The Yak - The Perks Of Being A Small Bauer | The Yak 2-1-22

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

BWalk be wildinYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Am I the only one who tweets the show every day? That's why I'm always on my phone to start the show because I always forget. Hang on, let me tweet the show. I have a point of order about Friday. We could do it for numbers. The numbers. Next week, let's be on our promotion game.

On our big-ass promo game all week. Yes, sir. Can I ask a question about Friday? Yes. When will we reveal what the ping-pong balls are? Wait, excuse me. Sorry. Stop.

What are we doing? TJ, wheel, please. Wait, hold on. So is Nick going to get his own wheel later? Yeah, he'll get his own wheel. The fuck he's on. I forgot. This is how we start every show.

All right. Go ahead, TJ. Wheel it. Here we go. This is to decide what today is. Pretty dry day. All right, boy. Looks like it's going to be a dry day.

All right. Sorry, Brandon. Didn't mean to interrupt. Will we reveal the 50 balls or however many it is on the show on Friday? Will we have a spot of the show at the beginning where we say one by one what they are? Or will we do that Thursday? No, it's all Friday. We're going to do that Friday?

All Friday. All Thursday we have all Friday. It's going to be a long episode. So that could take an hour right there. Reveal another wheel for Nick. Nick, anyone who's late has to do their own wheel. 30 seconds each. Tops.

25 minutes. All right. Sorry. Here we go. Open 25 minutes. Here we go. Here we go. Nick has his own wheel. Best part is, if you get wet, you just go straight into... What a spin. Oh!

Oh! God damn it. Dangerous. Well, boys. Fuck! Looks like I'm dry with you. Damn it. Sorry about that.

That was great. Yes, we're doing it all on Friday. All of it. I apologize, Nick. So the ball reveal on Friday. Everything. Everything. We got to get our shit together.

I might be here tomorrow. We don't have to reveal until we pick them. I think we should reveal them so people know what's at stake. Each ball being picked is a reveal. Yes. I like that. Oh, yes. But then they won't.

TJ has a master sheet. But then they won't find it. They won't know what the other one's on. They're not that stupid. We can just tell them after. Okay. Yeah, no, we can say after. But, yeah, TJ has a master sheet.

We'll have Stephen Che maybe make up the master sheet, send it to Stephen. So people won't know what the balls are until the balls come out. Yeah. And then TJ, maybe TJ. Yeah, if we could have something like a graphic disappear. Yeah, maybe we can get graphics, TJ, of like each one, you know. I mean, we've talked about a lot of them. I also got the ankle weights in.

KB tried them out. They are very heavy. Be hard for a lot of you guys. Very heavy. Five pounds each for the entire week. KB tried them out. They are very heavy. Hard for a lot of you guys. Very heavy. Five pounds each for the entire week. So there's a reveal. I don't think we've talked about that one. Yeah, so there's a reveal.

I got a little present for you boys coming in this week. I think you guys are all going to love it. Tass has been cooing about this present that he has. You have a good present? He said, how many people are on the yak? It's going to make the week a little better. Oh, that would be nice. This week or next week?

Next week, right? Next week. Good. But it should be here by Friday. Trying to give me a present? Oh, wow. The roles are reversed. Whoa.

You mad, Danny? It's fun. It's a quid pro quo. I'll get a little spoon for a sec. Yeah, you could cuddle. You could cuddle both ways. I'll back that ass up. I almost went above and beyond, but it was too expensive.

The thought that counts. The other one would have been way fucking funnier. I almost bought you a new Tesla But it was But it was too much Too much But that bonus money hit though The bonus money has everybody

Feeling real saucy People are buying minks And pink cars Oh February 1st Big Hat didn't even notice Yeah Right Yeah

That was awesome You just look at the first couple digits Those didn't move Those didn't move fucking changed my life dude i sprinted out of my apartment i was like i got a golden tick tried to go spend a lot of money at once and failed i tried to buy something and i don't like anything i was like wait i was browsing i was i was i don't want i don't know what to do i browsed my ass off i got my wife a couch whoa you had her a couch? So she can sleep on that?

Yeah. Who gets an individual person a couch? She wanted a new couch. But isn't it for everyone? If you're married, it's like the chocolate football. That's one of the things. It's for everyone. Is it a leather couch?

It is a leather couch. You can't sit on those shirtless. Best was the chocolate football. We talked about it for so long, and then when it finally came time to eat it, Frank just pawed the whole thing. He touched every bit. He's like, well, let's see how we're going to break this. There he is. We need another.

Is that what Sas got for everybody, chocolate football? No. My present was like $30 total, including shipping for everyone. Oh, wow. Was it peanuts? I think you boys are going to like it. Packing peanuts? It's a form of apparel

that I would hope we'll all wear forever. Bracelet? Is it an accessory? Someone's getting a tattoo next week. Have we thought about that? 10X something?

10X tattoo. Has anyone thought? Oh, by the way. Is it a 10X tattoo or a tattoo of a ball you pulled? The book's at home. I like the ball. There is a crossover that I didn't realize when I tweeted that book.

And obviously, there's a lot of people listen to it. If you look at both the YouTube channels, there's probably like 80,000 people by the end of the day. A lot of people thought I bought that 10X book for real. And they're like, this guy's such a fucking shady dude. I thought you were like, I didn't think you were this dumb big guy. It was a lot of 5X energy in the chat. But I'd like to point out, you did take it home to read it.

Well, no, I got it delivered to my house. Oh, okay. You skimmed it at all? It looked. Anything good? I already bought three properties in Miami today. Wow. 10x.

Yeah. No big deal. Real estate doesn't depreciate. That could be any of us. Real estate never goes down. It doesn't. It's a fact. Stock only go up.

He wrote the book in 2006. This is foolproof. It will work forever. What does it say? I just love that he wrote on the prep sheet, Stephen Chay devastated. Oh, he is. We should get him to call in. I actually did have one video I wanted to play,

which is, like, such a classic barstool video that Hank just posted. I don't know. Has everyone seen this video? I actually think, like, Brandon, you probably haven't seen this video. This is after the Seahawks-Patriots Super Bowl. Yeah. In Houston? In Arizona. So, Kevin's in New York, Super Bowl. Yeah. In Houston? In Arizona.

So Kevin's in New York, I'm in Chicago, and Dave's in Arizona. Can we talk thumbnails in a minute, too? Play this video. Rundown. Oh, my God. What is today? Hey, February 2nd? So.

It was just quite a game, fellas. There's a little fat in the face here. It was quite a game. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't have any more words. There are no words to express how much I hate you as a person. Like, I'm looking at you right now, and I'm looking at that stupid fucking medallion and your dumb cigar and your stupid hat and your fat fucking body. And I hear your dumb fucking voice.

And I swear to God, Dave, I swear to God if I was there, I would try to murder you. I would try to kill you one way or the other. That's how much I fucking hate you. That's how much this – that's how terrible this has been. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. I was going to try to spin it. There's no spin zone for this. It's miserable.

It's terrible. It's horrible. It couldn't have gotten any worse. It was right there for the taking. And thanks to Pete Carroll, who made not the worst decision in football history, not the worst decision in football history, not the worst decision in sports history, just the worst decision in history, period.

The worst choice that has ever been made by a person ever in the whole world was made by Pete Carroll. And that's why you get to sit there with your smug fucking face, your fat ugly head, celebratingug fucking face. Say your worst decision. Bad, ugly head. Celebrating your fucking dynasty. Big cut. That was the start of, like, so much Dave just. I mean, it's crazy that, like, you think of the Patriots three Super Bowls and that all could have been different if Pete Carroll runs the ball there.

Big cut. Big cut. Big cut. I thought we had to play that real quick for a Barstool history lesson. You look crazy in that. Dude, you look crazy right now. What the fuck are you doing? Did I?

Yeah. What the fuck? You put me on the glasses. I've never seen anyone wear glasses before until I saw you. She looks crazy. It's dope. A lot of people are buying Felix Grey, which I can't thank you guys enough. A lot of people are talking about it.

They're engaging with the brand. I know there's no way to measure how profitable my put-on was. You could just search Feel Dicks Gay. I think all those people are. field dicks gay i think that's only your people is the people who are saying field is gay working boys um they look great on both of you guys i i think that you both independently came up with glasses on your own in a really impressive way wait oh and are you What the fuck Whoa Where are the Where are glasses shown at Where did those come from

And real quick Nick how long Have you been wearing glasses Since first grade Oh Okay And this is new for them I love it

Just started I want a pair No one's called me four eyes That's dope It's like earrings Because glasses are hot now I know Oh look

Blackman's wearing glasses now Look at that Three out of seven of us on this show wear glasses. That's crazy. This is a bespectacled show. Brandon, your show was sponsored by Felix Grey for a little bit, and when you put yours on, you looked like when Beast from X-Men puts on his glasses.

Because your face, there's so much face around the glasses. I have a lot of face. Throw on necks. These are a little bit wider, but yeah, all right. Don't stretch them out. That's always the worst. I'm not going to be a glasses guy anymore. Brandon, you don't look bad.

Try Kyle's on. You look good, Brandon. You might want to start keep rocking those. Nick, I have an announcement. You look like a member of the school board who fought for segregation really hard. Yeah. It proves you're a Bernie Sanders wrestler. And I'll just say it.

Big, big guys don't rock them. No. What, big guys? He's got his small, skinny... He looks like the eagle from the Muppets. Oh, he does. You look like a lawyer who got into Harvard in 1920 because technically you were a minority being a southern gentleman. Well, the thing is, I actually.

They were like, oh, we got to get this white guy from the south. The perks of being a small bower. Because you. We're clowning. Oh, man. Bro, we clowning. No, I'm not a glasses guy. Are you okay?

I have very bad eyesight. You can't see at all. Yeah, he can't see at all. He's an owl. Brandon, Nick giving you those glasses, underrated one of the meanest things people can say to big guys is like, oh, don't stretch that out. Don't stretch out these glasses.

It's just such a mean way to be like, you're so fat, you're going to ruin my shirt. Didn't phase me at all. Yeah, understood. Don't stretch that out. Don't put that shirt on Don't put that triple X shirt on You're gonna stretch it out

Fuck Oh You're really filling out the glasses Is he here? Is he live? Bob Oh wow

That was just a video What an unbelievable To what do we Oh this is a pleasure I still don't know if this is pre-recorded or not Yeah

It feels like Can you say anything that's like Can you say anything that's like... Can you describe something live? Hold up the date or something. Be live in any way? The perks of being a small bower. Huh?

Okay. Oh, instead of the perks of being a wallflower. He got you with your own shit. Okay, well, I thought it was funny when I said it. It's not. It's a stupid joke. Give us something else. What happened today?

Hey, it looks like you're holding actual tears what is it tom brady tom brady retired all right so this is from saturday get it out of here oh look at him holding back his smile he's so he posted on instagram and didn't use the word retired but yeah oh my god you're not shifter's background yeah it is you're not you're not actually still holding out hope are you it's like a half a percent no it's maybe done he just wants to come skip training camp barb did it oh my god you're sick he retired twice it sucks do you what's my other alternative just like get excited because we're gonna have fucking no bridge water or your cousin you're a scouting guy you're a draft guy you're about to get to do a rebuild welcome to the gutter my friend i'm sure ab will be back let's go sad sad

he's studying up steven now for people who don't watch the rundown steven yesterday said he had uh breaking news and we said he had breaking news. And we thought he had some kind of inside source into Tom Brady. And his breaking news was just, if Tom Brady plays one more year, Stephen Shea will do the TB12 method diet for an entire year, excluding holidays and birthdays. Major holidays. Major holidays. Can you actually give us a quick breakdown of major holidays? Sidebar?

The big three in my mind were Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Halloween? Not 4th of July? Halloween? Yeah, I would go 4th of July. Halloween, I was going to go ham. I thought about it. Memorial Day?

Barbecues? Yeah. Dead troops? No, I would have been okay giving those up. Zai, you think you should maybe respect Martin Luther King Day? Black History Month? Black History Month. Well, I'm talking about in a year.

I was basically doing from now until. No, they're not major. It's not major. I agree. Yeah, but you don't have any. Those are all white holidays. Halloween, too. You really need to eat.

Yes, he loves candy. I was going to eat so much candy if that was the case. Your tummy would have been hurt. So, do you think Tom Brady maybe saw your offer and was like like this guy's not all in he has holidays on there well no so i tweeted it out you know at a few minutes before his podcast and which was live and he didn't announce it on there so maybe you did give him something to think about oh so you delayed it you also said birthdays now is that just sticking to your family? Family birthdays.

Or does that count us too? My kids' birthdays. I'm not going to be an asshole. So we're not family here? I mean, we don't. In fairness, I didn't eat the pork belly for KB's birthday. You could have. But we were still.

Actually, no, we weren't in the playoffs anymore. But I was respecting. I did eight additional days for an eighth ring, but it didn't work. Today's my first day off it. Can we test the birthday problem? Ah. Get 23 people in here? Birthday paradox.

To see if one of them... I think it's 50. And I just want 23 people in here. Let's crowd the room. How many people could we get in here until we had double birthdays? I think it's 23. Let's do the whole company.

23, the probability is 50%. Let's get Chuck and Riggs in here. Let's not do something we know. No cherry picking. I'll just get a bunch of people. There's so many people upstairs that we've never met. Yeah. Wait, I have someone new for us to meet today.

I don't know if you want to do that before or after. Where'd Steven go? Right here. You just hang out. Hang out for the rest of the show, all right? Oh, that was incredible. Hang out for the rest of the show. We'll call on you when needed.

I mean, your life is over. Yeah, probably. No, I mean, I'm not trying to be mean. No, it's not. I'm not trying to be mean, but he was your meal ticket. Do you think, what are the odds you never see another Super Bowl? Probably pretty high. Pretty good.

I mean, we got good brain trust, so. Brain trust? Who in the brain trust? You're about to lose Byron Lefwich, probably. Yeah. If we lose Byron Lefwich, we get two third-round picks. So not the worst. All right, Steven, here's my next question.

Brain trust? Have you replayed in your head at all that moment when you looked at me? We're all workshopping the same thing. During the divisional round game against the Rams, you said, we're going to the Super Bowl, and I'm going to be at the Super Bowl. No, because we were discussing hypotheticals and we were fine.

If I regret anything, it was not knowing that the TV volumes could all be adjusted differently. They're only adjusted once and once we got them all to go differently, things started turning around.

Hello. Oh, okay, we got a new person. Stick around, just stick around. There's a mic right there. Wait, real quick, Chuck, when's your birthday? January 30th. Whoa! Good shit. Birthday paradox done. Alright, so

who are you, sir? I'm a new guy. I'm Meek Phil. I started working here last Monday. I'm. Alright, so who are you, sir? I'm a new guy. I'm Meek Phil. I started working here last Monday. I help out with the main account on the social team. Wait, what's your name? My ad is Meek Phil. Meek Phil. Steven's just eating

in the lower third. Welcome. Thanks for having me. I got summoned here. So your name is Phil? Yes. Meek Phil. And what is your background?

Basically, I'm an internet troll. I'm a mess in an internet troll background. Hello, partner. Yeah, your Twitter bio is Bishop Sycamore High School DB's coach. I've left that in there since September, whatever that is. That still plays. Long troll. And I heard that – or what did you get hired for?

We'll do a little onboarding. Basically, I got reached out to you last month by Chuck to help out the main social team. So my legs are shaking. I'm so nervous. Take a seat on the stool. Phil's got 298,000 tweets. He's got a lot of thoughts. There we go.

Now I can sit down. Make sure you hold that on your knee. Yeah, I'll hold it on my knee right here. This is comforting. This is how I would be. Basically, I got reached out to help out with the main Twitter account. And I had some tweets over the last week on it. And help out finding videos for the main Instagram account. I had some tweets over the last week on it. How about finding

videos for the main Instagram account? That's basically what I've been doing. What was your first main tweet? It was some Julius Randall missing a half-court shot or something. I had some good ones. What type of trolls would you do? Kind of hard to explain. You're asking me a troll on the spot.

A bit complex. It is very complex. I usually try to memorize a cliff note. You ask me, I'm an internet troll. What does that mean? I can't explain that. Give us a couple trolls, though. We'll indulge you.

We'll sit with you through the thoughts of a troll. You can't, Ron. In our field, it's just so hard to verbalize. You gave that shit up a long time ago. You don't even tweet anymore. This guy tweets to the tune of 230,000 times. 298, whatever Big Cat said. Oh, fuck.

300,000. That's a lot. So what bangers did you get on the main account this past weekend? The Josh Allen one where it was like, oh, now it's tails. I did the Kyle Shanahan one with all three of the blown leads he had do you have any uh when you nut and she keeps sucking no i do not know it was kind of you throw one out for me every every when you nut she keeps sucking on the barstool uh twitter me yeah that's it well i text uh joey and he does it for me yeah he has something he leaves on the

table so are you into like leeks or any, like, weird vegetables or any shit like that? Or what's your relationship with Bailey Carlin? No. What are your quirks outside of your Twitter persona? Like your real life. I'm a very boring person. I'll leave it at that. I sit down, I watch sports, I game, and I tweet.

That's basically all I do. Yeah, no, I'm looking at no, I actually recognize your Twitter handle. So you are a sports guy. I like you, Meek Phil. Thank you. Are you Meek? Yeah, you can call me Meek. You can call me Phil.

I really don't care. Are you a Meek person? Are you a coy boy? I don't even know what the word Meek means. Oh, okay. Nice. I like you a lot. You go to college?

I graduated in 2020 Okay, nice Fuck yes, bro I like how you have Like a little disarming chuckle That you throw at the end A little Dr. Hibbert chuckle Yeah, you can say something horrible

But then if you chuckle at the end You chuckle at the end It makes the joke funny Yeah, you're right See, see He's done it again What are your goals at Barstool? Just be funny.

It's working. It's an infectious laugh that you kind of just inject to everybody. What's everyone with the girl drama last week? I still don't know what's going on with any of that. What are you an expert in? I feel like you're like, I don't know what words mean. I don't know what's going on at Barstool. I don't know what a lot of stuff means believe it or that but um no but basically

um mlb i've basically trolled frank about the mets a lot on twitter and that's does he know you i'm i'm pretty sure you know he reached out to me when i got hired he said oh welcome aboard the pirate ship i'm like thanks what a legend yeah dude i'm happy to have you on board i just heard uh your legend precedes you so i I just wanted to kind of meet you in person and kind of get the boys to meet you. You're two weeks now? This is my second week. Okay.

My fault. Oh, wait. Mean girl. Mean girl. Mean girl. Oh, shit. Shut the fuck up. All right.

Go ahead. Go ahead. All right. Cool. Has anybody been like. All right, go ahead. Go ahead. All right, cool. Has anybody been like a cocksucker or an asshole? No, I've not seen it. No one's been an asshole. I tapped you up the first day you got here, right? Maybe like the third.

I forgot. I was dating the same big cat. This boy remembers dates. No, because I remember he was, Meek Phil came when he was out of breath. And he was like, oh, Big Cat. And I was like, yeah, I work here. He's like, I do too. I recognized you.

I was like, oh. Yeah, yeah. I remember thinking in the back of my head, that was an odd interaction. Okay. Yeah. But you recognized him. You did recognize him. Have you recognized anyone else since you've been here?

Oh, yeah. I recognized you. Amazing. Nice to meet you. What about anyone over here? You're Kyle. Kyle, yeah. You're Sand Squatch. Amazing. Nice to meet you. What about anyone over here? You're Kyle. Kyle, yeah. You're Sand Squatch.

Yeah. What about this? That's Brandon. I think I saw Brandon when I had my interview here last month. Okay, nice. I was very welcoming to you. Keep going. And he's here again today.

Nick and your... That's good. That's good. That was a fun game. It was a fun game. The whole game was fun. Thank you, Phil. What about that, dude? The whole game was fun. What about that, dude? The whole game was fun.

You're incognito. Who's who? The guy in the bottom. The guy. Oh, Che? Yeah, that's the Bucs guy. Yeah, that's the Bucs guy. He watches NFL film and pretends to know what he says.

Oh, shit. I like Meek Phil. Meek Phil. Meek Phil. I kind of know. No, he's like a meek dickhead. Yeah. But he also knows facts, but not really.

I know what I say, and I don't know as I say. What? I'm trying to be philosophical. Philosophical. Let's go. You don't get a lot of Phil's. I like Phil. Phil, good name.

I spelled my name with two L's. You do? On purpose? No, I was just named that way. Philip? P-H-I-L-L? Yeah. You're Philip?

Philip, yes. I think you should go with Philip. Bobby Phil. Only my mom calls me Philip. She did. Phil. Okay, Philip. Unbelievable.

Meet Phil. What are you doing, Phil? We got to do it. Yeah, you want to see me get wet? Well, people have been asking if Che can get wet. I feel like I'm going to get wet, but why not? Okay, with your luck. Oh, Che does need to do it. You want to see it get wet? Well, people have been asking if Che can get wet. I feel like in my luck I'm going to get it, but why not? Okay, with your luck. Oh, Che does need to do the wet wheel.

So you know what happens here. Oh, yes, Che does too. Anybody on the show has to spin the wheel. It's you and Che on this one. So if this hits wet. Together? They're together? No, no, no, they're together.

Then if it hits wet. No, no, two separate, two separate. No, no, no. Come on. Listen, this is, two separate. No, no, no. Come on. Listen, we all did one. This is the established wheel, so if you hit wet, then they go head-to-head to see who has to get wet. Okay.

I like it. This is how, you know what I mean? All right. Yeah. All right. If this lands out wet, you have to get wet. Well, maybe. You'll spin again.

Meek Phil with an early win. What have you been having for lunch? I introduced myself to you the other day. Yeah. Yeah, you did. You're a big Oklahoma State fan? No. I'm just holding the thing down.

Is that like calm you? Did you bring that down? No, it was on the school's guy. It's his emotional support helmet. Yeah, that's right. What team's you root for? Don't touch it. Mets, Giants, Knicks.

We needed that. Rangers when I feel like it. So, and you got, you're like trolling Frank, you're getting him going. Yes. Whenever Frank says something like ridiculously pessimistic about the Mets,

I'll be like, Frank, that's ridiculous. They're all at this point on a typo. You say D's and T's. Is that a troll or just like you giving him feedback? It's just me being me, I guess. Yeah, it's Meek Phil.

Classic Meek. I like it too. This is like you think you're saying Meek Mill, but it's actually Meek Phil. And then there's the second twist with two L's. Right. We should start saying that. Oh, yeah, Meek Phil works here. See if we can get some people in like, no way.

And then he comes fucking down the stairs. If you met Meek Mill, I think that the world would collapse on itself. Meek Mill and Meek Phil. Or if you met like Zappu Jones. Yeah, Michael Rubin's yacht. Yeah, let's do that. Meek Phil. Damn. Great to see you, Meek. Yeah, Meek, you're welcome

aboard. I like you. Welcome to the pirate ship, Meek. Your vibe. I did. You got a vibe. Good catch, Meek. I like you. Welcome to the pirate ship, man. Your vibe. I did. You got a vibe. Good catch, man. Hey. Thanks, Phil. Where do you sit? Upstairs? Across from me.

Okay. You can close it. Let's go. I like that guy. He's my new favorite guy in the world. He's up there. He came up to me. It was like 9.30 in the morning, and we walked in together, and he was like, Big Cat. I was like, yeah.

He's like, I'm Meek Phil. I didn't even hear him say it. He's like, I just recognized you. And I was like, yeah. He narrated his recognition. Yeah. We're in the Barstool Sports headquarters. It's like the end of The Wizard of Oz where he's like, you were there too.

And you and you. I just remember walking away from it being like, who is that? And Dave and Erica. It's crazy. They're all here. Oh, my God. Meek Phil. What a legend.

I didn't even know what we were getting into, but I was told that he was onboarded and that we should give Meek Phil a chance. He's great. Great. So we'll do Meek Mondays from here on out. Yeah. Someone told Frank that we don't have a show

on Thursday? Maybe him and Meek Phil can go. Did you notice that he was saying like a dudder and like utter and he kind of used the same dialect

as Frank. Yeah. I also like his troll like it's like your dick. He's responding being like there's a typo in that?

I troll him by saying, fuck yourself. Yeah. He was like, yeah, you're ridiculous. That's his troll. I do recognize his Twitter, which is like, you know, there's just certain people that you're like, oh, I've seen that guy before. What's his picture? It's a dog, I think. So that was my first interaction with him.

He came and moved to the desk next to me, and I was like, oh, I think you follow me on Twitter. And he's like, oh, what's your app? And then he looked me up, and I didn't. And it was just an awkward silence. Oh, yeah, that was funny. He took it personally. Yeah, he definitely did.

But he didn't follow me. He immediately forgot you, though. Prepare to get trolled, brother. You got to troll him back. Oh, we should have done a live trolling with him from the Yak account. Damn it. Yeah, we'll see what he's made of. We'll have him back sometime.

Definitely. Right now? Come back down, Phil. We better not. So I just wanted to get him on board. I don't want to get in the way of you getting 23 people in here. I don't mind crowding the room, but I just wanted him to get his little... We don't have to do that.

A few moments past. There are a ton of people upstairs that have never been on here. Brandon, you want to wrangle a couple? Just get a group? Yeah. They're pretty extroverted. They're social. They're talkative.

It's like bubbling up there now. They are bubbling up there. Those guys run the company parties. What do we want? Three to five? Five to seven? How about two? Two.

Hottest and ugliest. And we'll decide. You have to pick one hot one, and and we'll be able to tell, maybe. So mean. Oh, yeah. Personality-wise, of course. Personality. Don't do that.

Well, now whoever you get, it's going to be assumed. So it's going to be someone that's going to ruin someone's day. Get two twins. Sit back down. They're going to re-watch the episode. Let five minutes pass. Go get two beautiful angels. No, but Kyle's right.

No matter who you Come down with We're gonna be like Someone's in the back Of their head He's gonna let everyone Just kinda Calm down We don't know what we're talking about

Timeline cleanse Right No idea We don't even remember it Yeah Chase We want more cop videos Yeah

I love that kid Man It is kinda fucked up though Don't move What? No when he though. Don't move. What? No, when he shoots people, it says don't move. I thought you were talking about your headphones.

It's a fantastic thing to say. Oh, you weren't here yesterday. Oh, is it the GTA guy? Yeah. I love those videos. We watched them. They're good. I'm obsessed with Seuss. I love how he just uses all the cop words.

Yeah. He calls it in. He walks back to the car. Did we watch the one with the fat black woman that he pulled over? No. Is he actually calling somebody? Is there somebody who's cosplaying a dispatcher? No, I don't think so.

Why not? I don't think so. That would be so fucking boring. I didn't even know you could pull someone. What's a modded server? I heard TJ's already better at your't think so. It's going to be so yay in a year or so, but I don't think – like I didn't even know you could pull someone. What's a modded server? I heard TJ is already better at your game than you. He is. He's not.

Me and my friends got a huge win yesterday, and then we almost won like six times. What was the win? 72. Bitch. What are you? I don't know. I haven't played ranked yet.

Exactly. Talk to me when you're ranked. Did you go for a run this morning? I did. You seem like you got runners high. Well, no. I mean, just TJ's coming after me. No, but you do.

You have that vibe. I'm going to start going to the Rutgers games. Oh, you should. Sit in the student section. It's on Saturday. I'm going to. They suck, though. They're bad.

That's what Tech Guy Andrew told me to do. He was like, you should start going to the Rutgers games and streaming them. Tech Guy Andrew betrayed TJ? He did. Holy fuck. He said TJ was stealing my phone. Can I say something to you guys? Why did your voice tremble?

Where'd you get that? We have a bunch of them in now. Do we? Can I say something to you guys? I didn't know. We got a delivery on it? Yes. Because I think Pete's guys were hoarding them.

Really? That's what you want to say to us? No, they were. I watched them grabbing. I have it on camera of them grabbing a case and then getting in a confrontation when somebody called them out. They squirreled them away. They stored them away, and they have their own supply.

That guy's got a very tiny bag. Yeah, it is a little bag. What do they order for lunch? I need to find out. All right, Nick, go ask him. One pill? You want me to go ask him what's in the bag? I don't think he's delivering that bag.

I think that's... It looks like a gift. Just go ask for the bag. Is he here to take the bag? Is he here to propose to somebody? Just ask for the bag. Don't ask for the man. Ask for the bag.

Jay, what's up? Look at how small that bag is. Yup. He's doing it. Nick's nervous. Off one. Oh, and with Meek Phil. Yeah, I know.

Next time, buddy. Damn. All right. Salsa. I don't like how this guy's chewing his gum. He needed someone else to take an L. He's not giving him the bag, either. This guy is giving Nick nothing.

I'm going to go get it. I'll go get it. I'm going to give him a little version of that. Finish the job. Finish the job. There's no way that gum's not giving them the bag either. This guy is giving Nick nothing. I'm going to go get it. I'll go get it. I'm going to give him a little version. Finish the job. Finish the job. There's no way that gum's not delicious. Right? What happened?

It's a bag for Uncle Chaps. Oh, well, you can get it. That's what I'm going to get. Watch this. I got it. It's a literal purple heart. I've been here for a fucking cup of coffee. I've been here to get the bag.

You've been here for five minutes. He stood up for Big Cat. Open it, open it, open it, open it, open it, open it. We're a theft show now. He must have recognized you. What the fuck are you doing here? What's in here? Look at him chew hard.

Can we all feel it and make a guess? Yeah, yeah. This guy's chewing. Look, Chaps is going up the bag. Pass her a limit. Let us feel it. Look at that guy. I don't think Chaps knows that's his guy.

Yeah, because he's looking at the bag. Oh, Chaps doesn't know that's the guy. That guy doesn't know. That guy doesn't know. Chaps doesn't know. And that guy doesn't know Chaps. This is not true. He thinks that's his guy.

He thinks that's his guy? What is this? Oh, no. What is going on? Wait, so is this He thinks that's his guy. He thinks that's his guy? What is this? Oh, no. What is going on? Wait, so is this just a random ass delivery guy? Wait, what's this guy? He's coming in. He's coming in.

Who are you here for? I'm meeting Uncle Chaps. Oh, that's him. He's looking for you because you don't have a bag. Chaps! I had a bag. Keeper? I am the keeper of sorts.

What? Get out of the fucking head of the mic. Chaps, you're dismissed. Why? I'm the one of sorts. What? Chaps, you're dismissed. Why? I'm the one that wanted the fucking honey. He's the brain keeper. This is the first time you talk to me and kick me out when you ask me what's in the bag. All right, Chaps. I'm not leaving.

All right, let's get it. Honey guy. Get in your corner, Brandon. I love this. Did you see that comment when I stole it from you? Honestly, that was pretty slick. Thank you. All right, I'm going to give it back.

I'm going to be nice. Okay. All right, so Chaps, is it for your fucked up eyes? No, it's not for my fucked up eyes, Dan. I mean, it can be for anything. It's because I like it. Oh, yeah. Like what?

You're a beekeeper? I'm not actually a beekeeper. But do you have bees? I don't have my own bees. Do you have someone else's bees? I have honey, which comes from bees. And then we provide honey to people who need it for all sorts of things. Eyes stuff. Fucked up eyes.

You know. Allergies. Allergies. What are you getting the honey for? Allergies. Wait, so is it special honey? It's very special honey. Can we see it?

Absolutely. Well, can we? Chaps, can you do an unboxing? Did you pay for it? She did an unboxing. How much money for it? You should do an unboxing. How much money was it? Let's go no gum. Let's go no gum.

They're asking you to stop chewing the gum. No, I think you should chew it louder. I kind of think you're a gum guy more than a honey guy. You're more of a gum guy than a honey guy. People are saying the gum. Wait, what is your name? We missed your name. They said crumple this paper into the mic too.

So... Honey. Honey. The proper term is hazy honey. What? Oh, it's medicinal. You're hitting the honey? It's medicinal, honey.

There is 100 milligrams of THC. That's THC, honey? Let's get it. Oh, so this is weed. Wait, you're a drug dealer. You're a drug dealer. Oh, fuck. I am sorry.

Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. We blew up your spot. We are so... My bad. Oh, shit. Damn, blew up your spa. We are so... My bad. Oh, shit. Damn, we're easy, honey. Let me...

Oh, fuck. Let me see. Is this honey? Let me try a little bit of that. What if Roan just dumped the whole thing? Can we taste it? Do you eat it? Oh, this is good.

You eat it, you put it in tea, you put it on food with anything. Oh, wow. That's awesome. All right, cool. So it's like... All right. What about do you sell like weed? Yeah. Like actual like... Flour.. Oh, wow. That's awesome. All right, cool. So it's like, what about do you sell like weed? Yeah.

Like actual like- Flour. Flour, yes. Okay, so we got it all. There's a range of a menu. There's actually a card in there that you can scan the QR code. Love it. Takes you to our menu.

It takes you to our Instagram. We're Burning Bush. That's the name of the company. Nice. Biblical. Nice. Biblical, yes. That's right.

We're a Jewish company. I was about to say, are you Jewish? Oh, wow. I am Jewish. Oh, yes. Yes. I was about to say, are you Jewish? Oh, wow. I am Jewish. Yes. I heard a ton of people doing like work and presents. Welcome. Everything's kosher, 100%.

You're free to leave whenever you want. KB's a huge anti-Semite. Well, that. I mean, we could talk about that if you want. Oh, shit. Maybe outside. Maybe you could talk outside about it. No.

That's cool. No. He looks like he you can talk outside about it. That's cool. No. He looks like he has a strong base for wrestling. Where's Chaps going with that honey? Wait, where's Chaps? Chaps just left.

Another one stole the bag and ran. I was going to go try the honey. Oh, okay. Well, Sam, thank you. I'm sorry. Did Chaps prepay for that?

Did he? No. He didn't yet. There's a gift. Yikes. Oh, Chaps. Good call,? Did he? No. He didn't yet. There's a gift. Yikes. Oh, Chaps. Good call, Sal. I'm not going to try to run.

I'm a man of integrity. Is that right? Wow. But I am expecting an Instagram story tagging our account. I'm telling you this right now. We didn't discuss this before, but I'm putting you on the spot for that. What is it? I'm putting you on right now.

What do you want me to do? Burning Bush underscore New York. And then I don't have to pay? Oh. Oh. Wait. All don't have to pay? Oh. Oh. Wait. All right. Let's talk about that.

All right. Sorry. I'm going to bounce because I feel like. Yeah. Sam, thank you. Sorry that I. Nice to meet all you guys. No worries.

You know, busted you. And can people like patronize your business or what? Yeah. Burning Bush and NYC. All right. That's the new Bush and NYC. All right. That's the new tacos and titties. All right. Ramp them up.

We're going to get on it. Thank you, Sam. Bye. What a plot twist. What a twist. I thought it was a simple honeymonger. That was awesome. I mean, did you guys not think drug dealer from a second?

Whoa. He was talking quiet. Whoa. I'm just talking the way I always talk. Relax. He was obviously a drug dealer from the second he got here. So did you guys not think that he was a drug dealer? You thought he was obviously a drug dealer?

I had, yeah. He was hanging out in the lobby for a sec. I don't think he was obviously a drug dealer at all. I didn't think he was a drug dealer at all. That was hilarious. But New York weed dealers are crunchy. We called him Hazy Honey. Hazy Honey, yeah. Should have known right then.

Steve, first drug dealer you ever seen? Live? No, no, I've seen other ones. Oh, nice. Not that many. Are you going to call the cops? If you had to describe a drug dealer in your brain, what would you picture him?

We should have the security guard take him down. Yeah, we should. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, Nick would look like anything. A lot of them actually, I feel like, look like you, Nick. Oh. That is no Stephen Wright. A lot of drug dealers look like Nick.

Anti-Italian discrimination. That guy, Sam, actually looked a lot like you. He did. I said that when you were out there talking to him. Whoa. I look like that guy? Yeah. No, I'm not pissed. You remind me like you. He did. I said that when you were out there talking to him. Whoa. I look like that guy? Yeah. No, I'm not pissed.

You remind me of you. It wasn't like the appearance. Something about... I don't know. Word, word, word, word, word. I don't think you look like him. I look like him. When you took off your glasses... No, dude. When you took off your glasses today,

it's just a reminder of how stunningly blue your eyes are. Yeah, you are. I took off my glasses and Trent, of all a reminder of how stunningly blue your eyes are. Yeah, you are. Whenever you take those things off. No, I took off my glasses and Trent, of all people, was like, you look mousy. Mousy? Yeah, mousy. Take them off. You remember the hate more than you remember the love, though.

Mousy, yeah, you are. More ratty. Yeah. Full-grown mouse. That's right. Mice are... Mice grow up to rats. They're baby rats. They hatch from their chrysalis. Oh, man. I can't stop looking at Che.

Let's go get an ugly and a hottie. No, now we need five more minutes. Five more minutes now. We had just gotten through. All right, all right. Let's do it. Shut up. At 145, I'm getting up unannounced, and I'm going to do it.

To get two hot people. Yes, that's better. Yes, two hot people, yes. So maybe one's a little hotter than the other. Of course. You can't be two equally hot. Now we're at 146, so I'm going to have five minutes. Five-minute break, right?

Yes. Before we make any decisions. Go get two hot people. Go get people that have the exact same looks on the scale. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They can both be twos or both be nines. Do a 7-10 split. Oh, yeah.

Compliment to both. The hardest three-some to achieve. The 7-10. The hardest to pick up. It's honestly not as difficult as you would think. It's not as hard as you would think. Yes, it is. Misconception.

Brandon just picks any excuse to just leave the show. He's going to go eat Chick-fil-A. He's antsy. He's a little antsy. Why is he so antsy? Yeah, when is the bowling game happening? Oh. That's soon. Steven, are you going to be able to do it?

Yeah, we had it scheduled for tomorrow. It looks doubtful given my situation. What is your situation? Tom Brady retiring? You're retired? Oculus? I'm in the protocol. Concussion?

Oculus? I did have to. Now, Steven, I'm not going to judge you because I do know you like, you know, kids and everything. And you got different child care things. But when you texted us and you said you've been testing every day, you're poor nostrils, dude. You what? Don't you do the same thing?

No, I have not tested for COVID in like months. It's probably blown out like a porn star's pussy. Yeah. This is the most you've ever done to cocaine. You got red sock nostrils. You think I test every day? His nostrils are dangling out. I thought that you did. cocaine. You got red sock nostrils. You think I test every day? I thought that you did. A prolapsed nostril.

I actually got sick a couple weeks ago. I was like, I'm not testing. I'm over this. And I didn't have it. Yeah, that sucks. Jay, you're still going to LA? Yeah, I should be fine by then. You better be.

When do you get a bowl? What's the backup date? You're still going to L.A.? Yeah, I should be fine by then. You better be. I have to test negative like two years in a row. What's the backup date? What do you mean backup date? For bowling. I don't know. We're figuring it out. I mean, I actually feel I didn't really have any symptoms, but I feel 100% right now. Wow.

These two might even be a couple. Yeah. Steven, what? Oh. You have no symptoms? Not after this. I have no symptoms. All right. Good. Good. Yeah, then I don't give a fuck. You will you have no symptoms? Not after this. I have no symptoms. Gabby, if you will go sit over there.

Hello, Gabby. If you stand right here. These people are on Steve Chase's add-ons. Oh, I met you. Steven, look, we got your team in here. What's up, Gabby? You got to put on your headphones if you want to hear him. Joe, you won't be able to hear him, unfortunately.

We'll relay if he says anything. All right, sounds good. Was that a wink you just winked at me? So where do we want to start? Should we start with the wet wheel? Oh, yeah. Welcome to the show. Let's spin the wheel.

Spin the wheel. If this gets wet, you guys are both going to have to. Not the wet wheel. Yeah, the wet wheel. The wet wheel, yes. Don't worry. The odds are in your favor. Look at us. Dry as a bone. You guys are on the AdOps team. Can we somehow sell the wheel?

Good question. Let's spin the wet wheel by talking. You guys are both dry. Very dry. We did sell the show, though. We did sell the show. To who? It'd be funny if we just sold it to someone totally different.

Oh, do the ad. Yeah, we sold it to BuzzFeed. Yeah, we sold it. And none of us are on it anymore. Bird Dogs joggers are awesome. They send us a bunch, and they come with built-in silky soft inner liner that's basically underwear and never rides up. They're the most comfortable joggers ever. Wouldn't you say so?

They really are. Yeah, they really are. Go to birddogs.com, enter promo code YAK, and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs beanie, birddogs.com, promo code YAK, and boom, a free Bird Dogs beanie with your pair of Bird Dogs. Stay warm and comfortable in your Bird Dogs. Ooh.

Good job. Beanies look great. Oh, my gosh And the pants are so comfortable KB's wearing them right now Yeah look at that I wore mine this morning I'm visibly comfortable

Yeah you are So alright So how long have you guys been here? Since May Yep I knew that Joe August So we knew that

Yeah It's almost a year Coming up on a year Yeah And you Steven's been your boss The whole time You were in that meeting.

Yeah, because I'm Steven's boss. So I'm your guy's boss. So no more tucked into the jeans look. All right, we'll do it. I like it. Don't blouse it. Way better.

There we go, Joe. That's what I want. He's more relaxed. Stephen Chay is a nerd. Stephen Chay is pissed. Fair. He's pissed off. It's not casual Friday.

Don't fuck, Joe. All right, do you guys like working here? I love it. Do you like the new space upstairs? I love it. Who's kind of in charge socially upstairs? Have you noticed anybody kind of taking the reins as far as like who's more talkative? Who's like running things?

It's definitely a lot louder now that people from the second floor up there. Oh, who's up there? It's pretty quiet up there. Oh, like Owen? Like Owen. Do you know Owen? Notoriously loud guy. How's it going?

Going good. Who's the loudest? Tell us the loudest. I met you at the company party. Loudest? Yeah. Up there? Yeah.

I don't know. I imagine Dukes. Probably Dukes. No, I heard Jake is kind of a culture leader up there. Jake Malasek. Yeah. Oh, you don't think so, Joe? I don't know.

You know, the new side is a bit bigger than the old one, so I think the power dynamics are shifting. So are you on the new side? I'm on the new side. Are you on the new side? Have you guys formed a crew? Well, we had a pretty nice spot on the old side, but then they moved us to the new side. You didn't answer my question.

Have you formed a crew? Well, we have our little sales team. Yeah, they have a crew. They have a crew. Chill. Let's get all of them in here. Chill the fuck out. I'm looking to expand my crew.

That would be awesome. You're making her uncomfortable. What do you think would happen if Brandon went up there right now and just started stripping? People would probably be so buried in their laptops they wouldn't even look. What if Brandon just walks up there shirtless?

Shirtless. Would people puke? Let's put Brandon's phone in his back pocket and he walks up there shirtless. Spy cam it, Brandon. Go ahead. Why me? I wouldn't have got these two. You're good at going up there. Go up there and walk around without there shirtless. Spy cam it, Brandon. Go ahead. Why me? I went and got these two. Because you're good at going up there. Go up there and walk around without your shirt on.

You have a nice natural bod. He's going to do it. Just your shirt off, yeah. Do you not want me to do it? No, do it. No, actually give Gabby or Joe your phone and they'll walk behind you with the spy cam. I think back pocket spy cam. Spy cam is easy to set up. If it drops, we don't see it.

I want to see everyone's reaction. Go ahead, Brandon. Take off your shirt. You look like scary tall right now. He looks so fucking tall. Are you standing on something? What the fuck? Are you 10 feet tall?

All right, so who's going to hold it? Are you good going undercover, Brandon? Joe, you got it. Joe, you got this, Joe. I'm just going to walk behind him. Here we go. Hi, how are you? Whoa, you got it. Joe, you got this, Joe. I'm just going to walk behind him. Here we go. Whoa. Don't touch him.

What the fuck? All right, what's the worst part about Steve and Che? He's not listening. He's off the call. Yeah, he's off. Che cams down. No, I love Steve. He's the best call to him.

Steve? He's gone. You call him Steve? You guys all call him Steve? Yeah. What? I sign all my emails, Steve. I go by both.

I don't read your emails. He said he signs all his emails, Steve. I blocked my block. Do you want an email? Steve? Yeah. What? I sign all my emails, Steve. I go by both. I don't read your emails. He said he signs all his emails, Steve. I blocked you on email. Steve? Don't you think it's important to kind of audit your boss the way that your boss audits you, though? Any kind of good constructive criticism or feedback you could give to him? I mean. I'd imagine he talks a lot about himself and never really asks you open-ended questions about your life how you're doing it's all about like you know the box his diet his kid his kids yeah

once a week yeah what does he what does he add to that chat everything you know like what are you doing this weekend like personal stuff how's life oh that's a good one yes how's that one how how fast do you think Stephen Chay is? Like running? Yeah. I bet he's like pretty fast probably. Like 4'5", 40? 4'6". 4'4"?

My question is if... No, slower than that. No, like probably like right around there. 4'4"? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. If Stephen winds up getting his desired position,

switching over to content, as you all know he did, who's going to kind of take control of the team? Yeah. Has there been that conversation? Succession? Yeah, like have you guys? Joe, do you have any idea, Joe? Yeah, looking at it.

I talked to everybody when that was coming up. I'm not sure. Steven, please don't interrupt. We're talking to your people. Joe was not here when'm not sure. Steven, please don't interrupt. We're talking to your people. Joe was not here when that all happened. Oh, Joe wasn't here? Or maybe he was a stud. Yeah.

He was here. Jay, don't say that about Joe. Yeah. Fuck. What the hell are you doing, Steven? How much water is that? My word. 50 ounce.

He's a weird guy, isn't he? Is he your weirdest boss you've ever had? He's definitely weird guy, isn't he? Is he your weirdest boss you've ever had? He's definitely the most unique. Like I've never had a boss that has a podcast, you know? Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. He's a unique, unique guy. Interesting.

I feel like you guys are being a little bit reserved, and I don't mean to come at you, but I feel like you think that their guards should be up like this? Yeah, I think that's the natural. That's human of them. Steven's taking notes. All right. Well, wait, do we have Brandon? Are you going to do it?

He's trying to link it up. All right, Brandon will do it. You guys are dismissed. Thank you very much. This was informative. Sorry about Tom Brady getting retired because that's bad for Steven. So Steven will be doing a lot more ads and less content. Where are you guys from?

He's going to be on your ass. Jersey. Jersey. Long Island. Strong Island. Yep. Not too bummed about Brady, though. I'm a Jet fan, and that's a life sentence.

Yeah. Yeah. But, Steven, you do realize, like, that's – It's like when your parents come home from a long vacation. Wait, are you connected to the spy cam? Oh, here we go. Is Joe handling the camera for me? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. All right, so take off your shirt. Well, make sure the camera works. Turn on the camera. Where was it? Gabby, shield your eyes. He's going to take his shirt off. Are you doing the ass cam?

No, I think you're going to do the ass cam. I think the ass cam won't work. It will just like. Recording in progress. Okay. There we go. There just like... There we go. There we go. Thank you, Gabby. Take your shirt off.

I'll do it. Be a little discreet. You gotta take it off when you get up there. Be discreet, too. Be discreet, Joe. Gotta pretend like you're just... He has the same body as, like, those ancient Venus, the Venus of Willendorf.

Oh, my God. Those sculptures. He's like when Will Ferrell tries to get really fat. Joe is not being discreet at all. Joe, be discreet. Be discreet. No, he's made his way. He's got the phone out here.

What else can he do? No one will suspect him. He just has to be slightly a little maybe limp. Alright, here he goes. I was really filming him. I guess if he maybe backs up.

Joe, Joe, Joe. Back up. Yeah, let him get some space. This is great. People are going to puke. Imagine if someone actually... Someone throws up. Someone projectiles on it.

Someone just jumps through the fucking window. Joe, I need you ten feet behind. No, he's doing good. He's doing good. He's doing all right. He's doing all right. Because we want to get this. But it's like...

What's going on there? A little party? A little party? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is Jay still on? Let's actually get to get this. What's going on there? A little party? Is Jay still on? Let's actually get to the bottom. Oh, no. That's his hitting on pose. Why is his jeans bulging?

Oh, no, Brandon. He's wrecked. Fully. All right, see ya. Can they hear us? Yeah. Joe, can you hear us? Yeah. Uh-oh. Joe, can you hear us? Yep. Uh-oh.

Oh, fuck. Shit. Loud and clear. Oh, damn it. That's fine. Mute us, mute us, mute us, mute us. Let us talk shit about you. Joe goes loud and clear.

Brandon's talking to them. You just go, he's a wreck. Oh, this is really nice, this side of the office. Oh, that's Brian Fitzsimmons. You can't do that to Fitzy. Fitzy. Fitzy's actually kind of the king up there, I would imagine. I would say so.

Damn, the office is big upstairs. It's huge. How do they build that so fast? Look at them. Oh, they're looking. They're laughing at each other. These titties? Brandon, go press your titties to one of the conference windows.

Yes. Yeah. On that show. Tell him, oh, I think we're muted. They're laughing at each other. These titties? Brandon, go press your titties to one of the conference windows. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Call Matt Joe. Tell him, oh, I think we're muted. That's the whole finance team. That's it?

That's all we got? Those are the people that refuse to give Brandon a raise. Brandon, go. We need Brandon to press his titties. He looks like someone who is, like, completely insane and is just walking around. Yeah, look at him. We can't hear you. He's awaiting instruction.

Go press your titties to a conference window. On the glass. Titties on glass. A whole conference window. Press your titties on the glass. Titties. Titties on glass. Titties on the glass.

T on G. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Press them. He's done all this and you won't go titty to glass? There's a room right there that's two sides glass. There we go. That one.

There's no conference going on. Are there people in there? No, you need to do it with people in there. You need a conference. That's it. They're disgusting. He's an ugly brute. He's on full brute mode.

He's just walking around. Look at that bar. Full brute mode. The bar. Holy fuck. Come on. No full conferences? No.

Oh, man. Oh, jeez. Who's this guy? We broke up a drug deal. This is a good camera angle, though. It's a clean shot. Brandon, just leave him alone. Oh, gross.

That guy's trying to eat. Look at the roll on his side. I bet you Brandon doesn't know what's in... Oh! Oh! Okay. Looks like a sword wound. Looks like where Christ got stabbed.

Water poured out. That's solid. Yeah, he's... I'm coming down now? Yeah. He has That's solid. Yeah, he's... I'm coming down now? Yeah. He has a divot. Yeah, you can come down. What's the divot for?

What's your body divot? Where? Under your left titty. Yeah, right there. Up a little. What is that? Down a little. Just come down a little.

No, down a little. What's that indent? Right there. Yeah. That's where Christ... Wait a minute. Do that again. That's where it crashed. Wait a minute. Do that again. That looked like a minion.

Wait, let's go to a different floor. I want him to play dead. That would be awesome. Like the business on the sixth floor. What was that? I don't know. Kelly Martin threw something at him. I think someone threw a shirt at him.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. A Brandon playing dead on the elevator would rule. Actually, flip it. Have Joe do something. No one would suspect him. Good. What a cut. What a camera cut.

That was really nice, TJ. Good job by Joe. Yeah, look at Joe finishing the job. Joe. Joe is much to be- I feel like we freed Joe, letting him untuck that shirt. Look out, yeah.

No one wants to have a shirt tucked into their jeans. He's the happiest he's ever been. He's going to come in with eyeliner and lipstick on. Yeah. He's just really... Green hair Joe.

Hey, Dan, I just wanted to thank you. You don't know what you did. You liberated me. All right. Tussle his hair. Thank you, Joe. That's Josephine now.

Oh, man. Joe's a fiend. Oh. Oh. Steven just popping back up there. Brandon, good work. Good work. 10X.

Brandon, 10X. 10X, brother. 10X. 10X. What was the finance team saying? He put on with the titties. Some didn't like it at all. Yeah, I mean, you're ugly.

Who? Oh, Jesus. And also, they should be fired for that. You're in content, and what the fuck is their opinion mean? They shouldn't have been talking to me anyway. Dead ass, though. I'm the goddamn one of them. What, are they going to be like, oh, don't do a fucking wacky thing?

Kelly Martin threw a shirt at me and said you look ugly. I knew it was her. Didn't I call it it was her throwing that shirt? She threw a shirt at me. Yeah. You should have gone up there with your shirt off and just screamed, don't look at me at everyone that looks at you. Well, you could have told me to do that, and I would have done it.

We want you to play dead on the elevator, naked. But I want you curled up like a fossil, like a trilobite. And covered in goo. Just like a trilobite. Like Superman. Like a fetal position? Me and my friends used to trilobite each other yeah just a gooey

naked trilobite like when Superman came to earth and they just like found him like curled up in a field like when Austin Powers unthaws

yes I want you naked in a beanbag chair that's when you look most like a fossil curl up on a beanbag chair what's with the the wound though

you have like a stigmata of where Jesus got stabbed on the cross. Yes, you do. It's Will Ferrell's body. Just a believer. I don't know. You are just a believer.

But if you roll back the tape, there was when you were scrunched up in the chair. There's a lot of folds. There's a lot of folds that I didn't used to have. Yeah. Previces. Remember when you were on that diet that one day and then you wouldn't eat the hot dog? I would eat one now

if you order one. Yeah. I'm going to order hot dogs for lunch. Let's get the lupus. I love this. I need more camera. A round of the lupus.

Oh, I would go with the lupa. Let's do it. Let's have them on Friday. Friday. God damn. Friday's getting

loaded, guys. We don't have any food. We don't have a food option. My tuxedo shirts came in for Tommy Walker. Fantastic. We need him to have a... Can. We don't have a food option. My tuxedo shirts came in for Tommy Walker. Fantastic.

Do we have a skinny mic? Do whatever you want to, Tommy. Don't shave his head. Does he want that? Shaved head is the new look of the year. Walkers don't do well with shaved heads. Yeah. Skin to do.

Shaved is a little bit of a... Oh, we'll do skinheads. Well, maybe he... SIT. Skinhead and training. Steven. Yes. That's such a terrible day for you.

You gave me so many flashbacks to when you would facetime me yeah oh yeah i'm gonna just laugh at me for about 20 seconds and hang up yeah it was coming back you guys stink again you're you're never gonna be relevant again don't you wish you were a little less cocky the past two years yeah we were saying oh i wish i was more cocky ron and i were saying it was it's the perfect it's the perfect. It's like basically everything that happened is perfect because it would suck if you just sucked all the time. We got to see a glimpse of it, and we hated it, and now you're going back to sucking.

It's kind of nice. I'm honestly happy for you that you got one. It's always nice that someone gets one, and now you just kind of have to suck shit with the rest of us. What was that? Two? I mean, yeah, we have two. Right, but you got one.

Yeah. Yeah, no, it was nice. I've already started, like, spinning this in my head and being like, well. Oh, you? No way. Well, it was really nice with Tom at quarterback, but, like, I wasn't as, like, I wasn't, like, nervous or juiced up for every game. Now I'm going to be, like, extra juiced up for, game. Now I'm going to be like extra juiced up for you know week

two. All the losses. Yeah. The journey is the journey you know. Beautiful. That is beautiful. That was poetic. Alright anything else? We got anything else boys? That was nice. That was very nice. Chad's telling me that Apex Legends rank 72 is not a real thing.

Oh. Oh my god God. Harry. Did you think you were going to get away with that? The rank system goes bronze, silver, gold. I'm gold then. I'm gold then. I'm level 72. I have the gold banner around my level.

Wow. I thought that's what you meant. I don't know. I haven't played ranked yet. I have no idea. He's going to play ranked. He's going to beat your ass. Sash is a pathological liar.

That's not true. Did you get the booger? I'll be out tomorrow. Oh, yeah. We've got to pull up Frank's thumbnail. Yeah, I was just speaking to Frank. I'll be out tomorrow. I think we can find somebody.

Okay. Find somebody. What do you mean? Let's take Thursdays, not take Wednesdays. Right, but Thursday we don't have any. Right, but let's take Thursdays. The alliteration. Willie Cologne Wednesday.

Willie Cologne Wednesday. Willie Cologne Wednesday. So today's your last day until Friday. Wow. Yeah. Are you ready? Your next yak is going to be the biggest yak of your life. Biggest yak of my life. Might have to get a tattoo.

I was thinking about what tattoos you guys are going to get. I was maybe going to get a ping pong ball. I'm going to get 10X. Oh, 10X. I'm going to get a ping pong ball. I might do a ping pong ball. Should we be able to decide ourselves? Yeah, I think so.

You're getting a tattoo. I don't think it's... It shouldn't be a punishment tattoo. That one's going to be a... But it has to be yak related? Yeah, I think so. You're getting a tattoo. I don't think it's... It shouldn't be a punishment tattoo. But it has to be yak-related. Yes, that's fair. But maybe we come up with three or four tattoos that you choose from. No, but I think yak-related is fair. It has to be something like, you know, 10 eggs.

We all have to approve it. Okay. So you can't do something... It can't be any size. Full back piece of a shark eating a duck. Full back piece. Yep. Like Affleck.

But the Affleck duck would be a sick tattoo. Nick's dad with a raging boner. I think I'll be fatty. What for a doofus? Fatty. 10x will be tough to explain a few years down the road.

Nick's dad with a raging boner looking at a playboy. Compared to what? Like my dad just fucking a chick tattooed on me. This is my dad fucking a chick. That's how she is.

Oh, word. Oh, okay. All right. Okay, good stuff. I feel like that was good.

That was a good show. That was a good show. That was a great show. Oh, there it is. Tank, got you in there. Good stuff. That was a good show. That was a great show. Oh, there it is. Tank got you in the regard. He did that purpose. He had to have done that purpose. I don't think so.

He didn't know you were in there. He doesn't know you at all. Can you see how much of the tip of the finger is missing? A lot. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's not even in. You're good. You're good. You're good. Oh, wow. no, no. It's not even in. It's not even in.

You're good. You're good. You're good. Oh, wow. That's nothing. It's not even in. Ain't nothing. The face is really good.

Why are you so mad at it? Yeah. I think I just went like this. Not with that face. You were like. That face, you got a crusty. All right. All right.

See everyone tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Alright Alright See everyone tomorrow It's the act That's time to talk, shop, and do

Yankee pop is the act It's the act Thank you.