The Yak - The Mystical World of Magic Takes Over HQ | The Yak 10-20-22

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. What's up, you... Whoa, am I loud? Loud. Hello. What's up, everybody? Hey.

What's up, you stupid motherfuckers? KB, nice colors. Thank you. Roan, nice big Nike check. Yes, sir. Kate, been chasing checks. IB, nice colors. Thank you. Roan, nice big Nike check. Yes, sir. Kate? I've been chasing checks. I know. Hello. I've been chasing checks. Big checks. You didn't give Kate a compliment.

Kate. Kate? Hello? How about a nice compliment for Kate, maybe? Yeah, what about me? You really backed me into a corner here. Wearing the same jeans I wore yesterday. I wore the same jeans all week. I did not have laundry.

The same pants I wore yesterday. That's what Febreze is for. That's what Febreze is for. So I think a wrinkle spray somehow cleans it a little bit better. Yeah. Well, how often are you supposed to clean pants? You're put together all the time. No, never.

This is gross, but I have a relative who said that when they this was like way way back in the day but they would go visit this super older relative who was always sitting in the same seat and whenever they would get up and they were little kids they would run over and smell the seat what the fuck i know i know i'm sorry that's philly shit no no that is oh what i know people that have done similar shit not to relatives but like like pleasurably oh no it was probably like a horrifically they would like dare each other to go oh that's perfectly dares are fine che over here we'll just go with with the homeless on the bracket uh the bracket oh yeah we have today jeez hey we did the best che moments but we had to

narrow it down to just things that happened on that show because there would be too many it would be a bracket of hundreds but while we were talking about real quick just aside they're trying to do that with NCAA sports so like add 20 teams to basketball 88 fucking team bracket

get the fuck out of here seriously Che admitted that when he was younger, his mom had to put mustard on the windowsill because Che would just bite up and down the windowsill. You know, he would eat. He would eat the cell. He would eat objects. He would eat paint and like paint toys that were painted. Yeah, you would eat.

Yeah, so I would eat. There's a name for that affliction. Pica? Pica. Pica. It's when you chip things off and you eat the chips, right? Yeah. You eat cushions and shit.

I would eat the... It wasn't really a lot of stuff. It was really just paint off of the matchbox cars and then the windowsill. And you would gnaw up and down the windowsill standing up. The windowsill, yes. That's what horses do. The windowsill had multiple teeth. Well, no, that's one thing.

But your mom had to put something edible to prevent you from eating it. Correct. Spicy brown mustard, which at the time I did not like at all. Now I do. I could see how it would be satisfying if there was a little give to the wood. A little give to sink your teeth in. I could see how that's a little bit, especially for a toothing boy. Jay's mom put mustard, an edible food, on the windowsill so he wouldn't eat the windows. I can't believe that.

I can't believe she needed to resort to putting something edible on something so you wouldn't eat it. Yeah. That's counterintuitive, don't you think? And probably very bad for the wood. Mm-hmm. It's also probably a daily must the wood. A daily mustard rub? That's acidic. Yeah, mustard. And it stains. They should make gross

tasting paint or some shit like that. Not that delicious shit that Sherwin-Williams is whipping up. Ain't bad, it ain't bad. Yeah, I don't know why. I do know that that happened but I don't know why I would do that. Were you a glue eater? No. I ate a lot of Play-Doh until too old. Oh yeah, yep. I ate a lot of Play-Doh until too old.

Oh, yeah. I ate a lot of Play-Doh. We're talking about how Stephen Che would eat his window sills when he was a child, so his mom had to put spicy brown mustard on the sill so he wouldn't eat it. Because he hated the mustard. Not at all? No. Not at all?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Put it on, put it on. No. Stephen, that was probably lead paint, right? I'm not sure. I think it would- What year was it? Recently.

Oh, yeah. Probably like 1991. Lead poison. Lead. Lead. That's where your brain comes from. Maybe. Just developmental years.

Shout out to lead. Shout out to lead. Shout out to lead. Thankful for the lead. Lead head. What does lead even do? What is... Did you shave? I had to for the commercial.

I don't like it. Neither do I. And you're not even like a beard guy, but it is a little jarring. Yeah, it was. I don't like the look. Your lips are just... You need filler. Yeah, the small lips. Wait a minute. you had a goatee then yesterday yeah it just looked weird solo goatee i mean that's just such a funny picture i i looked at it like you know when you just keep

going back i went back like three times last night to to relook like big head big head kb whatever the uh still on my neck they told us that was eleven thousand dollars and i don't know if like three times last night to re-look. Like big head KB. Whatever the... Still on my neck. They told us that was $11,000 and I don't know if I'm buying it. Unless it was like for like the hours of makeup as well. $11,000? That's what we were told in that meeting.

$80,000. It was awkward going up there because it was like you sitting in that chair and then like 10 people sitting in a semi-circle around you it was a massive production that we just shot in the office there were hired extras directors of photography people who just hazed the room that was their only job they were just hazed hired a room hazer yeah which i'd never seen through cans i i thought that there was like a machine that hazed i didn't realize it was just an aerosol our like production has like blows my

mind when i think about where we're at in terms of commercials and all this stuff yeah the branded content guys make movies what are you smiling at me this is gonna be a 15 second commercial yeah we did a mugsy one that like blew my mind we were up there for four hours yeah you know i used to do when i was like trying to break into the biz when i lived up in new york before i would go on craigslist on the weekends and look for productions that were looking for like free labor, like free help. And I would go and so I would work for free on commercial shoots like we need somebody to run to CVS and get this, this and this. And so I would we need to be like the roommate. We need somebody to walk around with the smoke. And like I would do that shit for free hoping was your end goal hoping that i would get enough experience that i could like put it on a resume or like make a connection

that i could like start networking or something but i ended up just doing a bunch of free work for people but i was like the room mister that's riskier for your life than the marines was yeah probably yes showing up like we need you at this new york city warehouse at like 8 a.m to whatever to work the fog machine. I was like, I'll be there for free. Damn. Doing stuff for free is tough. It's stupid.

And that's bad work. It's very stupid. Sorry, you said the mist machine and I was like. Did you ever put it on a resume? No. No, you never did? Damn. That's something you could have just done.

Put it on the resume. Yeah, you're right. Where are we at with selling Kyle's job search We gotta get that I'll check in with sales But I know they were talking to one specific company about it Okay perfect And we are

I think 12 hour stream's gotta be coming soon Hopefully I'm out tomorrow I think the following Friday I have to travel too because we have the college football show. But then I'm starting to not have as much Friday stuff. I want to do it. I want to do it real bad. I want to get Tyler O'Day back in.

I think it'll just be fun and just almost like a Christmas special of a show where you have different guests coming in. We are doing a Christmas special. We are, yeah. We never announced that. What? It's going to be a Christmas special. We are, yeah. We never announced that. What? It's going to be a Christmas special. Breaking news. We're doing a Christmas special that we're going to pre-tape,

and it's going to be an eggnog case race. And a gift exchange. That's going to be like 15,000 calories. It's going to be so bad. Good God. How does Kyle know about this? They came into a meeting. It was Hank and MB.

I think you were gone last. It was when you were gone. It was when you were on your bachelor party. On my bachelor party. They were like, do you have any ideas? And we just were like, we could do a Christmas special. So we're going to tape it sometime in December. We'll probably air it, I don't know, like the week before Christmas.

And it will be a gift exchange slash eggnog case race. So just we'll be puking and giving each other fucked up gifts. Yes. And dressing up. I said that we should have Shane Gillis back on to be Santa Claus. That would be nice. Just have him sit in the corner. We're all on the naughty list.

Does he like nog though? Or is he just a BL guy? Oh, I don't know. I hate eggnog. I hate egg nog. I hate egg nog. You got to do it. What liquor goes in egg nog? Rum, maybe?

I want to say rum. Oh, God. Can we do tequila egg nog? Mezcal egg nog? Oh, rum shata? Turn it into cheese instantly? Yeah. Cheese.

Are you going to leave out double Ritz for Santa? Oh, no. I lost this family. Told you you're going to be out double Ritz for Santa? Oh, no. I lost this family. Told you you're going to be Santa Claus. Santa Claus. I'm going to get you guys really nice gifts where you're uncomfortable. Can we spin some kind of wheel where we have to spend a certain amount on the gift that we get or some shit like that? Or something so some people get really expensive shit and some people uh like piss in a bottle or

found out it was like uh fran's birthday like two two weeks ago three weeks ago and i was going to get her something like that was like 1500 just to see how she was gonna react i just didn't i didn't do it but i thought about it make her super uncomfortable hey fran i heard it was your birthday here it's a beautiful diamond necklace Because then it makes it awkward For her boyfriend too Yeah I just like Spent more on Fran I don't know

I just heard yesterday It was your birthday So I just I don't know Happy birthday We sit You know Our backs face each other

I don't know You'll probably hate it I don't know I don't know you that well So I just I saw this And it just reminded me of you. I figured I'd try something. Is that your impression of me?

I like it. You're goofy, Kyle, today. I like it. The gift giver guy? His own co-worker. Oh, yeah. Who tries to do the woe is me. Mine was more of like somebody I don't know that well.

I just work with them. And I was just like, yeah, happy birthday. I heard. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a Tiffany necklace. Is that right? Is that?

There's a Tiffany necklace. Well, there's tiers, I think, of Tiffany necklaces. Here's a mid-tier Tiffany necklace. Yeah, definitely. That aqua box, right? Is that Tiffany? You pay for the box. Pay for the box.

Pay for the box. We should make a box. We should choose a color that Mac merch comes in. Yeah. Yes. You could buy a Tiffany box online for like $15. Yeah. It's like the Apple developers spent just as much time on the phone as they did on the box.

Oh, Apple was all about their package design. Yeah, because it's a work of art, and it makes you not want to throw out the box. I never do. I always do. I always do. Fuck that box. What's so good about it? You're right. They're all chilling on a shelf.

Right. People just save it. They refuse to. Yeah. Why? It works. I don't know. They're really slow.

Yeah. Everything has their own little compartment. It's good. You guys want me to order a pizza again? I kind of want to just start ordering a pizza every day. That pizza was good yesterday. I'm me to order a pizza again? I kind of want to just start ordering a pizza every day. That pizza was good yesterday. I'm going to order a pizza again. You guys ate it yesterday?

Yeah, we ate it. Fuck. I was in this bitch ass meeting. How'd that go? Just getting yelled at. By who? I don't know. I don't want to say in case they yell at me again.

Yeah. Double yell? This shit is terrifying. Getting yelled at at work? I thought I put that shit to say in case they yell at me again. Yeah. Double yell? This shit is terrifying. Getting yelled at at work? I thought I put that shit to bed long ago. But here I am, grown up, getting yelled at. Getting truly yelled at is a terrible, terrible feeling. What the fuck is this, dude?

What the fuck is your problem? Someone's just yelling at me. Oh, look at this guy with the clear glasses. When's the last time you got yelled at? He's a cool guy. He's just yelling at me. Oh, look at this guy with the clear glasses. When's the last time you got yelled at? He's a cool guy. He's very cool. Oh, there's somebody in Out and About right now that I really want to hijack and pull him in. Who is it?

He is a part of a magician duo. Oh, a chick? He is the chick. Oh, man. I have questions for him as well. Oh, I wish it were Roy. Is it? Oh, here they come. Is it Blaine? It's Penn. Oh, it's Penn. Oh, I wish it were Roy. Is it? Here they come.

Is it Blaine? It's Penn. Oh, it's Penn. Oh, my God. It's Penn Jillette. No way. Oh, my God. Can we?

Whoa. I don't know, man. Oh, no, no. No. No. Oh, my God. No. I'm freaking out.

Big fan. Yeah, I'm too big of a fan. We're big fans of yours. We're huge fans of yours. Yes. How are we doing? No. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Yeah big of a fan. We're big fans of yours. We're huge fans of yours. Yes. How are we doing? No. Oh, yeah.

We're live. We're live. We're live. That's okay. You want to sit down for a second? Yeah. For a quick second. We're huge fans.

So we... Joey, come ask him the connection. Yeah. Nick is a huge fan of yours. Yes. Hey. I'm good. Yeah, and we're huge fans of yours. I'm good.

We're huge fans of your work. Can we turn on his mic? We're talking about... Our friend in here, he used to... His parents had to put mustard on the windowsill so he wouldn't bite it. That's kind of where we were at. He didn't like mustard, but he liked windowsills.

They would also do that with fingernails, right? Yeah, people that bit their nails with vinegar. Yeah, not vinegar. They put more disgusting things. Yes. We thought it was crazy. Of course, once you have children and you change diapers, you'll never bite your fingernails again.

Yeah. That's another solution. Is that true? Quickly. Yes. Why do you think? I think the poop is- Yeah, that's what I was saying.

That's what I was saying. That's what you're putting down's what i was saying when you're putting down and we got to come clear clean with you um we've created a slur for magicians have you yeah probably correct what is we call them jicks jicks for magic oh jicks yeah so it sounds like a slur though it does and it feels mean but it's really just talking it's just like there goes that jick he's really good at tricks. You're a textbook chick. Yeah, right. Doesn't that

feel like we're about to fight? Yeah, except I don't ever fight. Yeah, right. You just do magic on someone. Did you make one of us disappear? Yeah. I know people in Jersey. Okay. Vegas can make a phone call to Jersey and people disappear.

Yes, that's true. Or Santa Claus. But I'm going to let you get back to your little- Yes. We just wanted to say we're a big fan. I wanted to say hi and say that what a wonderful collection of people. Thank you. It is a collection.

If I were you, though, I would cover all of you in mustard. Yeah. To make sure you're safe from the later. Do you have a trick for us? Do you have a trick? I got nothing on me. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. We would never ask you're safe from the lighter. Do you have a trick for us? Do you have a trick? I got nothing on me. Oh, that's fine. That's fine.

We would never ask you to do that. That's very wrong. My bad. My bad. Tell a joke. No. No. Pan, I'm a big fan.

Yeah. You made that disappear. Yeah. There you go. Thank you so much. Everyone tune in. Ben Gillette on Out and About. Out and About.

What a nice guy. What a nice guy. So I shouldn't have asked for a trick? No. No. He was great. He is great. Is that not?

Ask a comedian for a joke. Ask a magician for a trick. Ask a rapper to rap. Ask a basketball player to shoot a free throw for you. People ask me for picks every time they see me on the show. You're not like a model. What? I'm talking about gambling picks.

Oh. Picks. I say, who do you like tonight? And I give them a pick even if I don't like them. Okay, that is equivalent. Yeah, they hit me with the monkey dance, and I always dance for them. Having a pick is different than having a trick, though. A pick and a trick?

I think a pick is different than a trick. I think having a trick is like you've got to have something new all the time. You could have a new pick every day. No, I'm actually mad now. I'm mad because I always give people gambling picks when they ask, even though they always lose. I give them the pick. What if we had a porn star in here?

Would you suck a dick? Before you leave. What if someone was like do a boomer? Like make up a boomer on the spot for me. All right, so my bad. I shouldn't have asked for a trick. I was hoping maybe he did a trick Like uh

You don't listen to part of my take Damn that's fucked up bro Nah like what the fuck I thought you were talking about shrooms Yeah Steven can you do us a magic trick Cause I'm now I'm jonesing for a magic trick

I gotta come clean I love magic I do too Okay I love magic I've been projecting Yeah I'll come in and do one Okay I need to get a deck of cards Alright Give this guy a deck I do too. Okay. I love magic. I've been projecting. Yeah, I'll come in and do one.

Okay. I need to get a deck of cards. All right. Thank you. This guy a deck. Do you think he did any for out and about? Definitely. He definitely made the salami disappear. Yeah.

Nice. Check your asshole. Wait, now I feel bad. Now I shouldn't have asked for it. No, no. Don't feel bad. I literally feel bad. I don't care that much.

Is he in comedy too? Not. Yes. It's lighthearted magic. It's't care that much. Is he in comedy too? It's lighthearted magic. It's like magic within comedy. A lot of comics have a little bit of joke to their act, I feel like. I mean, I'm sorry,

magicians. Yeah. The guy that I saw a couple weeks ago, the millionaire's magician, he was cracking jokes the whole time. Mid-2000s was about serious magic with Blaine and Chris, but they didn't joke around at all. It's got to come in waves.

They were dead. Didn't Blaine just go into... It canceled. He did? Yeah. For what? I think a Me Too. Oh.

Well, there was... Have you ever heard of the Magic Castle in Los Angeles? What? Oh my God. The Magic Castle in Los Angeles is like, it's like invite only. You have to get dressed up to go to this magic show, but it's a Los Angeles staple kind of thing. And it was like a hot ticket place to go kind of.

My baby dad went there, but they had to like go out and get bow ties and like tuxes and stuff to go. But they all got me too as well. All the magicians. It was this big scandal. It was like in the magic community, it was this big scandal last year that turns out all the magicians at the magic castle were perverts. Of course.

It's like, of course they are. It does happen, it feels like, predominantly with magicians. What do you think Stephen Che's magician name is? The way he just flipped his... The way you just flipped that deck walking down the hallway? I see this. Very cocky magician type shit. What's your magician name?

Ask Pat if he got a trick. You ask Pat if he got a trick? He got a trick and we didn't. Let's not trick him if he got it. Pat. Did you get a... Did you get a trick? Yeah, he did a trick.

Mother fucker. He didn't do a trick for us. He did multiple tricks. Multiple tricks? He put cards in the back of Joey's pockets, had him pick them out, and then he guessed what card it was. What the fuck? He had to get on my knees and I pretended to blow him. This is bullshit.

I wasn't wrong to ask for a trick. He wouldn't do it? No. He had three dicks and cards in his pockets. He doesn't like me. He just doesn't like me. But I wasn't wrong. I don't want to ask for a trick. He wouldn't do it? No. He had three decks of cards in his pocket. He doesn't like me. He just doesn't like me. But I wasn't wrong. I don't want to make enemies with a magician.

Yeah, but I just want it on the record. I wasn't wrong to ask for a trick. He just sized me up and was like, I don't like this fucking guy. I'm not giving him a trick. I think it was all of us that he didn't like. Yeah. Kyle half asked a question and then got down on himself. I told him the slur thing.

It sucked. We're awful with guests. When you were calling him a jick, I felt. Oh, no, it felt awesome. It felt like, whoa. That's my problem is that I love, I like, there's nothing better than the awkward moment to me. Oh, you would have loved Francis's party when my boy was getting. Yeah, I would have.

You should have texted me and been like, get over here quick. We got an incident. Yeah, you would have. I would have been like, I'm right there because I love any awkward tension. I'm like the inverse of Kate. You're at a place in your career where you can do that. I've always loved it. That was my ticket out of here, brother. Yeah, that's true.

I can't burn a bridge. All right. Ready, Steven? I do have a trick. Is that on? I'll do it to you, Kate. It is. Ready, Steven? I do have a trick. Is that on? I'll do it to you, Kate. It is. You're going to do it for Kate?

What? You're going to do it to Kate? Yeah. Into the mic. Into the mic. Just close to the person. Do you want... No, no, no.

I know. I want to be the observer. Okay. Is this one you've done? I haven't showed you guys this trick yet. Whoa. Yeah. Any music maybe, TJ?

I feel like this is like a magical type of event where we could maybe get a little bit of a soundtrack to this, something mystical or of the occult. Yeah, play mystical. Mystical flow? Mystical beat? This is a pretty simple one. It's just a pick a card. Okay.

But I need you to pick it based on mood. Oh, okay. card. Okay. But I need you to pick it based on mood. Oh. Okay. Okay. Okay. So think about how you're feeling right now in this moment. Okay. And then I need you to transfer that energy to a card you picked.

So if you're feeling royal, maybe you pick a certain face card or something like that. And then I'm going to try and guess what your card is, okay? He's pushing her to choose one way. Kate, are you feeling royal right now? Kate, are you feeling seven right now? Is it to your heart? Okay.

So wait, I'm allowed to look at these? Yes, so pick, take one card out. You can show it to the group, show it to the camera, whatever you want to do. I hate confidence in spades right now. Come on, Kate. Just take one. Okay. Welcome to the club.

Turn around. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. That's a little bit of a twist. This is great music. Yeah, you actually never see that card. No.

Uh-uh. Rarity. So I'm going to ask you to put it back in the deck anywhere you would like. Okay. Are your eyes shut? I'm not looking. Oh, my God. Okay, I touched his hand all around so that he doesn't know where.

Okay, and now I'm going to ask you two questions. And you have to give me honest answers. Okay, I touched his hand all around so that he doesn't know where. Okay, and now I'm going to ask you two questions. And you have to give me honest answers. Okay. What is your favorite color? Purple. Purple. Whoa. Purple.

I was hoping for red or black. Kate, what is your middle name? Lee. Can you spell that? L-E-I-G-H. L-E-I-G-H. Kate Lee. You said purple?

Uh-huh. Kate Lee. Is Kate your... Is it Catherine? What's your birth name? Catherine. Am I going to get dumped? Social Security, please?

Yeah, yeah. Maiden name. Catherine Lee. You chose the Ace of Hearts. Wow! Yeah! Good work. What's the middle name thing?

Don't worry about it. Yeah, don't tell us. I like that. I just made that up, by the way. Can you do it again? Jick never tells his tricks. Do it with Nick. Do it with Nick.

Leave us wanting more. No, leave us wanting more. Can't do it? Yes, leave us wanting more. Do you have another type of trick? I don't want the same trick. This and the other trick are only two in my bag. Okay, okay. So you. This and the other trick are only two in my bag. Okay, okay.

So you want to do the other one? Can we pay for magic lessons for Che? I would love that. I would do that. Yeah, I know you would. Send him to Magic Camp. Have you seen that documentary? Magic Camp?

One of the funniest, unintentionally funniest documentaries ever. It's just a bunch of kids at Magic Camp. Is there a clip that we can watch? Yeah. All right, thank you, Steven. Okay, that was... I love it.

There's something there. You're right. If we can make content out of Steven going through Magic Camp or classes, I will pay for that. As long as it doesn't affect me being able to be a blackjack dealer. Oh.

Is that a thing? I think you've already blackjack dealer. Oh. Is that a thing? I think you've already done too much. Yeah. Is that a real thing? You know that you're slight of hand. What the fuck do you want to be a blackjack dealer for? Those are my career aspirations as a teenager. And so.

Was it blackjack dealer and. Blackjack dealer on a cruise ship. On a cruise ship. That's right. You're not going to do that. You have children to rear. no i'm gonna do i'm gonna do it and it'll be like so when people play blackjack online at the barcelona sportsbook once in a while it's gonna be me no no offense to blackjack dealers on casino trips you weren't

really like reaching for the stars there no yeah you weren't but uh you know now i'm an over neuro cert you know like a like a heart surgeon or something. Yeah. But I'm overachieving. Yeah, that's true. Well, are you? You got to do it on a cruise ship unless otherwise it doesn't count as overachieving. Right.

Maybe you wear a captain's hat every time you do it. Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing a cruise ship in a spot once in a while. Maybe if we have a barstool cruise ship one day, it could be the deal. Riverboats. I feel like we will have a barstool cruise ship one day, it could be the dealer. River boats. I feel like we will have a barstool cruise ship one day, like our total sellout phase.

Yes. We're like, do like the... Like the Gronk ones. Yeah, like, yeah, when a band

breaks up and then they come back as like 80 year olds, we'll just, when we're all 70, Glennie's just stumbling around

with a Mai Tai. Got it. Thank you. Wait, can you actually not be a dealer if you've gone to magic camp? That's what I was asking. I wouldn't trust Steven knowing his sleight of hand. Would you trust Blaine to do you an even fair hand? I wouldn't trust Blaine for anything.

Exactly. While he doesn't have headphones on, I accidentally exposed how he did the trick during that. Oh, fuck. All the cards were in order. Case card was the only one not in order. That son of a bitch. How did you show the deck?

They were all in order? Numerically. So his deck was fixed? To start off. That's the easiest trick of all time. Simple, but that makes it good. It makes it good. I wish I never knew that. We're the easiest trick of all time. That's simple, but that makes it good. It makes it good. I wish I never knew that.

Nothing. We're not talking about anything, Steven. Yes. Maybe you're not ready for Magic Cam. Yeah, I think you could still be a blackjack dealer. Yeah. Great. That's perfect.

Great. Thanks, guys. He can't ever have an L No, no, incapable Oh, Stanko with the hair today He's been on beanie mode What is he doing with that hair? There's a power vacuum in the control room

The tech room Tech guy, obviously Pete was the original alpha back there Tech guy Andrew Then he got a desk And then tech guy Andrew kind of had the best desk in there, kind of ran shit. But now tech guy Andrew sits over towards where Pete's at. Whoa. So there's, and they're kind of leaving tech guy Andrew's desk open for now

because nobody wants to take it because that will expose them as power hungry and put a target on their back. Whoa. These guys are bloodthirsty savages. Damn. Did I misrepresent a single thing? We're more friendly, I like to think. That's a power play.

That was political as fuck. For the most calculated guys. Little finger, dude. Can I kind of break news? Yes. Yeah. Brandon Walker, home in the south right now. Dog was hit by a car.

No. In the dog ICU. Are you serious? You're a little too excited to. Well, the dog's not going to die. Wait, what? Yeah, dog was hit by a car. In New Jersey?

Yeah, but I don't know. He said he... Oh, my God. What the fuck? Curse continues. This guy cannot catch a break. Why are you so excited about this? Yeah, what the fuck?

I was expecting it. I want you to get hit by a car. The dog's not going to die. It's worse. You don't know that. Let's cut to my bad person. She's been keeping my dog. I was home for five minutes.

He went outside, got hit by a car. This was last night. I'm currently at the dog. I was home for five minutes. He went outside, got hit by a car. This was last night. I'm currently at the dog emergency room. The dog's stable. You call him. We need to hear from him. Dog has lung damage. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm not laughing at the dog. I'm laughing at the curse of Brandon. Ever since he got money, his life has gone to absolute shit. We need to get him a seance. We need to get him a- Exercise. Yeah, we need to get him a crystal thatance. We need to get him like a... Exercised.

Yeah, we need to get him a crystal that he has to carry around. We got to hit up Spencer from Laguna Beach. He's just such a bad string of luck. Spencer Pratt loves crystals. He's got a big shelf of them right in his front home. He needs something. He needs a sage smearing or... Or he needs to give the money back.

Right. This shit is a... Especially for a guy as superstitious as him. Do we call him? Yeah, I think he's at Mississippi State. Yeah, he just texted me because I asked if I could tell about the dog. Send him the number?

You see how gleeful Nick was about that? He was so excited to break the worst possible news. You guys are so pissed I got the news before you. Nick is a good guy. You would have ran in here salivating. Both y'all douchebags. Everyone knows Nick is this good guy, but, dude, deep down, he loves when dogs are injured. Yeah.

Also. Dog got hit by a car. He's like, that's good content. It also means that he doesn't really care for the dog because when Brandon has real tragedies, he calls me. Doesn't text. Calls. Calls. Calls.

Yeah. They're probably just throwing it on the grill. Yeah. One less mouth to feed. Yeah. He's been, he's, it's been bad. It's, it's so bad. He's Charlie Brown. Yeah.

He's got the stinky cloud just following him around. No, that's. Big pen. Big pen. No, but it's all, he is Charlie Brown, though. We should try to get him to kick a field goal, yeah. His ego, he would have to go for the kick. Oh, he hasn't even gone to the Mississippi State practice yet.

He's there right now. He's going to get hurt, isn't he? Brandon. Are you making fun of my dog? No. Nick is. Nick is. Nick is gleeful.

Look at his show. Brandon, I was excited to break the news. I've never broken news on the show. Nick's the only person I've told. Is Sam okay? Sam's not really okay. Sam's in the ICU right now, but he's still stable. What is the injuries?

All right, so I got home yesterday to visit my mom. His husband just died last week, and Sam was so excited to see me, he ran and jumped in my lap and everything. And then I walked inside, he ran outside, got hit by a car. Fuck, man. How is... He has a bad chest. He has a bad what? Chest.

Chest. That's like 90% of a dog. So is he going to be okay? Yeah, he's not dead, and they don't think he's going to die. It's just he's going to be in the ICU for a while. Fuck, man. You can't catch a break. At all.

Did the driver stop? No, we don't know who the driver was. Oh, my God. Yeah. uh no we don't we don't know who we don't know who the driver was oh my god yeah ever since i got that ridiculously big contract my life has just sucked sucked i kind of what i'm kind of worried about being around you yeah well nothing's happened bad to you you're not a part of the walker family yeah it's a walker curse So should we get a seance when you come back? If y'all want to. I don't care. We need to do something to lift this curse.

I would love to find something. How did the Brady Bunch family lift the curse? They went to Hawaii. They had to get like a curse. Yeah. The curse was in Hawaii, though, wasn't it? Yeah. It was like a talisman, right?

They accidentally ate shrooms on their spaghetti, and they started tripping. Didn't somebody get hit in the nose with a football? It was Marsha. Marsha. Horrible make-up. All right. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Maybe we've got to find this driver and beat the fuck out of him.

He's from Mississippi in a truck. I don't think we can fuck with that guy. We'll fuck him up. We'll just use big words around him. That dude couldn't even kill a dog. Yeah. That's a truck shit. He couldn't kill a dog with a truck.

What a pussy. Yeah. How was he driving? He drove away because he was embarrassed. So how's everything going for you guys? Really good, man. Couldn't be better. You sorted the pizza again?

There's a magician here. He's off the logo. Yeah. Actually, the yak There's a magician here. He's off the logo. Yeah, actually, Yak has been great since we've gotten you off the logo. We just had Penn Jillette. Brandon just got hit by a fucking asteroid or something. Yeah, Brandon fell in a sinkhole.

I'll see you guys. Everybody called in that time, and it sounded like he was doing his soundboard, his own soundboard. Yeah. And I was, like, convinced. Yeah. That ending sounded like it. Yeah. All right.

See you guys. See you guys. I love Mississippi State. Thanks for calling, guys. We'll see you next time. Hey, Gumbit. He's doing it again. Brandon? Gone now. He's doing it again. Brandon?

Gone now. He's gone. I am worried about him. Yeah. Brandon. Oh, man. He's going to be so red when he gets back. Yeah, I know. I'm going to see him this weekend. Oh, yeah.

Good luck. Baton Rouge. That's going to be fucking awesome Yeah come out if you're in Louisiana La Berge tomorrow 6 to 8pm Casino Who's going to be there? Me, the Curse of Brandon Walker Handsome Hank

Casey Big Ev Maybe Caleb Theo Vaughn, maybe. Wow. 12.30 at Fred's on Saturday for the college football show. We were at Fred's. It's awesome.

They bring you steaks. Favorite bar. Fred's is like, the whole Baton Rouge, Louisiana, LSU, even New Orleans, it's a different country in the best way possible. What's different about Fred's? What's so great about it? It's gigantic. The people, they don't have that fake southern hospitality that other southern people have.

No, they're as real as it gets. They're authentic. And they're very nice. And I told this story on Pick'Em, but we went to the game a few years ago. And we stayed at a hotel probably an hour or, sorry, a mile away from the stadium. We got up, walked to the stadium. In the 20 minutes we walked to the stadium,

I was blackout drunk. Because every place you walk by, like, have this, have that, and it's just an unreal place. I did, I watched There's me at Fred's. On the far right Is the owner Of Fred's

Yes He's the owner Yes That's Mrs. Fred Oh yeah His name's not Fred The little group pic I didn't want to dox him

The famous owner Of that place I went to Little People Wrestling there Oh Caleb and I called it For the Barstool

Travel show Or whatever we were doing at the time. It was fantastic, though. These young luchadors, they were fantastic. They were like little Rey Mysterios. Wow. It was absolutely lovely. Down to earth guys.

Yeah. For sure. Is Arsenal playing a game right now? What's his face? Troops. Troops went off on Jack Mack. At first, I...

Wait, when? Oh, my God, like big time earlier. It's online. Yeah, so there's a video of it. See it? I thought it was going to come to blows. I genuinely at first was like, wait a minute. Is that like...

Yeah, I kind of... Troops, I love Troops. Sometimes he's got a little bit of Only child syndrome It escalated quickly Okay let's see it He's exactly who we hired him to be What are you saying bro Shut up

What do you mean stop Run your mouth I didn't run my mouth That's what I'm for Focus on PSP Chat shit get banged Adidja said I'm on what

He's on Chelsea now What He's on Chelsea now Where you? He's on Chelsea now. Where are you in the lead? Where are you in the lead? Third. Where? Third.

Where are we? First. Where? First. Louder. Yeah, you're right. Like a drill instructor. Put him in the back.

You're coming down with the Christmas lights, Paul. Another L. Another L. You're coming down with the Christmas lights. Another L. Huh? Hold that. You're coming down with the Christmas lights.

Hold that. Are you playing today? Hold that. Oh, that didn't get serious. We're the only team playing today. We're the only team. It seemed like it more. He was sitting there when he first brushed off Spider and started speedwalking.

I was like, I didn't know who he was mad at and who he was going for. That was regular troops. What the situation was, yeah. The realest. Yeah. Where you blood? Oh, no. Well, it's rubbing off on Zah a little little bit because Za, obvious Team Portnoy guy,

will fire at Dave on Twitter being like, hey, did you like that shit? Yeah. Busting Dave's balls. Should I go try to sit on Troop's lap? Yeah, he looks Chelsea huge. Is Arsenal losing right now? I think it's tied. Should I go try to sit on his lap?

Yeah, you got it. Wait, I think this is the one where you change the channel. Oh. Because he's proven that his best content is... How do I get the remote? He will lose it. They got you. They know exactly how to do it.

Even you go do it. I don't want to do that. The second you walk in, he's going to know something's up. Walk in. Just do it from the outside. Just crack that window a little bit right there. Like sneak up. He said he can do it from here.

You can turn off the lights from here? Oh my God. Oh my God. This is a lot of power. Can you turn off like three of them? Turn off three of them. All of them. No, let's just start with three.

Let's go one at a time. Yeah, yeah. One at a time. I can't do like, yeah, I can do one at a time. I can't do three at once. All right, do one at a time. So yeah, one will go out. Which way are they looking?

One of the middle ones. Start with the middle one. Oh, we're terrible people. This is so good. This is a lot of power. Oh, fuck. He's ready to explode, too. Bro, well, I was looking forward to this. He's ready to explode too Bro Well

I was looking forward to this Now that this has come It's just kind of like I should have just stayed in bed What are they losing? Looks like they have It's uh We're on like delay so

Did you do it? Oh they're about to score against them? No No we just turned the TVs off But it's on delay Which Did you do it? Oh, they're about to score against them? No, we just turned the TVs off, but it's on delay. Which TV? Just one? Bottom middle. Okay, bottom middle. He was a Man United striker back in the 2000s.

How many screens are there? Playing it? Six. Do another. Do another. Do another Do another Do another Kim Lovely pants today Yeah

Flowing He got the Oh Who No card Oh No card Keep getting us

No card Okay Have one of them gone off yet? Yo, why are these fucking TVs turning off? No snitch tags. No snitch tags. Go another one. Do another one. Do another one.

Quick, quick, quick. Just leave one left. Yeah, let him turn it back on. It's funny because you'd, you'd think he would eventually realize the yak is going on right now. Maybe we should throw him off. Should I text him and be like, what the fuck's up with the TV? Yo. I'm one of the tech guys.

I think we're okay. Bro, they keep falling one by one. they keep falling one by one They keep falling one by one Grab the tech out They keep falling one by one Do another one He's gonna know Don't be obvious

It's gonna be obvious Alright do another one Leave him with just one Bro we're losing TVs Alright, do another one. Leave him with just one. Bro, we're losing TVs. Wait, let's wait until there's like 15 people. If one of you guys want to... It's down to one. Tell the tech guys to play along.

It's got to be like when a house, like a castle's getting invaded. They might actually be mad. Yeah. They love this. Oh, Jet Ski. It's time. Big Cat's probably doing it.

Hey, Big Cat, don't piss me off, big man. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not, no, don't laugh. Don't fucking laugh. I'm not laughing. Do not laugh. Do not laugh. Tommy looks cute.

Do not laugh. Do not laugh. Do not laugh. I'm not playing. Don't take this shit. I'm not laughing. I'm here to fix the TV. Don't bring your left man in here, bro.

I'm not. I'm not laughing, but you have to have a touch. Don't fucking, don't play with me, bro. The TV's off. Don't play with shit. I'm not. Don't bring your left man in here, bro. I'm not. I'm my life, but you have to have a touch. Don't fucking, don't play with me, bro. The TV's off. Don't play with me, bro. They asked me from the tech room to come fix the TV's. You fuck off about fixed TV. Go on your fucking show.

Are we winning? Go on your show. Are we winning? Go on your show, blab. Oh, man. I miss you on the show. I miss you too. Don't listen to him.

Fuck you. What? Fuck you. Are we winning? Fuck you, miss. Fuck you, miss. Don't listen to him. Fuck you. What? Fuck you. Are we winning? Fuck you, miss. Fuck you, miss. You look good at least. Bro, what's that?

I don't know. Bro, I don't know. These are certain ones. These men are saying it's these pussyholes. It's not us. It fucking is you. It's always fucking you. It's always fucking him! Swiss fucking him!

That was a lot of fun. Oh, shit. I like that. Well, she's born in a barn! Shut the fucking door! Yeah, I love it. Oh, no. Is he coming this way?

Turn the bar down. Turn the bar down. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, good. Yeah, we got numbers. Don't let him in. Barricade the door.

Oh, he's back. He's there. Take that. What I want, bro? You mentioned a fuck in my life, Take that. One more, bro. You're the man who's gonna fuck my life, bro. Fucking dickheads, bro. It is like someone

tried to storm the castle and he's like, we warded them off. Don't worry, blood. I don't trust you. Enemy's at the gates. All right, don't fuck with him anymore.

That was very funny. Actually, now. Actually, now that he's here. We're good, bro. Take that, Andrew. The man. The main man, the big man. That was fun. That was so much fun. Who snitch tagged, though?

Yeah, we got it. I think Zah figured it out. No, because Jetski said it first. Is there anything else we can do with those controls? What other controls do we have? I'd love to. We got a loudspeaker PA announcing system Is there anything else we can do with those controls? What other controls do we have? I'd love to. We got a loudspeaker PA announcing system in the office.

Yeah, but where is that? It's in there? That's in the back tech room. By the way, Troops does have every right to be pissed. If that happened to me, I'd be furious. He still had one TV. It was a big TV. The game never went off. He had one on.

The game never went off. That had one on that's you can't the game never went off that's a fact down to one TV can we play a fart over the speaker can we play a fart over the

loud speaker here do you have a fart in you a real fart would be way better I can't do it anymore I lost the ability to fart now I'm just like

shitting all the time but not farting. That was some scorpion shit. You'll have fartless shits? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's normal. Really? I mean, normal.

I mean, a shit is the same mechanism. Yeah, it doesn't make the conventional fart sound. Since we're talking about this. Should we ask him? No, no. These ladies look fancy. They are fancy. They're taking a picture. Pick a K him? No. These ladies look fancy. They are fancy. They're taking a picture.

Pick a K. Did you shorten your name? That's what my dad calls me. Too lazy to type out B. K? I've had a couple times in the last month where I've taken a shit and I forgot to pee. What? And I went back to pee.

That's a conscious thing that you do? I don't know. Think about the pee? I don't know. Your body just forgot to pee. What? And then I went back to pee. That's a conscious thing that you do? I don't know. Think about the pee? I don't know. Your body just forgot to pee. Yeah. Or actually, that could be a prostate. Is there something wrong with me?

That could be a prostate. Yeah, it's probably cancer. No, just you have to eat grapefruit juice or some shit now. Think about how, like, it's a very morbid thing to think about, but if I did have cancer, like, the internet would really rally behind me. Oh. We'd sell so many rubber bracelets. It would be pretty sick. What would be your yellow rubber bracelet?

Strong like Dan. Your poker chip. Yeah, that'd be dope. Would you want people being like, oh, he's so strong, the strongest guy I've met? No, I'd be like, no, he's going to give up. Then we'd go fight like Dan. Yeah, but I just be like, no, he's going to give up. Then we'd go fight like Dan. Yeah. But I wouldn't even...

I'd be like, no, no chemo. I'll just die. Go down like Dan. Yeah, go down like Dan. Die like Dan. Die like Dan. Beautiful. No, you'll be good.

Yeah. You're solid. Yeah. Just got to stick some stuff up your butt and massage that prostate down to a normal size. I am getting close to... Don't they do... I have to do a prostate exam. I think it's like 40. Colon exams, too.

You gotta do that shit. They're recommending earlier than 40. I might start. Don't they have, though, the technology they don't have to put the finger up the butt? I think it's more just a hobby. I'm praying we get tech. Can you poop in that box now? Yeah, I think you can poop in a box.

I see the commercials for it. It's like Cola Guard, no free ads. Yeah. Interesting, you just poop in a box. I think you poop in a box and they tell you. You just can tell if it's splattered all over the place. It's like, yeah, you got a problem here. We brought Malasek into anus yesterday.

He's pooping in a jar for us. What? We're doing a science experiment. Oh, my God. We want to know, A, how long does it retain its odor? Oh my god. So once it dries out, it's odorless. But then,

this is where Kyle and I got into a little bit of a tiff. I think if you dunk it in water, the smell will come back. Kyle thinks you can make a scentless turd. He thinks if you continue to spray... No. You wait for it to dry completely and then re-dunk it. You think it would bring back the stink? I think the stink would be back.

Now I'm interested. I say no. So Malasek's shitting a jar for us. He bisected it so we have two samples. You have a jar of his shit right now? Malasek's keeping it in his apartment. I don't want to bring that shit in. Oh, man.

What about petrified dinosaur shit that exists? I don't believe that's real. Oh, you think it's just... I think it's mud. Rock? Yeah, or rock. I don't know, but why would there be, you know, proteins and stuff in it? All right.

Is there proteins in it? There's got to be some reason that they think that. You think you're smarter than a geologist? Yeah. Oh, shit. An archaeologist? You think you're smarter than a geologist, bro? I'm not smarter than a geologist.

At geology? But, I mean, maybe it's not geology if it's not actually a stone. Geologist? You think you're smarter than a geologist, bro? I'm not smarter than a geologist. Geology? But I mean, maybe it's not geology if it's not actually a stone. Why don't we have a famous geologist? Yeah, what do they do? Do they have offices? My buddy Tyler's a geologist. But why don't we have like a Neil deGrasse Tyson of geology? We do.

Who? No, we do need one. Yeah, Tyler. Want my boy Tyler to do it? Yeah. All right. Neil deGrasse Tyson gets on my fucking nerves, dude. He does?

He acts like he's the only scientist. You can't let him bother you, though. He's been a bitch. He's trained. Bill Nye played it way more cool. Bill Nye, though, didn't he get exposed for just fake science? People say he's an asshole in public. Oh.

He got cordoned? Yeah. I don't think. Did you guys ever watch that clip of Corden and Patrick? Who's this star? Stomp. Patrick Stewart?

Is that his name? The Star Trek guy? Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever see the interaction they had at an awards show? No. Can you play it, TJ? It's one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever seen.

Like they're fighting? Yeah. On a podium. Patrick Stewart probably takes himself too seriously, though. James Corden does, too. Patrick Stewart should.

He's a knight. Yeah, right. Sir Patrick Stewart. Who else is a knight? Elton John's bitch ass. They hand him out. They hand him out. Lower level dudes.

You hand him out. Lewis Hamilton. Prince Charles. If you're a woman, do you become a dame? A dame, yeah. A broad. Judy Dench. I think it's a broad.

It's a broad. Yeah, you become a broad Judy Dench. And the dude gets to fuck you. That's Sass's girl. Unless you hide out like Anne Frank. Just going out for broads. I want to speak to James here. It's James, isn't it?

Oh, God. This is young James, Dan. When the presenters are up here and when the recipients are receiving their awards, don't stand at the back of the stage with your hands in your pockets looking around as though you wished you were anywhere but here.

Oh, you couldn't be more wrong, sir. You couldn't be more wrong. Oh, genuinely. And if it looked like that, I'm so sorry. Did they write this? But when you come up and win an award, just get on with it. There we go. Yeah, I kind of agree.

That was a cordon d'oeuvre. From where I'm sitting, I can see your belly. No, blah, blah. That's what I mean. And that was right over there The back of the room These people down here What?

Sorry I'm waiting for the punchline Oh my god No seriously Yeah Okay No go on You can see my belly And we can all see you dying right now

Let's go Oh I'm on two Court it up Court it up I'm saying Oh my god You can see my belly and we can all see you dying right now. Let's go. Oh. Court it up. Court it up. That's what I'm saying. One more. All right. Do you want one more?

No. Oh, you're losing. If you fancy the Jonas Brothers, cover your belly. I don't even get that one. What does that mean? Because he was covering his belly right there, and so he's saying, you're gay for the Jonas Brothers.

I like your belly, so... Oh, jeez. Oh, man. This is brutal. It's so awesome. Oh, my God. Called him a fat. What's going on? Yeah, they're so bad.

But I would pay to see Sir Patrick Stewart dying on stage any day, so. For the people that haven't seen my belly, is there anyone who hasn't got a... It's just there. Okay, can we get a taxi ready, please? Damn. God damn it, I'm Team Corden.

I know. Once again, dude, I'm still waiting for him to take an L out here. You're right. That was good. So you're on Patrick Stewart's side? Yeah, he's a sir. Why are you on his side? He just bullied him and tried to give him hosting advice.

Belly shamed him. Glamour Awards. Yeah. Belly shaming him? Imagine if someone seriously tried to belly shame Awards. Yeah. Belly shaming him? Imagine if someone seriously tried to belly shame Hank. He did what? He belly shamed me. When? Hank ain't no knight.

He called me a fat fuck with like real vitriol. When? PMT a couple weeks ago. It was hate. It was hate. It was awesome. Remember when Brandon did that to Mince? Yeah. He was like, you big titty bitch! He was so mad. People breaking out of anger is awesome.

Yeah. Wait. Now that I'm thinking about it, is it the contract that did Brandon in, or is it when he became king of the south again? Oh, my God. Heavy lies the crown. Should he have to cede? Get him back on the phone.

I don't think he's going to want to do Get him back on the phone. I don't think he's going to want to do this. Oh, my God. I think he's going to say it was all worth it. I think it's as soon as he became the king of the south. Well, he made a deal with the devil, it sounds like. Yeah. He got the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world, become king of the south, and then everything has fallen apart from him.

I almost showed my belly. Damn, did you? Your fat belly? Almost did. Thank God I didn't. Yeah, vitriol is when people lose control and just vitriol. Especially British people because they try to be put together about it, but they're losing it inside.

Yeah. One thing that I'd recommend to you Yeah they sound so cordial And they're just I feel like they always yell in the last bit Blah blah blah good sir And I say good day sir Yeah good day Fuck you and your mother

But it's crazy that James Corden And that was obviously early in his career Maybe before he even had the James Corden show Was that was obviously early in his career, maybe before he even had the James Corden show, was that confident when Patrick Stewart shit on him. True. And he was just like, your job's to fuck off, Patrick Stewart. That was good. Quick-witted, I'll say it. Quick-witted,

not afraid of the moment. Dick to Patrick Stewart. He's a legend, dude. It's a bummer that Patrick Stewart's kind of a dick Yeah I was thinking James Corden reminded me of the kid from Heavyweights He looked like him

Yeah, he did Which one? So I looked him up and the guy is stunning now No way, Jerry from Heavyweights? Skinny, jawline Aaron Schwartz Jerry from Heavyweights? He was on that Josh Peck glow-up

Drake and Josh. That guy's glow up was crazy. He more Neville Longbottom. Neville Longbottom, that's exactly right. She's saying Neville. Neville, Neville, Hermione, Hermione. But he got super hot too. Yeah, he got real hot.

Very hot. Whoa, that's Jerry? Holy shit. Whoa. All right. It's about to take an acting job from Sass. I want that. All right.

He's got big nipples. Those are still fat guy nipples. He's still got fat guy nipples. We can tell. I have the same nipples. Can't shake your past. Nope. These are the hot guys that ladies like me have a shot with because they harbor old insecurity.

Yeah. Really sneak in there. But they're also probably the meanest people because of the self-loathing. Yeah. Really sneak in there. But they're also probably the meanest people because of the self-loathing. You're right. They're always so mean. They're mean as fuck. A buddy whose bachelor party I was at,

high school, ugliest dude, fat. He had a crescent moon shaped head. And the DreamWorks kid was fishing off his chin. And he got surgery to fix his jaw and his mouth had to be wired shut for like three months. Came back the next year skinny as fuck. He's a great looking guy. Great looking guy.

Not mean. Not mean. No confidence still. No confidence whatsoever, but just so nice. Because I think those guys get mean because they work out, and they're like, I got in fucking shape. Why can't you? So he can't take any of the credit for how he got skinny. His jaw was wired shut.

Right. It's the fat guy who gets skinny who then looks at all the other fat people and like, well, it's not that hard. Why didn't you do what I did? Yeah. Stop eating, bro. Why aren't you me? Yeah, those people dislike fat people more than anybody.

Yeah. I'll never get skinny. I promise. What if you get jaw surgery? Put it back on. Find a way to just drink milkshakes the whole time. Yeah. Just go milkshake crazy.

Yeah. Drink syrup. I would like to get ripped. Just for a minute. So I wore like an ab suit yesterday and I really liked the way I looked. Yeah. You looked so good. Yeah.

It almost looked natural. Like, you could pull it off where it wouldn't be like, if you just, like, showed us that you had that right now. When Tommy got buff was different than if you got buff. Do we have any buff Tommy photos?

Because I, look at that. Yeah, it looks real. Oh, damn, dude. If that was a poor quality pic, it would look real. That's, it looks real. Just the right arm is the only place

where there's, like, a little, but since you have tattoo arms, it kind of looks like it. It looks real. Just the right arm is the only place where there's like a little. But since you have tattoo arms, it kind of looks like it. Oh, yeah. I was just like, yeah, all right. Just wear that around. Can you just wear that? Probably. Sass has to go nude for the calendar.

He'd throw this on him. Yeah, good point. Sass was supposed to wear that, but he didn't want to because of his rash. And because he told you he couldn't fit in it? He said he'd be bubbling out the bottom of it. Bigger than him. Like putting too much sausage in a case. This calendar's not going to work out for Sass.

Look at that. Ew. Was that heavy? What was this for? It's very comfortable. The Southern Comfort commercial yesterday. Wow. And the commercial's going to be very good and very funny.

But KB's head, his prosthetic head, was so smooth. comfort commercial yesterday. Wow. And the commercial is going to be very good and very funny. But KB's head, his prosthetic head was so smooth. I couldn't stop rubbing his tip. It had like a really awesome indent. So like you pressed,

it was almost Tempur-Pedic. I could jump on his head and not spill a glass of wine. What? What, how long did it take to get that off?

It's still on my neck if you can see. Oh yeah, it is. Yeah. Take that off. It still will not come off it's nasty it won't come off what is it like latex it's very sticky like i've tried like using like a razor and a knife story the post owen episode episode 314 that's saint louis shout shout out Nelly shout out Saint Lunatics Saint Lunatics shit you ripped it off that episode

and it came off pretty easily yeah damn how'd you pull that off these GTA cops are getting better and better

oh can we watch one that was one of my favorite things I want to watch it I've missed yeah I've missed these.

I would like a piece. I might just do a pizza a day. The baby that's been lighting them up? The baby that keeps on shooting them? I rarely stumble upon them, so I'm not in deep. Or I just saw a slew of them with a genocidal baby.

Strapped up baby. Did you just send it through to TJ? Yeah. That's so fucking sick. Awesome. People are doing crazy shit with video games. I've been watching the VR. They're getting real funny with it.

People are just doing nutty shit. Working at a gas station as a clerk. It's the funniest thing ever. And they're just slow playing it? I think he hires characters or gets them in on it. Everyone help yourself. Thank you, Big Cat. Pizza.

Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Yeah, or did you see the guy that built the universe in Minecraft? Yeah. Oh, that huge... Minecraft artists. Minecraft Minecraft? Yeah. Oh, that huge. Minecraft artists. Minecraft guys are awesome. Oh, my gosh.

86 in a 40. He's going double the speed limit. And if the guy pulled over. Right away. You have to. You're going to jump. Holy crap. All righty.

Hello, sir. Madison Police Department. Officer Austin. Today I'm pointing because. Madison Police Department. Officer Austin. Today I'm pointing because you were going 86 on a 40. That's over double the speed limit. Yeah, I'm trying to get my kid to dance practice. He's late. That's way too fast.

That passed me late. Austin, you want to see my dance moves? Not really. Austin, get back in the car. Wait, somebody's roleplaying as a kid? But they're good. I don't care. I don't want to see them. Just go away, get back in the car for me please.

I don't like you talking to me like that. Okay look, drop the gun dude. Oh my god! Ash would've loved this. Do not move dude. Dude no! He's gonna have CPR! Do not move, dude. You just saw a dude like that? He's got CPR. He's trying to revive his boy. He's got CPR.

Pull up the one where the baby claps back. They're like, holy fuck, is that a baby? Do we have any water in the office? Some people have it hoarded on their desk. Some people grab like three cases and put it under their desk. Or there's like stacks of them on certain people's desks. Those are the only children in the office. And I don't know why Glennie does that.

Holy fuck! 160? Goddamn. Jesus fucking... Oh my god. Go get him. Go get him. Go get him. I'm fucking zooming myself

trying to catch up to the fucker. Oh, he's pulling over. Okay, okay. Jesus Christ, man. I thought we were gonna have a high-speed chase on our hands here. Who is it? One item, one.

I got a traffic stop with a black GTR. It's gonna be eastbound, east Vinewood. Sorry, Muir Park. This rocks so hard. Oh, well, I'll get a 32 if he's needed. All right. Get the fuck out! Get out!

Get out! The fucking baby! Wow, wow, motherfucker. Oh my god! Holy! It was a fucking baby. Wow, wow, motherfucker. Fucking damn, he's a cliff.

Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. That shit rules. Damn. I watched another. How does that go down? Everyone just is on the honor system. They have to...

Yeah. They're playing in the world, yeah. So, yeah, role-play servers. So if you don't abide, they'll just ban you from it. But I assume that everyone just does exactly what happens that we've watched, where they just get pulled over

and then they pull a gun. There's, like, Second Life type shit where people have, like, careers in there and stuff and have, like, reputation on server. Oh, people get, like, married in there and, like, have whole second... What? City guy type shit. Second Life, yeah. And like have whole second... What? City guy type shit.

Second Life and VR chats, 50% real people that spend their life there, 50% like me or people that are in high school just going in to fuck with those people.

Wait, you? Every once in a while. So... That'd be a blast. Yeah, just going in and fucking shit up. People that aren't playing as cops,

where is the fun? It's only... Well, I think... Breaking the law. Yeah, but don't get caught. You break the law and you never, you know, don't get caught, get away with it. Like that baby that... What's it like being in jail, though, TJ?

Do you know what it's like when they're actually locked in? I was in Minecraft jail once. My friend put me there for stealing a bunch of diamonds off the top of our hotel. And it was just real-time jail. I was just in there for two weeks. I just couldn't play the game. I was in a cell. If I logged on, I was in a cell.

That's great. You couldn't try to escape? There was no escape. I had no, like, I couldn't break any blocks. I was disabled from doing anything, pretty much. That would be awesome if they, like, made you play in game minutes in jail. Like, your sentence only was enacted

when you were playing the game. So you had to spend two weeks in real time. I knew if you were, like, AFK, you had to move the keyboard, like, every time. When Penn was in here, he has a real-time game that's sort of like a punishment like that called Desert Bus that they released in the 80s, where it's just an eight-hour bus trip from, like, Reno to San Antonio. On a straight road, and it and it goes like kind of diagonal yeah so you can't take your thumb off it and if you make it the whole eight hours in real time

you get one point yeah Zob would probably love that shit yes he would I think John Mayer liked that shit too really not to fucking dox him no he doxed him I just doxed the fuck out of him games like that makes like a lot of money. The farming sim, if you get farming sim with all the expansion packs, how much is it? Like 30 grand? Gotta be. It's an awesome way to make money. Dude, speaking of doxing people, though, I tweeted this today, but I learned yesterday

that Diddy gets his hair cut every six hours. No. What? Every six hours. No. He gets his hair cut every six hours. How? How? No. No. No. No. Jeff D'Lo reading this. He'll just trim him up. He said he had a show the other night, and on the way

to the show, the barber cut his hair, and then again, as he was walking to the stage, the barber cut his hair again. That kind of rules. How much hair is he getting? It has to be the minimal amount. Yeah, that's what I mean. Is he just pretending to... He's got to be taking it. That's a great job for the barber.

Yeah, but he says he'll be talking. He expects the barber to be moving with him, so he could gesticulate like crazy or fucking whip his head around. The barber has to move with Diddy. So the barber's faking it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

That's also one of those, like when you get so rich, you have to figure out new like, new ways to... Spend money, look fresh. Yeah, or, like, just make your life, like, I don't know, like... That was awful. It's like when Zuckerberg tried to eat whatever he killed. Remember that phase? It's like, dude, just...

That's what a McDonald's... That's lamer than, like, living in VR. Yeah. What? Getting your hair cut every six hours? What makes living in VR any lower than just living your life? It's not real. Fair question.

Anyone said that? Yeah. I had no hate for VR people. That's dope. I probably do, but... No, I don't. I just said I don't. I just said I don't.

Better. Because most of the things you're doing in real life don't matter. Correct. Yeah. And the only you're doing in real life don't matter. Correct. And the only sensation is getting sucked and fucked. As soon as that technology is captured. Yeah, exactly, which has got to be coming. The VR headset and then an auto-blow. There's got to be some shit like that

that will completely remove us from human contact. Blade Runner 2049 style. Which I thought was a good movie, but not as good as they say it was. Who's that? Lights, Camera, Bar, Stool. Oh, it's a top 30 movie for them.

Yeah, it's like a perfect hundred. Did everyone get a slice? I'm about to get a slice. Steven, you want to grab the pizza for you guys? I think there's a perfect amount of slices. Jerry style. I don't know. I'm not a Jerry style guy, But yeah, bring this in there.

Steven, grab the pizza. We'll get the slice. Oh, yeah, a little drizzle. Some art in the studio if you look at Brandon's shelf. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Colin's here. Always watching us.

Should we take him off the group chat? No. I don't know. Colby doesn't work for, I don't know, Tim Dillon's not a competitor, but. Owen's here. Yeah, Owen is here. Today? Yeah, he's a guest on KFC Radio.

Oh, shit. Maybe he'll get hired. I don't want to see him because then that would blow the. Oh, you're fucked. Over, yeah. You're fucked. Fuck, I got to hired. I don't want to see him because then that would blow the... Oh, you're fucked. Over, yeah. You're fucked. Fuck, I got to make sure I don't see him. I mean, I want to keep him on.

I was just asking the question. My thing is he probably doesn't need all those texts. Right. Bad for him. I think Colby likes it because... His life's boring and it sucks. It sucks and he regrets every day that he left this place. Owens.

Can Owen say... Can Owen say gay slurs now? No. Yes. I think he can. Yes. Yeah, like you work on the Tim Dillon Show. I think you're allowed to.

How can I be gay? Yeah. What is that? How can I be gay? Yeah What is that? How is it? How can I be homophobic? Yeah my bitch is gay British rap is really I don't know it sucks

They were meant for drill rap The accent works with it That M for the B M for the B That girl rapper one is really good. By the way, NASCAR this weekend, Florida. It's Dixie Vodka 400 race weekend, 2.30, October 23rd. We got a bunch of Barstool personalities down there.

I think Spider's there. Eddie's there. I assume Large is there. Guarantee your 2022 Dixie Vodka weekend experience today. Adult tickets as low as $49 and kids 12 and under start at $10. Homestead Miami Speedway Dixie Vodka 400. It will be a critical second race of three in the round of eight for the Cup Series playoffs. The Dixie Vodka 400 marks the first time on the one and a half mile venue for NASCAR's next gen car.

Check it out. Buy tickets. Go see Spider, Large, Eddie. Who else is going? I'm going to Pat. Pat's a big one. Mean Girls. The Mean Girls are going?

Yes. Pat's going? That's a big NASCAR guy. Is he? Yeah. He's been to a bunch. Pat? I'm guessing. Maybe. I don't know. I went to one. They are a good time. Yeah. He's been to a bunch. Pat? I'm guessing.

Maybe. I don't know. I went to one. They are a good time. Yeah, they're very fun. Tailgate. That was fast. Once Sass gets into it, he'll probably be obsessed with it over it.

Yeah, he'll be a driver. I went to the one in Vegas. It was sick. It's just a very cool culture. Yeah. Yeah. They party. Yeah, and it's just fun to watch cars go fast.

They are who they are. Yep. You ever hear of the term waffle bellies? No. Those are the fans that hang on the fence in the infield to watch. Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. Waffle bellies.

Waffle bellies. I'm still thinking about Penn being in here. Yeah. Kudos to us for not asking where Teller was. Yeah. Did they have a falling out? Yeah, it would have been lame. How do you have a fallout with Teller was. Yeah. Did they have a falling out? Yeah, that would have been lame. How do you have a fallout with Teller?

Did Penn and Teller have a falling out? Oh, yeah. They did? They did? No. Yeah. Roan. Are you fucking with us?

Yeah, come on. Anybody who's in a duo here is fucked. Yeah. Can you Google our Penn and Teller friends? Can we know? I mean, Google won't know. Penn has to make more money, right? I think, yeah, he talks.

I think they had a falling out. Don't tell me that. About what? Duo, respect each other as business partners and enjoy working together. Have little in common besides magic. As a result of their drastically different lifestyles and interests,

they rarely socialize or interact when they're not working. Are they still... Can you buy tickets to Penn and Teller right now? Are these bros gay? Hey. Are they? Mm-mm. No.

Top thing was just, are they in a relationship? They just went on out and about. Okay, so this is... They have a partnership that lasts. They're partners. You think Teller ever just really wants to talk? He goes right before they

go out, like, how about I talk tonight? Yeah. He's silent bombs. I was like, nah. Maybe tomorrow. You shut up, idiot. You guys want my crust? Dude, that's the best piece. Alright, go ahead and have the crust then. You're such a crust.

All the shows are canceled. Whoa! Whoa! Why? Oh, no. Uh-oh. All canceled. They follow each other on Instagram?

That's a good one. Yep. It has to be annoying to be Teller too because I feel like anywhere he goes in public every time he talks to order like a coffee

or whatever people are probably like oh can't believe I'm hearing your voice like it just has to that probably has been happening to him for decades now.

Probably drives you nuts. Teller has surgery? Does he get bit by a tiger? Did that guy die who got bit by the tiger? Yeah. He did. Not because of that.

Oh, okay. You see the wrestlers who fended off the bear? Yes, holy shit. Oh, wait. Oh, no. Close my eyes. I'm closing my eyes.

I'm closing my eyes. Is he here? It's not him. It's not him. All right. Wait. The whole KFC Radio's crew? That was close. Do they always walk and order a salary?

Nope. They have to. Should we spin the wheel? The guy that painted that also painted another one, and he asked if we could use them for slush phone auctions. Yes. The painting of you is the second one. Beautiful.

Ooh, I kind of want that. There's a picture of Sass that just got painted that's at his desk. It's huge and awesome. You guys see that? Oh, the nipples. Sad clown. Yeah, that one's fire right there. Yeah, that one makes me hurt.

You should buy it yourself. I know. It's from Nerdy Gallo. Gallo. I like that painting. I want that. We're low-key an art show, too. Oh, look at that.

High key. High key. Can you give me audio for this? Yeah, he shits and shits. Yo, I want that. Yeah, that's sick. I don't want to sell that. No, you got to buy it from the auction.

All right. We actually have a whatnot auction after the stream today, after the show. We do? Yep. It's Frank the Tank's destroyed Mets hat. Oh. What's the opening bid? 3.30 p.m.

The opening bid is that we give you money with it. That is quite... Oh, is that Funyun? Is that Funyun Dust? Oh, that's Frito-Lay. Oh. Whoa. That's more than chewed.

Yeah, that one has been... What's interesting about that hat, that's the hat that he wore. I believe he wore that in the video, his initial viral video. Oh. So when he was going to opening day, that was the opening day. Wow. That is historic. Let me know when he's selling his broken Roomba.

Or his broken pants. Yeah. He wants to sell those. I know. Yeah, he wants to sell all his broken stuff. He wants to sell his pants. I don't. Yeah.

It'll be interesting to see who buys that. Someone paid $150 for the cast last weekend, which was also, I think, the lowest of any of our bids of anything that we've ever sold. So I think that we're maybe bottoming out on them. You think they sniffed it when they got it? I don't know. Hopefully they just bought it so we wouldn't have to see it anymore and they just threw it in the trash. I love that. Charity. Reverse charity.

A little reverse charity. I love reverse charity. So where did Owen go? I don't want him to see you. No! If I don't see him, it doesn't count. You would have to leave right now.

You're on Medusa time. Yeah, I am. Let's spin the wheel. Let's spin the wheel. Let's spin that shit. I can't believe you talked all that shit about your favorite piece being the crust, and you're you've left the crust for 20 minutes to harden.

You hear that? I hear nothing. He's eating. I don't hear Nathan. Oh, fuck. I don't like this. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I don't like this. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, painting. Okay, one of us has to paint.

Wait, what is this? Yeah, I don't know what this is. Wait, wasn't this we let Chilla Michelle paint one of us, but she gets to imagine what our genitals are? No, that's what you wanted it to be, and no one agreed to that. You kept on pushing that, and no one agreed to that. I think I was kind of about it. That's kind of funny.

What is this? We all had to do a painting, and there was going to be another wheel for what we had to paint, and it's something we had to auction off. I don't remember this. Okay. I like the chilling with Chells thing. I think we should do that.

She has to paint us and imagine what our genitals are. She has to imagine our genitals? I don't know if that's... Then this is also like, she doesn't work here, so that's tricky. We're just giving her work for our punishment. Well, no, we'd pay her. Right. In what? I will... There we go. Shroop bucks.

I'd pay her. Cole's cash. What does the chat want us to do? I mean, that would be very funny. I look like I have a small dick. Yeah, but you don't know. She could be nice. She ain't nice.

The chat sort of nixed this idea and is just saying, add mustard covered to the wheel. Mustard covered? Mustard covered for Stephen Che. 20 people have said that. All right, so I'm down for the other thing. What was the other thing? We paint something?

Nah, no painting. No chilling. Add a mustard. What is that? Yeah, no painting. No chilling. Adam's mustard. What is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So which one are we doing? Chilling with Chells? We all have to bring in a painting.

What if you have to do a mustard painting with your mouth? What if one of us has to paint someone else here and imagine their genitals? There we go. All right. Two wheels. So we have, yeah, an employee wheel. So we have to, oh, a male employee wheel probably. No, no, it's everyone in here.

Okay. Okay. It's the act. We spin who's getting painted, and then we spin who has to paint. And we'll get all the designs and stuff, and someone will do it during a show. Hear me out. With the easel and everything. We spin, and we get two names, but they have to paint each other.

And then reveal at the same time. Okay, I like that a lot. Okay, so two names. It was two names. Yeah. It has to be nude. Oh, yeah. But only genitals.

They're wearing a shirt? Like belly button to above the knee. Would we be able to sketch it with like a pencil? Yeah, of course. Of course. Of course. Yeah, dude. All right, nice. Of course. What is this? Your first? It has to be like with a pencil? Yeah, of course. Of course. Of course. Yeah, dude. All right, nice.

Of course. What is this, your first one? It has to be a charcoal pencil or something artistic. It can't be a Ticonderoga. You could sharpen it with a knife. You're acting like this is the first time you've ever drawn one of your coworkers naked. I think Nick, we have done this. He gave me a dick nose, though.

Or no, you gave yourself a dick nose. No, I want the people who get decided to take it very seriously. Yeah. And then wait, can we at the end then have the followers decide which one they like best and that person gets either some kind of prize or the loser has to buy them? Yeah, yeah. Some kind of cunt, like the best painting kind of thing? We could auction it.

Oh, yeah. And then they could get the, yeah. Whichever painting goes for more, yeah. Okay. Full body genitals. Yep. No, no, yeah. And then they can get the, yeah. Whichever painting goes for more, yeah. Okay. Full body genitals. Yep. No, no, no. No, I want full body.

You wouldn't be able to, no. Yeah, you gotta be able to. That's not painting the genitals, though. No, I'm gonna, if I get picked, I'm gonna do an actual, like, full sketch of whoever I do, and then with a very tiny, small dick. Yep. I'm not, I'm not dick. Yep. I'm not.

I'm not doing tiny small. Huge balls. I'm doing really if I get roan wide. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah.

Do not do that. This is going to be very fun. Don't do that Nick. Jesus Christ. We'll do it during a show where they're painting I'm going to piss you off and knock your block off

if you try some shit like that. It's a paint duel. It's a paint duel. It's a paint duel. We'll have the people We'll have the two people sitting out there dueling paintings. We need to get berets for them.

Yep. Obviously. And a baguette. Maybe striped shirts. Yeah. Some wine. Remember the guy who used to paint in here

and get shit-faced? They might have to. He would get so fucked up. They might have to drink a liter of wine as they do it. I'm excited for this. Steven, will you be able to get all the

supplies so we can do this next week? Yeah. Two easels, four canvases. Maybe some sleepy French music on an accordion. I think you each have to have a bottle of wine beforehand. Yeah.

Because I'm finishing a bottle of wine. You've got to finish a bottle of wine beforehand. Yeah. Okay. Because if you finish a bottle of wine, you've got to finish a bottle of wine. Okay. I don't know who I'm rooting for. Is it you? Yes. Shit.

Hey, I will be part of the painting. Oh, it's me versus someone else. All right, all right. It's a paint tool. It's going to be part of the painting. Oh, it's me versus someone else. All right, all right. It's a paint tool. It's going to be me versus Roan. Oh. TJ. TJ.

Oh, shit, TJ. We might have to come to a truce before this Okay alright Yeah I'm ready I'm ready This will be fun Are you going to work TJ's dad into this painting at all? Maybe TJ will you be able to find someone who can run the board

For the show? Yeah Alright the paint tools While you're shit faced off a bottle of Cabernet How's your art skills? Very bad Very poor Kind of wish it was me.

You want to do it? No. Step in for TJ? That's fucked up. We should leave that on the wheel, though. Yeah, we'll leave paint tool on the wheel. Yeah, paint tool. Rearrange the show.

Rearrange. Hmm. Owen's not coming. Still no Owen. No Owen. I'm going to draw all of you I like the crush more than Nick does What's the update on the Danny Jackal project? Oh, yeah, you're filming that today, right?

She's here Is she? I thought she left No, I saw her Is she still here? I need to wait until she's gone to be like Hey, so what time are we doing this? What is it?

I agreed to do a video a month ago And I have no time and it was today or yesterday Oh that's tough And I didn't have the heart to tell her Hey John He's trapped in his little world. His little world. His little world.

His little itty-bitty world. On a Europe for the weekend. Yeah, can I draw all of you? No, I don't think that's what the wheel said. Oh, but TJ will be the main central part. I might draw all of you. You're an artist. I am.

I can do whatever I want. That's artistic. License. You're an artist. I am. I can do whatever I want. That's artistic. License. License, yeah. If you don't draw his dad pulling his dick like a piece of bubble gum. I'm going to need you to bring in

some pictures of your father, please. Why don't we finish off the wheel? Why don't we all do it? And have the show going on and you just pick who you're painting. What do you mean? So we'll spit out more names and I'll have to paint Roan. I'm down for that.

I do think it would be very funny. Like a bracket? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, we'll have you guys out there in the show. We'll just have them right here, all of our stuff.

Do the show as we're drinking bottles of wine. Yeah. Paint day. French music going on the entire time. I like that. We'll wear a beret. A beret? that. I'm going to wear a beret. A beret? Yes.

You look fly in a beret. I really think. You got a head for a beret? Yeah, good idea, Nick. All right, so just finish out the bracket. And so the last two people will be number one and two seeds who will have buys to the second round? Or how can we make it a bracket of ten people?

I don't know. And you have each other. Or we could just have everyone just have a partner and they have to draw them. And it would be a paint battle. Yeah, a paint battle. And so, like, if it's me versus Kyle, then it goes for sale. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Wait a minute. Do we sell them or do we have ten naked us? Oh, I think we do that. Yeah, naked. Naked us. Or is that a YouTube issue? No, it's art. Depends how good you are at art? Oh, I think we do that. Yeah, naked. Naked us. Or is that a YouTube issue? No, it's art.

Depends how good you are at art. Oh, I'm really good. We could. You're good at veiny cocks. Veiny cocks. Face and everything. This could be like a grand thing on whatnot where we do sell all of our paintings and it'll be an art auction.

Yeah. Whoever gets the most. Okay. All right. Yeah, so let's keep spinning. Let's see all the duels. We can have a gallery opening afterwards. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so let's keep spinning. Let's see all the duels. We can have a gallery opening after we invite the office to come look at our paintings.

What's so bad? What we really should do is we should have Kyle apply for a job as an artist and just bring all of our portfolio. An art teacher. A job as an artist. Where do you apply?

Showing up at an elementary school. Okay, so Sass is drawing. There is no way I'm painting. Brandon, and Brandon's drawing Sass. I was hoping Sass got Kate and got really uncomfortable. Is Brandon artsy? No. I don't think anyone here is artsy.

But Nick. I had to take painting classes in college. Kate, I'm giving you a cock. All right, yeah. Then you'd be correct. Oh, good. Give me Zah. Give me Zah.

Give me Zah. I want to have him standing on a pile of his dick. Oh, please. My God. Yay! Oh, yes. I want to have him standing on a pile of his dick. Please. My God. Yay! Oh, yes. Nick and Kate. Fuck yes.

A great partnership. Oh, she's going to be sitting right here looking. We'll have to switch or something. No, I think we'll stick with it. We'll just do like a two-hour yak, and we'll have the easels out there, because we have to still do the show. 20-minute paintings. Yeah, 20-minute paintings, yeah.

And then we'll wait to reveal them all at the end. Yeah. Is it too graphic if I don't give her a dick? Yes. Yeah. I think you've got to give her a dick. I had already thought it through. You've got to give her a dick.

You have to do it, yeah. All right, I'm going to give you a dick. That's fine. That's fine. This is really more of a penis painting competition than anything. KB is drawing. And this will determine the last two. KB, can you draw?

Are you? It's going to be ridiculous for people who walk from memory, but I can do this enough. In the office, I did. Yeah. We should be standing there. Zah. You lucky dog. KB, we stand in there? Zah. Lucky dog. Ronan Che.

There's going to be a mad dash of peach colored paint. You're going to. You don't need it. So, Stephen. Ronan. Ronan, how are you going to how are you going to approach this?

I'm going to draw a dick coiled around his leg. Yeah. So we need two easels and ten canvases. And then two sets of paint. We could just put one of those plastic tables out there on either end. Maybe like a tarp for the floor.

Maybe a tarp for the floor. Good call. And we'll have a paint bath. Maybe spunky blue jeans or some shit like that. Yeah. overalls. Oh, yeah. Everyone should have to dress for it. Ain't they?

Yeah. We'll just get some smocks. Smocks? I think smocks are childish. Real painters don't wear smocks like that unless they're like a house. Even house painters probably don't do shit. They probably have like coveralls.

Is everyone here next Friday? Yep. Let me check. Roan, Roan, Roan. Is everyone here next Friday? Yep. Let me check. Roan, Roan, Roan. Please, please, please say yes. I'm here. Please say yes. Please say yes.

28th, I'm here. Yes. Sass? I might not be. Oh. Change your plans. Change your plans. Tampa.

I think I'm on the earliest flight. It's going to be close. What's your flight? A Friday paint sesh would be great. Yeah, I land at like one. Change that. Okay, I'll look into changing it. Yeah.

You've got to do a tampon on a Friday night. I'm going to the game on Thursday. Oh, you're coming back. I'm coming back. Oh, yeah, then you're fine. If you land at one, we'll paint last. We'll paint last. Okay. Yeah, you just come right here.

Or if you want to try to come earlier. But you've got to at least have a glass of wine when you land in the airport to go in the right direction. I would like to do a whole bottle of wine. Yeah. Of course. I think I have to get on a flight to... I never make it. I have to get on a flight to Penn State, but I think it's not until, like, Friday night.

Yeah. Are you coming? I don't think so. I'm going to the Eagles game that Sunday. Against? Steelers. I'm going to that game, too. That's freaking me out.

Murder. Yeah. That's the one they lose. Oh. That's what I was already thinking. I was like, I'm going to be the one to change. In Philly? Yeah.

All right. Oh. Oh. Straight up. Oh. All right. Oh! Oh. Straight up. Oh! Straight up? And you guys always bet $10,000. Yes.

The last couple times. How many weeks is that from now? Next week. Next week? Next Sunday. They're not going to be $8,000. No, I'll tell you that much. So either this week or next week.

And they have a bye this week. So it will be... Oh, fuck. But they were not, because they'd be 7-0 if they won. Who do they play week 8? I'm just saying they will not make it to... Texans. Oh, no.

Play the Steelers, then the Texans. I'm trying to visualize Eagles 8-0 below at no. I have them at 12-0. Visualization. it, no. I have them at 12-0. Visualization. Oh, no. This man. This man. I don't know what the bet is, though.

There's no bet. It's just a fucking bet. It's a bet. It's a you were wrong, I was right. That's a bet. Which is the oldest bet. Yeah. That's a bet you can you know? It's a bet. It's a you were wrong, I was right. That's a bet. Which is the oldest bet. Yeah. That's a bet you can do.

This is the highest stakes. It's a true... I hate being wrong. And veracity. Damn. That shit's crazy. You have the Pels winning it all. I do.

I have the Pels winning it all, and I also think they're going to get the first overall pick. Jesus. How? The pick from the Lakers. If AD or Braun goes down, that's a... Ooh, they might not even have to go down. Sorry, Roan.

Why are you wishing this on? Why are you even putting that out into the universe? I just think it would be crazy to have a team win a championship and then... Well, the Eagles could get that this year. If the Saints are the worst team in the league and they win the championship, why not root for that? Why not root for something that could make lots of people happy and Ben Mintz sad? You're right. I'm switching. Now you're rooting for something that will make Ben Mintz happy and Ben Mintz sad? You're right.

I'm switching. Now you're rooting for something that will make Ben Mintz happy and a lot of people sad. You're right. I'm switching. The Hells are going to get the first overall pick because they're the worst team. The Lakers are going to win it all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Lakers will win it all. But they're... I don't know about that. It's going to be hard. I was enjoying Tico being mean to the Yankees fans. Oh, my God. Because they're reprehensible humans.

They were all texting me. They were texting me, like, help. Because it's like, there's nothing I can do. Yeah. It was awesome. Yep. I think there's footage of it from the gambling cave last night, and she was just.

Didn't even know the game was on. She walked by she is from Houston so she's like oh the Strohs are playing and then she just like it was so perfect because every time she would celebrate like Hubs or Tommy or someone would be like you didn't even know this game existed you don't even know

his war his war His name is War. I'm the ringer. Fuck you, Mickey, right? Run it back. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah, Cooper's there.

You're staying. You're staying. You're staying. Back to back. Back to back. They're going back to back. They weren't back to back. Stop.

Oh, yeah, TJ, you were there. Yeah, it was awesome. It was awesome? Yeah, it was. They keep correcting her. She didn't know any of the players' names. Of course not, but who cares? That's why it's awesome.

You guys trying to correct her was so fucking funny. So fucking funny. Yeah, it made her way more powerful. Yo, shout out to the... About them Strohs. Back to back. Back to back. Back to back. the... About them Strohs. Back to back. Back to back. Back to back.

Back to back. Back to back. Get sturdy on them. Why are you getting so sturdy on them? Back to back. Did y'all catch it? Yes. We just watched the clip.

We just watched the clip. We were just watching you in all your glory. Back to back. They were... Yeah, those nerds were mad. They're going to be more mad tonight after we win. Are you going to their stream? They're trying to ban me.

It's at a bar. Ban the snowman. Ban the snowman. Yo, you got to light them up, too. They were getting so mad. What time? 730. I'll pull up the video.

I got to do a stream with Rudy. Oh, yeah, that's your BFF. Yeah, I guess it is. That is your BFF, Kyle. You heard that? I noticed that. What's up, KB? What's up?

Feeling replaced? Jesus. Oh, yeah. BFF type shit? That's what I like. Owen left, and now he over there with Rudy all the time. Feeling replaced? All the time.

Goddamn baseball fans. Verbalizing like that. Yeah, that's fine shit yeah good luck tonight tico yeah get in their heads i appreciate that wait who is the fast food chain uh jack in the box back in the box are they out of here they just team tico you know down with tico game back to back love it that's a jack i shirt buy a back-to-back shirt all right good luck love you baseball watching thank you big cat thank y'all That's a jack. Buy a shirt. Buy a back-to-back shirt. All right. Good luck. Love you, baseball fans. Thank you, Big Cat. Thank y'all.

I cannot wait for the stream. Yeah. TJ, how mad are you? Blood red mad. So mad. She doesn't even know the players. Yeah. That shit is hilarious.

So funny. I mean, yeah. She wins. You didn't watch mean, yeah, she wins. You didn't watch any of the games this year. Back to back. She dances. What a brutal thing to say to someone, though. KB, you feeling replaced?

Not at all. She's bored. Not at all. Rudy can't read. Yeah, that's true. He's a dumb fuck. Him and Fasoli lock him in the room with some bear books. I don't know what would happen. They, that's true. He's a dumb fuck. Him and Fasoli, lock him in the room with some bear books.

I don't know what would happen. Yeah. They're dying in there. Kyle, you should come to Rudy's stream. It's a lot of fun. I do want to do it. I want to do GeoGuessr.

I got to do one of Rudy's streams too. I'm taking my dad to the Phillies game tomorrow night and shout out game time. Shout out game time. Shout out game time game time but they were like oh since you're going down there can you run this merch down to smitty and somehow now i'm

roped into a live show about the phillies tomorrow morning and i'll be honest i'm kind of like tico i hope they don't ask me any questions okay so where's this live show chickie and pete's it's on like you're like modeling for like fox 9 fox 29 news or some shit like's. You're like modeling for Fox 29 News or some shit. We're modeling our merch. I'm a mega fan, and I am, but I just hope they don't know. You just got to say said. Yeah, I will. Just go said.

We're talking about the fightings. Every time, don't even answer any questions. Just say said. Are we talking about the fightings? Said. I just need a couple key phrases to keep repeating. That's it. And then I go.

That one guy's clip that's just like, he's the most electric guy in the field. Said. Chico has it figured out. Oh, yeah. She. Yep. That was so coincidental too, right, TJ? Didn't she just like walk by and was like, whoa.

She always walks by and is like, what are y'all doing? Like super slow. Yeah, she does. She like. What are y'all doing? Like super slow. Yeah, she does. She's like, what are y'all doing? You surprised to see us here? Yeah. She sloths out. She just kind of talks like a happy-ass sloth.

The worst part was the game. The game ended and everybody started to leave. And she was like, oh, what are you guys, sore losers? Won't even stay for the end of the game? They only play nine innings, Tika. Oh, my God. She doesn't even know how many innings there are. We're getting a Tommy Smokes voice crack tonight.

It might get way worse. Tommy might do something dangerous. What is he going to do? What's Tommy going to do dangerous? Hold in a sneeze? I can see Tommy punching himself and knocking himself out. Yeah. He's like

a six-year-old that loses a game and spazzes. He's going to hold his breath for too long. He's going to rage quit on life. He would punch himself, get a concussion, and break his wrist. TJ, let's just

be honest here. There's no chance you're beating the Astros. Okay. Oh, shit. You want to shake on it? Oh, another shake. Come in and shake on it. I like this trend.

Come in. Come in. Shaken. You think you can beat the Astros in a seven-game series? You boys are shaking like Jay Fox. For what reason? We'll beat them 3-4-5, and then we'll have to win one. You're going to sweep them at home?

Yes. Why? Because that's what we do. You know, Jimmy Fox was a hell of a player. Oh, yeah. So you've already conceded tonight? No, I'm saying that's worst-case scenario. We have to win six or seven there.

Who's pitching tonight? MVP. AL. Jimmy Fox, we're talking about now. We've pivoted to Jimmy Fox talk. And you never get that on Pick Central. Never. I don't think they've ever talked about Jimmy Fox,

but us, the non-sports show, pulling names like Jimmy Fox. We've talked football, baseball, and basketball today. So what makes the Pels good? They have Zion back. TJ McCollum. Brandon Ingram. Oh, that is a squad. Yeah.

Yeah, they're well built. Or they could just kind of ascend this year. Zion's got to stay healthy. You see him walking? He walks so weird. A lot of basketball players do. Pat Beverly said he's bow-legged. Oh, really?

Yeah. Like as a kid? He's got a little bounce to his walk, yeah. LeBron walks with his feet real far out, I think, right? Yeah, he's got a bounce, too. Yeah, those guys both walk like they can fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

The bow-leggeds can fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh. I need to see. I need a. You've got to chill for real. I need to see a list of like your past lovers because it has to look like I don't

It is the worst. You know like those kids books where you could change each quadrant of the face Yeah Oh he looks familiar I did go through a phase What kind of phase? Like a Sub phase?

Sub-phase? Look how purple she is. Oh, my God. Breathe. We've got to change the look. Breathe, honey. Yeah. I'm going to pass out. So good.

Oh, no. Okay. Sorry. Went through my Rolodex real quick oh no she's good what was his

face I can't even imagine what this could be okay just just kidding it's fine

oh no get me in the show sorry look at us next to each other look at you the other day I was looking and I was like am I always is it the TV Sorry. Look at us next to each other.

Look at you. The other day I was looking and I was like, the TV must be making me red, but no, that's me. That's who I am. Oh my goodness, what a moment. You'll never know how that sentence ended. She had a phase. What?

We were just talking about bow-legged men. She's singling them out? Plucking them off? That's like Dahmer shit. Look, he's bow-legged. She's crying. One of them broke her heart. I just want to go now.

How long did this phase last? You don't have to tell us what the phase was. Just give us hints. Just like it's the man learning to walk upright. Right. Then you get to the beef at the end. The beef was the natural ending for all of this. Yes, he was.

Okay, when you were amidst this phase, did you realize it was self-destructive behavior? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. That also has to be to get back at someone or something. Yeah. Kind of awesome. You said you were taking your dad

to the Phillies game. So you have a good relationship with him. Yeah, I know. Yeah, so what's... Yeah, I just feel bad for him. I just feel bad. Katie, what's been up? What's new at work, Katie?

What did you talk about on that show of yours? Yeah. I was meaning to listen. I'm going to listen to the last one you did. Yeah. Oh, he's probably listening. Yeah? Probably.

Oh, no. He's, uh... That's love. Chain smoking in his pickup somewhere. Yeah, yeah. somewhere yeah do your parents consume uh your stuff

uh I don't think so I don't know it depends they're real like oh good for you you're still doing

that over there yeah oh good for you wow when you get a real job yeah I remember when I first very first started here

I would go down to visit my parents they both have iPads and they'd be sitting at the counter reading the comments on my blogs. Oh, no. They'd be going, they think you're a bitch. They do not like you. And I'm like, what are you guys doing? Yeah, they were real into it at first.

When I was in Ireland, my dad linked up with one of his friends that he went to graduate school with when they were both studying physics. And we sat around the table, and they were both studying physics. We sat around the table and they got into physics talk and my dad was bragging on my sister. Then he was like, Adam, you went to California once, right? My accomplishment was a shitty

trip that I've been on. Then we went back to bragging on my brother-in-law. There's telescope work he's doing. Kyle, can we talk about your mom got mad at you because you said you believe in a higher power? I didn't say I believe in God. Yeah. I do.

Higher power. Leave it at that. Yeah, we'll stop talking about that. Straight up do. Mama. Mama. I do believe in God, Mom. Leave me alone.

Man, that's that. Our father. Yeah. My dad was asked to go on a barstool podcast. Big cat. He was? Make him denounce God. Yeah.

Saying maybe. Yeah. I denounce it. Oh, fuck. You're already fucked. Yeah. I have gotten better, though. yeah I denounce it oh fuck you're already fucked yeah I have gotten better though I respect people who

have God who believe I used to be like the asshole atheist who's like my mom brought you up morons she was like yeah

I know Dan's atheist yeah but I understand other people people who have a relationship with God I have no problem well Pat

gay Pat was doing research on God. Oh, he's going to hell. But he was doing research on Penn, and he is the biggest atheist on earth. And all his license plates are custom license plates about how God isn't real. One says atheist, one says no God, and one says godless on the back of his car. Yeah, I realized I became like the vegans you hate who are like, hey, you shouldn't eat that. If you judge other people, you're an asshole.

I don't believe in God, but other people who do. The most religious guy on the show is Brandon and what's happening to him. Yeah, that's true. But dogs do go to heaven. I also do not like when people use God as like a shield for bad actions. Sure.

And that's bullshit. Or sucking at football like Russell Wilson. Was there some guy who's a governmental candidate who just got busted jerking off outside of a preschool or some shit like that? Probably. There was a big headline yesterday. Mr. Oz? He said he was just under a lot of stress, so he had to fucking jerk off. That is fair. Better than inside, I guess.

Yeah. And that is a good stress like yeah i've exclusively jerked off outside of priest yeah think of the alternative yeah that's very true what all right all right look at this we gotta yeah see a lot of people believe in god and i've i've evolved my uh sensibilities where i do not if you have a relationship with god i think that's really cool yeah how can we profit off this maybe sell some dude there is no place more profitable than the church and the church like the religious stuff sells like hotcakes yeah should we sell a yak shirt that just has a cross on it or like says god yeah God. Well, that would be me doing the thing I hate. Well, it's not bad to clothe people.

Oh, no. God would do that. Using religion to profit off of other people is disgusting in my mind. Sure. Yeah. So I'd be doing the one thing I really despise. It's hilarious when you go to like churches in like famous churches or like in Europe they're like

that's what people will do is like go to a church in a city and there's just like a gift shop. And you can just buy tons of like church merch. Yeah. Just fucking load up on church merch. It's hilarious. The cross is a perfect shape for the end of a chain though. It really does look badass.

How perfect. Did you see Lisa Renna on the tell-all for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? She had this beautiful cross chain on. It fucking went perfect

at the end of her chain. Yeah. Oh, what is his name? Jerry Judy? Yeah. He wears the star David. Yeah, nobody wears that.

His name's Judy. I thought you said that. Because he just is called Jew, and so he wears a Jew. Yeah. Religious symbols are awesome looking. They're great for chains. Yeah, they are. It's true.

Do you like the Star of David for a chain? I do. It looks pretty cool. It's like very geometric. It's nice. You just don't like the people wearing them. Yes. You'd rather them be wearing them so you can tell.

Exactly. A little heads up. Put it on the sleeve. It's easier. I have to run to a meeting that I missed. Yeah, I'm supposed to be doing the rundown. All right, let's get out of here. This is great yak, guys.

Great yak. I love yak. Very good yak. Good vibes hit everything. Yeah. I'm out tomorrow. I'll be back on Monday. He's out tomorrow as well.

I'll be in as well though Alright okay Have a fun Friday boys Maybe Rudy drops a new Sitting style Oh no he's coming with me Outro Music