The Yak - The Gang Investigates Child Labor Laws | The Yak 6-19-23

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Concrete jungle where dreams are MADE OF!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up. No, let me have the first sip. I won't put it on my lips. Let him waterfall it, dude. Waterfall it. Come on, bro. No, come on.

Please. Oh, there's a bunch. I would do that for you. I would do that for you. Pour it out in the sink. You'll be pissed for 15 minutes, then you'll feel amazed. And you'll thank yourself. I know I want it. Why would I be pissed? Because you're craving it. Pour it out in the sink. Pour it out in the sink. You'll be pissed for 15 minutes, then you'll feel amazing. And you'll thank yourself. I know I want it. Why would I be pissed?

Because you're craving it, but that's... Pour it out in the sink. If you really want... Why would I pour it out in the sink? If you really want... If you really want the energy, you take... Trust me. A hundred of those ice cold Red Bulls, and you get it in a bath.

Then you get in the bath. Or just one yerba mate, dude. Oh, hell no. It's a panic attack waiting to happen. I'm off two right now. Jesus Christ. What is that? 800 milligrams of caffeine?

I'm a fucking monster. My boy's sizzling like bacon. That hand was trembling. You've gone through the wall. So much caffeine. You're tired again? I'm exhausted. That actually happens easily.

Yeah. By the way, we're sponsored by Roback. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Wearing the joggers right now is wearing the shorts all weekend. Roback.com, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, shorts, joggers, everything, T-shirts, Roback.com. The best.

What's up, guys? Best of all time. Good to see you guys. Are we doing this show wrong? Should we just be having fucking Steven playing every one of our parts, editing it, and then we can just dub ourselves over? Just when we want to, royal family style? Yeah.

We should do an episode. That's crazy. Steven plays every seat. Yeah. We come in and say our lines. Right. I downloaded ChatGPT this weekend. Maybe we have ChatGPT write us one

and we just come and do our lines whenever we feel convenient or just send them in. How much was she getting paid? $20 million. Not bad. Bad. Just her? Who?

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. They got their podcast deal was ended and there's like a bunch of news coming out and one of the stories today was that Meghan Markle would have a staffer do the interviews, and then she would come in and tape the questions. No way, really?

It was $20 million for like six episodes? 12. That's smart. 12 episodes, $20 million. That's really smart. What do they talk about on their podcast? I think like changing the world. How to colonize countries better? Yeah. What's the sweet. How to colonize countries better.

What's the sweetest way to colonize? Whatever they did to Honduras, dude. Why? They did a bad job down there? Yeah, awful. We fucked up Honduras. No. What have you been reading? There was no saving Honduras. Terry's white guilt must be suffocating.

Yeah, definitely. Well, not enough to work. I'd get a fucking restaurant job if I was him. He should have. When he denounced the royal family, he should have had to get, like, an internship at Barstool Sports. Bust his ass. I don't want his blue penis sitting next to me. Get rid of the coffee tables in case he knocks against his shin and dies.

Eyes. That bastard. Did he not admit he had a blue penis in his book? Oh, he might have read shin and dies. Eyes. That bastard. Did he not admit he had a blue penis in his book? Oh, he may have read it. Okay. Yeah. Did he? Is that what's in there?

I feel like every penis has a little bit of a blue tint to it. Not, no. Disagree. Like a little purple-ish tint. Purple is fine. Purple, maybe. What do you mean? Like a hue?

Yeah, a little tone. Purple is fine. Purple, maybe. What do you mean? Like a hue? Yeah, a little toned. A cock ring? Purple. I don't have any blue in my penis. Mine's, it's warm colors. Makes you feel anger. Makes you want to leave.

You could paint a jail cell, my dick. It's like the inside of a McDonald's. You think there's gay dudes, like, dying their penis the rainbow flag this month? Oh, their pubes. Definitely their pubes. Definitely their pubes. Maybe their ball hair, if that's a thing that people have. Their thick ball hair. You can't even see the skin.

It's probably hard to dye a penis. Think so? I think it's got to be. They're just like, well, you can't dye skin. You just get the the markers yeah it would have to be markers or stickers or something like that yeah i bet there's a handful of dudes out there with a rainbow cock right now yeah you could probably do that like hydro dipping right yeah that would be cool yeah that would be sweet oh that would be sweet one more that's like a

layer on the top yeah or the old classic great. You know, five different guys' lipstick. Yeah, and they just go down further and further. Or girls, depending on what kind of gay you are. True. I don't judge. Lesbians. I don't judge if you want to be a lesbian or if you want to be a gay. Stay away from our kids.

Stay away from the public library. Stay away from the school. And off the internet. I love the dudes that don't have kids Those guys are just as creepy I'm here to protect the kids Like oh yeah Your kid in middle school No I don't have any children

Uncle energy guys Who aren't even really uncles Yeah right just spend their whole day Thinking about how the kids Have to be safe That's a little too much to me Yeah, right. Just spend their whole day thinking about how the kids have to be safe. Yeah, that's so weird. That's a little too much to me.

That's worse than a pedophile? That's all they think about. It's pedophile adjacent. You're thinking a lot about kids that aren't yours. Pedophiles probably get it off their mind. They can move on to the next thing. Not these guys. Fucking perverts. They fantasize about having their like their son their fictional son's

third grade classroom be a trans girl so they could let her trans step up so they could like come in and like strangle her parents yes it's also like like i get it it's a very touchy topic right now but the idea of like a guy with no children in like new jersey getting upset about a middle school in like Oregon. Like fucking leave the kids, leave our kids alone. It's like we need to go to Oregon. Like I'm driving out to Oregon. Shut this shit down. Don't you have other things in your life? They're like 44 and they're like when I have kids

I can't, what am I going to do? Yeah. Someday I'm going to have kids. I want to make it to a future father right now. Yeah. They're celebrating Father's Day. Proud future fathers. Proud future fathers.

They're overly proud future fathers. Yeah. Like, aren't you going to wish me happy Father's Day? What is this? It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. From a pope who has never had kids. Fuck do you know, dude? Pope John XXIII made that meme.

You think some of those dudes were celebrating Father's Day? Like someday. Poor kid came home. Was that me and you cracking up at Lenny Kravitz's dick and balls coming out? Did we even touch on that topic? Oh my god, dude. That was awesome. What happened to Lenny Kravitz's dick and balls coming out. Did we even touch on that topic? Oh, my God, dude. That was awesome. What happened to Lenny Kravitz's dick and balls?

His reveal. You know. What happened? You've seen the video. I have not seen the video. Of course you have. His pants explode and his penis explodes. Yeah.

Well, no. When just your penis comes out, it's kind of still masculine. Yeah. And you're still in control. When your dick and balls plop out, that's when it's all shame. Lenny Kravitz's dick and balls? Yeah, he squatted. At a concert, as he was in leather pants

doing a guitar solo, dropping down low to make it real funky. How was that not... And everything flopped? Everything flopped out. The balls come out, too. The balls are exposed as well. That's right.

It loses... It's an explosion. Your dick's like over your waistband. That's like whatever. The balls come out, too. As soon as the balls are exposed as well, it loses. It's an explosion. Your dick's, like, over your waistband. That's, like, whatever. But as soon as the balls. Like, when you think about, like, getting pantsed when you're in, like, middle school. I guess is it the movement? Is that what makes it embarrassing?

The jiggle. The hang. I think it's the presence, the visual presence of the balls. Balls are the gayest part of the body? By a mile. More gay than the asshole. Also, just of the balls. Balls are the gayest part of the body? By a mile. More gay than the asshole. Also, just think about it. They're also like, they look weird, they're ugly,

and the only thing that can happen with them is get hurt. Yeah. Yeah, there's no feeling. There's no good feeling around the balls. Getting them sucked on? No way. No. That actually hurts.

You ever see that in a porn where when a chick like sucks a ball? Yeah. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah. Hard, yeah. They suck them hard. Yeah, real hard. Or of course the old classic

dick in the ass, balls in the pussy. Yeah. Oh. You guys never saw that video? Balls aren't big enough. No. On the pussy? Dick in the ass and balls in the pussy?

I don't got that type of length. Oh, no. You need some stretchy balls to pull off that move. I got dick in the ass, balls in the pussy? I don't got that type of length. Oh, no. You need some stretchy balls to pull off that move. I got dick in the ass, balls in the lower ass. Oh, my fucking God. Dick in the ass, balls in the pussy? Is that a thing? It was a video that we watched all the time in college.

The guy was just narrating it into the camera. How do you even do that? It was kind of like have you ever seen tea steeped? Oh, you steep. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, you're like kind of steep. Slightly putting it in. Oh, I understand how the balls could get into the pussy. I don't understand how your balls

are that long. I know. It's kind of like when you reach into a jar of pickles kind of like this type of. Damn. Anyway. I of like when you reach into a jar of pickles, kind of like this type of. Damn.

Anyway. I'm like tip of the penis in the belly button, balls in the pussy. Yeah. That's how I roll. We got to get Nick the Lenny Kravitz video. I'd like to see it. I got to get my phone. Have you never saw it?

No. You've never saw Lenny Kravitz's balls popping out? Nick, I sent it. No. Oh, you sent it? Yeah. I thought this just happened. No. No, this is like an old-timeless...

We're celebrating Lenny Kravitz. I think Tom Segura tweeted out the video of the guy with his balls in his own ass. Have you ever seen that video? I don't know. Isn't that a pleasant little surprise? Yeah. It keeps going. To me?

I want to see it, too. It keeps going. I wrote in the chat, I want Colby to I want to see it too. It keeps going. I want Colby to be able to see it too. This wasn't like the guy dancing at the wedding when his dick and balls pop out. Have you guys seen that one? Oh, it does sound familiar, but they all kind of run together. The dick and balls popping out. Dancing at wedding.

Penis and balls pop all the way out. Okay. Oh, yeah, this is old. This is a classic. Maybe I have seen this. Yeah, this guy. Look how hard he's rocking. Woo!

Oh, yeah. He knew the second it happened. Yeah, but he keeps going. And he finds a way to tuck his balls behind his legs. He's doing a little Buffalo Bill action. Buffalo Bill's his balls. I just sent my favorite. Whoa!

Whoa! I just sent my favorite dick and ball pop out video. It's the guy dancing at the wedding. If anybody wants to watch it. Can we show these, TJ, or no? Pants during dance reveals dangling gong. He's got a massive. Oh!

His dick is fucking huge in what the viral hog video or kravitz you're the the musician one lenny kravitz yeah that would make sense dude how does the guy at the wedding what is that it's what your your underwear and the pants break at the same time? You must have gone underwearless. That's crazy. That's insane to get that low and go underwearless in what I presume to be a tailored suit. Yeah. I don't think that that's a shameful thing at all. I think that's actually impressive.

Yeah, there's probably dudes making tear-away pants. He's got a big ball sack. I've split some pants at a wedding before. Really? Yeah. I've never split pants. Oh, I never have. Splitting them at your penis is a whole different bag. Splitting my ass.

Look at the video that Nick just put in there, KB. There's a fresh video of a guy dancing at a wedding and his penis flops out. I don't even know how he got on Kravitz. Maybe the fact that Lisa Bonet was fucking Kravitz and then now Momoa. Kravitz to Momoa and then now they're divorced.

Who's next? Kravitz fucks so well. Yeah. Yeah, whichever Everything too. ambiguously raised the guy up next. I've got to

Yeah. Guys, girls, everything. Yeah. Hero. He pleases everyone. Fuck, he's an old school rock andls, everything. Yeah. Hero. He pleases everyone. He's an old-school rock and roll fucker. Right. Just get loose in the sweet at a Rich Carlton.

Apparently he would clog every hotel toilet with just his shit. Who's that? That can happen. Pavitz. I've had that happen to me. Not me, but it's happened to me. I got a toilet clogger waiting to come out right now. Yeah?

All right, son. Come on now. Let? All right, son. Come on now. Let that thing go, then. Yeah, I'm holding on to it. A little pep in my step. Hey, if it lands on wet, four straight, you're going to shit yourself. All of your shits are debilitating. Oh, they are.

It's bad. That's how I know you didn't quit drinking. No, I broke last night. Oh, no. Actually, I feel really bad about myself right now. I went 11 days. That's a lot. Yeah.

It's huge. And then I broke. Yeah, but it's just. It's streaking MLB. That is bottom line. I should have just waited. I should have just gone the full two weeks. Three more days.

Yeah, but you were trying to go a month. Well, originally it was two weeks, and then I was like, ah. Who originally says two weeks? That's a lie. Why? Either a week or a month. You actually said it at two weeks? Yeah.

Two weeks is a long time. It's just a weird span of time to choose. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I mean, I wasn't ever, like, planning on fully quitting drinking. I just wanted to. I thought it was a month.

It was two weeks and then I said a month. Also, you can't do that in the summer. I can. And it was actually going really well. You literally can't. You proved that you can. What made you break? I went to Shane's show last night and then we went out.

Oh, no. You survived Ontario. Easily. Oh, yeah. How was the how was the fight back probably the biggest challenge uh yeah it was like but it was and it wasn't there was one show where i really wanted to drink because i felt very tight on stage but then i just fucking powered through what was the locale of like ontario like Dude, Ontario was one of the weirder... Did you hit the Rainforest Cafe? No, I didn't hit anything. We went shopping.

We did a little shopping day. Who were you with? Mook and this kid, Andrew, who was open for me before. Where'd you guys shop? I feel like it's a strip mall-ass area. The whole city is one strip mall. You're just bouncing around from strip mall to strip mall. Where'd you shop? Men's

Warehouse? We hit Uniqlo and then we hit Tommy Bahamas. Hell yes. Tommy Bahamas didn't pick up any Tommy Bahamas, but I did buy some Tommy Bahama-esque shirts from Uniqlo that were $50 cheaper. Oh, but not nice. Oh, they're nice.

Tommy Bahamas, though. Some of the t-shirts are fantastic pieces. There'll be wordplay, and there'll be like a dog on a surfboard or some shit. Yeah, there were some dog surfboard. They got those long sleeve shirts that you wear when you fish. Yes. Keys. Yeah, but you got to be in pretty good shape to rock one of those.

No, you got to be old as hell, and you just just like, okay, I'll just wear this for the rest of my life. Yeah. I did pick up some. I'm gonna wear, I'm gonna be wearing some button-ups this summer, though. What? My new look, I think. Just like patterned tees. Hawaiian? Yeah, Hawaiian.

I should have just said Hawaiian. Yeah. Hawaiians aren't button-ups. Well, they are. They button-up. Tactically, but they're Hawaiians. They're in its own class. Yeah. Uniqlo makes some. Hawaiians aren't button-ups. Well, they are. They button-up. Tactically, but they're Hawaiians. They're in its own class. Yeah. Uniqlo makes some good Hawaiians. I had no idea.

Yeah. Uniqlo's the best. Where's it from? Japan, but made in China. Really? Yes. Yeah. It's a Japanese brand, right?

Yeah. Yeah, but everything's made in China. I didn't know that. Yeah. It's a Japanese brand, right? Yeah. Yeah, but everything's made in China. I didn't know that. Yeah. These are shirts. They're so thick you can't see any shape of your body. Same with Abercrombie. They're just making clothes so cheap that you can just afford to just throw them in the trash after wearing them once.

It's fucking awesome. But they're good quality clothes. So you know someone's little infant hands are working overtime. Uniqlo, like this shirt is like thick as hell. And it's like a good quality shirt. You're still wearing a shirt underneath. And this is $15. This shirt anywhere else would be $70.

You know there's children working on this shirt. Yeah. 100%. And they're doing a great job. They need some positive affirmation. They do. I always pictured in my head, how does it actually work with the kids making these clothes? Their little hands.

Are they in like a, where are they? A warehouse probably. Is there any footage? Sweatshop footage. Are they all like in a group, in a class? I do love that. I think maybe it's just my algorithm has got this for me but there's like i've seen a ton of tweets about like little little kids in like west virginia in like the turn of the century working in mines oh they were like being like they were nine back when like america was america it's like yeah and we had our seven

year olds working yeah those are the people that they go on tiktok and they're like i was born in Back when America was America, we had our seven-year-olds working. Yeah, those are the people that they go on TikTok and they're like, I was born in the wrong generation. It's like, dude, you would be in a fucking coal mine. They'd be using you to detect carbon monoxide. It's just like this love affair with like 100 years ago. It's crazy. That child died. You had five minutes to get out of there.

That fucking big-ass dude who's always posting those videos. He would be in a mine right now. Or he'd be like the first soldier to die. If you're lucky enough to survive childbirth, you get to go to a mine when you're five. You will be dead by 18. Then get drafted to the military to carry a flag. God forbid you break your ankle when you're four. You're dead. They'll just leave you.

Oh, man. Those were the days when you're four you're dead. They'll just leave you. Oh man those were the days when people were. For social media. People were old age at 42 people would die at 45 with a heart attack like well he had a good run. You could die of natural causes at 11. Yeah. No questions asked.

It was just time. Loyalty meant something. At the end of Phil phil knight's book shoe dog uh he was like and we have come under a lot of scrutiny for nike's use of sweatshops but i personally went to the sweatshops in asia and can testify that we had the least bad sweatshops of all the sweatshops. Oh, okay. Nice. I'll continue to support. That's what I'm saying. I need to see what the sweatshops look like inside. I bet you it's not that bad.

I bet you it's probably pretty bad. You think everyone has their own area? Like something like this? Like a sensory area? Yeah, it's like a ping pong table. It's like the Headspace headquarters. Like a putting green. One of the funniest

Always funny bits Is Frank saying That he went to Vietnam He had a sweatshop in Vietnam He keeps on being like Yeah back when I was in Nam And they're like You owned a sweatshop in Vietnam

In the 90s There's no regulation They're just polluting to pollute The end dudes are getting a lot of hate 90s. There's no regulation. They're just polluting to pollute. The end dudes are getting a lot of hate. The parking lot of the sweatshop is just all those little tyke cars. Little tyke rickshaws. Car pooling on pegs.

Dudes pulling up in the Lightning McQueen electric car. In the VIP. CEO. Little sweatshop CEO. Yeah, man. I bet you it's all right there. I bet you they're fine. Probably chill.

Do they get paid? Not a lot. But they get paid, but it's like, you know. It's more affordable. Money is there. Yeah, money is worth less there. It's not like New York City. Ungrateful bastards. I'm going to have the same energy for those kids who are making like $1,000 a year that people have for me for making not a lot of money at 22.

Maybe if they get a little life experience. You're 12. What do you expect? You could buy all the ice cream you want. I can't imagine being mad about getting paid at 22. Gua Shun province. And my head down in a fucking sewer

when I was 22. Oh, Diego. He's doing this on purpose. Of course he is. He needs a little attention. Twice to get there. Loses a little bit of the luster. He does, yeah.

I understand, though. He's doing... He's trying to make a name for himself. Anyone who walks through here more than twice during the act is doing it on purpose or they just don't think about us

and tint it they just go into where they go no way because when Francis dropped something there last week he's the most sure handed man I've ever met he doesn't drop things there are a group of people not on this floor, but upstairs,

who will schedule me for meetings at like 1.30. We've been doing this show for a really long time. How long have you guys been doing it? Six years? Seven, six. Dave today was like, how about we do the rundown at 12.45? I was like, I kind of have this thing at one. Yeah.

Trying it out. We're trying to go mega. We're merging. Can we do 1230 Emerging We're so close to mega I don't think so I think we're like 5th on emerging We were 3rd on emerging

3rd on emerging okay Was that in order? I don't know Who made that? Probably Greer I want to know exactly what we have to do The guy who got hired to just fire everyone Oh we got a consultant in? We got like an Accenture guy? That's got to be a pretty...

I've already connected with him trying to get on his good side. Yeah. Let me know if you need any help. Any names you need. If your TikTok doesn't grow... Imagine if they just fired you. I mean...

That would be crazy. They sat me and Kyle down. They were like, your guys' podcast, we already have one of these, and showed us your logo. You guys are, this is redundant. They showed us the same thing with macro dosing. I was like, what the fuck is this?

Yeah, macro dosing really took off. I remember when our podcast and macro dosing came out at the same time, they were like, these are the next two brands. And now macro dosing gets like a million views every episode, and we're just right at the same. What is below emerging? Challenge. Challenge. I can tell you what we need to hit. We got a lot.

Oh, yeah. Give us some figures. The main one is 150K views per episode. Okay. We're like around like, is that with podcast? Yes. So what are we at? Bailey has to help. I can't tell you that number. We're like around 120. We that with podcast? Yes. So what are we at? Daily has to help.

I can't tell you that number. We're like around 120. We're above 75, under 150. But there were weekly podcasts that had 150. Why can't we just combine our five episodes? Yeah. Because that's the metrics they're measuring. Are we hurting ourselves by doing every day?

So to go mega, it's all about views or merch? Views and money. So everyone please like this stream. Do we make up for the views with lots of money? I think you need to be above all of the metrics to be mega. What if I put a cash infusion into Yak? Buy 10,000 t-shirts right now? You would hit mega?

Who's in mega? What do we get for being mega? Do we get like a ceremony? It might be worth it. Yeah, I have no idea. What if you buy all the t-shirts and then we resell all the t-shirts for the brand? I'm the dad who buys all the Girl Scout cookies. And my daughter was number one seller.

My Yak boys were mega. It's like, I can't afford my house because it's full of Yak t-shirts. It would be worth it, though. It would be worth it. Flex on everyone that were mega. The Yak just surpassed five and a half years this weekend. Wow. Holy fuck.

What a mile. We can legally drink. Dog years. Yeah. Maybe you still going strong, no booze? Yeah, 51 days. Damn. We need a reverse intervention.

I know, I do, yeah. I don't think we do, dude. It feels so much better not drinking. My whole thing is like I'm not afraid of discomfort anymore, but I am afraid. I'm afraid of being hung over. Yeah. Steven, are there any water bottles in there?

I need some water. The things that they're doing with mocktails these days almost makes it worth not drinking. It doesn't make you feel drunk, which rocks. Yeah, that's almost. Okay. The only difference is that you don't have, but they taste invariably better than alcoholic drinks,

like a fucking good-ass mocktail. Yeah. Fucking knock your sock, but it does make you feel drunk. I've probably accidentally done 51 days. Really? Yeah. Easily. Oh, yeah.

You don't really drink. In the past, yeah. I've done it accidentally for sure. Wow. Not even like one beer? I had one on Saturday night. I can't tell you the last time I had none. I'm just obsessed with time. I love't tell you the last time I had nothing. I'm just obsessed. You don't have time.

I love the feeling of being drunk. I like the feeling of getting drunk. I like the feeling of being drunk. I wish the Quaaludes were back or like whatever.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Around day 10, I started being like, well, what else is there? What are the other options to have fun? And then I realized

it's just pills. Which are... I'm starting to just pills. Which are... I'm starting to enjoy them a lot. Well, I meant substances-wise. I'm starting to... It started this week, like day 45 is when I started enjoying riding a bike. Yeah, I was having...

It was awesome not being hung over for that long. Well, that's the only reason I like getting drunk, but it's just not worth the time. See, my problem is I... I said this before, but it happened last night. I can't have one beer and then not go out. That same, because I hate the taste of all alcohol. I like beer, but it's just once I have one, and then it's just, well, what are we doing now? What's next?

What's the move boys yeah so Roan devoted like a smooth hour the other day to flicking these boys up high school high school grads

like they were about to graduate high school we were in Long Island City and these dudes were in front of the famous Pepsi sign in Long Island City you can dudes were in front of the famous Pepsi sign in Long Island City. You can see it as you drive up. What the hell highway is that?

FDR. You drive up FDR and to the right there's this sign. These dudes were flicking up in front of it. I almost always when I see people struggling to take a picture try to help them. I try to take their picture for them. I did that the next day, and it felt so good.

They were so appreciative. Yes, I did it multiple. And sometimes you get turned down. Sometimes they're like, I'm good. I was like, okay, perfect. I thought I'd ask. But then the next day I did it again. I did it on Sunday.

Just helping people take pictures. Yeah, I went one for two on Saturday. A British family denied me. Did they? Which is weird of them. Just accept the help. Do you guys ever have people ask for directions and you don't know? That's the worst.

That's embarrassing. Oh, I never know. I never know my own neighborhood. People will ask me, like, I'll be standing on my street, and I'll be like, wait, what street is this again? I won't, like, I just feel like such a schmuck. Knowing is so nice, though. I know.

You feel like a genius. You feel like Robinson Crus schmuck. Knowing is so nice, though. I know. You feel like a genius. You feel like Robinson Crusoe or like Magellan. You're like, I can tell any direction. I usually just send people off. Like, yeah, go that way. And then I know that once they'll have to ask someone else, but I've done my job. I fucked up once. I was getting off at the same stop as this guy.

He was like, hey, where's this stop? And I said, just get off when I do. And I missed the stop. I was doing the crossword. I at the same stop as this guy. He was like, hey, where's this stop? And I said, just get off when I do. And I missed the stop. I was doing the crossword. I missed the fucking stop. So I had to get off, and I was in Brooklyn at this time. We were trying to go down to Wall Street. So you had to go back?

With the guy. He went back with you? Yeah, he was pissed. Oh, my God. That's a bad one. Did you explain that you had missed it? Yeah. That's brutal.

Oh, my God. You had just gotten off and just let him This guy was already like looking disheveled Like running late it seemed Oh no Why did he put his life in your hands? Yeah You probably look like a city slicker Yeah

Which is nice You look like a real New York boy Yeah they do People do always ask us men for directions Well crossword You're doing, crossword. You're doing a crossword on the subway. People are like, oh, well, no tourist does a crossword on the subway.

You're comfortable. Born and raised. You're 100% won't miss your stop. Little did he know I had auto check on a Monday. So, big mistake. I always use auto-check. You gotta stop. No, you gotta tip your toe. You start with the minis, then do Monday's auto-check,

Monday's without, Tuesday's auto-check, Tuesday's without. You can't just dive in. What's auto-check? What the hell is this? What's wrong? Did you make them move? I made them move like five times.

Yeah, to do everything. That's amazing. That's so funny. Who took this video? Me. Volume down, I think I said something whack. Like, it wasn't offensive, but it was. You just saw, happened to see Roan, or were you with Roan?

What did you say? I think it was just unfunny. Were you with Roan? I think I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be way better. What were you guys doing together? Playing bocce.

Oh, hell yes. I think I said something bad this morning for a video, and I'm worried about it. For a video? For a video. I hope they don't use it. I watched a video that I took last night, and I heard my voice in the background,

and I said some really unfunny things as well. It's the worst. Yeah. And hammered, just yelling. That shit is embarrassing. I'm the Joker? Pretty close. Where were you? How was the show last night? Imagine if I just did that every time I went out. Every time you got drunk?

Long before you did it for this. That's just something I've been doing for years. It was just coincidence. You had the face paint on. You're like, wait, how many beers have we had? Four? Like, oh, shit. I'm the Joker, baby.

I forgot. Stop drinking. That's like what people that watch the case race think. Yeah. That's just how I am every night. Well, yeah, why wouldn't they? Yeah, I guess they're right. I hate myself so much right now.

Did you do Popeye's no Bev pretty easily? I Popeye's no Bev so easily that it started making me question why everyone was freaking out about it. Popeye's? Popeye's no Bev? Everybody was freaking out about that? Popeye's biscuit no Bev.

People always talk about how Popeye's biscuit, no Bev, is so hard. You cleaned the biscuit? No Bev. So easy. You raw dog it? You raw dog the biscuit? It's a moist, buttered biscuit. How quickly after are you having Bev?

I could have gone hours with no Bev. That's crazy. It was not even like a, I didn't even want Bev. You just got biscuit in your throat? Dude, it's not hard to biscuit in your throat? Dude it was It's not hard to eat that biscuit I assumed it was going to be so dry Would you have licked a stamp afterward?

Easily Would you have whistled? Easily I think I did whistle No Bev What a bold move So easy Yeah

Texted the fellas I said Popeyes no Bev What else did you get When you I said Popeyes no bev Yeah What else did you get When you When you went to Popeyes I got the Spicy chicken strips

And they were not good They were like You know when chicken You can tell it's not cooked All the way through Yeah Yeah that's how I got I got like two bites in

I was like this is I think this might be raw chicken It's like al dente Yeah Why is it snapping in my mouth Yeah that's the worst feeling That has to be Craven Popeyes There's Popeyes right across the street I think this might be raw chicken. Why is it snapping in my mouth? Yeah, that's the worst feeling. That's cold center. This had me craving Popeyes.

There's Popeyes right across the street. They got that nice-ass fish sandwich. Yeah, I don't love Popeyes. I used to. I used to swear by Popeyes, and then I got really into Chick-fil-A, and now Chick-fil-A sandwich is way better than the Popeyes sandwich. Yeah, but a fast food spot having mashed potatoes is nice. Yeah, that's true.

What other ones do? The biscuit was damn good. AFC. Boston Market. Y'all ever had Jollibee? Yes. Fried chicken and spaghetti? Yeah.

What? It's a Filipino fried chicken spot. They also have spaghetti. Oh, really? They have a cute little mascot, don't they? It's like a bee. Yeah. Yeah, I've had that before.

Well, that's cute. I want to pinch his cheeks. Did you say earlier people are getting on the Viet Bros? You're right. They're like the douchebags of East Asians. Really? What? I didn't say it.

Who's saying it? Who is saying it? Andrew Schultz. All the other Asians are saying it. Really? Yeah. What the fuck? I guess they're fuckboys.

Wait, you see that TikTok man on the street? Because they also said they were the most attractive. I'm tired of admitting that. But yes. Yeah. Hey, are you guys doing a video today? Yeah. Yes, we are.

We're golfing. Golfing. Has he announced it? Yeah. You guys are doing that? Marty somehow knows Michael Quinn. Guess what? I'm going to be on Barstool Sports tomorrow.

It'll be my debut. We start shooting in the evening or at night. Yeah, we're golfing with him. I don't know how this came to be because I don't know if he's ever expressed interest in golfing. But we're golfing with him tonight. But he was drunk at Jeremy's Ale House last night saying that he hopes Barstool pays him for this. I took out a Benji.

That's good. That's not bad. How much did you pay Chet? $2,200. So you gotta pay him more than Chet. He has like five times the following of Chet. Chet's like A-list. What do you think he is? He's S-list.

I hope our school pays me for the appearance. I'm like a world celebrity. I think there should be money in it for me. I've been taken advantage by so many people, whether it's a show or it's a record

deal. I did that record deal with the Gucci store song. I never saw a penny of it. That's low. Damn. He has a record deal. Are you lower than low?

I think so. Yeah, just give him a hundred. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My blue note's fucking filthy, though. I dropped it when I was leaving the ATM, so that's embarrassing. What ATM?

Chase? Chase. Yeah, they got the dirtiest indoor floors. Homeless guys come in there just to pee. It was the Chinatown one, and then there's a chair in there that the security guard sits in. It's like a fold-out lawn chair, but there's a hole in the middle. I think he poops. That's such a power move.

He just rips his pants through his dick and ball area and poops. That's how it should be. What's this? He's live already. Oh. All of his comments all day have been talking about Barstool, so people are very much anticipating this. Oh, no.

I'm surprised he hasn't done BFFs. Yeah, I just don't know how it's come to golfing. Well, it's probably because I'm assuming Marty reached out. Yeah, but to do anything, I think it was on their end to golf. I don't know. Really? Yeah. Or are they going to have him on Pick Central? Yeah.

I like the blue jade. Yeah, I mean, is he already drinking? Oh, no. Not yet, but I assume that's what he's going to do right now. Yeah, he might not show tonight. He'll show. What else is he going to do?

He's got to kind of flake. Yeah, he'll be there with bells on. You guys are going to pay him. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Paid appearance. I hope Barstool pays you're good there was a lot of comments asking if he's going on pmt oh well i guess you have to do that now

yeah i guess so someone asked so now you have to do that you just had sean evans i would love world of t-shirts on hot one oh man that would be incredible i was was Sean Evans. Best. He is? He's the best dude. When was he in here? Because I would have freaked out. That was like two weeks ago. God damn. Yeah, he's the man. Yeah, he cracks me up.

He's a great dude. Good interviewer. Yeah. Great dude. High Noon. You want to do a High Noon ad? Yeah, I do. Four ads today.

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or visit highnoonsbeers.com to find some delicious, tasty high noon premium tequila seltzers near you. The thinner can fits perfectly in the loop of a carpenter jean. Yes. Holy shit, it does.

You could always just load up on them. I bet I could fit eight in my pockets. Nah. You don't think? I think probably six. Six. Six. No, eight.

Eight. I could carry eight, but I could fit six in my pockets. Been TikTok all weekend. I could carry eight, but I could fit six in my pocket. Yeah. Been TikTok all weekend. I'm way behind. The algorithm's going to be very upset with you for that. No. Algorithm doesn't like when you're neglectful. Fuck.

Fucking, uh, the... What do you do? Just quit. Yeah. Good, you're right. Fuck, you're right. Quit. Fucking uh What do you do What do you Just quit Yeah I could You're right Fuck you're right Quit I could quit

Quit Yeah How Just tell him to stop Putting your takes on Or your clips on Part of my take And just be like

Hey just put them on mine instead Yeah Hey Don't quit All the stuff you're doing For the brand Just do them for me Personally instead Yeah you're doing for the brand, just do them for me personally instead.

Yeah, you're right, KP. Just stop. Yeah. So people are starting to move out to Chicago already? Yeah, PFT and Hank are there. They're there already? Spider. Who's next?

Malasek left, but he's not going to Chicago for like a month and a half Yeah that's what I was trying to figure out Virginia Hoos were terrible In the College World Series When are they good? Suck Virginia? Yeah

The only thing they're good at is that naked run they do And the Nazis And loving Nazis Probably some bad history down there When did they open up? Yeah loving Nazis. Probably some bad history down there. When did they open up? Yeah, the Tiki Torches, right? Was that near their school?

Tiki Torches? Yeah, it was. Charlottesville. Steven, how was your father's day? Get everything you wanted? I think so, yeah. It was good. Played some ball. Had some golf balls. It was a good day. Is that what ball you mean?

Yeah, what ball did you play? Hoops. Played pickup for the first time in several years. And? Feet are covered in blisters right now. But I played well. What shoes did you wear? So I packed most of my hoop and shoes.

So I played in Jordan 1s with one pair of socks. Terrible mistake. You need to have like 12 pairs of socks. Terrible mistake. You need to have like 12 pairs of socks. Who did you hoop with? Myself and there were some people at the park that I met. You were like, hey, you want to play? They asked me.

They had five so we ran threes. What do you do as a bespectacled man? You wear chums? Contacts. Okay. You had some... Your cupcake video was confusing. Why? I feel like it was pretty self-explanatory.

I feel like a lot of people could do it, but I did it pretty cleanly. What did he do? Cupcake all over his mouth? He said, eat a cupcake. He's like, watch this. Cupcake. Dominated it. Everyone can do that.

I don't think everyone can. Eat a cupcake? Eat a cupcake. In one bite? Yes. I think you could do that. I think Brandon can do that. Put respect to my name, bro.

Put respect to my name. You can do it, bro? I can do it. What? Absolutely. My jaw unhinges like a python. Okay. One of the all-time big mouths.

Look at this. He's like, watch this. Oh, not a big cupcake. Oh, no. It's a regular cupcake. Wait, wait all-time big mouths. Look at this. He's like, watch this. Not a big cupcake. It's a regular cupcake. It's not baked by Melissa shit. No. It looks like a thimble. Everyone check this out.

You're holding it between two fingers? Look at that. It's from a bakery. Who wouldn't be able to fit that? You did bad. You did poorly. Who would not? It would be more shocking if one of us

couldn't do that. Bring in a box of these exact ones. They're from a bakery in New Jersey. Get them for roofball day. When is roofball? Thursday. Oh boy. I need you there, buddy.

I'm excited. Roof buddy. I'll be there. I'm excited. We're going to have anything on Thursday. Roof ball is going to be fun. Yeah. Do we know how to play the game? Yeah, I'll be the ref. So who's competing? All of you guys.

Che, Clemmer, Jersey Jerry, and the homeowner. Great. That's going to be it. I was talking to Michelangelo. I think the founder is going to fly out to sanction the event. What? Yes. So he'll be there on Thursday. That's incredible. I love that.

Fully sanctioned roof ball? Let's not let him step on any toes. We got to do something to show him we're boss. I saw an early cut of the video that Doug's and Michelangelo did, and that's a no-nonsense man that will be coming out. I saw it as well.

We should pants him. There's no joking about it. We should pants him right away. We should give him a commemorative pair of pants that just rip away at his penis. Yeah. As soon as he bends down to it a little bit, they explode at the penis. How long does a game take, TJ? It's ten

throws per person, three people per game. What? We can't all play together? It's three heats of three. It's pod play, I think. Yeah, it's three heats of three, and then the winner from each round moves on to the finals. But is there also a winner from each round and then a fourth wild card? It's three playing the finals.

Oh, really? How do we select the heats? I don't really like that. I think it should be the three best. Yeah, the best person from each round. But that doesn't necessarily mean best. We could do a fourth wild card. It doesn't matter. Yeah, we do a fourth wild, because what happens if

one pod is the pod of death? That's bullshit. How do you pick the wild card? Highest scorer that didn't make it through.? Highest scorer that didn't make it through. Yeah, highest scorer that didn't make it through. Let's pick the pods. I want to know right now. We're going to do it based on honor system, so just

1-10, how good are you? I'm a 9. Probably a 4. I'd give myself a humble 8. I'd say I'm an 8.5. I'm good at catching, but I don't know if I'm good at moving throughout the lawn. I'll give it seven and a half. Okay, so me and Roan will be in a...

Yeah, I'm a four. Yeah, I'm a nine. Steven's probably pretty high. What are you? Oh, Roan, you're not a four. I can throw and catch, so I don't know. Yeah, probably eight to ten. What is it?

It's the five of us. Ten range. Steven, Jerry, Clemmer. That's only eight. And the homeowner. Oh, and nine. Okay. Is the homeowner good?

What is his stats? Well, it's homeowner. One child. His metrics. One wife. Child, one wife. Is he the only one? He can practice.

What do you think about drag shows? Drag children's reading shows. We need to know that before we go over there Roofball but in drag Holy shit It's God intended Roofball All of us are in thongs

And there's a field of children there watching us If you were going to be in drag What would your name be? That's a good question Che You'd probably just have to go Daniela right? I don't think you have to be necessarily trans. Oh. What?

Che, what did you just do to us? Drag isn't that... Yeah, you just dress up like a woman. You can be whoever you'd like, yeah. Yeah, so it'd be Daniela. No? That's your choice. I would probably go with a more masculine name.

Really throw people off. Maybe I'd always, it'd be cool to be Christina with an X. Xtina. That's a good drag name. Yeah, Xtina. Like Big Monica. Oh, Big Monica. Big Monica would be good.

Not Fat Monica. Big Monica, yeah. Coming to the stage, Big Monica. Big Monica. It's a standing up. I like that fat Monica. Big Monica. Yeah. Come into the stage, big Monica. Big Monica. It's a standing up. I like that. You're a big Monica. Yeah, I am big.

A big Monica's damn good for a drag now. Do you want to be little Monica? No, I'm Bowser. Oh, you're Bowser? I don't know what I would be. Stacy? I've been yeah I'm trying to think of something

with a snake in the name like a python or an aspergill I don't know what it is Samantha yeah that's what it was it'd be viper

with like viper yeah yeah viper viper viper yeah I couldn't do it thank you for taking that over you got to do this wild honey man Yeah, Viper. Viper. Yeah, I couldn't do it.

Thank you for taking that over. You got to do this wild honey, man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Donnie's here. You want to just do it now? I think, Nick, you'd be Nicholas. No, I want to do it in the morning, but I won't do it this week. I think I'd be Nicholas Pussy.

Yeah, or Lick-a-liss. Oh, Lick-a-liss is good. Lick-a-liss. Like Legolas, but it's like Legolas. But also Nicholas. I never realized how close your name is to Legolas as it is. Nicholas, Legolas. Yeah.

Fuck. Whoa. What the hell was he trying to make up a name like Legolas? Polkene? Yeah. How much do you hate dudes that do that business insider guy that do Nick with a C-H? That's how I spell my name, and I just, I don't quite get it. I don't either.

Dude to do N-I-C-K. Yeah. Because then it's the same as like R-I-C-H, and you say that rich. Yeah, niche. Niche, yeah. Niche. There's names like that where you're like, you can't, if you're a Nick, you can't accept him. Yeah. Can't have that.

I don't even like N-I-C. Like Jeffs and accept him. Can't have that. I don't even like NIC. Jeffs and Geoffs. Can't have that. Yeah, Geoffs are crazy. Geoffs are wild. Yeah, Geoff doesn't make sense at all to me. Jeffrey with the Geoff. Geoffrey.

You just should have to say it, Geoffrey. Which is so embarrassing. Even if you're a royal. Are there any famous Jeffs with a G? Yes. Jeff Jenkins? Toys R Us? Jeffrey, yeah. Jeffrey the butler from World Famous.

He is. Jeffrey the butler from... What's Elmo's birthday again? February 3rd. Same as mine. Jeffrey the butler from Fresh Prince. These are all fictional characters. I said Jeff Jenkins, the baseball player. We asked if there's a famous Jeff, and he said Fresh Prince. These are all fictional characters. Jeff Jenkins, the baseball player.

We asked if there's a famous Jeff, and he said, yeah. Yes. He's all right. How did you not think of me? A-Lister. Who's that? That's a dude I recognize. From Chopped and others.

Oh. Jeffrey Zakarian. Cool-ass name. and others. Oh. Jeffrey Zarkarian? Zarkarian? Cool last name. Geoff. Hmm. I don't think of other names that

if you're this names that can't be respected Yeah. by their own community It's like Travis and I mean Tavis Like a Tavis and the Travis

There's too many Sean's Too many variations of Sean I don't fuck with any W What's the The Alpha Sean is E-A right I think I think A-W-N You

No no no no S-E-A-N is the alpha Sean. Everything else is variant of that Sean. S-H-A-W-N, S-H-A-U-N, S-H-U-A-N. Those are all variants. C-H-O-N-E. Like Sean Fingans. Sean Fingans.

Sean Green was S-H-O-N-N, the running back. But Sean Green, the baseball player, was S-H-A-W-N. Alexander was A-U-N. Yeah. Alexander was A-U-N. Damn. That's what I can contribute. I think E-A is the... S-E-A-N? Yeah, that's the way to say it.

That's confused. That confuses people. How? That's how it's seen. No. That's how it was intended. It's like the Irish... It's God intended.

Sean. Oh, it's Sean. Sean Green. Irish ass name. I don't buy it. How was the show last night, though, Sass? It was great. Change ready?

Tell us everything about it, bro. Tell us some behind the scenes shit that we wouldn't have known. He's doing a special, right? Coming up? Yeah. Saturday. That's in front of the it, bro. Tell us some behind-the-scenes shit that we wouldn't have known. He's doing a special, right? Coming up? Yeah. Saturday. That's in front of the scenes, though. Give us behind-the-scenes.

Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino were there. They opened. No. That was cool. They popped in. What'd they say? They did material. Nice.

Santino was really fucking funny. Very funny. They killed. Big cat with red hair. Yeah, I like him a lot. He was really fucking funny. Very funny. He killed. Big cat with red hair. Yeah, I like him a lot. He was really good. What about afterwards? What was that party like?

It wasn't much of a party. Where was it? It was just a handful of fellas. Where was it? We just went to a bar. What bar? I don't remember what it was called. It was nice, though. It was a cool bar.

Was there famous people there? No, there was a cool bar. Was there famous people there? No, there was no one there. Was there famous people that you guys were with? I don't know. Just Shane and friends. Okay. Houdini. Buddy Marcello was there.

It was cool. Marcello from SNL? Mm-hmm. Nice buddy to have. Marcello Hernandez. 22 years old, just having buddies like that on SNL. Well, I've known him since before SNL. That rules that Shane's friends are a bunch of SNL guys.

Yeah, I don't think he really is, though. I guess Michael Che. More sassy friend. Oh, that's your friend. Sorry. No, they're friends. But it's more sassy friend. I don't know. Let's hurt each other. What kind? No, they're friends. But it's more a sassist friend.

I don't know. Let's hurt each other. What kind? Kick each other's shins? I don't know. Push each other's shoulders and kick each other's shins? Do I do a shin kicking? No.

I'd be down for a little bit of pain in shins. I mean, do we need it? Mook tried to kick me in the shin on Saturday night. I'll get kicked in the shin. He's trying to compensate. He's trying to compensate. He's like a kickboxer. He's doing kickboxing classes for like six months

and doesn't have any kickboxing. Kickboxing classes are for women. Like, let's be honest here. That's who they're for. And did you see him kick the bottle off that dummy's head? Barely.

You shouldn't count if you can't stay up. I used to do that boxing gym Remember that was right under the bridge No That one's real There was one that was under the bridge a block up And it was like

It showed up and it was just all moms This really makes you feel Like Orange Theory Can't really say you're going to a boxing gym When that happens But people love it and apparently it's a really good workout. It's a great workout. But now it's like if you're a dude, you've got to grapple.

Yeah, he looks great. Yeah. Something's working. It's made him more confident. Yeah, clearly. I want to go to a boxing gym where there's like a 100-pound Mexican guy to kick my ass. Yes, that's the dream. Oh, my God.

Mexican lightweights are phenomenal. They're the best. Boxing lifers must be just, like, so pissed at the amount of people who are just recreationally using it as, like, their way. Oh, I box. Yeah, like, oh, yeah. Oh, you have a timer, and you hit a bag for, like, 60 seconds, and you do some burpees. Like this. Yeah.

That's what you boys are hating. Yeah, we are. I'm hating. Unlike a 45-year-old dude who takes up boxing to get in shape, thinking that they're like fucking Mike Tyson. It's also self-hate. I hate myself. Me too.

I've been doing a lot of shit that I hate, even in the moment. Like what? Just like everything. Like everything? Everything lately. Just hate it. Just despise it. Yeah. I thought you were saying how you started enjoying i'm just happy and i don't but that's it you hate doing them i've always enjoyed biking i didn't need to give up drinking to enjoy biking

that shit is a fucking blast it feels so good well i don... I'm comfortable doing it on the road now. I have the confidence to swerve through cars, which is a big step. Yeah, it is. It's all you have to do. If you play by the rules, you're stopping every 15 seconds. No, you fucking gotta be booking through.

Biking's a little scary in the city. That's probably a little adrenaline rush for you, though. A little spike. Yeah, it's true. Spike for the brain. Keep you alert a little adrenaline rush for you, though, little spike. Yeah, it's true. Spike for the brain. Keep you alert a little bit. There's, like, a documentary about bikers in New York, and, like, it's dudes on, like, pretty much a derby race.

Like, these bikes literally do not have brakes, and they're, like, trying to get from one place in New York to the other. Like, they're flying through intersections, not stopping as they go through full traffic. Have you seen those ghost bikes on the side of the street? Yeah. Yeah. Go do it. No, I farted and it smells so bad. Oh, no.

Oh. So. God. That's. It's shit, man. That's just shit. Did you shit your pants last night? It's enough shit came out of your ass to smell like shit.

Maybe it was in particle form. I haven't smelled it yet. I don't know if it's going to hit you guys, but it smells damn bad. I'm kind of jealous. Has it hit? No. I don't think you guys are going to get it. I just got enough of a taste of it.

A little taste. Spread your ass. I'm not getting it at all. Damn. It must have stuck to me. In and out. The sign of a good fart. What cologne you're rocking.

I don't wear cologne. No, what shit cologne. Who was like the loser of social media this weekend? Well, Jordan Love was, but now Packers fans are all up in my ass. I don't know if you saw it. He had a video where he was, like, I just want to wish Happy Father's Day to all Bears fans. And then, like, because the internet is set up in a way that it's, like,

Packers just shit on the Bears because of Rodgers. Like Bleacher Report and like SportsCenter and ESPN all were like, damn, Jordan Love doesn't hold back. And I read it and I was like, he's saying that I'm his dad. Is it Happy Father's Day? Oh, yeah. All Bears fans out there.

Yeah, he fucked that up. I was like, this is ridiculous. And then now, so packers fans took that l and now there's more context that essentially was a bears fan asked him to wish happy father's day to bears fans and so like you got to say the context like wait but that still is stupid if you're the packers quarterback you shouldn't say that shouldn't you shouldn't grant that request aaron rogers would never. Never would do that.

Yeah, that's ugly. Gave him an 83 on Madden. Jordan Love. That seems high. Crazy. Based on nothing. Yeah. Does that not seem high to you, Che?

Nothing. He had a good game against the Eagles. Pretty much all starters are low 80s if they're unproven. Unless it's a rookie, it'll be high 70s, low 70s out of the first round. Che, right now, gun to your head, which one of these rookies has the best year of all the quarterbacks? Oh, boy. I sure hope it's not Bryce Young.

Will Levis not getting good reports so far out of Tennessee. Malik Wills apparently passed him on the depth chart. I don't know. I mean, are we talking stats-wise or winning? Winning the best season. Just answer the question. Winning and team improvement. Who has the best season?

I'll take a hole in your skull. You're dead. CJ Stroud. CJ Stroud, but I do like Anthony Richardson. It's got to be Richardson. That's a pussy answer. It's got to be Richardson. See how I said it with conviction?

Yeah. Richardson. Stetson Bennett. Boom. Did it Answered your question Sean McVay and his wife Pregnant Of course that's the news

Like you wouldn't get You'd get the Bud Light news Two months later But you're the first Did you already know that? No I didn't know that I don't give a fuck It's Sean McVay

It's what happened I mean Apparently five months. So I'm interested if he's going to miss games or there's also. No, I'll answer you right now. No. Yeah, I don't think so either. Games, plural is one game a week.

Yeah, right. Even if even if she was like giving birth on a Sunday, the most he could miss is one game. That's true. KB, my loser of the weekend is anybody online who's like, debate me. Yeah! Let's me and you debate. No, let's me and you debate.

I'm going to put up money and me and you are going to debate. What the fuck are you talking about? It really is so funny. They're like, we're going to televise it. No, you're not. Yeah, this is first, never going to happen. Scheduled debate. But people think that they can win just because they're like, I said that I would debate him for a billion dollars.

No, they wouldn't. And he didn't do it. He wouldn't take my money to argue. And then you see one of those dudes showed up to the doctor's house. Everyone's like, whoa, let's relax, buddy. A little far, yeah. Yeah, he showed up to his house and was like, why won't you debate Joe Rogan? The guy was just like on Father's Day, just like doing his weeds in front of his house.

He's like, hello? He had like a Texan shirt on. He was just like, why won't you debate? And it was funny because it was one of those moments where he thought he was doing something and everyone was like, dude, that's a little far. Yeah, that's right. Wait, what spawned this? The vaccine.

RFK Jr. RFK Jr. was on Rogan. And then the leading whatever virus doctors were being called to debate against RFK Jr. who is against vaccines. Yes. And everyone's just like, I just have never seen a debate where I'm like, maybe presidential debates, but, like, layman debates that have been, like,

that moved the needle for me at all. No one's going to change their opinion. Or just, yeah, yeah. Totally. It's just not going to be interesting, civil, or, like, stimulating. What happened to RFK Jr.'r's voice he's got some issue he just needs to clear his throat yeah but no it's like i think he had like some like actual like bad thing happened to his throat and it's it's tough because i don't think he can win

prez prez with that yeah kind of like trump calling Ron DeSantis a pedophile. Like, it's over. No way. Because Ron DeSantis this weekend said he would have been one of Jesus' disciples. Really? One of the 12. I would have made it. Trump is just so good at what he does.

He just gives someone a nickname. It's over. I wonder what nickname he would give RFK. Oh, yeah. That one. Ron DeSanctimonious I guess he's been calling him Rob Which is just an all time

Great school Fucking hilarious thing Just call him the wrong name And you know it's on purpose Oh yeah Can't come back from that Okahonus was such a good one Yeah

Okahonus was great And what was the... Fuck. What did he say? He had another great one. Oh, Low T Jeb. That was it. That was a good one.

He couldn't come back from that. It was done. It was done. He's maybe the greatest nickname giver of all time. I wonder... What's Ted Cruz's nickname? What do you think of Ted Cruz? Oh.

Dog wife? I visit dog. all time. I wonder his nickname. What did Ted Cruz. Oh dog wife. Dog. I think he was also calling him isn't Ted. What's Ted's real name. Raphael. Yeah I think he was just calling Raphael with that.

I didn't know that's funny. It's just like he can't be stopped with the nicknames. This is his greatest political power. that's why i'm excited that chris christie's back in the mix because like no jokes hit like fat jokes so if he's just like yeah at titties gross chris christie at the buffet you. I hope he comes with a fresh batch of nicknames this time around. Even Sleepy Joe works. Sleepy Joe's good.

Sleepy Joe Biden. I know we're talking a lot of politics right now, but I laugh every time Joe Biden has to leave a stage and he does the like, this way, that way, which way did I come from? He does it with a little shuffle where he's like... Trying to get someone to point to where he should walk. Isn't there any chance he wins again? He said God saved the queen the other day.

So fucking old. So old. You see that? He said God saved the queen. Really? In the fucking... He's so lost. There's a video of him coming out in Ireland with the music?

No. You've never seen that? Dude, I feel so bad to watch any of them. Oh, TJ, can you pull up the video of him walking out in Ireland? It's like a WWE intro. Oh, I feel so bad. It's sympathetic. We feel bad.

I feel so bad. We feel bad for the president. Yeah, we should just not elect him. He's so old. You think he gets the least in-office pussy of any president ever? He has to. Because you know all of them have been. But I was saying last night that I think Joe Biden is like,

I bet he constantly has a full shit in between his ass cheeks. You know when you have an itchy ass and you wipe and there's like shit? Yeah. That's him 24 hours. He has like the soft toilet seat that always has a shit stain on it. With the bar next to it. There's always a shit stain on it. There's no way he ever has a clean.

Like foam. He also definitely like falls asleep in meetings and shit all the time. Yeah. It's so crazy that in the White House that like back-to-back presidents just have to use the same toilet. Yeah. It's going back like Trump. Out of a cuck move. Yeah, like you have to redesign the whole bathroom or at least put a new toilet.

No. He's like a Conor McGregor walkout. Oh, wait. It's like, where am I? So confused. Oh, man. What a crazy old fuck. Why are people going crazy for him?

Oh. Dude, he is so fucking old. He's so old, dude. He's like the, but like. Dude, there's a video. Is he older than Trump? I think so. He's like 80s.

Trump is old as fuck. Yeah, Trump's old. Trump is embarrassingly old. Yeah. But he's old like where like he's obviously done bad stuff in the past that his mind's making him forget. He's like the old of suppressed memories. He's so old. He's at that age where everyone has had grandparents age.

You could have a full conversation about him in the kitchen right next to him. One of those old. Just chopping carrots. Yeah, we should probably take away his car keys. 77, isn't that? 80s. He's like, he's what he should be for his age. No, he's an old 80.

You think he's worse? He's like one of those olds where his grandparents are in their 80s, and they're like him. You know that old that you hit where your mouth is never closed, and you're always just making that exhale noise? Like a fly flies into your mouth. It's decapitated by the spit.

His molar probably his molars touch like twice a day maybe. I think you're 100% right. I think he's been suppressing memories for so long that his brain just suppresses good memories too. Now he just doesn't know anything. Do you think Jill has to cut all his food for him? Dude, I don't think he can do anything himself.

I don't think he can eat normally. That should be the test. I like that he always has a full turd in his cheeks. The only thing that gets it out is another turd pushing. I don't think he can wipe his ass. There's no way that he's wiping his ass. That should be the test right before you can

take the office. You have to eat like 36 ounce like T-bone on live television in front of America. That will be the final test.

Instead of debates that really could work. Yeah, like let's see you eat a steak, bro. I've never seen him do anything. Is there footage of him eating?

Yeah, I've never seen him eat. I've never seen him like drink a cup of coffee. I think he licks ice cream. He does eat ice cream. He definitely doesn't eat solids, though. He licks like a Snickers ice cream bar. I feel like if you ask me, like, what does Joe Biden eat,

it's just ice cream cones. I've never even seen him with Jill, though. I feel like Jill's on the secret service bus, like the owner from Major League, just like seducing secret service. Is she like a doctor doctor? I think she's a doctor doctor. That's bullshit if you're a doctor and you're like a therapist.

To make everyone say, yeah, look. Yeah, there's two ice creams. It's ice cream. Choco-choco chip. Isn't this during like a massive, like, something bad happened?

There's like a shoot on January 6th. Oh, there's a whole. Dude, I'm telling you, he only eats ice cream. Oh.

Yeah, wasn't he supposed to be addressing something like really serious? January 6th. Yeah. Chocolate chocolate chip. They asked him, what's your response to Republicans about this?

He said, eat some chocolate chocolate chip. That's a man whose brain does not work at all. His brain is ice cream. He knows what a verb is. But it's also like, if you're one of his staffers, imagine the... What is she? Education.

Okay. You can call her doctor right uh imagine being one of his staffers though and just being like scared of everything like all right we're gonna go give an address today like okay so they have the most stress are there yeah are there any are there any bumps on the platform how many steps are there crush up this pill and put it in his ice cream. Yeah, what are the distances on the steps? Are they regular steps? Any big steps? Any landings?

You have to map it all out. He's all rants. He's a guy who, he's like one of the presidents who, it seems like he's not doing drugs. He definitely should be doing drugs. Oh, there's some times where he'll give a speech, and it's like he'll have come out of his haze, and he'll be, like, speaking cogently, and you're like, oh, he's on the fucking cocktail.

I don't know why all the presidents don't get just Adderall prescriptions. They have to. They all do. More than that. Okay, good. They're probably doing something right. Yeah. The Surgeon General. Is that what the Surgeon General does?

Ministers. Just gives them a, like, Bill Romanowski tray of all their pills that they have to take during a week. I know Biden's hiding some under his tongue, though, spitting it out. Crafty bastard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to stop me from saying horse monkey dog face.

I'm going to ride a bike today. Listen, fat. I forgot my cupcake. How am I going to ride a bike today. Listen, fat. I forgot my cupcake. How am I going to take my pills without my cupcake? Frank. Oh, yeah. He said that? He couldn't take his pills without his zebra cakes or whatever.

His dessert cake. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. See Frank met Peyton Manning? Yeah. It must have been a good convo. Eating in the mines. Frank heaved Jenanks under the bus.

Oh, my God. That was in reverse. That was. He pulled that up. Actually, speaking of which, Morgan & Morgan, Janks should go to Morgan & Morgan for what Frank did. Personal injury there, yeah. Yeah, if you've been injured in an accident,

Morgan & Morgan makes it easier for you. File a claim online. Upload pictures, evidence. Text your lawyer. Get a settlement direct deposited, do almost everything from your phone. Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm, over 800 lawyers nationwide, over $15 billion recovered so far, over 100 offices, over 30 years of experience.

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It was Jenks' idea. I'll be releasing an alternate tank cut soon. Dropped it this morning. Can we see it real quick? Give us a little jump through of it. I just need to make sure that logo still slides right off the right side. Poor Jenks. Poor Jenks.

Where's Brandon? That's a Wednesday. Monja, monja, bon appetit. Already better. It's time for Tank's Cooks. Monja, monja, bon appetit. Let's eat. It's time for Tank's Cooks. Bon dimanche. Bon appetit. Let's eat.

It's time for Tank's Cooks. It's time. It's time. It's time once again for Tank's Cooks. All right. Why is Tank's Cooks? Tank's Cooks. We're going to use the traditional grill over here.

And we're going to start. We got half of it fired up so we could cook over indirect heat. That's one mistake I'm going to try to learn from. Racks of ribs, racks of ribs. Hopefully they come out good and not char up like they did last year. Racks of ribs. Racks of ribs. Zoom in. There's a little bit dynamic aspect to it.

I think we need dogs back on the... It just needs to be a static camera. I don't see a membrane. All right. They're doing too much with the zooms. We're going to lightly coat this with this nice oil. This will be light. Oil the ribs.

Look at the mouth of that. Oh my god. It's a guzzler. And we're going to put it in this nice little... Look at this. It's spinning. Is that an aftermarket jug? How did he get a mouth that big? Alright, now we got it. This is a little

out of focus. La la la la la la la we gotta add lots of salt. Hey, la la la la la la I think it's snow. Does it feel like it's snowing? Alright, let's get some pepper. Peppity doo, peppity doo, pep pep pep Does it feel like it's snowing? Alright, let's get some pepper. Texas Roundup BBQ Rub.

Ooh, got intense smoke. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! It's more than rub. It's molestation. Oh, come on. Oh, more.

Rub is on here. It's going to cook well. Smack that in, Frank. Lots of spices. That makes it nice. All right. You might need to cut this part.

I need to get this open. Is this like an announcement? Yeah, do you have a... Paprika! Paprika! Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. I'm going to be adding this at the end, so

we'll cover it with some aluminum furl. So he does a dry wet rub. Yep, dry wet rub. Alright, we got our ribs all rubbed up. It says cover in oil. I cannot believe it that big. Oil tightly. And this is what we're going to do.

We're going to put it on, It says 90 minutes to two hours. We'll check in on these in 90 minutes and see if it actually is cooked. Hopefully, they don't char up. Look at the transition lenses on my boy. Redemption, redemption, redemption while I swim along. That was great. Okay, nice. See how Ebony looks in five minutes.

Alexa, set timer for five minutes. A little smoky. Another five minutes. Set it down for another five minutes. We'll see how it looks in another five minutes. Alright, let's see what we got. What's he looking for? Oh yeah, they look good.

They actually do look really damn good. Time to play the Mio. Time to play the meal. Time to plate the meal. Time to plate the meal. Time to plate the meal. And soap. Redemption!

Yes! All right, that was a good cut. There we go. Great cut. Holy, see? And it was so easy to watch. Manja, manja, bon similar thing when they review food. They'd say observation, and then they'd say it three times afterwards.

They'd be like, ooh, these are hot. Hot, hot, hot. Yeah, he does. Cheesy. Cheesy, cheesy, hot. Cheesy. Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy. They both hit that say it. They try to think of synonyms. It's the top three they can think of.

You could definitely make a sick compilation of them just saying something. Something, something, something. Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy. Spicy. Spicy, something, something. Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy. Spicy. Spicy, spicy, spicy. Cheesy, you want to spin the wheel? We're going to be, this is a problem. We got to get rid of this wet.

Yeah, we need to reset. Also, we need to figure out our heats. We got to figure out the heats. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My son laughed at me when I came home and I told him I peed my pants at work today. Oh, good.

What do you think he thought? Like, what did you do with them jeans? Threw them out. Come on. There it is. Got it. Yes! Finally!

Got it. All right, spin it again. Love it. It's going to land on wet, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, if it was funny I just had to tell Dana Beers that I can't do the Bussing with the Boys Beer Olympics with him next Tuesday I had to tell him too

With my little heart Damn What are they doing? I wonder who he's going to go with Glennie Oh How far down the list were we? Damn. What are they doing? I wonder who he's going to go with. Glennie. Oh. How far down the list were we? How is Glennie not at the top of the list?

Oh, he doesn't try to appear. And he's not allowed in Nashville anymore. Oh, because of wanting to move? Yeah. You got banned from a whole city? I say Carbone on the first one. Oh, wrong! Called it! No, I first one. Oh, wrong. Called it.

No, I didn't. I missed it. Yeah. Oh, shit. Damn. That would have ruled. That would have ruled. That would have ruled at Banya's.

All right, so, yeah, put all the names on there. So, would you spin for three-man pods? Yeah. I think you should spin, and you're the first person in the first pod. I like that. Spin, you're the first person in the second pod. Spin, you're the first person in the third pod. Should we let those three people draft?

Ooh. I like that. Three captains. Captains, and they pick their pod snake-style. Snakey. Do we have some sort of device to get Clemmer out of like a sewer grate if he slips down? Yeah, we need to unwire a hanger or something like that. We should just have like a rope around his waist with some carabiners just in case.

Just in case. Eddie Sewer's deep crevasse on Everest for him. It'll all be deadly. He just gets sucked up into a storm drain. Anthony is the homeowner. Anthony is the homeowner. I guess we'll wait. Let's see if it's any of the three of us that we can draft.

Otherwise, we'll just keep spinning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. KB. No. Yeah. Good time, big cat. Wow. Oh.

All right, so who's KB pick now? No, me. Oh, shit, yeah. No, we're going to spin again for another captain. Yeah, let's get all three captains first. We should just keep off the Anthony. Let's just keep those guys off. It should just be the six of us.

The six of us can be captains. That makes sense. Yes, but they're not. Yeah. Not here. And then we'll just pick. I need a picture of Anthony though before we pick. We all need

to see. Oh yeah. Can you text us a picture? I need weight and height. I need bench press. I need to see him doing a three cone. Okay. Roan also a captain. Okay. The pod system. Okay. With a pod system. Yes.

We're doing snake draft or regular draft? Snake, I think. Well, the snake would probably make it a little fairer, right? Yeah. Sas. Sasquatch. Okay. All right.

And what? You'll get first pick because it landed on you first. That's fair. Okay. All right. And what do you want? You'll get first pick because it landed on you first. That's fair. Okay. You want bad people, right? Correct. I don't want first pick. I'll take third pick.

All right. I'll take first pick. Do I want third pick? Yeah, if you have third pick, you can fill out your pod immediately, right? Oh, yeah, you can. What do you mean? Yeah, I'll have third pick, you can fill out your pod immediately, right? Oh, you got to... Oh, yeah, you can. What do you mean? Yeah, I'll take third pick.

If it snakes back and it's pods of three. Okay. Okay. Sounds like you guys are picking them. Oh, boy. All right, first pick. I have first pick. Oh, we can fuck this guy up.

Yeah. Yeah. I have first pick. Oh, we can fuck this guy up. Yeah. Yeah. I am worried. Oh, we're going to a dork's house. Yeah. No problem. I was thinking he was going to be like a 250-pound New Jersey Italian. We're good.

He does have a penis, though. He does have a penis. According to his Twitter bio. Oh, though. He does have a penis. According to his Twitter bio. Oh, yeah. Two eyes, two ears, chin, mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, butt, two kneecaps, and a penis. Alright, I'll take second pick. Okay, Sash, go ahead, first pick. Uh, Clemmer.

Okay. Roan. Fuck. I need another picture of this homeowner. Do it. Take them. He tweeted photos Do it. Take them. He tweeted photos of himself. Take them.

Nick follows him already. Just did, man. All right, Nick. Be on my team, Nick. All right. All right, Nick. Be on my team, Nick. All right. All right. I'll take Jerry and... Fuck it. I want to take down Che.

I'll take down Che. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. All right. I'll take down... If you want to be the best, you got to beat the best. He's not even the best.

Che sucks. Challenge accepted. He said he's an 8 to 10. Yeah, but... If only there was a number to give that. I'm taking... I'm not even the best. Chase sucks. Challenge accepted. He said he's an 8 to 10. Yeah, but if only there was a number to give that. I'm taking that. I'm not scared of Chase. I'm calling him out.

I love that. Calling him out. All right, I'll take the homeowner as well then. All right, so Sash, you got KB. KB, that's... I was last. Oh, that's good. I know, but it's because I said I was a 9.

I'm not good at it. I have no accuracy. I can't throw a football. Oh, fuck. So is it... Yeah, I can't throw. So we only have two people? Yeah.

And you? It's just me versus KB? You, Clemmer, and KB. You took Clemmer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on the team. Nice, nice. Big Cat, Jerry Che,

Roan, Nick, Homeowner, Sass, Clemmer, KB. I think we're the group of death. And you did that to yourself. I might have made myself're the group of death. And you did that to yourself. I might have made myself in the group of death. And you did that to yourself. But we did wild card, right? There's one wild card.

Yes. One from each group plus one overall. Yep. That's actually good, Jay, because we'll be better than everyone because we'll push each other. Yeah. Iron sharpens iron. Me, Clem, and KB, that's a solid group.

Me, Nick, and the homeowner, none of us might win. We might put up zeros across the board. I don't know what's going to happen. The sneaky best part of this day is – I'll do 1,000 points to the winner. But if I win, then everyone has to give me combined 1,000 points. Is that fair? Fair. Okay.

The sneaky best part about this day is all the catch that's going to be played off camera. That's going to be sick. Yeah, well, they're playing. All the catch. That was the best part of the Invitational, just going to shoot hoops on the court. Are we going to bring a football or what? You should freeze Che out. No one should play catch with Che. He shouldn't be allowed to come. No one played catch with Che. No, that'd be real fun. Are we going to bring a football or what? You should freeze Jay out.

No one should play catch with Jay. No, that'd be fucked up. No one played catch with Jay. Boss's orders. The sneaky best part of this day is going to be the laughs that we're going to have off camera. Just playing catch with the boss. Having a hot dog with the guys. You literally are a dog.

I just can't wait to go to the field. Best part is going to be playing fetch with the guys. One of my favorite parts of 2022 is the Barcelona Invitational, just shooting around on the court. Yeah. It's nice. I hope Big Cat plays fetch with me tomorrow. He's got his little dream board.

People love dogs. They greed. They greed. He's having a beer already. By the way, NASCAR upcoming race, Alley 400, Nashville Super Speedway, June 25th at 7 p.m. Eastern on NBC. Parker McCollum pre-race concert. Guitars and fast cars under the lights of Music City. Will and Taylor from Bustle with the Boys will be honorary race officials

for the race. And the new Barstool Bar inville will open to race fans all weekend so come hang with barstool town 7 to 9 p.m i'm gonna be there friday roans will be there chase will be there saturday 6 to 9 p.m friday uh 7 to 9 p.m 2023 is the 75th anniversary of nascar and i'm gonna have the hiccups someone finish the read uh tommy smokes is also going to be there you are not going to want to miss this it's going to have the hiccups. Someone finish the read. Tommy Smokes is also going to be there. You are not going to want to miss this. It's going to be absolutely sublime. Also, the Chicago Street Race, July 2nd, 5.30 p.m. Eastern.

Oh, that's going to be cool. The street race, whenever they get to the streets, you know that they're having a good time. It's not all cooped up on a track. They really get to free themselves, free their minds. Content Kim's here. She doesn't have any cookies? Huh.

Mocktails? What are you doing in my golf bag? This guy's rummaging. When was the last time you motherfuckers rummaged? And I'm really rummaged. I just saw them rummaging through, like some interns rummaging through the clothing that's getting given away from everybody's desk piles. People are rummaging, but it's not you motherfuckers. I don't rummage anymore.

I don't like rummaging. Rowan, are you staying for that race? The Nashville one on Sunday? I don't think so. 7 Eastern on NBC? I don't think so. A few people are, I think. Yeah, people are going, but I just need to get back to get to the fucking, I'm going

to be missing the Big Apple, so I got to get back out here, but I will be back in time to watch it on TV, NBC, 7 Eastern, or if you're out there, 6 o'clock local time, go to the Barstool Bar, make a meal of it, make a weekend of it. I know I'm going to go go down there Maybe get me some 800 degrees Some Some spicy Nashville fried chicken

Stop at Five Daughters My favorite donut place Down there And watch some NASCAR What's the donut place? Five Daughters It's called Bill brought that for us

It was phenomenal Yeah it was great He brought it for you? Yeah I must have put him onto that I'm gonna have to try it now I must have Oh dude

You'll Appreciate it so much. They have these thousand-layer donuts that are like... Each layer tastes like a tiny bit different, though. Thousand layers? I had a 126-layer biscuit. Five daughters? The other day.

That's a lot of daughters. I know. Look at that shit. Oh, I'm going to go. That's a thousand-layer one. Oh, I'm going. Oh, I'll be there. Look at that.

Damn, that looks so good. It's fucking awesome. It's the elite donut that I've had in my life, and I chase it. Yeah. My ass will be there. You're going to Nashville this week? I'm going tomorrow. Tonight.

Really? Yeah. You don't say. Yeah. For the Barstool Bar opening? No. Just for fun. Vacation. Oh, come on. Tight. For the Barstool Bar opening? No. Just for fun. Vacation.

Oh, come on. Tight end you. Tight end you, bro. Tight end you. I knew that. You did know that because he said it last week. I said it last week and I said, damn. I'll be back Wednesday.

Possibly Wednesday, but I'll be back Wednesday. Never know with Nashville. You never know if you're going to go for a day or a month. I got my son's graduation Wednesday morning. Huge. Oh, shit. High school? Time flies.

Four. Waiting already? He's graduating from being more of a normal thing. Being three to being four. Yeah, that's fun. Huge. It's like a birthday party. I'm going to cry.

Are you going out to Nashville this week, too? We just said that. What the fuck? Hello. Bro, you are down bad. Yeah, I'm going to cry. Are you going out to Nashville this week, too? We just said that. What the fuck? Hello. Oh, you are. You are down bad. Yeah, I'm struggling. One day of drinking.

The brain cells are dying at an alarming rate. I'm down to Nashville, though, bro. I can't. Got spots. I got shit to do. We're at the stand.

Oh, no. Friday. Oh, no. I know how that's going to get down to the stand. Let me come see you. Feel free, brother. Friday Oh no Friday I know how that's gonna get Out of the stand Let me come see you Feel free brother

Where you at upstairs? Upstairs and downstairs In your fucking nightgown? Pretty much yeah My last spot on Friday Is at 1.30am Oh you'll be hammered I'm gonna be dead sober That'll be hammered. I'm going to be dead sober.

That boy is hammered. That boy's a liar. You hear the idol got canceled? No way. Oh, and also he popped his top off, kind of. Oh, really? Like shoulders up. Kind of cheap.

That's got to be one of the least successful HBO shows ever. Ever. I mean, a lot of them get canceled, like Bill Simmons' show. Are they even going to show the rest of it? The mass photos ended now. Most people get canceled, you don't know anything about it. Everyone is just mocking him. What if they have a good turnaround?

Bill Simmons at least had like a month. Barely, though. This show will get the whole season I bet. But they also you could tell I didn't watch yesterday's episode but I saw that it was like 46 minutes.

Like they're like definitely cutting massive parts out being like we cannot get flamed more for this. You're boys with the weekend. How do you meet up

with them? What do you say? He put out like a statement being like this is exactly how I planned it. He was like I wanted everyone to be uncomfortable watching this show. What do you say? Dude, he put out like a statement being like, this is exactly how I planned it. No. He was like, I wanted everyone to be uncomfortable watching this show.

It's like, dude, I don't think... So much show got canceled? Yeah. He's a fucking artist, dude. He's constantly pushing the boundaries. What did he say? What was the exact thing that he said? He said something like that.

I think it was about the clip about him telling a girl to spread her pussy lips. And he was like, this is the disgust that I wanted people to feel. My character is supposed to elicit this emotion. Oh, yeah. He's like, it's supposed to be highlighting the scummy LA. And I was the only one that could play it. Dude, if he didn't play it, I bet that show would have done so much better.

If it wasn't the weekend. Yeah, just anyone else saying for the girl to spread her pussy lips. Did he actually say that? Yes, dude. Did he say that? Episode two. Spread your pussy lips. Yes.

It's like a dirty talking scene. Can we get that sound bite? The least sexual thing ever. Can we get that sound bite? Or spread those tight pussy lips or something. Spread your labia. Fine. Let me get under that labia of yours.

And it, I think, is actively ruining his music for everyone that listens. Dude, spread your pussy lips is like an Anthony Weiner text. Yeah. It's uncomfortable. What are you thinking about right now? I'm thinking about spreading your pussy lips. Who's that, like, hunk actor who the videos came out of him being like, I want you to squirt for me.

Armie Hammer? No. That's some shit that he would say. Just walking around like the subway station just being like, squirt for me. There is really no... Do you feel bad whenever someone gets those...

If you're sexting, if it's ever released, it will look bad. Because there's a bunch of people who are not horny as fuck reading it. Right. You're not in a clear headspace when you're sending that. Right. You're saying shit you would never say. That's borderline worse than a sex tape coming out. Or maybe worse.

Sexting? Oh, yeah. I'd be like, what do you want to do to me right now? There's only one way to fuck. There's a million ways to sext. I'm thinking about spreading your pussy. What would be the best case situation? You got your sex release.

What were you saying? Something funny. You're playing around. I think that's the only way. Even straight stuff. You're going to show me how you squirt. That's brutal. Even if you're straight, like, I want to fuck you so hard.

If you read that, that's... It also is, like, it just reveals how you think about sex in, like, the wording that you use, which is always inherently super embarrassing. Like, your contextualization of what you think hot is. I want you to suck me while I suck you. Yeah. A double sucking. Yeah.

Oh, you know what would be so hot? Me taking you from behind. If that came out, if texts of you came out like that, I would probably be like, dude. No texts like that. I wouldn't be able to look at you in the face. So I'm thinking about staying in New York now. I don't be able to look at you in the face. So I'm thinking about staying in New York now. I don't know if Chicago.

You know what I'd love to do is I'd love to put my penis in your vagina. I would never be able to look at any of you guys in the eyes now. This is worse than a sex tape. We have to be able to find just the sentence of the weekend saying that. Because isn't there like a five second rule? We're allowed to play like three seconds of something? Spread your pussy. Still eat it off the ground

I want to suck your nipples he said tiny little pussy he says it with like an underbite they had to script in two adjectives tiny little pussy he's grinding his teeth he's gotta be mortified two adjectives for pussy. Tiny little pussy.

He's crying. He's got to be mortified. He's got to be trying so hard to find a positive outlook on this. No, he's lying to himself. Yeah. That's what people do in situations like this.

Tell themselves that they are not in the wrong but it's everyone else. I don't blame him. That's how he should be. He shouldn't have put himself in this situation in the first place, though.

He kind of sings like that. A lot of his lyrics are, let me suck your pussy from the back. He gets away with a lot. You tripping cum. He puts in a nice melody. That's how Bad Baby is. Is that his name? What's that guy's name?

Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny. He's very sexual as well. Is it just in Spanish? Yeah, but at least he's not going on camera and saying that shit. Using the word tiny. Tiny little.

Tiny little, yeah. So it's like young and small. Spread your young and spread your little. I like my pussy small. Spread your small petite pussy for me. Oh, your pussy's too big. You got the itty bittiest pussy. Aw.

You got it down there. It's cute as a button. Spread that big, wide pussy for me. I can't wait to watch you grow up. That's why you really have to give so much credit to, like, Drake, who could have been in a role like that, and he's like, you know, this will be corny. He just does it real life.

Yeah, I'm sure he does. I mean, I bet, this will be corny. He just does it real life. Yeah, I'm sure he does. I mean, I bet The Weeknd does too. I bet they're both. But yeah, if it came out that The Weeknd

was doing that real life, that'd be way better. That wouldn't, like, he actually should say this is based on my life. Yeah. He's like,

no, I actually said that. You're right. Like, The Weeknd's such a good singer that people loved him. He sings just like that. Yeah,

people would be cool with it. And there's also some women that probably see that and they're like, that's the hottest thing ever. He probably had the confidence. Yeah, women reinforced that. And now he's like, oh, I can do a show and do the same thing. He had an album called Kissland, right? Kissland. Horrible.

Come on. Star Boy. Oh, should we play Kiss Ball on Thursday? Could. Star Boy's a banger. We're talking about it. Oh, it's the best music. I'm a motherfucking star boy.

Yeah, but that's funny too. Yeah. Imagine if he just said that in script form. I'm a motherfucking starboy. Tell me I'm a starboy. I'm a party monster. Spread your pussy for this starboy. I noticed in the script it said little pussy.

Is there anything we can do to zhuzh that up? The writers aren't strike. I'm going to have to come up with something myself Five daughters is crazy Tiny pussy tiny tiny tiny I need to review pussy I almost lost it it was so small Tiny tiny tiny

Tiny pussy Oh god Small. Tiny, tiny, tiny. Tiny pussy. Oh, God. We've really been chopping it up today. Tree. Jess? What? What type of vape is that, bro?

What the fucking Ninja Turtle is? Yeah, where are you getting that? Ontario. It's the Ontario vape? Yeah. That they got out there. Cali vape. Cali. Should we, uh...

What? Sporkle? I'm down. It's gonna be a bad performance for me today. My brain is fucking... Don't say that, Sass. You know what you know, bro.

I'm disgraced. You've hit an hour and 40. Terrible about myself. You did great. You've been doing great. Like a dumbass. We have an interview in 20 minutes, so let's do it. Yeah, let's rip a couple of sparkles and get out of here.

Who it is. Yeah, who you guys interviewed. Just say who it is, Seth. It's LaMare. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. It's LaMare. We got to...

Oh, fuck. I give away. LaMare requested. Come on. I don't have to say that. You can say it What the hell Under the bus He said he wants to have a fun time

You gotta bring me out As your translator Next time you go to these Hispanic cities You're like Frank the Tank This podcast doesn't go well You're like

Well it was Lemaire's idea To come on We wanted to have Lemaire on But he hit me There you go There you go I wanted to have Brandon on though I wanted to have them

Just go back and forth And name wrestlers For like As long as they could We should just have them on I though. I wanted to have them just go back and forth and name wrestlers for as long as they could. We should just have them on. I could do it. I could do it. But Nick would just wash anybody in that. You can just fast forward to the end.

Me winning. I'm pumped for LeMair. I wish I was in better spirits. Let's get some sparkle wins. Let's get some spirits. Let's go. I'm ashamed of myself. All's get some smirkle wins. Let's get some spirits. Let's go. I'm ashamed of myself. All right, pull it up, Zaha.

To reset my sober trackers. All right, so people were saying that for the podcast listeners, before you answer, just say what you're answering. Ah. Color of Blood. Okay, so one Color of Blood, two Current Hosts of Jeopardy, three best-selling candy bars of all time, four female leads from Ghostbusters 2016,

five Will Smith movies with aliens, six countries that border India, seven NBA players with over 10,000 career assists, eight presidents who died in office, nine current shows in the Real Housewives franchise, and ten best-selling video games. I'll let you redo that ooh you did one time. Ooh.

Better. All right, go ahead. I'm going to go ten best-selling video games. I'm going to go Minecraft. Good answer, good answer. I think it's actually maybe the best-selling video game ever. One up there. I'll go One Color of Blood Red.

Rightfully so. I'm actually going to go home and play Minecraft. Yeah, Minecraft fucking is awesome. Want to be on a server together? Yes, I actually would do that. Okay. Yeah. Video game, Grand Theft Auto.

Yep. Might have to switch one, though. Let's see. Not Thief. Oh, no. Give one. Give one. Five.

V. Yes. Oh, no. Oh, there you go. Number two. Eight Presidents Who Died in Office, John F. Kennedy, Jr. He was in Convertible. Oh.

Junior? He was in Convertible. Is he Jr.? He is in Jr. Let's do five Will Smith movies with aliens. Men in Black. Yep. Good poll, Nicky. I'm thinking four more. I think some are very similar to that.

Fortnite. That game is free. Oh, sassy. You out early. Fortnite is 100% free. My boy's out early. It's not best selling, right? My boy's out early.

That does not make sense at all. Wow. So zero dollars worth of copies. How about Independence Day? This dude's going right to Google. I am. Okay, KB. I Am Legend.

Movies with aliens? I don't think so. No. Zombies. Oh, see ya. Zombies. Let's go Abraham Lincoln died in office.

Oh, you're going to smack yourself. What do you mean I'm going to smack myself? Men in Black 2. Oh. How about Men in Black 3? No, there weren't any in that one. Oh, it's just me and Nick? Oh! Got it.

How about Housewives Franchise's New Jersey? I will go Housewives Franchise New York. City. I'm back in. No, you're not. Yeah, yeah. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

No, you're not. I am. I'm just going to play. Okay. I'm back in too. Yeah, we're back in. You both get one strike. I'm just going to play. Okay. I'm back in, too. Yeah, we're back in. You both get one strike. Can't just sit here and watch.

It's literally what me and Sass do every time. I'm back. Okay. Who's up? You. Oh, boy. I'm going to go. No, you're not allowed to do video games.

You were looking at it. I'm going to go Fortnite. Fortnite. You managed to be back in. Why did you want to be back in? You don't have anything. Five. I'm going to go Hershey's Bar. S-H-E-Y.

Whoa. I knocked my socks off. S-H-E-R-S-H-E-Y. That was a creative-ass spelling of Hershey's. It might not be one of the best-selling. I don't think it is. What was the category? I don't think that's how you spell it.

Yes. You're wrong. Fuck me. All right. How? How is it not one of the best-selling candy bars? For free. Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Fuck you. I'm back. Oh, shit, he's back. I forfeit. Okay. What? No, no, no. Get back in. Get backfeit. Okay. What? No, no, no. I'm out on my own accord.

Get back in. Get back in. You guys want me back in? Are you? Pac-Man. Does anyone want me back? What the fuck? No way.

You guys are both out. Pac-Man costs 25 cents. Pac-Man is legendary. FDR. I was so confident in that. I think like 30 people have Pac-Man in their house. This is all time. I thought everyone in the confident in that. I think like 30 people have Pac-Man in their house. This is all time. I thought everyone in the world bought that.

Four female leads from Ghostbusters. Do you know anyone who owns Pac-Man? Kristen Wiig. It's K-R-I-S-T-E-N. W-I-I-G or W-H? You got it. Housewife franchise Dubai. Ooh.

No. Sorry, bro. Yes, it is. 100% it is. It says current. Is it still current? Sorry, Ron. Nope.

Sorry, Ron. 100% it is. Sorry, Ron. Are you sure they're in Dubai? Nick. Yes, it's 100. There's no way that it's not Nick

what's wrong Pac-Man has to be top 10 it's even close I will go with John Stockton oh Pac-Man is Nick okay oh boy Stockton. Oh, Pac-Man is... Nick.

Okay. Oh, boy. 16. I will go with... The Consolation Prize, I'll take it. Yeah. Melissa McCarthy is a female lead for Ghostbusters. All right, I'm back in.

One's back in. Chris Paul. Best-selling video games of all time. Oh, man. I will go with Skyrim. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. Oh, for the win. Sorry.

Jason Kidd. I don't think I've ever won one. There you go. No video games? All right, hosts of Jeopardy, Mayim Bialik, and then Ken Jennings. Best-selling candy bars. What do we think? Snickers, Reese's, and...

That's a cup, not a bar. Butterfinger. Kit Kat. Oh, Kit Kat might be it. The third best-selling video game is Tetris. Oh. Madden? Is Madden on there?

I don't believe so because it comes out annually. Tetris, Overwatch, PUBG. PUBG. Show us the answers. We'll do one more. PUBG. This sucks so bad. Mario Kart.

Are you kidding me? Skyrim was on everything. Toblerone. Red Dead Redemption? Skyrim was on everything. Toblerone. Red Dead Redemption 2 is top 10. Yep. Ultimate Girls Trip Pro. It's crazy. After Earth.

I don't know what that is. Okay, one more. I don't understand how Real Housewives of Dubai is not on this fucking list. It's crazy. Did it get canceled? All right. Joey Chestnut hot dog record number. Two names of Property Brothers, three Korean car brands,

four teams in the AFC West, five most streamed to artists on Spotify 2022, six teams to Kevin Mutombo played for, seven single-horned animals, eight highest populated island countries, nine members to go on Quest and Lord of the Rings, ten highest grossing film. I am fucked. Ten highest what? Grossing film franchise. populated island countries, nine members to go on Quest and Lord of the Rings, ten highest grossing film. I am fucked. Ten highest what?

Grossing film franchise. Fast and Furious. What would it be? Fast? The Fast? Star Wars. Ed Sheeran. For what category? You got to be fucking kidding me.

Streamed artist. Damn. There's no fucking way. Pass this out. There's no way. The Raiders. Ed Sheeran's not top five? Dude's going to Google.

The most viewed artist on Spotify. Highest grossing gotta be Avengers. He has 82 million monthly listeners. At the tippy. Let's go with the Chiefs for four teams in the NFC West. I will go with the Chargers. Damn it. Why are you taking these?

You know all the Lord of the Rings. So does Roan. I don't. I don't. I don't. He's throwing me off his trail. Okay, Roan. The Atlanta Hawks. For the Dikembe Mutombo teams.

Highest populated island nations, Indonesia. Tippy. Tippy. Broncos. Four teams in the NFC West. Now I'm fucked. Highest populated island countries. I'll go Japan.

Japan. Kevin Mutombo teams the Sixers. Nice. Oh! I was going to say it was 74. Joey Chestnut, 76. Oh, wow. Tricky.

Okay. EB? How are you feeling? Streamed Art is 2022. Dua Lipa, tippy. Nope. Oh, no. I'll go with the Denver Nuggets

for teams Dikembe Mutombo played for. Highest populated island countries. I mean, eight. Is Australia on there? Cool. Lucky guess. Yeah. I'm fucked.

Lucky fuck. Highest gross. Ice-coating film franchise is Indiana Jones. Oh! Those movies in the 80s are tough. Sorry, James Bond. Bye. Give me Legolas. God damn it. I'm fucked.

I'm so fucked. L-A-S. L-A-S. Legalese. Bye, Nikki. Bye. You guys got to be able to name one top. You just looked these up, Savage.

Taylor Swift. Exactly. You missed it. Ed, Sass. Taylor Swift. Exactly. You missed it. Ed Sheeran. The fact that Ed Sheeran's not number one is crazy. Imli, G-I-M-L-I. I'm in a world of hurt here.

L-I. Hyundai? No, it's that. No, it's D-A-I. H-Y-U-N-'s the A-I. H-Y-U-N-D-A-I? Yes! Frodo. Let's try Sass.

Did Dikembe play for the... Orlando Magic? Or am I thinking of Patrick Ewing at the end fuck is that a guess show me Orlando Magic oh win

Sam okay show us I was thinking Knicks too. Fuck. Transformers? Transformers is fucking awesome. DC, Jurassic Park, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, Transformers, Wizarding World. What the fuck?

Hey, Potter. Bad Bunny, Drake. Bad Bunny. The single horned animals is tough. Oh, there's a nice win for the weekend. Yeah, let's see how 2023 pans out for him, though. That's true. That's true.

He's got to release an apology. Like a no tap apology for that show. All right. See you everyone tomorrow. I'm going to be out. I'll be back Wednesday. I'll be in. All right.

Hey, folks, keep on making these sporkles. We love you. We love you. We love you. It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act

It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act Have a great Monday, everybody. See you tomorrow.