The Yak - Steven's Birthday Turns Into an INTENSE Cupcake Shootout | The Yak 2-3-23

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello. D1APB. What was that? What? D1APB. D1APB What was that? What? D1APB D1APB What's that mean?

A day one Apple banana poke Day one after poke banana poke Oh my god That's my new calendar Everything Fuck the What is it?

Greco-Roman Yeah, Julian Julian calendar Julian calendar It's just days that I lived new calendar everything fuck the what is it greco-roman what is it julian julian calendar calendar it's just days that i lived without knowing poke banana existed and everything after yeah i couldn't stop thinking about it i actually left yesterday's yak being like this was that was such a fun yak that was such a funny yeah we had calhoun mania didn't even get any of the the love it deserved that was its own extra yak. The other day, we would have given an hour to Calhoun Mania. Crazy.

Poke Banana. Poke Banana. And we, so I don't think we want to, you know, show the documents that we might have found. There was a bad word on there. Yeah, there was a bad word on one of the documents. We also found out Poke banana was 5-3. Wait, wait, wait. First off, what document are you talking about?

Somebody sent us docs. People found historical documents. The way they classified people and race then was different terms than we use now. Especially in Mississippi. They actually changed those documents in 95. So Poke Banana, when he was 27, how tall was he? 5'3", I think.

5'3 1⁄4". Was he wee? He was a wee man. He was 5'3", 115, right? 115, soaking wet. No middle name. Featherweight. Yeah.

He probably could box, though. That's not that. That's average size in the tens. In the tens? By the way, we have two other announcements today. Happy birthday, Stephen Che. Thank you. They don't stop.

They don't stop. Happy birthday, Che. And in honor of Stephen Che's birthday, Kyle's present got in. All right. Yes. Happy birthday, Che. Look at that Happy birthday Stephen Che

Oh my god It's awesome Manute Manute Manute Put that thing on Put it on Put that fucking thing on

That's sick Put that thing on And not over your I want to see your arms Alright Oh tag off No resale Let's go

No we ain't giving that shit back That's how you know he loves it. Yeah. Did you see Brandon found out that Poke might not have been his name? What? Yeah. I don't want to hear that. It's short.

Someone said it's Pocahontas. Yeah, Pocahontas. That's the only thing that could be better. Pocahontas and you shorten it to Poke. And it was a bro named Pocahontas. Pocahontas is obviously a broad's name. That's a lady's name Pocahontas. Pocahontas is obviously a broad's name. That's a lady's name. No, that's a chick.

That's a chick's name. That looks so, oh, hell yeah. You look awesome. What's Pocahontas' who dicked her down? John Smith. John Smith. The most like,

used as a fake name. That's like. The most average name. Yeah, that's FBI agents. And he had to go find a Pocahontas because he was tired of the local whites. Whites. Never him, bro.

Enough white pussy. He had. And wasn't there more to the story? She didn't marry John Smith. She married somebody else. And I think they were also famous or something like that. They were also maybe an explorer or something. Really?

Yeah, I think that there was, I don't know. She might have had her way. She might have been a powerful woman like Cleopatra. I don't think she had her way. It came to anything. I think Smith kind of just claimed that. We should have said also, Penny's here. Oh, yeah.

He's in here chilling. Shout out, Penny. Penny's just been absolutely chilling. I don't think she even knows there's a broadcast going on. No, Penny's here. Oh, yeah. He's in here chilling. Shout out, Penny. Penny's just been absolutely chilling. I don't think she even knows there's a broadcast going on. No, dogs are stupid like that. She has no idea, dude. And she is a very smart dog, and she doesn't even know that we're broadcasting. She thinks we're just chilling and having a conversation.

How do you know she's smart? She hasn't eaten her own or anyone else's shit yet. And I feel like that's the only litmus test for dogs. If you eat poop, you can't be that smart. Yeah anyone else's shit yet. And I feel like that's the only litmus test for dogs. If you eat poop, you can't be that smart. There's still time. She has plenty of time to eat poop. Girl dogs are smart. Girl dogs are, yeah, pretty much better because they're not as horny in that way. Is that

Jersey Jerry or a different guy? Who is that guy? He's one of our new social guys on the sports book. Good beard Great beard Doesn't know how to use the door My first interaction with him was he was cheering loudly

For a touchdown that Fucked me over really bad And I was like yeah I didn't need that And he was just laughing in my face And I was like you know what Listen he made a bet, you made a bet. Whatever I made a bet, it's fine. The next day he came up to apologize.

He's like, I didn't even have a bet. I just liked that player. And I was like, I fucking hate your guts now. Kenny Galladay. He's just like, I just like Kenny Galladay. Nobody likes him. Who? What?

What's his last name? Is he a Galladay? I don't know. Yeah, he's not elated. Yeah, I was totally fine. Like, you have a bet, I have a bet. I lost, you won. And then he's like, yeah, I didn't even have money on it.

That's fucked up. Yeah. And because Kenny Galladay is like, even if you're a Giants fan, Giants fans hate him. Right. If you're a Lions fan, like, he left the Lions. He got overpaid. There's not a lot to like with Kenny Galladay. He must be a Galladay.

Didn't they used to call him Babytron because he was like the next Megatron? Baby. That's his own person. I know. In Detroit. I know that's a rapper in Detroit, but. Didn't they used to call him Babytron? Because he was like the next Megatron? That's his own person. I know. In Detroit. I know that's a rapper in Detroit. I'd be damned if that was the case. There's been a few Trons.

Cole Beasley was Magatron. Yeah, that's great. That one was good. That's hilarious. Who else? Was there another Tron? Someone tried to be a Tron. There was a few Trons.

There were. I'm going to ask the Calvin Johnson Megatron. Oh, Greg Zerline, Legatron. Legatron, there it is. I knew there was another Tron. That's how you know you're good, if people have spinoffs of your nickname. Yeah, you're such a badass. That's why when Allen Iverson was the answer, and then they calling Paul Pierce the truth It's like that was based on Allen Iverson

It was a the and a the But that was a popular type of nickname at that time The something Was anyone the question? That'd be kind of cool He had shoes called the question I wonder if someone was the question Is this guy good? We just don't know

His whole career He never plays I love the question. I love this fictional guy. Or the enigma. It just doesn't play. Yeah, we don't know if he's good or bad. Do you remember what NBA basketball player was the original Baby Jordan?

LeBron James. You'd be surprised. No, fuck. I remember the Jewish Jordan. I remember Jewish Jordan. Yeah, fuck. I remember the Jewish Jordan. I remember Jewish Jordan. Yeah, there was a Sports Illustrated. I think he committed to Maryland. Totally flamed out.

It was like a Jewish kid in the DMV area with orange hair. Fuck, baby Jordan. Give us a hint. He won a dunk contest. Isaiah Ryder? No. It was Harold Minor. Oh, yeah. There's been a lot of like Baby Jordans, Jewish Jordan.

Well, I guess there's only been one Jewish Jordan. Yeah, but there was the Muslim Jordan. There's all the other religions left. The Maple Jordan. Is that just Vince Carter? Oh, that was Andrew Wiggins. Did Baby Gronk call me out? What? Oh, that was Andrew Wiggins. Andrew Wiggins, yeah. Did Baby Gronk call me out? What?

Oh, the kid? He posted something on his Instagram, and someone tagged me in it, but I was busy, and I went to go look back at it, and it was deleted. Baby Gronk being the high school kid you're preying on his downfall. He's— Just to refresh for everyone at home. He's nine years old, I think. But you are— Preying on his downfall. You are preying on his downfall. Just to refresh for everyone at home. He's nine years old, I think. But you are.

Preying on his downfall. You are preying on his downfall. That's not what you were wrong about. His age. Did he call you out? No, I couldn't find it, but I know. He posted something and I saw Barstool in the text. Did he commit to Colorado already?

What is this? Wait, what? That's not how scholarships work. That is not how they work. It's not like a sweepstakes. That would be sick if it were. Do you think scholarships are like pieces of paper? I'm going to give you the scholarship, man.

Yeah. Take this. This Florida State video is so whack. Wait, so he posted it on Twitter. Called you out? Fuck, I don't know now. It might not even have been a call out. It might have been like, hey, respect.

Jack is the greatest NBA player ever? Oh, I don't like this hair either. All right, I'm with you, Kyle. I will also. Now answer the question. Are you praying for him to succeed or fail? Yeah, no, I'll be joining you in prayer before I go to bed tonight on his downfall. Wow.

I'm in. 100%. What are your grievances against him? I'll hear you out. It's his parents. Mm-hmm. But, I mean, that's just, and that is unfortunately him now. Yeah.

Because of his parents. He didn't cut his own hair. You know? Yeah. I think he called his parents. He didn't cut his own hair. You know? Yeah. I think he called his haircut. But what has he been doing? I forget how he got on your radar that he was like... He's been around for years.

Yeah? I guess literally, but what's he... What's he doing? He's pretending to be this renowned prodigy superstar who's bigger, stronger, better, so everybody's just going to catch up to him. More entertaining than his opponents. I actually don't know what he's doing.

I just know he exists. I mean, that's not great footwork. Is he a receiver? He used to post his highlights, and they were crazy. What the fuck is this? I can already tell. He doesn't have fast twitch. Well, he's also obsessed with being a celebrity. Like, you better be in the gym, bro.

Don't be on the beach unless you're doing some sand work. Oh, that was a nice route. Ball was late. Still made the catch. It was nice. There's this kid and then there's Lil' Tannehill, which is the same. Wait, what? You chose Tannehill?

Lil' Tannehill. Why would you do. Wait, what? You chose Tannehill? Lil' Tannehill. Why would you do Tannehill? Future of all, future Titan. But Tannehill wasn't of all. What? I mean, I kind of like that aspiration. It's realistic. Yeah.

No, it's not. No, it still isn't. But it's like. Not even a little bit. You're not. Oh, my God.. No, it still isn't. Not even a little bit. You're not. Oh, my God. He's doing the Joe Burrow. Oh, man.

Who am I going to make my son be? I know. We've got to claim a player. Future Joe Mixon? Yeah. Does he have to be a full Mixon? He's been in the news recently for being awesome. Okay.

What about Nixon? What about like- Oh, Lil' Nixon. Lil' Nixon. Milhouse Nixon. Okay. Yeah, Baby Hitler. Baby Hitler. Okay. What about Nixon? What about like... Oh, Lil' Nixon. Lil' Nixon. Milhouse Nixon. Okay. Yeah, Baby Hitler. Baby Hitler.

Listen, people would talk. You'd get followers. That's true. I certainly would. I certainly would. And that's what matters. It is what matters. That's what all this is for, right?

Just getting followers. Yeah. But there's also, I mean, I don't know how far we want to get down this road, but there's like people who I don't know how far we want to get down this road but there's like people who parents who like have like like child influencer accounts that they run

and make money off of and the only people that comment and follow the accounts are fucking grown men weirdos well and it's also there's like a weird it happens with dogs too people create the dog accounts and then other dog accounts are the only ones that comment, and they all are just doing it for, I think, free dog food?

I have an account for my cat, and he only follows Stoolie's pets, and we all talk to each other. Oh, man. But I'm not trying to get anything for free. I just enjoy seeing what everyone's dogs are up to. Okay. So you converse as Spork? Yes. No, I don't. I don't. But I like everyone's dogs are up to. Okay. So you converse as spork? Yes. No, I don't. I don't. But I like

everyone's stuff. I like to see. Like you give the dog or a cat a speech impediment? Yeah. I don't do that. People always love to do that. It's called eroticism. Never say like doggos or wolfos or anything like that. You might go, doggy. Hello.

That dog's got to be pissed off. I can talk just fine. Yeah, we should do Penny's voice. What is Penny'sgy. Hello. That dog's got to be pissed off. I can talk just fine. Yeah, we should do Penny's voice. What is Penny's voice? Hello. Hello, how is everything? I'm Penny, the girl dog. They keep calling me a chick, but I'm actually a male.

It's nice to meet you. I just have a real... My dick is so small, they think it's a clip. Look at that dog. That's so cute. That's a cute-ass dog. I don't even mind when they do it with pets. Try to get their pets famous. When it's kids.

You're just subjecting them to not a fan base, a following of thousands, millions of people. Like horny men. You know what's even creepier? Then they make Patreons for these little girls and stuff. The parents do. And then adults are paying for additional photos of them doing gymnastics and shit like that.

I know, it's crazy. And you know that kid, like Baby Tannehill, he's going to go to college. He's not going to be a professional athlete. He's not going to be a college football player. Because he's going to wind up at the same height as Poke Banana. Right. When he winds up as Poke Banana's dimensions

because his growth was stunning because his parents had him on a cycle of HGH and lifting weights when he was nine years old. I don't understand how any parent avoids psychologically damaging their child, but this seems overt. The most a parent should do is

snag their kid's future Twitter handle. Hopefully nobody else would swoop in it. Oh, no. That's so weird. So weird. Yeah. Damn it. Foiled again.

He should run it like he's your son. Yeah. Daddy went to work again. He should run it like he's your son. Yeah. Daddy went to work again. Daddy had to watch football. That would be his W. That would be his first W. Hot dogs again? Oh, fuck.

Steven, are we drinking for your birthday, though? What's good, bro? Let's have a couple brewskis. We should have a couple brewskis. Do you want to go to a couple brewskis? It's your birthday, big dog. We should do, instead of a case race, we should do a dizzy bat race. So it's a six pack, and you just have to drink three beers, teams of two,

and you just spin around and hit them with a wiffle ball bat or something. I don't know where we'd get a wiffle ball bat that we could turn into, I don't know. Or like a puzzle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something that we could do faster and that wouldn't get you shit-faced for a long period of time. Yeah, like three beers,

two people teams, and then what do we do? Family feud or something? Yeah, something like that. What's another game like Family? What's another game show show? Oh, Chet Pity? Million Dollar Pyramid? Something like...

Oh, yeah. Because isn't Million Dollar Pyramid, you pair up and you're like, oh, we're that... I think we need cards. It doesn't exist online or anything? That's me. Each?

Check it. Che, what kind of beer do you want? I'll just grab whatever we have in the fridge. Okay. Big deal. What can we do? Maybe the chat, give us some ideas of what we could do. It's a three beer race per teams of two, and then you got to gotta get dizzy and we do something.

Some kind of dizzy shit. I just want to get a light head buzz. Yeah, for like a half hour. When I was a sophomore in college, I went over to this dude's house and he didn't have a lot of weed, but he was like, instead of smoking a bunch of weed,

after I smoke, I just like hang my head really hard and like shake my head and it worked. Like 10 seconds. And then I guess I just got hang my head really hard and like shake my head. And it worked for like 10 seconds. And then I guess I just got myself dizzy. I don't know. We just wanted to get sick. We didn't care.

Fast track and like feeling bad. Get me to the nausea part. I'm not even worried about getting drunk. Just get me fucking nauseous. Get me feeling a little bit under the weather. Francis, buzz in the tower. Francis, want to buzzing the tower Do that Headbands game

That's on the phone Oh yeah That's Ellen DeGeneres' game I would do that That's fun Or kiss ball Oh we still owe people kiss ball What's that?

Get a ball Like a dodge ball. Teams of two. Throw it up in the air. Throw it in the air. How many times can you kiss before it lands? Yeah, yeah. There's a...

Did you see the video of the guy who was doing the most fist bumps in a minute or something like that? What? It'd be something like that. It'd be similar to that. Did I see that? Both of those people should have gotten the record, not just him, because that person was doing it back. I know.

Only one. But he was like a little rock-em-sock-em robot just bullying the shit up. But it would be like, it's very much like Kiss Ball. Which is also like Jax. It's exactly like Jax. I think Jax was created off of Kiss Ball. Yeah, it's a spinoff. Like Baby Tron.

Baby T-Roll. You guys care if I talk about football Kiss Ball. Yeah, it's a spinoff. Like Baby Tron. Baby TNL. Do you guys care if I talk about football real quick? Yeah, go for it. What would T. Higgins, they're going to trade him, they think. No. He wants in a ridiculous contract. Would you pay? Yes.

Okay, you think he could be a one? Yes. That's all I needed. I got that off my chest. I think he is a one, yes. I think the Steelers should trade for him. Would you trade 19 for him? Yes. Because at 19, don't you want to receive it? I trust the Steelers should trade for him. Would you trade 19 for him? Yes.

Because at 19, don't you want a receiver? I trust the Steelers. Cap space. Apparently what he wants is outrageous. Oh. Outrageous. Do they give any estimation of what that is? No. What would you say is outrageous for him?

$30 million a year? I don't know. I don't even know. That would be outrageous, yeah. Back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons? He's a one. Yeah. For sure.

He's going to be a bear? That would be dope. He's got Mike Evans yesterday. Yeah, I saw that. He's got many picks. It's insane. It's insane how that works. By the way, I think Roan and Max might be going to the Super Bowl.

Well-deserved. Here we go. I don't know if it's for sure yet, but we were talking about it last night. I'm looking up an idea in my head. We don't need to do an idea. No, I like the idea. What can we do to make Roan miserable? No, well, here it is.

It's actually very – I think it's very fair because I have a future on the Eagles to win a lot of money. So I think I'm going to buy Ronan Mack's tickets. And if the Chiefs win, they have to pay me back every dollar. Love it. And we can't just pay out of pocket. We have to do something like a car wash or a bake sale to raise the money. I love that. We have to just pay. We have to do something. The stakes just or a bake sale to like raise the money i love that yeah just pay

we have to do something just the stakes just get that much higher for everyone i think max should also be your surrogate like an arrested development so he has the camera and he speaks for you at the game yeah yes yes but yeah i mean imagine getting to see your team win a super bowl and not having to pay for super bowl tickets that would be pretty sweet I'd be happy to pay for them if the Eagles won. It'd be legendary. Yeah, because you're financially tied into that. Yeah. I've already spent almost all that money.

Rowan, what if you had the option? I have. I'm going to wind up being zero. Oh, yeah. It's going to be so quick. What if you had the option you could either, you'd have to pay Big Cat back, you'd get to choose if the Eagles won or if the Chiefs won?

Oh. What do you mean? What would you pick? Like, okay, if the Chiefs win, I have to pay Big Cat back. You'd get to choose if the Eagles won or if the Chiefs won. What do you mean? What would you pick? Like, okay, if the Chiefs win, I have to pay them back, or if the Eagles win, I have to pay them back. I think the Chiefs, because I think the Eagles are going to win. Okay. So I think if the Chiefs win, me paying them back would be.

But I am also leveraged, obviously not the same amount, but it could offset some of that. But I don't care. Okay. I want to be all the way in on the birds. It's so fucking real. Mm-hmm.

I just love the fucking birds, and we're all rooting for the Eagles, right? Yeah. Oh, man. We're all rooting for the Eagles. Come on, bro.

We're going to be down there probably hanging out with... We're all rooting for you. Yeah, I'm rooting for you. All of us What about Kate and Big Cat? Everybody will be in such a good mood Come on

Yeah I am Me and Sassby rooting real hard Come on KB For the vibes Yeah there we go It's for the vibes I don't think that That was so fake

Yeah I think we just got We got duped We got so duped by you You just agreed to get out of this conversation. I'm rooting for the Chiefs. Why? Oh, fuck. I know you probably are taking it personally, but it doesn't matter.

Why are you doing it? What's your reasoning? That's the team I want to see win. I hate that. Good reason. Damn it. Okay, you know what? Good counterpoint.

It does make sense, but why? It's fair. Totally fair. Because they just won. No, I'm rooting for the Eagles. Whoa. I'm trying to think why even. No, I don't like the Chiefs.

If it was the Bengals, I could see it. The greater area. I don't care for Mahomes. I think he's all right as a person. I'm not really into Kelsey. Yeah, why? I don't like his swagger. Yeah, changes from day to day

depending on his company. He's a code switcher. Yeah. You think so? I mean, listen to him talking to his brother on his podcast and then listen to him

talking to his teammates. They're black. Yeah, I guess he is. the super bowl that was my when he made the speech that was my gripe with the speech i went his super bowl uh after his super bowl the way he was the way he was talking they were like everyone was like this is better than or this is just as good as jason kelsey's speech i was like dude it's not it is not oh you mean the AFC Championship game speech? Oh, yeah. I like that, bro. Yeah, I'm rooting for the Eagles. Oh, look at that. Thank you, brother.

That means a lot to me, because I would have taken him personal. Are you locked in, or are you subject to change? Sounds like he's subject. No, I'm locked in. Whoa. Brandon's rooting for the Chiefs. I know that, because he thinks they're going to win. I don't think it's going to be, like Che said, a blowout.'t think it's going to be, like Che said, a blowout. I think it's going to be close.

Yeah, Che thinks it's going to be a blowout. That makes me nervous. I'll root for the Steelers all next year. Deal. Cool. I was already on. I'll root for Kenny Pickett his entire career. Deal. Jersey Jerry had dinner with them last night, right?

Some of them? Yeah. What a guy. Yeah, he's good friends with Kenny Showered at his house That shows That's what makes you become good friends It's very trusting

Because people can just piss and jerk off on your Shower floor Showered at Stu Feiner's house Did you Productive? Was that post-swim? It was post-swim. It was not the...

He has like a pool cabana, but not when I went in the house. Okay. That makes a difference. But there's something about... If you just go over to your friends, you're like, hey man, I'm pretty dirty. Can I just get in the shower real quick?

That is... That's true friendship. Yeah. Leaving your own house dirty to clean off at someone else's house is like leaving your own house with a shit in you to go poop at an away location. I still think using a friend's blanket to take a nap. That's a very. Or their bed.

I don't know about. I've never done that. I when my buddies used to come over before pmt we watched football on sundays and like i have a friend i think everyone has one of these friends who just gets notorious hangovers and he would always ask for a blanket and sleep on the couch really yeah i was like yeah sure i don't care it's nice of you yeah take a quick snooze some people won't give up their blankets or they're real weird about what they They'll give you the small one. Yeah, what do I get?

You know there's a drawer or something filled with bigger blankets. Yeah, there's a good blanket. No, in the house, and you have a blanket that doesn't even wrap around your whole box. I'm sick and tired of getting crocheted shit, too. Yeah. The hair pops out. Yeah, the little knitted ones. Fuck.

Oh, yeah, you went to war. You hate that. Yeah, those Afghans suck. You fought so that you'd never have to see one of those again. Those Afghans. Now they're everywhere. On the couch. Yeah, that is bullshit.

Those are definitely people who put blankets in their mouth or something like that. Oh, they're sucking corners. Yeah. They're sucking corners or some shit. Blanket suckers. You guys ever know one? Is that Linus? Yeah.

The big blanket sucker, right? I used to suck the silk. You did? Oh, man. Just the edge. I had this weird thing where I would take the edges of blankets

and I would scrunch them up and I would always scrunch them into my palms and I would scrunch blankets and stuff into my palms so much that I had little calluses on my palms.

Oh, fuck. I know. It was weird. Only probably in the last five years did I kind of stop doing it. You used to do it as an adult? Like I would, well, as an adult,

I would start to take my thumbs and I would do it. Just like compulsively. I don't know what that is, but for the longest time, it was the corners of blankets. Probably pretty strong. Yeah, that's a problem, Kate.

You probably could like climb the curtain at a high school play. Yeah. It's like a Ninja Warrior thing. Like sometimes they climb the curtain at a high school play. Yeah. It's like a Ninja Warrior thing. Sometimes they have to jump and hang onto a curtain. It was good to have those calluses. Yeah, it probably built up a nice hand strength. I just started doing it now because I was talking about it.

Here we go again. I like having a blanket against my mouth on the outside. Oh, no, no. Oh, no. What? That's the feeling of cloth on my mouth. My mouth makes me want to vomit. Like a cool blanket?

Like a very cool blanket? See, you're trying to make it more... Nah, you're not normalizing this. Y'all, damn, I never thought that that would have any opposition. Weird sleeper. Weird sleeper. Fuck, bro. Look at this.

Pennycam. Aw. She's sleeping. She's right in the crook. I was going gonna sleep anywhere Yeah she did not give a fuck bro She walked around the office once Pissed in the green screen room

Is she barking or asleep? Uh not yet That's the cutest thing ever It is Or she woke herself up I was like you're dreaming You're cool You're fucking

You're just dreaming Sounds like she's not very smart We're gonna have to do an IQ test. Yeah. We're going to have to do a 23andMe and IQ test, and she needs to learn how to do an obstacle course. That's two buses over the tower. Yeah.

I told him he could come in. What's he? Come in. Just come in, bro. Che eviscerated. Want to come in? He probably doesn't want to face Che. I invited him yesterday.

Yeah. Oh, me? Oh, guys, you want me in again? Two days in a row, huh? Yeah, dude, sit down. I invited you yesterday. I didn't want to make a point of that. Yeah, you didn't want to make a point of it.

You just kept on buzzing the tower. You're getting your steps in today. Point not to look at you guys. That makes it more obvious. As I was walking by, because, yes, of course I want to be on with you guys. Did you? I don't want to make it seem like I'm asking. Can we see?

Did you see Mincy's response video? Sure. You want to run? Did you see it? I didn't see it. Did you guys see it? I saw his video. Yeah, his video.

He came back at you hard. He did. No one has ever missed fruit hanging so low as what he missed in this video. Do they have it? This is just a video responding to a Viva La Stool tweet of some comments made by my former teammate of the Big Screamin' Honkers, Francis Ellis. We'll get the shirts out of the way. Francis called my blog the, quote, worst blog in the history of Barstool Sports.

Francis. Can you pause it? Pause it. Pause it. What would you think should come right now? Yeah, it's obvious. Francis called it the worst blog in the history of Barstool Sports. Well, Francis.

Remember when you made fun of the girl that got burned alive in her backyard? Yes. Yeah, that would have been good. It would have been tough to come back from that. How about the blog you wrote that got you fired? How about the blog you wrote that might have cost us some advertisers? You know what I mean? It's not you spiraling

and spiraling into a depression. Really? Really hurt. Made you irrelevant for years. How about that? But where does he choose to go with? I'm glad they taught you how to blog at Harvard

because they sure as hell didn't teach you how to play trivia. Oh, got you. Over eight years to graduate from Ole Miss. I'd be ten times better at trivia than you. You got, what, three or four questions right in four matches? Three?

And helped sink the season one dozen champion big screaming Hawkers, a once very proud franchise, and you're going to call me out about my blog on the way out after what you did to our team? Shameful. I love the points there. You're worse at trivia than I am, and I went to school longer. Yeah, then.

I love Ben Mintz. He's the best. I thought that was very funny. That's the thing, though. Mintz,zy never takes the road right in front of him he kind of he's on his witness

you never know yeah you never know where he's going he's on your toes that's awesome what have you you just got your dog's butt now look at her little face

look at it she's gotta be so comfy where do you see her nose Kate it's look in the crook of his arm it's upturned you can't see it on the camera

but little nose like straight up. You got to do the, like, when they lift the wrestler's arm. And steal champion? No, no, no. Let's see if they're knocked out. One.

Oh. Two. Kick out. She's zonked. I don't even know why she's so tired, bro. I just sent her over Slipped or something But that might Whatever

Honestly probably Probably for the best Cause She's been on Crack cocaine bro There's just so much Shit on this floor At this office

It's been It's disgusting Oh yeah Rachel why don't you Why don't you hang on To her for a little bit Sure I will Better on the street

Here hold this dog So what are we gonna do Steven What are we doing to do, Steven? What are we doing here? I have a side beer while we're... Also, do we have ads today? I'm going to take a piss. Oh, Jesus.

I have the perfect urine accent. Oh, God. Because I'm going to do the ad. I'm going to take a quick piss and then we'll start. Well, Che, if you have the ads, you do the ad. I'll have a side beer for Steven Che's birthday. You got a little nibble on you. I love this puppy.

She's so cute. I really like dogs. I do too. So cute. You know what? Today is my birthday. It's Friday. But you know what's this Sunday?

It's the Bush Light Clash at the Coliseum, which returns to LA this Sunday, February 5th, at 5 p.m. Pacific time. So that's 8 Eastern. More than 20 of the best NASCAR Cup Series drivers will compete in the quarter-mile track purpose-built in less than 50 days. Quarter-mile track, that feels very small.

I don't know anything about NASCAR, but that seems extremely dangerous. Cars are going like 200 miles an hour. Quarter-mile track, that's a track, right? It's just a running track. That sounds pretty like 200 miles an hour. 400 mile track. That's a track, right? That sounds... It's just a running track. That sounds pretty... It's exciting. It's exciting.

It sounds like... Luster. Again, not a NASCAR expert. That feels like that would amp up the excitement. That is a shorter track. Kicking off NASCAR's 75th season, The Clash features a pre-race concert by Cypress Hill and a race break performance from Wiz Khalifa.

Tune into The Clash this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, 2-5 at 8 o'clock Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific. I didn't know they did NASCAR in L.A. That's a fun little doozy. Yeah, it is a really fun doozy that they have going on there. I didn't realize they were a West Coast. Oh, they do Sonoma? They have like a big fancy wine country race.

Did you go to that last year? No, but I've been to a bunch of them. It is like a very ballyhooed little gala that they have out there at Sonoma. Everybody who went, who went? Like cons in KC? Large. Large. Yeah.

The fancy of folks. I remember the pictures from that. It looked incredible. Yeah. And I actually do want to attend a NASCAR race. Everyone that has gone says it's like the absolute best. They really are. They're super, super fun.

Yeah. You've been? I've been to a ton of them. I was going before Barstool. Oh, cool. Yeah. It's been trash. Yeah, I've been trash for quite some time.

Poconos. Poconos. I say that endearingly as someone who's also been to NASCAR races. Yeah. Yeah, Poconos is a great track. Yep. Right next to the track, you can ride ATVs, four-wheelers, and shit like that. There's courses and shit.

It's pretty long. Pete wrestled in a vat of barbecue sauce at Talladega. I did. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You lost, right? I lost immediately. Yeah.

My ass beat very quickly. Cheers, everybody. Happy Friday. Oops. Sorry. Thank you. This is delicious. This is delicious beer, Che.

Well done. I feel like this is going to break me. Why? I've been in shambles ever since the case race. Really? It's been a week. I have a daycare cold or something. Oh, really?

That just set me back big time. You seem better than you were yesterday, though. Maybe drinking will help. I don't know. It always does. It always does. Okay. Alright. Happy birthday,

Steven. Yeah, I guess I can. Do you want to? Sounds like you do. His eyeballs are moving. There was like 40 cupcakes. You ate the entire tray, Jay? Had one? I didn't get any to hand out and I said, you guys want to have some?

Had one? I didn't get any. Francis didn't even get any. I didn't take one yet either. Are they gone? I guess it is your birthday. It's your birthday. I'm sorry I forgot it's your birthday. They're all gone?

But mowing down an entire crate of cupcakes. Who fucking crushed those? He's got a tummy full of cupcakes. Oh, I like those ones. All right, so what are we going to do? Che, why don't you decide? Why don't you create a game? Let's create a truly Stephen Che experience.

Complete original. Yeah. From your brain. A combine or something like that. A combine or something. Something where we all have to drink three beers, and then something happens. Teams, non-teams, whatever.

I want it. Go in the lab. Go in your head. Find us a game. Okay. Give me two minutes, whatever. I want it. Go in the lab. Go in your head. Find us a game. Okay. Give me two minutes. Okay. He's got to go take a shit from all the cupcakes he ate. Oh my god!

I thought you guys took a round and then when I dropped off the beer I took them back I gave some to TJ and Zaha and then I hammered the rest. Oh yeah. I thought those were going to be like That was all day. That was all day. That was going to be a little nosh all day. Oh, they were all... You're going to crave. Sorry.

Shut up, my wife. Damn. Is your wife Melissa? No. She sent them to the office. Oh. That was very nice of her. That was nice of her.

I guess they were for you. Might have to order some more cupcakes. Now that we have a taste for them. I know. Ben is not here today. Should we get Chick-fil-A? Ooh. Watch Billy's Bakery. Billy's Bakery makes-A? Ooh. Watch Billy's Bakery.

Billy's Bakery makes really good cupcakes. Billy's Bakery? It's close to here. Find me somewhere that makes bad cupcakes. Well, you can find. There are some that are really elevated in New York. I want you to do a video series where you find the worst cupcake in the city. I mean, any place that just has a refrigerated case of baked goods in front, but is actually serving some other purpose primarily. Like any of those sort of diner type restaurants that are...

Their cheesecakes are pretty good though. I don't think so. No? I don't think so. They don't know what they are is their problem. Yeah. You need people to stay in their lane. Those diners have like every type of cuisine.

I think it used to be a necessity that they – that was the only place you could get baked goods like that. But now there are specialized cupcake places that are blowing them out of the water. I do think, though, the only way to ruin it is if they're stale or old. Yeah. The cake part needs to be moist. The cake part can't be grainy or fall apart like crumbs. It needs to be dense, moist, flavorful.

And never buy a cannoli if it's already filled. Is that true? That's a trash cannoli. I don't like cannolis. If a cannoli place has pre-filled cannolis in the front don't really for it you got to get your cannoli filled fresh otherwise they're soggy inside they're a real good place will fill the cannolis right there as you order them i would i have found i went to a place um on the upper east side that has they fill your donuts for you that's on the

spot yeah that's badass. It's just like a... How worth it? What do you want? Cream? Jelly? Good. Yeah.

It's kind of crazy. Just standing there with a fucking gun. There's that place on Lexington that still makes your Coca-Cola. What? Yeah. That's right. The old school...

Yeah. Bro, I used to know this Dominican dude when I lived in Bushwick that would cut the cocaine off the brick for you. No kidding. Just shave it right off the brick. Dude, I saw a viral TikTok. They brought it out to the table when they were like, say when? Leave it here.

Salt bae with a fucking brick of cocaine. Just fucking finish up whenever you want. Is she getting mischievous? I think she just wants you. What is Stephen Shea cooking up? Stephen, I've ordered more cupcakes for everyone. For your birthday. For everyone's birthday.

All right, I thought everyone kind of took some. No, no, you know what? Don't worry about it. It's fine, dude. I just got 15 cupcakes for the whole squad. Wow. I wonder how that happened. What?

What was the impetus for that? I was really hoping you would do exactly what you did, which is order more cupcakes. From Billy's? From Billy's Pacific. Yeah, I got Billy's. That's why I was like, you know who makes really good cupcakes, Big Cat?

You don't have to twist my heart. Before that, you were like, I didn't get one. And now we have 15 coming. Yeah, it's going to be great. They're big. They're big cupcakes. What if we all ate a certain amount and drank a certain amount? No, that would never work.

Oh, no. Please, God, no. Oh, no. Please, God, no. Please, no. KB, over the last calendar week, you've probably eaten more cupcakes than 99.999% of your beans. Yeah, how many did you end up eating? Not even a lot. Probably like seven.

Still a good amount. I feel like, yeah, that's a percentile. How many cupcakes do you think you eat in a year? No more than like three. Right. No, content Kim has fucked the game up where she just has cupcakes around her. True, true, true, true. She's skewing our

numbers. I just ate one she made like two days ago. Yeah. She's trying to get me fat. Tur. You know who she is? She's trying to get her daughter pregnant Yeah I find that a little heavy handed Oh

Walks sick and It's very overt Maybe the Graham can't jerk off directive Is coming from up top Oh Yeah Maybe it's coming from the CEO

Yeah I'm just saying that if my mom Were tweeting at me, you know, why haven't you given me a grandchild yet? I don't know if I'd want my mom on Twitter. You shouldn't have raised her so well. Quickest way to grandkids, have a piece of shit daughter. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's right. I think Alex Bennett is just trying to have some fun still. She's in New York. Enjoy her time. Living it up in New York. Yeah. Now that you can't live it up in New York. Yeah. Now that you can't live it up once you're pregnant, obviously, you're very drunk recently.

Yack's been my big outlet. Yeah, exactly. Just start a daily radio show. I deleted it, but after the last case race, out in the street when I was waiting for my cab, I saw it the next morning and deleted it immediately at like 5 in the morning. I did this long video about,

you know, as a new parent, it's hard to socialize and the yak guys are it, man. Oh, I like that. That's very sweet. You have it on your phone? I think I deleted it.

Did you put it on TikTok? It was pretty long. No, I put it on my Instagram. Sorry, but it was like over a minute long talking about how every new parent needs their yak. You know, you

need your space. Nothing wrong with that. I was up till like 2am last night doing TikToks that I was never planning on posting. Just like the filter of doing the movie bracket, which way you tilt your head. What a blast! Or like the...

I was talking like I was going to post it. The Green Mile's good. What a powerful performance by Uncle Clark Duncan. And then I'm talking like, running out of time, we gotta go quicker. No intention of posting.

It's kind of cool. There's one scene in that movie that has never left my brain. And it's kind of cool yeah really quick there's one scene in that movie that has never left my brain and it's where he is clutching the two dead girls oh yeah their heads i think have been they're smushed in it's yeah and he's like kneading their brains am i wrong about that it's graphic i don't really graphic it's a one-time watch movie for me. I've never seen it. Michael Clark, you know who he got married to?

Omarosa. I saw them once in La Jolla. Omarosa. In California, I saw them walking. Omarosa. Celebrity Apprentice right after that. Or right after he had died. She was going through it on the show.

She got hit by that ceiling panel in The Apprentice. Funny reality show clip. Really? I watched that. I think she was just walking down. I think she was just

walking and a ceiling panel fell and hit her in the head. That's hilarious. That is very funny. That's bad luck. Remind me of who Omarosa is. She's from The Apprentice.

She won The Apprentice and then she came back on Celebrity Apprentice. She's like a high-powered black woman. Oh. There you go. Did she get into politics?

Maybe like a little bit. A talking head on CNN or something like that. I feel like I've seen her. She may have. Is that her, is that one name? Yeah. Yeah, that's her first name. Okay.

Her mom was always on the news. She's not like a Brazilian forward. Como Rosa, comemora. Como Rosa. a Brazilian forward. Omarosa! Gunna bola! Omarosa! That's hilarious. I have a game. Okay. Wait, can we see Omarosa

getting hit with the tile? Yeah. Unless she... Oh, shit. Is it not true? Did I just make that up can't that's too specific

I'm very afraid I confused her with another no another one Candace Owens oh Candace Owens got it Oprah

did I just make that entire thing up oh no there has to be evidence of it small editor I did no I remember when it happened

I was like I'm gonna remember when it happened. I was like, I'm going to remember this. It was a while ago, so it wasn't something that's been like re-viral. Damn, Nick. I really want to see this clip. I know. You might have to get hit by a ceiling tile. Yeah. Is that part of the game?

I have the taste in my head, in my mouth. Add that to the game. Someone gets their head clobbered in with one of these ceiling tiles. All right, Steven. Unveil your birthday steven chase birthday game we have to like it we have to like it and everyone in the chat has to be have to like it you have to give him w's yeah it's steven chase birthday so i'll move the trash can so it's kind of equidistant okay and then once we read the second ad and the cupcakes are here then um everyone will have 60 seconds to finish one cupcake. And in the remaining time between the minute, you have as many shots as you can to get it into the prep sheet crumpled up or however you want it into the trash can. However many shots it takes is how many beers you have to have.

Oh, that's good. Damn. Okay. Okay. So does it all have to be one continuous minute, or can you eat the cupcake, pause with however many seconds left, and then the time starts? One continuous minute, so you can kind of eat the cupcake very fast.

So that's frenetic. I like that. And what if you don't hit it? Let's say if you take more than three shots. So you can do it in three shots, but if you can't get it in the trash can in more than three shots, you have to immediately have a... Or no, you're already going to have to have three beers.

Then you have to have another cupcake as a penalty. Damn. Doesn't there need to be some sort of penalty from a time standpoint? You're being timed in a minute. Oh, I see what you're saying. So yeah, if you can't finish it within a minute, then you get a cup. An extra cupcake. Yep.

Okay. I like it. So once the cupcakes get there and then we finish the second ad, so we don't... Now, should we all go individually? Oh, yeah. Definitely individually. And are you grabbing rebound? Yeah, you can grab your rebound.

So if you're sitting there, I'll move it so it's kind of equidistant from everyone. Yeah, put it right in the middle. You can get up. You can get up. So as long as you're somewhat close, you should be able to do it in two. Also, this trash can is longer than it is wide, so you should orient it such that it is fair for each participant.

Yeah, and if you get it on the first shot, you can give a beer to anyone. Wow. Oh, I love this, Steven. Good game. I'm going to set my personal limit at three due to my driving. Yes. Okay. Got a lot of Bs in the chat right now.

What's that? B for Che Did I even mention this? That I drank again? Oh yeah Oh yeah You're doing it right now? Hey KB

Welcome back You motherfucker You didn't drink for the case race Yeah I did right after it Yeah The day after you relapsed Dave and Buster's Damn it'll always be that way

Yeah Dave and Buster's got ya Dave and Buster's. Oh, damn. It'll always be that way. Yeah. Dave and Buster's got you. Dave and Buster's. Wait. This is the funnest place on earth. Dave and Buster's should just be the top bar. Yes. Yes.

It has two bars. It has a giant arcade where you can have fun. It has a lot of space. Why isn't that the top bar? The only thing it's missing is a buffet. I kind of think it sucks, dude. You think it sucks? Maybe it's because the Dave and Buster's

in Philly is terrible. Yeah, no, you got to go to a good one. Bad birthday parties. Bad birthday parties. It's like bad parking, bad service, bad games. That's not on Dave and Buster's. That's the city of Philadelphia. As a whole.

It's their fault. I'd like to know if anyone has ever figured out if there is actually an edge financially to trying to achieve some of their big prizes like an Xbox or a PlayStation via tickets as opposed to buying it outright. I think there are arcade guys. I think if you are a cheat code like them, then maybe, but for the most part, no.

Those guys grow up to be credit card points guys. Yeah. Same type of energy. What were you about to say, TJ? There's a couple YouTube videos of guys trying to figure out what games have the best return on investment. Nick mentioned it yesterday. The ball drop game is the only jackpot game that's like actually winnable every time oh wow they should make every city hall david busters yeah imagine that imagine philadelphia david

busters was city hall that would be so far it'd be so much better because it's a centralized location there's a history to it but you can also get people who don't give a fuck about history in the door right you get enough tickets you get like a one-on-one meeting with the mayor. Yeah. It's at the seaport, right? The Dave and Buster's in Philly? Yes. It's right on the river.

It's not the seaport, but yeah, it's definitely. Between Cavanaugh's and like Morgan's Pier kind of. That would be a great slogan for Dave and Buster's with KB. Come to Dave and Buster's or D&B, get your B back. Oh. Come relapse. Yeah. Thinking about falling off the wagon?

How was it getting back in the game? It was good in the sense that I didn't enjoy it all that much. Oh, that is good. But it still did the trick. It was like, now I can like. You did Sober January too, right? It became somewhat humid. Yeah.

Got a little damp. Oh, yeah. I tried, but, you know, some alcohol slipped in there. I don't get the point. If you don't have a problem, why do it? If you don't have a problem, you should drink. Yeah. I had a reason.

My wife got Lyme disease, I think I said this, and then had to go on these really heavy antibiotics, so she couldn't drink perfectly for the month of Januaryuary and i said i'll do it in solidarity yeah man it's bad i said that i don't know where i talked about this but lyme disease is like this crazy disease yeah that we don't have much power over and has so many symptoms that can fuck you up. Yeah, and ticks are just dickheads. It has its own ribbon, so that's how I know it's... Oh, it does?

Yeah, lime green ribbon. Oh, that kind of makes sense. Yeah. Actually, that's the most on-the-nose ribbon of all of them. Mm-hmm. But didn't you think you might have had Lyme disease at one point? Yeah, I guess there are a lot of crazy symptoms. When you were Ty-Ty?

When you got a little Ty-Ty? Yeah. When you got a little sweepy? Yeah. Few people thought it was. Those two months? You're tired. But isn't that kind of the symptoms of it?

Like you can't pick your head up. Like you're just. Absolutely. And that's when she had. Her knees got really swollen whoa and filled with fluid whoa and uh it was it started in her right knee and so that was before she even knew she had lyme disease so she thought she had like major structural damage in her knees and went to see an ortho about it and he was ready to basically schedule an arthroscopy to go in and clean up whatever and

he was like before we do this i just i really do want to rule out any potential uh blood issues or whatever so we'll do a panel of labs and that's what showed she ever know like does she know where the did she see the tick like bullseye she didn't she didn't have mean, we never found that. But our dog got Lyme disease in July, and we suspect she may have gotten it at that time. And the sooner that you catch Lyme disease, the much better off you are. Because then you can treat it with the heavy antibiotics. But if you let it go for a while, it sort of really can wreak havoc on your body. It can last for decades. A really long time. Ben Stiller had it for a really can wreak havoc on your body. It can last for decades. A really long time.

Ben Stiller had it for a really long time. There's a lot of people that have had it. Fucking ticks, man. They're the worst. The worst. Ticks, parasites, all that shit. I spent like three hours last night watching videos of guys going to the wilderness

and take parasites off of the backs of turtles and out of the necks of turtles and shit like that. These parasites are fucking vicious, bro. I pulled like eight ticks off my son like one night in the summer. What? Gary. It's crazy. I used to get them all the time as a kid.

I remember my mom would burn them. Yeah. So that they could like climb back up out of your toilet and shit. They're like crazy. You got to imagine when you pull that many off, you're terrified that you haven't gotten them all. Yeah. Well, he's small so at least I could like... But yeah, it was like wait, what is that? And then I pulled

one off and I was like, hold on, let me check. And it was just everywhere. Because, you know, little kids, small to the load of the ground. Just fucking ticks, man. Damn. Fuck ticks. I'm sure some like ecologists or something like well do you need

ticks to control the deer no way i don't think we need them i don't think we all types of ticks fuck that you don't need those ticks land ticks lunatics like joe biden all of them saint lunatics i'm cool with those. Trent in jail. Murphy Lee. Trent in jail. A little bit too much Murphy Lee. Well deserved. Dropping down and getting his eagle on too hard.

Just alone in his apartment in Ohio. I'm sorry. Iowa, yeah. Still an all-time story when he tweeted, he's like, St. Lunatics just came on in the bar, like, see you Monday, and then he just went to jail. He lived across the street from the bar, right? Yeah, we thought he had died.

We thought he had... Because that was back in the day when the way to keep track of someone is like they're blogging every 45 minutes. And he didn't blog that day, and we're like, is Trent dead? Oh, he called his shot. Lunatics put him in jail. As simple as that. Yeah, literally. He called it.

He tweeted it. That's hilarious. That was it. Rumpelmints, I think, got him. It is delicious. Rumpelmints. Your breath smells good. Feeling good.

I haven't even seen it in a long ass time. Let's get a bottle for the Arizona house. That would be fun. Have a rumplemint. Or we should just do a rumplemint. Let's do a rumplemint. Are you guys all going to Arizona? It's awkward you say that.

Should we just go down the list? I'm going. I'm going. I'm also going. I'll be there. Kate, you're not going? No, I'm not going. I have a son and I'm unt. I'm going. I'm also going. I'll be there. Kate, you're not going? No, I'm not going. I have a son, and I'm untalented.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I have no son. I'm totally okay with it. I have nothing at all. No reason for me not to. I don't know what year it was that we, like, everyone went,

and then from that point on, it was like, we should maybe be smarter about the budget and it was if kate was playing trivia it was probably atlanta that was the year all crammed into that casey sent me a video this morning we shared a room it was me rolling around on the floor like super drunk at like whatever time we said what a weird time that was yeah and i had a room to myself and then i felt so bad because it was like barracks downstairs and i let rob is in my room. There was bodies everywhere in that house.

In the basement. Yeah, I wouldn't want that. Remember the one night we all got together in the living room and watched that wrestling match? Royal Rumble. The Royal Rumble or something? We tried to watch it and we accidentally paid for a pay-per-view

of the previous years and gambling on it for like 35 minutes before we realized. We tried to watch it, and we accidentally paid for a pay-per-view of the previous years. Yes. And we were gambling on it for like 35 minutes before we realized. That was fun. That was like a big... So is there a Royal Rumble this weekend? No, it was last weekend. That was great. But yeah, it has changed because I think also we don't...

We're... Some one year we got banned from Airbnb. That was the year. Oh, I think it was Minnesota. I think office manager Brett left the windows open on the indoor pool. Famous Dave's house? Yeah, famous Dave's house. So Super Bowl has changed where it was for a while very fun because it was like 40 people in a house.

Now we're all just in a hotel. But yeah, that was fun. It was like a mattress sponsored basement. Yeah. That was like a refugee-sponsored basement. Yeah. That was like a refugee camp. It was literally barracks. It was just beds next to beds next to beds. No one pissed their bed.

Breaking news. Uh-oh. Breaking what? Breaking news. What the hell? Oh. What the hell? Never saw this coming.

I, for one, am shocked. Ah, Kyrie. Where the hell would he want to go? Who would take him right now? The Lakers? I guess he is on a one-year deal, right? I guess he could go to the Lakers. He's a starter in the All-Star game.

He's really good. As he should be. I know, but I just... Very good. all-star game well he's really good as he should be i know but i just very good i wouldn't have thought given the year that he's had so far in news that he would have but you know what it is kairi enough to get kairi actually like i think part of the reason why he is who he is if you talk to anyone in the nba they all love kairi because his game is so cool he has the best handles of all time.

Of all time. And he's like finishing at the rim. Like every basketball player respects his game. And then I think he can just say whatever he wants. And people are like, yeah, but have you seen him hoop? His shoes are good too. His shoes are good. Also, people in the NBA do not care about people's personal politics as much as like

the rest of the world does. It's not like everyone's like, wait, you voted for who? Oh, he's a Nazi, but is he a bucket? Yeah. Number one fourth quarter score in the league this year. Yeah, that literally is how I think the calculus goes down. Is he a bucket? Oh, okay. Yeah, whatever. Maybe Hitler did

have some good ideas. I don't know. He's a walking fucking 25 points. Okay. One of the most on point things KB ever made fun of was NBA writers because they're largely the worst. Oh my God. Sanctimonious like dickheads.

It's the wanting to be black thing. Yeah. It's not just a joke. It's a deep-seated craving to be a part of the community. Right, but also like... And because of that, they think that black people are a monolith. And they think that they are of one mind. If black people like this, I'm going to like this.

If black people think this, I'm going to think this. Yeah, they follow the same isms so they can Yeah, it's extremely reductive. Extremely. Extremely reductive from the people who claim to be the biggest allies. I find it quite rich. Quite. Quite rich

indeed. Also, Kyrie's a walking bucket. Kyrie's a bucket? What are we talking about? What are we fucking talking about? Where's he going to wind up though? What's the least Jewish place? Salt Lake City? Yeah. He's going to go to the Jazz.

He's going to the Jazz. Kyrie to the Jazz. You know what makes sense? Clippers. Does it? Yeah. What about the Mavs? I would love to see him with Luka.

One ball. There is only one ball. That is a fact. Luka also has a rolled ankle, as you know, so he's not playing right now. Yeah. Hopefully no one bet on him last night. Francis noticed he's not in his coat. Yeah, he had to give that thing back.

He sold it. Luka. Sold it on goat. Yeah. Used. Once. Yeah, once worn. Once worn. No sadder sentence. Heading jacket. Once. Yeah, once worn. Once worn.

No sadder sentence. Heading jacket. Once worn. Whoopsie daisies. Chad. We got another ad? Yeah, let me get this. And then let's spin the wheel, and then I think the cupcakes will arrive,

and we'll play Stephen Chay's birthday game. High noon. Let's talk about high noon. Of course, I like to have other beverages from time to time, arrive and we'll play Stephen Chase birthday game. High noon. Let's talk about high noon. Of course, I like to have other beverages from time to time, but my go-to staple beverage, if I'm going to be having a social drink with my friends, it's a high noon. It is a high noon all the time. I like it. Penny loves the look of the cans. She was even saying that privately to me before she zonked out after just talking my ear off about how much she loves the look of the cans. She was even saying that privately to me before she zonked out after just talking my ear off about how much she loves the amount of flavors that they have in High Noon.

Of course, she's not drinking them. She's just recommending that I try the pineapple, the black cherry, the watermelon, the grapefruit, the lime, the peach, the mango, the pasture. I could go on forever because there's so many good flavors. Naturally zested. It's not this over-the-top artifice. No, it's a beautiful, tasty, unmalted, real vodka, real juice, hard seltzer that sets itself apart from the pack. And you can get the big can, 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple.

They're available today. My favorite's always been the grapefruit, but you find out for yourself what your favorite are. It could be the pear, the cranberry, the kiwi, the guava. All of these are available to you at Drizzly or your local convenience store, your local liquor store. Depending on what state you are,

wherever you can get a little bit of liquor, that's where you're going to go to get some High Noons or just visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. High Noons, get some. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Love me a High Noon. Love a Noon.

They're the best. They're the best. Can I drink a High Noon instead of a beer? Do we have any? 100% you can. I'm sure we do somewhere in the city. I'd like to drink a High Noon. How many people want that? Actually, I would also. I would dip my toe in that. I think we do somewhere in the city. I'd like to drink a high noon. How many people want that?

Actually, I would also. I would dip my toe in that. I think we have a six in the fridge. I'm going to make my first shot not. Oh, yeah. There's no chance. I miss every... I shoot every day at that can, and I miss every day.

Where are we putting it, though? Right in the middle. And if you make the first one, you get to give it to someone else? You give a beer or a high noon to someone else? You got to give a beer or high noon to someone else. You know what you should do? This would get too spicy. If two people in a row

make it you can bump both of those to someone. Ooh. Oh, let it ride? Yeah, like... The person you give it to

can get a shot to cancel it out. Ooh. We got to let Stephen Che decide. I like this. Listen, I'm the wrinkle guy. I'm with staining. I have like a million that we could do on this game, but I'm not.

You're biting your tongue. I'm not. It's Stephen Che's birthday. It's Che's birthday. All right, let's spin the real wheel. Oh, Francis is cursed when it comes to the wheel. Yeah, he is. Oh, so? It's always wet when you're on here. Is is cursed when it comes to the wheel. Yeah, he is. It's always wet when you're on here.

Is it so? It's a good bit. Yesterday, it was dry. It's really long hair. You damn near almost had to put adult braces in your mouth. I would have. I know you would have, and I respect you for that. That was no problem for me.

And your teeth are already straight. Sure are. I don't And your teeth are already straight. Sure are. I don't allow gay teeth in this mouth. I had one that got removed. Too gay? Yeah. Oh, that was the other part of Poke Banana. Gay?

Uneven teeth. Oh, yeah. That was brutal. That was brutal. The fact that that's the historical record about you. Yeah, uneven teeth. Yeah. All right.

A name wheel. Ooh. Death to Yak. Ooh. Sometimes I feel excited when we land on it, and sometimes I feel a sense of dread. Oh, there's definitely dread. I dread that it will land on mine

because I don't remember what any of yours mean. Penny. I can't stop looking at her. I know. Yeah, she's cute as hell. But we don't know if she's smart yet.

No. It's too early to say. She's sleeping enough. Her brain is developing for sure. But at the same time, from where? What's the baseline of her

smartness? She's got to be pretty smart, though. Alright. Sassy. I don't remember his. I don't think he made one. Yeah, he did. they were all pretty good Oh yeah

Look at that kid Lobster roll for sass Climate change Oh this could be a bad thing though Because we buy the lobster roll now Oh yeah And we're out next week Yeah he's going to be a bad thing, though, because we buy the lobster roll now. Oh, yeah. And we're out next week. Yeah.

He's going to have to eat that. Yeah, he might be home right now or something. He is. Damn. Oh, my God. Bike everywhere. I biked this morning. In?

From, like, no, not all the way. Oh, my God. From West 4th Street to here in into the wind oh and i i was i i felt like i was injuring myself yeah that's how cold it was we're like yeah we're in a gatorade flavor right now it's an arctic blast right now dude it's bad i like those giant bike delivery guys use they're enormous. Yeah, it is so uncomfortable right now. The wind chill is like 56 in Maine or something right now, in northern Maine.

Negative 56? Yeah. Wow. Now, doesn't it all feel the same? Once you get negative 10? Yeah, just don't go outside. What's the difference between negative 10 and negative 30? Yeah.

Is there? When you come around the corner and you get blasted by some fresh wind, that shit hurts. Right. But if you're in negative 10, presumably you are bundling up to a- You're just not going outside. Or not going outside. But if you had to go outside, you're wearing hat- There's no more you can do warmer up

to your nose ear whatever gloves obviously crazy jacket pants at are you feeling the difference though between negative 10 and negative 30 maybe not honestly i don't even think i felt either maybe negative 10 i mean it's good that's getting a little cold. We need it a little cold. Sure did. Kill off the... Not to get the Greta Thunberg on everyone, but... Yeah, just a little bit. It was a little weird that it was just never going to get cold. 60 degrees.

Yeah. Like that. Maybe just a dusting of snow would be nice. Snow would pair well with this coldness. Mm-hmm. Aesthetically. It would look fantastic. But yeah, this shit is bad, bro.

Why were you riding a bike from 4th Street? You're psycho. What were you doing on 4th Street? I didn't know how else to get there. You could take the train. I know, but I had just taken the train to 4th Street and then I had to get out and then I did a little errand

and then I didn't want to get back on the subway. I biked home yesterday. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I biked over the bridge yesterday. I look forward to when the weather improves such that you and I might resume our bike trips back home together. We biked home. It's always a fun place.

Yeah, for sure. We'd love to have any of you guys bike with us at any time if you want to get like a posse together. A roving bike gang, no? I miss biking. We used to do it with publicity. Really? Yeah we'd all just hop in a roving bike gang Nice of her

I wonder what she's up to She's out in LA She's out in LA She just got a new apartment She's doing like her podcast And she's like kind of reframing her image As someone who just did Like as a former publicist

That's how a lot of her TikToks are framed now How do you know all this? Big fan. Huge fan. That outward about the developments of her career on TikTok? TikTok and Instagram, bro. Yeah. So you're saying publicity is just now leaning into that she was a publicist?

Yes. She's not as a former barstool employee. She's saying as a former publicist. That's how she frames her stuff. Wish her the best. Wish her the best. Her apartment looks sick. Nothing but the best. Her apartment looks very sick.

She's like a lot sick. I never knew her. Yeah. You would have got along famously. Oh, you would have been best friends. You probably would have had a show. Really? To be honest, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. Francis with an E in publicity. Like Sophia with an F, but Francis with an E. Yeah. You should do that. A little spinoff. All right, so are we going to see what Sass is?

So, yeah, let's see. Let's see what Sass is. Pike everywhere. Smoothie draft Alright Fun We haven't done a draft In a long time Okay

We'll have to have Sass back on Do a smoothie draft He's probably just Going to come in And be like Yeah That's just me

Picking what smoothie I want Smoothie on draft. You can only bring strawberries or bananas. Smoothie draft. What's your guys' favorite condo smoothie? Penny. Oh, mango.

For real? Mango with the mango chunks. We're having a fire alarm. Did Donnie just pull that on his way out? Donnie just left and the fire alarm went off. Oh, no. the fire alarm went off. Oh no. Silent fire alarm? I don't respect fire alarms. It's a problem of mine.

Yeah. They so falsely drill it into you as a child that it's associated with just leaving the building and there not being a fire. Right. They do too much drilling. Right. I remember there was one at a hotel I was staying at, and I just refused to leave.

Other side, Francis. The whole time I was like, what if there actually is a fire? Oh, wow. Can you grab me another one of those beers? Yeah, what if there is? Because the fire drills are literally boy-who-cried-wolf drills.

Right. Did any of you ever have a fire? No. No. No. Thank you. Never. Some teens blew up our have a fire? No. No. No. Thank you. Never. Some teens blew up our shed once.

No kidding. Yep. Your personal, your family's shed? My family's shed in the backyard when I was like eight years old. Did it hit? They doused it in gasoline and literally exploded. There was an explosion in the middle of the night in our backyard. And they blew it up. It was very exciting, but I lost my favorite sleds. That was very sad.

Em, you had multiple favorite sleds? I had two. A metal saucer, not a cheap plastic kind, and my flexible flyer gone forever. The saucers were the goaded side. My dad would wax the bottom. It would go super fast. He would?

Yep. That sounds like a G. It was. Sounds like a top boy just smoking cigs inside and waxing saucers. Waxing saucers. Steve and the cupcakes are about to be delivered by Israel. Let's go.

Let them have one for Kyrie leaving. Poor Israel. Join us. You guys see this Chinese balloon? Yeah. What is that? There's this Chinese balloon? Yeah What is that? There's this Chinese balloon hovering over Montana And it's just like

How do they just pop it? Chinese spy balloon They're worried that's going to like It's the size of three Greyhound buses So they're worried it's going to fall on someone's head Debris They said that Yeah they were

They couldn't do it for the safety of the people beneath it Their spy balloon is the size of three buses. Very incognito. Aren't balloons kind of pussies at the end of the day? You just fucking... Yeah, like a one pin. Yeah. Takes the sharp nail.

They said it was... It's too high. It's too high. If they're spying from that high, bro, why would you not just spy from lower with a smaller camera? Or why not just go on Google Maps? Right. That shit exists.

Update it every day. Or use a satellite. If you want to get images of something, there's so many other ways to get images. Then you just see the news. Everyone's like, are we about to go to war with China? It's like, what, are we going to get colonized by China? What are we going to do about it?

It's just shit. You can't put a balloon over. We're going to have to send some balloons back. I just found out about this and I'm pissed off. I'm so mad. What if they colonize? It would be cool if we could sort of all become racist towards China. If all of a sudden they were an enemy you know and then as a country it

was fine yeah i mean that was kind of with every other war yeah that was kind of the the cool part of the cold war right you just hate russians yeah i mean every war yeah but they're not as fun to be they're not as fun to hate oh russians yeah you think chinese are more fun to hate it made i don't know. I got a rap battle against an Asian dude, so I could use it all, bro. If you've got ideas about Asian hate, bro. Pop a balloon right in his face. We should just send over the Macy's Day Parade balloons.

Yeah. Just fucking leave them roughshod over their country. Elmo just flying over. All of them. Unleash the fleet of the Bob's Big boy Fucking balloon Uh oh I'm gonna be in Trouble

Yeah that was tough That was a bad shot How are you setting this Trash can up I was gonna do it like that Francis is right There's a It's closer to him

Oh this has gotta be Israel It's gotta be Israel Go grab him Israel Second hand right Elise cupcakes Yeah we did the second hand It's got to be Israel. It's got to be Israel. Go grab them. Israel. Elise Cupcakes. Yeah, we did this.

Such a treat. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. Because I know you don't fucking indulge like that. Thank you, Israel. You're up first. You know, I think there's a misconception about me, which is that I have a really powerful sweet tooth. And I eat desserts voraciously. Oh, really?

Yeah. That's your vice or one of the vices? I don't eat greasy or cheesy or fast food-y fatty foods, so I balance it out that way. Whoa, these are- Oh, my God. Those look lovely. Are those just two loosies? Two loosies.

Loosie-goosies. Those are the lemon- I think those are bananas. Oh, those the lemon. I think those are bananas. Oh, those are bananas. Yeah, those are bananas. The banana's good. There's some bananas, some chocolate, some vanillas. Banana with the chocolate Nutella is really a treat.

The carrot cakes are really good. Just until time to take them out. All right, so Francis is up first. I'm going first? You want to go first, Steven. It's your birthday. All right, I'll go first. You want to go first, Stephen. It's your birthday. All right. I'll go first.

You sit in that seat, Stephen. So remind me. I eat a cupcake, I crumple up the paper, and then I shoot the papers until... The cupcake paper? TJ, if you can get a one-minute timer going. So you'll have one minute. You got to down one cupcake. And then you can crumple up the – or however you want to get the – Pre-crump them?

You can paper airplane it however you want. You can load the gun? Yep. And then you sit in your seat. And then you can get up and rebound. But you have as many shots as you take. That counts as a beer. And if you don't complete it in a minute, you have to eat another cupcake.

Correct. And what is the mark of a completed cupcake? Is it clean mouthed or is it cupcake fully in mouth? Cupcake fully in mouth. Oh, that's easy. You do that one bite. I think you got to go with ah. Yeah, you got to go with ah.

You got to go ah. Okay. All right. Yeah. Let's go to an ah. So swallowed cupcake. And then if you hit it first shot, you give someone else a beer. Yes.

Any practice shots? Are we allowed practice shots? No practice shots. Again, the whole minute thing doesn't seem like a relevant timer. Oh, it is. Oh, it is. You could be running out of time. You might not get a chance to line up your shot.

You capped the amount of beers at three. This is my game. This is a keeping hole. What do you mean? Right on the other side of your belly button. It's your ass. Oh! Right on the other side of your belly button.

That's a high ass. What's the keeping rule, Francis? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't understand how the time of a minute matters. Because you've got to eat the cupcake. If it takes you longer than a minute to finish your cupcake. There's a punishment if you don't finish it in a minute. You don't get any shots. You have to eat another cupcake.

All right. Okay. But we don't know how long a cupcake will take to finish. Yeah, it could be 15 seconds. It could be 40 seconds. Is there a clock somewhere? There will be. Okay, ready?

Nope. Wait, hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. A peel, illegal peel. On peel, repeal. That's fine. You can't repeal? Here we go, begin.

Oh, yeah, this timer's adding a wrinkle. Oh, yeah. Idea check. Perfect amount of time. Oh, that's a big-ass cupcake, and timer's adding a wrinkle. Oh yeah. Idea check. Perfect amount of time. Oh, that's a big-ass cupcake. And that's a lot of icing. You can finish this in a minute. It's been ten seconds. This is a very fun birthday game. Oh yeah. A minute is... That's gonna be tough.

Yeah! What a waste of that jaw. Does the paper have to be out of your hand by Yeah it's a shot clock right Yeah Steven you knew what you were doing Yeah this is a big game You really thought it over I think Francis might be better at trivia than this

Ooh He's bad Shit Since he went to school for eight years He's got his paper pre-crimpled Listen ah Oh Oh no

Oh no Uh oh Oh no Oh my god You can drink if you want Oh my god He's got his paper pre-crimpled. Oh, no. Oh, no. You can drink if you want. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Ten seconds. Ten seconds. Come on.

You're only taking one shot. He's only taking one shot. Five, four, three, two, one. Oh, no. Oh. I can't do that. I could not finish the cupcake. So now you've got to eat another cupcake.

It was too dense. I don't know what to say. I'm eager to see how well you guys do it. You can drink or whatever you want to do on the side too. What do I owe now? You just have to eat another cupcake. You can do it at your own speed. So does he have to drink any beers? We all have three beers still,

right? You have to drink three beers. Three beers and the cupcake. On your own time. It's even perfect game. No, you played the game and you failed. You just showed how good of a game it is. The game is treacherous. I didn't achieve the time. It's the perfect game. You started slow. You could have finished that probably 10 seconds

back. You didn't go hard. You could have gone harder. Exactly what we said we wanted, KP, is what will make this so hard. Thank you. In a cupcake. Sleepy. All right. So I'll just start drinking beers then.

Yeah, and eating a cupcake. That's fine. I'm going to eat my cupcake on my time. This is a great game because it's very Stephen Che and the fact that the punishment is actually a reward. Make sure we have enough. How many do we have? There are 14 total, so yeah, I think we'll lose. Yeah, it should be enough.

Oh, Roan's getting ready. Do you got your cupcake, Roan? Right there. DJ, you want to get the timer up? Oh, yeah. These are layered icings. So this is several. Yeah, this is a ton of icing.

Cheese icing is really good. So you're the one who said Billy's cupcakes. I know, but that was at a time when I didn't know we'd have to be inhaling them. You got this, Roan. Yeah, that was a terrible performance. Especially on the heels of criticizing the game. I wasn't fine at all. You ready, Roan?

Count me down, TJ. Three, two, one, go. Oh, icing first. Shoving the entire icing. Yes, you're making Francis look like a bitch. Oh, yeah. Oh, it is dense. It's a joke.

I was worried I was going to hurt myself if I did that. Uh-oh. Hurt yourself. Now, the hard part's going to be. He's got to go ah, though. Yeah. He's got to go ah. He's got to go ah.

Oh, he's copious. Plenty of time. Using liquid. Yep. Shake the body. Oh, he's. There he goes. It's going nowhere.

He's made no progress. It is. This shake is doing nothing. I think he's going to get a shot. I think he's going to get a shot. I think he's going to get a shot. He's forcing himself to swallow huge clumps. Like a snake with a mouse. Oh, man.

You got it? 15 seconds? These are such good cupcakes. His jaw's got to be exhausted. He's a cake eater. He's got this. Still a big ball in his mouth. Approved.

Approved. Seven, six. Oh! Wow. Beast mode. Hey. There you go. That was impressive.

I mean, at least it wasn't like you didn't finish in 30 seconds. So to be clear, if the first shot misses, you can go up and rebound and basically dunk it. Oh. Yes. You don't have to sit in your seat and do additional shots. That wasn't clear. You don't have to sit in your seat and make additional shots. That wasn't clear. You don't have to sit in your seat, and that's a gimme. You can just put it in.

Not necessarily, because you can get it too. Okay. I mean, it shouldn't be crazy hard. You're going to putt it? Yeah. Close? Two putter. Yeah.

All right, KB, you're up. Would you rather have it be seeded? I feel like that's harder. I feel like Roan did it pretty much as fast as anyone can. These are a lot easier to eat than the ones we did. The chocolate? Yeah, they're a much smaller cake. Less dense.

That icing was so dense. It's really dense. And I think putting the liquid on top of it made it significantly easier to swallow. Because yours probably got so chalky towards the end. This is much. He's chosen well. That will be easier. Use the beer, though, KB.

I'm telling you, bro. Here. Come on, KB. This is the butter. Come on, KB. You're in a Manute Bowl jersey. The cream cheese frosting is the really hard one Don't disrespect it

Wait I get You get to give someone a beer But if he hits it on his first shot We get two beers that we can give someone I guess that's the same as if we just agreed on giving someone a beer. Should I give someone a beer now or should I wait? You got to wait and see how it all plays out. I'll wait and I'll see.

Jay, I'm thinking about giving it to you. It's okay. I have a maximum. Yeah, but I'm saying I want to put it on top of your max. It's fine. All right. Ready, KB? All I want to put it on top of your max. Are you ready, KB? Alright, count it down, TJ. 3, 2,

1, go. Wow. Oh no, I think he's shocked by the density. Oh no. Just jam the rest bro Just get it in there Get it in there

Not even at 10 seconds Putting it all in Made it harder Cause I got a big ass mouth bro KB famously has a tiny little cute mouth 15 seconds left Kyle Start pouring some booze on top of that Just going for the beer Come on KB Try to squeeze a little in Come on KB I love Kyle. Start pouring some booze on top of that.

He's going for the beer. Come on, KB. Trying to squeeze a little in. Come on, KB. Oh. I don't know if there's a little cupcake left in there. Yeah. Oh.

There you go. He's got it. Yep. Looks like he's swallowing. Ah. In your mouth. Oh, no. Oh, no.

You should have to go back to your seat. Oh, no! You should have to go back to your seat. It's Jay's game. There's a ton of time left. You finished that very fast. Rowan finished with five seconds left. If he had to go back to his seat, he'd be done. I know.

That's why it was imperative that I hit my shot. Or else I had three lined up, though, from my seat. You know what I mean? I had three wads. Okay. Blow. We can maybe do that. Three wads to blow?

Yeah. Okay. But everybody has to blow their wad, right? It's every good night. Fucking Jay. You fucking demon. So let's do that. Let's do that.

Just have three prep sheets lined up. So take the shots from your seat. All right. We passed out. So let's do that. Let's do that. Just have three prep sheets lined up. So take the shots from your seat. All right, we pass that to you. So no boards. Right there, Francis. Right next to you. It's a good looking cupcake. I'm going to fucking demolish this. It's always a shame to waste a good cupcake by speed running it.

Yeah. There you go. Oh, nice shot by Francis. Little redemption. The cat's ready to go. Ready to go. Got cupcake in hand. Three, two, one, go.

Oh, icing off the top first. That strategy. And you'd think it'd go down smooth, but it looks pretty thick. But that's a lube in the mouth. Oh! Wow. Okay. Wow.

Chew hard, chew hard, chew hard. Go hard with the chewing. Entire thing in his mouth in the first ten seconds. Wow. That was amazing. Yeah, the chewing is... That was really amazing. Chewing, swallowing.

Still over 30 seconds left. It's chalky. He's got it. Uh-oh. He's good, he's good. He's good to do the thing from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Call your dad and say, hey, I just won. And again.

Wow. Amazing performance. Good work. Completely done. Did you get a little stuck in my throat? Yeah. Oh. Fun game, Che.

Yeah. Thanks. Great idea. Someone. Oh, man. Here. Do the white one. I think my strategy is.

That one is so much harder. If you just suck off. That is so much harder. If you suck off the cream, though. This cream is heavy cream. That was a big. That helped me a lot. If you objectively just compare your starts to everyone,

everyone just kind of, you're just taking a walk in the park. I just didn't know how it would work yet. How hard you have to go. I was chewing so hard. It was a cautionary tale for the rest of the field. We walked so we could run. Now we know. Watch, though.

Oh, wow. Nick is going to struggle with that cupcake. That's like a caulk. Yeah. That is a big caulk to put in your mouth. Please. It's white. Okay.

Alright. Three, two, one, go. Going with the icing technique. Oh, two, one, go. Going with the icing technique. Oh, that icing is so thick. He's literally chewing it off like a taffy. And he didn't even get it all. No.

Oh, no. Yeah, you got to scoop the icing. He mashed that thing in. Suck it down. And some beer on top. Some beer on top. Yeah, help yourself. Help yourself. He's at a good pace, though. He's on top. Some beer on top. Yeah, help yourself. Help yourself.

He's at a good pace, though. He's on track. A little cupcake is in his mouth. A lot of chewing. Pour some beer in there. Just get some beer in the mouth. It'll help. Remember how fast I went? Yep, there comes the swallow. beer in the mouth. It'll help. Remember how fast I went?

Yep, there comes the swallow. There comes the swallow. Got this, Nick. Just suck it down. There you go. There you go. Got one. And it's in.

The fun of this game. And I am a bitch. Yeah, no, I was going to say that. And I'm a bitch. Wait, I'm the baseline for that? If I can do it, then... You ate the same cupcake and you smoked me, which makes me a bet. This game is actually rules because it's just showing how bad Francis is.

Yeah, it does. You're just playing trivia all over again. I almost want to try it again. You should. I see that. All right, I'm going to give my extra beer to Francis in the form of a cupcake. Yeah, I wanted a... In the form of a speed cupcake.

Yeah, Kate and Steven are going to go go and then we'll see how big of a bitch Francis is. Oh, God. Come on, Kate. This one's for all the Ford I'm glad. Suck the frosting off. You got to go frosting. Okay. There's nothing I want to do.

You might be able to reposition the can a little bit because you want to reposition? I'm okay. I'm okay. There's advantages to both. Now it's deeper or it could be wider. Okay. There you go.

Perfect. Thank you. Oh, God. Okay. Ready? Oh, you tell me. Three, two, one, go. Yep.

Oh, no. That's slow on the cream. Cat's method. I was already done with my cream. Yeah, there you go. I have a little mouth. Oh, no. I know my little teeth.

Oh, no. Nick and I know your little teeth. Yeah. First hand. Come on, Kate. Push yourself. Second hand. Just get it all in there.

Come on, Kate. Go strong, Kate. You still have over half your time. Once you get the cake in there, the beer will start dissolving it. Stone was right. It was a chemical reaction. You also got to remember there was a moment I thought I was going to choke to death. You can't choke to death on a cupcake. Nobody ever has. It's impossible.

You just got to fight through it. A spoonful of cinnamon will kill you. Let's try this with steaks. Not at all. One minute. One minute to eat a 36-ounce T-bone. Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. Come on, Kate.

Come on, Kate. Good, good, good. Go. Yeah! Woo! Oh, my God. What a performance. Fucking A. What a performance. Fucking A.

What a rush. That was great. Oh, man. Che, you have to be able to do this. Do the white ones. Yeah, Che, this is now. Yeah, do the white one. I need him to do the white.

Your game. Che, do the white. Your game. Those are harder. And there's really no losers except Francis. So far. It's all stuck in my chest. Oh, yeah.

Right here. Right here. Yep. But you really do, like, that moment, Nick, you probably had the same moment where you're like, can I choke to death? You can't.

You can't. It's too good. It will just keep going down. Too tasty. It will go down. It will go down. Do you actually know the Heimlich? Do you guys know it?

No. I could do it, though. You're not allowed to say Heimlich anymore. The guy wanted royalties, did he not? He was a Nazi, was he not? Huh. Yeah. He was a rapist. Let's see.

That's why he did it. He wanted to touch his victims. Great at basketball though. Buckets. His handles were sick. That's why you can't say shit about him. Heimlich, actually pretty dangerous. My buddy was legitimately choking on a grape, and his roommate was giving him a Heimlich, and then shortly thereafter, a couple weeks or a couple months, his lung deflated.

You'll break a rib. You know what's more dangerous is dying from the grape. Yeah, sure. It'd be humiliating. Is dying dangerous? Ooh, good question. Ooh, it's like it is dying from the grape. Yeah, sure. It'd be humiliating. Is dying dangerous? Ooh, good question. Ooh, it's like it's water wet. Yeah.

A grape, what a pussy. Yeah. Single grape? Yep, shout out my buddy Brian. Brian. Why did he chew it? I feel like you've got to chew a grape. Yeah, what, did he suck it down?

I wasn't there with him. He was tossing it. Maybe he was tossed yeah maybe he was throwing it up in the air and catching it i guess i do cut i do that all the time the grapes for my kids yes yes normally grapes are decent size but yeah they're bitch moved they say grapes fuck people up big time really every year yeah oh they don't dogs yeah oh definitely on the list. Give a dog a grape. You see what they're doing in Atlanta with grapes? Oh, the candy? Candies. Crunchy candies.

What happened? What? See that? Oh. Yeah. That's what they're doing down in Atlanta with the grapes. They're doing crunchy candies with the grapes? Yeah, they're making them into sour, crunchy candy.

What are you talking about? I believe they're calling them perks. I've seen this. I know exactly what he's talking about. Yeah. It's a big thing. It's a big thing. It's a big thing. You're giving us no more information.

I gave you all the information. I gave you the specific place they're doing this with grapes. What are they doing? What they're doing. Can you look up like Atlanta? Turning grapes into sour, fruity candy. That's what they're doing down in Atlanta. Are you talking about raisins?

Crunchy, sour, fruity. Are you talking about raisins? What are they doing in Atlanta? That's what they're doing down in Atlanta with grapes. Damn. Damn, I had no idea. Look at these grapes. They still don't.

Whoa. Yeah. That's Atlanta style? That's Atlanta style. Atlanta grapes. I want some Atlanta grapes. TJ, you said they're called Perkies? They're just calling them Perks.

Perk, I think. Are there drugs involved? There's like candy dealers that are just like... There's something sketchy because I didn't know it was grapes. I thought it was drugs too for the longest. It was males. I have to have this. I'm in on this. I want some

Atlanta grapes. They layer them and layer them and layer them in sugar and like sour sun. Apparently they're amazing. This is cool. Wait, what's that? Low calorie sour candy grapes? Our candy grapes are the best.

They say fucking Atlanta grapes. Just like sour candy. They have a decent amount of protein. Place your washed grapes into a bowl, then add some lime juice. Atlanta grapes are like the size of a snowball once they're covered in all the sugar. Oh, growing up I used to have Jell-O on my apple slices. Place them in the freezer for one hour and that's it. This is seriously the best lower calorie and higher protein alternative to regular candy.

Yeah, still, every time they do like, oh, this tastes like candy. There we go. Oh, it tastes like candy, candy. Candy tastes like candy. Yeah, these motherfuckers. This is what they do in Atlanta. Damn, KB, I'm sorry. I should have given you more respect when you brought that up.

I need one. Hashtags are hilarious. I want one bad. Hashtag perk. They're really re-seizing the name of. Oh, that one's juiced. Yep. Oh.

Hear all that water running down from the grape? I want to say it's like a grape rolled up in like a fruit roll-up covered in candy. So they're just eating candy. Yeah. Well. I'm down though. What the hell? All right, Chad. candy. I'm down though. What the hell? How are they reclaiming the term

perks? How are they also reclaiming candy? Or grape. Or grape. It's a lot of things. Can I real quickly since that talked about Jell-O Mix, the worst tummy ache I've ever had.

Just a legendary tummy ache. People still talking about it today? Yeah. It was on Friday night after basketball practice, so I ate dinner late. I had two peanut butter sandwiches on bread. No. Before, before. As a sandwich with bread.

Not two peanut butters. I really liked Jell-O, but I especially liked it before it was fully gelatin. You could slurp it. So I made lime Jell-O drink that I put in before it hardened. That was my drink. And I watched TGIF, and I jumped on a mini trampoline for like 30 minutes. Tell me, did you puke? Almost, yes. Oh, so it wasn't even that bad. Watched TGIF, and I jumped on a mini trampoline for like 30 minutes. Tell me, did you puke?

Almost, yes. Oh, so it wasn't even that bad. Legendary tummy ache. I would say the puke would have made it legendary. One of the worst pains. You should have puked. You always remember those legendary pains, though. My grandmom had like a tire swing that you could like spin around in her backyard, and I think I had maybe one peanut butter and jelly sandwich on bread

and then did it and spun it. I did puke afterwards, but it was a legend. It's a tummy ache that you don't forget. Seven years old or so. I caught a puke last night with a bowl. My son, that's like winning the lottery, slid a bowl right underneath him. It's like the red band holding the bowl?

I was standing on the other side of the kitchen island. Saw it. Slid it. Puke in the bowl. Yahtzee. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

I was like celebrating while he was crying. An old West Saloon barkeeper. It was awesome. Throwing a bottle of whiskey down. You have these little moments where you're just like, I am on the top of the world. There's no one can stop me. I've seen bartenders throw the coaster underneath your beer as you're putting it down before. Really?

Yeah. Very fly move. All right, Che. Okay, Che. Should I say Che-a? If you can do this successfully, Francis is officially a bitch. I think we're there already. No, no, no.

If he struggles, then you have at least, it's a bitch off. We have we're there already. No, no, no. If he struggles, then you have at least... It's a bitch-off. We have a classic bitch-off. Yeah. We'll have to go head-to-head bitch-off. Yeah. It was a handicap.

Not a handicap. It was tough that you had to go first. No. No. I would have done it... Ever eaten a cupcake? He started cocky. I would have done it differently.

I would have done your icing first strategy. Maybe we'll get a bitch off. We might get a bitch off. Holding out for a bitch off. I would love to see a bitch off here. We could dock each other. We could what? Docking?

Your penis. And then see who has to pull out first. Oh, I think you guys will have to eat cupcakes like Buffalo Bill style and tuck your dick into your asshole. You can finish a cupcake faster. Alright, I guess you guys have to. I think my time would be better. Classic bitch off. We've done this before.

Not our first bitch off. You're not circumcised? I am. Oh, okay. What does that have to do with it? Oh, docking. I think you can dock if you were to just pull enough skin. I think you could just use some of the cupcake.

You have a really tight dick, Steven. You're talking like you have a super tight dick. Like your dick skin is super tight. You have a shiny dick? A tight, shiny dick. A plastic surgery dick? No. You could probably push the head down like a clicky pen. You could grab some skin from the face.

Steven's always erect. He is. I would assume it would be flaccid, but if you were imagining us docking here today, you're hard. Oh, no. Steven was imagining hard. I was. I was. I mean, your dick was out.

His dick was hard. Yeah. In my mind today, that punishment, I'm soft. I don't know why. It's like puppy skin. You're soft until you realize how good lookinglooking Steven's dick is in your heart. Love that. Nice dick.

The light glinting off of his dick. Sure is. Everyone knows that. Kate? Kate saw it. It's an expert. Oh, yeah. It has seen the dick.

And it was hard. He was peeing in the bathroom. Yeah, no, he's always hard. It's his secret. He's always hard. It is always hard. Shocking. He's hard hard. He was peeing in the bathroom. Yeah, no, he's always hard. It's a secret. He's always hard. It is always hard. It's shocking. He's hard.

The vengeance. All right, Steve. Is this the forked stream? Always. Laying down, planking, fully in toilet. Knock push-ups. Ready? Uh, yes.

Ignatius D. You can only do one. Only do one. Only do one. Count them down, TJ. You can only do one. Only do one. Count them down, TJ. Three, two, one, go. Oh. There won't be a bitch off today, folks. Wow.

Huge bite off the top. He's already almost done. He hasn't swallowed once. He's chipmunking right now. Yeah, he's chipmunking. This is going to be the part. It's going to be a long winter. That's a practice shot.

That was a practice shot. The only thing that will ruin it is if he misses this shot. Or if he can't swallow that. I mean, it looks so dry in his jowls. 25 seconds. He's using the beer to wash it. Is there an insane amount of backwash in there now? Floating cake in there?

Still chewing. Still going. Wow, we might have a bitch up. Hold on. Let's see that left cheek. We got to see the ah. Hear the left cheek. We got to see the ah.

Hear that cheek That's good That's clear No bitch off Alright do you wanna try again Francis? I think you should Yeah I mean your name and reputation is on the line

His name's been sullied Those were delicious cupcakes Or would you They are good Or what? Would you guys all want to try 50? 50? 50 what?

Seconds? Seconds. No. Not enough cupcakes. Sadly. You think you could do 50, Kyle? Yeah, I pretty much did. Oh.

You want to have a cupcake race? Should we have a cupcake race? I didn't miss it, but I won't. No, I'm not. We're not going to do it. Francis, if you left. Wait, do you want to go at the same time as Francis to help? No, I don't want to do it.

You should go for 50, though. Go at the same time. Let him be his pacer car. I don't want to do it at all. The rabbit. I don't feel great. Do you want to just time the cupcake? Steven.

Diabolical game master of games Throw him that uh balled up piece of paper. I got one You're gonna need multiple dude with the way you eat cupcakes If you get a shot that yeah Good to you by the penny just being a good dog She's being so good She's killing bro She does not give a fuck She's being such a good dog

She does like to play Okay can I try again? Yes I'm gonna be sick after this Oh don't peel That looks like a lot of frosting on this one Yes it does You ready TJ? Just go on me Cause I don't have my headphones on Wait That looks like a lot of frosting on this one. Yes, it does.

You ready, TJ? Just go on me because I don't have my headphones on. Wait. I'm ready. All right. Ready? Here we go. Oh, there you go.

There you go. He ate all the icing right off the top. That's the way to do it. Doing this for the podcast listeners. Yeah, you guys. You're stuck on the icing right off the top. That's the way to do it. Doing this for the podcast listeners. Yeah, you guys stuck on the icing. Come on. Put it all in. Put it all in. And then start pouring beer on top of it.

Okay, he has put the entire cupcake in his mouth. Oh, you're okay. You're in a good spot. You're in a great spot. You're doing a great job. A little bit of beer. 35 seconds. The beer does help a lot.

It's a game changer. And he didn't do any beer last time. He's going into anaphylactic shock. That's a lot of sugar for the boy. This is good, Francis. Your reputation is going to be intact after this. Oh, there we go. 20 seconds left.

Oh! There you go. That might have been the fastest. That was 42 seconds. If I had not gone first, I would have known all of those tricks. Yeah. I stand by that. If I had gone first, I would have done the exact same thing.

Well, you did revolutionize the icing first. Yes. I think people will talk about that. Yeah, it did. It was like the forward pass. Poke bananas. Hey, we can pass this ball. They're going to rewrite the rules afterwards.

Imagine how much of an advantage that was First forward pass Imagine you game planned for the run game And they threw it over your head They just ran past you What the fuck You can't do that I'm gonna go cut those up but thanks guys this was fun

Hey thanks for coming in here I'm happy you had fun Oh wait we have to give out beers Oh yeah Oh I have one We have to give out beers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got a lot. Oh, I have one I have to give out, too. Yeah.

Did everyone make their first shot? Kyle has a bonus beer that he has to drink. He bricked his first one. Oh, fuck. Bricked his first. And, uh...

Oh, no. ...has a bonus beer. Okay. And then we all... So we have five to give out. Ron, why don't you start it? I'm gonna give mine to TJ. I'll take one, too.

I want one of the ones by Che. I think those are a little cold. Actually, no, this is pretty cool. They're in the same spot. I'm going to give mine to TJ. Thanks. I'm going to give mine to TJ. Okay.

Thanks. Che, who are you giving yours to? Colder, right? Yeah, much colder. These are so delicious freezing cold. Shout out No Big Deal Brewing. No Big Deal Brewing. Here you go, brother. I'm not.

This one's nice and fun. It's a lukey. A lukewarm KB and the B's for beer Oh shit That's what it's been Wow Holy shit dude

That's fucking crazy These ones are significantly colder Oh no That's alright It's the sugar Just one Hey who'd you give yours to? Oh I didn't give my beer to anyone yet.

Would anyone like a beer? Zah? Would you like a beer? He's okay. Nick. Sorry. That's fine. Go with you.

That's that. Nick, you get to drink a beer. I do. I'm okay with that That's great news Jay who are you giving your beer to? Oh you have to KB Oh There we go

Love it love it love it Would anyone like another cupcake for now? KB you want to try 40 seconds? No See if you can beat Francis this time No I don't think I'm good like that I think you are You're nice You don't think you're nice with it? I don't think I'm good like that. I think you are. You're nice.

You don't think you're nice with it? I think I'm nice with it. You're nice with it. I promise you, you are. Bro, you are so nice with it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Literally viral.

It's a Mincy tweet. Mincy just tweeted how viral this is. Oh, we didn't show up 20 minutes ago. Way to go, Mincy tweet. Mincy just tweeted how viral this is. Oh, we didn't show up. 20 minutes ago. Way to go, Mincy. Way to go. Thank you, Mincy. Anything to say, Francis, about Ben Mintz?

I'm just changing the subject, maybe. I like this feud. It's just a good feud. It's clean. You and Ben Mintz, that's a good old-fashioned barstool feud it's in a pauper vibe it's more like you pull out two random names and you're just like what what happened here and it's also great because knowing both men pretty well francis is gonna lose because he doesn't realize mincey is unbothered and really doesn't even know what

what the feud is about he'll just keep fighting it the way he does and it will keep making you angry keep making about trivia yeah and he'll just like he'll dominate you with oblivion he'll keep coming at me about trivia until i start caring about being bad about trivia right but even then he he moves in mysterious ways you don't know which direction he's gonna to go. No. That's funny you got a six-pack, Francis, because I've never seen you answer four questions in a row in trivia. What is the funny way to sort of resolve it?

No. No, I mean, like, if we were, we're not going to go to rough and ratty, right? So, like, what is. Why not? Actually, what you should do is you should get Jeff D. Lowe to do a one-on-one trivia battle i would like that but i would want it i'll be incredible jeopardy questions bull oh yeah no he could do mince he could answer a dozen questions you could answer jeopardy questions i don't i don't even think i'll concede that he would probably beat me in that i want to do a proper trivia. Like, the baseline to me of trivia is Jeopardy. That's our gold standard of trivia, correct?

Yes, yes, correct. So if he and I were to compete in Jeopardy... Francis, you're already losing. Yeah, you've already lost. You do care too much. Yeah, you've lost. He beat you. All right, I won't say his name again.

Oh, I think you should go head-to-head with him. I hope he doubles down then yeah heard you won't even answer back oh you should we should like it's funny i can come up with like a trivia where it's like four jeopardy questions four dozen questions and then four hodgepodge i can't i can't touch the questions that jeff asks i think there is one chink in his armor, and I think it's his sobriety. I think that that's one thing that you could be like, hey, you ever

have one of these? I want to go after him with sobriety. Make him do Dave and Buster's and let it handle itself. But he's only beer sober. This is like House of Cards. Does he drink booze? No, he's not alcohol. What is that? Three other drunk. He said beer sober, so is like House of Cards. Does he drink booze? No. He doesn't.

He said beer sober, so I thought maybe he drank drink liquor. He doesn't drink, but he gets fucked up in other ways. He still enjoys fish concerts. I am proud of the fact that he has left alcohol behind. That's a...

I understand that. I see what you're doing. You're a genius. Oh, you. For him, right? I was trying to think about if we did like a timed SAT section. I mean, he went to school

for eight years. So you do care about that yeah i want all about the trivia is weighing on you no because the problem is right now just based on all the the facts we have mincy's smarter than francis as for what we have right now we have we have trivia easy mincy. Now, Mincy did go to Ole Miss for eight years, but Francis also dropped out of Fordham. So that's kind of even.

So it goes back to trivia. Smarter than you. Oh, no. He is. He's smarter. So I was undecided, but yeah. Yeah. You swayed me.

He's smarter. That's what I mean. You cannot play with him on that plane On that plane You're dangerously close To just being like Let's do an IQ test Right Right Right

Right But Imagine what you have to lose With that Oh my god Or even like Beating him by three You'd have to blow him out

Are there How does an IQ test work? Is there He's gonna do it Now I actually want to see it What if we took the Wonderlic Wonderlic would be You'd have to blow them out. How does an IQ test work? He's going to do it. Now I actually want to see it. What if we took the Wunderlich? Wunderlich would be good. I want you guys to do an IQ test.

I think I would love to take the Wunderlich because that's a football test. What about a whole combine? I want a whole IQ test. All right. I'll do that. Did you just make that happen? I never said I wouldn't do that. It's always posed as hypothetical, but I can't do it.

Well, IQ tests, there's online IQ tests that are very... Those are fake. You versus a Ben Mintz IQ test and we got to watch it. You said a Ben Mintz IQ test. We would have to... Like an Ewok. We should get you guys through an entire neuropsychology exam. Like actually.

Yeah, CAT scans. Yeah, right. And seeing the Rorschach. What is it? Rorschach. I think you need to go back to Ole Miss and beat eight years. Oh. Speed run Ole Miss?

Yeah, speed run Ole Miss. Or take that finance course and see if I could do better than a 2.0 GPA. Yeah. When he did. I guess it was his whole major. Either way, it feels like this chapter is not closed. Well, you guys need to, you're the ones that are good at coming up with tests. I think an IQ test.

Fast banana. Yeah. They say the smartest eat bananas the fastest. What if we gave you, what if you let us decide, the Yak decides a gauntlet? An academic to Catholic. Billy Madison, academic to Catholic. So here's the thing though, Big Cat. You have made intelligence

the sticking point of our contest. You did, because that's the only way you will get satisfaction, because the only issue you have is for the fact that he somehow has an upper hand on you intellectually. No. Well, he is smarter. I fact that he somehow has an upper hand on you intellectually no well he is smart i admit that he's i admit that any other type of contest physical what what what what

other than trivia would he beat me in uh probably what i'm saying you need to beat him in a trivia type event to get the true w it has to be trivia event? I think in your head you need to. I'm not just saying this. I love playing along with you guys. This doesn't bother me. Of course, of course. This is fun. You're stuck. You don't want to go against Ben Mintz or Stephen Chay.

You have to do an IQ battle. Stephen Chay and Ben Mintz are the two brains. If you go up against in anything, you lose. Just by going up against them. The IQ battle has to be something where, like, we each, whoever loses pays the other person $1,000 or puts it up to a charity of the other person. Bogs for the cause. But I would be willing to give him a handicap.

Loser has to get spit roasted. I just don't know what that is. I would be willing to give him, like, whatever, a couple of strokes, basically. I don't think he needs that. He's not going to challenge me straight up in an IQ test. Yeah, he will. You think? Yeah, why not?

He's mincey. Did you see his trivia score? Yeah. He's very good at trivia. yeah guys very good it's trivia he's very good he's won champs it is uh yeah trivia being the baseline for that is funny because it's um the the prism is through jeff lowe's um frame of reference you know what i mean so it's like what you know and what jeff lowe knows so he knows more of what jeff lowe knows so maybe you just need to get closer to Jeff Lowe.

Or have you ever seen Fast Banana? Yeah. What is Fast Banana? Can we pull it, TJ? Can we find Fast Banana? Why don't you join Trivia again? Yeah. I'm super bad at it.

And I'm fundamentally a hole for whatever team I'm on. And there's therefore no point. See if you can be your own team. Sass needs a team. You, Sass, and Tico. I don't know the things that Jeff Lowe is asking. I don't know college football. I don't know pop culture.

I don't know the faces. I can never figure that out. What do you know, smart guy? The Arab-Israeli conflict. Okay, okay. Punctuation. Hemingway.

Yep. Certain recipes I can cook. You really are just living out goodwill hunting right now. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to think of less high-minded bullshit. Mince has been a janitor outside of the live dozen events. Just a genius.

I wonder if I know more about Barstool history than he does. Yes. Well, there you go. Yes, Mintzy's Barstool history knowledge is Mintzy. Barstool started when Mintzy got hired. Let us cook up an academic decathlon yes some events skewed towards you some events skewed towards him i think that'd be perfect but i don't know if i trust you guys you don't want me to win which is fine no no no no i think if we made

it exactly fair where it's like how are you gory is hemingway A category is college football. That's ridiculous, though. Why? Because neither of us have a shot on each other's category. Yeah, I think you do. Why don't you do each? It's a topic strategy. Well, actually, no. You have no shot. Mincy might.

I think. What if he just was a fucking Hemingway, like, savant? I think it's do a Jeopardy. Do Jeopardy. Because that's trivia. That's supposedly what he has over me. So you're saying... Jeopardy is the most famous form of trivia in the world, I would think. Or what about a third-party trivia aggregator or something like that?

Something that's not necessarily Jeopardy, but it's also not Jeff Lowe's frame of reference. DJ, can you pull up Jeopardy real quick? I'm sure you can play Jeopardy, but it's also not Jeff Lowe's frame of reference. DJ, can you pull up Jeopardy real quick? I'm sure you can play Jeopardy online. Let's see how you do. I bet you Mincy's fucking awesome at Jeopardy. He might be. You know, that's the unknown. What about it's a

10 round trivia. You have 10 topics. He has 10 topics. You decide before. You decide before and then if he misses, it goes to topics. You decide before. You decide before, and then if he misses, it goes to you and you can guess. To me, it's like a curated trivia is not going to reflect anything

that we want. We'll decide who wins. I don't know why you're trying to explain to me. I'm higher ranked than you in trivia. Address me as number 14. It's like the Chinese social code. Alright, here we go. What do you want, Francis?

Alright. I don't know. Trivia. How about trivia? There's a category of trivia that's trivia? Sure, let's start with trivia for $100. Oh my God. Wow. Woman question.

I don't know. This is a trick question, isn't it? It never won. Was it Marie Curie? Good guess. Oh, here we go. Here we go Here we go Alright He's legit

Alright that made That made me feel good That was big Okay Alright you wanna do Geography for a hundred Maybe you wouldn't Annihilate me

No yelling out answers Smart guy Oh It's easy Is that Australia No Oh Oh

Is Australia not qualified? I thought it was Greenland. What makes an island? Yeah, why wouldn't Antarctica? Where do you go from island to country? What about North and South America? What about Long Island? Yeah, Rhode Island.

Rhode Island. I don't know. All right, where do you want to go now? Famous person by quote, 100 bucks. You have brains in your head. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. Seuss?

Yeah. Has to be. So we don't know if Minty would know these things. Let's keep going for a couple. I got to think it was Marie Curie. I was about to say Marie Curie. I know that one. That's Marie Curie, but I'm worried about these other rounds

Let's do all the hundreds For each category for fun Which or which What is blank name again Y-O-U-R No apostrophe That's easy Songs

Oh 2020 Catastrophe. That's easy. Yeah. Songs. Oh. Ooh. 2020. Who sang Seven Rings in 2020? Seven Rings? I don't know this song. It's got to be a rapper, right? I would have said Rihanna.

Oh. Oh, well done. Did you say that wrong? I would not now. Let's keep going with songs. This is kind of fun. Yeah, let's do songs. What type of music has been shown to help plants grow better and

faster? Classical. Are we just shouting them out now? Because I want to. I did too. I just want to yell them out as fast as possible. I was about to say it right before you were going to say it. What movie is this song from? You Make Me Un-Poco Loco. You make me un-poco loco the way you keep

me dancing. Coco? Coco. No. Encanto. Encanto. Coco, yes. All right, flip-flopper. Song. Both. Oh. Music lyrics.

See how I'll leave with every piece of you. Don't underestimate the things that I will do. Oh, Adele. Rolling in the deep. Rolling in the deep. It's Nikki again. It didn't even tell us what we needed there. It's numbery again. It didn't even tell us what we needed there. It's number 14 again.

It didn't tell us. Let's switch over to geography for 200. Rwanda? Country. Brazil. Brazil. The most coffee in the world. That's got to be Brazil.

Colombia. Ah. I see. Space for 100. Space. Come on bro How many planets are in the solar system? My mother told me

9? 8 That's how you do it Pluto Yeah is Pluto still in the mix? Pluto's been out for 28 8 What's the sentence for remembering the planets?

My mother told No no I'm just using it My very educated mother Baked us No made us B planets. My mother told me. No, I just used it. My very educated mother baked us. No, made us nine. Blue toe. My mother baker. It says.

Anyway. Huh. My very educated mother just. Because Jupiter, right? Yeah. It's crazy we're only three away from the sun. Guess the biggest person. I don't like that.

I don't like that Never let the fear of striking out Keep you from playing the game Gotta be Yogi Berra That boy was cooking That was me Do another quote Believe you can

And you're halfway there Fucking Walt Disney Or some shit Sounds like some Sweet ass Ho ass Walt Disney shit I don't know Take my hand And we're halfway there

Oh Teddy Roosevelt What a bitch A lot of good quotes From that guy I feel like Knowing quotes is like Let's just wipe this

Whole board out Yeah let's just go Let's just fucking rip it What was the first country to shoot something into space? China I think it is China right? Oh Soviet Union We suck

China What mythology except Earth are the known planets named after? Greek Greek yeah What the fuck kind of question is that? Greek That didn't make sense What mythology?

I would like to blank this game by or by. Let's just rip through this category so we don't even have to look at it. Blank it is there or there. First. There. Up for the audio listeners here for these homonyms. Just blank the fact. Accept or accept.

Accept. So this should be one of your categories against Mincy. Going blank to the store. One's one-oh. Two or two. Hit the blank. Break or break? It's break. B-R-A-K-E.

If you're dancing or not. Bill Nye is my blank. Idol or idol? I-D-O-L. Bill New Year'sye is my blank idol or idol idol bill new year's eve is my idol cause and blank i don't know this e-f-f-e-c-t this one i always fuck that up better blank that all right thank god that out of the way tedious go to trivia, too. Trivia. Yeah, let's go.

Let's rip through trivia. Apple CEO Steve Jobs is known for wearing what color turtleneck? Black. How is that a quote? That's easy. In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at someone was a declaration of what? War? Duel?

Love? Duel? Who said love? Apple's a little bit too fruity. I think it might be romantic. Homosexuality? Yeah. Wow.

It would hurt. Yeah. It's kind of cool, though. I love you. I happen to do pickup lines. Peach. I was chucking an apple at someone. This is the national animal of Scotland.

Why is animal in quotes? Oh, sheep? Because it's a dragon. Yeah. Oh, you know. Oh, you know. Shit. Good context clue though.

What planets literally reign diamonds? Jupiter? Plural. Sounds like some Jupiter shit. Israel. Saturn and Jupiter. There's two? We gotta go there. What is the most common letter in the English alphabet? E. alphabet? E

S? Might be E Who invented scissors? John Scissor No, no, that was the younger brother Davis It's supposed to be someone we know Davis Scissors

He was shitting stuff out Pose to get someone we know for a different reason. Avis Scissors. Oh. Yeah. He was shitting stuff out. He was great. That's since he has scissors on his portfolio. Yeah, this is a name for a group of ferrets. A family. It gives the F. A troop. It's a bastard of a troop.

It's a troop? A dumb bastard. Is it? Oh, yeah. That's sick. That's cool. I like that. Songs.

I've just been guessing. This Bruno Mars feature song is listed as the number one song of 2010's decade. Uptown Funk. Grenade? Oh, Uptown Funk. It's got to be. Yeah. Wow.

A Fifth Harmony member released this song on her debut album, which became the best-selling song for the year of 2018. Is it? Is this asking for Camila Cabello? It's asking for the song name. Song. Well, it'll become the best- This song.

Oh, yeah, it is. This song. Havana. Havana. Havana. Oh, there you go, KP. Which British girl group had a member by the name of Mel B? I went to a lot of Spice Girls themed birthday parties.

What movie has a song that says, From Mozambique to the Memphis Nights. It was Memphis Nights. Mozambique, bro. Can't believe we're even talking about it. Coming to America. No, fuck. What?

From Mozamb fuck What Jungle Book Cars Damn it That's the one I should have gotten That's Life is a Highway right And the Bon Jovi song Living on a Prayer Living on the Docks

Jenny and the Docs Johnny works at dinner all day Tommy used to work on the docks There's no Johnny or Jenny Damn we're dumb I love our podcast listeners man We'll quit These guys will not stop This is tedious

I hate Jeffery. Yeah. All right, keep going. Let's get out. I got a deep yard, though. I fucking watched that shit. Fucking finish this shit. Geography, let's go, KB.

The Eiffel Tower was originally intended for what city? I don't even know. New York? Leon? Arthelona. Arthelona. Oh, that's a cool fact. What four countries make up the United Kingdom?

Ireland. Wales. Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales. England. Yep. Got it. Nailed it. This state became the 48th in the United States on Valentine's Day in 1912.

Alaska. What's 49? Arizona. Oh, no. 49 is Alaska. so 48 would be... New Mexico? I think it is New Mexico. Arizona.

Oh, I didn't know it was that late. It's why 50. I can't believe New Mexico got in the game. Which country was the Caesar salad invented in? Mexico. What is the first name of the first civilization? Oh, shit. What is the name of the first civilization?

Bro, what? Mesopotamia. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah! Hey! What African country borders both the Atlantic and Indian Oceans? South Africa. South Africa.

South. Oh. How many communist countries exist today? Double the points if you can name all. North Korea? I think like Laos or Cambodia. Cuba? Is Russia communist?

I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know which countries are still communist. Is fucking China Vietnam no Turkmenistan it was in China

in Vietnam China China is yeah Cuba China North Korea Laos Vietnam

we got all of them I think yeah two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe

who was a smart ass like that? Hawking or... Oh, oh, what's his name? Stephen Hawking. No, he wrote that book. He wrote that book, They're on the River. Arwen? He's like, paint the fence, Mark Twain.

Gary Paulson. Oh. Seems like something to say. Oh, Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein. Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience. This is the ideal life. Wow.

Whoa. Oh, that does sound like a sleepy conscience. This is the ideal life. Wow. Whoa. Oh, that does sound like a poo. Sounds like a lesbian. Mark Twain. I usually, usually he has a different word in there. What was he talking about? The fool doth think he is wise. What if it was just that?

It was just like, oh, that's got to be Mark Twain. That's Twain. The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. Gary Coleman. Yeah. William Shakespeare. It's got a doth in it. A woman is like a teabag.

You never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. I'd argue the man is like the teabag. Andrew Tate. Eleanor Roosevelt. Whoa. Speaking of scissors. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Is that Lance Armstrong?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Anya. Anya. Give a little light. Who is that? It's a peach. Patrick Nietzsche. That's pink.

No. Everything you can imagine is real. That sounds like Disney. That's got to be Disney. John Lennon. Pablo Picasso. All right, we got space left. What is the farthest planet from the sun?

Neptune. Pluto, right? Because they said eight earlier, so they got to be. What planet is closest to the sun? Mercury. Oh. Which is the hottest planet in the solar system? I think it's actually

Venus Surface temperature of 460 degrees Celsius How is Mercury colder and it's closer? How old is the universe? Very What do they mean the universe? What is 13.7 billion years old? They don't know

Stop guessing It's in the Big Bang Theory song intro 7.7 billion years old. They don't know. Stop guessing. It's in the Big Bang Theory song intro. Ah. What is it? The center of the Milky Way galaxy? Nougat? A black hole, right?

No, it's bubble gum. It's marshmallow? Like a Tootsie Roll Pop. What is the unit of measurement used to describe the expansion of the universe? Inches? Infinity? Some Einstein shit. Energy, right? So would it be a kilojoule?

Hubble constant. What am I saying? What the fuck, bro? I thought it was inches. We've never claimed to be smart. Only Francis has. I don't think he has. I don't think I have.

It's like that quote, like, we know we're dumbasses. We know we're fools, and we've claimed it, and that's why we're smart as fuck. Yeah, we're fools. That's what the fucking quote says. Okay. That was a pretty hacky Jeopardy quiz. Like, the questions were not,

I don't trust whoever made that either. What a facial Jeopardy. Yeah. The, like, their classification was terrible. That category sucked. I think sometimes in the back of taxi cabs you get the Jeopardy questions.

Trebek is telling you, hello there. We have a meeting right now. This is dead ass. That's our bad. For the mall. We're're gonna do a mall show um okay we'll see everyone next week regular time yak from arizona we'll probably be doing about an hour episodes so don't complain i know there's gonna be pre-complaints well there's also going to be more barstool programming later in the day. There's going to be a lot of shit. Like one day we have to do mini golf.

There's dozens. So, yeah. So we'll see everyone same time. Also, the house has a bunch of different like... Fun shit. Yeah, which TJ, we will be able to partake in during the Yak, right? Yep. Okay.

So we'll have cameras that we can do some fun ass shit for the people. I heard there's pickleball, like, shuffleboard, fucking... There's a pool. Golf, tennis, mini-golf. Someone's getting wet. A brick of cocaine that there's a chef shaving, just pure... Parmesan cheese. Fantastic.

All right, see everyone on Monday. Right. All right. It's the act. It's the act. It's your drug, yeah, it's time to take it for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk, shop, and do a Yankee pop. It's the act.

It's the act. We'll see you next time.