The Yak - The Chat Has Turned on Jersey Jerry | The Yak 1-10-24

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

It's not an upset if you beat PurdueYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Oh, welcome in. It's the Yak. Use promo code Yak at Roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Roback.com.

Promo code Yak. Oh. The Q-Zips. 20% off. First purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Oh, yeah. Roback.com.Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Oh, yeah. Q-Zips. Throwback.com.

The fleeces. Yes. Go right now. By the way, this TV's about to turn off. Yeah, we look dark. We look dark. Guys, we got a problem. Oh, no.

Oh. We got a problem. My bad. Yeah, it is your bad. No, I think this whole free lunch every day, I am a Pavlov dog. Right. I was doing work up in my office. I came down at 1145.

There was no lunch there. My mood just cratered. Yeah. Oh. That's why we're getting ourselves to a point where we are going to expect free lunch every day, and to break that is going to be impossible the lunch was late today is that it's not here it's not here yet it's why i got in go with page and she came to me about 11 15 says i need to warn you about something why didn't you alert the press

i didn't know i i or maybe you're a selfish eater you always i came to find you order you came to find your door was closed selfish eater selfish lover i needed that news broken to me sorry i didn't know where you were awfully you know how many times I talk about how hungry I am? You're like, I'm hungry too, and then you'll order food. I got an emergency Chick-fil-A. It's also an excitement factor of like, what could today be? Brandon broke the glass and ordered Chick-fil-A. Yeah, it is.

He hit the bat phone. Picked up a big nuclear code and was like. Called him, it's Walker. We got a problem. It happened again. I need your best man on it. You know the order. Yep.

So, sucks. You deserve the Chick-fil-A, Brandon. You're a fucking star. Thank you. I came to find you, and your door was closed. I was behind that closed door. Well, I didn't want to open it. I have no idea what's going on in there.

I was chilling. Oh. How was having your own studio? You liking it? I'm loving there. I was chilling. Oh. How was having your own studio? You liking it? I'm loving it. You guys are just chilling. We're chilling it, but ours is more of a common room. I can open that door, and Danny Conrad will be doing something in there, or Nikki Smokes

will be doing something. It's an open invite. It's like a national park. Leave it as you left it. That's why the door was closed. I feel like every time I walk in there, I'm walking into my high schooler's bedroom. Yeah. I don't know what's going on here.

Yeah. I don't want to look under any. I don't want to do the Eric Adams looking for guns and coke. We've lost control of the room. Could be something. That happens fast. Mincy will wander in there and just babble. Yeah, but that's every room.

Yeah. It's true. I've been in your studio one time time and I had no plan. I just wanted to see it and I walked in and realized I had nothing to say and then I just slowly walked out. It's intimidating. It's very intimidating.

A lot of people... Fuck, I'm never doing that again. The light's low. It's always dark in there. It's cold. It's always a little, about five degrees cooler than every other room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we had just a ton of weed in there. Right. And so people will come in and just be like, hey. Wait, you guys should grow your own weed. We're, yeah, we're

in there. Yeah. That's a good idea. Is that illegal, technically? I don't think so. There's no way of knowing. We never said it publicly. There is no way of knowing. There's no way of knowing. Yeah, let's do it. If you guys created a grow lab in your studio. Yeah, we have a fish tank in there. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. If you guys created a grow lab in your studio. Yeah, we have a fish tank in there.

Yeah. When did you get the fish tank? Christmas. Huh. 20 gal. What are you going to put in there? Koala. Oh, fuck.

First animal that came to my mind. I'm going to cram it in there. Are you going to get fish? I don't know. We got it for Rudy because Rudy seems like a fish tank guy. Yeah. Pretty unfair Christmas, actually. We got Mook and Xbox and Rudy and Aquarium.

Oh, yeah. Great Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, here's a fish tank. Take care of these fish. Rudy's an Aquarium guy and doesn't know it yet. Yeah, I'd agree with that. Also an orgy guy.

He is, for sure, but he does know that. Yeah. You guys gave Rudy a project and you gave me the best game. It's still up there, too, like a nuisance. Well, they're also sending you to Perth for 24 hours. Yeah, I forget about that, and then I get reminded. It's coming up soon. Two months, maybe.

Wednesday, right? March 7th. Oh, it's going to be tomorrow, basically. Yep. That's going to happen instantly. We've got a lot of clients in today Pop-Tarts Pop-Tarts in?

I talked to Pop-Tarts I talked to Mrs. Pop-Tarts Mrs. Tart Do you offer to eat her? Do you offer to eat her? That was the best bowl Oh I told him that, that was genius The edible mascot

Yeah I just walked up to her And she We shook hands And I grabbed her hand And I just started nibbling Oh fuck You're not a Pop-Tart What the hell

What other clients do we have And we got a long text From Blattman this morning I didn't read it yet Yeah it was too much Yep Sorry Blattman This is how I'm gonna tell you back

Not gonna read it We who Me, Nick and Ro Oh The big three It's a squad We're just kind of the guys This is how I'm going to tell you back. I'm not going to read it. We who? Me, Nick, and Ro. Oh. The big three. It's a squad. We're just kind of the guys.

It was an ideas text. You're on top of the tier list in this office, but out of the overarching barstool. Yeah. Low. We could tier everyone. Oh, we are coworkers. Wait, TJ, is there a bar? No, no, no.

But we'll do it based off something else. No, no. Based off. Most kissable. Who we think is the best kisser. Oh. Oh. You just want to be ranked number one.

S plus. You would be ranked number one. Chapstick boy. Oh, my God. One tube. One single tube and a go. That's going to be my new wheel. You don't have to fall asleep.

You've got to finish a brand new Chapstick. I like that. So you just rub it on your lips until it is gone? Oh, my God. Can we read the categories again? What were they? It was actually funny, not funny, eh, okay, assholes, liars, great guys, great guys weird eyes massive tools i don't know much about you to care and what the fuck that's probably how i would separate our co-workers yeah

wait who's the second oh no that oh the names are on the left yeah i was like wait yeah other one why why do i look like it's banks no we shouldn't do this this is probably a very bad idea horrible well it's got it's all got all the guys on there it's got carabas and no brandon i think would be Why do I look like... That's Banks. No, we shouldn't do this. This is probably a very bad idea. Horrible. Well, it's got all the guys on there. It's got Karabas and... No, Brandon, I think, would be... Liar. Liar. I've never lied.

Great guy? How about great guy? No, I think great guy is just for Trent. I'll take... Okay, but... Wow. This is a... KB? Also, the names being where they are is stupid. Very dumb. I'll take it. Okay. Wow. KB?

Also, the names being where they are is stupid. Very dumb. It's driving me nuts. KB's a liar. It's from the blogger's page. No, he's a... Maybe a asshole. Weirdo. No.

No, no, no. Actually funny. He's a liar. We can't. We've got to stop doing this. We're going to keep doing this. He's a liar. We're going to slowly do this We're gonna keep doing this He's a liar He's a liar

We're gonna slowly do it And then everyone's gonna be like What the fuck did they just Wait Let's put all of ourselves Into great guys Yup Tweet that out

And then And then tweet it out But wait Let's have one person Somewhere else Weird eyes Put Che in weird eyes Yeah

Yeah Let's do that. No, don't put anyone else on it. Just Che. Yeah, nobody else on the list. And we rank the yak. There's one tier and it's weird eyes. No, it's just Che, weird eyes. Jay, you're bankrupting me. Yeah, I'm sorry. Is the struggle continuing?

Oh, my God. We lost one pick last night. I'm now the drill tweet where I'm like, can someone help me with my budget? It's like, you know, $200 for clothes, $300 for food, $400 for rent, $50,000 for trusting the data. What am I doing wrong?

You're doing the OnlyFans format. Be realistic. It's a nine-day stretch. We've had a bad nine-day stretch. That's a lot of days. It's a lot of days. I haven't lost every one of those days I'm just saying like I lose one bet and I don't want to bet again for six months

you might win a bet but the stretch lingers yeah it lingers I look at you differently as a human being you have no value you're void of value to me it's a sad state of affairs you know I know you know that I'm going to get

very hot soon. He knows you know. I don't know if I know that anymore. He doesn't know. I changed things up. Last night, went to bed early. Shot my computer down the first time in months. But it didn't work. Got a haircut this morning. No, this was all after the bet loss. Wait, you didn't change anything up. You just did...

Routine. I did some chores. Was it time for your haircut? You've gotten a haircut every did... Routine. Yeah, I did some chores. Was it time for your haircut? You've gotten a haircut every so often for years. No, I've been trying to get a haircut actually since right before the new year. My barbershop closed the first week of the new year. So today was the first day they were back, or yesterday was. Sportclips did not close. Can you look at the camera?

I'd like to see. Yeah, but changing it up, Jay, would be like shaving your head. Right. You didn't change it up. You got the haircut you always get. You look exactly your head. Right. You didn't change it up. You got the haircut you always get. You look exactly the same. You didn't change anything up. I'd be like, I changed things up today.

I put gas in my car. Put socks on my face. I put on joggers today. Yeah, those are the normal things. Something new I read today's newspaper. I changed things up. Believe. That's a good point.

I'm struggling to believe. Do you want me to not? I cannot send them anymore. No, I want them because then you're going to get hot without me and then I'll be even more mad. I'm stuck. You've been pot committed for life. It's a terrible place to be in. But I'm going to end up up.

I am up. But I'm going to continue to end up up. I don't believe you. When does the alarm go off? Oh, it's been going off. He sounded the alarm. Nine days is an alarm. He's just been texting me. I haven't lost every bet in nine days. It's just like, if you look at it in a bottle, then yeah,

I've had a bad stretch of nine days. I don't know. It's a story of a... The alarm's been blaring. Nine days. Is there a too much damage alarm? Is there like we need to fall back? I haven't hit too much damage, but there is...

I've been winning my other bets. Nine days. So that's the only thing that's been keeping me together. Is the band that sang Story of a Girl, right? Mm-hmm. Is that the name of the band? Mm-hmm. This is the story of a girl.

90s band names. What? 90s band names. What? 90s band names, very hit or miss. Yeah. Nine Days is not a great name. Nine Days is not a good name. Yeah, what is that supposed to mean? Don't know. It's more than eight.

How much is a score? What's a score? That's 14. That's 20 years. 20 years. Yeah, Fortnite is not. Four score. Fortnite's two.

Wait, no. Four score in 20 years? Two weeks. Two weeks. What's the four score in 20 years. 20 years. Four score. Wait. No. Four score in 20 years. Two weeks. Two weeks. What's the four score in 20 years? No, four score in seven years ago. Four score in seven years ago. 87 years ago.

Yeah. That's what. Yeah. Yeah. We should talk about. We should do things. Why didn't he just say 87? Yeah.

He ruined score forever. Yeah. 87 years ago. When he said four score, everyone was like, oh, we can't use score anymore. Do you think it meant 20 years before he said it, or did he just create a new word right there? You think he popularized score? Shakespeare did stuff like that, right? Didn't he just throw words into things?

Maybe. I wasn't around for old Billy S. Is that how people talked? How old are you? I'm a score? Yeah. I'm almost two score. How much do you weigh?

I'm two score. How much do you weigh a stone? Oh, they still use that. I'm anywhere between 10 and 15. That's the most British thing ever. I'm one stone. I can't even do a British accent. I'm one stone.

I can't talk. I can't do a British accent anymore. I wasted it all yesterday. I was talking like Jacob Elordi, who's Australian. He's Australian. Wait, can I hear him talk? You need to just watch Salt Burn. It's the gayest shit you'll ever see.

I heard that I shouldn't watch Salt Burn. No, you should. You guys got to watch this movie. It's so gay. It's so gay. I watched the preview and I was like, I don't think so. It's just dudes moaning each other's names and being frustrated with one another. Really?

Yeah. It's somehow like gay or British euphoria. Yeah. Jacob Laurie nuts in the bathtub and then Barry Keegan drinks it up. Oh! Who drinks up in the fucking bathroom? Oh, it's just Jerry After Dark. Yeah. Jacob Laurie nuts in the bathtub, and then Barry Keegan drinks it up. Oh! Who drinks up in the fucking bathroom? Oh, it's just Jerry After Dark. Yeah.

That's the next Jerry After Dark challenge. Jerry should have to perform Salt Burn as, like, a play. We're going to have Jerry come in in a minute to get a State of the Union on Jerry After Dark. That was so much piss. I don't know if you guys saw. I missed it. I thought he stopped. I called him, and I told him he's got to keep going.

Because I went to the Blackhawks game last night. I got home. I went down to my office to do some work, and I put on the YouTube. And literally the minute I put it on, he goes, shut it down. Shut it all down. It was like 30 minutes in. Yeah, I saw all of that. And then I laughed because it was very funny that he just shut it down after 30 minutes.

And then I didn't realize he came back on. He's also the, I think JP, can we play clips from it or no? Yeah, we can. JP, look at how much. So Jerry pissed his pants and then he just stood there and he's like, that is so much piss. Oh. So much piss. Embarrassing.

The floor is never going to be the same. Yeah, I won't be able to look at Jerry. JP from Boston. Lost all respect. JP from Boston had a great point that I never even thought about. Jerry's the only person I've ever seen who pukes, but he doesn't bend over. He just pukes where he's standing. Like dribbles.

Yeah, he never changes the body. Look at this. That's how toddlers puke. Look at this. He's just standing up. Yeah, he's standing standing up yeah he's standing straight up that's a little kid's view oh man it is a little kid's view shot ryan with the save by the way oh he just he just this show is going to kill him yeah he's in a bad spot right now um Oh, the Kirkland. He just did.

This show is going to kill him. Yeah, he's in a bad spot right now. I got to talk to him. I got to just head it on straight. He's not doing well. Mentally? I think yesterday was a long day because he actually did get very injured. I saw that happen live.

It was brutal. So he actually got injured by the person pulling on his arm, I think? Yeah. So people were like, it's fake because he actually got injured by the person pulling on his arm i think yeah so people were like it's fake because he didn't fall on that arm i think what's happened is he was falling and someone tried to save him and basically ripped his arm socket out yes and i think it the golf swings had to add up for that to be an easy block yeah he called me last night. He's like, I'm done with this show. I can't do it. Yeah, so this is where he got injured? No, that wasn't it. He was getting out of the wheelchair.

Why doesn't he just do something less physically taxing for the next one? Why? He should read a giant fucking book out loud. He actually said- Pride and Prejudice. An idea he threw at me is he might do a 24-hour silent stream. Yeah, that's good. Where he just sits in a room with no cell phone.

He just doesn't talk for 24 hours. That's good. You would lose your job. That is, yeah. With chat up? I don't know. He wouldn't be able to do that. That would be impossible.

Add an hour every time he says something? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah, what else could he do, though? When did you get hiccups? You haven't had them all. Just now. That was the first hiccup.

I just picked them up two seconds ago. I'm trying to change things up. The data's broken. I'm just going to get some hiccups real quick. You know, normal shit. Oh, fuck. I need someone to scare me. We're all going to die someday.

Yeah. Some sooner than later. TJ, find one of those videos where, like, the ball hits the camera. And it scares you? You're not expecting it. Oh, are you trying to scare him, Brandon? Yeah. Oh, I thought we were just trying to talk Get some spirit off our chest

I'm not afraid of dying Are you afraid of dying Brandon? Why would you be afraid of dying? Have you seen that new car commercial Big Cat? No Oh yeah this car looks so sick Yeah it's a good car Oh that's a really good car

Yeah it's nice Oh what a beautiful road What a view That's an incredible road Wow I want to go there. I need to go there. It's so green. Where'd the car go?

It's behind the tree. Oh, the foliage. Oh! Okay, okay. Okay. I knew that was coming, too, and it still scared me. Let's see. All right.

Yeah. I think I got me. Yeah. I think I'm cured. Wow. Just one video one video if now we could play this maze game that I used to play yeah oh yeah it doesn't get real skinny I remember the maze game you just you just have a hit with two hiccups that was like five I think it's I think itin zin makes me hiccup every now and then

are you still on the six milligrams of the threes six kb's making a push for people to switch he's trying to do 23s for 2024 he was like he like that was the most serious he's ever been on the show he started it off too he's's like, men, we have to change. And I thought he was going to be serious. He was. But yeah. So wait, he's doing 23 milligrams? No, threes.

Threes. Three. Oh. Yeah, I'm out. Okay. Threes. I do two seconds. Threes across the board or just zins?

Just zins. Fucking ugly? No, no. He'll never shoot inside the paint? Never. Threes only this year I've been on that The threes We have 12s up in the studio

And Kyle just says he puts them in for like 30 seconds To take them and then takes them out He's I miss him He's got COVID Does he? I was gonna ask if he had the big C So what happened?

I don't know how he got it. So people are actually getting it again? Oh, yeah. I think it's all rage now. If I get sick, I'm not going to test. No. Right. I was sick all last week.

I came in here and I was hugging you boys. Starting to put some things together. Hold on a second. I hung out with Kyle more than any of y'all it'll be good for the covid with this new trend of just putting your finger in everyone's drink oh yeah yeah that'll be nice that's a trend it's a oh yeah i used to do that like i feel like five or ten years ago but it's funnier if you do it food i like pass the mashed potatoes then you just put your finger in their food. When a friend of mine goes to the bathroom at a bar,

I'll get everybody I can grab, people I don't even know, and we all put our finger in their drinks at once, and I take a picture. And then when the person comes back from the bathroom, I'm like, let's chug our fucking drink. Oh, that's evil, and I love it. And as they're chugging it, I send them the photo. I love it.

Yeah, this is what they do. Yeah, it's a big tap in. Tapping in. But that's so, okay, so that's different than what I used to do because I used to do it, I would do,

That's a whole fist. You do it to other people's drinks. Is that not the trend? My buddy did that unironically as like a scumbag thing. Yeah, that's what I used to do. I used to be a scumbag. No, I used to like,

you just point, you're like, you see that over there and you just stick your finger in their drink. Just drop it in, yeah. Yeah. That's way better. I don't really like this tap-in thing.

You can't do it with beer bottles. Have you been tapping in, TJ? That's sauce. No, I don't really get it. I don't hate it, but I just don't hate it. It'd be funny if someone did it like right before they're like, fuck a girl and they just got their finger in like their vagina

yeah tapping in real quick yeah like random shit that you can tap into I like trying to tap into the nose strings the people that are doing that

aren't having sex though yeah just put your finger in the toilet bowl I'll take a piss shit tapping in or would you do it

in your own asshole before you shit oh that's a good question I'll take shit what would they call that not like a dirty sanchez but uh a dirty tap i think it's like yeah you're like pressing the elevator button yeah yeah press the elevator button i like i invented the bingo dabber it's when you push out a turd on a window and then suck it back in your butt but it leaves like the brown circle wait what i've never done it but i

just yeah you have a trademark you don't invent something i trademarked the car i'd be like the wright brothers being like we never flew i'm trademarked the car talking about you absolutely i don't have that kind of sphincter control to you've done more eel and then suck back in you have bingo dabbed yeah you know what that's on my wheel now we'll close this and wait so you poop into a window no you spread your ass cheeks on a window from what i think in my head what my blueprints say and you push out a little turd till it touches the window then you suck it back up and just leaves a brown circle that's like like a bingo yeah the bingo dabber yeah did you write the urban dictionary for that i don't know if it exists it does now yeah yeah Bingo dab. Yeah. The bingo dabber. Yeah. I like that.

Did you write the Urban Dictionary for that? I don't know if it exists. It does now. Yeah. Yeah. The bingo dabber. Someone's done that somewhere. Definitely.

Oh, yeah. I think it's safe to say maybe that hasn't been done. No, I'd say someone- No, it's been done. If you just see a brown circle on a window, that's ass height. That's hilarious. Yeah. Pete Manning probably did it at Tennessee Locker Room.

Oh yeah, to a poor, poor athletic trainer. Yeah. No, I was just trying to do a handshake. Bingo dab. Beauty marketer. That is the one item that just probably never comes to mind when you're about to take a shit. Go find a window.

No, but if you're walking, like, this is the optimal situation. If this is shut and somebody's walking to the bathroom to take a shit, there's like a boop. So if we walk in here one day and there's a brown circle. Yeah, that's what will happen. There really aren't windows that are asshole height in bathrooms. No, I think there's another window.

You have to, yeah. Men have to shit all the time, not just in bathrooms. You remember Jerome Bettis' bar in Pittsburgh? Yeah. You could look out at people while you took a piss. You still can. Really? Yeah.

I just assumed a bar like that was probably out of business. No, it's still, yeah, you can still do that. It's really weird. It's like the top shelf of the urinal is the window to look out. It's literally made to jerk off to looking at people. It looks out to the hostess station. Yes. Creepy.

They can't see down to your penis? They can't see back in or they can? No, it's a two-way mirror. It's like Kirby Puckett's restaurant. Yeah urinal ever yeah you can look out it is actually awesome because you're just like i'm just taking a piss is it two-way no people can't see people can't see in bro i i had a dramatic misunderstanding of what you guys were talking about i thought it was looking out into the street or something no into the restaurant looking into yeah i want those at the top row of movie theaters when you have to piss during a movie oh that's genius that's brilliant yeah that's fucking genius wow to the top and piss and wow damn i want them

at the bottom row so everybody knows who's pissing taking advantage of it yeah wow you're a pussy if you have to take a piss during a movie yep i agree but you gotta you gotta be able to hop in high no no no no no i know your body you're wrong about this no yeah i think you're wrong can't even wait the whole yak yeah you're wrong no i don't think so i i actually think that the the the post-movie theater piss is one of the best pisses in the world first thing you gotta do you get your popcorn and everything and you go fine but the first thing you got the bathroom relative to your theater yeah i don't know where it is principle but like they're these movies are so fucking long the

new avatar was all right but what reviews alone like a two hour two and a half hour two hour you're not pissing i'm with you yeah but no i know i'm pissing i know i don't piss on flights i piss on flights i don't usually flights. It takes all my courage. Here's something. I don't know if anyone's heard of this one. When you land, before you can get off, you take a piss. Oh, my God. You broke the system.

Wow. If you're in the back of the airplane by a bathroom. This was about a year ago. Stephen Chay thought he broke the system. Taking a piss on the airplane when it's landed. After you've landed? It was a low point for this show. Yeah.

One of the great joys of life is getting off the plane and you have to kind of pee and you just go straight to the bathroom. That's a great piss right there. That's the same piss as the movie theater piss that you're robbing yourself of. No, no, no. You're saying one of the great joys of life is going to a crowded airport bathroom with people you've just been sitting with for hours airplanes are famously not crowded

when you piss yeah they're it's famously a not crowded situation you're gonna piss right now oh nice is he gonna do the bingo there he's you don't think you don't think he's gonna old nicky that is his restaurant closed during covet i didn't oh i knew that's listen no offense to your own bettis but i feel like if you're an athlete and you name a restaurant after you it closes does somebody bingo dab your shirt i was trying to get away with it it uh the stain is apparent wait you. You see it? Yeah, what is that? I don't know. It's not dry? You don't know? It's wet?

That's a wild answer. It's not wet? I don't know. And it's not wet? I think it's like buffalo sauce. Go smell it, big cat. I thought I was going to get away with it. I didn't really notice it until I was walking up the floor.

So it's obviously got oil or grease of some sort. So, yeah. Hmm. You look pathetic. Yeah, this is bad. Really bad. I've been waiting for someone to bring it up. And here we are. I got you, dog. I don't know. Maybe it's come.

Ryan. Is that what you guys want? Come here. Full time Ryan. Full time Ryan Full time Ryan Sit down real quick What Guy inside the guy Guy behind the guy What is your thought process

When Jerry's about to puke? Because that was a great save I appreciate that Yeah yeah Are you just always on the ready? Yeah you gotta be on your toes I mean you also saw him Gagging

Yes A couple times previously before it actually coming out. Yeah. So you've just got to be on your toes. Yeah. Jerry was making gag reflex noises like crazy yesterday before it actually exiled vomited. So you've just got to be ready for it.

Yeah, and he just pukes right where he's standing where'd you go to school Ryan? Iowa oh no way yeah you know the shoes really

do they have a game today? and what's what's with the hat? I like the hat you just you just root for MLB? no I actually got this

when I worked the Field of Dreams game oh what'd you do? I was a runner slash like mainly helping the talent. A pinch runner? No. That would be sick.

Doing, like, a lot of post-production videography work, working with a lot of talent like A-Rod and Bit Poppy, a couple other guys. So I was there in Iowa and Dyersville for the week. That's sick. That was a sick event cubs versus reds yeah yeah cubs guys yeah that was awesome watching them yeah how was it working for a rod and big poppy uh intimidating i'm not gonna lie yeah they're they're big big guys big

names uh it they they're they're nice i mean you don't really you can only have so much interaction right with them uh right because they're obviously working as well. But, yeah, it was a surreal moment to work with them. It was very fun, but, yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Ryan. Congrats on full time. I appreciate it.

Great job saving the basketball court. He's a demon. He's a great vibes guy too. He lasted all the jokes behind the camera. He does wear something Iowa like every day. I love that about him. Wearing something flashy to rep your school is a weird fucking thing. That's a game day.

They don't play today at all. Yeah. That's like an equipment manager's shoes. Yeah. Like a team issue. Yeah. What are we going to bet on tonight, Titus? Oh, that's right.

Yeah. Huge game. Badgers go high state. Loser has to. Oh. Hmm. Hmm. Oh. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. We need this way more than you guys do. All right, fine. I'll give it to you. All right. Can you talk to the boys? Yeah, I got you. We need this game.

Yep. Yeah. All right. I got you. Cool. It's friends over friends. No problem. They'll listen to me

I will be very sad if we lose tonight is it in Columbus? yeah it's in Columbus speaking of Big Ten basketball Kyle not being here of course we're missing the opportunity to call the West Lafayette Fire Department

that's what they're handling TJ can you play that clip? do you want me to call Kyle right now and see see if you call west law fayette yeah yeah that was a tough one for the boys and kyle like slowly realizing because i think he went to bed early because he's been sick and he's like wait they lost in nebraska produced two losses are nebraska and northwest. Two of the worst Power 5 basketball programs. Not good. Yeah, he called that. He completely called it.

It's not an upset when you beat Purdue. But Kyle said you can't storm the court, right? Right. They did. Like top five and they get beat. You're not a Zach Heaney guy? That happens every time. That happened a few days ago. I always see Purdue as like top three and they get beat.

Like that's not an upset if you beat Purdue. No matter what their rank is. If you beat Purdue, it's not an upset. Purdue is always losing. That's not an upset if you beat Purdue moving forward. He called it. Has it happened like three times since then? And it's never – Purdue never is never – they're never number one

and lose to like the 12th-ranked team. Right. It's always an unranked team. It's always the 16th seed. Yeah. It's never like – yeah, but they were four-point favorites, you know. You see how it could happen. It's always –

It's crazy. He's exactly right. It's not an upset. They lost to Nebraska. He watches sports without passion for the teams. He's so grounded and logical that it just... He sees it as pure as possible. Yes.

Yeah, he's like a fresh set of eyes on all sports. He might be the most unbiased set of eyes in sports. That's actually probably true. Yeah. We got to keep him gambling. He... Don't worry about that. Yeah.

Don't worry about that. He't worry about that He called last weekend Of football Fiend week Yes And I was like Hey do you guys wanna Record a bonus episode And he's like

On fiend week Legitimately But he won his He won his golden bag And now he's going For platinum bag Oh Yeah

Platinum bag I know Wait why is platinum ahead of gold? I think it's, I don't know. Haven't we done this? Yeah, we probably have.

Did we do this? God damn it, we definitely have. Did we tier that? Oh, is it, I mean, he brings his food? Oh, shit.

That's why I forgave it because the restaurant's incredible. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's going to be, the vultures have already torn down. It's all gone, Brandon. That guy can cook. Oh, it's going to be the vultures have already torn down. It's all gone, Brandon. That guy can cook. Oh, once again, I've had Paige put us some food aside.

Nick, you did your What's for Lunch episode, finally. Oh, debut. No, I filmed my second one with Donnie. It's filmed. Oh. It's in the bank. Has he done another one? Has he released the first one?

Has he released the second one? Mm-mm. No, we're just banking them. I saw you guys filming the other day, and I got excited. I was like, oh, this is a long time coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, that was my second episode. So that one's coming out today, unless...

Somebody famous shows up. Yep. I'm that. Yeah. And then it'll be banked. But I make some references to the first video that hasn't come out yet, so it's going to be a little tricky. I've secured us a ring.

Whoa. A wrestling ring. I've secured us one. Oh. Yeah, Brandon texted me last night. He's like, I've written the whole script. Yeah, I got it. He's got the script.

Let me guess, you have winning. No. You've got to tune in. All I'll say is i've been watching wrestling for a long time interesting yeah yeah i got reached out to by a wrestler i used to wrestle in japan oh really wait so how much was the ring uh i think we'll just be able to get it for free a free ring here he is jerry i mean we'll probably have to shout out the people to give it to sure yeah yeah how you feeling jerry are you feeling jerry i mean not

great sit down let's let's do some therapy here yeah i don't i i don't think all right tell us how what are your mentals at not good i saw you release a notes app yeah i feel like that was you know kind of a warranted move i don't know i mean i don't think so dude i i i really don't think so what does it say you don't think what i don't think it I mean, I don't think so, dude. I really don't think so. What does it say? You don't think what? I don't think it was a crazy move. A no-tap's always a bad move. Okay, listen. The hole-in-one challenge, great. Sure, amazing. A lot of content.

Great views. Never gonna have another stream like that again. Ever. That's not true. Ever. I knew that going in. Jerry, you could. That's not true ever that's not i knew that going here you could that's not true the next stream was always going to be a stream where it's like entertaining the everything that happened yesterday was bad from from the start lucas asked me can you rollerblade i said no does it anyway i fall i hurt myself i go spider me to the, we were in urgent care for like three hours yesterday

doctor comes back, there's significant swelling, the AC joint possibly messed up, they didn't do an MRI because they don't have the machine there, she said it might be rotator cuff, that requires surgery I'm in pain, I can't take Percocet, I can't take pain pills I went

on the stream last night hoping that, like, hey, it would be, you know, decent. Every comment is just negative. Fine, you want to put negative comments. The problem with that is we don't know if the stream is actually bad or not. But I told you it was good. It was great. No, I don't know. No, it's not.

You can't listen to the chat. Well, then there will be no chat. It's the chat. Well, then there will be no chat. It's that simple. Well, then there will be no chat. We have to figure out a fine line. Dude, our chat hates us. No, no, it's different. No, they're negative.

We also don't read it the whole time. Yeah, right. But his show is set up to read it, so I understand. Yes, our show is set up like that's a big part of the show. It turns on the Jumbotron. I understand. You know? But youth grew up and pissed on stream. Yeah, but they don't care about that no i it's what happened when

we came on like it doesn't yes very good and i snapped and i was like fuck this chat and i i think you take it out of the chat because they know that they got you and they get me every week i know but they that's that's what they're looking forward. I understand it's a very important part of the show, but I was watching, and you guys were playing Milk Pong. It was fucking hilarious. They're never satisfied. That's the problem. I understand that, but you got to understand.

People, okay, the problem with this is we did a whole one stream. They hated it. They hated it. This is the most boring stream ever. Boring stream ever. Ends up being great. Ends up being great. Ends up being great. Right.

So that's a point to not listen to. My point is they just don't care. Right. They don't care. Right. So when you know that, when you know that you, like, whatever they say, like, dude, this, like, you don't think people nitpick everything I do? Like, there's things that you just got to tune it out.

I think if you listen to just a couple people who are going to nitpick you. 10,000 people in a chat, 9,950 are doing it. They've unionized. But to Jerry's point, how do you tune out the chat while also interacting with the chat? That part is we got to figure out. He's giving them control of the show and they're abusing the power. They run the show. Yeah.

My point is you got to know that they're going to fuck with you. Yes, but they're abusing it. They run the show. Yeah. My point is you've got to know that they're going to fuck with you. Yes, but they're abusing the power now. It's 10,000, 15,000 against one. Can I say something though, Jerry? Yeah. Last week in the Hole-in-One stream, you never made it about the chat. You made it about the Hole-in-One. You were facing the golf stream the whole time.

You were giving content, giving content, giving content, and eventually everybody became on board because what you were doing was great. If you just did that, did the act, and then the chat's going to be forced to follow along look right now tj just sent me they're going to be the death chat sound in spanish jerry smollett boo sound in spanish pissy jerry like you can't listen to it fake podcast yeah uh injuries fake injuries dude i mean i went to a doctor in urgent care. I know. Can I just, one more thing?

They didn't have an MRI machine, right? No. I feel like you should go get an MRI somewhere. Yeah, I mean, I will. Okay. But yeah, soon. Sling is funny. Well, she said it's... Sling is funny.

Cherry in the sling in the wheelchair. It's very funny. I mean, dude, it was never meant to be... Like, people think this whole thing was a setup. Cherry in the sling It's very funny I mean Dude it was never meant to be Like people Like people think This whole thing was a setup Like Oh he went to urgent care

So he didn't have to do the stream tonight The original stream But they're fucking with you That's crazy dude They're fucking with you Dude I'm losing sleep over it My mental is My mental is

I'm a shell of myself I feel you dude What'd you do when you got home last night Dude Genesis was like are you okay I was like just don't Don't talk to me I can't talk right now What'd you do when you got home? Dude, Genesis was like, are you okay? I was like, just don't talk to me. I can't talk right now. What'd you do when you got home?

I was just reading comments the whole night. See, that's the problem. Yeah. This happened to another guy I know. Yeah. There's a couple people that DM me that were like... This is Bosco Bay. But there was a couple people that DM me and they were like, dude, I actually feel bad.

Like, I'm sorry if I was mean. Oh, no, TJ. TJ. Tyler the Creator said that? Tyler the Creator said that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely about.

That's the guy that went viral a couple years ago, right? He's a big deal. Him in Earl's sweatshirt right How much does he know who I am I think that was a fake See It wasn't fake it was just from 2012 But it didn't add it

There's another word instead of Jerry That was there Is that what the word is So my idea was to you Was Chat wants to run the show. Chat wants to do anything. All that shit. Talk all the shit you want.

I'll do it. I'll do a 24-hour stream in the telephone booth. No phone. I can't say a word. Silent stream. You'll lose your mind, Jerry. Yeah, you guys just do whatever you want. Will you be reading the chat as you sit down?

No, I can't talk. So you're just do whatever you want. Will you be reading the chat as you sit down? No, can't talk. So you're just going to sit silently looking at nothing. Yep. So Jerry, that's just a chat room you made that you're not in. Yeah. Let them have it. Jerry, you're punishing yourself. That's a punishment for yourself.

24 hours, Jerry? I guess. Solitary confinement? You would not, like, you'll lose your mind I already lost my mind I was debating on shutting down the show no

I had thoughts you're on the run of a lifetime I had thoughts we gotta also pivot away from the physical challenges not permanently obviously but just for a little while do some just for a little while do some uh nick had an idea read just read a book whole book whole book book yeah sit and read the audience yeah read a book good idea read a book i just think all right so here's here's the other

thing you're dealing with that that is a real thing you have to understand that not every single show is going to be like the greatest show ever yeah we get that criticism all the time on here we're like oh yeah yak had a bad show this like this guest sucked it's like we do a show every day 300 shows a year some of them won't be the best show ever it's the consistency that people are here for yak fell off yak is back back on a heater yeah all the time you just got to tune it out and you got to keep doing what you think is funny yeah i mean everything lucas thinks of i think has potential to be funny and entertaining and then it's it's just horrible when you get up

there we prep all this shit we spend all this money to do stuff, and it's like the worst thing ever. I think what you've got to do is you've got to turn off the chat, have someone read the chat, and they can read comments to you. So you're interacting with the chat but not all the chat. Yeah, don't have the chat on the Jumbotron. Just have Lucas read comments here and there. How is he going to read every comment? He doesn't have to read everyone.

No, he can read the vibe. You can just be like, Lucas, what are they saying? Yeah. They're calling you Jerry Smollett. Yeah. TJ, what are they saying? He'll just be like, they don't like it. Are they calling him Jerry Smollett right now, TJ?

They're saying he should read the New York Times bestseller. Oh, you could read our book. It's too short. It's an easy read. Yeah. 75 pages. Also, you could just get moderators for the chat. Oh, yeah.

You could get moderators for the chat. Because your chat is so fucking fast. Or just put a timer on it. Or... Jerry, you can get a team of moderators. You could also... Jerry, put on your headphones. Put on your headphones.

TJ's got good ideas. I don't know what this sub... You guys are over 100K subs now, so you should be allowed to start doing channel members. You could charge for the chat if you wanted to. Right. What do you mean? Hold on. People could have to pay for the chat. YouTube has a start doing channel members you could charge for the chat if you wanted right what do you mean hold on like people could have to pay for the chat youtube has a thing called

channel members pat mcafee show does it with his youtube chat where you have to pay like a dollar a month in order to be in the chat and it slows his chat down pretty drastically because he has so many he has 50 000 viewers if the chat was just open it would be impossible to read so he charges for it oh yeah and then all right yeah Yeah, so he paid for a membership. Does that affect viewership, though? No. Maybe a little bit, but it makes your chat usable. Like, your chat isn't usable right now.

It's just a wall of text. If you have 10,000 people watching, there's probably only, like, 5 to 750 people chatting. Yeah. Like, that's the other thing you've got to realize. There's so many people who are watching who are not in the chat. Yeah, but...

Because it's the same people chatting over and over you think so yes Yes, yeah, and if you lose the people that are only there to troll you fuck them You don't really like they weren't really very fans anyway Spamming elves right now only 500 spamming else. Yeah, they're spamming else to the idea It sucks to have like to spend a dollar to chat But if that if it's that big of an issue that you're like having like a panic attack about the chat like you can make the chat slower yeah there's workarounds here don't shut down the show no i mean i mean we're not going to shut down the show there i was i was i was i was very upset last night i there there has to be a happy medium i agree like because it's going to

affect us in the long run like we don't know what's good, what's bad. You know what I mean? Like, for real. You want it to be the spot, like, when I did the Doug streams, it was kind of in a good spot where the chat would fuck with me, but they also were rooting for me. Yeah, this is completely flipped. But the Doug streams had a clear ending. Yeah, that's true.

But they would fuck with me. No sound, slider check. Like, it would get me frustrated. It absolutely happened. Yeah. But it is part of the interaction. Yeah, no, it is. Engagement is always great on the show.

It's fine. I'm not worried about engagement or views. We want to put on a good show. We want to have people entertained. But when you have a million messages just being like, hey, this is the worst thing I've ever seen. Jerry never went to the doctor. It's a hard part of our job, though, Jerry.

Like, there are people... That's why I shouldn't be here. Like, I should just go... No, stop. No, no. I should just give this up and go back to a normal life. Shut up. I can find a great job here as an electrician or a pipe fitter,

something like that. I could find a great job, maybe not electrician or a pipe fitter, something like that. I could find a great job, maybe not a pension. He's spitting right now. It's very relatable. Jerry, you're built for this. We've all been there. You're built for this. We've all been in your spot.

Yeah, but people are like, oh, the fame went to his head. What fame? What fame? You got some chicken pot pies. Yeah, that's the extent of my fame. Marie Callender delivering me chicken pot pies. That's pretty good. I'm not like some rich famous guy.

Chicken pot pies. I think a lot of it is them busting your balls too. Correct. They're fucking with you. Yeah. It's funny. That part is funny. Everybody that's worked here has had this thought. They're leaking my address in the chat. That's fucked up. That's fucked up.

That's moderators. That's the shit. That's why we need moderators. I don't understand that level of... Explain about this moderator situation. Jerry needs a mod squad. Yeah. What do they do?

It just gives them a menu where they could time somebody out for five minutes if you wanted to, or you could just ban them, or you could delete a message. I think we should start at five-minute bans. Yeah. Putting people on time out. I time people out constantly. All right. So listen, my Twitter's back.

If you want to be a mod and you love the show, you like Jerry After Dark. I don't know if this is a great idea. What happens if you need some nerds? Stop, stop. We're going to get the people who fuck with you to the mod. Correct. And they're going to fuck with you, stop. We're going to get the people who fuck with you mod. Correct. And they're going to fuck with you even more. They're going to get inside.

You're letting them inside the house. We got a guy. We have a guy. Really? He was born to be a mod. Yeah. What happens if you came out the womb modding? You know who would be a great mod?

Liam. Liam would be. Okay. He's a weapon on the internet. Okay. That's true. I like that. I like Liam. He'd be chief mod. I like Liam. I let Liam build his squad. weapon. Okay. He's a weapon on the internet. Okay. That's true. I like that. I like Liam.

He'd be chief mod. I like Liam. Let Liam build his squad. Yeah. Okay. A mod. I trust Liam. Why'd you lose your Twitter?

That was funny because Jerry's like, I don't know why I lost my Twitter. You definitely told someone to kill themselves. I mean, I had to. Jerry was blaming the chat on that one. It was like, Jerry, I've seen some of your tweets. You definitely went hard in the paint for something. Listen, I only get super mad when people either talk about, like, drug addiction, you're a crackhead. That pisses me off, you know what I mean?

That's when you'll get to block. Yeah. Block. Block. Yeah. Talk to me real quick. So, too big for the bridges? I mean, I thought that was a saying.

That is a saying. I say that all the time. What are we talking about? Too big for your bridges is a saying. No, he said too big for your bridges. Oh. Oh, okay. The city of Pittsburgh is getting too big for its bridges.

Brooklyn is too big for their bridges. Actually, there probably is some functionality there that you need for your bridges. Brooklyn is definitely too big for their bridges Actually there probably is some functionality there There is some Brooklyn is definitely too big for their bridges I mean People said that it probably started as bridges And went to bridges No it's always been bridges It definitely started with pants

I thought a bird just flew through Don't get too big for your bridges Yeah I mean I felt like I was right With the notes app Yeah I just Notes app is always There's no good way

To do a notes app No I titled it good Worded it good No I'm saying The idea of a notes app It's like Really you're gonna

Address something I didn't have a twitter Cause you told someone To kill themselves How'd you put it out there I put it out there Like 12 or 1 in the morning. Oh, how?

After dark. Oh, Jerry. It went out there. It said, I'm extremely upset with tonight's stream. We will never have as big of a stream as the hole-in-one. That's not true. Yeah, I agree with that. That is not true.

That's not true. You wouldn't have thought before that you would have had a stream that big. Yeah. You also can't have that mindset. Like, the foreplay guys, that video with Tiger today was incredible. Everyone should go watch it, by the way. Yeah. Like, I know that they're thinking, like, that was the peak,

but, like, tomorrow they'll wake up and be like, what's next? That's the mindset you have to have. Every time you do a big thing, you can't be, like, satisfied. You're like, what's next? I'm on to the next thing. It's also good to know that you have that capability. Right. That you could get there. All right, so so wait let me read the whole notes app all right i'm extremely upset with

tonight's stream we will never have as big of a stream as the hole in one i knew that going into tonight we have made that the chat a big part of our show for obvious reasons it's fun to interact with the fans on a weekly basis the engagement is always great but it's gotten to the point of being really toxic and uncalled for. We try our best every week to make the show fun. Sometimes we don't have the best ideas, but we are learning. We're only a few shows in. It's a process.

I'm not saying every chat has to be super positive, but show a little respect. I literally can't lift my arm. We'll be back next week. I'm very frustrated after tonight. I have a lot to think about. Jerry the Pooh. He's Jerry the Pooh. You're half-pooed.

A couple things in there made you look like a pussy, but that's okay. What, the word toxic? That was my POV of Jerry. Toxic is a bad one, yeah. That just sounds like oh, it's gotten so toxic. That's lib shit. Yeah, you're lib. That was a real lib thing.

What's another word I could use? That's Jerry Biden. That was a real lib thing. What's another word I could have used? Stressful. Yeah, it puts the onus on you, not... You're kind of saying, like, you guys are the problem, not me. I think it's a... Toxic was probably the wrong word. It's a symbiotic relationship. Yeah, toxic might have been the wrong word. Yeah, no, you're trying

to police speech now. You're lib. I don't know the furthest thing from it. Check the voting card. Check the vax card. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, it's blank.

Blank. The end of the day, though, Jerry, I watched the whole second one. I thought it was funny. Like, people thought... And then you go... And then I go... I tweet something on Twitter.

Everyone's like, this is hilarious like This is hilarious This is funny I don't know man Yeah I mean I hope they're just trolling They are Because they know

They have you The minute you show That they have you They go even harder Yeah It should just be You and Lucas Whatever you and Lucas

Think is best Is what you should do But then I feel bad Not acknowledging them Because they're Using their time. It's a weird feeling. To watch us. You gotta find a happy medium. We can find a happy medium.

Because the second you're not thankful for the people watching, they're gonna... Exactly. You could be thankful for the people watching while also not internalizing all of their critiques. Maybe I should just set a timer. Every 10 minutes just thank the chat. Thank you for stopping by tonight. Appreciate you guys. There we go. And then just go along with the challenge.

Just tell the chat you're giving PS5s. I also think the physical challenges are probably destroying you. Yeah. I've got diarrhea all night and all morning. What did you do with your left? Dan, I don't want to sound gross. Yeah, how are you wiping your ass?

Yeah, left. I'm just shitting out diarrhea that smells like milk. Disgusting. Like a baby. Isn't that right, brother? Yeah. Oh, man. You're going to find it, Jerry.

It's a tough thing. We've all dealt with it. When's the next episode? Part of our career. Tuesday. Okay. That's a lot of time. We'll build ourselves back up.

So Silent Stream is out. I don't know. It feels like that's way more of a punishment for you. Maybe not 24 hours. I thought it would be a punishment for them. No. You're punishing yourself. Three hours.

I think you'd lose your mind two hours into a pure Silent Stream in a dark room. Yeah, maybe. You need to find, for next season, you need to find a good eating challenge that will be fun. Hot wings? Maybe. I mean, you're funny when you're in your... I don't even know about eating. Eating, I think...

Let's do one that's not taxing on the body. I have a psychological one, I think. So you pitched the idea of bringing in a bunch of women and looking at their feet, right? So what about like you're building a house of cards. You have to use all 52 cards. It has to get a certain height. This is good. We get like 50, 30, I don't't know name a number of women who are here um every time the house of cards falls one woman gets to

leave oh and once the house of cards is finished you get to see all the remaining women's feet oh so it's like a psychological punishment it's like every time, instead of like, I have to make myself puke, it's like, fuck, there goes another. How fast do you think I can if I was to do feet to streets? How fast do you think I get girls to show up to the office? By Tuesday? Probably.

Feet to streets would be fantastic. I just want a king's chair in the center court. But people want risk of failure. That's what I'm saying. You have to have something. What if you had 10 girls and one guy? Yeah. There was a screen, and you only saw the feet,

and you had to ask them questions, and they wrote back, and you had to figure out which one was the guy. Oh, that's great. That's a good one. Couple guys. Couple guys. And you do the milk challenge.

Yeah. No more. I'm not on that. You should do the milk challenge. Yeah. No more milk. I'm not on it. You should do the milk challenge every Tuesday. The chat would want you, like, you would pick the best set of feet. And what if you picked a guy? Yeah, that'd be bad. Bad, Jer.

That'd be bad. I don't know. We'll think about it, you know? Okay. Think about it. Don't be down. I'm up. We'll build it back up.

I was down. I'm back up now. You got too many people in your corner to To give up on this Yeah, no We got a lot to think about, Lucas got a lot to think about too Also, like Have I ever steered you wrong?

Bears game last week Okay, well there's one That's one, that's it That's the exception that makes the rule true But like, in terms of content, have I ever steered you wrong? No, well, there's one. That's one. That's it. That's one. That's a different. That's the exception that makes the rule true. But, like, in terms of content, have I ever stood in front? No, no, no. Like, I think I know at least a little bit of, like, what's funny and what's good.

You're good. You guys were fine last night. I pissed when you were. That was so much piss. I know the funniest part was you just standing in your piss just over and over being like, I've never pissed that much. I think it was the body armor. Just hydrating.

Oh, yeah. It hydrates you. It goes right through. It's perfect. Also, the visual of you in the sling and the wheelchair and the goalie. I think it was a body armor. Just hydrating. Oh yeah, hydrates you. It goes right through. It's perfect. Also, the visual of you in the sling and the wheelchair and the goalie. I mean, it was so funny. Yeah. What about you do like a,

what's like a 50,000 piece jigsaw puzzle? But like you get to a certain amount of subscribers and you got to use tongs. You got to use oven mitts. There's fans on next to you. You can't leave till the puzzle's done. I like that. It's not going to hurt you.

No. People from the chat, you mean? Yeah. People from the chat blowing on it. No. No. No. No.

Okay. Well, you'll be okay, Jerry. Yeah. Let's get you some mods. Yeah, mods. Yeah. Get you some mods. I'll talk to Liam now.

Yeah. I'll talk to Liam now. Start bossing some people around. Also, let's try to get that MRI done. I'll talk to Liam now. Yeah. I'll talk to Liam now. Start bossing some people around. Also, let's try to get that MRI done. Yeah. We should get the MRI done. We really should. It's so sad.

This has been a common theme around the internet lately. Yeah. It's hard. It's testiness. Right. It's on both ends. It's rough out there. And the other side of it.

Yeah. I mean, it's... How many times have people been like, this show sucks now? Yeah. You can't listen to it. Yeah. I mean, how many times have people been like, this show sucks? Yeah. You can't listen to it. Every single episode? Right.

If you just stay the course. A lot of the ones I'm on. Make things that you think are funny. The majority of people who are not commenting, who are watching, are enjoying it. And that's the way you got to go. You're allowed to dislike some episodes. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

No, of course. And guess what? There are episodes that I know. You leave the room. The crazy part is that people think that we don't know. I can feel when it's like, oh, this didn't hit today, or this was not great. I can feel when it's great. I know almost instantly if it's like a great, like yesterday I thought was a great yak episode

where all the people were like, I just missed the boys riffing. We were for two hours and we talked about everything. Like that was what people are asking for. But then if you read the chat, they're like, well, why aren't they doing this? Why aren't you doing that? You got to just zone it out. People, when we started PMT, everyone shit on it for the first month. They're like, this is the worst thing ever.

It's never going to succeed. What if we just stopped? That would have sucked. And it did eventually succeed? It did eventually succeed. So it's just like staying the course and just knowing that, like, also I just think a lot of people, and I get this, comment negative stuff because, like,

they're kind of internalizing something else going on. You know, it's their escape. And they're like, maybe something's going on in my life i'm gonna comment something negative on someone else's life i do feel for jerry though because following up the hole in one thing is impossible it's actually impossible and you know in the back of your mind if if he gets 200 000 people to watch his next one there's gonna be so many people that are like damn dude that's like a fifth of what you're but with what he's your audience it almost makes you not want to put out something amazing yeah no the what you have to like recondition your brain to because i've i've had this like when you get a big when we get a

big interview on pmt it's like this feeling of like oh my god this is huge so many people were talking about it and like trying to chase that it's telling yourself like hey how about one big interview every month or every two months you know what i mean like find those know that there's telling yourself like hey how about one big interview every month or every two months you know what i mean like find those know that there's that that level you can get to and get to it semi-routinely throughout the year but know that every day you can't get to it this is such a minority of the people that correct it is a very vocal minority of worship correct how do you think the backstreet boys felt when they put out Millennium, and then everybody was so ready for their next album, they put out Black and Blue?

It has the call on it, but... There's no one on the internet who doesn't have haters. I'm more like, because when NSYNC did No Strings Attached, and everybody loved it and loved it and loved it, then they put out Pop, and Pop was okay, but they didn't really fall in love with it. Right, but Backstreet Boys on Millennium had I Want It That Way, the greatest pop song ever written.

Wait, who's better? Hold on, Dan. I would counter with the fact that NSYNC had both Bye Bye Bye and It's Gonna Be Me on no strings attached. Not only, they also had the ballad This I Promise You. When did Backstreet Boys have a power ballad like that? I want it that way, you fucking obtuse fool!

That's not a ballad. That's not a fucking ballad! How is it not a ballad. That's not a fucking ballad. How is it not a ballad? What's the definition of a ballad? It needs to be slower and sadder. It is a slower. That's not slow. That's not slow.

Tell me why. See? Moot can do it. Moot can't ballad. You know Moot can't ballad. I know Moot can't ballad. I could try to ballad. They had the fucking World by the Balls.

Wait, so Backstreet Boys are better than NSYNC? Way. NSYNC is clearly the more talented band they had they're better dancers they had justin timberlake and jc and both of those are better than anybody on the backstreet boys okay you tell me who on the backstreet boys better than justin timberlake aj's a better singer than both of them combined fuck you i will wrestle over this. Oh, let's go. Get him. Nick Carter. Nick Carter, my ass.

Justin Timberlake. Oh, you went Dockage on him. Nick Carter, my ass. Nick Carter, my ass. Carter, his ass. You put so much weight on Justin Timberlake. Why wouldn't I? He was bigger than NSYNC was.

Fine. He's bigger than Backstreet Boys. Backstreet Boys are still the Backstreet Boys. Your band split. I think I kind of side with Nick here in the fact that. That's shocking. I side with Brandon. Oh, what the fuck?

That is shocking. No, but you're putting a lot of. Look at the discography. Look at the number. You're not separating Justin Timberlake's post-insider career. He's not. You're saying they have Justin Timberlake. The man is so talented. They'reory career. He's not. You're saying they have Justin Timberlake. The man is so talented.

They're better dancers. He's so talented. Wait, can we call KB to get him to agree with both of you? He'll figure out a way. Yeah. Okay. Cool. So talented.

Yeah. Pull up the stream. And I know for a fact you love J.C. Chazet. I love J.C. Chazet for sure. So who are you going to hate? Obviously, Chris Kirkpatrick's terrible. But Joey Fatwin? No, he's not. Joey Fatwin? Chris Kirkpatrick's terrible, but Joey, no, he's not.

Joey Kirkpatrick was the voice of chip Skylark. That's sick. I don't do you. He might be sleeping because of COVID. The COVID. Yeah. And he's been in a boat. Hello.

Hello. Hey, how you feeling? Uh, you know, COVID. Yeah. The big C,

uh, who's better in sink or backstreet boys? Yeah. It big C. Who's better, NSYNC or Backstreet Boys? NSYNC. Why? But what about the Backstreet Boys? I think they're both pretty equal in my head. Oh, okay, good. Perfect.

I can't differentiate them at all. I just know Justin Timberlake is NSYNC. Okay, all right. That was a perfect answer. Feel better, Kyle. See you soon. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

So Kyle's on my side. No, he's not. He said they're pretty equal. Yeah, he said they're pretty equal. You just got to Carter his ass, dude. I like J.C. Chazet. His solo work was bad. What was his album called?

Schizophrenia? No, no. You have to separate the solo artist from the group. No, but you were talking that I like J.C. Chazet. I do. You do? I do. I think he was the leading man of NSYNC. nick carter nick carter was in backstreet boys with kevin and

i don't know any of this i don't know either how he was no justin timberlake years old at the time how no kevin was the older one and then brian and you had a crush on brian i fucking know yeah he could hoop fuck he was cute i'm not saying Backstreet Boys aren't great. I'm not. They are great. Or O-Town. Come on, Dan. I want it all or nothing at all.

That was a platform for Ashley Parker Angel. That's a ballad. Just like 98 Degrees was a platform for Lachey. Yeah. Oh, Lachey was in there. Thank you. Shiny teeth in me? Patrick had it figured out Any of the Backstreet Boys voice

Nickelodeon character? I don't think They were too busy being in the Backstreet Boys Yeah cause that's all they could do Oh my god You're crazy bro He's lost his mind You're crazy for that bro

I actually get heated about this They're so much better What was that We need somebody who hasn't Listened to either Probably Che Listened through their top tens Dude I'm a fan of both

I like Backstreet though The Call Gotta go. Just left a weird tension in the air. Yeah, it has. Maybe do the High Noon ad. I'll pick the table up, okay? You like Dream Street?

Jesse McCartney? High Noon, boys. Sip on summer flavors in the middle of winter. Introducing the all-new High Noon, boys. Sip on summer flavors in the middle of winter. Introducing the all-new High Noon Snowbird Pack, featuring a perfect mix of winter and summer flavors. The eight-pack includes two new flavors, raspberry and plum, alongside High Noon classics peach and lemon. Made with real vodka, real juice, the Snowbird Pack is a winter exclusive. Get it before the ice melts. Track down a pack nearest you at highnoonspirits.com.

Raspberry. That's right. Great fruit. The seeds get stuck in your teeth. Raspberries? Look at this. I made this. That's pretty cool, man.

Yo, that's fuckable. That's pretty cool. It is fuckable. Hey, where do you guys think Jim Harbaugh is going to coach? These Chargers. I sent him the sometimes you got to go back to move forward video today, hoping that it would instill something deep inside of him. To do what?

Yeah, but your own team. The Bears have a coach. Your own team announced that they're keeping their coach. know they have their guy i was late so i don't think i thought maybe that i thought in my mind i was like if i text this to jim harbaugh he's gonna watch it and be like man sometimes you do have to go back to move forward if harbaugh texted you back and said i totally would have taken the job if they offered it to me but they're keeping you reflux so nothing i can do. Counterpoint, you texted the wrong person.

Why didn't you text the Bears? Well, because I assumed that if Jim Harbaugh was like, I want to be the Bears coach, they would act accordingly. It didn't work. It's kind of a pathetic move by me. That's fandom. Well, I guess the more pathetic part is like I actually played it out in my head and I was like, Jim Harbaugh's going to win a Super Bowl and it's going to be incredible.

And then they ask him after the Super Bowl, they're like, why'd you come back? And they're like, Big Cat sent me this video. Have you talked to yourself? That would be the pathetic part of this whole thing. Have you talked to yourself into Caleb Williams yet? We're working on it. You've got several months.

It's a process. We're processing things. The situation remains fluid. I've found that out about life. You've got to got several months. It's a process. We're processing things. The situation remains fluid. I've found that out about life. You got to always stay fluid. Everything's fluid. Everything's fluid. Except for like sand.

Material change. Sand can be fluid when added vibration to it. I believe it acts as a fluid. Is that true? I'm shocked. That sounded really smart. Actually, Brandon. Actually.

I think sand moves as a fluid when added vibration. Did you know? By the way, we have hibachi coming on Friday. Hibachi chef. How'd that happen? We're going to do fellow Friday and hibachi on Friday. Is the chef going to be in here? He's going to be right outside there.

I'm going to pick his brain. Yeah. Can't wait to see what kind of paraplegic mook brings in. I know. I know. Mook. A lot of pressure. But yeah, this is going to be a huge- This guy's in an iron lung.

Huge episode. Hibachi. This guy was on Epstein's Island in the wheelchair. Yeah. Oh, look, though. I found that guy. No, but he had fun doing it. I think I have to miss Friday.

What? Oh, closing on my nose. Oh, moving. Yeah. Fuck. Should we not double up Fellow Friday and Hibachi Friday? You're not going to be here Friday? I'm not going to be here tomorrow.

All right, so we won't do Fella Friday. We'll just do Hibachi. We'll go to Hibachi. Sorry. We'll do Hibachi Friday. Hibachi. Mark's house has a wing for a Hibachi restaurant, though, right? We have a lot of work to do to the house.

Changing the gates on my driveway from 23, I'm going to put 34. Yeah. That was my jersey number. I do like the large basketball gym. That suits me well. It's really, though, you showed me some pictures. It's kind of got like a 90s chic vibe. Yeah.

Yeah. I want to update. Yeah, we're going to update some of it. Some of it is a little nostalgic, so I'll leave. But, yeah, a lot of work to be done. And for the listeners, this is 100% true. Yep. You doxed yourself, I think.

Fuck. There might be too many details. No one can find my house. There are a lot of houses with 23 on the gate. No, they can find your house from Google Maps without really having to zoom in from the globe setting. Yeah, up there it is. There's the 23.

Wall of China, 23. That's cool. That's going to suck to move. Really, really going to suck. At least the weather's going to be good. I think I'm going to die in my current house. Yeah? Yeah, I just don't want to move ever again.

I have that thought, too. Yeah, as we're going into it I'm pretty excited but I'm also like this could be it yeah this just might be it I might just live here the rest of my life

I had that I had that thought when we moved into this office I was like the last yak the last PMT will probably be here

here do you think do you think the last yak slash PMT will be you'll know it or will it be do you think it's gonna slash PMT will be – you'll know it, or will it be – do you think it's going to go out with a sudden thing? Are you going to die by surprise?

Are we going to get the show ends and the zoom in on the family picture and the lights get turned off type deal? I think I'm going to do – Or is it just going to be like, by the way, we're done? I'm going to do a year retirement tour. Okay. Yeah. Everyone's got to get all the other – Kelseysey's podcast have to give me a gift yeah

no i would imagine it would be like uh it wouldn't be one day you just wake up and it's gone it's gone yeah you have to say it i think that's how we're gonna do anus yeah that i like but it's also like a nerve-wracking people i've actually thought about that like what if i just what if i just picked up my whole family like moved to like new mexico i just didn't tell anyone yeah amazing pulled an re gold well who's that guy um sports by brooks yes yes do you remember that? Oh, my God. He did everything. So Sports by Brooks was like a very, very popular early internet site. It was like, for a while there, it was like Barstool Sports and Sports by Brooks. He would write about sports.

He'd post some titties, you know, guy stuff. He broke. He didn't break Sandusky, but he broke like it was around that time. Something like that. It was like a massive story I thought he broke. I don't know if you can look up. he literally had a blog that he updated every day, and then one day he just didn't update it, and then it was just over. He was gone.

Gone. And has anybody? Yes. People have tried to reach out to me. People have found him. One guy, was it Jeff Perlman? Jeff Perlman, I think. Jeff Perlman found him, was prepared to write a story, and then said, I can't do this.

Yeah, it's basically like I've talked to him and I don't think he'd be right. Yeah, this would be irresponsible to... Did he lose his mind? He might have. Yeah. Or he found it. Or he found it. You know?

Yeah. But it was like a very... It's like an internet mystery. Yeah. That'd be cool to be an internet mystery, like what happened to them. I feel bad for Amanda Bynes. To recap the latest on sports by brooks he alive and living in la yes sports by brooks tweets are by him

he claims to have spent the last five years researching football paul paps has the full story but isn't sharing brooks is bringing back the website i actually remember i don't think any of this was true was it no because i was so 2018 when was the super bowl in san francisco 2015 i want to say i went out with paul who works for dan patrick show great dude um and he tried to call him when we were drunk one night oh and i don't think he picked up if i remember correctly but he knew he like texted with him semi-frequently. Internet mystery. I love Pauly. It is a great... It would be a great move to just disappear and never...

I'm going to do it. Yeah. Sooner than later. They should make witness protection for the internet people. Do you guys have your plan? Oh, I'm just going back from Mississippi. I have my plan. Yeah, mine's not that elaborate.

Mine is. Mine is move to Wildwood, New Jersey and make cheesesteaks and hoagies. Oh. Probably do Percocets and play Xbox. You should just. You could do that right now. Yeah, you could do that right now. Yeah.

Yeah. But I have that in the back of my mind. I think I would move to Hawaii. I'm going abroad. Yeah? Yeah. What is that, Steven? Oh, you're just wearing a.

Oh. Oh, cool. There is a. Speaking of Hawaii. Hey, Oh, you're just wearing a... Oh. Oh, cool. There is a... Speaking of Hawaii, Steven's sweatshirt. In the last couple of weeks, a bunch, not a bunch, but a few YouTubers have started to...

Like, the first era of YouTubers retiring has begun. Matt Pat, CaptainSparklez. CaptainSparklez? CaptainSparklez? There's been a couple guys recently that have announced, like, it's been 10 15 years

i'm like stepping back from the channel or retiring altogether which is like the first time that's sort of happened in the internet age i guess yeah so what are they gonna do though because like this is obviously a speaking of personal experience i think the fear is like you would miss the like what you've built. You'd miss the content high, the feeling of being able to talk and make people laugh. How do you fill that void? Yeah. Because, yeah, Dan, if you retired today, you would wake up and be like, I can do anything I want in the world.

And all you want to do is just gamble on football and and talk and fuck around talk about football yeah and it would just ultimately lead you right back i'll just be doing my job to no one yeah correct so you might as well there's no difference in my like yeah like when people are like how is like all this you know like barstools growth and like money changes like i really don't yeah nothing has really changed i just i just gam i would gamble i'd probably try to live closer to like a horse track yeah that pretty much would be the only change yeah i would yeah and i would probably like set up like a sick man cave and try to invite my friends over to watch football yeah which is the gambling cave and then eventually i'd

be like what if we just turn the camera on? We'll just turn the camera on. Yeah, that's exactly what we're doing. We'll just turn the basketball on. We don't have to make it public, but what if we just got these moments? You'd disappear, right, Brandon? Oh, yeah. I would as well.

Yeah, I'm a disappear guy. I'd go to Mississippi and never hear from my fat ass again. No, you wouldn't. You would still have takes about college football that you would not be able to hold in. My next step will be just I'll go back to the Mississippi State universe. The minute Boomer Sooner, Big Game Boomer, puts you at like 75th, you would, the fire in your belly. Yeah.

No, the second he puts me at two. Yeah, you got to be one forever now. It would be a shame if he put you at two this time. You're a disappear guy, Mark? A real shame. Well, I'm going to move to Santa Barbara, California, and start an Indiana high school basketball call-in show that I run from Santa Barbara, California.

It's a live radio show. You live in and out there? I don't hate that. I don't think that makes sense. I take phone calls from coaches and uh we ask how the game went tonight they they break it down for me and i'm like good luck coach and that's it and i might in my in my head my audience is like in between a thousand and two thousand people and i think that's what i do with my and we're broadcasting from santa barbara

like 5 p.m local time because the high school game, maybe 6 p.m. Yeah. I got this all played out. Yeah. I think I'm going to end up managing Tommy's career. Are you? Yeah. I think we're about 10 years from me just running things behind the scenes for him. I like that. I'm going to disappear, write bad sci-fi under a pen name.

Perkins Cole. Define sci-fi. Perkins Cole. It's like science-y fiction. Wait, you can't give away your pen name. No, that was a red herring that's not gonna be my pen name a lot of what the YouTubers

do though like the YouTuber long-term model now is like building like a network or an ecosystem which is I mean kind of what this place is

right like building something that like you could come back to at any point 50 years from now if you wanted to and there'll be people here running the show still

but that's definitely the goal yeah that's definitely the goal of this place like in you know when my kids get older like just being able to be like uh content in emeritus passing this torch to nicky smokes i called that i need apology from pft what just make carol this guy is this guy yeah tom pelosaro p carosaro. P. Carroll's out. Wow. Wow. He's been around forever. Was it mutual? Was he just retiring?

Can't tell. I called that, and everyone said I was crazy. Make sure this is not ball sack. No, it's him. Remain in the organization. Okay. Yeah, he's the oldest head coach, right? He's 70-plus.

Not anymore. That's a shocker in Seattle. Him and Belichick, right, are the oldest? I said that, though, because he's 72. The Seahawks are kind of in a weird pattern of just not being good enough, and you're in that spot where you're like, hey, are we going to do a full rebuild with a 72-year-old coach? I need justice. I said that.

Were you wrong in some way? No, not really. I think PFT and Hank were like, no, he's not going to leave. But you need justice. Yeah, I need justice. Because I said, I was like, because we were talking about coaches, I was like, here's a name that's kind of crazy, Pete Carroll. And they all were like, no way.

What? They're going to give Vrabel a shot up there? Caleb DeBoer. What jobs are open? Not eventually open, but are actually they're gonna be open raiders falcons titans falcons titans seahawks panthers panthers six so far i think we probably have two more to go yeah we're waiting on patriots patriots it would have happened right and one of eagles slash cowboys depending on this weekend's results could come open actually yeah yeah i think it's funny that the panthers are

interviewing our oc right now yeah brian johnson the most generic name of all time yeah that's been uh that was the singer of acd. He was an NCAA cover athlete. Brian Johnson? Yes. I assume it might be the same guy. Maybe it's not. Is he a black quarterback played at Utah? Or quarterback played at Utah?

He's black. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Today is the day I finally speak my mind about that no good fat bastard. Oh, shit, Brandon. You know who I'm talking about? Oh, no, Brandon. I had who I'm talking about. Oh, no, Brandon. I had no idea. Who's he talking about? Huh.

A lot going on. That no good fat bastard. Stephen A. Smith's going to talk about you. What the fuck? Shit. I was looking for my justice. I knew that joke was recyclable because... Pete Carroll, no good fat bastard. Pete Carroll, Stephen A. Smith. I knew that joke was recyclable.

Pete Carroll. Stephen A. Smith. Shit's going crazy right now. Shit's going crazy on it, little bro. What's next? What, Brandon? Nothing. You're doing tricks on it, little bro.

You're running things back? I always run things back. You need to run the new i spice lyric oh that was the new ice you thought you was the shit bitch you ain't even the fart that's no way i like that a lot tj has said that lyric 200 times today he showed me as soon as i walked it was the first thing he said to me when i walked in song goes hard it's the best birthday gift t TJ could have ever gotten. An Iced Spice song. An Iced Spice lyric. And I was about to start saying she fell off. You were just about to do it?

I was like a week away. Wow. She proved me wrong. Good for her. The hood about to go crazy with that one. Good for her. All right. You ain't even the fuck.

You think you're the shit bitch. Why'd you say fart like British? You ain't even the fuck. You ain't even the fuck. Did you put accents on the name? You ain't even the fuck did you put accents on the name even the fat yeah that's a good one i like that yeah and it's being demonstrated today by everyone's horrendous accents i can't if i was sitting in the car i could talk in a british accent but when talking to people like you guys i couldn't i can't do it there was a video last year for you guys in the pickleball out in arizona and my only job was

speaking a british accent and i i failed really i had to change it to dignified southern there was a video last year for you guys in the pickleball out in arizona and my only job was to speak in a british accent and i i failed really i had to change it to dignified southern dignified well i'd say yeah like foghorn leg yeah i had to be then i'll tell you yeah so i i couldn't do british on camera i can only do british when i'm watching soccer and i like commentate the games in like martin tyler voice yeah martin martin tyler andy gray here oh yeah hey ready for a spectacular day on the pitch yes that's beautiful paul pogba this is where we miss wrong the most when we need an accent accents yeah and if we need an accent. Accents. And if we need to do anything clever. He's a great interior decorator.

Oh, he would have been great freestyling the sad monologue yesterday. He's going to be here on Monday, but probably not for the yak. He's going to be here for Monday night for Eagles bucks. That's going to be a fun stream. You guys got to beat Stephen Shea. Mook, throw me that ball. Because I want it all. How – have you reached out to Riggs today?

Yeah. I mean, that was awesome. That was incredible. It was great. I'm happy to see Riggs, like, live his dream. That's how I was. Tiger is to Riggs as Riggs is to me. Yeah.

Someday you'll get it. Maybe one day you'll – Oh, yeah. Riggs um get on his knees for you that that uh dan rapaport tweet was weird odd uh-huh that's all you can say about that i mean i don't really know what else the man the internet gets to everybody he could have just not said anything yeah it made me feel uncomfortable reading that tweet uh internet gets to everybody this is a oh oh he's also weird best decision we've ever made leaving me out of this video i would have completely changed the vibe it's truly perfection eight years they've been building

toward this moment i i get the intention yeah we've so he agreed to sit out of it he could have just been like watch this video it's incredible yeah look at this yeah what was his weird what was his follow-up it this was a weird treat definitely a weird capital w now hand up that's on me i'm a bit of a weird guy sometimes that being said the video is perfectly absolutely crushing actually so he owns it no yeah but i think the follow-up was weirder. He should do another one. Yeah. Just checking in one more time.

Here's the thing. It's getting weirder. I doubled down on the weirdness. Yeah, if he was the only way to get out of this, he needs like 10 tweets. Just being like, all right, circling back one more time to this. Tweets two through seven were very weird. Eight and nine got a little bit better yeah and here we are at 10 i should have quit after nine number 10 made it weird again uncomfortable tweet i'm

sure he was getting a lot of tweets towards him where are you in this where are you in this why aren't you in this this this hey listen man i'm being sympathetic this year what i thought you were being feared i'm going both you were being feared. I'm going both. You can't do both. I'm going to be so sympathetic, people are afraid of me. Oh, I will be. Mm-hmm. If you show sympathy to me, I'm going to be like, what are you doing?

I'm sorry you feel that way, my man. What the fuck is your problem? That's a weird thing to do. Yeah. I'm going to be zen. What about empathy? Empathy rocks, because you can be like, listen, I've never had to deal with the shit you're dealing with, but I'm sure it be zen. What about empathy? Empathy rocks because you can be like, listen, I've never had to deal with the shit you're dealing with,

but I'm sure it sucks. Yeah. He's like, my life is awesome. Yeah. That's that passive-aggressive, hope he gets help. Yeah, the help you need. Empathy kind of rules. I'm glad you said that because sympathy, I know exactly what it means. Empathy, I've always been a little gray on what it means.

You feel for people even though you haven't had people. Yeah, you can't understand exactly what they're going through. I had sympathy for Jerry. But I hate the fact that he's going through it. And I've been through the same thing. But if I flipped it and was like, Jerry, listen, everyone loves me all the time. I don't know what you're talking about, but I feel bad for you.

Yeah, that's a dickhead thing. Yeah, empathy is brutal. Empathy is I'm trying my hardest to understand. I don't. But that's okay. But I'm trying my hardest to understand i don't yeah but that's okay but i'm hearing you your feelings are heard still valid right empathy for me for trying to figure out your empathy right yeah and in turn yeah throw it back on you then me not being able to relate to your problem makes me feel bad yeah this is very difficult all right so i'm gonna be more empathetic this year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be empathetic towards your empathy. Yeah, that works too.

So let's practice. Like, Mook, you're short on rent. And vent to Big Cat. Dude, it's been a rough month. Like, a lot of meatballs. I'm not sure what to do. Yeah, no, listen. I hear you because I am a millionaire.

No, that was perfect. Ended there. Yeah, empathy rocks. You just get to flex on someone but the problems they're having empathy is flexing yeah it's an ultimate flex like look listen man i don't know what i would do if i were you for one second if i had to guess i could i i could probably buy and that burden million meatballs right now that burden you have is like something i can't even fathom nick nick i'm getting really sick of my studio apartment it's just like getting like super small like i don't how small is it it's like 300 square feet yeah so i i have i can't really sympathize but i actually know i can sympathize with this my my gym in my house

is like 350 some of your rooms are almost as small so yeah that was a bad example just because some of his rooms are that small I feel very

very boxed in when I'm in my gym in my house and I'm empathetic towards that I'm sorry that you're going through that because I know

what it feels like to be boxed in yeah listen man you don't understand like you have one bed right yeah okay you just clean those sheets yeah i have like nine beds in my house and you have to pay somebody to clean fucking brutal you know how much money it costs to pay somebody to clean those it's a lot of laundry so many beds to worry about yeah more money more problems more money more problems

really think about it that way, your life is great. Yeah, honestly, I would... Listen, if I could... You're not doing that bad. If I could, Mook, I would trade spots with you. I can't. Yeah. But if I could, I would.

In a perfect world. I feel better, yeah. In a perfect world, I'd give back all my money. We should do a bad advice show. Yes. I like that. Just a dickhead advice show? But the only person I can think of with problems is Mook.

No, we all got them. Yeah, everybody calls in with a problem. We just say, Mook, go ahead. You want to take this one? Okay, we'll hand this one over to Mook. Yeah, I've been there. I'm actually on the up and up. I got a mattress pad.

Nice. Eat it. Having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Because it's so comfy. Because you're depressed? Yeah. It has nothing to do with the mattress pad. You're having trouble getting out of your bed

because it's surrounded by walls and couch and no floor. You're just questioning your existence as a human being. Every day. Yeah. Every day. I'm going to be on my empathy kick this year. That's good. You're going to help a lot of people.

Stephen Chay definitely is an empathy guy without even realizing it. Yeah. You think he'd learn by now. Well said. Well said. I do feel bad for people. Yeah, you can't sympathize with people. You're a robot.

That was so weird. Yeah're you're a robot that was so weird yeah that you're that was a robot response human delivery i'm supposed to feel bad for this isn't programmed in me me feel bad i just don't really think about it if it makes me sad right you're an empathy that's i wish i could compartmentalize that's the most profound sentence i've ever i've ever heard i've seen Stephen Chay sad like twice. It just doesn't happen. You can't get down. And how long did it last?

Not long. One like 10 minutes. The other was the Rams game. That was like maybe an hour. Oh, yeah, that sucked. I think Chay, out of anybody I've ever met, has the least odds of suicide. That's the nicest thing I think I've ever shown. Yeah, I'll never do that.

That's true. Yeah, I'll never do that. You'll never kill yourself. That's something I'm simply not interested in. I pass. Respectfully, I'm going to pass. It's not for me.

I know you need to kill yourself, but I can't. I don't think anybody's on the cusp, but I think going to pass on. It's not for me. I know you are named to kill yourself, but I can't. I don't think anybody's on the cusp, but I think you're the least suicide in the office. By far. I love you, man. Yeah, Steven would be like, listen, I support you in your quest to kill yourself, but I'm not going to join. I'm never calling Steven if I have a mental breakdown. No. I would never do it.

The worst solutions. The worst solutions. Have you tried not thinking about it? Yeah. Have you tried looking at the NFL draft? Tell you to call Brad Johnson. Yeah, even his data. Like, I know he gets upset when he loses, but he thinks that he's going to get hot right now. Yep.

Yeah. I do get down with my picks, but then, you know new new slate of games on tonight i have a pick earlier like next play up yep he's definitely looking for a way in his mind right now to figure out how to be vp of football ops again so he came up with that acronym so he's coming up with maybe another acronym or something's churning up there right right, Jay? We always got things in the works. Yep. You ain't even a father. Titus. Brandon, before we spin the wheel,

can I see how fast you can go around the court in a wheelchair? Dude, that wheelchair is fun. Give us a little taste of wheelchair basketball. I don't think I'd be... I'll try it, but I... Why don't we just do time trials? Everyone's got to go once around. I've never used a wheelchair.

I've never used a wheelchair. Now, is this problematic? So fun. Is it problematic? I don't think so. Everybody has to stub their toe on the way out. How do we get the wheelchair? How do we get the wheelchair?

Yeah. I don't know. We cured somebody. I think... Oh, it was... No, it was Jerry when he dressed up like Stu's dad Yeah Jesus was here

Is this problematic Keep in mind we just did a whole segment on empathy And then it's just That chair is a lot of people's prison And then we're just going to be going around This is great I did you say it was so fun take it for a spin before the show

yeah this is I would lean towards no Dan no don't do it but I'm also I've been wheelchair bound before I'm sorry? yeah freshman year of high school I went out for the wrestling team and I broke my ankle

and I like fucked up the nerves in my ankle so bad that I couldn't bear any weight or do crutches. I was, like, too, like, fat and unathletic to do crutches, so they put me in a wheelchair for, like, a month. How sad was that tryout when you were just screaming in pain on a wrestling mat? Terrible. Yeah. That was, I got wheeled out.

Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. They put me on a mat and uh dragged me out to the to the lobby i should get a scooter again wait they put you on another wrestling mat and just dragged and and like four people everyone took a corner and then just like placed me in the lobby for my mom dragging something so sad how long after you were pulled off of the original mat did they start back up with everything? I don't think anything changed. It never really stopped.

Nothing stopped around here. Yep. I kind of want to see someone. We could do wheelchair. I don't know. Yeah, let's just do one speed trial. Yeah, why not? Right?

It's one speed trial. It's a wheelchair. It's a chair with wheels. Yes. Spin the wheel and see who has to go. Okay, fine. It doesn't have to have a negative connotation. Spin the wheel and see who has to go.

You're not allowed to smile while doing it. Yes. If you want to smile, you should be able to. That's when it gets problematic. So you got to go outside the red lines. Okay. And you end right back here. So you're doing the volleyball court. Yes. Okay. And you end right back here. So you're doing the volleyball court.

Yes. Okay. Can you go fast? Yeah, you can move. But turning is going to be tough. I'll tell you who's got wheelchair skills. TJ. Yeah, I had a wheelchair in the senior year of college.

Just in our apartment. It just showed up there one day. Oh. I could probably do a wheelie on a wheelchair for like an hour. So your old neighbor died and you just did the chair? Yeah, TJ. Wait, we don't even need to do the race. TJ, go show show.

He was doing it for a while before the show. He was just chilling. Okay, yeah. Saying, you can't even fart. You ain't even gonna fart. I need to get a scooter again. That rocked when I did it. You're going to be the best old man in a scooter again that rocked you're gonna be the best old man in a scooter

at a casino of all time it's my destiny look how god damn skinny he is I know it was a lot of hard work not for us he's already doing tricks on it oh wow he's just staring at us

is that hard? there he goes is that hard you can't no smiling no smiling no smiling don't even think of the funniest freaking joke dude don't you dare learn i had to fall a couple times to learn how to do it you say you had to fall a couple times learn how to do it brandon you do. I can't do that. Yeah do it You could do it we'd have to put Brandon in a helmet and then Brandon let's very probably teach Brandon how to do it You gonna this is this is good he's gonna get a boo-boo all right so when he gets in the wheelchair We gotta take a picture and be like Brandon thinks it's funny. He's in a wheelchair when he doesn't need one We'll say if you look at oh no oh no Brandon. He's gonna fall back

Concussion I Didn't see that coming at all That one's you know would be funny. He hurt his back enough to I didn't see that coming at all. That one's a shocker. You know what would be funny? If he hurt his back enough to wear it. Stuart, how we doing? Stu. Look great, Stu. Look great.

All right, we can spin our reel. Wrap it up the act. You want to say hi real quick? Hi, Stu. Hello, brother. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Well, I saw you last week.

We doing Happy New Year still? Yeah, 10 days in. I kind of like it, though. Yeah, I like it. I kind of like doing it like end of February. It's Happy New Year. My tree's still up. Yeah.

What do you got for us, Stu? Anything? Wait, you got to talk in the mic. That chair. Let's see. What a visual. I look like the midget I am. Still hungover from last night.

I hit Spider's pen 13 times, and I hit minces pens 7 times can I say that it was too much I fell asleep literally talking to someone at dinner and I felt myself falling asleep and all of a sudden I woke up right before people took pictures of me

like I heard like you know like when you fall asleep and then you hear in the background yeah yeah the giggling everyone went to take a picture but I woke up Like I heard, like, you know, like when you fall asleep and then you hear in the background, Stooges fell asleep. Yeah, yeah, the giggling. Everyone went to take a picture, but I woke up. But what a meal. Proseccos. Nice.

And we ate like kings. And there was a nice crew there, you know, and then we were awarded Trey and Quigs and Spider for all they do for Arsenal Sports Advisors. Love it. So they were very grateful. And let me tell you something. Fuck it, Ash. Ashley is so fucking funny.

Yeah? I mean, she's a legit hysterical person. We got her rolling. She held the table for at least 20 minutes. Love that. Like hysterical. Nothing better. And so it was a lot of fun.

It was a lot of fun. By the way, that was actually good for Brandon because he was able to use the fall as an excuse to go eat. Yep. That was a lot of fun. By the way, that was actually good for Brandon because he was able to use the fall as an excuse to go eat. Yep. That was a classic Brandon trick. Yeah, he fell kind of slowly. Yeah, he just does it and then he's like, all right.

This was on purpose. Yeah. Now I'll just go eat. Can you imagine if Brandon was actually wheelchair bound, how much of a bitch he would be? Oh, he'd be such an asshole. He would be the biggest dickhead. I'd empathize.

I would too, man. I would empathize, be the biggest dickhead. I'd empathize. I would, too, man. I would empathize, yeah. I would, too. I'd start wearing, like, tap dancing shoes. Just do some tap dancing. It must be tough to be in the market. Yeah. What were you saying?

The comedy event that everyone's having in Chicago, you're obviously participating. You're participating. It's on my birthday. Oh! You want to come up and talk? And it's on PFT's birthday. Yes. Yeah, we forgot about that. The day after my birthday. Oh, you want to come up and talk? And it's on PFT's birthday. Yes.

The day after my birthday. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. Sure. I mean, if that's what we're going to do for my birthday, it can't get any better. Yeah, you've got to be there. So, all right.

Tickets are almost sold out for that, by the way. Oh, wow. Do I need tickets or no? No. Okay, perfect. No. Yeah. But anyone else that wants to go, tickets are almost sold out. Will you be giving any um picks today yeah i have to okay good i'm committed

you got you last year you said you wanted to kill me yeah well last year i last year i didn't lose a game uh i didn't lose a week and it was like a couple hundred thousand off tickets well it was like a couple hundred thousand in business. Now it's much different. So now, yes. I respect the show. I have to give on the show. I'll work around the show. Okay, love it. Because I think I'm probably going to have my NBA game of the year,

college basketball game of the year, and two wildcard playoff games of the year. NFC and AFC. That should be enough stuff for me to say. You would have been proud of me last night. Georgetown. Easy winner. Wow. Did you have Seton Hall? No. Oh. I don't know.

But I was like, they stink, but they're home. Seton Hall's won two big games. Two very big games. Yeah, covered. Almost won outright. And Georgetown can never cover. They stink. I chased Patrick Ewing for almost four years when he was there. What do you mean? Betting him every night. Oh. And coaching him.

I mean literally chasing him. Yeah. No. No, no, no. I've hugged him. That's a hilarious visual. Yeah. I have hugged him. He has sweated on me. Because 91 through 95, I sat right behind the bench. And he would throw his water in the garbage can that I would throw my french fries. Wow.

Y'all shared a garbage can. Absolutely. And Pat Riley, I think I've shared this a million times, but Pat Riley in the huddle, he'd call a timeout and he literally would stare into space while everybody's heads were down with a clipboard. And then, like, the whistle would blow. It'd be like... And then he would draw the play and throw it on the floor.

It was the most surreal thing I've ever seen in my life. Every time he did it. So I would pick up the play and put it in my pocket. So I have, like, 300 plays that he wrote. But it's so weird. But he didn't write it on like a clipboard? No, it was a basketball. It was blue, two hoops.

But he would wait until the whistle, and then the last 10 seconds, he would scribble it out, scribble it out, scribble it out, throw it on the floor, and there we would go. Interesting. I bet Rovell would buy that. Oh, yeah.

I would buy that. That's pretty cool. He'd probably wait until like Patrick. Yeah, anytime I post any memorabilia, he immediately, you know, DMs me, hey, would you want to sell it? I'm like, no, I don't want it. Oh, damn. That's crazy. All right, TJ, you want to spin our wheel?

Did you get lunch, Stu? No, I didn't. Lunch is out there. Oh, okay. I saw the rice and the chicken. Thank you so, so much. I think that was the lunch. Yeah, I can't eat right is out there. Oh, okay. I saw the rice and the chicken. Thank you so, so much. I think that was the lunch. Yeah, I can't eat right now.

I'll fall asleep. I have to be sharp. Yeah, you got to be sharp. You got to be sharp. Got to be sharp. It's wild card. All right. Great yak, everyone.

Thank you, Stu. Love you so much. Love everyone. Love you. Thanks for being here. We'll see everyone tomorrow and then hibachi on Friday. Yes. Please subscribe.

Like and subscribe, please. See you tomorrow. I'm going to go do more wheelchair tricks. Bye.