The Yak - The Legend of The World Famous Monkey Boy | The Yak 10-7-22

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hell yeah, there's the Yak. It's the Yak. Hell yeah. There's the pics. Yeah. It's the Yak. Barstool Big Cat. That's me. Big Cat.

Dan Katz. Dan's out. Fire off a round. Fire off a round. One time. Get this man in Tombstone. Nice. Quiet Earp. I want to do one. All right. I want man in Tombstone. Nice. Quiet Earp.

I want to do one. All right. I want to do one now. Oh, shit. Not realistic. You've never done that. She's never shot a gun. Fair enough.

Fine. Fine. Owen, what's your gun? What's that? Oh, my God. Oh, that's a brand new way of sitting. Oh, shit. What did you get like that? Oh, that's a brand new way of sitting. Oh, shit. What did you get like that?

We were just sitting five seconds ago. We promised a new way of sitting, and yeah, it just dropped. All right. Everybody submit your, what's this pose called? It's not quite a gargoyle. Is it poison dart? It's a poison dart. Or a sentry?

Poison dart frog? Oh, a sentry. Sentison dart frog? Or a sentry. Sentry. I don't know. It's people that don't think poison dart frogs are actually poisonous. Mm-hmm. Yep. It's one of my biggest pet peeves when people confuse venomous and poisonous.

Mm-hmm. What is the difference? Not me, because I think it's pretty synonymous. No. Poisonous is if you eat it, it gets you sick. Venomous, they bite you with venom. I'd say Rudy's venomous. No, it gets you sick. Venomous, they bite you with venom. I'd say Rudy's venomous.

No, it's venom. You're doing this to piss me off. I can eat crack. You're being a dickhead. I can inject it, and it's still the same shit. No, but a poison dart frog can bite you, and you're not going to get hurt. Okay, okay.

But if you ate a poison dart frog, your tum-tum's going to be in shambles, dude My hips are Yeah, get down I gotta get down It'll get you gummy tummy Right Isn't it fun sitting like that? No

It's good for the open up the hips though Yeah, definitely And it's good to open up the show Um Za? Yes, sir? Fat Bear Week is getting some attention Yeah

It was on Newsweek Oh, really? Some people think it's problematic That they're making fun of the bear's weight. And the guy had to go on and say that it's a good thing that the bears are fat. We're fat shaming in 2022? Yeah. I thought that was done out here. I know.

I know. Isn't fatness like a sign of power in bears? Isn't that a good thing? They want to be fat for hibernation. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They're doing well. I would not do well as a bear.

No. No. They would. They would. They would. More of an otter. They would cast you out. Yeah. Bring up ot. They're doing well. I would not do well as a bear. No. No. They would- More of an otter. They would cast you out. Yeah. Bring up otters.

It wouldn't last the whole winter. Yeah, no way. That's my big joke at like 7-Eleven when I'm buying a bunch of snacks and ice cream and they're checking me out and I always say, just bulking up for winter. And they always laugh. Always laugh. Always have a good chuckle. I heard there's some- oh, Zob, maybe this is true or not.

The water levels are too high for the bears to get enough salmon. There's a whole lot of shit going on. Yesterday we had a big scandal with the 854 divot. The picture that they took for his after is not what he looked like on the live stream the night before. So people were like, all right, they fucked up the vote and he actually lost. Really? Yeah. Cheating is making a rapid comeback. It was huge in the 2000s.

It kind of like fell off. It was shamed in the late 90s. Huge in the 2000s when McGuire I feel like that was sort of the pinnacle. It was the guy that scammed Whammy. Is that what the show's called? Press Your Luck. Press Your Luck. He scammed that in the late 80s.

90s cheating was taboo, faux pas. 2000s, Maguire, Sosa, back in fashion. Pretty made off. Yeah. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Yeah. A lot.

And then it went dormant for a bit. Yeah. Right. I feel like the last 10 years, it's... Although the Russians... Oh, the Astros. The Russians and the Astros. Yeah, Right. I feel like the last 10 years, it's... Although the Russians... Oh, the Astros. The Russians and the Astros. Yeah, I'm just saying shit.

Now it's... Now that we're talking about it, it's sort of always been in. Yeah. Now it's coming to a full head. We got anal beads. Yeah, I think it's more shameless cheating.

Usually you could cheat without doing any gay shit, and now it's just like, I'm going to do anal beads. Yeah, and it's also... I don't know. Imagine using anal beads to... that's a really far way to go to cheat and if you're gonna use anal beads it better be something cooler than chess it's gotta be something on the flip side if there is a way you can use anal beads to cheat and win that's a win-win to you i don't know how

he used them i didn't read the story, if there's a way you can find, like, if you can cheat in chess, that's more impressive than being good at chess. This guy found a way to cheat and also massage his prostate.

Yeah. Yeah, which is pretty cool. Yeah, he's a grandmaster in my eyes. For the dozen, if you guys need help. Yeah. I could buzz you

from wherever. That's one of the things. Jeff actually checks our assholes before every match. He does, he does. Yep. And he's been rough with it lately. he has been fist it yeah he just really rips it up um that's true

uh i think today is going to be kb resume day if we workshop boys in the booth do we have the ability can we just pull up microsoft word and maybe I think, you know, this is going to be fun picking out typefaces, size. Maybe we do justified here and there. No, no. Let me get this out of the way. No thin skin shit, but you chill with texting me. I know my number leaked and that's on me, but it's kind of ruining my life in some aspects. I mean, most of them are either just creepy or complimentary,

but there are some people that are just dickheads. Some guy sent some out-of-pocket shit to you yesterday. It's a bold move. Live, while the yak was happening. This has happened every once in a while. Well, you have their number. I have your number, and I can hurt you significantly, even if I don't announce it on air.

The strategy. Just deal with the weird shit. People talking I don't announce it on air. The strategy. The strategy. Just deal with the weird shit. People talking shit on me and other Yak members while I'm on the Yak. Dude, I have your number and I went to you

and I can figure out your Snapchat name and your government name. Stop that. In fact, apologize or maybe I will do something. Wait.

Tell that person to call in with an apology. Yeah. I want to hear his voice tremble. No, there's been a few people that will just talk shit on the yak, talk shit on me, talk shit on you guys. Not me. I mean, not me.

Never you guys. Probably me. No, no, no. This strategy you're doing will definitely work. It'll stop now. I'm saying, what is your problem? That's not mental illness that's mental challenge how are you that stupid what is going like what are you thinking is going to come

of that what's the last one you got that triggered this like there it's been happening for like six months is there one that's like really yesterday i'm coming off our live show i got no sleep i was hung over as hell and i'm like struggling and then i open up a text and see some fucked up shit stop that you fool luckily now I have the energy I got some good sleep yeah not yet we'll see oh we'll see your yeah all right that's it well did you see what she did she had this guy when she wore the suit down i forget what school they were at she wore like the pluffer suit or whatever and this guy she's like normally trolls have like a fake user account or whatever but this guy just with his regular old user account that you could see his whole profile his friends family everything

just was like you're fat you're this you're that blah blah blah like just saying like awful shit to her like a ton of it. So she's like, normally I ignore this stuff, but I'm going to reach out to every single member of his entire family. And she proceeded to screenshot, send it to his girlfriend, his grandma, his mom, whatever. And just be like, oh, that's awesome. She's like, just letting you know, I think something might be going on with him mentally that he's doing this.

Like, I'm just sending you this out of concern. That's awesome. Yeah, like whatever. That's true. And I love it. If you're going to be that dickhead, i've had guys like in the past like just with their own accounts and then as soon as i highlight them on my story they're like that's not fair take it down it's like no you're fair game bitch if you're like yourself out there like that

that bitch is fair game yeah you can dox if they're doing that to you i feel like like dox can't say dox the shit out of them whatever did any of the people reply back to grace that the grandma was like not my boy she had just she like posted a tiktok like showing the whole process and she like posted the girl like the mom the grandma like all of them she's like showed the dms that she sent and i'm for it i say you gotta go crazy on people sometimes every now and then i'm getting blown up oh no. Oh, no. I'm shocked. That's on me. I'm just surprising the very thing.

Yeah, fuck. You saw that. All right, never mind. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the people who talk shit. Oh, no, no. Like, how can,

I guess that person that talks shit on you maybe give ways Kyle can improve? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. I would take constructive feedback.

Who hosted before? Who hosted Pick Central today? Stinky Boy? Patchouli. Is that what you smell? Yeah. What is that? It's like a...

It's a hippie oil. It's a fizzy smell. Ben Mints. Ben Mints. In your seat? Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, Ben Mints. Patchouli.

I don't know what that is. It's the oil that hippies wear. I don't like the scent. You don't? I don't know what that is It's the oil that hippies wear I don't like the scent You don't? I don't know No It's just like They do it to cover up showers

I'm not saying mints do that Do it to cover up showers And weed smoke Oh okay I think if you're smoking loud You should let it be known Yeah definitely It didn't used to be that way

What is it called? You'd smell a lot of patchouli In the late 90s Okay People were very like They didn't want to That's why incense It used to be that way. What is it called? You'd smell a lot of patchouli in the late 90s. Okay. People were very like, oh, they didn't want to, you know. That's why incense was. It used to be a big thing, incense, I feel like. Yeah.

Yeah. I see there's an incense salesman that I see almost every day on my subway transfer. It's in between the 1 and the L, and that's a full underground avenue transfer, and it's an underground tunnel. And for whatever reason, he chooses to sell his incense in an extremely small, no-ventilation tunnel. So it's really stinking. Oh, he's showing off his wares. Yeah, so he hot boxes the tunnel. I don't think incense smells good.

I associate it with a crowd that I don't feel around. Yeah, that. And the church. It's like when you spray the bathroom, you think of shit. It just smells like shit and spray. it isn't really masked it's like it's is it supposed to hide that you shit because then it's just like damn it smells good in here you must have had a nasty shit i immediately think of like a lot of smells too good in here you must have had the

worst shit ever growing up in colorado a lot of people like in their high school years would have incense in their room and my thought immediately just just goes to you walk into a girl's place and she has incense, you know you're about to get a serious something's going to happen. Yeah. Not maybe good. Yeah. You're going to get a weird experience. Not in a favorable way.

Yeah. Yeah. Typically, you're dealing with someone that's mentally unstable. And they think it's sexy, but it's not. A hundred percent. Yeah. Let me light up this stick of incense. It all smells the same. Yeahestries all that that sort of goes along with that and then they're like you're you're pretty close you're scared you're gonna get like

hexed you're dealing with like a witch yeah that's do you think you've ever been hexed no i'm very uh pro like i don't fuck with spirits like that. Yeah. I immediately will roll over and show my belly. If there's any inkling that I'm going to be like hexed or cursed. You believe in spirits and stuff? Yeah, I do. Strictly out of fear. Okay. Like I don't want to talk shit about them because I don't want to give them a reason to dislike me.

So I'm always sort of just like, listen, man, I fuck with what you guys are doing. I'm an ally. Don't fuck with me. Yeah. I'm terrified of hexes. Don't want it. I'm terrified of hexes. just like listen man i fuck with what you guys are doing i'm an ally don't fuck with me yeah i'm terrified of i don't want it i'm terrified of hexes what if those are ghosts texting you kyle like what if that's what that is ghost text i know what you mean though she's gonna show your early to mid 20s you think you're intelligent you're like i don't believe in any of that shit because i'm intelligent and the older you get you're like well i don't know anything so maybe

it is real. Also, like, what's the benefit? Like, if you talk shit on spirits and ghosts, it's like, you're not going to, like, defeat them. I don't understand that. Like, you may as well just be on the side. Right. There's no...

It's like the religion argument, right? Yeah. Might as well believe in something, because if you believe in nothing, you lose either way. Yeah. Facts. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah, I don't...

Whose wager is that called? My grandma can lift curses. If anybody ever casts the Moloik on you, you would have to go to my grandma to lift it. People do. People have come by her place when I was there. But she has to teach my mom. I know she's good at what she does.

2.5 stars. On Yelp? Google review. My grandma? stars. On Yelp? Google review. My grandma? Yeah. And I didn't want to tell you. Yeah, like reviews on... Yeah, but she's the only one.

I know she doesn't know that. She's the only one that can lift curses in West Virginia. Yeah. So, yeah, people knock on the door all the time. Yeah, I went and saw Nick's grandma to get a curse lifted, and I immediately walked out and already stubbed my toe. One star. Would not recommend.

Yeah, it would have been way worse if you didn't go to her. Yeah. Zah, you know something about curses, don't you? What? Yeah, man. It's very prominent in our cultures. Yeah, you've sent out a couple curses yourself. I threaten.

So here's the thing. You have to offer a sacrifice, and for the curse curse to actually work it has to be something of value to you so you can't just be going willy-nilly kind of thing so i do threaten knowing that you know there is footage of it working working once before right what would you sacrifice like would you delete a save file on a train simulator? That might be worth it. So it's something of worth. You need collateral. Maybe quit like Carmen Electra videos for a month.

Something like that. Dude, you're a Carmen Electra guy? Me too. Big time, bro. She just followed him. No way. Dude, that was my first bust. Same thing.

No way. Literally the same thing. Hell yeah, brother. There it goes. What do you call him? Eskimo brother? No, not bust. No way. It's literally the same thing. Same thing. Hell yeah, brother. There it goes. What do you call them? Eskimo brothers? Not bust. Not bust.

No. Bust brothers, dude. Bust brothers. Yeah, dude. She opened my world. Yeah. Harmon Electra. Fiery.

Fiery. Me and my Columbus roommate had the same first bust, which was the dirty video to Christina Aguilera. Are you serious? That's a good one, too. I think Hayek has... We were not together. I understand. We just happened

to find that out. It would have been fine. It's good to have a spotter. Yeah, I guess so. Carmen Electra is quite a run because she was... I'm 42, right?

And when I was 13, 14, 15, she was hot. So the fact that she remained hot for so long when we were younger guys... And she is so back right now. I think a lot has to do with her name. That's a sexy fucking name.

Harmon Electra? Great name. God, dude. Yeah, no. What was her birth name? Can we figure that out? I don't know. That's a great question.

Yeah, if her name was like Maroon Brownstein, do you think you would have been able to bust? Maroon Brownstein. I would have been able to, but not more than once. Weirdly hot. You're going to think I'd be a late Patrick. That's hot. That's hot. That is still hot.

Is that middle picture? Is that picture on the right her currently? Oh, dude, she's still slinging it like you wouldn't believe. No way. Oh, yeah. So, Clemmer, you were high school days, late 90s. Class of 97. Who was popping?

I remember I stole a, back with VHS tapes. So I went into a Suncoast video in the mall and I stole a Jenny McCarthy. Jenny McCarthy. Oh, Jenny McCarthy. The Playboy,

like it was an hour long video. It was like basically like different like musical, music videos without any singing. And she'd get naked. There was like no penetration, but she would just basically take her clothes off.

But back then, like the idea, you you know seeing any puss at all was crazy yeah like so what we do is you'd watch that and then you'd give it you'd let your friend borrow the vhs tape and he'd let you borrow one because there wasn't internet porn yet right like you'd have to like swap these videos and people would swap magazines and sometimes you'd have a magazine you give somebody come back it's all sticky yeah like dude don't fucking jack off in the magazine is that a real thing actually sticky

yeah cause guys would get on their fingers and they'd try to close the book so you'd have like fingerprints all over it that was like a real I always thought that was I would

no it was real I was like come on man we only have so many of these cause it was it was you know it was a high quality item it was a high value item

my pat used to cut up Playboy magazines. His dad was a big magazine guy. I'm sure he's fine with me saying that. But he would cut up and bring them to school, and he would sell the individual clippings in the boys' bathroom. Would he sell just a pussy? I think so. All I have is money for pussy right now.

He would sell individual clippings to guys for however much. That's weird because Pat does not look like a porn salesman no not at all no not anyway titty emoji yeah he does not look like the highest you're just trying to get money and that's why that's better than fruit I was a I was a grade school and middle school entrepreneur I would say yeah yeah I have a I have a scar on my forehead a little perfect circle um when when quarters used to just be the eagle on the back, I would take them out to my backyard and shoot it with a BB gun to give the eagles titties. You would get two divots and the eagle would have titties. And so I would sell it for 50 cents.

So I would get my inventory back and make a quarter. And so I would sell these tittied eagles. But once I got a ricochet and I have like a BB circle scar right above my eyebrow, my mom made me quit. Imagine losing your eye. I still like a BB circle scar right above my eyebrow. My mom made me quit. Imagine losing your eye. I still have one. I have one tittied eagle left at my apartment. I'm going to have it forever.

How did you do it? Like, how did you? I put it on a stump and I knew exactly where to hit it on George Washington's face. Can we look? I want to see. How did you get the idea for this? Like, you know, just, I don't know. I just thought it would be awesome.

When you're like 12 and 13, all you're thinking about is titties. That's like right. Titties and money. My hustle was like 6th to 9th grade, I would say. There. I bought, sold, and traded sneakers with just adult Hispanic men. They were the same size. Oh, yeah.

That's probably actually profitable. It was. That's probably very profitable. I was making a lot of money, having a lot of fun. But, yeah. I was hustle-less, dude. You were hustle-less? You were hustle-less? Yeah, I we're hustlerless i kind of was

too we're getting pussy right away yeah that's i was yeah i was yeah i guess that's the biggest curse yeah yeah that's the cross i had to bear dude if i ever find out my kids getting pussy yeah they're not making money they're not hustling no yeah the only ass mondays the only sort of currency i had is i used to be the guy that would take a $1 bill and I would fold it so it said, Tits of Erica. Oh, hell yeah.

And that's not really anything you could sell. It's more so just a cheap parlor trick. Yeah. It's not even a parlor trick. It's origami. I used to shoplift a lot.

So I wouldn't like... You used to shoplift a lot? Yeah. It's a hustle. Yeah, like 13, 14, 15 and I stopped. My homies had a big klepto phase. I never did.

Yeah. It's bad. We would steal boxes of baseball cards from Kmart. I said, I stole from, and I stopped. My homies had a big klepto phase. I never did. Yeah, it's bad. We would steal boxes of baseball cards from Kmart. I said, I stole from Suncoast. Kmart went out of business. I'm a contributing reason. I stole a lot of Donruss cards from them. I'm like, they're fucked.

No, but I, yeah, we would just steal, we would steal, and stuff we didn't even really need. I think we just probably, I was in New Hampshire, we were bored. It was more for probably the thrill, and just do something, but it's not great. Yeah, my friends would steal shit for just for the thrill of it too they also like similar to you they we used to on hockey trips a lot of my friends would steal they used to sell porn magazines at airports a lot and so whenever we go on hockey trips all my friends would steal those and then they're or what they would do is they're always like you said had like a DVD in them and so you could open it up and then just take the DVD out of the sleeve and then put that in the portable DVD player and do a group viewing with 15 guys.

That's what you do with the VHS tapes. You'd have the cover, you'd have whatever, like American Tail cover, and then you open it up and it's, you know, like that. When you do something like that, in the moment, you're all just saving it for your spank bank, right? Yeah.

It's not, like, you're not horny in the moment. You're like... No, I did not. Why resort to mental imagery when you... spank bank right yeah it's not like you're not horny at the moment you're like no i did why you resort to like mental imagery when you i viewed it as educational to be totally honest i was like because i was a very late bloomer so i think they messed they probably were like let's you know you make like let's do what we're supposed to do with this i was watching it it's like okay like where okay where's the there's the butthole got it okay wasn't totally sure about that

getting my distances and angles honed in that's honestly how I was you studied the game I studied the game the China location

gave me fits for a while I didn't know what it was it was lower than an actual hole and where it was I was like

8 or 9 I thought it was yeah I thought it was just a vertical I thought that I thought the same thing I thought it was a vertical. I thought that I thought the same thing I thought you went in sort of like a

head on. That's how I thought it was going to be. This is what I thought like that. I didn't know like yeah it's more sticks out so you'd

assume we just go right. Yeah. It was pre algebra in the pussy location. It's very confusing. At the same time. Kyle every time you bring up somebody texting you I get texts now too so collateral damage luckily my person just sent me a little oshawott a little pokemon i'm getting someone sending me their dogs he said show rudy my dogs oh okay just be honest don't like give it

the old those those are ugly cute. Look at this, though. Oshawott. One of my favorite starters. Thanks. Thanks, whoever sent that. You always say you love this Pokemon. What Pokemon do you hate?

I've never heard of that. A lot. You've never talked shit. I don't like any of the Regis. What are your bottom ten? My bottom ten? I have that whole tier list. I've done it all. True. Well, okay. Give me your all-time most hated

Pokemon. I don't like any of them that have a humanoid shape because I think if Pokemon existed I think people would try to fuck them. The ones that were more humanoid. I don't like Pokemon that wear clothes because I think that's weird.

I was always sexually charged for Mewtwo and Chan. You're worried you would fuck them? Huh? Who would fuck them? Probably me. I'm probably talking about myself. I think if Pokemon existed, the ones that looked like people... Well, no.

Go to my response. Oh, I responded to Big Cat. I always thought Mewtwo was very hot, and I recently found out that Mewtwo is genderless. Mewtwo is genderless. What do you mean? That doesn't make sense. Huh?

It wouldn't make sense, right? No, some Pokemon are genderless. It's a figment of a Japanese man. Magneton. Yeah, but Mewtwo has some nice hips. Mewtwo is based on a Mew, and Mew is based off of a baby fetus. Oh, God.

That's not good. You haven't seen Lopunny. That's one of the new ones. That's the one the boys are getting off to nowadays. Lopunny? Yeah. I think when you came on my stream, you actually talked about Lopunny.

That's my ranking. So if we just want to... Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Yeah, so there's... Oh, no. Oh, no. Who's at the bottom? You can see... Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Yeah, so there's... Oh, no. Oh, no. Who's at the bottom?

You can see your bottom 100. I can see that perfectly. Yeah, so for everybody asking, that saved us a lot of time. That's at the bottom? And this is based off of design. What's the last one? I can't see it.

That's a set of keys. And that is a Pokemon. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. What did you go up before Pokemon? So Pokemon, to me, is relatively new. We didn't have Pokemon when I was a kid.

So what did you go up before Pokemon? What did I like before Pokemon? Yeah. I really liked the tick. Okay. I liked the transport. Well, we were also in, I think we were, I was in kindergarten when it dropped. Yeah, I was in, like, first grade.

So you don't really have much of a life pre-Pokemon. That's all I know. Okay, all right. Yeah. I one time got a, I made a trade with a kid in my neighborhood. It was a terrible trade for him. I can't remember which card I got, but he realized as soon as we made the trade what a bad one it was. And when I went to the other room to get a Gatorade, he just took it back and went back to his house.

And I started crying and telling my mom that he stole it back, and I was like, I'm going to get that motherfucker. So I got on my bike, and I just did drive-bys of his house, and he never came outside. Really? Would you have fought him? I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have bitched out and been like, he was way bigger than me and three years older than me,

so I couldn't really physically assault him, but he stayed in his house. He hunkered down. yeah I uh I ripped a girl off for my base set Charizard and I feel really bad for it till this day I never got one yeah I have one still how'd you rip a girl off and at St. Vincent's yeah so I was a Lutheran at a Catholic school and so I had to stay after. A Lutheran? Yeah. What is that? That's a different religion. That's right. 95 theses? Yeah, the theses.

When I converted to Catholicism, I had to go to Sunday school, and one of the girls in that Sunday school had the base set Charizard, and I had the different version of the Pokemon cards, like the full art. I think they were tops, and I gave her like 50 of those worthless cards for that Charizard. Huh. But she didn't know, right? No, but at the same time,

when you were that young, it was a quantity thing. Yeah. You just wanted a bunch of anything. Yeah. So I think she was probably happier. Right. I still have my binder,

my full binder in my apartment of all my Pokemon. I actually would be curious to see, have you audit it and see what quality they are. Yeah, I could try. I have a pretty large collection. I don't know if there's anything good in there. But if there's like a base set Charizard, imagine that. How much is that worth? A lot of money if it's in good condition.

How many of those do you have now? I have one. You still only have that same one from the girl? Oh, no. What's the Honus Wagner T206 of Pokemon? What's the number one? It's the Base Set Charizard. Oh, jeez.

You have it? Yeah. I mean, Gem Mint 10 Base Set Charizard, I think it's, what, 40k? What? Oh, my God. Holy shit, dude. Have you tried to think about reaching out to this girl and apologizing? I don't remember what her name was.

I just know her lips were always wet. Hated her for it. But you have a $40,000 Pokemon card? It's not a Gemint 10. I don't have it graded or anything. But it's, I mean,

it's been in a case and a hard sleeve since I got it in 99. Man, Jesus. That's a Tesla right there, brother. Yeah? Yeah.

Think about it. I'm going to keep it forever. Yeah. I don't care. What if she asks for it back? What if finds you i would give it back no you wouldn't would you yeah he actually does always give shit nick gave me this shirt right before we started he just loves giving the homies like giving homie stuff and that shirt was i would get clowned to make making fun of that and you wouldn't you say that that's not true yeah it's he does this thing where he's like, I'm swagless. He is swagged.

Everything's going according to plan. I mean, yeah. Clip that, clip that, clip that, clip that. Fuck you. Listen, man, you can't talk either. Everyone's been calling you ripped and hot and sexy now. Everyone's been calling me ripped because I dedicated my life to it.

And I deserve that. Yeah, dude, this guy has been lifting. He looks good. KB looks good. You look good. You've grown out stubble. Oh, for the Mets. No, that's way, that's designer stubble, baby.

You rock it. That stubble has now become 20% of your body weight. It is, it is, yeah. I think you should keep it. Well, it's going to be gone if the Mets lose. Why don't you keep it? I don't know. I don't think my wife

likes it very much. Bro, you'd look sick with a goatee. No, it's what it naturally wants to do. You can see it's very patchy. Kyle has the same, I think, pattern.

Yeah. On the side. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, you can't let it go too long because it looks whack with the patches. It does.

And then this will go really thick. I think you'd look like Keanu Reeves, dude. Thank you. KP's looking good. We got to get the crossword club unless you guys did it. We didn't do it yet.

We're doing it after this. We'll probably do it after. I'm trying to make that mainstream. I want to do it on stream. I want to do it on stream one day. Yeah, it's the funnest thing in the world. Yeah, it's the most fun thing in the entire world. I get FOMO looking at crossword.

Pay for the daily New York Times crossword. You get the mini and the regular and it's all I do. It's genuinely if I have 10 minutes of not doing something, I'm doing a crossword. Is made airplanes, flights, just breeze.

When we had the flight. You can go in the archive and do them back to whatever, the 1990s. When we had the flight from Atlanta to Chattanooga, I was so pissed when we landed. Yeah, because you want to keep going. I was doing one on the subway the other day and I missed two stops. I was just in my own world.

It's also the greatest bonding experience ever. As a team, it's fun. It's so much fun. It's all positive. It's all collaborative. Our captain is Dave's guy, Austin. He's the clue god. He's really good at getting the clues. In terms of like...

We do Thursdays, and the Thursdays have like a little trick inside of it. He's a great team player. I'm an ego player. I just want to get all my stats padded. Kyle jumps ahead. Yeah. It's hard not to. Just wait until we get there, then you can say it.

You and Tommy Smokes, and you don't want anything in common with him. Yeah. At all. Should we build your resume, Kyle? So I saw the LinkedIn. I think that was a Photoshop. That wasn't real. Yeah, let's...

Now, I've seen a lot of resumes back in my old life. All right, so I don't want the... Well, the thing is, he can't use his real name. Right, right. That's fine. If we want to make I mean, if I want to. Well, the thing is, he can't use his real name. Right, right. That's fine. If we want to make this work, we can't go too nonsensical. No, but it does need to toe a line.

I do want to see how far I can get. In the interview process? But I want the name to be, I kind of think Saul Boogerman Reynolds. Stick with that. Yeah. Maybe. Okay.

I think I can't do the hair styling college with the engineering degree no one will believe that you definitely need to say that you're excel certified what does that mean means that you're certified in excel you have like a degree from x oh you're saying excel excel yeah I was thinking of the magazine you were talking about the freshman of the year. Maybe your cipher was incredible, dude. You should say that you're a 2015 XXL freshman of the year nominee because then they can't check that. Applicant. Applicant, yeah.

Okay, we'll do that. We'll put that in the interest tab, though. But your career history, we'll do some stuff. What are you applying for exactly? Like what line of work? I think we're going to – each YAC member is going to submit something. We're going to spin a wheel to see what job I try to get. Okay.

The big four accounting firms should come out with a Microsoft double XL freshman list. That'd be awesome. That would be two monitors. Double XL. Jake from Fairfield, you just put in the work this year. God damn. Yeah, our new guy on Anus, Connor, claimed that he was going to make a big splash

in the accounting world for his absences from work. Yeah, for the fact that he's getting to work to freelance here. What is the accounting world? Is there a forum? How many... Go to the accounting subreddit. How many people... Claim that it was really tight-knit.

Like everyone knows everyone and they would find out about his antics. I was like, that's one of the most popular jobs in the world. You're trying to get him to call on Anus, call his boss and quit. He was like, I'd never work in accounting again. We're like, ship has already sailed yeah yeah that's a he's had this job

he's had this accounting job for three weeks he's missed a week and a half already because he comes in here to record yes and that's where we are as a society people don't work people don't work getting away with companies are desperate to hire i mean that's why your your resume might go far companies are at like a record low oh my god yes it'd be so easy for me to get a job in my old field because it's 95 women and they just need any man they didn't background check me why don't we just go to your field then? Alright, so I think we need to change the spelling of Boogerman. I like the two double dots.

The U with the umlaut? Yeah, maybe an umlaut. Boojermah. B-U-H Wait, that's pretty good right there. I like that. Saul Boogerman Reynolds. He's a wonder turkey.

What is that? Wonder turkey? Who's operating the police? So there's a soccer player named Unda, and he's got the U with the double dots. I was trying to go copy. I don't know how to do it manually. Saul Boogerman hyphen Reynolds. You don't need to put resume. I don't know how to do it manually. Saul Boogerman hyphen Reynolds. You don't need to put resume.

I think if you do. Actually, resume is a pretty funny last name. Yeah. Saul Boogerman resume. It's got a guy whose last name is resume, and everyone thinks he's always having a type. It's like you forgot your last name. It's like, what?

Saul Boogerman resume. Yeah. And then resume again. Yeah. Saul Boogerman hyphen resume resume. Should we spell the name resume a little bit different? Just the last E has that little dash over it. Or maybe like resume, like M-A-E.

That is how resume is spelled. That's right. That's fair. Oh, no. Let's try something crazy. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. I think there's two.

I don't know. Maybe you should say that you love Roebuck, because that's actually true. What would I say hypothetically?

Hypothetically, you love Roebuck. On the resume. Okay, so it says, Kyle, it says here on your resume that you love Roebuck. Okay, I could add

a bullet point for that. Yeah, you think they have the best performance, polos, hoodies, Q-zips, and now we can rock Roeb head-to-toe. We've been wanting to make a huge announcement. It's finally time. They just released the performance joggers. They're incredible, functional,

versatile, comfortable. They check every box. Use code YAK, Y-A-K at Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, 20% off all polos, quarter zips, hoodies, joggers, code Y-A-K. There we go. Maybe you should try to get a job at Roback.

Be a product tester. Stress test their shorts. Squat in them. See if they can handle your thrust. I mean, I would just... I wouldn't take anything. I just want to, like, get something and go full on. Oh!

You just sink that? Boom shakalaka. That was righty, too. Clemmer, what's surprised you the most about New York? Well, I lived in New York before. I was in New York from 2012 to 2016. It's gotten worse since I was here before. Hell yeah, dude.

I think the COVID and the riots, but the COVID especially, I feel like it's not as safe. I mean, not that it's dangerous, but I felt safer before. I don't know. Not that I feel unsafe.'s not as safe. I mean, not that it's dangerous, but I feel like I felt safer before. I don't know. Not that I feel unsafe. I don't know. It's just, it's a weird energy. It's like almost like a darkness to it. Like a, like a anger that wasn't there before.

Firstly, you know what's going on right now that I love? Comic-Con weekend started yesterday. And so on my way in, it was like me and then a bunch of wizards getting on the train. Like everybody's all dressed up coming from the suburbs on the way into work. And for the next couple days, the subway will just be people in costumes.

It just has always like a really fun, real fun feel to it. I've always wanted to go to Comic-Con. It seems really cool. Yeah, Robbie's going today. Genuinely. Yeah, I saw him. You have to be a very cool person

to go in a full costume on a train. Yes. You have to be A very cool person To go in a full costume On a train Yes Yeah You have to be confident As fuck On the way I don't think

Cool is the right word I am I'm gonna use cool Might be the exact Opposite of what they I love anything Where everyone is Very passionate

About the same thing There we go That's looking better Also it's a very funny Mixture of like Dudes It's a lot of dudes That are

Typically like You wouldn't say That they're the most Suave guys And then it's a very funny mixture of dudes. It's a lot of dudes that are typically, you wouldn't say that they're the most suave guys. And then it's also the hottest girls on earth. Yes. Comic-Con? Yeah. It's the girls trying to make the Twitch money. Yes. Yes, 100%.

I worked it because I worked concessions at the Philly Convention Center and then at Wells Fargo. But I worked Comic-Con concessions, and there was a super hot cosplay woman who was taking a grown man who, salt and pepper hair, looked wealthy but was just in a Speedo on a chain, had him crawling around on the floor at Comic-Con, and they waited in the cheesesteak line for a cheesesteak, and she's like, what do you want? And he gave his order.

No, I hate that. I love that. That sounds so fun. Intel's have shallow desires but deep pockets. Yeah, it was. I love that. That sounds so fun. Intel's have shallow desires, but deep pockets. Yes, they do. The Twitch streamers are really making a lot of money. I know exactly what they're... That was beautiful.

Thank you. Yeah, that was poetry. Right. Yeah, like I said, I used to go to board game conventions, which is like these conventions, but I think it's even uglier. Do you bring your own dice? No, I would buy them from Chessix,

my favorite dice brand. Hell yeah, dude. That's just true. Not a joke. Yeah, a dice brand? Yeah, Chessix. So a lot of dice, when they paint, they put too much paint on some of the nibs, and so it's not a perfectly fair roll.

But Chessix, tested, it's the same coding. It's like every side has an equal chance of landing. People are sending nibs? Okay. Yeah. I don't care, dude. I want snake eyes. I don't care if they cheat to make snake eyes happen.

I want snake eyes. Loaded dice are sick. Didn't know that was a thing. Didn't know loaded dice were sick. Were they like way down one side of it inside? Oh, yeah. I don't roll enough. You guys remember Loaded Diaper?

A band from Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Yeah, Roger. Don't remember it at all. Didn't get in the mini there. There was an Oon lot in that. Yes, there was over the O. So were you just the Most attractive person in the building

You claimed this I did claim it It wasn't a brag It was No it wasn't a brag at all It was a fact How did it feel How'd it feel

I felt like God Yeah Yeah Yeah I felt like God So now you know how Rudy feels all the time I know We're in New York City know how Rudy feels all the time. I know. We're in New York City. I mean, Rudy's attractive, but on New York City.

That's a good point. I benefit from just working at Barstool Sports. But yeah, as soon as I walk outside, I'm just a regular. You're normal. It's the cheerleader. This office is grotesque for New York State. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I'm playing in the G League of hot dudes right now.

Yeah. And then I walk outside outside and it's, you know. I mean, first of all, if you go to the west side, the gay community in New York are some of the most impressive individuals I've ever seen in my life. They're all like 6'3 minimum. Yeah.

Ripped. The ripped thing just destroys me. Right. My goal is, it's nothing like anybody anybody but my goal is to feel more masculine to feel more powerful but they flipped it like some of the gayest guys in the world are just so jacked so jacked and think of the women they could get yes if they they're so masculine they're just like no fuck that yeah dude yeah it actually is like so masculine they're so masculine they They're just like, no, fuck that. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It actually is like so masculine. They're so masculine that they want to fuck dudes.

They have no room for women. Yeah. Dude, when we were in Provincetown for Pride and we were wearing Speedos, that was the most self-conscious I've ever felt in my life. Because there were guys wearing Speedos next to us, shredded. I almost cried. Did you? I had a man chest by the seat.

This is the last time I almost cried. Did you? Man chest by the sea. This is the last time I actually cried. What was the movie? The worst part is it was just the scene I watched on YouTube a few weeks ago. It's Casey. Casey Affleck. Casey talking to his metter on the street. I don't want to watch that movie. It seems too depressing.

No movie tackles grief better. It's phenomenal. I like that. It shouldn't be sad. I watched it without knowing the street. I don't want to watch that movie. It seems too depressing. No movie tackles grief better. It's phenomenal. I like that. It shouldn't be sad. I watched it without knowing the summary, and it just, I didn't see that twist coming. Clemmer's right. Yeah, it's the perfect depiction of real grief.

Yeah, actual grief. What if something's so horrible you can never really come back from? It tackles that, and it's like, you'll never be the same. You can never be happy again. Fuck that. Yeah, that's the hard part it tries to tackle it it doesn't really watch and watch a guy punch a guy like a thousand times yeah if i if i the last movie i cried out was click i was gonna say grief stricken rudy is a whole other level yeah click was a good one too yeah it throws you a curveball yeah it's a does. I was expecting a comedy. Yeah, no, exactly. And then it has a very, very real

undertone. And Christopher Walken. Is that Christopher Walken? Yeah. Rudy, this is going to sound like a dumb question, but what is watching the movie Rudy like for you? Whoa. It's weird because I weirdly lived the movie because I walked on to the University of Denver

hockey. That's a little... So it's... I wouldn't say you relived the movie because I walked on to the University of Denver hockey. That's a little much. I wouldn't say you relived the movie. I mean, I was not a highly touted athlete, and my name was Rudy, and I had to walk onto a college sports team, so that was kind of bizarre. Did your teammates like you? They did, yeah. And then they would always chant Rudy, which is sort of patronizing, to be honest with you.

But no, I honestly... Busted Kyle. Fucking busted with the nicotine. No, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Did I say it? No. TGA on the sticks, you got him fucked, dude. Why is that bad?

Actually, go back. No, because it's destroying my mom's life again. Yeah. He's sending me pictures of deformed cancer mouths. Oh, God. Okay, also, there's pictures of deformed cancer mouths. Oh, God. Okay, also, there's only one deformed cancer mouth.

That one relief pitcher from middle school who lost his jaw is in every textbook ever. Is that the same guy? It only happened to one guy? His name was, like, Gruen. Was his name Gruen?

Look him up. Yes. That one did haunt me. It's one dude. Look at Kyle get caught. Shouldn't matter. Busted. Oh, no.

Damn, caught in 720p. Is that it? But Rudy, do you ever just watch some of those scenes? No, I actually never watch that movie anymore. Okay. I watched it when I was a kid, but I haven't watched it in a long time. You haven't did? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't actually, but it always was weird to me, to be honest. It would be in my alarm clock if I was here. Every substitute teacher I ever had tried to get cheeky with the Nickelodeon, like, nuk, nuk, nuk, nuk, nuk, nuk, nuk. Like, during attendance. Subs, man. Mine always convinced me that Kyle was one syllable. Fuck that.

You do the clap game where you would clap with your syllables, and from an early age I was gaslighting to thinking Kyle was Kyle. Did that affect your life in the long run? I remember even at age six in kindergarten I was like, Kyle would be two. That was you in kindergarten. I also could recite all the presidents in order and I knew every U.S. state capitol.

By kindergarten? What does that have to do with this? I think I was academically smarter than my teacher. I would do better at standardized testing. I think that was maybe just like a Pittsburgh drawl of just Kyle. Kyle. Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle. It's Kyle. Kyle. Right? Kyle. You count how many times your jaw touches? Like Kyle. Or your moves.

Well, then what about Kate? That's one. Kate is one. Kate is one. Kate. Pio. Kate. Okay. Slightly different.

Kate. It is two. Let's add an accent to that. I like if you've ever, this is a niche reference, but if you've ever heard Dave Portnoy say Dukes name, he makes it four syllables. How's he doing? Dukes.

Oh, yeah. You got to listen real close, but yeah. Dukes tried to use the four syllables How's he do it? Dukes Oh yeah. You gotta listen real close Dukes tried to use the word hyperbole to me yesterday He was like is that hyperbole? And I said Dukes you really shoehorned that in When did you learn about the word hyperbole?

And he like looked down at his feet He like touched his fingers he was like yesterday I felt so fucking bad dude I was like damn I'm a dickhead for calling you out Vocabulary, yesterday. I felt so fucking bad, dude. I was like, damn, I'm a dickhead for calling you out. Vocabulary shaming. I should not do that. I remember my first time trying to use hyperbolize,

and it just was, you can't. You got to know who you are. Yeah. You got to know yourself. You're not the hyperbolize guy. Hyperbolize. No, no. Hyper, like the adjective. Hyperbolic. Hyper hyperbolic even though if that's how you pronounce

it hyperbolic like what's a hyperbolic chamber uh no i think a hyperbolic chamber has to do with vacuums right isn't that what the divers go in to prevent the bends what goku trained in that's a sick word man man. Hyperbolic. That is. Maybe it's hyperbolic. Yeah. Yeah. Neat.

Thank you. Thank you. Me and the homies, when we get together, we hyperfrolic. Honestly, hyperbolic and chamber is a sick word. I think that's the two coolest words together. Chamber is a very cool word. Yeah. Yeah, that is cool.

If someone ever said, hey, come into my chamber. Want to see my chamber? I'd have to say yes. Yeah, step into my chamber. Even to see my chamber? I'd have to say yes. Yeah, step into my chamber. Even though it could lead to a disastrous result. It almost always does. You'd almost have to. I just had a curiosity because it's such a cool word. Sex basement.

Sex chamber. I honestly think Harry Potter was so successful because of how cool the titles are. Chamber of Secrets. Yeah. Turf Opinions We Dance. Every single one. Chamber Gauntlet. Yes, Gauntlet's a big one. Listener ofrets. Yeah. Turf Opinions We Dance. Every single one. Chamber Gauntlet. Yes, Gauntlet's a big one.

Prisoner of Azkaban. Everyone was. Sorcerer is one of them too, right? Stone. Stone? Oh, wow. Half-Blood Prince always is. Yeah, even that.

That goes super hard, Half-Blood Prince. Yeah, titles are just the key to success with kids' books. You guys did an anus episode where the Half-Blood Prince was your chub.

Oh, yeah. When you have a half-blood prince was your chub. Oh, yeah. When you have a half-blood prince. And you can see it. That's the ideal little chubby. That is a funny one. I like that. The half-blood prince. The ideal life would be to feel a constant state of buzzed from alcohol

and a constant half-boner. Yes. I don't like half-boners. What's a half bone no because it presents like a soft a softy and it's just way bigger yeah for the growers you get to pretend you're a shower yeah you are right okay yeah do you think mentally could you keep yourself at half all day if you wanted to but you had to really it's like tightrope walking across sky skyscraper you're talking it's hard. It gets hard quick, it gets soft quick. Yeah, you're talking about a fantasy

world that we just don't occupy. If I'm at a football stadium with a trough, you better believe I'm looking at something on my phone before I walk in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Trough is... Jesus. Our high school football stadium, Wheeling Island, had that.

Yeah, troughs. That was terrible. Sunray Park used to have them when I was a kid. Boy, dude. Hold on, back up. Troughs are great. You don't want one as a Rudy. You don't want one going in your freshman year, your first high school football game. Oh, that's true.

The difference between a freshman and senior cock is enormous. It is. You guys spin your cock like a lifeguard whistle before you take a piss in public? I love pissing on ice. Oh, that no i can understand that actually kyle because i remember i talked about this once on the yak before but like in hockey the at a certain age you start hockey and wrestling i feel like are the same and they're both homoerotic in the locker room very much an openly naked culture i've i've talked about this before but that first shower that you do with the team is one of the most petrifying

moments of a young man's life. Because the hockey guys are also roast masters. Roast masters. 100% roast masters. It's very scary. But once you break into that world, it's a fantasy world. Once you become the top.

Hockey locker rooms. Hockey is a cool culture behind it because they're kind of like underdogs. They have chips on their shoulder, but they're cool guys. They're likably stupid. There was a video of a hockey guy's locker room of guys sliding around on the ground. We talked about this, too. We did a slip and slide a lot. Yeah, it seems like you guys just were comfortable.

And everything is infinitely funnier when you're naked. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like having a riff with your friend and you're both ass naked, that is ascending to a higher level. You think a naked dude podcast would be successful? Yes. Yeah. I think Ari Shafir does some episodes.

He's in the nude. Really? Yeah. Adam 22 does it as well. Yeah. He's fucking. You probably grew up with Adam in New Hampshire, probably around the same age. Adam?

22. No. That probably wasn't his name at the time. Yeah, I didn't know Mr. 22 or Mr. 22. No, he doesn't. It's just his age. He changes it every year. He grows older.

So we're in Adam22 now. Like an Adele album. Yeah, next year we'll be Adam23 and so on and so forth. Oh, I've never met this man. Yeah, one of the funniest things I ever saw in a hockey locker room this is so sophomoric but we were fucking around and everyone was naked. Our parents were just waiting

for us in the lobby and this one kid sat on the floor ass naked and someone grabbed a shampoo bottle and positioned the nozzle right at his dick and then another kid jumped on the shampoo bottle and it shot the shampoo and the lid like directly into his penis it was like one of the funniest it was one of the funny it was

one of the funniest things i've ever seen in my life i don't know why we waste time trying to be clever with words to make people laugh when he's gotta just be a naked dude yeah chef donnie's got that hockey dude in him he was uh shocking his own bear cock with a fly zapper. Yeah. A couple months ago. That's more wrestling. That's more wrestling. Hockey guys were funny.

Wrestlers were just mean and they thought pain was funny. Yeah, masochist. We would just get whipped with towels by the seniors. And then also throwing a handful of soap hurts. What do you mean? Liquid soap? Liquid soap. You like pelt it at someone it stings

because the soap in most uh like rinks or or arenas or whatever is that like really low quality yeah if you throw in the air it's really like a ball it's like a it's like a gel you can if you get a handful of it yeah we would just do dodgeball and it was so painful we used to see some of this see i think like i try and picture like i was in locker rooms and like in the middle and like handful of it. Yeah, we would just do dodgeball and it was so painful. Did I see some of this? See, I think like, I try and picture like I was in locker rooms and like in the middle and like I think it's because we don't, like it is more fun to have something that sticks out.

It's not as fun. Appendages are hilarious. We don't have, I think if we also had appendages it would be more fun and we'd be doing the same shit. What do you guys do with the boobs? What do you do with the boobs? There's no antics? No, there's no antics. It's not as malleable as a penis.

You can do crazy stuff. You can slap them together. If men had boobs, it'd be wild. You could do a lot with the boobs if they were near the legs. The best part about it is that you have a canyon that you can move things in and out of. I think the best part about it is it's funny looking. It is very funny

looking. Boobs are just hot. Exactly. We can't look at them from a humorous perspective. I can't. Titties and laugh? Become ravenous. Yeah. I would do tricks with the tits. I think there's a way to activate the duct

usually when you activate it like if anything squirts it's out of the nipple but I think I can find a way to make something squirt out of the mouth what?

yeah you could squeeze a titty and you would squirt out the mouth you're talking about biohacking a boob? no I think he's gonna fill his mouth up

with water in the shower squeeze his peck yes it would be fun oh okay I had a buddy I played with that could lactate. That would confuse Rudy. He wouldn't know how you did it. If you took the right pills

and you started pumping your tits every day, I think you could. Back to that, your buddy did? My friend could lactate. One of my coaches could. It was just a tiny bit of very thick milk. It was almost like he was popping a zit.

It was like cyst goo. I was going to ask if you tried it, but maybe not. Oh, it's not gross. It's cyst goo. It's the opposite of a hyperbolic chamber. That's the two worst things. Cyst goo? Those are opposites. Hyperbolic chamber and cyst goo.

Or male tit. Harry Potter was like, yeah. Harry Potter and the chamber of cyst goo yeah or male tit yeah yeah yeah harry potter was like yeah harry potter and the chamber of cysts jk rowling is still on welfare somewhere in england same same substance in the book just different title yes i was thinking about tross the first time I saw pubes was at a trough at Fenway Park really I was peeing I feel like you never forget your first pubes in the wild mine was down the Jersey Shore

and it was like a relative's wife with her bathing suit at like eye level as a kid and it was like what is that that's what happened

yeah you're roughly at eye level I turn around and I just saw like this old man cock and like just wild gray and like brown pubes. If we had a cop come in, I could have a sketch.

I'd be like, all right, here's – yeah. It was that traumatic. We'd love to have a police sketch artist come in. That's one of the jobs I want you to apply for. That's a good one. Oh, you know what I saw on TikTok yesterday? They'll do these TikToks where a nail tech will be like, here's – she won't show their faces. She'll be like, here's the nails of my customer and here's what they do for a living so it'd be a cute set of nails it's like

this is a nurse this is a teacher this is whatever's nails and you're like oh that's neat so this waxer did it and she called them labia strips she's like here's my labia strips from the day and here's what they do and so she holds up the wax strips covered in and it looks almost like because the wax is like in colored and so then she holds up the wax strips covered in... And it looks almost like, because the wax is skin colored. And then she holds up the wax strips covered in pubes, and she's like, this is a masseuse,

this is a teacher, this is a nurse, and this is what their pube rip looks like. Trying to think of who would have... It's like a Rorschach test. It was like jar... I didn't see it coming. I don't know what I thought it was going to be.

And she started holding them up. I was like, holy shit. It looked like actual... That's a see it coming. I didn't, I don't know what I thought it was going to be. I started holding them up. I was like, holy shit. It looked like actual. That's a job for you. I would be irate if I like found a Groupon for waxing and then I went home. Yeah. You got exploited. Yeah.

Oh my God. I don't know if I was crazy. Pube doxing. Yeah. Good. You should apply for that job. Is this video? You don't remember what it was?

Uh, it's, I'm curious. It says curious. It's a video. I'm curious. She's curious. She doesn't want to know. I'm guessing an English teacher would have the worst or the best. The earliest. Yeah.

The worst or the best. Just the most, I think, is what you remember. Most, yeah. The densest. I'm trying to remember what the worst one from the video was. Speaking of tech. Writing in English and literature in general, I I feel like Is a very Bush Friendly environment The English teacher

Would have shards Of Diet Coke Can in her pubes Yeah Around the clock Diet Coke Yeah Pencils

Yeah They always roll their eyes A little before they take That is a Dental hygienic These are nails But like What is she

Not a doctor Or president That's no Oh god Damn I wish I could Find one Cause I don't know Are we allowed to show Pubes on here What is she? Not a doctor or president. That's no... Oh, God. Damn, I wish I could find one, because I don't know if... Are we allowed to show pubes on here? I don't know, because it was fucking wild.

It's not the on-the-body pubes, is it? What is her... No, no, it's... It's on the strip, right? Yeah, you can... Post-bite. Yeah, wait, I found it. Oh, God, it's a whole thing.

What do you mean it's a whole thing? It's a whole genre. My client's labia strips whole thing it's a whole genre my clients labia strips in their occupations now I'm just gonna show you it's quite an industry oh it very much just recreates the pussy it just recreates

still show that I don't know if we can show it yes we can hold on it's not a pussy it's a lot going on there Yes, we can. Hold on. We can. It's not a pussy. There's a lot going on there. I don't want to be on the thing.

I don't know. But do you see? This poor nurse. This is a nurse. Behavioral consultant. Looks like a Lysol after you clean your bathroom. That does. You have student. Like, this is the.

Student. It's wild. Anyway. Psychologist. clean your bathroom that does yeah student like this is the students wild anyway psychologist that's not very professional this person to do this no not at all do you think that the people that go to a shitty is there like 10 off or something like hey can i show your pubes there's a lot of people who are getting in trouble for doing that without permission uh people will go and clean people's houses and show their mess before and after without permission. It's a whole genre where your business just has to also be on TikTok.

It's a whole world of us having cameras and video cameras in our pocket. It's not great. You just have to have a camcorder to work around. Right, of course, unless you're in the content business. But there is this dark side to that where everything is now up for being exposed. i came across a new trend last night on tiktok where uh high school students will go and interview like every kid at high school and they're like yeah i know i've

it's on my algorithm and i don't like it that it is who's the hottest girl in the school who's the hottest they go to talk yeah and they say who's the hottest guy and then they just get go on and on and on and like they all have such high-quality cameras, and all the kids know about social media, and it goes wildly viral. We're up for a... We're due. We're on pace soon for a president

that will have old internet videos up somewhere. Oh, for sure. I think when? Probably two or three, I think. Two or three presidents? Internet videos. Yeah. Depends, I think. Two or three presidents. Internet video. Depends, though. If we get another.

If we get another. Trudeau, I bet you has some old YouTube, some old photos and stuff and videos. I could imagine probably. Maybe if you go to a Halloween party or something. Yeah. Would you see the president of Finland or whatever? People keep putting her in TikTok's party on the weekends where people are clearly super fucked up. clearly like super fucked up she rocks and she was like i don't care yeah she's like it is what it is i'm a young person having fun on my time off and and like the country's like all right

yeah yeah so can you imagine if like john f kennedy was the president during like 2022 like there'd be all these videos or clinton like there'd be all this shit out there. Oh, Clinton. Oh, my God. I saw JFK got head from a woman in a nurse outfit once to make him feel better. I was reading about that this morning. Did it work? Yeah, he probably busted in her mouth. Shit. Ailment solved.

That's kind of ironic. Say goodbye, Addison's disease. Busted in her mouth, but I don't feel any better. I feel worse. AJ Applegate did that. Who's that? Nothing. The name sounds familiar.

Why do I know? You can't just do that. Someone just texted me. They said it's Hyperbaric, not Bolic. Oh, Hyperbaric. It's a lot more sense. Eric. Eric, yeah.

Nice transition out of that one. Okay. Should we spin the wheel? Yeah. Spin that motherfucker. So we spin the wheel? Yeah. Spin that motherfucker. So we don't have to stay here. TJ's at Rutgers. Yeah, are you guys all going tonight or no?

No, no. I'm not going tonight. I have to go to Pittsburgh tomorrow with Adam Throne. That's right. That dude's a ledge. Yep, yep, yep. I think we're, yeah, let's click to spin. Oh, wow, this is weird.

We usually go full screen. This might, no, we're good. Yeah. I was going to say this was going to nullify the spin, but that was going to land on something bad. My mic keeps breaking. It smells of patchouli. What else, boys?

It's a Friday. Saw the Draymond punchaymond punch oh yeah he really hit a guy yeah he got pushed but he was all up in the other guy's basketball before that i mean he got pushed in like a fighting manner it was it was clearly to initiate something but i think he was got pushed because he was too late. I don't know what he was doing beforehand. Yeah, I think he was too late. But in his defense, also, he caught the guy after he... Oh, did he? Kind of caught him.

Kind of let him down easy. You slept him and then let him down easily, which is almost more emasculating. It is, yep. Cradle the man you just punched? Yeah, you knock someone out and then just cradle their little limpless body to the... He comes over to him.

See, he kind of gets right in his face, like right in his neck. That push is you want to fight. He put his – he like nuzzled right in his neck. The hole in his face out of nowhere, though. It's weird. The guy just minding his own business. I highly doubt that. I think that there was a lot of words before this probably.

Look, so he kind of catches him a little. I saw like a funny evolution on Twitter where like a girl quote tweeted the video and this guy quote tweeted that and goes, oh, man, it's over for Jordan Poole. The bad bitch has found the video. Oh, no. Yeah. I was like, damn, that's funny. That's a tough go for Jordan Poole.

Really tough go. Yeah, it is. Clemmer, what are you doing this weekend? It's a lot of Mets stuff. I'm going to the streams I I think, Friday and Saturday. And maybe even, I don't know what's going on Sunday, even. Because the Mets, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, each game is at night. So, I might be making it.

Do you do anything superstitious for games? Not really, no. I don't really believe I have the power to influence a baseball game by doing things strange. I don't think I'm that powerful. So, no, not really. I'm pretty excited. I've been think I'm that that powerful. So no, not really. I'm pretty excited. I haven't been in the playoffs in six years.

Phillies are going right now. Phillies are on right now, right? I have much more hope. You have more hope? For our team. Oh, I have hope in the Mets. Look at Kate talking so loud. Just saying.

Talk your shit. Yeah, seam head. Red October, guys. Uh-oh. And Rudy, are you a I hope everyone has a nice time. You're a Rockies fan? Oh, yeah, guys. Uh-oh. Yeah. And Rudy, are you a... Everyone has a nice time. You're a Rockies fan? Oh, yeah, bro.

Die hard. Die hard Rockies fan. It had changed the name of the Rockies mascot, right? Yeah. To, um... What did they change? It was Dinger. Dinger?

Yeah, but somebody was yelling it, and they thought it was the N-word. Yes. Oh. Yeah. They changed it, though. Did they not change it? I don't know. The Nuggets mascot is the highest paid mascot in sports. Really? I and they thought it was the N-word. Oh, they changed it, though. Did they not change it? I don't know. The Nuggets mascot is the highest-paid mascot in sports.

Really? I would have thought it was. They saw that, like, 700 grand a year? Is he that good? What do they do that's so special? He gets nutty. Like, he gets really nutty. He doesn't do it like Sir Purr, does it?

Who's Sir Purr? Who's that? He's the Carolina Panthers mascot. He's making more than Red Panda. That's ridiculous. Yeah, but I thought the highest highest paid would be Benny the Bull. He was up there. He was up there.

Gritty is Gritty up there. I don't think he was on the ranking. If any mascot deserves to get paid a ton, it's the BYU mascot. Why? He does insane stunts. Oh. Yeah. The push-ups are very impressive.

Was it the Nuggets mascot that fainted as he was getting dropped from the ceiling? Could have been. He does a lot of stunts. We played that video. He wrecks himself a lot. It was hilarious. He was getting let down from the ceiling by a pool. He was just fainting.

I think it was him. I think I saw that. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, like halfway down, he passed out. Yeah. Didn't you resuscitate a mascot? Yeah, I saved a mascot's life. Bucky. Bucky, the beaver for

the Nailers. The Nailers had two mascots. They had Spike and Bucky. Bucky was a beaver, and there was this walk relay for life for cancer. Bucky fell, heat stroke, gave him my water. Opened up his mouth, poured my water in. You didn't take the mask off? Oh, I did. Oh, okay. So you took the mask off, and then you gave him the water? up his mouth poured my water in wow really so you didn't take the mask off

oh I did yeah oh okay so you took the mask off and then you gave him the water yep saved a mascot's life that's like from a superhero movie I didn't know that yeah

yeah it's pretty impressive isn't it I had a family friend growing up who was the Notre Dame there he goes he's just limp let him down oh no oh no oh my you can tell Let him down. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. You can tell. Oh, no. Oh, no. That is grim. Oh, man. Very grim. I worked for a mascot.

Look, they're just dancing around. Rough fall. Oh, no. What's his name rocky i think that has to be every colorado mascot yeah we're not very creative in terms of like well what is he was he a cheetah yeah i guess so i was probably a puma or a cougar mountain mountain lion because we have those in Colorado. Okay. I assume that's what he is. The Rockies is what, a stegosaurus? Yeah, it's a stegosaurus, which also I think were native to Colorado prior to that big rock hitting them. Yeah. Yeah, I get it.

Yeah. I worked for a mascot. What? Yeah, for three years. You were like a mascot for three years? Executive assistant? Yeah, I was like, so I worked. Wait, wait, wait. Did you have to wear

an outfit too? Were you a stunt double? No, so what happened was I worked for a minor league baseball team, the Nashua Pride, and they had a real mascot, but then they had

an alternative mascot named Monkey Boy, the world famous Monkey Boy. And Monkey Boy took off. He became very popular. He would cause antics in the field. He'd slap an umpire on the ass.

Can we see this guy? I need to see the world famous. And you were the alternative mascot or the intern to the alternative mascot? He also ran the ticket office, and I was his intern. And then he ended up taking me to the alternative mascot. Monkey Boy. You were the intern to the alternative mascot of the Nashville. That might be the lowest level job on earth

on earth it was low it was low level on earth dude it was also his intern when he ran the ticket booth too so I had two

I had two jobs going at once that changes nothing and then he went on the road he took his act on the road and to different minor league baseball parks monkey boy

people would pay him like a thousand dollars he'd show up and do his antics. And I would go on the road with him, and I would kind of make sure he had water, make sure the sound was right. I was kind of like the business manager.

The alternative mascot nonetheless. Correct. Of the single A or the college league. Atlantic League National Pride. So not even an A team. No. What is below entry level? Because I don't know what you could classify this job as.

I need this on my resume You're overqualified for being born A poor monkey boy Is on the third year of us doing that We can't find monkey boy Google world famous monkey boy I think this might be a fight club thing I think you were monkey boy

He might have been See the mask there Oh my god He was a hideous creature Oh god That was him Dude this looks like a scene from Insidious That was him

Oh dude You were his intern You reported to him from Insidious. That was him. Oh, dude. You were his intern? Yeah. And then I... You reported to him? Yeah. He gave you demands in that outfit? Yeah.

Yeah, he would at you. No, no, he was a great guy. And he blew his knee out on the third year. So then I had to become Monkey Boy because we had all these appointments we already made.

You went in that? Yeah. So you were working in this monkey suit. I wasn't in that exact suit. They swore him in, like LBJ. I was not in that exact suit because the monkey boy there, Chris, he's only 5'3". So we had to get a whole new suit. And it was a black.

It wasn't even a monkey suit. It was a black, brown, bear suit. I had to have this whole new suit. And it was a black... It wasn't even a monkey suit. It was a black brown bear suit. I had to have this whole new suit. At what point in your career was this? I was 22. So you were a grad? How old was Chris, the monkey boy? This was my first...

This was basically the summer after I graduated college. Okay. Yeah. How'd you apply? Well, I was already... I did the internship. I worked with this guy for like five years. Five years of my life.

How old was Chris? What's his term? About eight years older than me. So he was 28. When that picture... You did that for five years? When that picture was taken, he had a wife and kid. Wait, wait.

Like 17 to 22 or 22 to 27? Like 18 to 22. Okay, okay. My college years. Your college years. Yeah. So yeah, during the summer I would go on the road

as Monkey Boy and then I said he got hurt and then I had to become Monkey Boy. I was horrible at it because I was so tall. What made him good? I always give this example.

You know how like Paul McCartney would play a guitar note and then like you'll play a guitar note? It just sounds better when McCartney does it. It was just better when he was monkey.

What were his antics? He would run around the field and cause mischief. He would slap... He would wave his arms. Yeah, he'd slap an umpire on the rump. Okay, okay. Oh, here we go. Oh, my God.

All right, all right, yeah. All right, the training's paid off. Oh, yeah. All right. The training's paid off. You saw yourself short. That was mischievous. That was us. I was scared. Yeah, that was impish.

That was more antic. That scared the shit out of me. That might life flash before my eyes right there. Is there footage of Monkey Boy? There is. So there is, but there's sad footage. So he was on. Oh, no.

This was after the knee injury and after I worked with him he would go to Nashville and do games once in a while and he was doing a game and someone from the fan ran down and tackled him hard like you didn't even see it coming

right and that was the last time I think he was monkey boy because he but anyway it went kind of viral and because it was like

2009, 2010 so people had phones and it was oh my god is, so people had phones. And it was – Oh, my God. Is that him? That's Monkey Boy. He's like – Clemmer, that's your boss.

He was dressed – That's your boss. The mischief. Look at the mischief. You had to report it. He just did the haka. He's dressed as an umpire. Look at that.

He's stripping. Oh, my God. That's mischief. He's doing mischief. You're right. He just did the haka. He's dressed as an umpire. Look at that. He's tripping. Oh, my God. That's mischief. He's doing mischief. You're right. He's the alternate mascot. Yeah. So what's...

Okay. He was more popular than the real mascot. So what did the real mascot think of Monkey Boy? Well, the real mascot was usually a college kid. Rip the pants off. I would say really respected him. Oh, the pants are coming off. How old is this guy?

He was like eight years older than me. So like 31. 30. At the end, he was like 30 years older than me. So like 31. 30. At the end, he was like 30 and he had a wife and a kid. He's moving like a rodeo. Was this his full-time job? It was and then it wasn't. Okay, okay.

So when we worked for the team, he obviously did tickets and did this. But then when we went on the road, it was not his full-time job. Is this an away game? This is a home game. Oh! There it is. Oh, this dude. I didn't it is. Oh, this dude. I didn't like that.

Oh, that's terrible. He's a really nice guy. Yeah, fuck that. Why did that kid do that? Did he get in trouble? I don't know if they caught him or not. You can see he's like, what the fuck? That's terrible.

He was doing his thing in his comfort zone. Oh, that makes me so sad. Oh, my God. I don't want to see it again. I hate this guy. This guy sucks. Wait, stop on the kid who did it. Let's find this fucker.

I don't care. Oh, my God. Did his ass come out mid-tackle? Yeah, he doesn't even know how to wear pants, this guy. Not good. That's so mean. That is so mean. That is so mean.

Yeah, I mean. You got to hold him. It is mean, but. Now that we're out of the way. Now that we've been admitted, it's mean. Now that we've got that kid. I hate that kid. That guy sucks.

That kid's a dickhead, a monster. But. Can we play it back one more time? One more time. No. You know that there's. Maggie, I'm seeing my friend get hurt. This is too hard.

Where were you at this point? I was not. Did you see this live? No, no, no, no. This was like years. What did you do when you see this live? No, no, no. This was like years. What did you do when you got the news? I fell back for him. I was like, oh, that sucks, man.

Like some asshole did that. Do you still have his number? So you didn't slide for him? I do. Well, I mean, so he lives in Florida now. And so I texted him a couple weeks ago about the hurricane and stuff. I was concerned for him. Oh, you're still close.

Once in a while we talk. I'm on his side. Yeah, we're a good guy. We're a good guy. If he needs anything, we'll tell Big Cat. Yeah, that's right. Him getting tackled was not funny. The idea of the kid thinking a big break could come out of tackling Monkey Boy was funny.

Wait, did they go viral? Maybe the kid was onto something. But no, we shouldn't tackle straight. Are the comments anti? They better be on our side there. Oh, yeah. They're definitely... He's the next monkey boy.

100% was like. It's like I'm in college again. There was a D3 coach that saw that tape and was like. I get the appeal. You got to find this kid. Yeah. That was a perfect form tackle. Against a 5'3 monkey boy.

Yeah. There definitely was a D3 coach that saw that tape and tried to give that kid a partial scholarship. Oh, my God. Clemmer, what a story, man. You have full surprises. The long life. The long life and a lot of weird shit happened, yes. That blew me away. Wise words. I think we ended

on that, boys. I'm down. That was a high point. Did you get an apology text? Yeah, just a bunch of people texted me. I'm not. I've had people reaching out to me. I also think that we should add a mascot to one of your potential jobs. Also, we should hire a monkey boy, right?

Yeah, I think so. Something. Do something for him. Or source the outfit. Yeah. And then try to figure out a way to gain the honor of wearing it. Do you think he still has the costume in a chamber?

I believe he still has the mask. And I think he might have the hands or the feet, one of the two, because I asked him about it a while ago. How could you tell them apart? But I don't know. I know he still has the mask. The mask is so frightening looking. So I know he still has that.

But I don't know if he still has his monkey suit. And the brown-black bear suit that I wore is gone. Okay. Harry Potter and the death of monkey boy. God damn. God damn. Thank you. R.I.P. monkey boy. Yeah. He had a good run. World famous. I mean enough. He had an assistant. Right.

He did. Was it a paid position? Yes it was. It was paid. Yeah. Not a ton but a little bit. During the summer in college, it worked out. And I would sell Monkey Boy appearances as well during the college year.

So I'd call up my baseball team, see if they want a Monkey Boy to come by. And how would you sell it? I would say, hey, do you guys have any spots open in your promotional schedule?

I would mail, this is how long ago it was, I would mail a CD-ROM to the team, be like, hey, check it out, Monkey Boy is funny. Did you put a sizzle for Monkey Boy? We had a sizzle for Monkey Boy. Did we fund that? Oh my god, we need that. CD-ROM, oh my god, it, hey, check it out. Monkey Boy is funny. Did you put a sizzle for Monkey Boy?

We had a sizzle for Monkey Boy. Did we fund that? Oh my God, we need that. Yeah. CD-ROM. Oh my God, he's 20 years old. I don't have it anymore. You would sell him to other minor league teams?

Yeah, that's what we would do. He wasn't like a Nashua Pride guy. He was at first. And then he went and did it on it. And went and branched out. He became a mercenary. That's why I had to become Monkey Boy. Because we already had those dates, like signed, sealed, and delivered.

People had already put deposits down. And we couldn't back out. So I did it. And I was horrible at it. And that ended Monkey Boy. Monkey Boy because we already had those dates like signed, sealed, and delivered. People had already put deposits down and we couldn't back out. So I did it and I was horrible at it and that ended Monkey Boy. Monkey Boy was never the one that Monkey Boy ended. I killed the brand.

I killed the brand before I was 23. I think Becoming Monkey Boy is a movie. Becoming Monkey Boy is a beautiful documentary. We should make it. I think so.

I did a one-man show about it. All right, let's see. What? Clemmer, what? Three-hour yak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. No, I did a one-man show

in New Hampshire about being- About Monkey Boy? About how I failed. Like, what it's like to fail at something when you're that young. Please tell us about it. Well, I would just, when I failed as Monkey Boy,

I'd go every night, and I'd perform, and people didn't even hate me or like me. It was just like crickets. And I had seen Monkey Boy- That's worse. So much worse.

And I had seen Monkey Boy so many times that i knew how good the act could be and i knew like i was fucking up and no matter it's a physical thing no matter how hard i tried i could never get it and i could see like my buddy's dream because he was going with me on the road and he became kind of like my manager and i could see like but the dream like in his eye like twinkling every time i did it and i would just go to the bar and i would just cry every night i would just just like weep. Because like this guy has a family and I'm like, it was awful. Chris.

Yeah, it was awful. One man show sounds moving. So I did a one man show like a couple years ago about it. Because I was like, oh, you know, now it's kind of. Oh, the team doesn't exist anymore. Oh, no, no. Independent is going to try to. It's probably your fault.

The story of a monkey. Oh, they're the Pittsfield. They moved to Pittsfield. They're the Colonials now. Yeah, the United League teams bounce around. The team in Long Island. You would weep? Oh, I would cry.

Yeah, I would cry. I would get drunk and I would cry. Over Monkey Boy? Yeah, well, it's what this guy wanted to do, and I just put so much pressure on myself. After we got tackled, was the game over? Oh, no, that was way after the game was over. He got tackled. He was just over? No, that was way after the game was over. He got tackled.

He was just doing a quick little appearance in Nashua. That was like his return tour or something? He just did it for fun. They asked him to come down. He'd do a spot appearance here or there once a year ago. But this was something he wanted to do for his job. I killed it. We're going to do a video on this.

This is the perfect person for that idea we had. We're going to do a video on this. This is the perfect person for that idea we had. We're going to do a video on this. Yes. I'm fascinated by this. Saving Monkey Boy. We will be doing something. If you could find an event and bring him back for a final curtain call of Monkey Boy. The curtain call he deserves.

Yes. And on a high note. It was a great mascot. He really was. He was really fun to watch. It's goofy and funny we should get Monkey Boy to sell out the beacon

in 2023 that's what this movie is going to do what we're going to do is help Clemmer out as well we're going to hot swap mid-act Monkey Boy is going to

get him warmed up people won't know you'll get the same uproar you'll get the uproar yes oh my god I want to redeem both it would be a whole snow

though I imagine I was a horrible monkey boy. No, I don't know. That's what it's all about. We are all monkey boy. It's all about their perception. We are all monkey boy. We're going to make you.

Everybody has it. You're all monkey boy. Yep. And when you moved out here and you did it, you moved with conviction. I can see it in you. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, the nice thing is when you're my age. Oh, monkey.

I'm looking at some clips. I don't think he's 5'3". He's with this... Is that me as Monkey Boy? He's a six-year-old boy and he's a little bit taller. But, um... No, Chris is really short.

He's like 5'3", 5'4", for real. It was a huge difference. I was going to say, I don't think he might be shorter. Oh, you're saying he's shorter. Yeah, he might be 4'2". He's really short. Like, it was like...

And then, I think that was part of the appeal, too, was that he's like a little person running around. It was fun. When it's like a guy that's 6'2 doing it, that's kind of weird and lame. It didn't work. The novelty wore off.

Very quickly, yes. A monkey boy getting tall is like Jonah Hill getting skinny. Right. I don't want to see that. We are going to have this end on a correct note. I hate the way this ended.

Let's spin the wheel for the Yak Parlay. Available at the Barstool Sportsbook. I want to spend most of my next year working on this. I'm serious about this. This is just the story we needed. Come on, don't do it.

Not the Broncos. This better this is just the story we needed. Come on, don't do it. Not the Broncos, thank God. This better not be the over. All right, under, over. Yeah, we have to figure out a way to rectify or fix your height, because right now in that outfit you probably look like Slender Man. No, we just have to have it as a part of the show. Maybe one of us runs out with a comically large needle and gives Monkey Boy a growth serum. Yeah, or we have to

play with angles. When I'm wearing this suit, you can't tell us. The Under and the Saints Panthers, I like that. I don't know what it is, but it creates some sort of optical illusion. Wow, we have a lot saved. The Monkey Boy. The three games, right?

Or just two? Three. Three games? Do you think if he found out, like you're talking about, do you think he'd be pumped? He would have no problem. Would he be okay with that? Yeah.

Let's reach out to him. We're going to... I just want to make sure he's okay with the hurricane stuff. Other's reach out to him. We're going to... I just want to make sure he's okay with the hurricane stuff. But other than that, if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be. That could add to the story. Like that happened and then all of a sudden, saving grace. Actually, I kind of want to fly down there first. Yeah, and make sure we don't want to do anything he's not comfortable with.

See if he's on board for whatever and then we'll proceed. This will be the first Yak documentary and we will go and we will produce. I want this to be a real thing. I'm on board. I mean, he'd be on board. I mean, he'd be on board. Full video. Full thing.

Feel good. Hour long. I'm dead serious about this. I'm sure he'd be on board. It's very much into. Yes. He has all this stuff. He has the mask.

I think he has some other memorabilia as well that could be fun. Fantastic. Did he have a favorite song he would dance to? Yes. You know, he'd come out to. Boom, boom, boom. Let me hear you say hey-o, hey-o. That song. Boom, boom, boom.

Sometime also, what is this song by ACDC? There's a twinkly one. Thunderstruck? No, Betty. Like Betty? Like Betty. Bam-ba-lam. Oh, Betty, baby, bam-ba-lam.

You'd also come out to that. Ben Rear is pissed, right? He's punching his computer. Yeah. That's not, I don't think it's ACDC. Oh, I'm sorry. You're probably right.

I think they covered it. No, I think it's a band called Ram Jam. Ram Jam. For my entire life, I thought it was ACDC until very recently. They definitely covered it.

No, they haven't. Maybe. I don't know. Ten and a half. Yeah, but yeah, but Boom Boom Boom is the song. That was the theme song.

Okay. This is good. This is great. So the second pick was the Eagles. Eagles. Under the Eagles Commanders game. So the second pick was the Eagles. Eagles. Under and the Eagles. So we have the Saints Panthers so far.

Saints Panthers under. Eagles Commanders under. And this is the last game. I like these so far. Unders are good right now. Everyone really hated that game last night, huh? It was bad. So bad.

Okay. Wait a minute. Yeah, that might hurt things. Actually, let's take the under and over in that. Can you bet the middle? Exact score. Exact score, Kim. That's what SAS does.

My bad, guys. That was a false spin. We got to go again. That's fine. That's okay. Run it again, guys. That was a false spin. We got to go again. That's fine. That's okay. Run it again, maybe. Come on. Okay.

Give me the under in that. Yeah, under. Yeah. Let's see. Is this the quarterback? Why is the Broncos on there? Niners-Broncos. That shit don't happen, no? That shit didBroncos. That shit done happened, no?

That shit did done happen. Russ. No, it was... Thoughts, everybody, on Russell Wilson? No, not good. Not good. I don't like seeing you do it. Personally.

He's a dude. He seems annoying. I like make fun of him. There's a difference between making fun of and just talking shit. Denver played Indy. Is this wheel correct? Give me one second. Because 49ers was a week before.

I think we have the wrong games here. Okay, that's what I thought. Mulligan, we'll take a Mulligan. We'll take a Mulligan. I mean, come on, guys. I don't do this. I know, I know. It's not you.

I was very confused. It's all good come on, guys. I don't do this. I know. I know. It's not you. It's not you. No, I was very confused. It's all good. Yeah, Russell. Yeah, you're the fan. I am a Broncos fan. It's becoming harder and harder to mount the defense. Right, I get that. I love the way that he did sneak in the Broncos country.

Let's ride. He's going to squeeze it in. That's not bad. He used to say, hawks it's fine but like the problem is that they suck like i'm okay with his aunt can't be an nfl quarterback that sucks yeah and then also to do it's just there's just too much ammo and then the nfl right now is i think running a massive troll campaign where they continuously put us in prime time and now next week too. Monday night. No way.

Oh, my God, dude. How is that possible? I know. I think they banked on him being better. That coach is getting most of the heat, though. The hack attack. Hack it, yeah. He's getting more heat than Russell Wilson is.

Well, I think it's like the O-line is not getting Wilson's cadences, and that's not on Wilson. He's a vet. It's like they don't know each other. That's my thing. I know something's up. Something's amiss. It's like they don't know each other. That's my thing. I know something's up. Something's amiss. It's good.

There's something there with Russ. Hack it. Russ likes hero ball, though. I wanted to give them time, but we're running up against it now where it's like we might just have to get rid of Hackett. Yeah, you have to. Is quarterback one of the only jobs you could be the 11th best person in the world? Yes.

Salary aside, it's probably the worst job you could have. Yeah, because you're exceptional. Yeah, you're an exceptional talent. And unless you're the top five, people think you're terrible. Or there's that weird space that Geno Smith is in right now where they're expecting him to be pure ass. People wanted Drew Locke, and now he's like... Yeah, but that will probably... That's the play of the week, I speak.

That will end soon. Will end soon, but he's done enough to where it's like... Yeah, but if he fucks up next game, everyone's out. That's fine, though. That was expected. Like, this is... This little run's been cool. It's kind of like Russ and the other basketball player, Russ, who was historically great, had a terrible season,

and then he just got made fun of all year. Or like the rapper-singer Russ. All three. I think that's the issue. Russ. So maybe if he changes his name. Yeah. To, like, Nigel.

That's fine. Thornberry dude. Nigel Russell. Nigel Wilson. Nigel Wilson's a real person. He was the first pick By the Marlins In the expansion draft I knew I knew

It always circles back Monkey boy This documentary Is gonna be fucking awesome Yeah TJ Oh okay there we go Do we just start

From the beginning fresh Or Like the first one was legit And then I had to refresh Cause there was a Fucking fuck up So Do we wanna just start

From the beginning Or do we wanna Keep the first one I liked beginning or do we want to keep the first one? I liked the first one. All right. We'll keep the first one. Then we got to do two and three. Sure. First one.

Let's do. That was the Panthers one, right? Yeah. Saints Panthers. Saints Panthers under. All right. Let's spin this wheel twice and then let's spin the other wheel twice. That's what I wanted to do, but I just was trying to not fuck the rules up.

Texans, Jacks, Titans, Commanders. It's going to be an awful game. Yep. Is there any good teams in the NFL this year besides the Chiefs and Bills? No, it seems like the NFL is not. The NFC especially is. Watching football this year, I'm having to question if I like football. 100%.

Last night was a real test. These Thursday night games. Who was that? Who we just take off? Commanders? Commanders and Titans. And Titans. All right, here we go.

Yeah, like these primetime games, at least Red Zone I can like, you know, you're seeing touchdowns. But these Mondays and these Sunday nights, Thursday's been bad. Yeah, Red Zone only works because you collect it. It's like in the big short when they would bring all the bad bonds together to form a kind of good one. Seafood stew? Yeah. It's like a seafood stew of the NFL. If you watch a single game, it makes you want to vomit.

You have to collect them all and then build them into something that appears to be pleasing. Yeah. Red Zone does that. Red Zone, I think, has ruined football for me. It's a seafood stew. I can't name one defensive player in the NFL right now. Really? I see touchdowns, and it rocks. It does rock, stew. I can't name one defensive player in the NFL right now. Really? I see touchdowns, and it rocks.

It does rock, dude. Pretty great. It's like, oh, I know. They made Baja Blast, like a readily available Mountain Dew. It ruined all Mountain Dew. That's right. Wow, very true. If they sold Baja Blast at stores, it would be amazing.

Well, same thing. I didn't care when they did. I hated all Mountain Dew from then on. Didn't they come out with a version of all marshmallow Lucky Charms? Yeah. Doesn't do it. It's all berries.

Peaks too much. No, I bought a bag. That's exactly what you're saying. You have a handful. This is awesome. And you're like, second half, you're like, I kind of do miss those nasty little oat things.

You need the oats. The words of Tony Balls, it's all about the chase. Yeah. And you need a palate cleanser. Right. And that's what the sawdust in Lucky

Charms does. Yes. Keeps you humble. Yeah. Want to get these over-unders? Let's do it. Might as well.

So this is for the Titans commanders? Yes, sir. All right, let's spin that shit. This is the Yak Parlay. I'll be betting it. I'll be in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania watching.

If anybody wants to come through to Washington, D.A., the Penn Casino in Washbaugh. Roan will be there. He'll be friendly. He'll give you his phone number. Yes. He always does. He always gives out his number.

Let's get a TGA appreciation post. Oh, yeah. That's Tech Guy Andrew filling in very nicely for TJ. Shout out to Chico Technico. All right, let's just spin this wheel.

Yeah. Humble. Somebody needs a cigarette. Two. All right. Three unders. Wow. All right. No, no. Commanders. Commanders. Titans. Wasn't over. All right. So three unders. No, no, Commanders, Commanders, Titans wasn't over.

All right, so two unders. So we got the Saints, Panthers under. The Commanders, Titans over. The Steelers, Bills under. Hell yeah. Perfect, all right. Everybody have a good weekend. Thanks to Rudy and Clemmer for filling in.

Appreciate it. Shout out to TGA for filling in. Yep. So that's the Yak. Get him some more screen time. All right. All right. That's Yak.

Yep. God bless. Outro Music It's the act. It's the act.