The Yak - The FIRST EVER Punishment Trade in Wheel History | The Yak 1-5-23

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I look like a fucking clown. What do you mean? What do you mean? When it just came on me. No, you don't. I look like a fucking clown. You look like a tennis instructor from the 90s.

I look like a fucking clown. You look like Andre Agassi's coach. What's up, everyone? It's the Yak. I think it looks good. Welcome in. Thank you. You're just saying that, though.

Is it flame retardant? No, I'll do it. Only one way to find out. Light him up, up, up. What's up, boys? What's up, boys? What's up, boys? No Kate? I heard that she exploded her anus after all that.

Oh. Blew out her ass. Was everyone cool with moving Fishbowl Friday to next Friday? Yes, that works better for me. Oh, I didn't have it in me to tell you I was cool with it. Okay, yeah. The reason for that is Will Compton will be here. We figured the cage race is getting a little full, so we'll have Will Compton be part of

Fishbowl Friday with us. So next Friday will be Fishbowl Friday. And we guarantee you'll see his penis. Oh, yeah. We're going to get hammered. Yeah. It's going to be fucking awesome. What is Fishbowl Friday again?

Just as a kind of reminder, every liquid's in a bowl and we just drink it all? It was on Kate's wheel. That's so bad. That's going to suck. It was just a huge aquarium full of whatever we make. We should all bring in one liquid for the bowl. Oh, I'm down for that. And so maybe you get something alcoholic or maybe you don't.

Yeah, so it's just sitting in the middle and we don't leave the show till it's a drink. It's a fishbowl. It's a huge aquarium. We're all right. Yeah. We're fucked. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Because like. We'll make Compton drink it. We'll make Compton drink it. But nobody. But like you have to mix the good like good things to drink and we're not going to do that, dude. We're going to mix something in that, like, curdles or something in that's chunky, probably, or something that's gross. In college, we made a big—we used to have one—we stole one of those big Gatorade things,

so we would just do that for every time we had people over. We would just throw a bunch of Everclear in there, and my buddies once put just a whole jar of peanut butter in it. It was the most disgusting thing. Everyone at the party was like, why? It's already the most disgusting thing. Yeah. That's acceptable. Fish Bowl Friday.

Slither down. They'll dump their hands in it and scoop it out. Yeah. I just want to have it enough. Enough needs to be in the fish bowl for us to get wasted. It'll be a nice little warm-up for the cake race. And it's a fine line. I don't want to be drunk.

I want to be fucking wasted. Yeah, and I want Compton wasted. He'll get wasted. Saying random shit. Is this going to be live, though? Yeah, it's going to be live. Oh, that's risky. That's a problem, yeah.

I didn't really think about that part. Whoops. Whatever, we won't. 30-second delay? Yeah, can won't. 30-second delay? Yeah, can we do a 30-second delay, TJ? Is it a PE class? I don't think so. I won't be drunk, though, so that's fine.

I'll make sure that we... Oh, but you... You just bleep us? I'll just, yeah, I'll kill the whole stream. I'll just, yeah, I'll kill the whole stream. I'll just do this. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah, that's perfect. All right, so we'll be set.

Fishbowl Friday. Next Friday. Do we have the fishbowl? Keep on an aquarium. How big is it? It's big. When does a fish tank become an aquarium? I think it's when it's cubed.

Yeah. I think a fishbowl is obviously a goldfish, but once it becomes... I just say a fish tank. When does a tank become an aquarium? I think it's an... Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, so it's tank. An aquarium is multiple tanks.

It implies tourists. Yeah. I think she said she got a three-gallon tank, which sounds big. Is that big? No. That sounds like three gallons. That's exactly how big that is. I think we're going to need another tank. which sounds big. Is that big? No. That sounds like three gallons. That's exactly how big that is.

I think we're going to need another tank. A bigger tank. How big is the Gatorade thing? Yeah, like 10 gallons? That's probably 10 gallons. Yeah, we're going to need a bigger tank. I think the Gatorade thing was for an entire party of people, right? Yeah.

No, it was just me and my friends. You guys all had your own Gatorade tank? How much are fish tanks nowadays? How much per gallon? Easy. Cheap. Ten bucks a gallon? Ten bucks a gallon, I bet.

Ten bucks a gallon, easy. And how are we going to fashion our straws? We need an engineer. She's got a bunch of shit planned, so I think we just let her. I think the straws need to be looped, right? If they're looped, it can't go backwards. Yeah. So it can sit on the ground.

Either way, we're going to have a great time. Yeah, she's got this. She's got this covered. Yeah, the boys. I think Taylor might be coming too. He'll be able to drink a lot. No, he won't. You don't think so?

No, he's a pussy. He is a pussy. You see how he hugged up Robert Griffin, Robert Griffith III? Yeah, Griffith III. After he found out that he was pregnant. That's such an alpha move to just, like, very subtly mess up someone's name. Yeah.

Like Jerry, for the first six months, just kept on calling Brandon Brendan. Yeah, it is. Drive him insane. Brendan Brandon's a tough one. Or like Aubrey Audrey. Yeah. Just enough where it's like you know their name, but you're not caring enough to get the details correct.

Beta move when you try to fake not knowing someone's name. That is, yes. Yes. I've had people call me Henry for long periods of time, and I just don't care enough to correct them. Do you think it's because you look like a Henry? No, it's because my name is Harry. Oh. You kind of look like a Henry, though.

What? You kind of look like a Henry. You do. That's one of my least favorite things when people try and do that. What does he look like? Oh, yeah. Okay. You look like a Steve.

Yeah. All right. My bad. Sorry, bro. You just did my least favorite thing Okay Did that give you the ick? Yeah

That's my least favorite thing What? When people say the ick Oh who says that? Say that out loud I've been hearing I've been hearing grown men with beards say like Did that give you the ick?

Like that's my ick That's a big girl thing Whoever that is grown men with beards say like, did that give you the ick? Like, that's my ick. That's a big girl thing. Whoever that is. I don't think I've ever heard it in the wild. Ick? Yeah, no, I may have. I've heard it a couple times.

I've heard the giving thing a lot. Gives me the ick. That's terrible. The willies? Or it's giving? Is that what you're referring to? No, it's giving. I like it's giving. I don't know what that, yeah.

It's here. Okay, we're going to do fishbowl Friday next Friday. Is that okay? Perfect. Yes, that's great. All right. Because Will is going to be here and maybe Taylor. Time to hone my recipe a little more time.

Oh. Add some razzle dazzle. My whole desk is covered in. How many gallons? So I was going to do two. I'm not good at math. I was going to do two because the tank I got three. Yeah, so six.

So now I'm going to do three gallons, and then I'll just put the ice on the side. Oh, we were saying I think we need another tank. Oh, another tank. I can do that. We need probably six gallons. Okay. Should we split the room and ace the tank? Do a tank race?

Someone do the math for me. Oh, a tank race would be so fun. Yeah. We should do a tank race. Meanwhile, Frank the Tank is walking to New Jersey. Yeah, so we have to finish them before he gets to New Jersey. Yeah. Tank race.

I need help with the measurements of everything and knowing how much to make. You ever see the Jungle Juice influencers? No. Yeah, I've seen that one guy. There are? No. Yeah, I've seen that one guy. There are a lot. They're keeping Sonny D in business. Tipsy bartender. He's one of them. Can we see it?

You make them in their bathtubs and shit. So much sugar. We should do a tank race and then we should just get a really complex puzzle and just have Tank do it out there. I love the idea of including Frank the Tank somehow. But not with a microphone. Like Cliff DiMartino, big yak fan.

He sent me the tubing. He's the one who bought my tits. You should just say the guy who has your tits. The guy who has my tits sent the straws. So I was in here the other day measuring it out. I think I have everything down. It's just the recipe. Because I found what dishpool liquor I want to make

and then on the site I had to multiply it by 40 to get the amount I needed and I still don't feel like it's enough. Like how much is too much? Like how much are we... I think we're going to get drunk. Well, yeah, obviously.

Six gallons would get us... Like someone would die. I'd go to the hospital. Yeah, but a tank race. Think about the tank race. One gallon per person visually seeing that

that's a good show yeah you can put it up we can put it up on like a couple stools yeah and then tank is just out there doing a puzzle I guess I don't know

like how many like like when you go out how much would you say you drink in terms of right that's what I'm trying to figure out dude me like 40 beers

40 beers yeah like 80 40 no but like in terms of like I had like 40 beers? Yeah, like 80. 40? No, but, like, in terms of, like, gallons. I had, like, 40 beers. Did you finish a gallon of alcohol in a night? Not even close. No.

You know what I saw? People doing dry January as, like, a motivation. Guys were like, I used to be able to drink, like, a 20-pack or whatever in a night, and when you pour it all into a bowl and see how much. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, my God, that's how much I'm just putting in my belly i'm i'm really bad it's like that uh video of uh the tortilla chips being made oh yeah you're actually eating like 50 tortillas yeah yeah it puts it into perspective yeah you're peeing a lot of it out though you're yeah yeah yeah yeah peeing it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peeing it out. Peeing it out. Peeing it out for sure.

Eight pints equals one gallon? Oh, come on, guys. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I'll up it more. This is liquor. True. So the average cocktail is probably, what, like eight ounces? At max, I would say. And you probably have about four to five of those when you go out.

Yeah, we should all eat, If it's teams of four. A gallon of liquor is a shit ton. But if we do teams of four and you drink and there's three gallons each, don't you think that will. I think we need to know the. Yeah, that's good. There's a three gallon take and a three gallon tank on either side. We'll split up Will and Taylor and we'll.

Yeah, we'll have a tank race. Do you want to know the recipe? Three gallons for four people? Yeah. That's a lot. This one has rum, vodka, schnapps, blue curacao.

Three gallons of this? That would kill us. There has to be something. There's club soda. Oh, okay. And then pineapple juice. So your bust will taste good afterwards. You guys are busting that.

Yeah, we should actually do a taste test. Oh, wow. I was kind of hoping it was going to be blue. I was picturing it being blue in my head. I like red. Kate, can you change everything? If it's not blue, I won't drink it. It is going to be blue.

Okay. It is going to be blue. Holy fuck. Wait, I want to see that video. Sprint for expensive alcohol, though. Yeah, that's true. I'll pay for the alcohol. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. I'd like to drink the best. Just put some pink liquid in there. Oh, Lord. Let me clean the table. Let me drink the best. They even bought a ton of Nerds to make as the gravel on the bottom of the fish tank. Oh, my God.

That's great. Put an actual fish in there. This might be worse than the case. And some gummy sharks. I wanted a real fish. See how long he lasts. We need a lot of gummies in there. PFT told me to get grenadine, so when you pour that in the blue, it looks like shark

blood. Oh, shark blood. Heathens. I mean, that's a gallon. Oh, my God. He's going to be tampered. Did you guys ever do that when you went on a trip with your boys and you're like, well, we don't have a fridge.

Let's just fill up the tub with ice. Oh, yeah. That's the best feeling. Did you always get it? Oh, yeah. You always get way too many beers. You end up with just like 70 beers sitting in a tub. You've got to fill a tub. And you can't take a shower. You don up with just like 70 beers sitting in a tub. You've got to fill a tub.

And you can't take a shower. You don't want just like 12 beers in a tub. It's really the tub. But the feeling of putting them all in the tub being like, look at all the beers. Or like doing the assembly line, filling your fridge with beers with your boys. Oh, yeah. Still might not be enough. Yeah.

And you have three. Yeah. There's 15 wounded soldiers out there. Have you done borgs? What's that? A borg is you take like the gallon of water and you like pour a little, like half out and you fill it with vodka

and then you spray like a whole bottle of that flavored stuff, Mio, into it. Oh. And then that's just what you drink and you have a borg race. I've never heard of that, a borg. Sounds pretty good. It's a very cheap college thing.

We call Will. Can you call Will? I want to get him in on it. He's confused because I just texted him. I said, we're doing a tank race. My only other concern is the straw. Yeah, the tech. We've got to do a tech run for the hosing. I'm going to have to test it out. I'm glad there's more time, actually. We could try it on Friday or something like that, just like with water

or something, just to see what we technically have and what we need to make it work. Okay. Dry run tomorrow. Dry run. There was an engineer that hit me up, said he could do it. Really? Hit me back up.

If you're legit. Yeah. You can figure it out. And also, yeah. Should we tape this on Thursday night? I'm kind of getting, I'm kind of starting to think maybe we should. Yeah. Why?

Because I feel like it would be more fun, too, to drink it. Yeah, we might want to. Anytime. Nobody said anything problematic last case race. Wait, shit, I think we're playing Dungeons and Dragons on Thursday night, actually. Ah. Eh, we'll just do it live. Fuck it.

We'll do it live. Hopefully it works. I don't think it'll be too crazy. This room's getting too full anyway. Yeah. Somebody will say something. Someone's got to cancel them yeah yeah what you calling them yeah i texted him to call in uh i did some math for so like what what's the what's the appropriate yeah i guess that's here we go uh What's the appropriate amount of hard alcohol ounces everyone wants to have? And then I can calculate what the size is.

How much gets you drunk? Like a typical person drunk. I don't drink alcohol. So like one ounce, two ounces? Four shots. Yeah, so that's two ounces. Four shots hits me hammered. Probably like eight to 12.

Yeah. So how many is that in a gallon? I'd say ten ounces each. So 40 ounces of alcohol in each tank should be good. That's not a lot. That's not a lot. That's not even a gallon. That's how much gets you just drunk.

Well, there's other stuff in there. So if it was eight and we went heavier than a one to three ratio, or no, a one to two ratio. Is that right? you were born for this one a 1 to 3 ratio so 25% hard alcohol 75% other stuff then 8 ounces of hard alcohol

each is one gallon tank oh ok so that works so it would be a third alcohol and two thirds other so if I fill up the... Yeah, essentially. Yeah, so that seems right. Nice proportion, too.

And that's eight ounces of alcohol. Like, if we're drinking it pretty fast, that will be like everyone gets drunk, but no one gets blacked out. Yeah, that's perfect. So the three-gallon tank, we're sticking with it, and I'll put the ice on the side. Yeah. For that, it's a one-gallon tank. What? For those numbers, I just calculated. That's one gallon of straight alcohol. That's a one-gallon tank. What? For those numbers I just calculated.

That's one gallon of straight alcohol. That's a one-gallon tank. So I'll do the three-gallon tank, but with ice. Steven has somehow made me so confused. Steven, isn't that just one gallon of straight alcohol? You have a three-gallon tank, Steven. It's a three-gallon tank. I realize that.

How many ounces are in a gallon? 128. Oh, fuck. Oh, wow. I thought it was like 30. Yeah, I would have said that. I was like 45. I don't know.

We're going to look like idiots if the tank's half empty. And we're like, whoa. No, we'll just put ice in the tank. Yeah. We'll figure it out. We got it. It's going to be great. I got Swedish fish.

I got nerds. There's going to be fruit. Put some rocks in the tank. Great. And then. Displace the water. Actual rocks. Yeah, that's what I mean.

It's like a fish tank. Yeah. And you guys will have some too, obviously. Maybeplace the water. Actual rocks. Yeah, that's what I mean. To displace like a fish tank. And you guys will have some too, obviously. Maybe little ones will get you little ones. Sure. TJ probably should stay sober so he can do it on a delay. How many delays are we going to hit? Should we just tape this a certain day and then air it the next day? Well, we were just saying that, but I don't think Thursday, Nick and

I have something, so it might be tough. Can we maybe pre-tape a Yak to air Friday and tape it Friday? I don't know. We could just get drunk at like 9 a.m. That would be funny as fuck. Call it Gentleman's Friday. Oh, man. I'd be

down for that. I like it. That would be very funny to get burnt at 9 a.m. I would. I for that. I like it. I would like to get, that would be very funny to get deferred at 9 a.m. I would, I would. That's like tailgating. That's when I get my drunkest. I love that idea. Okay, okay. Yeah, let's do that.

I can bring in some small, like, little. Yeah, how long do you need, TJ? For, to put it on a delay? Yeah. If there was stuff that needed to get cut out, it would take not a lot of time to do that, but it would take a couple hours.

If it was like a two-hour show, it would take two hours to get it on YouTube. I don't think that we're going to save. Nah. I mean,

the case races we have. Maybe we have a safe person. But in the Christmas special, it was the opposite. I think off liquor, we're good. I think also

if we just know it's live, we know it's live. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. I think also if we just know it's live we're not going to say it. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Why don't we just air it on like Monday? Oh, let's just do it. Let's be brave. Let's just be brave.

Let's be brave. Let's be brave. I also bought You can handle this. I bought a bunch of lays and beach balls and a Hawaiian backdrop and I want us to be like

I want everyone to come in like in a because it's winter it's cold it's gray out come in with like a tropical mind. Should we dress appropriately? I would like everyone to wear tropical shirts, Balls Beachwear.

Balls Beachwear, I want everyone to really... Stop wearing Balls Beachwear and now he just dresses like he's about to play volleyball. No, funny balls. Like he's about to play indoor soccer. This is going to be fun. Did he not used to be a short guy? Or what's going on? Or he didn't used to wear soft shorts?

You see what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, this is going to be fun. It's going to be elite. Very fun. Yeah. So who's doing the case race? Will and...

Everyone and Shane. Okay. That I'm nervous for and... Everyone and Shane. Okay. That I'm nervous for. We're doing Shane. Is Mangold joining? I kind of want to see Mangold versus Shane. Mangold versus Shane. It would be such a funny thing.

What? Will's on? Will. Will. Will. Will. Willie. Can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear you. I've been on here for four minutes. Oh, jeez. Damn. All right, so next stop. That's not that long. Fuck. So next Friday, we're going to do a tank race.

Yeah, can you explain what a tank race is? It's just two aquariums full of liquor and other stuff, and we're going to go four versus four tank race. So like jungle juice? Yeah. I'm down with that. Okay, perfect. What?

Is Nick on my team? We'll decide the teams. I think we split you and Taylor up, and then we'll decide the teams. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got to split the boys up. I mean, you have to split the boys up, but we're also going to do it live. So if you're planning on bringing your small cock with you, just know that. Oh, he never leaves my side.

He could. You could put it anywhere. Okay. All right. So you guys just got to be here by Friday at 1 p.m. Oh, we're doing it early. This is going to be early. We're getting hammered in the afternoon.

Yeah, yeah, we're getting hammered in the afternoon. Then Will and Taylor are going to be part of the streams for wild card weekend, which will be great. So hang on, we're getting drunk in the afternoon, then what? Usually I just go home and try to parent for an hour. We're going to get pork chops. We're going to go get some pork chops. We're all going to chill out and get some nice pork chops.

We can get pork chops. With the tank, if there's four on a team, is that enough for us to get hammered? Yeah. We're going to make sure that it will be. All right. Are we throwing like Everclear in there? Are we going to drop some Everclear? Possibly. Possibly. Poss some Everclear? Possibly.

Possibly. Yeah, possibly. Okay. One of the tanks. It's a mystery. We'll swirl them in a circle. You won't know what you've done. Yeah, it's going to be great.

It's going to be a lot of fun. Are you guys running for mayor? All right. We might be. Taylor brought it up when we were on a flight to Arizona and us running for mayor. Taylor wanted to tweet and see how many votes we might get. It seems like we'd be able to win. This is good.

So now you guys have gone to just doing throwback barstool bits that you're going to rip off. Why? What do you mean? Dave ran for mayor. That's how Hank got hired. Oh, maybe Taylor subconsciously or maybe consciously. i don't know all that no i think you guys should run for mayor you're rocking the air monarchs now yeah that's true i don't have them on today but that's true i i listen i'll give you my vote and we will all vote illegally for you guys

yeah i think we'd be able to run a nice campaign i did not know dave did that that sucks because you're no matter what you're always going to be one step ahead of us i don't think we can ever read the wheel yeah they they kept him out of it they like uh he had a whole he hired a campaign manager weird haircut seth and uh he said reinvent the wheel dude we actually do a wheel already we already do that yeah yeah for busting that's what i'm saying there's never you guys are winning a chess like anytime taylor and i might think of something like oh man it's gonna be funny and then it's like big cat comes in out of nowhere like oh yeah i see that you ripped that off of us too

listen that was like a decade ago so i think you're good remember when we made a podcast called son of a boy dad and then they put out girl dad merch yeah that was like a decade ago, so I think you're good. Remember when we made a podcast called Son of a Boy Dad, and then they put out Girl Dad merch? Yeah, that was cool. We sold way more than you guys. Don't worry, dude. It's not like we did a TV show of a podcast in a van, and then they just went, let's make a van a little bit. That was not a ripoff.

That was a one-up. Yeah, that was a one-up. They powered up. I feel like I'm just getting roasted right now. No, no, no, you're not. No, no, no. We love you. No, we love you.

You know I love you. Hey, Roan, that's something I can't wait to do when we get hammered is talk about what Roan, his actual intentions are. Because Roan's like, oh, no, no, we love you. And I'm like, do you mean that, Roan? Do you actually mean that? He got indoctrinated. Roan, yeah, I'm sorry. i know it's kind of an inside thing but uh we're trying to figure out ron's

personality when i was a little banged up the other night in arizona he uh got indoctrinated by caleb caleb was telling him like this is how this is how i actually am and this is the way of the world and uh maybe it's true maybe it's not don't know. He said that every time that I try to give him advice that I'm fucking with him. That is negative advice. Caleb was on his troll shit. Yeah. Oh, we all weekend long.

He's like a troll cult leader when he's drunk sometimes. Yeah, he's a troll cult leader. He gets you into him. You're like, oh, shit, is that real? He deadpan looked at me, Caleb, before the bowl game. He's like, so when did you get fat? I was like, what? Oh, no. Yeah, and then when game, he's like, so when did you get fat? I was like, what? Oh, no.

Yeah, and then when Josh Allen joined the broadcast, he texted Josh Allen. He was like, you're blowing this right now. He was on his troll shit. Yeah, see? I feel like that's out of bounds for him to talk about your weight because Caleb, he skipped out on our workout today. He did the stair climber two days ago, and then yesterday we

literally for for a recovery day yesterday we walked on the treadmill at an incline for 30 minutes and then we did like three sets of back and then caleb was like he texted us last night i was like boys the 8 a.m grinders club like i think i'm gonna take a recovery day tomorrow like i feel like i've over trained and he was sore from the stair master and walking on an incline i don't think he can come at you for a while. You can't talk weight either because you can carbon date Sunday conversations by just looking at the chin area. I always forget that Caleb has a day-to-day life.

Yeah, he does. I can't picture him living, like waking up and doing things. Yeah. Hey, Will, last question before I let you go. So you guys are verbally in for the tank race, correct? Yeah, yeah. I've gotten signed off from my wife. Hopefully Taylor gets permission as well,

and I think we'll be ready to go come next Friday. I love it. Last question. Were you the one who pooped himself on the sideline at the Arizona Bowl? Somebody pooped themselves on the sideline? Is this a real thing? I feel like the first target, the only one that makes sense is Jersey Jerry, right? He's known for shitting his pants.

That's true. Roan won't give us the answer. Somebody actually shit themselves? Yes. Roan, who was it? Don't say. Come on, Roan. Why do you want to lose lips to sink this ship?

Is it a girl or a guy? I don't know, I guess. I don't know. Are you getting me right now? No. You would know if it was you. Did you guys smell it? Like it's for sure a thing that happened?

I think someone confided in Rone and told him. Let us ask three yes or no questions. Ooh. I can't do that ask three yes or no questions. Ooh. I can't do that. Three yes or no questions. Huge hypocrisy if it was Kelly Keegs. I can't do that. Yeah, exactly.

What if it was someone... Roan, would this person be sensitive to you airing that out on live yak? I think anybody... Trying to think of not me not me if i shit my pants and i tell someone in confidence i hope you would then tell everyone i'd just be like hey in confidence and i just expect it to be told there were a lot of people it's a damn near a whodunit it's kind of an american vandal type of thing because like if you look at all the cast of characters who were down there, at some point

it was everybody that was out there. And there's every level of Barstool employee. Yeah, statistically more than one person shit them. Let's ask two questions. Two questions, yes or no? No, because I know how you're going to try to narrow it down with these binary things, these gender questions.

Alright, so it was a girl. Whoa. Oh, it was a, so it was a girl. Whoa. Did you make like a clue? Oh, it was a lady? It was a girl? Holy shit. Why would a lady tell you that they shit themselves? I thought you were going to be like, why would a lady shit themselves?

Why would a girl ever go up to Roan and say, I shit myself? Unless it was Casey because she's pregnant, I've never been pregnant. Yeah, that's been pregnant That's true She's in for two when you're pregnant Alright well We'll see you next Friday okay Get excited Alright boys I can't wait to hug you all

For two? I think you have a big turd and a little turd The cutest little baby turd That must have been his He's kicking Can we ask one question? I can't I think the person just has to

Come forward Yeah Yeah Let's name everybody that was there and look at Rose's face Say it I got a good poker face I think I don't believe it You were confident

Why are you keeping this from us? If it did I'll give a thousand I'll give a I'll chip in for a prize for someone who comes forward and proves it Proves it? What do you mean? Hand down pants? Sniff fingers?

There's gotta be something you can prove it with I don't think you could shit yourself without evidence Hand down pants. Sniff fingers. There's got to be something you can prove it with. I don't think you could shit yourself without evidence. Somebody's taking a picture. I hope you know that you're going to lead to my insanity. I know. I know that I will. I probably shouldn't have even dropped it. Does anyone else know?

Nugget. I know. You know? Why don't you just tell us? Let me ask you three questions. Yeah, Sash could probably just... Sash is an easier nut to crack. Can you just say the names?

Just so I have a picture made of who all was there. Can we get just a basic list? Yeah. Let's see. This would be so awesome if it was the mentalist was here right now. Yeah, that would be so sick. Every day would be better with him around. You're thinking of a name.

Tell us, Roan. I can't. It's not my information to tell. There goes PFT. Tell us who shit. Oh. Ah. Ah.

Hmm. I feel like PFT would be pretty open about that. Yeah, he would. He definitely would. We say it all the time. That you shit yourself? Yeah, when we do, yeah. There's no hiding it. We say it all the time. That you shit yourself? Yeah, when we do, yeah.

There's no hiding it. I think that people, there's like some weird thing about society that once you get over the age of like five, you can't shit yourself. Like, what the fuck? Until you hit about 80. Yeah, it's like, dude, I shit myself once a year at least. At least. I don't think I'm once a year. If you don't shit yourself once a year, you're not living life on the edge.

I haven't shit myself, I don't think, ever in my adult life. All right, well, it's not all Chinese. I've never had a piece of poop in my life. Okay, all right. No, no, no. I've had it twice. I've had ooze. All right, fine. I'm the minority here.

Are people shitting themselves like that? Poop poop? No, but like in an accident. No, if you're shitting yourself, it's not a solid shit. Impossible. Correct. Right. KB, you pooped yourself on this show before. That's true. Oh, it's not a solid shit. Impossible. Correct. Right. KB, you pooped yourself on this show before.

That's true. Oh, yeah. We visually saw it. It was a solid one. Oh, the turtle. Come on. I owned up. I played along with it.

Yeah, he played along. I didn't. You, like, stamped it. Was that your clit then? What was it? It was his clit. You had your clit in your butt? And another time we were taping the Best of the Yak podcast.

You had to leave. Yeah. You've sh shit yourself twice. No, he has close calls every single day, multiple times a day. If you have close calls, that means you shit yourself. I left because I was more embarrassed that I didn't shit myself and I just smelled it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Worse. I hate when that happens. You smell like a fish oil vitamin. People are going to think I shit myself. I better leave. Go to the bathroom and wipe. Yeah, I would rather have shit myself than just smell like I shit myself. Yeah. Who was it?

Oh, God. You tell me. I won't say it. It's a who did it. Right now, I'm 90% sure no one did. I need you to give me a piece of information that would somewhat prove to me that it happened. You've been watching too many interrogation videos to try and hit me with a, I don't believe it actually happened, so you have to prove it.

I'm trying to get one foot in the door. I'm trying to get one foot in the door. Time of the game. Tell us when it happened during the game. You can say that. No, no, no. Why? I can't say.

Because people were on the field at so many different times. Would you say if it was Brandon? They shit themselves on the field. On the sideline. It was someone who was on the field during the course of Barstool's involvement in the bowl game. And I'll even say it. Holy shit. I'm not confirming or denying anyone.

It'd be funny if Erica shit herself and only told Roan. If anything happens to me, and I don't want people to find out, you don't tell Roan. No. Well, you don't tell me. It seems like you do. I would be the number one, because I would have already said it. I guess you don't tell anybody. I would have tweeted it.

Yeah, you don't tell anybody if you don't want anyone to know. So they wanted somebody to know. Right. Somebody. Come on, KB, crack them. I know you had something to do with this. I'm not saying you did it yourself. You put shit in someone's mouth.

We already have that on the table. We just want to know why. Because I know you're not a monster. I just want to know why. Because I know you're not a monster. I just want to know why. What happened? Maybe your emotions were high. You were acting impulsively. Why did this happen? What are the three steps?

What are the three steps, KB? It's like comfort, fear. It's fascinating to watch. You want a sandwich? Let me get you a sandwich. Dr. Pibb? Hey, Rome, we just want to ask you a couple questions. Not a suspect.

Randomly, yeah, they randomly ramp it up. Would the person be willing to say who they are? Like, if we got to the bottom of it, would they admit on the yak? Yeah, it would be a good sport about it.

I don't know. You don't know. KB, I think I'm done with those videos. They're fucking me up. Yeah, that shit gets real dark fast. JCS has another account. It's JCS Spaced Out.

And the one yesterday really fucked me. I started one last night called The Scream Killers. Yep. That one was real dark. Was that the World of Warcraft one? No, it was these two kids wanting to recreate a scream murder. Oh, yeah. Really dark.

You guys need to stop doing that. You're clicking on it? I clicked on it because KB forced me to. Yeah, he's been. People love it. The JCS ones are really good. They're so good. I watched the Jennifer.

Was it Jennifer? The girl? Yeah. I watched that one. Yeah. The Yeardley's ex-boyfriend one was really good. That one's kind of funny. Because the kid is such a dumbass.

That was insane. Yeah, he sucks. He's like, how'd you get into the house? And he's like, well, I kicked a hole in the door. And he just sees, like, no problem with it. Yeah. I just told you. My eyes. Actually, if you're a mentalist,. I just told you. With my eyes.

Actually, if you're a mentalist, because I just told you. I said it clear as day, spelled it out. With your eyes? All 11 letters. Whoa. 11 letters.

I'm just kidding. Were other people besides you aware that this had happened? Was there like a little circle around that was like, oh, that person definitely shit themselves? Was there like a scuttlebutt about it? I don't know if there was other... I mean, there's definitely people around.

I'm not getting, it's not matching up. I thought you said you knew Sass. No. And now he's playing dumb because he doesn't want to get in the crosshairs. Sass knows, though. I know. I've always known. Because it was me.

I did get so many where's Sasses at the Arizona Bowl. I don't know what to say when people say that. Oh, he's too young to come. It's the weirdest. I think I've said it before, but I got it when I was in Paris. Where's Dave? Where's PFT? Yeah.

What? I don't know. Somewhere in America. Yeah. Did I say it in French? That'd be sweet. Where's PFT? Can we play the video of the lady determining our fart sounds?

Yes. Oh, yeah. They were in. I love her. What is this? You didn't see this? The composer. No.

Remember, who asked yesterday they wanted to see what keys we were farting in? And this woman went on and she figured it out. She figured out what keys we were farting in. And she nailed it. They're a music student. Incredible work. And she did it late last night. She's like, I don't know. Yeah, they're a music student. Incredible work. And she did it, like, late last night. She's like, I don't know what my life is

that I'm doing this at, like, midnight. No, you're right where you need to be in life. I appreciate it, yes. Yeah, you're very talented. Everything's going perfectly. And they play this song. Yeah. All of our farts.

I want to know what key I'm farting in. I don't know. Could I 100% take one of these farts and, like, put it into put it into GarageBand or something and make a song. Is this my origin story? Is this really what I'm going to do? Sass, you fart an F.

F is fart. Oh, baby. sass you fart an f after fart kb you also fart an f but it's like lower nice after fart two for two that's how it comes out wait wait oh he's got one That's better. What's that? So it's like C to A and then it dips a little more. I don't think anyone else farted that day. The only thing they know about that DC pipe bomb is what? I farted like 10 times just trying to make this video

alright Jerry yeah that's F sharp so it's an extra sharp fart just leans up a little bit it's incredible that's amazing yeah funny as unintelligible pure rhythm Yeah. Funny as.

Unintelligible. Pure rhythm. No tone. All attack. We were having a fart contest and the... I don't remember that one. I don't remember that at all. It's really quick.

Do this at 11 o'clock at night in my pajamas imagine what i could do if i put in any effort whatsoever oh my god i love it really thank you for that she's the best oh fuck now we just need someone to take those notes and make a song. Yeah, someone will do that. Shannon Hawkins. Shannon Hawkins, yeah. A hero. Shannon, a delight. Oh, my God.

We actually have the farts in symphony. Oh, what? Oh. Oh my god What a video We're all like 12 years old Oh it's the best My mom is this show's

Biggest critic And she was She said she was howling I mean My favorite work We're all like 12 years old Oh it's the best My mom is this show's biggest critic And she said she was howling My favorite work It's really just Clearly we can't do it every day But it's such a litmus test of like Do you take yourself too seriously Yeah

Like if you're like Ah it's not funny It's gross Like Kelly Keegs You're taking yourself too seriously Kelly just doesn't like the smell That's fair It didn't It was like, Kelly Keegs, you're taking yourself too seriously. Kelly just doesn't like the smell. That's fair. It didn't.

It was like fart. I think it was how you grew up. What household? Yeah, right. Fart funny or fart not? Fart was a bad word in my household for a while. I was a stinker house. Really?

Yeah. It should actually be like the first test for being a president. Like were farts funny or not in your house? I think the president should have to fart to be able to run. So that you don't take yourself too seriously. You have to fart before you say you're running for president. Like were farts funny or not in your house? I think the president should have to fart to be able to run. So that you don't take yourself too seriously. You have to fart before you say you're running for president. Without shitting themselves? No, you shit. Yeah.

I don't know, dude. Now we wound up with Biden. Who would make the... If you had to fart while shitting yourself, who would make the best president here? Guaranteed shit yourself? Yeah.

You would, brother. Yeah, you're a fart swirler. What about outside of this room? Who would make the best president? You're saying fart to shit themselves? Yeah, and think about it. When you're the president, you have to win all kinds of states. Florida.

Uggs. Yeah, Dax.'re gonna go all the way up to arizona i mean doug's didn't hesitate he had so much confidence and he blasted so i don't know i to win the state of arizona who would be best at shitting themselves i think we're not talking about Brandon enough, too. Oh, yeah. That's true. Was it Brandon? What?

Brandon was struggling with the sun. It was a hot. I think Brandon would admit. It was a brutally hot 63-degree day in Arizona. Said he threw up in the airport. Yeah, he was covered up with, like, a shawl. He was standing like. That sounds like an awful affliction to be honest.

I mean, it's insane that he can't handle heat or sun. And it was like a cold day. Yeah. It was like a very, you had to wear a jacket. Had a jacket on, yeah. How long do you think it's going to take for that bruise to go away? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Another year. Did he ever go to the hospital or anything or it's just like. Something has to happen. Oh, I don't think he can anymore because they called him a pussy last time when he wasn't drinking enough water. Right. He's banned from hospitals. Don't let this man in. Just give him water.

We've already diagnosed him as pussy. Hospitals are getting too informal. My MRI was scheduled today. I got a text this morning saying that it's canceled because they don't have the MRI machine. What? Have you been on an MRI machine? It is kind of scary.

Yeah, so I have to go to a different hospital. They're like, you have to stay still. Yeah, and you're like going and you're right next to it. It's right in your face. One of the funniest bits or one of my favorite bits is the Louis bit about how fat people have to go to the zoo

to get an MRI. And they're like, actually, he's like, there's go sit over there on that. Hey, no way. He's talking about how they like

have like different bathrooms for all the genders now. And he's like, fat people, we send you to the zoo. That is funny. Oh, man. Should we spin the wheel? I owe a wheel.

I don't know if you want to do it today or what. Because for people who don't know, we had to cancel a whole entire wheel that we did. That was electric. Oh, yeah. I think that might be part of why the wheel has been punishing us recently. I actually felt relief today coming in. I was like, oh, good.

Knowing that fart was off the wheel for today, I actually felt relieved that I didn't have to try and fart. And it will become a timeless classic when it comes back up again. Yeah, I'm going to be excited. I think we'll get better at it. Missed.

All right, spin the wheel, and then do we want to spin my wheel? That means the yak could be over forever. I want to spin that. Let's do high noon. There's no wet on yours, is there? No wet. We could do whatever my real punishment is tomorrow.

We cancel tank race until next week. All right, High Noon. High Noon is hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. It's actually made with vodka and not with malt like other hard seltzers. Real vodka, real juice for real fans just like us. Head over to your local liquor store and get some today. What's your favorite flavor, Roan? Oh, dude, I've been going absolutely crazy for grapefruit.

Really? And if you play back the tape of every time that I've ever been asked that, I'm consistent as hell. I say grapefruit every time because I actually like it. This isn't some charade that I play. I'm not fucking wearing a mask and pretending to be someone I'm not, dude. I love the grapefruit flavor. It's just that tasty to me.

High Noons are delicious. Peach is my jam. Really? All about the peach. Really? Yeah. I like grapefruit more than Roan. Really? Yeah. You like High Noon grapefruit more than Roan? I'll be pissed down your leg, dude. I like watermelon more than Roan likes grapefruit

and more than Nick likes grapefruit. I'll be pissed down both of your legs. I like peach more than any of you like anything in life. No. I believe that. Possible. Alright, well head over to your local liquor store and get some today. High Noon is the best hard seltzer with real vodka, real juice, sparkling water.

It's actually made with vodka. No malt. Best. You see Ravel's tweet about it? What? Number one selling spirit in No malt. Best. You see Ravel's tweet about it? What? Number one selling spirit in the US. Wow. Alza. Beat whoever that, whatever that other one is.

With some shitty malt. Yeah. With some shit malt drink. With some drink that's like spicy. Who wants to get spicy drinks? I love spicy drinks. Spicy margaritas are my Guys we're shitting on Ravel Stop

Who would like spicy drinks? Ravel's not me That's a bitch ass Ravel's dumb ass bitch ass I have to take a Tums when you drink it If this hits name wheel we'll skip mine If it's wet, we'll do yours.

Yeah, yeah. All right, so now let's spin my wheel. We'll do this tomorrow. I don't remember everything on mine, even though we saw it the other day. People who did get to watch that live, that's why you should watch the Yak live. Also, like the video, please.

Also, buy that Yak shirt. The logo's on the right. That's one of the best Yak shirts of all time. Shit is fire. Fucking Jack. Okay, so they made you huge. Handsome. They gave me chest hair.

What? Yeah. They sure did. So rough. You have chest hair, right? I do. I do. I didn't know it would be so anatomically correct.

Belupas. Please, Belupas. NX free solo. That's someone has to do the yak solo for the amount of minutes. Champagne real pain. I buy a bottle of Cristal, and I also... You have to put your finger in a mousetrap. I think I would rather put my finger in a mousetrap

than have to do the yak solo. I think you should. I think that one is justrap than have to do the X solo I think you should I think that one is just like you have to maybe finish the bottle of champagne and every time you take a sip you have to put your finger in a mousetrap Jesus Christ I don't like that

No, it's not good Why don't you like that? I hate that You don't like Cristal? I want Belupa so bad 10X food Someone has to eat 10X of, I can't remember. Everybody's weight?

Oh, that's the 10x health. Where's 10x health? Fitness. That's everyone's weight combined, and someone's going to have to lift that amount of weight during an entire yak. I'm cool with that. I mean, you go to the gym. And death to the yak.

That means this is the last show ever. Let's hope for that. Spin it. I'm tired. What. I mean, you go to the gym. And Death to the Yak, that means this is the last show ever. Let's hope for that. Spin it. I'm tired. What's 10x food? It's 10x the amount of food that everyone has to eat. I can't remember. Oh, yes.

This is what I was hoping for. What is it? 10x fitness. Is this? Can you say it? You have to do the amount of weight. You're going to be doing just fine. You have to do the amount of weight. You're going to do just fine. You got to just clip that.

10X Fitness. Tomorrow, whoever loses this, and I'll put myself on this wheel too. Whoever loses this tomorrow will have to lift the amount of weight of everyone in the room times 10. Whatever exercise they want. Let's say, I don't know. Lifted how? So like say, let's say, I don't know. Kate, how much do you weigh?

I weigh 178. I weigh, I'm 99 pounds. What do you weigh, Kate? I'm 150. Okay. What would be that? I'm 149.

149. I got it. Are you 180? Yeah. 80, 80, I'm going to be 250. 175 this morning.

175. Which is... I'm like 170 now. 70. Sass? 178. 178. I'm usually 178.

That's crazy. Brandon's what? 300? TJ and Steven, I'm going to put you at like 200. 185. 185 for TJ. All right. So it's 18, 1,850 pounds.

What do you mean by lift that? Times 10. So you have to lift. Like reps. Reps, 18,000 pounds during the course of a yak tomorrow. You could do one pound weights. You could do 10 pound

weights. You could do bench press. So if I bench 225 12 times... You have to bench it 82 times. Jesus Christ. Okay. I feel like one pounders might be... Someone will have to do that 82 times. Jesus Christ. Okay. I feel like one pounder is my favorite. Yeah, that's a pitch of a workout.

Yeah, right. That's terrible. I think the way that the person should do it is just do, if you do the bar, it's 45 pounds. 411 times you have to lift the bar. Oh, my God. That's doable. Can we do, is there no leg machines here? That sucks.

Yeah. You could put, you could probably put like two, two like weights on your, free weights on your shoulders and do like squats or something like that. This is just hard. This is hard enough to be very funny. Yeah, I know, right.

It's just like enough where it's like doable, but it's going to suck for the person. Should we spin now to see who it is? Yeah. This is going to suck badly. It's going to have you sore as fuck, even if you don't get it. My body is...

Eliminator or one and done. Eliminator. Yeah. Got to be the Eliminator. I'm excited for this. Someone's getting fucking swole tomorrow. I know. I mean, yeah, with this, you'll get jacked in one day, right?

Easy. All right. Then I will put myself on it, so that's fair. No, Che. Che was the best one. I know, by far. All right, not Eliminator, not Eliminator. One and done.

No, it's Eliminator. I'm joking. Just make Che do it. I want him to do it. Next time I'll just do the wheel. When I do my wheel, I'll just have Che's punishment. Sass off. You wanted to do it, Conor.

I wanted to do it. I guess I should just go to the gym now. Yeah. You wanted to be forced to work out. I wanted to be beat off. The three guys that wanted to. Yeah, I wanted to do it very bad. I know.

This is not good. Wheel nose. Oh, I wanted to do it. I will feel bad if Kate has to do this, but she still will have to do it. I don't feel bad enough that she doesn't have to. She's who I want to do it now. Roan, say. Fuck.

This is going to suck if it's me. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Kate, so there's three people left, and you're one of them. Enjoy that milkshake, Kate. This is not okay. This would genuinely break my body The episode, does it have to keep going until I'm done?

Yeah For everyone though? Yeah You'll be here forever No, you can just get We need you five pound weights You just sit here like this Oh my god

Okay Five pound weights, that's still hard That's still really hard How many reps would that be? Alright, so if you did five pound weights weights, if you did one arm, five-pound weights. But you could do curls, reverse curls. You'd have to just do 3,700 reps. I think you're right.

Wait, could you split that up? Dude, I couldn't do that with just my fist. No, I couldn't lift my fist that many times. You could do, I think you could do if you did just the barbell and you just did every exercise. I think that's the best. Yeah.

I struggle with the barbells. What, 40 something? Yeah, 45 pounds. That's a lot. I struggle with the barbell. Kate's body's gonna break. This is gonna ruin me. We don't know if it's Kate.

Okay, go ahead. Deadlift, squat. Go ahead. Oh no, this. It's gonna be terrible. Kate, no, here's what you could do, Kate. You could buy ankle weights, and you could just walk around the office. Oh, every step is a pedometer.

Yeah. It's a rep. Does that count? People would be mad about that. No, I think that counts. That's lifting the weight. How many steps would that be with five pound? 3,700.

1,000 steps? Yeah. How many steps? What is that equivalent of? 3,000 steps is like a half a mile. That's not a lot. I think it's like a mile. 3,000 steps is...

Do you think Tyler O'Day would let me go to the Empire State Building and walk up the steps? Oh, that would be awesome. I would do that. I think I could do that. That sounds way worse. That sounds a lot worse. I have no arm strength. My upper body is like...

You don't have to do arms. You don't have to do a single arm exercise. That's what I'm saying. If I could do steps with leg things on, I think I could crush it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Also, if you get one pound weights and do it at the same time, so it's like two miles. Yeah.

Wrist weights, ankle weights, and then that halves your reps. I wonder how hard that would be. I wonder if that would get really hard. Yeah. Is this best of seven? Yeah. Okay. Whoever gets it four times is safe.

Safe. When I blow dry my hair, I get my arms get tired. This is one for you. That's good. You could also split it up. You could do, like, some weights, some walking. I do want it to hit on me here. Two for Kate.

Yes. Two for Kate. EJ, what's your plan of attack? I guess find somebody else to produce the show. Yeah. How would you go about it? Edge press? Like two-pound arm weights or something and just crank that shit. Yeah.

Two, one. Yes, you want it that shit. Yeah. Two, one. Yes, you want it to land on you four times. So two more times. If it lands on you, you're safe, Kate. One more time, Kate. All right. Well, this is fine. Three, one lead.

Oh. Unblowable. No, this has never been. Never happened. DJ. All right. You're still fine. Three, two.

I'm trying to stay calm because I feel like the wheel can sense. Like a dog, it can sense. Fear. You guys will genuinely be here forever tomorrow. Yep. I don't see it. It's fine. Come down to this bin.

Imagine if you get injured or pass out, how bad that would look for us. Right. I know. Because you'd have to keep going. Okay. Oh, no. Wait. You're good.

Is it me? Yeah. That's you. God, fuck. How much weight? What? How much weight? 18,000 pounds. I'll say something.

I'm perfidious. I feel like out of everyone here, Stephen, you would probably be the number one gentleman. Are you really going to make Kate do this? Yeah, Kate. I'll take you instead of Kate if you step up and be a gentleman. What? I would do it. What?

You'd do it? You owe me one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep. Okay. If anything lands on you, it has to be a wheel. A bad.

A bad. Yes. Anything you want. Yes. That's fair. Absolutely. I think that keeps everything just. Yeah, that's fine.

I thought that I won it at first. I don't mind. Yeah. want. That's fair. Absolutely. I think that keeps everything just. Yeah, that's fine. I thought that I wanted it at first. I don't mind. Okay, all right. I just want to see Steven have to wait the whole day. I've got to get out of here by 2 tomorrow anyway. I know. I think it would be funny for me at first, but then I think you'd all be like, oh my God. No, and I think if there's a debt that can forever be paid off.

And I think it's like this was intended to have a little bit of bench pressing. Yes. And Steven? Because we want to be able to watch the PMT studio in the corner. What's your plan? Yeah, I'm definitely

going to do 135 with a lot of stuff. So plates on each side, bench, normally do. Do some shoulder shrugs, do a little bit of... We're going to have a short yak tomorrow, boys.

137 reps at 135. Yeah, so I'll do probably... I think you should just stick with one. I'll probably do 40. No, I think you should just... 40 reps of bench, and then I'll do some shoulder shrugs. Who's going to spot you? I think you should just stick with the bench.

I'm going to do 40 reps at 135. Oh, just stick with the bench, because then we can watch it. Just do 137. Exclusively bench? I can't do that many. Yeah, you can. Over the course of a yak? 40 is a lot.

Of 130. Well, you know what? Sorry. I forgot. You're not really in shape anymore. You probably can't. I could never do 135. No, I know.

I know. I thought you were. I thought because you give off alpha energy that you would have been able to do that, but I was wrong about you. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm going to get in a great workout. Well, no. I thought you'd be able to prove the haters wrong and get 137 bench press up there,

but I apologize for being wrong about that. You're clearly a pussy. For the sake of the show, I will try and max out on 135 benches, in which case I will need a spotter. Okay. Great. Who do you want to spot you billy whoever why me 135 something whoever anyone from here i actually would like you to not have a spotter see if i've been in that situation that would be very funny too if there's if danger

arrives i used to have bench press in my bedroom and what happened i moved out i'm saying did you you said you got in a situation where you didn't have a spotter and you were stuck yeah and it was in your bedroom yep what did you do just put it on your like chest and roll it down over your dick area no i didn't i didn't do the twisties at the end so i just you just let him off yeah i got i got uh i got stuck under the bench at the gym in college and this guy that was probably 400 pounds of straight muscle had to rip it off of me, and then he slammed it on the ground. And he was like, what are you doing, bro? Scold at you, too.

He was like, ask for a spot. You got to scold. And everyone in the gym was staring at me. And then I was like, yeah, I'm sorry, man. My bad. And then I put on 10 pounds less, and I did my first rep, and I almost, I was like yeah I'm sorry man my bad and then I put on 10 pounds less and I did my first rep and I almost I was like this close to failing

it literally took me like 30 seconds because I was like I can't I can't have this happening and so I was like and then I stopped benching and I went over to the dumbbells and I did I was using 45s and I dropped a dumbbell on my chest it's all over the course of like five minutes and I went over to the dumbbells and I did, I was using 45s and I dropped a dumbbell on my chest. Oh my gosh.

This is the same workout? This is all, this is over the course of like five minutes and a dude came over to me and he was like, bro, don't be afraid

to ask for a spot and then I left. A separate dude? A separate dude and then I left the gym and I didn't go back for a couple months. Had the separate dude

seen you? Everyone saw, dude, everyone. This guy picked it up and threw it on the ground. I'm saying, so the second guy who spotted you and threw it on the ground. You know what I'm saying? So the second guy who spotted you, he knew that you had gone through this situation before.

Dude, like the whole gym knew I had gone through it. That's amazing. He picked it up off of me, like stood over me, picked it up, and then slammed it on the ground. Yes. And was like, ask for a spot, bro. This guy was so big. At least you were going to failure. He looked like The Rock.

That might be one of my favorite stories of you. He was doing shrugs. He was doing shoulder shrugs with like 315 pounds, and he had a mouth guard in. He had to spit the mouth guard out to yell at me. Oh, my God. He was fucking mortified. How much weight was on there? Like 135.

That's even worse. And then I took it off and I was doing like 125, I guess. So I took like 10 pounds off. And that was when I almost failed again. And I have like nightmares about if I failed that rep because he was still right next to me. What I would have done. Why did you ask him to spot you? I wasn't going to ask him to spot me.

He was fucking massive. He was in the middle of a workout. Since then, I've never had that happen again. And I have gotten it stuck, but now I know what to do. Yeah. What's the chat saying, TJ? Are they mad about the switch? They've brought up an interesting

point. If we're going to say that Che can give a future wheel punishment to Kate, Che has a future wheel punishment to Kate. Che has a pending wheel punishment currently. Oh! Wait, what is it? Stinky cloud. Oh, no!

Stinky cloud. Wait, wait. We have the tent. I have the tent. I bought the tent. I don't want to tell anybody what to do. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Time out.

Is it too late? Because I'll make you all sit here tomorrow and I'll do it. No, no, no. It is Time out. Is it too late? Because I'll make you all sit here tomorrow and I'll do it. No, no, no. It is too late. It's too late. It's definitely too late. Do you want to give the Stinky Cloud to Kate? Oh, no.

No. I don't dread the Stinky Cloud at all. You don't dread the Stinky Cloud at all? Yeah, no. I need Kate to do both of these. Yeah, yeah. All right, all right. It'll be a future.

It's a pick in the future. Yeah. I actually almost texted you guys. I've said that when I walk by homeless people, I usually just take a whiff. Oh my god. And see how bad they smell. There was a top ten all-time guy yesterday in Penn Station. What the fuck?

You are such a psycho. Top ten all-time? Yes. Was it near the top of the escalators? Yes. Also, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yup. Because they're like rolling around in the puddles. Because normally it's bad, but yesterday I was like,

oh, it's an extra je ne sais quoi. The only way you can get that bad is if you shit, piss, and cum yourself. Yeah. All right, so it's a future pick, which actually that is worse for Kate, in my opinion. Because the future is unknown. Unprotected pick. That's true.

Unprotected pick. It's the fear of the unknown that gets you. I still, I'm glad you don't, that you're going to keep Stinky Cloud as well, because I don't want that. I'll be fine. Should we make him lift in a Stinky Cloud? Can't do that. Knock out both at once. I'm putting Bear Mace in the Stinky Cloud.

It's a little spritz of Bear Mace. If we were going to make the stinky cloud, who from the Arizona Bowl do you think we should add? Oh. Is Joey there? Camasta? Joey was there. Huh.

Yeah, dude, it's going gonna be sick tomorrow fucking bench pressing and shit you're such a shithead is there free weights in there I mean there's a bunch of I just wanna see you bench it baby I wanna see you bench it

are you gonna wear a special workout outfit sleeveless I can bring in a sleeveless I'd want to see you bench it. Are you going to wear a special workout outfit? Sleeveless. I feel like you have to... I can bring in a sleeveless. I'd like to see you sleeveless. Like with a deep armpit. I don't know if I have one of those. We'll cut one for you.

We'll cut a yak shirt into one of them or something like that. Make it a nice weightlifting shirt. Show off your obliques, your lats. Maybe one of our new yak shirts if they're in. If they're in. Ooh. I actually wanted to lift tomorrow. Make him one of those stringer shirts that goes, like, way down.

Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Like, I want to see his whole pecs, his whole nipple out. Oh, he does his. Oh, there it is. There they are. They're dancing. Gonna be popping tomorrow.

Shake it, shake it. This is actually fun. I feel like he's glad this is happening. Yeah, but I just want to see him be tortured by having to lift all this weight. And we will be rep policing. Oh, yeah. We will be rep policing. You've got to have great form.

Ass to grass. You can assign if Connor wants to come in and be a manual counter or something like that. Yes, Connor can be a manual counter. We'll get a little whiteboard. And Connor has perfect form. Yes. He does. He's never missed a tally.

It's worth $3,700? No, $1,800. $18,500. $18,500? Yes. NX. That's what we're saying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, right, right. Whoa, he didn't just count Zha either. So it's actually a little more. Let's say 20,000. It's 20,000. 20k? Zha weighs 1,000 pounds. Oh, 10x.

Oh, 10x. Yeah, 10x. I guess, yeah. 20,000 pounds. I guess us all together don't weigh 18,000 pounds. It's like 148.15. That's a great round number, the 20,000 pounds. I guess us all together don't weigh 18,000 pounds. That's a great round number. The 20,000 pound man. I took that.

I accepted that. 20,000 pound man. Challenge accepted. How many tons is that? 10. No. Yes. Wait.

Your metrics are horrible. I'm American. You. Yes. No. Wait. Your metrics are horrible. I'm American, motherfucker. You're right, Che. What the fuck? Metrics are bad. Who the fuck needs metrics? You're 80% off on a gallon. Yeah, dude.

I don't know this shit. He doesn't know metrics. Remember when we did the gallon challenge and I thought that that was a half gallon? Yeah, you did. I buy milk every day. That was not a metric thing. But I literally buy milk every single day for my house. They're just buying too small quantities.

Your metrics are terrible. That's such a hilarious diss. Metrics suck, bro. I'm so bad at this shit Metrics Distance Volume I don't even know how to calculate volume How many minutes are in a year?

I'm like 5,000 25,000 How many minutes in a year? I can get it Give me a little bit A little bit Minutes in a year

Alright alright When Kate just did it She just sang it She sang it a little bit wrong But yeah How about What is that? Years to minutes?

Yeah, I don't... I'm bad at numbers. How do you calculate volume? Pythagoras. That's a bullseye. Did you say Pythagoras? Wait. Pythagoras?

Yeah, yeah. You could do like water displacement. I had a terrible, terrible math brain. I really just only know how to calculate over and unders. You're very good at calculating live overs. Yeah, right. That's it. That's literally it.

It's just football numbers and then numbers between, like, 120 and 160 in college basketball and 200 and 240 in NBA. That's all you need. That's all I need. That shit I got on lock. All right. We got anything else? I got Nick a present.

Oh. What? It's in the black bag tier, right? You've been sitting next to the present all day? Last year I got you a hat with a really big brim. It's a real small brim. Oh, shit. Wow. Nice, TJ. That's hilarious. It's a real small brim Oh shit Wow

Nice TJ That's hilarious This is the best This is the new trend That's so cute That is the smallest brim I've ever seen Where'd you find it TJ? Wow you kind of rock that well

Do a full turn to the side So everybody can see how small the little brim is. This is Ebbets Field-ass. Go from the side? Yeah, look really far. Even more. There you go. That's kind of wavy. Yeah, you do. You look like you'd be on...

TJ's the best. You look like a bike courier. Yeah, I was thinking bike courier, too. Oh, yeah. There you go. Damn, Nate. Damn, TJ. Yeah I was thinking bike courier too Oh yeah there you go Damn Nate Damn TJ Bro you kind of look like The city of Portland

It does You gotta take that show on the road Yeah bro It's very funny on the side You're Portland Shut up That won't stick Alright well we'll see everyone tomorrow For Che's lift off the side. You're Portland. Shut up. That won't stick.

Alright, well we'll see everyone tomorrow for Che's lift off. Ten tons. Ten tons. Ten ton Friday. Ten ton man. Then next Friday we'll do the tank the tank race which will be fantastic. And how's tank, what's tank doing?

If you want to do a puzzle out there. Puzzle guy? Probably not. Oh. Yeah. Probably. What if it's like. Green set?

There's two things that he's got to solve. And one is like helpful to. I'll think of something. I'll think of something. Don't give him an in. Okay. Run the whole show. Maybe we put him in a tank?

Yeah. A real nesting doll situation. He can't get out of the tank until we're done our tanks. I did like last thing the Tomlin wired up, miked up, and he was like, no one go frank the tank until we're done our tanks. I did like last thing the Tomlin wired up, mic'd up, and he was like, no one go Frank the Tank on me. I'm just going to let everyone

think that he's talking about Frank the Tank. Yeah. Of course he's talking about that. That's a fictional character. Or no. Old school. Very popular. Forgot about that. Yeah. I have a feeling Mike Tomlin was talking about that. Nah. I don a feeling Mike Tomlin was talking about that, but... Nah.

Nah. I don't think so. Well, Frank the Tank. Our Frank the Tank. Our guy. All right. See everyone tomorrow. Thank you, TJ. Outro Music