The Yak - The Baldstool Boys Have Arrived in Turkey | The Yak 12-2-24

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

Kate had one heck of a high school reunionYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Roback.com promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code yak 20% off your first purchase qzips polos hoodies joggers shorts rowback.com promo code yak Hey everyone. Hey, what's up? It just ain't the same without you boys and girl oh

Man good to be back feels good to be back. Hey, how come Kate's not here I? Look over there, and all I see is a hot Vanderbilt sorority girl. Oh, Brandon it's me. It's just this yak shirt that's confusing you. It's Kate. It's 20% off today. Did she give you that line? She made me say it.

It's 20% off today. On the Barstow store? Why'd you go Vanderbilt? Yeah, why did you go Vanderbilt? Those are the hottest. All the SEC want Vanderbilt. All the SEC schools depend. Yeah.

Let's go Georgia or Alabama. Yeah. Try it again. Vander. All the SEC schools to pick. Yeah. Let's go Georgia or Alabama. Yeah. Try it again. Vanderbilt. You're more Peterbilt. You look like like a truck. Yeah. The biggest truck in the world.

You look like a big ass truck. The biggest model of. Oh, fuck. God damn it. Hey, how come Kate's not here? All I see over there is a hot Alabama sorority girl. That's better. No, Brandon, Kate's not here all I see over. There's a hot Alabama sorority girl No, Brandon. It's me

It's just this shirt that's on sale 20% off in the store hot on girls and guys and guys and guys For guys to show that look at that you get the hats the the coins sold out instantly That's concerning. Mm-hmm Yeah, what how many coins are we sell TJ? The coins sold out instantly. That's concerning. Yeah. How many coins did we sell, TJ? Did you see how? 1,500? It was like in 45 minutes.

I added a clause to it, too. What did you add? Penis touch? You can kick Malasek in the balls. Oh, I like that. You have to be a woman, and you can kick Malasek in the balls. I like that. Actually, you don't.

I'm going to add, you don't can kick malice second the balls. I like that actually you don't I'm gonna add You don't need a coin for that. Okay, if you're a woman you can just kick malice second the balls Yeah, I actually it never said in the copy you have you have a point Anybody can kick malice second in the balls Women uh anybody women Men can give him a nipple twister. Yeah like a little Thanks these are my mommy jankos Nice that's cuz I hate this kid. I was gonna say let's get right into it. How did it go?

also, I Didn't know you had that type of street cred. Yeah, okay Nobody was making jokes in the group chat. Yeah, I chewed up. Which one are you? Can we play the video so Kate went to her high school reunion? He never told us this you didn't you they were literally playing not like us Well, we said before she went, everyone's going to recognize you as Kate from Barstool. And you were like, I don't think so. Yeah, no.

Nobody. Now that I see this, I understand why. Yeah, they probably don't make sense. Makes sense that no one recognized you as Kate from Barstool. What a tremendous twist. Yeah, what I'm telling you, not a soul there is aware of what I do for a living. Look at that.

I had a great time. Did you post the video? I danced my ass off. I went to the afties. You went to the afties? I went to the afties. I had a great time. Did the beef go? You know how I roll. No, he dropped me off. Actually, I have a video that like blew up today of a throwaway line and

Thousands of people are calling him a pussy ass cuck in the comments Have fun call me if you need me That's it. He dropped me off. He is a pussy ass cock. Yeah, he is a pussy ass cock. So I had a great time. I had a good time. So these guys fingered me. Only two of them, for the record. Be honest.

How many were like, Kate, what's up? I am not kidding you. Are you talking about? Like, Kate, I know you. Nobody. One person's husband was like, one girl said, oh, my husband says you're at like a sports company Okay, that was about it. You had you you

Gauge Song choice is so perfect to all the girls for the basketball team where the I sat the bench obviously But it was great it was like so fun to see everybody everyone's doing Sean Bronson there. How do you know I used to play BB with his cousin really? Yeah, what? Goddamnit wait really really yeah I'll be damned it was he was there I don't barely oh no I didn't see him there it looks very it looks I'm very happy you went and thank you I was yeah it was shocking the whole on the group chat just stayed silent right no we all were like yeah I'm gonna say who

who was gonna break that ice yeah nobody did we were all cowards Well, I'm really glad I like I'm still buzzing for I like ended up hanging out I I like made new friends with people that I probably would have been friends in high school that I didn't talk to all The time yeah, it was good. It was fun. I'm glad you went me too. What was the after-party situation? Just we all went to a bar. I just kept boozing and then I had to cut it off because I have two small children. Yeah. How was the airport? Fucking nightmare. We got dropped off yesterday.

Aunt Peg dropped us off car seats, all the shit into the airport through. And as soon as our stuff went into the baggage, like it disappeared, the lights went off in the airport. The power went off the airport and we proceeded to spend the next eight hours. Four different terminals, blah blah blah, children screaming. They shut all the bathrooms down because they can only work with power,

so you had to like, oh, it was a fucking nightmare. Oh my God. If you saw, if you happen to be at the airport and saw Pat losing his shit on somebody, that's neither here nor there It was great how was your guys's breaks I had a little bit of a high school reunion myself I went to watch My high school won the state championship. Yeah My high school won the state championship and my one note from the game is it is alarming

how won the state championship and my one note from the game is it is alarming how easy it was for me to call 16 year olds on the other team pussies you got I had like I had like yeah yeah they had there's a fair catcher in the game and I was like yeah fair catch it pussy and then I caught myself and I was like that guy's probably like yeah 15 yeah didn't you start a chant calling the opposing cheerleaders like sluts? Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, I thought long and hard about that one. But boy, it rolled right off the tongue.

I was like, yeah, you're going to fair catch that pussy. It's been a while since I've been to a high school game. Did they have it at Lucas Oil? Yeah, it was at Lucas Oil. Oh, that's sick. Yeah, went to St. Elmo before the game that was cool. I'm is It's nice little night. Yeah, love Indy The boys wore letter jackets. They didn't tell me oh

I forgot to bring mine. I didn't forget. I didn't I didn't get the memo. I mark with I don't maybe it wasn't memo Maybe those guys just wear them off. There's one over It's just it was cold out. It's cold out was cold out. It's a good something good jacket. Yeah, it's expensive Yeah You got fun Kyle. You went to Florida. It was amazing. Yeah, I love that sides the the Gulf. Oh you oh, oh Yeah, I forgot about that. What happened Gio Kyle asked the you like how to blend in oh my god Yeah, not help me no che gave me the worst advice ever I would have rather have done 18 rounds of mixed martial arts with a Dagestani hero

Can you can you screenshot that and put that up for us to see I only did you don't have to no no no no no Chase response response was horrendous. He's also No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, maybe One to four times a year, okay, but that's why you're not a golf. No I've got like I didn't reply because I'm not a big golf guy. Yeah Yeah, it was tough none of us should have answered. No, maybe Titus. No what one to four times a year doesn't count as golfing No, I would say you're a golfer. I think you got invited to a scramble Yeah, but I'm oftentimes the worst guy in a foursome. All right. I don't have to golf 18 for the first time ever with two golf guys today. Any tips on how to act carry? Stephen Chase said

Bring booze say you just like to get away with the boys and drink and care less about how you score Say you're just there to have fun and hopefully hit one to two good shots Great advice bring a ton of balls. You'll lose a bunch say I was a good advice say early You'll take a bunch of drops to not slow them down was good I'm doing that always remember pick up all your clubs in the putting green don't be the guy that left his sandwich the first one was What did I say what did I reply you said what you should have said? Do not say I just like to get away with the boys and drink yeah, that's

that's something that a Undercover gay guy would say then you deflect all the attention from how bad you are at golf how much worse do you are then? I'd be like I just like to one is who's good shots around if you show up to a golf course with real golfers You say I just anyone else here just like to get away with the boys and drink Oh, yeah, what oh heavens? Find real golfers these like scratch Was One under after nine oh geez oh, and he had he didn't have one bad shot

Yeah, I mean the multiple balls was good advice, but I hope you didn't say hey boys No, would we just get away with each other and say that did you embarrass yourself? They were really cool and patient about it, but you know I was just I was a regular bad Yeah, that's good, but I had to rush cuz like the other the guys behind us were on our ass It's not I never like actually finished. I just rushed through it. Yeah, but I already I broke dress code. Oh, no What did you wear? It was like one of those country clubs? When I think like the polo bears a member did you have a I was wearing court. They're like the corduroy shorts. We'll let that slide, but you got to tuck the strings in

I had like a spongebob polo It was like Bikini Bottom. Yeah, it's classy. I asked one of the dudes, like, what is that creature? What is that exotic creature? And he was like, that is a squirrel. You like to play hole one. That was tough.

But you golfed. Yeah. Like, the driving was the best part yeah putting so like the driving the ball or driving the ball I thought you meant the golf course the drive the golf cart is the best part yeah by far yeah the worst part is the golf yeah that's the like swinging the club is the I love golfing except for that part yeah well no the worst part is when you say I just like to get away with the yeah drink And then you have to suck everyone's dick. Yeah, mmm Like saying you know you're just sucking dick get away with the boys and drink

Did nothing all week except Parent to watch football and eat too much how many kids below there were six kids in my house below ten It's too many too many and It's just kids need structure so by day three They're just structure lists, and it's just chaotic and it's like the clock just, you just seem like what is going on? Especially when it was cold out, there's forts being built in my house,

forts being destroyed in my house. Cushion forts? No, I have these like blocks that are fun but then it's every fort that's ever been built goes the exact same way. You build the fort, it's awesome. Then one of the youngest kids breaks the morning and everyone fucking cries ah And then you just repeat that for five days straight

Yeah, yeah fun times. Is that better or worse than like engaging in hours of adult conversation? Oh, I don't do adult much better though I Will I'll my adult conversation is if you want to talk at the game with me We can talk at the game. Yeah, it's like a parallel play not with you Yeah, well, I haven't reached past the parallel play part Where it's like we'll both watch the game and comment about the game, but we won't do each other It's per football is perfect for perfect. It's like you'll you'll say the same lines like all the Lions are great Yeah should have gone for it should have gone

Horse with the bear yeah damn again Yeah, it's just that that was there's a football game on my TV for essentially five days straight And yeah, it's it's the central hub of conversation. It helps so much Brandon, how about you? Yeah, I didn't do a whole lot. You went ice fishing. I went ice fishing on Friday. Yesterday I was gonna go to the Blackhawks game,

but I never got out of bed. I had a migraine yesterday. Hell no. So I didn't get going. It finally broke about 2 a.m. last night, and I woke up and I came to work. So I didn't do much. I did ice fishing. But you keep't do much. I did ice fishing

You keep saying ice fishing. You're in the water. Well the ice melted. Yeah Still called ice fish. It's melted ice fish. I know I Usually by now the lake is is frozen over but I wanted to see if it was hiding or something Wait, what's the difference between that and standing four feet closer on land? Oh What's the point? I don't I didn't think about I don't see if y'all get I was ice fishing He's ice fish. It happens so miserable certain football game. Yeah Probably didn't even have service out. Yeah, I have service or nothing that was that was I was my house Did you did you remember to take your phone out of your pocket cuz Dave that that was bad? I don't know if you saw he got a new phone quick though

Steven bought that No, just even you didn't buy that yes He did buddy gas sent any sweeted the email so yeah, he thought the gas What did you do Dave is Dave is the worst actor of all time. Like when I didn't see the video, I saw the email. I was like, Oh, I guess he did fucking bring you guys. See the video. No, he's the worst actor of all time. Right before the Michigan Ohio state game. He does this every year. He's just like, I know what everyone's saying. We have no chance. We're down. We're a 500 team. Facts, facts, facts. What you

never do is you never underestimate the heart of a Michigan man and of a national champion so odd stack against us would be a miracle yes do I think we're gonna punch him in the mouth break a couple teeth break their nose make them think about who they are and whether they want to be in this fight yes I do and as I like to do all of every single big game take the shirt off take a quick dip in the pool, calm down, get ready to go. Because before every big game.

We've all seen this. Yeah. One hour till kickoff, I'm getting... Fuck. Oh, I didn't. My fucking phone. I Fucking phone Terrible start Almost broken I got no

Is the email I didn't see the video I saw the email from Gaz which looked legit Nick I tried to drive to Rochester, New York from here oh oh this Five feet of snow five snow. I got stranded at a place called Kay's place What for five hours in this blizzard right on the border of Ohio, Pennsylvania. And I was stranded there, and everything at Kay's place starts with Kay, so I feasted on some country classics. The ceilings there were five feet, which was interesting.

Oh my God. And then I turned around and came back. I missed my go did not go Didn't get to Rochester didn't get close to Rochester. It was people two semis hit each other right in front of me It was like seven feet of snow. It was unbelievable. You couldn't see anything Wait, what day was this the day Thanksgiving? It was uh, no the day after Thanksgiving when it was all going down Oh, okay. So you Friday morning you got in the car you got somewhere stranded and then turned around and came back Yes, holy shit. That's a big shout out Kay's place highly recommend. Where is it in Ohio or PA?

It's right on the border. It's a yucky territory yucky. Oh, yeah territory nothing else around It might be the yuckiest Shout out Kay's place. They have the lowest ceilings anybody could ever comprehend So I'm like I'm like army crawling around this place asking for more corned beef hash Did you did you ask for gluten-free? They did not. They called me a gay slur. They asked for gluten-free. What is that? That's Kay's place. What are we looking at? Everything's beige.

There's cream chip beef in there, isn't there? Yeah. Every other patron was wearing some looney-tune pajama pant. It was great. It was a good way... It was kind of nice. Oh, I love that. It was great. It was a good way. That was my thing. It was kind of nice. Yeah, K's Place. I shit there. Whoa.

Whoa. That's a big step. That's big for you. Yeah. And the whole place fell. Right on the floor. Right on the floor. They come and brush it.

No, yeah, shout out them. Everybody, if you're in the area, you should definitely go. K's Place. And Steven, I mean mean we know we talked about you on Tuesday the wicked fiasco So to clarify I did not know the movie was a musical I did know that there was some type of play or show I did not know that the play was a musical But I knew of its existence. I didn't know the details. I'm not a Broadway guy Play was a musical, but I knew of its existence. I didn't know the details. I'm not a Broadway guy

It also we I found out yesterday that Stephen lived. I was like Stephen you lived in New York City for a long time You didn't see the wicked like advertising everywhere, and he said actually I lived around the corner from it. Yep From the wicked you will live around the corner from wicked from wicked. I believe there was a giant advert I assume it was there. I think it's like 50 Second and Broadway 53rd and Broadway lives at 54th and 8th for a couple years. Yeah, fifth and ninth. Yeah, I lived every very close Not a Broadway guy How was your break though Stephen? That's nice Good to be back, but it's nice. Yeah

Well, what's that? That's wow. Yeah to be back, but it's nice. Yeah. Whoa, what's that? What's that smile? Yeah, that was a smirk. No, I'm fine. Oh, hell yeah. Your hair is just incredible here. Hair looks good there. I don't know, if the haters don't like that,

then they're not gonna like any of that. That's the best my hair's gonna look. Yeah. No, it's not the best your hair's gonna look. And also, I didn't get a new hairstyle. My hair is always cut like this. I'm wearing a hat today because it's not the best your hair is gonna look. And also I didn't get a new hairstyle, like my hair is always cut like this. I'm wearing a hat today because it's Black Friday, or Summer Monday, but yeah. I mean I always get the high fade. Maybe I'm gonna consider getting a more medium fade next time, not go up as high.

Nice. Nice. Dumbass. Dumbass! What is that? I've been doing that in the cave for for like four six weeks. It's my favorite It's mainly reserved for spider, but it always gets a big laugh from those guys so Flip it upside down make it a make it an Abraham Lincoln. I'm gonna go T

Flip it upside down make it a make it an Abraham Lincoln Give me goatee No worries, it's gone now And I see Moana too no I did Sucked really it wasn't I heard yeah, it wasn't that good. I saw it. I had to stay with the baby and Heard it sucked kids had a sucked My son was like I didn't understand it. I saw gladiator too. I thought it was the sickest shit ever Oh, it's cool. I should have seen that. They said I heard there was like major plot holes

But it was it was the songs were bad, too Well, I mean it was on the man well right, right? Yeah the songs. I don't remember Yeah, you know I wasn't bopping to any of the songs. Oh, no. Yeah, it's a lot of plot holes. That's disappointing Was the rocket the aesthetics cool? Obviously the colors are beautiful. Mm-hmm Huh now he was in it. Yes now he was in it. Yeah, the rock was in it. Yeah, all right. Thank God It's very watchful for a parent, but definitely not as good as the it was like spastic almost like it was like there was too much Just chaos going around you know they had no heart the Bat Lady. I have a lot of questions about that Yeah, who we never saw her oh, yeah

That's evil check Glad to hear was good and people are ragging on it. It was movie. It was fun ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I saw Moana 2. Wicked. Wicked. Dude, you're a loser. It's a lot of movies. Ate a lot of popcorn. Every time I go to the movies, I'm like, I should do this way more. I'd probably go to one a year. Moana was okay. It just wasn't anywhere close to as good as the first one. It wasn't like, I gotta leave the theater. This sucks.

It was just like... It was just passable. This was my first ever solo movie. Oh! First ever? Ever? It's a nice treat. I love it. It's amazing. It was great. I prefer it. Yeah, most of my movies these days are solo. Nobody you have to French. Nobody you're obligated to French. Don't have to worry about the hand jobs. Yeah, when do I French? When do I friend? That's all you think about yeah especially at a scary movie

Man I've never seen a movie solo. I guess that'll be a cool website You put out the times like like stamps when it's the best of French But as they had it for the peeing, do they yeah Carson Palmer's brother created that Yeah, the wind to pee the best movie I feel like there is no ten-minute when I guess it's not ten minutes Wow shit yeah, we're on French into that's Tack that on Yeah, before I want to give a quick shout to That's... Tack that on. Yeah. I want to give a quick shout to, yesterday the airport was a nightmare.

There were so many Yakkers. Somebody came up and showed me they were watching. They were like, oh my god, I'm watching the Yak right now as you walked by. It was you on his screen. And then it was so crowded. It was so crowded. There was nowhere to go and we had the kids. And it was a Yakker who stood up and he like sat on the floor

and was like, take my spots. And like he watched our bags while we chased the kids around. Shout out, Chris. Wow. I just had to give him a shout out because so many Yakkers and they were like really helpful during the chaos. I just want to say that really quick because it made the day so much better.

I'd also like to give a shout out because I had the most bizarre fan interaction I've ever had. Okay. Oh no. I was in, I went to the Blackhawks game, me and my daughter on Wednesday. We were walking in the concourse,

and I hear a guy who said, Brandon Walker. And I gave him a fist bump, I kept walking, he kept walking, and he turned around and started yelling my mother's full name. Whoa. her name is Vicki and he's saying kept saying Vicki Ray Vicki Ray Vicki Ray Vicki and I was like I've already fist bumped you I'm gonna keep walking to ignore it but I don't know if he thought he was being funny it was because he was yelling that's such a weird how does he know yeah I know mama's government I it's it's pretty I mean that's that's a that's don't do that that was it was it

was bizarre there's no there was no follow-up I was well yeah well there wasn't a follow-up if I turned around but were you spoke like? I don't know. How does it go? Is the further I got away the louder he yelled let's go dude And I just you know especially when I got my daughter over there I just put my head down a walk and let her, but it was weird. Yeah. That is very weird. That is very weird. Don't do that. Well shout out to Chris in Florida.

That's cool. Yes, super, super nice dude. Very lovely people. Can we watch the beef video again? Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Sorry beef.

Is it going, it's going viral? Is it big on TikTok? I posted it last night. It's got like 3.3 million Thousands of dudes of like Andrew tape type dudes being like I would never let my girl in there like that like say after saying that This guy's gotta be the biggest cuck in the world. It's great. You gotta do more of these videos. I know Have fun call me if you need me. Alright, some of these guys fingered me. That's incredible.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, it's good to be back. It's good to get structure back. Yeah. Thanksgiving special I think went well. Yeah, shout out to Kathy Mitchell. Big shout out to Kathy Mitchell. It shout out Kathy Mitchell. It feels like we finally nailed the rules to a draft. I don't know that we

did. I do like there are certain sect of Yak fans who are like how do they how do they keep fucking up the rules like that's kind of what we do. We're morons. Yeah and and the whole point is to never have rules going in and they just shape-shift But then when somebody breaks the rules you get mad The rules being broken that were just created two minutes ago rule number one is when somebody breaks the rules get mad Yeah, that's that's who is no Brand has almost got naked because of the rule. Yeah

I was I was gonna get naked. That was an election. Hey, I was gonna ask you to leave the room and I was going to do the rest of the show naked. I don't know when you could've come back. But I was prepared to do it. We were so close to that. Afterwards Brandon was offered to give me the $500 back

and I said I don't want it back because I would've made you get naked. So like a bet is a bet. I mean, a wheel lands on you seven times in a row. You almost have to get naked. You have to, that like a bed is a bet. I mean a wheel lands on you seven times in a row You almost have to get it. That's that's a fact and I'll just go ahead and nominate it Seven times in a row you get naked. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair Zod did you mind that Danny had your underwear in his mouth? I Started getting tweets and I went in and I looked at that. That was something.

I myself would not have done that. I mean, look at that thing. Look at that brown on that. That's like, honestly, man. That's like a cast iron skillet. Jesus Christ. That little string is a remaining piece from the dump cake.

Right down the middle. Oh. I'm so invested in the boys the turkey boy. Oh my god. This is the greatest trip ever They look better bald white socks. Well, it's better ball. Hold on better bite your tongue before we do this I have a couple things we have to talk about with the Turkey Boys. Brandon, we do Steven Singer? Yes. Yes, I will. The holidays are almost here, and Steven Singer Jewelers

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or visit Steven's showroom at the other corner of 8th and Walnut and Philly buy real diamonds from a real jeweler you can trust Steven Singer jewelers. That's I hate Steven singer.com. Um, so I think the first thing I was thinking was, uh, Ken Jack, I was confused why he was going on. I know what you're saying. And then he posted that picture. Oh my God. And that was, and that was idea. Yeah, I had no idea It's gas look at oh my god. I had no idea. Yeah, it's like it's like the hair of a fryer It should have been his trip Like I was confused cuz he always wears a hat. I was like he's got great hair. No Oh my god. He was thick presenting. Yeah, I've seen him've seen him without a hat though, and I'd not, oh.

Yeah, that looks good. If he cleans that beard up, he's gonna look really good. Yeah. Can I say something? A lot of these, the pen, it looks a little high up. You think so? Well, maybe that's not where. I, oh.

Right? Oh, is that where the hairline will be? That's where his problem started the problem. Is that where the hairline's gonna be, or is that? I think that's where the hairline's gonna be. This is the funniest thing ever. Because Dave, I would like to say, White Sox Dave, Is that where the hairline's gonna be or is that? Because day I Would like to say white socks Dave. I always thought he was hideously ugly and short. He's handsome and short

He's very look at that. He looks good ball. I know his eyes some great eyes. He has strong features He's a handsome guy. Yes, that is that the hairline though, right? That can't be the hairline. I believe It can't be that's where they're Lewis. That's where they're No, that's not gonna be that hairline. I yeah, I but I there's no way because like his existing hairline You can see the tan line They pushed him back They pushed him They pushed the line back

There's a picture though of, of White Sox Dave bald with the stuff on his head. He looks like he's a cannibal. Oh, I haven't seen it. He's been hiding brains in a freezer and is scary. I don't know if you can find that one. He's just staring. He looks like a school shooter that got arrested.

And they're like, all right, he's going straight to the psych ward I got the graph count from Rudy Rudy got forty five hundred and White Sox Dave only got four thousand really Wait, we only have the I don't know what I mean forty like hairs. There's Rudy. Yeah, he got is this after he's done. Yeah He's already swollen Is it oh Is it? Oh my god. Oh my god.

Ugh! That's not... You guys are assholes. It does look like before the hair transplant part like they were having the best fucking time on this trip. Yeah, this one. That's a sinister man who just spent a lot of time

Yeah, they had to take his hair away from He just got done with his he should he had to take his annex he was the only one because Eddie was stressing him out And he kept on trying to go into his room. Did you see Dave slam the door on yeah? He's going to tomorrow. I think Nikki smokes and Eddie or tomorrow, okay? So they went in shifts. They went in shifts They look like they had the best time ever They looks like they're like a dream vacation now. We can talk about it Nikki smokes and Nikki smokes a single again. Yeah Which is a better universe? Yeah, which is also funny because I do think it was like a couple days after

Annika went to dinner with white socks Dave and Connor. Yeah, oh There was three days after she probably was like wow there's there's other men like this. Yeah catches but yeah, they that scene of them at the bar just like Dancing it up. They look like they're having a blast. They look like they're having the best time ever. I can't wait to see the end result. I'm afraid, this is the first time Nicky Smokes has left the country, right?

He went to England, he said. Oh yeah, yeah, last summer. Oh yeah, yeah, for soccer. He had like a drunken sub tweet about the Turkish men being insecure. Meanwhile, he's there to get hair. Yeah. He also had a very Nicky Smokes tweet where I don't I think they're like a nine hours ahead

He was like 8 p.m.. College football rocks. Yeah, like that's every week if only State was kicking off at 8 p.m.. Yeah 8 p.m.. College football kind of rocks lmao Every single every we can get that You're one of those 12 o'clock game at 8 you know what I'm that no it doesn't rock because that means the 6 o'clock 6 p.m. The 8 p.m.. Game you can't watch that may suck What was his insecure tweet? I'm just yeah, I think they guys are sounding like a bunch of fucking libs right now Oh, I think they got into kerfuffle with us some of the Turkish boys. I like that I want an international incident bad some kind because they're there for like five days after yeah

I think they're back on just swollen and bleeding Streets of is it yeah, they just sit in a hotel room swollen and bleeding Why is it that everyone goes there is it better or cheaper both? Okay? Yeah, right. Streets of Istanbul. Yeah, they just sit in a hotel room swollen and bleeding. Why is it that everyone goes there? Is it better or cheaper? Both. Cheaper? Okay.

And better? Is it better? Apparently better. I guess they've done it so long. It's like been their thing so long that they've like, nailed it. What's the PFT review at this point? He went to Dave's place. But now, it's been a while though.

I think he's fine. I think he's good, yeah. He's good, I haven't talked in about that. No bigger insecure group of men than I think he's good. Yeah What happened holy shit What time is 3 4 p.m. In Turkey did you get beat up bro? You were in a turkey firm? What is it bro you were in Turkey for hair transplant? I love all these guys so It is the perfect blend. Yeah, I wonder how they're getting on with the stool. He's that came with him, too Yeah, I'll have to be rolling together. Yeah, I guess one is so bald that he's just gonna look bald again

He has a horseshoe and he's getting bangs Yeah, Donnie did his speech drunk and he was just like, you guys all came to Turkey bald losers. He's like, well, I don't know about the stoolies here. They might not be losers. Oh, that's awesome. What a trip. What a trip. I wish I were there. I know. It does look like a lot of fun.

Yeah, every update updates cracking me up All right, what else we got? No, I saw someone slurking around me Mincy's trying to mm-hmm. He's trying to get on the yak right now. He's not coming on the pass There is a storyline that was being talked about in the cave I don't know if did mincy apologize to anybody upstairs me okay, okay? Not apologize multiple people excited there that he had a giant booger. Oh Hanging out I saw a photo of it. It is shocking. It's the it's the size of a slammer pog

Harry has the footage oh, no And I'm doing are we doing Mincy on the act? I don't really want to, because here's where I'm at, and people are now, like, obviously people want him to get fired. I'm not going to fire him. Dave's the one who's going to decide to fire him.

I could suggest to fire him, and Dave would probably be like, sure. He wants us to make content out of this now, but this one was, like, a lot I just he wants us to make content out of this now. But this one was like a lot more just straight up disrespectful to his co-workers, which he did with to Kate two weeks ago. But like he was just disrespectful to Jack McCarthy and basically like I mean, he's selfish. He's a selfish person. So he lost his $25,000 free bet and he wants us to make content

right now out of his fuck up so so he can be like see it worked I don't really I'm not really into it right now. So yeah, we'll see what we'll see what happens Later, I don't know. Yeah, but yeah, he's just he's a dick That's really what it comes down to even ask to mention that he got the $25,000 bonus bet from winning stool Viver Yeah, he literally had a all he had to do is show up at noon on Sunday to have a $25,000 free bet and he couldn't do that Crazy and he I also found out two weeks ago pretty much the same thing happened where he had a thousand dollar free bet that he was supposed to be on stream for and

He just texted Jack McCarthy was like, oh Ole Miss Georgia got too crazy. I'm not coming back. So yeah, this is just what he does. He's selfish, he only cares about Mincy. So, and he wants us, he wants so badly to come on and have us be like, oh, here's a fun punishment, I'm not gonna do it. He's hot to start it. Yeah, he wants us to.

Yeah, it's exactly what he wants. He knows he has leverage to, we're a month and a half away from New Orleans? Or the Clmmer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's actually kind of saving his job. That is.

I do want to see him. That's what I'm saying. No, I know. We need him. We can't fire him. We have to keep him. I woke up this morning, and I was like, I don't want to fire him.

I don't want to tell him. Again, it would be Dave's call. But if I told Dave, hey, we should fire him, Dave would be like, OK. But I really want to see the Mincy Clemmer thing. Need it. By the way, that's coming up quickly. Yeah, we've got to stop doing that. We want to do it in okay, but I really want to see the mincy Clem earth need it by the way That's a three stairs. That's coming up quickly. Yeah, we got to do it January like we said Yeah, there was someone who someone had an idea that he should not have to go to he can't go to the Super Bowl

But he's got to be here, but then that's like kind of what he wants no no no that would kill him New Orleans You think so yeah, yeah, we're going to New Orleans with them next week. Yeah, we got to go next week Damn We're going to New Orleans with him next week. Yeah, we gotta go next week. Damn. All right, well, we'll see what happens. I gotta figure, I gotta think about it more. He's just so selfish. It's not like a funny fuck up, you know what I mean? Like his funny fuck ups are great.

These ones are just like, he literally was at a widespread panic. Cover band. Oh no. I'm a widespread panic cover band. Oh, no, I'm not laughing. Cover band. What are they called? The Velvet Dogs? Hell, yeah. The Velvet Dogs. A cover band.

I do want to see his booger. It was it. And I do want to see that. I want to see. But everything else now, I don't even. It was like the cover of a manhole. So and he was apologizing with it. Oh, it's in the apology video. I think it's been there for hours. What can you do?

Alright. Yeah. Can we see the video? Do we have it? I just texted Harry for it. Okay. Alright. We'll view that video.

I would like to see the booger. It's about the booger, not the man. I fucked up my pinky bad on that fucking goalball game. That sucked. Yeah, you can't explain how you did it That's a all-time worse in that sets as bad as an injury. Yeah, why is it goalball? I just jammed it on the ground and it's better. It's still Like oh, oh it was like it's twice the size It was it was like my whole hand was black and blue for like three days. And to be like, why can't you close your fist?

I'm like, well, we were playing this game. And my wife was like, well, what did you hit? I'm like, well, I was blindfolded and it's goal ball. It's a Paralympics game. Yeah. Where you just sit there. The one line, you don't move, you just sit there. Almost impossible to get injured.

The main rule is you can't throw the ball too hard Yeah That was that day that was like two hours after can I point out something we're doing wrong with goal ball? yeah, we use the balls to get rid of the sound and The entire point of goal ball is they react to the sound of the ball So the yes, but I think we would need wider goals because if you can react to the sound of the ball coming out. So yes, but I think we would need wider goals. Because if you can react to the sound with our goals, no one would ever score.

All right, you think we'd be that good at reacting to sound? Because we're not inherently blind. We haven't enhanced that since very well. That's true. That's a good point. What balls do they use? They use like a- Kick balls?

They use like kick... Kick balls? They use like kick balls with a bell inside of it. Oh, so it's sound based. So we need more noise. Yeah, but bigger goals. Wider goals. More noise and bigger goals. Because a wide goal would be interesting.

It was fun bringing back goal ball. I like that a lot. Yeah, look at those. Alright so how much is that? Five four thousand three hundred dollars. That's crazy. No you don't. I'm just gonna say. No that looks like so much fun. Yeah there's got to be a cheaper way. I was in talks with that group. Yeah what to that? That guy, we had to move dates because of, I forget what it was. Go mini golf?

Yeah, mini golf. We had the dates, we had to move them, and then the guy that I was talking to no longer works there anymore. So I can reengage those talks with another party if we like. It might involve us. If we want to use like official stuff,

I believe the measurements for our court don't, like it'd be a little bit tight for the full net, I believe. Like the width? Reengage. The width of the court? Yeah, because I said that we had like a high school size basketball gym, and they said that it could be tight,

like moving their stuff into here pretty much. But like the width of a normal net is wider than this the basketball No, I think like the logistics about like getting this stuff in here. We have a loading dog Meters there's no way that they can't we have a little doc okay? I I was on a couple calls with them, and it was it was a little just a little issue to get their stuff here 30 feet wide is it is the logistical issue like they just don't have a truck that they could throw the goals in? It might be. Sounds like I don't recall this was like a year ago. Which I can understand. Yeah. Like oh yeah

there's a lot of jams. We can go there it's somewhere in Indiana I don't recall exactly. I think that was they were training at the Paralympic school ball. Yes yes yes yes. Oh yeah. My high school is actually really good at goalball. You might have to just make a field trip. Okay Yes, I'll try and find the new person that runs that we can get them to meet us at the Hoosiers gym We measure the goal balls even though we have no idea what the actual one is see it's 30 feet guys Same as always isn't one of your big fears that we absolutely destroy that team No, I would love that you would love oh my god. I'll be incredible. We just fucked him up How could that that would rule

It would be awkward. I don't think we would though we would know killed right we would get destroyed would we I don't know You guys we were all out of the goal. We weren't even near our own goals. We could you broke your finger. Yeah I don't know though All it takes is one special day where we're just on our shit If we were on our shit, yeah, right if we're all talking about us being on our standard on his head Yeah goals, you know again you broke your finger on like the first you wait first play first play well What if we're on our shit, I often think about what I'm good at that I just haven't tried yet, yeah, I

do that to what if uh And like just telling yourself like what if? Like every time I play beer pong. I'm like what if I just don't miss I always miss I still fantasize about hitting last Cups yeah, I don't even know when I'll play beer pong again Yeah, it's the best feeling we got to start playing again. Yeah, we got a good ass game We got to get a league there was a bar in New York where you would go practice. We would play Play a lot water with water. It's it's a fun fucking game it is shit

We started got to when you're playing Part of the culture on water beer passing up a storm. Yeah would be awesome Who ain't people deep we don't play with beer in the cup anymore? That's kind of gross Yeah, they have changed that where the people just water yeah sip booze. That's kind of lame though I'm it yeah, that was fun. You need the tug in the beer. You need the gross cup the warm beer at the end Yeah, that's all part of it. Yeah, into hair. Yeah, the ball covered in hair. Oh yeah.

That's some good stuff. That's good shit. Yeah, it's a good ass game. It's a good ass game. I can't even remember the last time I played. I would love to get a game going. Dice and quarters or whatever. Yeah.

No, it's, Beer Bunk's a quarters or whatever yeah no it's beer bunks still the best yeah it's still it's still 1a I love a good flip cup to flip cups great flip cups a community based game it's a blast you don't say community based it's a chicken okay chicks are good yeah they're not gonna check in the guys all right you play flip-cups so the chicks can play sorority girl from Georgia Western I'm so good Oh my god, yeah DeVry University sorority girl right here By the way body armor

This show is brought to you by body armor Sports Drink. Body Armor helped the cast of Surviving Barcel get through a crazy week. Premiers tomorrow night. Real hydration, real ingredients packed with electrolytes, vitamins, and nothing artificial. Body Armor Sports Drink has great tasting flavors like strawberry banana and orange mango. Should we invite our guests on, Kate? Yeah, I would love to. So these guys, it was MooCoo who linked me up with them. But can I give you a backstory? Yeah, many, many, many years ago, I worked at Comedy Central and the production department and I was the bottom of the totem pole. But whenever pilot season came through, I still got to watch all the pilots and everything. So one year, this was like in 2014 2015. The show came through called Delco proper. And I'm from that area and everything. I was like, oh, Delco, whatever. And it was these in 2014, 2015. The show came through called Delco Proper, and I'm from that area and everything. I was like, oh, Delco, whatever.

And it was these two guys, Mike Rainey and Tim Butterly, and some other comedians, they come from the same, that's who's gonna be on Mike Rainey and Tim Butterly, but like they come from that same like Tommy Pope, and who's that other guy? He's in the Bud Light commercials these days. Oh, Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis, you've heard of it, yeah.

He tried to fight Stephen Che once. But he's days. Oh, Shane Gillis? Shane Gillis, you've heard of it, yeah. He tried to fight Stephen Chey once. But he's like from that, these guys are from that group, kind of. But this show, Delco Proper, came through, it was hilarious, and I started following them, so I've followed them for a decade now. And this is my first time meeting them, was today.

But just like people you see rooting on, and so they have a podcast called Dad Meet, and they just sold out a show here in Chicago last night. But anyway, they're awesome. Mike and Tim! You think they heard me? Bring them on. Are they sitting with the gambling cave? Yes, they're in the gambling cave. Or maybe they're not. I don't know where they are.

Max has been sitting weird all day, big cat. He always sits like that, dude. He was sitting cross-legged in a high-top chair. He always sits like that. That's how he sits. He's a weirdo. He sits like a child. He's a weird sitter.

Very weird sitter. Oh, there they are. There's one of them. Guys, come on in. You want to see his booger? Too lazy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Booger.

Booger. Thanks. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How do you not feel that? Oh Hours oh my god How do you not feel that? Maybe his nose is numb And I hate his little sad face he does god

His apology never apologize no narcissist Yeah What's up, guys? Timber here. Welcome. Welcome. Hello. Have a seat. Hi, guys. Mike, I actually bought your book and I had it delivered to my old place in Brooklyn. So I never read it.

Well, some homeless guy got a treat that day. OK, yes. That I just realized I did buy your book. Fuck. Thank you, bro. I want to read it. Well, no, because I didn't read it't read it was name of your book. I got to my my third one I got four total but oh shit I wrote on purse because I was whacked on opioids for about three years and I Ignored my family for close to three years just just to go on Facebook

and you know how like your own Facebook and it says like on this date you posted this and Once I got clean like they started popping up more and more and I'll say alright Well, that's embarrassing that's even worse than that one and that's even worse than that one Then I was just like fuck it. I'll just put them together and put like a present-day analysis of each one. That's awesome Yeah, and then I'm from Delco and I wrote a book called Delco dirtball, which is a fictional account to dirtballs scheming for a slip-and-fall settlement Wait, so what's the what's the craziest Facebook post you found? Well one this is incredibly embarrassing was a you remember Eddie Lacey from the Packers. Yeah, China China food. Yeah, dude

I was like man. I love the way Eddie Lacey runs and I have no recollection as to what I meant by that but Something I'd ever want getting at again. It's not a terrible thought to have, but when you realize that it's a guy sitting in his own house on pills, it's just absolutely. It's tough to deal with. What's the backstory about the perks?

Dude, I had a, all right, so a month prior, I had smoked crack for the first time in Atlantic City. Okay. And then at that point, like I- Knowingly? Yes, like I had smoked crack for the first time in Atlantic City. Okay. And then at that point like- Knowingly? Yes, like I had done crack before. Uh. Uh.

Uh. You get, you're not supposed to snort it, but I bought some. I flew out to Denver to see the Eagles play the Broncos. And the night before we were at a brewery, I was like, I want to try to find some blow. And I went outside, the guy's like, man, I don't have a saw, but I got hard.

I was like, ah, give it to me. So I bought it and I just smashed it up and me and my boy Steve were just smashing up this crack rock in our hotel Room and we started that and the next day was just devastation like the Eagles lost It was like fucking 49 to 21 the next day and I'm suffering from a crack hangover But then I fast forward a couple years ended up smoking crack in Atlantic City in May of 2012 and then at that point I was like, I'm done. This is it but that point I was like I'm done. This is it But then three weeks wait, I'm done. This is it. I'm done or I'm done. I found my drug I've been searching my whole life for this shit. I can finally rest.

There it is. But dude, a couple weeks later, I hurt my back at my job. And I got painkillers. And I was just off to the races, man. Jeez. Yeah, and I loved it. And it was cool for a little while. But then it just started gradually ruining my life.

And now I have all these Facebook posts to remind me of just how bad it was. Yeah, jeez. Wait, did you have kids when you were on Perks of just how bad it was. Yeah, jeez. Wait, did you have kids when you were on Perks? A wife and three kids. Oh, no. Yeah, it was sad, man. And eventually, like, I just ignored them

and got really into vinyl and Ken Burns' documents. Yeah, that's not the worst. Yeah, we had a minute. Well, there's part, I was hanging out with Mike every day in his addiction, and I didn't know it was, like, a problem. I was just, I was kind of, like, younger and naive, and I was just like, wow, this is the coolest guy I've ever met.

Nothing bothers him. This guy's never having a bad time. Well, I would pick Tim up, I had a Chrysler 300, which is like, I mean, just, it was heaven for somebody in my position. And I would pick Tim up and anytime I'd pick him up, I'd open the center console and offer him a Vicodin or a Perk.

Yeah, and I'd go, I, I go none for me, thanks. But there was no alarms going off for me. I was picking them up in Kensington, so. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't know about that place, but. Yeah, but so you're clean and sober now? Yeah, well, I fuck with mushrooms every now and again.

Okay. But aside from that, I don't touch anything. Nice, good for you. Yeah, feeling good, man. We gotta get you a Jerry, Jerry. That's what Kate was saying, yeah. That's when it's like, you know two people from India and I'm like, oh, do you know? I was like, oh you used to be a crack head Yeah, I'm glad Mike I'm glad you delivered right out of the gate as soon as we walked in everyone was very happy to meet

Us and they said we love Philly scumbags here You guys in the crack too. Yeah Have you guys talked to Max at all? No, I saw him sitting there and he was eating his lunch so I didn't want to bother him. He's kind of like a dog, he'd bite your hand if you tried to talk to him while he was eating his lunch. You don't want to do, he's possessive of his food. I did a quick little research

mission after we just met and you said, hey I know a butterly from Philadelphia, do you know Matt? And it didn't ring any bells. Which is it's there's not a lot of butterlies just roaming the street Yeah, so I feel like I know almost all of them even if we're not like super close, so I looked up on Facebook I found Matt butterly no mutual friends except for just two plumbers in Philly, okay odd Because like look I have a big family. We don't really really spend time together, but everyone does like the genealogy shit Yeah, we know about family we have in Chicago by the way

They got the last name Savage instead of butterly and I couldn't Early when Savage was on the other side of the coin is devastating. Oh, you would be doing porn right now. I God willing Tim Savage's Savage just fucking Tim savages everywhere you go Tim's how was almost a sad yeah you're on your other side savage as well my mother's maiden name I was I didn't appreciate it as a kid that's crazy you have savage oh yeah you're half-savage holy shit that's nuts yeah anyway we uncovered an

uncontacted butterly tribe okay so you got it she found another clan so I found out and that might I saw called my dad right before we came in and he said we've had two encounters with these people Well, I think it's almost like a like the Saxville Baggins is from So dad said in the late 80s he was at a neighborhood bar and a lady walked in She'd just come from work She was still wearing her nurses scrubs and she had her name tag on and her name was something like a Elizabeth Butterly or something And my dad's eyes light up and he goes well your last name is butterly and she goes fuck off pal Sorry dickhead I got catheters to rip out so then he goes my last name is also butterly and she went yeah right and walked away that was the

end of that that's perfect yeah so we have uncontacted butterly I'm flying drones over them they're throwing sticks at us we found life on Mars yeah there's another butterly tribe yeah and then I found out one of my uncles saw there was an obituary for one of their butterlies and just didn't even know Who he just showed up at a funeral? Thinking it was family. I guess I gotta go. Hey guys, my name's Jack So that's it. That's the only contact we've had with these people That's a perfect to encounter. I'm gonna try to mend the divide. Yeah No, I don't want I want you to keep it exactly how it is wait till another one of them dies

Be like show up. Yeah dressed like the most butterlies stay alive You guys keep dying we don't die fucking losers. Oh Alright, so you guys had a show last night. Where's your next show? Which I got I'm taking off until January and then I'm booked on the shiprocked new metal cruise. Oh Let's go. Yeah, big J's taking me on the new metal cruise So I can do comedy for a floating fucking island of diabetic gas station employees I might have to be a stowaway on that I got a corn tattoo, and I was like 21. Oh fuck. Yeah, like this PG Wait a new metal cruise. Yeah, like who's headline who's uh who's headlining?

I think it's like a Hollywood undead is headlining, but I'm mostly excited to see buck cherry. That's gonna be the fuck crazy The 12 minute version live version of crazy bitch that they do Fuck poem in the middle of it. Oh my I'm going to I told my wife I plan to come you don't realize how crazy the bitch is until you hear the extended Tell you what they did to scratch Until radio six-year-old guy in leather pants talks about having sex with a slut you really don't get this Nautical stars tattooed above his cock it's it's gonna be awesome to see if you got a slut mom at home You better lock her up right now before she finds a way on that.

Keep her off the ocean with me man. I'm excited to read your book. Thank you brother. On Perks, the Facebook, can I see it? Oh absolutely. Can I have it? Mike you gotta tell them about the audiobook. So Mike made an audiobook version of On Perks where he had all the boys come in and so yeah it's an audiobook but also everyone's just like making fun of Mike the entire time so it ends up being this like huge kind of like podcast thing that you could listen to it's what I think it's way better than the print yeah I don't want to be corny and just have my buddies like read

excerpts in my books I was like yeah I want everybody to make fun of me yeah so I had my buddies Tim my buddy Matt McCusker friggin who else did I have bunch of other retards? Our plumber friend Toby afraid to completely I think it goes you're nervous right now. I just opened to a random page It just says August 16 2013. I love Johnny Weir Dude, I got to meet him. That's summertime though. That's not ice skating time It's an ice skater. Like a figure skater? He's a figure skater. He's like the bad boy of ice skating. The depths of addiction is watching like men's ice skating in fucking July. And I got to meet him one time and I was so nervous to meet him because he sent back champagne for the lady who was headlining that night. And it was champagne with a with a strawberry dropped inside of it. And I was like, Oh my god he comes back or hope he comes back here and Johnny we're ended up coming back and I got to meet him And I might have even called him. Mr. Weir and then he was like he looks at me. He's like, thank you. Are you Italian?

I liked it Very nice like he's you know, like when somebody's wealthy you can tell he you can just tell they got money without them Yeah, oh, yeah, he smelled like money. I mean you guys have to he looks insane in person right he's yeah He's very other watch. He's a peacock until he's a literal peacock. Yeah, he's always kind of figure skating Yeah, did you product all your Disney? Troubles in there yeah that kind of kicks off the book like I'm a Disney adult Which I recognize put you on some kind of a watch. Oh, yeah actively are that's worse than the opioids You're into like the

What do you mean by into yeah, okay So like I couldn't tell you the last Disney movie that came out But I have had just so many good times at the Disney parks that you know I have to get there at least once a year and Fortunately or unfortunately like right before right when my opioid addiction kicked off We were headed to Disney like four days after I had back surgery So I had to go there and it was just a nightmare from the start because I rehearneated both my discs Right before I got on the plane taking a shit as they were announcing that we were boarding. So my first experience in Disney that year

I had to go to Celebration Hospital and I got ejected with that. That's the name of Disney's hospital? Yeah, there's a town called Celebration. All the doctors are wearing giant white cartoon clothes. Oh man. And they ejected me with dialogue in there and it was heaven and the male nurse just sat and talked Disney with me for like 20 minutes. Wait, so what Disney are you in?

Like what? By the way, this is, oh no, this is a double, Jennifer Lawrence looks beautiful with short hair, good for her. This is a very funny book. You're just, and this must have been crazy going through all of this. Dude, there was like a thousand of them and then I eventually condensed it to I think like maybe 200. Wait, how did you stop?

Was it an intervention or? No, just... You wish! That was my job. People don't love you, dude! That was my job and I dropped the ball on it entirely Did you ever think like hey, maybe I should do an interview not for a second Yeah, we thought he was cool. Yeah, we were chillin We would play tennis every Sunday and like Tim and I were like dirt either of us knows how to play tennis

That was the most pillhead idea you had when you showed up with tennis rack Yeah, I think the first time the first time we hung out was when I first started doing pills And I met you I had a cane at the time do you remember going to the movies? What do we go see moonrise kingdom? Oh my god? Yeah two adult men going to see oh my god You love Wes Anderson and like hanging out with me and so two adult dudes in cargo She was going to see moonrise Kingdom. One with a cane? Yeah, which is by the way like a semi graphic tween romance movie. And one of them is whacked on perks using a cane to get around.

Oh man, take me back. Wait, so how did you get off? Just cold turkey. You just decided one day like I gotta stop? Yeah, I was watching that, what was that, Behind the Candelabra, the Liberace movie. Yeah. And I was down in my last pill and I went upstairs to go take it and I dropped it on the bathroom floor.

And I was like, I gotta take this and then I have no money to get more and I have to take this. And then like, I think the reality of just how fucked up and sad that was of taking a pill that was behind the toilet. Yeah. Which just like, all right, that's it. That's what you need. That's it, yeah. Wow.

That must have been so close. I should level up. Dude, I had exhausted every resource. And eventually, it was just so hard to come by. Because I think everybody has the same experience. Like when you get heavy into opioids or heavy into Coke, it's like every time you call a dealer, it's an experience. Yeah.

It's never just they'll meet you where you say to meet them, give them the money, and then that that's that and it just became more and more tedious as time progressed and like at that point I yeah that was oh I took some boxing one other time did you take the toilet pill I did yeah did you kiss up the Godfurd that cold turkey must have sucked it was bad it was it feels like you got the flu for a while yeah and then then sucks. Yeah, I was pretty good for a while And then like I had a little bender like maybe like five months later and my boy didn't have perks He had Suboxone. I was like, what is this? He's like just take it man

And I took it and I felt good, but then I was just like I don't want to go down this route again Yeah, that was good for you. Yeah Yeah, family's happy. They were for a while. Then I had a nice coke run again. I really enjoy myself. They can. Oh, that's another book coming out. Yeah. Coke run. Dude, you know, it would be great if it was just all your business plans. There's no punctuation in it whatsoever. The whole book's one sentence. Yeah, one long, long run on sentence.

Another thing. Chapter 93. And another thing. I knew the bender was bad because at a certain point I was hanging with Tommy Pope and he's like, you know what? I'm just going to go home. And if Tommy's going home, it's like, all right, you know this is desperate. Yeah.

It's time. Yeah, when your friends are like, I'm done. How did you link up with all those guys? Because that was like ten years ago that I started following you two and the Like you all just same comedy scene and y'all came calling each other. Hey it open mics basically Yeah, it was pretty much it just open mics. Seriously, but Tommy and I we went to the same high school We went to Monsignor Bonner and we didn't know each other in high school. We were aware of each other I think but then we we met doing gigs and you know, we became good friends then,

and we met John McKeever through Tommy. And I think Tim started. Did you start at the same time as McKeever and Tommy? No, they were already cooking when I started, and I looked at those guys and I went, whoa, those are cool, I have to do it like them? That's crazy. Yeah.

And then they took me in and molded me into the man I am today. You guys did the Pat Burl video, right? Was that you guys? That was just Tommy and John. Oh, okay. Yeah, they were always rolling on some kind of shit. And wow, can you believe it?

Like, steamrolling on Netflix? That's crazy. Yeah. That's awesome. That whole group first came on my radar, like, before I was at Comedy Central. Pat Burl played for the Phillies, and he banged every woman in Philadelphia that was like he was known for it I Have a friend whose sister banged him Well anyway not to brag but then there was like they did a video about that and that's how the whole that was like forever ago

Is that story about him having anal sex with that lady true is that like an I'm sure it is I heard he had a tattoo of a bat going down his leg the same length of his I don't know if that's true In case he ever comes on the show. Pat the Bat. Yeah, Pat the Bat, that's what I already had that nickname. Anyway. Yeah, sure, it's true to me. Anyway, he's credited with saying the wildest thing

I've ever heard during sex. Apparently he's having anal sex with a woman, and he said, your pussy is so jealous right now. That's so good. Imagine. That's incredible. I don't think I've ever said anything that didn't end with a question mark during sex. How would you respond if it was your pussy? It was my pussy?

Is it also my butt? It could be, yeah. I would just be like, I don't know man, Just fucking leave her give her some time. You know This is none of her business actually You got ten fingers fill me up Put a finger in there now. He's got both his hands on his hips All right, so you guys want to do the gauntlet I would love to I'm very nervous about it. I think it's sports. I don't know anything, but I do I do need to beat Tommy Pope Yeah, which shouldn't be hard. I can get somewhere between Tommy Pope and the Rizler. I'll be fucking Rizler. We haven't gotten yet

That's the way I'm sorry big justice. Yeah big justice No Rizler. I mean, I'll be happy with that Yeah, Tommy was very upset. He was very what was on his time 40 Paul skeins Oh, man, I thought it was be worse than that. right that might be tough for me okay this is good I just remember he was just very sweaty and angry and he got very Italian when I finished it well let me promise you right now I will never get Italian there you go so you already beat him so what's it it's bags bags? Yep, then basketball. No, then soccer and soccer then Baseball then football then basketball then sporkle. What do you have to do for baseball? You have to just hit a

Whiffle ball above this studio line not very hard guy Oh my god, yeah, Brandon will run through it with you Yeah, man, remember being a kid and throwing the ball up and missing it ten times in a row Oh, yeah, that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. No and the best part about it is so you're out there. We're in here We're making fun of you the entire time. Mm-hmm. Well Let me just promise you right now my feelings will be hurt. Yeah, don't watch it back. I'm a delicate boy Tim I'm very like Tim is I've never seen anybody as naturally good at as many things as my buddy Don't say that the worst thing that I've ever seen or I actually felt bad for him

I took him to my gym one time and we were playing basketball and it was like I've never seen anybody react that poorly with a ball in their oh no and my fingers are cold right now This is gonna be good. Well, you can go second. You might Mike can go first Yeah, I'll watch how you do it and And then I'll commit it all to my memory and I'll replicate it visually. Watch this. Oh, man. I'm terrible at bagging. I'm locked in. You only got to get one.

Okay. You only got to get one. And then you're on to the next. And our goalie is a dickhead, by the way. Yeah. So that is a problem. That's what everyone's mentioned. Yeah. He's a real... I got to keep him moving. ... way too seriously.

Personal issues or... Yeah. Oh, tons of personal issues. He's a confused guy. Yeah. We did a dating show for him for two weeks too seriously personal issues or yeah oh tons of real eyes a fused guys yeah we did a dating show for him for two weeks and it ended up just he every girl just hated his guts like that's what I've been banned from bars now yeah lovely lovely ladies lovely ladies great ladies not their fault his fault bad guy you only have to make one football in right yep yeah well let's call that soccer ball football it's him was actually born in Brazil by the way the gauntlet is brought to you by ghost energize the

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Yeah, so you have ghosts right next to you. Take a little sip, get yourself ready. You mind if I take the Swedish fish? Let's split it. Swedish fish is really good. Really, really good. You have it, Mike, do you have any weird non-substance vices now?

Here you go, buddy. Gambling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's not weird though. Listen, yeah, that's everybody. And OnlyFans. Yeah. Yeah, basically, yeah, that's not weird though. Yeah, that's that's everybody and only fans. Yeah Yeah, basically if you're if you're 60 pounds overweight. I probably subscribed your own Has that always been a thing for you? Yeah, I just like bigger girls man

Like there's a there's even like a lady that Tim graduated from high school with Who's built like a centaur and I just started following her and like randomly I'll go on like her Instagram live And she's cooking pork chops at 4 a.m. So that's like solidifying like whatever I don't get from only fans How much how many people are you subscribed to I don't even know man? What was that? What's that running you was it at its worst? Maybe 20

20 subscriptions, I think I'm down to like 11, but a lot of ladies they'll do free subscriptions and you got to pay for the more disgusting stuff. Yeah. So I've kind of, it's kind of like drinking a like a white claw, like just subscribing to their free OnlyFans. Is that like a simple click of a button or do you have to really like get dirty to get that? No, it's like they'll just they'll inbox you and be like, hey. Oh you have to message them directly? Hey hot stuff. Which is hot and it's like that's what guys want. It is but it's like they'll just they'll inbox you and be like hey, you have to message a hot stuff

Which is hot and it's silly. That's what guys want it is, but it's often times their boyfriend. What's up my cool subscribers? Works on dudes just for you Money grabs it's still there you can still subscribe What is that what shows up on the bank account? statement does it say dude it that's part of the problem because when you have an OnlyFans that's expiring, they'll send you like an email. And it's like anytime, I have my phone mounted on my car and often times I go on a lot of long drives with my wife and it'll be mounted.

And anytime I see a notification come through, I'll click on it and it'll be like, hey like Fatso69, your subscription to her is ending. And it's like, Jesus Christ man. There's gotta be a more subtle way to do this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they have to like, have it be like a bank statement. Comes across as Phoenix International

when you're doing taxes with your tax lady Rita, who's 80 years old. You have to explain what that is. Here's one from 2013, Mike. Any other dorks collect Disney pins? Oh. Yeah, I went through Disney pins You buy lanyards and then part of the game that you play with like other Disney adults is you'll see each other in the park Be like hey, I want that part of the game

It's a dark world that's like yeah Are there any other guys like you or is it mostly just like you know dude I'll show you some of the chubby mom scribe to know it's a I think I'm on the normal side, but that's debatable All right every every other dude that I see there looks like he's like a character from who framed Roger Rabbit Are you familiar with the ultra fat crew of Disney goers is that the ladies who had the rashes? Yes? Yeah, I saw them. Yeah, ten ladies. I'm following right now following yeah And they're not fucking are they some brother, okay?

And actually drew Montana nine ladies and my buddy drew Montana who just started an only fans Yeah But I mean it's all good stuff like this lady your new stepmom She prosa posts some disgusting stuff. I always love when you come in with a new story about a lady posting an update about her boyfriend getting arrested and sorry, I haven't posted any content lately.

Well, dude, that's the benefit of OnlyFans, is you'll get updates like, hey, I haven't posted, my mom got run over last week, whereas you won't see that on Pornhub or anything. Yeah, right. You get to know. Yeah, no one's calling out on Pornhub. Does that ruin the mood at all? I like that kind of that. Yeah, right. To know. Yeah, no one's calling out on Pornhub. Does that ruin the mood at all?

I like that kind of stuff. Yeah. You know, with Tim and I, like on DadMeet, like we're open books. If you ask us, we'll tell you. And to me, that's equally as appealing in a lady to know that like, all right, she got her kids taken away last week.

You know, it's humanizing, yeah. Yeah, maybe give her like $10 in the hit box. Yeah, I mean, it works on me, man man. Sorry all my butt plugs got repossessed guys Working on a solution now are you guys only fans meant at all no no no yeah Glennie balls our co-worker has an incredible podcast called only stands where he wait Steven is Wait Steven is I'm enjoying this What kind of stuff are you into listen everything man? I don't

On only fans. I'm a small business only guy I kept it at I kept it at nine dollars 99. Yeah, he only supports artists and pussy Are you a small business by Louis? Oh, yeah, yeah, I I don't post anything like risky, but I when I first started it I think I was making like that first month when guys were just curious if I was posting anything I was making over 15,000 I'm not kidding. And then once, and then you could pay me and send me a picture of your dick and I would roast it for 50 bucks.

And that came pouring in, it was great. Oh my God. Yeah, it was great. Now I make like 200 a month, everybody remembers it. Everyone was like, nevermind, no nipples were out. So, sorry. But have you guys seen, Glennie has a podcast where he just interviews

Onlyfans girls. I wouldn't know that. Yeah, it's great. He just has them come to the office How does he pick them now because I don't know like following the dregs, but there's also like conventionally attractive women. Yeah Biggest yeah, he gets the biggest ones top-heavy. Yeah like money or I think both that oh no Mostly money and tits the biggest oh you get I keep thinking everyone's talking in code I thought when Zaz said small business only he was talking about little Wow, but oh my god, I'm looking at this and my hands are sweating profusely. You're gonna do great. You'll be fine. Which one of you wants to go first? I'll go first.

I think Mike's gonna put up a fucking scorcher. This is, watch, open your eyes guys. This is gonna be good. Oh, do we run through the, the sporkle? Oh yeah, sporkle. Mike, so sporkle at the end, it's just a grab bag, and you just have to get ten right of any. You can jump around to each category. Very general trivia.

Yeah, you can get like two of one, five of the other. You just got to get ten total. Yeah, very general trivia. All right, Ghost Energy Gauntlet. I feel good about you guys. Well, maybe not you, Tim. If you're last name was. You're giving me vibes that you're not going to do well. I need a about you guys. Well, maybe not you Tim If you're giving me you're giving me vibes that you're not gonna do well. I need a little more confidence All right, I'm gonna work it up. Give me some time. It's time to go savage mode

Butterly isn't not sick though. It kind of like it's like a cool adverb if I was a cool guy And I could kind of like drag it to the middle But also being like a like a lifelong autist and having a silly name It's not like a great combo. Yeah, I Feel like it would look good and cursive on a jacket, but the savage part really that's a killer losing savage knowing savage was right there Tim Savage is a totally different life. You Tim Savage. Is that a dude would change my personality? Yeah, a football player Tom Savage Tom Savage was a quarter quarterback Yeah, Pitt, and then he played for the Texans also Rutgers. Oh rockers. Yeah

Tim's yeah, well, maybe you would maybe maybe you're okay that guy's wasting Tim said oh Oh, no, he know that guy's oh is he jacked and oh no. Yeah, this guy's doing Right. He's not a bear is he? He is a textbook bear People still doing this I don't know yes I was gonna get one in my house, but I feel like I missed it are you not doing I'm still doing the showers every morning. I don't even know what it's doing for me We're watching a guy take a ice bath named Tim Savage. He's getting in the ice bath.

He's screaming like a woman, though. Yeah, this is humiliating. Yeah, this is not Tim Savage-like. Yeah, this is grass is greener situation, man. I'm happy with where I'm at. Yeah, you're good. You're good. You could have been this guy.

That would have been a... Fucking screaming with my nipples out online. Oh, Muay Thai. Thai elbow? Muay Thai? Muay Thai? What are you saying? Muay Thai elbow thrower. Oh I can challenge him I could dojo storm him. Frequent-ish golfer. Where's he located? We got a good following. We got to fight this guy. He does. I'm gonna highlander him for the Tim Savage name. All right ready Mike? All right here we go.

Is Mike athletic? much more than me really Rest I know it doesn't look like that. I know he doesn't look athletic because his palms face behind him when he's standing still but he is I know he's got Fred Flintstone silhouette, but All right here we go three two one two, one, go. Come on. First one in. Watch this. Nailed it! Let's go! Soccer time.

He's gonna injure himself. Oh, not a bad first shot. Okay. And once you shoot the first three, you can shoot from anywhere. You can shoot from anywhere. Oh. I love the squad getting them back in there with the rebounds though yeah oh no he's not even making Jake he's falling apart

oh Jake is don't be afraid to attack the totally yeah you really get up and fight in these. You can. Oh, there it is. Oh. Oh. Oh no. Was Mike a wrestler? Oh, there it is. Yeah, he did Jiu Jitsu as an adult though. Jiu Jitsu, is that? Yeah, that's the ears.

That's the ears. Oh, he's got cauliflower? He does. Oh yeah, both sides. He does look like a wrestler KB when you see other cauliflower ears out. Do you guys have like a little Jeep? Yeah, I connect with dudes Yeah, I believe it's a good feeling. He's got a good time going very is he good at bat and hoops He's locking in watch it. I understand it now. Oh come on. Oh Stay in there, can you pull more off the rack or you got to wait for them to pass it back to you?

No, you can pull you can pull off the rack There we are there it is there it is man there it is move oh Yes, let's go sit down sit down sit down sparkle. Oh This is easy one. You can rip this one just 10 total seven sports teams in Texas Aggies Pro Pro Oilers Texans Cowboys Rangers boy there's a long time

Fuck what else you got all right, I'm yet Houston Rockets Dallas Mavericks oh three colors on st. Antonio spurs there it is three colors on the flag of Germany Red black and yellow Biggest credit card time to 20 Time that might be the number one comedian Talent right now, let's see if you beat Sam first page first yes Shit wow if you beat Sam. First page. First page? Yes! Woo! Holy shit.

Wow. Look at that, Mike. Spirit of full disclosure, I am on opioids right now. Damn. Beat Doug. Man, that soccer kick really fucking drains a life out of you, man. Yeah.

That's the hardest part. That's bad for you, Tim. I know. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I was actually looking at an even weight tie for everything being the hardest part. Ah. Okay, that's an incredible time.

Well, I'm so proud of you, Mike. Anything under three minutes is a very good time. Thank you. And you're not winded. People are usually out for the rest of the show. I get a lot of exercise. I just eat like a child with dead parents What do you do for exercise jujitsu weightlifting fuck yes

That was pretty good Yeah, you KB has cauliflower too. I didn't know I had it didn't yeah, let's check. He's oh you good What's yours from KB wrestling Wrestling? Chew-Jutu? Eating pussy. Yeah, boys wrestling. Boy, you say boys wrestling? Yeah, cuz girls is popping off. But we didn't... I didn't think... I wouldn't have thought you did girls wrestling. Varsity, yeah.

Yeah. Alright, let's go Tim. Alright, go get him brother. Got this. Good build. Was there anybody who just couldn't finish yeah sass sass That surprises me we'd have cam newton skip the football part That was bad

It is all packet stuck over his eyes. He just couldn't hit it. He could not throw the football Yeah, yeah, that wasn't a joke. We literally we NFL cam Newton was here and we were like, you know what cam don't go ahead the footballs too hard That was close enough close enough cam Was dumb of us to expect you to be able to do this. Yeah, sass What did he quit at football? He Quit at football. He quit at football. He's saying I'm not doing it was it was it was it. Yeah You can you can imagine Kyle. Yeah Yeah, exactly how sad because he quit there's a lot of ways to quit, but there's only one way to quit if you're sass

Yeah, you did it the sass like it. Yeah, I know you know what I did what he did. Yeah, he realized it was stupid halfway through All right Do you what he's got a plan he organized the bag Mike what's your prediction? Well Tim's very autistic so you can see that on display right now He's organizing the bean bags in a way that only he can and that he understands He's stimming right now. Look at it. It's a little floppy.

It's a little floppy. Okay, you ready? Yeah, you might want to get a book. All right, three, two, one, go. Come on, Tim. All right. Just put it in the hole. Oh, that's a good shot.

Oh, no. Oh, no. You're good, Tim. No, I'm not. Oh no. You're good Tim. No I'm not. Oh boy. Tim think about what your haters are saying about you right now. They're calling me gay. Oh god. Hit it. That's not working. It's a log game. Oh, you gotta get them all off. Tim, do you wanna borrow my gun? Hey!

That would be sick. Oh, not a bad first kick. Tim, don't kick it that hard. Oh, man. Ooh. This is where he's a real dick. Oh man. This is where he's a real dick. Oh, there we go. Nice. I'm nervous about him with baseball.

He didn't feel like... Yeah. Oh, that was the daintiest home run ever. Dink. Oh. Yeah. Basketball. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my shit. He's crushing this. This is his Achilles heel. That's a decent shot. Smooth stroke, Tim. Pause. Okay, that one. Okay.

Just keep firing. Bend your knees. Now I get what you're saying about the basketball. Yeah. He's very fast. No. Keep going brother. Little more on it.

You got it Tim. Little more on it. You got it Tim. Little more on it. Okay. Oh no. Oh no. Okay. Oh no, Titus. This is bad. He's not getting any closer. Okay. Just get it up on the rim. Oh! Come on Tim.

This is nice. Oh! There it is! There it is! He's looking a little winded. Oh, that would have been great. He's been working on this because he was dreadful the only other time I've seen him play basketball. And this, this isn't too bad. Titus? Yeah. Did you fix him?

Uh... No. I think I found the first unfixable jump shot. It's not jump. Yeah, not jumping Alright here we go time three minutes each state supporter, Tennessee What the hell children of Chris Jenner main writing instruments like pen. Yeah. Hell. Yeah pencil. Yeah, gotta be Skeeter Valentine Faces menstrual cycle, uh, oh ovulation Mission

No, it's not right we don't have the best filler Two words, it's not right. We don't have the best seller Two words, it's got to be two words It's a hyphen Drew STU keep going State support of Tennessee you got that we see 10 11 most headphones brands. Let's go 11 most head He does not have it feels like fuck I can't name some

Ashens I don't know any uh is Chris Jenner than mother of all of them. Yeah, Kim Kardashian. Yeah, Chloe Kardashian. Yeah Courtney And Chloe Kardashian. Yeah. Courtney. And what's the fucking. Oh, Jay's her father. One more. Courtney. Tennessee. Tennessee. Go to Tennessee. Tennessee. What's the name of state? Mississippi. Name a state.

That that's it. Yeah. You really didn't want to do the Tennessee question. Did not. That was sick. You were just avoiding Tennessee as much as possible. All I could see was a fucking basketball rim. 426, not bad. Tommy.

That's it, that's all I needed. Both of you beat Tommy. Tommy, sorry buddy. I wonder if, I wanna call it. He's gonna be pissed. Oh I think I might be the worst possible person that could beat him at this Yeah, no, he's gonna be very pissed He knew what Would you lower the rim?

Yeah, I was telling them Tommy still texts me like He texts me like ten days ago complaining about someone else having an easier time with the gauntlet. Yeah? Yeah, so it's stuck with him. He's not picking up. He's not awake yet. Yeah, it's 1.30.

It's too early. He also lives a very Pat Burl-like lifestyle. In what respect? He crushes pussy, man. I guess that would make sense. That would be fun Why have I never thought of that such a blast to have that Beer I'd love to see ladies pussy one time

Have people like know you as that guy. Oh my god. Yeah, you know him he crushes pussy I don't think I know any pussy guys. I don't have any pussy guys in my circle Do we have any here at the office? Nick smokes smokes thinks he I think you're just surrounded by secret pussy guys. Yeah, like a real guy doesn't talk about it Yeah, you're surrounded by sensitive in the DMs guys. I promise you dude. Yeah, they're all begging all the time Connor Connor Griffin's a big pussy guy he might be a pussy guy he's yeah Brady has you got the hair of a pussy guy yeah just got it

though yeah he does he does got it late still breaking it in Brandon's actually a stand-up comedian as well I'm sorry not bad no man come on come on we just got back from break how How was your break? It was good. I had good Thanksgiving food. I had some pies. Any pumpkin pie? So I was at the bar the other night, you know, acting all cool like I am. One woman came up to me and she was going to say, Brandon. I said, yeah, that's my name she said Brandon this

pussy tastes like pumpkin pie so don't ask me a damn question like that but I never had no pumpkin pie kick it we're gonna go back to the go you forgot I ain't scared of you motherfuckers that I don't do the whole thing. We're waiting. Oh you were scared. I don't Getting scared like you're yeah, we were all waiting for the shoe to drop man Next time I kind of was scared try to get try it one more time But with I ain't scared of you motherfuckers at the end of why I've tried it 200 goddamn times With I ain't scared you motherfuckers at the end and watch how we all react But no he doesn't he does kick it and then he comes out of the music and says, y'all don't understand. Yeah. I think you need to change in the jeans

that have your image. Airbra. I've looked in. Yeah. I tried to find them. I tried to find them. Couldn't find them. Well, I don't think they're making them yet. We check bases and Coles. Nope. Coles, old Navy, nothing. Don't have any branded face jeans. Google had zero results. What the fuck? That's going to be the last one. No. I tried three.

Smoot should have been the last one. Yeah, it landed. Smoot landed. Smoot was the one. Dude, he was on fire. Yeah. Did you see him? Incredible.

Yeah, he's the best. He's just got that gift. Give him any topic, and he'll just go off. You good? My chest is on fire right now. Dude, when you were. It's not the physical activity, by the way. It's the pressure.

From shooting the threes. When you were shooting the threes, were you letting out little farts at all? Should I have been? I don't know. I don't play basketball. Is that how they do it? That's how they do it that's how you do it yeah that's it all right let me run one more time beef

balance I love the time pool though do you know anybody else from Bluffington mr. dink yeah yeah Judy I think wasn't Judy is is judy funny judy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, neighbor student fucking hated her guts. Oh, yeah How do you man is oh yeah? Yeah, that's where that was the actual neighborhood. I grew up in watching Doug. We had rog calling for his birthday I know it's not yeah, the actual Roger I mean do you guys understand what you are like the life that you guys are leading that's insane And that's insane Wow right Roger Claude

We've been disillusioned by a lot But I could be shopping for guns sitting in a cubicle every day of my life and instead I'm talking to fucking Roger Claude Way nice yeah, when you play nice that wait. How old is he now? Let's Roger and Bluffington Hey, hey, what's up, Rog? Hey, what's up, Jared Nugget? You guys are wild You nuts for that one You want to do the high noon ad Nick? Yeah High noon

No matter the forecast live like the sun's always out with high noon hard seltzer made with real spirits and real juice Text some friends to get the plans going and pick up a pack on the way Text some friends to get the plans going and pick up a pack on the way I knew it's hundred calories with no added sugar and available in vodka seltzer and tequila seltzer variety packs with crisp delicious flavors For any occasion under the Sun visit high noon spirits calm to find a pack near you high noon suns up wonderful Love it video has six point four million views Fucking way all cost was beef being called a cuck. I think he's tweeted some cuckold stuff before, right?

Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna have to be my OnlyFans to see this. You do need to start a cuck series. With Pat? Yeah. Okay, just need a good chair. He doesn't have the look of a cuck though.

It's a shame. Yeah, I know. He looks like he fucks. I know. He does. We're talking about the kid's. It's a shame. Yeah, I know. He looks like he fucks. I know. He does. We're talking about Kate's baby mama. The bee. No, maybe daddy.

Maybe daddy. He's a jerk bag too. He looks like you think he looks. Yeah, in a hot way. He goes by the beeve titty emoji. But Kate has him now being called a cuck by six million people online. We should watch the video one more time.

Yeah, it's bad. Have fun. Call me if you need me. All right. Some of these guys fingered me. There's like genuine debates going on in the comments once you go far enough down of guys being like, I would never. You just went to your 23 year? Yeah, yes, I did. How was it? It was fun. I'm glad I went. You just went to your 23rd reunion? Yeah, yes I did. How was it?

It was fun. I'm glad I went. I just skipped mine. It was a good time. Did people finger at these reunions? At the afters there might have been some things going on. Was there anyone who was like expressively single? I think some people were dressed up like they were going on a hot date.

People were really drunk, I'm glad. I don't think 40 year olds finger. That's a high school activity, and a high school college activity. Yeah, but you get around your high school crew, Brandon, maybe you revert back. But you've all gone on to a prolific life of fucking. 40 year olds go for a blast.

Isn't that default foreplay? Yeah, I mean, to get it started, but we were saying it with some finality like that's what they were doing They were fingering fingering was the end like that was the right that was the end all be in high school That can be the end of those schools. It's not when you're 38. That's not the end I don't finger in a jerk. You know ain't fingering the goche gators. They're not they're fucking who's that? First of all Kyle Goche's in trouble. I don't know. Cleveland

Central gave him fits. No, Cleveland Central was 12 and oh gave y'all Cleveland Central was 12 and oh home central gave y'all homes County Central didn't do shit. We've won 31 to 28. We've been to nine straight state championship games. We're going to be go. Shea. Alright, if you guys are lost, so are we just say no Mississippi for a football. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Alright. Are you guys in lost, so are we. Just so you know. Oh yeah, cool. Mississippi 4A football. 5A, 5A. Oh, you all have to 5A, all right.

Are you guys in the States? Yeah, this Friday night. We'll win the state championship. Friday night? Yep, playing for our 13th state championship. They play it in Starkville? No, they're playing it in Hattiesburg. The Rock.

Yep, but why are you doing this? I've been following. He's got you there. I feel like he knows a lot of details about me in my life that he's just waiting to use at any moment. Yeah. Are you familiar with Machine Gun Kelly? Yeah. Hooray.

What? What? The gangster? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The gangster yeah, yeah, yeah All right Let's continue

I just learned that um he had miss it's a real guy that the rapper is named after I Didn't know that Well, how do you know I'm Brandon? I don't know does he have Mississippi ties he went to the state Yeah, he just straight up took his name the whole name. There was no pun. That's crazy. No do that There's no tweak whatsoever. It was just weak just took his name. It's like I'm a rapper named George Washington or something Yeah Well jelly roll took the name from jelly rolls Yeah You had a... Well, Jelly Roll took the name from... Jelly Rolls. Yeah. True. I guess when you put it that way.

Yeah. Usher. Yeah. Yeah, that was that. That was that job at church. Yeah, Usher did steal it. Yeah, Prince. Oh my god.

Makes me think. All of these have been stolen. She hit. What do you think? Wow. Megan the Stallion took it from actual horses. Yeah, she did. That's facts.

I'm obsessed, by the way, with watching videos of, uh... Oh, there we go, Machine Gun Kelly. Went to Mississippi State for a while. Not long, I mean, he was only there for a while. Handsome. Yeah, that was really good. Kind of looks like White Sox Dave. I thought so too.

Yeah, we got five dudes in Turkey right now getting hair. I'm watching that. Oh, I'm so jealous. Yeah. You have a great head. I know, but I can't wait to lose it because I want the surgery so bad. Yeah.

I want to come home, dude. I want to come home with the big swollen scalp That's what they're all gonna work with that. You should have gone with him and done it. I don't know I got a great head of hair. Yeah, can you get extra hair on your hair? Yeah, I get extra Probably you should get your forehead done the whole thing. I'm gonna expand my hairline Isn't Donnie getting his beard? No way, really? I thought, or maybe it was Eddie. No, someone might be getting a beard.

They recommended it to Rudy. A beard? I don't know if he said yes. Oh man. I would go next year for that if it doesn't look ridiculous. You'll do the beard? I'm glad these guys went first.

I would do a beard. Yeah. Is there anybody that wanted to go that you were just like, come on man, not yet? Eddie is kind of on the, he's got a little bit on the top I don't think Rudy needed to go now Rudy had to go after it was the drone Yeah, it's a little concerning to me that while these little surgeries are happening like half the other dudes are in the room hanging out Yeah, that's like a back out at any moment. I can see Eddie backing out. Oh look at that

They're waiting for their boy at the massage parlor. Oh, he takes so life after That was not a good one, okay, they'll be fine I wouldn't get my face done, but I want my entire scalp just inflamed and full of weird tiny holes, man Yeah, that's what they're all doing right this second. No eyes turkey the place to go to for this. We're trying Yeah, we were trying to figure out. I think it's it's both cheaper and better Hmm which that I don't understand that can't I don't be both can it I cheaper and bad I can't but it's like everyone goes what's Nothing's cheaper and better.

Well turkey's like... Nothing. There's nothing that's like, don't get the expensive thing, get the cheap thing, it's better. There's stray cats everywhere in Turkey, so I wonder if they're just shaving all these fucking cats. How they're doing it. And using cat hair.

It's the fifth most visited country in the world. Didn't know that. That's up there. Wow, guess how much the general cost is. In Turkey? $10,000. $1,500 to $3,500. That's up there. Yeah, well guess how much the general cost is in Turkey and doesn't know 1500 to 3500 If I'm getting surgery on my head, I want it to be more

Well, I was thinking about flying to Colombia to get LASIK because they say they're also better and cheaper I feel you don't want to do that. That's your eyes. I've come to realize that yeah I feels you don't want to do that. That's your eyes. I've come to realize that yeah Your time where it was like I'd be an idiot not to go to fucking To get my eyeballs cut well you got a special circumstance though. He went for a Consult and they said we can't do it because your eyes are so bad But then somebody pulled him aside to say listen man I'm not supposed to tell you this but this is where you want to go if you want to get this done Yeah, and those people also

ghosted me what do you mean your eyes are too bad my my my eyes are bad in like the specific way that the lasers can't really do anything for unless you have like a specialty oh my god you can't really find and they they put me in touch with another facility and they stopped returning my calls so by too bad they mean he can only see dog porn. A device more specialty than lasers? Yeah, it's called like an allegretto laser or something like that. And not everyone uses them. And I think it's a lot more expensive.

So I was just kind of like window shopping anyway. You do not want an Italian laser. I just can't fucking do it. Oh, man. Yeah. All right. Well, should we spin the wheel? It's been great having you guys.

Everyone, buy the book. Thank you so much. It's been a real pleasure coming in here's been great having you guys everyone thank you so much I'm a real pleasure coming in man. Thank you guys. I'm gonna the pod Yeah, follow me. I'm about to put together my like spring run because I want to film something in the summer So follow me on social media and come check this I've been following you don't follow me. Thank you I make my wife watch rough and rowdy me right oh Oh you do yeah, rough and rowdy is the best It's the funniest it's the best It's just the dumbest shit we do and it's like it's it's up there with one of those things where I'm like if I

Like was like gonna retire. I'd be like part of my retirement be like I have to be able to keep doing rough and rowdy It's it's the funniest thing. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for doing it I mean, yeah, it's the best. All Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for doing it. Thank you for your service. I mean, yeah. It's the best. All right, let's spin the wheel. There you go. There's Mike. Oh, look at that.

Hey, I know those guys. Yeah, sweet boys. Oh, check out, yeah, check out Dadmeat and then also check out Tim Butterly podcast. It's a Tim solo cast. And I do a comedy true crime. I promise you it's not fat girl, hot topic true crime. It's fun.

It's called Lil' Stinkers. Check it out. Lil' Stinkers. check it out. Oh yeah. And my books are available at onperks.com. Oh shit, there's a black Tim Rainey that's kinda cooler than you. Only one Rain Man. Whoa.

Yeah, we're not gonna have this. Annie's an easel. All right, maybe we can fuck with him. Yeah, he has, yeah, Go Birds is like first thing. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. All right. It is a combo of you guys. Tim Rainey, only one rain man.

Tim actually got a 23 me done. He's actually like 3 percent Nigerian, I think. What? No, 2 percent Kenyan. That's yeah. Excuse me. My brother. Thank you guys for elevating a brave voice today

All right, well, thanks boys. Thanks everyone for watching the act We'll see you tomorrow go buy the book and go see them when they're on tour. Thanks very much. Thank you guys It's the act! It's the act! Get your straws, yeah! Style a stage for a while It's the act! It's the act! It's the act! It's the act! Get a diamond, talk shop

or do a Yankee swap It's the act! It's the act! It's the act! Yankee Swab is the Yak Is the Yak Hey, oh good to be back Cyber Monday still going on all day by the Yak shirts Those hats are gonna come back in stock soon too but buy the shirts only on sale tonight love you guys let's have a good week and

remember we listen and we don't judge love you guys bye