The Yak - The Italian Americans Are Outraged Over The Voice of Mario | The Yak 4-26-22

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

10XYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo! Hey! Just the three of us? It's the act. It's the act. Yo. Hey. Just the three of us. Just the three of us. Fuck yeah. How we doing, boys?

I like this. I like yakking with you guys. Rome's apartment in May of 2020. That type of shit. Coming out. Oh, yeah. How's that cat? Back in the day.

Garbage? I don't think Garbage's parents like me anymore. We saw Garbage like two weeks't think Garbage's parents like me anymore. We saw Garbage like two weeks ago. Yeah, but their parents... Garbage has been kind of cloistered up. Garbage has been shut away. His parents have like... We have a little cold war going on right now.

Oh, really? I think they think that we're the loud neighbors. Some drama, huh? Are you the loud neighbors? Not really. We have like fucking people over like once every six months. Some bullshit. I'll get it. Yeah, yeah. Brandon, you loud neighbors? Not really. We have like fucking people over like once every six months. Some bullshit. I'll get it. Yeah, yeah.

Brandon, you could just close that door. We live in a fucking barn. So I thought maybe someone was coming after him. Nobody's coming after you, bro. There's garbage. That's a beautiful shot, too, of garbage. I got absolutely lit up for my fucking the deck, the deckware, though. Really? The deckware is just beat, too, of garbage. I got absolutely lit up for my fucking deck. The deckware, though.

Really? The deckware is just beat up. Look at garbage. Is that an unfinished deck? No, it was like Williams-Sonoma fucking floorware or some shit for the deck. There's an empty spot right there. Well, it's like tile, so the shape of that part doesn't fit a tile. I see.

Some boring bullshit. Are these coolers just up for grabs? Don't even think about it. No, dude, those are our case race coolers. Don't even fucking think about it. Also, Econ asked a couple times, like, hey, where are those? Okay. By the way, I went on the Dave Portnoy Show.

Everyone should listen tonight. I know Kareem just tweeted something out, and then panic hit the way, I went on the Dave Portnoy Show. Everyone should listen tonight. I know Kareem just tweeted something out and then panic hit the streets, which I told him to not tweet anything because there are other people in my life who people will be like, what the hell? He's moving tomorrow. I'm not moving tomorrow. I am moving to Chicago eventually. What?

Which I said. Wait, what? It was one of those things I said so many times. Tune in to Dave Portnoy Show. Wait, what? It's all good things I said so many times. Tune in to the A Portnoy Show. Wait, what? It's all good things. People are freaking out. They're like, it's the end of Barstool.

It's over. Gonna miss you. It's all very good things. And it's not immediate. There's no, I'm gonna be here. I have at least another year, maybe more. Who knows in New York. So there's nothing immediate.

Yeah. I asked Tommy how it went. I did tell kareem to please delete that because it was very clickbaity and it made it seem like i was moving tomorrow and there are people in my life who then would be like what the fuck so the promo boys need to get their shit under control when people are like it conspiracy it's deleted i just told him simply like i just don't want other people to see it and be like, what? He's moving tomorrow. So tune in to Dave Portnoy's show. I explain everything.

It all makes sense. It's all going to be great content. If you know me, the one thing that you could actually say, what's the old Michael Scott? Like, I care too much. I do care too much about content that it's like I will go to the ends of the earth and exhaust myself to entertain the masses. So that will always be at the forefront of my mind. You will continue to dance. I'll continue to dance, do the monkey dance for everyone. Also, there will be a lot of people probably moving with me,

but that's also up in the air, and it's also nowhere near Tundra right now. So everyone just fucking chill out. Tommy Smoke said he's going to go back and take it. Rone's coming. Brandon's coming. Zah's coming. Smoke said he's going to go back into the town. Roan's coming. Brandon's coming. Zaz's coming. TJ said he's going to go remotely. Zaz said no chance in hell.

Roan, you're gone. Steven Chase said he's moving to Canada. TJ said he's going to move to Mississippi without Brandon. Nick's actually going to live with you. That's also a joke because now there's going to be a bunch of people who are like horrible career choice by sass not going. Can't joke about any of that. Yeah, nobody can joke about anything. People are

fucking terrified. People are just like on edge. Or wherever the money is. You are? People are terrified. But I actually think it was a good talk with Dave and I mean, I've talked to Dave about it forever so there were no surprises. It was one of those things that I said when we were in Chicago. I was on ESPN Chicago with Waddle and Sylvie last week, and I said it,

and then I realized, like, oh, this is something I've talked about with literally everyone here, but I forgot I had never said it out loud. So then when everyone was like, what? I was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. I've never said it out loud. So I clarified it, and it was a good talk with Dave. Listen to Dave Portnoy's show That's a promo for him Nothing in the immediate future

Everyone relax Everything will be fine So those moving trucks outside your apartment I'm going to be like the Colts I'm going to move in the middle of the night All of a sudden the Mayfair truck What the fuck That's also what Michael Scott did

Left a note on truck like what the fuck that's also what michael scott did left the note on your door yeah what the fuck holy shit he's gone like the end of goodwill hunting when matt damon just went yeah i i never i used i used to get mad when a bitch did it freak out about people would freak out about an announcement and i'd be like everyone just fucking relax but now it's like i'm i'm flattered that people it's great that people freak out yeah well yeah the people care but don't freak out because dave i talked about all of it it's all good things and everyone walked away from it being like oh that all made sense and a lot of shit's gonna continue to get made tons of shit's just gonna get dumped down your fucking gullet if anything it actually extends my career as a dancing monkey for the people. Yes. I'll be dancing until I'm fucking in a grave.

You're the lord of the dance. I can't stop dancing. I'm on the wheel. I can't stop dancing. You really can't. Stuck on the wheel. You're a dancer. Yeah, I've been having some thoughts about the swirly wheel.

Late last night was really thing. We knew you were going to have a problem with it. I think I actually said when we decided, I was like, the best part is Sass isn't here to complain about it. It was haunting me last night. I've gone diarrhea in that toilet. You don't know which

toilet we're going to swirl you in. I've done it in all of them. How many times have you walked into this toilet and there'd just be a ring of the worst smell you've ever smelled. Now we have to shove our faces in it? We have reserve this we have to take ownership of this yeah if we cleaned it i'd be fine why don't we get like dude wipes to like build us a toilet or something like that where like uh an unpooped in toilet i'd feel so much better if the toilet had never been pooped in fresh porcelain yeah i'm just gonna repeat even

if it was peed in, this is probably the gambler in me, but there's 10 people on the wheel. But the more people that have concerns... You're never going to be you. It's not going to be you. The one person who gets it is Royally

fucked. Again, this is the gambler in me where I'm like, I will never lose this bet. They go to Six Flags, right? Yeah, Six Fl never lose this bet. They go to six flags, right? Yeah, six flags. More like royally flushed them, all right? Oh, God. Steven's on one. But Michael Fantley did nothing.

We can't give you the- Let's spin. Let's spin. Let's see if it happens. Let's spin early. Let's just do it. That would maybe be the end for me. Oh, it's so gross.

I was just running through all the people in the office who I've walked in there after and been genuinely frightened by how bad it smells. We had it. We talked about it on our podcast. Disgusting.

Spin it. Spin the hell. Oh, fuck. I didn't like the position of that one oh no now we're getting dangerously close oh that's two days in a row baby maybe god damn zoom in on that i want to see how close we were fuck baby we weren't that close. Wait. Zoom back out. Closer, closer. What the fuck, TJ? Yeah.

Zoom out. Zoom out. We weren't that close. I want to take a picture of it. Zoom out. You got to get swirly in there. You got to get swirly in there. TJ's Zoom game's not great today. Oh, TJ, what's wrong with you, bro?

Went through a withdrawal, bro? If you have a problem, bro, there's no shame in telling us. Was it the pitch at Rutgers that threw you off? Oh, how'd it go? Do we have video? Yeah, we got video. Do you know what he did? Do you know what this motherfucker did?

Watch this. All right, play it. Brandon, are those Air Max 90s? They very much are, Sass. Thank you for noticing. Is your dad proud of you? I don't want to say anything. Are you going to call him a loser?

I'm not going to call him a loser. I'm just wondering. He was? Yeah. Loser. a loser. He was? Fucking loser. I bought a pair of those once when I was in like fifth grade and I never wore them because I was too insecure. Want these?

Sure. I think your feet might be bigger than mine. You think? By a lot. It's not a dick measuring contest though. What size shoe do you wear, Ron? Ten. Nice.

Small feet boys. I'm a 15. I'm an eight. I'm a 15. I'm a 15. Your impression of me is not an impression of me at all. Yeah, it is. It's Hank Hill. No, it's you. It's exactly what you sound like. You're Hank Hill. Yeah. That's true. Ron!

Here we go. Here we go. ...us from Barstool Sports. Oh, it's true. Roan. Let's go. Here we go. Here we go....us from Barstool Sports. Oh, it's Pat. Is this spring training? Wait. Yes. Oh, you're not even going to... No.

Are you serious? Oh, TJ. Thank you for coming out, TJ. That's my music. Thank you. No antics? I'm disgusted. That little graphic is so cool. I am. They asked me not TJ. That's my music. Thank you. No antics? I'm disgusted. That little graphic is so cool.

I am. They asked me not to throw off the mountain. Really? They asked me not to throw off the mountain at Wrigley when I was with 20 cancer kids and I still did it. You threw off the mountain at Wrigley? Yeah, with all these kids that were like really sick. Throwing a kid.

Damn. TJ, you have to throw off the rubber. They asked me not to. It's Rutgers. I respect Rutgers. Also, look at that. I mean, that's a very nice stadium. Oh, my God, TJ.

The trees would have been offended. It's a hell of a diamond. I'm so upset. You didn't even shake off like the first pitch or anything like that? You didn't even have to shake off. Check the runner or something like that? I was worried about spiking the ball into the ground. I threw a couple times beforehand.

It was not good. Angel Hernandez called that a strike. Fuck, TJ. Or whatever that fucking guy's name is. This is bad. You got it right, bro. What are we going to do about this? Untouch yourself.

Bless you. What are we going to do about this, TJ? You got to do it again, TJ. You got to do it again. All right, I'll text him. And he'll be able to do it, too. Rutgers just bends over to TJ, and he just gets to do everything. Oh, someone's upset.

He went to a photo shoot of the faces of Rutgers at their football stadium. They're positioning him as their number one fan. He literally is their number one fan. More people know him at Rutgers than know you at Mississippi State. James Gandolfini's corpse is still bigger. I would say 99% of people at Rutgers know TJ. Yes. At least.

Easily. And that's a lot more than your 15% in your hometown. 99% of people at Rutgers. 60% of people at Rutgers don't know how they have sports teams. That's not true. That's not true. What about Bo Milton? It's a parking lot school.

And you're going out sad. You're getting very close to calling Tim Hitchens a loser. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. TJ's my guy. He knows that. I saw a picture. You sound like it.

Today I saw a picture of Justin Bieber without eyebrows, and it looked like you, Brandon. What? Damn. That's a compliment. I just have blonde eyebrows. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. And that's a compliment.

I'm saying that that's a compliment. Is he getting that old? No, I just think that when you take the eyebrows off him. Changes a man. And that's a compliment. I'm saying that that's a compliment. Is he getting that old? No, I just think that when you take the eyebrows off him. Changes a man. Yeah, changes a man. And he looks like you. How old is he?

45. How old is he? 30 now? 32? Probably 30-something. 32. Younger than that? 34.

Younger. He's not old. He's not one foot in the grave. 26? How old is Bieber? Like 26? No, probably 28. Rone, your birthday sucked because you went to the Sixers game. Sucked.

Take the train? No, dude. You drove? Yeah. When did you get home? 12-20. 12-20? Damn.

I saw a chopper going by my apartment, and I was like, there he goes. So are the vibes as low as it possibly could be? Yeah, dude. The vibes are we want Jay Wright next year because this shit's already a wrap. We want Jay Wright next game. Honestly, because the formula is broken. They put Embiid at the top of the key again like it was Brett Brown in 2019. Low as a hand.

You just have to play through it. If you can, you have to. You just have to be a warrior. Or cut it off like Ronnie Lott or whatever. Chop your hand off and fucking go out like the... Who's the high school basketball player who only has one hand and he's fucking sick? I don't know his name. He only has one arm.

Oh, yeah. He can't go left, though. But that's fine. Embiid doesn't have to. No, he can't. He in and out dribbles though. That's fine. MB doesn't have to. No, he can't. He in and out triples. Emmanuel Hansel. Listen, you just fucking guard him.

What's his last name? Make him go left. Hansel. He actually has no left hand. He actually has no hands in his name? He's just bad at his left front. No, no, pull up. Make his ass go left.

Foster's home for imaginary friends. He's like really good. Make him go left. You don't think people have thought of that? No, I actually don't. No, I actually – Hey, you basketball, you know, that's not very advanced in strategy. Oh, is it Manuel's last name?

Yeah, you don't even know his fucking name, Steve. Manuel Hanzo. He is sick. He is sick. Follow him on Instagram. It's like what was the guy in – he plays for Seahawks, right? Shaq Griffin? Yeah, Shaq Griffin. And there was that big controversy because someone was like, was the guy in um in a place for seahawks right shack griffin yeah shack griffin yeah and there was that big controversy because someone's like yeah i wish he had had i wish he had two hands

everyone's like you can't say that it's like i think you can if you're talking about it this is just a kid so i wouldn't say it but like he's gonna be an nba draft prospect like you'd rather not do him. That's wild. Okay, he's a beast. He's a fucking beast. I think he has one D1 offer. I hope he gets it. Swatted, coast to coast. And Shaq Griffin has... Oh, he's a beast.

That's so sick. Would they make a prosthetic or no? I think it'd be hard to play with. Haven't we advanced in prosthetics? I don't think you can shoot with a prosthetic. I think he's probably more nimble. If I were him I'd make a prosthetic that was just a claw on defense. A hook?

That'd be awesome. Oh wow. Imagine if you're hip checking someone and you just feel like a little bit of metal hook on you. You'd think twice. Pulling up from 30 feet. Make his prosthetic like the sword from Halo. Dagger. hook on you? You'd think twice. Pulling up from 30 feet. Should make his prosthetic like the sword

from Halo. Yeah. Dagger. Yeah, just a glowing sword. A big ass blue one. Yeah. A BA ref part called double dribble on this guy.

Slicing the basketball in half every play. He's so sick. Imagine just getting dummied by this dude. But honestly, there was a kid in my high school

named Matt K who had a fucking, he had an incredible handle with one hand. He was such a good athlete. And we played basketball after school. Did he only have one hand or did he just happen to have a great handle? He only had one hand. And he was so good. He was a great soccer player.

But then he would just play basketball with us. And he was just so naturally talented. I wonder how many people only have a great handle with one hand, but they don't get the publicity because they have a second hand. Do you ever see Ezekiel Elliott's high school highlights of basketball? No. He literally only dribbled with one hand. Really?

It was fucking sick. Ginobili. Couldn't stop him. Yeah. I mean, this guy's sick. He has offers from Bethune-Cookman, Tennessee State, and Memphis. Let's go. Memphis?

That's a high offer for your only offer in D1. Memphis? Might be in sanctions soon. Yeah. And then Roan and I talked, and we finally, I've had to carry something in my chest for a month now. Yeah, this shit is hilarious. I was finally able to come clean today,

and it's been weighing me down. So about a month ago, Roan's wife hit me up and was like, hey, his birthday's coming up. He wants to get a personal trainer. I remember you told me that you had a friend who's a personal trainer. I was like, yeah, I do. And I hooked her up with the personal trainer, and yesterday Roan got the personal trainer.

Did I do my boy wrong? Because the whole month I've been like, I just willingly made my friend have to go work out for his birthday. Roan loves working out. Carried the weight of just my wife being like, yeah, he needs to get in shape. Every time I've looked at Roan for the last month, I've been like, I'm so sorry, dude.

I don't know why I did that. Squinting at my tits. That's hilarious. Bro code. I should have been like, I never even met a personal trainer. Yeah. I don't know any personal trainers. I get you a case of beer.

Is that what you meant to say? A case of beer? I really said it's like getting a woman a vacuum. It's like fucking getting the dude a fucking personal trainer. It's like, you know you're a fat piece of shit, right? I think I've gotten a vacuum before. That was stupid of me.

I'm thinking about it. I mean, the Dyson, all women want the Dyson. They really do want the high-end Dyson. Yeah, it was the Dyson. Yeah, they want the Dyson, but they think

they want the Dyson. They actually want the Shark. The Shark's better than the Dyson, but you know. I got my wife a Shark. That's what she really wants. You gotta drop the Shark

or the Dyson on at a random time. You can't do it on a birthday or an anniversary. Mother's Day. Christmas or anything like that. Not even Mother's Day. Yeah, Mother's Day is the worst day to do this. Yeah, you can't do it then.

That's when you get them like the Swiffer thing that goes above the ceiling fans, that type of thing. You're talking about a 1999-ass scene on TV shit? You don't get them that ever. You want to hear about an all-time cucking that I'm going through right now? Some cucking? My son's birthday is on Father's Day. Oh, man. But he's not even going to remember his birthday.

You can't get more screwed than that. He's getting close to remembering his birthday. I got nothing. No dishes, no nothing. Damn. Yeah. That sucks. It's going to be all about him.

They're going to be mad at him for like a week before that, too. He's not going to have any idea why. I looked at the calendar. I was like, you motherfucker. Yeah, that is ballsy. But it rotates, though. It's not going to be mad at him for like a week before that too. He's not going to have any idea why. I looked at the calendar and I was like, you motherfucker. Yeah, that is ballsy. But it rotates though. It's not going to be that bad. Yeah, but that means that I'm in the rotation. Oh yeah. I'm dealing with this forever. Yeah, you'll hit it again.

When he's older too. Yeah, and then it'll really mean something. Yeah. It'll be important to him. Do you think that like when I eventually pass away, hopefully I live a long and fruitful life, do you think that when Father's Day happens and I'm passed away, will he think of me or will he be like,

sweet, my birthday? You're cucking him. Yeah, I've ruined his birthday. Yes, you come back. I get revenge. That makes me feel better. He'll be sad about me being dead on his own birthday.

You will re-cuck him. I will recapture that day. Yeah, that makes me feel better. This life or the next. He'll be sad about me being dead on his own birthday. Right. You will re-cuck him. You will get that day back. That's a harder cuck. I will recapture that day. Oh, because it's going to be like, hypothetically by then, he might be a father too. Yeah, but he's still going to be thinking about that. He's not even going to think about you.

He's still going to be thinking of his dad. Think about how sick that day will be. He's getting double presents. He gets birthday and father's day. Oh, that's going to be fun. He won't even think about me. Or he's getting fucked. He will. You know what it is.

You know what it is. His kids are like, oh, this is for your birthday and Father's Day. I have to die on his birthday. Yeah. On Father's Day. The only way that you can time your whole ownership. And die on that day and then take the whole day back. Pull that off.

Yeah. Which you need. I will. You can't let another man have a day. I'll just say right now, if I make it past, let's say, 75, I will pick the day where those stars align and then out. You know what you could do? Gone.

You could die on Mother's Day and go ahead and ruin her day. Ruin everybody's day. Ruin the whole family's. You could go into a coma on Mother's Day and then die on Father's Day. A little hoover right there. That's genius. You go to that suicide clinic. Where is it?

In Sweden or something like that? Yeah. You just schedule an appointment. Yeah. Go ahead and schedule an appointment. Touch up. I don't know. Just a little.

It'll be a touch up. Yeah, exactly. I wouldn't want to fully die. Best door. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if they have that option. They clog your arteries manually.

Yeah. We'll just stuff some cholesterol in there, brother. Oh, man. Yeah. I'm screwed. Yeah, that is badly fucked. Yeah, but I ruined your birthday too, Ron, so I'm sorry. I know.

You guys were just living it up. When are you starting the training? I don't know. Oh, man. I need to rework my whole shit, though. Not a day goes by where I wake up and I'm not sore. I'm just trying to work out. Sore because you worked out or sore because you're...

Because I worked out. Because I've been doing this women's workout class. Oh, you've been doing Pilates. I've been doing that a minute, though. I know, and it's not enough. You hear that? That she's just like, get this guy a fucking real workout class. Here's the thing I'll say about the trainer.

She wants you out of women's classes. That's what it is. Oh, for sure, yeah. My buddy who will be training you, like, when you – it's actually sad to do this and realize, like, how much of a piece of shit you are. Like, when I would start training with him and he would, like – I would start lifting properly and doing, like, full body stuff,

how much better I felt, and then I still can't stick to it like it's disgusting that it's like i would work out and i'd feel incredible why don't i do this all the time yes and then same with football season same with stretching yeah all these things it's like oh if i don't drink for a couple days like i feel so good yeah like i played basketball yesterday i feel good today i feel sore but good. And I don't know why I don't. I should just be doing that more often. What about the fucking dickheads on Twitter that were like. Oh, dude, everyone's saying.

Shit about you playing basketball. They're like, oh, you're going to tear your Achilles. You're going to tear your ACL. Motherfucker's getting out being active. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Also, I don't know if I'm explosive enough to do that. People are like.

You have to have some explosion to tear an ACL. And you can't even push your ACL to the limit of tearing it? I don't... I don't know what playing below the rim, like to the mat... I'm playing submarines.

Feet on the ground. Yeah, like one of the core. Always on the ground. Below sea level is where I'm playing. You're like walking at the Olympics. Yeah.

You never have two feet off the ground. I'm just shuffling my feet everywhere. It's like it's basically a skating basketball hybrid. Yeah, which is way better. But people are like on 600-pound life when there's like a skating-basketball hybrid. Yeah, which is way better. But people are on 600-pound life when there's a skinny guy who has his oversized wife,

and he is really enabling her and feeding her and feeding her, and then you find out that he only likes her when she's big. These people only want you to be out of shape. That kind of exists. Oh, my God. That's an archetype. Every 600-pound life has an enabler and it's someone who is like

will go to Domino's. Skinny husbands. I actually understand that because if I lost like 40 pounds and got shredded, I think I'd be the perfect human being. Like overall people would be like, guy's got it all. There's no flaw whatsoever.

Not a single flaw. So I get it. Maybe I'd have to trim my eyebrows, and then I'd have no flaws. That's what you got. You don't have to stay fat, but you have to stay a little bit overweight just to maintain the illusion that you're not. Cockiest thing ever said. No, but my friends, when they met you on the waterfront this past,

like whatever, last weekend. My son almost slapped you in the face. He came up to me with a vengeance he like stepped up to me fucking bucked at me it was right after the case race too it's like oh no no no thank you sir mr but uh but they were like that big cat's like he's a pretty handsome guy like in person he's a handsome guy and he really plays at the fatness not that fat yeah but then if I took off my t-shirt, I've been doing layers. Yeah, no, I get that a lot. Like, you're not as fat as I thought. Is that?

Thanks. That's a double-edged sword right there. Still fat. I can't even compliment. You look fatter. I thought you were fat as fuck. You getting hot for the Chicago move? Is that what you're doing?

Oh, stop. People are going to fucking go crazy about this. Nothing is. Oh, whatever. Listen to Dave Portn go crazy about this. Nothing is... Whatever. Listen to Dave Portnoy's show. Listen to Dave Portnoy's show. Listen to Dave Portnoy's show. I had Kareem delete that tweet because it made it seem like I was moving tomorrow.

I'm not moving tomorrow. And also I explained everything and everything's going to be okay. And if I could reach into the computer and hold everyone right now, all the stoolies, I would literally put you up against my bosoms while I still have them because I'm going to get in sick shape and become the ideal man. Watch the Dave Portnoy show.

Yeah, watch the Dave Portnoy show. Sass, you've had the same... People get a little bit clickbaity around here sometimes instead of like... Oh yeah, I mean, anytime we talk about Bryce Hall, they clip it and post it like trying to get him to like freak out you're talking shit again about him no i made like a joke about him for like two seconds in like an hour and a half episode wait i loved your jokes

about elon musk on twitter and people not being able to handle it oh yeah people are fucking crazy that was crazy people are nuts? What were they saying back? Just, like, people were so angry with me. I don't, like, it didn't bother me, but it's just, like, insane. So many people, their instant reaction is just, Prez, fire this kid now. And the funniest part is they don't even tag Dave. Prez. They're just hoping that Dave's, like, scrolling the comments. Like, oh, shit, I should fire him.

Yeah. The bat signal. Yeah. Fire his bat signal. Perez, get rid of this guy. Also, it's like I didn't even say anything bad about Elon Musk. No, you were just taking the normal takes and just like putting it out there in a very It was just like it was blatantly a joke.

Hysterical takes and putting them out there as your own thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. Can I ask a really funny i thought it was really fucking funny potentially dumb question yeah so elon musk is buying or this is going to be already bought it is it official though because i think i think it's pretty as official as it gets without being is anything changing or is it like what's what's the babylon b is unsuspended there's like people who are like, oh, shit, like everything's changed already.

And I don't think anything. I think people have made accounts because they think they won't get banned anymore. There'll be very little change. Oh, but I think that's the opposite of what he wants to do, right? I thought he wanted to delete all like burner accounts. Oh, that would be cool. Or bots. I've always thought the internet would be a significantly better place if every account on every platform you have to put a name and a face.

How many followers do you think you would lose? What do you think would happen? If they did it every single place, every single place on the internet, you have to put a name and a face. Yeah. I mean, there has to be arguments for anonymity. I don't have a name. Would I get suspended? I don't have a name.

You don't have a name and a face. I mean, it's my face, yes, and then my name is right there. Big don't have a name. Would I get suspended? I don't have a name. You don't have a name and a face. I mean, it's not, it's my face, yes, and then my name is right there. Big cat. Profile. Oh, you do. No, I'm saying like in the, I'm not saying like it has to say it there,

but like to sign up, you have to be a verified name and name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twitter would lose a third of its accounts overnight, right? Yeah, that's probably what, that's probably the argument against it. They're not going to do it. Is that you would lose, all the social media apps would lose a bunch of accounts i was

like looking at my like comments last night like when i was thinking about that and i was looking at your comments yeah but i was like no i was like maybe like 20 of the people that follow me have like actual oh you're getting worked up by a guy who's hiding his identity no look i don't but i was just saying like i i wonder how many followers i would lose i have a new rule that i've been trying to follow is that if someone tweets you something um that pisses you off go look less than 10 followers do not reply i i was actually i wanted to read this one because some i posted that video and some dude commented and he was like, massive fucking miss, unfortunately. And then I looked at his account.

What was it? I just hit a video like... Was it the BuzzFeed thing? The BuzzFeed thing. Sounds like it was a mess. It wasn't. It was a fucking... Can we watch it?

Can we watch it? No, no, no, no, no, no. I just want to read this guy's reply. I just want to read this guy's last tweet. No, I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch it. We're going to watch it. I hate watching my own videos.

This guy, his last tweet... I hate watching your videos too his last tweet was this is his last tweet he goes dear libtards nobody cares you're leaving twitter if Elon Musk buys it in fact we'll gladly show you the door dear conservatives try to look less corny with your excitement

he's trying to be the alt-centrist. That's actually our guy. Sign him up. But that was the guy's last tweet. And he's like, they can't even handle a joke about Elon Musk. It wasn't even negative criticism about him. The dude's caping for Elon Musk are very bizarre. Like hardcore caping.

Being like, this guy's the fucking man. Most important human. I don't think anything is really going to change. Except maybe Trump will come back. Yeah which I mean he is very funny. He said he's not going to come back. He said he doesn't want to come back. But I also think that like That's a power move. If Elon Musk was like

trying to like seize Twitter and just like make it a, I don't know, an echo chamber. What's people's greatest fear? Then every tweet I saw wouldn't be critical of Elon Musk. The algorithm is only feeding me shit that's people ripping on Elon Musk on the platform that he now owns,

which is proof positive that not that much is going to change. You talk shit on whoever you want. Who gives a fuck who owns it? It's such a huge fucking swinging dick move. Oh, yeah. If Hitler owned Twitter, I would probably still use it just as much. All right.

We're just going to step aside for a second. No, but it's like, why would people care so much? I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, dude, I wouldn't. People thought in that Jeff D. Lowe video

that you were wearing a swastika. I know. What? It's so fucked up. It was an anti-Nazi pin. It's an anti-Nazi pin with a swastika and an X through it. It's like a thing through it, but people paused it. We watched that video?

Yeah, watch it. People were like, oh my God, Roan, you're wearing a swastika. Please respond right now. This is also like I'm embarrassed by how drunk I was. There's a cup on me at McDonald's. Look at that right there. Swastika. Is that not a swastika? No, it's got an X through it.

It's a fucking Dead Kennedys pin that has like a die Nazi scum on it, and it's an X through it. Oh, my God. But there is a swastika on it. It's a swastika. Yeah, no, KB wanted to wear that hat on stage, and I was like, you can't. He had the X. We literally joked about this as we bought it, though.

It's like, I still feel uncomfortable even wearing this. It's like, no, this couldn't be more overtly anti-Nazi. And then people are like, hey. With the swastika being a different color, it certainly sticks out. Maybe they could have just wrote, like, die Nazi punks. I thought it was like, yeah, when it's like so shock you look at it that was great yeah i i just was laying in bed last night like i went to the net celtics game and i come back and i'm like scrolling twitter and the last tweet i saw was what the fuck someone

explained this right now and i was like all right i'm going to bed like i'm not going to stick around for this one rather than you said people people thought Rome was wearing a swastika. I thought it was something that looked like a swastika. No, it is. I didn't expect it to be an actual swastika. Please respond. Morty Leibowitz is not happy. It's fair that Morty Leibowitz is not happy.

I gave him a please respond. Oh, okay, Morty Leibowitz. He's not a new Tesla owner. I try my best to keep antithesis of this website. Oh, yeah, that is a bad typo. By the way. Very Freudian. Frank, last night.

Have you guys ever gone to a game with him? No. Yes. It is. Three days in a row. It is a treat. Really? Is he like an A-list celebrity there?

It's a whole new audience that's never heard his jokes. Oh, yeah. So he was killing it. He was going through the whole routine? He was calling him Steve Trash and everyone was laughing. That's awesome. It was so fucking funny.

The Nick Clankston is insane. He was doing the Clank on every single Nick Clankston. People were just laughing so hard. Did he go open town? on the pre-tour? Can you find one of those Clanks that I got? He started the game 0 for 10. 0 for 9 was the playoff record.

That's insane. Nine in a row. And it was a home game, and then Frank was heckling a guy, and then he went 0 for 10. Yeah. Somebody on his own team. Yeah. And then when he hit it, it was like they won the title.

It was awesome. He also, Nick Clankston, like, some of those misses were not bad. Like, they were like in and outs and shit. Here's Frank. Clank. He's doing that every time he went up. Clank. And he would actually miss.

Dude, every time he'd miss. Yeah, there's no way there's must have been a hero and then go find the one that hey he's going nuts Oh my god It was fun Like it was fun Being with Frank

There he is right there Cause people really just They don't know his jokes And so when he Unloads the clip It was People A good heckler

Can take over a section At a sporting event too Really can Like if somebody's Really funny Or doing like really well Like they will fucking completely dominate a section.

What? What are these people? What's going on? Mickey Glazer? Is it? Mickey Glazer. Damn. Why'd you give her such a mean mug?

She, like, gave, like, a sorry for being here look to you after you just mean mugged the fuck out of her. There's no way she could see me. What are you talking about? Are you a comedian? That was rough, Sass. It's, uh, tinted. Is she a comedian?

Big time. You can see in here. Big time. Do you think you're funnier than her? No. I think you might be. It's tinted. Shit comedian? Big time. You can see in here. Big time. You think you're funnier than her? No. I think you might be. She is a woman. Turn the mics off. You think you're funnier than her? Of course. Alright, turn them back on.

That sexy shit does not fly, Brandon. What the fuck, bro? What happened? You're right though, Ron. A true heckler that can just... He has... It's the timing more than anything. It's the pauses in the game when you get a little silence.

It's an intoxicating feeling when you are that guy, too. The star of a section in a sporting event is... It's unattainable, almost. It's really rare. It feels great. When you can get it, you're the fucking man. The only time I ever had that was at Wrigley, and I announced the whole section that Buzz Aldrin died, and everyone was like, whoa.

That guy's a star. Like, holy shit. You almost got lucky there that he died, and you could announce that. Yeah, no, it was total luck. That's how Dave heard about you. That's how you got hired at Barstool. He's like, wow, that guy just broke Buzz Aldrin's dick. Clap for me.

Yeah, but I've been that way. The ultimate butterfly effect. What if they hadn't faked the moon landing and he wouldn't? Was it Buzz or Neil? Who's dead? It was Neil. It was Neil. Neil.

It was Neil. My bad. Buzz might still be living. I always screw those two up. It was Neil Armstrong. Buzz has got to still be living. How about a guy named Buzz going to the moon? I think Neil died like 2013, 2014, something like that.

Yeah, that was right around then. But how about like, what are the odds of a guy named Buzz going to the moon? I think it has to be a guy named Buzz going to the moon? I think Neil died like 2013, 2014, something like that. Yeah, that was right around then. But what are the odds of a guy named Buzz going to the moon? I think it had to be a guy named Buzz. But then Buzz Lightyear is completely based off him and the historic... Is that true? Oh, definitely. There would never be an astronaut named Buzz if it wasn't for the other guy named Buzz who was an astronaut. That's got a point.

You think? Yeah, you're right. You're probably right. I think it was a coincidence. No way. There's only one other Buzz. Who? Home Alone.

But is Buzz an astronaut or is he a spaceman? Because he is from space. He's from space. He's got a toy. No, but he's a human. He's got a shh. Aren't they making a whole movie? Oh, yeah.

It's coming out. The preview has been in movie theaters like two years. There's no Toy Story movie? No, it's just called Lightyear. It looks awesome. No, you've got to watch the trailer. It just said pass. You've got to watch the trailer.

Brother, I don't know what you misconstrued. It looks awesome. J.K. Rowling's doing it. I think it's Chris Pratt that plays him. Oh, definitely pass. I don't agree with his politics. And how he treated Anna Faris or whatever. Also playing Mario.

Chris Evans. He's playing... Chris Evans? All right, I'm down with that guy, I think. Pratt's playing Mario, that's correct. Fuck Mario. They just delayed that movie. Pratt's also playing...

How can they have a non-Italian playing Mario? They got Seth Rogen playing Donkey Kong, too. How can they have a non-8 playing... Wait, no, but seriously, that should be... Roan, you're stand up for your people. An Italian? Yeah. It's literally a non-Italian playing an Italian caricature, a plumber.

How could you have that happen? I mean, Tom Cruise was in The Last Samurai, you know what I mean? That's true. Fucking Hollywood goes crazy these days. He's a good-looking guy. Billy football? I would love to see an Italian American protest on Mario being like, how can they do this?

Those protests exist already. Oh yeah, but never like it's not for Italians. Christopher Columbus was a good guy. All right. Genocide is part of the whole fucking thing. Part of the deal you sign up for when you get born. All right. Jesus Christ.

All right. Who Christ. All right. Who even are the Italian actors anymore? There's no Italian actors. They're all 80. Yes. Yeah. There used to be ghosts. De Niro and...

Stallone. It's a pretty good cast. What was this? Mario? Not a vowel to end any of their names. Wait. How is Keegan-Michael Key Toad? I thought Toad was...

Honestly, Sebastian Maniscalco should be the one playing Mario. Yeah, Spike is a relevant character. Yeah, right? It should be Maniscalco. Wait, who's that guy? Maniscalco should be Mario. Who's that guy playing a block?

Charles Martin. That's the guy that voiced Mario originally in the video game. He's playing Mr. D. That guy's playing a block. That guy looks like a fucking Mick himself, dude. I can't. That guy's got some light eyebrows to be saying, it's a me.

Yeah, I do like Charlie Day as Luigi. It is weird that he's not playing Mario. Why would they not have him play Mario? Who? Sebastian. Wait, who's Cranky Kong? I feel like he'd be a great Mario. Is that Donkey Kong's grandpa?

Did Fred Armisen get... Eh, maybe not. Canceled? I thought he did. Fred Armisen? Maybe not Canceled? I thought he did Fred Armisen? I like Portlandia I think it's a very funny show And Documentary Now Is also funny as fuck

Documentary Now Is so fucking funny Portlandia hasn't had New episodes in forever though Maybe it's It might be done I think they might have Pivoted to Documentary Now

Because it's like The same kind of crew With similar looking premises Oh really? What's it on? IFC I think Okay Documentary Now Check it out You sounded very smart When you just described kind of crew with similar looking premises. Oh really? What's it on? IFC I think. Okay. Documentary now. Check it out.

You sounded very smart when you just described a show on IFC. Even just saying IFC. I would never watch a show on IFC. Portlandia was a crack rock and then there's another one that's really good on there. It was a what? When Dave and I did a maybe 2014

we went and toured all the Hollywood we were pitching the rundown. We went to IFC and I did a, maybe 2014, we went and toured all the Hollywood. We were pitching the rundown. We went to IFC. And I remember we were in a meeting, and they said something. They bashed the Gronkowskis or something, and Dave was meeting over. I can't remember the exact specifics, but I remember that we were at IFC, and they said something about the Gronks, and it was like from that moment on, it was like, no.

Not our type of people. Was Gronk a big thing in 2014? Hell yeah. I guess he was already. When was he drafted? 2011 maybe. Is he that old? I don't know how old he is.

I would say that was like the height of. The height of Gronkowski. Yeah, like Gronk going to Blackout Tour. Being frat boy. Fucking Baby Jones. Yeah. The height of Gronkowski. Yeah, like Gronk going to blackout tour. Being frat boy. Fucking Bibby Jones. Yeah. Frat boy Gronk. Yeah, he's kind of cooled down.

Did him and Aaron Hernandez, did they win a Super Bowl together? Did Hernandez win a Super Bowl? They went. Oh, they lost. Oh, they went. They lost to Giants, right? Okay, so he never won one. Hernandez?

Hernandez? They went from 0-4 to – He was on a team that beat Seattle. 0-4 to what in winning it? There was a big gap, right? 15? They won in 2001, 2003, 2004, and then they won again against Seattle in 2014. I think the Broncos won that year.

Or 2015. No, 16. 16 was – this is like mike francesa 16 16 january 6th of 2016 was broncos okay so i'm off seahawks beat the broncos the year before seahawks had already won no it was later seahawks won then broncos won then patriots beat seahawks the patriots won three times in five years, basically, in alternated years. Ron, what year did the Eagles win?

17. It went Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots. I feel very confident about that. Seahawks killed the Broncos first. Broncos came back the next year, beat the whoever's, and then the Patriots beat the Seahawks.

When did the Patriots beat the Falcons? The year before they beat the Seahawks. That was 2017, I believe. The Pats beat the Rams chronologically back. The Eagles beat the Patriots. Can you just pull it up? We just see the Super Bowl winner. There's people going, being infuriated.

I've already lost where we're at. I never watched a down of the Eagles Super Bowl. Never watched a singles. Why? Right before the Super Bowl started, I cooked all my food. I grilled my steaks. I grilled my wings. My five-year-old at the time stuck a marble so far up his nose.

It had to be taken to the emergency room, and I spent that much time at the emergency room. Didn't watch a down of it. All right, so let's see. You've got – is that – I threw a Super Bowl party for Seattle-Denver. Oh, I was wrong. I bet so much money on Denver, and it was the worst Super Bowl party ever.

It went Seahawks-Patriots-Broncos. It got bad right away. It was just everyone was, like, having a terrible time because I was just being miserable and crank. You didn't even say that, Steven. You just – I knew that you were wrong. But you didn't even say anything. You didn't offer an alternative. You didn't even say that, Steven. I knew that you were wrong. But you didn't even say anything. You didn't offer an alternative. You can't crotch-chop me.

But you crotch-chopped me and you didn't say it. You didn't have a crotch-chop. You didn't have a counter position. Steven, what is that intoxicating pullover you have on? It's a Barstool one and I got a Bucs patch on it. How'd you get a Bucs logo on there? He made it himself. You put a Bucs patch on a Barstool?

Yeah. Is that illegal? Can we do that? No. Trying to steal my swag? It's worse than a swastika pin, brother. Swastika thing was crazy. Why?

Do you want to get a Barstool one and put that swastika on there? Why? What's crazy about being anti-Nazi, bro? I'm 70% Jewish, by the way. Did I tell you guys this? How'd you come to that number? Fucking DNA testing. Did you find out that that doctor in Indianapolis is your dad?

I'm not 30. Well, I've previously said I was 30%. Turns out it's 70%. That doctor in Indianapolis, your dad? No, no. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Oh, you weren't here last week when we talked. There's a new Netflix show coming out.

There's a fertility clinic in small town Indianapolis where everyone did 23andMe and they found out that the doctor had been using his cum. He was just fucking their mom. That's hilarious. He had like 60 kids. That's awesome. They were all like... Is there a movie about that?

It's coming out soon. They were all in their 30s and some of them were dating. Oh, there's an old movie with Vince Vaughn about that. I am interested. He's got like 200 kids. Are you talking about swingers? In the NBA. Swingers?

No. Swingers. You thought you were 30% Jewish, but you're actually 30% non-Jewish. Yes. So how did you figure that out? Don't worry about it. I feel like that's the crux of the conversation here. You just gave all your DNA over to the government like that?

Wow, Jack Mack's going to be pissed, brother. He's going to be so pissed. He's not going to want to talk to you. I don't do it because I'm worried about the backlash from Jack Mack. Same. I don't want him up my ass. It's not fucking 23 and we, bro. It's 23 and me.

Facts. Where'd you give it? Did you give blood or semen? A little bit of this Little bit of that The whole Alaskan oil pipeline? Gross dude It's an inside joke

You guys wouldn't get it Damn it That's a boy dad reference Damn it You guys have a lot of merch Fuck yeah We wear a different one every day It's good merch too

It's very high quality merch. Some of them are coming out. This shit does sell like fucking hotcakes though when it comes out. There's so many people asking about them. That one looks awesome. These are like really nice quality. And they sell out immediately

whenever we put them on sale. But we don't put them on sale. That's the paradox. It's kind of like our little thing, our little tease that we're doing. You can't buy it so you can take down the thing because these are not for sale. And I don't know if they ever will be.

Dude, Big Cat, you've got to come on another episode. I'm in. Oh, yeah, we're having you on this week. This week? Yeah. When? Thursday. Okay.

No, I'm kidding. Aren't you busy on Thursday? Guys, I'm always available. But, no, we had you on more recently than Big Cat. I've never been on Boy Dad. Yes, you were in the Super Bowl, dumbass. You came on in L.A. for like five minutes. No, it was longer than that.

I just walked into the studio accidentally when you guys were recording. You were a featured guest. The numbers did very well. Brandon, remember when you pretended to be a soundboard? That was maybe the funniest thing you've ever done in your life. That was really funny. Do it again. Thanks, Boy Cat.

I wasn't here. No. It means a lot coming from you. You were more passionate. It was so good. Fuck. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in It means a lot coming from you. You were more passionate. It was so good. Fuck. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in.

That would be sick, dude. That would be very helpful for us. We already have a guest lined up for next week. Who? It's a secret. I don't even know, brother. You coming to Vegas with us? Didn't get invited.

Mm, tough. Usually you just go where Rome goes. What are you guys doing in Vegas? The Canelo fight. Oh, so probably not. On DAZN. On DAZN. And the pre-show.

On DAZN. That'll be free on YouTube. Oh, damn. Everybody can watch it. How are you guys going? Next Wednesday night. So Thursday, next Thursday, you and Brandon will have to steer the ship. And then Friday we're going to run our taped episode.

Taped time. So that means next Thursday's episode is going to be me, Sass, and Frank. On an edible, probably. Yeah, probably. Yeah, on an edible. $80,000. No show on Friday. Friday will be a taped episode, which is very funny.

Take some time off, Sass. Take Friday off. You deserve it, bro. You've worked for, what, two days in a row now? We're not going to have a show. We're not going to have a show. We are 70%. I was going to go out of town on Friday night, but now I guess I'll go on Thursday night.

Wow. We really need $100,000 because I really want a case race again. That would be so fun. So badly. I have an update on that. Nick Mangold does not have a house in Dewey Beach it's in Bethany Beach is that lying?

I just assumed you don't know the difference I'm not going to Bethany that's chick shit he said that he's going to be boots on the ground there in June and he's happy to help scout locations why don't you rent us a house then if he's such an NFL player with such a beard.

We're a line hall of famer. We should get Shane Gill. I do like the idea of having guests on the case races going forward. That would be very funny. Yeah, what would be – it's just going to be the same rules, everything? Yeah. If you do 30? 30 with teams of three?

I love that pitch to guests. Hey, come get drunk with us For what? No reason Yeah It's fun Does well I'm pretty sure

I'm pretty sure Teams of three would be fun Because it would be more of a race But More of a sprint Yeah I really almost puked Can we do same teams?

I would love to do same teams Peace I bet you would You fucking got your Your ass carried the entire time Oh don't say that I'm saying I had 11

Big head 13 I had 19, Big Cat did 13. I had 19. Very obvious. I had five. Brandon, you weren't here. Oh, I wasn't here, but I saw it clearer than anybody. You had Big Cat on your team. I had 10 beers.

I had the third most beers out of anybody. You had this guy. That's not true. Yes, it is. Rone had one. Booth had 10. You had half of one. You basically hopped on this horse and you said ride.

I had TJ. You said ride, horse, ride. TJ had more than you. Owen had half of one. You basically hopped on this horse and you said ride. I had TJ. You said ride, horse, ride. TJ had more than you. Owen had more than you. Big Cat had more than you. Dana had more than you. So many people had more than you. Also, I didn't have to be here to know what happened here.

No, you did. It was videotaped. It was all written. Have you guys seen Publicity's vlogs from Paris? Oh, yeah. She's back from Paris. Back from Paris. Go check out her vlogs from Paris.

To Paris? What'd she go to Paris for? Content? Do you think girls going to Paris is like dudes going to the Masters? Definitely. It's like- 100%. Yeah, or like the Rose Bowl.

Yeah, it's like a very must-do. It's like there. Where are some other cities? I love- We're going to go to Paris. Charleston. Where else do girls really like to go? Paris is the ultimate.

Paris is the one. Paris is the Mecca. Yeah, probably the Masters. That's probably the Masters. Yeah, where it's like, oh, I want to go and I'm going to shop and I'm going to drink coffee at a cafe. Paris is awesome. Fucking jelly. Yeah, going to meet a Parisian dude.

Been to Paris? I have. It's awesome. I have. It's awesome. Where would you rather go than the Masters? Paris. I would probably go to've been to Paris? I have. It's awesome. Where would you rather go than the Masters? Paris. I would probably go to the Waste Management Open.

Yeah. I would like to go to the Masters. Nice Mac game on a Tuesday night. Yeah. Bowling Green. Arsenal Sports, Ohio. Arizona Bowl. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Kalamazoo, Michigan. I can't wait for the Arizona Bowl. Fuck yes. When is that? That'd be awesome. Later on this year. Yeah.

I don't know. It's later on this year. I got to jump out of an airplane. Damn. That was really... That's a future problem. Real future problem. Yeah, that's a big time future problem.

Don't even worry about that. Plus, you'll be a lot skinnier then, too. You might not even have airplanes by then, honestly. That's true. This shit's progressing. Turbulence. Turbulence. Turbulence is getting bad. Aliens are fucking getting better.

Spacecraft. Yeah, aliens are seconds away from taking over this world anyway. Yeah, they are. They're here for the nukes. I have an interesting question on the prep sheet towards the bottom if you want to explore that. All right. Well, let's look at that. Rone, how was your birthday?

Oh, very interesting. Towards the bottom, please. Are recliners really nice or too much? I think it's a little bit above that. Rone, how was your birthday? Oh, very interesting. Are recliners really nice or too much? I think it's a little bit above that. Che, you want to just read the question? Different color of cotton candy actually tastes different. It's fair. I think one above that. How many fucking... Che, just ask

the question. What would your strategy be? If you had to get dropped into a seven foot ball pit from ten feet up of any candy and you'd have to survive and eat your way out, what would you want it to be? What would your strategy be? Oh, wow. I'm thinking about it like those claw games like that.

Reese's Pieces. You get dropped from the top. I think Bunch O' Crunch is mine. Don't you think if you're in there with chocolate and the chocolate starts melting, it could turn into quicksand? Yeah, you would die. You're talking about the cups or the M&M type things? M&M type things.

I didn't stutter. I said Reese's Pieces. That's the M&M type things. Yes. They both will melt. I don't think they melt the same way, though. They don't. I mean, they definitely don't.

They don't melt as much as, you know. It's bare chocolate. You could just turn your legs. It's chocolate on naked. If you knew how to tread water, you could just turn your legs and turn it into a fine butter like the mouse that got out of the. I don't know. I think Reese's Pieces would just wear you out almost immediately.

I could eat so many of those. Yeah. A foot of them. Yeah, easily. It'd be tough. If you start eating them, doesn't the level of the food go down? So how do you get out? That's how that works.

How do you get out, though? You have to eat everything. Yeah. You survive. You also had an edible yesterday, I guess, during the show. Me? Yeah, this is the trippiest, most donored out question of all time. I think I would do something with multiple flavors.

What made you think of this? Like what? I don't think it's the trippiest thing. Jolly Ranchers. Jolly Ranchers, you would never be able to eat that many Jolly Ranchers. And you'd be sticky. And they're jagged and hard. And you'd hurt yourself.

That might be the worst. You don't think you'd be sticky with Reese's Pieces? Not the way that Jolly Ranchers is. Not nearly as sticky. What's your answer, Steven? I'm imagining you dropped it in your back. So it's like one of those claw machine games. This is one of those questions, by the way, where there probably isn't any right answers.

There's definitively wrong answers, like Jolly Rancher. I was thinking more just different flavors. You're going to eat a bunch of Jolly Ranchers. Go ahead. What would you do, Steven? So I think there's a few different strategies. You could go the Reese's Pieces or the Skittles are out, like a round candy. Skittles would be terrible, too, because the spit.

That's true. Skittles and Reese's Pieces are not that dissimilar. They absolutely are. They absolutely are. If I gave you like a bowl full of Skittles and a bowl full of Reese's Pieces you would not be able to finish a bowl full of Skittles.

It is a tougher chew. You also get the stomach ache. Viscosity of the spit? The viscosity. All right, fair enough. I think that maybe if you had some type of chocolate bar that had a marshmallow in it, so the marshmallow, when you eat the marshmallow, you're taking up more space and it's lighter. Is that a Charleston chew?

Maybe a Charleston chew, something that is a little bit lighter. That would melt. That would melt. If everything's really heavy and dense, though, it's going to be harder to eat through. You also want a softer candy, so it's not as gummy bear type situation. Maybe cotton candy. I think cotton candy could be. Cotton candy doesn't.

So I think the problem with Reese's Pieces or Skittles in this situation, if you're trying to tread seven feet, you're going to get overwhelmed. You're going to suffocate. No, I'll eat them. I'll go with Milowafers. A foot? That's a cookie. Six three? Still, not really scalable. I was thinking maybe I'll go with mill away first. A foot? That's a cookie. What are you, 6'3"? And? Still. Not really like scaling. So I was thinking like maybe Starburst, so it'd be wrapped and you'd just get injured

on the fall. You'd have to unwrap all of them? Hell no. No. Starburst is not going to be more comfortable. Starburst would be way harder. If they're stacked, or you go with like a big candy bar like a Hershey's or something like that, so you won't actually drown in it.

Is that what you just do? You dab? Why wouldn't you bar like a Hershey's or something like that so you won't actually drown in it. Is that what you just do? You dab? Why wouldn't you drown in a Hershey's? Because it's like... No, they have to be unwrapped to make it even. Yeah, but there's still air in between the pockets. Now I want to touch some melt. With seven feet of Reese's Pieces, there's no air.

There's no air space. You're literally suffocating on it. I do pop rocks and then I just piss and it melts them all. Oh's no airspace. You're literally suffocating on it. I do pop rocks and I just piss and it knocks them off. Oh, that's smart. Ooh. I don't know. Imagine it was pop rocks in your eyes. I just dabbed for no reason. I thought it was...

I love it. Dude, I saw a video speaking of this cotton candy question. I saw a video of a woman making cotton candy in her dryer. This shit fucked me up. Oh, I saw that, too. That sounds awesome. Saw that same video. Maybe we try and pull it up. It's like a TikTok or something like that.

A TikTok trend, I think. And this, yeah, it's like a southern housewife type of thing where it's like, y'all are going to love this one. And she just pours like a quart of sugar into her fucking raw dryer. It's just straight sugar. And then like some food coloring. And then pulls out the fucking lint protector and there's just

cotton candy that she peels off and she's like, oh my god, it's just like the stadium. It's just like the ballpark. She's southern. She's southern as fuck, dude.

It's probably good. Obviously. Oh, you probably love her. Look at this. Oh yeah. I saw this. Turn it off. I want to see.

It's so good. Oh my god. Oh my god. I saw this. There's no way that works. There's no way that's fucking good or clean. I feel like I would explode just orange soda. Or what? I'm sorry, blue soda? Bro. You colorblind?

Don't fucking call me out. Soda looks awesome. What I'm sorry blue soda Soda looks awesome actually make blue sun she actually spit it Like putting foil in a dryer is probably a fire To be in a dryer is probably a fire risk. They didn't actually show it. True. One of the ones they show it. There's a bunch. Damn, bro.

A bunch. Oh my gosh. I think she's all that Southern. I think she's fake Southern and I think she's a fraud cotton candy fan. She's like Indiana Southern. Yeah, that was debunked. They definitely bought that at the stadium and, like, ironed it out and put it under some. Oh, my God.

That's just like stadium candy. This reminds me of Bear Bryant. Why do the Alabama women wear houndstooth? What's that all about? They all wear the fucking Bear Bryant shit. Why do you have so much disdain in your voice? Because they're a fucking cult. I mean, you guys ring cowbells.

We're a cult, too. We're just not as successful. Yeah, you're a cult, as in, like, you worship the fucking devil. Yeah, dark sciences. We're not a cult. You're a cult. A cult. We're a cult, not a occult as in like you worship the fucking devil. Yeah, dark sciences. We're not occult. We're occult. You all are occult of the occult. I think I'm doing an impression

of myself when I say these words. We're occult, not occult. No, you're occult. Like Peyton Manning. But what about Sam Williams though? That DN from Ole Miss. What about him? He's a fucking beast, dude, that DN from Ole Miss? What about him?

He's a fucking beast, dude. See the Wunderlich scores? What about it? Oh, you're going to do that? See the Wunderlich score? What about it? Did he have a bad one? Matt Corral. All the Ole Miss dudes are dumb, you're saying?

Yeah, he has a level of bad decision-making. They went to Ole Miss. He has a very low Wunderlich score. Dang. What was A.J. Brown and D.K. Metcalf? There's my guy, Bailey Zappi. I fucking love him. He's a legend low underlick score. Dang. What was A.J. Brown and D.K. Metcalf's? It was my guy, Bailey Zappi. I fucking love him. He's a legend.

Zappi. Dude, Bailey Zappi is the best. Yeah, he's a beast. He put up numbies. Numbies. He put up yachts. That was Peter Griffin. Yachts.

He put up a ton of yachts. I didn't know you had Peter Griffin in you. I didn't either, honestly. I had no idea. Fucking Bailey Zappi. Can't wait for the fucking draft. I got to fucking pound. I mean, I'm almost done with tape.

Thursday night, 8 o'clock. Just have to do some research. Barstool NFL Draft Show. NFL Draft Show. Featuring Stephen Che. Featuring Stephen Che. Featuring, yeah. And you guys. I guess hosted by me, Rowan, and Stephen Che.

Yep. Featuring a new keyboardist this year who we will not announce. Right? I heard him practicing over and over and over and over and over and over. Oh, yeah. Nope. Che. Big J. Where? Big Jay?

Where's he sitting? I think that he'll have, like, an area. Like, by you guys? Studio. You know how Big F sits in the college football show? I think it'll be like that. That's not going to work. I don't know how.

I don't know. He's going to want to converse the whole time. We've got to block assault for him. It'll keep him. Yeah, you guys didn't think that one out. No, he'll be playing the piano. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm just going to unplug it.

He won't react to anything. Well, some teams don't have a first-round pick. That's true. Yeah, the Dolphins, yeah, he'll find something to get mad at. I mean, yeah, he'll just be making his jokes. Hopefully he has a whole new, you know, hopefully the writer's room is working overtime. We'll release the tank cut afterwards of all of his jokes.

Yeah, he can just whisper it into a mic. Yeah, that would be great. You know, release it as, like, one shining moment, the rolling credits. We need to put him in, like, a soundproof booth, like a cry room or something like that, where he can just be in there and kind of get it off his chest, but it also doesn't necessarily affect the flow of the show. But it's going to be a great show. What did we do when Rico had that room to himself?

Which one? What was that event that we did? It was like a Black Friday, oh, Black Friday. Yeah, Black Friday telethon. Cyber Monday. Why, are you thinking about getting a new office? No, I was just thinking about that. I was wondering where that was from.

You want your own room, don't you? You want your own room? No. You get two days in a row, and you're like, why do I have an office yet? I'm on a hot streak here. Tomorrow's a winning streak for you. All right. Relax, a winning streak for you. All right.

Relax, but I already heard that out and about is going to try and take the part of my take studio when you. Oh, when I move to Chicago tomorrow. Yeah.

When you leave out and about is going to move in there like hermit crabs. There's going to like fucking scuttle in there. How do you think our boys are doing?

Speaking of which. Oh, I think that sounds like a long trip. Let's see how they're doing. Two weeks? They're still in the first place? Yeah. That's terrible.

They're in Tampa right now. Why would they sign up for this? It's such a little prize. Actually, no, it's a great show. I can't be able to answer. See you, Steven. Bye, Steven. Hey, what's up?

Hey, we just wanted to... Our meandering conversation landed on you guys And seeing how you guys are doing Oh we're doing well how's the meandering going Good we were kind of wondering Has Joey sucked any of your dicks yet So I caught Joey With his mouth around the very start

Of my dick so I was like I like Waited for him to look up and see that I caught him. So like 10 minutes passed and then like he looked up and he was so fucking scared. Oh, wow. Are you guys, is Kyle staying close enough around to do the challenges? He disappeared yet.

I haven't seen him in two days. Okay. That makes sense. How'd you like Wawa, Nick? Well, T-U to Wawa. No sheets. Why? What the heck, dude?

Wawa will never be sheets. Wawa's so much better than sheets. You sound ridiculous. You can't show your face in Pittsburgh anymore. Dude, that's how we should drive the stake between Frank the Tank and Nick and KB. Frank loves Wawa. There's a fracture on that team, on that fucking unbeatable trivia team.

Don't you feel like our diversity is what makes us special? Diversity is overrated. Yeah, you guys don't really have much diversity. You all like gas food. Gas station food. You sound so naive, Big Cat. I can't wait for you to look back at this, and you're going to be embarrassed of this clip

What did the wheel end on? Oh, we almost got swirly Yeah, we almost got swirly We got swirly You guys have to do one Yeah, you got to do it now Don't worry about it, bro 25

I'm about to throw up the latest birthday post on Instagram Don't worry about it bro 25 That's love dude Put up that good ass picture of us Where we look jacked as fuck That's just how my lips are Yeah See if you can post something Where Rona's maybe wearing a swastika.

Try to keep that going. Yeah, so I have a few more of those. So who would have known that a swastika, a bold black and white swastika with a very thin lead line through it would be taken the wrong way? Yeah, count me as someone who would have known because I told KB he couldn't wear that hat on stage. Hey, we're about to go film something, but busting on your stomach is fucking disgusting.

Yes, thank you. You should go to jail. Yeah, no, no. Brandon's new nickname is Cum Belly. He's Cum Belly. That's not surprising at all. Nick's scared of his own cum. Nick doesn't cum.

You know the nook and crannies that Brandon has in that thing? Yeah. He's Cum Belly. He's not getting fully clean. He's not getting fully clean. He's not getting fully clean. Yes, I am. I'm thoroughly showering after every one. Just relax.

It's a natural state. CB Walker. Don't lie. If you lift a fold, I bet you could find a mushroom. Yeah, for sure. Well, that exists with or without cum. Trip for days off his cum mushroom. Old Twinkie.

Ew. All right. See you, Nick. Be well. See you, guys. All right. All right. All right. That's that. Ew Alright See you Nick Be well Alright Garrett Alright That's that

I'll see everyone tomorrow Yep I'm ready for the draft It's gonna be great I'm excited Gotta do some research I gotta get a laptop dude They took my laptop

Telling me they gave me a new one You don't have a laptop right now Listen to the Dave Portnoy show tonight Stop freaking out Yes Everything's gonna be good I love you all Bye Big Cat new one. I don't have a laptop right now. Listen to the Dave Portnoy Show tonight. Stop freaking out. Yes. Everything's going to be good. I love you all.

Bye, Big Cat. Remember to co-sign my loan, Big Cat. Bye, Big Cat. Bye, Big Cat. Bye, Big Cat. We'll be right back. Subscribe.