The Yak - The Blades of Chaos Come Out On Noun Drink Day | The Yak 6-14-24

Episode Date: June 14, 2024

Titus brings out his best holiday fitYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. Brought to you by Roback. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Promo code Yak. 20% off. Fleeces, sweatshirts, tees, joggers, comfortable ass joggers shorts you name it they got it they keep this show going for us um it's just me in here uh i'm excited it's a big day

um actually i'm joined with uh tit, but Titus, buddy, what's the deal? I really thought on Flag Day we could get more than just you and I here, Nick. This company's lack of excitement over one of the more important American holidays. Astounding. I'm very disappointed, but the two of us will carry on. We'll do our best. We'll do our best. We'll do our best. Is that an actual?

Did you find a Betsy Ross? This is a Betsy Ross costume. They exist. Did you know that, and I learned this. I promise you I didn't, no matter what you said. I learned this about 10 minutes ago. Betsy Ross story might be bullshit. What?

Like, she existed, but apparently the story is that the United States, the new country in 1776, needed a flag. Betsy Ross was like a seamstress because, you know, as all women were in those days. She made a flag that looked a little bit like this. She presented it to George Washington. He was like, well, I'll be goddamn. That's our flag. And come to find out, that probably didn't actually happen. And she actually wasn't the one

who made the flag but she is she she's not the one that ran across the battlefield is she am i confusing her with another i combine all my historical woman women into one woman um that is not her no okay uh that is uh you're thinking of betty zane i'm thinking of betty zane pranced around ohio county is that what she was doing? Yeah. Okay. She was running across battlefields saving people? I don't know.

Don't know. You know what? All the respect to our... Joan of Arc, maybe. Is that who you're thinking of? Anne Sullivan. Anne of Green Gables. Helen of Troy.

Helen of Troy. Name a famous woman, Mook. Staten. Staten. Hillary Clinton. All right. Name a famous woman, Mook. Staten. Staten. Hillary Clinton. All right. Name a famous historical woman. Dibs on Sacagawea.

I was just going to say that. All right, give me a second. Let me... Dolly Madison. Oh, the hoe that blew Clinton. You already said that Yeah yeah Lewinsky right? Monica Lewinsky

She's still kind of young She's still young No I need a historical woman I got nothing Alright alright cool cool It is Noun drink day Which is one of my favorite days of the year

We've been planning this for a long, long time. You guys have been begging for it. If you didn't watch yesterday's show, we went to a random noun generator, and we got three choices to craft our drink, our cocktail, around our noun. And it's going to work. I'm confident. Totally. Look at all these drinks. confident totally look at all these drinks yeah look at all these i'm excited noun cocktails and if we want to refresh everybody kate what was your noun uh republic okay nice titus i was wealth nice i've not made mine yet so i need to

go slip off and do sure of course that's fine yeah you had you had other things i could wrap you had a flag very busy morning uh trying to get fit into this dress uh i had length and i'll also redeem myself with amelia erhart there we go nice good woman i googled it you just googled famous women yep i had basis that's gonna that's gonna be the easiest one. Yeah, by far. And woman, Martha Washington. Yeah, yeah. She was there. Is that George Washington's wife?

Yeah. What'd she do besides being married to George Washington? She sold cobbler. She sold books. Who's the worst first lady we've ever had? People always rank the presidents. How many do you guys know? Mary Todd was a little stressed out.

All I know is Mary Todd, which I don't like that name. You don't like Mary Todd? No. Can you name Eleanor? Nancy Reagan, Eleanor Roosevelt. Who was Dwight Eisenhower? Bessie? Bessie Truman.

Bessie Truman. What a name. Bessie. Isessie Truman. Bessie Truman. What a name. Bessie? Is there one, though, that was kind of renowned that the staff was like, this fucking bitch. Like a bitch. Yeah. Yeah, like a J-Lo. Was there a real diva?

I think Hillary may have had a bad reputation. Might have been a tough customer. Michelle was beloved. Yeah. Who was Jimmy Carter married to? Oh, she was a little peanut. Yeah, a little peanut. Yeah. Who was Jimmy Carter married to? Oh, she was a little peanut. Yeah, a little peanut. Yeah, she was great.

He is shockingly alive. I know. We've declared him dead on ZeroBlog30 like 15 times already. There can't be. When do you think the last time he felt comfort was? Been a while. A decade? He's shrinking rapidly, correct? Yeah. crumbling into a wad of of man

of man he's gonna be a little wad of man he's still like doing habitat for humanity shit right i think so he's like a kind of known as a nice guy i feel like nancy reagan was real uptight you think so she was a throat goat but then say no to drugs she was like real oh what a bitch i know it's not fun to be around she was a square um was there a mrs nixon yeah had to have been right do you do you think like jimmy carter ever has moments where he's like let's get it i'm excited you think jimmy you think he's ever said let's go after winning a bet? Yeah. What was the last time?

So your pleasure centers for like sweets decreases. Okay. Is that true? As you get older? Why are you asking me? But I feel like they enjoy like a nice vanilla cone. Oh, big time. I literally love vanilla.

I think vanilla cones. I love vanilla. Soft serve. But I bet you that's just more the temperature I bet you their flavor comes from the temperature of it you do lose your taste buds as you get old what's the oldest you could be amped up at?

I'm fucking psyched there's that old lady lobster fisherman I was talking about the other day she probably gets pumped to get a big lobster Trump gets fired up and he's what, 80? Yeah, but how much of it is performative? I don't know. Yeah, I feel like he's on autopilot.

When's the last time you saw your grandparent like fucking amped up? A grandparent amped? No, and it's kind of beautiful that they don't need that. No, I remember. That's like high emotions that kind of come with a lot of baggage. So you don't need that. That's like, I remember. That's high emotions that kind of come with a lot of baggage. So you don't need to get too amped.

My, the last time I saw my pop-up amp before he passed, he was like 71, 72 and we were in the Olive Garden. He was just like popping off saying

racist shit. Really? Yeah, that's when he was like, he was fired up. Olive Garden's a safe space for that. Yeah. Yeah.

He was like, things are changing around here. Like that was the type of thing. Oh, was it a Trump thing? up. Olive Garden's a safe space for that. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, things are changing around here. Like that was the type of- Oh, is it a Trump thing? No. Oh, okay. No. Just a thing.

I do feel like they go into a peaceful mode and then if they start to lose marbles a little bit, then they get rowdy again, but they don't realize it. So it's okay. Yeah. It's an accidental rowdy. Yeah. It's Battle and Bower, the sensational young tiger

with amazing speed and two murderous hands. So I guess we'll spin the wheel to see who has a cocktail. Spin the wheel. One of us goes first. Interesting. Oh, TJ, Che, Zaya, you guys have drinks as well? Yeah, I got Thing. I got Village.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jay is missing. Normally, when girlfriend groups do this, it's like the cutest little table of trays and drinks, and this is so depressing. There's a Band-Aid on one of the cups. Oh, yeah, you'll find out why. Hey, yours, the lime green?

Yes. They look fantastic. They need ice. Did you con us into this like did you have this prepped for weeks no like i know a good idea no i just you said drink it and i'm like what's a fun twist yeah on someone who doesn't get to do it often i thought how can i make the most of this for me selfishly how can i make this a pain in the ass for everyone involved? No, I enjoyed the process of this as I scrambled this morning. So did I.

Yeah, let's spin the wheel and see. Let's get sipping. Do we have like ice somewhere where I can just get a big pitcher of ice that people can put in there? Yeah, we have ice machines all around. Oh, we do. Every kitchen up front in the lobby kitchen. All right, I'll do that eventually. Should the wheel be for who

presents? Yeah, because I'm not drinking my own drink. I would never. No, Titus' mic's not on. Paige is making mine right now so if it hits my... Yeah, we'll bump it. You'll just have to pay a penalty.

Fuck yeah. Village! Village drink! Okay. You'll just have to pay a penalty. Fuck yeah. Village. Village drink. Okay. All righty. Well, I wanted to bring in the stuff that you guys hated, but unfortunately the powder was done. So I made a drink that I blacked out to for the first time ever.

It's a twist. It was with my cousins. I think it was like a Christmas party or something. I was like 16, 17 at the village. It's a twist on the Malawi Shandy. I used the ghetto whiskey

in Zimbabwe. I brought back like five bottles of it. I love it. What's it called? It's called Two Keys. I'll show you. Two Keys? Yeah, I'll show you after the show if you guys are interested in taking shots and all that.

It's pure gasoline, so use that. All right. Ginger beer. And when you say pure gasoline, you mean like literally pure gasoline? That's not like slang. No, like literally pure gasoline. Literal petrol. So whiskey, ginger beer.

I used an American ginger beer of course because of lack of the resources and a splash of lemonade okay I'm excited this is some culture

I knew guys in the barracks who would mix their whiskey with country time lemonade powder oh wow yeah on ice so

there's no way that's tasting good I don't know this is whiskey and lemonade so could be. Oh, wow.

Oh, look at these beautiful things. These look great. Proper presentation. Oh, there's ice in them? Oh. Thank you, sir. This is a good village-based drink. And what's it called again?

It had a great name. Malawi Shandy. A Malawi Shandy. What do you know about Malawi? The vice president just died in a plane wreck. Really? Oh, fuck. Oh, this is for him if he was a good guy.

Was he a good guy, Zaa? No comment. No comment. Okay. Yeah, nine people died in a plane crash, and the vice president being one of them. Wow. Should we cheers to nouns?

To nouns. To nouns. To nouns. To nouns. Thank you, Zaa. Thank you, Zaa. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. To nouns. Thank you, Zah. Thank you, Zah. Happy Friday. Happy Friday.

Let's sip. Oh. That's really good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah. I feel like somebody could charge me like 28 bucks for this at a fancy Chicago cocktail bar and I'd be like, yeah.

This is like a Moscow mule. He's like a medicine-y Moscow mule. What's called a... Medicine-y? That's a good praise. What do you know about that country, Kyle? Nothing. South Central Africa, capital of the long way.

That is nothing. Nothing, yeah. But no, nothing cultural. What's their flag? Don't know. Forgot those. What African country has the AK-47 on their flag? Mozambique

Cool Holy shit Yeah, that's awesome Albania is a top flag Yeah, I like that That's pretty cool That's a great one That's a good flag

That's a great one Love that flag Who does have the worst flag? Libya used to be just solid green Just one green That's pretty They have the really awesome? Libya used to be just solid green. Just one green. They have the Muslim moon now. Worst flag?

Germany's was bad for a little bit. Best is Nepal, I think. Germany's, aesthetically, the message wasn't right. But the design, you can't deny. Design ain the design you can't deny ain't bad you've got boss is a genius yeah separate the art from the artist you're ahead of the time yeah yeah you gotta this is are we gonna get tanked we're gonna I think maybe it's pretty refreshing yeah I'm fucking hung over to get tanked? We're going to get tanked. Maybe. It's pretty refreshing. Yeah.

I'm fucking hungover. I got tanked last night. Whoa. Where'd you go? What'd you do? With this dirt bag. He took me around. Saw his place.

Nice. Yeah, I invited him to my home. Phenomenal. Surreal seeing that he lives in such luxury. Maybe one day if you work hard, bud. How many fireplaces? three um one one but i yeah just i don't just watch just the one yeah is kyle's nepal's i want to it. Nepal is the one with the two triangles.

Then Bhutan has a dragon. Bhutan's is great. Isle of Man is sick. Do a Sporkle flag. Do a flag Sporkle. I would love to memorize them. I memorized them once because Nadeau tripped me out. He was like, yeah, I know them all.

So I memorized them all. It took hours. He didn't know shit. He's a good shit talker. Speaking of Albania's flag, very intimidating. They're one of the best. Widely regarded. That's my homeland. Portugal?

That's gotta be like Belarus. Luke, you're probably good at this with FIFA, right? That's Turkey? Is that Pakistan or Libya? Pakistan. Oh, nice. That's Bhutan. That's Bhutan. Great flag.

Not Netherlands. Okay. That's like Monaco. Vatican City. I think. You know these? Oh, shit. Israel.

Israel. Yeah. Is that one of the stands? I don't like that one. Is it Kazakhstan? Algeria. Nice. Okay, Sweden.

Who's knowing these back there? Zabat. Oh, good. That's Sweden, back there that's Sweden right that's Denmark fuck me that sucks that's too candy ish yeah it does look like it belongs on candy Suriname no might be one of the stands

next one Chicago Cubs yeah yeah stars is communism right except for us that's a... That's Cambodia. No, that's a... Is that North Korea? That's Korea.

Or North. Laos? North Korea. North Korea. North Korea. Man, I'm shit. That's a toughie. That's Switzerland.

No, Switzerland's just one big plus sign. Fuck me. Hmm. Give Mook like the the US That might be Tonga yeah Tonga Don't have a clue Montenegro or Macedonia That red piece is Tunisia I think

Is that Afghanistan? That's the one we just looked at. That's Romania. Or Chad. Argentina. Yeah, it is. This next one, tricky. That's Lesotho or East Wetini.

Oh. No. L-E. East. East Wetini Virginia That bitch That is fucking That's an African Ghana?

No Gambia? It's close to It's close to Ghana It might be Ghana That's Try Ghana No

Zah Help us out It's fucking I think Gabon No it's not Gabon It's one of those West Africans It's either Guinea or Gabon no one of those West Africans see the guinea guinea

maybe Japan's should be better here comes Titus's drink oh yeah oh hell yeah there we go thank you guys while we're sipping we should spin for the next drink yeah let's uh finish these cheers these are very are very good. Very good. Thank you, Donnie. Here we go. A mischievous mule. I've got a little extra of the whiskey

if you guys want to try it neat. Yeah, I would. Pure gasoline. You make it sound so appealing. Che. Steve Che. What do we got, motherfucker? So my word was ratio?

I bought stuff for Wait, time Chew Why don't you finish the biggest bite of all time? Dare you not to chew While you finish chewing, can we pull up your doppelganger? Yeah Oh my god

Oh my god, Steve. The closest I have ever seen to, like. I thought it might have been me. Like, shockingly, shockingly close to being you. I'm, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's pride month. Stephen Day.

Stephen Day. Oh Oh my God. Holy shit. That looks just like me. Yes. Everything about it. Even like the teeth. Exactly the same. Even the teeth.

TJ, go back. Zoom in on the watch. If you could. What's it say? I don't know. Oh, what? There's got to be some detail. Big foundation. Yeah. I don't know. There's got to be some detail. Big foundation.

I just not noticed. Oh, it's just the time. I thought they had started a workout. I thought it looked like the app. The rings? Yeah. I was like, I'm going to go on a walk. Jay, that is. Going on a march to close your rings?

Yes. I feel like we should also look at White Sox Dave Strands oh tough look did you see a Strands Titus? I did yeah somebody said his forehead looks like a barcode you had the best response though you're a Hey Arnold Sid from Hey Arnold

that's so funny oh buddy we were looking at it yesterday just at the bar, just staring. And if I looked at that for one second, I could tell you the exact amount he had. Like, rain man it. But you can't have the individual strands. You can't.

And, like, popping out the backwards cap. If you tallied those, you're not getting diagonal. You're not getting to diagonal. That's four hairs. Did you hear what White Sox Dave did yesterday to Megan making money? No. Can we play this clip please from quick picks apologies for sneezing right into the microphone into the ears of everyone um i'm gonna blame white socks dave because he came up and asked for a bite of my sandwich then immediately two hours later what the fuck i will say i didn't

eat the sandwich i went around it but him just touching it and then he said you gave him a bite of your sandwich yeah he was like here and then I just ate around his bite, and I threw the rest away. Wait, hold on, hold on. He was the... It was a fresh sandwich? I had split it. I made the sandwich last night. I was so excited about it.

I brought it in. I split it with Paige, and then White Sox Dave comes up immediately, and I'm about to take a bite. He's like, can I have a bite? That's disgusting. And you hadn't had a bite yet? No. And so I gave him a bite and then i

ate around it and i threw away the part that he ate but obviously his fingers were all over it and then like two hours ago he comes up to me he's like i feel like shit i'm going home i'm like what the fuck wait i've bumped into white socks dave this morning it's just allergies and he he sounded so stuffy and i'm like dude are you said, no, this place just makes my eyes water. Sounds like shit. Yeah. Also, while I'm around you guys every day, I don't think I'd walk up to you and ask for a bite of your sand. No.

That's a crazy move. That's wild. Big Cat would do it. He would do that to us. But he would do it as a social experiment. Dave just wanted a bite of sand. Like a raccoon. Big Cat would only do it on air. Yeah. Because it would be kind of sand. Like a raccoon. I think I would only do it on air.

Because it would be kind of funny. It's a funny premise. But Dave... Let me get a bite. Dave is just hungry. He told Megan that if Megan gets sick, she can punch him in the face. So I'm actively rooting for Megan to get sick right now. Yeah. Very

sick. Um... Yeah. Yeah. Very sick. Um, on to my, yeah, yeah, it's perfect. Yeah, it's hanging out

with Stinky Peterson. Also, did you guys see, uh, what's Stinky's voice again? Oh, it's really bad. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, he's from Arkansas. That's right. His parents hung his D plus on the fridge. Yeah, it was pretty sad. That's right. His parents hung his D-plus on the fridge. Yeah, it was pretty sad. Oh, sad. Yeah.

The kid was trying, though. Good-ass show. Shout-out Craig Bartlett. Craig Bartlett? I think he's, like, the animator. The creator, right? Yeah. He'll sell, like, stills on everyone's phone.

You're a Hey Arnold guy like that, Jay? Oh, yeah, big. It was phenomenal. That was one of my three favorite characters. No, I love the show. I fucking love the show. I know. Holds up, too.

I did not recall that Craig Bartlett was the. Do you guys know this dude? No, I know of him. I don't know him at all. I love him. Yeah, I don't remember that. Yeah, I don't remember that at all. You must be a huge Hey Arnold fan.

I knew that about Nick. I didn't know that about you, Che. I own the movie on DVD, or used to. So why don't you take that? When was the last time you watched it? When was the last time you inserted a DVD, Steve? Probably like 2014, maybe? PS3 used to be able to play DVDs.

And Blu-ray. That was big with the Blu-ray. Yeah, you could build in Blu-ray. It was the cheapest Blu-ray you could get when the blu-ray yeah you get a built-in blu-ray it was the cheapest blu-ray you could get to the ps3 which is nuts yeah that was you guys had a dvd rack yeah yeah oh yeah it was like my proudest thing that was the best it looks so adding another dvd i didn't care what movies were in it i just wanted it filled up right that's a thing on tiktok right now there's a guy that's just live like every day,

and he's like, I have every movie on DVD. Say a movie in the comments, and I'll show you. Yeah. You'll be like, click, and he'll be like, yep, have it, and I'll show you. That's awesome. Intern Troy was in there. Yeah.

That's fun. It's fun. It's simple, and it's good content. My parents still have out, like in the house on display all their cds like the cd racks and the cd players you have the flip book like the little oh i used to i used to in college i was awesome people were always stealing each other's it was cool when you had the burnt ones when you wrote in sharpie oh yeah you guys into physical media like you gotta have um not anymore i don't like clutter yeah nick you get the newspaper delivered

to your house every day yeah but then i throw it away yeah but still i read yeah yeah that is a good point i think i'll always be a book guy i'll never go ebooks i've tried it and just doesn't uh i do for like i have a kindle it's i use it occasionally but i like real books yeah every time i go to like a flea market or like a card shop I buy if there's like an old Playboy I'll buy it Really? Yeah it's just like I have a collection going Nice. Can't wait to spend the night

Yeah Oh yeah. I've become a vinyl guy too solely because it is inconvenient to flip it over and to skip songs and stuff and it like forces you to listen to the entire album. At least the entire side of the album. You put the record on? I put the record on.

I put the needle on. And then I do chores around the house. And the rationale is you don't just skip around and build. You just listen to the whole fucking thing the way the artist intended. It's a weird situation where i actually think the inconvenience is the future for me yeah yeah it's almost like uh like a straight razor shave when i was into like pseudo dopamine conservation i was refusing to skip songs and it it kind of worked made you enjoy the song yeah yeah uh che what's your drink um so my word is ratio i bought all the ingredients

for a separate drink but then someone gave me with a great idea and uh i did a spin-off of that what better ratio than the half and half so it is uh a john daly really it's i put booze in it but uh half lemonade half uh iced tea and some vodka that's fantastic that'll blend right yeah nice ease into the next thing. We're mixing every liquor. Yep. This is going to be bad. Remember in college we had a huge Long Island iced tea kick?

And that's like, isn't that like every kind of liquor just mixed into? It's every liquor combined and then it doesn't taste like any liquor. Yeah. Why did I do that? It all just cancels. Every once in a while, I'll get one still. That was a big 21-year-old drink.

I'm turning 21, and I'm ordering that. That was a high-end drink. Yeah. This is delightful. Vodka, tequila, light rum, triple sec, gin, and a splash of cola.

And it doesn't contain iced tea. Thank you, Steve. They had $2 Tuesdays at Rutgers where it was $2 Long Island iced teas, and Wednesdays were rough. Yeah. It was awesome. This is pretty good, Shay. Yeah. Did anybody finish their first one?

I'm pretty close. I think I'm doing a little blend of both. I'll just double-check. Shay, that's a good drink, man. Good drink. Thank you. I didn't double click. Che, that's a good drink, man. Good drink. Thank you. I didn't go with the standard Arizona pre-made. I made it myself with the good stuff,

so hopefully it translates. That is good. This is working out great for me. I'm actually enjoying this. Yeah, you just wanted a drink. You didn't have to do it off camera before the show. No, for once, for a change, finally have to do it off camera before the show. No, for once. For a change, finally.

Sitting out in my car before every show just smoking. Yeah. Yeah. What was the inspiration for this? I saw you sent the TikTok. I don't have TikTok in my phone. Every time I click a TikTok link, my phone almost explodes. It's like I've been handed a bomb and i have like five seconds to yeah cut the right wire there's a like this big trend of specifically women having you

get together with like six-year girlfriends and each of you has to bring a special drink so maybe you bring a drink that i'm a nurse so it's like some kind of code blue with a syringe of vodka that you put in it. Or your drink coincides with your job or something about you. And you all have super cute, they have little stuff all over the rims and blah, blah, blah. And I just wanted to do that. So you guys are screwed today. We're with it, yeah.

Yeah, thanks. I do like that you're trying to come up with jobs for women and you got to nurse and then out. Nurse. Nurse. Other nurse got to nurse. Nurse. Nurse. Other nurse. Nurse. Traveling nurse. Mom.

Mom. Registered nurse. Yeah, let's put out a chart. Let's rank the female jobs. Nurse. Registered nurse. Teacher. Teacher.

Bartender. Librarian. Oh, librarian. Like traveling librarian uh no sexy librarian sexy library yeah and then homely librarian yeah old hag librarian i feel like travel planner those are is that a woman's job it's only we haven't broken into hibachi yet baby women in hibachi i've never seen a woman hibachi it's that and cereal mascots you guys have not gotten into yet i know we have women in stem now we need women in hibachi yeah we should make we should push that we started charity gotta get women into hibachi yeah 5k women in hibachi nah the onions would be make you guys cry even more

I would be pissed if I had a woman hibachi show probably leave a meeting there's only one in Wichita Kansas no way we gotta go there was an article about it there's only one female hibachi chef. Is that from the Wichita Eagle?

Golly. You think of females as servers or hostesses. Working in the hibachi industry. I didn't realize it was an industry. It's a great pickup line. I'm the only hibachi chef in Wichita. It's a great pickup line. Oh my god. I'm the only hibachi chef in Wichita. That's incredible.

She's gotta be a lesbian, right? Can we get some eyes on her? Let's go see this bulldog. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. The little squirter she has is a pussy. Oh, it has to be a little pig girl. Oh god.

Yes, the little squirter she has is a pussy. Oh, it has to be a little peeing girl. Oh, God. Yes, the little squirter she has is a pussy. You know the little Asian man where you press the- The peeing boy. The peeing boy, yeah. It's a peeing girl. We have two peeing boys lying around here. I bought some. Oh, I was like, which who?

No, no, no. No joke. TJ, I got to see her. I'm thinking thick frame glasses. Is she still there? Undercut. I got to pay for the W. TJ, I got to see her. I'm thinking thick frame glasses. Is she still there? Undercut. I got to pay for the Wichita Eagle. I got to pay.

Let's do it. Let's support women in hibachi right now. Expense that shit, TJ. We should have a podcast where somebody has to read the Wichita Eagle every morning. Are there any yakkers in Wichita who can confirm for us? Wichita's got to be the most dead, boring city, and it's also the 50th most populous. Really?

So it's up there. It's close to Boston. Have any of you been? I don't think I have been to Wichita. We've been to Lawrence a few times. Who was that cold-ass white boy that played at Wichita State? Ron Baker? Ron Baker.

Ron Baker. That you're thinking of? Yep. That's the only thing I know. Yep. Good logo. Played in the NBA for a second or two. Cup of coffee.

Let's see who has the next drink. Let's get a... I'm feeling it. I know. I didn't need today. Nor have I. I'm going to be... I'm getting dumb.

Are you getting stupid? Yeah, I feel my brain being stupid. Oh. Oh, yeah, she's just a lady. She looks like me. You want to riff on this or what? No. Oh, yeah.

What's her name? Evelyn Harder. So, yeah, is that, that's like pushing boundaries and breaking barriers? I guess so. Damn. We're so proud of her and how she's handling the recognition. She's still being humble. Yeah.

She's getting glory. She gets a huge ego. You know who the fuck I am? I'm the only hibachi. Makes me wonder, what's the most absurd scenario where someone earnestly described themselves as the Jackie Robinson of blank? Yeah.

Oh, shit! Wait, she looks horrified. She's regretting everything. She's scared. Shut up. You go clean. They had to add the flames in pose. Nice photo shoot, though.

Is that her? Hell yeah. Ain't nobody sitting at that table. It's empty. Crickets. It's for a video. That's all she crushed. 13 seconds.

Sharpens her skills. Yeah, good work. If a volcano erupts when no one's watching, it didn't really erupt. I hate you guys. I'm proud of her. I'm proud of her.

Finally, a woman in the kitchen. You've done it, Kate. You've done it, Kate. You've got to get to wichita that's i follow women in trucking i follow what is that a coalition it's a group i follow them i follow women offshore it's like women who go oil rigging and shit i like to see what those ladies are up to longshore men yeah they're out there it's rare but they're I thought about becoming a trucker at one point before barstool and so I followed all these women in trucking so I still follow them because I yeah I like to see what the girls are up to out there on the road. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

I love learning about you, Kate. Yep. Gotta lock your truck right away. How do they do it? How do they perform at the stops? It's tough. You gotta be a real bitch. It's like in prison how you have to make

everyone else your bitch. They have to like roll in tough and they have to lock all their doors like five times. This is morbid. Do they get attacked by the other? Sometimes. Some of the panels at their gatherings is about that, yes.

Because trucking is very meth-fueled, is it not? Oh, big time. And meth users are some of the horniest of the horny. Yeah, I've seen poems about how pleasurable their sex is. Yeah. Yeah, like r slash meth on RSS is an incredible visit of dudes just being like, yeah, I jerked off for 13 hours. Like eight straight hours of nirvana. It's got to chase at some point.

You got to be sore the next day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right? And it kills them fast. Yeah. Oh yeah. Right? And it kills them fast. Yeah. Meth kills you fast? Maybe not.

The jerking off. I don't know. I think it's harder to overdose. Who knows, man. Who has the next cocktail? We got distracted by being sexist. Yeah. Women in hibachi.

Swag. KB. Right. Are you guys really drinking? I don't want to be the only one. I'm buzzed. All right. Cool.

Titus, you're going to come home tanked in a dress. Yeah. Thank you sir Wouldn't be the first time Yeah Do you guys ever get a little curious Like What would I look like in heels Like what would I look like in a

I um No I would like to see? Like, what would I look like in a... I, um... No. No? I would like to see how I looked in full glam. Yeah. Just once. Like, if someone came and did full glam on you. Like, what if I was sexy?

I would love to see what you got. Like, a sexy mook? That's like thinking of the size of space. You can't really... I'd look like Patrick Star in the fucking stilettos and the fishnets. Yeah, yeah, you would. I've been in a dress before. Yeah?

Yeah, senior year of high school, we did thon every year, and we had to do a dance, and I put on a dress, and my tits filled it out, unfortunately. Yeah, because you used to have bigger tits. Large, large tits. Not good. Kyle's isn't good? I need to hear about Kyle's.

Uh-oh. Kyle forgot. What was his word again? Basis. Basis. Kate, this was a great idea. I'm enjoying this. I had Pat drop me off.

You make me one, KB? I gave you one. Oh, you can have this. Thank you. What? Thank you, Kyle. Kyle, why don't you explain the basis? Did you guys already dog me dirty?

No, man. I didn't say anything. I just... Just give it a little bit. Yeah, he let out a full body quiver. That's exactly what you want. Oh, i love this so base what are we drinking so basis the definition is all about systems and principles

and foundations i couldn't work with that so it's an acronym blunts and sex in september so it's like that late late summer cocktail when you're over the noise you're trying to be low-key with your girl um and get loose by the pool or what you might got now that i know that let me let me try to supplement it with some strokes it's aperol spritz with two splashes of blue blue what raspberry lemonade again i like it it's kind of bitter this is something i'd pay a lot of money for at a fancy chicago cocktail bar and i wouldn't complain i would pretend i like i'd feel like it's supposed to i'm supposed to not like it but like a real adult would like it thank you i went to this bar here where uh the bartenders serve you drinks based off of your vibe and mine was like

an awful awful drink i was like yeah this is another yeah yeah because then they like watch you take your first sip and they're like did we nail it uh-huh based on your vibe yeah there's other cocktails on the menu but it's like five dollars cheaper if they get to it's Based on your vibe? Yeah. There's other cocktails on the menu, but it's like $5 cheaper if they get to... It's probably just the cheapest thing, the thing they have the most of. Yeah. Yeah. The best margins or something. Your vibe is your gullible, and you'll buy this cocktail.

That is it. Trying to push on you. I went to a vibe-based coffee shop in New York when I was there. They made you a coffee based off your vibe. What does that mean? And I got a third black coffee, a third OJ, and a third Pepsi mixed together. It was so fucking bad. Black coffee, OJ.

I must have abysmal vibes. Who would have guessed that? Is that a joke? The man that's sitting separated from everybody else. I've seen the coffee in OJ. But then they added Pepsi. Coffee in OJ? I used to love those Coke coffees.

The cans of Coke that had coffee in it. Those were great. Those were good. Pat got me into Coke and red wine on ice. Whoa. That sounds good. It does sound good. It's like a Spanish drink called a calamucho or something.

And when I used to go see him in austin we'd walk around the city we go to 7-eleven and we get a huge cup of ice and fountain coke and then we'd pour red wine into it and like roam around that sounds awesome it was great yeah wine and coke yeah that would work yeah yeah i'm to do that this weekend. Kyle, this is definitely you taste it. You took the words right off my mouth. I thought it was fucking good. I was scared to say that, but you taste it. I never got the Aperol Spritz phase that everybody was going through. I did not get it. It tastes like medicine to me.

Aperol Spritz, the color looks refreshing. I think it's almost there. That's why I added the blue. I could taste the it. It tastes like medicine to me. Aperol spritz, the color looks refreshing. I think it's almost there. That's why I added the blue. To make it perfect. Same with rosé. I feel like rosé never lives up to what it looks like to me. Never tastes that. The rosé phase was crazy. Everyone

was drinking it. Are we out of the Aperol phase? No. No, Aperol still. It peaked in 2019. Yeah, it definitely peaked. it was like a rooftop 19 drink yeah i'll still get them occasionally day drinking yeah thanks kyle yeah thanks i like your shirt today. A little silky something. Getting ready for the dozen.

Nice hooded sweatshirt. Thank you. Just another day, man. Just another day. Another day. Let's spin that wheel. I'm excited for Kate's. It is glowing. It is.

It needs ice. I have to get up and go get ice. You guys feeling a little loopy maybe I am I sure am me too yeah

oh man I'm like what a fun idea for the show it's just us all kind of eventually sitting here quietly I'm starting to learn that like maybe

the case race I will just be mute yeah that's fine that's what I'm that's what this was this is a case race friendly we're just getting a feel for it and I might be mute.

I can't tell whether to go mute or spew my ass off. Yeah. Either or. Either or. I also have a – Yeah. I feel like I'm going to – during the case race, I'm going to be a guy who, like, gets a joke, like, 90 seconds after it was said.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then repeat it out loud to myself. The thing is, we have 16 people. Somebody will be worse. That's true. Just don't be the worst. I'm glad we're getting our practice in.

If I'm the 14th worst in terms of how annoying I am, no one will remember. That's a W. People forget the 14th worst. As long as you're not the 16th worst in terms of how annoying I am, no one will remember. That's a W. As long as you're not the 16th worst. Hopefully that's somebody like an outer barstool guest so they can carry that burden on their own. I'm gonna fucking

dose someone so it's not me. Yeah, you're gonna give them Xanax? I'm gonna QB sneak Kyle. That would make him chill. I would love that. I'm afraid to just do Xanax on my own accord okay all right yeah you almost need it if I was forced to that would be like a top five day okay you're gonna get QB sneak yeah um I'm gonna get us up and moving because my cocktail is based off skill and i took the three most skillful things in my mind the hunt the arts and balance for mine the hunt the hunt like the for a beast yeah

slaughter a beast sure yes sneaky beast perhaps oh no no no i'm staying safe so you guys will take the blade. And you'll start at one side of the gym. And Danny Conrad will throw a balloon off the top. He will go and stab the balloon. If you miss, Danny will throw another. You have to restart. This is all timed.

Okay. Inside of the balloon will be a prompt. You will have one minute to charade the prompt. If we don't guess it in one minute, you run into the booth, and TJ has Microsoft Paint up. You have to draw it. You fucking idiot. Once we guess that, you run out here, and this is where the balance comes in.

Jesus Christ, Nick. You'll have a plate full of Nick juice filled to the brim on this newspaper. I have multiple newspapers because I get it every day. If you spill on the newspaper, it adds 10 seconds to your time. Wait, we have to drink it up like a dog? No, no, no. You can pick it up and drink it. It's just one shot of vodka.

Okay. Oh, God. I bought a shot of vodka. Okay. Oh, God. I just bought a shot of vodka. Nick juice? Nick juice is just straight vodka. Fuck. That beats the alternative, though, of what I thought Nick juice might be. My spunk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have jizzed on these plates. Jesus. Yeah. So that's mine. Whoever wants to go first. Let me whiz ridiculous real quick. My man. Shit. Okay. I'm going to go get ice, too.. Whoever wants to go first. Let me whiz ridiculous real quick. My man.

Shit. Okay, I'm going to go get ice, too. Okay, cool. I'll go first. I've had this drink before, so I'll let others try. No, the whole thing together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had the skill shot before.

Come arm up. Grab the blades. Pretty easy to pop the balloons. I had intern Sam test them out. Okay, pop the balloon. Run across the gym with the blades pretty easy to pop the balloons I had intern Sam test them out run across the gym with the blades you can only start running when Danny throws the blades and I'll start TJ I'm going to do a second total timer

and this is a skill-based cocktail. You start on that side of the gym. We're going to just show the dozen set. Yeah, run with the swords. And Danny will drop it. Oh, that's a pretty good angle. Now the dozen's ruined. Fuck!

God damn it. Danny's gonna throw the balloon. Nick is preparing the Nick juice. And I'm in a dress, alone in the studio. It is just another day here at Barstool Sports. All right. As soon as we're... Let's get the camera angle right.

And Mook, as soon as you start... As soon as Danny drops, you start running, and I will start the timer. Danny, whenever you're ready. Oh, get it! Get it! Yes! Grab your prompt! That was awesome, Mook.

And he has one minute to act it out. For us. Go, Mook. Come on, buddy. John Stamos playing the xylophone on Kokomo with the Beach Boys. Pretty close. Fucking 30 seconds left. Oh, John Stamos playing the drums on Kogamotha Beach Boys.

Wait, are we guessing? Yeah, I'm not. Milk and a cow. Give us one at a time. Don't you dare. Five seconds and you have to come in to do Microsoft Paint. I'll do Paint. Wait, in Paint I have to... Yeah, you have to come in to do Microsoft Paint. I'll do a paint. Okay. Wait, in paint I have to... You have to- yeah, you have to draw it.

Alright, boys. Here we go. Here we go. Oh no. Oh no. Oh god. Um... No!

Fuckin'... Uh... Fuckin'... Oh my god. No! Fucking Japan? That's gotta be in Oregon or something. He did do Japan. Is it Japan? No. Which makes him very, very dumb. Because... Great Wall of China.

That better not be the Great wall of China yeah, yeah, is that the that better not be Yeah, you gotta get inside Luke's brain well, it's a Japanese flag the Yeah, but he can do you think it's a great wall of China sumo wrestling he can used one country for another Okay What is that pac-man oh god this is a disaster move you've given us less than nothing um that ain't shit that's nothing that Kate like is all just drop just write the word Jupiter, Mars, Tornado

Twister, Planet Clitoris China Come out here Mook The answer is China That was so Come out here You did the Japanese flag for China

Drink your shot on the plate The answer was China? What the fuck were the charades? And he can't spill, right? He was doing a hibachi shot. Oh, he was doing hibachi? And not a single drop. Oh, my God.

Oh, no. He's going to throw up. He's going to puke. It's just vodka. It's a shot of vodka. Oh, he gurgitated. Yeah. So 254 plus 10 seconds for spilling on the newspaper.

That will be 304. Oh, my God. Mook 304. It just said China. That was it. The balloon popped. It said China. China on his paper. He did a Japan flag. He did hibachi. After we did flags today. He could have done some plates.

Isn't hibachi Japanese as well? Yes. He's got me rethinking things now. And then he puked. All time run from the boy.-time run from the boy. All-time run from the boy. Oh, man. I feel bad.

It is hard to act out. What was he even trying? I think he was doing hibachi, and then he did, like, the triangle hat. Oh, God. Yeah, that would be tough to act out, though, yeah. Well, who wants to follow that? Jeez. That was hard.

Yeah, not me. Damn. Kyle, go. I'll reset the drink. How does it start? You start with the Blades of Chaos. I didn't see Mook do it. Is it straightforward?

It's pretty straightforward, yeah. Blooming might not pop right away, though. Oh, good. He's getting you a fresh plate. Those are way heavier than you think. Yeah, those are real Bl of chaos actually yeah other side of the gym kyle oh no no other side like over there you had them in the wrong hand yeah right hand on the left hand yeah good idea steph i hope he doesn't trip on that blade chain boy would i feel bad if someone died yeah but i only mixed drink day yeah running

around with two big old blades that are really sharp they are um all right danny are you up there don't trip on the blade chain um tj only start the timer when he does the charade i'll keep the other okay the balloon is out oh Oh, he got it! That was crazy! That was crazy! Get your prompt. Your prompt came out of the... It's right at half court! No, Kyle! It's at half court! It's by the black line! It's half court! It's at half court!

Kyle, turn around! Your prompt! Right here! Right here! Unless it's Mook's. Is it that or is this China? Okay, grab yours. It popped out of the balloon somewhere You good bud Dude there was a lot of vodka on that plate I think it was a shot

No that was a lot of vodka Kyle's acting it out as soon as he begins Proposal Marriage Kiss Love Divorce Ex-wife Proposal. Propose. Marriage. Propose. Kiss. Kiss. Love. Divorce.

Ex. Divorced. Ex. Ex-wife. Ex-wife. Ex-husband. Ex. It's your parents getting divorced.

Oh, your parents getting divorced. Yeah. No, you're shot. You can just pour it on the paper and take the ten second penalty. Yep. That's what I... Fuck. A minute eight. Oh, that's good. Wow, that's going to be tough to beat. That's what I – fuck. A minute eight. Oh, that's good.

Wow, that's going to be tough to beat. That's very good. That's one of the better runs we've ever seen. I've seen better. Good pop. That was a blast. Titus, would you like to – Yeah, I'll go.

That was the charades I'm very impressed by. Yeah, Kyle, that was good. That was really good. Quick thinking. Yeah, Kyle, that was good. That was really good. Yeah, that was quick thinking. Very clearly what you were doing. What would you have done for China? Would you have done a bunch of Japanese shit as well? I would have done.

I would have manipulated my eyes, yes. Yes. That was the only option. Yes. I would have. That's just me being honest. That would be the most efficient method for me. I mean, I was thinking about it in the bathroom when I was going through it.

I should have maybe bowed or done karate. Oh, yeah. I think that's still. That's. Yeah, I think that. Yeah. Did you throw up? No, it. I think that's still... Yeah, I think that, yeah. Did you throw up? No, it's just the shot, like, whatever vodka that is, is disgusting.

Yeah, what is it? And I tried to take it all down in one gulp, and eventually it hit me, and it just was not going down. Stephanie, I'm sorry, I'll clean that. Vodka plain is my biggest kryptonite. Vodka as a mixer is the best. Because it gets overshadowed. Alright. 108 is the time to beat.

Kate, with your injuries, I'm still having you do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm on the move. And I have enough balloons for Steve, Zah, TJ, whoever wants to do it. All them boys are going to do it.

As soon as Danny throws, we'll be good. Oh, he looks sweet. Oh, he looks awesome. He looks so awesome. Sailor Moon. This is like the sequel to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer. It's Betsy Ross. He's got the trans colors on, too.

Yo! All right, as soon as Danny throws... He did! Danny threw! Go, go! No, no, no, you gotta do another. Throw, Danny. Sorry, I was posing.

I was posing with the blade. Yeah, I didn't know. Sorry. Ready? As soon as he drops. Betsy Ross zombie slayer Oh Right in front of you Turn around

The prompt The prompt Guitar Fiddler Rock and roll Fiddler on the roof Guitar Rock and roll Queen Concert Lead singer Electric

Electric rock Electric Electric The electric slide Oh, electric rock. Electric, um, electric. Oh, he's good. The electric slide. Oh, fuck. You guys are on the right track. Electric light orchestra.

Ooh, impatient. Fuck! Electric. You know, think of other, like, do this. I like them. Nod your head if we're on the right track. Electric rock. Ghoulish rock.

Ghoul rock. Boom. Metal. Metal. Death metal. Is it a genre of rock? Oh, no. She is furious. Oh, it's time for Oh paint yeah I'm for paint hey guys like you didn't have to do paint electric electric electric guitar

electric eel by MGMT Christmas tree knife Oh lightning bolt. Okay, ACDC. Yes, come on here, do the shot. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that was good. He got ACDC and Muka China. Yeah, what the fuck? Random. And not a drop. What a dog.

What a dog. 152. Betsy, you dog. Yeah, I would have done the same for ACDC yeah that was good that was hard I had rock and electricity

that was it that was yeah I was thinking like a Hell's Bell like a bell it's tough I was trying to think what's the

Agnes Young Angus Young he's like a school boy a little school boy I was trying to think of what his mannerisms were devilish like mad magazine-ish.

He does look like Alfred E. Newman. The one defining characteristic of him is his voice, which in charades does you no favors. You can't do it. You can't work with that. All right, as soon as Kate starts running, the time goes. Please don't fall. What if it impales her chin? I know, I'm very afraid.

Okay, there she goes, there she goes. Oh, no. Stab it, Kate! Stab it! Get it! No! Drop another! Oh, she got it! She got it she got it she got it right before the backhand oh over there studio radio saw TJ producer Stephanie Stephanie Couldn't possibly. Zha. Che.

Steven. Che. Chinese. Rowing. Cigarettes. Eating pussy. Eating pussy. Cunnilingus.

Cunnilingus. Stroking it. Stroking it. Oh, he's stroking it hard. Stroking it silly. Where is he eating the pussy? Eating the pussy in the ocean. Oh, he's on a boat. On a canal?

Oh! Eating pussy on a plane. Mile high club eating pussy. Pussy canal. What kind of boat? In a canal? A tugboat. A tugboat.

What kind of boat? Rowboat. Rowboat. Rowboat. Canoe! Eating pussy on a canoe! Oh shit, I didn't put a shot in. A poor shot.

Oh shit! Any drops? Any drops? Time! No drops! A minute three. Oh my god. Okay. She's in first. Any drops? Any drops? Time No drops A minute three Oh my god Wow okay

She's in first Wow Good work Good charade work Yeah And it was Che what? Eating pussy on a rowboat On a rowboat

You guys said everybody but Che I know I thought I was like is Kyle fucking with me Yeah my bad I thought after Mook went That you would go back to that world It's the most common of people

Of course they're my friends I can't wait to send that video to my physical therapist It's all been paying off Jeff thank you Who's next Che have you eaten pussy on a robot? No, I think logistically that would be pretty tough. How? Kanye did it.

On a robot? Did he really? Kanye did do it. No, he got head. He got head. He was bare ass. That's pretty different. With those platinum teeth.

Che, would you like to try TJ's stuff? Yeah, one of them. Sure. Steph. I did not pour very much vodka into the plate i will be honest minute three i'd like to get out of it definitely spilled yeah oh oh a minute 13 then tj's a rat i have the worst angle for seeing kb still in first i'm a pretty drunk yeah wasted I'm pretty buzzed

Oh you pussies are feeling it Do we want to get someone else? Yeah we could Whoever wants to drink Come down Open invite Cave is packed Look at that cave

It's a shakyanky ass cave today Look at the cave With the meat mill french fry legs Watching Where's Nicky Smooks He talks a big game Isn't that how Oh

French fries on his lap By the french fries All over him We should get Tate in here And make him drink After the night Bro Did you see that video

Of him in the booth Nine beers Actually I'm gonna Yeah I did see the video unbelievable it's so funny this is at the first pitch he was at was that a minor league team i'm gonna go get him yeah yeah they had him doing dizzy bat they had him doing he he was doing the 999 and on his ninth beer they called him up to the booth to like about what he was doing there. He was just fucking ripped.

That's a way to do it. Did they know what he was doing or they were oblivious? I don't know if they knew. But they asked him if he's been following the game. He's like, I've been watching, but I have no idea what's going on. Very funny video. How did Blutman do with all

the sweet treats? We're going to have you drink a little bit and run. Why is he shoeless? Che, why'd you take off your shoes? That's what I should have did for China. Fuck. Shoeless? Yeah, you could have said...

I would have just said barefoot. Why is he shoeless? Che, why do you have your shoes off? The flip-flops. You're wearing flip-flops? Can I ask what they're made of? Oh. Alright, whenever it's thrown,

Che. What? Dive! Dive! Fool! Oh, nope. Gotta drop another. Drop another, Danny. You can throw it away from him if you want. Make him run. Oh, my God.

He's going to cross chop. Oh, no. No. Oh. There it is. Right on your feet. Right. Left foot. Left foot.

Left. No. Other. Behind you. The hardest prompt. Behind you. Behind you. Watch the blades.

Oh, my God. Just it's a blade of chaos kind of. We're drinking. You got to join us. We're doing a blade of chaos. We're're drinking you gotta join us doing a blade of chaos we're drinking a lot you know i had a lot to drink last night oh we had no idea headband head head hat hat hat talking about hat purple hat corn on the cob hat cheese head i don't know i don't know what this is is this related to food a hat on. Is this related to food and hats? Yes. Okay.

Like a cornucopia on a head? Nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom? Nom, nom? Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Oh, wait. How many noms? Vietnamese farming hat.

How many noms? Are we talking about nom? Are we talking about Vietnam? Okay. N-O-M. It looks like you're Namin. You're Namin. Namin on...

Nominee? Oscar nominee? Was this on your Instagram comments when you were cooking Stephen Chay? Wait, head or hat? Is the phrase Nam specifically in this clue? Yes. N-O-M. Hat? All right, what are we forgetting? Nom? NOM. Big head nom. Anomaly.

A nom, a nom. Jay, come paint! Oh no! You have to go to Microsoft Paint. Oh, fuck. It's a fun game. NOM. What could it be? So, like a word? It's a sentence. It's a sentence. I don't know what this is, guys.

Okay, there's the hat, I'm assuming. With a huge brim. Giant brim hat. Two holes duck bell. Cookie monster hat. Fuck yeah. The cookie monster hat? Oh, because cookie monster hat.

All right, come do the shot check. Well, you said nom was part of it. He did. Let's see if any spillage. Any spillage. Oh, he's bending the plate. Good strategy. Oh, it all spilled instantly.

Dude, the Nick juice is nasty. 228. All right, Che. 228. Decent run, Che. Decent run, Che. Tate. What's going on here?

Tate, we are drinking a lot, and we thought maybe you'd want to join us. Yeah. When I heard drink. Keep it going. Hold my hands, Nick. Oh, they're wet as fuck. Why? There's a good chance I'm throwing up if we're drinking here.

Oh, you. Dog it. Hot dog it. I'm ready. Tate, it's just Nick juice, a quick shot of Nick juice. Okay. What is Nick juice? You just got to get on your knees and take some Nick juice.

Is that right? So explain to me what's going on. So you're going to grab the Blades of Chaos. You can start running across the gym with the blades. You'll be a Kimbo. And it will be as soon as the balloon drops. You stab the balloon with the blade. If it pops, there will be a prompt

inside you have to act out that prompt okay we don't guess it in one minute you have to go to microsoft paint after we get that you come here swig my juice and that if it spills on the newspaper that's plus 10 seconds simple as that you better swallow i'm looking for a time here yeah yeah it's time based so all i'm drinking is what's in there yeah yeah what's in there nick juice it's just nick juice yeah um how was last night i mean i saw it yeah so from your perspective how was last night i mean i will say this i'm disappointed in my performance but when you look at it 16 ounce beers i finished nine of them yeah that's 12 beers and then so i'm like all right i because i know i can eat a lot like i was like all right i'm gonna be able to do this i had two innings to eat nine hot dogs i felt good about it i go to the concession you felt good about it i didn't feel great but like oh that's

a horrible was this uh always the strategy like get all the drinks done and then do the hot dogs i thought yeah it happened that way i thought i going to be done with the beers before that part of the game. So I thought, and then I was just going to eat the rest of the game. But I get to the nine hot dogs, go to the concession stand, and they're like, hey, it's Hot Dog Wednesday. We're sold out. What item do you want to do this with? You fucking idiot.

You fucking idiot. You tried the challenge on Hot Dog Wednesday. That's the biggest mistake a man can make. Oh, my God. So I went brats. They gave me nine brats. Oh, that's so much thicker. And I had six outs, nine brats.

So people can say I didn't finish the challenge. I finished seven brats in six outs. But people can say you didn't finish the challenge. You didn't finish. Yeah, we can say that. People can say correctly. Yeah. I did.

So all I'm hearing, you drank zero 12-ounce beers and ate zero hot dogs is what I'm hearing. I had 12 beers and seven brats. You went 0-4 on the 9-for-9 challenge. Yeah, this was tough. Look at the kid trying to sell things to me. Oh, no. I hate that. I've been there.

Kid's doing a fundraiser behind me. Oh, no. I'm sure they'll have you back. Did see me go on the broadcast so funny I was crying you I was crying I sat down and I said what's the score of this game I haven't really been watching did you know that did you know that you were going to get called up for that or it was like they I said I would do it but then they waited until i had i finished my ninth beer on the broadcast and then some guy came in i don't know if this part's true or not oh god no one's home i'm very excited um what's the score again what's the score was this being broadcast like over the stadium it's all it's all no it's on like espn plus or something so I might try and find that tape.

Did you get any pushback from – did you hear any criticism as far as – I remember when I called the St. John's basketball game on Fox. I just searched St. John's basketball just to see if anybody was – and it was just a flood of like, who the fuck is this fucking guy off my television, on and on and on. And I was laughing so hard at myself. Did you look into any of that? Like, why the fuck is this? Get this fucking guy off my television, on and on and on. And I was laughing so hard at myself. Did you look into any of that? Like, why the fuck is this guy on the broadcast? I need to look into if this rule is real.

Because I made a fool of myself on the broadcast. I was 9, 16-ounce beers deep, went on the broadcast. And then someone comes in, like, grabs me and goes, hey, there's a rule that you're only allowed to do this for half of an inning. Oh, yeah, that's a rule. What do you mean? No, I've read that. That's Wisconsin State Law. That's, what was that? Triple A?

No, that was just our college thing. That was our, because it's like a bunch of college guys. Oh, who's listening to that broadcast? What's the baseball team? The Madison Mallards. And they play in what league? The Frontier League. No, the Northwoods League. And it's college? It's like a summer college league, right? the baseball team the madison mallard and they play in what league the frontier league oh no the northwoods league north and it's college it's like a summer college league right yeah yeah the right fielder came and gave from louisville came and gave me his batting gloves so i wore him for

the rest of the night it was very nice did he think you had cancer no no hey it keeps throwing up speaking of taking some heat you know who took heat was Liam. What did he take heat for? Because he introduced me. First of all, the most embarrassing moment of my life was last night. Getting ready. I'm thrown in the bullpen, getting ready to throw out the first pitch. And they tell me – they said there was another first pitch. I said, who else?

You had the co-collab? There's only one first pitch. I said, how is there another first pitch? And they said, oh, we let anyone who wants to throw one, throw one. The kid was seven. He brought all his – it was like a birthday party. There was like 12 seven-year-olds on the field. And then he threw, and then Liam took the mic and introduced me. Oh, no.

And he said, Wisconsin, like Wisconsin, there was a guy as we were walking out screaming, it's Wisconsin. He said, Wisconsin? He should be ostracized for that. Yeah, he should. Fair enough. I remember I said, Waukesha. I remember people being pissed about that on Twitter, yeah.

He said he's in Saban, Minnesota now. Oh, yeah, they're on their road trip, Minnesota now. Oh, yeah. They're on their road trip, right? On their road trip. Stop for... He got gummy tummy last night. Oh, no. Was that his approach was gummy?

No, he had to do nine items. He did an ice cream sandwich, and that's what he got to. He had two things? That's it. He didn't even get to the gummy yeah oh wait a minute he had a tough he has that's weak no he was he told me this was gonna happen so he's lactose intolerant he said no he just he has milkshake sick yeah he's not lactose his milkshakes yeah he's been hospitalized twice by milkshake yeah mostly sports he has

milkshake sickness explain this this to me, guys. Milkshake syndrome? Sickness. Sickness, yeah. Where twice in his life he's consumed milkshakes and had to go to the hospital. And we said, that's just lactose intolerance. And he's like, no, no, no. It's only milkshakes.

Oh, yeah. That is lactose intolerance. Why did he? Okay. But, yeah, he started with an ice cream helmet last night. And then he was my babysitter the rest of the time. So what's next? Next is the independent league.

But the good news, well, I don't know if it's good or bad news. Liam and I both bet each other. And we both failed. So for the next one, he has to dress up as a leprechaun as he goes onto the field to introduce me. Perfect. That plays. That was my idea.

He fucked me. I'm mad at him. His bet was I have to throw the next one left-handed. Oh, that does suck. Because I have to throw a strike. Yeah. That's bullshit. Yeah.

So I'm going to start, like, practice. Oh, you have to throw. Yeah. Yeah. Did you throw a strike last night? Oh, no. It's going to be. Stay tuned for the video. Now, Tate, I don't mean to stir the pot. practice oh you have to throw yeah yeah you throw a strike last night um oh no it's gonna be stay tuned for the video yeah now tate i don't mean to stir the pot but is kelly keegs gonna be in

town next week you don't mean to stir the pot i mean this okay um y'all got crazy beef i've never met her i've never met her in person so i am cheering for team smocking in the first round of the uh oh yeah we play chicago let's get you some drinks dude yeah grab the blades of chaos yeah get the blades of chaos are we doing this so where do i start other side of the gym all right and you have to try and pop the balloon midair how hard is the how hard is it to make it to the balloon it's not i did it you gotta you gotta be a little brisk, but nothing too crazy. Can I give him a lot of vodka? Yeah.

Did you do that to me? I poured a lot for the visual, but I wasn't okay. But it worked out great for another visual. Fantastic, I'm sure. Oh yeah, that's a lot of vodka in the plate.

Plates brimming with Nick's juice. That's a big plate of vodka. Alright. Alright. Was he wrapping the chains? He's wrapping the chains around his hands. That's how Kratos does it as well. Got to wrap up.

The best time is a minute eight. Yeah. Who has it? KB. Ah, silver's yours. That's nice of you. I'll hand you silver. Hey, you want silver?

He's got some chain. He'll start as soon as he throws. Tate's got some Che and I'm asking a million questions here we go Whoa, oh grab the prompt. Oh, he's going for you. Is that the one that Airplane okay, 911 Wow. wow oh oh not over uh watch terrorist watch 9-11 watch it element uh what time was 9-11 2001 be scarred for life because you watched after time after 9-11 on live tsa tsa uh is it that movie time the time before 9-11. TSA. TSA. Is it that movie? The time before 9-11. United 93. Is it that movie with Robert Patterson?

Smoking cigs. September 10th. September 12th. That would be a great one. Robert Patterson. 20 seconds until you go to paint. Shit. We talking war-ish?

Drop. George Bush throws out the first mission 9-11. Yeah. George Bush. No. George out the first pitch to 9-11. Yeah. George Bush. No. George Bush. Is it George Bush? George Bush did 9-11.

George Bush did 9-11. George Bush did 9-11 and then threw out the first pitch. Hey, bear with me. Is it related to sports? Is it related to a date or time? 9-11. Me, time. Yes, 9-11.

Time, 11. 9-11. 9-12. 9-10. Time. Paint. Paint. Uh-oh. Fuck, 11. 9-11. 9-12. 9-10. Time. Paint. Paint. Uh-oh. Fuck, I really thought it would be like fall. He did the first

pitch thing and I was like, that's... We got 9-11 so fast. And then... Oh, he doesn't know where to start. Swirl. Clock. Watch. Noon. Noon. One, two, three o'clock. Three o'clock on 9-11 for

second Tower 3 p.m. time Time what time I'm stop impact Okay time and then you're pointing to a square. Make that square something. Time to square. Time to... Time...

Oh, no. What is that? Okay, that's a cinnamon toast crunch. French toast, yeah. I'm going down. Time to French... Oh, my God, Tate. That's your...

Is that a... Is that a twin tower? That square? That perfect square? No, there's the tower's escalator. Time to get out. Oh, it's on the smoke? Tay, my boy. The tower's time.

Tower time. Two times. Okay, two times. So, towers. The twin tower's time. Is that a dude? Tay, I'll let you say one word. Robot. What?

What? What? Wait, was I allowed to say a word that is in it? Yeah. Machine. Time machine. Gun Kelly. Go back in time and undo 9-11.

Go back in time and undo 9-11. Give me a shot. Oh, my God. A little bit hot. Come to the shot. Take the shot. Finish strong. Finish strong.

Eat your plate. Oh, no. Play it a vodka. Play it a vodka. Get a warm back. 16-ounce beer. Soak it up. I'm dragging.

Oh, he spilled. He spilled everywhere. The most spill I've ever seen. Spilled all over. That's one of the worst. Thank God for Mook, or that would have been the worst. Yeah. Yeah, thank God for me fucking up everything.

Sit down. Sit down. Yeah, Nick Juice. Yeah, I thought it was water. I mean, you said vodka. Oh, my God. You spilled a little. Sorry about that.

How would you have done it? That was a hard prop. That was a bad drawing of a machine. I know. What is that machine? What were you going for? It's a piece of cereal. That's a taste you can see, brother.

Let me say this. I got out of the gates quick. Yeah, you did. I i got it and then it was 9 11 time machine i got 9 11 yeah acted that out very well you got time time how the fuck do you do machine i would have stepped into something and maybe i tried titus i tried to do a pitching machine you got first pitch well i got pitch and then i immediately and then i couldn't stop thinking about george bush throwing out the first pitch after 9-11. That's all.

I would have guessed machine if you did a machine. If I would have done the machine. If you did a machine, I would have guessed machine. All right. Well, fuck. You should have took your shirt off and been Bert Kreischer. And then you yelled robot. Oh, I know.

Yeah, but I didn't know I was allowed to say the word. I was trying. 9-11 time, I don't know, machine. Oh, my God. Was that the worst time? Yeah. Fuck! Was that worse than mine? You want to go again? Yeah't know. Machine. Oh, my God. Was that the worst time? Yeah. Fuck. Was that worse than mine?

You want to go again? Yeah, for 10 seconds. Yeah, you go again. Redeem yourself. Go again. Try to beat your time. Yeah, yeah. How many more clues do we have, Nick?

Danny, how many balloons do we have up there? Two. Two? Two. Whoever wants to go, go. Yeah, anyone? Who should we get Laura's yours

Is everybody still drinking I brought the dog today Yes Osmo I see them like every day now On my walk to daycare It's a delight Look at that haircut

Look at that Wait a minute Look at that tail Who you speaking on Osmo On the doggo Look at that haircut Is that Jake's Yes on? Osmo. On the doggo. Look at that haircut. Is that Jake's?

Yes. I wonder why I had to get the haircut. I wonder if anything got in the fur. Should we present another drink while we keep playing? Yeah, present a drink. Get Jacob the intern to do the game. Yeah. Is he over 21?

Yeah, he is. How old do you have to be to drink on camera? I think you have to be like 25, right? Is that the rule? Wait, okay. Nah, Sass is... I didn't know. What's four?

Four balloons left. Oh, let's get to him. I don't want to drink that much. I just want to watch you do charades, to be honest. I'll go again if you want. Can the intern pick which one of us has to do the vodka for him?

I don't know what the drinking rule is for interns on camera. It's promoting alcohol. Yeah. So they can do it? Can he just come in here and point of us has to do the vodka for him? I don't know what the drinking rule is for interns on camera. It's promoting alcohol. Yeah. So they can do it? Can he just come in here and point at who has to do it? All right, let's have him do it. Yeah.

21. Mook, you fucked me already. I just got a mention on Twitter from Viva about talking shit about Kelly. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. I mean, that had nothing to do with what we were doing. I mean, I drank whiskey, vodka, Aperol. A man's a chumbawumba song right now.

Would you like to expand on your thoughts on Kelly? Just for clarity? Yeah. No. Okay. Wait, Viva, start the count in three, two, one. So when you say Kelly's a cunt, what do you mean by that? Yeah.

Role play it. You're Kelly the cunt. Walk in. You just said. Eight. Next week will be interesting. When is it? I love you, Kelly. Monday they, walk in. You just said. Hey. Next week will be interesting. When is it? I love you, Kelly.

Monday they come in? I don't know. That'll be our first time seeing each other. Yeah. Okay. Are you going to dab her up? Probably size each other up. I don't know.

Who makes the first move? I think you challenge her one-on-one in basketball. That's how this company works. Right. Smart. Established, yeah. Or a rap battle. How they send out.

What do they do? Like in Troy, they send out one person. Yeah, you have a champion. I'll be the Chicago office's basketball player. Kelly will be the New York office's basketball player. Yeah, you play one-on-one. I think that's how you have to settle the beef. Settle it.

I accept. You were the ref for the White Sox-Dave thing. Yeah. What was your take on that? Dave being Dave. Yeah, being very confident, getting humbled, and then pretending like he was never confident the first time. Trying to walk it all back.

That's the classic Dave experience. The Dave playbook is one page. I would fuck you up. He's like, okay. The challenge happens. He loses in humiliating fashion, and then he goes, I never said that. Play the tapes. That's not what I said. Confidence, failure, confusion.

Conrad, since you were throwing balloons, you were kindly doing that. Why don't you come down and try this? Yeah. Yeah, let's get Danny. Also, should we spin the wheel again? Yeah, let's keep going. Let's keep sipping. Get the next drink.

Hit an ad. Get the next drink. My an ad. Get the next drink. My favorite drink is the High Noon. The High Noon Vodka Iced Tea, to be specific. It's time to finally ditch those sugary malt-based teas and try High Noon Vodka Iced Tea, made with real vodka and real iced tea. It's non-carbonated with no added sugar and 90 calories.

High Noon Vodka Iced Tea is great for any occasion under the sun, and it comes in four delicious flavors you've got to try. Original peach, lemon, and raspberry. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Finally, Kate's Bevy. It looks so good. My word is Republic. Oh, I know what this is going to be. Can you look at my drink?

Look at it real hard. It's green. And guess. Hold on. Is it your green one is that the is that yours yeah oh I can't wait to drink that is it is that supposed to be eyeballs Yoda baby Yoda you made Yoda oh oh oh connect the dots I what's what's he was in charge it was a public story I get the I get the Jedi Connect the dots. What's the Republic of Star Wars? Is he in charge of the Jedi? You made Yoda against the Empire.

Oh, my God. You made Yoda. Thank you, Kate. I'm damp. These look great. Kate, what am I sipping on? Look at these Yodas. Can we?

Fancy, fancy. It looks just like... Oh, that looks awesome. Sorry. It's so full because of the ice. Whoops. Oh, that's good. So, New Amsterdam melon vodka. No free heads.

A little bit of melon liqueur. Lime, blueberry, something fizzy that I forget what. And then something else. Oh, limes, like fresh lime juice. Maybe a little too much lime juice. No, it's very refreshing. It's pretty limey, but good. I like lime, so.

This reminds me of the Kool-Aid that I was served at vacation Bible school. Yes. Powder in a Gatorade jug. Yep. Powder in a Gatorade jug. Yep, in the orange Gatorade jug. What? Sip on her Yoda. Is it a Yoda? Yeah, look at it.

Look at the little Yoda. Is it a Yoda? The Republic was just like all the Jedis. It was the good side versus the Empire, right? Every once in a while, I just catch a glimpse of your dress. How do you just catch a glimpse? Kate's doing me dirty. Oh, Kate, this is so good.

This is damn good. Yeah, it's really good. Kate keeps stealing the flags, so all the clips, I'm just in a dress. Yeah, right. This makes it all. It's Betsy Ross. Oh, Kate. It's flag day, but you're in a dress. Yeah, right. This makes it all. It's Betsy Ross. Oh, Kate. It's flag day, but you're taking a shell.

It is pride of us. Yeah, exactly. Kate, wow. Wow, those are good. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. No, these are good, Kate.

These are so good. These are really good. I have a dinner reservation that I'm going to be in trouble. Oh, fuck. I have a show tonight. You about to order all the apps. Yeah, when I get a little tipsy, I'm app crazy. Yeah, I get three.

Okay. Just do your show now, and then just play the video tonight. Oh, yeah. What about that? That would be a good bit, a prerecorded. Prerecorded stand-up set. Prerecorded bit. Oh, where's your show?

Laugh Factory. Should I show up bleeding again? Yeah, I mean you bleed. And not a single drop. Oh, come on. Oh my God. Oh, that was puke. That was not puke.

That was an emission and a puke. Wow. I think you gotta go again you've got to go again. You have to go again. Buddy, your clue was China. You did nothing but Japanese. What would you have done for China? I would have done some Chinese shit.

Open a fortune cookie. Chopsticks. I want redemption right now for Connor Mook Don't fuck me on the plate I'm not gonna fuck you on the plate Don't fuck me on the plate Yeah Needed

I needed this I'm gonna fuck you on the plate I didn't It'd be a real shame if none of us could figure out what he was. Yeah. No matter what. We just missed the mark on every turn. We just.

He did a wonderful job acting it out. Boy, we just couldn't. Yeah, we just couldn't get it. Thank you, Intern Luke, for wrapping the chains. Yes, very nice. Also, I'm sorry. These are bad. No, Kate, they're good. They're a little bitter. Kate, Yes, very nice. Also, I'm sorry. These are bad. No, they're good.

They're a little bitter. Kate, these are very good. Kate, I would never compliment you unless I meant it. Yeah, I love shitting when I can. Okay. Here he goes. Oh, that was sweet.

That was cool. Skydiver. Inyata. Driving drunk. Driving. JFK getting assassinated. Jumper. Luka Doncic trying to draw.

Are you driving? NASCAR. Look at me here. Are you driving a vehicle? Are you driving the car? No. You're not driving the car. Are you getting shot?

You are getting shot. Are you getting shot by a gun? You're getting... Hold on. Slingshot. Who else got shot by... Goliath. Is this Liz Gonzalez?

Yes. Oh, oh. Liz Gonzalez getting pummeled by a Honda CRV and landing into the awning of an H&R Block. He's right. And time. Hold on. Hold on. Hold it.

Hold. Hold. Hold, buddy. Don't get it on that paper. Oh, he did it. Are you guys ready for Connor Mook's new time? Is that a record? Yes.

57 seconds. Oh, he's the winner. Who that a record? Yes. 57 seconds. Oh, he's the winner. Who's going to beat him? Who's going to dethrone him? Some maniac. I fell on the ground five times for Liz Gonzalez gets hit by a car. Oh. That was pretty good.

Yeah, it's pretty good, Mookie. It's good acting. I'm out of breath Let's get some fresh Fucking Blood in here And have Fresh blood Fresh fucking blood

Dude Alright let's We still have Plenty of cocktails Oh boy We still have plenty Of cocktails On the table

And somebody brought A bag of Alcohol I'm afraid of moops Yeah oh god Whatever this is Who brought a bag Oh alcohol? I'm afraid of moops. Yeah, oh God. Whatever this is. Who brought a bag of, oh God damn it.

This ruined the aesthetic of the whole table. He brought a bag of brown juice. I don't know if the camera can pick this up. Moops drink is, there's like two,

let me move some shit around, two protein powder shakers. He got a bag of syrup. Yeah. There's a fucking, a red solo cup that's been cut up. Okay, that one's your pussy. What?

You're gonna have to elaborate. All right, so I got length. I did length. That doesn't help. I did length of genitalia In the office Or on the act So Kate

Yours has Yours is cut up with band What? Why does that one cup Have ham hanging over the edges Of it What does that mean? I think Kyle I gave you the bag dick because I ran out of cups.

Okay, okay. Stephen Che, you have the large black blender bottle. Nice. Zah, you have the tinier black blender bottle. I have the tiny red cup. I'll pass them out. Pass them out. So this is art.

It's art. This is art. Installation. This actually makes sense. Against all odds, this actually, the kid did it. He is art. It's art. This is art. Installation. This actually makes sense. Against all odds, this actually... The kid did it. He did it. It does make sense.

Oh, you cut yourself on this one. All right. Watch out, Pat. Okay. Do you want a straw, Kyle? Do I want a straw? For the bag? Yeah.

Funny thing is, this will absolutely tear up my lips. Something that has already been done yeah wow which is really deep a nice homage yeah thank you oh wow thank you and what's this drink again what's in it uh whiskey whiskey wild cherry pepsi lemon oh that sounds good whiskey cherry pepsi lemon okay oh this is basically's drink, but really sad. Uh-oh. Three inches is probably good. That was... Are they not good?

I don't know. It was a stark contrast to the Yoda. Is this like the cheapest cup ever? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Might be time to mix it in water. Yeah.

Oh, boy. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. You guys don't like it? It's pure whiskey, bro. I love it. And I know yours is tiny and red. Hell yeah. Oh, my God. Oh. It's pure whiskey, bro. I love it. And then yours is tiny and red.

Hell yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, heavy pours. Oh, my God. I can't help but notice you gave yourself like seven drops of alcohol there. Yeah, I got a tiny little red cock. It's a compliment. Jay. Yes. No, he just gave us a lot

I'm saying we're in the same boat It's strong but it's good If I got that at a bar I'd be like yeah I'd be pumped That's a double whiskey coke right there This would have been the best drink I've ever had in my life at like 19 years old I think what I like

about it is just it's so easy to drink that. Oh, boy. I could have got you a straw. That's on me. I'm sorry. We're sloth. No, it's delicious. Thank you.

We're slothed out. Bigger dates. Yeah. We got to get the cameras off us and make someone do the challenge. Yeah, strive for the best. Who do we want? Anyone.

Really, just anyone. Anyone who's willing. Anybody who's watching and willing. Free time to get. All right, Henkel, get your ass in here. Get on camera. Who was that? Oh, there's a third one.

Can we get a POV of the... Yeah, let's get Danny or... There's Conrad's goofy ass. Is anyone else up there? Got the right shoes on today? Skilled ventriloquist. I don't know. That's making me sick as fuck.

Where is everyone? Oh, my. Happy Friday. I guess it's... Conrad! Yeah, there's a down. What was he doing? Make Danny do it. Conrad! Yeah, there's a down. What was he doing? Come down!

Luke, can you throw the balloon to him? Cool. That sounded sick. I'm wasted. Yeah, I'm pretty done. How many more? We got two more? Two more.

Mine's probably not good. How's everyone doing emotionally? Let talk about it oh yeah just kidding a joke yeah i don't know i thought i'd have a family by now i'm 37 yeah i look back on my life what led to this point when my dad was my age i was 10 yeah yeah and like as i sit here today i don't there's like i don't have a desire to have children but there is like the the pressure that yeah i'm getting up there in age yeah i do think like my when i think through what i thought my life would be yeah i figured i'd be a father by now and i'm not and you know I'm kind of juggling you know being happy with where my life is but also wondering did I go wrong and if I'm you know there's not it's not an overwhelming sense of failure but the lingering doubt is there for sure my ancestors survived wars

famine plague uh all to keep my small yet strong family line going and my mom every day hounds me you got to keep this going you're the last terranier the last male you know you have to have a boy you have to have a boy i've none yeah zero heirs right now surviving i mean my family you know my family survived since the creation of man uh technically and doesn't end with me because i just decided to be a goofball yeah it's something I think about every day and I have to face the disappointment every time I come home

for holiday what killed off that family line what I will say I am I will say I am looking forward to the weekend oh my god yeah TGIF baby oh fuck I'm gonna try to hit the beach, might get around the golfing. Life is good.

I'm on pace to get dementia before my future child graduates high school, but we're in a good spot. So my word was thing. So I based my drink off of Thing from Fantastic Four. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, boy. Mine's the orange one in the pitcher, if you want to pour.

Orange is used loosely. Very loosely. So it's orange-like Thing from Fantastic Four. Oh, it's the same color as him. And the liquor in it is made by a guy named The Rock. So it's The Rock's tequila, and it's orange like the thing. Hell yeah. And the thing, remind the viewers at home, we all, of course, in the room remember,

the thing superpowers, he just gets rock hard. He's a way less cool Hulk because he can't un-Hulk. What's his line? He says, it's clobberin' time. It's clobberin' time. It's clobberin' time. That's what a lot of guys say if they drink too much of this and

get home to their wives. For sure. A little domestic violence joke. That's the light little thank you. Their favorite sports team joke. That's the light little. Thank you. Their favorite sports team loses. Yeah. It's clobbering time.

I had a long day at work and the chicken's not done. This smells really good. Danny, who's throwing it to you? Oh, wow. It's very refreshing. Are we enjoying this? Yes. Say what's in this again, TJ.

Tequila and orange beverages. Orange colored or orange? The fruit flavor. It's not orange juice. Orange flavored drink. Orange flavored drink. So it could be any. Oh, you like it kyle yes a little dash of clobber in time oh it's can't do tequila oh tj tj tj little strong A little strong, brother? A little strong, brother.

I fucking love TJ. Just like the thing. TJ, that's strong, TJ. It's strong like the thing. I like this. That's because you have a dependency. You have a dependency. Go back to some Yoda here. Okay.

Yoda was my favorite. Really? Yeah. Are you just saying that? No, I'm not just saying that. Just fucking take it. It's very limey. I like lime.

Limey. Is that a term for a person? What is lime disease? It sounds fun. It's not. That's a tick. It sounds like you get some ticks and you start losing the feeling in your cheeks. Yeah, not fun at all.

But lime, as far as names go, that sounds kind of lime. It sounds fun. It sounds like a margarita. It's a little town in Connecticut. Yeah. They're bad this year. Is that so? It's a town in Connecticut.

That's where the disease came from. Hey, it was made. Danny? Filled with a Y. You're on camera. Yeah. Nothing, bud. Do you have the shot port for Mr. Conrad?

Nope. Get it, get it. My mom just sent me a gif of me throwing up. It made the gif. It's already a fucking gif. Is it on the forums yet? Yeah, it's on the 4chan forums. It's going to hit the forums.

Once it hits the forums, it's so fucking toast. This is a weird sentence, but true. My large Hanes are just soaked in mook juice right now. Your large Hanes underway? soaked in mook juice right now. Your large Hanes underway? That's not the first time. Not her Hanes. Not her Hanes. All right, Conrad, you fool.

Sponsor me. Whenever you're ready. I feel like he's going to crush this. Whoa. You're right. All right, DC. Oh, he's all chained up. He's slow and steady.

Driving. Shot in the head. JFK. JFK. JFK shot in the head. JFK assassinated in Dallas. JFK assassinated in Dallas. Yes, yes.

Come to your shot. Plate, plate, plate. Oh, no. Don't spill. Don't spill. Holy. Oh, no. Don't spill. Don't spill. Holy shit. Holy shit. Don't spill.

Time. 28 seconds. Conrad. Conrad. Conrad, you fucker. That ain't good, baby. Real man. Real man.

Take a seat. Take a seat. Real man. Kyle, you guessed that for the other one. Yeah, that's crazy. I did. I did. That's crazy. Kyle, you guessed that for the other one. Yeah, that's crazy. I did. I did. That's crazy.

I'm in sync with something. How bad is that vodka? Had to go vodka, huh? Yeah. He's a fucking asshole. On a plate, no less. Yeah. On a plate.

Danny? Hey. What's going on, man? Nothing. I'm just standing out there with swords chained to me for 15 minutes going on, man? Nothing. I'm just standing out there with swords chained to me for 15 minutes. Yeah, that's awesome. Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

Rough day at work. Oh, my God. The sickest swords in the world. I got to wield the coolest sword. I held the blades of chaos. Oh, my God. That's what the god of war wielded when he killed Zeus. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. Scram. Scram, kid. Scram. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Scram. Scram, kid. Scram. Thanks for having me, guys. Get someone else. Who's it going to be? Me.

That's me. It's going to be Titus by a hair. My word was wealth. That's why Mook's running away. Yeah, he was wealth. That's why Mook's running away. He's not allowed to have it. Yeah. Get out of here, dog.

Yeah. Act your wage. What an idiot. He's so dumb and poor um man what you got i was i was gonna bring in a five thousand dollar bottle of champagne uh but i was looking through my cellar and i was like which one and i didn't what you often say a lot of us in community, we say about our bottles of champagne. They're kind of like your kids. You don't want to pick your fate.

You know, you love them all equally. I felt like picking one and bringing them in, bringing it in would be, you know, it would make the other bottles of champagne very sad. So that would have made us feel bad. I bet, you know. No, I made a cocktail. Well, Paige made it for me. So we'll see how it turned out out but she said she was a bartender I didn't realize that

I was going to make the drinks and Paige said I used to be a bartender you want me to make them I said I sure do I thought she was a nurse I can believe that too I thought she was hibachi no no we would have heard that that would have made headlines

yeah the cocktail is called a gold rush I think it's just bourbon and lemon juice and honey I think You would have read that in the Eagle. That would have made headlines globally. Yeah, the cocktail is called a Gold Rush. I think it's just bourbon and lemon juice and honey, I think. Kate, your head whips so fast when you heard bourbon. You're a big bourbon girl. Yeah. I was going to make a cocktail with Goldschlager. Oh, yeah.

And this is true. If you Google Goldschlager cocktail recipes, it just says don't. Yeah? Yeah, you just say Goldschlager cocktail recipes it just says don't yeah yeah you just say google you say goldschlager cocktail and then it just says please don't please please please walk away from the culture that's um that's that alcohol was only for underage people right that's marketed and made for it was almost and people don't realize this it was almost extinct until super bad came out no oh yeah that was the super yeah super and then super bad brought it back it was almost and people don't realize this it was almost extinct until Superbad came out oh yeah that was the Superbad and then Superbad

brought it back it was almost done yeah they probably did wonders for the sales anyway little cocktail called Gold Rush

yeah let's have some Gold Rush never had it in my life don't know how it's gonna taste okay honey I don't know if I've had I went through a huge old fashions

bourbon phase in a the big ice cube oh this is well yeah yeah it smells good oh it smells strong oh no all right all right what's in here uh well it's a gold rush it's bourbon bourbon juice, lemon juice, honey. Fuck it. Yep, it just made me, it actually just made my water, my. Your water? My mouth water. Oh, yeah. Is that something we're telling them?

Your mook juice is watered? No, fuck no. All right. I will say, like, I think I am. Strong. A little. What? A little buzzed.

Oh, yeah. A little buzzed? Yeah. Okay. I just tried to walk. a little buzzed. A little buzzed? Yeah. Okay. I just tried to walk. I'm hammered. Okay. Yeah, I'm fucked. It smells like couch.

It smells like old couch. It smells like honey. The ones that are wrapped. Clear wrapping. Oh, yeah. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of the strong cocktails that you order, knowing it's strong.

Oh, yeah, Jay. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's all bourbon. It's like straight bourbon. Maybe I need to stir it more. Ugh.

Yeah, good drink. That's wealth. That's what we're living in. It's like I'm in the ritz carlton times of prosperity for sure i had this in the saint regis so as danny conrad was acting out jfk getting assassinated getting his head blown off um by the assassin uh or dawn on me or assassins well that's that's kind of the point I want to raise here. Second most famous assassination in a car is what? Princess Diana.

Oh. However you want to look at that. If you want to look at that, shout out. Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Franz Ferdinand, right? Franz Ferdinand. On June 28, 1914. The same birthday as Rob Dyrdek and Ellie Schnitt.

Right. And you. Right. So what? Right. So here's my question for the room now. And John Elway. Franz Ferdinand.

Shot. Killed. Starts World War I. Pretty big moment in history. We all just accept that Gavrilo Princip was the assassin. To my knowledge, not a lot of conspiracy theories out there. You're taught that early. Not a lot of forums started.

This was an event that was not called on film. This was an event that you cannot go to YouTube.com. You cannot follow Darren Rovell on Twitter and have him tweet out the video of it on the anniversary of the event. He would. He would. Because he would. He would damn. He absolutely would. Guaranteed. Meanwhile, JFK

is everywhere. It's all over the place. Yeah, a certain amount of times conspiracies run wild. Why is that? Why don't we have more conspiracies about the event that we don't have video of, whereas the event we do have video of actually raises more questions? Yeah, I think Franz Ferdinand is still alive. I think that's what I'm trying to say here. I think he might be.

Right. The moment was in history where there was no footage. Yes, we should doubt them way more. We should doubt all of them, really. Yes. And yet, when you have footage of an event, you know, yeah.

I don't know where I was going with that. No, powerful fucking shit, brother. Yeah, that was... Makes you think. Got me thinking. I'm thinking hard. Dale on a heart. Yeah, what are you

thinking about dale like thinking like who needs to go next go where type shit uh what type shit the blades of chaos yeah who's gonna be the next big stephanie yeah who's stephanie stephanie you thought you could swig in peace get out of here come Come on, Steph. Last balloon. Oh, she's saying no. Wait, why not? I don't know how to. I've never answered that. Come on, Steph.

It's not going to be like when you went airborne after getting dizzy. You've already embarrassed yourself to the peak. That was her last run. I know it's probably tough to live up to another woman on this show. Oh, God. I understand. I wouldn't want to be you either. Thank you, Kate.

I take that as a compliment. I'm just kidding. Madeline Bauer. He's taking on Maxi Rosenblum, the 19-year-old who has a pro record of 111-3. Here in the blistering heat at the tobacco warehouse in Cairo, Georgia. Madeline Bauer. At amazing speed and murderous hands. Sensational young tiger.

Not bad. Nice type of shit. There you go. Totally. Stephanie? Stephanie. Oh of shit. Stephanie? Stephanie. Oh, yeah. Stephanie?

No pressure. Stephanie. Steph, we need you. To do what? To... Blades of Chaos. To wield the Blades of Chaos. It's a great honor, Stephanie.

Or tag in another person. So many of you have had this honor. Why desecrate it with me? Oh, have some... Deseecrate? Oh, no. We talk about that. It's not every day you get an opportunity to wield the blades of chaos. Facts. He's right. Act out an offensive

charade prompt and then get on your knees and suck down Nick's juice. Jesus Christ. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Conrad did it Did you see how zesty Conrad got down He spread his ass cheeks

Did you see that He like popped his ass out Gasped That wasn't his first time taking your juice No, gone to Conrad Why was he doing poppers before he got down No he did instinctually spread his ass cheeks.

It was weird. We have no one else here at the office. Who else is here? Oh! Half a dozen dudes. Smokes! Smokes! Smokes!

Smokes! Smokes! Smokes! Smokes! Nikki Schmucks. Smokes! Schmucks. Nikki Schmucks! There we go. Huh, what? Wait, we have to make a sound that he'll react to.

I'm so drunk right now. I'm so hammered. I can't think straight. Hold on. Wait, let me confuse him. I can barely think straight. Hold on. Wait, let me confuse them. I can barely see. I play my defense. No.

It's a trap card in Yu-Gi-Oh. Folks, are you ready to wield? Come here, big guy. Take a seat. You need to be a fucking legend. Are you ready? You're about to be a fucking legend are you ready you're about to be a fucking legend all right but yeah all right so pretty simple uh are you hammered yeah pretty pretty simple you grab the blades of chaos on the and then you on the other somebody else uh you grab the blades go grab the blades of chaos a balloon is going to be hoisted down. As soon as the balloon is set off.

You can't hoist down. Nobody can hoist down. Let's hoist down. You said hoist down. You said hoist down. You can only hoist up. I didn't say hoist down. You said hoist down, dude.

Okay, you're going to grab the Blades of Chaos. Someone's going to throw a balloon down. Better. You have to stab it, pop it. A clue is going to pop out. That clue is going to be something you charade to us. That is acting out the clue without speaking.

If you fail in two minutes or the allotted time, you have to go and draw it on Microsoft Paint. If you fail that or succeed at that, you have to go drink the plate of vodka. So regardless, you're drinking the vodka. If you get the charade correct, you go

directly to the plate of vodka. And smokes. If you get the charade correct, you go directly to the plate of vodka. Okay. Alright, bet. And smokes. As soon as the balloon is dropped, you run towards it. You don't start until

the balloon is dropped. Okay. Conrad would have gotten 25 if he had spread his ass cheeks. Luke, clear out the other clues so as to not sow the seeds of

confusion. Mm-hmm. This is like real. Yeah, I'm not buying fake blades of chaos. Yeah. Oh, I sow the seeds of confusion. This is like real. Yeah, I'm not buying fake blades of chaos. Oh, I brought fake blades of chaos. Two balloons left? Cool. Yeah, the turf. Hey, Nick.

Great game. Thanks, man. Yeah, this is... Probably not if we were sober. No. Yeah, not if you were like watching it through a computer. No. Oh, shit. Yeah, I forgot all about that. I was just excited to hang out with you guys.

We're listening in podcast mode. Yeah, if you're here in the moment, it's a delight. Okay. I really want to miss. All my old moths are mothers. Oh, here we go. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Did he miss it? Did he miss it? yes blue blue charade come act it for us Well, what's he doing? What's he doing? I didn't write that shit. Oh, in the closet. In the closet. Pride month.

Coming out of the closet. Drink your shot. Don't spill it. Don't spill. 36 seconds. He's built for it. He's built for it. He's built for it. You suck good.

You suck mean. You suck great dick. I'll be damned. Everything you do. Wow. Good, right? That was legendary. Yeah, you're good.

That was legendary. You know exactly what to do there. Both two hands. He used two hands. I think I just came. That was insane. Oh, shit. Wow.

Oh, we got one more? Every time he's getting head, he wh Wow. Oh, we got one more? Every time he's getting head, he whispers, like, I could do so much better. I gotta tell my boys about this. Yeah, he's pulling his phone out. Boys, tune in, tune in, tune in. Yo, get to the act right now. 30 seconds backwards a few times.

All right, who's getting the honor of last balloon? Get your applause ready. Last balloon. Last balloon. I want someone who wants it. Wants it bad. Wait, is that a drunken intern here? Ella Griff? I have no idea.

Is she here? She's the alcoholic intern. I'm not saying we have to do it. I just want to consider what would be the most offensive? Who would be the most offensive to have do? The most offensive to themselves? Yeah, just like what would be like us overstepping bounds and just like fuck we shouldn't have done that it would have to be a kid or jake's dog yeah have your kid do it yeah call your son um let's get the there's dave oh

making somebody that's sober do it oh yeah oh let's get White Sox Dave to do it. Dave, Dave. But wait, with hat off. God, no. God, no. I need hat off. Dave. Dave. I love Dave. Dave Williams. I like Dave.

Oh, he just swallowed. Holding back puke. I work with Dave. Yep. Dave. I'm adjacent to him sometimes. Yep. I see him now and then.

Oh, there he comes. Oh, here he comes. Here comes White Sox Dave out of the pen. Is that Goldfinger? Goldfinger. No, that's Joey Jones. Joey helped with the testing of this. Yes. I'm fucked up

I am fucked up I'm goofy as hell Are we gonna keep this going or what is Going Should we keep it going guys Can I say I wanted you to sleep over at your house Should we keep it going, guys? Can I say I want to do a sleepover at your house? Should we keep it going? Yeah, when are you sleeping?

I want to do it because I want to. I'm going to go to like TJ Maxx and fix your aesthetic. I got no aesthetic. Oh, you should take that up. I want to make the boys like help me. Oh, an extreme home makeover. That would be great. That would be sick.

Dave, come here. Hey, Dave. Hello, everybody. How are you doing after the picture? The picture? Yeah. Oh, I just muted it and carried on with my life. I took advice from you probably about two years ago now.

Yeah. What was that advice? Just don't address it. Don't address. Stop addressing. Act like it never happened. And how do you feel? What?

How do you feel? DJ. Feel, I mean, I love getting shit on by the internet. act like it never happened and how do you feel? what? how do you feel? feel I mean I love getting shit on by the internet come on keep going you guys can your forehead looks like the wall of a jail cell

yeah looks like shit is that it? no no no we're gonna play a game with you okay what are we doing? blades of chaos

blades of chaos I love it you start over thanks man you start on the turf with the blades No, no, no. We're going to play a game with you. Okay. What are we doing? Blades of Chaos. Blades of Chaos. I love it. You start over. Thanks, man. You start on the turf with the blades. As soon as the balloon is dropped, you sprint as fast as you can with these sharp blades. You pop the balloon. Okay.

There will be a piece of rolled paper that comes out. Out comes a clue. You have to look at the paper and act out what it is. You have one minute for us to guess it. If we don't guess it, you go into Microsoft Paint. And you go into the studio and paint it. Okay. As soon as it's guessed, you go to the plate.

Okay. If you guess it correctly. You go to the plate and you take a shot of vodka. Yes. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Ride or die, no questions asked.

Were the knives these ones right here? Yeah. Did you just say knives? The knives. Oh, silly boy. Okay. Cool. Ride or die, no questions asked. Did you just say knives? The knives. Oh, silly boy. Where do I start? Turf. Conrad. And then I'll wrap those around your wrist.

No, you don't have to worry about that. Conrad. Anybody can throw it. It doesn't have to be danny okay i don't see anybody how are we feeling mark what a day yeah day. Yeah. I'm sorry. Oh, horrible Nikki Spokes gift. I'm sorry. Who's been giffing people lately? You got gift? You got gift already? Spokes' gift.

Gift? He's been gift? Spokes' gift. It's automatic gifts. What if we had a charades episode just to trap people in gifts? Oh, my God. Yeah. That's all charades is.

Nobody's up there? Nobody. As soon as it's thrown, you're good. Nobody's up there? Nobody. As soon as it's thrown, you're good. We should have just seen how long he would stand there holding that. Oh, here we go. Look at him smiling. Wait, Dave.

Yes, Dave. Find the clue. Obviously, you can't speak. Obviously. Where's my wallet? Who's in your... Suck it, big man. Suck it, silly. Big man.

A wide, a wide man. Suck it, a fat man. Joe. Suck it, Mandingo. I didn't write these. Eating a hamburger. Dave. Hamburger't write these. Eating a hamburger. Dave. Hamburger. Hamburger. Talk to us. Is it about

sucking dick? Cheese stick. Is it gay? Sucking out a hot dog. Italian beef. Chili dogs outside the tasty freeze. Dave. Dave. Is it about sucking dick? No. Okay. Why did you suck dick? Is it about a food item? You're sucking dick? No. Okay. Why did you suck dick? Why did you suck dick?

Is it about a food item? You're sucking dick right now. Babe, you're sucking dick. Dave, you're sucking dick. Is it a food item? Oh, Subway. Subway. Subway.

Footlong. Jared. $5 footlong. Jared. Jared's pants. Jared's jeans. Jared. Jared.

Jared's pants. Jared's pants. Jared's pants. Jared's pants. Jared's pants. Jared's pants. Pedophilia. Pedophilia.

Do the shot. Do the shot. Do the shot. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.

Hurry. Hurry. No. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate.

The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. The plate. Do the shot! Do the shot! Do the shot! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! No, I already played it! Play it! Play it! Play the shot! Play the shot! Don't spill it! Don't spill it! Don't spill it, Dave! Don't spill! Oh, he's... Oh!

He's pretty good! Yeah, it's... Don't spill it, Dave! Gotta go fast! Nick's spunk is bad! It's everywhere, Dave! Atta boy! Atta way! Ooh!

Minute 36! Great work, Dave! Good work, Dave! Atta boy! Atta fucking boy! Great work, Dave Dave how you feel take your hat off lay your hair down no

we don't do that the headphones stuck in get the headphones get the headphones why do I need headphones wait wait can I time out? So you're telling me at no point did you mean to look like you were sucking dick?

It's a foot-long sandwich. Five-dollar foot-long. You were sucking dick. You were sucking monster. Hold on. You were sucking the Hulk's dick. I mean, he probably did that a lot. Just so we know the difference. You were sucking the Hulk's dick. I mean, he probably did that a lot. Oh, my God.

Just so we know the difference. What does your sucking dick thing look like? I mean, it was similar to that. Would you go smaller for dick, you think? Yeah, if you had sucking dick as a charade, what would you do? The exact same thing. We got it, though, didn't we? But it didn't cross your mind at all.

You were like this. You were like. You were like twisting on it. All right right quit throwing the head back like that did you did we didn't start an exercise oh my mother's right on me it looks like your rings are closed no my mother's probably because she's also seen the picture and wants to make sure I haven't killed myself. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

But I have to do that because I'm getting the turkey hair transplant with Donnie. Let's see the hair. No. I got a hat on. You're going it out low. Take it off. No. I haven't gotten a haircut either because of Ed.

Because of Ed? Ed. Yes. Ed wanted. Is Ed your barber? No. Ed is perplexed with watching me get a haircut so he was in charge of scheduling a haircut for me uh this week and he literally never did it but your

hair is far more than a week of length i get it cut every month yeah and then i was in europe so i missed my month and i was supposed to schedule the week i got back and that was on ed ed never did it god damn man i know that sucks bad beat right it's a bad beat you can't be like the backwards hat and then like the strip like you know the backwards hat to like look young and then you can avoid that were you aware clearly not mook well yeah because you couldn't feel that on your forehead yeah oh i can't see my own forehead, no. But no, but I mean, even if you had, there wasn't much weight on the forehead.

Yeah. What do you mean weight? Of hair. Yeah, like I threw a hat on and hair got caught. Like it happens, I guess. You went ash catch him and turned it backwards. Yeah, just throw a hat on hastily? Yeah, obviously. Why? just i i don't know there

there's no reason no reason for it i guess you just got to be cautious because everyone has cameras yeah i know i yeah but who cares dude yeah we're grown men yeah what what more do you need to prove i don't there it is the last uh when's the last White Sox Dave W that Viva La Stool posted they don't post the W's we gotta get you a W they only I mean that account specifically yells from everybody

yeah is it not yeah they post out well we got one of you today just crushing charades so that'll go yeah there we go

yeah you made the the boy come the imaginary boy come Jared Fogle would've there it is yeah you literally would've. There it is, yeah. I mean, he literally would've. Alright, Dave.

Somehow on a show with five drunk as fuck people, you... Oh, you guys hammered her down? Nice. I'm on the verge of blacking out. You managed to take us to depths we didn't even know we could reach. Yeah, that was... Dave, why haven't you sired a child yet? Do you worry that... I don't know that I have.

Mark, I feel like the moment you want it, it's going to be too late. Probably, yeah. It's never too late for dudes. It's not. We don't have biological clocks like you guys. Yeah, you guys are fine. But to Kyle's point,

in what state will I be? Right, when my kid is like... Didn't Hugh Hefner have one like. And then he just died. And then he died. He just left his kid. I don't want to be a selfish dad. I want to be able to play with him.

I fear I won't be able to fight the referees in the parking lot after my son's high school basketball game. Right. I want to be winning too. I don't want to lose. No, I want to be like the fun dad. I don't want to be the old dad that you're uncomfortable to go to the house. My dad was 40. He's pretty cool.

Was he? My parents were young. Your dad was 40 when? When I was born. What? Same as me. Oh, wow. All right.

There's hope yet. That is good to hear. There's hope yet. I have three years. Are you trying to shit one out, Kyle? What? Shit a... Are you trying to shit one out, Kyle? What? Shit a... Are you trying to shit one out? Shit a child out?

Yeah. No, that's the problem. I have no urgency. That's a problem amongst all of America right now. Are we in the decline of... Birth rates going down, yeah. Do something about it. But is that a problem?

They say. I don't know who they say. Would you be bummed if you accidentally had a kid, or would you be like, all right. Oh, no, that'd be the worst case scenario. I'd be like living in a, I'd go see the back room repair guy from Breaking Bad if that happened. Okay. You don't understand that reference? It's not that bad. No, you're going to have to explain it to me.

Yeah, break it down. He goes, it's like witness protection for criminals. Slang for abortion? No, that's. You'd run away. I'd run away. Yeah, he ran away to the cabin in like Vermont or whatever it was. Okay.

So you would leave. No, I wouldn't actually do that. I would suck up my pride in your pride and all of that wait what your is that a dent to your pride to bear a child well yeah yeah it is this is so interesting to drunk me go on no there's nothing more to say i think you're to the age where if you have an accidental kid you're just like yeah this is fine that's exactly what would happen yeah yes yeah yes 100 two times would you be like a present father would you be kind of distant yeah kind of

yeah the mother would be in it for all the you know I'd be more in it for the spankings and whatnot. How are you saying the worst? This is why we had you put the headphones on so you could hear yourself. Yet, they don't seem to be working. I could hear myself without the headphones. You would be in it for the spankings. Nick walked out. That's odd.

Dave, did you get eaten? I didn't. That is a. Dave, did you get eaten? I didn't. That is a line from The Simpsons. Okay. They asked Homer or Abraham Simpson why he named his kid Homer. And they're like, I don't know. I wasn't in it for the naming. I was just in it for the spanking and whatnot.

That's funny. We don't have the wherewithal. I'm glad you clarified. I stole that from... It's a callback to a classic sitcom. Yeah. What are you getting into this weekend? I don't know.

I was just looking at the Salt Shed concert schedule. Who's there? I forget who's there. Is that a good venue? I haven't been outdoors yet. It's a good venue. It's combo, indoor, outdoor. Is that like a see whoever there type venue?

They've had some pretty... It's supposed to be awesome. It's awesome. It's supposed to indoor, outdoor. Is that like a see whoever there type venue? They've had some pretty, yes. It's supposed to be awesome. It's awesome. It's supposed to be really good. If a B-minus band rolls through, I should still go. Because the salt sheds a good time. I think you should always decide the concert based on how much you like the band or the musician. That's not always the case.

It's a good venue. You think, no? I mean. It's more of a venue first? I would say the smoke out has turned into you just go no matter what, even if you like country music or not. What's the smokeout? Smokeout?

Barbecue. The Windy City Smokeout. You haven't heard of the smokeout? No, that's why I asked what the smokeout was. If I had, it would be a crazy question. It's like there's Lollapalooza, and then there's the Windy City Smokeout. Oh. Is that a country music festival? Yes, yes. And where is it? At the United Center, in the parking Windy City Smokeout. Oh, is that a country music festival?

Yes, yes. And where is it? At the United Center, in the parking lots of the United Center. Oh, it's outside. It's outdoors, yes. So, like, big names? Yeah, Carrie Underwood's headlining this year. Is she an active big name?

I would say she's a pretty big name, yeah. Last year, Zach Bryan and Luke, it's a four-night thing. Zach Bryan, Luke Bryan were there headlining. Darius Rucker was there last year. They get names. Yeah, that's good. Dave, let me ask you this. Eddie and company toured your apartment, and the video came out.

How do you feel? Did it come out? It didn't come out. It did not come out. I'm not sure, but it's going. It's coming out as we speak. If it hasn out? It didn't come out. It did not come out. I'm not sure. But it's going. It's coming out as we speak. If it hasn't, it's coming out very soon.

How do you feel about the whole thing? It's fine. Do you want to come see my apartment? I do. I want to come hang out and watch fucking... What were they touring for? Morbid Curiosity? Exactly. Because they have a cage of 30 dead rats outside your house?

Yeah. You have that same cage, though, Kate. You don't even realize it. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. It's just boxes littered amongst all animals. Yeah, he's still here. I haven't tried, but he's still here. Maybe. Nick, would you like me to leave Titus?

Do you want to see Dave's apartment? No real desire. No real desire. I don't want you to leave, Dave. We can go there right after this. It's only a few blocks away. Are you afraid that you showed the front door and everything? Eddie did a POV during his apartment.

If there's a loser out there big enough loser out there to care where I live, then that's a reflection on them and not me. Yeah, but it still affects you. I don't think it will. I don't think it will. What if people start Amazon-ing you things?

That'd be sweet. Like gay things. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Like giant Sibians. No, it's not gay. Yeah.

Why is that gay? The Sibian? That's stern, right? Also, why does the size of the Sibian matter? Yeah. A miniature one is straight. Wait, thatian? Isn't that stern, right? Also, why is the size of the Sibian matter? Yeah, a miniature one is straight. Wait, that was only for girls, though, right? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

Awesome. That's the least gay thing that they could send me. Would you have a Sibian set up in your living room? I already do. That's why Ed wanted to see my place so bad. On record, you have a Sibian set up. It's like one of the mechanical bolt type things. Yeah.

Have you been drinking? No, I haven't. You're somehow. He's matched our spirits. This is somehow more like the. All of us combined. This is the most towing the line we've done. He's getting a little.

I love towing lines. If we want to push every boundary possible. You sound drunk. I'm not. He does. every every boundary you sound drunk i'm not yeah you know he's good i'm not i'll get drunk who you voting for this upcoming election do you want to go down that rabbit hole because i will sure oh let's spin that wheel spin the wheel thank god i'm supposed to have the bass guy oh you're having little be the bass god i love B, the base god. Oh, you're having Lil B, the base god? I love Lil B, the base god. He's supposed to be here right now. Oh, my God.

Oh, I love Lil B, the base god. Yo, my God, you're the base god? Absolutely. He's rolling with all the base gods. Oh, my God. Lil B, the base god is the best. He's coming here with more base gods? Yes.

Oh, my God. Do we have extra balloons for him to... Lil B wouldn't fuck with that. Oh, he wouldn't. No. Oh my god. How'd you get Lil B? Dante did, actually. Dante said he was gonna be here at 1.30. He hasn't gotten here yet, either. TJ, can we play his song Video Games? No, but...

Can we play him going through his video games? Yes. Okay. He put out a video of him going through his video games, and he's demon everything classic. It's my favorite video. I got tech and classic. Wait, this is serious, right? Yeah. I'm freaking out.

This is dead serious? Oh, I didn't realize. Oh, yeah. He did Internet 1.0. Yes. He had like 90 MySpace pages for all his music. He's on XXL Freshman right after Kendrick Lamar. Yes. They're back-to-back in the cypher. Here all his music. He's on XRXL Freshman right after Kendrick Lamar. Yes.

They're back-to-back in the cypher. Here's his collection. And to see if we got the same style. I feel like I'm one of the best gamers. You know, we got that. This is classic. This is classic. I got classics.

Just showing off. Classics. Let's keep going. Classics. I had Hitman 2. Oh, was that Splinter Cell? That was Enter Matrix. Classics. Fantastic Four. I had that game. Classics. Let's keep going. Classics. I had Hitman 2. Oh, was that Splinter Cell? That was Enter Matrix. Classics.

Fantastic Four. I had that game. Classics. Who said that? It's Classics. You know it's me. Yakuza. Classics.

Damn. So he's just coming to hang out? What are you guys going to do with him? I mean, he's not lying. I didn't even know Sopranos had a video game, to be honest. This is not something that I play, but it came. It was a free demo. What does he do?

What is he? He's a rapper. He's a rapper? Yeah. He had an album called I'm Gay, parentheses I'm Happy. And it was fantastic. Fuck Kevin Durant. Fuck Kevin Durant.

He cursed Kevin Durant. Wanton Soup. I think I might remember this. Uh-huh. I remember this guy that cursed Kevin Durant. Didn't an. I think I might remember this. Uh-huh. I remember this guy that cursed Kevin Durant. Didn't an NBA player ask him to lift his curse? James Harden, probably. Was it James?

It was James Harden. Yeah, I think James Harden asked him to lift the curse. I think he tried out for the Warriors. Did he curse Kevin Durant like 10 years ago? Yes. And they had a song, Fuck Kevin Durant. Yeah, okay. I remember this guy now.

What are you guys going to do with him? He wants to play basketball. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I remember this guy now. What are you guys going to do with him? He wants to play basketball. Oh. Yeah. Cool. You guys know Bangs, right? Bangs? Yeah.

Let me take you to the movie show. No. No? But I like it. I forgot that the booth's boozing too. Booth's boozing. Yeah. How are we feeling back there?

Good. I was going to offer some Zod juice if some Nick juice runs out. Che? I feel all right. I'm not getting crazy, though. All right. He's sitting in traffic 20 out, he says. Damn.

Hey. That means he ain't coming. He ain't coming. I didn't want to say it until he was in my line of sight for this exact reason. I wouldn't be surprised if that 20 turns into forever. Yay. Yeah. Well, thanks for humoring me on Goofy Cockney today.

No, this was great. What a great time. And now I was nervous. Now I think for next case race, I got a good vibe. It'll be good. When is the case race? Is it coming up? Wednesday.

Wednesday. Recording Wednesday, releasing Friday. But the participants are secret. So if you're in it, keep it quiet. Yeah. I'm excited about my case. I haven't been drafted. Sweet.

So now you just spoiled that surprise that you, you know, now everyone. Well, that was me saying uh i'm fucking doing it oh oh shit dave's oh shit can you can you like booze you caught me at a at a not a crossroads per se but you've never answered a yes or no question yes or no yeah i can. Not as well as I used to. Fair. Fair. Here's Dante. Oh, Dante. What up, B? We're talking a little Israel versus Palestine if you want to catch a mic. I'm not walking into that hornet's nest.

Dante, how are we, dude? One of my favorite things about Dante is how his Boston accent just pops in and out whenever it feels like it. I was just in Boston. I'm not feels like it. I was just in Boston. I'm not talking about that. I was just in Boston this week. So now you speak with a Boston accent? I don't know, man. It might have rubbed off a little bit.

It'll rub back off. Don't worry. You've been on a tour. I'll go back to talking. Terrible. Yeah, I was broke. Dude, I was gone for a week. It sucked. I came home today for 15 minutes.

I got to go to Florida with Nicky Smokes after we hoop with the bass god in a little while. Tell them he's coming back. I'm so excited. I love him. You know who he is? I love Ropey. Thank God, man. I know who he is.

I followed him for like a decade, but I know he's like a rapper. I know that he's other things on i don't i know but i know that he's other things on top of that his lore is incredible yeah it's more about like who he i should have known you would know he refused to take off his white vans until he made a million dollars and at the end of those that run they were the most beat up shoes of all time actually did a song called vans that was fire every song he puts puts out is fire. I'm Gay was an album that changed my life. He has a mixtape with like 600 songs on it, I'm pretty sure. Give Dante a drink.

No, that's, no, no, no. Yo, Legit has over, Blue Flame was a good one. Bro, I think over 100 mixtapes. Yeah, yeah. He made like over 100 MySpace pages so he could have all his songs on MySpace. I did not know that. Yeah, he made a ton of MySpace. Oh, you might have to come on.

I love Lil B. I'd be too mum. I wouldn't speak. Look at some of his album covers. Illusions of Brandor. Nicky Smokes is out. No, no, no. Wait, you're going to Florida with Lil B? No, no, no. Nick, I just came up with my luggage because I had to

go right to the airport after this and he was like See what I'm saying? The airport. I said, I came up with my luggage because I got to go right to the airport after this. And he was like, yeah, you see what I'm saying? The airport. I said, I got to go to Tampa. These are always mixtapes. I'm actually hanging out. I'm going to see Glennie and Tommy and those guys. Oh, at the bachelor party thing.

Tonight. But Nikki's going to watch the Panthers close it out. Dude, that is. What the fuck? The CVS. Look at that.... What the fuck? The CVS? Look at that. Population mixtapes. It just keeps going.

He overloaded DatPiff and the site went down for a little bit. Reed Miller. Can we get him to do it? We're out of balloons. Fuck. That's amazing.

I messaged KB the other day. I was like, hey, do you know who Lil B, the bass guy, is? And he was just like... Wait, KB's... He was like, kinda. Your mic's off. You don't plug it?

Go ahead. You didn't ask me that. Yeah, I did. Pull it up. You responded. You didn't ask me if I knew Lil B. Or did you? Yeah yeah that'd be embarrassing shit oh you're right you asked me if i knew little boozy yeah yeah and i lied to you you're right

right what did you say because i was i didn't want to like interview him you're right you're right i'm afraid of him i've seen seen his compound. The Boozy compound? Dude, he is like a mega, mega millionaire. From what? He invests. I don't know. Yeah. Passive.

Like music. He's done something. He's super rich. Good on Boozy. Good on Boozy. Why'd you ask me that i it was a brain fart on my point you're talking about little b yeah he's he's coming here he's about to be oh yeah what are you gonna do he wants to play you guys in basketball little b yeah he's bringing his

whole team he's oh yeah five guys he he's a good ball player. He's a good basketball player. He's bringing five guys. We can't hoop. He could not. Yo, so I've been texting this guy all week. He's like my new text buddy. Base God? Swear to God. This girl, Danny, who I know who used to work for Comcast here, hit me up randomly on Monday.

And she goes, hey, any chance you want to interview Lil B, Base God? I was like yeah if a girl writes tybg thank you base god on the bottom of her feet he'll post it and then be in contact with you i go wow how like what i'm so confused she goes long story short we started dming a few years ago he hits me up whenever he comes to town she's like we're cool he knows i'm married um i told him about like your podcast do you care if i connect you and i'm like i don't believe this is real but sure so she connects me and he starts like yo what's up fam like oh you're so lucky blessed to talk to you oh now he said he's 20 minutes out and he's like um he's like yeah like i'd really like to

sit down and talk with you but we're really we're trying to hoop more than anything i was like oh let's get our best team i go man i go you're in luck he goes why do you guys have courts by your up go we have courts in the office he said full court full court? I said, hold on. I get a picture from my camera roll, send it to him. He's like, no fucking way. He's like, all right, I'm bringing the whole crew. We got five. You guys got to run five. Are you playing, Dave?

Well, shit, I wish I was. All right. Titus, are you down? You have to play. Dante, who is our squad, Dante? We can't embarrass ourselves in front of the baseball. You just set up a game that we don't have shit. I'm over-served in an address.

I was not told about this prior. I'm out. Get your squad. I'm out. It's your guys. You guys are playing. I'm not playing little B. No, no, no.

I'm not playing little B at all. I'll back him down. Fuck it. Play Mook. Yeah, I'll play. Yeah, Mook should play. I'll play too, Mook. Just so you know i

talked to dan i talked to dan and page about this like wednesday and they were like dan's like i'm on vacation talk to someone else page is like yeah we'll make it happen okay so i figured i figured i think it'd be cool dave you should play no i'll play i'll play but yeah they're pumped he like it's all he's asked me i was was like, what's your ETA? It's going to be crazy when he gets here and no one is here. You guys are going to hate this. Hear me out. We can't end the show until Lil B sits in that chair.

Oh, Kate, absolutely not. We can't. Okay. You're starting to push your luck a little bit. Okay. I agree with that. I love that, Kate. I don't have friends after this.

Lil B isn't coming. I need you guys to hang out. No, he's coming. He's on the Okay. I agree with that. I love that, Kate. I don't have friends after this. Lil B isn't coming. I need you guys to hang out. No, he's coming. He's on the way. He said he is. He's sitting in O'Hare traffic. That's got to hang with me. Sitting in O'Hare traffic?

There's no way. Oh, he's currently. No, no. He was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago. Yeah. Just 20 more minutes. Okay. Titus, you'll love this more than anyone.

What if we hung out together? He thinks we are in the fucking hood. Listen to this. Listen to this. What did he say do you say cutting it close i got my bags and stuff i wanted to drop off at hotel which eta 233 if i came straight to y'all would i keep my bags what y'all security looking like bay area has real issues with theft break-ins etc half my team already on my way to y'all. I said, yeah, we have security. I go, no one at that office would fuck with your stuff. He goes, can we get a security guard or two to watch our

cars? Tell him yes. I said yes. Where does he think we are? I'm going to piss and get in ball mode. Yeah, get in ball mode. I want a collection of the whitest looking dudes.

Where would we ever find them? Jay, we're at Barstool Sports. I don't think we're going to be able to come up with... I don't think you'd

be able to find me I think it's time to put... You can't play Dante. Like Race Wars. Kind of, yeah. All right, guys. Have a good,

blessed weekend. Yeah, that might be the show right there. God bless. Oh, it's not me. God bless. God bless. Bye. Thank you.

I'm so excited. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act. Hey, everybody. Have a happy, safe weekend. Happy Father's Day.

Shout out all the dads. Happy Father's Day, Che. Happy Father's Day, Dad. See you Monday. Love you guys. Bye.