The Yak - The Gang Gets Graphic During Story Time | The Yak 5-5-22

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

10XYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. See your face. For the best. All right. It is. Oh, just everybody relax. We don't have to do self-deprecating stuff right here at the beginning. Come on, Kate.

That's my act. I'm an ugly piece of shit, everyone. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You are, but still. Oh, no. It's a bad face. It's a bad face.

Oh, no, no. All right. It's the act. All the talented people are gone. Big Cat is in. Big Cat and Roan are in Vegas where they're getting ready for the big fight. DAZN.com slash Barstool. Watch the Rough and Rowdy guys.

They've got the best commentary in the business. And Saturday night they're doing the Canelo fight. They're doing the whole card, not just the Canelo fight. So if you go to DAZN.com slash Bar-A-Z-N.com slash Barstool, you're able to access that if you purchase through there. Rico's here. Jerry's here. Hello, boys.

Kate. Glamour it. Back to the gun. Kate is sitting in, and in seat number seven is Frank. Hello, Frank. How's it going? It's Thursday. It's Tank Thursday.

It is? Yep. Did you want to say that right off the top? Yes, I did. Okay. All right. What have you brought for tank thursday today well it's it's cinco de mayo i just finished off some taco bells uh how was it it's taco bell what's your go-to order there the soft taco soft taco did y'all hear ben de julio was in here the other day when we were having some sort of investigation

uh but he said at 11 o'clock every day he gets four soft tacos and a Mountain Dew from Taco Bell. Perfect. I don't know how you go through your life like that. Which I don't have a good diet at all, but I just, I don't really eat until like 2 o'clock. I can't, at 11 a.m. I'm not

putting four soft tacos and a Mountain Dew in my mouth. You ever see some of the shit Marty puts in his mouth? Marty's a garbage disposal. Yeah, he's a garbage disposal. He's the worst. I rarely eat Brefix. Hmm? I rarely eat Brefix.

B-R-E-F-F-I-X. Brefix. Why are you saying that? I don't. I rarely have Brefix. Hey, say it right. Brefix. Why are you doing this to me? That's how I say it. It's Brefix. Okay. You rarely. Brefix. Why are you doing this to me?

That's how I say it. It's brefix. Okay. You rarely eat brefix? Yes. Interesting. Jerry, how are your daily habits? I mean, they could be better.

I had McDonald's yesterday. Yeah. I've been on a soda kick lately. Have you? It's the worst. Are you thinking about starting to do soda reviews? It's the fucking worst. No, I want to try to stay away from soda, if anything.

Me and Jerry have... We'll start doing this. We'll spot each other, and every day you catch each other, you've got to put a dollar in or five. We'll up it. No, you'd lose because you're addicted to Coke. See how quickly y'all turn on each other? Y'all try to do this conglomerate.

Y'all try to do this team, and you turn on each other immediately. You're trying to help each other. I know, but you'd lose that. You know you can't. Well, it would cost me money other immediately. You're trying to help each other. I know, but you'd lose that. You know you can't. Well, it would cost me money. Yeah. You put it in. There's really no losers there, because you're going to have money at stake.

Yeah. No, we're trying to help each other. I'm trying to help you. Jerry did it once. He's the one that turned on you. I didn't turn on you. He turned on you. Coke.

I mean, Coke brings back flashbacks. Amen. So I can do that. Because we're friends. Frank, you ever do coke crack smoke crack or anything? The man doesn't eat breakfast That's Frank smoking crack Well I've had The only thing I've had so far is a half of Three Chi cookie and

How'd it go? I felt a little pressure on my nose. That's about it. But I guess you guys don't want me to do the edible because you're doing a bad job. You haven't got anywhere near 80 down. We're getting there. We're getting there. We had a setback the other day, but we're

getting there. We're 3,888 away from... Did you see that math, Kate? Read numbers like a champ. I don't know if that's right at all. 3,888 away from... Did you see that math, Kate? Whoa. See that math? I don't know if that's right at all. I'm still trying to get people... I'm trying to get to 25,000 on Frank the Tank Fleming on YouTube.

That's Frank the Tank Fleming. What happens then, Frank? I don't know. Molly Meatball kicks the shit out of him. Wow. I guarantee if you say, hey, if I hit 25,000 subscribers, I'll smoke crack. I guarantee you'll get it quick. Jerry came in with one goal today.

Frank the Tank to smoke some crack. Not weed. We're going straight to crack. Nope. Frank, are you at least thinking about it? Not crack. Not crack. Okay.

Do it. Ruin Whitney Houston's career. Crack is what happens. You got that right, Frank. Do it. Ruin Whitney Houston's career. Crack his wagon. You got that right, Frank. It is. Jerry, I fear that you convincing Frank to get crack would necessitate you getting him the crack, which would then... That didn't mean Frank is a part of smoking crack. That'd be good content, Frank.

Well, look at it this way. I just write it off as content, Jerry. That's always a it this way. Just write it off as content. That's always a backflip. You're not off the wagon. That was just a show. You got the Stephen Crane village. Yeah, there you go, Frank. Check out Frank the Tank's rehab reviews.

Now I'm just realizing that Jerry's, like if we get like 30 minutes in the show and he's like, Kate, you know what you should do? Smoke crack. Jerry's just going through urges for crack. It's okay. It's all right.

You don't have to worry about that. I watched my dad smoke crack when I was six. Kate's got that kid laying around. Did you really, Brandon? Oh, yeah. My dad used to smoke crack. He used to hide his cocaine in my Snoopy tackle box. Wow.

Because he thought they'd never look in a little kid's tackle box. They didn't. I thought you said Snoopy taco box. I had a taco box, but I also had a tackle box for my fishing tackle. That's a great place to hide drugs. Remember that commercial with the kid the father's confronting his son where did you learn how to do this?

Son, I learned it from watching you! I learned it from watching you! Good acting, Frank. Good method acting right there. They had some great don't do drug commercials in the 80s. Gary, can you put your phone down? I'm worried you're texting. A drug drug?

This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. No. That's an egg. Yeah, it's a fried egg. That's prefix. God damn it, Frank. Where did that come from?

That's what I've always said Prefix Lunch is lunch Is that why your parents Moved to Idaho Prefix Yeah what's lunch Lunch

Dinner Simple Dinner Supper You say supper Well the people in the south Say supper right They do say supper

They're uncultured I kind of like that I don't know why I don't like supper Or you could alternatively use Din Din. Can't use Din Din. I don't like that.

When I was working in the cubes, we used to get pizza delivered. They'd be like, oh, lunch on the company. And I would just fucking yell, like, hot beats! For the fucking pizza delivery. I didn't realize you ever had a time where you worked in the cubes. Oh, yeah, I was a big cube guy.

Big cube guy? Really? Used to run. The best was I ran a spelling bee pool. Oh, I love that. Hold on. Hold on. People got real excited for the spelling bee pool.

Oh, okay. So when the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee came around, you would run a pool. How would you do the research into the cubes? No research. Right out of a hat. That's the only way you could do it. Right out of a hat. Okay.

You can't be, you know, whatever. But you put them on a list. Right out of a hat. That's the only way you can do it. Right out of a hat. Okay. You can't be, you know, whatever. But you put them on a list and you go to a website and take how many entries we had and like everybody got like five. Longer the name but the better the speller. Pretty much. And you would just divide it up. No, he's just talking about gambling on the actual spelling.

On the spelling bee. Who fancies himself a good speller in here? Not great. Oh, I do. I don't like to brag. I fancy myself a good speller. You should do something. I am probably the worst speller in the room. How about this one, Kate? You said you're a good speller in here? I think I'm the worst speller. Not great. Oh, I do. I don't like to brag. I fancy myself a good speller as well. You should do something. I am probably the worst speller in the room. How about this one, Kate? You said you're a good speller?

Yeah. Sarsaparilla. Ooh, oh, crap. S-A-S. Sarsaparilla? S-A-R. TJ, pull it up. Oh, my God.

What? S-A-R. He used a trick word on you. It would be a word. It was a dick thing to do. It would be a word. That was a dick thing to do. It would be a word, innit? It was misogynistic. She's a woman.

She has a brain a third the size of ours. That was wrong. Oh, my God. Sarsaparilla. Learn something new every day here. I didn't know that. Wow. Medicine plant.

Oh, yeah. It's a soda. Well, it can be a soda. It's a lot of things, right? It's like an alternative root beer. Yeah, plant. Is Back to the Future a comedy? I've never seen it.

I wouldn't know. Yeah. You've never seen Back to the Future? Nah. It's a good movie. Well, he's not that old. It's a dramedy. I think it's an adventure comedy.

Yeah, I think it is. I think that's the best term, adventure comedy. We were talking about that earlier. Yeah, comedy sci-fi. Remember when Crispin Glover went crazy? Christopher Lloyd. Hey, what did you do on your show yesterday? About what? What was the topic on the show?

What was it? Most Disappointing Movies. The one you gave me. You gave me that topic. Okay. I took your topic. I didn't want to know. I asked you for the topic. I know, but I didn't know if you did it. I did it. I was just asking that. It was a disappointing topic. Nobody called in. Nobody called in. Not one person? Not one Nobody called in. Nobody called.

Not one person? Not one person called in. Get out of here. Well, maybe a couple people called in. A guy called in with another movie hypothetical that took over the show after that. So we won't do it. We did it on Pick Central, so we're not going to do it here. One of the most disappointing movies I saw was the last Indiana Jones.

The Crystal Skulls. Yeah, horrific. Nuking the fridge. Which one? Nuking the fridge. Yeah, when he hid in the lead refrigerator at the very beginning of the Indiana Jones. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Can we just see, I don't know, have you seen Robbie Fox getting kicked by Meatball Molly? Yes. Oh, my God. Can we see that again? I just want to see that again. I saw the video. It looked like his whole arm, he looked like the guy who attacked, should have been the guy who attacked Chappelle. Like his arm, it looked like it was he looked like the guy who attacked should have been right like his arm it looked like it was gonna snap in half yeah his leg whatever i thought because robbie

robbie fox is not a sturdy guy no not at all he's not jersey jerry with these calves of steel out here he's he's just uh dainty molly meatball didn't hold back no she didn't she no yeah no she's he's he is a dainty little thing, so here it is with the jackass intro. I don't know what that shirt is, and here we go. I don't know if you've seen it. Oh! God! God! You know what we need for this?

You know what we need? Put her on the wheel! You know what we need for this video? What? We need to do the sound effect of Mike Tyson's punch out when Glass Joe falls. Oh, yeah. If she had gotten him in any other spot besides right where he's a little bendy there, I swear to God he would have broken his femur.

Yeah. I think he would have broken his femur. I mean, she kicked the shit out of him. Damn. That's covered? Should we add Meatball Molly? Is it Molly Meatball or Meatball Molly? It's Meatball Molly.

Meatball Molly. Can we add Meatball Molly to the wheel? A kick for Meatball Molly? Is it Molly Meatball or Meatball Molly? It's Meatball Molly. Meatball Molly. Can we add Meatball Molly to the wheel? A kick for Meatball Molly? What do you think, Stephen Jay? You're the only other permanent yakker here. That could be an option, but it would have to be. She'd have to be here. No, no.

Virtual. Because Nick is picking the next punishment, which he already did. So whoever loses that one could pick Meatball Molly as an alternative. I think we have the authority. If we want to put it on the wheel, we just put it on the wheel. We don't have to. Without a show vote? Yeah.

It's bold of you. 2-0. It's unanimous. Who voted with you? You wouldn't vote with me? I don't know. Why are you being a prick about this? Why wouldn't we just be going together?

Because you wouldn't get kicked. When it came your time, you would not get kicked. I've given you so much props about being the number one mock drafter in the world. I've been the only guy that did that. There have been a few, but I appreciate that. But imagine her kicking Sass or Owen. They might actually have to go to the hospital. Actually die.

There's no way Sass would do it. Sass wouldn't do it. Can you imagine the flinching? Kyle would do it. I guarantee you my knee would not survive that kick. Big Cat. TJ, Zod, would you do it? I mean, they'd be kicking you in the head.

Yeah, I wouldn't do it. I don't know. Actually, I would. I would. Fuck it. No, you can take it. I think I... I would probably cry.

I'd rather get punched. In my thigh, though. Not... Would you let her choke you out? Yeah. Like an MMA chokeout? Yeah. Don't you get, like, monster boners if let her choke you out? Yeah. Like an MMA choke out? Yeah. Don't you get like monster boners if you get choked out, or is that just a rumor?

I never heard of that. Who started that? Did you start that rumor? No, I didn't. I've never been choked out, but isn't that a thing? Isn't that like rigor mortis? That's how I get. It's not rigor.

What? You ever used to choke your friends out with your friends? Give them boners? He said, is that rigor mortis? Isn't that what it is? No. That's after you die. Rigor mortis is when you die.

But then you get like a monster boner. Every tanker would say, Stephen Chay reveals more and it gets scarier and scarier. It really does. It really does. You never used to do that? You take like the three deep breaths

and the guy comes behind you and chokes you out. Oh, at sleepovers growing up? That used to be like all we did was make each other pass out and stuff. We did it for like a week. We were as stiff as a board and knocking each other out, and that was like a fun thing to do.

We did it for like a week straight. I mean, my sleepovers are probably different than yours. My sleepovers consisted of duster, inhaling duster cans. I thought you were going to. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. All right, so none of the guys are here. I guess what we could do is... And I don't know, really, what would happen if we spun right now wedgie wheel? What happens if we spin wet?

Question. Jerry, if we spin wet are you are you getting wet yeah yeah you're in the yeah i mean i'm here what about what about you kate i'm here i would defer it you get wet on command not in this room that was good that was a good one tumbleweeds blowing around right now. But yes, I would follow. I'll do whatever the wet wheel says. I'll do whatever the wheel says. What about you, Rico?

Are you willing to do whatever the wheel says? I would defer to a day of wearing a less nice shirt. That is a nice shirt. It looks waterproof, though. No. I would defer that. You can't put it off. It is what it is.

Consider it. Okay. Now, Frank. He's just around a bunch of ugly dudes. If it rolls wet? We'll have to see. No, no, no, no, no, Frank. We're not going to have to see. I'm asking you

if it comes up wet, are you getting wet? Yeah, I could get wet. Alright, okay. CJ, I don't know what is about to happen. I just know with this crew, it's coming up something. Yeah. It's coming up something.

The odds are fucked now. Yeah, it's not a whole lot of dries left. Wait, how does that happen? Every day we land on a dry, we take it away until we get wet. Wow. This shows. We haven't gotten wet in a long time. There's only two bad ones.

It's only wet and hanging wedgie. Food wheel is fine. What's wheel reset? That means we put all the drives back. We put the 18 drives back. Got it. That would be my best case scenario. Correct.

But we're going to, the wheel is just, whatever comes up. All right. Hanging wedgie, though, is more, like, that has to involve, that might not happen because we would have to put Big Cat on there. We'd have to put Nick on there. Well, not Nick, but we'd have to put all the other guys on there. So, TJ, spin the wheel. i've had a hanging wedgie before fun fact just so everyone knows oh it's oh come on stop stop stop stop stop stop wheel reset get all our dries back Hey You can chat

You can't get mad The wheel is just We were willing to do whatever The wheel is just The wheel is just We get all of our dries back All the dries? Yeah

All the dries back What the whole wheel goes dry? No not the whole wheel Not the whole wheel Um There you go A lot more dry Alright I gotta tell the boys

Tell the boys Wheel Everybody else Please retweet the stream Yeah we did it Okay All right, I got to tell the boys. Tell the boys. Everybody else, please retweet the stream message. Yeah, we did it. Dry, how dry we are. How dry we are. Nobody's wet. The wheels reset.

Beautiful. All right. So is this last text that we got from the Yak is that true we don't know I mean that's a hell of a thing to I don't know I mean the rumor probably not our news to break I would think

not our news to break but why would he know why would Sass know it why would Sass know that news I need you to look up her socials and see if it's on there if it's on there we'll talk about it because it needs to be talked about it's not okay well then never mind we're not gonna we're not gonna break that news you're gonna give me a phone it's not that big of a deal all right well i mean we're not included watch how you react because the chat will read your face it's on instagram okay you can oh it is yep what is it

rachel beeman's dog died. The fucking beautiful... You just said we're not breaking it. He just told me I could. It's on Instagram. That's horrible. You don't listen. Oh my God, what happened?

I don't know, but he was the cutest little fucking dog. God damn it. That was a little dog, right? He was kind of big now. Oh my God. Last year, somebody was like, can I bring my dog? Or she was like, can I bring my dog to work? Should I bring my dog to work and put it on Twitter? And Dave added her and was like, yes, bring that dog to work.

Beautiful dog. It would be easier to retweet the stream if we actually had good internet going on. What do you really think about Pete, Frank? What's your opinion about all business Pete? So how are your glasses doing that? Are they effective right now? Well, they're only for distance. I do not read in glasses, so sometimes I have trouble reading with the glasses on,

so I have to, like, you know. Fair enough. Fair enough. Kate, what's going on in Horrorville these days? Nothing, man. Well, boy, a lot. You're reading the news. We're busy bees.

You know what I'm saying? Oh. Oh. Jerry? Guys. Can we get back to smoking crack? Okay. Ah, not today.

No, I meant the topic. I didn't mean. Nah, I think we'll pass that. Right, Reed? Yeah. Yeah, we passed it. Yeah. Also, Rico, just one real quick.

I'm not insulting you at all. Go ahead. This shirt's too nice to get wet? This shirt is the shirt you were trying to protect? I don't know. It's a nice color. Just stop at a Wawa on the way home and get another one. Wawa.

Fucking guy. Hey, he just pulled a Rudy. Where is Rudy? Rudy should be here. Rudy's part of the replacement crew. I, he just pulled a Rudy. Where is Rudy? Rudy should be here. Rudy's part of the replacement crew. I think he's went to Vegas. I thought I saw him this morning. I thought he was on a plane.

Okay. Well, I think he's in this building. Well, I know he was in the Spitting Chicklets stream the other day. That was two days ago. As the New York Rangers did what the Rangers usually do, and that's choke. Did they get a boner? Got one collective New York Rangers boner. One giant Rangers boner.

One giant Madison Square Garden boner. A rough one. You know, that's the one thing that I could actually live with the devil, being a devil, is the fact that we completely suck right now. We're a trash organization. We're trash owners. Yeah. But I know that the Rangers will never win another Stanley Cup.

Oh, you don't know that. That could happen. That should be a – I bet them to win it this year, Frank. Oh. Oh. Also, I mean, they were 16-1 to win it this year. I mean, the Devils aren't even in, man.

Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. That's his George Bush, Dana Carvey impersonation. Let's go with... Are there any songs about the Rangers not winning the Cup? Somebody should make one. Strangers to the Cup. It's been 80 years and they've only won one.

It's a joke. Strangers always choke. They can't win in the playoffs. It's another year. You know, if you go to Henrik Lundqvist's house, you can't get anything to drink. He doesn't have any cups. All right. Okay.

Oh, boy. Chairman of the board. Settle down. Settle down. Oh, boy. Sir Francis Albert Fleming, folks. Shut the fuck down. We can hear talking shit. Okay.

Francis Albert Fleming. Stephen Che's sheet. So I don't know. You guys aren't regulars. Stephen Che puts anything on the sheet. His number one other question is, have you ever been in a car accident? Why? What's that?

In the NFL category above, Jerry Jones has been in a car accident. Yeah. Or his teeth okay. It's okay, right? Minor. It seems to be a minor car accident so okay i assume so yeah been in a few with minors oh when i was in high school it was friday night friday night football coatsville high school and i told my parents i'm gonna be at the football game see your boyfriend quarterback so my boyfriend was actually the mascot this isn't pc but we were the

red we were the red raiders so he was a very white irish guy dressed like a native american and he was also very overweight and so they would paint abs on him and uh and that was the joke he's like fat and i was like look at my style like i felt cool because he was like the star of the show even though he was a joke kinda um so that was my claim to fame in high school but anyway um imagine getting sorry i'm just getting finger blasted by that guy i'm just saying in the back of it old toy anyways she's got a leader down the path that she's gonna hit a fucking home run i just's got it. I just alley-oop-a-doop. Yeah. I told my parents I was going to the football game, and I went, and then I got picked up by a friend to go to a party instead. And there was like a whole caravan of us who had told our parents we were going to the

football game. So we all met up, and then we're driving to the party, which wasn't far from the high school and the stadium. But we were young and stupid, and we were all like joking around, pretending to go past each other on this road. And this car was coming towards us, and my friend Steph was driving. And I was like, Steph, I don't know. Maybe we're getting a little.

She straight up played chicken with the guy, afraid to pull back over. And we got in a head-on car crash. Oh, shit. Wow, that sounds terrible. We were fine. No, we were fine. But the other car was very mad. And people were.

It's also 100% her her fault it was a hundred percent her fault and my first thought instead of being like is steph okay i was like oh man my mom my cover's blown i've been in this car yeah it was a big it was a whole thing she's probably still okay she's probably still paying those insurance premium probably it was just i like was i remember watching it in slow motion i was like oh my god they're like we're about to hit this car and then we did i told her the car the day before my sister was born when I was in high school, 16. We were skipping school, skipping first period. We were supposed to go down to Southside Elementary and tutor some kids.

We went out riding in the country and smoking. And we were riding around, and we were in my mom's 93 Ford Probe, and I wasn't driving. We were taking turns driving, going as fast as we can. Corey Billups was driving. But I told my mom, my mom thinks to this day I was driving, so she doesn't know that I've actually been lying to her since February 9th, 1995. Well, it's a seven-year rule.

After seven years, you can tell your parents. I wasn't driving, no. Oh, okay. I wasn't driving. I was sitting in the back seat. We were taking turns driving and going past. Too much goofing. Yeah, we flipped like six times.

It was rough. You guys? Frank? Frank, you ever been in a big car accident? Not a big one. I've been in a few fender benders. One side scrape. You know what been in a big car accident? Not a big one. I've been in a few fender benders. One side scrape. You know what I have a habit of doing?

And I've done it three times. Like smash, like clip my mirror. Oh, yeah. Side view mirror. Really? Yeah. Well, Frank has a rule. He only drives like 30 miles an hour everywhere.

Is that right? I'm very uncomfortable driving over 35. The highways are pretty much a no-go for me. I drove on the highway once with Dougs in the passenger seat. It was like clueless. Screaming on the highway. And he turned to Ashton White. Driving down the street one time, I made a left turn,

and a guy had his blinker on, and he didn't make the turn. He went straight, and he started singing Ave Maria. This is not a shot at you because Tommy Smokes does the same thing. He's from here, and he won't drive on the highway. You guys that grew up in this city and near this city and Jersey and all that, you just can't drive on the highway? The highway is the easiest and most natural driving.

That's the best driving there is. No, it's not. It's easily the best driving. No, it's not. It's easily the best driving. No, it's not. Highway driving is great. Not in this state. Highway driving's easy. That's my favorite.

Just get on an open road and just turn the fucking radio up. Yeah, but there is no open. Smoke some crack. Oh, yeah. For sure, for sure. I ain't playing. There is no open road. All it is is people just shifting lanes and cutting you off. Because you drive so slow, Frank. That's why. Here, there's no open road. All it is is people just shifting lanes and cutting you off.

Because you drive so slow, Frank. That's why. Here there's no open road. It's just straight volume. Oh, yeah. Volume of cars. Frank's talking about the GSP. Garden State Park, right?

Yeah. I was in another. He thought I was done. I did. I was trying to cut you off so you weren't talking anymore. No, I listened to Kate's behind the block. She's got some miles on the tire. Yeah, I've got a couple.

Oh, shit. Jersey Shore. Me and my friends went down to Jersey Shore for the day. I'm getting finger blasted under the porn block, okay? Absolutely. Anyway, we were doing a little weed goofing all day long. You're in the hot sun with your friends all day, and on the way home, it was one of those old little Toyota trucks where the two guys were in the front and me and my friend were in the back like it

wasn't even all that little ass those last seats sideways we were all a little high and it was night and you're going down those back roads of jersey you're going straight for a while and we all fell asleep including the driver you know so we drift off the highway we had a telephone pole going like 40 miles an hour knock it it over. The airbags explode. We're like squished in the back seat. Like my friend had this metal thing go through. And the first thing as we hear the sirens, we're like, someone's got to get out and throw the weed in the field.

We were all like, none of us cared how physically we were. It was like, we got to get rid of the weed before the cops came. It sounds like you should have died three or four times already. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. What did absolutely. Absolutely. What did Steve A. Smith stop smoking to weed? Yeah, that's what we should have done. That's the problem.

How many of your stories begin with being finger blasted? How many don't would be the question. Frank, you're excited for that one. I just see Kate at the mom circle at Pentecostal Preschool. Everyone's like, so what do we think about tax rates? And she's like, who's getting fucked up this weekend? The IRS is finger blasting me this week.

The other moms just go grab their kids by the hand. Don't hang out with her. We're changing schools. Don't ask. I'll tell you what. When they do start going to your house, you're going to be the fun mom. I hope so. Got crack.

Got alcohol. We got yeah. Kate was Kate brought the baby you and Pat went to the

Stu's party the other day. We went to Stu's party. It was a hoot. Yeah it was a fucking I mean listen Stu spent God who knows how much money

$75,000 I believe. $75,000 something like that. But he didn't he made sure that everybody with kids I mean it was kid friendly. That75,000, I believe. $75,000. Something like that. But he didn't, like, he made sure that everybody with kids, I mean, it was kid friendly. Oh, yeah. That's one episode of Advisors. Yeah. Oh, God.

Come on, Rico. I mean, it was something else. He had a live band. Then he brought out another, like, these two guys with guitars. And then at the end, he had these uh tahitian uh fire fire fire diet fire dancers like like like it was a good time it was it was just it was non-stop entertainment so proud that my day is the day we reset the wheel yeah do you need to spend one more time why don't we need to spend one more time reset Why don't we need to spend one more time? Reset the wheel. We might as well kick it off with a fresh start.

No, we don't. That's not how it works. We spend once a day. Don't just add. I feel like I should spend it once a day. I'm not. No. The wheel is just.

This is what. When you guys get beholden to the chat or beholden to the wheel, that's when we lose the plot. That's when we just start doing things just to do them. Okay? We spend the wheel once a day. We don't spend the wheel twice a day. I know Dan did the other day because he was trying to fight back from underneath i ain't doing it all right i'm brandon walker i ain't doing it oh well we just spun it though why would we spin it again we spun

it already let's see what happens steven all right there are four permanent yakkers here right now who's who thinks i don't think we should spin it again. That's not in the rules. That's not in the bylaws. I didn't hear TJ. What's the reason for spinning it again? We just reset it. Might as well just spin it one more time. No.

Did we do that the last time we reset it? I don't think. No, we did not. Nope. And Monday is a new week, a new day. That's correct. Yes. New wheel.

No, that's not true. Today we got the new wheel. Tank Thursday. Your legacy is giving us a new wheel. Well, your legacy's got a couple other things. But your legacy is a new wheel. Yes. What, Stephen Shea?

I don't know. I feel like we might have. I would leave it up to the chat for an honest answer. No, the chat's not going to be honest. The chat wants us to die at all times. The chat's not going to be honest. I love them, but they're not going to be honest. They want us to die.

They want the wheel to kill us. The chat wants to have the wheel put a toaster in the bathtub with you. If we put a beheading on the wheel right now, the chat would be in favor of it. If it's you. I don't think there's a blade strong enough to go through this neck. Just do a 50-50 wheel. Beheading, gethead.

That's all they're doing. Beheaded or gethead? Beheaded or gethead. Just leave, go out, and find a 50-50 wheel. That's quite a fucking wheel right there. I don't know. You know what? Can we do that? I'm not calling Big Ash. Big Ash is going to tell us to spin

the wheel. Do that hypothetical. Do that 50-50 wheel. Beheaded or get head? I think it'd be easier to behead one of us than to get head. Where are we going to find head? Anybody here would give me head. Did you see going to find head? Anybody here would give me head. Did you see Sex Island is back again?

Oh, God. $4,500 gets you like four nights in Vegas. Oh, yeah. Oh, we talked about it on the rundown. Oh, the rundown. And whatever you pay, you're with like, there's like 300 prostitutes. There's like a draft in the beginning.

You get to pick two, and you're like, get to chill with them. You might be interested solely because meals are included. You see?y wants to go because he rides on a helicopter right there's helicopter not tommy walker when you say tommy i was like tommy smokes my 11 year old kid doesn't you don't let me get his number yet no yeah tommy walker's off limits to you guys so far jaco beach you can get all that for 100 a day you realize that i that I would just give Tommy pump-up texts? That's all. Oh, you wouldn't? Pump-up texts. I would absolutely. You would foment an insurrection in my

house. It would be your own January 6th, but it's my family rebelling against me. That's not true. I would just give him pump-up. I would scout his Little League games a little bit, maybe, see how he was doing. Ask him if the apple fell off the tree. You know, is dad going to the games?

Yeah. That's all. Yeah. And within three weeks, Tommy's hanging out at DJ's. Listening to the bar, opening a month's worth of my mail. Oh, he can't get in. Where's that beach? Jocko Beach?

Yeah. You can get a bunch of whores for $100? $100 a day. Cook for you, clean for you. Fuck you. Is this a real place? Yeah. You can get a bunch of whores for $100? $100 a day. Cook for you, clean for you, fuck you. Is this a real place? Yeah. Oh, okay. Costa Rica.

Maybe give me that address later. Yeah. And you can go. Content. Think of the content. Yeah. You can go. The Walker and Jerry tour instead of just a 30-second tweet from New Orleans.

We could do whores. We're going to get tanked at Jocko Beach. It would have a blast out there. If the deal is good enough for the side stuff, like is there like a jungle waterfall hike? Then I'd be interested. Also, what kind of, the biggest thing,

what kind of meal are we talking? Are we talking like roast beef, most certainly. Beef curtains. Clams. Yeah, clams. Roast beef. Tuna. Yeah, tuna. S yeah tuna sushi girl cheese all that stuff small sausages a lot of small small sauce just an abundance of small sauce yeah how big is big enough so i i personally i'm just curious personally I think I'll eat any sausage any size.

I like the small sausages. I like the big sausages. There's no size sausage that I won't eat. That's true. That is 100% true. Thank you, Kate. Mm-hmm. No, can we not do this?

Every time there's a non, there's guests on the Yak, we always talk about pussy or dick or something like that. Can we not talk about pussy and penis today? I do subscribe to it's not necessarily the size. It's what else you got going on. So Pat has a small penis. Oh, no. Oh, that guy's got a hog.

I'll say it. He's got a hog. But no free ads, but. That's where hard factor comes from. That's exactly where. You act like of all the people here, who's the most likely to embrace these jokes? I know, I know. I'm saying.

Listen, I like her, but she's going to be the one drifting towards that road. You know where you got to be if your penis isn't huge? You know the guy in Central Park who's playing the accordion and the foot drum and the violin at the same time, and he's got like six different instruments going? Yeah. Be that guy. He's got to be a one-man band. You're tweaking and you're pulling and you're doing that you're describing a bop it

yeah exactly be a bop like get good at the bop it and then take that into the bedroom you crush yeah what do you think steven che that's not really your technique is it no i mean it's pretty simple but uh yeah just figure out what you're doing and you know steven che watches youtube tutorials it's not on youtube first of all but yeah kate blogged what you're doing and commit to it. You know Stephen Chay watches YouTube tutorials on how to... It's not on YouTube, first of all. But yeah, Kate blogged it. Everyone should. Oh, that's right.

I think every guy would benefit from such a thing. I'm a hero amongst women. It's true. It's true. Feminist icon. All right, so let's see. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle or moped? Fair question. Motorcycles scare me Have you ever ridden a motorcycle or moped? Fair question.

Motorcycles scare me. I will not ride a motorcycle. Quad, yeah, but none of those. Never did a motorcycle. I wanted. I think I did a go-ped. I didn't do a moped. Think I'm a pussy?

Yeah. Okay. All right. I have ridden a motorcycle. That's not surprising. On the Marine Corps birthday, I went to do a video for Barstool. The Marine Corps birthday, there's a small bar in South Philly called Cookies that every year they shut down like four city blocks in Philadelphia.

It's usually fucking freezing out. It's the Marine Corps birthday, November 10th. And they shut down. They have this massive party, this little hole-in-the-wall bar, and all these biker gangs go. So I'm with Barstool doing a video up at Tun Tavern. It's the bar where the Marine Corps was born, further up in the city on the Delaware River.

And I'm doing this cute little video, and this biker gang rolls up. It's like some Marine Corps biker gang. And I start talking to them, and they're like, do you want to ride down to Cookies? And I was with John Kelly, who was the cameraman that day. And I was like, see you later, John. And I just hopped on a motorcycle and dipped. And the rider's name was Death Trap.

And as we're going down, like fucking speeding down I-90, I was like, why did they call you Death Trap? And he's like, oh, because I've crashed like 15 times. I was like, Jesus Christ. What the hell? Anyways, he gave me a skull ring, said I was his old lady, and we still keep in touch. He's a delight.

Do you still have the skull ring? I still have the skull ring to this day. I feel like if you hadn't caught on at Barstool, if you didn't have this career, I could see you just being one of the female hangers-on for a biker gang. For a biker gang? Absolutely. We just interviewed for ZBT this guy from the ATF who went undercover for like two years with the, not the Hells Angels, the Mongols or whatever, the other group.

Sure, I guess. And it's like the hazing and shit that they do is fucking crazy. I'll have to check that out. Is there an alternative broadcast where it's just your voice in the interview? What's that? Like for that interview, is there like an alternative cut where it's just you interviewing the guy? He hates Chaps and...

Oh! Rico, I defend you all the time against Chaps and cons. I don't know what their problem is. I just want the Kate show. I don't know what their problem is. I just want the Kate show. I don't know what their problem is. I just want the Kate show. Be the good Rico on the yak. I just want the Kate show.

Be the good Rico. Don't be the bad Rico. I just want the Kate show. You're reading between the lines. I just want the Kate show. There's no reason for you to dislike chaps and cons. I just want the Kate show. What has cons done?

He just didn't suck your dick one day when you met him out in public? I just want the Kate show. No disrespect to cons, but nobody likes cons. Cons is the worst. He's the worst. He's a cheater. He's the worst. If you're listening right now, cons, I mean, no offense.

He sucks, but Rico has no reason not to like him. Chaps, though. Why chaps? He's fucked up, too. Oh, come on. He's a delight in the best possible way. But I say I'm a writer. It's true.

I will never not. You're not talking about Rico when you say that. Oh, that's mean. I also got Rico. I won that round. I just got that. It's true. It's true.

You are a writer. Writer. I'm not a writer. I will never be a writer. I'm not in the Jersey Jerry Army. I'm friends with both of them, but I'm not a writer. I will never be a writer. I'm not in the Jersey Jerry Army. I'm friends with both of them, but I'm not a grown man that needs that kind of validation in my life. That's not what happens. Yeah, I need that.

Yeah. Kate, I could see that, I mean, getting back to that. So why don't we just start the- We could be like a lady of the streets. Why don't we start the death walkers? Oh, for sure, for sure. I feel like you just could have got swallowed up in the streets. There was a point in my life, had I not joined the Marines, where I was the big nosebeard lady.

I was having quite the time. And I could have definitely veered off in other directions. Yeah, but like elegant, like you run shit. You know who you remind me of a little bit? Like Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York. That's because we both have small tits that are far apart. I see. That's why.

But I appreciate the sentiment. But I do. Oh, man. Cameron Diaz doesn't have small tits. Oh, no. They're delicate. In the mask, she had big tits. No.

She did. Can you please pull up a photo of Cameron Diaz? Cameron Diaz in the mask was incredible. They probably did get smaller over the years. But Cameron Diaz in the mask had a giant... No, it's probably a push-up bra or something, because she's in other movies wearing a V-wear. There's no cleavage. That woman doesn't have cleavage.

And they're far apart. Right, that's why. They're across the street from each other. They're like two chameleon eyes. They're on the side of the... That's just a push-up? Yeah, I think that's a push-up bra. If you look at other photos of her, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.

I think we've learned over the last couple days when the yak is going a little poorly or something, just throw titties on the screen. Throw boobs on the screen. What did you say, Frank? I was saying that, well, you're not a writer. You're not part of Jersey Jays Army, so let's start the death walkers. Why are my people the death walkers? High cholesterol.

They'd rather kill themselves than be associated with me? You're right. High cholesterol. I'm probably going to die of a heart attack. Probably by the time I'm 44, I would say. How old are you now? 43. You know what it is? That's all that greasy brefix. Yep, it's all the brefix.

Are you trying to launch a brand today, Frank? That's just how I say brefix yep it's all the brefix are you trying to launch a brand today frank that's just how i say brefix say say it right one time for me brefix okay all right he is saying it right this wi-fi blows dude well what happened to wi-fi the wi-fi here used to be decent i mean what are we uh using prodigy uh american online right now well pete's in pete's in vegas i think pete's in uh steven shea what are you doing oh he's actually hanging outside the booth trying to get internet i have to go outside to actually download clips that's how bad the internet i was wondering why steven shea was he's in the hallway right now he's like in the door of the hallway and he's actually got his laptop in the hallway trying to get internet. So I thought you were

disapproving of this conversation, but you were 100% approving of this conversation. I mean, it's so bad. I expect to hear this right now. Peace! America Online. That was great. What was your screen name, Kate?

This is so weird. It was because I was trying to be weird and quirky. I picked, it was one of those like, pick an animal, pick a part of you. It was, this is so dumb, Moosecopter. I don't know why. Moosecopter. I was wondering. I swear, when you started that word, I thought you were saying moosecock, and I was like,

okay. No, it was Moosecopter. And I always wondered why I never got the pedophiles in the group chat, in the big online chats, probably because they were like, look at this weirdo. What is this? Moosecopter, what was yours? What was yours, Rico? Moosecock. Yeah, Moosecopter.

Say what it was, Rico. T33 Duke. Oh. T33 Duke. There you go. That's nice. What was the T for? Tommy. I like Tommy Gunn That's nice. What was the D for? Tommy.

I like Tommy Gunn and Rocky V. What about yours? You actually liked Rocky V? Yeah, I did. That is one of the worst movies of all time. I was a big Tommy Gunn guy. I thought he got a bad rap. Awful movie.

I mean. Didn't the actor get AIDS? I mean. He got AIDS. He died, didn't he? Tommy Morrison? I mean He got AIDS He died Didn't he Tommy Morrison? I did hear he died Yeah

He's dead? I feel like Didn't he die? He had something I don't think he's dead But I do think he has HIV Can we find out If Tommy Morrison has AIDS?

Just call that the virus For sure Well what if What if he got COVID? Are you looking at the chat? Yeah, pull it up. Don't worry about what the chat has to say about you. Sometimes they have topics.

Why would this chat? All they do is do L's all day. They're funny. We'll see. At a news conference on February the 15th, 1996, Morrison said he contracted HIV. Still kicking, though? I guess once magic beat it, it was all... Nah, he's done it.

2013, he died. Oh, that's... Okay. Well, that sucks. Depressing. Just like that dog. Okay. Jerry, what was your screen?

You know, he was actually a distant cousin of... Get to that. John Wayne. Balboa? No, Tommy Morrison. Okay. You know, John Wayne's real name

is Marion Morrison. Do military people, do y'all have problems with John Wayne? Being a, like, I'm a military guy, but he wasn't really? He was a draft dodger

and then he made a career doing cowboys and military movies. No, I used to volunteer at the VA when I was in high school, and they watched John Green movies all the time. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we have breaking news here on the Yak.

That is our breaking news music. TJ, what is our breaking news? Please put that on the screen now. I would like to bring your attention to the 3-29-22 episode of the Yak, timestamp 39-42. Oh, no. This is the last time that we spun and hit a wheel reset. If it does land on slap, we could smack each other's bare asses.

Oh! We're back, boys. That is great. Wheel reset. Thank you to the chat. And then just listen to the conversation that follows. No, 17 dries now, right? Yeah.

16. 16 drives. Do we reset it right now? Yeah. We don't spin again. No. We don't? No.

Are you sure we don't? This is just to keep the allure of it. So it's actually Brandon's putting some life into the wheel. Now, the fans probably hate the wheel reset. How good does that feel? They probably just spot. Should we spin one more just to hang on? Yes, I think for the fans. On the wheel reset. Mm-hmm. feel? They probably just spot. Should we spin one more just to hang on? Yes, I think for the fans.

On the wheel reset. That's a fair. That's a fair. If you hit the wheel reset, you have to spin it that day. Take it down. I'm willing to. I'm ready. TJ, get the wheel ready.

I'd also like to point out that you've thoroughly angered the wheel now, so the blood's on your hands if this happens. I haven't angered the wheel. I did not do anything to anger the wheel now so this is on your the blood's on your hands if this happens i haven't anchored the wheel i just was i i did not do anything to anger the wheel i was just saying i was respecting the wheel i feel like we overuse the wheel sometimes where we would so i'm i'm nobody respects the wheel more than me okay nobody now you're gonna do one of your fucking things where somehow it landed fucking slap wheel nine times in a row. Alright. We're spinning the wheel again, guys. Sorry. TJ, spin the wheel.

Oh, the wheel on the yak, it is spinning. Let's see where we're from. You fucking pussy, TJ. Fuck you, TJ. Fuck you, chat. Wheel's been taking care of us this week.

Jinx it real bad. Wheel is been taking care of us this week. Been taking care of us. Jinx it real bad. Wheel is just. Okay. And tomorrow, the Yak will be here, but the Yak will be, I think tomorrow we'll probably have Big Cat, Roan, Nick, KB, Owen. I think Jerry will join us. We might do some, I'm just going to say we might play some Family Feud. Oh.

Might play some other video, some games. Yeah. Y'all be asking yourself, is it live or is it on Memorex? And all of you are too young to know that reference. Oh, well, Frank, hold on. I got the reference. I know sold it. I do get

the reference. Is it live or is it on Memorex? When you record things, you would put it on Memorex tapes oh yeah that's a company i know okay that was a that was a vhs yeah yeah yeah what was some other ones they had like a three-letter one i remember davy c yep this guy's a fucking machine his trivia this is the king of the dozen right here yeah it's not a title that he acquired lightly. No, he saved the show. Yeah, Minahan tried to claim it. Chicago stole it by cheating for a couple of weeks, and Frank went and got it.

It was like always sunny. They thought they had one star. They started it, and then season two, they bring a new star, and he takes over the show. Can I tell you guys something? It's always sunny is the show that I should love the most. I've never watched it. You've never watched it?

I got into it late. You know what I like about it should. You've never watched it? I've never watched it. I got into it late. You know what I like about it? You can pick around. You don't need to watch it in order. Nope, not at all. Yeah, any episode is nothing connects. There's a girl from my hometown two or three years younger than me

that worked on that show. I don't know what she did, but she worked on that show for the entire run. It's not still going, is it? She actually was the one who introduced the idea from the McPoyle family. She said, I know this guy from high school. Real loser.

Weird family. Poor. First of all, I didn't. Odd looking. Strange features. Deeply sunken eyes. Very pale. Okay, well I had color.

Make everyone uncomfortable. Tons of kids. A lot of kids. Oh, I didn't have kids back. I didn't have sex until I was 37. Okay. Yeah, it just came out with a new season i'm behind i haven't watched it i'm gonna try i need to wind it curb your enthusiasm and and and

that show or the two shows that i've missed i need to get them but i've got some curb they're such great fun fun note mac what had friends that went to fordham university and so he just went and lived in one of the dorm rooms he didn't go there and he just went to classes i believe he was like in the drama club and like on their comedy troupe the dorm rooms. He didn't go there, and he just went to classes. I believe he was in the drama club and on their comedy troupe, and nobody realized he didn't go there. He was wearing Jewish meal passes. You went to Fordham. You didn't have friends, but you went to Fordham.

Yeah, I went there, yes. Is that where you graduated from? Yes. It took me like 10 years, but yes. Took a little break between. To go to war? Yeah. I'll throw something out there.

Is there any more funny TV shows? Yeah. Like, Sonny's still running, but like... I think there's funny TV shows. There's not funny movies anymore. Like, Dave is funny. That show Dave is funny. Bill Hader's show is funny, isn't it?

Barry? Yeah, isn't that funny? I don't watch that. Is that just weird? I thought that's about a serial killer. Yeah, but they can be funny about a serial killer. But you're right. I'm trying to remember the last time I sat down and watched a show and was laughing my ass off.

Like Network TV. Always funny he does that for me, but I don't really watch Network TV. Network TV is dead. I don't watch it. Network TV is they just put everything in his ear rocks and then they just fill in the names. Schitt's Creek. I mean, how many CSI and CISs are there on CBS and FBI? It's like literally every show on CBS is the same.

They just rework the script and this storyline will be on this series one year and the next series next year. It's the same. It's ridiculous. They don't even write anymore. They just have a bunch of people just like... Just say another one all right so another one uh you know what i would like i think you would like to it's right up my alley have you ever watched this f is for family with bill burr i have not oh it is hysterical yeah aren't you the

one that brought up are there any more funny tv shows and now you're giving us this funny tv show it's on netflix i'm just saying that's a tv show okay fair enough but i think you should leave on netflix is really really funny too oh dude that's i think you should leave i don't know about that i think you should leave our bread and butter yeah i love i'm not talking about tv show yeah yeah i should uh efforts for family is very very funny it's like bill burr it's based about obviously i think his dad he's like a struggling guy working at the airport and they get oh it's just so many funny. Like if you grew up with just an angry dad, like at times, or struggling to make it through, like it's a very funny, like, hits it right in the head. Every neighborhood had that, the one angry dad that kind of scared the shit out of everybody.

He just nails it. He's livid with the kids. There's one scene that cracks me up with the fucking, they get an answering machine. And back in the 80s, it was like a big deal. And it's his boss screaming at him. And he's just trying to eat his meal and he's like very nice that we got the fucking answering machine Lois. He screams and then he's got to go to work.

It's very funny. Check out F is for family. My neighborhood didn't have an angry dad. It wasn't there. We were the only house in the neighborhood and I didn't really have a dad. We can tell. What's the best cupcake you've ever

had and please describe it. That is on Stephen Chay's sheet. That's a good one. That's not a good one at all. Why would you talk cupcakes. No I think it's good. When I first got to New York the little baked by Melissa cupcakes are these teeny tiny little like the size of Whoppers and you can just pop each one in your mouth

but each flavor is so fucking good. I think Big Ev got that, or Rome got it as a gift. He got like 500 of them, and I was like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Those are super good. Then cupcakes got overly popular in the city, and there was like six big chains, and they all sucked. But Big Bob and Melissa is pretty good. My dad used to, he took it from his grandma.

When we had a bake sale and you have to bring things in, back before when they let people bring things in, you would make a cupcake in an ice cream cone. Oh, yeah. I remember those. Bake the thing like halfway. It would bake itself up to the top, and it would coat over, almost like a muffin top, and you would put icing on the top. You know, Brandon, a muffin top.

Like an ice cream cone cupcake. It was unbelievable. Does everything have to be in it? It's all from you. You know, I like eating my cupcakes. I like eating the bottom part first and then popping the top part frosting in at the end. Frank, you ever do the sandwich? Oh, yeah.

My first grade teacher taught me that you rip the bottom off and you put it on the top. Oh, I've never done that. Like a sandwich. Keeps your hands clean. I would have loved a food wheel today. We could have gotten cupcakes. Yeah. It would have been nice. Have today. We could have gotten cupcakes. Yeah. Would have been nice.

Have you ever gotten cupcakes and been in a bad mood afterwards? Cupcakes always, they always play. They always play. Yeah, no, they're a delight. They really are. Cupcakes are delighted. Underrated. Your kid had a cupcake because you couldn't afford a cake for his first birthday, right?

That's true. Just one. Just one cupcake. One sad cupcake. Then again, does anyone actually remember their first birthday? You know, the first birthday and last birthday, and this isn't my joke, but the first

birthday and last birthday are the same. Jerry Seinfeld's joke. Yeah. They bring in a bunch of people. They say, these are your friends. You're having a birthday party with your friends. That's true. Your first birthday and your last birthday being very similar. My son's first birthday, Tommy's first birthday, we thought,

oh, this is going to be a great occasion. We brought out everybody. He doesn't give a shit. We brought out the cake with one candle on it, lit it, and said, Tommy, blow it out. He takes his one-year-old hand and just grabs the candle and burns himself.

Badass. That's pretty much. That's who Tommy Walker is. Tommy Walker will always grab the flame. Oh, yeah. And my other kids, they won't grab the flame. They'll do what they're told. Tommy Walker, though.

He's a flame grabber. Yep. Like Enrique. He's a dead devil. Oh, God. So. Okay. All right.

I think that's how Evil Knievel started out. Grabbing fires? Yes. First birthday, grabbing the... I could never do what Evil... Were you a daredevil? You know how daredevils would you do? Jerry, it seemed like you would be a guy that would be down for whatever.

Kid I called, that was the kid who never got caught in manhunt. They were the kids jumping off shit. They were doing shit. While parents were thinking about seeing you say no, they were already done. I was never a daredevil. I was a pussy. I was the kid who made other kids be daredevils. I'd be like, I would do it, but it'd be sick if you did it because then you could be blah, blah, blah.

So you're just an asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bully is the term. A manipulator. Kate was a manipulator. Or the big cat of your friend group. Yeah, pretty much. That's all Big Cat does on the show.

He manipulates the rest of us to do crazy things. Yeah. And TJ apparently is Big Cat's trainee, and he bullied me into doing a second wheel today. How much research did you have to do to go back and find that? I checked like four or five episodes. So you've been just the whole episode. I don't want to go against, if we set a rule in the past,

which we've set like thousands of rules on this show by now, I don't want to go against one that makes us bad for the future. Rules all the rules. I made sure, and we did set that rule. I mean, once a law is a law, I think you can repeal it. I don't think it's that big of a deal. Yeah, totally.

What? What? I don't... Okay. We all are thinking about bigger things. What was that again? I missed that. Yeah, because were you in the phone?

I wasn't. I just missed the joke. I didn't know where you were going with the joke. Don't worry about it. All right, fair. I say jokes so rapid fire. I've got such a high level of't. I just missed the joke. I didn't know where you were going with the joke. Don't worry about it. All right, fair. I say jokes so rapid fire. I've got such a high level of comedy. I have to catch it.

You watch the show later. You'll love it. I'll catch it. You'll fucking love it. You don't want to wade into a joke like that. Bro. Right. All right.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes. There it is. I may done? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes. There it is. I may have been in a... There we are. We're talking about Dwayne Reed. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think Jerry fully gets it. I don't understand that at all. That's okay. That's okay. It's okay, buddy. It's all right. It's very controversial. Jerry, you got big plans for the weekend?

Derby party. Oh, yeah. We got a different name earlier when we were talking. You had a big plans for the weekend? Derby party. Oh, yeah. You got a different name earlier when we were talking. You had a different name for the party. What was it? The midget party. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You went to the midget party. Zah's very angry that he's not involved. Yeah, like, how did you get in on this? Zah, I mean, you want to put a jockey outfit on? Yeah, fuck it. Well, we got to talk. Wait, where is it? Where is it?

When is it? Where is it? I think it's in Caldwell or? Yeah, fuck it. Well, we gotta talk. Where is it? When is it? I think it's in Caldwell or Fairfield, New Jersey. On Saturday? Yep. Alright, so I guess we'll talk after the show. That'd be interesting. I don't understand how you just invited yourself to the... No, he's qualified, I understand, but I just...

Okay. Yeah, he's qualified for sure. Jerry, come on. No, I'm not like that. God damn, man. You can come. You can come. I don't know if it's a good time. Can y'all come?

Yeah. You know what? I was going to say, I actually, they hate me. The midget universe? They hate me. Why? Why? Like they're king?

No, not even. It's because I don't give a fuck about the word. It's because you're blind. The word itself. No, no. That's it. Oh. Well, I assume that has part to do with it.

Yeah. Wow. Because the word's in my name and all that, and they don't like that. Damn. Do you get actively chirped and stuff, or not anymore? So there's not that many. There's not that many dwarves that follow me, But here and there, it's not as frequent. But yeah, I do get tripped up.

I should have said dwarf party. I'm sorry. No, it's all good. I know, but some people take offense. It's just crap, you know? We'll get Zah involved. If it's not this year or next year, he'll be there. You better go this year, Zah.

You got my party next year. There you go. You having a party next year? We're supposed to have it this year. Easter, deaths set us back a little bit. Taxes. Yeah. Yep.

My neighborhood had a Christmas one. Did you pay your taxes this year? Well, no. I shouldn't say that. They caught me. They caught me. Okay. So you might be going away from it.

You got to. Possibly. Adds to your street cred, honestly. I think it's pretty cool. Yeah, but I think his street cred gets hurt when he runs out of a room because Kahn's walks in. Oh. Well, Kahn's farts a lot.

Does he? I don't blame him. I didn't know that. Oh, dude. ZBT seems like a farter show. I mean, it's pretty farty. Frank, big plans for the weekend? What are you going to do for the Derby?

I don't know yet. I haven't found plans. Can you tell us which horses you like, Frank, so I can cross them off? No disrespect. Geez. No disrespect. He hates Messier. Yeah, Messier's not going to win.

Messier wins. What else do you like? I haven't really looked at the field yet. All right. Can you please? You have my number. Please text me. We know you're cursed.

You're Oph-ass what? I have never won a, I haven't won a Derby pick in about 25 years. All right. See, so, I mean, the man said it. You know what they say, Frank, that's straight from the horse's mouth, that information. Nope, that's true. I mean, I mean, sometimes I feel like I'm that guy from Bronx Tale. Yeah, Eddie Mush. Yes. Yaddy Mush.

Yes. I never saw it. Oh, well. It's a good movie. I was busy watching good movies. I heard Finger Blast is a fast horse. Good one. You know, if I had a horse, I'd name it About to Be Glue.

Zandon, Epicenter, Messier, White, Abario, Moe, Donegal. Why haven't any of them moved? Smile happy when you like one. Epicenter. Target, Crown Pride, Simplification, Cyberknife, Zozo's, Happy Jack, Summer's Tomorrow, Tis the Bomb, Pioneer of Medina, Barber Road, Classic Causeway, Tawny Port, and Ethereal Road. That sounds like a bad movie. Walker Tits. Epicenter.

There's no Walker Tits up there. I wish Barstool Chicago's horse was named Fowl Boy. Do they still have that horse? I don't know. Pieces of it. Probably dead. Pieces of it, right. Probably cheats.

All right. But if I had a horse, I'd name him all after glue products like Gorilla Glue, Super Glue. Elmer's Glue. Just name it Elmer. Yeah, then it turns into Elmer's Glue later. Right. Process. Trust the process.

I'm not even going to say it. It's the stupidest joke. Taxidermy. On this show, I doubt it. All right. The guy, he says he wants his goal in life, and he's involved in horses. He wants to have a horse named On My Face so that when people are rooting for it, they can be like, I'm On My Face!

I'm On My Face! He fucking says it every time I say it. It's fucking the best. You must have seen that horse 30 or 40 times already. My back is the one I root for. That's the one. Oh, man. All right, that's a good place to um all right to finish right that's a good tank thursday thank you tank thank everybody all right

taped episode tomorrow it's very good the crew is back monday that's the act We'll be right back. It's time to stock shop and do a Yankee pop. It's the act. It's the act. DAZN.com slash Barstool. Buy the fight. Boom. Shout out the chat.