard at the tailgate

because you don't know how many more like crazy tailgates cangates can I handle I don't know yeah but when you get to one you get old enough and then it's your life right when you get old enough you're gonna have a neighborhood where the parents all just get fucking buckled every night and the kids run around in the coldest set right it'll be out till two in the morning playing flashlight tag ideally ideally what age do the kids get where you can just get drunk every night like your parents did? They were doing, they call it driveway circles, when we were like babies. They've been doing that a long time. Yeah.

You guys didn't do the driveway circles? We didn't have driveways. No. My parents didn't have friends. One time they were doing a driveway circle, and I guess there was a snake. My brother was asleep in his room. He was like a baby. And there was a snake, like, going. I didn't know. They can go up siding and stuff. And instead of just like

hitting it with a rake, they'd all been drinking. The neighbor got a gun and they just fucking blasted it. They had some times. That feels like that feels like something else happened that they told you that. I think my dad was a snake. I feel like there was a dispute somewhere.

That's a different. Can I call my dad was a snake. I feel like that's a different... Can I call my dad? Something went very different. Let's see what actually happened. That's the old childhood dog, like, oh yeah, we found a farm upstate. Can I call him? Yeah, but that's not what happened. My dad wants me as a neighbor.

There's no way it was a snake. Tell him he's live. Hi, Dad, you're live on the act. There's no way it was a snake. Hold on. Tell them he's live. Hi, Dad. You're live on the act. Oh, you're listening to it. Can you turn it off? Oh, yeah.

Hell yes. Okay. It's real simple. You knock it down with a hoe, and then you shoot it with a.22 at point-blank range. I told you. Yeah. That was a snake. And by the way, we missed the first six shots. This feels like something else happened.

It wasn't a snake. It feels like a dispute gone wrong. No, it was a big snake coming up the driveway, protecting the kids. They were protecting the kids is what they said, but they were just... All right, confirmed. Shooting into the concrete.

Shooting was more dangerous than the snake. Those bullets all bounce off. Hit it with a.22. Driveway party, you get together with everybody's got babies, you listen to the baby monitors and you get drunk. It was a cheap party. And shoot snakes. Thanks, Dad. I love you.

I love you, too. Wow, he nailed it. That was like my child. Free reign. Great that your dad is exactly who Wow, he nailed it. That was like my child, yeah. Free reign. Oh. Circle parties. Great that your dad is exactly who I hoped he'd be.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It's a good time. A rule. What a legend. I know he was listening to me. Hit it with a rake and then you shoot it with the.22. Very simple.

He was like, it's Assateague, Maryland, you idiots. And I was like, oh, he's listening to the act right now. Oh, fuck. That's funny. .22 rifle or or 22 handgun? Almost certainly the rifle, right? It was probably a rifle, yeah. I don't know.

I always had a.22 around to shoot snakes, too. But this was like suburban Philadelphia. I have a Wayne came and shot one for me once. Really? Yeah. Guys, I got bad news. I have to run to an interview. This is, fuck.

It's all good. No, this has been a very fun yak. These are my favorite yaks We're just The ones without sass No just spitballing topics Sass was supposed to be here Today too

And it's such a blessing That he's not Yeah we're just When we're just We're in that groove And we're pinballing topics Yeah Seamlessly

Can you spin the wheel Before I leave Just so If I have to get wet I have to get wet Oh yeah And it's getting low Wheel's getting low on dry.

I apologize. I hope it lands on carbone. What does that mean? Just the four of us go? Yeah. That'd be awesome because that cake was delicious. Well, you almost wheeled it. All right, well, you guys keep yakking.

Don't let me. All right. I'm going to yak you. Do a little yakking. Remember the ads. Can I talk about High Noon as you leave? Yeah. Please do.

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Pretty sure about that. You can look for them right now in Drizzly or at your local liquor or convenience store. Or visit highnoonspirits.com to find some high noon near you. Have some with your neighbor. Shoot a snake. That's so awesome. A guy lost the Darwin Awards one year for trying to shoot a cockroach in his basement. Cockroach, or like the bullet bounced off his concrete basement.

Why would you shoot in a basement? Killed him. Why'd you shoot in a driveway? Yeah, that's a good, okay. Driveway's an outdoor basement. Are the Darwin Awards a yearly thing? I think so, yeah. Yeah.

I like how he just took it away right when I started talking. What do you mean? Nothing. Oh, yeah. Try to sneak it in real quick. If only that had happened the first time, you wouldn't be in this Perklewood show. You're back.

You're back. Yeah, you're so back. So fucking back. You're actually fully back. Yep. Which is super sweet. Y'all ever shot a snake? No, never shot a snake.

I haven't barely shot that many guns. It's the only animal I've ever shot, and I will i will never shoot another one i can't shoot animals i can't kill animals when i go fishing i put the fish back you just it's a cognitive dissonance when you genocide chickens every week no i don't do it somebody else does it i'll eat the shit out of them but i'm not gonna do it and for that reason i would be okay with another animal eating me after i died yeah i'd be completely fine with that throw me in a shark i do not care what happens to my body after i die i like just do toss me in the dump honestly i don't care throw me in the trash and it's like

how how much more dignifying is it to get like burned into ashes and like have your ashes like thrown at a fucking rod in Or rot in the ground. Yeah, that's not dignifying either. I do like the new thing where they're turning people into trees. Have you seen that? We're becoming trees now. Yeah, we're becoming trees. But then what if your family moves

and then the tree gets all gross? Yeah, I don't live anywhere long enough for a tree to grow. My tree would come up like three families down the road. Right. You could start that now by just chopping off some hair and fingernails and putting it in a tree bush or whatever. Leave your DNA families down the road. Right. You could start that now by just like chopping off some hair and fingernails and putting it in a tree bush or whatever. Leave your DNA all over the place. I already do, buddy.

I know. In that backyard. He's also jizzing in the backyard. Our DNA is everywhere. You guys like to come behind your sheds? I don't want to move somewhere where I can't come outside. Coming outside. Where I can't just jizz in my backyard.

Brandon doesn't hunt, but he has tree stands all over his property. He just goes up and... Just go up there and come. That's how you get away from your family to be able to... I can't shoot an animal, but I can shoot ropes. Kill anything while I shot at it. Coming on animals. If I was a snake, I'd rather get shot than came on

by a human blow me to fucking bits but don't come on me don't come on me a snake would be a hard animal to come on though because it's very quick

moves quickly it was probably hard to shoot it took me like 30 shots I was shooting from like you had an extendo clip

from 50 yards away It was swimming along Wait, why were you doing this? My Uncle Doug said Hey, I'm going to teach you how to shoot today And I said, okay And we went to Dirt Road there in Uno, Mississippi And there was a ditch

A creek that runs right by the road And we saw a snake We were going to shoot whatever was out there And we saw a snake We're just going to find something living and kill it today. And I just shot. I shot behind it. I shot over it.

And finally I hit it. And I didn't like the way it reacted. And I did not like it. I just. And I'm from a hunting place. From a hunting family. My grandfather was a game warden. But I'm from a hunting family.

And we would go hunting. I never told him I didn't like to kill animals. So we would always go bird hunting, dove hunting, or deer hunting. And every time they'd say, Brandon, take a shot, and I would think of an excuse. Oh, my gun jammed. Oh, something happened. Oh, I didn't see it in time. I would always, for years, I came up with excuses.

Did you ever miss on purpose? No, I didn't want to shoot. You wouldn't even let it fly. I wouldn't even shoot. What if you were so bad of a shot that you missed on purpose and killed him? Correct. I never, I would always, oh, I just missed him this time. Sorry. My bad.

And so for years behind your back, your uncle was like this fucking guy. He's a pussy. Finally, I said, listen, I don't want to do that. When you moved to New York, were they like made sense? You never could shoot shit Yankee? Oh, they talk shit about me. Oh, yeah.

Bad. My neighbor, who was in the strip club with the catfish last year, I don't know if I showed you all that. Oh, yeah. Love that guy. He would have to come. We had a snake in the yard one time, and I had to call him over, and he came over and shot the copperhead snake for me. That was nice. Damn.

Is there any other way to kill a snake? I got to shoot it right in the head. I mean, you can kill them with like a hoe or a rake. Oh, bash them? Bash your head in? It takes a while, yeah. What about, how did St. Patrick do it? I think he just led them away, didn't he?

It was a flute. Was that the Pied Piper? He was kind of like. Pied Piper was a flute. Yeah, but. Patrick was like. He did lead them out of Ireland, though, didn't he? I think it was a flute.

He was like Gandalf. I think he had a staff. Something. He had something. There were just never snakes in Ireland, right, didn't he? He was like Gandalf. I think he had a staff. Something. He had something. There were just never snakes in Ireland, right? Because of him. Because of him. The Protestants, the dirty.

Y'all think there's actually no rats in Alberta? They say that? They say that. Because of what, badgers or something? They say there's no rats in Alberta. Doesn't it kind of make you want to take one there? There's got to be there, right? There's rats everywhere.

I kind of get the itch to do it whenever I hear that. Take a rat to Alberta? Yeah. What if you have like a pet snake? Is there like dead, you can go to the- Yeah, how are they feeding there? How do they feed the reptiles and cold-blooded animals? How many pet snakes do you think there are in the province of Alberta?

More than, or I think there's probably more wild horses in the United States. Here we go. We're taking wax at mythology now. So St. Patrick's just got famous for nothing. He had to have done something. And it makes me want to bring a snake to Ireland. How would you get a snake to Ireland? That's a good question.

By boat? I guess I'd have to do it by boat. You'd have to check it. Check it in your bag. Katie, I wonder if you can even have one as a guest. Can you import an example? What if it's my therapy snake? What if it's like my support

snake? You can buy a ticket for it? I had to sit next to a fucking snake on the plane. This is my guest for dinner. You guys know. I have my landlord coming to it because they're getting ready to put our apartment back up for rent

since we're moving in July. We're not allowed to have... I have a cat and we're not ready to put our apartment back up for rent since we're moving in July. And we're not allowed to have – I have a cat, and we're not allowed to have one. And my cat cannot be all day Thursday. They're coming in to whatever, and I have to get rid of all signs that we have a cat. Do I just bring him in here? Can we do a cat yak on Thursday?

Can I bring my cat over there? Yeah, my family will watch it. Really? I mean, I don't? Yeah, my family will watch it. Really? I don't know if he'll freak out or anything. You've got to find somewhere to take my cat. Come in here. Who gives a fuck? People bring their dogs in all the time.

What if he's contained in here? Is anyone allergic to cats? That'd be fine. Just for a few hours in the afternoon on Thursday. Even if people are allergic, who gives a fuck? We've made people do terrible stuff all the time. That's true. We've made people put their heads in toilets.

And we like Nick. Stuff for an allergy. stuff all the time. We made people put their heads in toilets. And we like Nick. He's the favorite. I've been stressing. I don't know what to do. You're going to have to disassemble the tower that you built for her. I sent out an email. Kate's bringing her pussy.

That's true. Again. Again. Again. It's fucking Kate. I might bring them in. I might bring my cat in. I don't know if that's cruel. I don't know what to do with them. Cruel fucking Kate. I might bring him in. I might bring my cat in. I don't know if that's cruel.

I don't know what to do with him. Cruel to who? I don't know. The cat. Catter to the folks. Yes, it'd probably be exciting for him to have an outing. Also, just me throwing this out there, you've lived there for how long? Two years.

You're leaving? Yes. The fuck do you care if I know you got a cat? Because there's something in the lease contract that says it's 50 bucks a month for everyone. I guess you wouldn't be able to prove we've had it the whole time. I'd say it walked up yesterday. Yeah, we just got him. That's true.

I've been paying a $50 a month for my dog to live in my house and it hasn't lived there the whole time. I don't think he's going to give me the money back. I just get nervous because I feel like I know we're going to get screwed on the, you know, anytime you leave an apartment, they're like, oh, look at this scratch on the wall and all this stuff. I just feel like my son's been running around with a marker lately. It's been tough. Have you found your place out there yet? Yeah, I got a good one. Good.

It's up in Winneka. Oh, Winneka. So nice up there. No rats. Winneka? Hmm? Do you like Winneka? No idea.

I'm basically in Wisconsin. But you're going to pass through all the northern suburbs. You're going to be passing through like fucking Glendale, Riverside. There's a lot of lakes up there, man. Oh, my God. You've got to get a better boat. I'm getting a boat. You have the one you have.

I'm getting that boat. But you're going to get a nice one. My lake is all electric motors. You can't have anything better'm getting that boat. But you're going to get a nice one. My lake is all electric motors. You can't have anything better than an electric motor. So to go on the big lakes, I'm hoping to get another boat and park it on one of those lakes. Kate really wants you to get a pontoon. More than anything in the world. I'd get a pontoon.

Hell yeah. You got something on that? I would like a pontoon. I'll pay for the sliding board. Picturing two decks. God damn, what? Two deck pontoon? Yes. Does that even exist? I don't think there's two a pontoon, but I'll pay for the sliding board. Picturing two decks. God damn, what? Two deck pontoon? Yes.

Does that even exist? I don't think there's two deck pontoon. Actually, I think there's video of one of them crashing in the Ozarks, or like it drowned in the Ozarks because there was too many dudes, too many drunk dudes. Jay, can I have a two deck pontoon pulled up, please? Large Marge of the Party Barge down in Austin. Well, I don't think I can afford Large margins of party barge. Not to keep on

plugging Delaware, but there was this incredible bar we went to that had a pull-up slips for pontoons. It's the outdoor bar. It was this fucking exotic paradise. Delaware is huge on pontooning. Ron, you bought a rental property in Delaware and are trying to pimp it out, correct? No, I want to. I've looked at

properties in Rehoboth, but dude, you have so many fucking... Yeah, look at this. That's automatic shade. I don't think I would get on that. Are you kidding? Look, there's a sliding board. How much is this? Let's get a...

Can we just real quick? You get a pontoon with a sliding board. Why are you calling that a sliding board and not a slide? Oh, I've always called them sliding boards. It's a slide. It's a slide. It's a slide. It's a slide.

But your kids are occupied. You're talking about a diving board with's a slide. But your kids are occupied. You're talking about a diving board with a... Yeah. Look, 30-foot luxury. That thing was $25 million. Storage under the seat. My house is only 30.

This is $25,000, boss. Yeah, $25 million. This is also a Chinese proxy website. I thought she was on a yacht. This is a fake yacht, I think. I thought she was on a yacht. So this is a fake yacht, I think. I thought she was on a yacht. Buying it from a Chinese website. Look at those cool little twirly stairs.

The wrestler told me, the current champion wrestler told me, that when you take the fall on the rope, you lean forward so as to take the brunt of it on your ass. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, you make sure you of it on your ass. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, you make sure you take it on your ass. Lean back, right? Forward is where your balls are. Right, yeah.

Lean back so that you take it on your ass. Huh. Hey, those guys probably have meaty asses, though. Oh, they all got meaty asses. They don't wear any protectors. They don't wear cups? You'd think they would. I think they wear cups.

No, because you can see their dick most of the time. Huh. You would tell if they wore cups. Paradise, because you can see their dick most of the time. Huh. Not a lot of, you would tell if they wore cups. Paradise Grill is where I'm thinking of in Delaware. Oh, I bet that's wonderful. It's incredible. Sounds great. It sounds like a Jimmy Buffett wet dream.

There's multiple lines. Also just sounds like a very generic-ass restaurant name. But there's, yeah, yeah, it does. It does, but it's sprawling. It's probably like fucking 40,000 square feet of fucking

adult fun what's the drink they do down there the orange crush orange crush so good and it should exist everywhere

cause it's just like orange juice Sprite which one's the gay beach Arca Rehoboth Rehoboth that's not as gay

as you think I went there thinking that it was going to be... I thought I'd look down and I'd be getting sucked. But you go out to Rehoboth and it's silently not that gay. Just really nice, really well manicured lawns is what it is. Yeah, but it's not like... I don't know.

I haven't been to Fire Island either, but I imagine that's got to be gay. Have you been to Fire Island? I have not yet. But I've been up to... what's the one in the Cape? Providence? Provincetown? Provincetown. I've been there.

It's amazing. Yeah. It's great. So there's parts of Fire Island that are... Straight. Yeah. And parts that are gay. Yeah.

And you've been to both. I've been to both. No, no. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. I've been to Kismet. Kismet. He's been to Kismet. Kismet. He's been to Kismet. He's definitely just made that place up.

Kismet? Nah, it's fire on. Kismet sounds like... Bro, I've done the New York City party tour. Why are you hollering at me? Nah, you're the one that hollered at me. Why are you hollering at me? I mean, you're questioning what I'm saying.

Zaha told me on Pick Central that he once had a girlfriend that was 6'2". I saw his requirements for a lady, and I was loving it. Yeah, I liked it too. He was like, I just need a good old-fashioned Catholic ting. What did he say? Oh, Catholic vibes. Like old-school Catholic vibes. Traditional Catholic vibes, but V-Y-B-Z.

She's got to have a lot of internalized shame. I was an ultra-server as a Catholic. There you go. He took off the other nine. No, because you wanted someone to wait until marriage. I have not done that. Still nothing.

What were the other ones? Pull it up. It was four feet makes Still nothing. What were the other ones? Pull it up. Pull it up. It was four feet. Makes $25,000 to $30,000 a year. Why the salary so low? You got to go for it. You need a sugar mama. No, he's trying to be the provider.

There it is. There it is. Be the provider. Small age range. Just not blue eyes is what you're saying. Kind of freaked me out. Another thing. Because it's like an Australian husky.

Blue eyes. Arsenal and all black people? Yeah, all blacks. Saving themselves for me. Hates NYC. Imagine you scooping a four-foot, 45-year-old who's making $30,000. A 4-foot 45-year-old virgin who's making $35,000. So that's actually the common question I get.

I actually have never met a female with dwarfism, a lady with dwarfism. So a lot of people assume they're like, oh, you've dated, you're friends with everyone. But no. What if you met her and everything's going good and you found out she made $45,000? You know what the thing is? Dwarves hate each other. Oh, okay. That's the one that's going to kill me.

That four-foot thing is going to kill me out of those. So dwarves don't like dwarves. They don't like each other. Why? I don't know. I don't know what it is. You met some. I really don't.

Yeah. I mean, I'm a shithead, but I actually don't know what it is. You're lovable. I have no idea what it is. You met someone. I really don't. Yeah. I mean, I'm a shithead, but I actually don't know what it is. That's why you're lovable. I have no idea what it is, but yeah, it was 82. They all get drunk and emotionally just put things out there? Yep. We're all the same. That's so sick.

I think you're going to find love, but you might have to compromise on one of them. You might wind up with a rich bitch. Nah. Nah, dude, I'm sorry, bro. You might wind up with a fucking paid. Nah. Nah, dude, I'm sorry, bro. You might wind up with a fucking paid ass. I need to be the provider. No, if you do have to compromise one of your

things there, that would be the one. Yeah, take a millionaire. Yeah. I'm sorry, you just make too much. Nah, height. Height will be the one I compromise. Up or down? I guess you can't go down very far. Yeah, that's the problem. The provider. That song is sick.

Is that an actual song? He's talking, but he hasn't turned his mic on. Yeah, it is. Pato Rankin. Pato Rankin. Pato Rankin. I think it is Pato Rankin. Dude, you know what's been killing me?

I have no playlists. I've been searching high and low for a good playlist for South Africa. And I don't know if it's like I need some Afro beats or like the traditional South African music that just sounds like 80s pop, like Phil Collins, like Genesis shit. I need some South African music or something that feels like Africa. So from that range what they have popping off right now in the streets it's called i'm a piano i'm a piano and

it's uh i don't know what instrument it is but it's kind of a dancey dancey techo technique techno kind of kind of kind of with an african flavor kind of vibes they listen to so they don't their afro beats is very different. Really? In South Africa? Yeah. So a traditional Afro beat playlist I would find is more, it's different countries.

So that's West Africa. So the traditional, the ones that's gone popular and mainstream is more from the West African range. I mean, we all listen to that,

but that's from South Africa's own. If you're looking for South Africa's own thing, it's the Amapiano thing that's quite hot in the streets. Kwaito is also pretty hot in the streets.

TJ, can you pull up the yak picture of Che on the beach? Because I didn't know this version of Che existed. I need to see this. I did not know this version of Che existed. I did not know you... What did you do? You were bald? Is that you peeing your pants? Look at your legs. Yeah, my legs are tiny.

It was the oversized era. Why are your legs are tiny. It was the oversized era. Why are your legs so small? It was the oversized era. It was probably 1990, or no, this was probably 2003 maybe. Jay, you weren't running a 4.4 on those legs. That was like five years earlier. No, I think those are size XL swim trunks. I'm a size larger now.

Yeah, but your torso looks the same as it does now. I wish. I'm jacked there. No, you look that jacked now. Got those clamber legs. But you make Nick look like Maurice Jones Drew. Maybe I had rickets in high school. What beach was that that you're peeing your pants on uh

looks tropical i don't know it looks like california like a cruise or something like that so maybe something caribbean hell yeah you don't hold on you don't know yeah bj i don't know that could that could have been any year from like 2002 to 2005 how many beaches did you go to in that that time frame? More than one or two. You have a really good head of hair. Right. It was just everybody was shaving their heads.

Ball is life. What? What NBA player were you like? Richard Jefferson. A little early for him. Vince Carter. Ashburn. I can't stop looking at the legs.

Jason Kidd, yeah'm looking at the legs. Jason Kidd, yeah. Look at the legs. I can't tell if that's the top or the bottom of the, if it's the upper half or the lower half or if that's the exact

kneecap. I think it's right below the kneecap. Ew. They're tiny. I had to work out my legs. I had to bench press

my room so I benched almost every day. Oh, man. What the hell Che I don't know why that makes me laugh so much Your traps look fucking great Everything above the shorts Is Jacked

I wish you should have just cropped it Yeah I saw this picture I I wish you could have just cropped it. You should have just cropped it. Yeah. There you go. Perfect. I saw this picture, I think, for the first time in a couple decades, like this past Christmas. Take my strong hand. Oh, my God.

Sandra Bullock in a movie or something. It's like a woman in a skirt. It does look like a woman in a dress. It looks like Glenn Close. If you only saw this, you would never expect what the scroll up is. It looks like three different bodies put together. Oh my god, Jay. It's not that they're skinny. They also kind of look deformed.

The left leg, I will say, it looks like I'm walking on an angle. The right leg though is pretty much head on. And you were pissing yourself on the beach at that time? I don't think I was actually pissing. I think it was just an old beach photo of me. Who took that picture? Looks like you're a little bit in pain. Like you have indigestion

and you're trying to get a fart out. Looks like a candid from far away. I don't know. That was probably a vacation with my family. Surely. You were in high school? Looks like about. Shout out Sand Diaper Gang.

Oh, so see, he did sand diapers too then. There you go. No, I think that's just somebody that heard you say that. No, I'm telling you other people do this. Some people don't even go up to the dunes. If you're drinking in a beach circle, you sit right next to your chair, and you cover yourself in sand, and you pee right there.

I swear to God people do this. I never got to experience the beach as a social event or as an event with other people. I've gone to the beach myself. I've gone to the beach with my family, and we sit in these tight circles. I've never gone. I see these people.'s 12 of them there's and they're all they got the chairs in a circle and they're all enjoying each other i'd never had that in my life that's we do because i broke a record my dad's one of 13 and then they each had 10 gigs we have

like 200 people at the end of june every year we make two big long rows there's 200 people in your family yeah there's a lot and then there's two big long rows. There's 200 people in your family? Yeah, there's a lot. And then there's two big long rows. And then you set up in the morning, like crack of dawn, because you want a good spot in line. You don't want to be next to somebody with annoying kids or somebody who's whatever. So you find your primo spot in line, and your chairs and your setup are there all day. Until the Sunday. Rotating in and out. And they deliver pizzas and cheesesteaks on the beach down there.

Totally. And then you're there from like sun up to sun down families families who have like a shore house or like a couple shore houses love to do that beach circle and i hadn't been a part of it either and i would go to other people's beach circle and i would get restless at first because i'm like we're just gonna sit what are we gonna do we're gonna just sit all day yeah i had a friend all day from the midwest come and she was like, after an hour, she's like, well, now what do we do? And I was like, no, no. This is what we do, and we've got six more days of it, honey.

This is what this is. Enjoy your international travel and your cultural experiences. We're getting right into that, though. It's starting to get time to go down there and do it. Yeah. To do what? To go to the beach and have your beach circle are you gonna do it i know i don't see how i'm gonna have time to go to the beach this summer so i'm a little i'll have to go like a lake michigan beach i mean those are

good beaches i'm sure they are i just i don't know that i'll have an ocean trip this summer a beach you know a real beach trip we'll see but once once hop over to highland park bro there's good beaches over there a couple. In a couple weeks, it's going to be go time. Oh, yeah. It's going to suck. I'm doing Sea Isle one more time. Last full week in June. Where at? Sea Isle near the Acme.

Nice. Is that 64th? Yes. Near Uncle Oogie's. I stayed at Sea Isle two years ago. I stayed down on 86th. It was above a restaurant. You asked what to do, and I don't think I could even tell you anything. She told me. What did you do? She gave me a list.

You went to the Promenade? There were a couple of restaurants. There was a grocery store slash restaurant that had good hoagies. You don't remember this? Because you don't need to do anything. You sit in your circle. So since I've been here, I did Sea Isle the first year. I first year i did cape may the second year last year i did point pleasant for a week and bradley beach for a week those are before bradley beach a couple of towns in from what was

the one where tommy dipped out and he the cops found him like i was at bradley beach starting a new life i mean tommy went down to the uh to the mini golf place and was hustling, I'll put your clubs up for a dollar. And he was making money on his own. That's a legend, dude. You could really cut him loose in the city, and he would come back with fucking more than you left him with. I got to get his YouTube channel up and running or his Twitch thing going.

Seriously, you should before he – or it should be just like ready to go when he's there so he can just launch in when he's out in Chicago. How old is he? Twelve. He's got to be 13. He'll be 13 in a month. Happy birthday.

July 13th. Nice. He's supposed to be 13? Yeah. I think if you're not, you have to have like the parent on camera or like. Well, I'll be on camera anyway. Because God, I'm not going to go far from a camera. You have to be the one appearing to be running the camera.

You think Brandon Walker's trying to run away from a camera? The world needs to see this face. I think how I look. He needs to be on camera all day, and you guys clip whatever you want. Whatever you want. You've got to make him the new baby Gronk that goes after KB and Nick. I could do that. Yeah.

You could baby Gronk him. A parody baby Gronk. What's the worst player I could maybe? Baby Cooper Cup? He's a good player. Baby. You need someone who actually sucks. He's a terrible player.

Ben Simmons, you said? Maybe Braxton Berrios. But Braxton Berrios, like, wasn't he dating, like, Olivia Colpo or some shit? Now he's dating Alex Earl. Yeah, like, come on, bro. Fuck you. Maybe Stetson Bennett. Yeah.

That's a good one even though he probably made fucking seven million dollars at georgia yeah yeah maybe someone big enough to get named after it's not even that insulting oh jay's good how about somebody here like what if i made him like a baby roan he's ran around being you. Not battling. That would probably be a shitty life for them. Tommy's so small, though. You know, his 10-year-old and 7-year-old brothers are just as big as he is. Really?

10-year-old's bigger than he is. Really? 7-year-old's going to be Dirk Nowitzki. He's got huge hands. Do you have some of them in the program? What program? Ballin'. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Tommy's the only one that doesn't. He's not meant for you. He's more a man of the sword. Yeah. The girl plays softball, and the other two boys play ball, too. Yeah. All kinds of ball. Soccer, basketball?

Baseball, basketball. Not soccer. Not soccer. What are you? They're going to run around. What do you think I am? They can face the lantern flies. Raising a bunch of Nancys? Seriously. soccer what was it run around they can face the lantern flies there's no bouts of nancy's seriously not like baseball players are men fucking men put bubble gum on your hat while

you're not looking frank you i go to the park i take my son to has a bunch of little league baseball fields right there and before every game they're wearing like expensive ass they're like seven years old wearing expensive ass uniforms. ACDC is blaring over the speakers ahead of time. They all get announced. There's big name sponsors. And I'm like, there's seven. What the fuck is this?

But I guess that's what I'm heading towards probably. I don't know. It is a weird. It seems a little intense. Parents ruin Little League. I mean, that's just a fact. But the girl that saw Paul and we went to a game the other day where the other team had a big speaker set up

and was playing their walkouts and everything. Like, relax. I keep looking over there. I'm like, relax a little bit. What the fuck? But if the boys, if they think it's cool and they're – Travel ball is a culture that is – it's disgusting. It's terrible. I mean, AAU. Yeah. I mean, it's disgusting. It's terrible.

I mean, AAU. It's been around a while. Hurting basketball a little bit. Yeah, I would like that too. Can you just bring the box over here? There's some issues in here that Gabby also brought us. Gabby brought those too? Shout out, Gabby.

Gabby's just looking out for us. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. I'll hold that for a second. It's Italian shit. Are these tiny pies? Today's also National Donut Day, I think. Is it?

Thank you. Free donuts at Krispy Kreme. Look at this. I noticed that there's nothing rainbow in there, though. Shame on Gabby. It is Pride Month, so that's a little bit weird by gabby to leave out the rainbow donuts point against her there um did you guys have any more interactions with the interns because brandon i watched your video yesterday of you going to kind of wrestle up those interns people

were giving you a hard time because when you shook that boy's hand you didn't make any eye contact with him which to some people is a red flag why was i supposed to make eye contact with him um well it's i think maybe they're saying that he alpha'd you or something or you're not a good man or some shit like that look look shakes hand doesn't look at him doesn't look at him looks at hand i welcomed him he was following me no look how your shoulders are hunched you're afraid of that boy of gino look look at you look at your shoulders are hunched. You're afraid of that boy. Of Gino? Look at you.

Look at your body language. Look, he goes to stand up, and you shrink like a flower. I don't think that's what happened at all. I think I was leading him to the yak, and I was putting him in my rank and file. I was turning my back to him so he would fall in line. And then Tweedledee and Tweedledum on the freaking bar stools. Yeah, well, I don't think, yeah. I don't know about that one.

I don't know. There's Rebecca. Rebecca. Yeah. It's the boys. They'll be back Tuesday. I gotta talk to them. I don't think they liked being called out. I just thought we were good. I don't think they liked being called out.

We were good to have them today if you wanted to because they're not doing much. Yeah, bring them in. I'd like the interns in general if you want. Bring them in. How many interns we got? Like 20? Yeah, but how many do you just want me to go grab a few? Whatever you want. I don't know. This is like a graham cracker

crust on this tiny pie. I know people love when I eat in the mic. This is God. This is like a graham cracker crust on this tiny pie. I know people love when I eat in the mic. This is beautiful. What is that, velvet? Oh, that's so good. Some freaking red velvet cake over there. That shit looks delicious. Are we still doing the intern videos?

That's always a fun time. That's the best thing I've ever tasted. Really? Yeah, I wanted it so bad. No, but there's no... Kate, I don't want it. I don't... It was too tall for me.

It looks wet, which is a good thing. It's all wet. Yeah, Kate, have the red thing. Have it. I don't want it. I don't want it.

I truly don't want it. I've had too many pastries today with my fat ass. It's about to be the freaking summertime. I'm out here giving speeches. I'm going to be fucking jiggling through all of them.

Oh, my God. This thing is soaked. Is it? This thing is soaked. Are you talking about like a rum raisin cake? Some kind of. It's like a drenched tiramisu kind of vibe. Oh, wow.

The Italians, some of the desserts that they cook up are fantastic. But I'll be honest. Some Italian cookies I don't love i think i know exactly what kind you're talking about too some of them are a little bit dry some of them the ones with the sprinkles on it that are shaped like a shell sometimes they're just wanting a little bit more like i just want a little bit when i respect italian people but baking isn't the thing that italians do best they can do pasta incredibly there's do they do wine incredibly baking isn't the thing that Italians do best. They can do pasta incredibly. They do wine incredibly.

Baking isn't their number one thing. And I know there's Italian bakeries and cannoli is an elite dessert. I would argue that's the best thing that they bake. But baking is not Italians best foot that they can put forward. This is the group that every single one of these tastes the same. And every one of them you hop to another one and you just want a little bit more you just want a little bit more but that keeps you going to another one but i don't even know the first one that i'm grabbing like off of the off of that like maybe the pink one but still the crumble of it isn't

exactly right the all white one normally you have to break away the boring parts and only eat the chocolate part or whatever. I feel like that certain areas of the Northeast have just come to accept these cookies and they're just so beaten down by them. Yes, because it's tradition. It's tradition, but they're not good. It's just like an Italian grandmom knows what to do.

She's like, oh, I want to bake for the folks. Hey, if you want to bake, why don't you bake a lasagna, okay? Bake some manicotti or something like that. Bake a stuffed shell. Brandon is flummoxed right now. He's pacing through the hallways, doesn't necessarily know exactly where to go, but hopefully we'll find some interns to bring in here. Want to do the last ad? Yeah, we should do the last ad.

It's an ad for Barstool merch. I'll be honest, I don't have it on here. I'll get it. I thought it was on Big Cat's desk. I was going to have him do it, but he bounced. I could just talk. I mean, I'm wearing Barstool merch right now. I have boy dad hat, boy dad applique sweatshirt.

The fabric is incredible. This pops off the page. And you should be going to store.barstoolsports.com to get all of this right now. And I'm talking about the July 4th stuff because you want to order that in June so you're ready to look the best. Whether you're sitting in a circle or if you're shooting snakes, you want to be looking the best down the shore. And that's why you need some Barstool Sports stuff. Or, if you want to be going to,

if you want to get some Father's Day stuff, the Boy Dad stuff is perfect for Father's Day if you're a boy dad. And also Will Compton's dirty ass fucking stole our merch design and is now doing Girl Dad stuff, so that's cool for him that he can do that um but father's day should do that you could also get the frank the tank shirt just

absolutely timeless there there he is right behind me right now so it's a painting and a shirt that we've officially licensed out all of that is available at store.barstoolsports.com go there today store barstoolsports.com slash collection slash Barstool-Dads. I mean, check that shit out. Just copy and paste it from the freaking screen right now, you know. Ooh. Take it for yourself. Store it at BarstoolSports.com.

Buy something. Enjoy something. What's up, guys? Good to see you guys. All right. What we have here today is sitting next to Roan is Reed. He is from worcester massachusetts and hop talk right into that mic oxbridge mass okay there you go you told you

told me worcester seconds ago uh just to make conversation shorter but you could have just said you could have just said the first that town was you're right. But I know Worcester. I don't know Oxbridge. But if he had said Oxbridge, we would have been able to. How are you doing with those headphones right now? Pretty good. You sure? They are.

I see what you mean. Oh, yeah. Anybody could do that. You're doing great, though. First day, you know what I mean? I fucked up my headphone for the first three years that I worked here. So you're on a better path than I am this is exciting for the yak right here beside me in big cash chair for the first time in the act we have somebody named kate i know i was a

little worried about that honestly kate is from tyler texas tyler texas yeah what are you interning for um i'm general production. What's that? Just, yeah, video editing, kind of any producing type of stuff. Yeah. Just now getting into it, so just now finding out. He's the same, though. Also general production. Was it hard to get an internship at Barstool?

Yeah. What was it like? What was the process like for each of you? Several interviews with Jake Bass and David Blattman. What's interviewing with Blattman like? What's he like? It was pretty thorough. I thought it was pretty detailed.

Did you take note of how big his ass was? I did not. I could not see it on the Zoom. Have you seen him in person? I have seen him in person. Did you generate a lot of power from that thing? Just take a look. It was a lot. Yeah, it was beautiful.

What do you think was your best interview moment of all the interviews you had? Was there, like, something you stuck out and you're like, oh, yeah, I nailed that question? Do you want to take this one first? Yeah. Wow. I mean, I was trying to think, because I applied to this, like, for two years straight, you know, didn't get the first one. And then I ended up, like, flying, moved to the island of Guam to do an internship there. And then I kept doing it.

I was the University of Arkansas viceroy. So I got my first interview. It was good. Time. I can't think of the time out. Let's reverse back to Guam. No, no. I'm a Jell-O over here.

I don't need to go to Guam. It's like Arkansas. I'd like to stop at Arkansas. Oh, you would, of course. You were the viceroy for Arkansas? Yeah, Barstool UA. Well, I'm not Twitter. I'm just Instagram and TikTok.

That's how I was like. Because I've run into some problems with the Arkansas viceroy on Twitter. That was not me. That wasn't you. Mm-mm. Okay. What were the problems, Brandon? Well, they get sassy about football and their fat-ass coach, Sam Pittman.

They get sassy about it and they won't talk shit. Sounds like you're getting sassy. Right. Well, I'm college football. I'm Mr. Sass. Big sass. Yes're getting sassy. Right. I'm college football. I'm Mr. Sass. Big sass. Yes, big sass. Damn.

So there's no moment that really stuck out for either one of you where you're like, this is how I got this internship? I would say I got my foot in the door when I got a position doing Frank the Tank's podcast, producing that. How long have you been doing that? Yeah, yeah. About a year ago. That's when I first started. So you've been doing Allow Me to be frank for a year? Just ended that.

Now that I'm onboarded here, I had to give it up to a new person. I've been doing that for over a year now. What was the most... Do y'all notice that Jinx is on that show now? Is he? Jinx is just on that show. Recurring guest. I think that's how our producer, Nick,

who does ZBT now, that's how he got his foot in the door was with Crank the Tank 2, I think that's how our producer Nick who does ZBT now he got his foot in the door was with Frank the Tank too I think he gave it to him what a good guy farm system that's not how he fucking got his foot in the door Frank is just a good human

that's not how Nick got his foot in the door he was on wrestling he was doing wrestling he was doing so good uh we got him hired here and as soon as we got him hired they took him off wrestling and said wrestling has too many producers you're wrong brandon i know he did from top rope before but his wrestling work is what led directly to him getting hired oh he was doing that while he got hired i think was he doing cbt while he got hired. Was he doing CBT when he got hired or no? No, he was just doing a lot of your franking.

Yeah, it was just allowing me to be frank. It wasn't Guam, huh? Yeah, Guam. Am I lying that Magellan went there? It was like one of Magellan's big spots. I thought Magellan went everywhere. But it was like one of his major spots, Guam. Is he circumnavigating the globe?

You don't know? I'm not a big history person. I have no clue. Really? He was a major explorer. And I think then they maybe threw a spear. What was his big thing? He went around the whole thing?

I think maybe. Okay. Circumnavigated? Yeah. I think he must have. You've got to watch the Wishbone episode on it. Freshen up a little bit. But what did you do in Guam?

Yeah, I got an internship um at a news station there because i was like a broadcast journalism major so that's what i did last year so i feel like i guess that's how i kind of got this internship was i worked for a couple news stations and yeah razorback sports network like the live um the espn's broadcasting station i was a cameraman oh nice studio operator so so that was fun. I like all the producing stuff. It was right before he died or something like that? March 6th, 1521. 1521 doesn't seem like it was a real year.

No, it doesn't. I know. But it was after Columbus, though. Average, how long would your life have been in 1521? How long do you think you would have lasted in 1521? What city am I born in? Madrid. I think I born in? Madrid. I think I could live to 70.

Roan's crafty and mischievous. I think I'm not getting out of my 20s. Really? No, you know. Because you'd be conscripted. They'd be like, okay, you're this tall. You better go fight or something like that. I think I'd be killed quickly. But you would have still been lean.

I'd have been thrown on one of the boats, I think. You think? I've been with Magellan, but but I've been gone overboard quick. I thought boat guys are short. I thought people on boats are short. Are boat guys short? Because you have to sleep in a bunk bed. What about, do you need somebody tall to see the ice?

Yeah, or no, they could just climb up the top. Bird's nest. You guys know if people on boats are short? Yeah, are people on boats short? I've never heard that, but I'd be curious to know. What's your guys' New York fashion going to be? This summer I have no idea Because I'm kind of concerned

I'm like it's going to get hotter and hotter as it goes on So I don't know I'm like what do y'all suggest we wear to work You can wear pajama shorts here if you wanted And nobody will bat an eye Sweet Like you can be real Y'all want to see the picture of Stephen Chay's tiny legs?

Oh yeah I was hoping so video, Pat and I. Sweet. Like, you can be real. Y'all want to see the picture of Stephen Shea's tiny legs? Oh, yeah. Okay. I was hoping so. This is a classic picture. Look at his legs. Look how little they are. Look how little his legs are. No, it's not. That's real. Look at his legs. Is it just the angle?

We don't know. How does his legs get that skinny? I think maybe the left leg. Like a shutter sweep thing? The left leg, you could blame on the angle. The right is pretty about face. That's unfortunate. What's your guys' knowledge of bar stool? Do you guys know a lot about bar stool? You don't really?

I know a good amount. Yeah? I've been working with them for two years. Favorite, like, talent? I guess right now, I mean, Bree and Grace. Seems to be a common refrain. Yes. Legendary.

How about you? I've been listening to a lot of different shows for a while now. In terms of favorite, that's a good question. I'd say I started listening to PMT way back when, so I'd say the original. Also, your stuff, Son of a Boy Dad, so I had to see the original. Also, your stuff. Son of a Boy Dad, Anus. Thank you, brother.

Appreciate you. I wasn't fishing for a compliment. I just wanted to know kind of what your sensibilities are as far as the types of content that you're going to be looking to do. Yeah, everybody loves Rome. Everybody loves Rome. You wanted them to say that they watch wrestling? No. Do you guys like wrestling

do you guys like so there you go he likes wrestling I also produce double play with you and Chris Clemmer oh you did I do

I do remotely I make the oh remotely okay but we've never met oh we haven't okay yeah but he works for you

and you don't know you don't even know okay I didn't know that oh my god good to meet you too I did not no wonder there? Okay, I didn't know that. Good to meet you, too. No wonder. There's no reason I would have known that, correct? No wonder. Thank you.

Thank you. You do a great job. I hate that show and I wish I wasn't on it. But you do a great job. Thank you. I appreciate it. Why do you do it? Why do you do that show? I was just... I don't know. I would do it. You just wanted something else to work on? I can't say no. And you understand this, right? I was just, I don't know. Thought I would do it. You just wanted something else to work on? I can't say no.

And you understand this, right? I can't say no. I feel like you can. No, I can't. I don't know how to do it. Yeah, no, you can. Ask me to do something right now. Here, shove one of these whole entire things in your mouth.

Give it to me. You just said no yesterday. Who? Oh, but I can't be in the sun. Yeah, you can't say no. I can't be in the sun. Yeah, you can't say no. I can't be in the sun. Also, I didn't say no. I just never answered that.

Bottom left corner, this one right here. Whole thing, all at once. Has it been scary so far to be at Barstool? Who would yell at you guys if somebody was going to yell at you? I don't know yet. Hopefully I don't find out, but... I feel like it'd be you. I don't know. You think I would yell at you? Just in't know yet. Hopefully I don't find out. I feel like it'd be you. You think I would yell at you?

Just in general? I don't yell at people. I treat people very respectfully around here. I'm one of the more beloved people here. You're trying to rewrite your history to these two new folks that you've never met before saying you don't say no and you don't yell at people. I'm going to stuff this in my mouth and there's a second one. Will you do it with me, Reed?

I feel like I can't say no. See? Brendan will yell at you if you say no. It's the bottom left. Ah, jeez. A little square. We just had Chick-fil-A, so it might go everywhere. What am I getting?

The bottom left. That's right here? Yep. Ah, jeez. I feel like we do need more yellers, though. We need more people to just come in and be like, you shut the fuck up, you're fucking up, you're stupid and shit like that. Yeah, we need more meanness. Yeah, some bullies. Yeah.

Not even bullying, but just like a power structure of like a bad boss that you just like do not want to be around or something like that. There you go. Good bite. Oh, that little thing in there. That looked delicious. Little thing in there. I knew the powdered sugar would get caught in his lungs.

Powdered sugar got you? Yeah. Off into the mic, Brandon. It's a calculated choice by me. Oh, my God. Powdered sugar will do that, and so will French onion soup. Really? I'm ruining your seat.

I'm sorry. Please don't be. These seats have been ruined a long time. It's KBC, your seat. I'm sorry. Please don't be. These seats have been ruined a long time. It's KB's seat, so you're good to go. But lick those fingers, brother. You want to make a mess. There's Brandon.

Oh, Brandon, stop. Oh, you're wiping it on the seat? Stop wiping it on the seat. Oh, my God. I thought you said it was fine. That's, no, what? That's gross. That was pretty no, what? That's gross. That was pretty good.

Wasn't bad. Yeah. Well. All right. What else? You guys have rivalries in the intern class yet? Not yet. Not really.

I wouldn't say so. No. Oh, it's going to get clicky. Yeah. It's only day three. You're going to hate each other soon. Not not you two specifically but there will be rivalries i think last summer only like two or three interns got hired do you guys have like an eye on other interns who could be like good everyone's been good so far i don't know i think i like to think we're not that bad but yeah there's not an alpha

dog yet not yet we got gino in here yesterday he kind of killed it yeah yeah no it's pretty good i say he knows good right now i'll give him some credit yeah so he's got to have a target on his back how can we take down i think a ways to sabotage him and get him hit with a couple hr violations or something when's the first when's the first mixer when's the first inter mixer we need to do something. Maybe this weekend. I don't know. Some intern bonding?

Have you guys ever spent much time in New York City? No, I just moved here like three days ago, and I'd only ever been here once before. I'm from East Texas. So it's a slight change of pace. Yeah, a little bit. Why don't we move? I need to shoot something with him before you. Oh, you're going to actually shoot something with him?

I just need to shoot a dad. Do what you got to do. Do what you got to do. Anyone else want one before I put this down? No. Just put it down. I've already eaten a ton of them. What's Frank like?

Has he ever yelled at you? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Nothing I did. Just yelled in my general direction. About the Mets? I probably said hi or something.

You probably what? Said hi. Oh, said hi. I thought you said showed up hi. General greeting. Frank does not endorse drugs at all. He does kava and edibles, right? He did edibles for the dozen.

Yeah. Who knows if that turned out well for him. I think he's an edibles guy. You think he's just that guy now? Yeah. I think that's who he is. I think Frank on drugs is a tremendous opportunity for Frank. I think so, too.

Why are your headphones fucked up? I've probably been fucked up the whole... They're so wacky that they just don't bend anymore. Whoever wore them last, their head was probably too big. What do you think? Big Ev? Rico. Oh, yeah, Rico.

What's he doing? What's Joan doing? Oh, wow. Break dancing? I don't know. That was impressive. Can you break dance? No, I cannot.

Can you any dance? Not a dancer at all. I cannot dance. Can you sing? I can't do that. I am very monotone. Can you draw? I can draw.

You can draw? I'm physically capable of drawing. Can you draw? I can draw. You can draw? I'm physically capable of drawing. What's your talent? Give me your number one talent. I'm trying to figure that out right now. I'm not really sure. You don't know. I don't really have any talents.

All right. Dave Portnoy walks in right now. Yes. He says, the two of you, why should you work here? Why should you work here? I'd say I'm accountable. I do my job well and on time and to the best of my ability. We got a million of those.

Okay, then that might be about it. I would say I have a ton of broadcasting experience. I was a broadcast journalism major, so I know all about the ins and outs of reporting, videoing, editing. Worked at the Razorback Sports Network, being a cameraman for live games. You're trying to be a Big J journalist? Huh?

You're trying to be a Big J journalist? No, I'm not as much into the journalism part anymore as I am broadcasting. So you're going to be on camera eventually? No, I like the behind producing stuff. And I like the organizational aspect of producing. What do producers do? What does even a producer mean? I think they just press record. I have the behind producing stuff. And I like the organizational aspect of producing. What do producers do? What does even a producer mean?

I think they just press record. I have no idea. No. A music producer is different than a TV producer. That's true. You know, all different producers have different types of skill sets. And produce can mean vegetables. Yeah.

What the hell? Mm-hmm. So what's your specialty? I don't know much about vegetables, but I know about videoing, producing. I did news station, like, news producing, so now I'm kind of learning how to do it with, like, new media, podcasts. Connor, Cooper, which one? Reed. Reed?

What's your favorite vegetable? A big broccoli guy. I do like broccoli. Really? Kind of lame, but I do like broccoli. Really? Oh, man. Do you count tomatoes as vegetables? Yeah, you might have to go.

You might have to fucking go. Broccoli's probably the worst one. I mean, I don't hate any particular one. You want to go again? Want me to try again? Knowing how mean you are about broccoli. What's your favorite vegetable? I also like carrots.

Carrots are good. Are you talking about like a cooked carrot in a stew? It has to be cooked. Raw carrots with like a ranch dip, maybe. Maybe. Yeah. As long as I douse them in dip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Any vegetables, as long as I can just douse them. Yeah, you need some kind of dip. I don't just go get a stalk of broccoli and just start eating it. What about eggplants? Oh, an eggplant. I don't hate them, but I don't love them. I don't know if I've ever had an eggplant, to be honest. You've never had a fried eggplant?

I don't think so, maybe. What color is it, yellow? Purple. Purple? Purple. Squash is yellow. Squash, yeah, squash is yellow. Interesting.

Interesting. I feel like we're learningash is yellow. Interesting. Interesting. I feel like we're learning a lot about you guys. Where are you guys living this summer? Jersey City. Really? Is it expensive? Not too bad. Decent commute, about a half hour.

Yeah? How about you? I'm subletting a place in Kips Bay. In Kips Bay? Taking over a girl's room. That's a good spot to be. I'd love to be young again in New York City. Yeah, what was it like when you were young in New York City, Kate?

You saw my phone list yesterday. A lot of guys. What is this? We're doing this thing about our contacts. You know how many contacts you have on your phone? I have 99 contacts on my phone. She has about 800, I think, right? Yeah, 800-something.

I'm sure you have a lot but she showed me a lot of her contacts was guy from subway guy from footlocker not guy from subway guy i met at the bar that one time yeah tubing guy tubing guy big guy treehouse guy uh house guy sounds interesting he was he was he had this huge treehouse out in Snohomish, Washington. I went out there after I got divorced and just drove around for a couple weeks. And you have to throw parties in this treehouse. And I said, I'm in. Did you go out there searching for a treehouse guy or just happened to find one? No, no.

I just started. How many people could go to a party in a treehouse? What do you think? How many? Well, not everybody. I think four. Get up there. I don't think this was a treehouse.

I think this was a house that happened to be adjacent to a tree. No, no. This guy, he was known for his New Year's Eve treehouse parties. He had like- Was it in a tree? Like one of those where it's a tree and there's a house on top? Like connected to other. It was like a world.

A network of treehouses. Is this a woman displaying treehouses to her? No. No, no. There's a lot of people that call tree houses just a house in the woods. They're like, ah, it kind of has a tree in the middle of the living room. But that's a real tree house. Get ready, intern.

Stephen Shea has a question. Kate, you banged in a tree house, didn't you? I'm sorry. You had to see that. What of it? What of it? What if I did? Legend.

What if I did? I. What if I did? I'm trying to find out how many people were at this treehouse party. I'd say probably. Was it 16? Was it 30? Huh? A lot of people. I'm telling you.

How many? A party in the woods. How many people were up in the treehouse? Yes. You had to be. It was kind of like you had to know the guy. How many people was it? There were people milling about under the treehouse?

I would say like 30 maybe. 30. Okay. Not that many.? There were people milling about under the treehouse? I would say like 30 maybe. 30, okay. Not that many. In the treehouse. 30 were in the treehouse? We're like amongst the tree. How many people were in the treehouse? Maybe like 15.

But it was a bridge. There was two. That sounds like a lot. That is a lot. That's a thing. They had the little string lights going. Thanks. I'd like to explore a tubing guy a little bit.

Did you just float past a guy and add him to your contact? I was at a wedding, and I heard another table talking about going tubing. And I said, hello, I'm traveling around by myself out here. Can I come tubing with you guys? Was it in Washington? Yes. And they were like, I spent a lot of time around Portland and Seattle, just kind of bouncing around.

And I said, can I go with you guys? They were like, oh, my God, of course. And they had one of those 15-people tubes that they tied a bunch of other tubes to. Yes. How long ago was this? 2017. If you were a single male in the Washington, Oregon area in 2017, you – You've met me.

Yeah, good shot. We've met. There was Bike Tour guy. But yeah, you know you don't look at your... When's the last time you actually scrolled through all the names in your contacts? And yesterday doing that was the first time. You didn't put like Joe Bike Tour?

No, it was all like... Guy. Guy. It was all this guy, that guy, that guy. How many contacts you got? 938, I just checked. Didn't bang all the guys. They're just guys. No one's judging you?

Not that anything would be wrong if I did. No one's judging you. Sorry. That's probably what Kip's Bay will be like. Anyway, that's essentially what I was getting at. That's Kip's Bay. A lot of tubing. A lot of tree houses in Kips Bay.

So watch out. I wonder how you pick a neighborhood if you're coming from Texas. Yeah, no. I didn't know anything. Yeah? I just went through

Facebook groups, looked for random girls. Did they seem nice? What was your criteria for the women that you were linking up with? Just honestly that they were women

and that they weren't scammers. Yeah. So, yeah. That makes sense. Just some nice they were women And that they weren't scammers Yeah So yeah That makes sense Just some nice polite women Do they have pictures like posted Like candles Could be these like Facebook groups

Yeah NYC like girls subletting And you just kind of stalk them after Make sure they're real Oh you go through like the back channels Look up their Instagram and shit like that Yeah Interesting

And how'd you pick Jersey City I moved in with my brother Tyler Oh Oh yeah Tyler Look up their Instagram and shit like that. Interesting. And how'd you pick Jersey City? I moved in with my brother. Oh. Oh, yeah, Tyler. You're Tyler's brother. I am. Just crashed on his couch.

Bro, shut the fuck up. Why didn't you lead with that? I didn't feel like I needed to. Wait, you're actually Tyler's brother? He's Tyler Miller's brother. You're Tyler Miller's brother? Yeah. You should have lived with that. What the fuck,'s brother. You're Tyler Miller's brother? Yeah. You should have lived with that.

What the fuck, dude? I'm going to make my own name here. I'm just trying to stand on my own here. Yeah, but no one's going to be like, I wasn't going to take anything away from you. I'll contextualize you. I'd probably give you money. You think it's kind of bullshit that your brother works here and got you an internship here?

That's kind of nepotism. He got it on his own. That kind of nepotism? Not like how you did it with your sister. He got it on his own that kind of nepotism not like how you did it with your sister he did it on his own right he pulled he did it off the off the strength whoa he did it off the strength of his own edit i'd say it certainly helped but i was i think i was able to kind of work my way up a bit of my own good for you that's what she did too dude so your brother is uh famous for working lots of different jobs on the come up.

He was working. He put up tents a whole summer or something like that, right? Yeah, yeah. You ever do some shit like that? No, I just did an event set up in my college. So you did do some shit like that? No tents, just tables and chairs. Oh, okay. We just went under the tents.

We were working tandem. Holy fuck, dude. I'm excited that you're Tyler's brother. Me too. You want some nepotism? You want some extra opportunities that other people wouldn't get? I'll give you some. Say yes.

I'll give you some. I'll give you some extra opportunities. No, thank you. Just a little bit of preferential treatment? I'll take them. I want them. Yeah? Take them, Kate.

Are you related to anybody here? No. Oh, that's stupid. They're only available for the Miller family. I'm only trying to boost up the Miller family. From my experience with your brother, dude, he has great work ethic. Are you trying to separate yourself from him in that way as well? By having not good work ethic?

I don't know. You tell me. That would be a strong play. I'm an old man. No, I want to try to match it, I'd say. Maybe exceed it. Yeah. Exceed it, yeah.

Plus one. You guys ever fist fight growing up? Not that I recall. We all kind of got along. That's dope because they got another one. How many? Is there three? Yeah, three.

They got another one in the pipeline. Your brother also has broken his limbs a lot. We all have. I got flimsy limbs. We all have. We're all built flimsy limbs? We all have. We're all built the same. Long and lanky. Speaking of, did you see who broke his elbow?

Yeah, Stanko. Stanko. Karma for lying about $20 million. Are you a Swifty? Yeah, yeah. I love Taylor. Would you rather go to a Taylor Swift concert or get $20 million in cash? $20 million in cash.

Yeah. Stanko lied about it. Taylor Swift, play on your lap for $20 million in cash? $20 million in cash. Yeah. Thank you a lot about it. Taylor Swift, play on your lap for $20 million. We had his elbow fucking broken. Yeah, I guess after the episode, he rode his bike home after the, yeah. Went right over his handlebars. I'm just going to go ahead and say radial neck sounds a lot worse than broken elbow.

Radial neck as the term for a broken elbow is,ial neck, as the term for a broken elbow is, sounds much worse. Where's the neck in this? I fractured my radial head, which is the whole... I chopped the whole top of my elbow off. Has everything in here? I remember that because I would think about it like the band Radiohead. I cracked my radial head off.

That's got to suck so bad. You don't want to break that. I want to have good bones, dude. You don't want to break that. I want to have good bones, dude. I don't want to lose. You're going to break a bone, but not the elbow. Yeah, that looks like it sucks. I want to break a fucking leg.

A lot of broken bones around here lately. I don't like it. It's going around. We need some milk. I know. We're probably all so unhealthy. We need to put milk on the menu in here. Instead, we just drink salty drinks

and get kidney stones in unison. Yeah, and order Chick-fil-A every day. I'm surprised you haven't had a kidney stone. I'm shocked. It's nothing but this little water slide in there. It's nothing but trash in there, buddy. That's what kidney stones are. What do you think a kidney stone is?

You can't make kidney stones. Remember last summer, like 15 people here were passing kidney stones. Ours is a big kidney stone guy, right? Cody Lanza has one right now. Cody Lanza's got one right now? Apparently Cody Lanza often has kidney stones. A kidney stone's bullshit. I think I just shoot myself.

You know what's bullshit? Pearls. Pearls are bullshit. You could just crack open a fucking mollusk. Yeah. Am I right about that? Is it a mollusk? I don't know where he's bullshit pearls. Pearls are bullshit. You could just crack open a fucking mollusk. Yeah. Am I right about that? Is it a mollusk? I don't know what you're talking about.

It's an oyster, right? Right. What's a pearl in? I don't know. You don't know how pearls are made? You answer every question. He's curt. If you're avoiding a line of questioning with the cops.

Yeah, he's curt as hell, bro. He's curt angle over here. You're trying to not snitch on somebody or you're trying to not... He's withholding information. You're withholding information. This boy's curt.

Oh, how pearls are made. This boy's curt as hell. Well, next time you come in the yak, I'd like... Look up how pearls are made. Yeah, I'd like you to at least be able to verbalize it in like a sentence or two.

But basically, this animal either shits it out or makes it, right? I saw them crack one open. So you understand how pearls are made. I even had an oyster at a restaurant, and there was a tiny little pearl in it. So I'm just going to go ahead and say you could have stepped in for Reed right there and taken that bullet. Wish he did.

You let him stand in a line of fire. I don't know if he had an answer. I'm not sure y'all are getting along. The interns are getting along as well as y'all think y'all are. Maybe not. It's doggy dog out here. Yeah. I saw them crack open one recently, and there was like fucking 25 gold perfect round pearls.

A whole damn necklace worth of pearls in there that were like the size of marbles. I was like, why that one? How did they even know that that one would have that much shit in it? Well, I think there's farms now where they inject the little grains of sand into the shells so that they know it'll make oysters. Can you do the injection again? What do you guys think about blood diamonds? Yeah. Yeah, what's your stance on that? Are we doing me first again?

Yeah, you first. We're doing you first every time. First, how's the blood on that? Are we doing me first again? Yeah. Yeah, you first. We're doing you first every time. First, how's the Blood Diamond made? Oh, no. I don't know much about pearls, diamonds, et cetera. I'm trying to be as transparent as possible. I'm going to go a different direction. I'm going to go.

Can you give me a list of, like, three subjects that you were versed in? We can go from there. I like basketball. I think I know a lot about the NBA in terms of interests, I guess, or hobbies. Producing. Okay. I'm a production intern and Barstool. I'm all together, I guess.

All right. So do you think that he'd have a chance to win the series? No. I'm actually pretty frustrated about that after they just kind of walked yeah but tyler was the only person i i felt sad for uh when the celtics lost he was the only person that i felt sad for nobody no for tyler i did you did not no because i want we're tweeting uh passive aggressively yeah but i care about tyler and his emotions. Tyler and I work with one another, and his happiness is my happiness. I didn't care about you not feeling good, just your brother.

I just wanted him to be glad about it. You didn't know until two minutes ago. Yeah, now I know. Maybe I would have cared, but you'll have to wait until next season. They'll probably have a new coach and a couple new stars by then. What are your three things that you know well? Gosh, I don't know. It's kind of embarrassing.

I don't know much about sports, like the ins and outs. Oh, you're fine. Don't worry about that. I'm just going to kind of go with the flow, whatever, like producing. I probably know everything about, I guess, pop culture, Kardashians, all that fun stuff, reality TV. He's a huge Bravo. He's a big Bravo guy.

Do you like Bravo, or are you more E? I mean, I guess they're not on E anymore. But, yeah, I watched, like, Vanderpump since the beginning. We're talking to the right. For, like, five years or so. Yeah. Who's had the biggest come up this season, do you think? Ariana.

Ariana, you think? Yeah, she was cheated on. She's kind of, all of a sudden, she's on, like, every advertisement and TV channel and stuff. She has had a personal come up. But James Kennedy didn't even get cheated on. And he's had a come up like no other. You don't think so? Well, he's a little iffy.

He's kind of unstable. He's very unstable, but I like him. He's really funny as a reality. I think Rowan disagrees with you. I see disagreement in his face. I think that this season he's been the most stable of any of his seasons on the show. At the reunion when he storms off four times?

That's him managing his anger. That's true. He's furious. His ex-best friend and his ex-girlfriend are having an affair behind his back. You don't think that a little bit of emotion is warranted? Yeah. No, it is. You're right. I gotta see something. You don't have to agree with me. I didn't put myself in his shoes. You're right. I gotta see something. You don't have to agree with me.

I didn't put myself in his shoes. You're right. I gotta see him perform live, though. I know some people that saw him this past weekend in Charleston, and they said that he was fucking crushing it as a DJ. Who, Sandoval?

Oh, what's his face? Because Sandoval does music, right? Yeah, he's in a band. They're both just touring right now. You'd think that they would just put their minds together and just make it a one-stop shop for Bravo fans. I know. I bet they hate each other right now. Yeah. You'd think that they would just put their minds together and just make it a one-stop shop for Bravo fans.

I know. Gosh. I bet they hate each other, though, so. Probably. Yeah, he's a freaking worm with a mustache. Yeah. All right. Hey, I think you guys have done well.

Yep. Yeah. Thank you. Was it scary? I was a bit off guard. I was busy editing, and then I turned around to see him staring at me and kind of threw me off guard a bit, but. I was busy editing, and then I turned around to see him staring at me, and that threw me off guard a bit.

What were you editing? I feel like that's a mischaracterization of what happened. I walked up to you and said, Hey, sir, my name is Brandon. Would you so oblige me to join me on the act? There's no way those are the words you used. I didn't even use them correctly here. Slightly paraphrased, but he's not fully wrong.

I'd say we both correct a little bit in our own ways. I think we can both be correct. I think we both can be correct. I was very friendly. I said, hey, you guys want to come? I just didn't expect to see Brent Walker when I turned to my right. It's like a Yeti kind of figure. Tell the truth. You're a Barstool fan, right?

But you love Bree and Grace, yes? Yeah. I know he just said my name, but could you call his name my name and her name? Like, say your name? Could you say who we are? Yeah. I mean, you're Brandon. Yep.

And now I'm blanking. Okay. I've had a lot of information thrown at me this week, guys. This made me feel so good normally I'm a he's such a piece of shit his ego is just insane once you say it

we're not going to say it though we're not going to say it I'm so sorry it truly doesn't bother me at all you know what that is it's a little Sasquatch. Little Sas. So now you know.

But I'm excited for you guys this summer. Thank you. I'm happy that you guys came in. Yeah, thanks for coming in. You guys are great. Thank you very much. For letting us on. Shut her down.

You guys want to sign us off? Does one of you want to kind of say say like have a good weekend to our fans and you know we'll see you guys on Monday or something like that? Should we like same time? Same time. Same time.

Yeah. Let's say exactly what he said. Have a good weekend. See y'all next week. Right? One, two, three. Have a good weekend. We'll see you next week.

Yay. Same thing. I told him to say y'all and then you said y'all. I'm sorry. It's okay. Okay. It's the act. It's the act.