The Yak - The Orioles Swing By to Take on the Gauntlet | The Yak 5-24-24

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

GunnarYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, it's the Yak. We're live. Friday before Memorial Day weekend. Yes. Lowback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code Yak, 20% off your first purchase.

Cues us polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. What are you wearing right now? Steven's wearing flip-flops You look like you're coming from an AAU tournament That you didn't play any minutes I No minutes You played no minutes

But you want You want the boys to think That you're part of the team And he went to watch Rod Waverly Yeah Che's handsome and good at things Yeah And he's eating a donut

Oh he's confident Yeah Promo code yak Roback.com Use it right now Handsome and good at things. Yeah. And he's eating a donut. Oh, he's confident today, too. Promo code YAK. Rowback.com. Use it right now. 20% off your first purchase. We have the Baltimore Orioles in the office right now. The league-leading Baltimore.

The league-leading Baltimore Orioles. Is that true? I just said that. I don't think it's true. No, the Phillies are. Only been swept once. Cardinals got them. VP of Expedia is a huge fan of the Orioles. That's right. Yeah. That's right. One of the higheries are. Only been swept once. Cardinals got them. VP of Expedia is a huge fan of the Orioles. That's right.

That's right. One of the higher ups. Going back to work at Expedia tomorrow. Patty Bow. Yeah. Alright, so should we, because I don't want to hold them for a long time, so I think we're going to start with the gauntlet today. Yeah, might as well. Kyle, which ones are which? Gunner Henderson's

going to do the gauntlet. I don't know their faces. I think I know which one Gunner is. Should we pull them in? Yeah. A couple of them. Put them in here. Spider. Spider, come here.

Come here. We just say, introduce yourselves, fellas. Spider knows. For the people that don't know. For the people that don't know. Yeah. Because we can. They give us a fun fact.

Because I love sports. Backwards hack, guys. Gunner's one of them. Yep. And the other? I think it's Colton Couser. That's Colton? Yeah, I believe that's Colton. The other guy is one of them. Yep. And the other? I think it's Colton Couser. That's Colton? Yeah, I believe that's Colton.

The other guy is Kyle Stauer. And then that's the intern Luke being a terrorist. He's terrorizing them. Tell Colton and Gunner to come in. Yeah, is Luke too much of a talker? Yes. He's a chatty, chatty, chatty, chatty guy. Yeah, so what do we do with that?

Is it kind of like you just average out the Blutmans and it's okay? No. I don't know. What could he possibly be saying right now? Liam Blutman is not a talker. He is. He is. He is.

He is. He's an extroverted family. All right, so we got Colton and we only have two. We have three seats. Where do you want me? You come on in. Come on in. Colton.

Welcome Orioles. What's up, boys? Gunner. Kyle. Fellas. Gunner. I'll hop Orioles. What's up, boys? Gunner. Kyle. Fellas. Gunner. I'll hop up and sit back there because I don't know sports. Come on in.

Come on in, boys. Yeah, yeah. Come on in. Sit down. We were just about to play Kate's Fart. Sit right there. So the Orioles are here. How you guys doing?

What's up, boys? Do you guys lead the league in most Gen Z-er names? We have a Colton. We have a Gunner. We have a Jackson Holiday. Yeah. You guys, your parents are all just like, let's do the weirdest names, huh? You weren't around when the towers fell.

No, definitely not. 98. Whoa. Congrats. Congrats, man. Oh, you were old enough to like cry it feels yeah wait yeah you're 2000 so you didn't shed a tear yeah you i'm 01 wait what month june say who you guys are for uh the people at home your position i am gunner henderson that's gunner henderson short stop of course oh you gotta say your favorite meal, too, like Little League World Series.

Do that. My favorite meal? Yeah. And porn star you'd like to fuck. Celebrity crush. We'll go with steak and potatoes. That's my favorite. Okay.

That's so alibaba. Dude, you are crazy. You're a cancer, aren't you? I wouldn't think so. No, no, no, no. Not like locker room. Star sign. You're a star sign.

Star sign. Sign like Aquarius, Cap, no, not like locker room. Star sign. You're a star sign. Sign like Aquarius, Capricorn, Cancer. Astrology. They don't believe in astrology and Selma Bama. Yeah, I have no idea what I am. Okay. All right. That's probably cool.

Oh, you embarrassed yourself in front of Gunner, dude. I did. My bad. No, no, go for it. Colton Couser, outfield um i like a nice chicken parm okay nice yeah kyle stowers also an outfielder mexican food okay yeah you must be from oh el cajon yeah the box yeah i'm surprised you pronounced it right well he's kyle too yeah there we go kyle there we go yeah Nice to meet you. Yeah. Thank you.

Jordan Westberg, infielder. Okay. Steakfritz, probably. Oh, nice. And did you guys see, I don't know if anyone else saw, but Gunner was part of a very controversial ending last night. Mm-hmm. He struggled.

Really good baseball player. He struggles walking around guys, I guess, is what the call was. That's what I portrayed it as. Yeah. A game ended with an infield fly and then also a call out. Interference. Yeah, interference that was not interference whatsoever. At all.

Yeah. But, hey, it's 162 games. That's right. Sometimes things go your way. Long season. Gunnar, I have a question for you. Yes, sir. I'm a shortstop. Okay. Softball, mennar, I have a question for you. Yes, sir. I'm a shortstop.

Okay. Softball, men's league. One shortstop to another. Perfect. Ball smoked at you at short. How do you not be a pussy and just stay down on the ball? Great question. You just got to channel your inner Happy Gilmore and wear it, you know,

like in the cage scene. Yeah. Yeah. Just wear it right off the chest. Just wear it. The biggest fear is getting hit in the face, obviously. Have you ever even been hit in the face cage scene? Yeah. Yeah. Just wear it right off the chest. Just wear it. The biggest fear is getting hit in the face, obviously. Have you ever even been hit in the face? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, you deserve to be scared. Yeah. You need to be hit in the face. But I'm still good. You don't wear a cup, do you? No. Maybe you should wear a cup.

Do you wear a cup? I don't. No. Guys don't wear cups. That's my boy right there. When did you stop wearing a cup? You stopped wearing a cup like Little League, right? First basemans will wear them.

Yeah? Yeah. And catchers. Catchers. Well, catchers. Gives you a little bit more incentive to have good hands yeah that's true did you think about wearing a cup when like they debuted the new pants and they would just see every nook and cranny oh yeah i saw all your yeah wait we saw your white pants we'd probably see oh yeah kyle that's how i recognized yeah wait a minute i've seen your fucking clock. You're uncut Kyle. Kyle, yeah. Uncut Kyle. Yeah. Cali, yeah.

And that's cut Kyle right there. Yeah. Yeah, wait. When you guys put those on, were you like, hey, there's my dick and balls? It's pretty crazy. Yeah. All right. So who wants to do – are all of you going to do the gauntlet or just you, Gunnar?

I've been nominated. I wouldn't – I mean, at least get Kowalser in there and make him do something. I'll try, but the basketball is going to do the gauntlet or just you, Gunnar? I've been nominated. I wouldn't. I mean, at least the cows are in there. Make him do something. I'll try, but the basketball is going to be tough. Who cares? Jeff D. Lowe took 75 shots. Yeah, but he's a movie critic. These guys are professional athletes.

Wait, who's the Mississippi State guy? You, Jordan? Yeah, me. Brandon's not here. He's out of office. Yeah. Went fishing. He went fishing.

I thought he might be at the SEC tournament, and then I heard he was fishing. A little disappointed he's not rooting for the Bulldogs, man. He's a little bit of a fair weather fan, they say. Yeah. Aren't they pretty good this year, though? I think they're getting hot. Yeah. Yeah.

Where did you guys play college ball? High school. High school, straight to pros? He went to – Sam Houston State. Sam Houston State. Okay. Do you know where –

He went to? No. Which one? Kyle. You want to guess kyle um is it a christian school nope it's in california it's in california uh i don't know stanford oh smarty um i was talking about high school oh did you go to high school? That was a Christian school, yeah.

Christian high school. It's literally called Christian High School. Yeah. I lose interest after high school. Boys, come on. I walked in on it, though. Was Stanford hard? Harder to get in than it was there.

But I did communication, so. Oh, nice. Yeah, joke of a degree. I mean, it is. You can say that to a Major League Baseball player. I'm assuming you're not using, nice. Yeah, joke of a degree. I mean, it is. You can say that to a Major League Baseball player. I'm assuming you're not using your degree. It was always baseball. Yeah, right.

That's okay to say. That would suck if you were, like, struggling and finding a job. It was, like, joke of a degree. Yeah, we're doing okay. Yeah, you're doing good. What's a communications class like? I did more, like, media. And so it wasn't, like, public speaking.

It was more, like, social media and stuff like that't like public speaking it was more like social media and stuff like that that's hardly communicating at all yeah yeah well yeah i got a question for you guys um and this you know it's kind of a shitty question but i feel like i can say this because i bet on you guys to win the world series last year um what did you guys say in the locker room after so the orioles had an incredible year last year they did not get swept a single regular season series and then they got swept in the postseason we like fuck this we should this was supposed to happen yeah we should have gotten this out of our system earlier it definitely wasn't ideal going into the all right that's i can i can deal with that answer like i said it was a shitty question i was rooting for you guys hard for For personal reasons, aren't we? Well, no, because I actually bet on them the year before as well

because you guys are like a very fun young team, and you have like a bunch of guys that all came up together, and it was like the Orioles are a lot of fun, and our guy RDT, who's a big Orioles fan, he kept on telling me this team is good, this team is good, and I was like, I'm in. I'm in for the ride. So maybe I'll jump back in this year.

Let's do it. Yeah. Let's do it. All. Let's do it. All right, so who wants to go first? Shoot, I'll lead it off. All right. He's already our leadoff hitter. Do you need someone to go to show you?

We could do that. Yeah, a little run through? Yeah, we could do that. Yeah, let me see somebody get a run through. All right, TJ, you want to spin it and have someone do a run through? Shit. What's that, Steven? What about the commish?

Oh, yeah, we could show them the video. Oh, commish. Commish. Commish do the gauntlet for us? Oh, yeah. Wait, who's in the league? Are you guys in the league? No, we're not cool enough.

Oh, okay. He knows nothing about baseball. Nothing. Come on. Like, when he got in that group chat with, like, Mike Trout, he's like, oh, Mike Trout the Eagles fan. Like, he doesn't know anything about baseball. He's like, oh, Mike Trout, he knows a lot about, like, weather. Like, when he got in that group chat with, like, Mike Trout, he's like, oh, Mike Trout, the Eagles fan. Like, he doesn't know anything about baseball. He's like, oh, Mike Trout, he knows a lot about, like, weather.

Yeah, right. He's just. You'll just text him not knowing that you're texting Mike Trout. You don't treat it like you should. No, I'm no friends now. You're friends now. You're friends. I texted him a couple weeks ago.

What'd you text him a couple weeks ago? I found out he was hurt. I asked him if he was okay. What did you say? Oh, no. What did you say? a couple weeks ago? I found out he was hurt. I asked him if he was okay. What did you say? What did he say? He texted him about Shohei Otani Day.

Being like, hey, I heard you're hurt. Are you okay? Are you okay? Yeah, and text him when he hit 10 home runs in April. Yeah, right. I did not follow at all. He tweeted about it. So it came across my Twitter feed.

And I texted it to him. I said, damn. I said, bro, I'm glad to hear you're okay. Good luck with the rehab. He said, thanks, bro. Wait, you sent him his own tweet? No, I said, I started with, bro, glad to hear you're okay. Good luck with the rehab.

I said, thanks, bro. I sent him a tweet. I said, what's your official diagnosis? You sent him his tweet? I did. You were trying to get him to follow you. Mike Truffle. Taste yourself. tweet i said what's your official diagnosis you sent him his tweet i did you were trying to get him to follow you you know mike truff oh yeah taste yourself yeah yeah they're friends and he said torment us gets back in four weeks hopefully um i said you made it back to the play i said yeah oh i'm sure he loved this combo it was good steven shabian like imbeed yeah got lucky didn't tear it

all away i said keep up the conditioning you'll be alright Oh god That means a lot Text him right now You texted Mike Trout keep up the conditioning I wasn't planning on it Oh my god Now I will

Dude I'm drunk in Mexico Got diarrhea in the pool Keep up the conditioning Dude I'm drunk in Mexico Got diarrhea in the pool Oh shit Keep up the conditioning Mike Trout's just sitting there Like bummed out He's injured And Stephen Chay's like

You got this buddy There's a chance Hey good to have people In your corner you know Yeah I guess I guess Alright it's TJ You wanna spin the wheel

And see who's gonna go do A time trial Show these guys? Goalie's ready. Yeah, he's got a flight at two. He came in just to try to fuck you guys. Okay, please. Let's go, Nick.

Let's go, Nick. Let's go, Nick. Let's go, Nick. He's one of our best. Nick hasn't gone in a while. All right, so yeah, it's cornhole, soccer shot. You have to shoot those three. Once you shoot those three, obviously if you get one, you go to the next. But once you shoot those three Once you shoot those three Obviously if you get one you go to the next

But once you shoot those three you can score from anywhere Okay Wiffle ball, should be able to do that You'd think I would hope so I'm actually more nervous about that Can't hit the ceiling So I would say for wiffle ball

A soft swing is the best way Because you just got to get it over this studio Football throw against the body armor bottles, and you have to get your own rebound on those. Three-pointer, three-pointer, and then you sit down and do Sporkle. And Sporkle, you'll see when Nick does it, you'll have a better understanding of Sporkle. You just have to get ten of the questions right.

You can jump around to any category. You just yell them out. All right, Nick, you ready? Hey, Nick, no pressure at all three two one go okay oh see all you gotta do is get one nick show them how to get one there it is oh there we go oh look at come on nick you get che look at that referee yeah oh oh oh oh it's kind of a far shot yeah but then you score from anywhere, and he's a real dick of a goalie. Yeah, he's a pain in the ass. Oh, here we go.

Oh. That was it. Oh, now he's chasing. Empty header. Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Move, move. Cook him.

Cook him. Yep, get him. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Nick's actually good at baseball. Oh, you soft toss it yourself. Yeah, he soft tosses. You guys will be fine.

Yeah, you guys will be fine. I'm sure. You think. I haven't done that since I was a kid. You'll trust me. Spencer Torkelson hit a ball that's still moving. There we go. Oh, he's going to see it.

Oh, no. Yeah, so this part is the tricky part. It's deceptive. Football is. Because it's low. Yeah. Steven, the commish, he has a strategy. Oh, Nick has a strategy.

Oh, wow. Nick, great time. He has a strategy where he goes on one knee for the football throw. Oh. The bank is not open. Ah. Yeah, this is going to be the hard one for me. Come on, Nick.

Nice. Nice. Hey. Cal, you should just dunk it. Can I just dunk it? Just dunk it. If you can dunk from the three-point line, yeah. Oh. Yeah.

That would be incredible. Did any of you play basketball? I think I'd be doing the wrong sport if I could do that. Played in high school? Yeah, so you got a shot. Jumper's cold. Were you guys a little pissed when the... There it is. There it is.

There you go, Nicky. Great time. All right, here we go. Nice. So any of these, you just just gotta rip them all you're about cherry strawberry lemon pineapple blue raspberry raspberry strawberry lola land donald trump's kids apple baron oh metro oh he's typing today. Oh, boy. No, pineapple. What's next?

Raspberry? King's Horses. King's Men. Tight ends over 8,000 career receptions. Gates. There we go. Balloon. Kelsey.

Gronkowski. Three more. Two more. Oh, yeah. Most common types Balloon. Kelsey. Gronkowski. Three more. Two more. Oh, yeah. Most common types of balloons. Gonzalez. Oh, yeah. There it is.

One more. There it is. Rubber. Rubber. Oh. Plastic. No. Oil.

Yeah. All right. Good time. Good time. Great time. Good time. Great time. Incredible time. Will any of these guys beat that time? I don't know. That was pretty good.

That was great. High standard. Worst time has to give their number to Stephen Che. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He can text you anytime he wants. Who's the fastest so far?

Good question, boys. Oh, wow. Just an unbelievable time that might not be beat. Unreal. Who's the fastest so far? Good question boys Oh wow Just an unbelievable time that might not be Unreal It was a perfect run Like I hit everything first time And I had a pretty easy Sporkle

You can get sporkles where they're like Name the four AFC West teams And you're just like alright Chiefs, Chargers, you know, you just rip them off. Yeah, not great on divisions in football for me. One of you guys will leave here just distraught.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a loser. And we'll be watching if you go in a slump after, that will be a, yeah, gauntlet slump. Or what about vice versa? True, true. Could be. Yeah, we'll take some credit for it if you start hitting the ball. Who's hitting the best right now out of the four of you?

Gunner? Gunner. How many dingers you got? Atta boy. 16. Woo! My God. Shit.

Does it ever get old? No. Yeah, that's like the one thing. That guy's unreal. Yeah. Yeah. Just dingers never get old, huh? The feeling.

Off the bat. Off the bat, yeah. It's got to be so awesome. The day you get tired of dingers, is that the day you hang them up? Probably, yeah. If you go one for four with a dinger, that's okay, right? Yeah, great day. Is this an instantaneous I know it's a home run?

Those are the best feeling, yeah. But that could happen. But when you miss hit one and it goes out, that's up there too. Yeah. Are you bat flipping heavy? No. His walks. On the walks?

Every time he walks, it's just an angry walk. He feels disrespected when he gets walked. Oh, could one of you do that for us tonight if you walk? Can you respect 90 and sprint as fast as you can? Yeah. Just for us. Just fucking, yeah. Oh, man.

Just take seconds. Yeah. When someone gets hit by a pitch and they sprint down the line, it's nothing better. We had a guy we played with named Brett Cumberland who would do that. That's a good baseball name. That's great. Brett Cumberland, yeah.

Cumbie? Shout out Cumbie. Yeah, here it is. Oh, that's. Oh, yeah, Here it is. Oh, that's. Oh, yeah, you're pissed. Oh, my God. He's so angry. Oh, that's awesome.

I love it. Love it. There we go. Oh, he wasn't happy about that one. The ones yesterday were good. Yeah. He's pissed off Three walk day yesterday

I liked it It was three in a row So the bat tosses progressively got further If they would have had a fourth They would have gone in the dugout The next one Are they pitching around you now? No

Fouled off some So Yeah Alright dumb question Baseball question How long So if you have a day off How much of the game

Would you say you just zone out? Day off after? Yeah like if you have a day off how much of the game do you would you say you just zone out day off after yeah like if you're sitting in the bullpen or sorry if you're sitting on the bench you have you have a day off like yours healthy scratch you're in the dugout how much of the game are you just like oh fuck i didn't even realize i wasn't paying attention well um go ahead and say it you haven't had one you haven't had a day off okay last year there was a lot of experiences and you really don't because you can come in at any point okay yeah i might be better suited to answer so do you zone out ever um there's there's sometimes where you do but by the fourth or fifth inning it's you know yeah you're locked back in i always assumed it

would be like you know like that when you're like driving on the highway late at night and you're like oh shit i haven't been thinking for the last hour. How did I get here? Yeah, right. That's how I would be in the dugout. You guys do any tricks in the dugout? Do the gum on the head or anything? Light someone on fire?

Pranks, maybe. Light someone on fire. That would be pretty good. Yeah. Homo eroticism. Yeah. Gotta be. I know one of the pictures is to say's like a pair of shoes like this.

They're really dirty, but they have like the holes in the top of the shoe. They'll slowly just start progressing and putting water, like pouring water in it. So like not enough where they notice right away. Right. But eventually, like two innings later, they're like, why is my sock wet? Yeah, why am I soaking wet? That's some pure reason. Yeah, and so I know a couple of the pitchers do that.

I like that. Just guys being dudes. Oh, yeah. All right, who wants to go first, Colton or Gunnar? I'm going to eat you. All right, Colton, you're up. Let's go. Let's go, Colton.

Let's go, Colton. Let's go, Colton. I'm nervous. I'm also sweating. Good, you'll be sweating more after this. You got this. You're just getting activated for the game. Just don't freak out, especially when you don't hit the bag for a long time.

Oh, the bag's not my problem. Oh, the bag's not my problem. Oh, the bag's not my problem. Oh. There we go. Lots of death sentence, dude. The trivia's going to be his problem. Not great. He probably won't make the first one, though.

Who do we have in here that didn't know what a vowel was? Tork. Was it Tork? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that was not his fault because he didn't go to college. Yeah.

And then the other guy. That's a college material. Yeah. The other guy couldn't name the largest jungle cat that was not his fault because he didn't go to college. Yeah. And then the other guy. That's a college material. Yeah. The other guy couldn't name the largest jungle cat. That was on the Tigers. That's right. That was Foley. Yeah.

We'll see what we get from this bunch. All right. You ready, Colton? Oh, yeah. These brainiacs, Kyle. All right. Here we go. Can't wait to see a soccer kick.

Three, two, one, go. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, it's over. Get at the hand. Oh. Oh. He's good. Go, go, go.

I tried to do the slow roll, and it just went off my foot. Oh. That was actually kind of nice. That was cheeky. Oh, no. Watch out, Wando. There it is. There it is.

Demolished. That was sick. That was a good maneuver. That was sick. Soft swing. Soft swing. Oh, no. Damn.

I think it's got to be a one-hander. Good take. Oh. Nick, show them how to do it. Hit the ceiling. Hit the ceiling. Now it's headed the other way. There it is.

Good. Does he know how to play baseball? No. Oh, no. Go on. Does he know how to play baseball? No. Oh, no. Got to reset him. There you go, Steven. Aim lower. No, can't go off the bat.

Colton knows. Gunny, first kick on the soccer one, send a message. You have to. Send a message. Hurt him. Hurt that man. Hey, so Ryan Mountcastle didn't come today. Is he done being dizzy?

I had him on my Dingers Only League, and the guy had vertigo for like forever last year. Is he done? Shout out to Mountie. He has overcome the vertigo. Okay, nice. It was just like I kept on getting the updates. Oh. There we go.

It was close to being not dizzy anymore. Vertigo is one of those things that I laugh at. If I had it, I'd probably be the biggest bitch in the world about it. What is it? You get dizzy, I think. Not how you behave. Dizzy. Yeah, right.

I would be a bitch. Yeah. Can we talk about how many clanks he's had? Yeah. Miss him. There it is. Oh, there we go. That's cash.

Good time. All right, there we go. That was cash. Good time. All right. Here we go. Seven states with two MLB teams. That should be easy. Talk in the mic. Talk in the mic. Illinois.

Illinois, California, Texas, Florida, New York. Dude, you're slow today. Oh, it might be exactly two. It's exactly two. Oh, it's california so yeah you're good yep texas you got we'll go providence's uh ottawa oh shit uh toronto is toronto a province no as a city five forms of kinetic energy do Do the fast food ones. Potential. Static. Where can you buy Baconator?

Five non-number Uno cards. Plus four. Plus four rainbow. Reverse. Reverse. Plus two. I mean, that's got to be ten, right? Yeah.

No, none of these are counting. Are you kidding me? Baconator. I know. I thought he'd be ten, right? Yeah, no, none of these are counting. Are you kidding me? Bacon-ated. I know. I thought he'd be a ten. Get the fast food, dude. How am I not? Blizzard.

Where's the Blizzard? Wild, draw four. Wild in general. He's really got up on Uno. Draw two, all right. We played Uno in the locker room during the delay the other day. Filet-O-Fish. Reverse, and then we're going to do Skip.

You're being stubborn. Blizzard. You're being stubborn. Blizzard. You need one more. Live action. Blizzard. Where's the Blizzard from? Where's the Blizzard at? Oh, Dairy Queen.

Yeah. There we go. There we go. Time. Nice. Great time. That was a good time. It was not a great time.

That was a good time. That's a great time. I fired off 10 way quicker than that. Yeah. You just were so caught up on Uno. Because we played Uno during the delay the other day for like two hours. I loved your confidence going to the provinces and just going 0 for 2. Yeah, just going cities.

You're like, I'm going Canada. Ottawa, Toronto. I'm not from Canada. I know. That's why I was like, why are you doing that? So I got 313 total. Yeah, that's not bad. That's not great.

No, it's not bad. It's about that. How long did it take me out there? It was quick. Maybe a minute and a half. Yeah, it was very good. Very good. Soccer was awesome. Yeah, my mom played soccer.

There we go. She's an All-American. Where's he at all time? Who's he above? Oh, my goodness. No, no, no. You're good. You're good.

I beat Billy, right? Yeah, yeah. You definitely beat billy i don't know if i did i don't think no i'm last oh my goodness oh no no no oh there's more oh okay i feel way better there's a lot more oh yeah i thought i was last in general anything in three you beat julian edelman okay there we go cam newton so where am i at uh you're page two page two that's not bad yeah anything not bad. Yeah, anything under- No, I'm page one.

Page one, boy. Nice. Anything under four is good. Okay. Anything under three is like now you're in the elite status. We should start going by pages. Like page one, boy. Page two.

Yeah. You could bounce him off page one. Honestly, I had a tough angle to read the screen to. Well, you could bounce him. Great. It's all right. I should have done fast food off rip. I don't know why I didn't do that.

Yeah. Me neither. I'm a big fast food guy. I'm trying to help you. I kept saying Baconator. I should have done fast food off rip. I don't know why I didn't do that. Yeah. I'm a big fast food guy. I'm trying to help you. I kept saying Baconator. I was doing my best. What were the categories? You just wanted to go provinces even though you don't know any of them.

I like that. I like that a lot. So confident. Fuck it, maybe. Ottawa, Toronto. He's not from Canada. I don't think he ever knew that. When he said that, I thought he was from Canada.

You would have crushed that that's literally right up your alley too that would have been a two minute time also I didn't know the official names for the Uno cards yeah no that sucked but I knew them all alright you got her? let's do it

get yourself comfortable I don't know where I put mine oh mine's over there. Yeah, it's fine. Gunner, take that hoodie off. You're going to need to. You're way less winded than I was. Yeah.

Who guessed? I like that half volley shot, though. I think that was the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. I don't want to say it when you're sitting here, because he's already an awesome baseball player, but Gunner's got to be the coolest name ever. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, but I don't want to say it when he's sitting here because he's already like an awesome baseball player, but Gunner's got to be the coolest name ever. Ever. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, but I don't want to get him too big.

In our spring training house, we had cornhole just set up in the middle of the living room, and he's going to probably make this on his first shot. Oh, shit. He's not used to this distance, though, so I'm curious. Go ahead. All right, I'll say three, two, one, go. You ready? All right, here we go

three two one go oh oh oh oh don't panic don't panic don't panic come on short don't panic so much there we go there it is soccer send a message Going one-handed all right stay through the ball work down There we go you're close with the hand the hand. Yeah. You're so close. Should we bring out the tee? Also, Steven, I hit one. Oh, shit. He's going to have a good stroke here.

Oh, shit. Let's go, Gunn. He didn't go to college. No. He's from Selma. Oh, it's going. He's got a go to college. No. Yeah. No time. He's in Alabama. He's from Selma. Selma, Alabama. Oh, come on. Let's go. Let's go. He's got a lot to play.

It's game time. Here we go. All right. What do we got? Longest tenured. Belichick's got to be in there, right? Blink-182. I don't know any albums.

Belly, B-E-L-I, Chick. I feel like 14's probably a good weight for bowling ball. It stays with the longest coastline. These are tough. This is a tough one. Ocean tough. Oh, you got it? Where's, I'm not going to give you hints.

Yeah, longest coastlines. I mean, just name states. Big states. California. Yeah. Florida. There you go. Oh, you got double.

Double. Let's go. Cook. There we go. Double. Texas, maybe? There you go. Oh, you got double. Double. Let's go. There we go. Double. Texas, maybe? There you go. Yeah. There you go.

Yeah. Rudge. Oregon? You literally just said you weren't going to give him a hit. Yeah, but I want him to do good. Yeah. Let's try 12 pounds. Okay.

No. Highs? Let's go to New York, maybe. No. Oh, that's countries. Leading scorer for the Jazz. Leading scorer. Is that Pistol Pete?

Jazz? I think it might be the guy that's. Problematic guy? Problematic. Oh, the rapist. 90s. 90s guy. This is tough. This is tough.

Yeah, this is tough. Just think of good movies. Top 13 rated movies. Classics. Yeah, just name classic movies. Or rattle off. Like the most highly acclaimed movies ever. Or depressing countries.

Suicide rates, yeah. Japan? Probably. Love it. China? What's the best movies? I don't know Just name some of the best movies Of what?

Like criminal? Anything, any movie Shawshank Redemption There we go Good answer Oh, okay, down here Yeah, yeah, yeah All time

Oh, he didn't have that? Goodfellas Goodfellas There Goodfellas. There we go. Good answer. There it is. Like Hangover? Yeah.

Yeah. He does have it high. No. The test you need to pass to get to law school. Get into law school. Bar. That's that. It's like an into it.

A formal name. Jeez. This is a tough one. This is a really hard one. Who's the most famous Chicago criminal? Most famous mobster ever. Yeah. Acapulco.

Yeah, there we go. There we go. Okay. Oh, goodness. We need two more. Depressing countries. Nuggets leading scorer. Pistons leading scorer.

Oh, think biggest U.S. state. Yeah, think more states. Do more states. Cold as ice. Think of Spurs. You got screwed, man. Or not. Close. Close. Alaska.S. state. Yeah, think more states. Do more states. Cold as ice. Think of Spurs. You got screwed, man. Or not. Close.

Close. Alaska. Yes. Hawaii. Yep. Is that a long question? There we go. Aye-aye.

Aye-aye. Time. 45. I want to... TJ, what time was he when he got in here? I want to give him a different sporkle. It was under a minute. That was the hardest sporkle we've ever seen.

It was 58? Let's give him another sporkle. Run it back. A redemption sporkle. Yeah. I just want to give him a different sporkle. It was under a minute. That was the hardest sporkle we've ever seen. It was 58? Let's give him another sporkle. Run it back. A redemption sporkle. Yeah. I just want to see. Do I need to make the basketball shot? No, no, no.

That was a bullshit sporkle. Yeah, you got fucked. No, I mean, it won't count. I just want to give him a chance. I want him to go out on a good. His official time is 345. Mine was easy. Yeah.

Compared to that. And I shit the bed. Am I allowed to cuss on it? Yeah, you can say fuck, fuck shit, pussy, vagina, pussy, vagina, all the pain. I'm going to stay away from that. Giant cunt.

Alright, go. Currencies. Jeff Hardy. I know that's one of them um drums guitar here we go microphone i guess that's not an instrument but count it does count um forgetting food groups five food groups five food groups according to usa USA. Meats, vegetables. Here we go. Let's go. Throw over 250 interceptions.

I mean, shoot. We'll throw Brady since he played so long, maybe? Yep, yep. Oh, no. Really? That's impressive. That's crazy. Very impressive. Think of those guys, though, that played a long time.

Four-sided shape. Square. Nice. Cook. Oh, really? That's impressive. That's crazy. Very impressive. Think of those guys, though, that played a long time. Four-sided shape. Square. Nice. Cook. Oh, shit. What? I lied to you. Is that?

Oh. Pentagon. Oh, octagon's eight. Yep. Hexagon, is that ten? TJ's struggling today, spelling. Hexagon's six. Mm-hmm.

Decagon, I think that's spelling. Hexagon 6. Decagon. I think that's 10. Nice. Decagon. Yep. Two, four. More. Food group.

Vegetable and... Protein, vegetables. Counterpart of... All right, so your time was pretty much... Yeah. What's the... Carbs. Currency in UK. Carbs. Huh? Counterpart of it. All right, so your time was pretty much... Yeah. What's the currency in UK? Carbs.

Currency in UK. Who would know that? I have no idea. Look at the charade. Look at the charade. Fruit? Yeah. There we go. Dude, did he just look at you and call you that?

All right, so we'll put your 345 up, but that was... You did get a very hard sporkle. You got five. I mean, that was insane on the court. So I beat you. Yeah. You did. You did.

So you have to give your number to Stephen Che. Okay. That's a nightmare. So are you going to go? Yeah, do you guys want to go? Yeah. All right, let's do it. There we go.

Oh. Stanford Education is going to come out too. Oh, yeah. Doing it for all Kyles. Kyle. Start here. Oh, yeah. Doing it for all Kyle's. Kyle. Start here? Yeah, yeah. Now I.

Wait, we have a goalie? Oh. Oh, should the goalie leave? I'll get a goal. All right, yeah, get a goal. You had a fight. Wait, time out. Now there's going to be an asterisk.

Yeah, there's a little bit of an asterisk. Yeah. You better get that, boy. It is a small asterisk. How was there's a little bit of an asterisk. You better get that, boy. It is a small asterisk. How was that first soccer shot? Did you like that one? Yeah, you ripped that. That was awesome.

We went nuts. You ripped that. I'm not going to lie. Whenever I went, I hit one off the window. Oh, I did. I got caught. But I saw it bounce, like, right at me. So then I just kicked one right at him.

Yeah. Of course, the lefty kick goes in for me. It was impressive, too. I was up over 90. You're pretty much amphibious. That's how Connor does. Amphibious. You're amphibious.

All right. Ready, Kyle? All right. All right, Stow. Three, two, one, go. Stanford. Oh, he's going multi-bag. Stanford.

Oh. Oh. Come on, Stow, just like in the house. Are you guys just all lefties? Actually, the only thing I do is hit a baseball. Oh, he's going multi-bag. Stanford. Oh. Oh. Come on, Stout, just like in the house. Are you guys just all lefties? Actually, the only thing I do is hit a baseball. Oh, really? And I swing a golf club lefty. They didn't tailgate.

Oh, no. Yeah. They didn't tailgate. You're right, Jordan. Come on. Come on, Stout. Yeah, this is the one. Boys.

We had it in our spring training house. The leaky cauldron. We need croquet out there for you. Yeah, now I know Kyle's a professional baseball player, but have you ever given him shit for looking like a youth pastor? Hey, you can get up to the green line. Youth pastor? He could be in Righteous Gemstones right now.

Come on. Come on, Stow, get a little spin. This is a long enough scene. This is very long. Oh, this Come on. Oh, man. Come on, Stout. Get a little spin. This is very long. Oh, this is insane. Oh, we're reaching insane levels. He's regretting. Yeah, there we go. He could have easily said no.

Are you guys embarrassed of that? Oh! Holy fuck. Baseball, there we go. Business decisions. Spin on it, too. Toss it out in front of you. Uh-oh.

Toss it out in front. There we go. There it is. Football, football, football. You can still beat us. He's got a nice throw. Tell you what, Stephen takes his job serious. Very. Every job. Everything he does.

He's got that needle. It's kind of impressive. It was. Oh, no. There we go. Oh, Steven, like I said, he calls a clean game, dude. That's it. That's it.

That's it. You're good. That one hit. No. No, keep going. I don't know. Yeah, that's good. I thought it hit the side of it. That's it. That's it. You're good. That one hit. No. No, keep going. I don't know. Yeah, that's good. I thought it hit the side of it. Yeah. It looked like it.

In. In. There we go. You got screwed on your screen. I know. Yeah. You could still beat us. You could. Here we go. Alright, Stanford. Get a good angle so you can see. Eight states to start with the letter M. That's easy. Massachusetts. Michigan.

Mississippi. 30 days out of September, April, June, and November. Jennifer Aniston. Hell yeah. He's ripping. Oh, he's ripping. Go off. He's going to beat us.

Two more. Randy Moss. Jerry Rice. Time. Wow. That was quick. What a recovery. Hell yeah.

Nice. Good work. That was sick. I'm going to a recovery. Hell yeah. Nice. Good work. That was sick. I'm going to work on the cornhole. The cornhole. Yeah, that was basically a third of your entire run was cornhole. That's insane. I didn't play it at the spring training house.

You also sent a laser at the goalie. Well, did you hear me? I was saying the whole time I was going to send him a message. Send a message, yeah. Yeah. You did. You sent me a message. This is the highest a baseball player has gotten, right?

I think so. Two shots on basketball? Two shots on basketball was – Oh, Foley. Oh, Foley. Foley. Yeah, Foley was nasty. At gauntlet too.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, Jordan, are you going to go or no? Come on. Yeah. Yeah, let's go. All right, finish this off. Do it for Brandon Walker.

Yeah, do it for Brandon Walker. This is the second time I've beaten Gunner at something, so big moment. What was the first time? Golf. Oh. In Arizona. Oh, yeah, that's right. Wait, when did y'all go to Arizona?

Oh, you missed it? Yeah, I didn't get invited to that trip. Uh-oh. Hash it out, boys. No, we've already hashed it out. You want to hash it out? Hash it out. I mean, I'd rather not because whatever.

Come on, Jordan. What's the worst minor league town you've ever lived in? Lived in? Wait, can we say played in? Yeah, can we say played in? I don't want to dog one of the... I did not enjoy Scranton. Yeah, that sucks. I don't want to dog one of the... Yeah. I did not enjoy Scranton.

Yeah, that sucks. Well, one, because that's whenever all that smoke was coming from Canada. Oh. And we had like three games get... Well, it's already a dog shit city. Yeah, we couldn't do much. Hudson Valley was kind of tough. Hudson Valley's tough. The first time we went there, the hotel was brutal.

Fish Kill New York. Yeah. Yeah. It was Binghamton for me. Binghamton has how long were you in the minors uh well we had covet year so i guess playing are you waiting to go oh yeah yeah fuck all right jordan yeah he's you guys just going to keep having this combo? Might as well answer where you didn't play. All right, here we go.

Three, two, one, go. All right. Good stroke. You got a good one. Yeah, he's going to be okay. You must have tailgated him. Bang, bang. Tailgated state.

Let it rip. Ooh. There we go, Connor. Connor. Oh, we got to have a better rebound from There we go, Connor! Connor! Oh, we gotta have a better rebound from him. Oh, Connor! That's the end! He's scared!

He's a beast! He's not really scared! Oh! Oh! Get him, Connor! Ah! What a save. Holy shit.

What we might do is put in an ashtray. Oh! Oh, gross! He's just throwing a five in front of it. Here we go. Baseball! What a perfo- He wasn't even saving it. Oh, right at me. Here we go. Baseball. What a performance. He wasn't even saving it. Oh, right at me. Coming to me.

Oh, shit. There it is. Nice stroke. Oh, this is going to be good. Oh! Under a minute still. See the stroke. Bang!

Oh, my God. Represent New Braunfels, Texas, baby. Timmy D. Mississippi State. What an arch. He's got a good jumper. He's got a great winded. Getting shorter.

Come on. Bank it. Let's go. Bank it. Back of the rim. He's got a real good stroke. Oh, no. Great follow through.

Uh-oh. Oh, no. This is where it turns into a mental game. Yeah. It must be that short sleeve button down. Got to be it. Come on. Oh, no way.

Wow. There it is. Why'd you say wow like that? It's going to be good. Get in here, brother. All right, here we go. Get close. Five ML, here we go. Get close.

Five MLB teams in California. Giants, A's, Dodgers, Angels, Padres. Oh, you guys are pissed, huh? Brazil. Texas. Oh. Oh, we got to gotta throw Z in Brazil Mario

Luigi Bowser oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh God damn. That was awesome. I'm learning that it all comes down to this. Oh, yeah.

It doesn't matter how. If you get an easy sporkle, it's. Like, if you got an easy sporkle, you could have been done in a minute. Minute 10. I heard cornhole is the one that you really need. Yeah, you wouldn't have got it. What was your sporkle you got? Letters.

Yeah. Yeah, letters of the alphabet. Letters and shapes. Members of the yak. Just looked of the L. Letters and shapes. Members of the Yak. Just looked around the room. You have to answer, like, one from, like, three of them to make it really hard. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, get one from each.

Oh, I like that. That should be a rule. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, top ten. Your goalie was nice. Well, yeah. I don't know if they were saves.

You know, they were flops. They were kind of just screwing his body. I don't know if they were saves. They were flops. He kind of just threw his body. I mean, he was looking at the goalie. Yeah. He got in the way. He almost slid tackled you. Throwing his body in front of the shots. Oh, man.

Best baseball player to do the gauntlet. Yeah. Two seconds. Jordan Westford. All of them did good. Yeah. One of them would embarrass himself. Well, thank you, guys.

We appreciate you guys coming by. Thanks for letting us crowd. It was awesome. We're Orioles fans. I'm going to bet on you guys to win the World Series. No pressure. And unfortunately for you, Stephen Che will have your number so I can be like, hey, Stephen, text Gunnar.

Like, hit better. All right. Okay. All right, boys. Well, thanks so much. Yeah. Yeah, we'll see you guys thank you guys yeah thanks for having tj you want to hit that next time you're in town you can go for redemption yes yeah next time you guys are one time a day back everyone go again perfect yeah love it i agree spork will better be better yeah all right thanks guys thank you yeah tj hit the wheel kate are you guys doing a video later?

What's that? Are you doing a video with these guys later? No. No? Yeah. Oh. Hmm. Nice. There it is.

Oh, man. I'm sweating more than I anticipated this morning. Fuck. Yep. Yeah, you got to wait until they, like, start to warm up. Yeah. You got to wait. All right, let's act natural, then.

Act natural, act natural. Yeah, Kate, what did you do? You asked some of the guys to be in start to warm up. Yeah. You got to wait. All right, let's act natural, then. Act natural, act natural. Yeah, Kate, what did you do? You asked him to be in a video? Yeah, but like a one just for me. What did he say? Hug Bukkake. What did he say? He said that?

It's so weird. That entails semen. Say it again, Shay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. What you guys tell me when I should go.

I think they have to be Out of Slightly out of our sight Yeah They're migrating They're lingering Hanging out with Spider Let's wait

Let's wait till they walk Yeah let's see I'm a Phillies fan But I gotta say Great dudes Great dudes Great dudes Baseball players are the best

It's okay to say Other players are Other players Okay Anybody's okay to say other players are. Okay. Anybody who's not a Phillies, bad guy. Phillies fan, but yeah. Yeah. They were very fun. And they're good, too.

The Orioles are young and fun and good. This dude is a beast. Gunner's awesome. Yep. You can tell by his personality. A little bit, too. Him and Adley Rushman. They were all rooting for each other too And being like yeah

There's good chemistry there For not when Philly's I think you go now Let them boys leave And Colton might know See you guys Good luck soldier There they go

Yo boys Oh they hate it Oh he's gotta go four I hate this every single time He's gotta go four Two It's like a boot hockey isn't it guys Oh yeah exactly

It's like a boot hockey Big cat big cat Steven Steven Big Cat, Big Cat. What? Steven! Steven! Get Steven out of here. Steven, go give your number.

We're just going to randomly be like, Steven, my son. Out of nowhere. Get Gunner's number. He has no idea what a bad punishment this is. It's going to be a great wrinkle to this. It's going to be great just randomly just being like, oh yeah, Steven, can you text Gunner real quick?

Yeah, just for random things. We should use it to settle debates. Just like, see what Gunner thinks. The worst guy to have your... See you guys. Bye. See you guys. Great dudes. Loved those guys. See you guys. Bye. See you guys. Great dudes. Loved those guys.

Fucking great dudes. Are they hanging around? Are they golfing or anything? They've been here for like an hour. Yeah. They were hanging around. Spider was giving them a tour. Do they have a game tonight?

I think tonight. Yeah, they do. Shout out RDT. I think he's the one who set this up. Shout out RDT. Always shout out RDT. The best. Shout out RDT.

Oh, man. That was a lot of hugs. I think also, I think we need to upgrade it to kiss. I think hug is just not like, I was thinking as I was hugging him, I was like, this isn't that awkward. But if I had to say you forgot your kiss. Yeah, it depends. Sometimes it's perfect. With them, there was more rapport.

I feel like it was more natural, especially coming from you. If I went up to Greg Olson and said, you forgot your kiss. I think what we need to do is- I had to kiss Uncle Doug. The hog wheel should have one slice that's kiss. I agree. And if it hits, then you spin again to see who has the- And what do we do for the kiss?

That's cheek. Cheek, yeah. You forgot your kiss. No, no, no. We're not saying you forgot your kiss. It's a can I kiss you? Yeah, yeah. No, forget it. You forget hugs. You ask for kisses.

Can we call it little smooch? Yeah. Can I get a little smooch? Little smooch. No, let me kiss you. Yeah. Yeah, just a little peck. Hey, that was really fun. Let me kiss you. No, how about can the boy have a kiss? Oh, yeah. I like can the boy get a kiss oh yeah i like can the boy can the boy get a kiss oh that was a blast that was a blast can the boy get a kiss

oh that's gay brown style right you gotta kind of point to yourself too like can the boy get a kiss that was a blast. Can the boy get a kiss? That verbatim. That verbatim. Can the boy get a kiss? It's going to rock. Wait, what's the initialization of that? T-W-A-B-C-T-B-G-A-K. Have that. On the wheel.

Yeah. TJ, are you okay today? Why? It wasn't your best typing. You're typing like you had more than one stroke as opposed to just one. Typing is bad every time. Yeah, but today felt like it was, I don't know. Did you see what happened to him?

If we want to make a change, I'm fine. No, no, no. I guarantee you. It was worse than him. The level of play would be worse than if I typed. Booze is, remember Booze? Oh, yeah, Booze. Booze was just, that was the game in itself.

He just couldn't spell. We used to call him in just to type. Oh yeah. Well, TJ's got something going on with his hands. He was out here throwing pitches or something. Did you see it? My hand was red. His hands filled with blood. Oh, so you do have something different today. No, I'm bad at typing. Wait, what do you mean his hands are filled with blood? I've never seen anything like it.

I threw like a hundred pitches in a short period of time. So you have blood hands. What is heard no no hands were like i'm bad at typing white from the wrist up and then his hands were the color of kb's face right now like they were tj you just tell us you have blood hands that's all you have to do i'm not no one would have noted yeah you should have no but my time should have been 10 seconds shorter because you have blood hands we want to i don't want to type so yeah because you have blood hands. I don't want to type. Yeah, but blood hands, you've got to tell everyone, like, hey, I'm dealing with little blood hands.

That was so long ago. I'm not making excuses. I'm bad at typing. So there's no blood in your hands? No. You should get that checked out. That's bad, too. Standard amount.

My hands are filled with blood. They were. What the hell? I got to miss work. Old blood hands. Old blood hands. Can't come in today. I got blood hands.

Yeah. I'd love to shake your hand, but I'm- I have blood hands right now. Still with a little bout of blood hands. And trust me, you do not want that. You ever jerk off blood hands? Oh, that's- Can you do the blood hands?

Oh, I can. You can? Oh, yeah. Easy. I never could. Yeah, that hits. I hope that gets you shot. That hits. Oh, yeah, that was- Not smart, that hits I hope that gets you shot That hits

Oh yeah, that was Not smart, but hey Send me that clip Yep, don't do that Speaking of which A Yak listener Has operations of a Billboard in Oregon

And yesterday just put up All the Rico pictures No Oh, it's happening? Yeah, it was a digital billboard. And they were up? What a scene. Coach Moscow.

That's easy. Yeah. That's too much power for somebody to have. That's so much power. Bad breakup and I was in control of that thing? Forget it. That's a legend, though. I just had a girl that friendzoned me text me

Can a boy get a kiss? What? She's totally Nevermind Mook she friendzoned you or are you guys even friends? You're not even You didn't even get friendzoned Yeah not really

You'd kill for that You would love it Whatever Well that's flirting No Wait what Wait she's watching the show? Yeah she just texted me.

What did she say? Can a boy get a kiss? That's a good thing. Dance it on my head as a joke. No, no, text her. Extraordinarily flirtatious. Yes, that's flirty. Text back, yeah.

But she's not a boy. Oh my God. I'm the boy. Is it the mean hot girl from the bar the other week? Yes. I knew it. What do you mean? She's not mean.

He was with a very hot girl who had a mean aura. I'm only saying that as a no-go. You saw it? You were there? Yeah, I saw it. And they were like, I felt a heat. I thought she was at you like a laser beam. And I even said to the people around me, what the fuck is happening right now?

Is she blind? Kate. I couldn't believe it. Kate. You're going Kate. All right. Mook. Answer back.

Dude, Mook, that actually would rock. That's a flirty kit. That's a flirty text. Yeah, if you got like a 10 out of 10 girlfriend, but she was blind, that would rock. She was very, very pretty. That would be the best case scenario for my man. Like, here comes my girlfriend. She's got the cane and everything.

She's got a fucking cane. Yeah. And I'm her assistant. Yeah. And we all just gas you up and we're like, yeah, no, Luke is so hot. Yeah, you better be careful or else you're going to lose him. Yeah. Literally.

Did Rocky Dennis have a hot girlfriend? And she, like, felt his face. She felt his face and it felt like a fucking totem pole. Ruin it. hot girlfriend? And she like felt his face. She felt his face and it felt like a fucking totem pole. Ruin it. Text her back right now, dude. Yeah, that's flirting. I just said yes. She had great hair. What'd you say? I said yes.

Well, she's watching so you can like talk to her. Oh yeah, talk to her. Let's all leave. No, no, no, no, no. Give him some privacy. If you're watching right now, give him some privacy. Thanks. Hey. Don't, no, don't do this, TJ. TJ, back up.

TJ, back up right now. So, yeah, what are you doing tonight? TJ, no. No, TJ. All right. Let's see if she texted. Nope. Yeah. so No, please come back in Please come back in Did you get it off your chest? No, I said what are you doing tonight and then kind of just froze up That's it?

Yeah You were supposed to be like, this is like a romantic gesture Don't do this to me Please don't do this to me What'd she say? If you were a girl and you were watching a guy that you know on a show, and then he cleared

the room just for her so he could talk to her one-on-one, that's beautiful. Oh, forget it. That's like planting a bunch of flowers like in Big Fish. Yep. I'd be sold. I'd be sold for sure. Smokes? I blew it. I found something out

Well It went poorly Yeah terribly I never saw that Yeah Hard medium To succeed in That was the most

Awkward moment of my life Right there I've had a lot No that's There's no way that's That was the most awkward There's no way that's She wasn't

She wasn't on the other end What about the time You said that you Slept on your couch? By the way, by the way, Yak listener hit me up last night and said, Sass, he marked the episode and the time of the episode. Sass brought up that same topic, and you guys went with it. So fuck all of you.

Fuck all of you. Fuck all of you. That's got to be a commander in the militia. Yeah, but he said it differently. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. Fuck all of you. That's got to be a commander in the militia. Yeah, but he said it differently. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. Fuck all of you. Also, while I'm doing victory laps, Sketch, fuck all of you too.

Huh? Sketch. Oh, yeah, we were originally. Fuck all of you. I still don't watch his stuff. I'm taking victory laps. Oh, Sketch? Yeah, no, he blew up.

He's probably the biggest. Oh, you're right. You're 100% right. I'm taking victory laps. Oh, Sketch? Yeah, no, he blew up. He's probably the biggest. Oh, you're right. You're 100% right. You and TJ called that. I just think we're showing our age. Yeah. Well, when I met him, I liked him more. Yeah.

It was authentic. I just don't think I got him. Yeah. By the way. I owe Mook an apology for that one. Yeah. I'm sorry, Mook. That was a W.

Yeah, that was an L on our part. Thanks, Jess. Mook W. Every once in a while, I'm going to take the real life. Take it. By all means. Take it. Be even more of a dick.

Yeah, do it. Fight for yourself. Okay, I will. Yeah. Stand up for yourself. Yeah. You know what? You want to talk to the haters?

No, I don't. We can talk to the haters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you? Should I pull up chat? Should I really talk to the haters? Fuck yeah, I'm pulling up chat. Go ahead.

What's up, haters? Come here. Come to my dojo. Pulling up chat right now. Probably a bad idea. Let's see what they have to say. Let's see what they have to say. Let's see what they have to say. Suck bag.

Talk to me, Mook. Don't be a sensitive Sally. Trump doing the... Yes, talk to me, Mook. Come here. Come on, boys. I'm right here. Come here.

Fuck the haters. You troll bitches. Fuck all of you. You troll loser bitches. Does that feel good, Mook? troll bitches. Fuck all of you. You troll loser bitches. Just kidding. That feel good, Mook? Wait, one more. One more.

Oh, shit, yeah. Hey. Hey, haters. Suck my fucking dick. Oh, shoot. Oh, wow. Yeah. All right, so what I was going to say,

I learned a fun fact When we left First of all The woman who was cleaning the men's bathroom Didn't go in Shout out me She was deep in there Deep, deep, yeah

I had to push her cart So I went to the women's bathroom instead Oh, perfectly fine Going to the women's bathroom here Well, here's what I love. Oh, no. No, no, no. There's no one in there.

There's no one in there. This is going off of what you just said. There's no problem going to the women's bathroom in this office. The women's bathroom on that end... That's where we shit on the back of the seats. Okay. What I was going to say is... What do you mean by weak?

It's just storage. No. That is the epitome of this place. It's just storage. I'll go take a picture. It's just. Like bathroom storage? No, like it looks like equipment.

There's storage in there? It's just storage. Oh, my God. I mean, think about it. We definitely have more toilets for women than there are women. Yes, you could all have your own toilet. There's like six toilets in there. I might just start using that. You know what? That just might be

a double men's bathroom. Double men's? No, double men's. I think we should actually make it a double men's. Oh, easily double men's. Why not? You got the one over there. You got the one upstairs. Double men's. No, I'd like us to keep it. Sorry. Which one is the most trafficked women's bathroom? The most trafficked. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. most trafficked women's bathroom? The most trafficked. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. I didn't phrase that right. Kate, take your fucking panties off. Yeah, yeah, Kate. Which one of these is the most trafficked? Yeah. Interesting. Hmm. That's one of Barstool's biggest exports. Women?

Are women women Certainly not That is the epitome of this place That's a storage locker Sounds about right I don't like going into women's bathrooms Me either Unexplored territory, don't go there I walked in one accidentally at an airport

It was like I thought men were on one side, women were on the other, and they were both women right across the hall. I forget. It's horrible. It's embarrassing as fuck. Because as a guy, you feel like a creep. You're violating space. Drunk at concerts, women can go in the men's room

but not the other way. But I get pissed off when I'm waiting in line to piss and a girl walks out of the bathroom and especially if she's ugly yep oh yeah what yeah oh god that's a double men's that's hilarious it looks like we're about to set up uh the stage for Metallica yes yeah it's just the women's bathroom storage room no that's all my poop and stuff

storage room is that the tampon here's what I'm going to do I'm going to find you know those strips they put on roads to see like how much it's trafficked yeah roll over it does the numbers

so they can figure it out I'm going to put a strip on all the women's bathrooms and we're going to figure out which ones are used the most. Save your money. Turnstile. Oh, yeah, turnstile. Let's have an intern with a ticker. Yeah.

Oh, interns are coming in on Tuesday. That's right. I'm going to get the clickers right now. We'll sign each one. Yeah, we'll have all the three male interns will have to stand in front of the women's bathroom. Rotate. Yeah.

Do we have Goldfinger coming to this office? Yeah. Fuck yeah. The band? No, no. Sam Goldfinger. The boy. He's been an intern.

He's been a barstool viceroy since he's like 11. No way. He lied about being in college. Oh, shit. What college was he? Arizona. Yeah. All right.

Sounds about right. All right. I just Arizona. All right. Sounds about right. All right. I just bought. All right. We got the clickers. Perfect. Yeah. We'll just because then we'll just if that one's not used, it's got to be double lens.

That's I'm OK with that. I'll speak to the women privately. And then the women have to tip the clicker when they come out. Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. It's only fair. Or Kate, you can pay them off and they'd be like, yeah, her fart. women privately and then the women have to tip the clicker when they come out oh yeah sure yeah it's only fair or kate you can pay them off and they'd be like yeah her fart her shit wasn't that bad yeah or maybe it's like uh it's like adult swim hours like we're like all right women can use that from like two to two or twelve to two yeah and then clear out of the water the boys

are coming to splash around the boys are on their way nicky and they got a poop yeah smokes is by the way we have new uh so uh barstool store father's day stuff this is great stuff you have new yak dad uh hats and shirts now we can't guarantee this will get there by father's day but if you buy today there's a chance that it will. But either way, if you're a dad who watches the Yak, this is the stuff for you. So we just put this in store. Go buy it. Store.barstool.sports.com. That's fire. These are sick.

I want to wear that. These are real sick. I'm going to get that for Mr. Moon. We've got shirts. So Yak Dad. All the dads out there. Oh, I've got to get my dad a Yak Dad hat. There we go. These are great shirts Booze and smokes A tall boy

He's got the heavy Yeah Heavy So Yak Dad shirts We got given a half day What the fuck does that mean? Yeah put the blinders on No but like

What does that mean? That hasn't been going around People have been saying Half day Half day They sent us an email Saying it was a half day Yeah

Cool I just wanted to have Smokes on here Because You know Smokes is a douchebag. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Everyone knows that. Who, him?

But he does have a vibe to him today that I like because it just reminds me of being younger. He's full on, like, today's the start of summer. He's drinking a tall boy high noon tequila delicious and just like you could just tell so you're not playing ball today no hell no i'm not playing ball where are you going what are you doing city's already alive the city's lit right now city boys up oh we're up big time right now nice but i was supposed to go to this this boat party but it looks like it's gonna rain But on the website it says rain or shine. Like, we're partying.

You don't want to be on a boat in the rain, though. Yeah, you do. Absolutely you do. Really? Because then everyone's squeezed into it. It becomes a squish party. It becomes a squish party. The girls are all wet. You take your shirt off. And the boat will be out in international waters.

So you're rooting for rain. No, I'd rather it be sunny out, but'm just i'm rooting for a good time it's summertime i'm ready to get after it with the boys and starts today you want to know my prediction what you become a dad this summer i don't think that'd be the worst thing for me yeah it would be the worst thing for the child and the mother and the grandmother. I think it helped me develop as a person, though. That's not the reason you have a kid. No, you should start with a dog or a plant. Yeah, but dogs are expensive.

Get a plant. All right, I'll get a plant. I have bad news about kids. Yeah. Are they worse? Way worse? They're a little more pricey. Yeah.

Well, the food's free at first if they breastfeed, right? Is there a fee, though? Is there a medical fee? I guess you're right. Right? Kids eat free. Yeah. Well, like the food's free at first if they breastfeed, right? Is there a fee, though? Is there like a medical fee? I guess you're right. Yeah, kids eat free. Yeah, kids eat free. You're right. That's fine. Wait, Smokes, do you want to talk about what happened last night? Yeah, I might as well. Because you

called me at 10pm. I don't think you should talk. You don't think you should? Okay. You don't think so? Smokes has a new girl, and I don't think it's worth talking don't think so smokes has a new girl and i don't think it's worth talking about on the air well the new girl though is his new girl because why didn't you get i heard smokes doesn't fuck on a scale of one to ten ten being like this is serious like where are you all right so we're on our second date i took her to monteverde very nice restaurant and spent a nice chunk of money on the dinner so we go back to my house for maybe five minutes and all we did was kiss

jeez that's but i like i was confused like that doesn't happen oh my god i hate you i know but like it was just weird i don't like uh He sent me a text at 10 p.m. Say that again. Sorry, I was tweeting out the link. Is this why you called me last night? Yes, I called you and Mook. All right, say it again. All right, so I took this girl out to Monteverde.

It was our second date. Okay. Did you wear your Dolphin Starters jacket? No, I dressed up. I looked like an adult. No hat, too. No hat. Oh.

Which could throw me off like that. Oh, that's why. Take the hat off why go people what the no i don't care about the airline anymore i'm good baby i'm yeah i would still i'm going to turkey though so that's taken care of okay let me get back to this all right so i take her out the month of her day we have a great date and then we go back to my house and all we did was kiss that is like that's all i got was just like on the couch yeah and then he sent me a text at 10 p.m sos in all caps need someone to call i was freaking out someone to

call you because you kissed i didn't know if i was losing it because usually like no she just wants to play it slow yeah it's her second date that's what i told you respect her but i do respect like if anything it makes me want her more so like she's yeah that's smart by her she's playing her cards right it's just i'm not used to playing the game like usually i am the game oh god i'm throwing up in my mouth a little bit it's a very normal thing but like what if she sees this now well you're ruining everything i don't think it ruins anything no because no it lets her know that he's DTF Oh you're right She probably didn't know

She probably SOS'd her girlfriends being like This dude only kissed me Oh my god she might be No there's no way There's no shot she did that She might have actually Yeah she's been like it was so weird he never made a move After spending $250 on me, like-

Yeah. After I let him spend $250 on me. Yeah. Yeah, you did. Am I losing it? Yeah. Dude, she might be like clowning you. Yeah, she might be like, this dude, literally, I was giving him all the signs, and he-

He just kissed me. He just kissed me. Wait, you need to clear this up now. She might think you're gay. She might think you're prude. Yeah. Okay, no, you guys are doing too much now. Now you're trying to like psych me the fuck out.

She might think you have an STD. No, no. Honestly, no. No. Wait, did you have the Bible out of your bed? Yes. Oh, she probably thinks you have the Bible. Oh, we didn't go in my room.

We didn't go in my room. She might have. Yeah, I know you didn't go in your room because she probably was like, let's go in your room. And you're like, no, I don't want to. I want to kiss on this couch. Oh, I would never do that. No, honestly, you may have put off like. Yeah.

The hair. The hair is definitely. You're a kissing guy she probably wanted to and she didn't want to like push you away guy with that hair doesn't you're like a corporate kisser right by the book you're anxious yeah i'm like connor griffin now no connor's got more like oh no connor's got swag for days oh my god so should i just like pivot to like nice guy no i think you have to text her just Oh, no. Connor's got swag for days. Oh, my God. So should I just, like, pivot to, like, nice guy? No, I think you have to text her and just be like, hey, like, just want to let you know I would have fucked you.

I would have fucked. I'm not doing that. You have to. I feel like that's a disaster. No, you should do a voice memo. No, not a voice memo. I think just, like, a text and just be like, hey, like, I'm sorry if I didn't come off like I wanted you. Like, I would have absolutely had sex with you.

Yeah. All right. I'll do that later. Yeah. I don't know. Is she going to be on the boat? No. You should send her a video of you and Hank and be like, hey, you thought I was prude.

I let my boys suck my dick. Yeah. You guys see this? Oh, oh I saw yeah Hank was sucking his dick he did a great job Hank was yeah good for him yeah like he took a break wiped his mouth got back on it like he was you have the clip TJ it's an all time bad angle clip of Hank and

it was funny because like he was just sitting behind the camera crying look at this oh oh It was funny because like, Fasoli was just sitting behind the camera crying loud the whole time. Look at this. Oh. Oh, boy. God damn. Oh, that's.

Oh, and he's leaning in. Oh, he's tickling the ball. Yeah, he went in for a full good fucking form. And then later in the clip, he literally wipes his mouth. What happens in that cave that turns everyone gay? I don't know. I think we just work with a bunch of gay guys. The nature of the cave. The nature of the cave.

I think we're not gay. We just love, like, bros so much. Yeah, I love bros so much. Let me help you. Yeah. Right. Let me help you achieve this. It's the height of male friendship.

Did you tell Hank, good girl? Nah, I told him, good boy. You didn't even tap It's the height of male friendship. Did you tell Hank good girl? Yeah, I told him good boy. You didn't even tap him on the top of the head? No, a little smack on the ass on the way out. Oh, nice. There you go. He did a good job, though. Yeah.

Probably learned from the best, if I had to assume. What? He knows Nancy Reagan? Yeah, what? Who's Nancy Reagan? Oh, my God. Who is that, Kate? Nothing. Guess. Is she a porn star? Last name Reagan. So do you know Who's Nancy Reagan? Oh my god. Who is that, Kate? Guess.

Is she a porn star? Last name Reagan. So do you know any other last names? Ronald. There you go. You're close. His wife? Yeah. Gives dome? Yeah. Well, did. She's dead. She was a throat goat. Wait, what? She was the best sucking

first lady. Let me speak your language. She was a fit bird. Wait, what? She was the best sucking first lady. Let me speak your language. She was a fit bird. She was fit? Yeah. She was in Hollywood and she just sucked. Really? Yeah. Is there a video?

No. Hearsay. It's all word of mouth. There's actually like, I think reputable stories. Yeah, yeah. She was being awesome at it. Is she like better than... Who's that one president that got sucked off in office,

but he was cheating on his wife? Clinton. Clinton. Who sucked his dick? His intern. Monica Lewinsky. Is she better than her? I don't know.

It's subjective. Who would you take? Smokes, that's a good content idea. If I had to do it. You should. Oh, Rape the Dome. Rape the Dome. Yeah.

That could be my summer series. One lick. One lick. Everyone knows the rules. All right, Smokes. That would be a fun series. It's good to see you. Vibes are high.

Summer. I just wanted to catch a little of the vibe. Smokes' energy the past two weeks has been intoxicating. You have a palpable vibe around you. He's got great vibes right now. He's got great vibes. Good luck on the boat. I don't know what's going on with me that I disagree with everything he stands for and says,

and I like him a lot. Same here. It's very tough. Yep. You and him were having a moment on the way to the Laugh Factory show. Oh, yeah, yeah. We were sharing songs with each other. Yep.

You were showing him Screamo, and he was showing you big x the plug like big x the plug yeah like nikki smokes the haters on the outside will think this is ridiculous but i actually when nikki smokes was going through like whether he'd be resigned or resigned yeah he is like a very good clubhouse guy yes so he you know he's here all hours of the day he's not gonna put up stats but he's a good clubhouse guy yeah yeah he's good that's whenever i see him i'm like oh good he's here and then whenever he talks i go ah right but then i'm glad he's there his presence is good yeah it's welcomed in this office yes he has an energy good juxtaposition to make yourself feel better he started drinking at nine a.m i was sitting in my office and he was like, I'm going to crack one real quick.

I love it. He's wasted. He's a great vibe guy. I would never tell him to his face. Good brows too. Because then he'll just stop working altogether and just be the vibes guy. But he does. Is he blogging?

Yeah. And he's trying stuff too. And it's actually remarkable he can even write. Yeah. Yeah. But he does. He actually is a pretty, he's written some pretty good blogs.

Yeah, he's had some funny stuff and he gets into it. He pushes back with Dave. Yeah. Beef just texted me he's on his way to go magnet fishing with PFT. Yeah, P just texted me. He's on his way to go magnet fishing with PFT. Yeah, PFT and Jerry. Oh, you guys are running out of guns.

I want to do it so bad. I'm going to do it next time. Oh, that's when you find like medals. Yeah, they got the big. I don't even think it's for content. I think they're. No, it's not. They're just going.

They're testing it. And then I think there might be a future Jerry After Dark, which would be awesome. Shout out to the guy today. I got a huge bag of knives sent here. Oh, that's weird. A bundle of knives? About 15. All the same brand?

No, no, no. You showed me some brass knuckles that would get you arrested. Guy sent me some crazy brass knuckles. Thick and big. Go get them. I want to see them. This one's pretty cool. I got a P. I can grab them.

Yeah, go grab all of them. I want to see all of them. There's a pile in the the studio I would just do the brass knuckles the rest are are you guys starting a militia? if it feels like Anus

could start a militia and I wouldn't realize it I don't think so I don't think the boys could be weaponized I would flee the second combat has

arrived the second there's any form of uh disagreement of controversy I'm out. But that's why you formed the militia. You guys lead it.

When shit goes down, you quietly walk away. I don't have any battles to fight. Yeah, I guess you don't. Gluten? That's a losing battle. It's everywhere. It is everywhere. You ruined my weekend.

Tum-tum. Donut. Ruined my weekend. tum donut ruined my weekend donut you should probably get rid of the brass knuckles yeah they're illegal to have in illinois i didn't buy them i found that all right we'll throw them out yo it's discard them we'll throw them out by the way sam uh from tech room text me those boxes in the women's bathroom have been here longer than we have been here. What's in there? No one knows. It's what the video board came in. So that bathroom definitely is never used.

Never been used. Because women love to bitch and moan and complain. They would have. They would have said something. That's a great point. I'll be honest. I didn't know there was a bathroom. Have you ever been in that bathroom?

You never used it? Every time I start, I'm like, is there a bathroom over there? That's Double Men's. Double Men's. Double Men's. We're taking back our land. Oh, you knew it after this. That's fine.

I honestly didn't know there was one. Let's go take the sign off right now. Yeah, the Double Men's. You should get a Double Men's sign. Yeah. We're going to slowly take the spaces away from the women in the same office. What if you made that the VIP men's bathroom? There was like a membership card.

Oh, I like that. I like that. Or like whoever's doing really good in the office that month. Yeah. You have special access to it. I like that a lot. I like that too. What are you looking at me, Steven? What's that smile?

Jay, you think you're going to be a member of that bathroom? He thinks he's going to be the runner. He's going to run it. You think you're going to run it? No, I don't. What do you think? That could be a good thing for the interns to do. That could be the bouncers.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the good boy bathroom. There will be men and good boys. Yeah. Yeah, we just have the interns. One of the interns just the entire summer is just standing outside of the bathroom. It's your job. How many do we have coming?

Like seven or eight. Yeah, I'll just shake things up. Do they have like a corral or where are they going? Oh, I don't know. Hold on, I'll tell you. I have a list. Are they from different genres? Like this is the tech intern.

This is the, or they're just. I bet. Yeah. Social content. Let me look it up very curious it's always a fun time what should we do to make them uncomfortable on the yak

besides count the people that go into the bathroom making them count the bathroom, giving them hugs lots of good stuff that you could do alright let's see intern who's the best intern that never was?

Oh. We've had six crops for me. What do you mean that never was? It didn't end up... It doesn't work here. One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Or no. Well, Luke and Hannah are on that. So seven new people tomorrow. This is cool. Look at this one. Holy shit, dude. What is a knife pop out?

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. That is very dangerous. Yeah. Thank you. We should actually throw that out. You're going to tell me to throw this away while it's in my hands? Oh, my God.

Oh, it's a knife? It's a brass knuckles knife. Oh, my God. We have seven new ones coming, and there are one, two, three, four guys. Five guys. Two girls. What a healthy ratio. What is this?

New interns. You guys can all keep your knives. Thank you. That's exciting. Big guy, you want to play with this one? Yes. Got to show them the leopard knife. How sharp is this?

Look around. Put the sharp side down. Put your hands through the other way. Oh. What am I doing wrong? Here, KB, pass me the one that you accidentally... Make that noise. Yeah. You got a shotgun. Oh.

Yeah, shotty. You got a shotty of that. Where's the hole? Okay, I got it, I got it, I got to shotty that. Where is the hole? Okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. A little slit. What do I do?

The shotgun? Holy shit. A lot of fun. Shit. I do it out this hole. I don't know. I've never done it. I can do it if you want.

Shotgun? Are we shotgunning right now? She is. I think the hole is too high. The hole is too high. Yeah, well, you got to make it work. Make it work, Kate. Hey, I don't want to make a mess. Suck it. Suck too high. It has to be at the bottom. Yeah, well you gotta make it work. Make it work, Kate.

Hey, I don't wanna make a mess. Suck it down. Wait, don't open the... I would just go through the hole. I would just do the hole. There we go. Wow. Go, Kate.

Dog. Shit. Nice. Needed that. That was needed. Okay. All right. I'll take another one.

It's the weekend. Thank you. This thing is sick. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. What are you going to do with it? Look at it. I'm just sitting here. Was that more disturbing than cool?

No, people send me knives a ton. I meant the way I drink them. Oh. No, that was cool. People send you knives? Mm-hmm. Why? I was trying to get the two.

I forgot. What's the count? I've lost count. It's just every package hits kind of a knife. You hit over 100 last summer. Yeah. And you kind of gave up on the dream. A knife fight is weirdly, like...

Scary. Yeah, it's very scary. It's scarier than a gun fight. I'd rather get hit by a car than a bike. No. That's stupid. All right, that was incorrect. You lost me there.

I'd fuck up a bike. No. Yes. What about a motorcycle? Motorcycle would be a problem. Motorcycle or car. Bicycle, I would just shove the... I've been hit by a bike.

It's not that bad. That depends. An evenly matched knife fight would be very painful yes terrible i'd rather be exchanging yeah yeah because like so i feel like someone shoots you and then runs away whereas a knife fight like you get stabbed you're like am i stabbed oh shit i'm about to die yeah and it would hurt yeah you don't want parody in the knife fighting game because you want to either get done for right out the gate right you you don't want to be the only one you'd rather get shot in the head than bleed out right by a mile yeah that would suck knife fight yeah that's that's bad like almost archaic and you can't

hear him you could stumble right on There could be one right next door. A really good knife fight to the death. Sword fight. Sword's a little bit more distance. Sword's a bit more civilized. Yeah. I feel like you could run from a sword. You can't run from a knife, though.

I don't think so. Shit. I don't know why that doesn't make sense. It clicked in my brain. If someone just took out a sword, I'd just run. But a knife, you're like, fuck. Fuck, what do I do? Step toward you.

Right, right. I can handle this. You ever see a clip of that dude with a hatchet in the New York McDonald's? Oh, yeah. It's like the scariest clip I've ever seen. That guy rocks. Yeah. What? He doesn't rock? No. Oh, I. It's like the scariest clip I've ever seen. That guy rocks. Yeah. What? He doesn't rock? No.

Oh, I think he rocks. No. He got punched like 75 times in the face and just sat there and then was like, oh yeah, I got a hatchet. Did he get punched? Yes. And he rocks. Why'd they punch a man with a hatchet? Did you find it, TJ? They didn't know he had a hatchet. He didn't know he had a hatchet. He also didn't hatchet

anyone. He just hatcheted objects to let everyone know that he has the hatchet. Yeah. So that's why I think he rocks. If he had hatcheted someone, I would have been like, no, I'm not cool with this guy anymore. The one guy's girlfriend. No, that's not this one. Oh, this man is heinous. I remember this.

He better be in jail. I don't think this is the guy that got punched. I think you're confusing two videos. No, this is the guy that got punched. Does it go in confusing two videos. No, this is the guy that got punched. Does it go in? This is the hatchet guy. Yeah, wait, wait. Yeah, no, this is where he gets punched.

Yeah. Look at this. Oh, he does get punched. Look at this. Yeah, you're right. You could tell he's... Look at this. He's like, they don't know I have a hatchet.

This guy rules. They don't know I have a hatchet. As soon as you guys are done, I'm going to pull out my hatchet. Have your fun. So sassy about it. It's in his inventory. Have your fun. So sassy about it. It's in his inventory. Have your fun. Yeah, he's scrolling through.

Oh, yeah. They're terrified now. He's like, all right, you guys done punching me? Hatchet time. As soon as the backpack comes out, you got to run. They should have already ran. You're just a woman in the background eating a McChicken. Yeah, why is everyone sitting around being like,

uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yeah, and he just starts breaking shit. Yeah, why aren't they leaving? They're not afraid of the hatchet. Oh, they seem a little afraid. No, this is terrifying. But you're right.

Everyone's like three feet behind him. This guy kind of rocks, and then he bitch slaps this guy. Like, that's when I knew that he rocked because he could have used the hatchet on any of these guys but he didn't. He didn't. He respects the hatchet. Yeah. See? He respects the hatchet.

And then he just took his bike and left. He pulled up his pants. God damn. Yeah, I don't know. I'm having a hard time. Oh, now he's in her face? Yeah, but doesn't ever use the hatchet on a person. I would love to know the backstory.

That guy just showed up trying to get his Uber Eats delivery. You're right. It's wild that nobody's fucking running right now. Yeah, I would have been. That is insane. Because I think he kind of respects the power of the hatchet. He's like,

I'm not going to use this. People filming is insane. How many people do you think have died? Why are they chilling? Oh my god. Oh, I thought they were making out. Not the case. I'm sorry guys, but I'm ruling he rocks.

He didn't use the hatchet on anyone. What's going on in the booth? It took some... Whoa. Like a Queen music video. If he had used the hatchet on anyone, I would have been like, fuck this guy, go to jail. But he was just like, I'm letting everyone know I have a hatchet.

I have a hatchet, you guys. Yeah. I'll still use, I'll still slap you. My turn now. Right. Yeah. Respect the hatchet. I, yep.

He showed self-control. And he took like 10 punches to the face. Yeah. I think that's fair. And he took them like coolly. Yeah. It's hard to get punched cool. Yeah.

What started it? I think the first guy we saw said, I bet you don't have a hatchet. Clearly, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Punch me and find out. And then that happened. We're going to have to get wet today.

No, we got a real wheel reset. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yesterday we reset. That's a good feeling. You want to do the high noon ad? Sure do.

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and it comes in four delicious flavors you've got to try. Original peach, lemon, raspberry. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. We finally have it in the office, I think. Yeah, we do. I might take some home. Me as well. I might steal in the office, I think. Yeah, we do. I might take some home. Me as well. I might steal from the office.

By the way, I tried the new iced tea. Good? Incredible. I'm going to steal. That's my favorite thing to a good booth to see. I like that it's not carbonated. Yeah, it is so good. Because I'm a belcher.

Are you? Yeah. I'm the opposite. Wow. Jogated. Yeah, it is so good. Because I'm a belcher. Are you? Yeah. I'm the opposite. Wow. Jogging at peach, which is my favorite. Oh, yeah, you can't. It sucks. Yeah, you bubble.

Caleb can't either, right? Marty can't. Golly. I had a thought. What's the thing? I don't want to do this, but I had a thought. All right, dude. The floor is yours

Should we do a case race On Wednesday Yep On Wednesday On Wednesday Oh yeah Ronan Sasser here Yep

Should Oh my god We could save it For another day We could save it For like We could save it For when we're going

To the Beer Olympics We could save There's a bunch of Fridays We could save it for Wow Friday before July 4th Wednesday Problem is We have to the beer olympics we could say we there's a bunch of fridays we could save it for friday before july 4th problem is we have roofball the next day so maybe that makes it funny yes i think it makes it funny i will throw up why don't we just start it early like start it i don't think

we always end up just if we do it right after Yak. We could. I'll do it. I'm ready. All right. We'll talk to Ron. Yeah. Because the other thing is. Oh, because the only thing.

This is why we might not be able to do it. Ron has pop punk practice. Oh, yeah. Singer. He does a practice. They're doing it big this time on this tour. They got like the ear sets and like the... Oh, shit. Really, they're not fucking around. Are you guys going to the show?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got a babysitter. I'm excited. Are you gonna start getting wasted after this? I think so. No, no. It's Friday. I'm going to NASCAR this weekend. Oh, hell yeah. It's exciting.

Yep. Very excited. How are you guys respecting the troops this weekend? Remember, it's okay to have fun, but not too much fun. I invited some Asgars over to my house. Oh, very nice. Yes. I'm going to shelter them.

That's nice, Kyle. Feed them. Good. I'm going to have an MRE for dinner. Okay. And then do whatever every former troop loves to do.

Yeah. Smoke cigarettes. And spend too much money on a truck. Yep. Okay. Get a divorce. Get a divorce and then have a $750 a month car payment. Yes. You're right on track. I don't know what I'm going to do for this. Yeah, rain check.

Yeah, rain check. More Veterans Day guy. Yeah, okay. Okay, that's more happier. That's kind of where I do my remembering and all that stuff. I'll pop off for Labor Day. That's not true. That's nothing to do.

It's true. Wait, what? No. Labor Day? Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. What is Labor Day. That's not true. That's nothing to do with truth. Wait, what? No. Labor Day? Oh, fuck. Oh my god. What is Labor Day, Mook? I don't... I don't... Fuck.

You know it, though. So the troops just had every holiday? They should. We try to. We try to put our fingers in every little pond. Why did I have to end the show? You're doing real well.

I got one thing I want to bring up. This guy keeps DMing me. Okay. And he said, word for word, tell the boys on the yak, this is the W you need. And he said,

tell the boys, George Kittle looks exactly like Kevin Garnett. Tell them about George Kittle looking like Kevin Garnett. They'll love it. They're going to lose it. Can we see a side-by-side of George Kittle and Kevin Garnett? I just want to test this theory. I'm interested in this. There's no way they look alike, right?

KB kind of looks like Josh Hart. There's a guy that DMs me about that a lot. Yeah. Did you tell him? Okay. No. He set you up. Wait, can you guys lose it or no?

No. The only one I've ever seen that's actually good is Troy Aikman Jay-Z. Troy Aikman Jay-Z is spot on. I've never seen this. If you search Troy Aikman Jay-Z. Ooh. Troy Aikman Jay-Z is spot on. I've never seen this. Oh, I just don't think. If you search Troy Aikman Jay-Z, that one is dynamite.

Yeah, that was not. No. Yeah, tell that guy. Set you up. Give him an L. Okay. Send him an L, Mook. DM him right now.

He set you up bad. No, if he wanted to set me up, I would have just set it out of the spur of the moment. Yeah. Did you guys? Look at that. Yep. It's the of the spur of the moment. Yeah. Did you guys look at that? Yep. Same guy. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. There it is. It takes a while for me. Yeah. Look at that one. That is, it's pretty crazy.

That's nuts. Yeah. Okay. What is that though? Is that a mixture? I don't know. No, that's Troy Aikman. Yeah, he does.

He looks like Jay-Z. Did you guys know Bette Midler's not on The View? The View is always just a group. Have they ever been in the news for saying anything correct or liked? No. Don't think so. I thought she was. I learned that today.

I don't... Is Star Jones still on the view? Whoopi Goldberg is still on the view. Okay. Who's the one? Osbourne? She was for a while. Megan McCain? Wasn't Megan McCain on the view for a while?

I don't know what the view is. Joel McHale? No, that's The Soup. Joel McHale. Yeah. I just say to you, TJ, this is the same woman. It's Bette Midler, but there's another Bette Midler that's on The View. There's two Bette Midlers. Her name's Bette Midler?

No, her name's Joy. Oh, Joy Bayhart. Yeah. Okay. I always just thought that was Bette Midler. Her name's Bette Midler? No, her name's Joy. Oh, Joy Bayhart. Yeah. Okay. I always just thought that was Bette Midler. Yep. Very, very similar. That's the same woman.

That's the same woman. Yeah. Yep. That is, yeah. Like, what the fuck? They just got fake Bette Midler? I don't know which one's which. I don't know what side is Bette Midler.

That's the same. Yeah. Very similar. It tricked us. I was good with one Bette Midler. I didn't need two. That's a cool. Yeah. Very similar. It tricked us. I was good with one Bette Midler. I didn't need two. That's a cool gambling persona. What?

The only Bette Midler. Bette Midler? Yeah. That's good. Someone take that right now. Bette Midler. Oh. Oh, fuck.

Someone snag that handle right now. That's a great gambling. If you snag that and you start getting hot betting mid-majors, you'll be hired here. Yeah. Oh, without a doubt. Hiring Bette Midler. Yeah. I was Mookie Betts.

Yeah, right. With one tee. Yeah. How'd that go? Terrible. No, you worked somewhere, didn't you? I did. I worked for TFM for nine months.

Seriously? Yeah. Yeah. Writing gambling blogs. A rough blogger. Oh, shit. With Dylan Chevery and Ross Bolin and Jared Borslow. When was that?

Like 2018, 2017. Yeah, because they're not around anymore dfm isn't i think i killed that i think they do no they do stuff i know not under dealt like yeah they do their own thing now dylan and will um they have a funny podcast and uh i think ross separated from them yeah. That's how I did the pepper spray thing. Oh, that was for that. I would give out five picks. If I didn't go three for five, I would hurt myself. Damn. Yeah.

That's right. Yeah. Good times. Bette Midler. Great times. Clears. Bette Midler. Bette Midler.

Grab it now. It should be an old woman, right? That's picking mid-majors? Yeah. Best case. A mid-old woman? Yeah. Yeah. She's okay. Yeah. She she's just there it could just be mac like you just bet mac basketball and football mid-american yes

yeah yeah steven oh steven you're back above 500 above zero uh we're down 0.37 we got a parlay tonight, though. 2-0 last night. He does do the chair bounce. Titus is right. I just have a bouncy chair. But it's after something you say, and then you bounce yourself. The boy's excitable.

I like it, but I didn't notice it. I do, too. Che, how many hours of research have you put in this basketball season to picks? Oh, too much. Too much. I can't imagine. Playoffs less just because the matchups are set. You just kind of watch the games go off that.

But regular season. Have you thought about just guessing? Because it would be, I'd assume, the same result. If that's true. So, like. No, I think your time's valuable, and I think you're wasting it. So I remind Big Ken PFT today about their Oakland A's bet, which is Oakland A's to win by over one and a half runs.

And I believe they have a better record right now than me. And were previously very cold. But, yeah, that's one bet the whole year. And, yeah, they're better than I am right now. now than me and we're previously very cold but yeah that's one bet the whole year and um yeah they're better than better than i am right now yeah but like do you um what i'm asking is do you regret wasting so much time uh no man because the journey is the journey what and we might we might end up uh we might end up up a good amount we have some nice futures but you might not might not just guess but why worry about it until it's over?

We'll see. We can reevaluate once the season's over with the record. I'm confident I'll be up. Next season of Trust the Data, I would like you to compete with a coin. Yeah. So it's Steve versus coin. That's like Stu. He did the

famous Sports Illustrated did an expose and he went against a kid and a dog who ended up winning. He lost. He didn't come in third, did he? He might have come in third. Larry the Goldfish was like 58%. He was genuinely talented.

Yes, he was one of the most talented gamblers of all time. He was very good. Genuinely talented. He was very good. Genuinely talented. He had a gift. Yeah. He's a liar. How's Mr. Pear doing?

Not good. He was hot for a while, right? He's a football turtle. We're forcing him to make hockey picks. He's a football turtle. That's fair. We're going to wait and see. Don't turtles live like hundreds of years?

Some. I think this one will live like 50 or 60. Whose responsibility? Memes. He's a helicopter parent. Really? He's protecting us? Just always freaking out about it.

Oh, Mr. Pear shit again. I was here on a Saturday working out, and Memes came in. I'm like, what's up? And he was like, I just got to check if the lights are on for Mr. Pear. He's here. He loves him. He loves him. He loves him. Well, he also knows

it's a little different than getting a goldfish because I think we killed like four or five goldfish. People got a little upset about that, which I was like, it's a goldfish.

You can't have a turtle die. No, no. Oh, no. That's horrific. Yeah. You can't have a turtle die. That means that you're negligent.

Yeah. Very bad. Yeah. So the turtle dies is on him. You're abusive. Yeah. So if a turtle dies, it's on him. That's bad. Yeah. Is his job tied to that turtle? It might be.

Yeah. My kids love Mr. Pear. When I bring them in, they love to see Mr. Pear. Is there any fun that you have with a turtle? Do they express emotions? Turtles? Yeah. Can you get the brush for their shell and shake their butt?

He gets curious. Okay. You got to feed it hot dogs. Hot dogs? What? Yeah. The person that babysat me, I would go to their house. They had a turtle.

We would feed it hot dogs. It was a great time. Fool? Was it a snapping turtle? Possibly. Was it like an aquatic turtle? It was an aquatic turtle. Okay.

This one's land dwelling. Oh. Those might be just herbivores. They could probably take down a dog. Definitely could. Yeah. You see Kobayashi retired. Oh, yeah.

He's not hungry anymore. Damn. That's an awesome quote. So cool. I've lost my hunger. Yeah. He got barred from the Nathan? Yeah.

Yeah. I know. We actually, there was a moment in time where we were going to put on a Kobayashi versus Joey Chestnut, like one off. It would have been sick. I think we were going to do it during a rough and rowdy. Oh, my God. That would have been incredible. So great.

We should try to do that still. Surprisingly cheaper than you think. It was because it was in the window when Joey was a free agent. That's right. Joey's Major League Eating. Kobayashi was banned from Major League Eating events. They sanctioned Nathan's. Joey last year was a free agent. His contract with Major League Eating ended.

So there was a window of opportunity where they could have staged a non-sanctioned Joey versus Kobayashi match. Of course. How did he get banned from Major League Eating? I think he was doing non-major league eating events yeah okay something happened um would you rather be like very good at eating something like that like hot dogs or this is going to be a really good question or have ten thousand

dollars ten thousand eating well no if you're really good. Eating by far. Joey Chestnut? Yeah, you're like the best at one specific thing. Eating. Because you could make more than $10,000. I would pick eating even if I wasn't promised. I knew I wouldn't make any money. That's just a fun skill.

Impress the fellas. Joey Chestnut, he eats for a living. What if the calories affect you? I wouldn't flaunt it all the time. Calories affect Joey Chestnut. Do they? Yeah. Isn't he always the same size?

He's a human. Yeah, but he trains. If he didn't train, he'd be fat as fuck. He burns calories. Well, don't they throw it all up and poop it all out right away? No. He does the hot dog eating competition, then he goes on a treadmill for three hours, then he goes out and drinks.

I feel like if you poop it out, it's too late. I don't think the speed at which you poop. Oh, you're right. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. That would be awesome if you shit it out fast, the calories don't get you. You're just shitting while shoveling hot dogs down your throat. You're just a straw.

Yeah, that's it. One tube. All right, TJ, you want to spin the wheel? So we'll see everyone on Tuesday. We have Interns Tuesday. We have Ronan Sass Wednesday. Roofball Thursday. Hell yeah.

Big week. Huge week. Very excited. Off Monday. Off Monday. Oh. Told you. Oh.

Where's Titus? Towel whipper. Titus? Towel whipper Should we spin to see Who has to start Tuesday With a towel whip? Because Titus has to do it We can just towel whip an intern That's probably a good welcome

So is this elimination or is this I think it's one spin What do we do? If it lands on Titus we we all get to whip him. That's right. Yeah. I think one spin. If it's Titus, we whip him. Let's eliminate. You want to eliminate?

Yeah, I like eliminate. I feel like my odds are better elimination. I think it's just going to end up being me again. Sure will. It's been you both times. Yeah, both times. I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy my weekend if I know Titus is going to whip my little ass. Yeah, this is actually really funny. Just hanging it over you.

Okay, so we'll start the show with someone getting towel whipped on Tuesday by Titus. As long as Titus doesn't get... Oh, look at that. Yeah, for the best. If it wasn't elimination, God fucking damn it. Very funny. That would have been very funny.

Your little ass. My little ass is going to stay unmarred. Oh, Brandon would have been so funny. God damn it. Does anybody else miss Uncle Doug? I miss him already. So much. That line he said about time.

Yeah. So good. Still thinking about it. All right. So this is the whipper. That's not what you want to see. No. And Kate doesn't have panties to pat the whip

I took them off several weeks ago alright there we go the wheel knows what no one wants to see thank you wheel alright so now we're rooting for Che right oh yeah I feel like KB you could take a pat whip to the butt

that's very wrestler-esque. Yeah, I could take one. I don't want one. Mookie. Fuck. Die, die, die. You want to get whipped, huh? You said go. I did not mean that.

You're afraid of the noise you'll make after the whip, aren't you? Yeah. By the way, did we help you with the girl? Did you hear back? It's ruined. I'll take that. It's ruined. She did not like mean aura. What?

I was saying that because I think anyone pretty. What's a sweep do? Kyle has to bear ass. Balls. Balls. Balls. No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls.

Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls.

Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. I'm going to come back now. Watch. Also, I think, Kate, you're absolved because only a mean aura girl would get offended by that.

Thank you. Yeah, no, that is true. She definitely has a mean aura. I meant I was intimidated by you. That wasn't the first time someone by that. Thank you. Yeah, no, that is true. She definitely has a mean aura. I meant I was intimidated by you. That wasn't the first time someone said that. And I said you had good hair. Roll up. Roll up to the office right now.

No, no. I'll beat your ass. Oh, shit. Kate shocked on the high noon. She's ready to fucking fight, dude. That's me. Yeah, I'll take it. All right. I don't mean that, I'll take it. All right.

I don't mean that. I'm a pussy. Oh, one last thing. Mook, why don't you send everyone off for the weekend? No. All right. I'll do this. I'll do this.

Hey, guys. I know there's a lot of hate in the world out there. I know a lot of you hate me. It's Memorial Day weekend Crack a beer have a good time spend time with your friends your family. It's Memorial Day respect the troops get out there Have a good weekend. I love all of you. I do. I love all of you even the little trolls I love you. Have a good weekend stay safe we'll see you tuesday love you bye