The Yak - Teaching Klemmer How to Be New York's Hottest Influencer | The Yak 5-12-23

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

I hit dingersYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, it's the Yak. Classic Friday crew. It is the Yak sponsored by Roback. We love Roback. Best fit, best feel, the quality, the comfort material. Everything is top notch. Roback has the best joggers, the best hoodies, the best quarter zips, the best polos.

Anything you like, they have it, and their hoodies are the most comfortable hoodies we own. They're light, they're soft, they're just comfortable as hell. Use code YAK at Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week that's r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com 20 off all performance hoodies joggers and polos with code yak get ready for the spring with roback and it is uh the classic friday crew uh jokes are fun aren't they why are you wearing that shirt i got it for you i appreciate that good ass shirt thank you i don't know these players i don't think those two ever wrestled who are they at the king of the ring you know those two kyle well that's you know those two i probably triple h yeah that's on the

right and i probably know him i just let's take her. Oh, fuck. Were they in the main event of 2002? This is Raw versus SmackDown. 2002, yeah. That was the year Hulk Hogan came back and had his little farewell thing. A year after AJ Styles' debut. I guess you could frame it like that. I don't know why you... Oh, fucking Brandon, give Clemmer a 90s show. Any 90s show?

He'll tell you the cable network. No, it hasmmer a 90s show. Any 90s show? He'll tell you the cable network. No, it has to be a network show. So the four majors ideally. Grace Under Fire. That was on ABC. It was not after Roseanne. Who starred on Grace Under Fire? Rhett Butler. Not the Dodgers outfielder. A blonde woman. Big tall blonde woman.

Weird looking blonde. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Sister Kate. What now? Sister Kate. Sister Kate? I don't even remember this show. Yeah, I guess. Sister Kate. What now? Sister Kate. Sister Kate? Yep. I don't even remember this show. I've never even heard of it.

Wow. It ran for... I don't even know that. It ran for, I believe, six episodes in the fall of 1989. That's not 90s. That's not 90s, motherfucker. It was in the 89-90 season. It ran for six episodes. Sister Kate.

Don't be a dickhead about missing a 1989 show. I'm going to, because that's not the rules of the game. 89-90 was the season. Did it actually air in the 90s? It might have. Its reruns might have. Yeah, check it. Our reruns don't count.

What's up, Mook? Mook? Yeah, Mook's here. First time on the act? That's it? No. Second time. Oh.

Yeah. Second time. Stats and info will get that. Glad to be next to Clemmer. Why? Fucking old man. Feel young. Sorry, Clemmer.

Clemmer, I just. Clemmer loves that. He's not as old as he thinks he is. Yeah. How old are you? I'm 43. I'm younger than Brandon. No, you are older than me.

I am younger than you. I don't care about when I was born or when you were born. It doesn't matter when you were born. You're the oldest person on earth. You're the oldest person I know. All right. Why do you. Why are you wearing shorts oldest person on earth. You're the oldest person I know. All right. Why are you wearing shorts? Your legs are like...

It's going to be 86 degrees today. You know what, man? You've got to learn. Here's the rule. When you're on camera, you cannot expose... I was going to take your side, but that was a mistake. So here, I didn't know I was going to be on the act today, A. B, it's 86 degrees.

The rule of thumb is this. If it's 85 or more, you can wear shorts. I agree. It's very hot out here. I think it's 80 or more. Well, I'm not fat like you, so if you're skinny, it's 85. Hold on. Back off my dog, dude.

Yeah, for real. He's a fat guy. I don't think. Mook, you're stomping on sequoias. Sequoias? Your legs are big ass. Genetta, you're a freak. Yeah, I was aping on sequoias. Sequoias? Your legs are not. Big ass. Genetic, you're a freak. Yeah, I was a very fat kid growing up.

It's like the one thing. You can just tell you have the leg genetics that some people would kill for. I can't squat for shit, though. Thick legs. They're thick. You've been taking kickboxing. Imagine getting walloped by one of those things. I know.

Dude, these things are becoming weapons. I threw a flying front kick yesterday. Did you throw it at a bag or a person? Bag. Did you kick a person yet? No, I don't want to do that yet. I'm trying to wait. Do they just not let you guys yet? No. No. I'm early on in my

career here. Yeah. Is it okay that I want to see him kick somebody? I want to see him kick somebody. I want to see him kick somebody. I want to see him kick Clemmer. No, no, no, no. Clemmer. I'm old.

You've been doing this class for about four months? Two months. Two months. Two months in. So let me see if I can tell that you're two months in. No, I can't show it. Kick something. I can't show it off. I can't show it off.

There's a dummy here. Can we get the dummy at least? I want to see what you've learned in two months to see if it's worth it. Don't play with weapons. Can you kick the dummy? Would you rather be to see what you've learned in two months to see if it's worth it. Don't play with weapons. Can you kick the dummy? Would you rather be kicked by Mook right now or Clemmer? I don't know. Clemmer would be like picking a switch.

I don't know that his leg would. I think his leg would disintegrate on impact. No, I'm very skinny, but my bones work. I've never broken a bone. That's not really the judgment. That's not really the. Nothing disintegrates, though. My bones work. They've never broken a bone. That's not really the judgment. Nothing disintegrates, though. My bones

work. They're never broken. Nothing is disintegrating. None of my bones have ever disintegrated. So you know that dummy that we have in the office? I can kick him in the head without jumping or anything. You do an air kick. Yeah, alright, I will.

Luke, you can't just let him do this. Wow, see that looks like you've done a class or two. air kick. Well, yeah, all right, I will. Luke, you can't just let him do this. All right, he's going to... We're going to let Clem... Wow, see, that looks like you've been... You've done a class or two. I mean, I can do that. I'm not going to lie, that kind of hurt. You hurt yourself? A tiny bit.

Just a... Not too bad. Did you say you were fat as a kid? What did you say? Yeah, I was a fat kid. I can do that. You don't look like a fat kid. Thank you, bro.

No, uh, sixth... Fifth, sixth, seventh grade. Eighth, a little bit. You remember, Kyle? Yeah, you were a little chubby. I wore husky-sized jeans. This is a picture of me and you. I had husky jeans.

I don't have a little chubby face. I wore slims, obviously. You wore huskies. What was the regular? Was it regulars? It was called regulars. That makes sense. What did you wear, Brandon?

Huskies? No, I wore regulars. I was not a fat kid. I was a skinny kid. It happened. I got married. I got fat. I've been married twice.

I'm not. I was 6'5", 180 in high school. I was very skinny. I just don't understand what happened. Sure. I got fat. I know, but like, you just couldn't stop eating. First of all, I'm not fat.

All right. I'm not fat. Yeah. You're not fat. I'm overweight a little bit. You're New York fat. I'm overweight a little bit, but I'm not fat. I'm not fat. You're not fat. I'm overweight a little bit. You're New York fat. I'm overweight a little bit, but I'm not fat. You're gay.

The gay community, I'm obese in the gay community. In the gay community, you're damn near immobile. I haven't circled around almost adorable. Oh, I don't know. I think I've gone past fat and into it. When I was wearing the Speedo on the Dick Dock in Provincetown, Pat came up to me and was like, you are obese in our community. He did say that. Hey, Tommy.

Hey, I'm here. Nick texted me to come in. I didn't just come in. No, you didn't have to explain that. We were fine with you. You have seniority on everybody. What shirt is that? So it's from Shopping Day. It's from Urban Outfittersitter it's a shirt that says yeah i like the knicks but i'm

a little bit gay about it it's got some flowers on it yeah it's like cool bikini bottom yeah it's whatever teeny bottom so do we need clemmer to kick the dummy you know that he's kicked i mean i don't think we need him to kick the dummy we have the dummy i'd like somebody to kick the dummy where's the dummy right there there there so i went and got it kyle probably will end up doing it we'll have somebody kick the dummy at some point we will anybody in the office listening if you'd like to come kick the dummy we would we encourage it and we have one more open seat on the yak anybody wants it who's listening can come sit in this john get john rich in here is Is he here? Yeah. Tell him to come in. Okay.

Donnie just got 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. Subscribers on YouTube from a short. Once. That's insane. I didn't know that was possible for anyone. Posted a short last night. Got 100,000. That's a plaque. That is insane.

What was the short? He said it wasn't that great of a video. It was in Malta, guys running up a pole. Oh, yeah, that was a good short. It's a cool video. I didn't know those numbers were possible. Yeah, shorts are crazy. Shout out to him.

Let me get some rediscovering views. Oh, yeah. I guess we benefit from that. When's your next rediscovering? I feel like people... We had one fall through. Oh, yeah, your dream tour or cruise around the world? Yeah, so every time we're going to middle America

to see the world's largest something, that always works. But when we have a Mediterranean cruise with all of our own suites, it falls through last minute. So be it. I do think that was an all-time hustle. You guys were very close to pulling off, though. It was going to be a full month. it falls through last minute. So be it. I do think that was an all-time hustle. You guys were very close to pulling off, though. It was going to be a full month.

Mediterranean Sea, then Bartholone. Shit, if I do it. What? Shit, if I do it. Remember the video of the guy drinking the Hennessy nip? And he, like, gags it up? No. You guys got to see this. Say the smaller the bottle, the bigger the problem you'll have he like gags it up. No. You guys gotta see this.

Say the smaller the bottle, the bigger the problem you'll have. Shit, if I do. If you're drinking nips, time to take a look in the mirror. Mm-hmm. Shirts is back on,

is on the nips. Shirts is on, what? He's just ripping fireball now. Oh, did y'all invite Donnie? There's not a seat anymore. Oh, fuck. Oh, no.

Donnie! I'm not dealing seat anymore. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Donnie. I'm not dealing with this. John. Yes. That is fucking, people work. I mean, Anus has been a podcast for two years, three years, and we have 30,000. There's better. How have we not been canceled?

It's tough. I mean, yeah. So what did you have before going into that you had about 200 300 300 and now you're at 400 you've been you've had that account for damn near decade and a half yeah i didn't start it when i first worked here because barstool just like wasn't pushing youtube content so i'll like my youtube vids from my first year or two or year and a half are all either not on YouTube or on the Barstool Sports Channel. 92 million views?

92 million views, Tony? Yeah. Oh, my God. 37-second clip, and there's just people playing the sport of ghostra. You just show it? Malta. Please don't tell me we're not allowed to play our own clip. Yeah, you can play it.

If you get to the green flag, you get paid a certain amount. Oh, no, it draws you in. That black flag at the end is the biggest prize. It could be 500 euros. It could be more. Booster has been played in seaside villages. Luke, can you post on the Anis account us reacting to this in the corner? I think the next guy is going green.

Oh, maybe not. The participants ranged from doughy 13-year-olds. Legend. Jacked and tatted up dudes in their 30s. Eye of the tiger. Now, people did not like me calling the 13-year-old doughy. Oh, my God. That's an objectively doughy man.

He's doughy as fuck. He's a doughy boy. I think probably like 90% of the comments are like, how could you say that about him? He's a hell of a word to say to someone. You should respond and just be like, say he's not doughy. Yeah. He can't. Very doughy.

Doughy and proud. Oh, look. Most kids that age are kind of doughy. It's the doughiest age. I had a friend. He was super doughy. Now he's tall, slim, and handsome. You know?

Most people grow out of it. Not all. Not all. Yeah. Some remain. Yes. Dude, so tall, slim, and handsome. You know? Most people grow out of it. Not all. Not all. Yeah. Some remain. Yes. Dude, so 100,000, that's nuts. Yeah, man.

It's tough. You go zero to 100,000, you get a fucking YouTube plaque. Real quick. Before I worked for Barstool, I had a YouTube page for maybe five years, and I got up to like 16,000 subs. A lot of hard work. It feels like that's the hardest thing to grow on. Yeah, it is.

And now YouTube Shorts is changing that. There's so many people who are like, oh, yo, Donnie, you don't need Barstool. You should go off on your own. It's like, dude, I tried doing this on my own for five years. I got no traction. It is funny that it was like 2017 and Barstool was like, I don't know what this whole YouTube thing. I'm not sure if we're going to be putting videos on YouTube. Was it primarily Facebook is where Barstool put their stuff?

Twitter, right? Yeah, Twitter. Or no, because I think we had our own. It was like Brightcove. We like owned, if you put it on the website, we owned that or whatever. Facebook tanked a few companies. Yeah. Funny or Die cracked because they were inflating all the views.

And so they were like, let's put all our content on Facebook. We're getting millions of views. Turns out all the views were fake. And then they couldn't recover and went out of business. Damn. Yeah, that must have sucked. Depressing. Rest in peace to BuzzFeed, too.

Yeah, they were fucked by Facebook as well. They're done? They're done for. Done. I don't know. Have you ever been to a BuzzFeed store in the airport? No, absolutely not. There's BuzzFeed store in the airport? No, absolutely not. There's BuzzFeed stores in the airport.

So I think all that's left is airport stores. What do they sell? Well, I think it's just like branded. They sell lists? I don't know. I've been to like a convenience, like a Hudson News, but it's almost like advertising. It's not actually like BuzzFeed stuff. Congrats, Donnie.

Yeah, congrats. That's pretty dumb. Rats. Yeah. Rats. What's next for BuzzFeed? Body wash? actually like buzzfeed stuff it's congrats donnie i so yeah congrats that's pretty dumb rats yeah what's next for buzzfeed body wash what's up brandon i don't know what's good you know what it is man yeah yeah freshman in the bill in fort wayne indiana we here man we made it man brought all the good shit out man brought my good necklace brought my good earring all my good shit out, man. Brought my good necklace, brought my good earrings, all my good shit, man. So,

ready to turn up, bruh, my... You know, we should keep them on deck. We keep them on deck. We down here poppin' big bottles. Poppin' big bottles. Snoop just did a video and killed his whole Motherfucking thing Shit if I do it

Shit if I do it I can do it man I ain't gonna let the nigga show me up Damn you done drunk half of it already Nah you ain't I don't need no narrator It's just me the only one to do it I ain't gonna let him show me up God How'd you find this? This is classic. Show me up. Cut.

Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut, man. Cut, man, for real. Shit, if I do it. Damn, I want him to work here.

Me too. Bad. You ever see the Denver Nuggets jeans video? Yes. The guy with the Denver Nuggets jeans. One of my favorite videos. What's that? I just sent it to you, but it's like,

it's this guy wearing Denver Nuggets jeans And his boys reacting to it. Wait, I may have seen it Hold on, let me take a picture of myself real quick, son. Hold on, B. Hold on, yeah. Look at the fucking drip. Yeah. Look at the fucking drip. I know it's fucking fly. You shat me? Did you shat me?

My son got the Denver Nugget jeans. This is like the black version of Damn Daniel. What would it be called? I don't know. When was that? I have something on my head that I'm not going to say. No, it's not. Forget it.

It wasn't that. I've been rowdy tonight. I've been rowdy tonight in West Virginia. Shit. God, do we? IRNR.com. Check it out. We've got over 20 fights. No headgear.

We'll have Dan and Dave on the call. We'll have all that. We have Shizat Darizat against the Ninja for a career. Retirement match. Retirement match. Whoever loses is done. Finished. Out.

Finito. Done. I don't. Man, they're two staples. Shizat. Yes. It's hard to imagine a rough and rowdy without Shizat Darizat. What about Ninja? American Ninja? Both of them have been there. So we'll see. Shizat, yes. It's hard to imagine a Ruffin Rowdy without Shizat. There is that.

What about Ninja, American Ninja? Both of them have been there, so we'll see. We'll see what happens. Buy R&R tonight. Check it out. The fights will be funny. They'll be hilarious. Dan tweeted that he woke up with a sore throat,

so I don't know what that means for the anthem tonight. Maybe they power through. It'll be funnier. Could be. So buy R&R tonight. It's a shame it won't be as good. I have a question about Ruff and Rowdy. So if you look at, like, all the matchups, the people's records are,

it'll be like 17 and 12. Right. Where are they fighting? You can get a lot of amateur, low-level amateur events. That anyone can put on. Like, you could put on an event, and that would be on the record. Hmm. I might do that.

So, I think the next one's in our hometown. Really? Back? Yeah. Good. Has it ever been in Wheeling before? Yeah. A couple times.

Where's the one that y'all did? Oregon Town. Oregon Town. Oregon Town. It was a COVID one. It was odd. Yeah. Because just the fighters, families.

Speaking of, did y'all see him? I'm almost ashamed of it now that I just go after him to do on Twitter. Oh, did you do it again? Yeah, I did it yesterday. I saw it last night. I did it yesterday. I don't know. I just get bored, and I just kind of use. I did it yesterday. I don't know. I just get bored, and I just kind of use him as a tackling dummy.

I don't know. He invokes a reaction. He does. Like, I've often, like, wanted to say something. I'm like, ah, like, not worth it. Yeah, he does. I just, I'm never proud of myself when it's over. I'm never happy.

It's like a fat girl, huh? A lot of it revolves, often, like, attack him for living in Lancaster. That seems to be a natural thing for you to pick oh no well yesterday he deserved it yesterday he tweeted uh somebody tweeted him that he lives in amish country and he said he said asshole i don't live anywhere near amish country that's it's half hour away i'm like okay well that's that's amish country and then he makes fun of other people. Yeah. Who was it dancing? Yeah. How can you get mad at him? He always quote tweets, too.

He never does it. He never replies. It's always a quote. Somebody says, Chicago, not Amish. Don't live in Amish country. Fuck what? It's a half hour away. It's so mad.

It's a light year away, seemingly. That's all i did was do that i mean it's obviously if he lives in lancaster it's like biggest amish population in the damn they're fucking an amish it's a ton of amish that's that's the only way i don't live anywhere near amish fucker that's a fair question what is your obsession with they live 25 miles oh no it went five miles less there's's no obsession with it. I just thought it was funny. And that's the truth. I just...

Did he quote tweet you back? Oh, yeah, he quotes tweeted me forever. And then he got all serious. Like someone called you a bully, and then you got pissed at them. I didn't get pissed. I just thought it was funny that somebody... Yeah, whenever you say, I just thought it was funny, that means you got pissed. I just thought it was funny, KB.

My dad grew up just kept going it's always quotes why is it always he doesn't need people seeing that so yeah i'm never proud of myself when that's over but i get into it and i can't get out of it i just i just i have to keep punching until i'm punched out i don't know why it's really what'd you say did you say pathetic it's pathetic it's pathetic yeah yeah it's bad pathetic it's fine whatever it's fine though it's fine that you do pathetic things yeah we all do pathetic things yes oh yeah i was pathetic i got um the fucking you know the asian kid asks, what are you listening to? Yeah. He got me today.

How are you always a target? I know. Are you walking through Washington? I've known this and we'll see. We'll see how I. What did you say? Well, I was listening to a cool song, but I accidentally opened up Spotify instead of SoundCloud. And he accused me of switching it up.

So it's going to look like I was listening to a wax song instead of a cool song. But we'll see. And then he asked, it's something history month. Who's your favorite Asian artist? And what did you say? Oh, fuck. Luckily, I said Jai Wolf off the rip, which is acceptable, but I didn't know any. I couldn't think of any others.

Steve Aoki? William Hung? BTS, William Hung. That would be like the name of a woman. I think I'd freeze. I think he was trying to bait people, like white people, into not knowing any. But I passed. BTS?

BTS. Yo, Ma? Name an individual person, though. Joji. Joji. William Hung. Is he your favorite? I don't think William Hung counts.

Sure. He's an Asian artist. Who's the last Asian person you've listened to willingly on your phone? Jai Wolf, because I just now learned that they were Asian. Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely Jai Wolf, then.

Okay. Brandon? Mine's Joji. Pass. Sanctuary Rocks. I forgot he, yeah, he's Japanese. Pass.

Come on. Glimmer, you're older than me. I mean, I'm thinking maybe like, yeah, I guess Yoko Ono with John Lennon on the Double Fantasy album.

Does that count? Is she your favorite part of those albums? No. Is she your least favorite part of those? Tommy hasn't said any. So there's one guy, I think he's called Mark Kim, but I'm not positive. So maybe I did come across cool. Is Bjork?

No. Oh, right. He's from Iceland. Yeah, but does she have like... She have what? Does she have any heritage? That might be the least Asian person. Bjork is a very Scandinavian name.

I know, but she doesn't look Scandinavian. I haven't seen her. All right, so for graphics, can we put everybody's favorite Asian artist up and we'll have Clemmer with Bjork? Brevin. No, I said Yoko Ono first, but I mean... That's not...

Oh, no, Brevin Kim is... Look at Bjork's last name. It's like something Olsen, right? Maybe it's like Elizabeth Warren or like Wingdings. Same kind of thing. Bjork. Bjork. I guess Spotify doesn't let you sort by artist ethnicity.

You came by genre. I don't think there's a lot. I don't think there's a lot of famous Asian, at least American. So do you think you're wrong about Bjork? I don't think I'm wrong about Bjork. We know you're wrong. Yeah. Guitarist of Dragon Force.

I should have said Knock 2. Who? It doesn't matter. Okay. This makes me feel bad, actually, this line of questioning.

Because I'm not... You fuck with Knock 2? No, I just, I haven't listened to enough Asian artists. Oh, damn. Like, statistically, they're the most common

people. Yeah, right. That's on me, you know, at this point. Right, yeah. Alright. Gotta broaden my mind a little bit. That's on me, you know. Yeah. Right, yeah. All right. Got to broaden my mind a little bit. They probably listen to a ton of white artists.

Yeah. Yeah, because we probably force it down their throats. Hmm. Don't blame me. I don't do anything to anybody. No, but I mean, like, if you go, like, walk into a store, right? The elevator music that's playing, or whatever, walk into a supermarket, you don't hear a lot of Asian artists, I don't think.

That's what I'm saying. We're now putting it on corporations. Get out of this. Do a fart. Oh, a follow-up. I'm originally capable of getting canceled just to whip out that fart noise and everyone will forget. That fart noise is so goddamn funny.

When you said that you used to, when girls would bend over in high school and you would do it, the visual of that is amazing. It's fantastic. And then you act like they farted and they get upset. No, I didn't.

Like, oh, yes, you did. It's great. It's great. Hijink score. Were you popular with the ladies in high school, Glimmer? I know you were a dork, but your body type, you can't get stuffed into a locker. You just go in.

Yeah, like, just chill out. Yeah, you just get, you just chill in a locker. When I was a freshman, I was 4'11". So, like, the idea of, like, dating anyone was just not going to happen. By cycle. Wait a minute. I need a photo. I grew nine inches in my sophomore year like six one

yeah i'm like six i'm almost six two yeah that's why i said six one right right you you shaved an inch half an inch off there no uh yeah when i graduated i was i was almost six feet so like but i grew nine inches sophomore year that was like this crazy year i just grew like insane amount i couldn't walk in super in, you know, because they waxed the floor. Wait, wait, wait. You couldn't walk? I mean, I couldn't walk well. I mean, because the floors are so waxed and my feet were growing so much.

I was just like stumbling around. Your feet were actively growing, so you couldn't. That's your walking. I'm telling you. I would always do this like stutter step thing, walking up and down the aisles. I had stress marks. You couldn't walk on wet floors because you were growing too fast. Waxed floors.

Waxed. You couldn't walk on slippery floors because you were growing too quickly. Growing too fast. And I had stretch marks on my legs. My legs hurt so much. Oh, that does suck. I had that. Waiting to go on a roller coaster.

It's like, give me a half hour. I'll be tall enough. I'll be tall enough to ride this ride. Should be good. I mean, I was class clown. Does that help with the ladies? Probably not. I've never, ever, ever even kissed a girl older than me.

Dude. Well, that's because that doesn't exist. That's right. It's also true. For whatever reason, older women, there's like zero. It's never going to happen. My first wife was seven years younger than me. My current wife is nine years younger.

Then in high school? In high school. What about when you were a freshman in high school? I didn't date until I was a junior. Okay. She was in seventh grade? No, no, no. Well, I was also young for my grade, too.

Oh, yeah. You were an old junior. I was like three months. You were a young junior. She was an old seventh grade. My best friend. No, because New York has different, like how they put the kids in grades is different. For instance, in New York, I think it's the end of the calendar year.

Where New Hampshire, it was like September 1st. So if a kid ever got left back, then I'm like two years younger than some people I went to school with. Maybe it was very, so, you know, I was young. How old was your girlfriend when you were a junior? I didn't really have like a true girlfriend. I was a little bit commensurate. It was, so,

15? I was 16? I just got my license. He was a sophomore when I was a senior. Oh, that's fine. That's standard. That's not bad, right? I had a sophomore girlfriend when I was a senior as well. It's pretty normal.

I did too. Did you carry it over to college? No. No, those rarely carry over. In fact, I was looking forward to the day college started so I could back up with her. It becomes illegal, doesn't it? No, I don't think so. Oh, no.

It depends on the age. Sometimes I'm shocked by... I don't think 19 and 17 is illegal, is it? I think that's what I'm saying. 19 and 16, though? That's where it gets a little... That's just weird, yeah. Clemmer, similar to your TV stations,

you should memorize every state's legal age of consent. I don't think that's necessary anymore. I'd like to test that out. Anymore? Well, maybe when I'm 19, if that's the case, I don't know, geez, I could get you some hot water. When you're 43, that's one less fact that you remember. So when I was growing up,

we only had three channels. And I would remember the cast of every 80s NBC sitcom. Oh, wow. Yeah, like Alf and shit like that. So I get where you're coming from. But I do want to test this out a little bit more. The networks were very important.

Yes. I don't know a single network. Yeah, you don't? I knew my networks. No. You had to. Yeah. Clemmer, who's the most famous 43-year-old you can think of?

Oh, my God. It's probably one of the Chris Pratt, Chris Evans people. They're around my age. Okay. Whoa. How'd you know? He looked it up, but I looked it up. Because when you're around, you're really famous. There's actually someone who know? He looked it up. I looked it up. Because when you're around, you're reading.

There's actually someone who's probably a little more famous. 43. How old are the Olsen twins? Britney Spears, 43? Oh, yeah. I'm older than her, though. They're younger. Have you seen the Britney Spears conspiracy?

What is it? People don't think she's living, I think. And people think it's Jamie Lynn Spears using like a... On a chance. No, because there was a TikTok she put out where she puts her hands over her face and for a split second, she has her sister's face. Can we see this? No. Yeah.

I don't buy it. No, I don't think so either. Pretty crazy. I don't think TJ had it like on deck so we could yuck it up for a little bit. He's not a miracle worker. Who's the more famous 43-year-old? You can guess. Man, you can ask yes or no questions.

I'm older than LeBron. It's on him. Oh, Tom Brady. No, I'm younger than Tom Brady. I'm older than him. There's no one you're older than. So it can't be LeBron. Or Tom Brady.

Oh, yeah. Famous. Somebody is. This is not Brittany. Somebody's been using a filter to look like her, and I'm about to prove it. There's a clip that I got from this guy's page or girl's page. So you see her hands go above her face once. Watch when they come back down.

It's one frame. But this is a blue-eyed person with I think it's our sister it's very quick and easy to miss, but ain't no denying. Ain't no denying. People have too much time. I deny it. How do you deny it? What was that?

Some kind of optical illusion. I don't think she looked that much different. She looked different. The girl who posted that edited herself. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, either one of those. Yeah, for it to go viral. Or she was using a filter, and the filter came off.

That's true. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's probably viral. Or she was using a filter and the filter came off. That's true. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's probably it. It's probably using filters. The way more likely thing is that there's a body double. It's Kevin Hart, by the way. The way more likely thing is Britney Spears has been dead for a long, long time.

Years. Did we get the 43? Oh. Oh, pink. Channing Tatum the 43? Oh. Oh, pink. Channing Tatum's 43? Who the hell is Brooke Norris? Why is she there? YouTube stars are always so high up on these.

Oh, I checked this page quite a bit, and I've been losing popularity lately. You're on here? I'm on here. Really? Yeah. You just went. I'm sure we're all on here. On Famous?

No way. I'm not. I bet. No, not you, Clemmer. That's fine. Andy Orton. No, they asked me if I wanted to be on it. Brandon Walsh.

They asked you if you wanted to be on it? Taking that tax bump. Who asked you? How does this work? Classic. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Check Kyle Bauer. Oh. It's a big star. Bigger star. 66,000th most famous person? Vape promoter? Yeah, there's a lot of incorrect things. It says that I have a pet dog, I think.

I don't have a pet dog. I mean, the most jarring thing is that you're on famous birthdays. There's other Barstool people. Paul says that I have a pet dog. I think. I don't have a pet dog. I mean, the most jarring thing is that you're on famous birthdays. There's other Barstool people. What causes do you support? Yeah, that's funny. This guy, Jack. I'm the number four Taurus Twitter star in the world. Number three 27-year-old Twitter star.

I might have to make that my new bio. You're the number 44 Twitter star. Behind regard harm. Who are these dudes? You're 27. it's a rough age for famous people Jake Lucky might catch you Jake Lucky will get him

the fuck is Jake Lucky eSports reporter damn it I didn't know who that was you're only the number 14 Taurus named Tom

wait who the fuck are these people? Lizzie Winkle? She's a dead at 15. She's a Twitter star? She's dead? Oh no. Oh god.

I kind of want to see the most famous Taurus is named Tom. Me too. I want to know who's above him. I think Tom Holland might be. Or Tom Holland is a most famous Taurus is named Tom. Me too. I want to know who's above him. I think Tom Holland might be, or Tom Holland is a more famous 27-year-old named Tom. Tom is a tough one. I want, okay. Welling, he was Superman. Tom Bergeron, Dancing with the Stars.

I'm Brady's dad. He's significantly more famous than Tommy. Tom Cochran. Tom Savage. Oh, you're right. You're not ahead of Tom Snyder. That's bullshit. Fuck you, Glamour. Tom're right. You're not ahead of Tom Snyder. That's bullshit. Fuck you, Clem.

I'm ahead of Tom Snyder. Tom Snyder had this. You're not ahead of Tom Snyder. He's right. Oh, no. I said Tom Savage. No, but you're not ahead. I don't know who Tom Snyder is.

Tom Browning threw a perfect game, didn't he? Who? Tom Browning. I didn't make the fucking list. This is not right. I mean, Tom Snyder had this show. Whoa, whoa. Can you go back down?

Well, he's dead now. Go down a little bit. Tom Cotton looks like you in disguise. Yeah. Is that you? Politician. 45, Arkansas. I check this quite often.

I did get up to 40,000th once. I think maybe. I've seen other bars. Dave is definitely on there. Maybe Big Cat. Well, those make sense. Well, Smokes, Big Cat, Portnoy.

I bet Joey's on there. Joey's probably on there. Oh. Yeah, fuck. More famous than Tommy. Yeah, a lot more. Yeah. 30,000 spots to climb.

He's the number one 38-year-old sportscaster. He's got Mollylly molly carom is it big cat 38 yeah they're the same age right oh no they apart oh oh yeah that's right i think they're the same age for like one week right yeah but maybe big cat's not listed as a sportscaster yeah maybe let's kind of made up now if you had said no would they still have put you on here, you think, Tommy? Never mind. Probably.

I'm trying to find... He's a podcast host. They DMed me like a year ago and said, Hi, we noticed your bio is missing pictures on famous birthdays. Are you interested in adding a few photos? I said, yeah, that'd be great. That must have got you fucking rock hard. Yeah.

How big of an operation do you think this site is? Ten people. I was going to say less. I don't think it's bigger, huh? Really? How much money can they pull in? I don't know. I mean, a lot of people see this website a lot.

Yes, that must make them a ton of money. It's very visible. There's a lot of Twitter followers. What is it, Alexa? What are we looking at? That's 1.7 million Instagram followers. That's pretty good. John, thank you for wearing your hat today.

Thank you for the hat. Still smells like sausage a little bit. Yeah, every time I wear it, it smells smoky. I never got any of the sausage, though. I like the way you say sausage. Sausage. Oh, you changed it there. Sausage?

Yeah, I said it with like an O. Sausage. Unintentional. Oh, he's number four, famous Dave. Wow. Ahead of Dave Chappelle. He's number four famous dave wow more famous than dave chapelle oh shit take that sass wow that's insane i think that whole day is crazy he would definitely tweet this if he never matt dave matthews wow yeah checks out what about ramsay is also show brick famous dave stewart cy young in what year never want to say on good number one his teammate won in 1990 who was it i'll watch 27 wins just like to keep him sharp

and keep him sharp every now and then Smitty earlier asked me a trivia question That he just had the wrong answer to He said who draft What team drafted Josh Hamilton Yeah it's the Tampa Bay Yeah that's what I said And he goes nope Cincinnati Reds

That's the first team he played for And that's not who drafted him Yeah Alright Relax Let's get sassy about it I can't read the next sentence. You need me to tap in here?

Yeah, I can't. Why? You're a tequila lover. Let's get him. Thank you. I can't say yes or no, Tommy. If you're a tequila lover who's never satisfied with malt-hard seltzer offerings, you're going to love the new High Noon Tequila Seltzer.

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They're good. It's quality metal. Flavors. Don't even get me started on the flavors. Available nationwide in strawberry, lime, grapefruit, and passion fruit. Anyone else? I need tequila. I'll take one.

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you know, keeping our careers afloat. All set. And they're delicious. All right. So, what else? Mother's Day this weekend. Yeah. Everybody taking care of?

Everybody good? Yeah. You got big plans? I got my mom and your mom Birkenstocks. You didn't get my mom Birkenstocks. I did. You want to see? No.

$186. No, you didn't. You spent $186 on Birkenstocks for my mom. Our moms. I'm just going to send her cash. I don't really need to buy her a gift. You got her Birkenstocks. I'm just going to send her cash.

That's eight and a half. She can buy whatever she wants. Extra and extra size. She wants to wear wool socks with them. She usually wears whatever she wants. Extra and extra size. She wants to wear wool socks with them. She usually wears eight. No. My mom's foot is not that big. She's five foot three.

Yeah, I know. Women's size douche bag. Yeah, but she's not. She does not wear an eight and a half. She wants to wear woolen socks. She doesn't wear woolen socks. It's fucking. That's what you do with Birkenstocks. That's the cool thing to do. My mom doesn't own a pair ofen socks. She doesn't wear woolen socks. It's fucking... That's what you do with Birkenstocks.

That's the cool thing to do. My mom doesn't own a pair of wool socks. And she needs to get a pair. I don't know what you want me to tell you. And plus,

she doesn't wear shoes. You're telling me you don't know what size shoe your mom wears? I'm telling you that I don't think she wears a shoe that big.

Brandon, you should get her some wool socks. Think she wants them they look cool birkenstocks yeah i don't know i'm just gonna send her cash that's all i ever do although i bought her hummingbird feeders last year she loves the hummingbird feeders how many does she she does that's what she asked for hummingbirds are are fascinating birds to watch feed again i don't think I ever have.

You think you'll ever get into birds? A lot of people, like... My dad's just getting into birds. Yeah. So, birding is weird because it's completely honor-based. Yeah. So, when you go back, you're like, I saw it. And they're like, damn, you beat me.

Yeah. They're not, like, jumping to take pics. No. Just see it. The only bird I get excited to see is when I see a bald eagle in the wild. And I went a long time without seeing a bald eagle in the wild i told 35 and then i've seen seven one of my favorite board games is about birds called wings wingspan baby yeah great game what's wingspan great board game one of the maybe my favorite board game what do you do break it down very quickly it's hard to break down you basically you draw birds and each bird has like a power and

every round you can like activate a few powers and you're spending eggs yeah you're spending eggs you're laying eggs you have different habitats where the birds can be it's it's exhilarating transports you to a different fucking world man a bird world yeah i think a good way for tommy to try to get canceled yeah it's to start hating on bald eagles oh that's good i actually like bald eagles a lot yeah but that's a good like people people get very riled up yeah about bald eagles except in alaska harmless i took a picture of one at a national park and then in college i used to go around to i don't know why i thought this was a good pickup line but i would often say to women i got a picture of a bald eagle that'll blow your balls off.

And then I would pull up the picture of the bald eagle. And it was a pretty good picture of a bald eagle. You said this to girls you were already friends with. Not necessarily. Girls out of parties. Did it ever work? No, never. How did they react to the picture?

Oh, nice. It is a nice picture. I don't know if I still have it, though. It was on my old phone. Did you take it yourself? Yeah. Zoomed in. You could really see it.

Would it blow balls off? Oh, yeah. Clemmer, what's the best picture you've ever taken? I like the view from Roosevelt Island a lot, like where I live. You've lived there for like three months. That's a nice picture. What's the best picture of you? Probably the one on my Twitter profile when I'm at the Sopranos.

The last scene of Sopranos when he's at the booth in Holston's. Spoiler. That doesn't really... Well, yeah, let's see it. It's like a decent picture of me. No point of watching the show now. Just said he was sitting there eating. Rich, I know your worst picture.

You'd be surprised. No. Nothing is on that level. I'm not much of a photographer, I don't think. I'm not good probably with like, I think my pictures are probably all askew or all crazed, you know? I don't think I'm very good at taking pictures. Oh, I got some great pictures. Because when I was a kid, you know, you had the different kind of, you know, I didn't

grow up with the phones. So I had like a disposable camera. Yeah, or even like the hard and fast cameras, you know? If I were going somewhere important, I would get a disposable camera. That's not a bad picture of me. Yeah, it is. It's good. That sweater's eating you up.

You love cable net. Yeah, I do. I love a good sweater. Aren't they like, they're really unique patterns, so like if you fell overboard and your face was destroyed, they could tell who you were. Really? I think so. That's interesting.

That's a very depressing reason to put care into a sweater. Yeah. Or a sweater maker. Very niche. Now, and now like, you wear it to dress up and just look cute. It's like, oh, nice sweater. Why is it like that? wear it to dress up and just look cute it's like oh nice sweater why is it like that in case i fucking die and my face is destroyed hit by like a mast i could be making that up i think you are you want to check i'd kind of but because you could

use your one check of the day yeah why don't you check them i don't know i don't know if i want to use my challenge for this sounds suspicious you should check You should check. Don't I lose my challenge? Mm-hmm. I would use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to challenge this. You're a fool.

You're a fool. I think there are other reasons to have cable knit sweaters other than getting your face crushed and unrecognizable in the ocean. I think that's why the pattern was so outlandish to begin with. So why are cable knit sweaters- So crazy. Why are they like that? That's our

question, TJ. You guys ever been sailing? My water in my apartment is black now. Black? Yeah. God damn it! Oh, man. Wow! Maybe next time, pal. Come on.

My challenge. My challenge only takes time. Oh! Wait a minute. What? That's fake. 2014? Eagle hater?

Wait a minute. Scroll down. No, that's fake. I don't even have Twitter in 2014. Wait, go down. Okay, that was a tweet about Survivor. It was changed. I don't even have Twitter in 2014. Wait, go down. Didn't hit quite the same since... Okay, that was a tweet about Survivor. It was changed. That was photoshopped.

Inspect element. Inspect element. Oh. Well, shit. John, are you still playing kickball? Season just ended. I had to miss the last game of the season for snuffing torches. Oh.

I mean, I don't know. It was a shame. You didn't have to do that. I was. Nobody ever has to do that, Joe. I have perfect attendance. I'm going to keep going. But, no, we won the first two games, lost the next three,

didn't make the playoffs. Had a bunch of them. Yeah. Can I ask a question about kickball? Yeah. Where's the line of people who are out there who are just absolutely there to enjoy themselves and have a good time they're playing kickball they're being windskull to the uber competitive take this as seriously as you can

if we lose these guys i'm gonna fucking kill myself great question i actually wrote a blog about this but i am in the casual league which is like the middle league there's three leagues like competitive casual extremely casual it's about three to four what's extremely casual it's way more casual even keep score yours is like an even mix of guys and girls yeah which is which is the best for like a disparity because you got like three four people on our team who they're fucking love kickball like they get pissed they yell at all the girls for not covering the right base that's not casual at all they should be in the upper league yeah but i think the upper league i mean i i don't know i can't get in their heads but

there's extremely casual is that i didn't know there was a disparity between like good and great kickball players there's not it's just in the attitude just how serious some people are just very serious about it and i think it's a in the attitude just how serious some people are just very serious about it and i think it's a weird mix because people who are like care a lot about kickball i'm just kind of assuming they didn't like play much sports or like weren't that good at sports growing up they're probably too good at sports and they can't turn it off no i think like their whole life they sucked and then they finally found a sport as dumb as kickball and they're like oh my god like i i can be good at this.

I can tell you, if you spend your entire life sucking at sports, you're not playing any now. You're not taking that risk. You don't want to go back to that humiliation. Kickball is so dumb. It's so dumb. You're right, but I'm thinking the who like couldn't start on varsity or yeah but think of all the people who sucked at sports but like wanted to be good so bad like every team enjoyed sports but they just weren't very good exactly uh so in in kickball in adult kickball

what makes you good like can you kick home runs are you trying to kick line drives what are you trying to kick it's only kicking and catching the ball you're trying to kick it as far as you can okay for the most part at least that's what i do because it's way more fun how many i've been wanting to weigh in on this for a while how many people are going there to like hook up with someone oh a good amount like the girls the girls on our team are like there to fuck i'm serious yeah like it's yeah because after every game we go to a bar and there's like a flip cup situation like everybody who plays kickball kickball goes to play flip cup. And, yeah, like, they are absolutely there.

They hot? A few of them, yeah. I played one of these years ago. That's kind of the vibe I got. Yeah, 100%. It wasn't, like, swingers or anything like that, but it was just, like, that's where people go that are a little bit awkward at bars to just, like. Yeah, and it's just, like, the perfect, like. I'm joining the kickball team.

It's the perfect easy thing to do if you are new to a city and you're like, oh, I want to meet people. Kickball's easy. I'll sign up for a team, and then you're trying to make friends. Do you make any friends? Yeah, we actually made one very good friend.

There you go. Shout out Morgan. Shout out Morgan. Shout out Morgan. Where do you rank on the team? Are you in the top? Are you one of the best? I'm pretty sure I was the best.

You were the best on the team? It's not that much of a feat. But you enjoyed being the best. I did enjoy being the best. Yeah. Yeah, I did. And you identified you were the best early. What I really enjoyed was being the best

and not caring right in the face of the people who were like real big assholes about it. Yeah. If that makes sense. So you had to toe the line of enjoying it and caring about it, but not caring as much as the guys you were slightly better than. Yes, correct. You're like Nelly. You have to belittle the assholes. You're like Nelly in the longest yard. You have to belittle the assholes. You're like Nelly in the longest yard.

You have to like good, talented, but weren't in your face about them. It's about belittling the assholes who take it too seriously by being better than them and showing them that it doesn't matter. That's just a precarious tightrope to navigate, though. Because you could be seen as caring about what you just said more than they care about caring about it do maybe over not care correct sometimes i can sense myself doing care too much about not caring yeah you're right you're right i do i probably do that a bit you have a very meticulous plan of how you're going to come off that you don't care yeah that seems which is counterintuitive thing that's come off that you don't care. Yeah. That seems to be the Gen Z thing.

That's their vibe, right? They don't really care. I thought their vibe was the next thing. I was the J-er about a lot of stuff. We care about shit. But you don't care about stuff other generations care about. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

What is the, are there refs? I don't remember. Yeah, there's a ref there. Steven is definitely joining a kickball league as soon as he can. No, I wasn't. I actually didn't really like it that much. It was kind of a ref there. Steven is definitely joining a kickball league as soon as he can. No, I wasn't. I actually didn't really like it that much. It was kind of a weird scene. But I kind of wonder what the life is like of just an extremely casual kickball ref.

Well, I know like... Several times a week. It had kind of this thing in New Hampshire, too. And if you were the ref, you got to play for free in a different league. So people would just volunteer to save money. You know, when I played kickball, I used to bunt. You son of a bitch. You're allowed three bunts an inning.

Oh, really? Oh, the people bunt? Oh, yeah. I bunted, and then you run fast enough, no one can catch you. And it's basically a free single. Oh, yeah. It is. They limit it.

Also, it was just such a... That's so lame. I know. That's so lame. But I have so much fun running the bases. It's all I care about. I just love running bases.

Kicking the ball is the only... No, no. The fun is running the bases. Fun running bases. I love it so much. Are you good at it? Yeah, I'm pretty good. You're good at it?

I'm not great at sliding, but I'm very fast. You're fast. So you're just fast. You can run fast. Yeah. Is it your faster than Che? I don't know.

I don't know how fast Che did the whole thing. I can't run like a fourth. Neither can Che. Yeah, I know. I think I could probably be okay. Che probably beat him in close. I don't know. I bet you beat Che running bases.

I don't know. I'm a little out of practice. I'd like to think so. I'd like to think so. I'd like to think so. First and second. I haven't run bases in a long time. I had dingers. But could you beat...

You think you could beat Clemmer in a race? I guess a short sprint? I'm pretty quick. Right now? Like present day? Present day. You could do it right now. Probably not.

We've never really put Clemmer's speed to the test. We just see him run on his own, and we're like, wow, what a fast guy. He did now on Barstool Idol. But no one was chasing him. No one was running. It was impressive. It looked impressive. It looked impressive.

I said it looked impressive. To be fair, on the bracket this week, Clemmer did prove he backs up all of his talents. Yeah. So if he says it. What were the... There was fart noise and there was getting compact. Yep. And then also the 90s networks and then the perfect pump.

Which was... I didn't see the... It was a distant fourth. Yeah. That's a distant fourth. I would agree. But getting compact is pretty... Yeah.

It's small. It's small. It's small. Are you good at hiding? Get him! Get him! Look at that. Get him! Get him!

To the house! Oh, you're right. Maybe it's not as impressive as I thought it was. Pretty quick! That does not look fast at all. Yeah, you're running against nothing. Get him! Get him!

Get him! Get him! Get him! Turn it on! Get him! It's like half a jog. It's fast. It's like half a jog. Can we time you running down the hall?

Yeah, of course. We're going to need a couple more. Where are we going to have... Can you keep the dress shirt on? Of course. We're going to find the longest... We've done this with Che before. We're all going to time him to get the mean. I think we should go longer. Almost the

full hallway, if we can. Ideally, a little longer. So I have a little chance to... Can you corner well? You're going to run from the farthest... I'm okay at running bases. Go from Jeff Lowe's desk. Jeff Lowe's desk to where?

To right here, right in front of us. Number one. That's pretty good. We'll time you. Are we saying the start of the doorway? The end of the doorway? Who's going to tell me to go? How does that all work?

We'll have somebody out there just to say go. Okay. You'll hear us. We'll probably hear you. Just leave the door open. We'll screen go. I just want to make sure I have a good night. I have no idea what's going to be a good night.

Can I ask you a question? Starting with Jeff D. Lowe's desk to here. What are you doing? What are you doing? Okay. Three seconds? Three and a half? What are you saying? All right. What is it I'm going to say? Three seconds?

Three and a half? Four? We're going to make Che do it as well. It's going to be more than three and a half seconds. I'm asking. I would think like six. You get from Jeffrey Lowe's desk to here in four seconds. I'd like to think so.

Four seconds. One, two, three, four. That's how you get four. No chance. Four seconds. I'm going to three, four. I'd like to think so. That's how you get four. No chance. Four seconds. So I'm going to one, right? You're going to that. The first panel.

The door frame. I thought he fell. Oh, my God. Those chairs were certainly not in the way. Might be. They're still going to be in the way. He's going to be slowing down right there. He'll be in control.

Jeff, do you know who's dead? Yeah. Start of it. It's his and whoever. Jeff, do you know who's dead? Yeah. Start of it. His and whoever. Who's? Robbie. Robbie's dead. Yeah, Robbie.

All right. What's the – We're all timing? But what's the trick here? What are we going to do? I just want to know. Okay. I'm going to put the timer at like 8.

We can't see him start. Now we have four people in the hall. Kyle, you call it. Ready, set, go. What the hell? He wasn't ready? He just couldn't do it. Okay.

I'm going to start filming on Kyle's go. Ready, set, go. I got 4-9-2. I got 4-9-7. I think it was about 4-9. I got 4-7, but I didn't have the same angle as you guys. All right, so he's fast. He wasn't that fast. I mean, we don't know.

4-9, 5. 4-9-ish, 5. 4-9-2. Che, you't know. 4'9", 5. 4'9"-ish, 5. 4'9", 2. Che, you're up. He's already out there. No, the door frame. That door frame. One.

Podcast room one. 4'9 doesn't sound that impressive. Oh, it wasn't. I thought you'd be faster than that, frankly. I thought you'd be faster than that. It wasn't that impressive. Yeah, it was. That was okay.

No? 492. I mean, if Steven does this in like 12 seconds, it'll look a lot more impressive. I just hope I beat him. All right. Where did you start, Clem? Oh, just go show him.

Get there quick. Have you guys ever seen Clemmer show up to the office? He's out of breath every day when he shows up. Have you guys seen that? He gets here early. He has a death pact with his friends. Oh, I knew that. The Ninja Turtles?

Ninja Turtles. Oh, that's right. They only have three friends, so there's nobody that has Leonardo. Nobody has Leonardo? No one has Leonardo. All right. All right. Kyle's calling it.

Yeah. Ready, set, go. Heavy feet. Oh, that smoked you, Climmer. 3-4-9. I got 4-4-9. Oh, 4-4-9. That smoked you. 4-4-2. Yeah got 4-4-9. Oh, 4-4-9. That smoked you.

4-4-2. Yeah. Clemmer, do you want to go again? Yeah, I'd like to go again. Okay. All right. You smoked Clemmer. 4-4-9.

4-4-9 is what we got. That was damn good. Yeah, you smoked him. You didn't feel good? I couldn't go fast. How wide is the hall? Can they just run side-by-side? Clemmer, Che couldn't even go fast, and he beat you. I couldn't even go fast. How wide is the hall? Can they just run side by side? I remember Che couldn't even

go fast and he beat you. I couldn't choose to go fast. I'm wearing like my oldest shoes. He's running side by side.

He's wearing his oldest shoes. The hallway's wide enough for both of y'all. Would you guys race at once? It's really, I don't know.

It would take a lot of mental. I don't think it's that tight. It would be a very funny visual. I don't think it's that tight.

I think you guys are two different races. You should go from opposite sides and we'll put a ball on you. I don't think it's that tight. I think you guys are two different races. You should go from opposite sides and we'll put a ball in there. You don't think it's that tight? You can barely fit in the fucking hallway. What are you talking about? Don't say that.

I don't know why I get so... You know how they do dodgeball? You both run at a ball? We put a ball in the middle. Yeah. They come from the opposite sides. Whoever gets the ball wins. No, no.

They got to dive and get the ball. Who just touches the... Yeah. I think the hallway's wide enough for a race. Yeah. Also, though, but then we would need to make sure the dot ball was equidistant. Well, measure it. More than one ball.

That would be easy. Right, but like from where they start. Oh, yeah. Well, I think if we put it in the lobby, this office feels symmetrical. Feels symmetrical, but. Ready. I want to see that. Set.

Go. It feels symmetrical, but I want to see that. Ready, set, go! Why does he look so angry? I got 4-7-2. I never timed this. We want to say he beat Jay, though. He's light on his feet. He didn't beat Jay. 4-8. Yeah, of course he is.

4-8. 4-6-1. Immeasurably worse. 4-8. 4-8. Jay's faster than you. It's just what it is. I retire from being fastest man in the world then, Jay.

Damn. And it just took one challenger. Big win, Jay. I beat the guy, the be a man guy. I beat him in a race. That's like a fat guy. You raced the be a man guy? Yeah.

Senior citizen, right? I also beat Caroline in a race. Okay. Oh, wow. How did you get the chance to race the Be A Man guy? He's a fan of Kirk's, so I met him at a few live shows, and he happened to pop in the office, and he asked to race me. Okay.

That explains it. Adequate explanation. Che, big win? Che just asked what his time was, was and said 4-4 or something, and he said classic Jay. Well, yeah, how long is that? 4-4-9. 40 yards?

That was exactly 40 yards, I think. This? Yeah. Yeah, it has to be. I mean, if you're on a 4-4. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not.

I couldn't run a 4-4 now, like present day, no shot. No, you're right. But yeah, I would want to do that. It felt a little dangerous. Dangerous? Based on my footwear. I'm wearing my oldest shoes. It's a slippery hallway.

I couldn't go full bear. What other activities did you do? You said you did kickball, double dutch. Dodgeball. Dodgeball. Yeah. Dodgeballball yeah like dodgeball is fun college but you're no like like post like in like one of these like sports league adult yeah how did that go give me your best moment and worst moment i'm pretty good at dodgeball so uh i have a little bit of an unorthodox throw where i'll cup it and i'll take kind of a shuffle sidestep and i'll do it sideways but the way i release it it has a little bit of spin on it so it's a little bit it's it's difficult to catch but pretty accurate i can hit hard do you have any highlights

from the zog league i don't know i'm growing up i had a lot of highlights made several kids cry um i'm big on hiding the ball behind my back. Nobody would ever know what's behind that back. Well, no. You hold it behind your back. You're playing with several balls sometimes. Right, but you're playing dodgeball, and if you're walking up to somebody with your hand behind your back, you stuff it in your shirt.

It can only be one thing. There's a line. It's a basketball court, so you can't cross that court. But if you're just walking up with your hand behind your back, they have to know it's a ball. What else could it be? These are like 10-year-olds. You've got to stuff it in the back of your shirt, right? Oh, and go no hands?

Yeah. No, you just cap it behind you, and that's my grip. Well, it would be better if you stuffed it. You can't really quickly get it if you stuff it, right? I think you can get it quick enough. Summer camp, this kid with – this thing is named Jeffrey Thompson. I don't remember his last name. He's a year younger.

Redhead kid. He did not see me coming at all, and I had the ball behind my back, and he ran up. And then the best moment is not when you throw it or when you hit him. It's when you reveal that you have the ball in the moment of surprise. That very second is... Jeffrey Thompson seems very stupid. I love pelting redheads with a

ball. Dude, in high school I would host birthday parties. It was like a job of mine. Yeah, I was a birthday party host. Like a place called Sports Zone. And I didn't go through puberty until like college. So we'd play like dodgeball with these kids. And I remember a group of 11-year-olds came in.

I was 15, and they just smoked the fuck out of me. It was like a turning point in my life where I was like, I can't do this anymore. I gotta hit puberty. Yeah. And I quit that job. Puberty sucked. It hurt. The nipples were so sensitive. Oh, there we go. I never had sensitive nipple light. I didn that job. Puberty sucked. It hurt. The nipples were so sensitive.

I never had sensitive nipple. I didn't either. Really? They would fill up with some hard sludge. You had puberty nipples? Like Mad Ox. Yeah, just like that. I had a friend that could lactate with his nipples.

I had a coach that could do that. A coach? Why was the coach lactating? Perry Saturn? We were in Disney World and he showed us. Yeah. I mean, if you can do that, if you can produce milk with your nipples,

you're going to show people. Maybe not to kids, though. Nathan's in high school. We were cool high schoolers. Undertaker's tag team partner at WrestleMania 19. I thought Perry Saturn could lactate as well. No, but whoever Undertaker's tag team partner at wrestlemania 19 i thought perry saturn couldn't lactate as well oh but there was whoever undertaker's tag team partner was 2019 did so much steroids that he lactated from his nipples 2019 no wrestlemania 19 really uh sold steroids oh i know who you're talking about. Jones? No.

Nathan Jones. Yeah. Damn it. Yeah, I felt like I came out of there thinking he really, there's no downside to steroids whatsoever. Steroids. That was absurd. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Oh, look at Malasek It looks like the slow-mo of the fastest person ever Yeah Documentary You float a little bit Or you're getting chased

by like a lion I feel like you're not taking big enough strides at the time Maybe not or maybe because the four just isn't quite right I'm not gonna

I mean Chase They ran the same four Is this the first time I've been waxed in the last year? I tried to do this because the four just isn't quite right. I'm not going to... I mean, Che, they ran the same four. Is this the first time they waxed them last year? I tried to do this when I was in sophomore year. It would have been a disaster. This is mesmerizing. It should have been growing every step.

It's awesome. When that gun went off, I mean, back then, we didn't know this was possible. Oh, shit. I don't know. What else? Che, you didn't do the bracket. What were some of the things you would have submitted for things you could go pro in? They would have had a great day.

You would have put, like, football. Everyday activity or routine that you could be pro at when the microwave gets to one second and you you hit cancel before it beeps all right it's like a perfect pump type thing that's me uh stop me 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 see it fourth what nailed it i to see it. Beep. What? Nailed it. I'm kind of going to see it. I thought you stopped counting. You got to see it. You got to see it and touch it. It's not like you're counting it down in your head. I would have gone pro in not seeing a watch or a clock for a while and knowing what time it is.

Or waking up in the middle of the night and not having to look at the clock and saying, it feels like it's 6.14. No way, you could do that? Oh, I could not even guess. I could do that. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I assume it's like 8 o'clock. I always can say, oh, it feels like about 5.42,

and it'll be 5.41 or something, but it'll be close. I got this Bluetooth sleep mask, which has worked wonders. Why does it have to be Bluetooth? You can listen to music. Oh, okay. Blackout. I get too afraid when I have a sleep mask on. Yeah, I feel like I'm... What would be the harmful thing that would come from it?

Somebody could come in and kill me. They could do that without the mask on. Yeah, but I can open my eyes real quick if I see something and I sleep next to a blade. Two blades, one on each side. You guys have trouble

going to sleep at night? No. I do. Yeah. I just wake up too early. I don't wake up. Once I'm asleep, I'm asleep.

You don't wake up? Well, like, it's really hard for me to wake up. I'll never wake up in the morning, rather. Like, in theory, if I go to i it's really hard for me to wake up i'll never wake up in the morning rather like i in theory if i go to sleep it's hard for you to go to sleep once i'm asleep i'm out for like 10 hours unless there's an alarm gotcha my internal body clock's been getting very good i basically wake up like a minute before my alarm what do you need an alarm for just to wake up, get to work, I don't know. Because like Clemmer, I'll just sleep if I don't set an alarm. My mother has never used an alarm clock and always woken up.

And it was the most mystifying thing is I have to have an alarm clock, otherwise I will sleep in. But she gets up for work every morning and has never used an alarm clock in her life. And I don't understand people that could do that. I do it as a level of security, but I pretty much wake up at 7, 30, or 8 every morning. I feel like people who go to sleep early can do that. But, like, I know you get up, you go to sleep late because I'll text you late, and you're like...

I usually am up until 3 or 4 o'clock. How? I'm up until, like, 2 or 3. I'm with you, Brandon. I don't know how. You're up that late, too? I don't know how. Really?

Just can't, my mind can't go to sleep. Like, honestly, like, gummies and, like, having a drink at night helps so much. The gummies help enormously. I ignored it. Everyone knows it, but the phone is... You get rid of that at night... No screens in bed. That's a rule I have.

I wake up so groggy, though, after smoking the night before. So groggy. The gummies make me stay up longer. Getting my tolerance up was the hardest thing I've ever did. It was brutal. I was damn near. I felt like I was dying every night, but I had to get to a point where I could be a good.

Just live off of it. Yeah. Have you seen that app that makes you do a math problem to turn off your alarm? You can set it on different difficulties. Your alarm goes off, and it'll give you a long math problem. I would hate that. Fuck that app. And then you're awake,

because you had to think. How many things is a mental math genius? Oh, yeah. We're not going through this. That was sad, Tommy. I mean, I did still beat you 3-2 in terms of... Wow. I beat you 3-2.

Let's do it. What are we doing? You're going to have a mental math off. Everyone. I can't do it. I just can't do it. What are we doing? We're going to have a mental math off. Everyone. We can all participate. I can't do it. I just can't do it. I can try.

I would like to be involved. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's Che, Clemmer, and Tommy. Can I get involved too? Mook's an accountant. Oh, yeah. Mook's an accountant.

Oh, he might be really good at it. Yeah. Yeah. Mook, of course. I'm stronger at Excel than mental math. Brandon, can you defend the claim that you... There are five people in. Okay, Brandon,, of course. I'm stronger at Excel than mental. Brandon, can you defend the claim that you – You've got five people in. Okay, Brandon, you're in.

Can you defend the claim that you incorrectly judged a bet as a loser of an over-under on your date with Jenks? No, I will not defend that claim because that is an exceptional feeling. As somebody who gambles every night, I added the math wrong. It was 66-56, and it was – 129 was the over and in my mind that was 132 i was like god damn it in that moment and i and i counted i was a loser and he pointed no that's that's 122 but you won and it felt incredible so no fine i made a mistake all right all right you're right kyle i shouldn't be. Mathletes, are you ready? Yes. Okay.

17 times 12. 214. 204. Tommy. Whoa. What the fuck, Luke? Fuck you, Clemmer. 15 times 19.

385. 385. 385. Ami. Jesus, Clemmer. I'm going to bow out. This is embarrassing. Yeah, I'm out too. Che, what's up?

Oh, I'm not. You are playing. Okay, yeah. Once it gets answered, I'm not finishing. Yeah, Tommy beat me. 16 times 11. 176. Ami. Oh, no, that was a tie.

No. 19 times 14. 266. Yeah. Okay, are you playing? I am, yeah. No, I you playing? Where are you at? I am, yeah. No, I'm absolutely freezing in this moment.

I got trapped in my own head. I was trying to do 14 times 20, and then I was minusing the 14. That's what I do. That's my method as well. I just was able to do it. I got all goofed up. I mean, do we want to keep going? No, this is a bloodbath.

It's kind of impressive. 21 times 13. 273. 291. Tommy. Yeah, you are impressive. 21 times 13. 273. 291. Tommy. Yeah, you are good. Tommy, good job. Yeah, Tommy's the best.

Yep. I don't want to be around just... I never... Don't stare. Tommy, you're out. Staring daggers at me. I'm out.

I win. You two go at it. I never claimed to be the best at math. Chegg is Clemmer. Chegg is Clemmer. It's fun. I'm not used to doing

these type of... What would you like? Large math. Clemmer. It's fun. I'm not used to doing these type of large math. What would you like? Like gambling math. Three times four. Twelve. Twelve. You didn't win that. I was expecting more.

Nine times four. Thirty-six. Thirty-six. All right. Dude, Tampa Bay Bucks jersey numbers. Yeah. Four net times. Which four?

He changed numbers. Four net times. Which four? He changed numbers. Four net times four net. Ooh. Damn it. I mean, one of them's seven. Yeah, but it's a funky number. What's the other one? What did he change to?

28. Seven times 28. 196? Yeah. He came in like halfway through. Yeah, I know. Poor showing by me. Yeah, really poor showing.

And Kyle, I want to apologize to you. You were right. I had no business in that. You knew that. You knew that, and you tried to let me down gently, and I appreciate that. Che, Kyle Trask times Rashad White. He just changed numbers too, so it would be two right now. Two times one.

Previously it would be 58. He was 29 last year. That was tricky. Alright. Any other feats of skill we need to see? I can get compact again to try to... I would love for you to do that. Clemmer, you're losing everything today.

I did a good fart noise. I never claimed to be the best at mental math. That was your claim. And he backed it up. I never said it. That was his thing, not mine. That would be like if... It's all right, Clemmer.

Fine. One thing I can always do. Look like you're Freddie Mercury's last photo? No. Add some flavor to this one. Yeah, make it zesty. All right. It's pretty good.

You're small as fuck. Rotate. Clemmer, how could you make it zesty? Pretty good. Yeah, you got it. I've ever done break the egg. What is that? On a trampoline.

Oh, you'd be the best egg. In that position, and people try to break your lock. Try to, like, hurt me? No, no, no. They jump on the trampoline and try to break your grip. Oh, that would be... The only way I would break it is if I got really scared, I guess. I would never break out of it, I don't think.

It's a very comfortable position for me to be in. I would love to be on a trampoline right now. I kind of do want to. Awesome. In a minute. Clemmer, how long could you fit in a dryer for? I would not. I'd be so scared. how long could you fit in a dryer for? I would not. I'd be so scared.

How long could you fit in a dryer for? Usually it's just can you. No appliances for me. When Brandon and I were kids, this is a show called Punky Brewster, and one of the characters got locked in a fridge, and it forever scared me of appliances. In the 80s, they did teach us

that the worst thing you could ever do is get inside an old fridge and try to hide because you would die. I don't know why that was such a big thing. Huge deal. Huge deal. Impacted our brains. They would drill it into you at school. If you ever see an old fridge, don't try to hide in it.

Meanwhile, if you go into a fridge, you probably could get out pretty easily. I wouldn't want to try. I would never. I'd be so scared of trying. I'd be terrified of trying, yeah. Yeah, Punky Brewster's friend. Cherry. Cherry got it.

And then Alan couldn't give her CPR and she almost died. It's a whole thing. On different strokes, Dudley got fucked by Gordon Jump. That's right. And then Mr. Belvedere, Wesley's friend, got molested by a camp counselor. Really? I didn't remember that. I watched Mr. Belvedere.

In the show? Yeah. Mr. Belvedere, of course, was on ABC. That's right. They were talking about molestation on... Different Strokes had a molestation episode? A lot of shows did. Yeah.

Was Different Strokes the bike shop owner, right? Yeah. Yeah. Is that the one that you're talking about? Yeah. Gordon Jump from WKRP. Yeah. Cincinnati.

He got Dudley. It was in eight. Taking shirtless photos, right? Yeah. Yeah. Take got Dudley. It was in eight. Taking like shirtless photos, right? Yeah. Take a shirtless photo and stuff like that. But they didn't go beyond that. Well, it was implied that it was going beyond that. Wesley's friend got molested by the counselor.

Wesley got away, but the friend got molested. Yeah. I was going to say, if you're a friend of the main character. You're fucked. Like an 80s show, you're going to get molested. Or die. Like Matthew Perry played Tracy Gold's boyfriend in Growing Pains, and he got into a drunk driving accident.

Of course, she was okay, and he dies. How come the guy in Growing Pains, his name was Boner? His last name was Stabone. The character's last name was, and they called him Boner. That actor's dead. All right. I didn't watch ABC sitcoms Until

Until TGIF Until Family Ties You didn't watch Growing Pains? I didn't watch Growing Pains Why? Because I didn't watch Growing Pains Like Kirk Cameron is a big deal

I was an NBC guy I was an NBC guy The NBC had better shows Yeah Night Court Yeah I was an NBC guy I mean I preferred Family Ties

But Growing Pains was great It was okay ABC didn't catch me Until they got Full House And Family Matters yeah. I was an NBC guy. I mean, I preferred Family Ties, but Growing Pains was great. It was okay. ABC didn't catch me until they got Full House and Family Matters. That's when they grabbed me. Perfect Strangers? You're right. I did like Perfect Strangers. Exactly. I did like Perfect Strangers. So, never mind. I knew I'd find one.

Balki Bartokamas. Don't be ridiculous. From the island of? Nipos. Yeah. Cool. Cool. From the island of Nippos Yeah Cool Cool Cool Alright You guys remember when Tetris came out?

Yeah Was it crazy? It was a big deal on the Game Boy Huge on the Game Boy It was the first Game Boy game You guys gotta watch I don't know if it was the first Game Boy game That's the one that came with the Game Boy, right?

They were like, well, they were going to do Super Mario, and then he was like, you got to put it with Tetris. It's got to come with Tetris because everyone of all ages will play Tetris. Tetris is the perfect game. Tetris was a big... 1984. I don't remember the arcade. I know the arcade one existed, but I remember playing it on Game Boy.

That was Mick Foley's debut. Oh, maybe 86. Yeah, yeah, 86 to 84. He was Mick Foley's debut. Oh, maybe 86. Yeah, 86. 84. He was a tag team with Les. And he was Jack Foley at the time. They beat. They lost to... They lost to the...

The Funks? The Bulldogs. God damn it. Tetris is the third highest selling video game of all time. One or one and two. Minecraft. Is it Minecraft? GTA? Yep.

Wow. What's World of Warcraft? I don't think it's top ten. Oh, it's got to be top ten. You don't know what GTA is? There's like eight million people playing. No, I said I don't know if GTA is top two. Oh. I think it might be.

It might be. We just established that, right? You said it. I didn't know if that was true. He didn't confirm it. I think it might be. It might be. Halo? We just established that, right? You said it. I didn't know if that was true. He didn't confirm it. I think he did. What was one? Minecraft.

Yeah. PUBG. Wii Sports. Wow. Well, that's not fair. It came with the Wii. So did Tetris. Tetris came with the Game Boy.

Yeah, I don't like that. I'm surprised Super Mario Brothers isn't on here. Wow. It is. You know what came with the Game Boy. Yeah, I don't like that. I'm surprised Super Mario Bros. isn't on here. Wow. It is. You know what came with the Xbox? Nintendo. That came with the system. What came with the Xbox?

I know what came with it for me. What was it? Jet Set Radio Future. That's a great game. I had that on Dreamcast. That's crazy. Not Future. Where's Duck Hunt?

I don't think it... I never saw it standalone. It wasn't as good as the stand alone as Super Mario Bros. No, I know, but it came with the system. The system sold so much. It didn't come with the system until like 89. Oh. The first couple years.

Remember that pad? Power pad. Oh, that was the best. Yeah, I had the power pad. Yeah. It had world class track meetup. I didn't have it. You had it?

I had it, yeah. My friend had it. We'd always go and want to play. It was awesome. We would have been friends back then, me and you. Probably, yeah. You guys are friends now. Yeah, I guess, yeah. I wouldn't go was awesome. We would have been friends back then, me and you. Probably, yeah. You guys are friends now. Yeah, I guess, yeah.

I wouldn't go that far. We would have been friends back then. Yeah, not now though? No. Okay. I would have moved on to cooler friends as I played sports. I played sports. You were 4'11".

Yeah, I was infielder in baseball. But I went to a basketball school. Yeah, or like, oh, freshman? I was like right field. You weren't an infielder. The second baseman. I was. It depends what age group because I was so young, so I was too young for some high school teams,

so they put me with the junior high teams even though I was in high school, and I would just dominate. It was awesome. Did y'all see my girl hit that ball in that video I sent to the Yak Chat the other day? Who paused it and said she was actually out? TJ. Fucking TJ. Wait, you sent this?

Yeah, I sent a – well, first of all, I accidentally sent the group text that I was trying to text my wife that she walked on four pitches, and Big Cassette gave us an update on the next at-bat. The next at-bat, she got an infield single, and TJ put it under the booth and paused it and showed that she might have actually been out, which was bullshit. But, yeah, she hit the ball hard. What's her average?

It's high because she walks a lot. It's not a part of the average. Well, it keeps – she doesn't get out. She doesn't get out, yeah. Does? Yeah. She either gets a hit or gets a walk. She doesn't get out very often.

That's a foul. Does she have a bookkeeper? She does. I'm sure there's an actual average out there. It's got to be over 500. That was a lot of drama in Little League. Yeah. A keeper giving us errors or not.

What team were you on? The Civics? The Elm Grove Civics? Yeah. Bethlehem Blue or Red? Red. Your profile picture is red. That's why I thought you were the Elm Grove Civics.

I remember being the scorekeeper for my junior high team, or JV, and someone tried to bully me into giving them a single, but it was a fielder's choice. And I said, I simply can't give you a single.

It's a fielder's choice. Yeah, Bethlehem Red. I loved Ben in the Hat that way. Mine was an acute angle. Yeah, look at that. They say that sports are so much, like, if you have a kid and they can be in a lower grade or higher grade, you should always have them in the lower grade because they'll do so much better in sports, which makes a lot of sense. Malcolm Gladwell had an essay about kind of how a lot of our great athletes were older for their grade.

Yeah, now kids are getting held back. They wanted me to skip ahead. When I was in kindergarten, they wanted to put me for their grade. Yeah, now kids are getting held back. They wanted me to skip ahead. When I was in kindergarten, they wanted to put me in third grade. Why? I could read. The only thing I could do special was I could read really well when I was five.

And they wanted to put me in third grade. It would have been a disaster. It would have been fucking 311. My mom pulled me out of public school and put me in private school. Because the public school says, well, he's going to be bored in kindergarten. We're not going to do that. We're going to put him in third grade. Because the public school says, well, he's going to be bored in kindergarten.

We're not going to do that. We're going to put him in third grade. Mom's like, he will get destroyed. Do you think public or private school is better for outcasts? Public.

Definitely. I don't know. Kids who just have no friends kind of thing? Like weirdos. I think public because there's going to be more outcasts than they'll... You've got to go public. Yeah, right.

And there will be a group of outcasts. Imagine the biggest school possible, right? Andre and Big Boy. The worst case is a small school for an outcast. Yeah. But you could argue that a small school is less likely to be an outcast. Oh, I disagree with that. I don't care what you disagree with. Okay. You could argue that a small school, you're less likely to be an outcast. Oh, I disagree with that. I don't care what you disagree with.

Okay. You could argue that because it would be more – I went to a small – Everybody knows everybody. I went to a small school. It was incredibly clicky. The second I went to a high school, it was bigger. It got less clicky.

What's the smallest school you know? My eighth grade class had 38 kids in it, my grade. We had two classes. It's fairly small. Tiny town in New Hampshire. class had 38 kids in it my grade we had two classes it's fairly small tiny town new hampshire and like if you were on the loser end it was when did you run up because when you were talking about growing up earlier you said new york had these certain rules and now you're in new hampshire like when would how what was your split uh and we moved the summer between fourth and fifth grade so the first two years i'm in new hampshire i'm saying coffee and talk i had a very thick

long island accent and all the kids made fun of me and like for two years I'm in New Hampshire, I'm saying coffee and talk. I had a very thick Long Island accent, and all the kids made fun of me. And for two years I had no friends. And finally in seventh grade I got friends. Who was your first friend? Kidding. Peter Moody was my first friend. He's awesome. That is the most best friend name ever.

Peter Moody, by the way, now a grandfather. Talk about a mind fuck. 44. That's shocking, Clemmer. You're old as dirt. I know. That was the first... Wait, wait, wait.

Are we surprised that he's only a grandpa? Not like a great-great-great-grandpa. I got friends that are grandparents. I have three kids I went to high school with that are grandparents.

I guess two... Yeah, no, that's not that crazy. Every 20 years, that's... It is such a... That was the first moment where I felt like really old.

This kid I hung out with when I was 12 and we played wiffle ball together is now someone's grandfather. You want to have kids, Clemmer? Yeah, I'd like to have one. Just one? Yeah, just one. Boy or girl?

Oh, I don't care. As long as they're healthy. You've decided you only want one. Yeah. If you could choose. I don't know. Like relationships with fathers, with sons is complicated. I think as I get older, maybe a daughter would be easier.

I just want a nice, relaxing life. That's what I've been more on, leaning closer to daughter. Yeah. And son. Father-son relationships can get very intense, and it can be a lot of complications. I want a nice... I'm going to be really old when I have a kid,

so I want it to be easy. You want it easy. Yeah. Well, Brandon, you're a teenage daughter. I feel like it's everyone's biggest nightmare. Yeah. Yeah, but I think teenage daughter, well, Brandon, no. I mean, Brandon has kids.

Like, is it easier being a father of a son or a daughter? For the first 10 years of their life, the girl is much easier. Okay. And then I've heard for the last 10, which I'm at 14 right now, is more difficult for the girl. And I can see where that is starting to take shape. That usually affects, like like the mother more. That's what I was thinking too.

Every girl that's 14 to 19 fucking hates their mom. Yeah. I'd be fine. Your hatred. I came to the realization that my mom now is the age that I like remember my grandma as I was a kid. Like my grandma would be coming. That's right.

Yeah. Probably the same for me. Yeah. Isn't that like a wild realization? Yeah. It's, it's, it's getting old is weird when you see like your,

when you see your parents, like my parents are now almost in their seventies or my stepdad's in his seventies. It's just like, it's wild that they're, that these people I knew when they were young are so, are old people now. Yeah.

It's so crazy. Time is nuts. It makes you really, it makes you like question your mortality. I don't now. Yeah. It's so crazy. Time is nuts. It makes you really, it makes you like question your mortality. I don't know. Yeah. 27.

You guys got to do cold shower. 27 club. You guys got to cold shower. Stop skipping songs. I'm telling you. Stop skipping songs.

I like it. That's good. I mean, the cold shower, I mean, it just works. I can't tell on my phone. When you go on your walks in the morning to get sun, don't bring your phone. Trust me.

No phone walks. That's a good show. How do you record your steps? I don't know. We didn't record our steps 20 years ago. Who cares? I want my steps recorded. I want credit for the walk.

That's smart. Yeah. Just do it. Isn't that credit walk. Fip it. That's smart. Yeah. Just do it. Isn't that credit enough? I did it. No, I need the validation from electronic source. That's sad. I don't know.

That's sad. No, you need some kind of tangible. I've tried to motivate myself by trying the cold shower just because I think it might be an elixir or something. But I can't even get into it. I can't you can't what why why because i never i i will say um let's say right now i say right now tomorrow morning i'm doing the cold shower tomorrow morning comes don't think about it don't work don't it never even crosses my mind to do it i can't get my mind from motivation to activity. There's no bigger differential between good and sucky between cold shower and

hot shower. Hot showers are amazing. Relaxing. I take reflect showers. I just reflect on the day. It's the biggest dip in relaxation. How hot do you guys make this shower? I make mine as hot as possible. I don't.

I can't shower. I'd say 60% hot, 70% hot. Oh, sometimes I go all the way to the scalding. That would work, too, in the same manner that a cold shower would work. I could actually damage you. I go to, like, 90%. I go to, like, as hot as I can take it. I don't know if it was a Europe thing or just the hotel we were staying in, but the shower had two knobs

to where you could do heat and then pressure. Oh. Yeah, I like that. It should be. Wow. It rocked. Rainfall shower.

Did you test all manner of pressure? No, no. I just cranked it. I peeled my skin off. Kramer when he got the elephant one. Yeah.

What if I called you in the morning? Remind him. What time are you comfortable calling me? Nine o'clock? When are you up? I quit dilly-dallying around. You did it. I quit my dilly-dallying around

at nine o'clock and start getting ready at nine o'clock. You're a morning man, aren't you, Brandon? No, I'm not at all. I meant with your other practices. Oh, no, no, no, no. 9 o'clock. 9 o'clock is my shower time. That's my shower time.

All right, TJ, spin the wheel. Yeah. All right. All right, boys, Let's enjoy our weekend. Let's. Happy Mother's Day to everybody's mother. Everybody good? Thanks for hopping on, guys.

Thanks for having me. Appreciate you. Thanks for having me. Great show, Tommy. Mook, what do you got to plug? Nothing. Any shows this weekend? I might do a show Saturday in Philly, but subscribe to Anus.

Thank you. All right. I'm in a lot. Remember? Yeah, watch Double Play with me and Brandon, and I'll have a new NYC fact on Sunday. Oh, my God. You stand so far from the camera.

So far. He doesn't listen to any advice we give him ever. We're like, maybe put some text on that screen. I did a couple times. Then it gets weird. I don't know. I don't know. I do see a world where Clemmer could blow up.

Oh, yeah. I am on TikTok now. You can follow me on TikTok. I see a know. I don't know. I do see a world where Clemmer could blow up. Oh, yeah. I am on TikTok now. You can follow me on TikTok. I see a world where he could blow up. Can we pull up? Yeah. Stand closer, dude.

No, you've got to get the whole universe here. No. I mean, you need a mic if you're going to do this. I know. I think one comment, somebody was just like,

you got completely alpha'd by that ice cream. Is that the U.S. Open? Yeah, right near there. It's Flushing Meadows. Yeah, Parker. So imagine coming here in 1964.. Is that the U.S. Open? Yeah, right near there. It's a two things for men in black, too, right? I can barely hear you. The ice cream man. That's a good TikTok.

What else? That's a good TikTok. He related to Frank. I'm staying on the first base of what used to be Shea Stadium. Behind me, obviously, is Citi Field. Most people when they go to Citi Field think of that. He related to Frank. And they went home to that. And that's why he's still here in 2008. But what I don't know is the Jets played here from 64 to 83. Even the New York Giants.

That's pretty good. Look at all this stuff. Look at Frank's spine ran away. Behind me is the Roswell Island Strand. It was created in 1976 because there's a bridge from Roosevelt Island to Queens, but there's no bridge from— That's just informative, helpful. Where's the one down—

How to get the— You've got to stand closer. No, you have to get the thing. Look how nice the camera can zoom. You can get a shot of that and then zoom in. No, I like it. It's all kind of in one shot. Zoom.

Also, behind me is the polar ground. You have to see that. I'm trying to give imagery. You also, I feel like, don't even need to be in it. I agree. The price for building one, I wasn't even in it. So it's fine if I'm small or I'm big. Keep doing what you're doing. It's going to blow up. I love the facts, too.

If I stumbled upon yours without knowing, I would dive in and watch and be like, who's this funny little guy? Yeah. I could see people using you as ASMR. There's something oddly satisfying. I'm like the worst voice ever. Yeah, but it's so bad it's almost satisfying.

I like it. We're animated. It's true. It's true. Yeah, so passionate ass dudes. I do too. Yeah. There's something about passion that makes me feel warm when I see somebody else.

Makes my tummy tingle. Yeah. Yeah, let's get, how many followers do you have on TikTok? Under a thousand. I think like 600, 700. Let's get him up to 2,000. You got to do some pander ones. Like what are some like.

You got to use a little text on. What do I have to do now, I'm sorry? The fact that like would really, like people that we already know probably. Well, I did the John Lennon. John Lennon got murdered. The ones that did the best were the Citi Field one. That got $30,000, which isn't bad for me. What's close to here?

You should go down to the World Trade Center and explain 9-11 as if it's an obscure event. You might not know. But behind me. Actually, yeah, do that. I do that for the sketch show. I don't know, but behind me. Actually, yeah, do that. No, I do that for like the sketch show. I don't know if I would do it for like, I try to.

What about you go down to Stone Street and do like the oldest street in New York? Right. Well, I always try to be accurate, so I was going to do the oldest bar in New York.

Dead Rabbits. So many people like claimed the oldest bar. I didn't feel it was accurate, so I always want to give the right information. It's very, I take it like pretty seriously.

There's like a soda shop in New York that is like the only soda shop in America that still does soda in the old fashioned way. I've seen that so many times. Right. It's very, I take it like pretty seriously. There's like a soda shop in New York that is like the only soda shop in America that still does soda the old fashioned way. I've seen that so many times. Right.

It plays on TikTok every time it comes on. Yeah, that's what you gotta do. Do the pander. They do like syrup mix. Oh, I don't like pandering. I would be excited to see a soda shop.

I don't want to pander. I don't know. It works. It's not pandering. It's just, it's proven. Why do I have to? You gotta pander. Why?

It works. That's TikTok. I mean, you don't have to. I have nothing if I don't have my integrity. You've got to play the game. Let's get – refresh it. The show doesn't end until Clemmer gets 1,500 followers.

Oh, no. No. Yes. We're going to be here all year. No. Round up to the nearest hundred, I think, is a good way to do it. No. We'll get to 1,500.

If I get to Hank Aaron, 755 I'll be happy. Oh, no. It hasn't moved. TikTok, I feel like it's the one app you have to grow on the app. It's Clumber with 7Ms, by the way. I mean, TJ, how many concurrence do we have right now? 7,100. Clumber with 7Ms.

Why? I mean, you're not making it that easy. You're not making it that easy. Do you like NYC? Is that your username? Why 7Ms? Chris Conger was taken. 3Ms!

What about NYC Facts Guy? I also put up the old baseball card. I want to see you fight Nigel Roxbury. Look at that, 7Ms, right? It's also my same thing on Instagram. You did 7 on Instagram as well, so that's good. And what are you on Twitter? At Chris Clemmer.

I got it. Is that out of the nine followers? That's pretty good. Thank you, guys. Oh, three more, thank you. Oh, here that's good, Brandon. And what are you on Twitter? At Chris Clemmer. I got it. He's added nine followers. That's pretty good. Thank you, guys. Oh, three more. Thank you. Oh, here we go. Very nice.

People are nice. Thank you. Here we go. And it's worth the follow. And we are going to have to drop it down to 1,000, I think. Okay, we'll do 1,000.

I mean, I think 75. Hank Aaron is good. I don't want to. But, like, let's crowdsource your next video so the people that are following you can be like, oh, I was there for the creation on the people that are following you can be like, oh,

I was there for the creation on the yak. Oh, you mean, so I should say what my, no, no, no. What like TJ,

what are the comments saying? Where should Clemmer go? I know where I'm going next. Oh, you can change. It's not, well, I did the research.

You can also bust out 10 in a week. Oh, I, well, yeah, I think. Is this a one a week series? It's like a sunday conversation

yeah yeah yeah i did it once on saturday because i forgot what day it was my wife's like what are you doing i'm like oh i thought it was sunday i don't know did you set up a tripod no no someone always tapes it so uh bibs has taped a couple. My wife's taped a few. John Rich was going to help me tape this one. Yeah, someone tapes it for me. I had a buddy tape the Unisphere one. Keep saying tape. That's how it is, right? I guess not. We don't use tape anymore.

I don't know. It's taped in my mind. I record it, yeah. So he said do it in the sewers. Sewers. That'd be great. I saw. I was walking from the train, and these men took off the grate and then took off another thing. But I wanted to get to work, but I wanted to see what was down there. Alligator.

You should sneak into the old City Hall train station. Everyone says that, but I don't know how to get in there exactly. You can see it from the train, but I— You've got to jump off a moving train. What about one of the fake buildings that are just like the ventilation system for the subway?

Those are awesome, right? I don't know what that is. Oh yeah. Do it. Fake buildings. There's one on Governor's Island. It's really big.

I don't know how you can't get in there the door's locked but it's a cool I don't even know if they're actually like yeah, they're odd but there are some

There's a couple on Roosevelt Island I think too. There's like one like a structure it looks like that. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's near the subway station. All right. How many does he have? We could probably call it there.

Let's see. We got the Hank Aaron organ? Let's get the Hank Aaron. Let's get the Hank Aaron. $7.55. That would be very happy. Look at the lights. $6.666.

I'll send some demons your way. Also, um... Oh, Mook's got a following. I want one of them to where you're standing so far away. And you don't acknowledge it. You're just yelling. And that'll get the comments going. Just like, why is this dude so far?

What's wrong with him? Yeah. Maybe. What's the farthest you could be away? And still... Probably like two miles. The best one, like, I'd be on the Statue of Liberty and the Staten Island Ferry goes by. It's like...

Yeah, that would be the best. I'd be deferred this way. That would be the best. Oh, fuck. This was the best. Alright, where's that now? That's... Oh, fuck. Damn, it's that now? Oh, fuck. Damn, it's not going very fast.

It's not going very fast. I'm 40, 41. What year tops is that? Is that Donruss? Yeah. That's a good one. So I open the pack, and I tell stories. But it's all improv.

It's all off the dome, and you know something. Is that blue? The blue battery, yeah. Get something about that. Dan, usual. The blue backer, yeah. Get his face there. Jack Howell. Gary Carter. Gary Carter started his career at the Expos.

Obviously went to the Mets. Then went on to play for the Giants. That's good. That's good content right there. You can see why I have so many followers. You got to throw some text on the screen. Yeah, you got to listen to us. All right. I mean, one a week will do nothing. Well, yeah. I got to throw some text on the screen. Yeah, you've got to listen to us. All right. I mean, one a week will do nothing.

Well, yeah, I've got to do more. Do you like the speakeasies play? I know, but I feel like, yeah. I try to make it unique. I spend a lot of time thinking about it. Like, do I get the most unique, interesting one? I don't know. You've got to throw some fodder out there so the unique ones pop more.

I'll have some fodder. That's how it works. Yeah, you guys are probably right. Go down to the seaport where the Titanic was supposed to arrive. That's a great one. That's a really good one. I like that. That's good, yeah.

That's a good idea. Go to, like, Trump Tower. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just anxious to see you pass Barry Bond

I mean Hank Aaron I'm more into this chase than I was Barry Bond's chase me too oh you did it yay

alright have a good weekend happy Mother's Day thank you everyone I'll see ya John's got a lot of cool stuff, too. Shit. Happy birthday to Alex from B. Have a good weekend, freaks.