The Yak - The Mousetraps are Back with a Vengeance | The Yak 10-2-23

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

I DON'T WANNA DO ITYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Did we segregate the show today? Whoa. Whoa. Oh. Oh. Doing blacks and whites. Whoa. That's crazy.

I'll be. We did an accidental segregation. Yeah. Yeah, Moog. We got our. Look at us. What kind of did an accidental segregation. Yeah, Moog. We got our... Look at us. What kind of NC me working right there, Moog? I roll them up a little bit.

Yeah. Moog, is that a boner pillow? Yeah, wait a minute. That's a boner, Moog. Moog, are you hard right now, bro? You want to know? I don't... Just, nope.

Oh, yep, he is. Speaking of being hard, I finished my erotica. Really? I'm done. I'm done. You are. You motherfucker. I'm done.

I watched. Don't ask anything about football that happened this weekend. Did not watch. I was locked in the room. I. God damn it. I'm about four pages in, but I had to add an author's note. Four pages in.

This is. How many? Yeah, I was I'm definitely going to have to write this. I clocked in at 2,200 words. Yeah. So I'm four pages in and the leprechaun's not even there yet. Maybe. I want it to be like a twist. Like, oh my God, he teased even the readers. How many words is 2,200 words?

I mean, how many? 2,200. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Reset. Timeout. I'm taking a timeout. I'll be back in 30 seconds. Yeah, yeah how many 200? Jesus Christ. Yeah. Reset timeout. I'm taking a timeout.

I'll be back in 30 seconds. Yeah. I guess. Titus, how, how many pages is 2200 words? I feel like four or five. Yeah.

Did you guys read other erotica for inspiration? No. Cause I did and I get it. Something about it. I started, I mean, I don't want to spoil mine too much but i i started like real subtle with like using things i use like scientific terms like her vagina and his penis was that you know and then by the end i was like he was butt fucking the shit out of you know like it got very

graphic towards the end or i'm just like they just come everywhere the fucking you know one of my hiccups is there's only so many ways to describe intercourse yeah in a sentence like in like not according to kwan mills yeah yeah i'm pretty i'm uh over 100 pages into that now so kind of almost a third of the way through the book really sad when's book report though tomorrow it's gonna be tomorrow. We can push it off of Kyle's. Kyle has not started. I didn't even get the book. Oh, that. Oh, shoot.

Oh, you guys are making me do homework. You're a freshman of the year. Right. You're a freshman of the year. You're a freshman of the year. Looks like I'll be, but. You got a little bounce in your step today. Yeah, what happened?

Zach Wilson. Oh, that was the most fun I've had watching anything, sports, entertainment, in years. Oh. I loved every second of that game. It was a fun game. Yeah. Also, it was a great color game. Christmas.

Yeah. It was. That matters. That 100% matters when you're watching anything. So, yeah. So, the Jets played phenomenally So happy for them And I flipped the Frank

On the Pacheco first touchdown I got Isaiah Pacheco Wait, you what? Flipped the Frank? Flipped the Frank! I turned 100 into 10 Benjamins Goddamn That's a button down

What? Goddamn So even when they were down 17-0 I was riding high from that Damn. That's a button down. What? Damn. So even when they were down 17-0, I was riding high from that. And then the performance was amazing. You flipped a Frank into, say the whole phrase again. A button down. I bet $100 on Pacheco first touchdown made $1,000.

No, but flip the Frank and then 100 Benjamins button down? 10 Benjamins. 10 Benjamins and Benjamins. That's a button. That was in the heat check tickler file. Yeah. That was good. I bet Pacheco first touchdown as well.

And I also had Noah gray. Anytime you got that. Yup. Oh, hell yeah. Nick, you were here when we started talking about what we're going to bet. First touchdown.

I thought of it on the car ride. Oh my God. What a game. What a game. What a game. What a game. I liked even watching the Chiefs do well. I loved it. I loved the Swift parts. The Pacheco touchdown was a long one.

Rediscover football? Yes. Are you doing it through, like, a story arc of Taylor Swift? Because there were definitely people who tuned in last night. And they were like, who's this Zach Wilson guy? Is he next up? Probably. Yeah, they'd never seen an NFL game before.

Yeah, that's somebody's first NFL game. That guy's a rising star. Yeah. If you had watched that game and you knew nothing of the backstory, you'd be like, Zach Wilson's the best player. Mahomes sucks. Football fans treat every game like it's a standalone performance, like you're only as good as your last one.

Well, yeah. I mean, I lost a lifelong friend yesterday. Oh, no. Did he attempt to revive it or walk away? I mean, Dan was the one at fault. Why would Nicky Smokes be the one to revive it? You didn't get this whole. Listen, that was my lifelong friendship with Nicky Smokes.

We had been lifelong friends for over two months, and it's over. It's over. Did he express resentment? Because this happened before. He placed the bet before the game. Oh, yeah. Was he upset before that? Yeah, glad you weasel rats cast your bet.

So I bet a lot of money on the Bills against the Dolphins. He said, glad you weasel rats cast your bet, but you lost a lifelong friendship from somebody who had put it all on the line for his boys. I was going to defend you, Big Cat, but I don't want to lose that either. Yeah. I also, I know people were shitting on Nicky Smokes. Like, that is objectively a hilarious tweet. But then the follow-up.

He actually tweeted that. And he's, like, blacked out. Holy Ernest being like, friendship's over. That's so fucking funny. And he's being serious. I. Holy Ernest being like, a friendship's over. That's so fucking funny. And he's being serious. I love him. That's funny. That is what we love.

Yeah, like he's a weirdo. If I would have known this was all it took to get him to stop talking to me, I would have bet on the Dolphins a long time ago. Or bet against the Dolphins a long time ago. Yeah, that was a funny tweet. Like he was dead serious too someone caught him typing it out uh-huh at the gate yeah and he was like mad typing being like you guys yeah look at this like one of those videos oh no they actually did see it yeah usually that's a

guy sending a horny text yeah these fucking guys are not my friends anymore. Oh, my God. That's so fucking funny. It'd be like my team lost. Jerry and Big Cat out. Then he had another one where he was like, I talked to my mom tonight. She made me feel better. It's like, dude, it was one game. I thought there was a tweet earlier that I thought his mom had passed, like, yes, the same day. Bill's Mafia should drag me through the fucking grave pull every receipt i don't care i just care about the people i lost today miss my mom jesus

i thought his boy what the fuck stolen valor yeah that's a stew fighter last walk with my dog for 24 hours but that that. Just got off the phone with my mom. Just got off the phone with my mom. I don't know what I'd do without her. These losses hurt, but she's always there to make me not feel like a loser. God damn. Like you said, he's earnest. Yeah.

Crazy person. Right, he's crazy. You don't even have his number? I rectified that. I was DMing with him before. He was definitely one of those Like feel it out Because Nicky Smokes definitely is in that category

Of like you know 2am face times From the bar We had to feel it out for a little bit Also His mom definitely Made him feel like a loser he just didn't pick up on it His mom was probably like it's just a game Relax

And like if you understand that She's like you're being a loser he just didn't pick up on it his mom was probably like it's just a game right right and like if you understand that it's like she's like you're being a loser right now that can't be the first time he's called her after a bills mom tell me i'm not a loser yeah it's he he's a weirdo i like him i don't i can't i don't know what to say people people don't like him i I like Nicky Smokes. I think we need to cherish every moment with him because full send is going to come knocking soon. Oh, yeah. Or he'll be getting dragged out of a stadium and something might slip out of his mouth. Yeah.

Well, Jerry also was trying to get him to do something really bad. Jerry kept texting him being like, because the Dolphins lost so much, you have to do something crazy to make this trip work. He's diabolic. Yeah, you know when Jerry is like, is the intellect in the pairing? Yeah. This made me like Nicky Smokes more. Yeah. That I was in his corner more so.

Oh, absolutely. If he'll ever accept me as a friend again, I'm back on. And here's the thing. As much as you can help a career here he won't take you back no no no fuck you a rat yeah brennan you got pranked by tommy walker no i got pranked by my mom and my sister yeah i told him i was going to get steaks to make them yesterday was my mom's birthday so i was going to make her some steaks on the grill and while i was out buying the steaks they put a rubber snake on the grill and they sat on the deck and waited for four hours until i opened the grill up and there was a rubber snake in there

scared the shit out of me because i am very scared of snakes and balloons and mousetraps yeah it was a good scream. Balloon? Another good scream. Ah! That was genuine. That was real. It was rough. That scream is awesome. Oh, man.

She curled it up perfectly, too. It was... They've always pranked me like that. I don't prank them, but they prank me. So they got me pretty good. Oh, man. She curled it up perfectly, too. They've always pranked me like that. I don't prank them, but they prank me. So they got me pretty good. I would have done the same shit. Yeah. What if there was a balloon in there?

What are you talking about balloons? Same sound? The popping? The presence of balloons. The potential for them to pop and make a loud noise at all times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got to have you watch the movie Up. You're going to fucking lose your mind.

Yeah. You are a good pranky. I'm a good pranky, yeah. Yeah. I never see it coming. So you got out of here in a hurry Friday. Yes. Were you mad at us?

Was I mad at you? No, no, no, no, no. I was just anxious. I was anxious before the show started yeah i was like i told big cat before the show started i'm i'm i've got anxiety today and i don't know why and then that show happened like that was the worst possible show that could have happened that day yeah i hate it when i wake up anxious and it's mousetrap day it's just a bad day to wake up anxious that's all and i was already on the edge and god damn it mark i found one on the couch but it's it was so much fun i was it was one of those

yaks i was just smiling all night just being like man that was fucking awesome the demon came out of titus oh yeah yeah i watched well i was shot he got me good i was telling a nigga at the bar uh friday night i was like i think i think part of the reason it came out is because coming on the show is difficult when you're an outsider. You guys all have inside jokes, and I sometimes don't know when to participate and when to sit back, and how do I fit into this whole picture going on here? When it's mousetrap day, and you're just fucking throwing mousetraps at people's dicks? Like, that's something I know how to fit in. You know how to do it. Like, I'm very comfortable in that scenario.

Finally, I wasn't thinking. It was just instinct, pure instinct. Brandon, do you think we should get you medicated, or do you think it would be worse at your job? No, I think I'm in desperate need of medical help. I couldn't do it. What if Heidi is not like Dan? Describe that for everyone. think they should get i'm in desperate need of medical help i like i couldn't what if not what if he is not like dan dan describe that for everyone it's not dan i'm fucked up all i couldn't

do a necessary reference of the night because guess what they put us in the sun in nebraska and i threw up all night i knew that was gonna be i threw up all night and now my migraines not only come with throwing up and everything they come with with paranoia. Now I've got a migraine thing, the last three, where if I sit down, it hurts more. So I just have to stand the whole time and I just walk around like a zombie. It's weird. I'm very fucked up. There's full body cat scans

that Kelly Keegs did that tells you everything that's wrong. I'd be afraid to look at that. I think I'd break it, though. I think I've got a lot going on. It was bad on Saturday. I knew we weren't even in the sun for that long because we went to the game and we had seats that had like a, it was like a club level. Yeah. And we were sitting there and they were about to do the national anthem.

I was like, all right, I'm going to go in and watch the game. And Brandon's like, I think I'm going to stay here. I was like, I know you are. And that's a smart choice. But that made you throw up? Yeah. Yeah. For hours.

Some people are like straightup allergic to the sun. I guess I am. You might be. I don't know. Why wouldn't you take anxiety medication, though? It's pretty common. I don't want to take medication for anything. Smoke some weed or boners.

Yeah, what about, like, a little weed pen? No. No? Don't do that. The last time I smoked weed, it made it worse. Yeah, weed will make it worse if you already like that. We started dosing you with Zoloft. You didn't know?

It's like a dog taking pills. Put in some bologna? Cheese, yeah. We're like, here Brandon, here's your cheese ball today. I'll go ahead and tell you, you put anything in bologna, I'll eat it. Okay, so maybe we should start dosing it and just that whatever you have to feel like you're taking medic medication but you know just guaranteed feel better roll it up in bologna give me the roll and i'm i'm good i'll take it are you worried about

losing boner no i mean i've already done what you need to do my penis is retired yeah had a great career what about diet and fitness that is the easy answer isn't it but i can't tj what do you i've been a member of a gym for three months and haven't seen it yet i feel better mentally why are you staring at me like physically because he loves you man yeah worried about you tj went 11 hours on stream the other night. That was insane, TJ. It's a fucking soldier. I had fun. I'll do it again soon. Did you beat the game? No.

No. Got to level 10 out of 14. It's a really hard game. It's very hard. I don't know how anybody has ever beaten it. And kids used to beat it like that. Did you beat it? I've never beaten Tyson.

I've gotten close many times, but I've never beaten Tyson. I never want to cheat. Isn't there a guy that stands in the crowd when you're supposed to punch Tyson? Yeah, but it's so fast. It's so fast. How far did you get? I've gotten to Sandman or

Super Macho Man like two or three times. You've never gotten to Tyson? I've passworded my way to Tyson. I've never earned my way to Tyson. Is Tyson actually the hardest? Yeah. Tyson's impossible. I thought someone said that Sandman's very hard too. Harder than Tyson. Yeah, I mean, they're all hard.

Stuck on Soda Popinski? I played Soda Popinski for four straight hours before it even got us. Oh my god. Four hours of Soda Popinski? Ball, ball, ball. Just ball, ball, two, steamroll with me. That's torture. Did you ever get past bald bull? Wait, bull bull?

Bald bull Once you beat Soda Pinsky, were you able to beat him again? Yes I beat him like five times And then every single time Just got destroyed by bald bull Can we see this motherfucker? Which one?

A bald bull You're just making sounds Bald bull is exactly what it is Can we see this motherfucker? Which one? Bald Bull. You're just making sounds. You never say it. Bald Bull is exactly what it is. Bald Bull. Bald Bull? The first time you face him, he's easy to beat because you can punch him in the stomach and he'll just wither away.

There's Bald Bull. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's a mean looking guy. Oh, he doesn't look that tough. I'd take him. The first time, he's not that tough, but then he comes back to the rematch, and he's a whole different ass.

Oh, yeah. Is this his eyebrow guy, or is that Honda? Piston Honda waves his eyebrows around. Wait, can I see all the levels? How far you were? Yeah. We'll see all the guys. Let's tier list them on who we'd want to talk to.

Yeah. Don Flamenco prop. Glass Joe. Glass Joe you can fuck. Von Kaiser would probably be a pretty good fuck. I went to Italian on Friday night. Didn't get spaghetti. Had a great meal.

I went to Italian on Friday night. You get spaghetti? I had steak. Oh, interesting. Brandon. What do you do? But my sons both had spaghetti Yeah, it's a little boy food Well, there's a little boy in all of us

Spaghetti last night There's a little boy in all of us? That's the thing people say, right? There's a little boy in all of us Well, literally you Well, me, I'm the only one, I hope Okay, so who's Soda is the pink motherfucker on the left

Wait, he's so pink His original name was Vodka Drunkinski He's Russian And wait so how many guys do you have left? Sandman's top left Don Flamenco too Who's top right with the blue gloves Super Macho Man

Who's top middle here And then Tyson So you only beat half of them I was on 10 out of 14 damn who's the genie guy that's great tiger great tiger yeah that's brutal is Tyson red um I think he's well the gloves are red yeah that's red yeah yeah TJ what's your mindset now are you like I want to continue playing this until I eventually beat it? I did play more on Saturday, just on my own. I feel like I know the game now, and I think if I play it enough times, I can make progress.

Yeah. I got something for you to do. Have you seen the guy who does the VR driving drunk? Yes. That's pretty cool. It looks like it's just a regular highway simulator. He's just drinking booze the whole time. Yeah.

Pull him up. It was very cool. Not drinking and driving, but this. This practicing drinking. It's actually a good, like, this is why you shouldn't drink and drive. Did you ever have the. He's having the time of his life. If you guys have the cops that come to school and talk to you about why you shouldn't drive drunk

and they'd have the special glasses. Yeah. They let us drive a fuel bug. You done that on the show? No. I don't think so. I'd like to revisit how accurate the goggles are. Is he listening to Hotel Run?

Well, someone tried to buy him, right? Wait, I trust this guy. He's kind of ripping. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. He's vibing out, though. He looks like he's having fun. They let us put the glasses, the drunk goggles on, and we drove

a beetle bug around this course in the parking lot, and after each time we were all like, that was fucking sick. Loved it. Big mistake. We should do that this week somebody tried to buy them right and they're crazy all right let me look already tried to buy them for you'll play bumper cars with uh they're really expensive like 500 bucks drunk goggles goggles strap on the drunk goggles and play bumper cars that might not be that'll be blast. I think everybody would vomit.

Yeah. I think everybody would just. Drunk goggles. They're only true drunk goggles if I look hot to myself. Oh, I got. There's some for 125 bucks. Okay. Let's do it.

Drunk busters. Yeah, those ones. Totally wasted. I'll buy it right now. Wait, why am I making these Twilight versions? They're more drunk. More drunk. Totally wasted. I'll buy it right now. More drunk. We should drink and wear them.

Maybe it'll cancel out. Wait. For the next Yak basketball, what if we all have to have a pair of them? Oh, my God. No one would ever touch the ball. That would just be... All right, they're coming tomorrow. Yeah, all right. So book report tomorrow and then Wednesday?

Wasted Wednesday? Wait, tomorrow is our stories are due? Oh, no, no, no. That's Friday. Okay, Friday. Okay. I'll have to give a book report on our books that we both started. Yeah. Oh, the roaches

and the... Yeah. You can probably read a whole book in one night, right? No. No, I don't like reading. Reading sucks. I'm out Friday. I have to go to Missouri. Are you going, Kyle? Oh, I'm out Friday. I have to go to Pittsburgh. Whoa, for what?

Old friend meetup. Next week I'm- Just say boys night. Yeah, boys night. Boys night. Next week I'm out all week because of Surviving Barstool, but I think Sass is here? He is. Yeah.

Nice. I'm pissed that I'm missing him. I'm going to Missouri with- It's Missouri LSU with Dave, Chief, and Edward. And I was doing some Missouri research. Yeah. Murderer's Row of alumni. Yeah.

Good alumni. Good alumni. Go on. Think of just the most famous guy. Yeah. Barack Obama. No. I thought you were going to say.

The Rock. The Rock. No. Old Steve Austin. No, no. Donald Trump. Handsome. Leo DiCaprio.

Chris. Equivalents. Donald Trump. Oh, Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Oh. no no donald trump handsome leo dicaprio chris equivalents donald trump oh brad pitt they have cheryl crow and they have the guy that created beetle bailey i don't know if this is a murderer's row to be honest yeah crow the creator it was a crazy drop off after pit oh crow is now cheryl crow's i mean i can see where cheryl has a better one who ken state No, Sheryl Crow's. I mean, I can see where Sheryl Crow would be. Kent State has a better one. Who?

Kent State. Kent. Tom Berringer's pretty good. Next time, when you guys are reading Beetle Bailey tomorrow morning. Oh, Engineer of the Burj Khalifa. John Hamm. Chris Cooper's a good actor. John Hamm.

Oh, yeah. Wow. There's good actors at this school. Female astronaut, she's definitely. Kenneth Lay, Enron. Look at that. Yeah. Brad Pitt's too far down.

Although I guess it is in alphabetical order. The creator of Walmart? Tennessee Williams from Mississippi. Wow. Huh. Hmm. Did you guys see, as you were talking about little boys, Tennessee Williams for Mississippi Huh Wow Huh Hmm Did you guys see As you were saying Talking about little boys

Did you see Max Little Boy PFT Oh yeah Did you see No Oh it was awesome Kyle you as Careful You might have been upset

If this happened to you Kyle I think anybody would have been upset Who this happened to you, Kyle. I think anybody would have been upset. Who was there to be careful about? There was a little boy in all of us. Obsession. Shorter guys might be upset. Oh, it was a short thing. Missed it.

Nope. Got it. Fuck yeah! Dr. Wayne! Little! You! Small! That was amazing. Missed it Nope Got it Fuck yeah Dr. Wink Little You Small That was amazing

Now the context If you just watched this clip You'd be like How is Max not fired The context is They were little boying each other All afternoon Still

I wish they were He was doing to him Like we were just The whole afternoon We were talking about Big boy plays And little boy plays And it was just like Constant battle Back and forth little boy big boy and then yeah i don't

know how you recover after that you little small and do the head pat something the head pat head pat is max is such a good kyle was an armrest to a man in portland so i i do think about that guy often and i hate him Yeah Yeah He also Max We also kind of got in his head Because we were like You Because he was saying

How like Philadelphia Would fuck people up I was like You can't say that anymore Because you did nothing When Jay Besmirched your quarterback And Max like legitimately

Has that as his top regret In life But he should have Slapped Yeah that was The most agreeable thing Even in the moment He didn't even react at all.

Yeah. Yeah. So now he's got a little boy PFT. You, little, small. Oh. Oh. Oh. What?

It's funny to do once. That's all he had. He kept doing it, and he kept reading all the comments. He's like, oh, these guys are saying how short you are, and how big I am how tall I am I'm 6'8 you're what I wish we'd just done a wrestling move on him right there just fucking take him to the ground

what if he fucking kicked your ass I think he would have beat my ass he was huge yeah in his defense he was right yeah he was right god damn that's a small bag for a big boy though just to be like that's all I got on you. That's all he needed.

Yeah, I guess you're right. What could I have done? You could have kicked his ass. Sucked his dick standing up. He's been like, look at this. When little guys kick big guys out, it's not even like it's awkward. You just got to go for their ankles and they slowly fall. It doesn't look

oh nikki smokes did just text me and jerry said it's been 24 hours i'm good now i know i called you guys weasel rats but i'm willing to have my boys back lunch on me wait wait wait wait Pick him up on that. Wait. Watch on me. Goes from lifelong to 24 hours. But he also, like, what do you mean he's willing to have us back? Yeah. We're the ones. Yeah. You got to take him back.

I knew you two would follow. He didn't fuck up. You did. That was kind of condescending. Yeah, I'm willing to have my boys back. Yeah, you guys are back. Yeah. Don't worry anymore.

I kind of have to say yeah. I know you guys didn't mean to bet on the bills. Yeah. All right, I'm going to say yeah. Let's get back together, boys. I can see Jerry holding out, though. Yeah, me too. One heartbeat.

You should suggest very fancy and expensive restaurants. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it has to be in, like, Tokyo. Fly me out. You want to go to Labor and Ardenne? Fuck it. Nicky smokes.

What's going on in our Yak Fantasy League? I checked this morning, I swear, but remind me. Oh, yeah, Chase is sick. Of course. He looked like he was was gonna puke the other day yeah well at least we didn't put him like this this big cube and we all followed him in there yeah

with a bunch of money he touched we all didn't oh wow Jerry replied text message not gonna do it for me sorry Nikki whoa I have to take this back now no you're out too. Actually, I stand with Jerry not enough.

Jerry might actually think like, it was like, Jerry's definitely in the grouping of like, if you call someone a rat weasel, they're like, I will never talk to you. Jerry also, yeah, he also caught an extra one about like his stupid bets. Yeah, stupid bets. I think he called them dog shit. Let me see those scores again. Who scored 38? That person should have to drive to the Super Bowl as well.

Oh, wow. Look at me. VP of football operations. I'm fucking crushing it. You got two left to play. Oh, my God. Justin'm fucking crushing it. You got two left to play. Oh, my God. Justin Fields finally came through. Can we see overall?

I'm not last anymore, am I? People did worse. Well, you were. Dead last. Actually, with no wins. Wait. You had the... I switched my entire team.

Yeah, you had the good team. I know. When we did the draft. Go back. Oh, yeah, that's right. So, what team did you lose? Oh, my goodness. Oh, you're done.

Oh, you lost this week, too. Oh. To your old team. To your old team. Oh, my God. Yeah, you're driving to Vegas. Damn. That's brutal.

That's fine. We'll put a car seat in the back. That's fine. That works No Frank can just hold the baby Oh Frank will hold your baby Yeah

Frank will hold the baby He's probably safer than a car seat honestly 12 hours Yeah Well Just holding her baby for 12 hours The hold the baby challenge Be fine

Go viral on TikTok 12 hour live stream of him just holding the baby Yeah I'd watch every second i would love to see him hold a baby subathon talk to a baby he got really cute gifts for casey for her baby shower frank did yes we had a baby shower and he everyone was like who got these this is really cute and it was frank oh my god yeah really thoughtful, like clever onesies and all kinds of stuff. Yeah.

So maybe he would. I don't know. By the way, this is the second, third, third to last Monday that we'll be here. Wow. Almost done. Yeah. Almost have the new office. Wait, do I have that right?

No, second, right? This week. 23rd. This week, next week and the 16th okay 23rd is when we should be in have you figured out how you're going to cut the ribbon oh yeah fuck i forgot we have to get a ribbon i think we should do a ribbon for every room yeah you know small ribbons big ribbons Maybe smash champagne on every room. Every single one. Like a boat. What's the Jewish glass break? Mazel Tov.

That they do at weddings? Step on it, yeah. Yeah, I want to do that. I want to do that so bad. Just do every single different religion. Every tradition. Offend every religion. Yeah.

For every room. Yeah, we're circumcising mook at hours. We're going to baptize the room. Yeah, that's going to be awesome. I'm ready. This fucking set sucks. It'll be nice to be able to see everyone again, too. Yeah.

In a big circle. Yeah. What's it going to be? A big circle. Really? Well, it's going to be looking like the one that we used to have. Okay. Where it's staggered.

Where everyone can see each other. So we can truly, yeah. Is there a big screen behind us? I think so. Do we have a concept of the Yak studio at all? Maybe play Yak basketball the first day, too. Probably. I'm so excited for the basketball court.

It's a circle? I feel like there's a half. No, it's a full circle. And the camera rotates like uh you joke but it's a brian kelly video every every yak is going to be like the smoking session from that 70s show yes if you have seizures that you can't watch the act anymore nfl live has the circle or they did didn't they didn't once you like turn into like nfl shows and there's like i i have a recollection of like espn having their back like two people had their backs to, I don't know.

I think you were high. No, I was watching football, something you don't do a lot of, Brandon. That's probably what it was. Ouchie. That's probably what it was. Watch a lot of football. You're probably busy going on a little boat ride or sleeping. The ride was long, the boat was little.

You don't watch football? I watch ball. They're calling him Boxcore Brandon. Oh, no. He's getting tagged with that. I'm trying to fight it. If I've got to get here at 9 o'clock in the morning, if I've got to get here by 8 and I've got to leave my house at 6,

some games are getting chopped off. Boxcore Brandon. Apparently Zach Wilson played well last night. Good 6, some games are getting chopped off. Box score, Brandon. Apparently Zach Wilson played well last night. Good for him. Well, you should know. The box score showed. Oh, my God. What a performance.

Garrett Wilson, did you know about him? Yeah. He was a first-round pick. One of the ones, yeah. Dalvin Cook. Not good. Yeah, but I'm not going to disrespect him. He's a legend.

No, I like him. But, yeah, maybe he doesn't have the burst the more you'll you'll talk shit on a player soon enough never have never will you'll never unless they do something that is uh off the field that i don't agree with okay i've never heard you talk shit about ray rice i honestly haven't his low His balance was incredible. Pacheco is a Rutgers boy too, right? Yeah. Wow, DJ.

Red to red. Vineland? So he went red to red to red. He's never played. Yeah, nine red. Wait, Vineland's red? Yeah. Yeah, I heard him say that.

DJ, we got a... It's rivalry week. It is rivalry week. I asked you if you wanted to go. You said no. Yeah, that heard him say that. DJ, we got a... It's rivalry week. It is rivalry week. I asked you if you wanted to go. You said no. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah, immediately. Before we could finish the question.

Yeah, no, that sounds right. Rivalry week. Wisconsin minus 14. Thoughts? Probably smash you, yeah. We're going to smash your fucking ass. You fucking wish. Is it Madison or...

Yeah. Yeah, no, we're going to smash you. You going to any Mississippi State games? No, Yeah, no, we're going to smash you. You going to any Mississippi State games? No, I don't get to. I just got to. I don't get to. We were supposed to.

Maybe you can go to your second favorite team's games. Sometimes they play. We were supposed to go to a Mississippi State game. Yeah, yeah, and I just got alpha'd the fuck out of the – That's all right. Contract will be up soon. The Cowbells are so annoying. No, they're not. They're so annoying.

They're a beautiful sound. Everything is right about college football. Going from Duke, Notre Dame to a bunch of people just doing cowbells, I had to turn it off. Okay. Well. It's also because I wasn't covering the spread. But I had to turn it off. I told you not to bet that.

Yeah, I know. I know you did. You told me not to bet that. TJ, what do you want? You want to make a bet? Yeah. What do you want to bet that. Yeah, I know. I know you did. You told me not to bet that. TJ, what do you want? You want to make a bet? Yeah. What do you want to bet? On the spread?

Make him stream a video game. An 11-hour live stream of Mike Tyson's punch-out. Do you want to do a tattoo bet? I already have one this week. Oh, God. Here's Commander's. I'm not going to win. Oh, you have a tattoo.

Am I going to have to get it? Yeah. No. Well, I'm going to get it uh yeah no well i'm gonna get it on my body um okay yeah what do you have to get yeah whatever i want so is that the worst game to ever have a tattoo bet on it that was the whole reason we did it in like july we're like let's make it interesting and now here we are the commanders look good yeah but that's i see i just have to spin zone it where it's like, look, it's like USA-Russia, 16 versus one seed.

No one believes in us. Got that dog in us. If we lose, everyone's like, well, they were expected to lose. If they win, it's like that's embarrassing for PFT. Have you thought about what you want your tattoo to be? I've thought about it. I don't know. It's going to be small.

Pot leaf? A little pot leaf? So can you get a tattoo on your wrist and not have it be a chick tattoo? You're a prisoner. You're a German prisoner. On the side. On the side but not the wrist. Oh, God.

Because I don't want to get – I've been thinking about it more. If I get one that's very visible, my kids are going to be like, what's that? What's that? Now I want one. So it's like I could get one about it more. Like if I get one, that's very visible, my kids are going to be like, what's that? What's that? Now I want one. So it's like, I could get one underneath my watch. Is that part of the bed?

It has to be visible. No. Yeah. Well, I mean, it doesn't know it does not have to be visible. So I could like get one on my ass. It could be right there.

Steph has the tattoo like on his inner arm. Like that's kind of hidden a little bit, but like right under my watch, I wear a watch every day. So it's like no one would ever. And it kind of hidden a little bit. But like right under my watch I wear a watch every day so it's like no one would ever. And it's like an elite Harvard club. Like don't they get tattoos under their watches? George W. Bush

has one. He does? Get it on your nutsack. When's the last time somebody just looked at your nutsack for a while? If you have a tattoo you're going to get a lot of people gazing. Yeah. I'll have to show all you. That's true. You should get a lot of people gazing yeah i'll have to show all you it's true you get a tramp stamp no yeah why are you shaking your head kate it's because my kid notices it already and it's the worst feeling in the world yeah you have a real trashy one yes yes Isn't it a shamrock? The Celtic shamrock. Oh, okay. That's Odelco. Yeah.

It is. That is so bad. The stem ends right where my butt cracks. Yes. Yeah, my cousin has a butterfly in the same spot. That would be funny if I had a butterfly tramp stamp. Yeah. That thing would pop, too.

That would pop out. I might have to do that. Yeah, butterfly. So, yeah, I don't know. Maybe shoulder? No? I feel like that's the tramp stamp for guys. Really? But no one would see it.

You are talking like a defeated man already. I mean, the bears are so bad, dude. What about like in your belly button? Oh. Like in the crevice. Reggie Miller. Oh, what about this? Reggie Miller.

No, Kevin Durant has the business tats. Business tats. Big Cat, what about something you don't plug your lip in? Oh, I could do the lip. Doesn't Reggie Miller have like the sun around his belly button? Oh, yeah. Reggie Miller does have a bad tattoo. Really?

He's got like the sun. Wait, doesn't? No, he's got a really bad. Reggie Miller does have a bad tattoo. I forgot. Really? I thought that was a girl tattoo. Does Cisco have one as well around his belly button i think so swirl swirly sun or something yeah that can't be the

only one you owe it oh so bad why would you do that kevin durant's are pretty crazy his business tax yeah because it looks like he doesn't have any When he's playing basketball Yeah and then he takes off his shirt And he has a million Yeah Wait what do you mean business tats Because you don't see him on his arms Like if you search it

It's called business tats Can't be seen in a Yeah look see He doesn't have any on his arms But then it looks like He's wearing a little corset Like a cute little Those are business tats

Oh that's interesting Washington National's amazing he never got one on his arms I know those are for buckets buckets only arms are for buckets only that's I'd like to keep my arms for buckets you see a lamello got some heat yeah His tats are something. The red ink, which is a bold move. What do you get? He's got a lot of tats, right? They're horrible. Did you see that like Hornets TikTok? No.

It's just dunking on the Hornets. They're like they're the first like YouTube team in the NBA. Oh, every one of their players just. Oh, no. Whoa. Hmm. A rare. Oh, no. Whoa. Hmm. A rare. Rare.

Yeah, it's bad. What's up with that? Yeah, what's that zesty Jamaican dude? I forget his name, but he was Danny. Do you see his live stream? Wait, the zesty, the white Jamaican? Caribbean dude? Yeah, I love him.

On the Hornets. Oh, no. I thought you guys were talking about the white Jamaican singer. See Mr. Beast is on the Hornets jersey no I thought I thought you guys were talking about not a white singer see mr. Beasley's on the Hornets Jersey now what yeah his food company he should buy them who's got the coolest tattoos the bad tattoos are are easy to think of but who's someone that you're like you're any good one I don't I don't like that Samoans with the shoulder tattoos. Yeah. The Samoans with the shoulders.

Oh, yeah. New Zealand. Tua Taivasa. You know the UFC guy? He's got good ones? I think he's like pretty Samoan, but he- Sounds like he is. Yeah. Yeah.

Something. You know Tua's middle name is Donnie? What? No. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's Donnie. His middle name is Donnie? What? No Yeah Isn't that crazy? That's Donnie His first name is like crazy It's very long and then his middle name is Donnie

Yeah Yeah those are awesome That's cool So his whole ass is also tattooed Oh that's cool It goes like through I feel like a full sleeve is pretty cool I'm into full sleeves

Do you have any tattoos? I have no tattoos, no. I would say rugby guys with the thick legs, and then they have right where their short shorts go. Oh, yeah. Have you guys been following rugby at all? No. A little bit.

I've been seeing the clips. What's going on? Fiji is nice with it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I just mean in general. Just saying generalities. Fiji is nice with it yeah oh yeah that's mean in general just saying generalities Fiji is nice with it South Africa as well

I mean it's insane New Zealand to watch yeah I like their like tribal war cries at the beginning the haka yeah the haka

is that New Zealand that does that it doesn't really work though sometimes I think there was a recent were we playing the FIBA games or something and they did the haka

against Team USA and we won by like we should do the Haka before we move into the new office as a company stand outside and do the Haka yes I'm down the Haka though yeah like that's something you what was that oh here we go so the Yaks studio is, if you pause it. This is the Yaks studio? No, that's not the Yaks studio. That's the back of the PMT studio.

That is. This? Oh, sweet. And then to the right of that is the gambling cave. And then above is like the main content area and that lofted area? There's a bunch of desks right there in the above part. And correct me if I'm wrong. Won't that always be live?

That will always be live. And then where the person, I assume it's Pete, so across the court is the golf simulator in that there's basically like a big garage. Great hand gesturing. Are we sure that's wide enough for a basketball court? Well, the whole court's not done. It goes all the way to the pillars.

That's half the court. That's half court-like width-wise? Those are the pillars. What are you saying? You're saying a corner three would be? I'm saying. Well, yeah, it's like a high school. So it's not wide enough, right?

Well, no, I think it's a high school three-point line. It's not going to be NBA three. Scrap everything. Yeah, you're right. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying. And then where this person is standing right behind him is the full kitchen. It goes past where the golf simulator is through that wall.

That's where all the green screen studios and everything. So there's a shitload of stuff. Brennan, I know you were hoping to run full court uh basketball five on five basketball i'm not saying the length wise i'm saying the width wise yeah and that's what i'm saying i'm saying that like i know that you i'll be in you didn't want to just like go throw a couple shots up you were hoping to get like full regulation five on five four three and four hour runs is what i'd like to have yeah yeah for sure so it's got to be a huge disappointment what do we say over under first injury uh first day first

day yeah god damn it i think i am gonna sick i'm going to buy that's awesome we know that is that the action or the game why would we have six tv we're gonna have six tvs yes okay oh yeah that is the Yaks. I have a render of what they're building. I don't know if we want to. So the Yaks studio will be able to look out onto the basketball court. That's super cool. And we're going to be wired.

So if it's like, oh, someone wants to go do this, it won't be like we can just. I assume TJ press a button and see the camera from the wide view. That's what I've asked. Are we going to have cameras on at all times? Yeah, pretty much. I think we're behind the YAC studio. We don't have a view of the basketball court. I talked to Pete the other day.

I got upgraded. The Mark Titus show, I got upgraded. I don't think you did. No, I did. We're still in the same studio. Yeah, for mostly sports. But he gave me one of the other studios. I was originally going to do my show. You have a separate separate studio i have a separate studio for my show that's like bigger and um it's got more so then we're still in the same i can have ownership of our studio

then no no that's still gym that's still yeah yeah still can we show the rendering let's show everything we got we also are gonna do i think we're gonna get like a big um cage for all the basketballs and just have spider have the key so that way people can't just shoot basketballs in the middle of the day yeah uh they'll be like shoot they'll be open gym hours early in the morning late at night. But, yeah, it won't be just like, hey, we're trying to do the yak and people are playing like four and four. It looks like a college rec center. Yeah.

There's going to be shit going on all the time. A full facility. I want a juice bar. Oh, okay. Do you think? Yeah, all right. Do you think that gym will be a flurry of activity early in the morning or like in Viva hours, like five to seven?

I think it'll be like hours. Yeah, like after like four will probably be the time when it's going crazy. I think we should put a bounty on full court makes. Well, no. So what my plan was going to do, we'll do a bounty for like every Friday everyone gets a shot. Like you pay for your bucks for five shots and whoever makes the first full quarter yeah roll it over that's cool I

like that idea yeah wait this looks like the Jedi Council that's what I told him to do I was like if you guys you guys are Star Wars, Star Wars? Yeah. Star Wars guys, Jedi Council. That looks awesome. No problem. What's your favorite Jedi? Is it Kit Fisto?

No, I'm a Mace Windu guy. Shocking. I had them specifically do the carpet. I was like, make it look pretty- He's a Jedi? Yeah. The first runner they sent was a white carpet. Yeah, it was white. I was like, that's a disaster. We're crap. I was like, make it look pretty. Yeah. The first runner they sent was a white carpet. Yeah, it was white.

I was like, that's a disaster. I was like, we can't. Every bodily fluid was on the carpet. Were those lockers? Dirt floor. It does look like a cool locker room. Yeah, do we have to walk around the logo? Yeah.

Oh. Put up a velvet robe. Yeah. True. So disrespectful. Great point. Anyone try to step on it I'm so excited I keep forgetting we're going there

I know because we've been here for long enough That it's like alright this is it Getting here is a pain in the ass I'm excited just to be closer I'm going to be so far I don't want to get a scooter Same actually Get the Fasoli scooter That thing is fun I'm going to be so far. I don't want to get a scooter. Same, actually, yeah.

Yeah, get the Fasoli scooter. Yeah, that thing is fun. Yeah. He whips around in that thing. Does he wear a helmet? All the time. Oh, yeah. So they don't have to wear helmets on motorcycles out here?

Have y'all noticed that? Y'all don't get on the highway? Every state's different. Yeah. It's kind of like fuck around and find something. They'll be driving motorcycles 90 miles an hour. It's got to be the dumbest thing you could possibly do. I hate it. Well, I was thinking if you crash a motorcycle at 70 miles an hour, does it matter?

No. Do they have the... Just with the helmet or closed cask? I haven't paid enough attention to the motorcycles weave in and out of our state here. Yeah. They'll ride the... The lane splitting? I like that.

They'll ride the dotted lines. Yeah, yeah. Cool guy move. That was a big time cool guy move. Anytime anyone does that to you, you're like, damn. Wish I could be that guy right now. Also, it would be fun. I don't want to ever find myself in this spot,

but to run from the cops on a motorcycle would be very fun. Yeah. Just being able to go places they can't go. Yeah, down alleyways. Yeah, like in parks and stuff. Someone's backyard. You just rip across a park. I think guys who successfully evade cops and chases,

they had such a high rush from it, they have to do it again. Yeah. It's an addiction. The crash after that is so painful. I'd agree. Not the actual crash. Free soloing. Yeah, to be like, I'm flooring it and I'm going and then you finally get away.

Nothing competes. And Chicago is built with the alleys and everything, like you were saying. It's made for running from the cops. You get the itch pretty bad. And they call off the helicopter in LA. That's when you know you got them. If you lose the helicopter in LA, that's when you know you got them. Call off.

Yeah, if you lose the helicopter, you're really good. You're good. You're good, because once the helicopter's on you, it has to be like a 99% chance. Those guys got to be really good, though. I couldn't follow somebody in a helicopter. You don't think? Yeah. If I was in a helicopter, I would.

Well, you don't know how to fly a helicopter. You're so far up, you don't really have to follow them. Yeah, but it would be really crazy. I also couldn't because I wouldn't be able to get the helicopter off the ground. No, right. Right. I don't feel, we're not giving the helicopter guys enough credit. They're chasing a person.

No, and the guy that's using the spotlight. Yeah, but when they use the infrared, that's so badass. That's cheating. That is cheating. That should not be allowed. What is, oh, you can just see the body. Yeah, they can see it like through the woods when they pop up. I feel like if you're in the woods, it should be more of a fair game.

Right. There should be laws. Right. You've got to even the playing field. Did you see the video of the guy shooting the pigs in Texas? Black Hog Down? Was that what it was? I just saw that the European mind can't comprehend Texas,

and it's just a dude on top of his car. And people are pretty torn on if it's feral hogs are a problem feral hogs are a problem i i they they're definitely in the camp of you can shoot them i'm gonna have to pay somebody 500 to shoot them off my property wait really yeah i gotta i gotta hire blake miller so i can come down there and shoot my hogs they like kill people they like leave people stranded and well they fuck your yard up and then yeah they're mean. Feral. It's like what white girls want to be.

They want to be those fucking hogs. Feral hogs. Yeah. That's like going to... I think that's the last term a woman would want to be called. No, they want feral hogs. Do you not remember that trend where they're like, I'm going feral. But hogs.

Not hogs. Not the... Baby, you're looking like a hog what up i was in college you were a slam hog if you were like oh god slam pig slam hog it's not it's not an insult by any means it feels like it is that's that is horrible yeah it's pretty bad were you friends with any, like, slam pigs? Are you more than friends with slam pigs? I've never heard this term. I've never heard a guy say a whore.

It was Pittsburgh. I never heard it at all. Were your friends friends with a slam pig? I was in Pittsburgh, and you had a chipped ham pussy. You were a slam hog. Say that again. Chipped ham. Chipped ham. Chipped.

You guys are from that area? That's a real beat cooch, yeah. They get their ham sliced real thin. It's a real mess. A chipped ham pussy. Aipped ham. You guys are from that area? That's a real beat cooch, yeah. They get their ham sliced real thin. Chipped ham. Slam pig. Yeah. Slam pig. These were Pittsburgh terms.

Oh, God. Oh, Pittsburgh. Pumping and dumping. The most heinous terms for women. Only saw it after for pumping and dumping. Andrew Tate could have just cut a corner and just used slam pig and probably would have gotten his point home better. Yeah.

He's like, do you want a key? A key unlocks a door. And you want to just say slam pig and probably would have gotten his point home better yeah he's like do you want like a key a key unlocks a door and you want to just say slam pig slam hog chip ham yeah chip tan i don't like that yeah it's tough that is a pittsburgh that's a pittsburgh guys chip tan it's delicious i like very thin sliced ham. Not for a vagina. Chipped ham. That guy's down bad. So is he like dying? Hopefully. That's crazy because he's so vaccinated.

Yeah, I know. He went 0 for 3 on his parlays yesterday. Took every single one of them. His head wasn't in it. Sick, I know. Sick. Nick, I know. Sick. Nick, you want to do the High Noon ad? Yep.

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Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. That's highnoonspirits.com. Get the Game Day Pack. I like the pear and cranberry and black sherry and grapefruit. Why did you make that interactive this time? They asked us to be more fun with the ads. So I turned it into a little bit of trivia.

There you go. We were off the Nooners on Friday. You guys were? I had to leave the bar. I got a little too tipsy. Yeah. We hit our home bar, Declan's. Yeah.

We took it over from White Sox Dave. Yeah. Nice. Not his bar anymore. Nice. Our bar. So are you driving with White Sox Dave? Yeah.

White Sox Dave, Ed. Word. Word. That's going to be great. Chief. We're getting some great stories out of that. I think so, too. Yeah.

When are you out? Friday morning. Friday morning. Gotcha. It's a big so, too. Yeah. When are you out? Friday morning. Friday morning. Gotcha. It's a big game, too. They're playing LSU. LSU. Yeah, and Mizzou is on.

5-0. I've already picked out my outfit. Some college football experts predicted this. I picked out my pants and shirt are going to be laid out. You predicted that Nick was going to go to the LSU-Mizzou game? Yeah. No, I predicted Mizzou would be 5-0 at this point. I'm the only one in America.

Can we have TJ go ahead and pull that clip up? No, I predicted Mizzou would be 5-0 at this point. I'm the only one in America. TJ, go ahead and pull that clip up. How did you guys do on your bets this weekend? We do choices. We're not allowed to do picks. I went 6-3. I went 2-1. I'm 6-3 on the year. I'm 3-0.

I don't know on the year. This guy is fucking hot. I'm red hot hot how are you not tailing titus if you're if you gamble well i'm just trying to i don't know nine and oh i'm nine and oh i think he's gonna slip up and i'm gonna catch him but it's hard right now he's it's almost impossible so nine and oh i mean easy yeah you didn't even sweat. Does anybody consider the fact that maybe he's picking heavy favorites? I pick three road teams. Why would everybody do that? I pick three road teams in conference play.

Three road conference. That's pretty hard to do. That takes guts. Yeah. And Oregon was down. Yeah. They were down 6-0. Penn State was down in Northwestern.

Yeah, Penn State was down. They had to come back. No problem. But I saw that happening. Have you thought of making a mortal choice, Brandon? A mortal choice? Yeah. That sounded...

Yeah, imagine if you're going to kill yourself. Okay. I haven't thought about it in regards to this. Oh, okay. Other things, sure. Yeah, sure. I want to start dosing you with zoloft i think you'd be happier man i really do i think you'd be so much i think a lot of your other afflictions would go away yeah how many other afflictions do i have buddy irritability narcissists i don't have

irritability emerald brandon walker's not narcissistic Hep A, B, and C I wish we could put a camera in your mind I'm not getting rid of that Can you get off the alphabet of Hep Can you get all the Heps Hep Q Gotta catch them all Hep Z

That's herpes I'm feeling happy today Hep F That's herpes I'm feeling happy today Hep F Would you take a pill that could cure racism? I wouldn't need it Brandon though is going to be one of those guys That he's going to go in hospice care

And he'll die the next day Jesus Christ You're right We won't have to spend that much time You're talking about in old age Are you talking about like – We won't have to spend that much money. Are you talking about in old age or like in the next few weeks? In old age. In old age. We won't have to worry about – like he's got six months to live.

Boom. Dead. All right. I'm out. We won't have to bill. We might just rent the hospice. We wouldn't even get – we wouldn't even be able to get like our rubber band. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Strong. Walker strong. Yeah. We just won't get our rubber band. Yeah, right. Strong. Walker Strong. We won't get to say goodbye. What would they say? Walker Strong would work. Walker Strong. Brandon's boys.

I like that. I should probably go ahead and get them pre-made. We should start a charity once Brandon dies. Brandon's boys. It's just us. It's the little boy inside you. There's water fountains. No, no, no.

We're just hydration awareness. Anywhere the sun comes out, we put a water fountain. Brandon's boys. We'll make sure this thing that got Brandon will never get anyone else. Dehydration. This thing that took him down down can't let it happen again i can't believe you puked after it was hot in your defense it was 95 degrees when you're like heating up like that you think it's just the heat or do you does it like make your anxiety okay so

it's it's the heat plus lights plus the stress of knowing that i'm in heat. Not in heat. If I get in the sun, I immediately start worrying about... My theory is it's more of an anxiety thing than an actual medical afflict... Correct. Oh God, it's hot out. It's going to happen. It's already started. It sounds like you have to go outside. If you just see that it's a 95 degree day

and you know you have to go outside, it's already happened. Correct. And it's heat stroke. You've had heat stroke, right? Yeah, multiple times. And they say the more it happens, the more prone you are to it. Yeah.

So, yeah, I think an anti-anxiety pill, what would be the harm? Like, what would be like the. I don't really want to get. Can we get a doctor to get him some Zoloft? Yeah, I can't really. No. I don't need any Zoloft. What about like a cooling suit? Why do you say that?

What are the side effects? You do. But you need something. Well, I don't need any Zoloft. What about like a cooling suit? Why do you say that? You do. But you need something. Well, I'm good. You're not. A Valium? No, I'm good. What is this? I want to see you at your peak.

I'm pretty good. Like right now, you're very anxious. You're weird. Just went off for a while about how you're not. God damn it. Oh! Boy, did that make me want to. I know.

So bad. We should put it on the wheel. Yeah. What Nick did, the little mouse. That was so fun. He's done that before. Yeah. Yeah, throw that on the wheel.

Mouse trap. Don't put mouse trap on the wheel. Yeah, it's funny. That was funny. It is funny. I want to watch. The wheel is too wide right now. No, yeah, put mouse trap. I felt like I was back in, like, seventh. That was funny. It is funny. I want to watch the movie. The wheel is too wide right now. No, yeah, put my arms around it.

I felt like I was back in like seventh grade. I know. It was so much fun. Yeah, seventh grade was just constantly fearing that you were going to get a little bit hurt. Like spear tackled or fucking decked out of nowhere. Yeah. Wet willied. Wet willied.

I hated getting wet willied. Handsome. Noogie. Wet willie is crazy because it's really bad for the giver as well. Yeah. This kid Mark in my school used to have. You ever do a dry Willie? No.

I've had a dry Willie for years. You put your finger in your ear, get all the earwax. No. Oh, dude. Oh, yeah. What? It's fucked up. That's nasty.

It's fucked up. I never said it wasn't fucked up oh did he get him oh James Franklin didn't want anything to do with that I don't think he actually went in we were talking about the noogie did you guys see the story of Marquette King he said that he got cut from the Raiders

because one night he was out with two girls and Mark Davis the owner of the raiders saw him and was like i see you and then marquette king went over and gave him a soft noogie not like the hard noogies he got when he got bullied in school and he says that he probably got cut because of that because he noogied the owner which i agree with yeah what did how did he respond in the moment by cutting him i don't yeah? You gotta watch out who you noogie. Nate noogie Dave.

Post hair transplant. Wait, Nate noogie Dave? Yeah, you can find the clip. And it was like a natural noogie that Nate was doing to him. And then Dave's punishment was he got to noogie Nate for 24 hours. Where did the noogie originate?

I don't know. It's like a random, just rub my knuckles in your... It's such a emasculating... Oh, it's the worst sensation. You hate it? That and getting poked. I don't think a noogie hurts.

You ever get noogied hard? It's like a poke. That Dave noogied Nate so hard that his finger, the skin came off his finger. Is, is... Look at this. Watch this.

I mean, it was shocking.'re welcome lebron is selling oh my god that might be the riskiest noogie of the time what was the situation here nate was fighting on the run down for something and he walked off and he just no you know but was he getting clowned or something? You can see. Had y'all discussed noogying yet or he just did it? What? Had noogying come up?

No, I don't think so. And David just got in hair plugs in that spot. Maybe go back a little bit again. Don't be LeBron. Be a team player. I love Washington. We'll show you how to make the videos on Twitter. I can show you.

If you make a floating head video with him, that'll be awesome. We can go to the White House. We love the White House. I love David and Nate. Two and a half hours. I love David and Nate, too, because Nate is... We can go to the cafe car together. We can get sandwiches.

He's trying a little boy. I'm 5'7", too, Dave. LeBron, thin-skinned bitch, is selling. Thanks for having me, Dave. You're welcome. LeBron is selling. Oh! On the hairpin!

Oh, my God! That's the rundown. That was so good. The rundown's over. That was the most disrespectful thing. That was the most disrespectful thing. Oh, man. Man.

All-time moment. Back when Barstool was Barstool. Yeah. When we noogied. Yeah, shit. I think it's noogie and then, like, the head pat, like, way down. Yeah, I think noogie might be the worst. We had this discussion the other day.

I think noogie is the worst. You think that's most disrespectful? Pantsing with dick and balls flopping out is an all-time funny move. Yeah. Yeah. But that's funny. That's an all-time funny move. I'm having, like having PTSD right now.

You're on a basketball court and you get it and they get the underwear too and you're just all flopped out. It is. You're at the YMCA and your parents have to pick you up so you have to wait around. No one cares how well you play after that. You immediately have to do the cover-up.

Cover-up late but your knees buckle. Cover-up both sides. When the penis is exposed so quickly, it recoils. Right. You know those party blowers? It rolls back in. And if you're playing a sport, you have athlete's dick,

which is all the blood goes to your heart, not your dick. So it's like, I'm running around with a Tic Tac out there. Yeah. There was a guy this weekend that viral photo. His pants got... Oh, yeah, that was very funny. They just went down, but he's wearing like little gray underpants.

He was getting arrested in Tennessee. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah. If you can find it, TJ, I think he tweeted it out. That was a big, big man. It was. Yeah, I'm excited to meet our new coworker. He was wearing briefs too, Brandon, so to your point...

Look at this. Yeah, brief guy just like you. Because he's handcuffed, the cop has to help his pants back up. He's got the flattest back of head I've ever seen. Kind of looks like he's got a piece. These are the kind of guys that wear briefs.

Yeah. I mean, you're right. That's all sack. That's all sack. That's a lot of balls. I told you all, long balls. That's all sack. You're right. That's a lot of balls. How does that happen? I told you all, long balls. Long balls. I wasn't kidding.

Do you look like that when you're in your? Just a lot of sack. The sack has increased. So much sack. Is there a back story to that picture or no? This guy was getting arrested at the Tennessee game. I think we can pretty much fill it all in. Tennessee football, that's it.

That's pretty much it. Just a guy in Tennessee football. Nick, what do you think about Edge in AEW? Oh, good question. I can't say Edge. Adam Copeland. There we go. Let's talk about that.

It's awesome that he got his song. I didn't really like the cut scene before he came out. I didn't think it was necessary. It wasn't. Yeah, I'm excited. He's with Sting and came out. I didn't think it was necessary. It wasn't. Yeah, I'm excited. He's with Sting and Darby. Well, we don't know that. They shook hands.

He just came and rescued them. Yeah. Yeah. And he beat up Luchasaurus. Of course he beat up Luchasaurus. You know that. And Nick Wayne. But he didn't get his hands on Christian yet.

No, but Christian handed him the chair, and he wanted him to hit Darby. Tell me about Darby. Darby's a skateboarding gothic boy. What? He's half skull. He's about 130 pounds. He's awesome. And he throws his body around at people.

He's a 130-pound skater? Uh-huh. And he's half skeleton, half boy. Half skeleton, half boy? What do you want me to say? He's half skeleton, half boy. What half skeleton half boy what do you want me to say he's half skeleton half boy but like he's yeah that's the only and his finishing move is called the coffin drop he stands on the top rope and just throws his self backwards on top of you is that is wrestling getting too like fantastical and not yeah half skeleton he is the least fantastical guy that there's been in a while.

You know, like fantasy. The Undertaker was 30 years ago. He's half-skeleton. He wears skeleton makeup. He wears skeleton makeup. He wears skeleton makeup. What was that? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was him?

No, that's him getting... His thing is he just gets fucked up. He just gets fucked up a lot. Wait, his finishing move is to get really fucked up. No, that's him getting fucked up. No, that was him getting... His thing is... He just gets fucked up. He just gets fucked up a lot. Wait, his finishing move is to get really fucked up. No, that's not his finishing move. So, in wrestling, getting fucked up makes you more... The guy who gets fucked up is more... Well, it's a desirable trait because you make your opponents look better.

Yeah. You put them over. I think it's more impressive. It is impressive. I like people like Mick Foley. But that's why people think he's not going to have a long career because he does this a lot. He's going to die. He's half skeleton, half boy.

I like Darby now. You like him? Yeah, I think I might be a Darby. He's also a skater. He's got very good music, too. Upper Darby. There's Cough and Drop. This is his.

Yeah. That wasn't a good one. That's not great. That wasn't a good one. I'm an Orange Cassidy guy. I love Orange Cassidy. He was here a couple weeks ago I know What's the big fall event for wrestling?

Survivor Series for WWE That's here That's here Oh And then Big Cat do you need to send anybody there? Allstate When

When? Yeah Nick Thanksgiving So yeah you want to send us for Yeah get some boots on the ground Brandon you're going to have to stay here and watch the stream of it could I bring some wrestlers to the yak

yeah out of all the people they get it bring Darby I can bring Darby I can bring Max I don't think why not I like MJF but when you say I'm going to bring some wrestlers

the only one you can bring is MJF I can bring Adam Cole Dylan Danis tweeted out that caked up picture of MJF are we allowed to show that picture he looks hot we do an amateur wrestling night in the gym oh that would be awesome that's awesome We do an amateur wrestling night in the gym. Oh

That's awesome like the guy that clip that went viral the other like a few weeks Opponent in the face that was awesome Let's all train one move like yeah, they just lay do we watch that clip on the egg? The guys in the backyard were getting really oh yeah we saw that we saw i can already do the roman reigns superman punch so don't say you make fun of it you make fun he cocks his fist and then punches in the butt no just like a normal punch but he goes like this first but it hurts more because he cocks it yeah yeah he cocks it cocks that if i punched you it wouldn't hurt but if I cocked it, I'd fuck you up.

I could Stone Cold stun someone. I'll take a stunner. Would you? Now? Well, no. We'd do the wrestling match. I used to be the best in my family. How are you willing to take a stunner,

but if I threw a mousetrap within 10 yards of you? I understand that. Something about the mousetrap. I'm in control of the stunner. Okay, better question. How can you take a stunner, and if it's over 70 degrees, you throw up? You said it's going to be in the gym, right? We're not going to keep it over. Yeah, but I'm saying

just as a matter of principle. Because I want it. I want the stunner. I desire the stunner. I want to put on a show with the stunner. I also, we need to get one of those like old school kickballs and play the wheel game and try to just headhunt each other. Yep.

Or spin it. Are you going to actually throw it at other people this time or just throw it at me though? I to just head hunt each other. Yep. Or spin it. Are you going to actually throw it at other people this time or just throw it at me, though? I'll just throw it at you. Okay. I want to play that game so bad. Wait, so TJ, we need a new corn maze. Why? Corn maze? Corn maze people don't like barstool, which I didn't know.

How do corn maze people have to deal with it value-wise perfectly? Yeah, we reached out. We've been in contact with the world's largest coordinators, and I guess whoever their events coordinator is was very, very upset. That's insane. Barstool reached out to try and do something. They told you that? In the email form?

Over the phone. They wanted no part of talking to Barstool. Well, now I want to go. I want to get permanently lost and fuck up their whole day. You know, we could buy tickets. Show up. Yeah, right? We can't just get banned from there. No. Sounds like we all want to be permanently lost and fuck up their whole day. You know, we could buy tickets. Show up. Yeah, right? We can't just get banned from there.

No. Sounds like we all probably could. Part of us doing any sort of production there. Wow. Because it would, what, sully the name of the corn maze? We got to find a new corn maze. So if anybody wants another corn maze in Chicago, we'll go. Phenomenal advertising for them, it seems like.

Link us to a right-wing corn maze. I would have assumed all of them. Yeah, right? Who are these guys? Not this guy. If we can't... A farmer. A woke-ass corn maze.

A woke corn maze? The idea of them sitting around the table being like, if Barstool ever calls, you know what we're saying. Absolutely not. We don't allow that. They won't let us come walk around in their corn. What do they think we're going to do? We would fuck it up.

Why do you have Matt Eberflus googled? I forgot. I wanted to know who the Bears coach is. Forgot his name. For now. He's a dummy. He only has a handful. Why the hell didn't he kick the field goal i don't

know he's an idiot and he also he called time out it's inside two minutes shotgun run if you're gonna go for it just go for it before the time out that way you have your time out just yeah and he also like got caught because he's chase claypool got benched and was told not to show up and after the game he was like well we gave him the and was told not to show up and after the game he was like well we gave him the choice he decided not to come and then the pr had to like go to the reporters after being like actually the coach spoke wrong like incorrectly we didn't want him here like that's never good when the pr has to clean up the coach's answers yeah yeah why wouldn't they want him there what they don? They didn't want him there?

Chase Claypool on Friday was asked, is the offense using him correctly? He said no. So they're like, oh, you can't come. Yeah. Nah, fuck you. Banished. Well, now they're literally not using him correctly because he's a pretty good receiver and they're not even using him.

I think that actually is the correct way to use him. Just not use him. Yeah. Because he doesn't want to be there. He doesn't want to block. He doesn't want to play football. That would make me to use him. Just not use him. Because he doesn't want to be there. He doesn't want to block. He doesn't want to play football. That would make me rude against him. Having a football player that doesn't want to play football is not a great situation.

It didn't help that he spent the summer modeling Harris. I'm pretty close, though, with Eberflus to convincing my brain that he's actually a genius and he's losing on purpose. He doesn't have a coach's name. It's the furthest thing from a coach's name. He should be in Flubber 2. Yeah, you're right. That is a horrible name. He should be like a community college

professor. Yes. I had Professor Eberfluss. He needs to wear a suit jacket. Professor-ass name. Eberfluss project due tomorrow. His hair is always messed up. Bad rating on Rate My Professor. Eberflus project due tomorrow. His hair is always messed up. Bad rating on Rate My Professor. He's got soot on his face.

Eberflus at 8am. Spits when he talks at all. The thing about Eberflus is he teaches the same course every year, so you get the notes from last year, you'll ace all the tests. His Rate My Professor is broken. That thing's busted. Remember, did they still have, like, they put, like, a chili pepper next to

your name if you were hot? That is so funny. That's how I picked my classes. TJ, can you check Mizzou for me? I hate my professor. I forgot about that website. Genius idea. I would absolutely check if I was a professor

and I would be so bummed when I didn't see a chili pepper. Or if you lose your chili pepper. I had it until I was 32 and then my chili pepper went away. Half a chili pepper. That would be way worse. Slowly go away. It's diminishing. Yeah.

I'm a quarter chili pepper? I used to just go on it just to see whoever, because people would review it and be like, yeah, this class is super easy. Yeah. That was the best. That's how you picked your schedule. Yeah, right.

Just give me the easiest class possible. I don't want to learn. Brandon, college is like a thing after high school. I was in it for a while. Yeah, I guess you were. You got your doctorate. I was in it for a while, yeah. I was a TA.

What? I got reviewed, yeah. In a college class? You were a TA? I was the head TA Of the accounting department At Temple University Did you fuck?

Did you ever fuck None of your students? Because TAs fuck Yeah That's the whole point Is you don't want to be a professor Because then Do accounting TAs fuck?

I did not fuck TAs are allowed to fuck I did not fuck You were the head TA? Yeah I was like a hard-o So you gave blowjobs That's what they do Yeah Hey what the hell How was like a hard-o. So you gave blowjobs.

That's what they do. Hey, what the hell? How are you a hard-o? You were a hard-o? Yeah, what does that mean? Like I went through a phase of like, oh shit, I need to be an accounting hard-o to get a job. So like I did like all the professional orgs. I was a TA. In what way were you like strict toward the students?

I was never strict. No, I was the guy that didn't care. But I had a partner, like a co-TA, and he was the hard-o. Did you pass the CPA? Yeah. How many times? Take it. It took me seven.

It's a hard test. Oh, what a bitch. Seven times? Seven times. I would have given up. Seventh time? Yeah, you should have given up. I passed the first two of my first two attempts, and then three and four took me a little bit.

I don't. What was your like dream? What was your like accounting dream? What was your accounting dream? My accounting dream was to fucking kill myself. Okay. Make enough money that your family can live and then kill yourself.

Exactly. And then you finally get a job at a good accounting firm and then you appear on a podcast for freelance and get fired because you're talking about said accounting firm. That's what happened? Oh, yeah. He was on our show a year ago. Oopsies.

Talking about skipping work, faking COVID. Were you a PN4 guy? Yeah. Where did you work? PWC. Whoa. Yeah. And then you came on.

I went on Anus. During this time, I was touring with Sass and also commuting to New york to like get involved with anus okay so i would like tell my boss at work like hey like i had a monkey pox scare not gonna be in for a couple days i'll still crunch the numbers and then like i'd go to rochester and like i can't come in friday like i have a bachelor party in rochester you missed so much work i missed a lot of work you didn't get fired for going on a podcast you got fired for just being a terrible employee you were already on the on the hot seat i was mailing it in were you reprimanded not yet but i became the guy that nobody would like trust okay

that's always a good reputation the worst thing a man i like wouldn't show up to meetings and i'd be like you have so much anxiety i would have so much i gave up it seemed like yeah i like stopped i would be horrified yeah did anus and then it drops and then what was the so like on anus over like a month span i'm talking about like all these excuses i'm making up to like miss saying what he did and then i got full-time freelance so they were like do you want to quit your accounting job got it and i was like yeah and they're like do you want to do it live on the podcast next week yeah sure and then that monday uh i was in new york missed work again

had eight missed calls for my manager at work i kind of knew what was coming but i was like freaking out and uh i finally call him back at like 4 30 in the afternoon and he goes hey connor thanks for calling me back i need to put someone else on the line two seconds later some guy comes on the phone he goes hey this is mark from hr is this conversation being recorded oh and they just terminated me immediately they're like we heard everything you said we'd like to cut ties asap you should have fought it i so they were scared that i was gonna sue them oh you should have still could you still it's too late he talked about it too much yeah i did yeah they all follow

me now like i was at a new firm too we need a good lawsuit on the show so they're like cool with you now uh i don't think so i think they're more curious i like that for them it was a podcast this this kid that works for us a podcast called anus that he like i just like the global fun of the anus aspect i did not find out who the snitch was but there were multiple people that hit me up on our company's like messaging software and we're like yo love what you're doing i was like how did you find me i mean you were you yeah you were like the guy that got free yeah they were living vicariously i'm starting to get dms from my old accounting peers like this is what is your life yeah are you okay yeah damn you were the guy nobody can trust this is my boy mook He's the best but you can't trust him with a single

Fucking thing Great spot to be in no one asked you for anything And I used to be the go getter I was like I know And then I burn out I started doing stand up And I was like this is the worst thing in the world

Like accounting Then I became the worst guy in the world, like accounting. Then I became the worst guy on the team. He is. There he is. That was your first day of accounting. What card is that? That is a, oh, who the fuck is it?

You played for the Rangers. Pro fart, blue refractor, autograph. Yep. Pulled that in the shop. Hell yeah. We're going to give Mook a makeover this week Today we are shopping for clothes Filming I look good already

Nope And we are going to go No you definitely don't To a black barber shop for him And then we're going to go Get him a little piercing Or something A little body mod

Clothes This is not a fit This is a Bro Just wear it You have a translucent translucent sweatshirt of all time. Sweatshirt. Yeah. It's a great sweatshirt.

There's nothing fit about that. This is a casual. No, I said it. You dress like the kid that pissed himself in school and has to go pick the remnants. Yeah, or you might be like a fire alarm goes off in the condominium. Check out what's going on at 2 a.m. That's what you look like. Rudy always says I'm dressed to go to kickball.

Yeah. He is. Yeah, you can just like groggily coming out of a condominium being like, what is this? What's happening? I'm comfy. I heard some sirens. Oh, man, go back to bed.

That was your Monday fit. So, wait, you're going to get him? I'm going to get him clothes, hair, and body mods. Where are you guys going to take him to get clothes? We have a spot, right? Rudy reached out, so it's Rudy that's running the clothing portion. Are the clothing people? No, we are.

We are, yeah. But this is out of the hands of our heart. I would like to chip in if you find something that's a rail. If we need you, we'll let you know. Something unattainable or just don't want to feel like paying. I will chip in. Rudy's going to run lead on clothes. Kyle will run lead on haircut. And then I'll run lead on body mods.

I'd like to see him in a nice jacket. Okay. Like a bomber. Okay. Is this an everyday makeover or is this just a a once? It's a one-time thing. We're doing a series called The Put-On, where each of us are putting stuff on. He probably needs a scarf, too, as the weather turns. Him wearing a scarf.

Michael Corleone, like the, what do you call that? I don't know what it is. Ascot? I want him to just really, really baggy cargos. And then we're going to send him off on a date. Wait. As his new self. His edges are going to be incredibly sharp.

I want him to go to the black barbershop and have like a white pencil. Yeah. Oh, no. Wait, so you're going to have just one pair, like one fit that you will have. You have to wear it every day. I love the way I dress.

I don't know what I'm getting into. I don't know what's happening. They keep bringing up Rick Owens. Yeah, I want you in Rick Owens. By the way, I should say that I have no place to judge. I'm wearing a sweatpants. But that's like my best fit that you have on right now. That's like my peak of life.

Your clothes are the right size. Yeah. Which helps. What? Your sweatshirt's a little big. Yeah, like... Size is a... I don't know. We did get you out of that yellow hood. No. What are you doing? Your sweatshirt's a little big. Yeah, like a... Size, I don't know. We did get you out of that yellow hood.

No. You did. You wore it when you first started. That sweatshirt fit me. Comfortably. I don't mean this in a shitty way. Would you let them give you eyebrows? Where's the tag?

Have eyebrows. No, I know, but like... Maybe go two for one with... Would you do like a tint that would match? Oh, why? We're doing mook right now. Maybe I could give you some of my eyebrows. I could, yeah.

Like a transplant. Yeah, you could chop a little off there. We'll go halfsies on my brows. I'll take halfsies. It's like a flight tent. So, what we're doing is... He's going to get laid this week. Hell yeah.

Guaranteed pussies. Guaranteed. Oh, yeah. Okay. Do you have... After he's going to get laid this week. Hell yeah. Guaranteed pussy is what you're saying? Oh yeah. Okay. Do you have, after he's all done up, do you have like where you're sending him to get? Oh yeah, we should plan the date as well. Wait, does your queen know about this?

No. No, yeah, don't tell her. Don't tell her, just show up. Nobody tell her. It's not your fault. Well, oh wait, it's not going to be a date with her. Yeah, I think so. Oh, okay, great.

Then you'll finally. And she has no idea he's roll up that's what that's what i wrote in the script i i got nothing i don't i'm scared you look defeated right now yeah i am because we've been talking about this fuck coach too oh have a watch and watch at the foot of the bed he signed up for one right oh yeah oh you weren't here. We never told him that. What guy? An Alpha coach. Alpha Dom. Alpha Dom. And he's been pissed that we are not responding to his messages. Alright, so you got a dude. He's

pissed at you. Don't look at me. Who's Alpha Dom? Alpha Dom's pissed. He's gonna teach you how to. It's a relationship quote. When's our next fellow Friday? Oh, we could do it. It's Friday. It's October. No, let's do it the last Friday here. So, two weeks from Friday. Two weeks from Friday. I, we could do it. It's Friday. It's October. No, let's do it the last Friday here. So two weeks from Friday. Two weeks from Friday.

Okay. I have so many. I can't imagine. You want to do a mega fella Friday? I've got one today. He's a Cracker Barrel manager. Yes, that's all we need. I'm going to try to bring one in.

You should have mentioned that Nick is about to die. Oh. That's the best fella maybe. Nick's fella hit him up. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh right for people who miss was it friday's show i'm gonna kick last friday oh i'm gonna kick your ass yo-yo guy donnie matthias just dm me on instagram and said oh even finish finish it he didn't. He knows what comes next. And I just said, please, God, have mercy. He never responded.

He could be anywhere. I followed him. He's the man, dude. Yeah, there. That's what he sent me. I'm incredible. Yeah, I'm fucked. Incredible. I'm incredible Yeah I'm fucked Incredible I'm fucked

Damn spoiler alert Yeah he's hitting that dude Oh my god Please learn this dance You look so good Oh he's crying He's hitting that dude. Oh my god. Please learn this dance. You look so good. Oh he's crying. Oh my god.

So Mook I guess you're fired. Yeah. Give me this ginger. No you should be excited man. I'm excited for you. I'm so nervous. Maybe a sweater? We'll see. We reached out to this really cool streetwear store.

Oh, okay. That is hosting us. I hope we, the Rick Owens thing is. What's Rick Owens? Rick Owens is a designer. Can we see Rick Owens? He's got a new boy toy, actually. That's what they're trying to do.

Oh, shit. Remember Buzz Bissinger, the writer of Friday Night Lights? He got addicted to buying leather. Really? He bought hundreds of thousands of dollars of leather. I thought he became a woman. I think he might have been the comeback, but he had a leather-buying

addiction. That would be a weird thing to be wrong about, Brandon. So I think you might be like the fact. I know. I think he went through some shit. I know that. Yeah. I think he just got addicted to leather. It was worse than that. No, I think it was pretty bad. Look up at BuzzFeed for leather addiction.

I remember reading a story. That's so funny. I remember reading a story. He's like, I have, like, 500 pairs of leather pants. What? Yeah. Was it fetish shit? Yeah. Leather daddy?

He just loved leather. Okay. He just couldn't stop buying it. Addicted to leather. Addicted to leather. Yeah, here we go. Gucci is like heroin. No, no, no. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. He added up $. Addicted to leather. Yeah, here we go. Gucci is like heroin. No, no, no.

No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. He added up $600,000 in leather. It was this. Bissinger is addicted to both shopping and sex and has been to therapy for both. Way wrong from what you said. He has questioned his own sexuality as well as his gender preference. He had a woman phase.

No, gender preference is- He had woman? Once. His preference is who he wants to hook up to. He's had multiple phases. No, but gender preference is... He had woman... He had... His preference is who he wants to hook up to. He's had multiple phases. No, but gender preference is what he wants to fuck. Isn't it? I don't know.

Maybe not. Preference? It could mean either, depending. Wait, what is this? Wait, I want to read this. Visitor says he wears leather every day of the year. His addiction also manifests itself in the form of 81 leather jackets, 12 of them Gucci, including a $13,900 ostrich skin coat, 75 pairs of boots,

41 pairs of leather pants, one that costs $5,600, and 115 pairs of leather gloves, as well as closed shopping tab totaling $587,000 for the years 2010 to 2012. Dude was addicted to leather. Look at that part. And why has he gone public to hopefully incite a remission? Oh, he's trying to shame

himself. I'll tell you this. If you're addicted to leather, you can't be like, I'm addicted to leather. I got a few leather things, maybe bought a cow. You got to be like, I've dropped a half a million dollars. Yeah. That's a good addiction to have. What do you think he's doing with it?

I mean, he probably looked good while doing it. Leather pants have to make, like, they don't ventilate well, right? No. So, like, you've got to be real musty. How many animals is $600,000 worth of leather? That's a lot of. That's a whole lot to do. I wish I could wear a leather coat.

I feel like a leather coat is, like, the final boss of looking. None of us can. I know. Titus might. Oh, goddammit, yeah. Titus could wear a leather coat. I feel like a leather coat is like the final boss of looking. None of us can. I know. Titus might. Oh, goddammit, yeah. Titus could wear a leather coat. Yeah, he could. Yeah, you could.

Why? TJ, just Google Mark Titus leather. Does that exist? Has it happened? Yeah. Uh-oh. There's got to be a couple. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Yeah, Titus could pull it off. It's nothing? I've never had leather before. Yeah. But you could. I could, mate. I don't know. No? It's nothing? I've never had leather before. Yeah. But you could. I could, mate. I don't know.

No, you could. You're a good-looking guy. I'm pretty. Okay. Here we go. Oh, tight as hell. Here we go. Yeah, if anybody else is wearing leather, I'm making fun of them immediately.

Yeah, because you know it's a pure jealousy, I know I can't pull this off type of make fun. Yeah, it would piss me off. Cool guy jacket. Oh. Yeah. But the kids in high school that wore leather jackets were plotting something. Oh, yeah. You guys remember those kids?

That's when I was in, it was 11th or 12th grade for Christmas. My dad got me a leather jacket and he was like so excited to give it to me and it had like yeah it was like a fucking leather jacket and he had some of his sisters help him pick it out and like and i still feel that i pretended that it got stolen that it was like so cool because i got bullied so hard yeah um it's it's a leather jacket's probably the highest volatility where i'm not a leather jacket lady. No, I'm not. You have to be, like you said, preparing to do something real bad at the school or yeah.

Like a cool brown leather. Oh, I didn't smoke. Yeah. You a leather jacket. I'm all set. Indiana. I'm all set. Boss man.

Thank you. Chains and stuff. Oh, chains. Get him a chain wallet. Chain wallet. That'd be cool. Chain wallet should make a comeback. Those, chains. Get him a chain wallet. Chain wallet. That would be cool. Chain wallet should make a comeback. Those were cool.

Sick. Were they? I don't think they were that cool. I think they are. They are popular, yeah. Oh, are they? Mm-hmm. I'm sinking lower and lower into this chair.

We could also go steampunk with Mook. Oh, yeah. Explain steampunk. Steampunk's like old-timey. It was like an era that never actually happened, but it's like... Wait, what do you mean it never happened? Why do I picture like goggles? That's steampunk?

Like a lot of steam-powered engines. Wait, there's like a steampunk... Brandon, there's a... It's preferring a past that never existed. Who's the woman wrestler? Is it Becky Lynch? Was that her? Didn't she have like steampunk phase?

Did she? Oh, steampunk is cool. Yeah, I don't get it. What is it? They have like a lot of hats that look like they create time machines. Is it like retrofuturism? TJ, back me up on Becky Lynch. Retrofuturistic technology and aesthetics inspired by 19th century industrial. futurism like they're tj back me up on becky lynch retro yeah okay thank you futuristic

technology and aesthetics inspired by 19th century industrial so yeah because like if you lived in this time you actually didn't look anything like no died at like 12 years old hold on now you you like to play too cool for school when i talk wrestling but then you just dropped becky having a three-week i knowunk phase. I know more about wrestling than you, Brandon. Yes, for sure. You didn't know about this? I don't remember. I didn't. She had a three-week steampunk.

I didn't pay attention to the women until, like, 2019. Oh, my God. Why don't we just all be steampunk? Real, real steampunk for Halloween. I thought we were doing a costume wheel. Desert Festival. What's it called? Burning Man. A lot of Burning Man rich people are into, like, the steampunk. Real, real steampunk for Halloween. Oh, that would be... I thought we were doing a costume wheel. A lot of people go to that desert festival. What's it called? Burning Man.

A lot of Burning Man rich people are into the steampunk. They have steampunk bicycles. It could be one of the costumes. Could. Steampunk. There's a steampunk bar here. What? Yeah.

There's an everything bar here, isn't there? Yeah. You were going to a bar with turtle races the other night. Yeah, did you guys win? No, they didn't race the turtles. That's how i got uh i don't want to say addicted but that's how i got interested in gambling when i was 12 years old i won a turtle race for a hundred dollars in key west florida oh yeah that's that was winning something like that as a kid yeah just like i'm in for life that was so easy yeah wow Yeah, we should go to a steampunk bar.

Yeah. And just fuck people up with our chain wallets. Maybe bump into Becky Lynch. Maybe get into some type of brawl. Brew-ha-ha. A brew-ha-ha. We'd probably get our asses kicked. Have you gotten Becky Lynch yet for an interview?

I have, and it was a very good interview. Yeah, she did. I insulted her. What? Why? Her jacket was ridiculous. Oh. Okay.

You feel like that would destroy you ever getting Seth Rollins? No, I could get Seth Rollins. He's DM'd me before. What? Could you get The Rock? I could get The Rock. You could get The Rock. He's DM'd me before.

Shut up. Dwayne? I think The Rock DMing you would be more likely than Seth Rollins DMing you. The Rock is very active on Twitter. He'll drop... Seth Rollins and I have a lot in common. Like what? Music taste.

Like what? Rock and roll, baby. And patterned clothes. Polka dots. He wears crazy outfits. I know. You don't wear crazy outfits. I'm a fan of them, though.

Getting him a Seth Rollins outfit wouldn't be outfits. I'm a fan of them though. Getting him a Seth Rollins outfit wouldn't be terrible. Getting mook like Seth Rollins. Yeah. He's married to Becky Lynch. Seth Rollins? Yeah. Are they married or do they just have sex? Married. Yeah.

T.G. we're skipping the wheel because I do have to go do the rundown. If anyone wants to keep yakking. This has been a very fun yak I wanted to give KB a chance to comment on Lil Tay's new song Well, first off, no one made a big deal about it I love when he starts off We kind of just skipped over her not being dead Right

That was a prank, bro Well, she said it was her dad that did it But obviously it was just a prank I mourned her. You did. I remember that day. Grieved that. That was at Bolero.

She has a song. She dropped a song, and it's kind of like a K-pop anthem, and she's, I don't like it. I don't like all of it. It's odd. How old is she now? 16 at the oldest. So whoever faked her death should be in trouble. For like two years.

Two or three years when she was, or nine when she was like popping off the first time. But she's wearing, she's not, I don't know. It's weird. The whole thing is weird. I don't like it. I haven't seen it. You haven't seen the video? No.

Oh, no, I don't like it. Yeah, it seen the video? No. Oh, no. I don't like it. Yeah, it's real like he's too scantily clad. This song stinks. But she's still flexing. Wow. Who wrote the huge official stamped note that she's dead? I don't think she has $100 million in cars, does she?

In the video. That's a lot. That's all you get one, like... A hundred million? Yeah, but some of these cars, like... Don't they have

these weird one-offs? Yeah, but if... If she had a million dollar car, she would need a hundred of them. You just go to a showroom in LA and they have a bunch of cars. Well, her mom was

a real estate agent who got in trouble for using... She would like go to her rich client's house and really quickly film videos of her daughter in the homes with the cars. Did she get less Asian? I don't know. Got the Che disease.

Yeah. All my ops are getting older. They're turning into adults. Is that good or bad? Rebecca Black turned out cool. All my ops of yesteryear. Your ops are getting old. My ops are getting old right before my eyes. I love that your ops are turning into like legal aged people. Yeah.

Sartorius is the other one. Sartorius. What is he up to? He's sober now. He's going on a sober journey. He never went hard like that. But he's sober now. He's just lost relevance. He's like, oh, journey. He never went hard like that. But he's sober now. He's just lost relevance.

He's like, oh, no, I'm sober. Baby Gronk fell off the map, huh? Yeah, he hadn't scored in two straight weeks. Damn. Pretty fucking crazy. And I have him on my fantasy team. Fucking brutal. We should have left a spot open for Baby Gronk on Fantasy League.

All right, spin the wheel, TJ. Hopefully it's not mousetrap oh yeah I think we're getting a reset today I'm calling it no it's wet I'm calling and it's gonna be yes yay oh no yes Titus put it right over here by the way before I do this the haters were calling me out on how not knowing how to set a mousetrap so the way you're supposed to set it yeah dude I had a bunch

of people chirping at me like dude you're setting it wrong you had more than one person chirping you for that it's completely perfect yeah so I know how to set it correctly the problem is if you it's really finicky so if you set it that way you can't launch it across the room it'll snap and so i just want to get ahead of that because telling on them they must live in filth to be to be so yeah so i had to i had to adjust and make a throwable we have the best fans in the world but man sometimes like yeah maybe maybe you should touch grass you see how tight oh yeah see all right start spinning it and what you have to sit on it no you have to you have to pretend your uh fingers you wanted it to be sit on it no one

ever mentioned sitting on i would rather sit on it than use my fingers other ones if that one's broken oh sit on it these my fingers other ones if that one's broken oh wow that thing hosted a rooting yeah I'm like kind of down I kind of want to do it I'm feeling that spark yeah it does like the I don't know I'm going to mousetrap in the room. Brandon, how you feeling? How you feeling? Two sickos. Do you wish you were on some pills right now to help you make this easier? Oh, no.

They're taking away all the people that want it. The wheel is really sentient. I know it's not a punishment for me, Titus, and Luke. Okay. Here we go. Come on, me. Well, don't come on me. Come on.

My Uber driver asked what my Instagram was today, and he looked it up and then just didn't follow me. Oh, no. Yeah, pissed me off. He took one look and was like, no thanks. Nick, I saw your pumpkin. Well, she stole the pumpkin. Yeah.

Oh, we're getting down to it oh zah way to go why are y'all gonna make me do this i don't want to do this i don't want to even be here anymore conquer your fear not us oh there you go brand, no. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Best of seven. Oh. Oh. Wow. Fuck.

Fuck. I don't want to do this. Physiological side. Oh. All right, 1-1. There you go. I'm not doing this. I am not doing this. He has tears in his eyes. They're glistening.

Get that goddamn ball. 2-1, TJ. Oh, no. I'm not doing that. Brandon, the wheel's sniffing you out like a dog. You have to calm down. Yeah, seriously. Brandon, the wheel's sniffing you out like a dog. You have to calm down. Yeah, seriously.

2-2? 2-2? Brandon, you know the rule with the wheel. You have to pretend that you're down for it. The three that wanted it most got eliminated immediately. The wheel knows. 3-2. You're good.

You're good, Brandon. This freakout is going to look really bad. There you go. there you go there you go there you go that was awkward yeah all right I remember explaining to sass like the first like two weeks he was on I was like all you gotta do is pretend that you're down for everything and then there's a one in ten chance that you or nine in ten chance you won't have to do it so you'd be like I'm down for that all right Mousey Mouse, here comes the mouse. Eat that cheese, Mouse. Eat that cheese, Mouse. Eat it. Ah!

Way to take that like an absolute. Yeah, holy shit, TJ. TJ's just little boy Brandon. Eat his big body, dude. Oh, all right. We'll see you everyone tomorrow. Wait, let's do that one more time. Let. See you tomorrow. Let's do that one more time. Let's reset the wheel.

Let's do it one more time. Wait, we always do. Mousetrap's always doubled. It is doubled. Something's wrong with my mic. Mousetrap on there. Mousetrap on there. We'll keep it on the wheel.

All right. See you tomorrow. Great yak. It's the yak. It's the yak. Get your straw jack style and stay for a while. It's the act Get your straws, yeah Style a tape for a while It's the act

It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk Shop or do a Yankee swap It's the act It's the act Watch the roof ball vlog. It's pinned in the chat. Watch the roof ball vlog.

Bye. See you tomorrow. Bye. Bye.