The Yak - The Long Cranberry That Shook The Internet, The Rise Of Owen, And Multiple Dannys From Delco

Episode Date: November 6, 2020

Coming to you live from under a beam...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. In Hank's defense, I don't think he knew of the dick when he got the dog. I'm talking about moving forward. How do you future-proof knowing the gigantic size of your... Well, I mean, Brandon, you've gotten several dogs. I've had several dogs. Some of them are still alive. I haven't... Don't you mostly get girl dogs, though? There's a very small chance of girl dogs

having a huge dick. And I do now have a male dog. I have not seen his penis yet. A male dog with a cuddly-wuddy chudly-putty dick is cute in a way. It's endearing. Very much it is. A fuzzy-wuzzy teensy-weensy would be nice, but that was bulbous.

It was thin, but bulbous it was thin but bulbous somehow it was um it was disgustingly narrow um yeah and so we got into so we talked about it on friday and that's all we talked about it's all we talked it consumed an hour and people wouldn't understand why and if you're listening to this and don't understand why and you think that we're crass or sophomoric for doing this see it first. Can we use it for the graphic of the podcast this week? It's like the Great Wall of China. You could see it from outer space. Very slight blur, maybe.

Or just like a full- But it has to be a very slight blur. I'll do it in the blog post. That'll be the safest thing. Okay, perfect. And should we say where you can see it or afterwards? BarstoolSports.com blog post will be up at 2 p.m. All right.

And let's just get into us talking about it because WeWax is really poetic about this. Also, have you guys seen Hank's dog's dick? Yeah. It is huge. It's disgusting. He was saying

his dog has a huge dick. It looks like a nerd's rope. It's a Slim Jim. But the big one. Yeah, it's it's it's a slim Jim. It's a yeah, but the big one. Yeah, it's like when you go to like a gas station in rural America and it's like, oh, here's the homemade beef jerky with a tongue and it's tapered at the end. It's bad. It is bad. And he also Hank thought he was like, yeah, well, we're going to get him neutered next week.

I was like, what's that? I don't cut the dick off. No, no. I mean, it might be not as hard of a dick. It is the biggest dog dick I've ever seen. Dog dick sucks. It's one of the biggest dicks I've ever seen. Do they castrate dogs?

Not anymore. No, neutered. What is that? They take the balls out of the sack. There's no... Get Pete in here. You can't take the balls out of the sack. There's no like you can't get peed in here. You can't take the balls out of the sack. You can't take the sack out of the balls.

There's actually like a product. There's no humane way to take a dog's dick off. I don't think you could take a dick off. They still got to pee. Yeah, I think you just can't take it off. The dick? Yeah. Can you shorten it?

I thought that was the thing. Why would you take the dick off? It's gross to look at. You could shorten it? I thought that was a thing. Why would you take the dick off? It's gross to look at. You could shorten it, though. You know how you could cut the bottom of your tongue? They still do that to Ukrainian choir boys.

I have a picture of it. I want a live reaction to this dog dick. Make it hit higher notes. I need to see this. It's astounding. Fantastic. Just's astounding. Fantastic. Just sprawling penis. Sprawling penis.

No, it is. It just unfurls. It's like a fruit by the foot, but erect. Hank had to take that photo with a panoramic lens. Yeah, it was an IMAX. That's how it's intended

to be viewed. It's an IMAX dick. An IMAX dick. It's gross. Everyone want to look? Oh, this is the dog penis? I hate this dog dick. Why did it take so long to do that? It's aX dick. It's gross. Everyone want to look? Oh, this is the dog meat? Why did it take so long to do that? It's a long dick.

I actually really don't want to see this. You have to. Oh my. Oh my god. It wasn't even the size. It was the color and texture. That's not real. I told you.

That's not real. That's disgusting. I hate that. That's a grab like tremors. Send's a grab light from Tremors. Send it to Avery. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is...

Can we be prosecuted for revenge porn? Yeah. By passing this around to our... I would sell him. To the fellas? Send it to Avery. Yeah. It's too big to have.

I think too much of that dick is poking out. I think he's supposed to keep some of that dick inside. It looks like it hurts. Yeah, it does look like it hurts. He's overextended himself. He's got a hyperextended dick. Gross. My God.

You can't just tweet this photo. No, that's revenge porn. Please don't put that on Twitter. He doesn't look comfortable with it. No, at all. You can't even pet that dog. That's harassment. Well, because you'll touch its dick.

This is Hank and Ria's pup? Puparino? Puparino? Puparino? Puparino? You can't call that a pupper. Puparino. You can't even do that.

Imagine trying to call that your fur baby. You call that dog Mr. Lockwood. Fur baby to this big old dick. You call him Peter North. That thing is a menace. It's slimy. It is. It's a slimy menace.

It's gross how accurate the Slim Jim's description is. The Slim Jim was. It really is. I thought it was crazy. The one in the dusty jars. Yes, the one that don't get the homemade ones that are just like. They say 50 cents with the cent sign. It's bulbous.

It's like right next to the pickled eggs. Avery, comment in. Avery, what are you doing? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean. Physical reaction. Yeah. They just. So this dick isn't public? comment in avery what do you what do you oh my god yeah yeah i mean physical reaction yeah they just so this dick isn't public i'm gonna have to make it public if hank doesn't because hank forced here's let's talk this through hank forced us to see it let's um we did it we what we saw it

live on pmt so like we talked about it and then everyone's like well can we see the dick hank i don't can we see the dick? Hank, I don't think is releasing the dick now, but I think that's fucked up. You can't, you can't force other people to see it and then be like,

I'm not going to share it. That dog's dick shouldn't look like that. No, it's got a problem. Let's call people in and have them check it out. Okay, yeah, let's bring them over that way.

No, no, but tell them this is how Sean Salisbury got fired. Don't mention the dick. Oh, this is harassment. Yeah. Yeah. Call the right people in. Call the right people in.

Call the right people in. They are cool with dog tics. Should we mention the dog dick? No. No. No, no, no. We're going to be rating doggos on this show. What would you rate this one?

Wait, yeah, KB, get like a couple. That's 11 out of 10. KB, you should get your phone and get like a couple regular dogs and then scroll through it. Like rank these. Send me the. Bailey would be perfect. Oh, it's in. I sent it.

Yeah. Bailey would be perfect. He would. Yeah, be like, rate these dogs in poop-o-meter. Oh, I want to gag. It's so gross. You would gag for sure, bro. Yeah.

Yeah, it would. All of you. It's like a tongue suppressor. It looks like a Harry Potter wand. It looks like a wand. Just about to say wand. Yes. It would, all of you. It's like a tongue suppressor. It looks like a Harry Potter wand. I was going to say wand. I'm just about to say wand for you. I said it on the football podcast. You always say the metaphor like third leg.

That's legit a fifth leg. That is the actual size of. It's like a tail. I don't know why Brandon's getting Owen. Owen's just going to be like, yeah, that's a big dog dick. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah.

What's happening at the end of it? It looks like a snake's head at the end. So, Owen, do you like dogs? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Hey, Owen, you ever touch a dog dick? Yeah. Oh, you want me to answer?

Yeah, Owen, you ever touch a dog dick? I'm Google searching. It's got a crook in it. It's got an elbow. I've never seen a dog's dick. Should we make them sign a waiver? Should we have a waiver or something like that? I have this QR code on my phone.

They could scan it and just sign a waiver. Its name is Norman. Nothing about that is Norman. Nothing about that is Norman. One at a time or awful? One at a time. One at a time. One at a time. His Instagram is teeny weeny Normie.

Oh, my God. It's just a blatant lie. That's like Biggie Smalls? Yes, much like that. Mm-hmm. Teeny weeny Normie. Owen first. Owen first.

Okay. I think it would be better if we had like five regular pictures of Norman and then that one's Yeah, okay. So go to his Instagram. He's got an Instagram. And then just screenshot five. What? What's his Instagram?

Owen. Yeah, let's actually start with Owen because Owen's the one that we could totally like. He's part of our crew. He wouldn't... He wouldn't fuck with us after we do this. Hey, Owen. Owen.

Aw, he's a little self-conscious about his paw wrinkle. We are rating dogs today. Okay. So, and KB has a dog that we want to rate it. So it's the, what are we saying? Five boops? It's on the Glunnyball boop scale. Yeah, something out

of five boops, how many good doggos would you give it? How many scratches underneath it? So, five boops is the top. Five boops is top, but you can go six. You can go six. It's your discretion, really. I know this is exciting you.

Is this whole numbers? Because it's boops? No, you can go half a boop. If you think it's necessary. Oh, Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! We need Pete. We'll get him. And then he I said, we want you, Pete.

He said, all right, do it. Fucking asshole. We'll get him. We'll get him. And then he's like, why are you so mean to me? We'll get him eventually. Did he say that? No, I give him the finger every time I see him. He's like, what the hell?

Like, well, dude. Sorry for speaking your language. We don't like you. We don't like each other. Are you good, man? Shut up. How hard can this be? It's fucking.

Well, what are we talking about? I mean, very easy answer, Nick. A photo collage. He's using one of his many collage apps. Of the people I've gotten here, Big T is furious about this. He's demanding to know where it is, and he doesn't want to come in. Okay, well then we'll make him come in last.

Yeah. What is Big T doing right now? Okay, well, then we'll make him come in last. Yeah. Okay. What? What is Big T doing right now that's like, he's like getting the launch codes for NASA. The other two guys were, they came right along. I had to convince him. Tevo's the man. I like Tevo. And who's the other guy? Dukes.

Dukes. Oh, Dukes. I can't see him. He's behind the thing. Owen, do you want Nick at all this weekend? Because I'm ready. I'm doing a little rent out. Could you use him for anything? of thing. Owen, do you want Nick at all this weekend? I'm doing a little rent out. Could you use him for anything?

Pipe cleaning? Anything this weekend that you need a Nick for? Apple picking? Just like company, I guess. Okay, he's good at that. Perfect. There's a sheet. There'll be a reason you have to sign me out for contact tracing. And yeah, I'm all yours.

If Rome allows. Nick, are you actually excited about this now? No. I'm not going to make you do anything. Besides watch Moneyball. You could. You guys are going to watch Moneyball? It's about time. I watched another movie though. What? Okay, hold on. Everyone relax.

Go ahead. Tell us. That's crazy. I fell asleep, but it was. Wow. This is exciting. I'd seen it before. It was Peanut Butter Falcon with Shia LaBeouf.

Oh, is it good? Yeah. Really good. All right. I was thinking about watching that, but isn't it sad? No. Okay, cool. All right.

Good. It's a modern day Mark Twain is is what they okay here we go all right rate this dogs is that's real yeah you can yeah scroll you can zoom in so rate it out of five boops i don't want to check each dog out of five boops ready go rapid fire uh four. Four boops. Three. Okay. Turn up the... Four. Turn up his mic so we can hear his gum. I don't know how to do it on... Oh, you have the whole phone.

Oh, my God, Kyle. We got to get you a new phone. Turn up the brightness all the way so you can really see the boops. All right. Four. Three. Three. Two.

Five. All right. All right, thanks, Owen. I appreciate it. This is the worst radio ever. That was it. That was it. Did we even look at that?

We knew Owen. We knew Owen. That's perfect. Owen's going to be like that knew Owen. We knew Owen. That's perfect. Owen's going to be like that. Owen's a fucking G. He's a certified G. He's part of the crew. He knows.

Big T. All right, Big T. What were you doing that was... I like your hat. Thank you. What were you doing that was so pressing? Nothing's pressing. I was just asking Brandon what's going on.

Oh, he made it seem like you were pulling a hissy fit. That's what he said. That's what Brandon always makes things seem. Big T, you demanded 10 times to know what this is. I was asking what this was. And every time I said, I can't tell you, you said, no, tell me what this is.

And then I just, yeah, I asked again. What are your thoughts on woofers and puppos? Dogs? Yep. Generally pro. What caused you not to be pro? Yeah, give me some. I mean, there are some dogs that I just don't, you know, I don't love. Give us an example.

Okay. One dog you don't like. It's more of an aesthetic thing. Like, if I see a dog and I'm like, oh, that dog's ugly. Like? A lot of bulldogs, not a fan. Oh. Yeah, God don't like ugly.

Damn, Brandon is upset. Why? That's Georgia's mascot. Yeah, Georgia has an ugly bulldog. Our bulldog is beautiful. Oh, you guys are... You have a bulldog? Bully looks better than ugly.

That's true. Oh, I didn't... Yeah. I thought you guys were the rebels. Classic English... Classic English bulldog. That one was too easy. That was just a nice little...

Scroll through and... First one word... You just got to stay in practice. The first word that comes to mind when you see these doggos. Floppy. I want to save that one. That's the same dog. It is.

A different adjective for each picture. Admiring. Playful. Content. Adventful. Content. Adventurous. That's very true. Mischievous.

Oh, my goodness. Okay, yeah. That was worth it. Oh, man. A little bit more on that. Maybe a couple more words on that one. You can throw a couple more words. Tough.

That's Hank's dog. I knew what dog it was. Maybe a couple more words on that one. You can throw a couple more words. Oh, yeah. Tough. Tough. That's Hank's dog. That's Hank's dog. Yeah, I knew what dog it was. Yeah. So when you talk to Hank, just remember that his dog has that type of cock. Next time it's in a... Yeah.

Yeah, when you double tap, that really... Yeah, we need to crop this a little bit better. Yeah. What... Okay. Were you shocked? Have you ever seen anything like that in your life? Not that I'm aware of, no.

Would you define this as sexual harassment? It's teetering. It's a dog, though. And it's also Hank's dog. He did it to us. It is us. And Hank did it to us first. Then that's, yeah.

Y'all are just passing it on. Right. It's a dog. Actually. Three is dog. Well, and this is kind of a double jeopardy thing. If you think it's sexual harassment, then that makes you the real harasser because you love dogs. You want to have sex with dogs.

You OK? You can't say that you're offended by something as natural as no, no, no, no, no. I want that. I want that on air. I want that retracted on air. You can't say that if you had felt. I can't say that. I said if you can't say that. If you had felt bad about it. You can't say that. I said if.

You can't say that. All right, I officially retract. Thank you. Big T not attracted to dogs. Thank you. At all. Correct. Ever?

H-dog? H-dog. Have you ever seen Lady and the Tramp? That dog is hot. I haven't seen that. The rest is my case. The girlfriend of Max Goofy's son in a very goofy movie. Yes. You're a crop top hot dog. There are hot dogs. The girlfriend of Max Goofy's son in a very goofy movie.

Yes. There are hot dogs. There have been hot dogs in the history of the world. Nathan's. Lassie was very attractive. I don't know that dog. Lassie is like the dog. It's the most famous dog that's ever been.

Alright, so you're on a slump. You haven't fucked Stop this isn't funny That's kind of funny You can't say things like that on a national radio show You can't You say way worse It was very tame

Big T thank you It has been retracted You want to give us a prediction for Tennessee this weekend? We're off. We play Arkansas next week. That's a loss. That's a big game. That's a big game.

That's a huge game. Tevo. Or Pete. Do you have it cropped in now? This is definitely how Sean sells very good. Yeah, I feel like maybe we should. We should probably not do this. Yeah.

But just show him the other ones. This is TiVo. You've met him. TiVo. We're having a little existential. You know what, TiVo? Let's do this. Okay.

Okay. So instead of doing what we just did with Big T and Owen, let's ask you this. If we were to pull you in here or someone in here and show them a slideshow of dogs and it ended with a dog penis, is that sexual harassment? I'd say any other workplace than here, yeah, but we don't even have HR. Also, Hank made us see it first. He forced us to see it. He forced us. Hypothetically.

Well, I mean, is it any worse than like planet Earth? That's education. Do you want to see it? I mean, do you? That's education. Do you want to see it? Do you want to see the penis? It's like a mighty redwood. If you want to see it. All right. So we're good.

I think that's how we do it. My weight is off on these chairs. Yeah, that chair. Yeah, no, those chairs broken. Yeah. So it's not because I'm obese. No, you're looking strong. Chair can handle it.

Don't fucking say that about yourself. What? Wait. Wait, wait, wait. That dog is ready to rock. Alright, Timo, stop. Is this Photoshop? Don't laugh.

I cannot laugh. The dog is really self-conscious. There's two initial things I think of. That dick has an elbow. It does. What could that thing curl? It has an elbow. I mean, that looks like a thick Slim Jim.

Yep. That looks like a thick Slim Jim. Yep. Yeah, that's great. Well, I appreciate your response to that. Nature's beautiful. Yes, there we go, Tivo. Nature's beautiful. Big T got us all in our feels being like,

I'm going to sue. You've got to be careful though. On the couch? Yes, if that dog rugs up on you, I mean, if that dog, if you're vacuuming and you fucking accidentally fucking suck up that dog's dick. If you're high and you're vacuuming and you fucking accidentally fucking suck up that dog's dick. If you're high and you're sitting on the couch and you're eating some Slim Jims, watch out. If you're grabbing from your huge bag of Slim Jims, you could trip on that thing.

Yeah, next to your dog. When it rolls over to get its tummy scratched, it will hit the fan blade. Just whips across your face. Jesus. That wasn't an innocent picture. That's not like... Whips across your face. Jesus. That wasn't an innocent picture. Like, that dog is prone. Oh, yeah. That dog has bad intentions in its eyes.

It's a horny dog, too. I've been over to Hank's house. It's a horny dog. You're playing skip it and fucking... You get completely caught up and tangled in the dog's dick. Yeah. It's like a full jump rope of a... Okay, you're a dog guy.

I've never owned a dog. Like, that's surprising. Well, my dog has a vagina. That's not far for the course. No... Well, DK, you're a dog guy. I've never owned a dog. Like, that's surprising to you. Well, my dog has a vagina, so... No, I actually... That's not par for the course. It's not par for the course, and also I do enjoy... I've always had girl dogs because I don't like dog dicks as a principle. I mean, the dogs at the dog park must be psyched when that dog gets there.

Yeah, I don't know what happens. But do you think that dogs have the same stigmas about penis sizes that humans do? They might be operating on a whole different plane. You can tell that Normie's got big dick energy. I don't know because I don't know how often the girl dog sees the penis. Right. Because they exclusively do it doggy style. She doesn't really see the penis very much.

Good point. And the dogs don't have Nicki Minaj videos suggesting anaconda size penises are attractive certainly not yeah we don't know anything about that all right well Tebow thank you awesome appreciate it appreciate you good sport all right Dukes is our last one I think

we're done after this yeah Dukes do you want us do we how are we doing this one let's be fucking real yeah you want to see a dog dick? You can say no. You can definitely say no. I would clarify. I would qualify Dukes as down to clown.

Yeah, that's true. It's Hank's dog's dick. You can say no, too. This is no kind of... Yeah, it's crazy. It's like a long cranberry. This is the worst radio ever. Everyone's...

No, no, no. Every reaction is getting like a long cranberry. It's the worst radio ever. Everyone's swarming. No, no, no. Every reaction is getting... A long cranberry? These are epic reactions. I'm going to put this on a compilation. You just said an object and then said long. You could do that for anything. It's like a long ant.

Much like that. A long pencil eraser. Like a radish? A long radish? Sure, whatever. It's long. Jesus Christ. It does look like a long cranberry.

You stretched out a cranberry. Stretched out of the bog. It's damp. It looks like a 14-inch cranberry. I see that again. Yeah. Damn. I do have people texting me being like, I have to see this.

Yeah. No, this is going to be a problem. That's incredible. I've never seen anything like that. Yeah. Heck, he needs like a disclaimer when people walk in his apartment. Dude, he's been trying to get us to see this for like two days because he said to, thank you, Dukes. He said to PFT, like, hey, you want to see my dog's dick?

And we're like, no. And then two days later, he's like, hey, but how about you see my dog's dick? Fine, just fucking show us. To be fair, it unburdens you to have someone else look at it. Just like walking around knowing that a dog's dick is like that is probably the most guilty thing that you can carry. Big weight on your shoulders. It's planet Earth, dude. How can you give it cuddles?

Yeah. I do not feel disgusted. After that, yeah. Let's get Rhea on your shoulders. It's planet Earth, dude. How can you, like, give it cuddles? Yeah. After that, I feel disgusted. After that, yeah. Let's get Rhea on the line. Oh, Rhea's gonna be mad at us for this, I would imagine. I mean, we are shaming

her child's penis. It's a cute popper. Yeah, sure. Tom Brady gate, part two. Howitzer gate, two. Dog edition. Yeah.

Oh, poof. We're gonna to get cancelled For showing everyone a dog dick I feel like we would get cancelled I'd wear that with a badge on Oh it would be the funniest cancellation of all time People are like why did you lose your job Well one of our co-workers dogs has a huge dick

And then we'd all get fired And then when they publish the picture We'd all get rehired Well that is a huge dick It would leak Why didn't you just show us Long cranberry get rehired. Yeah, you'd be like, well, that is a huge dick. All right. It would leak. Yeah. Why didn't you just show us? Long Cranberry, man.

Long Cranberry. We all get fucking awesome like ad deals with Slim Jim. Yeah. Long Cranberry. Every name Slim Jim's Norman's dicks. I feel like stopping

talking about it now wouldn't do it justice so let's continue for the rest of the show to talk about this isn't even Crash this is more an appreciation yeah I can't even switch

subjects it's in the forefront of your mind. That dick is so big. What do you think is square footage? Let's stress that it is very narrow. Very narrow. It is, but so is the dog. Like a waxy candle.

What percentage of the dog is dick is very narrow. Very narrow. It is, but so is the dog. Like a waxy candle. What percentage of the dog is Dick, is the question. It looks like some whoppers got stuck in a straw. It's half of his body length. Yes, half of his body. How did he get to cranberry? Cranberry is a very small, round thing. I think he just saw that it was red. The hue and the shine to it too, though. I think the color

Don't give him that much cranberry. Either that or Dukes is just eating the weirdest cranberries ever. Long cranberries. Imagine, like, it's like one of those weird things when you go to college and you think everything's one way. It's like, no one does it that way. Dukes is like, hey, pass me a cranberry. He bought a cranberry stretcher. Dukes, these are

dog dicks. What are you talking about? Hey, let me nosh on that cranberry right there. It's like, Dukes, my dog is hard. What are you talking about? Yeah, his parents didn't want to explain sex to him when he was growing up. Like, that's the doggy's cranberry. I wonder if anyone has ever said the word or the phrase long. I'm going to Twitter search. I'm Twitter searching to see if anyone has ever tweeted it, or the phrase long. I'm going to Twitter search.

I'm Twitter searching to see if anyone has ever tweeted it. Ever. Put it in quotes. What if it's like 500 tweets from Dukes? Long cranberry. No joke. One time in 2013 by Thread Count Dracula.

And it just sang, so long cranberry. To an empty wine glass. No one has ever said it before. Wow. Incredible. He's a first. He's one of a kind. That's brilliant. That's pure brilliance. So long, cranberry. Let's just show him other pictures and

tell him to describe it. Everything will be just a form of cranberry. It's a red, thick, square cranberry. That looks a red, thick, square cranberry. That looks like a long, navy blue. A long... So that was us talking about the dog's penis.

The dog penis. That was before the world got to enjoy this dog's dick. On Friday night, as the Yakis want to do before the world got to enjoy this dog's dick. On Friday night, as the Yakis want to do, the boys got on one. Before you get to that, I just have one question for KB. We left Friday with you promising to get drunk and tweet the dog dick. I said that I would get drunk. Yes.

Did you get drunk? I know you tweeted the dog dick. Did you get drunk or did you just do it? I didn't do it. And that's the thing. But I bet people don't believe you. You know what I mean? Like you're mischievous.

You're devious. What can I say? Did you get drunk? The only thing I can say is the caption of it included an emoji. I don't use emojis. Okay. So drunk Kyle doesn't use emojis? So it wasn't me because I think that's crass and disgusting.

You think that a dog does? I actually am very repulsed by that picture. But you talked about it the most. You cracked the most jokes about it Caden. How repulsed can you be if you fucking were so witty about it? I didn't crack any jokes. You entered Friday night with a game plan. No I didn't. Whether you tweeted or not you had the plan to tweet.

I don't even want to joke about the canine and snail. You're not allowed to joke about it if you don't want to look about it fuck it i actually did not tweet it i did get drunk and i still had the wherewithal to not tweet that oh and so it made its way into a uh our yak group chat and owen made his way into the act group chat and was immediately removed yeah that's right uh ow, why don't you say what he said on the air with the text that got him removed. Just say it here, just to make sure that we have a double

confirm, like good journalists. I said, come on, a little bestiality for the boys? Despicable. And he said this moments after being added to the group chat as well as the very first is his first impression and he got yeah from the group chat from that but that's not even the point of this the point is the picture went to the group chat the password went to the group chat for the

account and then the entire internet saw it because the yak tweeted out norman's dick norman's as a gift for the loyal listeners who listen to the podcast, should we say who it was that tweeted it out? Yes, say it. Say it. It was Caleb Presley. It was Caleb. Caleb asked for it. Caleb wanted to do it.

Caleb is more chaotic than people give him credit for. Far more. Far more. Far. They think he's a good country church boy. Oh, my God. No, he's farting in church. Me and KB drank with him Saturday. We got a drink with him No, he's farting in church. Me and KB grabbed a

drink with him Saturday. We got a drink with him, he was just farting. He was farting the entire time. He ordered a... He walked into... Stomach surgery, give him a break. We walked into a French bistro. It was a bistro. And he said six Guinnesses and six shots of tequila. That was what

goes together. That was a normal order. That was our first drink. There's just us three the e equals mc squared equation for farts yes guinness and tequila is like the perfect that's like a mathematical we were like what is that smell like what is that and then he was like oh yeah that was me like yeah 20 minutes later yeah he's he's he's a naughty boy he's mischievous and he's a farter he's a known farter he's mischievous, and he's a farter. He's a known farter. He's the one that tweeted it out. And so it was only right that Monday's entire show was entirely about this dog dick again. It's 120 minutes of dog dick.

So it's just an odyssey. It's now a third dog dick show we've done in the span of six days. It's an Easter vigil mass worth of dog dick. Right. It's this, uh, star Wars trilogy of dog dick. But,

uh, we, we got to, we got to the bottom of, Oh, I'm being in the group chat and I think there's even going to be a t-shirt of it. So let's take a listen.

Merch. Honest question. No judgment, right? Like we're in a judgment free zone here. If I were to put that picture of that dog, don't know whose dog it is, with blacked out eyes on a T-shirt, is it appropriate to wear? Under no circumstances, but it would sell like hotcakes. It would sell like hotcakes.

I think one of those extremely translucent blurs where you can definitely still see the length and the texture i think you'd have to have it on the back of the shirt so you could consent on the front do you want to see a dog yeah question mark and you could take off a jacket maybe maybe it's like uh a truck driver and in the back it's like if you can see this you're too close but it's like 100 feet away. Everyone can see it. The guy in NASA who always tweets those pictures. Or there's like a flap over it like an advent calendar and you have

to like reveal. I'm thinking of it on the back of like a jean jacket and then there's like a mud flap and then you like pull up the mud flap and there's the dog's penis. Maybe like a pockets shirt where you can rip it down and pull the pocket down. Just flash the pocket.

Put it back up with some Velcro or something like that. I don't know. I just think that... Get Welker on that. Let's see if they have an archetype. Before we got the green light to even post it on Twitter, we were told that... What? Never got the green light.

We were told that that is too inappropriate, too jarring and shocking. We have to shrink it and make it twice the size. So that is just half of the dick that's 50% of the actual so we will give you the unedited version on some fabrics it was a hilarious Friday night at like 11pm I was laughing

so hard as the internet because like that was a perfect time too where there wasn't a lot going on and obviously I'm biased from my own twitter feed but it was like 90 of the internet was just talking about a dog stick but i think we can do better i think we have to have some incentive so one of us will tweet it out again i don't know who uh-huh and every hundred retweets it gets we will double its size we should actually start doing like games

where the loser has to tweet the dog. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It just becomes a thing that every like everyone has to see someone randomly tweeting it with no context. It'll be a cursed image. My favorite part of Friday night was Owen's brief. Yes. Get on in here.

He said he's in a meeting. He is. Owen's in a meeting. His brief yet incredibly memorable appearance in the yak group chat, which I think lasted one text and maybe two texts and four minutes. You let him in, right? I put my fucking name and integrity on the line by adding Owen to the Yak group chat. And he came in. Owen has been added.

And then one text from Owen. How about a little bestiality for the boys? FTB. And I booted him. Yeah. Gone. That was weird. That was really weird by him.

But he was pretty nervous. He texted me and Kyle on a side chat and said, was that big cat that booted me? And I was like, yeah. He's pissed. Turn in your laptop. I would have booted him if you had not just because it's a very funny thing to kick kicking people out of a group chat

and also removing yourself is the best look who it is fresh out of a meeting who invited him I want to know I want to know what his fucking name is I was just wondering how he knew to come in

what's your last name is. I was just wondering how he knew to come in. I know it. What's your last name, Owen? Roder. Owen Roder. So is your name a phonetic homage to the Oakland Raiders? Owen Roder. Oakland Raiders.

Sounds dangerously similar. You're dangerously close. Wait, is it R-O-T-O-R? Sounds like one of those nicknames that the Cubs manager had in Rookie of the Year. Owen Roeder. Yes. Oh, yeah. Rowan Roeder.

Maybe it's a Rowan Gardner type of thing. Rotary Digger. Owen, who tweeted the dog dick? I did not tweet the dog dick. Wasn't really the question. Sounds pretty guilty. Owen, did you tweet the dog dick? No. You hear how his voice cracked right there, though you tweet the dog dick? No.

You hear how his voice cracked right there, though? But that's also classic Owen. Owen, did you tweet the dog dick? Good question. No. We're getting somewhere. Yes. We're learning his tales. Do you guys think Owen tweeted the dog dick?

I think. Ask him. Owen, did you tweet the dog dick? No. That's good. He's learning. He's learning. I don't know. What happened to you in the dog dick? No. That's good. I believe him. He's learning. I don't know.

What happened to you in the group chat, Owen? I can't even look at you right now. Say what you said. Neither can I. Yeah, that was tough. I was in Philly with Kareem, sitting on the couch, watching some games. On stream or off stream? Off stream. Just private. other you let Kareem

look at the group chat too? no well I tried I got added to a group chat that I didn't have any of the numbers I said whoa man you have my number? I have yours you have Nick's? I didn't even have time to see the names

you had time to see the names. You had time to text. It's starting to fall apart. You had time to text. And I said, Kareem, I think I was just added to the Yak Group chat. And he said, wow, let me see. And then I said, never mind. I'm out. I was gone.

You and your fucking stories, Owen. That was good. That was a. It happened unprecedented. There was no reason for why you were included and then discluded. Nothing happened in the interim, right? Or did you say something? You didn't even have time to make

a greeting to the boys. No, I got a text in. What did it say? It was from Caleb. Who's this? Yeah, somebody said, like, Owen. Like, what's up? Owen, you're our boy.

And then Big Cat said, no human slash dog porn hybrid, Owen. Only rule we have. And you said, come on. A little bestiality for the boys? That's literally the only rule. You can do anything else. Nick came out as a Nazi last week on the chat. You were added at 1240 and you were booted at 1241.

What games were you watching? At 1240. 1240, you were watching games, Brandon? No, that was probably Tulsa at that point. Yeah. No, Wyoming, Hawaii. Yeah. No, Wyoming, Hawaii is still going on.

Are you sure? 1240? I think that's the... I embellished a little bit. Oh, okay. I was going to say. Owen, was this your birthday weekend or was that last weekend? That was last weekend.

Shit. My bad, dude. That's all right. 23, uh, 22. Atlantic city,

right? Yeah. Was it awesome? Yeah, it was fun. Nice. Would you like to know the text from the boys about you after you left? Not really.

Oh, tell him, tell him anyway, dude, he doesn't get that. I want to see Dan says, ha ha. I was about to do that. Tell him anyway. Nah, dude. He doesn't get that. You don't want to see. Dan says, ha ha, I was about to do that. Booting you.

See you, Owen. Try again later. Who was that? That was, again, Big Cat. And then Nick says, that's not the Owen I know and love. Wasn't. Yeah. And Dan follows up.

He was very active. He's probably all hopped up on a movie he's watched 10 times before true and i didn't watch a single movie and then caleb just answered with a with a gif of mr peanut what i wanted to do on was do the uh was to do the my favorite ump the boom see ya i was gonna send you that gif and then kick you out. Yeah, that would have been better if you guys traumatized it a little bit instead of just the immediate. We had to get you out. So all these gifs were Caleb? Yeah, no.

Caleb was big time on one. Huge on one. That's how he communicates now. Yeah. Huge gif guy. All right, Owen, you can hang out if you want. Yeah, can I listen? Yeah.

You can listen anywhere. No, but Owen's just a chill guy. Alright, Owen, you can hang out if you want. Yeah, can I listen? Yeah. You can listen anywhere. No, but Owen's just a chill guy. What was up with the bestiality shit, though? Why don't we just clear that air? I just want to know what was up with it. People are asking. We were all sharing dog dick memes. Yeah. And then you crossed a line.

I thought the meme was pretty funny. Owen texted me on the side and said, hey, I just made this, and it was pretty funny. Owen texted me on the side and said, hey, I just made this. And it was the Mr. Wood meme with Norman's penis. And then he said, wait a second, that's just porn. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. Would you wear a shirt with a dog dick on it?

Maybe if it just said on the front, like, do you want to see a dog dick? Oh, okay. I think we should mock this shirt up. Let's mock it up. Let's do the front in your font. Yeah, I will allow it. Do you want to, in the small, see a dog dick in script?

$100,000 usage fee. You will have to pay me. Right. Perfect. Throwback feel to it. Dog dicks of yesteryear. Of yore. Yeah, I want a 2021 calendar where just every month is the dog day.

But the front is a bunch of different puppies that all look cute. So you don't know what you're mounting. Or like a word a day calendar that you just rip off. And every day is a roulette of whether you're going to see a dog's dick. That would be good, too, if it was Norm. And it's the same picture every single month. And then it's just like the background is like snow. And then, you know, spring.

And so just the background changes just for the weather. But it's just Norm in every single picture. The same exposed penis. Ah,'s just Norman. Every single picture. The same exposed penis. Ah, shit. It's iconic. It's like a sign to be born under. It's like an age of Norman's penis. It's like the age of Aquarius.

The Lion's Gate has fallen. The fucking spoof puppy's calendar. They sell it at the Scholastic Book Fair. Fucking kids think they're going to see a dog. January. January rolls around. Fuck. So maybe enough about dog dicks.

Yeah, let's stop talking about that bullshit. We're not children. We're becoming one dimensional a bit. Because we're only talking about canine. What's next? Yeah. What do we? Circumcision talk. We talked a lot about circumcision.

We had a deep conversation about human circumcision. And boy, was it a bunch of laughs. I think that Owen ranked it one of our top wackiest bits of the week. Riffs. Is that right? One of our wackiest riffs. He's nodding yes. He's nodding yes.

We didn't even touch on shmagma. So that's how you know it was good. And that's how you know that we had the governor on. We weren't letting it fly. We weren't playing blue. We wanted to keep it a little bit clean. After this conversation that we're about to listen to, did any of you go back in your mind or just in visual evidence and judge the quality of the circumcision you've received? I think we all did.

I went immediately to the bathroom. Yeah, I went and checked the quality of the circumcision you've received. I think we all did. I went immediately to the bathroom. Yeah, I went and checked. I remember my circumcision, though. It was the day I turned 15. My parents brought me. This is true. And I was so nervous that, yeah, I got botched. Wait, you were nervous so it got botched?

Wouldn't the doctor being nervous botch it? Why didn't he just put your dick in a vice? No, I was shaking. And you know I get nervous. Your hand doesn't shake. Your dick shakes when you're nervous? My dick shakes when I'm nervous. Like Owen's leg over there. Wow, so in what way

was it botched? Was it too much off or is there still a little bit sticking around? There's like a rat tail of skin. It looks like a punky 90s 10 year old. It's like a punky 90s like a 10 year old it's like a harry krishna or a yeah just like a padawan jedi yeah just has that little dangling well nick is notoriously biased in disfavor of himself i think some of us might be the opposite we should do a peer evaluation

oh yeah oh we should go on a group vacation, do like a team building exercise. We'll go down to Mexico. You can get your extra foreskin braided or have some beads hanging off the end of it. Just go beachside. And we'll all look at each other's penises and see how good it was. Or do you propose we do this anonymously? We do like a police lineup of just our penises. You'll know my dick when you see it.

You know how dogs start to look like their owners? I think to a man, everybody's dick would be obvious on this show. Oh, yeah. It's not going to be a dick secret. There's nothing about any of our dicks that's subtle or ambiguous.

We all have very obvious dicks. It's not a matter of getting it right or wrong. It's how fast we get it done. Right. It's a speed test. Mine looks like how I converse with others. If that makes sense. Why won't it look me in the eye? My dick hole never makes eye contact. Let's get into the circumcision talk. Norman's only six months

old, which means... He's gonna grow. Yeah. Let's get into the circumcision talk Norman's only six months old Which means He's gonna grow Yeah Yeah No I grew into my dick So you were just massive off the rip My parents

I was They thought I was a Siamese twin For the first six months Take a puppy's paws You know when you see a puppy Oh he's gonna be big He's gonna be big Look at that baby's dick

He's gonna be at least six feet. This is going to be crazy. Wearing pampers as a baby. Didn't even stop at diapers. He's going to be a heartbreaker. A little hymen ripper. That's the weirdest thing. Commenting that on an ultrasound or a newborn.

You can tell. He's going to be a little heartbreaker. And let's be honest. Nurses notice that shit If anyone does it's a nurse Nurses notice it and they talk about it With other nurses I just know that they do I know they do

Absolutely do Nurses gossip about The penises they see There's no doubt in my mind. You think? I know. I know. What about HIPAA?

They don't give a fuck about that. My mom was a nurse. She used to come home and make a meatloaf and tell us what fucking dick she saw during the day. He's right. It's foul. It's what nurses do. He's right. That's what nurses do. He's right. When my son was born, there was multiple nurses who

complimented his circumcision. Really? You get a picture of the dick and they'll be like, whoops, this was for the nurses group chat. Seriously, they said that because it was at the hospital right after and they're like, that was a great one. My doctor must have... There's bad ones? Oh yeah that was a great one. My doctor must have had one.

Oh, yeah. Mine was botched. My doctor had a tremor and had like a gallon of Mountain Dew before mine. Then my dick looks like the end of a pool noodle. There's no, it just ends. Just shorn off. You're still collecting some like malpractice checks. Yeah.

It was just filleted up like ribbon. The flaps. Nurses are really complimenting circumcisions. Oh yeah. Though when I do it... It's taboo. When you do the complimenting or the circumcisions? How do you compliment?

How do you compliment a circumcision? Damn, they got you just right. Perfect job. Well, you have to have seen bad ones to know what a good one looks like. Yeah, that's just the implication of that is something you don't want to ask questions. So I could spot, I could discern a bad from a good, but could I, what about a good from a medium? Or a good from a great. I don't think I could differentiate an A from a B.

Yeah, you could definitely do A to F. They said your kids was great. Not just good. Great. I don't think I could differentiate an A from a B. Yeah. You could definitely do A to F. They said your kids was great. Not just good. Great. And it was two different nurses who said it to me, and I was like, what is going on? Like, were you concerned? No. You must have had a look of concern.

Did they say it independently of one another? Yeah. Wow. We're not supposed to say anything. One brought them back and was like, they did a great job. And then the other maybe like seven hours later was changing him or something and was like,

oh, what a beautiful circumcision. My word. Keep this between us, fellas, but that penis is immaculate. A good moil will make you admire, but a great moil will make you ponder. Yeah. Oh, you think A good moil will make you admire, but a great moil will make you ponder.

Oh, you think there's people who are walking around, like, spotting it, being like, oh, that's a shlomo. I can spot that anywhere. Like it's an artist. Like, it's like, oh, I could tell his work. Yeah. That's a Rubin. Yep. Did you use Dr. Rosenstein? Yeah.

Oh my God. I thought so. You could tell how he frames the head. What is that? Circa 92 to 95 when he got a little experimental? He's a pointillist. You could tell that's before they went electric.

That was his heaviest blue face. Yeah, so that was circumcision, guys. And after that talk, it made me look at my penis. And that's not the only time I look at my penis. Oh? Yes. Do you know the other time? It's right before I'm about to penetrate a pussy.

And it's when I want to last long. I want to make the woman feel good. And, you know, I'm looking at my hard, hard, hard dick and I want to last longer. So I pull out a Roman swipe. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer. You know, thinking about baseball doesn't always work uh the folks never has folks at roman an online men's health company are changing the game with roman swipes the secret to longer lasting sex roman swipes are clinically proven as a way to last longer in bed they're effective they're easy to use and fast acting and they don't require prescription roman can ship swipes to you in a discreet unmarked package and the swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it they're super easy to use just take the swipes out of the packet swipe it on let it dry and you're good to go that's it go to get roman.com slash yak and get your first month of swipes for just five dollars when you choose a monthly plan that's get roman.com slash yak y a k nick i didn't know you get hard you know let's see yeah uh sometimes every once in a while it's like hayley's comet yeah every 88 years and it sounds like a cicada.

It does. It's coming back. It's never a woman's looks that makes your penis hard. So what is it, like a graphical image or something? Just a perfectly placed pun? Yeah, it's a real good logo. You're like, oh, God, you see Pepsi's rebranding. The old logo's inside of the lowercase e of Pepsi.

More than nostalgia to some, like, 90s branding. Like, oh, I used to know that brand. Oh, Tamagotchi. Boing, boing, boing. And suddenly, he's rock hard. What a joyous addition Owen has been to this show and our lives. How do we make sure that Owen doesn't get too big for his britches? Well, he has a two-month contract. He has

three days left. He's very worried about it. Yeah, you don't know what he's got until it's gone. He's nervous. It's weighing on him, yeah. I think the best way to really make yourself known to the boss is you just walk right

into his office and you say i'm fucking owen i am fucking owen that's in the manual yeah oh it's the manual for working your way up the ladder if you're reading a business book if you're reading fucking uh emotional intelligence 2.0 you know that you're marching dead into the boss's office and taking the bull by his horns. And that's exactly what Owen did when he walked into Stuhl Presidente's office. Owen, talk to us about it. Take it from here, man. Yeah, I was definitely very nervous.

I had been purposefully avoiding any interaction with him. Had you succeeded at that? Yeah. You had never had any interaction with Dave Portnoy? I talked to him briefly my second day here on the rundown. I lasted about 15 seconds on there. Been there, brother. Yeah.

This was the second interaction I ever had with him. I think looking back in hindsight, it was good to rip the second interaction I ever had with him. I think looking back in hindsight, it was good to rip the Band-Aid off in sorts. Why were you avoiding him, though? I just think he's maybe obviously the most important person here, but also maybe the harshest critic. Most important here? What about us? Seriously.

What about Stephen Che and Nick? I mean, roan's giving you a microphone right now i meant just in the grand scheme of things i think you guys are more important to me oh easy we'll be sure to tell dave high praise he thinks we're more important but not in the grand scheme of things high praise In this room right now, we're more important. Out there, definitely not. No, I'd like to backtrack. You guys are, in all schemes, more important to me than Dave Portnoy. Fuck yeah, dude. And don't

forget it, Dave. Don't forget that we're the freaking top dogs in Owen's book out here. Hell yeah. So we had Owen in and we got into a bunch of hijinks. We did. But it wound up with him being an undercover

mole-ass snitch for us. It's not really how we put it on the show. But in retrospect and hindsight when we can be honest about it we were just

slapping a wire on him and telling us to go fucking squeal. Yeah, we try to make it sound cool like no, you're going to be like a spy. Spies are snitches. Spies are snitches spies are snitches be a ninja do an espionage but this we were on live radio so anyone he could have anyone could have slipped up uh said something personal private inappropriate

cancel worthy and you didn't care yeah he didn't care he's shaking his head and the spy equipment we gave him was in fact a pair of airp AirPods that are sticking out for the world to see. Yeah, kind of obvious. Not very clandestine of us, but at the same time, though, we're not fucking Q. We're not M from 007. Hey, we came up with this on like a moment's notice. It was a moment's notice. We did our best.

Here's the clip. The rat. Mission O in the rat. Eat that cheese. We want you to go into Dave's office and say, hey man, you had lunch yet? And this is a time to nut up

and to not put your head inside your shell but instead to extend your neck and say yes, I am going to do this thing that scares me in the interest of my own personal growth. Yeah, I'll do it. All right. You can warm up with other people on the way to Dave's. Yeah, warm up. All right?

The journey to Dave's. I think I'm just going to go right for it. Oh, okay. All right, well, you got to also, like, after that, talk to some other people. That's not your only gossip you get to bring back. One big fish doesn't account for a bunch of small fish. So you're going to go in, you're going to walk in and say, did you eat lunch yet?

I think I'm just going to be like, what's up? Okay, that works too. That works too. All right, call back in. All right. Be confident. Who answers the phone when I call in? His name's Steve. Just say, hey, it's in. Alright. Be confident. Who answers the phone when I call in? His name's Steve. Just say, hey, it's Owen from Jack.

He's listening now. Alright. Steve just said, hey, what's up, man? Steve, what did Owen say when you asked where he was from? Where he was? He just said he was from New York.

Nice. And then he hung up. Did you sense they looked around? We got confirmation. Yeah, an ironic look around. Yeah, could you sense that, Steve? Could you sense it? They did a little John Travolta look around.

Just kind of shoving it in your face. It was like a... Wow, that was... A shrug. That was a lot more than I thought. All right, here we go. You got this. This can only help your career.

Can't hurt it. People would kill for this opportunity. I feel like this is my booking stream. No. Not up. All right. Not up. He just took another sip of his coffee.

What are you doing? We're putting your call. Call. Yeah. I feel like he was going to just walk in and just do it. Do not call. Yeah. Is he going to call?

Here we go. Shut the phone out. What a guy. What a fucking guy. He's something else. He's trudging. No, he's actually walking confidently. This dude, he hasn't made a wrong move yet.

No, he hasn't. Name one. You can't. He's batting 1,000 when it comes to moves. Yeah. Even his bad ones are ultimately good. His jaggers are his best. I know.

Yeah, that story was electric. I don't know why I didn't think of that. I'm going to come in here. All right, Owen's on. I'm going to say three words. Owen, can you hear us? Owen. Yeah.

All right. All right, cool. We're just in your ear. All right, dude. Where are you alright fuck me how's it going

I just wanted to check in see what's up not much give us some more Owen lunch ask about lunch Not much. Give us some more, Owen. Lunch. Yeah. Ask about lunch. Ask about lunch.

Did you eat lunch yet? Oh, big cat. Oh, you asshole. I didn't think you were a fucking snitch. Yeah. Oh, big cat. Yeah, he kicked me out. What did he say to you?

You said big cat. Who put you up to this? He said you can get the pooch out. Why did you say my name? Why are you coming back? I don't know, man. Why did you say my name? Why are you coming back? I don't know, man. Why did he say, why did he say my name?

Why'd you say my name? Clearly dejected, Owen. Oh, he's better. Dejected. Oh, he hung up. Poor Owen. He's back. So walk us through that.

How'd that go? Uh, not great. Um, I walked in Yeah And he just said like What are you doing? And then I just said what's up? And he was like

What are you doing? And then I was like Just wanted to check in We heard that You were live on the air When you were saying all this Okay Yeah And then I was like, just wanted to check in. We heard that. You were live on the air when you were saying all this. Okay. Yeah. And then you guys, I heard the word lunch a lot.

I said, did you eat lunch yet? And then what did he say? And then he was like, are you recording yourself? Did you know Owen? I know him enough to know he wouldn't just waltz into my fucking office unless someone was directing him to it. No, on his own. That actually is the most insulting thing that's ever been done by anybody to think, I'd think this kid would just waltz in and be like, what do you want for lunch?

I took one look at him. I'm like, who's in your ear? You knew right away that he's a liar? Did I know right away? Do you think I'm an idiot? He just walked in. He's like, so what's up? It's like, all right, who are you talking to in the ear?

He tried. He tried. Good job. He tried. Oh, not at all. Almost got it. It's tough. We'll try again.

We'll try again next week. We'll try again next week. I don't know. Maybe go back without any. Without your earbuds but be holding them in your hands we need to get Owen better equipment some sunglasses with a camera

on them or something a big fake nose and mustache a patriotic pin that has a camera in it my left leg just won't stop quartering oh my god, it actually really is I can tell your voice sounds very nervous. Yeah. What was the worst?

It's over. It's over. Yeah, what was the worst that could have happened there? Talk us through what's scaring you, that Dave just doesn't like you or that he fires you on the spot because you asked a silly question. That's not going to happen. Yeah, I guess that could be worst case. You gave me up, by the way, so quickly. Yeah, his eyes just instill fear.

I couldn't hear what he said, but I could hear the look of disgust on his face. Like the muscle movements that it takes to make that, I heard. Yeah. He's still repulsed. Keep that in the back of our heads, though, then Owen will fold

in a second. Yeah. We're basically the Nelk Boys. We just did a fucking sick-ass prank. Swipe up. Except I would have just been doing, though, then Owen will fold in a second. We're basically the Nelk Boys. We just did a fucking sick-ass prank. Except I would have just been doing moans or something in his ear. You should have gone in and pretended to jerk off in front of him or something. You should have done a Joshy Crocs.

I would love to see you two just at Potbelly enjoying a nice lunch. You and Dave or you and Josh Kroc? Owen and Dave. I'd love to see them. Yeah, calm your leg. Calm that RLS.

Yeah, just relax, dude. Relax. You did good. Let's get him his annex. Let's get this kid his annex. Just checking in. All right. That was perfect.

Now, no matter what happens in the election tonight the biggest part of your day is over you cross the hump while we're all still ramping up for it yeah that's true I suppose what if he just damn what a day Owen you'll remember this one for the rest of your life first memory

first memory there it is November 3rd 2020 yep huge day it's going to be repressed You'll remember this one for the rest of your life. First memory. First memory. There it is. November 3rd, 2020. Yep. Huge day. It's going to be repressed, though, so you're only going to remember the colors and the smells. No, I'll remember his eyes. You're going to have a negative connotation with lunch forever. Yeah.

Anytime someone says lunch, your leg's going to start quivering. Dude, credit to you, though, dude. Like, that took balls. I don't think a lot of people would have done that. Let's try and get someone else to do it. Just so you get a litmus test of who will do this. Yeah, let's have... Yeah, but let's not make them do it, but let's see if they will.

Wait, someone else or Owen to go up? I was going to say someone else. Oh, okay. Well, I was going to say, Dave just went into Erica's office. Maybe Owen can knock on the door. All right. To the bathroom. Let's send him. Dave just went into Erica's office. Maybe Owen can knock on the door. All right. To the bathroom. Let's send him.

Dave just went into the shitter. Let's see if you could knock up a... Yeah. Knock on the door and be like, hey, just check it out.

Hurry him along. Hey, sorry about earlier. Do you need help? Oh, Jesus Christ. I see you're peeing out of that dick. So you have eaten lunch. What was that?

Lomo Saltados? Just going. Colin, again, they're chatting right there. The whole chatty crew is right there. Go fucking just stand over there. Colin and stand over there. Go. Just have your phone.

Why Kevin and Danielle? We'll be quiet. Just keep it on speaker. That's much better. Speaker. Speaker, just hold your phone. Do we have any spy music while he's walking out? Just hold your phone.

Fuck. Hold your phone and put it on speaker. We'll be dead quiet. That's good, Kobe. Just in front of the chatty people? Yeah. Or should he go to Jen Simons? Yeah, this is for permission to get a camera guy to do a segment

on the election. Alright, go. Here we go. Go, man. You got it. No more talking. He's walking. He's walking down the hall. I don't need to talk.

Yeah, what are you guys up to? What are you doing with your mind, bro? I don't know. It's my first time meeting him. No shit. I heard I just heard your voice. I didn't know what you were talking about. Oh, no.

What did they mean? How did it come about? They just told me to walk in there and say what's up. Were you on the phone with one of them? Yeah. The funniest part. Sorry, are you recording? No.

Yeah. Yo, what's up? What's up, man? Are you recording right now? Owen. Owen. Quit recording them and come back. He just ran away.

He didn't just run. He just had a recap talk of the initial incident. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Nobody had any other juicy gossip, I suppose. Oh, bullshit. You didn't really try. You were talking about yourself.

I mean, Owen is the talk of the office now. He really is. Oh, he used that to become the gossip. He said, I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people. I'll be the gossip. It's like falling on the sword. Brave of you, Owen. Mighty balls you have.

Go walk past loud Sean and just say, speaking of the devil, and then walk past. And then walk away. Just be like, damn, speak of the devil. Do that to Erica. Can I do literally anything else? Okay, Erica, then, if you don't want to do that loud Sean.

Owen, can I say something nice? Yeah. You look really cute today. You do look cute. I appreciate that. You're a little frazzled. Your hair's a little unkempt, but in a cool way. You got your mumps on. You got your I Voted sticker. Yeezys. The Yeezys, the skinny jeans.

You're looking cute. You're cute as a button. I appreciate that. Okay. You needed that. Now go make fun of Erica. Now go try to fist fight Dave. We build him up. Then we break him down. We're like, rake hair.

He's still rattled. He's so rattled. You're good. I mean, Dave came in here after laughing about it. You're made now. You're made man. You are. Have you guys touched upon Stephen Chay's

Week 9 Power Rankings? Oh, come on. Do you care now? Ask what Erica thinks about the Week 9 Power Rankings. I've met Erica. She's nice. Put on those headphones. These? The other ones.

Undercover, Owen. That should be a segment. Go do the ad undercover. See if you can read an ad undercover with somebody. I really wish this went poorly. Do you think it went well?

Can we get it? It went well for you guys. A mobile mic for him? Or just like a body cam? Owen on the street? Owen in the office live on the yak I want Owen to rob a bank

while he's recording hey can I get your guys money I almost worked from home today you wish you had yeah we shouldn't have Rob have him rob a bank but like

like Ron said like the milk boys we should have yeah just like like pranking yeah like slide a note to the bank teller

and it's just they open it and it says always has yeah always has do it that's it

has your leg calmed down yeah can we do some breathing exercises yeah what do you want to do six in six out so rogan does what is it three seconds or six hold for one and then breathe out for six joe rogan said that he there was a moment where he was like if you just hold your breath long enough you can't get coronavirus yes and i was like is that true yeah that was a it was like

a test right like if you can hold your breath for 13 seconds, you don't have it. Yes. Yes. Or like if you can lie on your stomach. No, but he also thought that like if you breathe in deep in the sauna, it will kill this. And he. He kept on bringing it up. He kept on asking.

There is some research that says if you go in a sauna. He loves saunas. But it was like when you are just looking for someone to say, yes, that's a good idea. Every guest he had, it'd be like a doctor. He'd bring it up. The doctor would be like, no, that's not true. Bill Burr. Bill Burr would be like, what the fuck are you talking about?

A clergy member. Some ex-CIA agent like, I haven't heard that. He'd just keep bringing it up, being like, have you heard this? And then finally, Alex Jones was like, yes, that's true. I think TI this week was still trying to tell people that if they drink hot water, that it will rinse the bacteria down your throat and kill it before your stomach

bacteria will deal with it well enough. I'm going to try it. I'm going to give it a shot. So six in, hole for one, six out. Wouldn't that work the same way? I've been drinking coffee. Buying a home isn't as scary as you think it is.

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Dot org. Equal housing opportunity. And what were we just freaking talking about? Owen, weren't you about to scooch over and do some wacky shit? Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask some post questions. Go ahead, Nick. Post-aid questions.

So how'd that go? I was learning the same thing. Shit. Yeah. I think you were wondering if I told my parents. Oh, yeah. My dad had made a Twitter account around when I got hired.

So he follows like four accounts. It's like the Barstool Sportsbook, Barstool Radio, Bet the Pigskin, and Mike Francesa, I think. Yes. So when he picked me up from the train that evening i had asked him if he had seen anything about me on twitter he hadn't um but i briefed him on what happened and i told him that i had met dave um i live close to the train station so we went home and he said you should tell your mom that so i told her the story and she said oh that's fun it's like they're hazing you and uh no i was like no but like as friends don't touch that you're rubbing it against

the yeah um yeah they were excited yeah it sounds like it sounds so excited all right that sounds like an exciting ride home from the train station and and then your mom was over the moon about it. Yeah, she's happy for me. Yeah. I'm desperate to contextualize this some way. Like, did your dad, was he proud of you? Does he know who Dave is? Was he excited about it? Did he know about Barstool earlier, or is he just like,

this is your boss, so it's good that you talked to him? No, he follows Barstool. So I think obviously, like, proud in a workplace that i was able to interact with my boss but also as a fan how do you think it went um i like i said on the air i didn't think it went well but um people told me that it's probably a good thing there's a lot of uh there's a lot of chatter around the office right now. Dave the other day was like, I don't know that kid, but God damn it, do I respect him? So I've heard. I don't know.

I can't tell you that exactly, but I've heard that exist. That sentiment. I don't think I realize how bad of an idea it was to walk into his office. Oh, it was a terrible idea. Bad idea. But maybe that's why I was able to do it. Keep your head up, slugger. Keep chopping it up with that Nick and KB kid.

That's what your dad probably said. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are kind of his mentors. Do you think that Owen's dad sees you guys as kids? That's what he would say to Owen. Yeah. It's just a general term.

A couple of guys. He had asked about you once. He said, where are you two from? I told him. Cool. Yes, Owen. Fuck yeah. You know what Owen could use? A hefty dose of cocaine. Yes.

Just like, I feel like it would just open up his world. Wait, some what? Some coke. Some coke? I'm saying not even just like cocaine. Oh, you're talking about coke. What are we, in Oregon? I mean, that would be a good place for Owen to go and get some coke.

Brandon, did you see this? That they legalized all the fucking... I saw that. Where did they legalize? I was not part of the coke discussion, so I wasn't involved. But just the fact that they legalized coke the fucking i saw that i was like i was not part of the coke discussion so i wasn't i wasn't involved but just the fact that they legalize coke they legalize everything heroin heroin let's have it all mdma and coke buffet of hard drugs yes exactly and you can go out there to do whatever hard drugs you want right now so we had some crazy motherfuckers calling in, making sure that we were aware of this. The day after the election, they didn't care about who POTUS, FLOTUS, or the SCOTUS was.

All they cared about was where can we do some fresh lines of coke. I thought you were going to go with like BLOTUS. Yeah. That was, yeah. That would have. You want to run that back? Let's run that back. Can you just take this one? No, no, no. You do it. Yeah, run that back. That was perfect. Until you would have... You want to run that back? Let's run that back. Can you just take this one?

No, no, no. You do it. Run that back. That was perfect. Until you didn't use... You guys are kind of trying to give it to him like charity. Well, no. No, no, no.

That was going very well. We're better at rhyming on the fly than you, but that's not like that was your lifeblood. Please just do that and then use bloatus. See, he wasn't... He didn't care... He didn't care who was the potus, the... Fuck. Hang on, hang on. That's hard. Post- blotus. See, he wasn't... He didn't care... He didn't care who was the potus, the... Fuck.

Hang on, hang on. He didn't care who was the potus, the flotus, or the scotus. He just was caring about who was doing the cocus

up their noses. Yeah. No, that's not what... That's not how you said it, though. No, no, no. That's exactly it. What is it? Blotus or blotus?

Is that what you're saying or coctus, blotus? It was coctus. It was blotus. The one that rhymes with that. Blotus. Blotus? Is that what you're saying or Coctus? Blotus. It was Coctus. It was the one that rhymes with that. Blotus. Blotus. He didn't care about who the POTUS, COTUS, or FLOTUS was. He cared about who was the BLOTUS.

That sounds like you were describing someone who had kidney failure. Yeah, BLOTUS. Oh, the BLOTUS. He was BLOTUS. BLOTUS. Where were they from, Rowan? This guy was from North Jersey, okay? He was a Jersey boy.

But after that, we wound up talking to a couple dudes from Delco. We were talking big time to a couple dudes from Delco. It was just after the election, we just wanted to link in with all the locals down the eastern seaboard and let everybody get whatever was on their chest off their chest. And we almost wound up with a fight. This is... Oh, wait.

This isn't even the click. This is just Nick Coke. This is Nick Coke. Yeah, I fucked up. It's the whole thing. Oh, is it the whole thing? Yeah. The whole thing?

Yeah, yeah. It's everything. It's Nick Coke. It's Danny's from Delco. It's Libs from the Sticks. It's Big Baron Trump. We just played the hits when you weren't there, Brandon. That's a Baron Trump in there?

Oh, yeah. We did some Baron Trump. We were just... Did some Baron... We did. We ran out of good ideas. We were a Steve Clitt away from Batting the Cycle. Yeah, that really was.

Steve? Give us a taste of Steve. Just for the podcast only listeners. Give him a little Steve Clitt. Give us a little Cl Steve just for the podcast only listeners give him a little Steve Clit give us a little Clit Steve Clit on a Friday Brandon that was so gross damn see like

I don't know if I could do that like I would be a ball of nerves but you kill it you crush Steve Clit thank you you do always crush. Klitt. Yeah. You are Steve Klitt.

Yeah, I don't think. That's who you are. You are Steve Che anymore. People might say that. Yeah. You just love to. You've made the transition. Touch on the Klitt.

This is our Nick Koch, lives from the sticksicks, Standing from Delco, Barron Trump, Variety Hour. This was an all-time episode. All-time episode? It was very, very good. Oh, and is that true? For real? We hit three for three,

single, double, home run. And the triple is you eating pussy. Steve Click. We didn't have that. Do the sound real quick, Steven. Steven! Ew! That's freaking gross.

He started doing it before you even asked. I regret mentioning it because that was disgusting. Oh my God. Take back what I said. Go to the clip. Go to the clip. Steve Click. Nick is actually calling in right now, Nick.

Yeah. I don't know if this is you. This could be a pocket dial. But he's saying that he wants to talk about anything but politics. So that's perfect, I think. That's perfect for us right now to, you know, let us change paces a little bit. Nick. Speaking of politics, did you see that shit last night?

What? Yeah, Nick. Did you see that shit, Nick? Those county maps had me slobbering. That's your porn. I didn't hear about anything. Nick, yeah, get us right on the right track. Were we doing a little bit too much politics for you, my man?

Listen, I'm from New Jersey, New York area. So we would actually legalize New Jersey. So, you know, that's all I give a fuck about to be honest hell yeah oh nice i also saw in oregon there's like they legalized like pretty much all the drugs like coke and i'm not into that shit but they legalized like coke weed why not why not bro why not what's wrong with coke or you just don't want to say it on the air because you know Why not? Why not, bro? Why not? What's wrong with Coke? Nah, bro. I'm not about that life. Or you just don't want to say it on the air because, you know, you don't have to say it's you. You ever do a little Coke?

I asked for you to decide. So wait. How old are you? I am 14. Oh, dang, dude. Anything but politics, dude. Keep the 14 talk off the air, dude. Come on. That dude's doing coke right now.

Let's fucking dive into some coke. Let's dive into some coke. You don't fucking like coke? I could tell by the sound bouncing off of his walls that it was hitting a blow poster with Johnny Depp. Off his mirror. A boondock change, hitting a blow poster with Johnny Depp. It was right next to his boondock saints. He had a boondock saints.

A boondock saints, a mirror, and a Johnny Depp. The mirror was not on the wall, though. Freaking doing a little coke. Go out to Oregon. Now you can do coke for free. You don't like coke? You like sandwiches? You don't like coke? I heard they legalized coke out in Oregon. Did you hear about out in Oregon? I don they legalized Coke out in Oregon.

Did you hear about out in Oregon? I don't do Coke, but it's the thing that I wanted to call into the radio to talk about with you. You see who can do Coke out there now? He wanted to talk about anything but politics. Let's talk about the laws that were just passed. He's always counterintuitive, Nick. He just Everything

He wants to talk about politics Doesn't want to talk about politics Doesn't do coke Yo, anything but politics But you seeing this shit? What's this shit about coke? Yeah, dog The fucking first is weed

Now it's coke And that's all I care about really Is not to get political What's this shit about mushrooms? Are you fucking talking about a sandwich? Mushrooms and coke What are you talking about? Fucking pasta?

We're gonna go to Oregon just to eat pasta? Just to eat some fucking chicken marsala? Fucking go to Oregon? Nick The fuck? Nick Coke. Call in any time, Nick Coke. We might print up some Nick Coke shirts. A little brand infringement on Coca-Cola, but about cocaine.

Dan in Philadelphia is also calling in. He's recommending his friends listen to the Yak. Did you tell him to listen specifically to today's episode, Dan in Philadelphia? Dude, I'm sitting here working on the construction site. I got a group of guys here. It's 1259. I say, all right, let's turn on the Yak.

They say, what's the Yak? So I was this funny show, Barstool Bowl. We turn it on. You guys are talking about guy asses the entire time. Guy asses. It's a little construction site talk. Dude, what the fuck? Dude, what the fuck?

I know you're sitting up on a steel beam hooting and hollering at the asses walking by. You still whistle at anybody that walks by this site? Dude, they're giving me nicknames and shit now because of you. Because of yous. Why is it our fault that they realize that you're thick finally? That today's the day

they realize who's thick? Yeah, they were just like, they left listening. Why don't you watch their eyeballs? They're about to look into all the dude's ass. Yeah, but they're just

going to start catcalling dude's asses. Where's the site at? Did you tell them about irony? Tell them about our irony. KB, you got to get out of this. Keep it to women, ass.

All right, let's talk about chicks, ass. Women, ass. All right, what do you got? You ever been to Oregon? Fucking Oregon. Fat as stashes. You do coke off some ass. You do a coke off a man's ass in Oregon.

You need more Philly guys in that office. That's a fact. Shout out your union, bro. What local are you? 420? Local 98. Local 98. Oh, let's go. Electricians? I'm trying to get out. I'm trying to get out, though. I go to school at Drexel University. My co-op's coming

up. I plan on being a Roan's intern. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Well, hey, man. We appreciate it, Danny. Keep the boys listening. And I'm from Delco. And I'm from Delco. So don't forget me. Dan Panetta.

Dude, we knew you were from Delco. We knew you opened up your mouth. We could hear the 10-day-old wah-wah in your fucking mouth, in the back of your fucking mouth. You dumbass. I just had wah-wah on top of a trash can for lunch. Let's go. I know.

We know that. That was very obvious, Dan. Dan, thanks for calling in, pal. Obviously, you fucking mean it. I have to explain all that. Two incredible calls. That guy's full of surprises. What's next for him?

Yeah, we're just going down the eastern seaboard. New York by New Jersey, or New Jersey by New York, down to the trash cans in Philly. Dude, I was trying to show all my friends. You were homophobic slurs. You embarrassed me in front of my friends. He's about to have Helen nicknames. Yeah, he is.

Off the strength of our noticing guy ass. You don't think that a construction worker is busting some balls about somebody's fat ass? That's obviously happening. Hey, what are you listening to over there? That guy-ass show? We're the number one guy-ass

show on the show. Yack Radio. Tune in for some guy-ass. It's from cheek to cheek. It is Yack Radio. We're not the fuck FM. We're talking about guy-asses. We're talking about guy asses. The finest guy asses in Bergen County. It is kind of fuck FM-ish for us to be talking about guy ass like this.

We're dabbling in the fuck FM world. But like is fuck FM strictly hetero horny or is it pan horny? Fuck FM is just criminally horny. So it is just anything. Criminally horny local news. New mannequins were installed at the Macy's. Get in there while their shirts are still off. Horny at the most inane things.

They're stoked that the Lane Bryant just got new plus-size mannequins. Are they? What the fuck is, what's next? What are they going to make fucking, nah, I can't. I wish I could ironically say, no. Say the things that you want to say? Darling, don't you know I voted straight ticket? Of course I voted red.

Don't you know where we are? Oh, shit. Why, we're from the sticks, my darling. We're in Boone County, don't you know? The products of the Hatfields. It's in our blood. What would Margaret Hatfield do, honey? I'm talking to you specifically woman to woman i haven't seen polls that incorrect since the southern exposure got broken into

we're from the sticks yeah the sticks showed out last night god damn didn't they didn't they but they weren't well i guess the libs from the sticks fucking... They tucked their tails and ran. The libs didn't fucking... The liberals from the sticks didn't even fucking... They didn't even put their jersey on. They didn't come out at all. Well, let the big states carry it, honey.

Let Pennsylvania carry it. We'll take the night off. We're going to be a hero. Haven't you seen what Nate Silver sang, my love? Have some more jerky. Have some respect for Nathan. All right, so this character isn't a lib. No, he's not.

He's just, he's... I thought he was a liberal, but he's just extremely country. Yeah, okay. He's just a liberal from the stick. So every... All right, we're doing a different character. Yeah, this is his neighbor. His neighbor who's picked up...

His half-brother. Yeah. His half-brother. Corolling brothers. Yeah. They were raised on the other side of the holler, but it's the same mother. Yeah. The same mom sensibility.

Yeah. They're like... They look like shit. They look like... They're disgusting. Danny from Delco. Eyes on their temples. Danny from Delco wants to talk, Danny from Delco. Eyes on their temples. Danny from Delco wants to talk about Nick from Delco.

Uh, uh oh. I guess we'll go across Delco lines. Danny, uh, what, do you think that Nick misrepresented Delco? Uh,

yeah. How you guys doing? Um, I just want to say, fuck that homophobic asshole Dan from Delco. I'm the real Dan from Delco. And I want to call him out to Ruffin Reality, or I'll meet him outside of Nick's Roast Beef and fuck him up there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go. So, Danny, you're peeping man ass all day, aren't you? What's the wrong with a couple of gay cheeks? Yeah, dude. Yo, so, Danny. That's whateping man ass all day, aren't you? What's wrong with a couple of gay cheeks? Yeah, dude. Yo, so, Danny. That's what I'm saying, because absolutely nothing. I'm not a parent, but I want to stick up for all my boys that are.

Yeah, they don't know. Don't get twisted. Stick up for your gay boys, dude. Yo, so, Danny, what is your profession? So, when we book the rough and rowdy fight, it's Danny in construction. Danny, local 98 versus Danny from Del delco i'm i'm a landscaper danny the landscaper temple i go to temple he goes to dretzel so i'll meet him anywhere and he was an electrician wasn't he yeah well he was local 98 you're landscaping you're out there

ground him yes dude i'm out here I'm out here in the sun. I'm out here moving around, working. He's fucking sitting in a house under a beam doing nothing. He is a trucking worker. Don't do nothing. This motherfucker's under. I love this. Dude, right.

They're just under a beam. They're fucking. They're a fucking. It's like a hammock. They're just fucking marching out. They're sitting under a bean they're a fucking it's like a hammock they're just fucking munching out they're sitting under beans nothing

they don't even sit on the beans anymore they sit underneath them they just sit under ignore him honey he's just under a beam somewhere yes dude thank you Danny

let's set it up dude let's set it up we like both of our Danny's I do like both yeah go prep bro go prep let's go Danny appreciate it Danny thank of our Danny's go prep bro go prep

let's go Danny appreciate it Danny thank you for the call we gotta get our Danny versus Danny I love that the landscapers are calling out the union guys for just fucking posting up under a beam they might as well be in a bed it goes

Tempur-Pedic sleep number under a beam, water. I think under a beam is between the sleep number and the Tempur-Pedic. You're asking me what my sleep number is? Bro, I'm under a beam. I'm under a beam, dude. I got the purple under a beam mattress. Just comes on a truck and unfurls. They just package it in a small ice box. This guy's lunching under a beam mattress. Just comes on a truck and unfurls.

They just package it in a small ice box. This guy's lunching under a beam. The landscapers are the real ones. They're moving around under nothing

but the fucking sun. The fucking sun. The fuck? You'll see me under a fucking beam. Holy motherfuckers under beams. They want handouts. They're trying to get a fucking...

They're trying to get 15 an hour and they're under a beam. Hey, they just... They're union fought for that. They just sit under beams all day. I don't care if they're working under a beam. They're still under a beam. Might as well be a hammock, dude. They're fucking living under that beam.

Look at him. All comfortable under that fucking beam. He's like doing manual labor under it. Just sweating his ass off. Huffing a ball. He's under a beam! The fuck kind of cheat code is that? You see me under a beam? No, I'm hopping 50 bag mulch over

my shoulder. I'm sitting on a lawnmower fucking doing edges, dude. I'm not under a beam. We have to set that fight up, dude. I know we were trying to get some kind of rough and rowdy shit. I don't know if Pennsylvania's on some bullshit or they're actually on one.

We need a round robin with all three of the last callers. Honestly. So we had Nick. Nick was the electrician. No politics, Jersey. He's all coked up. You hear about Coke? You got to go out to Oregon to have Coke.

You can do anything out there. Oh, my God. All right, let's continue our tour of the Eastern Seaboard. We got any Delco boys on the line? Dan from Delco is calling back in to defend himself. Dan, Danny. Put the boys on the line. Who was on the line last time?

Some dirtball from Temple? Yeah. Yeah. Dirtball from Temple. Tell that boy I'll meet him at Nick's Roast Beef right now. I'll get a free... Oh, he did say that. He said he'd fuck you up at Nick's Roast Beef.

Wait, which Nick's though? Because I don't want you to go to the wrong Nick's. Dude, there's only fucking one Nickicks that he better be talking about. I can clarify. That's number one. Number two, I'll go there, I'll set up three fucking cameras and beat his ass right out front. That joint will be on fucking Welcome Rowdy tomorrow.

I don't even need the Barstool production. I'll produce that shit myself. I mean, that is a good way to get your foot in the door. This guy, what are you under right now? I'm driving in the car now. I just left work. I was getting called a fucking, you know, I'm not going to say the word.

Q to say the B word. Q to take an early lunch because you're getting called out by the boys. Oh, man. Yeah, and another thing. This dude's a fucking landscaper, bro. I was a landscaper when I was 12 years old. I had a fucking 30 client business when I was 12 years old. I had a fucking 30-client business when I was 12 years old.

That shit's over with. We're moving on. That shit's over with. It went bankrupt. It did go bankrupt. Landscaping is obsolete. Now, I hear your points, but what do you say to your critics who say that you spend a lot of time under a beam? Well, they wouldn't be wrong.

I mean, there's a lot of beams that I'm under. Is it as luxurious as people say? I'll put my house on it that I'm making more money than that fucking idiot. But at what cost? Is the beam really as plush as they say? Like I said, I want out. Listen, I'm making like fucking $25 an hour right now. I'm willing to throw all that away.

I will take an unpaid internship at Barstool. An unpaid. I'll throw away $25 an hour just so that way I can work at Barstool. The Danny Brawl. The Danny Brook. We're just going to have— I'll fight him rough and rowdy, or I'll fight him at fucking Nick's Roast Beef right now. I got three cameras.

I'll set them bitches up. No problem. Three cameras? You said that before. Three Beef right now. I got three cameras. I'll set them bitches up. No problem. You said that before. Three cameras? Why do you got three cameras? Three camera setup, brother. It's a simple sitcom setup. Easy peasy. It's a multi-cam, dude.

What do you want, a single cam? Can you send in a Can you first send in a three camera production of you shadowboxing? Or maybe a storyboard. Storyboard what the fight would look like, maybe. Two hits, maybe. You hitting him, him hitting the floor. But how it would look in a three-camera setup.

Maybe something like that, Danny. Right, well, we'll cut it. We'll cut it all the way. You know what I mean? We'll do mad cuts. It'll be great. Danny, dude, I'm all in for the Danny Brooke. I want to make it happen.

I think it should happen at Ye Olde Ale House out in, I mean, it's not Delco, but I think that you should go out to Plymouth White Marsh and do it at Ye Olde Ale House. But that's just my bias. That's where I cut roast beef. Yeah. I mean, listen, Rowan, I love you, but this fight's got to be in Delco. All right. All right. All right. All right. Delco. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. That's fine, dude. I was put on the mat. Do it at the stadium. Do it out front of the stadium.

Done. Done. Done. All right. You're in Habertown. Perfect. All right, Danny. Thank you.

We'll probably hear from other Danny relatively soon because that's the nature of a Danny back and forth. But I think we're going to have a Danny, Brooke. I think that we need to make it happen. I think so. These boys need to brawl out. Or they can just bat the battle of their jobs. Send in highlight tapes.

One landscaping, one fucking beam sitting. Because that's how we revitalize America. We make people prideful of how hard they're working. If they're just taking videos of themselves fucking landscaping hard as shit, or fucking beam laying, like fucking sweating their ass off,

fucking laying out beams. The funniest part is that he 100% got mercifully roasted by his co-workers. Calling him all the Q's and F's. And now he's like driving home, fuming's like i gotta redeem myself yo dude you're sounding super lgbtq you're sounding real lettered out over there dude yeah yeah lettered out it's the new slur i like to think

progressive slurs they don't have a speaker so he's like yo my favorite show's coming on you gotta listen to this and he hands over like earbuds they're just like looking at him in disgust dude fuck he put two of his earbuds into like his foreman and like the other guy's ears dude this is my day to to get in close with the foreman and he fucking blew it but if it led to a fight, if it led to a Delco fight, I'm all for it. Yeah, they sounded pretty equal.

Yeah, they really did. Yeah. I mean, their voices were perfect. I can't tell which is which. No. They're both Danny. It could be the same guy. It could be like

Sherry from Lamb Chop just fucking throwing her voice fucking just a beautiful ventriloquist. I'm Danny. No, I'm Danny. But landscaping business. He had it when he was 12. He's probably just convinced.

Astronaut. Dude. This man is talking about chores. I had a landscaping business when I was 12. I like printing out flyers and gave them to my entire neighborhood. And I think I had two clients, two total clients. Two clients. Yeah, it's tough to call it a business.

I never incorporated. I never set up the LLC or whatever the fuck. So we've become a voice-ass show. Like, we just do freaking voices now. Yeah. we become a voice-ass show. Like, we just do freaking voices now. Yeah. We're just voice-ass actors. We're, like, freaking Matt Groening over here. Yeah.

We're, like, freaking. Frank Azaria. Yeah. Hey, kids. We're Seth Green. You like, yeah, we're doing that. Yeah, we're freaking Seth Green-ass dudes. Seth Green-ass dudes.

And on Thursday, we got into more of that shit. More of the same. But we were... Who were we lampooning on Thursday? Dads? Were we fucking going in on dads? Well, you started off with Big Dog, and then you went to the trope of dads protecting their daughters, right? No, they like fetishize murdering and wanting to kill their daughter's boyfriends.

Right. It's almost a real life meme where you just say that you come after my daughter. I got a gun right here. I'll kill you. Yeah, that was our shit. We were on some shit when we were talking about that shit. We were. So here's that shit.

What the hell? My bi-monthly check of Facebook. I see a dad with his daughter's prom date with a gun in between. Yeah, Jay Feeley. It goes crazy viral. Jay Feeley did that for real. But it's still a trend in Appalachia and the Midwest. It was in Bad Boys. Yeah.

Very funny scene. And in that. I mean, dads have reason to be nervous about a guy like me. Why? Fucking their daughters. Yeah, you are you are real good remorselessly dad he can't even get a boner dad dad he doesn't even if you saw his boner you would not have your gun he doesn't even get hard yeah but does he does he come soft well yeah it's not when does that matter dad he still fucking comes i don't care if he's coming soft you're my girl and i'll murder him but dad it's like basically not even a day no man will come soft to my daughter yeah he's like, bullshit, you go hard in the paint.

He's torn because I'm fucking his daughter, but I'm also soft. Who's that, Nick? Why are you taking it easy on her? You don't think she's beautiful? We're Wilsons, goddammit. No, she is. I can't, it's me. Dad.

It's either you get hard and fuck my daughter, or you don't fuck her at all. Now get hard. Get hard right in front of me. Get off my porch. I want to see you get hard and fuck my daughter, you don't fuck her at all. Now get hard. Get hard right in front of me. Get off my porch. I want to see you get hard, son. I'm going to make you cum now. Show you how it's done. Yeah, and then he's just, he like, it's like, he's slowly,

it's American Beauty. He slowly is like, comes out as gay. Like, he's suppressed gay. Like, yeah, let me see this guy. You cum right now in my hand. I, yeah, let me see this guy. You come right now in my hand. I'll help you. I'll help you.

I want to fuck my daughter. You got to come through me first. Let me see those balls. He's attracted to his daughter and the daughter's boyfriend. The only person he's not attracted to is his really hot wife.

His smoking hot 10 out of 10 wife. It's an obese dude with like, cankles and his smoking hot wife. And 10 wife it's an obese dude with like cankles and he smoking hot wife and he just loves

his daughter he's fluffing his daughter's boyfriend he's twice in yoga pants all the time looking hot as fuck wants to murder his daughter's boyfriend

let's go have a talk you leave that door open you're up there watching movies just so he can watch why don't you come take a walk with me let's check under the hood

what kind of equipment you got there check under the hood yeah check under the hood and he says yeah like every suppressed gay feeling

comes out as like as masculine as possible let's look let's look under that hood let's check let's check that oil when was the last time you had your oil checked

yeah let me get that let me get we're gonna go wake up 4am go hunting I'm gonna bring you out get that. Let me get it. We're going to go wake up 4 a.m., go hunting. I'm going to bring you out to the woods with me and see what you're really up to. My tree house. The daughter gets super nervous that he's going hunting with the dad, but she catches a peek of him.

And really, the dad's just like, oh, no, I bet that she likes it like this. He's a pantomime and a fuck. He's dressing him up like, here, I want to dress you up nice and pretty. With my hunting gear. So help me God if I found out you were soft. Even half-masked. Fucking my daughter. No, he hates half-masked.

Yeah, there that shit was. Yeah, that was some shit. It's an amazing loophole that if you do a goofy-ass voice, people think it's funny. I know. It's like you don't have to actually be funny. You just have to have a funny ass voice. Yeah, that's kind of

weird. Is that Owen's secret too? Owen, do you have a funny voice? Anticipation. Owen, why do you keep rolling all the way back over there? I didn't want to be in the camera. That is a funny voice, honestly. Do it again.

I didn't want to be in the camera. Yeah, that's good. I've often heard that your voice isn't, you're not born with your voice, it's nurtured. Like whatever tone that your voice winds up taking is learned through your infant and toddler experiences. KB, is that true? Because I know that you have some experience. I don't. Now, how do we figure that out?

How do we as a society decide what made your voice? I don't know. I don't fucking know, dude. Yeah. Well, it's just you brought it to the fucking table. Twins. Twins are always. You brought it to the fucking table.

I did. I did. Triplets maybe. Separated at birth. Different voices. You think there's three different voices? Probably. I think they're all going to have very similar voices

you think that they would I think there's you say nurture I think it's nature voices are nature I think voices are nature I think that something happened to give

Owen this monotone voice yeah I think his parents are just boring oh shit a what Owen's dad is Microsoft text-to-speech.

He was proud of him. Yeah, yeah, proud of him. What was the Phineas Gage comment? Phineas Gage is a railroad worker who got a spike through his brain and it changed his personality when he had part of his brain tampered with. I didn't mean it as an insult. I'm sorry, dude. Yeah, I guess going on radio unexpectedly would be the railroad spike of my cadence.

So did you used to have a different cadence and then you started coming on radio and you decided this is the cool guy voice? No, this is my voice. I think it's hard to like getting, I don't know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I also am six inches from your face.

I just noticed we're really close. Now that we're saying that, I feel like Owen is actually cool guy Kyle. Yes. That's who you're trying to be, Kyle, the way you dress. Ah, fuck. Yeah. You know what?

Owen is Steezy as fuck. Whenever I do that, it's just me just copying him. Owen, how would you talk? Like say a chick walked into the room. Hot chick. Cosplay. Brandon is a super hot chick. I actually interacted with a chick in the office the other day. What? Yeah. Who? Well, same.

Hannah, the weather girl. Oh, my God. I killed it. Tell the story. We were walking down the stairs and she was like, like, like, where are you going? I said, Starbucks. Okay.

Savage. Oh, yeah. Let's go. This is a game, bro. You're like mystery. And then she was getting a smoothie. And then I asked her who she voted for. Bro, you are a pickup artist.

You truly are one of the smoothest motherfuckers I've ever been around. Casanova. Alethario. What did she say? Oh, she said she didn't vote. Damn, for real? Shit. All that posting she does, she can't get a vote out she knew

finish your thought finish the tackle nah drive through drive drive no no say like you have to like twist it to make her feel good like you have you think it's cool that she's indecisive yeah she knew what new york was on she knew what that time what New York was on. She knew what that time New York was on. Oh, goodness. And yeah, I mean, Owen, any time that you're talking to a babe is fantastic.

Any time you're talking really is fantastic. And I think that's why you earned solo airtime this week, something that's rarely been given out to anybody at Barstool. There's only like five people in the entire company that have done as much live solo radio as you have, Owen. How was it? I didn't know that that's what they're going to do. I put on a vibe song and then I noticed that they stopped talking And then I realized something was askew.

And then they got up and left and told me to take the front chair. And I didn't know what to say. So I talked about the Thursday night football game briefly and then I took a call that maybe KB can touch upon. Yeah, so one of our short-term goals i think as a collective was to cause somebody to wreck with our shenanigans online someone who was listening in the car to get in a car accident die long chaotic evil yeah and someone dm me the other day and he was like listen man um love the show i just wanted to let you know that um i helped you reach your goal.

I did get in a car accident listening to the yak. So, yeah. Because he was busting a gut? Because the guy was busting a gut? I doubt it. He was laughing so hard or was just a rainy day? He was reacting to something rear-ended somebody. But he said he was laughing, right?

None of us, only Owen was in the room. I didn't get to talk to him. So he said he was laughing and was of us only own was in the room i didn't i didn't get to talk to him so he said he was laughing and was like enamored by the show he said he was visualizing the story you guys were telling i don't know if there is an asterisk he did say the roads were slick it was pouring rain okay yeah yeah where our hope is that somebody crashes on a very like an empty highway dry beautiful conditions. There's not even any cars around, really. Like, you just drive off the road from maniacally laughing. Yeah, I don't...

For the car. And they die. I want a totaled car. I think that's the first step. I want a death. With photographic evidence and insurance proof. I do want what you described,

but I want the damaged car, death. Damaged car, death. Because that would make us, we got our job done. Well, I almost just choked laughing. I almost just choked on this prosciutto when Nick was doing his ad read. If he had killed me,

I feel like that would be you kind of doing your job. I like to go out during one of your sweet ass outreach, Nick. Thanks, Adam. That would make him feel good. Absolutely. We love doing these jokes and making people laugh.

And if just one person could die, that would just mean if we just knew there was one person who passed away. That means we're doing our job. Yeah, that would change our lives for the better. It would just be such a transcendent moment. So if you or a friend fucking dies listening to anything we do, let us know. Please let us know. That's the reason we're doing it.

We're just passionate about it. Yeah. Well, no, they can't have any preexisting conditions. No, I'll allow it. I just want to be the only show with a body count. I'm with Brandon. I want them to have a clean bill of health because I don't want this to get lumped in with something else. I want to be on the death certificate.

Because somebody could cheat that. If they're sitting with a 400-pound man who's clearly going into cardiac arrest, they just turn the yak on. The last thing I would want is an asterisk. Cause of death, clit, Steve. Steve, don't act like you wouldn't love that. Steve, let us hear it one more time. That's a resume booster. Steve! It's a resume bluster. Steve!

It's a bad day to be a clit. All I do is murder pussies. Clits hate him. They love him too. So this isn't a death car accident call but it is a car accident call and this is a relatively new baby step uh yeah it's a baby step step in the right direction uh owen do you have something for us my vibe yeah uh yeah this one's a little different um i'm also usually on a train listening to this or driving a car um but this one is i like

to like pretend i'm like a protagonist in like a early 2000s uh like 40 minute drama maybe like a one tree hill or something and like i'm like a heartthrob. Premeditated? No? Alright. I got nothing. Thursday night football tonight. That'll be good. I like the Packers.

Minus six. Might be a trap. This is incredibly uncomfortable. Kevin from Maryland's on the line. Yeah, please. Kevin. Did you tell him he's on the radio Kevin what's up Eric from Iowa now

oh this is a guy who got in a crash while listening to the act how's it going what's up you got in a car crash huh yeah so it's not too exciting. So I was driving home from work, and I can't listen live because I'm a teacher.

And so I was listening on my way home from work, and my brain was just kind of fried. And I can't remember what you guys were talking about, but I started just thinking about that. And then it was kind of raining out, too, I was, I got distracted and I looked away or something. I looked back and I was too close to this car. Tried to brake, braked really hard, but wasn't enough. And just got in a nice little fender bender.