The Yak - Stu Feiner Imparts Some Wisdom on Stuesday Tuesday | The Yak 6-13-23

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

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What are you guys doing? Stu tried to throw his gum in the trash, and it missed the trash, and now it's in the pile of clothes. Never to be found again. That's trash also, Stu. I wouldn't worry about it. Extended trash. Unless you watching out there

paid for something that looks like it's in that box. I know. I couldn't help it. If you bet on that, you would have made a million dollars. I'm crying. I'm crying right now.

Unbelievable. Stu Feiner in the fucking building. It's an honor and it's a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. Black patent leather shoes do shine up. And my nice socks. And my nice socks. And his nice socks. Yes.

Yes. As much as I want to talk to Stu, and that's going to be awesome. Kate, what the fuck is in front of you? Big hat in the building. I made my own, like, Chex Mix. Oh, I thought that was, like, fudge. With M&M's sticking off of it. Pretzels, M&M's, peanuts.

Made my own Chex Mix. Hi, Dan. How you doing? What's with the shoes? I don't know. I got dressed up today. I have a meeting tonight with Dan Katz. Not Dan Katz.

Ken Katz. Jerry Sugar Daddy? No. Real estate agent? No. Ken Katz. Come on, Barclays agent. Oh.

Jerry Sugar Daddy. Oh, that's Jerry Sugar. Oh, that's the one? Great dude. So anyway, so we have a tremendous amount on the table, and fingers crossed, and by the grace of God... He's gonna sign you? I didn't say that. Because he... Stu, are you

getting an agent? I didn't say that. Yes. Well, an agent... It's about time! Yes, Stu! Well, not an agent, obviously. Fight for yourself! Not an agent for Barstool. That's independent. For football. But an agent for, well, because today my first comedy show ever goes on sale. I'm going to be playing My Father's Place July 13th.

So it's going to be comedy, and I think we're going to have Tank, Doug's, and Jakes as special guests under me. So wait, you're getting an agent before you've done your first ever comedy show. I like it. Move fast. Well, the agent specifically is to get national commercials and a second major motion picture about my life to see if that is reality and to see if I could do some sort of sitcoms and Netflix shows and stuff like that. And then what Ken can do is put me in front of real people and they would either say yay or nay, but I have a fabulous story and I think it's time. You know what I mean? I think it's time. So, you know, I'm ready, you know, look, the two things in life that I'm, I would love to do is comedy. And then I can't wait to work, you know, look, the two things in life that I would love to do is comedy,

and then I can't wait to work, you know, in Chicago doing Barstool Sports Advisors again. Like we said, like you said your whole life, that's the show. So is the price for Stu Feiner on Barstool Sports Advisors about to go up? No, because, listen, truth be told, and listen, whether I should be getting paid, you know, $5,000 to $ to ten thousand an episode is moot because it's i will never ask for a penny because the main thing is this i make enough money off the show to be honest with you that's numero uno but when day point they called me and said stew i want to bring back uh your show sports advisors me my father my uncle watched it in the

90s you fucking were the best. You made us laugh. I want to rebrand it, Barstool Sports Advisors. What do you need? And I said, I need nothing, Dave, because he's the only guy on the block that offered something to me. ESPN never did. Fox never did. Any of the WFAN radio shows, I went to WFAN with this monster presentation, and I figured they were going to pay me between $5,000 and $10,000 a week.

As I found out, that was more than anybody made there, and they want what reality? They wanted to charge me $20,000 a week. Forget about me having a show. So my loyalty as far as Barstool Sports Advisors is, I'm going to ride into the sunset with you forever. Forever. So no more retirement talk. No, listen, you squashed that on me in like one post.

I was like, oh, you know, and to be honest with you, my wife literally grabbed my balls, and I'm talking literally and said, who the fuck are you to retire? You pissed away all your money in the 80s and 90s. You pissed away $30 million. You didn't want to buy houses.

You didn't want to buy buildings. You didn't want to buy strip balls. I was begging you. And we lost $2 million while you were talking to Donald Trump trying to fuck his girlfriend at the time before he married Marlon Maples. You're never retiring. So that's why immediately I cleared that up.

Of that. I'm never retiring. And as you spoke about... And he's the boss. And as you spoke about If you Let's say Semi-retire But for the rest of your life

You could do Barstool Sports Advisors Absolutely So I'm sailing Into the sunset With you forever With that And that's how it's gonna go

And then I'll make my money In other areas And I believe I'll be Very successful in comedy And Tell it Well My comedy specifically

Is not going to be Telling jokes It's going to be telling jokes. It's going to be talking about my life and demeaning myself and making fun of myself and shredding myself. And I'm very good at that. You know what I'm saying? I'm very good at on Barstool Sports Advice is bragging that I have a 10 inch dick and I have 100 million in the bank. And, you know, you know, men want to be saying that's not true. No, I have a five and seven inch dick.

Oh, exact. No, don't say that No. I have a five and seven inch dick. Oh. And it's exact. No. Don't say that, Stu. It's exact. Five and seven eighths. That's enough. Because I measure it every day because I want to make sure it still works and it still goes. What my claim to fame still is that...

You measure from where? Yeah. The top to bottom. Do you push in? Do you push in? I would push in. All the way from the base. Why did you greet that with like...

I pick up three quarters of an inch pushing in. He says 10 inches. Push it in. Five and seven eighths is good. Of course it is. You do a lot of tanning. The average size of a dick. Of course he's been saying 10 inches for how many years?

And it's not real. When I had a four month window of doing porn because Al Goldstein, who owned Screw Magazine, was with me at South Oaks Hospital in Amityville. He came in at 390 pounds and he went to 290 pounds and he befriended me and I met Ron Jeremy, which is not a big deal. You did porn? What do you mean? He owned Screw Magazine. He owned the magazine. That wasn't what he asked. What do you mean?

Did you do picture porn or video porn? Just listen. Can I find your mock? Just listen. 1985. No, you can't find it. So listen. So we would go to these photo shoots And there would be like I would say literally 70

Heroin addict girls It's getting dark In the early 80s when you went to a strip club They weighed 110 pounds And they were fucking gross But they would fuck the whole bar And when you went into the parking lot at four in the morning, you got blown in the car and you fucked these girls and whatever the case may be.

So when I went to these photo shoots, these girls would fuck everybody. I'm not saying I didn't. I fucked them all, but I'm not saying I didn't. So I can consider that porn. I had a four month window. But no. Wait a minute. That's not porn.

I don't know. I'm fucking these girls. That's not porn. It was on camera? It's pornographic though. No, while these girls were fucking Ron Jeremy and all these other stars on camera, I was off camera getting blown. That's not porn.

Well, listen, that's about as good as porn as I can get. It wasn't like... It wasn't like Stewie, different definitions of porn. It wasn't like Stewie Stu-fuck. You had sex. You had sex. I've had sex during an R-rated movie before.

That's not porn. You were like the fluffer, keeping them going in between scenes. Exactly. So that is porn. I was like making these heroin... Dampener. Disgusting.

Scaler 1 to 10. A halluciner. The best girl in the place was a 4.5. That's the top of the line. That's not great. No, that's not great. Who the fuck's fucking me? I mean, what do I look at me?

What are we talking about here? You fuck a girl below a five? Is it porn? I've done a lot of porn. Listen, in my day, you fucked anything that walked, and after you came, you said, thank you. That's how I was raised. I was raised right. Oh, that's a gentleman you came, you said, thank you. That's how I was raised. I was a gentleman.

If you can't eat it, you don't fuck it. But if that pussy smells OK, then you go. It doesn't matter what they look like. Everybody has a life. Yes. Thank you. Everybody's a human. What does that mean?

Meaning that I'm a human. For example, for example, let's say you're worth a hundred million dollars. OK. But you're a human. You're no better than the guy in the street that's living in a box. Right. So everyone's equal. Yeah.

It's just that the way of the life is that they didn't catch the break. The other person did. The other person could have. That's how it is. So what I'm saying is that. That's how this equates to pussy. Because. Let him go.

He's going on a tangent. No, no, no. I'm making a point. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Once you put your dick in a pussy, and once you cum, they're all the same. All the same.

Hole's a hole. As long as it doesn't stink. That is God's honest truth. As long as it stinks, they're not a human. Well, no, no. Then you just get blown. You fuck them up the ass, and you fist fuck them. That's different.

Totally different. All right, wait. Then you just get blown. You fuck them up the ass and you fist fuck them. That's different. Oh, my God. Totally different. All right, wait. I have some. Can I? I mean, I'm sure I'm killing the vibe here, but I don't think you are. Not at all. I think everybody's acting so sanctimonious like they've never heard. Right.

They've never heard this before. Like, I didn't fuck below four and a half. I see this graph. I've done that. All right. So, wait. Oh, man. I just saw the picture. Yeah, it's rough. Oh, I, I just saw the picture of Big Ev.

Yeah, it's rough. Oh, I haven't seen it. I think it looks horrible. It doesn't. All right, so here's my... I have no idea what's in that bag. Here's my prediction. It could be a gun.

It could be weed. Your son that was born. He looks so much younger. Are we saying his name? No, we don't say their names. Okay, so your son that was born. I'm making a prediction right now. Okay?

What the hell was on the clock, boys? He's eating too healthy. He's going to be a college baseball Division I pitcher. I doubt it, but okay. Okay? I'm putting that out there. Okay. Okay? Number one.

So because of that, I want to give... So the odds are against him. Well, yeah, of course, but the odds were against you making $50 million, and now you're worth $75 million. So what the hell are we talking about? Damn. Damn. I'm not worth $75 million.

I have not made $75 million. I didn't know that. What the hell? Another round of rollerblades for the belief. I want to give two gifts for your son so that this is what he's going to emulate into. Okay. It's weed.

I don't smell it. Oh! Sue did give my first son, when he was born, a PS5. With like war zones. No, no. Like six great games. And I gave your daughter all these crazy little baby toys. Yeah, I do have those.

They were great. Yeah. Oh, my God. What is this? All right. Who's the greatest pitcher to have lived? Tom Seaver. Sandy Koufax.

Nolan Ryan. Tom Seaver. Walter Johnson. Walter Johnson. He carried out a 25th. Can we say it yet? No, no, no. Somebody has said it already.

Cy Young, Roger Cunningham. Somebody has said it already. Nolan Ryan. Only one answer to this. Walter Johnson. Did we say it yet? No, no. Somebody has said it already. Ty Young, Roger Clemens. Somebody has said it already. Nolan Ryan. Only one answer to this. You're going to say Sandy Koufax. There's only one pitcher. There's only one great pitcher. Five-year period, best ever. Sandy Koufax. Look at this.

We have the Sandy Koufax ball. Is that a Sandy Koufax signed baseball? Holy shit. Thank you, Stu. My God. It's incredible. Very nice. Oh, my God.

What a gift. It's very cool. You're the best. I love you. It's not for you, though. Unbelievable. Not for you, boys. Now, Stu, this old...

Is this in your house for a while? It's mine. Okay, yeah. Now, it was given... It was given... I, yeah. Now, it was given to me by my grandfather, who knew Sandy. He knew everybody. He knew Babe Ruth. He knew Joe DiMaggio. He has an autograph of Joe DiMaggio, Marilyn Monroe, when they were married.

He was the maitre d' at Tootshaws, which was the number one restaurant, sports restaurant, sports bar in the world. So during the 40s and the 50s and the 60s, all the mafia people went there. Where was it? Every New York Yankee. There was like four of them. At Shores? That's incredible. T-O-O-T-S.

Shores, yeah. Shores. Where was it? And Toots was the ultimate drinker. Toots would drink with John F. Kennedy. My grandfather used to tell me these stories when I was young. John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, all the Mafia Dons, all the Yankees, Billy Martin coming up, Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, every one of them.

And Toots was like the ultimate showman and the ultimate entertainer. And he would drink with everyone. Yeah, Toots shows. Well, thank you, Stu. That's a phenomenal guest. Phenomenal. like the ultimate showman and the ultimate entertainer. Great name. Yeah, Toot Shores. Well, thank you, Stu. That's a phenomenal gift. I won't say it, but do you know how much it's worth? No, I have so many autographs. I don't know.

For example, autographs are not worth a lot of money. I mean, it's probably worth, I mean, if you're asking me, the ball's probably worth between $250 and $450, and the plaque is worth between $175 and $175. No, Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu. It's priceless. It's priceless. It's a gift. It's priceless.

No, no, but I'm just here. It has no value, monetary value anymore. It exceeds monetary value. Okay, God bless you. It is a priceless gift you've given me. I'm hoping for all three of your children to be healthy and happy. Thank you. Thank you. It is a priceless gift you've given me. I'm hoping for all three of your children to be healthy and happy. Thank you. Thank you.

This specific, your youngest right now, is going to be a Division I baseball player. Yeah. Pitcher. School. Maybe someplace warm? Well, if you're going to live in Chicago, what's the number one school in Chicago? I mean, I think Northwestern has a decent baseball team. They have a good baseball team.

Yeah, but he's got to be smart. I'd say Stanford. Okay, Stanford. That works. I'd say we don't do that. My son got into Stanford and Brown, and he picked Brown. I want them to pick Stanford. Yeah, Stanford would be nice.

Palo Alto's beautiful. If he doesn't do baseball, he has $75 million to wait on. Yeah, exactly. Well, he's got to pay the estate tax. Okay, yeah, shit. It sucks. They really bang you on that. It's actually better to not be rich.

Damn. Thanks, Pops. Unless you have a stinky pussy. Yeah. No, you're still a human. You're still a human. But hardly. So I have a podcast called Only Stew.

I used to have another one, Source With Stew Finder, but we canned that one. So now it's called Only Stew, and it's me and Alex, my son, and we do anywhere between 45 minutes. So it's not Only Stew? Of course it's not. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's Only Stew with Alex. With Alex?

I call it Only Stew like an Only Fans. No, you should. I wanted to do an Only Fans. Rebranded. No, no, no. The first thing you see is me jerking off. Rebranded, though. Of course Alex is on it, too.

Only Stew with Alex is a way better name. You think so? Yeah. I like Only Stew because Only Stew sounds like Only Fans. Yeah, but Only Stew. Listen, my claim to fame is this. Let's say my five and seven-eighth inch dick is nothing to look at, right? But I have an incredible pee hole, and I still have projectile cum.

See, even when I jerk off, even when I jerk off, like if I'm jerking off, it comes all over my belly, or I could spit. I could probably reach that little box right there. No, you couldn't reach that box. No. You couldn't reach that box. From there? You're saying your urethra is wide in circumference? I'll look away for a second. Go ahead. Wait a second. I would have to have, well, there's

about three or four girls in here. I fit a quarter in there. Three or four girls in this building. It could get me hard. You know, whatever. Alright. Okay. I would need them in here and then I could show you. You've already gone down this road. I'm sorry. Still the best is when Stu ranked everyone And then was like Man times have changed Although I was like yeah

You couldn't have This is like a story when they find A ranking in like 2002 at a high school And it's a big story Times have changed But again listen it was on my anniversary and

the post above that was, I love my wife. Happy 43rd anniversary. I've been fucking the same woman for 43 years and I love you. And because of this, I would like to rank the sexiest girls at Barstool.

Was that you defending yourself? No, no, no, but that was my degenerate, perverted, sociopath way of A, being funny, and B, being an honest. Do you have any regrets of someone you omitted or something you missed out on? No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Anybody who left off the list. He did one of the greatest rebuttals.

I was fucking crying laughing. She did a great muzzle. Look at her. Where am I? Stu, I've said this before about you, and I mean this in only the complimentary way. You are a caveman trapped from the 1980s, and I love it. It's like a time machine. I haven't ever matured on that.

You do a list, and it's like you can't do that. You're like, man, times have changed. You's like a time machine. Well, it's, I haven't ever matured on that. You do a list and it's like, you can't do that and you're like, man, times have changed. You can't say anything anymore. Well, I mean, like the list was up and then Dave called me

and said, Stu, you gotta take that down. I took my phone while I was on the phone and I said, Dave, it's gone. So in other words, it was a mistake.

Whatever, yeah. I didn't realize it was a mistake. Right, that's what I'm saying. You literally, to this day, don't realize it's a mistake. I don't understand, yeah. I don't want you to ever change. You know what's what I'm saying. I literally, to this day, don't realize it's a mistake. I don't understand, yeah.

I don't want you to ever change. You know what's funny? Like, who gives a fuck what I think and what my ranking is? I'm married to the same fucking girl I took to the prom. It isn't like I've ever cheated. You got jerked off by your mom. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

So I thought it was- Except for the short four months of porn And getting jerked off by his mom I wasn't married yet I wasn't married yet You weren't even married then I wasn't married yet Right

I wasn't married yet Right Got married in 88 Right So You were going to prom But you weren't married It was in that gray period

Well I mean It was the 70s and the 80s I'm not advocating Listen Everybody Everybody took like four quaaludes And fucked everybody You didn't even know

Who you were fucking You know Well he's a time machine Well Stu If you got married in 88 You haven't been married who you were fucking. That's why he's a time machine. Well, Stu, if you got married in 88, you haven't been married 43 years. No, I've been going out. No, no. I've been going out wire to wire since 1978.

Oh, I see. Wire to wire, baby. We went out 10 years in a day and then got married. All right. At year eight, she said, I'm leaving you. And then I had an engagement party to buy two more years. Nice. And then she said, if we're not married, I'm leaving you. And I just, you know,

you risk your life. You're like, well, what am I going to do here? And I fucking got married. Yeah. Smart. It's the only woman that I've ever actually, like, loved, to be honest. Like, I can, I can, we had no prenuptials, so she owns my cock and balls, you know what I mean? Like, you know, whatever. Like, you know, in front of a judge, she would say, look at his post,

and the judge would go, everything goes to Sandra Feiner, you know what I mean? Like, you know, whatever. Like, you know, in front of a judge, he would say, look at his post, and the judge would go, everything goes to Sandra Feiner. You know what I mean? Like, you know. Hey, look at the ranking. Yeah. So what else is going on, guys? I'm happy you're here, Stu.

I love seeing you. I'm very grateful. Thank you so much. I don't minimize it. Can we go back to the Ev picture, maybe? Yeah, can I see the Ev picture? I didn't even really get to enjoy the Ev picture. It was so...

A month ago, he said, if the Nuggets win the title, I'll shave my beard. And that is how we landed on this today. And he did it with an electric, and then he cleaned it up with a razor. And what was his reaction? He's pretty embarrassed, pretty stunned. I think it looks okay. I think it looks fine. I think he looks better than with the beard.

Yeah, he looks two ways about it. I think he needs a beard. No, the beard was a little scruffy. I think he looks pretty sharp. He looks a lot younger. What are you surprised by? Me? I'm not surprised by it.

Okay. It's very round. Oh, that's tough. Without the hat. That's like when you pop a head off a Barbie. Oh, that's tough. Without the hat. That's like when you pop a head off a Barbie. That's a different angle. That's a different angle. He's the best.

Good on him for doing it. He could have just not. He could have not. I would have faced whatever consequences would have came with that. Which would be none. I pinched you and I went bubbler. Bubbler? Yeah, because that's what my grandmother would do to anybody that has cheekies.

They go, oh, little bubbler, how you doing? Can I take up eight more seconds of your time, then I'll shut the fuck up? Of course. You do whatever you want. Of course, dude. So, I had an old school sleepover at my house. Yes. It was me, Tank, Duggs, and Jinx.

And it was absolutely fucking incredible. What? It was eight seconds. Oh, okay. It was only you. No, go ahead. I'm kidding. Was it only you and them?

Yes. My wife was upstairs saying, if this is what I have to look forward to, I'm leaving you. That's what she said. My wife and my son, well, my son lives in the guest cottage. So it was you, Jenks,

Frank, Duggs, your wife, and your son. Well, my son was in the guest cottage. He was not with us. Your wife didn't like how Jenks looked? I feel like he's got a rough body. Oh, she just thinks that, you know, 62-year-olds that have sleepovers are pedophiles. And I'm, you know, I mean,

I'm a pervert. I'm a sociopath, but I'm not a pedophile. It's a big difference. Put it on the record. Total difference. Neither is Brandon. Neither is Brandon. But if you were?

Oh, yeah, okay. What I'm saying is that we had the best fucking time ever. You know, I got, like, a ton of food, barbecued my balls off. I ate nothing because I'm eating squeaky clean, you know. But it was just a great experience. It was a lot of food, barbecued my balls off. I ate nothing because I'm eating squeaky clean, you know, but it was just a great experience. It was a lot of fun. We talked about anything and everything, and we talked for like 10 straight hours of stuff.

We watched the movie Air, and then everyone fell asleep at like, I guess like 4.30, and we woke up at 6.30, and then Tank did his slow roasting on of his ribs. We couldn't put the barbecue together so we had to do it on my barbecue and then picked up my father at the rehab, brought him over

and we just fucking, it was great. It was amazing. I just want to say, sleepovers are still as good as when you remember when you were 10, 11, 12 years old. Yes.

Fucking amazing. It's a bonding experience. It was un-fucking-believable. You launched Frank the Tank into doing his incredible diatribe last night. Yeah, what about that? We see some of that? Oh, wait a second.

This was the most, we don't have this on tape, and we didn't take pictures that we're going to ever show because we don't want Tank to be like Charles Oakley and James Dolan. But Steve Cohen, at the end of the night, was leaving, and Tank went right up to him to take a picture. And he says, can I take a picture? And Steve Cohen went, no. Whoa.

As he's walking away with his back to Tank, turned around and said, and be nice to us, and walked away. My mouth was open. That is where Frank is like the king. Because Steve Cohen has more money than God. 12 billion. Owns a fucking professional sports franchise and Frank the Tank bothers him.

Well, I mean, literally. Yeah. No, no, he does. And what happened was a week ago, Craig Carton, who they put on the thing for Peter Lanzo's charity, called and said, our original plan of you doing a five-minute song

to the Billy Joel, We Didn't Start the Fire, shredding everybody and shredding Daniel Vogel back is canceled. You cannot do that because Peter Alonso has an injury. He's out for five months, and the Mets have lost eight of nine. So two years ago when this event happened, or last year ago, every Met was there

besides Jacob deGrom and Lindor. Every Met, Buck, Showalter. And it was a party. Mets were in first place. They were up by eight games. Last night was almost like a funeral because the Mets are in trouble. Pete Alonso has hurt our best player.

And there's a good shot that Steve Kohn paid that invested this year alone $370 million, best player. And there's a good shot that Steve Cohen paid that invested this year alone $370 million and they're nothing. Dog shit. So the vibe was a lot different. Big time different. But I thought it was funny that so Tank went up

there and was like, you know, he was silenced. Why did they let him up? Because they didn't want to totally embarrass him because they did make a commitment. We were on his radio show, me and Tank, for about a half hour, Evan and Carton. And they spoke about it. But it wasn't, you know, that he couldn't shred them to the level. But think about it.

Years ago, when I was young, a bad press sold. You didn't care what was said about you. Even the worst thing in the world. Because your name is there and you get good publicity. That is no longer the case. Bad publicity is horrific and it lasts forever. And then people comment and retweet it and it just vibrates. It's horrible. So Frank literally shreds the team to an, you know, an incomprehensible level.

He says the manager should be fired. Steve Colt, he's an idiot. literally shreds the team to an incomprehensible level. He says the manager should be fired. Steve Colt, he's an idiot. Right. Billy Epler should die. It's horrific. So the owner sees it. When people used to say bad things, no one could see it.

Now you see it in five seconds. Frank pays their salary, though. What's going on? Well, no. Rome was waving us by the wall by him. I just gave Yago the... Nice their salary, though. Listen, he got... What's going on? Well, no. Ron was waving a smiley while buying. I just gave Yago the... Nice. Oh, nice. No, but he didn't give it back. I didn't. I'd say in the last month, he's gotten

over 35 million views and over, like, 300 million impressions. Damn. I mean, that's not nothing. I mean, I don't care what you're doing. That's not nothing. No. It's not nothing. That's 35 million. Right. So he's on nothing. I mean, I don't care what you're doing. That's not nothing. No, it's not nothing. That's $35 million. Right, so he's on fire.

But they invited their biggest hater, a fox, into the hen house. Love it. So a lot of people, like a lot of people even at WFAN, are saying, how the fuck did you have that happen? How would you allow this? It's a charity event. How would you have someone— Frank speaks to the fans.

But that would be my position. He's the pulse of the Met people. Yes. Correct. You said he was silenced? Yeah, he was supposed to do at least five minutes, and they told him he had to water down everything. Oh, in that way.

Yeah. The crowd was reacting to his performance. The crowd was okay with his material, but nobody got up and gave him standing ovation as if they were 10 games up and Pete Alonzo was healthy. You know, much different, much different. You know, anything would have gone because he could say anything because it's not affecting.

But now when he's burying the team, it's true what he's saying. You know, the GM has made so many mistakes. The manager has lost the locker room. Their top player, Lindor's hitting 215. We gave him $330 million. And our best player's hurt and could be hurt for a prolonged period of time. It's sad.

You know, it's not funny. Frank was right. Frank was right. Literally, Frank was right. Frank was right. Literally, Frank was right. Frank was right. When he went up on stage, they booed him a little bit. Couldn't tell. No, I feel like that was their perfect chance to boo him back. I feel like that would be

a nice reciprocity. The quid pro quo. Sass, what are you doing? What are you thinking? What do you mean? I'm feeling good. Checking in. Sass just tried to slide me $50. It's like, what are you doing? What are you thinking? What do you mean? I'm feeling. Good. Checking in. Sass just tried to slide me $50. It's like, what?

Why? All right, what weird flex. Why is there a $5 bill at your feet? See, look. Roan keeps on putting it on my lap. This guy's drowning in money. I said, I don't want your $5. You're just going to leave it on the floor?

One of the days. I don't know why he's giving it to me. He would have killed for that. Yeah. Killed for that three years ago. Would have sucked. I don't know why he's giving it to me. He would have killed for that. He would have killed for that three years ago. I don't want his... I don't know why he's giving me $5. Just take it. Right there, just grab the $5.

You want it, Brandon? I do. Then take it. No, it's not for me. Would you charge for a handjob $5 or more? For me either. Why? Would you charge to jerk him off more than $5?

Yeah. Oh, okay. I would do more than $5. That's why he went for the $50, but he only five bucks? Yeah. Oh, okay. I would do him more than five bucks. So that's why he went for the 50, but he only gave you five. Oh, I gave him 50. I was going to give him 50 in return. I was waving the 50, and I jerked off Shaster. You got a $50 bill?

Yeah. Three. Jerking off is not even cheating. 50s. $50 bills are rare. Have you been to the Manhattan whorehouses in the 80s? The whorehouse on 25th and 5th was called 1040. For $10.40, you went into this room, and it looked like you were at a bank.

And there was a teller behind the bank, and there was this little window. You gave her $10.40. And on the glass in front of it well i guess it was bulletproof glass was pictures of doberman pinches and you heard them barking in the background so then this garage door opened and like 80 people went into this room and then like six elevators you went in the elevators and you went upstairs and there was hundreds of beds and you fuck these girls for ten dollars and forty cents and you left and then we went to forty cents seems low even for the 80s.

That's exactly what it was. It was called 1040. Did you tip at least? Absolutely not. We didn't do anything. This is what we did. We gave $10.40. We fucked these girls

and then we went to the brasserie because it was always open 24 hours. We ate there from 2 in the morning then we hung out until 6 and at 6.30 we went to the brasserie, because it was always open 24 hours. So we ate there from 2 in the morning. Then we hung out until 6. And at 6.30, we were at the drugstore getting penicillin. Was this place packed every night for $10 a person? Listen, hundreds of people every, like, hour. It was surreal.

You just saw everybody else doing what they're doing In the same room as you or there was Oh you saw everybody fucking at will It was like a you know It was just go Before this Like 1976 You used to go right onto 42nd street And you went into

This like room And girls would be In front of you And you'd be looking at them and they would be disgusting like the grossest but you know we were like 16 and smelling pussies though and then you just jerked off you gave him a dollar and you jerked off like like like a like a curtain would come up and you had to be ready so you were spitting in your hand like you were ready.

That's like an OG OnlyFans. Right, and then it came up and you just jerked off and they were gross. I mean, but you know, like 16, anything goes, you know. I gotta be honest, that sounds fucking awful.

You mean, of course it was awful. It sounds terrible. But at 16, that's what you do. You just did awful things? No, but that's what... Well, listen. I had a lot of friends that had older brothers and older older brothers,

so that's what they did, so we followed suit. Off topic of that. What do you mean by gross? Are we... We're set. I think next week we're going to play roof ball. We're set. Friday? We need to confirm.

That would be splendid. Nobody gave me only half the people. So let's do it right now. Everyone can play Thursday? Yeah, I can play. We'll see about me. Why? Brandon can't play.

I can't go. You can't go? Why? Then I'm not going. I'm not going either anymore. Brandon's not going. I'm out. I don't want to go with Brandon, I guess.

Brandon can never go. You can never go? I think it's because of... I don't even know how to... Oh, okay. I know why Brandon can't go. Let me do a quick ad read. High Noon.

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Maybe Alan comes. Yeah, Alan will come, TJ. That works. Alan will come. We're doing Thursday? I'll speak to someone about this Yes, Thursday Roof ball So the Yak next week will be roof ball

Does that work for everybody? We're doing it at 1 Yeah No, it's an hour away So it's like a holiday thing Yeah, but we're doing the show at 1 Oh, yeah, yeah Yeah, roof ball starting at 1

We would have to leave here by 11 Yeah, and we'll play and we'll announce it And it's going to be fucking fun. So much fun. Locking it in. Lock it in. Roofball's what Doug's filmed, right? He went somewhere and filmed it. Correct. It looks fucking dangerous to me.

It looks fun. What if you have a problem with heights? You can't play roofball. You're on the ground. You don't have to go on the ground. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah. I thought that he filmed something where people were on other people's roofs. So Doug's down on somebody's roof? Doug's, and they were throwing it onto other people's roofs. That's a different type of roof ball.

That's cool, though. That's next-gen roof ball. That's next-gen. Oh, so what is roof ball? You just throw a ball up on a roof, and if you hit the pipe, you get a point. You got to catch it coming off the roof. Fun. Whose house are we going to? We shouldn't say the address.

Is it like a random person? Yeah. It's a fan in New Jersey. Fuck yes. Shout out that fan. Playing at one. Is that why Steven asked pictures of my roof? Yes. Yeah, we were going to play at your house. I never asked him why. Just randomly.

Because I trust you with my life. Your house is too big. Your house is too nice to play roof your house. I never asked him why, just randomly, because I trust you with my life. So you randomly go. Your house is too big. His house is too nice to play Riffball. I was like, take pictures. I never even asked you why. You're right. I just sent you the pictures.

I didn't know what it was. And this Yak fan is going to compete with us, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm so excited. So excited. I'm not going to win. What? I'm going to win.

I think I'm going to win. Okay. I am not going to win. Ron, don't do that to yourself. I think I'm going to win. Okay. I am not going to win. Ron, don't do that to yourself. I'll tell you that right now. I know for a fact I will not win. Those are both correct. Yeah.

Che might win. Fuck, I forgot about him. Che's going to try to win. Who's the best baseball player out of everybody? It's not really baseball. That's a good question. Huh. I mean, that would be the hand-eye that you would need. Hand-eye is definitely important, but it's not really baseball. Good question. Huh. I mean, that would be the hand-eye

that you would need. Hand-eye is definitely important, but it's not fully baseball. Did you say you? Who's the best baseball player in this group? Me. Maybe Brandon.

But you can't be outside. Be outside. I think I'm a better... You're not allowed to come. Are you the best baseball player? Yeah, in this room. Are you playing... I don't know.

I could probably... Yeah. We did swings, and my swing was 10 times better than yours. That wasn't baseball? I don't know. I could probably see you. Yeah. He did swings and my swing was ten times better than yours. That wasn't an actual swing.

Throw a ball, that's a swing. The hell are you talking about that wasn't an actual swing? That's not an actual swing.

You weren't trying? No, you can't. Your swing when a ball is thrown to you is different from your swing when you're trying

to just swing. Sass has the nicest swing, but Brandon's the best player, or Big Cat's a better player than I'm better than

him. What are we judging this off of? What position did you play? Your ability to play baseball, I would assume. What position did you play? I played first base. And you're not the best player? For high school? I unfortunately also played first base. I'm tall. I'm tall. They put the tall guy on first. Yeah, they do put the tall guy on first.

They do put the tall guy on first. Is anybody a short guy? We got a short guy for shortstop. Shortstop over here. Any state champions in baseball in the room? Oh, just me? Well, you're not in the room. What are you talking about? State champion.

What? 16 to 18 year old Babe Ruth. Really? Hell yes, TJ. That's way too many descriptors to call a fucking player.

Yeah, that's not a... TJ right there? I'm on the plaque. Really? Show us the plaque. Well, we're going to play softball. We're going to get a softball team in Chicago.

I'll have to fly out for that. You see that swing in person. I don't know why you're offended. I hit bombs. Do we get to come out for case races when you guys are in Chicago? You get to come out for everything and anything. You could actually even come out and get a house or an apartment and stay there. Yeah.

Multiple days in a row. I think my case race days. Months even. You could stay for months even. Split the house with these guys. Oh, yes. You guys will be there for case races. We'll get a house.

Christmas for everything. In our most recent studio meeting, I was like, hey, I think it would look good if we had a boy dad logo just on a wall. Oh, awesome. So dope. You build it, they will come. Can we see a picture of your guys' current studio? It's just all brown right now.

Most recent iteration of it? That works. Decided to go straight brown. What happened to Industrial Beach? It was too hard to... The human brain couldn't process it. It's like saying Cthulhu. Like wood?

Cthulhu? The last I saw, the last render I saw, it looked pretty cool. I was happy with it. Let us see it. I want everything saw, the last render I saw, it looked pretty cool. I was happy with it. Let us see it. I want everything to be the same shade of brown so you can't tell where chairs are. There's no depth. It looks flat.

Let us see it. What's that color of black that's the deepest black ever? It's like Vantabrown is what you're doing. Yeah, we asked for Vantabrown. The brown is brown. Absolutely no light can pierce it. It's going to be sick. Brandon, how about yours?

Whatever Titus decided, I guess. Why does he get to decide? He's a better baseball player. That's a great question, right? He's Brandon's boss. You should play a game of one-on-one baseball, Titus. Why? Oh, yeah.

Why bother you so much? Well, it was just because you were like, I'm the best. I am. But you're not. I am. I am. No, you so much. Well, it was just because you were like, I'm the best. I am. But you're not. I am. I am. No, you're not. How do you know?

Did you play baseball? Everyone played baseball. Oh, they did. Did you play baseball, high-level baseball? What is high-level? You play high school baseball. You were in, like, minor leagues. I was playing golf.

It was minor, minor leagues. Keyball. If you didn't get to at least double A, don't talk. I think I did double A. You did. Tore it around. Yeah, that's right.

I did play double A. Right. I was on, I was getting paid to play baseball for a year. Durham Bulls. It's just a wild thing

to be like, well, I'm the best baseball player. I don't think that's wild. I do. Did you play college baseball? No. Why?

Because I played college basketball. Did you play high school baseball? Were you the shortstop on the high school team? Yeah. No, you weren't. You just said. I played double A.

I was playing double A back then. Double A, he went to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and they had a group, so that's where he played. Right. Look at this. This is a big swing. Oh, I mean, that's an ugly swing. That's an ugly swing. Oh, that's an ugly swing. That's an ugly swing.

Oh, that's a terrible swing. I'm so low. It looks like you're golfing. Because that's not an actual swing. He now hands it off to Little Sass. Oh, here we go. Certainly he won't get a run on the first pitch. Getting the sign as the haters look to close this one out.

Little Sass gathers himself. The windup. Two guys on. And that's a two-point lead. Oh, shit. Same thing. Holy crap. I mean, significantly better.

And now Pinkett has a chance to win it all. What? Why? Barrett deals. And Big Cat's. Oh. I fucking. That one.

That was effortless. That one was 450 left field. Sweet. That was pure power. Between Sass and Big Cat. Yeah. And I'll concede to Sass. He played double A.

Yeah. That was pure power. Yeah. I loved that swing. Cat. Yeah, and I'll concede to Sass. He played double A. Yeah, that was pure power. Yeah. I loved that swing. My ball still hasn't landed. I loved that swing. I loved your swing. I got Josh Gibson in the homeroom.

And Brandon. There was definitely a bad swing in that video. Yeah, there was. Two bad swings, actually, if I counted correctly. Why don't you give me a $2 bill? That was some of my winnings. It's going around. It's one of the ideas I pitched to Mark Cuban.

Counterfeit $2 bills. No one would know. Nobody would know. No one would know. Those are some in good condition, too. You would never know. If I hand you a $2 counterfeit, you would never know. Who's on the $2 bill?

Like Hamilton. Is it? No idea. What a shitty bill to be on. Nick? No, that's not Hamilton. Jefferson? Jefferson.

Oh. Wait, but isn't Jefferson on the hit? Is it the run, please? Who's on the dive? I thought Hamilton was on something. Why do you have those? Hamilton is on something, but Jefferson's on this. That's how they pay out winners in nursing home bingo.

I think he's on a 10. Jefferson's on... Who's on the dime? That's Hamilton. Oh. I think people can double up. Like, Lincoln's on multiple. Washington's on a quarter?

Lincoln's got penny and five. Pass that down, brother. I got's on multiple. Washington's on a quarter? Lincoln's got penny and five. Pass that down, brother. I've got to change it. I've got to change it to someone controversial and see how long it takes people to try it out. Andrew Jackson's the 20? Jackson's the 20. Eisenhower's the 50. We should update these.

Who's the 100? I wouldn't know. I don't know. I'm carrying around twos. Benjamin Franklin. What? Ben Franklin. Oh, yeah.

Benjamin's. It's all about the Benjamin. Oh. Yeah. Duh. Who's on Oh, yeah. Yeah, Benjamins. It's all about the Benjamins. True. Oh. Yeah, duh. Who's on the- Thousand. There used to be. Was it Grover Cleveland?

There is a thousand. I think it was Grover Cleveland. They should update. Undeserving. I need to sack a joy on something. Big Cat, you should go to the bank and try to get a thousand dollar bill. Yeah. Carry it around.

They have them? Didn't they? They used to. I don't think they do anymore. But you could probably get a collector's one. Dude, can you believe they were about to try and put Hillary on money? Dump the gun. They should put a trans on the $2 bill.

And see how long it takes for people to get pissed about it. No seconds. People are pissed that you suggested that. Then there's that saying that works, too. That's a good idea. What? That was a $3 bill. What's the saying?

Never mind. Never mind. I don't. You tell. River Cleveland. River Cleveland. See, bro? I'm fucking rocked in.

Currency and credit.com. Cleveland. Steven just found out about Bud Light the other day. Yesterday, actually. Coin collector? Fuck no. Dude, I saw something the other day that somewhere, I'm assuming in South, they were selling 24 packs of Bud Light for $1.78.

Damn. Why would you, if you drink light beer, imagine not buying that. Yeah, I feel like college kids are going to just be the benefactor of all this. Yeah. Because in college- Oh, dude, I would buy the it was literally whatever the cheapest beer was is what we bought. It didn't matter. Always cheaper not to care. Can you imagine buying, what's 10 times, 240 beers for like 15 bucks?

Like good light beers. Used to drink Mountain Creek. You don't stand for something, dude. It had old frothing sloth and it had a man with a monocle on it. It was like a nickel up. It was like worst. You guys ever drink Natty Ice? Oh, yeah.

Yes. Natty Ice. Milwaukee's best. Yeah, Beast. Schlitz. Genesee was a really nasty. Oh, my dad was a huge Genesee guy. Ams was bad.

Bulldog. Oh, Bulldog was. Oh, what about Red Dog? Oh, Red Dog. That's what I'm thinking about. Red Dog. Red Dog. Remember Red Dog?

We used to cut the Red Dog off. Oh, yeah. Red Dog was- Case and wear it as a mask. It was fucking awesome. Paps. What was the other one? Oh, Boozer.

I like Paps. I don't know why that gets such a bad rep. It's like a hipster. I like it, too. What was the Black Label one? Was it called Black Label? Oh, Schlitz was another one we used to drink. Schlitz.

Schlitz. Our buddies had a vending machine with all the different buttons, but whatever you hit, a Schlitz came out. Oh, that's great. Yeah, it was great. Schlitz.

You turn on your mic to laugh. Mountain Creek was like the worst beer ever. I think it was... I've never heard of it. 24, can you look it up, TJ? Is it just Wisconsin area? I think it was like

bottom of the barrel, like whatever, like the runoff. Ooh, we should do a case race with some like a grab bag of bad cases. Oh, man. We used to do that with 40 ounces. You would put all these random, like wild stallion and all the gross... I guess it was not really a great brand. And you had to reach your hand in and

whatever you got. We should do Edward 40 hands. Yeah. That sounds awesome, too. I feel like no one wants that i feel like i'm like case race every day i'm like we should do it we gotta do this case race that the friday beer sober sober doesn't drink pregnant friday beers do bomber sketch of with 40 with edward 40 hands and it's so fucking funny yeah it's just like they they start and then instantly everyone starts getting like hurt but wait for Dana's version. Those guys are very good. Yeah, it's fucking... There it is. Oh, Mountain...

Yeah, Mountain Creek. Mountain Creek. 5.5. God, it was bad. Look at that. Delicious. I've never seen that. There's also a beer called Beer 30. It's a good name 30 it's a good name

it's a good name yeah um should we watch the sketch if it's so funny no I mean I don't want to just

steal like like copyright their video it's not copywriting we're we're like a three minute video I don't think we can just play their sketch

Edwards 40 hands does suck though cause you start it and it's fun and then you're like oh shit piss and yeah it's tough. I used to brass monkey a lot.

So drink down to the label and fill the rest up with OJ. Oh yeah. People said that was good. It was, I thought. But then I tried it not too long ago and it kind of smells like puke. Yeah. Yeah, it's not surprising. Orange juice kind of has that. Do you do beer pong with the death cup? That was just filled with vodka? Yeah.

Oh yeah. That sucked. This shit all sounds fun. It does sound fun. Do you ever do Boilermakers? It's just a shot of vodka and a 12 ounce beer. That's gross but sounds fun. Did you guys ever play stump in college? Yes. That was so fun. You got a hammer and a nail

in the stump. Oh yes. Very dangerous. Yeah. It's no roof ball. Drunk, very dangerous. Yeah. You use a hammer and you're just wildly wielding it.

Oh, I did that at a graduation party. It's fun. Yeah, it was a good time. I'll use one hand, yeah. Do that next case, Chris. Everyone wants to bust out the pills. They think the magic pills

will make everything more fun. Yeah, exactly. Oxy 80s. Yeah. You can't just enjoy the beer. I had to have a full Oxy-80s. Sophomore year, they need them pissed. I got to slide the time release off of Oxy-80.

On your arm. Were you ever into beer? I drank Heineken's and Lone Bros. You're not like a beer guy. No, I was only really marijuana. I was a big druggie in 10th grade and 11th grade, but really ended there. Heroin or?

No, no, no, no, no. Acid, mescaline, oxys. How's mescaline? Mescaline is like taking speed and acid, but without trails. Yeah. Someone's not going to melt in front of you, but you're going to be high intellectually, high sensitive, and laugh your dick off. Hunter S. Thompson used to do a lot of mescaline. Yeah, he's always talking about it.

Isn't it going extinct? Is it being harvested too fast? I don't know. I don't even know if it's still a thing. I never heard about it until I read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Is it a pill? It's a pill. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's a pill. What was the cactus one? Peyote's going? That's Peyote. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stu, what drug do you think has the highest ceiling? Meaning what? The best possible feeling.

Well, I mean, it's by far cocaine. It's not even close. Oh, no, no. Molly. Molly by far. Yeah. I'm going to go out and say definitely heroin. Wait, wait.

Let me just say, I never did Molly. Oh, well, I mean, you fucking did. I never did Molly. I never did Adderall. I never well, I mean, you fucking did. I never did Molly. I never did Adderall. I never did, you know, I haven't done a drug besides marijuana in, you know, like since 82, besides cocaine, let's say. It's gotta be heroin, meth, or crack. But you never did heroin.

But like, I'm picturing like at a concert you do and have the best possible experience. I feel like meth might not be the most. Crack's gotta be awesome. I feel like meth. You gotta go on r slash meth. It to have the best possible experience. I feel like meth might not be the most. Crack's got to be awesome. I feel like. You got to go on r slash meth. It might be the best. What does meth feel like? Like oxys?

It's a downer, right? No, it's the other way. It's upper. Quite the opposite. Yeah. Meth is an upper. Yeah. Oh, methadone.

My dad would go five days. Oh, they would get. But I used to drop my people who wait. Let's say if a concert went on sale on a Monday, but you had to be online Friday afternoon. So I would get a ton of heroin addicts to fucking just wait there because they needed money to buy heroin. And I gave them their money and then I would have to drop them at a methadone clinic because they were trying to get off the heroin. They would take methadone. So methadone is an upper.

Well, methadone and meth are different things. Oh, crystal meth. It's methadone. Crystal meth. So it's more of an amphetamine. methadone and meth are different things. Oh. Crystal meth. Methadone. Crystal meth. Got you. So it's more of an amphetamine. Got you. Got you.

Got you. But I think that's- Making bad is the crystals, right? Yes. Is that what he did? Yeah. It was like make you clean a bathroom with a toothbrush or something. Mm-hmm.

Just kind of like a productive drug. Just clean the fire in your house. Have you done it? In the meth forum, that's what they say. They justify it. Be like, I'm very productive on it. People compare it to Adderall. Is it highly addictive, though?

It painted half the roof one night. It's like one of the most addictive, I think. I think there's just some places that have a lot of it. It just had a white roof. Oh, like where? Like Arizona and shit. You cleaned the whole roof? The Nazis were on it.

You painted the roof? Oh, yeah. Baseball players used to be on it. Greenies. Greenies, yeah. They used to put it in baby cough syrup It used to be forever Now it's in Adderall

What is the old Adderall? Benzadrine? Benzapine? Do you like Adderall? Is anybody on Adderall? Has anyone tried it? I took Adderall for years Kids did when they

Studied in school Yeah I took it If you need it It works It's like any drug No one needs it But if you don't need it It's just

So but what does it do It literally focuses you Well it just makes you like Makes you a fucking zombie Oh it's So it's an energy Per se Yeah pretty much

But it's not mind altering It doesn't No no hallucination No no I mean does it zone you in where you have laser focus? It makes you... It makes you...

You lose all of your emotions. And it's much different taking it, like, prescription than being like, oh, I'm fucked up. Let's take Adderall. I left here at the old office at midnight

and drove straight to Indianapolis on Adderall, and I don't think I stopped once. So it's meth. I think, yeah. Use it when you're writing material. You should once you start. No, don't.

Because it's going to, it numbs. Sue's already on Adderall. It numbs all of your personality and stuff. Right. Or at least it doesn't matter. You become a zombie when you crash. Yeah. No, just when I was on it.

I would become more energetic when it would wear off. I think it's a cheat code. When I was on it, it would be like I had on it. I would become more energetic when it would wear off. I think it's a cheat code. When I was on it, it would be like I had no feelings. And I wouldn't focus on school because school sucked, so I would just stare out the window aggressively for six hours straight. That doesn't sound like fun. No, it's terrible. That's why

I stopped taking it. School's not fun as is. Is it addicting? Pat's been on it for like 20 years and he can't he's like, I don't know how to not be on it and he he'll be awake for like my baby dad he'll be awake for like two days straight just just and then he'll crash and then but like he can't put in your business out there beef but figured out the shortage has been tough but he doesn't care but like is there still a shortage yeah it's tough what do you do ration you Ration? You gotta ration. You gotta talk to friends. You gotta figure it out. I took everything. I took

Adderall, Concerta, Vyvanse. What are the other ones? Estratera. Ritalin. Took them all. Took everything. Because you needed it or because you were trying it out? They just made me test everything. It was insane. When you were a kid? I was like 12. They were like

alright, Adderall doesn't seem to work. You're just a bad kid. Try Vyvanse. You just were a bad kid. I just didn't want to do my homework. Right. They were like, well, something has to be wrong with him. And then my mom was like, yeah, he has no personality anymore.

He's like numb. And they were like, we're probably going to have to put him on some antidepressants. Like with the Adderall. Just keep piling it on. Yeah. And then my mom was like, yeah, you're not taking that anymore. I was on 80 milligrams of Stratera when I was in high school, which is enough to turn you into a not real person.

And then I've taken since then 30 milligrams of Vyvanse, and it's the hardest drug imaginable. So the fact of giving a kid two and a half times that is fucking nuts. What was that for? Roan, attention? Attention. In high school yeah I was taking it

for attention yeah no I meant ADD ADD yeah yeah yeah but I got skinny and my grades

went through the roofs too so I mean my grades you get a lot better like a lot better I went from like three like six to like three nine or like three two to, like, 3.9 or, like, 3.2 to, like, 3.8.

Well, that's what's important. Not you. I went from, like, 1.9 to 2.5. You had a 1.9? Freshman year, yeah. What an idiot. Failed multiple classes. That's kind of badass.

You embarrassed when you were getting, like, tests handed back? Yeah. Mortified. Nice job. Nice job. That word. Have you ever gotten a test handed back and you literally got a 0%

you like tried you tried you can't get a 0 but I've gotten tests 22% and you're like holy fuck I got back see me after class

fuck me what's the business school one MCAT No that's GMAT I took that and I thought I nailed it I got like a 610 Or maybe it was even like a 590

If you get lower than a 700 You can't go to business school Yeah Coming out of a test confident Then you come back the next day and it's in teens It's never good If you get lower than a 700, you can't go to business school. Yeah. Coming out of a test confident, then you come back the next day and it's in teens. It's never good. Brutal. Y'all are fools. It would be mortifying.

It was just because I didn't study. What subjects was whipping your guys' asses? You guys were getting zeros in 18s? I was so bad at math. What's the class about strategics and ratios? Alk? No. He wouldn't know.

It's not philosophy. It's ratios. Strategics and ratios? I don good at. Strategics and ratios and... Calc? No. You wouldn't know. It's not philosophy. It's... Ratios. Strategics and ratios? I don't know. There was a class I took in college where I got like zeros on and then I just stopped going.

I was like, I just don't want to show my face here anymore. Did you guys ever do... I did multiple times in high school and college where I would just drop down a level and then dominate. I was in chemistry held back.

When everyone was in biology, I was in chemistry held back. When everyone was in biology, I was in chemistry in the community. Yeah, like I did Spanish and then I had to take Spanish in college. I did intro to Spanish and I had already done

like three years of Spanish. I was terrible at Spanish, but then intro, it's like the easiest thing ever. I dominated. Yeah, and being good at a class, you feel like a genius.

The best. You're just relearning everything you already learned and no one else knows it in the class and you're just like a genius. The best. You're just relearning everything you already learned. Yeah. And no one else knows it in the class, and you're just like the man. Dude, in chemistry in the community, they were using my shit as examples. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

This is how you all should be. I was like, this is- Yeah, it's the best. It's too much. You just want- Once I figured out that hack of like, oh, I can just keep dropping down? Yeah. Like every year, instead of progressing, I just go back and do it again?

They put me in field biology. Like biology is the easiest science and they had to put me down into field. We just went behind the high school and collected bugs. Yeah. And that was all we did the whole set. And then in the end you presented all the bugs you caught and that was it. The best. Yeah.

That's what all the biology kids in my class did too. They would go collect bugs and I was allowed to collect bugs because I was in a different class. But I did well in high school after that. You can't recover from failing classes, though. Yeah. Like, starting off your GPA in high school with failing classes, it's impossible to recover from. You should have quit.

Brandon, you're on edge, brother. Pretty much did. Is it because the clock's not working? No, I'm fine. Did you get your Chick-fil-A? I'm fine. Chick-fil-A here. I'm enjoying myself.

Hearing about you guys in the school and stuff. Then I fucking aced college, and I dropped out. I went out with a, I had all A's and B's. Yeah, college is easy. College is easy. It was easier than high school. Colleges, you either go to the class or you read the book. You go to class, you're going to pass.

Or you could just pretend, and they'll still give you a pretty good grade. I would do half and half. Half the classes, I would just read the book, never go to pass. Or you could just pretend and they'll still give you a pretty good grade. But like, I would do half and half. I would half the classes, I would just read the book, never go to class and half the classes, I would go to class and never read the book.

If you just have a rapport with the teacher too, that goes a long way. High school was a fucking nightmare, dude. I remember like, I remember like walking in between classes and then randomly seeing

my parents in the school. Why? Because they were like meeting with the principal. That wasn't random at all. Oh no. They wouldn't, my parents wouldn't tell me. Why? Because they were like meeting with the principal. That wasn't random at all. Oh, no. My parents wouldn't tell me. Then I'd just be like walking

and I'd be like, is that my dad? Fucking nightmare. You must have randomly been there. And then you just got to sit in school for the rest of the day being like, I'm going to get fucking screamed at

when I get home. It sucked. Oh, God. That's funny. What were they trying to figure out? Putting on more drugs. Why do they scream at you? It's not your fault that you need to be on drugs?

I wasn't doing my... I wouldn't do my homework. Did you attend class? I mean, did you go? Homework sucks. They skip a lot. You shouldn't... I can't see you not doing your homework.

I feel like you'd be too neurotic to not turn something in. Dude, I would be in the bathroom with the paper up against the wall trying to scribble that. Because a lot of classes, they would just look to see if you even tried the homework. Right. And I'd be like, I didn't even try. Oh, that was the best on math tests? Yeah. On math tests?

Yeah, they just give it a glimpse. You figured out that you could look at the back of the book for every odd number answer, and you just scribble showing your work? Dude, in Spanish, Spanish was the bad one. Spanish was my rough one. number answer and you just like scribble yeah showing your work dude in spanish spanish was the bad one spanish was my rough one and uh i would use google translate for the homework obviously and i'd finish in 30 seconds but then we would go around the class and we would translate the entire paper and i would never know how to translate it and she would make me get the dictionary and scroll through the entire thing and it would take like 10 minutes. The whole class waiting for me to figure out what it meant.

It was so bad. Could never be KB. KB's a rock star, bro. I guess Geography beat Champ in St. Vincent's history. I'm fucking the worst at Spanish. Did you win at Geography, B? Two. Whoa.

Hell yes. What was the question that you wanted? What was the winning question? I don't remember. Lie. You bodied a bunch of eighth graders. I just memorized everything. It's not a skill.

Or it is. I don't think it's a skill. Did you just go across the map corner by corner? How do you study for that? No, not like that. They would give us... There was a geography B book that my mom made me read. What's the biggest lake in Asia?

The Caspian Sea? I don't know. Deepest Baikal? That's you? Youngest in history. What the fuck? Everybody else is in the small. That's all I was.

That's because I was a toddler. He demolished the adult competition. Oh, the Caspian Sea. He got it right. That's not a hard one. You're shorter than this dude's thigh next to me. I look so short in that picture. It's the highest mountain in Europe.

It was hanging on my wall, and every day I would wake up shortly. Look at that picture. Shortly. I was so depressed about my height. And then just study the fuck out of some geography. I have to go to Princeton. It's a high mountain. It looks so old, too.

It looks ancient. They're adults. You beat adults. That dude behind you is 36. We thought he was. He had the skills of a 36-year-old. Rest in peace, Mr. Wisekircher died shortly after. We thought he was. He had the skills of a 36-year-old football. Rest in peace, Mr. Wise Kircher died shortly after.

Mr. Wise Kircher did? Mr. Wise Kircher did. All right. He wanted to see me go to the National B so bad. That's what he was holding out for, like survival-wise. Like Joe Paterno? I've choked so hard at the State B. What happened? So I just can't take pressure.

I was like, in the spelling bee, I misspelled graph. How did you spell it? G-R-A-P-H? I freaked out. You FF'd graph? I couldn't handle the pressure

of spelling in front of the crowd. Misspelled graph and Newton. My boy Logan Seidler put hyphen in background in the spelling bee. He said hyphen out loud.

You're an idiot. I knew you were a champion. It was probably your brain just freeing you from the intense moment It was like, oh, we know this answer We're going to get this wrong A little flight for What was that, first round? The practice round Then I missed Newton in the third round

Newton Proper noun? It's a proper noun That's on them It it's gotta suck to win things and be photographed and then just be so tiny yeah and then my biggest fish ever was with peers my age and i looked that short in that what was your i had that hanging on my wall as well as a reminder to every morning as you woke up on your twin size bed sideways what'd you get wrong in the state geography? I don't remember this shit. This was the oath.

You have to remember bro that shit would obviously drive you crazy. I don't. Really? You blocked it out? Do you remember

your winning question? With a fish the fish would look bigger next to you. Like that's a good thing. You'd be a great kid to go fishing

with. But my two friends were flanking me. They were smaller fish but they were... Mackenzie, the dude in that picture is younger brother, and Derek. They were both on pace to be

6'7". Slowed down. They were like 5'8". But they were on pace. Some kids peter out early. Oh, fuck. Brandon, you didn't talk nothing about your fucking school in Mississippi.

Everything you guys have said is also true of me. I graduated a year late because in my 10th grade year I missed 57 days. Whoa. I didn't go. Why?

I didn't go. I didn't go to school. What were you doing during the day? I would just go to my friend's house and sleep. Yeah, but I couldn't imagine having the free will

to not go. Did you go to the barn? Did I go to the barn to sleep or did I go to my friend's house to sleep. Yeah, but I couldn't imagine having the free will to not go. Did you go to the barn? Did I go to the barn to sleep or did I go to my friend's house to sleep? Or did you sleep in the barn? I'd go park my car somewhere. That sounds like a downgrade. I'd go park my car somewhere and sleep, or I would drive to get breakfast, wait for my mom to go to work,

and then just go back home because she was the only one there. Were you sleeping on hay at the barn? Everywhere, anywhere I could. It's worse than just sitting in class. I'm a 57-day-old. This is way worse than class. She figured out that you'd miss it.

Rather just be in math. She's surrounded by shit, but at least I'm not at a desk. 10th grade, and 11th grade, she got tired of it and she took me out

of the school I wanted to be in and she put me in the academy with all the white kids and I didn't like that. This is nothing like any of us had.

I know. I was pretty similar to you guys. I just slept on hay. I know. It was pretty similar to you guys. I just slept on hay. I had to go to Oak Hill for a year. You skipped school to sleep in a barn? I had to go to Oak Hill for a year, and I didn't like that, so I got my grades right, and then I went back to West Point,

and then I graduated. Wait, what? Sleeping in a barn sucks. What was it about school? Was it the classes were hard, or were you getting bullied? So what happened was. Oh, you were cracking skulls in high school. You weren't getting bullied.

I'm relatively smart, okay? Okay. I was in the smart. Second smartest probably in the office. Oh, you were like Elon Musk. You were like, I'm a freak genius. I was relatively smart and I was in all the AP. I was in all the top classes, okay?

And then I didn't go to school and my grades started to slip. And their response to that was to put me, to bring me back down. That's the life hack. But I went the other way. It wasn't a life hack to me. It was just super boring. Oh. I would just not do anything.

Why were you skipping in the first place? The school sucked. The school sucks. Why would you just sleep in your car instead of of park at the barn and sleep in the car. That's kind of what I mean. I would sleep in the car. Do you understand why you slept all day? No, I didn't sleep all day.

I would sleep until like 10, 11, and then I'd go home. I mean, school is also weirdly early. So early. It's long. It starts at like 7. It should be seven hours long every day. Brainwash has to think 3.30 p.m. was freakishly late. Yeah.

My son's school next year starts at 7.30. That's crazy. I would get to school at 7.30 every day. I think I went to the bus stop at like 5. You remember how tired you were when you woke up? They should start later and they should have no homework. It should be from like 9 to 2. That's plenty of school.

The first day of high school when you have to get up super early for that bus is unfathomable. The worst. It's the worst thing ever in life. What the fuck is about to happen to me? I had to ride the bus. And then you get to college and you don't have to get up. It's like the best thing in the world. That became a problem for me in college. When I skipped my first class

I was like, oh shit, I can just not go. Yeah. That's what I did. We had like three absences per class allowed. And I was like, well shit, I can just not go. That's what I did. Because you had like, we had like three absences per class allowed. And I was like, well, I'm never sick. And then I got the most sick I've ever been in my entire life. And I. Of course you did. No, I used all my absences.

And then like a month later, I got mono. And then I was like, I'm going to fail out of college because I can't miss any more classes. But I'm so sick. Yeah, they didn't even take attendance at Wisconsin. I'm going to fail out of college because I can't miss any more classes, but I'm so sick. Yeah, they didn't even take attendance at Wisconsin. I still dream to this day that I'm missing attendance. 300-person classes? Oh, yeah, I didn't have that. I have those dreams.

I dream that I missed the entire semester and I've got a test. I dream that all the time. My most embarrassing moment was college attendance in my life. Have I told this story? No. Oh, man. The clickers were down, and so she was just like, we're going to do attendance old school.

It was a big, big-ass room, too. She had something to prove. It was art history. So they did attendance at West Virginia? Yeah. Clickers? What are the clickers?

You go there, and she would ask a trivia question. You had to answer it. Like, not a trivia, but like an art history question. Jesus Christ. A question.

I didn't know that. I've never heard of that. So what happened? She was going slowly, and I'm T, Teraney. So she's like just starting the S's. So I'm like, I was practicing in my head all, do I say present? Do I say here?

Do I say this, that? I was worried. And I was sitting next to a group of kids who I thought were pretty cool, trying to impress them. And I was just like, I wasn't friends with them. And she got to me way too quick. She started the S's, so I took a drink of water. And she got to my name as quick she started the s's so i took a drink of water and she got to my name as soon as i was swallowing the water and i said present at the same time but

i try to be loud so it was just like nick teraney and then i just go present oh it was it was everybody just looked at me like you're why what the fuck was that what was that and it was that pre or post that key and peel sketch because if? Because if it was post Key and Peele sketch... Way pre. What's the pre-post one where he's doing the attendance? That was like 2013 or 14. Yeah, because that became like a big, like if you said present, everyone was like, oh, I didn't even know that was...

Fuck, that guy's funny. Oh, shit. Yeah, I was saying present. I thought saying present would be funny. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, but they took attendance. I don't think there was ever attendance in college for me. Yeah, it was usually through clickers, though.

It was easier for them. Yeah, that's easy. I used to make all my classes Tuesday and Thursday. I didn't have school. I didn't have college on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. I had five days. I'd do like nine hours of classes on Tuesday and Thursday. I would have class Monday and Tuesday from 7 a.m. to

7 p.m. both days and then I wouldn't have class Wednesday through Sunday. How long did you go to college? A year. Is there horses in the barn? No, we don't have horses. Any other animals?

Your family's barn? A little barn mouse? There was probably mice and stuff. Barn owl? We never had animals. We never had a farm. Just worms? Just worms, yeah, and rabbits.

But at this point, the rabbits were gone. Killed them? What you would do is you would have the rabbits in cages, and they would shit down into the topsoil. For the worms? The worms, yeah. Oh, look at that. Yeah. What kind of self-sustaining ecosystem of poop. down into the topsoil. For the worms. Oh, look at that.

Self-sustaining. Ecosystem of poop. Do rabbits eat carrots? No, I don't remember. I think it's alfalfa or something. It's like lettuce and stuff. Is that one of those ones where you just... Yeah, that's a cartoon thing. I bet they would like it.

They eat a lot of straw. Sleep on hay. Show to horses, bro. I was hanging out with some horses this past weekend. Where were you? I'm scared of horses. Virginia, really? No.

They probably know that. Yeah, I don't like horses. I can feel it. Too big. Way too big. I don't fuck with. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yeah.

That's scary as hell. It is. Horses, realizing how big they are is the worst. They can too big. I don't fuck with, have you ever ridden a horse? Yeah. That's scary as hell. It is. Horses, realizing how big they are is the worst. They could take over. Yeah. I'd fuck a horse up, though. They're also, like, broken. Like, literally, that's the term for it.

Like, they're, like, so sad of creatures that, like, they're, like, subservient to humans. Like, horses are broken animals. How did that happen? I relate. You have to break a horse. There's, like, a movie about convicts breaking horses. We're really impressive as humans to have broken horses and other animals that we've broken.

Especially horses. Do you ever feel bad for those horses? Like American horses who are trapped in all those, they're stuck in a barn, and then when I went to Iceland, they're just fucking, they're having a blast out there. They have wild horses.

Like 30 of them, and they just hang out. They're cold as shit. Hell no. Cold. Horses get cold. They have wild horses. There's like 30 of them, and they just hang out. Is it cold as shit? Hell no. Is it cold? Horses get cold. They have long ass... Oh, they make horse blankets.

They have like bangs. The horses in Iceland had bangs. Trendy. Yeah, I love that. They're cool as hell. And they just stare at you, and they just go... They go what? They eat all sideways.

Zoom in. Did you see... Wait, a horse made that sound? Pretty good How'd they eat It's a pretty good horse It was a good horse chew It was good

Cows do the same thing Cows chew like that Cows are awesome They're friends too They all love each other I went to this like Farm They are

They do And the The cow was alive and fine And standing there But there was a hole In the side of it Yeah it happens a lot And you could watch the grass

Moving from stomach to stomach They have like six stomachs. Sass brought up... Yeah. I brought that up and everyone was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, no.

But the cow seemed like fine. We had a cow with a hole in it. Really? Mr. Mistake, yeah. Yeah. I think I brought up the wrong reason that they had the hole.

Whatever. I'm sorry, Sass. I shouldn't have given you a hard time about that. Is that where Swiss cheese comes from? Probably. I would think so. Holes.

Yeah. Oh, people got mad at me because I said that cows aren't supposed to eat cord. They are? They digest it, right? Yeah. You don't want to get on that. Oh, cow farmer Twitter gets mad. Okay.

Farmers will come after you. With what internet? They get pissed. If you give a cow corn? If you talk about that. I'd be my next TikTok. I'm running out of TikTok ideas. Stay tuned.

Hey, these guys kind of suck at the horns. This doesn't seem unusual. I'd stop what I was doing to watch this as well. I would absolutely stop. Beautiful cows, though. All right. See how they're all paired up in twos? That's because that's their best friend.

They do. They have best buddies. I think it's the same exact number of them. Every cow has a buddy. That's, like, true. Those cows right there were not paired up in twos. There's an even number of them. There's an even number of them all next to each other.

That's not paired up in twos, Sass. Go back to the cows. Brandon, I'm telling you the facts. That's not paired up in twos. That's just happened to be 16 cows maybe. If their best friend leaves or dies. I'm going to say there might have been an odd number of cows there. There wasn't.

I counted before I said it. How many were there? I don't remember. I just counted in twos. That makes sense. Checkmate. We got another, oh yeah,

Barstool Sports Store. End of the free Home of the Brave. Shop USA merch now on the Barstool Store. Store.barstoolsports.com July 4th merch.

They got the Dude I Love Freedom shirts, the Man I Love Freedom shirts, Dilf Milf. They got some sick jackets that I wore. American flag jackets. Nick, what you wearing?

Oh. Until this bitch. Barstool Sports Store. Got it all. The material. It's not the usual t-shirt material either. It's like a... Biggest graphic in the store. Yep. Is that true? Is that true? I don't know. The gun says badass.

Untell this, bitch. Gee. That is a sick shirt. It's a papa's. Yeah, so go to the store.barstoolesports.com. All your 4th of July merch now in store. Great new stuff. I think we got some new hats.

New everything. Some part of my take here. Come on. Yeah. Some boy dad. ZBT shirts, the America Undefeated shirts, 100% of the proceeds

go towards, we're going to help renovate VFW posts. Recrochables. New Amsterdam. Oh, recrochables. Yeah, how did those, was that the last show yesterday?

No, we got about two or three more. And Lemmer said he's looking for a new nut. Huh? Oh, he is? Yeah. We put one in the can yesterday.

In the can as in you got rid of it? No. That's what I think that means, right? No, that's not what in the can means. I mean, a lot of things. What are you going to do if Clemmer keeps doing this and it becomes a smash hit? I would shake his hand and be happy for him. That would be awesome.

That just doesn't seem right. He has like the biggest podcast of Barstool Sports. Oh, that would be awesome. And I would definitely weasel my way back in if that happened who's he gonna find no idea i helped him launch it i helped him get it going and now i i'm gonna be you're gonna let him free yeah let him free let him let him swim on his own i need stella blue right now a cup of stella. We have some in the kitchen. Yeah. I'm going to get one. Yeah. Fuck yeah. You dragging a little bit?

Okay. I'm calorie depleted. Yeah, you look good. How long have you been doing that now for? Seven weeks. Seven weeks. You look good. Yeah.

I like your shirt, too. It's like kind of a sweater, but not. I know. It's very nice. I went to Macy's with my son, Ryan, and I bought this exact outfit. I bought socks. You bought that outfit. That's great. I bought 39. outfit. I bought that outfit. They were 39. They were 34 29s and I still had to get them shortened

to 28. What a wild measurement. Good for you. I was like, do you have a husky section? They're like, no, we don't have a husky section. You're not husky. Yeah, you're not Husky. You just look like a guy.

No, you don't. I see you with your shirt off. You look strong. They want me to weigh 140 pounds. I'm 182. They want you to weigh 140? 140? I didn't show you.

I showed you my picture. Well, I put the picture online. Did you see the picture of me at 140? Yeah. I weigh more than that. What's he doing now? Getting a bag. He at 140? Yeah. I weigh more than that. What's he doing now? Get in the bag. Get in the bag.

He's got his purse. He's got a bag in the bag. His little purse. Oh, it's a phone. He's getting up. He's showing you a tweet. He's going to show you a tweet. Why are you?

I'm showing you something. Shoes are very shiny. Beautiful gold watch. Is it, though? Holy fuck. Stu Feiner. Nice. Oh, it's not a...

Phenomenal dresser. Oh, my God. Stylish man. Stu Feiner. Oh, Stu. Stu Feiner wears a women's... Oh, you got it. You got it.

Stu Feiner wears a woman's watch. Holy shit. Me and my brother... I posted it. Me and my brother... He does. ...he would go to a does. And he would... I mean, my brother's like

a guy on the left. Big, giant. And, you know, almost 300 pounds. And he would hustle people. They'd put anywhere between a dollar and five dollars in a hat. And then he would say, in seven minutes, this guy could do 500 push-ups, 500 sets, right here and right now.

And I would bang him out. And we'd take everybody's money. And then everybody would want to buy me shots afterwards because they would be like, yeah. And I was only drinking water. Like, I only drank water. I didn't drink club soda, diet soda, not fucking nothing. Water. And they would get pissed.

They'd be like, you're a fucking asshole. How happy were you at that time? It was the best time of my life. I was wearing thousand dollar outfits every day. I couldn't spend enough money on clothes. Are you kidding me? I looked like a fucking million dollars. Stu, have you always worn a woman's watch?

This is not a woman's watch. This is my wife's watch. My wife bought it for me. That was subliminal. Subliminal. I can't spell it. I barely can say it.

No, it's my Cartier. Yeah, no, it's a women's watch. And your anniversary. Very nice. Very small face. Old standard of watch. I like it. Small person. I'm 5'4".

Got the little Cartier. Record it. Surreal strength, though. What? It's surreal strength. Yes. Real Smith, surreal strength, and surreal stamina. Who would play you in a new. Big Bam Bam. Will Smith, surreal strength and surreal stamina. Who would play you in a new movie of your life?

Will Smith? Although we have been body doubles, yes. Ernst Reuer? No, I mean like if you're asking me who would I want? Leonardo. Who else would you want? I got to go Leonardo. Leonardo.

I'm trying to make that happen. Right? Well, I mean, let me get to step one first let's let somebody would you want to play yourself if there was a new movie well i'd want to be in the movie a hundred percent not play yourself i'm too uh like oh it's like a younger too old yeah i mean my my my hate well i mean my heyday still now but i mean my heydays you know i would i would need someone to play me as a seven in the 70s and the 80s, 90s. Would you do a documentary instead of a movie?

Because I would watch a documentary about your life. Sue tried to make a reality TV show. Yeah, I would watch that. You were bigger then. Remember your reality TV show? What was it called? I don't know. What was it called? I didn't have a reality TV show.

We only made a sizzle reel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You find it, TJ? You made a sizzle reel for a reality television show. Yeah, me and my father and three people that worked for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was great. I watched the sizzle reel. Did you like it? Yeah, I would have bought the show. I had the means. It's a place from

London, England that flew in and they came to the office. That was a disaster. I paid like $1,800 for fucking lunch when $1,800 would be equivalent to $10,000 right now and they said that no one wanted it. Shit. I was like, what do you mean no one wanted it?

It was electric. How could no one want that? What about that show you made with Caleb? That was also priceless. Oh, Caleb is funny. That was funny. That was great. That was a priceless. Oh, Caleb is funny. That was funny. That was great. That was a documentary, so to speak.

Kind of, yeah. Morning of Scambler. Pretty good. So what's the plan with the Saquon meeting? Saquon's agent. Right, right. Well, I mean, literally to see if I have any value on a national level, if I can make a reality show or a documentary or a movie,

whatever would work, something like that, you know. You should be on one of these barstool reality shows. I feel like you'd crush it on something like that. What was the reality show called, The Sizzle Reel? It's on YouTube, probably. Yeah, what was it called? I don't think there was a name for it. I don't think there was an actual name for it.

It was never named? No. Well, it's not coming up? Can't find it. Well, I think maybe when I scrubbed all my other stuff that needed to be scrubbed so I wouldn't be canceled. I might have by accident scrubbed it, but I don't think so. I think it's still there. Getting canceled might be the best thing for you at this point, though.

I don't think Sue can be canceled. I think you get canceled. That's like what the movie's about. You know what I mean? Maybe. Well, like on the OnlyStu podcast, we did something called... We? We did something called smelly vagina syndrome.

Oh, yeah, okay. And we wanted to make a shirt of a vagina and it just stunk. And then Alex said, that might be great if we do the shirt. I go, but we might get canceled because all my sexual content has destroyed my fucking,

my Twitter and my Instagram. Like, I should have millions of followers and I haven't, my followers have not my Instagram like I should have millions of followers and I haven't my followers have not moved in like five years like what's what not move a shadow ban you because of the sexual I think it was the first year for the because of the sex so we were gonna do that and I said get canceled my son Alex said that might be the best thing for you to get canceled how would it how would you make the shirt smell though yeah well no it would just it would have a vagina and it would have, like, lines coming out.

Like a... A stink line. A stink line. Right, exactly. A couple flies. Probably a couple flies. I thought the shirt would actually smell, which I feel like that's almost... Like, for example, when I jog in the morning...

Right. And I see this holy fuck drop-dead girl, like, maybe 40 yards away. And I'm like, this girl's fucking smoking. And she's in the most ridiculous outfit, tight as can be, you know, camel, everything. And I'm looking and then all of a sudden, closer she comes, I can smell she's wearing

perfume. And that's a dead giveaway. If you, if a girl has over scented perfume, like too much perfume, her vagina smells. A hundred percent. Not 99%, a hundred percent. And that's the fucking kickoff.

So that's how we did the podcast where I talked to Alex about it. He never heard of that before. That's a good podcast. It's really... I feel like there's another Alex that would like to talk like that on the podcast. It's really called Sua Vagina Pussy. Smells like a sua.

Smells like a sua. You ever play Sporkle? What is Sporkle? No. Oh, a sewer. Sewer. Smells like a sewer. You ever play Sporkle? Ravens. What is Sporkle? No. It's a great game. About that time. You think it's that time? I think so. Well, let's spin the wheel. We don't have a plan for it. We didn't come up with a plan. You can find this. Do find a reality show.

It's on my Instagram. I don't know how... Spin it. Oh, God. Name wheel. Someone pointed out the podcast listeners never know what we end up on. Ah.

Find out if something crazy happens. We didn't find out or something crazy happened. We haven't had Name Wheel in a while. Will it be TJ? Oh, yeah. As always. And I think all he has left is Gallon Milk Challenge. Oh, no. Are you spinning a wheel right now?

Yeah. I got to put our names back on it for a second. I want to see Gallon Milk Challenge. What should I TikTok about? What's going on? What about Zion Williamson and those girls? Oh my God.

That is so wild. Maybe you should start doing super old news. Talking about them right there now. Breaking news. Prince is dead. Yeah.

Princess Diana too. Princess Diana, too. I actually like that. I think that could really... A plane... Luckily, it was only... Wait a minute! This is fucked up. Super fucked up. Super fucked up.

There has to be some other shit. Other shit that's going on. Anything popping today? Maybe just start taking plots of fiction movies and start talking about them like they actually happened. Or you just read down the trending list of Twitter. Yeah, just say the one word. Yeah.

I got it. I got it. Stu, find a reality right here. Oh, send it to TJ. How do I do that? Send it to me. Did you search, TJ? Or what did you search, Stu?

Stu, find a reality. Okay, wait. I don't know how to send it to you. reality. Text that to me. I went on Twitter. How do you text that? I went on Twitter. If you put you fun in reality, it comes up.

It's like the sixth one. It's a nice material, isn't it one it's a nice material isn't it it's very nice it looks nice and it feels nice thank you I copied the link so now text it to me just press paste link look at this angle

oh is that the new cam yeah we're testing new cameras oh shit look at the thing I like that. It's the big camera in front of you guys. Oh, cool. We might be getting these for the new studio. I like this.

Give me something to throw at it. Yeah. They asked you to please not break the cameras because it costs twice as much as the other ones. They say please? Yes. And who was it? Was it Pete?

No, it was the tech gentleman. Did they say please? Yes. And who was it? Was it Pete? No. It was the tech gentleman. Silvio Berlusconi died? I could just do something about that. Did? What? All-time horny guy. Horny Hall of Fame.

Coney? Yeah. All right, spit it. It's the name wheel. Sass has some pretty good shit on this. I don't remember what I have on. I don't remember what's on there. Come on, Sass.

I sent it to you. Come on, Sass. Let's see. Protest climate change. Oh, God. Trampoline park. Smoothie draft. That all sounds good.

You remember what any of these mean? Bike everywhere. Sass orders you lunch. Protest climate change. I don't know what extra dry is. I think it just means we stay dry. Don't shower for a second at a time. You get blow dried.

Someone blows your cock. Chicken that you ordered. Restaurant, extra dry. You ordered extra dry. Martini, extra dry. A lot of things could be extra dry. Oh, God. Who has to do this?

What is this? This is something that I would kind of want to do anyway. This was during the time period where people were going into, like, the Louvre and spraying. Oh, painting their hands. Tomato soup all over, like, the Mona Lisa and shit. So what are you going to do? Like, destroying, like, Van Gogh paintings. Or, like, they just did the Trevi Fountain in Rome.

They just, like, flooded the Trevi Fountain to dye the water to protest. Someone's got to figure out a protest? Yeah. You have to destroy some great work of art. You have to go to the Met. Okay. Is it protesting protest? It has to be a good protest.

No, no, no, no. Is this elimination? Is this Eliminator Wheel? It has to be good. No. I don't understand why. All right. What do you want to protest?

It's got to be climate change. Climate change. How about the new bean? Yeah. Down here in Manhattan? Manhattan bean. What if you vandalize that in a gross way? Like through red paint all over it?

Does she have to vandalize it? I'm fine with you taking a poster board. Say this again. Tape a poster board up. No one all over it. Does she have to analyze it or should she pick it in front of it? I'm fine with you taping a poster board. Say this again. Tape a poster board up. No one will tackle you. Right. Security won't tackle you. If I wear a belly shirt.

You've got to make sure. Right. See. Okay. All right. Fuck. Got this. God damn it.

This is going to be awesome. We'll do that during the 12-hour stream. Okay, great. Got this. Throw beans on the bean. What else we got? I got to run in a minute. All right.

Shocking video over this weekend from Britain. The British Royal Guard had someone pass out. Why? Maybe it was heat. Reports weren't 30 degrees Celsius, which is 86 degrees Fahrenheit. Kind of makes him a wimp. But also, maybe he heard Baby Gronk

wrist up Libby. No one can believe it. Sound off in the comments. Who edits those? Connor. I think that you could do either Zion or the Floyd Mayweather fight. You did Blackface on Tropic Thunder.

Downey Jr.? Yeah. A lot of people don't know that. Oh. That's you Broderick killed a person? Big cat. Yeah. Can I go to KFC Radio right now?

Yeah, go, go, go, go. Thank you, Stu. I love you guys so much. Don't ever take it for granted. Very grateful. I really appreciate it. Love go. Thank you, Stu. Listen, I love you guys so much. Don't ever take it for granted. Very grateful. I really appreciate it. Love you. Love you, Stu.

Maybe do... What if I had said no? I would have stayed here. What do you mean? It's not... It wouldn't have been a rebuttal. It would have been okay. They did...

Who was the guy they just interviewed? Liam Hemsworth or who? Chris Hemsworth. Oh, Chris Hemsworth. Oh, Liam. One of the Hemsworths. One of the Hemsworths. I just watched others. I just watched Cabin in the Woods last night for the Hemsworths One of the Hemsworths I just watched

Others? I just watched Cabin in the Woods Last night for the first time Super good I don't know Yeah I don't know

I don't know Cabin in the Woods is good Fascinating I just started Barry I loved the first episode Great show Who's still on it? It gets worse?

The last season is interesting Alright It's a great show. I like the show a lot. You might as well stick with it. Like, it's worth it. If your name is Barry, what's your birth name? Is it Barry?

Barreled? Bartholomew? Oh, yeah. That might be it. Or is that Bart? That's Bart. Barry could be Bart, or you could just be Barry Sanders. Burial?

Like, burial ground. Are babies just getting named Barry? Nick, did you understand Heaven in the Woods when you were watching it? No. No? No, I never understand any movie when I'm watching it. Yeah, I do. Go right to Wikipedia.

I would imagine Barry isn't a hot name right now. No. Oh, Barry Bond. Barry. Barry Goldwater. Huh. Barry Sanders, of course. Logic signed his dad to his record label. Maybe that's one for you to make. Huh. Sanders, of course. Logic signed his dad to his record label.

Maybe that's one for you to make. Okay. Oh, Logic is black. Okay, and what? That's good. Right there. That would mean a lot to him and his fans, if you reminded people. And his dad is...

Breaking news. Logic signs his dad to his record label? Yes, his dad's 69. I think his dad was super abusive. Black rapper, Logic. Signs his black dad. The guitarists of Avenged Sevenfold, his dad put out a song about moving to Arizona.

That's the only place where people can be free anymore. That's true. Good meth out there. I can't believe when I fucking tried to give the shaka to Diego earlier. To Diego? Diego. Diego. That's his name?

Diego Rodriguez. My name in Spanish. Is it? No. Does that mean like James or something? Kyle, is Diego in Spanish? I don't think so. I don't think that's true, my good man.

I think Diego is Diego in Spanish. No, it's James or some shit. I asked him. I thought it was David at first, but he corrected me. Senor, Senora. But he's from New Jersey, so you know what I mean. I know what you mean. A whole different fucking vibe.

Where do you got to go, Sass? I'm doing a podcast. Shut up. Yeah. Which one? I'm doing Are You Garbage. Oh, nice. Shut up.

That was one of the most fun ones I've been on, I think. Yeah, I'm excited. It's really fun, those guys. Have you done it yet, Rowan, I think? Rowan's done it. Yeah, you've done it. I did it a while ago. That'll be freaking sick. Some Philly think. Yeah, you've done it. I did it a while ago. That'll be freaking sick.

Some Philly guys. It'll be fun. Are you going to lie to them? Probably. Yeah. Is that a big thing that people do? I would lie to them. You've got to have interesting stuff to talk about.

Yeah, I didn't have anything interesting. I don't have anything interesting. Yeah, I was more just vibing. I was just there for the vibes. I just cracked a liquid death and vibed the fuck out. I'm going have anything interesting. Yeah, I was more just vibing. I was just there for the vibes. I just cracked a liquid death and vibed the fuck out. I'm going to slug

some liquid deaths. It'll be sick, though. They're right around the corner around here. Yeah. I'm all out of TikToks. I think we're giving

you some pretty good ideas, but I get it. You want to have another one. What? Yeah, no, I'll post whatever you guys think logic that works i guess just do it on the baby gronk update no i don't know the one francis tweeted today yeah that

that's a great what was the update oh look at this oh that's they're trying to get miggy out of here for this it's bullshit that's the real question this is bad yes see i'm gonna punch him in ask that again bro say man what kind of question is that? You see my Instagram. Say that. Ready? Hey, baby, bro. Are you him?

What kind of question is that? Look at my Instagram. Would you take it apart someday? All right. Yeah, this is good. We know. Say it again, bro. You got to say, man.

This hurts my heart. This hurts. Hey, baby, Gronk. You got to say, man. This hurts my heart. This hurts. She said yes. All right, come on, man. So. Hey, baby Gronk. His dad really did rise up, Livvy. I already DM'd her and she said yes.

That's the voice of a broken child. What kind of tuxedo are you getting? OG James Bond style or what? Hey, say it again, bro. Hey, what kind of tuxedo are you getting? I'm going to get a Gucci one. Oh, this is a disgrace. Hey, what kind of tuxedo are you getting? I'm going to get a Gucci one. This is a disgrace. Hey, what kind of tuxedo are you getting?

I'm going to get a Gucci one. What are you going to do to stay sharp and keep your skills up if you're actually not going to go through with middle school and high school? Just work out. No. No, no. I'm going to get massages. Oh, my God. He can't say anything without us. Brutal.

I'm going to get some baddies. All right, ready? Where is the mother? Where is the mom? Yeah. Brutal. All right, ready? Where is the mother? Where is the mom? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, go. I saw that you're foregoing middle school and high school football. Oh, I can't watch this.

How are you going to keep preparing yourself to play college football? All right, I'm going to do that as an update. Isn't that crazy? I'm off the airwaves. Did Francis find this? What was he expecting him Did he edit that out? I don't know. That's bad.

That didn't feel good. Yeah, that was the first one that I was like, ooh, this is not that funny. Maybe I should do a Baby Diggs update. Yeah, Baby Diggs. A little lighthearted. Maybe we should take Baby Gronk And make him our Our kid as a show Yeah get custody

Raise him right Maybe we could raise him right If we just kind of Got him custody Son of a boy dad's like that right He needs a full dopamine Yeah He needs six weeks

And then he needs to come to us So it's a process It's doable Yeah he could get here Saved We could save him But his dad needs to let him live.

I don't know what's the best route here. Continue to shame the dad or ignore it completely? I don't think there's any getting through to that guy. It's over. I think the dad's probably pumped. I'm saying there's nothing to do. Just gotta let it go.

See everyone tomorrow. Great show. I'm just saying, like, there's nothing to do. You just got to let it go. Yeah. Okay. All right. See everyone tomorrow. Great show. Thanks to Stu Feiner. Great show, Stu Feiner. This goes to... All right.

All right. It's the act. Get your stride, yeah, style, and taste. For a while, it's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Got a sign to talk, shop, and do. Yankees love, it's the act. It's the act.