The Yak - The New Batch of Barstool Interns are Here | The Yak 5-28-24

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, we're back. Wait, KB, come here. Come here, KB. Come here. Do it live. Come here, KB.

KB. KB. He's circling back and forth. Come here, boy. Growback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code yak. What is the question? it's an exhibition game come on it doesn't matter what was the question hold on top three countries that begin with c population size chile china chad uh california not work czech republic czech republic congo uh costa rica congo if that

counts costa cuba cuba oh cuba forgot about cuba canada what was the answer did you get it well what i don't think that was wrong as hell what'd you say chad you said Chad, didn't you? I said Congo, but that begins with an R, to be honest. Can you pull it up, TJ? Roback.com, promo code YAK, 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, and... More. Bathing suits.

Bathing suits. Hello, everyone. We're back. That was KB answering a question on The Dozen. Exhibition match. That was an exhibition. Yeah, I think it's rudy's team trying to get there is it rudy's team trying to get their first win or is it a tryout no it's

hank versus um uh kirk's guys hank's team kirk hank is kirk kirk kirk hank oh canada is this right this doesn't feel right where's china what's cote d'avre this is the new google ai tool it's the worst yeah i don't like it. Yeah, I would... Where is China? I would say China should be... He said China. China.

China. It probably was Canada. No, it was... Cameroon. Yeah, there we go. Oh, Colombia. Oh, Colombia! No, no, he said China, Colombia, and then the third.

So you fucked up. I did, yeah. Because Canada. Well, yeah. Well, how many does Congo have? I don't know. Because aren't there two? The Democratic Republic has a fucking...

There's two Congos? I think there's two Congos. The Republic of... They're way behind. Oh, damn. I gave you that answer. Damn. That was a terrible answer.

Not even top ten. I regret less, regress none. Towel whip. I tryress none. Towel whip. I try. Oh. Towel whip. That's right. I heard.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, we're back. Yeah, no, it was Kirk's team, so Rico and Hank versus Kirk's guys. The one guy that can't stay on his feet. Oh, Kirk's going to be pissed. Kirk's basketball team is the greatest basketball team that's ever been created. It's the funniest shit out right now.

I someday hope that I'm tasked with being the team historian and writing a book because I'm just obsessed. Kirk has just got a bunch of mutants and they're playing in a basketball league. Has he curated his mutants or do they gravitate towards him? It's a combo. Okay. he curated his mutants or do they gravitate towards him it's a combo okay um i think it's like it's it's kind of uh once you get one mutant they attract to other yeah yeah i saw him running like suicides gross yeah right on memorial day and kirk doing suicides for miss free throws yeah and he's a go again it's fucking awesome is kirk a coach or a star player? No, he's their only good player.

Actually, no, Beanbag Ron is pretty good as well. Beanbag Ron? Beanbag Ron is good. I need to get caught up on the lore. Is there a wiki where I can? I can tell you that they're all just so, so, so good. But Beanbag Ron, yeah, and Kirk, they have like one and a half players. And Gus? Gus would not be qualified and a half players. And Gus.

Gus would not be qualified as a player more like a mop. Yeah, he keeps on falling on his face. He's a battering ram. Kirk's trying to get us to hire him as an intern. I was like, I honestly physically think that he would die here because whenever he's near a basketball court, he just face first. Oh yeah, he can't.

There's too much basketball court here. Yeah. Oh, and you're going to do Gus's show. Oh, yeah. You hit me up about it. Gus DM'd me. I have not responded to him yet. He asked me and Kyle to do it. Yeah.

We're doing his show, Kyle. Yeah. Oh, anything for Gus. It's called Puff Puff. Puff Puff. Oh, it's a weed pod? No, it's a weed pod. He said we smoke and talk.

Oh, he goes down hard. That's not enough. But constantly. You could hear that. Their play-by-play guy is fantastic. Very good. I mean, they're appointment television games. Have they won a game yet? No.

Well, they're 0-2. They just, like, I mean, Coleman is maybe the most fascinating. He needs to invite some of his black brothers and sisters. Yeah. Stands with them. What does that mean? Coleman is like a treasure trove. He's a bottomless cup of content.

The paper trail he has online. Oh, yeah. I saw him in a, what was that, video chat? Yeah, the kid is 24 years old And he's done 7,000 podcast episodes Yeah Other people's podcast or his own? Yeah other people's, his own

He had one from the George Floyd era And it was like we stand with our brothers and sisters We're here if you need anything So yeah Coleman is like The most fascinating basketball can you put can you play the clip of coleman with his awesome swat i'm confused by coleman's shape everything confused he has the look of like an old nautical semen or something yeah he sure does i've also seen i've watched coleman take probably 300 basketball shots i think i've seen one go in i've never seen

a ball hit a backboard harder than that. Yeah. They got Mick, who's got Crohn's disease, and the team might actually kill him. Like, they had an intervention being like, he might die. Mutt, who is, he wears, like, long shorts. He's fucking, he's all heart.

I am, I'm 100% buying into this. They're incredible, dude. It's like, I can't express enough how much I love watching them interact and play basketball. And is Kirk just angry at them all the time? Yeah, it's like a combo of anger. But then Kirk was mad at himself because he did not have a good shooting performance in the second game. I think they scored like 22 points in a 40-minute game. Yeah, it was tough.

There you go, Mick. There you go, Mick. That's good. Two blocks by Mick right there. Mick. Can you find the practice clip of Coleman's big block? Because, yeah, his shape is quite something. And then there was the Coleman in the ambulance picture.

Yeah, he went to one Grateful Dead concert and almost died. Kirk knows how to collect them. Yeah, no, he does. He does. I'm like, well, no, I was going to say I'm jealous of him, but then he's going to start sending them off. I would gladly accept. Yeah, Gus is an interesting one.

I can't really. He got the – they did a big intern search and he won the job and then he got fired. I remember that. He's like a fellow sommelier. Yeah. He really is. Yeah, Kirk. Yeah.

No, he does. Yeah, they're mutants and I love them. Like I say that in an endearing way. And Justin is my favorite. He's their producer. He doesn't get any minutes because he's never played. He said, what was the clip? Oh, they were practicing, and every time the ball went to the post,

he would just hug whoever had the ball. And Kirk was like, what was that? He's like, well, you said play zone defense. Like, don't you make a zone around them? That's what he thought? Wow. Wow. Fascinating.

It's awesome. It's dinner for schmucks. Basketball. Basketball. Yeah. They're just missing a Mincy. It's like, boom. But yeah, find that clip for me because I want to also explain how funny it is. If you can keep the tweet out of it, TJ, just a clip of Coleman blocking.

I think he blocked Gus. Mincy working for Kirk for a week would be hilarious. That would not go well. That would not go well. That would not go well. I'm going to detox from Mincy for a little bit. He's got World Series of Poker going on. We're going to revisit maybe in August. Maybe set a reminder, Che.

Let's set a reminder for August. August is late. You think we're going to do that? No, but I think mid-July. What is it? He's at World Series of Poker, I think, for a good portion of July. Right, I know. I'm saying the next time we should have Mincy on the act,

let's say August 7th. You got it. I'm fine with that. That feels good. We can still watch his clips, but that will be our reminder of him coming back on. Yeah, detox. Yeah, we, detox. Yeah, detox.

All right, so this is Coleman's big first defensive play. Incredible. Yeah. Unfortunately, Gus is on his team. What? Oh, that's a trap. It was the first possession. That was his own team.

Did he just get a little confused? Yeah, he just didn't know. That was the first possession. He didn't realize he was on his team. So everyone was get a little confused? Yeah, he just didn't know. That was the first possession. He didn't realize he was on his team. So everyone was like, holy shit, what a play. That's your own team. Oh, that's his team. Oh, I thought you meant.

His Gus was driving. Even in the practice game. In the practice. That's his team. Gus is. Coleman is on offense right now. Oh, my God. Come on.

They're perfect. I love them so much Are you gonna towel whip this boy? Yeah, let's do it I don't wanna do this You have to If you would've told me a year ago That I'd be getting towel whipped By you

Mark the shark I would've moaned Kyle, how was your beach day with the twink? The beach day was the best. It was the best. You raw-dogged beach, though. You didn't bring a towel. You just laid on sand.

I didn't bring a towel. What do you mean? You just showed up to the beach? Showed up to the beach. Thought I was meeting Donnie. I met up with fucking Smokes and his Bender brothers they were all calling him Longley

oh yeah it's his last name it's like recounting their best Benders his name's Chuck Longley which sounds like World War 2 wait what? Smokes name's Charles Longley yeah he fought in World War 2 and then he came back Wait, what? Wait, wait. Nicky Smoke's name is Charles Longley.

Yeah, he fought in World War II, and then he came back, and he, you know, 2.4 points per game, 3.4 rebounds for Kansas. Yes, Charles Longley. Charles Longley. Oh, my God. I didn't realize the beach was that impressive. Oh, yeah. Oh, my my god Oak Street Yes

Yeah A little bit young But it was It was fun It was a blast Dude That Saturday was like The best weather

The best Saturday And then Sunday and Monday Not as nice Frederick Douglass To the forecast What? We're slaves to the weather

Oh It decides how we act How we think And it Just decides our mood Yeah Pretty much Yeah We're slaves to the weather It decides how we act How we think And it Just decides our mood Yeah Pretty much Yeah

We're slaves to our stomach That too Yeah He's not He's trying He doesn't have it Is it because it's not my ass? Ooh

Ooh Oh Oh Oh Alright get over here Where am I Let's go That was crazy.

Staying right in the middle. And how do I posture myself? I would just kind of bent over. It's ass? Yeah. It's ass. I would like go before first twerk. I would also, yeah, I would take, I would go underwear.

Just pull down your pants just a little bit to the underwear. I'm not a guy. I'm wearing these tight Briefs Smuggling a paintball No you don't do the front Just take off the little Yeah

One left in the hopper Oh here we go Oh yeah He's playing Shortstop No You got hole Yeah. He's playing shortstop. Yeah. Oh. No.

You got hole. I think you got his hole. Did you get a little hole? That hurts so bad. Not hole. That was a good screen. That was a good screen. That was a good screen. This towel's not as good.

No. Too thick. That was a great screen. I'm sorry, Kyle. No, that was good. No. It's too thick. That was a great scream. I'm sorry, Kyle. No, that was good. What's the... Did I hear the new plan is if it hits me on towel whip, everybody whips me?

Yep. Yes. Everyone. But you're always... But I don't have to worry about that because it's never going to hit me. Right. The wheels never land on you.

Right. Elimination. You're fine. All right. You're completely fine. All right. Yeah. completely fine. All right. What else happened this weekend? You had the worst road trip of your life?

No. No. Where'd you go? The Sunday plan was to rent a zip car and go up the lake, check out some of the nicer suburbs, and see what happens. But it was just gray and rainy. We ended up in Skokie at a fucking cinema.

You rented a car to go to the movies? Go to the movies. Drive up Lakeshore? We did, and then it was just so rainy. The zip car is pathetic. We needed air in the tires. Oh, shit. That is a bad road trip.

It was nice. It was nice. I was mature about it yeah trying to think the law i don't i didn't do anything except parent long weekends are long yeah kids steven i'm sure you feel that kate you well kate was out of town yeah kate was oh yeah you looked like you were loose. What was the sig count? I bummed them all. I didn't bring my own. So I probably got up to probably three or four. Okay. But had a couple drinks.

I smoked 14 yesterday in nine holes. I saw that. How are you feeling? Because you can get a cigarette hangover from just the next thing. I had a cigarette high, yeah. Yeah. Sure. That's tough.

Yeah, that sucked a lot. That would be horrible. Yeah. It was stupid. The John Daly challenge, right? And then you showed the boys your wiener. Well, yeah, I do that every time we go out golfing. Max and Memes have this weird fetish where they try to get me taking a piss next to a tree. So I neutralize it by turning around every time.

Can't use the footage. Yeah. No pissing dick on YouTube. Show my dick. And I'm like, you're going to use this? Gets him every time. Can't use the footage. No pissing dick on YouTube. I'm like, you're going to use this? Gets them every time. You show them for real? Oh yeah, they have at least a half a dozen times on file somewhere of my dick

just being flashed. They could make so much money? No, I don't think so. For what? Someone would pay for your cock. I can describe it right now. It's nothing special. Yeah.

Like, that would be, you would be robbing people. It's not like. You'd be charged to see my penis. Yeah, but it's not comically small. Not comically small, but it's like comically whatever. It's just, yeah, like people would be calling like Barstool Sports Headquarters being like, I demand a refund. It's a forgettable dick. Yeah, like why did i pay ten dollars to see this do you think if you made an only fans with a dick pic you would make over 500 grand yeah but i would i would have to give it back

yeah they demand yeah okay they'd be like you you promised us the dick this isn't this is a boy's penis no i think it's small. This is barely a penis. I think too small is still memorable. If I see your dick and I'm indifferent. It's exactly, it's like, I think I probably have exactly what, I'm like a, I have like a 5'10 dick. That makes sense. Your dick is 5 feet 10 inches.

No, I'm saying like a 5'10, like a 5'10. You would have a nice size dick if you were 5'10". A 5'10 guy is always being like, damn, I wish I was six feet. But I'm not like 5'4". It's the dick equivalent of 5'10". I got you. It's like completely forgettable. I mean, I'm 5'10", but 5'4 in the dick for sure.

Right. No, but what I'm saying, yeah, I'm saying like. But not like a 5'10 running back. No, I'm saying it's not a 5'10 person's dick. It's the 5'10 of dick. So if it's 5'10, it's a, that's not a short guy, but it's not, that 5'10 guy wants to be 6'1. If, here's the perfect way to describe 5'10. If you close your eyes and you're like, if someone's 5'10 and you close your eyes and you're like,

is that person short? I think your answer is yes. Right? You're like, tiny. Yeah, he's kind of short. Tiny. He's kind of short. But then when you see him, you're like, oh, you're not as short as I thought because you kind of expected it to be really short. Yeah. Okay. If you were swiping Bumble

and you came across a 5'10", you'd just be like, right. Yeah. Okay. That that make sense? If you were swiping Bumble and you came across a 510, you'd just be like, oh. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's okay. I've libeled my penis so much that if you saw it, you'd be like, oh, it's not that bad. But if you took away all conversation around it, you'd be like, eh. A deaf person would see your dick not hearing you talk about your dick and think what?

Wait, a deaf person? How would a deaf person react to your dick? Oh. Yeah. That's pretty oh yeah that's pretty good that's pretty good yeah yeah got it understood yeah 510 510 feels like that height where it's like you can never tell you just know they're not six feet okay so yeah to me mook you're 510 i'm 510 i'm probably 5 9 really if you walked out of the room you're like he's mook short i'd be like yeah he's kind of short yeah yeah you're not but you kind of are are you i'm like average compared to y'all the aftertaste is short yes i'm 5 11 all right titus relax believe it aftertaste yeah short aftertaste what's that okay yeah that's short

it's a short guy shortcut yeah and then uh yeah so wait so kate you had a good time i I had a great time. I love Charlotte in general. Anytime I get down south, I have my cheesy grits, my biscuits, my pepper bacon. I think Charlotte sucks. Really? You know where Charlotte is? Charlotte is Sim City. To me, it's in my head of dust.

No, no, no. It's a city. Yeah, it's just- It's Bank of America. Corporate land. Yeah, right. They created a city. Yeah.

Corporate land. You got to get out of the downtown. Go 10 minutes in any direction and there's awesome nooks and crannies down there charlotte is the city that's created by someone who's drawing a city with no imagination yeah i don't know i dig it and i like it don't get me wrong it's nice i also love like you go to any sporting event and there's like a few expert tailgaters there like the people that have the season tickets maybe whatever but like nascar those people are like professional tailgaters they've been doing this tailgate for 40 years in the same spot and they have it down to a science and they're it's like

a neighborhood there people were setting up basketball hoops in the infield there was kids riding bikes around like it was the suburbs and like yeah they're swimming pools and like and so everybody's like come in here and have a shot come in here and check out our bus like i i love that kind of shit so like that was my drunk or not i would have had a great time but no it was really fun and uh those people rock because they basically like i'm not they're not like gonna have like this huge house they're like but i'm gonna just have an awesome tailgate oh yeah yeah they were telling me like them for a lot of them still working they're like this is our vacation right this is the week i take to prepare there was a guy who had a he's like it started out as a minivan and i thought wouldn't it be cool if i made it a convertible so i cut the top off it started bringing it here then he put an astroturf

and then he cut it down so that it was just a windshield and like a minivan astroturf whatever and he's like there's a still it has to be street legal to drive in the infield still so as a license he's like whenever i get bored with life i still drive this thing to work yeah and some of the people are like yeah i've seen him in like downtown whatever just driving this like convertible minivan astro turf those guys yeah yeah there's something special and they live for that week yeah but they take the whole week to tailgate right they like start on monday journey to get there like setting up shop for day like yeah it's a whole it's nice and you you went to indy 500 yeah

did you stay through the end yeah yeah yeah i stayed to the end the indian was awesome did you guys see the final lap no how was how'd the guy do that was doing that and the nascar race uh he he had a pit speed like he he he went over the speed limit into the pit so he got penalized late in the race see he was running like okay not great but he was like in the top 10 he led a couple laps i think um but then he had a uh uh he sped into the pits too fast and he got penalized and at that point he was out of contention so that sucked did he leave and go and then he left and he went to the nascar and i think i don't know if he ever actually did he ever actually i guess i should ask spider i didn't see if he ever actually got in his car because i know it was raining if you look on my kyle larson is his name and

people were tracking it like as the race is going the big screen showed like his airplane is here because he was going to drive the indy 500 and this NASCAR race, which only a few people have ever done in history. And then his plane finally landed, and you could hear everybody cheered when the plane landed. And then his vehicle, you could see it come into the track, and everyone's cheering, and he gets into his uniform, and he's about to get in the car right as it starts pouring.

Oh, they called it. And there's a guy wearing his shirt. It's on my Instagram. It's like my second video um the entire stand hundreds of thousands of people clear out and there's just this one fan who refused to move out of the rain wearing that kyle larson shirt just alone like completely by himself it's like the saddest thing i've ever seen in my life but uh he sat out in that freezing cold rain for like 40 minutes in the sky, and then they canceled the race, which sucks. Bummer.

Frederick Douglass. Frederick Douglass. People get really into you. You didn't see, like, excision in the snake pit, did you? No. I go to turn three, but I don't go to, like, the EDM concert. Look at him. He's wanting to be filmed.

You know when a girl reads a book under a tree? Yeah. Dude reads a book at a bar. Oh my God, that's the new thing. Jacob Elordi was walking around with a book in his back pocket. He does it. But you actually do that, but you read. I don't read in public.

Okay. You better not. No. God, no. I have a reputation to uphold. I'm the cool guy. You just play Pokemon in public? Yeah, I do.

How's the first weekend in the new place? Brought all my clothes down, left them next to an open window, everything soaked. Oh. Of course. Yeah. Who could have seen that coming? Yeah. But other than that, Frederick Douglass.

Yeah. But no, no. New Place is great. Oh, by the way, congratulations. I know you and TJ share an anniversary. Five years for TJ, one year for you today. Oh, congratulations, Nick. God damn it.

You're flew by. TJ, congrats on five. Thanks, guys. TJ, you gained a half a pound? Yeah, it's all coming down. It's over. It's all over. Oh, no.

Fatty. Yeah. When are you going to stop weighing yourself? I don't think ever. Oh, okay. I guess that's how it works. You look great are you

like I'm good I'm good at this weight yeah but yeah we're the same weight damn that is crazy you just sped right by me

yeah he didn't even he didn't even have a day in your body it was like it was like it was like he was you for about 15 it was like a

Friday a Friday in October. See ya. A 15-minute window, total eclipse. Yeah, it was an eclipse. Yeah, we should have done the big cat TJ eclipse. Stand right next to each other. It's done.

See ya. This is going to be a rough weekend. I'm going to eat a bagel this weekend. What? What is that? You haven't had one? I'm going back to New York. I'm going to eat a bagel this weekend. What? What is that? You haven't had one? I'm going back to New York. I'm going to eat a bagel.

Darts weekend. Oh, fuck. Oh, it's darts weekend? It is darts weekend. Are you going to have to turn in your chip? Your sour cream and onion? My carb sobriety. Wait, you're out Friday and Monday, right?

Yeah. Yeah. We have roof ball on Thursday. Can't wait. So excited. As long as the weather holds up. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

It's going to be cold. Wait, it's going to be cold? I don't like that. 68? That's fine. I got to run to a dentist appointment I forgot about. Oh, now. Right now, yeah.

That reminds me. I got a reminder like 30 minutes. Regular checkup or are you feeling some pain? Regular checkup. You floss? I do, yeah. Surprisingly. It's a reminder like 30 minutes. Regular checkup or are you feeling some pain? Regular checkup. Do you floss? I do, yeah. Surprisingly. It's my favorite thing to do.

No. Yeah. I didn't floss for a long time. Not my favorite thing to do. I shouldn't say that. No, it's your favorite thing to do. Okay, number one is flossing. We'll see you tonight.

Yeah, yeah. Have we promoted that yet? We will. When you walk out, tell Jerry to come in. Okay. We're doing a special jerry after dark yak collab tonight everyone tune in we're playing live action clue i'm excited for that i am too yeah it's gonna be awesome they have all the stuff i saw lucas and ryan setting up

we're dressing up right we're like yeah do we have outfits amazing Amazing. Clue. I like these life-size board games because there's kind of like a set time. Jerry doesn't have to kill himself every time. I want to be Colonel Mustard. I hope they give me Colonel Mustard. No? You're Colonel Mustard? I'm Professor fucking Plum, aren't I?

I don't know who else is. Isn't there Peacock? Mrs. Peacock, Scarlet. Oh, Scarlet. Green. Mr. Green. Should we wheel for it? Yeah, we should. Jer?

We have costumes? I think there are specific sizes of costumes. Oh, well, no. Yeah, then we should wheel for it. Yes, we should. Steven? Okay. We're all about 5'10".

Yeah. Wheel for what? Which character everyone's going to be in. Cool. Jer, this might be the best you've ever smelled. Really? Yeah. Real for what? Which character everyone's going to be tonight. Cool. Jared, this might be the best you've ever smelled. Really? Yeah. Just laundry.

I didn't put anything on today. You smell fresh, huh? I use Irish Spring. I switched. Jerry, I got a question for you. Go ahead. Outside of Clue. Are there any famous people that you just recently found out about?

Oh, no. Wait, say that again. Any famous people you just recently found out about? Like maybe someone who's been doing something for 20-plus years, and then in the year 2024, you were like, oh, this guy is interesting. I'm listening to him now.

Joe Rogan. No, it's actually kind of... Tucker Carlson. Yeah. Just found Tucker. This guy's great. What do you mean you just found Tucker? You just found Tucker.

I've seen him in the past, but I didn't know who he was. And then I figured Dave... I feel like I've seen something with him and Dave in the past. Dave used to go on, yeah. Okay. I've been watching his podcast on X. Yeah. Forgot he has a podcast?

Yeah. He did Putin. He just did Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers, Patrick McDavid. He did some big, big ones. It's just very funny that 2024 was the year you found out Tucker Carlson. Yeah, I guess. Is he a big horse guy or anything?

No. Horse guy? Oh. He likes Zinn. You think Dave Rayburn? Sailing? Yeah. Is it a big horse guy or anything? No Horse guy? Oh He likes Zinn You think Dave Sailing Sailing? Yeah His sailboat?

He likes to sail yeah That's cool Kyle Rittenhouse Big fan Kyle Rittenhouse is like doing a meet and greet I saw him at Memphis Yeah He got outnumbered

Again? How did you know about that? I got sources That's weird I also just I shouldn't say that No say it They

They I'm not gonna say who Just showed me the The Gia Duddy Will's big Will's Will's footage

I've seen it as well Will's massive Yeah Okay I shouldn't say that That was big. Sexy. Okay.

Federal crime. Federal crime, okay. It's federal crime to have that out there. Yeah, but we don't have it out there. No, if you watch it, it's federal crime. Yeah, you are. They would know I watched it. I said it.

I enjoyed it. You're about to get the FBI showing up. No. Is anybody else here a Tucker Carlson fan? I listen to his podcast from time to time. I like the face he makes. I'm all for all discourse, so I listened to an episode a couple weeks ago.

It was pretty good. My entire family would die for him. Really? Yeah, my dad would do crazy things for him. Did you come to any grand epiphanies or any realizations or takeaways? No, not really. I thought the Poonit interview was really good. It was a little tough to follow with

the translation and stuff like that, but pretty much the reason him with the Ukraine thing dates back to like 800s with Russia. That was Russia's originating spot over there in Ukraine. That's an old school grudge. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it goes back years and years. I didn't know that. Yeah. No, I think the guy's pretty interesting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's good at his job. He's very smart.

Very smart. Yeah, no, he's very smart. And you know who else is very smart? Is the guy that he just had on, Patrick Bed-David. I don't know who that is. He has, like, a 1% ownership in the Yankees He's like a motivational guy Business guy

He's awesome Really good people I like the way Like Tucker's inflections Like when he talks Like it's always like a question Yeah He's good

Yeah he's a very good like riff Convo is like so smooth With everybody he has Like he is a genius How much do you think a guy like that's making from X? I don't know. Because he brought everything over to X. It's exclusively on X.

He made a lot of money at Fox. Yeah. I think he's making more on Twitter. I honestly don't know. Maybe. It has to be. I mean, he's getting like 300 million views. I know.

It's crazy. It's nuts. You should get him on PMT. We don't really talk politics. You don't have to be politics. Maybe he has a favorite sports team. Does he? I don't know.

Yeah, where's he from? Where's he from? I think he's from California. Where's that house that he's in? Maine. That's in Maine? Yeah. It's a nice shack.

He had the guy on who sucked Obama's dick. Oh, yeah. Did he really? Yeah. That's crazy. He lost me a little bit on that one. That guy just was begging to do interviews. Yeah.

That I don't believe. Yeah. I don't know if I believe. But Big Mike. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Tucker, you see the Trump dance? Yeah.

He crushed that one. Dance of the summer, dude. Yeah. Oh, I was ripping it all week. Oh yeah he crushed that dance of the summer dude yeah oh I was ripping it all crushed it big Mike uh I went out to dinner with some friends a couple weeks ago and it was one of those moments that I was like I'm way too online it was like yeah big Mike and they're like what are you talking about I was like oh you don't know there's a rumor that Joe Obama's a guy they're like what yeah people normal people don't know.

Shit, I probably should tip out of this one. Yeah, he crushed this. Somebody said he was dancing like when Macaulay Culkin was pulling the cardboard cutouts. Yeah. Exactly. He was at the NASCAR race this weekend. He's smooth in this. What's he going to do?

Yeah. Biden's not doing that. No, no. That's a broken knee. All right. So, Jerry, tonight, Clue. Yeah. Are you hosting it or are you playing it with us?

I believe I'm playing, yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, how many characters are there? I think there's eight. Is there eight? Che, are you in it? Yes.

Yeah, Che. Oh, yeah. Why don't you get Lucas in here? Lucas. Lucas. Want me to go get him Yeah go get him I'm excited for this I am too

Life was a blast Are there punishments in this Yeah Lucas Sick fuck Sick fuck Lucas Can we pick Yeah sick fuck He'll get his That's sick fuck Lucas Can we pick

Can we wheel for our characters right now Nice promo Some of them are Kind of size specific So they might be really tight But Yeah that's fine That's even better

I can grab them They're all right outside there If you want We'll save to put them on But Okay What are the characters Hold on That's even better. I can grab them. They're all right outside there if you want. We'll save to put them on, but... Okay. What are the characters? Hold on, let me grab my notebook real quick.

Okay, grab your notebook. You guys ever see the cartoon Doonesbury? Yeah. Okay. Not even once. Super niche. Like the comic? Yeah.

Kind of looks like that guy. Great pull by me. Anyways. No, no, no. You're all Doonesbury heads, right? You guys are all real Doonesbury. Danny Conrad wore two different pairs of shoes, two different shoes to the bar this weekend.

Oh, on purpose? No. Just to accidentally put on two different... Oh, that sucks. That's embarrassing. All right, so the character names Mr. Ketchup, Colonel Mustard, Larry Leprechaun. All right, first up, Mr. Ketchup?

Mr. Ketchup? Yeah. What cluniverse is this? Cluniverse. I don't know. Is he part of the game? Certainly not. No.

You created him. Yes. All right, so say it again. Mr. Ketchup. Mr. Ketchup, Mr. Ketchup. Colonel Mustard. Larry Leprechaun. Wedding Wendy. Who's Larry Leprechaun?

Oh. I don't think Mook's part of it. No. No. Is it like the shortest one of us? He's got a softball game. Yeah. Committed.

It could be anyone. Okay. All right. That one. That one. That costume can fit anyone okay um wedding wendy purple paulie blue just blue is the name oh and then like carl the maid all right so let's put it on the wheel and we'll just wheel for them would that fuck anything

up someone might be wearing really tight clothes That's fine Perfect Yeah we want that Anything else? Are there punishments? Give that to TJ so he has the list No punishments

Put all of our names and then we'll spin our name And then spin the Do you have to be smart to play this game? Oh, I guess we could draft. I think so. Very, very base level. Okay. Do you guys want to draft it or random? Draft it. Draft it. Okay. Do you want to see the costumes or? Yeah.

Yeah, fuck it. Alright, so let's do a draft. Pretty sure in England Clue's called Clue-Doo. Clue-Doo. Clue-Doo. Just like they call Where's Waldo, Where's Wally. Do we have a counter on the Jerry After Dark stream for amount of questions Chase is going to ask? Get them out.

Feels like a lot. I love Clue. Very diligent note taker. We have to take notes? We have little notepads if you play clue and you're not taking notes you're not you're not playing well you gotta figure out like i'm raw dogging it it's it's a game of deduction so like we'll know things you'll ask me did visit the hammer and i'll be like no i can prove it to you that it's not the hammer i don't think i've ever played clue i played once years ago. Shit. It's tough to play

and you need a minimum of three people. You have seven. Well, yeah, I'm saying it's hard. It's hard to practice at home because it's like you need at least a smoker. I was just saying I've never played it. I've never

let me say it again. I've never played it or practiced it. it i i've never let me say it again i've never played it or practiced it yeah all right glad we cleared that up we're good now can you kill people in the game no no oh really good i mean take out jay right away but someone dies that's that's the murder you gotta out. But is that someone's going to die? And then they're out? I don't like how Steven's looking at me like he's going to dominate me. You're going to have to beat him. You have to crash course myself

and clue in the next seven hours. Figure out what the fuck I'm going to do. All the interns are here. Yeah, we have them on yeah very nice first impressions i haven't seen any i have one bad first impression oh no boy yeah i feel bad for the kid i'm gonna try to wipe it from my brain did he say something yes oh no we hank and i met with him gave the whole speech and i was like you know if you're like you guys besides

hannah and the other girl what's her name there are two interns have been hired for content oh better ella ella yeah everyone else has been hired for behind the scenes so i was like you know if you're behind the scenes be behind the scenes if you're asked to do content great but like a quick way to have a bad footing here is to just try to put yourself in front of the camera when you're not on camera. I was like, we might have you guys on the yak, and then one guy raises his hand.

He's like, gauntlet? I was like, no. Right after I said that. I kind of like the intern gauntlet. Yeah, but I just say, you know, I have something else for them. I like the mustard outfit. I'm scared of all the interns. What do you mean?

Because they're going to take the job? So young and cool. Jesus. Cheaper mook. No, I just got. Cheaper? Not possible. No, they probably make more money than I do.

Chook one, chook two. No, last year I got harassed by one all summer. Oh, yeah. Peyton, right? Yeah. And you had to move. Yeah, I moved states. Was it harassment or flirting?

Harassment. It felt like flirting. Not flirting. When you're an intern, you're automatically... No. No, you're not automatically going to get hired. No, there's eight of them, nine of them. Oh.

So it's like whoever is the best gets hired? Yeah, or we might not hire any of them. Oh, wow. It's them, nine of them. Oh. So it's like whoever is the best gets hired? Yeah, or we might not hire any of them. Oh, wow. It's not like- Holy shit. Yeah. It's just a summer internship, no promises. Yeah.

Wow, I didn't know that. Because they're junior going into senior, right? I think most of them are. Generally, so they're not done school yet. Yeah. Damn. Oh, these are all in college. Yeah.

Wow. Chef Donnie's brother is sleeping on a ledge yeah i heard a bed right and he has to take a rope he has to climb up oh yeah there's no access no ladder he's gotta you show that video yeah videos it's a good video also him using the vacuum not knowing the it's just it wasn't hooked up so he's just shooting dust across his apartment yep's moving in for the summer, so I'm trying to build him a room up on top of here. You can't really see it. There's enough space for like a twin mattress.

This place is kind of a mess. Just a big old dusty, I guess, storage area. That's bad. That's horrible. That's really thin. Really? I think that's kind of fun. I was kind of like,

my first New York spot was like that. Cool. I've lived in more. That corner was not great. I was kind of like, my first New York spot was like that. I've lived in Morse. That corner was not great. I cleaned it up pretty, I don't know what's in that hole. Cleaned it up. It's looking good. It was a little dirtier than I thought.

There's still dust. What are you going to do? But I got some floor and a little bit of carpet on a stay point in here. Paige had a question, Donnie, about the flooring because it looks exactly like the carpet we have. Of course, it doesn't fit. Oh. Paige had to question Donnie about the flooring, because it looks exactly like the carpet we have. Of course it doesn't fit, so I just put it all together. I was honestly kind of surprised myself with how, A, fun this was, and B, how nice it turned out. The carpeting looks great in there.

Then I was trying to put in his bed. Look, it's not the best bed. It's a little twin mattress. I almost killed myself putting this thing up. That's got to be scary, though. Yeah, if you're drunk. And now it's time to put in the rope. This is my favorite addition of the bedroom.

He has to get up and down by using a gym climbing rope the whole summer. You'd be surprised what you can find on Amazon. There's his rope. That ladder is not staying. He's going to be a rope. And I tested it out for him. I made sure that it was climbable. Oh, my God.

That's a nightmare. You can get a good workout this summer. If you have to get water in the middle of the night, it's going to suck. But that's how you build a bedroom. He's going to have piss jugs up there. Oh, yeah. I don't hate that. Except the climbing rope.

I would just never be able to go to bed. I'd be afraid to, like, roll over. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to put a pool noodle under your sheet, under the fitted sheet. What's that do? Keep yourself tucked in. Really?

Yeah, you put it under the fitted sheet so it creates, like, Keep yourself tucked in. You put it under the fitted sheet so it creates the tiniest little barrier. Is that like a barracks trick? Toddler trick. Oh. Keeps them in. Alright, so we got the costumes. You ready, TJ?

Or drafting? Yeah. Yeah. Or drafting Yeah So if your name gets picked do you pick what you want Yeah Jerry Alright Jerry what are you picking Big big selection here one one in the draft you doing purple plum mr plum professor plum all right do it. Yeah. It's a little risque.

I mean, you already touched it. Are you going to stuff? Okay. There's a skirt to it. There's a skirt? Yep. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect for you, Jerry.

I feel like being in tights today. Yeah, okay. All right, so Jerry's Professor Plum. Next up. What are we picking for him? Let's just leave him to the end. Okay. Yeah, it's his fault for dental hygiene. The last pick.

His dentist appointment. I got to make one of those. Kate. I haven pick. His dentist appointment. I gotta make one of those. Kate? I haven't been in so long. Is this together? Uh. Touching your butt. These.

These two are together. And what's this costume? That's a wedding dress. Oh, that's nice. Oh. I kind of like that, but I referenced you guys in it. I think I'm just going to go simple. Mustard.

That was my one-one pick. That was eyeing the mustard. All right. No Padu. Yes. No. Kate has to pick again. What is that? What is that?

What is that? Catch up Keeping it simple Yeah You can use a no-bye-do Anytime you want Really? Yeah Well you can't

I couldn't be no-bye-do Twice Correct? No I thought you'd say Oh you can No you can Oh okay Yeah

Nick just can't know if I do someone else right is that an inflatable one the green yes it is Che Che where's the last costume I see green I see blue I see where's the last costume

I see green I see blue I see where's the last one wedding dress oh there's two something really tickled him nope I do thank you looks like a Care Bears outfit that's a nice one Nope, I do. Thank you. Looks like a Care Bears outfit. That's a nice one.

Blue? It's almost a huge disadvantage to have your name go on the wheel. Yeah. Nope, I do's. Can I touch these and look at them or no? Yeah. No, you can't touch them. You can look at them.

You can look, but you can't touch. It's like storage wars. You're a bad boy. Do you have Cole Anthony socks on? I do, yeah. You have Cole Anthony socks on? I do, yeah. You have Cole Anthony socks on? What? Oh, fuck.

Did you buy those? Where do you even purchase those? No, the magic table. All right, you're the leprechaun. All right, so KB, you get to pick. Don't forget your power pack. Am I up? Yeah, because Titus is last.

It's like a wedding dress and whatever else. What's the other one? The other one looks like a professor. A maid. A maid costume. A bride or a maid. Damn, Titus really shouldn't have done that. Dentist office.

If you go bride, you could be like Gay Brown's Kyle. I don't know what that is, but I don't think Titus is's Kyle. The maid. Wedding dress. Love it. I like that. Good job. All right, so tonight's going to be clue. I'm really excited.

8 o'clock. I'm blue. I have something'clock. I'm blue. I have something. Yes, I have something before we get the interns in here. By the way, do the game time ad read, Nick. Yeah. Good, Dan? You want me to try to go get the interns?

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for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the game time app, create an account, use code YAKMLB for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the game time app today. Last minute tickets, lowest prices guaranteed. YAKMLB. Does anyone remember what the fuck this is that I bought? Yeah! That's the band!

Dumbass band. You go back and forth. You go back and forth in the big rubber band. Oh yeah! Oh yeah. You go back and forth in the big rubber band. Oh, yeah. Four people get in. Yeah. Only white people have bought in. Yeah.

And you got two of them. I showed up at my house, and I was like, what is this? Okay. Fuck yeah. Oh, put the interns in there. How does it work? Can we see a video? The video is so underwhelming. Yeah.

Four people stand across from each other and these two go this way at the same time the other two are going that way. So the band always stays expanded. It never... Go grab four interns. Then come back, Jerry. It's supposed to be team building, I think.

Oh, perfect. That's some corporate America shit. It's corporate America shit. Yeah. But is it dangerous? Can you collide? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah, big time. All right, so we got the band. I couldn't. I was so confused when I saw it. I was just like, what is. That has to happen to you once a week. Oh, so often. I have boxes in my house where I'm like, I don't know what this is.

Oh, that's it? Yeah. It looks like it sucks. Yeah, this sucks. Hey, do you want to come over to my house and collide? It's terrible. Why did I buy this? You got two.

Why did I buy two? Do you remember this? No, we don't. Literally do not. Wait for it. But is there like a winner nope it's like she'd be good at it what the fuck how could you not be imagine looking in your neighbor's yard and the family's just out back i don't i i'm somehow more confused after watching

the video it's's like Kate said. It's like an experiment where you have to do it perfectly and symmetrically to keep the band up. This would go crazy at Bible Camp. Yes. That's a Bible Camp activity, right? Yeah, for sure. Because if you don't coordinate, the band falls. It's like a hula hoop almost. You've got to try and keep it up.

And if you guys aren't, zigzag. I think I hate this. We all do. Yeah. Yep. The people that would like this, i would never get along with yeah no i do feel like these will come in handy for us somehow further down the line two giants no chance these kate okay these two things that i spent money on will never be oh finger dude, finger. Dude, all right. So this one, I got to touch. Gold finger? Yeah, sit here.

You guys sit. We only have two seats. There's a chair right there. There's a mic right there, too. Yeah, go ahead. All right. Joey, then guys, guys, guys, what are we doing? What are we doing?

Oh, sorry. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but I was stunned. Get up. Get the fuck up. Every man for himself. Get up. Get the fuck up, Finger. Every man for himself. Finger up. Offer the seats of the ladies first. Finger.

There we go. All right, Finger and Joey share a seat. All right. All right, so names. Ella. Talking to Mike, Ella. Ella. Ella.

I'm Emily. Emily. Finger and Joey. Yeah. Joey mic, Ella. Ella. Ella. I'm Emily. Emily. Finger and Joey. Yeah. Joey. And Finger. Goldfinger. Goldfinger.

Sam Goldfinger. Is that really? This guy, Sam Goldfinger, the smirk on his face, he hasn't gotten it off once. What are you? Every time I walk by, you've intimidated me. That's not fair. I'm just excited to be here. Talk into the mic.

Trust me. I'm just excited to be here talking to mike i'm just excited to be here okay he has helped us out on several ventures do you see the spark though yeah yeah he's always had never wiped it yeah what is that it's not devious i think he's an innocent boy i'm just i'm just excited to be here are you excited yeah all right um schools hometowns um i went to Indiana University. I just graduated. I'm from Arlington Heights,

suburb of Chicago. Action Heights. I'm going to be a senior at Syracuse and I'm from Chicago. I live in Andersonville. Broadcasting? Production. Newhouse? Oh, yes.

I'm in Newhouse. I'm studying advertising. Nerds. No offense. No offense. I'll? Oh, yes. I'm in Newhouse. I'm studying advertising. Nerds. No offense. I'll take it. That's where Jake Marsh was. He was putting an egg and they came out and it was like, here's Syracuse.

Joey, you've got a good jaw on you, dude. Thank you. I've heard that one before. I've heard that one before. You want to go for it? I know. I'll just be a jaw guy. Yeah, University of Arizona, born and raised Tucson.

Yeah. Were you the one that put Blattman on the Jumbotron? You're the fucking kid who said he had a party with Gronk when he was like 16 years old. Yes, that was me. What happened there? Gronk came back to coach the spring game, he went to the like biggest bar at uva and we were filming there that day but didn't you say like i hosted a barstool party with gronk no i didn't say i hosted i said i was there got it goldfinger's been on the yak before

in new york oh after i graduated high school yes smirk j June 18th, 2021. June 18th, 2021. The smirk is a problem. All right, Joey. I'm Joey. I'm from Chicago. I go to SMU studying sports management. All right. As Southern Methodist? Southern Methodist.

Newest ACC school. Yeah. We're coming for it. Oh, they're ACC? Yeah, SMU was actually like the Domino that like Fucked everything A lot of wealth down there We're the one who got Cal to Arkansas Pope to Kentucky

Yeah they created this whole domino effect Coaching carousel Okay you guys excited? Yeah Why are you scared? I thought there was going to be like hazing Like what? Like a big fucking rubber band thing

You guys have to go into? No, I don't know It's not that bad Hazing? I don't think there's hazing here The job in general is hazing It's more like a brush fire of hazing Not like a specific

Oh, they hazed me there It's more like you look back 10 years, you're like, that was kind of crazy. Right? Would that be a fair assessment? I think so. Once a week. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, Mook, you deserve to be hazed. Okay. All right. So you guys got to get in this rubber band. Is this like the thing where you like run into each other? Yeah. Yes.

How do you know this? I've seen it. Okay. It doesn't look fun. It looks terrible. I think it looks a little fun. I've actually been wanting to try it out. Okay, all right.

So show the video, TJ, and then we're going to get them in there, and then we'll have the other four interns come in, and we'll see how they do. We have two videos. Step inside the band and spread apart across from the partner. So we have to get kind of close to each other. Which side of the partner? You just got to commit to it. You got to sprint. This looks like it sucks.

I want to say that I do not have any expectations. So if you guys can make this look cool in any way, that's like a huge bonus. That's what I was asking. It doesn't look fun. Just get in and run. This is our hazing right now. Yeah, this is the hazing, yeah.

Are any of you guys In Greek life Yep So you have been hazed No They haze stories I've heard No no no Some do

But I've heard of like The stuff they do at frats Like what are they Like butter dogs And they just put Oh what's butter dogs They'll put anything Into a hot dog

Like it could literally Be like cigarettes And like old expired shit We're gonna do that into a hot dog. Like, it could literally be, like, cigarettes and, like, old expired shit. Oh, we're going to do that. And you just have to, like, eat it. You're giving them ideas. Write that down. Gold figure. Wait, that actually, we do do that when we do drafts.

Yeah, we do. Yeah. That's literally what we do. Once a month. Yeah, same shit. Okay, so maybe we do this. Do you want to hear the grossest one that I heard? Yeah.

Yes. They forced, like, these kids to eat a bunch of laxatives and they had to just sit on the garbage can for hours and just shit themselves. That sounds crazy. All right, so TJ, scratch that. Goldfinger, have they ever done anything stick and twist? Scratch this shitting in the garbage can off the list. It's illegal, but there was nothing behind closed doors.

It's illegal? I don't know. Is it legal anywhere like i don't think it's like a lot how do you deal with the sun sun yeah you just deal with it yeah i know but you arizona like you're you're not tan yeah i know i don't know why but just just something like that that That's classic finger, baby. Finger. Finger. Good answer. Fingers electric.

All right, so you guys ready to try this? I'm ready. Can we do the pink one? Yeah. Hell yeah. That's a classic sorority girl thing. Now, are they going out into the basketball court or trying it right now?

No, they're doing it in the basketball court. Okay. Again, I have no expectations, so don't put any pressure on yourself. This is going to suck. That's cool. What? She lives in the same town. Oh, yeah. She definitely got hazed.

Yeah. 100%. That sucks that she was like, I was worried that we're going to have to do dumb stuff. Yeah. Lo and behold. I've heard sororities do a little light hazing. Okay so they they stretch out It's over yep. Oh my god figure All right there we go all right. It's like quick change oh

My god, no bring it then okay You got to really commit to it right now The girl in the white is too thin on her side. She might get trapped in there. Yeah, give it a try. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

But it doesn't look fun. And again, there's no point. It's not springing them. No. Yeah, they're just running across the court. This is the worst product ever. Ever. There's no

winner. It's a giant headband. Alright, that was great. Yeah, good. Did you enjoy that? It was fun. Do it as much as you want. Yeah, you guys hold on to that. I don't need it back. Alright, so send the other interns down.

They're going to do that again. I guess. I fucking hate this product. I said we scrapped it. Was it expensive? It was like $100. I hate this product. I want to end this company.

I want to see the inventor of this. I want to see them talk about it. I think you'd be able to end the company. Find the inventor of this company. I hate this person. I've never bought something that I hate. I think it'd be able to end the company. Find the inventor of this company. I hate this person. I've never bought something that I hate. I think it's a mom. I don't care to see that ever again.

Let's light that shit on fire. It's so bad. There's no winner. But I thought it would spring you. Spend time with friends and family. Wait, is laugh out loud a link? Exercise without noticing? Do we have a link? Exercise without noticing? Do we have a fourth?

Exercise without noticing. I feel like you do notice it. Do you need a fourth? Yeah. Oh, dude, was that a real question? You fucking need a fourth for Boomer Bands. They're called Boomer Bands? Oh, I hate this shit so much.

All right, is there no one else? No, we got Sam. No, no, no. Get out of here. Why would he come? Jerry will go in the boomer bands with you. Come on. Sit down.

Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Fingers a legend. Chef Don. One of these is Donnie's brother. Yeah. Which one is Donnie's brother?

We know Hannah. Yeah. Fuck you and your whole family Yeah seriously It's fucking bullshit It's not fair Fucking ass It's bullshit

I know So you're the youngest Enrique's brother I am Sound just like him Uh huh They all have the same exact voice Are you

Did you just Did you go to college Yeah I'm in school right now Where University of St. Thomas In Minnesota Yeah Did you guys when you were kids Like all dress up in the same pajamas and sing songs going up and down?

No, we didn't do that. So long, farewell. A lot of the same clothes, though. My mom dresses in the same shorts. Are you, like, a man with many hobbies? Do you do extreme stunts? No, I'm kind of the opposite of Donnie i'm not yeah yeah you are you guys are polar i would never know your brothers have you slept on your ledge i have yep last night

you climbed up oh yeah i thought the rope was a joke it's not a joke uh i climbed up but you guys are all fit like you do shit yeah it'll be fine i think the only thing i'm concerned about is like bringing a chick in the chick bag you're gonna have to get her up the weekends the weekends that's a that's a good way to weed out you guys sound the same too yeah yeah but i also didn't realize how many times i have to get up and pee in the middle of the night i gotta close my eyes i know it's it's unbelievable yeah all right and then we know you, Hannah I'm Jacob and I know I'm off to a rough start Yeah, this is the rough start

You'd let him know? Well no, I said it on the yak, he's probably just watching I didn't mind that Jacob, I'm trying, I've wiped it Okay, can I address There's a question mark You can address it, but remember. There's a question mark. Okay, all right.

You can address it, but remember I've wiped the previous, so anything that happens now is new. Okay. You still want to address. I do. Okay, you could just leave it wiped. I feel like I got to stand on my. He's a problem.

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. I wasn't asking to do it. I just wanted to ask if we were going to be asked to do it because I was told to be ready to do it. I don't think I am. You should have gone with the clean slate instead of the follow-up question that's now new. It's new. Yeah, because it was wiped.

I wiped it, and now I'm i'm like damn this is a weird encounter too but it's like if i'm already at the bottom how much further can i go oh way for way further oh yeah this is for the boys low oh i don't want to get there right yeah did anybody do a first day of work tiktok you should have you should have are you guys uh you guys like actually you can get back if you do that for me tomorrow get ready with me okay yeah but just for personal use don't post it just send it to tj okay all right are you guys posters like do you make content videos i'm in social so i came up uh i'm here from the vice roy team i was on the university of florida accounts for a few

years what was your most viral tweet from that account? Viral tweet? Probably we had some football-related stuff. So probably like we had a couple, some student there had like an illegal drone that he was flying over taking pictures, and those went like really viral. Fuck yeah. It was kind of cool. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool.

Hannah, do you feel like the old head now because you've been here for two weeks you were smart yeah you were smart like because i can tell the nervous energy but you didn't have any because you're like i know everyone here i've what could happen you talk my ear off for a week yeah you got oh wait yeah that's literally what's happened yeah yeah i had a visceral reaction day one yeah i feel like that helped me yeah really feel comfortable yeah but luke's been here a lot longer wait little blood oh yeah yeah he doesn't he's in like other i don't even know what miscellaneous he's a blutman he's a special i got i got double teamed by blutman oh i walk in it was a scene yeah all right so Hannah we know you you have a huge following you did uh Jacob you did Viceroy how did you get the job here I think just nepotism okay

you probably just walked in and the in the security guard was like what's up Donnie that would be funny if you were lying about like no I'm no, I'm not. Yeah. All right, well, we're excited to have you guys. Now you got to get in the band. Get in the band. Yeah. Do we do the pink or the... It didn't look like anyone was bouncing. It's the dumbest thing ever.

I hate it. I just want to watch four more people do it and just be angry again. Okay. I'll work on it. All right, Jared. Lead them.

Donnie's brother. What's your name? Kevin. Kevin. Take these home with you. Put them up in your loft. Okay. Yeah. All right, Jared. Lead them. Donnie's brother. What's your name? Kevin. Kevin. Take these home with you. Put them up in your loft. Okay. Store these for me.

Oh, yeah. Actually, privacy wall. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I need something to cover the window, too. Does your family call Donnie Donnie? Yeah.

They do now? Oh, that's weird. Fully moved to Donnie. Oh, that's crazy. Wait, that's nuts. I don't even know his fucking name. Andrew. Oh, that's weird. Fully moved to Donnie. Oh, that's crazy. Wait, that's nuts. I don't even know his fucking name. Andrew. Oh, shit.

That ruined it. You're to Donnie. Yeah, you're new Donnie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I met Hank and he just called me Donnie. He said Donnie. Yeah, Donnie Jr.

Yeah. Yeah. We've got... Donnie's just a funny name in general. We've got two. Are you guys like rascals? Like, do you ever get into the antics? Oh, this guy's a rascal.

Were you a rascal in Gainesville? I tried out for the football team four times. That's weird. I've never played football before. Oh, that is a rascal. That's a rascal move. I like your way. So what did that entail?

Well, I went to walk-on tryoutsouts four times i forgot cleese the first time that was kind of unfortunate but i didn't fall down i got kicked in the face one time um what position did you try out at running back oh my god and did you get any carries no they they wouldn't let us use a ball for the tryouts because then it would be considered a practice. Got it. So they just had you run and you got cut? Well, every time I got the email, we decided to go in a different direction,

hope to see you at the next one. I was like, you will see me at the next one. Yeah, all right. That's actually kind of badass. I kind of love that. But was there a part of you like oh this is the year like i'm gonna oh yeah oh you were confident oh yeah how far or close were you um i mean i like i got to the point where i was like training for it and i was like convincing myself on the

treadmill that like yeah i can do this um but realistically like if i went back and watched the tape of the tryouts i probably watched and say I was miles away. Yeah. Do you know your 40 time? Yeah. So my unofficial 40 was a five. We're running back? Yep.

So my – Five what? No, you didn't finish. Okay. Five, four, five, five. Oh. Okay. That was a while ago.

I was a little lighter then too. Okay. Oh, heavens was a while ago. I was a little lighter then, too. Okay. Oh, heavens. Oh, shit. I was going to say you were a power back, but. Do you have a picture, like, of you in the jersey? Oh, yeah. They gave us practice jerseys, actually.

That's worth it right there. Yeah. That's why I wore, the first time I wore zero. I was agent zero. And then three. Or, no. It was eight, and then zero, and then three, and then four was eight and then zero and then three and then four. I don't remember the last one.

Quite the journey. Don't give up. Wow. No, give up. Quit now. Um, were you like disappointed when you got the email?

Oh yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, how good were you in high school? I didn't play in high school. Yeah. Oh,

okay. Yeah. Yeah. he didn't play any football. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He was disappointed. I didn't get my athletics bug until after high school. Oh. Yeah. That's tough to get it when you're at the University of Florida.

And when you're slow as fuck. I did beat an Olympic swimmer in a 50-yard butterfly race, so I'll take that. Man or woman? Woman. Okay. That made sense. And I got born. So you're just Leah Thomas?

Yeah, basically. Okay. No comment. Okay. Oh, you did. You said basically. All right, rascal. All right, let's go.

All right, scamps. Jerry's been out there waiting. Yeah. Get on in there. Waiting for his buddies. He does. He looks sweet. The football thing out there waiting. Yeah. Get on in there. Waiting for his buddies. He does. He looks sweet. The football thing brought you back, Jacob.

We're back to clean slate. That's amazing. Yeah, no, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah, get ready with me. I thought he was doing it like as a silly joke to get the experience, but no, no, he was really trying. Does he have the potential to be the weirdest? That's a weird.

That's a weird. Very bizarre move. Yeah, very bizarre bizarre he's also like i i don't know what it is and this is just this is something is a me problem but whenever you like meet with someone you're like any questions anyone who asks a question like you're an asshole yeah yes i don't know oh look how skinny he's when that's the opposite of what it should be and i should be saying what you mean yeah i think it's maybe the first question to ask her. The second, I'm cool with.

Alright, let's go. Wait, they're laughing. That was a giggle. Oh, they're having fun. But why? Look, they're exercising and they don't even know it. What the fuck is this? Oh, Jerry got caught. Donnie's going hard.

Donnie's going hard. Donnie cracked a smile. Oh, my God. Donnie's done this. Yeah, definitely. I think we should keep giving intern Donnie stuff to store in his room. Yes.

Will they just keep going until we tell them to stop? Probably. Never mind. I think what we need to do is we need to get the other interns and see which interns can go longer. I never want to see that again. No. That'll never appoint.

Yeah. All right. Donnie, take these. Take them. Don't ever bring them back. They got to be in your lodge. If I ever see them again, you're in trouble. But don't throw them away. Always be prepped to bring these back.

Yeah. I do like the idea of giving them trinkets to keep building up in there over time. Alright, good crop of interns. Yeah. I mean, can I be honest? That was fun for like five seconds. Five seconds? Were you the giggle?

Yeah. I'm very disappointed in that product product would you rather do that or have like a real good pimple pop would you rather do that or find a dollar bill on the ground dollar bill that or a real loud fart but it's only you nobody else hears it real loud fart would you rather that or step on a Lego? Lego. Yeah. See? Jeez. Because a Lego, like, when you step on a Lego, it hurts, but it also is, like, kind of, you know.

Like, ooh, that was thrilling. Makes you feel alive. What about really good diarrhea? You feel good. Oh, yeah. That's positive. The sweet-smelling diarrhea? I know what you're saying.

I don't think I have that. Sweet-smelling? Are you diabetic? Sometimes it smells a little sweet. A little sweet and sour chicken. A good pee out your butt. I know what you're saying. I don't think I have that. Sweet smelling? Are you diabetic? Citrus? Smells a little sweet. Yeah. A little sweet and sour chicken. A good pee out your butt, I will say.

The ice cream. Yeah. All right, so that's the worst toy of all time. I don't even think my kids would enjoy that. No. The color is nice. Is it though? No.

No. I need to see the creators of this. Is it though? No. No. I need to see the creators of this. I hate this so much. They probably know. You paid $100 for it. Yeah. $200 total. How many people bought it on Amazon?

You could see how many reviews. Didn't you say, TJ, that it's defunct? I don't think anyone defunct. The Instagram page hasn't posted in a year yeah they're done so even they know yeah they're out of business that's i they need to do a documentary on like all the dumbest ideas that came out of covet yeah because i feel like that i don't know if you guys had this experience but i had people in my life be like oh yeah like i finally i i've been thinking about making like i finally i i've been thinking about

making a board game or i've been thinking about doing this and like yep this feels like this feels like a direct attack made a board i used to make i used to love making boards yeah but you made you you're like creative maybe i want like a list of just all the dumb covid is this her oh man yeah this makes so much sense founder of boombas boob bands boomba bands booma bands this is one of those things where you do it and you make it out of bed sheets in the backyard and then like the neighbor's like you should sell these yeah right that's what i'm saying it's a it's a dumb kovat thing like have you ever thought about it was we had a guy in our neighborhood invent a shovel what it was like a a shovel for snow but

it was like a real long piece of wood and he tried to sell that and it went was it kodiak no it wasn't kodiak all right my entire family got into essential oils oh yeah it was just like a giant pyramid that was a phase yeah i still want to do hank and i had an idea that and we still probably will try to do it but i want to do like a shark tank for like dumb games and invest in one of them oh yeah because there's so many out there now i have one that i just invested in what i'm doing the telephone pole thing yeah and it's called mercenaries of gradaris i'm all nick you would love it he He did a whole trailer for it where him and all his buddies are dressed up. And it's like a 30-minute version of Dungeons & Dragons.

It's like a 15, 30-minute. And I invested in his Kickstarter for it. But look up Mercenaries of Gridaris. This guy has a whole video, a whole team. They just had a meetup last week, and they invited me. And the trailer is adorable. He's dressed up like a but anyway what's the price the time has come yes i feel it in the air this guy lost his job and then

this is what he did oh it's not a price okay so i tasted in the cheese see like this is what i'm talking about we should we should we should have we should play this game well he said i can come to the next meetup and start to plan. I was like, Nick, I got to wait, wait, wait for it and see the little characters real quick. I'm sorry. Dartondalus the cunning? Dartondalus the cunning?

Yes. Wait, there's so many cute characters. By the way, they would make a new world filled with life and peace. Oh my God. Is that Rudy? It's like an Always Sunny episode. Yeah, I bought this immediately as soon as I saw it on the telephone pole. Rico just kills the mop.

The guy's here in Chicago. In the darkness, D'Artondalus forged creatures of his own. Creatures of monster and shadow and business. Business. Now the time has come to battle for the soul of Grataris. Choose your kingdom. Your tyranny ends here. Assemble the mercenaries. I'm stronger than last time.

Control the battlefield. But this time, he's not alone. And save Grodalis. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Good point. In this fast-paced card game...

You can see why I'm invested in this now. I pay enough that I get the game when it comes in, but we just need a few more investors. If only there was a man. Wait, there's over 60 ways to play? Oh, Nick, you're buying this for sure. Yeah. And it only takes, look, 15 to 30 minutes each game.

Was it a good game? I haven't gotten it yet. I won't get it until they hit their goal. But they said I could come to their next meetup and play with them. Mercenaries of Gradaris. Yeah. Maybe feel them out out see if they're legit he seems very legit

he's a local guy I'm in on Gradaris please order it please support live action Gradaris we gotta get these guys in the office but think about like doing a shark tank with all these different I don't know how many times I've seen the football that you throw into the lawn chair in the office. Your tyranny ends. But think about like doing a shark tank with all these different games.

Like I don't know how many times I've seen the football that you throw into the lawn chair. The little drinking game. Yeah, the golf with like a

Is it bucket golf? Yeah, bucket golf. That's cool. There was kids in the park yesterday like hipsters playing music and boozing but it was like

five wooden stacks. It looked like a horseshoe game but it made a clonk sound. Horseshoe but clonk, eh? There was five different things. Oh, I actually used to play this game. Washers.

Was it washers? I don't know. Washers. Yeah, washers. We used to play washers. I'm trying to play Stump this summer. Stump is amazing. I love Stump.

Is that where you hammer the- Yeah. That's hard. That somebody had that in the appeal. It's fun, though. So fun. You've got to stump with nails. You've got to flip the hammer and catch it,

and as you catch it, bring it down and hit everybody else's nails down. We should have that here. We should get a stump. That'd be sick. You know what's better than all of this, though? Just a good old-fashioned football toss, and it's back in a big way. You guys see that compilation of...

Dude's jumping off? I did. Oh, yeah. Football toss is the best part of my day. The sound was the big cat singing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, it was? Yeah, it was to you singing the national anthem. the big cat singing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, it was? Yeah, it was to you singing the national anthem.

Yeah. Oh, we probably made that. Yeah. Just do the catching balls. Got it. Did you guys see the, seeing the mop triggered me? I sent it to you, TJ.

You see the mop boy highlights? Real one, yeah. This fucking kid rocks. Yeah. Rico wants this kid to die. Well, Rico said the mop was the worst day of his life. This fucking kid rocks. Yeah. Rico wants this kid to die. Well, Rico said the mop was the worst day of his life. Yeah. Look at this kid.

Crazy. He made highlight tape for himself. That's good. Yeah. Be proud of what you are. I feel like the mop is actually fun because you're so close to the cord. You're right there. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Is that Rico Nadeau happening? I don't know. What's the proposed thing? I think Nadeau is doing a very Nadeau. This is from my inside knowledge of talking to Dave about it. Nadeau is just doing the same thing where his proposal was garbage

because he was like not gonna move He's not willing to move I don't know he might be willing to move But in the proposal it didn't have him moving And Dave and I both agreed like We've done this two times now Like if he's gonna do it he's gotta move All in yeah

I'd be happy to have him here But it's just like you can't we can't be like oh let's hire him and then he doesn't move yeah yeah yeah the rican or do off would be great i know i'm itching for it what is this it's we we'd actually probably host it it would be yeah it'd be clemmer versus all physical yeah and the the winner if the do wins he gets an automatic contract. If Rico wins, Dave has to sign that Nadeau will never work at Barstool Sports again. Love that.

Is Nadeau athletic in any way? But he's no, no, no, no. But he's confident. Yeah. Well, we would obviously make it so it's not all athletics. Yeah. It'd be everything. But I think if you ask Nadeau He would say he will win everything

I think that goes a long way I like that about him There's something about Nadeau that just always keeps me coming back I like him He's an interesting cat And his podcast does well I listen to it He has beef with actual gangsters

Sammy the Bull That's scary as fuck. That's an incredible clip. Sammy the Bull. Did you see that clip, Dan? Yeah, Sammy the Bull calling him out. So good. Yeah, no, Nadeau, he has a je ne sais quoi that I can't.

I know what you mean. But again, if he doesn't move, it's like, what are we doing? So that's kind of where we're at. I think we're at a standing pattern on that. He's great to look at. He is. I know. I know. I think he would thrive at. I think we're at a standing pattern on that. He's great to look at. He is. I know. I think he would thrive here.

I think so, too. It's hard not to. Who hasn't thrived? Shit. Everyone who moved has thrived. Yeah, it's done really well. Yeah. We're thriving here.

Would Rico move? He's talked about it. I don't think so he would thrive he would you think Rico would thrive yeah I don't know he's so Staten Island to me so yeah I don't know what I don't know how his body would react yeah with Staten Island I think he would like he would stop having so much stress I think would, yeah. It's hard to be stressed when you're in New York and then you leave New York. The stress kind of melts off of you.

That's not a knock on New York. It's just a hard place to live. It's fun for a while. It's just very in your face. You almost don't realize it until you go somewhere else and then you're like, oh my god. Yeah, wow, I've been holding this all in my neck.

I got a question. Yeah. A little off topic. Okay. So my next door neighbor, I'm not going to say their names or whatever, but they're really nice people. These are the people that send you stuff? Yeah. And their kids are like 19. I think 19 is one of them.

The other one is in his last year of the University of Michigan. They play video games, but I've always felt awkward. No. You don't think so? No. They're fans. Yeah. Squad up with them.

You can game with them. You think so? That's not weird? Are you having them? I don't want the dad to be like, oh, this 30-year-old guy wants to play video games with my kids. So what if he does? They're playing with 30-year-old guys all the time online. True.

You're not going over to their house. No, no, just like online. But if they invited you over and they're like, hey, let's do a pillow fort. This is the thing that happened. So the wife messaged me and like, hey, it's Blah Blah Blah's birthday, her son. Happened to be the day after my birthday. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. She's like, yeah, they're going to be a little bit loud in the backyard, but they would love for you to come over and say what's up and hang out.

They're all their friends or fans. I felt really weird. And my girlfriend was like pushing me, go, go, go. Anyway, that's how this all stemmed. Did you go? I didn't, no. Oh, Jerry. Oh, oh cherry oh no i'm not you gotta go say hi so that's when the next day i was like oh it's all good i was like hey was your son's birthday he's like today the day she's like yeah i was like oh mine was yesterday that's when they bought over the bunk cakes oh oh yeah play play what do they play play something with them yeah madden call of duty and stuff like that it's easy

yeah play some shit with them. Yeah. Not weird. Like, if you were a dad, that wouldn't be weird, right? No. They're old enough. If they were younger, I'd, but no. And you're young enough.

Yeah, right? You're a homeowner. Yeah, so is he. Right, I know. So you, like, he's got to respect you as a homeowner. Well, I'll be honest. What? He's a little intimidating. bald head oh stocky motorcycle i don't know i haven't took a peek in the garage and i haven't seen him on a

bike so i don't know how's the construction going in your house good very good everything's going smooth everything will be done in june when do i get to go test it out? Dude, we should hit up the sauna together. We should have a sauna day. I know. You have a type of sauna? Yeah. Plunge. Jerry's making an entire spa in his house.

On the other side. That's amazing. Yeah, it'd be awesome. I want to get into that shit. Rogan, big fan, all these guys. You're going to sauna. I want to lose weight. That's my thing. But I got to get into that shit. Yeah. Rogan, big fan, all these guys. You're going to sauna. I want to lose weight. That's my thing. But I got to eat better, too.

Sauna. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. No? That won't do shit. Sweat it off. Get on a Zempic. No, I've heard bad stories.

Yeah, no. You see Guy Fieri? Bad stories, yeah. Oh, was that you that did you? It was Guy Fieri. What happened with him? No, I just heard bad stories from Kyle. Oh, you've you that did you? It was Guy Fieri. What happened with him? No, I just heard bad stories from Kyle. Oh, you've heard some bad things?

I've said I'll do Ozempic the minute Kyle says I can. Okay. Yeah, no, not a chance. What are the effects, though? People are shitting their brains out, right? Loss of motivation? Vomiting? That would suck.

Does your dick stop working? Loss of motivation? You got to get on my... I've actually lost 10 pounds just by having Chef Donnie cook me lunch. No shit. Yeah. Because I just don't... Because he doesn't cook any...

I say no carbs, and then I just don't eat carbs. I saw you hocking a sandwich over the trash can. That one was different today. Over the trash can? Over the trash can. Oh, man. He didn't make it up. Why were you going over the trash can?

He was hiding. Well, it was dripping. It was a steak sandwich. I only ate a quarter of it. Portion control. That's what I have a problem with. Also, you know what? Because I have lost like 10 pounds since football season.

The fact that we work in a gym. True. Like I play basketball twice a week, which is two times more than I ever got my heart rate going for the last seven years. Those pickup games are cardio. Yeah. It's awesome. You always send the post what you look like afterwards.

Yeah. Haunting. Disgusting. The worst I ever look. Yeah. I played one pickup game Friday, and I felt it until yesterday. I was out of breath until fucking Monday. Basketball is a great workout.

Great workout. One of the best. It's just fun. So, yeah. Andball's a great workout. Great workout. One of the best. It's just fun. So yeah. Just keep it and I'm wearing black shirts. That helps? Sheds, sheds.

Really? Yeah. Are you doing the Oh, do you just look skinnier when you wear a black shirt? You can't see any shadows. I can't see any titties. If I were you

I wouldn't even focus on weight loss. I would just hit hit the weights. Bulk up? You have the you know, the body type of on weight loss. I would just hit the weights. Bulk up? You have the body type of someone who could look real bulky. Just bulk up. I have been lifting, too.

That is a big one. Because lifting will just, like, especially squats. What about steroids? Retabulism? Yeah. It's steroids, yes. You are just going for the Joe Rogan. That guy's ripped.

He is ripped. You think he's on steroids? No, probably not, but all his buddies are. He's on something that we can't get. I think he is. Yeah. Really? Oh, he is? I would guarantee almost.

Yeah. He's on some shit that scientists have developed in a garage. I wouldn't doubt that. Yeah. Who would do TRT? What's that? Testosterone. TRT, it's called?

Is there any downsides to it? I think once you do it, you have to stay on it for the rest of your life. Feels like a downside. Yeah, and that's a needle in the ass every day. Wait, does your body stop producing it on its own? It ages you physically and medically. Oh, yes. Really? No. What about HGH?

Isn't that what Larry King was on? I don't know anything about it Made him live so long? PFD and I are going to try to get in the best shape of our lives For our 40th birthday And then get fat right after Fuck yes So I got 8 months

To get in the best shape of your life? Yeah I'm not going to I'm going to try to get to 220 What are you now? Which you is 235 Oh okay Oh you got that 40 i was 250 55 at the end of football season and then you're letting go then just just just touch it kiss the wall and come back but i feel like if you gain all that weight at 40 you have that forever oh yeah no i know

oh you're you're signing off on being a fat guy yeah i just said i wanted one last like go being like i did it. I can do it. Is that something you have to check with your wife? Like, I can let go now? Like, it's all over? Yeah. No.

I think she should just be like, what's the deal here? You're going to be like, I was good. What's going on right now? Yeah. I don't know if I'd want to have a fat dad. Ooh, powerful though. to have a fat dad. Powerful, though. Here comes your fat dad. My dad used to be a truck.

Yeah? Yeah, he was like 300. Having an enormous dad, I think I'd be embarrassed as a kid. I think fat dads are kind of fun. Did you have a fat dad? No. A beer belly dad. That's fine.

That's fine. But like a slob of a dad? Yeah, I probably got to get a truck. belly dad that's fine that's fine yeah but like a slob of a dad yeah i probably gotta get strong my my son said that uh a kid in his class his dad is stronger than me what my son's struggling with he's about to be five he's struggling with the differences between uh strength and like age like he'll ask me like what's stronger our car or our house that's a good question that's not a great question i think i go house yeah well i was like well the house isn't really strong and the car could hit someone but i guess house yeah the structure of it no because look at a tornado

wait this is a really good this is good for him yeah so he keeps. And then so and then he equates age to strength. So he's older. I was like, I was like picking him up. And I was like, I'm the strong. I kind of started it because I was like, I'm the strongest guy in this house. And he was like, a monster is stronger than you. And I was like, I would. No doubt.

Crush a monster. Oh. And then he dropped. He was like, well, so and so's Dad is stronger than you And I know the dad He's taller than me And that hurt You gotta beat up the dad

Yeah That hurt real bad We're saying I have to like Stage like Max To like fake break Into my house And kick his ass

What a bad idea But yeah It's tough to have that Just like Hanging over me That he's walking around Being like Yeah there's this kid

In my class His dad's way stronger than you. You should. That would be a good business. You have actors like you could beat up a guy in front of your son. Yeah. Yeah. That's good.

Yeah. Fuck out of him. That's good. Yeah. I mean, I'm in the. You want to kick my ass in front of your boy? That'd be great. All right.

Steven, are you in the weird question zone? He's the weird question end. It'd be funny if your son just asked only real questions. Che asked his son if it was the car versus house question. No, not super

weird questions. We're into superheroes and stuff. All that's weird. My son asked me why I don't have a space rocket? That's a good question. Why don't you? Why don't you ask me if my my my youngest who's just turned one. He's like when when he turns two, will he speak Spanish or English? What the fuck?

It's a curious boy. Yeah. It's a million questions. Long weekend of just. I think I'd lose my patience. Yeah. The rocket one really. That was another one lose my patience. Yeah, I just... The rocket one really...

That was another one where I was just like, yeah, it's really expensive. He's like, well, you could buy it. And I was like, god damn it. This kid is just cucking me left and right. No, I have bamboo bands instead. Yeah. That's kind of how we treat you, though.

Yeah, no, it's true. Why don't we have that? That's exactly how we treat you. Why don't we have a space rocket? So, yeah, the weird questions. It just gets lobbed at you constantly. Curiosity is a good thing. No, it's great.

I answer them. I harvest it. I ask for it. I've been learning a lot. You wanted to know bees and honey, and I was like, actually, I have no idea how bees make honey. Do you know they store pollen in little balls on their leg fur? Oh, shit. They go around.

It's like giant satchels of pollen on their legs. And then they take it back and they scrape it off into the thing. Bugs is a no-go in my house. Oh, we're big bugs right now. Every time we talk about bugs, my son will come in at 2 in the morning being like, there's a bug in my room. I was like, fuck. We're huge.

I did that all Saturday night. I had to sleep in his room. And he's just like, every 20 minutes, he's like, there's bugs in here. I was like, turn on the light, and he'd turn it on, and he'd just be like, no, you're right, there's no bugs. Just repeat over and over. Yeah, it's torturous. How's he going to be with cicadas? They're all over my house.

Are they? Here's the thing. A lot of the trees, I think, in chicago might not be old enough for them that's what i was reading so we won't get a ton oh that's a ton fantastic news yeah i mean we'll get some but i don't think it's going to be like the shit that is happening oh that's i saw buildings completely covered yeah aren't they only out for like two weeks or so yeah but they're everywhere steven they're gone in another week, I think. They like, if you get a swarm, you watch that video of uh,

you search Marcus Leshock, he was out in Western Groves and he, they were just falling off the tree on him. They're gross. There's some other bug that's very similar to a cicada that, I don't know if it's indigenous to- Roly-Poly? No. It looks just like, they're very slow and I don't know if it's indigenous to... Roly-poly? No. It looks just like they're very slow and just don't move and you can just step on them. Do you know what I'm talking about?

They were out last year. No. Oh, Steven, hold on. Oh, man. I know what you're talking about. Oh, fuck. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Did they have like a reddish color to them too? Oh, I thought they were like kind of green. Okay, never mind. We're thinking of something different. I saw in my previous video with this tree that was absolutely just crawling with cicadas. Well, five days later, it is still crawling with cicadas. They are coming out of the ground. They are still in that big pile around the tree.

They are climbing up the trunk looking for a mate. And now the big difference today, five days days later is the noise that you hear here You hear this faint drone in the air the warmer it gets this morning the more noise they're starting to make I Think it's kind of relaxing noise That's the noise and a lot of summer Yeah, yeah to kind of get off the ground and fly around with mostly not very great results I hate is not known to be I have a take I think skaters are fucking pussies And you're attempting to kind of get off the ground and fly around with mostly not very great results. Cicadas not known to be great flyers.

I think cicadas are fucking pussies. Yeah, they don't bite. 17 years. And then they show up and die? Yeah. I don't respect them. Like, if they, like, terrorized us, I'd at least respect them. Like, they've been waiting 17 years to attack us. They just show up and fucking die.

They're fucking bitches. They are. They don't bite. They don't do shit. They used to be a plague, right? They don't tickle. I think you're thinking of locusts. Locusts.

What's the difference? Oh, they're the same shit. No idea. I think locusts are like grasshoppers. Okay. Is that what we had then? Locusts? That's what I remember them, and I think it was interchangeable i think it's just terminology these kids are bitches dude imagine just fucking

underground and then just all of a sudden just showing up and be like oh i'm dead yeah why don't they come here in it it's all across the midwest okay st louis got them real bad right now. The loo. Have you heard about the Saudi megaproject city? Yes, the line. I am fascinated. I think they canceled it. No, no. They- Pump brakes?

Pump the brakes. What? It is insane. It's 110 miles long. Super futuristic. There's an artificial moon in the sky, I guess. Everyone lives in one. It's a long ass building.

Yeah. It's like a. Yeah. And there's going to be like a subway train that goes just straight through it back and forth all day long. I think they pumped a trillion dollars into this. Well, they started it and it's been hitting all these all these roadblocks, like one of the big ones was that the first section of it, they excavated a shit ton of dirt right into where the next part was supposed to go. And so then they had to like.

Here's what I don't understand about these projects. When you're sitting there like they're planning it and they're like, it's going to take 20 years. I just feel like, no thanks. That's too long. This is going to take them like 100 years. Yeah. It's like planting a weeping willow. If you plant one of those, you'll be dead.

Who are you planting it for? Well, the original plan was 2039, so not too far. Still, I would say no. That is the distant future. Yeah, that's way too far. This is the result of people being afraid to tell the top guy no, right? Yeah, you're an asshole. They have too much money.

This is that oil money. If this is your idea, you're an asshole. Yeah, they have too much money. I this is your idea, you're an asshole. Yeah, they have too much money. I guess they are starting to buy sports teams. Yeah. I was going to say. They're buying two big rubber bands. Because I have a longstanding belief that if you are a super rich guy

and you don't own a sports team, you're a fucking loser. What else are you supposed to do with your money? Yeah. I can't fathom how much money they have, though. Right, if you have $10 billion, what are you supposed to do? You're supposed i can't fathom how much money they have though right if you have 10 billion dollars what what are you supposed to do you're supposed to buy a sports team they're buying soccer teams yeah they own man city but like bezos you're a fucking loser dude own a team own a team own an nfl team that's the coolest thing a rich guy can do or start a team like

think about it you could have a hundred hundred billion dollars it still wouldn't be as cool as fucking winning a lombardi not even close right yeah so what are you doing dude own a team was he close to the commanders i don't know i just can't believe it whenever like they're just there you should put them on a list any rich guy that doesn't own a team because like even the nerds get them. Was Dave rich enough to get a team? Not even close. Really? Not even close. The supply is... There are so few teams that are for sale.

But if you have $100 billion, you don't think a team is... $100 billion? Yeah. How much does Bezos have? Just put your dick on the table. Yeah, you just be like, oh, cool. I want... I don't know. Name a team. Jaguars.

The New Orleans Saints. I'll pay you $10 billion for it. They'd do it. They'd do it in a heartbeat. How much money do you need to buy a team? I think you need like four or five bill. Well, no, but you need, you need, you need. To be majority?

Liquid, you need a lot because you need, like, I don't know what Beos is liquid what's the cheapest team to buy right now how much are the coyotes they're they don't exist uh whatever they'll be i guess they still what's the cheapest nfl team jaguars bills or billions i mean i mean billions like you could understand oh billions yeah that was very confusing. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The name of an NFL team. When we asked what team would be the cheapest, he said Bill. Look it up, TJ. What do we think?

That was the wrong thing to say. The Panthers might have been. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think who. Maybe the Cardinals? The Columbus Blue Jackets for all sports. Yeah.

What's this? All right. Yeah, this is NFL. Bengals. Yeah, that makes sense. Wow. I would take the Bengals. Bills.

Jay Bills. Wow. That's new facility. It's based on like assets, right? And like where. Yeah. Market. Those bottom three teams teams who's number one cowboys cowboys yeah nine years or fifth patriots so are the patriots and they're ranking entirely due to

like brady in that era pretty much that's insane when you move to a market like the raiders being top 10 yeah is that more of a history? That's a history as well. Yeah, because look, all the teams here are either big market or history. I'm shocked that the Steelers aren't top 10. I think they're very cheap. I think it's just based on the city. Yeah. It's so small.

Yeah, but the history. And their owner, like, you know how owners have stuff that got them rich? Yeah. Steelers, Roonies are just Steelers. That's the Bears. Yeah, but the history. You know how owners have stuff that got them rich? Roonies are just stealing. That's the Bears. Bears fucking George House got it for like $100. Yeah, that's always cool. The Bears should be the number one.

They don't own their own stadium though. That's tough. They're like the biggest market, right? Aren't they getting hangups too with the move of the stadium Because they can't knock this one down True They can't knock down Soldier Yeah I don't know what their plan is I think it's just all bullshit

I still think it's Arlington Heights I hope it is You do hope it is They want to build A world class stadium on the lakefront With like there's not enough space Would it still stadium on the lakefront with, like, there's not enough space. Would it still be on the lakefront up there? No.

No, no. But the transportation is set up perfectly. The land is perfect. Yeah. You build a whole, like, shrimp mall. Shops and shit. I hate when a stadium's outside. Me too.

I hate it. Like, it ruins the 49. Like, you've got to go an hour and a half to go to a 49. It's not San Francisco. It's not D.C. So often, though. It's not Dallas. It and a half To go to a night Not San Francisco It's not DC So often though It's not Dallas It's so often

Go into a jet ski This is the new Isn't there no parking Yeah They were to do underground People started being like Take the fucking train But then you have to walk

The train is set up perfectly In Arlington Heights But it's also like I complained about no parking And people were like Oh you fucking You can't You're too good for public transportation. No.

Yes. No, I'm not. What I was going to say is it's a fucking football game. People want to tell me that. And like, you can't gatekeep it to just people that live in the city. Right. And but like Wrigley has no parking. That's fine.

It's not a football game. You don't tailgate a baseball game. TJ, is Arlington Heights on? Do they have a thing for Arlington Heights? Like a mock-up? Yeah. Yeah, it was like a big marshmallow. Really?

Yeah, it was cool. No, it does suck, though, when you tailgate all day, you watch a full game, and then you're trapped at that stadium. You can't just walk somewhere after. Even like a Giants or Jets game. Yeah, that's hell on earth. Steelers games too, Nick, are kind of shitty to get out of. It's in the city.

Yeah, I know. Detroit's pretty good. Detroit is literally downtown. You just walk around. Pittsburgh's in the city and has parking lot tailgates. It does have parking lot. In Philly, we have all three in walking distance. I like that.

That's how I like that. Pittsburgh shares a parking lot with a casino, which is fun. Is it in Philly moving the Sixers, though? Supposedly, yes. I like when it's all there. It's nice. Yeah. The World Cup is going to be all across the U.S.?

All across U.S., Canada, and Mexico, I think. MetLife is going to be a nightmare. Does Chicago get a game? Nope. Finally, they had a new stadium. MetLife's going to be a nightmare. Does Chicago get a game? Nope. Apparently they had a new stadium. MetLife is going to suck. Is that this summer? No.

Two summers. Two summers. I think we have the Euro this summer. Euros, yeah. It's actually a fun one. We should maybe pick some winners for that. Yes, please. Someone has to go to one of those countries.

I would love to. We should do that. Oh, speaking of which, Ronan Sasser here tomorrow. Do we have an extra seat, TJ, we can bring in here? Is Sass going to be here tomorrow? Yeah, I could look around for something. I don't think he's going to be here in time. Okay.

Sass said he might not be here in time for Roofball. Yeah, I think Sass lands at noon Thursday. Oh, really? All right, so he's out on Roofball. PFT's in. Is he out? Oh, he's coming. There's no way he's going to be here at noon. The show starts at noon. He said he might get an earlier flight. All right, so if he gets an earlier flight, he's in Is he out? Oh he's coming There's no way He's gonna be here at noon

The show starts at noon He said he might get an earlier flight Alright so if he gets an earlier flight He's in But if he's not PFT is I don't want PFT in He'll be really good

He'll be really good Alright PFT's out He's out But he would be a good hang Simple as that Great hang Fuck I want him back in I want him back in too

So excited for Rufus Have him play lefty I don't know I don't know if he'll be that good I want him back in. I want him back in, too. So excited for Rufus. Have him play lefty. I don't know if he'll be that good. For some reason, I picture him as pretty athletic. He is, but I don't think that's necessarily the strongest. Maybe it would be fine. I don't think it would be like he's going to dominate.

Back in? Tommy was decent last time we played. Tommy was in it? He's not like was in it? Tommy threw it over the roof a few times. But he was leading until that throw. Wait, can we add another group or is that too many then, TJ? It may

change how many wild cards and stuff there are, but if we added three more people, we could add three more people. Should we just scrap a wild card? I would love to hang with Tommy. Well, if Tommy comes in, PFT can have a group. Text Tommy. Tell him to come out for a roof ball.

There's someone else coming with Ronan and Sass. Frankie? Francis. Oh, Francis. Francis is here? I think Francis is shooting a special. Oh, right. So then wait. Tommy doesn't have to come no do we want Tommy to come like if he wants to all right ask Tommy if Tommy can't come then PFT and

Francis and then we'll add a third so we'll have five groups TJ okay so how does that affect the I think it eliminates one wild card so So what? That does kind of suck. Are we case- Wait, we can create our own- We can do whatever we want. Right. What about the last two wild cards ping off to get into the- Sudden ping?

Yeah. I think what we'll do is- No, this is what we'll do. We'll do group winners. So five group winners. And one wild card. And we'll do three wild cards to then play a wild card elimination. Yeah.

To make one. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's easy. It's going to be a fucking fun day. I'm really excited for it. Yeah.

And then we're going gonna have Connor Griffin be announcing And then The rest of us Like Me, Nick Roan, KB Sit in with Connor Yeah

Yeah Be great And then the The guy whose House it is Is gonna compete as well Oh hell yeah And he's making jello shots

And Jambalaya What? And Jambalaya? Cajun Mike Cajun well. Oh, hell yeah. And he's making jello shots. And Jambalaya. What? And Jambalaya? Cajun Mike. Cajun Mike? Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, Cajun Mike.

Cajun Mike. What's the rule on shitting in his house? Kyle, were you shitting in the last guy's house, didn't you? No, I actually didn't. But you had to? I did. Held it.

Good guy Have you ever shit on a plane? Yeah Yeah You both have? More than a few And a train Oh god

Train shit Not a bad shit Is bad The toilet's clean Like there's nothing clogged up It's just cramped It is Train shit is the worst

The worst Yeah You're like hopping up and down It rocks like cream Sorry Not that I would know Another Bill's situation Yeah Sweet Sass doesn't come until Thursday? worst yeah you're like hopping up and down it rocks like cream another bills situation yeah sweet sass isn't coming till thursday is that what he said on the chat maybe i'm wrong

i said he needs to be there by 11 and he said i don't land until 12 so he might be confused about it might be confused about that or getting to yeah time, or getting to the location from the airport. Wait. Sass is, are you sure he's, is he thinking that probably, oh, I thought he was coming tomorrow. Is Roan coming tomorrow? I thought they both, I don't know. Why don't we call him? All right, I'll call Ron.

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you've got to try. Original Peach, Lemon, and Raspberry. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. I had a lot of these this weekend. Ranking. Raspberry, Peach, Original, Lemon. I became a Lemonhead this weekend. You were a Lemonhead. That's the last time I ranked.

I was a Peach gal and now Team Lemon. I was a Peach gal. And now Team Lemon. I'm a Peach boy. Roan, when do you get in? Tomorrow morning. What time? Before the act. Oh, love it. And what about Sass?

He's coming in Thursday? No, he's coming in tomorrow. That's what I thought. He had it confused. He's coming in tomorrow morning, same time as me. Oh, okay. Same time. All right, perfect.

Same time as me, like okay. All right, perfect. All right, and you're in for roofball. You should be fine with that. I think PFT is going to compete too, so it won't conflict with pop punk. Okay, all right it's gonna be it's gonna be a blast are uh are you guys excited to hang out oh very excited to hang out yeah very excited to hang out we're super excited to hang out too we can't stop talking about that it's gonna be a great weekend i'm excited all right all right i'll uh i'll see you tomorrow all right later all right so we got to get an extra chair in here for Ronan's cast tomorrow.

Okay, so there's just some confusion. So, then do we need to add another group of three or Tommy? The beef can be available if needed. I'm sure he'd love to play.

I was talking about the beef this weekend. Yeah? Yeah. He's an interesting guy. I was thinking about him. You say that like it's you don't live with him. He's sired two of your children. I know, but he's still mysterious to me.

I don't know how much money he makes a year. I don't know what he does downstairs all day Yeah you guys could be Incredibly well off You could have an eviction notice on your door Legit a mystery Was he on kid duty all weekend?

Yeah Anything missing on the child? No I checked they did pretty good I was expecting them to have Nike swoops Shaved into the sides of their heads No they're good fact that did pretty good they did pretty i was expecting to have like nike's swoops shaved into the sides of their heads or something oh they're good but you can do roof ball if you need another guy i've got tree trunk legs it's good to be sturdy for roof ball is that what you noticed

first about him yeah oh immediately i like a guy that looks like he can flip a car off yeah if you need it yeah that's him that's him but he's also the one that got the car on top yeah yeah yeah a little bit of both but it's good to be sturdy Jerry you have I'm saying like if you bulked up your neck no I'm not I bulked down my neck

no I'm saying it would take very little for people to be like oh you're buff that's what I said I don't know I never like worked out like how do i say this i worked out but i never like had a goal and like stuck to it yeah yeah jerry you want to start working out together i wouldn't mind that yeah i want to get buff you two should there's a morning workout crew here is there really i think smokes is a part of

that right uh max and Donnie and KB. Donnie does it the most. How long would it take me to get buff? Week and a half. Yeah? Yeah. What about lean? Decades. Really? Are you talking about yourself? You'd have to probably wait until you get a terminal illness.

I have to wait till what? I was saying Jerry's going to have to wait until he get a terminal illness. I'd have to wait until what? I was saying Jerry's got to wait until he gets a terminal illness to get lean. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't think I'll ever be lean again. You were lean? Have you ever tried lean? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah.

I loved lean. It's great. Everybody who tries lean loves it. I've never heard anything less than a five-star. No, lean is really good. Did you ever robo-trip? What's that? Oh, I did. Oh, I did. That was our era. It really makes you feel like shit. heard anything less than a five star. Lean is sick. Did you ever robo trip? What's that?

Oh, I did. That was our era. It really makes you feel like shit. And then the over-the-counter weed. What was it? K2. K2 is dangerous. I robo tripped in college.

That was regrettable. I never understood the appeal. Oh, you felt like you have no bones. Yeah. I felt like it was itchy. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah. And I had a headache after.

Real bad. Not great. We used to do lean sundaes in Philly. What? Like once a month. Like ice cream? No. Just like lean. My buddy had cough syrup. Oh, you did it on Sunday. Yeah, just one Sunday a month. I'm so dumb. I thought you put it over vanilla ice cream. That's a great idea.

You would eat a fuck ton of ice cream though. Lean ice cream. Oh yeah, everybody gets fat on lean, right? Yeah. That and painkillers, you just munch out. You don't shit when you're on painkillers. No, you get constantly. Yeah.

All right, Francis is in. Castor oil. So Francis, PFT, and then Tommy if Tommy wants to. Yes. And if Tommy doesn't we could also have Frankie Borelli well he's gonna be out here for pop punk love oh fuck yeah yeah that's the last

employee phone number I need to get he's been holding out on me so TJ that'll be fine right five groups then we'll like I said we'll do five winners and and then the wild card off. Yeah. Cool. And I don't think we need to do a bracket.

I actually would like to do the number one point getter gets to pick who's in their next group. Yeah. Why? Because you think it'll be you? No. Remember how bad I was? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

I was so bad, dude. Yeah, you ended up in a river. Yeah, you were kind of pissed off. You were frustrated. I was mad because it's such a fun game and all I want to do is keep playing. You got on the roof. Yeah, on the roof. That's right. You know, I was terrible.

We were grilling too, right? That was a fun day. So, TJ, maybe we'll wheel for groups tomorrow instead of doing the throw off. That will get it time cut down and then you can get the graphics ready. Yep. So yeah, tomorrow we'll wheel for groups and then we'll roofball. It was one of the funnest things we've done. Just being kids

again out there. I wonder what those twins are up to. Which twins? At the championship first and second place were a pair of twins. They were very, very good second place were a pair of twins. A pair of twins. They were very, very good. Wow. I love twins, dude.

Was their mom a roof? I don't think so. Their mom was a roof and their dad was a football? They were super, super devoid of any charisma. No emotion coming from those boys. Purely roofball. Midwest showed out, though. It was like Detroit, right?

Yeah, they're from Michigan. I won't be going back. Well, if you win, you will. No, I didn't win this last time, and I went out there. But if you win, you will. All right. That's right. I think I am going to win.

Yeah? Yeah, because i won the money round you did you won yeah we might have to do a cash prize jerry you gave me like a thousand ones that's all i had yeah strip club yeah yeah jerry loves a strip club yeah and i'm not i don't go anymore i think they're going to go extinct pretty soon No shot I bet you in 15 years they're going to be able to come by No young people Kids aren't interested anymore

This is maybe the worst take you've ever had No way man Guys are always horny Trust me People aren't as horny as they once were This is the worst take you've ever they're going to go they're going to go the way of the dinosaur they're never it's it's different than prostitution but your prostitution is the oldest profession right but it this it evolves

yeah so yeah right exactly we're gonna be jerking off with vr no strip would rather be paying fans strip clubs would just be everybody's on antidepressants where you can't even get hard strip clubs would just be you can have sex you think they'll evolve they have those oh 18 to 24 year olds aren't going out they're not you guys are so wrong look at bars look at drinking dude drinking's way down you guys are talking about online people but that's the the generation. Online, is this a thing? After us. But no, if you go to a SEC or a Big Ten college right now, you don't think that there are strip club guys there? Yeah, but the numbers are decreasing rapidly.

That may be true, but I still think like- They're going to have to evolve. I feel like you guys are talking about the TikTokers in Williamsburg. I think I am. I'm talking about Meat and Potatoes America. They love ass, titties, pussy. We'll see. I'm not buying any stock in strip clubs.

No. I would. I want all the stock. Yeah. And prostitution. You guys are, no offense. We missed the mark on this one. No, you guys are giving off big time chick energy right now.

Yeah, I'm, you know. You get that, Kate? You get that from me right now? Just like, I'm sitting next to two lady boys.'ve been i've been fighting the allegations my whole life yeah i'd be the last nail in the gay coffin and i'm not even a strip club guy like i'll go but it's not i'm not like jerry who's like i gotta go to a strip club is that jerry yo yeah did you go with stew wait did you carry you fell in love you you A woman scammed you and left and went to Brazil and never came back. That is a fact.

But. What? That was years ago. Yeah, he's a strip club guy. That was, Nick, that was seven years ago. Has this been publicly said? Yeah, Laura. What's her name?

Laura. Laura. Laura. You think that was her actual name? No. No, it was probably like Paige. How'd you fall in love with her? I wouldn't say love.

Lust. I was like years ago. I was like a regular. You know, I was a regular there. You get off your shift and you go and you spend all your time. Yeah, like Friday night. Like, you know. Did you offer her like a better life?

Yeah. Yeah. I think you all, everybody does. Everyone does. know. Did you offer her, like, a better life? Yeah. Yeah. I think you all, everybody does. Everyone does. Yeah. And she's like, what's this better life? He's like, I got a basement apartment in my mom's house. Like, I'm just going to Brazil.

Dancing on your make way more money than you. I will say, though, like, there is, I know guys that go to strip clubs and, like, just go there for a drink and a hangout. Like, they don't want anything sexual. Some of them have good buffets. There is people like that. I just don't think they'll ever stop making strip club guys. You guys might be right in terms of, like, the, it might decrease, but there will always be a market. Okay.

Me and Kyle might just be feminine. We might only hang out with feminine guys. Military towns, they're still hot. Ah, yeah. I mean, that will never die. Eleven in Miami will never die. Eleven is not even a strip club. That's just like heaven on earth. Yeah. It is.

Kyle, what age is good to go to a strip club? I've never been. Kyle, eleven is... Right. Go to a strip club? Yeah, like, okay, like if your son was like 18 and he's like, hey, Dad, I want to go to the strip club, would you let him go? Yes, I think 18... He's 18, I can't stop him. Yeah, right.

Also, I'm... We did this John Daly video yesterday where we smoked two packs of cigarettes in nine holes. That was like the Avengers Infinity Stone. Is that what it is? Yeah. The last stone I needed of things that my kids can look up and be like, but you did that. Oh, yeah.

So far. Yeah. Everything. Yeah, that cigarette. So you think I'm going to be like, yeah, no, son, you can't go to a strip club. Hey, remember that episode on May 28th when you called Nick and KB chicks? Yeah. For not liking your receipt?

Yeah, you've done half. Whammy. There's video proof of every vice. Oh, potty training. Everything, dude. You just put a file together for them, save their time. Yeah, I'm just going to be like, I'm going to have to just sit my kids down one day and be like, look, I said a lot of things online.

Just try not to be a shithead. You can do everything I did. Just don't be a shithead. That'll be my whole speech get some test strips you ever been to a strip club with a really nice bathroom i don't think so because some strip clubs have horrible bathrooms well some have very nice bathrooms i mean it's kind of hard to predict like a spectrum you know anything about that Shay not necessarily I don't think I've ever

I did go to a strip club in Tampa once that had a steakhouse inside of it that is going to have a very nice bathroom marble, sinks, everything it was like a glass enclosed room that sat above the pole was your bachelor party at a strip club? I never had a bachelor party

what? that's surprising to me. Yeah. You want us to throw you one? Sure. All right. Let's sell it and we'll do it. Next case race is your bachelor party.

Yeah. Che, was your bachelor party at a strip club? We went to a strip club. My bachelor party was a weekend away. Dominican Republic. Whoa. Wait, wait. Make fun of me for not having one.

No. No, no, do it. That's like lame and bitchy. Yeah, it was because my wife's mom had ALS, so we had to hurry. You should have just poured some water on yourself. She's dead now. Ice water and then called it a day.

That's true. But how many have you attended? A million. Also, my life is a bachelor party, so it's kind of hard to be like, oh, I want to go to an SEC football game. You should be like, but what about those other SEC football games you're going to? Yeah. No, I've been to a lot.

I want mine to be a renaissance fair. That's the horniest place in the world. What? Renaissance fairs? Really? Oh, my God. that's the horniest place in the world what renaissance fairs really oh my god i'm telling you it's horny nerdy adults cosplaying and they're all banging each other at the campground at the end of the night it's go to one i went to one in texas and i was like woods does he he brings the

freak oh yeah he brings the freak yeah guess what Consent is his Big Gets him real horny He asks every thrust I'm not even He tweeted about how You know the horny aura of the ROTC kids Or the band kids

That's like the aura but grown up And it's at the renaissance fair And it's I can't recommend it enough it's like theater kids i just want to go drink out of a horn wear chain mail a lot of boobs like cleavage is the that's very pushed up yep can you go to tim wood's twitter he had the best i loved it and oh it was so about how it made me horn it makes him hornier yeah oh by the way june 5th, are you in?

Did anyone ask you? We're doing Dungeons & Dragons. No, but I'll do it. Okay, that morning. Love it. Okay. Sorry, I knew no one asked you. Where is that?

I've become a calendar guy. You have? I need one. Yeah, that's a good idea. You got one, bud. Where's his tweets? Yeah, that's a good idea. You got one, bud. Where's his tweets? Yeah, I do. Just search his tweets

for consent, I guess, right? At the top? Yeah. Guy's a freak. He's a consent freak. Are you talking about like sexual consent? Yeah. Oh, here it is. I'll send it to TJ. He's a big rules guy.

There it is send it to DJ he's a big rules guy there it is alright so it's the original trees we don't talk about it but explicitly asking for consent can ruin a vibe ruin a vibe this dude's a dumbass you ever heard of raspy may I in your ear it's divine V-I-N-E and then Tim Wood said asking for consent when you already know you have it

is literally the best. Like, there's no better thing. I love it. That's kind of like... Yes. D-I-N-E. 9-0-8. 9-0-8?

That's not horny hours. No, Kyle. Can I hear your raspy may I? I don't know. That would work. That's D-I-N-I-N-E. Yeah, you whisper in the air, may I? I don't know.

I don't know. No, that's an out of breath. May I? May I? May I? May I? Renaissance Fair really is a horny place? People say that.

Oh, my God. I'm not kidding. The only one I went to, I killed 100 people so well you were bloodlusted but there was probably almost got arrested ladies were probably lusting after you for doing that got spoken to by the police in real life about all my did you break character uh i think we were just like what yeah i mean that was i like when Pat asks me, like, a chimney sweep. My eye. My eye. Sweet chimney. It's divine.

Woo, woo, woo. Oh, yeah, baby. I like as many forms of consent as possible. Oh, yeah. I want to be buried in consent. That's my fetish. Buried in forms. Yeah, just having a stack next to your bed of forms.

Imagine that's like a dominatrix thing It's like a guy just wants to Continuously ask for consent And say yes Over and over Until he comes Oh fuck I'm probably the biggest fan of consent Here?

You're a policy perv I feel like Love that You get off on that Che's a big consent guy I feel like he asks so many questions Yeah Consent?

Yeah You love consent Are you a big ask how you're doing while doing? You're like is this good? No, no, no No But I mean An agreement is made and we move forward You're like, is this good? No, no, no. No. But, I mean, an agreement is made, and we move forward.

You never want to do that because if it's not, what's the correction? There is none. Yeah, what can I do better? Yeah, what can I do to grow? You don't want the answers to that question. Have you considered being bigger? Yeah. Does this feel good? Oh, it doesn't?

Okay. I got nothing else. else well if you're trying out new stuff you can that's right i've chay you're definitely that you ask yeah yeah but is your partner transparent with you yeah you sure like will she say i think so no no she'll never say that i don't think no i've never been sure in my life. You know me, too. I don't think I have been sure. No. You gotta be sure.

I think. I've never, like... I've never been amped up afterwards. I've never been like, I wish that was filmed so I could review the tape. You've never been like, damn, that was good. No. No. Yeah.

I've done a lot. Not with Pat. Okay. I was about to say I've done a lot of faking in my day. Yeah. And I'm too polite. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. That's a thing, huh?

Oh, big time. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I don't think I want to know. No, they're faking it. That was a thing, huh? Oh, big time. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I want to know. No, they're faking it. They're faking it. Yeah. 100%? Oh, big time. Yeah.

Do girls get the post-clarity? Would you rather them not fake it? No. I just want to take a nap. You want a world where there's faking it, right? You don't want to live in a world where there's no faking it. I would love to know'm for saying I don't like the term faking I'm fine with exaggerating yeah yeah but it's faking but imagine a world where there was no fake no faking so that would be wrong no no faking that

actually might be hell yeah they send you to hell and they're like, there's a thousand virgins, but no faking. It's just like Earth, but they don't fake. You're like, shit. No. What do you mean they don't fake? Maybe that's our new book. No faking is allowed. No faking.

Oh, it's the world. I think that's going to be the future with like AI sex dolls. You know, you'll be able to get input them so they give you real factual feedback. Yeah, I think they're good. And if they get the hygiene of it right, like those punching things in bars, I think you could have a best fuck machine.

You give it one thrust. Oh yeah. Yeah, taller. Yeah, you'd have the high score. Dave did that at the AVNs. He did the fingering. He fingered faster than anyone's ever fingered. Is there a video of that?

Yeah. I guess there is. He went fucking to town on that pussy. That's crazy. Good for him. Yeah, good for him. That was great work. You're the best rubber in the office.

You've said that many a time. Are you? Yeah. I didn't know that about you. I'm tired. You rub with the best of them? I can't say. I don't know. He's a modest rubber, but trust me.

Give him a rub. Rub me. Alright. No. Come on. Off camera. No, just rub me. I want to see Oh that's pretty good Yeah it's rhythmic Pretty good

That's pretty good You're a pretty good rubber Thank you Being known as the best rubber It's underrated skin You wanna see my boy over there? He'll fucking rub you proper Listen babe Nobody's ever fucking rub you proper Listen babe

Nobody's ever gonna rub you better than I do You wanna be rubbed I got just the guy for it He'll rub you up Do you guys have the bracket tomorrow We have it today I have it now What time

2.15 Alright let's spin the wheel then It's been a great yak No. What time? Oh. No, 2.15. All right, let's spin the wheel then. It's been a great yak. It's a nice Monday yak. Here we go. Tuesday. Oh, my God. I can't even look.

I can't look. Is it loud on YouTube? Oh, God. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Okay, you're good. oh my god the finger king i mean hey ladies i just fucking own that i mean dave looks like the horniest guy in the world yeah yeah that's a different person It's crazy what money can do.

Old school tape. He said that to Alex Cooper when she asked, she's like, when did you get hot? He's like, when I got money. Fine. How does that happen, though? Because he didn't get any facial work done or anything. I think you just get the right haircuts. Yeah.

Sun more. You wear nice clothes. Nice clothes can go a long way. Yeah? Yeah. If it fits you well If you get nice clothes I feel like it just changes everything I've thought about that many times I just don't think it would work

On the majority of us Every time I try It's nice but it's not me I think I could switch Like oh she's cool But I don't think I'll ever be a smoke show. For sure. Yeah, no. Your intuition is correct on that one.

That's true. It's fighty sense. Yeah, I've accepted it. It's a good skill in itself. I'm starting to get a feeling that I'm never going to be a smoker. I'm starting to think about that. Shut up, Kate. Your spine is made of Jenga blocks.

Kate, you want us to just start calling you hot? Yeah. That's what you're doing. We'll sexually harass you if you want us to. Reel it in. That picture of you with the Orioles is so funny. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we didn't even say shut up.

Oh, I love those guys. Orioles. What a team. Those are our best friends in the whole world. And they love us. Che, yeah. Oh, we didn't even say shout out to those guys. What a team. Those are our best friends in the whole world. And they love us. Che, have you texted Gunner? Yeah, what's Gunner up to? That night I did. Text him right now saying we miss you on the app.

We're just talking about you. Fuck. I have Colton Couser's number now. Oh, good. I've told him, I was like, we're going to make Che text Gunner all the time. He's like, perfect. Che, can you text Gunner just a selfie of you? I just feel like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a selfie of you, thumbs down,

frowning, say that Monday feeling. Yeah. That Monday on a Tuesday. Oh, yeah. That Monday on a Tuesday. Dot, dot, dot, on a Tuesday. Question mark, exclamation point. Alright, do it. Do it, Che. We wanna see it. Monday on a Tuesday feeling. Thumbs down.

So I'm putting the thumbs down in the picture? Thumbs down, frowny. And then just say, when you get that Monday feeling dot dot dot on a Tuesday question mark exclamation point. Alright, you got this, Che. What did you think was going to happen

when we got his number? I kind of sent him a note like, hey, have a great season. I want to clear, by the way, you are not allowed to text Gunnar Henderson without our approval. That's fine. The only times I've texted him is when you guys ask. He's like a phenomenal player. I looked him up. He is so good.

And the other dudes had like highlights Great games Robbed a home run They all hit a home run Hit a home run There it is Yeah they love us Yeah totally They really do

Alright so sorry What am I saying in this text? I took a picture of myself with a thumbs down yeah what you said yeah what was it that Monday feeling dot dot dot on a Tuesday

can he add LMAO at the end I think he's being serious oh he's being serious okay oh god on a Tuesday question mark He's being serious. Oh, he's being serious. Okay, okay. Oh, God. On a Tuesday question mark? Question mark, exclamation point. Speaking of question marks.

Yeah, no, I'm never going to be hot. The ship has sailed. That's all posture, though. What were you saying to him right there? I was telling him about my back. I was telling him about my osteoporosis. That was such a cool moment, though, that we were the sick kid with Babe Ruth. Yes. It was a home run.

And then Colton was yelling the yak after. Played again, TJ? And they hit dingers all weekend. Oh, yeah. Jordan Westberg hit one. Colton Kouser hit one. He also robbed the home run. Yeah, it was sick.

To end the game. Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I got to wait got we got jerry and i are going to belmont in two weeks so i gotta see how that goes but i'm thinking if it goes well i'm gonna put a big future on the orioles that we all share in very fun that would be very fun it would mean a lot it'd be a fun ride if we're just rooting them on hard you could tell though that they like legit had a like solid bond between i don't know i got a good feeling from them yeah what helped a lot was none of them embarrassed themselves on the gauntlet yeah that yeah that ruins it yeah they're the best oh there it is mond Monday feeling on a Tuesday.

Yes. Yes. G-H. Oh, he's just G. He's just G. Oh, Che. We're going to torture him. G.Henderson. We're going to torture him.

If he doesn't answer, you have to exaggerate that message later. Yeah. Yeah. Exclamation. Yeah. Feel me, G g what does that mean you hit the exclamation on your own message oh to be like did you see this yeah yeah the orioles are our team now i mean no respond if he doesn't answer bumping this with the odds to win the world series what are they ranked right now? Well, you can wait. I was thinking about doing like, let's see.

I was thinking about doing like 10 grand and then just being like, I get half and everyone else gets half. That would be fun. I'll sign off on that. Yeah, I'll take that. They have the fourth best record in the MLB. Fantastic. They are 950 to 1.

So if I did 10 grand and then we, yeah, I mean, it would be a fucking awesome stream them. We love the Orioles. We love our guys. They were fucking as cool as could be. Great group of dudes.

Baltimore's easy. Ravens. I wish they were coming back to Chicago this year. They're not. That's my only bummer coming back to Chicago this year. They're not? That's my only bummer. Yeah, they're not playing the Cubs. Oh, damn. I know.

I miss them. We should go see them. Why don't they play the Cubs? You don't play everyone. You should play everyone. Well, they do play the Cubs, but in Baltimore. Ah, okay. Tommy can't make it.

Okay, so Frankie. I'll tell Frankie. Okay, spin the wheel. I got a babysitter for Friday I'm excited for Pup Punk Oh yeah Pup Punk go buy tickets Joe's on weed is one of my favorite places I'm on a bender I max out at three beers

But still on a bender Nice Alright we'll see everyone nice all right we'll see everyone tomorrow tonight Ronan Sass oh yeah we'll see everyone tonight 8 o'clock central 8 o'clock central Jerry we have our clue

live action clue they're about to just put all the stuff down on the court please tune in It's going to be awesome It's all of us Titus, Che TJ are you coming? No I have softball

Oh Unless it rains So softball ahead of I wasn't invited I'm inviting you, you come TJ You're going to play a game ahead of I wasn't invited. Your best friends. I'm inviting you. You come, TJ. You're going to play a game instead of hanging with your best friends

in the world. While we play a game? You're going to play a game instead of watching other people play a game? The fuck? What the hell, TJ? Yeah, what the fuck?

Oh, here come the boys. They're getting ready. They're in the zone. They're in the zone. They're locked in, Jerry. How's the new Jerry After Dark? Good. We had a the zone. They're locked in, Jerry. How's the new Jerry After Dark? Good.

We had a big meeting. Yep, it's going good. I put them on a reorganization. Yeah, we're doing good. We got some good stuff planned. I have trips lined up next week, so we won't have one, so we're skipping one. Then we get back to business. We have the next six or seven.

Love it. You have a good crew around you. Yeah, we got solid crew. Ryan, best we're skipping one. Then we get back to business. We have the next six or seven. Loved it. You have a good crew around you. Yeah, we got solid crew. Ryan, best vibes in the office. Far. White boy Rick is very good at social. Yeah, he's the best tweeter. Yeah, he's great. Even on his own Twitter, he's really good. We went viral this weekend. Yeah, with the sunburn.

Yeah, that was funny. Alright, we'll see everyone tomorrow. Oh, wait. Oh! Oh, yeah! this weekend yeah with the sunburn yeah that was funny uh all right we'll see everyone tomorrow oh wait oh yeah these guys are the best oh yeah the orioles that's the team that's great oh man jay you're fucking just chat buddies with Gunnar Henderson. That rules. All right, tomorrow we'll figure out what else you're going to text him. Terrible feeling. Terrible feeling. All right, see you tomorrow.

That's a quick text back. Yeah. It's the act. It's the act. Get your straws, yeah. Stylist, yeah. For a while. It's the act. It's your straws, yeah The style of tape for a while It's the act

It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop Or do a Yankee swap It's the act It's the act It's the act Bye guys.

Have a great week. Roofball Thursday is going to rock. Go watch Jerry After Dark tonight. And happy birthday, Ryan Mendoza. All right, see you tomorrow. Bye.