The Yak - The First Round of Mackenzie's Dating Show Comes to a Canine Conclusion | The Yak 2-26-25

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

Guy TabithaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. It's the Yak sponsored by Roeback. Best fit, best feel. If you want something you never want to take off, try the Hezzy hoodie. If you want a soft, lightweight jogger, try the Sprint jogger. Roeback.com, use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase. This is the best

stuff in the game. High quality, high comfort. You can wear it to the bar the barbecue the bank with the ball bingo anything Stylish I was row back head to toe at the gym today those five bees We're hat or row back hat Wow hat guy at the gym goes damn. Do you look cool as fuck? Yeah, you'll get that it was me. I was looking in the mirror but Yeah That it was me I was looking in the mirror. Oh, haha, but Yeah shirt joggers hat mm-hmm a bill a bank a ball a banquet a barbecue a

Bar bingo a lower tier ball. I'm it's not giving that oh yeah a bar mitzvah baptism a baptism while a lot of I have a baptism car a Bulls game are you Godfather Kyle the Godfather? There's a lot of pressure. I have to dunk the infant How or do I don't think I don't think you hold the I have to white I have to dry him off dry his naked Body off. Oh, is he naked my hand? Dry this baby Smooch him on the head. Tickle him. Have you seen that? It's like the Orthodox Greek church and the priest is

like donk. Yeah. Donk it him like an Oreo. Is it Greek Orthodox? I don't know. They are brutal with it. Yeah. Does the Godfather do anything in the ceremony? He just he just stands right? Yeah, he just stands. I think it's a witness a little stand. I thought they held Please little candle lighting action. Look at that Yeah Russian or Turkish Republic of Georgia That came across my feet after I had my first baby when I was like freshly put and I had like a panic attack

watching it like a Yeah, you know what they say about wounded children. What do they say, Kyle? Shockingly adaptive. Resilient. Huh. Do you guys remember? I had a package come in today, and it was a Yak thing, but I don't remember what it was.

Yeah? You were talking about it a little before, and I had zero recollection. Yes. So I remember zero recollection. Yes! So I remember you buying- I forget what this was about. I remember you buying it. I ordered this from London or the UK.

I was shocked you bought it. This was, I didn't realize, this was pretty fucking expensive for me. I remember your reaction. You were like, oh look at that round boy there, but I don't remember the discussion that went up. Who was the guy? I don't remember anything about this. What's the text? We were we were in a Wikipedia hole Definitely certainly and we got to him somehow it was a woman. I thought I thought we were looking up a woman, too But that came up. That's a man. That's a man. It's a big man, but we're looking up big boys

I don't remember at all. We're looking up big boys. I don't remember at all Through the ages we might have pages like hey you got a fancy package because it was in like wood And I'd like unstable like the like the It wasn't when we were playing person place or thing Wikipedia. I think that was longer ago, TJ Do you remember No, just chapter. I think we were looking up historical big boys this taught this cost me 170 great British pounds just to get through cows not for the peace Great British or just British GbP, okay We were looking up a woman if anybody wants to buy this off of me

Yeah, are you actually gonna? Have to hang it. I gotta hey Why don't we remember this let's try to put together the pieces as Jacobus? What yeah, yeah, I saw Jacobus Whitlock. There was nothing let's play a memento James. It's a good-looking painting You're not gonna hang that why did why why did we stumble upon this keep going there's got to be Why did we stumble upon this? Keep going. There's gotta be... Under James. Under James.

Nope. I remember that. I remember under James. But I don't remember it. Sharp collision with the crowns. This is a long wiki. Oh wait, abuse is a pow. I feel like...

Huh. Was he a bad guy? For all the bullshit we do, retracing our steps is impossible Folly court Buckinghamshire, do I remember that it was something with his wife right Francis Francis So on the whole well with Francis Bay, okay under Charles might be something But what did he do under Charles? I don't know. He's a beautiful big boy. Well, he may be small I think he's in a you think he's hollow sphere small big boy This is where I think we're gonna hit it. I really bolster Road go purple links if anybody in the Chicago area wants to trade for something cool

Bolstered white lock oh, that's what it was so I didn't even get the main guy You were looking at bolster. Oh, did we just saw that guy? get the main guy you were looking at bolster and we just saw that guy announced the child called bolster it was at somebody's birthday July 208 6th of august birth why don't know this was pretty recent I don't have anything about that I won't say this was in the

last three months it was which is scary that twin brother no I don't know wow you gotta get one of his twin to remain a mystery someone in the chat we'll get it yeah anyways someone will figure it out that was my voice so it got here it got here good wow that's awesome man good condition yeah I'm actually looking out on screens funny I'm keeping it yeah you gotta keep it all right right. There's that. Fun surprise.

The great story behind it. Yeah, it's like. Because we just don't know what it is. If I ever do a dating show, that'll be my prize possession. Are we mad at Dan at all for teasing us this morning by saying that he has procured? Literally no need for him to do that. No need for him whatsoever. Not at all.

So he texted group chat and said, showed us a pool in Indianapolis and said I have procured video of Stephen Chase swimming and we said well Yeah, it's a sent it to us. He said no we have to wait till tomorrow But then he tweeted out the teaser that it took four 25 minutes for four laps yeah, and that pool is six inches long He did not need to tweet that this morning. He could have just showed it tomorrow and said, I got a surprise for you guys. That pool is... That's the length of five Stevens? I mean, look at his arms.

His arms are almost making half of it. He also said, he told us, I was shocked even more, which made me... Right. Like, what could this pot... What is he doing? I'm tittering in anticipation. So his laps are just general measurements? They're not like, oh, he has to go a certain distance? There's no. There's no way to know.

There's who knows what this what this entailed. He said popping up every three seconds. I'm yeah I'm confused. I don't know what he's doing. We'll find out tomorrow. We'll have the world premiere of Stephen Chase swimming. We were looking up famous BW initials. Oh, we're all getting our famous initials. We got Goldstrode Whitlock. Now we got to James Whitlock who I believe we were like, that kind of looks like White Sex Dave. It does. Is he white? Where does he begin and end? I don't know, but I recall the feeling was like

when the guy was looking at the Monet in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yeah, yeah. Cameron. Cameron, thank you. Not really the guy, it's just one of the main characters, though, Cameron was really lost in that. Also, was it Monet or was it a Seurat?

I don't know again. Why was he a Redwings fan, Cameron? Good question. And it was a Seurat. Never made any sense. Didn't at all. He would have been a Blackhawks fan, surely, right? Wonder where they lived,

because they were out in the suburbs, right? He had many trees and woodlands around his home. That's right. Yeah, but it was like an elevated home. It was hilly. Very modern, and there's no hills here I guess well Matt North Shore you think he's willamette mm-hmm the Ferrari died a terrible death that day that's right how long you think it would take to do all the stuff they did in that movie

doesn't there actually wasn't a lot um so he went to they went to the museum went to a Cubs game participated in the the parade. I'm sorry parade on a weekday. I'm also was it the same as your state parade Because the Cubs wouldn't have been playing on st. Patrick's Day. Yeah, no It was that was the July prayer was a parade for it was super random Well, they went up the Sears Tower, right? Yeah do that couldn't have been 4th of July because that would have been summer So well, they went to a fancy restaurant. That's right. That looked like it was on a country club, didn't it? I think it looked like it was in a tall building, didn't it? The country club?

No, the fancy dinner. Dude, I don't think I've ever seen this movie. I've been wrong about everything. That is a lot of shit to do in one day, I guess. I think you could... I don't remember all of what he actually did. One of us should have to Ferris Bueller. Try to squeeze it all in.

Oh, the Von Steuben Day parade. Is that a real thing? Oh, you know what? We do have Plinko Day coming up. Throw in Ferris Bueller on it. I would not have fun. I would be exhausted. You wouldn't be able to do the Cubs game, though.

And you'd have to go get a 17-year-old girl out of school. What if you had to go uptown to Wrigley and watch a Cubs game on your laptop? Yeah, that counts. You can't move until. What about Art Institute? Go to Arizona for a game. Was he at the full, did he watch the entire game? Parade?

Yeah, they caught a foul ball in the fifth inning. And then, yeah, go to the- Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah. You let me fuck up that by saying the guy looking at him that day? Well, I mean, you had it so wrong. I didn't, if you the guy looking at a Monet? Well, I mean, you had it so wrong. I didn't.

If you said guy looking at a George Seurat, then I would have been OK. And maybe he was looking at a Monet. I can't remember. No, but it was. He was looking at a day in the park, wasn't he? Yep. Yes, yes, you know.

Have your fun. Yeah. One of our great pointillism painters. It could have been a Monet, but I highly doubt it. I have an actual Chicago question. The art museums we have here, are they worth going to for somebody who would never go to a museum in any other capacity?

The Institute was fucking crazy. I'll get enamored like that guy was? Yes. And there's way more famous paintings there than you would think there would be really they got the fucking the guy with the American yeah that guy's there. I see okay. I knew that one didn't realize it. Do you know art? Huh, you know art. No. I just said the same thing you said I was just copying you. Are you a fan of art? I mean he Yeah, it's fine. All I did was say the name of two very famous paintings.

You're thinking of Gay Art. He's a fan. Tiny Dick. Tiny Dick. Tiny Dick. You know what? One day, I'm going to get a friend who's big and strong. And when y'all make fun of him, he's going to whip every ass

in here. You have a big and strong friend, but he has a dick and a pussy. Yeah, I haven't gone back to him ever since I got the gym equipment in my house. Is he texting you? Yeah, he texted me last week. I said, I'll let you know. Something about having a gym in my house, I don't want to pay somebody for it anymore. That makes sense.

But I haven't debuted my gym yet either, so... You haven't used it? I've used it. I just haven't put it out there yet for public consumption. I haven't like showed people the gym yet. I Did a full full arms workout not not 48 hours ago, and I have another one scheduled for today, and I might do it Jinx gave it to me His body's rocking Yeah, he'd be doing some stuff. He does stuff that I think you would do.

Like he did a pinch press with his legs. I'm purely for vanity in the physical product. What's he doing? Wild stuff. Yeah, I did ask him for a workout the other day. I said, Jinx, give me a workout to do Wednesday. And he, Kyle, he sent me a notes app thing that was three scrolls down. Like the first initial that scroll again and scroll again. Like I'm, that's not happening

this year. It's a problem with those in shape dudes. They don't, they have a poor understanding of what I can do Which I guess this isn't that hard but but why even think of this Wow Yeah, I don't think you should do that brand Frank only gave him a 30 second break This is him trying to kill himself I Could see him doing one of those like retreat where you're in just a dark room by yourself for a week. He's the kind of guy that I think would do.

He puts himself in solitary? Yeah. Like extreme stuff. Frank's closet. Torture is big now. Yeah. That's a lot of former addicts. Yeah.

Once you experience the peak of life via pleasures and substances. Now torture yourself. You need to torture yourself. Yeah, speaking of. I'm not saying that's Janks, he's not that. Make sure you watch Barstool After Dark every Tuesday night.

Yeah, that's what it is. Because that's what it is, they're just torturing themselves in all manner. But Danny's had it the worst because he doesn't get to do anything. But Danny's also volunteering, why? Oh, are you? Well, at first, because Ryan, as long as he's on the IR, yeah.

So did you volunteer last week because he got hurt on our show and then it just stuck? Tate asked me and I accepted. Okay, all right. So you were the judge last night. The meat judge. Didn't love the name, but yeah. Minty gave it his all. I posted a clip of him puking in the Wilcox Museum.

He, and I quote, said, once in a lifetime puke. Eddie, I think he downed seven orders of fries. Yeah. Eddie and Mince both had triple doubles. Tate, whole chat's calling him one fry Tate. Wow. After about five hours, he only took down one fry. He had like 40 wings, but very bad look for the stats. And then three minutes left. So you puke once, you get an hour in the penalty box, can't help the team at all. Puked twice, automatically disqualified.

Three minutes left to go on the entire stream. Tate can't hold it in for three minutes. But not before Mincy snuck in his fifth fry of the night. Respect. In your long history of meat judging How does last night stack up? They got they ate all the wings drink all the pop did you make anybody go back to a bone? Oh my god the inaugural wing Eddie. I've never been more disrespected. He left half the meat on the bone I thought he just got a head start. Is this after?

He said he puked out literally everything he ate before So you're there seven hours you're there from 8 to 3 a.m.. 330. It was like seven hours and 21 minutes Who had so who had the most wings? Probably Tate, but Eddie or mince clearly one of the MVPs Tate. I'm sorry he did great, but it would be MVPs of a 45 wings well you decide we have to look at stats What I had to stand by that I had to make sure those wings were gone with my looming punishment on the treadmill What does that mean like I knew what the punishment? Oh, why did the wire the wings?

So for every wing that was left he had to run a mile or come oh, so it was every item So I think they finished the wings there. Oh there were more. They were left with 11 fries Oh, yeah, I do 11 miles, so it's a lot easier to down one wing than one serving of fries Yeah, that's why he was why he was going after the wings. It was the fact, like, everyone would have loved to just stick with wings, right? That's the easiest. And then Eddie and Mince collectively had put down, like, 10 orders in the first three hours. And we look over and Tate just getting his first fry of the night.

Well, Mince also made sure yesterday he made special orders. He said, give me teriyaki wings, give me sweet potato fries, and within seconds said, I can't eat, I'm not eating the teriyaki wings, I'm not eating the sweet potato fries, that's crazy. We had, I tried a sweet potato fry after Mince had decided to go back to McDonald's fries. Dowged in honey, dowged in sugar, couldn't have been an harder They were dow'd yes, I don't know That's how much it was yes, you had to make up a word and mincy

Specifically asked for all right. Yeah You're aware that you just made up a word word What's that word? I could also mean drenched down down down Or doused right I mean very similar to very smothered. Yeah, yeah extra doused homophones What we're saying you fucking fool That's the word now, but if we could pull up Mints and Eddie's numbers, I thought it was brutal too. They said the food came two hours before they started That's a bad guy. I'm like old fries cold whatever that's tough because the longer fries sit Mm-hmm. Yeah controversy right at the gate. Yeah

How like how was the effects? Eddie surprise he's here today That seems really really hard to me What was the effects? Eddie, surprise he's here today. That seems really, really hard to me. Yeah, Mincy took down 11 sodas, which was impressive. You just have to feel like pure shit afterwards. They all did. Like what was the average calorie, like how many calories did Mincy have?

Towards the end, I remember Lucas saying, congrats, you've all hit 20,000 together. Each? Oh, oh God, okay. I'm gonna say that's the best thing that. Mincey have towards the end I remember Lucas saying congrats you've all hit a twenty thousand. To eat. Oh god okay. Yeah that's still almost seven a piece. That's a that's a lot of reversible damage. And there are medium

orders of fries not small okay. God damn. Well can't see can't wait to see what's on the docket for next Tuesday. Run it back. He almost needs to go back and forth eating health challenge for his own sanity. It's actually kind of funny. Yeah, just staying the same weight. Working so fucking hard.

So he sheds it next Tuesday and he puts it back on. Who's gonna be the next host? Is this unsustainable? Yeah. Once Tate dies. I guess after this dating show Kate will have to have her redemption so Kate you'll need to do it? Yeah. I just think it should go to somebody that I don't know how should we give this? Who's the... you? No not me. White boy Rick for some reason? Yeah, I could see that.

I think it should be more like emotional challenges, like singing. Yeah? Alright, you want the final numbers? Singing in public. Yes, please. Alright, mincey. 37 wings, 5 orders of medium fries 11 sodas sure eddie Oh there we go

Whose torso is that? Eddie 30. Let's lose weight. Yeah, that's the best photo. He's ever taken. Yeah, he's gone Wait, he looks great He puked and came out a new man and he's drinking a ghost. Is that puke on a shirt? Yes Okay, oh Eddie 30 wings seven orders of fries 10 sodas respectable Jesus Tate

Tate 45 wings three orders of fries five sodas All sounds like pure hell it looked like pure hell too that's worse than us having to lose the weight I think we were there we were there for what four hours binge eating without an appetite is war yeah Tate said Tate said the weight one was still the worst one by far really yeah god. Kudos to Nick and KB. I guess. What cameo role did Louis Anderson have in Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Are you referring to Louis Anderson's cameo role in Coming to America as the fry maker? No, no, no.

I'm not sure that Louis Anderson had a cameo role in... You don't think he delivered flowers in Ferris Bueller's day off did he deliver flowers shit? I haven't seen it in a while now I am I know okay know the movie you're fallible very well. You're fallible. I Never claimed to be anything, but I but you're sure Louie Anderson had a role of oh you're looking at the Wikipedia now Do a naked bet? Speaking of, Ty just opted in today. I need to know right now. I opted in yesterday.

You just didn't believe me. Sure, but you locked it in this morning when I was like, really? Do you want to go? Kind of. No, see, I need to know for the Milwaukee admirals. Okay, sure. All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, got it. I used to fucking love her. I heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever, and a chill.

I came to help restore your plus. I see him, I see him, he's right there. I just realized if Barstow were around in 1986,ie Anderson would have got to start with us, right? What has he done? What does that mean? Yeah. He's just a fat guy. Fat man. I'm just calling him fat. He had a distinct voice, right? He probably still does. He's with us, right?

No, he's not with us. He's very much not with us. He had a distinct voice. Oh, he was handsome. What? Oh, he wasn't? Back in the day? This is the... Yep, alright. At no point was that man handsome.

I don't think he's ever been handsome. Looks like Hoggish Greedley. He looks like Hoggish Greedley. I'm just saying, for him... He's handsome for him. That's what I'm saying. That's the cartoon I remember. You hand out handsome too easy.

Yeah. I think a lot of people are, yes I guess I do. I think a lot of people are handsome. What guys in the office aren't handsome? I mean I have a list for that. First you know, everybody's very handsome. No, no we're not. There's this.

Harry Bogle. Yeah. Who the fuck that is. Who the the fuck that is he let me borrow his car this morning great guy yeah nice man just got a dog from pause oh that's right he did an old dog at that right yes Spyro half shepherd half husky good guy great co-worker I mean me and Mence are not handsome. Neither of us are handsome. Brandon you throw a catchable ball. Yeah. Tall, blonde, still have your hair. Yeah. Mostly Mence though. Mence isn't handsome. We call him White Sox Dave Handsome? Yeah. Yes. Can be. He is now. Ruggedly.

But I would say pre-hair. Oh. Bald. The beard. bald with the beard. Yeah, but you've hooked up with him. That was something. Yeah, you're not allowed. Summer camp doesn't count. You have to make sure he's not. For the record, I never hooked up with him. That was nothing. Or was it?

There it is. Who is the ugliest guy we have? It's pre-weight loss TJ. No! Terrible looking. Terrible looking. TJ has always been handsome. No, he hasn't, Kate.

Stop. Stop doing what you're doing. TJ was terrible looking. He's right behind us, man. It's so. I mean, fuck. He said that immediately. You've been waiting for that question for years.

He's just been waiting. We were passing. He was like, who could it be? TJ, step in here and well and do what? You know what he's right Crying on the mic that's you talk about that's a lot of his best memories are from that era A lot of his only memories are now used to he's making new memories now. He's making handsome memories Tjd ever dream that you look at your big

Like are you saying when I have a dream yeah look down and I have a dream Dream about all the time Were you consciously thinking this the whole time who's like four years ago on the yeah, let's embrace every time Yeah, this is a mother fucker. I had a lot of pleasant interactions He credits you to like a lot of his success. He should I brought this ugly ass kid Omaha. Oh, he almost ruined the trip. You were in Omaha, too Who's ugly ugly ass kid to Omaha. Ah, he almost ruined the trip. You were in Omaha too. Who's ugly? Come on man, we're done.

Oh, oh, I thought we were still going. Still going. Is there anybody that's like shocking? Yo. I don't think we got any head turners. I think Chief is like pretty boy handsome. Yeah, Hank doesn't have a shin. You can see him playing soccer with a handsome head.

That's ironic. Titus, you're a best. Yeah, you're number one. Donnie is. Oh, Donnie. Both Donnie's are very handsome. Both Donnie's. Both Donnie's.

I think Big Cat's handsome. Kyle, you're hot not handsome. Hot not handsome. What? Thank you. Danny, you're like Chicago guy handsome. Yeah, Danny, you're- Oh, fuck!

That's way worse than anything I said! I didn't say Pittsburgh handsome, I said Chicago! Oh, no! I wish I was PJ right now. Zos, you're handsome, I said Chicago. Oh no. I wish I was PJ right now. Zah, I'll say you're handsome to check a box. Got the mustache? Stephen Che's good looking too.

Yes, he is. Alright. Do we want to move on now? Yeah. Lot of ugly guys. I don't know why we're pretending we don't have a lot of ugly guys. I think KFC is handsome It's an ugly. That's easy. The average person is attractive

By definition they should be right here. Just no just in general the the average No, the average human being you feel like they should be attractive. That's what keeps the human race Going right I think there's more ugly people That's what keeps the human race Going right. I think there's more ugly people The average woman say first and last name will look them up and see if they're handsome. Oh, if they're not handsome you're out Okay, I'm gonna go with Keith Mitchell

Okay, I played for the brave second base in the early 90s. Oh, yeah. He wasn't great-looking. Oh shit Damn oh He wasn't great looking. Oh shit. Damn it. Oh. Kate? I think most guys are in that category. Yeah. He's not ugly. He's not, I don't know.

You could tuck yourself into him. Yeah. Maybe he's more handsome than ugly. Yeah. I think he turns towards ugly. I'll say this. Really? If he wasn't an athlete, he would be ugly.

Full body shot. Ugly's harsh. He's a golfer, not an athlete. I mean, his hatfer I mean his hat is ugly, but doesn't help ugly's harsh Look at him. No this guy's kind of hot. He's not hot. He's not He's got other stuff that makes him. He's got money money. Yeah What I think if you're a professional golfer, even just the entry point to be able to do it is you've got money. He has to count as

handsome. All right, right. He's at least not ugly. Give me was that can you go back three slides? Let's just see who gets the ugliest. Give me a Steve Westinghouse. Oh, that doesn't count. He's gonna be perfect. That's a like Steve Westinghouse oh that doesn't count he's he's gonna be perfect that's a good one Steve Westinghouse I've already get one in your mind why are we going man we don't want to okay yeah probably two minutes all women are beautiful well now he's old see that's that's first picture Steve gets on Steve Steve Trich that's Steve Siemen we had like a month of the Yak that was just about Steve's scene.

Steve's. Oh, a knife. Nice looking blade. Great knife. The Steve Kelly custom light speed folding knife. I guess it's not a guy. Oh, maybe I invented a name. Bill Winchester.

Oh, this could be a cowboy. Bill Winchester. This could be a cowboy. This could be a cowboy. Could be Billy Winchester. I don't know. Kyle, I want you to say a name, but he has to be Asian. Okay. These are just guns. With Bill Winchester.

That's Bill Winchester. How to raise a dangerously good man I'm curious he looks dangerous he looks like he's ugly I mean he's got the I'll say it he's got that like Russian type face small forehead yeah he's fuckable though we'll see and a pinch I guess depends let's see the body yeah and if there's some sort of dick shortage all of our peers were still they They don't know how to frame...

They don't know how to frame shots. They don't care. ...in a weird spot where there wasn't a lot of... There's a dour look to him. He's always mad. Yeah, not ugly though. Yeah, most guys aren't ugly. I might join men of attraction.

If I was like a woman in the pool, I would be like, yeah, that's not for me That's ugly, but for me no Chicago, I think you're right most people are not bad-looking yeah most are most are we don't we don't get to see them We're not amongst them their lower income their fat and they are medically impaired large percentage of this country You think of all the olds too. Old is automatically ugly. Not always. I like a silver fox.

You like every fucking thing. Who's your guy, Kyle? Guy Tabatha. You think there's one? I can see him being off the grid. How are you so good at thinking the names, man? It was pretty good. Damn, yeah, I kind of locked in there.

It's one of your best moments. Guy Tabitha. Trader Joe's Guy Tabitha? trader Joe I tab at the you got to put it in quotes to really solidify it as one tab of the guy tab with ok chance I think anytime you put a guy in there is just going to be random a guy you chose a pretty common noun for a first name. No guy Tabitha Is Tabitha a last name?

Anything can be a last name. So many things Are last names. Yeah, you think every noun has a last name? I think so. Like common noun? Yeah, I think it's so funny when it's like a really common the more boring the noun the funny the funny or the last name Is maybe not will barrow but most nouns have have last names like car David David chair Will Barrow is probably name though. There's a good name will Barrow. There's a chair out there. There's like a John chair Danny he did you have a name? Gus Murphy. You're fucked. It's like a pretty ugly slumber.

He's a good looking Gus. Murphy's a hot last name. Murphy's hot but Gus is. He's gonna go by Murph. Yeah Murph Dog. Murph Dog. He's a writer? Just careful with those tattoos not ugly. Well, you can't even see him Da Vinci Jeremy

Try that Try that yeah Wait oh, that's a guy that said to buy Bitcoin. Yeah, he was the first in on it can Funny name hey, did you know that was yeah, okay? So was Guy Tabitha somebody no okay? Brian Peppers I Remember him. Yeah, he's he He is the ugly guy. He's the ugly duckling. He can't be with us anymore.

Who is he? What? Oh, yeah. He was a good... Yeah, he was an OG meme. One of the first. What's up? Hey, look, Brian. Where are those?

My wife made me spicy crackers for when I get home. What are spicy crackers? Spicy crackers? That was a tray of wet saltines. Oh, it's spicy crackers. Extra salt. That's a tray of wet saltines. Oh, they're spicy crackers.

Y'all don't have spicy crackers? You ever do the saltines? My mom made me oyster crackers. You pour the melted butter on it and then you put the melted chocolate on it and then you put it in the fridge and you break it up. No, I do spicy crackers. I used to eat got dire. What are spicy crackers them right there? They're so good. They have the little oil and stuff on them. What I've made some spicy not that not that spicy It's ranch dressing mix. Yes, so good pepper flakes. You can also do it. It's like oyster cracker. You can do with oyster cracker

Yeah, those were my favorite. Yeah, I fucking love them Can't wait to get home now See all the crackers at my house. Do you bake them? I don't she does marinate them. She does So one more time two tickets or not. No, I knew it. No, I brand it's a long Oh, I knew it. I knew it. I have a Vacation next week and I can't afford to... To go to Milwaukee on Friday? And stay the night up there?

Nobody said you had to stay the night. Why would you need to stay the night? We'll be done by 9 o'clock. You'll be home by 11. Alright. No, I don't want you to go now. But I know my true friends. Yeah. Mark Titus is going. Are you? I actually am, yeah. Fuck, hold on. I'll be there. Oh, you're not going now

I'm not I'm gonna buy my own tick how much are they I? I'm huh I remain firm, and I will not buy my own tickets. I know but I will go I've already procured your ticket all right All right, so looks like I like you a lot, but not enough looks like it's more of a mostly sports trip than a yak trip No, what kind of what kind of seats to get mark? Oh, we're on the glass. I think oh my god. I don't know if we are not. I just said that a collection of your rivals were saying you're not going to do the zesty drop. Did they? Yeah. So you have to. Alright. Well, you have to do it Brandon. If if it shuts up my collection of rivals and I I would do the

zesty. Why won't you because it's a zesty drop in front of at least 300 people. 500 people, 1,000 people. I don't know how many people are in this game. 2,000? 28,000? With a glass? What if I fall doing the zesty drop on the ice, too? Do you ever think about that?

You're a, what's the best case scenario? I just go out there and drop the puck and everybody cheers. It's a chill day. Yeah. If you fall, you should have a plan. If you go down you should start spinning in a loop and going whoo. Yeah like I was doing it like do an ice angel. You should have a plan. Or do the like don't fall yet but make it seem like you're gonna do the Willy Wonka. So I fall into a tumble. Not a whole lot of puck drops out there to learn from but Micah Parsons did it for the Hershey

Bears yeah, they didn't tell him they tell him what to do and He just went out there and just threw it down before any anybody He just like walked out the end of the carpet threw it down and tried to leave oh nobody was the other the players We're ready. Yeah face off. He's thought you just want me to drop the puck? And he just went out there, dropped it, and turned around. Oh, there we go. Jack McCarthy's ugly. You think so? Yeah, ugly as hell.

No, he's got great hair. He certainly does have great hair. He's got a nice face. Is sitting on the glass as desirable as it appears on TV? I don't think it is. The best it's not, the best ones are like elevated in the middle. Yeah. And I think glass is cool to do this,

but if they're on the other end, you can't see shit. Yeah. But I've never sat on a glass, so I want to sit on a glass. Okay. But you could sit on the glass at mid-ice, maybe. Is that the? Yeah, but I don't think that, is that good? Because they're not going to swing by,

you're not going to be able to pat the glass as much. Also, the benches are there too, on one side, and the penalty box is on the other. Oh yeah, so they don't think that is that good because they're not gonna swing by you're not gonna be able to pat the glass as much Also, the benches are there too on one side the penalty boxes on the other. Oh Yeah, so they don't really although I would like to be about the penalty box be like haha. Fuck you Yeah, you may you did something bad or if you have huge cans That's good for the glass. That's really good big titties. Just mash them up against the glass Have you decided on a final outfit yet? Are you wearing the pants? I think I'm going to go, no, I haven't decided on the outfit.

You have to go pants. Think I'm going pants? I was just going to go barstool hoodie. Why are you afraid to be funny for this? Yeah. Why do I have to be funny? I don't want to be the try-hard guy. It's like, look at me.

Who's the NFL player that brought the picture of his grandmother on stage when he got drafted. Oh, by the Falcons. UCLA. I'm getting close. It has an A in it. Tack, Tack, Tack, Tack McKinley.

Bring this out with you. Oh. You want me to get all the players to sign it yeah all right so marks going and you're not oh my god okay and TJ also wants to go what's the restaurant supposed to go to? Maiters German food okay pork shank sauerkraut y'all like sauerkraut? Tolerate it. Love. I fucking love it. Love.

That's what gets me. Anybody loving sauerkraut? Love it compared to what? Other krauts? I don't know any other krauts. You love it compared to... I think it's a top 10. ...an average side dish at a restaurant. Yeah.

Above. I do. It on mashed potatoes is the best. You love the mashed potatoes. No, I love the kraut I I used to my meal at home was I would make sauerkraut and cut up a little weenies Sauerkraut and weenies and that was a meal for me, and I liked it I like I like kraut sauerkraut on a hot dog

Yeah, I like it on a hot dog. Would you say you like it more as a topping as opposed to a side? I it can be the base It's really good. I love sour the the, the distress, the internal distress you get is bad. So I thought that was good for you. It is. It has a thing. It's a healthy for your gut. Very. Yeah. Is it clear you out? I don't mean to be stupid. Is it cabbage? Cabbage.

I think it's cabbage. It's like fermented cabbage. No. Did you have it on New Year's Day for good luck? No, we had blackout peas and we had blackout peas for good luck. We did. Yeah. Yeah. You had kraut for good luck? No, we have black-out peas and we had black-out peas for good luck We did. Yeah. Yeah, you're out for good. Yeah, you got out. Yeah, we have black-out wooden pork and greens, too Sour cabbage it's finally cut raw cabbage has been fermented by lactic acid. Oh, you put it like that. It's good for that Oh, you put it like that. It's good for that. All right.

Oh, yeah. There you go. Kate, how are you? I guess I can do a man. Hot dogs have me thinking. About what? The wiener circle here. You know that hot dog place where they're mean to you?

Yeah. Every Tuesday and Thursday nights, they're doing bad bitch bingo. Like a ladies only hot dog night. And then they, I don't know what this means But it's like it's like with a pussy pinch. We find the fattest pussy I was like I feel like I got to go investigate the pussy pinch. I don't know I got You should go to that of it. I find the fattest pussy get the chocolate milkshake

I know you're there. I saw it on social media today Women only bingo bad bitch bingo the wiener circle with a I'm getting this wrong It's a hot dog place. It's trying to find the fattest pussy y'all know what time it is ladies come show off them pastrami butterflies Oh, I'm gonna throw up everywhere Oh the fat coochie something that we do BBB bad bitch bingo and FCC every Tuesday and Thursday And what's FCC was like, Fat Coochie something.

We don't know. I don't. You're the one looking it up. Fat Coochie Club. Chicago, so if you're not coming down to the Wiener Circle tonight for Bad Bitch Bingo, you motherfuckers are missing out. And ladies, directly after Bad Bitch Bingo,

we are hosting the Fat Coochie contest. Yeah. Come show off your pastrami butterfly. OK. I saw that this morning. And I was like tonight and I looked at it was from 17 hours before whatever. Now I'm gonna go investigate.

Investigate? Are you trying to win? You're gonna come home looking like Michael Phelps with these medals. I don't know. I'm right. Yeah, I missed it. I don't know. Sorry, hot dogs made me think of that. I mean that didn't even like leave it open to I

Don't know what that mean. I don't know what it means You know I think you can put it together what fat contest means But do you wear leggings then and they like yeah, I think you measure how big you're doing outline I don't think you're just showing your your fat coochie. I don't know how they send oldie I don't think you're just showing your your fat coochie. I don't know how they send oldie He honestly he probably might win he might be the Canadian the reigning Canadian national champ Fat coochie they could be showing actual cooch. You know like you asked for a chocolate milkshake there And they should be it's right big black women flashes. I don't think I know about this I I didn't know that I thought you were just like purposely mean to you Where is this do that? It's up my Wrigley. Yeah, there's one by Wrigley. Yeah

Yeah, we went for rediscovering and it was uh, yeah, they were mean. They're real mean That's cool. I went there by myself once and I was like, so why would you go? Just experience. It's like why do people go to that dick's hat place? Yeah This is it Yeah, this is it? Let me see. Yeah, this looks like my speed. Let me see. Let me see that coochie.

They don't want to. Judging on aroma and aftertaste. Come on, motherfuckers. Let's go. Oh, they're legit. Let me see. What? So they all came, but none of them want to.

Everybody is disqualified from the street. Oh, wait. Let me see them. What? No, no, no, no, no. Oh god. Okay, yeah, I'll go. I'll go. Tell you guys what it's all about. Yeah, I was.

Trying to expand my horizons. You got a show. It's our crowd. I think working at a place like that or Dick's Last Resort would suck. Yeah. It would be hell, like hour seven. Just like, what do you got? They have pre-written shit, right?

They just, they don't give you actual mean stuff. That would be hell like our seven Just like what do you got they have pre written shit, right? They just they don't give you actual mean stuff That was hiring. I would kind of bring it you'd be good at it. I think I like it good at it At least I'd give it a good old college try. It's got hours of insulting Like personalized in there have to be there have to be rules There have to be things that are off limits. Like if you're management, you can't just let every one of your employees lose. Right?

Let's be respectful to people in wheelchairs and stuff. Yeah. I do like how they'll call out people who are bad at ordering though. They're just saying what you want to say. But what if you don't know how to, what if it's your first time? Yeah.

I mean, you just look at the menu like any other restaurant and be like, does it come with this? Can I add that, but change this out, and just let you have the business? A shocking percentage of people struggle with ordering. Yep. Or they make it difficult. It's simple.

I think it'd be great if you did have the same rotation of jokes. A laugh is a laugh, and you're always getting different people. So you're guaranteed. I have the same little jokes I use with cashiers and stuff all the time and I never get. What's your cashier joke? Like if I'm buying a bunch of junk food I'm like bulking up for winter. It's like dumb

shit like that and I get a little giggle every time and I enjoy that. Where are you going? I'll make a joke about whatever I'm buying. And try and snaz the interaction up a little bit. But I have the same Rolodex. Or if I'm ordering my coffee and I mess up, I'm like, that's why I need the coffee. Do you find that people generally dread their interaction? Yes, probably.

Sauerkraut. What's that ad all about? You're gonna be like the best like old creepy neighbor once you get older. Like this girl, there's gonna be like legends about you in the neighborhood. I hope so. I hope I'm in those neighborhoods.

I hate that. She used to spy on her naked neighbor in the shower. Oh. There is this hairdresser, oh, I'll shut up now. Well. I've been following this hairdresser in an old folks home and she has like colorful hair

but she does the old lady's hair and she keeps the door open and there's always this old lady that walks by every day and just shits on her for having, she walks by and she's like tacky, hair, blah, blah, blah. Man, being old is probably so free. And the lady, the hairdresser like loves it.

She's like, here comes Dottie. She's gonna call me a bitch again and Todd's like, you're a bitch. And it's really cute. And Dottie just starts passing out hammers just yep. New Amsterdam vodka this episode is brought to you by New Amsterdam vodka the official vodka of Barstool Sports whether your team just won the game your buddy got promoted or you're having an amazing day you can celebrate your wins with New Amsterdam vodka whether that's with juice with soda or a classic New Amsterdam mule.

You can't go wrong. It's also super affordable. This quality literally cannot be beat for the price. So go scoop some up at your local liquor store today. It's my vodka of choice when I'm making my drinks for the weekend or maybe before the yak. Find your wins with new Amsterdam vodka hmm are you a Johnny Cash guy not really yeah I was until I saw that picture of

him leaning on the tree with the tall boots I'm not a big old country guy like anything before like mid 80s I just never really got into Johnny Cash or any other surprising he's one of those guys I know it's his birthday today by the way oh you got arrested in Starkville, Mississippi one time for picking flowers. He's cool as fuck, that guy. That's a cool picture. Yeah, that picture.

Whoa. Bye-bye boots? How have I never seen this? Yeah. Ooh. Are those Equestrian boots? A weak jaw. He was skinnier than I thought.

Yeah. I pictured him as like a big man. Not a lot of ass, either. He almost got taken out by an ostrich. Really? Ripped his stomach apart. Open. Oh, god.

Yeah. Where? He was living in his place in Tennessee. It was a cold day, about 0 degrees Fahrenheit. Damn, that's cold. Celsius. One of the ostriches froze to death in the middle of the night and the mate Waldo

got pissed and just attacked Johnny broke six of his ribs nearly killed him that day he was not happy to see me damn that's crazy it's crazy we know else almost died who today oh Mike yeah security Mike I didn't want it was that on his latest neck yeah I don't watch it I saw that he did one but what pull that up I guess finally ready to show us an actual bite of food

and then it went terribly wrong. Really? Mm-hmm. He choked. He choked, yeah. On camera or he talked about choking? He choked on sesame chicken and fried rice. Okay.

Disaster, that's why he shouldn't eat. That's a bitch thing to choke on though while making a tick-tock Yeah, you can't go out like that Time really story time this morning about 7 a.m. I was gonna do a snack time where I actually ate the food Um, it was sesame chicken pork fried rice was left over from last night. I Started to eat it and I started to choke. I couldn't breathe for real. It was no joke I stuck my fingers down my own throat save my own life Like the true hero that I am I puked in the toilet

It was really scary. I thought I was going out of the picture, but you know that's what heroes do They save other lives sometimes they save their own life, but the moral of story is in future snacks times I'll never eat that's a good snack time that was a good snack time he he really went from 0 to 60 in a hurry in that car I never thought about just using your own finger to propel the food down your esophagus or did he know I think made himself throw it right back out the vomit would push it out just push it down I've never done it the fags himself the first day I moved into my like I had no roommates solo apartment my mom just sent me a YouTube of like how to give yourself CPR over

the back of a chair she was very worried about that she said no steak mom no fucking 25 that is a worst nightmare though yeah choking up that's sad too yeah it is we are on did he film it is that footage available him yeah he was doing a snack time can't you can't stop that recording choke didn't want to carry is not saving a life he didn't want to he's too it's too good for that dice dice man we found out something about him and a couple of our security guys in New Orleans. He was a horse cop Yeah, I wanted the what he was a horse in what city in New York City in Central Park I'm gonna have those was it Jordan. Yes, it was Jordan and and Mike for years were horseback cops

What was his horse? I never understood those what what's they would run people over? Why yeah, they told us I don't remember in the stories what's the function of the horse I never understood either we asked what can the horse do that you know what that the car or your own feet so I think it's just a vestige of back when horses were the only thing they had and for some reason has lasted throughout the years but probably nothing I guess park that park there's like some terrain. I guess you could get pretty quickly across it, since you can't drive through it, really.

Traversing terrain. Yeah, he did tell us, too. One of the names was Adam, and the other one was a horse name. One was normal, and one was like, pick something. And he dragged a guy while he was on the horses. The purpose is community engagement. People do love, I've been at drunk drunk parades and everybody fucking loves the horses. Yeah

I think they're intimidating. I do to row cops on a horse. I am terrified. Yeah Have any of you ever ridden? Yeah, we did in two or Arizona and Tucson and it's it's kind of sucks Yeah, when it bucks you mm-hmm Oh, they were like we didn't get bucked. No, that's it Like two miles an hour Yeah, it was it was pleasant fine. It is crazy that they just like let anybody on a yeah I can horse and they could decide to kill you like what if it gets stung by a bee and you're on it what? That's what you're worried about it gets something baby, and it takes off and you're you know what I mean

What if it gets spooked while you're on it? You're just like a dumb tourist yeah, you're you see as the rider It's your job to calm them down. Just bring it back to reality It's pretty badass that we we figured out a way to ride them though Yeah, they didn't figure out a way to ride us first. Yeah, it's pretty badass Somewhere along the line Some human was like you know what? We're jump on that ride away. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I wonder if there was trial and error with other animals Yeah, they had to have tried cows like tigers

Like it was something. I don't know Somebody tried to ride a lion at some point. Yeah, it probably didn't go well killed a lot of squirrels bears how many what animals are rideable camels elephant elephant mule mule yeah could you ride one? if a snake was big could you like lay flat? so if the snake got up to like skeleton was this far around and it was off the ground enough where you could

I don't think so does the way it's body move it would just slide right out from under you I think it would slide right off there would be a snake saddle obviously it would hit you immediately. But it doesn't have the mind power to go anywhere that you want it to go. You'd have to skateboard on it. Oh, what about if turtles were big enough?

Because they got shells, just put a chair on top of the shell. That would be boring speed. Dolphins, we would kind of ride them. Hold on to the Slow. Yeah. Pretty slow. Dolphins, we would kind of ride them. Hold on to the fin. Yeah. All right, okay, all right. Reindeer.

We just ride behind them, we don't ride on them. That would be dangerous with the horns. The horns and whatnot. A deer would be a good animal to ride on. Female deer. I think, did people do bison? That would be badass. A moose. A moose is so tall. Central Park moose. How doison That would be badass a moose

Moose is so tall park moose. How do you get on top of a moose? Oh, what's your favorite animal? I'm you know me birds the macaws the The multicolored birds, I think they're so beautiful would you ever get one No beautiful. Would you ever get one? No. Um, do you like the like the little ones brand? I wouldn't like one as a pet. Yeah, that how is that? It's been really good. We're coming up on a year and my my my wife sneaky loves them. Yeah, I'll get home and she will have she's now put artificial trees in our in our bedroom and the door will be shut and I'll be like, what's

going on? I open and they've be shut and I'll be like what's going on I open and They've just they're in this in the trees. She's letting them get out and Do they show even like a semblance of affection for her? Birds are pretty smart right or her they do for me. They don't they they won't do it for me But she can stick her if I stick my hand in there they they look the other way if she sticks her hand in there They jump right on that's pretty cool. I Need some campaign campaign what's your favorite animal duck yeah mallard duck

giraffe drafts well we went to the zoo we just didn't want look at any other our time at the zoo yeah it did we went to the zoo watched one animal just a giraffe yeah they're the most unique animal in my opinion all right well octopus yeah octopus is like unlike Yeah. They're the most unique animal in my opinion. I agree, well, octopus. Yeah.

Octopus is unlike anything ever created on this earth. Squid. My octopus teacher or whatever that movie was. I don't think I've ever cried harder. Crazy movie. I don't, I'm like sobbing at the end. Guy just let it die. Well he had to, it was the cycle of life.

He tried his best. No. Spoiler. Well he had to. It was the cycle of life. He tried his best. Spoiler. I disagree. Are y'all talking about Free Willy? No, it's a documentary. This guy got depressed and he started going into the sea every day and he befriended an octopus.

And octopus are really smart and they were like legit buddies. Yeah, they were legit buddies and then the fucking octopus gets attacked and the guy's just like, I can't intervene cause this is nature. You're fucking nature. You're a human being. You are a flesh and blood.

You yourself are nature. Why did he let the octopus die? Well, dude. And protect the octopus. He was doing the right thing. No he wasn't. He was a good man. He was trying his best to do the right thing.

If I was an octopus octopus I'd be pissed as hell at this man. Yeah. Like I became your friend. And you just let me die? You're making money off my back? I think she understood. It was a she? I can't even get eye contact. Yeah. Octopus are cool. Fucked up man. Yeah it's super fucked up. I like elephants they're my favorite. Yeah. Elephant guy I love a baby elephant sneeze video smart They use their trunk for various things. Yeah, I don't know if you knew that it's a little elephant fact for you Wow trunk what they call the thing on their face. Yep. That's right. All right. Yeah And they're just playful they're just goofy little creatures got a hell of a memory

They could be the big boys are also goofy. They are goofy. We haven't had an elephant rampage in a while. I don't know, have we? Back in the 90s, we had an elephant rampage about once every two years. One gets out of the circus and just kills people. Oh, a circus. Yeah, I mean, I'm on their side in that one.

I'm fine with it. I'm just saying we haven't had one in a while. A couple years ago, Elephant killed a lady and then showed back up at her funeral. I'm like, stop. Yeah, fucked up her casket, right? Fucked up the casket so there's that's a You almost got a side with him if she's that bad Kyle were been good fellows

We have school canceled when a bunch of animals escape. Yeah, it was the wild zoo outside of Zanesville Was a guy yeah, that's right. That was crazy remember that I remember it well. Yeah, yeah Columbus It was a massive story., all over the interstate felt like dominated the local news Was it the wilds or it was a collector's a personal personal? Well, yeah, the cops had to go hunt them all down they just killed all killed every single one what kind of animals bears tigers Lions and wolves. Oh, it was no hyzer was it? Hey, oh, no, it was a guy's it was like his own personal. Oh, it wasn't Ohaizu, was it the one? Oh my. Heyo. No, it was a guy's, it was like his own personal, yeah, like his collection.

And like, they were like, don't go outside cause there's fucking tigers. Sure, Matt Lutz. It's Jumanji out there. 17 lions, 18 Bengal tigers. Jesus. 18 Bengal tigers. That's a lot of Bengal tigers, man. How the, the guy, did he kill himself

and let them all out? Was it intentional? Or did he kill himself? Where did he keep? Was it intentional? Did he kill himself? Where did he keep all these animals? I think we've done this. Yeah, we have. Yeah. Three leopards, one grizzly bear, and two monkeys.

We have like four total stories. Yeah, just circling around. This is a good one. Let's show them that fat old guy again that you bought the painting of. What was his name? It was Bolstrode's son. His dad, right?

Bolstrode Whitelock. Whitelock. Or was his dad, wasster road white white lock white lock was a standard was ever white lock James James white lock If you're a cop who loves to hunt but you can't afford to like travel the world hunting people That's why the best-case scenario. Oh, yeah Oh, it's a kill like I get to go into my local forests and kill 44 fucking Oh, yeah, oh you to kill like I get to go into my local forest and kill 44 fucking Guy get a like all of them. I don't know been waiting for this moment my whole life Yeah, as a cop who loves to hunt yeah Did they have to kill him?

Was there just so many there's always weird rules about I don't have to kill this animal. Yeah, almost certainly we never do it's like when there's a there there's some sort of glitch in the power or the supply chain, they're like, well, we didn't have room for these 400,000 chickens, so we have to kill them all. Yeah. We could have found room for them, probably. But cops are, you know.

Cold to herd, right? Yeah. So the thing, you kill a bunch of animals to help the animals? To help them live. Yeah. It was weird, because the other day I was like, I saw some cops in the wild. I saw them at breakfast over there at the breakfast club.

There was three of them. They were on the SWAT team. And yeah, I bought them breakfast. You bought the cops breakfast? Yeah. I didn't want to tell you guys that, but I saw three cops in the wild having breakfast, so I paid for their breakfast.

Did you tell them that you bought it? No, I did You did it for the good and now nobody will ever know I did And I and I whispered to the waiter. I said hey those guys over there. I gave her I don't know. I'm not saying the nomination of the bill, but it was a hundred How do you know they weren't strippers and I cuz they were legit. I actually thought swat was kind of a thing for TV I didn't think but they were like they were head to toe in their fatigues and they had swat on there and breakfast and they were the three or chiseled jaws square jaws just good-looking dudes just fucking dudes man I'm like I'm gonna pay for their breakfast

hoping that happens a little bit you know it's just not, you know, I'm sure somebody else would have done it if I hadn't done it first, but I did do it first. Yeah, I mean the restaurant usually gives it for free. I bought their breakfast. Has a dude ever given up first class for a troop to you? No.

No, shockingly no. You wouldn't do it though. Probably not, it would kill me. What job is the most badass to you, Brandon, that would garner the most respect to you. Specialized cop like that is way up there. First of all, thanks to all the police officers, but when you're like the elite of the elite police, that's something special. Probably that, or I don't know, Major League shortstop?

Yeah, shortstop. Yeahstop you gotta buy there you gotta buy their breakfast I was gonna buy breakfast for the SWAT guys but God damn it Dan to be Swanson walked in you guys understand it's dance me Swanson it was a fleet week in New York City it was always fun going out to the bars and buying drinks for like because they're wearing their Navy they're all whites and all that stuff that's always fun I like that challenge buying short stops breakfast see who can be the next one to buy short stop breakfast is that be a current Major League short stop or just one that used

to be short stop MLB shortstop of any era all right so see Ozzy Gian you gotta buy him breakfast all right so I bought Danesby Swanson breakfast who's next oh you did this reality I just bought police officers just police And they did leave me up leave me a swat patch so the next morning when I went in there They said here they said give this to you wait what how did? They know you bought once I don't know how did you think it hold on so you think you let it Once I, no, no, no, no, no. How did, hold on. So you think. You let it be known.

Here's what happened. Nope, nope, nope. Here's what happened, here's what happened. I whispered to the waiter, hey, hey, I want to take care of those guys over there. Brandon Walker. And so after I left, they were still there, and I think the guy told them,

oh, the gentleman over there said to pay for meal and so they came back to one of the guys recognized Brandon Walker from Barstool because that would you not really knows your dad. Yeah. So yeah. And and so they found out, the waiter told them, this guy, and they knew it was Brandon Walker from Barstool and then there's a whole big thing so now I have a big Swat Patch. What they probably give little kids. Yeah, which is akin to the one that they give to their children. It's like going to see the cockpit in the plane. It's like a pilot handing me wings. They gave you a lot of plastic sheriff's did you ever fly alone as a kid? Oh, no, I've never I didn't fly until I was 18. So I was late to the flying game

Kate was the last couple days been a little bit nicer to you than previous days? Yes, thank God. Thank God it was dicey for old Kate's time. We gotta get Mackenzie in here to get this one. Yeah! This is the last one? This is the last one. The last full run of new contestants. New contestants, and then I guess we'll have to figure out when these guys are coming in. Okay.

Kate, it's kind of been funny how mentally broken you got. Yeah, hilarious. I'd be talking to Kyle, I'd be like, oh yeah, I'm trying to look for a new pair of pants, and you'd be like, I get it, you hate me. Yeah, yeah. Am I a bad person? I thought as I'm playing with my kids at the playground, like, oh my god. That's become the top feature of the show, of this whole dating experience.

Forget finding love, we just want to get inside Kate's brain and watch what happens next. Well, I tell you what, you know, a lot of people, it's easy to shit on Kate and everything. People are shittin' on McKenzie too, it's like a bonus. Yeah, it's something like they have something in common. Yeah. Aw. That's pathetic.

Yes. That is pathetic. I don't know. I disavow. So we have one more batch of four guys. We have one more batch of four guys. And you added two late. So one guy ended up not doing it. So we have three. But no no but so I found I went back through the emails because I got over fifty of those. Yeah.

And I found I tossed one of the guys in. It was kind of a wild card. So the one guy who ended up not doing it, he emailed you and said, hey, by the way, I've seen this show and I don't want to do it now? I think he saw the message, I think he may have chickened out. Not chickened out, I think he... Can we make fun of him and ruin his life anyway? Say this.

Scott. Uh oh. Scott. Get his ass. No, you're great. You're great. It's fine Okay Forgive me if you just asked this so are these ones today the ones that Mackenzie's family and friends referred? So two of them only one of them now is was referred by Can I say your sister? Yes, like I don't think we should say which one it was though.

Okay, no, I won't say which one it was. Yeah. So here we go, we're on number. I don't do math, I don't do math. Just saying a number is not doing math. I feel like you go to this excuse a lot, I don't do math. I'm on Kate's side here, numbers are math.

Numbers, just the existence of a number is not math Like if I say eight, that's not math Yes it is Sometimes I'll think a number, I go to write it down, I write down a totally different number But that's- If it exists there has to be math No, I don't think so, I don't think it becomes math until it interacts with another number If I just say the number eight, that isn't math until you add, subtract, multiply or divide

Well she's trying to see what number she's on so she's adding up all the other numbers from the other doesn't a number need another number To perform math if you're inventing math. What's the first thing you're doing? Numbers, but they the interaction of said numbers, but it was not math I Counting might be math, but simply saying for is not math. But I think I have numbers dyslexia. I think that's just called dyslexia. I jumble numbers so bad that I can't say anything above. Once I get to the thousands, I have trouble reading it off a page.

So you can fuse different numbers? I'll think a number and write it backwards. I don't know, I get it all fucked up. I just remember hitting long division in second grade and being like, well, I'm done. Done with numbers now. The science of numbers and their operations. So and their operation. Nah.

Yeah, who cares? Anyway. We live to fight another day. Number 17. We're just trying to pass the time. Yeah. Also, you guys were talking about Keith Mitchell earlier. He's actually good friends with my uncle.

And he's really good friends with Josh Allen. Who? Who? Who the hell's Keith? That was a random name you came up with. There there's a lot of Keith Mitchell the guy we pulled up Yeah, you know Keith Mitchell. Yeah. Well, I don't know him personally, but my aunt uncle are friends with him and his wife You know guy Tabitha is he handsome? Yeah. Yeah, his wife is very pretty too My sister has met her and he's he plays in the program with Josh Allen Portnoy in disguise. They're good friends. My uncle is good friends with him. No shit. Did you just make up that name? Yeah. I thought you actually knew who it was. I like

literally texted my sister. I was like they're talking about Keith. They're talking about Keith. like they're talking about Keith. And then they're gonna tune in and he's like, he's ugly. No, he's handsome. He's a nice person too. So he ain't. All right. Well, we got a lot of nice people on this final four. Are you sure?

Because four times four is 16. We've had four days of this. We must be on number 17. Oh, girl. Now you're just showing off. All right, guess what? We finally have a cat guy. Ding ding ding ding ding.

Stefan S from Chicago. 6 foot, 185, 27-year-old cat guy. Job, tech startup. So a lot of potential, I think, for this could be the next Facebook. We don't know. Stefan and tech. Dating, just letting the world bring me the right people at the right time

I think I'm ready for a serious relationship and willing to settle down a bit more Uh-huh handicap 20 family wholesome talks to his mom every day his dad at least once a week Well, let me stop there. So why does he prefer his mom so much to his dad? Talking to his mom seven times more to his dad. He's talking to his mom seven times more than he's talking to his dad. I think moms just generally like when you talk to them more than dads. But to that degree, seven times more conversation with your mother than your father. I talk to my mom every day and then my dad will pop in the background and be like, wah. Alright, so if you talk to your mom every day, that's seven times a week, how often

a week do you talk to your dad? Probably about out of my way once a week week he pops in the background of the man provided you with a life Do you think that's her red flag? You think that that? Was too much. I how often you talk to your mom about Three times a week how often talk to your dad hold on You oftentimes don't pick up. I don't.

I'm still probably talking to her three times a week. Even if you don't pick up every time, it's still at least three times a week I do. Three times a week isn't all that much. It's trickle down because I know when you don't pick up because I get a ring. No kidding. I answered yesterday when she called. I know He was right next door and to answer your question. I haven't talked to my dad in three years. Oh actually about you want to call him now

Wrong direction Hey! Jesus Christ. All right, sorry. You know what? I deserve that for bringing that shit up. All right, continue. Up next, this guy is a DJ Snazzy Stefan. Don't ever do that Possession not a very possessive guy God But he got a wolf ring in Barcelona that time was pivotal pivotal for me in becoming an independent man and feeling confident to do He doesn't need the explanation. It's a sick wolf ring. I know I'm a leader and will always find my I know I'm a leader and will always find my Whole paragraph Will always find my path even the first answer not a very possessive person. What does that even mean you still own things?

He's not into but he doesn't really care price possession. Hmm. Don't really have a good answer, but here's a paragraph By the way, I travel I was in Barcelona jewelry guy a jewelry guy that goes abroad and considers himself a leader. That's always fine. Well, he redeems himself with the next thing He's a house DJ okay His talent is he's a house DJ. I'm playing a big party at recess on Saint Patrick's Day So this is just an advertisement? No, no, no, no, no. It's not an advertisement, what did the parentheses say? Okay, take it Lincoln, I-O-I-G. Boy, at this point I deserve everything I get. At Celeste in River North next Friday, go see him. But he says he just likes doing it as a creative release.

Again, now I've ruined it from the first date, but I wanna be like, looking at his social media, he looks nice. I'm sure he is nice. I'm into this type of shit. Hey Mackenzie. I'm Stefan nice to meet you I know you're probably reading this and thinking what a cute childhood photo But a pinky ring and he DJs red flag yeah, well fear not aside from the slightly douchey accessories and hobbies I'm at my heart a romantic looking for the right one. I hope you're her okay He's got a good job pays the bills six feet tall seems like a requirement And he's got a good friend group, so he won't annoy you and be needy you'll never be bored

He may have redeemed himself. I don't think he's a bad guy Thank you like house music And performing it and I forgot to get I'm sure and Nicky smokes would have called him a douche They say a joke No, he did not have a joke. He did not have a joke. His only joke was just saying, I promise you'll laugh around me.

Yeah. That was his thing. Okay. Okay, DJ Snazzy Stefan. I'm concerned. I've been complaining about it the whole time, but I would like Nicky Smokes to weigh in on all these now. I'm kind of dependent on it. I know. I guess we could call him in and ask. No. We could bring him in. Good with that. I noticed he guess we could call him in and ask now bring him in

Good with that. I noticed the tent. He's got a Tim Robinson shirt on in the first picture I wonder what that sure fun. Yeah. Oh, is that that TV show? Yeah, I think I think you leave. Mm-hmm All right, actually other Stefan loves that show Yeah, yeah fine Stefan yeah House the house DJ we have here. Yes, but picture if the yak had a house DJ. I guess I wasn't thinking of you Maybe this was more that would be cool to have a house to each. Yeah, I would love that for you guys But anyway, he just seemed like a fun Chicago guy who like has cool hobbies and might be fun like outside your well I don't know. Whatever. Yes next guy number 18. Hmm

Like outside your well, I don't know whatever. Yes next guy number 18. Hmm This would be Music he's a lawyer. Oh, you were fine. That was good. All right, 61200, 26-year-old dog guy, Brad in from Chicago. He's an attorney. His dating is slow.

I didn't have any relationships through school. Started looking for a serious relationship when I moved out to Chicago last year. Handicap 28, needs improvement. Family, yes, very close. Man a few words here. Man a few words. Simple guy. Was he on a TV show? And not a lot of social media posts. Like pretty, pretty bland. Question. That's just a picture of the practice. Why did you,

why did you feel the need to blur him out? Because I wanted Mackenzie to picture like that could be him. You know what I mean? That's a man in the practice. You're very free and liberal with the use of this face cover. You're very protective. You don't want anybody's identity. I was trying to get across that he's a lawyer. Okay. Lawyer? Lawyer's good.

Alright, Brad. So I was picturing if he was a billboard lawyer, Brad the Doberman. Brad the Doberman-en. This whole thing's falling apart. Bill Borth lawyer, Brad the Doberman. Brad the Doberman-en. Because his last name is N. This whole thing's falling apart. No, wait. It's a nice possession. Brad the Doberman.

I think these are fine props for men. Why the nickname? I like the blue light. Because he's a lawyer. What if he's a Bill Borth lawyer? He'd be the Doberman. He gets after you. Like the hammer is going to get you that loss.

But why the Doberman? Because his last name is N, the Dober lost but why the Doberman last name is n Boy that's actually the last letter in Doberman Brad and you know like Doberman Doberman Yes, and is in Doberman doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman

and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in doberman and as in Doberman you're great though we gotta get weman And Fanny's that oh my god Is this sign Matthew Stafford lion Jersey now, there's a little the dobermau is silent

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I Biggest talent being able to pin drop the dance move. It's my go-to dance move at weddings Let me stop there does anybody know what that I need to see what is that? pin drop I don't know and he did did with an eye, the pin drop. I thought it was when you do this, but I'm not gonna do it right. I thought it was this, but better, hold on. All right. I think it is.

Is that the pin drop? I think you're right. So he's good at that. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, that was a bad one. That was a bad one. How did a bad little how to do it right? That's pretty impressive this guy can do that. Oh shit. Whoa. That's really cool pretty good dance move

Yeah, it's his go-to move at weddings so fun guy on the dance floor He's not gonna be sitting at the table moping okay. Yeah of that outgoing caring enjoys friendly competition soccer beach volleyball golf Could definitely use a scramble partner to carry me I look forward to hopefully getting the chance to meet Mackenzie and her amazing smile and see if we connect Joke it takes a lot of balls to golf the way I like that Situation Sweetheart, I want his family Cute parents very very cute cute I would say.

Very cute parents. And they always had two dogs so that they could be buddies. A thoughtful family. Mackenzie, I don't know where you're at, but I like this guy. Yeah, I do too. I do too. I like this guy.

Doverman. It's looking good so far. Yeah. His parents look like they're royals. They do, yes. They're very wholesome looking. Very wholesome. Okay, on to the next.

19. Brad is good. Corey F. from Omaha, Nebraska. Oh, he's looking wistful. He's looking wistful. He's traveling. He's traveling 33, 5'11". He left his weight off.

5'11", he looks like he's 6'8". Wait, look how big his foot is at the bottom. Look how many legs, how much leg he's got. Wait, something ain't right. Something got right here. Doctored footage. Oh no. Look how long his foot is.

It's a proportion of his weight off. Oh my god. That looks like a goalie stick. The bottom of him is so much bigger than the top. Even the bottom one looks swollen. Yeah, he's been bit by a rattlesnake. Yeah, that is a... Yeah.

Wait, and his cab is like... Oh no. Proportionally, this man is all a sunder. No, no. No, no. Okay. Does he Photoshop his photos? I don't know.

No, I don't know. He's flat-footed for sure. Yeah, the bottom of his foot looks like the top of somebody's foot. This was a video I screenshotted, so I don't know if he could do that. Oh, man, you caught the foot motion. That's easy chance. We can't blame him for that. That is somebody's foot. This was a video I screenshotted, so I don't know if he can do that. Oh, man, you caught the foot motion. That's easy chance.

We can't blame him for that. That is a shocking question. Don't look at his face, I forgot to bring it. He has no torso at all. We can't see his face. It's all right. Well, he left his weight off. Sure, sure, sure.

Whatever. He's a corporate recruiter. Dating, at this point, it's just entertainment for my friends, a lot of first and second dates, haven't found the one. It can all be summed up by a local Omaha dating show I was on last year. I had to go roller skating and there's a montage

of me falling down with circus music in the background. You can find it if you guys wanna go find it. Go ahead. Omaha dating show sounds insane. By downloading the very local app? It's a Nebraska app. It's a Nebraska app. He was on a Nebraska app show.

The Nebraska app. Charismatic cosmetologist racist to meet her match. Wait what? Racist. Racist. Racist. I was like wait what? I thought oh that's the woman. I don't have the Nebraska. I kinda took this as it's out going. He's not afraid to put himself out there. Right. And whatever. He's not gonna clear him up if he makes it. Here. Handicapped. Just started golfing last year. Pretty bad. close, six nephews and nieces,

and loved being the fun uncle. He had a lot of pictures of funkeling. Lot of pictures of funkeling. Okay, Corey, I didn't know what to nickname him. I called him Corey Possible Eagles fan. He looked, he had some photos where he's wearing an Eagles hat. Okay.

It's gotta have a nickname, yeah. Yeah. Prize possession, Coach K signed a basketball along with a jersey with former Duke players. I was, I don't know what, what's an FID? I was an FID at Duke. Sports information director. Oh, okay.

First job after college. These were my parting gifts after two years there. My first trip year there was 2015. I got to celebrate the national championship in Indy with a bunch of the players. Night was hazy. I played flip cup with Shane Bettié. OK.

Talent, he can rap super bass by Nicki Minaj, Acapella. Who can't? Mackenzie. Excited for the chance to meet you. Great vibes, green flag, lifetime Husker fan. Don't get any more loyal than that right now. Joke, he doesn't really have a go to. He's like a dad joke pun guy.

Groans and I rolls Okay And then the last one no pressure no pressure number 20 He's been mentioned before Lou M in Chicago the pizza guy blue mo nadi He's the absolute the pizza guy over the pizza thing. Oh, yeah he's the absolute man hard-working funny and defined by integrity a former guest of ours

He's been on the show no On the scale here a little yes, I like no pressure I'm feeling like that's pressure. I didn't get his original stats. He's got funny and handsome 30-ish. It's the vibe I got. Is this the guy from Ferris Bueller's Day Off? It might be. Cameron. It might be.

That is the guy. Rich dad, then, if that's the case. The guy looking at the show, right? Job, stand up, and freelance. He does editing, videography, producing for other comedians. Recently got out of a long-term relationship, and he hasn't dated much since. He's keeping it low-key, but he's ready to get back out there. He's definitely too slow to be a plate spinner and doesn't care to be, so he's not a player. Handicap, I have a driver, nine iron, and

a putter. I've found that with my ape strength and finesse, those are the only clubs I need to have a good time on the back nine. Family, I love my family. All about family. This guy had a good family heirloom, I thought, was probably the best one I've seen. He has got. The Ferrari. A crusader, this is Crusader Sword Lou.

Calm down, Nick. Yeah. His family has the Crusader Sword that his great times nine grandfather wielded in the third crusade. No chance. That's not fucking true. It's in great condition save it no longer has its edge because the Detroit police made my great grandfather dull it as he would use it to scare off shoplifters and deadbeats from his restaurant in Greek town. None of this is true. But if my house is burning I would grab it. I don't know, I kind of believe him.

He took this from an episode of a pawn shop. His talent, besides stand-up, is that he can build most Lego sets without the directions. No. That's impossible. Just me, the picture on the box, and plenty of time on my hands, the extra pieces at the end is always nice.

This guy's full of shit. Mackenzie Seems Kind is a good video edit, who could probably teach me a lot, and doesn't mind the company of men with CTE. And then he had a Norm MacDonald joke as his joke. So there you have it. This is the top 20. Oh, we did get Nicky Smokes as...

Skeptical of intentions. Why did he use that on this guy? I don't know. I have literally no idea. Like any of the others. Also I know that's a kid's, that's him as a kid, but that's a preposterous amount of hair for a head that's- A lot of hair.

That's pretty awesome. He said restaurant in Greek town, so this might be a Greek boy. What's the Norm MacDonald joke? The street joke? I forgot to copy it down, it was kind of longer. Oh, I had it on my phone, I texted it to myself. Would you guys like me to read it to you?

I'm curious. Okay, all right. That hair is crazy, it looks like the kid from the Boondocks. Yeah, that was a black boy in the Boondocks. Danny doesn't see color. Oh, correct. What a good show that was.

In cartoons anyway. I don't know how to find my own text to myself. Would you be open to a full-time comedian? Yeah, I think so. What about the DJ? That seems to generally be a red flag for girls. Yeah, the DJ is a little bit of a red flag, but it's not his main job.

Sounds like it's a hobby. He really likes the music. What if the comedian uses you as material? That's fine. What about a Doberman? That's a good one. Minus the first half. Is the Dober silent though? I was just, hey, you take it however you want to take it. I needed that. A fellow from the city moved to the countryside to get away from it all. Once the city fella

got settled in, his neighbor came to greet him. Hey city slicker, as a welcome to the countryside, we thought we'd have a party for you over at my place. The city fella was moved by this. This is exactly the type of thing he wanted moving out to the countryside. Yeah, it'll be a great time. A little drinking, a little fighting, a little fucking. Sounds great, said the city fella. What time should I come over? Whenever you'd like, it'll just be the two of us. Wait, so he's a comedian and he submitted someone else's joke? A Norm MacDonald joke. A Norm MacDonald joke. Why wouldn't he do his own?

Not his favorite. Yeah, not his favorite joke. Why is Norm MacDonald better? No pressure, but a very close friend of the show put that guy up there, but no, no pressure either way. And that is, uh, there's the Hanford nuclear site again. There it is. Thanks to everyone who admitted except for that one

And who knows maybe this will lead to a nuclear family Okay, I didn't mind the DJ actually I thought he read I thought he seemed sweet he's self-aware That's that's good very important. That's what we say about Nicky smokes, and you'd want to date him. Yeah well That's good. That's very important. That's what we say about Nicky Smokes, and you'd wanna date him. Yeah. Well, the DJ has reminded me of, I don't know if anyone watches Bravo, but Kyle from Summer House. He's like 40 years old and he just became a DJ.

Just for fun. Yeah, if he was on The Trader. No. Okay. You might think Tom Sandable. Yeah. But he's horrible. No.

Yeah, the DJ might be a little bit of a red flag. Okay. Would you want someone who's like pretty milk toast? Bland. Bland, but super kind. Good family relationship. Like, if you read through their dating profile, it wouldn't really stand out in a crowd

and probably didn't make it through with the submissions. I'm asking, do you think like your one true love might be one of the three thousand? Oh possibly. Would that be something huh? That would be something. My DMs are open if anyone didn't make it through but we've got to make it through the next five the final five. I think bland is fine. Yeah, I think if they're nice. Makes for a good long-term. Feeling safe is good. Yeah, for sure.

I overlooked probably the most stable normal guys for sure. That's fine. But like you tamed a beast yourself. I did. I mean, look at me in the beef. You can change that. What's he doing today? That is very true.

He's watching our sick baby. Okay. So see, he's adding it up. I love that. You know the Doberman could a Brad similar yeah, I Liked Brad Brad is the top leader currently of this for okay was Brad Brad was the lawyer Yeah You know the Doberman

Cory F with the long legs Just long nothing stood out to me about him But he did an Omaha if you don't choose him can we find that Omaha dating show oh we can find it anyway Yeah, TJ. Can you download the Nebraska? TJ you formerly ugly son of a bitch TJ, you formerly ugly son of a bitch. Looks good now. The very local app, but I don't know if that's just local to Nebraska. I don't know. I'm sure it's on YouTube or something.

It's out there somewhere. Do you think somebody's scanning the local Omaha app and if they find something funny they put it on YouTube? Exclusive deal. Maybe. Oh. Maybe. So we're looking for Charismatic Cosmetologist? What? Is that what it was called? That was the name of the show. Oh.

Charismatic Cosmetologist Races to Meet Her Match. Yep, that's the show. Oh, Local Love Omaha. So that's like a production company, I guess. Interesting. He just seems like steady job, travels the world when he can, So that's like a production company, I guess. Interesting. He just seems like steady job, travels the world when he can, like nice guy, big foot.

Do we have multiple Omaha guys? There were. There was another Omaha guy. Of the 3,000, we got a ton of Canada. None of them made the cut here. But Nebraska was like, besides this area, Nebraska was far and away. Really? Like wildly. Ain't no bitches in Omaha? There was like besides this area Nebraska was far and away like wildly. I know bitches in Omaha.

There was like 50 of them. There was like so many in general just Nebraska dudes like an enormous amount that it stood out. So I don't know what's going on up there. Interesting. Nebraska. Yeah. So ladies go to Nebraska. Yeah, I guess. They don't have anyone. Yeah. Who's it gonna be? I think it's gonna be Brad. The lawyer. Oh, the Doberman. I think I'm noticing something. I think nicknames, the better nicknames

Limbo Pete. Limbo Pete. Except for Van Talk. Yeah, well that was the worst nickname. Van Head. Vanny, Vanny, actually. Vanny Zackhead. Vanny Zackhead. Wait, he didn't make it through no no so wait the five that will be here hopefully are limbo Pete no Parker Parker limbo or limbo Brad the Doberman the Doberman who was yesterday six baseball player other baseball player his nickname was rice Arnaud's guy who she didn't actually want to write who's I did is my second choice. A distant second though. So yeah. He should fly out here to get sent home first. Yeah. Chandler B. The Doberman. Chandler B. was yesterday's big tall baseball player. Yes. And then the other baseball player was named

what? The Savannah Bonanza. The Savannah Bonanza. Connor. Connor H. Now that leaves us a little bit of room here because I believe you have a golden buzzer. Right. Oh, yeah. So we can go back and get anybody throughout the entire 20. Right?

Do you want to do a quick flip through? Or Kyle can. I don't want to Bogart the buzzer. I want you guys to help me with it. We chose you to be the golden buzzer. We can do a very Right just one through 20 just a brief look at them We don't have to even tell us just look at them. Okay, and then Kyle and I think what even comes to mind Maybe like the who is the politician with the getter done?

Maybe him we'll see how you know how to identify a catch as your one yourself Isn't that sweet? Congressman Drew. Congressman Drew. Oh yeah. Oh, Weatherman Dave. Oh, he's very hot. I think he got a bad rap from me, didn't he? He was the first one.

Yeah, this is a good one. This was a good one. He's good. We did see him, we did cheat. He's really good, and his mom is. And if he wasn't up against a baseball player, he might have made it. Friends with Alex Earl before it was cool, right?

Yeah, parents look good Yeah, you hated him You did not like him they're all they're all children Connor you like He made it. Savannah Banana. Oh he made it. Baseball player. He made it. Big Butter.

Griffin you liked. Oh that's his nickname, Big Butter. Griffin I don't think she liked. I think she was kinda just, eh. You said Griffin was ugly presenting. Who said that? That's right. Oh yeah, lunch with Bonnie Haas, that's right.

That's right. Mm-hmm. Nathan Depp. No, you did not like Nathan D. Oh, the Whizler. The Whizler. That's the case with the worst nickname fighting against the God. That's up there, yeah.

Uh-huh. Oh, and the photo from 5.980. Again, not a math girl. Notre Dame Dillon. He liked all the sports team as you, Yankees, Notre Dame and the Bills. Zach K. is the one that made it? Yes. He's the one that made it. He's in.

Didn't really make it, but made it. By the way, he had me up. Both of his legs are fully tattooed. Oh, interesting. So not just that one. I don't think he had to really clear that up. OK, well. There's Parker.

Parker Limbo. There's the guy. Van Guy. Oh, Van Guy. I hate her. Hearing it's fine, but seeing it. Talent from Maps. OK. Drew D. OK, what else about him? Furry 5. Is that two Drew D's? Oh, I hate hearing it's fine, but seeing it apps okay Okay, what else about 35 that to drew these 35 there was another drew whether was drew right?

Dave whether was Dave Dave. Oh, sorry him and his brother owned a restaurant That's cool finding out what kind of restaurant would be effective to me would be oh he was the Elmo though. Oh That's what did that sound like? a leaf fell on my car People were mad at me that I didn't get that but yeah, what was the you got hung up on Nissan? Did you see Elmo was like we got the joke we just didn't understand why it was Yeah, I'm always happy Elmo was like, we got the joke. We just didn't understand why it was funny. It was more of a sentence. Yeah.

Elmo was happy to have that temper tantrum on that line that day. Stephen Z in Omaha. You didn't get it. These guys should date each other. Oh, the pigeon? Oh, yeah. If we could bring the pigeon.

Glass eyes, Stephen. Oh, yeah. Glass eyes, Stephen. That's my hope from the Instagram group is that they'd at least say they'd all find each other and be friends, but nobody's chitty-chatting in there Don't Jake's contestants hang out all the time now mm-hmm You know them are like best they bonded through a hatred of him obviously

Matt M fun party guy he's the one jumping in the river. I think he's the one who jumped yeah Shane D. Anal Shane. Oh, he got close, right? Anal Shane. He was a good potential, I think. Hot dad, yeah. Again, sexualizing their parents is just not.

Oh well. Chandler B. There he is. Oh, yeah. Squinty eyes. High ERA though. 25. And these were today's guys, okay. Yeah, yeah squinty. I high e re though So Kyle anything from that very forgettable group Realistically the same I'm leaning does the van guy and the five foot eight. You're saying we can meet Vanny Zakhead in person. Vanny Zakhead and Brad the Doberman Inn

are gonna be in the same room. The 5'8 guy was 35 with an Elmo impression. Right? No, the guy who tripped in the river. Oh yeah. He's local. Matt M. He's fun.

I had a question mark. He does seem fun. You had question marks. What was your question? No, it was just question marks when I was like writing down my notes. That's a question. No, I know it was just like unsure The beer belt you don't know if you know beer belt Matt. Yeah, I don't know if you can settle down I Think that I'm jumping in river. You're not trying to jump into a river with a man. Mm-hmm So the weatherman would be good. He'd probably be good on camera

Would you be mad if you went out on a date with a guy and he got pretty banged up and jumped in the river I wouldn't be mad okay I would just be like that's okay I think I would be confused dry yourself off Brandon would your wife be mad if you got tanked at dinner, but she wouldn't be mad publicly. OK. It would be a post three day. It'd be a three day delayed mad. Like I wouldn't get mad at a guy I'm going on a first date

with because I don't know. You're an adult. First date and he jumps in the river. Well isn't that what you said? Just like on a date. Oh, OK. No, I would just be like, oh. You'd rather have it on the first date

than the ninth date. That's what I'm saying. Then it's like, all right, see ya date, you'd rather have it on the first date than the ninth date. That's what I'm saying. No way. Then it's like, all right, see ya. You'd want it to happen on the ninth date? I think you should be buttoned up on your first date. Best behavior. Yeah.

Yeah, but on the first date, if it's problematic behavior, you want to get it out in the open. That's what I'm saying, yeah. And I think people over drink on first dates a lot because they're nervous. Oh, yes, me. Yeah. Oh, you're going to get drunk on these dates.

So maybe you'll jump in the river. Maybe, not in the office. Because often. We don't have a river in the me. Yeah. Oh, you're going to get drunk on these dates. So maybe he'll jump in the river. Maybe not in the office, because I'll have to wait. We don't have a river in the office. On the dates in the office. Is there a river sign somewhere in here? Yeah, exactly. Can we get a river? Oh, we can fill the tunnel with water. That would be amazing.

Neighbors would love it. Lazy tunnel. Did you pick one from this news group while I was gone? Oh, yeah. Brad. She picked Brad. Did we reveal who her sister referred her to? Oh wow.

Who was it? It was Brad. Whoa! Yeah, there we go. It was Brad. We're in sync, we're in sync. Shout out to Kasey. She knew.

Huge miss for Scott. We're not doing this to him. No. I know, Scott. For shame. I hate to say it. So nobody has any thoughts on the final I don't want to hassle a wild card pick and make them fly in right I think the the guy the river guy could be good or the van guy river guy or van guy

What do you guys think I think river guy seemed fun? It's fun. He's local Is he too tiny? I like the weather man. No, let me look do you guys want can I hand my laptop to one of you and you look through his social? I don't want my fingerprints anywhere near that left No, I think that's gonna be using a deposition at some point Of the bunch I think this. This is the party animal guy? No. We already picked party animal. This is beer belt guy. Well, you know what, I meant actual party animal. Oh, okay. Kate, how many are on that laptop? Just the 20 or are there more?

All 50. It's 50 something. Oh, there's almost 80. Kyle, reach in the unused file and just grab one. Can I just pick a random one? Yes! It's a random file. Let's do a random. Kyle, let me here. Let me grab the part.

All right, now everybody got a chance at this. So these guys, it has to be guys that are following the dating show because they, 83 followers, one of these 83. Okay? Wait. Kyle, are you going to look or are you just going to? I have one that's, no.. Oh you have one in mind. Oh the one that The black one I told Madeline about that she told you

Maybe not maybe not it probably won't be him. It's fine. It probably won't be him. How do I access the files? Watching I'll use tech as favorite things we can toss that guy in his wild card too though I'll figure that out no that's fine there's no rules so are we not picking from did anybody else get DM like hey I want to be a late applicant a lot a lot of guys yes a lot of them were like can I still apply mm-hmm can't follow rules out they were talking about to be big cats assistant probably yeah I mean that's probably what all these guys want. That's how we're going to do another dating show to figure out his assistant.

Yes. Well, that was hard trying to find, which you clearly didn't. No, you did great. I'm trying to find guys that did seem genuine in their responses, but were also not. Right. Would also be okay and not like clam up and. Yes. And yet still a second one with his uh, that was advertising his IG today.

Made it through. Yeah. Yeah. The links in the IG. Oh, the DJ? But he didn't make it. My brain is like, oh he just wants to prove that that's what he is. And I don't think that way. Prove it by making money.

I mean it's very obvious. Yeah. Maybe I can get a free ticket to that. Kyle, is that a blank screen yeah party oh no wait he's picking from the whole list yeah of that dude not that not the Instagram oh if you want to go to the whole big one did you use? I do not. It's an Excel sheet. I, again, I was the wrong person.

The Google form makes it an Excel sheet with you with all the answers. Anything left to clear up on the last day you'll ever be in charge of anything? No. I would have liked to see any of you guys do this. I volunteered to do it. We all wanted to do it. Yeah, no, she put in so much work. She this. What? I volunteered to do it. We all wanted to do it. But it's so much work.

She did a lot, and I really appreciate it. I definitely should have asked. I feel bad bugging people. I should have bugged people on this one. No, you did great. I landed on Bob from Miami. 5'9". Did you search 5'9"? Stock trader. Oh, five foot nine. Did you search five foot nine? Stock trader. Oh, OK.

Smart. Cat guy. Describe your dating life in the past five years. High key. That's all he said. Describe your relationship with your parents. Good. Yeah.

This guy rocked. Is he in the red, though? Do you golf? Driving range Do you do your Instagram or other social media link banned on insta for commenting too much Give the chat his Instagram in case I need to spell the book. Okay. Chat. If you're banned for being a comic host. Chat. Give the chat his Instagram in case. He's probably in the chat now.

Okay, I have it. You mean to say it? Well, I'm just saying like if there's another Joey situation. If he's banned, is he not on Instagram? That's also true. Maybe he gave his Twitter. Some of these are funny. Is he red though?

I don't want you to pick one that they didn't pick. Oh, it can't be red. Let me say something real quick. I would assume the red was a no from the beginning. Let me say something real quick because we can add a blast of refreshing tropical lime flavor to our day with Mountain Dew Baja Blast. It's so delicious, so refreshing,

so perfect for any occasion. Ride the Baja wave, grab Mountain Dew Baja Blast for you and your crew wherever refreshing beverages are sold. And then also, before I get any further, well I'll come back to that one in a minute. I found the Looking for Love Omaha. Please. We need that. No way. You can only watch it on the very local app. So let me airplay it to myself. Oh my god. Well before he does that Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the perfect combo of chocolate and peanut butter.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups may be even more perfect with a layer of ooey gooey delicious chocolate lava. You can buy Reese's cups basically anywhere. It's lava time, baby. Try Reese's new delicious chocolate lava big cup and you can buy that thing pretty much anywhere you are in this country. It is everywhere. Gas stations, airports, supermarkets, grocery stores. I've had people tweet me and just be like, thank you for putting me on.

Yeah. They're so good. Enjoy them, buy them, find them, eat them. That was good, Brando. Thanks. Yeah, TJ, you had to download the, did you have to make an account? Here we go, Skate City.

Skating's great for family activities. It's something that is considered a lifelong sport. Great for date nights, because it can make people vulnerable, show a little of the insecurities, especially for those that haven't skated in a long time or have never skated. I think it's good to show that nature of somebody's personality to see how they react and how they overcome those kind of fears.

It's definitely a good experience. Hi, I'm Cori. Elizabeth, nice to meet you. Who are you? He is. She's very pretty. This is a fun thing for us to do. Have you gone skating before?

Not since I was a kid, so I might be very bad at this first impression of Elizabeth Sarwalk in very cute. Definitely my type blonde hair blue eyes. I'm always a sucker for I walked through the door And I saw my name in there, and I was just super excited to see him and get on the right you look great By the way, thank you Alright got it Yeah, I got it. Well, there's something you would the fuck up Maybe wasn't the best first date I could have show. Are you holler to me?

Danny thoughts I'm not Did he choose rollerblading? Yes There we go for me me, what worked... They added the slide. I was trying to keep my equilibrium somewhere over top of my feet. It didn't work out as well as I thought it would. So tell me about your family. Do you have... ...brothers, sisters?

There's no... She's not even laughing at all. She's like trying to go really slow. I think she's not laughing at me. She's not even laughing with me. We'll go with that. Bore was definitely struggling a little bit out on the rink. But he was trying and you could totally tell. And I found that totally endearing.

Totally. I mean later. Eventually after I like married and settled out and all that Yeah, I'm also adopted so I'm really open to like adoption Yeah, we talked a little bit about having kids of our own at some point and what we kind of look for there He's not getting a lot in return he's This is all fine so far so that didn't work out Clearly a single oh I think this is all fine so far. Yeah. So that didn't work out. Does she get topped? Clearly, he's single. Oh.

How long ago was that, I wonder? Yeah, how long ago was that? I don't know. Where exactly was he? But a nice boy, am I wrong? No, he seems very nice. What was her instead? What was her name?

I liked him. Oh, no. Oh. You want to take a break? Why would he pick this date? Oh, and he's sweating so much. Oh Say she got played so much easier. Yeah There was a few times where I had asked if he was okay, I just wanted to double-check But I hopefully he wasn't hurt at all She's funny Well, so I guess him I'll pick him and what happens Wait, was that the guy very local yeah wait let's watch that again You know there's a guy

Her? Kyle, ring it to it. Buzz it, Kyle. Gotta do it, better than her. I have to. Listen. We'll get her in here, see if she likes ya. We'll find her. That could be a good twist, Mackenzie.

The ratings would be in gold. I'm down? Yeah. Very local down? Yeah. Very local. No pressure. Oh, I was not that far away. So Cory F. This is a bad picture of him. I don't know what he's shaped.

He's shaped like a bionicle or something. Right. The proportions here are way off. And I don't think he should have chose that picture, that's all. Slenderman. It was a screenshot from Kate. I chose that one.

What was the video? It was rolling straight on a boat. It was like. Of a hot ass. He was like pivoting with his wine glass to look out at the ocean or something. Thinking about her. And where is that?

That's interesting, you got a little fog there you got some some craggly rocks Where do you think he is? Brandon have you ever been to Omaha with anybody hideous? Yeah, I sure have he's two fucking weeks Two fucking weeks. Oh my god. Ha. Oh. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Ha. All right, so Cory from- TJ, that was out of line. Cory from Omaha is in. It's okay. I'll take a couple days off and be better. Ha.

Ha. Ha. TJ's gonna get plastic surgery. Is Cory the one? Is that the pick? I thought that's what Kyle said. No, I mean- Oh.

I mean, what do you guys think? Kyle, god damn it, picked somebody. I think- He said weatherman. Lou M. would be fun, but do you guys think? Kyle god damn it pick somebody I think that weatherman Lou M would be fun I don't think he'd be who might not be for you. Who's loom Lou M? Who was he Sam's friend comedian? We're just trying to please Sam. Yes Nobody I'm still gonna come back Kate. We don't have to kiss Sam's ass. Can we have Lou into at some point though? I think we should like yeah, I related to me again I don't want him in okay um I like the guy who fell in the river I think that's what I'm that's my number guy yeah Chicago nearby as a wild card you don't make a wild card fly out money for the

company here what do you think scrolling through his pictures you feel anything Titus yeah he sees he looks like a guy yeah good point a guy could fall into a river for sure I mean I think we all know we're heading towards a Doberman limbo showdown yeah yeah pin drop first is no I want to meet the guy if nothing else I don't know if he's gonna be the one for Mackenzie but that's fine is it Mackenzie are we? Are we not trying to find- Yeah, is it? I feel like we're fucking this up. Is there anyone-

No, wait, what? Are we trying to- we're trying to find the one here, right? We are. I'm just saying it's fine if he's not. Yeah, but let's focus on making sure he is. I am. I'm very focused. Okay.

Okay. I'm just not sure your head over- head over heels in love yet, and I thought by this point you would have already fallen in love. Do you who knows? Was there any chance you'd fall in love with just a profile I have I Don't think so, okay. Oh, yeah, I'm more in love with some of the profiles and the women I was actually in love with yeah The idea of it. I fell in love with a girl off a dating show one time. What was her name? I don't know the girl with pink and blonde hair from Rock of Love? Or was that me?

That was, yeah, I was cheating. Okay. Was it a very widespread dating show, Brandon? Was it a? Oh, it's very- Was it a local? Hyper local. Yeah.

A place I've never been, really. You've been. Oh, I have been, yeah, sorry. A place I haven't been in Really? You've been. Oh, I have been. Yeah, sorry. A place I haven't been in a while. Yeah. What? Yeah, man. I was in, like, ninth grade.

I do remember her. Oh, OK. Yeah. I see the vision. And I see the face. I'm picking up what you're laying down. Michael's put her through the fucking mattress McKenzie you don't got one that sticks out like of the guys that an extra one

Yeah, someone you know the extra one this is a golden buzzer definite potential will also be entertaining um Shoot I don't have all my notes on this. I'm trying to remember What'd you do with the previous day's notes there at my desk? I would love to get the weatherman in here and put him in front of the jumbotron and tight them Yeah, I think the weatherman the one that we said was very hot is that the one There she goes again God forbid Shane D. I think he was the one that made the joke about the dating the same guy. Oh, yeah

guy, yeah Anal Shane. Anal Shane, correct. I don't know, I don't think there was any. All right, pick him. Yeah, let's go with him. Yeah, let's pick him. Or he has to bring the pigeon.

There was a, who was the one that was from yesterday and Hannah and Smokes described him as basic? Oh. I forget his name. But he seemed like a good guy too. But again, I forget his name. But he seemed like a good guy too. But again, I don't know. We could use some basic in here. Yeah, we need more basic in this company. Good vibes. I'm big boy. There's beer belt Matt. That's beer belt Matt.

Yeah. Oh, Capri's guy. Oh, country golfer Bryce. Yeah, Bryce D from NH. like Tim Tim all right dating life hectic not productive we have our we have we have whatever yeah we're good yeah we'll figure out we'll get them in here yeah we'll get them in here we'll ask big cat when we're allowed to get them in here and we'll I say we we really drag this out as long as possible that's what everyone wants football season we'll keep teasing it and I'll keep... Yeah.

Alright, now when do we do the next 20? Oh yeah. Should we go through all 3,000 and have Kate do a profile for everyone? I mean I bet you guys would enjoy just scrolling through it. I'm sure. Drudging through it. I mean I wouldn't mind mentally destroying Kate a little bit more. No.

Oh, we can just... I mean just wait. Kate's done great we just, I mean, just wait. Done great. Yeah, right. It'll happen. It's on its way. It'll happen. Yeah. And, and. Breakdown. And boys, think about your respective skill that can be contested in a one-on-one challenge. Yes. And if we can schedule it, you might be able to meet Arian Foster. Hey now. Go through the. I don't know what it's about. That's what we're. Well, you might be able to meet Arian Foster. Hey now. I know what it's about. That's what we're? Well, they're already in.

That's what we're dangling over these guys? I mean, we've got to get them here somehow. They're not coming for me. I think they are. That's a joke. Okay, all right, all right. That's a joke. That's what everyone's saying.

Well, they're at least, yeah. I'm trying to make a joke. Coming to meet Big Cat. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Sorry. If you're the winner, you can either go on a date with McKenzie or get one retweet from Big Cat. It's not $2,000.

It's a retweet from Big Cat. One picture with Dan, Big Cat Cats. We can't offer that. See, it's doing something along those lines. What was it with mouse sec? Was it two grand? It was two grand, yeah. Two grand, yeah. But the date itself was two grand.

You could either get a very expensive date or two grand cash. Yeah. Right. And I think mouse sec looked every single one of them in the face and said, you better take the cash. Yes. And I think he thought the one he picked was going to be the most likely to take the cash. He think he thought he thought the one he picked was gonna be the most likely to take the cash he was not right yeah and she scorned

mm-hmm thank you Kenzie thanks guys I'm excited to meet these boys sorry for everyone watching what oh my god we're both fucked up we're both I've actually had so much fun and I don't really care what anyone else thinks. So I appreciate you guys for letting me do this. Once we get these boys in office. Yeah, that'll be the fun part. Yeah, once we get our eyes on the Doberman, everything's changing. Oh, Vanny Zakhed coming too?

I'll put this out into the ether. Vanny Zakhed, if you happen to be driving by Chicago when we do our thing, you can just come in. You can just come in. Just come live in the You can just come in. Just come live in the parking lot for a while. Yeah. All right, TJ, you want to spin the wheel?

You think it's going to be wet today? It's got to be. All right. It's wet outside today. Is it still raining? Just a plumber on a nice warm weather day. Yeah. Am I putting Date with Kate back on here?

Oh, yeah. Why not? Until Malisek gets back. I thought about surprising him in Florida. Yeah? That would be amazing. Bringing his doorbell and taking him out in the town. I think he would love that.

I think so, too. Which means I don't want you to do it. I've never done Tampa. No? Great, great city. God, I love it. It's good. Mm-mm. Great, great city. God love it. It's good.

I think it's my favorite Florida city. Yeah, it's way up there. All right. Big Cat will be back tomorrow. And I think we'll have Chase swimming. And any other high jinx that they've gotten themselves into. Otherwise, yeah, that's it. That's the Yak.

Thanks. Yep. Mm. That's it. That's the act. Thanks. It's a yak Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap It's a yak It's a yak Love you guys gotta go to New York. See you on Monday. Lucas in the chair, be nice to him please.

Love ya. Happy birthday Gio. Alright, see ya. Bye.