The Yak - The Barstool Office Has Turned Into A Play-Pen | The Yak 7-26-23

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

GongYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Is Rowan here? Rowan is here. I had a meeting with him earlier today. He'll be in in a second. I've been chilling with Rowan too much, and I caught the meeting bug from him. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

He loves taking meetings. We all love Roback though. Oh my god. Feels so good on the flesh. Huesip. Olos. Joggers. Hoodies.

Hoodies. I was getting there. But go ahead. Take the reins, man. And you don't have to pay full price if you use promo code YAK at Roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.

It's good for summer. It's good for fall. It's good for winter and spring as well. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off. We love it. Wear it head to toe

it's right behind me as well good ass patterns um Kyle you've been funny lately but have you seen the clips what clips

of you being funny no I don't watch you've been playing with your cock in like every single one of them you've been like fiddling with your I don't watch. You've been playing with your cock in like every single one of them. You've been like fiddling with it. That's why I don't watch. Yeah. Are you good?

I'm playing with it. I'm trying to make it grow, dude. Yeah. It's been shrinking. You know when you mush it around to try to get it to grow before. Soften it up like a potato. Yeah, no, that's weird though.

I must be doing that on accident. I'll stop. Jay, you nodded your head. Did you notice? Oh, yeah, of course. I'm not touching it, am I? Constantly. So you asked the one I just saw.

I laughed at the joke. Are people, like, geeking at the cock play? That's what's funny? Well, I think it's the joke combined with the cock play. Yeah, that's embarrassing. No, I don't think so. Under the guise of, like... Stop me.

It's a joke in hand one of you in the booth keep an eye on my cock and say a word let me know when I do it should we get an intern that just watches your cock maybe

cock watcher Sam Sam or Reed I'd love for Sam to do it yeah you would do it too yeah well thanks for telling me

no I could have told you off air so I'm not that nice. No, that's funny. Can we play them? I just want you to see. Maybe you could recognize. Maybe there's some triggers. Yeah. Let's go to this most recent

one of you asking Che if he gets head standing up. Okay. Yeah, let me see. Hilarious. I think there's most clips you've been... Okay, good to know no i'm glad you told me that's not good that can't be doing that i mean these are on what are our tiktok uh i think on the instagram it's go to like the instagram clips or maybe it's the tiktok i don't know but i think some of the comments

maybe even have caught on yeah maybe most of the comments have caught on. Yeah. Maybe most of the comments have caught on. Oh, fuck. Is it... You haven't always been a cock player. No, I told you. I noticed it's kind of shrunk lately. You're probably just getting bigger, man. That might be it. Well, it looks way whacker in the mirror.

Well, just don't look at your cock in the mirror. Yeah. I don't even have your cock in the mirror. Yeah. I don't even have a mirror where my cock is accessible to see. So, Rone is. So, you asked him about that. He's got the fist on it. Oh, that's not my cock. What are you doing?

You guys are grossly underrated. Where is my? Oh, dude, you're pretty much masturbating. You're masturbating him, right? Yeah. Scratching my leg. This is what I'm doing. vito said yeah i'm all good with shaking and sucked off standing up but why is kb asking him about it and then finger blasting

himself at the same time yeah no it looks bad yeah and i think there there might be more i think there's more clips of you okay um yeah so just something to keep an eye on just work on that yeah i'll work on that or we'll just get Sam to watch it you've earned enough I think I can prevent myself from doing that I don't need anyone watching you know it's there if you need it

there's always help available you're not alone alright how to survive in the business another clip of KB fondling himself. It's the only comment. One comment. All right. That's bad.

But we got to stop posting clips just to post clips. Not everything needs to be clipped, boys. Yeah. Yeah. It looks bad. Did you shave your pubes recently? I trim. Well, that could be a source of irritation.

It's not itchy. I think I'm just playing with my cock, dude. Feels fucking good. It's right there. With the modern day technology to shave your pubes, how long does it take you guys to shave your pubes? It takes me maybe 30 seconds max. Yeah.

It's so easy. It used to be like I had to walk out and eat. You're talking about with the newer products. Yeah, with an electric razor. If say I forgot mine or never got one, in a situation like that, it takes me way too long. If I try to get the balls and like underneath the balls. With a regular razor, it takes like an hour. I used to have a kit of multiple tools. You even try to get your asshole and like underneath the balls. A regular razor takes like an hour. I used to have a kit

of multiple tools. You even try to get your asshole? I tried once. That area, the angles don't work. You almost gotta nair the asshole.

You gotta sit on the toilet and do it. Ah. Yeah. I did it when I was pretty young. Yeah? Has it grown back?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Stronger than that. I just don't want ass stubble. No, that's why I never did it again. It was unbearably itchy. Yeah. Stronger than that. I just don't want ass stubble. No, that's why I never did it again. It was unbearably itchy.

Yeah. I had to put fucking baby powder in my ass. Now baby powder has given how many people cancer? How old were you when you shaved your asshole, Sass? What? How old were you when you shaved your asshole? I don't know. In high school?

I feel like you did it once. Yeah, I did. You only did it once? Yeah. You were in high school? Isn't that ass hair in high school? Yeah, I have a lot of ass hair. Do you guys shave your ass, like, regularly?

No. It's pretty long. It's just way, it's too itchy. Cover up the redness. I'll probably do it one out of every 25 trips down there. I don't think... Is that something you're supposed to do as a man? I don't think you're supposed to.

I'm doing it when I'm enjoying myself. I like the action. Yeah. I did that once. I was just in the mood to shave, and I shaved my stomach. I got out of the shower, and I looked like a fucking freak. I hate how I look whenever I trim this. I don't got chest hair. I don't know if I looked like a fucking freak. I hate how I look whenever I trim this. I don't got chest hair.

I don't know if I'm like that or not. I don't have a lot of chest hair. I just have a lot of stomach hair. A ton of chest and stomach hair. Very hairy. I got leg hair real young. It was weird. How young?

Arm and leg hair. I was eight. I was late to pit hair. I was like a sophomore in high school with pit hair. Yeah, me too. Remember your first pube? Oh, yeah. I remember. It just was late to pit hair. I was like a sophomore in high school with pit hair. Yeah, me too. Remember your first pube? Oh, yeah, I remember. It just comes in as one long.

I still have it. Yeah. That's not how it works for everyone. For me, it was just one. I got one long pube. It's like the same thing with your chin or on your neck. You'll get like that one long. Mine was, yeah.

I cut it with nail clippers to get rid of it. I did too. Yeah. Maybe right. Yeah. I was like like this needs to go remember as a freshman on the wrestling team i would shower with i would get a like a jumbo shampoo and uh body wash thing and just so i could cover my dick oh in the shower did you foam it up real big so you couldn't see the dick. Good idea. Damn good idea. I played high school lacrosse and I was the only one that didn't shower.

I'm so embarrassed. I'll just leave after games. I never played a sport where you had to shower. Like after. We would just go home. Did you play any sports in high school? Yeah, but we wouldn't practice in the middle of the day. I never understood that we all lived

like five minutes away from the school yeah you're right why would you have to shower just go home just get in my car and drive a love shower like having the showers like the landscape of it i understand it's probably a bonding exercise but there is uh a big margin for error of like things can go awry yeah schools. Schools can get in trouble. They should just get rid of showers. I don't even get why they do it in professional sports. Yeah. These guys are all millionaires.

They're all going back to their hotel or their house. Oh, no. When you're that sweaty, you don't want to get in your car like that. Really? And then you have the press conference afterwards, I guess. I guess, yeah. I don't like showers. Are showers still like that in the NFL?

Are they still one big open room? I doubt it. I bet they all have their own. Yeah. Jay? No, yeah, it's a big open room. Really? Yeah.

That doesn't even make sense. That's crazy. Why are they forcing them to shower in, like, prison-style showers? Guys are walking around buck naked in a locker room all the time, so what's the difference between the shower and that? You're cleaning yourself. It's, like like a vulnerable thing. I remember the fucking some of the colleges.

We would have to shower on the poles or each pole had three or yeah. Yeah. YMCA had that. Yeah. The YMCA that that shouldn't have been a thing. I was showering next to we were. I did that. Yeah.

I did that when I was really young. I was wearing swim trunks, but We were. I did that. Yeah. I did that when I was really young. I was wearing swim trunks, but they were naked. Yeah. And hard. I remember being like 10, 11 at the YMCA in Elm Grove with vivid cocks in my face. I was cock-hide. When you think about it from the other perspective, these guys, these men were showing boys their cocks.

Yes. But it's always old dudes. I just think they don't care. You probably hit a certain age. I liked it. It was like I was treated as an equal, as a man. I liked that they were cock out. I loved it even. Maybe that's just me. Yeah. I remember

when I used to take swimming lessons. It was like a big group thing we would all have to shower after. Did you have to tickle, tee, touch? That's how I learned how to swim. No. Tickle, tee, then touch.

No, this was like I was I already knew how to swim. What? You lay on your back. Tickle, tee, touch. Oh, it was tee, tickle, touch. Tee, tickle. The new thing is

Chicken Star Rocket. That's probably like the same thing. Yeah, it is. On your little kickboard. I had a crush on my swim instructor. What was his name? Moulton.

I think my first crush was on my neighbor's seat. We should end the episode on that. That was as good as it's going to get for me. Got it. What if I just kicked the shit out of you What was that Kyle I've been thinking about that What

Kicking the shit out of someone Maybe if I could or not Me No If I had to I couldn't One I could Two I would feel so bad

If I did You'd feel bad And then relate back to one I couldn't do it Physically I almost beat the shit out of a barista yesterday. Yeah, you're usually like public service people. How about that?

You know, I've been timing. That's, oh my. In situations that I'm worried to be threatened by impatience, I just pull my timer out, start it to see what happens. Yesterday at Starbucks, finally paid off. No, there's nothing wrong with that. There's something wrong with that. It was busy as hell.

I knew they were scatterbrained. 20 minutes. So I tell the woman. She was a drill sergeant. The woman taking control was good. And I say, I've been waiting. It's been a while. What was your order?

She said, it's coming. It's coming to Red Eye. She said, it's coming. Then I said, well, it's been 20 minutes. She's like, there's no way. I pull up the phone, show her. It was 22 minutes. That's horrible. well, it's been 20 minutes. She's like, there's no way. I pull up the phone, show her, it was 22 minutes.

That's horrible. No, that's badass. She was like, this guy's been waiting for 20 minutes. She was so apologetic and I got a free gift. They were probably ignoring you because you were standing,

playing with your cock in the corner of the Starbucks. No, that's badass. I gotta start doing that. You could have started that timer before you walked in. That's no proof. No, it's proof.

If you're flashing the timer. It was 22 minutes. No, it worked so well If you're flashing the timer. It was 22 minutes. Oh, you got to do it. No, it worked so well. She was like, this guy's been waiting for 20 minutes. So she was like, on your phone. Get him his coffee now. You got to ditch the phone and get like a real stopwatch.

Oh, yeah. Boop. Like, wear it around your neck. Like, you make the beep. I will have the red eye. Yeah. That's pretty much it. And we're off.

I do it for everything. I'll see you soon. Yeah. No, that's a good idea. I got to start doing that in tsa i i've been i've been uh on son of a boy dad this week i think i did a 45 minute rant about tsa you're you've been experiencing a lot of airports which is guaranteed frustration yeah it is it's just like it's just crazy how some are so much better than others like uh the big ones they just fuck you. It's terrible.

The St. Louis airport was insane. Yeah, that one I don't think I had any problems with. Oh, I thought it was like a bus stop. Yeah, it's small, right? Or no, maybe I'm thinking of Green Bay's. Yeah, that was just tiny, but cute. It was fine. Have you ever been to the, what is it, the Kansas City one that's like really fucking small?

Yeah, we've been in the Kansas City one. Yeah, Atlanta was just a, I mean, genuinely devastating. Is it true that the Dallas airport area is larger than Manhattan? Probably. That's fucking insane. I think it was that or the Denver one. Okay. It was one of those, though.

But yeah, that makes sense. I mean, those airports are fucking huge. I don't like any airport where I have to take like a train inside of the airport yeah do they take the air train yeah Pittsburgh has it but there's only one stop so it's not even necessary

yeah really short Dallas was I missed my my stop once it's insane yeah that shouldn't be a thing yeah

I almost missed my flight on Sunday and I got to the airport an hour before my flight started boarding and I got to the airport an hour before my flight and started boarding. And I got to the airport. That's on your fault. After I was boarding. No, it's not.

Yeah. No, it's not. Two hours minimum. I'm not even. I think two hours minimum. I think that's safe. That's like a rule of thumb. In New York, I get to the airport like 10 minutes before I start boarding.

That's fucking insane. Oh, because you get there and you have plenty of time. Yeah. It takes like two minutes to get through tsa and then you're and then you're like what it's like a two-minute walk to your gate i pay for clear and i rarely see airports with clear it's a it's the world's biggest scam on earth uh la guardia has it it's good at la guardia when people complain about airports i like to tune them out. Yeah? Yeah. I used to not give a fuck. Everyone used to be like, oh, flying sucks.

But now I fly pretty much every single week, so now it's becoming a much larger inconvenience. I saw a plane crash on my timeline this morning. I thought you were going to say you saw it. Ten deaths. I thought you were going to say you actually saw a plane crash. If I saw a plane go down, I would never fly again. What happened with that crane today? Oh, yeah, up in Hell's Kitchen.

Big-ass crane. Did you see that, Kyle? No. Pretty scary. Crane? Yeah. Wow. So I actually talked to someone I had been introduced to that was a crane operator oh wow several years ago and i asked about this because this this is a pretty extreme example but

cranes have collapsed and caused issues for years and i asked him and he was a crane operator i said when this happens like how does this happen and he told me he said whenever the and i can't directly speak on this situation it looks like there's a fire which i don't know how that happens yeah there was the upkeep's probably down because all our money's going to ukraine am i fucking right i love i know how to get them but he said whenever a crane like falls and I think this could be an exception with the fire, it's 98% of the time the crane operators fall. Really? Yeah.

That video, I heard somebody, when the audio was on, they said, I see somebody dangling from it. Is that true? I don't know if that's... No, I don't think that... I don't know if that happened. Certain... I mean, it's...

I don't even think anyone... That looks bad. I don't think anyone died. I don't know if that happened. Certain... I mean, it's... I don't even think anyone... That looks bad. I don't think anyone died. Somebody had to have, right? No, I think people got injured up top from the fire. Then it fell on the ground. Yeah, but I think the fire was going on for a while, so they probably cleared out the area. If I had to guess.

That's probably right. The fire started at 7.32 in the morning. Pretty early. The streets were probably 7.32 in the morning. Pretty early. The streets were probably pretty empty. I was running. Home from the gym. You were running? Mm-hmm.

This morning. My knees are killing me, dude. You hear me every time I sit down? How's it going? Not well. I'm not good, man. What are you going for, though? I want to be able to do a 10K.

You want to be able to go fast or just go long? I want to just be able to do it. Yeah. You still on your walking shit? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah. I've been walking a little bit, too.

Yeah, I just walk home from work, typically. Yeah, I've been trying to do that. I live significantly further. I know you do. You live far as fuck. Yeah. You live like an hour away. Yeah.

Crazy. That's probably why your knees are killing you. Probably. No one should be walking that much. Who should we get in here? Rowan's going to be in in a second. He said he's finishing up Pat Bev. Dude, Pat Bev has the priority.

I know. Can we get somebody else? A couple more people? What's that say? I got to talk to you after this. Move one piece. What? We have to talk to you after this. Move one piece. What? We have to talk.

I don't want it to be Les. The more mouse, the better. Oh, for anus. Oh, yeah, yeah. We need to guess anus today. What is playing right now? Transformers? It's Case Race 2.

I don't remember what any of this was, though. I know. I keep catching glimpses of things I don't have any recall. It was probably one of those games that we play at the end. What is this? I think this might be the dozen that we played at the end of the case. Oh, it's just one empty face?

I looked over earlier. It was just a bunch of clients in the office. Those are the sharks. And then just Will Compton in his underwear. What's Jenga? Remove one piece, but if you knock it over, you pick it up. That's twisted. We got a film move? That's Jenga? Remove one piece, but if you knock it over, you pick it up. That's twisted.

We got to film this? That's Jenga. They just described how the game is supposed to be played. This shit is what we're doing? Tall ass Jenga. All right, don't worry about this. This is the future of the New York office. You guys don't have to worry about this kind of shit.

You got that phone with you. You guys are going to be playing arts and kind of shit. You got that phone with it. You guys got comedy on lock. You guys are going to be playing arts and crafts. Nothing's funnier than game instruction. No, it's literally become like a playpen. Dude, I did catch a dopamine boost of watching the Perfect Circle video and like so uncommon at KB's was the best. Yeah, it was. So I won that one.

That's nice. Nice compliments feel fucking good. Not as good as mean compliments feel, though. Yeah. Powering through a mean compliment. You're looking through compliments. You're only looking for mean compliments. Mean compliments are the best.

Yeah. Yes. This handsome dude sucks. The meanest compliment ever. What's up with this super fucking hot guy? Jesus. What happened to Barstool? Now they're just hiring hot guys?

That's ideal. What is this? Africa now? What's that hand doing? Okay. I got you. Yeah, that's Egypt and what's that? What's next to Egypt?

Libya. Corey Rutledge just couldn't help himself. Oh, he's definitely going. I'm surprised he didn't go all the way at the bottom. Whoever's job it is to record this, I feel bad for them. They just got to go through all these highlights. Yeah. Highlights.

Good idea. Is that gonna be on the comedy YouTube? Yeah, it's gonna be on the comedy network. This is, uh, it is pretty fucking crazy what's going on here. Like, no one's here. And there's no... reason to be. I see a lot of driven- Is that live right now, or is that like 3 a.m. this morning?

Live. It's empty, and there's no desks except for in that back corner. So it's like you come in, and I'm like, I could just be more productive at my apartment with my desk. Yeah, but then you're not going to hear a ton of people playing Nintendo Wii. Yeah, and then it's just the big-ass Wii set up in the... I mean, I've been playing MLB The Show for fucking hours every day. It's too easy, isn't it?

It was a little. I played against the Yankees, and they beat me. Beat you? They almost beat me. Do you play as Red Sox every time? Yeah. But I was playing against the Astros for a while

and they were really bad but I feel like the Astros they won the World Series. You just play against one team? Yeah. I was just playing like individual games.

Okay. Yeah. They won the World Series. You can't play any of the things because for some reason the PlayStation and the PC

don't hook up to the Wi-Fi. So you can only play like but you can't play like the expedition and like all that shit it's not downloaded yeah couldn't play call of duty couldn't play fortnite nothing so i have to play mlb sports games so you can't even do the expedition i don't fucking know dude i'm trying my best

dude i uh i'm kind of concerned about myself because I was walking to the subway today because I took this train into work a lot to be concerned about no no I uh thanks man I got like lost on a route I did every day I just got really turned around for some reason that happens to me a lot okay yeah on your phone yeah that's probably like it's such muscle memory I've been doing it every day for fucking three years just today I got turned around very weird that happens to me sometimes

yeah sometimes I have to like do double taking like am I going the right way and I'm like on my street they took scaffolding down so I think like I yeah that's definitely

what it is okay yeah a little shaken up a little shaken up you guys want to call it yeah I got nothing I got nothing. I got nothing.

We should definitely get some other people in here. Spice this up a little bit. TJ, let chat decide what people. No. Yeah, all right. Fuck that. Get somebody. Let's play a game.

We'll pool up yesterday's episode, and we will play it all the way through. Yeah. And then we can review it. Name a time stamp, and if it is during KB Cockplay, you have to take a shot of whiskey or something. All right.

Or drink a high noon. A delicious, delicious, delicious high noon. A pair of Shady Ray. A delicious Delicious Delicious High noon Pair of shady ray Oh wait High noon What? Oh What up Gia?

Were you decided? Were you chosen? Alright you coming in? Why are you You're in You're fully in Why are you Why are you... You're in. You're fully in. Why are you censoring... Why are you...

Talk into that mic real quick, because I have actually a bone to pick with you. That's not funny. No, it's not funny. Fuck me. You're censoring somebody. She's the reason for this. You're not letting Sparky D come in when he wants to?

First of all, fuck Sparky. He's been trying to fuck me since I started Barstool. What do you mean trying to fuck you? He's been trying. He's like he want to take me home with him. He wrote a song about you. He did write a song about you. I didn't fuck about his creepy ass song.

He like a fucking leprechaun. I ain't got time for that. Whoa, whoa. Has anyone else ever written a song for you like that? Yes. Yes, Claire. Somebody's written a song for you? Plenty of people have written songs for me, but.

What genre of music? What? What type of music was it? R&B. Normally it's somebody else's song the sparky oh he keeps saying that he want to take me home with him and he also says that he wants to touch it he's like yeah he want to touch it he just told me he was gonna give me his snake earlier today yes what's his uh job he's a porter so he just rides yeah they so i'm supposed to just let a porter hit you're allowed to's a porter. So he just rides the fleet. So I'm supposed to just let a porter hit. Let a porter talk like that.

No, I do. I let him talk like that, but once he starts, you know, he's like, he wants to put a snake in me. I'm like, okay, little leprechaun. Back the fuck up. This is why I draw the line. Tarnishing the legacy. Alright. Came in to say hi, motherfuckers. Hi, Eb. We love you, Ebony. Love you, too.

What's up? What's up? Welcome. How you living? Why are you staring at me like that? A little disappointed. A little disappointed? In me?

Yeah. No, you do. You are, Clemmer? Why? I'm not. I don't know why. What the fuck did I do to you? I am not disappointed in you.

I don't know why. I'm wondering why they're disappointed in you. Sass came in looking like... Pat, Pat Bev's a lot more important to you than we disappointed in you. I don't know why. I'm wondering why they're disappointed in you. Sass came in looking like... Pat Bev's a lot more important to you than we are to you. No, it was a specific guest that could only be here during this time. Not about... D'Angelo Russell?

Freaking finally. Deloading? Loading. Yeah, deloading was finally on. D-Ross. And he canceled like ten times. Yeah, he canceled twice. But he was so excited to be on.

He was so nice but uh he's not more you guys are more important to me but it was just a time crunch and i just knew that clemmer could put the fucking team on his back see the one that ruined nick young's relationship i did i did ask him about that he was like you know i didn't do that shit oh yeah maybe he didn't do that shit tell yeah i mean if he said he didn't but But, like, couldn't you... Did he post a picture? I don't know what he did. He filmed Nick Young, or someone filmed Nick Young talking about Iggy Azalea or something like that,

about saying that he had different girls, and then they maybe broke up. I don't know. I don't freaking know. That's just baller life. Gotta expect that shit to happen. Yeah, it is. Right?

Isn't that, that shit is how it is. Yeah. What have you guys been talking about? What's up, Gio? What's up, Clemmer? I don't think anything. Pretty much nothing.

Scott here. Really? Yeah, we just, we just walked in. Oh, KB heard you? Yeah. Hell yes. Great additions to the show.

I actually yelled out to the group, a large group of people. They were the only two that wanted to. One too brave enough. There was a lot of silence when you asked. Who else? out to the group, a large group of people. They were the only two that wanted to. I wasn't too brave enough. There was a lot of silence when you were asked. Who else? Unexpected silence.

I thought people were going to be jumping out. Me too. I was like, oh, I don't know. They're all too busy playing Mario Kart. Yeah, why come on the Yak when you can play Mario Kart? That's true. We tennis. Dukes gave me a hard no. Dukes?

Yeah. Hard N? He's a slut for the camera. Not since he's been injured. That kind of puts a man in his place a little bit. A lot of injuries. I saw Colleen on the street the other day. She said she fractured her femur.

Oh, my God. Yeah. It's one of the harder bones to break. I guess a while ago. I haven't seen her. I was going to say I haven't seen her. She was on crutches. Isn't she a big runner?

Yeah. Runs like a million miles. Stress fracture? I don't know her I was gonna say I haven't seen her She was on crutches Isn't she a big runner? Yeah Runs like a million miles Stress fracture? I don't know Your femur is fucking The headphones are loud today You just gotta will I'm lifting on my back again

You just gotta power through that shit Probably not a good idea Anything Goggins would do Gravy Is it gravy? No I have better form now I needed that Yeah

They said your form sucked oh you needed that that type of shit um gee did you tell the people about the meeting that we had this morning no i didn't we had a very very productive meeting this morning me roan madeline and nick yeah about a potential and nick are trying to develop a show for them. A show that they could podcast. Oh, wow. A live show. A time slot that hasn't been taken up. What category would that go under? Black.

We'll get our 23andMe back, see if we could be a... Maybe a percent. Yeah. Might be pushing it, but I don't know what category. Maybe entertainment or possibly comedy? It's never as simple as entertainment. We actually don't have a category. Maybe entertainment or possibly comedy. It's never as simple as entertainment. We actually don't have a branch of entertainment.

I thought you were talking about the barstool. No, we are. Okay, okay. Who would be your GM? Who are we looking at for a GM for you? In terms of the barstool GMs? Yes, yes, yes. Well, I love the GM who does our stuff, Paige.

She's fabulous. So you want to be... I would love for Paige to help us. Paige? Yeah, she's fabulous. So Madeline's like very optimistic and positive. Are you going to bring like a colder energy? Yeah, that's like vibe.

Like we are very opposite. So I think that's why we work well together because she's very bubbly and I'm a bit more of- I don't think you're a hater though either. No, I'm not a hater. What's pissing you off though lately? I don't know.'re a hater though either I'm not a hater what's pissing you off though lately I don't know fucking men talking about Barbie like low key yeah

but I don't even want to get into it the movie's not for them men are watching Barbie and then talking shit yeah I would say so someone buys a ticket though shouldn't they be able to have an opinion about something counterpoint are you going to be on the show, Clever? I don't know.

That one sentence really... I like you discovered black holes, man. It's not straight. What's going on? He has the physique of a physicist. Yeah. Astro. They wanted me for Oppenheimer,

but I had to say no. Same build. Were you born next to a test site? Explain a lot. But yeah, you do have to answer his question. Oh, sorry. Can you repeat it? Yeah, so if a man or anybody buys a ticket to a movie,

shouldn't they have the right to an opinion about that movie? No, I completely agree. I just think it's certain opinions that people are saying that are just making me angry. It's not that I'm getting mad at people being like, oh, I didn't like the movie. Oh, I thought the movie was not my favorite, whatever. It's more like their perspectives on it where people are saying that it's too woke

or anti-men and stuff like that. That just kind of pisses me off because that's not the point of the movie. Clearly, it went over your head. So does Barbie the toy have a plot? so like what is what what is this i mean that's that's all the kids imagination i mean did lego the toy have a plot i mean that's one of the big that's one of the big parts about it is you know barbie's a toy so a lot of the movie is very silly so it keeps that aspect of like it being like is she like a toy that came alive in the movie? She is Barbie and she goes to the

real world, basically, is what it's about. It's a kid's movie, isn't it? No, it is not a kid's movie. What's it rated? PG-13, but it's... I mean, kids can watch it, but like, I wouldn't say it's geared towards children. What issue does it tackle? Does Margot Robbie have nipples in the movie?

Traditionally, Barbie is nipple-less. You checked. It's a known thing. You ripped her clothes off. That's a known thing. Pull up like a promotional image. They do say something along the lines of... Is the saturation?

That Ken doesn't have a penis because it's just there. It's just plastic. It's just plastic. He has briefs, but not a penis. He has flesh-'s just it's just plastic it's just plastic he has briefs but not a penis he has flesh colored briefs in the Ken's that I remember I'm dressing

Gosling without a dick would fuck more than me a little bit a little bit he'd be like the the baggo player with no arms are you talking about Ken

have we talked about Gosling Gosling without a penis yeah weirdly yes Gosling didn't have a dick we'd fuck more yeah it's a topic of conversation that's like the first thing Gosling without a penis? Yeah. Weirdly, yes. I think we talked about Gosling didn't have a dick. It's a topic of conversation. That's like the first thing you do if you're, like, I grew up with sisters.

You find the Barbies and you're alone and you rip their clothes off. I could close my eyes in a minute. Instantly. Kind of instinctively. Like a primal, like, rip the clothes off. You know, over the two. You don't even have to think about it. You just see them and you go over and you rip all their clothes off. Like, oh, pretty realistic.

And you know what else you do? You turn their heads around. Yeah. So she doesn't have to see what you're doing. Pop them off, yeah. I love playing with the Barbie groceries. I don't want you to see this. You're not going to like this.

Barbie's heads are very disproportionate. I would play with the mansion and the grocery items a lot. I had my dad on high alert. Yeah. You had him examining my playtime. We had those. We had the Barbies. We didn't have as many Barbies.

We had a lot of Polly Pockets. Polly Pockets, yeah. Polly Pockets. I used to chew on the clothes of the Polly Pockets. Yeah, that was a good mouth feel. We'd just carry those around and squeeze the clothes. Brats were hot. Brats were snotty.

Brats were baddies. I was more of a Brats girl than a Barbie girl. I couldn't believe American Girls dolls lasted that long. That's like something. That's what I'm saying. They do. Well, I think like adults are still into American Girl dolls. They have like movies.

They kind of had a resurgence of American Girl dolls. American Girl did? The stores are still like jam-packed. Yeah, I don't know if they did like some sort of deal Girl dolls. The stores are still jam-packed. I don't know if they did some sort of deal with TikTok women of TikTok, but all these TikTok influencers have been going to American Girl dolls

with their American Girl dolls. There'll be a Livvy Dawn American Girl doll within six months for sure. Not a Barbie. Not a Barbie. An American Girl doll. I wonder if this will help Barbie. I wonder if Barbie will make a comeback. Seems like it. Has Barbie ever faded away? Yeah. Not a Barbie. An American Girl doll. I wonder if this will help Barbie. I wonder if Barbie will make a comeback. Seems like it. Has Barbie ever faded away?

Yeah. Oh, man. I think. I don't know. You can't say I think after saying yeah like that. Yeah. He was so confident. Yeah.

It's literally everything I do. And they made the Jewish one. I've never known. When I would go to visit the little kids, I rarely saw Barbies. It's all new shit or old shit. Yeah, it's like Cocoa Melon and Paw Patrol's big one. They sell Barbies everywhere. You get them for like two bucks.

Where are the toy stores now? Dollar General. Yeah, Target. Target's a big one. I bet a lot of people buy toys across the country like Walmart. Yeah, Walmart. Yeah, Walmart. Because our us went out of business, right?

Yeah. Toys R Us, I think. Back online, maybe? I think in Macy's you can have a special spot where you can go to Toys R Us, but it's sad. Toys R Us used to be awesome. Have you done a New York fact on the wooden escalator in Macy's? I have not, but I've always been fascinated with it. Always!

I go on it and I'm like, this is amazing! That turned you into Louis Armstrong. Whoa! It is awesome. I mean, we all have to admit it. You should go do it. I don't think I've ever been on it. Oh, it's fun.

That's a great idea. Clemmer, I watch all of your NYC videos literally all the way through every time. I find them so interesting. Thank you. Yeah, they're fun to do. It was crazy. I was there at the filming of your Domino Factory one.

That one was so interesting. And so you were like, yeah, I read it on the way to the train. One take, you just memorized it. You memorized the whole thing. Yeah, but like I said. You're just correct. The people that like, that's impressive. It's like taking a test the second it's over, I forget everything.

That's how I am. Yeah, people call it a talent. Like, no. Your memory's better than mine. Yeah, you have recall. What are you talking about? You remember maps that you saw when you were a tween. But do you film one at a time?

Yeah, one a week. I feel like that's inefficient. We told him to do more. I think that you could go out for a day and film a fucking monthly. Well, listen. You're wasting your time. It's a lot of research. No, it's not.

It's volume. I spend a lot of time. I've got to find a good story. It's not a lot of research. It's not research at all. There's a million of research. No, it's not. It's volume. It is a lot. I spend a lot of time. I got to find a good story. It's not a lot of research. It's not research at all. There's a million New York City facts. You could walk in Macy's. You could do five different ones.

Oh, no, no, no. On the first, 15th, and 30th of the month, and there'd be fucking 13 other facts in between each one of them. You can't do three. Yeah, you can. You can do 10 at once. Five at once. That cheapens it, man.

That's not what it's about. It's a young man's game. And it's about volume not what it's about. It's a young man's game. It's not a young man. It's a young man's game. Who are you trying to appease to? Oh, my God. I imagine people like me. No, you're trying to do less shit.

You should be trying to do more shit. I do a lot of shit. There's an appetite for fucking more of this. TJ, is there a way I could turn my headphones down? Yeah, I can get somebody to do it. Thanks. Sorry. You don't even need headphones honestly you

could just pop them off yeah okay is that better that is yeah you could was really loud i'm sorry i have i am perforated my eardrum yeah so i think that uh if you filmed if you filmed five on one day yeah and you put them all out throughout the entire week or if you film three a week and you put it out like Monday, Wednesday, Friday or something like that, I just think that there's

more of an appetite for it and I also think it should be going on the Twisted History shit or like all those accounts and stuff. Well, like, this is like, all kidding aside,

one of my struggles is like it's not my job to make the NYC packs. Who gives a fuck? I do. I don't want to like do something that's not your job. You don't want to do more. No, I do more but my job is like, it's not my job to make the NYC facts. Who gives a fuck? I do. I don't want to like, do something that's not your job. You don't want to do more.

No, I, no, I'll do more, but I, my job is going to come back. Who's making, who makes the NYC facts? Me. Oh.

Isn't your job, isn't your job to do content and that's content? It is. Yeah, it is. I just, it's like not Barstool branded. But it's one more thing

under your belt. But it could be, it could be. If they wanted to, if they said, Chris, I want you to do those, then I'd be like,

all right, yeah, absolutely. Who's they? Who's they?'s they the gms we have many gms who's they gm of history you should present today i'm asking you right now to do more i don't know who does i i'm the newest guy in this office i don't know you should present this to someone clever and you should like try to sell it maybe like nyc facts presented by i would love to do i honestly and this is not a joke i just just don't know how to do that. I don't know who I should talk to. I can get you in touch with some people.

Okay. Look at that. That would be great. No, I would love to do that. I don't know how. You won't do it unless it's sold? No, I'd do it anyway. I'd do it now.

What if you got a cameraman who also edited it and make it look real clean? That sounds great, but that's like a resource. I don't know how any of that stuff. You don't even need that, dude. My wife tapes most of them. We just go somewhere. It seems like you and your wife love to be intrepid travelers of the metropolis. Yes.

From landmark to landmark. Why not make that thing that you're already passionate about a type of content? I would love to. You don't have to memorize this. You could have cuts. Oh, no, no. I don't like that. One take, Clemmer.

I just don't know who you're waiting for to give you permission to make these videos that you can make on your own. With most companies, I imagine, you do something and people are like, all right, let's monetize that. Here's how we do it. Someone would sit with me and do that. You have your proof of concept. Who's people, though? Who's people? I imagine a sales team.

I imagine business management. I imagine people. I was in business before this, right? Like for 20 years I did sales. There's always like a corporate structure. And there's a way to kind of things to get done. Here it's not that way. Here it's very kind of, which is good and bad.

But there is like a chaos element to working here that I haven't. I mean, my first couple months here I really struggled with it. You said you lost 20 pounds or something? Yeah. What? Yeah. Where? Did your head fall off?

If you watch... He lost his ulna. If you watch the mini golf thing, I'm like 15 pounds lighter. Yeah, I had a lot of... I don't... Because that's not typically how the workplace is, which is good. I imagine it invites creativity. But then it's like,

all right, well, then what do I do with that? You are staying in New York City. Yes. At the end of these videos, you're going to have to slip on a banana peel or get pied in the face. Oh, yeah, right, right. Yeah, I expect it.

What did you do before this? Me and Carrot Top would go. I was in corporate sales. I sold everything from signage to educational software to school websites. Who would it be valuable? Who would you believe it from if they told you you should do this? Because I'm just going to get that person to say it to you.

Whoever. You obviously don't respect Roan. I do respect Roan. I'm telling you to do this. That's great. Okay, but should I do that instead of blogging? Should I do that instead of – Just put it out as a blog both just put it out as a blog everyone you do you put it out as a blog and you write the text underneath it and then it's a self-fulfilling i don't know is that what

the blog is that what the editor would want with it is that like i could do that i i just don't want to think you're thinking too much about it you are my life yeah you are because you could easily do both clumber you could easily blog and do these videos both. I could make them both. Yeah, and this is like, right now, working here is not a ton of guidance. There's no guidance. And sometimes I do think too much. And I think everyone, I'm guessing if we had a little more guidance here, things would be a lot easier. I'm trying to guide you right now.

This is the moment. This is it. This is the guidance. This is the... There's no better mentor than Roan. No, I know. I know. You work with Tommy a bunch.

But that's not even true, but I think it's more that it's a supply and demand thing right now, and we're demanding more than you're supplying, and I think that we can balance it to a point where everyone feels good about that, where you feel like you're putting out enough, and we feel like we're getting enough

of this good stuff you're putting out. Okay, that sounds great. I agree. That's beautiful. Fuck yeah. Okay, that sounds great. I agree. That's beautiful. It's done. There's a deal. There's something in action. I'll start doing more. Three a week. That's definitely doable. It's not a question. I just want to make sure it's three a week.

That's three blogs. That's true. As long as that's a good blog. That's the other thing. I always want to write good. I try not to put out shit. Who are you worried that's going good blog, that's the other thing I always like. I always want to write good. I don't just put it. I try not to put it like shit. I try to like have it. Or are you worried that's going to yell at you for not blogging enough?

Oh, no. I'm more worried that. There is a quota now. There is a quota. There also is an element of I want to make sure I'm doing my job first and the other shit second. Hmm. Fair enough. May I ask what your quota is?

Is that? I don't know if we're allowed to say that Let's fucking say it They're just on this show Who's allowing and not allowing? Let's just count his last month Oh well I'll tell you

So last month I didn't hit it Okay so a little By how many? Well no Because then people will go back and count See this is a What percentage? I'm not going to say what is

What percentage? Well no People can still figure that out, Rowan. That's the thing about a quota. It's just a suggestion. That's what it seems to be. So, guys... Quality doesn't matter.

Quality matters. I try not to write shit. It's a quantity thing, though. If you're saying it's just a quota. It's just a quota. But I'm not going to put out just a garbage blog to hit my quota. How much did you miss it by? If I say that, people can figure it out.

How much did you miss it by? Just say it. I'll put it this way. It wasn't... Why would you not be able to say it? I don't think people are going to... I don't know. I don't know what I'm allowed to do.

I don't know. Like, Flair's quota is going to leak. You're allowed to say it. What's that? You see... I'm allowed to say? Yeah. My quota is 25.

Oh, you're... I had 16 last week. 25 a week? Oh, you were way off. Oh. I was way off. But a lot of that... Yes.

So how can you not do these videos? I can. I'm doing a bunch of that is. So how can you not do these videos? I can. I'm doing a bunch of other shit. I hate you. I'm also the one, you know, you guys ask people to come in. Who's the guy that came in here? I gave you a good blog suggestion. Did you?

Yeah. Worst last movies by actors before they died. So like. Oh. It is a good one. Yeah, it's a good one. That's a good one. I like to write that one.

That could be a series too. You do only a couple of them. No, I'm going to put that in my blog. So typically, wouldn't they be like... Send off Heath Ledger well? Maybe not. No, no. That might be the best.

Oh, that's right. I keep thinking... You're right. You're right. You're right. That little boy. Clemmer, you're a likable guy. Yeah, you're very likable.

That little boy who works here. Oh, the child. Yeah. Oh, the little tiny childable. That little boy who works here. Oh, the child. Yeah. Oh, the little tiny child. The one who's always just smashing two cars into each other for his work. He sits behind me, and I always turn around. I'm like, you are so young. Did you see him burning ants with a magnifying glass yesterday?

I did. I couldn't believe it. That's me if I could buy him fireworks the other day. You did. We gotta get him a segment, like reading popsicle sticks or something. Yeah, popsicle stick jokes. Finish them as fast as he can. How many he can finish and how hard

his head hurts. He'd probably love to get a hold of me. Brain free? Let's get him a brain free. Make him get a brain free. Yeah. When I talked to him for the first time, I was like, how old are you? And he said his age. And I was like, wait, what? And he was like, yeah, my dad got me the first time I was like how old are you And he said his age And I was like wait what And he was like yeah my dad got me this internship I was like hell yeah let's go

I was playing MLB Using family to get an internship is weird though Yeah After that came out of my mouth I was like wow But I wasn't 16 or however old he is He's young but It's very much the same thing. What were you saying, Tess?

I was playing MLB the show. He asked me if I brought the PlayStation from home. I was like, is that your PlayStation? Why did he think that? Absolutely not. Why would I bring my PlayStation to the office? Like, all right, I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else. Haven't you, like like traveled with your Xbox before

or your PlayStation? Like from my I bring it home sometimes. Oh, OK. You've never brought it like on the road? On the road. I've thought about doing it

but I never have. NBA guys do that. LeBron walking with his PS2 is sick. I'm probably going to I might buy another one to do that. They build like these

TJ, correct me if I'm wrong like these suitcases like you can plug it all into the suitcase, then it just has one plug that goes into like your... Oh, really? Yeah. For traveling with like a system. You stream too. Xbox One, they definitely do that for. You need to stream with Rudy. I know,

I know. It's hard though because I do Xbox and he does whatever that shit's called. PC. PC, yeah. Isn't like every single game cross-platform now? Yeah, it is. A lot are. But, yeah, I mean I haven't streamed in a minute though because I moved and my new setup kind of sucks. I live in a 2x4 studio

so it's like... You're saying aesthetically it sucks? Yeah, aesthetically I don't know. And I also like, I don't really have that many games. I literally just play Fortnite. All I do is just play Fortnite. That's popular. Yeah, but like it's not really anymore. It's more for younger kids. It's more about you interacting with your fans. You interact

well. Yeah, that's true. I like talking to people for sure. It's fun. And when I was playing Red Dead Redemption, that was so much fun. But I haven't been able to find a game that I like as much as I like that game. I tried playing Jedi Fallen Order or the one before that. It's office is a gaming-ass office

now. Yeah, I bowled a 235 in Wii is a gaming ass office now. Yeah, I bowled a 235 in bowling. It was sick. Yeah, I was trying to work. It was at like 530. I'm fucking joking. I was not. I was watching the 235.

The NBA jam is fantastic. Yeah. Shout out TJ for bringing all that stuff in. Are you going to take that away, TJ? Yep. What? What? It's my stuff.

Oh, that's all your stuff? The controllers are mine. The memory cards are mine. The Wii was the game time room Wii. Okay. That's why there's a bunch of random Barstool employees. So what's a list of things that we're going to need to keep having fun? I was playing as Willie Colon when I was bowling.

Yeah, that's right. He is the body of a good bowler. Yeah. I think. Yeah, definitely. Definitely can spin that thing. I miss Willie and his peacock. Dude, you used to have a peacock.

Did it die? Did it? What? A pet peacock? Did it get eaten by a fox or a badger or some shit like that? I think he had seven and they all got fucking slayed. Slayed literally, not figuratively. I thought it was the chickens.

They were slaying until they got slayed. Keep going. Well, I feel like peacocks slay. Yeah. Sorry, Zach. Are you trying to say something? Sorry. You're interrupting the fuck out of me.

We're trying to joke over, we're trying to figure out who committed this mass murder. Oh, I'm so sorry about these peacocks. I'm really sorry. Yeah, it's okay. I don't think that, or it was chickens, he said,

and no one cares about chicken death. No. It's hard to do without being a hypocrite, you know? I eat chicken all the time. So it's like, all right, how upset could I really be? How old do you think the chicken is that you're eating?

He had chicken. He had like a small rotisserie. Yeah. This is a child. It's like super convenient for one person. I mean, this child is perfect. That sounds perfect. Rotisseries are generally too big.

I would love a mini rotisserie. When they sell rotisserie chicken at the stand and you get it and it's just a full rotisserie chicken, but it's like tiny. Yeah. This is the perfect amount for one person. Francis gets it every single week. I've walked in there a couple times seeing Francis eating that little thing. I went to a restaurant and they served, it said baby chicken and it came out. It was like a hangman thing and it was like dangling off of like a rope or whatever, only this big.

But chickens, when they're full, they get, I think they get full grown at three months. What? That's not surprising. I believe that. So what the hell's a baby? What's the smaller version? A chick. A chick.

So we had chickens in the house in New Hampshire. How do you think chicken nuggets are made? Yeah, don't they throw chicks in there? Yeah. They do not. I think so. One chicken nugget is just the torso of a chick. Of a chick.

Of a deboned torso. Yeah. You have to keep them under the sun lamp and everything because they're so young. Oh, they're so cute. Yeah. But then the dogs will eat them? You know, if the dogs... Oh, yeah.

There's also... I don't have a dog. There's also... Like coyotes? Yeah, like... My sister's... Fiance's sister used to have ducks named Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and they got eaten by coyotes. Damn.

Foxes. I didn't know you could domesticate the duck. Yeah, you can, and they turn white when you domesticate them. A lot of girls in college had ducks. I consider- They'd go to a house party, and they'd always have a little ducklet following them around. I considered getting one during COVID, but I didn't want to be responsible. It was like a duck fad.

Yeah, there was, honestly. You know, KB would step through. I wanted to name it Winky. Winky? Yeah. Like a penis? No. Was there a penis

that was a kid? No. No. I feel like I referred to my penis when I was a child. Even if I did, I wouldn't hop on your side now. Thank God,

because I was like, oh my God, that just sounded so weird from my end. But now it's more weird from your end. Yeah, god damn it. No, I never did. I was just, fuck. I never did that. Maybe a dinky?

That was just one of the. A dingle? DJ, can you Google the word winky and see what pops up? I'm going to look up winky penis. Like a Y or IE? Well, if you look up winky penis. Look up winky penis. Like a Y or IE? Well, if you look up winky penis. Look up winky child penis. Yeah, because I think you can't have a winky past age 11.

That's when it becomes a cock. That's when it becomes a full-fledged fucking cock. No, there's got to be a name before cock. How old are you and you had a cock? What, you got a cock? I got a cock. A dick comes before a cock. Yeah.

No, not even. I don't have a cock. I don't have a cock now. Penis. I got a cock? A dick comes before a cock. Yeah. I never had a cock. I don't have a cock now. Penis. Hmm. I'm Kenneth. Winkies. Hmm.

Thesaurus. Penis. What is it? Winky. Oh, yeah. Winky. Plural. Winky.

Slang. Childish. Wow. Penis. Quotation. What about the fucking Teletubby? Wasn't there one called Tinky Winky? But, I mean.

Oh, that's Tinky Winky. That sounds like a small child penis. I think one of the ghosts in Pac-Man is Winky. Yeah, I think so. Winky. Winky, Winky, Winky. They all have that. They're shaped like child penis, too.

Blue, blue. What's the blue one? Aren't they a little, just a little acorn? Clyde. Clyde. Yeah, Clyde, Clyde, yeah. You know all the... Remember when you went to bed with a Winky and woke up with a cock?

It's like getting into the chrysalis and coming out a butterfly. It's fully forming. It really is beautiful. You know all the Teletubbies' names? Oh, no. Teletubbies are after my time. Dipsy. Dipsy.

Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy.

Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy.

Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy.

Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. Dipsy. They scared me. I can do the seven dwarves.

Okay. Happy, sleepy, dopey, They scared me I can do the seven dwarves Okay Happy, sleepy, dopey Sneezy, grumpy Bashful And Shit I forgot doc So that was a weird thing to bring up

That you can't do Yeah you're right Now I'm embarrassed Fuck Who is it? Your coach that. Yeah, you're right. Now I'm embarrassed. Fuck. Who is it? Your coach. There she is, the most beautiful girl. Take a seat. Oh, man.

You have one second? Just a second. Hey, guys. Are you doing macro dosing right now? Yeah, I am. You guys have the best merch in the game. Really? I think so.

Thanks, guys. Madeline. Hitchy dog. Hey. You spilled the beans on what the meeting was about. I'm so excited. Me too. I know.

This is like breaking news. I haven't told anyone. Big things are happening out in the lobby right now. What the fuck is happening? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Sparky. What am I? Oh, shit. What?

Oh, no. What if he got decked? Or maced? Maybe she's tired of the advancing. He got some pretty heavy accusations. What was the accusation? He wants to put his...

He wants to give her his black snake. He wants to put his... That's just give her his black snake. He wants to put his... That's just how porters talk. You added in black. He said, let me touch it. He said a lot of stuff. Black porters make me crave a beer. Did you hear that?

Oh, I heard him serenade her. Let me touch it. Bring him in here. Get him in here. Oh, God. Do we have to? We have to. Yeah, yeah.

We have to. But, yeah, we talked about the potential of you guys having a show. Yes. And I think that it will be really exciting. You know what? We haven't released any potential names or anything. Oh, they're both coming. Yeah, no.

No, no, no. We have one good name that Nick came up with. Yes. No, I didn't come up with it. You said it, and I said that's a good name. Oh, well, yeah. All right, thank you. No, I didn't come up with it. You said it, and I said, that's a good name. Oh, well, yeah. All right, thank you. Hey, hop on the mic.

My God is so good. We like that. We want you to sing. What's going on with you and Eb out there? I don't know. You know, I'm trying to do what I got to do as a man. Boys want to be boys. Exactly.

Exactly. And how's it going? It's levels to this life. I just get it right. Don't you know, up and down in my life. Come on, there's stacks and bricks in my life. Come on, all I do, I don't know backwards flip. I get this money because I'm part of this.

Ah, that's a good act. Is she respecting your hustle or do you feel like you're not seen by her? Nah, she... Oh my God, she... Oh, my God. She's trying to give me a heart attack real quick. You know what I'm saying? That is a little bit too much for me, you know? Too much ass?

I don't know. Can you handle all that? Oh, I don't know. Lord, I don't know. I'm an old man. I'm an old man. That's not true. That's not true.

I'm an old man. That's not how you carry yourself How about that edit That they did of you singing Last time with that echo That's taken off That should be in a movie Or something

100,000 on Spotify Spotify right now That shit is awesome What if we signed you To a 360 deal on the Yak Like Motown Records Back in the day Yeah yeah

That's what I'd do That's what I'd do Hey The only girl Oh my god Like Motown Records back in the day. Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. That's what I do. Hey there, lonely girl. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my only girl. Ebony, please come into my life. Woo.

Hey. Hey there, lonely girl. Lonely girl. My only girl. Only girl. All right. I got to girl, my only girl. All right. I got to go, y'all. All right, all right, Sparky. He always leaves us wanting more.

Always. It's the best. Good appearance. The taste today. Persistence is key. Yep. Thanks for inviting me again. Hey, anytime.

See you next time. Bye, Sparky. What a nice boy. I can't believe anyone would move to Chicago after that guy's there. I just canceled my lease while he just was singing right there. Yeah, that was incredible. Wow, he really has it going on. I can't wait to hear what kind of vocal effect they put on that thing.

Hey there, lonely girl. That's going to be stuck in my head all day now. Yeah. Oh. That's what he does. I can't believe they didn't remix it. He just has good energy Good vibes I can't get enough of it

How old do you think he is? 35? Yeah Definitely Sparky? I bet you he's a lot older Than I think 16

His dad got him a job Young ass Sparky Bad little kid He's a bad little boy He does remind me of the kids. Dan, but one thing that struck me as we had our meeting earlier is that you guys, the layouts of all your guys' offices in Chicago are going to be fucking crazy.

Like all the setups that you guys are going to have sounded fucking nuts. It's kind of overwhelming. Yeah, they're going to have so many resources. They're going to get lost. We have couches. I do appreciate that, and video games that we're going to have so many resources. They're going to get lost. We have couches. I do appreciate that, and video games that we're about to get rid of. We're having couches, too. It's a couch.

It's a couch. Oh, we have many couches. Yeah. No, I'm not getting a desk in Chicago. I'm purely getting just one cushion. And booths, though. I heard that they got a lot of booths. Oh, I haven't heard about the booths.

Like a TGI Fridays. There's just booths all over the place. People will be recording from booths, or there a lot of booths. Oh, I haven't heard about the booths. Like a TGI Fridays. There's just booths all over the place. People will be recording from booths. There will be recording booths. Seats for people in booths. Oh, I wish we had a recording booth. Matt Gerdos, I think I can tell you this. Yes, hey.

Oh, yeah. We've talked about it. We're going to have a music studio. What? Who sings? PFT. He's going to lay it down on the mic. Damn.

Arian's a rapper. Yeah, that's going to be it down on the mic. Damn. And Arian. Arian's a rapper. Yeah, that's going to be fun. Damn, I got to get a booth. Yeah, you really do. Or at least a phone booth or some shit like that. Just some type of lighter booth that we... We might just have those metal grates on the wall, though. We have the scaffolding outside that we can hang out on.

Set up some lawn chairs on. It's going to be fucking sick, though. I truly can't wait. That breeds comedy, though. Being in a rougher situation makes you funnier. I heard that 3% of all of New York's streets are covered in scaffolding. I believe that.

3% of the entire city. I would guess more. Yeah, I feel like 3% is really low. I would have said double digits. Really? 11% to 12%. Yeah, When it's raining,

you can go from point A to point B without getting wet. Really, yeah, if you just hug the building, if you just stay nice and close to the building. Are you guys worried that being in a nicer office is going to make you guys less funny?

Yeah. It's not a comedy. I think it'll make us, I think it naturally makes people appear less funny if they have this luxurious space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so the pressure's on. That's why comedy clubs have brick walls as backgrounds.

They wouldn't trick you into thinking you're in an alley or some shit like that. Not the case, though. Unless it is, Sass. Is that true? I have no idea. And if a comedy club is in an alley or not? I don't think they're in alleys. Comedy Cellar kind of is.

It's in a pretty rough area. I went on Friday. It was fantastic. What did you see? What history does McDougal Street have? A lot of historic, legendary artists have lived there. I almost did one on the Comedy Cellar, but then I wanted to do a Staten Island Ferry. What about Minetta Tavern?

I don't know. Good-ass French onion soup. Yeah, they have really good French onion soup. Anything that has a Wikipedia page, you should be able to. A lot of old Hollywood. I just stayed at the Hotel Chelsea this past weekend. You did. I saw a guy who lives in Hotel Chelsea on TikTok.

Really? Yeah, he lives there. Oh, wait. I saw him too. Yeah, he's had it for a while. He had the most crazy cool apartment, and I guess it's rent stabilized, too. Oh, okay. He only pays like $300.

It was eccentric. Very eccentric. Very eccentric. Colorful. I feel like if I lived in an apartment like that, I would get schizophrenia. I don't know. I wouldn't. I don't think that's how it works.

I don't think you just get it Well maybe I would develop it Due to the constant Looking at hypnotizing Eccentric Decorations Or you could even just pretend that you had it You'd probably get like a headache Yeah Sass I probably would get a headache

That's probably worst case scenario Which is worse I think maybe I could get dizzy from it as well And maybe it would make me nauseous. Then I'd develop schizophrenia. I've read horror stories about late onset schizophrenia.

Terrible. But it's usually if you have a family history of it. Do you have to work with schizophrenic kids? Hell no. I don't think there's any kids. Do children have schizophrenics? Yeah. He just gave me kids

who had language delays. My mom would have to work with schizophrenic kids. Yeah, I couldn't do that. That would be fucked up if I had to do that. I thought it didn't come out until your early 20s.

You're right around that point. No. I won't get it. No one in my family has it. What, did your mom have to work with them? Yeah. What did she tell you about them?

Bad news. You know what? I did. But it was just their parents had it, and they were at risk of it. They didn't get a diagnosis. That's horrible, man. I feel like it's hard if your kid has schizophrenia, because if you are like, I'm hearing things, I'm seeing things.

They're like, oh, you just have an imaginary friend. It's kind of like- That'd be the best time to have it, then. Well- Yeah, there's not judgment on it. I don't think you can grow out of schizophrenia. It's more than just hallucinations. And then the rest of your life is paranoia.

I don't understand anything about it. Can it be medicated? Yes. You can take anti-psychotics. Okay. It's not one of those things where it's curable. No. I think you can live.

But I think that a lot of things like drinking make it significantly worse, especially on those drugs. Yes. I feel like any anti-anxiety, anti-depressant, anti-psychotic, you just really have to be careful drinking on them. Facts. Facts. Is that true?

Oh, no. No, maybe for like the first week yeah yeah no and you adjust to it and then you can drink however much you want really I feel like

my hangovers are always so much worse now when I drink on my how long have you been taking it not that long three months like or five months

yeah five months yeah she knows better than I do because you started you started around like Valentine's, I want to say. Yeah, you're right. I remember. It's a depressing time.

I, like, stopped taking Zoloft for a while, and then I started because I just didn't stop. I stopped because I didn't refill my prescription in time. I just stopped for, like, two weeks, and then I took it once, and then I went to the stand, and I had one drink, and I didn't think I was going to be able to go on stage because I was so drunk. Yeah. Whoa. Wow.

Do you get the brain zaps when you don't take it? No. That's why I didn't take it because there's no symptoms when I don't take it. Oh, seriously? Like, you don't get, like, my roommate takes it, and she's like, if I don't take it in two days, I feel like I got the flu. Yeah, I mean, you saw me the other day. I've had that.

I've felt like sick. Cold showers, weight lifting. Sunshine. Yeah. Drop the meds. You sound like my mom. Your, weight lifting, sunshine. Yeah. Drop the meds. You sound like my mom. Your mom is anti-puberty. I'm becoming that.

Yeah. You just need to go outside. Yeah. Are you like an almond mom? What? No, he is low-key. What does that mean? Like take two, like a skinny, skinny white mom that weighs no more than 97 pounds.

No, I'm not like that at all. I'm the polar opposite. She's like, when I'm hungry, I eat half of a peanut butter jelly. Then I just chew it really well. Oh, no. You brought a bag full of fruit in one day. I'm big on food. No, I'm eating more calories than anyone.

It's all like peaches. Calories from peaches? No, I'm getting it in. An almond mom would be like, there's a lot of sugar in fruit. That's the shit they pull. Basically, an older woman with an eating disorder. Takes it out of her children. That's an eating disorder. She's cranky and frustrated.

And puts it on her children. Like Yolanda Hadid, Gigi and Bella's mom. Big almond mom. What's up with them? Are they getting into trouble? I didn't even know they had a mom. Gigi got in trouble. She was a real housewife. ...in the Cayman Islands.

Yeah, she was... Or no, was that Gigi? Yeah, she got arrested for marijuana. They're just having Lyme disease and modeling. Oh, man. They have Lyme? My buddy Stinky Tony, my attorney, got Lyme disease. When?

He just got it? Yeah. Oh, no. He's in the... Your buddy? In the woods? Your attorney? Stinky Tony, my attorney, and also my buddy.

That's nice. He's a great fantasy football guy. Is he stinky? No, no, no. Oh. It's a shame. He's in the woods of Dublin getting Lyme disease. He's Irish?

No, Dublin, Ohio. Oh. I had Lyme disease when I was really young. So did my dad. You can't get it twice, can you? But it doesn't leave you. No, it's always in you. Yeah.

That's why you can't get it twice. But it's still, like, in you? Yes. I had it when I was really young. My dad got Lyme disease and, like, mountain rocky fever in you. Yeah. That's why you can't get it twice. It's still like in you? Yes. I had it when I was really young. My dad got Lyme disease and like mountain rocky fever at the same time. Yikes. Yeah. From two different ticks?

Damn, those ticks were feasting on him. I think the same tick. I think it was just like a super tick. In Martha's Vineyard, yeah. Have you ever like noticed you had a tick weirdly? Yeah. Yeah. Like have you ever found one in a weird place?

On my leg. Yeah, that's not that weird at all. I was in school. His leg. I was in the classroom. My leg in a weird place? On my leg. Yeah, that's not that weird at all. I was in school. His leg. I was in the classroom. My leg is pretty weird. That's an average. I had one in my ear.

Oh, my God. Like, right on the inside. I was looking in the mirror, and I just saw it on my ear. I had one in the back of my... I've never had one. Aren't those ones you have to, like, put the light to? No, you can just take a tweezer and... As long as the head's not, like...

Yeah, you gotta pop them. I just ripped it off. Artis Vineyard is like... You can get like the worst diseases. I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theory guy, but is it proven that Lyme disease was man-made? Is it? I don't know. Yeah, Ronald Reagan gave it up.

Yeah, he put it in Connecticut from the old Lyme, Connecticut. I don't know if it is or not I've read a headline I was like uh I have to go record I have to go make magic

look I will miss you this is my last time going to be in the New York oh my god bye now fuck

I'll see you guys in Chicago right I'll be seeing you two in the morning I'll be in the fucking booth fair enough what about Clemmer I'll be seeing you two in the morning. I'll be in the fucking booth. Fair enough.

What about Clemmer? I'll be seeing you. Hopefully we play each other on the dozen. Hopefully I win the play-in tournament and then hopefully I'll play you guys in the dozen. All right. Last time. Give him like 30 more seconds.

You'll see him again. Isn't he your sleep paralysis human? There's a few. I help out a few people. You're a good guy guy He's the hat man You're the hat man Outside your window You know

It's an important job You know You're bitching at me About you know Do more I have a lot of things Going on You have to bounce

To a lot of bedrooms He's like Monsters Inc He has to fill up The scare jar Jenga Oh my god I thought a literal Who would No Just to fill up. The scare jar. Jenga. Oh, my God. I thought a literal.

Who would. No. Up and wait. She doesn't even know the twist. That reaction was just so necessary. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's breaking the rules. She knocked it over. You knock it over.

You pick it up. You pick it up. Okay, I have to go. I love you guys. I love the yak. You have a great voice for PSA. Love you, Clemmer. Yeah.

Oh, look what you've done. Madeline is the best and we love her. Oh, those listeners just heard the kiss. Oh. Best friends. Clawing at the side of their cubes. Are you going to cry when she moves? Oh, my God.

I've already cried like this whole week. It's sad when the people leave and stuff. She is the person I spend all of my time with in the office. Your personal friends are people you should be devoting tears, sacrificing tears for. Do you cry at celebrities or anything like that? Yeah, of course. I cry at everything. When was the last time you cried?

Like celebrity death? Is that what you're asking, KB? Celebrity anything. I cried everything. When was the last time you cried? Celebrity death? Celebrity anything. Tony Bennett when Tony Bennett died? I cried last night. Give me an example of why. Listening to a song. I'm not saying it's a sad song or a pop song. Night Changes by One Direction?

Yeah, I was listening to the new Nile Horn. What song was it um oh my god it's a taylor so song taylor so song called you are in love and it's this really beautiful love song and i was like damn gay yeah you're gay okay this is why i didn't want to say it you cry more as you get older. If you're just warning the guys. I was watching Karate Kid last night and I started beginning to cry. And I've been watching the movie my whole life and I never had that emotion before.

Karate Kid? Yeah. I feel like you probably cry less. Crying feels amazing. I cry when my eyes are starting to get damp. I love crying. I haven't cried in three years. No, when I was your age, I didn to get damp. And I'm like, oh my God. I love crying. I haven't cried in five. I haven't cried in like three years. You cry?

No, when I was your age, I didn't cry either. For like years. Like a seven-year stretch. Men have a seven-year stretch of no crying. And then sigh. Is it nostalgia or what? Remember? No, no.

I think you just get older. There must be a testosterone. Was yours a sad cry or like a joyous? Or just you were feeling so much? I'm feeling so much. Like I was like, I was. Yeah. Was it the scene where he's getting beat up like a joyous or just you were feeling so much? I'm feeling so much. Like I was like, I was, yeah. Was it the scene where he's getting beat up

by the motorcycle guys? Oh no, it's just with him and Miyagi, like the friendship they have. I was just like, oh wow, there's a lot going on here. I think that's a loss

of testosterone. I cry more in my 40s than in my 30s. I think it has to be. It sounds like you've been eating too much edamame. Yeah, that's what it is.

A lot of my friends are the same thing. Like when we kind of, you know, commiserate and like,ame. Yeah, that's what it is. A lot of my friends have the same thing. Like, when we kind of, you know, commiserate. And, like, since turning 40, like, we just cry easier. I know, like, older men cry a lot. My dad cries at every moment. I'm just crying, boys. We're all just crying.

No, I think it's a normal thing. I think it's popular. I know I cry more in my 30s than my 20s, too. Is it movies, typically, for you? Sounds like you're all with a pack of pussies. Yeah, your boys are pussies. We used to be badass. We never cried, but now we're all just weeping away.

Suppressing tears is like... The manliest thing you can do. Yeah. Bottle it up until one day. Bottle that shit up until one day you snap. All comes crashing down. You go to the Barbie movie. Cause a goddamn scene.

Yeah. You're AK Oh my god Jesus Rowan do we Do we buy our socks From the same places Probably

I think so You guys have cool socks Sad I think we have the same sock But the plug Yeah we do Who's your plug Are you gonna gatekeep

One problem Rowan's socks Are a little better on Nick Right now though Fuck Yeah, we do. Who's your plug? Are you going to gatekeep? One problem? Rome socks would look better on Nick right now, though. Fuck. They do match. I think we're out of that phase of too matchy. I like matching my outfits. That was the swag era.

Yeah. I knew a kid that always used to match his hats with his shoes. Floridians will, I guess, match what they hold in their hands. Yep. Their drinks always match their hats. Or shoelaces. That's too much. We got for Prime, though. Prime is great for...

Oh, yeah. Dude, I was at... I went to... Prime is like a... It's huge right now for kids. Oh, yeah. You guys know the Crazy Boys? The Crazy Boys? Yeah, you know the Crazy Boys on, yeah. You guys know the Crazy Boys? The Crazy Boys?

Yeah, you know the Crazy Boys on Instagram? I don't know the Crazy Boys. TJ, quickly. I love the Crazy Boys. We'd like to see the Crazy Boys. I tried to look this up last week. I will try. I know who he's talking about.

They're crazy as fuck. There's a four as one of the A's. I think it's probably the A. Is it C, crazy, or K, crazy? C, it's the A's. I think it's, yeah, probably the A. Is it C crazy or K crazy? C, it's the crazy boy. It's either the O or the A is a four. Hey, bro, what are you talking about? The crazy boys, the crazy boys, they love Prime.

Oh. Yeah, that's, wait, how many followers do they have? I'm calling crazy boys, and today I'll be showing you five. Oh, they're really hitting. Comment which one's nastier. Can we find the crazy neighbor after this? Because he's the man. That was pretty nasty.

This is great. And that's crazy ginger. Wait, sorry, Sass. Did you say how you found these people? They're like ASAP or fake. They come up on my Instagram. Holy shit, Crazy Boys. I brought them up a while ago, I think.

They do a lot of prime flipper bottles. How did you find them? Oh, wait, that's Crazy Neighbor. Go up. That's Crazy Neighbor. He's the best. No, to the right. Talking about the Crazy Boys right now, Vince.

What's up, guys? It's Crazy Boys. Somebody come in the other day and told me to dunk over the Crazy Neighbors, so we're doing that today. You ready? Let's go. Crazy Neighbor does not want to be in any of these. Oh, cool.

Wow. On his head. But anyways, they're really into Prime. Yeah, they're really into Prime. Is that Crazy Neighbor? That's Crazy Neighbor. Crazy Boy's Neighbor. Today we will be flipping all of these bottles.

You don't have to. Okay, he got it. Jeffsky's in the comments. What? Shout out to Crazy Neighbor. Shout out to Crazy Neighbor. How'd you guys hear about this kid just shows off? They're crazy, bro.

Where are they from? I love Crazy Neighbor is getting more comfortable behind the camera. Look at him. Crazy Neighbor just does not like the cameras. He's not in it for the fame. He's not in it for the fame. He's more in it for the craft. Where do these guys live? I don't know.

It's got to be like Kentucky or something. Plumber, I want you to collab with these guys. That has 18,000 likes. With the crazy boys. Hello, Wiffle Ball. Crazy boys. What's up, guys? We're the crazy boys.

Today we're here with the crazy neighbor. Who calls himself the boys? Yeah. There's Crazy Ginger, and We're the Crazy Boys. Today we're here with the crazy neighbor. Who calls himself the boys? Yeah. There's Crazy Ginger, and that must be Crazy Boys. Greer like this one. Greer. Hey, rise up. Go.

I like how there's a massive hole in the backboard. Yeah. The only place where you actually need the backboard. Looks like they're maybe in Kentucky. It's the worst backboard in the world. They should start a GoFundMe to get a new hoop. I bet they could. Big Cat follows them.

Wait, they have highlights and fake? The thing is, they don't ever do any fishing fun. What's fake? Highlights and fake. Oh, they have a fake account. Someone's crazy underscore boys underscore hater. Oh no. So shitty.

Come on. What are we doing. That's what they need to learn. The game is the game. Yeah. That's awful. Basketball trick shots.

Thank you. Fishing fun. Other hilarious and funny videos. They got to take fishing fun. They do. They've never posted

any fishing. See if they want the bag. Thank you. Do you think that they want the bag? Like, we could probably put them in at an entry level. I feel like they're, like, perfectly. Is that 100K?

Yeah, I think they're tailored for 100K. 100K each. Crazy neighbor gets 100K. Maybe a little bit more for him because he doesn't want to be on camera. Yeah. He'd be tough to negotiate with. They would be culture. Oh, 100%.

Yeah. Crazy neighbor is going to want with. They would be culture. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Crazy neighbor's going to want to be the biggest of all of them. They're huge, yeah. They've been popping off, though. I saw them when they had, like, no followers. I've also been really big on this. Have you guys seen? This has been my shit recently.

Hey, bro, you don't have, like, your younger siblings aren't that young anymore. No. You don't really have an excuse anymore. For what? To fuck with the crazy boys? Yeah. I'm a fan. I can fuck with whoever I want.

You're loud. Finding them, though. You guys know the Alpha Gang on TikTok? The Alpha Gang? Yeah, they're like the Alpha, the Beta, and the... And the Beta's... Santa Maria? What's the...

What you guys really got to get in on is Go Cap Advance. Jesus Christ. Man, I'm trying my best get in on is Go Cap Advance. Jesus Christ. Man, I'm trying my best to keep up. Go Cap Advance is the shit. It's the shit. All right, break us off. Let's do one at a time. It's a financial brokerage firm, and they make videos,

and they have all these characters, Rocky, Legal Richie, Big Kahuna Kyle, Snowden. Is Legal Richie a big kahuna Kyle? Rockyden. Is Legal Richie a fan of Kyle? Rocky's the best. Rocky's the fan favorite by a mile. And then they have Nice Guy Brian. Can we pull them up? These guys are the best.

So here, go to Rocky. Rocky's the best. Rocky's the fan favorite. Oh, it's Rocky? Hey, favorite, Rocky, get up there. You're funded. Let's go. Yes, Rocky.

Oh, he's humble. Oh, he's not humble. Oh. Rocky's a up there. You're funded. Let's go. Yes, Rocky. Oh, he's humble. Oh, he's not humble. Oh. Rocky's back, baby. Rocky's a show-off. He's got the shirt unbuttoned. What's he doing? You can tell he's not humble by how many buttons he has unbuttoned.

Oh. Oh. Rocky. That's how you have to read that top line. Why is there air conditioning? That's a fan favorite. Rocky, get up there. Rocky's the best. Here, watch. Yeah, he seems like it. Likeable John. offline. Why is there air conditioning? Rocky's the best.

Here, watch him. He seems like it. Likeable John. Wait, nice guy Brian. Nice guy Brian. He's kind of a dog. Who funded? Who funded? Anderson, you're funded again.

Can I ask what funded means? I don't have a clue. No idea. Do we see anyone get defunded? Give out funds. Oh, thanks, Sass. That fucking boy is taking no prisoners. Do we see anyone get defunded? Give out funds. Thanks, Sass. Brian. That fucking boy is taking no prisoners.

Make some noise for nice guys. Who's on the camera? I don't think anyone knows. Wow. Go to that real blurry one. Alimony Gang. This is a... Oh, it's fucking Brian again. Brian went on a little bit of a run for a while.

Rocky, honestly, he takes the cake. Brian is an absolute spruce fest. They're not wrong. Can we find one more? What else do they do, Sass? Can we find one more Rocky? Is there hijinks? No, this is just it. What else do they do, Sass? Can we find one more Rocky? Is there hijinks?

Likeable John? No, this is just it. This is it. That's all they do? Likeable John might be the worst. How did these guys gain track of him? When you get in, when you're a big follower and you see Rocky on the... We got a Sass comment.

Yeah, there he is. People's people. The favorite! Oh, he's got a banana gun! Yeah! Punch him! All right, I get it, I get it. I like Rocky's people. The favorite! Oh, he's got a banana gun! He punched it! Alright, I get it, I get it. I like Rocky's vibes.

Nice guy Brian. It's like Brian Cranston down in his walk. When you see all these people and you're always just holding out, you're waiting for Rocky to get fond. And then you get one and it makes your entire day. Let me see more Rocky. Nice guy Brian is good for this. He accentuates Rocky. He's the moose boosh.

If everybody was like Rocky, then there would be no Rocky. No, exactly. Those two minutes look fun, but the other eight hours and 58 minutes in that office must be dreadful. I'd imagine it's way more, but they have a big gong. That's true, I guess. Nice Guy Brian's the tech. I'm going to have a big gong in the Chicago office. All energy Lopez.

Low energy Lopez. Low energy Lopez. Low energy Lopez. The comments are hilarious. Feels good to see low energy Lopez get a couple wins after the accident. Thoughts and prayers to his family and friends. He's extremely sick. Great job. Yeah, he does have low... Shut up.

It kind of reminds me of when they would dance at Johnny Rockets. Every 15 minutes, they would start dancing. Do they go up on the countertop? Yeah. So then with these people, every hour or something, they go up and bang the gong. I don't know what funded means. Their manager is good, though. No matter what, he is making it interesting, fun, and interactive to work there in some ways.

There's probably someone in the office that has social anxiety that's like, oh my god, it's the worst part of my day. But that shit is good and interesting. They're also definitely doing something illegal. Of course. 100%. Funded means a child just got sold. So I worked in an office like this, and we did this. Of course. 100%. Funded means a child just got sold. Yeah. So I worked in an office like this, and we did this.

Not only putting it on social media, but when you make a sale, you hit a gun. So what they're doing... You definitely came out like The Rock. Yeah, you definitely were like head-diving. Okay. Was it... How many... You ringing a gong? Are you sure they weren't bullying you, man?

Everyone else got a commission. The gong was smaller, but it was very loud. Did your last job have bongos, man? Oh, everybody did it. It used. It's not. Your last job at Bongo's, man. Oh, everybody did it. It used to make me fast. So when you make a sale or whatever, you hit the guy. But everyone else is still working

because you're on sales calls and it's actually the exact same desk setup. So it's actually surprising to see everyone kind of off their phones. But the funded would be a sale or whatever. If they're raising money for a charity or whatever that's what it would be but you're calling people to solicit money for them for a service or a good okay and then once that's sold it gets put in the system official then that guy gets to go put in the gong so shouldn't that happen way more often it should yes i mean i don't know what this is, like $150K, $50K. The hell?

That's the kid that works at our office. Rocky! The shoes and the sneakers. I love his shoes. Some people aren't too happy. I was going to say, I don't like Rocky in the office. I got the same vibe. The people around him do. The kid.

Yeah, that Wolf of Wall Street comment, that's exactly what I was thinking. They have posters of Wolf of Wall Street. There are definitely inter-office rivalries with this type of stuff because typically there's going to be a sales board. You're going to see who's first, who's second, who's third. It's very much like Monsters, Inc. if you ever watch that movie. That's our second reference to that. We'll get another one. Monsters, Inc.?

But you can see the consistent leaderboard, and you're kind of jockeying with your coworkers for positioning. Very competitive. Yeah, so if you see someone pass you, you're probably not stoked about it. The Snowden dude in that, he actually does look like Snowden. It's very weird. I can see why they named him that. I can't get enough of that.

It's great. That office setting is more chilling than a horror movie. Yeah, it's so bad. Like walking into that every day, even on your first day of going in there, it's like, whew. Everything about it. It's just like the, I didn't care if I had to, I would deliver pizzas for the rest of my life.

I couldn't do that. It's a great vibe. Couldn't do that. Clemmer, was that what your office was like? No, we weren't. I wasn't as competitive of a sales force. We each had territories. It was more collaborative.

Pretty much every place I worked. But no, I mean, it was... Were you in there? Were you in the office every day? A lot of times. I did some inside sales, some outside sales. So it varied based on which job I had. But some jobs I had, it was in the office every day.

And it's like, yeah, it's a grind, man. You know, if someone put a camera in your face and made you ring that bell. I would not be happy about that. I would just be like, oh. And like, you got to pretend like you're happy because like the boss is watching. Obviously, he's excited. But then in the meantime, he's just like, I just want to fucking do my job and go home, man. I'm not a fucking parlor trick.

What are we doing here? And so then I come here, you know. I'd be afraid of what nickname I'd get. Right, yeah. Here comes Slenderman. He got a sale. Slenderman. It's like, all right.

That would drive me insane. I would love that. Yeah. That's awesome. You go by a nickname. True. I wonder what my nickname there would be. I know I'd do bare minimum.

I would make a lot of good office connections and stuff like that and have inside jokes and linger at people's desks and just not even make a quota. I don't think a single girl works there. I think it's dudes only. No way, yeah. It's probably bad for your psyche. Dudes rock.

I think I saw a girl in one of those videos clapping. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Were you the office funny man, Ron? Never worked in an office. Okay, I wasn't. I was like the office straight man. I kind of was, too.

No, you weren't. Yeah, I was. You were gay. Oh, fuck. But I wasn't funny. Wait, you worked in an office? Oh, yeah. What'd you do?

A few things. I was a storyboard. I drew storyboards for pharmaceutical commercials. That's cool. And then I was a web designer for Ohio State University. Now we'll pull up the guy with the silhouette of a man with red. He's going to be in a bathtub. And he's going to hold hands with another woman in a bathtub.

That's actually genius. I had to lock my phone in a locker before I went into the office. I thought you meant pharmaceuticals. Sensitive? Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, wow. Nick was making Percocet commercials for the kids.

Introducing the Oxy-80. They made you cover up the recommended dose? They made me do some messed up shit. Really? Not really. Did you work do some messed up shit. Really? Not really. Did you work in an office? Yeah. I would go on call to house.

Oh, you were a speech therapist? Yeah. My job to make perks, that's more of a healing thing. Congratulations. Good job. People would call me really serious at the office. Be like, you know, Chris, you're very serious. And then, you know, we'd go out or whatever,

and be like, oh, I didn't know you were funny, or, like, were you that way, too? I was just quiet at the office. I didn't go out with people. My storyboards and went home. Were they all your age, or were they, like... They were older. Yeah, they were older.

That sounds kind of sad. That was sad. I was the youngest person in my office for like eight years. It was like a crazy long stretch where I was the youngest person. This was 70 years ago. The last time Haley's comment came around. You guys make jokes, but I want to see you guys do business work by candlelight. Yeah, right?

Your quill runs out of ink. What do you do? No laughing matter. Oh, man. That's why you're so likable, because you're such a good sport. I mean, I go home and I cry every night and punch a wall, but...

Around in the office... No. It's kind of fun being the old one, because I said I was the young one for so long. It's kind of fun being... You're friends with everybody in this office. Yeah, you are. Except for... Except for... I mean, yeah, except for so long. It's kind of fun being here. You're friends with everybody in this office. Yeah, you are. Except for...

Except for... I mean, yeah, except for bibs. There's a rivalry brewing. There is, yeah. There's only room for one skinny guy here. There's a lot of skinny guys here. No, there's plenty of room. Yeah.

Plenty. Plenty of room. You can share just anyone else's room. Speaking of, dude, did you guys see Frank leave in the stadium last night? That was awesome. That made me feel so good. Yeah, that was really awesome. Not at all surprising.

I've gone to a few Mets games with him. I went to Miami with him and back. He is so – he is swarmed. That's not a one-time thing. It happens all the time. And I'll say this for him. He says hi to every single person and never says no to a picture. He is so good

to the fans. It is wild. The hat tip got me. Yeah, the hat tip. Zoopy made this great edit. This is a police escort out, is it not? And then another cop comes and joins because it's not enough. I've seen Rudy Giuliani walking around Yankee Stadium with less security than this.

The girl in front of him is the girl that was with him. He's like, just don't walk with me. If they don't have it, though, he don't walk with me. Yeah. Paparazzo. He literally, if they don't have it though, he can't move. He won't say no and then they'll just swarm him.

Even at Devil's Games. I went to a hot dog stand in Virginia and he got swarmed. The hat. Oh, dude, I'm so happy for him. I know.

It's really, it's really such a heartwarming video. Because he's just a grinder. Yeah. He didn't ask for it. People love seeing him. Their faces light up.

They're so happy to see him. Who's filming? Thanks. It's nice because I feel like he's a bit of a polarizing character in the Mets realm or not. Yeah, he pisses some people off. I'll say, you know, a lot of it's online. When you go to the stadium with him, people are so happy.

Frank, Frank, Frank. People are happy to see him. He's so good with them. That was Jack Mack's point on Twitter. Everybody wants to shit talk him in the comments, but you can't get people away from him. Online commenting to a T. People will never, ever give you... They'll always come up to you and be super excited

and try to take a picture. Even if the picture is to talk shit in their group chat behind your back. That has to be what a lot of those go to. You're not posting this. There's no way you're going to post that. Who's this fucking pussy I ran into? I hate this guy so much. If you're not

brave enough to say it to their face, and even if you are brave enough to say it to someone's face, you have just earned the biggest loser status. I, uh, I was in Pittsburgh and this dude asked for a photo and we took it and then he just tweeted at, he tagged me and he was like,

Nick told me he's gay. What the fuck? That's funny. Why did you tell him that? That's hilarious. He probably said it in like behavior or action. What's up man? I'm gay.

I mean, Nick. I should have said that. Fuck. Damn it in, like, behavior or action. What's up, man? I'm gay. I mean, Nick. I should have said that. Fuck. Damn it. Trying to keep this under wraps. I need to find that tweet. I think I liked it. I thought it was funny.

Well, John Rich did. He saw you guys and, like, inspired him to, like, work here. He was a fan beforehand, but yeah. Oh, but, like, him seeing you guys, he said it. He's like, oh, they're not that. Yeah. Oh, anyone can do that. Oh, wait. It's easy. I thought it was. Yeah, they're not that yeah oh anyone anyone could do that oh wait it's easy yeah they're just regular normal guys we talked about high noon yet our second out of the day

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Whose laptop is this? High Noon. That's the Radio Calls laptop. Yeah. Feeling it? Look at that face. Fuck.

Yeah. How's Pick Central been going? Good. Good. You like doing it? I do. I do like doing it, yeah. Is that one of our

more argumentative shows? I feel like there's healthy arguments going on in that show. I think it's fun to debate sports. Is Brandon on it still? No, Brandon's on vacation. Yeah. He made more work for everyone. Brandon's gone.

Brandon left my show. He left Pick Central. Brandon's gone. We lost him. Double play's gotten better, though. Our episode came out today. Yes! Nick and I's episode was fantastic.

People seemed to like it a lot. Thank you for coming on. Lemur, can I come on? Of course. Yay. We had Rico on Plan B today. No way. Mm-hmm.

How'd that go? It was interesting. He gave some life advice, five minutes of life advice at the end of the episode. He does. He'll have it. Whose idea was that? He was a very large topic of conversation on Tuesday's episode for some reason. What about him?

I don't really know why. That's your two episodes a week? Yeah. Oh, wow. He got brought up because I think we were talking about either The Office or something, and then he was a topic of conversation throughout the whole thing, and then we said that we would get him on for the next episode. What's the perspective on the show about Rico?

I don't think people know who he is in our fan base. I'm saying among the people who do the show. So Brie Grace and I? Yeah. I would say we all like Rico. Interesting. He's a polarizing figure, I would say. But he's been nothing but nice to me.

So I don't have anything against him, really. Yeah. And we find him a funny character. Yeah. He's a funny guy. One of his advice was like, take advantage of your college years. Like, don't forget about college. I just thought that was funny.

That is. That sounds like good advice. Yeah, I know. I just thought it was. Because you're out of college? I don't know. That was his first thing that came to his mind was college. I don't think I took advantage of my college years.

You don't think? Yeah. What would you have done differently? I probably would have socialized more. I think I was kind of a shut-in. Oh, really? Yeah. I had a blast in college.

Me too. I know you did the same. Oh, yeah. Most. Brother. Did you do the most? Of course. I feel like everyone's always like you.

You didn't have a traditional campus lifestyle, did you? The whole city of Indianapolis was our campus. You went to Indiana... I went to Ui Pui, I-U-P-U-I, but now it's breaking up, and it's just I-U Indianapolis, and it's not as fun to say. Which changes everything.

That is the weirdest name of a school. What is it? They had two rivals collabed? Two rivals collabed. It's like the Bloods and the Crips. At a satellite campus? Yeah. Pooey, pooey.

Awesome, yeah. It's hilarious. It's kind of a slur only we can say. You guys have house parties? There were house parties, but it was mainly just going out to bars. Just go to St. Elmo. Yeah, get the shrimp cocktail or whatever. Joey Chestnut ate like 11 pounds of shrimp in the shrimp cocktail one time.

Really? For the Big Ten Championship. Yeah. There's always stuff like that going on. Yeah. At the Big Ten Championship in town, you could go check that out. Joey Chestnut ate 11 pounds of shrimp. I did an escape room in Indianapolis.

I wasn't. It was incredible. I entered in this space themed and I was like enter this keypad. A door opened up and there was a real person, an employee playing a dead body and I had to take their space suit off to find hints.

Was it like a Barbie? Nipple-less? No, no. Huge nipples. Mostly nipples. There was No, no, no. Huge nipples. Mostly nipples. Yeah. Damn. No, there was like, they were wearing like clothes underneath the suit. Did you escape?

He wasn't wearing any clothes? No, he was. He was. Escape rooms are so hard. I've never done one. They're too hard. I've never escaped one. Really?

Never. I feel like I would get too frustrated. I got through one by like one second. The one Beat the Bomb in Brooklyn. It's pretty fucking easy. Are you going with a large group of people? It was a group. It was a,

I didn't do it the first time with six or five people, but the second time I did it with four people. It was, but you needed every one of these brains

and these were good brains that I went with. My wife loves doing them, so I've been to a bunch of them. Have you escaped? What's your success rate? 75%. Wow.

Like, honestly, we don't go just... You can't sit there with your wife. You'll do anything to get out. It's just the two of us. We don't do well. You have to have like a big... That's why I asked how many people were in there.

Two more cerebral binds. You need more... I think it helps to have like five. That's a good point. Who was the alpha? Who was like taking charge, making the decisions? Well, you do so many puzzles, everyone's kind of doing their own thing. Okay.

Can you do it solo? Are there any snobs who need to do it solo? If you can, you're fucking genius. No, because a lot of the times it's like you're working this machine and someone has to be giving it. Oh, yeah.

Sometimes I've done some like you have to have an electrical current so you need multiple people to get the current going. Wow, that's like advanced. Yeah, it's nuts. Who's the best in the world?

Like Korean kids? Gotta be. I don't know. We did one as a family. Korean moms probably or like any type of tiger mom. You did a family one? We did one as a family and that's Argument City. Oh, type of tiger mom. You did a family one? We did one as a family.

That's argument city. Oh, God. I can't imagine doing one as a family. Oh, my God. I would... When the Vibberts get together. I would just be annoyed at my parents, I think. Group of Vibberts.

No, they all just kind of lay down. No one wants to take leadership. No, my cousin was in the group, and he was like 10. And we skipped like six steps, because he just picked a lock on his own. He's like, ah. Oh, he could just pick a lock? I was like, what he we skipped like six steps because he just picked a lock on his own he's like oh we could just it's like what the fuck you don't know you just you just kind of and jiggled it and got it and it was like wow fuck oh yeah we skipped yeah a bunch i know your grandpa was talking cults oh brother you don't want to get him started i need more videos from

him this year yeah oh he's so he's 93 now i just went home and visited him his new thing that he's... So he's 93 now. I just went home and visited him. His new thing that he's doing is he just... He'll open two bottles of wine and just mix them. Whoa. No matter what it is. That's a cool thing. It's really cool. Yeah, that's awesome. Aren't there a lot of wines that are blended anyway

that are already mixtures? He likes the experimental part of it. I think so. The potion mixing. Yeah. It sounds like a sangria. Does he drink it too? Yeah, no, he's not just doing it for fun. Does he mix his whites with reds?

Yeah, doesn't matter. He'll mix it red and red or white and red. I imagine 93, you're so bored of white. That's what I was thinking too. At this point in life, you might as well try anything new that you can try. He drinks beer, whiskey, but he's on wine lately. I've never seen him drink wine. But when I got there, he's like, you want a beer? And I was like, sure. And then he just, like, started doing his wine thing. And I was like, well, I kind of want to get on the wine thing. But do you put two in the same glass, or does he pour them into, like, a pitcher and then start serving them?

He's got two separate bottles. Cancer, yeah. He's got two separate bottles, and he just takes one bottle, pours it in the wine glass, takes the other bottle, pours it in the wine glass. Yeah, this isn't like a chemistry experiment where he's like, I'm going to make the perfect mixture.

Like you go to the movies, you get the red and the blue slushie. You go to like this self-serve soft drink thing. You could make some root beer with a Coke or whatever or with Sprite. I think that there's precedent for mixing flavors. Arnold Palmer did a drink. You separate reds and whites in laundry.

And who knows? Maybe he could mix. May I ask how often does he drink? Well, no, this is good. He's 93. He's 93. For the alcoholics. I'm pretty sure he drinks probably every night now.

Yeah. He stopped drinking because he'd get a little angry. And my grandma kept him in check. But did she drink? She checked out. He can just do whatever he wants now. Yeah. And this is the grandpa where I've told the infamous story that when my grandma died, he's living on his own.

And to save money, he was having back problems walking around. And finally, we figured out he was painting his shoes to save money. He was painting them white. That's snow. was very don't all it's not a money thing that's cool i butchered it but yeah no he he was just like walking around like wait a second what's up with those shoes and you realize it's just got layers of you try to cover them up does it look very obvious it was i want to buy him shoes so bad. That's not the point. No, he's fine with money. He doesn't want to throw back to the Depression.

He just likes to do that. He just likes to do anything to save money. I'm not going to lie. I kind of want to paint my shoes now. What to? You're of the age. Yeah, right. You're not that far apart.

I want to mix random drinks. I want to paint my shoes. Your grandfather sounds awesome. Yeah, he sounds like a cool guy. He watches the Hallmark Channel every night. Wow, so he's soft. He's on his sensitive side. I don't like those movies with shooting and violence in them.

What? Is that in like a tough way? Yeah. He was in the Navy. He got like an award for being like a sharpshooter or whatever, but then he decided to be a barber. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.

Oh, he's lived a life. He cut Chris Mullen's hair one time, former pacer, and I was like, wow, you cut Chris Mullen's hair? That's so cool. He's like, I cut the captain of my ship's hair.

That's cooler. No, it's not. That's so funny. The captain of your ship doesn't have a sick three... Imagine how excited he was to cut the captain of the ship's hair. Oh my God, yes.

Oh, this is the big day. Yeah, he sat down in his chair. Oh, wow, wow. He doesn't cry. I know he doesn't cry. You're talking about people getting older and testosterone. He's not crying.

Your grandpa? I've never seen him cry. See? Whatever. That's my argument here. When I moved to New York, I call him all the time, but I was calling him,

and I was feeling sad I was homesick and I was like you know what I'm going to say I love you to my grandpa and I was like hey grandpa

I love you and he goes what? I love you I'll send help he goes okay bye

okay now man's never alright he is a caring man he does care but he's never said I love you. You've never seen him cry. Even when my grandma died, I didn't even cry. Really?

That's cool. That's hilarious. I knew that he was a GOAT just from that one little video that you put out of him just talking Colts. Who was the Colts quarterback that they drafted last year that they had? Richardson? No, no. They got Richardson now. He's from...

What is it? Matt Ryan didn't pan out and they threw him in. But anyways... Where did he go? Texas? Ellinger? Yes. Sam Ellinger.

Sam Ellinger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Sam Ellinger's first game, I believe. And I was like, how do you think this is going to play out? What? How do you think it's going to play out? What? How do you think it's going to play out? Fine. At what age would you start drinking every day?

Glimmer, you were like 30. Take the under. Yeah. But I think at a certain age, just drink every day. Yeah. Queen did it. I have like one or two at night, every night before I go to bed. They used to say that that was like a glass of wine at night was healthy.

And then they were like, that's actually not true. What are they saying now? It's like three to four drinks a week or something like that? Oh, man. That can be disproven. And if you want to talk about alcohol, you can just say any amount is bad. Yeah. Yeah.

It's poison. I don't think I've ever had three to four drinks a week. Oh, yeah. Like Huberman's like Two every two weeks Yeah That's not drinking What's even the point

Yeah No it's like I'll have like one At night Sometimes I won't even finish it It just helps me just get A little bit more Ready to go to sleep

Sometimes I won't even finish the can It helps you not sweat What's the percentage Of alcohol in the can It's gotta be low Five Six There's one can of Everclear.

It's like between four and six. It's the same as a beer, I think. Are you Nick? Gluten free. He's a cider boy now. Oh, do you like him? Cider boy. Angry Orchard? I wasn't saying shit. Three beers is the best.

There's no greater feeling in the world than three beers. What a rush. Oh no, like ten shots. No, that's too much. Three beers is the best. There's no greater feeling in the world than three beers. What a rush. That's the magic number. Oh, no, like ten shots. No, that's too much. I feel like if I'm having three, then I'm going to have more. I would feel like super way. That's the problem.

No one can stop. Three feels so good, you're like, oh, let's have another. Three beers at dinner, you're laughing, you go home, you're good. No, it's the earlier the better. You start at like ten, and they have three beers. And you're walking around the city. Yeah. Just fall asleep.

I gotta go to sleep at like 2 o'clock, wake up at 5, all groggy and weird. If I'm going to three, then I need to go more. But I feel like two beers is like, I'll just have like two beers. But if I'm going three, then I'm having like six. Absolutely. Six beers rocks, too. Yeah, six. I feel like six is magic.

20 beers. 20 beers. I like like four beers at like 1.30 right before you go on the yak. Oh, six. I feel like six is magic. 20 beers. I like four beers at 1.30 right before you go on the yak. Oh, yeah. I used to do that. Oh, yeah. 20 beers, five lines. Perfect.

Is a case race 30 beers between two of you guys? No, it's 24. Between three. Oh, three? We dialed it back and dialed it back and dialed it back. We've got to do another one of those. I would love to try. But I would love to try that with my friends and see if we could do it.

I did 20. I told you this about when I went home for my sister's graduation. I had 20 beers. Yeah. It was a problem. My parents were so mad. Were you blacked out? No.

I think that was the bigger issue. The bad part was how normal I was acting. I was doing a Rubik's Cube. Yeah. I was like sitting there. We were just like watching TV. And then my mom woke up and I didn't clamp any of the cans. And she was like, did you have people over last night?

And I was like, no. And then I stopped drinking for like two weeks after that. You should have lied to your mom. I know. Well, I was more because she just came and she was like, do you have people over last night? And I was like, what? No. And then there's an elephant graveyard of Yeah. Yeah, what's your politics? That's a bigger question

Think the most beers I've ever had was 15 I adds up when you drink when you start doing your day drinking it adds up Yeah, totally way more than you'd expect football tailgategate, you're having 20 in a day. Yeah. Crazy. If you're not counting tall boys, tall boys also. Tall boys get a little bit too warm, though. I know. I always find myself wanting to get another one while I already have my tall boys.

Yeah, I never finish. I never finish. It's cold. I hate the last few sips. Yeah, totally. That's what I do at the end of a night. When I don't really feel like drinking anymore, I notice that I'll open up a beer,

and I'll have three sips of it, and then I'll be like, oh, this is warm. It's gross. Then I'll just open up another brand new beer, and then I wake up, and I'm just cleaning up full beers. Yeah, I know.

I have that trait too. I leave the last maybe five sips left of every beer I drink, and then when I'm cleaning up after myself, I just have to dump them out. Yeah. But I feel like everybody does that. Like when I have games and stuff, all I'm doing is just dumping out. Girls do that. Fucking chicks.

Not me and my boys. No dead soldiers at our party. Yeah. No. Yeah. Typical women. A mistake that I've often made is like bringing a drink up to the hotel room. Yeah.

Like I'm going to drink it. Just get one more. Bring it up to the hotel room yeah like i'm gonna drink just get one more bring it up to the room it's like i never finished that oh no one ever have i don't even open it i never even open it yeah i'll like go out and like buy a beer yeah like a seven like i'll just drink this in bed yeah one sip of it and it's like doesn't even work to be lying down and you get in bed and you fall asleep instantly yeah but then sometimes if you stay at the hotel multiple nights, they'll leave the drink.

You're going to finish it the next day. Oh, yeah. They'll make your bed and leave the drink. I always buy a six-pack or a 12-pack, but I always end up going to the pregame late, so I am permanently spending my money on six-packs and 12-packs, and then I only have three of the beers. So I'm just giving people free beer all the time. I love giving away, though. Yeah, I mean, I have no problem beers so I'm just giving people free beer like all the time yeah I mean I have no problem but I'm just like

damn another six pack I just left you ever take try to take the beer back with you like put it oh no I oh nope this is mine I brought it oh I don't do that no I can't because like we're going to the bar so it's like I'm not gonna like go back to my apartment drop off my beer it's it's yours now you've done that befores? I probably did in college. When you're just like, fuck, I don't know how I'm going to get more alcohol. No one's going to drink this? So you're just like,

I've got to take a bag with me. You have a bag, like one of those drawstring bags on your back. Those bags were the worst. I've never had a fake ID. Me either. You've never had a fake ID? No.

Well, I was 5'8". I was like 4'. So I was really, really tall. So my freshman year, I always looked really old old so i was like the first one of my friends that to get a fake id yeah that's the thing though but i bet you didn't look no no i didn't think you look old and then like i remember you're young you think tall is old yes totally found a picture of me and my friends and we went out and we had like fake ids and this is when we were in high school we were like juniors in high school we were buying i have a picture of my buddy leaving the liquor store

holding two 30-packs of Bud Light. And you look like you're nine. I was like, dude, he looks like he's 12 years old. The fact that anyone even considered selling it to him is insane. Yeah, especially in a town in New Jersey. You know that these people are not scumbag. I don't really know how to describe it, but they're selling to a 15-year-old of beast like yeah yeah that's why i don't feel bad

about bus i'm from indiana but i'm going to this local grocery store yeah yeah i remember going i remember we went to a liquor store in like the town next to us and we bought we bought like we bought like enough that was where my fake ID was from, Indiana. I was like, I'm going to put it on the fucking, the rolling thing and like load it into my car. And then there's just like six more dudes in my car and we're all like 17. Yeah. I was like, how does this, I look back and I'm like, how does that guy not have a problem with this? Yeah. I have a legitimate Indiana license and they think it's a fake.

I mean, I look young anyways, but. Oh, I get denied from bars low-key often. And mine's vertical still, too. So I get denied from bars. I got denied from like three bars in Fidei. Or not Fidei, but like Seaport area. How'd you handle that? Not well.

Yeah. Oh, I was pissed as fuck. Yeah, I would be too. I'd raise hell. Oh, yeah, I was like yelling and screaming and cursing. What'd they say? They were like, it's a liability like we can't like

have we can't tell if it's real or not because we don't accept like we don't even accept vertical IDs in the first place and like let alone we can't tell if it's real or not I'm like it fucking scans

like it's a real ID you can call the police and then they're like oh you call the police and I'm like I'm not gonna call the police they called your bluff I'm yeah

then you realize that they and I'm not gonna be that girl that makes them call the fucking police so I can get into a bar. I'm just going to go somewhere else. I turned 21. I was in Denver. And the first place I went to, they wouldn't sell me alcohol. It was a vertical ID. Oh, wow.

And I was like, it's my birthday, if that helps. And they were like, it doesn't. When I went to New Orleans earlier this year, a dude was like, this ID is fake. Like, brother, I'm 35. It's kind of a compliment, though. What the fuck are you talking about? You're youthful. You don't look 35. You look younger. Are you really 35,

Rome? Yeah, years old. You don't look 35 at all. Fuck yeah. I feel like I say this all the time, but Barstool has completely skewed my concept of age. It's crazy. Well, I'm an all the time, but Barstool has completely skewed my concept of age. It's crazy. Well, I'm an elderly man here, and I'm 43. Yeah.

So, yes, it's very strange here. People that I think are my age are always older, and people that I think are older are always younger. I think it's just living in New York. I don't think I have... Almost all of my friends are in their mid-30s. Really? What is all that cash doing? Look at that. Good for you, Seth.

I was going to show you guys. I have two... Then I was like, I can't do this because we're on a live show. I was going to show you guys my ID. I have two real IDs. They're Vibs. They're Vibs. Yep, those are real.

And I don't know. No, they are. They sent me one, and then they sent me another one, and they destroyed the other one. And I was like, I'm just going to keep both of these. Destroy is the funniest one. I know. I know. That implies you have to go to Mount Doom.

Drop it in. Buy some dynamite. That's what Oppenheimer's about. They just want to destroy ID. I still need to see Oppenheimer. Fantastic. Not for you. I'm very excited.

Not for you. I've got to see it too. Women can't enjoy nukes. How long is it going to be in theaters for? A while. I gotta see it too. Women can't enjoy nukes? How long is it going to be in theaters for? A while. I want to see it. It's very good. I want to see it on the 70mm IMAX.

I feel like you can't really spoil Oppenheimer. Everybody's like, he's fucking people's lives. There's like trials. You can spoil some of the things the characters do. I heard if you don't see it in 70mm IMAX, you lose 25% of what they shot. There's 70mm and there's IMAX. Two separate things.

So you can just see it. There's 70mm and there's IMAX. Crowd work. Yeah, crowd work is nice. So you know. There's got to be a 70mm theater in New York, though. There's a bunch. There's a bunch of 70mms.

Lincoln Square is the only 7mm true IMAX. 70s, yeah. There's a bunch of fake IMAXs in the city. All over the country. Yeah, and Lincoln Square is the only real one in the city. LIMAX is what Jeff D. Lowe calls them. He's absolutely right. Yep.

Can't wait to watch that shit on my computer. I watched Avatar, Way of water on my computer and people know so much shit i watched it on a plane still bawled my eyes out at the ending scrolling reddit simultaneously i just read the plots of movies on wikipedia now it's become really bad oh no i know like if i see a movie on tiktok and i'm interested in what it's about i just read the oh no you gotta enjoy the art. Yeah, I don't know. I just read a description of a painting when I want to see it. Yeah.

Like, yeah, sounds right. The Night with Starry? Okay, got it. Can I have one request? Yeah. Song? Can we play one game of Sporkle? Oh, we do.

Yeah, absolutely. Cool. Would you do that right now? Love Sporkle. I gotta run, and here's what you got. I gotta get out of here, so let's do it. Shady Rays ad. Oh, the Shady Rays ad only has one line. like, here's what you got. I gotta get out of here, so let's do it. Shady Rays ad. Oh,

the Shady Rays ad only has one line. Uh, Sass, you got this. It only has one line? Seems to. What do you think the line is?

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Say the line, though. Say the... I'm not doing it. Why not? Because I don't like when you guys ask me to do it. Why? I feel like... I'll probably do it if no one asks me to.

It might be important. The sponsor. I don't know. It's not. It's not on it. You don't know. It might be on it. It's Shady Rays, baby.

There, you did it. It was a good job. It wasn't as good as when you do it, though. It's like that Bart Simpson thing where everyone's like, say the line or whatever. Say the line. I've never seen that. I'm the Joker, baby. Yeah, see?

And then I go, I don't want to say it anymore. I don't know. What is the line in the episode? Isn't it like, oh, no, I'm thinking about when Homer chokes him. But that's not a line, obviously. I don't know what he says. He gets famous

and he's like the did I do that kid or something like that. Oh, did I do that? I'm thinking of something along those lines. Icarumbo used to say that. But there was one episode

about him having a line that he says and everyone makes him always say it and people go crazy for it. It's a meme. You want to take that chair over there, KB, before you go, so we can play this little game, and maybe we'll spin this wheel.

Hopefully it lands on Carbone. Oh, what do you got? Okay, okay. Oh, almost got your wish. Cat's birthday. KB, what kind of cat do you have? American short hair black I really want to get a cat

great idea are you being serious are you fucking with me yeah it's made my life a lot better really yeah that's cute does she love you

what's her name she's detached which is annoying but Piper that's really cute you get them too because they are attached

you wanted a detached cat yeah I had a my last Piper. That's really cute. You get them because they are attached. You wanted a detached cat? Yeah, I had a... My last Piper was detached. You named him the same thing? You had a former cat named Piper? I didn't get to... That's so weird. Because I regret how I...

I wasn't ready for pet ownership in college. Oh, it was a car. I'm giving her the best life. I just find that so weird when your dog dies or something. Wow. Are y'all on this? What the fuck? That is exactly what she looks like, too.

I was really laughing at that clip of you talking about how you felt really guilty about how you threw her or something. Yeah, I launched her across the room, but I felt guilty about it. And then you were like yeah i launched her across the room but i felt guilty about it and then you're like and then i like i locked her in the closet but i didn't lock her i just closed the door no the worst thing i feel so bad when i cut her nails now she freaks out you have to put her in like i'm oh no i do a pretty good job at it but my dog i we can't cut her nails and she's like one of those dogs like posse when you stop petting her and she just scratches the shit out of you but she's really sweet yeah yeah we sleep together every day it's cute i really i just don't know what i would do good for new york it's

good for a smaller apartment kind of go crazy i just live in a studio so like i just don't want my the litter box to be like it's perfect i's perfect. I live in a studio. The smell you get, you're sensitized. I know, but I don't want my friends to come over and be like, I don't have friends that come over. Yeah, that is true. I don't really have friends that come over either. You always prepare for people to come over your place and see it. I know.

And I have a nice outdoor porch, and I'm like, oh, this will be perfect for when I have all my friends over all the time. I think I've had one party there once. Right. Get a cat. Yeah. Let's play Sporkle. Can you read these categories?

And shout out to the people who are churning these out for us. Yeah, these are awesome. It means a lot. I don't know if it's the same guy. It's awesome. I know. Wow. Thank you, sir.

One number of AA batteries needed for a Sega Game Gear. Two names of Alvin's brothers in Alvin and the Chipmunks. I know that. Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Five colors in Magic the Gathering. Very cool. Five NFL players to be rated 99 overall in the most recent Madden game. Oh, overall in the most Madden games.

Six NBA players to hit 10 three-pointers. I'm the furthest from this, guys. Six movies in Terminator franchise size. I'll take it. Someone else. Oh, God. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do any of these. Most common three names in the U.S.

Not numerical. Ten presidents with their first name beginning with the letter J. Ten flavors of Coca-Cola in the Coke Freestyle Machine. I don't drink soda. You like this one? Anyone's leg sweating profusely?

My right leg is sweating. This is me every day. Literally the only one I know is Alvin and the Chipmunks. All right. Who won last? I don't remember. I don't know.

Yeah, you're on a streak maybe. Wow. How about Theodore? Damn it. Show me Theodore. Did you know that Jesse McCartney voices him? Oh, yeah. I love Jesse McCartney.

He's my favorite guy. Who's next? Oh, Simon. Fucking A. Now I'm out. That's my celebrity lookalike. Pestilence is one of the four horsemen. Maybe he's not. Maybe he's not.

Maybe he's not. Maybe he didn't spell it right. I mean, no red squiggle. I'm out. That's annoying. I thought I was. I think you would know that. Yeah, that seems right.

I thought it was one, too, honestly. Oh, well. He didn't spell it right? I don't know how to spell pestilence. Oh, no. It was spelled. No, TJ, thumbs down. That's the answer key.

Oh, okay. Joe Biden. These are kind of hard. Not up my alley. I know. What do we got? Come on. He's the most recent.

A most common. Oh, Main Street. That's what I was thinking of saying. You know what the most common is? Don't say it. It won't be on this. Why, is it a number? Yeah.

Oh. Second. Second. Because isn't Main usually first? Eat that one. Terminator 2, Judgment Day. I'll be back I'll be back I've never seen it

I know I've never seen Terminator either What? I read the plot on Wikipedia though Oh so you've pretty much It has a pretty I heard it has a pretty accurate representation Of what a nuclear bomb looks like Really?

In Terminator? Like what it does to you. What it looks like. You know the gif where the girl is on the chain link and the blast is happening and she's doing that? No. That's Judgment Day. It's Terminator 2 Judgment Day. Donna Kennedy. No, it has to be...

John Tyler. Oh, guys. Okay. Okay. Coca-Cola Cherry? Cherry Coke? There you go.

James Carter. Lube. James Carter. Lib. Lib. James Madison. James Earl Jones. Vanilla. I always go with vanilla. I have vanilla.

What do I get in the fucking restyle machine. That doesn't matter. James Monroe. I just had to buy Rode more time. Thank you, bro. Elm. Elm Street. Are we bouncing to your next color? He just said

I said I'll So it's you Gia Yeah you gotta be I Oh is Nick out You gotta be alert Sorry sorry sorry Okay Now

It's either Jay Is it James Polk Or John Polk John Polk John Polk Hey Polks Oh James

Yeah Polk Okay okay John Adams Oh Wow There's two John Adams Father and son Second and fifth president I'm gonna

Try the horseman of the apocalypse I'm gonna say disease Fuck I'm going to try the horseman of the apocalypse. I'm going to say disease. Fuck. What is Magic the Gathering? Some soft-ass nerd shit. I guess I'll go with... Do you know what it is, Nick? Oh, yeah.

Harrison Street, perhaps? What? No. Maybe that's just where I'm from. Waverly Place? Show me Harrison. Can I get Steph Curry? Yeah, he did it.

Terminator movie I believe it's Genesis But Genesis is spelt weird Like a Y S-Y-S But J-E J-E

G-E Excuse me Alright Okay Okay. Fuck, guys. I don't know. Okay, this is obviously going to be wrong, but I'm going to go LeBron James. Good guess.

That sounds right. Something he would do. James Garfield. Sass? I'm out. It's you and KB. Oh, and Clemmer. Oh, yeah harrison street um how about dame lillard terminator one the first terminator just the terminator is called

do you know the rest? I'm not saying it. Why does it matter? So you guys could steal them in theory, but I don't. I don't know the rest. I'm kind of fucked now. You're lying. The thing that's getting me is the Coke flavors. Tom Brady.

Klay Thompson. LeBron James. Peyton Manning. Rob Gronkowski. How about... Thumbs down from TJ. Chestnut Street. Ooh. Ooh.

Spelled chestnut wrong. TJ, thumbs down. Thumbs down. If you get this, Clemmer, you win. Win, Clemmer. It would be huge for you. Yeah, it would be. Get that on the email.

Big deal. Disease. You son of a... He already said... Nice. Yeah, he said that. All right, so I'm back in. Back in.

I need to hear something. I ain't. Oh, yeah, you are too, then. We all are. Ah, KB. Maple. Maple. I love't. Oh, yeah, you are too then. We all are. Ah, KB. Maple. Maple. I love that.

I should have gone with Maple. How about Aaron Donald? It's to me? Oh, you got it. Oh, shit. Tony Gonzalez. Tony Gonzalez. Shit, no.

Ooh, clever. I thought that was a good guess. Is that how you spell it? Yeah. Z at the end? Yeah. Ugh. That sucks.

You had the chance to. I got it. It's like you in Connect Four basketball. I know. I know. Joke artist. Joke artist. I am. I know. Cook artist. Cook artist. I am.

Kyle, you don't want to miss that birthday prep. Center. Yeah, I don't. Whose birthday is it? Girlfriend. Oh. Okay. Oh, I didn't know that.

How about. I don't know if I'm going to be home in time. How about Reggie Miller? No? Kyle, you're back in, my brother. I don't want to be. Was Wilt Chamberlain about to do it? Wilt Chamberlain?

The three-point line didn't exist then. Really? 1979. How did he put up that many then? They didn't have a three-point line? Until 79. Wow. Back when the game was good.

Damn, I just need one to win it. I can't fucking think of any of this shit. Vanilla Coke, Cherry Coke. Oh, five colors. It just gets a color. Yeah. Blue? Yep.

Ah, shit. All right. Yay. All right. that's been Sporkle. Let's see the answers. Death, famine, war, conquest. Red, green, blue, black, white.

James Buchanan. Lemon? Coke? Orange-flavored Coca-Cola? Oak, pine, cedar. As the Machine, Salvation, Dark Fate. J.J. Watt, Ray Lewis. Orange, Vanilla.

Okay, that's bullshit. All right, Sass has to go, so we'll go ahead and end the show. See you guys all. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for having me. I'm not leaving. See you guys tomorrow. Bye.