The Yak - The Lunch of Fate Takes An Unexpected Turn | The Yak 3-27-23

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

Yak Gives BackYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. Hello. All right. No, I'm not all right. Mondays. I don't want to sound low.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone. It's the Yak. Sponsored by Roback. Use code YAK. 20% off your first purchase.

I'm wearing the joggers right now. They got everything. Performance hoodies, joggers, polos. It's all super comfortable. Look, Brandon's wearing the performance hoodie right now. He wears it all the time. So check it out. Use code YAK. 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week. Functional. Functional. Versatile. Style check it out. Use code YAK. 20% off your first purchase through the end of this

week. Functional. Functional. Versatile. Style. Comfortable. Etc. All of these things. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Go check it out. YAK. 20% off. 20% off. Looks good too. Looks good. Feels good. What's up everyone? Hey. Hello. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up everyone hey hello what's up what's up what's up what's up what's up i was i want to say i want to start the show today by saying i was pleasantly surprised by the yak fans oh for the friday's episode friday's show they liked it and i liked that they liked it because those are the shows that let us do more things and unlock more things. And also, we should have said it more during the show, but Austin Theory and Baron Corbin, they were awesome. They made that show work.

Shout out to those tough guys because they were awesome and they chilled with us afterwards. Yep, they were really fun. I like them so much that Austin Theory, it was announced today that his match against John Cena is going to start WrestleMania. And I almost quoted him and been like, well, at least you get to go home right after Austin. And I decided not to because I like him. That's your friend now. Yeah, that's my friend. That's my boy.

He's going to get his ass kicked. He's sweet. He was a sweet guy, though, in person. Yeah, he carried himself like an up and comer. Yeah. Yeah. Humble. Not an already there.comer. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Humble. Not an already there.

Mm-hmm. Also, I got some healthy-ass kids on his side. Yeah, his shirt is dope today. Yeah, it is. It's from the PGA store in Scottsdale.

Oh, shit. Remember? Remember when he came to the radio with that shirt on that he wore for the first time? Yeah. Oh, I did it already. It's a great shirt.

You have to have a rocking bod to wear, like, the dry-fit material. Oh, you gotta have the best bod. It's not, it already. It's a great shirt. You have to have a rockin' bod to wear the dry fit material. Oh, you gotta have the best bod. You can't even have a mediocre bod. You have to have the best bod. Flawless rockin' bod. It'll find you. I don't think so.

I think I love the material. It does stink. It'll find every crevice of your fat and it'll stick to it. It's fat-seeking material. It's fat-seeking, but also if you have any body hair. I'm so pissed you caught me today.

When? You didn't? What? On the train? Yeah. I didn't see you until you were going up the thing. You didn't see me filming you? No. On the bench? No. I thought you were a statue. Do you have the video? You were unmoved

down to the finger on your smartphone for 30 seconds. I'll send the video you were you were unmoved down to the finger on your smartphone for 30 seconds i'll send the video you were as stoic as a fat girl's blouse i didn't see you i didn't see you until you were walking up the stairs getting off the gate i thought you caught me no i started backing up it was a joke between us two. I never saw you. Sass, you're sneaky the weirdest dude on earth. You were really off-putting.

I've seen him doing this before just like sitting looking sad on a bench before and I've taken still photos of him. I like found an old photo of him in Minnesota just like in front of a Christmas tree looking like the saddest boy ever. It's our own little sad Keanu. Yeah, he is.

I think it has something to do with my posture. I remember when you said I ate fully in like shrimp mode. That's my favorite. Must have been. I must have been just a seed. When you're in the background

of stool scenes just like curled. Yeah. Oh, it's so bad, dude. It's impossible to not have that, though I saw a video of myself Is TJ here?

Yes Oh, yeah, I sent it I saw a video of myself And it was Oh, my posture is just insane You got bad posture You got blogger's posture I don't even know what it is

You can correct that Dave used to have a legit hunchback I have a hunchback. Yeah. You just got to... You go to a chiropractor and they take a mallet and they put it at the top of your spine and they just fucking crack that bitch.

Oh, I was going to say, you could also just make like $200 million and just move to Florida and then walk around and not be at your computer all day. Yeah. Or Roan's. No, it's either one, really. The one costs $200.

I looked to buy a posture corrector. It's like this thing you stick to your back and it like either one, really. The one costs $200. I look to buy a posture corrector. It's like this thing you stick to your back and it vibrates. And it buzzes. Yeah. But I think I'd ignore it. That's just a back massage. Go on the $200 million route. I'm going to have to go the $200 million route.

Yeah. It's impossible, though. What do you need? Core strength to have good posture? I think when you have bad posture, you have to be cognizant about it. You have to have a nun follow you around at all times with a ruler smacking you. You have to have a shred of confidence. Yeah.

Yeah. Me too. Not doing that. Feidelberg and I actually got those. They're basically like bras. Oh, yeah? Yeah. We realized we were just wearing bras.

This is surely a photograph. It's a photo. I even moved the camera like that to make sure. To prove. No, I don't like this at all. This would freak me out on the subway. This is liminal as hell. It is mad liminal.

Centimeter yet. Wait, Sass, you didn't notice him? No, never saw him. What were you doing watching the video? I don't know. I probably was just on my phone just looking at Twitter. You weren't scrolling because your finger wasn't moving. So you're probably watching a video. I don't know. I probably was just on my phone just looking at Twitter. Scrolling because your finger wasn't moving. So you're probably watching a video.

I don't know. I literally have no idea. Oh, yeah. Maybe a little finger. You look like Woody trying to pretend he's not a real toy. Are you sleeping? This is horrifying.

Yeah. I expected there to be a lot of people on the platform. I was like, we got there right when everyone left. What the hell? It was horrifying. Yeah, nobody else. I expected there to be a lot of people on the platform. Yeah, no. We got there right when everyone left. What the hell? It's right before the zombie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Signs of life. And you had no idea that KB was filming you. No, I mean. You got to have better peripheral vision, port vision. I mean, he was like, you're not just looking at everyone on the subway platform. Oh, yeah. But I honestly thought you caught me. Oh, I he was like, you're not just looking at everyone on the subway platform. Oh, yeah. But I honestly thought you caught me. No, I genuinely didn't see you.

Was there other people, like, behind you on the platform? Yeah, they were watching me film him. Sass. Hell for the kids. Sass, someone's going to kill you someday because you don't have, you have blinders on like a horse. Situational awareness. I sit there because I don't want to get pushed into the tracks.

I lean on a pillar. Yeah. Have you ever seen the ads for like the rope that you can tie to a pillar when you're at a subway station so no one can toss you onto the tracks? Oh, God. You like basically seatbelt yourself to a pillar in the middle of the subway station. Really? Everybody's scared of that happening.

How often does that happen? A lot. There was like a spree a little bit ago. There was one guy who did it like 29 times. He's like the $60 fine. He keeps doing it. He can't arrest you. I'm going to start pushing people who lean on the pillars. That's not that much harder.

I'm leaning like facing away from the table. Yeah, I'm going to fucking bull rush everyone who does that. I'm not going to be able to do that. No, I'm sturdy when I'm doing that. Oh, you got yeah I'm gonna fucking bull rush everyone who does that I'm not gonna be able to do that no I'm sturdy when I'm doing that oh you gotta have a little knee bent

yeah stick your legs uneven never lock the knees never if you lock your knees it's dog parks and standing at the subway you gotta have those

knees bent dude I think if I got pushed in I would just stay in cause like what are you gonna do crawl out and then

yeah hop out so embarrassing it would be embarrassing then you just stand there and just wait for the someone pushed you though like so it's not like embarrassing if you it would also hurt so bad there's no cool way to crawl out of the train tracks after being pushed in and if you hit the wet part like some of them are like rivers of whatever oh yeah you just have to hope you die there's rats and since today's the end of seasonal depression it's like first day nice out.

That's like the rats also. That's their groundhog day. They'll come out of hibernation today. Yesterday, Jake Marsh said, which I've never heard anyone say it this way, but it made sense. He said that yesterday was best day of the year. It was. It was super nice out. Best day of the year.

Yeah. It can't be on a Sunday. It was the best day of the year. That was a Saturday. Best day of the year. Yeah. It can't be on a Sunday. It was the best day of the year. That was a Saturday. Best day of the year. So far. That was the best day of 2023. Kind of sad to know that it's over.

There was a good day a couple weeks ago. Best day to this point. That was the best day of the year. He dubbed it. You can't declare it the best day of the year for the whole year. I think he's just saying the best day of the year so far. It's the best day of the year. When someone says it, it's over. I told my kids.

I said, get off the computer today. It's the best day of the year. They said, shut the fuck up, Dad. Tommy did not get off that computer. The other ones did. But coming into work was nice. On the computer? Well, there's a computer, there's a PlayStation, and there's iPads. And they rotate through the three. Damn. A little circuit.

You don't have to parent at all. The 10 and the 7-year-old got out and grilled with me yesterday and played ball and everything. Tommy just doesn't give a fuck. You've been pellet grilling, too. Yeah, I got a good grill. What are you grilling? I grilled a pork loin.

I grilled some smoked chicken wings, ribeyes, and ribs. What were the pellets? I grilled all weekend. Hickory? No, they were apple. Apple, yeah. When you do the pork loin, are you chopping it up and doing each part, or is it like the full loin grilled over how long?

Four hours at 240. Keep the spline wrapped around it. Pineapples on top. You like pork loin? You like pork loin? I like it for lunch portions during the rest of the week. Wow, I can see that. Speaking of which, lunch of fate.

Lunch of fate today. We have to do it. Let's do it now. If you guys are expecting a twist, there's none. There's no twist. Regular. It's the same lunch of fate that the Iroquois were playing when they first came to this place. Oh, Gonquins played this.

Everybody remembers playing with their grandfather. Same exact way. Yeah, no frills. Did it on Pappy's lap. He got my phone. No rule changes. Got your meal. Wait, so where did it come from?

Was that my grandfather or not? It might have been mine. Oh, okay. He was right on the edge. Yeah. But where did it come from? Can I hear a little bit about the genesis and the rules of this? He's trying to...

I know exactly what he's trying to do. You're being a smartass, first of all. It's a regular fucking lunch of fate. There's no twist. People are always like, oh, we don't like the twist. I just wanted to know what kind of shamalanian shit you guys are getting into for the twist at the end of this. We gotta just order.

Well, we need a wheel that's number 2 to 10 because that determines How many clicks You have to make on your phone Oh Okay That's a surprise goofball Everybody It's a standard

And are we doing the rule That we said that We're just gonna have a wheel 1 to 10 That's The first person First lunch You get it

Right So you could pay a fuck ton And get nothing Right Yes Right Okay So let's play Lunch of Fate.

Classic Lunch of Fate. Everybody has their preferred apps. I'm a Grubhub premium man myself. All right. So we go on seamless and you just click. Well, we have to figure out how many clicks you're going to make. So let's say you spin the wheel and it gets three. One, two.

Where are you clicking from? So you have to click to get your restaurant and then you're swiping up and down on the menu. Again, the questions are funny. It's for the listener. For the casual listener. I know you have to assume the listener's dumb, but they're not this dumb. So who do we start with for the listener? Who gets to spin the wheel first?

Sass? Sass does, as tradition. Obviously, Sass, closest to the wheel. You don't say what you're ordering. You just order it. I don't even know if I know what I'm ordering, right? You just find out how many clicks first. You say what you're ordering.

You say what you're ordering, but then at the end we'll spin. So let's say Big Cat gets one. That means he gets the first meal that arrives. To arrive. Oh. Yeah. You have to order all the same. That's not a twist.

That's not a twist. Sass will make his cart but not order. Then we'll all order at the same time. I don't know. What are we doing here? That's not a twist. That's not a twist. Sass will make his cart but not order. Then we'll all order at the same time. I don't know. What are we doing here? That's not a twist. That's not a twist. Okay, let's just do it.

Let's order it because then we can just forget it and then when the food gets here. Sass is finding out how many clicks. Sass is finding out how many clicks right now. Can I make a confession, Nick? Yeah. This is my first time playing Lunch of Fate. You said two through ten on the wheel? Anything for attention.

Yeah, we've had people play dumb before here. It's a character. 2 through 10? Yeah, 2 through 10. And then 1 through 6. How many people are on the show? 7. Too many numbers right now.

Okay, Sass. Sass, you have to make... What the fuck is happening? That's easy. Let's make happening? Oh, that's easy. Let's make three clicks once his restaurant's decided. Oh, he decides a restaurant first? No, no, no. That's one of the clicks is a restaurant.

I was testing you. So open up your app. Yeah. Swipe up and down, and then we'll say stop. That's your first click. That's the fate portion. Rowan, tell them when to stop. Stop.

All right, where are you ordering from? What is it? Bluestone Lane. Oh, okay. Australian coffee. It's not really lunch, though. That doesn't matter. Okay, you're stuck on the lunch.

Forgetting of fate. Fate. Fate. All right. I'm going to be so upset if I get stuck with... Australian? A coffee. I'm going to get Vegemite and a coffee.

They have good food, but the thing is, most of their menu is not food. That's not what he's getting. All right, start scrolling anyway. You don't know if that's what you're getting. Yeah. Then you have to spin the wheel if it's very low cheese. Okay, so now what? Up and down, up and down.

Kyle, tell him when to stop. Stop. That's your first down. Kyle, tell him when to stop. Stop. That's your first order. Oh, hell yes. What is it? You're not getting it. Cheese. What?

Chicken and cheese. Oh, hell yeah. Croissant. Ooh. Whoa. You have one more click. Wait, so is that a different item or within the- Oh, no, no, no.

A different item, a different item. Okay, so add that to your order. Somebody's going to be ordering nine things. Oh, my God. All right, ready? Yeah. Big Cat, tell him no, no. A different item. A different item. Okay, so add that to your order. Somebody's going to be ordering nine things. Oh, my God. All right, ready? Yeah. Big Cat Tom, want to stop? Stop.

Iced Lomback. Oh, the Lomback's there. Oh, shit. That's a full meal. What the fuck is an Iced Lomback? I don't know. Is that a drink or a food? I remember Iced Lomback.

Don't order yet. We're all going to order at the same time. Have it ready. And take three off the wheel. We're not three-clicking anymore. Okay. The third or fourth time I played, I had to get two ice Lombax. But luckily, it went to my Nan.

Oh, wait. Hold on. So your Nan was drinking too long. She must have been wired. He was bouncing off the walls. Don't say that. Wait, let me just see. Okay, never mind.

Yeah, I got to change the. Okay. It's all good, though. The Addy. Oh, yeah, you got to make sure it's. All right. Rones up. Rones up.

We'll see how many clicks. Ben for me, TJ. Oh, what you looking at? Show me 10. Oh, eight items. It's going to be like seven items. I mean, this is going to suck for like five of us. Seven items, yeah.

Stop. Oh, I'm in the wrong borough. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Current location. Everyone, please, going forward, make sure your address is correct. Listeners, play at home. Yeah. Yeah. Show us, play at home. Yeah. Show us what your meal was.

And tag Trent. Liberty Bagels. Liberty Bagels? Okay, we're going breakfast. Kyle, did you see the Shoshone Arrowhead thing? Stop. Yeah, that was the biggest takeaway of the morning. Everything bagel? It was insane. How many does he have to click?

And so I just- Seven times. Any permutation of it or just as is or- As is. Okay, that one. Oh, I need to go- You need to add something. What are you doing, Ron?

It said I need to- You need a lot more than- Toasted or not toasted. That counts as a click? No, it doesn't. It doesn't count as a click. Because I had to do as a click. Okay. Because I had to do the same thing.

Stop. Large chocolate chip cookie. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Stop. Dozen bagel special. Oh, no. No.

Lunch of fate's crazy. Liberty has, like, the multicolored bagels. They're literally forcing their agenda down my throat. I just picked the first 12. Okay. That was what, three? Three. Stop.

Or you were on four because you picked Liberty Bagel to start. Yogurt parfait. That's a lot. All right. That's a lot of food. Ready? Stop. Wrap. That's six. 160.

It just says wrap? Which is, I think, just like a tortilla. Yeah. Okay. It was $1.60. And you have to eat all of the food. You have to at least take a bite. Stop.

One bite out of every bagel. Deep River chips. Okay. Those are good. Good brand. One more? I guess one more. One more.

Stop. A naked juice. Oh. Oh, very nice. A sneaky amount of sugar. A lot of sugar. 60 grams of sugar. You have to have a bite of every item.

Yeah. But then, Roan, you can put the 12 bagels out in the kitchen, but there has to be one bite out of every bagel. Well, I'm probably not going to have this. Yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll, yeah, let me know when to order because it's here for me to bang. I'm doing priority, too.

Golly. Can I or? Yeah, you can do whatever you want. Of course, of course. Priority doesn't really do anything. Kyle, let's see how many clicks you're going with. You get to pay more. Yeah.

You get the privilege of paying more money. Rowan, how much money are you looking at there? $58 of bagels. Not crazy. Just don't tip. Yeah. Never do. Just did the math on this.

We'll be ordering 54 items to this room. Very nice. That's fair. That sounds about right. Good spread. That's a good spread. All right, go ahead. Spin for Kyle.

Six. That's an honest man's order. Six, that's fair. Got this, Kyle. Five items. Do I do? Your first click is the restaurant, and then you're adding five items. I feel like something's going on with Rhea and Marty Mush.

Stop. Keep an eye on it. Am I Pete? No, they're not dating. Stop. What? They're friends. Fucking Dwayne Reed.

No. What? What app is that? Uber Eats. Uber Eats. I order a little bit of E-Lite. Okay, here we go. I'm just going to be having Band-Aids.

$50 tool softener. You need a bite out of everything. There's like different sections. I'll look. Stop for one. Now. Okay. What is it?

Singer assorted safety pins. I mean, can I do food? No, that's one. I feel bad for the person that has to go find all this stuff. I ain't getting safety pins. You are. It's the fate. All right. Am I going to have to eat a safety pin?

Just taste. Oh. Stop. Preservision, Air Reds, Two Multivitamins Yeah Alright That's a good one That's far so good

Brandon I hope you get that Festive Voice Confetti Lunch Plates Oh Fucking plates Do we need plates Do we need plates We got two more

Never have too many plates We'll just scroll more Scroll heavy. It's all categorized. Okay, you ready? Okay. Stop. Kiss, impress, one step,

press on, falsies, no glue, need it, false eyelash, cluster. I thought you were going to the food section. You got one last one. Whoever gets it has to put the lashes on. Hell yeah. I was under the foods. Easter.

All right. This is the last one. Oh, grocery. Okay, here we go. Ready? Stop. Pineapple juice. Okay.

All right. All right. It's not going to bring anything to that. None of that is going to come. No. Hopefully they bring food instead. I don't know, dude. Somebody with long lashes filled with pineapple juice,

they're begging to get sucked. That's true. All right, TJ, give me a spin. Show me 10 for rich man. I'll do 10. Want me to just take 10? Adam rich man. Taking the fate out of it.

I want to be wheel of fate. Oh, you piece of shit. I want to do 10. Brandon, you do too. No, no, no, no. I agree with Big it. That wouldn't be Wheel of Fate. Oh, you piece of shit. I want to do two. Brandon, you do two. No, no, no, no. I agree with Big Cat. No, no, no. No way.

You do two. Hell no. You want me to do two? You can't change the Wheel of Fate. All right, I was trying to take it off of him so he doesn't have to order ten items. I had to spend $500 on a speaker. I love it. That no one ever wanted.

We're on the same wavelength, though. Like, if I stood up for you, you wouldn't have had to spend $500. But no one stood up for me. All right, okay. So I've used it more as an ottoman than a speaker. Yeah, I'm sure. Someone tell me when to stop. It's fucking huge.

Someone tell me when to stop. Stop. The Rolex store. Del Frisco's Grill. Oh. Del Frisco. Really? Oh, yes.

We only get one item from the actual restaurant. Yep. This would have been a banger for 10. Yep. Wait, hold on. Let me make sure I can scroll. Okay, alright. I got the scroll. Scroll. Stop. Fountain style Coca-Cola.

Alright. That's not bad. That's not bad. Alright. That's a good one. But in the instructions, you want it in a glass. I think I need to do one other just because I don't know. What's the order minimum? Yeah, what's the order minimum? I don't think.

Just get enough that it satisfies the minimum. Just get a bunch of sodas. Five Cokes. Are you? Okay. Del Frisco's has the best. All right, I'll get a bunch of Cokes. All right, cool.

We're going to be like, what the fuck? Got a mic. They're going to be 10. A glass of Coke. I want to see like the Del Frisco's when they're like, this guy just went to us to order 10 Cokes. It's $5.90 for a Coke. Are you serious?

Jesus. Oh my God. Are they huge? No. There's no way they're huge. All right. I'm locked in whenever we're ready to order. Can I do a different?

I don't want to make some guy pick out items. I haven't even gotten a lunch yet. Yeah, there's a whole bunch. Oh, zero lunches. I got bagels. I got a bacon, egg don't want to make some guy pick out items. I haven't even gotten a lunch yet. Yeah, there's a whole bunch. Oh, zero lunches. I got bagels. I got a bacon, egg, and cheese and a coffee. Except I figured out it's literally- You guys are so hung up on lunch.

That's 33% of lunch of fate. Oh, man. I just did a rogue spin to see it and it went on filet burger. All right. Give me my spin. Damn it. Oh, God. A burger would be great.

Show me 10. Whoever gets 10 is going to need to save the day. I know. Somebody texted before this, like, remember, don't eat today. It's a bunch of fate. All right, Brandon, let's go, Brandon. All right, Brandon, step up for the boys. Step up for the boys.

We need some good, some hearty food. So far, we got some protein, ashes, a bunch of bagels, and Coke. Who's my stop guy? Yeah, at least we do have the bagels. I'll stop you. All right, here I go. How many does he have? Seven. So I have six I'll stop you. All right, here I go. How many does he have? Seven.

So I have six food items. Yep. All right. I'm scrolling. Stop. It's going to be Chick-fil-A. Brandon, you didn't stop. You have to put your finger on it.

Oh my God, this guy doesn't know how to play. You put your finger down. Well, how do you stop? You did the opposite. You scroll and when he says stop, you put your finger down.

Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. It would be funny if it was just all Chick-fil-A. All right, ready? Yeah. Stop. Crisp, okay. It would be funny if it was just all Chick-fil-A. All right, ready? Yeah. Stop. Krispy Kreme.

Oh! Jesus. Donuts and bagels? Yes. Yep, go ahead. All right, here we go. Six items. Six donuts.

Or what if it's a dozen? Ready? Six dozen. Oh, look. A baker's dozen dozen. Or no, a half dozen. Bottled whole milk. Okay.

All right. Okay. Strong. Strong. That's recently ordered for you. Stop. Get your delivery ASAP. Hold on.

I was at the top. Oh, that counts. Yeah, that's a second. Stop. Is it milk again? Look. Look how many items I have. Yeah.

So scroll up and down. Go back and forth. I landed on a bottle of whole milk. Switch back and forth. Then get another one. Then you got to get another one. All right. So another bottle of whole milk?

Yes. Yep. All right. Okay. Stop. 16 original glazed minis. Nice. Hell yeah.

All right. Eat some protein. Things are looking up minis. Nice. Hell yeah. All right. Eat some protein. Things are looking up. Okay. Stop. 16 original glazed minis. Okay. Doubling it up.

We have two more. I feel like you're struggling with the scrolling. Can't do it. It's only six items. He's going. Ready? Oh, really? Look at it.

Oh, there's like a lot. Okay. Ready? Stop. Three count original glazed donuts. Really want another bottle of whole milk. I know. There's one more.

Yeah. One more. Yeah. Stop. Three count assorted donuts. Oh, hey. Get a little chocolate. All right.

We want glazed chocolate, ice glazed, chocolate ice glazed raspberry filled. You go. Blueberry cake. It's a launch of fate. Okay. All right. TJ, spin for me. Let's go, Nick.

Grab a 10 spot, Nick. Oh, God. Bring us 10 home. Or nine. Or nine. All right. Oh, Nicky. Oh, I know. It could be worse. Woo! All right. Oh, Nicky. Oh, I know.

It could be worse. Come on, Nick. Help us out. I was just singing Grubhubs. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Let me change the address here.

I'm ready. All right. Start scrolling. Stop. 84. Froze. Okay. Okay.

Stop. 84 hours. Okay. Stop. Liberty Bagels. Oh, no. Oh, no. What are we doing that? You're the Lunch of Fate guy. You can't do a double? We're all the Lunch of Fate people.

You can't do a double. You can't do a double. You can't do a double. That defeats the purpose. Stop. Pret. Stop. Pret. Oh. That sucks.

That sucks too. Worse than Liberty Bagels. Wait. I'm too far away for delivery. Oh, okay. All right. Run it back. There's a Pret across the street.

Yep. All right. Stop. Naya. All right. Stop. Naya. All right. Okay. Food. Mediterranean.

Eight clicks. Or seven. Eight clicks. Stop. Reca Cat. I love a good Reca Cat. What is Reca Cat? It's a blend of three Mediterranean cheeses wrapped in phyllo dough.

Oh, okay. A mozzarella stick of sorts. Okay. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Green and red cabbage salad. Nice.

Hey, that's long. Yeah. Fiber. Five more? Four more? Stop. Six more. Six more.

A 92-cent pita. Okay. All right. So far, so good. Just good. Stop. Side of rice with vermicelli. Okay. Okay. All right. This is good. Stop. Side of rice with vermicelli. Okay.

Okay. I'd love me some vermicelli. A freeze, lemon and ginger. Okay. This is actively pissing me off. You haven't gotten a bit of food yet. You haven't gotten a piece of meat. No.

Stop. Stop. Cucumber yogurt dip. Ah, damn. This is our last one? Lay burger, Brandon. Two more.ucumber yogurt dip. Ah, damn. This is our last one? Lay Burger, Brandon. Would have been great. Stop.

Another 92-cent pita. Okay, nice. Where's the fucking food? Yeah, where's the food? They have actual... Where? Okay, okay. Stop.

Freeze pomegranate drink. Okay, nice, nice. Is that it? Yeah. No, nice, nice. Is that it? Yeah. No, no, I have one more. We have one more. Stop. We have

a Naya salad, so a falafel salad. Okay, that's good. We can all split that. Falafel is, there's protein in the... Yeah, chickpeas. Actually,

there's a lot of options, so just let me go fade here. All right, stop. It has, comes with pita. Go again. Stop. Fresh cucumbers. All right, stop. It comes with pita. Go again. Stop.

Fresh cucumbers. Let's go again. Stop. We'll do the spicy green sauce jalapeno base. Let's go again. His face is turning. Stop. Romaine lettuce.

One more for me, Brandon. And stop. It will have lemon tahini. Actually, we need a protein. We have to choose protein. Stop. Chicken shish talc. Oh, talc.

Good, good, good. It's not a bad one. All right, Kate. I don't even care how much this costs. I just want food. So my eight items came out to $20. All right. Oh, we got to add another number, right?

Because we need Stephen and Zah. Oh, Stephen and Zah. God damn it. Mystery number. Yeah, mystery number. All right. Money bags. Okay.

I'm ready. I have it up. Here we go. Tell her when, Nick. Now. Joe and the juice. Oh, my God. This is terrible.

It's awful. Ten juices? I cannot. Or nine juices? Did you do the wrong settings or something? His juice is brutal. His juices are like $15 each. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God. Okay. Somebody tell me when. Yeah, you're spending a lot of money, Kate. Tell me when. Stop. Oh, the avocado sandwich. Okay. money, Kate. Tell me when. Stop. Oh, the avocado sandwich. Okay. Oh, gross.

Just straight off a gong. Add to cart. Sucks so bad. Okay. Tell me when. Stop. Matcha latte. Okay. 16 out. So many drinks. Donuts. Carbohydrates. How did that happen?

Stop. A turkey sandwich. Okay. Heybohydrates. Stop. A turkey sandwich. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's, well, no, just adding it as is. Not fucking around. Okay. Stop. Iced Americano.

All right. Okay. Okay. Adding it just plain. Stop. I went too far. I'm sorry. Okay. Stop. I went too far. I'm sorry. Okay.

Stop. Iron Man. Apple, strawberries, kiwi ice. Okay. That sounds good. Yeah, it's good. How many more you got? I'm not counting. Oh, no.

Five, I think. Five more? All right. Oh, yeah, five. It's right here. I'm an idiot. Okay. Stop.

You should end up with nine items. Hour shake. Nice. Fuck yes. Nine items, Kate, is what I want. Okay, six. Okay,. Hour shake. Nice. Fuck yes. Nine items, Kate, is what I'm going with. Okay, six. Okay, I'm going. Stop.

I went, sorry, I went too far again. Stop. A toncando sandwich. Yes, yes. Whatever that means. Toncando. Okay. Stop.

A raw hazelnut square cooled. Why are you so surprised at all of them? Yeah. I've never shopped here before. Okay. Stop. Yeah, stop. Banana bread.

Oh, right. That's the one. This is the best order so far. That's the best order by far. Okay, one more. Sucking on safety pins. Stop. A Joe's Club sandwich.

All right. All right. Good order, Kate. Yeah, it's a good order. $2,000. $90.20. club sandwich all right all right good order kate yeah it's a good order two thousand dollars uh ninety dollars and twenty cents it's okay it's okay all right steven right za tj did you guys see the shoshone Arrowhead thing? What was it? Napoleon Dynamite, how Kyle talked about the Shoshone Arrowheads. Yeah.

The writer of the movie was interviewed. Went on to some late show, which is maybe fake, with a fake studio audience. And the hosts exclaimed that their favorite scene was the Shoshone Arrowhead scene, which is my favorite scene, and I thought that was unique for me, but the director went on to say, like, yeah, that was the guy. He wasn't even acting when he said that.

Damn. Huh. So it's... They had the cameras rolling, and he said that. I'm not buying it. Hmm. I don't remember the scene.

Yeah, there's a deeper significance that I know about. What? To this event, it's deeper to me than you guys. It's been my favorite scene for like 20 years. Whoa. Favorite scene in any movie? No, of the show, but it was such like a, compared to the other memorable scenes and quotes,

that was so down the list for most people. Right. I can't believe somebody else thought that was their favorite. It was a part of your personality. Yeah, I guess. It just got stolen. Yeah. Damn.

Damn. That's a bummer, dude. Sorry that happened to you. Yeah, that wasn't, yeah. Okay, Steven. That's cryptic as hell. I like it. Let's just never even.

It wasn't cryptic. It was just like we both shared the same scene, and that happened. The guy explained it. It was crazy. Someone else liked something very niche that you liked. Sounds like he's your soulmate. Maybe hand partners. I got to watch the movie again, the scene,

because maybe I liked it a lot too. Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to say I did now. No one even remembers that scene. I don't remember it at all. I only saw it once. I'm going to say I liked it just to try and steal the thing you like and turn it into something that I like.

But if you start saying it to everyone and everything in your life goes great based off that. Probably, and Kyle's life goes to shit. Yeah. Someone's like, oh my God, I've got to give you a TV show. You like that? All right, four, Steven. Get us something real.

I'm a company man, so I'm an Uber Eats guy. Who's going to be a big guy?, so I'm an Uber Eats guy. Who's going to be big how you're selling stuff? We don't work for Uber Eats. You're an Uber Eats driver? I'm going. I don't really have a favorite movie scene. I went to the Met yesterday. I teared up at a Rembrandt.

I'm sure that's like having a... That was cool of you. Yeah. I got CVS. What is this? We got fucked. I hate lots of things. Our fates suck.

Our fates suck. All right, go to CVS. Sick with the food items. Nobody paints a portrait like the Dutch. Rembrandt was Dutch, huh? Okay. Okay. Is he an impressionist?

Stop. No, that's molinaro gillette venus smooth it's a women's razor okay all right what are the food items uh you really liked that one oh no hold on i'm looking i'm trying to get to the food items there's not i did like that one. Hold on, I'm looking. I'm trying to get to the food items. I did like that one, Sass. Jesus.

I don't think there's a category. There's not a category. Consumables, okay. I accidentally ordered. That's a penalty. You get the last thing that gets here. Yoohoo. Oh, okay.

That is fake. Very relevant. I went to a hot dog place that had Yoohoo. Oh, okay. That is fake. Very relevant. Alright. I went to a hot dog place that had Yoohoo on tap this weekend. In Central, where is it? Rutz Hut. Polar Seltzer Lime. Okay. It was so good. Stop. Tank's favorite? Yep.

Smart Water. Okay, so you got Water Seltzer, Yoohoo, and Shaving Cream. A razor. A razor, yeah. Which is the best razor because it has like the Smart water. Okay, so you got water, seltzer, yoo-hoo, and shaving cream. A razor. A razor, yeah. Okay, great. A penis razor, which is the best razor because it has the soap on it, so it's smooth. All right, Zal, you're up. No nicks.

Uh-uh. Hell no. Five. What's the question mark? It's a mystery number. We've got to spin again. I love mystery numbers. We can order now?

No, we're not ordering yet. Brandon fucked everyone. I'm swiping. Stop. Black sea bagels. Bagels? Black sea bagels. That's where I get my hot honey bagels.

Those are good. Stop. Bacon, egg, and cheese. Okay. Very good. Plain. You can pick. Toasted and untoasted. I was just picking the top thing for everything.

Yeah. Are you ready to score again? Yep. Stop. Potato chips. Okay. Sweet potato. And one more. Stop. It was an ad.

Sorry. It's an ad. Oh, you got to buy that. Stop. You got to buy the thing. Natalie's orange juice. Okay. That's actually a good meal right there.

I have a lot of juice. Natalie's is pretty good. All right, TJ, you're up. And then we're going to all hit order, and then we just sit and wait for them to come. I'm excited to cheer at these men when they come in. All right, TJ. TJ could save the whole yak.

Oh. Ew. Ew. You're going to have three items. Keep skate. Four Lomo Sotatas could feed a room. Yeah. That is true.

Remember that place that we got chicken from that one time? Oh, yeah. What was that place called? I've been trying to find that forever. Fuck. It was on caviar. We had buffalo. It was on caviar, yeah.

Stop. We were just all gathered around just ripping it down. Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Oh, you need to get a party pack. You need a party pack. Please get a party pack. Please get a party pack.

Stop. Soft Taco Party Pack. Hey! All right. Two more. Two more. I have to click add each of the tacos. Give me a sec.

Oh, yeah. this takes forever. Taco Bell orders are real pain in the butt. That I could do. I want that. Yeah. And so, of course, after we order everything, we're spinning a different wheel to see who gets the first thing. Brandon is last?

Yeah, Brandon's last. And is not on that wheel. He just gets the last thing that comes. He's last for the penalty, yes. I'll say this. I know for a fact Taco Bell's real quick. No, Brandon's last. And is not on that wheel. He just gets the last thing that comes. He's last for the penalty, yes. I'll say this. I know for a fact Taco Bell's real quick. No, no, no. Should Brandon be last or should he be first but have to wait?

What does that mean? You get the food, but you can't eat it until it's on his meal. He can't get his donuts. Yeah, so you'll be last. All right, stop. Power menu bowl. It could be good, though. We need to feed everyone, though.

We need another party pack so bad. Now, are we going to lay this all out? Oh, no, no, it's not buffet stuff. Yeah, yeah. No, no, you eat what you get. I'm thirsty for some. Are you ready? Stop.

Five colas. Reduce fat sour cream. Oh, okay. Well, we got the party pack. Right. All right, so TJ, oh, yeah, you got one more? Stop. No, I got four.

Oh, yeah, you got four, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right, so tell us when everyone's ready to go. Do a countdown for when to smash the order. Are we doing priority? Oh, yeah. I didn't. Oh, shit. Doesn't have the $2 doing priority? Oh, yeah. I didn't.

Oh, shit. Doesn't have the $2.99? Broke it. All right. Three, two, one, order.

Okay. My bitch ass gave a fucking $9 tip bro That's too much dollars I tipped more than my meal Yeah For the sodas? Yeah well I just

I guess that's It's like a Oh I guess it wasn't more It's a $5 tip on a $5.90 soda I have a prediction I think we'll have two Two orders will be cancelled Oh

What happened to Saying a slur. Oh. Bunch of fate. All right, we'll wait for our orders now. Maybe here in like 10 minutes. Speaking of which, got to do a quick ad, TJ. High Noon, the most delicious drink in the world.

Real vodka, real juice, sparkling water. It's actually made with vodka and not with malt like other hard seltzers. High Noon is the perfect refreshing drink for a hot day. They now have big cans, 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple available. My favorite flavor is peach. Always has been. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. High Noon full-time flavors of pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit,

lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, and lemon. And they have the limited edition flavors pear and cranberry in the tailgate pack and kiwi and guava in the pool pack. Check it out now. Look for them on Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. They're everywhere. High noon, it's starting to get nice.

We had the day of the year yesterday. High noon is the best. Go get it right now at your local liquor store and have a great summer, spring. It's high noon season, baby. It's ready to go. I got to get some of this high noon. High noon. Luckily you can.

Look at that. Nikki had a high noon on Thursday. We did. It was damn good. Damn good. One of those fridges in my house. Can I do some self-promo really quick? Yeah.

You guys know I'm the face of the NL Central. That I do some self-promo really quick? Yeah. You guys know I'm the face of the NL Central at Barstool. That's true. Probably beyond. But my NL Central preview is out on Barstool Baseball. Oh, okay. And who do you have winning it all? The Cardinals.

Okay. Maybe the Pirates? No, no, no, no. Neil Cruz. Pirates are going to lose. He batted.233. Oh, you're an O'Neal Cruz hater? I'll remember that. He's big, but he needs to bat a little bit better than.233.

I'll remember that. Who's the guy, the prospect, who wouldn't sign the kid's ball? Darren Ravelle? Russell Westbrook? Adley Rushman? That he used for the Pirates. Rhea Ripley? Poggey Reese? No, he would. New. New top prospect. Bradley Rushman? That he used for the Pirates. Rhea Ripley?

Poggey Reese? No, he would. New. New top prospect. O'Neal Cruz? You guys don't know? Oh, you'll have to read my breakdown. Oh, yeah.

It was all verbal. You'll have to listen to my breakdown. How are you that... But what about Carl, though? I was with Carl. Carl asked me, you know, I'm the NL Central guy. He's a bit more the NL Central, or he's just kind of head honcho. Yeah, he's overseeing. I understand.

Of the Chicago guys, what's their breakdown of who's White Sox and who's Cubs? Everyone's Cubs except White Sox. What's also Cubs? What is he? He's Cubs. Interesting. We all have to pick. White Sox is Cubs.

I always forget. You guys have to pick. You have to pick this cubs i always forget you guys have to pick you have to pick when we go out there i think the cubs might be sneaky not terrible they got dansby right yeah they got the sneak notice what i said though it'll still be bad sneaky not terrible sneaky not terrible that's kind of like chicago sports right now oh yeah it's over for the bears you're you're a white socks guy no i don't like white socks dave so For the Bears to be sneaky not terrible. You're a White Sox guy. I don't like White Sox, Dave. You're a south side type of dude. You should be a Brewers

guy because you're going to live 90 minutes from the office anyway. Well, Gary's on the south side. I just figured you'd be in Indiana or something. I could be. Brewers Brandon. Awesome. Nobody else has Brewers either. Go down the slide, get really injured.

That'd be a great video. Well, you'd have to come to me. I'd probably be your boss as the NL Central guy. That's true. You report directly to me. You could do an AL Central team. When we leave, do I get to be a Dolphins guy again? Because I couldn't with Frank.

No, you don't. You can. I can be a Dolphins guy? Yeah. And you could have. I couldn't. I can't outshine that. Yeah.

Frank is in the office today. Maybe the craziest travel schedule a person's ever had. He was in Tampa all weekend, gallivanting around. He flew back to New York yesterday, and then tonight or tomorrow, he's getting in a car with Chris Clemmer, and they're driving to Tampa. What? No, to Miami. Miami.

Ron, you asked what he was doing in Tampa, and what did he say? He wouldn't tell me. I was like, is it business or pleasure? He said, little bit of both. It's the boat picture. Little bit of boat. But he's driving down to Florida where he just was. And he had to get back because we had a soda review today.

Oh, okay. There's a new Dr. Pepper berries and cream flavor that we had to bang out. That makes perfect sense then. That was stupid of me to assume. It was.7 points higher than his regular Dr. Pepper score. I'm not going to give it away, but if you're a soda fan, you'll know exactly what his original Dr. Pepper score was. Lemur and Frank on the road to opening day.

There it is. There's the picture. Look at him. The king. Even just like the kind of frown that he does. Just like... You've seen Better Pussy? Yeah. These asses. Maybe some squats, ladies.

Is pussy substandard? Yeah, he does have that face on. He's like, eh. That's the face when you see decent pussy. Can somebody meme that? Impact font. Frowning is hilarious. Can you guys frown?

I don't think I can. I can. Nick's is hilarious. Can you guys frown? I don't think I can. I can. Nick's is good. Nate's is good. Brandon, not great. You're more of a furrowed brow. I think you should try a little bit more mouthwork. Big Cat's kind of a pout deal.

You're different than a frown. You be. Is pouting different? I thought frown was more eyebrows than mouth. No, I think frown's purely mouth. No, frown's eyebrows. It's a frown. It'd be. Is pouting different? I thought frown was more eyebrows than mouth. No, I think frown's purely mouth. No, frown's eyebrows. It's a furrow. Sass, you look...

Oh, Sass! He looks like the aristocracy a little bit, though. Sad clown. He's trembling. That's good. Thank you. Where have you been, Sass? New York.

You weren't traveling? No. Oh. New York all weekend. I was in New York. Thank you. Where have you been, Sass? New York. You weren't traveling? No. Oh. New York all weekend. I was in New York. Solid weekend. Shoes are starting to get beat up a little. Like it?

Oh, are they? A little bit. I didn't even notice. A couple scuffs. Yeah, you need it. Yeah, I had a solid weekend. Yeah? A lot of good sets.

Hell of a weekend. I mean. Some sets? I had ten shows. The man at the stand. And I played video games for ten hours yesterday. Wow, what a day. I mean. Some sets? I had 10 shows. The man at the stand. And I played video games for 10 hours yesterday. Wow, what a day. Super good day.

What video games? I also got a new apartment. Oh. Yay. I'm moving to. Where's, what's your address? I actually don't know. Oh.

Actually, no, I do know. Why did you leave with video games in that conversation? Why? Why did you leave with the video games? Because that's more important to me than the home. It's your own place, right? You don't need a home. No roommate.

It's going to be awesome. Pumped. Mice? All grown up. Definitely. There was a mice trap when I went and toured it. Mouse trap. Mouse trap.

Sorry, my bad. Unless there's a lot of mice and you might get two. No, but it's a mouse trap. They don't sell mice traps. If they did, they'd be out of business. No, but it's a mousetrap. They don't sell mice traps. If they did, they'd be out of business. I'm sure it's nothing. I don't think it's possible for it to be worse than my

current place. Well, it will only be you versus the mice. It's true. You'll know who to blame. It's a little scarier. I'm going to take care of it, though. I think before I even get any furniture, I'm going to get some steel wool. Just shove them in every single hole nice what's in there with a shotgun where's steel we'll do i can't get through it it's like barbed

wire for mice yeah then they're gonna die inside your walls and they're gonna stink and you're not gonna that happen then see that you're gonna shove it in every hole is there a bunch of holes there's one hole it was right where the furnace it's like where the furnace is and i guess they're redoing the floors like today so I don't think there's going to be any problems nice until there is

there will be a problem that I don't know and you'll be armed and ready and dangerous yeah yeah what neighborhood same neighborhood doorman

no are you going to ride the train with KB every day oh yeah same train same train yeah moving's

going to be weird I think I'm just going to walk my stuff. I don't know what I'm going to do. How many trips? It's going to be a lot of trips. What wound up happening to your air conditioner? I threw it away.

Did you push it out the window? Yeah. Under a little child? Yeah, from the fifth floor. Does it have central AC? No. I don't think. Damn. Wait, so we have to spin to see who gets the central AC? No. I don't think. Damn.

Wait, so we have to spin to see who gets the first? Yes. Oh, we could just, when it gets here, spin the name wheel. The name wheel, yeah.

Okay, I fuck with that. I fuck with that. True. Good point. I fuck with that heavy. I fuck with that heavy. You making jokes, son? No.

It ain't the weekend, all right? We're not at the stand anymore, funny boy. No, I'm being serious. I fuck with that. Brandon, how pissed are you about lunch of fate? A delivery just came. Is it for us? I don't know.

This entire office gets delivered food. That's a great point. What did you say? How pissed am I about what? Yeah, about lunch of fate. I'm flying to Chicago Wednesday to try to find a house. Nice. You're not coming to the Final Four?

No, I was actually taken off of that assignment. What are your guys' predictions for the Final Four? Because I was looking at it this morning. FAU, San Diego State, Miami. That's crazy. That'd be my prediction. San Diego State and FAU are both in it. Yeah.

Miami's first Final Four ever. Does the transfer portal help schools like that or hurt them? COVID helped a lot. Help. Help. Why? Because you did Miami here? Yeah.

You can go to the transfer portal. Like FAU, I think there's one guy. How does it help the smaller schools? They can catch players from the upper one. They're in Florida and Miami or in San Diego. Like a guy in a power conference who's not getting playing time could potentially transfer where he's getting a ton of playing time. And they just want to go to these –

But UConn is also – I would think that the top guys on smaller schools would transfer after a year of success. That does happen. UConn has three guys coming off the bench that were all transfers that he basically was like, you could go nominate somewhere else or you could be part of something special here. Where did that kid from St. Peter's last year? Where did he transfer to? Doug.

Doug. Oh, yeah. Seton Hall, I think. How'd he do? He went Bryant. I think so. Yeah. I don't think Bryant had a good year.

Nobody from the St. Peter's team last year made the tournament this year. Wow. How did any of them perform well? Hmm. Yeah. Beautiful. Just goes any of them perform well? Beautiful. Just goes to show you, man. It really does. There's a guy on UConn named Joey Calcaterra,

Joey California, who UConn beat St. Mary's in Gonzaga on their way to the Final Four. He had transferred from San Diego. He was 0-18 against those two teams. Oh, that's sick. In his life. His redemption tour. Damn.

Yeah. You think UConn's going to win this weekend? I hope so. And you think San Diego's going to win this weekend? I don't care. Did you guys watch that? I don't know. Yeah, sure.

I know FAU's really good. I'm rooting for San Diego State. I love them. Did Kawhi Leonard go there? Yes. I love Kawhi Leonard. Like Aztec culture as well? Absolutely. Yes. They should be in the Pac-12, right? They could be. They might be soon.

Them in Boise? Walter White driving Aztec? Yes. Yes. Alright, I'm rooting for them. Wow. Trivia boy. All right, I'm rooting for them. Wow. Trivia boy. Is it Francis? They have a distinct rear end. Who's?

It was his birthday this weekend, wasn't it? It's his birthday today, I think. Nice. How old is he? 30, 35? 34. 34? Mm-hmm.

Oh. I thought he already was 34. I don't know. Could be mistaken. Could be doubling up. Did you guys? Back a year? If he doubled up, he'd be mistaken. Could be doubling up. He doubled up, he'd be 68. You guys listen to Mean Girls this week? No, do they have any clips?

I forgot when a new episode just dropped. I listened to the first half of their episode this week. I'm on their side now. Any clips? I didn't see any clips. I more listened to the uncut because I wanted to hear it right from their mouths. Well, they did do the smart play of putting on their victimhood. Yeah, any tears?

Any waterworks? They said that they cried a lot this past week. That's smart. That's smart by them to be like. But they also said we're not playing the victim, which was also smart. Yeah, right. Because then when they say it, you're like, well, they're not playing the victim. I just think that more people know.

There's fewer people that know about dinosaurs. A lot of people don't think dinosaurs existed. And I'm serious about that. I was oh shit. Nick's first food is here. Oh.

Whoa. Falafel. Okay. So someone's getting that for lunch. So do we wait until everything's here? No, I think we spin. Spin this first thing. Then you can start eating. Is today Francis' birthday?

I think so. He's really fishing. Yeah. Yeah. Is anybody going to go to his place to have some adrenochrome? I think that's what he has on his birthday. Just crack in the back of a fetus's head. Blood.

All right. Heavy bag. I forget. What did you get? A lot. A lot. Salad. The dessert square.

Brandon. No. They're worth it. No, no, Brandon. No, no. You can't be Spin it again Spin it again

Spin it again That's probably the best option Keep Brandon on So he can see What he would have gotten If he didn't break The rules of Lunch of Fate I think I just saw

Where his ass crack begins Yeah Wow He's really got a low hang Are you looking At the front of him Yeah Spin it again Fuck Brandon Wow, he's really got it low-hanging. Are you looking at the front of him? Yeah.

They spin it again. Fuck Brandon. Brandon? Big cat, there you go. All right. Okay, I don't want any of this food. What is that? Taco Bell. Taco Bell, all right.

This is the one I want. Shit. This would make me so happy. I got this food. Can you pass me it, Brandon? Oh, I would be so happy with that. Yep. Denia?

Taco Bell. Oh, no, no. I could probably go for the whole taco box. And when you get your food, the game is over. All right. No tradesies. No givesies, backsies. No sharesies.

No sharesies. No givesies, backsies. No tradesies. No sharesies No givesies, backsies No sharesies No sharesies, no givesies, backsies, no tradesies No sharesies With somebody that's not on the show you may share a Z's Damn Maybe a wheel to see who you could share with I don't know, that's stupid Should we spin this? Is this for Taco Bell?

Taco Bell Alright, Danny Zuko Zite Okay Taco Bell. Taco Bell. This is the one I want. All right, Danny Zuko. Zite. Oh, jeez. Heels it. Enjoy, Steve. Enjoy.

He's not even a Taco Bell type guy. Yes, he is. That's where Nitro Z originated. He's a salad bowl everyday guy. But isn't there a bowl? You're not on. Big T-Bell guy, too, so. Love it.

I'm happy for you, you. I'm jealous. Thanks. But, yo, I was in Florida last weekend, and I was telling this guy, making a conversation with this guy at the bar, saying that my brother-in-law works on the James Webb Space Telescope, and they found two solar systems that shouldn't exist. And I was like, this potentially disproves the Big Bang Theory. And he was and he like he was like oh you gotta talk to my friend he doesn't believe in dinosaurs which showed me twofold one there's another guy just sitting right there that also didn't believe in dinosaurs but also he believed that the big bang that i was talking about is what ended the

dinosaurs which is also what the mean girls believe. So I think that those are more common beliefs. Oh, yeah. A lot more people. And our little- They're not beliefs. However. They're incorrect. Yeah.

Milton Bradley. Carl Everett. Yeah. One of those. If I don't see it, it doesn't exist. Exactly. Which is, in some ways, a little Schrodinger's belief system, or like Doubting Thomas, however you want to classify it.

But I think more people believe what they believe, especially people who are very religious because like the existence of dinosaurs kind of invalidates strict Christian or other beliefs sometimes. Have you seen that giant ark? There's commercials for it now. It's like, come to the ark for summertime.

It's that giant ark in like Oklahoma. What the hell is that? And they ark in Oklahoma. Oh, Christmas. What the hell is that? And they believe the dinosaurs came 3,000. They explain it that they make it work with the Bible that the dinosaurs were just here 3,000 years ago. Jake, what are we talking about? I have a problem. What?

What? With the decision you guys have made. Over there. What? What? You mean the fate? I think it was, no, you guys made a decision on the Wheel of Fate. I think it was a knee-jerk reaction to punish me when I accidentally ordered, but my order got here third.

It wasn't a knee-jerk reaction. This is by the book how it's always been. You know how often I accidentally almost don't order my Chick-fil-A, so I always make sure when I get to the order screen, I press order. You got your Chick-fil-A. I don't know how often. You already got your lunch. It was instinct. You got your lunch already. I also don't know how often you almost got your Chick-fil-A. I don't know how often. You already got your lunch. It was instinct. You got your lunch already. I also

don't know how often you almost order your Chick-fil-A. I often sit out here waiting for my Chick-fil-A thinking, why aren't they here? And I haven't pressed the order button yet. What's that have to do with this? Because I have to, by instinct, I always make sure I press the order button as soon as I can see it. That wasn't my fault. What the hell is that? A hard beer?

Fres Mix Lemon and Ginger. Yeah. Oh, and Ginger. Yeah. Oh, when you said freeze, I was expecting like Slurpees. I was hoping. Slurpees. That looks good. I like the way that looks. I was expecting a Slurpee. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Dang. No, Brandon. You may not, Brandon. Oh, no. I just started gathering your hand to grab. It was so, it was.

I was gathering. Yeah, you had like a running start. You stretched out before asking. Look at this one. Pomegranate. It's a sip. Like a cat waking up from a nap. Let's spin for the cream.

That's pretty good. I know I'm going to get this fucking... Who spent the most money? Eight. Yeah. Eight by far. Nick, way to be Nick. Crispy cream.

You deserve this, brother. They're worse things. Creamy Nick. Francis, happy birthday, brother. Francis, happy birthday. How old are you? How old are you, Francis? 34.

34. Best year of your life, man. Care for a donut? Actually 34 is going to be the best and worst year You like some rice? It's just how the cookie crumbles Untold riches but also untold tragedy Someone's going to die in your life

In your life that's going to happen We're on our big fate shit right now Is this your birthday? We're trying to potentially have kids this year. Oh. I don't want to think about that. I'm saying that'll be the untold joy that I'm talking about. The greatest thing that'll ever happen to you.

Yes, but him saying I'll lose somebody could be the baby. No, no. Oh, no. I mean, it's not even a great chance you're going to have the baby this year. I was thinking more of a hiatus. It's ten months to go, the baby. Back in the park. I was hoping they wouldn't be my children.

Francis, is it your birthday? Yesterday. Happy birthday. Thank you. What did you do for it? I flew home. Flew home. Have a birthday donut.

Yeah, I'll have a donut. Okay. Thank you. Would you like a mini or a regular? I'll have a mini. Maybe stack a mini on a regular for the birthday boy. Oh. He can handle it this year.

Very fun. Very happy for you, Francis. Very, very. Having a birthday. Wait, what are the orders that these came in? Yeah. CBS is before.

Chase. Talk to the mic. Talk to the mic. Did you hear Hank? Hank came. Hank went to Zany's and then was asking for a ticket

and they're like, yeah, Francis is performing in Rosemont yeah did he go to Rosemont after? Dan Soder was performing downtown and he was almost like oh well actually I'd rather see Dan Soder I wanted

in Rosemont though that whole like complex is awesome it's amazing it's modern there's bowling alleys and shit it goes on weed yeah they play music out into the ice rink and stuff. Yeah, a bunch of concerts in the summer. Walk out, and it's very festive and fun, and there's some cool bars around there. Oh, look at that for the birthday boy.

A little stack. Here's to 34. It's going to be a great year. It is going to be a great year. That's the thing we said. You know I'm gonna make a good looking baby How about Chicago

Oh no doubt Chicago I didn't know this The rent is so affordable Yeah You guys are all in for a treat Why were you looking at the rent I just

I have friends who just moved there Yeah I went and saw their apartment And it was stunning And they told me what they pay And Nick was telling me about some of it. Yeah, no, Sass, like,

his jaw dropped when Nick showed. Nick showed me his place. Really? We're paying, like, the same amount. He's living in a bubble in Michigan.

He has a house. Nick has a house. A nice terrarium. Yeah. Anyway, thank you guys. Thank you. Happy birthday, Francis. Happy birthday.

Best year of your life, man. Much love. Best year of your life. Yeah, Much love. Best year of your life. We all are watching out for whoever dies. No, no, no. It's not going to happen. It'll probably just be my dog. Oh, damn.

This is so good. Thank you, Brando. You're the man. All right, what came next? We got, so CVS is first. Okay. Bluestone, and then the other one. Spin for CVS.

Who had CVS? I got a pomegranate for you. Get this pomegranate. Have this drink. It's delicious. There's no strings attached. I don't understand why I would think that. He's full.

He had a big vial of gas potion this morning. Try it. Give us a review. It's from Naya. Give us a review. Look, cheers. try it give us a review it's from Naya give us a review look cheers you're good you're good

nothing he's just cackling he's a cackling guy there is that new yak rule though if you take a drink you gotta twerk you gotta twerk

maybe go sit go sit down after you had that drink if you know what I mean No nothing There's literally nothing There's nothing Xanax crushed into it

Xanax I just dosed him so heavy That would be crazy We just gave him like 10 Xanax in there Classic yak It does kind of tell you What people think of me When I'm like here have this drink

And they're like no You gotta ask to come into the yak And to have a drink. That's true. True, true. Oh. All right, so CVS. So we're spinning for CVS.

This is a rough one. And there's no food. If it lands on Brandon, he gets it. Steven, should I get all the Taco Bell? Yeah, you got all of it. TJ. TJ. Come get your pins.

Oh, is this pins or is this? Razors. This is razors and three drinks. Razors and three. Wayne Reed get your pins. Oh, is this pins or is this... Razors. This is razors and three drinks. Razors and three... Oh, Kyle. Dwayne Reed was the pins. Yeah, your coach has been out for a surprisingly long time. 20 minutes. I know.

You'd be surprised how long it takes to move five... Oh, wait, no, he's close to being here. Yeah, my guy's almost here. All right, let's spin for the Bluestone Lane. Harry, what'd you get in this? It's a bacon egg and cheese on a croissant And the other The drink is just water with an espresso shot That's right up KB's alley

KB you got it fucking great You got a meal What's the chicken thing again? I totally forgot We didn't order chicken did we? Oh you just took someone else's? That's somebody else's lunch. Hey, Kyle, what's the chicken?

It's definitely someone else's lunch. Kyle, what's the chicken, man? I got a rotisserie chicken. Oh. Yeah, he's right. You can do that. Yeah. I guess you can just order another one.

Yeah, you can do that. I thought everybody gets a bite, though. I thought that everybody got a drumstick that they could kind of do what they wanted with. It's a taco call. I know.

I would do, yeah. That sucks. What's left? Let Kyle answer this. Suck your dick for a taco, Steve. Gotta be the guy, right? Hello. Hello.

I hope you guys, well, somebody's gonna get a bunch of smoothies. Yeah, you can just leave it right there what else did you get this is the Nick my lunch

is pretty good actually yeah fate's been good to you brother you've been a good boy that's a massive rotisserie chicken four fried chickens and a coke

lunch of fate is so much fun it's my favorite game I thought we were like we wore it out we've done this a few times right Four fried chickens and a Coke. Lunch of Fate is so much fun. It's my favorite game. I thought we were like, we wore it out. We've done this a few times, right? This is at least our fifth time playing. We got to put it on the yak bracket. Lunch of Fate 5. Ooh, this milk is real bad.

How are you gauging that? Haste. Makes sense. Texture sometimes, you know what I mean? Catchy's allowed to try either. God, it's bad. Catch a stray chunk. Can we go back to something for a second? So Mean Girls didn't submit any clips?

I don't know if that's true. That's the rumor on the street. You don't want to be on the bad side of the social team. Those guys grind. Alright, spin the wheel again for Walgreens. This is a tough one. One thing I don't want the Mean Girls to lose is I feel like, especially Alex, is a very positive person. I feel like if they lost their positivity, that would be tough.

That would be sad. I talked to her. She didn't seem. Yeah, I don't think she'll lose. But she did say on one thing that she said on the show that made me laugh was she was like, fast forward to two years ago. And I was like, wait, what? What?

KB, those sandwiches are good as fuck. Before we spend, Sash, you want to do a Shady Rays ad read? Sure. Oh, Sash, this is Sash's bread and butter. Shady Rays. Shady Rays, baby. You really shouldn't have fucked up, Brandon.

This lunch is great. All right, we got to spin for the fucking... Brandon can't get to Walgreens, though, right? He can, yes. That's on the table for him. Oh, I was the last. He's the last. He's going to end up getting five Cokes.

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His ad is kicking his ass, bro. I'm really getting you. I had too much coffee, and I'm getting out of breath. Heart's just pounding through the roof right now. You exhaled loud. I know. You're out of breath. Sweating. You're taking a test.

If you don't love them, exchange for a new pair or return them for free within 30 days. There's no risk when you shop with Shady Rays. Their team always has your back. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com and use code YAK for 50% off two or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. Wow. That is a smoking hot deal. It's sunny out.

It is sunny out. Get your shady rays and use code YAK for 50% off. Great ad read. Sass, you're a pitch man. All right, this is for the Walgreens bag. Nikki, I'm seeing a lot of unbitten minis. God fucking damn it. Hey, hey. Wal fucking damn it. Kate.

All greens. Pins. Kate spends $90 and then gets pins. You might be able to use... I threw in some nerds gummy clusters for you. That was really nice. I forgot you could do that too. You're always so good at this, dude.

You said that you had to put on the lashes. It was at this, dude. You said that you had to put on the lashes. It was your rule, Kate. That was your rule. You're going to be smushed up against my glasses. Major backfire. What is this again? Vitamins. Oh, vitamins.

Those would probably be usable. Unless are they for... What happens if a man takes women's daily vitamins? Vagina. Vagina just pops up Ponds Tits Anywhere though on you

Vagina's popping up What the fuck was that? I can see you covered in pussies Do I have a pussy? Take one of those vitamins. I liked your tweet this weekend. Am I bleeding? The difference in your picks of packs.

Oh, yeah. Wildly different. Is this just one bagel? Yeah, let's spin for the bagel while Big Cat's out there. Bacon, egg, and cheese. This isn't bad. This is actually quite good as opposed to the 25 bagel order that's on its way. The Bluestone is so good.

So good. I actually get that a lot. There you go. Got a bagel. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. You said I was eligible. No, that was only for the Walgreens.

No, that's bullshit. I've come up twice now. Look at that bag. What the fuck is that? No, no, no. I can't. No, no, no. Brandon, you don't get that.

Why not? You're last. All right, Tass, you got the bagel. Why didn't you put me back on the wheel? Oh, hell yes. You see how many things you... But you said I was eligible for the other one. Oh, we wanted to show you how...

Here, you can be eligible for the next one. No, I... All right, fine. He's eligible for the next one. You really want to be eligible, you're eligible. He's eligible for this one. That's my bagel right there. He's eligible for this one.

Go ahead, spin it again. I's eligible for this one. That's my bagel right there. He's eligible for this one. Go ahead. Spin it again. I totally get the hype of these now. Oh, the gummy clusters? Oh, my God. Yeah. All right. Oh, congrats.

Here you go. It's your Del Frisco's. One of the finest steak places in New York City. And what is left? How is there only one? You ordered a bunch of them. No, they let me order one. They really did?

Yeah. The bag is probably... There it is. That was $5. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That was $5?

$5.90. Holy shit. Yeah, delicious. There's your lunch, buddy. Drink up. Jesus Christ. Don't drink it all too fast, though. Or don't swim afterwards, for sure.

You want to make that last there, Brando. Man, they have bigger cans on an airplane. Oh, delicious. And yeah. Mmm. Oh, delicious. And yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Can you get it all in there? Brandon, give me one swig, dude. Can you get it all in there?

No. Hey, you can. Top it off. Get it all in there. Meniscus, whoa. Got a lot still in the can. A little bit of Coke is never enough, I'll tell you that much. X.

Or just after the first enough. Going back one more. Going to the bathroom to open another can. Ooh, that bacon. This room is really percolating with the smells of bacon. No, that's not. That's your Coke.

That's my bagel. God damn it, Seth. That's my bagel. Is it good? You guys reinstated me to the wheel. Is that flaxseed? Mm-hmm. Oh, so good.

That's a lot of bacon on it. Elite. You might have to just take some off and throw it away. Elite. What's up, Brandon? You got a tummy ache? Be light on your feet the rest of the day. Honestly, that's a little bit of an intermittent fast throughout the day.

Yeah, not eating lunch is kind of like a life hack. Power move. It's the only way to get skinnier. Okay. Diet. I've already eaten a lunch. What about your rotisserie chicken, KB? Yeah, I'm getting to it.

You're not going to pound that? No, not on the mic. So my bagels are on their way. What's the other meal that Zaha and I are going to be vying for? Whatever she bought, right? Oh, all the juices. Oh, man. Oh, and also Duane Reade.

A bunch of sandwiches, though. Smoothie, a shake. Walgreens. What? What was that, Zaz? Brother? That was the Walgreens. Oh, who got it?

It's taking forever. Oh, yeah. No, but we had CVS and Duane Reade. I got the other one. Oh, yeah, that's right. Duane Reade has Walgreens. 12-pack of Yoo-Hoos, a seltzer, a water, and a ladies razor. A 12-pack of Yoo-Hoos?

Let me see that, TJ. How many tacos have you had, Steven? Oh, wow. Steven, you've been pounding tacos. I had two tacos, and then there was a bowl that was very good. Oh, wow. Healthy bowl, or what was the nature of the bowl? It was basically like a flourless taco.

Everyone's enjoying their lunch of fate, Brandon. How's that Coke? You're almost... Slow down, buddy. I don't drink Coke. Great it. Oh, it's awful. It's a treat. Yeah. I don't drink Coke. Great. Oh, it's awful. It's a treat.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't like it? I genuinely don't like it. It's fine. It's Coke. How do you know? The only time I ever drink Coke is when I'm trying to stave off a migraine.

Oh. The caffeine helps? Never works. Really? I've heard caffeine can. Why do you keep doing it? By the time I've made the decision to do the coke, the migraine has already come. Set in.

Yeah. You ever use one of those ice rollers on the forehead or anything like that? No, nothing works. How often do you get migraines? About once a week. Jesus Christ. Do you have medication for it? No, there's nothing I can do.

I've taken medication and it doesn't do anything. Then it's all fake. Medication or the... You. I think you're... Making it fake. The medication or the... You. I think you're... Making it up. Yeah. No, no.

Retention. I had to vomit in the Phoenix airport coming back from the Arizona Bowl. Oh, it's because you were hammered. I don't drink. Oh. You ever put your... You were blacked out.

And you used to drink early on. Remember at, like, the Super Bowl when you got, like, a 12-pack of Coors Lighter or Bud Light so you could watch the, could watch WrestleMania or something on your balcony? No. So, yeah. It was the Royal Rumble. Brandon does not drink that often because I remember the first time we were on the road together.

We were in Clemson, and we were like, should we go to a bar? And I'm like, no, let's just go get some frozen yogurt. Yeah. It was great. Let's go see the stadium and get some frozen yogurt. It was a great date night. Probably the peak of our friendship and all downhill from there. Well, I think it's had some highs.

What were your expectations of Brandon coming in? He would always be nice to the advertisers. Somehow gone below that. I feel like that's a major expectation. Were you here before Brandon? Yeah. What were you expecting? It was all so new to me.

It was crazy. I didn't know what to expect. Kind of invited myself on the act, too. Oh, did you? Are you on the show? When? Not really. When did you invite yourself?

I first started, and I would visit up here, and you would say, hey, if you want to come in while you're here, and I would come in, and then when I got here, I just would say, hey, if you want to come in while you're here, and I would come in. And then when I got here, I just came in. Oh, well, I like that. Remember, Coley was still on it. And then when he moved, you said you can have his chair. Oh. That's whose chair I got.

We needed the tall guy. All right. Let's spin for this between me and Zah who gets this bagel order. The bagels just came. I like the colors of you two. These donuts make me sleepy. You barely touched them.

Don't you have to take a bite of every one? She had a Coke. I'm pretty sure you got to take a bite of every one. Do. Do. You can have a donut, but you have to have the milk, too. I don't want the milk. Milk is so bad. Damn it, I shouldn't have ran my fucking mouth. have to have the milk, too. I don't want the milk. Milk is so bad.

Damn it, I shouldn't have ran my fucking mouth. Oh, all those bagels in one little mouth. So Zah gets whatever's left? Kate's juices. Oh, okay. Juice it up, Zah. Juices and, like, four sandwiches. Kind of pumped, to be honest.

Yeah, he's finally on the move. When's Arsenal's next game, Za? Saturday, Sunday. Leeds. Nice. Leeds, eight points clear. We're looking good. Yeah, Troops tried to like reverse it on me and come into the March Madness stream.

I actually wanted him to watch with us. He was like trying to troll. Oh, last week? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was like, yeah, you should hang out. I was a nibble, not a bite. Troops looked at me today and said, why don't you do a wrestling podcast?

Oh, man. So he actually did go through with what I paid him for. Does Britain have, like, high school soccer matches like we have football? Oh, good question. I don't think so. I think they got, you know, clubs, right? They don't have, like, school games. Oh, good question. I don't think so. I think they got you don't have like clubs, right? School, games. There's youth clubs.

Do people get into like Friday night lights here? Is it like on Friday night everyone goes to watch the kids play soccer? Yeah, the really good players are in

academies. And they started like nine years old. Basketball's getting big in Europe. Do they have like high school basketball? I think

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Do they have high schools? I've never heard of high school basketball. Do they have high school basketball? I don't know. Do they have high schools? I've never heard of high school basketball. Do they have high schools? What position shags the best looking birds? Striker? Probably Striker.

Maybe midfield? Striker. Goalkeepers. No way. That was the wrongest answer ever. Goalkeepers. No way. No way, dude. Goalkeeper? No way. That was the wrongest answer ever. Those guys are hardly soccer players. I feel like they get good bitches. Goalkeepers, catchers, goalies.

I'll fight for all those guys. I mean, Buster Posey gets whatever he needs. Broke his leg, though. Really, I always felt like goalies in hockey, that was the coolest position. They're all psychos. Yeah. They're cool. Those big pads.

Total nuts. Do they call them wags? Wags, yeah. Wife and girlfriend? No. Probably both, yeah. Yeah, wife and girlfriends. So you're allowed to have both?

I mean, look at that. Apparently. I think a lot of them do. That's a great wag. Hey, by the way the way wait let me do the chili's ugly as fuck um chilies only at chili's just 10.99 get your bottomless drink started like bottomless chips and salsa a full-size entree like the classic old-timer with cheese and a big old side of fries with the Chili's three for me deal. Telling you it's a feast, but like a casual feast. Just 1099.

We're not talking gold forks and stuff. The bottomless chips and salsa Chili's are the absolute best. Can't get this unbeatable abundance of food elsewhere. Whether you're getting fast food or picking up groceries, head to your local Chili's where you can enjoy the three for me deal for just 1099. If I were doing a three for me deal right now, I'd do bottomless chips and salsa. I would do, uh, Oh, let's see. Burger. Yeah.

But I like the, I like the wings over Buffalo too. The Buffalo, I would probably have to deviate. I'd do two, three for me deals. One with bottomless chips and salsa, one with a burger, one with bottomless chips and salsa one with a burger one with bottomless chips and salsa one with the buffalo wings you could afford to at that price double chips and salsa yeah 10.99 three for me deal only at chili's um nick you're gay Yes. Yes. Yes. Acknowledge it. I saw the picture. Oh, I'm gay. You're gay.

Yeah. Whoever posted it was like, I found gay KB and Nick. It's like, no, no, no. That was Nick. Didn't look anything like KB. They were just like, oh, who's the guy next to him? There's some liberties there. There's some liberties taken with Kyle. But you are.

Can you pull up the picture? It is posted. Oh, okay. I thought this. Can you pull up the picture? It is posted. Oh, okay. I thought this was because you went to the Met this weekend. Oh, that too. No, I went there because that's, it was where I proposed and I went back and. Oh, you're right. It was really romantic.

Okay. You cried at a Rembrandt. No, I cried at the Rembrandt, but I proposed in front of a Monet. Water Lilies. Whoa. That's a Monet. Water Lilies. Whoa. That's her name. Water. This gay dude popped up in my Explorer.

Someone I might know. This pic looks like gay Nick and KB. So it's not KB. So here's what. That's Nick. It's kind of Kyle. That is Nick. It's kind of Kyle.

Nick, that's you. It looks. Yeah, it is. You know what? Looking back and forth between the two. Have you got a haircut and shaved? Exact same glasses. I mean, it's the exact same glasses.

That's you. Handsome couple. It is. I like that they said gay Nick and KB. Yeah. So it's regular KB. Right. Regular. It doesn't even look like regular KB. Yeah. So it's regular KB. Right. Regular.

It doesn't even look like regular KB. Oh, it does. Not really. It's the same fishy face as me. Whoa. Whoa. Don't fucking put yourself down like that. It's not.

Come on, bro. I can't. I can't. Don't put yourself down. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah

It's you You look good No I mean I I had I had just been fucked by that man I was in a good mood I guess I should start eating too My tummy hurts real bad

This is so This sucks so much dick You wouldn't think one bite of 24 donuts is a lot? It's a lot. I mean, one bite is like, what, one-fourth of a donut? Yeah. Especially because the small ones, it's not like it's better. Like, you still have to take a whole bite of it.

Do I have forks? God, I was so hungry going into this. Naya never gives me forks. I don't know. It's so annoying. You. Naya never gives me forks. I don't know. It's so annoying. You deliver Naya a lot. It's across the street. Yeah.

That's the old me. Now I just don't eat. Nice. Do you have a fork in yours? In mine? Yeah. No. Check your bag.

Do you have a fork in there? For my Coke? Oh, that's right. I forgot. Whoops. I usually have a spoon for that. For my Coke? Oh, that's right. I forgot. Whoops. Usually have a spoon for that. That bacon, egg, and cheese made me sleepy. Yeah?

I hate this so much. Oh, Ron's going for the yogurt parfait. Way to go. How is it? It's good. Growing boy. It's the best part. I love parfait.

Although, just a plump one every morning. Did you have forks in yours? Zahn might have gotten forks or something. Then again, it was all sandwiches. I don't know. Steven has to just a plate. Oh, watch your. I'm trying to leak on you. Did you have forks in yours? Zahn might have gotten forks or something. Then again, it was all sandwiches. I don't know. Steven has to have a fork. He had a Power Bowl. There's a fork in the kitchen.

Go to the kitchen. Yeah, I'll wait. This is delicious. I got chicken in mine. Yay, good for you. Yay. You can't eat for the rest of the day. I'll bet.

Oh. Bet. Look at you using cool lingo. Bet as in, like, agree? Bet as in... No cap? No. No, that's not...

Leisure on that. That's not how bet works. No, bet means... Bet me. I'm walking to Five Guys as the show ends. And we can't end a 12-hour show today, boys? This might be the show. This might be the day.

I got to do the dozen. Oh, you I gotta do the dozen Oh you gotta do the dozen Well I do Jeff pretty please Can you put me on again That's not it He makes us defend the crown And didn't make anybody else Defend the goddamn crown

We get it And we gotta play every week We already did our dozen match today I know I was used as a phone Oh spoiler That's not really a spoiler 100% is match today. I know. I was used as a phone. Oh, spoiler! That's not really a spoiler.

100% is. 100% is. I didn't say whether I got it. Was Alan watching? Huh? Was Alan watching? I was hosting Pick Central, so Alan was out of the building. Saw it with the forks. Thank you, Zola. How did you bring nine forks? He only needed one. You need one for your coke. You want some rotisserie? I do want some rotisserie. Don't, don't, don't, don't.

Let him have it. Don't. Oh. Oh, thank God. Thank God. All right. Very sorry. Wow.

Straight sleepy. I am too. Yeah. I am too. I did not sleep well last night. Are you serious? Something about playing 10 hours of video games right before bed keeps you up for a little bit after. Again, what video game was it?

What? What video game was it? Warzone, Call of Duty. Such a good session, too. Just on fire. Firing on all cylinders. You and the boys? Oh, yeah.

Full crew. full crew I bought a PS5 for Christmas and we're already to the point where every time I want to buy a game I have to delete one of the boys games

and it starts World War 3 what game like an extended hard drive I had to delete Clone Drone and the Danger Zone

over the weekend and it did not go well what game did you get what game is that WWE 2K23 oh nice yeah I was thinking about getting it too. It was super fun. But now MLB The Show is also

out, so I've got to figure out how I'm going to do that. Oh, shit. I want to play MLB The Show. Why don't you just get your own PlayStation 5? That's not how it works. It's not how any of us... I really want to game again. No time.

Pat got me that cat game Where you're the cat Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Stray Stray And I actually got really into it What? What did you just say? What was the thing that just came out of your mouth?

Stray Stray That's right It's a game where you can be a cat It's called Stray Yeah You're just a cat? You're a cat

And at first you're just tooling around having a great time you're exploring around and then like five levels in which she didn't tell me all of a sudden these like evil crabs start coming to try and kill you abs there's like these like evil robots people don't talk about it enough how like the crabs are always going after cats yeah constant con it was very it became very stressful but i got like super into it for a while. Wait, so when you need to escape reality, you're a cat? Yeah. Because you don't even have to continue going through the levels. You can just keep tooling around as a cat for a while.

And you can befriend other cats. Yeah, it's lovely. Damn. It's great. What do you play it on? I don't know what he has. I don't know what it is. But it's like a console?

Yeah, yeah. He has a PS something, I guess. I don't know. I have no idea. I believe it's PlayStation. Four, five? Yeah. Is it big and white, or is it black and thin?

Black. Yeah, five or four. That's the question. Well, those are the, I mean. Big and white or black and thin. It's a good game, though. It's like, I think it was like critically acclaimed. I don't know.

Get that up. Lunch is so good. I hate this. First of all, your eyelashes look pretty short. They didn't. There's no glue. Oh, I thought they were pressed. It doesn't come with glue. Yeah. To buy extra glue?

Yes. We should have been able to buy glue. You're lying. I don't feel good at all. I think it was the milk. That milk is so, it was bad. You really did bite every single one of those. Yeah, I did.

Which is so... It's so upsetting to me. It's so fucked up for everybody else that might want to try a bagel. I'm going to put a sign, just please take one in the kitchen. Someone took a bite. That would be so funny. But didn't I buy the one there? Did you open the other box of donuts?

Yeah. Bit them all. We should put the bagels and the donuts out and tell everyone it was like one person just went and took a bite out of everything. That would be the biggest controversy. Yeah. The fucking mean girls. They would fly into New York. There was a lunch-dealing controversy here, wasn't there?

Yeah, somebody took two Chick-fil-A sandwiches once. And then Dave profiled and went straight to Glenny. Who was it? I think it was Sage. And like YP, or like, it was like a couple or like Dana, or someone, there was like a video of someone walking back with like a handful of Chick-fil-A sandwiches. Oh yeah.

I still maintain that Biz ordering Chick-fil-A for the office and only getting enough for everyone to have one. That was the problem. He wanted the credit. Can't do that. Ordering lunch for the office is crazy. You hungry, buddy?

Here, Brandon. Do spy cam. I have one unbitten donut. Yeah. I'll give it to you. If you go do spy cam and just put this in the kitchen. Note, please take one and then tell somebody. It's like, hey, there's donuts in the kitchen. Or just stand in the kitchen with your phone out after they're out.

Yeah. And just kind of looking like you're scrolling your phone, but just videotaping everyone. Yeah. And just like kind of looking like you're scrolling your phone, but just videotaping everyone. Yeah. Am I... I gotta go get the... Come back in a second. What? I gotta get the phone set up. Ah, okay. Okay.

Uh, I haven't touched the entire other thing. Oh, yeah. Where is the KFC new studio? Is it just their same studio? No, it's right next door. Oh, really? Yeah. Where the stool streams used to be.

Yeah. That's cool. Who's taking their studio? Not you, big boy. I think that'll be Anus' New York branch. PMT, we're going to lock the door on our studio. Strict orders, no one's allowed to open it for 200 years. Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah. So, we'll see what happens. Hey, Pete. Want a donut? You probably don't, fat boy. He walked into that one. Yeah. He was begging for that one.

He really did. Ron, your meals look pretty good. Just a bite of a bunch of bagels. I don't know. I don't feel as bad as you do, but I definitely used to drink these naked drinks in college, being like, I'm healthy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I used to think, naked drinks in college being like, I'm healthy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I used to think. Anything green?

Because didn't they used to list on the side how many- Veggies and fruits for an issue. There's like five apples, four pears, nine bananas. Yep. There just ain't no way. Nine bananas. No way. Juices from two and three quarters apples one third mango

one twelfth of a pineapple half a banana and one third of a kiwi let's hear your sugar let's hear what you're gonna say to people like hey I bought too many donuts it's not that bad then

there's some in the kitchen if you want it's natural sugar yeah pretty good yeah it was good oh shit It's natural sugar. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah, it was good. Oh, shit. The coach's picture dropped.

I got to get to work. The NFL coach's picture? Yeah. All right, stop doing that. Let's turn the volume down. I'm going to have to find some other angles. Jesus Christ. McCarthy looks like he's got to fart.

Who looks coolest oh man just off the top of my head Dable's looking pretty fucking cool okay who's the guy who had the perfect little bowl cut and then he cut it

Mark Davis Mark Davis yeah I gotta work I gotta blog tonight holy shit big cat blog coming out yeah I got some donuts. I got a blog tonight. I'm going to blog tonight. Big Cat blog coming out. Yeah. I got some donuts I'm putting in the kitchen.

Yes, Mike. Some donuts. Yeah. Putting them in the kitchen. There's already food over here. Yes. Throw out the bagels, Brandon. I'll have to block the line. How need to reverse the camera

close it keep it closed you can see that there's bites taken out Jesus oh my god I'm ready to film it oh my god

hey Bites how you doing good how are you great thank you I don't like your pants. You don't like them? No.

No. I have some donuts, Bob. Too many of you want me to leave you with donuts, eh? Bite them all? What? Why do you bite them all? Just donuts. He doesn't care.

Yeah, Bites wouldn't care. I think I would probably have one too would you? I would want to know whose bite it was yes who would be acceptable and who wouldn't are you getting beef jerky now? I don't know how to blog are you getting beef jerky as well?

I don't know how to get in the back end just to ask real nice sense of hubs Are you getting beef jerky as well? What do you mean you don't know how to blog? I don't know how to get in the back end. Ask real nice. Sense of hubs. You should write it on a piece of loose leaf paper. Hubs, here's this. Here you go, hubs. Or dictate it to them.

Donuts. Why are you taking bites out of them? That was a delicious donut. Thank you. Oh, this is a yak thing? Oh, that sucks. It's like the meat. Are people not taking it?

People figure it out. They're like, oh, another yak thing. Well, then have a donut. I feel like you should just leave. Yeah, when he's filming them. Stop. Obvious. Brandon, stop talking. Who better? Yeah, I would hide somewhere. Thanks, it's obvious. Brandon, stop talking.

Yeah, I would hide somewhere. Thanks, Nick. Yep. I'm sorry for complaining about the bitten donut. Is this John Rich? John Rich. Stop! Go hide and watch.

Doing it wrong, Brandon. This is so... He's destroying the entire thing. We look like idiots. We're not going to get any reaction. We want to see someone who genuinely will just get a bit. John Rich, look, there's donuts right there. Why don't you go grab one? I don't think there's anything wrong with them.

Why can't you close the goddamn door? Oh, they're bitten? Guess what? You're on camera. Myself. Yeah, we're... This is awful. This is awful.

Terrible. It's over. Complete fail. Complete fail. Not on our end. The prank is out. Strictly Brandon. I have a feeling he's going to be proud of himself.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Should we tell him that he just killed it? Yeah. That was unreal. All right, all right. Yeah, let's all pretend that that was amazing. Let's not be over the top.

Let's make him think. That's how he was holding it, too? Just outwards so they could see themselves? They saw themselves? That was hilarious. That was ruined. Nicely done. Very funny.

That was so funny. That was awful. It wasn't bad. It was hilarious. That was so funny. Put me on. That was awful. That was terrible.

That was hilarious. See, Ron can't even keep a straight face. He thought it was funny. He crushed it. Why can't you just take a compliment? I don't... Bad at taking compliments. I don't think it could have gone any better.

Fights face when he found out that they were... Oh, my God. Do the face, S. Yo. I don't think they even knew you were filming, either. No, I was very incognito. Incognito. I like how you spaced out that word.

Incognito. Be careful. Neato. Come on now, Brandon. Get you a donut now. Come on now. Get you one. I can have a donut?

But you've got to take a swig of the milk. Something's amiss. I don't want to have the milk. Just confirm for him that it's bad. I just need, unless, I don't think I, I don't know if I dislike milk. Can I smell it? No. With your mouth.

All right, let's see. With your tongue. Smell it with those buds. Sell by April 2nd. Yeah, that's fine. There was something wrong. It smells fine. Okay, maybe I don't like milk.

Have you had whole milk in a while? No. Yeah, that's probably why. There is zero wrong with this milk. I had to run and get a water. Yeah, you probably just haven't had whole milk. It just tastes like milk. Goodness gracious.

That's actually good milk. Shit. Damn, you have no palate for milk? You must be poor. Fuck. Lost my taste for milk. Nick, you cut your hair. Yeah.

Should we spin the reel? What happened? I just, it was time. Can I say something to the big audience real quick? Yeah, to the big audience? Yeah, since I got the yak here. Can I have something to the big audience real quick? Yeah, to the big audience? Yeah, since I got the yak here. Did I have a bite of that? Yeah.

Is it about promoting your show that you didn't choose the name that we chose? The Crotchables? No, it's not going to be about that. Is that finally coming out? Wednesday. It was just going to be on my Twitter. I tweeted out two GoFundMe links for the tornado victims in Mississippi this weekend. Some very poor towns got hit by F5 tornado, and a lot of people are struggling.

So please go to my Twitter. Over the weekend, I tweeted out several GoFundMe links. But if you could give anything, you can. Yes. That sucks. That was terrible. That's awful. Awful.

Awful. Yeah. Good on you, Brandon. I can't believe tornadoes even just exist like that. It's such a horror. The last 10 years, they're getting more intense in Mississippi. It's bad. Are you saying global warming?

No, but I'm saying every spring, it's like you just wait until your house gets obliterated. That sucks. I think it's the scariest natural disaster. By far. Yes. Yeah. It's hurricanes you see coming. And like a tornado, or like

I'm sorry, tsunamis, you can kind of get a warning of beforehand for the most part, and you need to be by the water for them to happen. The fact it comes to your house, what? Yeah, the town that it hit in the Delta is one of the poorest towns in the state, and I don't see how they're going to rebuild.

Shut up. Yeah, that sucks. Anyway, that's... We gotta get some money down to Mississippi. I don't see how they're going to rebuild. That sucks. Anyway, that's... We got to get some money down to Mississippi. Slush fund? Stephen, will you give the slush fund to Mississippi? It's gone. It's buying a new fridge. What did you get? A fridge. Send the fridge

to Mississippi. Send the old fridge at least. Old fridge is busted. Motor burned out. Those people don't have fridges. Shipping would be gargantuan. This is a several hundred pound fridge. Excuses, man. The amount of excuses.

There's nothing we can do. I will donate, Brandon. Thank you. And I don't... I'm waiting. I texted the governor to see if there's an actual fund or something. You just want... You texted the governor?

Yeah. You just wanted... Hugh. Oh, boy. Let fund or something. You texted the governor? Yeah. You just wanted Hugh. Oh, boy. Let him have it. Let him have it. Oh, boy. Got to let him have that. I can't say anything.

You can't. Doing some good deeds. Don't. Don't. Texted the governor and Lane Kiffin. Texted the governor. Texted Lane. Texted the governor.

And I said, hey, is there an actual fund that we can give to this? Not a GoFundMe raised by somebody. Talk to Mike Leach through Ouija board. I did. See if there's something we could do. Yeah. So there you go. What did the governor say?

He didn't text back. Who's this? Hey. He didn't text back. Tell Diplo. Wait a minute. Let's call him right now. Soulja Boy is from Mississippi.

Big Hill is from Mississippi. I'll say this. Diplo. It probably won't happen, but we should start the public pressure. F.R., if you want to get back in the good graces, save everyone in Mississippi. Yeah. Do the right thing. Turn that volleyball gym into a shelter or something.

Yeah, let them live in the gym. What did Big Cat call the governor? He's probably pretty busy. I'll persuade the governor. I can get the governor on the gym. Let Big Cat call the governor. He's probably pretty busy. I'll persuade the governor. Wait, I can get the governor on the phone. Let him leave a message. I will persuade the governor. I think the governor's trying to do things.

I don't think we're going to have to... Let's bribe him to give more money to the poor. I got to figure out a way to do something. What about a t-shirt in the store? Yeah, we could do an auction. We haven't done an auction in a while. I've never done well with t-shirts. Oh, good call.

Let's do an auction. We have some art over here. Yeah, we could do an auction. We haven't done an auction in a while. Oh, good call. Let's do an auction. We have some art over here. Yeah, we'll do an auction. Shit from the pile, whatever. We could have a bunch of these paintings over here that have been sitting here for a couple months. Your boy award? There's a stack of...

Yeah, 10 racks. Sas said he'd go down and do some stand-up. We'll auction that off. Okay. But he's never played a black room, though. So it depends on which city in Mississippi. Anywhere he'd be okay. Jackson? Sure, I'd do Jackson.

Okay, great. Thank you. I'm going to Jackson. That's a song. Johnny Cash? Johnny Cash, yeah. Gotta love Johnny Cash. Oh, look, yeah. Gotta love Johnny Cash. Oh, look, yeah.

Oh, I hate that. Why are we auctioning off dick pics? It's not the people in Mississippi buying them. Money's going to them to raise money. You're right. I'm sorry. Brandon thought that the person who lost their house has to buy the dick pic

their house back. We got an auction off a house. No, for real. Can we do an auction? Yes, let's do an auction tomorrow. Let's do an auction tomorrow. Everyone bring in something. Do an auction.

Auction that cactus off. That's a great idea. We have to do it tomorrow. Yeah, we'll do it tomorrow. I just said we'll do it tomorrow. I'm going to bring in something sweet. Yak auction tomorrow. Yak auction tomorrow.

Cliff DeMartino, show up. Yeah. Yeah, money bags. Can you auction $1,000? Oh, yeah, I love that. There might be a legal restriction. I would have done it. You can't sell $1,000.

I don't think you can sell money anymore. I think that's federal. That would have been sick. I mean, people are selling Bitcoin left and right. People are selling cryptocurrencies. That's not. No, I'll bring a bunch. It's not money.

Forget the Yak auction. You going to remember? Yeah. You going to remember? There's trash all over this office we can auction off from. Yes, I will. All right, Yak auction. Yak auction, Marwood.

Do good. $10,000 goal. That should be easy. Double it. $20,000 goal? Yeah. We're doing it for Mississippi. Yeah, Yeah. We're doing it for Mississippi. Yeah, good.

We're doing it for the sip. Good. It's a Mississippi. All right, let's spin the wheel then. There's a chance Stephen Che gets all the money. Yeah. Yes. And.

And. And. And. If Ben Mintz doesn't run this 10K, we then go down and steal. He's not from Mississippi. He's from Louisiana. But let me finish. We go down and steal the remnants of all these people's houses.

That would be a lot of work. It would, but we would do it if Ben Mintz. He hasn't been training, has he? No. But yes, we will do an auction. This will be awesome. We're going to raise a bunch of money, Brandon. I'll find some high-ticket items in the pile.

Some starter jackets, maybe? Getting unblocked by Brandon on Twitter. Oh. What? Auction off getting unblocked by Brandon on Twitter. Yeah, Katie's done that. She didn't really make any money. Oh, shit. Some people don't care what you have to say.

The people I block just create new burner. Yeah, it's not that hard. Just keep rolling. Good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. All right, let's spin the real wheel.

Gotta get to blogging. Back when Jackson was a real small town. All right, draw high. Draw high. Cool. Shit. Real nose.

All right, tomorrow we're saving the city of Mississippi. All right. We're going to save the whole city. Can you find, though, some real GoFundMes that we can... I'll have to do that right now. Yeah. All right.

Tomorrow we're going to save the world. It's the Yak given back. Make it a better place. Yeah. Yak gives back. It's a great... Yak gives back. Make it a better place. Yeah. Yak gives back. It's a great. Yak gives back. It's our slogan.

Hell yes. We always have. I love it. I love it. Except for all this food that we're just going to throw out that we wasted. I'm going to eat some more donuts. You want some bagels? I might have a bite.

Double up on your bites. Is there any more tacos left? Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. All right. All right. We'll see you everyone tomorrow. Yak gives back.

Okay. I'll be back. We'll see you next time.