The Yak - The Fly | The Yak 7-18-22

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa. And Mincy's just trying to say something right as the show started. Shout out Mincy. I fucking love the guy. Yeah, one of a kind. Mincy, this weekend, I was away with my family, and Dad and company was at City. And so I told him, like, a month ago, I was like,

I'm going to go to Wrigley because I can go then, and I can't go when they're at City. So that's the plan. And he was like, oh, that to go to Wrigley because I can go then, and I can't go when they're at City, so that's the plan. And he was like, oh, that makes sense, that makes sense. And then he texted me all weekend long being like, oh, they just played this song. It's this. I was just like, this sucks, bro. You can just imagine it all.

That's almost better than being there. I'm sitting watching Paw Patrol with my son. He's like, they just played Althea, your favorite song. I was like, cool, dude. That's sick. That's funny better than being there. I'm sitting watching Paw Patrol with my son. He's like, they just played Althea, your favorite song. I was like, cool, dude. That's sick. That's funny as fuck. Good looking out by him. The only thing better would have been if he just sent you videos of each one.

Yeah, videos from a concert are the worst. From like the nosebleeds of a baseball stadium. Yes. Couldn't be farther away. What's up, boys? What's up, boys? How was everyone's weekend? I'm wearing black shoes today.

I don't know about it. It threw me off. Yeah, you're like, whoa. Yeah. I had the same shoes. I know. I'm trying to be like Sass, but it's a little bit, I don't know, in the summertime, can you wear black shoes like this?

It's a little bit violent. I think we look fine. Yeah. Black shoes make my feet look small. Yeah. They make me look like I need to get my legs amputated Yeah They're thinning for my fat ass feet

My double wides There's also a feeling of Those are different because those are classic Chuck Taylors And they get the white on the end But anytime you wear black shoes You definitely run the risk of looking like a caterer Oh yeah You know what I mean

It's a tough look It's a very waiter vibe Yeah like Did you just finish your shift? Yeah. You know, knock on caterers, because I used to cater. In college, I used to have to walk around with the fucking stuffed mushrooms for a couple extra bucks. But, yeah, it doesn't feel good to walk around.

Did you ever sneak any? Oh, yeah, I see. What, before they went out or after they went out? Leftovers. Four, middle, after. Little tip from the catering community. Yeah? Dude, when there's like two left, just go back, pop them both in.

Yeah, run them. All day. People are trying to like stop you. Yeah, all day. A lot of it in fucking too. Oh, yeah. Caterers fuck each other. What was that show about caterers?

I didn't get that. Party Down? I didn't fuck any of them. Party Down was a good show. Got the Freaks and Geeks treatment. Yeah, I didn't fuck any of the other caterers. So good show. Got the Freaks and Geeks treatment. Yeah, I didn't fuck any of the other co-workers. They probably just thought I fucked too good or something. Maybe it was because I was stuffing my face with mushrooms constantly.

Do the caterers fuck with the valets? Is there any cross-pollination there? Or is it never the twain shall meet? Interesting. That's an interesting thought. Yeah, I'm just wondering, dude. I'm just out here fucking wondering. I bet they don't.

I think the valets are kind of the rough-and-tumble bad boys of society. They have, like, budding music careers. You'd have to imagine, though, like, there's a little crossover that's just pretty much just, you know, the late-night joint or blunt in the back is where the caterers and the valets combine. Oh, yeah. And the whole kitchen staff. People just work in kitchens because they don't want to quit smoking weed. Yeah.

That's the only reason why people ever work in restaurants. It's a fucking fact. They don't want to get drug tested. That's like the first question people ask you when you start working at a kitchen. They're like, do you smoke? Do you do coke? I can't trust you. Yeah. Okay, well, you're going to fit in great here. Yeah. Yeah. start working at a kitchen? Do you smoke? Do you do coke? I can't trust you.

Okay, well, you're going to fit in great here. Yeah. Yeah, you can't trust a guy if he doesn't fucking suck. I remember I worked in a kitchen when I was in like seventh grade and someone was like, are you cool? That's illegal. Yeah, I did. Of course. What?

Is that not allowed? Seventh grade? I think that's illegal, right? Isn't there child balls? Or maybe it was eighth grade. I don't know. You got to be like 16. I thought.

His parents made him go out and earn his keep. Yeah. Yeah, they were like, are you- Helping your mom bake cookies is not working anymore. No, no, no. Heads up. Hey, mom, where's the fucking weed in this kitchen? I might have been in eighth grade now that I think about it.

Summer going into ninth grade. I guess I was way off there. You guys had a great show on Friday. I got my feelings really hurt because I checked it on the show and someone was like, kick Big Cat off the show. They love it. Awesome. They love it when we go long and they put it on you.

You hate going long. I love going long. I'll go long forever. I don't think you have any other commitments. We'll go four hours today. Don't give a fuck. Not today. Oh, see?

Don't want to do that. No, but I did see that one comment and I was like, oh, this hurts. And then I was like, suck it up. Sass has to deal with this every day. Yeah, then look at that.

And look at every single other comment around that comment. I was like, stop being a pussy, Dan. We'll have it way worse. I don't really look at the comments anymore. I just because I always have... I look at the comments anymore. I just, because I always have. I look at the Reddit every day, religiously.

That's crazy. I love the Reddit. I have major FOMO whenever I miss a show, which I'm going to miss a bunch coming up. So, yeah, just try not to have any fun without me, guys. Yeah, I saw the schedule. It's like everyone is out in like a week. I know. We got to figure that out.

We got to. Oh. Holding it down. Perfect. That's the whole point of the yak of how many people we have is that it should always exist and we should always be able to pull off a good show no matter the combination. Got to be the Globetrotters. Yeah.

You got to just be deep and still just run and game. Run and lay up lines like KB and D-Lo. AB, you looked hot this weekend. I can't. Yeah. You just found out that this weekend. I can't. I see a picture of him in that Guardians. It was an Indians jersey, but it was a Guardians. I have the Indians. It was a Reds jersey.

Oh, it was a Reds jersey. I'm sorry. That's a good jersey. Yeah, because that actually. That was a big boy's jersey. What jersey was it? Who won the Reds? Adam Dunn?

It's a Reds medium. Yeah, whose jersey? I didn't know that the size of M Adam Dunn? It's the Reds. Medium. Yeah, whose jersey? I didn't know that the size M was right there. That's a great jersey. Economy for the medium. Dude, I love seeing you wear a baseball jersey. Whose do you want me to wear? A large?

Whose jersey was it? Baseball jerseys. It's mine. No, but who, what player? It's from the mall. There's no name on the back, nor a number. Oh, really? It's from the mall.

Your Indians jersey has a name on the back? 2018 before Breakaway. Music festival. Yeah. Who's that? That has Trevor Bower's last name. I know you're fucking with me right now. Why?

I bought KB a baseball jersey five months ago and he said he was going to wear it five times this year. He hasn't worn it. No. He hasn't worn it one time. Yeah, I'm on pace to wear it four times. No, you're not even. No, you're not. You're on pace to wear it four times. No, you're not even. No, you're not.

You're on pace to wear it three times if you start wearing it right now. Was that that Isringhausen piece? Yeah. He's grown it. It's a little big. I'm going to just tell you straight up, it's a little bit big. There's a fly in here, by the way. Is this fly making anyone else super angry?

Due to the rising cost of ammo, a warning shot will no longer be fired. Nice. But he can't wear an Isringhausen jersey that I got as a gift. For $145 on Fabletics. This fly is gravitating toward me. This fly is killing me. Know that if you move in slow motion, you can grab a fly because they see everything so fast. Damn, dude.

I'm putting a bounty on this fly's head. 20 bucks. 20 bucks. Well, Ron could kill it right now, but he won't. Oh. When you go in slow motion, they can't see you. Get it, Kyle. 20 bucks.

Bounty on that motherfucker's head. What? Oh. I was at a lunch once. Dainty ass legs. Of course it couldn't stay on. I was at a lunch legs of course it couldn't stay on i was at a lunch once with almost all chinese people and this one guy with red hair caught a fly in his chopsticks on purpose it's incredible a chinese dude with red hair no it's just from karate kid i'm pretty sure no i saw it in real life you see how the slow motion works yeah it does it's the best party trick this fly's good and then he's gonna think everything the slow motion works? Yeah, it does. It's the best party trick. This fly's going to...

And then he's going to think everything's slow motion. We'll catch him with the fast motion because we'll have dulled his senses. Here we go. This absolute fool. Are you real? Yes. Fuck! Close, though.

That was close. I'll kill it. Do it! Are we trying to grab it or just kill it? Kill it. I put a bounty on its head. $20 alive. I'm upping it to $40.

Okay, let's go. Is it less money alive? More money alive? How about more money if we catch it alive? Yeah, I want to torture it. Let's get a bounty on it. Get it on a leaf. I want to torture this fly.

Let's give a number. We just did. No, for someone to come in and kill it. Oh. Okay, yeah. $1,000. No. It's like that episode of Breaking Bad.

They got five. They get one minute. If they kill it, $1,000. And anyone can come in if they're listening. I'll chip. I'll chip. How much will you chip? I'm going to not do that.

Let's go with $40. $40 feels good. I'll fly. I'll throw two. Four, six, eight, ten. That's $20. How was the weekend, though, Kyle? You did look awesome.

It was fun. I got tamed because I kept appearing in pictures. That's a good sign. That means I wasn't roaming around. Do you open your eyes? You got to open your eyes wide. John Rich fell off the bunk bed. It was really funny.

I was on the bottom. He was on the top. Fell off. Screamed fuck real loud. That is funny. Was he drunk? Doesn't remember it. Shit.

Wasn't that drunk. Says he doesn't remember. Doesn't feel anything. Wow. He landed hard. That's interesting. What else? What else?

What else? When you were there. Yeah, I was there as well. It was good. The house was beautiful. What if you had to write an inside joke caption for your weekend? What would yours be? Not what is his.

Not what's Jeff G. Lowe's, but give us a couple. I don't know, dude. I went, and I still didn't get any of the inside jokes. No, I didn't either. Yeah. Owen actually texted us that last night. Putting in work. You were on the outside.

Yeah, KB, you look sober. Big Cat had asked me to go down sort of as a recon mission to get intel on him. Whose ass is that? I'm not going to throw it under the bus. I would like to know. Are you about to have it? No. Oh, yeah, you were.

No, it wasn't fat enough for him. Saw the camera on me, and I did that face. It's a pretty wild pose for, where are they? You're at a bar in that picture? It's DJ. Throw that ass in a circle. Dukes got kicked out of a bar for being too nice to the bouncer. That's true.

He kept dopping him up and offering him a vape, and the guy was just like, I don't like the style. I actually side with the bouncer on that. Yeah. That sounds annoying. That must get so annoying, like drunk dudes trying to be friends with the bouncer.

Being like, I know you need me to kick anyone out for you? Yeah. It's a beta move. It would be a wrong story if he wants to ever. Oh, looks like he just head out immediately. Oh, he heard he was getting talked about. Dukes.

Sit down. We have a bounty on a fly. If you can catch it In one minute You get $40 Oh nice You got kicked out of a bar For being too nice to the bouncer This is what I heard

Yeah it was ridiculous What were you doing? No it wasn't then I got what he was thinking Like I knew that I was Going to be trouble In about an hour Okay

When I was dancing I realized he was a bouncer I gave him a rip of my vape. And I offered it again. And he's like, get out of here. And like, he just didn't like my style of play. Like, I run an up-tempo offense. He was just, he was like, no, we don't do this here.

Yeah. That was the extent of your violations, just being too generous. You're trying to play Big 12 football in the Big 10? Yeah, exactly. You didn't like the air offense. Yeah. Too generous You were trying to You were trying to play Big 12 football In the Big 10 Yeah exactly Ah Like the air offense Yeah So he was just like

Get out of here Cause you're too nice He wasn't just like Get out He forced you out Weirdest thing Yeah He was just a normal guy

Bouncing a bar And he threw me out Like assaulted me Like actually threw you Yeah it was actually I feel like I like this bouncer He let them out like mulch Then threw him Yeah it was very impressive it was i thought like i'm glad i

just got kicked out of djs because i feel like then i would have been like injured where would you where did you go afterwards oh uh so what does dj does djs have like this is the spot a moat around it or something how would you get injured i don't know no these bouncers are just huge big guys big big guys. Big, big guys. I like that, though, because I don't respect a bar when you show up and the bouncers are nothing. I want bouncers that can physically dominate me. That was the embarrassing part. This guy wasn't big at all.

Oh, no. And he emasculated me. I got hang time at Spinnaker in 2015. Physically tossed out. Yeah. How'd they grab you? Yeah my uh arc was more of a tossing a toddler in the pool he actually threw me and i took it that's awesome glided yeah that's how you should be thrown out i just fucking love so dudes you think you're too

nice to bouncers yeah i'm like way too nice to bouncers i my plan is like i kind of know that i'm a disaster when i can go out sometimes so my my plan is to like be friends with the bouncers. My plan is like, I kind of know that I'm a disaster when I can go out sometimes. So my plan is to be friends with the bouncers, grease them up a little bit. A little bit harder to kick you out. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you can't kick out your friend. Yeah. So I could see how that would be annoying. That's exactly what happened. Yeah. Yeah. I got, I

understood. I mean, I was going in a bad direction. Okay. That's fair. But then, yeah, just when I walked around a little bit, because I thought that I was in walking distance of the house, I actually wasn't. Oh, fair. But then, yeah, just when I walked around a little bit, because I thought that I was in walking distance of the house, I actually wasn't. Oh, shit. So then I called Manuspawn Taxi, shout out them,

and they got me home safe. Ubers? No? No, Ubers are too expensive. I was telling KB that on the way to the bar. You were telling me that, and I agreed. Yeah. Okay. All right, well, thanks, dude.

No, thank you. That was good. that was a good recap too nice to the bouncers too nice you know what i mean though when you go to a bar and it's like the bouncer is like a scrawny dude and you're like come on i don't you can't respect it you got to know like i could own this place if i wanted to yeah you need to go and have it be like offensive lineman yeah i want to like feel like i don't deserve to be there. I want to feel like there's law. Yeah. And if you.

My presence is like it's a. I'm paying for that. Yeah. Like if I get unruly I want someone to be able to beat the fuck out of me. Open hand slap me. I was a bouncer at Penn State at a place called. I wouldn't respect you. Yeah.

Like I would have been like fuck this bar. I run this bar. And I would let I would let the big dudes sort everything out. And one time there was a massive rumble, and I was about to get in the mix, and I think a dude was like, and I was sober, and I was just like, you know what, you got this.

I would let the inmates have the asylum. I didn't want any smoke, dude. You can't have that. I'm a pussy. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. I came to grips with it A long time ago dude

I was born this way It's terrible to not be a pussy But it's It's bad to be a pussy And not realize you are one Oh you have to be aware of it You have to be Well who's not?

What? Aware of that they're a pussy? I think everyone is Oh I think a lot of dudes Everyone in this room Yeah I'm pretty aware of it That's how we got here, though. Being aware that we're pussies.

There's dudes who are just going out to bars in college that are not tough at all, that are getting the shit out of them, and they don't even realize they're a pussy. That's a one-off thing. It happens, and you don't do that again. I don't know. I think that's a thing for some guys.

For pussies, it's a thing to be like, I got in a fight last night. It wasn't really a fight. It was more just they got their ass destroyed. Well, the other interesting dynamic that you have to deal with is always, and this isn't a shot at you, Kyle, because I know you're actually tough, but there is always this short guy who thinks he's tough, and he's got bigger friends.

So he's like, oh, I'll just get into shit, and my bigger friends will get me out of it. I had one of those friends, and I would just always be like, I'm not getting you out of this. Like, I don't want to do this. He would start shit and be like, I got my backup. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, yeah. We're not backing anything.

I'm always very. Bullshit for a bigger guy, though, because people assume that you're a bigger guy. They're like, oh, he can't be a pussy. He's big. Right. Well, you could be a big pussy. I was always the the friend level of like if you're like getting your face beaten and i'll be like enough

come on come on that's where i come on i was actually having this conversation with my friends this week and i was saying i think for me to get to the level of like angry where i would get in a physical altercation with someone, it would be like you wouldn't want it. Like I would probably end up like murdering somebody. Yeah. I wouldn't be playing by the rules because I don't get angry. Right. I would have to be like really mad. Yeah.

And then I'd be like breaking glass and shit going for the throat. Nice. But I don't know what could possibly happen. When you eventually have a child, that will... That's the only thing that could ever get... I will envision if someone struck my

child, the rage I would have. That's pretty much it. Even that, I'd probably just be like, enough! Just going around striking kids. Yeah, if a guy bigger than me hit my kid, I'd just be like, all right, you've done enough. He learned his lesson. Enough.

You look so stupid right now. I think up to like 50 years ago, you could just hit another person's kids. Yeah. No, you could. Like you could just hit a community kid for like acting up. Oh, yeah. If it's a community kid, you could do whatever to a community kid. Because it takes a village.

So you're just like a surrogate parent, you might believe in corporal punishment you're the other parents might not so you just can beat the fuck out of a kid i want to be cats my former in my former life when i worked in real estate i i brought my i brought stella into the office once and uh like one of the older guys like he brought his dog in and Stella growled a little at the dog, and the guy struck my dog. Oh, that would be. But I was in an office setting. I was just like, what the fuck was that?

It was crazy. He was kind of my boss, too. I was like, what did you just do? Show me the strike. What was the hand motion? It was like a. Oh, jeez. Jeez. Yeah.

Psychotic. I couldn't fight him. He was my boss. And then he apologized later. He was like, I shouldn't have done that. I was like, yeah. Shouldn't strike another man's dog he apologized later. He was like, I shouldn't have done that. I was like, yeah. Shouldn't strike another man's dog. That's worse than hitting someone's kid.

His dog. And then I felt bad for his dog because everyone was always like, his dog is so well trained. It's like, yeah, because he beats it. Yeah. It's crazy. He beat his dog. If it's not broke, don't. Yeah, but that also is where I realized I was a pussy because I was like, yeah, enough, dude.

Don't do that we had i had a buddy that uh he just got a dog and he didn't want the dog to be fed human food and one of my friends like gave it like a meatball like just like and he hit my friend he didn't hit the dog he hit him and like smacked him upside his head It was fucking That's funny Cause there's no bad dogs Just bad owners So you just gotta beat

The fuck out of the owners Yeah What did the guy do I would've hit the dog Yeah Chain of command Just a fucking circle Of hitting

It was like a bigger dude That hit him It was our fucking Big dumb friend Fucked up Should we discuss The elephant in the room that Steven dropped a new video? I didn't know that.

Yeah, we should probably watch it. Like a Twitter clip or a full-blown project? Oh, it's a full video, and the genesis of the video started on the yak. Okay, that's true. So we should probably play it, right? I haven't seen it. You haven't?

I have not. What? We haven't. I have one question from the video that Stephen's going to really test Stephen. Who he is. Okay. Are you going to ask it? Well, let's watch the video.

What is this video? Is it you pissing on NFL film? Oh, God. He does always that. No, I didn't get the... If you guys can get me that software, I'd do it. The software? You just need a cock. I need him to get the instant he was talking about.

And then he will telestrate with his hard dick. He needs some hardware. It wasn't agreed to be hard. It was just me peeing with the reflection of it. That's true. It would behoove you if it were hard. It would probably be better for him.

It wasn't agreed to be hard. What do you mean? Every morning? You got morning wood? Yeah. You should get that checked out, brother. I sit down when I do that, though. Morning wood.

You sit down every morning? It's my coffee. If I have a boner at the time of urination. Sit down, tuck it in. Touches the toilet. That's why you have of morning wood. Sit down, tuck it in. Touches the... That's why you have a toilet seat. It's uncomfortable,

but yeah. He slams it in the toilet seat. Morning wood goes away when you start peeing, right? Right,

but why wouldn't you... You don't think you can wrangle... You're not man enough to wrangle your own hard cock? The angle that you have to stand at

is insane. Yeah, you need a stun gun. You just gotta be the boss of it. Need a tranquilizer for that thing. Wait... You just walk around with a stun gun. You just gotta be the boss of it. Need a tranquilizer for that thing. You just walk around with a boner for the first hour of the morning.

Oh, you're not clutching the wall. You're just like, fuck. No, he's right. You're clutching the wall. Oh, you're just like, hey, dick. Shoot there. Oh, you just point it down like that? Yeah. I'm the boss. You let your boner control you. I do, yeah. He let your boner control you. I do, yeah.

He's a hands-off parent. All right, let's play this video. What is this video? How to pee with a buddy that's Steven. All right, so today is the day. 15 years in the making. And I'm going to have my first catch with Stephen Che. A few months ago, I was on the yak. Did you ever have a catch with him?

A catch? Yeah. No, I don't think I've ever. Not like a session, but I'm sure you've thrown a session. You guys should do that. I'm sure I've received a lot of hands. And some of the guys were like, you know, you should do that. You should get together.

You should have your first catch. So here I am. I'm on my way to the field. And I'm not going to lie. I'm nervous. I don't want to, like, embarrass myself. Pause it real quick. This is a callback joke for people who don't remember.

Nick, when we had him on, said that he once saw Stephen just toe tapping by himself. Practicing toe taps on the sideline with no one around in the Hofstra fields. Yeah. Why would you not? Yeah. Why would you not? In case the league shows up, you got to be ready to go.

Exactly. Body control. Okay. Get better if you don't put the work in. I like that though. I like that you've thrown that in that inside joke. What I'm most nervous about though, for 15 years, you think you know somebody. Apparently he wipes from front to back. Back to front? What if he's got shit on the ball or something? Wish me luck. Here we go. Che?

Steven? Hey buddy. Hey buddy. Okay. I've never had more fun at a shoot. Who was doing the camera work? I was doing the camera work. I was doing the camera work. I was doing the camera work. I was doing the camera work.

I was doing the camera work. I was doing the camera work. I was doing the camera work. Okay I've never had more fun In a shoot Who was doing the camera work? Uh tripod Oh nice Nick makes good videos Yeah he does

I think his wrestling videos Very good Alright Zebra Trojan Far west right slot 200 jet smoke X choice, on two, break. Nice. Nice.

Bad throw. All right, I'm done. Good? Steven! I would always go around campus, frequently the football, and ask people to have a catch. Steven motherfucking Smith. Great video, Steven. Oh, God, this fly.

Thank you. So my question is, you want to go back to when he called the play? Yes. You're a football guy. Yeah. So all the terminology is correct. Okay. X choice.

Mm-hmm. That means the X receiver has a choice. They can go deep. They can cut it in. Yeah. You think you'd call an X choice for a means the X receiver has a choice. They can go deep. They can cut it in. Yeah. You think you'd call an X choice for a three-step drop? That makes no sense. Wow.

Wow. Oh, fuck. Is the next throw a three-step drop? I don't know. I mean, if he's got a choice and one of them is to go deep, a three-step drop makes no sense. He could also go short. Right, but it's his choice.

So you're not really giving him a choice when you do a three-step drop. Seriously, is the next throw a three-step drop? I don't know. X choice, yeah. I don't know the next throw in the video. Yeah, yeah, play the next throw. Play the next throw. I mean, there's just the believability of this

video. Wow. It's a three-step drop. That was a three-step drop. That was a three-step drop, and you had X choice on the X receiver. That makes no sense. I threw a seam ball down the middle. On a three-step drop, you'd be sacked, brother.

But the guy wouldn't even get that far. The argument can be made. Yeah, I mean, this is all the magic of editing. What were the safeties doing? On this play, split safeties. You're just not giving your guy enough time to make a choice on a three-step drop. It's a fair

assessment. I don't... In fairness, he did editing and did a great job, I thought. Yeah, I mean, it was a great video until that point, and then I was like, this isn't real. They're not playing a real game here. He just said X choice, and then the guy didn't even have a choice. He's probably five yards down the field on your three-step drop. That's a fair critique.

Okay. So what would you do differently? Probably take a deeper drop. Yeah. I think so, buddy. Yeah. So he actually pitched that idea to me like months ago after that. I just, I mean, he's got to know at this point,

whenever he puts anything out, it's just like, how can I nitpick this? He pitched me that idea after that yak. And so this has been like eight months in the works, but it was more like, yeah, when the weather gets nicer. But when we were out filming, he was like, oh, like oh like you know say a plan like hamming up whatever and i go brother i don't ham anything up this is all the real deal so it was so much fun because we pretty much just played catch and then there was a tripod there which was really fun it looked like fun yeah did you guys play catch after? I wanted to.

We had some time constraints. We actually did something else that I'm going to be putting out next week that's going to be really fun. Who was better? I mean. Between you two, yeah. Who was better? It was obviously him.

Catching the hole. Well, you saw he had a one-handed catch. I didn't see any one-handed catches from Steven. Making sure. Oh, you better watch the video again, buddy. Oh. Damn. Get those U's up.

I got to watch it again. Were you at a one-handed catch? Yep. On a route? There you go, Steven. I had my head down. Did you guys go until you both got one one-handed? No.

No. I mean, when you do it so often, you don't even think about it. It's routine. Steven also unveiled his new golf swing this weekend, which I don't know if you guys know that. So crazy is that you always hear about your phone listening to you and stuff. So I had talked to my buddy about. What the fuck is this? No, this was Tiger Woods' ex-swing coach because I slice the ball all the time.

And I got targeted with an Instagram ad that was like one-shot slice fix. So I was like, all right, let me check this out. It turns out to be this very long video that's only testimonials. I played it on volume. My wife was like, are you going to watch the thing? I was watching for 20 minutes of the guy just being like, yeah, this one-shot fix it. And I was waiting for them to be like, all right, you have to pay $49.99. And I would have done that.

But then I just YouTubed it, and I found it on YouTube. And this was the thing. You basically start. It's a series of drills. So this is like step two, basically. But you start your club on the other side of the ball, and you basically just square up and turn your back. And the ball started going straight.

So I was a big fan. It's a good drive, but I would never do that on the course. What's it then? I might be playing Friday, in which so I was a big fan. It's a good drive, but I would never do that on the course. What's it been? I might be playing Friday, in which case I will be doing that. Really loose feet. Love how loose your feet are. Yeah, people are crushing me for picking it. I mean, I don't know.

Well, you can't golf. Golf is, like, if you put anything golf-related on Twitter, it's just. Yeah, steak, golf. Everything Steven does is things to open him up to criticism. Yeah, that's okay. I'm going to play. I'm playing probably my only round of golf. Actually, I played a couple months ago, but I'm playing Shinnecock,

which is like one of the nicest courses. I'm already planning on filling out a scorecard that has me at like 71, be like, Shinnecock was pretty tough. People are going to flip when I do that. I'm just going to state it right now so the Yak listeners know what I'm doing. Just post a video of your swing too. Yeah, but Yak listeners maybe help me out when I do post that. Be like, yeah, Big Cat can shoot that.

He's that good. Surprisingly good action for Big Cat. Wow. Because that's going to cause a war. Legitimately a tough course. Yeah. I think what I was going to do is get pars and birdies everywhere and then maybe the 18th do a double bogey and be like,

man, was so close, so close to shooting under 70, that 18th really got me. Just give a little believability out there. Please do that. So let me ask you this, and I don't play golf a lot. Really? I don't. Well, lot. Really? I don't. Well, okay, yeah, fair.

No, I really don't. You just did the weirdest swing ever to not slice, which I slice every time, so I'm probably going to try this. I'll send you the video. Yeah, thank you. So I was playing the other week, and it was my first time of the year, and I was playing great, and I shot to be under 100, which was the first time I ever did it.

But then on 17 they turned the sprinklers on. Can they do that like during people playing? Is that like okay? It happened during the British. Really? It happens a lot. Why don't they just do that like in the morning?

It dries out throughout the day. Why don't they just like book a time where they do it 10 minutes apart or whatever? I don't know. It doesn't happen that often. It's a bummer. It's how DJ fucking does it. It's still pretty easy to avoid it. I mean, I'm literally hitting right to the hole.

The sprinklers are going off on the hole. Yeah, it stinks. Did you wind a break in 100? 102, no. Fuck. Damn. How many, uh... How many, like...

Couldn't you just go and say you hit, like, 97? You just lie, right? I don't want to believe you. How many lies did you tell? Never. Not a lie was told that day? No.

Sass, how was that fucking Grand Prix that you went to? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Were you there when they all crashed? It was like top 10 moments of my life to? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Were you there when they all crashed? It was like top ten moments of my life.

You were right there? So fucking fun, dude. Pull it up, TJ. It started so it starts pouring, like, out of nowhere. Everyone crashed. So, yeah, it starts, like, downpouring, and everyone gets into this tent. Wait, question. Do they use, like, windshield wipers when that happens?

No, I think they're... I don't think so. I think they're built for that because they were showing the cameras of it and the cameras look completely eclipsed by rain. You couldn't see it. I have a good video of it.

I don't know if it's going to be... Why? You should have tweeted it. No, because it's not my video. Some dude sent it to me. Ah. So we're all under... They all should have tweeted it.

We're under this tent because it's downpouring like crazy and we're like, everyone's soaking wet and then all of a sudden it's downpouring like crazy. And everyone's soaking wet. And then all of a sudden it's just like where there's a massive explosion. And everyone just starts sprinting over as fast as they can to the crash spot. And it was so sick. What happened to the guys?

They're off. Three of them died. Yeah, three died. Apparently those cars are built to crash. That sport is insane. And Sass is laughing. Post to die, yeah. Like the run over was like the most adrenaline I've felt in a long time.

What's this? Is this the... No, this is in the crash. There was... So it started raining, TJ. I'll send you a video of it, TJ. What is this? The Boy Scouts? Why are they so small?

The cars? What the fuck are these little guys? Ours are the people. The cars. Oh. A little... This is a different crash. Are they that small? Oh, that's the same crash.

That's like the aftermath. That's the bad angle of it. I thought people were like slamming. TJ, can I text it to you? It was annoying as fuck, though. I was trying to watch it on TV, and they were like, DM it to you? The act. They said, we can't finish the race.

And they just cut over to strongman competitions. They cut it off before the race ended. They finished the race with like 10 minutes left. It was already going on for a really long time. But yeah, they finished it because the conditions, I guess, weren't safe for them to continue. That's fucking whack. That's just not fucking sweet at all.

No one won. No, I think it's like whoever was in first at the time that the race ended. Because the top three people all got wiped out in the crash. Yeah, here it is. This is the rain. And they all just started... That's basically the same video as that. That's the explosion.

That's a little bit better. That was the explosion. It was an explosion. Well, they're electric cars. Oh, that's why. Yeah. So there's no gas. Ours were electric. Ours an explosion. Well, they're electric cars. Oh, that's why. Yeah. So there's no gas. Cars were electric.

Cars were electric. Really get a fire. The cars were totally destroyed. That was the explosion? Yeah. That wasn't a great angle. There was a better one. I just sent a better video.

Yeah. Yeah. Here comes the other guy. Yeah. You ever watch those videos of icy like, icy roads when, like, cars can't stop? Like, going down it? Yeah. Pilots.

Yeah. It's an explosion after. It's kind of fucked up, too, because when you're there, you're rooting for a crash. Oh, yeah. You want someone to crash the entire time. Big one. I want, like, a quadruple flip, like, over the fence or something. Yeah.

It was fun as fuck though. People barely die anymore. It's whack, dude. Yeah, it's kind of hard to watch. Pussy shit. These car drivers. It was a blast. Back in my day.

Used to be dangerous as fuck. But yeah, it seemed awesome. Worth it for $15. Wow. Yeah, it was fun. And you saved the environment. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

No guilt. Made me want to go to a real one, though. A real Grand Prix or a real NASCAR? The engines are real loud. Would you have gone to a NASCAR race? Yeah. You should go to Pocono, then. That's not that far.

No, no. Dover's pretty close. Yeah. Isn't there another one upstate New York? Probably. Glenn, no. Glenn Fittich? Glenn Livet?

No, I don't have it in my brain. I don't have it in my brain. Saratoga? Saratoga. Utica? Horse crashes are not as fun. That's like... Big ass explosion.

Watkins Glen? Watkins Glen, that's what it was. Stagecoach crash would be kind of funny. Yeah. Yeah, it would. That would be fucking What's the biggest crash? Like, explosion-wise

or most people? Challenger. The Challenger. Hindenburg, actually. Hindenburg. Size of the crash or a number of casualties? Either or.

Size of the... 1918 market crash. Let's just watch some crashes. The worst ever plane crash was on the runway. Two planes went head on into each other and every

single person died. Whoa. So it's safer to be in the sky than on the runway. No, it was the guy, it was like the control, I

forget what their job is, but the people that like traffic control. Traffic control. It was that guy's fault. He was overworked.

Getting snappy. Oh. Low man wins, or what? I was just watching crashes. Yeah, I pull some of my force, bro. No deaths, no deaths. Some people will be like, oh, someone died. Let's start our way into death.

Let's start with the most boring crash. How about the skidding cars into, like, on a slippery road? Let's play a game. Let's play did they die or did they not die. Let's start with a mild crash. Rex Chapman, block or charge? Yeah. I'm running. Guy gets. Rex Chapman, block or charge? Yeah. Guy gets eaten by a lion, block or charge?

I'm running the compilation of last season's F1 crashes. You want that? Sure. Yeah, we'll see a couple. Yeah, I don't think anyone died. I don't want death. I want to see some morons and real and regular cars. Dude, this morning I was literally watching on Reddit r slash idiots in cars.

And it's just like... You woke up early to do that? It was so... I was literally watching on Reddit r slash idiots in cars. And it's just like. You woke up early to do that? I was like hooked, dude. Yeah, you're addicted to crash. I get like so frustrated because people are so bad at driving. See that one, like the gravel kind of. That's not a good one. Yeah.

What's this one? Oh, this looks like it's going to be awesome. This is the big one when they root for that in NASCAR. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Where was this? Was this Dega? The opening scene of Cars has a huge crash.

Movie? Yeah. I find that to be the worst Pixar movie. What? That movie is amazing. Cars is the worst Pixar movie. Why? Love when Lightning McQueen sticks his tongue out. Yeah.

In that crash. Yeah. Name a worse Pixar movie. Ants. Cars 2. Ants was so good. Ants isn't Pixar. What are all the Pixar movies?

Why would you slander Cars, dude? I didn't like that too much. The slander? Yeah, Cars is great. I'm saying it's the worst Pixar movie. Why would you say that? Well, let me see a list of the Pixar movies. The movie rules.

There's no chin. They're all very good, yeah. Really? Jesus. What's Turning Red? Look at this list. Toy Story, Up, Monsters, Inc., Incredibles, WALL-E. Wait, what's Turning Red?

It's a new Red Panda one. At a two-e. Yeah, you might be right. Bug's Life. Bug's Life was good. Bug's Life rules. He's right. What is Bow? No, that ain't it. Oh, two-y. Yeah, you might be right. Bug's Life. Bug's Life was good. Bug's Life rules. He's right. What is Bow?

No, that ain't it. Oh, Bow was great. Brave. Brave sucks. Brave sucks. I never saw it. Brave sucks. Confirm it sucks.

Yeah, that sucks. That sucks. That's worse than Cars. That's absolutely worse than Cars. I can't speak on it. The Good Dinosaur? No, thanks. No, actually, I think that one might be pretty good.

The fuck is Lava? I think that one might be pretty good. The fuck is lava? I'm pretty sure that goes really good. Soul? Onward. Onward. Was that the soul? Soul was crap. Oh, soul.

We can't. No, but we can. Soul was great. You can't say. That's like saying Black Panther. You didn't like that. You can't say soul was crap. Every YouTube review, like Marvel guy has Black Panther has two.

Yeah, you can't do that. Soul was great. I loved Soul. Soul was good. It sounded like really good. I'm not saying Cars sucks. No, I think you were right. No, you did.

You said Cars sucks. No, he said it's the worst of the Pixar movies. All Pixar movies are very good except for Cars. But Cars is very good. Yeah, it is. Have you seen all three? No. Yeah.

Two sucks. Two sucks. I'm pretty sure Owen Wilson What is this? What is Pearl? What? Ball of an arm? Wait, hold on.

What? Rubber band ball? Owen Wilson tried to kill himself after Cars 2? It was either Cars 2 or Cars 1. Because of Cars? Because of Cars. What?

No, it probably wasn't because of Cars, but that's just how I know. The dark side of Cars? Yeah, there's a dark... It's like the Wizard. It's like Because of cars. What? No, it probably wasn't because of cars, but that's just how I know. The dark side of cars? Yeah, there's a dark. It's like the Wizards. It's like Wizard of Oz. Yeah.

You wanted too much artistic freedom. What is out about a gay guy named Greg? I'm being serious. What is this one? We missed this one in 2012. That's a banger. They tried to sneak this one out during the pandemic. It was so...

We don't watch the trailer for Out... Gay Greg? Who's this? Young Gay Greg? You know what one I didn't... I don't even know if it's Pixar. What was the one

with all the feelings? Inside Out. Inside Out. I didn't love that. It is. It's one with a little too real for me. It's better than Cars.

Yeah, it is too real. Too real. I didn't need to see that shit. That's why your 12-year-old is depressed. Yeah. Kids shouldn't be allowed to watch that movie.

Mommy and Daddy hate each other now. Wait, this is it? This is out? It's a Pixar short film. This is out? Their shorts are even better. Bao is a short. Yeah, Bao's incredible.

It was about non-binary babies. Yeah, he turns into a suit jumper. Just look them in the eyes and say, Mom, Dad, I'm... I'm going to go with this is probably the worst one. Happy moving day! That guy's so gay. His parents definitely knew. Yeah, this is one of those who come out of the closet and they don't even look up for the newspaper.

I like how the dad is just a lumberjack. Yeah, I thought that was the gay kid. He has a big beard. Oh, the dad is a lumberjack. Oh, no. The... I thought that was the gay kid. He has a big beard. Oh, the dad is a lumberjack. Oh, no. The mom is about to... Greg. Oh, we gotta watch out.

Greg. How long is it? We just finished the episode. We're just watching the whole thing. It's like 10, 11 minutes long.

Oh, that's not a fucking movie. It's a Pixar short. Yeah, the Pixar short's... Yeah, they find out he's gay like five minutes into the movie. That was it? Yeah, what a nice climax.

Is Lightyear good? I've heard that was kind of banned in Saudi Arabia. Really? There's guys kissing in it. Yeah, I guess there's toys kissing. That shit's unacceptable. I would be fucking crazy. What's Owen doing?

He's been in and out Yeah he's grinding right now He's got shit going on? Yeah he's got shit going on Yeah he's definitely fucking Owen's always got shit going on He just has a lot of plates spinning He went to the bathroom

Again Do you see the other Che video From him this weekend? No He literally has shit going on Oh no Hidden camera from Kate Oh no

Your new commissioner, Steven Chang. See, I don't really know him that well right now. I'm starting to get to know him a little bit. There's a little controversy going on right now, but we'll figure it out. I'm looking forward to meeting him. That's Mike Trout. That's Mike Trout.

If you play Portnoy head-to-head, we only got the football season in a couple months. I got to worry about my team. All right. Good luck, man. When's the draft? It's funny because the Angels are like the worst team in baseball.

What's behind you, Steven? Is that just a bunch of crabs? What is that? Is that a pizza? Is that a blanket? That looks like a bunch of crabs. It looks like crabs. Are you having a crab lunch?

A bushel of crabs. What the fuck? Bring those crabs in here, bro. Quit crabs. It looks like crabs. Are you having a crab lunch? A bushel of crabs. What the fuck? Bro, bring those crabs in here, bro. Quit playing. Oh, rowback. Use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase. I got a rowback lid on right now, bro. This shit is fucking comfy.

Owen O-Dog is wearing my favorite rowback gear. It's the sweatshirt. Very light. It's perfect for summer nights. Yeah, it's a good fishing sweatshirt, too. Yeah. If you want to fish and not get too much sun, you want to get the arm coverage, but you also want to be boat friendly. Rowback.

The great sweatshirt to come out to your family too. Are these gay? This might be a dumb question. Are those edible? The rowback hoodies? Not the blue ones. The purple ones. You can throw them on the side of the road. The purple ones are.

No, that's not what it says. It's saying that it is edible right here in the copy that you gave us, Stephen. So what a... We don't... We do not advertise anything that you cannot eat on this show. I feel like you're kind of giving us mixed signals here because it says right here that these are edible and it says they're moist to the taste. Yeah.

Not true. A little bit of salt. Nothing about moisture on here? Moisture wicking. Yeah. My only critique about roe back is that they don't put enough salt when they cook them. Yeah. Well, you can salt them yourself.

Salt to taste. That goes without saying. You have to season your own roe back. I like to jerky my roe backs. They're tagless, so they never itch. I hate itchy food. Yeah. It's true. I like to hang mine my Robax. They're tagless, so they never itch. I hate itchy food. I like to hang mine up like biltong. I'll just drape my

Robax over some trees in my yard and it comes back crispy. Biltong Robax. A lot of guys put on they like to add queso. I like a light jam, like a fruit jam. Oh! That's nice. Try that. Yeah. Try that tonight. That's inventive., like a fruit jam. Oh, that's nice.

Try that. Yeah. Try that tonight. That's inventive. That's a little fusion. I want my hamburgers, my cheeseburgers, and breakfast sandwiches. I want a fruity jam. Yeah? Yeah.

What about an egg? And an egg. It's not bad on an egg. Oh, okay. I'm going to try that too. Are your feet floating? Oh, Jesus. Fly. We got to get this fly. Yeah, I'm going to try that, too. Are your feet floating? Oh, Jesus. Fly.

We got to get this fly. Yeah, I'm going to get it. We can't end this show until the fly comes dead. All right. Let's all just go for it. Every man for the... Well, we're doing four hours today anyway. Oh, yeah.

I still got it. Can't talk. I'm going to torture the listeners. You don't got it. Stop hurting my feelings. Where is it? Go back to hurting Sass's feelings. Yeah, please. That didn't bother me. An occasional Owen slight. You don't got it Stop hurting my feelings Where is it? Go back to hurting Sass's feelings Yeah please

That didn't bother me An occasional Owen slight Yeah It was what the ecosystem needs And then the one guy There's always one guy in the Yak comment section It's like Anyone feel like Kate's just like

Kind of ruined the vibe that the boys have? Or I would fuck Kate I like that one guy who's just trying to stand on a podium being like, Kate's not funny, she's a chick. That's going on? There's one or two guys who just try to do that. It's like, dude, I don't know what you can say at this point. Kate is objectively funny.

Come on. Oh, KB's in his fucking striking pose. I know. I'd hate to be a small animal walking around KB's in his fucking striking pose I know I'd hate to be a small animal Walking around KB's neighborhood I haven't seen KB Your vision Oh there it is

He does it by taste He's doing it by echolocation There it is Pounce It is still here It is still here. It is thriving right now. It's now taunting you.

I think using, like, a fucking rowback hat to smack it out of the air might be the way. Oh, oh, here it is. We just gotta... We gotta chill. We gotta chill, because it will start to... Can we... Be comfortable. Can we kill all but one light? Try and get it to one point in the room?

We should smoke it out. That light's a little... Act like you're sleeping. Where is it? You're a comfortable fly. I forgot that there was even a fly in here. I don't even care about the fly anymore. Where the fuck is this fly?

Don't play this. Don't play this. We're glad the fly left. I want to is this fly? Don't play this. Look who had the fly left. I want to kill this fly. I would take a fly under my wing if it were up to me. I would raise it as my own. Dude, doesn't it feel like

there's some people that work here that you haven't seen in a long time? Yeah, there's been a couple people coming and popping up right after vacation, just showing up. How was your vacation? How was yours? For the last two years.

Yeah. Are you allowed to say you don't want people to work from home, or is that fucking workplace? I think it's illegal. It's very illegal. It's on your hair. It's on your head. No, it's gone. It's illegal. Yeah, it's very illegal. It's on your head. It's on your head. It's on your head. No, it's gone.

It's gone. It's gone. Oh, it's... Let's just pop my shoulder. I know. Let's kill myself for it. It's up there. It's up there.

Oh! Smack it. Smack it. This fucking fly. You motherfucker. Get back to the wall. Oh, he is taunting us. Put your eyes on it.

Everyone needs a... There it is. It's behind you. It's behind you is taunting us. Put your eyes on it. Everyone needs help. There it is. It's behind you. It's behind you. It's behind you. It's behind you. Where? There it is.

Where? Ah! I just... You hit it. I hit it. I made contact. It stays right now. We need that.

We need it. There it is. there is he doesn't realize I got another corner it's hiding in the corner over there smoke it out smoke it out oh I got it you got eyes on it wait it's in it's by owens legs. Oh, it just came around. Where the fuck? Where the fuck? Where did he go? Here it is, here it is, here it is.

Behind you, Sass. Behind you, Sass. Oh, it's out there. Where, where, where, where, where? There it is, there it is, there it is. Right there. It's right here. It's right here. I think we gotta just chill And wait for it to come back

Alright alright Cause we're The fly is It's beating us It's beating us Yeah we've made him manic We can't let him own us like this Fuck

We gotta put some alcohol We gotta spill some alcohol So it starts drinking it up Spill some alcohol And it gets drunk And it gets slowed down a little bit Hold on Take your row back off

Put it right in the middle It will go and eat that row back Can we melt a bomb pop? Yeah, we need a bomb pop. We need to cover this entire room in wood. Sticky stuff. We got to get out all the sticky stuff. We should pour some wood just for our own benefit.

Just so we can sort of get down and have a taste when we need. Yeah. Oh, nice. That will weaken it in the air. That's smart. That is so smart, Rowan. That one's fucking good as fuck, too. Sorry I weaken it in the air. That's smart. That was so smart, Rowan. That wasn't fucking good as fuck, too. Sorry, I hit you with that shoe.

Oh, I hit you. Oh, I made contact. I made contact. I made contact. I made contact. I think the hat can flick better than the sneaker. I think the sneaker is going to be... Oh, it just flew.

It just buzzed. Smoke it out, dude! This fucking fly is... This is absolutely insane. I can't even fucking mix it up with the film. He knows, too. It's taunting us because it could easily leave through that minuscule crack in the door. Give it a you can't oh yeah now you can't leave i don't

want to open the door officially now you can't leave for it you got i think we gotta let i just thought he just oh man i was so close i think i touched its wing oh oh yes that had to have weakened it that had to have weakened it on his was on his helmet. No, he's flying now, dude. Yeah, because he's weak. He's freaking out. Oh. He's fucking flying. I need one of those zappers. Get.

Tell Dan to get his gun Come on I will shoot this We gotta get the fuck We gotta get a A high power Here it is Oh Oh you got it

You hit it No Damn it The way you Opened your hand And made me think you had it I did too I thought I had it

It's weak It's weak It's weak. It's weak. It's weak. It's definitely weak. Oh, that weakened it even more. God, it's sad. Sad. Stay on it, sad.

Here we go. It's behind you. It's behind you. Fuck. It's so much weaker now. Yeah. It's gone through so many dusts of Febreze. It says Agent Orange.

This is chemical warfare. God damn this fly. NATO would hate this. This fly is... Oh, no, no, no. It's above you. It's above you. That was a great move, KB. This is chemical warfare God damn this fly NATO would hate this This fly is No no no It's above you It's above you That was a great move

I think it's up by this I think it's among these lights right now Oh I like that though Violent moves Let it know This fucking End is nigh

You know what he's gonna do He's gonna just go die in the corner Like a bitch The Febreze is the main weapon We need to use that I got about half a canister left let's see let's settle in down let's settle in pretend let's faint it'll only fucking get comfortable if we really start yeah we're not going anywhere into a sense of yep all right it'll be as bored as our audience spin the wheel let's spin the wheel oh yeah spin the wheel oh that's spin the wheel. Oh, yeah.

Spin the wheel. Oh, that's waiting. I couldn't kill him. It has. It's waiting. He wants one last wheel before he dies. Content Kim listening on Spotify is going to be so confused. So confused.

She listens? Did you see that picture? No. Going to the mini golf. She was listening to it on Spotify. We actually do decent numbers. I was shocked about the people who listen to it. They're sickos. Perverts, even. I was shocked about the people who listened to it. They're sickos.

Perverts, even. It was crazy. Joey Comast had his ass out at their show. He did? He did. Can I see a picture? Has anyone seen it? No.

Is it right there? Hat whip it. Use your hat to whip it. Get it out of there. Is it just chilling? Hat whip it. Use your hat to whip it. Get it out of there. It's just chilling back there? It's probably going to destroy all the cords in here. Unplug every wire to whack it.

Oh, it came out. It came out. It came out? So it's weak. There it is. There it is. Yeah. Spray them.

Oh, that was close It's gonna be electric Yeah, this is like the fly episode of Breaking Bad That's astute, astute That's very astute Yes KB, shout out, KB wins Reference of the day, sponsored by Roback

Yo Oh, Sass You somehow look so unathletic Get it of the day sponsored by Roback. Yo. Sass, you somehow look so unathletic. Sass, that was the most unathletic run towards a fly. Here it is. He's making you look like a bitch. At least he can see.

I think you hit it, Sass. Oh, my God. If he comes back. Oh my god If he comes back It'd be great if we just like If we made this all up And there wasn't even a fly And no one No one in the audience knew

We're all just collectively Schizophrenic We're all losing our mind I'm like slit It's moving slower I might wheel myself with Febreze. We drank too much wood before this episode. How much is you?

Y'all wood brain. If you drink more than a bottle, it gives you hallucinogenic powers. It's been hit a lot of times. It's gotta go down. I need the CompuBox on this fly. What demographic is best at this?

I don't know. Floor layers. Floor layers have the strong hands to be able to catch it. I think Roan is right. We got to just chill and just try to... Sit down on one of our feet and we can spray the fuck out of it live. Yeah. I don't want to spray.

I wish we had a blowtorch. I would like a blowtorch. Have a fucking... Or have a lighter. Oh, shit. Test it out. Just see what it looks like. I'll do it.

It's on my desk. Oh, shit. You need a lighter. Should we spin the wheel? Can we get the lighter? Can we get a lighter? I want to fucking blowtorch this motherfucker. I've never seen someone do it with Febreze.

I've only seen it with an actual spray. Yeah, with the aerosol. Then someone started a rumor that it could go back in and explode. That ruined all the fun. It's like lighting a fart on fire. The rumor that if you hold your eyes back, they get stuck like that. Yeah, fuck anyone who starts those rumors. There's nothing dangerous in this world.

Right. Stop thinking like there is. Yeah, I remember when someone told me that. I was like, fuck this, man. It was so much fun to do. You were throwing into the fire? No. It's like a bomb.

Really? Crazy. It's like that crash at the... No, no, this is more exciting. Oh, got it. It was more of a you-had-to-be-there moment. Rome was pissed he wasn't there. He was texting me the whole day.

He's like, are you sure I can't get an extra ticket? Yeah, I was begging. He was like, you could probably watch from outside the tent if you sit on somebody else's shoulders. Spin this wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It smells good in here right now, but... A lot of smell.

The fly is like... Oh, is that... No, it's not on the screen. That was the fucking mouse. God damn it. Yeah, I thought that was a fly. Oh, no. Jesus.

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I would have loved a double rats. You got to think more about how we're going to do cast for a week. We should get cast for a week. What? Like, how we're going to get cast for a week. We should do cast for a week. What? How we're going to get the cast on. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, where the fuck?

Where is it? Did you see the video of the guy that was making double ham salads? No, I did not see that. That sounds vile. Can't stop thinking about it. I don't want to say his name That's actually very I like this guy I see people do that with carrots too

For carrots it kind of makes sense Yeah Carrots I've done that before Yeah It would be hard not to eat the ham When it was already in your mouth though Where the fuck is this fly? Is he done flying?

It might be wounded Or like Well I am not leaving this studio Until this fly is dead I know yeah We will get it But breathing in all this Febreze Is

It's getting a lot I feel like I'm in A buzzing sack A Mark Ruffalo movie Fly has won the battle But we win the war Fuck

And it's like You just have to kind of Soften your gaze to be able to take in as wide of a field of vision as possible. I can't do that. I'm afraid that it's gonna die

in the corner and we're never gonna know. It's definitely dead, dude. I think one of us is gonna die from the Febreze before the fucking fly does. Oh, bro. No, no, no.

Wow, I see a bunch of flies now. Yeah. Shit. Late eggs. Where the fuck did it go? I think it's gone. Baby flies. Is it gone?

Flies dying of old age is such bullshit. It shouldn't be allowed to happen, even though what is the lifespan of a fly? They're like mafia bosses. They shouldn't be able to die of old age. Yeah, they got to get whacked. Yeah, they get whacked to go to prison They get shot in the driveway by some fucking son-in-law

Who's got an axe to grind You can't have a mafia boss just dying in his House with his family around There's a made fly Where's this fucking fly? It might be dead I think it's dead Come out and play fly. It might be dead. I think it's dead.

Come out and play. We're going to have to have someone go out and get us a fly. Where's Nick right now? Provincetown. Oh yeah, that's right. It was his dad. Yep. That's a sweet vacation. What's your guys' schedule this week? I'm out Wednesday, possibly Thursday,

possibly Friday. We're out next week. I'm out Friday. possibly Thursday, possibly Friday. We're out next week. I'm out Friday. I'm going to be in Philly tomorrow and Wednesday, but I'm going to come back for the Yak. Okay, so it might be Sass and Owen might be, you know, shouldering lunch the next week and a half. That'll be fun. You guys got this. That'll be good for views.

Yeah, they'll love it. Listen, it's summertime. It's tough. Schedule's tough. Nick doesn't care about this show. I could tell because he went on this fucking vacation. Yeah, that's true. He doesn't give a fuck about this show.

Nick's everyone's favorite. He plays Sassanoan with no episode at all. Nick's everyone's favorite, and you should hear what he says about the fans. Disgusting. He loath of each of them individually and viscerally. Because they're so dumb.

Like they're so, so stupid. And we're like, no dude, they're fucking cool. And he's like, no, I fucking hate them all.

I could fuck any of their girlfriends if I wanted to. Yeah, if anyone comes up with a coin, I'm gonna immediately fuck their girlfriend. That's what he said. In front of them,

he said. He said he'll let them catch him. I mean, the fly is dead. We would have seen it. It has to be. We have no satisfaction. Ooh, check Montana. Maybe it flew

into the tape. Oh, yeah. What? Joe Montana? Oh, yeah. We have fly tape. Where is he? Imagine if Joe Montana caught it. That would be ideal. Is he over there? Where's Brandon's goofy ass?

Mississippi. Arguing with fucking Clemson fans. Yeah, his hair got back to Mississippi too. Did you see that? Yeah. The minute he went back. Really? Yeah.

It's like humidity. He looks like a dumbass. It's awesome. Yeah, I wonder what he's going to do. There will be some return to the wild. It's like a feral hog. Within six weeks, he becomes fully feral. And I think that if he stays out there,

despite his fucking untold riches that he's bringing back there, the richest man in Mississippi, but you can't take it out of him. You think Brandon going back to Mississippi is like a celebrity going to Mexico? Like there's a chance he gets kidnapped? He should. Because he's so rich. If those soggy bottom boys had anything to say about it, they'd be fucking kidnapping him right now down in the Delta.

Brandon, what would the ransom be that we would pay for Brandon if they're like, we kidnapped Brandon? It'd be like a dowry. We're not going to give him back to the Yak. You can't make that happen. How about 40 bucks? I didn't have to pay the fly ransom, so I got 40 bucks for four. Oh, we have to get him and Mintz kidnapped at the same time and have Mintz's ransom be a little more.

Yeah. It should be like way more. Dave's like, I'll pay 10 million for Mintz. Mintz would get Stockholm Syndrome in five seconds and start talking to his captives about his plans. I can't wait for Mince's contract negotiation after Dave said he should be paid 4X. Yeah, I mean, his agent's going to be an absolute pit bull.

Well, his agent is Playboy Marty. Who is a pit bull, by the way. He is. He's a monster. You should have seen it. He had his ass out at Goon Fest, too. Yeah, wait, so what's his Joey pic? Can we see his Joey pic? He had his ass all the way out? All the way. Ew, a lot of people in their audience.

Yeah, Goon Fest. Ape shit. I love the shirts they made. Goon Fest, and it just had one date on it. Yeah, that was funny. What is gooning oh yeah wait by the way speaking of which shout out the wonton don getting oh yeah yeah he's a goon wait did he do it at like uh pop highland oh yeah oh yeah which i mean i would imagine like people could be like oh why would he do that at pop island like i always think whenever

someone's like how could you get engaged there? It's like, I think she knows Donnie pretty well now. I think that he knows her, too. If he got engaged at the Eiffel Tower, she'd be like, what is this? Why aren't we at Popeye Land? What the fuck? This is the least romantic place in the world. Popeye Land seems kind of incredible, though.

They like have dancing Popeyes like on command. It was right on the beach. I wonder why they love Popeye so much. Spinach. American exceptionalism. Canned spinach. Was Popeye just an entire like... Propaganda.

Yeah, propaganda to have kids eat spinach. Because they worked on me. I think I'd be Popeye. Yeah, propaganda is have kids eat spinach. Because they worked on me. I think I'd be Popeye. Yeah. Was he big or did he just have big forearms? He had huge arms. If he was a bouncer, would you let him kick you out? I think Olive Oil was an all-time classic prude.

Never put out. She was a big Karen, dude. She would just be like, get in a fight for me. Yeah, and he would fight and then he'd be like, well, I'm not going to suck my own dick. I got to jerk off. And then his forearm just gets huge. The big ass anchor arms.

Yeah. What a bitch. That was the right punch. What? Fuck that up somehow. Something will turn in and we have to eat popcorn. Oh, here comes his ass. There it is.

So his dick always tucked. Oh, he was fluffing. He was fluffing. No shame. A lot of chicks. Gay guys get all the chicks. Joey hates women. I've never met someone that has a disdain for women as much as he does.

Even just watching Barstool vs. America, he just hated every woman that was involved with it. It was pure, too. Just went watching Barstool vs. America, he just hated every woman that was involved with it. It was pure, too. Just went from one to the next. Hated Hannah. Hated Kelly. Who else was on there? Everyone, Alex? Yeah.

All the girls that were on it. Let's see a picture of Olive Oil. I feel like she wasn't even hot. She was mid. But neither was he, though. I think she was mid. That was he. Over the mid. She was all skin But neither was she, though. No, I think she was mid. No, it was he, though. Lower than mid.

She was all skin and bones. She had no curves. Except for her arms. Yo, look at this bitch. What the fuck? I won't speak on her name. No, I will. Ew, look at her hands.

What is going on? When I said no curves, that was an understatement. Yeah, but Big Cat, look at that hair. Always up. Yeah, that's true. The hair is pretty nice. And you don't have to put it back. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

and Popeye is not exactly a good-looking dude himself. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like an attainable couple goals. Yeah, that's true. They think that Victoria's Secret is the first people to have ugly people be models for it. Dude, that was the whole fucking ethos of Popeye. They're like King of Queens. It's like if you're ugly, just fight Popeye. They're like king of queens. It's like, if you're

ugly, just fight. Even though Romini was hot. Kevin James, just fat-ass Kevin James with a smoke wife. That's how it should be. Yeah. It was just dudes watching him talk back to her like, yeah. Yeah. That's how it should be. He doesn't do anything around the house.

Goals. Fat and stinks professionally. Yeah, he's just a comedy of errors. But she's still there. Is there ever a wife of yours? Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's never been a smart sitcom dad.

And most of them are ugly, except for Modern Family. But he's still an idiot, even being a pretty hot dude. What about Bryan Cranston's Breaking Bad? Is that considered a sitcom? And he's stupid and fucking Malcolm in the Middle. Yeah, that's true. We had Frankie Muniz on PMT today. He was awesome.

Paul Jr. had me geeking. Who? The boy, the disabled boy. Oh, yeah. He was your favorite? He would make me laugh, yeah. So it was a comedy in some ways. Ever been a smart sitcom dad?

They don't make them. Great question. It's not fun. What about the Boy Meets World dad? He felt like he was smart. He was a sharp guy. He was paternal, yeah. Was he?

He was a sharp guy. Oh, because Eric had to be a fucking doofus. Yeah. Alan Matthews. He was a grocery store manager, but he taught a lot of great lessons. There it is. Yeah. Grocery store manager.

Yeah. That's a noble profession. Ray Cyrus. That is a noble profession. How else are you going to eat your fucking groceries? Someone's got to manage the store. That's a good career. Fuck yeah.

They got the office That's also like a power move Because I feel like there's certain jobs Where there's only one office in the entire job Yeah And the grocery store manager is the only office Dude I like a liquor store manager They have like a fucking office that's like surrounded by glass They just are overlooking

They're like a pit boss of the liquor store Yeah like they're a foreman at a factory And they're the only office That's such a power move. It's kind of sweet. No one else has doors. No one else even has a seat. Yeah.

Just my office. That is fucking legendary. Since we're talking professions, I saw this person on the way to work today and it made me stop because I see these guys You saw a prostitute?

I see these guys all the time and I have no idea. Surveyors. What are they serving? I think like that to make the, yeah, to make sure the land is flat. Yeah.

All the lines and like the lots. So what threw me off today was this guy was on the sidewalk and most of the times, I mean, I'll usually see them in the birds, but they're in the street, like kind of checking the edges of the street and like looking at stuff. I don't really know what they're doing,

but yeah, people like plots. Yeah. It's plots of land and like looking at stuff. I don't really know what they're doing, but yeah. It's like plots of land and shit. I don't know what their objective is when they go out every day. Surveying. They're gathering information.

And what if we want to get some new pipes or some shit? If you want to lay some pipe underground. It's like that guy is there doing that because I guess the PNC Bank or whatever is in front of him wants to add in pipes. It might be spies, though. You're right. What did that guy say? What did that first supply say? What did that first supply say?

Dude, are those crabs behind you, bro? They're a Cerberus, Che. They're mapping dimensions of coordinates given to them to ensure that... Right, they're just making sure that the like. Everything is where it says it is. Oh, look at Brandon. Look at that.

Do they work for like Waze or like Google Maps? No. Probably the city or state. Or hired privately to make sure like if they're selling something. They're surveyors. Yeah. It's interesting. No knock on them. We need to get like a children's book

Like Stephen learns the world Yeah and A to Z like jobs of the world You guys all know what they did? Yeah I have no idea what a surveyor does No What that means I mean I lose

Sir is probably a man job Because sir is in the word right? You don't see a lot of women surveyors Herveyors Huh That type of shit Shit You don't see a lot of women surveyors. Herveyors. Huh. That type of shit. Shit.

I fucking hate this fly. This motherfucker just died. Have any of us seen it? It's dead. No, it died. I think Sass killed it. It died. Sass mauled it to death like a bear. He didn't necessarily clap it.

I didn't even know what I was just pawing. Yeah, you were. It was like a dog. It's hoping I made a contact. Kind of did. I mean, we also gassed it. The amount of toxins in my lungs, it was enough to kill a fly. It was the same reaction the first time Sidney Sweeney came on screen.

Yeah, he was just clawing at it. Had to bite his TV screen. Super proud of her with those Emmy nominations. Is Sidney Sweeney the one now? Is she the one? Yeah. Big time. Is she your one?

Big time. She's your number one. Yeah. she the one? Big time. Is she your one? Big time. She's your number one. Yeah. I DM her all the time. Damn. I think my number one's still Daddario. Ooh. I like that pick.

You get lost in those eyes, huh? Mm-hmm. Big time. She saved a turtle the other day, and I was like, whoa. Mine's still AOC, bro. Yeah, she saved a turtle. Can you find that turtle she saved? Mine's still RBG, bro. Turtle Can you find that Turtle she saved? Mine's still RBG bro

Queen Queen dead or alive That's always been my number one Kyle yours is Girl boss Oh it's Brandon's wife Bad tits Such big tits

That's who was dancing at DJ's Still Brandon's wife, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And nothing's ever goaded. Big old titties. Big titties. We have our phone. He's got to get his goofy ass back here if he wants to.

Defend his honor. But he won't. But he won't. So long. Family's honor. He's already feeling out of the loop on things. What'd he say? He was just texting me the other day because there's some stuff going on behind the scenes.

And he was just like, I don't like getting left out of the loop. It's like, well, you're not here. Yeah. He also missed a meeting. I was mad at him. Oh, no. To do what? Probably pound that wife.

I don't know if we can talk about it on there yet. I'll talk about it. I'm producing the pro football football show this year. Oh, what? cool, TJ. What? Wait, but why was he part of that meeting? Because I'm probably moving off of Pick Central and or Brandon Walker's show. Oh.

Power moves from TJ. So he must be pissed about that. I think he's just concerned that people are ignoring him while he's gone. Well, that's not new. If he was here, that would be the same concern. TJ, you're a beast. You're just fucking running too fast, dude. You're running so fast, they're going to give you that false start.

So he's insecure that your career is moving a lot more swiftly than his? And I have 18 years of time on him. Damn, he'll never do pro football content. He only does college football content. So, TJ, you ready for that? Yeah. Pro football, football show? It's going to be fun.

Just so you know, my schedule doesn't matter. It's all about Dave's? Dave and Dion. It's very funny. They'll just be like... Prime back in the mix? Can you do like 7 p.m. on this? I'm like, no, forget it.

I'll do it. Because I know. I just know that my schedule is not the priority when it comes to those two. I just want to affect this show as little as possible. Thank you. Fuck yes. That's our C2 it, brother. TJ is the opposite of Nick.

He respects the fans. Loves them. Nick, on the other hand. Hate loathes them. I think he's a bane of my existence. I think Nick said, to quote Hitler, they're the bane of my I think Nick said to quote Hitler they're the bane of my existence they really bring him down

you wouldn't nut on them if they were on fire they're girlfriends no probably not damn that's gonna be fucking sick TJ is Dion gonna be in studio I don't know I think probably not because of his schedule during the fall it's gonna be tough

they're gonna be good this year I think probably not because of his schedule during the fall. It's going to be tough. They're going to be good this year. Are they? I think they're going to be fucking incredible. I think that they need to go undefeated. Open quarterback competition? No, brother. Epitism at its finest.

It's a D1 athlete at quarterback. He should be getting pro looks after this year. Fuck yes. I'd like to see them play Troy. Yeah? Why? It'd be a good matchup. I tend to agree. Yeah, their bands go head to head. I gotta see some of those HBCU bands. That is the show. Yeah. I would love to go to a game.

Oh yeah. Are there gonna be traveling shows this year or is that too much? Well, the college football show. Oh, college. college yeah we have we have a lot of dates already set yeah ron take me to like one of the games me penn state or something that looked fun i would bro i i tried to take sass to a penn state game and he was like this is boring i have to stand ron likes his team that's not at all what happened and we were like such a weirdo

and we were sitting down and i wasn't saying it was weird that you liked the team. It was just funny because no one else really gave a fuck and Rowan was going full like... What do you mean? You're saying in all of Happy Valley, no one gave a fuck? No, because of the squad that we were with. Who were we rolling with? Who were you rolling with?

A couple of good time guys. Rowan's being a negative Nancy. Negative? I was cheering for the team. And they called turnover on downs after three downs. I was like, that's third down. I was right. Who was that against? I remember that.

From literally the last row in the entire stadium. Well. And it rippled through the entire stadium. Eventually, they're fucking. For her to see something, say something? Exactly. Is she going to let that go by? He's just letting fucking people toy with his suitcases at the airport.

I was busting his balls. I was busting his balls. Very fucking funny, dude. I remember that. I remember that. That shit was not fucking funny. You don't mess with Penn State. You don't mess with Joe Pup. Dude behind us was having a... He was howling laughing. Yeah. There's no better feeling than being the funny

guy in a section. Oh, we were dissing the fuck out of Roan. The worst is though, the guy who gets one joke off and he just tries too hard. Oh, this is open mic now. Oh yeah, that was basically me. Yeah, that was Sass

who was joking about everything. There was a guy behind us asleep and then he woke up and he was like, Sass and Roan? And we were like, what the, remember that?

We just put him back to bed. Back to bed? And we woke up, when he woke up again we were gone. Oh man Is that a dream?

Yeah No one will believe you Dude I was at a I was at an IHOP A couple Like a month ago Like really late And this kid was

Like blackout drunk Asleep on the floor of IHOP And they're like dragging him out And I woke up the next morning He was like Yo what's up dude We met last night I was the guy

I was the guy I was the guy at IHOP. I was like, dude, that had to have been a low moment of your life. Why would you bring it back up? Like the waiters dragging him out of IHOP. By his feet. He met you. Did he actually meet you during this process?

I think I was looking at him. I was standing over him. We never spoke. And then he was like, yo, what's up, dude? I was checking his pulse. Yeah. Good to meet you. this process yeah i think i was like looking at him i was like standing over him we never spoke and then he was like yo what's up dude i check in his pulse yeah good to meet you that's fucking great he literally like he just like was sitting in a booth got down and just laid on the floor and fell asleep i kind of respect that move yeah get tired at ihop there was so much tension at the ihop uh by my school because it was open 24 7 but the only people there were like on drugs or very fucked up from the night or cops just getting coffee oh that's always a situation these 20 cops there

they just let them have free booths and coffee but yeah it was interesting that is dope i hop i feel like when i was very young was like a respectable establishment and then by the time i got older was like a trash pit. Oh yeah, it's Walmart. Yeah, is that just something you realize as you get older or has it gone downhill? I don't hate IHOP. I also think that it just,

it's one of those places that when everyone just starts using it as the acronym, it loses its luster. Like International House of Pancakes. That's illustrious.

That is, that is a beautiful place. You walk in and it's like land before time. They tried going to IHOP a couple years ago. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. It's illustrious. That is a beautiful place. You walk in and it's like land before time. They tried going to IHOP a couple years ago. I think that was a joke.

That was good fun. I hate to break this to you guys, but you got caught. You were a victim of advertising, which doesn't work. It's always before I was in the industry. I'll explain it to you how you guys got caught. The plan was IHOP. They backtracked. It didn't work.

They were like, oh, that was a prank. But it was on April Fool's? Yeah, I couldn't tell. Because everyone changes to International House of Beans. That's what was going around for a while.

They actually were trying to become International House of Burgers? No, it was probably April Fool's. Yeah, fuck. But they sell burgers there. Well, I got caught on the guy. I got a burger there

when I was there. It's good. It's amazing. Back to the guy who was laying down. There's no better feeling when you're so drunk in that first lay down. Just give up. You're like, all right.

Yeah. You can't be doing that on the floor of an IHOP. No, that's the best. Yeah. When you're like, I don't give a shit where it is. I'm going to lie down and be like. And that's it. Like, I won't wake up.

Like, I'm just going to lay down. That first lay down when you're super drunk. Oh, I don't wake up. Like, I'm just going to lay down. That first lay down when you're super drunk. I kind of disagree. If you're not in the right spot, then you start getting the spins bad. And you lay down like that. Do you guys ever have the... My problem is, like, at night, it would be like 10 o'clock at night. I'd be like, oh, I should probably go up to bed because there's nothing on.

And I just can't physically get up for, like, an hour. I'll just lay there. That happen to anyone? Yes. Definitely. And you'll just waste time doing absolutely nothing. Yeah. It's impossible to get up sometimes. You're just getting your hips off the couch is the most important thing. Yeah.

Just raising your hips just a little bit. Or you just fall asleep on the couch. That's not bad either. But I got contact lenses. Yeah. You're beta beta Sucks dude I can just go to sleep anywhere Yeah It's so sweet

My four eyes Don't have to worry about it I'm afraid to fucking reveal to the world I'm gonna get LASIK You don't even need it? Nah Just to run up the score Just get laser eyes

Just so you don't Run up the score Like all you fucking four-eyed geeks. I got LASIK. I didn't even need it. You have perfect vision and you scar your fresh tissue just to fucking prove a point. To get even more perfect. Yeah, I'm about to get Tommy John surgery on my healthy elbow.

Yeah. You should get a bunch of unnoticeable elective surgeries. I'll be sick. I'm going to get liposuction. Everything. I would love to have liposuction. Kanye gets it. Does he? He's like, I didn't have time to work out. I would love to have liposuction. Kanye gets it. Does he?

Isn't that how his mom died? Isn't he really bad for you? He's getting something different cosmetic. That's how Joan Rivers got got. I had a teacher in high school who would get liposuction every year, and then he would have seizures and strokes constantly. Whoa. Because your body is still not healthy.

You just sucked all the fat out of it. wow what a shot at rob kardashian damn that's brutal now that or rob that rules remember when rob there was a story yeah this is right after the wedding rob uh he flew home because he couldn't fit in the suit it was just like you gotta wear this suit and he's like it won't fit and he just left i'm pretty like, you got to wear this suit. And he's like, it won't fit. And then he just left. I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Wait, what does it say? I got to lay my foot on the side

because I didn't want you all to call me fat like you called Rob at the wedding and made him fly home. Yes. Yes. He was in. He had to buy two seats with his fat ass. He was in France.

And they're like, here, Rob, here's your suit. France. And he was like, I don't fit in it. And they're like, well, you got to wear it. The next line is, they gave me opioids. I started taking two of them and then driving to work on the opioids. Oh. That's why his tour got canceled and he went crazy that one time.

That's like an undisclosed dose, I guess. Yeah, two. Two? It was two. Yeah, I just took two. He prescribed two opioids. People are fat in France. Yeah, like, what if they were five milligrams? Yeah, what's... He prescribed me two opioids. People are fat in France.

Yeah, like what if they were five milligrams? That's not telling us anything. Or two Oxy-80s. That's the whole gamut he just ran. He killed me every day. You guys watch Dope Sick? Yes. A handful of heroin. Fucked up.

That show was amazing. That one sucked. It was good, but it's... Is dying under cosmetic surgery, is that the worst way to die? Because it's like everyone hears that you died complications from surgery, and they're like, oh no, it was for their lips.

There's literally no suffering involved. Right, but everyone laughs at you. They're like, oh, that's how you died? That is a tough way to go. You needed the lips, huh? Yeah, right. You could have just stopped at the fucking tits and the ass. You had to go for the lips and boom, you're dead.

Guys can get lips. Dan Cook. Did he get his lips? Oh, yeah. I have luscious lips. I don't need that shit. That's a fucking. I'll kiss the fuck out of that.

Blessings are pillows. Look at these. That's an old KFC radio question of like, what would you, how would you survive in prison? I was like, see these lips? Kiss the fuck out of everyone.

Dude, you can brush your teeth as much as you want. You always taste like wood too. Yeah. Can I kiss you? Yeah, it's on my beard. You got wood on your breath.

You come home. My kids, my kids always, they run to their rooms when they, when they smell wood on their daddy's breath. Oh, no. Belt's coming out. He's been drinking conditioner all day. Oh, no.

They know not to fucking pick. They know my dinner better be on the fucking table when I come home and there's wood on my breath. You got a medium rare row back. On the plate in a glass of wood. It's back on the bottle. Oh, shit. They had to take my car keys away. Looks normal to me.

Yeah, it looks totally normal. It looks healthy. Dude, what looks totally normal. It looks healthy. Dude, what is... Yeah. It looks good and healthy. See, that's one of those things where I think that people, like, they get cosmic surgery and they get, they cheap out on one, and then you got to keep getting it to correct it,

and then you end up like that. I just don't get, like, Dan Cook was a good-looking guy. Why was he getting any surgery to begin with? He looks completely different. He can always be hotter. He's a system, bro. be hotter. Hollywood narcissism wheel. We should do Botox as a show.

That would be kind of cool. If we all just had smooth faces. Season 9. I think didn't out and about do that. Did they? Yeah.

No they did cum facials I think. Oh. Remember like Fights got a cum facial. Yeah they did Botox on the show.

Shit. Alright another idea. Look at Pete in his fucking Look at one picture of Dan Cook like fights got a cum facial. Yeah, they did. Botox on the show. Yeah. Shit. All right. Another idea. Look at Pete. Look at one picture of Dan Cook and you're snatching bits. Look at Pete

in his fucking boot cut jeans. What a loser. Who wears those in 2022? Are we allowed to talk about Efron's new face or no?

No. No. No. Friend of ours. And also, I think he like didn't get in a car accident or something Whoa

He looked He didn't even smile Like swallowed You know what I'm going to defend Dane Cook in this one His brother robbed all of his money from him I wouldn't afford Yeah right He also was very funny before his

Career collapsed Well his brother robbed all his money Such a wild story Yeah, right. And he also was very funny before his career collapsed. Well, his brother robbed all his money. Yeah, and he stole a bunch of jokes. Such a wild story. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, you can't trust anybody in this world. No, you can't. Not even your brother.

You can't trust anyone. Only yourself. Dude, I watched some of the first episodes of Barstool's Most Dangerous Game Show, and it's so good. When is it coming out? When is it coming out? Gimme, gimme, gimme. Maybe tell Jerry who won

so he can spoil it. Yeah, I know. It's incredible. I don't know if it's out when it's coming out yet. So I don't know if I'm allowed to say, but I think it's very soon. Excited. It's just fucking incredible, dude.

It's just so good. I can't wait to see Sass in that element. Yeah, Sass out in the wild. Never seen a wild Sasquatch. Not interested. Looking forward to seeing you host, Ron. Oh, yeah. That's the best part of it.

That's going to be great. Hell of a host. Dude, it's a Hell of a host. Incredible. A hell of a host. Sass even says that in the first episode. Host is balls off. Getting people to reveal their secrets and shit is fucking deep dude. Look at them. Look at these jeans.

Like Michael Jordan on draft day. Old Navy called. They want their jeans back. Bitch. Kirk Heinrich on draft day probably more would be more accurate kirk heimerich kirk the beacon but that uh that podcast jesus video oh my god he's saying that whole entire show looked incredible i loved that incredible him jumping up on the banister and then someone actually was like this is uncalled for like knowing his like personal demons or something it I was like, what the fuck?

Shut the fuck up, dude. Also, if he was going to do anything to himself, that would have been... A great way to go out. A great way to go out. Absolutely. You literally were just Jesus. Watching your favorite podcast host crucify

himself to death. Holy fuck. That's a night I'll never forget. Oh, but the live band, too, looked like an insane night. And people used to do crazy stage dives. Didn't that dude, like,

Watsky almost kill somebody or something with a stage dive? Fast rapper. Yeah, remember Watsky? And he, like, stage dived from, like, he was the rafters of a fucking stadium.

And he, like, almost killed a woman. Back in the Barstool Blackout days, I staged over, and I'm pretty sure I injured someone very badly. It used to be, like, a thing where people would try to do it from, like, super high heights. Like, Lil Uzi was, like, flipping from fucking, like, stacks of speakers and shit like that. You really got to hope your fans love you. Yeah.

Like, just from the stage. Have you ever seen the video of the XXXTentacion, and they're swinging him, and then they throw him, and he just hits the fucking, like, the barrier between the fans. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh. Fuck. That's tough.

That's got to hurt the ego. That was fucking tough. All right. Yeah. We were approached with a show idea for later this week, if you're interested. Okay. Are you familiar with Whatnot? Yes.

The auctioning app? Oh, yes. Someone said that to me. I'm not going to be here later this week. Yeah, they want to do Thursday. We can do it without me. I have no problem with that. Is it a money thing? Basically, the concept would be everybody brings stuff in, and we can auction it without me. I have no problem with that. Is it a money thing?

Basically, the concept would be everybody brings stuff in, and we can auction it off, and the fans can bid on it live, and the money goes to the Barstool Fund. Okay, so I can provide things if you guys want to do it. Wait, they want us to do charity on this show, dude? Charity? Fuck. How about we do it for our own pockets?

What, dude? Hooker named Charity and Saskin Fucker? That sounds way better. How does that what, dude? Hooker named Charity and Saskin Fucker? That sounds way better. How does that sound, Sas? Sorry, I zoned out for a second. Yeah, we know. We just now require you

to have public sex on this show with a woman you will pay for. You keep your shirt on. I hate it. As long as I can keep the shirt on.

I want the sweatshirt on, too. Yeah. Sweatshirt, no pants. Let me see that dick. Again? Not again. It's super flat.

Okay, don't do this. No, it is. I saw it. I know it is. It was like a fucking cracker. Like a tapeworm. It was wild. It looks like a Capri Sun with all the liquid sucked out of it.

Yeah, Sass was like, you guys want to play quarters on my dick. Like OK. That's how flat it is. I mean you we could have gotten like a seven car pile up on that

highway because your head was completely turned around on the highway looking he was squinting so hard to see it. What is it there.

Are you sure that's it. Microscope. Looks like an index card. Oh, we got the containers in here. Oh, hell no. Get this guy out of here.

Containers on a Monday. That's trouble. Orange containers. You know what's in there. How about D-Lo wearing flip-flops through the office? He's still on shore mode. He's on shore mode also. Going right back to the shore?

It's like raining. He's on shore mode. You don't's on shore mode also. Going right back to the shore? It's like raining. He's on shore mode. You don't wear flip flops in the rain. Nah. You don't wear flip flops in, if you're not within like five miles of the beach. Can't do it. Or maybe weekend as well you can wear them.

Wear some Birkenstocks and socks. Yeah. Some socks. Yeah, that's the fucking, that's the way. My son rocks Crocs and socks. One of the worst looks of all time. Looks like such a doofus.

Yeah, no, it's so bad, dude. He's such a doofus looking when he wears them. Yeah, but the Crocs and the socks. Come on. Nah, that's a bad look. He's good. As long as he's smoking cigarettes while he's doing it.

As long as he's doing something tough. See, he's doing it. As long as he's doing something tough. See, he's just taking shots of wood. Yeah. Getting tattoos. Fighting on the playground. Can't wait for your son to take a little bit of each wood bottle so you don't notice it's replaced. Yeah, replace it with water.

Yeah, just a tiny bit of alcohol so you can't taste the difference. He puts a little Pert Plus in it. The fucking non-alcoholic stuff. Someone's been fucking drinking my wood. What the fuck? Cracked a whip. Who's been drinking my conditioner? Yeah, no, I don't shower anymore.

I just drink wood. It's great. Cleanse you from the inside. Yep. Get your pores right. Yep. My whole body smells good. I feel better in every aspect of my life.

Yep. Well, I just have to drink it right as soon as I wake up so I don't get the shakes. John Kelly shaved his beard. That's weird. Oh, no. I knew something was different about it. That's weird. I don't like that.

I don't like guys who just change their entire facial hair look in one swoop. Goodness protection. Especially when they pull it off. Yeah, he does kind of pull it off. He's a good looking guy. Probably our best. He's one of the best. Honestly.

We should do a hot ranking. He's a good looking guy. Probably our best. He's one of the best looking guys. We should do a hot ranking. We've done that a lot. I know Stu did it. It was an anniversary present for his wife. It's true. She did ask for it. Happy anniversary to my wife. They fuck better when there is a list.

Hottest women at the office. Number one, mommy. She gave me my first hand job. He did say that. One of the greatest tweets of all time. He said what? You're not here when we went through that with Spratt. That was the hungover episode.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You were on your way to France. I'm pussyed out. He couldn't face the lens like the rest of us. There's a dude's tweet where he talks about his first hand job and he's like, my mommy at the end. It's just a picture of him and his mom. And it's like, if you read it, you're like, did your mom jerk you off? You do anything with it.

Just a story about his first hand job and then just a picture of him and his mom. But the picture is not connected to the caption at all. But it makes you think it might be. Yeah. That actually would be kind of like a pretty cool move, right? Like, I want to make sure that you don't miss out, so I'm going to give you a handjob, my mommy. Yeah, that would be cool as fuck.

Yeah. It's like, I don't want you to be the last kid in middle school to not have a handjob. Let's just take care of this right now. Pass me that wood. Let's get loose first. Inhibitions down. Wood does double down as a

lubric. 14 years old. Got my first handjob at my brother's bar mitzvah. When I came, I almost passed out. What a mess. My mommy. Is that him at 14? The reading of that is just... How could you think of anything else? Why does he talk... I love Stu.

He's the fucking best. There's no one like him on Earth. No one. I can't get enough. I simply can't get enough. Even... I was about to watch the stool scenes that you guys just go out to eat just so I

could get some more stool in my life. Wait, what did he say about that? He was like, yeah, it was so funny. Are we going to do this lunch? Are we going to retweet each other? He was so concerned about how we were going to broadcast. Are we going to be doing stories? Are we going to be doing retweets?

What are we thinking? I was like, dude, why don't we just go to lunch? Yeah. No, that's not what it's about. He ordered so much. He's very conservative when the cameras aren't on. Not in this life. It was like a dude, why don't we just go to lunch? Yeah. No, that's not what it's about. He ordered so much. He's very conservative when the cameras aren't on. It was like a $1,000 lunch. It was 1130 in the morning and he started with the seafood tower.

I don't remember that. We're not even open yet. He doesn't go to places that don't have seafood towers. Great steak. But yeah, he took me for every, really made the lunch worth it for him. I don't remember the last time I went out to get food without stool scenes being there.

It's impossible to flex without them being there. I can't believe I had to pay for their ticket to come to France with me. Should be coming out, though. Should be coming out soon. Yep. I like crab cakes. Giggled in the back there. I like, uh,

if you want to get maybe a shrimp cocktail. What else do you want? You want some bacon? Should we get some bacon? I want to get the, um, seafood trio, which is three levels of cold seafood. He also was so hot. I'm not a big tower guy, but get it. Much for me.

Just for me. Can we have another bread, please, and thank you? Please and thank you. You can put it on the shelf. Damn, it's great. How many people was it? It was me, Rudy, Jerry, and Stu. Let them eat bread.

I'm going to eat five more. That's the rules for Rudy. Before I eat a fucking thing. I couldn't eat. He had to just film. The three of them ate. Yeah. No, he ate as well.

He was just working. He's just a pure bread glutton, and I love it. Oh, yeah. No, he does everything to the max. Yeah. No, he ate as well. He was just working. He's just a purebred glutton, and I love it. Oh, yeah. No, he does everything to the max. There's no like, hey, let's just get a little soup and salad. No, no, no. I want all the salads. I want all the soups.

I want all the sandwiches. He's had to go to the hospital before, right? Oh, yeah. Because of overeating? Oh, yeah. The clip where he's out with Caleb, and Caleb's interviewing him about being the horniest gambler, and Caleb's asking a question and he eats the piece of cheesecake while the question's

being asked. He eats the entire piece of cheesecake in like three massive bites. Have you ever heard those stories of the women who didn't know they were pregnant deliver a baby? Yeah. That happened with him. He shit a full butterball turkey out. He's a full frozen.

He could play every victim in Seven Like he could be every character Like Kevin Spacey He overindulges in every part of his life John Doe would be so confused It's great though For many things He'll just be like

What do I even write on the wall? He'll do like Instagram stories in the weekend Where he'll be like We got the best food ever. It's just like the most basic food. Sometimes it is. That's always just like 7,000 egg sandwiches.

But it's the best. And it's the best to him. He enjoys everything. He loves it. The greatest, yeah, the greatest tuna sandwich ever. Like any Long Island bagel place is good enough for him to put down 24 of them, I feel. Corruption and just a... He's got his arm in a sling. The gray area of the legality

of gambling as a whole. You have to admit that it's like a zoo in a lot of ways. What animal would you see yourself as in that scenario? What animal is still see yourself as in that scenario? What animal is Stu Feiner? In the zoo.

I think an elephant. My nose could be eaten as a looking clip. There's no question that everything eventually comes back to sex for Stu Finer. Oh, I thought I just saw the fly. No, I swear to God.

I swear to God. I thought I saw it. It is one of those things where you start seeing, you're seeing ghosts. You're like Sam Darnold. Just rustle up, like rustle up over there. Sass,

make a commotion over there. Yeah, Sass. Do some snow angels. I don't want this fly to... Just make a quick commotion. That wasn't... Move your whole body. Well, I'm trying to get it because it was behind the TV last time.

Rustle those papers and stuff. Oh, shit. It is back. No. I think I just saw it. I think I saw it. Oh, God. There it is. There it is. Right it. I think I saw it. Oh, God. There it is.

There it is. Right there. Right there. Where? I swear to God. Owen, did you see it? I saw it. Where the fuck did it just go?

Dude, it was absolutely right there. It must have been behind the TV. God damn it. Make a commotion. Oh. No. That was a piece of fuzz. God damn it. Make a commotion. Oh. No, that was a piece of fuzz. No, it wasn't. Yeah, huh.

We could get Febreze to death. There it is right there. Right there, right above your head. No, is that a different fly? Is that a spawn? It might be, but there was a fly right above KB's head right there That might be son of fly Yeah rustle up

Make a commotion That was nice we just like We had a lull A nice 40 minute riff Yeah cause we really We did we kind of lulled ourselves Now you're creating fuzzers now. Close the door.

Fuck. God damn it, dude. This fly has us hostage right now. Where's Owen going? Is he going to the bathroom again? I'm starting to get worried about it. Yeah, he's definitely doing lines. Yeah. He's definitely crushing gator tails.

What do you think it feels like to just do like Coke sober? It's not bad. Not too bad. It'll kind of curb your appetite. Last Tuesday wasn't that.

It was before breakfast but you know what I mean? You still can muscle down like half a bagel and get yourself going. We should ask Stu, if anyone knows. Stu.

He must have done so much coke in the 80s. Oh my god. Oh my god. Poor guy probably can't do that much coke anymore. He does a lot, but not as much. He went from the bathroom, now he's going long. I wish we had the bug zapper.

Or one of those... Oh, is he snacking? Oh, he's going. He went from the bathroom. Now he's going long. I wish we had the bug zapper. Or one of those... Oh, is he snacking? Oh, he's good. Oh, he's strapping. He's getting something up his sleeve. Get the get, get the get. I don't know if it's dead now. I don't know if it's...

Take this 40 to the neck. Let's go. No, no, no. That's you, baby. Is it loaded? Safety on or off? Always off. Bad gun etiquette.

I have a gel blaster stored somewhere if you need it. So it wasn't loaded. I'm not sure you saw it. So there's nothing in the chamber there. I didn't see shit. I didn't see shit. Are you sure? Owen saw it. I didn't see shit. Are you sure? Owen saw it.

I saw it. I feel like I might have seen it, too. You guys have been having wood all day, though. Seeing things. I've been having... It's better you just don't say. Say it. What have you been having?

Babies? What have you been having? Nothing. Say it. What have you been having? Babies? What have you been having? Nothing. Say it. Oh, there it is. Oh, and strongly. Right here, right here. This different one.

It's a different. It's a tiny fly. You see it? I think it spawned a fly. It's a tiny one. It's tiny. Yeah, that's a. Dude, it gave birth, I think.

That's what I mean. It probably was his dying wish. Next of kin. There it is. It's like Kill Bill. Slayed the beast. We're on to it. Right there, his dying wish. Next of kin. There it is. It's like Kill Bill. Slayed the beast. We're on to it. Right there.

Right above you. Right. Right. See it. See it. See it. See it. See it.

See it. See it. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. You do lose it in the lights. This is fucked.

I'm getting so hungry. I'm probably going to eat it. You see, Edward Snowden was tweeting out today that we're all going to eat the crickets eventually. Like, you're not going to be able to not eat it. You're not going to. I've been saying that for a Gazz has already started eating them. You see that picture that he posted? Yeah.

What? So fucking gross. What was it? Gazz posted some, like, meal picture, and it was, like, just, like, bugs. What? I see it. Yeah, go to Gazz's Twitter.

Gazz eating bugs? Snowden was talking about... Who's got the longest tongue in the office? That's all you doesn't. Is it who you were hiding from on Friday? That's why you were hiding? Tongue couldn't even reach through your whole ass to the asshole. Tell me who doesn't.

I was getting this. Tell me who doesn't have the longest tongue in the office. Clebono. Clebono. I want to see this picture. Remember when the Mariners started selling crickets? I was like, oh my God, this is so cool. Snowden said they're going to be in Hot Pockets and going to be pizza toppings.

Your kids are going to be clamoring. I would say that the Hot Pockets I would eat it in. All right. Oh, I see. So wait, what did he say? I would say that the Hot Pockets I would eat it in. All right. Look at this meat. Oh, I see him. So wait, what did he say? All part of the liberal world order. Wait, he actually ate crickets?

They're like winning food competitions. They put crickets on everything. What the fuck? He ate that? That's like some people just shouldn't be rich. He shouldn't be buying that. What the fuck? Oh, it's gonna be for poor people.

Gaz didn't eat that. I know Gaz. Gaz has the palate of a fucking five-year-old. No, he did not eat that. No chance. Is that refried beans? Gaz eats chicken fingers and hamburgers. All part of the plan.

Anymore he doesn't. Liberal world order. Jack Mack really doesn't. Liberal world order. Jack Mack really doesn't get enough credit for just, he's got some shocking takes. He does. I respect it, though. I actually genuinely like Jack because I think you need a shocking takes guy. You need someone who's going to think completely different than everyone else. Well, the public opinion sways a pendulum at all times.

And he just stays where he's at. He's right half the time and he's wrong half the time. Yeah. I appreciate what he does. He's a TikTok journalist, too. Facts. He made Zach Wilson be a baby back bitch. Here he comes.

Alright, let's end with a little bug talk. I want to hear what he has to say. Jack. Let's talk, brother. Got a bag of bugs in there? He does. Jack, we started talking about bugs. Can you just tell us real quick what's going to happen?

I was just saying, Edward Snowden's tweeting out today that fucking, he said that people are like, oh, I just won't eat the crickets. And he was like, no, your kids are going to be clamoring for the crickets. They're going to be in the hot pockets. They're going to be on the fucking pizza. Yep. And I said that you have shocking takes, but that's why I like you, because we need a shocking takes guy.

All right. I've been talking about the bugs for a year now. Okay. That's totally normal. Confirmed. And this is one of the most right I've ever been about something. They are going to make your kids eat bugs. They're already putting bugs in candy.

Why? Your kids are going to go around for almost in 10 to 20 years, and it's just going to be candy bugs. What is this? It's going to be Raisinets, but with cockroaches. Why? Because bugs are easy to make, and they don't want you on. Why would they want us on bugs?

Because your testosterone will go down. Your willingness to take over the new world order will go down when you have no energy. You get energy from meat. So they're going to take away the meat and replace it with bugs. Who eats bugs? Think about it.

There it is. Who eats bugs? Lizards. And what do lizards do? They bask in the sun on the rock all day. They don't fucking move. Relax, lay down, just have a good time. Crickets?

Yes, please take over everything from me. Take over what I want from my family, from how I want to teach my kids. What do you think about Snowden is saying? He's getting sassy. Oh, you're going to eat the crickets, brother. Oh, shit. You're going to be everywhere. So you're right, Jack.

You've been right. You're going to put them in hot dogs. I've been talking about the bugs for a while. Are you woke on superfoods like quinoa, kale, avocado, etc.? Those are cool. What do you eat? Well, I eat too much, but I like to eat meat.

Nothing with crickets, though. No crickets. No cricket meat. Yeah, meat. Paws. Paws. A lot of meat. So they're going to make us eat bugs?

Yes. What if we don't want to eat bugs? It doesn't matter. You're going to eat them, brother. Did you see what's going on in Denmark? They're shutting down the farms. So that they can eat more bugs? No, this is all part of it. It's going to be 2035.

I will not eat the bugs. Keep going to the other one from 2013 where I told Frank they're going to tell us to eat bugs. 2013? Oh, no, 2021. And force us to eat bugs instead of meat. It tastes the same. Oh, man. The bug burgers.

What is this one? I went to Burger King and they just were serving me a fucking patty of mealworms. It was disgusting. Yeah, so they're going to make us eat bugs? Yes. Well, you guys will probably make it. It's going to start with the liberal elite. Why will we make it?

Because I think all of us, we're the lucky ones. Right. We're the lucky ones. What about my kids? Are my kids going to start with the liberal elite. Why will we make it? Because you got, like, I think all of us, we're the lucky ones. Right. We're the lucky ones. What about my kids? Are my kids going to have to eat bugs? Yeah, your kids are. Your kids are already, I mean, you got kids in Brooklyn preschools. Like, they're already giving them bugs right now.

Yeah. They've got all, they've got, yeah, you're right. That's what Michelle Obama wanted. Uh-huh. That's most of what she was pushing through was that she wanted everyone to have bugs. Should I disown my children? Because they're just. No, it's not your children's fault.

That's the thing. Make them hunting. It's the best thing you can do. Give your children a crossbow now. I've got to give them some wood. What do you think about wood? Do you think that will be good as an antidote to bugs? Wood?

I almost said dugs. What is it? People are drinking it now. They're drinking the bugs? No, the wood. It's a hot new thing. They're consuming the mug? Oh, the wood. It's a hot new thing. Or consuming the wood. Everyone's found this.

I'm just saying, guys, they're going to, we'll come back here to this day in 5, 10, it's 2035. That's their plan. 2030? So they have like a date? Yes. Pretty much. They have an end date. So you think they're going to shut down the farms?

So you think like on 2035, July 4 4th it won't be a hot dog eating competition be crickets i wouldn't be surprised if joey chestnut becomes a cricket guy yeah wow be a reptilian they're gonna have to they're gonna have to pay off some thought leaders it's a slow process they put it in the chips right then then they then they put it in oh instead of having the hamburger why don't you be good to the environment and eat the bugs? Why don't you do that instead of the hamburgers? The hamburgers that you eat are bad for the environment, yada, yada, yada. Go to Austin, try a taco in Austin, yada.

It's all crickets. And I'm not kidding, even though that is how they started. God damn it. I don't want to eat the fucking bugs. I'm not stressing that. I'm not eating the bugs. By quarter four, the meat prices are going to be through the roof and I don't know

if they're ever coming down are you like the Michael Burry of this bug phenomenon I don't think I was told about it I wasn't the first one

to blow a whistle but I do like I have been talking about it as you saw you're going to be watching a bug's life like 12 years a slave in like 5 years

it's going to be absolute bullshit you're going to be watching ants I'm doing it I'm Jack I'm tweeting right now I'm Jack. I'm tweeting right now. I refuse to eat the bugs.

I guarantee you it blows up. People are going to be like, what are you talking about? I'm going to die of cancer, so I don't really care about this. You're probably better than the bugs. That was dark. I saw the Roundup. I'm not stressing about bugs. We spray the bugs

with Roundup, then we eat the bugs, and then we get sick the same way that the weeds are dying. Yep. And your testosterone drops. You have no will to fight back against the new world order, yada, yada, yada. And they tell your kids what to think, and your kids are weak because they didn't even develop muscles because they were eating the bugs from such a young age.

Yeah. Oh, football's going to suck. Oh, it's going to suck. Turn into all the food, all the food that they're serving. These kids are like, oh, we want to give the kids all the vegetarian foods and whatnot. They're not going to be strong. The NFL is going to have to come up with an offense. That's all slot receivers.

Yep. People are saying I'm red pilled now. Yeah. In a good way. I mean, that's yeah. Hey, I'm not eating the bugs. I'm just I'm, that's, yeah, hey, I'm not eating the bugs. I'm just, I'm being firm on that one. I'm not eating the fucking bugs. Yeah, we got to keep the Samoans off the bugs.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. As long as Palomalu's off the bugs. As long as Haloti not out. I'm telling you, Joni Mitchell warned us about this. Did she? What's she saying? The parking lot thing?

Yeah, the DDT and, like, that's all the same. You saw Zaha went viral for he's viral on soccer Twitter right now. Really? For what, Zaha? For the Korean barbecue stuck in the... That was unbelievable. Oh my god, how did we not talk about that? Holy shit. Thank you, Jack. I'm not eating the bugs.

Alright, we gotta finish with this. I mean, Zaha, how did we not talk about that? That was amazing. Can we see the video? People who didn't see, Zaha was rushing to the path. Were you taking the path? Yeah, I was going home. From here to New Jersey, and he was rushing, and he got his bag caught in the door for the whole ride.

For the whole fucking ride. Jesus Christ, 1.3 million likes? Dude, look at his bag. His dinner is riding on the outside of the subway. I do a reveal of it right here. And it got. Oh, yeah. Let me see.

Yeah, let's see it. How did it end up? It looked cold. Unbelievable. Funny thing is, I had a glass bottle and I had a bottle of beer in there. I like this. All right, all right. I like this cam.

This is sexy. You should have done that. That looks good. That looks amazing. Is that Bonchon? BBQ. It's down the road. All right.

So my Korean barbecue chicken rode outside the path across the Hudson from New York to Jersey. We're going to try it. My roommate predicted it tastes like fumes. I was defeated, by the way. I'm very happy. Fumes? I mean, this chicken is so good. That looks amazing. Does it dangle? Because they twice fried it. It tastes like fumes?

Damn, it's not with the hair down. It's sexy. It tasted like fumes? My whole night was ruined. It tasted like fumes? Literally, my whole night was ruined. What did it fumes? Literally, my whole night was ruined. It was bad? What did it taste like?

Outside? That's not how life is supposed to work. You earned it. Well, I mean, it tasted off. Let me say that. It tasted off, but then the next day, I just could not stop shitting. I don't know if it was IPAs. I don't know if it was IPAs.

I was slamming or the Caribbean barbecue, but yeah, I just could not stop. Wait, and why'd you go viral for soccer? Oh, yeah, because we were celebrating. Oh, can I see that? We were celebrating, and people aren't happy. They're like, oh, it's a friendly, it's a friendly.

It's like, don't tell me how to support my team. Yeah, do whatever you want. Thanks, bro. I'm in the... So you were viral three times in the last calendar week. Yeah. He's on the heater right now.

I'm the fuck down, Z fuck down Gotta hose this boy off You stop it I'm worried about these fucking bugs Oh people roasting you? Yeah they're like Oh the games don't count They don't count They don't count Undefeated is undefeated this preseason. Oh, people roasting you? Yeah, they're like, oh, the games don't count. They don't count. They don't count. Undefeated is undefeated.

Yeah, undefeated is undefeated. They're clicking, though. That's all that matters. Yeah, that's all that matters. Hell yes. Look at Troops' face. Troops is like, ah, this is not going to go well. It's the best expressions, dude.

He should be called Expressions. Yeah. Expressions should be called Troops because he actually served. Yeah, he was a soldier. Thanks. Okay, this is a good show. It was. Everyone good? Yeah. Expression should be called troops because he actually served. Yeah, he was a soldier. Thanks. Okay, this is a good show. It was. Everyone good?

Yeah. This bug beat us. No, no. It's having kids to try to beat us. It's truly kill-billing us. Can we just sidebar before we finish? I really kind of want to just start slipping some bugs into Jack Mac's food. Oh, easily.

We should buy some shit. We should buy some bugs. Buy bugs. We should start putting bugs and a Jack Max food. Oh, easily. We should buy some shit. We should buy some bugs. We should start putting bugs in all the chips here. Can we maybe send out a fake company-wide email that we're launching a new bug? Yes! Just be like, it's a mandate. Hey guys, just keep it organic, but push it from your personals. We're going to want to really push these bugs.

We should have Enrique just stalk the snack thing, which is all bugs. Bugs everywhere. Not even cooked, just like creepy crawly bugs. Yeah, bugs instead of bagels. I'm also fine with it. We could convince him like he's in a nightmare. Yeah.

If he did it hard enough. Him and Frank just drinking vinegar, eating bugs. Yeah, yeah. I want some flies planet to test. I know we need to get better at that. Yeah. I'm going to I'm going

to I'm going to bring some flies in tomorrow. We'll just release them and just go to town. We need to get some reps. Yeah. It's like batting

practice. We need to kill a few some fat ones in here. Yeah. I'm gonna get some fat. Yeah. I'm going to go to a

swamp after work. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. All right. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Dimension Zimba on TikTok. Thank you.