The Yak - The Boys Go ONE MILLION X | The Yak 2-18-22

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

Slow your roll!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yaks. Ooh. It's the Yaks. It's almost St. Yaktrix Day. That's right. Get your fucking gear at the store, store.barstoolsports.com. People are holding shirts. People are wearing shirts. People are thinking about shirts on their own.

But it's a fun Friday. So buy yourself a shirt. We're going to have a fun Friday. No funny shit. A, they're good shirts. And B, if you support us buy yourself a shirt. We're going to have a fun Friday. No funny shit. A, they're good shirts. And B, if you support us, buy the shirt. And we still have so many Untell Me I'm Story shirts from last year. We still have actually all of them.

So be sure to snag one of those. For the St. Yachtrix Day, and it's a fucking wheel, bro. And the thing is, the best part about that shirt is you don't have to explain it. Everybody will get that pretty much immediately. It's implicit. Who's the wheel on? The Boy Dad Jameson logo. On Owen. Guinness logo. Yeah, that's right. Pretty nice.

Should we just do a wheel just to kind of celebrate the fact that we're we have wheel shirts maybe maybe, a wet wheel. I think we have some regular wheel shirts coming out, too, that are not St. Patrick's Day. Shirts get me in the mood for fish and chips. Oh, yeah, they do.

I love fish and chips. Dude, I had some cod last night. You had cod last night? You don't see my cod bod, bro? I'm fucking paunchy. From where? Your shit, you're not on. You're not on at all.

Fuck. It's not the head fest. Is that your first words? It's vinegar, which is nice. Oh, he already talked. You're not on at all. Fuck. It's not the head fence. Is that your first words? It's like malt vinegar, which is nice. Oh, he already talked. He had talked. They cut your mic. They cut KB's mic because he's on some, I don't know what type of shit he's on, honestly.

I'd like to have a wheel. Just a second. And go ahead, KB. All right, where'd you get the cod? Someplace in, I think it was in Bow Room Hill or some shit. Let me put you guys on to fish cheeks. Ah, dude, the crab fried rice is phenomenal. Fish cheeks.

My move is I'll get it, I'll eat it all, and I'll leave the empty container just out for the rest of the week because it smells that good. The fish does? Crab fried rice. You don't want your apartment to smell like crab fried rice. No, it doesn't. It's not like a seafood-y

gross smell like that. I don't want my apartment to smell like food all the time. It's my new favorite restaurant. Pork belly, fantastic. The cheek of a fish is typically the more fatty. It has a little bit more flavor. There's like a grease on it. Any Manhattan boys, let's roll there tonight. You're just trying to get free shit.

No, I already do. So it doesn't matter. I'm putting you guys on. You get free shit from a fish spot? Fish cheeks. I think it's Thai. I don't even know. Damn, I'll come through and get some fish cheeks. I really thought we were having a fun day today.

Let's have a fun day. I had a fun day yesterday after work. I really thought we're having a fun day today. Let's have a fun day. I had a fun day yesterday after work. I dropped a rack. You did not drop a rack. I did. Dropped a rack. No, you dropped... Yeah, you dropped the rack. What are you talking about?

You only have one rack. No, I have multiple racks. I dropped a few. You didn't drop a few fucking racks. I did. I have no idea racks. I dropped a few. You didn't drop a few fucking racks. I did. I dropped two and a half. No, no, no. I have no idea how many I dropped.

And I remember asking someone. He was a mathematician. You dropped a bunch of racks in front of a mathematician? I was like, when someone passes out and you wave your hands and call for a doctor. Yeah. I was calling for a mathematician. Finally got one. He said, it's impossible to count.

Can we get the dog in the yak for a while yeah yeah I just want that dog that's here I got this reposado boys what are you doing where did the shot glasses come from Igers I thought we were having a fun Friday yeah we're having a fun Friday

let's drop some money and let's have some reposado tequila we all have to spend $500 today fun Friday. Yeah, we're having a fun Friday. Let's just drop some money and let's have some Reposado. Tequila? We all have to spend $500 today, so we'll all find something online. We're all dropping half a rack. I don't know if I can do that. We're all doing it. We'll subsidize yours. Alright, that works.

I don't have a rack to drop either. Did it all yesterday. Dropping a empty bottle of five-hour energy. What did you spend it on? I got the Stranger Things Nike Blazers. It was a sick collab. I'm not wearing them now.

You are wearing different Nike Blazers now? Yeah. I got the Back to the Future shoes. Damn. Those were like $10,000. Did you really? Yeah. But they were like $2,000. I guess I dropped two racks. I didn't even see shoes. Damn. Yeah. $10,000. Did you really? Yeah. But they were like $2,000. I guess I dropped two racks.

I didn't even, I don't know, I didn't even see it. Hi. Oh. Who? How much? Who's this?

Close the door. Close the door. Come here. Hi. Hi. What's this dog's name? I'd name that dog Nick. Is it named after a food? Should we guess the dog's name? Is it name that dog Nick. Is it named after a food?

Should we guess the dog's name? Matches Owen. Hi. Hey, hi. Matches my Travis Scott. This is a fun day. Yeah, it's a fun day. Boy, girl.

Can we guess his name? Four letters. Actor. Okay, first or last name? Hugh letters. It's named after an actor. An actor. Okay, first or last name? Hugh. Hugh Jackman.

Is it Brad? Your dog's name's Brad? Don't you like Bradley Cooper? Pit? Bradley Cooper. Oh, it's Cooper. I knew that about LEL. Stop. Live event.

Hi. Oh, yeah. Nick, I don't think I like your talking to dog voice. Hi there. Hello. It's terrible. I don't think I like your talking to dog voice. Hi there. Hello. It's terrible. I don't think I like that one bit. Dogs love me, man.

Hi. Hi, hi, hi. You sound like one of- Mr. Bill. Yeah, like Jim Henson, Reject, Sesame Street voice. Don't say that. I have the utmost respect for Henson. Love Henson so much.

Yeah, you can go. You want to get out of here? This is the season six finale? Which Muppet is it? Right now is the season six finale? No, it's the last draft. No, the day before the next draft. Yeah, so the draft is...

I thought the debut of season six was Tuesday when Big Cat got back. I guess this would be the finale. Hey. Hey, you. Hi. The serious finale was me, you, and Kyle. Hey.

Oh, he likes the tennis ball. I was looking around. I had no idea whose mouth that was coming from. Oh, yeah. I might. Oh, my goodness. That's a big ball for that little dog. Those guys bullied me out of my dog voice.

Now he talks deep as fuck. I just play with your ball. Why is that dog wagging so much? That dog knows where the camera is, too. Yeah, it does. Hey. I can't. You know I can't drink that straight.

Why not? It's fruity. You want me to go make you a drink? It's not fruity. It would make me vomit. Nobody wants some of this La Gratona? I will. I don't know what it is.

Are we spending money today? Yeah, we're dropping half racks. Sass, some rack or two? If the camera was off you, would you have some La Gratona? I'll drop a quarter rack. What if we all drop a rack collectively? We could drop a rack collectively. 200 each.

I've been on my game of shit recently So I'm kind of off the alcohol Collective My mind's going to my element How would this Benefit the show? People would see our interests And what we're truly passionate about

Is not a bit Because we're spending real money What if we got like A thousand dollars worth of free shit Or something like that Like what if someone Kind of reached out to us And was like

Hey I could kind of give you This big and valuable thing for free. We could open the phone lines to get free shit. We could just call in and tell them we're going to give you a bunch of shoes. Yeah, what's the coolest thing you could send us? That's a call-in offer. We should have a P.O. box. Probably pussy.

No, you've had pussy brain. I have had pussy brain, you're right. Why is pussy on your mind so bad? I don't know. I've got so much pussy in L.A. It's hard to get back to normal. That is true. You did.

I did. I did. Mainly fucked up. We got to stop joking about getting pussy. Yeah. Yesterday, we got confronted, Nick and I. Whom? We grabbed a drink.

Woman. Checks out. Tall blonde. She comes up to us. She says, do you remember me? I said, not at all. Woman. Checks out. Tall blonde. She comes up to us. She says, do you remember me? I said, not at all. Nick said, vividly. And then we got brunch with her, and then she was in the crowd,

maybe not in the video for that clip you guys showed of me dancing with the girls. And she said, the next day, me and the girls all watched it, and you, she pointed to me, claimed that you fucked all of them. And she called him out. And she didn't understand that it was sarcastic. She was like, one of those is my sister who's engaged. You fucked a girl who's engaged? Well, if you listen to the show more often,

you would know that I always joke about getting pussy. It's very clearly thinly veiled sarcasm. She was like, no, you said you did. It's fine. Just know that we laughed at you. And just don't do it again. Did you fuck any of them? No, that was the joke.

Yesterday's show was also very sexually charged. It was. A little too sexually charged. That wasn't on us, though. Didn't Sass actually get head from the fiancé, though? Yeah, Sass did. Shit's not fucking us, though. Didn't Sass actually get head from the fiancé, though? Yeah, Sass did. Shit's not fucking funny, man. Pussy's not fucking funny.

It's not. Pass this down to Nick. Nick's the only one who will do some reposado. Reposado with you, right? You're doing it with me. I'm doing it, but everybody else I think is out. Correct? Correct?

Zah? Zah? You doing Zah? Zah's in. I can do one with the chaser. TJ Correct? Correct? Za? Za? I could do maybe. You doing Za? I could do one with a chaser. TJ? TJ Za, you in? TJ and Za.

All right, I'll pour one for TJ and Ja. La Gritona. Why did you wake up today and say today was tequila day on the act? You said we were going to have fun. Yeah, we're trying to have fun. It's Friday. Have a shot, Brandon. Open this, KP.

I'm going to be hammered. It's the weed of liquor. Where are you going, KP? La Grigona. Get a chaser for him. Let's get these for you. Are you mentioning yourself over there? Isn't ducking redundant for you?

That's fine. That's true. No. You're not on. Isn't stretching redundant for you, Brandon? That's fine. You're always gaped. I'm a gapey boy.

Next week, gape week on the Yak. Be sure to tune in. Hell yeah. It goes to tune in. Hell yeah. It goes to the music. It does. What's this transition? What's this transition for Kyle? What is this, some fucking rights-free EDM?

Some lo-fi beats to do homework and study to. Fuck yes, bro. You in the chat, DJ? The lo-Fi chat? It looks like pure water. That's some... It's not.

Some crystal clear... Right, and that's a reposado, too, so it should be a little bit... That's not daiquiri. It's not daiquiri. You guys know the t-shirt to turban technique? Uh-uh. Yeah, I do. I always do that.

Really? Oh, yeah, it's quick. That is... I did that that. Really? Oh, yeah, it's quick. I did that recently. A strong odor. Yes, it's tequila, and you should do one with us. Will you do one with us? Holy shit. That was easy.

Brandon's wild. Brandon, are you going home right after this? Yeah. All right, you're good. Poder es servir, porque Dios es amor. Rowan, how was confession? I mean, I confess. Well, that's why we're drinking.

What did they say? What was their reaction? He was like, I had the video. I tried to send it to the group chat, but it's like five minutes, which is a little bit long for this show. But he basically said, whatever you do to the least of God's servants, you do to Jesus himself.

So I was like, oh, so I throw Jesus scissors every time that I throw Tommy's smoke scissors. And he basically confirmed and corroborated that. I don't know that Tommy or KB are the least of God's servants. Then he told you it's too late? No, he said it was, but I explained to him I wasn't sorry. He's like, why do you think you're not sorry? And I said, because the actions didn't come out of malice.

There was no malice in my actions. It was like boredom and curiosity. That makes you a sociopath. You said that you weren't sorry. Wait, the confession. Did you record it? None of those things are actually sins, though. Exactly, and that's why I wasn't sorry.

I would argue they are. How? Causing pain to your neighbor? Harm, yeah. Where is the pain? Who got pain? Maybe his hand was filled with pricks. The amendment?

It's not in the amendments. Oh, boy. Maybe it's not a deadly one. It might be, what, sloth? Commandments? What, Rome? Is it the amendment? Rome is filled to the brim with wrath.

1544 for schooly clubhouse. Wrath? I mean, I need to have power to be able to give out wrath, to inflict wrath. I believe it's thou shall not steal from thy neighbor. To give out wrath. To inflict wrath. I believe it's thou shall not steal from thy neighbor. Passes that to sass, but don't put the camera on. There's a lot of things that are with thy neighbor. Like coveting thy neighbor's wife.

You know that any time that you even think about titties, that's the same as adultery? Yep. It's the exact same thing. Yep. I'm a serial. That's what I mean. And I'm the one that has to go to confession? There's levels of sin.

No. Anytime you even think a little bit about adultery, that's the same as putting your penis fully into a vagina to completion and conceiving. There's a five second rule if you think or look at titties so you're allowed to clear the air by looking at tacos directly afterwards. What if you bust though? Can you just

bust real quick? What if you think about it and bust within the five? Within the five seconds. Yeah, I think that's fair. I'll send a... TJ, I'll send you the ship. I don't know if you even want to fucking... Should I send it to you, TJ?

Is it worth it even putting it on? It's like audio for the most part, and then there's like a little bit of video. I think everyone wants to hear it. Yeah, a little bit. Might as well listen to it. I'll give you a little clip. Five minutes, but I'll send it over to you.

What's that potion? If you airdrop it to me, it might send faster. I think it's more of the fact that you did it. My phone's name is Doug Dimenow. What? How can I get through? Is that what you were saying? Wait, can you pull up the part where you said you're not sorry?

That's the part that I want to hear. Don't leave so soon. Alright, let me find it, bro. Should I scroll through it on my own? I need to confess to a priest. Oh, I thought you meant about yesterday. Hey, you didn't drop a penny. I didn't drop a penny.

You're not a penny. I'm going to get a tattoo today. It might be a rack.. You're not a penny. I'm going to get a tattoo today. It might be a rack. You're not. You guys say you're going to get a tattoo every day? I got it for 4 o'clock. Is this one of the ones that's just $50? No, this one's going to be more.

TJ, I'm waiting on you to accept this airdrop. I'm getting a big one. You got a secret? What? Is it a secret or are you going to tell us? Is it a Pokemon theme? No. Is it? You feeling What? Is it a secret or are you going to tell us? Is it Pokemon themed? No. Is it fantasy themed?

I need to figure out a way to unswastika this. Is it Owen's face? Somebody said it already. Maybe you should just turn it into the Star of David somehow. Yeah, maybe I could. That's on Pokemon for having a swastika-esque map. And they probably did that shit on purpose. What type of company is Pokemon?

Japanese? Who do they fight with in the War 2? Yeah, who do they fight? The Japanese? Who do they fight with? Chinese. No, no, who's on their team? They fought with...

The Axis of Evil. That's right. The big boys. Do you have any Lauder tattoos? Taylor Lautner? What'd you say? Lauder? Is that what people call Lord of the Rings?

Estee Lauder. Lauder. Estee Lauder. No, I don't. Estee Lauder. Spanish guy explaining the Lord of the Rings. How would a Star Lord of the Rings... Estee Lauder.

Fellowship of the Ring. Now, Star Lord of the the Rings probably around season two. You don't need the first for any story or character building. Hombres, agua de vida. I've said this a lot. Cuerpo del Señor. I started True Detective on the finale. An accident.

Watch the whole finale. Boys, I love you all like brothers. Sass, don't do it You won't be You said you were gonna do it It's so smooth It's like the smoothest Reposado that money can buy

Here it is Brandon See that's a sensation I don't like I like it And I say we do one more And then we get things cooking I want you guys to do another one We're all gonna do one more And then we're gonna play the theme song again

And we're coming in with crazy energy The warmth that it just Slitty boy He's on here It just It just threw a fucking microwave, boy. Yeah, I'm good. It just threw a fucking microwave into my tummy. It did.

Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot. It's just going down. You feel it all going down. Like a bottle rocket going the other way. But we should have tried a shitty tequila first just so we could really appreciate that that's good tequila. That is? Did you pick that up this morning?

No, I had it just sitting there. Just sitting there waiting. I picked up a nice Reposado and a nice Mezcal this past weekend. Did you take this off somebody else's face? You got the Mezcal on you? How many bottles you got in your house? You like Mezcal? Mezcal.

Reposado. Probably about 25. Damn. What's the most interesting thing? Yeah, clip that. What's the most interesting thing you have in your house, Ron? Because I feel like you definitely have a very, like, I don't know. I've been. Very bland?

It's more gaudy. It's nice to look at, but possession-wise, it's, it's... It's not minimalist, but it's pretty clean. Do you guys have all your shit just, like, hidden away somewhere? It's not out in the open? Where's all your cool shit? I don't have that much cool shit. I have the hourglass, but I need to get rid of it. It's very white.

It looks great. Very white. Everything's white. Very modern. He's not like Nick who buys like... Yeah, that's what I was wondering. He has trinkets and Nick Nats. I got no trinkets. I don't care for trinkets. He's got trinket posters. He's got trinkets out the wazoo. That's what everybody says about me. You know Nick, he's

got hella trinkets. What kind of trinkets? Funko Pops? No, I don't do Funko Pops. Gizmos, gadgets. I have gizmos, tchotchkes. You have aroma things too, right? Oils, yeah. I fuck with aromas. I fuck with aromas heavily.

Ambiance? I have two diffusers, a large and a small. You have gizmos and gadgets aplenty. Yes. You have who's its and what's its galore. Yes. I just have shelves with things I like. Yeah, it's thingamabobs. I had. I had. Twenty. Yeah, it's thingamabobs. I had.

20. Yeah. They were clunky to move. You got no model planes, nothing like that. I want to be where the people are. I just framed and hung up the first ad for the PS2 Lord of the Rings The Two Towers game. Very cool. I just got two ads for another PS2 game, SSX Tricky.

So what's up? People are just buying ads now? I think I put people onto it. You may have. TJ. I just got two ads for another PS2 game, SSX Tricky. So what's up? People are just buying ads now? I think I put people onto it. You may have, TJ. Because my apartment is filled with framed ads of things I like. Bro, you're American as fuck. I do too.

I have a Bud Light Olympic cycling one. That's not things you like. You don't like Bud Light or cycling. I know. TJ, did you try to buy the Ape Escape 2 ad? Not yet, but I'll look. Okay. That's his favorite video game ever. He said Ape Escape 2. It Not yet, but I'll look. Okay. That's his favorite video game ever.

He said Ape Escape 2. It was top five that came to mind. That's fine. It's a good game. Bro, I have an earache that comes on in waves and it just strikes like fucking lightning.

Is that a tumor, do you think? Or what's it called? It's a tumor. That's a tumor. That could be a tumor. It could be a tumor. Have you been Q-tipping? No, I don't Q-tip.

I know that that shoves the shit down, but I do have an excess amount of... I think you need to do another shot. Tumor. Now I got the rush of heat to my face. It's nice right now. I'm kind of going through the waves of the shot as it travels through my body. Oh, and this isn't making you want to come back? Come on, hop off for one hour.

This one could be nice. What if we could stop time off for one hour. Just one could be nice. What if we could stop time for just one hour? We won't tell anybody. If we could find a way. International waters could work. We're like on a plane between time zones. If we go on a ferry. A ferry.

If you ride a ferry. Save a horse. Those are gravitrons, but that's self-explanatory. I've never been on a Gravitron. Really? That's a Gravitron. It's the spinny state fair where you don't have to hold on. What's the thing that's like a Gravitron, but it's...

Oh, Tilt-A-Whirl? No. There's Tilt-A-Whirls. There's scrambled eggs. The zipper. The zipper. Oh, I never... I remember so vividly when I was younger, I was like at a fair and there was,

someone was on the, like the zipper was going and all of a sudden someone threw up at the top and the vomit just came flying. Yeah, dude. Because you're just splattered on the ground. You're like, you're in a strainer. Yeah. And I was like, I'm never doing that. State fairs are dangerous.

That just has to be part of the state fair. That people are dying, people are just throwing up all over you, people are fighting, people have one small hand. Statistically, one-sixth of the people that go to a state fair should die. What's this? That's the Gravitron, Lil Bro. Oh, what? That's a thing? Yeah, you don't like walking. Y'all have never been spun before.

Yeah, it just holds you in. And there's always like a cool guy walking. Yeah. He's like, he's walking around. But he's not actually cool. He looks terrible. That doesn't look fun at all. Whoa!

What time of their life? This tequila's got me throwed. KB, it's exactly what Kratom feels like. Yeah. Oh, there's a Gravitron operator? Yeah. And that dude is just so high. Definitely.

I'm the guy who just watches them. I watch them from the gate, and when they come off, I'm like, I got sick just watching. KB, Kratom is meant for people who sit in the center of the Gravitron like that. That's who it's advertised to. Made for State Fair employees. That was John Paul Kratom is meant for people who sit in the center of the Gravitron That's who it's advertised to Made for state fair employees That was John Paul Kratom I definitely made a stink on one of those one time Not I pooped myself

You pooped your pants No no no I made a stink like I was like get us off of here Like unionized the other kids on there Guys this isn't right Can you look up some Gravitron stunts I want to see a cool man Are they not strapped in I thought you were strapped in

That's like the whole point of it This dude's about to learn about centrifugal force Somebody get me a bucket with water Let's look up Gravitron fails I would love to hit a state fair with the boys I'd rather do that than a concert Really If we that than a concert. Really?

I hate the fair. Dude, if we go to a concert, KB's going to go somewhere else. Yeah, he will. That's just a part of the concert culture. He's just standing out. He's like, yeah, but this is the only place in the world this guy's cool. Yeah, once a year. They're screaming.

Yeah, what? I need to see what a bus is. Is that like a difficult trick? Is there a Gravitron porn? Where would the nut go? There's the episode of Workaholics where they hire a stripper and they rent the Gravitron. What? For Adam's bachelor party. It's really funny.

Probably expensive to move around. Ooh, maybe for your 21st. Oh, this song. This song is good, but we can't play it. I don't get what's going on. I don't think... This guy is like... Strip Club would be cool.

Oh, yeah, it would. Where would the titties go? Everywhere. I think they'd be cockeyed. I think that a load would very clearly just fucking be painted on everybody like eggs around the end. Yeah, it would.

I don't know. I think it would just be floating in front of you. Like outer space? Tang in outer space? Oh, he's trying. He's trying. He's trying to do something. Okay, what's he on?

He's about to show us what a load is. Oh, this guy's sick as fuck. Look at those shades. That is fucking awesome. He looks like the real Project X kid. Yeah. Come on, you can do it, kid. Jump.

Oh, yeah. That's our new logo. It has to be the best. He's got to be on top of the world right now. The Superman flatbrim? His boy is just... This is like Innocent Sun. The Superman flat brim? And his boy is just in a secret camera. Is this like in a secret camera?

At the flatty? No. This feels... Espinage. What year? What year? Should we guess? Superman hat?

No, so the thing is anybody that goes to a state fair is about 17 years behind in fashion. That's true. This was probably posted yesterday. I know, I believe that. What's this futuristic video doing online?

Brandon, you want another one of these? No, I don't. Thank you, though. All right, just pass this down to Nick. Fuck. Let me look at the comments. Is this the degrade me shot glass? It's for Nick.

All right, y'all got to degrade me. Dude, I'm spilling this. Wait, wait. Some guy did this at the fair in my hometown. He actually ripped a hole through the ceiling and was flung like a block away and landed in someone's backyard in 1954.

He broke their space-time continuum. He still used the Gravitron with duct tape covering the hole. The way they phrased it, I assume the guy lived. Yeah. That's hilarious. Seeing someone get launched from the Gravitron, that would be incredible. I wouldn't mind watching some flung men today.

I wouldn't either. You know, let's do that. Flung men? Oh, this is the zipper. Zipper fail. Zipper's just dumb. I don't know. Nothing is enjoyable about that

nothing at all it's not fast scary feels like you're in the closet from Matilda yeah yeah oh my

the pokey dude I just watched Matilda I don't remember a closet yeah it's the pokey thing with the spikes they put the fat boy sweat cake in there you remember

Rusted Root though do you and like the ones that fall real fast? Yeah. Those aren't fun. It's the equivalent of like going to a gun range and some like trained shooter just shoots a bullet right next to your head.

That's the feeling. There's like some fear. I don't know. It's like, oh, I almost. That looks horrible. There's nothing fun about that. They put you in a sarcophagus and just like stramble you it's not even like a smooth motion they're they jostle you just a cocktail probably just slamming your head against the fucking thing the thing is like a 13 year old getting paid a dollar 16 an hour

flip like a six-year- old and an eight year old. God damn, dude. Yeah, that's the guy. He's like, oh, I'm getting nauseous just watching this. I am, though. His kids are on there. A video at a state fair would be good. Just the patrons asking if they had fun.

Yeah, that's the good starter question. It must be his kids in that one. Hey, you're a patron, right? Did you have fun? Patron. So, did you have fun? Any patrons? So, as a patron, was there ever a moment where you were like, whoa, this is fun?

A big-ass deep-fried cake, though? Fried Twinkie. Fried everything. Elephant ear. Awesome. People always hype up fairs with the food It's amazing There's so many different options

You can only eat one meal You get there You eat a meal And then what? You go on the Gravitron And give it back to Earth You eat fried cotton candy It's everything

Fried Oreos. There's a tape festival in... Yon? A little tie-tie? Are you sweet? Let's get him another shot, bro. You have to take another shot because your tolerance is...

Only alcohol that's an upper. Let's get you going. Is that busted or is that true? Busty? Is that myth that busted? Is that a myth? Is that a petite myth or has it been busty? Probably.

Hold on. We need to stop yawning. Yawning's so tough. Come on. Oh, my God. You're going to have two shots of tequila. Will you, Brandon? Come tough. Come on. Oh, my God. You're going to have two shots of tequila. Will you, Brandon? No, I won't.

Come on. Come on. I mean, these are the moments. Can you pass me that one more shot glass so I can pour Brandon a half shot? No, I'm... Will you sing us Dust on the Bottle? There'll be a day when you're like, oh, man, I'd love to be taking tequila shots with the boys. Oh, dust on the bottle.

Watch me. And you're going to look back on this moment in 30 years. Fuck it all up.'re going to look back on this moment in 30 years. I will not look back on this moment in 30 years. I will be dead. You think you'll be dead? Oh, don't. Let's not have this conversation. You will not be.

I'll be 72 years old in 30 years. You will be very alive. You're a healthy man. I'm not a healthy man. I'll be 72 years old in 30 years. You will be very alive at 72. Don't kill the vibe. That's a half shot, bro.

Yours is. Gave nobody a full shot. Because I want to protect the show. You gave me a full shot. Okay, I gave Nick a full shot. Does anyone want to give a toast? I think there's some guests that would love to take a shot and spill some secrets. Why don't you go outside and grab the most stacked girl you can see?

Head to side? Stacked like a deck. Head to toe? Yeah. All right, let's take this first, and then KB will do it. We'll get a stacked can. Poder servir porque yo se sumur. He is to serve because God is love, my brother.

Oh, fuck. Whoa. Who flung that glass? I did. Was that Che? That was primal. Hello. Goodness gracious.

Why? You guys drink like gay men. Yeah, we do. We do do Speaking of Joey Kamasta has a live show tonight With Snooki They would probably love to take some shots I think he wants one

I think he does too Ken Jack Ken Jack No Maybe some sake Yeah probably His Asian girlfriend Would get pissed

I'm about to take a shot Yes Large Large His Asian girlfriend would get pissed. I bet Marge would take a shot. Yes. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge is going to love this. Uh-huh. You want a shot of tequila? Happy Friday.

La Gritona. Crisp Reposado. You're going to love this. It's a gentleman's Friday, Marge. A thing we thought of. I shot glass. Cheers, my brother. We get a Kix cam on him, too?

Yes. You're just chasing all of us. Want a chaser? Lemon juice? a thing we thought of. I shot glass. Cheers, my brother. Did we get a Kix cam on him, too? We, uh, yes. We just did. You're just chasing all along. Want a chaser? Lemon juice? I don't know. No, he's a man. This is, uh,

the toast is Poder es hervir porque yo se amor. To be is to serve because God is love, brother. Fantastic. Happy Gentleman's Friday. Happy Gentleman's Friday, large.

God bless. Rest in peace to Cologne. Rest in peace to Francis. That shows a death. Who else was on that show? Newman, good riddance. Julie, Julie, Stuart Binks. Zob, JSB.

Dude, I thought that I saw Stuart Binks. Say again? Yeah, dude, I thought I saw her when that lady fell off the stage and Matt Stafford's wife was wearing a backwards hat and a suit coat. I was like, dude, is that Stuart Binks? Because that was her look. That was her calling card. Wait, is Julie Stuart Binks the girl from Julie Stuart Drinks?

No, that's a whole different movie. She had that series? You see they're like pulling that girl's tweets? Yeah. Yeah. She got all her medical bills paid for. My question. So the girl fell off the stage.

Who? Have you seen the clip? From what? The Super Bowl parade. The Super Bowl celebration. She fractured her spine. Let's play that clip first, TJ, if we have the possibility. She fell off the stage and Matt Stafford just bailed out.

Wait, time. So you're saying they're paying her medical bills and because she's getting free medical bills, we're now pulling her tweets? Yes. Not we. It was some. Oh, they're. It was someone searching for bad tweets. Trigger words, and then they were all there. The thing is, like...

They're not words that sound just like trigger. Can we cancel the people for typing in that word to find it? So, imagine, like, laying in bed. That's a Stuart Binks look. Wait, run it back. Run it back. And Stafford Bales. What the hell? Where'd she go? She fell off the stage. She fell, like, ten feet. To a run it back. Run it back. And Stafford bails. What the hell?

Where'd she go? She fell off the stage. Well, like 10 feet. To a pit? She's off that stage. You see that little stage that he's indicating? Probably about 8 feet. She fractured her spine?

Yeah. He doesn't know how to fall. How does that work? What's the severity of that injury? Stafford's bad. Sounds pretty bad. She looks like she just lost on the weakest link. Yeah, or like wipeout when it just falls out from under you.

Yeah, she got wipeouted. Look at this. It's out of nowhere. I think she's all right. She did complain more about breaking her cameras as like the expense factor. And then that's a Stuart Binks look. And then Stuart Binks comes over. Stafford bailed, and he felt bad.

And so he's like, you know what? I'm going to pay for her medical bills because he felt so guilty over it. That's Stafford's wife, right? Yeah. And I think for a little bit, he was having, like, it almost ruined his Super Bowl, because so many people were like, look at him just walking away,

like, I can't believe he fucking did that. And he probably felt a little bit shitty over it. He had already fallen. What could he do? It is a little weird. No, he was fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, he was drinking 1942 out of the bottle,

just chugging it. But then, you know, he could probably feel better about it. But do you think he's still going to pay the medical bills now that it's in a tough spot? What did she tweet? Some anti-Asian stuff. And the N-word a few times. Couldn't stop. It was

2013. Was it different back then? Was it fucking problem lyrics? Because I know some boys who did that and they're the least racist human being. You're my N-word, my N-word, N-word, N-word. I love bad, bad, that's my problem. I still think that's one of the best songs ever. Dude, it wasn't great.

Almost every person I know used the N-word in a Bobby Shmurda Instagram caption. Also, the way that quote tweets were designed back then, you literally had to quote someone else's thing and put LOL after it. I thought that didn't count. The retweet function? Huh? No, that doesn't count. That doesn't count if you quote somebody. They have some of those.

I mean, that's also how we got Mooj. I got a DM one time from someone because I retweeted a tweet with the N-word in it, and they were like, Bro, this is a terrible look for you. I was like, what? Did you apologize? No. I said, go fuck yourself. Oh, I still need to respond to a DM, a mean one. I just don't have any. You want to do it right now?

You don't have any? Wish I could. You don't have any? You don't have your DMs open. I don't know. I get some of your... People send me messages to send to you. Forward on to you. To me, yeah. Brandon, how does that make you feel seeing Large take that shot?

Large is much more of a man than I am. Yeah. After you threw the glass across the room. I believe that beforehand. I believe that now. He also has gout, though. He does. That's the disease of kings.

With a stacked wife, do real men like that intimidate you? As a man with a stacked wife. Doesn't that make you – because you watched The Last Duel, right? I did. That's basically the premise. Like one man can take a tequila shot, the other one can't, and the guy who can take it fucks the wife, maybe against her will. My wife is an SJW.

She's a stacked, juicy wife. Right? I hate these SJW. She's a stacked, juicy wife. Right? I hate these SJWs. I love SJWs, man. Is she getting mad about this? She doesn't know. Okay. She doesn't know.

I hope she doesn't find out. By all means, let's proceed. She's smiling because she knows. She knows. Does anyone in the family watch? She watches occasionally, but not often. Tommy watches sometimes. Does she watch out of obligation?

Does she feel like she has to keep tabs on you? Or does she watch because it's funny? She wants to know what I'm up to. Yeah. Give me like, do impersonate how you think she would react upon hearing Nick calling her stacked and juicy. Her face. Watching at home, what would she do? She would disapprove. She was like, that's just not

appropriate to say. But she wouldn't deny. She's alone in her room watching on her phone. If she's alone, I don't know why she would react at all. But she would disapprove. But would she deny? Three times before the cock crows? Yeah. Disapprove. But would she deny? Three times before the cock crows?

I love this biblical shit. I fucking love the biblical shit, bro. Doubting Thomas over here. I know. Doubting Thomas. Doesn't think his wife would like that. Holy fuck. What'd she think about you saying, opening up the show, saying you got so much pussy in la she would think i was joking exactly i mean that but those other broads couldn't understand

the suspension of belief wasn't there for them they it just sounded realistic i don't know if i like the the wife i don't know if i'm extremely comfortable with that. But it is your fault for marrying somebody so... Why didn't you link up with a beast? You could have easily landed a beast. Captain Ahab. There were plenty of beasts. Grendel, perhaps. Or no, Grendel's monster.

But regardless, I forget how Beowulf goes. Is it Beowulf's monster or is Grendel the name of the monster? I think you're confusing with Frankenstein, right? Shelly and the Killa, bro. Beowulf was a true monster. The Killa fucking had me feeling warm right now. Shout Mary Shelly.

Angelina Jolie's CGI coming out of that pool. She would just want me to shut the fuck up. Who's the wife in The Shining? Nicholson. Olsen The Shining Nicholson Olsen Nicholson is he's the bridegroom off it off it I'm fucking told bro

she would just want you to not to not be uh she would want me to not bring up her again yes no it's fine I don't care what y'all do there's just a lot of reminders. What are the reminders? Every time I think about her is a reminder.

You might have to beat Nick's ass. I think you might. Before this show is done. You're the only one that's ever met her. I met her. I met her. Did you meet her? Definitely all in that room.

I think we've all met her. Really? Yeah. A bunch of times. I didn't think you were here when I brought her in. Mm-mm. I met her twice Really? Yeah. A bunch of time. I didn't think you were here when I brought her in. Mm-mm. You weren't. I met her twice, actually.

Okay. My ear... I brought her in on fuck night once. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to get a big... And then you brung in leftover steak afterwards. Uh-huh.

You, like, fed the steak to us like we were, like, Rottweilers that were your guard dogs. You did. Just tossed us a slab of steak. Owen has the upper hand right now. Why? Why? Sober. Yeah. Yeah has the upper hand right now. Why? Sober. Yeah. Don't call it

sober. Owen's off the shoes. I wish I could have tequila. Looks fun. Yeah, bro. Trust me, bro. Feeling warm? I feel pretty good. How are you, Brandon? I'm fine. Are you? Yeah. I feel good.

It's crazy how just two drinks do it. But then you go out on the town over a whole night. Depends. It's all environmentally dependent. Nick, put on that documentary quick. Which one? ABV1.

What? You've been telling me about this every day for like a week, about the people who drink one to two drinks. Oh, that's not a documentary. That's a movie. That's a film. Dutch film. It's a Mads Mikkelsen. Oh, wait. Is that that? I saw that's a movie that's a film dutch film mads

mads mickelson oh wait is that that i saw that on the plane another round yeah on the plane too but i never have i've never it wasn't in english right no it wasn't yeah that's why i started it and then for me yeah what am i about to read i'm trying to read a movie right now yeah read a screenplay yeah fuck that but i'm interested in the premise. The premise is interesting. 0.06? 0.05 to 0.08, I think, is the best a man can be. Okay, so we're probably all at 0.04. Yeah.

So should we... You guys probably just need one more. Should we be our best? We probably should be at our best. It's 42 already, dude. We're flying through this. We're going to do a longer... Yeah, let's do a longer show.

How do they feel? They are better at their jobs. They're better romantically with their wives. They're better... Socially. Yeah, socially. I've tried this. It's not sustainable.

One of them dies. Oh, really? How? Out on a boat. I think he... I don't want to... Watch the movie. He brings his dog with him.

Dog kills him? That's right. He gets mauled. Damn. That'd be perfect for a dog. What are these people with big-ass cats doing? Bark maul.

Yeah, Maine Coons. Yuck. What word? What word did you say? That's what Francis always says about his... Yeah. Shit.

Or I just see them on TikTok, and they're just, like, fucking prancing around the house, like, smacking a balloon around. When is one of them going to fucking rip a jugular off? Why are they so much more peaceful than... They do rip jugulars, or is that just... No, but it's, like, a common thing that people try and, like, domesticate wild animals, and then they, like, end up getting killed by them.

Several cats and shit like that? Yeah. Grizzly man? He wasn't trying to domesticate. Well, he was just getting too close to the bears. I had a fifth grade teacher whose house was filled with birds, hamsters, everything. It was a pet store. Those are like the worst two pets. They'll never love you.

It's gross. And you'd think that the birds would hunt the hamsters at some point. Yeah, I think they did. She had a lot of dead animals in her house. She was removed from the school. How narcissistic is it

to want a pet just so they can love you instead of just enjoying the animal? You just debunk dog ownership? Yes. You get it for companionship.

I'm a cat guy. Cats suck. You're kind of similar to a cat. Cats are awesome too. My cat Piper and I had the same guy. Cats suck. You're kind of similar to a cat. I disagree. Cats are awesome too. My cat Piper and I had the same personality. You guys just hate each other? We did.

Y'all were gay together? Do our own thing. Oh, you had a gay cat. How is your personality the same as Piper's? Every Friday, Jake Malasek and Big T just throw that football back and forth for like six hours straight. Yeah. Discuss OAN. I know.

There's a fun fact about Malasek that I heard, but it's not like fun enough to mention. Big T take a shot? I think he will. He drinks. Give us the fun fact and then let's get. Oh, he's taking a shit right now. Yeah, he drinks a lot.

Oh, no, he got tired. Malasek is the starting goalie for the Czech national lacrosse team. Yeah. Barring that they are a team at lacrosse to the Olympics. He'll be in the 2028 Olympics. 28? He'll be too old for that, but he said he wants the Olympic ring tattoos. But if there's a better goalie out there with Czech in your blood,

be sure to try out. There's also tons of loopholes. You don't have to be fully checked. Look into it. It's... You can play. Mike Piazza used to play baseball for Italy's team. There's a lot of American wrestlers like Miles Amine or whatever his name is. He was a

bronze medalist for San Marino. He's never... Is San Marino like a small-ass island nation or something? How small is San Marino? It's a micro-state, but you can just, if your relatives lived there ever, you can be an Olympian. One of the winter Olympians. If you're Jewish, you're allowed to play on a Chinese medal, right? Eileen Gu is?

Yeah, she won three medals for China. Have you guys watched any of the Olympics this winter? Not a single clip. The least I've ever watched. I've been watching them a lot. I don't care about winter. I watch the clips every morning. Same.

What have you seen? I'm big into the freestyle skiing. I used to be super into it, so I know all the dudes. Who's one of them? Well, the big three this year were Alex Hall, Nick Gepper, and Jasper DeJader. For real? Jasper DeJader? I forgot how to pronounce his name, but he's like Switzerland. He's from Switzerland, I think. You really ski like that? Boy de Jader. For real? Jasper de Jader? I forgot how to pronounce his name, but he's not.

He's like Switzerland. He's from Switzerland, I think. Swiss. You really ski like that? Boy, Jester. No. I was just super into it when I was in high school. Why?

What did you agree to it? I think Nick Gepper won gold last time. You were on the ski team, right? Yeah. There was the new kid in the half pipe or whatever, the young Japanese kid is fucking insane. Oh, the snowboarder? Yeah.

Did you see that shit? He's been running it for a while, though. I thought he was like 15. I think he was in the Olympics when he was like 10 or some shit. Sean White hung it up. Yeah. That's some SSX tricky shit, because you watch Sean White,

and you realize how much better this 15-year-old kid is than him. He's doing so much more shit, so much more cleanly. At Sean's prime? I think so. I think the sport's just evolved. He can just fucking... I get that. I feel bad for really, really young prodigies

because there's no way they have good childhoods. Like the 15-year-old... No, kids like that are just training constantly. Even like the... Not even the great ones. Yeah. If you're just... Are you making this about you?

Especially at a, no, but like, you see all these fucking, there's high schools now that are just for athletes. Yeah. Plate academies, Link Academy.

There's nothing that's stupid as hell that's just ruining childhood. There's like an Olympics high school in like, yeah. They're everywhere. Where you just like, go to school to learn

a specific skiing routine. Kanye opened to school to yeah there's like specific skiing routine yeah Kanye opened a school to start his own basketball team there's like K-pop Kanye's also

in Korea now where they like get the hottest kids and grow them K-pop schools yeah they grow them into like K-pop bands so what happens

if you don't make it dude in LA there was like billboards for like promoting like content creation courses. Yeah. Disgusting.

Smart to sell that is smart, though, to teach the course, to have just people coming in and teaching them knowledge you can find just scrolling through TikTok. Yeah, because you could get well-paying jobs to tell people how to do TikTok. Absolutely.

Oh, yeah. The thing is, you don't have to do TikTok. Yeah, you see it on TikTok. You absolutely can. Oh, yeah. The thing is, you don't have to do TikTok. Yeah, you see it on TikTok. Those who can't do teach. Yeah, those who can't do teach. There's that old phrase. Brandon, are you sauteed right now? Are you in fucking withdrawal?

What's going on right now? You're fucking popping your leg. I haven't said anything. You whispered to me. You said, I want a hamburger. Ooh. And that is true. I texted you last night and said I wanted a hamburger. Ooh. And that is true. I texted you last night and said I wanted a hamburger.

You did. This is a pre-existing condition. No, that's just like a hello to you. Every single night you text me, you want a hamburger. You left me a voice memo, I want to dance. You can dance. You want to dance? Go ahead, bro.

Dance. Nobody's holding you back, really. Dance like nobody's watching right now. I look old as fuck. No, you don't. No, you don't. Oh, dude, you're freaking out. Of course.

Look at that screen. Look at that screen. Look at the middle screen. See, you look better. That's a small screen. I can't see it. Oh, it's the color is different on this screen. You need your beard back.

Are you high? Yeah, you're acting like you're high. I'm just like, look old. I'm psychedelic. No, the green balance on that. Because you're running with the young bucks. You're concerned. You're confused.

You look old at all. Give him something else. Temper that with another with the young bucks. You're confused. You're going to do another round. Give him something else. Temper that with another shot. I'm not doing another shot. Tequila makes you younger. I'm not doing another shot. You want to even out? You need some coke.

Zah, do you have coke? Why did we all get... I didn't see TJ. TJ was out of view. Is this right, Free? I like this if it is. Oh. What is that with Adam?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drug deal, drug deal, drug deal. Drug deal cam. TJ, pull up drug deal cam. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah. All right, time to get to the fun episode. You could just stream all night.

Yeah. Just get like super fucked up. We're not even talking. This is on mics by the end. No, let's go another audio halfway through. Yeah. You should watch as long as you want. You should bring in a guest shot, though.

Guest shot for this. I'm going to grab someone to come as your tribute. Yeah, you got to walk. Brandon, brother. Jesus, you're struggling. He's about to be walking this off. Grab my drink. Oh, what language is this?

Is this pop? Slav pop? Sounds like a hairy woman. She has the voice of a hairier woman. You could tell she has four nipples. Yeah, you kind of can. Four? She's using every single one of them.

You got a nipple as her unibrow. Where's your shot glass, KB? Where is it? We're about to run out of this Gritona, bro. Where's your shot glass, KB? Where is it? We're about to run out of this Gritona, bro. This shit goes down soon. Punishments weren't that fun, so we were talking about maybe a retreat week where we all just go to a cabin,

maybe even a spa, and just kind of get right. And we're in great moods for the Yak every day. We go four-wheeling or ride ATVs? Wait, we're auto-riding? No. Not whitewater. Oh, I thought you were trying to find it with your outdoors.

I want to toast mallows. Any team building? I want Nick to tell a scary story. I got him. He's got him. Got him in spades. Oh, God? Yeah, I told a scary story at Reap.

Why don't we just go today? Well, yeah, we were forced to tell a scary story. Yeah, but I made Reap end a day early with my scary story. No, you didn't. I told a story about a thing called the White Cipher. Oh, no, you've told me. Dude, save this for the trip. It's fucked up.

You want to tell it? Wait, is that just when the white dudes are rapping? No, no, no. I tried to think of a scary word. Let's drive up to upstate New York today after the show. I want to go of a scary word. Let's drive up to upstate New York today. I want to go to Philly Sunday. That's not really what I'm looking for. Quite the opposite.

Fuck yes. You know what? Plug the show. All of us at once. Yes. You're going to give them FOMO. What's Barstool Sports merch? How do you get there?

BarstoolSportsStore.com Or Store.BarstoolSports Ma'am, miss Now Trisha's not wearing the other one That comes in white as well It comes in white and black And it comes in green for St. Patrick's Day Yeah, but plug that cool shirt you have

How many people did you get? I didn't get Pat I didn't Hey, come in here You got anything tonight? Upshot time Oh, here, I'll move No, no, no, no, no It's fine, it's fine, it's fine It's fine Hey, come in here. You got anything tonight? Up shot time. Oh, here, I'll move.

No, no, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I'm going to sit next to this ass. And I can put a restraining order on kids. With this homophobic ass. You have a live show with Snooki tonight.

I do tonight. If you're not doing anything, come over to the Gramercy Theater. We're on 23rd Street. I think it's already sold out, my friend. Hey, can you toss me that chocolate? You're probably like homeless people selling stuff. Can I pour you one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I get a bootleg tea of you outside? Yeah, for sure. Yeah? Okay. You sign titties? Is it? Oh, it's signed titties. I have, yeah.

Are you going to tonight? Yeah, I'm sure. Patty, let the people at home know it's not that green. Oh, wow. What the fuck? Someone green screen something on it. It's darker. Somebody green screen something on Pat.

Start passing these down, Joey. Yep. Oh, there we go. Oh. We got crazy tech. I love tequila. Yeah? Tequila?

Yeah, you guys want some? What does it do to your clothes? Fri-yay. You gotta square this. Boys and girls? Can I take it out? You are. Pass it down to you.

Take one down, pass it around. Take one down, pass it around. Father Patrick, mother. Also, everybody watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm pumped to watch it. Are you in that? Keep on passing them.

Keep on passing them. Eight plays the chainsaw. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah. I don't believe that, but what do you... She was the voice actor for the saw. Well, you know, this is my second time on the act.

I filled in for you guys last week. What does 10 times mean? 10X. 10X. 10X. You need to live your life 10X. You want to go out for a night and get a cock? Fuck that. Go get 10 cocks.

Or. It's not like full send. Exactly like full send. Full throttle. You want to go out and you want to get an 8-inch throat, right? What if I told you you'd get an 80-inch? Yeah. I want the 80-inch.

You want the 80-inch. Do the upgrade. We all do. So 10 plus. 10 times. Yeah. It want the 80-inch. You want the 80-inch. I'd like to do the upgrade. We all do. So 10 plus, 10 times. Yeah, it's just bigger goals, bigger dreams. 10 times. Ron, your success. Are you doing one, Brandon?

Brandon, there is one. Brandon. Brandon, throw it over the shoulder. I'll just take it from the bottle. No, no, no, here. You know a toast bag. What? You know a toast bag. What? You know a toast.

Here's to the loose women. You're gagged when you said that. Can you pass me that? I don't really know any toast. Do you think the famous one is like, here's to the loose women. If you can't come in, come honor or something. Here's to my honor, your honor, our honor. If you can't come in here, come on in.

There it is. That's what they say. Cheers, everyone. They came in here with a baby. I look hot today. Hello. Yeah, you do. Should I wear this on stage? You look like Big Cat today. Your proportions looked interesting. Go back. You look like Big hot today. Hello. Yeah, you do. Should I wear this on stage? You look like Big Cat today. Your proportions looked interesting. Go back.

You look like Big Cat today. Why do you look so much bigger than Nick? This is lanky. Nick, you look jacked right there. No, put your legs back the way they were. His me? Yeah. I'm looking at his thighs specifically.

That's the best you've ever looked what you just did. Don't put your hands down. Would you have something nice to say to me, Trish? You look great as well. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. Oh, you're welcome. No, no, no.

He was just thanking me. We're extending the show. We're doing a long show today. Are we? Long, strong, and down to get the friction on, boys. That type of shit. Who normally sits here today? Brandon.

You're sitting in my seat. He's up there then. He does. Brandon thinks he looks old Who's missing? Big Cat Big Cat Freaking out Big Cat You look more like

Big Cat or Jersey Jerry I'm a They call him Gay Cat Online I think my face Is more Big Cat And my body And my

Chin Gay stuff's more Jersey Jerry And your vibes are like KB Yeah You are similar Tell us about The show tonight I want to know What we're going to be Getting at the show tonight Well you're going to be show tonight. I want to know what we're going to be getting

at the show tonight. Well, you're going to be getting it's me and Snoopy, and we're going to be on stage performing. Snoopy? What are close friends call her? And we do, so we're going to kick off the show with just a welcome and do a little old history. We do lots of fan interactions and games. We're doing a dating game. I'm looking for love tonight.

So if there's any like-minded gentlemen who want to come out to the Gramsci Theater, maybe get an H-J. Maybe if I go full 10, what is it called? 10-X. 10-X, you know. I'll be bug chasing, okay? Oh, God. Bug chasing? Wait, what bug are you talking about? That's you trying to collect STDs. Truvada for prep?

He's not on prep. No, I'm not on prep. But yeah, bug chasing. Why? How would you not just be on prep? I'm not on prep. My doctor won't give it to me because I'm not sexually active and I'm old. He goes, you're going to ruin your liver. That's a lie. Wait, prep ruins your liver? Conventionally, probably. But it's better than the alternative.

Full-blown AIDS? Full-blown. No, didn't they just get a cure for AIDS like two days ago? They just cured it yesterday, so it's fine. They literally just cured it. For real? They cured a lady in South Africa. She had AIDS, or I think she had HIV, and now she doesn't anymore. Allegedly. That's pretty far.

All she has to do is erase everything on your chart, and then you don't have it anymore. I don't think Magic Johnson ever had HIV. Whoa, that's a three-shot deep take. You slept with EJ Johnson, correct? Did what? You slept with EJ Johnson. Tried to, yeah. What?

He's got DSL. Why'd you say I tried to, yeah? Like, you did. I saw him in some weird fashion thing on the Upper East Side, and I tried to sleep with him, but he didn't want any part of me. Really? That's all I'm going to say. Your answer should have been, no, but I tried to.

Right. So you tried to sleep with EJ Johnson, then me? I've tried to sleep with Sidney Sweeney. Yeah. Sidney Sweeney, who's that? I never did. God. Is that the blonde in you four?

Yes. You know who Sidney Sweeney is. That didn't make you did. Is that the blonde in you four? Yes. You know who Sidney Sweeney is. That didn't make you boys just question your homosexuality when you saw her with her. I bang her out. She's a blonde SJW. Stack Juicy Woman. Is SJW? A Stack Juicy Woman.

Oh, yeah. Stack Juicy Woman. With full-blown AIDS. That was my nickname in college. Full-blown AIDS. Stack Juicy Woman with full-blown AIDS. Oh, here comes full-blown AIDS. You're a fool.

You like to blow. I can't afford college. Why are these men, are they embroidered? They are embroidered. I'm glad you brought that up, Ron. What the fuck? That's a triple and reinforced stitch here. Okay, so you'll take a lick of it and keep on ticking.

You can put these through the wash. This thing is, it's actually bulletproof right here. So you can shoot yourself in the chest in this right here. Especially during St. Patrick's Day with all the crime. Sass is furious over in the corner. All those drunk micks hanging out. We're making plans. Apex.

What are your plans for the evening, Sass? Video games on Palm. You're not going to be at the Westboro Baptist Church outside my show picketing? Hello. God hates fags. I can finish that. I can't. I'm actually pretty

Booked up tonight But do you see That they have these Embroidered sweatshirts Like we've been asking For embroidered sweatshirts Forever Yeah I would

If we had something That looked as good as that Those sweatshirts Look so damn good Oh I'll wear the black one Definitely Well That looks fun

I would Incredible Alright we'll get you one We need a box of MAM shirts. We'll get them. We need some MAM, or at least to be in the MAM promo videos or whatever you guys are. You guys make a full-blown AIDS shirt embroidered? Yeah.

Would you wear it? I would definitely. Do you mean an accurate shirt? I would love it. Like an FBI? Like an FBI, like a female body inspector shirt, but it's just full-blown AIDS. I want it to be like an FBI jacket, but it says FBA on the back instead of... That is genius.

That is fucking smart as hell. So where's the show tonight? Gramercy Theater. There's no live stream? Can we watch it? Or is there going to be a video after the fact? We're doing a video. We're going to do a video after the fact.

It's behind the scenes. Is she going to be on stage? Trish? No, Trish is going to be in a very secret part of the show. It's a surprise. She can't bring it up yet. There's a surprise performance by Trish. Say less.

I will be topless. Shut up. Now, does Snooki have any bad blood against Pat for stealing you away? No, they met at my birthday party. He had bad blood against both of us because he got jealous. I don't like my friends to be friends. Do you guys like when your friends are friends? Yes.

Like separate groups? Oh, I don't. It's always like a weird. I hate it. A natural feeling be friends. Do you guys like when your friends are friends? Yes. Like from separate groups? Oh, I don't. It's always like a weird unnatural feeling. Because they're talking shit about you. You know that they're talking about you. You're a jealous bitch. Oh, completely. Yeah. I'm crazy. I had to have an intervention for Joey. He was getting so jealous. I was like, listen.

Fucking relax. We need to fucking relax. We had a full-blown, like, it was like a lot. When I was jealous of the other guys you were hanging out with? Yeah. I would hang, I would like be with someone. He lies. He says I'm like a college roommate. I said jealous of the other guys you were hanging out with? Yeah. I would like be with someone. He lies. He says I'm a college roommate. I said, oh, you just happened to fuck your college roommate and now you're just a friend from college? I don't.

The thing is, you want to have sex with EJ Johnson, but you don't want to have sex with me. I'm not going to have sex with you, Joey. Stop. Okay. He has sex with me. Who does? KB? Yeah, but KB wears a mask when he does it.

Wait, you guys are actually gay? Mask from Scream. I thought that was like a bait. It's going to be a lot of fun. It's going to be boozy. There's going to be a lot of... A bliss I heard is going to be front row. Publicity is already trying to make it about her. She's doing a work in the coat check.

That's why I brought her. Ripping tags. She's doing a work in the coat check, and then afterwards, she's going to be sweeping up in between the... Oh, the squeegee Squeegee in the floor The boy's gonna be

Coming at the show She's gonna be Riding the Zamboni around Are you guys gonna have More like straight women At your show Or more straight If straight guys wanna go

This is a great place To pick up women Are you being For real It's 95% women Really The other 1% Is publicity

Oh man Ma'am Let this girl live 95% women. Really? The other 1% is publicity. Oh, man. Ma'am? Let this girl live for one second. Oh, it's good. They have a good symbiotic relationship. Brandon, are you hammered right now? She doesn't watch a session.

No, not at all. Definitely not. Is it repeating on the internet? I mean, the more you hammer this home, the higher chances. Oh, we're not even live anymore. We're just talking into the mics. I know we're live. We need some advice. Brandon has felt ugly and old today.

It's because he's hanging out with a couple of young bucks. You're older than Brandon. I am. Oh, how old are you, Brandon? 42. Oh, my God. Is he only 42? You're zoinked.

I'm not. You haven't stopped aging at 30. You haven't spoken in 30 minutes. We could be like 32 or like exhibiting the 45. I was born April 13, 1979. Have you tried wood grooming? Try the eye cream.

I have tried it. You still look like that? Joey's got some small batch eye cream. Why don't we bring him in? I was talking about you earlier at the desk. I brought you a book yesterday. Did you use it? I left it on Nick's desk.

Did you use it or read it? All my kids are too young for that book. All my kids are too old for that book. How to be a father. It's father from zero to two. My youngest kid's six. You're having another if the Yak kid has a certain number of subscribers. That is right.

But I still got time. If we get our hundredth000. For 5 in 2022. We'll have a kid, and we get to choose the name. Will you allow Joey to carry? You should be Brandon Surrogate. I'll be the wet nurse. No, Joey can be the wet nurse. Yeah, I'll just rest.

I'll strap on the silicone hooters, and I'll breastfeed the baby. I think that'd be hot. That's the least you could do. I was looking for land. Would they let you have a baby? Are you buying land? Brandon's literally on Cillo right now. I have one. I just got to be hot. That's the least you could do. I was looking for land. Would they let you have a baby? Are you buying land? Brandon's literally on Zillow right now. I have one.

I just got to buy it. Brandon's been going land crazy. Where are you trying to buy? Mississippi land. Mississippi land, yeah. That's fertile-ass land. What are you getting 10 acres for? You're trying to get 100 acres, aren't you?

You're trying to get 100? Yeah, I'm trying to get 100, 200 acres, yeah. How many haas? You could get 1,000 or 2,000. Burned crosses? It's like $300. You don't burn crosses. This is the 1990s.

The first few thousand. Is it a land in Mississippi called a plantation? Yes, it is. No, it's not. No, no. Well, it's kind of on the face. No, it's not. There are old plantations in Mississippi.

I'm sure there are. There are. They actually have some new ones, too. Not earmuffs. Brandon actually cut, he had the big scissors. He opened up one. The ribbon cutting. That's a lot of land.

200 acres. 200 acres. What are you going to do with all that land? Your family already has a bunch of land. Yeah, well, that's how they got it. Why do you need more? You know what you can do with that kind of land? What?

Gravitron. If you buy that land, will you get a Gravitron? Can we get a fair on it? Can we start a county fair? Brandon Walker County Fair would be incredible. That would be great. That would be way better than the Ben Mint Smoke Shop. Should I start performing like a lounge singer?

Brandon Walker. Instead of a kissing booth, like a handjob booth, the boys can get to work. We could work the glory hole. Yeah. On both ends. Glory holes are almost exactly like confession. You're going into a dark room with a little hole in it that you're talking to. Yeah, and there's a priest always there

regardless. I went to confession yesterday. TJ, I gave you that. Oh yeah, let's play that shit. What side is the glory on in the hole? Depends on what mood you're in. I think it was choice. I never got the video wrong. Come inside. Can you say the act of contrition wrong? Uh, I don't, not that Catholic.

I know you are, though. My dog is fuck. Me? Yeah. You know, he's half Jewish. Are you? Oh, yeah. You didn't know that?

You didn't see my boy's print? I know you boys basket shop around the office. It's called bird watching. It's a gelato. It's called bird watching? That's what I call it. That sounds like something. Because you're looking at the birds. Like, you know, like, ooh, there's one there. Look at that one. Wood peckers. Yeah, peckers. So it's called bird watching? That's what I call it. That sounds like something. Because you're looking at the birds.

Like, you know, like, ooh, there's one there. Look at that one. Woodpeckers? Yeah, peckers. So it's like bird watching. Brandon's hammered. Are you fucked up right now? Do your thing, OG.

Get right. Get right. Get right. And that's Brandon. DJ, is there something I said? No, no. I think it was something you are. Is it something I said? I don't know. I think it was something you are. Is it something I am?

Was it something I am? I just did the same thing when Ebony was in the studio. It was? No, it's... He's fucked up. He's fine. He's fine. Why are you putting on the cape for Brandon right now?

Yeah. Does he need to be defended? Why does he need to take the gun? He's just in a state that I've been in before? What's the state? Two shots? I don't think it's shots.

That's like a shrooms. He's exhibiting shrooms. Yeah, I think he... Great. There was shrooms in the shots. Was there? Yeah.

A little bit of... Hallucinogenics will make you look at yourself in the mirror and just get disgusted. Yeah. That's your dysmorphia. You have that when you're sober. He has dysmorphia too, though.

But he's not getting blotchy, though. It's good for his skin, a little tequila. Brandon's getting blotchy? Oh, dude, he has rosacea like a bitch. You always lean against something and like, do I look normal right now? Yeah, your arm up against the wall type of shit. Going through it a little bit.

I like your wedding ring, Ron. You don't see a classic gold ring on guys a lot of times. You just see the black ring. People try and be new age and weird about it. I hate the black ring. The black ring is like the boxy apartment of wedding wear. You just think they're like a shortstop wearing

a rubber black ring. Nah, bro. I'm still waiting on you to accept this, TJ. It said AirDrop from Road was canceled. Joe, are you going to watch NASCAR this weekend? Yeah. Whack, bro. I used to have a client from NASCAR.

What? His name? Josh. John. Jeff Gordon. I used to do his grooming. What? Daytona 500.

Luke Combs will be there. Jeff Gordon's grooming? He sure did get in on all the action on the Barstool Sportsbook app. They were nudists. They would always be naked in the hotel rooms. Gordon? Watch it on Fox. He was hairy.

Jeff Gordon was a relatively hairy guy for NASCAR. Those guys don't get that hairy. Yeah, the speed. The one dude, Ryan Blaine. Maybe the streamline. Yeah, just shave their whole bodies for the race. How did Nair work back in the day? What was Nair?

You should do a Nair wheel. Nair wheel would be incredible. But how did it work? You just put rubbed like a deodorant on you and your hair would fall off? It liquefies the hair. That shit does not make sense. It hurts. That has to be... We could probably get a class action on it. Have you Nair'd? Yeah. Nair'd what?

When I used to be transgendered, I used to nerd everything. Wait, so you were a former trans. I beat it. Transformer. I beat it.

What do we call him? Host Optimist Prize. Amen. Host Optimist Prize. Congrats. I do that all the time. Inspiration for a lot of kids.

You're a transformer. They need to beat it. You're a trans survivor. Burn your skin. Heiration for a lot of kids that need to beat it. You're a trans survivor. Burned your skin. He used to have a glory hole set up at the Eagle on 28th and 10th. He dressed as Vicky Lake. He would have a little stool on the – I don't want to steal your glory.

You can tell the story. Patrick Glory, that's a good wrestler. He might win the NCAA. He's at 125 this year now that Spencer leaves. Wait, show him the picture you were trying to show him earlier. I'm talking to you, Joey. What? You were trying to show him earlier. I'm talking to you, Joey. You were trying to show KB a picture earlier of the wrestler.

I don't have my phone on me. Let's put money on Patrick Glory. I think he's a title contender. Montana Cowboy was the account? Wrestling in the Olympics? The first sport in the Olympics. It might be the first ever sport. Hell no. Yeah, because it's like. It might be the first ever sport. Hell no.

Yeah, because it's like Grecian. Slope-style skiing was the first. Half-pipe. I thought the Summer Olympics sucked. I didn't realize Shaw was the first white skier. What? You see China is trying to claim skiing. They said they invented skiing.

Chopsticks kind of are like... I guess so. Maybe fireworks. I think the skiing out in fireworks isn't an Olympic sport, unfortunately. That would be awesome. I know. Kyoto?

Yeah. Kyoto is really nice. You fuck with Phoebe Bridgers? No. Dude, I went to... Oh, that song is incredible. It's a good-ass song. Her whole album.

Snail Mail? Her whole album is incredible. Let's get somebody-ass song. Her whole album. Snail Mail. Her whole album is incredible. Let's get somebody that actually has to do work to do a shot. If you like Phoebe Brady, you can't fuck with Snail Mail. Stanko wants a shot. Does Stanko want a shot? All right, Stanko. Stanko's already...

Stanko. Oh, no. Get in here, Stanko. Stanko's already hammered. You have a secret... Wait, do y'all like KC Musgraves? I do I'm working on

Tons of her talking about this At my family dinner last night Come sit here I couldn't pick her up Out of a lineup Oh really? We thought she was a gay icon I thought she was too

Yeah Thank you Joey Thank you Joey Huh? Musgraves? Musgraves I thought was a gay icon Couldn't pick her out of a lineup But Gus Graves bro

She's blonde She's a singer No She's brown hair bro Brunette Graves, bro? She's blonde. She's a singer. I think she's brown hair, bro. Brunette. Amity is jet black. She's brown, bro. She's cis. Oh, she's cis-het.

Got it. But her boyfriend, her new boyfriend. T? Not a white guy. Not a white guy. Pretty sweet. Thank you. Poor one out for Rustin Kelly.

Poor Rustin. No, he got a girl that looks exactly like her. Really? Yeah, but a little younger. But for her, it wasn't about the looks. I fucking love men. For Rustin. No, he got a girl that looks exactly like her. Really? Yeah, but a little younger. But for her it wasn't about the looks. I fucking love men. For Rustin. The lead just keeps growing. Where are we up?

Residentially? Pass that other shot. I think we're up 56. Pass them back around. I don't want any more. Who's got the rock? Why do I have to have one and you don't? I did three, bitch. Sorry. I didn't know that.

I did three, you horrible bitch. Zanko. Nick just caught a... Damn. Yeah, I think I... That's actually good. Isn't that nice? A nice reposado?

I get it very easily. He's good. He's good. The cross country... The track and cross country guys were always they got fucked up the most efficiently when I was in college.

Because we just burn calories nonstop so it's really it's easy to get we're a very cheap date. You're a track guy? What event? I didn't do it in college

I did it post college. Oh. Did you ever say the sentence your punishment is my sport? Yeah. No I never did.

Your sports punishment is what? My warm-up or something. Or what was it? Fergie, it was something. Watching you guys do the 5K was very funny. Or the mile. No, no, no. It was very funny.

Very much enjoyable for me. I don't think I could run a 5K right now if someone paid me. Dude, did you... Pat, did you watch us play basketball? Because you're probably the best basketball player in the entire office. Saw Sass tearing it, which isn't saying much, but I saw Sass tearing it up. You guys look great.

You look very comfortable. You posted the worst clip of me. I was a baller. I won the first game. What were the teams? He passed you the ball. I was 21. Full court 21. Yeah, you did. Every man for himself, yeah. No, full court won. Full court just to one point. I have a lot of dudes reaching out, like, you did. Every man for himself, yeah. Or full court one. Full court just to one point.

I have a lot of dudes reaching out, like asking me for a lesson. I had my lesson yesterday. Some guy. You had yours? Yeah, I had a basketball lesson at Chelsea Pier yesterday. From who? This came and saw me at Chelsea Pier. I'm paying him $200 an hour.

Isn't that where he plays in the All Gay League? Yeah, these guys came and saw me play. They supported me at Chelsea Piers. Yeah, we did. It was beautiful. Did you instruct her from his league? No, it was... We forfeited because the other team didn't even show up.

It was a guy that played in college, and then he played in Europe for a while. And then, yeah, he's my solo basketball trainer. It's like the plot of Full Court Miracle. I've never seen that. Really? Disney Channel original movie where the Jewish school wins the championship?

No way. It's called a miracle that the Jewish school wins the championship. No way. It's called a miracle that the Jewish school wins the championship? Yeah. The Jewish kids go to a park one day, and they're just bricking threes, and then all of a sudden this black guy who played basketball in Europe comes up, he's like, let me show you something. Wait, really?

And then they win the state championship in the middle of Hanukkah. It's the story of the black Israelites. Let's go. Oh, sass! Oh, cause then Roan hurt me. Oh! Oh! Oh, what the fuck?

Your knees bent like that? You crossed yourself up? That's how Roan hurt me. It actually hurt my foot a lot. You still doing those women's core classes, Roan? Can't tell. I can tell, I just- I see the glow about you. I haven't seen the core I swear to god

The power goes out I have a core reveal In about two minutes The last two minutes Of the state championship Using menorah lights Oh shut up In the gym

Hey can we pull up Full court miracle final scene Jay's good though His ass is good The double rim Is what fucked me Some inner city shit Yeah

Some north philly shit. North Philly, get it in. You need another one, Stanko? No. I'm going to take one more. Stanko, one more. Half. I would appreciate that.

I tell Pete. Oh, it's about Pete. Jesus Christ. I'm just protecting myself here. Just because Pete has a drink. Yeah, probably. So he'd be fine with one, but not with two. I wasn't going to tell him about the one.

Is Pete here? You got to tell him about the two, though. He controls what goes in your body. That's going too far. That's how they're running it back there? It's like fucking Texas. They're telling you what to do with your body. That is some Texas shit.

We're skipping to the last ten seconds. This is you, Sass? Spoiler alert. This is Sass' all-Jewish school. Is that Nick? What are they handing out? Bro, Jewish people love fabric. They do.

They love textiles. They do. Oh, he was kind of the zany one of the whole movie. Well, they really nailed the casting. Oh, fuck. Are they dancing during the film? Look at it. It's Nick.

They all have Jordans. I was in this fucking movie. This is the movie? What? Is it a musical? Well, guess which character showed him this movie. Oh, they're going. Oh, my God.

High school musical. It's a Weinstein production? Yes. Heard there were free throws. There we go. Beat his ass, ass. Well, my boy has a tiny ass yarmulke. That is tiny. They didn't wear them while they were playing? That's how they did it, ass. My boy has a tiny-ass yarmulke.

That is tiny. They had to wear them while they were playing? That's how they did it, bro. This was a Kobe logo. You're going to lose the magic, probably. People do, or that's one of the coolest things about Judaism, is, like, you can style your yarmulkes. Wait, this is amazing. I'm telling you guys, this movie rules.

How did we not watch this? There's a college team like this right now that's playing. Yeshiva, yeah. They review this on Lights, Camera, Pod? I don't think so. You should do a watch-along. Yeah, I need to watch that full. I'm going to watch that this weekend.

You guys are welcome to do that. Wait, what was it? So there were two other Disney Channel movies about basketball. Luck of the Irish. Luck of the Irish. Luck of the Irish was he gets home from school. Luck of the Irish is a good ass movie. He gets home from school one day and his parents break down crying and they're like, you're Irish. Yeah gets home from school. He's walking the Irish to good ass. He gets home from school one day. That's a good ass movie. His parents break down crying

and they're like, you're Irish. Yeah, that was it. Oh, he's a leprechaun. But they break it to him by telling him he's Irish. You never knew he was Irish. His puberty is like

turning up. Shut up, mom. Shut the fuck up, mom. No, I'm not. The Irish are notoriously late to puberty. But then they're Jews are notoriously early.

Italians are early. Then there's also Greeks are early. The Greeks are born early Italians are early Greeks are early The Greeks are born Italians are 5'8 from 4th grade to death Go off, Kang They also have the same portioned meals their whole life

Too much spaghetti Spaghetti and milk When they're young, they have milk to drink with it, but then they grow out of it. Watching Tony Soprano's evolution as a glutton on the show, it makes sense that he died young. Yeah. He had to actually eat that.

I went to a full Sunday dinner at my childhood best friend's every Sunday, like full Italian, and they just called me the Irish shithead. I was a big fan of the Italian culture, and now that I'm removed from it, I don't think I am. Well, you realize how gross it is once you're out of it. Yeah. Dante's gonna whip your ass. Dante the Don does not fuck with that.

He does not. Dante the Don gets mad? Did you see Ken Jack's thread? Ken Jack had a rejected St. Patrick's Day shirt. I would have bought a thousand of them. It was great. And then Fante's had a good reply. No, no, no. I thought he was kidding, though. This one's for Pete. I would have bought a thousand of them. It was great. And then Fonty Scott. I thought he was kidding though. This one's for Pete. This one's for Pete?

He should be the one to drink it. No, we're toasting to him. And so everyone should do one then. You can't do a toast with just one person. You can do a single toast. You want some lemon juice? There's also the other Disney Channel movie where the women play basketball. There's that one scene where she's like taking her move.

Oh, that's horrible. She just like pump fakes back and forth. That's called double teamed. Yep. Yeah, it is. Disney Channel original movies rule. They were so bad. Yeah, but they're so bad, they're good.

And I have a login if anyone needs it. Wasn't there a girl that pretended to be a guy? Oh, that was, what was her name? Anna something? Bynes? Amanda Bynes. Respect Amanda Bynes. She's the man.

She pretended to be trans. It was not Disney Channel original. You don't have to pretend to be trans if you were just doing it. Well, that's what it is. So she's the man, you said? She was like tea presenting. Was that Young Channing Tatum? No, it was, who was it?

I don't fucking know. Gosh, God. Oh, wait. Are you talking about, yeah, that was Amanda Bynes. She's the man. I would love that. She goes and plays soccer. Yeah.

Amanda Bynes was really hot to me when I was really young. I think she's a hot girl. But then she got crazy, though. It was a sexual awakening, if I recall correctly. Amanda Bynes? Can we pull up a picture of her? And Ren from Even Stevens. Those were like sexual awakening if I recall correctly. Amanda Bynes? Can we pull up a picture? And Ren from Even Stevens. Those were like my two

like apex predator hotties. Ren was sexy. Oh, that Amanda Bynes? That was peak Amanda Bynes. Mine was Ren and Eliza Thornberry's older sister.

Olga Pataki. You didn't like Nigel Thornberry? No, no, my older sister. Ron, you didn't like Tony?

Tony. It's Tony. Yeah, she was an alt girl. Oh yeah. Wait, from Hillary Duff? From Even Stevens. Oh no, not the sister like Tawny? Tawny. It's Tawny. Yeah, she was an alt girl. Oh, yeah. Wait, from Hilary Duff? From Even Stevens.

Oh, no. Not the sister. The love interest. I was Ren, bro. Hilary Duff is still one of one. No, no, no. I'm talking about Miranda from Hilary Duff. She wasn't it.

I can't picture Amanda Bynes. She was all that. She was essentially a creative sketch of us. Yeah, she went nutty. Opened up the mail. Can you pull up a picture of her? Moody's Point was hilarious. Moody's Point was funny.

And she was funny on all that. Like, I would wait for all that like it was Saturday Night Live. Yeah, I was watching that the other day. It was probably funnier than... What were you watching? All that. And was it... I got, like, a Paramount subscription for a week.

It's got a bunch of random shit. Oh. You're not going to cancel it? No. Yeah. Those are two bad bunch of random shit. Oh. You're not going to cancel it? No. Yeah. Those are two bad pictures of her. Yeah. She was the last child star

to publicly have a really bad meltdown. Because of Dan Schneider. Yeah. Big foot guy. Dan Schneider showing her fucking feet. And Efron Lohan was... Like Schneider making... Curry.

Yeah, he was the Tarantino of the younger industry. The Tarantino of kids, which is bad. Makes it even weirder. What was fucked up about that 15-year-old skater is that that didn't win the gold medal yesterday is like the other

girl won from Russia and she was definitely on the same drugs. They were definitely pumping her through that exact same shit. Am I right, Sniko? Absolutely. Alright, cheers, brother. You're going to get me in trouble. Launch it. Here comes Brandon.

I'm going to get up before he beats me up. Another Disney Channel original movie. It was 13th Year. You guys remember that one? Is that a... 13 Reasons Why? A mermaid one? Oh, the guy just becomes a mermaid.

Yeah, but he figures it out because he was thirsty one night in the middle of the night. He was very thirsty. Then I just thought that. Didn't he grow gills? He grew fins and gills. You guys ever watch H2O? Yeah. Show is awesome.

Is that another mermaid show? Oh, yeah. It's the mermaid show. It is. It's the best mermaid show I've ever seen. Yeah, that Wished Out Calum Taylor Swift

is the main character. Yeah. No, not really. Not quite. You remember that Brink? Yeah. The skating movie? Movie.

Team Pup and Suds. They didn't let you, or they never printed those movies. Like, you couldn't go to, I went to the video store one time as a youth, and I was like, can I rent Brink? And they said they didn't have Brink. Yeah. None of the Disney Channel original movies ever made it to VHS or DVD. They were only on the Disney Channel. One where Shia

LaBeouf played a mentally challenged... That wasn't original. No, that's new. That just came out. They put on that wet piss hat. I cried. What was that movie? Peanut Butter Falcon or something? No, no. It was called... Sunny Boy or some shit? Honey Boy.

No. Search a Shia LaBeouf mentally challenged movie. I got to watch that. Smart House was good. Smart House was one of the- I watched it back two years ago. I'm going to tell her. I wanted to fuck the personified house.

Shit hot voice. Yeah. Put your dick in there, Nick. That's the mom from Sons of Anarchy. Fuck the electrical outlet, Nick. It's called True Confessions. Wait, was the kid's name true? Oh, the kid's name was True.

Yeah, definitely. Oh, I definitely watched this. He's got the face down. Yeah, he's got it down. Pat, he's Gilbert Grapen. That's fucked up. And wait, who's the mom? Is that the mom who made the daughter go to,

or like they paid for USC or some shit? Who's the, oh, maybe i'm making that up any like not any no that's not non-mentally lori loffler that plays thank you lori lofflin was was leo the first person to play a mentally challenged movie out before forrest gump yeah rain man rain man yeah dustin hoffman and there's probably some before that even. What did he... Oh, Monster's Fall? You call him Slug Light all the time. I mean, the profession of jesters. Yeah, being a fool.

Yeah. Shakespeare was on that shit early. Gilbert Grape is a wildly depressing movie. Leo crushes that, though. Oh, phenomenal. He's the goat. I'm about to name my dog after him. Dude, Brad is an ugly name for

anybody but Brad Pitt and Cooper. Cooper's not a bad name though for a dog. Brad. Brad already had a pretty game. Brad is an ugly dude. I don't agree. I don't think I've met an ugly Brad.

Brad is a notoriously hot name. Brad? Oh, I have a real ugly one in mind. Oh my God, is he ugly. Air him out. The big guy from Everybody Loves Raymond was ugly. He was Brad. Garrett.

Garrett, but he's tall and he has a deep voice. He could still. He's like 6'7", though. He's too tall. What? You ever see the tall family on Vine? Their whole, every video is though. He's too tall. He's got a... What? You ever see the tall family on Vine? Their whole... Every video is just that they're very tall.

How tall are they to be the tall family? The kid is like 7'2". Okay, that's tall. The girl is really tall, but every video is like, look how tall we are. When your daughter is very tall. Oh, yeah, I need to see some... When your son is 7'2".

In the first generation of the internet, your screen name would be like TallMan72, and you'd be 6'3 1⁄2", and that's not tall. It's not. Was that your AIM name? No, no, no, that'd be stupid. Mine was NBA One Day 13. One Day with a one? Yeah.

Recording Matsuyama? Yeah, I was getting there. Damn. Didn't quite make it. I feel like the only things that tall people really even get to... Oh, here they are. That tall family. Oh, he is tall as fuck.

He is. Ceiling fans and doorways. What else do tall people really have to complain about? Yeah, like... Airplane seats. Yeah, that was the third thing that I was thinking of. Ubers? He's just too big for things.

Yep. If you sign up for an Uber and you see a Toyota Corolla's coming, you just have to cancel that Uber. Uh-uh, you can just splay your legs. No, you can't. He knows he's this tall. Why doesn't he get stuff that fits? This is every video. The punchline is very tall. He's too tall for juice. This is every video. I mean, yeah. The punchline is we're very tall.

He's too tall for juice. This was an ad. Little manlets like me seethed when we watched. How many followers do they have? Probably 10 million. I saw a girl walking

Wait, you want a cup of juice? How tall are you? I saw a woman who was a legit 6'10 one day. You gotta be that short to ride this. There was a 6'11 girl who played ball

at West Liberty. Of course there was. I got locked in a McDonald's with an entire and one team. My ex-girlfriend was over six foot. Yeah, the power went out of the McDonald's. What did you say? What was that? I just said something.

Wait, what? You just said something. Really? Your ex-girlfriend was over six foot? Yeah. Shut up. Is that real? Yeah. Tell us everything. That's a bit of work. Give us something Yeah. Shut up. Is that real? Yeah.

Tell us everything. Doesn't that work? Give us something more. Ask Marty. No, that's it. That's all you get. Why didn't you not put your seat in her bush for life? You should have impregnated that woman.

Is the fucker like an alley-oop? I'm about to get in trouble. Like when someone else helps you dunk, you run up, jump, and another person assists you into the pussy? Let that imagination go wild, bro. Oh, it is, dude. I'll be thinking about this for weeks. Spinner Rudy.

Really? You're a little pinwheel. Imagine trampolines. It's interesting when things don't match up. Yeah, it is. Fuck yeah, Za. Get another shot, Za. Come in here.

Yeah, actually, come on. No, actually, come in here. Get one. Get one. One more. What are you talking about, Za? Come on. The one time. One time for the one time, Za. I mean, actually, come in here. Get one. Get one. One more. What are you talking about, Zaha? Come on. The one time.

One time for the one time, Zaha. You just heard that open. That sounded nice. That sounded nice. Dude, I like fun Fridays. I agree. Does Katie want one? Katie.

No, she can't. She's going to have to drive. What? Why? Katie. Do people call her Katie? Yeah, I didn't know that was her name. I just followed suit.

It's not her name. It's A-D. I love abbreviations. It's Katie. I thought you were saying It's not her name. It's A.D. I love abbreviations. It's K.D. I thought you were saying like K.D. like Kevin Durant. Or like K.D. Baked Beans. A.T. Tunstall.

A.D. Lundum. K.D. Lundum. Is that what you're saying? Snaggo, so what's going on in fucking production, bro? What the fuck are y'all doing back there, bro? Why don't you spill? Why is everyone quitting? We're not quitting. Y'all doing back there bro why's everyone quitting we're not quitting y'all don't quit

except for Colby yeah but Colby was gonna go be a dad fuck Colby fuck Colby got a dog he's got a kid on the way he's got a house he has a life congrats to him best actually ate him he is the original prince

but you know what we did find out about this specific show yesterday, though, in that group chat? And I don't even know how you found it out, Owen. I went home for my dad's birthday, and my mom was like, I think I noticed something weird about the Yak. I think you guys all have sisters, no brothers. Your mom watches the Yak? Sister? She watches the Yak. No brothers.

Three sisters. I have one sister. I got one sister, no brothers. I have two sisters, no brothers. One sister, No brothers. Three sisters. I have one sister. I got one sister, no brothers. I have two sisters, no brothers. One sister, no brothers. I have three sisters, two brothers. No, you don't. No, you don't.

Yes, I do. No, you don't. What are your brothers' names? For sure don't. Bobby, Ricky, Mikey, Ticky, Tommy. 1963. Lucas and Jonathan. No, you don't.

Brandon. No. You don't have a brother. No, I don't have a brother. What are their hobbies? You don't have a brother. You don't have a brother. You don't have. Brandon, you don't have a brother. What are their hobbies? You don't have a brother. You don't have a brother. You don't have a brother.

You don't have a brother. Big Cat does. One of them plays solitaire. Big Cat has a brother? I thought he was. And Che. And Che does. We're all brotherless.

Wait, wait. Was he lying? No, Big Cat has a brother. I've met him. Brandon, you're my brother. Brother Brandon. No, but this show in here, this show that we've been doing this week without Che and without Big Cat has been brotherless. That's why we all hate women so much.

And why we love each other. Yeah, because we need that. We need the brothers. We have voids. We all have voids. I've been looking for you guys all my life. Yeah, for real. Honestly.

You guys did what my parents couldn't. Pray for someone like you. Trust me. I heard them trying. It did everything for me, but I appreciate you guys so much more. I have seven sisters. Thanks, man. Like the colleges?

What are they named? Bryn Mawr and Swarthmore? That's a town in the suburb of Philly. Sure. And I thank God that I finally found you. You want one? No, I don't. Nick, I said it. More for Stank. I am not another shot. You want one? No, I don't. I said it.

More for Stank. I am not doing it. I'll pour this out for Nick. Give me your shot glass. And you'll bleed easier. Of what? Stanko. Two more.

No. Two more. Come on. Stanko. Give into a little bit of peer pressure, not all the peer pressure. Pete just texted me and said, let's get Stanko fucked up today. Yeah, Pete sent me that earlier. I don't think Pete's ever watched the...

Oh, yes. He watches every episode. Fucking say that, Stanko. What do you mean? Pass this down to Nick. I don't want to do this. No one's wanted to do any of them so far. Maybe you do it with me.

We have to go do Barstool shopping that way. You want one? Yeah, we do. DJ wants one. I'll run, we do. DJ wants one. I'll run it to him. DJ wants one. I also have a piece of Barstool history

that you guys can take credit for if you want it. Please. Yeah. Look at the screen. What's that for? Push it, push it. We got to pump it up.

Pump it up. Pump it up. We got to pump it up. Pump it up. Go to YouTube and are we sure? You're going to get to a million. Subscribe right now. Go to YouTube and... Are we sure? We're going to get to a million. Subscribe right now. We'll take a shot for every 10 people.

That shit ain't moving. It updates every time. Can't do a real time? It's a firm... Social Blade had their access throttled. Social Blade's done? Can you just buy a bot? Somebody buy 2,000 followers,

and then we can take credit for getting a million followers. Yeah, we're not... Who would know how to do that? We get a million. Anybody at Bar,000 followers and then we can take credit for getting a million followers. Yeah, we're not... Who would know how to do that until we get a million? Anybody at Barstool that would know how to... Yeah, a couple people on the content side.

No one else? I'm going home. What, for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You all right, Brandon? Yeah. You promised me. Yeah, dude.

He's got to see that wife. You're going to that hamburger place, aren't you? I'm going to Sonic, yeah. Are you going to Sonic? Sonic, yeah. We'll get chili cheese there, guys. That's what he thinks. Love you. He's calling for... to that hamburger place, aren't you? Are you going to Sonic?

Love you. He's calling for... Alcohol acts as a hard drug to Brandon. That was odd to watch. Yeah, man! Put the car out front! She just screamed, don't scream my name. You have to do a shot with us. Yep, come in.

I need to hear more about this tall girl. I think I might have just chipped my tooth on the mic. Yeah. Let me see. Smile at me. Oh, it's gone. Did we empty the bottle? Damn.

What came out of it? I'll give that one to Zah. Boy, the baby boy. Zah, you don't want that one. There's like solids in it. What the fuck? Sass. There ain't solids.

Looking out for you. Where's Stanko's shot? You got to pump it up. You'll do it with me. Stanko, how many did you have before you got in here? How many shots did I have? You do one every morning. No, unless you count Listerine. I don shots did I have? You do one every morning.

No, unless you count Listerine. I don't think that counts. You brush with Jack. A little bit every time. Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack. I miss Kesha, man. I hated, there was a time when it was Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Kesha all together. And I hated Kesha Those are the three

Her songs were the ones That I liked the most Timber That type of shit I saw her live at Firefly And it was just a TED talk I think she was She was the victim of some abuse. Yes, she was.

Mark, no, not Mark Ronson, Dr. Luke. It was her first performance back from that. And then Dr. Luke started Core Water and made like a billion dollars off of that. Pete. Let's get Pete in here. Pete, Pete, look. Pete! Rob 64. Pete! Come here. Pete. Let's get Pete in here. Pete, Pete, Pete. Pete. Pete.

Come here, Pete. Come on. Pete. See you, boys. Stanko brought in a bottle of tequila. Stanko is fucked up. Yeah. Why are you guys still going?

It's 2.30. I came in here to get the equipment ready. Wait, are you pissed off that we're working harder? That we're doing more, that we're putting out more content for the company? This is literally one of our scarcest resources. Stop and we get a million subscribers. We're going to hit a million on YouTube. This is a huge debt.

Imagine how many you'd have if you didn't wait until 2 o'clock when the show normally ends on a Friday to work hard. You want us to stop doing content at Barstool Sports. No, I'm asking why you're still doing it. Isn't there, like, enough people out here who don't do shit? And we're the ones who are doing it. What have you done today, Pete? Fucking fuckton.

Sounds like it. I believe him. Yeah, he's in. One Pete Sass. Fucking fuckton. Are you going to be pissed off at Stanko if he stumbles back into the control room later and pisses on the TriCaster? I would be pissed at myself if I did that. Don't stick up for yourself, Stanko.

Don't bow down. What gives Putin the right? You want to take this one? Damn, Brandon is bundled up. Do a shot with us, Pete. It's a nice reprisal. It's good leadership. It's good leadership. He's going to hike today. Do a shot with this, Pete. It's a nice rep. Stanko doesn't have to. It's good leadership. It's good leadership.

He's going to hike Everest in that fit. What the fuck is up with him? Who was it? I'm not. Pete, if you take that shot, Penn Stock will drop 10 points today. If I do or if I don't? Either.

If I don't, it'll drop. It's called value. Not an advisor. If you don't take that shot, we're all selling our pen stock. More for me. Two nothing. Pete? Two nothing.

Body of me. I hate that he's stacking dubs right now. I hate it. No, carry on. Have fun. We're not having fun. This is miserable. Is it okay that we're.... Have fun. We're not having fun. This is miserable. Is it okay that we're...

You don't like working. I love working. I don't. What? Why are you miserable? You like working? Work is inherently miserable. It's not work if it's miserable.

If it's not miserable. Okay. Are you going to Joey Comast's show tonight? What's that? Joey? New content hire. Mm-hmm. They're saying that.

Gay as hell. Gay as all get out. No, I'm not. You're not? Are we broadcasting that or who's in charge of that? No, that's not a Barstool event. It's not? That's with Snoopy.

I thought Snoopy worked with this. That's some whack bullshit. Well, she's interning. How many have we gotten since I walked in? Zero? That's not a live update. Tell him it only updates every thousand unless he gives me the login. It updates every thousand unless you've lost like a thousand.

Tell him to come log in on the main page. You can see it live. You log in on the main page. You can log in on the main page. We'd get better results if you just refreshed the YouTube. If we get to a million right now, we're good. We have to. Oh, man.

Pete will twerk. Because then we get all the credit. Yeah. Who is our resident YouTube person? I think Logan. Who's the most excited about this? Brandon Clancy, I think, would be pretty fired up about it. Any words for publicity?

Nothing to say to publicity. Sad. Crickets. Damn. Zah, we got to do this shot, bro. Nick, you got yours? Yeah, man, but like. I'll be honest, dude.

I don't even feel drunk off this, bro. You guys are, yeah. For us. Zah, you have a traditional toast that you could give us? Oh, yeah. Brandon just came back with a squadron of people. What do we have? He just came back in with a bunch of children.

This guy has no respect for the toast. No respect for the toast. It was hard to... I'm sorry. It was hard to ignore what just happened. I love that stanko in your native tongue is still stanko. Funny how that works, right? Funny how that works, buddy. More nakiro weekend, innit?

Well said, Za. God bless. Za took a little champ, of course. Who did Brandon bring in? Brandon just brought in random kids. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't let them in. Excited boys.

No, no. Now I feel bad. Let them in. No, why? What are you talking about? Fuck, they want to meet their idols. They want to meet their idols, their Nickheads. KB, KB, your heart's going to go out to them if they don't get fucked.

KB has to fuck them. I don't know who they may want to get fucked. You're going to have to fuck them. All right, and what's going on here? Is it your brothers? Stop this. Who are those tots? Stop this.

Why do you still want to stop this? Who are they? I didn't realize we were make-a-wishing today. No, I was leaving. And we're make-a-wishing now. I was leaving. I was crossing the street, and these two guys said, hey, Brandon Walker, can we get a picture?

I said, yeah. And they said, we love the act. I said, well, you want to go see it? And then we came up and saw it. You are shifting. Wow. You are shifting. What. You are shifting. What?

This is a terrible president. You're never usually that nice. That's Will and Miguel. Okay. Shoot them. Shoot them. Yeah. Shoot these two.

Shoot them. Will and Miguel. Fine. This is like the trolley problem because if they love the yak and why are they Then more people will come in and kill us. That's true. That's right. Who's the blonde boy with the chain reaction?

It's Will. It's the lifeboat paradox, Brandon? I'm going to throw up. Yeah, why'd you just go into Barron Trump? What was in that? You went from your dog voice to Barron Trump.

Well, now they're standing awkwardly wondering what to do. You did invite them in. Escort them out. I mean... Take them back to the snack area. Give them a word. Give them a word.

Tell them to come in. Give them a word. Tell them to come in. Tell him to come in. Tell him to come in. Just come in. Miguel, I'm assuming. Lucky guess. Are there some Mike and Mike?

Boys. Will. Boys. Talking to the mic. Talking to the mic. Show some goddamn respect. No, no, no. Don't you dare sit down.

You're talking to the mic. Yes, sir. Pass it back. Yeah, we're live. You're live. Okay, just relax right now. Yeah, we're live. You're live. Okay, just relax, Miguel. Oh, look at this. Are these guys going to be the reason we hit a mil?

We've gotten 1,700 subscribers. Yeah. That's what we're going for. We need 1,700 more subscribers. I regret this. Tell us your story. You're walking around midtown Manhattan. I live in Oklahoma, obviously.

Yes. Yeah. And I just came up. Put your face right up next to in Oklahoma. Obviously. Yes. Yeah. And I just came to visit. Put your face right up next to the mic. Okay. Like right here? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So, we were just here to visit in the city, and I was like, we got to walk past headquarters. And lo and behold. Here y'all are. And this, anybody can do this. I'm doing this lummox out here, that big bastard. I mean, we saw him stop by. Oh, shit. There's shit down your throat. Brandon hates it. Yeah this, anybody can do this. I'm doing this lummox out here, that big bastard. I mean, we saw him stop. Oh, shit.

There's shit down your throat. Brandon hates it. He hates the neon yellow. This dickhead brought you into Barstool, yeah. He did. He said, you want to come check it out? We're like, what a bitch. What a fucking idiot.

What a fucking oaf. What you wanted. That was cool of you. What do y'all know about Alex Bennett? Alex Bennett, she's a mean girl, right? Oklahoma. There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she stole what do you call the franchise Buddha Ben's painting stole a franchise yeah my girlfriend follows her and she was like

oh she's like it's from Oklahoma I was like well that's cool you think you're gonna break up with your girlfriend now that you're on Barstool

no I don't think so yeah that's awesome shout out shout out to Maddie love you hey oh shit yeah sorry I apologize that was the right move I apologize That's awesome. Shout out to Maddie. Love you. Hey. Oh, shit.

Sorry. No, you're too good. I'm going to apologize. That was the right move. I'm going to apologize. Boys, thank you for supporting the show. We truly appreciate it. We appreciate it, boys.

You guys are one of one. What's the plans? You're each one of one. Will, you're going to get the most polite head tonight. We are looking for a karaoke bar recommendation. K-Town, go to Koreatown. Koreatown. Best ones.

Little Dacoby. Hit up Little Dacoby. Get the bulgogi at Little Dacoby. Meet you boys there. Hello. Good shit. Hell yes, dude. He got his New York shoes on.

That was cool of Brandon. I'll give it to him. That was nice of him. A little bit too nice, though. It was high risk. It was nice because he wants to be like, not nice for the sake of being nice. You know what I mean? He wanted to be their hero.

I might throw up. Let me see that vape, bro. I'm at that point in my life where I need a little fucking smoke in my lungs, bro. Here comes Brandon again. You might as well just stay. Wrap it up. Should I not have done that? No, no, no.

Let's push it for the next 19 yeah we gotta get two hour show she gotta get to the mill we're not I don't know if we're gonna get unless you don't wanna be there

for your audience yeah we're not going up quite fast enough I feel like the people that watch us would already be subscribed 1700 but we need to put out

a call to action off our twitter or some shit like that yeah probably how do we do that I'll do it off the show account yeah do it off the show account you Yeah, do it off the show account. You want to take it?

Oh, look at that. We got one more. I want to take full credit for this. Yeah, if you guys tweet it out, we'll hit it. I think I'm going to go down the street and get somebody else. Oh, no. Oh, man. Nick's going to follow up.

I kind of want you to. Brandon, when did you get that Choc-A-Tub, brother? Where did you pick up that yellow? I actually did a Hooters ad, and this was a prop in the Hooters ad, and they let me keep it. Prop? Prop? Yeah, they said wear this big coat, and they bought it.

It's a Sean John coat, you know, pretty much. It's me all over. There we go. There goes another one. You wore nothing but FUBU from 7th to 12th grade. Well, it'd been Pelly Pelly, yeah. You were on the Pelly Pelly? I was a Tecumarie as well. Damn, one yes you were nothing but fubu from seventh to twelfth grade well it'd been pelly pelly yeah you were on the pelly pelly i was a tecumarie as well damn bro you were swaggy yeah i'm just i'm just quoting kanye lyrics from college dropout i i don't know if those are right that vape has me swimming bro you got to try it with y'all vape

too oh yeah oh y'all the bottle's gone y'all killed the bottle oh we killed it right and you drank half of it you Do you not remember? Do you guys know how to swim survival backstroke? No. What's the difference? It's a lot less effort. You could do it for hours. Piss yourself and shit yourself so you're lighter.

Yeah, the stream goes into your mouth. That way you don't lose anything. I do know how to do that. Look at those numbies going up. I'm fucking intoxicated. Holy shit. I'm fucking addicted to this shit, man. This might be too much coke.

Pump it up. Too much coke? I don't think there's any such thing, man. You can't overdose off that shit unless you... Too much coke. Unless you mix it. A lot of coke. That's like a coat that you'd wear to hike Everest.

Yeah, it is. It's like that Gorp core shit. We should hike Everest. We should. That would be so sick. No, it wouldn't, bro. Easy to. Yeah.

Everest is a walk in the park these days. Just walking past all the dead people. Yeah. K2 is the one, bro. We got to go to Pakistan. We never go to hike K2. Pakistan? Pakistan?

Yeah. Pakistan or Afghanistan? It's in Pakistan. Pakistan. You ever see the video of the guy on the real- Stan culture is out of control. Wild. Pakistan culture. Only like 500 people have ever summited K2. Look at those mountains. Stan culture's out of control. Wild. Pakistan culture...

Only like 500 people have ever summited K2. Look at those... Stan culture is wild. They don't even love themselves. How can they even claim to love somebody else? Yeah, they don't know

what love is. It's a different emotion than love. I don't know what love is. I was talking about the group of countries. I want you to show me then, Brandon.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, what the fuck is going on in Turkmenistan? fuck is going on in Turkmenistan? All their buildings are marble, but like no one... Wait, why are we losing subscribers? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God.

What the fuck was that? Whoa! Whoa! Oh, now we're cooking. Bring in the bots. Did we buy bots? We must have. Because I know we don't got that many fans.

I know we don't have two more fans. Oh, my God. If it keeps going like this, I'm not going to be able to leave my fucking apartment. This is surreal. I remember when it was like $9.94. Jesus Christ. That feels like yesterday.

Oh. Stop leaving us. Wait, what video is going to be posted? No, no, no. What's going down? I don't know if I like this because this makes the fact that our barstool shopping network getting 20 000 views way worse well we only post that at like 4 a.m on yeah on sundays yeah at the worst possible time whenever they tell someone they're

gonna put their video up on sunday it's just the biggest slap in the face. Biggest slap in the face. They love to... Oh, down. We'll give you one post a week on main page, and then I'll see my fucking page. They must have just... DJ, did you post it on the Yak? How are you actively unsubscribing?

Unsubscribing is hard to do. Brandon, you can't leave until we hit a million. No, I can't. No, you can't. I'm about to. You don't have a driver. I'm good. What are you... Oh. I'm about to. You don't have a driver. I'm good. What are you?

Oh. I'm going to Uber. Give me your Sonic order. It's got to be like $150. Not from Secaucus, no. Oh. I'll take Penn Station over. Okay.

Not from Secaucus. What's your Sonic order? Oh, large chili cheese tots, number one cheeseburger, mayonnaise only, and Route 44 sweet tea. Dude, I do like mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise. Not to fucking tap dancing around that fact. 69. It's a good topping.

I'm sick of people saying they don't like it and then watching them eat aioli. Yeah, bastards. So much shit is mayonnaise based. Is tartar mayonnaise based? Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. Look at the-based. Is tartar mayonnaise-based? Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes.

Tartar rules. Look at the numbers go up as we talk about mayonnaise. I fucking love that shit, bro. Keep going, mayonnaise. Keep it light, mayonnaise. Miracle Whip, it does suck, though. Guys, we're not even close. No, we have to get there.

I don't even know if this is a date. EJ, you told us too early. This might be a next week thing. Yeah. Inch by inch, row by row, bro. We're going to make this garden grow. Doing this for you, Dave. What could get it there the fastest?

A Dave tweet? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he has more followers on his Twitter than me. Let's call him up. I don't have his number. I actually do have his number. I don't have my phone, but I would call him.

I got it. Do you? I have his number, but I'm blocked on his phone. He sends me minion memes. I got it. Do you? I have his number, but I'm blocked on his phone. He sends me Minion memes. He loves Minions. Minions were hilarious, though. What was that movie that they were in? Minions.

Despicable Me. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, Despicable Me was the original one. There were two Despicable Me's before they pivoted over to realize Minions were there. There's been like four Despicable Me's. Now they're doing Young Gru. Young Gru? Yep.

Is that different than Baby Groot? Yeah. It sounds similar. It certainly does. And similar characters. One of them's a little wooden boy, which is different than Pinocchio. Yeah, you're right. That shit is fucking deep, bro.

Come on, how did I go down with the Pinocchio? People hate Pinocchio. They dug up old tweets. He said he was lying about it. He was pretending to be hard. He meant what he said. I didn't say that. Are you sure?

Pinocchio's voice is your dog voice. I didn't mean it. I gotta take the coat off. I didn't mean it. You're sweating. Maybe call Dave on my phone. I will. Pinocchio gets swallowed by a whale?

That was Jonas. Twice. Jonas. It was Jonas. Jonas and the whale. Joe Jonas and the whale. Still gets jealous of them other whales, man. That's Nick Jonas. I'm embarrassed as hell. This is actually going to take so long. We made our bet on Bailey. It's going to leak over to Bailey Carlin. Is it?

Yeah. Yeah. We got to get out of here. It's going to leak over into Barstool Radio at 4. You're right. I don't care what Dave thinks, man. I fucking like Bailey Carlin, man. I like him, but I...

I was kidding, bro. I muted him on I I was kidding bro I muted him on Twitter I can't handle this too much I muted Alex and Jordan This week? Yeah This week? Owen's had a lot of shots

A little too much That's why I love going out with Owen You can't tell that he's the sober one He will match your personality He'll say as much One person that's hit a guy out at a bar is Owen, and he's sober. Football tackled him. Football tackled him.

He's being a pest. I have every single person at Barstool muted, except for you guys. I have three people at Barstool muted. I won't say who. Who are the strays? I think PFT, Billy. That might be it. You're a big Billy guy.

Thanks. You do love Billy. Billy's funny. Billy's funny. Billy is funny. And he also... I never want to be called funny like that, though. What?

What do you mean? Like Billy? I thought Billy and PFT's blogs from the road trip were hilarious. They were great. All of them. Yeah, I heard a lot of people talking about them. You would read anything that week. You're obsessed with reading.

Still am. I quit my book last night, though. What do you mean you quit it? I surrendered. It wasn't an offense. Hunter S. Thompson one? Yeah, it wasn't. It's not Fear and Loathing.

It's not Fear and Loathing. Start with Fear and Loathing. It's tough to start with someone's best work. I didn't know that. Well, I knew he's like a journalist, but I didn't know that Fear and Loathing. Start with Fear and Loathing. It's tough to start with someone's best work. I didn't know that. Well, I knew he's like a journalist, but I didn't know that Fear and Loathing and Rum Diary were like the only ones that are like story. Yeah, the other ones. The other ones are like article. They're like long ass articles.

Gonzo journalism. Yeah. Yeah. And it was not really my speed. Hells Angels is kind of a story. No. That's what I'm reading. That's what I was reading.

It wasn't. It was a story? I mean was reading it wasn't it was just I mean it is but it's just like it's like an article it's like facts from like over the course of three years

was there like what are they R word someone to him oh a lot of that yeah it's fucked it's fucked now I'm reading

Don McGonagall's beginning we're getting there R wording like Gilbert Grape no yep when actors act mentally challenged we saw that graping they're grapists there. Our wording like Gilbert Grape? Yep.

When actors act mentally challenged we saw that graping. They're grapists. Yeah. But it wasn't Gilbert Grape. What was the what was his name? Leo's. Was it like Arnie? Wait his name isn't Gilbert Grape. I've never seen Gilbert Grape. As much as we reference it. I just remember the scene where he was lying in front of the water tower. So you're surprised that this kid is mentally challenged with his name is Arnie Grape. I've never seen Gilbert Grape. As much as we referenced it. I just remember the scene where he climbs the water tower.

So you're surprised that this kid is mentally challenged with his name as Arnie Grape? I remember him climbing to the top of the water

tower and the scene where he talks about his dad killing himself. Wait, isn't Arnie Grape the name of the guy that plays Fez in...

That's Wilder Valderrama. No, no. August? No, it's something Angus Angus Cloud Which is the same thing

As Gilbert Grave It really is the exact Same thing as Gilbert Grave Angus Cloud Is the same as Gilbert Grave Yeah yeah Is he in Euphoria Yeah yeah

Euphoria And what's his What's his name's daughter Judd Apatow's daughter Maud Maud Apatow Yeah cause there was That picture

It was Angus Cloud And Maud Apatow Seen in Manhattan And it was like Those are some. It was Angus Cloud and Maud Apatow seen in Manhattan. And it was like, those are some old-ass names. Angus Cloud. Are those the Euphoria people? Someone said those are some old-ass names. That's a tweet that I wish I could pull off when you just say someone said, like.

Yeah, why don't you just retweet the funny-ass joke? And then you look at the first reply on the tweet and it has, like, 100,000 likes. I mean, it's all the game. Our employees are guilty of that. It's the same as like tweet VAing. My favorite was. Yeah, but you add your own caption to a clip usually, no? Someone said.

People say someone really said. But if the video is very funny, it doesn't matter what the caption is. You're just posting the video to get those likes. True. Dude, we're pushing ourselves like fucking Iron Man triathletes. Like, we're really pushing ourselves to go into the second hour. I'd go to four. Four hours?

No. You guys can go. Sat has to go upstate. Let's hypothetically say two of us have to make a 40-minute commercial at 345. Oh, fuck. Yeah. 998. We should just do it on Monday.

345 is a far time from now, too. I just need these people to subscribe. 345 and two zigzags. Slowly making our way. Afro Man is the worst live show that you could go to. You've been to an Afro Man show? That's false. I've been to a bunch, and that's not true.

It's horrible. You're lying. I went to an Afro Man show. It was horrible. I've been to a bunch of shows. First of all, Afro Man's from Mississippi. He's got great concerts. He just doesn't always remember the words, and sometimes he hits women.

He did not remember the words. No. It was a mess. He used to go to cake parties at Penn State. He was at a cake? Yeah, I went to. Cake parties. We'd have like 10 cakes, and he would just come and fucking.

Yeah, he doesn't do concerts. He doesn't do concerts in venues. He does them in frat houses. Backyards, yeah. And he probably gets paid a brick. He's making the most out of his easily original, like, indie artist, guerrilla, what the fuck's that? I think he broke his mic completely.

Oh, he plays guitar? Oh. That's unfortunate. No. Oh, no, no, stop playing this. Stop playing this. Stop playing this. Why?

It's off-putting. It's Afro, man. Why do they call him Afro, man? Because he got high. NASCAR, like I said, Daytona 500, Luke Combs, LA Coliseum, Barstool Sportsbook. Yeah, of course. You guys jealous you don't have handheld?

On Fox. The followers did shoot up when we showed domestic violence. Oh, yeah. Was that domestic, though? I mean, that was on native soil. He doesn't live on. That was ballistic violence. That was foreign.

That was TJ stuff. That was foreign. That was... TJ, stop. TJ. TJ. You off it, too? TJ. TJ's off a bean right now, boy. I'm starting to question this tequila.

I feel weird. This is more than... I'm not just an alcohol drunk. You're saying it's more than tequila? You drank the worm. Honestly, what is this? When they said there was a little membrane in the last shot and I gave it to you, you drank the worm with the tequila. It's a hallucinogenic.

Yeah, when you drink the worm, the worm is the hallucinogenic. Not the rest of the liquid. So you're hallucinating. I'm off a worm? I went to, when I was in Ethiopia, we went to this nice-ass hotel. Well, for Ethiopia. For Ethiopia. It was the I was in Ethiopia, we went to this nice-ass hotel. Wow. For Ethiopia. For Ethiopia.

It was the nicest one in Ethiopia. And they sold candy by weight, and we got like these. There's like a ton of places in the United States that do that. All right, well, it's probably going to apply to his story from Ethiopia. Candy by weight is standard for a candy store. But it wasn't in pounds. It was in grams, and that's pertinent to the story. And my Ethiopian boy saw that we had got a bunch of gummy worms,

and he was in disbelief, and he was like, y'all got 10 grams of worms? Because they're a Francophone country. They don't really have the R's. They don't have rhodicism. 10 grams of worms? And so, yeah, he said 10 grams of worms. I used to not be able to say ours.

10 grams of warmth. Really? And it's tough for me because I have two in my last name. How'd you learn it? I went to a speath... Time to go. I'm having a war flash. We subscribe.

With your first name, people thought your name was like Orin then. Yeah, they thought it was Orin. It's just some Scandinavian shit being named Orin then. Yeah, they thought it was Orin. It's just some Scandinavian shit being named Orin. Yeah, I remember I went to a woman who was a speech pathologist. This is the eighth time you've left. Stop announcing it. You're freaking out, man.

You're telling me to freak out. I have felt this exact way before. Like on drugs. Why are you geeking, bro? Breathe deep. Is my boy geeking or tweaking? The last thing I would want is people to say, on drugs. Why you geeking, bro? Breathe deep. Is my boy geeking or tweaking? The last thing I would want is people to say, like, why you geeking, bro? Gymnastics meet at 530.

What? Is he Reggie? You might be Reggie right now. Are you Reggie? I'm Reggie. All right. Gymnastics meet? Are you off the Reggie?

You're acting like Reggie, that's for sure. Oh, man, he's freaking out You'll be back Dave's producer Austin just typed in chat and said If we call him, he'll tweet the clip from Dave's account With a link to sub and then we'll hit it If I call Dave? Yeah, let me call him

Go get it, go get it, run and get it But Roan, I pretended to Still have a lisp Longer than I did Just because the teacher was hot? Yeah. She had the augers. She would play Cat in the Hat Monopoly.

She had the bazingas. I've never had a teacher with bazingas. Really? Never. That's Cap. Never. That's Cap. What are you talking about?

You have had a teacher with bazingas. Never have. You never had an attractive teacher, dude? Never once. The majority were nuns. And you think nuns can't be attractive, bro? None. Nuns.

That's that anti-Catholic rhetoric that I'm fucking tired of, bro. I wish KB kept the Osirises. It's a shame. I know. But we could just tell him to buy another pair. And he will. Kyle, we need you to buy another pair. And he will. Kyle, we need you to get another pair of Osirises. Are those trash?

I want KB to get the Converse they sold in Hot Topic that go up to your knees. Yeah, that would have been so funny. You have to spend a half hour lacing them up. You can't even really get into those. Kyle, please get those. How do they even have enough shoelace for those? Call Dave. We are pushing ourselves today.

Yeah, we really are. We're 10Xing. I want to get to a million. I do too. A milli, a milli, a milli, a milli. I just got a text that made me irate. What does it say? You didn't actually mute the people you said you muted?

What was it? I don't know why I said that out loud. Let me defend you. Yeah, now we need to hear it because a drunk man's thoughts are a sober man's ideas. So give it to us, brother. Go to the Barstoolstore.com. They don't work here anymore? I want a shirt that says Anist right in the center.

Reggie just hit you? What did he say? No, he didn't. Who did? Bailey? Yeah. We'll read the text, and then we'll... Aren't you calling Dave?

No, no, no, no, no. Don't defer now. I'm gonna call him. He's gonna call him. We need to hear whose text that was. Pump these fucking subscribers. We need you guys. 1,500 left.

1,400 damn near. 1,480. That is so many people. 1,480? 1,480 is not. That's how many, like,, 1,480. That is so many people. 1,480? 1,480 is not. That's how many died in 9-11. That was half a 9-11. They would have subscribed.

That was only half a 9-11. I think about that a lot. You guys watch Louis C.K.'s special? No. I did. I did. You didn't? Mm-mm.

You had to pay for it, right? It's 10 bucks. Is it worth it? Yeah, I'll probably send you two. You can just send it to someone. But very worth it? I could probably Yeah I'll probably You can just send it to someone But uh Very worth it Okay Talks about how many

9-11's an atrocity is Yeah Whoa They're flying up We just got like a burst of 10 Yeah what was that about? Did you call Dave? I'm calling him now

Tell us who Alright you're calling him I'm like nervous You've reached the voicemail oh he sent you the voicemail ring I respect that he sent you the voicemail

that means he has my number saved no it doesn't if it was a random number he would like think who is this 304 number the immediate the immediate rejection Dave loves spam.

That is undeniably true. He has my number saved. No, that does not mean anything. I'm with Kyle. He does, and he's texted me before. Don't you think, though, like if he saw a call from you, someone who like I'm assuming you never call him, don't you think he would be like?

No, no, no, no. When you're as close as Kyle and Dave, he just like he had talked to you at home. He'll just text you. And he's almost assuredly watching live. He knows what I'm about to do. He probably doesn't have the home. He'll just text you. And he's almost assuredly watching live. He knows what I'm about to do. He probably doesn't have the time. Read his text. Cool thing about me and Dave is, like, you know how with your best friends,

you're just comforted in silence? Of course, yeah. You just didn't talk once when we hung out. That's love. That shows that you both are at an elevated plane when you guys connect. Yeah. You guys just meet at the apex. I got Brandon's notebook notebook but it's not really

yeah he's been writing like the goats of everything and a lot of them have been wrong you said the goat game shows with Bob Barker wait what's David Duke the goat who is it it's Trebek yeah he said David Duke is the goat somewhere it's the best speaker

he loves Duke. Duke Lacrosse. Yes. You think he purposely does bad ones people call in? Maybe. Makes sense. Good strategy. As the producer of the show?

Yes. Really? He picks the wrong answer. State Florida is the most wrong thing maybe ever. Florida gets a lot of, like, people say it's the worst state. I think it is one of the best. Do you think Florida man has kind of, like, petered out when people were always like, oh, yeah, fucking Florida man does this

or Florida man, I feel like that's kind of, that was like 18, 19. So he got old. Wait, Brandon has bird and animal separated. What did he say? Goat animal is giraffe, but goat bird and animal separated? What did he say? Goat animal is giraffe, but goat bird is bald eagle. Why giraffe? Why giraffe? Slowly getting there.

I think we've gotten 200 subs since we started doing this. We're going to have to be here for so long. I fucking love the grind, though. All these people should subscribe to Little Assassin. How are people unsubscribing? And here we come back. Yeah, what is it? Is it the algorithm that's

tricking people into an unsubscribe? Also, so we were gonna go to a concert. Are we gonna go to a concert? I don't know if that's... That's not for months. And I also think that we should find a way to all spend the concert together if we get a concert. And that's not for months. And I also think that we should find a way to all spend the concert together

if we get a concert. And that's not going to happen unless we have a leash on KB. Unless we have a shock collar on KB that he can't leave our perimeter. You're going to leave us. If we get a box, let's get a box. I'll get a box. A box at a concert.

So we are all just sitting together. Is that an option at Jones Beach? No. So we might have to get another concert where we box at a concert. So we are all just sitting together. Is that an option at Jones Beach? No. No, so we might have to get another concert where we can have a box. A concert isn't really a bonding experience. I disagree. I think it definitely could be, especially if we're trying to do it together as a show. I've bonded with you at concerts.

Yeah. Maybe you didn't know. I knew. You were doing the bonding. Do bonds go both ways? They don't have to. Or those stocks? Options.

I don't know. Do you want to come on a road trip from South Carolina to Arizona? No, I don't. Why? I don't. I already feel like I kind of have to. Let's go to Niagara Falls. What if we FaceTime you from each place?

That works. And that would be fun. I think that would be fun. Bro, I like hanging out with you guys. That's nice. It's a good crew, dude. It's a good crew. You make some stanko a little bit back there,

fucking wearing that wire around his head. Fucking make some stanko back there. Stanko is low-key a sneaky legend. Stanko has like the, what's the Jesus helmet that he wore? The crown of thorns. He got a Jesus helmet on right now. I-N-R-I. I-N-R-I.

What does that even say in Latin? King of the Jews. How? It's me. Which one is King of the Jews? Wouldn't that be K-O-T-J? I think it was, I don't know. In Latin, probably,

but which one is I, R, R, I, and R? Rex, probably. Rex. I. Fuck, bro. We need one of our Latin bros to fucking link with us. Where's Enrique at?

He is Latin as hell. Sophomore's wise fool. Yeah? Yeah. Here comes Pete. What's he munching on? They just threw an O in the fridge. Box.

A little mini Pop-Tart. Yo, Pete. Yeah, I think it is. Come on in. Come here, Pete. Pop-Tarts aren't tart. Laker before beer is kind of the... No, they're not at all.

They're the least tart things maybe ever. You need to get to Apex. What the fuck was with toasting them? Don't try and pawn this ending of the show out on me because I don't want to end it but I see you have

restless leg syndrome like a bitch we still have a lot yeah we have a lot of show left and we have a lot of people to get maybe we should get

those beers maybe we should order some food and fucking get in for the long haul he was just like I'm J.R.R. that's my name

O'Keen yeah that's cocky it's so cocky to start off He was just like, I'm J-R-R. That's my name. O'Keen? Yeah. That's cocky. It's so cocky to start off with an acronym. Three letters. Stop, bro. His name's probably Jason or some shit.

Josh Tolkien. It's Josh Randy Randy. But one Randy means horny, and the other one's the name. The other one's just the name. Josh Randy Horny. Josh Horny Randy. But one Randy means horny and the other one's just the name. Josh Randy Horny. Josh Horny Randy. His ass is on some goofy shit, bro. His ass is fucking around. You're just experimenting.

That's like a studio mic. I like that. It doesn't work. I'd do it in the studio, though. It's directional, yeah. I'd be spitting and the camera would be right here. You have a freestyle for us? Bro, I've been working on an album.

I'm not even capital. Really? Really? Let me make the cover. Do you want to? Yeah. On some graphic design shit? Yeah.

Some font shit. He's mixing you. You been writing or just recording or what? Both, bro. I'm close to it. Let's keep this in-house. It has a theme. I don't know, but I'm apprehensive to put it out.

I'm not trying to get judged creatively. Fuck that. You know what I mean? It's scary to get judged creatively. Do you have any features on it? Some, a couple. That's exciting as fuck. Has it been four years since the last drop?

Three. No, three. No, more than three because since the last drop? Three. No, three. Been three. No, more than three because it was before I got here. No, it was three. Shit. Oh, man. XXL.

Freshman. Little sass. Ask the mic to roam. What? What? What? What? Uh. Yo, I got a penis-ass hairy and droopy-ass balls.

Wait, hold up. Hold up. I got this. I got a hairy-ass penis and some droopy-ass balls. I want to go to Niagara Falls with the homies. That's real. Pass the mic to KB. Pass it to Owen. Owen, spit it. Nick.

What if I was real good? What if I just knocked your socks off? That's not what's going to happen. Owen Rader. Ain't nobody gayer. Ha ha ha. Fucks off. Oh, what's going on? Raider. Ain't nobody gayer. What type of Central American fucking... Central. Does that sound Central American to you?

Sounds like an American dude. Oh, shit. Central. Central. All right, let's all do it. We all got a freestyle. 5% pleasure, 50% game. Oh, fuck.

Fuck them. Ad-libbing is the funnest part. Oh, yeah. I walk my white ass back to 8 Mile. Tell these people something they don't know about me. Young Zai walking down the halls. He got some big ass balls. He's going to trip and then he'll fall.

Oh, he's got them big ass balls. That's a good, yeah. He got some big ass nuts. Nuts. Short man with some big ass balls. That's a good, yeah. He got some big ass nuts. Nuts. Short man with some big ass butts. Nuts. He got three motherfucking butts. Fuck.

My boy got three butts. Oh, we lost a follower. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, wait,

it's back. Oh, we're back. All right, it's back, it's back. Spitting. Eating on some toffee,

drinking on some coffee. My favorite hockey player Is Paul Coffey Uh huh Tell these bitches Get off me Damn you got Heath bars My fuckers can't stop me Stop

And I'm real cocky Damn you got Heath bars Dick What kind of Heath bars Heath Heath Toffee Toffee verse

That's a Heath bar Heath bars I got that Heath bar crunch. Like the bunch of crunch. I got a bunch of munch. Munch! I eat a munch. I eat a munch of munch.

Bro, yeah, like I said, I've been fucking writing, bro. This album's about to go crazy. Like I said, I've been in the fucking lab, bro. You know how the fuck it is, bro. Eekin twin. We're about to get OT The Real on the album. OG Genesis? OT Genesis? OT Genesis might be on it.

Get a new beat going. Something about Che getting hard every period. And then we told him to touch grass like Siri did. Something about... Siri! Someone said touch grass like Siri did. Doesn't Siri always tell you guys that? Yes. Oh yeah. Touch grass. I never talk to Siri. Touch grass like Siri did. Doesn't Siri always tell you guys that?

Yes. Oh, yeah. Touch grass. I never talk to Siri. Touch grass, my lord. Can we get like some, like, yeah. I need something a little harder. Turn that beat up.

No, I can't spit to this. Do you want drill? Do you want drill? Drill. I love I made this beat. Yo. Do you want drill? Do you want drill? I love I made this beat. Listen. Give Harry some drill. KB, what would your watermark be if you made it? Put him on a Dave beat.

Get him some Dave shit. I want shook ones. KB made this. KB did this shit. Travies are for the boys. You're too nasty. You're too nasty. Pass the mic to Ron.

Hey, man. Listen. Look, look. Rock. Pass the mic to Ron Big man, listen Listen Big man things You get me Yak boys, we don't play. Outside. All fucking day.

They don't want to see us. No way. Maybe we could meet up. St. Yaktricks Day. What about that t-shirt? Want to make your girl squirt? Want to make that shit work? Listen. your girl squirt I'm gonna make that shit work listen this one's for Harry

this one's for Sass we gon' get fast in your ass this one for me this one's for Nick this one's for Owen and KB listen

I'm too drunk fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue

fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue fuck with they tongue the followers are going up We got it

Young man We off the yak Fuck they know about that They gonna lick on our crack Lookie Kamasta got a show tonight they gonna look on our crack looky come master got a show tonight with snooki oh damn damn bro fucking i don't know how it goes so far bro i don't fucking know where i fucking get it from bro people are just leaving you didn't have to go that far but you did dude i don't think i 97.com, but you did. Dude, I don't think I... Hot97.com and FlexWeTrust.com.

Bring in Shai LaBeouf. Sway. Dude, I need to get a radio freestyle, bro. I need to get my radio freestyle. Yeah, you do. I saw you on Westwood. Dude, I need to get on Westwood. Across the pond.

You hopped on Westwood. I quit a job to go on Static Selecto one time, and then I went on the show, and the freestyle just wasn't that good. It wasn't worth me quitting a job to go on Static Selecto one time and then I went on the show and the freestyle just wasn't that good. It wasn't worth me quitting the job

to have done it. That's a bold move. Yeah, I just fucking walked out and I never fucking came back, bro. Did your teacher

say you could never make it? They told me, bro. They told me I was never going to fucking do it. I was never going to transcend.

Perfect. Yeah. Perfect. Vontaze perfect. Who are some of the people in the office? Who is this guy? Who is that? Who does this thing?

I don't know who that guy is. Oh, that's a Dion guy. I thought it was Dion, man. Remember that Dion dude? They were like, don't show him on camera. Yeah. Yeah. Who was it?

That's the guy, I think. I think that's him. Oh, fair. Show him again? Yeah. Show him on camera again? He was heavy and caught me. Yeah, he's like guy, I think. I think that's him. Oh, fair. Show him again? Show him on camera again? He was heavy and caught me. Yeah, he's like a flight log guy.

Yeah. What is he? Who else is in the office? Not all blue eyes. Yeah, the ledge. Oh, there's shit again. Okay, he's uncomfortable. It's really hard to look tough next to an adorable teddy bear.

Whoop-dee. Dicks need to make a change. Whoop-dee. Whoop-dee. I teddy bear. Whoop-dee. Dicks need to make a change. Whoop-dee. Whoop-dee. I'm on a whoop-dee. Bitch, I'm on top. It's a movie. Or some shit like that, bro.

Some shit just like that, bro. Oh, damn, bro. Oh. You see that Adam Sandler sixers movie? You give me a rap about Full Court Miracle? Yeah, it looks good. On Monday? I don't know what it's about.

At least I could do it. Yeah, the Adam Sandler movie Yeah Which one He's like He's like a Sandler serious role He's like a

Scouter or something Yeah But why There's like What is the dude Eastern European or something Yeah But he doesn't talk

In the whole trailer The entire trailer He must suck He must be an awful actor He must be really bad In that movie And they probably Only cast him

Because he's 6'11 Or some bullshit Shit probably It feels like That's tall guy privilege. No, we actually... That's the silver screen is our one perk.

Oh, the little boys? The little boys get the show out on the... Kill it, yep. Like Cruise, for example. He's a pick-me-shrew. Oh, actor for sure. You had a life-size poster

of Efron in your room growing up. Tom Holland's 5'7". Is Tom Holland like a hero in the short community? You'd go up to it and tower it. What's Tom Holland's new movie?

What are they, in the fucking wilderness or some shit like that? Wahlberg? It's him in Wahlberg? It's a video game movie. Apparently it's awful. I can't see that being good. No way. Do you like video game movies?

Nah. What are video game movies? Wreck-It Ralph is good. Is that based off of a video game? Yeah. Real old one. Wreck-It Ralph. Yeah.

Tetris 2 was good. Tetris 2 was good. Tetris 2 was alright. First one sucked. No. I don't think it's a real game though. Oh, Battleship? There was something similar to it. Battleship with Rihanna.

Mm-hmm. Doom. I think that was good though. Resident Evil. Based off of... Oh, I thought you said Dune. Oh, no, no. Doom.

Doom, Doom, Doom. Resident Evil. Silent Hill. Are the Assassin's Creed's good? Are there movies? Yeah. Is that Fassbender? I think those are bad.

I don't know. I imagine those are bad. I just always see the trailers when I go to the movies. I feel like they would play those on the Cartoon Network. Yeah. Yeah, I've never seen it. I don't know. I've never played any of those video games either.

Assassin's Creed. Prince of Persia. Jake Gyllenhaal, awesome hair in that movie. He broke his silence. About Taylor Swift? Yeah. He got unfairly villainized

10 years afterwards. I agree. And the bitches got angry at him. He's a winning guy. They'd be real quiet if he came up and was like, hey, I heard you had a problem with me. Yeah, they wouldn't bring that same energy.

No, no, no. And he's never lied to me. Chillin Hall has never lied to me. No, he's always been honest. He's always been honest as hell, no matter what they all say. Like, I don't know him to be a dishonest guy. If I saw him, I'd just be like, yo, Jake, I love the way you didn't blink in Nightcrawler. And I'd let him go about his day.

Did he not blink in Nightcrawler? Not a blink in Nightcrawler. Did you know who else didn't blink? Who didn't blink? I think Reed Dollaz in that one freestyle. TJ, you know what I'm talking about? Reed Dollaz goes two minutes without blinking. It's fucking crazy.

He's wearing like an A's hat, and he just doesn't blink the entire time. Yeah, I'm thinking about it. You don't know who Reed Dollaz is? No. Philly rap? What? He's like a Philly rapper? Nah it You don't know who Reed Dollars is? No Philly rap? What? He's like a Philly rapper? Nah I don't know

He was like one of the The first rapper to go viral No? I went viral on Worldstar Yeah this shit bro This shit Look He doesn't blink

Pump his face Well he's being censored, his eyes. Yeah, chew y'all. D-Jones, Fallon, Joey, I call it dead weight. No blink yet. Oh, oh, oh. I'm a pap-matic, so. Let's get more booze up in here.

We should. Yeah. Here's two cases of high noons under the podium. Good God. Ian, go help your ass. Melt your ass. Don't call Hattie. Hard and jarred.

Dirty biscuits. You're out on the strength of your man. You chad neither. Nobody likes you. You make me want to fight you. You look like a... Dude, he hasn't blinked yet. Trey Pound long.

You can't get gritty now. Because if I was on Star up in Jersey Jersey I would've never let my city down You remind me of Brandy Wanna be down ass Bro he hasn't blinked the entire time Is he off of Billy Bean or what? No dude This is before the beans were popping

Oh shit Couldn't even get This is like 08 bro You couldn't get a beam D you can't just not blink You gotta need enhancement I like that bro Dudes were that thorough back there

Dude, you should be real thorough like it's URL thorough Run in your house LaBeouf Warren a is fitted on the runway for the Even Stevens movie. Dead serious. LaBeouf did? Can you prove that? He probably liked re-dollars. Probably. Time's on.

It's like we rob bulls. Dude, that was a cool-ass time, dude. I think Nick could have made it as a rapper. Probably could have. If you really put a sign in. If you had loved battle rap at an early age, I think you could have been it as a rapper. Probably could have. If you really put a sign in. If you had loved battle rap at an early age, I think you could have been in the battle rap game. My dad didn't let me get...

He did his Bad Boys for Life album. My dad wouldn't let me buy it. But he bought me ACDC Highway to Hell instead. And that changed the trajectory of my life. Damn, dude. He was like, you're going to be late. Good ass album. Shouts to Pop.

Shouts to pop. I was listening to some ACDC yesterday in the Iron Jungle. What songs? Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution. I love that their song titles are just their choruses, and that's what they repeat. Every single one. What should a song title be? I like song titles that have nothing

to do. Chop Suey. Yeah, what did that have to do with the song? I think the song was about suicide and so they just did Suey. The only difference between suicide and the mantra job

is past coverage. Yeah, you beat them to it. That's kind of our bit that they kind of stole from us, kind of. Suicide is a good-ass bit, though. We're late enough where this couldn't make

the one hour. No, no, this is Yak After Dark. After After Dark, this is Yak after dark. After after dark. This is Yak early in the morning. Let's all say a slur. Ooh, we'll sing them.

Oh, shit. Hey. Hey. Let's go. Get it up, get it up, get it up. It's probably my favorite Armenian band. Oh, it's Carafun. Oh, we're doing Carafun?

What is this? It's Chop Suey. You've got to sing it when the time is right. It's loading. Here we go, here we go. I've been 1990 3090

303090 Can we run that? Probably not. Let's get self-righteous suicide though. Wake up! Grab a bunch of I don't know Someone do it.

You wanted to. Bro, I gave the first part. I don't know why you're not giving. Hide the scars to fit. You sing every song the same way. I don't think you trust in myself. It's righteous suicide. It was our way.

I don't think you trust in myself. Have you never heard this song? I cry when angels deserve to die I'm using the cadence of cute without the E. Are you as well? He is. Wait, bro. These dudes are talking about putting on makeup?

Oh. Hey, yo. Pause, bro. The fuck, bro? Do some more karaoke. Go to the most popular one they have. I didn't know Joey Comast was listening to this stuff. How old was I?

Yeah. I started listening to music like that in probably like seventh grade. Zombie. Rules. Rights free shit, bro. They can't be mad if we use the words. Cara fun. Sass, take us home, Sass. I'm not starting it off. Writes free shit bro They can't be mad if we use the words Caraphone Sass take us home

I'm not starting it off Get us to a million Another We should get you some Alanis Would you Morissette with us? My Dolores Another How does it go? And swing slower Would you Morissette with us? Hey, Ted. My Dolores. Another.

How does it go? Swaying slower. That's Donda. You're singing Donda. In your guns. Is this like about Ireland or some bullshit? Famine. Is it?

They make badass songs about like some pussy shit happening in Ireland. Dude, the potato famine is a sham. That's an island. Catch a fish. One time, when they lose the ability to dock a boat. The violence

cause of silence. Oh, I'm mistaken. Mistaken. Silence, cause of silence. Mistaken. Mistaken. Mistaken. But you see, it's not me. It's not my family.

In your head, in your head, they are fighting. With their bones and their bombs and their guns in your head, in your head. And you're cracking. In your head, in your head. Zombie, zombie. Sing it to your laptop. Zombie, it's in your head. In your head. Zombie, zombie, zombie.

Baby shark. Baby shark. Mommy shark. Baby shark. Mommy shark. In your head. Rob, you're right fucking now. All right, let's pull up another one. We're not going to get a million points. Here we are.

What was that? You have to. Throw me that baby again. The mother's breaking heart is taking over. Zombie. Bro, you could have been a battle rapper too with that voice. With your stage presence. Let's pull up the second.

Let's pull up some other ones. I love a little karaoke. I would do Rusted Root. I would do Alanis. Of course you would. How about A Thousand Years? We're already on most of it. When you've only got a thousand years.

Oh, that's a hundred years, brother. What if I told you you only had a thousand years to make? Oh, let's do Tears in Heaven. That would be a fun one. Put your hand in my pocket. No, don't do Tears in Heaven. What's Tears in Heaven about? It's about a dead baby.

Eric Clapton killed his kid, I think. You pushed him out a window? Yeah. What did you say that one time? He said that all of his songs were about his kid. His kid dying. Different dead kids of his. All the same window.

And he had like 140 songs in his discography. Yeah, probably. Whoa. Yep. Yep. Whoa. Yep. Yep. Who is she? Find her. Send out the smoke patrol.

It's discount Jenny Slate. Oh, don't send it. Yeah, we're going to need her ad. I fucking hate when people say that. They are fighting. Who the fuck was that girl from the ad? Who draws her thumbnail? Please put that as the thumbnail for this epi.

We gotta take some lessons from Instagram for those who are wondering. Don't worry, I found the IG. Yeah. Doing God's work. You look tan, Ron. Three doors down. I looked tan for two days straight and I haven't seen the sun for four months. You haven't seen the sun in three damn days.

Happiness looks good on you, Ben. Three damn days. I think it's my ear infection manifesting to the rest of my skin. We're getting there, boys. We're making good progress. Are we making good progress? No, but it's... Oh, whoa!

We lost nine. We lost nine. We lost nine. Lost nine? Shit. Anybody else want another drink? Yeah, big time. Set me up one, Nick. Can you set me up a bottle to piss in?

Disappear now that I'm dreaming of your face. Your face. I'll be without you, baby. But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight

And tonight It and tonight, it's only you and me. Oh. You want that crown of thorns? Oh. Keep pushing it, Zah. We're pushing it, Zah. Let's give Zah a drink.

Miles just keep rolling as the people leave the say hello. Yay! Yay! Life is overrated but I hope that it gets better

as we go. Oh yeah. I'm here without you, baby. But you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you, baby. And I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you, baby.

But you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, only you and me. Oh, I know. Anywhere I

go, it's hard, but it won't take away my love. Oh, it's hard, but it won't take away my love. Come on in, Cade. When the last one falls. When it's all said and done. It's hard, but it won't take away my love. Whoa.

Whoa. You need to hear it. You need to hear it. Whoa. Wait for it. Wait for it. Here we go. Last hook. Take us home.

I'm here without you, baby. But you're still on my lonely mind without you baby and I dream all the time without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams

and tonight girl it's only you and me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Have a high noon, Kate. You're not about to get away with just making fun of us. Have a high noon with us.

Have a high noon. Pete, you and Kate come in. Have a high noon. We'll have a silly afternoon. You're the best singer in the office. We're like, wait until everybody's done. Okay. Pick a song. What do you want? What's your best song the office. We're like, wait until everybody's done. Okay, pick a song.

Oh, what do you want? What's your best song? Wait, Kate, Kate, I don't think so. I don't think you're going to Grinch off. Kelly. Remix to Ignition? No, but something you can sing. Something that showcases your voice.

I'm not trying to be rude. How about this? Oh, you need to hear the music, too. Grab a seat. It's only you and me. I'm here without you, baby. We could just do Friday Vibes. Hit a damn.

We hit a log jam. Copyright-free karaoke. Log damn. Bro, it's a power hour now. You have Riggs' phone number? Shot a beer every minute? You have Riggs' phone number? I do.

Give me. Okay. Give me, give me, I do. Give me. Okay. Give me, give me, give me. Give me, give me, give me. Why don't you introduce yourself to the people who don't know you? What's up? Brendan Jones,

4Play producer. Brendan was... You're the longest tenured 4Play producer. You guys usually quit pretty early on. Me and Jake Bass. Yeah.

You were just editing a video. What course were you guys at? You had incredible drone footage. Have you... Like Frankie riding in a golf course on a golf cart? Yeah, we were with Tommy Fleetwood on the PGA Tour.

Fleetwood Mac. Let's put on some Fleetwood Mac. Good call. Yeah, good call. There it is. We were in Jupiter, Florida. Back in the back. Tommy Fleetwood, what does he have, like, 260,000 on Twitter, something like that?

Who does? Tommy Fleetwood? I don't know. Tommy Fleetwood. Tommy Fleetwood's got, like, no, I think he has about 260,000. He's not that social. Well, why don't you check? Why don't you no, I think he has about 260,000. He's not that social. Like you just watched him now. Why don't you check?

I feel like you know the exact figure. He doesn't really tweet too much. Why don't you check that, Brendan? Yeah. Reach out my hand. You want to rust it real bad, don't you? Say it. Oh, man.

Say it. 249. I was in the ballpark. How did you know that? I was in the right ballpark It's wild You know what else is wild That you're about to put us on to a fucking Gem of a tune

You have the Je Ne Sais Quoi Should I pick? You have the I don't know if you know Fleetwood Mac Now here we go again. Oh, he is the best singer in the office. I want your freedom.

Oh, yeah. He found it. And who am I to keep you down? He's a subscriber. Brendan Jones, ladies and gentlemen. Brendan Jones. Brendan Jones. Woo!

Brendan Jones. It's all about me. Well, we're going to let Joe lead. There it is. That's right. Yes, sir. That's the words? Yes, bro.

I actually don't know this song at all. But it sounds good still. I'll take over. Hit it. Who did you know this part? What you do? This song is hard to sing. Maybe something else.

No, get to the chorus. Thunder. Oh, that's it. What happens when it rains? No, you weren't kidding. That's it. There it is. Real quiet.

Players only love you when you're playing. That's true, too. Oh, he's singing the harmony line. Yeah. Come when they will go. He's singing it in a minor key. I feel like I'm a background singer. It's nice, though.

You're a foreground singer. Sass jumped in and he was like, I was like, I'll just stay back here. Talk about the time when Sass tried to lobby for a spot on foreplay, being like, I used to play golf. I heard you could swing it. I can swing. Do you still?

No. But he sent the tape to Riggs, and I guess Riggs denied him or some shit like that. Riggs said I didn't have what it takes. And it was nothing about the swing. It was about being able to talk about golf, being able to kind of dap up golfers. They said I wasn't nearly electric enough. Your dap wasn't clean enough.

And it's all about who's got the cleanest dap. When was the last time you played, Seth? He said Tiger would hate me. Really? Yeah. He loves us, though. Last time I played was... Because his mom's a cocktail waitress.

Senior year of high school. So, like, a couple months ago. A little self-deprecating from Sass? Yeah, Sass. He's grown before our eyes. We'll get you on a video. We do a lot of them. He keeps on buzzing the tower.

He couldn't be more desperate for some booze. Me? No, Pete. Oh. Yeah, he keeps walking by. He's hungry for it. He couldn't be more desperate for some booze. Me? No, Pete. Oh. Yeah, he's walking by. He's hungry for it. Pete wants the booze badly. We'll say last time I was on the Yak, Brandon Walker thought I was an intern.

Are you not? No. I was probably eight months deep. Okay. It was super long for somebody in my position. What do you understand? How foreplay guys tend to drop pretty quick. You look older

than the average intern. Right? I'm 28 years old. Is it true that Riggs bullies out most of the foreplay producers? No. I don't know.

What's the haze What happens to them then? How come they all quit? You can't cut it, man. I'm still here. You just gotta be... Because you know you know thyself.

You know what I mean? Some of these dudes don't know thyself and you came in knowing thyself. Right. It's not like Riggs' opinion or the foreplay guys in general's opinion of you is going to define you. No.

You know who you are. Riggs just wants a good product, and if somebody's not giving it to him, then he's going to be stirring with you. And if you can't handle it, then see you later. And that's why the Numbies are extraordinary. What's the meanest thing he's ever said to you? He doesn't really say mean things. What's like an average mean thing he says to you? Like what's the mean of the mean that he says to you? He doesn't really say mean things. What's like an average mean thing he says to you? Like, what's the mean of the mean

that he says to you? Oh, yes. I mean, it's really, it's not bad. He'll just be like, well, why'd you do that? It's like a tone. It's like a tone.

Just like, it's kind of charming when he says it. Why'd you do that? He's like, what are we doing here? I don't know. What are we doing here?

I'll change it, dude. No problem. Wild. Wild. That's old Riggs, though here? I'll change it, dude. No problem. Wild. Wild that you thought that was okay. That's old Riggs, though. Riggs has changed, dude. New and improved Riggs. He's a homeowner eight times over, something like that.

What, did he buy a development? I like the way you said that. Homeowner. Homeowner. He puts the homo in homeowner. The homo owner. The old rap battle joke from me, 2011, bro. 2011 was crazy.

You could say anything back then. I was nine. Were you? Yeah. I was 26. You were nine and 11? No, I was 10. You were nine and 11?

Nine and 11? Holy fuck, bro. Did you start growing a bush when you were nine and 11? Doubt it. Doubt it. Nah. Kyle has pubes. Does he?

Kyle has pubes. No, he has pubes. No chance. No chance. When did you see? The bits up. I didn't see. I felt.

Bits all up. Did you feel them? Yeah. Brendan, do you want a song? Or I feel like we're kind of... Wait a minute. We're wasting your... Stop.

Yeah, it's fine Yeah It's fine It's fine Fine You guys do any Shania Twain? Oh yeah yeah Let's do that We got it all baby Not man I feel like a woman

Let's do the Don't impress me much Yeah Yeah Oh so you're a What was it? Woman Oh so you're a foreplay producer?

Get it Oh so you got a golf cart Oh so you went to Harvard That don't impress me much What is your preferred genre What do you like to listen to When you're on the links Country on the links

Country on the links And who are we talking about Luke Combs Because he is going to be NASCAR 500 At the NASCAR 500 This weekend NASCAR 500 I love Luke Combs He he is going to be at NASCAR 500. At the NASCAR 500 this weekend. NASCAR 500.

I love Luke Combs. He comes out with the singles, like the bangers, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are your thoughts on Florida Georgia Line? They were good. When they first came on. I was the one that asked you. What's that?

Oh, did you? What are your thoughts on Florida Georgia Line? I don't do a ton of this radio stuff. Yeah, it's crazy. It kind of came out of my left ear. You're a natural for it, though. Thank you. Honestly, I think that

the whole foreplay shit is holding you back, bro. I'm going to talk to the boys over there and see if we can get you on them. Oh, it's all coming back to me now.

Oh, should I? Yeah. Okay. That's my only request. Oh, that's not moving you to foreplay. It would be awesome. He's handing you

out to Phoenix. That's Celine Dion. That's Dion. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? It's like Ray. This is don't. Don't cry too much.

Kyle, go ahead and do your Morissette. Your Morissette over a twain. Boys. You're still the one I remember. I got three bus pass. I got my eggs, got my pancakes too. I got my bus pass. I got my eggs, got my pancakes too. I got my maple syrup. Everything but you.

Was that Jack Johnson? There's a girl on TikTok popping off. That's fucking Jewel. Doing Morissette impressions. And I think yours are better than hers. What did you see that that kid, the kid who lives in the smallest apartment in New York, is like, apparently you said date Dixie D'Amelio in high school.

Axel Rod? Is that his name? He's from Georgia. Axel is sponsored by Samsung now. He still lives in a tiny apartment. With two iPhones. Yeah. The show is awesome.

Yeah. Bro, that's just how we give it up, bro. Somebody just says something, and then you just say, like... We bump on it. We just, like, kind of ride it. I watched, like, Pitch Perfect last night. Dude, I's just how we give it up, bro. Somebody just says something, and then you just say, like... We bump on it. We just, like, kind of ride it. I watched, like, Pitch Perfect last night. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I watched it last week.

I was just watching Pitch Perfect. The only movie I've ever walked out of was Pitch Perfect 3. Really? We're talking one, though. We're talking one. One is, like, an all-time. One is an all-time. The only movie I ever walked out of was Pitch Perfect 2.

Pitch Perfect 3, Return of the King. And, uh, do you know that scene when they're, like, in the pool? Yes, and they all, like, talk over each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, like, they pick up on, like, like the last thing they say and then they just go and like yes another song but then there's like that discrepancy in that scene where they're like you said like yeah i loves like in something some bullshit like that dude that that actually is the one part of that movie that pissed me off it's a good scene though and who's the kid that didn't make the acapella choir because he like wasn't cool enough or whatever yeah and then they brought him in at the end and now he's like a little solo you're the acapella choir because he wasn't cool enough or whatever? Yeah, and then they brought him in at the end.

And now he's like in Dear Evan Hansen. Yes. He was a magician in Pitch Perfect. Yes. Oh, you know what? They had him come out and sing. They had him come sing like, You got the magic in me.

Every time I touch a heart, it turns into gold. No, it turns to gold. Yeah, that type of shit. He came out and sang that at the end. I'll get you wet on my mind. That type of shit. Remember that scene where the earth is red? That song can just perfectly loop.

Yes. Remember that? Yeah. Remember when she sings the Eminem song? Which one? Cringe. Which one? She sings it.

In one. In one? Yeah. No part of one is cringe except for the kid not making it. When she sings the Eminem song? Which one does she sing? I forget. Andrew sings it. In one. In one? Yeah. No part of one is cringe, except for the kid not making it. Is it the Eminem song? Which one does she sing? I forget. Lose Yourself?

No. Is that in that same scene? No. No, it's in the pool. In the scene where they're doing the competition. They're all trading off songs about sex. That's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about.

It's in a pool? Let's talk about sex, baby. In an empty pool. It's in an empty pool, yeah. Live, you learn. It gets really awkward, but then you learn, you live. What Eminem song do they sing in there? I forget what song she sings.

Eminem doesn't have any songs about sex. Actually, his song's about the R word. I don't think it was. He has Gilbert. Clearly, you don't know 2011, Em. Don't even fucking front. Through a real sexual era. Don't even fucking front.

When you were nine? Yeah. Did you guys talk about, I saw something today that said Eminem gave up time during the Super Bowl to let 50 perform. Did you see that? I didn't see that. Yeah. I heard he gave up time to take a knee, though. Nope.

Which was a timely protest. Yeah. That was kind of fucked up. Bro, fucking racism's over, bro. Chill. I'm saying. We solved racism, bro. It says end racism. No, it's not. Uh, excuse me? over, bro. Chill. I'm saying. We solved racism, bro. It says end racism.

No, it's not. Excuse me? Eminem took a knee. What the fuck are you talking about? So we're not getting on a... It's all coming back to me. The boy wants to sing. I might get it to a million.

Now I'm like, I could leave at any moment. No, no, no. Let's keep it. Let's get it all coming back to me now. This is from Maine Barstool? Yeah. Holy shit. 400,000 before we switched from Sirius.

We're actually at a million when we switched. We're negative? Yeah. We're sub-zero. He wants to cut my head off, but I don't care. Here we go. Oh, boy. What do you think about this?

Let Brendan get this one, though, please. Let's let him. This is Brendan's, all right? I can start it. I can start it. I just need some help. Oh, this is too hard to sing. Shut up, KB.

No, it's not. Randy. Woo! DJ, that confused me. I thought that. All the tears turned to dust Just knew my eyes were drying up Forever I finished crying in the instant that you left And I can't remember when or when or how And I banished every memory you and I had ever made. Here we go.

Here's your time. Now's your time. When you touch me like this. You hold me like that. I just have to admit that it's all coming back. Yes, sir. I was loving this shit. It's all coming back.

And I hold you like that. Yes, Brendan. It's hard to believe, but it's all coming back. Everybody. It's all coming back. It's all coming back, all coming back to me now. There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light. There were things I'd never do again but then they'd always seem right.

There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than all your loudest woes. Brendan. Baby, baby, baby. If I kiss you like this, and if you whisper like that. It was long lost ago, but it's all coming back to me. If you want me like this, and if you need me like that, it was dead long ago, but it's all coming back to me. It's hard to resist, but it's all coming back to me.

I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now. Look at the numbers go up, bro. The numbers are flying up. coming back to me now. Look at the numbers go up, bro. Numbers are flying up. Look at how they fucking flock to us. Look how they come in, bro. Take us into the second verse, bro. I've been through history with the slamming of the door. And I made myself so strong again somehow.

With the Bob Dylan voice Never wasted any of my time on you since then But when you fuck me like this And you lick me like this Oh my god. You're sick. I did. So long ago, but it's all coming back to me. Lost one. We lost one. Get them back.

I kiss you like this. I kiss you like that. It was all gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me. It's all coming back. It's coming back to me. It's all coming back. It's coming back to me now. There were moments of gold, and there were flashes of light. There were things you could never do, but then there was light. There were nights of endless pleasure.

You were stronger than all your life. Oh, baby. Baby. When you touch me like this, and when you hold me like that, coming back to me, when you touch me like this, and when I see you like that And let me see you when we want to It's all coming back to me

The flash on the fantasies And it's all coming back to me I can barely recall But it's all coming back to me now. Start it from the top. If you forgive me all this, I'll forgive you all that. We forgive and forget. It's all coming back to me now

How? I'm too proud to let you know So it's all coming back to me now Yeah, that's some Pitch Perfect remix stuff. You've got very heavy Pitch Perfect brain. It's just on my mind. And if we

do it like this. W-W-W-K-A-R A-F-U-N dot C-O-M Kara fun dot com. Wow, KB. All right, that one moved on.

Brendan, are you ready to send in your resignation letter to Frankie and Trent and all them and let them know that you're going to migrate over towards the act now? Look, we have fun. You'll miss Trent, probably. I do. I'll miss them all. But especially who, though? Who especially are you going to miss? Who will you miss least? Especially. do. I'll miss them all. Especially who though? Who especially are you going to miss? Will you miss Least? Especially.

I don't know. Who especially? Because Least is given if they're not especially. I don't know dude. Trent? Have you guys had a meeting about Frankie's face? How big it is? How it's bad for the brand? How can we sell it?

How can we sell Frankie's face? How can we sell this fat face? This chin's sponsored by Taki's. What if we put a wheel on his face? Just spin it. He's not. It's his angles for him. He's shaped like a golf ball, kind of. Golf ball on a tee, kind of.

Should put his face on a tailor-made. Yeah, he does have a dimple, a cheek dimple, which is like the dimple of a golf ball, a little bit. Yeah he does have a dimple a cheek dimple which is like the dimple of a golf ball a little bit. So it fits. He's white. He is white.

Very white. Too white. A little too white. Racist. Kind of like bleh. Well golf isn't racist. No. VJ Singh bro.

Think about VJ Singh. I've been thinking about VJ for a long time. Should we get Rudy in here as well? Probably. We could swap out and do Rudy. One more song and close out? Oh, yeah.

We got to hit a milli. What do you mean close out? Rudy, got to hit a milli. Brendan, good luck with the NHL. Thank you, dude. Appreciate that. You are an emergency goalie for the Islanders. Yeah.

Holy shit. Holy shit. I knew this. What? I knew this. Maybe he's my friend. And you also are on the Czech lacrosse team in 2028 or some shit like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You too? You're asking for everybody. And you're running the marathon in Berlin with O'Day. Yes. When is that? That's soon. I should go. I should go for a run.

You're a good liar. You're a good man. You're a good man. I'm not a good man. I gotta go edit. Give it up for Brendan. Thank you, man. It's all coming back to me now. That's my girl's karaoke song.

Your girl. Oh, you should have shouted at his girl. Hey. Drop the name. Hey. Let's pull up the insert. Let's critique.

I hope the Reddit didn't already find his out. It's all right. He's already been found,. Let's critique. I hope the Reddit didn't already find his out. It's all right. He's already been found, brother. He looks like I think I look like when I mix benzos and booze. That's what you think you look like? Why? Oh, honey.

When I'm hyped up, I think I look like you. Rudy, we're not ending this show until we get- We got to get a million. I need to stop talking. Your voice was on the lag. Nicky can't speak. Let's play some Oculus. We're ending this show when we get a million subscribers.

We need 1180. No, 1180. Can we text Dave and say, can we call you? I could easily do that. You already called him. Tell Austin. Austin never tweeted the clip. He said he was going to tweet it. He just didn easily do that. You already called him. Rudy, I bet you Dave would pick up for you. Where's Austin? Austin never tweeted the clip. He said he was going to tweet it. He just didn't do it. Austin has Dave's

login? Yeah. Well, then just skip the middleman and tell him to do that. Dave being the middleman of his own. He's in the chat right now. Dave's in the chat? Austin, tweet it. We did what you asked for us to do. Austin, we will get out of here. We need these subs. TJ, can I come back there

and I can run some Apex? You're an itch, bro. You're so coming back to me now. You've been playing Apex lately? Oh, yeah. He's been living it for months. I haven't played Apex in a long time.

Rudy, what's your karaoke song? My go-to karaoke song is Hey Ma by Cameron. Good wedding song. I can rap all that. That or Party Up In Here by DMX. Doobie Rinning. Boobies Grinning.

We got to really belt it out. I'm not good at singing. That's why I do What I Got by Sublime. Spread up her lips. She had that Gucci linen. I see Boobie Grinning. What are they even talking about with Boobies Grinning? Our number's about to be at a palindrome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit, bro. This is that sublime shit, bro. I love sublime. Life is, it's what I got. Rising to the street. Light me up that cigarette. My boy.

Shoes on my feet. Got to find a reason. A reason things went wrong. Got to find a reason. A reason things went wrong. Got to find a reason. The money's all gone. I got a donation. And I can still get high. I can play the guitar like a mother.

Sing the guitar part. Down, down, down, down, down, down. Ta, ta, ta, down, down, down. Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Wee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo-dee-oo. Buh, buh, buh. I like this. I don't know what you got, cause you might get run over or you might get shot.

I'm so ecstatic, I just get it off my chest. Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest. Take a small example, take a tip for me. Take up all your money, give it all to charity I tried to do Jamaican This is a white guy This is a man named Brad You got what you deserve

Try and test that, you're bound to get served Love's what I got, don't start a riot You'll feel it when the dance gets hot I'm in, I'm in It's what I got I said remember that I'll be a pussy now, KB. I'm in, I'm in. I want one KB Morris. I said remember that loving is what I got. I said remember that loving is what I got. I said remember that love is what I got.

I got, I got, I got. Well, I don't cry when my dog runs away. Don't get angry at the bills I have to pay Don't get angry when my mom smokes pot It's the bottle and right to the rock Fucking fighting, it's all the same Living with the Louis dogs, only way to stay sane And let the loving, loving, loving come back to me

Subscribe right fucking now Said remember. Subscribe right. Fucking now. Said remember that. Subscribe right. Fucking now. I said remember that. Subscribe. Fucking now. I said remember that.

Loving. It's what I got. I said remember that. I like how you go like an Irish sublime. Oh, yeah. Raw of hand is what I've got. I said, remember that. Rudy, tell the story about when you tried to describe one of Lil Sass's tweets to your family at Thanksgiving and they didn't get it.

Oh, that's a crazy. How do you remember that? I have a fucking steel trap, bro Yeah, one time I was talking to Roan about How just extreme The extreme amount of time that we spend on the internet And that you assume that everyone else in the world Also spends that amount of extreme time

And I was at Thanksgiving dinner And I was talking to my family And I was explaining to someone who I was just explaining twitter and like you know some like new hires we got or something and i was like yeah we got this like kid that i've i've seen on the internet for a long time like he's got like a good following you guys probably heard of him his name is little sasquatch like he does like funny photoshops and tweets and they looked at me like i had like a hundred fucking heads like you got you like you hired a guy that was actually

like little sasquatch and And then I pulled up a tweet. I don't remember what it was. I was like, look, this is what he does. Dixie D'Amelio's shaking her ass in the White House on January 6th. I had to use someone they knew, like Mincy, to explain who he was. They know Mincy. Yeah, you know Mincy, right? So they work with Mincy.

And then it contextualized it immediately. Yeah, it was awkward. But, yeah, I was trying to preach the SAS gospel to my family. They weren't having it. It's a damn shame. Other thoughts on Nicky? Nicky Clicky, old St. Click. I'm saving that one for when I go home this week.

Yeah, that's a sit-down talk with the parents. You talk to your parents about Nicky Clicky. There's that Adam Sandler movie about Nick. Yeah. Little Nicky. Or Nick Click. There's actually a Sandler movie about Nick. Yeah. Little Nicky. Or no, Click. There's actually a gang of Adam Sandlers. I never saw Little Nicky.

It freaked me out. Why? Because it's about the devil? No, just because the face he makes is fucked up. Yeah, it looks like he has some sort of palsy. Yeah, I was just like, no. This is not the Sandler I subscribe to. He looks like LaBeouf in...

He looks like True Confessions. The guy with palsy who does 5Ks and finishes them in 24-12. The guy that played The Mountain in Game of Thrones has a palsy. Mountain? Yeah, half his face went paralyzed from deadlifting. What did he play? It has to be from deadlifting. Was the character named Mountain?

Yeah. Never watched GOT? No, I saw Hodor or whatever. You probably wouldn't get it. He's a DJ. Highbrow DJ. Yeah. Never watched GOT? No. I saw Hodor or whatever. You probably wouldn't get it. He's a DJ. Highbrow shit. Yeah. Hodor is?

Yeah, Hodor's gay as well. That's far. I agree. Aren't we all? Dude, you know what's gay? That Joey Kamasta acts like he doesn't fuck. That's the gayest thing that he does. He said he doesn't fuck since 2015.

Yeah. Yeah, he said that to me. He says he does everything else. I was stunned into silence. He's also lying. Yeah. That's- Yeah, he said that to me. He says he does everything else. I was stunned into silence. The thing is, like... He's also lying. Yeah. That's...

Yeah, he's lying. That's just not sweet. Does that count as celibate if you do everything else but don't fuck? I think so. He said he got bootcockied on a parking deck.

That's cool. I think they have so many things to do other than standard penetration. So do we. We have more. We have more. Come on in. Come on in. You have more. We have more. Come on in.

Come on in. We have goon pits. The grass is always greener. Let's get this guy in here. Yeah, let's get him. I'm just thinking through holes now. Let's get this guy in here. Look how many of them there are.

Grab a seat, brother. What's up, man? We're chopping it up. Chopping it up. Your flow looks incredible. We're doing really, really good. And it's kind of windy out today, and it's maintained.

Yeah, yeah. Right into the mic. Is that a moose you know what xr volume there's a couple different things going on a little bit of a pomade a little bit of some sort of gel too what do you apply or do you use them in yeah you gotta go you gotta go pomade first and then the gel to just keep things held intact a little bit how wet when you start you certainly apply damp right slightly damp yeah if it's too wet it's it's a mess so but i mean there's something genetic held intact a little bit. How wet when you start? Yeah, you certainly apply damp, right? Slightly damp. Yeah, if it's too wet, it's a mess. But I mean, there's something genetic going on too.

You have the hairline of a Jewdice, Teresa Jewdice or something from Real Housewives. Okay, yeah, yeah. It's definitely not receding. We'll say that. Oh, I think it's prehensile. It's going forward. It'll soon annex your eyebrows.

Eat up your face. You remember the QVC product, the Bump It? No, what's the Bump It? Oh, yes. Put it under your head. You know what? The only brand I promote is No Days Wasted. We're a sponsor of Spittin' Chicklets,

and we've been with you guys at Barstool for a little while. Is that your? That's my brand. It's your brand. No Days Wasted. No Days Wasted. So we have a recovery set, and we essentially help break down the toxic byproducts of alcohol so you feel good after drinking.

Oh, hello. That's genius. I'm glad we got that off our chests in here. There we go. No free ads, right? But you can't. It'd be unfair if you promoted a hairstyling brand because it would kind of give the implication that everybody else could achieve that volume. Not everybody can do that. And even if you use wood grooming products, which are like the best, highest-end grooming

products on the market, we still wouldn't be able to achieve hair that close to God. You're right, but I mean, it's worth a shot, right? It's worth a shot. It's always worth trying. Yeah, exactly. Well, you're coming in the lobby at 4 o'clock on a Friday. Yeah. Who are you here for?

Terrence. Terrence is taking meetings at 4 o'clock on a Friday? Yeah, the guy's working for? Terrence. Terrence is taking meetings at 4 o'clock on a Friday? Yeah, the guy's working hard, man. He's busting his ass. Who? Terrence who? Terrence Walsh.

Rico's real name? I don't know. Florence and the Machine? Hell yes, dude. What else do you have to plug, dude? Let's get our plugs off, dude. We're making our way towards a milli.

And we did go up 20 subscribers when your last head was off. As soon as your coif was off. Oh, my gosh. Okay, okay. Your coif is doing numbies right now, bro. Do you let that dry? Do you hang off your bed upside down or something? Yeah, what are you on, some bat shit?

You know what? The longer it's gone, the more time it takes to dry. If you guys have any suggestions, I'm open to it because this long hair thing is kind of new for me. I think hop on a ferry and just ride for about three hours on the ferry. The natural air. Sea wind, yeah. Sea wind because there's a salt in the air. Also, you definitely trim the back too.

You tighten up the back, keep the length in the front. Yeah. Am I lying? No, no, no. It's important. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And that's where the flow comes from.

There we go. Shout out the flow. There you go. Shout out to the flow. The flow is the way to do it. Send Terry our best. I, for sure. And that's where the flow comes from. There we go. Dude, shout out the flow. There you go. Shout out to the flow. The flow is the way to do it. Send Terry our best. I will for sure. Hell yes, bro.

Appreciate you coming in. Awesome. Thank you, guys. Of course, man. See you next time. See you next time. Dude, watch that number climb up. Oh, good shit.

Yes, sir. Gotta take some credit. Some dudes have all the luck. That was such nice hair. Some guys get all the hair. We really need Dave to tweet this clip out. Yeah. So we can get this last thousand, bro, because this last thousand is...

Has anyone talked to Austin? I wouldn't call it a slog. He was in the chat before. He said he would tweet a clip out when we called him. Oh, we're trending, though, on Twitter right now off of this, though. Really? Jay just texted the group chat that Barstool is trending because of what we're doing. It could be a number of things.

No, it's this, dude. Some guys do nothing but complain. Trending. 145 tweets. Oh, I know. It's 2,000. Hell yes. So I got these Embrace the Sock socks on.

These are from the Boss Lady. These are... Oh, these are nice. They're Erica underscore socks. That's a real good scheme. Those are cool shoes. The Hair Jordans. I wear these about once or twice a year.

Why today? I just needed a zhuzh. The all black outfit kind of needed a little bit of a spike of creativity. A little pop. What do you know about a little pop? Guys, we still have like a thousand. That's me.

Your little pop to put on prints? Put on prints. No, but it's going to happen off of our watch otherwise. I know. This has to be the reason. What other famous friends do you guys have? What about Chet? Can you guys hit up Chet?

Oh, wait. You guys are late for your thing. Yeah, we are late. You're 15 minutes late for your thing. That's why I have all my rewards in the tower. He's supposed to be getting a tattoo of Swedish Chef from the Muppets at 4. No. You're getting all a sideways glance.

I should have been modding my bod already. Can you call Austin at least and maybe he can kick it over to Dave? Yeah, I'm begging you. I'm begging you. Anybody have his number? Drew, do you want to go get a tattoo with us? You don't have any, do you? I have zero tattoos.

You know that band's based out of Rome? Put your loving arms out, baby. That song existed like five years ago. Want me to call Austin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it on speaker, too, because his semi-tall ass was capping. Does he know this is coming at all? He's just straight up tall.

He's tall. He was in the chat before talking about it. He's not tall. He's semi-tall. He's just straight up tall. He's tall. He was in the chat before talking about it. He's not tall. He's semi-tall. He's tall presenting. Love is, it's what I got. Young King. What's up, dude?

Hey, no, no, no, wait. You got to tell him. Yeah, we're on the- Live tape, live tape, live tape. Oh, okay. That's not a necessary- So, we're trying to get to a million subscribers. We're about a thousand away. You're still live? Oh, yeah, okay. That's not a necessary. So we're trying to get to a million subscribers. We're about a thousand away.

Yeah, are you still live? Oh, yeah, buddy. You said you'd boost it, Austin. Yeah, so. Fucking play us. Yeah, we need a boost from you. We haven't called him yet. We did call him.

Yeah, I called him. He answered in a way. Sent it to voicemail. He acknowledged. I respect you enough to just hit you back later. Yeah, so he sent it to voicemail. I don't know if you heard any of that. No. Yeah, he sent it to voicemail. He acknowledged you. I respect you enough to just hit you back later. Yeah, so he sent it to voicemail. I don't know if you heard any of that. Yeah, he sent it to voicemail.

So basically, listen, man, we know you got the keys to the kingdom. Just jump in the front seat. Lock it, bro. Jump in the front seat. Drive. Launch a tweet and get us out of here. My mind's moving a mile a minute. I think I'm maybe hit a biz.

We're a thousand away, dude. Just one tweet. Sub to the Barstool Sports YouTube channel from the big man. With a link. You're not abusing the power of that. You're not,000 away, dude. Just one tweet. Sub to the Barstool Sports YouTube channel from the big man. With a link. You're not abusing the power of that. You're not abusing the power. It's the opposite of abusing. That's caressing the power.

It's about Barstool. It's nurturing the power. Just lost one since Austin's negativity. Oh, we got him back. Oh, we got him back. We got some Austin heads in the subs. Are you there, Austin? What were they saying?

They're mad at you. They're mad at you because you you're saying you're abusing your we're about to be at a sacred number 998998 awesome palindrome

998998 not a palindrome not a palindrome not a palindrome it's just a pattern it is a pattern though can you hear him now Austin yeah I can hear him

okay yeah listen Austin this is helping Barstool it's for the Barstool Sports YouTube channel Dave would do that no matter what it's good for everybody.

I don't know. Unless he's changed. This guy, man. What a million. That's more than a plaque. You get a big crystal play button, right? You're not in a bell, but you're in a plus three. What do you get?

Trio. You get a gold plaque. As soon as he said, I don't know. A big gold plaque. A gold plaque? A gold plaque. Austin, you can take credit for it, too. You did this.

Or you've never done anything. I guess it's... Oh, it's going down. We're losing subscribers. Okay, this sucks. Yeah, Nancy. All right, cut him off. Cut him off.

He's not an ally. And they're going down. We're losing. Going down. Can you ban him from the chat? Ban Austin from the chat. Yeah. Let's check in on r slash no pubes and see what's going on.

Sorry about that, guys. I thought he was going to say yes. No, he's... Rudy, are you excited to stock up on St. Patrick's Day merch from the Barstool Sports Store? I am, yeah. Look how much we've lost, dude. We've lost 10... Oh, fuck.

We've lost 11 subscribers since Austin talked. We have to go record this thing. We do. Damn. But I don't want to. We're in a rock and a hard place. KB put me on to no pubes. All right, that's one for KB.

Put on prints. Puts positive persona for pubeless people. That's a nice alliteration. Prayers up for my guy, Kyle. He tries to get offers from pubic alopecia. No, I don't One thought he'd finally spread a pube It was just a stray that he picked up from a public toilet seat

Look at the numbers go down Oh my god Fuck How is this happening? I don't know Was there just a genocide somewhere? He's gotta be a hippie And isn't it ironic?

I think they're doing it to fuck with us now Don't you think? Yeah they're fucking God damn it That was the Austin Don't you think? Yeah, they're fun. God damn it. That was the Austin effect. That shit's not funny. He's an energy vampire. That shit is not funny at all. It's funny.

No, stop saying that. It's kind of funny. It's very, very, very funny. I'm getting a good kick out of it. Welcome back. Okay, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Oh, no.

There's hundreds unsubscribing. Bye-bye. One stoolie just making a million accounts. Bye-bye. Fight back. Fastoolie. Oh, see you later. Fastoolie, put it on for us.

Oh, no. If this goes down to 960, we're in boys. All right, I'll give ultimatum. We either get to a million or we get to 990,000. All right, so if we could lose 66. Oh, my God. I mean, it'd be funny if we hit zero. Yeah, let's get this to zero.

You have another bottle of tequila, hun? You do? Mike's got Grey Goose at the counter. Come on, now. You been boozing? Boy. Oh, yes. Fellas been drinking.

I threw my neck out this morning. Doing what? Eating pussy? Yeah. The garbage? What are you on the... Shit. Fuck you do. Yeah what? Eating pussy? Yeah. In the garbage? What are you on the... Fuck you do. You about to smoke a cig? Yeah, I'm about to smoke

a cig. I'd smoke a cig. Why do flies always gravitate toward me? No, I had one earlier. Fruit fly. I haven't seen a fly in a minute. It's not a fruit fly. Was that nuggets of cig? I thought it was pre-rolled cig. Horse fly. I gotta roll it up myself. Pack a lip. Smell this.

Smell it. Smell this cigarette. Are you ready? Loud. That was funny. Packing a lip of a nug. Would that do anything? Oh, yeah, bro.

You could just put weed in like a cake, like a fucking Italian tradition. Yeah, then you're ingesting it. Just biting a nuggy of weed. That's time my buddy tried to make edibles on a, he tried to make like brownies and he cooked them

on a grill. On a grill? Outside? Because he didn't want to make them inside because he didn't want to smell up his house. State fair shit.

Yeah, that's, uh. Put Keith in your eyelid. You didn't even deep fry it? I saw a guy snort Keith once. You snorted Keith once? I didn't. I saw a guy do it, and he got so, so, so baked. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.

For sure, for sure. What if Big Cat could, like, bump it? I didn't even think about him. What about you guys? I want to pester you. I have tweeted it. Maybe you could just retweet the tweet that I had. I'm not trying to clutter the TL.

Nick hasn't cluttered the TL in a whole year. Maybe we should go the Nelk route and be like, if we get to a million subscribers, we'll bring five virgins to Vegas. Five virgins of what? Virgin males. Oh, shit. They do that. That's their kind of thing.

It's awesome. They want to see their boys bust. If we get a million subscribers. Let's do a wheel with a million people on it. We'll hire the person it lands on. Can you add? How big is it? TJ will do a million. We should start wet wheeling

now. Let's get some wet wheels. Let's do a 1 in 20 wet wheel to close off the Friday. 1 in 20 wet wheel. 1 in 20 wet wheel. And we'll spin it until it hits. Dude, we went Rogi's hours. Low key, we are on some Rogi shit right now. And when you look at it, it's easy, bro.

All you have to do is black out every day. People are on the knob of Rogues. All right, let's hit this. Come on, boys. Show me that Digi chain. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na this. Come on, boys. Show me that digi chain. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Dang. We got to pump it up.

Don't you know pumping up. Dude, we're going to hit it. We got to pump it up. Don't you know pumping up. We got to pump it up. Don't you know pumping up. Uh-oh. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Just 994 more people and we're fucking there? Stop, bro. Push it. We need to push ourselves, Sass. Sass, dig deep a little bit. Dig deep a little bit. I know that you are pushing yourself really hard and I appreciate it.

I just need a little bit more of a push from you. Dig deep. Sass, please. You got this. You can keep potting. You're barely here. You're barely here. Slumped. You can keep potting. You're barely here. You're barely here. You can keep streaming.

This is way harder than any blue collar work. It's way harder than construction work. Whatever type of Jersey Jerry shit that was on that drove him to substance abuse, this is harder than that. There's no hard hat for mean comments, man. It's fucked up.

It is. I'm just going to nap for a minute. Hey, chill out, chill out. Bro, plug in, bro. We need you to. Wait, are we getting 100 quick? Yes, we are. We are about to hit 100.

All right, all right, all right. We're good. We're going to hit it. Boys, come on. Let's do this thing. Let's get a Millie. Let me lob a retweet. All right.

Yes, sass. Yes, sass. Let me get us out of here. Come on. Free us. All right. Yes, sass. Yes, sass. Let me get us out of here. Come on. Free us. Free us. Save us, daddy. Thank you, Harry.

Is there any high noon in there? No. Yeah. Yes. Get one. I'll pop one. We're almost there, bro. Don't make us go back to karaoke because we will.

Where is the passion you needed the most? And we're back. Oh. Laying it down. You had a bad day. Come on. You didn't get a million subscribers. Powder doesn't do this for us.

I just texted. If we don't get a million by the end of Powder, we're all going to quit. All right. Just lobbed out a tweet. Walk on your dome. Wait, Big Cat just did it. Yep. Come on, Viva.

Come on. The skies turn to gray. It's happening. I'll fucking sing this. I also just did. I'm going to break my singing silence. It's happening. Okay, we got to shit. He's got to take a poop.

Why is he running so fast? He's got poop. And as a lion just did a doodle. Oh, oh. Oh, when you're gone. Fifty. Making a smile when they call me to go. Oh, 49 more, boys.

What a number. Nine hundred40 more. Falling to pieces every time. And I don't need no care at all. Here we are. You had a bad day. You're taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around.

You say you don't know. You tell me don't lie. You work out a smile just to go for a ride. You had you don't know. You tell me don't lie. Work out a smile just to go for a ride. You had a bad day. The camera don't lie. You come back now and you're really fine. You had a bad day. You really need

some peace. Mincy? Mincy Wood? Yeah. Man, we just took another one? Oh, you're taking my new chance. It's just I knew it. Our hour.

Subscribe right now. Imagine, you could be the millionth subscriber. Whoa! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!!! Holy fuck It's exhilarating On the road You're taking one down You sang a sad song Just turn it around You don't know

You tell me don't lie We're gonna smile When you go for a ride Fuck off No no no Fuck you We just got like a hundred Oh, you guys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck you. You got plenty of time, baby. Because we just got like 100, and now they're all.

Oh, you guys were just blown away by the number change. We got like six. 999-094. You might not make it a third of the field. No way you're going to be where I'm strong. And I'm not wrong. Yeah. So where is the passion you need it the most?

Where's the passion? Oh. You pick up the leaves and the magic is lost. Magic is lost. Five, six, seven, eight. Hey, you're taking one down. You sang a sad song just to sing it around. And if it don't load, and if it don't light,

you've got to smile and you go for a ride. You had a bad day. You've seen what you like. And how does it feel? One more time. You had a bad day You've seen what you're like And how does it feel One more time You had a bad day You had a bad day That's where your boys

Said they were rolling in They were They came in hot I know They're here From the main, sis? Please From the main

Want to go home? And you will. And you really will. Oh, God. You're home. You're home. Oh, he's about to. Oh, man.

Let's take a little intermission on singing just so when we sing Alabama, Arkansas, it hits. I think Alabama, Arkansas is going to be the song that takes us from 999-700 to the finish line. Had a bad day. Oh, sorry. I forgot we were pausing. No, we can sing that, but just not Alabama, Arkansas. That is a banger. We're giving a tour, too.

Hello. That appears to be... Looks like Moist Critical. I wouldn't say. I think that's one that's ambiguous enough where you don't say. Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't say. I think that's ambiguous enough where you don't say. That's only... You're still trying to beat it.

Sass, can I get a vape? Yo, hit this man with a vape. Sass, break him off with a fucking vape. Hit this man a vape stat. We gotta fucking record. Stop, bro. Focus on our task at hand, and we'll get us 800 subs then.

Turn that completely sideways. I want to see what that looks like from the side. Also think how tight it'll be when it gets to a million. You can play on milli by Lil Wayne. Think about how cool that'll be. That would be pretty fucking cool. We'd have to do the karaoke version. Brandon, come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here. What a summon. Come on in. Brandon come here come here come here come here what a summon come on in come on in hello Kalen AB used to summon brother got too

fucking drunk and had to leave aww white girl wasted you ever seen him wasted before yeah I've had to Uber him home before damn wait a minute

you had to Uber him home are you an Uber driver yeah you were the Uber driver I'm an Uber What a coincidence My own brother What's up? What was he messed up off of when you had to Uber him home?

It was a shot from the Yak Live show Oh What a night Single shot? Yeah, single shot And then he had two shots to kill it here That's a quick KO I think it was three

I think he took three shots Yeah, is three a lot for him? One's a quick KO. I think it was three. I think he took three shots. Is three a lot for him? One's a lot for him. He was acting not drunk, though. He was acting like he was off of a hallucinogenic kind of like... Something like... Brandon text me and he wanted me to ask you something. What?

When are you moving out? Next Saturday. Next Saturday? Where are you going?? Next Saturday. Next Saturday? Where are you going? Gramercy Park. Really? Congrats. That's awesome.

Roomies? Yeah, one. You know her? Is it somebody that works here? Yeah. Who? No, no, no. Don't ask.

Don't ask. I think it's fine. Who are you living with? Good shout out. Sarah upstairs. Oh. Thurma. You guys are a menace. That's a good twos Good shout out. Sarah upstairs. Oh. Thurma.

You guys are about to be a menace. That's a good twosome, a fearsome twosome. Do you want to tell the story about the person that came up to you in Cincinnati and what they said to you? Which one? You did have a lot of people come up to you. But didn't someone say their team, Caitlin? Oh, yeah. The people that were obsessed with Sass after. Sass. Sass. Get that down, obsessed with sass after. Sass.

Sass. Sass. Sass. Sass. Sass. Sass. Stop it, sass. They came up, and they were just like, Team Caitlyn.

And then she, I think she tweeted it, too. She was like, the best part of the night was meeting Caitlyn. Kind of fire. Good shit. Did you throw it a like? No, I don't think I did. Yeah, I mean, you got to play hard to get, kind of, and you can't just tell them that you like what they said.

So what's it like in the house of Brandon? Is it loud? Yes. I mean, it's just... Stinky? Yeah. Clean, though? Clean?

Yeah. Pete's pissed. No. What's Pete's piss? What, he's in his manpower? What are you mad about? I'm tired of making... I'm not getting a million subscribers, Pete. I'm tired of man control. You want to get a million subscribers, Pete? I'm tired of man control.

PJ wants to be here. Zal wants to be here. Why not? You're about to. 800 away. Are you team 760 away? Are you team Caitlyn? That's a classic Pete.

Team Caitlyn? Team Bruce. I am. Are you team Caitlyn? In the sense that you start shows from the pilot. Binary. Speaking Morse code. Yes or no?

Or is being Team Caitlyn non-binary? I don't understand. Brandon, explain. This show is confusing. I started Season 2, Episode 3, and I don't get a fucking thing. Wouldn't. Dude, I saw someone reply to that, and they said, you should just watch an entirely different show.

And then go back to season two. I was like, God. That was a good tweet. That was like a glum 16 hours tweet. Every show is lost to her. Yeah. Yeah, that was rad. You throw in the retweet.

I toss the RT. I toss the RT. I mean, that was really one. Sandbagged her. That really, you put out a signal flare that was like, you let the hounds come in. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it was very funny. It was very funny. Douchebag. Look at this dick. Fucking dickhead. What the fuck? I'm trying to come up with a YouTube title right now for stool scenes. I'm not being rude.

Well, what's the biggest thing that happened in stool scenes? I think it's Rico Bosco Returns After His Controversial Sex Change will be the title. Yeah, that's pretty good. I think it'll be Rico Bosco Returns. That's the most clickbaity title we can think of. Won't believe what happens next to being sexual.

Anything like Dave Portnoy blasts on like, or like yells at employees. Blasts or nails? Yeah, like yells at employees always goes nuclear. Did you do work? I'm going to get my avocado.

I'm going to full send this NFT. Dave Portnoy explains to Little Sass why he still is going to be poor. How it would do well. But yeah, I'll probably just be like Rico Bosco comes back from suspension. Fellas, I got to go pick up my laundry. That can wait. That can wait. That can wait.

That can definitely wait. You don't need that. We're missing out on sponsored content right now. We're fumbling the Manscaped bag. Yep. It's a hefty bag to fumble. Yep. I rock Manscaped.

You rock it? For real. Yeah. I shave my body with it. Rudy, what's new with you? You on Raya? No, I got waitlisted three years ago. I've been on the waitlist for three motherfucking

years damn how cold is that and then if they accept me now i think i'm just gonna say no what are you talking about you could fuck kesha god that'd be cool man wouldn't it she's awesome does she still make music uh it's been blocked she is so awesome she was so great if if If Kesha was on there I wouldn't say no But yeah I got fucking blocked by there Wouldn't let me in We gotta give away a bitcoin or some shit like that

Let's say we're giving away a bitcoin Does anyone have a bitcoin to give? Brandon Can a fan live with you for a weekend? Oh yeah Everybody else is Everybody else is. Everybody else needs something now. Just let someone live with you, man.

It's not that big of a deal. Yeah, okay. I'm fine with that. After a million subs, one person gets to spend the weekend at KB's. You'll buy three meals, and you get a tour of the office, and you'd be on the act.

Fair. Yeah, I would do that. I would do that. I would do that. That's like a nice bundle. Yeah. That's something I may have done for free. Yeah, I've done something similar. Yeah, with a fan?

Yeah. Was it a good weekend? You don't allow yourself to have fans. You make them friends immediately. I know. That's admirable. Thank you. But I think it probably speaks to something a little bit

subcutaneous about you that you want to either take away their feeling of fandom or you want to like have them as your as your friends.

I'm the most attracted to people who are attracted to me. Yes. Which is fucked. That's kind of fucked. There's probably

something to it. I think when people are like, oh, I fuck with people who fuck with me, why don't you just fuck with people independently of whether they fuck with you or not? Yeah, like I fuck with Kid Cudi. I have no idea if he fucks with me or not. You probably wouldn't.

You don't fuck with him personally. Yeah, I do. What are you talking about? How? Kid Cudi? How would you fuck with him personally? Well, like literally, no, I can't fuck with him personally because I've never been within like 10 feet of him.

People you love the most don't give a fuck about you. Jesus. What do you mean, like celebrities? Stop it, Nick. You do this every time. Does he do this to you? Yes. Did you lose that?

Did you see it? You got to find it. I think it might skew to the... And that goes for everybody, especially your pets. I think it might be under Nick. Yeah, do your pet, like, do you have a pet? I see it now, I see it now. Other way, other way.

I was thinking about getting a cat. Really? I was just saying the same thing. That's you signing up for a box of shit in your house. That's the biggest issue. A box of pebbles and shit. It is. Sandy shit.

Yeah, here's my box of, like, pebbles and the occasional turd. I was thinking about getting one of the things. A dog is applying for a job. I have this animal that'll make you sneeze and shows their butthole. You gotta be under his chair. Yeah, the butthole thing

with cats is tough. It's horrible. Yeah. What butthole thing? Do you want the companionship, Rudy? They just show their butthole a lot. What'd you say? Do you want the companionship?

I could see you having a bird. Dude, we had a bird. My brother had a bird. It was a parrot. They're we had a bird. My brother had a bird. It was a parrot. They're actually pretty fucking cool. Yeah, birds are awesome. They're smart. Yeah.

My boy Scott had a bird. Dude, they live. They live. Best in peace. They live super long. His name was Paco, and he's still alive. He's been to like four owners. That's the thing.

I can't sign up to get a pet that could potentially live longer than me I think they live 30 to 40 years that's what a wife is though wife is yeah Paco man

he was kind of a dick you remind me of someone who would name your pet after like a black icon yeah like Tyrese Gibson W-E-C-E yeah sure

that would be an awesome name for a dog but it's Tyrese Gibson. This is my dog Tyrese Gibson. Don't call it Tyrese. He hates that. It's a corgi. There's other Tyreases.

He hates that. This is Tyrese Gibson, my dog. All right, yeah, get a cat. 666. 666 and we're there. Let's go. We're 666 away. Nah, yeah.

We're of the beast. What do you mean nah, bro? Amy, bro? What the fuck? And there's reason to believe. We're 666 away Nah Yeah Remember of the beast What do you mean nah bro Remember Remember bro What the fuck And there's reason to believe There needs to be like a bathroom in here Going over there is way too far It's humiliating too

Yeah Maybe this year Couldn't last the entire week Bro you know what sucks Italian cookies Yeah Italian cookies They don't got the desserts down pat I think cannolis are kinda ass

Cannolis are alright Cannolis are alright Then Cannolis are alright. Then I didn't have them for so long and they were good. Thang cookies? You talking about pit cells? They're too flaky for my ass. Too flaky. And those just taste like licorice. Yeah, they are. Anise? Anise.

Right next to the cummin. Slide your chair so he can get that vape out from under you. Nick? Y'all are addicted. Yeah. It's a bit. Don't move, Nick. You're addicted to love.

Addicted to love and chaps. You can't get enough of it. Remember that monster verse by Jay-Z? Zombie with no conscience. Love, I can't get enough of it. Did you guys watch any of the Kanye doc? Nah. Love! I can't get enough of it. Did you guys watch any of the Kanye doc? Nah.

There's one really funny scene in it where he, like, is trying to get signed by Rockefeller. And he just walks into the office with his cameraman. It's literally stool scenes. He's just playing it, right? He's just playing it. It's really embarrassing, actually. He just plays, like, All Fall Down for these people in the room. And at one point, a girl just takes a phone call in the middle of this song. It's pretty fucking...

I saw that one clip of them when he says like couldn't afford a car so she named the daughter Alexis or whatever and the lady doesn't she doesn't react at all he doesn't recognize the bars bar supposedly that that was like the tenth bar slated for them yeah I saw that tweet yeah he's just as annoying in 2002 as he is now but that does show that that you can annoy your way into being a famous rapper. 100%. If you just are. A video of MGK dancing on the table with his album.

That used to be a prerequisite for getting signed to be a rapper, that you had to shake ass for executives. Yeah. Bobby Shmurda did it better than anybody. I think they all had to do it. I heard that Usher, when he was really, he was like 14 years old, and they're like, the reason he got signed is he was like singing to his secretary, and then he like kissed her on her knee or some shit like that,

and she was just like smitten. Kissing her on her knee works every time. I don't think. Is that sexy? You think it's that sexy? That sexy. It's probably the least sexy. That's what I mean.

The knee doesn't even have nerve endings. Kissing on the knee is. I would say elbow. Yeah The knee doesn't even have nerve endings. Kissing on the knee is... I would say elbow. Yeah? Elbow's even weirder. Weirder. I don't know why, but elbow. No, but that's...

Because, like, kissing on the lower half of the body in general, I think, is sexy. Knee, though. Yeah, it's an implied kiss. Right. Big Cat must be schmung right now. Elbow. Who's this? That's Bobby Shmurda.

That's Big Cat. That's Big Cat pitching Dave on how to get a job at Barstool. That's him pitching Mark Cuban. Oh, it's the Cubanmurda. That's Big Cat. That's Big Cat pitching Dave on how to get a job at Barstool. That's him pitching Mark Cuban. They're all backed up, too. There's a mouse in there. And they're like, oh, I believe that he's a murderer. I will sign him. There's a man in suspenders just trying to decide if you should sign him.

I believe he has that grimy shit. The kids are looking for. Is this an episode of Mad Men? Oh, he's thorough. Is this Robert Schmurda? I think this slaps. We could love to add you with Maroon 5. Now how do we sell this?

A couple years in jail won't hurt him at all. Here's what we're thinking, Bobby. You do a bid. For your first hot single, your hat will never land. Whoa. Get on the table, Bobby. Can we see MGK on the table?

They literally only give them these big tables so they can perform for them. Yes. So like some redheaded, chunky secretary can fucking be like, yeah, he's good. He's actually good at rap. There he goes. Yes, sir. Yeah, Bob. Oh, he's good. He's actually good at rap. There he goes. Yes, sir. Yeah, Bob. Oh, he was way too fast for the camera.

He slid across the hood like it was a fucking buddy cop movie. Stepping on the Cisco. Oh. And he jumps, yep. See, he's got it, dude. Whatever it is, Bobby Shmurda has it, in my opinion. He convinced them all in that second. Yeah.

The MGK one is, it hurts to watch. He's on all fours like arching his back yeah and he like falls over at one point and the fact that he like he does like the air drums and it's like i don't know man it's just weird gotta do what you gotta do yeah that's how i got this job here yeah just shimmied for deirdre and wajiha Yeah KB's like I got my buddy from West Virginia He's a perfect fit Well you were showing your logo redesigns Yeah they were all backed up

Yeah like I made this March Madness Photoshop about who's having sex with my girlfriend And then you just start dancing And I just start shaking my ass With the phone in front of him It was dead silent Yeah These are my really funny tweets.

Scroll through as I dance. See, look at the fucking numbers. Look at the numbers. 200 since you left, bro. Look at them go up. What time? What time what? What time will we hit a million?

What time will we hit a million? I'd say within the next 28 minutes. Yep. By five? Yeah. A milli by five. We're calling it right now. A milli by five. Call someone. it right now. A milli by five.

Call someone. Tell someone. Let them know. Pete, you need to tweet. I'm going to fire off a tweet. You will get us out of here if you tweet harder. Come on, Pete. Fucking have your whole team, dude.

Have fucking... Have them do it from the main page. Stefan tweet, bro. Have everybody tweet. Log into all our computers you spy on and tweet from everyone's computer. Please let us out, Pete. Use the malware, Pete. Let us escape.

Please, Pete. Please, Peter. A. Let us escape. Please, Pete. Please, Peter. A milli by five. Thank you, Pete. Barstool main account. Barstool main. What do you mean? I think we can.

I think that would be 10x. What did we start at this year? We started with zero. Oh, so we've already 10x'd. We already did. Can I ask a serious question? Serious? About Gonzo?

Ask a question into the mic. Want to talk about Gonzo? Talk into the mic. What's 10x? Yo. Oh. Bro, sit down. Sit down.

Take a load off. We're going to need to explain this shit to you. 10x is the physical manifestation of the thought of aspiration. So it's like if you aspire, if you want something. That's a way better answer than I was expecting. Do you know what I mean? It is. If you want to fucking put a number, if you want to put a numerical value to manifesting your goals,

you've never listened to publicity, huh? No, all the time. He said one billion dollars or one billion friends. That's way too many friends. Oh, he says you need one billion friends. One billion friends would suck. Because isn't there like

the... What's the number of like, you can only get a certain number of people that you can like reference in your lifestyle? What's that number? It's you can only get a certain number of people that you can like reference your lifestyle? What's that number? It's like the something number. Yeah. It's low.

It's like 1,300 or like 800 people or something. It's like an M word number. You use their like mannerisms and characteristics in yours? No, I think it's just the amount of people that you can know, that a human can know. There's like a governor on that. He had a $60 million lawsuit. He said he had a $60 million lawsuit. What?

Kill someone? Like a traitor. What did you do? He was a literal traitor. My life was unmanageable, but I wasn't powerless. I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. I know there's something I get to come back to. You can't kill me.

Oh, shit. He's riding on the top of the plane. That was in the air. I called Belfort. For you, it's all what gives you your strength and impact and motivation. Oh, dude.

Him and Belfort went head to head. It's more important than the money or marriage or the kids. But you couldn't build this empire without Elena. Without Adele. I could.

I could. Without Adele, I could. Without Adele. I thought you said without Adele. I've. I could. Without a doubt, I could. Without a doubt. I thought you said without a doubt. I've always wanted to help people. I've always wanted people to help me. I always wanted to be famous and rich. I want to create heaven on earth.

We're all on one planet. We're all one face. Dude, you know what's crazy about the fact that everybody has a... We'll back it up a little bit. Did you know that the world is about to run out of kids? Or, like, within five years, we're going to, like, run out of, like, children? Yeah, they're trying to— Colleges will have more kids, right?

Like, the baby boom is, like, over, and in, like, four or five years, like, all colleges are going to just run out of children. No way. Are you going to be incentivizing having kids? That'd be tight. I think so. I think that we're just you going to be incentivizing having kids? That'd be tight. I think so. I think that we're just like... We need to have kids.

That'd be awesome. Yeah. I want to be like a fucking orangutan. Pit me up with somebody. Force me and have people watch. Hit Nick in heat. They do that in a lot of places of the world. You want to be a stud?

I want to be... Have all these ladies come over and fuck Nick. Throw me in a tank. Sit on Nick. Have some people watch. Throw me in a tank. Sit on Nick. Have some people watch. Watch me try. Yeah. But they have to, like, extract the semen from you.

You're not fucking, like... They're going to pull me out as a man. They're milking you, and they put, like, a fucking... a Nutribullet on your dick. A fucking ninja on your dick. Yeah. We're back.

You'll be like Genghis Khan, like, half the world will be related. Yeah. We're back. We're back. You'll be like Genghis Khan, like half the world will be related to you. We are back. If we hit a million, I'll be in a fucking tank. I thought the fucking opposite problem was happening. Too many kids? Overpopulation. There's too many people, but not young people. That's like a, I think it's a misconception.

Well, I think India, Africa. That's funny, Ron. Yeah. But, yeah, I think there's going to be less. I think that we're running out of children. And I definitely had a point that I was about to get to at the end of that, that I backed it up to catch. There's a movie about it. It'll pull out this weekend.

Children of God. Yeah. Honestly, let's have some back babies. I want everybody to celebrate by busting in their significant other. Or anybody. How do you have a significant other and not do that? Have kids? What?

It seems like statistically you would eventually have a whoopsies. Bust in. Yeah, unless your pee got nerfed. Oh, yeah. That means he still is. That's because he had kids already. But that means he could bust as much as he wants in. He can bust like crazy.

He can bust without... You're not really busting. I've always wondered that. Do you bust? No. I think sperm without a vasectomy is goopy. But I think his is more like gack. Oh, no.

Really? Whoa. I don't know how that... I don't get how that works. Missed. 459. No. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 58, bro. Come on, bro. Dude, this is going to be the most rewarding thing we ever do. How long have you guys been going for now? Since one. I can't turn my neck. Fuck.

Three and a half hours. I love how spontaneous it was. Yeah, it was nice. I like this. Well, I was actually monitoring it this whole week because I was like, damn, we're getting pretty close. We should do something. And then you guys carried the torch and did something.

We got it. I hope E sees this. Yeah. I hope E sees this and factors it into our quarterly bonus. Big E-dog. You got a quarterly? I thought we all did. I thought those were every other Friday.

I get a bonus every day waking up and getting to come into here. That's my bonus. Yeah. That's 10X. I wish someone would come in my ear, bro. 10X is very much about money. Yes. It's not like one of those programs that it's like money doesn't matter.

It's like money is everything. Money is truly everything. Yeah. Get your bread up. Yeah. What are your weekend plans, Sass? Nothing. Sick. Broke them up. Yeah. What are your weekend plans, Sass? Nothing. Sick.

Broke them up. Going to play video games. I thought you were going upstate. Are you going to go Apex Predator? Yep. Apex Pred? I was going to go upstate, but it's too much money. I'm staying in this weekend because my boy Sneddy is coming next weekend.

You got a boy named Sneddy? Sneddy is. How do I? You have a Sneddy? No, you don't. Not Sneddy Boo. Not Sneddy Boo Boo. It's not Sneddy Boo Boo, but it's S next weekend. You got a boy named Sneddy? Sneddy is. How do I? You have a Sneddy? No, you don't. Not Sneddy Boo. Not Sneddy Boo Boo. It's not Sneddy Boo Boo, but it's Sneddy.

He's with Sneddy Boo, the sumo wrestler. Sneddy Boo. No, Sneddy Boo was a fat fucking rapper who died. Yeah, rest in peace, Sneddy Boo. He killed it on Twitter in 2012, 13, then passed. Sneddy Boo, the sumo wrestler. He wasn't a wrestler. The sumo rapper, I'm sorry.

A sumo rapper? Yeah. Uh-oh. I know, I saw it too. What? Saw what? They don't have enough, they don't have the power to do that. It doesn't matter.

If they want to be losers and do that, we can just stop. Wait, what? Check your text. Check my text. Planning a coup. No. Coup de chat assholes no that's out of love though

they want us do you want us to go all day well if they do that we'll just stop the show well when we hit a million we'll switch over to the barstool yak youtube we'll do another hour

that's the least we could do boys 10x bro we are so 10x Nick be proud of yourself I understand that you're Making your life harder For yourself

In other Oh we do need Do you fuck with that Cola song by Camel Fat I played for you This is the Oh there he goes My guy

I wanted I wanted to say Uh huh I wanted to give him A doppelganger But I was afraid That it'd be Yep Yep come in He's got samples for us Yes sir I wanted to give him a doppelganger, but I was afraid that it would be...

Yep. Yep, come in. He's got samples for us. Yes, sir. Finish strong, brother. Finish strong. Woo, fuck yeah. No day's wasted.

Hell yeah. No day's wasted. Here we go. How do we apply this? This is a pill. This is a pill. Oh, it's a capsule. Oh, hell yeah.

Two capsules, you take them. So we've been drinking this entire episode. When do we take this? Right now. Right now? With the alcohol. Push it to the limit. Take one at night, one in the morning.

Suck it on, loosen it, Jenny. What if you don't drink, but you do create them? Walk in the mic, brother. Wait, I take one of these now? Create them? It's a little... Just took ours. Appreciate you, brother. Appreciate you. Wait, I take one of these now? Create them? Just took ours. Appreciate you, brother.

Wait, wait, wait. Take this now? Can I parachute it? Wait, how do you know what parachuting is, KB? It's his favorite song by... Who's that by? Oh, it's like that English song? Yeah. Like a Lucas Graham offshoot.

Lucas Graham is a band, not a man. Lucas Graham is some U2 and Jeff D. Lowe. His specific audience is the two of you and Jeff D. Lowe. Once I was seven years old Come day as me day Come day as me levanto, come me away.

That's Portuguese. Bato um papo, bato um ponte, domo um gin. Once I was seven years old. Same. Yo, Sassbro, throw me that, bro. What was the worst age of your life? I don't think I've hit it yet. But it's coming.

Like a ton of bricks. Responsibility is going to crush me at some point in my life, and I'll stop being able to live this fucking frivolous lifestyle I live. Not true. Not after everything you've built, brother. What's y'all's answer? There's 8,000 grams of sodium in one of these. Whoa.

Of what? Sodium. In what? In one. Make me throw up, bro. Put your hand down my throat, bro. I took one of these and now I'm like shriveled. I think that drives the mechanism of thirst in your body.

So I think that's the idea. It just makes you thirsty for water. Really? If you're hungover? Yeah, but I think that you just need that extra. Also, I think that if you have extra sodium in your body, you retain more water. Because in hockey, they'd make us drink these really salty, gross drinks, and it makes your body absorb more liquid. Creatine?

Creatine does that as well. I think there was salt in those G2 cubes. What's a G2 cube? Oh, the Gatorade gummies. Electrolytes? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Are you on that creatine thing still no i don't look around and get some friends all natural you're natty yeah i fucking love the dudes on tiktok they're like dude this is this guy natty it's like who

gives a fuck bro like you obviously all you guys should just do steroids they are all all of them should yeah their entire life if you want it that bad just go get it okay just do steroids. They are all. All of them should. Yeah. Their entire life. If you want it that bad, just go get it. Go get it. Go do steroids, dude. Like, I don't. Like, what do you. No one cares. You're not playing a professional sport.

Like, just do steroids. What are you doing with those big balls anyway, bro? Yeah. Shrink them. Shrink up your balls. Shrink them. Yeah. All right.

Are we on hour five? I'm about to order a sausage pizza. I ordered a salad, and I got like one bite before. Put us on to something. Put us on. Let's all do one put on. Put on a fish cheek. No, I'm done.

All right, my put on on the day was fish cheeks and cola by Camel Fat. Someone else go? Does it have to be food? No. No. Was there a dog in here? Fuck. Are you going through puberty?

I think you are. My voice has been cracking like two times. You sound like you're yodeling. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Let's do a put on circle. Let's all rip a fart. Let's all rip ass. I wish.

I couldn't if I tried. I couldn't believe that Vibs did that on demand. rip a fart. Let's all rip ass. I wish. I couldn't if I tried. I couldn't believe that Vibs did that on demand. He could fart. He whispered that he had to fart, and so I worked her in. And so he helped it on the Small Talk Olympics. Go watch that. Go watch. Go watch.

Go watch. I had a blast doing that. Really did. Hell yes. I love Brandon content. Yeah. I actually really did have yes i love brandon content yeah i actually really did fun and brandon's content i want to put you guys i'll put you guys on to this this show that uh yeah i think you guys might be into you may have heard of it it's like uh it's about uh drug addiction and then it's it's uh really good it's on hbo it's got this uh this transgender

lead in it and then this it's called uh euphoria you it. It's called Euphoria. You should check it out. Oh, fuck yeah. Good put on, good put on, good put on. All right, how do I get into it? You just got to get an HBO login. I can give you one. Nah, how do I get into it?

How do I start it? What episode does he start on? Well, honestly, the first season is kind of not it. And also the first episode of the second season isn't it? And also the most recent one of the second season. So I would start season two, episode three. Season two, episode three. Okay, yeah, that would make sense. That's where everybody typically starts.

And then, to be perfectly honest with you, the show doesn't get any better than that episode, so I just leave it. Just want it. I tell people the same thing with Game of Thrones. Hard home. Just watch Hard Home. That's all you need.

And that's it. That's everything you need to know. Don't even need to watch the rest of the show. My earache is so bad right now, I feel like I'm going to throw up. It hurts so bad. You have an earache? So fucking bad. I don't know.

Why is this happening to me? You probably have an ear infection. You need to put some vinegar in there. Vinegar? Yeah. No, it's not vinegar. It's something. It's some sort of...

Hydrogen peroxide? It's something that you can't drink. Wait, what word did you just say? Hydrogen peroxide. What is it when you lay on your side? Vinegar. You lay on your side and I think... I'm only hearing the end of it.

Nick calls Vince Carter. You probably have an ear infection, Ron. That's not good, brother. How does that even happen? I just went to sleep last night. Unhealthy. I'm falling apart, too, man. I got a cold.

My neck is broken. It sucks. Dana. Pop in, Dana. Dana, come here. We need some subs, bro. We need like 10 million subs. You tweet out the link.

Look at the number. Look at the number, Dana. Ever since he started hanging out with you. No, no, no, no. Oh, boo. He's got a big mistake. I think he said, I got to catch a train or I got to do a train. I couldn't tell.

You got to run a train. Yeah. Little drops of Jupiter. Yeah. Now she's back from that soul vacation. I thought it was that way. Fucking away. Meet Virginia.

Meet Virginia is a classic song where the chorus is so much better than the hook. I'm sure we've talked about this before, but for the new subscribers. The chorus is better than the hook? Some songs the hook will bring you back. A popular thing? I think the hook's usually the most popular part. What about Chariot by Gavin DeGraw? Chariot by Gavin DeGraw is one of the five most perfect songs in the world. In an old mother tree I said to myself, we all lost touch.

Her favorite food is chocolate covered cherries. Seedless watermelon. KB, can you do a karaoke of that? Nothing from the ground is good enough. Body rise. It was over. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Yes, sir. We weren't singing. Yes, sir. This one. Yeah, let's run it. Until about this time is when we're supposed to start singing. Staring at a maple leaf

Leaning on the mother tree I said to myself We all lost touch Your favorite fruit is Chocolate covered cherries Awful favorite. Watermelon, oh Nothing from the ground

Is good enough Body rise Who was over me? Oh, Cheria Your golden waves are walking down Upon this face Oh, Cheria I'm singing out loud.

You guide me, give me your strength. Wings? For your strength. Boys are chilling. Remember sick and moaned great birth. Rayman mirrors off the earth. The song was just

yellow energy. Come on, boys. Lesson 250. Push it. There's a living promised land. Even over fields of sand. Seeds fill my mind. Oh, KB. How about me?

Fuck yeah. Bring him back. All the memory. Oh, chariot. Your golden wits. Are watching down upon this space. Oh, chariot. But I'm singing out loud. You've got me.

Give me your strength. Oh, chariot. Be my vacation away from these players. Push it to 40. Come on boys we're so close and fly. Oh, chariot. Your golden wings are walking down upon this little chariot. I'm singing out loud. Give me your strength. Oh, chariot

Nick will sing at a million subscribers. Dude, how do you hate singing? Singing is so fun. At a million subs, you have to sing. Aberdeen, South Dakota, if you're fucking with me, then let me hear you sing this right now. Give me your strength. it with me then let me hear you sing this right now 13 minutes go 13. go go go go go go to get 210 people we get to prove Pete wrong. Oh, chariot, give me your strength.

Give it to me. Oh, chariot. Come on now. You're so close. Everybody now. The one million. We couldn't have done it without each and every one of you. Push, push, push, push, push.

We are pushing ourselves so hard for content right now, dude. I remember just 15 years ago in that tiny Milton office. Yes. Hank duct taped to that wall. Yes. He never saw this coming. Squealing like a pig. Hank could have never.

Spin it, TJ. A hundred fucking ninety seconds. Wait, wait. One headlight to finish it off? We might have to. I will sing that with you boys. What's one headlight? What's one headlight?

What is it? What does it mean? It's the wallflowers. I don't know that song. Yeah, you do. I promise you, you do. You promise? I guarantee you do. Promise me.

Push it, push it, push it, push it, push it, push yourselves. Tell a friend. One headlight. One headlight at 999900. Call your friends. Call your family. Call your loved one call your side piece

call everybody it is today truly is St. Yaktrix Day St. Yaktrix Day might be any other day of the year but today

today of all the February 18th is St. Yaktrix Day and it will forever be remembered as such we fucking put our asses on the line people are gonna remember

where they were when we went for hours hours on a Friday when nobody's here. Fuck yeah. Whoa, check that. 9-9-9-8-28.

Call me crazy, I'd warm up with some Michelle Branch. 9-9-9 is what I should have said when they were tattooing my thigh. Maybe a Michelle Branch warm up. Oh, you need a drink, Roan. Roan needs a drink. You can't stop now. Roan needs a drinky brew. Oh, Roan a drink, Roan. Roan needs a drink. You can't stop now. Roan needs a drinky brew. Oh, Roan cracking open the mangoes.

You wish, pussy. What do you think, Owen? Should find apple pussy. Everywhere? Probably. Body rice. Dealer's choice. Dealer's choice.

Dealer's choice. Is that a DJ? Is that a song, bro? Oh, gosh. All right, Michelle Briggs is barred, though. I'm declined by Miley Cyrus, too. Yo, push it, push it, push it, push it, push it. Push yourselves.

We're there. Bro, you're there. Be part of history. We fucking pushed ourselves this much. Push yourselves. Like that, dude. Don't you want to be the millionth? Don't you want to be the one?

You think you want to be? There's got to be a handful of people watching. Beacon of wannabes. There's definitely people waiting for that exact moment. Yeah. I don't want to be here now. Other than what I've been trying to be lately. That type of shit, bro.

That's what's going to get us over. All I want to do is take a look in my peace of mind. I'm tired of looking around rooms. Oh, chariot. Hearing Adam Maybeabley. Bitch, shut the fuck up with me and Mike talking. These are mango. Holy fuck, I thought they were pineapple, bro.

Try this high noon, bro. Uh-oh. I'm surrounded by... Trouble's coming. Thank you, Gavin. Salute to Gavin DJ Why don't we show some animosity Subscribe to this

And I'm praising God's son I don't need anything to offer Been a specialist son Specialist And the birth of two souls in one. Part of where I'm going is where I'm coming from. I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind.

I'm tired of looking around rooms wondering what I got to do. 125, let's fucking go. Fucking go, New York. It's so simple. Just click the button. That's all it takes. Type of sounds very famous in New York. I'm surrounded by liars

everywhere I turn. Everywhere I turn. I'm surrounded by imposters. Everywhere I turn. I'm surrounded by identity crisis. Everywhere I turn.

I'm the only one who knows. I can be the only one who knows. I can be the only one who's learned. I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. I got 100, 100 to go. 100 to go. Let's go, boys. Come on, boys.

I'm tired of looking around rooms, wondering what I got to do. I'm so sorry. I don't want to be anything other than me. We don't want to be anything other than you. Oh. Oh. Who are you? We hired you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't do that. Don't do that. What just happened? Oh, boys. It's been a while since you subbed. I came from the mountain. First of creation. My whole situation.

Played a stone. I'm telling everybody. I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. You don't have to read it fast. I do. Actually, yeah, you do. I'm tired of looking around rooms wondering what I got to do. I don't want to be anything other than me.

Last 79. You're our most important 79. It's going to your brothers and your sisters in this cause. Damn, it's going up. I don't want to be. It is the climb. The climb? Yeah, do the climb.

Time for the climb. It's always going to be an uphill battle. Oh yeah. We're bigger than our circumstances. We're bigger than anybody that leaves. Fuck you, pussies leaving. If you leave, stay gone. We don't want you back.

You're banished. We don't want you. I can almost see it. This is my favorite yak ever. S, bro. S, bro. It is. I can almost see it.

Quantity over quality. I dream, I'm dreaming. Hard to say. My head's saying you'll never reach it. Every step. Do you have any female vocalists in here? I'm not going to be female. I'm making it feel like old direction.

My faith is shaking. And I, I I gotta keep trying I gotta keep trying Oh my god, boys. They could never make a better bar stool. They could never do what we're doing. Always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be in a pill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Your fucking cubes How fast I get there In the cubes It's what? It doesn't matter Because you're with us It's the clown Five minutes

Five minutes for 50 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, boys. Just five minutes for the rest of our lives. But these are moments that I'm going to remember most. Just got to keep going. And I got to be strong. Come on, Sass. Get us to a million.

Get us to a million. Get us to a million. More. There's always going to be another mountain. Always going to want wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose 25!

26! Get there! 25! For the size! Boys! Come on! It's the climb! Boys! Come on! It's the climb! 19!

Yeah! We're in the 19! Yeah! Let's go! Break it down, Miley. Take a scare. Come on, boys. Take a scare.

Come on, boys. Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take a scare! Take us back. Take us back. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come back, come back. Come back. Come back.

God damn. Look at that. I don't think I've ever been more proud of anything that we've ever done worth. I don't think we've ever put in more effort. I don't think we've ever busted our asses. Keep on moving. Keep your ass in here.

Shout out to Thomas. Fuck you. All about the crime. Yeah, boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Effort. Effort. It's the fucking effort.

We wanted it so bad. Let's get to two million. We wanted it so bad. And we left it all out on the fucking table, dude. That's the Yak. That is the show. That is what we came to do. And we did what we came to fucking do. Not just for us

in here. Not for for the yak but for all of all of you guys we did it for fucking jmac dude we did it for fucking musky we did it for fucking real haircuts we did it for everybody pirate simon we did it for a wall intern dana healthy scratches yes everything blackjack drinks blackjack everybody everybody Dana. Healthy Scratches. Who the fuck? Crocs. Go Brainwalk. Yes, everything. Blackjack Fletcher. We're drinks. Blackjack. Everybody.

Everybody. Holy fuck, what a moment. What a moment. What a pivotal moment. Thank you all so much. It was a legitimate hug. It has been our pleasure. This was the Yak.

Ah. It's the act. That dinosaur is here Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah 1 million X. 1 million X.