The Yak - The Boys Dogpile & TJ Plays Frogger, Its A Yak For The Ages | The Yak 11-2-21

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

up, up, up, up, up, down, up, up, fuckYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Uh-oh. Where's Brendan? He's not today. Where is that bitch? My mouth hurts, so I feel weird talking. Where are you going to have to go? A man like Brendan would have died after this. Sass would have been... Name is Brendan.

Put out a commission for... What did I just say, Brendan? You did. Are you numb? Yeah, my Name is Brandon. Put out a commission for... What did I just say, Brandon? You did. Are you numb? Yeah, my mouth is numb. You don't look numb. Oh, shit. I'm convinced Sass could overdose on a placebo.

Yes, he would not be here today if he had gotten a root canal an hour ago. Oh, he's not here today. Yeah. Defend your John. Defend your John. Defend your John. Yeah, go ahead. Defend your John.

He's been going through a lot recently. Yeah? Yeah, bro. Like what? Well, that video he put out yesterday was supposed to get 10,000 likes, and it got like 8,000 likes. Fuck. So that's like 2,000 likes short.

So maybe if you guys all had liked the video, and I'm not just talking to you guys. I'm talking about- What is there some sort of time expectation? What if it hits it today? What about me ratio expectation what if it hits it today that's also hurting he's probably gonna throw your ass in federal prison i did tell kb i i really appreciate sass's video being like he did he did a post being like hey everyone who's planning on coming to see me do stand up tonight i'm under the weather it was like one of those official posts That like Tim Dillon No tap type vibe Or Dave Chappelle do Whenever they have to

Cancel a tour date It was a free show Yeah when the Rolling Stones When one of their members Like overdoses And they're like Hey we're gonna have to Cancel like three or four

Dates a year So bear with us I like that You also didn't tell me that You didn't talk to me about that It was me Fuck Yeah we're

Just Getting outrageous Yeah Whoops Yeah Dude I to me about that? It was me. Fuck. Yeah, we're just getting outrageous. Yeah. Whoops. Dude, I'm like still high on nitrous. You got fuck face-itis. Mikey Palmisi.

Fuck. That was you? It was me. And I was like, damn, like Big Cat treated me nice today because I thought you thought I was Kyle.

But I also talked to you. You talked to me about something entirely different. What did I talk to you about? Kent State jerseys. Kent State jerseys. Oh, yeah. Action. What did I talk to you about? What did you talk? You called me over. Yeah. I forget. You don't remember either? I said, can you like that?

You did say that. We gave a little half grin to each other. You beckoned me over by name. You're like, Nick. Fuck. Did you see Sass's post? I was like, yeah. I'm all fucked up right now. What's up, Jerry? Jerry's here.

Jersey. He forgets every time it's 1 o'clock. You got a clean cut? No, I did it myself. I know, your head. The scalp. No. No, he just says his line.

His line's just right. Hank's wearing jeans today. That's weird. That is weird. Jersey, your line is right. Let me see that shit. You look like one of them Armenian guys. Kind of, right?

No offense. One of those Armenian weirdos. So, yeah, it turns out someone DM'd us. They said they are running sections of L.A. Armenians already do stuff. The Armenian weirdos? Who DM'd you that? These are the ones in the dresses.

Wait, did y'all say Armenians don't run shit? Yeah. We didn't claim that. No, we never claimed that. Bro, they run shit. BMOC said, Armenian mob completely controls LA now. Very close with the Mexicans. Oh, that's the...

That was the source, yeah. Source, got it. He is Armenian. Did you see the white guy who got robbed? Who? The white kid on Twitter who got robbed who the white the white kid on twitter who got robbed

in LA the basketball player well he was in the I think he's like a basketball comedy star oh Max is nice Max is nice yeah yeah yeah

how do you know him how do you know him how do you know him I follow all basketball impressionists I follow B.A. I follow Famous Los

I follow Max is nice can we play the Max is nice clip all the guys that do the NBA impressions impressionists. I follow B.A.Dot. I follow Famous Los. I follow Max's Nice. Can we play the Max's Nice clip? All the guys that do the NBA impressions. B.A.Dot was the first one. I thought Max's Nice was the first one, but he's probably like the first one how Charlie D'Amelio was the first one to do the Renegade. B.Dot was the best one.

And then Max. Max actually isn't very good. Was he the guy that would dress up as a nerd and cross over dudes in the inner city? No, that's Professor. He wouldn't dress up as a nerd and cross over dudes in the inner city? No, no, that's Professor. That's Professor. He wouldn't dress up as the nerd. He would sometimes. Professor would sometimes. A lot of people would.

He would dress as Spider-Man sometimes, too. He would dress up as a lot of things. Professor goes back 20 years, though. Yeah. But he would do a James Harden impression. When you say basketball impressions, do you mean their voices or their basketball? No, he would do their jump shots, the way they play. You're not a hooper, bro.

I can tell you're not a real hooper. This guy doesn't look like he could do any type of basketball. Because he's very short and very white, yes. But he doesn't turn himself into a 6'8 black man. Yeah, he does that. What's Steven laughing about? I mean, this is a funny banter. Okay.

This is good shit, yeah. Can you be filling this blank blank is life ball okay so maybe who told you that who told you that i'm your favorite hooper who let you know real hoopers do not do not not know we had more courts per capita than any town in northern west virginia shocking no that's like courts of law. That's a different type of court. If you have to throw out a piece of paper, how do you do it? Ooh.

This prep sheet was for nothing. Throw that out. I'm doing white chocolate. Jason Williams. Yeah? You're going to shoot somebody? Something behind the bike. Oh. No, you have to say trash. Do it. Just shoot it anywhere. Let's see how you do it. Let me knock down that roll of tape. Oh. No, you have to say it. Where's the trash can? Do it. Just shoot it anywhere. And we'll see how you do it. Let me knock down that roll of tape.

Oh. No. Ew. No, you're not a hooper. No, not a hooper. That shit was dry. Oh, right. Little crock.

Ugh. Like that. Euro step on somebody out in the lobby if you're a real hooper. Oh, yeah. KP's a real hooper. Cross someone over. Euro step. Cross someone over.

The best part about a basketball court is wrestling mats from door to door i had a shirt that said that it's still true to this day what was that and one shirt and one wrestling shirt yeah he had a bunch of like sports balls on his like we need to make a like an and one brand but for wrestling we had them It was like balls. Bet your daddy never hugged you this hard. Wrestlers have them. No, it was never about hugging or squeezing.

What happened in the good days? What was the balls shirt? Yeah, the picture of a bunch of balls, sports balls, and it said ball, like others play with them.

Just a rolled up tube of toothpaste. It's like, imagine what I do to a man. Imagine how I do a man. Nah, brother, it wasn't like that. Yeah, bro, it was like that. Oh, it's always be like that.

Yo, bro. Squeezy ass boy. Hugs, not drugs. Okay, okay. We got the sports book in Iowa. You know what that is. Yeah. Don't change the subject. Don't change the subject. Wrestling is going to fun, you guys. I like the hugs, not drugs. You know what that is. Yeah. Don't change the subject.

Don't change the subject. Wrestling is going to fun, you guys. I like the hugs, not drugs. People bet on wrestling. They're going to bet on wrestling way more than any other sport, if done correctly, if you guys play your cards right. So we need to get in touch with K.L. Sanderson or something. What was his name?

K.L. something? Yeah, look at that. What is it, like over, under five in attendance? Is that what you bet on, the attendance at a wrestling event? No, fucking Carver Hawkeye sold out for the whole year. That's a fact. They're going to be packed house every duel meet, even when they fucking duel Wartburg College in an exhibition.

Can we zoom in right there? I just love Big Ev hiding behind Rick Jones. Did you make it? I didn't make it. Oh, you did. Oh, I made it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got in there.

Sometimes you don't make it, and then you pull a big hissy fit. I do. Big Ed's right there. You get very upset. Big Ed looks like the ghost in Three Men and a Baby. Rico, thank God Rico made it. Why'd they put him behind that leaf of corn? I don't know.

That leaf of the stalk. Is there someone behind Brandon? Somebody's back there. I can't tell who it is. Trent made it, because Iowa, of course. Where the fuck am I? Megan and course. Where the fuck am I? Megan and Kelly? Where the fuck is Ang?

Shouldn't the women be in the house? Get off the show. That's not funny. Get the fuck out of here. We're talking about Hoopers. That's not funny. Ray, it's time for dinner. That's a Field of Dreams reference.

Let's get back to Hoopers. Hoopers. Let's get back to N1 Wrestling Shirts. We should bring back the N1 Streetball Tour just with us. Yeah, I think the, what's it called? Or a basketball podcast should do that. Yeah. Yeah, or a sports website.

We should have plenty. What's for dinner? Cauliflower. Oh, if I miss this jump shot, I'll kill myself. I like that. That's good. But for wrestling, it's a suicide squeeze. Yeah.

You think you could squeeze yourself to death? I don't know what that means. A suicide squeeze? What? It was a baseball term, bro. You thought Chris Benoit was hardcore? That one maybe me look not too. That was a little rough.

Yeah, that was a little rough. Thank you, Jerry. Thank you, Jerry. That was a lot. That was a little rough. I'm still fucked up on nitrous. What are you going to do? How many times are you going to use that excuse?

Until it wears off. Until my mouth feels normal. Yeah, he has all day, I think. You got a root canal. Like a half face, yeah. You, Brandon, you would be dead right now i'm fine you can't deal with anything i can deal you if you had a root canal you would be dead my hamstring is flaring right now but i'm not standing up what's with the black jeans

yeah uh these are travis matthews boys i know i know these are travis honey do they not got blue I know. I know. These are Travis Matthews. Do they not got blue? Are you wearing them too? That's what I was looking at. I don't know. I've never worn black jeans. You were apprehensive about it yesterday. You said black jeans aren't me.

I know, but I can't pull this off. I feel comfortable. Why couldn't you pull them off? I think I'm pulling them off. What have people been saying about your outfit? People have said that it looks good. You actually said you look like a teenager. Yeah.

I feel good. I feel right. But that's a compliment because you usually dress like a 12-year-old. Graphic T with a shirtless man on. So now I'm aging up. That's right. This is good. All right.

Next thing you know, you'll be like an early finance bro Who wears his suit to the bar Right afterwards When he could have easily changed I can't wait Can't wait to be a frat boy Yeah you're going to be a frat boy Frat boy Tuck your butt in

Hamstring is flaring What do you mean flaring? Every time I Get a Theragun Every time I put the leg there, the hamstring cramps up. Go stomp it out. Have you hydrated? Have you had water? You know you want to stomp it out.

Oh, is it going right now? Yeah. Jerry, what are you thinking about? Jerry, what's going on there? It's the brain. It's the purple. Purple? Purple.

You're thinking about purple. You don't have purple shoes? No, I never had a pair of purple shoes. Yeah. You should get you a pair. You have a hundred pairs of shoes. Because you're not a clown. No purple. Nope. You have a 100 pairs of shoes. No purple.

You have 100 pairs of shoes? Probably more. That's like 200 total shoes. Don't get upset. I'm not being offensive. It's cheaper to buy. Is it? You buy them in bulk? No, it's cheaper to buy because it's 7.5.

It's less material. It is cheaper? 7.5. It's less material. Yeah. It is cheaper? Yeah. Damn. I wish I wasn't such a man. Like, if Yeezys came out and, like, okay, the resale on them, a size 8.5 is probably 5,600. A size 7.5, probably about 425.

Damn, you've hacked it. Is 7.5 still grade school? Are you able to shop off the kids' wall? Yeah, what's the kids? No, I think it's 6. 6 is the cutoff? 6 1⁄2, I think, is kids, I think. 6 is 6 1⁄2, one of those.

What about a big kid, though? I could fit in a 7. Yeah, I could fit comfortable in a 7. 6 1⁄2, I'd squeeze. Comfortable in a 7? Yeah. What about a women's? Let me feel those. Yeah, yeah. What about a women's? Let me feel those.

Yeah, yeah. What do you got there? Oh, wow. Wow. Take off your shoes. Let me see. Let's just see those little tipsies. Let me just see those little feet.

Let's just see them. See those things. Let's just see those bad boys. Oh, yeah. Those are nice. They're like, you know, like... An Asian woman. Yeah, right.

Where they bound their feet. That's kind of nice. Like the base of bound their feet. That's kind of nice. Like the base of a stilt. That's nice, Jerry. You could stick them in anything. It's got sturdy feet. It's like the hoof of a deer. You could put them in a person's pocket.

Carry your feet around. You could stand up in someone's pockets. You know what they say about small feet, right? What? Small socks. That's true. That's profound. Look at those.

Look at those little things. Wait, squeeze the tip again now that they have a better angle. They didn't have the angle because of the box earlier. Yeah. Maybe even a six and a half. Yeah, I think there's a lot of room there. Jerry. Stop there Jerry Stop it Stop it

Jerry Seven and a half Stop Six and a half probably Six and a half baby Six Six is tight Children

Hey We gotta figure out What we're gonna do tomorrow Only one of us Is here Jerry During the Glennie

And Glennie Brandon, Jerry Why'd you say No I I don't the. Glennie. And Glennie. Brandon, Jerry, and Glennie. Why'd you say. No, I don't know that Glennie's going to be here. He travels a lot too. I already talked to Glennie. Brandon, Glennie, Jerry. Jerry.

Oh, damn it. It's due 45 days. Why, god damn it. Why, why? What's wrong with that? What's your problem? Everything's fine. It's Brandon.

It's Brandon. Want me to host? Yeah, I want. Yes. You host the It's Brandon. Want me to host? Yes, you host the act tomorrow. You want Jerry to host? I can't read that good, though. You don't have to read it all to host the show. No, we just crumple it up and we throw it. That's what we mostly do with these physical comedy type of shit.

Oh, Frank, fishing pole. Did you get him in? I got in. How'd you him in? I got in. How'd you get in? I climbed in. Frank, text Jerry. It's a subterranean apartment. Can you climb down?

So I knew where he lived in little garden apartments, and I knew he's on the last level. Yeah. So I'm pretty much, when he texts me, hey, do you have a fishing pole? I'm like, he's locked down. I'm like, I don't think a fishing pole would work because you can't do that. Right. You can't toss. Yeah.

So he's like, I called him. I said, hey, I'll just I'll just come over now. He's like, I was like, do you think I climb in? He's like, yeah. So when I pull up, I pull up and he has what do you call those things That you get the snow off with Scraper Like a scraper Yeah

He has a scraper Like a six foot one And he's just holding it in the air Just screaming I'm like oh god He was screaming Just on his own Despite

Not even regarding you I pulled up to the screaming He pulled up He was mid screen Okay Imagine if you're his neighbor And there's just a dude With a long-ass

grape for outside screaming. And then I just go, I say, Frank, what do you need the fishing pole for? And he's like, oh, to get that. I'm like, yeah, but you can't do that. And you can't even put it in because it's 30 feet away, the keys. So I had to climb. Motherfuckers catch keys with poles? Oh, so you just climbed in the window.

Yeah. Oh, that's easy. Yeah, it wasn't bad. It wasn't. The hardest part was the blinds. Yeah. Blind folk? Yeah, they're coming out.

What's that screaming? Hello? Here come the blinds. You use the fishing pole and smash them back. Yeah. Anything for Frank, man. He's a good friend. How far away does he live from you?

Close. Eight minutes, ten minutes. Oh, nice. Walking? No. Driving. Anything for Frank, man He's a good friend How far away does he live from you? Close Eight minutes, ten minutes Oh, nice Walking? No, driving Yeah He's on the other side of town But now he moved

And he's my next door neighbor now Which is awesome But you're about to move I'm looking at houses, yeah Just a bad time right now Is it? Economically How so?

Oh, the market's like on fire, right? Yeah, it's starting to cool off a little bit, though. You've got to come in like $30,000, $50,000, $100,000 over. Or put down 20%. These fucking days. You're going to put down 20%? Put down 20%. It's tough.

And write the letter, too. You've got to write the letter and be like, this is going to be my forever home. Even if it's not, you saved it. Damn, bro. Are you about to buy a house? No, but I was out with some friends last night, and that's all, you saved it. Damn, bro. Are you about to buy a house? I was out with some friends last night, and that's all they were talking about. Really? You go to Luger.

You did go to Luger. Yeah. You could spot that steak from a million miles away. It's the only place that does that. Yeah, with a firefighter and a cop and another dude. Luger's, I love how they do that. What does the other guy do? Why does he get named by profession?

Because he doesn't have a profession that rings. Was he an Indian chieftain? Were you out with the village people? A firefighter, a cop, and a Jew walk into Lugers. Right, that's the kind of thing that I'm trying to cultivate. Oh, cultivate. But he wasn't a Jew. I'm fascinated by your uninteresting friend.

I know How tall is he? 20 questions Average height Brown hair, brown eyes Sounds like me He's KB He'd cast a shadow over you

I'll be dipped in shit Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's you. He's KB. No, he'd cast a shadow over you. So he's dipped in shit. He would fully eclipse you. Did you like Luger's? Fantastic. Yeah. The bacon. My shit was green this morning from the spinach. Gorge.

The cream spinach. Did you gorge? Oh, my God. It was incredible. He's fantastic. You didn't have to jam a wood shipper. I had the Malbec. Yeah? Oh, my God. It was incredible. It was fantastic. You didn't have to jam a wood shipper. I had the Malbec. Yeah?

Oh, my God. That sounds wonderful. I also ordered an Old Fashioned as my pre-Gener drink, and I was told that Old Fashioneds are a bitch drink because back in the day, they were for the women folk who couldn't handle whiskey straight. What?

I thought they were masculine, too. I thought that was a man's drink I thought there was a man drink. That's a man drink. Mustachioed men. Also, I love when it's like a women's drink. It's like, yeah, they taste better. Yeah. Yeah.

Whenever I try to drink an old fashioned, I think this is way too tough for me. I can't do this. We've actually progressed nicely as a society that people can now comfortably drink spritzers and seltzers. I'll say it. I much prefer the women drinks. It's the straightest thing you can do. Girlies come up and have sips from my glass all night.

Of your old fashion. It's bullshit that women get good tasting drinks. But what's a masculine cocktail? Just whiskey straight. That's it. Or a martini. Shout out tequila in your eyeball. Yeah. No, Jameson, I would say.

Shout out Jameson. That's manly. That's manly. Just whiskey. The fact that women get flowers too. What's a manly mixture?

Mixer? Men don't mix. Men don't mix? Not even ice. Men don't mix. Neat. That's how a man drinks it.

We have a show tomorrow night. We have two shows tomorrow night and we two shows tomorrow night And we don't know what we're gonna say Do you guys have any suggestions? Will Sass have to cancel? Yeah, is he gonna make it?

We said that Devlin's gonna take his place if he can't Yeah He's the villain Sass is on notice Devlin will just take over for him Hank just wearing jeans What the fuck? Get in, come on in, Hank

Come in, Hank Go in there Go in Hank Go in there Go in there Go in there go in What is he doing It's cause the sweatpants Almost killed him Sweatpants almost killed him

Yeah He threw his You threw your back out With sweatpants Whoa We're just noticing That you're wearing jeans today Okay

You never wear jeans You don't wear jeans You don't wear jeans No You don't wear jeans. No, well, yeah, I had a tough time with sweatpants this past weekend. I'm not fucking dealing with my sweatpants. What do you want me to do? What was your tough time with sweatpants? I tried to put them on.

They almost killed me. Sweatpants almost killed me. See? I was verbatim right. Sweatpants almost killed him. Yeah. Would you wear sweatpants if one almost took you out two days ago? Yeah, but what did sweatpants do?

The jeans were out his back. Did your toe get stuck in the string? Yeah, what are you talking about? They were slightly inside out, so I had to jump up and down to put them on. You did that then. You could have just turned them inside out. No, he didn't know. He didn't know.

It's not like you just completely changed the way you put on sweatpants forever in case your back might get thrown out someday. He didn't even have his back getting thrown out on his mind. I think your beard's coming in thick. It runs in my head. Everything I'm thinking runs in my head. Also, if you throw your back, you're standing very well for a't even have his back thrown out on his mind. I think your beard's coming in thick. Rome's in my head. Everything I'm thinking Also, if you throw your back you're standing very well

for a man that threw his back out. Well, that's what I can stand. It's just when I go to sit down stand up. You've thrown your back out on a man. It sucks. Brandon's a bitch.

Don't take anything from him. He said the same thing. He had to go home the other day because the air made him sick. I was sick. And you got sad sick. I was sick. And now we're in jeopardy of having Devlin do

all of his bits. I didn't get you sick. Dave got me sick. Dave got everybody sick. I was with you on the college football show. And then I got him sick. Oh no. What? Oh no.

He might die at any moment, folks. There could be a pair of sweatpants anywhere. We're addicted to death watches, though. Don't take it personal, Hank. Okay, Hank, that's all I got. How is your back? Get the epidural. It's good.

Shout out to the Lowering the Bar Chiropractor. There we go. No free ads. Oh, you went to a quack? Good looks. Yeah, dude, chiropractors are fake, but this guy helped me a lot, so. Boom. I respect them.

Shout out. I respect chiropractors. I don't know. That guy went to WVU, and we don't have a chiropractic program. Just saying. And he was also wearing shoes that I wanted for Christmas five years ago.

You can't be wearing a five-year-old pair of Vans chiropractic, dude. You can't fucking do that shit, bro. It's going to look shaky for your career and your reputation. You have to present yourself as a successful figure if you're going to be chiropractic. Plus, if you're a back doctor, your patient is going to be looking at your shoes a lot. Yes. You have to wear something cool or, like, at least have a Dr. Scholl's gelling type of thing showing that you care about your back in your footwear.

They just don't have that good support. Well, chiropractors are, they are like the new school. They're like turning into influencers online. A lot of them are big YouTube stars. Yeah. Instagram. Massaging a girl's butt. They're always, every thumbnail is like a soft core porn.

They have a thumb in someone's ass. That's, yeah, a literal thumbnail. That's what that thumbnail is. Just snapping their spine. Yeah, so much. Speaking of, Owen, you're live. You're good. I'm fine. I chipped my tooth, though. You did it.

Eating a peanut? No allergic reaction. That's how the allergy manifests itself? You've got some soft teeth, bro. Where's your enamel at? Let's get some milk in this boy. Once you lose enamel, you can't get it back, right? It's like brain cells.

I think you can surgically move enamel around from different parts of your body. From my pubes. Enamel transport. I got the enamel from my dick. Brazilian enamel lift. I heard that the most expensive... I'll let you guys guess this because it's pertinent to the show. You've got to give us more info.

I like guessing. Because that could be anything right now. The most expensive substance on Earth. Oh, yeah. I know what it is. Saffron. No, I think it's whale vomit. No, no.

Substance. Substance. Is it edible? I mean, everything's edible. That was a dumb question. I feel like you know what I meant. Is it intended Is it edible? I mean, everything's edible. That was a dumb question. I feel like you know what I meant. Is it intended to be edible? No. Okay.

Is it myrrh? No, it's frankincense. Frankincense? No, no, no. That's not it. That's not it. I can't even hazard a guess. Hazard one.

Hazard one. Hazard one. Is it a liquid? Let's go around the room Is it printer ink? Mercury No and no Mercury's a good one

It felt good right? It did sound good What's it's rate? It's like a trillion dollars For like a pound Oil For a pound? I texted someone

To get the exact rate But it's like a trillion dollars For something Does it come from an animal Or a creature? I don't know where it comes from. Who did you text to get this information? The person who told it to me.

God damn. The firefighter. I learned this last night at Peter Luger's Steakhouse, which, Jerry, was fantastic. I don't think it was. I like Peter Luger's, not Ruth Chris, though. Ruth Chris is a great author. Me neither. Even though I did take sass on a steak birthday.

What a fugazi. Fugazi. What's the thing? What is it? What's the off-brand Mountain Dew? Surge. It's Surge. Good guess, but it's not Surge.

It's something we've talked about on this show recently. Fuck. As recently as yesterday. Oh, I know. Jew blood. You're correct, my friend. Yeah. 0.2% of the population. Coagulated Jew blood. You're correct, my friend. 0.2% of the population. Coagulated Jew blood.

What is it? Baby's blood. Drew blood. Peter Thiel. You know... Never mind. Oh, shit. No, never mind.

Hazard one. Hazard one. Hazard a cancelable joke? Nah, I would rather not. It's $1.5 billion a gram at the lowest estimates. It's a truffle? No. Is it?

We talked about it yesterday. Are people guessing in the chat? Yeah, what are the chat boys saying? I mean, they can just Google it. Let's chat. Yeah, chat. They're cheaters. The chat doesn't even

know what it is and I've never fucking heard of online dating. They're chatting with each other. Chat said Nick's friend's nut. His name is Pat. His name is Pat. Was.

It's Botox. What? Yes. I think there's that whale vomit that's really expensive. Why? Because it's used in every single scent. Like cologne and perfume. How do you harvest it?

You have to find it floating. So what is antimatter? Is that what that is? Antimatter is like a... That's what the internet is saying is the most expensive. Well, that's not actually a thing, right? You can't hold that. It's by far the most expensive material on Earth.

62.5 trillion per gram. But that's like the lack of something. What is antimatter? I don't know. No, that doesn't count. Antimatter doesn't, yeah. It's not even matter. It's not matter. It's intangible. It doesn't matter. It's an abstract concept. You can't touch antimatter.

Yes. Mold. That can't touch it. It's an NFT matter. Yes. Mold. That doesn't count either. Even though one... I'm giving too many facts. Your Botox doesn't even seem to be top three. It'll be top five. California? What are you doing?

No way. I haven't been swindled. What the fuck would you ever want with that? You guys going to firefighter or liar? Yeah. Red diamonds? That one, yeah. Paint? Wow. Yep, that Red diamonds? That one, yeah. Paint?

Well. Yep, that's paint. Holy shit, paint. Paint. Sherwin-Williams. Diamond. Rowan, where's your Botox? This fucking dumbass Yahoo.

These are just, this is the most expensive minerals. This listicle doesn't know what the fuck it's talking about. These are all minerals. Maybe your firefighter doesn't know what he's talking about. Why are you taking this listicle side over a firefighter? Why are you taking the firefighter? NYPD, you scumbag. Botox, second L, that's serendipity.

FDNY, you scumbag. They're on strike right now. Yeah. 36 of them. 36 of them? By the way, did you guys... Also, they're going to close like 23 firehouses. That doesn't sound right.

What was that? 23 firehouses were going to get closed. It was on the front page of the New York Post the other day. You boys don't read the newspaper. Newspaper week? Do we need to do another one just to get new motherfuckers culture? No, we created a pandemic last time. We literally found out about COVID through newspaper week.

Imagine what we could find out this time. Then we did plague week right after. What if we had never read about... Probably better. Yeah, if we just had read about... We would... Probably better. Yeah, if we just had lived in... It's like being diagnosed with cancer. It's my diagnose theory. If we never read about COVID, it would never have affected us.

You're only sick once you're diagnosed. Should we do Book Week? Did you guys see the Scotty Pippin? Can you pull up, TJ? I'll text it to you. One of the funniest excerpts that just was so unnecessary. Scottie Pippen released an excerpt about his book today, basically shitting on everyone.

And he just put in a part about how John Paxson cried to him on the phone. Like for no reason. Just threw it in. It was so awesome. It was so cold-blooded. Could you imagine a man crying to you on the phone? He's talking shit on everyone. Actually, yeah.

No, I can't. Yeah, just like starting to bawl. Not over the phone. Only in person, you mean? No, man. It would be brutal. I got a shoulder for you. I tweeted it.

Bro, I have cried with friends, or I had them cry to me. It's okay to not be okay. It's uncomfortable. I've never cried to a friend, though. But I also would hate to be in a book being like, I'm the phone crier. Yeah, it's terrible. Stifle that shit down. I'm a shower crier.

Yeah, that's good. Yes. Look at this. Look at this excerpt. John, I said, that is all fine and dandy, but you worked out in the front office for the Bulls for almost 20 years. You had a chance to change that, and you didn't. He began to cry. Not knowing how to respond, I waited for him to stop.

Why he was crying, I couldn't be sure. And honestly, I didn't care. Scottie Pippen did not write that song. That's so mean. He's trying to be Michael Jordan. That's some shit he would do. Yes, yes. Who authored that book with Scottie Pippen?

I have the book in my bag. Tucker Max. That's actually his company. He writes a book for you. Really? It's called A Book in a Box. Wait, can we get a Yak book

by Tucker Max? That would be sick. I think he has a team that does it perfectly fine with that. It won't be Max-esque. I mean, yeah, he's hand-picking these guys.

They probably know how to write in style. Yeah. You guys see yeah, he's hand-picking these guys. They probably know how to write in style. You guys see Nate? He's about to win the World Series. Oh, and he's got a new look, too. Yeah. You're like a senior picture. How do you want it? From Jason Mraz to Chris Daughtry.

It is. You have a new look, Nate. You got a new look. He's just... What's happening? Oh, boy. You got a new look. He's just... What's happening? Oh, boy. Just go with the flow. Why did he do that?

He made it weird. Why did he do that? Where is he? He left. To be fair, this was a huge deal. What was? You guys calling him out? What was?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You like poker? Yeah. Why aren't you going to the World Series? Yeah. I stopped liking it. Really? Yeah. You like poker? Yeah. Why aren't you going to the World Series? Yeah. I stopped liking it. Really?

Yeah. You just stopped? What's the correlation? You had just gotten on the show. I don't know. Just fell out of love with the sport. Are you still playing the underground cellars with Taiwanese men? I don't really have time.

Yeah. Or money. Right. Chicken Fry moved into a new apartment. Why don't really have time. Or money. Chicken Fry moved into a new apartment. Why don't you have money? It is modest. It's only a two fireplace. She posts about it?

Yeah. There was a point in the night last night. You're not on TikTok. I was about to reach REM sleep. And then I was up for three more hours. I was about to reach a deep, and then I was up for three more hours after that. I was about to reach a deep slumber, then I saw that. There was a point in the night I thought she was moving into Frank the Tank's place. Because she tweeted that the person who was moving out left their keys, and she had to wait for them.

That would be so funny. Should we put up the NYC apartment tour on there? Oh, and Broke Watch? Oh and broke watch Oh no Oh and broke watch Oh no To whom can I text this video? Oh here we go Okay first I need to shout out

Roadway Movers Who absolutely saved my God damn fucking life I hate moving That's a big truck It's a lot of adjectives too Okay it's apartment tour time baby I'm doing a voiceover

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing I never do this anyways I have two closets Right off the bat when you walk in i don't know if you guys remember my old apartment i had one closet i couldn't even fit my hand in it oh my god she's so spectacular oh my god i have a fireplace that works like that's cool oh my god she's giving my ceilings look at my window i mean High ceiling. My ceilings are 20 feet tall. I mean, come fucking on. I'm jizzing my jeans right now. What? Okay, this is my closet.

Walk-in closet with a dressing room. Are you kidding me? She's over jeans. You know how many clothes she has. This is like, I could cry. I did cry, actually, when I walked in my apartment because it was the second time I've ever seen it. Look at all this shit.

Look at all this shit. All my clothes are going to be so happy. Wait, she's in the fridge. Sorry, it's a mess. I literally moved in today. Sweet, what is this? It's a. All my clothes are going to be so happy. Wait, she's in the fridge. Sorry, it's a mess. I literally moved in today. Sweet, what is this? It's a bedroom. I'm probably going to be completely moved in for like three months because I travel so much.

But whatever. It's fun. It's fine. It's fresh. It's new. I have no furniture. I found that chair that you just saw on the side of the road today, and it doesn't work. I have another walk-in closet.

Are you fucking kidding me? Another fireplace. Are you fucking kidding me? Look at all that shelving. I'm going to buy books just to put them in there. This is basically my son's bedroom. I don them in there. I don't even read. I don't even read. Look at this. That's special.

Kitchen. Okay. Hate. But we can DIY this shit. I do love the blue countertops. I know people probably won't. I have a dishwasher. The smartest dishwasher ever. I do have a dishwasher. This fridge is from the 70s. I want to throw up on it. I hate it so fucking much. I'm going to buy a new fridge though because I'm bawling like that. I'm going to put a coffee stand over here.

I don't even drink coffee. Would you like to live in a place like this, Owen? What if I told? Does that sound nice? The top comment was like, she's got barstool money now. And then somebody replied to it ratioing it. Saying what? I forget what they said.

No, you don't. I don't forget what they said. It was something about saying only she is. I feel like a Mumbaian street cleaner in the Indian cast. You guys should do one for your apartment. It would be a still photo. Damn.

He's numb. That's a nice apartment It is, it's nice It's aight Where is it? What location? Under the Red Steps in Times Square Nice

Good spot Owen Owen So I'm glad that You don't have any money Yeah But Other people are doing well

So yeah We got you a tent Fuck yes Dude there were some tents in Denver When we went there You don't have any money. Yeah. But other people are doing well. Yeah. You got you a tent. Fuck yes. Dude, there were some tents in Denver when we went there. Did you notice those? There were some tents that were like really nice apartments. DC has that too.

Well, yeah, but they like. LA too. They had like set it up where it was. It's nice. It looked pretty nice. Yes. There was a guy on. Denver doesn't have poverty. 23rd by the They do

Oh yeah They have it bad Well there was a lot of tents Almost there Bro You're racist Okay but they have The homeless

Do they have Just like regular Yeah You're bigoted Yeah You're cancelled Sorry to hear that Whoopsies

All of our mountain listeners KB's cancelled Sorry about him Sorry about my friend The tents were so nice though That I guarantee you At least one of those people Who's living in that tent All of our mountain listeners, KB's canceled. Sorry about him. Sorry about my friend. The tents were so nice, though, that I guarantee you at least one of those people who's living in that tent is watching this right now. Wow. Guaranteed.

And they're like, what the fuck, KB? When you say a nice tent, are you referring to size? Size and, like, setup. And accessories. Okay. Do they have a lawn? Do they have a lawn with, like, rose plants outside? A little setup. But yes.

Hey, Frank. Hey. Hey, Frank. Frank and Doug. Hey, Frank. I saw a homeless guy with a mattress, bed stand, and just a wife in bed with him. Love it. Good for him.

A lot of those. So there's a lot of people that are well off that panhandle and make money on the side. Yeah. It's just fake. So you think they're making a lot of money? He said it's fake? Are they going with the effort of getting a mattress, though, for that? You'll look on YouTube.

They cracked this one lady. She was a CEO doing it. What? No, she was not. Oh, you were watching Undercover Boss. That's not a real thing, Jerry. You were watching Undercover Boss. No.

Yes. A CEO was panhandling, was grifting. Yes. You had a Mercedes? Where did you see this? She got in. I think she actually. Who said Mercedes?

I did. I think she got into a Mercedes. Yes. Wouldn't that be a drop in a bucket compared to a CEO salary? I don't know. Where did you guys see this? What's the upside for a CEO to do this? I've seen it on YouTube.

Is it like a hobby for her? Is she a Richie incognito? I don't know. This is a true story. Holy fuck. I'm going to try to find her. Okay, try to find her for us. Because I also...

Well, that's a universal problem. Even the ones in Wheeling, West Virginia were proven to be fake. But they were just like, what the fuck? He's not homeless. He has a car. What does that mean? Maybe, like... That was the only counterpoint. That has a car. What does that mean? Maybe that was the only counterpoint.

We can't talk about the homeless folk without sass here, though. He's going to be fucking pissed. Oh, yeah. Kill them all. We're stealing his bit. That's sass's bit. Brandon, do the Roman ad. I did the Roman ad yesterday. Do it again. Stop. Stop.

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Yak. Brandon, let's see that big, juicy dick of yours. Did your game get a river move? Because it sucks dick. That's pretty good. Did you ever have one of those shirts, Ron? I had one of those shirts. That's pretty good. Did you ever have one of those shirts, Ron? I had one of those shirts.

No, my parents wouldn't let me have any. What kind of being was the N1 guy? He's just a... He's just a... A yoke dude, man. A mannequin?

He can shoot balls. He looks like Pepsi Man. Yeah, he does. The video game? Yeah. Yeah. I got that for you, TJ. That's a video game? Pepsi Man. Yeah, he just ran The video game? Yeah. Yeah. I got that for you, TJ. That's a video game?

Pepsi Man. Yeah, he just ran. Pepsi Man? Yes. Is it sponsored by Pepsi? Yes. The whole thing was a Pepsi. It's kind of like Valorant.

It's like a... Oh, the 7-Up Spot had a video game. Roan knows Valorant? What the fuck? I bet you Roan's nasty on the sticks. TJ, tell him. TJ. Tell his ass, TJ. Tell his ass, TJ.

Valorant. Yeah. Uh-huh. You said it. You heard it from him first. I think Domino's had a video game. Back in the day? Was it about the Noid?

Yeah, it was Noid. Remember Paperboy, the video game? That game ruled. Should we play some Paperboy? That game was actually terrible. That's an awful game. That game was actually terrible. And people remember it well, but it's just boring. It was the same thing the whole time. We delivered the papers. We loved that. It wasn't a awful game. That game's actually terrible. People remember it well, but it's just boring.

It was the same thing the whole time. We loved that. It wasn't a good game. We had a blast. We loved that. We loved her. We loved her. Paperboy.

Let's play some Paperboy. Who is she? How are we going to play Paperboy? We can do it. Yeah, we'll just tell him what to do. And if he fucks up, it's his fault. What are we going to say? Throw the paper?

Yes. We'll crowdsource Paperboy. That's all to do. And if he fucks up, it's his fault. What are we going to say? Throw the paper? Yes. We'll crowdsource paper, boy. That's all you do. You just... That actually sounds... Now. Now. That would probably work just as efficiently as playing the game.

Okay, throw it now. There were many games back then that were just overrated. Oh, here we go. Perfect. Yes. Who wants to play first? You. Now.

What the... You broke a window, TJ. What are you doing? He's learning the controls. He's fucking modding. Let's go mod the controls. Figure out what works best for your finger pattern. I hate playing on a PC.

Looks like Owen's still broke. That's a big house. You broke a window again. Looks like Owen's still broke. What if I just throw up? All right. Oh, that's a mansion. That's a big house. Oh, you broke a window again. That's Chicken Fry's apartment. All right. Ready?

Now. Oh, you bitch. Now. Oh, that was a good one. You threw it in the garage. I'm not doing anything. And you fell off your bike, TJ. Wait, so throwing is...

This is so bad. Amazing Paperboy delivers. Why would that bad. Amazing paper boy delivers. Why would that be in the paper? Yeah, and how did he do that? They don't report on their own paper boy. He controls the media. I don't know. He's.

No. What are we doing? Now. My hands are literally off the keyboard. Okay, here we go. Ready, set. Yeah, he bikes automatically. It's the nature of the paper.

Now. Let me find a better one. Oh, yes. That was a great one. All right. Is that one for sale? That one's just for sale. All right, ready?

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, shit. Oh! Dope, dope. How do you expect to avoid that? You just got fucking smoked. What other game do you guys want to play where we can just shout the controls? Frogger?

Frogger? Yeah, Frogger. Dick Dug. All right, pull Frogger. Frogger's a good one. Remember Lemmings? Yeah. Like Sidebike, maybe? Qbert. Qbertger's a good line. Remember Lemmings? Yeah. Like Sidebike, maybe?

Qbert. Qbert would be a good one. You guys are thinking of arcade games. What about like old school computer games? Flash games. Mavis Beacon? Yeah. Scorchster.

All right, here we go. Flash games don't exist anymore. Jersey Jerry, you play now. You just say now. Left, right, up. All right. Go. Now.

He's not listening. All right, up. Up. Right. Right. Right. Oh. He's not listening Up Right Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up

Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up You gotta get in the hole You gotta get in the fucking God damn it Have you never seen A lily pad before? Alright Jesus

Alright here we go Alright one voice per game We'll go in a row We'll go in a row So we'll start with Jerry And we'll go But you have to listen to us So I just have to say up

Or left or right Up left or right Any direction really Yeah Okay hold on We need the mic Hold on stay still Not yet Yeah yeah Take your time Just. Hold on. Stay still.

Not yet. Sweet. Hold on a second. Up, up. Two ups. Stay there. Don't tell him no. Up, up. All the way.

All the way. All the way. Yep, yep. Stay right there. Up. All those turtles. Up. Oh.

Up, I said. Up. I'm going to fucking listen. Stay up. All right. Yay. Up, I said. Up. I'm going to fucking listen. Stay up. All right. Hey. Good job, Jerry. 21 seconds.

Good job, Jerry. Jerry, you're pretty good at this game. I never played. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up.

Up. Up. Three ups. Oh, God. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up.

Up. Oh, he's good. He's good. He's nasty. That wasn't a good score. All right. Here we go. Roan.

Up. That's a blue frog. Up. Uh-oh. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up.

Up. Up. Back, back, back. Up. Oh. Up. Oh, God. You dick.

You dickhead. Stupid dick. Here we go. Look, I only have those two lily pads. They got the yips. The logs are getting faster. All right. I only have those two lily pads. They got the yips. The logs are getting faster. All right. I only have those two lily pads.

They had unlimited. All right. Give me a sec here. Waiting for it. All right. I gotta wait for it. That's the key. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

All right, speed run. Up, up. He's gonna fuck it up. He's gonna fuck it up. Up, up, up. Yeah! How's that time 28, though? That didn up, up. Yes! How's that time 28, though? That didn't make sense.

Yeah, how is yours? Is that 21, Jerry? Don't they count down? No, that doesn't make sense. Oh, are they counting down? How are you so perplexed? Oh, then I'm winning. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

He said 25 ups. Oh, up. TJ was playing for you. Brandon has died 10 times. Why didn't you do it? Why didn't you listen to me? You suck at this game, Brandon. You suck.

You suck so bad at this game. He didn't listen to me. He was helping you. TJ, go ahead and just get to the river for me. You suck, Brandon. Thank you, TJ. Uh-huh. All right.

So far, so good. Up. All right. So far, so good. Up. And up. What the fuck? He listened to you. Nick, you suck at this game. You're so bad. I fucking win.

You're so bad at this game, Nick. You're so bad. I'm not bad. It was just... My finger slipped. You gave me the shitty controller. I didn't listen. Fuck, TJ being my shitty my shitty Oh am I going up

Up I don't know Just go TJ I don't know Did you say up or bup Bup Down Bonus frog

Bonus frog What the fuck that frog Primo Up Up Up Up No

Unless you TJ's doing it on his own TJ went Autonomous on that TJ Gamer instincts right Up, up, up. No. Unless you help that. TJ went autonomous on that. TJ, what the fuck? TJ. Gamer instincts, right? It's GI. It's GI tract.

All right, fuck frog. Let's do like a huddle or something, like a dog pile. Right now? I'm not trying to squeeze, bro. I'm not trying to fucking sneak me into a squeeze. I'll do that. I'll dog pile right now. You want me to get on the bottom?

Yeah, I'll get on the bottom. I can handle being on the bottom. All want to do a dog pile? Yeah, I'll get on the bottom. I can handle being on the bottom. All right, be on the bottom of the pile. What type of babble shit are you on, bro? You want to get on the bottom? All right. Let's get you. I'm just throwing out suggestions.

We don't have to do a dog pile. No, let's get on the bottom. Let's do a little dog pile. I'll do it. All right. I love a dog pile. Don't we have to feign happiness? No, lay right there.

Lay right there. Let's go. But you have to call it out, Kyle. No, you just want a chance to fart and have plausible deniability. You want to fart on our dicks. You want to fart right on our dicks. I'm not going to fart on any dick. Yes, you are.

Hand to God, I will not fart on any dick. Your hand is not. I'll dogpile you if you don't fart on my dick. Fart on our dicks. Stop, dude. All right, here we go. All right, it won't be a joyous dog. No, no, let's just say.

Are you farting on my dick? Our team won. We all went 0 for 4. All right, let's go. All right, it won't be a joyous dog. No, no, let's just say it. Are you farting on my dick? Our team won. We all went 0 for 4. All right, let's slowly dogpile. You lay down and call out who needs to hop on. I don't know. What about a pyramid? What if we did a pyramid?

No, it's like 2 and 2 and 2 and 2. We could do a pyramid. Do we need to move the block? All right, here we go. Go. Call it out. What do you mean call it out? You can't just lie down.

You have to say dogpile. Dogpile. No, dogpiles aren't orchestrated. They happen all at once. No, you mean call it out? You can't just lie down. You have to say dog pile. Dog pile. No, dog piles aren't orchestrated. They happen all at once. No, you yell dog pile. All right, here's what we'll do. I don't want to get on bottom. Let's do a dog pile draft.

It's the order. Sometime after, like, let's say 157. No, Brandon, no. Okay, after 157, Kyle, you just spontaneously jump on the ground, and we'll all dog pile, and that's how we'll end the show. Okay, don't jump. No jumping on. I think you need to.

That's part of the dog. You just unplug the box. Can you YouTube best dogpile ever? Yeah, ever. Ever. All right, so we'll end today's show with a dogpile, but it's got to be spontaneous. The best dogpile ever has to to have 5 million views, right?

I want to see the best one. Would this be like a pile of shit? Or the biggest? I would like to see the biggest. No, because we have to emulate the best. Go to the compilation. Not the one from two years ago. Let's do the most recent college baseball. What do you think? It changed over time.

Yeah, let's do the most recent college baseball. Go back up. Biggest dog pile ever? World record dog pile? Yeah. Huh? Yeah, that's... Wait a minute.

Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Whoa, shit. This can't be the best biggest one ever. They're hardly a pile. They're a pile. Wait, so we have to break this record. We have to break the dog pile.

Let's get some poison. I think the only thing we have to do to break the record is just say biggest dog pile ever, new world record. How many boys were that? So we'll cut this up. This needs to be a separate YouTube video. It says biggest dog pile ever, new world record. Must watch. And we all have to say, oh, this is the biggest talk pile ever.

And I think we have to come from outside and run in. Yeah. No, it's just you jump out and then spontaneous. What if one of us farts or gets horny?

Yeah, what if... Yeah, what if an erection happens? Let's get this out of the way. It's never happened. I'm thinking an erection happens. If an erection happens,

we have to jerk it off. I want to see an actual clean one. If you feel the erection, you have to jerk it off. Yes want to see an actual clean one. If you feel the erection, you have to jerk it off. Yes, whoever feels it jerks it. I think it nullifies it. It's not clean. If you get a boner, it kind of ruins the dog pile.

It turns it into an orgy. I think that's the cleanest version of a dog pile. No, that's an orgy. An orgy. It takes one boner to turn a regular dog pile. Oh, shit. That's a good one. I don't use the one from the World Series a couple years ago.

I use the most recent one. This is bigger. Oh, that's a big tall one. Oh, yeah. Those beavers. Oh! See, that's what I want. You want a beaver.

Yeah. I want that style. I want to be right in the middle. And this guy in the bottom. Oh! How does it not kill? That was to make it. I don't know.

People have died. We don't have the manpower for picking up dogpiles. Yeah, Liverpool, right? Liverpool, that guy died. In a dogpile? Brandon, we work in an office with 250 people. Let's get some men. All right, let's go recruit.

Many men. I'll go get some men if y'all want men. Many, many, many, many men. I'll put them in the lobby, and when we need them for the dogpile, they'll just come in. Do we have a mat we can put down? There's wires. That pile of wires. That'll be good.

Actually, there's a box cutter lying underneath of that. Opened. Jesus Christ. Yeah, there's just a box cutter in that pile of wires. It was open. I was so close to doing it spontaneously. I of wires. It was open. I was so close to doing it spontaneously.

I would have cut my stomach open. Yeah, and then everybody would have just kept jumping on you. You would have been stabbed like 48 times. Are we...

Would we have been liable for that? I don't think so. No, it was his idea. I don't know, dude. He was asking for it. That shit don't sound good, bro. I don't fucking know.

What do y'all want to do? Y'all want men? We probably do need men. I have a big phobia of dog piles. Do you really? Yeah. I might have to recuse myself. No, you should be the last on.

I can't jump that high. I'm picturing something real high. Yeah. I kind of want to be the last. No. I have the best vertical. Kyle. I. I kind of want to be the last. No. I have the best vertical. Kyle. I think you could be the first and the last.

Oh, Brian doesn't have a lock on his screen. Oh, yeah. Order food, please. Order food. Order something. Order like a big ass. A big ass. A Bronzino.

A Bronzino. Yeah, get him some fish. Get him some stinky fish. Fuck. I don't know where his seamless is. Get him a big ass fish. He won't even know where his Seamless is. Get him a big-ass fish. He won't even know. Funny as hell.

I'll distract him. Uber. Where the hell is it? He don't have Seamless. Open table. Make him a reservation. Find it. He's coming.

Hold on. Put your phone on his desk. Order everything. Put your phone on his desk. Go, go. Put your phone on his desk. It'll be locked. Put your phone on and keep on ordering with his.

You're an idiot. You're a fucking idiot. Kyle, this is a ploy to be on. Keep him away. It's wrong. Keep it. Oh, no. It's happening, boys.

Kyle's starting. It's happening, boys. The pile's starting. It's happening, boys. Anybody got to say how much I dominated him just now? You did. You did kind of dominate him. Billy, would you? Oh! Stop!

Oh, jeez. You look like Carson Wentz on the go. Yeah, he did. He did. He did. Have you boys ever been in a dog pile before? Have you boys ever won a College World Series, been in a dog pile? Chuck has probably done something.

Chuck has done a dog pile. Pat? We'd like you guys to dog pile. We're going to dog pile. But none of us want to be the base. Billy, where are you going? Billy, where are you going? What the fuck are you doing, Billy?

Billy, what are you doing? Are you serious, Billy? That's like the most Billy thing ever. Billy. Oh, Billy's a pussy? Billy. You're a fucking bitch, Billy. Billy's a huge pussy. What are you doing? You know what are you doing? Are you serious, Billy? That's like the most Billy thing ever. Billy. Oh, Billy's a pussy? You're a fucking bitch, Billy. Billy's a huge pussy. You know what Frank's doing?

I didn't know that. All right, who wants to be on the bottom? Why does Frank have his hand pressed against the glass like his... All right, let's go. Dogbob! Dogbob! Yeah! Yeah!

Dogbob! Dogbob! Come on, Billy! Come on, Billy! Frank is... Frank is... Frank is... Yeah! Come on, Billy. Come on, Billy. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. That was great That was good Holy shit I thought we were talking about it Nah nah

It was awesome Frank great job Oh look at that Jerry What a fucking guy You got a friend in me You got a friend in me. Let's go, Frank. Getting up on the floor. Yep, he got you. He got you.

He got you. There we go. Give it up, Frank. Yeah. That was a good dog pile, Frank. That was electric. Billy's such a bitch. I don't know what his deal is.

What was that? But I don't know. He's been a little bit temperamental. I agree with that, but you guys were kind of bitches too. Why didn't you dog pile? Oh, no. We brought them in so they could dog pile in front of us. Don't tell me that. I agree with that, but you guys were kind of bitches too. Why didn't you dog pile? Oh, no, we brought them in so they could dog pile in front of us. Don't tell me that. I thought we were all satisfied.

The satisfaction of watching a dog pile was incredible. I can't believe everybody was out of breath. That was so tiring. Incredible dog pile. They laid down. They all just laid down. I'm out of breath from dominating Kyle, and nobody mentioned it. You did dominate him.

You did. Shout out Chuck. Chuck went in with some good juice. Can we get a picture of that? Can we get a replay of that? I feel strong. Frank. Nobody saw you body him.

We should just make him throw it in his body. Frank's allowed on the yak as long as he's here in a dog pile. You did body me. You're twice my size. Did you get on there? No, he didn't. Oh, yeah. Chuck really set the tone.

No, it wasn't moving fluidly enough. Oh, Brandon. Good angles, too. Big man. I just laid down. Tommy just stood up. Tommy just stood up like it was a picture. That's where I lost him.

Look at Tommy just standing up. We didn't get. That's where I lost him. Look at Tommy just standing up. We didn't get a good shot of the dog pile. Nah. Who's that on the very bottom? Jake. Jake was game for anything. So that was huge. All right.

I didn't like that Billy didn't want to do that, though. He's been in that mood. I didn't want to do that. Is that a mood been in that mood. I didn't want to do that. Is that a mood or is that a complex? Yeah, he's a weird. Billy's like a. Is he too new for school? He's got a little too school.

He's got a little bit of Rico in him where, like, he wants to be. He, like, he, like, wants to be taken seriously. But it's like that's not what people like. We're not a serious company. It's not the formula. Yeah. Yelled at me at the gambling house, which was nice. Did he?

Oh, yeah. For what? It was nice. Yeah, I wasn't cleaning up fast enough. Oh. Who did that? I got to have a talking with him. He thinks, like, he's like, I want everyone to think I'm, like, serious.

No, that's not funny. I need to hear more about him yelling at you for not cleaning up fast enough. Yeah, what the fuck is that? Explain the entire scenario. They were trying to record PMT, and we were cleaning up the food. And he yelled at you? Oh, yeah. Yikes.

And full voice? Or he scolded you? Is that your role? Was it a cuss? What did he say? Hurry the fuck up? Yeah. There was a lot of clapping and snapping.

Oh, no. That's way worse than any verbalization. And I don't. What was this? Overly clapping could be sarcastic. A few weeks ago. He caught backlash from any verbalization. And I don't, what was this? I think overly clapping could be sarcastic. A few weeks ago. He caught backlash from Rico about it. Because I don't remember yelling at, like, there was no yelling going on inside.

No, this was probably like a month ago. There was no yelling going on inside the studio. Like, we weren't yelling at Billy to get everyone out. No, you guys were on the couch. You need to discipline him, Big Cat. You're the only one really among us who can discipline him. Here's the problem. It's very similar, Roan, to what we're dealing with,

the overinflated egos. We need a washing of it. I deal with an issue where there's a new crop of Barstool fans that are bitch-made. They're bitch-made. And what I mean, I'm not talking about Yak listeners. They're bitch made. Ah, yeah. Ah, yes. They're bitch made. They're bitch made. And what I mean, not talking about yak listeners,

because yak listeners are... They're just... They're sickos. They are sickos. They're sickos. Yak listeners are hard bodies. Yeah, they're hard bodies. But what I meant by bitch made,

it's like, I'll bust Billy's balls and they'll be like, why are you being so mean to Billy? It's like, if Billy was in Milton, he would have already cried and quit. And I'm not saying that that's good, whatever,

but they're bitch made. Some dozen fans at times are bitch made? Yes. It's like, guess what, guys? We can fucking bust each other's balls and it doesn't have to be a big deal. Yacht listeners? Nope. None of them have ever tried to defend any of us.

Right, yacht listeners are hardcore. That's why I love them. They're the hardcore, like, we're the, they're fucking, what's the? We work for them. We're like public servants. What was the hardcore wrestling? They're just wrestling through barbed wire and shit. Backyard wrestling.

Yeah, that's, yeah. We're the ACW. Y'all did Owen watch. Yeah. I want to get to the bottom of this. I don't like the snapping. I don't either. I didn't know that.

Owen, you're above Billy. You're Billy's boss. You are Billy's boss. Take a leave of absence. Make it be the bottom of the pile. Actually, let's have Billy in for a pile on, and let's all pile on Billy. Is there a hole in this? You're leaking. There's a hole in for a pile on And let's all pile on Billy Is there a hole in this? You're leaking

There's a hole in your Joe Oh god Owen go get me some fucking paper towels Come on Stop stop Stop stop Oh it's happening fast What happened?

How'd that happen? They dropped on the floor During the pile on The pile on We needed a pile on Cam Fuck You had me No you had me by a second How'd that happen? They dropped on the floor. They're in the pylon. The pylon. We needed a pylon, Cam. Fuck. You had me.

No, you had me by a second. You had me by the half second. Quigs. Yeah. I think there's some people that are a little bit bitch made now. Not even people at Barstool, I'm saying. But there are. People who watch consume Barstool.

The general consumer. Your nose for them Being bitch made Is very accurate It's crazy to me It always just Sniffs out the bitch made-ness Oh you're being mean To Billy

What? Billy has the fucking Best job in the world And he's asked to do Very little He's good at it He's a very funny blogger He's good at doing very little

Yeah He is incredible Billy is a very funny blogger I've complimented him many times. But it's also just very bizarre to me. Not Yak, though. Yak fucking ACW. He just wrestles using barbed wire.

Yeah, that's fucked. That's not right. Yeah, or like human. You know human? Super human? Super human, the guy who like power bombs, microwaves and shit like that. What does he say? What's his tag on?

Fuck this shit Fuck this shit Yeah, he jumps through like a bunch of lights Yeah Early 90s NBA Early 90s South Africa Yeah All that shit

That's our fans Yeah Billy's fans are rolls of Charmin toilet paper Billy's fans are fucking Very nice. The Jersey Jerry Army just reached out to me. Oh, my God. That's huge.

They assemble quick. They're so fast. They're the fastest. Said, Owen, we here at the Jersey Jerry Army are here for you if you need protection. Call on your ranks at any time, and we are there for you. From the first Lieutenant Patel himself. Who's that? Patel.

Lieutenant Patel? Yeah, his name's Patel. Pranvit Patel. What Who's that? Patel. Lieutenant Patel? Yeah, his name's Patel. Pranvit Patel. What do we got behind us? That's the fake Canelo Alvarez. Oh, look at his cover photo already. It is? It's me, Big Cat, Jerry, and Patel.

Oh, my God. These guys are the quickest army. They are the fastest. There is. Jesus, Jerry. What did you do? What's up, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come here. Come sit on Owen's lap. Come sit right on his lap. What's up, man? What's up, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah, come here. Come sit on Owen's lap. Come sit right on his lap. What's up, man? What's up, man? I'm Matt. What's up, dude? How's it going?

How we doing? I'm Nick. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, you remember my brother, the cheese roller? What's up, brother? Hey, hop on the microphone. Good to see you. What's up, big dog?

Oh, hop on the microphone. No one knows what you're saying. No one can hear you. Who's here? My boy Billy Q Oh yeah I remember Billy Q Yeah

He's fighting He's MSG on Saturday Let's go Hell yeah Yeah yeah Hell yeah It's big time

He's ready to go Yo flex those ears brother Flex the ears There he is right there right KB show him KB show him your Show him your ear a little bit KB give him a little

You guys are Jersey boys right? Well I'm What's Long Island? He went to identify himself. Yo, what's up, man? How's it going? You think KB could wrestle this guy? Yes. Did you wrestle in high school?

But you got a big fight coming up. Yeah, I don't think we get hurt. You don't think so? Just do it. Don't actually wrestle. Just give me what your starting move would be. Did you wrestle in high school? No. I did jiu we get hurt. Okay. I don't think so. Just do a, like, don't actually wrestle. Just give me, like, what your starting move would be. Did you wrestle in high school? No.

I did jujitsu. See, I always disobeyed. You did jujitsu right after high school. All right, fine. Never mind. He's too scared. Show him your ear, though. Show him your ear.

Show him your ear, though. Just show him. Do an ear wash. Do an ear. Yeah, a little bit. Show him. Show him. Why are you being humble?

When are you turning into a bitch? Come on, show him. Show him the ear. You're becoming show him. Why are you being humble? When are you turning into a bitch? Come on, show him. Show him the ear. You're becoming a bitch. Those are alpha ears. These are what's... You have an ear off. No, you got a little.

These are gamma ears. Wait, get in the right camera. Where is the camera? These are sigma ears over here. Ask him how he got those ears. It would be funny if he was like Beats by Dre. All right, man. Well, good luck.

Good luck. Good luck on Friday or Saturday. Sorry. Good to see you, my dog. You always look at a fighter's ear and you tell he's got a wrestling background or whatever and you describe a fighter like, oh, he's a jujitsu fighter. He's got a wrestling background. I always describe this guy.

He was a hockey fighter. Yeah. He burst his shit turned into like MMA dirty dirty yeah love it

we got Brandon picking his nose Brandon's picking his nose there when's the fight Saturday Saturday night let's get it

should we come look at Billy's ears yeah those are crisp ears looks like a drawing yeah completely bitch made ears

alright well good luck with your interview You got Rob in Good to see you boys Hey take it easy Good luck with everything Don't put him on the yak My boy Brian O'Connor

Watches all Yo shout out Brian O'Connor Brian O'Connor Viva Viva Viva Viva

Viva Yo Brian sounds like a badass He sounds like a fucking Brian you know He's the quarterback On our flag football team Quarterback On the flag football team.

Okay. Stop picking yourself, Brandon. Jesus Christ. This dude's picking himself up. Brandon's so quickly to want to get out of the yak. There's a split second. I thought that was Canelo. A split second.

You said... Someone said that's the fake Canelo. Oh, really? The Fanelo? I knew he looked familiar. Who's Canelo fighting next? It's like Song or something like that? Caleb Plant.

Plant. Canelo versus Plant. Close. That doesn't work well on posters. Yeah, versus Plant. That's what I'm saying. I saw the poster of it. I was like, what?

Is he smoking weed? KB versus Plant. Yeah, and he lost to Plant. I fucking took it out. TKO. Hoboken Hospital. I pass that like every week. That hospital you took him to?

Jesus Christ. What just happened to you? I thought you took the path. Pass that. Pass that hospital. Oh, man. Fun show? Fun show. Yeah. The Lord. Oh, man. Fun show. Fun show.

Yeah. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I think we have to run back that dog pile and make it better. Yeah, we'll do it. Surprise dog pile next week. It's only Tuesday. You want to do a Mississippi drill with me? It's like an Oklahoma drill, but you have to spell Mississippi.

You lay on your backs head to head, and then it's like three, two, one. You get up and tackle each other. That's Oklahoma, I thought. No. Fuck. Yeah, that's Oklahoma. Wrong state. I thought you meant on each other's backs.

Fuck. I thought you were dotting I's or something. That could be something. What did Rico say to Billy? I want to know every- Oh, something about respect. What? In what way?

In what way? Billy snapped at you. Jesus. Let us know if you need protection, Owen. Yeah. It wasn't on me. Let us know. It was in general.

Just say something. You see something, say something. Mm-hmm. When it comes to the Jersey Jerry Army. These guys are fast, man. They're the fastest. If you ever need anything, you call on the Jersey Jerry Army, and we'll take care of it. How many deep are you guys now?

35,000. No, not that much. 3,500. Here comes back in, Brandon. 5,000. Close to 5,000. 5,000? No, not that much. $3,500? Here comes back in Brandon. $5,000? Close to $5,000. $5,000. Can you Google what countries you could take over with an army of $5,000?

Oh, Brandon, are you excited to join us? I was letting the guy take my... Probably a lot. Thanks for coming in, Brandon. Thanks for joining the show today. You get that booger. Oh, do I still have one? No, no, no.

You got it. We watched you. Oh, good. You ate it. I didn't eat you. We watched you pick it. Oh, good. Yeah. You ate it. I didn't eat it. All right, so tomorrow, can you please do the yak? With Jersey and Glenny.

Jersey, Jerry, and Glenny. Why don't I get to draft the people? You can draft the people. Oh, okay, fine. Go ahead. Wait, why don't we each... I don't know, Jerry. Why don't we each get to a point or replace?

Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah. It's a good idea. I like that. That is a good idea. All right. A champion. Jerry will be my champion. Well, no, he's his own. No, no, Yeah. It's a good idea. I like that. That is a good idea. All right. A champion.

Jerry will be my champion. Well, no. He's his own. No, no, no. Jerry gets to pick one. Glenn is here. Jerry's here. Jerry's here.

He gets to pick one. Kyle picks one. And he's yours. So Jerry's picking Sass's? No, no, no. Jerry gets to pick Jerry's, and Big Cat picked his, and it was Jerry. Now Jerry gets to pick someone to replace him. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Pay attention. Let's end the show with this. Mm-hmm. Okay. Pay attention. Let's end the show with this. Who will make their picks? Okay. Mackenzie. Okay. So tomorrow it's me, Jerry, Mackenzie so far.

And they have to sit in those seats and have those thoughts. Jerry, you're sitting in my seat tomorrow. All right. I'll do – should I pick or not? Yeah, yeah. I'll do – I'll do Ebony. Ebony. Good pick. Good pick or not? Yeah, yeah. I'll do Ebony. Ebony. Good pick.

Good pick. Brandon, this is going to be a good show. I don't have to replace him. No, I know. You're hosting it. Ron? I'm trying to think. Can you come back to me?

Glennie did say he would come on. I'm going to pick a good one. Okay. Should Glennie be mine? Would that be easier? I don't know. Glennie's my tribute. Yeah.

Okay. Nick. Clout Demon. Go ahead. Let me pass to Owen. I have to think. I would like to appoint Michael Greer. I was going to go Greer. Greer's good. I'd like to appoint Blatman. All right, Blatman. Very good.

You're responsible for bringing that person in. Right. I'm not going to tell him. Right. I will. Right. Who's your going to tell him. Right. I will. Right. Who's your pick, Jerry? Ebony. Ebony. Okay. My pick is Jerry.

Yeah, Kahn's is up for grabs. Who did you take, Kyle? McKenzie. Who do you have, Ron? Blackman. I'm going to go Nick Fasoli. Oh. Oh. Oh, my.

This ensemble. Nice. It's another Nick. This is a star-studded. We're going to fuck around and get kicked off. Yeah. Okay, so. Might work.

I was torn between Fasoli or Prez. El Prez. El Prez. It would be Greer. I went Fasoli. Greer. Fasoli. Yeah. Me. Jerry. Blattman. El Perez So tomorrow it will be It will be Greer I want Fasoli Greer Fasoli Yeah Me

Jerry Blatman McKenzie Ebony Should I have Glennie instead of Blatman So I'm not hosting Jerry's hosting then If he's sitting in your chair

Yeah Jerry is hosting Would it be easier if I had Glennie Should I have Glennie Because we already asked him Yeah we did already ask Glennie You don't have Glennie instead of Eb have Glennie? Because we already asked him. Yeah, we did already ask Glennie. All right. I'll have Glennie as my host. You know what? Have Glennie instead of Ebony.

Okay. No, no, no, no. Oh, you want Ebony? I wouldn't. I'd like Ebony. All right. Ebony's in. Do you want me to swap out?

I can swap out. Let Roan swap it. All right. All right, Roan. Yeah, okay. I'll use mine for Glennie. So Glennie will be Roan's spot. All right.

So that'll be a great yak tomorrow. So I'm hosting? Jerry's hosting. You're hosting. I'm hosting. It's hosting You're hosting I'm hosting It's a lunch show It's you and Jerry hosting together Oh yes

You guys will co-host Alright Mackenzie has a good voice She does That's a great show Stephen Che I'm trying to help you out Is he going to be here?

Yes Stephen Che Stephen Che will be here And I want you to create a very well detailed prep sheet You got it Because I feel like there's some good conversations we can uncover with this group. Yes. I want to learn a lot about people. It's like the UN.

Model UN. The UN. Actually, we should have them play Model UN. Yeah, we'll assign them a country. Yeah, all right. So now do a country. I was Costa Rica one year.

Can we, Che, can you print out a Model UN? Oh, fuck, I want to be here tomorrow. Yeah. I'm jealous as fuck. Are you masculinized Costa Rico? Costa Rico? He said Costa Rico.

Costa Rico. Costa Rico. Costa Rico. Costa Rico. Costa Rico. Costa Rico. What a rider you are. All right.

The letter A is too feminine for him. Everyone, good luck tomorrow. Good luck at your show. I'll be around, too. I won't be. I have something I have to do at 1 o'clock, but I'll be around, too. I won't be. I have something I have to do at 1 o'clock, but I'll be around for the back half of the YAC to make sure. And make sure McKenzie gets her points off.

Don't silence her. Don't silence her. Don't silence her. Don't silence her. Don't silence her. Don't silence her. Don't silence her. I know he's going to try to talk over her.

Yeah. Yeah. Make sure you. Don't rush to end it. Where? Pastoli. Yeah. Me.

Jerry. Glennie. Glennie. McKenzie. Eber. Bastoli. Yeah. Me. Jerry. Glennie. McKenzie. Ebony. That's actually a great crew. Yeah, that's better than us. Yeah, no, it is. That's going to be a great show.

If I come in and the logo is just them. Henry Ruggs got a... Oh, God. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah. What happened? Did he... Did he, like, hurt? Vehicular manslaughter. What? Yeah, I think he. Yeah. What happened? Did he hurt? He killed a manslaughter.

What? Yeah, I think he killed a guy with a DU. Wait, who? He was drunk? And he was... Wait, they already have all that news? Yes. Yeah, somebody died.

He was charged with... Oh, fuck. Yeah, not good. Yeah, that's... Dante Stallworth only got, like, 30 days for that, though. Oh, shit. Jay? You dropping him? Not today, though. Oh, shit. Jay? You dropping him?

Not today, out of respect. It was early. Out of respect for who? It's too soon to drop him. Out of respect. Think of it as each morning. Out of respect for who? He'll get dropped tomorrow with waivers.

I mean, we don't know all the facts yet. Someone is dead. This just broke right before the show. I would not tweet anything, Steven. No. There's one thing I've learned. It's not the blog about potential crimes. It's not the crime.

It's the death. Yeah. A person died. Yeah, so I'm not making light of that. That's why I'm not. It's like the most heinous thing. Well, it only says that. I'm in charge with a DUI right now.

That's it. No, it said in the Schefter's tweet that he'll be DUI resulting in death. I'm the most remorseful about this of everyone in this room. Che has a Bucks fan? Dude, the DUI fucking people driving drunk and killing people. That is the most heinous. Yeah, that's the most fucked up thing. Goddamn. All right, well, that was a really fucked up thing. Goddamn.

All right, well, that was a really sad way to end this. I stifled it. We'll talk more about this on tomorrow's Yak. Yeah, I want to hear for solo songs. See what Ebony thinks. See what McKenzie's worldview says about it. And Jerry will weigh in. Yep. Also, I'll meet Greer.

Oh, great guy. Great. You've never met Greer? There he is right now Do you want to meet him Before tomorrow? You gotta announce him As your champion

He is dressed like shit Yeah he is My god His elite socks Are you wearing elite socks? He looks like he smells Like dips Should we tell him now?

Should we tell everybody now? Yeah Maybe You should go meet your champion now I don't know We're making a marathon show of this. I love it. I don't mind it.

Jeff D has the studio at 12, 2, 2.15. All right, let's go. I have the power to back him. Oh, we're leaving. We're out. We're out. We're just, Greer's being announced. Greer's just being announced.

Greer's meeting Brandon, and then. Oh, fuck. Greer. Greer. Greer. Greer. Greer. You look like shit right now.

What? What is it? Get the whole outfit. You're on the show tomorrow, Greer. Get out from behind whole outfit. You're on the show tomorrow. You're on the show tomorrow. You're hiding behind the cube. You're sitting in that chair tomorrow on the yak. Yes.

You're Owens champion. You're Owens champion. Not today. Yeah, don't sit today. Tomorrow, you're there. But look. Look. Yeah, that's where you'll be sitting.

Well, you're going to have to kill one person during the show. That's part of the show. It's Hunger Games Yak version. You know Brandon? Yeah, I know Brandon. Okay. Brandon, he said he doesn't know you. I said I know him.

We've never really talked. We did a little bit. Yeah, Brandon will be hosting with Jerry. I'm sorry. All right. We'll tune in tomorrow. Brandon and Jerry hosting. Brendan.

Brendan. Brendan. Brendan. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankee pop It's the act It's the act Thank you.