The Yak - The Big Short: Rone Is Going Pant-less This Winter | The Yak 11-5-21

Episode Date: November 6, 2021

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For a while it's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to sock shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the act. Oh, fuck. Adam? I'm shorted up.

The big short is on today. I told Owen earlier, I want to wear shorts throughout the entire winter time. Last year I did iced coffee through the whole winter and it was the best decision I ever made. That was the best decision you've ever made. I've ever made in my life. You just got married. Why don't you go black, brother? A lot of things pale in

comparison. I want to be the kind of person who can just show off the fucking stems all wintertime. My uncle used to pick me up from the airport in Chicago, and it would be like 10 degrees and freezing. And he would come out with some fucking shorts on, and I was like, that's what a man is. You said that you were going to wear shorts all winter like a couple months ago. And they were like, no, he's not. And I was like, Ron's honest. Well, and how long have you known me?

Nearly a decade. God damn, nearly half a decade. And then Sass 100% co-signed it. And here you are. And everyone else fell in line. Oh, dude, I just flexed my leg so hard I almost fucking got a cramp in my cap. Before we get to how honest I truly am,

we've got to acknowledge Sass's voice because people will make up their own opinions on shit real fast unless you tell it like it is. And unless you want to put out like a 10-minute video about it, I feel like you're just saying up front. I'm having a bad hair day, to be fully honest. But, yeah, I have no voice. It's actually a lot better right now than it was yesterday. You sound terrible.

And you weren't going to come in, but we promised to not make you the focal point and make you talk too much so only when a guy who doesn't break a promise that's right that is right so don't you don't don't have to talk if you don't want to uh no i'd love to i gotta work work out the chops I think only talk when you have something really good to say, because I do not want to listen to that too much. We had our live show two nights ago, and I thought it went swimmingly. Yeah, I thought it went well. We had two hecklers in the crowd. There was a girl, and then there was a guy.

And so it just turned into like a he said, she said kind of thing. I hate he said, she said. I truly hate he said said she said. I truly hate he said she said. It was funny yesterday, though. We rode the train back and just like one honesty tweet after another came in. And it was just so funny. Because I saw online that people were like, there must be some PR firm that's telling everybody to say. I was checking my email to see if we got an email with a script.

Am I supposed to say that Dave's honest? But there wasn't. Can one of those people just use a thesaurus? Truthful. You're looking for a word other than honest. And TJ, we're not trying to pile on you right now. Oh, TJ. Can we get an honest cam? There he is. And TJ, we're not trying to pile on you right now. Oh, TJ.

Can we get an honest cam? There he is. TJ did use a thesaurus, though. He said Dave was unequivocally. Oh, yeah, you did use unequivocally. I had to spell check that. That's good. You don't want a typo.

Dave's always confiding in you, though, TJ. I know that for a fact. And you always have to wind up being the arbiter of whether he is honest or not and in your in your history he's been straightforward yeah every time he's called me a fat fuck he was telling the truth yeah yeah it was a lot of people who he's called fat um and even meaner things yeah mantis put out a statement he was just like dave's never never been anything but respectful to me and he calls him dukes had one as well and uh yeah he's just been called the r word

now as soon as everything uh came out i was just like, I need to hear what Dukes has to say with two zeros. Set the record straight, Dukes. He just got ratioed, though. Did he really? Yeah. My top reply was like, oh, wow, he's innocent. And Brandon got the brunt of it. Brandon's on leave of absence.

That was the best. Brandon got the brunt of it. Brandon's on leave of absence. Caleb was the first one in. Caleb came across first and was like, Dave's honest. Because Dave said in his video he was honest, and Caleb said he was honest. But then everybody else, it's almost like they were just kind of trying to echo that sentiment, but they echoed it verbatim. It was just like, we're incapable of thinking for ourselves, almost. But I think that,

I mean, obviously, the piece was pretty transparent in what it was trying to do. Yeah. Pretty obvious smear campaign. Just a funny reaction. I thought KFC's tweet about it was pretty funny. KFC's tweet was great.

What, dude? KFC's tweet was it was pretty funny. KFC's tweet was great. What, dude? KFC's tweet was great. It was hilarious. It truly was hilarious. Yeah, Brandon got bodied badly by the people, though. Yeah. Yeah. I wish Stephen Che was in today.

I know. His podcast, Fantasy Football Factory, his podcast, it has been for a long time. They put up a quote of Ben Mintz. There was a Ben Mintz quote about having a running or scrambling quarterback that I need him to explain to me. Damn. What was the quote? If you have a quarterback that can run and score touchdowns, it's like liquid gold. Why would you have to say liquid gold?

Because you can drink it, and it's worth a lot. Liquid gold is like comparing something to gold. This is like a double comparison. It's like comparing liquids to gold. It drove me crazy. Yeah, it's expensive liquids. And so he said that he meant that it's like good in two ways. No, I don't think so.

Well, you're getting passing yards and rushing yards, I guess, is his point. So it's like liquid gold. I think he just loves liquids. He's just obsessed with liquid. He can't get enough of a sweet fucking liquid. To a fault. To a fault. Yeah, he loves liquid to a fault.

Ben Mintz in his video about Billy's football about hiding ice cream was really funny too. Yeah. Good on him. Scoot your chair up a little bit. I feel like I have to fully turn my head around to look at you.

This is why Big T doesn't like when people sit here. Because he doesn't like whipping his head? Let me just move there. Is it better for the shot? What's better for the shot, Teej? Big Teej? Because he doesn't like whipping his head? I'll fucking whip it. Want me to just move there? Nah. Is it better for the shot? What's better for the shot, Teej? Big Teej? Big Teej.

Sure, move. Oh, Sass doesn't have his headphones on. He said sure move. He said sure move. It's your move. After the show, we were trying to find a bar out in Boston, and Boston fucking sucks for the reason that everything closes at like 1 o'clock. It was a Wednesday. But they close at like midnight, and they say, oh, well, we close at 1. Yeah, I think that's whack.

I don't think that that's cool at all. I think that it's actually bad. Yeah, a major city that closes relatively early. I wasn't going to go out. I have no... They've always been known for that. I did. Why?

Why are they like that? Don't know. The next morning, though, we did see a guy who was shit-faced at nine in the morning. They just have to... They're going to get it in in Boston, but they just have to start way earlier. I don't know if it's a drinking and driving thing, but we stumbled around. You acted like you were going to come out with us after the show for a little bit. Oh, yeah. I'm good at that. That's classic Nicky. I'm't know if it's like a drinking and driving thing, but we stumbled around. You acted like you were going to come out with us after the show for a little bit.

That's classic Nicky. I'm good at that. I've had scenarios. Nick and KB do the same thing. I've had scenarios where I've gone out with KB and I'll go to the bathroom and I'll come back. He's just gone. Oh, yeah. Really? No, but after the show, I was like, boys, I want to ride this high. I got to let the whistle. We walked to one place and you're like, oh, it's not open?

You went home, and KB acted like he was going to come out, went to the next place, wasn't open. He was like, ah, I'm going home. Well, because Jake wanted us to go to Southie. Fuck no. We're not ready to brawl out. I can't even hear my, I don't even like listening to myself talk. Yeah, it's so grating. Wait, grating.

Grating. Simultaneously. But we stumbled and we kept on looking until we found one bar that said it was a dive bar and that it was open until 2 o'clock. And we got there. And it was a place called Biddy Early's. And they said we can't come in because they're having a private party they were having a industry only party but then as we were getting kicked away I was like what can

I do can I pay extra can I pay for these guys to get in like uh Alfred to to suck off the bar the bouncer's penis and everything was debunked but then at the last second the bartenders were like they they recognized uh I guess Sass or something like that. And they brought us into the bar. No, it was you. His words were roaned? It was definitely you. No hubris.

I'm trying to wean off the hubris. But as we got in there, they showed me a text message that they had said. And they're like, imagine Nick and KB try to come to the bar tonight and we're closed. We have to turn them down. And we have to turn them away and it almost happened. They were like, yeah, one degree away.

Playing it with the contingency of Nick and KB coming into the bar and it was fucking awesome and it was like, this is the Boston that I wanted. It was weird though.

It was like a bunch of old rich dudes. One of them was like kissing Tyler Miller's neck. And he was like a billionaire and they're like, he was like a mafia billionaire. He was kissing Tyler. That's not assault. That's not assault. He just came up out of nowhere and kissing Tyler Miller's neck. And he was like a billionaire. He was like a mafia billionaire. That's not assault.

He just came up out of nowhere and kissed him on the neck. Tyler was pissed. Yeah, Tyler was looking for fights the entire time. Tyler Miller's, I mean, he's like, when you boil it down and put him in the environment, he is a very Boston guy.

I never noticed him until he said he was from Worcoston guy oh yeah yeah when he i never noticed him until he said he was from he was like i'm from worcester and then you kind of like look him head to toe oh you look exactly how you're supposed to be in boston tyler is uh he works with son of a boy dad and anus and he's like one of the most hard-working uh he's a penn State guy, also a Boston guy. Just a hard working, grueling Boston boy. But he came out and just got kissed hard on the neck by all these industry billionaires

who supposedly have mob connections. What part of the neck? I didn't see the kissing going on. The nape. He was talking about it the whole night. He was really pissed. Where's the nape? It's like it the whole night where's the nape he was really pissed where's the nape come on

it's like the clitoris of the night yeah who knows but it was an annual party and it was the big dog would have it once a year for his wife

but she leaves right away and they keep going and we were there for that part of the night and they go kiss young boys all night they kiss boys. But they said they were mafia connected, though,

so they might kill us. But they said they listened to the Yak every day. So Biddy Earley's, shout out Biddy Earley's. Owen's rocking the hoodie. They gave us a gang of hoodies. They looked out for us heavy. There was a guy, he must have been a restaurant owner, but he was like, the whole conversation,

he was trying to manhandle me. He'd like shake my hand and like try to like shift my shoulders. And so I had to do it back to him. And we were like basically just like wrestling by the end of the night. Just like whipping each other around. And like at every inflection point of the conversation, I'd be like clapping him on the shoulder or like trying to adjust his body around. And he liked it. He offered me cocaine.

You said no. You it anyway but i said no i said no you misheard him and he said do you not want any cocaine and i said no we double negative into a stall together and uh suddenly you know i I posted an Instagram story today of the photo of us up on stage, and I said every group has one. I labeled me the jock, KB the brains, Roan the cute one, and Sass the throat goat. And Sass, you have shooters because everybody's like, Sass is not the throat goat.

My message is like, all right. That's the opposite of shooters, though. I don't know. They were just like, yeah. No, Sass is not a throat goat. I think that we should have reassigned, though. I think that Sass is the cute one. I'm actually the throat goat.

You're the brains, Nick. Actually, no. No, you were right with the other two. Yeah. You're the jock. I am. You beat KB in bowling. I did. I think we're all sneaky good at bowling. two. Yeah. You're the jock. I am. You beat KB in bowling. I did.

I think we're all sneaky good at bowling. No. Nah. No, no, no. I think I was the only one to break 100. You know who's sneaky good

at bowling? Wanton Don. Yeah, he showed up and we were 12 frames in. How many frames are in a fucking bowling game? No idea. 10, 10.

Okay, so we were on our second game right in the beginning. And Don, he just came and was like, you mind if I get a few rolls? And it was just amazing. And then I looked at him and I was like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

He looks like a bowler. He looks like he smokes inside. Yeah. He has the belly of a beer drinker. Though he's gotten slim. Yeah. He's slimmed down a little bit in Italy. I don't know what it is about Italy, but motherfuckers get slim over there. They do. I think it's because of walking.

They walk home from dinner or some shit like that. That's literally all it takes to get... Don't you walk in New York? Was that a distress signal? What? Rubbing your eyes? Yeah. Fuck.

I know that's a distress signal for my fucking boy, bro. Thank you. Fucking rub your eyes. Thank you. Fucking rub your eyes. Thank you. Dude, I heard this morning that depression is 60% hereditary and 48% environmental. Really? Doesn't that blow your fucking minds? Yeah, I read last night that more men wear bracelets than eat stew. 100% true now. I've got three on right now. It's the first year that happened. And I haven bracelets than eat stew. 100% true now.

I've got three on right now. It's the first year that happened. And I haven't had a stew. It's the first year bracelets have surpassed stew consumption. No way. I need to see your graphs. Yeah. Where are you getting these fucking graphs from?

TJ, can you search bracelets versus stew? It came out and I was furious. So I usually typically wear a bracelet. Guess what? Done. And guess what I had for dinner last night? Shepherd's pie? I had a sheppy bracelet. Guess what? Done. And guess what I had for dinner last night? Shepherd's pie? I had a Sheppie pie.

No way. A fat stew? The second one. Oh, the second one. That was last year. But now it's officially. Oh, Carolla was just predicting at the time. Carolla is a predictive individual.

That's the pinnacle of masculinity is eating stew. Yes. It's a heavier soup. It's so salty. Borscht is a beet soup. Oh, it's a soup? Yeah, it's kind of in a gray area. What about stroganoff?

Pause. What about a goulash? A goulash, a chowder. You could all throw that into stew. The realm of stew. Anything that's salt heavy and has stock. Yeah. But for those yak listeners, we need you to send us videos of you taking off your bracelets and getting a fork full of stew.

Show you're one of us. Dropping them into the stew? Drop them into this. Make bracelet stew. Show you're one of us. Dropping them into the stew? Drop them into this, make bracelet stew. Bro, you know what I read last night? That fucking, that Moaning Myrtle was just watching Harry Potter while he was in the fucking, he was just in the bath, and Moaning Myrtle was just fucking watching him.

Damn. Damn. Oh, God, I read that shit. I know, Sass has never read Harry Potter. No, I watched the movies. Yeah, you watched the movies. It's the most obvious thing of all time. I relate to nearly headless Nick.

Every weekend I'm so close to knock it and sucked. And then it happens. You got sucked on the train. Yeah, I got pussy on the train. You guys didn't even notice it. No, but we did leave the train and KB had a woman's hair on him. And we don't know how it got there. He got pussy on the train. You guys didn't even notice it. No, but we did leave the train and KB had a woman's hair on him and we don't know how it got there. He got pussied on the train. Definitely did.

He kept going to the cafe car. He kept doubling back at the cafe car. Coming back with a new strand of hair. He had a long hair. Terrible. So boring. I can't sit like that. I can't just sit still like that. Nah, that's one of my favorite things.

Swear. I could sit on a train for days. I know, you're reading your little Kindle. You take the train like home. I take it back to Pittsburgh. That's a quick 11 hours. What were you reading? I don't want to say because the people in chat will probably send me spoilers. Oh yeah, don't. Yeah, I did

it once. They ruined Wheel of Time for me. What happened? Don't worry, it's only fucking 15 books, all did it once. They ruined Wheel of Time for me. What happened? Don't worry. It's only fucking 15 books, all 500 pages. Oceara? Is that that? Oceana or some shit? What's that?

Am I making words up? Oh, yeah. What was the airline in Lost? Oceara? Oceana. Oceana? Well, that's a region, yeah. I thought that was Oceania.

What's Oceara of something of time? What am I fucking thinking of, TJ? Ocarina of time? That's what the fuck I'm thinking of. That's a Zelda game. Bro, my dog. I knew that you would bail me out. What games are you playing right now?

I mean, I've been into Valorant until the new fucking... No, you haven't. What are you talking about? You lie. What are you, Gold 2? You're not an honest man. Don't you say that That's why I didn't say anything yesterday Because I'm a known dishonest man

Yeah, exactly So if I had called a man honest yesterday People would be like, oh, he's dishonest Yeah I could have only double negatived into it And said that he's dishonest And then people knowing I'm duplicitous myself Would have canceled it out

And realized that he's honest Yeah, that is the only way myself would have canceled it out and realized that he's honest. Yeah, that is the only way you could have done it. Why don't you send that off right now? We'll wait. We'll cut to commercial. You can send off that. Yeah.

Come on. Tweet it. It was just incredible yesterday watching people drop. Just the drops were incredible. It was so funny. I was reading fucking... I read about fucking

louis louis the 14th through 16th uh this morning 14th is the sun king son that's you man oh yeah yeah he was the goat he was the actual goat was he good and then the fucking 15th he was like a little party boy he was just like oh i'm about to fucking whoopop it up. He brought a brothel to the fucking castle. He built a brothel right across from the castle. Had the hottest bitches in France. Spoiled himself rotten. And then the next one. I'd like to see what Ann Coulter says about that.

These prostitutes are whores. Yeah. Okay. I guess she's honest And then by fucking 16 They're like Oh we're donezo No more monarchy for the boys

And they fucking chopped him They fucking They chopped him? Yeah bro They fucking Bless you They put his They put his penis tip

On a fucking guillotine And circumcised him Yeah That'd be a better use for the A dick's a fucking guillotine and circumcised him. Yeah. That'd be a better use for the... A dick guillotine from circumcision? Yeah. A baby dick guillotine? I mean, why not, dude?

Why don't we have a baby dick guillotine yet? That's what I'm asking. Sass? The moils wearing, like, the big... Like, the thing over his head. You get red your charges before. More guillotines, less guido-tines, maybe. Whoa.

Yeah. Yes, brother. Wow, if you switch the letters around. Dude, I woke up with the... Well, she was 19. KB is not here due to a gag order. He couldn't be trusted. He couldn't.

He wanted to come in, but he's on suspension right now, unfortunately. For dishonesty. That's how seriously we take that. And also just for not coming to the boss man's defense fast enough. It's just like, we're keeping notes. There's an Excel spreadsheet that they're passing around in the office. Has vehemently defended boss man. Has called boss man honest yeah and uh your name's

in red if you're not uh on on the if you if you check off both boxes it's like the shitty men and media list i tried to get to the bottom of the shitty men and media list today i was reading reading up on it you had quite the morning dude i've been reading everything that's good i've been dumping fucking knowledge into my body just because I'm trying to supplement this show, dude. I'm trying to come with some shit. Were you reading on your phone? Not about the Louies, but they haven't published the— Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Is that edited? Was he bloated like that? Yeah, what the hell? He looks bloated and cross-eyed. The fuck? Did KP drown and not tell us? That's why he's always so wet. He's drowned. He's the ghost of a drowned man.

Depriving himself. He's got a little moaning myrtle in him. If we had to cast all of Harry Potter in here, he'd be moaning myrtle. He a little moaning myrtle in him. If we had to cast all of Harry Potter in here, he'd be fucking, he'd be moaning myrtle. He'd be moaning myrtle. There's no doubt in my mind.

You'd be Harry. I'd be Neville Longbottom. No, you would not. You'd be Harry. What? You would obviously be Harry of the Harry Potter world. And you're the

Radcliffe of the office. No. If we broke it down cash-wise, you'd be the one making a hundred million on the franchise. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. the one making a hundred million on the franchise. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And I have a little scar on my head. Do you? Yeah. Shut up. Uh-huh. Does it ever throb? Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah? Oh, hey, fuck off. You got a throbbing scar? Right on my forehead. Right on my foreskin. Just a throbbing foreskin scar. Harry Potter, man, if he had gotten that scar anywhere else, he would have been just a regular kid.

What's your favorite Harry Potter? Movie or book? No, he just wanted your favorite Harry Potter. I guess I'll go with Harry Potter. I guess I'll go with the boy wizard. I don't know any others. Roan? Same as Nick.

Scratching the back of my brain. All right, let's play who's your favorite Harry Potter. TJ, yours? The book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer, TJ.

Dude, they all kind of run together. I just kind of like them as a whole. I just like them as a unit. So you've never seen the movies? Or read the books? I was reading the books when you were wound up. And there's not a doubt in my mind. You were in your mother's stomach.

I was in fucking Azkaban. I thought you were going to say you were also in his mother's stomach. Reading Azkaban. Yeah, Azkang is out there. I think the fourth one, when it started getting real long. Actually, though, I thought Cedric Diggory was. Isn't the fourth one Prisoners of Azkaban? Nah, it's the third, brother.

Come on, dog. Goblet of Fire is the fourth one, bro. Thank you, Ron. But I thought Diggory was bitch made, though. I thought that it was just kind of a departure from... It was just a different game throughout the whole year of the book. I liked the accumulation of points throughout the entire time. But whenever the fucking...

On the last day when Dumbledore... It wasn't the first book, and he gives 160 points out to Gryffindor at the very last second. Imagine if you're in Slytherin, you have the fucking cup won, And he gives like 160 points out to Gryffindor at like the very last second. Imagine if you're in Slytherin, you have the fucking cup won, and the fucking referees change the score. Here comes Dumbledore again. Yeah, about to change the score for his little Nambla fucking boyfriend, Harry Potter. Yeah, right. Fuck out of here.

I just don't think he wanted to say Slytherin because he had a lisp. He didn't want to announce it. He definitely did. He'd clown him. Yeah, he would have shoved himself out of the closet. It's just not fair to the boys not fair to the boys in green. The boys in green. The boys in black and green.

It's like, there's definitely some people in Slytherin. Was everyone in Slytherin evil? No. They're just letting, it's like the evil class of the school. Harry Potter was almost in Slytherin. Do we have any Slytherins in the office? I mean, I'm Gryffindor, bro. No, you're not.

You're a Ravenclaw. You're Hufflepuff. I'm a Hufflepuff. You would be a Hufflepuff. Shut the, bro. No, you're not. You're a Ravenclaw. You're Hufflepuff. I'm a Hufflepuff. You would be a Hufflepuff. Shut the, what? What are you, sass? I don't know.

You're a Ravenclaw, dumbass. Who would be a Slytherin? At my sister's wedding, the groomsmen and groomswomen, or whatever the fuck, bridesmaids, people got ties for like whichever house you were supposed to be in. No, it's a perfectly normal thing for adults to do before a giant step in their life.

She's nerded down to the socks. But I was like the only person who picked Gryffindor because everybody's like, oh, I'm this, I'm that. I was like, no, I'll be Gryffindor. I'm fine with it. But if it was this often,

I would probably wind up being Slytherin. It's a fact, bro. Yeah,ffindor. I'm fine with it. But if it was this often, I'd probably wind up being Slytherin. It's a fact, bro. Yeah, you would be. It's fine. You would be in fucking Gryffindor if it was somewhere in this fucking... If it was this office. I'm trying to think who else, though.

That's like Gryffindor's known for bravery. I'm a well-noted pussy. Through and through. Big pussy. They would be in Gryffindor because they're known for bravery. I'm a well-noted pussy. Through and through. Big pussy. They will be in Gryffindor because they're known for honesty. Right. It's true.

In the most honest house by far. Brave and honest. Or is Hufflepuff honest? Hufflepuff actually might be honest. Honest and dumb. Oh, shit. Did we just get a wizarding passport? All right.

The yak is a hole. River, do we have to choose? These aren't like opposites. Forest, forest, forest, forest, forest, forest. I'm gonna go forest, I guess. We have to come to a consensus together on this. Toads. Owls or toads?

Toads. Toads, okay, toads, toads. You're going to toads. Owls or toads? Toads. Toads, okay. Toads, toads. You're going to toads. Wrong. A harlequin toad? Give us more options. No. Why not?

That dragon toad looked badass. Pokemon. Keep going, keep going. I want to see them all before we pick. Common toad. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yes. Common toad. No, no, Yeah, yeah. Common Toad.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, we're not on some sad boy shit. No, let's just beat Common Toad. We're the Common Man. By the Common Toad for the Common Toad. Part of your minds.

Change the pattern. Oh, no, no. Invisibility. Speak to animals. Superhuman strength. Change your appearance at will. Definitely not change the past because we don't know the implication that could have on the future. Yeah, invisibility.

Invisibility is wavy and reading minds, but that might be too much. That would be too much. I wouldn't want to read minds. No, no, no. That would be the worst. Yeah. Yeah, let's go with invisibility. Invisibility. Good answer. In, no, no. It'd be the worst. Yeah. Yeah, let's go with Invisibility. Invisibility.

Good answer. Invisibility. Yes. What's that say? Muggle confronts you and says, they are sure you're a witch or wizard.

Do you? They have to die. Yeah. Yeah, we gotta fucking Where's die? It's hard to read. I need the blind mic font to read this shit.

Little white outline. Yeah, that did make it easier to read. It looked the blind mic front to read this shit. Little white outline. Yeah, that did make it easier to read. It looked like 3D when I was reading it. Agree and walk away? No. Were there any girl Quidditch players? Were there any fly bitches? You know, I sure think there was a free sample of them.

Oh, my God. Tell me that you're worried about their mental health. No, definitely not that. We're not about to gaslight them. How about the third one? Not this one, my God. Tell me that you're worried about their mental health. No, definitely not that. We're not about to gaslight them. How about the third one? Not this one, this one. Free jinx. How about a free jinx?

You think so? Marty mushed their ass. What is this? Once every century, the flutter-by bush produces flowers that adapt to the scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of... What the fuck was that sentence? Lured you. The sea, home, crackling log fire.

Definitely not the sea. You think we smell like some rank pussy? Probably fresh parchment. Or what else were you... Like the crackling fire. Okay, crackling fire. Nah, because that would just smell like any burning bush. Why would that draw you in?

And home is like, that's dead skin cells. Like, I don't know what the fuck people want to smell like home for. Your home smells like home because you didn't wash your hair and you fucking sat on the couch. Fresh parchment, bro. Fresh parchment. And not like a library book either, because that's dead skin cells too. Rolling papers. After you've died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?

Ask for more stories about your adventures. That's pretty good. That sounds pretty sweet. Miss you but smile. Think of you with admiration of your achievements. Foment revolution. Ooh, I like that one. I don't care what people think of me after I'm dead.

It's what they think of me when I'm alive that counts. I like that a lot. No, no, I don't like that one. I don't like that one. I want them to tell stories. I want them to knob me off and be like, oh, he was the fucking goat. I don't want them to Sir Isaac Newton me and be like he was a verge. I'm not trying to get posthumously verged.

Yeah, that would be horrible. I want more stories about the adventures. Sure, okay, let's go with that. That. Would you rather be liked? This is long. Trust. They just put a hat on those boys.

Trusted, of course. Envied. Imitated? Praised? Probably liked. Trusted is an honest man. Feared, though. Feared is way sweeter.

We'll go with liked for Nick. Thanks, man. Oh, there it is. And then it all comes down to heads or tails. Tails never fails. All right, let's go heads. Yeah, let's go heads. Let's go heads. Yeah, let's go heads. Let's go...

Can we redo this? Gross. That's the worst one to be. Is it because we were the common toad? Yeah, it was the fucking common toad. God damn it, dude. That's so... This is so pussy.

This is so pussy. Who was in fucking Hufflepuff? They had the fucking wackest names Everybody in Hufflepuff had fucking Deadass Cedric Diggory Was he? Yeah No he wasn't

Yeah he was Was he actually? I think so Damn Neville Longbottom should have been in Hufflepuff I don't know why he wasn't He was the bravest of the brave No

I just I haven't seen him in a long time. The bravest of the brave. Did you actually start re-watching that? I watched the first, I watched the second one yesterday. Yeah? Yeah, it wasn't great. It didn't hold up?

Yeah, I guess not. You want to write? I love those movies. Why? They're like comfort movies. Yeah, they taste like a stew. They taste like a stew. They taste like a stew. It is.

It makes me feel good about myself. It makes me want to slip my bracelets off and fucking eat some stew, watch some Harry Potter. I need to watch some fucking adventure movies, bro. I've only been watching fucking romances, and I need to get into fucking adventure. What about a romantic adventure?

Does that exist? Does that even happen? Secret Life of Walter Mitty? Falling in Love is the greatest adventure a man can have. Yo! What the fuck, bro? You're singing to the wild? Yeah, that's kind of a man falling in love with himself.

No, it's an adventure. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Yeah, I saw it, and I liked it. It came out in a time in my life where I really needed it. Let's go to MovieRankings.net.

Fuck off, TJ. What was TJ? Hufflepuff cam? No, TJ, don't play us like that. We are not Hufflepuff. Are there any romantic adventures on MovieRankings.net? Can we scrub this from the, can we delete our show history? Can we scrub this show from the internet after delete our show history? Can we scrub this show

from the internet after this? I don't want people knowing I'm Hufflepuff. I know. And also, can we go to MovieRankings.net? I just need to find some romantic adventures.

I think I looked for that one time, and they gave me Midnight in Paris. Go to the filters. That's not... Is that an adventure? Barely. It's like fucking

an adventure of like... Busted-ass proportions, bro. Brandon just sent us a picture of he's flipping off the TV screen watching us. Hey, Brandon. I fucking,

whenever I would watch, I'd support Brandon. I know. He's probably just jealous we're hanging out with you, Nick. He pussied out of his own show last night. Yeah, because

he was getting too much negative feedback. A little sick boy. He was. He was like, much negative feedback. A little sick boy. He was. He was like, I don't want to take any calls. Dishonest-ass Brandon. I'll never call Brandon honest. That's one thing I know for sure.

Says one thing and does the other. What is this? Jaws? Romance Adventures. Jaws? Jaws? Jaws? Romance Adventures. Jaws? Jaws? Jaws. Indiana Jones. Jones and Jaws?

Jones and Jaws. Notorious? Is that the fucking Biggie Smalls movie? Yeah. I guess that kind of is. You don't remember the scene in the Biggie Smalls movie where he, like, fucks some other girl and then beatboxes for Faith Evans? She's like, all right, fine. Call me by your name.

I don't care at all. Yeah, I guess call me by your name, Loki is. How's that in adventure? In adventure and sexuality, brother. Yeah. Adventure just isn't whips and chests. It's sometimes whips and chests. Oh, my god.

One of us has to come out as bisexual. Ever since Joe Budden came out, the fucking pressure's on us, dude. And that was yesterday. It's only gonna get stronger. I know. That's what I mean, bro. We need to act fast. Sass. Sass is bye.

Sass is bye sass is bye oh no you have something you want to tell us I think you have something you want to tell us I'm not about that shit bro what chicks

yeah well how'd the how'd the throat go get so uh so sore don't know do I hurt when I de-throat it do So sore. Don't know. Do it hurt when I deep throat?

It do. Shout out to Harlow, bro. We should get him on the show. Shout out to Harlow just fucking redefining beauty standards in men. Yeah, he's one hot ass dude. I know. But when people say someone's like redefining beauty standards, they're kind of calling someone ugly. Yeah.

And that's just whack. I think he's just genuinely redefining beauty standards. You see the video of when the woman was interviewing him and asked if he knew how to read? Yeah, yeah. Yes, I did see that. What does he say? You want to watch it? Yeah, let's watch it, TJ.

Let's just pull a bunch of shit up. Harlow's funny, bro. He makes me laugh, bro. The thing is, he's not classically handsome. What an insult that is. I know, I know. Classically handsome is a funny act. You know, the thing that's been ingrained in people's brains for thousands of years,

what's good looking? Is it because he has curly hair? Are they kink shaming? Because if they it's wrong let the boy fucking have some curly hair i'd never kink shame okay so that was the funny part I fucking love that guy bro TJ on the sticks Nah they fucked around

With my board before the show What? They were trying to train Somebody to fix it They did not fix it That's whack They unmodded it That's fucking

Not sweet at all So that's Roman Oh yeah I can't do that. Oh, you got to. Oh, you can. They should be paying half price for this read. Discounted ad reads.

We're about to have a Black Friday sale on ad reads. Sass just reads them in half voice. I don't have it. This is the wrong paper. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer, but thinking about Sass's shitty, stupid voice doesn't always work. Sometimes you'll just nut anyway thinking about Sass's raspy-ass Fran Drescher voice. I bought a nanny t-shirt today.

You did? I swear to God. Bro. Singularity, bro. The world is fucking... Goddamn. The Lord works in mysterious ways bro Talk to me about my cock

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A little bit of unicorn blood in it A little bit of unicorn blood in it. A little bit of dragon hair or whatever the fuck they put in it. It'll make you live forever. A little phoenix feather in there. Roman will make you live forever. On God. You will become a god.

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All you have to do is send in your just ever hard cock. You have to have proof of Roman, though. Yeah, take a picture of today's date, your face, the newspaper, a freshly ripped Roman swipe, preferably in a GIF or live picture, something like that, so we know it's not manipulated. And Sass, do you want that to your main or alt?

Alt. We were trying to grow the alt. What happens if the alt eclipses the main? It's not possible. Yeah, because all the good things from the alt are deleted and go to main. Yes, of course. I forgot you delete them from the alt.

Really? How fast do you delete them? 30 seconds. Really? And if it hits a certain threshold of numbies, if it crosses the bracelet stew line of numbies in the first 30 seconds, you'll know that it's going parabolic. Yeah. You'll know that the growth is exponential. Fucking exponential growth, bro. I fucking love that shit, bro.

Imagine a world where we can fucking genetically modify our brains to only be in a good mood. Are you imagining it? I can't even fathom. No? I think the world would be a bad place. I know. I think some people think that we'll be able to, the same way that we'll be able to genetically modify cancer out of our bodies,

that we'll be able to genetically modify our fucking top knot, our dome piece for some fucking, just being in a good mood at all times. It's dangerous. I feel like that's similar to weather, though. Like, you wouldn't want 60 degrees every day, would you? I mean, people live in San Diego. Not us. Happy people live in San Diego.

I know, rollerbladers. Rollerbladers, that's the happiest person because they look ridiculous and they don't care. And they're just rollerblading to go get some ceviche out in San Diego. It's always to get ceviche. They love ceviche. And it's good, don't get me wrong, but rollerblading to get ceviche?

I just couldn't. It just doesn't add up. I just couldn't do it every single day like they do. And I guess what, the acids cook the shellfish in the ceviche? That's what they say. But how acidic is it? And is that good to put inside your body if it's just cooking raw organs?

That's fast track to an ulcer. Yeah. Imagine the ulcerative colitis that would come from that. Yeah, you'd still be happy. Yeah. I don't think so. Not when you're fucking pockmarked with ulcers like a fucking leper. Yeah.

Like a fucking leper. Like a fucking leper. What are you doing this weekend, Sass? Nothing. Just going to lay in bed. Where I'm from, I don't know if they have it out here. They have little boxes in public. You can open them up, and there's little books inside.

It's a little library. Yes. Take a book, put it back. Never done it. I just like walking past them. Can you read? What the hell is this? Sorry, I meant, do you like to read?

I do. Where I'm from. What the hell is this? Sorry, I meant, do you like to read? I do. Well, I'm from the... What the hell is this? He roasted her, dumbass. So fast. I mean, what a fucked up question. Can you read? Don't ask Harlow that, bro.

My boy Harlow's well-read, bro. He's probably on his fucking Two Towers shit. He's probably reading fucking books on tape on the daily. Yeah. Probably read Colin Powell's book. Definitely did. My Great American Journey. Owen, are you wearing two sweatshirts?

I was curious about that as well. Yeah. I couldn't fit the second one in my backpack. Backpack. My backpack. All right. Remember when dudes would be wearing two polo shirts on top of each other? Yeah, at least two.

Yeah, some dudes stocked or stacked them. They would... Bro, we need to go to a urologist with Lil Sasquatch. We should do a live show at a urologist because during our live shows, first live show, Sas had to get up and pee in the middle of the show. Pretty unprofessional. Second live show, he had to get up to pee twice during the live show. Super unprofessional.

We're on stage for like a fucking hour. Maybe hold the pee inside of your penis For that amount of time I had to pee the second show Yeah But it's his biggest medical issue And it's the only one he doesn't freak out about Yeah

That's bad He pees like a fucking 70 year old man Who has His prostate is just Has to just squeeze it out His prostate is probably like Pat's nut His prostate is fucking There's no doubt in my mind, is completely overgrown.

Can you cut to Owen real quick? So Nick can get that yawn out. Get the yawn out. Fuck off. You know how they throw up? Oh, you can see me in the reflection yawning. Fuck. You know how the throw up sound makes some people throw up?

Yeah. The yawn sound makes some people yawn. Yawning is contagious, though. Yeah, but not the sound. No, it is. Our poor viewers right now. They're yawning up a storm. It's only for people with empathy, though.

Sociopaths don't fucking yawn along. Let's yawn in front of KB. Let's see what happens. Just like stand around him in his shirt. Oh, can we talk about his tacos? They little boyed our boy. They little boyed our little boy. Our little boy got fucking put on blast badly.

When we got to Boston, we're like, what's some fucking Boston-ass shit? We were starving. That could put us in the mood. Fuck. My bad. I wanted him to cut away. I don't want to do you like this. I don't know why I'm yawning so much.

I understand. It happens to the best of us. Now you're thinking about it, too. But maybe it means you're relaxed. Maybe it means you're distressed, though. I heard dogs yawn under stress. Is that true? true i heard it i don't know if it's true but um when we got to boston we're like we're gonna do some fucking sweet look at the wind in his hair uh sass looks like a scarlett johansson and marriage story i realized pull her up, please.

What did you say? You said you look like Joe Manjaro. Joe Manjaro. He said. I did text you guys before, and I said, to be fully honest, I'm having a bad hair day. Yeah, we knew you were being honest. I think people would be surprised to find out you use product every day. I'm having a bad hair day. Yeah, we knew you were being honest. I think people would be surprised to find out you use product every day. I do. And I did today, too, but it just didn't work.

When you were walking through the hall, though, the wind was kind of catching your hair. Because I had very, very straight hair. I thought it was giving you nice volume. I don't think it was that bad of a... Today I used a nice sea salt spray. Get a perm. No. I mean, she's got good hair.

Yeah, she does. I wish my hair looked like that. You got the same bags under your eyes. Just everything about her looks like you. I'm well rested today, actually, believe it or not. Got a good ten hours last night. Plump your lips out like hers, though. You got to out that's his end at snl he's gonna start fucking colin joe's yep that's it oh fuck damn that's good wait who's on snl this week kieran kieran colkin kieran colkin and ed sheeran straight out of covid wait did you see the ed

sheeran story where he's like everybody tries to look at my penis whenever I use a public bathroom? But he tried to spin it like it was big, like legendarily big. I think it's just because of Ed Sheeran's penis. And I don't believe him. He said that there will be a line of 20 urinals and that every single time someone will come up next to him just to have a look. Even if it's completely empty, someone will always come up next to him just to have a look. Even if it's completely empty, someone will always come

up next to him just to have a look. Fucking bullshit, dude. I want to get the shape of you. Let's see the shape of you. Hopefully it's a plus, not a minus. That's significantly worse than Nick's Ed Sheeran joke. I'm going to live with it. I just don't believe that

people are actually fucking birdwatching Ed Sheeran like that I'm going to live with it. That's fine. I just don't believe that people are actually fucking bird watching Ed Sheeran like that. What were you just doing? Me? Yeah. Were you trying to plump your lips? Tuck it up your bottom lip?

No, my lips are chapped. So I was giving him a good stretch. A plumping. Your hands in cam. I'm sick as fuck. And I come in. And you guys do this to me?

Are you sick or did you just lose your voice? Yeah, you keep saying you're sick. You were just screaming. When? At the show. But I was sick before that. But you had a voice. I did.

I had a sore throat, though. Are you sick or are you not? I woke up with a sore throat today, too, so I don't like you for that. Rowan, we can pull up the messages where I said, Do you want me to do Zoom mic? And then I said, Or do you not care about getting sick? And you said, I don't like you for that but um Rowan we can pull up the messages where I said do you want me to do zoom mic and I said or do you not care about getting sick and you said I don't give a fuck about getting sick because I'm a fucking warrior bro I'm in my fucking flu game right now and I'm fucking just playing through it bro yo you guys will all be sick by the end of the day oh god yeah once you have our kissing booth I going to be spitting in your boys' mouths.

When we got to Boston. That was a subtle one. When we got to Boston, though, we were like, we need to do some Boston shit. And we went to a seafood restaurant. Yeah. And I don't know if, is it like a very Boston thing? Boston just doesn't have a cuisine necessarily. Clam chowder, I guess. And I got some chowder, and I went out of my way to get some chowder.

But we all got fried seafood pretty much. Hulking plates of fried seafood. Oh, my God. Do we have a picture of this that we can pull up? Yeah, we are. Like big red baskets of fried seafood. And KB got the fish tacos. How much were they?

$22. $22. $22. They were more expensive than the things we got. And it was like somebody was feeding a cute plate to their very tiny dog. Yeah. Me and Jake got lobster rolls, which are traditionally very expensive. And these were cheaper than the fish tacos. Yeah.

And they were big. They came with, like, sides of fries and coleslaw. The works. And there's KB's little ass tacos. That doesn't even do it justice. It doesn't do it. There's a fork right there. Well, you should look at the wilted piece of lettuce that's bigger than it.

Yeah. Yeah. Or the text on the menu that's bigger than it. We always compare food to size 12 Avenir. Nick is a savant for fonts. He fucking can. You just love fonts. You have such a goodvant for fonts He fucking can You just love fonts You have such a good eye for fonts

You know what they all are I love discovering them too Finding new fonts Fonts daily own John Mayer's a big font guy too He's like one of his big peccadillos With album covers Is when people get like stock fonts

When they don't pay extra for the really nice font. Oh, yeah. I think he's tweeted about it before. But where do people go to get better fonts? Go to go. Is this an ad? Fontsquirrel.com is the place. Is that really it?

It's the font hub. Did you feel seen in the Ryan Gosling papyrus sketch? Yeah. I compare myself to Ryan a lot, though, so it wasn't anything new. Fair. He's your number one. Mm-hmm. Hot guy?

Number one hot guy? Yeah. I don't think so. He's not? Uh-uh. That's not what you said earlier. I'm going through Heavy O'Brien right now. Who?

Dylan O'Brien. Who's that? He's a smoke. He's a smoke. Dude, I fucking don't know any of the hot dudes these days. Yeah, that's how you know you're getting old, when you don't know any more hot guys. I know, dude. Dylan O'Brien is like the hot guy right now.

Is he the hot guy? It's like him and Timothee Chalamet. But Dylan O'Brien's not in anything anymore, is he? Oh, announced today. He's in Taylor Swift's short film. Okay. Starring. Swift is doing a short?

Mm-hmm. For All Too Well. Wait, so it's a music video? Yeah, she's calling it a short film. That's whack. He's also in The Wallows, right? Is Dylan O'Brien the one in The Wallows? Oh, there they are.

He was not happy. He even looks small. I was sitting there. I was on my phone, and Nick and Owen were sitting to the left of me, and you guys were crying, laughing. I was like, what are you guys laughing at? And then you were like, KB's Tacos. And I look over and I just burst in laughter.

I mean, that doesn't even do it justice. They were literally like. They had pretty pussy energy. There were those little. Yeah. Yes. It's talking about big time. They had white nail polish, pretty pussy energy.

And those were half the size of your boy's nut. No, no. Not even. No, no, no. All of them together. All three of them size of your boy's nut. No, no. Not even a little bit. All three of them were a quarter nut. We should have just gotten a picture and just posted it. I know. I'd like to replace my face on the graphic

with a cartoon of the nut. No, let's replace your face with that kid that died. Can we pull that one? 1961? Yeah. That did numbies. What if that out-numbied the hit piece? It almost did.

It almost did. What was it at when you last checked? R.I.P. to bro. Fuck. Yeah, zoom into my eyes And we'll explain the joke God damn it

Teenage height That's a teen Yeah I can't believe it But that did That almost did the numbers Of the fucking Of the hit piece Just shows how fucking

Whack and transparent That shit is But But yeah that's... I mean, his hair, his fucking... His frock is incredible. Yeah, that is nice hair. I think that's what they were...

That's why they compared him to you, Owen. It was the nice hair. No, it was the dimple chin, I think. Oh, it was the nice cleft chin. His hair was... He looked like Ricky Ricardo or some shit, bro. He was on some fucking Cuban. Do you have a Cuban in you?

Portuguese. Really? I knew it was some shit like that. Fuck. What percent Portuguese are you? You're the only Portuguese homie. 6.75? 6.75% Portuguese.

Okay. It'd be 4.125. You're a 20... I'm 1 16 6.75%. Portuguese? Yeah, okay. It'd be 4.125%. You're a 20... I'm 1 16th. 1 16th? Damn. Damn. All right, that's fire.

That is fire. That's very fire. Person of color. I think it's along to KB no swag. That's a 6. Hi, Jersey. How's it going with you and your family? Quick questions.

Do you know if KB is in defeat? And then she's going to a Ricky Martin. KB will be there, so that's good. I like that she didn't. She knows that Jersey Jerry likes white nail polish, and she felt like it would be misleading to paint her toenails white. So she went a different color. Telling, but also honest.

KB better respond. This is 6.8. You guys want a speed run Stephen Chase prep sheet? KB sounds just deafening. If you had a nice finished basement and could add in any three things, what would they be? Ski ball. Three ski balls. A flat screen TV, a convex TV, and a concave TV.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Some. Yeah. Some shit like that. Sass. What was the question? Three things in a basement? Yeah, name three things in a basement.

Build your man cave. You have $15. You have $15. Saturdays are for the boys flag. Yeah. No, that's included. Oh, okay. That comes with everything.

What font do they use on the knockoff Saturdays are for the boys flag? Is that Helvetica bold? No, I think it's... Oh, the knockoff. Oh, okay. That comes with every man cave. What font do they use on the knockoff Saturdays or for the boys' flags? Is that Helvetica Bold? Oh, the knockoff? The knockoff. Maybe Helvetica New, like, narrow, but I think we use Beavis, don't we? Yeah, we use Beavis.

The Beavs. The sportsbook, we use Big Noodle. For Saturdays or for the boys' stuff, or is it just... Just in general. Oh. We're a Big Noodle. That's fire.

Team. Now, build that man cave, Chaz. I would go PlayStation 5. Tiny screen for gaming. Mini fridge. Okay. And a tiny screen.

Why not a full-size fridge? Mini fridge. It's a man cave. Mini fridge, mini screen. Mini fridge. No. Because if you have a big fridge, the women are going to try

to put vegetables in it. Nothing's cooler than full-size fridges that are treated like mini fridges. The ones in garages. Beverage fridges. They're just all IPAs. How do you know about garages? You must be well-traveled.

Yeah. You've been west of the city. I've been west of the city five days in Chicago two summers ago. Okay. For work, though. What's your biggest gripe with the people of New York City? From the prep sheet. What's your biggest gripe with the people of New York City? From the prep sheet. What's your biggest gripe with people from New York City?

Sass, I'm gonna have to ask you from a friend for doing your whole 15 on this. The boys are yawning today! Get the fucking oxygen in! It was a long week. Was that a real one, too? Or are you forcing one out? You're trying to yawn along.

Worst part about New Yorkers? Worst part about, biggest gripe about the people of New York. The guy in front of me today on the escalator just stopped at the top. Who does that? Did he get off? Did he like take the next step forward? No. He just like he let it push him up onto the platform. He was just on his

phone. Just stopped. And I was like five steps behind. I just didn't know what to do. No way. I was coming straight for him. I don't mind like running into somebody in New York And I was like five steps behind. I just didn't know what to do. No way. I was coming straight for him. I don't mind running into somebody in New York. I'll run squarely into somebody in New York. I just don't care. I don't care anymore.

I mean, slow walkers. Yeah. Somebody walking wide. If someone's going serpentine, no one saw that. That was fucking ghoulish behavior. There's probably a ghost in here that just

knocked that down. How did that happen? Yo! What, bro? You are a Gryffindor. It's a dead giveaway. I wish there was a better sandwich place

in my neighborhood. That's my biggest gripe. Yeah. You don't like your bodega? With wealth tax, I guess. You said bodega with like a Barcelona accent. Bodega. Portuguese.

Oh, yeah, shit. Bodega. Borrega. What's yours, Owen? Biggest gripe. Get a gripe off your chest. Other people's gripes. Yeah.

Pet peeves. Just the fact that pet peeves exist oh i don't like uh people who uh call people transplants yeah when they just got here like two years earlier to go to nyu or fit that's just very whack whack just knowing places like oh i know this place this is a cool place to be fucking why oh yeah the people on tiktok could just list every bar in the city and say it's the worst bar yeah yeah that sucks i don't like people who uh post like they're they're like on tiktok never mind scratch it write it just write it down finish it up finish it up people who post the uh they're like, living in New York for one year with my best friends, and they're in penthouses.

And it's like, you're not living in New York. That's not the culture of the city. Well, it's not. You hate people with rich parents. And the funniest thing. They wouldn't last a fucking second in Duxbury. Do you guys know the nickname for his hometown? Deluxbury?

That's it. No way. What is your favorite smell that might not be classically thought of as a good smell? I.e. gas, tennis ball. Tennis ball containers is consensus good. No one dislikes that. It's unconventional. Shoes, etc. No one dislikes that. It's just unconventional. Shoes, et cetera.

Smell. Farts. Yeah. Or your own farts. Balsamic. You like the smell of balsamic? That's just vinegar. I like cilantro.

You like the smell of cilantro? I love basil. I love cilantro. I like just good smells. I'm pretty boring. Yeah. Pumpkin. What do you get for candles?

For candles? Yeah. I try to find a masculine scent. Sam, do you get the one that's a black candle? Yeah, it's like sandalwood. Sandalwood is the most masculine. Yeah, that's like the- It's like rowdy gentleman or something, and it's like mahogany pipe, and yeah.

Yeah, it's always like tobacco and like shaving cream. I like the Christmas ones. Pine trees. Yes. Those are nice. We should get a tree this year. We should get a Christmas tree. I got a tree my sophomore year of college and it was awesome.

The first at HQ2 there we used to have a fucking massive menorah. Yeah. It was fucking so big. It was just beautiful hulking menorah. I think they was fucking so big. It was this beautiful, hulking menorah. And I think they kept it up damn near year-round. We were fucking proud, and we still are. Do you prefer music during intimacy? If so, what type of music?

Jesus Christ. This is from Stephen Che. What? Something he was thinking about. The hell is that question? Yeah, he's about to fap off to the boys fucking talking about how they get intimate. Oh, yeah. Music.

Rowan, you're showing full cheek right now. Yeah, that's butt cheek. Dinge. Dinge alert. Bro, you know that the fucking. I mean, those shorts are high. Shut up, bro. I remember it wasn't.

It's a good November short. Yeah. It wasn't my first kiss, but definitely one of the first few. So I was not having sex. Yeah. And Holy Grail by Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake was playing. And the girl told me this is a terrible song to have sex with. And she left.

She was going to have sex with you? Fuck. The woman got away. Fuck. Until my cup runneth over. Holy grail. That is a bad song. And baby, I'm amazed

I'm still in this place with you. I'm embarrassed though if I put on a sexy song and then we have sex and that song's still on. It's like, oh no. When Justin Timberlake came out with Future Sex Love Sounds, every song was like eight minutes. Like, that's two nuts.

What are we talking about? It's a two-nut song. Eight minutes? You're fucking having a Timberland breakdown and I'm fucking going to the bathroom to get paper towels? Yeah. The fuck? What's going on right now, Timberlake?

Just kidding. I was not fucking... What's the best song to listen to in a car while driving with the music up loud? Jay. Jay. You're so bad. I just want to turn up the music

and just get fucking wild. What's your favorite music to listen to in the car when you're listening to music? Yeah. What is it? Come on, spill. Fucking spill. I like,

life is a highway. That one really fucking gets me going. Are you a rascal or a flat man? Flat. Oh. Come on, bro. I love fucking rascal flats. Okay.

Mine would be Rockstar by Nickelback. And we all just want to be big rock stars. That's what I listen to when I hire a barstool. I think I've said that on the app. That was my first boner. During that video? The music video, yeah. One of the playmates.

They don't do that anymore. They don't have models just hold beer and baseball bats. Those were the glory days. That was fucking sweet. Issue 1-1 of Barstool Sports. That's what it is. Exactly. Stooley's Clubhouse

is eating stew with no bracelets on. Solidarity. He could have just pushed his bracelets down. That could have been A big bracelet Or that could just be Like a Chinese food plate That he How do we know that's stew

There's no shortening in that Are his hands On the wrong arms It kind of looks like it He was born with Backwards hands This dude is deformed It'll probably help

Getting into colleges though Listen Yeah You guys have You guys have rode with us Deformed. It'll probably help getting into colleges, though. Listen. Yeah. You guys have rode with us the fucking whole week. And sometimes it was us in here. Sometimes it was a whole different gang of people. That's what makes the Yak special.

Yeah. And, man, I wouldn't have it. Can you do one more quick one? Oh, fuck. What do you think the world will look like in 20 years? No cars in Manhattan. Yeah. Genetically modified human genome.

Yeah. So, like, small-dicked people don't exist. Yeah. Or, no, small-nutted people don't exist.

So everybody's just bouncing around like Pat. Yeah. Sitting on, like, 15 pounds. And, um, and finally, JFK Jr.

is in his third term as president. Wow. Viva. Viva. Utopia. What? Viva. Viva. Yeah. It's hard to get it out some days. Days like this. Is it a Viva

or no Viva morning? The joie de viva. All right. All right. That's always the hardest goodbye. Yeah, on Fridays especially. I feel like I'm dropping my kids off at the ex-wife's place, the place halfway from the ex-wife.

So you're about to go go on a really beautiful rant. The yak isn't a set group of people. It's not like we have stagnant illustrations of the people that are on it every single day. That's not what the yak is. Yes, it's different, folks. For different strokes. That's right. That's why we have Frank the Tank and his salt habit in here every now and again.

And Jersey Jerry comes in here now and again. With his foot habit. Ebony comes in here. Mackenzie Greer comes in here. Shout out Greer. Shout out Greer. Glennie Balls comes in here. Brendan Walker comes in here.

Occasionally. Occasionally. Let's call Brandon's ass. Future Tech. Future Tech. His cyborg ass. Woodruff. The Russian guy. That's what the yak is. It's not us. No. It's not us. ass. Future Tech. Future Tech. His cyborg ass. Woodruff. The Russian guy.

That's what the yak is. It's not us. No. It's not us. It's an idea. It's bigger than the sum of its parts. It's fucking too big to fail. It's an idea.

It's a concept. It's not based on the people who do it. It's based on the people who perceive it, who receive it every day. And you realize that you're just as important as us. Why, when I look through this camera lens, I feel like I'm talking to the greatest friend that I've ever known. Because that's a friend who's going to care about me,

who's going to love me, and who's going to show up for me. Not because they have something to gain from it, just because we want to sit together and enjoy a little time, an hour from one to two every day, just yakking. And that's what it's all about, the yak. Until next time. It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act