The Yak - The Fellas Are in Love with Cheah's Lips | The Yak 10-26-22

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello! Hello! You! This ass is going to get nuts. Yak-yak-yak! It's the nuts episode. Hello. You. Bass is going to get nuts. Aki-yaki-yak. It's the nuts episode.

All nuts all day. By the way, we're going, the flight to Penn State, this is now planning on the yak, is at 545, so we'll just go from here. Oh, is it 7th? Yeah, we're changing that. You said we watch World Series and go to dinner. I didn't say World Series, but I did want to go to dinner. Right, so we'll go to dinner.

We're leaving at 545. So we're going to get drunk here on Henny Friday. Oh, God. And then we'll get in an Uber and we'll go to the flight. This sounds awful. Kate promised me she'd be tanked. I'm so excited because I'm having a baby. Pat's watching the baby.

Baby? You're having a baby? Oh, God, no. No, no. But he's watching the baby. Kyle's baby and your baby will be friends, God, no. No, no. But he's watching the baby. Your baby will be friends. I'm having a reckless weekend again, a freebie weekend. So I'm looking forward to Friday.

Was he eating mushrooms at a Washington Wizards game last night? I guess. I don't know. It's hard to describe. It was an Instagram story. At first, I was like, that's a weird move. And then I was just like, nah, dude's rock. Yeah.

That's fucking sick. Dude's rock. Very sweaty. Eating mushrooms at a basketball nah, dude's rock. Yeah. That's fucking... Dude's rock. Very sweaty. Eating mushrooms at a basketball game, probably not fun, but for a Wizards game, that is fun. Yeah, they turned into Wizards actually for him.

That's low-key awesome. I was jealous. And he's courtside. He had feet on the wood. He is. What? He doesn't know if he had his feet on the wood. His legs were straight out. Can you do that? That's how babies sit. Do they?

They got happiness. Their legs up straight. Babies are so flexible. They have such good core strength. Who do you think could go the longest with their legs straight out like that of all of us? Not me. Should we see? We'll find out.

Let's go. Ready? Wait, wait, wait. In the air or on the ground? Everybody relax for a second. Air. In the air? I was definitely going to win. Three. This is my story. Ready? Wait, wait, wait. Air or on the ground? Everybody relax for a second. Air. In the air?

I was definitely going to win. Three. Women have different joints than we do. I was the only one here that works out. I have. I can do crazy. Straight out. And Zod just said that's his whole. We are appropriating his life.

Story of my life. All right. Ready? Straight out. No knees bent? No, they can bend. Micro-bent. Micro-b they can bend. Micro-bend. Micro-bend at most.

Micro-bend at most. Here we go. Three, two, one. Shit is awesome. I'm so, like, unflexible, this hurts me. Where? In your hips? My thighs.

This already sucks. Whoever has the longest legs, obviously. Whoa, this actually is kind of trippy to watch. That's actually really trippy. Invisible Ottomans. Holy fuck, that's hilarious. I'll put your lower backs to be ruined.

Not to put pressure on you, but you have to win this. You do. He's chilling right now. No, I don't think this is a feat of strength. I feel weak. It's a balance, right? It's flexibility. I feel like it's strength of strength. I feel weak. It's more of a flexibility.

I feel like it's strength of your, what are these? It's the quads. Sass, you have very long legs. I know, right? I'm going to push myself to the leg. One of the leggiest bitches in the office. Yeah, my God. Nice stems.

This is really weird to look at. It looks awesome to look at. Brandon, you look cool. Should we talk nuts? Yeah, let's start talking about something to keep our minds. Oh, Steven Chay, he came in with this prep sheet of saying,, let's start talking about something to keep our minds. Oh, Stephen Chay. He came in with his prep sheet of saying what's the best nut and then listed some nuts. But am I crazy for thinking that he's done this like a fucking thousand times?

We've had this exact debate. We've debated about whether he's done it a lot. Yeah, Brandon wants to quit. Brandon wants to quit. I said pistachios are the best. Brandon said peanuts. Cramp? All peanuts.

Quads are starting to burn. I don't like this. Why? Brandon, you're the athlete of this show. You are. It's definitely not core. It's not nearly as much core as I expected it to be. It's all quads.

It's in here for me. Yeah, it's quads. Really, it's all quads for me. It's in where, Brandon? I haven't even activated my core. That's my reserve energy. You're using your reserve energy? Well, no I haven't even activated my core. That's my reserve energy. You're using your reserve energy? Well, no.

My reserve energy is my core. I'm doing quads right now, and I will be activating my core when it is needed. You should have said, I don't know. You should have moved it to your core. Can I go like this? No, it's not easier. Can I do this? Well, actually.

It's actually easy. It's burning. That right leg's going down for you, though. We're pushing it down. I just don't want to be last. I don't want Brandon to beat me, but I'm really tired. Yeah. I can't come in last.

Got you. Second to last. As soon as somebody goes down, four or five people are going down? Yes. Kyle has so much power. Chase not having to do this? You're struggling in your voice. Kyle, my bad for blowing up your spot this morning.

That was fucked. What was the spot? I was driving on the street, and I saw him, and I just rolled down my window. I said, is that Kyle Bauer? And there were two honeys right there. Two girls. And they looked at him like, what the fuck?

Pervacious? It was like an El Salvadorian mother and her young daughter. How do you always know the ethnicity of everybody you look at? No, I don't. So Ukrainian, Yugoslavian? Cooler that way. If you said Mexican, it would be racist. I keep playing guess the nationality on TikTok, and I'm pretty bad.

Are you bad? Why? I can nail some obscure ones based on i'm gonna tweet out that our invisible ottomans just came in we're selling them in the store with the emperor's new clothes this is going on a lot longer than i expect it yeah all kind of beasts i remember like we used to get kids used to get tortured with six oh this looks too easy for you they used to make us do six inches. Oh, this looks too easy for you. They used to make us do six inches. And like Fratch was always the fattest coach,

and he would like, the boys would be like moaning on their hands under their butts, like trying to cheat. I did the hands under the butts help. We're going to just quit. Kind of help for like two seconds. Just tap out. You just quit. You quit, Sass.

I really want to quit. Yeah, I'm cramping real bad. Why are you doing this? You're rich. It helps if you move Just tap out. You just quit. You quit, sass. I really want to quit. Yeah, I'm cramping real bad. Why are you doing this? You're rich. It helps if you move. Like tap or move. You're two. No, I'm not.

I do have a 2022 version of your car, though. Imagine listening to me. But you aren't rich because you sent me a list of your expenses. You're struggling, actually. It's bad. This is the worst. This fucking dog cost $3,500. $3,500? $3,500?

$3,500 for that dog. You could have just replaced it like Meet the Parents. You could have just painted it another dog that looks like it. He is home. He's fine. Is he fine? No limp or anything? He's got a little limp. Do you think he knows what happened? His tail's still wagging? He sucks so bad. He doesn't go outside. Someone quit. You quit.

Mentally. You're getting real close. Very close. Your feet are like three inches off the ground. Well, the ground is coming up to him. Yeah, that is true. That ain't fair. Rowan's very close to the ground.

Anybody shaking? No. I've been shaking. Okay, I got some shake to me. I've been shaking since we started. Oh, Brandon's definitely shaking. So am I. Now he's thinking about it.

My right leg is vibrating. What? Wow, this is incredible how we can push ourselves if we all just... Incredible amounts of pride. Brandon, no one's going to be pissed at you. No, because I know people expect me to be the one to quit. It's like I've never done the Oktoberfest

where you hold out the mug. To point them. I finally done. You never done the Oktoberfest where you hold out the mug. To point them. I finally done. You're done? Up is down. What's happening? I think my feet are starting to fall asleep, though. All right.

A little tootsie. Oh, then you won't be able to feel it. It's great. Three, two, one. Oh, no, you won't do it. That's not fair. Or wait. That was perfectly landed.

Wow. It fluttered to a stop right there. Oh, cool. By our paperweights, we have only a few left. Heavy. What are you doing? Last time. I can still move my legs.

I can't. Right. Now it's going to the core. Yeah, now this show's just been hijacked. Over my head. Kyle's shaking. Ben shakes. Kyle's shaking.

Oh, my God. Is this something that's not even that hard to do? It's not hard. All of us can do this for this long. It's definitely not hard to do. But are we in the top percentage of in shape in this office? Yes. 100%.

Oddly enough. That's how we assembled this show. We're all fit as hell. Let's quit. Come on, Brandon. I'll buy you Chick-fil-A. Ooh. Brandon, you're low, man.

Might as well. There we go, baby boy. This is fucking sweet. Yeah, this is sick. It's a good show. So, oh, this sucks so bad. What are we doing? What are those pecans?

I like pecans. I can't think about nuts right now. They have a little bit of a softness to them, What are we doing? What are those pecans? I like pecans. I love pecans. I can't think about nuts right now. They have a little bit of a softness to them. Where pecan pie is obviously... It's a top tier pie. It's the best nut because they've... They've desertified it.

Yeah, they desertify it. It's the only nut that you really can desertify. You walk past one of the carts on the street. Motherfucking pralines. Pralines. Pralines. Oh, what is a praline? I think it's... Brandon, you're basically on the street. Motherfucking pralines. Pralines. What is a praline? I think it's...

Brandon, you're basically on the ground. Just give it one tap and then it's sugar. We'll all stop. Is it like a praline's a cookie? We'll only lose by a second. We literally will all stop. We can just get on with the show. It's a bad shape too.

Isn't there like a hostess that has pecans in it? Oh, a cake? Oh, pecan twirlies. Oh, you put butter on top and the microwaves are so good. Just do it, Brandon. Just be done with it. What's your favorite nut?

This is not fair that I have this box because I actually am kind of high up. I have the longest legs and the biggest feet. I'm carrying the biggest burden here. You should have the strongest hip flexors then. Why? Because you're the biggest. Oh, he's all top body.

I don't know. Yeah, you're a lot of two. Sass might have longer legs than you. Yeah. Yeah, Sass, longest dude in the office. Worst show we've ever done, but we have to do it. Yeah. We're in now.

The fucking, the chat must be going ape shit right now. They must be fucking loving this. It's our pleasure to do this for you guys. Oh, I think you're struggling. I was shaking hard. I'm lucky that my legs weigh nothing. Ah! Yeah, the rickety.

Ah! Brandon, what a critter. Oh, and it's a blowout. What an idiot. Oh, man, he sucks. It feels so good. How's it? Touch. Oh, that's nice. Such a blowout. What an idiot. Oh, man, he sucks. It feels so good. Does it? Oh, that's nice.

Such a blowout. Brandon, can I get that water back? No. Brandon, come on. So I was at Duane Reade this morning, and they had these cool almonds. They have cayenne pepper, ghost pepper, and Carolina Reaper. Those are too hot for all of us. Those are hot ass almonds.

I know. I've never seen them before. It kind of seems like one of those things that they would have at a smoke shop. Yeah. One of those foreign goodies. I thought you didn't like spice. Is that not you? That is him.

No, it's me. Brandon sounds so relaxed. I wonder how hot Carolina Reaper is. There's a scale, and cayenne pepper is... Let's all have a nut. Brandon, can you pass out the nuts? We're trying to fall asleep. One of each.

We all get one of each. So we can start on cayenne, then go to ghost, and then go to Carolina Reaper. Let's start on cayenne. That's cayenne. Pass them out. Why would you start with sass?

I also could have probably just... No, because you have to throw it, and then we'll kind of be exerting ourselves in different ways. I think Big Cat's asleep. He fell asleep. He managed to fall asleep. He's gone pigeon-toed. There's a homeless dude on my block.

Looks like Tommy Pickles. Oh, man, look at my shaking. Feeling low or walking like this. Why are y'all doing this? I'm shaking. Kyle, take one and pass. You were just doing it. Gaslighting.

Cayenne pepper might actually be pretty hot. Oh, you're going in already. Give us the reaper. No, we want to do the scale. Yeah. There's three levels. There was actually one that was even less hot than that, but I was like, nah. Waste of money.

Pussy shit, yeah. Pussy shit. Okay. This is nice. A little bite, a little kick. Okay. You didn't have one? No, I just put it in. Cayenne is palatable. Cayenne's not hot

at all. Cayenne's just what you put in chili, right? It's like, kind of mild. It's a little hot. It's the secret ingredient in a lot of national hot chicken. Ooh, that's hot. Ooh, I like that. What is? What? A little after stain. A little after? It's kind of hot.

It's like Isla Fisher. Yeah, I think I had a lot like Amy Adams. I'm done. Oh, big hat's out. That was stupid. It feels so good. That was stupid.

But now it feels good. You've just created a new high for yourself. I've got to say, it's a good nut. Pass around that next bag of nuts. This is ghost pepper. Oh, it does have a slow burn.

Ghost pepper might be hot. Give me that. I just, I want on the record that I completely smashed Brandon. No, you did. Thank you. I don't think you did. Yeah, I did. I feel like I won.

Tyler, can you go the whole show? Um. Yeah, it's not getting progressively harder. Yeah, it is. Every second. It's nice when we talk, though. Yeah, keeping's not getting progressively harder. Yeah, it is. Every second. It's nice when we talk, though. I feel like the talking really distracts. Yeah, keeping your mind busy.

Ghost pepper's not... I think ghost pepper might have been less... It's less than the cayenne. ...on a weaker. There's no ghost. All right, this is the top dog, California Reaper. It's a weak-ass ghost. California.

That tasted like plain almond. Dwayne Almond. Ghost pepper. Ask that around. Nothing crazy. It was very good. Anything that they just sell OTC can't be that hot. They sell hot chip as OTC.

Hot chip as OTC? Where? Those weren't hot. But also almonds, you've got to think, you're probably eating them in clumps. A clump of ghost pepper must have been hotter than just one. Okay, yeah, it's not that bad. You had California? Yeah, it's lingering on the tongue, but not bad.

Is that the Reaper? Brandon, are you doing this? Yeah. I'm not a pussy. You are. How annoyed do you think hospitals get? Did you see all the people going to the hospital because they ate that chip? That blue one?

Yeah. Do you think they're like, God damn it, we're a little busy. This is... Self-inflicted. I like the taste of that last one. It doesn't taste good.

Ready? I like the last one. That was really underwhelming. That last one was a little hot. Cayenne was the best. If you throw down a whole bag of those, it's probably pretty bad.

A whole bag of those, yeah. A one. Oh, that last one was hot. Wasabi and soy almonds. But I mean, it doesn't even come, it's not even in the same world as the hot chip

or the hot gummy bear. Hey, knock down a bag of those. I feel like my legs are still up. Really? Oh, my ghost legs? My sea legs, yeah.

Immediate relief. Alright, so what are we Walking is making it infinite. I forgot that my legs were up for a minute. Are we ranking these nuts once and for all? Get it off the fucking prep sheet.

He'll come back with it, with his little goldfish memory. Is every nut a legume? I think just peanuts. Okay. Maybe called legumes. Yeah. He's right, you know. What are you looking at?

Peanuts are good. Wait. He's right, you know. What are you looking at? Peanuts are good. Wait, all business Pete said if he had two hours and 12 Bud Lights, he would break Tico on stream? He said he's the only Philly fan in the office who can handle Tico. So then we got to do it. Can I say something? I did not know. Is Pete a Philly scumbag?

I didn't know that. Do you remember the video where they won the football? This was before Brandon. He didn't see the video. Oh, yeah. He watched the Super Bowl in Minnesota. It was him and Dana at the Super Bowl house, and it was after everything was complete for the week.

So a bunch of people went to the game, and Pete and Dana were watching the game, and Pete put on his Nick Foles jersey and just inner scumbag came out. Can you play the clip? He was like screaming. Ah! In his face. Yeah.

Is that an eagle call? Yeah, here it is. There's a total. Yeah, that'll beat Tico. Yeah. She can't do that back. She can't parrot that. What is that noise?

Is that real? Yeah. See, the thing is that. She can't parrot that. What is that noise? Is that real? Yeah. See, the thing is that no one can beat Tico. The bigger of a fan you are, the easier it is for Tico to beat them. She doesn't care. Tico doesn't actually give a fuck. She wins if the Philly wins. Yeah.

The Phillies win. She doesn't care. It's so much easier for her to get under their skin. Rowan, what's up with Jalen Hurts? What's up with Jalen Hurts? Oh, yeah. He's wearing an Astros hat today? He is from Houston.

Right, but Nick Sirianni can't like that. Nick Sirianni quotes Rocky in every speech. I feel like you're a... Wow. That's your quarterback? You wear a cowboy shirt all the time. That doesn't affect your fandom.

I might have just changed. You should cash out your bet then. If you don't believe in them anymore, you should cash out. Cowboy shirt all the time. That kind of... That doesn't affect your fandom. No, but... I might have just changed... Deep down, that bothers you. I think the Bells might have just gone to number one in my... You should cash out your bet then. If you don't believe in them anymore, you should cash out. I don't... I do believe in them. I'm saying deep down, that's got to bother you. A little bit.

We all believe in them. Of course it bothers you. A little bit, that bothers you. If you don't believe, you should cash out. Listen, I'm not saying you can't room for the Astros. No, were you just resting legs? No. I saw your legs go up a good bit.

I like to put them up a little bit from time to time. Just re-engage a different part of my quad. It bothers me for sure. Yeah, it does. It has to. It bothered me. That's kind of an outrageous move. Yeah, you shouldn't do it.

Right. He doesn't have to pretend to like the Phillies, but he should just not talk about the Astros. What? How big of a pussy can you be to not let someone root for their team? I mean, it's... If you're the quarterback of the Eagles, we're pussies. We're all a bunch of pussies.

We're insecure as hell. There's definitely some dudes that are like, not my quarterback anymore. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. But people, since we're on the top of the mountain, that means that everyone can see you from all the way around the mountain. You know what I mean? If you're about halfway up the mountain,

only the people on your side of the mountain can see you. So you're going to have a lot more slings and arrows. There's going to be way more slings and arrows from the top of the mountain. That doesn't sound like a big mountain if you could sling an arrow up it. Slings and arrows. So it's going to be slings like slingshots and arrows.

So there's going to be a lot of slingshots being shot on this mountain. So he's got to expect... What goes further, a slingshot or an arrow? Slingshot, right? It depends on the size of it. An arrow and a slingshot. Arrow. Yeah, right? Which will...

Okay, then. By a lot. Bait ended. Well, I mean, slingshots are... It depends on how big the slingshot is because a catapult is just a slingshot, right? Oh.

No, but like a water balloon launcher is a slingshot, though. That's a slingshot. It depends on the size. That could go farther than some arrows. I'm changing my answer. Slingshot. Well, you were so adamant.

I assumed that's what you were changing it to. Remember that clip of the person getting slingshotted with a watermelon in their face? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was like the Amazing Race, wasn't it? Was that a news person? I don't know. Did I see that?

I don't know if I've seen that. The guy that built that slingshot built the slingshots for Barstool vs. America. Shit. No way. Put your feet down. No. I want to. America. Shit. No way. Put y'all's feet down. No. I want to. This is insane.

We're on 20 minutes now? Nick, what the fuck are you trying to prove? Yeah, I don't know, man. Hey, don't let him get in your head. You know what you're trying to prove. What are you trying to prove? Decathleticism in the office. Yeah, who's Beth at?

Look at Sass's feet. They're just bouncing. It's like wiggling his feet. I mean, you're up against Kate right now. You think that proves anything? It's just Kate. She went to boot camp. Yeah, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Women go to boot camp or is it stiletto camp? Stiletto camp. What was the hardest part about boot camp? I would like to know for real. Oh, wait, here's the video. That fucker up bad. It had to video. Oh! That fucked her up bad. It had to have. Oh, no.

Slingshot mutt. Oh, my God. You all right? Oh, shit. So awesome. We have an update on her? When they knew that happened on that show, that must have been the most excited they've ever been.

She should be dead. She should be dead. Her nose should be sideways. That's crazy. With enough speed, it just breaks instantly. Yeah, it's like how getting thrown through a table hurts less than just landing on the table. Allegedly.

I've never experienced that. I long to, though. I could set that up for you. Yeah, let's get a table for you. No, I better not. Get you thrown through any table you want. No, I better not. You wrestle with your family at home?

Yeah. You ever practice wrestling moves? Uh-huh. What's your best one that you can do at home? Oh, just a good elbow drop drop and then you lay on the kids so they can't get up. Oh, yeah. Do they laugh?

That always does feel like you're the strongest person alive. Turning a kid upside down or something? Just like holding, yeah, like just laying on them, but not all your weight. Yeah, just enough

where they can't get up and you let them know. Because all your weight would be bad. Uh, yeah. You act like you don't know what you're doing? Oh, I, you know.

That's things you can do with kids. Who would be a great dad? Joey Cam bad. Yeah. You don't know what you're doing? That's things you can do with kids. Who would be a great dad? Joey Comasta. Yeah. Okay. He should have kids. Yeah, he should. The way that he could wrestle, he'd be a great wrestler.

What was the hardest part about boot camp? Wow. The mentors? Probably. The drill instructors aren't too, I mean, they do scream at you the entire time. But I, so I hate bugs and South Paris Island is like in a swamp covered in bugs. And so after you ate chow every night, they'd have us line up and then you had to put, you had to like cover in a line with the woman next to you, put your arm out and your arm

was like exposed and they'd be like, all right, now it's, you got to eat. Now it's time for the bugs to eat. And you had to sit and watch the sand fleas like just cover your arm and suck the blood out of you and I hate bugs and that probably was like. That doesn't feel like that's necessary.

No there's a lot of silly. They'd be like alright I need a dozen sugar cookies right now. You'd have to run out and there was like sand pits outside each barracks where they'd haze you and so you'd have sunscreen on your face and then you'd put your face in the sand and then you were a dozen little sugar cookies because your face was... That's a fetish. Yeah, that was.

But it wasn't like... It's not as hard as Pete. Just imagining a good drill sergeant. Pete! Pete! Into the mic. You have to do a stream with Tico now. Why? You said that you could break her. I would.

Yeah, so do it. Prove it. So you can't. I'm ordering you to. So you're saying that I'll have Dave order you to. Done. So he can't do it. He knows I will.

They should do it just them two in like a dark room. Yeah. Like an interrogation room. So Pete kind of said this in friendly conversation yesterday, and I was right there. And I told him, I was like, Pete, you know I have to tweet this, right? And he was like, don't do it. And I was like, I'm going to do it. And he was like, all right, but make sure you get the quote right.

So I put it out, and then I saw him in the kitchen a couple minutes later. And he was like, did you tweet it? And I was like, yeah. So he looked at it, and I was like, did I get it right? He's like, yeah, you got it exactly right. So all of that was correctly represented. He volunteered he volunteered definitely didn't have to tweet it I mean so this that's what this place is it was unfair that he said like more so than all the other Philly fans yeah he was like I like he could have just said I could handle Tico like he didn't have to make

it comparatively negative towards me Kate Smitty Smitty, Jordy, Billy Mays. Sass. No, I don't feel like a pussy at all. Okay. Because me and you did bow out pretty early. Oh, no. We're so happy. We're so happy with my decision.

I'm ready for a mutual. I feel a lot better. Yeah. There's a stream Friday night, right? Are you going to that round? We're just talking. Is there a stream? That's what Tico said there was. Well, then I'm in the fucking building. Yeah. What's your thought? You're you going to that round? We're just talking. That's what Tico said there was.

Well, then I'm in the fucking building. You're not going to Penn State? No, brother. You lied to me. I know. I often do. I don't think I've ever told you the truth. But you had me excited. We were going to hang out at Penn State. You lied to me. We didn't have any place to go get steaks.

Where were we going to get steaks? There's no steaks in State College? No steaks. Where are we going to get steaks? There's no steaks in state college? No steaks in college. So, no, I'm not going to be there. And I also, I don't know what to do if there's a game seven and then I have a gambling competition on the same day. I got to be in Philly for the game seven in case there's a man on the street shit. It's your replacement for your gambling competition.

Yeah. Mincy. There you go. I mean, he's going to be there. I'm going to go ahead and tap out. Pussy. Wow. Pussy.

I did not think he'd be the next one. Oh, I knew he would. He's a pussy. If you go to Philly. I mean, you're a big guy. I go to Houston. Yeah. You want to, Kyle?

Yeah. Probably have to camp out there. I mean, it would be games like five, six, seven. Depending on how the series goes. Yeah. Probably have to camp out there. I mean, it would be games like 5, 6, 7. Depending on how the series goes. Yeah, that would be great. That would be hilarious to have you guys go there. Yeah, you don't have to. For the World Series, you don't have to camp out unless it's game 7.

What do you mean? They don't have to go to Houston unless it's an elimination game. Right, so it could be 5, 6, or 7. It could be if there's a chance. It could be game four. I've never been to Houston. Me neither. A lot of service roads.

Town. Hell yeah. A lot of service roads. The least walkable city. Really? Yeah. Or one of them. Top ten.

Watch the TikTok about it. It's all highway. Dallas is super unwalkable too. I've never been to Dallas. Atlanta. Atlanta. I drive around a to Dallas. Atlanta. Atlanta. Drive around a convertible in

Atlanta. Because of his untimely death. One guy fucked it up. The fucking Kennedys dude. I'm ready to put

my feet down. Put them down. Go for it. There's some Philly video about Jared Karabas and the guy compared him to the Kennedys. He was like, you Boston fans are like the Kennedys.

You fucking think you're better than everybody. He told Karabas that he wasn't welcome in Philly for the game. Oh, that Jalen Hurts pick is from 2020. Oh, he's changed his ways. That's the slings and the fucking arrows, dude. Why did I tell you about the slings and the arrows? That's a Trojan horse. You did bring that up, yeah.

The top of the fucking mountain. That's huge. Everybody's looking at you. I don't know that. He's not a dummy. I don't know that Philly's at the top of the mountain right now. Are you serious? The Eagles are the most undefeated team.

Of all the teams, is there anyone more undefeated? If the NFL season's a mountain, everybody's still climbing. They're just ahead of everybody right now. They're not at the top. Every week is a new mountain. The Flyers are doing well. I don't think so. I think it's one big mountain

and you climb to the end and somebody's going to be at the top. It's a range. Definitely a range. The Eagles are not at the top of the mountain. Right now they are. Yes, they are. They're the most undefeated team.

The Sixers tanking, though? That's what Hank told me. Yeah, yes. No, they don't have their draft pick this year. They can't tank. Oh, Hank told me they were, yes. No, they don't have their draft pick this year. They can't tank. Oh, Hank told me they were tanking. Tell him to worry about his coach's penis. He should worry about that.

Tell him to worry about his coach's penis and all the places that it's going to. Yeah. Maybe he should worry about his coach's penis a little bit more. Fucking A-man. Fucking A-man. Facts. Facts. Tell him to worry about his coach's penis. Fucking A-man. Fucking A-man. Max. Max. His coach's penis fucking A-man.

What a dumbass. Francis, what do you got for us, brother? Dude, Francis was so worried that his comments about Eddie are like, he's having PTSD thinking that he's going to get in trouble for his comments about Eddie. I literally went up. I went up. What's up? What did he say?

I went up to Francis. I go, Roan, watch this. And I just went up to Francis. I was like, kind of early to just be asking to be a DP show host after Eddie's body's not even cold. And it was like a total joke. Like, I literally said, like, Rowan, watch this. Francis then went to, like, basically talk to us for 20 minutes about how he didn't mean anything by it. And I was like, dude, I was joking.

I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this conversation. He was, like, super anxious. He was very nervous. It was a total joke. That always works with him. Yeah. For intelligent as he is, he has no radar for sarcasm.

What is that? Nah, I don't want to do this conversation right now. Because it's following me around the office. It ain't autism. But there's got to be a name for it, though. Sarcasm blindness? It might be autism. That's why we need more names for that kind of shit.

Das is out. Yeah. Immediately feels better, doesn't it? It's crazy. Not really, to be honest. It doesn't feel that kind of shit. Das is out. Yeah. Immediately feels better, doesn't it? It's crazy. Not really, to be honest. It doesn't feel that much better. I might go out. Because now my legs are, now my quads are just sore.

I'm getting a pain in my lumbar spine. Yeah, my tummy was starting to hurt. Oh, no. Maybe it's the ghost peppers. Can you pass around those nuts again? Oh, yeah. Pass around all the nuts. Pass the nuts this back.

Cayenne? I preferred cayenne. What was y'all's favorite nut? Cayenne. None of them were great. First nut was pretty good. I'm going down. First nut's always the best.

Oh, boy, I don't want to. Oh. That's a violation. He said it was going down. What's happening? It's a technical. I'm out, so you can't give me a foul. The Reaper's the hottest.

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They're perfect for, like, Saturday when you don't want to look like a slob in sweatpants you look stylish and comfortable oh the best roback.com promo code yak so can you push me down so i can pretend to be pissed are we playing basketball yeah what the fuck the fuck, dude? Sorry, man. I had to do it. Yeah. And are we, are people, is there like a competition for two listeners? I think we're giving away $50,000 for half court shots at the game. Okay. We heard people will be playing with us.

Participate in that? Yeah. They're sending us highlight videos, something along those lines. Oh, I like that. Last time I heard. Picking 10 people. Oh. us highlight videos, something along those lines. Oh, I like that. Last time I heard. Picking 10 people. Oh. Send highlight videos.

Yak basketball halftime of the first game, and then maybe doing some sort of knockout with fans in the second game. Oh, I love it. I love it. It's going to be an awesome event. Waiting to knock out a fan. What time is that at? Five and seven.

Five and seven? Nice, nice, nice. Wow, you got any spots that night? Yeah, I got to move some stuff around. I said, hey, you must think I'm crazy if you think I'm missing yak basketball. I would rather die. Yeah. Also, if you're a veteran, a military veteran out there listening,

and you want to go to the game, they're doing, because it's Veterans Day night is the game, and they said Barstool is going to give some tickets out for that. Yes. Veterans. So let me know. DM me on my Instagram. Also my wedding anniversary. Whoa. How many years? 16.

Well, you'll skip that. I think I'm going to bring the wife and the family, though. What? It'll be fun. Are we staying in Philly or are we just taking the train back? It's up to you, I think. I'm going to bring the wife and the family, though. What? That'd be fun. Yeah. I'm bringing Marty. Are we staying in Philly, or are we just taking the train back? It's up to you, I think. I'm driving back. I'm driving back. I'm going to stay.

Are you going to stay? I'm going to stay. That'd be nice. I'm staying. I'm going to stay with you. I'm going to stay. You're staying? We'll go to a hotel room?

Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. I would definitely do that. Philly's nice. Stay at the Four Seasons, boys. Fuck it. Let's stay at the Four Seasons. Damn. Yeah, I will. But we have to hit that half court shot

yeah the whole weekend is depending on that Kate, Ron, and Kyle what are you doing? I can't tell if I'm sweating more because of the cayenne no it's the cayenne you didn't have the cayenne I feel weirder that I put my legs down

I feel worse. No offense to Roan, but I think it's between Kyle and I. Wow. It is. No offense. You've been kicking your feet the whole time. Because I'm so bored. I'm just giving extra.

I can kick mine like I'm on a swing the entire time. Extra workout to myself. I can feel my bones going to be between KB and I. I think I can make it the whole show. So you're rubbing the paperweight on your leg? Yes. I am too. It feels great.

It's a good roller? Yeah. I am too. It feels great. It's a good roller. Yeah. Oh. She's comfortable. That was interesting. That was the exact fire I needed to be lit under me. My inner quad is, ooh, that feels good.

I'm the type of guy that internalizes everything. Yeah. All right, team, let's scoot a little guy that internalizes everything. Yeah. All right, team. Let's scoot a little bit down in our chairs. Everyone. We'll make it a little more of a core thing. I see. Okay.

Down. I'm not intimidated. I don't care. Why don't we scoot down? Okay. I don't want to do that. I think we should all scoot down. I'm not doing that.

Okay, fine. I don't care, Kyle. What's that noise? I scooted down. It doesn't bother that. Okay, fine. I don't care, Kyle. What's that noise? I scooted down. It doesn't bother me. I flexed my gullet. I have to burp right back in. Hell yeah. You didn't scoot down.

Yeah, I did. You scooted up, if anything. Yeah. Can I bring something up? Yeah. I miss playing Family Feud. Yeah. Whoa.

They probably switched it. Probably switched it up. Maybe did some updates. Play one. I'd play one. Good call right there. Did you scoot back up? I scooted back up.

I just watched that. Bro, you're high as hell. Yeah, I am. It's the third time smoking today. KB's playing KB at this point. I can't look at him. You know what might be harder? What?

To get the lowest score possible on Family Feud. We could get all zeros. Without no zero rounds. So you have to guess the actual answer. If you say a zero, you're eliminated. That's the least common thing. That would be harder. Try to get all sixes and fives and fours.

Golf Family Feud. Yeah. But you can't. No zeros. Okay, we'll go one at a time. And if you and fours. Golf family feud. Yeah. But you can't, no zeros. Okay, we'll go one at a time, and if you get a zero, you're out. Yeah. All right. I like that. I love it.

But sometimes I just get a zero. Also, three strikes with zeros. All right, fire it up. Let's just see it. I just want to see it again. Let's fuck around. Let's fuck around and find out. That's what we do best.

Yeah, we do. Whenever we fuck around and find out. You can't get do best. Yeah, we do. Whenever we fuck around and find out. I can't get this to feel good. Really? You can't get zero. All right, Nick, do you want to play first? Hell no, it's Sass. It's always Sass first.

It's Sass. Try to get... It was always Sass first. ...jokes at his expense or some shit? No, I just thought he's closest to the TV. Oh, the music's... Why not? Oh, 3S Erickson.

What the fuck? Oh, fuck. He's got a digit in his name. Name something you talk to that can't talk back. Oh, fuck. Go low. Dude, he can't talk back. Wow.

Wait, this is broken, though, because you're just going to let him take all the time? Yeah. What? Oh, shit. Oh, but if you get the first one, right? Yeah, but he's... I bet. Oh, yeah. Wait this is broken though Because you Don't let him take all the time Yeah Well Yeah Oh shit Oh but if you get the first one Yeah but he Oh yeah No it's all the time

It's strategy What if we each have to say One thing right now As it goes around Let's do pet rock Ooh pet rock Number one answer 98 people said

What the fuck Yes You do Yes I would have said car. I was going to say car, too. Car. I was going to say radio.

I was going to say TV. Bro, Kyle's abs are out. Six. KB's stomach's out. I don't want to distract from that. Brandon and I are head to head now because you're out. Yeah, that sucks. Brandon and I both have six in the first round.

KB's also out. Why does Brandon get six? KB put his legs down. We both said car. Do radio. Radio. No. TV. It didn said four. Do radio. Radio. No. TV.

It didn't give us a strike. Computer. Mirror. R was a great answer. Movie. I should have said plants, trees. You should have said plants or tree sass. I don't think we take turns.

I think we just need to shout out. How does pet rock possibly be the highest one? Word pet. Still a pet. Yeah, I guess that's true. It's bad when you have ants in your pants, but it would be worse if you had what bug in your pants? Micro penis. Everybody's just saying. Mosquito.

Crab. Oh, mosquito's gonna be high. Going low. Have you ever heard the song Skeeter on my Peter? Oh! Wow! I'm good at this shit. All right. Beetle. I'm on a 10-point route right now.

I'd rather have ants in my pants than a mosquito. I've won. Can you try crabs? It's my game now. That's not a bug. Bug? Oh, what? Crabs are a bug.

Now you don't have the lowest score. Yeah, I have the lowest score. Too good of an answer. I'm going to try to get the perfect route. Brandon thought that crabs was actual little tiny crabs. Those are shellfish. That's a crustacean. Not a bug.

I don't think the- Crawfish you got to put on your penis. I don't think the crotch crabs would be on Family Feud. A bee probably is number one, right? Yeah, or a wasp. A spider, right? Scorpion. Scorpion. Scorpion.

Oh, yeah. Are Scorpions not? Tick. Tick, Tick. Tick should be one. Yeah, B should definitely be one. We're going for the perfect game here. You're a beast at this. I'm really good at this.

I have 10 points. All right. Last round. Tell me something people crack. Oh, no. Oh, no. I know. I know what one is.

The last answer. What is it? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Oh, no. I was going to say.

Yeah. That's a good one. Yep. That's brilliant. Bad one. What were you going to say. Yeah. That's a good one. Yep, that's brilliant. Bad one. What were you going to say? Yeah. Fingers? Knuckles.

It might be number one. Oh, joke is number one. Whoa. What? Oh, shit. Oh, I guess it would be more specific. Ack. That's going to be high, though.

Ack's going to be way too high. Oh, no. You don't. Oh. Was code one? Oh, I guess it'd be more specific. ACK. That's going to be high, though. ACK's going to be way too high. Oh, no. You don't. Oh. Was Code one? Oh, Code? What's happening? Joke is one.

Joke is one. What the hell else could there possibly be? What? What? Oh, Safe. Something's wrong right now. Okay. How is that not number one?

Yeah, Safe. Safe number one? How's he still guessing even though we got cracks? Yeah, I told you. Good job. Eggs.

Nuts. It's the nut show too. It's the nut show. It is the nut show. Damn it. It's because our mind was on almonds. You don't crack almonds.

I hardly eat nuts you gotta crack. KB's feet are down by the way. Oh, so Kate won. No. Roan's still are down, by the way. Oh, so Kate won. No. Rowan's still going. I could have done that infinity.

Nice try, buddy. Infinite. Okay. Rowan, your Pilates classes are paying off. Is that what you're taking? He looks like he's straining a little bit. 40 minutes. It's really from the Carolina Reaper. I keep on eating these peppers. Can you pass me the cayennes?

Kate hasn't had any peppers. She's crossing over the top of her legs. She's had some peppers. Why do I have a... I have a fasoli missed FaceTime. Oh, FaceTime. Bring the yak. We should not be comfortable enough to be doing this.

I'm on the yak. What do you want? I know. Oh! What's up, dude? It's Riggs. Whoa! What's up, my man?

Turn off the cameras. I'm glad you called to check in You haven't texted me I'm better now He's nervous Nervous Yes I don't even remember Nuts

We're We're playing Family Feud I wish you were here You'd be fucking good at it We are family But we've never feud Have him play the next round. Wait, Riggs, will you play the next round of Family Feud or are you

golfing or something? Oh, you don't. He's in a golf cart. That's classic. Do you want to say hi to any of the other guys or you just go with me? Thanks, man. Fuck yeah. See you, dude. Sorry, guys. That was Riggs. Sorry if that disrupted. Who you, dude. Sorry, guys. That was Riggs.

Sorry if that disrupted. Who was that? That doesn't matter. Sorry if it disrupted the flow of the show. What a day. Kate's not even thinking about her legs. She's just over here. Thinking about what?

She's not even thinking about your legs. Girls have different hips, right? I know. Girls are built different. It's not fair. And Rone has feminine hips. Smaller brains, too. I have a small brain, too. So more streamlined.

We don't need all that space. Empty space. I'm doing this with a penis. And balls. Your penis almost probably acts as like a rudder or a counterweight, right? It's like a dorsal fin. Yeah. These fucking nuts are making me have so much saliva.

The cayenne pepper ones are not good. Did you guys stop eating the nuts? I never had one. Wow, Kate, it must be pretty easy to do if you didn't have any nuts. I certainly did. These are good. I had plenty of nuts. Let's get nuts.

All right, Ron and Kate, a handful of nuts right now. All right, yeah. A handful. Okay, Nick. It won't be a handful. Between your two fingers. What do you want to say, Steven? Do you want to say something?

You got big nuts, Che. I used to have three, but I had to get surgery. What? Sports hernia. No. What? Sports hernia. That's not a third nut. I thought it was for a long

time. Wait, what do you mean you thought it was for a long time? How long did you have a nut? A couple years. You just assumed you grew a nut? Yeah, I didn't really want to get a nut. Were you doing something and you had a specific moment that it popped out? No.

It's kind of weird. No shit. Yeah. You lived with a sports hernia for three years thinking it was the third testicle. And you just accepted it? Correct. How old were you? Twenties.

Mid-twenties. Weren't you worried that was like cancer? A little bit. I eventually got it checked out for that. His brain doesn't work like yours. Oh, this is probably something good. Three years? He was like, sweet, I have three nuts.

Oh, there's another brain growing on my brain. Yeah, I've been busting fat loads lately. You just walked around with three nuts. I thought so, yeah. Well, what did they do, surgery? So I did get it checked out for cancer. And then they were like, oh, it's just a spore hernia. It's not actually a third testicle.

Wait, did it just grow off your balls? No. Like between them? No, it was in my scrotum. How? Come show us. It's gone. Did they have to cut open your nut?

Did they have to cut open your nut sack? No, so they go in through the belly button so I had to get knocked out oh gross wait how did that work

what I hate shit like this no did you ever take a picture of it no but there's a picture

of me in the hospital I want to see the picture of you in the hospital or the picture of you in the hospital I'll settle for I'm not happy about it I'm pretty sure picture of me in the hospital. I want to see the picture of you in three nuts. Or the picture of you in the hospital. I'll settle for it. I'm not happy about it.

I'm pretty sure, or maybe it was after I started a part. I just wanted Steven to show us a picture of his nuts and not realize he was showing us his nuts. No, it's just of me in a hospital gown. Wait, three years? Probably more than that. What did you think it was? It wasn't harmful.

I didn't feel anything, really. I don't understand. You had what I would assume looked like a tumor on your balls. Yeah. And that didn't... No, it wasn't like... No alarms. I mean, it wasn't crazy.

Also, you thought it was a third nut, though. Yeah. So it had to be sizable as hell. The way you introduced this topic, it still does. If I had any size bump on that, I would sprint to the hospital. Was it noticeable enough that you had to give someone warning? Like, hey, heads up, there's an extra down there. There's only four.

Before you get there. It was kind of a running joke. We had John Kruk on PMT today. He told the story about his nut cancer. They cut his nut off. before he knew he had cancer. Wait, what? He had a hematoma. He thought it was a hematoma, and he's like, I want to keep playing,

so just cut it off. Cut it off. And then the next day they're like, we got to make sure the cancer didn't spread. And he's like, what are you talking about? He's like, well, the doctor you had is like a young guy and a really big Phillies fan. He didn't really know how to tell you you had cancer. Holy shit. Cut it off before he knew he had cancer.

Uncrooked cut it off before he had cancer. Wow. So afterwards, he was like, what do you mean I have cancer? He's like, well, we cut it off. Wow. Kind of crazy. Imagine being that pussy doctor. I know. That's why Steve Jobs, the, we cut it off. Wow. Kind of crazy. Imagine being that pussy doctor. I know.

That's why Steve Jobs, the guy just loved iPhones and didn't have the heart to tell him that he had cancer. Pussy doctor. It sounded more like he was a nut doctor. Seth, stop it. Damn, dude. That was a good one. Too easy. It's too easy.

You can't do anything around this guy. Don't be throwing me laps like that. Steven, you should host a Dave Portnoy show. He should. Holy shit, he should. That would be, Dave would kill you. A rundown would be. Yeah, so I found out from the rundown the other day,

Dave despises me now, which I guess was the only... Just found that out? I feel like Dave and I have a pretty good relationship. How? We actually text all the time now. He's at least content hated you for years. Yeah, but I mean... Should we tell Francis he's a finalist for the

show? Yeah. Francis! Two waters, that absolute bastard. Just got word you're a finalist to host a DP show. You or Che? You and Che. Come on.

Yeah. That's really exciting. Oh. Shit, he got me. He got me. He got me good. He got me good. No, he got me.

I don't know if he knows that I'm here. Ask him why he should get it over me. Why should you get it over Steven if you guys were finalists? Oh, yeah. Steven kind of sucks. Steven just asked why I should get it over me. He's in Tampa for the Bucs game tomorrow night. Wait, are you?

I don't actually. This isn't true, right? No, no, but if it were. If it were, you versus Steven. Steven went down to Tampa to go to the Bucs game. So he's not here. We need to. Steven's hiding for this answer. Oh, my God. Steven's hiding. He game. So he's not here. We need to. Steven's hiding for this answer.

Oh, my God. Steven's hiding. He was pretending that he wasn't here. Oh, well, my bad. My bad. I fucked that up. I fucked that up. God damn it.

I fucked that up. I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. We're trying to get Francis to bash Steven. God damn it. You're right. My bad. I thought I had something.

A zinger line. I messed it up. Sorry. That was crazy. Wasn't that bad. That was really bad. This is definitely mad at me for saying that joke. I was used to seeing Stephen Che up there when I saw him hide us.

Oh, sorry. Hey, you really ruined that one. Yeah, big cat goes, Stephen went down to the box. Yeah. Oh, I thought you said he was going down there. Then you're like, Stephen, why are you hiding? I guess I wasn't paying close enough attention. Stephen, I see you back he was going down there. Then you were like, Stephen, why are you hiding? I guess I wasn't paying close enough attention. Stephen, I see you back there.

What are you doing? I don't know. Your guy's legs are still on. Brandon on Christmas is probably like, why are you pretending to be Santa? Why are you dressing the red suit for? Why are you coming down the chimney and leaving cookie crumbs for? No, honey, I ate those cookies. I spilled oats on the ground intentionally.

All right, one time I just fucked up. My bad. Shit. Didn't mean to. All right. Thank you, Sass. Why is he so happy about a tooth fairy? I'll put the dollar under the pillow.

It took three hours to hot them eggs. You can say anything in Brandon's voice. Yeah, it works. KB's right. This could go on for infinity. Yep. You could do that for infinity? There was no point of strain.

Yeah, it was the same difficulty throughout. It was annoying, so you couldn't do it forever because you'd get annoyed. It's like just your threshold for annoyance is really what this measures. It doesn't measure strength. It's just like, can you handle something annoying? Yeah, no, it just started getting tedious. My threshold for annoyance

is the lowest it's ever been. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, I've been getting grumpy recently. Really? I've been a real curmudgeon. Here's what I do. I'm so impatient. Like, every time I'm waiting in line, I start steaming. I just don't get in line.

Like, how long people take in front of me and how long the subway takes. So I started timing. And it's always a ridiculously low number that I wait. Like, 30 seconds, 54 seconds. And that's kind of helped. I'm going to set my timer. Wait a while. It's helped me, like, get over that. Like, oh, wow. Like, that wasn't of helped. I'm going to set my timer. It's helped me get over that.

Like, oh, wow. That wasn't going to work. Let me tell you what I've been doing. I've been huffing and puffing. Oh. When somebody pulled out their phone at the top of the escalator, I was going down to Penn Station. Francis, Francis.

It stopped. Francis. Hey. He ignored you. Wow. He ignored you big time. Steven's going to try and get him. I thought Steven was hiding.

Maybe he's coming back. He's going to try and get him. I thought Steven was hiding. Maybe he's coming back. He's coming back. Oh, he's puffing and puffing, too. Oh, shit. Fix the hair. Are you mad at me about that joke? Are you mad at me about that joke? No, I can't get mad at you.

Okay, thank you. Oh, so he's actually mad at me. He's so mad at us to get mad at you. Very bad for me. I think he would be a great host of the DP show, but Stephen Shea, who just went to Tampa, he just had his flight go to Tampa. He's gone.

I can't hear him. We just wanted to hear you say why you're better than him. It would have been a winning formula for this show. No, I think Dave would like Stephen more. No. No. Oh, no. Definitely not. No, no think Dave would like Steven more. No. No. No. Oh, no.

Definitely not. No, no, no, no, no. Correct. Steven is annoying as a human. Probably would like him the least out of anybody. He's nodding. Steven's nodding as I say, oh, he's annoying as a human. He's like, that's me.

Yep. Yeah, I mean, Dave, I can get on Dave's bad side real quick. I don't think he would like that on a regular recurring basis. He said he could get on Dave's bad side real quick. I don't think he would like that on a regular recurring basis. He said he could get on Dave's bad side real quick. I think we would ask very different questions. I think we'd have very different styles. Totally. I'd ask very edgy questions that would pull back the curtain on the underworld barstool,

and then you'd get into sort of analytics and math. No, he would just be like, Dave, are we buddies? I should say that. Because that's what he likes. What do you mean by he? analytics and math. No, he would just be like, Dave, are we buddies? I should say that. Because that's what he likes. What do you mean by he? When I see Steve and I think math. So who would you, obviously you're the best candidate. Who would you rank as

the candidates behind you of the people who've thrown their hat in the ring? Alex, Jordan, Steve, Caroline. I like this camera angle. Yeah, it's cool. A little OTS. Prince is like... Feels like he should be singing angle. Yeah, it's cool. A little OTS. Yeah, it looks. Prince is like, oh. Feels like he should be singing tonight. Yeah, he's God.

You know who I think would be a good candidate that people aren't really talking about actually is Pat. Oh. Because Pat's not afraid to get in the dirt. He's not afraid, and he knows what's going, he knows the rumor mill here better than just about anybody. He has an album on his phone a photo album on his phone called

Employees Doing Cocaine. He has a photo album of his co-workers. Blackmail. Blackmail album. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. I think that would be good. You got too much going on.

Totally. You'd be great at this game. Totally. We're just keeping our legs. You'd be great at this game, keeping our legs suspended for the entire show. Yeah, that's hard. No, it's actually not that bad. Well, I've hit my word limit for the Yak. If I speak any longer, I get death threats.

So I'll let you guys go. Appreciate you having me. Thank you, Francis. Can you tell Julio we say what up? Oh, yeah. All right, cool. Yeah, I know. What's what up? Oh, yeah. All right, cool. Yeah, I know. What's his shirt?

It says Mexico on the bottom. His shirt. Is that a jersey? I thought so. It's a friend of his. He started some company. Oh, okay. It's nice of him to support the homies.

Tell him what up. Tell him we miss that fat ass. He'll know what it means. You might not. You guys are going to do this forever. I know. It's a competition of attrition right now. It is getting annoying.

I'll say I would like to bend my knees. I've been bending them a little, but it feels so good to bend your knees when they've been straight for so long. Oh! Roni's the winner. Roni's the winner. Look at her. She's resting her knee right now. Oh, my God. Ron's the winner. Wait, wait, wait. Roan is the winner. Look at her. She's resting her knee right now.

Oh, my God. Roan's the winner. Yeah, Roan won. You can see it for the boys. That was a mistake. That was a dumb mistake. Good shit. Victory lap.

Thanks, KB, Roan. I could have gone on forever. Put those things down, Roan. You won, Roan. You won't go down. Serve it. They're not going down. They're stuck.

Roan has yardsticks taped to the back of his head. Like Altuve. I'm like, no, no, no. Pull my pants off in celebration. Bastard. All right, do it. Come on. I want to see the relief.

It feels great to bend them. It does. It's actually making me nervous that you haven't put them down. Why? Your feet are going to be like purple. Put your fucking foot down. Put them down. No, dude. Help me, like purple. Put your fucking foot down, bro. Put him down. No, dude.

Help me, KB. Put his feet down. Put his feet down, KB. I'm not putting my shoes down. I got to at least get an hour in. You ever bicycle with your siblings on the couch when you were a kid where you put your feet to each other's feet and you see how fast you can go? Oh, yeah.

It's so fun. Yeah, you get super fast. It's nice for the hips, honestly. Yeah? It loosens up the hips. 16 years older than my sister. That would have been weird. I used to have my little sisters all the time.

I mean, of course, I was like 10. How was your sister so nice? And they were like six. Yeah. I'm nice. No. No. How is she so nice?

You're not nice. I don't know. She's a lower-level company employee trying to get by. I don't know. That's why she so nice? You're not nice. I don't know. She's a lower-level company employee trying to get by. I don't know. That's why she's nice. You're even mean to the people behind the scenes in your own flesh and blood. I know. A lower, what did you say?

She's giving her best shot. Brandon, as practice, has forgotten his sister's name because you're not supposed to know those people. She does the travel for us. She does good. Hey, girl. Hey, blonde girl. Should we spin the wheel? Because Nick and I have to go do the pro football show.

Oh. Nick is on the pro football show. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Very nice. What are you going to say, Nick? I'm dropping character. I'm being dead serious.

I have some fucking takes. Whoa. No way. We have one right now? You guys are probably used to the character I'm always in. Huh?

Dropped. I love that character. I see Nick's character, I click. Thanks, man. I don't know about this new unmasked you. Nicholas.

Nicholas, Nicholas. Wizard of Oz. There's Tico She's ready to fucking rip your heart out I'm gonna beat her ass We're getting acrylic nails Why does acrylic nails not come off the It's a perm They have to get longer every time

Let's hear it for the boys. We got all of our painting equipment in, so Friday. I'm excited. Very excited. I love that stuff. Is it just Hennessy? Yes. We can't have mezcal?

Oh, mezcal's fun. Mezcal on Henny Friday just doesn't make sense What about mixing it? Mezcal millions in muffalettas Mezcal MMM with a HHH Many Because no one got head last week And I worry it was the Hennyson's fault

Oh no no Brandon did I caught him You did? Brandon you did? He's a flexible ass dude He loves getting his dick sucked By him I caught him. You did? Brandon, you did? He's a flexible-ass dude. He loves getting his dick sucked. By him.

Do any of y'all have actual painting ability at all? Nope. No. Nick does. No, Nick does. Painting is a whole different medium. No, it's your artistic. Give me a pastel or maybe a... I'm partnering with you.

Can you do it at all? No. Good, me either. I'll make it even better. I thought you weren't even going to be here. I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here. They're making me be here. I made them.

Oh, okay. I don't want to be here. I'm going to try, though. I'm going to really try. Shell, strategy. Are you guys going to sketch on the page first and then try to paint within the lines? I'm going to make Kate hella stacked, like big fake titties that have the glare, so it'll sell for the most.

The glare? Like a balloon? Like that square glare? Yeah. Remember when you drew them in middle school? Remember? You do the thing. Do glare, like a balloon? Like that square glare? Yeah. Remember when you drew him in middle school? Remember he'd do the thing? Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Steven.

No. It was a titty drawing technique? Yeah, like the S, we had a titty drawing. Yours was titties. Can we put that picture of Steven up? We might get a strike on YouTube. Shit looked fucking... Steven, have you gotten...

I don't know how to say this That's gotten less Asian It was the glasses You've gotten less Asian you were probably on drugs to eat so much more How did you get? You're less Asian now What the fuck hair is different my glasses are different but everything else is every when you start at barstool you are a minority and then you just

slowly get you dude that is that is i think i have some uh that's not you some type of alcohol or whatever on my stomach to make that doesn't up a difference. That doesn't up the Asian at all. Sterileness. Well, it makes me. You're on a painkiller? That's so gross. It went through your belly button? I don't like that at all.

You must have been on a painkiller. You must have been on some kind of anesthesia. Show us the other picture. I don't understand the logistics of going through the belly button to get where they got. No, I don't understand that at all. That's where the nutty start from. Look at that. What a goofball.

Are those your lips? Is that your tongue? What if that was your last photo? Wait, are those your lips or your tongue? Both. The top's his tongue. You ever done that before? He's back.

DJ, rotate this sideways. Tech isn't there yet. We got to tell him a week beforehand if we want to make something into a pussy. Just kidding, Steven. Just kidding, my brother. Put your fucking feet down. Yeah, dude. It's 2 o'clock.

All right, I'm good to go. An hour. He started at 1.05. Oh, dude. It's 2 o'clock. All right, I'm good to go. An hour. He started at 1.05. Oh, wow. Almost an hour. You almost got a full hour, dude. So impressive. That's incredible.

Almost a full hour. That is not so impressive. Man, if you got an hour, I would have been. You know those contests where they're like, whoever touches this car the longest wins the car? Oh my god, yo. Oh, zoom in, zoom, zoom in. I wanna fuck this so bad.

Oh my god, those are the fattest pussy lips. Does his dimple make an asshole? Oh yeah, dude. Those are the fattest pussy lips I've ever seen. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

It's pretty hot, honestly. Oh, stop. Hot? Yeah. Almost looks like a prolapsed asshole. Yeah. I'd fuck the shit out of that. Steven, would you fuck back?

No. You thought about it though you did I had to think about that pretty hard what the question was would you let me fuck your mouth sideways no okay

that sounds like I fucked his mouth sideways you hey can we show this picture to? Joey? There's Mook. Zoom in just a little bit more.

You can kind of see his nose. Go down a little bit so you can see the butthole. Or can you just crop his nose out? Just pull up a picture of a pussy. Boys. Boys. That's nice nice that's good yeah

wow alright who can we get if you had a beard it would have been we got big T in here yeah he will immediately turn around and walk out

do a macrodose I'll go look for somebody alright go fetch someone we make this black and white I'm worried that it's still lips presenting we gonna get a strike on this we should be like yeah Can we make this black and white? I'm worried that it's still lips presenting. Are we going to get a strike on this? We should be like, yeah, who on the show do you think this is?

Okay, yeah, look around the room. We're going to show you a picture. You have to guess who this is on the show. I'm very worried about that, Nick, by the way. Yeah? The strike. Why? It looks like a pussy.

Whoops, pardon my French. Apology accepted. You absolute Frenchman. You French bastard. Huh. Hmm. God damn. Want me one more time?

Ooh, yeah. It's shocking. Joey. Joey. Hey, girl. We have a photo. We have a photo. We have a photo. It's one person in the room.

You have to guess who it is. I have a lot of bronzer on today. I am apologizing to the Latino community. No, you don't have to. You look tan. Okay. Looks natural. Do I look brown-facing?

No. It is starkly different from your arms, but I think it looks good, though. Okay, I'm ready to receive. Well, that's Kate. Yep. That's her pussy.

It'd be a lot messier than that. It's someone in the room or... I want to say... I think it's Kyle and some kind of apparatus. You think it's Kyle and like a fake pussy? What do you think you're looking at right now? I don't know what you're going to be doing. I was going to say Shay, but.

What would the apparatus? Shay doesn't have facial hair. Or maybe that's melasma. Zoom out. What apparatus? You mean like a suction cup kind of thing? Yeah. No, that nose.

It's Shay. It's Shay. Yep. Are you saying Shay? shay yep are you saying shay steven shay are you saying shay or chay shay how do you say it jay yeah shay i like a lot of people say shay so a lot of people say shay and it's almost gaslit me into saying shay i think you should keep saying shay it sounds nicer yeah well sashay away that's yes well i mean the the greatest joke steven's ever made that took us an entire weekend to figure out was him naming his son Seve.

Seve with a V, like sever? Yeah, but like he meant ceviche. Yeah. That's how we got. That was kind of our reaction. Literally like a full two days past and we're like, oh, shit, Stephen. I didn't know you get down like that. I was catch steak last week.

Oh, catch steak was phenomenal. It looked incredible. All right, me and Nick got to go. You guys keep going. Keep yakking. I know. I got to go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

All right, thank you everybody. We appreciate it. All right, appreciate you guys. We got shit. We have shit. All right. See you guys next day. See you guys tomorrow for the yak. Appreciate you guys. We got shit. We have shit. All right. See you guys next day. See you guys tomorrow for the yak.

Thank you. See you guys tomorrow. All right. Talk about catch steak. Catch steak was phenomenal. I have the VIP hostess's number. If you need a reservation, I can get one in a second. Just like that?

Just like that. Phenomenal food. The ambiance. If you're looking to impress someone, a business dinner or friends or a loved one, or maybe a hookup. What a beautiful place. This is the one in Meatpacking? Oh, yeah.

My friends are coming in town tomorrow. I would like to go. Oh, I'll get you a reservation. Do they put you in the hot section or the ugly section? Hot section. Don't worry about it. Are you sure? Yeah, we were with hot young

people. Hot young hopefuls. Co-eds, if you will. But yeah, they have a little bit of everything. So you have sushi, obviously in the seafood they do at catch, but they also have pastas and they have a really good steak. I had a Wagyu steak. Oh, wow. Did you get that trio where there's like the olive

steak or something like that? I didn't get that one. But they have one where can like cook on they like cook it on a rock in front of right in front of you yeah yeah it's a little chopsticks you've like a steak sommelier or some a guy that comes up to you i gotta say i was drinking the one thing that's who they get you i was i asked for a spicy margarita which i you know i can you can get any menu but they have they have their special margarita on there not just is like $55, right? Well, no. It was $29. Okay. But I was ordering doubles.

And I didn't know that. I thought a regular margarita would just be a regular margarita, but this is their classic one that has a Casse Dragones tequila, which is my favorite tequila anyway. Jesus. I was ordering doubles, and then everyone at the table was tasting my drink, and they're like, oh, that's good. So everyone said, another round. So we were drinking. Oh, God. How much was it? $60 cocktails. That's insane. Holy everyone said another round. So we were drinking. Oh, God. How much was it?

$60 cocktails. That's insane. Holy shit. All around. $60 cocktails? That's terrifying. Yeah. Did you guys split the bill or how did you guys? We all split the bill.

Yeah? Like six credit cards or one person put one down and you Venmoed? Because if you have a nice credit card, you get all the points. Yeah, if you have like a shiny one. I have a shiny one. Mine's still like the colors of the rainbow. Really? You're rich. No. I have a nice credit card, you get all the points. Yeah, if you have like a shiny one. I have a shiny one. Mine's still like the colors of the rainbow. Really? You're rich. No.

I have a yellow one. You go to Europe every weekend. I long to go to Europe. I'm trying to get back to Europe. You were just there. You came home for a day and then went back last summer. I know.

I'm trying to get back out to Europe. I'm trying to plan next summer already. Can I ask you guys a question? I got approached by a DM from someone in Turkey. A medical facility in Turkey that wants to do a procedure on me. Dude, so many people on my TikTok have been going to Turkey for their teeth, for their butts, for everything. They offered me.

Let me show you what they offered me. Tell me if this is shady or not. I think you got to do it. I think sight unseen, you got to take some free medical shit. Okay. It says, it's the hair center of Turkey. They want to give me a hair transplant. Oh, that's their thing. Yeah. Okay, it says, it's the hair center of Turkey. They want to give me a hair transplant. Oh, that's their thing, yeah.

We would like to offer you a package includes five-star hotel, VIP transportation, full procedure, including all necessary products, full tour of the space located in Istanbul

with the best restaurants, cafes, nightclubs, and everything else. So everything's going to be taken care of. Wait, they're just going to give you a, do you need a hair transplant?

I do. I mean, it's not completely balling, but I want to preserve what I have and kind of freshen it up. And they're just going to give it a – do you need a hair transplant? I do. I mean it's not completely balling, but I want to preserve what I have and kind of – And they're just going to give it to you? Yeah, plus the five-star hotel, the transportation. So the thing is if I just get the flight and the flight is legit, it's a win-win for me. I've got a flight there.

If it turns out to be a hack, I just hang out in Istanbul for two days and then come home. Sounds incredible. You know what I mean? If the procedure, if I get to the place and it's like some backwoods shed or something. Exactly. But if there's a five-star hotel involved, you can't fuck around

with a plane as long as it's going from JFK and it's a first-class ticket on a major airline. First class? I'm not flying regular. What is it that Turkey,

do they have tech that we don't have? Why are they, how can they do the hair transplants in America? Maybe they have more follicles out there.

Maybe they have like extra follicles that are just sitting around. Oh, really? The only thing is, I wonder if you have to shave your whole head when you get the procedure, because it looks like you do. Oh, boy. Would you shave your head? Yeah, I think so.

That's right. That's right. Wear hats. I think you should do it. I think you should go to Cappadocia while you're out there. Have you ever seen the pictures of Cappadocia? No. Is that a gentleman?

So pretty. It sounds like one, but it's like a cave town where everybody's riding hot air balloons. Shit. Big time influence. Yeah. What's the vibe in Istanbul right now? Is it a controlled country? Are gays safe there?

It's the Stephen Che of countries. Stephen Che of countries. Half Asian. Okay. But have you seen... Do they do the fake asses in Turkey, too? No, I think that's Miami. Why don't you just...

Instead of getting it for yourself, why don't you have one of your poor balding fans? Just give it to him. They probably want his notoriety. They want me to say, I go to Turkey for my hair transplant. They also do beard and eyebrow transplants. I'm thinking about getting me one.

The fuck would you put it? You don't need a beard transplant. There's patches you need, just like little holes. This is all smoke and mirrors. I have a full bead on today. You got that bead on? I spray painted my hair in. I have my brows on.

Who has a low-key fake ass that you wouldn't know? Casey Smith? No, not someone that's over. like a celebrity I know firsthand she doesn't have a fake ass I know too yeah how do you guys know I would assume I've clapped them cheeks Joey who's your suggestion to take over if you're not going to answer the fake ass question, who's your suggestion to take over for Eddie on Dave's show? Oh. Why, can I do it? I don't know. You can put yourself in the list,

but then there'd have to be like three other people. You know what happened? My father called me in a panic today. He's like, what's going on? I saw the news. Dave Porter has canceled all his podcasts. What the hell? What the hell? Did you get fired?

I said, not my podcast, his podcast. Yeah, exactly. So who else other than you? If you can't remember your name. I think Chicago. It has to be Chicago. It can be anyone. Anyone. Anyone. Off the top. I think Chicago has to be in Chicago. It can be anyone. Anyone.

Anyone. Off the top, I think Francis, KFC, Pat. Pat, Kirk Manahan maybe. Kirk. Kirk. What about John Rich? Maybe, but he might be too shy. Yeah.

John Rich is a little bit shy. So Eddie quit or Portnoy quit? I think that they just had an amicable separation. So now Portnoy's looking for a new co-host. I think he needs an asshole. Oh. But I feel like Eddie knows the history so well that it's tough to know anything more than Eddie does

about the history of Barstool. I think Pat. I think that's why Pat would be great. Current events. Yeah, someone who would throw someone under the bus. Yep. Know their facts. That would do that.

Pat knows the facts. Pat throws people under the bus. That seems like a heavy lift, that show. I know. Yeah. That's not something I'm looking to get into today. I like to come here and do the bare minimum. You had a commercial, though.

I have a commercial today. Yeah. Another one? Another one. I'm doing a Takis commercial today. I have to wear a skin tight uniform damn they're using you I do just for men as well

yeah the just for men one that's the one I keep that's what I used to dye my beard now I don't have to well I still use just for men but um cause they can't fix gray hairs in Turkey

oh really I don't understand how we don't have that tech yet yeah what the fuck you can fix anything why can't you take a pill that makes your hair either stop growing

which is great for affordable haircuts for guys you haven't your kids you don't have to get one hair your hair stop growing that's hilarious well for people that can't afford haircuts and homeless people i mean diddy gets his haircut every six hours sometimes it's three times a day or why your hair can change your hair to any color through a pill uh is billy using you for haircuts yeah yeah i saw him him meekly ask you today, like, hey, you think I could get that haircut sometime? Well, I'll start. I started with Chef Donnie because I just wanted to touch

him. Right. And now I can't say no anymore, so now I'm doing everyone's haircuts. You have like 10 different guys a month in here. And I'm I do Gia's hair. You're doing makeup and stuff. I feel like it's like when people have a doctor or a nurse friend, and they're like, I'm sorry to bugger you with this,

but can I ask you to fix it? Can you look at this for me? You're a full bead on my face. I think I can take that into consideration when I have my review, saying, well, I also have free hair services for all of your staff to make everyone look good to you. Tony Fleischman's going to whack you. You should say something.

Or you've got to learn how to say no to people. I feel bad. I know. That's the problem. Someone's like, you know, if I know I can help someone, why not do it? God bless me in more than one way. That's facts. One way.

That is an absolute fact. Well, dude, thank you for coming in here and saving the end of the show. Otherwise, everybody was going to leave. But, Joey, you kept us afloat. Thank you. Go to Roback.com right now. Use hash code TheYak for free stuff. Yes. Perfect. Thank you. Go to Roback.com right now. Use hash code TheYak. Free stuff.

Yes. Perfect. Thank you. And we'll see everybody tomorrow. Word. Word. Word. Happy hump day.