The Yak - The 2021 Frank The Tank Film Festival (Copyrighted Audio Removed)

Episode Date: July 16, 2021

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Nick, thank you for bringing in lunch today. Yeah, you're welcome. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. He had KB go grab it off his desk, but Nick got us lunch. It's a place I discovered and showed KB, and then he ran with that. He found the restaurant, and it's one of the reasons you want to kill yourself. You're not going to bring me down today. Well, we were just mentioning that you're really lording these sandwiches over us. I might deny.

Who's that cat with the sandwich sack? We were sitting for 20 minutes. We could have eaten these sandwiches. I know. Yeah, they could have been done. Instead, you're like, let's do it on. Frank, give me a thumbs up for the swipe up. Nailed it.

You're getting good at that. Tank Thursdays. We're going to do the finalists. Look at this. Can you get KP right now? No one has ever had more power. I just wish I had just bought my lunch. I bought cutlets this morning forgetting that they were sending us stuff.

They were sending whose stuff? They're sending this show's stuff? That's it right there. Glennie's on his way out. To the shore. Glennie, good luck. We just want to say goodbye. You know what it is? You're kind of late. It's only 1 o'clock on Thursday. You've got to get down

to the shore. I'm following MB. I'm in MB's car. It's not like I'm driving down myself. You're ready to roll. Here's some... I'm going to give you three exercises so your neck doesn't get stiff from eating so much pussy. You've got to go head side to side like this. Side to side. Here's some, I'm going to give you three exercises so your neck doesn't get stiff from eating so much pussy. You got to go head side to side like this, side to side

and then like a praying formation but your head's locked in the middle and then just this. And this. Okay. Instead of your tongue.

The fingers are the tongue. You could just fuck the girl too. I'll try that, yeah. Alright. No, no, no. She won't come. She will not come. Okay. Thanks guys. I'll try that, yeah. No, no, no. She won't come. She will not come.

Okay. Thanks, guys. And she comes first. Of course. Is that a post-pussy mint you have? I was about to go do an after-dinner mint, actually. I was about to go do it. You guys are holding me back from an after-dinner mint.

Wait, wait. Do a post-pussy mint in the style of an after-dinner mint. That's a small suitcase. What's up, fellas? I just ate the pussy. That was some good pussy. That was some good southern pussy. That's a small suitcase.

It's just full of high noon. And beachwear. My mom knows how to pack a suitcase, pal. Did she really pack that for you? A hundred thousand percent. You think I packed that shit? Glennie Balls goes down to the shore like a hobo riding the rails. He has a Balls beachwear tied up on a bindle with a bunch of high noons in it.

Just puts a stick over his shoulder and goes down the shore. We got to normalize bindles. Yeah, bindles have to make a comeback. Oh, no. Oh, no. Frank's headphones. Can you help Frank out real quick, Glennie? We got an issue.

Plug in the female part to the male part. Yeah, right down there. The male to the female. Yeah, that too. Right there. Tech guy, Glennie. All right. Thank you, Glennie. All right. Thank you, Glennie.

Good luck. Have fun. Thank you, guys. Have a good weekend. Make sure you remember all the stories because we're going to have to ask you to tell them on Monday's Yak. Can't wait. Okay, great.

That's Glennie Ball. I'm not hearing anything. What a dick he is. What a fucking bitch he is. So you want me to pass these out? Frank, Phlegm, you on? You good for a sandwich? Do you have one that's plain?

I need a... You need something plain. Plain, please. What do you mean by plain, please? He doesn't want mayo. He's talking about bread. We got chicken cutlet, fresh mozzarella, broccoli rabe. No, no, he doesn't like broccoli rabe.

This is all the same sandwich. You can tell me when to stop. All right. Okay, I'll keep going. Aged balsamic. Oh, no. Vinegar. No, vinaigrette.

It's a vinaigrette. It's a vinaigrette. It's a vinaigrette. Look at these people going out like. Yes, everyone's out of here. This is crazy. This is what we're talking about. Everyone's got to fold themselves.

Thursday at 1 o'clock, I'm out. Yeah, this would never happen in Milton. No. Okay, so what are we doing with these? Passing it down. You can just eat them or hold on to it. Thank you, Cutlet. Cutlet's just opened up 35th and 7th.

Oh, okay. And, KB, do you have a promo code? Are they all three? Painful price. KB has equity in the company. Keep the six. Oh, six is Buffalo. I don't know.

Yeah, Buffalo. Oh, it's still warm. I got a 10 on me if anyone wants a 10. Yeah, I'll take the 10. Take the 10. I got a one. Coming, Buffalo. Oh, it's still warm. I got a ten on me if anyone wants a ten. Yeah, I'll take the ten. Take the ten. I got a one. Coming in, ten. I'll take the one.

The one's fire. I want the one. Oh, there's another six. Who's the lucky bastard with a three or a five? What's three? Three is Broccoli Rob, I believe. All right, so reminder, tomorrow we're going to do our smoothie draft. We have to iron that out.

Yeah, we do. We should probably do some ironing out today. Let's iron that out. So liquid, for sure. Fruit, for sure. Or vegetable. That's one category. Vinegar is another category.

Type of vinegar. We could have eaten this before we got in here. No, we couldn't have. Why? Okay, we don't have to eat it. No, we kind of do now. It's delicious. We can portray that it's good without eating it.

No, we just have to go on eat shifts. I'll eat it. Owen, you'll go first. Owen's going first. Owen volunteered his tribute to eat first. He'll say nothing. I guess eat into the mic, yeah. It tastes good?

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, maybe they can quote that on their website. It tastes good. I like the sticker, say no to drugs. Oh. Oh, no, it says say no to meats on drugs. So let's hammer out this. Common misconception. Yeah. Okay, no, it says say no to meats on drugs. So let's hammer out this.

Common misconception. Yeah. Okay, yeah, let's hammer it out. Let's hammer this out. Let's iron this out. I like little steroids with my meat. That's a Purdue chicken man right there. You like those big breasts, huh?

Yeah, well. Talking meat? You just let the air out of a tire? You let the air out of yourself? You see, the problem is everyone just assumes everyone likes mayo or vinegar and all that crap. I mean, mayonnaise is food repellent. That's track 15 on the CD. That will be coming to fruition.

And vinegar is absolutely repulsive. Yep. It's for the libs, right? But it's good for you if you do a shot of apple cider vinegar. What else do you hate? Juice. I hate ketchup. I didn't know what I was expecting. These are all condiments.

I hate blank. What about artisanal mustard? Cat's deli. What was that? Cat's deli. They have a good pastrami sandwich. That was a close one. I'd like to do a raw dog here once.

Yeah. Oh, nice. A nice kosher dog. I'd like to raw dog it. Because I hear they have a good hot dog. I'm sure they do. Great pastrami, though. Oh, yeah.

What about mustard, though? Do you like mustard on a pastrami? Nope. I want my pastrami plain. Sassy chips starting now. You want it all plain. I just want a bite. You see, when you eat it plain, you eat it al natural. Al natural.

That's like the six-round draft pick for the Diamondbacks. Al natural. By the way, has anyone noticed that we have to pick central graphics up? Now that's embarrassing. Oh my gosh. Big Cat, your eating shift starts now. Frank, we need a slight filibuster from you.

Have you ever noticed that you take it from there it's really like whatever you've noticed would be the prompt. I'll tell you something I really do hate. Okay, okay. I'm listening. Double Parkers. Double Parkers.

Warby Parkers. I mean, really, I wish that cars came equipped with rocket launchers that you could fire at Double Parkers. Yes, like the James Bond set up a special car, an Aston Martin that just blows double parkers off the road. Why do you hate them so much, and where have you been seeing them? Because I feel like it's not a very New York thing. It's a definite New Jersey thing. Yep, yep, yep. I knew it.

KB with your Jersey ass. You were in agreement right there, young Jerz. You ever double parked before, any of you guys? Never. Never ever, never will. I've never backed into a spot. Young Jers. You ever double parked before? Never. Never ever. Never will. I've never backed into a spot. Nor have I.

Don't need to. Steve, what is that reaction? Steve loves backing into spots. Not surprising at all. I hate when people go out of their way to back into a spot. Me too. You know what I mean? That's annoying me too. KB, we got napkins?

No. What? Cutlets didn't send those. Owen is jumping the gun on his shift. Owen's going to go ahead and take a shift before Nick has even had a chance at his shift. I had cutlets for lunch. I bought it. And ate it beforehand?

What type of revolutionary are you? Trust me. I know the pickle you guys got. This is fucking Jean Valjean over here. This is Sandy's amazing non-GMO manifesto cookie. A manifesto cookie?

That probably means bad things. Sounds communist. It sounds a little communist. KB, your shirt. That's a queen It is a drag queen That I saw and performed with

Against my will What does that mean? What did you do? The amazing Paige Turner Made me come up on stage To embarrass me She jerked you off Well

I played the tambourine So basically we all know what that's. That's euphemism. It needs GMO. Probably still delicious. Is your cousin working cutlets?

Explain how we got to this. What's going on here? I just tasted it and I said, this is the best sandwich I've had in a while. And I got the whole office to start buying it. No, I was buying it because Nick. Yeah, I was the one that found it. You know that the Italians don't say broccoli rob.

Frank, go ahead. Broccoli rob. Yes. Oh, those are Roberto. Broccoli Roberto. That's how the Spanish say it. I. Oh, those are Roberto. Broccoli Roberto. That's how the Spanish say it. I'm done with my eating shift. Owen's taking like three shifts.

That's why you haven't heard him talking for a second. Why do people back in? You have to turn around, basically, before or after. I think he was joking. Oh, okay. Thank you. I won't back in. Oh, never mind. you. I don't... I won't back in. Oh, never mind.

Stricken from the record. He was dead serious. It's a show-off move. I've never needed to. You know, teams that back in the playoffs usually get eliminated in the first round. Yeah, that's true. And that's why you won't back into a parking space?

Well, I hate backing up. In general? Yeah, I'd rather drive around the block if I have to, if I miss my... Well, you don't also like to go on the highway. Yeah, well. One time I drove into a parking lot at the Perryville Outlets down in Maryland. KB, you're familiar with them, obviously. Glenn Burney, yeah.

Yeah, the fourth biggest outlet in Maryland. And the parking lot was wide open. And I was being cheeky. I was being a little bit of a cheeky bastard. But in one of the farthest spots from the entire outlet mall, I parked my car on a diagonal. I parked on a diagonal when I got back across four spaces. That's sideways. Yeah, it was on a diagonal across four spaces. I didn't adhere to

the lines. I colored outside the lines, but I didn't take a parking spot away from anybody else. But why? Because I could. Because, you know, fuck the establishment. I was listening to Rage Against the Machine. I was fucking listening to Dr. Umar. I was like, fuck the establishment. I got back to my

car after about 40 or so minutes of outlet perusing. I was just window shopping for the most part and my tires were slashed. Well, that happens in Maryland. It does? Maryland. Crab cakes, the flag.

People would slash tires. They're famous for slashing tires. They're ruffians. Because I parked diagonally across a parking spot. Were you anywhere near Baltimore? No, I was nowhere does. They're ruffians. Because I parked diagonally across a parking spot? Were you anywhere near Baltimore? No, I was nowhere near. I was in Perryville. I was nowhere near.

Get Sass real quick. He's got full, full eating cheeks. Full cheeks. So you weren't near Baltimore. I was nowhere near Baltimore. I was in Perryville. I was on the way towards... It's on the way to Baltimore, but it's near like the Cal Ripken Memorial Stadium.

In Havre de Grace? I think it's probably close to Havre de Grace. And I wasn't having a great day that day because my tires got slashed. What? And that was – Zervid. Yeah, that was my story. You parked across four spots.

Yeah, but I didn't take a spot from anybody. You think you're saying that I, you're victim shaming me? Were you in a nice car? What was the car? It was a Toyota, like a 02 Toyota Camry. When you came back, were all the spots full? No. There was nobody, there was still nobody within.

I'd imagine slashing a tire's got to be pretty hard to do, right? Not at all. No. You take a knife. You just punch your knife into it. And then you go, psh. But a tire has got to be pretty hard to do, right? Not at all. No. You take a knife. You punch a knife into it. And then you go. But a tire is pretty tough. You don't have a sharp enough blade.

I don't. You're not strong enough to puncture rubber. Don't say that. You're not. Don't say that. Slash a tire then. I don't think you are strong enough. Let's go slash a tire right now.

Slash one tire. You just said you don't think I'm strong, period. You know that's not true. You could squat a tire. You could squat a tire. You could squat five tires. You could squat a tire onto a knife. But you couldn't put the knife through the tire. That's how Sass lifts the car and puts it on the knife.

He lays a single thumbtack down. And then with such great force, lifts it up and squats it. So what, you just give it a jab? When I think of slashing a tire, I think of dragging it across the tire. No, no, no. Just a sharp knife, jab, it will go. You've got to be really angry to do that. Or just see a dickhead who parked across for her.

True. I would slash your tires if you did that. I've never vandalized or have gotten vandalized. Neither. Actually, my car got keyed in high school. Has your house ever gotten egged? You have. Me? No. What about an open window?

What do you mean? Has an open window ever been egged? Throwing an egg in an open window, yeah. The innards of your house, egged. Anyone done that? Some people. I forgot about that one. How could you?

Let's run that back that was the worst episode of the act ever what happened how much time you got we do have business today though we have tank Thursday tank what are you going to show us what are we going to do today

well we had the Frank the Tank Challenge and we've we're going to pare it down to three or four, depending on how everyone in this room votes. These are the judges to pare down. So how does the voting work? Does everyone have an equal vote? I think it would be better if we had, like, you know, someone has two votes, someone has three.

Like, who's got Brandon's vote? Owen has Brandon's vote. Well, what we could do is. Oh, fuck. Each of you give it top three. Okay. Ranked choice? Ranked choice. And? And

the top three or four, depending on how the rankings go, will go up to a vote for the fans. Is first place worth three, second place worth two, third place is worth one, or is first place worth five, second place is worth one, or is first place worth five, second place is worth three?

Three, two, one. Ten, five, two. Ooh, ten, five, two. Because then first place really means something. Yeah, but then it will change the whole vote and we overweigh it. Can I talk you off of three, two, one?

Do that. How about four,2-1? Just so there's a little extra sparkle. 6-4-2. Maybe I could go 4-2-1. Maybe. Fuck you. He didn't say yes, though.

What about 3-1-2? 4-3-2 keeps it a little bit closer. 4-3-2. Pi 2-1. Okay. 4-3-2 or 3-2-1. 4, 3, 2. Pi 2, 1. Ooh. Okay. 4, 3, 2 or 3, 2, 1? 4, 2, 1. Oh.

But I like that. 4, 2, 1 it is. 4, 2, 1. Alright, I'm in. Okay, so what are we doing? So we're going to review the final five. Do you have something that you're going to write down? I don't have a pen. KB can take notes.

KB can keep the minutes. I don't know what we're getting into. I don't have a clue. I'm excited. So we're going to view each. I think we should watch them all and then we'll go through them again. And vote. So watch them all. No one say anything. We'll go through them one by one

and we'll give our numbers then. That sounds very good. And these are in no particular order. So just No one say anything. Yes, it sounds good. And we'll go through them one by one, and we'll give our numbers then. That sounds very good. And these are in no particular order, so just say one to five. And what are we about to watch? Just to – Well, I did this. I did something on the green screen, and everyone had to edit a video out of it. Oh.

This is the Frank the Tank challenge. And you got thousands of submissions. Yeah, I got lots. Are we about to laugh or cry? The winner gets to buy you tickets to a Mets game and go with you? That is correct. Wait, did you throw out the first pitch last night? Wait, what?

What is the award? I'm supposed to throw out the first pitch to the Jackals tonight. They just called me. I had to go call them in a few minutes, but yeah. Should we call them right now? Let's call them right now. All right. Well, let's see.

All right. Should I call them live? Use Bixby. Use Bixby to call. Bixby, you old son of a bitch. That's my favorite recurring yak character. I forgot about it. Who's Bixby?

He was one of our best. That's his phone, Siri. Yeah. He's got his own. Is this a minor league team? That's like how Batman has Alfred. Frank has Bixby. Bixby. Bixby.

Call the minor league team, I'm supposed to. Bixby, get me my Kevlar suit. All right? Put it up towards the mic. Don't get him in trouble. Do not laugh. Do you have open mic night? Hey, Frank.

Hey, dude. We're on the yak. What's going on? Not much. How are you? All right. Real quick, just wanted to... Someone said you sent me an email.

I didn't get anything here. Yeah, we're just trying to get the final approval to get the... So we can bring a camera guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. And what time are you going to be here? I'm going to probably leave Barstool about 3 o'clock

and try to get here about 5 Yes He is throwing the first pitch Right? Yes I am At the Jersey Jackals game Yogi Berra Stadium Alright Alright see you then I'm bringing Yep. So make sure you're stretched out. All right. All right. All right.

See you then. How many people are you bringing? I'm bringing... One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I'm bringing ten. Ten? Ten. All right.

We'll block the spot off for you guys. All right. All right. Bye. Love it. Let's go, Frank. We have to go. No, I'm not going.

I can't go. KB? It's good. Are you going? Are you nervous? No. Have you practiced? No. Wait, they're just blogging off 10 spaces for... You do realize it's a minor league

baseball stadium that Frank is throwing out the first pick. He could have said 200. And they would have been like, sure. Wait, call back and see if we can get 200 spots. No, let's not do that. I'll take section 1 through 7. They would have been like, okay, cool.

Now, should I go get a baseball so we can get a couple practice bros in? I think so. Maybe a softball that doesn't break anything? Let's do that after getting... Okay let's do it after the reveal. Maybe a softball that doesn't break anything. Let's do that after getting... Okay. Then we're going to practice your... We'll do it in the hallway live on the Yak. Yes.

All right. We need a wiffle ball of some sort or something. I'll get my guy on it. All right. Here we go. All right. That's one. We're going to watch them all.

Let's watch them all. Star Wars music? I enjoyed that one. Yeah, let's watch them all before we do any votes. We're going to watch them all. Star Wars music? I enjoyed that one. Yeah, let's watch them all before we do any votes. This is better than cons. Yeah. Oh, man. Another Star Wars theme?

Okay. What are you going to label that one? Star Wars. Okay. Easy enough. Cantina, though. to label that one? Star Wars. Okay. Easy enough. Cantina, though, because there might be other Star Wars. There might be other Star Wars. Specifically Cantina.

We'll see. I wish I had dressed up for this film, first of all. I know. Damn. All right. That was good. That was a good one. That was damn good.

Wait. I just... Hold on. I just realized something. What? We're voting for the one that gets left off. No, we're voting for the three or four that will get put up. But it's four.

Well, because Twitter only allows you to go four, so we're... So we need to fix this voting system. It should be 4-3-2. 4-3-2-1. No, we're just narrowing it down to the final three or final four. If there's a tie. to fix this voting system. It should be 4-3-2. 4-3-2-1. No, we're just narrowing it down to the final three or final four if there's a tie. So is it three or four?

Four. Well, the goal is to get it to three, but if there's a fourth one, we could go to a fourth. The goal is to get it to three. Okay, got it. All right, all right, all right. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

All right, what was that called? Which one, KB? That was JLD. Okay. Okay, got it. All right, all right, all right. Sorry, sorry, sorry. All right, what was that called? Which one, KB? That was JLD. Okay. Okay, yeah. Why? Julia Louise Dreyfuss? All right.

All right. Funny, but not too creative. What's that one called? We're going to go back through. Thanos. That one's called Thanos, yeah. Okay. And then there's the last one.

And then we're going to go back through and vote. Oh, another Star Wars. I thought there were like ten of them. All right. That was great. See, now we have a problem. Now we're going to go through and we're going to vote. So everyone will say their number.

What was the last Star Wars? Cantina. Okay. All right. So we'll go back through and everyone say the number. If you don't, obviously, if you don't vote a number on a specific video, we'll go to the next. KB, can you say what the four of them were again, though? Five, right?

Five were Mets, Cantina, Seinfeld, Thanos, Star Wars. And was there not a JLD? Seinfeld, JLD is Seinfeld. Sorry, I'm confused. I know that was confused. I could have just went Seinfeld. But JLD. Wait, say them again.

Mets. Mets. Cantina. JLD. Thanos. Star Wars. Okay. Are we all ready?

I think so. So who's compiling the records? You, KB? Yeah. I can keep scoring. Steve will? Yeah. I can keep scoring. Steve will. I'll vote first. Can we reiterate the scoring system, please?

Two for third place, three for second place, four for first place. Is that right? It's four, two, one. Four for first, two for second, one for third. Okay. In third place. No, no. Let's watch them again.

We watch the video. Then you say if you give points or not. Okay. In third place. No, no. Let's watch them again. We watch the video. Then you say if you give points or not. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Here we go.

But everyone has to know what their scoring is. It's a little confusing. I got my scores. I'm ready. I'm ready, too. I have my scores. You just mentally have to have what your scores are going to be. Yes.

Yes. So how many votes do we have to give out? Three. This gives my two. So it's my second place. So that'll be two points. I'm giving it one. I'm also giving it one. I'm giving it one.

It's my third, too. One. Sass? Nothing? Nothing. All right, so two, three, four, five, six points. Six points. Are you writing it down, KB?

Steve? Chase? I got it. Sorry, who is... Say the votes again. Two. One. One. One. I got it. Sorry. Who is... Say the votes again. Two. One. One.

One. It's six. All right. Next one. Sass did not like that video because it was sports. Okay. Sass. All right.

I'm going to give that one my third. So one point. So one point. Yep. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. point. So one point. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero.

Zero. So that's a one. Can I take back my one? No, no, no. Sass, nice. Five-minded bastard. Okay, that one's going to be... I'm a little... I'm still a little thrown off from the voting process, but we'll move fast.

What part don't you understand? This draft is going to be a fucking nightmare. I'm so miserable. Sass was already complaining. No, I already complained. You already drank the whole thing? That's not all what I said. We were talking.

You guys were talking about it. I said, so how many sips do we have to take? And everyone's like, oh my God. Because you said you wouldn't drink a cup. I didn't say that. I just said, how many sips do we have to take? So you will drink a cup. If that's what we have to do.

Well, that's what you have to do. No, I'm not doing other. If that's what we have to do. Well, that's what you have to do. No, I'm not doing other rules that you guys don't have to do. No, that's how it works. Fresh meat. You're the new guy. Mm-hmm. Some new guy. Right, Frank? Let's get that. Alright. Alright, here we go. Continue. Alright. I'm gonna give that one my second place.

How many points? I don't know. How many points is that? Two points. Two points. I'm gonna give that one two points. I'm going to give that one my second place. How many points? I don't know. How many points is that? Two points. Two points. I'm going to give that one two points. I'm going to give that zero points. Wow. Whoa.

What the fuck? What about that? Seinfeld's a pedophile. I'm also giving it four points. I'm giving it my two. Don't say that if people are going to get mad at you. Yeah. What are you giving it, Kyle?

Two. So that's two, four, ten, twelve, fourteen points. Pretty good showing. Not bad. Not bad. I'm surprised you guys didn't vote for the Jeffrey Epstein video. Okay. So that definitely looks like it will be a finalist.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Sass definitely looks like it will be a finalist. Oh, yeah. Okay. Sass? Zero. Two. Zero. Two. Zero.

Zero. So that gets four. Big Cat, I feel like you're just throwing out a lot of votes here. No, I try to vote every time. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Ron's used two second place votes.

Yeah, that's my second time doing the two. Ron, you used two second place votes. No, I have. All time doing the two. Ron, you used two second place votes. No, I have. All right, so then that's one for me then. Okay. That's zero for me. Wait, so it's one total? One total.

One total. Okay. All right. I'm going to give that one four. Okay. That's my first place. Four. Two.

Two. Four. Four. Wow. That's my first place. Four. Two. Two. Four. Four. Wow. That's the winner. So we have our three finalists. But is there a tie? No.

There is. What's the official scoring? There's a tie for fourth. Sorry, can you go through that vote again? All right, I did four. Four. Two. Two.

Four. Four. So what's the vote? Is there a three? Three. All right, I did four. Four. Two. Two. Four. Four. So what's the vote? Is there a three? It's 20. Three finalists, but the other two are tied. Oh, gee. That's not what I wanted to happen.

I tried to throw a flag and say, hey, Frank, we should rethink how we're voting on this. Well, you know what? I'm just going to Since it's Those two will be eliminated then Since they both only got one point So it's only three Yes

Alright Okay That'll make it simple I just wanted on the record that I did I did throw up that protest beforehand Well I mainly wanted to get it to three anyway Right okay There we go

Alright so then we're good Can we watch the best one again Yeah and I'll watch that on repeat forever. So the finalists will be Seinfeld. JLD. Back to the Future. Max. Star Wars.

That's great. I'd watch an entire Star Wars movie with just Frank. If somebody submits an entire Star Wars movie with Frank green-screened in, I'll watch it. You know what I want to do? And I don't know how we can set this up. I want to start watching movies and just riffing them. You're talking about like Mystery Science Theater? Yes.

Call it Frank Science Theater 2000. Oh, okay. I like that. I was thinking I wanted to do this. I want to do like a hamburger, and we'll call it a Big Cat Big Mac. Yes, yes. Yeah? Yeah, okay.

That's dope. I'll also do that. You guys got ideas? I did. It was Tin Roof Tuesdays, and we read Cat on a Hot Tin Roof it's Tennessee Williams Tennessee Williams of course Streetcar Named Desire

I like that I like though Frank the idea of just putting Frank in front of ideas that exist and being like that's what it is now yeah I mean

I mean Frank Star Wars I could really I could really tear apart some good movies yeah you apart some good movies. Yeah, you could. Some good movies. You'd get all up in that ass.

Like what? Well, especially bad movies, I should say. Oh, there you go. Okay. You know how Bobby McFerrin does the... He does the entire Wizard of Oz as a one-man show? I could see you doing that with Star Wars. That sounds insufferable.

I don't know what it is. What movie would you want to do first? Is there a whistle solo in it? Can we play a... So you do know what it is. Nick knows. Nick listened to NPR growing up.

I know what the fuck it is. Like Independence Day 2. That's a movie? You never heard of it? Uh-oh. You've never seen a movie. movie? You never heard of it? Oh. Oh, fuck. You've never seen a movie. We're back.

Big Cat. Trust me. It's better off not knowing that movie exists. That's exactly what I was going for, Frank. I mean, it is awful. Truly, truly awful.

Is Will Smith in it? Will Smith is not in it. That's probably why it's not good. Supposedly he did. I think he wanted to do After Earth or something like that. Why does my headphones never work? Frank, what if there was a Broadway show called Frank Does Hamilton or something like that? Frank's Cats. Yes, yes, yes. a Broadway show called Frank Does Hamilton or something like that. And it's just like you just

Frank's Cats. Yes. Yes. Yes. Frank. There's a movie you could definitely do a riff track to

is how fucking creepy Cats was. Yeah. Did you watch it? It was bad. You watched it? Did you watch it? I don't think you did.

I've seen a couple of them. Frank. Popular opinion Frank. You saw clips. Yeah, you saw people roasting it online. You got to make up your own mind. I saw enough of it. No, you didn't. I have HBO, so I saw enough of it.

How much of it? You saw a two minute and 20 second clip on Twitter. Maybe about 40 minutes of it. You didn't even get to hear memories. What? You saw a picture of James Corden looking fat in his catsuit. Jason Derulo's big dick. Jason Derulo's big dick.

It was just... You don't like the fucking songs from that, bro? It's got a fucking... Is that Lloyd Webber's Lloyd Webber impression? But it was better when it was people on Broadway in actual cat suits than the just...

Other actors in cat suits. ...than the off-putting CGI that came off poorly. I thought it was actual actors, though. It was CGI? It was. Actors.

They made him actually look like cats, the actors. That's the last thing you want in a movie? Like it's a bad thing. I mean, it wasn't like a cartoon. A cartoon would have probably come off better.

Yeah. It was... No, I got one. It was like all these actors, like Jason Derulo and Judy Dane, turned into... Big Dick Derulo. Big Dick Derulo. Big Dick Derulo. Chased on Derulo.

And it was weird. It's what you say. What you say? I would like to... You're pissing me off. I would like to actually... Can you give me his number? Isn't Caleb present?

Here's another thing I would like to do. Chased on Derulo. I would like to... What's your name? I would actually like to send a Terminator back in time. Yeah? And kill the Terminator? And kill the director before making the last Terminator movie. So if you had

the ability to kill somebody from the past, it would be a director? I mean, the last Terminator movie, Dark Fate. Did he make the other ones? Well, Dark Fate was so bad. But did he make the other Terminators? I think James Cameron did have something to do with Dark Fate, and it was really bad. Okay, because then you're losing, like, Titanic.

You're losing... Yeah, but we're not sending him back to 1997. True. We're sending him back to 2011. What if James Cameron comes out with a banger tomorrow, though? Probably not. I mean, the... Yeah.

I mean, let's face it. Avatar might be the most overrated movie of all time. I agree with you there. If three more scheduled... I haven't watched it, no, I would not watch it.

Yeah, me too. You'd like it, KB. KB would like it. Oh, yeah, I probably would. What about me? Would I like it? Oh, no. Here's another movie.

Oh, here we go. Nice. Well, why are we getting bats? I'm just taking the ball. Well, you've got to have someone stand in the box. You've got to be prepared. So, go in the hallway. KB would be the catcher?

Yeah. And we're going to practice your first pitch. Run a little bat. Steve's gesture right now. I'm 0 for 1,000. Let me see that ball. Oh, this is a real baseball. I wish I knew what happened to my real baseball.

We're hitting real baseballs in the office. Can I see it? You know, someone took my baseball off my desk and my earbuds. I'm not going to flinch much. And they have not yet returned. I don't know where my earbuds are. I don't know where my... Oh, this is a Viva ball.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You're going to get that right to the moon. Can anyone know where, tell me where my baseball and my earbuds are? Your baseball, your earbuds? Yes. I don't know. They found a pair of Bose earbuds in the bathroom. They were Bose. You left your earbuds in the bathroom. They were Bose.

You left your earbuds in the bathroom? That's disgusting. No, I never take my earbuds in the bathroom. Okay, good. Alright, Fred, you ready? They were in the case. Alright, where are we throwing this at? Out in the hallway. We're going to have people judge. Yeah, in the hallway.

You want to throw me that bat? You just got to touch everything? Yeah. And everybody has to grab it for him. Wow. Go Frank!

Yeah, it's bad. No grip on it either. Here we go, Frank. Now pitching number two. I kind of wish we were going. Yeah.

This is cool because it says gas and beers and Chuck and Knucks. Wait, don't do it towards the glass, you idiots. Do it the other way. I mean, how stupid is that? How stupid? Their backstop was going to be glass. Now it's Enrique.

Frank probably has. Yeah, Enrique will be fine He's used to catching balls Somebody's got to fill in for Brandon Alright here he comes The drone's definitely going to have to try and hit it He's going from the stretch Can we zoom out?

Can we zoom out to see the Oh that's it? That was the throw? Zoom out. It's going to be a 50-cent one-hop. What is he doing? Why is he throwing like that? I think he's probably afraid to throw the balls. Frank, throw it harder.

Mustard. Oh, shit. He's going real sidearm. Yeah, he is. He's got almost a submarine. Time. Can we zoom this one out or no? No, we're at the best.

If they want, Roan can move up a little bit and I can get the full shot. Otherwise, I can just get Frank. All right, here he goes. This is going to be a good podcast. I know, I was really just saying that. Oh, fuck. I forgot about that. Fuck.

We really just got to do the best of. We got to get back on the best of. That was a good one. Because there's a lot of visual with this show now, right? Yeah. So we got to do that. For some reason, the shaky camera is so funny to me. It's really funny.

That's good. That's good. Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, look this. Trouble with the curve. Frank. Frank's going to get tired. Yeah.

He's going back to the mountain like a real pitcher. He's like rubbing the ball and stuff. Okay. That one was better. Why don't we get a fake ball so he can actually throw it? He's throwing it. Oh, no. Did they just jam his finger?

Yeah, he definitely jammed his finger. Oh, my God. We have some. We have some. In the Part of My Take studio. Some what? Spider-Tac. Spider-Tac?

Is that a sports thing? Yeah, yeah. It's in the Part of My Take studio. You know what? Oh, you don't know what Spider-Tac. Is that a sports thing? Yeah, yeah. That's the part where it takes two. You know what? Oh, you don't know what Spider-Tac is. Oh, okay. Now we got it going. Frank.

He's going to put so much Spider-Tac on it. Oh. Oh. Cover it, Frank. It's so crazy how when Frank bends down, his spine just stays completely straight. He's a yogi. Wait, hold on. We got the spider attack.

We just got the spider attack. We just got the spider attack. We got the spider attack. He's going to mess Frank up. Spider attack. He's got a song for spider attack. He just goes right into the song. That'll be track number eight.

You need Spider-Tac to open it up. That's the problem with Spider-Tac. You need grip strength. It's really sticky. You have to open it by putting Spider-Tac on. There's only one person who can open it. It takes glasses off. Come on, Frank.

Come on, Fleming. KB, open that for him. We got the draft tomorrow. We're going to do a draft. No. He leaves a trail of destruction. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised in the slightest if Roan just took a full-on swing at that ball.

Just explodes. Just explodes like last door. Wait, break it with the bat. Oh, man. KB's got our strongest arms. No, Enrique. You okay? I got blood.

I lost it open with blood. Jesus Christ. Oh, Enrique! Enrique. Wow. Wait, Enrique. Enrique. Wow. Wait, wait, wait. Kyle. No, no, no, no, no.

My hands are sweaty. And I'm bleeding. My hands are sweaty. Enrique. Enrique. Way to go. All right. Grab some.

Oh, my God. Oh, he's going for a big blow. I can't catch my own. Why is he running out of bells? Oh, that's great for later. For later. He's saving it for later. Zaz, go catch.

Oh, that's incredible. You're going to bandage Kyle? If they check Frank for substances, they'll find it on his belt. How's it feel? Does it feel better? Oh. All right, Frank, come back in here with the spider tack. This is so good.

Frank's got it on his belt. Is it impossible to get that stuff off? I don't think so. I don't know. You just wash it off? KB not being able to open that was a tough one. And Enrique killed. Spider attack.

Frank, so you got some on your belt for later? Yes, I did. Oh, that's perfect. What if the ball doesn't throw now? Spike it right into the dirt. That was great. Good job, guys. Enrique kind of dominated you right there, brother.

Kind of? I'd say that was a full on. His hands are dry. Dry as a bone. Hey, beer guy, come here. My hands are sweaty. Beer guy. I'm going to eat my fucking lunch.

Oh. Whoa. That's a big cat. He's got to eat his lunch. That was a scumbag response. I'm sorry. How are you feeling? I listened to it.

I actually didn't think you came across that bad. Thank you. Your best move was crying. Yeah. I didn't cry. I didn't cry. I didn't feeling? I listened to it. I actually didn't think you came across that bad. Thank you. Your best move was crying. Yeah. I didn't cry. I didn't cry. I heard you listen to it. Didn't cry.

So what's the consensus? I don't know. I deleted Twitter off my phone last night. What? Yeah. All right. Well, then let's read a couple. Wait.

So did you see that the Bucs had Chris Tucker at the game? Yeah. I don't know him well enough to know who he is. You don't know Chris? No, I know his name. He was on Epstein's Fight Logs. Oh, goodness. But that's scumbag stuff that you like to do.

Well, it's just crazy that they thought he was a better option than you. Listen in to the Dave Portnoy Show, and yes, Dana Beers is a fucking scumbag. All right, that's not bad. I feel like it could be a lot worse than that. Dana Beers is a scumbag. Could be worse. Did you search scumbag? No, I that's not bad. I feel like it could be a lot worse than that. Dana Beers is a scumbag. Could be worse. Did you search scumbag? No, I searched Dana Beers.

Oh, this person said, I called Dana selfish. I think he's the opposite, being overly selfless and doesn't want to let anyone down. Can I stop? I'm done talking about it. Why weren't you at the wedding, rapist? Rapist? I remember seeing that one. It had like 20 likes.

Really? There was a few responses. Just 20 is mid. They said, finally, somebody said it. This is why I deleted Twitter off my phone. I don't want to read this shit. Oh, no. I feel like you should probably.

I hate you, Dana Beers. Reply to that. Yeah, clear your good name. You got to clear your name. Ooh, obvious reason why Dana Beers was a scumbag. He skipped the wedding because he's in love with Marina. Oh. I should have used that as my spin zone.

Yeah. You should have just been like, I'm in love with you, and it hurt too much to watch you get married. I'm not ruling it out. You could roll with the rapist one, too. I didn't want to be in her photos Once I got caught and convicted It would be a bad look on her

Trust me Marina You did not want me there I'm a bad guy You still going? No there's actually a lot of people Defending you I don't Not them two

I don't need them to defend me I did the wrong thing What if consensus says That you did the right thing? Comically big sandwich you got. So big. It's fucking massive. He's got French bread.

He's got a baguette. Mike. Mike. It's a fact. Frank, you got to talk into that mic. Say that Adam Silver joke again. You know whose fault this is? This is Adam Silver.

Why? For the season being so fucking long. I mean, what the fuck? That's a fact. Did they have to play know whose fault this is? This is Adam Silver. Why? For the season being so fucking long. I mean, what the fuck? That's a fact. Did they have to play 70 fucking games this year? They could have cut the league. Or was it 72 games? This could have been a 60-game season.

Now everyone's breaking down. The season sucks. The finals sucks. No one's going to Marina's wedding. And Team USA is not going to win a fucking medal at the Olympics. Because all the players are tired. Dana, what's this one? You said this person, J- Olympics. These older players are tired. Dana, what's this one?

J-Dog said, weddings are stupid. No one wanted to go to Marina's wedding, so what? You did the right thing, Dana. She's the scumbag. And you liked this? I didn't like anything. He's making that up. You gotta download Twitter to see.

That's like when you used to have on PMT when you would read fake tweets. I know you. Come on. The rapist one was real, though. That was real. She posted a picture. You didn't read it, so you just responded back, sup.

Habitually. Oh, here we go. This is actually getting some traction. Wild spin that some people have said. Dana is in love with Marina and didn't want to go to her wedding knowing he would never live his life with her. Just couldn't deal with it. This is what you should go with. That's good.

That's really good. Have a four loco and think about it. Can I please eat my sandwich? You want a loco with your sandwich? That sour pack is right there. I think they go well together. No, I'm good with the loco. Jesus Christ.

Tweet out the picture of him drinking the loco at 11 o'clock. 20 likes on a rapist allegation? That's viral. Yeah, no, that's viral within replies. Within the rape world. All right, boys. All right. What kind of subs you get?

Is there a beer in that? That's a beer. That's a beer sub. I got a salami, and you don't fucking care. Everything's a beer. Whatever's a beer sub. I got a slobby, and you don't fucking care. Everything's a beer. Whatever. See you guys. Yo, chug that sub real quick.

He's the best. He really is. Maybe a rapist, though. Unconfirmed. Can't discount it. I think this ball's stuck to Frank. Frank, is that stuck to your hand? Can you get it off if you wanted to?

No. No, seriously, can you get it off? He has to do the first pitch with a ball in his hand. Another ball in his hand. Already stuck to it. Is that caramel? What is that? Look at that strand.

That's a hell of a strand. How does it taste? I don't, not going to taste it. You're not going to do a tank's taste test? Just a little taste. No. Tiny little taste? It could be poison.

I don't think it's poison. A poison berry? Yeah. You said poison or poison? I think you said it could be poison. Probably poison. It's the stickiest berry. Have some of that poison. It's one of the boys.

But it is made in the USA. I've been poisoned. I've been poisoned. Yeah. As with all tacky products, I'm sorry about that poison. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. As with all tacky products, product may cause skin irritation, use gloves or tape, avoid excess skin contact.

Do not use if you're allergic to pine pollen, tree nuts. Do not ingest. You got to be a real pussy to be allergic to tree nuts. Keep out of reach of children and pets. Owen doesn't like tree nuts. Yeah, but I had them yesterday.

Clean up with baby oil or degreaser. Yeah, we don't have either of that. Degreaser? Well, we can probably find it because it looks so sticky. It is so sticky. I kind of want to get that sticky.

Someone actually just made a really good point. Imagine jerking off with that. It's called Dana Beers, not Dana Weddings. I never want to not. What was their point? Dana Beers not being what? He's called Dana Beers, not Dana Weddings. True.

That's facts. Oh, he was just called Dana Weddings. Glennie Ball is just kind of Glennie Weddings. That sounds like a rapper's name. A wedding is a ball. Famous Glennie Ball. Mo Vaughn was invited and so was Adam Sandler. That's not false.

I've seen the logs. Chuck showed me. He showed me the invites. It was like Jenny Finch and like... Lisa Fernandez. It was like the entire softball team. Mike Piazza. John Leguizamo.

Was that bat heavy? This thing is like Thor's hammer. Dude, are you weak? Well, how about having... I think you might be weak. This is not how heavy an average bat is. How about... What does it say? Does it say on it? Yeah.

That bat is definitely that bat is definitely weighted. That's a weighted bat. Yeah. Oh, no. Isn't that illegal? No. Oh, yeah. It says it's 200 pounds. Alright. So I guess that's not that bad Like for a guy like me

It's not illegal But no player would use it Just with a throw around 200 like this That's a bat that a player would use In the on deck circle Yeah no real baseball player would use that to ask You're not a real baseball player Guess not

Was it Cuomo who like did a Pretended to lift a fake 100% dumbbell Yeah And then Joe Rogan like defended He was like yeah that was real Cuomo pretended to lift a fake 100% dumbbell. Yeah. And then Joe Rogan defended it. He was like, yeah, that was real. I didn't make it. That's a really bad slide. That was not an electric slide.

That was not electric. Big Cat can't even lift it up. Boogie, woogie, woogie. You gotta know it. It's 400 pounds. It's electric. Why don't you throw that ball towards Big Cat and see if he can get a full swing hit.

Little pepper, hey, little pepper. Hey, little pepper, hey. Little pepper in there. Little pepper, hey. Little pepper. Throw it underhand. Throw it underhand. Yeah, yeah.

I might have to throw it left-handed despite attack. This is really sticky. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, this shit is fucking crazy. Oh, man. Oh, no.

That's a sticky. Oh, no. It's not coming off. Oh, that's funny. It actually doesn't really come off, dude. You're never going to get invited to throw out a first pitch. It's like boogers. Throw it again.

Literally feels like there's boogers on my hand. You are young. That's why the players use this mixture in Rossi. All right, throw it again. It makes me a splurge. It did make even roll. Alright, throw it again. It makes me splurge. It's so hairy and gross.

Look at it. Not the texture I was looking for. Here we go. A little warm up. Oh! It's glued to my hands. I can't throw it down. How did the major le liggers do it then?

They mix it with something. How do I get this off? Just wash my hands. He said it's a baby ointment or something. Baby ointment. Baby nail polish. It's not the regular baby oil. You actually need baby seal oil.

What? Baby seal. Yeah, you got to club it yourself. Baby seal oil. You know that that's how they kill baby seals, right, Sass? They club them. Drown them in oil. They send them to the club.

That's fucked up, bro. I didn't need to know that. They just send them to live. We never figured out the draft tomorrow, so we're going to do it tomorrow. Yeah, we're doing it tomorrow. But what do you all have to bring in? I just want to bring in the right thing. It's one liquid, one vegetable or fruit, two grab bags.

All has to be edible. Smoothie, draft. We'll have one smoothie. We'll also draft order of smoothies. Order of blend. Blend. Yeah, so you can be the first person to blend

so you don't have a residue it's like getting our dick sucked who wants to go first will it blend dick suck is gross so one

when you put it in that way one three vegetable two grab bag and we have to figure out a draft order so are you gonna do that Nick

are you gonna figure out how to do the draft yeah Nick are you gonna design t-shirts for us how we're gonna figure it out I'm going to I'm going to figure out the draft do the draft? Yeah, Nick, are you going to design T-shirts for us? How are we going to figure it out? I'm going to figure out the draft. Graphically design a draft for us?

Yes. Maybe. Maybe we play a board game like that. But you could make your own game, though, because I don't want to play some whatever Parker Brothers bullshit. That's sus to play another man's game. Yes, exactly. But if we had our own game.

All right, I'll make a board game. Something of our own. Write a creed. How about the Yak game? Yes, that's a good we had our own game. All right, I'll make a board game. Something of our own. Write a creed. How about the Yak game? Yes, that's a good name. I like that. And we're all characters. We all have our little pawns.

Do we have a blender? Or what's a meat pawn? I'm getting a blender. I'm going to get one. Damn, where are you going to buy one? Dwayne Reed? Get a good one. Get a very expensive one.

Please do not get the cheapest blender. Get the Ninja. Don't ship out on our blender. Are the grab bags random? Are we drafting a random item? No, no. You're drafting two random items. You know it.

No, but you know what they are. You know what they are. Yes. Wait, one random. One random? One in like a dark sack? What about a mystery, but you don't draft? Do we draft?

You just take that with the last pick. Yeah. We could put it all in a bag. We could put one of your randoms in a bag, and you have to just go pick it out. You know what I like that you used to do is when having extra items, and you can swap out one of your items for a random, an extra random. There needs to be a name for random. And then Sass doesn't get swaps.

So maybe we draft one random and then one pile of the randoms is a swap out? I'm with that. Or there could be like three swap outs so not everybody gets a swap out. I don't know. I don't know. I'm spitballing right now. Okay, alright. Well, it'll be fun.

We can do the four and then I can get the bag of swap outs. Yeah, you could trade out something for another. Or maybe you can draft the random, but you can lift it and shake the bag. Yeah. All right, we'll figure it out all tomorrow. It's a two-hour show? Two hours. However long it takes.

Probably three. However long it takes for Sass to drink an entire cup of smoothie. I'll be fine as long as there's no fucking raw chicken in it okay it's perfect we said yes to raw sausage yes to raw sausage and beef beef of course because sausage is pre-cooked sausage can't be raw anything that's been under the sunlight of god is a little bit cooked okay i mean i i don't care about the taste or anything. I just don't want to be like throwing up from being sick. I think you care only about the taste. No, I just don't want to get fucking salmonella.

Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella.

Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella.

Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmonella. Salmone to get salmonella Salmonella, salmonella, salmonella See you everyone tomorrow.

Thanks to Cutlets for sponsoring the show. Thanks, Nick, for lunch. Appreciate it. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk shop and do a Yankee pop. It's the act. Thank you.