The Yak - Technical Issues HAUNT The Chicago Studio | The Yak 8-8-23

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

MookYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, yeah, it's so choppy. Stay in power, boys. Stay in power. This is so choppy. Show me. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, yeah, look at us.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I have none of that. Get that off. All right, here are the options. Stefan's going to say it right now. Talk into the mic. Oh, wait, why is it playing? What's happening now?

That's on my phone. That's on my phone. Okay. Here are the options, Stefan. Talk into the mic. People will get half of this. We need to do, like, a five-minute restart of the computer. Okay, take two. Oh, that was... Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no no look how smooth i'm going okay are we good

just a little delayed are we good is this a problem still i think we're good this is a fucking disaster no no i i think we're smooth yeah Someone do something fucking cool. Move to something cool. All right. All right. We're here. It's the Yak. It's presented by Roback. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Use code Yak for 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week.

Roback dot com. 20% off all polos, hoodies, shorts, and more with the code Yak. Joggers, shorts. Shorts are great. I wear them every day. It's the Yak. And we're in Chicago. And that sucked.

The good news is I wasn't already super self-conscious about being off the Yak for two weeks and everyone being like, this show is so much better without Big Cat. So that's good. It takes a lot to get me down. I am as low as possible right now.

One, two, three, four, five, six people uprooted their lives for this. Let's go. Apologies to everyone. as possible right now. One, two, three, four, five, six people uprooted their lives for this. Yeah, fuck. So yeah, all right. So let's go. Apologies to everyone. I know that everyone's going to shit on us. That comes with the territory.

I even said to TJ, because he's been watching the chat, I was like, how's it going? He's like, I'm okay. That's how you know it's bad. That pretty much means TJ's got a gun in his mouth. But yeah, it's the act. We're here for today, tomorrow, and Thursday. Oh, tomorrow. Good news, guys. Tomorrow we're doing it from a bowling alley, so that will technically be fine.

Yeah, it'll probably just go better. Fuck. All right. I missed you guys. I missed you. I missed you a lot. Both of you guys. You didn't miss much.

I feel like I missed everything. Last week was action-packed. Yesterday was too, I guess. Can I say something that I'm just going to bear all here and just show you my weaknesses. During my two week

break, I had to mute the Yak account because I was getting so much FOMO. Every time there was a clip, I was like God damn it, I wish I was with the guy. It sucks when going on vacation seeing the fellas have fun without me and I'm just with my fucking family or the group chat and being like okay who's picking up the sake

yeah that one hurt a lot I didn't even think about that digging a hole in Ohio and they're like show hey day tomorrow I was like mother fucker and you always wanted a show hey day I think you pitched that idea I know you guys were like no we don't even like this guy No and then we liked him

We started liking him as soon as you left I actually put a lot of people on to him Yeah you did Not many people talk about him It was to raise awareness Not enough he should be in movies I agree with you on that He's the modern day Babe Ruth No he's better we if only you were there no what's going on

here how's everything oh no look at us look we're we choppy yes or self-confidence Stefan is we did a crash most hated man in the world right now. I feel bad for him because the whole studio just staring at him being like, are we live yet? Are we live yet? Are we live yet? Are we live or no? We are live.

It's just probably not very good. Well, that's on us. That's great. That's great. People will definitely be cool with this. They're not going to be upset about this at all. Good thing Mook and TJ got on a train at 3 o'clock in the morning to go to Philly to fly here to make it on time. I'm happy to be here, boss man.

Mook, tell us. I mean, I don't even know. I said it to TJ when he walked in the door. I was like, if one flight gets cancelled, I quit. I'm like, no trip. I'll be honest, my living situation right now, I was stoked for two nights in a hotel room. I would have traveled 24 hours to be there. Why? Where are you living right now? I'm living in Jersey City, sleeping on a broken twin bed with a random roommate and his girlfriend.

How the fuck is that? What do you mean a broken bed? Yeah. A broken twin bed. Yeah. A broken twin. A broken twin. I don't know.

How do you break? It's not even big enough to break. I was eating too much spaghetti and meatballs in there, I think. Okay. Yeah. Did you gain too much weight for your bed? I think so. Wait.

So are you listening to them have sex? I'm listening to everything. Are you jerking off when they have sex? Yeah, he's horny as hell. When he's drunk, especially. Oh, when I drank with Mook Heavy for the first time. Horny. When was this?

You obsess over women. Is that true? I don't obsess. I like queens. In all sizes? All sizes. All sizes.

Not thin. I mean, look, a queen's a queen. I treat them all the same. No, you're right.

And everywhere he goes, every neighborhood, every borough, every area there is a queen. I am looking for Chicago queens actively. Please slide in my DMs. We should probably make this like a show. I think we should make this a show. Mook looking for his queen. Yes. But last night was rough.

It was rough for sure. Have you slept? Have you or TJ slept? I got like two hours in. TJ? On the plane. Oh, I got like two hours in. TJ? On the plane. Oh, I don't think your mic's on, TJ. It's fine.

Again, people are not going to overreact to this whatsoever. They're not going to be like, the Chicago Yaks are going to suck forever. They can't count the ones from here. Right. So, all right. Yeah. So, I have an update for the office. So, we're faced with, I would like to hear what you guys think.

So I went and visited it, talked to the foreman. Were you wearing a hard hat when you were on the tour? I had to wear a hard hat. That's so adorable. Yeah, I'm too big for a hard hat at this point. So, yeah, I talked to him because I was like, you know what? I'm going to go talk to this guy instead of talking to Pete because Pete has been honest but also kind of not too

honest about a lot of stuff so there was one hiccup I guess there was a pipe underneath the basketball court that needed that didn't pass inspection not a big deal essentially September 15th we could move into the new studio so the yak and PMT studios will be done I don't know how that happened that was just random that those two studios were the ones that they rushed and tried to get done as fast as possible that's um that's pretty lucky for you yeah i don't know i was like oh shit oh and the gambling cave oh okay uh so we can either move in september 15th or while there's still maybe some construction going on or move in like first week of October. I don't know which one's the right answer.

Part of me is like it's a 12-year lease. Why the fuck am I stressing over two weeks? I think the sound of the construction and how loud it is is going to be a big factor. He said they could do all their drilling in the morning. That seemed like a lie when he told me that, but it seems like a really good construction lie. It would be cool, though, to have some of those blue-collar characters

come and pop on the show. Yeah, that's true. We could get some all-time fella. That's true. I also like the idea of us having free reign in a construction zone. In a construction zone. In a construction zone. With tools and stuff.

You guys are pushing me to the September 15th. And what if there's wet cement? We could put our hands in it. Like forever be immortalized. Yeah. We could bury some stuff under the basketball court. Oh, a time capsule. Oh, a time capsule.

A yak capsule. When will the roof ball roof be ready for September 15th? No. That will probably be, that's probably one of the last things to go in. If we're being honest. We got the US Open on the 23rd. We got to practice. All right, so does your new house have it?

Because that's the other thing I was thinking about. So if we decide to go the October route, we could use September to do some of our off-site things that we've been talking about. Corn maze. We could play another round of roof ball. We could camp out at Brandon's as long as it's not sponsored. Yeah, we could camp out at Brandon's ball camp out of brandon's sponsor yeah we camp out of brandon like i was thinking about that i was like hey the weather's still nice

let's just do a bunch of these off-site things might be the play yeah i like that idea a lot okay does your house have roof ball capabilities i've only been there once i have to look okay cherries might probably one of ours okay but're going to be boxing your home by doing that. True. Good point. So we'll find another roof ball. Okay. Someone else will give us a roof ball set.

Oh, I bet a lot of people here would offer their house for a roof ball. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So yeah, that's kind of the dilemma I'm dealing with again. It's not like I'm freaking out constantly every single day about the fact that it's not ready uh so yeah just be cool about it can we do like a half and half like a child of divorce

what do you mean like can we do some here and some there yeah we could i think we can do whatever we want like if i tell them we're going to go september 15th i think they'll have the yak studio ready for us so but nothing else will be ready. But yeah, it sucks because I'm basically like, I know that I shouldn't listen to people being like, it's not ready, it's never going to be the same, but unfortunately your boy's listening.

And it's hurting my feelings bad. You can't play that right. I know, I know. I'm not that guy, but I am in this case. This show right now is hurting my feelings bad. I'm down bad. Outside of you, when was the last time you guys really got your feelings hurt? Outside of you?

Literally what I'm describing right now. Outside of you in that situation. Okay. Jay, what about you? You get a lot of mean, mean insults. People say mean things about me all the time. That's true. But one time it's had to have affected

you when did yeah there has to be something that was like true that got you somebody honed in on something that was just true yeah everyone remembers like the last okay i have one in college uh i was at a bar talking to a girl thought i was doing it well, went to the bathroom, and I came back and I overheard her being like, I would never hook up with a guy with eyebrows that big. Big eyebrows. Yeah, that one hurt really, really fucking bad. Really bad.

Your eyebrows aren't even big. They're pretty big. They are pretty big. I understand that. It's something that I've grown into. I think my face has grown into it. And did you tweeze them afterwards? I tried, and then that's an impossible thing

to keep up with. That one hurt really, really bad. That's the fact. That's fair, that's fair. It's a ripe age for her feelings. Yeah, right. Exactly. When was the last time my feelings were truly hurt?

Like, really hurt. That one put me down for a while. Luke, any eyebrow stories? I was going to say I have the same thing, hurt. That one put me down for a while. Mook? Any eyebrow stories? I was going to say I have the same thing, except she couldn't see my eyebrows. I take those L's every day, Big Cat. You just got to bounce back.

I feel like you're a walking L machine. I get some doubt. You haven't heard the anuses when he's recapping. He's trying so hard to get a W, and he can't. I'll get a W. What's it with you and Max, Philly guys? Just can't catch the W?

We're just hustlers. We're just trying. We try hard, and we fall hard. Did you guys see Max get his tit ripped off? Yeah, I saw that. I saw that. If you're a heftier guy, that's the last part of your shirt you want to rip. It was perfectly Max, too, because he does take L's like Mook,

and he knew going into it, he's like, I'm going to take an L, but he didn't expect that. And that happened. He's like, what the fuck? How is this possible? He was the Tahoe toe tickler thing. I saw that before he got tagged in it, and I was like, holy shit. That was hilarious.

Did you guys see that? Wait, that was real? That was just his face. That was, memes did that very meanly. Oh, wait, wait, wait. So there wasn't a Tahoe tattoo? There was. His face was as round as Max's, and then memes.

Yeah, I fell for that, too. I fell for it. It was just his face. I lost my edge. I fell for PFT's sauna thing, and I've been killing myself for about two months. Trying to get up to his sauna numbers? Because he said he did 30 minutes in like a 200, and I've been killing myself for about two months. Trying to get up to his sauna numbers? Because he said he did 30 minutes in like a 200, and I've been fucking my body up, trying to surpass like 16, thinking if PFT did it, I have to do it.

And he was kidding. Damn. He was making fun of me. So the audio sucks, huh? Oh, does it? Everything sucks? Yeah. I just logged on, and we're just like bleeding numbers

okay we have more options let's hear the options can they even hear us or what's the deal all right stefan talking to the mic so that people can hear the options can they hear so with this is when this is live i can't fuck with any of the settings because everything's grayed out when it's live okay so fixing it on the fly is just not a thing okay so this is like apollo 13 so what do i have like does everybody have to be out like at a certain time because if i got appropriate amount of time and we launched this thing well instead of in like five minutes we we could get a good show, but I might need a couple minutes. How much time?

They have the mid-show after this. The mid-show is handled. Don't worry about that. Okay. I have an interview at two, but how long is the time? I will get you at least an hour yak show, and you be ready to go by two.

That is my promise. What do you guys think? I mean, we can't try to do this. To be completely 2. That is my promise. What do you guys think? I mean, we can't try to do this. To be completely honest, this is dog shit. I don't want it to be dog shit. All right, so we're going to do a show from 1 to 2 Central Time. That would be amazing. But hopefully even like 1255.

1255. All right, so we'll just restart again. Sorry. That's okay. That's fine. I don't know what's going on. Hopefully no one heard about the eyebrow thing. Yeah, that would be awesome.

This is lost forever. Don't worry. Your eyebrows didn't look any choppier. All right, so we'll be back in 20 minutes. Yeah, sorry. Okay. All right. Take three.

I'm going to sit away from the mic. Not everyone's back in here. I guess we probably should have told everyone to come back in. I'm going to see if from the mic. Not everyone's back in here. I guess we probably should have told everyone to come back in. I'm going to see if they slowly realize that we're live again. I'm very upset about all this. I feel awful. I love the Yak fans. Use promo code Roback or promo code Yak.

Roback.com. 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week rowback.com promo code yak 20 off your first purchase through the end of this week okay since no one's in here yet and they're going to slowly trickle in when they realize i'm live i'll just say this i'll pour my heart out for a second uh yes this sucked today and overall uh the move has me very anxious and uh stressed out. I care very, very much about the product we put out there for the people.

And when people are like, everything sucks now, I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. I'm just being honest. I'm bearing my soul to the people who are listening right now. Yeah, I care a lot. I want to make people laugh. I want people to enjoy what we put out. And it keeps me up at night. So I guess I just give the same speech I gave a few months ago. Just please trust. I hope that over the decade plus that I've been doing this, I've made, I've,

I have enough of a leeway that you can trust that I care and I'm going to work my ass off. Um, people like, Oh, well the mooch Chicago, like you're, you're not going to work. I'm going to work my ass off. People are like, oh, well, the move to Chicago, you're not going to work. I'm going to work harder. People aren't moving here for me to work less. I'm going to work harder than I've ever worked. So, yeah, I guess that's my speech. I know that people will say shit. Oh, look, the guys are here.

I was bearing my soul. Were you doing a monologue? I was doing a monologue. I was bearing my soul. I was like, I'm very stressed out as a human being right now. There's a lot on my plate. I am very worried about everything. This whole move is like your baby.

It is. And it's fucking stressing me out. But that's okay. We need you to have the confidence. But also, people want us to fail. Right. People that like us want us to fail. That's the storyline. I do have.

They have feminine brains. They like to gossip. Yeah. That's a fact. yeah i that's the fact i do have the confidence i do have the confidence i hope you guys know i have the confidence i was just saying that like for anyone who thinks that this move is uh for some some way for me to work less i'm gonna i'm probably gonna end up working harder than i was the last few years um you were really transparent to us when we agreed to it that you would be you know be signing on to. Yeah, I was like, I'm not going to have everyone

move out here and open this office and then in like three years be like, oh, I'm semi-retired. I've told I think everyone here that five to seven is the minimum amount of years that I'm going to be keep working at this pace.

We're going to reassess when I'm 45. That made me throw up a little just thinking about being 45. Who takes the mantle? Sass? Sass might take the mantle. Mook, I think, is up there. Yeah, yeah.

It'd actually be funny to be like, Mook, you take Barstool and just see how quickly it would disappear. I don't know if it would change. It would change. It would vanish. Something would happen. Something would have to happen. We should do an undercover boss series with Mook where he runs Barstool for a week.

Honestly, that should just be a series at Barstool where one person is in charge for a week. Yeah. Well, Nicky Smokes is already doing that. Is he? Yeah. He's been doing that here. Yeah, he's a fucking parking spot. Yeah.

I mean, you guys weren't here yet, but I think I like Nicky Smokes. I think he's just a douchebag. He seemed like a cool douchebag. Right, exactly. People are like, oh, you're saying you like him just because you have to say it. No, I think he is just the douchebag that everyone's going to hate, but you need one of those guys in the crew. And it's also very tough for him right now because this is a small office

with very few people here. So his douchebag is like 10x. When you get into a bigger office with more people, it's like, oh, there's the douchebag. Don't worry about him. And it's also got to be tough to like, everybody around him is so likable. So likable to their core.

I'm at him. He's very friendly. I think for our job, he's doing a really good job. Yeah. For our job. Well, we'll find out. Our job isn't to be the most likable person. No, that's true. That's true. You know that very well, Che.

Do you want to bring him in? That was last time I came here. You want to bring him in? I've already had. So, yeah. So, there's two parking spaces at this Chicago office. So, we have this Chicago office for the rest of the year. So, we're going to have a space no matter what. I talked about the move and the new office delay in whatever,

the first version of this show or the second version of the show today. Yeah, the lost tapes. No one mentioned my eyebrows. But so today I get to work, and I'm saying to myself, like, I could take one of the two spots. I could. But I also, like, this is Eddie in chief and White Sox Dave in Carl's space. Like, I'm not going to take one of their spots.

I parked a couple blocks away and walked. I get to the back of the office, and I see a Miami license plate. It doesn't even say Florida. It says Miami. I'm just like, wait, hold on a second. Is Nicky Smokes parking in one of these spots? And I come in, and he's like, yeah, well, I park in it. And then when Eddie comes, I double park Eddie in.

I'm like, how is that better? So he's a douchebag. Yeah. My first Nicky Smokes interaction, seeing him in person, was after that. He walked away with a Celsius in his hand and just said to himself, I need a fucking Zin right now. Right fucking now. He's kind of the man.

Yeah. There's something ende He's kind of the man. There's something endearing about him, for sure. Nah. Have you guys gotten mammograms yet? For breast cancer? Yeah. No, but I've always said that it would be very funny if I died from breast cancer. Like, in all the funny ways you could die if I died from breast cancer.

Yeah, I think we still need to. Men? I think you just feel for a lump though. Would you tell people if you had breast cancer or would you just say I have cancer? I'd tell them. If my boys were wearing a pink ribbon for me, I would not. Oh my God. Men can't get breast cancer. Nick is so...

Yes, they can. Oh my goodness. What did I just say? See, this is an important conversation. You should be talking about the mammograms. You didn't know this? Uh-oh. They recently asked me on the chick's social show what a mammogram was, and I thought it

was the... Pap smear. The thing they stick up with the jelly and the... An ultrasound? An ultrasound? I don't know. Whatever you do with the gynec an ultrasound an ultrasound oh is i don't whatever you do with the gynecologist i thought that's what it was there's a couple things there's a few you know but so no i didn't i didn't know what a mammogram was but it's it's a guys can't get

breasts yes they can yes they can yes they can. And that would be the most embarrassing way to go on. Yeah. Of all the embarrassing ways, that would be it. Yeah. What? We're not fucking with you. Nick has a ribbon for celiac, which is insane. But have you noticed anything different? How's it been going?

He has way more pep. I have way more pep. Because no gluten? No gluten. He used to be the guy like, oh, I had to go home at like 9. 9 o'clock. I'd have one beer and be like, I'm fucking sick. You're basically like when someone has like an overweight Labrador.

They're like, well, we put him on this new diet and now he's running for the tennis Exactly like that. Yeah. But I'm also concerned because like you guys have had dogs die. When the dog is about to die, it gets what? No, I have. Yeah. But like those last

three days, they get that one thing of energy and they're like, oh, maybe they're good now. Yeah. And that's what I'm afraid of. I had an awkward... My father-in-law was over the other day and he was like, so Stella Blue Coffee's going well? And I was like, yeah. He's like, well, have you thought about what happens when Stella dies?

I was like, what the fuck, dude? Oh my god. That sucked. I just walked, what the fuck, dude? Oh my God. That sucked. I just walked out of the room. Most companies are named after dead people. True. The majority of companies

named after things, yeah. Yeah. Like what? Orville Redenbacher. Samuel Adams. Samuel Adams. Those are the big two. Wilbur Wright.

What does he do? The Memorial. Rockefeller Records. Rockefeller Records. Rockefeller Records. Steve, you said you did something cool on the plane today? Yeah. We wouldn't let you tell it, but we all agree that it probably won't be cool. Maybe not cool, but I would say innovative.

So I learned something today. So i've always been a paper ticket guy like you don't check in you wait till you get to the airport and then you check in because i like to have the physical paper instead of continually bringing up my app or whatever on my phone so i learned that's a mistake you have to check in because otherwise you don't have a seat and it can be given away so i actually they the flight was oversold by one they gave me a seat but someone had to give it up and the guy who gave it up it was like essentially the worst seat on the plane was in the last row in a middle seat but the plane got the plane landed and then they were waiting for a jet

bridge so everyone was kind of waiting and I had to pee. So I was like, oh, I'll just get up and pee here. So I peed while the plane was docked or on the ground instead of waiting to get off and then going to a bathroom. That was your cool move? This is the cool move? I said cool, probably the wrong word.

Innovative, yes. Using a bathroom on the plane. Pissing. Pissing is innovative. While it was landed. Like, you're not supposed to do that. I'm begging for the stream to go down. This was all a mistake.

What? Wait a minute. That was... I knew it wasn't going to be cool. I didn't think it was going to be this bad. Well, I mean... I slept on the plane today. That's innovative.

Wait, so that means you have to sleep less because you slept on the plane. He's got you one up. This was kind of meant for behind the scenes. The bathroom's right there when you get off. When you're in the back row. I missed you, Che.

I missed you so much We need to clip that That's going live Stephen Che hacked the system Just hopping off What the fuck Y'all see that new pigeon The English powder

I got put on Can we see it? Oh it's a horrible beast. By the way, if people are asking for where Brandon is, he has COVID. And is that proven? He sent me a video that seemed like he has COVID. It was a sad video. He is Charlie Brown.

I don't know what else can happen to him. It's like everything bad happens to Brandon. Yeah. Yeah. So the car accident really shook him up. Yeah. And so. When did he tell you guys about the car accident?

He didn't tell me. He told me. He only told seven people. Okay. Yeah. Congrats, guys. That's another Brandon. What a position to be in.

Yeah. Brandon loves to be like, hey, can I tell you something that you can't tell anyone else? He's like, sure. My whole family died. Oh, okay. Don't tell anybody. So somebody sent me an article to send to him. They tell people who are traumatized from car accidents to play Tetris.

Apparently Tetris helps you get over the trauma. While driving? No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So you're having fun when it's happening. But no, he's been sending me pictures. He's been playing Tetris.

Jesus Christ. Do you think it helps at all? Do you feel? Yeah, it's happening. But no, he's been sending me pictures. He's been playing Tetris. Jesus Christ. Do you think it helps at all? Does he feel? Yeah, it probably helps. It wasn't even his car. Oh, really? It was Caitlyn's car. Yeah.

And so the car is totaled, right? Like there's no. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I didn't know that. He did like a Jesus take the wheel, like lucky to be alive. Yeah. He's going 60.

Hydroplaning is scary. Yeah. So, yeah. He's going 60. Hydroplaning is scary. Yeah. So, yeah, he's got COVID. I don't know if he'll be here tomorrow or Thursday. But, yeah, there's no one that I've ever encountered who has worse luck than Brandon. Ever since he became rich. He got the new contract. Yes.

Everything bad has happened to him. Family members started dropping like flies. Yep. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. His landlord died. Remember that? Yeah. Everything bad has happened to him. Family members started dropping like flies. His landlord died. Remember that? If you were tertiary in Brandon's life, you've died.

Are you guys worried being in his fave five? We're secondary. His mom's dog got hit by the car. No, his dog. His dog, yeah. His Uber got demolished. Oh yeah, he opened up the Uber door yeah. His Uber got demolished. Oh, yeah, he opened up the Uber door. The door came off. He had to pay for it.

Wow, there's a lot. There's a lot. Yeah. But he might just have bad luck all the time. It's basically ever since he had the barstool hire, getting like, that was the best luck that could have ever happened. That was insane luck that it happened. Everything had to work out.

And then from that moment on. It probably wasn't worth it no no he probably he definitely thinks that too where he's like i wish i just stayed a worm farmer there yes there's definitely people that that are loosely connected to him that have died he doesn't know yet too yeah his. His mailman, I'm sure. For sure. Who is probably fucking his wife. Don't piss me off. Don't piss me off. Alright, so what else did we miss? Because I feel like I missed a lot. It was only two weeks. I missed you guys very much. Shohei Otani Day.

It was huge. Yeah, that was good. The Japanese horse races were Did you see that? I want to do it. Oh, we're going. We were just fine. The Japanese horse races were... Oh, did you see that? I want to do it. Oh, we're going to get on that. Can we do it? Yeah, we can do it. All right, I want to do it.

We can do it. That was the moment when I muted the act. Because I was like, this is... You would have loved that. This is exactly what I would have... You would have been on the floor. Yeah. These are...

Like, if you're like, hey, what do you want to do for the rest of the day? I don't know. Watch fucking fake horse races with my friends? I think that if you were there for that, that would have replaced the wheel as the premise of the show. Every day we watch it. Yeah, yeah. Can we watch one, TJ?

Or is that going to bring down the whole stream? I think TJ's too sweet. TJ, by the way, is more stressed than I am somehow. And that's why I love him as a producer. Because I had a little side conversation with him. He's like, this is so fucked. This is a massive bend in a long time. It makes you look bad.

And I was like, yeah, it's always nice to have somebody that can equal out or even Trump your anger. Right. He did that. TJ made an all time move on the plane today. Oh yeah.

Tell us about it. So tell us the whole trip. I don't even understand how you guys had, you guys were basically doing the Oregon Trail in real life. Yeah. Basically last night it was raining out. I was in the rain walking back to my apartment and first flight got cancelled.

Second flight got booked again. Cancelled within 10 minutes of getting it. So now I'm just down bad. I get back to my apartment. We book a 3am train back to Philly. May I interrupt really quick? Yes. What were you doing before you found out the flight was cancelled?

I was doing stand up. And how'd it go? I bombed my dick off. So I'm just in the rain hating myself down bad. That's gotta be such a shitty feeling. What do you mean you bombed your dick off? Isn't that like... You're dickless?

Dickless. I'll never understand it because I've seen you crushed with the same set of jokes. It doesn't matter. Everyone bombs. It's just... It happens. Why... Oh, everyone bombs at some point.

Yeah. Not this specific venue or anything. But was this your worst bomb ever? No. No. It was just a bad set. It's raining out. I'm wet.

And I find out first my original flight's canceled. Then I find out I have to go to Philly at 4 in the morning and then take another flight. That got canceled. So now I'm like, oh, it's over. My life is over. My life is over. Yeah. And then I find out we're taking a 3 a.m. train and a 6 a.m. flight out of Philly.

So we're chilling. So I get back to my apartment. I have some spaghetti and meatballs. On your twin on my broken twin bed to make myself feel better yeah yeah and then i wake up an hour and a half later and then me and tj meet at penn station okay so you go back in from jersey city to penn station yep to get your train to philly to get your flight to Chicago. Exactly. So I went Manhattan, Jersey City, Jersey City, New York, Penn Station,

Penn Station, Philly. And at that point, I'm numb. I feel nothing. And Philly to the airport sucks too. Like the train station over to the airport is old. There was a full, TJ can attest, there was a full family on the train that was moving their entire life to Philadelphia.

They might have had 15 suitcases. Actually. Okay. That's good. That's good perspective. You guys at least were not them. But we got on the Southwest flight and TJ made a crazy move on picking his seat. Okay.

It's like the communal seating, so you don't get in a certain seat. Oh, is it Southwest? Yeah. Yeah. So I walked by and I saw a mom with a newborn baby sitting in an aisle, and I took the risk. I was like, I don't think anybody's going to sit between me, the big fella, and the newborn baby. So I just sat next to the baby, and I said, I'm going to take this risk, and hopefully nobody sits in between us. Did the baby cry?

Did it pay off? I have no idea. I was asleep the whole flight. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Oh, that was your best option no idea. I was asleep the whole flight. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Oh, that was your best option? No. It was my first option.

I was like, yep, this could work out. Yeah, because there's that moment when you're on a Southwest flight where you're like, should I grab the first option or is there something better in the back? Yeah. And there never is. Yeah, there never is. But if you're in the back, little cheat code. Oh, go on.

Let's say you have water. Okay. Bladder gets full. Uh-oh, I have to piss. Go to the bathroom. What do you mean? On the plane. Instead of waiting for the airport.

You can go on the plane. On the plane. Right there. There's a toilet. While it's on the ground. While it's on the ground, you can. After it's landed, nobody does that. on the ground you can after after after it's landed nobody does that because everyone's just waiting to go off

oh fuck steven when's your official move uh day after the case race oh no oh how did you sell that to the wife? We're in talks right now. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. That's going to be a problem. Is this new house in a flood zone?

No. All right. So that's good. We got to come up with KB's Wild for Stu's house. Yeah. So we're doing it there. Yeah. So we're going to do regular show Monday, tape the case race Monday night, which will air on Friday.

That'll be the last New York studio yak. And then Tuesday, we're going to go out to Stu's house. We're doing live. We've got to figure out a bunch of shit we're going to do. Yeah, play some chicken. And then after that, we're going to tape a KB's Wild that will air Thursday. Great. And I would also like to do a draft. Ooh, yeah.

Do a draft then. Yeah. Yes, we have to do a draft. Maybe, yeah. Get a draft in. Yeah. Yes, we have to do a draft. Maybe the draft can be part of the case race. Yeah. I've never done that. That would be awesome. A duel?

A case race while you're... Yeah. Or should we save this for the first week of Chicago? We could do that, too. Because you know what effect... That's true. If we end on a crazy high note, everyone's going to... Yeah, I'm fucked no matter what you are yeah no

i'm gonna be you i feel like we've we've done a freaky friday switch me and you kb mental right you're feeling great i feel amazing and i feel terrible yeah it's probably gluten yeah i'm on a diet this is my last diet of my life. Oh, God. Yeah. No, I'm going to kill myself if I don't lose weight this time. It's the last diet I ever do. Okay. Go on. What is it?

I'm going to lose weight, and if I don't, I'll kill myself. But do you have a specific plan? You're like, I'm following the whatever method. No, it's just the last diet of my life. Doesn't that sound cool when you say it? It does. It's the last diet of my life. I'll never diet again. So what did you have today so far?

Nothing really. Eggs. You fasted? Eggs this morning. No cheese? No cheese. Hard-boiled eggs. Oh.

You're going to miss pastries. You're going to miss pastries so much. Or a tart. Why are you guys doing this to me? What's up? You got a fucking tart, dude. Tarts are good. Oh, my God.

Imagine if mid-October I haven't lost a pound and I just kill myself. You guys are just like. You do it through football season? Or like part of the way? Yeah, this is the worst time. I don't understand. It's the last night of my life. Well, so are you going to kill yourself?

Or are you just going to commit to. Like, are you going to get enormous? Yeah. Kill myself slowly. Yeah. Yeah, probably. It's harder than you think. Yeah.

Yeah. People don't die anymore. Or a Zempik. Or they just. Yeah. Kill myself slowly. Yeah. Yeah. Probably. It's harder than you think. Yeah. Yeah. People don't die anymore. Or ozempic. Or they just. Oh. I told you about that. Don't do that. Say it strips your personality away.

Yeah. After like a year. You're like a zombie. Is that. You lose all like compulsions. Right. So even like good or bad. Right.

Fun. Fun. You lose your excitement. But you get hot. You get hot. Right. That's You lose your excitement. But you get hot. Right. That's a trade-off. You want to be hot in your 40s?

True. Good point. Good point. That's weird. Who's somebody that got hot in their 40s? Is there like a celebrity case? There's some. Jonah Hill.

Jonah Hill, yeah. Is he hot or is he cool? He's just skinnier. Everyone called him not funny anymore when he lost the weight. Yeah, true. I just want to get jacked. Maybe Dave? Dave?

Yeah, yeah. Dave got significantly hotter. Is he happier? Dave was gross like 10 years ago. The picture of him with the candy, giving the kids the candy. Oh, that happened in Chicago. That's like a whole different human being. Can you find that, TJ?

That's one of the funniest Barstool pictures ever. He's just. Yeah, he was completely different. Yeah. And then he got hot. Megan Fox got hotter.

Yeah, but she always was like her Adele. Adele is a good one. Who's Adele? But it's always Rich Paul. That's right. That's right. Look at that. He looks like that fucking? Rich Paul. That's right. That's right. Look at that.

He looks like that fucking, that new pigeon. That was 2013 in Wicker Park in Chicago after the Greg Olson kickball tournament. And what's he doing? He's buying candy off of a kid on the street. One of the funniest pictures. That's one of the fatter things you could do. While we were going to dinner.

We were either leaving dinner or going to dinner. And that kid wasn't even selling it. He was like, name your price. I just saw it. Is that a cat? Wait, so what's with these pigeons? A new pigeon dropped? Trigger warning. What was it through breeding?

Like they tried to make this pigeon? It's a British pigeon. What is it called? I can't find it. The English powder, dude. That's a great name for like cocaine. Yeah. Like a strand of weed.

Yeah, an English powder. I could see you going to like a weed shop. P-O-U-T-E-R, not powder. Yeah, weed shop. And they're like, yeah, try this English powder strain. It will make you feel like you're on cocaine. It's a hybrid. It's more visceral high.

It's going to boost creativity. No, all of them make me panic. I've never gotten that creativity strain. Look at. It looks like it's missing something. Someone photoshopped its chest out. I hate it. Why is it standing in a huge pile of messy poop, too?

Is that a chest or a neck? Dude, I think both. No butt? Looks like some big naturals. No, it doesn't at all. I think it does. Che, I don't think we see... What are you seeing?

Where are you seeing big naturals? You guys called me horny earlier. Che's the horniest. Jay stays horny. He stays rocked up. Always. What is that? Yeah, I've been looking through pictures of powders all day.

It's been a bad day. Daniel powder. But it's been bad. The English powder pigeon. The fuck? Not for me. No. What are we getting into tonight?

I want Mook to get a comedy spot. Oh. I want to watch him perform. I don't have the energy for that at all. What if that makes you the funniest you've ever been? Yeah, dude. Like a real dry monotone comedian. When you hit that delirious tired sometimes, you hit a new level.

It's not working right now. No. Yeah. Take some smelling salts. Yeah, that's a good. Some salts. I've hit like five of these already. There you go.

Ooh. I like that you're holding the nostril. Feels like the ocean. Yeah? You want some? Feels like the ocean? TJ, can we play the horse thing? Can you guys explain it to me?

Yeah, it's a DVD in Japan. They come out periodically. Okay. And they sell like hotcakes when they come out. Okay. And everybody gets these DVDs and bars play them. And you just pick your horse and you bet on these virtual horses. That's amazing.

That's it? But the horses, they're not your typical horse. So right now, we'll just all take them. Oh, you'll say, yeah. Okay. But all the races start the same, so you could put these on shuffle when you don't know what race it is. Wait, do we all pick one right now?

Yeah, pause. Or we'll walk out. Okay. Go ahead, Stephen. Yeah, go ahead, Kate. I want four. Kate wants four. Wait.

Do you want me to go through the horses? Yeah, go through the horses. Let's see the horses. All right, I'll do Kate. I want four. Kate wants four. Wait. Do you want me to go through the horses? Yeah, go through the horses. Let's see the horses. Who found this? Me. Of course. You fucking creep. Yeah.

This horse sucks. I'll take it. Okay. That horse rocks. And what is this? This is The standard horse You gotta see the rest Of the horses

This is a thoroughbred Okay That's a good ass horse So you have one Yeah You fucked up Who wants this one That one's a little slut

I'll take it I'll take it Alright Mook's got two Give me that queen There he is Of course Give me that queen Oh look at the mask.

French? That's the French horse. Are they known for their horses? I think they run wild. Yeah. Oh. Me. Me.

Pompadour. Low rider. It's a greaser. Kate's got four. Now, have you guys already seen this particular race? No. No. Okay.

This is a new one. I love those high handlebars. What is on its head? I think it's a blonde pompadour. Pompadour. Bangs. Fluffed. That's the American.

Tandem. Riding for two. Two dudes. Steven, do you understand any of this? As far as picture... TJ, do you remember that Japanese term? Oh, I want this one. I'll take the panda bear. You'll take a panda?

I want the panda. It'd be great if Steven could understand it all and always got the winning horse. Yeah, it says which one's going to win. Pick this one. You're destined to win. A promising outcome awaits. You're allowed and I'm so jealous.

Who wants this one? This is Stefan's. That's Stefan's. And wait, who else? I hope the horse dies. TJ can have seven. TJ can have seven? We know what's coming with eight. Who's taking eight?

Is eight always weird? Eight always fucking falls on the first turn. You're looking harsh. That's a good looking horse. What flag is that? Senegal? Thailand. Okay.

I guessed a country. I was playing the odds. Have you guys been crushing the daily dozen? It's really hard. Not by no means. Three to four. This is yours. It's two people

and a fake horse on the top. Wait, there's two people? That horse fucking sucks. But it has won. It's won once. It'll lose or win. Okay. Let's won once. It'll lose or win. Okay. All right, let's get this race going.

All right. That's a long intro. No, no, it's multiple races on our DVD. There's ten races on our DVD. And some of them are NSFW. Bouncing titties on some of these jockeys. Kate, you're looking good. No, they started the jig too early.

They started the jig far too early. No, I've seen that a million times. Mooks looks pretty serious. Look at those boots. Oh! Oh! But imagine being in a bar in Tokyo or Kyoto and watching this going crazy.

That would be my dream. Yeah. Are you betting on me? Yeah. Fantastic. Okay. Kyoto and watching this going crazy. It would be my dream. It's betting on me? Yeah. Fantastic. If it survives the first turn, it'll win. Let's see.

The horse is dying? See ya. Bye. It was two people. It's come back from that though. It has come back from that once, yeah. This is awesome. Yeah, it's amazing.

But then there are different types of horses on different DVDs. I kind of like where the panda is right now. The panda's kind of at a good spot. Oh, my queen's popping off. Your queen's popping off. If Mook's queen wins. Is this a stretch run? My queen's always good.

Mine's going to turn into a helicopter watch Go baby. Oh my god. Oh No, I like being in love Is that yours yes? No no no look at my look at mine front. Oh, no. Oh, that's good. Sorry. Oh fuck elephant That's good when that happens Oh, that's a good song. Oh, fuck. Elephant. Go. That's good when that happens. Oh, I think I won. It's going to.

What the fuck was that about? Is that the finish line? Yeah. Three. Who's three? I think it's. They got to tell us in English. They got to show. Depict it. That's it. I think it's They gotta tell us in English Who is three? They gotta show

It's a Japanese DVD brother Depict it That's it Who is three? TJ which is three? Who's three? I think it was me The one with the pompadour?

Kyle Can you go back and check Cause I might I don't think I am No let's Let's go We've seen Japan World Cup 2's Horses

Yeah that's you Kyle Is there like seen Japan World Cup 2's horses. Is there a Japan World Cup 5 we could do or something? Or like way later? Let's do one more. That was a warm-up anyway. We need to set the stakes non-monetary. I'm willing to gamble my studio apartment on this. 300 square feet of space. I actually want that for my cat.

It'd be good. Yeah. What are you willing to bet? I'll buy you a new mattress. My routine, my protocol, my Gen 3 protocol. You're on Gen 3? Gen 3. What's going on?

It's a little bit more fun. What's Gen 3? My Gen 3 protocol. Oh, so it's the third version? You can buy it. Just hit DM me if you want it. What are Gen 3? My Gen 3 protocol. Oh, so it's the third version? You can buy it. Just hit DM me if you want it. What are you charging? My previous clients, they all subscribed to Gen 3 from Gen 2.

Looking good. Good conversion. 100% conversion from Gen 2. 100%, yeah. Is there a seven-day free trial? No. Really? How much are you charging?

We're all in. I think i'm in 400 a month you could have said any number you could have i mean yeah that's the newest gen of the protocol so what happens to the people that just stick to gen 2 they're in the dust i found out big flaws in gen 2 like what it was killing me. Yeah. Some of the flaws. Yeah. Gen 3 is good. So you sold a program that would kill your claws?

I was doing sauna too much because of PFT's tweet. That was Gen 2? Yeah. I love that you fell for a fake tweet and then it pushed it created an entire Gen 2.

Yeah. How long were you in the sauna for? I was trying to get 30 minutes in the 205 top floor. Oh my god. That's like 220.

My previous record was like 10 or 12. So now I kept killing myself. Jesus Christ. You were going every day. Yeah. Alright, Gen 3 I'm in. Gen 3. When is that going to be released?

Are you going to release that to the public at all? No. Cold Plunge? Right. Cold Plunges are still in. Yeah. What about, has the diet changed? Yeah, significantly.

More treats. You've got to reward yourself. I'm a Gen 3 guy. No. Kate, how is your kid and partner transitioning To the new home Pretty good no complaints I might subscribe to How is the bunk bed

He won't sleep in his room So the whole reason the biggest selling point of the house Was like this rock wall into the bunk bed Yep Turns out there's a big hole We put the crib under it In case he gets up there There's just a big hole that We put the crib under it in case he gets up there.

There's just a big hole that drops down. Wait, what? Wait a minute. A hole in the bed? So there's two. No shit he doesn't want to sleep in. Half the room is aloft, and it smells like plywood, like brand-new freshly cut plywood, but super strong.

It smells like a Home Depot in there. You have a glory hole in your kids' bed? No. Or is he sleeping in, like, a tire swing? Well, so he's been sleeping in our bed now wait the way you explain this was like he was the crazy one but i think you're the you put a hole in a child's bed and then just a crib to catch him right that's the way it was i don't know how the kids were sleeping up there before because you climb up and you're like, oh, it's a bunk bed. But it's not. It's like half of one, half a loft with this giant square hole that just drops back down to the floor.

It's like every child's nightmare. I don't know what they were doing. So now his crib is like under that hole. And at night I'm looking up and there's weird shadows in there. I don't know. But he's refusing to sleep in the new room. The bunk bed was a big selling point, right? It was.

The whole house was built around the bunk bed. And the first day he was all about it. And now he goes in his room and doesn't even acknowledge that it's there. It's hard to ignore a rock wall. And it takes the whole thing up. And he doesn't touch it. He doesn't like... Yeah, we messed up.

The last time we checked in with you, you thought the house you bought was miniature. Yeah. So the fridge is a little smaller than a regular fridge. The washer and dryer is a little smaller than a washer and dryer. And the garage, I don't know if the car will fit. But it's bigger. We were afraid it was smaller than our last apartment. It is bigger. Okay.

So we have more. So it just has miniature items? It has miniature. There's things about it that smaller than our last apartment. It is bigger. Okay. So we have more. So it just has miniature items? It has miniature. There's things about it that are just a little smaller. Is anyone else in the house acting up? No. The beef, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Part of the selling point was that the first floor would be his. It's like a long hallway to this office in the back. It's like dark as hell down there. Wait, so what did he say? Like, yeah, you can have this house, but the first floor is mine essentially how much is the first floor compared to the whole house i mean it's like 50 50 i would say it's fit he's got the garage a long dark hallway the mini washer dryer and then his office a sliding glass door and a back patio he's been sneaking cigs out there. It's all his. Yeah. So you live in, you like basically rent in his house. And the first thing, we had so much shit to do, so much shit to unpack, and all the doors

and frames in the house are white. And I come downstairs, and he's got the paint stuff out, and he bought those like saw horses or whatever, and he's got the door open, and he's just painting his door black. Yeah. I don't know why. That's so metal. For whatever. It's got the door open and he's just painting his door black. I don't know why. It's so metal. It's his floor. Wait, so let me just rehash real quick.

So the entire first floor is his. The entire kids bedroom is no-go. And all you have is a mini fridge? And it's going well? It's going great. It's going really well. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you were to entertain people what floor would that be on well the roof deck okay but we

also discovered that the guy built a big plywood like standing bar along the edge of the roof deck and there was nails in it so i'm like oh i go to just test how sturdy. It's not attached to the home at all. And it's only about a half inch on either side holding these huge wooden bars onto the roof. So it could flip and fall four stories. You bought a house of cards. Yeah. Every room has a plywood

project. And I tried to wet stuff down and dust it off. And it smells like poop. I don't know how to like poop. I don't know if it's like the finish. That doesn't make it better. No, it's not like that. The finish that they used or something.

I should have Pat send a picture of what his office looks like because. Have you looked into what the insurance money would be if, God forbid? Like our roof of Goodwin knocked our. No, our fire started when everyone was on vacation. I should. I should. I should see. Because there's a lot of every room has something in it that you're like, what is this and why? Interesting.

From the homemade Murphy bed in Pat's office. Made of like seven different kinds of wood that takes up the homemade Murphy bed. The one that comes down from the wall. Yes. Did you buy this house from a beaver? An actual beaver? That's actually maybe why Pat likes it so much. He keeps buying tools and like

I don't go in there because I can't hand. I like looked in there once and I'm in beaveland. So do you have a room? Me? Last night it was the cat, me, our son, and Pat. In the and Pat In the bed In the bed

And you're going to have another Yeah, there's another child on the way Nowhere to put it Wait, Kate's pregnant? Nowhere to put it I don't talk about it a lot I don't talk about it a lot But yeah, no, it's going great

Other than that, I like the area Okay I like the area You better, you're not allowed in the house, really That's true But yeah, it's going great. Other than that, I like the area. Okay. I like the area. Okay. You better. You're not allowed in the house, really. That's true. But yeah, it's been interesting. It's interesting.

We might need to do a house tour. I should. So the guys texted me the first night we moved into the house, and you guys were like, send a picture, send a picture. Because none of our furniture was there yet. We actually stayed over at PFT's house that night. We all crashed in his basement. And so I sent you guys a picture from Pft's house of our family in this beautiful kitchen i was like

the house is amazing yeah yeah we all were like holy shit yeah that was the longest island i've ever seen yeah i was wondering if anyone believed that that was actually my house yeah yeah his house is awesome his house is great i. I went to his house with my kids and I was just like, this is what it's like to have a house with no kids. Because you have all this space that you can do stuff in. Yep, it's pretty sweet. Rudy's apartment here doesn't have any walls.

It's all windows. It is the most futuristic. He said he likes it though. He's an exhibitionist. Yeah, that's perfectly Rudy, I feel like. He'll be streaming in there. He's an exhibitionist. Yeah, that's perfectly Rudy, I feel like. He'll be streaming in there. It's a fuck den. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Every single window is going to have, like, different ass cheeks. And you haven't seen yours? No. Excited? Yeah, I'm excited. I'm going to go there tomorrow.

Pick up the key. You're doing a hotel? I'm pretty much living in a barstool dorm. Why don't you? What is it? I guess 10 people much living in a barstool dorm like what is it everyone i guess 10 people are living in this quad on campus wait wait wait wait my hotel is this is an apartment on some of the floors okay so and i'm fine with that that's all that's a good situation it has a lot of good amenities, a sauna, a workout room.

But like someone's not coming in every day to make your bed. No, but that would be. Would be great. Yeah, I would welcome that. Yeah, that'd be great. And then across from me, I guess 10 people are living there from Barstool. Oh. Like who?

Max, TJ, Jack. That's not bad. Wait, I saw Max's place. It looks awesome. Mackenzie. It's awesome. So your apartment is looks awesome It's a cool looking place Your building, you're with Big T And you guys already have an agreement

We're not acknowledging each other We're both fine with that Big T was so happy to agree to that Wait, Big T's in your building Max is in the building Got it TJ, you're in that building, right? Yep.

Me, Max, McCarthy, McKenzie. And have you been over there, TJ? Yeah, I toured it a couple weeks ago. Yeah, you sent us. That's a really nice apartment you sent us. Yeah. And what about mine? I can see it from mine.

And what does it look like? Looks like a hotel on the first five floors. I think that kind of rules. Yeah, I'm fine with that. You have a nice pool deck out in the sun. You're going to be doing some plyometrics out there, I can imagine. And new people coming and going all the time. Yeah, you don't have to.

Awkward, like, oh, I know this person, but I never talk to them. Right. You don't have to do that. If you come back from a night out, is there a person like waiting to greet you in like a snack area i i don't know oh yeah we're gonna say yeah that would be awesome you just charge breakfast yeah it would be awesome to like have adult meal plans like in college and there's like different cafeterias around the city oh my god i would pay a lot of money for that yes well chef donnie Chef Donnie's going to start cooking for us. Yes.

He's been having fun. Yeah. I don't know if it's been fun. He's been working his ass off. Yeah. I think it looks great. Everything he posts is like the scene from a movie. I feel like it's like The Bear.

He's going to come back with some crazy recipes. So he's trying to convince that. I probably can't. What? He's trying to convince that chef to do a pop-up in Chicago. Oh. Which would be really cool. I don't know if I spoiled any. Sorry, Donnie. No, that's okay. Alright, cool. We're good, Donnie.

Big cat says cool. You're fine. People are only going to remember my eyebrows. His vlogs make me feel like such a piece of shit. Oh, dude. Same. I feel so uncultured. Yeah, he'll wake up at.m get like a crazy meal in and he's not done until midnight yeah he's just adventurous and he still goes out afterwards yeah he's still yeah i'm a big matteo guy yeah yeah big that's the italian guy yeah yeah have you seen his apartment chicago yeah his factory he lives in a factory he lives in in the, what's that Adam Sandler movie?

Oh, Big Daddy. Yeah. Everyone's like, oh, that's what apartments look like? No. No. Except for Chef Donnie. Yeah, his place is insane. And you're pumped with yours.

Yeah, I like, yeah, yeah. There's still a lot of work being done, but yeah, everything's going. Are there still rooms you haven't seen yet? There are not, but I will say there were a couple bathrooms I didn't know existed. That did happen. Half bathrooms. Okay. There's one half bathroom that I found like two days ago.

That's insane. I didn't even know if my apartment had a toilet. Oh, yeah. You actually had to send an email to your landlord. Yeah, they showed a video. The toilet wasn't in the video. I still don't think you have one.

I might not. It's like a communal down the hallway. Do you have the video on your phone just to show them? I don't think there's a toilet. I'll see if I can find it. It's funny because I found out in the weirdest way possible

because there's like painters in my house finishing up and a painter came out of the bathroom after taking a shit and i was like what room did he just come out of and i went in and it smelled i was like whoa okay well this is another bathroom i didn't know that's something that russell wilson's new house it's like i think it's like four or five bedrooms but like yeah 14 yeah. It was just a half. But yeah, that was... Do you have any rooms that are not conventional house rooms? I have a little gym room.

A squat rack. Who the hell's a little gym? Little gym? Uh, no. There's a... There's a... Is your slave? Oh.

That's hilarious. There's a... There's a... Underneath one of the... He's your slave. It's his sister. It's his James. Little Jim. Underneath the staircase is like a little hideaway for the kids, which is cool. For little Jim.

I love that. Yeah, that was... Especially when they're like seven, eight. Stash them. But it is kind of weird That was a big one. Especially when they're like seven, eight. Yeah. Just stash them. But it is kind of weird because if I'm like watching TV and they're in that room, it looks like I just locked my kids in a closet. Do you have a projector room?

Watch game tape? I do not have a projector room. I wish. Our hotel on our floor. On my floor. No. Our current hotel. Oh.

I had a room that was labeled Iron Heaven, and I assumed it was a gym. Right. It was just a room with an ironing board. I walked in on a shirtless guy. He was shaped like a hookah. He was ironing his long torso, fupa, and stumpy legs. Iron-happish. it was like a cute hotel when you go in

there's like a neon lamp that says fuck it oh it's like one of those boutique hotels you can turn the mirror purple Instagram hotel I hate that place yeah the bed

the bed is the entire room yeah and then I accidentally opened the curtain when I was trying to turn on the fan I couldn't control that yeah

are you sure did it say Iron Haven? Heaven? I guess it doesn't even fucking matter. That sounds like a cool name for a gym. Yeah. A cutesy name. Yeah. I thought you guys were going to stay up at the

Wrigley Hotel, but I guess Bruce Springsteen is here the next two nights. You going? You get a lot of concerts. a bunch of my indiana family's coming in for it so i'm gonna get see some family this weekend oh really yep coming in to see bruce coming in to see bruce indiana has dunes sand dunes yes is that cool worth seeing wait i have you seen the tiktoks of in michigan the giant dunes that people go down? There's a sign. And it's like, if you go down here, we're telling you it's huge. If you can't make it back up, it will cost you like $3,000 for the Coast Guard to come get you.

Holy shit. And every day, people get to the bottom and they're like, I guess I'm paying three grand. It's that big. I want to go and see if we can do it. But it's like five hours away. So you go down, you run down the sand dunes. It's like a 5,000 foot dune. Is it impossible to get up or

you can get up? You can but it will take you like people who are super not fit go down these dunes. Oh fuck. We should do this. I want to do it. Brandon would die. Exactly. I want to see who makes it up first. Who like. I can't handle that. But apparently it doesn't look that bad when you're looking down.

So people go down it like old people and people with like goofy legs. And then they get to the bottom. People with goofy legs. $3,000. But like it does look refreshing as fuck at the bottom. Yeah. Leaping down sand dunes is so much fun. Yeah.

It's like going down. I've never leapt down a sand dune. I just am curious. You kind of go airborne. I want to know. You kind of go airborne. Yeah. That's the nature of a leap.

Yeah. But like when you run down the dunes, it kind of just glides you in air. Yeah. Floating. Yeah. You kind of fly down. But I want to go so bad. I want to go so bad.

It's five hours away though. Pregnant lady gets stuck in dune. Yeah. I want to go so bad. I want to go so bad. It's five hours away, though. Pregnant lady gets stuck in Dune. I know. You'll just have a little Jim carry you back up. Yeah. He follows me everywhere. A little Jim. I think I need now to hire

a little Jim. I'm a hire. Well, I'm not going to pay him, but he can eat what I give him. That's good. The best part is if you held open little gym auditions to have a little gym, you get thousands of people to be. Yeah, you could be picky. I'll be your gym. Yeah.

You want to be my gym? I'll be your gym. Okay. You can just hang out in the gym. Are you going to come over and squat with me? I would love to. Yeah. Five sets of five.

Done. Done. Let's fucking do it. Yeah. I had someone else build my squat rack, which is the most emasculating thing you can do. Set it up or build it from scratch? Well, it got shipped and then built it. Oh, yeah.

I wouldn't do that. Yeah. But then it makes you feel like a real pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a Planet Fitness next to your new apartment? Oh, shit got shipped. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't do that. But it makes you feel like a real pussy. Yeah. Is there a Planet Fitness next to your new apartment? Oh, shit. Yeah, probably. That's good.

I have to switch. You said there's clubs with tennis courts. Oh, yeah. I need to do that. Tons of tennis courts. Yeah. Yeah. I think PFT just joined one.

I can hopefully get you in. Maybe. Maybe. You've said some problematic shit that I could probably dig up. Yeah. I'd love to see a resume. Like today. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. They'd have to go back like three minutes. Yeah. Fuck. By the way, high noon. High noon. Tequila lovers who have never satisfied with molten hard seltzer offerings, you're going to love the new high noon tequila seltzer.

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local convenience or liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Thank you to High Noon. I think we're going to do some High Noon stuff at Stu's house. Stu is very excited, by the way. I'm excited. Very excited. It's going to be great.

We're going to play all kinds. We've got to brainstorm what we're going to do at his house. Because I was thinking maybe for the High Noon, go to highnoonspirits.com. We could do maybe a greased watermelon. Oh, I've heard about heard about we did that once at sue's house it became just billy football just like fighting everyone i want to do that we could do the rubber bands watermelon thing too yeah try and make one explode yeah oh yeah that was one of the first videos me and kyle tried to do over covet we thought it'd be funny

to put out a video everybody was doing the rubber rubber band. We wanted it to explode after the first rubber band. I thought that would be fun. We just used off CGI. And it was the worst. Can we see it? Do you still have it? It's got to be... Deep in the archive.

We downloaded a $3.99 app, I think. Okay. To try to make it look real. We tried to cope by being like, it make it look real. Try to hire somebody. We tried to cope by being like, it looks kind of real. People might buy this. I tried to show my mom, and she was like, she didn't believe it. That's bad.

She believes everything else. Yeah, that was dark times. That was like the first thing we did. Like, all right, we're back home. Sports are over. Now's our time. We tried to live stream lighting up snakes on a baseball field we couldn't get the lighter working burning our fingers it was like 20

minutes we called it snake sunday and then like we had one response and it was one dude he's like it's fucking saturday it was snake sunday was on saturday God. Rough start. That rule, Snake Sunday. Snake Sunday was going to be there. On a Saturday. Yeah, every time. When does Monkey Boy come out? Was it packed?

Yeah. It looked packed. It was a lot of people showed up, a lot of Yak fans. They broke their beer record. Hell yeah. A lot of kisses. I gave a kiss kiss but that's illegal

that's a sanctioned event not a oh uh we we did anyway yeah well too i really planted them you did yeah it like made them choke the guys yeah yeah laid on them snakes that's yeah i think october I think October. Okay. For what? For the video. Oh, nice. I want to ask, but I don't want to spot by. I'm going to have to wait and watch and see, but I want to know if it brought Monkey Boy full circle, if he felt fulfilled at the end. Well, we'll wait until October. I know.

I've got to wait. I've got to wait. I'm not going to ask. I do want to know. We can tell you. Yeah, we'll tell you after the program. Okay. Are you guys excited to go bowling tomorrow?

Yes. Actually, Stephen, you can't go to Bruce Springsteen. You need to go to the bowling alley and make sure the yak works tomorrow, right now. Yeah, Bruce Springsteen's at night. Oh, okay. But you're going tonight? We can maybe stay overnight, just in case. Oh, okay.

Yeah, bowling tomorrow's going to be fun. Stephen, you are going to take this very seriously, I can tell. It's bowling. Okay, yep. Confirmed. Say no more. Do we have special shirts, or should I go get something cool? You should get something cool.

Maybe get me something cool, too. Is it one-on-one? Yeah, I'll tell you the bracket. Hold on. Wait, did I? Hank might have it. You made the bracket. I made the bracket.

That's a little bit. What did you see yourself? One. Okay. And who are you up against? Making making money. Okay. Oh, it's a total rig job.

There's one half. My half of the bracket is just Cupcake City, and the other half is just a gauntlet You know you're going to get upset in the first round Oh for sure It's absolutely going to blow up in my face And then it's the double whammy of losing And also being the guy who created the bracket

And then having to watch for the next How long is this going Is this like 11 o'clock 11am tomorrow We're going to do the yak from the bowling alley And then we're starting right after. I think it starts around 3? No, 2 Central.

2 Central, 3 Eastern. Live bowling. So you'll be able to watch everything after. Yeah, I think it's 16 people. We're all competing in the first round concurrently. And then we're going to put the pressure on everyone else. We three afterwards, we're going to be in an area. We're going to do a video afterwards.

We're going to Wheeling an area, we're going to do a video afterwards. Oh. We're going to Wheeling. Oh. Wheeling, Illinois. Uh-huh. Wheeling, Illinois. Chicago suburb. Yes. With more people than Wheeling, West Virginia.

That's right. Probably not as much culture. We're going to check out this one. I love that. If I remember correctly, that's the home of Max Nowry. You do remember correctly. There was no if there. Greco-Roman restaurant. Here's the... Oh, actually, I'm up against Hank first. You do remember correctly. There was no if there.

Greco-Roman wrestler, yes. Here's the... Oh, actually, I'm up against Hank first. Okay. Yeah, because I knew... He's probably really good. Is Hank athletic? He's okay. I knew that I had to not totally make it so bad,

but so it's me and Hank, Jersey Jerry and Megan, Che and Sydney, and then Nick. That would be a good one. You're going up against. Who do you think you're going up against? Process of elimination here. Kyle.

No. White Sox Dave. Yes. Fuck yeah. Brandon and Chief are on the other side of the bracket. White Sox Dave is going to get stuck in the ball. He's going to get stuck in something. He's going to get shot out like a gustus glute.

The sweeps winner is playing Carl. KB, you're playing Dante in the first round. And Eddie's playing Titus. Oh, man. I feel like White Sox Dave, by physique, looks like a great bowler. Yeah, but again, something bad's going to happen to him. That video, the nose. I don't think so.

No, no. No, he said it wasn't a cut. He said it was a A bunch of mini cuts He did Did you not hear him after No He said it was a bunch of mini cuts And once he took a shower

It just It washed He washed all There was no water He said it exfoliated And it's fine Only White Sox Dave I'm so excited

Just hang out with him On the red It's gonna be the best Him just in the mix Just doing Like cause we White Sox Dave It I'm so excited to just hang out with him on the red. It's going to be the best. Him just in the mix. White Sox Dave, you could just be like, I bet you can't do that. And he'll try to do it. Yeah.

For everything. He'll do your bidding. Yeah. He might be my little Jim. He could be your little Jim. TJ, can you spin the wheel? So I have an interview or two that I told you guys about but I moved it to a different room so if you guys want to

yak for another 10 to 15 or Kyle and I good we have to apologies again for everything today guys tomorrow will be good Thursday will be good oh we do have a meeting

we have a company meeting yeah maybe we just do an hour today but all the kinks are worked out yes and this will never never happen ever

ever happen again. If it happens again, we will start eliminating people from life. Yeah. What have you guys been hitting? We have Carbone. Dry, dry, dry, dry, dry, dry, dry, dry.

It's insane. We've been nothing but dry the past two weeks. I love it. What's Chicago's Carbone? I don't know. We could find a place. I'll find a nice place. No, no, no. Fuck it.

It's on the wheel. We have to fly back. Go back and go to Carbone. Le Bernardin's still on the wheel. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm never going to Le Bernardin again. I'm retired from that place.

It is pretty nice to be infamous in a place. I don't know if I'm infamous. Oh, when we went. Yeah, I'm famous. They place. It is pretty nice to be infamous in a place. I don't know if I'm infamous. Oh, when we went. Yeah, I'm famous. They knew exactly who I was. I'm not infamous. Do you know what infamous means? What do you think it means?

Come on, sound it out. It's like notorious. No. Infamous is like famous for the wrong reasons. Okay. Ah. Japan is infamous for Pearl Harbor. It's a day, literally, FDR said a day that will live in infamy.

Give another example. I didn't know that those were correlated. Yeah, what? Infamous and infamy. Yes, same word. Japan famous for Shohei. That's right. That's also true. Give. Same word. Japan famous for Shohei. That's right. That's also true.

Give an infamous example. It's going to be football. The Green Goblin is infamous. In the original Spider-Man movie. Okay. All right. You're close. I mean, yeah. Yeah, you're like right there. Okay. You're close. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, you're like right there. OJ. OJ's infamous, yeah. Famous running back. Infamous criminal. He lives in infamy. Yes. Okay.

Yeah. It's a bad thing. Okay. Okay. Sorry again. So tomorrow, bowling alley. We'll do two hours tomorrow. We'll be set up, ready to go.

I'm Venmoing a random Yak fan 50 bucks. I feel bad. I did that. I obliged every request. You sent me 50 bucks? Okay, yeah. I'll Venmo a random Yak fan as well. There we go.

Perfect. So someone hit me up. I'll just respond a random Yak fan as well. There we go. Yeah, perfect. So someone hit me up. I'll just respond to it. You have to say Yak fucked up. 50 bucks and I'll... No, you have to say I for... It's for forgiveness. Forgiveness. Forgiveness.

Forgiveness. I like that. Okay, see everyone tomorrow. Okay. We got out of it. We did it. We did it. We did it. Sorry, bye.