The Yak - The Official Channel Launch of YAK 8...The Ocho | The Yak 3-7-23

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

*redacted*You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello. I don't know why I did that. Clap it up. Clap it up. Clap it up. Yeah. Yeah.

I started that. Packed house. Rona's out today. Titus is in. Zah's back. Hey, Zah. What are you waving, TJ? What the fuck are you waving about?

I was a presenting sponsor now. Damn. I didn't know that. Brought to you by Roback. He was just waving in my face. We love Roback. I love Roback. Best fit. I got my Robackebuck. Best fit. That's why we're clapping. I got my Roebuck on today.

Roebuck. Roebuck. Yeah. Do the back. I'm reading it. Okay. The quality, the comfort, the material, everything is top notch. We're fresh off a restock of the most comfortable performance joggers on the planet.

I don't see the joggers in here today, but we wear the joggers a lot. I wear them every day. The joggers are very, very, very, very comfortable. You're wearing the – I'm wearing the quarter zip right now. Yeah. Roback Performance hoodies are quite possibly the softest hoodies we own. Max.

I believe I see one on – okay, no. They're paired with the Performance joggers. We don't think it's possible to have a more comfortable combo. Roback's subtle dog logo and two-stripe bridge keeps popping up everywhere we go. We always make sure to give a little nod when we see somebody rocking Roback because we know they get it. Yeah. Get it.

That guy, he just gets it. Nick, are you in a dark phase right now? I'm going through it, man. Yeah. We're in black socks? I haven't been sleeping well. I've been dizzy for two months. I've been coughing.

They were checking my apartment for mold today. Wait, seriously? Yeah. Use code YAK on Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week. That's spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. That's 20% off all performance hoodies, joggers, and polos with code YAK. Get ready for spring with Roback. You haven't been sleeping.

Isn't that Kyle's thing? I guess. I always for spring with Roback. You haven't been sleeping. Isn't that Kyle's thing? I guess. I always just kind of copy Kyle. Yeah. It's got bad notes. I've been sleeping well. Yeah. So you're going to copy that?

Wait, you really have mold? We're checking it, yeah. We have a stinky water tank. Your voice a little bad? It sounds sick, yeah. You sound like shit, dude. Every time I like, you know, we travel a lot. And when I'm gone, I feel fine.

And when I get home and I sleep in bed for a few nights. Are you allergic to your apartment? Allergic to my apartment. Oh. Damn. It's got to be my fucking wife and her cat. That bitch. Had to have it.

When I was a little kid, I sneezed like four times because I was just regularly sick while I was reading. And I tried to tell my parents I was allergic to reading. I almost said it works every time. It never has. It didn't work. Yeah, the fucking teachers would always lick their fucking fingers and turn the pages. Except some teachers had the circle of goop.

Right? Did they? They also had a little rubber thing sometimes. Yeah. Alright, so this might be like inner misogyny that I'm just like letting it out right now. Welcome back, Kate. Thank you. When a woman does the licking of the page, like a librarian or someone at the DMV, I'm like, ew.

When a man does it, I'm like, power move. Power move. Unless it's a hot librarian. Yeah. Like a Wall Street Journal, he's like, eh. Oh, yeah. I'm the total opposite. Yeah. It's fucking disgusting yeah i'm the total opposite yeah

fucking disgusting it's the opposite of a power move too you're needing help to turn oh no no no but when a man does it it's like oh he's got deals he's doing my uh drafting teacher in high school mr clark was missing half of his finger and it was real like calloused and when he caught you on your phone he'd go up behind you and just tap you on the back of the head with it oh i need to see what both of these hypothetical people look like. Like if it's a hot librarian, like you said. No, it's not. Versus like, yeah, like a...

It's like a homely... It's a homely librarian and then it's like... Some big fat dude just like... A Charles Schwab commercial. The white haired guy sitting in his... Hot guy. Yeah, he's sitting in his... Yeah, yeah. The white haired guy sitting in his Hot guy He's sitting in his

Sun drenched Kitchen Nice glass of orange juice So much natural water Look at my fucking deals Hold on a second Did I get two pages here That's gross

Kate makes it gross. Nope, just one. Just one. I'm picturing a librarian with a little updo. She's got the glasses on the tip of her nose. Oh, that's a hot librarian. She gives just a lick of the index finger. I don't think that person exists. Hot librarians.

Oh, hot librarians. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Oh, I have a hot librarian in my town, yeah. In U-Porn. Yeah. Oh, I have a hot librarian. In my town, yeah. Yeah. In U-Porn. Yeah. Those places.

You've been on the internet, Brandon? Yeah. Browsers, U-Porn. Hot librarians exist. I hate sexual homie Dom as a librarian. U-Porn.com? Never heard of it. It's a free porn site.

DJ, pull up some U-Porn.com. You've never gone to U-Jizz? No. Everybody U-Jizz? What the hell is U-Jizz? You were a one-site kind of kid. com you never go to you jizz you know everybody you just the hell is you jizz you're also a porno i know porn hub xxx videos xx nx videos what's that yeah but none of those are any of those explicitly telling you like you're gonna jizz no right just us oh wrong jizz is a good one hey you do you remember your first time looking up porn like when you were a kid?

Yes, freeones.com. I just looked up sex boobs. I just Googled boobs and hit enter. Mine was from E-Bombs World. It was like a brick breaker game and you had to like break the bricks

and see the naked one. Oh, I remember that. Freeones.com was like, it was the lamest porn ever because it was just pictures of like, it was like Playboy shoot pictures online. Like no videos. Like you'd be like, it was like Playboy shoot pictures online.

Like no videos. Like you'd be like, oh, this porn actress. Instead of looking at porn, you just click on it and it's like a picture of her tip. I remember the era of the internet where the picture would load from the top and it would slowly start crawling and you didn't know if the woman

was going to be topless or not. Yeah. It was such a thrill of like, oh, oh, oh. And we talked about it a few weeks ago, but just the idea of having a computer for the whole family and everyone's just doing porn, watching porn on it, like separately from everyone else, just ugh. Well, pop-ups were wild back in the day.

If you looked at something, shit would literally just pop up on your screen. I think that's how I got. You jerked off to a pop-up. Something like that. Well, I was just curiosity clicking stuff and then my parents were like. Oh, would you watch porn, Keith?

Yeah, your girl. Let me tell you, ladies are horny as hell. No, they're not. Oh. That's true. That's my fucking wife. That's true.

That's my new thing I'm doing. Yeah, what is this bit? What are you doing right now? Dude, I don't know. People are definitely going to be like, Nick's married? I'm trying to test some shit out. I got a wife with a cat, I guess.

Kyle, we didn't talk about your litter box picture. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It takes up 90% of your apartment. Yeah. So why did you buy it? I thought it would be smaller. I bought it to expedite the process of me mentally deciding to buy a cat.

Oh, that's actually smart. That's like getting a trailer before you get the boat. Right. Like, well, I got a trailer. We've got to put something on it. Might as well get the boat. I have this big-ass space helmet in my... It's humongous.

It's humongous. It looks like the chair Yoda sits in. It's huge. It takes up a lot of... A good percentage of help. And the best part is, like, the future cat that you own, what's its name again? Probably Piper again. Yeah, Piper, right.

You can't name it as your old cat. I have to. You can't do that. Yeah, no, I just have to. Piper's gonna be scared to death of that thing. Oh, we came up with a name for it. No, you guys all came up with the op. Oh, Piper. Orange cat, right? Sure, but I didn't agree on him. I thought you agreed on one like Cameron or something. Some of those are, no, not Cameron.

Some of them are fine, but not Piper. That cat is going to be scared. There's no way Piper's going into that. We have the full photo of this, because there's a few things I noticed. Yeah, there is some weird things in the background. Yeah? Yeah.

A couple hidden gems in there. I moved. I made sure to hide and move some of the things. I'd love to know what you moved, because there's some things in the back that feel like would have been better if they were moved. I just have a question about one of them. Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.

I think it was a story. Stoolie Clubhouse tweeted the screenshot. They get everything. Yeah. Okay. The fucking head. The head from the SoCo shoot. So yeah, I'm not going to discard that.

So long to put on. It was so costly. You've been using your Peloton? That's not even a Peloton. What is it? Everyone thinks it is. That's why I love posting it. What is it?

It's just a regular manual. A Fisher-Price bike? Stationary bike, yeah. But it's not the discarded head. There's no technology to it. It's the mantle price bike. Stationary bike, yeah. But it's not the... It's not the... Smooth, for sure. There's no technology to it. It's the mantle of that photo. Yeah, the mantle. Photo of yourself.

Did you make your arms bigger? Is that from Yak Basketball? That's from Yak Basketball. You have a photo of yourself next to... Yeah. Breeze next to vitamins. Yeah, it's normal. That picture that's hanging, that's drooping so you can't see it,

is another picture of that same shot. That was the most basketball shot of me that's ever been taken, so I put it up. Fair enough. You would dominate yak basketball. I've seen you guys play basketball. Yeah, well, yak basketball specifically is very fun. What's the difference?

You just, there's, you have to, everyone score and then you're off the floor, but you can't shoot at the same rim twice. So it's a full court, like one-on-one, on one-on-one-on-one. It's designed so that when Pete, when anyone watches it, they're like, these guys don't know how to, the rules of basketball. Yeah. Jelly Walker, when we did our Barstool Invitational, was like, I saw you guys. Like, what was that?

Because you don't have to dribble. And fouls are allowed. So it's just like second grade recess is what it sounds like. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. And it's so exhausting that everyone slowly starts to give up. Show the clip of Nadeau. Nadeau is really the peak of Yak.

He changed the game for us. Oh, Nadeau like bullying the girls. I think Clemmer is the peak of Yak basketball. Where he just decided I'm going to run as fast as I can. Yeah, Sonic the Hedgehog. Have any alternative basketball? I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to uh this yeah

just look at him that's i mean that's breakaway speed boom he's off he was so excited and the dude just shoving girls um have any like alternative basketball leagues um perme the culture, do you think? Like, slam ball got close, and then a guy snapped his leg in half. Like, Ice Cube's deal where he was doing three-on-three with all the— I can't even get into that. The big three, yeah. It's still going every summer, and it has an audience. Do you think yak basketball could be the answer?

Because it feels like every so often someone's trying to— Yeah, the closest we got was probably in one in one yeah yeah it's slam ball and because somebody snapped his leg i always wondered why injuries did thought i thought like someone got his leg caught in the trampoline i don't know maybe we can look that up i had to get hurt i thought like someone got his leg caught in the trampoline just like snapped it like kevin wearing it yeah um and then that was the end of that. We interviewed the slam ball creator. I can't remember what he said. Yeah, look.

Look at Malone. Going in the post. No fouls. He was like, how did that not go in? That guy, by the way, that guy has a college basketball show here at Barstool. I learned that. Yes. So, yeah, be sure to check that out.

I think everybody does, though. Yeah. Nadu was the first person to travel in YAC basketball. No one had ever done it. He was basically like the slam dunk. Yeah. And all of a sudden he just started running down the court, not dribbling. It wasn't in the rules. It was right. It was a forward

pass of YAC basketball. John Rich. Look at John Rich go He's looking healthy there It's all downhill from here Yeah Really is a sight to behold Yes, slam ball and one

And one It's good to know Every time we do Rough and Rowdy And one The shoe brand Is still alive in West Virginia Oh yeah At least half of the fighters are wearing

and one basketball shoes. Yeah, look at this. We made these adults. We used this as a metric for these adults to try out for a job. Yeah. And we did a good job. Yeah.

Everyone who's been hired has been pretty successful. All seven of them. Yeah. It really shows how big of pussies we are yeah we picked seven of the 12 contestants which seven will it be yeah yeah it probably would have been a lot uh five by the end of this week only most of you will work here yeah yak idol was a i remember too like too, like, KB, I remember you were taking it very seriously, which was

good, but I was also, like, not put off, but being like, what is KB doing? He's taking it seriously. Which is good. Again, a good. I don't regret it. No, you shouldn't regret it, because we're giving someone a job. Right. It was a big implication. We got out of our comfort

zone, Yak Idol week. That was not our plan. Are we it was we're giving someone a job right it was a big we got out of our comfort zone yak idol week that was not our are we uh we're doing that again i don't think so i hope not i think we i think everyone's like oh yeah they hired too many people couldn't make a decision we didn't yeah that's true dave kind of came behind and hired that's true poor luke oh man yeah he's the only one. He came in fourth? I think he came in fourth in the fifth and sixth place

people got jobs. Came in seventh? Oh, he came in third? Yeah. Oh, no. That was the happiest. Bronze medal. Bronze medal's the best.

Bronze medal's the best. Affirmed it yet again. So, Zah. Yeah. Zah, you... You fucking monster. You have something to say. Yeah. Go ahead. Welcome back, Zah. Yeah. Zah, you. You fucking monster. You have something to say. Yeah.

Go ahead. Welcome back, Zah. Thank you. I would like to redact my apology. Oh, what? It's already been accepted by Ben Mintz. I redact my apology to Ben Mintz. Really?

Really? Why? Because I thought about it. Again. So I redact my apology. So we have to let Mincy know. You originally said something, you thought about it, and then you apologized for it. But now you've thought about the apology and have gone back to the original.

Yeah. Okay, good. I like that. I like the original better anyway. Did you delete the video of you apologizing? No. Can you do a video responding? Just be like, I take it back.

Apologize for the apology. Yeah. Never, never tweet when you're too sober. Or too drunk, yeah. You get two in your own head and you start saying bullshit. Yeah, make an apology video saying, I was too sober. I apologize. I shouldn't have done that.

Yeah. Keep this train going. So TJ, call Mincy and Zai. I want you to redact it. And Mincy has to let go have done that. Yeah. Keep this train going. So TJ, call Mincy and Zai wants you to redact it. And Mincy has to let go of the apology. Yeah. To give it back. Yeah, he does.

I don't think he will. He better be running right now. Let him know you haven't made mistakes like him. This mold is killing me. What the fuck, dude? I'm so afraid. You weren't like this yesterday. I was.

I left right after the act. To go back to your moldy apartment? I didn't know that's what it was, but I guess there's been some complaints and they're checking it. Oh, other people have complained? Yeah, if they're checking it, they know there's mold. Is it black mold? Probably. It's the one that will kill you.

Well, he can't use his apartment water either, remember? Yeah, I can't use it. Why? He's got the stinky street water and they can't water my apartment my water smells bad in my building looks nice no it is nice my place is nice but uh yeah i can't i can't i've been on a boil order for six months i've just given up i've been showering shut up jesus they said it was gonna be three months and then they were just like we need to rally together And hurry this up And it's been six months And you're still paying full rent

Has there not been someone who's been the chief complainer You need one of those guys to step up That's not me my pussy ass No no listen I would be the same as you I'm dying If something goes wrong in my apartment I don't say shit But you need someone to be like Spearheading like we're going to sue

Is there a guy like that I don't know probably but you need someone to be like spearheading like we're going to sue. Is there a guy like that? I don't know. Probably. The guy next to me, I have really thin walls. He sneezes real loud. And I bet you he'd be the guy. Yeah.

Because those guys are the worst, but they do come in handy when. Squeaky wheels. Everyone here is, I think, pretty much the same temperament where we just wouldn't say anything. Brandon would bitch. Brandon would bitch? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got a text.

I woke up to a text from Owen this morning saying, don't pay rent for April or March. Does he figure that shit out? Yeah, I guess he's just like, we're not paying. I would. So I'm such a pussy because it's a co-op and it's just one guy and he's been really cool. And he was like, I'm not raising your rent. You're still paying a COVID price. And so I'm afraid to complain.

They use that against you because now they're like, we don't have to do anything because you're just dying. My last place, the dishwasher broke, and I said, hey, could you all fix the dishwasher? They said, no, that's kind of a luxury. I said, okay. I bought a new dishwasher, put it in, used it while I was there, and then took it with me when we left.

That was smart. I just threw the dishwasher away. I just wasn't leaving it for them. Are you going to run for HOA president when you move to Chicago? Yes. I hope so. Although I hope to be far enough out I'm not going to be in an HOA. You need power. I looked at a house yesterday that's right on a river and I'm in love.

It might be two hours outside of Chicago. Okay. It's a long way outside of Chicago. But it's going to be hard not to... What town is it? I can't say that. What features does it have? Is it the kind of. What town is it? I can't say that. What features does it have? Is it the kind of river you can tube on?

Have a water slide? Fucking Yak fans. Last time I even mentioned that. Be cool, guys. Be cool. Yeah. They're not going to be cool. They respect your privacy.

It's like the dude, the Vanderpump. Someone right now is looking. They're like, okay, there's only six houses on the river right now. They're two hours away from Chicago. Based off his last one is priceless. Based off of what Brandon's raise was mid-year. The Vanderpump guy released a statement to the internet and was like, hey, you can come after me,

but just don't come after my restaurant. You went in front of the internet and said, please be nice? It doesn't work. No. I went on and yelped at a bad review just because of that, out of principle. You have to. I don't even know what side I'm on.

All right, so, Brandon, you're going to live. I'm going to live. In Iowa. I'm going to live a long way out. I know that. Two hours away from Chicago. I might live in Indiana. I'm going to live.

Under taxes. People were telling me Indiana for the taxes. There are a lot of people who commute from Indiana. I don't know where it is. It's like 20 minutes to the border. We'll move to Chicago, but Team Indiana is vocal. Yeah. And they will hit you up on Twitter.

Make sure you move to Indiana. Yeah. Let's go. Become a Hoosier, Brandon. I don't know if I can become a Hoosier. It's better high school basketball. Gary. That has to count.

You think that's important? You would love Gary. How would that not be important? The Jackson 5. Do you think Indiana is better at basketball than Illinois in high school? Absolutely. No question about that. Absolutely.

Indiana believes it's number one. I bet you the top big school teams would win. Absolutely. Five of the top teams would win. Are you serious? We don't need to do this. We'll do this later. We'll do this later.

But come on. I mean, Indiana, it is a basketball state. Yeah. No Chicago teams wouldn't win state in Indiana? I mean, like some years, yeah. But like overall, when you're talking – With Derrick Rose? If you took the top like 20 people that have ever played Indiana high school

basketball versus the top 20 that have ever come out of Illinois. Oh, man. You don't understand who came first. Oscar Robertson, Larry Bird. I'm not ringing a bell. Okay. All right. Who's Oscar Robertson?

We'll do this later. We'll do this later. I don't want to. Who would be Chicago? Derrick Rose. Isaiah Thomas. Devin Garnett. Anthony Davis.

Derrick Rose. Yeah. We'll do it later. We'll do a whole list. We'll do a whole list. We'll do a whole list. But yeah, you should move to... I used to work with a woman who commuted. It is like 25 minutes.

I don't know where I'm moving, but I did find a place. You found a... Why a river over like a lake? Needs to be... Just water. In case the apocalypse comes. He needs fresh water. Looking for water.

You should build an apocalypse bunker. I want one so bad. It was in a flood zone. What, really? Oh. If one person in the act has already been flooded, there's no chance I would get flooded. He's getting flooded again this summer. Bold prediction.

I feel it, too. Yeah, that's happening for sure. Steven's on vacation right now, and his vacation is just spotting random animals in Mexico and just getting them wrong every time. I love the heat. I think it's a lemur. He gets to take a vacation after going to the combine in Indy, which was his vacation. Yes, correct, correct, correct.

Double vacation for the boy. His data is bad on vacation, too. He used to not do vacation data. Oh, Mintz? Mintzy. Yes, sir. What's up, fellas? How we doing?

Good. We got Zal on the line. We have something Zal wants to get off his chest. Ben Mintz, I would like to redact my apology to you. You're redacting your apology? Okay, well, you didn't really owe me an apology personally anyway, I don't think.

But you accepted it. Okay. Yeah, I accepted it, but, I mean, he offered it, but let's hear more. What's going on here? Because you flip-flopped your sides too.

I flip-flopped my what? The sides. How so? You weren't on my side initially, then now you're on my side. So I redact my apology. I was not on your side initially. How was I not on your side initially? Did you see my reaction?

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Come on, Zah. I can't do it to him, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Is that posted? Come on, Zah. I can't do it to him. I can't. We had a very lovely phone call. I tried sticking and making fun

of the whole situation. I can't. Mincy was there for me. So you're not retracting your apology? No, I mean it's retracted. It's officially retracted. It's officially retracted.

Zah, you really didn't know. It was funny. People were going off on me yesterday on there officially retracted. You really didn't know. It was funny. People were going off on me yesterday on there. You really didn't know me like a person. Oh, he did. No, you speak. You're the king of the south. Yeah, but you could have.

John, I swear to fucking God. You could have not accepted his apology. Well, listen. I mean, like I said, I really firmly believe that but i've said this before man anytime people take ownership of stuff they did wrong and like you can tell there's genuine feeling with it like i'm always gonna accept it because we all make mistakes they didn't do anything wrong just whatever but whatever people do something they feel guilty about and then they like run and hide and all that kind of stuff then that's when you know don't don't do it uh mincy what's your fourth biggest regret mistake

oh man all right well i thought my three were pretty good yesterday there's got to be a fourth mistakes i mean i i i guess i don't know. There's a lot of them. Crap. Okay, fourth biggest mistake. I already said the health stuff. Lying to your mom.

Yeah, yeah, that was really bad. The mom thing is bad. You know, shoot, there's a lot with that. I feel like I've redeemed so much the last week. Any, like, bad ones, like a manslaughter or? Yeah, the Vandy Whistler. No, no, like, no, like, big manslaughter. I mean, I haven't had any, like, big manslaughter. What about small ones?

What about tiny little manslaughter? Like children. Yeah. Babies even. That's a one I'm playing. Babies even. That's a quarter man's slaughter. I noticed, Mitch, you didn't say the mistake of handing Andrew Stein your key card so he can come here and terrorize Barstool. No, no.

You know what? That is the high one of just getting him to do anything in that mess. It was definitely not my favorite for sure. But I don't know if that's a top four mistake. I mean, it was a mistake. God, I kind of think I covered it. I mean, just the health. I guess I got, you know, too out of control.

I said it yesterday, the health stuff. Like, I'm taking good care of myself. I guess I let alcohol kind of dominate my life too much when I'm younger. I don't know. Okay. All right, well, Mincy. I feel like I should have a good answer here. Yeah, Mincy, the apology's been redacted, so carry on with your life, how you see fit. I know.

Hey, I will say I am carrying on one thing. I'm on I-55 North on my way to see the national champions play for the first time this year. You should be running. At Provis, Southerns. Yeah, well, hey, I want to mention that, Big Cat. So right after we got off the phone yesterday, I did the, like, let's have the State of the Union run, where I just get out there and run outside, see how we do.

I went real, real hard. It was a humid day. It was like 3.30, 4 p.m., and I ran three miles in 32 minutes. There we go. Beautiful. No, you're sitting pretty. Okay. All right, Mincy, we're also going to maybe try to find a way.

Mincy, we're going to try to find a way to maybe have you do it on a track. So you can do the 5K. You can do the 10K for charity. You don't have to run hard on that. I think we want to watch you do the 10K under an hour on a track. We'll live stream it. Vibs has also volunteered to run in front of him. Oh, perfect.

Okay. All right. So we'll set that up, Mincy. Okay. Well, so now I have to run two. Okay. Hang on. Yeah, yeah.

So now it's two 10Ks. Well, you can use the hogs for the cause one as a primer. Okay. Okay. But, okay, how does this affect the the the this fundraising still the same it's for the hogs 10k or for the track 10k no no no no for the for the track 10k we'll even open up uh on the yak if anyone wants to donate while you're doing it we'll raise some money that way too hell yeah yeah, I love it.

Well, I got to say, I had Jeffrey to do, but he got a 500 pledge for me to do, and then I had another friend pledge 5,000 overnight if I go under 60. So we're already at 15,500 before I even started. If you get under 60. Yeah, okay. That's not real money yet. All right, Vince, we got to go because we got to go. All right. All right, see you. real money yet like i'm we all right mince we gotta go because i we gotta go all right see ya i because i was he's not gonna run under 60 so you know you're gonna give him the money we're

going no i'm not that's what i was gonna say i was oh i was almost about to up my pledge to 50k like this is there's nothing that i'm never gonna have to give this money so it's like i could be the hero you know i'm like scott's tots he's doing the classic mistake of celebrating before yeah he's even done it he's like damn i just raised 15 grand that's incredible i had to get off the phone because i was like very close to being like you know what mincey you run under 60 minutes 60 minutes a million bucks that was good because he's not going to so and then everyone, wow, they can't pledge a million dollars to Hogs for the Cause. 3 and 32 is off pace. It's very off pace.

And the second three is not going to be as easy as the first three. And the.2 on top of it. It was like 6.5 miles. 6.2. I don't know. Okay. Don't make me up my pledge. We don't need to call him.

Hogs to the Cause. I'm going to get the key to the city for Hogs to the Cause by donating $0. I'm still in the camp that he can do it. I think he can do it. I think he's going to be able to do it. As of today, he can't do it. But I think by April 8th, he will be able to do it. Unless he gets distracted.

Well, is Hogs to the Cause a two-day thing? It's like a three-day thing. Okay, on Friday night, will he be filling his belly full of pork? Oh, I don't know. But that one doesn't count now is what you're saying because the one that counts is the one you guys are going to do for the show. Yeah, yeah, right, right. So when does that –

That one has to be within two weeks of the other one. So he might run the Hogs for the cause one, learn a little something about himself. Yeah. TJ, I want to... Tweak his approach for the real one. Whatever we have to do to set it up, TJ, to get a track, a camera, maybe like a camera, two cameras so we can

see like the big view and then like maybe find like a high school football stadium and then we will just put Mincy running in the bottom of the yak one day. And we'll just watch him. It will be great. What if we did the yak from the track? Oh, yeah.

He could fly up here. Oh, I forgot that he doesn't live here. Yeah, no, but he could fly. It would be easier for him to fly up here than all of us to fly to New Orleans. But, yeah. Yeah, let's do that. Get a treadmill and throw it in the corner and have him just run it.

We should do that track that we did the combine at because I think that's like a quarter mile so it will look like he's going fast. Passing us. I kind of prefer being here with him on the TV. Okay, we can do it either way. Why don't we just watch them live?

We could watch them. Just watch them live? Yeah, we could watch them. Just watching it, yeah. Just watch them live. Speed Demon. Yes. Speed Demon. Yeah, we can have graphics updating his pace and stuff. I'd like that.

It's perfect. By the way, Stephen Che is a real dickhead, because I don't know if you guys saw the prep sheet, but he's just doing vacation prep sheet. Do you prefer bathing suits with underwear liner or not? What is the best type of sandal? Like he's just sitting on the beach. Best type of sandal. Some food for thought.

Thanks, Jay. It's got to be Birkenstocks, right? I'll just stand her flip-flops. I don't like flip-flops. Good pair of Reefs. I feel like flip-flops you can really trip and fuck yourself up. You're talking thongs, thong flip-flops? Oh, yeah.

Those get yourself fucked up. Yeah, but they don't even feel like you're wearing shoes. Yeah, you're getting them for two bucks at the impulse buys of Old Navy. I've worn flip-flops in years. The gap between my big toe and the next toe is too big. I can fit my whole hand. What do you mean? I have an extra weird large gap between my big toe and my other toes.

I can pick up a baseball with them. Wait a second. You can fit your whole hand. I can fit my hand like this between my toes. Now you've got to show. I've got to see your foot. I'll show mine. You show yours.

Okay, show me yours. Y'all want to do big toes? No, I did a big toe day once on the yak. I mean, it's You show yours. Okay, show me yours. Y'all want to do big toes? No, I did a big toe day once on the I mean, it's not that big. Big toe. No, my gap's bigger than that. You got hairless feet. You don't? No, I got some hairy feet. You got hairy feet. You shave your shire.

I don't shave my feet. God damn. I guess that's not that big of a gap. I got baby boy feet. Also, your feet are kind of tan. Yeah, they are. That's in that big of a gap. A baby boy feet. Also, your feet are kind of tan. Yeah, they are. That's in the Bahamas, Nick. Come on. Come on, dude.

Why do they look so smooth, too? Are you lotioning those regularly? Nick, I think the mold is getting to your brain. I feel like I'm dying. You forgot I went to the Bahamas. Everything is off. Let's see them, Kate. Okay, I have no shame.

Let's see them, Kate. Okay, I have no shame. Let's see them, Kate. My feet are gross. I go hiking a lot, and whenever I get a pedicure, I'm like, leave the calluses. I need the bride. Oh, no. I have troll feet. Uh-oh. Okay.

Okay. Let me get my hand in there first. Let's get Jerry in here. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, God. What the fuck? So this is my next toe.

They're green for the Eagles loss. Oh, my God. Don't zoom in on them. Jesus Christ. Oh, no. What did you think we were going to do? But, yeah, that's. Oh, my God, Kate.

These are the next toes. You're a mutant. The Super Bowl was three weeks ago. Oh, my. I can, like, pick up. My move used to be in, like, going over to my friend's house who had hot tubs, and we'd all be in the hot tub, I would pinch the shit out of people. Oh, no.

That's gross. You deviant. Yeah. When you said your hand, I thought you meant this way. I was like, I guess that's something. No, I have those double joints where I can flip your hands. Whoa. Oh, my God.

Whoa. Kate. So flip-flops must just be, my God. Whoa. Kate. So flip-flops must just be a big no-no for you. They really are. Yeah, no, I'm a sides lady. You're an expert. Real loose. Got loose-ass feet.

Loosest feet out there. Brandon, why don't you do the high noon ad? I can talk about high noon. You're the ad guy now. Not the, I'm just the high noon ad guy. Oh, you're the ad guy. I'm going to pee. Why are you all leaving?

I have to pee. This woman's going to be the death of us. High noon hard seltzer, not made with malt like those other seltzers. It's actually made with vodka, and it is real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. High Noon Hard Seltzer is the perfect refreshing drink for a hot day. We've got some fresh ad copy here, boys. Not just the same old, same old. They have now big cans of peach and pineapple, 700 milliliters,

the tall daddies of big cans, peach and pineapple. My favorite flavor is the peach, but, of course, if you like the pineapple or the black cherry, the watermelon, the grapefruit, the lime, the peach, the mango, the passion fruit, or the lemon, I don't begrudge you. You can also pick up limited edition flavors like pear and cranberry. Pear is an elite flavor. It's in the tailgate pack, meant for college and pro football. I just made that up.

Maybe it's for all sports. I don't know. And kiwi and guava, which is in the pool pack, look for High Noon on Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store, or you can visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find where High Noon airs near you. I'm sure it's at your local bar or your local wherever you go. You can find High Noon. It is delicious.

High Noon Hard Seltzer. My favorite, oh, it's also only 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar. You forgot to say that. Well, Sass, I was actually, the ad was over. If you wanted to do the ad, you could have done the ad. I was reading along, and you missed out that key part. Some of us are healthy. 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar.

You said I was the ad guy. I've actually been on a pretty big High Noon kick. I'm off the beers permanently. You need to be the ad guy, and he's the ad guy. It sounds like he's killing it. Yeah, high noons, they don't mess up my stomach like other drinks do. I've been on a high noon kick. Love a high noon.

Am good, too. Where's the best place to drink a high noon, Brandon? You're cracking a high noon anywhere on this planet. Where are you? The back porch, 70 degrees, and you're watching like Purdue Northwestern. Is that your new house with the river right there? Yeah, where the river runs through. You're watching Purdue Northwestern?

Yeah. Ball? You're watching college football. Look at you. You are a Big Ten guy, huh? This is like Dwight Schrute's Hell Hotel. I know. You're watching Purdue Northwestern.

I just went random teams. It's the best game. Purdue Northwestern. I just went random teams. It's the best game. Purdue Northwestern. You're watching Vanderbilt, Kentucky. I mean, if he's going to live in Iowa, that fits the bill. I know. I live in Iowa, I would say. You're about to leave for your three-hour commute.

11 a.m. kick. I got my outdoor TV kicking. I got some high noon. It's 4 a.m. You're going to put one down, and then you got to realize, if I don't leave in the next three minutes, I'm not going to get to work until 10 a.m. I live six hours away from Chicago.

You're going to have to fly into work. The helicopter just got here. I got to go out and find a fucking place. When are y'all going to find a place? Because I got to find daycare and shit like that, too. They book up like six months out, so I'm starting to panic. We're going to find a place i got because i gotta find daycare and shit like that too and that's they book up like six months out so i'm starting to go find places renting an apartment you have house hunting week yeah we'll get our shit there's a good realtor in chicago i'm sure there's several yeah hit me up house hunting week with brandon would be fun

yeah just letting people know where you're living. Let's go find us a house. I would like to see Tommy tour the houses with you and give his opinion. Oh, he's very opinionated on the houses. That $22 million budget that he's got. $30, but yeah. $30. He's very opinionated on the houses. You going to send him to a public school there?

I don't know. It depends on, I don't know. I don't know. I haven't looked in the schools yet. Schools would be something I'd look at last. Are you worried about your – Good man. River first.

What are your requirements? River, water slide. River, trees. Doesn't even need to be school. Trees, yards, and what – Four hours outside of Chicago. And then we'll finish up with – But I want to live about 13 hours outside Chicago, somewhere around Mississippi.

By the way, do y'all have schools? Oh, okay. That's fine. Not a deal breaker. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. They'll learn from the river. Yeah.

Become river people. Are you worried about your kids being shitheads now that you're rich? I'm not. And secondly, no. What about that Bitcoin? Huh? Well, that's been spent. Oh. Paid for my dad's funeral give them everything they want and then they'll throw it out the fucking closed window buy it again no are you gonna give a lot of like when i was growing up

i never had this so i'm not giving it to you no no i do the opposite i do the i basically live a live a better childhood now through them. And also through you, because I feel like half the things in your basement are childhood things for you. You're saying the starting lineup collection that I have? And BGM. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, yeah. We have multiple video games. All the consoles.

We have multiple video games. None of them are modern consoles. No. Old consoles. No, you're just living your childhood. I spent an hour playing Tecmo Bowl in my basement the other day on a stand-up arcade machine. I love that. More guys should just do that.

Never had a ping pong table growing up. I have a ping pong table. The kids don't give a shit about it. And I just ping pong against the wall sometimes. Really? That's kind of sad. Four kids and none of them will play ping pong with Papa. Well, the daughter will play. But she beats me, so I don't play her as much.

That's great that you just won't have games that you lose. Correct. Yeah, why would you? We have a pool table now, too, but it's a kid's pool table. It's not big enough for me. Are you going to buy a full-size one? I think so. Wow.

I think so. Tommy really wants it, I'm sure. What about a dartboard? Dartboard is something I can't have in the house. Why? Too dangerous? Way think so. Wow. Tommy really wants it, I'm sure. What about a dartboard? Dartboard is something I can't have in the house. Why, too dangerous? Way too dangerous. One of the magnet ones. Boring. Those suck. Those suck ass. They suck. They always fall.

The real dartboard. The board, it falls. I would love to be sick at darts. That's like one thing that you should just teach every child. It's like one game, one bar game that they can be sick at darts. That's like one thing that you should just teach every child. It's like one game, one bar game that they can be sick at. Shuffle board, darts, pool.

That is a translatable skill. Every time I see a dart highlight, like the professionals, that pops up on your algorithm, you know, on Instagram or whatever, it makes no sense how electric it is. I get locked in on like like it's the dumbest thing ever but there's something about like those highlights that are yeah 60 of our guys went uh to the dart match last spring in madison square garden and it was like but if you try to describe that to somebody like you have to check out this video yeah the guy's like just he hit like 320

triple 20s in a row even if you explain that to me i'd be like i'm not clicking on that video but if i'm watching it i'm like holy shit i can't turn away electrics is there any sport that has like boring highlights who most boring highlights baseball can be pretty boring and this is gonna be questrian yeah tennis marathon running i would say oh yeah like here's the guy who set the world record at the Boston Marathon and then SportsCenter cuts to it. I've never been like, holy shit, that's sick. That's probably the sickest athletic accomplishment of our lifetime. The Kenyan guy's time in a marathon, I would say it might be the most impressive. No.

What's more impressive? The speed and pace at which this man won a marathon running four minute whatever miles. Anyone can run fast. Hokey Reese hit an inside the park home run and a home run in the same game. Kyle. That's a fact. That's two home runs. No errors.

What about Crew? Who hit two grand slams in the same inning? Tatis. Two grand slams in the same inning. Yeah. That's more impressive than a marathon. Anyone can run fast.

Well, not anyone can run fast for 26 miles. If you train hard enough. Do you think if you trained at the peak, you got everything out of your body. Body could not move that fast. I wonder what it would be if I trained. I don't even think my sprint would hit the pace. No.

Watching those guys run. People can't do it for 10 seconds. I did one without training, and for like two weeks afterwards, I felt like I got hit by a car. Yeah. Like I couldn't function. Marathons are terrible. Sounds like we're all making Kyle's point for him.

Yeah, we are. He went backwards on that. Those treadmills that are the pace where you can run on it of a marathon runner. Have you seen those? You're fine, Kyle. You might be right. Are we at the limits of what they can do? Is it possible? Usain Bolt,

his numbers, is it possible to go faster than that as a human being? Is it possible to run a marathon faster? Yes. Can you keep going lower? Yes. Yeah, why not if they did it? At some point there's got to be a limit, right?

Yeah, right. This is like a fastball. Like I hope someone someday throws like 110 miles an hour. So in 50 years, is somebody running a marathon an hour and a half? Wow. And would that have more to do with like shoe development and nutrition development than the runner themselves well that does happen for sprinting yeah like the sprint the bounciness of the track i don't think because these guys are coming from like developing countries where like diet lifestyle it doesn't

they're not getting advantages i feel like by the time they're at that level, maybe they have really good trainers and sponsors. I don't know. What this guy is doing, Koop Chang or whatever. I forget. Kipchoge. Is

distance running huge in all of Africa, Zah? No, just East Africa. Just East Africa? Yeah, it's altitude reasons. Actually, a bunch of, even like the American runners and all, a lot of the global big runners go train in that Ethiopia area and all that. That's crazy.

Because of the altitude. Yeah, the altitude. Sounds brutal. Why? Because it's higher altitude? Yeah. They go back to the lower altitude. How many followers do you think Kipchoge has on Instagram?

I'm going to go with 23,000. I'm going to go with 2.1 million. I'm going to go 1.4. Oh, look at that. Kyle, are you a Kipchoge guy? Is he one of the people that follows him? I'm not. Are you a Kipchoge guy? No, I don't

even like the guy. What about him? You think there's anybody that actually dislikes him? Yeah, Kyle. I'll hate him with you. He's not my goat. Are there bad boys at marathon running? Yeah.

Is he number one, though? Number one what? Like, has he got the fastest? What's the fastest ever? Oh, absolutely. What I'm saying is his accomplishment in the marathon is the most impressive we've ever seen. What is it? What's it on?

How fast is it? Whatever. I forget the... 159.40. 159.40. Holy shit. That's fucking insane. What is it? What's the time? How fast is it? Whatever. I forget the... 159.40. 159. Holy shit. That's fucking insane. What's that?

What's that? Mincy could do that. Per mile. It's in the fours. Fucking fly him. Fucking A. That long. That's a long drive.

That's like a pain in the ass to drive. I would hate it. Yeah. That sucks. 159. Holy fuck. What a beast. I hate him, though.

I hate him. You're just hating him because Kyle hates him. Yeah. Purely. Oh, that's fine. I don't hate him. When did he break this record? I don't like the guy.

He has the world record. I'm looking at it. There's actually controversy over it. Oh, okay. Good, good, good, good, good, good. I hate him. So his world record is 201.09 at the 2022 Berlin Marathon.

His personal best is 159.40, but it didn't count as a record because of pacing and fluid violations. Wait, was this the guy, didn't this happen on television, where they, I swear there was like a TV special where

there was like a car. Yeah, he had pacers, which I TV special where there was a car. Yeah, he had Pacers, which I guess doesn't count. There's no controversy as to whether he's the number one. Nike paid for it or something. What's a fluid violation? I bet you the car was like he was drafting it. That, fine, but what's a fluid violation? Are you not allowed to drink?

I don't know. Yeah. What about that woman? Wasn't there a woman who once just got in a cab? Yeah, on the subway, I think. I think it was the subway. That's such an awesome move to be the champion for like a day, and then everyone figures it out, but you had that day.

You don't get to – like the real winner of that race never got the glory. Yeah. You robbed it from them, and I know that you probably become like a pariah, but for that one day. I think that's because of her is why they have like the checkpoints now throughout. Like you have your electronic bib and it's like confirms that you went through everything. How long did she go without people figuring it out? Yeah, that's hilarious that like it went longer than literally two seconds. Yeah.

Well, I think it was a long time ago. So for. But yeah, what a fucking boss move. Jeffrey did that on the Fresh Prince as well. Was her name Rosie something? That sounds familiar. The one I'm thinking of is Rosie. Olga Mud or something.

It was a weird name. Olga Mud? Olga Mud. Olga Mud. What? Do you know an Olga Mud? It was Olga Mud. It was a weird name.

Was it two Ds? You know an Olga Mud, don't you? Olga Mud or something. It was a weird name. I don't know an Olgalemud, don't you? I don't know if it's called Oglemud or something. It was a weird name. I don't know an Oglemud. Oglemud? Now I want to know what Oglemud's doing. Oglemud.

Like a European Pokemon. She was in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Oglemud. She's 82. Let's ring her up. I could get her phone number. I really want to prank call someone today, but I think that I want to prank call someone today, but I think that...

I want to prank call Darren Revelle for an Instagram video he had that was the most ridiculous thing ever. Doesn't sound like a prank call. Sounds like you just want to make fun of him for the Instagram video. I want to pretend that we're United Airlines. What was the video? Can you pull up Instagram stories? Or no? Watch this and get as mad as I was.

Keep going. Oh, God. This is how he posts? Yeah. Keep going. This one. First world problems, but if you have a voice on social media,

you have to use it. So I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing it for everyone else. Hey, Scott Kirby, United CEO. If you leave from Terminal A and you go to a city, the plane has to return to Terminal A. It can't, when you're coming back, go to Terminal C. It makes no sense. What?

So I left from Terminal A to Dallas. I flew back same day from Dallas to Newark, and it landed in Terminal C. This is what he's complaining about. I then had to take a train to B and a train to A and walk 15 minutes to the parking garage in A. Cannot happen. Yes, it can. Not only can garage in a. Cannot happen. Yes, it can. Not only can it happen, it has to happen. I'm happy you guys are just as angry as me.

I saw it at Newark. That is very convenient. Yes. What? How could you possibly, like, the logistics behind making that happen. Yeah. Taking land wherever. You can't do that.

I've never once. I fly in and out of New York. It's like my airport. I live right by it. And that happens all the time. I've never once thought, well, this is wrong. So I hop on the train. What happens when on the flight, where did he say Dallas? So on the flight back from Dallas to Newark,

is he under the impression that everybody on the flight parked their car in A? Parked their car at the exact same place? Same trip as him. What happens if on the flight someone came from A and someone came from C? What do they do? Just crash the plane? Can we fact check this?

I think United at Newark has multiple terminals. I've never heard anyone complain about that. Ever. Ever. You guys also brushed over the JFK memorabilia. Oh, yeah. I went for the day just to go see this. I was thinking about Funniest Travis USA.

We gave a guy 100 bucks to not compete. Yeah. He wasn't from the USA. Yeah. Fuck. Ripped us off. Did. Yeah.

That's pretty funny. Funniest Travis. Yeah, fuck. That's pretty funny. Funniest Travis. Yeah, fuck. That's pretty funny. Never realized. He came clean. He was like, I'm Canadian. We were like, oh, we can't Venmo you?

Shit. We just didn't even realize. I wonder if I can request the money back. You have to. Did we title it Funniest Travis USA or just Funniest Travis? Funniest Travis USA. That's the best of us. We will do Funniest Travis worldwide.

I think we probably already have it. I want to find like the funniest like asian travis yeah that would be very funny travis lee a wrestler from cornell asian okay okay all right i think i'm funny he isn't no you don't know that he isn't? No. You don't know that. He isn't. Make a word for it. Kyle knows. I was looking up stats. Purdue Wrestling hasn't had an All-American in 10 years.

And they're a good team. And I swear, they're the most 8-9 seed team. Every year you look at the brackets, every 8-9 seed is from Purdue. None of them All-American. Yeah. No, yeah, Purdue's – listen, I'm with you. Purdue's just an average athletic program. Matt Ramos can make the finals. I was in attendance.

I really want him to. When Purdue – the last, like, great Purdue football season, Kyle Orton, when he was – Yeah, we talked about that. Yeah, Wisconsin beat them with – Kyle Orton fumbled with, like, three minutes talked about that. Yeah, Wisconsin beat them with the – Kyle Orton fumbled with like three minutes left. Rasmus James and Scott Starks. That was it.

College game day. Game day was there, yep. I don't think they've been back to West Lafayette since then. No, definitely not. Yeah. Rasmus James, great name. They weren't there in like 18 when the Rondell Moore game happened? I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah. That was a Chris Fowler game. I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, that kid with cancer just beat Ohio State by himself. Can't be right. That absolutely happened. Oh.

Oh. That was awesome. Oh. Urban Meyer probably like had to go kill us. Remember Rondell Moore? He caught the ball near the sidelines and he made like three or four moves. That can't be true. Just knifed Ohio State. Pew and he made like three or four moves. That can't be true. Just knife to Ohio State.

Pew, pew, pew, pew. Simply not true. Explosives. Pew, pew. Pew, pew. Rosie Ruiz was her name. And how long did it go? Olga Mudd, Rosie Ruiz.

Only to have her title stripped eight days. Eight days! 1980. Not a week. Eight days! 1980. Not a week. Eight days! She was declared the winner of the 1980 Boston Marathon. Worth it. And then had it stripped eight days later.

Worth it. She's still living? Did they get the money back? Worth it. That is so worth it. No, she died in 2019. Shit. Or did she?

Maybe that's her... That bitch skirted COVID. Brandon, people are saying you were thinking of Zola Bud. I was. Zola Bud. Okay. Oh, she tripped Mary Decker. That's right.

Oh, can we see a highlight of that? And she also ran barefoot, I think. Wait, she tripped someone in the Olympics? This also rules. This is good memory. I woke him up. It was close. Zero percent chance you get away with this.

Yeah, but it's also like... I think she did get away with it, didn't she? Look, she's barefoot. What? Okay. Where'd she trip her? That's going to be when they fought. Oh, yeah.

She put her foot back. That's awesome. Like, fuck you. I'm not- She didn't even win. Yeah, she's like, I'm not winning. You're not winning. You know what she did it for?

She tripped for a bronze. I think that was- Wait, so the person who won that event, what happens to them? There's no way that's where she got hurt. I think that was kind of- Yeah, she's milking it. She tripped for a bronze. I think that was... So the person who won that event, what happens to them? There's no way that's where she got hurt. She's milking it. That's kind of a flop. I think that was kind of a flop. Wait, Olga gets the lead back. Zola. Zola Bud.

Olga Mud. Oh, this is... Did she win? I don't see a lot of races with that composition. Oh, she truly did trip for third. There you go. And guess what? Bronze counts.

Wait, no, it's still going. God damn it. How long is this race? It's a marathon. Oh, it is? No, they don't run the marathon on the track. Well, they end there sometimes. Or it's a distance.

I don't know. It is a distance. Yes, correct, Brandon. She didn't even get third. Eight minutes, what is that, 1,500? Or is it 5,000? I don't know. Oh, my gosh.

I thought they were. Oh, maybe she did. Is that Olga? Zola. I think that's what you have to do if you get tripped, though. You have to ham it up. I mean, at that point, you're out, and you know you're out. It's also a free out. You don't have keep running it's she actually didn't do enough i would have i would

have demanded to be taken off in a stretcher yeah this is it's frowned upon sure but like is it illegal to trip people during track or is that like part of the game you're elbowing each other you're do elbow a lot like horses do it yeah elbowing and stuff like i don't know is it they forgot to make it a rule my favorite sports sports clip of all time is Derek Redmond and his dad coming and helping him across the finish line. Oh, yeah, you would like that. Why wouldn't I like that? That a man's dad helped him across the finish line?

My favorite sports highlight is Zola Budd. You just found out it existed. Tripping someone. It's number one for me. Yeah, he came out and helped him across, which actually was cheating. It didn't count. Didn't he technically get disqualified? Should have.

Stricken from the record and all that for that? Well, I mean, his hamstring was blown up. It didn't matter. Right, but you can't have your dad help you. Well, he came in like 90 seconds behind everybody else. Right. It didn't count. It didn't matter.

But he did finish the race. Disqualified. You know what? I don't y'all to piss on this today favorite memories of disqualification oh i don't want y'all to shit on my good memories i loved it and i enjoyed it and i watch it often i have a memory of uh do you remember like in the 90s when michael john who was the canadian dude michael johnson ben johnson and johnson was 88 ben johnson donovan bailey donovan bailey yeah didn't. Didn't Michael Johnson race Donovan Bailey? He was losing. No, 150.

He was losing and then pretended like his hamstring exploded. Something like that. They did the race. At rules, too. Or century or something. I like all these bad sportsmanship moments. Yeah, Michael Johnson. God, the 90s were awesome to grow up in.

96, he broke the world record for the 200, and he won the 400 in the same event. Ben Johnson was the Canadian who did so many steroids, he had to get adult braces because his skull was growing so fast. He also did some cocaine, I think. He just popped up with adult braces in the Olympics. Yeah, that's crazy. No, but you didn't do steroids. Well.

Imagine your head grows so big because of your steroids. You're like, fuck. Teeth are going apart. Ben Johnson was 88 in Calgary. Donovan Bailey was like 96. I have this memory of Michael Johnson coming off the starting blocks. He's making the first turn, and you realize he's going to lose. He's like, fuck my hamstring.

He did that on the move. That's what you have to do. You can't lose. Especially if it's like America versus Canada, and everyone's watching it. You can't lose to Canada. You can't lose that. You have to do. You can't lose. Especially if it's like America versus Canada and everyone's watching it. You can't lose to Canada. Can't lose that. You have to. What's the worst display

of sportsmanship ever? Ooh. Coach K going into the locker room. After, who is it? They beat Lafayette? No. They beat.

Bone whispering in the dozen bonus rounds. Tony Stewart running over a guy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He killed him. Very bad sportsmanship.

There's some good NASCAR ones. At MSU, Michigan game this year was pretty crazy. They were smashing that dude with that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that was bad. Juwan Howard. I think Isaiah and them leaving the bench before Michael Jordan beat him in the playoffs. Tony Stewart ran over a man.

That wasn't bad sportsmanship. It's actually age. I would say that's age really well, actually. Why? Because that's the NBA now. Well, that's not even the NBA now. It's what people loved about the NBA then. Yeah.

Like these two really hated each other. Yeah. And Isaiah said that the Celtics did it to them. That's not true. Right. They didn't do it nearly as big as the business. No, they were cowards. That guy that called his dad before he was about to win,

who wants to be a millionaire? Oh, yeah, that was actually kind of a cool man. That's also the easiest millionaire question of all time. You wouldn't have gotten it. Well, maybe Alan Googling it. You're not allowed to be Alan anymore. No, I can't be Alan. You took Alan away from me.

Yeah, no, Alan's gone. And I understand there was an incredible match last night. I didn't get to watch it. I guess you can today. Yeah. I don't want to. Wait, there was an incredible match, so you didn't watch it, but you definitely asked for all the highlights?

Jeff texts me and says how matches go. You didn't start that text? We have a running text where he tells me. To get the questions? No. And don't act like I'm the only one who gets questions. Sometimes when a match ends and he'll be like, here, look at the questions.

Were they even? That happens all the time. That happens. We've all been. There he is. It's Alan Walker. When did I take the first picture?

Yeah, when did you? I don't even remember that. You have a fucking mask around your neck, so it was probably 2020. Oh, that one. I meant the other one, yeah.

I forgot you wore a mask, sheep. You're a big mask guy. Masks are illegal now in New York City. Illegal? Illegal? The mayor said that business owners to stop burglary should force customers to take their masks off. Oh, I love it. Well, it's like what happened with Lil Sass the other night.

There was guys in masks, right? Who came into the store and... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were not COVID masks, though. They had full-on ski masks on. With just the eyes and the mouth. Just like the circles. That's how you know.

Bad's about to go down. Yeah. Huh. What a whirlwind. Very cool. And then John Morant can't have a gun? Well, I mean, he can't be flashing it on Instagram live. That's crazy.

Why? Is that illegal? Isn't it actually illegal in the CBA for the NBA guys to not have guns? Is it? Because of Gilbert Arenas, right? Yes. He broke the NBA's gun policy. You can't bring a gun to a locker room.

So I think they're like, aren't they looking into like, because he was at the club, obviously, but they're looking into whether he had the gun on him. That might be the worst sportsmanship in sports history. Gilbert Arenas got in an argument with a guy and then brought a gun to the locker room. Yeah. That's a lot.

Didn't use it. So kind of great restraint. Define using it. A lot of maturity. Probably Hall of Fame restraint moment, too. Yeah. What player fucked another player's wife? How long you got?

Oh, it's saying moms. Yeah. Three moms. Tony Parker, right? Tony Parker. Yeah. Tony Parker. They all said Steve Nash had a baby that was black.

When I was at Ohio State, I would fuck all the players' girlfriends. I was like, that was kind of how I got respect in the locker room. Power move. Just dicked them all down. Aaron Hernandez murdered someone. Yeah, that's true. That's bad sportsmanship. But they weren't on the team.

Maybe multiple people. A couple people, I think. And he was gay, too. That's two things. You would have served two life sentences. He was a gay murderer. Yeah. Brad Marchand called Patrick Sharp's kids ugly on the ice.

Maybe. Yeah, that happened. Kevin Garnett called Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient. Yes, alopecia. And then in the postgame said, I didn't say that. I said he was cancerous to his team. Yeah. All the Boston media people were like, see?

That's so funny. He didn't say it. It's like that dude that was like, I didn't say I was Jewish. I was Jew-ish. Or, yeah. John Beeline did that, too, when he said that he called the Cavs thugs. And he's like, no, I said they were slugs. Sluggish.

I didn't say he was a cancer patient. I said he was cancerous. What is George Ramos doing these days? He still has his job, right? Didn't he have a... The last lie I saw was so funny, the volleyball lie, where he was like, yeah, I played volleyball in college. It's like, he didn't.

He didn't do any of this, but to pick volleyball as your lie sport. He just keeps going. It's just a weird one. Can you see what is- George Santos? Santos. Yeah, George Santos. I don't think volleyball would be all that checkable, though.

Santos was like a gay drag queen in Brazil. He said no, he wasn't, and he was like, that was just me having fun. Yeah. Okay. I'm sure he was having fun. His mom died in 9-11, and they found out she died like three years ago. He was raising money for sick dogs, but just taking the money. That was a big one.

Jewish was. Who said the Jewish line? He said, I'm not Jewish. Oh, Santos said that? Oh, he's quotable. Said he was Jewish, and they found out he wasn't Jewish. He was like, no, I didn't mean I was Jewish. I meant I was Jew-ish.

Yeah, Jew-ish. Yeah, he basically had it like his, it wouldn't have made sense that he was alive. He was like, yeah, my grandmother died in the Holocaust. My mother died in 9-11. It's like, how are you born? Oh, yeah. All this shit.

My mother died as a child. The fuck? Yeah, that guy just keeps on lying. You kind of have to respect it at this point. Oh, absolutely. He's very funny. There's nothing we can do, right? He's elected.

Yeah, he ran as a gay candidate, and they found that he was married to a woman for like seven years. Now, he could still be gay, but. He came out right before the election, I think. Yeah. What is this? Just Google and see what the most recent, because it's literally like every week he's got a new lie. Oh, he's running around for president?

Oh, I might vote for him. We're going to have the hats in the barstool store. Yeah. Old Roe's going to carry those for sure. What could possibly go wrong? If you just Google news, George Ramos or Santos. Who's George Ramos? Why do I keep saying that?

News anchor. Oh. What's the most recent lie? He's got a fiction tape showing begging to feed pet fish. You search his, oh yeah, the drag queen. You search his name oh yeah the drag queen you search his name he also said he was mugged in new york city once and that was proven to be false he also said he had like a high power job at goldman sachs yeah he never did yeah oh yeah so i think he said he had he like is dealing

with like old volleyball injuries but if you're a lie about having played for the team resurface you're a politician you get caught in one lie. You just keep going. Telling 20 lies is then the smartest thing you can do. Yeah. He's the lying guy. We know him because he's the lying guy. He said he was a volleyball star at Baruch College.

You can look at him and tell he's not a volleyball star. Noted alum, Glennie Balls, who didn't finish. Was that an alum? He attended Baruch College. That's the closest you can get. Noted alum, Glennie Balls, who didn't finish. Was that an alum? He attended Baruch College. That's the closest you can get. Yeah. I feel like Glennie Balls from Baruch College, he'll definitely get.

Honorary degree? Yeah, for sure. He'll do commencement. Yeah. He's doing the longest interview ever with this young lady. Can we check in on that? Should we? Army veteran. Oh, they're laughing.

She's an army veteran? She's an army veteran who, I was talking with her about this before. I never knew it was true, but there was this rumor that you, if you were in the military, you could get one cosmetic surgery on the house. And the big rumor always was that, oh, women then will get boob jobs so that when they're in the standing position firing a rifle, they can rest their arm on their tits. Okay. And that was the rumor that women were getting boob jobs for that.

But she's like, no, no, I did get a boob job through the military. For real, because you can cite emotional. She's like, I needed it for my mental health. I got a boob job. She's like, no, no, that's true. That rumor is true. She confirmed it. I'll say it.

Emotional health, emotional support boobs. Yes. We all should get those. Those tax dollar. Emotional health, emotional support boobs. Yes. We all should get those. Those tax dollar titties? Yeah, I think so. So we own those. Uh-huh. Finally, something better in here.

We're going to need to see those titties. We're going to claim what is mine. Rico will be in the doghouse for that one. Rico's not allowed to look because he doesn't pay his taxes. Not for you. You better hope she's not watching. No, I'm a dead man. Girl was raising up Zaha before they went into Glenny's.

Oh. She asked Zaha if he was in the industry. Zaha? Are you? I was like, you need to get in. See you later. What in the industry. Zah? Are you? I was like, you need to get in. Later. What's her handle, Zah? That's Kaylee Gunner.

Kaylee Gunner. That's right. Kaylee Gunner. Let me check what her ad on OnlyFans is, but I am a subscriber. Big fan. Yeah, Glennie said this was one of his white whales. He was super excited to have her on, which seems great. Lovely lady.

What type of whale? Shout out that at for the Yak chat. Are there white whales? They'll find her. Yeah. Belugas. Belugas, that's right. Idiot. I thought they were a light gray.

I'm voting. Douchebagbag They're white Yeah, at Kaylee Gunner Yak fans are just How do you spell it? Kaylee, K-A-Y-L-A They're getting close How do you keep bringing it up?

I don't know K-A-Y-L-E-Y Gunner, G-U-N-N-E-R. I need the attention. Billy Gunner. Zach Nipp said the most boring, he DMed me, the most boring highlights is 2015 Diamonds Top 10 Netball World Cup. Yeah, I can see that.

What's netball? That's called up backboard right yeah it's like it's big in australia i think that looks terrible yeah one of my buddies uh uh mary oh yeah yeah one of my buddies married an australian uh woman and she was on a netball team and at the wedding like her whole it was a bunch of women that played netball. And I was just as curious as you guys are. I was like, so it's just basketball without a backboard? And they're like, pretty much. I don't think they dribble either, right?

And I was like, why don't you just play basketball? And they were like, because this is better on the top ten moments. Here we go. Oh, my God. I think it might be women only. I don't know if men – Wait, what is this? Who was that?

Yeah, this is how they play in Australia. Who's that getting that rebound? That was the highlight? Wait, those – It's the top ten moment. Oh. This is awesome. There's a good crowd at these, though.

Might be a netball guy. Do they ever shoot deep? It's the Olympics. Here we go, number eight. And then, oh, that defense. Horrendous defense. So it's just passing to the, you're just getting low. This is Bob Ryan's favorite sport.

Are you not allowed to play defense? Just low post play. You only move when the ball's in the air. It is. Just keep that pivot foot. Uh-oh. That's a highlight. Highlight is my willies on the bench.

Got your goose. It wasn't top five, was it? It was eight, seven. That was number seven? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh five, was it? It was eight, seven. It was number seven. Oh. Oh. That was it. Still nice.

These are the most boring highlights. Good save. Good save. Shoot it. Pump fake. Can they not raise their arms for defense? Can they not jump? You can't jump when you shoot?

I want to play this sport. Yak netball. Coming soon. It seems like they have athletic plays until they go to shoot. What are they doing? What is going on? What are the rules? Are they dribbling? No dribbling.

That was an accidental dribble. What the fuck is this? I don't know. That was a dribble. That was an accidental dribble. I mean, that's okay. You barely won it. What the fuck is this? I don't know. They're getting more boring. It's like they have good passing. Shoot it from there. Shoot it. Was that a bounce pass?

It was. Okay. But then as soon as they get here, it's... Stop. Move. I got this. Everybody reset. What?

Why would she put her hand up? That's got to be... That's the rule. I get it, but... What? You have to let them shoot? That's got to be the rule. I get it, but... That's not a highlight. That's the aftermath. We've got to watch more netball. We've got to stop the Australians.

Australia was a mistake. Steph just launching. Yeah. I think the British are doing that too. Launching? Netball. I mean, is it just do men play it? Because I only know of women that they dunk.

It doesn't seem like they can jump. Can we look up like men's netball highlights just to see? Maybe it's a little. It is among a rare number of sports Which have been created Exclusively for females What the fuck I want to play netball This is bullshit What was that sport I texted you last year

It was a combination of soccer And ping pong Oh yeah Tech ball or something Like the curved table Yeah that's interesting. Yeah. Huh.

Yeah. Net ball. That has nothing to do with net ball, but yeah, that is. I just was doing that for sports. Yeah, this is tech ball. Look at this. That's a sport. That's a sport.

Mm-hmm. He's a fun one. This is actually pretty. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Damn. Oh. Holy shit. What? Oh.

Brazil going to win this point? Oh. All of that for that. World is curved. Damn. It's true. That actually looked pretty sick. Yeah.

What are the other sports created just for women? Field hockey. Have you seen field hockey shootouts in college? It's so funny. I went to college to play field hockey. You did? Why don't you play rugby? D2.

Well, then I got too into booze and drugs, and then I played rugby. Okay. You're the girliest girl. We went to the NCAA D2 championships my freshman year. Wow. I played. I sat bench. Came in second place.

Why'd you make that sound like a position? Yeah. Very exciting. All our team was women from Holland. What school was it? We're like 30 years old. Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I got into, I got, there was one short period where I got really into girls lacrosse highlights. There's one girl who's like really good and then most of the other girls suck a lot and she just dominates. How short was this period of you liking these highlights? This would be, this was probably like a month and it would be like Sunday and it was just in my algorithm on Instagram. I'd wake up hungover and I would just watch Time to Boot it hours. Fucking awesome.

But aside from that, it sucks. Remember her name? No. We'll guess something. It's a girl from BC. Men's volleyball is awesome. Men's volleyball is awesome. The Olympics, I love watching that shit. Crazy athletes. It's fun to watch. They're like 6'9".

The only issue I have with men's volleyball is whenever there's a sport that's a step below the most popular 6'9". Okay, but the only... All right, so the only issue I have with men's volleyball is, like, whenever there's a sport that's a step below the most popular sports, like, it's men's volleyball just, I assume, is guys who just don't have a jumper. Because they're the same body type as basketball players. Yeah.

A little bit. Same, like, jumping, you know, using their hands. And they're also... Right. Yeah. Yeah. They're the, they're right. Yeah. They're the defective basketball players. Right. Defective. No, it's kind of, it's a little bit, I don't want to shit on rugby,

but some of it's like rugby, why aren't they playing football? What's stool ball? It feels like that's something we should know. It's the best picture they had for it. It's just so far away. Lady stool ball. What is it? Cricket in the air.

Oh, I think I've seen this. It's just Quidditch. Traditional play by milkmaids. What were they doing out there? Little battle. All right. I like speed climbing. Have you watched speed climbing?

That's awesome. Yeah, speed climbing rules. Newcomb ball. Nutball? Newcomb is like the gym class sport from elementary school. That's volleyball without hitting it over the net to each other. You catch it and throw it. I've never seen that.

No, I haven't either. I used to play that. Oh, synchronized swimming is just swimming, isn't it? That's awesome. Throwball. Isn't there a water polo that's played all underwater? The bottom of the pool hockey.

Yes. I see a highlight of that. That shit rules. They play with like a weighted puck and they all just have to go down. It's like a torpedo. Do they have scuba equipment? No. So you have to come up for air every now and then.

It's like a line equipment? No. Okay. So you have to come up for air every now and then. Yes. It's like a line change? Yeah. That seems exhausting. Do the ad while he looks for it. Well, I think Sasha should do it. Shady Rays, baby. Oh, yeah. Come on.

You're good. You got it. You took the last ad from me. Now you don't want to take this one. I didn't take it from you. I was just correcting you. You tried to grandstand. I'll correct you if you miss anything on this one.

Grandstand in front of everybody. We got everybody here. You're just going to put off the ad? I'm sure the advertisers want you to say it. I'm going to talk about Shady Rays. Shady Rays is fantastic. It's a great, great sunglass company. Take on the sun with gear built to last.

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There's no risk when you shop with Shady Rays. Their team always has your back. Exclusively for Yak listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com. Use code YAK for 50% off two or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. Can we see this underwater? Yeah, look at this. Look at this. I forgot they had flippers.

Look at this shit. There's like a... You don't hit the ball. You just take the ball. Look at them wearing Those little speedos How do you play defense? Oh we got 10 How can you tell

Oh whoa I like the 10 highlight That's a rim protection Right there Whoa Wait the ref Has to come down So if he's up

You can do anything Yeah what the hell This reminds me Isn't there something In Harry Potter Where one of the big events The Triwizard thing Is like all underwater And and they have this whole...

Everyone, all the spectators have no idea what the fuck's going on. There's probably people sitting up there. Look at this shot. What a shot. Yeah, I want to see the crowds for this thing. You're right, the refs have to go up in the water. Staring at their phones, waiting to hear what happened underwater. This is so chaotic.

It's like fish feeding in a lake. Oh, what? We should play this. I can't imagine your mind when you're getting into this. Let's see how long we could last. Oh, we would die. I have no idea what's happening. What country is this?

South Africa and Britain. Where's the puck? Oh, there it is. Oh, wait, you. Oh, break one. Oh, wait, you have to have a... There's sticks, too? A little tiny stick. Oh, shit.

They were just throwing it. Alex O'Fishkin. Oh. Whoa, this one's weird. Oh, I like this one because the yellow puck on the... Sidney Codsby would be better. This is like unsettling to watch. Yeah, this is...

What player in the world from this must make like $400 a year? Anybody with the name Shark? How do you find yourself... Oh my God! ...into this? Now it's got to be a tough conversation. Red hole like a ship. Okay.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, wait. Whoa. Oh. It's like a merman. This is so fucking weird. I hate this.

Yeah, it sucks. It makes me anxious. Very anxious. The oar. Yeah, that's good. Very boring right now. Oh, I hate it so much. Look at the little feet going.

The oar are both wateri. Oh, I hate it so much. Look at the little feet going. We are both water turned. I'm just out of hockey. All right, yeah, this sport sucks. Sucks. That was freakish is what that was. We just got bored and we're like, what if we do it at the bottom? TJ, do you have any field hockey shootouts?

Those are also the sports where it's like they just invented it so the fewest amount of people could compete. So you have to be good. So you could say I'm one of the best. Yeah, right. There can't be more than like 300 people who competed that sport. Somebody mentioned this one. Combat juggling. What?

You got my attention. Okay, all right. Let's go. All right. All right. I'm in on this. Yeah. Each player has to maintain control over three clubs at all times.

This is called being an asshole. The objective is to destroy your opponent by slashing their clubs to the ground. Wait a minute. This is Connor Griffin. It's Connor Griffin's voice. 30 clubs are in motion at the start of each round, but only one player needs to maintain control until they reach the breach zone. What the fuck?

Here is Sayers trying to lock up the arm of Ben Thompson on the right as two of his own clubs trying to steal now. Two-point advantage. I would watch this. How do you become a referee for this? The face must be overwhelming. Quick attempt by Josh Horton. Horton dove in.

Wait, go back just a second. What was that other voice? It was a color commentator. A 70-year-old combat. That guy was the combat juggling champion in 1955....in yellow, Luka Benjaminson, who had six in a row. Last time, team parallel scored was with... ...Loudon grabbing for Schmeisner's club, not able to get it. Schmeisner diving in with the right hand.

Schmeisner! Schmeisner. Oh. I want a Schmeisner jersey. I need it. Oh! So you can both knock theirs away and catch theirs at some point? Joe showers.

These guys. Wait, there's two elements, one on one and then whole team. Wait. Did they capture the black? Yeah, what the fuck? These are just frantic clowns. I think they're trying to get

to a certain point on the floor. Why is the room black? Oh yeah, it's pitch black. What's up with that? Schmeisner and Joe Showers. Skill Con. This rocks. What the fuck?

Whoa. This was on ESPN Does The O Show on August 8th. Whoa. This was figure dancing. What? This is disgusting a cornhole. Are you going to go from figure dancing to this? Whatever happened with the cup stacking, Nick, by the way?

Oh, they reached back out. Oh, yeah. We're like, hey, we asked our director if you could film there, and he's unsure, so it's not going to happen. It's tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's cup stacking championship.

I got added to a group chat, wrong number, about this little boy, Gage, who won his first competition. It's tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's Cup Stacking Championship. I got added to a group chat, wrong number, about this little boy, Gage, who won his first competition. And he's in another one today in Kansas at seven. I was like, hey, congrats, Gage. I'd love to come out and check it out. Yeah. And they haven't. Yeah.

Damn. I know. The next big name in the sport, too. There he is. There he is. There he is. That's a slick trophy. That's a great text chain to be added to. Good job, Gage.

Yeah. Is he wearing a Fila shirt? Yeah. Hell yeah. Style. And grace. I kind of want to know how he does those stuff. Hell yeah. Style. And grace. I kind of want to know how he does those stuff. I know. Even though you're not going.

You got to text for an update. I know. Yeah. I will tomorrow. How to go, Gage. At 7. I want to send a good luck and then see how he did. You want to spin the wheel, TJ?

We should try to invent the dumbest sport just so that we can be the best at it. For a brief amount of time. Did you and your friends ever invent, like me and my brother are talking about played hall ball in our house. Like, did you ever invent a sport with your friends and was it any good?

Yeah, we invented extreme bowling. I had a really long carpeted basement and we bought those like really cheap plastic bowling pins. Yeah. And you had to throw it and there was a guy that was defending it, and if he caught it, the ball, before it hit the pins, he could run it back, and if he made it back without getting tackled,

he got to throw. Whoa. Very fun. Regular bowling. It's like the roof ball guys. Did you guys see that? Oh, yeah. CJ sent me that.

Yeah. There's these guys. I think I understand it correctly. They created a game in the 90s and videotaped it, and they just released it the last week. It was the 2008 Roofball Championships. It was 2008. So here it is.

Look. Adam Willis, and you're watching the 2008 Roofball World Championships. Is it an hour long? Part one's an hour long. It is awesome, though. I watched all of it. It's just a relic of the past. It's just the production value

is so high for something like this. Like they have like four camera operators and live graphics. Why didn't they release it earlier? I'm sure

maybe they gave I don't know on like tape or DVD or something in like 2007. There's the field. There's all sorts of rules. It's like a built out league

with trophies and stuff. It's awesome. They're trying to get it stuck on the roof? No. So if it hits the roof and they catch it, it's a point. If it hits the pole and they catch it, it's five points plus one for a catch, so six. Oh, my goodness. It goes around the pole on the roof.

It's ten plus a catch. There's so many rules. Travis! Oh, my God. Oh! Well, today's a great day for roofball. Got a nice little cloud cover going on, so it keeps the sun out of everybody's eyes. I think it's going to be a beautiful day.

It's a better setup than we have. Today we have a record 24 competitors playing here today, competing for the Susan J. Willis trophy. But before we get that started. The dog in the background. That guy's struggling. Someone's saying it was on public access TV. Oh, shit.

I love that. Where do you think this is at? What part of the country is this? Ohio? I want to say it was Oregon or Oklahoma. There's a lot of guys in Jersey. It's not Oklahoma. Oregon, maybe.

One point. That's not Oklahoma. Oregon, maybe. One point. One point. That's worth one point. All right. A ping is five. The primary method of scoring in roof ball is called the ping. Throw the ball up and hit the pole, and that's worth five. Oh, he's the champion.

Why? Oh, yeah. That's worth a total of six. Five for the ping and one for the catch Now the really big points come when you throw it around That's when you take the ball and it goes up One side of the roof, around the back side of the pole And then down the other side

That's worth ten points That was definitely re-edited. Yes. You didn't do that on that throw. It's worth one point. It's all of 11. The one thing you don't want to do is throw the ball over the house. That's worth a negative five points to your score.

I just love that this is like a... You don't have to show us that. Yeah, no. Oh. And you have to go get the ball. Uh-oh. Oh, bitch. Oregon State University.

There it is. Right there in the... This actually looks like super fun. So fun. Yeah. I could play this for hours. O'Reilly's one of the goats. Wait, so the car...

Minus one point. Minus one. I feel like I'm ready personally to watch some competition. That's worth one point off by total score. You could have caught that. Yeah, you could have. Yeah, let's get to it. A little pull.

Another way to score points. A little pull. That's their flag. Beth Willis. Six-time champion. Is she the only one time champion She's the commissioner's sister So that's why the Susan Willis trophy Is the mom of the house That's a hell of a mic too

Okay Rob we're getting set Oh my god It is up and It's a ping That would be six points He was going for the round Of course he was why wouldn't you It is up and it is a ping. So that is a catch. That would be six points. He was going for the round.

Of course he was. Why wouldn't you? This is awesome. We're hearing banter from the crowd who didn't know we actually started play. Yes, we did. We are ready to go. So this is banter from the crowd. It's just how the crowd is. He got no ping.

So Casey does not ping on his first attempt, but he does catch. So that is one. This is awesome. And this would be Michael J. Cook making his first appearance in roofball. This is his roofball debut. Announcers are also the scorekeeper. He's actually getting a little bit of tutelage. It's the first time he's up there.

So we had Adam talking to him, coaching him through. Let's see how he does. Rookie throw, rookie try. His first throw up. It's a confident throw. It is. Goes around. Down. Let's see how he does. Rookie throw, rookie try. His first throw up. It's a confident throw. It is. Goes around.

Down. Got a catch and a throw. And a catch. Wow. You have to catch it, right? Oh, no, that's just for the extra point. A little bit. It seems to be a theme, actually,

beginners watching this show. I think in roofball history, there have been quite a few people who made it fairly fun the first time around and blew it. So are we just going to watch this? There's hours and hours of these from, memes from the U.S. Open. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! The bad care off the roof. Still a big one. Awesome. So what does he get out of that?

He does get 10 out of that. This is the perfect level of interesting to me. Yes. It's not. It's kind of boring, but it's not quite so boring. It's just like the perfect level of interesting to me. It's kind of boring, but it's not quite so boring. It's just like the perfect level of... It's exactly what if you were like a kid, you could just spend an entire afternoon playing this game.

And he bounces it off the roof, and he just makes the catch, but only comes away with one point. So the beginner's luck doesn't exactly translate into 10-2. This is 2007. Yeah, it does feel like 1995. Yeah. But nothing. I'm going with it.

Nothing to catch. That was just a ping off the right side. Oh, I'm not sure that pinged. I just see the review of that. Get this baby. Shut this baby up. What the fuck? Oh, one hand.

Oh, Casey's good. This guy. Walking away unf catch. Casey's good. Who's this guy? Here is Michael. Oh, Michael Wilcock. Yeah, good ping. And the easy catch for six. That's a lot of vest.

I like that none of them are wearing athletic gear. Oh, no. That makes it so much better. Like, because it would suck if one guy showed up in, like, shorts. They could easily move that car. The car could very easily not be there. The car is part of the game. We had to jump.

Six points for Brian. B. Rothery is crushing it. This guy is the best. But is there a second level? Is there a second? This is the first round of game one. I understand that, but is it just the whole time or is there a different roof? It's played in innings. What else do you want?

No, I don't want anything else, but I figure it's a perfect game. It does get a little repetitive if they don't level up at all. Also, do you think there's any damage to the house? And just misses the play. Yeah, what sport has levels up when you play? I guess I kind of thought this was a video game for a second.

I feel like she has to be a single mom because I can't imagine a dad withstanding kids throwing the football at that point. With the car being hit. I was watching a clip where they were showing the inside of the house too, TJ. Ceiling ball? There is, at one point,

they cut to a camera inside the house. Like them cooking lunch. Somebody throws it over and comes back through the house and they cut to a camera in the living room. Close game. This is one of the... Oh! Not really a good effort.

Is that five? Is that five? Or do you have to catch it for the ping to go through? I think you have to catch it just for the plus one, right? You should have to catch it. I think you do have to. Because there was that guy that had the small pole. Catching it adds one.

Catching is the least amount of points you get. Catching doesn't matter. He's really gotten close to throwing over. And a zero for Michael. Michael, you idiot. Do you have a go-to when you're hungover and have the scariest something you put on, like the office or something? This could be the new for me.

There's the baby. We got an Indy Jack Angler on YouTube. Brian with the attempt. Tried for the catch multiplier there, but ends up coming away with just one point. Watch him. As he was just in between the posts up there. This guy's good.

Oh! Jinxed him, Zach. This might be where they show the inside of the house. Trying to make his attempt here to move on to the second round. This is a close-ass game. Michael with a nice spiral, but only comes away with one point on the catch. You know that you want to spiral it, don't you? Brian takes his time, tosses it up there, gets it. Good ping. Strong ping. And the catch for the catch. I don't know that you want to spiral it, do you? Brian takes his time, toss it up there, gets it. Good thing.

Strong pitch. And the catch for the six. Strong pitch. These games move pretty quickly. Yeah, here it is. Thank you. They have just enough cameras where they can have it. He's going back through the house with the ball.

He's taking his time. Grab that ball. Somebody might want to go check on him if he's not back here in a couple of seconds. He comes back through the front door. Oh my god. Now his ball is a little slick here, so we'll see if that has any effect on him in his throw.

Is there a pool back there? A towel. How old are these guys? I don't know. This is something I would have done when I was like 16. They probably did it their whole life. I didn't know. This is something I would have done when I was like 16 or something. They probably did it their whole life. I didn't either.

I think they have videos on this channel that go back to the year 2000. So if he catches the ball before he hits the ground here, does that count as a catch? When the ball comes to rest, that's when the play is over. Oh, a bush. If he had kept it moving through that bush, things would have worked out. Oh. He gets zero and Michael gets zero. Wow, they've kind of fallen off.

They're getting sloppy. That's where the conditioning comes into play. Just two rounds left here and it's Brian with the nine point lead over Michael. Casey's ten points back. Just short of the ping, but he does get the catch for the one point. 20 rounds, TJ?

Casey needs a big one here to get back into it. And then it's bracket, so one player moves on for bracket, and then there's wild cards. Wait, wait, make the catch. You should poke your hands. I think we're just going to watch this. I would watch it. 12-hour stream coming up.

Hi, just please don't say 12-hour stream again. It gets everyone angry. They'll be making promises. We've owed the Yak listeners a 12-hour stream for six months. It looks like he's secured himself a spot in the second round. We're going to get to it. We're going to get to it. We're going to camp out in my yard.

Yeah. 12-hour stream in your yard with a hibachi chef. Almost down the river. Ronan, I ran. He's got 37. Brian needs a big one here. Just missed the multiplier. Oh, Brian.

Lay out for that. So a strong start. Oh. And then goes Oprah in the last four there. Wow. So we finish up with the totals. Michael's at 31. Casey's at 37.

And Brian takes it at 47. Hey, come back. That's Campbell's 31st 30-point game in how many games? 35? Yeah. He's good. He's consistent. Damn.

East. There you go. All right. All right. All right. Poor Frank not getting to go to Disney That's today isn't it Or tomorrow I think Bullshit

It's crazy that Dave and Kevin both said That they didn't know Frank was a Star Wars guy A Star Wars guy in the office I didn't know he was a Star Wars guy I don't know I know a lot about him. He worked at a court with the Darth Vader

mask on. Imagine getting arraigned for a crime and going to prison and Frank's just chuckling in his Darth Vader mask. Frank being the last guy you see before you're locked up for life. What a visual. We get sent to the Sarlacc pit.

Another life sentence. Another electric chair. See ya. Singing you off. All right, now we gotta go to this meeting. You guys finishing? Yeah. Wrap it up.

See you everyone tomorrow. Are we doing ML Cake tomorrow? Thursday. Thursday. Thursday ML Cake. Fuck. See you everyone tomorrow. Outro Music