The Yak - The Guys Come Up With Some Monday Motivation | The Yak 10-3-22

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Frick, manYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello! Hello, everyone. Hello. My headphones are really loud. Yeah. Mine are too.

Turn down my left ear. That's my left ear. What if we just whisper for this episode? Sass. The guy takes off his shirt. Who is that? Happy National Baby Daddy Day. Thank you.

Thank you. Mr. Cum. Mr. Sticky Cum. Mr. Wide Load. Shit. Feeling to the brim. He's brimming. Hello, everyone. Good to see you, brothers and sisters.

Good afternoon, everybody. Good to see you all. Good to see my brothers and sisters. Treasure all of your presence. We start today with a prayer. Pass, take the wheel. Go ahead. I don't know any prayers.

It's a lie. I know that it's a lie. I know hundreds. He can't pick a prayer. He knows so many good ones. Doc, can you turn down the headphones? Jason. Hey, Kate, did you get a new haircut No I just brushed it

Whoa Everyone's complimenting me And I'm like No I just washed it And brushed it today Damn Rare Compliment

That's huge KB on the other hand That's some sex hair dude Yeah That's Hustled Uh huh Something about Mary hair.

That's better. I would have come in that hair. A lot. Did you have sex? When? This weekend. Addicted to sex? No.

Sex problem? Sex. Trust me, he's not addicted. Sex problem? How about Riley? Did Riley Collins have sex this weekend? Did anyone get his stat sheet? Actually, I was picking up my homie at Penn Station,

and I saw Riley Collins alone coming back from the football game. He went to the game alone. Whoa. There alone. Very drunk alone. Whoa. That's no way to go through life. Yeah, he's a Bears guy.

I was like, where's your friends? He was like, ha, ha. He just kept walking. Yeah. Solo going. He had to have sat with people He's homeless I guess He's homeless That's brutal

That's a big problem in America Well it's like the anti-homeless architecture That you see everywhere There's like no seats available for guys That are homeless Right if I want to sit on a bench and talk to a fella It's always like spikes There's nowhere else for another fella to sit

Oh look at that Yeah you could tell he brought a tripod I want to sit on a bench and talk to a fella. It's always like spikes. There's nowhere else for another fella to sit. It's brutal. Oh, look at that. Yeah, you could tell he brought a tripod. Look how steady that photo is. Wow, yeah. And he just walked up to a random tailgate after they were done. Yeah, you would see the shadow of the person taking the picture.

Actually, yeah, look at that photo. Yeah, of course he's not with any homies. Nobody stopped him from light jeans and white shoes. Oh, that's tough. No, that works. Endless dude. Dave does that all the time. I just wanted Dave's signatures. Dave's got hella friends.

He does. I respect that move. I think that that's die hard. Your team's in town. Nobody wants to go. That game sucks. Good for him. It's raining.

Good for him. He probably wanted to go with people. Nobody would. Also, your football opinion can't be trusted. Your team stinks. You're not allowed to talk about football. Your team does suck ass. They suck ass.

They're so bad. Road to says. Two for two in weeks that Stephen Che, I've realized it. Stephen Che just knows so many names that he'll just say names of Bucs players and be like, this guy's back, this guy's back. The guy who fucking fumbled the first kick, Stephen was like, he looked great in training camp. You should bet on him to score a touchdown.

Boom, fumbles the opening kickoff. Game over. You are banned from giving me any football takes because your team stinks and they cost me money every week. Dang. Why don't you not bet with them then? Because he tells me all these guys are back. He's bad at betting. Have you ever been around someone who just says names?

He says names and I'm like, well, he knows. In fairness, I answered a call. You called me and asked what was your question? I said, who's playing? You just listed like 17 guys. And we had four guys coming back last night. None of them mattered. They all suck.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, they all suck. Did you win or lose? I mean. The door's blown off you. They said that my homes looked like a dad playing with the kids. Yeah. They did say that.

They said that shit. That must have hurt. Best defense my ass. Did it hurt? Yeah, I mean, it was not enjoyable three plus hours. It's terrible. I've seen a lot worse, but yeah, it was bad. We couldn't stop them on third down.

It was miserable. At least you didn't have to wear the mask that much because they were down so goddamn much. I would have loved to have been wearing the mask. Your team sucks. They couldn't do shit. We sucked last night, yeah. No, no, no. Your team sucks.

No, your team sucks. We're both two-2, buddy. Okay. Ha-ha! Wow. How do you like them apples? We're through the meat of our schedule. 2-2.

Okay. 2-2. I said we'll be okay for 2-2 coming out of the first four. That's a loser's mentality. I would only be happy with 4-0. Yeah. Hell yeah. Eagles, baby.

Let's go, Tass. Herds. Tass, are you more Patriots or Eagles? I mean, I watched the Patriots game yesterday. But? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm going to pick a side. I like it. That was firm. It was a moral quandary. Just say Eagles this year. Well, I mean, the Eagles are way better, obviously. You're opening for Shane. Say Eagles. Yeah, I mean, the Eagles are way better, obviously. You're opening for Shane. Say Eagles.

Yeah, I guess Eagles. There we go. But you're opening for him in Buffalo, so you might have to say Bills. Oh, shit. Oh, no. I already got my bets placed for the Buffaloes. For the Bills game. For the Buffaloes?

Bills game. You guys fans of the Buffaloes? Make some noise if you like the Buffaloes. Shout out Buffaloes. That clip's already on the list. I heard Stephon Diggs is going to be there. Let's get that one out there. Stephon Diggs.

His ass tries to talk football. He went wrong. He's gone wrong. Yeah. Get that out on Viva La Stool ASAP. Yeah, Chuck, get this out. Oh, fuck's ass. Jay's already clipping.

Yeah. Jay, your team stinks. Your team sucks ass. You don't get to smile. That's not mook. I'm joking. I thought it was for a split second. How many redheads?

Yeah, they're taking over. Yeah, we're getting more and more. Somebody call me a redhead in New Orleans. I don't think I am. You have notes of red. You have hints. I have notes of red. Of course.

Maybe some undertones. Right. Maybe beard-wise. I think it's just like a strawberry brunette. He wants to see your pubes. Take off your hat. Let beard-wise. Auburn. Strawberry burnet. He wants to see your pubes. Take off your hat. Let's see that. No, that's not red. You look like Jesus today.

You gotta hit him in the right light. Put a little red filter on that. You look like biblical Jesus right now. Yeah, that's right. Historically accurate Jesus. Look at that. Is there a Jesus with glasses that I can look up to, EJ? There definitely is.

It is funny that we just made Jesus a white dude. He just wasn't. I know. He didn't make him one. God did. Yeah, that's true. Mary is very just Arab and just has a white kid. Never seen one before.

What the fuck? They're deciding between Chad and Jesus. He must be a god. Can we get some yak shirts that are just glasses of Jesus? Oh, I like the flannel. Those shady rays? Those might be shady rays. Those are shady rays, baby.

They made him hot, too. I mean, he's hot. Yeah, he probably was ugly as fuck. They gave him a Keemstar beard. Yeah. He got shaped up. What the fuck? Yeah, there's no ugly as fuck. They gave him a Keemstar beard. Yeah. Yeah. He got shaped up. What the fuck? Yeah, there's no way.

God damn. Jesus always had that nice shape up. We find Jesus with a skin fade. Every Tuesday, he went to the shop with the boys. Chopped it up. If Jesus had some white wrap around Oakley's, he'd be Keemstar. That's Jesus. Jesus with waves.

If Jesus had white wraps around Oakley's, he'd be... Dog the Bounty Hunter? No, what's... Imagine Jesus in some rowback. Oh, yeah. He'd be comfortable. He wouldn't fuck with a rowback. It's a rapper's name.

We need a back. Where's the... No. This now sucks. He wears neon colors. Riff Raff. Riff Raff. Riff's name. We need to back. Where's the... No. This now sucks. He wears neon colors. Riff Raff. Riff Raff. Riff Raff.

Yeah, Jesus as Riff Raff. Maybe Riff Raff is Jesus. He has a little Jesus to him. And he definitely loves the sinners. The hoes. The lepers. Yeah, I mean, being hot makes you easier to worship. Oh, for sure, for sure.

Yeah, the crucifix depiction also has him as like a fucking toned ab monster. Yeah, he was doing P90X at his house. I will say, I think the cum gutters. Being crucified is like the ultimate ab flex. All of you. Yeah, I know. It's hard to look fat when you're looking.

You're thinning. That's true. So I should start getting crucified? Yeah. I think that should be the next thing. Or at least now So I should start getting crucified? Yeah. I think that should be the next thing. Or at least now.

We should just be on crosses and we just get up on them. The yak calendar, if they do one. It's just all you guys getting. I remember I used to

be like, I'm not fat when I'm laying down and then I realized that doesn't count. It does count though because you spend damn near as much time laying down.

True. Shit load of time laying down. Sass lostload of time laying down. Sass lost 15 pounds this weekend. What? I don't know why you keep on saying that. I didn't. What was it, 16?

Zero. You look skinny as fuck. I've been cutting back on the beers. Really? Yeah. Have you weighed yourself? No. So you don't know that you didn't lose 15 pounds?

I don't. I might have. You have refined your look to really have that New York comedian look. Yeah, he does look like that. It really crushes now. I'm trying to throw some fits this fall. Are you? Oh, yeah.

You look like a guy who would get paparazzi in Central Park with a little tiny dog. A little tiny dick. A little tiny dick, a little tiny dog. I would never rock a tiny dog. Just comedian, little sass. I'm not a tiny dog. He's dick. Little tiny dick, little tiny dog. I would never rock a tiny dog. Just comedian, little sass. I'm not a tiny dog. He's a big dog boy. Big dogs. He wants a great Dane that'll take up shit bigger than him.

No, I like Bernice Mountain dogs. Newfies. Let me get you an Akita. I'll buy you one right now. Okay. What is it? I don't know what it is. I thought it was kind of dangerous. Aren't they like one of the nastiest dogs? Akita? one right now. Okay. Okay. What is it? I don't know what it is. I don't know what that is either.

Aren't they like one of the nastiest dogs? Yeah. Nikita? My boy Dico has one. Dico? Not Nico? Nah, Dico's got a Nikita. Sash, when you start

throwing your fits, where are you going to start your outfit from? Your pants? Your shoes? Your shirt? Where are you dressing out? I don't really know, man.

I think you go middle out. John Mayer used to go pants out. Really? Build Where are you dressing out? I don't really know, man. I think you go middle out. John Mayer used to go pants out. He used to really build it with the pants out. I only have two pairs of, like, pants, so. Yeah. I have a pair of sweatpants as well, but you can't really be throwing fits in sweatpants. Oh, yeah, you can.

Is this a New York comedian? I guess it's the way to go. No, no, no, no. I was never brave enough to do the sweatpants with the white sock tuck. I thought it looked awesome, but I could never really piece it together. I started dabbling in that, but I just look like a mom. I have a hippie pack on with a diaper bag,

and my socks are tucked into my tights, but it's not cool. That is not cool. KB, where should he dress out from? Pants out or shoes out? What does that mean What piece of clothing should he start with If he's laying an outfit Very important question

Thought daughter or gay son Yeah It's a quandary What do you do for a living how much Gay son obviously Do you ever start with your hat Yeah I guess. Actually, no.

No, I go pants out. Always go pants out. I think the key is to start with shoes. Like, grow your shoe collection to have cool shoes, and then go from there. Because any outfit can be cool if your shoes are cool enough, right? I tried to get a new shoe. I think your pants are the new shoes. Oh.

Yeah. Collecting shoes is very highly overrated. I tried it for a little bit, and now I just have a bunch of shoes I don't wear. Because getting them is better than having them. Right. And you wear them, and everyone's like, oh, nice shoes. And then you're just like, well, the comfortable ones are the ones, like, I'm wearing right now that I wear every day.

It's like, why would I? Yeah. Overrated. Well, also, people, certain people would shame people For having like general release shoes Yeah That's true I'm talking about failing upwards Who made me feel very insecure

About my wardrobe I know Yeah They just dress cool And I just don't even know What the brands are talking about Where do you even find brands? That's a good question

Yeah Where do you learn about brands?'s a good question yeah where do you learn about brands i think us normies you gotta learn about them and by the time you learn about it it's too late way too late we're like runway shows what do you wear to one of those do you wear the clothes of the of the behind the scenes process to get cool is the lamest thing in the world so i think like if you were like master a dance move like the like what it took in your room in your bedroom to like go through the tutorials learning all the lyrics to a rap song you had to practice or just even like writing a cool rap song

or something like that you're like what rhymes with fucking encyclopedias like this shit is not cool or learning about fashion it's like you're like Googling fashion brands or some shit. Spend time on message boards. Or be like, what is this? You got to hit the forums. It's all about the forums. Everything starts in the forums. I think it's also if you just have one really cool friend that just puts you on to shit.

But how does he get to that? You think some of it's innate. Yeah, I think there's definitely cool people who are just cooler than everyone else. But how do they get the cool clothes? How do they know where to go? I think it's just a hot guy. Bro, look at this Balenciaga, right?

I would wear it. I'd look good in this. I'd look good in that. Also, all their models look like they got punched in the face a bunch of times. Is this a runway show right now? Yes, it's Balenciaga.

Where is it? A coal mine? The theme was like walking through. Balenciaga. Where is it? A coal mine? The theme was walking through. Balenciaga's very stupid. I mean, this is very funny just because Zoolander was so prescient and ahead of its time. Right. They just basically predicted all of it. They're leaked.

Look at this. Why can't the models smile? He just did smile. By the end of this show, the models were hunched over like candy canes trying to get through the mud and it was the most awkward, weird thing. You guys see Bella Hadid got a dress sprayed on her? Yes, that was kind of cool. That was cool.

And then it formed to her? Yeah. Oh, I thought PETA sprayed her. No, she voluntarily. She just was standing there with some paint splotched on her and some underwear on. And they just made a dress on top of her. That's like, remember the swimsuit edition

when they did the sprayed on swimsuits? Oh, hell yeah. That was game changer. Oh, wow. And the dress actually like fluffs out like a real dress

at the end. What if you eat like too many chips? No, what if you rip a fucking fart? It's a bubble. Old dresses used to work.

Or did you guys see that one fashion show where like someone would walk out of the audience and like behind a door and then that same person and it was just their twin

dressed in different clothes would come out with sweet ass clothes on? It's pretty cool. That was cool. I think they do cool stuff in fashion shows. Just spoil the prestige.

No, you should spoil the prestige. Remember that fashion show where the dudes were just walking with their dicks out? What? I remember that. We can't show it. Can we show it with blurred? DJ, can you blur some dicks?

Yeah, I'll start looking. Can you painstakingly blur out their penises? That Antonio Brown blur, was that his dick? Yeah, was that the size of the you guys see the video like the full video so fucking weird it just goes behind the door and then bam she's someone else whoa and then people just would pop down out of the the audience does that match? You know a lot about Fashion Week. Look at this guy.

Oh, there's his winking. Oh, TJ, I don't know if you can blur it. Yeah, I can't. Let me see it then. If he can't blur it, I at least want to see some cock. Let me send it to TJ, see if he can do something. That's like a morning coffee. I'm ready to roll now.

Yeah, it's the adrenaline rush. It kills a hangover. In any world. I feel revitalite. now. It's the adrenaline rush. It kills a hangover. In any world. Do a Advil Revitalite, look at a cock. What the fuck? What the hell? Pretty funny, right? Is that how I should have reacted?

Cat, show me again. No! Ah, get away from me! What would your price be to walk in a show like that? To show my dick? Yeah. Look at his dick. Oh, man.

Ten grand? That's a lot of people gawking it's just fashion baby you can't you can't be repulsed by fashion that's a stylish dick yeah it is funny that you could just be like naked in a fashion show and it's fashion well i mean what like isn't isn't your dick in balls like the greatest accessory oh my god you. It's like hanging off your body. I don't leave the house without it. Oh my God, I forgot my dick. I left it in the Uber.

He's got a dick. See if you can do the Find Me app for your dick. Yeah, people are adding tags to their dicks. How are they styling my pubes for this one? Getting a blowout. Art, too. Art is another one where you could just be ass naked. Yeah.

And it's just like, oh, it's art. You ever put in beaches? I took a figure drawing class in college, and the models made 50 an hour standing naked. Oh. How long were they standing? It was a three-hour block class. Now, do they get hard?

I'd get hard. The one guy that I had who was a regular micro penis. Oh. And so like my first time having him drawing him and you get to the conundrum of do I make it bigger in the drawing? Because he comes around and looks at breaks. Do I make it bigger for him?

So I made it a little bit more normal. He came and looked and I was just like obviously he knows. It was just a weird spot to be in. He was and looked, and I was just like, how is he going to, like, obviously he knows. It was just a weird spot to be in. Yeah. He was just in his robe behind me. That's awkward.

Also, that's not nearly enough money. No. No, that's, he made $150 to show his micro penis to the lecture hall of Coed's. He must have been so poor. If he has a micro penis, and he's like, I need money, I might as well. No, dude, I think that he was using it as a dating thing, and he wanted to kind of lance the boil to kind of get out ahead of having a micro penis.

So he is introduced as micro penis guy, and then they fall in love afterwards, and they're like, oh, yeah, I knew he had a micro. Rips the Band-Aid off early. Rips the Band-Aid off early. That's a good way to put it. So it's not a big deal. Exactly.

I would always ask the best in the class to keep the the drawing as well so like a naked drawing of yourself that's odd thing to have very odd so how many times did you keep yours never damn it was too big do you ever have chicks we had a chick once what was that i went home sick. I felt faint. Oh, man. Was the naked guy pretty chiseled? Not at all. Oh, really? He was sloppy with the micro?

He's a portly boy. Damn, portly with the micro? That's hilarious. Tough combo. Was he Russian at least? Was he hurrying us? No. I feel like Russians are like lead the world and

big belly micro penis. Yeah. He might have been. Yeah. They just rock it. But he wasn't the teacher but he would just come around and look? Yeah. If I was drawing you for three hours, wouldn't you want to see it? I'd be curious.

I'd want to know. Yeah, he wanted, yeah. If I was drawing you for three hours, wouldn't you want to see it? I'd be curious. I'd want to know. Yeah, $50 is not nearly enough for that. To just stand completely an hour, you're just like, that's a lot. And at the time, to me, that was like a lot. Yeah. Was he just, so he just has to stand completely still? Yeah. For three hours?

He'll usually have something like a walking stick so he could like lean, so it's like a pretty comfortable position, but then he's locked in. That sucks. Micro penis. That's the worst part about it, think standing yeah not the nudity no i agree no would you rather stand four hours clothed or like 15 minutes naked in front of people 15 minutes naked probably yeah you would says no did you see that stand-up show here in the city i don't know if they do it anymore but before covet there was an all-naked stand-up show where the comics would get on stage completely naked whoa it was like skank fest really yeah and like they do it they get up there full nude and just do their regular old sets just completely naked with all the lights i would i would like carrot

top it i would like get props out yeah props your dick. I remember going to like national youth wrestling tournaments and it was just we were we would all weigh in naked. Really? It was just an entire auxiliary gym of naked boys. Would you put your hands

because everyone it was an elite it was elite youth wrestling so everyone was like cutting weight to make like 75 pounds and you weighed in naked. There was probably someone there

that loved it. Oh for sure. There was probably someone there that loved it. Oh, for sure. All the staffers were just watching. No, some of them probably didn't like it, but there was probably at least one of them that absolutely loved it.

Wait, how old were you? This was like all ages of youth. Jesus. I feel like as a parent now I'd be like, nah, you know what?

I feel like we're taking it a little seriously. Pittsburgh tournaments would you hide your genitalia I would but like not it was just a bunch of naked kids and then like you had the guy checking the weights and he would just see boy penis and it was

it was normal that guy loved boy penis that was a volunteer I said this before then the Aliquippa guys they would like hold the baby or not the baby, like the six-year-old, naked six-year-old, and shake him from his ankles. Why? I thought that was a tactic to lose weight.

What the hell? Yeah. Was it? I don't even know if they have progressed either. You think they're still holding? I think that's still the norm in the wrestling community. Holding naked six-year-olds upside down? Why don't they just weigh,

like, how much the singlet weighs, have everybody wear the same singlet, and then just subtract the weight of the singlet? Then how would you see the boy dick? Yeah. That's crazy. We should liberate those kids. Yeah, that's... He We should liberate those kids.

He's getting a mouthful from the tank right now. He just came up and said, last place. Don't make eye contact. Why to Ebony, though? She's a massive Mets fan on the low. Huge. Frank, I got to admit, Frank last night just tweeting at Columbia and like, how was the dragons?

How were the dragons? Just owning them. Yeah. It was like, and he quote treated Kevin, he's like, these guys don't even watch the game. All they care about is dragons. Right. He was on one. It was so fucking funny.

It's hilarious. They're laughing so hard, and I love, too. People- People were responding like, Blooper was riding the dragon. It was hilarious. They were laughing so hard, and I love, too. People were responding like Blooper was riding the dragon. Yeah, yeah. Damon Targaryen was doing the chop. Yeah. The mentions of Frank's Twitter is so fucking funny, just constantly being like, hey, Frank, I'm in Atlanta.

I just saw Jacob deGrom looking at houses, and he just loses it. Why was the Nate dog coming at the table? What was up with that? Wait, what happened? See that? The Nate dog took a direct shot. No. He called Frank lazy.

I saw on Dave's show, if there's one thing Frank isn't, it's lazy. He puts up numbers as far as output of blogs. He's top ten, right? Yeah. The opposite of lazy. Wait, he called him lazy? He said, he's top 10, right? Yeah. The opposite of lazy. Wait, you call them lazy? Why don't we... Yeah.

Promote people. Oh. And Frank, they just get a big promotion. Well, and Nate is always snide. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, TJ.

Busted. Busted. Busted! I tweeted when I did that. You have him muted! He talks shit about Rutgers for no reason. He doesn't even watch the games or care. Oh no! I haven't muted for a couple weeks.

I have both of them muted. Really? And the Barstool page and Frank muted. There's very few people from here that I don't have muted. You guys are all unmuted. You'd be shocked by my muted list. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't even expect.

Yeah. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. One bad. All it takes is one tweet for me to be like, nope. See ya. Goodbye. Don't get me wrong.

I'll praise you to your face. Oh, yeah. I just realized I've never seen Chief's tweets because i muted chief like five years ago when everyone was like because people would reply to you like this chief chief i can't be seeing this yeah yeah so apologies to him i'm sure you've been having some you know some good posts yes i'm just gonna put someone in the penalty box and then you take them out like a month later there should be a timeout function yeah yeah where you're not blocked you're just

taking a break I'm like a reply guy here I like everyone's I just see a name I recognize I'm like like like like like I equally as well it's annoying and weird probably that's not replying though is it no but it's like I'm all about everyone's business all the time.

I like people's GoFundMes. I'll never retweet because it just messes up my timeline, but I like GoFundMes. When you guys do give to GoFundMe, do you do it with your you type in your name or do you do it anonymous? Oh, my name. For sure, my name.

Stop making anonymous an option because then it's like a moral thing. Get more donations if anonymous wasn't an option. Yeah. You don't want to be the guy who puts their name if there's an anonymous option. Because you see other people doing anonymous. No, you got to get your...

That's the only reason people give to those things is to be seen. I think there's times when I didn't give because I was solely giving just for them to know I gave. Yeah. And then I saw the anonymous thing, then I didn't give at all. Yeah, right. Anonymous is always the leader, too. Yeah.

That's how they do the ranking. Oh, yeah. They're always top dog. Smug. And then it makes you wonder. It's almost more smug to do it anonymously. Mm-hmm. It's much more smug.

Like, who is that anonymous? Because it's self-satisfactory, which is the same thing. Yeah, you're just stroking yourself off. Self-satisfaction. It's like when someone from Harvard, you ask them where they go to college, and they're like, ah, some school in Massachusetts. They, like, lower their voice so people don't overhear them. Harvard.

Say Harvard. I got to say, though, for Francis, like, if I were in Francis' shoes, I would do exactly what he does. I would tell everyone I went to Harvard. Yeah, but I think I'm just going to start doing that. Yeah, you might as well. I used to say Pepperdine. Ooh, that's a good one.

The waves. Beautiful campus. Malibu. I know. You know. I mean, you know. 360 view of the Pacific. Yeah.

What was your favorite bar there? My favorite bar? What is it? It's called the library. It was a cool thing we did at the Pacific. What was your favorite bar there? My favorite bar? It's called the library. It was a cool thing we did at the library. It was the only college that had it. Pepperdine. Pepperdine.

There it is. Ah, yeah. Underneath the Bucks flag is just his dick and balls. Does he have a nut between his legs? It looks like it. Oh, yeah. I didn't even notice that. What is that? Yeah, I guess you really look at the rest of the picture now.

I like the idea of, I think we've talked about this, censoring a dick with just a bleep and censoring the N-word with a black bar over their mouth. Yeah, you can still hear it. We did that for a re-discovering. I flashed my dick and it just beeped. But you can still just see my dick. But we did not put that out.

Reverse censoring. For the blind audience. The subtitle. By the way, Nick, you weren't here yesterday, but we did do a Kobe joke. We bleeped it. You've been wanting to for so long. We really did. For boomers.

What was it? We bleeped it. Oh. I was going to. Jacoby Brissett. Jacoby Brian Brissett bleeped into the end zone. Yeah, that's good. He got, like, twisted around. You've been wanting to.

The end zone. Oh, yeah, yeah. Since, like, I've started helping with those, you've been really trying. Yeah, we've been, like, fuck it. Finally did it it just do it yeah it's exciting it was

it was an exciting moment it's like we finally can start to grieve Coach Doug just came out of Erica's office oh by the way did you guys see the pickle

I got into on Saturday night with Mizzou that was oh yeah that was hilarious holy fuck that almost backfired so for anyone who didn't see it i i saw chase daniel just on saturday morning mizzou was playing georgia at mizzou

georgia's 29 point favorites georgia's way better and he's like if missouri wins tonight i will uh buy drinks at this bar in Columbia, Missouri for two hours. And I was just like, oh, this is nice. I can get it cheap. Everyone thanks me. I was like, I'll double it. And then they fucking were winning the entire game. And I was sitting there like freaking out.

I ended up giving them two grand, the bar. They did an open bar. The two grand was gone in 10 minutes. So if I had done two hours it would have cost me like twenty five thousand dollars on a on a complete like i didn't even think twice about it i was like i'm just gonna tweet this because everyone's gonna be like oh what a guy knowing that missouri will never win this game oh and it almost backfired it was back so badly that's awesome it was so close I wish it happened so much.

I was freaking. I was like, Jesus Christ, what have I done? That's a thrill, though, and I feel like you have to, offering a bar, have you ever done that before? Offering a bar tab? No, I think it's my new thing. It should be the new, it should be like a new challenge. Mr. Beeston. Yeah. But with bar tabs. Didn't that coach go in like

last year, two years ago? He like walked through the campus. Xavier coach did it. I think the coach for the Bengals did it. Zach Taylor did it. Did he? I think he bought everyone a drink. I was thinking of a college guy who like walks through the town. I think KB sniped it.

It was the Xavier basketball coach. It was? Oh, yeah. Okay. That's inappropriate that you knew that. Yeah. Yeah, if anyone wants a thrill just you know offer a bar tab for like a team like i did it for ruckers you gotta do it for a dry campus

you gotta do it or do i you yeah do it at byu i've been it's played out a little bit but the byu man on the street videos are they're like asking like would you rather watch one porn video or die an excruciating death? They're all like death. They were like death, yeah. I tried to do man on the street at BYU, and I was like, police descended on me. I don't know how they're real. Now there's so many TikTokers that the campus is just TikTok man on the street. He's asking them.

Washington Square Park now. Yeah, I haven't been. I have to say what I'm listening to the whole time. Probably Frick. Really? Frick. Frick. Probably Frick.

Frick. Frick. Frick. Um, Frick. Dadgummit. Frick. Frick. Gosh darn it.

Gosh darn it. Bonkers, man. I gotta go with gosh dang it. Shiz. What? Shiz. Probably Shiz. I don't swear. I got to go with gosh dang it. Shiz. What? Shiz. Probably shiz. I don't swear.

It's like weenie. Nards. Balls. Gosh dang it. Frick it. What the ham? What? What the ham?

What the ham? What's your favorite swear word? EDP. It's like a bunch of kids, huh? Yeah. Yikes. Did that guy used to... Yeah.

Yeah? What? Everything. TP? Bad. I'm not talking about Caleb. Oh. How?

Oh. Did he? Oh. He was featured on a lot of blogs. He did a couple of videos. Yeah, Smitty walked around the pole. I was doing a deep dive on the barstool page, and I found him, and I was like, whoa. Yeah. He was just posted a lot. Steven? He was goaded for a bit. I was doing a deep dive on the barstool page and I found him and I was like, whoa.

He was just posted. Steven? He was goaded for a bit. Is he canceled? Oh, yeah. He is? Three different ways. Canceled's a light word. Yeah, prison.

He's in jail? I don't know if he's in jail. I don't think he is. He's not in prison. He's trying to meet up with the kid, I think. Yeah, he's trying to meet up with the kid. Where was Schefter when we needed this reported? I don't think he'd be on his radar, right?

Oh, my God. I can't do it. What the fuck? This guy, Steven, your team stinks. And he also killed a dog, I think. What? Really? I didn't know that.

Yeah. I think he killed a dog. You like that reaction? Yeah. Wild porn. Yeah, yeah. A dog? A dog. You like that reaction? Yeah. Crowd porn. Yeah, yeah. A dog? No.

Oh, so he's a monster. It is how people react, though. The hurricane kills a bunch of people in Florida. Like, what about the pets? Think about the doggies, the doggos. It was just fine in Tampa? Yeah, it veered more towards a different part of the country

or the state but it did they did talk about traveling pets and it was like a bunch of dogs and one bunny one bunny I don't know how to react there was a tornado warning in Columbus when I was there, and everybody in my apartment complex brought their pets into the hallway,

and they were all really nervous, and I brought my ant farm out there. They were just mad. It's like, dude, I have more. I have more pets than anyone. This is a quantity thing. Are you saying one is a tragedy, but multiple is a statistic? How long do those ants stay alive? You can't really keep track. Yeah.

They come dead. No, no. They come kind of frozen, and then you've got to get them out of their tubes. What? They come frozen? They come cold. Yeah. They come really slow.

They came dead? I thought they came dead? I thought they came dead. That's the salmon who they reproduce and then immediately die. Yeah. They're never alive. Fuck to death?

They rot. They fuck and then they just rot. They have a garbage area that they build in their ant... I listen to a podcast about ant farms

and they have a garbage area that they dig in one area of their thing a podcast about ant farms and they have a garbage area that they dig in one area of their thing where they start to drag the bodies so they create like a mass grave sort of and that's where they all rot until there's finally only one left that's kind of depressing yeah we gave we gave away an ant farm as like a uh like early part of my take days guests that came on were like, here's an ant farm. Yeah. Very dickhead thing to do. Oh,

I would be, oh. Yeah, just be like, here, take care of these ants. We thought, we thought about doing a,

like a puppy. How funny would that be? That would be amazing. Thanks for coming on our show. Here's a tote bag and there's just a puppy. I mean, you gave one to Pete,

remember? Yeah, I gave a puppy to Pete. That was great. He was so pissed. He was freaking out. What a piece of shit. I still follow that dog

on Instagram. How's he doing? Good. What kind of dog is it? Golden? Golden Retriever. I think I still follow it too. Yeah.

Like Rizzo the puppy or something like that? No, I forgot. Jit. Jit? Jammy? Jemma? His name's Jit.

Oh, Jemma? Jemma? Jit. Since a Jit. Jit? Jammy? Jamma? His name's Jit. Oh, Jamma? Jamma? Jit. Sounds like Jit. Good puppy. Did you guys see Gilly and Wallow on the BET Awards carpet, and they were interviewing this? You know that new rapper woman who has a short red afro?

Yes. Do you know who I'm talking about ice spice and she calls people a munch and uh it's like uh it's like a derogatory term oh what does that mean i think it's just like a uh i don't know but a munch you're a kool-aid dude yeah maybe a kool-aid dude but gillian Wallow interviewed her, and she was like, which one of us is a munch? And she called Wallow a munch, dude. Was there a children's author named Munch?

Munch? Robert Munch? I think there has. Did he do Stinky Cheese Man? He may have. Was that Robert Munch? That's his... Yeah, she called someone a munch. But I can't stop thinking about that.

What? You're about to put the black bar over Sass's mouth as he says the N-word. Wasn't me. Munch. Could have been anyone. Big cat. Yeah. Did Tony Khan get Van Talk canceled?

No. You're thinking of Nick Khan. So You're thinking of Nick Khan. So Dave's thinking of Nick Khan. No, Jesus, Dave. Oh, boy. I was going to say, that guy's been in our office like 10 times in the last year.

That's such a dream. It's a wrong con. Wrong, yeah. Yeah. Dang. Yeah. Are you telling him to? We have a really good relationship with that con.

Yeah, not anymore. I just. I mean, that's so Dave. Dave Tony Khan is like a very good Like he's a big Barstool sport Ally That owns the Jaguars AEW Whoops

He also owns Fulham Damn I'm on Fulham Damn you guys You guys had a big win this weekend Massive Top of the league Top of the league.

Top of the league. What, nine in hours? Dave, what a fucking... Oh, my God. Dave. What's he saying now? No, it's just such a funny Dave thing to do. Just be like... Oh, now people are dragging Tony Khan.

What a piece of shit he is. That's so Dave to do that. Oh, fuck. Oh, well, all Khans look alike. I guess so. Nick Khan, Tony Khan, Captain Khan. Yep. All the fucking same to me. Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan. Khan Captain Khan yep all the fucking same to me Chaka Khan

Chaka Khan Khan Academy wow what the hell is that Con Air no no Khan Academy is a popular

online schooling who else who else I don't know it Genghis Genghis fuck Genghis big Khan

dang how did he how did she get Genghis before you Nick yeah haven't you been reading a Genghis book I Genghis. Big con. Dang, how did she get Genghis before you, Nick? Yeah. Haven't you been reading a Genghis book? Yeah, you okay? He died before the book was halfway done.

I'm deep into Kublai. Oh, Kublai Khan guy. You're a whole new Khan? Fuck. Is Kublai Khan related to Genghis Khan? Yeah. What? And son.

What? That's a good-ass lineage. Who was in between them, though? Some unknown con? It was like four brothers. They're responsible, aside from the Black Plague, the fall of the Mongolian Empire. What's the percentage?

Aren't like 30% of the world descendants of them? Yeah, there's a huge percentage. Which one do you think is? Definitely Kyle's. Yeah. I don think is related? Who of us do you think is? Definitely Kyle's. Yeah. I don't know about the rest of us. Did you see people are doing the 23andMe or whatever and getting back that most of us are,

there's Neanderthals and then there's, what's the other thing? Neanderthals. The older than that. Homo sapiens? There's Homo sapiens and then there's Neanderthals and some people are finding out that they're like 98% Neanderthal

which means the Homo sapien banged a Neanderthal while they were still going parallel. So some people have and like those people have different health troubles than like the rest of us or something like that. Yeah, they're White Sox fans. Yeah, they're White Sox fans.

Yeah. Wow. or something like that. Yeah, they're White Sox fans. Yeah, they're White Sox fans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, wow. So he just had a ton of sex? Like, what about- Like I said, 30%. Wow. One in 200.

There still are people in this office that have to be. Yeah. 30%. Wow. Let's get that up on Viva. Yep. Did we see that Frank and Jersey Jerry clip?

I missed it. Them walking out, Frank's just ripping his ear off. They walked in. Did they get in together? They probably rode in together. Oh, they didn't get in together. They just arrived at the same time? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You gave him a talk to the hands. Some clueless shit. You know, all my teams never win. Never win. You win every year. You win every year. They win every year.

It was a good season. No, we're in the playoffs. Another loss. No, we're in the playoffs. We're not in the playoffs. We're going to be in the wild card. Being in the wild card is not going to not in the playoffs We're going to be in the wild card Being in the wild card is not going to be in the playoffs Yes it is

Yes it is Another loss It very obviously is I can't wait for playoff baseball What are you going to do, Roan, if it's Phillies-Mets? What do you mean, what am I going to do? You're going to have to be on those streams Oh yeah, I'm in the fucking building.

Bonkers in there. I got a big dumb bet on the Phillies to win the World Series from a while ago at like plus 4,000. Did you just take a 20-second timeout? No. No, I was stretching. He definitely – he was just like this. I did that like –

You need 20? You need to blow? No, I was stretching my back You literally did a 20 second time out I don't know why I did that Make it a full minute Make it a full minute I feel like I've just got so much

Like pent up energy right now Yeah Ready to explode You guys want to get loose or I don't know You want to wrestle Kyle? No It's probably because you've been...

I want to hurt him right now. You would hurt him. You lost so much weight. He didn't lose any weight. You have all this energy. What the fuck are you talking about? It gives you a whole new lease on life when you lose that much weight. Jenna came to you easy.

Yeah. He's melted off. He melts off. Because you have that metabolism still. You're jumping jacks in the garbage bags. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He was cutting.

He was ass naked with the six-year-old boys in Aliquippa or whatever. Shit. Shit, dude. You need to fucking clothe those kids. That should be your work, your life's work. I mean, I'm curious to see what the rules are now. Yeah. Are there a lot of, like, helicopter moms in the wrestling world?

The moms are the worst. For real? The wrestling moms are insane. Why? What's their, what characterizes them? Because they're just as, like, psychopathic as the dads, except they don't have, like, the knowledge of the sport. They sound even crazier.

Yeah. Get him! Yeah, get him! You know, a video I was watching, I was watching that video, Will Compton's video the other day. sound even crazier. Get him! Yeah, get him! You know, I was watching that video, Will Compton's video the other day. The one where he's

in the stands at the high school game. You know what I'm talking about? I don't know. It's so fucking funny. You could pull it up. So you're going to say the other one you were

tweeting about the weight in the fish, Seth? Oh, yeah. That was so fucking funny. the fish, Sass? Oh, yeah. That was so fucking funny. Did you guys see that? Oh, yeah. Somebody's cheating in a fishing.

These two guys went around for like over three years. People thought they were cheating and they failed. They do polygraph tests like before and after these tournaments and stuff like that. And they were failing. And then everyone donates their fish to like the local shelters afterwards and they were the only ones who didn't and it turns out one they had a secret compartment in their boat where they would bring big fish already that were old and that's why they couldn't give them to the show because they were like old like big ass fish not from that day and two um

they were stuffing them with giant lead balls. So finally at the end of this contest the guy who was hosting was like alright these two are the winners but then he hands the mic over slits the fish open and is like oh they've been cheating and the other fishermen came at them so hard they had to get the police to escort them.

Because they won. Yeah Billy went viral for this. Oh yeah. The guys who were stuffing it with lead balls, I guess they've been doing this for years, and they've won, like, hundreds of thousands of dollars. And boats. They have, like, crazy sponsorships and stuff.

Yeah. They were putting other fish fillets in the fish. In their fish. It was walleye fish that they were putting in walleye fish. Why would they even, what's even, like, what? It's weight. No, weight decides who wins. Oh, I know, but why would they add the – they added like one –

Oh, they would wrap the balls in filet. Oh. Yeah. So that like – it's crazy. I watched the full stream. Like it's like ten minutes long, but you can see when he first discovers the first weight. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Or listen to all the angry ass... Oh, they're so mad. Like, gleefully angry. Rightfully so. Calling for him to get the death penalty. And, like, people are going to, like, fuck with their boats now for the rest of their lives. Some people are, like, excited.

It's, like, so embarrassing that... That black guy in the back, he's just, like, grinning ear to ear. He's so excited that this I mean, it's got to be the best story in fishing in the last three decades. Woo! Yeah, for no reason.

This guy's like, fuck, I got caught. Apparently there was like, they've been like suspecting it for a long time. That motherfucker's gonna burn. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. That and the poker to burn. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. Oh, yeah. That and the poker thing

that I still don't understand. The chess anal beads. The chess thing. The chess anal beads. Magnus Carlsen anal beads. I guess it's really easy to cheat in sports. Nobody fucking cares about that.

Yeah. Well, in niche sports. Watch the chess thing. Or not the chess thing, the poker thing. Poker. I didn't quite get it. There's always poker. There's always poker controversies, and I try to follow along,

and it takes me a minute where I'm like, I'm out. We talk about the woman who... I clicked on the video. I was like, all right, let's figure this out. I read Nate's blog, and it was like she gave the money back, which was suspicious. Yeah, she gave the money back right away like in a hallway after huh why because the men made her feel bad about it she was about the call i think like she was

like he was having a tantrum or something and she just didn't want to deal with it it's because she's a hot woman to be honest why on her part yeah well can you break it down like barney style i have no uh well she had jack three and there was no jacks or threes on the board. So she just has jack high, and she gets to the turn, which is when you should have a good hand by then. And people are betting a ton. This guy goes all in, and she called with jack high, which wouldn't be pretty much anything. And in defending it, I think she said she thought he had ace high,

which would have actually beat her jack high, so it still wouldn't have made sense. I also have seen a lot of pockets of the internet. How did she win? That's her. Isn't she like, she won because... You should write a blog. Like, you see her?

Cheated. This Garrett guy is like very big in the poker world, right? And she's kind of an amateur. He looks suspicious already. By the way, my guy grit knocks just dm me saying that the fillets that they put in them is so that you can't feel the lead little padding yeah a little padding but there's big uh sex of the internet that are saying that like oh everyone just thinks that she cheated because she's like a woman who outplayed the system or whatever.

They're turning it into almost a sexist thing that people are... Wait, wait, wait. Go back. Assuming that this woman cheated. Oh, I didn't even realize she was a woman until now. So not misogynistic, I am. Good man. I assumed it was the guy that was cheating. Right, totally.

If you have beautiful breasts, you can't cheat. No. On my eyes. His reaction. Liar, liar. That's why I'm always cheating. Me and my uneven A's. His reaction, everyone was laughing.

He's like, well, he just stares at her. He's just like, well, I don't find this as cute as anybody else. I do like poker players. She gave him the money back, right? She gave him the money, yeah. He gave who? She gave that guy the money back. Oh. That does seem suspicious.

That she has breasts? That off camera, she was just like, I'll just take the money back. Oh, yeah, that is. she was just like I'll just take the money back oh yeah that is it was like $400,000 you wouldn't just do that oh and I think you wouldn't cheat but you would be like

just take the money I think you're the fairest fuck like that you was really pissed so she was probably just like this isn't worth it yeah it is worth it

but it is look at the white knight over here she's probably just the best poker player in the world and also the most generous human.

I shouldn't believe her. It's the first rule. So what side is Nate Dog on? Does he believe that... I think he's saying she cheated. Is she single? He said he wanted to get a...

I'm on her side. He wanted to get a rundown of how hard they work before he decides. Yeah. How many blogs? Yeah. What their output is.

Is this our blogger page? This is where the poker community stands, according to Kraken Ace's, Barcelona's, and the unsure. Whoa. Whoa. Hey, commit. Well, a lot of people said she's not cheating. A lot of people are on her side.

Where's the Gulf Coast poker content creator of the year fall on it? Oh, yeah. That was the most specific award of all time. And Mince with the kids. Ole Miss. I saw him beating someone's ass in the stands. Oh, that video. And to lay the smack down.

What if Mince was just dusting kids? Yeah, he looks so funny how many naked six-year-olds do you think you could fight maybe I'm gonna think

about the nudity would affect it would probably make it easier for that because you would like to be right it'd be a moment

by how grossed out you are right yeah I think I would do solely kicks I think it's... Yeah. You don't want to do anything with your hands.

Yeah. You get a wayward hand. Look at him. Oh. He, Mincy, in all-time Mincy fashion, texted me at noon on Saturday. The last text I had with Mincy was three weeks ago. He texted me out of the blue at noon on Saturday. The last text I had with Mincy was three weeks ago. He texted me out of the blue at noon on Saturday.

Nuts in front row of student section. This is going to be freaking great. I didn't ask. He can't. It's very mad. I didn't even reply. I was like, okay. He's also just not in the front row.

That was last week when he tweeted the thing about the tour the chicken fry tour oh yeah something about a bunch of girls he's like I've never had so many hot ass girls cheering for me he's got his

he's got his swag back oh yeah he's back he's back on tour he's got his swag back is he still down there I'm sure he's probably gonna do some street work

we're going to Louisiana in a few weeks, so he's got to get everyone ready for that. Never been anywhere. More hot girls going nuts in front row, excited about my presence. Yup. No, why do you say two? Yup.

That was you. How old is Mintz? 15. Yeah. He's 57. Is he really? No. He's 21.

Imagine if he was 57. I wouldn't be that surprised. He's 39. Ben Mintz actually went to Ole Miss when they didn't allow black players to play. He's not 39, dude. That's fucked up, dude. He's 23. 23. He's 23. He just graduated last fall Like 57 might be more believable than 39

I think he's in his mid 30s He's 39 He is 39 He is 39 Yeah Just turned 31 Listen Isn't Jerry like 26?

Yeah Yeah 27 How old did you think he was? 39 I thought Jerry was 26? Yeah. Yeah. 27. How old did you think he was? 39? I thought Jerry was. Jerry thinking that Taylor LeJuan died. That was hilarious.

All the time. Great condolences text to Will, too. DM. Hope all is well. Up the good work. That was a fun-ass advice. Hope all is well. Yeah.

The advisor was great. That was neat. Jerry was, yeah. Rowan, fun-ass advisor. Opal as well. Yeah. The advisor was great. That was neat. Jerry was, yeah. Rowan, I'm going to Philly for the first time tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Everyone buy tickets, please. If you have not bought tickets yet, good call, Nick. The Dozen Trivia live from the Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met.

The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. The Met. Is it a QR code? Come see us compete It is going to be absolutely electric I am going to do So much No Maybe

I am going to do so many Eagles chants Oh dude I am so excited that I get to do Eagles chants Dude you know what I'm excited to whip out? I don't even know if I should say it I'll tell you off air What the hell? That's the only time you talk to me to whip out. I don't even know if I should say it. I'll tell you off air. Okay. What the hell? Because I just don't know.

This is the only time you talk to me. I'm not telling you ever. Who are we playing first? Us. Fuck. Oh, shit. You guys are our kryptonite.

We can't beat you. We beat everyone but you. Like, you're going to get Frank and maybe his most fragile. Oh, true. He's falling apart Oh yeah. But also Steven and I are not we're not in a great spot

relationship wise right now. Did you hear Kyle just pull that Xavier shit? Your team keeps fucking beating beating my brains in with your stupid bets. It's because Brady's washed. There is like a different bonus round thing for live events now. I think it's just later.

But our niche category. All right. Well, we got to. I have a feeling like when they do the dozen 30 for 30 in 20 years, it's going to just be like the story is going to be like, yeah, the Yak never really could put it all together. You never put it together. Oh, that attitude?

That's definitely going to be it. Like the best it never was. Totally. Which, we have very Utah jazz, Buffalo Bills. Yeah, right. Where we're like, we... Made it to the Super Bowl. We think we're on the climb, but it's like, no, no, no, our peak has already passed.

And we have kryptonite that we always meet. Which is Stephen Chay. Yeah. His brain versus my sanity. Yeah. One of the greatest rivalries of all time. I think you guys are going to win it. Shut up.

You fucking dick. I'm almost certain. Shut the fuck up. You taking a dive? So this is airing live after? Like a week later? The day after. Oh, wow.

So we're the second game? Yeah. Nick, there's a really good cheesesteak spot in town. Really? Yeah. Don't say. Send it to Pat. Are you getting there a little early to get the judge of the city since you haven't been?

I think we're taking a charter bus directly after the act. Oh. I'll be driving. Charter bus? What the hell is a charter bus? That's what they're called, right? Charter? Right.

It's just a bus that they rent. Okay, Steven. That's what I was getting at. Team Yak would like to drive with me. I will take out one of the car seats. Oh, I'm driving myself. I'm taking my wife. Her family's from there, so.

Yeah. Where did they go to school? Justin Long doesn't show up. That's rude. Would be a shame. I Justin Long doesn't show up. That's rude. Would be a shame. I wish I never brought that up. You getting in trouble at home for that one? No, I didn't actually.

She'll be in the green room and I'm going to mention it. Oh, yeah. Don't do that. I mean, I have to. Us or the whole crowd in Philly. Us or the entire Met. What I'm going to do is I'm just going to be like, who am I? Yeah.

What are you doing? I'm like, I'm Justin Maltin. You're risking taking our rivalry to a new level. Yeah. I'm okay with that. We're all in the acting together. This is bad for you guys. We're in shambles in terms of chemistry, cohesiveness, chemistry, all that. I'll admit it. It's fine. for you guys. We're in shambles in terms of chemistry.

Cohesiveness, chemistry, all that. I'll admit it. That's fine. I feel good about it. I think that we just need to get past the box

losing and be good. We're on to week five tomorrow. It's tomorrow. The game's tomorrow. We need to lock in. Week four is over tonight. I need that Adderall connect.

There's Pete. He's got a bunch. Pete actually is more of a Vyvanse 80 milligrams guy. Yeah. Just always on the go. 80 milligrams of Vyvanse gets my jaw going. I am excited to compete, Stephen. We will get along until Until we don't.

Probably. Just use your brain. I do. Not your heart. Jeff always gives us the hardest questions, too. He does. Us more than any other team. Yeah.

He singles us out to give us hard questions. Yeah, he has already written the ending, like, of who won. The trophy already has the logo on it. That's why we're excited for the Frankettes. No spoilers. Smitty's going to be in town, too. Smitty and Philly. Oh, yeah, the Uptown Balls, right?

Who's on Uptown Balls? Him. Lenny and Tommy. Lenny and Tommy, yeah. That's a good team. I might go just to watch. Let's go, Kate. And see if I can catch

anyone peeing in the bathroom on the bus on the way down. The golf tournament. That was annoying. I threw the ball to you. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. I hit my balls

and you missed by a mile. Small balls. There was no chance. Yeah. It hit you directly in your groin. No, it hit me in my inner thigh.

Does that truly hurt? Yeah, that's true. It really hurts. in your groin. No, it hit me in my inner thigh. Does that truly hurt? Yeah, that's what it hurts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Remember when you gave birth? 10X that. Yeah.

I had an epidural. I don't feel a thing. 10X. I wish I could have an epidural. You cheated? I cheated. Can I tell my 10X conundrum from this weekend? Yes.

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What the hell are you guys thinking so this saturday i uh went to a kid's birthday party as a fourth birthday party i brought my son to someone in his class and so i don't know anything you brought your son wasn't it for him no it was for another kid wait who was invited your son brought you you said brought your son like you were going and you just he just tagged along okay i transported my son there i drove him there and then i had to stay obviously so it's a three-hour birthday i think and i get there and i meet the dad of the girl whose birthday it was and i'm wearing just a barstool sweatshirt sweatpants and my 10x hat and so he introduced himself and i myself as well and he goes oh you're a fan of grant he's like we have a lot to talk about i was like what that's a nightmare cardone like what and he's like your hat 10x he's like grant

cardone i was like oh fuck so he went to go like mingle with other people he's like i'll be back we'll talk and i was like oh no so i didn't know what to do. Eventually, I just came clean and be like, yeah, I know who this guy is. I didn't read the book. I would have played along. You could have easily played along. I would have corrected him. How cool was this guy? He actually was pretty cool. Of course he was.

He's 10x. What did he get his son for his birthday? Stock. Tesla. An investment property. He was big into investments. Of course. He was a good guy. You get him a multi-unit home

so he'll have residual income but they won't be able to sell it through your entire lifetime. He was telling me about how many doors you should buy and how many you should aim for. What? Doors? Yeah, doors. You look at a home, tell me about how many doors you should buy and how many you should aim for what doors yeah doors he's like yeah you look at a home you know it's you try you aim for like a if your goal is like a 16 door home he's like you should really be into like a 32 door home and then eventually

roll it up to a 64 door home we're talking about literal doors metaphorical doors i thought winchester i read some of the book. Now I didn't get to the door part. That's so weird. I just assumed that meant like the size of the house, but I don't know. Can you look this up? That's how he measures the size of his house is by the door. I only have five doors, dude.

I'm embarrassed as fuck. Oh, I got to count my doors. I know. Hold on. We don't have enough time. Does the elevator count as a door? Yes. If you count cupboards, I got 40. I only have five doors. I know. Hold on. We don't have enough time. Does the elevator count as a door? Yes. If you count cupboards,

I got 40. I only have five doors. I only have five. Each cabinet? I have five. Oh, fuck. I have three doors. Closets?

You have three? Closets don't count. I guess closets. Front bathroom. Oh, well, those are more doors. No closets. No, yes, they do count.

Or if it's a door, it's a door, so I might have eight. I went back to his house. He only had four doors. I can't believe I went through with that. You, yes, they do count. Or if it's a door, it's a door. So I might have eight. I went back to his house. He only had four doors. I can't believe I went through with that. You have seven. I have three.

Three? Yeah. Your front door, your bathroom door, and your bedroom door? Yeah. You don't even have a door on your bedroom, brother. I do. I have 18 doors. There's just no wall.

Oh, there's no wall. That's what it is. We'll get to a 32. Doing well. Yeah, I got to get have 18 doors. There's no wall. Oh, there's no wall. That's what it is. I'll get to a 32. Doing well. Yeah, I got to get to 32 doors. 32 doors is way too many doors. A lot of doors. Like, what the fuck would necessitate that many doors?

I think you're talking about a door. Because it doesn't... You have a bedroom gate. I have two doors. Bathroom and front door. I think he was talking about, like, investment properties. So, like, if you go in, he's like, go in with a few friends. And instead of getting, investment properties so like if you go in he's like go in with a few friends and instead of getting like a 16 door home he's like get a 32

door home he's like go in with a few friends it's like and then you know you'll get the residual money from that and he's like and then take that money and go into a 64 door home i feel like bedrooms are a more common descriptor. Or like square feet. Yeah. Yeah. This guy said he listened to multiple Grant Cardone audiobooks, I think. She knows what he's talking about. I believe him and Grant. Trust me.

Huh. Pores. Dana White came out on the 10X Lifestyle as well. Really? He's doing the 10X Health, so it saved his life. Oh, shit. I need 10X Health. What is 10X Health?

What do we do? I don't know. He said that he had some life expectancy of like 10 years, and then he started doing 10x health, and now he's good. 10 years? What? Who had a life expectancy of 10x? Dana White.

For what? They just give out life expectancy? Yeah. I wouldn't want mine. What's the 10x? And they know when you're going to die, and they're right within a month. So I'm like, wait a minute.

This guy can tell me when I'm going to die and be right within a month? That was your hook. I became obsessed. So I went down there. They did my blood work. That's a magician. He said, if you keep doing what you're doing right now and you stay on this trajectory, you got 10.4 years.

I said, Dana, I can see that you can't sleep through the night. I would wake up in the middle of the night and throw up almost every night. That's enough for me. You should be living way less than 10 years. And I slam the table down. He's like, you've got to be kidding me. You're starting to freak me out. My legs were so fucked up that I couldn't put my socks on in the morning.

I was like a tenth of a point away from being diabetic. He said, you do exactly what I tell you to do for 10 weeks, and I guarantee you I'll change your life. So I was in. You have to understand, I don't fall into all this hippie bullshit. I don't do any of this shit. I'm like the average Joe real guy, okay? This guy has changed my life in 10 weeks.

I don't snore anymore, and I sleep 7, 8 hours a night now. How much weight have you lost? If you don't mind me asking. 30 pounds. I feel like I'm 35 years old again. There's somebody who's listening right now who are going through the same things that I did. Horrible sleeping at night, snoring, sleep apnea, borderline diabetes. I invested in them for 10 weeks, and this guy changed my life.

It's about not getting the right information. This music's really helping sell it. There's no tangible information. It's always that. It's always this information. But instead of telling you what the information is. He threw up every night?

In the middle of his sleep? Why didn't you go to a doctor's way sooner? I mean, once I had to go to the doctor. Yeah, what? He's a biologist, non-physician. Non-physician, yeah. I mean, once I had to go to the doctor. Yeah, what? He's a biologist, non-physician. Non-physician, okay. I can tell you to the second when you're going to die. I'm not a doctor.

Don't give in to the hippie bullshit. I'm a criminal. Hey, we should do this. We should try to figure out all of our... So what do they mean he's right within a month? Was there tests? Yeah, how many people have died? How many patients have died?

Yeah, how do they... What if he's just a serial killer? Yeah. Where he's like, yeah, I've been right within a month. And if the person doesn't die, he just kills them. Are they just hydrating with baggies? Yeah, they're just putting piss back in your body. That's piss.

They're putting piss back in your body. You give me a chance to put some piss in your day. I guarantee 10 weeks of my piss in your day. The amount of piss you have in your body right now, you need 10x that piss. And you. No guarantee. Ten weeks of my piss in your day. The amount of piss you have in your body right now, you need 10x that piss. And you will live forever. That hue of the bag, that was Faygo

Moon Mist. That was a leader of Faygo. That was the Faygo. I do want to do something drastic health-wise, though. I just want to see something drastic health wise though like I just want to see if I can be fit I've never like done that I mean you're a human so you can be

I know but you're probably a great shit you could be a real piece of shit you know what I've learned from watching people like Anthony Ruiz and Tyson Fury is like it's just not in the cards for some of us yeah I feel like at this point you had to.

You were forced to. But on my own accord, could I? Like, Tyson Fury, by all accounts, boxing is like one of the hardest workouts, especially cardio-wise. And no matter how much cardio he does to be able to fight these 12-round fights against incredible fighters,

he's not, he still has, like, he's a bad body, yeah. It's crazy. There's nothing you can do about it, Sass. Damn straight. How much is the full 10x kit? Like if I wanted to go full 10x. It's probably like $10,000.

The health kit that Dana took is $600 each. But what is a kit of tangible things or just information? You get two Q-tips. Yeah, I guess you just swab your shit and then send it back. That's Pat for Christmas.

His friend got him this kit where he's supposed to poop into a baggie and send it to them. And they tell you here's what you should be eating to feel better. And then he just couldn't

bring himself to poop in the baggie. Didn't Caleb do that? He's like, yeah, I gotta go poop in this bag. Funny. Funny hold his bag. Yeah.

What was that? I want that. 10x health. Yeah, Big Cat, can we have this? It's $121,000. Dan. Wait, $121,000? People are crazy about this red light show.

Pick a game. Big time underdog. If they win, we buy it. This is such a great racket. Yeah, no, this would... I could buy a couple of those if the Eagles win the Super Bowl. If the Eagles win the Super Bowl, we all get one. Yeah.

Superhuman Protocol. That sounds awesome. 10X Superhuman Protocol. This is just a full scam. Oh, absolutely. Dude, what? $130,000? End the show, TJ.

$130K for just that? What the fuck? Wait, so 10x is a scam? We're talking about 10x health right now. Are they not related? I'm pretty sure it's the same thing. It's the same logo. It's like the WeWork guy doing like

WeSchool and shit just throw a we on something 10x cars superhuman protocol is such a smart I'll buy anything that says it with red light panels red light panels are like people they sell them in glasses

you can buy like a fucking flat red light panel that you can curve around your face. People are obsessed with the shit. And there are I mean, there's depends on what you think about the doctors, but there are a lot of doctors that talk about the shit. I mean, let's be honest. These people are geniuses. Oh, basically, like we can just create this fake shit and sell it to super rich people who want to live forever. Because every super rich person wants to live forever. Right, like blue light glasses,

it's like, oh, you don't want blue light in your eyes, but like red light glasses, you do want red light in your eye? It all just sounds like some bullshit. We got to come up with like yellow light, green light, some shit like that, sass. Sassy.

Sass, you absolute bastard sass you're funny dude that's set on fucking Friday you are funny did you go yeah it was hilarious I need to see you still

it was so good can you tell me when you're going again looks like you're just gonna have to wait and find out brother I wanna see you I'm not gonna be in New York for a long time You're in New York this weekend Why?

Yeah, but I mean in the city Rowan, how's the magic show? I had to listen to Son of a Boy, Dad Oh By the way Gilly Monster Potentially Should I say it? it this show maybe not um maybe advisors

i'm working on some things for advisors whoa find some feelings for date be a good fit that'd be awesome very funny wow wallow too or just ghillie i'll take that ghillie idiot stupid idiot down there you're so stupid dude oh i thought you're minus 10x 202 or just Gilly? I'll take that Gilly. Nice. Idiot. Stupid idiot down there. You're so stupid, dude. Oh, I thought you were. You're minus 10x. Fuck.

Maybe Stavi. God damn. And like Sass. And Sass? No. Maybe have Che do the weather. No. Ooh.

No. I got some plans for it. That would be sick. I want to keep it fresh. Those got some plans for it. That would be sick. I want to keep it fresh. Those dudes both like to gamble. Yep, I want to keep it fresh. Fuck yeah. Make two with this season.

Ben Simmons plays tonight against the Sixers. You think he's going to shoot some threes? Definitely not. That dude's a pussy. That dude's a big pussy. Whoa, are you you gonna boo him? I might go to the game just to boo him Is it in Brooklyn? Dude who do we talk to about getting game time tickets?

Nick Mulcahy And do you think Nick could get me tickets to BravoCon next weekend? Oh shit I wanna go Remember we were gonna do a man on the street at BravoCon And they're like you're not gonna make fun of him are you? And we're like, ah. That would have been sick, though. What is BravoCon?

It's like all the housewives and shit. Yes. Housewives, Below Deck, Southern Charm, all the shows that appear on Bravo, everything under the Andy Cohen umbrella, they're all featured over three days in New York. Like a convention for. Should we go, Roan?

It's like white folk. Should we go and try to start a fight? The Husbands of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, who I'm also obsessed with all those guys, they do a live show where they do comedy. They do stand-up, and it's mixed with a Frank Sinatra impersonator. Oh, hell yeah.

I would love very much to go to that. They definitely are big. I would imagine Andrew Dice Clay is a big inspiration for those guys. Yes. It's crazy how famous they all believe they are. They're a big happy-you-got-to-meet-me type of guy. Yeah, Joe Gorg, I follow him on Instagram. He pulled up his Instagram.

He has inspirational quotes that are like very 1950s. It's crazy. I'm obsessed with all those guys. Yeah, and I feel like it's similar to the bar story. V-O-R-G-A. Yeah, that's fair, I bet. Where everyone has an inflated sense of self-worth.

Absolutely, yes. Hey, you should try to become a real housewife in New Jersey. You should. Imagine the beef hanging out with Joe Gordon. Beef would be so good. He's the diva, the beef. He would be the star of the show. That would be so great.

But didn't Willie Colon try to, or he had a test run or some shit like that? His wife is on a show. Look at this shit. The best gift a man can give his woman is his time, his attention, and his love. That's beautiful. That shit, I just see it every day, and I'm like, yeah, true, dude. That's so true.

There he is with his wife. Never seek revenge. Rotten fruit will fall by itself. Wow. Is that a parcel? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. No, he's a fan. No, he's been in the office. He's been here. I, yeah. Oh, no. He's a fan.

He's been in the office. He's been here. I love him. I'm obsessed with these guys. Yeah. He's out at the football field. Just inspiring people every day. And this group, too, is big into the 10X lifestyle.

Oh, yeah. These are big 10X guys. He'll cry, and he'll skip a wedding or something because someone was mean to him this one's hilarious he skipped theresa's wedding just recently when a woman says correct me if i'm wrong don't under any and i mean any circumstance do it my favorite are the comments like the thousands of comments being like amen man you are right brother is he making his own i do like captioning the actual picture as well. I think that's what's on Instagram. Any friend that turns into an enemy has been hating from day one. Wow.

Unless you do something fucked up. Nope. They were haters. Do you think that he has the quote and then he takes the picture? He's like, I got a good quote. Take a picture of me pointing up. I think it's on the fly. I like to think that it's on the fly. This is their improv.

I also like how he doesn't mind them from other famous quotes. I think he's making these up himself. Disagreements are fine. Disrespect is not. This is awesome. Yeah, this is good. And I like the comment, do you agree? Hashtag respect.

Cactus looks like his cock. Cactus looks like his cock. This is great. Ihtag respect. Yeah. Cactus looks like his cock. Cactus looks like his cock. This is great. I love this guy. Is it Cactus cock? People always say, I know how you feel. Nah, you really don't. Damn.

Hell yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm telling you, he's got wisdom up the ass. That's the same picture. Oh, same picture. I loved you so much that even when you hurt me, I tried to understand you. That's about his sister. Yes, I think he communicates with his sister.

They both communicate with each other through veiled Instagram posts. That's beautiful. Which I also love. Also, can you go back to that? I like the comment, his caption. Yup. Yeah, it's what you're saying. Which is exactly right.

He's like, I agree with you. This guy's got his finger on a post. He's got this picture of me and the quote on it. It's a genius template. What's that one down there? Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Going into the weekend like,

oh, that's funny. Oh. Yeah. I mean, well, he was going in. Go back to going in the weekend. I think Rowan didn't get it. I didn't. Well, I just didn't see how he was going in.

So there he is with his hot wife. Yeah. And they're walking into the weekend like. Yeah. When was this posted? Was this Christmas weekend? Yeah. I always go into the weekend like.

I posted in June. Okay. Sort of kidnapping a woman. Yeah. That's how I like to go into my weekends. This guy Groovy Aloe in the comments down. Bad. What'd he say?

Melissa's ass. Literally everyone is jealous of the sexiest couple on planet. Oh, the comments? Oh, no. There's a lot of them. Look at that guy. Yeah, yeah. Damn.

Legend. And everyone who says he has chicken legs, they don't realize that sometimes it's hard to build mass in different parts of your body. That's true. That's a fact, Rowan. I'll put some more. I feel inspired.

This is my 10X. He really is an inspiring bastard. That's why I feel like we got to get in with these Bravo husbands or whatever, like the dudes from the show, and maybe kind of get some kind of. Dude, if you could get them in here to do the yak one day in your place. Joe would come in and do the yak. Snakes don't hiss anymore.

They call you baby, bro, honey, or friend. We should just steal this model for the yak Instagram. Just get us at the end of every yak. Tell you the quote. Throw it up. It was just a good template. Just a picture of of SAS and says, I thought I had cancer once. Yeah. Didn't.

A lot of people don't know their grandmoms. Got it. Right. I picture me. I have 18 doors in my. No, wait. 19. That's the whole quote.

Goddamn. Nailed it. Have you ever seen That's the whole quote. Yeah. Goddamn it. Nailed it. Have you ever seen the inspirational quote? There's some account that's like a ripoff of that, but the quotes just make absolutely no sense. I've always thought that we could get how funny it would be if we made Gary Vee parody, but with Glennie. Oh.

And had Glennie being the parody Self help guy It would just be so funny if Glennie was just being like Glennie B Sleep nine hours love your loved ones Eat right work out Glennie B Being kicked when you're down

Will turn you into a beast when you get back up Like motivational music With Glennie explaining how he stayed awake Being kicked when you're down will turn you into a beast when you get back up. Facts. Huh. Like motivational music with Glennie explaining how he stayed awake for 16 hours. Change your hair and you will change your look. Change your mind and you will change your life. Whoa. He just went bald and then... Whoa.

Damn. That's kind of fire. Shout out Joe Gorga. He's a real one. Big shout out. Love that guy. We should get him on the show. Can we book him, Steven?

Who's his other friend that's like real big? Oh, the guy who's always fucking. Who's always bringing the girlfriends over to his ex-wife's house. He like lives with his ex-wife is his name Joe too? is his name also Joe? Joe or Tony that guy's a legend as well

and he's even more jacked that show is good I like watched like two episodes of it and I was like this is gonna suck and then like ten minutes in I was like this is fucking awesome what show is it? Real Housewives of New Jersey specifically Yeah. What's going to happen? What show is it? Real Housewives. Of New Jersey.

Specifically of Jersey. What's the original one? Nuts. No OC was the original one right? I don't know. With Tamra and uh what was her name?

Vicky. Oh yeah yeah. I remember Vicky's husband who her boyfriend who faked he had cancer for an entire like two seasons and everyone was like your husband's faking it. She's like, no.

That was before I was in the universe. The cinematic universe. What was his name? Now I'm in. Brooks. His name was Brooks. That's a good ass name. That's a great name. The Southern Charm people are there on Sunday. I'm going to try to get tickets.

Gotta go. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I would going to try to get tickets. We've got to go. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I would like to make a man on the street video. It would be very funny there. We were told that we... Yeah, there's too many connections. Well, they were just like, you're going to make fun of them. Or you're not going to, right? And I was like, no, that was

the plan. They could probably get you a lot of the people, but it's a strict no jokes policy. Right. They're dead serious. I wouldn't make jokes to Joe Gorga. I'd just fucking give him a man hug. Yeah. A bro hug. He'd probably dap so fucking loud. Bros don't, maybe put that

as a quote. Me and Brandon kissing. Bros don't hug, they kiss on the lips. Inspire some people. Bros don't hug, they fuck face to face. Then you gotta put in tiny little font in the corner like industry quotes. Industry quotes.

Man, this guy's a millionaire mindset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, should we spin the wheel? Oh boy, wet would suck. It's chilly in here too. Oh shit, we... It's a? Oh, boy. Wet would suck. It's chilly in here, too. Oh, shit. It's a little-ass wheel. Oh, my God.

It got small fast. Yeah. Look at that tight little wheel. Radio Shack's zap. I really wish I knew. We need to go out to Le Bernardin. I know, I know, I know, I know. Try.

Try. Acrylic nails gonna suck. Oh boy. It'd be you, Roan. It could be Roan. Anybody. That shit was bad. That shit sucked.

It sucked ass. Five dries left. Five dries left and six things. If I get acrylic nails, they're going to be so long. Yeah, because you're fucking the number one prankster in the office now. That's true. What are you talking about? I used to be a great prankster, but you are now the crown prince of pranking.

This is a prank right now. And you took Rudy's space bar. Borrowed it for the weekend. Absolute scoundrel. As soon as Jim Florentine left, you became the crown. You were the cranky anchor. Does he work? No, I don't think so.

I don't think he works for us. That ended a while ago. He's still under the umbrella. He didn't say bye to you, Nick? No text? Dude, I'm sorry. This is how you had to find out. He went to Texas Roadhouse?

Yeah. Just always thinking he was going to come back. Mr. Florentine just went out for some cigarettes and milk. No. He'll be back. I wish I could do his voice so bad. What about if we wanted to rip on Vin? Deep and fucking sick. Can't do it. Yeah, you guys are fucking sick. I wish I could do his voice so bad. What about if we wanted to rip on Vin?

Deep and fucking sick. I can't do it. Yeah, you guys are fucking... You're going to be fucking on the road. Yeah. You're going to be... No, I can't do it. You're going to be balls deep in sub-six. It's like 10 octaves lower than that.

Ipsy. It's so low. So fucking low. No, I can't. It's not even worth trying. Try it. It's absolutely bad. Check on the blogger page.

He's still on there. I'm pretty sure. Florentine, him and Leonard Fournette. I feel like I talked to someone about this recently and they said he wasn't at bars 20 more. You think the Bucs just have a bad game plan? Yeah. Why don't they run the ball ever?

You can't really set up the pass if you're never running the ball. I think can't really set up the pass if you're never running the ball. I think it's bad front office. I think it's mostly just they suck ass. They're bad at football.

I think it has to do with that. They've struggled to run the ball. That's no secret. They had negative three rushing yards in the first half,

and then the game script kind of got out of whack when it's a three-score game. Yikes. Maybe Fournette should stick to blogging. He's a better receiver than anything. He's a good receiverscore game. Yikes. Maybe Fournette should stick to blogging. He's a better receiver than anything.

He's a good receiver, yeah. This year. Yeah, I was concerned immediately when they started going to screens very early. Well, they just can't do anything. Yeah, I mean, it's a new offensive line, so a lot of guys getting back. We'll be okay.

We're not peaking early, for sure. KB, is that a new phone? No, I ordered fucking Uber Eats to my apartment. Oh, my God. That's the worst. You're just blowing me up. What do I say? Just say, tell them to leave it at the door.

Yeah, leave it at the door. That sucks, though. Then hit up your neighbor. I got ran off on yesterday. What do you mean? Uber Eats guy. He ran off? He ran off with yesterday What do you mean? Uber Eats guy You ran off? Ran off with the food

No Tell him to give it to a homeless guy Do the right thing Tell him to send you the money back Jesus Christ It's the worst You are so hungry, too. Oh, man.

Right before the show started, you pulled me aside. You're like, dude, I'm hungry. I know. What did you get? What did you order? Burmese? It had to have been Muscle Maker Grill. He always orders something that's Muscle Maker Grill.

You order something that smells exactly like a fart. It's so good. It's not even like a... What did you get there? Dude, I've had every item. Have you had the taco salad? Yes. So good. The good taco salad there. Yeah. Dude, I've had every item. Have you had the taco salad? Yes. So good.

Good taco salad there. Oh, my God. Good wraps, good burgers. The wraps are amazing. Is that what you got? Those lean turkey breads. It's not lean, but it's... Oh, my God.

You can order, like, you can, like, meal prep from there, too. You can order, like, ten meals at once. I didn't know that. Yeah. Wow. Well, why would you do that if you could just order them as you want them? Because there's, like, a discount, like, package. Oh, got it, got it, got it.

Is it, what do you usually get from there, Sass? I get the taco salad a lot. It's really good. The lean taco salad, of course. I get, sometimes I go with the keto options. The Oddfather, the Arizona, the turkey meatballs. I get the

healthy pasta. Sassy meat pasta. Today's a good meatball sub day. There it is. Your face has changed a lot. It has. Sub day. There it is. I thought, oh, yeah. Your face has changed a lot. It has. That wasn't while you were here, though.

No way. No, that was like years ago. Okay. That was college. Okay, I guess you aged then. What? Gracefully. You got older?

It's time past. Bro, what happened? What a glow up Used to be a baby I was not attracted to you when you were a boy Our sass got ugly ever since he's become an adult That's way more fucked up I only liked you as a little boy

What? What the fuck? I had a guy I had my Uber I was saying to him I had my Uber Eats guy yesterday just send a picture of the ground in the city somewhere and be like, your food's arrived. And I was like, what's even the point of doing that, like, if you're going to steal it? Because obviously I'm going to get my, like, I'm going to get the refund. Like, why, I don't understand why they do that. So he just stole your food? Then I got refunded instantly. What? the refund. Like why? I don't understand why they do that. So he just stole your food?

Then I got refunded instantly. What? He can say that he like took the picture. But there's nothing in the picture. It's literally just a picture of like the street. Yeah, but you probably just have to submit something to keep going. Yeah. Or you could probably claim ignorance.

Maybe like, oh, I thought I was taking a picture of the... That's the worst. And you usually know. You see him start going the opposite way of the apartment, and you're like, ah, he's running off with it. We got a loose one. He liked my order. You hunt him down?

Yeah. I had a guy who was, like, heading to Brooklyn, and I was like, what are you doing, dude? I was like, so bringing the food, and he was like, lost my bike, long story. And then it was canceled. No way. You should have at least gotten the story.

I know. Damn. Feed my soul if you're not going to feed my belly. I think they wait for an order they like or whatever I get at the end of their shift I'll just go home with. Yeah. I bet it's an order they like. Yeah, and that determines like, all right, I'm done for the day. Out back at noon?

God damn. It's over. Also, I left my phone in the Uber for the first time on Friday night. A little drunk? That's why you were phone-less? A little drunk? Yeah, that sucked. Did you get it back?

The next day at like 7 p.m. Damn. Because the guy lived all the way in Long Island. Oh. Yeah, so he went home with it. I was drunk in a New Yorkork city taxi once and at the end you know you put your card you have to put in your pin and i guess it was or it was asking for the tip and i thought i was supposed to put in my pin and my pin starts with an eight four digits

so i ended up tipping this guy for a five dollar ride like 80 something dollars because i was too drunk to realize i was putting in my bank pin, and that was the tip that I gave him. It must have been a good ride. It was a great ride. It was lovely. Corey Rutledge came out with a new movie. Yes, it's on Amazon Prime. He's acting in it, too.

What? He has a main role in it. That's sick. And he's a producer as well. Smutledge? Yeah. He's been a producer for six years. That's awesome. He's got a good eye for that kind of stuff.

Six years? It's called The Blacklight. It's like Lord of the Rings meets Snatch. I want to make a movie. How? Michelangelo here. I figured that part out. He's always working on them.

It seems damn hard to make a movie. It looks pretty crisply shot, though. Yeah, it looks crispy. Yeah, it looks good. This guy is as boring as cardboard. He's an archaeologist or something. Yeah, it looks crispy. Yeah, it looks good. You got a British guy? Yeah, this is insane that he did that. Budger must have been crazy.

Is that him? Yeah. He's just teasing. No, he's funny. I kind of want to tease his face. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not going to be necessary. All right?

Because we're all friends here, right, guys? And we're going to be making each other a lot of money. Some wish to feed it, but it can never be filled. It only grows brighter and brighter. I can't believe they got a British guy. Through every pull, burning all that it touches. He got a close-up? Our family has always

and will always fight to starve it. And that is why that box must never, ever be opened with us. I gotta know what's in that box. Oh, damn.

I didn't know it was looking like this. Lighting looks crazy. Holy shit. Is he fucking? Is Rutledge fucking? Did he give himself a sex scene? He wrote it. Rutledge, get in here.

Are you fucking this movie? Yeah. Yeah, I wrote it myself fucking. When you're making a movie, you never know when you're going to be able to do it again. Yeah, you want a Jim Florentine. I mean, you know. Scene calls for a sex scene. I'm going to do it.

That's my Rutledge. That's damn good. Damn, that looked good as fuck. Are you going to watch it? Of course. I don't know if I can watch them fuck. I'm going to skip straight to the fuck. That's all I'm watching.

That's so sick. Someone's got to rip the fuck scene and put it online. Throw it on the hub. Throw it on Mr. Skin. It's two hours. That's good movie length. I already want to Google just what's in the box I always spoil movies for myself

is he the first name is he the most famous person in the movie where is his ass is he not here is he not around he's fucking right now he's probably fucking I just want to run the scene back one time

the movie's out dude I think we can do better it's live the director's cut no he's circumcised yeah the director's on oh god god bless Rutledge

so yeah go check out his movie. Buy tickets to the Dozen. Definitely watch that. Oh, here he is. Here he is. Yep. Yay. Corey.

Now, Corey. What? We just watched the trailer. Yeah. Did you... Did you... What? I'm not going to...

Go ahead, ask him, Nick. No, I'm not going to... Best ask in the office. Just don't tell Blatman. Did you... Did you fuck in this movie? Oh, no. I fucked a lot.

You fucked a lot? The movie? Hell yeah. You wrote that yourself? No. My buddy, Nick Snow, Brooks Russell, they wrote it. Nick directed it. I helped produce Brooks Russell, they wrote it. Nick directed it.

I helped produce and I acted it. Only the fucking scenes? I wrote the fucking scenes. Did they change the scripts? How does the fucking scene work? You have a fluffer? The fucking scene works where you use a sock sometimes. That's it.

Clever camera angles, yeah. Like, big sock. Did you know the girl? It was an actress. She was lovely. Again, it was very tasteful how we did it, but... You had her slammed against a wall. Oh, that's the second fucking scene. That's two fucking scenes.

Oh, so that one's not tasteful. Why the fuck have you written me one of these for Rediscovering? We're going to have some fucking scenes in Rediscovering. Next season, nudity galore okay yeah well you see you put a just a uh you're completely naked and put a sock on your dick i believe and she's completely naked she there is some nudity that's quick uh but man wait how many they see your butt you might see my ass take uh takes i don't know if you see my... How many takes? That was shot in Rockford. We didn't ask where. We didn't ask where, you dog.

Illinois. Rockford, Illinois. Yeah, well, we shot in L.A., Rockford. We shot in Philly. We shot... I mean, this was over six years. Rockford doesn't really fit in the... Where did you shoot?

L.A., Philly, Rockford. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to throw some names out. Don Hatton, Dastard Media that's where they're located they've been trying to make some more movies there so they've been awesome I'm plugging everything

yeah you are the joke also is people are looking for it they're like Liam Neeson's in your movie I'm like no dude they stole our title of our film during the pandemic and we couldn't release ours because we needed more money and everything Liam Neeson came out with a movie called blacklight right

when we've had our movie out for like it was like being uh marketed we were waiting for the pandemic and shit liam neeson released a movie called blacklight like overlapping uh on us and so everyone's asking me i was like no so we had to add the to our film which is a total fucking bullshit makes no sense now. I don't know who you are, but you fucking stole our title. Yeah, dude. You didn't. I have a very specific set of words.

If you guys had to fuck, if you guys had to like, would you get hard? I told you I'd get hard for just a minute. You're surrounded by people. No, I've heard it on Howard. They had someone who was like, yeah, I was very hard and on the verge of busting, and we had to do many takes. They had to tape his dick.

That'd be me. His boner to his dick. Howard? It was on Howard Stern, yeah. It wasn't him. They had to tape me for an ultrasound on my nuts when I was in high school, because they knew.

Did you fuck? No, I didn't fuck, but you get warm goo when you're nuts. In one of the episodes of High Maintenance, there's like, they follow an intimacy director or something like that. Someone who, like, in the movies, like, makes sure that everyone's cool

with the fucking that's going on and, like, puts the pillow between the penis and the vagina. Yeah. Is that a job that is on? Did you guys have an intimacy? So we had a closed set, but yeah, I mean, you're surrounded right off camera. There was like 10 people around me.

So it's like, if you see the movie, please watch it. It's very clearly like a comedic scene, what's going on. But yeah, it wasn't very sensual. There's nothing sexy about it when you see what I'm doing. There's nothing sexy about the fucking. Yeah, it's unsexy fucking. when you see what I'm doing. There's nothing sexy about the fucking. Yeah. It's unsexy fucking. She looks nice. I look horrible.

And I had a if you remember I had a mullet for like a solid year here. Oh yeah. Yeah. I had the lines on the side. Yeah. That's all I knew it was you fucking. Yeah. Well you know how I fuck. I do. Yeah. That guy stole Corey's weight. It's the same rhythm.

Goddamn. A-A-B-B. Oh, nice, thanks. Yeah. That's nice. And in real life. Clip this. And in real life, and in real life.

Yeah, well, you know, every now and then. Wow, you kind of are. Just point down to it, and we'll clip it as a still frame photo that you can put on your Instagram grid. Yeah, maybe you get, so I think this would be a better Instagram header or a Twitter header, so maybe a way. Should I hold it? How do I hold it? Yeah, hold it

like a dick. Hold it like a dick. The Washington Monument. Can you put it right there? I'll put it off this way. Yeah, that's pretty good. Oh, yeah, shrink her down. Nope, nah, keep it the same. Yeah, that looks cool. Get your hands really wrapped around it right there. I'll put it off this way. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, shrink her down. No, keep it the same. Yeah, that looks cool. Get your hands really wrapped around it. Yeah.

Yeah. Love technology. Oh, my God. Yeah, let me pick that up. Oh, good form, my boy. I'm in a bust. Good form. In my movie.

Somebody cup the Corey this is the peak of my movie creating existence it got stuck in my movie title your movie is gayer than Billy Eichner's movie okay wow thanks Corey the black light please go watch it I really appreciate it the black light

the Liam Neeson movie. I'm going to go watch Blacklight and hope you're in it. Yeah, thank you, though. Appreciate it, guys. Congrats. I'm going to live tweet. Appreciate it, guys. I'm going to watch Blacklight tonight and live tweet it and be like, where the fuck is Corey?

Or if you're just like, this is the best movie I've ever seen. This is the wrong one. Or he's fucking Liam Neeson. Great yak, boys and girls. Good. A dozen tomorrow. If you want to come out and see us. Matt, Philly, we're going to be here for the Yak

and then we're going down to Philly. I'm going to go. I'm going to go in the audience and cheer, I think. I think I want to go. Which team are you going to cheer for? That's going to be tough to say. I'll decide when I get there I guess I'll see what the vibe of the audience is you don't share the yak yeah you're off the yeah we're gonna say oh then

let's see yak what the fuck maybe get get on someone's shoulders yeah you should okay I'll do that then I'll do that otherwise you're dead to us alright see ya okay It's the act. It's your drug, the act, the style, the game, the world.

It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee pop. It's the act. It's the act. See you tomorrow.