The Yak - The Best Data Day Ever Leads to Cheah's Resignation | The Yak 9-7-23

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

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It's the YAK. It's the YAK. It's your strong YAK style. Yo, TJ, hold that up. It's the YAK. It's the YAK. Hello. Yo, TJ, hold that up. Hello. We're live. We're live.

Roback.com. Promo code YAK. We should start clapping before every show. I like that. Yeah. Everyone come back in. Live studio audience. We're live.

It's the YAK. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing. It's the Yak. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing the joggers right now. I love them so much. Brandon is wearing the size 4XL Roback hoodie right now. He loves it very much.

Roback.com. Promo code Yak. Do it right now. We're back. And KB's back. That's the most important thing. He has completely taken over Data Day, which I thank you so much. It's not Data Day anymore. It's the return of KB. Right.

Excited to be back, but horrible miscalculation on my part. The plan was to come back the day after day-to-day, the most mind-numbing day of the year. And Donnie told me it was yesterday, so I committed to tomorrow, which is today. Now, I guess. Now you're here. Now you're stuck. So it is that a day.

I want to first catch up with KB. How you doing, dude? Good. I got the itch to be back with the boys. I started sinning again, so you know. What'd you do? What was your first sin? I've been like mortal sinning, yeah. Mortal sinning?, so you know. What'd you do? What was your first sin? I've been, like, mortal sinning, yeah.

Mortal sinning? The last couple days, yeah. Like, feeling, like, wrath again. Good. Yeah, so I'm ready to be... What are the seven deadly sins? Wrath. I've been a glutton. I've been eating, like, complete shit. I've been lusting.

I've been getting fat. I've been lusting hard. Good, good. But it took me a while. Yeah. Yeah. Envy? Any envy? Yeah. Extreme jealousy over the last two while. Yeah. Yeah. Envy? Any envy? Yeah. Extreme jealousy over the last two weeks.

Who have you been jealous of? I mean, everyone who's been succeeding. Yeah. Oh, you're jealous of... Wait, who's been succeeding? It seems like it's been a good content month. Oh. I've just been...

Yeah. Other people have been getting shy now. Yeah. Are the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins, like, is it the Venn diagram of Perfect Circle? Are there some that are like... What is the Ten Commandments? Yeah, I know, but the commandments are a little redundant, aren't they?

They're all about your neighbor and your wife. Coveting a wife is the same as lust, right? Wait, coveting your wife? Or coveting another neighbor's wife? Yeah, you could covet your wife. What if she's hot? Can't do it. What if she has a huge rack?

Yeah. Yeah. Can't do it. What if she has a huge rack? Yeah. Yeah. Do it. Has God thought about that? No, wait. Who's the Ten Commandments? I think he knew about the Ten Commandments. I'm so bad at any religious anything.

Who's the Ten Commandments? Moses? Yeah. On the tablets. And he found it? Yeah. The burning bush. What's in this bush?

And it was the Ten Commandments, right? I think he came down with them. So he was high. Yeah, by Sinai. He went and got the tablets. He got high. The burning bush was weak. He had to come down.

I guess you could say he was high. Did you guys see the quote that the Florida State wide receiver had three touchdowns on Sunday night? His mom said, because he's from LSU, or he's from right around LSU, didn't get recruited there, then just beat the fuck out of LSU. And his mom said, God always says, make a footstool out of your enemies. I didn't know God said that. Oh, he says that all the time. God said that? Yeah, make a footstool out of your enemies.

That sounds like a vengeful God. Yeah, really badass. God. I'm allowed to mock God again. Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah, Sophia, I'm cool with with that i'll ease into it but but you are there's there's no restrictors anymore no we're still we are still we have to say yes to everything you say

for like another week yeah right and then pervy yeah at least i got a couple more weeks yeah i would say he's got the rest of one number september yeah because we haven't seen him in a couple weeks so now it's like whatever you need. Like, you want me to go grab you something? Because you do say whatever you need. Yeah. He has not needed anything from me. Well, he's not taking us up on it.

This isn't even a favor. This is an opportunity for Brandon to replace me at the roofball championships in Oregon. Yes. He said it. Yeah. He picked me as his. Yeah, do it. Wait a minute. Brandon, you can replace me as well. Oh, wait.

Wait, does that mean Brandon is the roofball champion? It must be. Because he's got two places? He's better than Che. I would think so. He hasn't beat me. You haven't played, officially. You haven't beaten me either. But I've won. Yeah, but who's got two seats to the roofball championship? I do.

How many do you have? One. Okay, and how many championship? I do. That's just because he's... How many do you have? One. Okay, and how many does he have? He said just because he's fat. Right. But he's got two. Yeah. So two more than one.

Why so soon? Mr. Data. Is two more than one? Let's start there. Yes. Okay. That's data. Okay.

Brandon has two. You have one. Who has more? He has zero wins. No, but who has more? He has two. You have one. Who has more? He has zero wins. No, but who has more? He has two. You have one. He has more opportunities, I guess.

We're doing a data run through right now. Brandon has two. You have one. Who has more? That starts at the end of the day. Technically, two is more than one. Okay. It depends on how big the two pieces are, Che.

Yeah. Like, Brandon's two nuts are probably smaller than Sweet Potato Pat's. Wait, we're so confused. Oh, my God. All right. Well, either way, Brandon. So, wait. You're not going to go? Yeah, like Brandon's two nuts are probably smaller than Sweet Potato Pat's. But he's so confused. Oh, my God. All right, well, either way, Brandon, so wait, you're not going to go? No, I'll go. Yeah, I'm excited, yeah.

No, you sound like it. Yeah. And, like, I guess just because you and I are always separated by an ampersand, you won, and I still have to go. I saw they tossed you on the email. You have to go, yeah. And tossed you on the email. You have to go. And Nick will do something, I'm sure. Yeah, let's just throw Nick into this trip. That would be funny if, like, through all the budgetary stuff that Barstool's going through,

they're like, what if we stopped making Nick or KB go to everything KB or Nick goes to? It's like millions of dollars free up. We now are the most profitable company in the world. Should have just cut one of us. Never. It's good to head back. Imagine if I got cut. Dave gave you a good shout out the other day.

I heard. He's always been very nice. Great bloggers, that's right. He sent some very nice texts behind the scenes as well. So thank you, Dave. Good guy. Yeah. So it's good to have you back, though. I missed you very much, Gabriel.

I missed you guys. I think I speak for everyone. And I appreciate everything you've said, everything everyone said. And the shows were incredible from what I've heard. I didn't dive in completely. Rico kind of ruined the case race, but that's fine. I heard. Yeah. Yeah didn't dive in completely. Rico kind of ruined the case race, but that's fine. I heard.

Yeah. Yeah, we got through it. We really made... I'd say the moment that I really missed you the most was the Stu Feiner day, because that would have... It seemed like a blast. You would have shot... I would have taken my shirt off. Now I have to wait another year.

Yeah. Okay. Brandon wears old school boxers. That was shocking to see. Yeah. Oh, this is what we're catching up on? Yeah, well... Like the real baggy one? I don't understand why that's an issue. Can you show me that? There's old school boxers. That was shocking to see. This is what we're catching up on? Yeah. Like the real baggy one?

I don't understand why that's an issue. Can you show that? Especially with gym shoes. Show everyone your boxers. This is a shocking thing that we, it's just sloppy. Oh, no. You know boxer briefs technology has come out, right? Oh, God.

I don't think they're comfortable. Yeah. So I would say most days I wear boxer briefs. But yesterday I noticed on this camera you could see the briefs under there. So I wanted something a little looser and you couldn't see it. They're going to be able to see your asshole, your actual asshole. How far down do the boxers go? I don't know.

Right here? About halfway? Oh, so they're. I thought you were wearing the baggy... I think you guys are all wrong. I don't think that... Boxers are fine. Could you play basketball right now, or would your balls slap around?

What's wrong? They'd slap around, but I don't mind that feeling. You don't mind the feeling of your balls slapping around? Your balls would nut-tap each other. That's fine. I always played ball. You could have a nut-slip right now. Oh, look at that.

Look at that. My nuts are good. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. It was damn close. Oh, no. I gotta have a nut slip right now. Oh, look at that. Look at that. My nuts are good. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. It was damn close. Oh, no. I got to have a nut slip. But I don't...

Everybody here is wearing boxer briefs. Yeah, when my balls dropped, I started, like... I wanted something to, like... Yeah, wait. Yeah. I wore boxers yesterday. I'm wearing boxer briefs. I wear boxer briefs every day.

Yeah. I think it's crazy to wear boxers. Also, to have Stephen Che on your side in any argument is an immediate loss i don't love it but he literally was like oh i wear boxers all the time brandon i oscillate i have some pairs like that they don't look at those look pretty old how old che thought the most common fish in the world was a beta fish who was president when you had when you initially wore those what probably now be is hit those those boxers probably trump okay and between 20 still is president i mean he's never got beat for it so some of us no uh yeah they're two or three years old i guess okay that's not bad i'll have a lot

of pairs this is what i wanted to wear today i don't know why it's buying the coals you do like a value pack of coals's? I just tell... Do you use Kohl's cash to buy them? When I'm out of underwear, I tell my wife, hey, I need a new pack. And she goes and she presents new underwear to me. You really are a child. That's not a child thing to do. Yeah, you have your...

That's being married. You have your mom shop for you. No, no, no. That's being married. That's a... Hey, when you're at the store... You know, Amazon's a thing. Pick me up some socks.

I just go on Amazon and buy whatever I need. Not me. Or there are other websites as well you could do that. That's true. There's a lot. Y'all are shaming me for having my wife pick me up some underwear from the store. No, no, no. We're shaming you for the specific type of underwear you're wearing. Yes. But there's a secondary shame

coming from me about the wife thing. Yeah, because her back always hurts from her giant titties. Like sending her out. Yup, yup. The whole budget is on Brandon's boxers, no bras. Yeah.

Like, think about that. Bullshit. Did she wear a loose... Impossible. You just met this woman. Impossible. Oh, man. She's a lovely woman. I feel bad. You ate at her table and you're making fun of her. I wasn't making fun. I. You just meant this. Impossible. Oh, man. She's a lovely woman. Welcome to the act.

I feel bad. You ate at her table and you're making fun of her. I wasn't making fun. I was making fun of you. Okay. All right. I'm sorry. She's a lovely woman.

She's a lovely woman. It is so funny. It's like when you have college friends who have a nickname and then you meet their high school friends and they're like, wait, we don't call them that. Anyone who comes on the act, we're like, yeah, Brandon's wife's got big tits. And they're like, oh, yeah, okay. I'll make that joke, too. I can get on board with this.

Yeah. I'm in on this. But then we meet her in person and it's really uncomfortable. She's the nicest woman ever. She's the nicest woman ever. I think I've only talked about you in terms of your breasts. Yeah. It's a joke about Brandon specifically.

His wife is a saint. So, yeah. Yeah. All right. I wear Brandon specifically. His wife is a saint. So, yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I wear boxers. You wear boxers. All right.

What else before? I'm trying to like, you know. What percentage of adult men do you think wear boxers? Five. These days? Five? Yeah, five. I think it's.

The technology has come such a long way. It really has. Almost 50. I think it's almost 50. What's the point? Oh, no. It's probably like eight. Yeah. Yeah. It really has. I think it's almost 50. What's the point? Oh, no. It's probably like eight. Yeah. It's probably similar.

I would actually say that boxer briefs and like tighty-whities are not that far off. I think people wear tighty-whities. Right, which is so funny. Why would they make underwear? Yeah, tighty-whities is not easy, but at least, I don't understand how you can wear something that's not like keeping it in place. Unless you just have nothing to speak of down there.

Tired of saying it ain't going nowhere. It's supposed to stop flapping around. What do those do? They don't do anything. Except keep your butthole off your shorts. I like to feel athletic. That's valuable. But boxer briefs do that and more.

Boxer briefs, the most athletic I feel every single day is right after I take a shower and I put on my boxer briefs. And I'm like, oh, am I going to run a 40 right now? And then I finish getting dressed and then sit on my couch. You thought 50% of people wear boxers? I still think that. Gaz actually wears those type of boxers still. Yeah, I mean. Overall, more than 50% of men said they usually wore boxers.

War. August 9th. Common. Over boxer briefs? Common B-Walt win. Impossible. Common W. Briefs or boxer shorts. What year? 2018.

Wow. Impossible. No. Damn it. It sounds like B-Walt wins again. As always. Sheep. Sheep. You just do, yeah, actually doing the popular things is not cool.

Yeah. So, fucking loser. Dork. You're a dork. Hey, did you bring a cake? Yes, she did. Yeah, day to day. I love it.

The cake is here. Thank you. The incels in the chat are going to be very upset. They're going to be like, Kate brought food. Kyle, does she become disgusting since you've been gone? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go ahead, Kyle.

Give us a sweet. Kyle, Kyle, look at me. I'm sorry. And then immediately turn around and look at Kate and just give us the sound that comes to your mind. Give us the sound. If her water breaks right now, are you puking? Oh, yeah.

I can't believe that's a thing. With modern technology, you just... What do you mean? That's crazy. You can see it moving through the shirt now, which is weird. Wait, you can't believe water... I don't understand it. I don't...

Biologically. The water breaking? I don't like the term water. Or the cord. I always forget that the cord is... If you walked in on me in the bathroom, you'd kill yourself. Immediately. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Any pregnant woman taking a shit, think i do it it's nothing about you or your personality when the water breaks you're supposed to drink it so that way you're when the baby comes they feel more part of you yeah okay so i've drank in all the water broken oh yeah chug it down that's like not untrue with placenta right wait? I was joking. Placenta you're supposed to eat? Some parents do.

They dry them out and powder them up and they put them in pills. Then other people say, wait, the placenta is what takes all the toxins out of the pregnancy. So really, you're eating all your own body. What is the line of thinking for eating the placenta? Apparently it's packed full of nutrients. Oh, God.

This is like a liver king thing. Come out at the end. Anyways. Wait, what are you on right now? Four, version four? Version five? Four was a nightmare. I'm in limbo right now.

Okay. Placenta pills might bring you to five. I'm off every health. I'm lifting a lot hell yes but look jacked like doing three a days three days in your apartment my apartment has a gym and i just do uh pull-ups like whenever i see it that's pretty sick yeah have you seen have you seen big t yet i did yeah and how the... Exactly what I wanted and expected. So no discussion whatsoever.

You were in the same elevator? We were passing each other in the lobby. And you didn't even... You didn't even... Nothing? I think after he passed, I said, Yo, T, or something. After he went by you?

Yeah. He was out of earshot. Yeah. Do you regret making this pact with him? never to speak, outside of the office? No, I think that's perfect. He was a little, he's a little cautious about the pact because he's like, is Kyle really not going to talk to me? I was like, oh, yeah, he's not. Like, you have to stick with that.

I feel like the ball was in his court there. To either accept it. To approach me. Right, right. But it's an uncomfortable territory, so avoidance is probably the best tactic. I love just having a pact. Like, hey, when we see each other, nothing. Nothing.

Yeah, just what are we going to do? Is that high? Yeah. Fuck that. And we were asking before, Piper's all moved in yeah feeling good she loves it yeah so is you you have an entire room for piper piper is yeah it's like a big closet um like a seven foot fort various fauna fort plants coming in it's yeah like a i'd hire a task rabbit and he took three hours to build piper's fort she doesn't use it do you think she would use it if you had built it maybe that's it maybe she's how

embarrassing though masquerading by a window or something like what what's in the fort like um look up seven foot cat for there's a lot of like different rooms and Enclosures steps as a ramp and all that shit posts. Yeah scratching posts. I love it We need to do a Cribs with Piper Maybe we got it coming up paintings cat paintings. I love it. I love it. Oh, whoa. Oh Is it one of these I love it. I love it. Oh. Whoa. Oh. Wow. Is it one of these? It's the top up.

Top right. Down. Still can't see. Far left. It's like that. Holy shit. Holy fuck. It's a little bit it's a little bit better

pretty cheap it's better than that yeah it's better than that better just mean more expensive or is it more fun yeah she hasn't used it

so I don't know how fun it is well she could be using it right now yes she could maybe yeah we gotta put a little nanny cam in there right alright

so should we should we start data day? Yeah. Are we ready for this? This is, I think, what year is this? How many years have we been doing data day? 2019 was the first. Is that the first one? 21.

It's year five. This will be the fifth one. It really does aggravate me the most, but we have to do it. NFL season starts today oh yeah wait steven what happened with your community today how long did it take you were just walking on the side of a road yeah it was bad what happened um so yesterday was a disaster i took the wrong thing i took i got on the pink line when i was supposed to get on the purple i ended up really far away you don't know what pink looks like it's a lot of different colors down there wait did you really not wait what

a lot uh so today i got a reply from someone in my in my twitter comments i was like hey take this way it'll be way faster so i got off at the stop that was before like the main thing and i was like walk 0.9 miles and then take a train and it's pretty quick so i did and it let me off in like nowheresville i think i know exactly where you were yeah 10 minutes and saw zero people yeah it was actually pretty creepy uh yeah i went oh yes with no sidewalk is what i got kind of introduced to i had to make my first run into that i went into a bridge that didn't even look operable. Okay.

And I walked down this street and saw zero people. So then I walked into, like, a pretty nice neighborhood and then took a – that looks pretty – What stop was that L, the brown line that you got on? Armitage. Armitage, yeah. So I know exactly where you walked. You walked through the old, like – Terrifying. I think they're doing reconstruction over there,

but it's like an old... What's it called? Where they put the cars. Yeah, so I made it... Junkyard. Junkyard. Yeah. Door-to-door, hour 14, which is not the worst.

But I feel like walking a mile in a junkyard is probably not the fastest way to get to work. I'm going to audible for future. Yeah, for all the shit we give you, Brandon, for your commute, you get in a junkyard is probably not the fastest way to get to work. I'm going to audible for future. Yeah, for all the shit we give you, Brandon, for your commute, you get in a car. Uh-huh. Drive. How long was your commute today? Park the car.

That's not bad at all. No. You're completely fine. Yeah. We have the same. I just didn't have to walk through a junkyard. Yeah. I mean, I planned my home based on the new office, and this is not.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. This is a couple week thing. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, that's fair. But, yeah, I saw that tweet when I was doing something this morning.

I was like, do I have to go rescue Che? Because I saw it. I was like, I think I know where he is. It was creepy. Well, I mean, it's just an old junkyard area. But that's not but those aren't like that's not a main street it's like a side street you should have driven by him i know how how do you get to this point how did you not like can you just go to google

maps and type in like yeah it tells you these step by step correct follow those directions i'm confused how this is like a saga so this is the guy, by the way, that we're about to go into his data. So I wanted it to be as smooth as possible so that the route Google recommends me is take a train to a bus to a subway. Can you just do trains only on the thing? I thought you could. Yeah, you can do trains only. You can just do trains only on the Google thing. Yes.

Yes, Brandon. It is a bit long. What's stopping you from driving your ass into the office? Also, good question. He only has one car. Yeah. No, we actually have two cars. Oh, Brandon. It is a bit long. What's stopping you from driving your ass into the office? Also a good question. He only has one car. Yeah. No, we actually have two cars. Oh, okay.

So then there's nothing stopping you. Yeah, I mean, then I have to fill up the meter every two hours, probably like 20 bucks a day. Very easy. Very easy. You can do it on your phone. I like taking the train as opposed to, like, I like being on my phone and catching up. I prefer driving. Well, you could do that while you're driving. You couldn't do a twitter thread if you just drove in eddie did that he has a tesla

and he just started tweeting on a highway yeah no hands no no feet what's the rules with being drunk in a tesla if you don't have to drive it is that the same it probably is the same but should it be it shouldn't be the same but is it like if you got pulled over and you're sitting yeah because don't you get... Is that a DUI? Don't you get like a DUI if you fall asleep? Distracted. You can't be on your phone and do the hands-free driving.

Oh, really? I thought the whole reason for the hands-free was to be on your phone. Isn't it a DUI if you like fall asleep in your car? Oh, yeah, with it on. Yes, with it on. He's in ignition. He's in ignition. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so the Tesla loophole scratched that off. But now the keys and ignition is kind of a dated concept too. That's true. Finger on the button? Yeah, maybe. Or button turned on? Yeah, the button.

Yeah. These are really exciting topics. Okay. Yeah, wow. Let me do it. Are you happy to be back? That was great. This is boring. Do we only have one sheet? Yeah. Okay, alright.

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a pack near you. It's tailgating season, baby. Love it. Steven, I'm looking at this sheet right now. We're going to a Cubs game tomorrow. You said, what are your expectations? I'm expecting they're going to play baseball. A lot of people haven't been to Wrigley Field.

Oh, okay. All right, all right. What's your expectations of Wrigley Field? I thought you meant, like, what are your expectations? Will there be a game played? Oh, yeah, no. Game will be played. Okay.

Doing well. Yeah, the Cubs are so hot. Hottest team in baseball, I think. I'm actually going today. Oh, you are? About six months ago. Oh, nice. I'll do, yeah.

Well, today's a night game. Tomorrow, I mean, a day game at Wrigley is the best. Yeah. Oh, the day game is preferable. The day game is, I personally like the day game. It's just like the history. Yeah, and also a Friday 120 game is like, I feel like you're stealing time. Playing a little hooky.

Yeah, right. You get, one of my favorite feelings is when you get out of a Friday 120 game and you're drunk and there's people getting off the L like wearing suits and stuff. And you're like, I just I time traveled on your ass. Yeah. Like I've been I started the weekend four hours ago. So, yeah, that'll be fun. What were you going to say?

Kate, what was the thing? Oh, I'm just really excited for day to day because in huge letters on the sheet is what is data in Excel? A data in Excel is the is data in excel a data in excel is the information store in the excel objects we can store in excel cells ranges rows columns sheets charts tables and other excel objects okay you're just explaining also i don't really like the question kb is back how are you doing i don don't know. His mom died, dude. How's he doing? I was... Brandon, within minutes, maybe seconds of me getting the dreaded call, Brandon texted me.

Oh, no. And I was like, damn, this cat's quick. What was the touch? He said how crazy it was that a wrestler got shot not to death. And I was about to say, like, oh, it's not that crazy. Comparatively. But that is crazy. I can't believe that. Sammy Sasso.

Yeah, that was a wild story. I saw it and I thought of you, but I didn't know. No, thank you. Yeah. Did you reply? No. I wanted to because I thought I just couldn't. It was too quick. Yeah. Okay. Should we start that today? So, Stephen. So, Titus, I wanted to because I thought I just couldn't. It was too quick. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Should we start data day? So, Titus, you've never been. This is your first data day. Yeah. I would sure would. Yeah. So, Stephen, I'll give you my version.

Then Stephen will give you his version. And anyone else chime in on my version because I'll try to explain it. Stephen has data on the nfl season the 2023 season he's going to give us his predictions how each conference or division is going to go and when we say steven has data he just decides how many wins each team's going to get and puts it in an excel sheet and then says that's data last i miss anything no ties you know ties i miss anything was there three ties week one yeah no time very early steven also is very adamant that uh figuring out that it's the correct amount of wins and losses is like a monumental task that

is somehow cracked where like if we say hey, the data is just your brain putting it into a sheet. He's like, yeah, but wins and losses all add up. Yeah. Sustained. Because when you look at all the prognosticators and all that in the industry that put out their suitable predictions, et cetera, they're just kind of stacking teams how they think will do it. I go game by game.

I pick a winner for each game, and then it spits out who. No, it doesn't spit it out. I final record. It doesn't spit it out. I hate this already. It does not spit it out. You decide it. There's nothing that happens from entry to spit out. There's nothing in between. And we're off.

And we're off. This is data day. You've been doing this for half a decade. What have you learned along the way, if anything? Things can be unpredictable. No, you predict it. Yeah, these are my predictions. Right.

So there's no unpredictability because you're making the predictions. There's no science. There's unpredictability in the football season, of course. Well, yes. Yes. Agreed. Do you have a year that did well? Ever? yes agreed do you have a year that did well ever uh one year i had to eat my column because the bengals didn't make the playoffs and i said they would last year i said the texans would win the

division didn't turn out so well the answer to the question appears there was chargers and packers didn't make the playoffs and Chargers got bounced in the first round. So have you taken this data, like the struggles you've had in past years, have you then tweaked the algorithm? Have you used the data of the past to help fix the algorithm moving forward? Sure. You're going to get a lot of sure's today, by the way, Titus. This is actually, I think, the antidote to data day, is we need to invite a new, fresh person every year.

Yeah, he needs you. I'm so glad you're here. So we don't feel crazy. We're like, Titus, just watch how this goes. And he'd be like, all right, I see what you guys deal with every day. Similar to last year, I did not predict any ties, which may be foolish with 10-minute overtimes in the regular season. I do take learnings as far as previous seasons and how things do you got to count for variability you got to count for upsets you can't look at everything in a in a

microscope and say okay do i think the chiefs are going to be the texans yes but we're projecting for a 17 game season there's going to be absolutely can you talk closer to the mic too yes sir yeah um yeah so there's going to be a lot of variability. There's going to be upsets, so you have to forecast where those are. Do I think the Cardinals are going to go 0-17? No, but if I look at them week by week, I probably feel like I'd pick against them. So you have to kind of— So are they going 0-17?

They could go 0-17. Not according to me. Yeah, they doubt according to you. That's like a possibility. I would love it if they did. I think throwing that possibility out of the gate is faulty data. That should be part of the algorithm. They could go 0-1-17.

They certainly could. Yeah. Right. But you throw that out. It's not data. It's just his prediction. It's not data. So where does the data come in?

I'm glad you asked. Okay. Oh, my God. Baby, is this the worst thing that's happened to you in the last month, baby? Every year is the same. It's the same show. I love it. It's amazing.

It's every single year. He does not change whatsoever. We've been saying this to him for five years, and he comes in, same thing. So one of the things that I put on the prep sheet, I looked at the definition for data. One of the definitions, things known or assumed as facts making the basis of reasoning or calculation which is exactly what there's no calculation or no fact there is there there is there is a path that i make in your excel sheet that is referencing the formula the the winners of each match that's just you're just doing simple addition you're saying it's not really

addition what is it i believe it's a summit formula steven the very first two words wait wait wait did you say some some if do you know what some means how does some spelled sure s-u-m and yes addition that's very basic. The sum of something. How do you get that? Right. But it's not just being like one plus one. It's a calculation. Are you lost too? Kyle!

I know what you expect. You just said it's not addition. It's the sum if formula. Where we differ is what is data in Excel which is what i reference and the the sheet the tab i reference is called raw that is the data that i'm referencing for these tables that is spitting out the records can i just point out this definition of data that you have though the first part says things known or assumed as facts that's the first part first two words of things known so if you if you the data says that every year that these teams are going to win and then those teams do not win in the way that you say,

then they are neither known or assumed as facts. So that is no longer data. They are assumed at the time of publication as facts. Okay. But they're not facts. They're predictions. They're just predictions then. That's not data.

Like I can't be like – Yeah, these are opinions. I can't be like the world is going to end tomorrow. That's a fact. Put it in Excel though. Actually, yeah yeah if i do put it in excel it becomes a fact that's why i put what is data in excel and data in excel is the information used to see if you put into data uh steven chay is a billionaire would you think that maybe that would be fact then if you said steven che net worth and it was one one call one box was was 500 million dollars the other box was 500 million dollars and the summit box was 1 billion dollars would that then make you a billionaire if i had that yeah but like based off of the definition of data but again data

are these are the things that i'm referencing are things that have not happened yet correct and i do that so i can be the most diligent and thorough in the industry okay in the industry in the industry you're going you're going over their heads chad. I get what you're saying. Yeah. There's a lot of validity to your predictions or data. And how would you persuade someone like a fan or a casual NFL person that your data is more valid than like anyone else's? Anybody can say the Eagles are going to go 12-5 and win the Super Bowl. Right. Exactly. 10 seconds. Right. but where are their five

losses where are the 12 wins where do they falter who do they play in the playoffs that type of thing i did all those steps out i did the work he did the no don't people do that you know people definitely do that not on a game by game i thought like a lot of like uh sports channels will like go through team schedules and say sure i actually. I actually did that for the Bears yesterday. I think you can do that on Madden, can't you? Yeah. True. Yeah, would that count?

Did I do the data for the Bears yesterday? Certainly people do it on a team-by-team, but if you're looking at the entire league. Right, but did I do the Bears data yesterday? But you only spoke it. That's true. How long does it take you to do it? A couple hours. Oh, my God. Because you've got to input it. It's pretty barely manual when you spoke it. That's true. How long does it take you to do it? A couple hours. Oh, my God.

Because you've got to input it. It's pretty barely manual when you input it. Maybe two hours. So you're not even using the SUMIF? The SUMIF has been built in. Okay, got it. It's a template. Did someone build the SUMIF for you?

You did. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, shit. God damn it. I don't think they want to do this show. That's not good.

Data. I guess my expectations are now low for the Cubs game tomorrow. Fuck. Okay, well, yeah, nothing got cleared up there, but go ahead. Let's jump. Let's dive into the data. Yeah, let's dive into the data. Let's dive into the data.

Okay. Wait, did you print them out for us? No, we have a full presentation. Yeah, we have a full data. Wait. Did you print them out for us? No. We have a full presentation. Yeah, we have a full presentation. You know that. Is this new? No, no. He did it last year.

Wait. In collaboration with NextGenStats, ChatGBT. What is that? Amazon? Amazon Web Services. Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation? What did they do? He was on Epstein's Flight Logs.

Bill Gates? Yes yes what is the oh really yeah dude the whole like his divorce the the theory and borderline almost fact is that he got divorced because the data his wife his wife was like stop hanging out with this epstein guy oh i don't follow him i saw him on 60 minutes once and he seemed pretty he drops his kiddos off at daycare steven watches a lot of 60 minutes but he was also on 60 minutes i believe for the divorce and the epstein thing wasn't he to be honest i haven't followed that story at all okay got it. So this is endorsed by Bill Gates. What did he do? Loosely.

What is the collaboration? What did they collab with? What did they collab with? I think they're big fans of Data as well. Okay. That's not. What did Amazon collab with? The template. Okay did what are the

other collaborations that we have listed you really let him off of that they're just fans of there's fans of data like bill and melinda gates i would say bill is a fan of data well it gets a huge philanthropist right like doesn't she have like a million charities yeah they have a lot of money yeah okay. Okay. What's ChatGBT? What do you do? ChatGBT is a great service that is AI-based. And what... How do you...

We're not all you. Yeah. How did it collaborate with you? So I had some help in setting this up, so they could have been... Wait, what? Did ChatGBT make any predictions on this? ChatGBT did not, but they could have helped with the. It could have helped.

It could have. I'm not the person that did it. Quigs. I'm a little. Oh, Quigs. What's the last one? IBM Watson. IBM Watson.

Okay. So Quigs made the data presentation for it. Okay. Thank you to Quigs. I love the stare down. I feel like that's what the DMZ soldiers do all day. Yeah, Stephen, you are just looking at yourself, which is very perfect for you.

Yep. It's like, man, that guy is smart. Good looking. Eats pussy. Have any of you had the inclination to undermine this whole thing by doing it yourself and doing better than Steven? I did one year. I think I just did it on. I got so frustrated that I just filled out one team's schedule.

I was like, look, here's data. And Steven was like, well, fuck. Because I did the game by game yeah um but no he uh steven che also we should have said is he we we found this out a couple years ago he is smart presenting so if you look at him you're like that's a smart guy okay if you peel it back not so much not so much it should be noted that in the very early days of barcelona when you're in hq2 and sat in small rows and uh like all business pete was in my row and there was a question floating around it may be from barcelona or something like that but who do you think is the

smartest person in the office and all business people voted for me yeah so he didn't know you you at all then no he's just okay uh all right let's let's do it let's slide one oh okay so we're starting the afc oh okay oh wow you've got maybe missing the missing the playoff the bills the bills are not making the playoffs i have the bills not making the playoffs? The Bills are not making the playoffs. Why? I just think it's a very competitive division. I think the Patriots are the bottom class of the division, and they're still a decent team. Multiple teams come out of competitive divisions all the time. Yeah.

11-6 is a fair division-winning record. I think the Dolphins are going to be pretty frisky. I think the Bills are going to take a little bit of a step back. We saw that kind of towards the end of last season. And I think that the Patriotsins are going to be pretty frisky. I think the Bills are going to take a little bit of a step back. We saw that kind of towards the end of last season. And I think that the Patriots are still going to be at least competitive. And I think the Jets took a massive step forward with Aaron Rodgers obviously. Okay, so where are the eight Bills losses? Sorry, let me get

my computer so I can have all the... And how have the Bills gotten worse? Yeah, how have they gotten worse? Sure. Sure, he said. I hate, sure is the biggest shrug off answer. Yeah, sure, you fucking moron. What's in parentheses there?

The door boy you asked. The door boy you asked. It's going to be very good. I don't think 9-8 is bad, but yeah. No, 9-8 is bad. They're going to take a step back. Missing the playoffs for the Bills would be bad. I mean, Von Miller is their best passer.

She's going to be out a couple of weeks. If the Bills go 9-8 and miss the playoffs, that is a disaster of a season correct so that's bad we're just taking for granted they're gonna be good every so the first slide you're pretty faster what you're doing dan i mean it just goes afc east is typically how everything's you're looking at their roster and how good this group that they've had the last few years how good they've been and you're projecting that into this season and ste Steven says disregard all of that. Yes, Vaughn Miller's out for four games. I'm worried that one slide in, the data's trying to be too edgy this year.

Yeah, I mean – It starts with AFC East every year. Last year he didn't – That's not what I'm asking. Titus, last year he didn't have the Chiefs make the playoffs. Correct. Are you serious? And Travis Kelsey shouted Steven Che out at the victory parade,

the Super Bowl victory parade. Travis Kelsey shouted Stephen Che out at the victory parade, the Super Bowl victory parade. Travis Kelsey was like, all those people who didn't think we were going to make the playoffs, and everyone was like, wait, who the fuck said that? And then Stephen quoted him and was like, oh, he burned me. Okay. So, sorry, what was your quote? The Bills lost. Bills, yeah, give me the eight Bills losses.

Sure. Week one, Jets loss. Okay. Week three, Commanders loss. Oh, wow. I have Commanders being pretty good. Okay. Week four, Dolphins loss.

So they're one and three. One and three to start the season. He's looking. Oh, no. Week nine, Bengals loss. Okay. It's four. Four.

Week 11, Jets loss. Five. Week 12, Eagles loss. Six. Week 14, Chiefs loss. Seven. Week 16, Chargers loss. Six. Week 14, Chiefs. Loss. Seven. Week 16, Chargers. Loss.

Eight. So that's it. That's eight. You think they're going to lose to every good team they play? They're not going to beat any of the good teams. The Chiefs are good. They beat some good teams. They beat the Dolphins at the end of the year.

They beat a bunch of good teams. But, yeah, I mean, nine and eight, like, what are we expecting? Would we be much happier if they're 10 ten and seven and and make the playoffs like i yeah i mean they went 14 and three last year right or 13 and three the the bills certainly are are very uh and we did just point out that you picked the chiefs go nine and eight last year uh so it feels like the bills might be the super bowl play this year could be yeah great and uh you It would be great. And then, you know, Wayne Nuts gets some. Sure. Yeah. Okay.

All right. All right. I do not have the Bills being a playoff team. I think they take a step back. We saw some drama with Stephon Diggs earlier in the season. Their pass rush,

I think, is going to be a little bit worse. We'll see. Okay. Do you have injuries? Do you turn injuries off for the data? Injuries are factored in

in the fact that if someone is injured right now if there is someone who's very injury prone like tua sure did you how'd you do that i don't i don't have a missing a certain number of games but you have to put some variability in that got it you factor in weather good question like great question season great question did you look at the like the farmer's almanac yeah you look at any squirrels tails yeah no no farmer's almanac but like yeah buffalo at the end of the year is going to be very hot tampa miami in the beginning of the year sorry because the bills play the dolphins in buffalo in september and they don't have to go there till december so that helps the Bills.

Okay. Weather doesn't determine. Well, no, I mean last year the Dolphins played pretty tough in Buffalo. The Bills pretty much that game that they lost to the Dolphins was because of the heat. Okay. Alright. Good first division. I don't

know where this is going to go. I felt like that was a terrible first division. Yeah, no, I'm just trying to keep them a little bit closer. I think you might not like the next division terrible first division. Yeah, no, I'm just trying to keep them a little bit close. I think you might not like the next division. Just to double check, Che, I'm trying to get ChatGBT to give me predictions, and they won't do it. Oh. Che, do it.

No one else does it. They collab with him, so why would they help you? Damn it. Che's smarter than a computer. I'm a bitch move by ChatGBT. What the fuck? Wow. Okay.

All right. Let's go to where areT. What the fuck? Wow. Okay. All right. Let's go to where are we going next, Jay? AFC North. AFC North. Also a very good, tough division this year. Very good division. Okay. Whoa.

Three out of four. Okay. This competitive division, three of the teams make the playoffs. Correct. Not a single losing record in the division. Wow. I think they're all going to be really good. I think the Bengals are the class of the division.

I think the Ravens are going to be really good. I think the Steelers are very under. I think Kenny Pickett's going to be pretty good this year. Yeah. And their defense is awesome. Okay, and the Browns. Watson bounces back. Was there any Deshaun?

How did you put Deshaun Watson in the data? No bias? I think he's going to have a huge bounce back year. He averaged a career low of 6.5 yards per attempt last year. His last full season, he averaged a league leading 8.9. I think they're going to push the ball down the field more. I think they're going to have a better running attack. What if he gets into legal problems?

Is that in the data? You just go in between the white lines. Yeah, I'm more of an in-between. I can't predict if a guy's going to get a rub and tug. As the season wears on and his muscles are getting a little more sore. Well, that's weird because you did put a pedophile drop into our fantasy football league, so you obviously think some of these things are possible.

That was more of a group decision, I think. Okay. What was that? In the dingers-only league that I have with PMT, we have a one drop rule for injury. One of my players is an alleged pedophile. Who is it? Wanda Franco. So I wasn't technically allowed to drop him because he wasn't injured.

So it became a little bit of, so I said going into the fantasy football league, we should at least have a clause. Any alleged pedophilia, we should be able to drop the player which we all yeah oh yeah yeah perfect yeah very fair all right okay it was like the zaniest thing to happen to you when you were doing these when I was making this yeah anything crazy with these as far as like what team stands out or like what... Like, any individual game was like, wow, this was weird. What's going to be the game of the year? Any game the Cardinals win is weird because they're, like... Did you...

When you did the data, were you, like... Did you tell your family, like, hey, guys, I'm going down to do the data. Please, no interruptions. And, like, your wife, like, brings you a hot tea halfway through and, like, maybe, like, a back rub. No. I do have a little office that's in my basement, and it's under the staircase, which is nice. So you're just sitting under the staircase. Yeah, Harry Potter.

That's when you go dadamode. Yep. And you just, how long did you say it took? A couple hours, too. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right.

Let's keep going. See, I like the Bengals. Yep. Jag yeah jaguars oh this is a shit division wow okay yeah i mean really bad i know pete presco's on the the jaguars and cites they're very easy schedule i think the jaguars are certainly going to be a lot better i think the teams in this division just stink like i think the titans take a monster setback i think variable is really good coach so they could certainly out-coach the 5-12, but their personnel is terrible. The Colts, Anthony Richardson, I mean, this guy is probably going to

throw for like 150, 125 yards a game. That's going to be tough. I think he's going to be a really good player, but I think their roster needs a lot of help, and I think the Texans are going to continue to be bad. 4-13 I think is a fair prediction for them. Okay.

All right. Did Fasoli have an Ezekiel Elliott Patriots jersey? He did. Yeah. Jesus Christ. When did he buy that? Two seconds ago? Yeah.

That's wild. He's on it. Classic Fasoli. Yeah. Okay. I like the – there's been a – I think Nicky Smokes has a jersey on today. Ricky Williams. Ricky Williams. Ricky Williams.

Yeah, just first day of football. Feels good. Our lives are back. Okay, so bad division AFC South. Very bad. I'm nervous about the AFC West. So now we have how many teams? We have five playoff teams.

One, three, and one. Yeah. Yep. Two more. Chargers Chiefs. Let's see. Seems pretty obvious. Yep. I bet that has one of them. Oh. Oh, no. Oh Let's see. Seems pretty obvious. Oh, no.

Why'd he do that? Wait, there's a video? It's a video? Where is he at? New England Patriots play football tonight. Wait. No, they don't. Oh, preseason.

Got it. That was it. Okay. I love Fasoli so much. You want him, Kyle? I don't know. Maybe that was progress. I know he was starting something.

Diet-wise. Diet-wise? Oh, okay. If that was progress, then all to him. TJ, what day are you on your diet? TJ very excited about this. Did you like dimensions that you you got tagged in all those tweets last night? I just like kind of threw my phone across the room because I got like an overwhelming amount of yeah. Sorry about that Yeah, just like in the DMs and stuff to like 250 people reached out. So I'm saying what?

Suggestion, encouragement. Were there any haters? Were there anybody that was like, you can't do this? I have most people that send me any sort of negative message just muted because my brain will explode. Yeah. Okay. Well, good job. I'm proud of you.

And that's part of the protocol. Yeah. Not avoiding that feedback. Even like the overwhelmingly positive, don't get too hung up on anything. But keep tweeting about it and keep talking about it. Long way to go. Right.

You got this, dude. TJ. What are you doing? I want to know what that material felt like. What does it feel like? Not as soft as I thought it would be. Okay. Where are we?

AFC West. That was tough. A little redo from last night. Okay, so you're back on the Chiefs. Yeah, I still love the Chargers. And you could argue the Chiefs on paper took more of a step back this year on the roster than the Bills, huh? Chris Jones not playing? Yeah, for now.

He can be back. Did you just put that in the data? Him not playing? Chris Jones, thank? Yeah, for now. For a undisclosed amount of time, yeah. He can be back. Did you just put that in the data? Him not playing? Chris Jones, thank you. Yeah. So that was, did they win tonight? Let's take a look. The receivers get better, though.

Just so everyone knows, sorry to the NFL and all of our advertisers. You do not have to watch the game. Steven's about to tell us what won. The Chiefs win tonight. Oh, what was the score? The scores are not done until the Super Bowl. Okay. We get no scores until the Super Bowl. Correct.

Got it. Okay. But if next year I want scores. Couldn't you just toss up a score? Just throw a score. Next year I'd like scores on every game. Every game. That way we'll find out who scores the most touchdowns. Yeah, right. I want all of that. Actually, that would be more closer to data.

Yeah, it would be this closer. You could say who threw for the most yards. It would have a lot of practical applications. It would be kind of Schrodinger's arrow, though, because Stephen is always getting closer to data. He'll never get to data. You know what I mean? We could inch closer, but they'll never actually be data.

Always pursuing data. Would it blow your mind if I told you that some people actually do this prediction based on data? The answer is yes. I did blow his mind. That was mind-blown. You're the only one that does this? Yes. But people do do it based on data.

There's no way. David, you're definitely not the only person that does this game by game. Yes, I am. No, you're not. You're definitive way. David, you're definitely not the only person that does this game by game. Yes, I am. No, you're not. You're definitively not. You cannot. What are you claiming right now? You're the only one who predicts the records.

These are two hours, Steve. Yeah. People have been doing this since May, since April. I think they've been doing this in newspapers since the beginning of time. You can do it all. It's not going to add up. Yes, it will yes what is your proprietary form you wait you think what what what okay so this person clearly did it that adds up

that adds up that adds up this is steven thoughts on this real original sports illustrator wait but steven this guy did it. Can we see their picks, by the way? I'm curious now. Let's go to AFC North. Go to AFC East and see if they can go to the playoffs. Yeah, AFC East. I'm sorry.

Oh, they have the Patriots winning. They have the same. Whoa, they have this. Wait, did you steal this data? Did you steal this data from this guy? When was this published? I sent this to Quigs, I think, on Friday. August 24.

Oh, no. Steven, you stole this guy's bills data. I did not. Yeah, you did. Let's go through this game by game. Go through the game by game. Loss. What did you have week one?

You had a loss. I have the losing to the commanders week three that is a lot different oh shit he got us there that's the bill's gonna stink this is two no they're not it's a two data point i think they're underrated they're gonna step back nine and eight is not stink but yeah yes it does yes it does A team that's the third best Super Bowl chances? Every Bills fan is expecting them to win the Super Bowl. The Chiefs are one. Who's two? I think the Eagles.

Okay, so Stephen, will you retract your statement that you're the only person who does this? The originator. No, I don't know that you are. It's probably been happening forever. How long have you been doing it? To be honest,

the game by game, yeah, probably about five, six years. Can you find us a game by game from someone, TJ, like ten years ago? I did. Should it be easy? I don't know if I did the full schedule, because I didn't know how to use excel like that oh my god you didn't know how to do excel like that i think in 2001

okay i mean you don't It's not worth it, Mark. You did not know how to do Excel like that. Could you not just go through – It's not data if it's not in Excel. What – did you take a class to learn how to do Excel like that? I have taken an Excel class, yeah. Oh, okay. And this – did you just sit there for the first 10 minutes? You're like, all right, I got enough.

Oh, no. Predicting every NFL game of the 2013 season and then some. sit there for the first 10 minutes you're like all right i got enough oh no predicting every nfl game of the 2013 season and then some oh my god this guy's got scores who's this guy who wrote this oh no steven kenneth arthur what let's get the i wait click his twitter yeah let's get this. Wait, click his Twitter. Yeah, let's get Kenneth Arthur. It is so perfect that Stephen truly did think he originated this idea. Steve, these guys are busting your balls. Tell them what separates you from the pack.

I'm the best. You didn't even know there were others. You don't even know these guys. You haven't studied their game. What if they're. This is a really tough moment for you, Stephen. I need you to talk yourself through it. A lion doesn't consider himself with the opinion of sheep.

How do you know they're sheep? Don't you think you should be consulting your peers' data just to look at your data? That guy's my peer? He might be better than you. What if he's another lion? Do lions concern themselves with lions? That guy is not a lion. There are other lions.

That Sports Illustrated guy might have been a lion. Don't buy it. I'm so happy that, like, I always am, like, nervous about data day because it's like, wait, we've been doing the same thing for five years. How are we going to make a wrinkle? The fact that Steven said he was the originator of fucking doing this. Of a project that took him two hours. That's like homework. He said, I'm the only one.

You sat down in that chair believing that you're literally the only person on planet Earth that does this. Not the only person. The originator. The only person that's ever. Ever done it. Ever done it. Ever done it. Che, they're missing the point.

You're the only one capable of doing it with the math and the calculation. That guy had scores, Kyle. Jay? I think he even had overtime games. 3-0 overtime games. How would you react if I had a 3-0 overtime game? I think it would be awesome. It would be sick. You don't do scores.

You're behind technology right now. That was 10 years ago. Next year, I want stats. Game-by-game stats. I want a play-by-play of one every now and then. I want a play-by-play of one game. Yeah. PED suspensions.

Yes, I want it all. We will build this out for next year and expand it. You're going to probably have to start today. Yeah, right now. Yeah, I mean, we're in a hiring freeze for the VP of Football Operations. We're going to build out our staff. Wait, right now. Yeah. I mean, we're in a hiring freeze for the VP of football operations. We're going to build out our staff. Wait, what did you just say?

We're in a hiring freeze. A hiring freeze. The VP of... Oh, my God. We're not in growth mode right now. I don't think the titles exist anymore, Steven. Yeah, no, we got rid of all the titles. GM got...

We got rid of, like, GM and senior manager and stuff like that. All titles. No, all titles. All titles. No. Yeah, all titles are gone. No. You want me to have Erica send out an email saying all titles are gone?

My contract says what my contract says. Okay, but. It's in your contract that you're the. Yeah, he fucking snuck it in. He did a classic Che where he came over to my desk when I was like in the middle of something, like eating lunch or something. I was. And he was just like, hey, is it cool if I'm VP of football?

I was like, yeah, whatever it takes to get away from you. And then he put in his contract. In your contract? In his contract. Technically, you signing off on it, so yes. Right, but the way I was under duress. You walked into the kitchen. Right, I was under duress from you.

Being around you makes me under duress. I was in the kitchen, so yeah. Okay, all right. TJ, do we have any other game-by-game predictors? I want to find someone from like 1982. Dr. Z? Yeah.

He's probably been doing it that long. And he's dead. Alright. Where are we at? Gil Brandt died last week. We should acknowledge that as well. Yeah, we should. Why don't we spend some time on Gil Brandt? Father of the modern combine. Right, yeah.

You're not picking up. All right. So the West is good. They've got two good teams. Yes. I like the Chargers quite a bit this year. I don't know how you exist as a human being. So the Chiefs are your number one seat yeah in the afc

what were the broncos what was the broncos record last year broncos were not good last year um five really should yes you don't the sean payton that doesn't change things for you at all i am not a sean payton believer yeah okay that's fine what happens with the raiders you're right or wrong uh jimmy g quarterback, you have to factor the injury thing in. Is he going to play all 17 games? He's only played 16 or more games in two seasons since he joined the 49ers, so I don't anticipate him finishing the full season. Okay.

It's 5-12 last year. Can you give me a quick, like, what did the Broncos September look like? Broncos September, that's a great question, Dan. Thank you. I figured that was a great question. Yeah, that was a great question. Week one, win against the Raiders. Oh, wow.

Okay. Week two, loss hosting the Commanders. Week three, loss to the Dolphins. Sounds like you love the Commanders. That's what I was going to say. You love the Commanders. We'll find out soon. Yeah, yes, we will.

We'll get to the next slide. Week four, October 1st, loss to the Bears. Okay. Nice. Okay. Where are we at? Are we doing the AFC playoffs first, or are we going to the NFC? The NFC, and then we'll do all the playoffs.

Okay. All right. Okay. Oh. Wow. Stacked. Wow. NFC East. Giants take a step back. Go ahead and say do all the playoffs. Okay, all right, okay. Oh, stacked. Wow.

NFC East. Giants take a step back. Go ahead and say them all, Steven. Eagles 12-5. Commanders are a surprise team in the NFC. Make the playoffs 9-8. Cowboys 9-8. Giants competitive, not enough, 8-9.

Now, I noticed the Eagles are not the number one seed. Correct. In the NFC, yes. Wow. Somebody out there. Ooh, 49ers? Yep. number one seed. Correct. Indiana seed. Wow. Somebody out there. 49ers? I like this. Yep.

I think the Commanders are frisky. I think Sam Howell is an unknown, and everyone's just saying the Commanders are going to stink. Ron Rivera, like every couple years, puts together a really scrappy, good team. They have a lot of blue chippers on defense. On offense, I think Sam Howell can be more than efficient and i think uh you know as far as running backs brian robinson not shot this year he should be a lot better not shot this year that's right well wait that's big that's the data

says he's not going to get shot again he is not shot at the time of this press release but but you're predicting wins you can't go back and forth you have to predict yeah i'll go out on them say brian robinson will not take any bullets this year wow okay wow this is gonna be a bad this is gonna be a bad clip for you my friend oh boy oh boy very good i think the commanders are gonna be the surprise team of the nfc uh wait tj can you do me one quick figure can you just scroll back real quick? I want to take a quick tally of something that I have a question on. Just go back to the AFC East and then go forward.

All right, wait. One, two. All right, go ahead. Go. Okay. Go. All right, it's not as many as I thought. Okay.

What? I just thought you're kind of using 9-8 as a cop-out. No. A lot of 9-8 teams. Feels like that's not great data. You're just kind of like, I think there might be okay. There's going to be okay. You also don't really have a horrible team.

Like, you don't have a three-win team or a two-win team. Just wait. Oh, just wait. Cardinals. Okay, all right. And also, the AFC South, I had three teams, five wins over fewer. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Okay. Okay, let's go to the next. Whoa. What? Oh, you are using a little cop out here. They're all just average? I think they're all average. How many 9 and 8 teams do you have making the playoffs?

Three in the NFC? Five in the NFC. five in the nfc five teams the nfc the nfc outside of philadelphia and san francisco is completely anyone's game i don't think there's a very i don't think there's a great team outside of that yeah but it doesn't you have to be great to be 10 and 7 you don't so talk me through this nfc prediction. Sure. I think the Packers have... Sure. I can't. Every time he does it, I just... I think the Packers are going to be sneaky good.

I think Jordan Love, again, he's like Sam Howell, is a little bit of an unknown. We haven't really seen him play. I think he has one start. The Packers' defense is good. They have guys on that defense. Jerry Alexander is one of the best corners in the league. Rashawn Gary came on last year. Kennyark's one of the best interior disruptors in

the league i think the the packers with a more run-based approach can grind out in nfc north championship i think the lions eight nine i think the hype on the lions is crazy i think the lions will be improved but i don't have them winning the division i think the vikings take a step back they won a lot of very close games they had a lot of close game luck last year uh and the bears seven and ten i mean that's an improvement obviously um but uh that obviously not where you want to be if you're a bears fan you want to be competing for the division this year i don't necessarily see that two games back in the winter do you have the lines winning tonight no no uh that's consistent can you give me the bears yeah so that checks out can you give me the bears uh uh september oh we're gonna compare what yeah i want to hear i want to see

data off well i did i did the data on the bears yesterday on the mid show bears winning week one against the pack okay that's good I don't need anything else. Okay. I'm good. Okay. Now I want to say right now I'm officially joining KB's side. I'm a fan of the data. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steven, you're doing a good job.

If you have the Bears beating the Packers, we're good. A lot of obstacles. I'm noticing a trend of, like, the unknown. You talk to yourself in the best-case scenario, and if it's a team that's sort of known, you talk to yourself into them taking a step back. Hmm. Yeah, you talk yourself into the best-case scenario, and if it's a team that's sort of known, you talk yourself into them taking a step back. Hmm. Yeah, you're right with Sam Howell, and he said unknown, but they're going to be good.

Assuming the unknown is going to be good is crazy. Sure, yeah. It's obviously going to be good, whereas Josh Allen and the Bills are going to take a step back. Yeah, well, it's not just the quarterback. They've got, you know, 21 other guys that are out there on the field. The Bills have some pretty good players too. Sure, yeah, they do.

There's a question. It's known that Josh Allen's good. For sure. And that's his downfall. Right. He shouldn't be. If Josh Allen did one thing wrong, it's that he's played enough good football that Stephen Che knows he's good and then says step back.

Yeah. You want to be a guy who's Stephen Che knows nothing about. But it's kind of boring. He's kind of boring at this time. Right. Because we've already seen – We know he's – Have we seen the best of Josh Allen?

Well, that would mean – Going to continue to ascend. No, you're saying we're about to see the worst of Josh Allen. Not necessarily. I mean, it could just be their defense is a lot worse. I think it's very reasonable to assume we haven't seen the best of Josh Allen. He's still a relatively young guy. Sure.

He's probably entering his prime either now or last year. He hasn't peaked yet. Maybe. So his prime is going to be worse than his... His prime was the duel with Patrick Mahomes in the divisional round. You think the prime will be worse than the ascension? Sorry, what's that? You think the prime will be worse than his ascension?

The prime can't be worse than his ascension, right? Okay, well you've got him going nine and eight this year we're talking about you're in his prime he's in his prime the question actually is a good one by brandon josh allen if he's in his prime right now he's been ascending and now you have him in his prime being worse than the ascension gotcha gotcha well my what i was trying to say with the kansas city thing was maybe that was his prime so we're on the down with the josh allen downfall josh allen is started the bill should think about trading josh allen yeah unknown no not saying that josh allen definitely what's behind door number three is what we're doing i see a car i see a house

i want door number three. It's about a lot more. It's about a lot more than just the quarterback. And Josh Allen could be great, and they could take a step back as a team. Got it. Okay. All right. Let's keep going.

If he is great, Stephen, they're not going nine and eight. Okay. That's your opinion. And what is this your opinion? This is the day that i am there it is not opinion you just got got right there because you you showed up to with an opinion to a data fight yeah what's like are there famous examples of quarterbacks like having almost mvp caliber type stat lines on 500 teams you would there are but I bet you Stafford those teams are worse than the Bills roster is yeah big time okay but even Stafford

is best years they went to the playoffs yeah they went to playoffs twice I think with Stafford the lions did yeah uh okay next whoa oh how many nine and eight i told you he's using it as a crutch if they went 12 he's like i was close if they went five yes in the nfc i have five nine and eight teams making the play out of seven five did you go through the tiebreakers yes you went through like this diligently are you gonna walk us through all that? So there's going to be a one seed, a two seed, and then five straight nine and eight teams. Correct. Okay.

Don't you think that's unlikely? No. Okay. You lose. You just keep getting bodied by Jay. Okay. Talk us through your division, Steven. I think this is a tough division because you look at Derek Carr

and he's kind of the class as far as quarterbacks. He's an average quarterback probably at best. I think we can all agree on that. Fair? Yeah. Desmond Ritter, I'm not a huge Desmond Ritter believer. I think that their run game, they run the ball more than anybody else. Their defense is good enough.

They have a lot of young pieces that I think can win this division. DeJuan Robinson is an exciting young player. Obviously, he's getting a lot of the hype. Tyler Algier, they have a lot of running backs. Kyle Pitts hopefully takes a step forward this year for their sake. I'm not buying the Saints hype that they're going to be this great team they lost a lot of pieces uh-huh some of them to the falcons so i think that the they're going to be competitive i think both make the playoffs i have the falcons um edging them out i i feel like the bucks going eight nine is you being a little bit of a homer to them

the line is six and a half so that would be then I'd be confirmed correct. 1.5 more. They cleared it easily. They are the second best odds to finish with the number one overall pick. I think that's a bit overblown. They still have a very good defense. So I think they're going to be in a lot of games. Do I think Baker's going to set the world on fire? I don't.

Kyle Trask may play this year, but I think they're going to be in a lot of games. You can't quit Kyle Trask may play this year, but I think they're going to beat a lot of games. You can't quit Kyle Trask. And also in a terrible way. How far into the season will you start openly rooting for the number one pick? Like if they start one in three, are you number one pick guy now? No. No. I would never get to the number one pick until it's like

post-Halloween at the earliest. Got it. So are you pumped for the Bucs? I'm always pumped for the Bucs. Yeah. You think they're going to win Sunday? I do. Is it in the data? It is.

To beat the Vikings. It is. Wow. Vikings are missing the playoffs this year. Yeah, that's true. Yes, correct. That's true. Okay.

Game 8-9. Panthers, I think, are going to be bad. Rookie quarterback, a lot of learnings okay there it is wow there's 14 three dominant team rock party is who he is um young guy certainly but they have so much talent on defense rest of the offense and i also don't think this division is good i think seattle takes a little bit of a step back i think the rams are terrible now cooper cup's gonna miss at least week one potentially way more weeks i think the cardinals are the worst team in football by a lot i can speak on this i saw a clip of their coach oh yeah speech and it was the most despicably lame can you

pull it up right you didn't love it jay the bus the bus and the whatever yeah he's a despicably lame thing. Can you pull it up? You didn't love it, Jay. The bus and the... Whatever. Yeah. Who is this? Does he have a good history? Jonathan Gannon. It's the pew, pew, pew guy. Remember I played that?

I know. I recognize him. Explosives. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. That was horrible. Shots. Explosives. And the player he was talking to wanted to be anywhere in the world.

Who are the Cardinals three wins? Great question, Brandon. Great question, Brandon. Great question, Brandon. Good job, Brandon. Thank you. Great question. Great question. Welcome back.

Who drove over here? Quick, let me see your hands. Who took the bus? Did you have fire in your gut? Did you? We're here for a reason. Don't get that twisted. Okay? We're here for a reason. Don't get that twisted. Okay?

We're here for a reason to win games. So if you didn't have that fire in your gut, you better light the fire pretty fast. Be who you are. Just understand, I'm looking for f***ing killers. The beginning had nothing. Did you take the bus? Who took the bus? What did that mean? Who took the bus? What did that mean?

Who drove? Do you have it in your gut? In your gut? Yeah, he's tough. I still don't know if that was like a poorly edited. It felt like there was a missed part after who drove and who took the bus. Does he want them to take the bus? I don't know. I'm very confused. Taking the bus want them to take the bus? I don't know.

I'm very confused. Taking the bus would mean you're hungrier? I don't know. But it's kind of lazier? But it's also you're with your teammates. True. Not thinking about just you. But the car would get there faster,

so you'd probably be in the facility longer. You'd have to do more work. Right. Hey! What's up, man? How you doing? Good. Good.

Oh, this? Oh, that, yeah. Oh. That's what you got from the 40s. Look how he looks them up and down. Hey! That's the part that's so uncomfortable. That was a flirt.

He was, yeah, he was like, you're stuck. That was Ned Ryerson, who's like, uh... That was Ned, Ned the Hemp? Yeah. Yeah. Play it again, watch the look. Oh, is Ned the head? Yeah. Play it again. Watch the look up and down. What's up? Hey.

What's up, man? How you doing? Good. Good. Good. Oh. Oh, yeah. I ain't down too long.

Good. Oh, this is so much USA. Good. Let me get a look at you. Hey. What's up, man? How you doing? Juxtaposing this with Rob Allen's pregame speech. Yeah.

Yeah. Speaking different languages. They have the same job. I guess, you know. But when you are, like, a dorkier white guy like that, what is the best strategy for winning over, like, the NFL players? I think it's like Mike McDaniel. I think he's kind of overdoing it now.

Really? Yeah. But I think you've got to lean into. I think he's kind of overdoing it now. Really? Yeah. But I think you've got to lean into, like, I'm smarter than everyone. Yeah, but he's got his one pant leg pushed up. Yeah. It's like when Mark Trestman was the coach of the Bears, he's in that dorky category. There was, like, a rumor that he addressed the team from the back of,

like, the room because he didn't want to stand in front of them because he was, like, so, like, men oh it was intimidating yeah see the guys shots explosives pew pew pew pew i placed the biggest bet of my life on the cardinals have the number one pick really biggest bet of your life what's that number it's responsible but it's a couple hunch. We don't have to say responsible. Devil's advocate for Gannon here. A couple hunch.

A couple hunch. Okay, that's fair. I'm not unashaming. I was just wondering what the biggest bet. 56 hunch, something like that. That'd be crazy if you were like, yeah, I bet $100,000. Bet hunch again. Hunch.

Hunch. Yeah, it's a hunchy. A couple hunch. A hunchy. You don't gamble, Brandon. I'm talking Hunchy. Have you ever said Hunch in your life? No, never.

Okay. A couple Hunch. I'm going to start saying it. You think they're by far the worst team? I do. By far? By far, yeah. Who are their wins?

Cleveland, week nine. Texans, week 11. Rams, week 12. Wait, but how are they by far the worst team? And then there's like three other teams that are four-win teams. And I think they beat one of those teams. They beat the Rams. Yeah, that's not – and the Texans.

The Rams are a five-win team. The Rams have potential to be worse. They're not way worse than the Rams or the Texans. They're one game worse than three other teams. Two other teams, yes. By far. Do you think if – so like the Rams are like right there with the Cardinals' worst team, do you think they're going to throw a game at the end of the year?

Oh, great question. Doesn't that factor in if they are actually kind of close? Yeah, when you get into like week 17, week 18, the things can get a little bit wonky. Yeah. Does it factor in the wonkiness? Of course. Okay, all right. Caleb Williams isn't going to play for the Cardinals. I think the wonkiness? Of course. Okay, all right. Caleb Williams is going to play for the Cardinals.

I didn't know wonkiness was factored in. Yes, definitely. How much wonkiness is factored in? Towards, like, New Year's. There's games on New Year's Eve. What's the earliest wonkiness can happen? Who's got the highest wonkiness coefficient? December.

I think wonkiness happens before December. So is wonkiness, like,0-0-0-0 then like up at a 10? Can there be a little bit of wonkiness? There can be a little bit of wonkiness. Yeah, I don't think like 0-0-0 up at a 10. I've seen some wonkiness early. Like the Mavericks had a bunch of

wonkiness towards the end of last year where they just pulled all their starters and played bad guys. Oh, are you going to do data for the NBA? That would be I would be interested in that. I would going to do data for the NBA? That would be... I would be interested in that. I would like to see data for the NBA and college basketball. I would like all 360 college basketball. Maybe the Olympics upcoming, too?

I'm not following that. Okay. Good. All right. Last, are you done? No, we've got playoffs, dude. The biggest part of this is the data. My tremendous mistake.

Continue. God damn, Kyle. Wow. You're done with the division. Now it's just playoffs. I'm going to give you one opportunity here to save yourself in case of crisis. What do you predict now what your win percentage will be with this data? That's a great question.

Great question. That wasn't great question. Great question. That wasn't a question, actually. Sure, sure. Demand. Well, it's actually said predict, so it's about to become data. Yeah. Watch the transformation, people.

Just straight Moneyline winners, no spreads. Yeah. What you predicted right here, what will your win percentage be? 64. Whoa. This is money line, no spreads, just the straight outcome of games. Okay. 64.

Okay. So you should bet every one of these right now. Bet money line every one of them. I will bet the division winners. I'm not going to take a money line if it's like minus 500. Yeah yeah but there'll be some pluses there but if you're yeah if you're right on 64 what about what about this 14 playoff teams how many playoff teams are you getting right seating out throw out seating throw out seating how many of these playoff teams have you gotten right so we got the chiefs bangles jets jag Jets, Jags, Chargers, Ravens, Steelers.

It's going to be seven on both sides. NFC, Niners, Eagles. Yeah, what are you doing? What are you doing right now? Commanders, Cowboys, Saints. I will get at least nine. I think ten. Ten right.

Ten out of 14. But it didn't fix it now. I don't think so. Yeah. Why wouldn't you just make it 14 out of 14. But it didn't fix it now. I don't think so. Yeah. Why wouldn't you just make it 14 out of 14? To account for variability. I don't think 9 out of 14. You literally are just submitting like a C paper.

You can do revisions. Certainly. And I absolutely could have hit up 14. How many did you get last year? I believe I got eight. Oh, that's not great. And you got the Super Bowl champion not making the playoffs. Correct.

Okay. There we go. All right, here we go. I would be remiss to not bring up something that the chat has pointed out. You have 277 losses and 267 wins on this one. No. Oh, my God. No.

No. How does this always happen every year? No. No. You got this, Jay. Double-checked. We have to double-check. You're 10 wins short.

No. Oh, my God. No. What are god. No. What are you doing? I'm writing. I make sure that what TJ's saying is correct. Oh my god. This would be the greatest day ever. Would this make

day to day longer? Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. Call the beef. Tell them you're not home for dinner. Curious. This is true. Oh, what? This is the entire foundation of the data.

See, I trust you so much. I feel like that will happen now. There's going to be some things. I would just stick with it. Don't budge here. Something might happen with like forfeits or cancellations. Double checking the formulas in case something goes wrong. And it could just be an input error on the Excel thing. You're the input!

There's a sheet that I have based off of and then it is manually typed in the input. Okay. There's a sheet that I have based off of, and then it is manually typed in the presentation. Oh, my God. This is going to be a disaster. How many games off? Ten. Ten games off? It did feel like everyone was doing a little bit better.

Like, too many 9 and 8 teams, not enough. Right. Not enough double-digit one teams. How many games are there? Or should there be? 544? bit better like too many nine and eight teams not enough right they're not enough double digit how many games are there or should there be 544 so 277 no 267 so you have 10 too many losses then yeah yeah oh my god there's 277 losses and go back to the afc let's go back to the AFC. Let's go back to the AFC. 544. Go back to the AFC real quick. And it adds up to 544. There has to be a formula here.

You count the losses. I'll do the wins. Alright. Next slide. Next slide. Are you doing a calculator? Duh. i'm an idiot dude are you out already brandon i got it i got a number okay what's your number right now 104 i'm at 100 huh i'm at 100 wins okay

got it Got it? Okay. It should be 272 and 272, so you're five off in each direction. Hold on, hold on. We're doing it right now. This is incredible. All right, next. What number are you at?

Wait, 175. I'm at 161. All right, keep going. Good. I'm at 161. All right. Keep going. Good? No. What was that? Good or bad? Jay?

I think, because I'm looking for a formula error, and there are no formula errors. So it could have happened. All right. Last one. It's a typo. And like spelling commanders spelled something wrong yeah like two r's

or something like that yeah what do you have a bitch to find 236 oh you're way off yeah you fucked up alright

no so this is right that the do you have 244 no I have 267 277 so I must have yeah five typos in here.

Wasn't there a spell check? If it's 277 losses. This is, you are getting demoted. It should be 272 on each. That means you have five games. Correct. Steven, you're getting demoted. If this is true.

How can you revise that contract? How can I revise? We have to revise the contract. How can I revise it? We have to revise the contract. How can I revise President of Football Operations? Have incorrect data. Five fingers. I'm looking through it right now. Who's the other guy, the Sports Illustrated guy?

Do you think he had it wrong? No, this never happened to him. This is incredible. Other guys who have been doing it for so long have been able to get through this and have the mistakes and fix them. The originator here didn't. I don't see a single typo yet, Steve. Oh, do I? Damn.

Huh. Going through. Something corrupted the data. Thank you to the chat. Shout out to chat. Huh. Yes, shout out. Connor, are you adding right now?

Who's adding? Making sure this gets out by Steve to chat. Huh. Yes, shout out. Connor, are you adding right now? Who's adding? Making sure this gets out, but Stephen Chay. Okay. Connor's alerting the press. We just did an entire data day with incorrect data. Potentially. Oh, no. He hasn't fully understood what happened.

No, I think I understand exactly what happened. I'm trying to find what the typo would be. That's the only way to do it. So what happened? So the way that this is formatted. Again, you formatted it. So there's no one you can blame. No, yes, this would be myself.

Right. formatted it so don't there's no one you can blame no yes this will be myself right so so so wait so so when you say it say the way i formatted this the way i formatted this is it takes the name of the winner and then 17 minus that winner however many times i definitely didn't do excel correct wait where's this the excel is correct but, but there must be five typos of winners' names because then it would not recognize the winner, if you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I get it now. Yeah. 17 minus that. TJ, have we double-checked that he's off?

It is. Triple-checked? It's off. It's off. It's definitively off. How did this happen? This is the only thing that the data...

I didn't see any spelling errors. Kate, did you save the receipt for the cake? This is the... Literally the only thing that the data day was supposed to be. The only thing the data does

is counts the wins and losses. I didn't see a single word spelled wrong, Jay. Why don't you cut up that cake? It should have spellcheck where it goes. I'm just going to scrape the word happy off. You're going to have to take the word data off.

It's just a day. There is no data. I can't believe this happened. I'm in utter shock. How did this happen? It just says day. It's a day. I can't believe this happened. I'm in utter shock. It just says day. Yeah, day. It's a day. It's a day in the week.

Oh, you've got to take day. That is true. By the time this gets sorted out, it will be nighttime. Steven, this is disastrous for you. Yeah. Like, you can't. That's better. It looks a lot better. at least i'm so glad that i'm here for this i mean this is so perfect i will absolutely

uh be talking to erica tonight and saying we have to get your eyes contract revised i mean steven you you agree that's correct, right? Accountability. You can't be VP of football operations now. There has to be some sort of accountability, Steven. I mean, is there a financial consequence? We might have to dock his pay. Steven. Yes.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you right now? No. You are no longer the VP of football ops at barstool sports i think i have to overrule you no you there is no overruling me he's the one who signed off on on the first place so you can he can technically no well you just know okay but erica, I'm going to text Erica and say we have to amend Stephen's contract. So it's really like, you want a job, or do you... What's the new title? What is the new title?

Okay, you want to keep your job. President. I don't want you to be fired. How would you... That's a promotion. No, you can't be president. You can't go from vice president to president. Stephen, you have...

I don't want to do this the hard way. Let's do it the easy way. You have to announce right now that you are stepping down as VP of football operations. Resign. I will launch an investigation. Sir! We're going to have to hire a team of lawyers.

Stephen, look at me right now. Stephen. Look at him, Steve. Look at me. The press has already got this. The only thing you can do right now is resign from VP of football ops. If you don't, there will be impeachment trials and you could lose your job. Stephen, resign. Resign, sir.

Resign, sir. I have to find out what the error was. You have to sir. I have to find out what the error was? You have to resign. I have to find out. It doesn't matter what the error is. The fact that there was an error means you have to resign. We have to get to the bottom of it. Resign.

That could happen. Resign. You have to resign. You just said the only person at fault is you. Most likely. Most likely. Steven, I need your resignation right now. Yeah.

I can't. My wife would be really mad if I resigned today. No, no. You're not resigning from Barstool Sports, you dummy. You're resigning from VP of Football Ops. I really like that. She would be upset about that? Wait.

Wait, your wife would be. There's no way your wife cares if you go home tonight. You're like, I had to resign from VP of football ops. I already ordered signs. So those do not go up anywhere. Steven, I again, I'm being very fair with you. We can do it the easy way. We can do it the hard way.

If you resign right now, there will be no investigation. Well, I want to investigate. That's fine. You can do it. You can do an investigation afterwards of all your procedures, but there'll be no external investigation because I will get actual lawyers involved in this. Don't do that. Well, I will.

You need to resign. I'm going to give you to the end of this cake. I want your answer is the minute I'm done with this cake. You don't have long. Steven, look at me. I'm eating the cake. See this cake? When this cake's gone, we're going to go one of two ways.

We're going to get real lawyers involved, and we're going to have to... You might lose your job, or you can resign from VP of Football Ops in peace, keep your job, and then you can work towards maybe getting it back. Okay, fine. I'll do that. Say the words. I resign.

No, no, no, no, no. You motherfucker. He resigns his contract. No. What? You need to tweet out, I resign as VP of Football Ops of Barstool Sports. With no hyphen in resign. I got a framed tweet that Schefter did.

I have it framed. That's great. You can maybe sell it as one of those collectibles where it's like things that never happened. You could do an auction on, yeah, you could raise money for charity with it. I'm almost done with my cake. Jay, I need to know that you know that your job wouldn't actually change. He doesn't really fully understand that, but that is a fact. You're still doing the same stuff.

This isn't. 100% still doing the same stuff. Same pay, everything. Just make time, everything goes away. But it's. It's safer for you. Right. Because you could.

You're a contracted employee, no? Yes. And so if you're not, it's going to be performance-based firing if you're. That is true. Great point, Nick. With your job title, right? Right. Great point.

So if you get rid of that job title, it's ironclad. You can't be fired. You could be fired right now because as VP of football ops, you screwed up the only thing that you had to do. Okay, fine. Say it. I resign. Did you say that again?

Did you say resign? I think you did. Stop doing that. I'm saying resign. No, resign. You're saying resign. I resign. No. You know what Well. No, resign. You're saying resign. I resign. No.

You know what you're doing. Yeah. What do you want me to say? You're trying to pull fast. I want you to resign. I resign. Oh, that was better. That was close.

You resign. I resign. Okay, that was close. Now I need you to tweet it. You resign from what? VP of football. Effective immediately. I resign from.

Yeah. Yes. Effective immediately. I resign from, yeah. Yes. Effective immediately, I launch an investigation and resign. No, no, no. No, I agree. No. You have to see how the investigation plays out. Kyle, if he stays as VP.

I think you got to let the investigation. But you missed this part. If he keeps his title of VP of football operations. It's now an external investigation. We're going to hire lawyers to look into everything. Yeah, see how that plays out. I will personally fund the lawyers. I will get the best lawyer I've ever. I will have Johnny Cochran still alive.

He will be our lawyer. Very much now. Okay. We'll find Johnny next of kin. We'll get a Cochran in here. He'll be all up in your shit. You're going to have to hand over your laptop, your iPhone, everything.

I'm going to have the ATF and FBI raid your house. We'll have to lead you out of here in cuffs. Correct. What more could we uncover? You probably shouldn't even work while the investigation is going. You do have to take a leave of absence. Okay, fine. Then I resign. He's doing it. Tweet it. I want to see you tweet it. the investigation is going no yeah no you you you do have to take a leave of absence okay fine

then i resign he's doing it you tweet it i want to see you tweet it what are you going to say i want i want i resign as vp of football operations from barstool sports you can work back to that word at how he wants he's gonna he's got you know what he's doing. I would like to see. Steven, you understand that if you do this, all files will be redacted. We'll never have a trial. We'll never have to understand what you fucked up. Am I taking a deal? Yeah, we're redacting all the files and we're moving forward with data day.

So I can either take a deal or you're going to Oppenheimer me. He's not going to fuck your wife. I love how serious Steven's taking all of this. What is your choice? What are you thinking about? I don't want to tweet this

it's not a real title I get it yeah alright looks like we're going to investigation now I need I need a clarification after I tweet this that's it as soon as I hit send everything else is done there's no investigation you can't

we go to the playoffs we go to we move to the playoffs you no longer vp of football ops so what like this is just a regular fan just doing their wild predictions okay fine so i will tweet this to make it official okay and then I never want to see a sign. You can't bring those signs into the office saying Stephen Chay VP. It's already been installed. Where? At the new office. Wait a minute. The office doesn't even have fucking doors.

I thought you don't have doors. You already have your sign up? Yeah, I have a parking spot. No. No. What? It's gone. What?

That's absolutely gone. That's absolutely gone. It's already up. Yeah, I know. Take it down. Take it down. I'm screwed. That's absolutely gone. It's already up. Yeah, we have to go down. We have to go down. It's ridiculous. You already went and put up a sign.

There's a sign? I didn't do it. You're telling me the construction that doesn't even have fucking, we don't even have power there yet. You have your spot, your sign. Correct. You have a sign parking spot? Yes. And he's not driving to work.

How did you pull that off? This is the biggest takeaway. What? I just got a sign parking spot. You have a... You have a parking spot with a sign that says Stephen Che, Vice President?

This exists? This sign? It's real. Why did you think you got a parking spot? Somebody just showed up here. I didn't. Who ordered the sign? Were you surprised? Did you ask for a sign?

Someone that is working on the office. And you asked? I did not order it. I did not ask for it. Somebody just magically appeared. Somebody just. Who? Clifty Martino.

Oh, okay. Well, he's going to have to take take it down because he's part of the problem now uh i'm sure i do yeah you definitely do che that parking spot is no longer yours che you messed up the data all right all right but after i tweet this we go right to the playoffs after i tweet this this is a double jeopardy. You can't be tried for the same crime. Okay. You're taking the plea deal.

Okay. You're admitting your guilt. You're taking the plea deal. And you're no longer VP of Football Ops. I'm not saying that that's not something you can work back towards. But as of today, you will no longer be vp of football ops whoa what is he doing what is he doing what is he added for the moment no no no no no no no deal no deal no deal i resign for the moment no no this is gonna shock you there's a there's currently a hyphen yeah i

knew it no no hyphen that that's how it's about okay you did know okay you knew he put a hyphen. That's how it's spelled. You did know. Okay. You knew. He put a hyphen? Yeah, he put a hyphen. You try to sneak in for them. You know exactly what you're doing. You can write, I resign as VP of football operations from Barstool Sports. I am now just a regular employee of Barstool. Check out my crazy, goofy prediction. Yes.

NFL season. Yeah, so that way people don't think you actually were fired or quit or anything. I am now just a regular run-of-the-mill, just like the rest of us who don't have titles. Right. No one in this room has a title. No. How much of this is in the tweet? What?

You're just going on about that. No, yeah, I'm doing a show right now. We're doing a show. No, I'm going to put out. I'll write the tweet. I resign as VP of football operations, and I'm now a regular employee at Barstool Sports, right? I'm tweeting for you.

No, no, because then he has the deniability then. Yeah, Che has to do it himself. Yeah, he has to do it himself. He has to do it himself. You're right. All right. then yeah che has to do it himself yeah he has all right we're working on it how did you pull off the parking spot thing is what i want to know i know you got a guy on the inside but yeah people people were very happy with the um the title change and they're excited that i was moving to chicago And people were pushing

for it. And so, yeah, of course. I greenlit it. It was my first... Your first act as VP was to greenlight your own parking spot? Correct. Is it a good parking spot? Is it up close? Is it right next to Big Cat's? I don't know exactly where it is, but it is reserved.

Who else have a parking spot? I don't have a reserved is reserved. I don't have a parking spot. I don't have a reserved parking spot. You can't have a reserved parking spot. That's okay. Okay, so you're going to have a parking spot. We're all going to have parking spots. No, I'm not going to have a assigned parking spot.

We're going to park where it's available when we get there. Okay, that's fine for you. You know that we're doing a show early in the morning. If you push us through, I'm parking in your spot every goddamn day. Every morning. Okay. What are you going to do, call the cops? I know some repo people.

That's not legal. It's not? No. You can't repo because I'm parking. Neither is parking in someone's spot. I'll have your car towed so fast it'll make your car. Damn. There we go.

How would you get that done? Well, you're not going to be able to access your car from about 9 to 10 Central, are you? You can't just call somebody and say, hey, tow this car. This car is parked illegally in a spot it's not assigned to. It's not illegal. Your parking spot's not real. C-R-U-T-I-L-L-Z. A sign does's not real. Apparently it is. A sign does make it real.

How do you spell scrutinous? S-C-R-U-T-I-N-O-U-S. That's what I got. Is that right? All right. Does that mean scrutiny? Yeah. All right.

I'm writing it right now. Here it is. Effective immediately, I, Stephen Che, am resigning as VP of football operations at Barstool Sports. I have decided to do this instead of facing a scrutinous third-party investigation into my failures in this role. I am now just a regular employee at Barstool Sports. That's a bit much. No, that's exactly what happened. With the original. No, that's exactly what happened. With the original.

No, that's exactly what happened. It gives all the context. What's your dad's name again, Che? The American version of the Chinese version. Chinese version. Chung Kong. Can you do son of Chung Kong? I, Steve K., son of Chung Kong.

Are you ready to hit send on this? Go ahead. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, they're right. They're right. I can't let you. Don't change it.

Nick, don't let him change it. What a day. The parking spot. The parking spot. The parking spot. Wild. I would like to add in a sentence. What?

There's only 14 characters left. I am now just a regular employee at Barstool Sports with an assigned parking spot. No. No. You don't have an assigned parking spot. That spot was for the VP of football operations. It is no longer your spot. You cannot have an assigned parking spot.

We're going to take down the sign as soon as this ends. Fine. I'll change the sign. No. You can't have a parking spot. There's no assigned spots. I don't have an assigned spot. Cliff D. Martino, I know you're watching this right now.

I need that sign down right now. You need to send us video of you taking that sign down. It's like the Berlin Wall going down. Cliff D. Martino, tear down this wall. Yeah. Did anybody know of this sign other than you two? No. I don't know.

No. I'm sure. Of course you don't. All right. No ads. No ads to what I wrote. I think you might have spelled Scrutinous wrong. I thought I did, but I don't think so.

It's fine. I don't know if that's a word. I just don't know how to spell Scrutinous. Well, that is Double Jeopard don't think so. It's fine. I don't know if that's a word. I was going to ask about scrutiny. Well, that is double jeopardy. We can get him for that. Regular employee at Barstool Sports. And I'm going to write still employed. Oh, there might not be a word

scrutiny. It's probably not a word. Scrutiny. S-C-R-U-T-I-N-O-U-S? That's fine. Okay. Okay, you're not adding anything, right? He's adding still here. I'm going to put still employed.

Still employed. What does the end say? Well, it says I am now just a regular employee of Barstool Sports, and he wants to add still employed. Well, it's implied when you say I'm. Yeah. I am still an employee. If it makes him feel better, to add still employed. Well, it's implied when you say I'm... I'm still an employee. If it makes him feel better, fine.

Still employed. Send tweet. Send tweet. What are you thinking? It doesn't fit. It doesn't need to be there. You're still employed. It says you're still employed. I am now just a regular employee. I put an asterisk.

I am now just a regular employee at Barstool Sports. What's the asterisk? I feel like that looks better. What? No. No. No. This is an official No. No. You can't just throw it out. He's gonna just add an asterisk later. Wait, do you mean it looks better? Yeah. I love the

And after I hit send, this is never We're going to the playoffs. We're going straight to the playoffs. Never spoken about. Ever. And Double Jeopardy, this is never... We're going to the playoffs. We're going straight to the playoffs. Never spoken about. Ever. And, Double Jeopardy, I can never be accused of this crime again. Unless you commit it again. Yeah, this specific crime... If you commit this crime again, it's a whole new investigation.

Okay, and no matter what... It's not like you kill one person, you're like, well, now I can kill two people. I got off line. OJ can't just go kill everyone. Yeah, right, right. No matter what, my job is safe. Your job is safe. Your job was always safe.

I can't believe that. I'm sorry I had to explain that part to you. I've tweeted it. Okay. Let's see. I want to see it. Everyone retweeted it. And now I'm absolved of all crimes.

On this set of data. On all crimes. Wait, Steven. What other crimes are we talking about? Yeah, yeah. What? Steven's going to be like, all right, and here's my list of crimes. I cannot face any more scrutiny, and no technical legal action can happen against me. Correct? Correct.

I've dropped all lawsuits. Good, good, good, good. As it pertains to this. I feel like you have something hidden right now. And you will not be calling Eric or anybody else. I will not be calling Eric, but the good, good. As it pertains to this. I feel like you have something hidden right now. And you will not be calling Eric or anybody else. I will not be calling Eric, but the sign is done. The sign's down. Okay.

Yeah. You don't have the title anymore. The sign is down, yes. And you do not have the title anymore. I have resigned. Someone said he needs to take it out of his Twitter bio. Yes, you do. Yes, absolutely have to.

Absolutely have to. No, no, no. You were just do. Yes, absolutely have to. Absolutely have to. No, no, no. You were just negotiating. I sent the tweet. Steven. All right, no, wait. Then I'm adding that job title to my Twitter bio? Yeah.

Steven, no, no, no, no. Steven, you were just negotiating. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What the fuck? This is amazing. You're confusing. You have to take it out of your job title.

Steven, you have to take it out of your Twitter. You have to. Wait, that has to just be a different Steven Che then because that's not you. That's not, yeah. Which Steven? Yeah. That's not you. Steven Che in Australia who is a graphic designer.

Okay, that's for him. Steven, you have to take it out of your Twitter. That's bullshit. You know that's bullshit. You resigned the position. We were still negotiating the terms. You were just negotiating the terms with me. You can put former. Misrepresenting. You can say former. You know that's bullshit. You resigned the position. We were still negotiating the terms. You were just negotiating the terms with me. You can put former VP.

You're misrepresenting. You can say former. You can say former. Former. You're misrepresenting the whole company. Former. Someone's going to reach out to you. Someone's going to be like,

I need to speak to the vice president of football operations at Barstool Sports. They're going to come across your Twitter, think it's you, and then we're in hot water as a company because you're... I'm trying to help you out in any way right now how many years did you have the title uh several months during no actual zero during no actual. He didn't even make it there. He was so close. He was so close. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh, my God. All we needed was four hours. Oh, I don't like this. Let's go to the playoffs. All right, so yeah. Yeah, let's go to the playoffs, guys. It's been fun. All right, yeah.

All right, here we go. Playoff time. Here we go. It's Steven fun all right yeah here we go playoff time here we go steven all right i hope to god you make a mistake in the playoffs yeah what were the we just opened up a whole new file investigation can we i'm curious about the tiebreakers because uh you said you went through all the tiebreakers for all the eight nine or nine and eighteen yes can you walk us through that to ensure that we have that correct that the seating we see would in fact be correct based on sure sure so falcons uh saints uh division

uh the falcons uh win both games against the Saints. The Packers won their division, so there's no tie right there. The Falcons had a better... Well, there is. Why would the Falcons be over the Packers? The Falcons, I believe, is better strength of schedule. Let me go in.

Based on your data, which is incorrect. No, no, no, no no no no no brandon brandon brandon brandon brandon that is fine we're in the playoffs uh no the um yes it is a um uh they actually play and the falcons win. Okay. Let's see these brackets. I'm already getting people emailing me about the job opening of VP of Football Ops at Barstool Sports. I need to find someone who looks like Che. How great would that be?

I just got a bizarro Che. Oh, my God. Oh, I actually know someone. Oh. Yeah. Here, he just resigned. He had to resign as VP of football. He screwed up.

Well, it's redacted, but there's a clerical error in the data. Oh, no. He had too many wins and too few losses. Yeah. Isn't this the one mistake that you can't make? Yeah. This is literally nobody cares about your actual picks. Correct.

They just want to see that you picked the right amount of games. Correct. He also, PFD, unbeknownst to us, had made a parking sign for himself at a parking spot at the new office. I respect that. Yeah, but it's gone now. It's collectible. It's never going to be used. He took the plea deal. That's Ernest Hemingway's saddest story ever written. Four words, or six words. For sale,

parking sign, never used. Yeah. Oh, no. Gotta get the LinkedIn. Gotta get former. It's to get the LinkedIn. Got to get former. It's former. The LinkedIn. This is the best.

It's a disgraceful day. He took the plea deal, though, because I said that I was going to hire the strongest lawyer I could find to open up an investigation into all his files. Mr. Portnoy? Yeah. It was going to be bad. It was going to be bad. I'm sorry to hear that, Steven. You can always be executive vice president of football operations.

Not right now. You can't. I actually am ready. I would like to say I'd like to make an announcement right now on the Yak. Because we now have VP of football ops opening, we can't have just go into the football season without a VP of football ops. So I am now going to hereby declare Benjamin Mintz the interim VP of Football Ops. Congratulations to Ben Mintz.

How about interim VP of Football Operations of the South? Yeah. Well, he covers all territories. I'm disappointed. We all are. I'm disappointed. Commander's making the playoffs. Oh, God.

I can't trust you. Can I throw an idea out there? Yeah. If he gets 10 of 14 playoff teams, he gets his job back? He can work back towards it. Give him a number. No, no. All right, 12.

10. 12. 11. 11 is a lot. 11. I'm not just going to hand this job out to anyone. It's Ben Mintz's job right now. 11 is good.

Yeah, so it's him. 11 out of 14. You need to give the interim a chance to become the permanent. Right. Exactly. So how does Mintz – like what can Mintz do? Nothing. You know what I mean?

What? Yeah, we've been asking ourselves that question too. Because the interim has to... You should have Mintz submit a playoff bracket right now. Right now. Before the first game starts. Right. If his bracket is more accurate than Che's bracket.

You think he's up? What? You think he's up? No, he's in Arizona. He's in Arizona. Okay. If his bracket is more accurate than Che's bracket. So probably not.

He keeps it. Yeah. Che, do you think Mintz could even do what you've done here, even that percentage of what you've done? Do you think? I know you like him, but be honest. He can put together a playoff bracket for sure. But what about the regular season?

Probably not. That would be a little bit tough for him, but he's a capable boy. Okay. Playoffs. I'm not ready. I'm not here. I'm not in a position right now to announce how Steven can get this job back. He's going to have to put in work, years and years of work to try to regain this.

Years. You literally, if you came in right now and applied for the job right for vp of football ops i'd say what are your credentials and you say well i once was vp of football ops i was like so from when to when so i have like this summer i'd like so you saw no football never did a football you've never had to deal with a football season as vp of football ops you haven't you have no experience ben mince at 7 15 central tonight will have more experience in the job title than you do can he be the vp of pre-season football i'll consider it okay steven gets three weeks a year where he gets to just park in his spot that's fair no i said i'd consider it yes and the spot exists for the entire preseason and

training camp and off season no i'm no it doesn't exist the spot is crazy the spot exists clearly that was just a sign that's a sign that's not a spot where do you think it's going dumbass it doesn't exist yes It doesn't exist yet. It's not there. All right, just wait. No, it can't go up now. It will not exist. It will not exist.

It will never exist. It will not be there. The fact that we have a finite amount of parking spots there anyway. We have a ton of parking. And you decided to claim one is kind of crazy. I didn't make this. I greenlit it. But you could have.

I mean, that's... Hitler didn't shoot a gun in the war. Like, what are we talking about? But you have the Jets and the Super Bowl. I have the Jets and the Super Bowl, yes. Okay. The Eagles. All right, wait.

All right, wait. Wait. All right. So this is the bracket. Okay. So Bengals beat the Steelers. Yep. Jets beat the Ravens. Jaguars beat the Chargers.

Ooh, a little rematch, huh? Okay. And then you have Chiefs losing to the Chargers. Jets beating the Bengals. So Chargers and Jets in the AFC Championship game. Chalk in the NFC. In the NFC, yeah. You have the Eagles taking down the Saints. The Commanders going to Lambeau. Am I

reading that right? Going to Lambeau. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait! Wait! Why are the Eagles all the way up at the top? And then they're all the way. Oh, the re-seed. The re-seed. Oh my god. I thought? No, because. And then they're all the way. Oh, the re-seed. Okay, the re-seed. The re-seed. The re-seed.

Oh, my God. I thought he screwed up again. The Bengals were so excited. I was so excited for a second. That would have been incredible. Okay, so Falcons, Cowboys. How'd the Falcons get the three seed? Well, because they were the best 9-8 team. Yeah, but weren't the Packers 9-8?

Yeah, but apparently they played head-to-head. Strength of schedule. They did play head-to- play head to head and who won that game uh uh the falcons okay so is that in your data yes so who wins the super bowl here we go i'm having trouble The Jets. It looks like the green team. The green and black team. I guess they do have the same colors. The Jets, 34-30. The New York Jets.

Jerry's ghost. 18-1. Fucking shit. Or 15-1. I have them 30-1. I bet them right after Super Bowl 57. Wow. Before they had Aaron Rodgers?

Yeah. Wow. I can get a feeling. Wow. That's a great feeling. You they had Aaron Rodgers? Yeah. Wow. I get a feeling. Wow. That's a great feeling. You bet them 30 to 1? Yeah. As soon as we got back to the house in Arizona.

That's so smart. You could maybe be in a job like VP of football. Yeah, that really does show my vision. Just put that in the back of your memory. Okay, you know what? I'm ready to make a decision what if the new york jets win the super bowl you will become vp of football ops again who is just the p of football ops who is the president

i also want to do president just because dave is president of everything yes wait is there not a president no it's president of the company, and then there's VP. VP, yes. All right, so, Steven, that is it. If the Jets win the Super Bowl, you will then be declared VP of football operations. Can I request two wrinkles? No.

If the Bills don't make the playoff. No. I'm saying no. This is him. If the Bills don't make the playoffs. No. Or if the Commanders make the playoffs and win a game. No. Okay'm saying no. This is him. If the Bills don't make the playoffs. No. Or if the Commanders make the playoffs and win a game. No.

Okay. Fine. That was a great negotiation. How about, he's right, how about we, if the Bills don't make the playoffs, we have a review. No. Let's have a review. No. A hearing?

No. Again, he doesn't really have a spot. It's the Jets to win the Super Bowl. I appreciate that. The Jets win the Super Bowl. Stephen Shea. And it won't be a review or a job interview. It will just be the second the game ends, Stephen Shea will be VP of Football Ops again.

I love the idea of him having to choose between the parking spot or the title somehow. It's back to a level where he can pick one or the other. Well, the parking spot would be with the sign. But you can just get a sign that says your name. It's a crazy idea. Could you get another sign that just doesn't say that on it? Just says reserved for Stephen Che

or do companies not do that? It doesn't really have the same pizzazz. That's correct. He does need the pizzazz. We could just peel your name off of that sign and have it be empty. That was in metal. Yeah. I feel like you can peel the left off.

It's like an employee of the month spot. It's like whoever the VP of operations is. Did you think we were assigning every park? It's like there's like 40 parking spots. Yeah. I mean, we were going to talk about that when we moved in. you already had a sign made you went ahead and greenlit your sign who that's the most egregious thing explain to me who we is you and i and what would the conversation yeah what was the remember that title that i got i had a parking spot made for myself

how close you said we'd play a parking. Right. But again, I don't even have an assigned spot. No one has an assigned spot. I mean, if I'm being honest, I wasn't even going to drive in, so it was going to be more of a gag. He's just going to take a spot. Christ. I want to put this guy to trial.

I want to. Oh, here we go. We got new Stowe still blue coffee by the way pumpkin spice and apple crisp also uh so go buy right now so blue coffee.com i have two other flavors coming out for christmas and one of them is yak flavor yak flavor yeah so everyone besides steven shea will get uh part of the money that we sell. I'll give, I won't, what? Well, that wasn't part of the VV.

I quite literally work on that brand. Yeah, no, I know, but you can't. You're ineligible of any bonuses. Well, how? VV at Football Ops is the one who gets the bonus. You don't. All right. No, I'll give you a fucking, I'm going to give you a bonus, Stephen.

Jesus Christ. But yes, please go give you a bonus, Stephen. Jesus Christ. But yes, please go buy Money Goes to the Dogs. Some of the Money Goes to the Dogs, I should say. PFT and Leroy on the Apple Crisp. It is very delicious. PFT will get some of that money, too. And when we do the Yak Blend, everyone on the Yak will share in the money. I'll spread it around, except Stephen Che.

Yeah, perfect. Really successful data day for most of us. Oh, man. Yeah, it felt good. the yak we'll share in the uh in the money i'll spread around except steven chay yeah perfect really successful data day for most of us oh man yeah this is by far my favorite data day could not have gone better what percentage of us run the debt on that what percentage of us did not fuck up in the show today seven well let's include the boys um i'll include quigs and then as well so 90 90 pretty successful day that's a really good day for us minus steven what are you actually going to tell your wife that you've lost this job title yeah like but are you gonna say it in like sad tone? Because again, literally nothing about your life changes. Well, I mean the parking spot.

I was really looking forward to that. I know it would be cool to go in and be like, hey, look, this is my spot. It only works for Steven because anyone else in his spot right now would be like, okay, yeah, I don't have this fake title. Like, nothing changes, but you're hurt. Yeah, I was going to have, like, business cards made. I was going to get... Oh, no.

The power that goes to his head is insane. It's fair. Like, I mean, the email said no more titles. So, Schefter did tweet when he got the job. Yeah, I'm going to have to have it. Oh, Schefter. Oh, no. the job yeah I'm gonna have to have oh don't do that don't do that don't wait oh no Brandon good call Brandon don't do that wow don't do that that's that's a bridge too far again after I sent the tweet this was nothing else

that was it but Schefter's Cat, don't do that. Don't do that. But Che, don't you want the journalistic integrity to stay alive? No, nope, nope, nope. You'd rather Schefter take a ding on his reputation? No, he doesn't have to report on everything. He does, that's journalism. Reporting the hard stuff, the stuff you don't want to. It's better him tweet it out than somebody else steal his scoop.

Is Schefter not picking up your phone call it's football yeah he's probably yeah that's true he could be flying somewhere all right i'll make sure that he uh is no no no don't do that why and i might you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna get him to read'm going to get him to quote treat it, and then I'm going to make the quote treat a picture, and then I'm going to put the picture as a parking spot and assign everyone here a parking spot. So it will be the Schefter picture and then your name underneath, and that will be your parking spot. So every day you can come in and be like, oh, yeah,

Steven isn't VP of football. Still get your spot. Yeah. Oh oh my gosh steven you see that you seem overwhelmed by the negative here that's just the loss of arbitrary status badges you still have the You can still win all your picks. Yeah. It's true. It's true.

It's all about performance. Who cares about the title? Yeah. I'm very excited for football. Minor setback for a major comeback, you know? Oh, yes. This is just a little bit of adversity. Yep.

I could be a roofball world champion in two weeks. Thank God Gil Brandt. That's a better title. Is that not a better title? Too soon. He was 91. Yeah, great guy. If you are a Roofball World Champion, are you getting a parking sign made with that on it?

Certainly under consideration. I don't want to put the horse on it. Is that not a better? I would say that's a better title to me than VP of. Because, yeah, you went out and earned it. You went out and earned it. Well, I mean, I've been working hard here for almost seven years. You're a very hard worker.

I've always said that if we could have a company full of Stephen Chays, we would get so much done with no humor involved. We would. We'd be the most productive company ever but there'd be no entertainment but it would be just so i can take a joke no because you're if it was all steven chase oh your entertainment is you being mixed with regular civilians so to speak like if it was just all aliens you'd be like well this is weird yep okay that's fair you're great you were great to mix in sure yep your brain sure but we would be very efficient yep that's a fact steven is a diligent diligent worker hard worker

always doing more than asked sometimes screwing well no i can't even say it i'm not gonna say it no it's done it's done yeah steven where would you rank this uh oh oh oh oh chef d hold on hold on hold on all right hey we're we're still live it's did you see the news he uh let me just see this hold Hold on. He is resigning. Chef D, don't do it. Don't do it, Chef D. He's resigning as VP of football ops. He did an entire – he did the data for the entire season

where he tried to predict the entire season, every team's record, and at the end he had 10 more wins than losses, so it didn't add up. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you want me to say you could just quote tweet it and say uh this is shocking news or uh what do you what do you what should what don't do it don't do it because he he he loves the fact that you tweeted the original hiring of him as vp

at football ops so we need to kind of close the door and just acknowledge that you've seen this and it's been reported. So you want to just retweet it? Yeah, you could just retweet it. Or you could quote to it and say, I'm confirming this report through multiple sources. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. There we go. Yes, that's perfect.

Multiple sources now confirm this development. Yes. Thank you. I'm going to take a picture of that. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you, Chef D.

All right. Happy football. See ya. This has been the best day ever. Yeah. Oh, man. I am going to make that cliff. If you're listening right now, if you could just make that as a picture on a parking sign and then put everyone's name, we'll have everyone have parking signs with that as the picture.

Multiple stores now confirmed this to be so. Oh, no. No, he was quick with it. That's shocking this is truly shocking stuff it was the best of times it was the worst i'm just so happy because like like i said at the beginning like we've been doing data It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. They made the football. I'm just so happy because, like I said at the beginning, we've been doing Data Day five years now, and it's like, is it going to still be the same thing? And what a twist this year.

Best one yet. Oh, by far. By far. Oh, man. All right, any last words before we spin the wheel, Stephen? Go Jets. Okay, yeah. You need the Jets. you need the Jets.

You need the Jets. Jets win the Super Bowl. That will be an awesome rainfall. Jets, Bucs, Super Bowl, who are you cheering for? The Bucs. Okay. Everyone just replying, whoa, what happened? This is crazy.

Shakes things up. Shit. It all happened so fast. John Rich just said such a shitty and tone-deaf tweet for people that lost their jobs. Oh, that's great. That's great. We're full circle. We're full circle.

Oh, man. Okay, spin the wheel wheel what a dad today i'm gonna be laughing about this the parking spot i could live without the chefty the chefty tweet is that hurts the best part about this is like you're gonna have to you're gonna go home to and you're gonna actually tell your wife this like it's right my parents are coming out we're driving you're gonna to have to, you're going to go home and you're going to actually tell your wife this. Right, my parents are coming out. We're driving. You're going to have to break it to them? Well, they also checked my Twitter. They're going to see this and be like, what the hell happened?

I'm going to do the same. I'm going to go home and explain to my wife. She'll be like, what are you talking about? I'll be like, the craziest thing happened at work today oh fuck alright Steven any last words oh no what what

what does it say Mike Trout, just text him. What'd he say? Sent me the tweet. He sent it to the group and said, what do we got? This is unbelievable. Sorry, sorry. I guess I have to explain this to everyone in my personal life.

In your personal life? I'm not going to tell Mike Trout's in your personal life. Holy shit. It's also very funny because, like, I don't want to tell Mike Trout how to operate this fantasy league, but you're the commissioner, right? Yes. And you're not a VP of football ops of anyone. I was a VP of football ops last year when I was. Right, but what qualifications do you have to be a commissioner when you've been stripped of this title?

Like, again, I'm not going to tell Mike Trout what to do, but it feels like this could be a snowball effect where you start losing titles left and right. I think those guys would be in a pretty tough spot without me. Okay. We thought the same. We thought we wouldn't know what was going to happen in this upcoming season without you. Football season.

Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Okay. Oh, Nikki the Good said, does this mean there's a role available or no? Asking for a friend. Oh, man. I have to redo the High Noon ad. It's time to load up the ice and break out the oversized lawn games

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and we're happy to have them. Now I don't know, like... You are devastated, and it's so funny. Shocking. Personally, I am a bit, but I can recover. I can bounce back from this. I am impenetrable. Oh, my God.

TJ, can you put the Sto Blue Coffee link in the chat for people? Please like the chat, subscribe. We should do a sub-a-thon, by the way. Donnie's crushed yesterday. Shout out to the chat for all their help today. Is there a part of you that wishes you would have let the investigation play out to see if it would have... It would have gotten ugly.

It would have gotten really ugly. There's got to be. I would have hired oppo research. I would have had people tailing you. Yeah, that probably... It would have gotten very ugly. Yeah. Yeah, it probably wouldn't look too good.

I would have used every last dollar to bring you down. Yeah. Wow. I feel bad. I feel terrible for you because I know this is destroying you. Partially. But you have to remember that you're in a very good spot. Look at that.

That's what we're saying. That's why. I'm hosting a pregame show tonight. The PFD is going to be on. So, yeah. Come back stronger next year. Plus also, titles were wiped out per the email last week. Well, this is how this whole show started when I said that.

And you're like, no, I still have mine in my contract. So, we know this is just a spin zone by you that you don't believe. Yeah, I guess if you never brought that up. Yes. I think it would have pretty much come out. spin zone by you that you don't believe. Yeah, I guess if you never brought that up. Yeah. Yes. I think it would have pretty much come out with the clerical error.

Oh, man. All right. What a yak. This restored my faith in humanity. Like, everything feels, I'm ready for football season now, knowing that we stopped a tyrant. Yeah, we stopped a tyrant before it got out of hand. Agree to this. No.

You're 0 for 100 on negotiations with me. Jets won the Super Bowl. I am VP of football operations permanently, and that cannot be taken away. No. Why? Because you could fuck up data day, and then people are going to start saying,

Big Cat, what are you doing? You got data day all wrong you got your vp of football i'm embarrassing you and then i gotta tell dave everything this company has been built on gets completely wiped away because you can't add and subtract in your data cells i can't take that risk can you imagine steven if you didn't resign and like espn and like the new york post Post and the New York Times got a hold of this story. Actually, the New York Post probably would. Yeah, we would have been fucked, dude. Dave would have had to fucking sell the company for 50 cents. We would have been fucked.

We would have been fucked. So you should consider yourself lucky right now. You stopped probably the biggest hit piece that Barstool could have ever had. Right. If you sold it for 50 cents, you're still getting 2x profit. That's true, but no, you'd have to split it. You'd have to give a quarter to Penn. Yeah, a literal quarter.

50 cents. Yeah, wait. That's not 2x, $1. Again, this is your data. That would be. That's the data. If you buy something for $1 and then sell it for 50 cents, you do not 2X.

Well, 200%. If your investment is a dollar, and then you get a 50 cents for the... And then you sell it for 50 cents, you have just lost half your money. You have not 2X your money. Yes, yes. We're saying the same thing in different ways

we're not saying the same thing at all we're saying i'm saying he would take he would lose a massive amount of money on a large scale you're saying he would double his money and would become yes yes those are two different things sure sure sure sure all right thank you everyone for watching the act what a dad a day we just did it we just did it yeah we did it tj tj stuck it in quick kate that cake was phenomenal it looks good phenomenal just a cake yes a cake for a random ass cake yeah you didn't have any significance whatsoever thank you so much you just brought a cake for us are ass cake yeah you didn't have any significance whatsoever thank you so much you just brought a cake for us are we still doing this next year data day with scores yeah okay yeah

yeah of course okay we you you didn't go to trial so you you've resigned in disgrace but you didn't okay you can't be accused of like when we do this do this next year, we won't bring it up. We might allude to it. Okay, fair. Heavy allude. Fair. All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. Please subscribe.

Happy football season to all who celebrate. And just know that Barstool Sports is in good hands. Ben Mintz has replied and said he can add and subtract. Fantastic, yeah. He will be great for the job. Hopefully he'll go from interim to permanent VP of Football Ops. See you everyone tomorrow.