The Yak - Steven Runs For the Hills When He Sees an Iguana | The Yak 5-4-23

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, the Yak brought to you by Roback. I'm wearing this handsome hoodie right here. They're so comfortable. They're light. They're soft. They're cushioning. I like everything about them.

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That's R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. 20% off all performance hoodies, joggers, and polos with code YAK. Get ready for spring with Roback. Boys and lady. Hello. And gal. It's more cowbell, the Mississippi State Podcast Presented by Gondolier Italian Restaurant and Bar in Starkville, Mississippi Hi, hello, it's Thursday afternoon and we are here at the well

We're here at my house We are at my house in Fulton, Mississippi as I do the show from the house. I'll tell you what, it's been humid as all get out today, which is a little early for the spring. What's on? No, it's one thing for you to do that. Welcome, Alan T. Hand. Welcome, fam.

All right. So how much research did you do? I went into the deepest I could find on Facebook. Not only. I memorized the intro. Did he call out the intro of More Cowbell? You had the sponsor, right? Gondolier Italian Restaurant.

It's no longer with us. I had everything right. You had some of my people, Alan Tehan. I ruined it because I thought it was real. I was watching that, and then I saw it was four years ago, and I was amazed that it was only four years. Pretty good show, right? It was a good show. Yeah, no, my look is, it looks like it was.

The look is insane. So you're doing well. I am doing well. Rudy, hello. What's up? How you doing? Good, man. slightly above average that's sort of the you're average you're an average guy i strive to be average every day of my life which is actually kind of the best place to be if you're above average people expect stuff of you if you're below average they make fun of you yeah and then when you're above average the only thing coming next is the fall.

I thought that intro was so cutely fake Southern. I thought that couldn't possibly be a real thing. I thought more cowbell with gondolier Italian. I thought that was fake. I didn't realize. It was all real. Well, I had three sponsors, gondolier, maroon. What are you doing?

He's bringing in the real thing, I think. Yeah. More Cowbell, the Mississippi State podcast, presented by Gondolier Italian Restaurant in Starville, Mississippi. Hi. Hello. Sunday night, we are here in the, well, we're at my house. We are at my house here in Fulton, Mississippi,

as I do the show from the house. I thought that was like a morning sunshine bit. I thought that was. When did you? When did you? I don't think. Just got curious. Just watching.

I researched all of yous. What do you have? All of us? Yeah, we'll get to that later. Okay. Interesting. Rowan, how are we feeling? I hope we're not doom and gloom like some of your other compadres.

Who's doom and gloom? Smitty? I think Smitty might be. Smitty was doom and gloom like some of your other compadres. Who's doom and gloom? Smitty? I think Smitty might be. Smitty was doom and gloom. It's a good time. He's mad that they played the MVP of the league last night, which I find to be a curious stance. I see his argument.

Get his legs going. The way I said it's like using the gnaws. Hey, Joe, you want to play? Yeah, I do. Okay, cool. But it's like, are you sure? If you ask the Nas button if it wants to get hit, it's going to say yes. The Nas button always wants to get hit.

But you know what I mean? You've got to use the Nas at the right time. So they might have used the Nas a little bit early. You know, they had a lead. They're like, we're going to fucking end this thing right now with the Nas. What happened to Zah? What happened to Zah? He's severely limping. He like end this thing right now with the Nas. What happened to Zah? What happened to Zah? Severely limping.

He like, stunk his whole body walking out the door. Stunk his whole body? Stumped his body? Stumped his body? He's still getting out back. I guess when your body is a toe, you will stub it. Jesus. Zah should beat your ass. Well, I'm going to get... He's been...

Me and Zah are at beef right now. Why? Because he said last week he could kick my ass. I think he could. Yeah, he could. I don't think so. Couldn't even beat Alan Tehan in a wrestling match. First of all, that's a great guy. I would never fight him.

Yeah. Who the hell is Alan Tehan? He watched more Cowbell last night. I scrubbed a lot of more Cowbell. And he memorized all my people. A little football heavy. I think that was during football season. Yeah, but I wish you would have just talked more.

I wanted to get to know more of who you were at the time. I'm sure there are episodes where I... Even like Twitter, I scrubbed your old tweets. It was all football talk. Yeah, well, I was pretty much a one-track pony before I got here. Still am. One-track pony almost works, too. That kind of makes sense, too. A pony that one track pony almost track pony that kind of makes sense too pony that only runs on one track that kind of makes sense be hard to beat him on that

track early on i listened to a couple episodes of more cowbell too yeah i think if you really dug back in you and my text uh conversations that there were a couple allusions to more cowbell it was uh it was a different universe back then i was happier it looked archaic there was one you there was someone in you had a guest on like longer hair and there was like a woman in the background laughing okay i don't remember the guest uh longer hair was it dreadlocked hair i think his name was it wasn't sting whatever his name oh steve but his name was steve steve yeah steve robertson yeah he had long stringy hair yeah he's possibly in jail now i don't know It wasn't Sting, whatever his name was. Oh, it was Steve. But his name was Steve. Steve, yeah. Steve Robertson, yeah. He had long, stringy hair, yeah.

He's possibly in jail now. I don't know. Who was the maiden giggling in the back? I don't remember the maiden giggling. That might have been my wife. Oh. That very well might have been my wife. So you would do the show from your house every day? Because sometimes it looked like different looking.

At that point, I would do it in my house, but I rented an office in Tupelo, which is where I was doing uh more cowbell and the my bookie stream before i got here what was the office like it was just me and another guy that rented an office and we never crossed paths did you have snacks or decorations it was just a it was just a room out of the mill it's just it's just like if i rented that podcast studio it's just just a little room that i set up and that's's all I had. Hey, why do you think you were happier? Aspiration? You were just aspiring to the greater things?

Well, just less going on, you know, less to worry about. And I'm plenty happy now. More money. Yep. And all that. Zod, why were you limping? You hear me? I hit my leg on Chase's chair when I was going to go get Outback.

The food's great, by the way. Shout out to Outback. Shout out to Outback. So Che's story checks out. Or TJ's story checks out. Damn. Where's everybody at today? What the hell?

This is a Yakagami or what? It almost has to be, right? We have never done this before. All Rico in here? Thought about texting him. Let's just wait. Did you hear how he said, um? Yeah.

That was kind of like, don't bring in Rico. We talked about this. We talked about it before, yeah. I want him. I want somebody on. I said Rico or Donnienie we have two chairs i see donnie over there yeah and it could be anybody what the hell's going on in y'all's lives well um i'm the king of the south again i mean that's not that big of a deal how excited are you about that

i'm not excited the way it happened i always thought i'd be very happy that the amendments got fired i had planned it out in my head i had said uh when he gets fired you know i had a band on retainer i was gonna throw a party but the way it happened i can't really celebrate i mean i can i did but i i can't publicly too much you can't do i can't too much not too much i think he's gonna be just I think he's going to be just fine. He's going to be somewhat better off. I was crushing. I hope he prospers in some way. Did any of you talk to him? I talked to him a couple times, actually.

Send him a text? Yeah. Double tap? I actually texted him some positive words at like 4.30 yesterday before I knew. What? Yeah, I texted him just out of the blue. About the incident? You'll be fine.

Ever since it happened. I don't know what you said. Ever since it happened, I was texting him nice things. And then I don't know what I texted him yesterday. Then when I texted him, he called me and he said, oh, when did you hear about it? I said, I haven't heard anything. And he told me. And then I felt bad.

The timing was awful. He said that two things that stuck with me from our conversation. One, he has seven job offers already. That's what he told me. Seven. I'm done feeling bad. Seven's incredible. And then the other thing he said is, I'm not phased in the least.

At all. He's not phased. He's going to be fine. He, in fact, texted me, I'm not phased in the least. Yeah. Well, who was saying he's not phased in the least. At all. He's not phased. No. He's going to be fine. He, in fact, texted me, I'm not phased in the least. Yeah. Well, who was saying he's not phased? He's going to be phased a smidge. No, he's not phased in the least.

I would be phased a lot, but you would think an iota of a phase. The market has spoken, dude. Seven offers. I am not phased at all. Oh, he's selling out. How did he spell phase? E-H-A-S-E-D. Close.

Quitting alcohol was a hell of a lot harder. This shit is nothing. He's right. Yeah. He's a positive, positive, positive man. Somebody else either tweeted or said when they called him to talk to him and cheer him up, Ben Mintz had to stop midway because someone on the street stopped him for an autograph or something like that.

So he is. All right. Well, I hope we get more Ben content. We need it. We'll be continuing. on the street stopped him for like an autograph or something like that so he is all right well i hope we get more ben content you need it we continue let's leave a hole in the yak schedule we don't have future weeks whatever he's just going to be doing it for another company we'll watch it for a little bit and then come back in a year i think it helps that there wasn't a crumb of racism in the video. It's more comical than anything. It was Anchorman

reading off the teleprompter. Yeah. There was no vinegar on that. What did you say, bro? I heard the end of the word and I didn't know the beginning. Dude, how the fuck do you fuck up that fast? I mean,

I wish I would do that on purpose. I just meant there was no salt on it. Oh, man. Of all the words. Of all the condiments. Oh, my God. A little bit of creative editing, bro. You just gave the fucking chat GPT all it needs to recreate you.

Yeah. In a bad boy. No, he's... Good for him. He's literally seven jobs. He's going to bounce back very quickly. He's like, I just talked to the president. Yeah, didn't the mayor of...

Mayor of Oxford, Mississippi. Called him. Called him. It is kind of interesting. We're posting like tributes to him. And then if someone outside is like, well, what happened to him? He said the N-word. Yeah.

Oh, that's why everyone feels so bad. For him. Listen, I mean. Yeah, the optics are. On paper. Nobody here thought he should have gotten fired, but we get it, right? Yeah. Get it.

Yeah, it just sucks. A lot of words you can say. Not that one. That's the one it's literally the one yeah sucks what a time but it seems like he's going to be i wonder what his next gig will be could be anything dude if he ran for president i think a million people would vote for him i don't think he went but i think one million people would vote for him i'm trying to think. What's the lowest amount of votes someone has ever gotten?

Like someone who's actually on the ballot. Can't be anybody. Like Kanye was on the ballot. He probably got millions. Millions. Harambe got quite a few too. Harambe probably got millions. Yeah.

Ralph Nader for years always should just throw his hat in there and just what if. He can do some numbers. Did Kanye, do you think he got millions? I think he did. I think he countered it.

It's pathetic because it's a healthy amount. I know. That's why I think Vince could get it. He's at least as big as Kanye. One million?

One million votes? The road to one million. Support for him would be a million man march. I think that would be awesome. Arms across

America for... In 2020, the third party candidate Joe Jurgensen got 1.8. I don't even know who that is. I've never heard that. Bagley. 1.8 million. 60k?

That seems low. Does he actually own the ballot or did you have to write him in? I don't know. He wasn't on the ballot. No, what am I saying? Kanye West wasn't on our official presidential ballot. I don't know how it works. I forget how it works.

Come on. What are we talking about? We had a presidential ballot. Kanye West's name wasn't on it. But you can write in any name. Right, write in. Sure. Right. Write in anything. I don't know if he was an official. Write in's name wasn't on it. But you can write in any name. Right, write in, sure. Right.

Write in anything. I don't know if he was an official. Write in Spider-Man if you want. Yeah. And there's probably people that waited in line to write in Spider-Man. Uh-huh. Which is funny. Hilarious.

I wonder what fictional character has received the most write-in votes of all time. Mickey Mouse? It's definitely Harambe. I think it's not fictional at all. He's not fictional at all. He's not fictional, yeah. In local elections, I've written in like Spongebob and stuff when I didn't know who the,

like just made up, when you don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Spongebob winning an election would be great. I feel like Spongebob's probably gotten a lot. I feel like that's an easy just. But Mickey Mouse goes back 100 years.

Has anyone here never voted in any realm? Voted. I'm guessing. I voted in any realm? Voted. I'm guessing. I voted. Mm-hmm. I used to. You voted, Kyle? I used to care.

Have you voted? Yeah. I'm trying to think. How many times? I don't know. Why are you being flirty about it? You're being like Matt. Boy.

I don't know. I don't know who would attack me if I didn't I used to be like you did like a plane unless you don't see move no to not vote I never did most people do most people vote or do most people don't vote I think most people don't vote if you had of like all the people all the people in the do most people don't vote? I think most people don't vote. Most people don't. Of all the people in the country, a majority doesn't vote, right? I think the last one we got almost half. A gang of people voted. Was it almost half voted? I don't know.

Maybe it was more. You've got to think about the children and the invalid. I think more people voted in the last one than ever voted before. But I still don't think it was. Yeah, people were real charged up. I don't remember people caring that much about politics before, but maybe it was just because I was a kid. Yeah, they all.

I guess social media changed a little. The Bush elections were crazy, even as I was like a second grader. Remember the hanging chads? Yeah. Sort of the little like nuggets that didn't fall off. That was more like society. It wasn't like people were arguing over, I don't know. It felt like a societal moment,

not like there was a hot-button issue of hanging chads. Because I remember them well, too, but I don't even remember what side they were on. Me neither. What side were the chads on? I don't remember. Bush. Was it Bush?

For Bush? For Bush, I think. i think it was al gore wasn't it oh it was in florida that's all i know and bush ultimately won florida that's what won him the election i think there's definitely a bunch of chad jokes wasn't there in that bush election wasn't there a big recount i I mean, it went on for weeks. Yeah, didn't it? It went on for weeks. Did they call that a runoff?

It wasn't a runoff. It was just a... They had to count the chats. Yeah. They were literally counting by hand a bunch of ballots, which would have been a great time to stuff the ballot box. Was there a lot of election fraud accusations at that time? I don't like this. I don't like y'all turning to me as the source of wisdom on this.

It happened in 2000. It happened in 2000. It happened in 1984. Okay, I was 12. Now, I'm old as fuck. You certainly knew what the world was by 12. I was reading the sports section of the newspaper, and that was it. That's what I was doing when I was 22. No, you were definitely tapped in a little bit more.

22, you have a better idea than when you're in sixth grade. 22, I was still three years away from having sex for the first time i had a bedtime that's like two i couldn't tell you growing up whether my parents were like democrat or republican like i had no idea what my neighbors yeah heard i had no idea like what the adults in my life like now i feel like that's very different too i agree there's kids being like my dad distrusted all politicians and all policemen and all people he he what he hated all of them distrusted i feel that too but he was hiding a lot more politicians than policemen i feel like everyone always had that one kid and we were in middle school that was like super into politics and he would always spout off at the lunch table

and everyone's like, bro, no. There was always that one kid. Wore a suit. Yeah, wore a suit. Yeah, wore a suit, yeah. He had meth in my baseball glove. He had meth where? On your Facebook wall?

On my baseball glove. Baseball glove. Hit his cocaine in my Snoopy tackle box. You found it? No, no. I just remember him telling one of his friends, his cocaine friends were over, and he said, they'll never look in this kid's tackle box. You heard him? No, no, I just remember him telling one of his friends His cocaine friends were over and he said They'll never look in this kid's tackle box You heard him?

Who's they? I was sitting in the living room with them Police or One of his cocaine friends I thought he was trying to hide it from you No That was fine That was fine, yeah

That is, I mean, that's how it should be with drugs, you know It should just be legal The whole family should be in on it Yeah, it should just be out in the open. It's weird when you're hiding it. I guess it's from the law. And where was the cocaine in your? Snoopy tackle box.

Where was the meth? Oh, in your baseball glove? Uh-huh. Did that affect your game? Well, no, it was usually going to be in the off season, not when I was using it. Quicker hands at the plate? Maybe it wasn't meth, but it was little baggies of stuff

that he would put in all the fingers. Yeah, when Brandon was reaching for a pop fly, it was like Elastigirl. In 2017, you tweeted that this is the worst sporting event of the year. What? The Little League World Series. Yeah. Why so out?

We pretend every year to care about 12-year-olds playing baseball. Playing baseball poorly. It's a shitty event. It's a terrible, shitty event. And if you care about it, you're terrible and shitty. Nobody cares about 12-year-olds playing baseball. Rico? Rico

is a terrible person, yes. Who are we looking at? I don't know. Is that Carson Presley again? No, it's not. Maybe it's another one of them. The gays? Very handsome. Very well put together.

That was my dad giveaway that he must be... He looks like he's got his shit together. He's got to be gay. Not to be gay. I made eye contact. Oh, fuck.

I feel awkward. She's the one looking at the door. Yeah, that's it. Yes, I'm She's the one who looked in the door. Yeah, that's it. Don't look at her. We can still say gay, right? It depends what school you're in. I think you are allowed some places and aren't allowed some places.

Kyle, how far back did you go on my tweets? Pretty far. You got bored, dude. You didn't tweet about much. No, I really didn't is there any other what are some other bad sporting events you want me to go back

to yours dude no because they're firing people out here bro yeah yeah they're firing people bro I'd like to keep this yours are funny

like alright give me some give me some see if you want none about I wouldn't do you dirty alright keep this. Yours are funny. Like, alright, give me some, give me some. See if you want. None about, none about, like. I wouldn't do you dirty.

Alright. We'll start fame. In 2013, you ate at this restaurant, one of the best restaurants in the city. No.

No idea. Alice Spina. Alice Spina, wow, fucking, uh, Steve, uh Fucking Stephen Starr, I think. Or no, Vetri. Vetri. Vetri.

Mark Vetri. Oh, yeah. Vetri. It was off of Broad Street. Incredible tapas. They also had a, that kitchen had something I'd never seen before. You could, it was called the Ode to the Publican. You could buy the kitchen a six-pack of beer and get them drunk while you were eating.

What? That kind of sick. Yeah. You just get the kitchen drunk. They usually just get high. Yeah, they're already fucked up. They probably got met in the baseball glove

or whatever. Big time. October 2016 you said this person is secretly your favorite eagle. Freddie Millins. Damn, Freddie Millins. Damn, Freddie Millins was the Eagle.

Fifth round draft pick of the Eagle. But, uh, dang, bro, you stumped me on me. Yeah, Benny Logan. Benny Logan, bro. Yeah, D-Tackle out of LSU, bro. I thought his name would be a good rap name. Benny Logan. That is a good one.

Wow, I did love him. Holy shit, bro, you know more about me than me. I do, I do. What keywords were you looking up? Were you just scrolling the timeline? Favorite, worst, best. Oh, shit. Ron, did you ever have any other rap names?

No. Didn't work out. I couldn't think of anything good. Ron was just a nickname that I had in high school. It works good. It does. It's better than making something up. Yeah.

Just like go with a nickname you had. Yeah. Instead of naming yourself. You can't really give yourself a nickname, you know? Yeah. No, it's true. I remember when I was in middle school, I was like, if I'm ever a rapper, I want to be a little Snoopy. And there's no rhyme or reason. I wanted to just do

my first album cover, me laying on top of the doghouse like Snoopy. I think that's a dead rapper, right? It was a little Snoop. He was Meek Mill's little guy from New Orleans. I know that. Another bro from New Orleans lost, dude.

Sad. Sad times, dude. He was good. I think he was a beast. He was even like rap battles. Yeah. Mellow freestyle. And he had like a rap battle against like T.I.'s Young Bull. And they fucking put up money.

It was an early YouTube video. Damn, R. Do you want to cancel me now? Do you want to do like the bad ones? In 2012, you said these Olympians this sport is your favorite body type. 2012.

Probably synchronized swimmers for the big backs. For the wide lats. Lats like they could. These Olympians. What's like an Olympic? What year was that? Summer or winter? Is it male body type? If I had to pick my favorite athlete body type

From the Olympics, it would have to be The blank What could that be? I really have no idea if it's men or women Can you tell us summer or winter? It is definitely a more masculine sport, but it's co-ed. Oh, co-ed. They don't compete against one another.

They should. Because I don't think there's a... Roller skating? There's a gender advantage. Like skating? No. Speed skating? Shooting.

The shooters. Oh, yeah. Got crazy body aud's all the fucking shooters holding her fucking rifle ass popping I don't even know what a body type

of a shooter is there probably isn't it fat guys yeah there's a lot of fat guys there's gotta be fat guys cause at first

I was thinking biathlon I think there's a lot of old fat dudes in biathlon they test for alcohol cause it's a performance enhancing drug cause like when you're skiing and then you have to shoot it like artificially fat dudes. In biathlon, they test for alcohol because it's a performance-enhancing drug.

Because when you're skiing and then you have to shoot, it artificially lowers your blood rate. Alcohol? Yeah. I am more accurate when I'm drunk. You've been drunk shooting? Driving. Not with guns, but with things. What things?

Shooting the club up? I remember basketball or anything that you just lowers the anxiety i will say some of my best practices in college for was when i was hung over but like still drunk hung over i felt like just so confident for what sport i played field hockey field hockey yeah and then rugby of course we're always playing hungover and stuff but i knew you played rugby but i didn't know so like were you an accurate shot or passer or was there accuracy involved with your confidence it was like i played i went to play d2 field not to brag d2 field hockey um but the coach was from the netherlands and he was like super intense and i was freshman year i'm like an anxious person i hated it

and so whenever i was super hungover in practice i was like still drunk nailed it i always got prayed those are the only days i ever got praised was like when i nailed it i always got prey those are the only days i ever got praised was like when i was it does work in hockey we call that playing guilty really yeah i just felt so yeah i swear to god it was the only days they were ever like great job today i always thought i couldn't because it makes no logical sense no but i think the reason why and like it's in the name like playing guilty like you're you're since you're hung over you're like oh i really gotta overstep it up yeah so i think it's like a fight or flight it does work every once in a while i remember like it's like a thing in the hockey world or if you're ever in a slump you just go get absolutely fucking obliterated

and then just play the next day or practice hung over yeah it kind of snaps you i don't know it's like a reset yeah it's on to something there. Yeah. That's interesting. I've never heard of that before. Yeah. Now I do that, yeah, whenever we have to do, like, podcasts or something. I'm like, man, I got to go get shit-faced and play guilty. Yeah. Why don't shooters compete co-ed?

Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, what does shooting... That's what I was saying. Yeah, I don't know. What difference does it make? I remember in the Marines, the guys would always say it's not fair because you guys have boobs to rest your arms on for the standing so it's an advantage for women people say it's an advantage for us well not me but some people had a big advantage there's they'd be like because they um i don't know if this is true

people have said it even glenny had a marine on on only stands and you get like one free plastic surgery in the military i've heard that for like you can claim it's like oh yeah mental health or whatever i think it's true but they would say women are getting boob jobs just so they do really well in the rifle range just so they have like a shelf that's why they're rifles yeah yeah shoot better it's because i want to shoot better i want to be more lethal. So I'm going to get giant tits. Holy shit. Abba, make America busty again. Yeah.

I feel like everyone would get behind that. I did a stream a while ago where I did a presidential simulator. And that was sort of. What the hell is that? It's like a game where you get to be the president. Just make decisions or like walk around or you're just sitting at the desk. You're sitting at the desk. And then you can.

Yeah. So my two goals were my number one policy was make america busty again it was a the idea was that you could either go to college for free or you could not go to college for free and if you're a woman you can either you can get plastic surgery of your choosing instead of going to college so you get one or the other for free on the house and if you're a guy you can either go to college or you get a jet ski or an f-150 on the house oh i love that no one's not going to the f-150s in the south already are yeah and then my second thing was new canada and i nuked it yeah canada that's who you'd choose yeah i'd go for like finland or denmark somebody that couldn't fight back but wouldn't like if you knew canada some of that might blow over on us yeah i don't know i just

there was something about canada i was like you knew toronto i mean you're also nuking what buffalo somewhere around niagara falls at least i feel like canada tries to be shelbyville and make us springfield you know what i mean like i feel like they try to be the fancier town next door oh there are e Eagleton. There was just something about him that was begging to get nuked. Yeah. Eagleton? I get it.

From Parks and Rec? Pawnee, yeah. Eagleton and Pawnee. Yeah, the little pony. So you would nuke Finland? I'd have to nuke somebody, and I wouldn't want to be seen as being racist, because that gets you fired from here now. And I would probably, yeah, I would pick Finland or Denmark or something. Yeah. I see what you're saying. I mean, canada and i had canadians in my chat they were like yep we're we're due watch us out duke vancouver or if you knew vancouver then seattle's

getting it what about like russia although seattle would be okay um yeah i guess but they'd fight back see i want somebody can't fight back yeah Yeah, I tried. I couldn't. They were too powerful. Russia was? Cabinet was like, this is not a good idea. Australia. Oh. They'd do that. Yeah.

I feel like they've already been nuked, though. Really? Most of their continent. Just that little south strip that they stay on. I want to go to Australia, man. It seems really cool. I've always wanted to go there. You're never going to make it.

You would definitely be the dude in Fitzroy at the garage party pretending to be poor. Yeah, you would. I know the local Melbourne. It's such a rare dude. I don't even know what that means. You would be in Fitzroy. You don't know about Fitzroy?

No. Yeah, I'd do that. Yeah, you would. I hope an Australian is listening. I can confirm that you you would I hope an Australian is listening I can confirm that you would be a Fitzroy dude

what is a Fitzroy dude what is that yeah dog come on it's like a gentrified poor area of Melbourne

I think oh yeah that's me yeah moving into Fitzroy from the Gold Coast

fuck bro did you see Ed Sheeran just bought a house in Brooklyn or a fucking apartment Moving into Fitzroy from the Gold Coast. Fuck, bro. Did you see Ed Sheeran just bought a house in Brooklyn? Or a fucking apartment in Brooklyn? A penthouse? Why? I don't know. Why not? I don't know.

I buy in New York a lot. Yeah. 3,200 square feet. People say he's like one of the most talented live performers ever. I think that's definitely true. Yeah. He's fucking sick. Have you seen him?

No. That scene of him in the bar where he's like singing some like 90s Jamaican song or some shit. I've seen that. TJ, do you mind trying to find this? Just because it is extremely high vibrations of a clip. Ed Sheeran around a pool table, and they're singing like, Yeah, yeah. Do you know what song I'm talking about, Brandon?

Is it just like a spontaneous thing? Everybody in the bar is like singing it, and he like knows every word, and he's like hitting his pool shots. No Games? Is it? Serrani? Well, it sounds like it. Is that what I sung? Yeah. No Games? Serrani? Well, it sounds like it. Is that what I saw?

Yeah. No games by Serrani. Yep, no games. No games. That room is way too bright to be that drunk. Oh, yeah. That room is way too bright to be that drunk. I wonder where this is. Where is it?

I mean, obviously it's in England. It's probably at his pub that he owns. Oh, shit. Birmingham. Birmingham, yeah. All those pool balls were either yellow or red. Oh, he's at Brum. That's Snooker.

That's Snooker, buddy. I don't know what that is. It's a bigger pool table. Snooker here. I don't know how to explain it. Oh, shit. The watch on Donnie. How are you? Hello, hello.

What's up, Donnie? Back from the Himalayas. How are you? No big deal. Good to see you, brother. Regalus of your journeys, friends. You've been to many lands, seen many places, been in choppers. Been in a lot of choppers.

Yeah, bro, that's scary, bro. Is choppers that fucking in thin air? I love choppers now. I don't know. I'm a huge chopper guy. Apparently, yeah, so I didn't think helicopters could actually work that high up but some dude in 2005 landed a helicopter on the peak of mount everest what what isn't that insane on the tippy top or the the edge on the tippy top just like booped it just to do yeah he landed for

three minutes and then oh shit then he took off huh yeah so you were there for how long almost three weeks you got there was it immediately right to work um ending or you got to chill no we had about like four days and okay that man do how was that that was great um that was when i tried nepalese mad honey oh that's when you did yes but this was like the viral thing from like the vice video they get high on it? Yeah, there was a Vice video and then someone went on Joe Rogan and brought some. So like

I know Joe's tried it but he's always done it in small amounts I guess because I did not have a great experience. You said you took the recommended like one tablespoon and you took like three. Yeah. You took too much. Yeah, I took two and I didn't feel anything for an hour. So I was like, I'll take three.

And then it all just hit me. What was the sensation? It was like being bathed in icy hot where you just feel like warm and cold and then fuzzy. So at first it felt kind of cool. And it kind of felt like, you know, when your leg falls asleep. It's kind of like that and it kind of felt like you know when your leg falls asleep it's kind of like that throughout your whole body yeah uh yeah then yeah it started to get worse and then i just like puked for four or five hours oh my god jesus is there a drug that is comparable to no but it's called hallucinogenic honey a lot of people call it that so i was like oh it's going to be like shrooms

um and was very excited about that but it was nothing like shrooms I don't know maybe in small amounts maybe it's like taking a painkiller that sounds awesome did the other did the other people you're with have a good time on it um no there was one other person who took it and like he didn't puke he only had like one and a half or two teaspoons but yeah he just kind of had that same like tingling sensations throughout his body i brought some back to the office um put it on the wheel yeah yeah put it on the wheel i wasn't knocked up it should be on the wheel because if you just take one teaspoon you'll be be fine. What was the city or the nightlife in Kathmandu? It was fun.

I went to a club one night, Lord of the Drinks. And yeah, they get after it. I also got to party up at the base camp one day. They celebrate a holiday called Pooja Day. Pooja Day? And it's when you bless all your gear before you trek to the summit. And so you're kind of like blessing the mountain gods. And it's the one day all the Sherpas have off. So they were all drinking a bunch of beer, sipping rum. How high up is the base camp?

17,500 feet. Is that where the Irish pub is? The Irish pub was at maybe 15,000 feet. They have fucking mules bringing the beer up. Donkeys, yeah. Sick. Donkeys with a keg on each side of the saddle. What the hell?

Is there an Irishman running it? No. Oh, so it's not authentic. It was not an Irishman. You can't get a good Guinness out there. What's Michelangelo's vibe when you're on these trips with him? What's he kind of running around like? How's it been with him?

He handled himself well. I know prior to the trip, Blattman came up to me and he was like, so I hear you're planning on going with Michelangelo. Do you really think he can do this trek? And he was not the only person who said that to me. He's in better shape than you. He seems like such a down-for-anything guy. He's in good shape.

No, yeah, I think they were worried just because he's known to— Culture shock. No, no, not the culture shock. Known to seize. No, I was just going to say he's known to consume a lot of weed. Oh. Yeah. That sounds perfect

for this trip. Yes. Was it grueling? Like, physically hard? It wasn't super grueling. It's more just the altitude.

So, we did have two people in our group had to be sent back to Kathmandu because they just were not handling the altitude well at all.

That's a W. You love it when that happens. Yeah. When you make it and you succeed. Is it hard for you? Exactly. It doesn't feel hard. What were the effects of the altitude? Is it like going to Denver but on a 3X scale,

or was it something we've never seen or heard before? Yeah, like when you're falling asleep, you're used to just your normal breathing, but your normal breathing isn't getting the body enough oxygen. So like, as you're falling asleep, you'll like wake back up, like almost like sleep apnea or something. When you guys were drinking up there too, was it, were you like, Oh, I'm drunk super quick? Um, yeah, at first I was being very careful. Like the most I would have would be one beer a day. And then like after a few days, I was like, oh, I'm handling this pretty well. Slowly started drinking more and more.

But you just have to drink a lot of water if you're having beers. Because dehydration, like water is the one thing that can cure altitude sickness. And you met, I mean, it was like, it's tons of tours. Like everybody's going, like how many people were at base camp, like getting ready to do this? A lot of the tourists who sign up for the trek, they only, they get to hike to base camp, but once they arrive, they can only stay for like a half hour and then they have to go back down.

But when I got to the camp, there was probably 300 people all living there, 300, 400. And all those people were planning on climbing Everest. These are people from like all over the world? Yes, all over the world. So you ran into like a pro athlete's wife? Oh, yeah. Who was that? Nicole Kovalchuk.

Kovalchuk's wife. She was just like, I just want to do this? Yeah. I'll be damned. She's trying to do the seven summits. That's when you climb the tallest mountain on all the continents. Yeah. Can you do like Kilimanjaro?

I would love to do Kilimanjaro. People do that? Yeah, a lot of people. That's a much more doable hike. Okay. Is there ones that aren't doable? I mean, they're all doable. People have done them.

But Kilimanjaro is one of the easier ones, I think. And it's still not a cakewalk. But you can climb Kilimanjaro in a week, where if you want to climb Mount Everest, it can take like 50 days. But K2 is not Kilimanjaro. That's what I was thinking of. Yeah, K2 is near Everest. It's the second highest, but technically, from what I heard, is more difficult than Everest. Yeah, and I met this little Taiwanese girl who had climbed K2 without using oxygen,

and then she was up at the base camp because now she's going to try to climb Mount Everest. Little Taiwanese. They should be umpires in the MLB. Why? Because they're so discerning? So disciplined and focused. Yeah, there were a lot of, like, tiny girls up there. Taiwanese girls.

We're climbing Everest. I think when your body is smaller, you just don't need as much. What are Nepalese dudes? Like, are they little impish whippersnappers or no? Yeah, they are on the shorter side. What are they, whippersnappers? I saw one of their shirts. Are they whippersnappers?

Are they ruggers? Rascals? They're rascals. I knew it. How did you know that? I figured. They rage, for sure. Nims runs a very tight ship yeah but he's the man he takes his job very seriously and you can tell everyone's like oh my god it's nims yeah yeah

it's like a super famous he's like one of the most famous climbers probably yes and he was made even more famous by this documentary that came out what like last year or two years ago, where he does... He did the 14 tallest mountains in the world in seven months. Seven months. So he did, like, the documentary is crazy. What is it called? 14 Peaks. 14 Peaks. And he also just does, he's like one of those people

who just jumps off the mountain with the squirrel suit, you know? Like, he's one of those, like, extreme adventure... Craves death. Yeah. Like the dude who landed that helicopter. Yeah. You don't go landed that helicopter. Yeah. You don't go up in the helicopter being the only person who's ever done it, being like, I might live, I might die.

You're like, I'll probably die doing this. Right. Probably die. Yeah. Nims has a very hard job because people pay him a lot of money because they're like, I want to climb Mount Everest. And then it's his responsibility to get them to the peak. There's probably some people who have no business being there,

like the super rich business guy who's like, I just want to fucking do it. I met a lot of people up there that had tons of mountaineering experience, but then there were some people who just had the money and were like, this would be really cool to do. Yeah, I'll go climb Everest. Yeah. Yeah.

There was this singer from Mumbai who was there. She was trying to climb one of the smaller mountains, Lobuche, and ended up having to head back down the mountain like halfway up. Yeah. But. Fail. Fail. Interesting.

Fail. She made a valiant effort. You know know all these people are paying his company so much money so they have to at least try to get them up yeah yeah the sherpas do is incredible yeah all the sherpas are the most insane athletes i've ever seen athletes well yeah just the fact they write can they wrestle i think could they could they pin kyle I mean, the fact they can just put so much on their back, and then they have this little rope that attaches to their head, and then they just walk directly

up a mountain. And they set the ropes for everyone else. They bring oxygen tanks. They go up and down it like three or four times just to pave a way for people to go. It's insane. And also, physiologically, their bodies, since they grew up there, they're legitimately built different.

What's their big sport? Mountaineering. I've never seen them in the Olympics. Yeah, it could just be mountaineering. NIMS, I guess, is the most famous person in Nepal or something like that. What would be the sport that they would thrive the most at?

If we could start plucking them and putting them in the NBA or some shit like that, would be the sport that they would like thrive the most at like if we could start plucking them and like putting them in the nba or some shit like that like would that would that play like what are they baseball players are they powerlifting judo maybe wrestling wrestling i think they have zero olympic medals ever like horse really but let's see horse riding right like that's a big no? Maybe not. No. Fool. Oh, yeah. Why would horse riding be a good idea? No, I'm going to get canceled. You know all the Nepalese ride horses around.

I asked you when you got back what your favorite and least favorite foods that you ate were. Oh, yeah. So, momos, which are Nepalese dumplings. Sometimes they're, like, fried and tossed in a chili sauce. Goons. Incredible. Nepalese goons. Yeah. in a chili sauce. Goons. Incredible. Nepalese goons. Yeah, Nepalese goons.

Love the momos. And then there was a lot of yaks. There were a lot of yaks. Like I feel like the trip should have been sponsored by the yak because I got a lot of solid yak content. Like eating the yaks or like not hanging out on them? So the yaks would like help carry things up and down the mountain. And then I also tried some yak meat.

That was on the menu a lot. Oh, wow. Oh, yep. Look at them go. It's a cool animal. It did all the work for you, and then you killed them. That is high up. There's Brandon.

We just got plain-ass cows, and they got yaks. I know. Yaks are sick. Wow. They probably... It was very hard to find beef there. They pretty much only eat... It's right there.

Buffalo or yak. I guess their meat is not called beef. Was that edge a drop off? If you fell, you would die? There were a lot of edges like that fuck that is there any other wildlife besides the cattle animals yeah they have bears and stuff or not they got the mountain sheep right the goats yep they do have snow leopards uh apparently in some parts of the country they have tigers but not in the himalayas The only one I can know of is the snow leopard in the Himalayas,

which apparently is like the hardest animal to photograph. They got them goats that will stand on them ant sledges, right? Yeah, that climb up sideways. The Appaloosa mule. Well, that's a mule. The Appaloosa mule. Goats are really good at climbing trees, actually. Goats are good climbers.

Goats are good animals. Were there birds? My best friends are goats. There were birds. There were like these crows. I don't know. There were a lot of these black birds, even up at the base camp. Probably good pickings for them, all the garbage and shit that gets left by that.

Yeah. Yeah. Probably a smart place to be a bird. Do you guys ever want to climb a mountain? No. Yes. Yeah, that sounds fun. I would pick an easy one with a great view.

Il Majara? No, I'm thinking like whatever's in upstate New York. Okay. Washington maybe? That might be too high. Like when you were climbing, were you on just two feet all the time or were you ever on fucking four four limbs uh i was on two feet but once you go past base camp that's when you like you got to use the crampons um and you actually have to like tie yourself into lines

and stuff so you don't just fall off a cliff how high high did you go? Fall into a crevice. 17,500 feet. That was base camp? Yes. You went past base camp? No, I did not. When you got there, did you have a little itch to go further? Yeah, yeah, I did. Was part of you saying, I think I did.

It was pretty pricey. I mean, Stella Blue was willing to cover my helicopter back to Kathmandu, but I don't think they had the funds to fund me climbing all the way up the mountain. I think some funds just opened up. Yes, the funds opened up. How much would someone pay NIMS to go to the top? $200,000. Yeah, I think it can range from like 80 to, to maybe 200 K or something. It's wild.

The mountain I wanted to climb was just 6,200 meters. And that would have been another 6K a person. Yeah. I don't know. Sweet. Yeah. Get some pictures off. But I guess it's hard.

I was talking to this one dude. He used to be a boxer in the UK. He climbed that mountain. Said it was the hardest thing he has ever done jesus christ yeah fuck that enough what was the sleeping conditions like um so you stay at these tea houses uh which have beds and blankets so i didn't have to actually use a sleeping bag until we arrived at base camp and we were they have like the VIP tents, which are like a dome. They have a nice bed in there, a bureau.

And then I was just in one of the normal tents. So it's pretty much just a box tent and then a little mattress on the ground. And then I would just get in my sleeping bag. I actually slept well up at base camp, but Michelangelo was getting maybe two hours of sleep a night. He probably wasn't getting a nut off. He was not getting a lot of nuts off. The altitude probably makes you a little more aroused.

Was there people like banging up there? Was there rumors going? I've heard that base camp is like the Olympic Village. Yeah, I've heard there's camp is like the Olympic Village. I've heard there's... Because you might die, so why not? Yeah, I've heard there's a lot of fucking... It's like I might die tomorrow going up, so... Someone told Michelangelo there was going to be a handjob parlor up at the top.

I knew he was itching to get a nut off the whole time. He was very upset when... They told him in what context? The handjob parlor? I think they were just trying to get his hopes up. That sounds off. More inviting than like a rub and tug, a parlor.

Yeah. No, I was shocked. Like up at camp, it was probably 50% female, 50% male and a lot of pretty good looking woman. Yeah. My,

my eyes did not wander, but of course not. wander But Of course not No Of course not What's the fiance saying When you're doing shit like that Um I don't know if she was

I Like she got upset Cause like I posted a photo With another girl And I saw that She thought I was flirting But um

I just meant about you being away Yeah Um Uh was flirting but um i just meant about you being away yeah um uh it's hard for on a relationship travel like that yes now i do think it it kind of helps to like say if i travel for two weeks every two months you know it's a nice like reset for us. And you, you know, if you're just with your wife every minute of the day. Cooped up with a wife. Yeah. Like over COVID.

I think that's just not healthy for anyone. Over COVID, there's a lot of people. They just had to like work with their wife, like in the same room every day. And like, I think that was hard for a lot of people. Like you need a little bit of space. So you went to Nepal. Yeah. She's got another Nepal. Yeah. She got another bedroom.

Yeah. But no, I had like solid service most of the time there, so I could still stay in touch with her. You did the dozen. Yeah, that was before I started the trek. Still though, doing the dozen from Nepal was fucking crazy.

It was like no glitches. No. Wi-Fi was not bad. You was like no glitches. No. Wi-Fi was not bad. You're closer to the satellite. Yeah. Right. You're right on top of it. Right up there.

No, I tried to be very safe and responsible. You know, except for the mad honey. Yeah. That's a try. You just try it. You know, it's local. Yeah. And it's legal. That's why I brought it back. Yeah. That's a try. You just try it. You know, it's local. Yeah. And it's legal.

That's why I brought it back. Yeah. What the fuck? I do think that should go on the wheel. Did you go to the cliff where they're climbing and getting it, or you just bought some? No, no. I just bought some. Damn, bro.

This has me. All this talk has me hungry for some Outback. Yeah. Well, you're in luck, buddy. You want some, Donnie? You want some Outback? Yeah. I would love to have some of that Bloomin' Onion. Is that what I see?

Not so much any of this. Oh. There's a gang of it out there. But this blue drink, too, man. This blue drink is, well, it's all part of the great barrier eats limited time menu at the Outback Steakhouse. That was a blue drink? Look at it.

Watch this. Oh, that looks awesome. I don't know if that's... You don't think... No, you definitely can. You think... You think that they put like Drano in that? Come on, bro.

It's Outback. They're looking out for you. It's going to be delicious. This Outback drink went viral on Barstool the other day. Oh, no. What? That's cool. And you can just do that at Outback Steakhouse?

Yep. That's cool. And you can just do that at Outback Steakhouse? Yep. That's crazy. Well, the new flavors explore the best of the land and the sea, and the meal started just $16.99. You don't want to miss these combos, including the Tasmanian shrimp and lobster pasta, the prime rib and shrimp combo, and that Tim Tam brownie cake.

Yum. Yum. Outback Steakhouse even topped the famous Bloomin' Onion with Aussie Cheese Fries. And I am so ready to climb that mountain of Bloomin' Cheesiness. That's my K2, okay? My Everest. They've also introduced the Mac Daddy of Steak and Mate Combos. The new sirloin and lobster mac and cheese combo comes with a 6-ounce sirloin,

lobster mac and cheese, and a choice of two sides-ounce sirloin, lobster mac and cheese, and a choice of two sides, and it starts at just $16.99. Check out the new Great Barrier Eats menu at your local Outback Steakhouse or order for delivery at Outback.com. But, yeah, get you some, Donnie. Load up, man. I'll say it, too. Best honey mustard in the game.

Is that true? I poured the entire thing on my thing. I know people hate when I eat in Load up, man. I'll say it too. Best honey mustard in the game. Is that true? I poured the entire thing on my thing. I know people hate when I eat in the mic, but it's that good. Were you allowed to try one of the shark drinks? Of course, Donnie. You can try anything you want, brother. You're worldly. If you're going to try the

honey, you might as well try the shark drink. Outback gave me a bunch of sharks to take home for my son in the tub. Did you take them? Yeah, no, they've been a hit. Helped me get them in there. There it is. Let's go.

Oh, this is awesome. Is that supposed to be human blood or the shark's own blood? Oh, yeah. I'll tell you in a second. I don't know. What are they alluding to there what's the allegorical

reference that they have there what type of blood are we talking it's refreshing looks delicious yeah look how it separates there that's fucking

a beautiful looking drink and you just can take the shark with you we have to eat the shark take it home you take it home though yeah. You take it home, though? Yeah. Well, Outback is looking out heavily.

There's lobster galore. Very good. Oh, my gosh. It's nice. Yeah. You think it's supposed to be the shark blood or human blood? I think it's supposed to be seal's blood. A third option.

Yeah. That makes sense. That's actually the most humane of all the options. Divorce with Heidi Klum. Damn, I forgot they got divorced. That shit's heartbreaking.

Actually, did they? Yes. They did. They're still friends, I think. Nah, they're not. Who is she married to? To you.

Heidi Klum, yeah. Doesn't she have a, does she have a kid with someone else? Probably. I don't know. Adult,. Heidi Klum, yeah. Does she have a kid with someone else? Probably. I don't know. Adult model daughter or something like that? Heidi Klum does?

Heidi Klum has a now adult model daughter. Don't be weird. I think she's white, though. She's an adult. It's a white girl. She's like that Tik Toker. She's doing well.. She's an adult. Yeah, it's a white girl. She's like that TikToker. She's doing well. Free whatever.

Doing good. 19 now. Now. Now. It's Livvy and Brecky. Livvy and Brecky. She's only good. No, I don't.

I have not. I don't know who Livvy is. I don't. TikToker, Livvy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen her. And I've seen Brecky. Yeah. I've seen her work.'ve seen brecky yeah i've seen her work yeah that's not weird quality good at what she does so wanton where's

next bro where's that wanderlust gonna take you next caribbean for a cruise stopping at dubrovnik oh wow across the mediterranean said Caribbean? Yeah. Yes. Mediterranean. Yeah. That is not happening. That would have been the most, that would have been the biggest boondoggle in Barstool sports history. Yeah. What would have?

Our rediscovering America trip was a luxury cruise to the top destinations in the world. Yes. We were just going to be sent on two cruises and the way they approached us is like it was a done deal they were like yeah you're just going to be on these two mediterranean cruises in july that's how you rediscover america yes going to like malorca abiza Dubrovnik, Athens, the tour. And then, yeah, they had to cut their budget, and we were the first thing to go.

That makes sense. It does make sense. I was, like, shocked they were. Gang of sense, yeah. Yeah. The cruise line, not Barstool. We're fine. Yes, yeah.

It was the cruise line that was cutting their budget. You probably wouldn't even be able to go anyway, though. Yeah, that's very true. You're struggling. Yeah. I'm playing phone tag with these people. Still trying to get it. Why?

Just in case you have to go to the next coronation? I don't even know. I'm trying to see if I can still get the expedited one, even though I don't have an upcoming business trip anymore. Well, you never know. The next coronation will be quicker than the last one. I don't think we'll wait 70 years again. You don't think? I remember Nick told me he was like, Barstool's going to send me

to the coronation right after the Queen died. He did have a lot of time. But then it was cancelled. Oh, it was? You have to have a proof of an upcoming trip to get this expedited

service okay you didn't have your ticket or what motherfucker 74 he is yeah he but here's a prince at 73 yeah old ass man um little boys will do anything to not grow up dude just be a man you know yeah bringing a prince is way better, though. Than being king? Yeah. We haven't had a king in a long time. Yeah, but being the king is... I feel like being the prince rules. What kings have we even had in our lifetime?

King Hussein of Jordan? LeBron James. He's a sultan, I think. Which one? Hussein? There was definitely a King Hussein. Yeah, yeah. King Hussein. Jordan, yeah.

King James. King James. But who in our lifetime, though? There hasn't been many. Is there a king of Sweden or some shit like that? Yeah. Who are the kings right now? I actually have no idea.

How many countries have kings? I don't know. I thought it was New York and Fox. Let's see. Sabonis. Sabonis. Does Japan still have an emperor? No.

What's that second name? Harold. Harold V. King Harold? Where's Harold the king of? Eswatini. Not one of them hot. King Felipe.

One of them. King Felipee Thailand Oh yes The Thai king is insane He's like the most flamboyant guy ever The entire country Is like very embarrassed of him Search the Thai king

There's like a There's like a photo of him just wearing a Sports bra Oh wait I've seen that He's like a photo of him just wearing a sports bra oh wait i've seen that he was a lady boy yeah he's like well on his way now i can't i forget if he was like the prince or the king but no i think he i think he's the king now yeah thai king crop top search that hell yeah and then it's him there's dudes from an austin rock in that look Hell yeah. That's him? There's dudes from Austin rocking that look. Yeah. Yeah, that one.

That's their king. That's their king? That's your king? This is your king? Oh, look at him getting on the airplane like that. No, apparently he's like a huge liability for the whole country. He's an ass crack hanging out. Is that his baby?

From fake tattoos and crop tops to making a poodle Air Force chief, the king of Thailand's maddest moments revealed holy shit this guy he's doing whatever the fuck he wants forced to kneel before portrait of thai king after posting disrespectful comments online god i wish that's the dream. Fake tattoo sleeve? Well, I mean, he doesn't know if he's going to want it. If he wants it, no. I mean, that's how kings should live. Look at those sandals.

Yeah, that's whatever they want. Kings fucked up everything. Is that poodle wearing a tie? Absolute power corrupting the fuck out of them. Love that. Kings of royalty royalty they get off they do get off insane fits like the most nuts fits in every direction so much bedazzling king john yeah he's always wearing some crazy shit they're bold i heard that uh weed's legal in thailand now yeah that is true which is wild they because they used to try to chop people's hands off and throw you in jail for 20 years.

Is that a tourism move since tourism's so big there and they knew? No, because they have this gay king. Yeah, yeah. They got this sassy gay king. They're trying to distract everybody. We stan a gay king. Where did they do the caning? Was that Thailand or Taiwan? That's funny as hell. Where did they do the caning? Was that Thailand or Taiwan?

That's funny as hell Where did they do the caning? Was that Thailand? They would cane you? I feel like that's still Taiwan is umbrella What does that mean? Caning

It just smacks on with a cane? Yeah back in the 90s That was a big scandal We had an American over there That got in trouble And they caned his ass Right there's like a photo of it They were like caning this dude in the streets It was like one of the time greatest photos that was a big scandal. We had an American over there that got in trouble, and they caned his ass. Right. There's like a photo of it. They whipped him with a cane.

They were like caning this dude in the streets. It was like one of the time greatest photos of this guy. It was Thailand. Oh, shit. It was like in 94. His name was Michael something, but I don't remember. It was a big story in the news. Do we go get him, or do we let him cane him?

I think like the photographer stopped him. That's not like an aluminum bat. It hurts pretty bad, though. Sure. What did he do? Was he like a drunken public tourist? I think he did some shit like that. Or vandalism or something.

Maybe he supported democracy or something. Tearing their country up. Some silly shit like that. You know what? Maybe that was Singapore. It was Singapore. Yeah. It was Singapore.

Very nice, Donnie. Yes. Good. Good boy. Do you have the picture up or what? The Philippines don't fuck around either. Why don't you say maybe when you were looking at it on your phone? He was trying not to seem too know-it-all.

No, it was. But I'm trying to figure out why he was caned. It was Singapore. I think it was for chewing gum. My name's Michael Case for chewing gum. Oh, yeah. That's what I heard about Singapore. You can't chew gum.

Yeah, Singapore is wild. Why? They've got crazy rules. It's obnoxious and annoying and kind of gross. You were just eating a steak with your hands. These motherfuckers just don't care. I know. Buzzards.

His name is Michael Caine, bro. One of the guys I was climbing the mountain with, he was a professional gambler from Mongolia who lives in Singapore, and he makes all of his money playing back rap. Have you ever played back rap? We met one yesterday. Oh, yeah. Makes his one yesterday. Oh, yeah. Makes his living gambling.

Oh, yes. Didn't know that was a thing that a lot of people could do. Well, he said he won like $1.7 million U.S. dollars. Is that like a game of chance or skill? It's a card game. So I think it's similar to blackjack. So maybe there's a little bit of skill. I mean, Stu Feiner, he makes a living.

In order to make a living, though, you have to win so much that you make enough to nearly salary. Sports gambling, it would be very hard. It should be a hobby. It should be a hobby. Yeah. Stu doesn't make money. I make his big money gambling. He makes fun as fuck.

Selling his picks. Okay. Billy's got his dog here. Oh, look at it go. Big ass dog. That's a big dog. Definitely distractible. I'll bring his dog here. Oh, look at it go. Big ass dog. That's a big dog. Definitely distractible. I'll bring it in here.

Oh, he looks so friendly. Last time that dog was here, it took the biggest shit that's ever been taken out of it. Yeah. I hope it comes in here and shits. Oh, I want it to come in here. You look the most kingly, I think, of anybody. You have like a king vibe. You look like an assassinated king. yeah very assassinatable yeah you got a franz ferdinand vibe yeah yeah but you look like

you fucking invaded someone for something petty like they didn't stand at attention high enough yeah or they they like sent you a gift and it was cashews and they weren't salted yeah and then you're like that's bullshit fuck this's bullshit. What the hell is this? You suck their tongue. This land is my land. Prussia? Yeah, no, you're getting wiped off the map. Yeah.

Like the last duel. Is the llama chilling or what's up with him after the tongue suck? Ollie? Yeah, I think he's just chilling. A lot of people caped for him. They said it's not the type of dude he is. We saw him suck a tongue. Wait, what? Who? Why would he get off We saw him suck a tongue. Wait, what?

Who? Why would he get off his leg? Dalai Lama. Oh, the tongue suck. Yeah, the tongue suck. Why would he expose his fetishes in front of all those people? Yeah. I think you get old.

He's probably just brain damaged. He's probably just coming out a little quicker. He's also, yeah, he's old as fuck. He's probably just losing it. He's got power. He also is powerful. You become powerful, you wind up sucking a tongue in public. What's his face?

The super famous guy, Gandhi. He used to like... Yeah. I'm not going to say it out loud, but... Why? He used to make kids lay in bed naked with him. He used to sleep with them, but quite literally. Yes.

To show how, like, look, I'm not going to do anything. I could easily fuck this kid. Yeah, like, just weird shit like that. That's kind of impressive, though. I'm a pedophile. The willpower that would take. Tell him I didn't fuck you, right? Tell them.

That's like an extreme sport. You know I didn't fuck you. Dude, ask anybody. Ask the kid who was naked in my bed. It wasn't even hard. Tell them. Tell them. Ask the kid who was naked in my bed. It wasn't even hard. Tell them. Tell them. What the hell?

I always wonder, like, guys like that, like the Pope or the Dalai Lama, like, what are their hobbies? Do they, like, play Tetris? Yeah. Do they, like, online shopping? Yeah, dude, have they ever been on Amazon? You know the Pope shops. Like, this, his style is crazy.

Yeah. The Pope liked an Instagram model's photo do you recall yes was that fake or real so it was real but i don't know if it was someone working for the pope or if it was actually the pope but i still follow that girl on instagram so shout out the pope that's a that's a lifetime achievement award to get that like. Oh, yeah. She was like, I guess I'm going to heaven. That's what she said. Yeah, I mean. God damn.

She was dumb thick. Oh, that's what he likes? I think so. What nationality was she? She was Italian-Brazilian or something like that. If it's the girl I'm thinking of,

we're not bringing her up. Really? She's an enemy. Can't pull her up to you? She's an enemy of the company. She's an enemy of Barstool? Oh, no. She's been involved.

Can he come in? Is it American? No, her name's like Nagata or something. Come here, dog. That's not who I'm thinking of. Okay. Don't let him eat all our food.

Rachel Bush? Oh, yeah, Natagata. She used to play Call of Duty with Smitty and Glenny. Really? Yeah. Okay, and then they had a falling out? No, I was thinking of a different girl. Okay.

That I think faked getting her post liked by the public. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That I think faked getting her post liked by the Pope. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. When I was a kid, I had, I may have brought this up before, but when I was a kid, I had this, not like, it was like a goal or a fantasy, but I always just like thought, I was like, it'd be really cool to become the Pope and your whole life, like work to become the Pope. And then once you become the pope, you're just like,

yeah, no, I'm not with this, and just lie. And then what are they going to do to you? If you just quit? Be the longest con praying for the whole time. Your goal as a kid was to become the pope and then shit on the entire institution? Yes. I wonder if anyone has ever done that, if anyone has ever pulled the trifecta of winning the Super Bowl,

becoming president, and then being pope. Yeah. I won probably then being Pope. Yeah. I won probably way back then. Probably back in the day when there was less teams in the NFL. Bart Starr did it. She was very thick. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Great butt. Okay, Pope. It's kind of like dated fantasy. So he's posting reels and stuff. Wow. Oh, yeah. He's posting reels and stuff. Wow. Oh yeah, he's got reels? He's like,

if I just post, if I post nine times a day, I'll get the interaction to get more. That's actually not that many followers for a Pope. No, it's not.

Seven million? I feel like he would have more. People with hundreds of millions. Messy. That's insane. Dalai Lama only has

2.1 mil. Yikes. Who's the most followed religious leader? Probably joel osteen's ass probably all of those whatever the televangelists are crazy famous well sorry did you see the big like men's conference they just had in missouri at the mega church and they came out on the tanks with all the guns on top and all the whatever and it was like this like multi-million dollar production with all the top mega pastors and I'm like that's tax-free yeah and all that cool shit how do you like move to the midwest and become a like maybe I just start selling smoke machines to local churches or something I feel like

hot market for yeah That world is... Wild. I went down a deep dive on it the other day. I went spiraling into the mega pastor thing again. That's nutty. They get money. Yes, they do. They're the best panhandlers in the world. They're just asking people for money and people are like,

alright. Their stage design is insane too. It's like Tomorrowland and coachella that's what i'm talking about like lighting is like jesus yeah it's insane the production value on this like megachurch thing was like hollywood level like they had a real tank combusting out into the altar with like it was crazy it's because god loves them the most true because god favors them he's put the most favor on their life it's true more. More money, more problems though, Brandon, right? Yeah.

You think Creflo Dollar's going through it right now? I think Kenneth Copeland's up against it, yeah. Or Bastards. Is Kirk Franklin a pastor or he just cranks out hits? I think he's both. I think he's a pastor who cranks out hits. He just made a career ad-libbing. He doesn't even sing his own songs.

What type of music? He's like the best-selling gospel singer of all time. Gospel rock, rap? Like classic gospel, gospel choir, and he kind of like, bright a day! He kind of goes over the top of it and ad-libs the shit. Lecrae is the gospel.

Remember when Funkmaster Flex debuted Otis? It was a 22-minute debut because he kept DJ scratching starting it over starting it over he told people to rob convenience stores oh yeah stick your hand in the tip jar with the cash register I used that song in a reel on the very same day

that Kanye West came out and was like Hitler wasn't a bad guy it's tough timing but I mean we still use Michael Jackson's music. Yeah. Despite all the things he did. I mean, he was probably just pulling a Dalai Lama or whatever,

laying with the kids naked to prove his... Prove his innocence. That's really the only way to prove you're not a pedophile. Is to lay down with a naked child. Have any of you done that yet? Lay with child. Yeah. Still out...

The jury's still out on the rest of us. Right. The motherfucker who impersonated her got murdered in New York. I saw that. The homeless one? Yeah. yeah still out the jury's still out on the rest of us right the motherfucker impersonator got murdered in New York I saw that homeless one

yeah he was impersonating homeless people no Michael yeah impersonating a homeless Michael Jackson impersonator

it was too close to home damn they killed him yeah 30 years young oh 6 million ways to die, bro. Choose one. I've been watching these TikToks of simulated battles

where it's like 100,000 T-Rex against like 10,000 ostriches or some shit. I saw that one yesterday. Does it look pretty accurate? You ever watch those? I mean, they do a good job. Some of them get a little bit fantastical, though. I tried to do that. I got that program because I wanted to do it.

I can't believe there's a program. That's cool. Yeah. You better have a supercomputer. My shit almost exploded. Really? Yeah. The 10,000 T-Rexes versus 10,000 ostriches, you got to have a real deal set up.

Like, what type of view? It's very computer simulated, but, like, here you go. In what way would the 10,000... Oh, my God. 5,000 modern soldiers versus 250,000 Mongolian soldiers. Who will win? The moderns. It does scratch an itch.

Yeah, that is cool. Makes you... Oh, God. I would rather see, though, like, what would happen with one polar bear versus one tiger. Yeah, I would like to do a smaller scale. That's what the Roman emperors wanted to do. I saw one where it was one Thanos versus 10,000 Mother Teresas.

And the one Thanos, it just obliterated the Mother Teresas. But I saw one Cleopatra against 10,000 ostriches or some shit. It was fucking sick. The Cleopatra, I guess, I didn't realize she had such good powers. I think Cleopatra What would the chickens even do?

Oh my goodness. The Jedi look like Oh! Eggs! This isn't that accurate. I like that sound. That's a slaughter though. Of the Jedi sound. It's going to be a slaughter, though. Of the Jedis. That's a lot of eggs.

Oddly very bleak. Are they all female? Go, girls. Get them. This battle would wage on for fucking hundreds of years. I follow these guys on TikTok that do ship simulations. They take famous big ships and then people suggest the size of waves

or weather or whatever and they take however long. It's like realistic showings of what it would take to sink an aircraft carrier or shit like that. Yeah, so I find myself watching it for... Simulations are the coolest. Yeah. It's so fun. You don't have to do anything anymore.

You can kind of just sim it. You can press enter. I can't believe there was a program on your presidential simulation where you could give big titties out to the world. That was one of the buttons you could press. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but there wasn't

a button to press. I kind of just said that. Rudy spent two years in the program coding it. You get to see animated titties from the game. I wish, yeah. So you didn't see any titties at all. You didn't give guys the option of having a free F-150 or going to college? Or a jet ski.

What's a higher MSRP? Got to be the F-150, right? F-150, yeah, for sure. What does MSRP mean? Yeah, manufacturer suggested retail price. Got it. I did not? Yeah. Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price. Got it. I did not know that. Nailed it.

I've always wondered that. Nailed that bitch. There's really no luxury jet ski. There's only so much you could do. You're going to piss some people off. Not a lot, but some. Pardon me. Well, what can you...

A jet ski is kind of a jet ski. I mean, are there... Like cup holders? Are there $100,000 jet skis in the world? Yes. Oh, yeah, probably. Two-seaters with like... Or the ones that go underwater.

Like a submarine. You've ceased being a jet ski at that point. Yeah, I don't know. There's got to be high-end jet skis. What's the world's most expensive jet ski? I can see it being like... Because it has diamonds on it or something, but not... Right.

Not a real functional... Not like an RV. This part comes out and you can have a whole... Like when there would be the... Downstairs to the jet ski? Yeah. A bath? Yeah. Like in the Guinness Book of World Records, whenever it would be like most expensive bra.

Just like diamonds. It was just a ton of diamonds and it was a way that they sold Guinness Books of Records to have that girl on the front. Look at this. Look at this nice ass. $900,000? I can't nice ass. $900,000? I can't see it. $900,000? No, you saw it exactly right.

Oh, God. $74.5? Does anyone actually take it? Like, is this a real thing that you can ride on? It looks like something a Bond villain would ride. It doesn't look real. The Supermarine. Ultimate impression of performance.

What is that? Oh, wow. Those heated seats. Oh, my God. What would be the functional benefit of having that i don't know i'm kind of sexually attracted this thing it's i'm not gonna lie i felt i felt something here it was bad to say out loud that was kind of cool yeah do you guys ever ride jet skis oh yeah oh yeah i wish more i wish i did it more ever almost never yeah it's that is one thing that you write you do it and then you're like,

I've probably done it five times in my life. I wish I had done it 50, 500. The F-150 you would ride every day. Every day. It's a practical ride, too. And you get that tax write-off if it weighs enough. It lasts forever. But a jet ski is really like you might get more joy out of it,

raw joy over the life of the. A good afternoon on a jet ski is among the most joyous afternoons you can have. My Aunt Peg in Wildwood has two jet skis, and one time we were out and the dolphins were playing with us. Jumping alongside you? It was one of the most euphoric experiences. It's a core memory. It was a core memory.

Brandon, what do you do? Do you just do it alone or with a group? I used to go out with one of my boys. There would be three or four of us. I, like, watered it down, the experience, a little bit. A little bit, yeah. It was never my jet ski, so I was always along for the ride. We had one guy in the friend group that would have a jet ski.

Let's do it. You were holding on to him? No, well, not necessarily. We would go to a sandbar and take turns getting on it yeah kb me and you rode one in front of uh like an old factory in lake erie yeah yeah forgot about waves were fucking big that was really yeah way too big you know you can do that out in the river right here yeah yeah you can will smith did it um we put that on my wheel? Not the wheel, but on my wheel.

Everybody, we all go on a jet ski tour on the Hudson. When I was at the World Cup, I rode in Aqua Ride, and it's just like a car jet ski. So it looks like a car, but it's actually a jet ski. But you drive it like a car, so it has the pedal and a wheel. That was sweet. That's awesome. I think I was trying to convince him to like send one to the u.s where and i was like i'll just ride it up and down the east river with your drive to work in the morning like logo on it and then like

i wonder if you need probably get license sales yeah can do you do you need to like you need a boat license for a jet no right because i've ridden jet ski i've driven oh no you definitely don't need it maybe a motorcycle's license yeah probably a boat license for a jet ski? No, right? Because I've ridden jet ski. I've driven jet skis. Oh, no, you definitely don't need it. Maybe a motorcycle's license. Yeah, probably a motorcycle license. You have to be careful, though. Sean Kingston almost killed himself on a jet ski. That's right.

He got really fucked up. Wait, was that after his career started? He had already done Beautiful Girls. It was at the height of it. Yeah. I think his career's been... Yeah, it was a bridge. You know he was 16

When he started his career So he was like 20 By the time the jet ski shit happened Like he was still young We started out young We had a run Him and Derulo Yeah

They had 07 And a choke hold 07 yeah Jason Derulo Driving me crazy Such a good song Am I the beautiful Girls

That's why it will never work They got me suicidal Suicidal I just do it for Zah Nothing fires up Zah Does that fire you I love Sean Kixson I just do it for Zal, dude. Nothing fires up Zal. Does that fire you? I love Showcase. Let me fire you.

Zal, rank these dishes. Okay. Oxtail. Uh-huh. Pig trotters. Ooh. Curry goat. Ooh, that's one of my tweets.

So here's the thing. That's the top three, so it depends on my mood. Those are the top three? Yeah. So I was thinking probably pig trotters won that day. Pig trotters are usually always won. Then oxtail two, and then go three, right? That's what I said?

Okay. No, you didn't. Those are two separate tweets. Oh. Yeah, but that's why. Where does one get pig trotter? Is a pig trotter just pig's feet? Yeah.

Yeah. So African joints have it. Dominican joints. Dominicans do it joints have it. Dominican joints. Dominicans do it a different way than we do. That's so far the only. Chinese do it sometimes. Ooh, I got to try that. I've never had the Chinese version.

But I've had the Dominican way and now Southern African way. Damn. I'm probably missing out on so much good food. There's probably so much. Like Lomo Saltado was eye-opening to me. Go to the ghettos. Yeah. Facts.

Delicious. Every culture has found a way to make food taste good. Yeah. They work so hard on it. Front ways, too, yeah. Yeah. Is there a country that has unanimously agreed upon being the worst culinary country? People shit on Ireland pretty hard.

But I went to Ireland and the food was good. It was good. Yeah, I've been a few times. Probably one of the worst culinary country. People shit on Ireland pretty hard. But I went to Ireland and the food was good. It was good. Yeah, I've been a few times. Probably one of the Scandinavians. Yeah. I went to Norway for a wedding and it was very traditional Norwegian. It was good.

It's super seafood heavy. And they have huge crustaceans. I don't like that. Huge crustaceans. I'm not like that. Huge crustaceans. I'm not in. And they do, I can't remember the name of it. They have this one, it's sort of like sardines. It's like a canned fish, and it's like a challenge people do.

You open it, and it's like an A-bomb. We've done it. Yeah, I think actually Vib's had that. It was the worst odor I've ever experienced. Cracked it open, and then the whole office could smell it. That's their best shit? People had to go outside. Fuck with it there, yeah.

It's like fermented shark or something like that. Yes, that's what it is, yeah. We did the stinky tofu down in... Stinky tofu, yes. I was hungover. They could afford to get Finland out of here. Yeah, maybe we should. Yeah, Finland?

Who would miss it? I'm trying to think what they have going on up there. There's like a huge conspiracy online that Finland doesn't exist. And then after we nuke them, we can say you are finished. Lapland, where the reindeers are.

Yeah, but if you had to get rid of one Scandinavian country, it would be Finland for sure. Yeah, Finland. Let's go after Finland, guys. be Finland for sure. Yeah, Finland. Let's go after Finland, guys. I'm with that. What do they do for us?

Wasn't Trump just like, can we just buy Greenland since nobody's hanging out there? Didn't he try and buy? Yeah, he was. Should have just done that. Wouldn't it be the worst investment? Because I think maybe in like 80 years. Put the servers up there. You know what I mean? Keep the servers cool.

Right. I would think in 100 years, Greenland's going to be a much nicer place. Oh, yeah. A beer at Bahamas. They said Philadelphia was the swamp when they found it. Now it's cold in the wintertime. You know what I love? Tequila.

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Did it right. Yeah. It did a good job. That shit is absolutely delicious. So where are you going next, Donnie? My next travel trip is going to be a short one. Sydney Wells has invited me on a barstool outdoor shoot where we're going to go spearfishing in the Bahamas. Oh.

That's awesome. It'll be my first time working with her. I am pumped. I want to do something with her. I want to go just a local Missouri bass fishing tournament or something like that. She would take you for sure. I did spearfish once before, but that was for spiny lobsters.

It's the most fun I've had doing something outside my life um but this time it was so much fun and why because they're easy to kill or what uh they weren't super easy to kill there was one time when i found one in like a sunken bus that was maybe 10 feet underwater and then i shot it but i kind of missed so then i had to like rustle it out with my hands while like my lungs were screaming like just go up just go up but um i need to kill this i needed that lobster i feel like that's like a childhood dream though like when you're like pretending and it's like you're on you're in a lagoon with a fucking spear gun

like actually doing it it's a gun or you're throwing this wasn't like a gun it's like um it's a spear and it's got this elastic thing on it and so you pull back the elastic and then hold the spear here and then it's so it's kind of like locked and then when you see the lobster you let go and it shoots um it shoots forward like three feet uh but this time we're going to be going for fish so i assume that would be harder than a spiny lobster. Fish have this nice instinct to stay alive. Lobsters, do you just pick them up? Well, it's, they're

very sharp because they're spiny lobsters, so you had to wear gloves and then once you stab it, yeah, you grab it. It's still kind of fighting and bring it to the surface, throw it in the boat. Do you have to, like, take a claw off because of state laws um yeah well spiny lobsters don't really have claws those are new england ones but later we turned those spiny lobsters into spiny lobster rangoons and i think they were what are you talking about what spiny lobster

um i was talking about the first time I went spearfishing. It was like right when the pandemic hit. But the only reason I brought it up is because I'm going with Sidney Wells in like three weeks. Oh, damn. Bahamas. Bahamas? Yeah. Where are you about to stay, Atlantis?

We're staying on a boat. What the hell? Yeah. I'm pretty pumped. That's going to be fucking awesome. She was just in New Zealand, which is awesome. All of her trips have looked sweet. You filmed

something with her, right? Yeah. What are you guys doing? Chattanooga area. Okay. Not quite the Caribbean or New Zealand. I like Tennessee. Tennessee's nice. Have you guys seen the Everglades kid on TikTok? He goes barefoot.

Yes. Stepping. He's evolving. Oh, that was you. Yeah, he's evolving. You see what he's doing with alligators? Fish and Garrett, yeah. He is insane.

Wait, what's he doing now? Because he goes at night. Snakes, alligators galore. He'll step on the alligators. He'll shake the alligators. He'll do all kinds of stuff. The idea is when he's like, look at this, and he goes to the swamp, and you just see a thousand glowing alligators. Yeah. And he's like alone in the middle. Pick up a snake, and he'll bite him, and he'll be fine kinds of stuff. The craziest is when he's like look at this and he goes to the swamp and you just see a thousand glowing alligators

and he's like alone in the middle. Pick up a snake and he'll bite him and he'll be fine. We all agree like eventually he's going to get killed.

I think everyone thinks he's going to die soon. He's going to be like Good Will Hunting. They're just going to knock on his door to film TikToks one day and he'll be gone.

I think he's like revered by the animal kingdom and the Everglades. They respect him. Yeah. I think the Everglades swamp is to yeah i think the the everglade swamp is to me the most terrifying environment it's fascinating to me it's fascinating alligators coming right after me i don't think he knows who he's maybe he was raised by alligators

there's at least 50 of them right in front of me oh no you need to mind your manners, little fellow. My swamp stompers are not food. Bullfrog. Yoink. I'm sorry, little guy. Go free. I was flirting with this barred owl for over an hour.

I think she loves me. This big old swamp puppy's sleeping. Look at all those bugs, dude. I'm going to have to wake him up. No. Then the owl started going ballistic and woke him up. I love this guy. Yeah.

My favorite guy on TikTok. He needs a TV show. Oh, he's awake now and he's coming for me. But how could it even be better than this? It wouldn't be. And he's a big one. He's missing an eye. Jesus.

He's walking up to me all weird like a zombie. Now we're just playing hide and seek. Oh, shit. Listen to the stomps he makes when he walks through the swamp. He's a monster. He's not the friendliest one, that's for sure. Check out the colors on this beautiful corn snake. Nope.

Is that a poisonous snake? But I ended up getting him. Hey, guys, I'm in the Florida Evergreen. Red touches black. You're okay, Jack. Poison lack. I thought red touches black. Red touches black, you're okay, Jack. Poison lack. I thought red touches black. Red touches yellow kills a fellow.

Red touches black, poison lack. That's what I always heard. I thought it was you're okay, Jack, but it was red touching black. I don't know. Damn, that guy's fucking nuts. How does he know that the gators aren't going to eat him? And how come he doesn't have a Cajun accent? Well, he's in Florida.

Why doesn't he have a Florida accent? There is none. I feel like I would trust his safety more if he have a Cajun accent? Well, he's in Florida. Why doesn't he have a Florida accent? There is none. I feel like I would trust his safety more if he had a Cajun accent. Yeah, you know, just a little bit. He's fine, he's fine, but not that accent. Look at his behavior. He knows exactly what he's doing. He's the dude who landed a helicopter on Everest.

I don't like the way he's looking at me. He is pretty handsome, though. We're taking a boat out here to a secret spot to look for these pythons. On the way, this swamp puppy just comes beelining right at me. What's a swamp puppy? Hey, buddy, what are you doing here? Well, we're finally here. This place is awesome.

Know the skunk ape's out here somewhere. What? The skunk ape. He looked for the skunk ape. He tried to find the skunk ape. That's a juicy cottonmouth. That's a poisonous snake. No!

Oh, what? Oh, no, no dude that's biblical levels of bugs what do we got here yoink just pick some all up native snake we have here they're so pretty yoink we got a salt marsh snake love these guys little guy was fast but not fast enough yoink it's a ribbon snake i got one more yoink for you guys he's treating it like a buffet snake. Love these guys. Little guy was fast, but not fast enough. Yoink. It's a ribbon snake. I got one more yoink for you guys. He's treating it like a buffet. Yoink. It's a scarlet snake, a non-venomous native species we have here in the Everglades. Jesus. That's

nuts. Yeah, no. Hard. Nope. I love that guy. That is nuts. I was thinking if I escaped prison. I spent my whole life escaping prison and then that's where I got out of the tunnel, and that's where I was. I'm going back to prison. I'm going back in the tunnel.

That's tough. Good for him, though. You know who else is crazy? Exterminators. Guys who are like, there's a fucking possum in here. Let me fucking ace this shit to see which direction it went.

Those dudes are fucking nuts I never want to go underneath a patio I never want to go in a crawl space I never nope but if that shit

is easy for you that might be a cool or fun job like if you don't mind that stuff like it might be sweet to like just be like

I'm gonna fucking wrestle me a fucking I had a friend in Ohio who was an exterminator for a while and he always had great stories like people have like super wacky pets sometimes that they're like can you keep

this on the deal i lost this in my house can you can you help me find this rare snake i'm not supposed to have can you help me find a sweet job title yeah exterminator i'd like to see more lady exterminators there's got to be some on tikt Yeah. Oh, sure. Growing up in the Northeast, though, we don't have a lot of animals that can kill us. So I think I've just learned to not be too afraid of nature. But then once you leave the Northeast, there's a lot of things that can kill you. Yeah. So you shouldn't get too cocky. You can be in California, and then you'd see the signs.

You'd be way out there, and it'd be like, remember, there's cougars all over the place. Have you ever seen the videos of the mountain bikers going down the mountain, and the cougar takes him down? He's going so fucking fast. Yeah. But they said that's a real problem, people getting- That was my biggest fear as a kid in Colorado. My dad would bring me out to the woods constantly, because he loved mountain climbing and camping,

and I constantly was scared of being killed by a mountain lion mountain lion yeah i feel like it's gonna eat me your odds of winning are not high probably so i would say they're zero yeah yeah i would say that they're absolutely zero the only thing i was ever fearful of was rattlesnakes and mountain lions yeah and bears kind of bears are kind of docile. Hey, bear. Bears ain't too much going to fuck with you, though. I saw a crazy TikTok of this girl snowboarder, almost to the point where I thought it might be fake and I might look like an idiot now, but she was snowboarding on this mountain.

She had her headphones on. It was fake, right? It had to have been. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, I think it was fake. It was definitely fake, and you still think it's real, maybe. You guys ever seen an iguana in the wild?

Oh, thank you so much no terrifying where'd you see one they're actually very terrifying what do you mean oh no well not the ones that i saw so much it was on uh we're in mexico like two uh months ago and maybe like this big and like a bunch of them and they're like walking months ago, and maybe like this big, and like a bunch of them. And they're like walking on the resort and stuff like that. Every time I saw one, I would just run. They're not scary at all. They're tame as fuck. Did they bite?

They were just like kind of around, but any time I saw one, I was out. All they do is bask. Yeah, pretty much. But they're just gross. And they would run away from you if you ran up on them. No, some of them came came kind of up to you. But if you bucked at them, they would have their little funny-ass run. Or you'd throw them a peanut or something or whatever.

Too gross. That's like Hawaii and the giant cockroaches. I know they don't hurt you, but no place can be perfect. Hawaii has those? Yes. In people's houses. Jay cancels his vacations there. Oh, man.

I didn't know that. Cockroaches and the giant centipedes. That might be the worst thing. Cockroach? Centipede like this? I think those are the Hawaii's two big thing or the giant. Oh, when I lived in Texas, my girlfriend come visit me when I was playing hockey there. And she was staying.

The family I was living with, they had a separate house like a mile down the road and they were kind of strict so they made her stay there and uh she called me one morning she's like you got to come over there's a lot of where i lived in texas it was north texas there was a lot of bugs tarantulas shit like that scorpions scorpions and um she called me she's like you got to come over right now there's this bug in here i can't handle it now it's just like are you kidding me This thing is going to be like an ant. It's going to be nothing. This is a waste of my time.

I get there, and this centipede, I shit you not, was like two fingers thick and this big. Yeah, it's not. It's going to be poisonous too, right? I was talking shit on the way there, like you're being a little girl. You had to do it. And I had to handle it. Did you do it? I grabbed a paper towel and grabbed it, and it was the most petrifying thing in my life.

It was wiggling all over the place. I would have had to kill it. I couldn't grab it. I was even scared to even kill it. I ran outside and just threw it outside. It probably just went right back in. It was horrible. I hate centipedes, dude.

My older brother killed one of those, and then both sides of it just ran away. No. He didn't kill it. The opposite. He doubled it. He reproduced that. I can't even do, like, there's so many hot goth chicks that have centipede tattoos and I don't even know. You know more than

one. Multiple. I can't even fuck them. I can't even do it. Can't do it. It's, uh, I can't stand cent him. I can't even do it. Can't do it. It's, I can't stand centipedes, dude. And King Kong really had a bad impact, too.

Oh, my God. That scene is maybe the most terrifying scene of all time. Can we talk about Shady Rays for a second? Yeah, let's talk about

Shady Rays. Please. I'm in the mood. Yeah, can we please just talk about Shady Rays? Hold on. I'm back. I can be here talk about Shady? Hold on. I'm back. I can be here during a Shady Rays ad.

You're here. You're right there, brother. You okay? Did y'all not just see just now he had me covered up? The chair was empty. I think that's just a fig leaf of your imagination, bro. I don't really think it's. No, you're fine.

Why, you don't see yourself? TJ. All right. Well, there I am, clearly. fine. Why, you don't see yourself? TJ. All right. Well, there I am, clearly. Exactly. All right. Whoa. That's cool.

Just in case. Yeah. This shit's genius. It is. You know what else is genius? Shady rays. Shady rays. Specifically, they're lost and broken protection,

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The shades rated five stars by over 250,000 people. That's code YAK50 for 50% off two or more pairs at ShadyRays.com. Yeah. Yeah. What you guys been watching? at ShadyRays.com Yep. Yep. What you guys been watching? What you been binging? Yellow Jackets. A dozen.

That shit, the second season sucks. I tried watching the second season and it sucked. I just can't, dude. I can't. I can't.

I don't like it. I mean, I first heard about it and I was like, I'm not watching a show about girls. High school girls soccer team. It sounds like it sucks, but I don't. I don't like it. I mean, when I first heard about it, I was like, I'm not watching a show about girls. High school girls soccer team. It sounds like it sucks, but I love the first season. First season was crack.

I liked the first season a lot, but the second season, only cocaine. Not quite crack. What else have I been watching? The new show on HBO, Love and Death or something like that? About the affair? Yeah. Yeah, I saw the trailer for that. Three episodes in.

That's very good. Yeah. Shows. Basketball. Basketball. Enderpump Rules. Sports. Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Crazy Hockey. I watched the game last night. My diagnosis is 76ers started out great. Too many fancy passing. And I feel like Harden and Embiid were better than the rest of the team. And they were getting frustrated at the rest of the guys. And they were doing fancy stuff. PJ and Nyang weren't taking their threes.

Yeah. I saw, turned it on, saw Celtics had the NSYNC in the game. Knew it was a wrap. What do you think? Yeah, you saw all the whites that they had out there? I saw like five white guys. That was it. What nationality do you think Nyang is?

Is he not Asian? But the name. That name is Chinese or Taiwanese. Gotta be right. What is he, Turkish? I have no idea. It's French. He is Senegalese-American.

Niang? How do you say it in French with a French accent? Nyon? Georges Nyon? Niang. How do you say it in French with a French accent? Niang? Georges Niang? Georges. I don't fucking know, dude. Do you speak any French? No.

Just the fucking happy birthday song in the fucking... Out and up to like eight. What's the happy birthday song? Bon anniversaire, Rudy. Oh, God. It's a fucking beautiful language. I didn't like that. I mean, that sounded gross, but it soundedaire, Rudy. Oh, God. That's a fucking beautiful language. I didn't like that. I mean, that sounded gross, but it sounded painful, though.

That's how the fucking French do it. Rudy, his name is impossible to say in French. A bad name. Ron, what did you dub your favorite holiday song in 2017? My name's a hero. Little Drummer Boy? No. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time?

No. Red Nose Reindeer? Yeah. Definitely not that. More of a hero. Little drummer boy? No. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time? No. Red-nosed reindeer? Yeah. Definitely not that. It's more of a jingle. Oh, oh, the key of December to Remember. I don't remember it. It's an incredible fucking song. Sticks in your craw. And just as appropriate for the season. Have we done that motherfucking wheel yet?

Let's do it. It's getting down to the nitty gritty, this wheel. Should we put Mad Honey on the wheel this time? Yeah, why not? Yeah, put it on. Or does it come on the next reset? No, no, no. If you put it on, you only have to take a small amount.

So it won't be like, it's not going to ruin your day. Microdose. Hey. All right. Bingo. Bingo. He did it bad. That shit will reset.

That one didn't work. A lot of dries back up on that bitch. Dry, dry, dry. Who wound up getting wet yesterday? One of the interns. Aryeh? Aryeh, yeah.

Took one for the team. Took it for the team or it was his turn to do it? Did he take it for someone else? He had to do it. No, he had to do it. No, he had to do it. I just didn't know if he stepped up for someone else that was going to do it. He got real wet.

He really did. He went all in. He committed. You know he's locked in because he had the long brim hat on the other day. Yeah. Yeah, he got really, really wet. Kate felt bad. I did.

I felt very bad. Red forehead. Honey? Are we putting honey on? Mad honey? Mad honey? If it hits me, I get to choose who gets the mad honey. I do that.

I think you're good to take it. Yeah, yeah, you're good to take it. No, no, that was the only thing he said. He says it's not for kids below the age of 15 or pregnant woman. Oh, darn. Yeah. Those were the only rules. 15-year-olds are good, though.

Yes. No, he was very adamant about that, so it might just be horrible for fetuses. There's only one way to find out, I guess. Someone kill gay Pat for me. Get your hands out of the fucking chicken, you bastard. He's only one way to find out, I guess. Someone kill gay Pat for me. Get your hands out of the fucking chicken, you bastard. He's waiting on me. Drive. I'm going to do the rundown with him.

You do? All right. Let's wrap it up. All right, let's wrap it up. We'll see you tomorrow for more of The Yak, some of everybody's favorite show on the internet. Yep. We'll see you next time.