The Yak - The Hawk Tuah Girl Has Us Spinning | The Yak 7-9-24

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

No Cat, No WalkerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. The Yak. July 9th. Happy birthday, Tom Hanks. Oh. 68.

Happy death day. Not so happy death day. Happy death day. Rip Torn. Rip Torn from Dodgeball Mook. He played Patches O'Houlihan. Wait, he died? Well, not today.

But he died on this day. I thought he was still kicking. I thought he was still around. Was that his real name? Rip Torn? Rip Torn. Okay. That's redundant. I was told I looked like him.

Elmore Ruel. But his last name is Torn That's a cool last name Yeah Oh he was old 2019 What's a good song Torn? I'm all out of faith

She had a thing with Styles He loves his older women Harry Styles? I think Styles and her had a little romp A tryst if you will. That's my favorite. Is it a genre or a type of music that used to be released? MILF music.

MILF music, yeah. Lisa Loeb and Michelle Branch. Bedingfield. Bedingfield. Was she also Natasha? Is that her name? Yeah. Yes, Natasha Bedingfield.

Natasha, Natalie, Sher? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, Natasha. Yeah. Natasha, Natalie. Sheryl Crow. Yeah. It's good stuff. Good shit. Rowback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. 20% off swim trunks, performance shorts, polos, Kodiak.

Rowback.com. Nice. Oh, shit. Remember when we thought we were going to lose Tom Hanks? Titus and Birkenstocks. I haven't. You haven't. Influenced. Yeah. Oh, shit. Remember when we thought we were going to lose Tom Hanks? Titus and Birkenstocks? I am influenced. Yeah.

I was in Colorado. I put them on. Now I'm addicted. They're great. Yeah. I was walking by a shoe store, and then everybody's wearing the Birks out there. And I was like, I got to get me some. You're like the first in Chicago to do it.

Yeah. I like them on you. I'm looking around the room. Nobody else is wearing Birkenstocks. Fuck. Yeah. I like them on you. I'm looking around the room. Nobody else wearing Birks socks. Fuck! Yeah, so if you see anyone wearing Birks moving forward. No socks either. Just letting it all hang out. No, I don't fuck with socks and sandals.

No. Some people do, but... Is that Indian man with the long fingernails still alive? There's no way. Which one? The Guinness man. Yeah. I bet you it's still an Indian man in first place.

It always was. But not that guy. Couldn't have been. That was from like the original 90s book that everybody kept in their bathrooms. And the image of him like haunts me still. It was before they even went to like hardback, I think. That's when the Guinness was. Remember they were all tied together?

Were they tied together? I think so. Was there a second place? Is there like a guy who was going for that? A book of world records that's second place Would be awesome It wasn't that, it wasn't the picture It gave me something to do

That isn't actually something to do, you don't have to do anything There are other people A guy grew out his nails And then surely I have the longest fingernails And then Guinness was like no no, you don't, actually. You're in second. How good would that feel once they get cut off? How does he...

Oh, his fingers are... His hands are fucked. How does he, like, walk around with that? Does he have, like, a bag? Like, a purse? I think he does have, like, a purse. What's the motivation? Because I remember Steve-O did, like, a beer ski down him, right?

Yes, he did. Right. The motivation. Oh, God. Steve-O did like a beer ski down him, right? Yes, he did. The motivation. Oh, God. Steve-O's getting titties right now, isn't he? He got a dick tattooed on his face. Yeah, but I think he's getting breast implants. I think he's getting big tits. Just for the fun of it?

Yeah, I think so. Steve-O, sober Steve-O is getting breast implants? Yeah. Is he transitioning or just? No, no. He's also very long in the tooth, literally. His teeth are long. What?

His long chompers. Something I noticed about him. Can I see a picture? Him and Agatha Christie. Long teeth. I did hear that a lot. I've heard about that a lot. Why do I?

Yeah, I've just seen her. Yeah, yeah. Not pretty. No, she's ugly. Yeah. Yeah, that's the word. a mystery there oh no yeah two long-toothed people he's gonna dick on his face he already does he already did he has a dick yeah he was completely sober and got a dick tattooed i think it's coming over his eyebrow it's more sad now that he's sober. It's a little tough. And the titties. Why is he getting titties? Yeah, decup.

Breast augmentation. Chris Pontius is gonna fuck him. That's crazy. The guys don't want to do stunts anymore, so the most recent jackass was just dick stuff. Let's flatten the dick. Let's roll our dicks. So he's doing this for a joke yeah it is funny it is funny you know he's gonna have a few months as a guy with titties fuck you steve-o you think he's appropriating yeah

male titty yeah you gotta fucking earn that shit is that funny yes uh a guy with it's like at his age it's like that's i think that's the problem like if steve-o steve-o was 24 and did that's funny that's very funny titus if you showed up with double d's tomorrow i'd laugh my ass off if you did it would be fun well titus that would be awesome but steve-o i think if he did it early jackass we would be like that was the best jackass stunt yeah yes but now it's just like oh now it's a little yeah a little goofy no it's funny it's a man getting titties big fake perfect fake titties it's funny yeah the picture of them it's going to be very funny who the fuck are we you're right yeah how are we to say that's not funny that's fucking let's let's top tier it's hilarious let's take a step back yeah what have we become if that's not funny no big gleaming oh it was post malone tattoo also steve-o's fiancee is like smoking

hot so that makes everything he does the balls are weird uh oh he's doing stand-up right that's bad that's atrocious that's's not good. That's not funny. That isn't funny. He has a dick tattooed on his face. That's funny. Get off the high horse, boys. But I feel like a man has had to have, as a joke, gotten titties before. He's not the first.

I think he might be the first one, dude. That's like an intense, when you don't have anything to work with. I think they have to stretch him out first dude. That's like an intense, when you don't have anything to work with, I think they have to stretch him out first. It's going to be a lot. He's a lean guy. Surely somebody has, yeah. Somebody's had to have gotten titty.

But as a joke? Yeah, because there's no way a doctor would do it. I think titties are funnier than getting a BBL as a guy. No. Both funny. That's hilarious. Both funny. Who's doing that? A man getting a BBL as a guy. No. Both funny. That's hilarious. Both funny. Who's doing that? A man getting a BBL?

Are dudes doing that? I hope so. Show up with an extremely tight, large ass. Steve-O just bimbifies himself. That would be amazing. Yeah. Hilarious. Lips, ass, tits.

He's got it all. It'd be funny if one of you came in with lip filler. That's pretty temporary, isn't it? Yeah, you can get it dissolved How do they dissolve it I think they inject something else I think guys do do that Oh yeah big time

Shit Who has work done here None of us right I'm about to get my throat done You're about to have the smoothest throat That's going to feel so good for me. No, I'm kidding. What the fuck? The tightest throat. Is that

an elective surgery or is that like, what does that classify as? The throat surgery. That's actual medical. It's a medical procedure. But that's necessary, right? It isn't necessary, but it's very helpful. Are you paying out of pocket? I'm going to have to. This is crazy. That's what I mean.

That's crazy. My insurance doesn't cover it. The insurance companies look at that like you're getting fake tits. It's the equivalent of fake tits. Yeah. Are you going to be able to burp now? That's going to happen, yeah. Oh, wow. You're going to be able to drink alcohol while you're just, it's the equivalent of fake tits. Yeah. Are you going to be able to burp now? That's going to happen, yeah. Oh, wow.

You're going to be able to drink alcohol while you're eating. You're going to be able to drink drinks while you're eating. Carbonated beverages. That's going to be a blast. It's going to be so fun. It's going to be monumental. I never realized like this is a big burden. Are you going to be a beer guy?

I don't like the taste of beer, so no. But I like like Prosecco sparkling drinks the like I'm really excited for you thank you what's the most underrated Tom Hanks role what's the funniest

Tom Hanks role I need to see a list of the movies should we tier Tom Hanks movies? No. Not with fucking TJ. He'll do the man with the one red shoe in S tier. That was his big flop, right? He played Giuseppo in Pinocchio.

Who's Pinocchio? That's right. Geppetto? Giuseppe. I don't know. Oh, I watched Big. You're a big guy. Yeah.

Is it good? I've never seen it. Good movie. Check it out. Has Tom Hanks ever made you guys LOL? Has he ever? David S. Pumpkins. Yeah.

Yeah, David S. Pumpkins. In film, has he ever made you LOL? I'm trying to think. No, he plays pretty stoic characters. No, he plays goofy characters. Forrest Gump? Forrest Gump. Yeah.

I laughed hard at Forrest Gump. Yeah, that made me laugh. When nobody would let him sit down on the bus. Oh, that was kid. That wasn't Tom Hanks, though. How old was... When was Forrest Gump come out? 94?

Was that in 94? Yeah, it was like seven years. I found that funny. I watched Forrest Gump and probably laughed my ass off. Is there a funny toy story moment? Was Woody funny as fuck? Woody was never funny. He wasn't funny. Woody was a buzzkill. Which is funny because

he was a buzzkill. DJ, pull up that to your list. Was that Man with the One Red Shoe an S? What the hell is that? Son of a bitch. What's that? It's his worst movie. Man with the One Red Sh is funny one of the few movies i couldn't finish what's the premise it's it's a man i didn't even get to the fucking shoe okay i don't even remember watching it so quick time out my dad texted me just now

and he said you can tell the yak how great your dad's birthday was yesterday lol uh i forgot how great oh you forgot your dad's birthday happy birthday dad and he told you yeah now he waited oh no call him that hurts my heart you should give him a call yeah it should happy birthday dad if you're watching i love you i'm sorry he seems like he's taking he's like he'll be okay he's joking about it or he's serious there's a lot of emojis like the crying laughing emoji oh that's sarcastic how many be okay. He's joking about it or he's serious? There's a lot of emojis, like the crying laughing emoji. Oh, that's sarcastic. How many?

How many? Oh, he's torn. Four and then three cakes. Oh. Did you spend time with him in Jersey? Was it like a pre-celebration? A little bit. Oh, no.

Oh, Kate. Oh, man. Okay. Happy birthday, Dad. You forget your parents. No. Ever. No?

Okay. No. No. I can't say. But I would usually get a text from my sister, my mom. Yeah forget your parents. No. Ever. No? Okay. No. I can't say. But I would usually get a text from my sister, my mom. Yeah, I've been warned. There was no warning. Thanks a lot, Mom.

I can't be expected. I'm only 30-something years old. I can't be expected to do that. Tom Hanks, huh? Yeah. What a guy. He's been in a bunch of stinkers. He's on like a 10 film skid, right?

Has he? What's he been in lately? Man Called Otto, which was just kind of a ripoff of St. Vincent. Totally. I like the Chet Hanks clip of him describing how Tom Hanks sent him to one of those military schools. I don't recall that. He talked about it, I think, on the Adam Friedland show. Are we allowed to talk about Chet on this show?

Oh. Why not? Have we almost gotten legal issues? Yeah. Oh. So be it. I'm sure we're cool now. Let's call him and ask.

Yeah. Oh, that's what we did. He went to one of those encampments where they drag you out of your bed at four in the morning. The Paris Hilton camps. Yes. Yeah. I mean, you gotta be a fucked up dude to send your kid there.

No, not if your kid's about to... I would do it if my kid was a fuck. You think so? Yes, for sure. What's the success rate with those, though? Chet seems to be good. Yeah, he turned out great. Chet is killing it.

Happy birthday, Tom Hanks. I thought he was going to die. I did. When COVID happened. When he was in Australia with Rita. At the beginning stage we thought, in my head it was like a deadly plague. It was. I thought his eyes, like a horrific

like your skin's coming off. Oh yeah. I thought his eyes, like a horrific, like your skin's coming off. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought his eyes were going to pop out and bleeding out of his mouth. Yeah. The pandemic is a strong word. It is a strong word. But a lot of people did pass. Singer of Fountains of Wayne.

Joe Diffie. God damn. Yeah. Joe Diffie, they got him. John Prine, I think they got. No. Yes,ie They got him John Prine I think they got No Yes that's right John Prine got it

Yeah God damn Yeah What other celebs Rick Torn Herman Cain Remember that guy Oh yeah Herman Cain

That was kind of funny Herman Cain was like Yeah he was like Wasn't he like a COVID Denier like yeah like covid's not real i'm not scared then he got caught he was the uh the that one picture is like what are you gonna do stab me man he got stabbed what's kobe gonna do kill me and then he was he a presidential candidate yes i think i made you guys watch one of my favorite ads of all time political ads it's just like a 30-second ad.

It's just him out like behind an alley just smoking a cigarette. And it just slowly zooms in on him. And then it's like Herman Cain. I don't remember that. That's the best ad I've ever seen. I would vote twice for him. Yeah. That's great.

Oh, man. What else we got going on? I don't know. Feeling like an old lonely lady. Yeah? Where's my cat cat where's my walk good fucking shit yeah good fucking shit you can delete that from the notes the notes app just got a little bit lighter i actually have three derivatives of that one. All right.

Do it again. No, no, there's the way there could be, there could be, hold on. I think that was the best possible delivery. You forgot about Che.

How are you going to work? Oh, no shit. shit, man. No. I think we found the guy that looked like Che on the bear, by the way. We found him? Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, he's probably a local. Let's see him. Okay. Looks like Kyle yeah alright damn this shit's tough I slept in my bed the other night alright we find the guy yeah I don't think we did find the guy

yeah do we find the chick that was running I don't think we did find the guy. Do we find the chick that was running from the cops? I'm not going to show you guys. Oh, he's handsome. Yeah. Bobo Zhang, 707. Let's follow him. Yeah, that's a good looking guy. How'd you find him?

Bobo Zhang, 707. Oh, he did the thing. Oh. I found him. Side quest up here. Yeah, he's funny. Made Hulu history. Yeah, so that was really cool.

I just graduated. Wait, that's him? Yeah. See you guys next year. What? See us next year? I can't tell if who's who, but he looks like he's aged. Ladies.

Yeah, he looks like Henry Golding. Look at that jawline. He's a handsome guy. That's a good-looking man. This is hot Che? Hot Che. Yeah. We need to hire him.

It's a hot Che summer. We got funny Che and hot Che. Ripper Chang. Golly. Should we try to hire him. It's a hot Che summer. We got funny Che and hot Che. Purple Shang. Golly. Should we try to get him here? Like right now? I don't know if it would be the hardest thing in the world. He has 599 followers.

Yeah. I think it would be pretty easy. Gypsy Rose is pregnant. Oh my God. I saw that. Gypsy Rose. Yes. And it's with, I think, the weird ex-husband now guy.

The one who is lost in the fridge. The less attractive one.-husband now guy. The one who was lost in a fray? The less attractive one. Yeah, the bigger guy. The big boy. Yeah. It's with him? I think so. Because she got a new young stud.

I know, but I think it's with the other guy. No kidding. That's what I heard. That's what the gals upstairs are saying. Does she have a television show? I trust their gossip. I believe so. Or one's in the works or something.

So, yeah. What's she been doing? Like partying and stuff? Yes. She got, so after she left her husband, she got back with an ex and they like went out in the town and Louisiana and got matching tattoos and they were like living it up. And now, but now she's pregnant. With the other.

With I think the first, that's what they said. And I believe their gossip. Hmm. So. Tangled web we weave. It's her and the Hawk Tua girl for the biggest female influencer right now. Yeah. Are they doing a documentary about her? There's all kinds of.

Apparently she's going to do a stand-up tour. And then a reality show. Okay. She has an agent. I hope it never ends i hope yeah i hope uh my my first instinct was like all right we've i've seen enough i don't need any more and then i uh uh switch was flip where i was like i actually i want everything i want i want the full-length documentary i want i do want her to go on tour where she just says hawk to into a the place it goes crazy

she's like thank you and walks off and that's all she does I would pay yeah through game time and get a ticket to go see it

yeah I would love yeah I want her to I want her to run for president just a spit fest Hak Tua

like it's infiltrating every crevice of pop culture and culture I went to the NASCAR on well you were there too but outside of

it they were selling instead of nascar shirts there was a guy just selling a ton of hawk to his shirts dude i was watching porn last night and it was in the ad before the porn what did you mean for what it was like her voice saying hawk to it and then like a house remix of like are you jerking off alone it was like uh it was the scariest moment of my life i was like this is real this is in it's everywhere this is on porn hub right now what the fuck is happening yeah she's like in like the corporate world too like it's not just internet people no it's that's who finds her the most funny yeah they'll say it like like we're getting comments on our tiktok just be like this guy

needs a hawk to her and then it gets like a thousand likes. Yeah, what is the demographic of the person that's like, you could just say the words Hawk 2a to right now, they're like, Jesus Christ. Accountants. Yeah, I can't believe you said that. Oh, there she is. Oh, yeah.

Well. Wow, we. I love it. I want her to be the biggest celebrity on Earth. Ain't that America? Oh, mother of the free. Dude, a Hak Tua reference is killing in a Slack channel or a Gchat right now. Slack channel.

Yes. Hak Tua has probably been slacked a trillion times. Yeah. I'm going to need you to Hak Tua on this assignment right now. I don't think it's in high schools or middle schools. I don't think they're doing it. I don't think high school for sure. You do.

Yeah. But I agree that I think older people find it funny. Yeah. I see it as an older people thing too. Yeah. Yeah. I think high schools were doing it immediately and then they probably moved on. Yes.

They're already on. I think they've moved on. I think it's the old people that are. She was wearing a Tua jersey. Just moved on. Yes. They're already on to the next. I think they've moved on. I think it's the old people that are... She was wearing a Tua jersey. Just got it. Okay. Yeah, she's good. She's damn fucking good.

We got to get her that AJ Hawk jersey. At first, I was bitter and jealous, as is my inclination normally. But now, I'm with Titus. I want it to never end, yeah. But I don't want... To be clear, I don't want any sequels. I don't want to be clear I don't want any sequels I don't want any other I don't want any other

material from her I don't want her to launch like a fashion brand or anything else I just want her to just show up and just be like Huck to just literally say Huck to a contest I want a weekly podcast where it's just her saying that Huck to a yeah and then it's done an ad

an ad Huck to a and then they're going to have an ad break she has a different guest on every show her saying that. And then it's done. An ad. An ad. Hey, Hawk. And then they're going to have an ad break. She has a different guest on every show. The guest never talks. Welcome back. Boom.

All right, now back to the show. And then the outro. Yeah. And then there's chapters on the Spotify where you can pick out what you want to hear.

Yeah. Someone in the comments is like, fast forward to 425. talk starts at 250. yeah she's got that she's got to do it yeah i mean do you think she's she's got to be making money right oh big time like her job right i think so and they are setting her up for i saw her tiktok posted like this long it was like a documentary of like the drone it was like drone over her small town

it's like she's from blah blah they're interviewing locals like yeah we're real protective of her she's our star you know we're from a humble whatever they're like really setting up her like background now and like yeah she's on that green welcome sign with like the state champion yes like honest to god that was like the vibe from the video was like like yeah my buddy uh dan carney tweeted this but imagine being the guy that got the the hawk to her and nobody believes them you know i'm the one that is she speaking of a specific incident i thought she was just giving advice but i mean i've probably given it because she's had to it because the guy's gotten the Hawk Tua. If you're the receiver of the Hawk Tua, the original,

it's like being the first to get the Gluck Gluck. Well, the guys that interviewed her that got Hawk Tua out of her are actually speaking out. Oh, yeah. Who are those guys? They want more attention, too. No one gives a shit. We're the ones that asked.

They're the ones who made her. Yeah. What were those guys doing? want more attention too no one gives a shit we're the ones that was who made her yeah yeah what were those guys doing they were asking probably just like what's your what's your blow job technique i don't i don't even know what those guys said that is like a nashville thing i got asked a few interview questions when when we were in nashville last there's a lot of tiktok you know trying to get vulgar shit out of you when you're drunk. Yeah. I don't think I've ever been asked. I've been in a lot of them. 1.1 million.

Oh, my God. This is it. It's a little small area near Lewisburg. Am I losing my mind? This is insane. She's very famous. This feels like it's 10 years ago. Because we're in an era of widespread short video sharing.

I know what it's never is. There's probably a million of these type of things a day. Granny Jane. I'm so proud of her. I was working a humble nine to five. No talk shows. I was just Haley. I never could have. I was just Hley I never could have

I was just Hayley It's gonna be a military homecoming What? Yeah Oh I used to She's talking about Spitting on a hard cock What is he saying?

What is Jason saying? She's got the high school game She's doing She's going to the high school She's on the high school field Look they's going to the high school. She's on the high school field. Look, they all went into protection mode around her, he's saying. They're all protecting her. I love it.

I can't get enough. She got the Hawk Tua from me a long time ago. I thought the Hawk Tua was when a guy spits on your pussy. No. That's what I took it as. She's like, a guy's got to give you the did i misunderstand oh yes yes isn't that a naturally lubricating orifice i thought she was saying when a guy has to it he's just like let's go oh pardon me oh where have you been oh no no no no i thought

she was a feminist icon oh no it's amazing we were talking like spitting on somebody is the most derogatory mean thing you can do except when it's on a dick yeah yeah she's it's probably a gigantic uptick and like girls who feel like an inclination to do that now which don't feel pressure yeah don't thanks no she was saying yeah you got to give him the hawk too is what she's oh i thought she was saying, yeah, you got to give him the Hawk 2 is what she said. Oh, I thought she was saying when a guy gives you the Hawk 2. No. Guys wouldn't. What, Kate?

That meme would have been dead on arrival. That would have got like 141 likes. You want to see a video of a girl who likes to get eaten out? And I'm like, eh. You want to see a video of a girl who wants to suck your dick? And I'm like, yeah. Sure. Yes, I will watch that. Does she spit on it from, like, you want to see a video of a girl who wants to suck your dick? And I'm like, yeah, sure. Yes, I will watch that.

Does she spit on it from, is she accurate or does she flip it to like corn on the cob buttering kind of? You'd have to turn it sideways for that. I don't know, we'll find out

in episode two of the documentary. Oh my God. They do a sports science on it. John Brink is here Breakdown So the launch angle is very We're so late to the game on this too It feels so old

I don't think we're late, I think we're early to the game I think we have the next 5-7 years of Hawk Tua content Kyle We're still in the preliminary stages Does your dad know what Hawk Tua is? He's got to. Yeah, absolutely. I asked my mom and she Googled it.

She was like a spitter of some sort. She didn't go that far, but she wasn't aware of it. Does she have a Wikipedia? I'm going to troll Pat and really Hawk a nasty loogie. A snot. Just looked her up, never heard of her. I don't have TikTok. She's a spitter of some sort.

Yeah. That's correct. That's actually good news. Kate, you're gonna blow a snot rocket on me. I'm gonna, hold on. That's too much. I mean, in order to hawk,

that's why... You do. You have to... I don't know. We'll see where this goes. It could work out. I think it might work out. Kudos to her for not having a controversy. Because usually, there's always something.

Oh, yeah. No racist shit. I mean, there's always something that is Oh yeah. No racist shit. There's always something that is wrong. Oh the newsletter. The newsletter. Wait what's her website? What could be on her website? Look how wholesome she's so wholesome.

Wholesome? Oh my god. The merch says blowjob. Oh my god. you get it queen did she make this up though no she just said it was like already a thing down there like it's just because she has the accent she was just she was saying you gotta the merch is fire it is it's good's good shirts. Southern. Hot too. Good on her for, I guess, like capitalizing. The newsletter. Wait, is there like an about me?

I want the newsletter. I got J-Lo's newsletter. How's that? Pretty boring. Yeah. The hat's sick. Oh, man. She's good.

Snapchat. TikTok, Instagram. So there's no real words. I'm signing up for the newsletter. I'm still reeling. I can't believe you thought it was the opposite. That's straight up goofy.

Yeah, it's pretty goofy. It's goofy. So what does Zach Wilson do, Kate? Zach Wilson is a football player. He's a quarterback. Nothing else. Okay, if you'd like the tea. Remember, he was dating Abby something from BYU. and then they dated from high school all the way

through okay as mormons do as mormons do then they kind of scrubbed each other off their social media and then his roommate from byu gilkey or something like that dax dax milinsky dax milinsky he posts a cryptic it's you don't see her face but he's like uh like look at us now and it's her so broncos quarterback guy who was roommates with the commander's wide receiver guy wide receiver guy's dating his ex-girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend because somebody commented on their hard launch post was like you're a homie hopper and she was like how's this for homie hopping zach wilson is banging his best his mom's best friend i remember oh yeah i remember i remember him fucking a mother so now that girl who said that is engaged to his old roommate from byu

wow and they got engaged only a week after zach wilson got engaged i'm bad at explaining things his best friends make sense in my head oh shit but like exactly one week later and i think these fellas have a type i feel like a utah dude waiting until like 25 to get married is a little bit it's like an old hag yeah yeah but i don't know if zach wil's Girl fiance is Mormon So he's engaged? So he got engaged last week And then his ex-BYU roommate Exactly a week later got engaged To his ex-girlfriend

I think that Are you guys aware of the Kyle Filipowski situation? Yeah She was in the office That's right Wait is this the older woman yeah his babysitter went to prom with her that is got her master's degree and then

went to but what we're not going to do is shame 24 year olds for going to prom so kyle how kyle quick question what we're not going to do yeah i guess the only time it would be fine to go to prom as an older guy is if your best like your buddy's sister hurt got dumped and she needed a date for prom i think that's the only except i wasn't 12 19 okay i don't want that to be in there were you uncomfortable at the prom when you were 19 yeah it was it would have been where you and i had to go like afterwards i had to go to like the high school gym with all the inflatables and joust and stuff put on the sumo suit

did you like put on a good face for her or were you just kind of like okay like this is um i i think i went to the dance floor. No, I jumped around for a little bit. Did you slow dance with her? Yeah, I think once. Okay, that's nice. You had to do that. Did you drink?

No. Wow. I know, that's why it was so bad. So, so bad. What did you two talk about? It was me, her, her brother, her brother and his so her brother was my friend okay i don't know i don't remember probably damn daniel yeah yeah damn daniel yeah uh should i tell boo to roll up? He DM'd me

Wait Bobo the Fuck yeah Right now Bobo is Stephen King Yeah you should tell him to roll up Oh the guy from the bear? Bobo Chang Fuck yeah

Did you DM him first? Yes What did you say? i said you're a legend yeah that's yeah good start and he said haha thanks boss and now i'm just gonna give him the address and tell him to pull up are we sure he's chicago that's a good question is he 707 what area code is that Kyle? I'm shocked you haven't tried to memorize these No I'm not a numbers guy

I hate numbers They're boring 707 Coastal Northern California San Fran He might be San Fran based I guess you would If you had a chance to be an extra in a Hulu show

I'd go do it I'd fly do it. I'd fly anywhere. Oh, yeah. Especially the bear. Especially the bear. He might live here now, though. Maybe he just grew up there.

He probably does. Yeah. He just lives here. Good point. My area code isn't Chicago. Neither is mine, I suppose. Yours is seven something. 317. 317. 317.

Indy. 610 or 215? 215. Your 610? 610. The whole state's 304 for us, right? Do you think the pride in area codes will exist for younger generations? Because you don't really outwardly type it.

It's not like a common. I went to high school with a handful of guys that had it tattooed. 3-0-4. Yeah, it's like a big deal. But then now when you trade numbers with someone, you just type the number in. You don't care about area codes. Numbers are kind of arbitrary.

Does the youth care about area codes? Your cell number is arbitrary. There was a whole Sex and the City episode about it. She got a new phone, new area code. Yeah, because people would say I'm from the blank. Yeah. 412. Remember the song?

I got hoes and different area codes. Miami's, they love the 305. Yeah. Yeah. Well, wait, what's 303 then? That's Colorado. Is that Colorado? Yeah.

But the band, they did that. 303, yeah. They were from Colorado? Yeah. They the band, they did that. 303, yeah. They were from Colorado? Yeah. They were Colorado. Good shit. Good shit. We're fucking cooking.

You guys see that? There's some basketball players that are obsessed with the interstates. Yeah. They'll get those tattooed. 76ers. Well, I guess that's 1776. Sure is. 76 highway.

Yeah. Kind of a big deal. Yeah, people are real's 1776. Sure is. 76 byway. Yeah. Kind of a big deal. Yeah, people are real prideful about like I-95. Yeah. People are. People are interstate people. People are exit people too. Oh, the Jersey Shore.

Forget it. Oh, yeah. What's Wildwood or Sea Isle? Sea Isle's 13. Exit 13. I think Wildwood's nine cape may zero they're real proud of that yeah real proud of that ours is wheeling island is exit zero and y'all remember wrong way perez from the braves right oh of course of course

missed the start because he kept circling i-285 in atlanta i showed up that minute. Is that how he got the nickname or was that beforehand? That was beforehand. They were like, this, yeah. That's the wrong way. You guys see the small town restaurant butt chug

thing? I saw on Twitter for a split second and scrolled past quickly. It was a guy putting a funnel in an ass.'ll send you guys the video of course pat had it oh yeah see um a small town in georgia is like losing their minds over it this group they're in a restaurant after it closed and the guy had a funnel and he tried to pour a whole margarita pitcher into the lady's butt she was having a good time. Would that kill you? That would probably kill you.

Luckily, he couldn't get the funnel in. Really? She was laughing too hard. He was like. Oh, she was about it? Oh, she was about it. She was laughing too hard for the funnel? But then, so then he did the face in the butt luge, poured the margarita down her butt crack.

But people are upset because it was a family restaurant. Yeah, not anymore. It's the whole thing. Yeah. okay yeah what's that neon videos like this always have the hell that was that's my photoshop oh sorry no it's good i can tell exactly what's a blog that said 8 30 yeah i have kids i'm up moving okay so I would have been confused if I didn't know where the chips were that's funny well the waiter comes over and you're like oh

the video is about to end now they're about to end instead the waiter's like you guys are nuts keep going may I say something out of line sure I was expecting a much bigger lady yeah yes I was expecting a much bigger lady. Yeah. Yes. I was expecting a big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big woman.

Yeah. A real train car of a lady. There was a guy that got titties for an 100k bet. Brian Zembik. He did it for $100,000. That's worth. Brian Zembik got titties. He kept them for multiple years even after the bet was over. That's a guy that wanted titties.

Remember when Rudy was like, if I lose this, I've got to get frosted tips. Everything. It was like these impossible tasks. He just wanted frosted tips. If I can't do this, I guess I'll get frosted tips. Brian Zembik wanted titties. He just wanted titties. Zembik wanted titties.

Zembik, if you want titties, go get them. I think too. I need to see what he looks like, but like, depending on the guy, if he stuck with his bat and he's funny and whatever, like not me,

but I can see ladies being like, yeah, go home with that guy. Yeah. Wait, that dude is from a something. He's the dude at the end of TV shows where it's like, yeah, I'll go home with that guy. Yeah. Wait, wait. That dude is from something. He's the dude at the end of TV shows where it's like, what?

Do you know what I'm talking about? No. Not at all. What's that? At the end of some specific network, there's a picture of him, and then there's like a little phrase. His nickname, The Wiz.

The breast pet. A high stakes gambler and magician. Canadian. Absolutely. Remember that? Is that him? No way. I was thinking this guy. Is that Zemba?

That's the dad of one of the guys who does. But yes, you're right. It does look like him. Is that from Nathan for you? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Cosmetic Surgeon was also a gambler. You love to see it. Yeah, that's Tim and Eric. Oh, New York City.

Oh, okay, yeah. Production company, absolutely. So they could have gotten Zembek. So did he play poker with T? Zembek is also a professional magician. Oh, The Man Show. Ripley's Believe It or Not. TJ, can we YouTube him? So did he play poker with titties? Zembik is also a professional magician The man show Ripley's Believe It or Not TJ can we YouTube him? I want to see Zembik's the legend

Mook DM him too I bet he pulled ladies though With titties? No way Some ladies do things for the plot And for a good story at brunch With titties? What do you mean? Yes. No way. Because of who he is? Women would be into the tits? Who would be into tits? Some ladies do things for the plot and for a good story at brunch the next day. And I'm just saying, that's an interesting guy. Why'd you say that? I don't know.

Hey, you're in the scene. I'm not in the scene. I don't want to pry, Kate. In your heyday, would you have gone home with a guy with fake titties? If he was hilarious. He is hilarious. He has fake titties. If he was hilarious. He is hilarious. He has fake titties. Yes, exactly.

Would you have done the fingernail guy? No, never. No, no, no. So when a friend came to him with a truly outrageous offer, he had to take him up on it. It was a bet he couldn't refuse. I was bet $100,000. I had to have breast implants as large as a girlfriend's of mine You heard it right

That's really funny Yeah, you can see the shimo is gonna be so funny so far Brian's had his implants for three years something about this guy for him To have them for one year. So yes, he's already pocketed the 100 G's. Oh, man. No, my breast got in my way. Oh, he loves it. He got it as

an excuse for golf. This is the happiest he's ever been. Oh, my breast got in the way. Money, anything to do with money to me is normal. In my world, anything we gamble at is normal. It's like a job, an everyday job. Life is a laugh. It's full of fun. Hell yeah.

Shout out Zembe. That's awesome. Yeah, that guy's cool. Is he still alive, do you think? Yeah. Yeah, he's one of those that stick around. Okay. Yeah.

That's the doctor, by the way. That was the doctor? Oh, God. Life is a laugh? Oh, man. I don't want my doctor to say, God. Life is a laugh. Oh, man. I don't want my doctor to say that. That guy became a surgeon just to see titties. This is the man who put Brian in a bra.

New York City cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Felix Schiffman. The two guys are, what else, gambling buddies. And how funny. Guess how they arrived at payment for surgery. I said, this is my fee. And we agreed on the fee. But by the time we got finished playing back. I said, this is my fee. And we agreed on the fee. But by the time we got finished playing back, I guess he got it almost for free.

Brian went under the knife. And after the surgery was over, this is what Dr. Schiffman told him. You've got beautiful breasts. Wow. Oh, that's so good. Do you think he got off on his own breasts? Yeah.

Probably. Yeah, for sure. I wouldn't stop touching them. Yeah. Is there a legal loophole where you can touch them for a certain amount of time? What do you mean? What? While they're still under your care, you're allowed to touch as much as you want?

Wait. Your own breasts? Your own breasts? Your own breasts? No, the surgeon's breasts that he's augmentating. Oh. Oh. Yeah, when does the surgeon have to stop touching the boobs? Right, that's a great question.

When the anesthesia wears off? Last stitch. Last stitch. Well, no, because you have to make sure they're not too swollen or too, you gotta make sure they're right. Has a surgeon ever stayed like a second too long that's what i'm saying yeah not on me the surgeons see like their clients out in miami and they're like let me just

i think it's just like they probably have like a like a pitch clock yeah there's yeah good question thank you he only had to have him for a year he kept him for three maybe does he still have them it says he was on an episode of botched going over concerns he was starting to have with them so he had him for a while he got them removed in 2016 after 19 years was he like using it as like a bar trick? Just like I bet you like I can grab a set of titties in five minutes. And then he would have did his shirt. Brilliant. It's like the

your name on my butt. Oh dude if I had tits like that like that I would let you guys feel them up. I don't know if I would. I wouldn't. I think I would. Thank you. Thank you. I love you and I appreciate you. Yeah. I'd let you guys feel them up. I don't know if I would. I wouldn't. I think I would. Thank you. Thank you. I love you and I appreciate you.

Yeah. I'd let you guys fuck them too, honestly. No, that would be gay. I think feeling your boys' titties aren't gay though. Would you flash? Oh yeah. I'd flash all the... I don't think I'd ever have a shirt on again if I had like actual supple... But like what's the public decency rule or an indecency going topless as a man with fake tits?

With fake tits. I think it has to be a bit. You have to have bit titties. It can't be a nice little perky set. Like really good titties. Yeah. I don't know what the rules are. Hooks in the playpen flashing boats of girls.

But could he go run shirtless with fake tits? Yeah, and if you're someone who thinks you should have the shirt on, you're basically telling the world that that makes you hard. Yeah. Yeah. Like, if you're someone that's like, you should cover those up. Why do they arouse you?

Yeah, why? Dude, put those away. Does anybody know a cop that we could call? Can we call? You do. I probably do. Oh, my buddy Josh. Mm-hmm.

That's a really good point. Because even a man who has like kind of boobs already can go topless jogging and he's fine yeah not on the inside no on the outside yeah yeah no but if you have like bitty like bit tits not bitty bitty? The difference is bitty tits are bitty. Bit tits are mass. Bit tits are huge. Yeah. But like say I didn't have tits at all

and I went jogging topless. That would be... Yeah, you'd be fine. I'd be fine. Kate, how offended would you be if you ran topless as a prank?

If Kate went streaking past cops, they're like, yeah, you're good to go. It's jogging by elementary schools. If you interrupted a soccer game or something. I was like, what? What's the deal here?

There's a shirtless man on the field right now. I wonder. Anybody else have a cop? My cop didn't answer yet. Do I have a cop? One of the't answer yet Do I have a cop? One of the security guards? I wonder if I still have Oh yeah the security guard's an ex-cop

If a guy Had fake titties would he ticket him? For public indecent How do you handle it? I have a cop Can I call my cousin Safety Tim? Safety Tim? We call him Safety Tim because he's a cop.

Did you guys play the game when somebody farted you had to say safety? Yes. That was fun. Safety. I'm glad that was up. You're glad it's over? I'm glad that was all over the country. Yeah.

Just us. How did you play? If you said safety, nobody could doorknob you. Yeah. And if somebody said doorknob, they could punch you until you touched the doorknob. That's it. How did that spread like that? It is staggering how many things spread without the internet.

It's impressive. Even on the internet before social media, when dudes would go viral via email chain. Remember the Tucker Max era? that's how he blew up what was your first taste of going viral kyle the craigslist but was it a blog or a tweet did you ever go tweet did you ever make anything that went i was blogging all that shit yeah and it until i started screenshotting the posts months later, they went viral. Okay. What's up? Hello.

Oh, sweet. Come take a seat. Hello, hello. Oh, hell yeah. Welcome. Yeah, yeah, anywhere you like. Yeah, anywhere. Right in the middle.

It's in the big chair. So you're a former police officer. Yes, I am. Here, can you pull that closer to you? Yes, I am. Here in Chicago? Correct. How many years?

30 years. Wow. Shoot. 30 years. You look great. Thank in Chicago? Correct. How many years? 30 years. Wow. You look great. Thank you. Thank you. So the question we have is, if a man got fake titties, big, perfect. Show him the man, TJ. Show him the man.

Yeah, give him a visual aid. This is important. This matters for the conversation he lost a gambling bet and so he had to get fake breasts and he did for a hundred thousand dollars oh he actually got fake breasts yes yeah sizable good breasts like not overly big but a good set. Tasteful. Correct. Tasteful Cs. If he went into public and flashing his breasts, would you take him, approach him? As a police officer on the scene. That's a very good question.

Thank you. There is so much has changed in the world in the last five years. And people identify obviously free the nipple uh uh in my personal belief i would say it'd be okay yeah okay yeah yeah but what if okay what if they were not like regular breast size what if they were uh bazoongas as the world has changed so much and as he is still a male

and still identifies as a male so they're just male teams I mean that's my opinion I don't know I mean our department in the last 4-5 years has rewrote everything with the transgender stuff

and what to do and how to identify and how to ask yeah it's changing by the day so guys get those boobs out if you want to run, dump them out free the nipple I got a West Virginia cop

Josh are you a bailiff right now? Alright, hold on. I got a West Virginia cop. Okay. Thank you. Josh. Hey, I take a shit, so I just call it at the same time. Are you a bailiff right now? Oh, by the way, you're live to tape. You're on the show. Then I'm peeing instead of shitting. Okay, cool. If a guy got fake titties and he was going for a run shirtless, would you ticket him? So he got fake titties.

Big fake titties. Went for a run uh instinct no damn okay no no verbal warning what kind of verbal warning what kind of verbal it depends what kind if they're you know if they're nice then i don't consider that indecent exposure i just consider exposure yeah okay okay so if they're bad titties within that yeah we might have something further all right cool all right man thank you there you have it see ya all right oh thank you thank you also in new york you got the naked cowboy yeah yes a cowgirl yeah that's right and then in europe you got the naked beaches

well europe everybody's just naked. Yeah. Everybody's showing everything. Interesting stuff. But thank you guys. Appreciate it. Alright, put boobs on the wheel. Somebody has to get titties. Somebody gets fake tits. It's gonna be Titus.

It's always me. I haven't gotten fake titties since we've been in this office. I'm always the one with the fake titties. Steve-O's going to get giant ones, though. Oh, big time. It's a D-cup, so. Yep. He's going to have to get skin grafts off his legs and stuff.

To get the skin? Yeah. He's going to have to do major. It's going to be funny. I can't believe you thought it might be funny. And Steve-O's gonna show him off we lost the plot for a second

yeah we did he's gonna make him so fucking funny anyway high noon moment everybody's been waiting for

is finally here the high noon pool pack is back grab a case text the group of your friends and go to the nearest pool it's only here for the summer so now's your time

to enjoy lime, peach, and two limited edition flavors, guava and kiwi. As always, the High Noon Pool Pack is made with real vodka and real juice, has 100 calories, is gluten-free, and no added sugar. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find a pack near you. Gladiator trailer came out. They gave away a lot. I didn didn't watch it but is it good are we excited about this i didn't know this was on the horizon is this the same as the original gladiator they're

just redoing the son of the of joaquin phoenix's sister in the show in the movie bad bad on me okay got it he was a little boy in the first one. Yeah. And I believe he grows up to be a gladiator. Okay. I don't remember the movie. Oh, it's amazing. Glad is it amazing for like the scenes and the epicness

or for the plot and the scenes. Joaquin Phoenix Prime Russell Crowe. In general, just like the things you would find good about a movie are good. Yes. There's boobs in it. Russell Crowe's in it? Russell Crowe's in the first one. I was going to say, he's only like

80 years old now. Denzel though. Now that you've been there, Nick, are you more excited for stuff like this? So yeah, I remember actually. I smoked a cig right there. I'm way more inclined to to buy it go to fandango so we bought tickets is that the website yep fandango also a wrestler yeah wasn't he good theme song i got the right i think it charted. Yeah.

Dude, he had a we should talk wrestling. We should talk big time. Didn't he was like the hottest fucking wrestler for like a month. Yeah. Just right. It was a wrestle.

It was the WrestleMania. I think in when WrestleMania was in New York, New Jersey. I could be wrong about that. But the pop when his

when his theme hit was so low. All you need is a good theme, really. Who are we talking about? The wrestler. The wrestler, Fandango. But it was just a real blip on the radar. Oh, his name was Fandango. What was his thing? He was a ballroom dancer, I think.

Or some sort of salsa dancer. I don't remember that song at all. Why was he called Fandango? I think that's the name of a dance. Yeah. His song charted like on the Billboard charts. Didn't Queen sing about it? I'm just a little boy from a Fandango.

Not like that. I thought that was like the movie theater app. I didn't know that was a wrestler. It's both. It's both. Both. And a dance. Yeah. Is it a dance?

What a fun one. The Fandango, yeah. Pretty sure. Well, there we go. Yeah, it's in Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah, I think. Lightning, very, very frightening. Fandango.

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, can you do the Fandango? Oh, there it is. Oh, yeah, yeah. Scaramouche, Scaramouche. Who's Scaramouche, Scaramouche. Yeah, is that a name? Are we allowed to say that song's just okay? Every time I hear that song, I think about how the fuck do you come up with this song?

It's crazy. I understand that artists are operating on a different plane than I am, but that's like a few steps. Even beyond. I think you have to be insanely fucked up on drugs. People say it's one of the greatest songs of all time. It's a good song. I've never listened to it alone in my headphones. No, I would never put that on.

It's a it-comes-on song. You just kind of leave it it on and you know it. But have you ever been the guy to touch tunes fast track it? Yeah. Like oh this one's mine. Nobody's proud of playing that one. Yeah. Wasn't it the most like expensive song ever made?

It may have been. I thought I read that at some point in my life. What did they use like ivory tusks? Yeah. Yeah they poached. All the production that went into making all that shit back in the day was very expensive

Freddie Mercury had like a vision and everyone tried to he's like I need help and then they would help him be like not like that shut the fuck I'm gonna do it myself that's a good song good song wasn't it Wayne's World? We Will Rock You.

Really brought it back. I used to listen to We Will Rock You. In like middle school. We Will Rock You is like, I did too. Who's playing that? Well, so it's in the new F1 trailer that Brad Pitt's in, and it's a little, I thought a little cringy to have. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah. It's just kind of on the nose. Yeah, I would listen to it before, like, soccer. No, no, we're doing, we're male-titting ourselves. We are the champions. I hate that. No, we're male-titting ourselves.

They rock. Yeah. The songs are great, but they've gotten to a point where they're more spectacles than Queen. They are. Enjoyable. Just in general? Queen has, no, Queen has songs I like, but.

Are you talking about, like, Jock Jams? Like the, uh, We Are the Champions. We Are the Champions, yeah. I like but are you talking about like jock jams like uh we are the champions we are the chance yeah I feel like once a rock song hits a car commercial um it's kind of like a lot of rolling stone song now are kind of ruined for me yeah that is that the band's fault they're just trying to make money they're making money I can't really blame them I feel like at some point like aren't you rich enough to be like, yeah, no thanks? I would do it.

You don't have to do anything. Yeah. Oh, I would absolutely do it. Yeah. Being like a rock band, the Bicycle song. Have you seen the music video for that? No. My son was obsessed with that song. that yeah it's like a it's

like a kid's first cycle so we were playing it on repeat on repeat on repeat and so i was like oh let's pull up the mute because i'll pull up music videos i'll put his little drums out and he'll like watch whatever and play and it's all completely nude people riding bicycles like completely nude and he didn't register it at all he was like whatever okay but uh yeah no that's also queen right yes that's all these songs are queen yeah they're all literally every song is And he didn't register it at all. He was like, whatever. Okay. But yeah, no. That's also Queen, right? Yes, that's Queen. All these songs are Queen. Yeah, they're all Queen. Literally every song is Queen.

It's naked women with long hair just riding around a track naked on bikes. Yeah. And that's the video. Which is like a trend now. Naked bike rides. That just happened here in Chicago. Yeah. A big naked bike ride.

Supposed to bring visibility to the bike. And then Mook threw a seat sniffing party right afterwards. I did, yeah. Good time. That was a good one. The apartment was full. All right, we go out and sniff them after the ride. Yeah, naked bike rides are chic.

I think what would keep me from it is the idea of like hitting a pothole and then being naked and being like getting the wind knocked out of me totally naked falling off a bike naked yeah now naked x games would rule triple x games oh my god yeah seeing tony hawk's 900 skateboard fucking dongerboard You know it's long but a little bit skinny Yes You see there's like a 12 year old TJ did you see He's just doing 900's

Yeah the X Games got ruined by kids That was a special move in the Tony Hawk I think last Olympics Like 13 year olds were were the medalists. Yeah. That's crazy. Is it just because their center of gravity

or something is low? What? So the kids just ruined it? Because the X Games were a thing back in the day. But the kids are good, right? Yes. Just as good as the adults

used to be. Yes. This is the first person ever to do three back-to-back-to-back 900s. What the fuck? They're nine years old. Is that Tony Hawk? Is he pissed?

What the fuck? And Tony Hawk doing the 900 was like the biggest deal. How old is this kid? Nine. That's like the one thing. I mean, he's known for a lot of things. Look how tiny he is. He's so small.

That was like Tony Hawk's identity forever. The board goes up to his clavicle. Shouldn't we be celebrating this instead of saying, oh, he ruined. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm curious. Like the attitude towards X Games. If this was any other sport and you had like prodigies that were nine years old. Right.

You'd be like, holy shit, this sport is fucking awesome. But it's a little scary how fast it's evolved then. Kind of like ruined the sport. Because Tony Hawk's first 900 blew people's minds and he like fell holy shit, this sport is fucking awesome. But it's a little scary how fast it's evolved then. Because Tony Hawk's first 900 blew people's minds and he fell after it, right? Is it like a physics thing? Like a nine-year-old's body? No, I think they're just getting better. I think this is happening across most sports.

That's people freaking out of him almost doing it. Tony Hawk's the coolest motherfucker. He's awesome. Yep. Bucky Lassick. What a name. Who's the freestyler? Like the famous skateboarder. Rondy Long. Those guys are cooler I think Daewon Song is the coolest wait did he do it did I miss it

yes he did yeah that's awesome and then a 9 year old does a 3rd grader 3 in a row that's crazy how fast is it because the sport was so new they didn't know they could do shit yet A third grader just did it. Three in a row. That's crazy how fast. Is it because the sport was so new they didn't know they could do shit yet? And now that people know it's possible, it's easier to do it? That probably, yeah, the evolution of sports.

I bet you UFC fighters will be insane in 20 years. But doesn't it seem fast? That went from Tony Hawk was the best because he did it once after three attempts to a kid doing it three in a row that looks pretty easily, and he's nine. Yeah, that's insane. Don't the U.S. gymnastics, or the Olympic gymnastics,

aren't there age requirements? Like, you can't be too young? I'm pretty sure there are. I think, or else there would be 12. Like, the Chinese would be sinning nine-year-olds. I think they do that. They still do, but they lie about it, for diving too diving is the same way skateboarding might be in that vein we're like yeah i think more technical less physical sports are going to be

you know that's kids dominate that puberty is the enemy of skateboarding i guess we just don't know how yeah uh center of gravity if you get too tall, wouldn't your balance be better than Titus's? Should we try it? Should we both try to do a 900? You guys both have to do a 900. Show ends when somebody does it. Mark, are you in the camp of

basketball is about to be dominated by younger and younger kids? I don't think younger kids, but I do think the kids, they're more freaks for sure. Right. They're definitely more. Like Victor Wimbinyama is like terrifying to me. I saw like a-

He's awesome, but he's also like, it's like- Scary. It's pretty fucking scary. Like what basketball is becoming of everybody. Is it because the coaching is getting better? Like what's- Kids are specializing more yeah like technique is evolving yeah the tech it's like like a guy like him when he was growing up

in the 90s and you you're already like head and shoulders taller than everybody they just park his ass underneath the basket and they teach him how to dunk and how to like turn and just shoot like baby hooks and now he's brought up like yeah you're super tall but we're gonna teach you how to like turn and just shoot like baby hooks and now he's brought up like yeah you're super tall but we're going to teach you how to dribble and shoot and we're going to teach you this from a very young age so by the time you are 18 years old you're very very skilled childhood's about to stop being fun i'd imagine that yeah yeah like if you have the build for this we're going to have you do this yeah you do this yeah it seems like it with these all these elite uh clubs and camps and travel teams.

They're not having it. They're not having it. Yeah, the crazy thing about basketball right now is it's completely flipped to a – it used to be a sport for, I wouldn't say poor people, but it was like – You would have a public court. Yeah, you'd have a public court. You'd just have a ball and a hoop, and guys would just play on the streets, and then you could make your way up that way.

And now it's becoming an academy thing for sure. That's kind of a shame. With NIL, these kids can make a million dollars. Parents are going to be way more motivated. Well, soon the draft first round is going to be all juniors of basketball. That's what the U-17 team just won gold for the U.S. And it's like Carmelo Anthony's kid. I think the Boosers, boozer twins yeah um there's there's uh i think bron or bryce james lebron's other kids

on the team that makes perfect sense they're all it's just you have the best trainers you have probably a court in your house it's the same with field hockey is it the same with field hockey is that you're gonna put your kids in field hockey you're already training them super crazy now these days advanced yeah even uh cooper flag is like i all i see is uh videos of him on tiktok like dominating he's not like yeah does he have a pedigree i i think so yeah he's from maine oh yeah he's oh people said he's already the best athlete from maine he might be yeah he's got a basketball he's gonna be the athlete from Maine. He might be, yeah. What is he playing? He's got a basketball. He's going to be the number one pick in the next draft.

His nickname is The Maine Event. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. But he's playing with, like, Braun and that whole team, and he's, like, doing his own thing. He almost, like, beat them yesterday, didn't he? Yeah. His team?

Yeah, they almost beat the U.S. Yeah. Lost by one. Crazy. I'm prepared to root fully for Memphis Eady. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Now that he's off Purdue, I really want him to dominate.

Yeah, it would be funny. Nothing else. Get his jersey. Get his jersey. Get a Grizz Eady. Yeah, sure. Grizz Eady. Grizz Eady. his jersey get a grizzly yeah shit grizzly grizzly uh how's how are how's everybody doing with your olympic uh research forgot about it forgot about it so right this moment yeah i don't

know what sport i have me too until everyone's dming me about this dude from nebraska who's on the three on three team but i I haven't really read them. Oh, you've got three-on-three basketball? Three-on-three, yeah. Let me look him up. I don't know who's... I thought Jimmer was on the team, isn't he? He is.

Yeah. How close are we to... Oh, Canyon Barry. Is that him? That's a cool fucking name. Jimmer Fredette. Kareem Maddox You have to have a cool

Him Dylan Travis Oh He has a lot of hitters Dylan Travis does? Oh yeah Why does he have hitters? I don't know

I haven't looked into it But I'm about to How close are we to like Why does he have hitters? I don't know. I haven't looked into it. But I'm about to. How close are we to, like, podcasting and TikTok being entered into the Olympic Games? Never in a trillion years. You don't think? I don't think we're particularly close. No.

That's not a sport. I think, yeah. But podcasting is going to, it already is kind of like basketball in the sense that, no, never mind. No. Yeah. It's just like actors or ex-athletes doing podcasts now. Yeah. And those are the big ones.

Yeah, but it might become specialized, like how basketball, like kids are learning basketball and doing whatever at nine years old. Like there's going to be some social media. I worry about that. Like a sport, our field is going to evolve so much that when we look back and we're like, wow, these guys had no technical skills. This is some dog shit podcasting. They never learned the fundamentals. They podcasted against plumbers.

They're probably right. We're the first crop of people doing it yeah imagine 100 years yeah yeah because there's no like there's no podcasters that have died of old age yet no no no they're gonna look back at big cat and be like he had no competition it's like the babe ruth they're like big cat was actually dominican yeah he would eat eight hot dogs before he podcasted so chestnut took down 200 boneless wings in 10 minutes yep was it 10 no 38 jesus so it's every hot dog you have takes off, they say, 30 minutes of your life.

Really? Is that what they say? I don't know. I can't say that I talk to the people. The FDA. How could you ever measure? The FDA says like the sodium content, you should only have two a year. Oh, really?

Yeah. And if every one hot dog is 30 minutes off your life, chestnut is on borrowed time. Chestnut's been dead like a thousand times. Yeah. If that's a fact. I've been crushing Chicago dogs. I'm on a heater. You get like three at once?

Yeah, I'll get two at once and a chocolate shake. Why'd you say yeah when I asked if you get three? She didn't want to let you down, dude. I didn't. He was looking me in the eyes, so I was like, yeah. Guess I do. Two. I get two. Just close to three. She didn't want to let you down, dude. I didn't. He was looking me in the eyes, so I was like, yeah. Yes, I do. Two. I get two.

Just close to three. Just let it slide, B. You find the Chicago dog to be the best dog in the world? Honestly, yes. Yeah? Yes, I do. It's really good. There's stands everywhere.

You can't. I like all the fixings on it. It adds like a new, it takes it to another level. And it makes you feel like you're eating a salad on top of your onions, pickles. That's about it. What about cream cheese? What about like a flavored cream cheese on a hot dog? Yeah, I would do that.

I think that cream cheese should have more playing time on sandwiches. I agree. I don't think that's crazy uh no like cream cheese on a cheese steak not on a cheese stick on like a bread sandwich so like like a square a chive cream cheese like a school boy's sandwich okay like turkey vegetable cream cheese yes i think schoolboy sandwich. Okay, like turkey, vegetable cream cheese. Yes. I think you're trying to erase mayo. Cream cheese, chips, turkey provolone. Anytime.

Potato chips on the sandwich? Brunched up. Oh my God, don't do this. Now we're getting crazy. Yeah. I like it. The water ice place near my house is doing it's a cake bun a frozen banana and then like chocolate syrup as the mustard and like the oh so they're doing a dessert dog

i like they're good too you know what kyle i'm gonna call you out bad cream cheese take i think you want cream cheese oh no oh he's loading up why you got me no I just think like mayo exists and like cream cheese should stick to breakfast on a toasted bagel

yeah oh shit did you see Brandon's text I did yeah I don't know if they want to share it themselves DJ you want to pull it up Brandon got his ring That ring is awesome

Oh and it's nice It is nice and then there's big cats That's cool That's fucking awesome actually Oh my god I'm happy those guys got it That's a nice ring It's just a cool picture

Maybe That's a nice ring It's just a cool picture Maybe He'll be back Kate if someone proposed to you with like a class ring Would you accept it? Or does it have to be like that Wedding band type of ring No I don't think Again I've already done that

And I don't think i would want a regular ring anymore it would have to be goofy it'd have to be like it wouldn't have to be goofy no but it would have to be like different i don't want like the diamond ring anymore yeah in case you're listening pad i texted mook i'm like ask me if I want a ring. That would be a fun fucking wedding. It would. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I've been thinking. That would be a. You would have some weird shit. Yeah. Pat would want to do it like upside down. If I would want an upside down wedding.

Yeah. It's in one of those funhouse tunnels with all the seats strapped down. The wedding sucked. Distorted mirrors. Everyone's on roller skates in the back of a U-Haul truck. Around Chicago. Upside down.

It sucked. Yeah, we released bats. Everything would suck. A wedding, but everything sucks. Yeah, hear me out. So Pat's always wanted to do an underwater wedding. Okay, all right.

If you, Pat, do it so we can plan it. Okay. Yes. All right. It wouldn't even have to be like official. We could just have a wedding. We should throw you a wedding. Yeah.

We've been together for like a long ass time, really. Yeah. Like, are you, aren't you like legally partners? Almost. What's it called? A few more years and we'll be. Oh, there is like a year minimum. 10 years.

Doesn't that make you. 10 years living together. It's a, what's it called? Domestic partnership. Domestic partnership. We're almost there. Common law marriage. I know some dudes in Philly that are about to be domestic partners.

Dude, the guy's finding out they're gay. Fuck, we've been living together for 10 years. Dude, we're fucking married. Could you do that? I think you can. If you had, yeah. I think. I mean, don't you have to have like.

Get the cop back in here. Can you have joint bank accounts if you're not married I don't know I don't know how that works The cop would be like well in today's world Times have changed It's changing everything Of course when I was coming up in the forest

We had a word for that What would be the worst wedding you have to get food poisoning I feel I feel like I don't know what I don't know what you guys would do strange like I think your flower girl be tossing brown recluses. That's flattering that you think of me that way.

Thank you. I'll work on it. The funniest thing you could do is have just an extravagant, very straightforward traditional wedding. And everyone's waiting. I'd be on the edge. What is happening?

Why is this beautiful? It's classy as fuck. Holy shit. What's going on? Yeah, please get married. Yeah. I would do- Hire the Phantom.

Hole in the wall bar. Oh, the Phantom. Oh, the Phantom would be doing the music. No, you'd have like mimes. Yeah, mimes. Have you seen the new thing rich people are doing at their weddings? The people on the flowers? No.

I don't know, TJ, if you could could find it but it's like fancy ass million dollar weddings and when you enter the wedding area say it's like on a fancy church compound or something there's people on these 20 foot flowers and the the middle part of the flower is like a person and it's like wacky waving inflatable man they go like all the way around. Human? What? Like a Lebanese belly dancer? Kind of, yeah. It's wild and like classy people are having these. Who wants that? Huh?

I'm telling you. I need to see this. Who's loving that? Unlooking human flowers at wedding. Well, that's another thing. Having people dressed up like the bouquets who also, this is great for our viewers. What?

But the human. that's look up human flowers at wedding is one thing where there's people who are wearing like all green and then they're wearing like flower headdresses and they roam around oh they are moving they're moving but then there's these giant scaring people giant like a boingy flowers a cot so like the stem is their body and then the The stem is like a 20 foot long wobbly stick and then they're just strapped in by their feet and they're like If I ever don't get my contract renewed

my ass is going to hydrangea. I'm going to find this if it kills me. Shut up. Some kids are getting into STEM that way yeah my kids into stem she's really budding right now so you guys keep talking it's gonna kill me if i don't find this it should be easy to find yeah i just can't stop thinking about a dude moving out of an apartment because he's like, fuck, we're about to be gay. Yeah, I know I can't afford it, but my reputation can't afford it.

I have to get a studio now. Oh, dude, Sketch's video yesterday was amazing. Yes, it was great. I played it perfectly. He came out and he was like, I dressed the elephant in the room. I got a haircut. Yeah, that's funny shit. I did not have sexual relations with that man yes i did pretty funny yeah yeah and it's everybody seems to be behind my thing is like he obviously shouldn't be defamed harassed

obviously any support is but is he impervious to clowning because I feel like if any dude, if any one of you had a sex tape leak, gay or un-gay straight, then you're getting clowned. Yeah. I feel like we need to know why he did it. If it's because he's gay, you don't clown him because he's gay. You clown him because that happened.

Right. Yeah. But if he did it because he had like had an addiction or like was. Oh, that's what he said. Oh, he mentioned he had like a he had a couple addictions. Oh, okay. So I think that's

more sad. You don't clown that. I'm going to be honest. I saw some of it. It did not look like a happy... It wasn't like he was enjoying himself. It seemed like a bad situation. Damn.

He played it perfectly. You know what that looks like when you situation. Damn. Yeah. He played it perfectly. And you know what that looks like for just when you've hooked up. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Nick. I'm kidding. You're on a hot streak. No, it's normally very sad.

Has single breast hit you up? No comment. Oh. Also. He saw the second titty. He saw the second titty. Oh, my God. He saw the second titty.

You don't have to say anything else. Did you saw the second titty. He saw the second titty. Oh my God. He saw the second titty. You don't have to say anything else. Did you see the second titty? He did. Yeah. Son of a bitch saw them both. Wow. No, maybe he just, she came over to his place and she put like a mirror right there and so you just saw the same titty twice.

No, it'd be crazy if we... I can't even. Never mind. Started dating? Yeah, and she only showed me one titty at one time. That's just her thing. Yeah.

I'm going to have to draw it for you guys later. The human flower? I can't find it. But I've seen it very... I think Titus did it once. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm pretty sure this is my Valentine's Day costume. Was this a fever dream?

Have you been ill? I'm telling you. You can't eat it. Rich people having human flowers. I can't find it on Google. Someone out there, is anyone in the comments know what I'm talking about? All right. It's probably not on Google.

It's probably somewhere else. Yeah. This didn't happen. It's like, I swear to God. It's like 25. Dude. it's like yeah that's no way there was no 25 feet human that's impossible i think you're no way no there's no way 220 foot stems right you just can't find it on google in the ground that was a dream no it wasn't it's a good dream and then there's a flower each petal is like 10 foot long and in the middle of the flower is a flower. Each petal is like 10 foot long.

And in the middle of the flower is a dancer in all white. This is Alice in Wonderland. This is what I was just going to say. Alice in Wonderland. I saw this movie too. I've seen it. There was a cat that was invisible except for its smile. Is that like fancy Asian weddings? Fancy Asian weddings are having it.

It's a thing. I've seen it. If anyone can find it, please DM me because it's gonna make me fucking crazy i can't believe what would you dm for what would you google for that it's there i'll find it you guys keep talking this is good this is good for the show the only rich wedding i saw recently was like justin bieber got paid like 10 million to go do like a billionaire's it was a pre-wedding party. Oh, it wasn't even the real wedding?

Yeah. And he looked like he did not want to be there. He did. Yeah, he looked sad. But he got $10 million, so... $10 million. Yeah. Yeah.

But if you're Justin Bieber, does $10 million change your life? No. No, it can't. It can't. Not in any way that you can feel yeah so but why but these guys like fall into that trap i know it's just greed obviously i mean it's just like greed yeah but nothing changed he didn't wake up the next day and be like, holy shit. I bet. My life is so different now. He just threw it off the pile with the rest. It's such a large amount. It would be almost fucked up to deny it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's almost fucked up to accept it. Both. Yeah. Both ways. Paradox, for sure. Yeah. Like, listen, you could, maybe one million.

Ten million is absurd. I flew to India and did Strangers. Are there videos from it, TJ? There are. Does he look unhappy? Yeah. He can't enjoy that. He's about to be a daddy.

He is. He just did one concert for, like, a handful of people. It was like a welcome party at a wedding. Yeah. But going from, like, sold- out arenas of rabid fans. Oh, they look like they're having fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's more people there than I thought there was.

Yeah, that guy's pumped. Pre-wedding party, yeah. It looks like it's a one-on-one deal. Yeah, it's for that guy. It's gotta be the groom, right? Is it too late now to wear sorry?

This is gonna make me crazy. Okay. I don't think we can leave It's that exclusive The rich people got it white from Google People are going to hate this show Where did you see it? This is funny

What medium? People are always like all she talks about is TikTok Well that is all I do Go to the TikTok Go to the TikTok search bar I'm trying I'm looking at weddings right now. Human flower should be straightforward. If it ever happened, it would come up.

I know. Say you're walking up the pathway and you're about to enter. And then there's two giant in the middle. And they're like, like those clowns you knock over. But they get back up. But they're giant fucking flowers. I can't. I'm doing my best.

I can't really picture it. I need to see. Have you seen it? And you know what I'm talking about? I can't picture it. Kate, we've all can't. I'm doing my best. I can't really picture it. I need to see. Have you seen it? You know what I'm talking about? I can't picture it. Okay, we've all seen it. We're fucking with you. Yes, of course we saw it.

It had like a billion views. It had like a billion views. We sent it, I think, in a chat. We talked about this. On the act. Now you're fucking with me. No. We had this exact conversation.

TJ pulled it up. Yeah. We did a whole bit. Are you guys fucking with me. No. We had this exact conversation. TJ pulled it up. Yeah. We did a whole bit. Are you guys fucking with me? No. No. I'm going to add it to the wheel that somebody was going to have to do this. Shut the fuck up.

How are you not finding it? I'm looking at it now. Okay. Now you're fucking with me. Now I'm crying. Okay. He's fucking with me, right? I hate myself. Okay. He's fucking with me, right? I hate myself.

Okay, well, it's a thing. If you've seen it. Somebody said they DM'd it to you on Instagram. Oh. Is this going to be somebody's, like... Chef Donnie said kids are better now at X Games because they have less fear than adults, and if they get hurt,

the recovery time is a fraction of what it used to be. Oh, it's an eight. Wow, yeah. That makes sense. Yes. Interesting. Okay, thank you to the people who DMed me. I'm about to send it to TJ, to the whole squad.

TJ has had it queued up this entire time. Has he? This would be. Paige DeSorbo, God bless, if you know you know i don't know um but these flowers i've seen at all these weddings now it's like the third slide or the fifth slide or it's you got a slide so wait it's a photo that you got this from no i've seen multiple weddings now on my social media have had these flower people and it's over in europe and like asia it's one of like the fifth or sixth slide over tj

okay see oh oh this is fucking cool i thought these were people in costumes. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah. Okay, well that was really cycloneactic. I was thinking their heads were going to be like a hole in the stem and they're walking around, hello. Yeah, like a sunflower. Welcome, I'm a rose. That is another genre of, I'm telling

you, that's another thing, like human bouquets walk around. Kate, you just got out of this pickle. You want to go? Don't do this. That is beautiful. It's making me nauseous. I don't like it. Really? No.

I would have a hard time keeping a straight face, staying in character. Thank you to the people who sent that to me. Appreciate it. Brian. Thank you, Brian. appreciate it Brian thank you Brian we gotta we gotta talk about Bobby Althoff

I don't know if we should I think it's bad do we not know what happened do you know where it was oh you're correct yeah yeah nope nobody does

nobody does I was genuinely asking I've never seen it I don't know I'm hosting a bachelor style show for Jerry tonight he's trying for jerry tonight uh he's trying to find a best friend i think that's awesome i know i hope it works what's the format like how's it gonna i know nothing oh you know nothing is it here it is here so we have a bunch of yeah here we got a friend finder challenge i got a ringer coming in. You do.

You're 20 guys competing for the chance to be Jerry's best friend. Will Jerry be able to find a lifelong friend he's been searching for? Oh, I love that. I love that. Lucas. I need to learn what I'm doing tonight. He's putting them through challenges. Yeah, I also want to hear about the selection process.

Can you give us a quick rundown on what's happening tonight? Yeah. TJ, can we censor his lower half, I suppose? I don't know if it's allowed on YouTube, man. God damn. We're doing a Bachelor-style show where... 20 guys. 20 guys. Jerry is the Bachelor, basically.

So if you guys have ever seen The Bachelor, which I'm pretty sure 95% of people watching this haven't. 98. 98. Yes. Yeah, so we're going to have 20 dudes show up. We're going to put them through a series of questions and tests, and Jerry's going to find

his best friend do you think he actually will do you believe in best friends yes who's your best friend i got a couple um that's not that's not a best friend you can have multiple best friends you can't have multiple that's crazy is this gonna be a scored event or is it gonna be up to jerry's gut so there will be like events where they're facing off against each other but as on the bachelor like just because you win something doesn't mean you move on it's also like your effort and does jerry want a hot best friend like the bachelor wants a hot partner does he want a good-looking best friend that's uh i don't think he has a choice. I don't think any of these guys can be a hot best friend. Okay.

No offense if you're watching this. Actually, all offense. Is there like instead of a rose, everyone gets a wrench kind of thing? No, there's roses. Oh, there is? It is roses. Okay. How did you find these guys?

What was the vetting process? A Google form that they filled out. With pictures? Yeah. Are any of them wheelchair-bound? I don't think so. A Google form that they filled out. With pictures? Yeah. Are any of them wheelchair bound? I don't think so. I mean, we have a wheelchair.

No, no, I want it to be tried and true. Okay. Egic. Yeah. Yeah. How long is it going to go on tonight? I want to say like two to three hours. Okay.

Wow. First part should take... The first part is going to be like a speed dating type. So they're going to have like two minutes with Jerry in in the very beginning so that'll take like probably like 40 40 minutes to an hour have you had any uh second or third dates lately i have second third beyond yes no way still ongoing did you get through the proverbial threshold um yes i've oh i've beaten my demons and uh we're good we're good what were your demons well just the third date demon you know i couldn't get past it for whatever reason was it their fault or yours um i want to say half and half nah that's mine mine I'm excited for tonight

yeah I think it'll be great I think it'll be really funny I think it'll be very similar to Arch Madness and how that one was like kind of crazy and stupid yeah this is gonna be great

yeah I think it'll be awesome seeing all these random ass dudes come in you should have you should have one I don't know what's going on I'm just having a tough mic day you should have one contestant don't know what's going on. It's having a tough mic day.

You should have one contestant just be a smoking hot chick with big titties. And Jerry has nothing in common with her. See how long she can stay in the running? One seed. That, I don't know any chicks like that, to be honest. If you guys do.

You don't know any chicks that are smoking hot? No, guys you guys do you don't have any chicks that are smoking hot no no some babes no smoking hot chicks yeah that would be kind of hilarious like car that would be funny babe i'm not doing the bachelor i'm trying to find a girl best friend they're all just hot chicks i'm looking for a best friend should be good stuff all right lucas all right lucas tj follow him out i actually really love that idea Best friend. Should be good stuff. All right, Lucas. All right, Lucas. TJ, follow him out. I actually really love that idea. Thank you.

Going to get that one demonetized. Kate, have you made any woman friends here? Ooh. Yeah. At the playground. I ask for phone numbers. I'm asking a guy for digits. Do you get nervous? I do.

I get a little nervous. And now I have two moms in particular that i run into all the time and like i feel like we've tried to meet for drinks multiple times it never happens when you're a toddler mom but we're out there did you did you get through the play date threshold are you doing play dates or is it just a mutual meetup i'm afraid if i have another parent with their kids over to my house they'll see how shitty I am like what if their house is way cleaner and way better but your kid like eats their kid's thumb or like it like pushes them down or something yeah like I'm afraid it'll ruin the magic yeah of like the casual chat

at the playground so it's intimidating to have a play date how old's your oldest three okay yeah so at this age the the parents become the friends and then the kids are forced to be the friends because the parents are friends but is there there's a certain age where the opposite happens right yeah friends are friends that's like school and now the parents are forced to whatever yeah to hang out with these parents just because yeah but no there's a cool there's a there's definitely at the local playground a cool group of parents that i'm like on the outskirt of and they bring like beers to the park on no way like they'll hang out in a little clump and they come with activities for all the

kids to do and my kid starts following them around and so i'm like oh hey he's with you but i haven't gotten nobody's's handed me a beer yet. You should bring your own. But then is that me? Are they like, oh, does she just think she's with us now? That is tough. That's a little weird. So I'm in my head about it a little bit. You should bring a funnel and just do it alone until.

Oh, hey, guys. Over in the corner. You should do the butt chug at the playground. Maybe. Thinking about it. It's hard to make friends. Yeah. It's really hard. You should do the butt chug at the playground. Maybe. Yeah. Thinking about it. It's hard to make friends. Yeah.

It's really hard. But I'm thinking about it now. My parents' friends, their kids were just mined by, those were my best friends when I was growing up. I didn't choose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We had the neighborhood thing that I talk about.

Like it was built in. Say that again. My parents picked my friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your best friends are just. My parents. Your parents' friends' kids. Yes parents picked my friends. Yeah. Your best friends are just my parents.

Your parents' friends' kids. Yes. Yes. Interesting. My parents would go hang out with, and it was like, okay, go hang out with their kid. And so you did that enough. And I loved them. Yeah.

Nah, I hated mine. No, I think, would you have loved them no matter what? Like, you're at that age. Yes, but then you get older and you come into consciousness like these aren't, I don't. I still fuck with them. I still fuck with them, but it wasn't the perfect match. You know what I mean? It would make sense that the kids should get along if the parents get along.

The parents are like-minded. Yeah. Yeah, they're probably. Passing stuff on to the kids, you'd think the kids would be a little more like-minded. No, we're all still, my more like-minded no we're all still my parents best friends they're all still best friends and me and their kids all went to different schools but we're still all best friends that's nice yeah but you have no free will no god wow yeah but i like it that way yeah so i'll force some friends upon them they're also at that age

where they're such like dickheads to each other like they're so mean to each other out of the blue that it's like. They don't even want friends. It's embarrassing. They're like super sweet one minute and the next they're like yanking shit out of each other's hands and like pushing and. How's the boy with the chomping? He's good. He hasn't bitten in a long time. Nice. So that was a very stressful period of life.

Now the younger one's starting to chomp on everything. He's teething. Yeah, that's normal. Yeah. They bite. My dog. God.

Move seats. What the fuck's going on? Yeah. If you want to move seats or stop touching it, we'll switch the mic out after the show. I think he's being stubborn. I won't move. I'm just going to sit like this.

Not even really move my mouth. Okay. You could do ventriloquism. You ever dabbled in that, Kyle? Me? Yeah, it feels like it, Kyle. No, I'm not good with the mouth. Yeah. You see, Danny Conrad does,

and he has a dummy here in the office somewhere, and he can actually do it. That's actually not it. There's his dummy right back there. Yeah, it's right back there. Danny Conrad can be a ventriloquist. Yes. No shit. Oh, large shirt Danny. Pretty good, too. I don't want to

see it again. Is he here? L-shirt Dan. How's that art doing? Is it thriving still? Ventriloquism? Who was the guy? Jeff Dunham. And there was kids and adults on America's Got Talent. It's doing alright. Jeff Dunham doesn't do the dead terrorist anymore, though. Does he not? No, I think that on like America's Got Talent. It's doing all right.

Jeff Dunham doesn't do the dead terrorist anymore, though. Does he not? No, I think that was. He's gone woke. He's gone fucking woke. Now it's an alive terrorist. And he's real nice. Ahmed, the alive kind terrorist. Hey, everybody.

It's a domestic terrorist now. Yeah. it's a domestic terrorist now yeah i did think he was funny oh yeah did you yeah i love ventriloquism now kids are like singing with them haven't seen that kids are doing it kids are good ventriloquists now jesus yeah Jesus. Yeah. What are kids trash at? Manual labor? No. No? They're really good. Oh, God, no. Look at the, our country was built on child labor.

They were, like, great at everything. Are we still doing child labor? I mean, we're importing it. Yeah, we are. Yeah. We're importing it. Correct. I forgot about that.

Hashtag Sheen. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, China's been at it since the beginning. They connected the Yellow and Yangtze River with a million of them

in five years. Incredible. Yeah. What do kids suck at? What do kids suck at? Drawing. No, they're good at, I bet you like there's some five-year-old artists you're

right yes incredible yes good video games what is a skill that like a eight-year-old has no chance at golf they stay well no they're not good i bet you they're not good at comedy yeah there are some kids doing stand-up right now yeah that are like doing well my son hits me with stuff every day that like genuinely makes me laugh like a fart like uh yes that's it any variation of like poopy gets gets me every time and i say don't take my hat and then he takes my hat that's pretty funny no he's got chops yeah all right well just basic like communication maybe yeah i bet you a kid would be good calling customer service horrible eye contact um kids can do that no they're good at eye contact really yeah sleeping handshakes

think of that would you try i wouldn't go to a restaurant with a kid chef. I'd be grossed out. That is a great... Chefing, yeah. Touch everything. A pop-up shop with a kid chef. That would suck. Your weightlifting?

That's a good one. That's a good one. World's strongest man. We don't have to worry about... No kids. We don't have to worry about a nine-year-old... No kids beating Magnus at the Atlas Stones. Did you see they have kid gyms here in Chicago?

No. Gyms with tiny equipment and you can get memberships for your kid and it's like tiny gym. Is it more weightlifting? Is it more weight loss? That's a great point. It could be a little mix of both. That would be messed. Send to your fat kid.

Do fat camps still exist? I bet they do. They have to. They can't. They should. They should. We should encourage different terminology.

Is that just what the Barstool thing is? Oh, that's what Camp Barstool is. Is it a bait and switch? It might be. Maybe so. KB shows up and they're like, you're good. You're going to commentate.

KB, you over there. I mean, look. Were Fat Camp, like, they're real, correct? Like, they are. were yeah but was there was there a difference between fat camp and normal camp or was fat camp just camp for fat people or fat kids by simply like canoeing you lost the weight promoting an active lifestyle i feel like a lot of canned foods are unhealthy though yeah the first thing that popped up when i googled is fat camp still

a thing it's like premier fitness camp in this picture but then underneath it says fat camp for adults oh oh yeah and they're just straight up calling it that aren't there like adult sex camps there's a cruise there's a cruise i'm serious there's you didn't have to say adult. Yeah. I was like an urban legend in my hometown. Sex camp? Yeah, like there was this camp Saginaw in Pennsylvania. More like Camp Saginaw. It was a Jewish overnight camp for kids,

but they said in the off season it was an adult sex camp. Did your town have an affair spot? Oh, yeah. Ours spot oh yeah ours was the village field dumps the recycling bins what people would park there and have affairs i always think when i see a lone car in the back of a lot and there's people i'm like that's an affair i'm always looking for them i feel like a lot of motels are just for affairs now too. Oh, big time. Big time. This one does fitness and also screen time reduction. Whoa, yeah. Internet habit reversal. Oh.

Gaming, internet gaming disorder. Play the video, TJ. Let me see those little tubsters. I might be in this video. TJ. A success story. It's all nine-year-olds.

TJ went last year. He's a counselor now. There you go. I went to like a program. It wasn't a summer camp. It did not work. Oh, they're not fat. No, they're not fat enough.

Not fat enough. No. I'm like, she's in great shape. Yeah, what the fuck? Unless she's a teacher. Wait, that voice sounds like it has jowls. Fishing. There we go.

Okay. I want fatter, though. Where are, like, the fatties? I want more waddling. Yes. You are eating healthy. I want more waddle. You're out there exercising. You're out there talking to people. You're away from your technology. Camp Pocono Trails made me into the person who I am by making me happier, and I found my best friends here.

I'm making new friends. I became more open and more outgoing. We're taking kids with low self-esteem and raising them up. And then we're making fun of them. Oh, I feel bad. Send your most vulnerable kids to our hidden spot in the world. Video game addiction treatment. They're just going to go home and just go on a tablet bench.

It's going to hit so hard. Is space camp still a thing? I went to space camp. What? At Wheeling Jesuit University. Oh, what's that like? And I always wanted to be, they never put me in the ship. I was always mission control.

I could have sworn. We were controlling outer space. It was legit, yeah. I got bullied at space camp one year. Why is that? They took my Cheetos at lunch. It was a bad time for me. You didn't like space camp?

No. But everybody that goes to space camp gets bullied outside of space camp. So you were the lowest. Holy shit. Bullied at space camp. That's tough. Yeah. I left early.

I did two and a half days. Called it. Good God. It was a bad time. Wait, yeah. O did two and a half days. Called it. Good God. It was a bad time. Wait, yeah, ours was at a Jesuit college so the guys were like priests that were like...

Yeah, that was weird. The spacesuits, they were like... But there was like a permanent NASA center. There's like a wall. Yeah, like we had to build a ship to get to heaven.

Yeah. I got up there and we found out there was no life outside of earth of course you did bible camp right oh yeah I was a vacation bible school

counselor you were a counselor yeah I'll be honest I didn't mind that I thought it was kind of a fun time I had a good time there

so fun yeah we had a petting zoo at ours no way get reckless and like what like fuck with the the hens like little things they had so fun. We had a petting zoo at ours. No way. We'd get reckless and fuck with the hens, like little

things they had. Like a bad kid. Bible camp was a blast. I don't remember any religion being involved either. No. A lot of songs. A lot of games. Yeah, songs and games. We'd do a lock-in one night. I remember that was a thing at ours.

We'd do overnight. Stay up all night. I remember like that was a thing at ours. Yeah. Do overnight. Yeah. Stay up all night. Yep. Just play games. I don't. Yeah. I don't think I did that.

Ours was the war. We did that. Just play like fucking dodgeball at the church. Yeah. Yeah. In like a weird ass room. It was like themed always like a weird jungle or safari or Noah's Ark. I remember.

Yeah. You split up into what animal group you were and it got heated spoons a lot of plants a lot of spoons that was huge we even had dances yeah oh a ton of a ton of water balloons a lot of water there's always a water fight of some sort they'd always play hit me with your best shot. And you all had Velcro balls and they were dancing in these Velcro suits on the stage. We were like, oh. What are you talking about?

And the devil tries to hit you with his best shot. What do you do? It was, everything had tied in. Nick, did you perform at the St. Vincent's

talent show? No. I did. What? Wait, did you set me up? Yeah. Wait,

you did the song at the car wash and you shook your ass cleaning out the rim no but i remember no i i river danced yeah and i have video proof not on my phone now but i can acquire it with you in a group that's who won the show oh car wash yeah rj miller yeah um did you where i won the poetry declamation i did once no i got second i i memorized a book though i memorized the book parts it was my favorite book a book yeah but it was like a rhyming book okay uh did you have a video leak of you and African garb two days before 9-11? It was a week before 9-11. It was even one of the old camcorder shots that has the...

You look at the camera and just go, I'm from Africa. And then 9-11 changed everything. You were in full garb. I'll try to find that. I got that saved to my favorites. That's put away good shit we had a talent show at my high school it was a male pageant it was mr bulldog i never participated but uh my senior year the guy who won it did dance dance revolution

i think that killed i think that killed the pageant. It's like doing guitar here. It was a male pageant. I still don't really... The arrows on the ground. I would go to it every year. Or Mr. Whatever Your High School Is Called. Yeah, and you just hoot and holler for your friends

that come out. I was in high school right when Evolution of Dance was going viral, and so every cool guy did Evolution of Dance at the talent show and won every year what is that? Evolution of Dance was like the first viral video I think it was on E-Bomb we had like a male talent show slash pageant at my high school I wasn't a competitor but I did appear in a sketch as George W. Bush

in my friend's submission. In what context? He was Obama. It was a reality show, or like a sitcom about the Obamas, and he played Obama. He was white. Oh no. Still is white, I guess. Isn't that like the movie

Bubba Hotep didn't MLK? Wasn't he played by a white guy? Probably. Did Judy Garland do that shit? Judy Garland had a sad ass life, man. Yeah, she did. She was abused. 40 cigarettes a day and benzos was all she was allowed to have.

Oh, so fucked up. Actually, that sounds kind of sick. It'll keep you out of fat camp. Yeah. Kyle, I can't find your I'm from Africa video. I would go to fat camp right now to lose 10 pounds just stop eating yeah i can't take take the stairs a little more mix in a salad if you could go away for a week and lose 10 pounds like that's like an ideal dana beers gets ozempic from a back alley med spa.

I feel like you could. I've been offered it. Yeah, I know. Can we talk about that or not? Sales. What? It's so fucked up. There's like some sort of similar to Ozempic that was like, hey, can you ask Mook politely?

He would do this. I was appalled. But I was like, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah. You're not that bad. You're not head turning. No, but I keep it. You're not even fat.

I just keep it contained. Not at all. Thanks, guys. It's because you leave your shirt on. Yeah. By Odin. That's what I mean. That guy swimming in the lake in the Phillies jersey

must have a six pack underneath him. Right. Of course, yeah. He's humble. You're fooling us all. That's what I'm doing. No, I a six-pack underneath him. Right. Of course, yeah. He's humble. You're fooling us all. That's what I'm doing. No, I'm validating your phobia. You should leave your shirt on always, yeah.

Because it's working. Yeah. Yeah, you. It's working. Thanks, man. It's not your face. Yeah, it's just all. So what?

Yeah. I have my abs are still split in half from the pregnancy, and sometimes your abs split in half and they don't come back together, so my organs are still sticking out the middle oh no that's not i still look like i'm pregnant if you see me in loose clothes but it's just my guts your guts it's like you can pay it are you are is that fine no no that we're working on it it's a problem but how and and i have a huge crease just like halfway down my stomach. So your front and back are ruined. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, inverted organs. Yeah, it's inverted. It's cumbersome. Whenever I cough or whatever, it's like they go like bleep, bleep, stick out. It's gross. It's fucked up. I've been wearing loose clothes too. It's tough.

Could you like puncture it with a toothpick? Probably, yeah. That'd be fun. Jesus Christ. You seen the videos where they let the gas out of the cows? Yeah. They just poke it with a straw and it's like and the cow gets smaller and smaller and smaller

cause cows can't digest corn but we still fucking do it we do it and on a hot day they just they blow up like balloons and then tip over and the farmers go around they're like good job yuck did you ever find that flower video yes where were you Think, think. Good job. Yuck.

Did you ever find that flower video? Yes, where were you? Oh, yeah. Alex Earl also posted it. So I think that wasn't the one you were talking about, and you saw something that was similar, and you tried to run with it. Look at this.

They're holding hands. I was pissing. That's not what you described. Oh, okay. They're dancing on the... All right. Okay. You see what Tony P in D.C. is up to? No.

He's on NATO. What? Is this something you can get on? Did you know that Washington... No way! ...the birth of NATO? It all started right here. At the Andrew W. Mellon Auditorium. No way! He made NATO. have today the world's most successful political and military alliance 75 years after its creation

now 32 members strong this year nato is hosting its summit right here in washington dc home of the u.s congress and the white house the political heart of the united states at the nato summit heads of state and government will discuss. Oh, no. Keep going. Oh, man. Oh, boy. Tony P. Tony P. Hog reveal.

He got paid, probably. Oh, yeah. I think he works for NATO now. I need to talk to a lady who's. I'm curious. I'm curious I'm curious Maybe he does have a hog But does he know the motion Of the ocean

Is that a rumor That he has a giant Oh that's the thing going on No people just want to see it Oh and you're yeah I'm misunderstanding everything I thought he had like a giant I don't think hog necessarily implies giant penis Hog always Yes it does Oh, and you're, yeah. I'm misunderstanding everything. I thought he had like a giant.

I don't think hog necessarily implies giant penis. Hog always. Yes, it does. Hog to me is fucking fat. It better have a small hog. I want to see your hog. That doesn't mean I want to see your dog. It means fat. Absolutely.

Does it? Yes. Oh, yeah. I don't think hog reveal means. You can't have a little hog. You can't have a little wrench. You can't have like. That's a piglet.

What, yeah. Pecker is small. Pecker's small. Pecker reveal? No, I think hog reveal is a blanket term. No, no, no. Hog means the big meaty thing. A hog has veins all over it.

Because it's like a hog. Yeah. I'm trying to think of the parallel. Yeah, like a fucking hog is the same way a hog would be a big fat animal. Hog is such a perfect name. It's so perfect. Yeah. I remember in college we used to call, like, if we thought a girl was like a slut.

This is so mean. I wasn't mean, but a slam hog. A slam hog? Yeah. Did you hear that? A big slam hog. Yeah, like, Mook, would you go home with a skinny hog? Oh, she was perfectly built.

This hog. Hourglass shape. I wish I could say yes. I'm watching Jersey Shore, or I did watch a little bit, like, season one. They just call women everything. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, but so do we. We do.

Remember we were calling historical, fantastic, brave women ugly? Who do we think was ugly? I said Agatha Christie today. Long tooth. Pull up Agatha Christie. She had like three real long sides. You may have been exaggerating.

We'll see. Show her smiling. If she did her brows a little different she'd be fine Show her smiling look at that one Oh she's lovely Okay well that's I'm also all tooth so I can't No you don't have long teeth like that No you're right Nick I wouldn't fuck her

Would somebody in this office Fuck Agatha Christie Yes dude are you kidding first of all I'm sorry are you kidding no not me you just ripped my throat out are you kidding wait let's get let's do a video for the act. Would you fuck her? We'll do boom or doom. Boom or doom.

Yes, people. Absolutely. Julia Fox is gay. Really? She just came out as lesbian today. She is the butt from Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems. She's the butt from that film. Uncut Gems.

Good on her for being a good guy. That's cool. What percentage of your coworkers would anonymously vote yes to activate your career demise? Whoa. A lot. 50. Yeah.

Like a serious demise, like not working in the business or not doing worse? I don't know. Wow. Should I make a poll and send it to the office? Yeah. Whose demise should we activate?

But let's say it's anonymous. Yeah, obviously. Wait, wait, wait. Can we put all the act members on it and then we guess who's going to be the most demisible? It's going to be Brandon. It's going to be Brandon. Oh, Brandon.

Yeah, it'll definitely be. But people secretly love him. I think. Secretly loving somebody is kind of mean. Yo, low-key, I fuck with you. Why not? I see you get shit on 24-7. Yeah.

I could step in, but that would hurt me. I get those DMs a lot where it's like, I low-key think you're great. And it's like, okay, well, where are you at? Come on. Yeah. I would never tell a soul. It'll be our little secret isn't that sexy this is embarrassing but come on man yeah i don't know who would who's the most like evil in the office that would plot so we work with anybody evil we work with dummies we work with

fat so i say this with love. Pat is... Gay Pat? Yeah. Genuinely bad guy. Genuinely bad guy. He's one of my favorite humans on the planet. And I think he's one of the funniest people here. But he can be... He's a piece of shit.

He's a real piece of shit. He's conniving. He can be real, like, yeah. I said he has an album on his phone that's employees doing coke. And he has a photo of you doing it. That kind of just in case he needs it yeah i don't know no pat will go to hell oh even if i weren't gay love him love him with all my heart definitely going to hell he's going to double hell yeah yeah Hell twice. Who else?

Nobody's really. I don't think anyone's evil. He's good evil. Tech guy Andrew. He's chaotic evil. He's not evil. Tech guy Andrew had a subtweet the other day. Uh-huh.

Did you see it? No. That I was like, who is this about? It was like something about people who think they're more important than they really are. That's his ick. Yeah. That's his ick. And I was like, it was during work hours.

I said, that's gotta be it. I think T.J. would come out as evil. T.J.? T.ick. Yeah. That's his ick. And I was like, that's good. It was during work hours. I said, that's got to be. I think TGA would come out as evil. TGA? TGA. Tech Andrew. Oh, Tech Andrew.

New ick when people think they're more important than the actual. Oh. Uh-huh. Oh, around lunchtime at the office. Who could it be? Spill, spill,

spill. Who could it be? Hmm. Every once in a while he'll send a picture like of me on the yak and draw a dick going into my mouth. Alright. Two more ads. Two more ads.

Oh. Titus, you going to any games lately? Yeah, I need to go to Wrigley Field. The Cubs suck ass, and I'm being accused of being a Fairweather fan because I haven't been in a while because they suck ass. So I got to fix that. And I'm going to fix that by using GameTime. Did you know that you can get tickets to Diamondbacks at Cubs next Friday,

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Download the GameTime app today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Do you guys have, when you go to a baseball game, baseball is really the one that comes to mind, a fixed menu in your head of items you'll get from a concession stand, or is it like whatever I'm feeling right now? Or are you someone that's like, if I'm at a baseball game, I've got to do peanuts, I've got to get the ice cream in the the helmet hat yeah i gotta do

i gotta get a beer in my hand by inning two or you just like a go with the flow go with the flow i'm a peanuts and beer as soon as i get in i am too yeah always get a beer before i go to my seat peanuts and beer and then if i'm hungry a dog dog when it comes around. But if I think I'm going to get hungry and a hot dog guy does come by, take advantage of that. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I always get a beer. I always get the ice cream and the hat. Yeah. And it's the only time I eat peanuts. Yeah, same.

I actually used the only time on the 4th of July to go see the Phillies get their ass beat. I was at that game. Oh, were you? I was there too. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I was at like a friend's house watching the game that game. Oh, were you? I was there too. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm trying to think if I was at like a friend's house watching the game and they're like, hey man, here's a bag of peanuts. I go, what the fuck? What the fuck are you eating? The only reason I get them

is so I feel like I'm littering. Yeah, yeah. Can I crack these on your floor? It's like a litter simulator. Yeah. Yep. I've been doing seeds at our softball games.

Nice. And that's the only time I'll do seeds. Oh no, I do seeds all the time. At home? I love when you get them in the sweet spot. They can spit them real far. Yeah, where are you spitting them? Bottle.

Bottle? Bottle seeds? Yeah, it feels cool. Do you ever eat the shells? Oh, yeah. I went through a phase of just chomping them. That's how I started. Yeah.

Yeah. I love seeds. I started by just like sucking on the salt. When I was like seven. I would chew them up into mush and then spit them in the dugout. You were the OG Hawk to her. I feel cool when I'm doing it. Yeah, it's a cool thing.

I went on a date and he ordered edamame and I'd never had it. And so I was like trying to power through it. I was like, this is a box. The most I've ever wanted to kill myself on a rediscovering america we went to a chinese restaurant oh and i reached into the wrong bowl i was gonna say i sucked on the already eaten edamame and who's edamame was it the soulless it was the worst moment of my life. That shit had to be wet. I didn't even want to eat minty. Oh. I was tight.

Yeah. Ew. It was like slimy. And he just reminds me of it all the time. Did he see you do this? Yeah. Oh, he watched you. Remember when you ate my edamame? He's a little evil, I think.

Fusoli? Yeah, yeah. A little evil streak in him. He's a little too God-fearing to go the full way. The word, like when an evil person is so incredibly nice to you. Yes. Such a good friend to you, but you see how they treat other people. Yeah.

I love that. Yeah. I want to be even more friends with that type of person. When you describe someone as like, they can be a dick, but I know them well. Once you get to know them, they're great once once you get them on their side they're great yeah it's like no no they're just assholes we've had people on zbt who especially early on who were like not maybe the best people but who were like so much fun to hang out with they are like man that guy was really fun though like you get off on being on their good side yeah like i'm glad they like me because it would be

like it's almost like gambling the second they don't yeah i feel like big cat does that with half the part of my take yeah it really does feel like they have guys on part of my take and then like within three weeks they're in some shit and he's like i don't know man he was cool every experience i've had with him has been nothing but pause yeah This guy's on part of my take, and then within three weeks, they're in some shit, and he's like, I don't know, man. He was cool to me. Every experience I've had with him has been nothing but positive. Yeah, I wanted to be friends with the evil folk. That's fucked up. That's how they get you.

They do. Yeah. I'm trying to think, like, Martin Shkreli's closest friends or something. I don't know enough about that, dude dude I don't know if he has friends who's the fire fest guy McDonald McFarland I don't know if he'd be fun to hang out with

I thought we were gonna no you go ahead for the plot I'd hang out with him I wouldn't do him obviously you wouldn't you would no with him. I wouldn't do him, obviously. You wouldn't. You would. No, no, not now. Kate, look at me in the eyes.

No, I wouldn't. I'm not interested in him. He's not my type. Kate, if he was sitting right there, you'd be like. Nope, not my type. Not my type. Anyway, what were you going to say? What is your type?

The beef. Because when we had The Bachelor on the case, right? You tried to get him to munch you. I did. I did. I did. I did. Yeah.

He and The Beef are similar. They are. They have dark hair. That was a wig. Was it? Yeah. What were you going to say? You did try to get oral sex from The Bachelor.

I did. I did. But you weren't even drunk. No. It was really early on. No, that was before the show even started, we were. you gonna say did you try to get oral sex from the bad but that you weren't even drunk no before the show even started we were chatting yeah you're grooming him a little bit and what were you gonna say i thought we're gonna another fire fest at one point oh yeah oh i know yeah i think he just needs money now, so he's doing anything. He was going to fight Billy Football at Rough and Rowdy,

but it didn't happen. He's doing karate combat. Yeah, he did karate combat recently. What's karate combat? It's like a mixed martial arts style that takes place in like a weird pit, kind of. Wait, can we see it? What?

I did not brush my teeth this morning. I just forgot. You don't have to tell us. I'm like, can he tell? I'm in my head about it. I have some portable mouthwash upstairs. There are these tablets. Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh! How is this different than... Right, what's the difference? Yeah, I think it's slightly different. Like, there's no submissions, maybe? What's he doing? Is he tired?

Is that Billy McFarlane? Yeah. Oh, it is. Yeah. Black trunk. Did he win? Yeah. Oh, it is. Yeah. Black Trunk. Did he win? Yeah. He beat Justin Castardo.

This is like a name he would make. I feel like you've made that name. That sounds like an Italian. I think Kyle's made that name. I've made Justin Congrego is my word. Castardo. Castardo. Can you like run up on the walls and jump off?

Yeah. Karate. Castardo. He pink. Oh. What the fuck? Is that Dan Bilzerian next to him? It might.

I don't know. Oh, shit. Oh, we have to shout out Nate. He's still alive. Oh, yeah. World Series. He's still going. Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah. I think he's playing now, right? I think so. But he ended day one up pretty large. Oh, yeah. I didn't think you were talking about the World Series. Shout out Nate. He's still alive.

He's doing stuff. We should start doing that more. You've made it this far. I sent the poll out. Oh, and anything? Yeah. Oh, no. Who responded?

We have 14 responses. All right, before we do this, before we do this, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Comparison is the thief of joy and it's easy to envy other people's lives. It might look like they have it all together on their Instagram,

but in reality, they probably don't. Therapy can help you focus on what you want instead of what others have so you can start living your best life. If you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime you want no additional charge stop stop comparing start

focusing with better help visit betterhelp.com slash yak today get 10 off your first month that's betterhelp.com slash yak. Now let's see. Is this gonna cause fights? Oh no. What was the question? How did you frame the question? I asked a question about each person. Oh, nice.

Oh, Nick. Of course everyone's gonna like Nick. Oh, I'm so fucked. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, no. Oh, no. All right. Jesus Christ. Am I last?

Because I'm the worst. No, no, no. You are fucked up. Yeah, Kate. A hundred percent. Oh, thank God. You're good. Yeah, Kate.

Good. Those are good. You don't want blue. Those are great. I got 31%. Wait, what did you get? Can we see you voted? I can.

I don't know if we want to do that. Wait, is it actually... Do they think they were actually anonymous? It's called anonymous form. Nah, nah, nah. Let's not. Maybe off. Let me see the pie chart again.

I want to see mine. Yeah. I can't even. I would... Who all did you send this those are your friends mooks just the chicago office oh oh so rico but how many did you see how many accounts rico created did they did they think he moved i love you, Bosco.

That's a joke, Bosco. Oh, yeah. That's fucked up. No, this is just like. 100%. You should be celebrating. Yeah, this is great. I don't understand your disposition right now.

You should be. You feel bad that nobody said yet. I think they're lying. I think. It's the veteran card. But if it's anonymous, why would they lie? That's a good point. It must have been women who responded.

Thank you, ladies. What would you have voted for, Kate Kyle? No. No. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks. That means a lot. I don't want any of you to downplay it. TJ, can you. You're welcome. Thanks. That means a lot.

I don't want any of you to downplay it. TJ, can you look? It would hurt all of us. Is there any patterns of people who voted for you? Yeah. Did anybody vote for all of the guys? Yes. Is there one common?

We can reveal them. Yeah, we should reveal that person. There is. There is. Is it a male or female? Male. Malasek. No.

Is it somebody that, hmm. Hmm. Is it White Sox Dave? No. Fasek? No. Is it somebody that... Is it White Sox Dave? No. Fasoli? No. There's a tone in TJ's voice. Would it surprise us? No. Brandon? No. Big T? White boy Rick?

No. Smokes? No. It's not a woman? Ebo? No. Ebo would shock me. He was nothing. Smokes. No. It's not a woman? Ebo? No. Ebo would shock me. He was nothing but the best for me. I think the worst thing would be someone who only voted yes for one of us. Oh. Well, they voted.

No! Now that's not shocking. That's fine. Evil. He looks evil right now. Is there somebody that just said yes for one of us there has to be that's what i just said yeah me quick no no no oh wait quig said yes just to one of us quig said oh quig said yes to everybody but kate okay that's fine okay i want somebody that just said yes to one of us and they said no to the other people yes and who was the one of us yeah um it would have to be the person that had

the largest percentage of votes well all the questions were mandatory okay who's the one outlier one of us if i'm looking at this right, it is Mark. Mark has one guy that voted Justin. Oh, that was Malasek. Was it Malasek? I don't like this game. This is just gonna end in fights. This is old school barstool.

This is literally fabricating drama. Can we get a hint of somebody just genuinely who doesn't like mark you know how every year porn hub comes out with like here's the stats no yeah oh it's like here's what every state looked up the most those are always bullshit right but like if we did that here like who do we think is the ugliest who do we think is well we did that to sass it was really fucked up that was oh yeah yeah but we did like a yeah mean superlative a mean superlative we should not do that no no but we could we could yeah good oh we could no we shouldn't do that no no no god now i ever see like the the friend groups on tiktok could do that no oh You ever see the friend groups on TikTok do that? No. Oh, yeah.

The guy with the craziest double chin I've ever seen. It's like an anime group. All of our mental healths are barely hanging on by a thread. We don't need to. Now I'm speaking for all of us, right? Yeah. You're not projecting. No.

All right, let's spin the wheel. Yeah. That was a fun one When is Big Cat Wow I'm surprised we made it this long I know When is Big Cat back I think he's out

Till Friday Okay and we have The glue day Friday That's Friday I'm in talks with Bobo Oh good good Get him

Yeah No I don't like name wheel It's never really hit I'm in talks with Bobo. Oh, good, good. Get him, yeah. No. I don't like Name Wheel. It's never really hit. Yeah. It's never like, gotta do the sleep right over.

But let's do it because we have a bare bones crew this week. I think mine's just like ice cream sundaes or something. I didn't have an idea so I said Path of Destiny and you guys were like, hell yeah, alright.

Huh. I didn't have an idea so I said Path of Destiny and you guys were like hell yeah alright but if it lands on me we'll do Path of Destiny this week can I babysit my kids to the wheel yeah let me get your groceries one day oh yeah that's right I forgot about that oh this is mine and what was titus's uh

shit i don't remember i changed it like a hundred times i think we have a master doc somewhere right it was cry at one point was it go to sleep was it cry yeah maybe it's cry one was cry that would be a good like fart eliminator kind of thing you can't leave the show until you that'd be hard it'd be really hard doable yep i think cry was one of them dudes are just sending me ugly female novelists that died in like the 1920s eudora welty. Look at this grenade. Would it surprise you guys to learn that I have not had a single drink of beer since the case race? You didn't have a drink at the Sphere?

Not one, no, I didn't. Oh, wow. I had a drink. Fourth of July, no beer? I actually didn't drink at all at the Sphere, now that I think about it. Yeah, Fourth of July, I didn't have a beer. No beer. I was drinking white wine, and I had some high noons.

I don't know how often you were drinking. And I've been called out as like, the case race ruined you. And I was like, no, that's not true. I just am not in the mood for a beer. Could you stomach one? I don't know. Now I'm curious. Or now i'm curious or has it been long enough it's it's it was it was juneteenth we remember because che brought up brought up hulk hogan yeah that's what we're recording seven times so it's been what like 20 days wow how i was thinking of you because i wasn't

in that long but it's also like it was before hawk tua yeah i threw up until 9 30 p.m the next night and it was just stomach bile and i had to go to the va for an appointment and it was supposed to be like nine in the morning. I had to push it till 2.30, got there, had to leave the waiting room to throw up in the bathroom and then I threw up. I had to get out of the lift on the way home, threw up and it was just on the side of the street like nothing coming up. Oh yeah, I've done that a lot.

And I was supposed to pack for the shore. Yeah, all the foam. It was terrible. It was terrible. Kyle, what's your big cat Brandon missing joke for tomorrow I'll come up with one Moses and the Israelites BC walkers Yeah

Probably would have been it Probably would have landed on that Keep working Brandon Marlon Brando What's he been in Brand deals You got it

Mm-hmm Brand Oh Hmm All right Well All right See you tomorrow

See ya Yep It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. See you tomorrow.

Bye.