The Yak - The Pit of Oobleck is Here | The Yak 7-12-24

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

Big Cat is back and crushing crosswordsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, it's the Yak. I'm back. Hey, Mark. Yeah. Mark. Hey. Mark.

Yeah. Roback.com. I know. I feel that way, too. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com.

Promo code Yak. Hello, everyone. I'm very excited to be back. back i missed you very much how was vacation chill week um we actually kind of fucked up and we didn't really put any time to chill was chill week tougher than grit week it was it was more intense for the three days they were on chill week but we were literally in the car going to the airport last night we get back to like two in the morning it was like we kind of forgot to chill so uh next year we're gonna chill next year we're gonna figure out a time more time content's gonna be dog shit then yeah but just one day like we finished all of our interviews yesterday we're like would it be sick if we're on a boat right now yeah so did you have any fun oh i had a great time you golfed you played disc

golf no golf uh frisbee golf nice actually the technical term oh um froth froth no it's disc golf um no it's frisbee golf and there's a lot of courses in the chicagoland area yeah so let's go play maybe you should start something up. Okay. Yeah. Don't get sassy. Are you talking with your head? I have a bone to pick with you.

I'll get to you. Stop, mister. We frisbee golfed. We wakeboard. Well, we unsuccessfully wakeboarded. You got drugged by a boat. We got drugged by a boat. And then we did a shitload of interviews, and it was awesome.

And I caddied for Blake Griffin which that video will come out in a little bit that was fun your swing is getting lampooned on Twitter for people that think it's real because it was posted on a different Twitter it's so good especially because it's like it's not just me doing

the straight legs it's not me just doing the straight legs by myself, I don't know if you can find it. It's not me just doing the straight legs by myself. This is like a big celebrity tournament, and they asked me to do it, and there's like a bunch of people mad that I'm even there. Really? Who is this guy? This is a sacred celebrity event. Also, this shot, it went like 70 yards directly into a tree.

It was a long drive competition. I think there had been nine people had gone that day, and they updated the leaderboard after I went, and I was eighth. One guy went like 110 yards. I beat him. But, yeah, it was a good time. Got great interviews. How was the weather?

Somebody called it visual AIDS, I think. Yeah. Yeah, people were very upset uh weather was immaculate no you guys ever been to tahoe yeah last summer it was the life best it's fucking heaven i'd only been to the north side i admit like it's insane i i guess you do have to remember forest fires is that the only downside and how often does that happen there was a bear that almost attacked max, which would have been awesome. What?

Yeah. Yeah, we were caddying and Blake went to take a piss. And he was like, oh shit, there's a bear. And then Max went to go video the bear. And the woman was like, that bear has two cubs and is very aggressive. Ah. And Max was like, he was like, I got to get the shot. And was like, get it really close.

I'll die for this. You guys should cut it from the video. I mean, that's such a city guy thing to be like, oh, a bear, let me get as close as possible. Saw a coyote, could have absolutely killed it. Yeah, you sent us that. Yeah, you could have fucked it up. A bitch.

It was Brandon that was a big defender of coyote, we'll fuck you up. Well, he doesn't even work here anymore. Yeah. Brandon, he's been a big baby last night. Was he? Yeah, he wants the EA Sports game early. Like just him?

Yeah, he wants the special. I will say he has the time on his hands right now to play it. I respect what you've done in media. I'll do the Fasoli tweet if I have to. Do you have access? Can you get it early? We are playing a stream on Sunday night, which is two days early, but EA

is bringing the console. We're playing it, and then they're leaving with the console. So it's like, Brandon, I don't even have... I'm only doing this because it's an ad deal. He just wants me to be like, call EA Sports and be like, Brandon Walker really needs the game now.

Two days early. Two days early. Yeah. Is there a benefit to getting it first and starting before people? He wants to be the best. Yeah, I think so. I think he just also wants to – I think he thinks this game is personally being made for him and him only.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everybody that's excited for that does think that. Yeah. But, yeah, he was mad about this. Sketch. Sketch. Sketch got out of Mississippi State. Wait, what is this?

So they're doing, like, an early, like, stream release schedule this weekend where all these people are streaming. Like, Soder and Gillis are going to stream, I think, right before us. So, like, 5 to 7 Central Sunday night, PFT and I are going to get in the game and tool around. What a lineup. It's amazing. Yeah. It's very.

Who's the Michigan State guy? Sketch. No, that's. Oh. Wait, is Sketch Mississippi State? It looks like. Yeah, he is. Is that Mississippi State?

Yes. Yeah, that's Mississippi State. Why did Sketch pick Mississippi State? He went there. He went Sketch Mississippi State? Yeah, he is. Is that Mississippi State? Yeah, that's Mississippi State. Why'd Sketch pick Mississippi State? He went there. He went to Mississippi State? He's the Mississippi State guy. That's just the number one Mississippi State guy. I always think Mississippi State's Sketch. Yeah, of course.

Oh, my God. I never even put that together. Wow, okay. He represents Mississippi State. Yeah, I don't know who MMG is. MMG. TJ, do you know who it is? He's a YouTuber.

Oh. I knew that. I could tell from the context clues here. I miss you guys, though, a lot. A lot? We missed you. Did you see anything that was like, wow, that reminds me of Kate? Yeah, Jason Kelsey.

Oh, okay. There we go. No, we actually, i brought you up oh did you remember me yeah he was like she's a badass i was like yeah yeah i was happy for max yeah you could tell he was trying to play it cool but he was max was so nervous when jason kelsey came so we were out on the golf course max called me it sounded like um a house was on fire he's breathing so heavy he's like like, Jason Kelsey's here. Jason Kelsey's here.

He's like, get back here right now. It's like, dude, we're doing something right now. You're okay. But you were expecting him, correct? No, he was doing an interview with ESPN, which we were sharing space with. And I was like, Max, just play it cool. You got this, dude.

And he's like, no, you got to get back. You got to get back. So we got back. Jason Kelsey was doing an interview maybe 20 feet away. Max was so so nervous he was fiddling with his credit card in his pocket and he cut his thumb and was bleeding that is so sweet though yeah and i had a great moment because he's incredible but the rams are so depleted oh we're here mmg yeah he was just freaking out and then took checking the weather app to a whole new level yeah the best first of all jason kelsey knows who max is i think he was thinking like he wouldn't

know because we've hung out with him once with chris long and so uh he was just nervous that like jason kelsey wouldn't jason kelsey knows when you have a super fan that's so obsessive and kind of looks like you, you know it. But afterwards, I went to the bathroom. I saw Jason Kelsey. He's like, yeah, it was good catching up. He's like, what's that guy Max's deal? I was like, he's just a huge Eagles fan and a huge U fan. He's like, all right, cool.

Yeah. Yeah, that was chill week. do you think barack obama's ever read a big cat tweet has he ever seen your tweet on a timeline oh jeez i think so that guy doesn't read twitter he follows yeah i'm sure he has i don't think that's crazy has not to get political has biden almost gotten as funny as trump yep yep because it is it's almost like turning on a it's like almost turning on like a uh march madness tournament game you're like i don't know what's gonna happen you can't turn it off yeah and you're like this i these teams never played each other like i think why i think the higher president is gonna win old age yeah like who knows i've never

seen this matchup before it's just so it's like you're sitting on the edge of your seat. What is he going to say next? Yeah. You couldn't guess what he'll say next. I saw one of the best tweets. Sent it to TJ. Ever. Also, I'm mad at KB.

Well, you're going to be guilt tripped here in a second, but go first. Okay. well you're gonna be guilt tripped here in a second but go first okay kb just randomly yesterday sent me uh the new york times crossword puzzle thing to track me well no it's i had at you as a friend so i can so we can play and you can see the leaderboard for the minis but you know i'm terrible at it but now it's not like that i think it's more like it would add a layer of you added deflects on me well i'm really good and then you know I'm terrible at it. But it's not like that. I think it's more like it would add a layer of... You added deflects on me. Well, I'm really good.

And then, you know, you'll probably learn. See? Yeah. See what he's doing? We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play.

We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play.

We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. We did the play. And we clowned his time in a group chat. Yeah. It's fun.

You'll get over that hump, though. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to join. I'm just going to cheat every day. Just cheat, yeah. Try. Try to cheat. Because it's still hard. Because you still have to memorize

what goes where. Couldn't you just pull it up and then... Pull it up on another screen? Maybe. Yeah, but it's the mini. Kyle's done with the mini in 19 seconds. I got a hack for you on how to cheat the mini. Okay. Why would you do this to yourself? Why are you depriving yourself of fun? Are you cheating? No, I'm not cheating. Then how do you you on how to cheat the mini. Okay. Why would you do this to yourself? Why are you depriving yourself of fun? Are you cheating?

No, I'm not cheating. Then how do you know the hack to cheat? What is a hack? I'm putting up incompletes on the mini, like daily. I saw it took you 37 minutes once to do the mini? Yeah. That's four words. My record is 28 hours.

I left one open in the Anus studio like two days ago. But you can cheat. You can like, I'll show you how. I don't do it. I don't know. No. I don't want to cheat. Okay.

Because like you're supposed to, the whole point is like you do it, but Kyle's kind of forcing my hand. Yeah. I think we can talk about it every day. How I cheated? I mean, depending on what you do. All right. I'll give it a try next week.

Try it now. Try it now. When I do the big crossword, there's always a hint that reminds me of one of you guys oh Mark would have gotten this one I'll let you guys know next time alright pull it up TJ I'll fucking try it right now wait show that tweet

I didn't want to butcher it Jill Biden is so bad at keeping her husband's scrambled brain oh holy shit that's good joe biden is so bad at keeping her husband's scrambled brain oh i think she was oh holy shit that's good yeah that is that's a fucking bar yeah that's just like a perfectly written joke all right okay all right don't say anything can you read it yeah of course i have great i say bad timing to drop while riding a chairlift.

Batman's archenemy is that Joker? There you go. Okay. I go four down because you have a letter already. Yeah. Okay, four down. Yeah, the first letter. Olympic sport from Japan.

Judo. Yeah. There we go. Five down. Five down. Place for roasting oven. Six across. Six across. What a cartoon character might grab onto if there's... You don't know that. Five down. Place for roasting oven. Six across. Six across.

What a cartoon character might grab onto if there's a hole. You don't know that. Seven across. Seven across. Big name in PCs. Dell. Cook. Eight across. For your eyes only.

Okay. One down. Bad thing to drop. That would do it. Fuck. Prop for Hamlet when he sells the last poor yorick what grace who starred in three hitchhog think of a one down think of a shakespeare uh prop oh you know three down saving plan option for short ira all right three letter word that ends in I. Something bad to drop while riding a chairlift. What?

No, that's a cross. You know that. Ski. Oh. Woo. I mean, hustle now. What do you mean? Drop for Hamlet.

Think of somebody doing a Shakespeare speech. Skull. Yeah. And then I don't know what this last one is. You do. Yeah, you do. Finish two. You can finish two.

Kelly. Kelly. There we go. 34. So that's just regular bad. It's not too bad. That was stressful. Right.

I can't cheat on that. You're right. Yeah, it's hard to cheat, even if you memorize. Okay. All right, so what'd I miss? Huh. Nothing. Kate opened up about her past Yeah

Yeah Uh oh Yeah Good response I have low self esteem it turns out Probably Low self worth That's alright

One of my favorite stories I've ever heard Ever Yeah I was enjoying that Yeah Heard from some old friends after that Yeah Yeah we remember that

Danny Conrad wears large t-shirts and wants everybody to know it yep and what else does he do he something with making out with he's a bad kisser he's a bad that's not even a lie that's just for real okay what else who else what it was other big thing Nikki smoke I just passed over Kate's like traumatic no no yeah smokes oh that's cool Nikki smokes. I just passed over Kate's like traumatic. No, no. Yeah.

Smokes. Oh, that's cool. Nikki smokes. Smokes is fucking sober and going sober. I'm so sick of him saying that he's going so nine cavities. He fucking says he's sober every day, every Tuesday.

He's just like, Oh, I'm hanging it up. And then over to him means just not having a beer in his hand at the moment. Right? It's like, I'm sober right now. It's like, Oh,

I drank so much for two weeks. I'm hanging it up for the rest of the summer. And then Friday Right. He's like, I'm sober right now. He's like, oh, I drank so much for two weeks. I'm hanging it up for the rest of the summer. And then Friday comes. He's like, shit, I'm back. He went out and stayed sober last night. And that was even more insufferable. He had a tweet about it that was like, you know what? It's really not that bad if you have a seltzer in your hand.

Right. He'd get off his high horse. Yeah, it was a very high horse. I don't want to say my 9-11, but... 9-11? TJ. Oh, yeah. There was a situation at Kyle's building yesterday. Oh, yeah.

Situation is putting it lightly. There was a hostage terrorist situation. What? Is this about your cat in the aquarium? No. Oh. It's separate. Kyle keeps his cat in an aquarium when I'm out.

I mean, you could see how that would be a hostage situation. No water. No water. Yes. This is real, though. Okay, tell us. So I'm not even there. But there's choppers above my building.

SWAT teams. Emergency tape. There's two homicide. Two murderers. Murderers. Holding somebody hostage for a place to live in. In your? In my apartment.

Yours and Big T's. Wait, is Big T here? Wait, wait, wait. In your apartment? On the ninth floor. Not his actual apartment, apartment building. Holy shit. And it's like how many floors?

Come to find out, I knew the guy. They held captive. I spotted him on shoulder press. No. Did? He has a Southwest Airlines tattoo. What? Why?

That guy might have. That was a lie. Okay, I was going to say Southwest Airlines tattoo. Why are those guys out on their balcony when the SWAT's right above They were not very serious about having people stay in their apartments or whatever I walked to the grocery store This is your video TJ?

There was a news guy I don't know if it's news or just a guy that was tweeting about it that says he's news So the people didn't live in the building They came in and they kept someone hostage in their own apartment? All the articles are super vague. I don't know exactly. Because if you're being held hostage in your own apartment, it's not the worst place, right?

It could be worse. There definitely could be worse places to be held hostage. Yeah, at least you have your shit. Right. You have your TV. Those guys apparently killed somebody yesterday. Oh my God. Yeah. And then they came. So I went. It was a TV. Those guys apparently killed somebody yesterday. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And then they came. So I went. It was a long deal. I went back at like six. Come to find out there was a standoff between the SWAT team and the guys until 1030. How does that end? In your building? I don't know how they did it.

There was a sniper in TJ's building. What? Holy fuck. Were you like just going about your day and you got an email from the building? Spider called me. I saw the helicopters. I was like, that's weird. What's that? But then Spider called me. He had the details. Holy shit.

Is the guy okay? With the murders? I don't know anything about the hostage. Okay, so last night you're in your apartment. You're chilling with your cat. I wasn't in the apartment. In the aquarium. And a couple floors below, there was a standoff

between the SWAT and two homicide suspects. And we don't know what happened. We don't know. I don't know, yeah. I don't know what came of it. And why is your cat in an aquarium? Oh my God. It was equipped with food

and toys. There was a water bottle, food and toys. Kyle sent in, we forgot to do an ad read. Kyle sent in an ad read for the pod and in the background we just were like, what the fuck is that? And that was my mistake. And you fucked up the first ad read.

There's your cat in the aquarium! The fuck? Is he trying to get out? Well, the second one. Yeah, it's trying to get out. Nobody was supposed to see that. Yeah. I should have known how that would be perceived.

Incorrectly. Have you ever found any subscriptions you forgot about or any you paid for twice and didn't realize it? Well, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscribers. Go! See? That's telling. That means she can get out when she wants to. Did you have to secure that? Is it annoying when she gets out?

Oh, man, Kyle. All right, so you don't know what happened to any of these guys? There's like one article total with no details. It just says the standoff with the SWAT team and these guys happened until 10.30 p.m. That's crazy, dude. Also, what was their ultimate plan? Like, nobody would notice that they just killed a guy and took over his apartment? Like, what was the game plan there?

But, like, the staff, like, would refuse to mention it. Now, as, like, a consolation prize, we get a pool party. No one in custody? Our building's having a pizza party. Yeah, we get a pool and pizza party. Wait, no one in custody our building's having a pizza party yeah we get a pool and pizza wait no one in custody what oh yeah dude how wait so is it still happening do they kill themselves is there a loophole where this wasn't illegal left without taking anyone in custody no suspects were found were they just chilling they got out kyle i don't know know. Nobody knows. Oh, maybe the guy

called in a fake. Like he's like, I'm being held hostage. But that would still be somebody leaving in custody. Right. No, they could put him in a mental hospital. Right? Two to three suspects. I don't know anything else.

But possibly only one. We have a doggy spa and a zen garden. That should not be happening in my place. Big T was pissed. Oh, Big T had us been living. I want him to get his tits. I texted him just to make sure he was okay, and he was like, yeah, just disappointed with the state of America. Can we get him in here?

They do macro at the same time, I believe. I'll text him. No, it's Friday. Oh. It's Friday. So what do we know about what's going on with this? Yeah, I'm enamored.

I want... We need an update. Jacob! Oh, so they probably got him. They're just not sharing the details. Well, if they didn't take him! Oh, so they probably got him. They're just not sharing the details. Well, if they didn't take him into custody, did they kill them? They took him into custody. Oh, that's a good one.

What I'm saying is I think they took him into custody. They're just keeping it hush-hush. They've been working hard at this all day. They really have. They did not get enough cornstarch. Is it ready? No, it's just liquid right now. They ordered more cornstarch, but they need like twice as much cornstarch.

We used $800 worth of cornstarch and it wasn't enough? If this doesn't land us a cornstarch ad deal. It better. With Clabber Girl cornstarch. Come sit down. What are you doing? Why are you being like that? Sit down.

Sit down. You're in charge of this sort of maybe we turn off the the static mic you're in charge of this uh i don't know about in charge but i think i'm playing an integral role okay what's the status uh we're waiting on more cornstarch okay and why is it green uh We put food dye in there, green food dye. I don't know whose choice that was, but I think it's very Chicago. Oobleck is green. Oobleck is green.

Yeah, okay. This is going to be awesome. Oh, yeah. It is green. Oh, it's supposed to be that consistency? So, and we're going to see how long white boy Rick can not get trapped? Yeah, and I think I want to see somebody run and do a cannonball because they said if you do a cannonball,

you just kind of bounce off and then go in. Okay. Yep. It feels like concrete. Concrete? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh.

So will you do that? If you want me to, I will. No, no. I don't like how you did that. I want somebody who's reluctant. Yeah. You know what's going to be kind of impossible, I feel? Emptying the oobleck pool and getting it out. Yep. I to page i was like uh do we have a plan for this she said she did so i'm

gonna trust her i think that's just now a feature of the office is we kept pouring more water in and then i was trying to say that the more water that we poured in the more we had to take out so i don't think that like the take out was really in the in the intern group brain uh during the pouring process so i think it's going to be very how is the intern group right yeah as a whole what does that look like yeah let me get in there yeah how's it going yeah i think it's going okay i think everybody's kind of found their groove um i think everybody's kind of found their groove. I think everybody's a little more responsible since the incident. Have you guys split up into tribes?

Is there a group chat? Is there a clique? There is a group chat. Has there been any arguments? No, not really. Everybody likes each other. Do you have any side group chats? Yeah, there is a side group chat with just the males.

Oh. But that is scary because that means the female group chat is talking a lot of shit on you. Absolutely. That means they've peeled off. Have you smelled any days? When I had this week. I don't think I smelled. Why did you smell this week? Wait, that's not a day. That's the whole week. I don't know. I don't think I... Why'd you smell this week? Wait, that's not a day.

That's the whole week. You smell any day. You had time to fix that. This week. We're in the current... You're in your smelly era? No, there was one day this week where I got really, really sweaty. Yeah.

What were you doing? The gauntlet. Oh. Oh, that comes out on Viva TV. Yeah, so we need to let Goldfinger have a redemption because he's the worst gauntlet athlete of all time. Yeah, I had a really bad showing, but I kind of got bailed out because so did Finger.

Who was the best? So the Viva TV, because there's not a lot of people in the office this week, they're like, what can we do for Viva TV? Let's teach the interns how to do the gauntlet. So we had them each do each individual part and do that, and then they were going to all go through and do runs and see what their scores were.

They took so long learning the individual parts of the gauntlet that we only had time for two of them to run the full gauntlet before they had to set up for Jerry After Dark. Learning? Yeah, like, here's cornhole, here's soccer. They went through each one, and then they were going to do the whole run. And so we only had time for two of them to go and jacob did bad and then sam goldfinger did worse than anyone has ever done in the history of the gauntlet i heard i think i saw the text is saying like he's the most uncoordinated person we've ever seen every single person did baseball

in a way that i've never seen someone do baseball but we have a clip that we can see we can watch gold coming out can we watch goldfingers okay wait clip that we can see? We can watch Goldfinger. Can we watch Goldfinger's? Wait, can we get him in here to watch it silently? Yes. Okay. Goldfinger is not just a bad gauntlet athlete. I question his ability to walk and run at this point.

It is always funny when you see a guy who, like, he's not in bad shape. He seems like a regular guy, and then if you throw him a ball, it's like... He freaks out. He has no idea what to do with it. Yeah. I will give it to goldfinger we uh did that race around the leaning tower and he was a little late to that because of uh party the night before oh it started at 11 and he was about 45 minutes late to that okay which is very late for a 5k uh cory rutledge don't want to get on Corey's, gave him the business. So, to make up for it, Goldfinger with Jacob, you guys went up at 1230 at night, and Goldfinger did the 100 laps around the Leaning Tower on his own.

Wow. It's a big move. As a redemption move. We had to walk two miles to get milk. Oh, yeah, because we had milk to drink to go around. Oh, because you got an Uber up there? We took a train there there and then when we got to the tower we realized we needed milk looked there was a jewel osco mile down the road that

closed in like 15 minutes so we had to like zoom to the jewel osco and we made it with five minutes to spare wow it's big good work great work i respect the big time yeah and was it videoed yep okay yeah that was that was my job no he just texted me and told me he did it I respect the big time. And was it videoed? Yep. Okay. Yeah, that was my job. No, he just texted me and told me he did it. So the interns overall are doing well. I feel bad I haven't been around. I need to... We're doing good.

We're doing good. Do you guys hang out socially as a group? Sometimes, yeah. We'll go out like probably every other week or so. Who orchestrates that? Joey's very much like, hey, we got'll go out like probably every other week or so. Who orchestrates that? Joey's very much like, hey, we got to go out. Let's go out. Nice.

Goldfinger, too. Goldfinger's a party animal. Oh. Yeah, it's usually those two. You're young. It's summer. Young and spry. Yeah.

Got to meet your dad yesterday. He was here. You gave your dad the old tour? Yeah, my dad got the tour. He got to come in yesterday. He's visiting. Lovely guy. Never been to Chicago before.

I was here all day. I was here from 8 a.m. till I left at like 6 p.m. We walked by. I didn't meet you. We walked by. I never met your dad. He was personally introducing him to everyone. What time was that?

I was here all day. Wow. You were gaming in the Mostly Sports studio when I brought him by and introduced him to Luke. I respect that, actually. I respect that. I didn't want to interrupt the game. Party animal. He can't even walk.

Yeah, wait. I never noticed that. Maybe it's because I always just notice your grin. I think it's because he's cute. People think that he can do the bare minimum athletic. Yeah, and he can never stop smiling. Yeah, you think the cute thing helps? I think just because I'm happy.

I don't know. What's on your wrist? When you say smoke out, media passes. We were filming interviews yesterday. Oh, nice. Are you going back? Yeah, I'm going back on Sunday. Okay.

I just didn't know if you were like a keep the wristband on for the rest of the summer type of guy. Oh, nice. Are you going back? Yeah, I'm going back on Sunday. Okay. Nice. I just didn't know if you were like a keep the wristband on for the rest of the summer type of guy. Oh, no. I'm taking this off the second I'm done. Nice. I like that. You don't do it the second. Right once I'm out, I just take it off. It's kind of uncomfortable.

Okay. So you're really bad at the gauntlet? Yeah. It's just sports in general. Okay. Do you want to watch yourself? No. That's not...

Good answer. Did you gulp? That was a cartoon gulp where Adam's apple was like... That was the most uncomfortable no of all time. No. You threw that no up. Yeah, I really don't want to see that. He's like, you burped it.

Yeah, that was indigestion. That was like a tequila shot of no. No, I'm good. Well, how about we turn his mic? You're not allowed to talk while we watch this, but you have to sit in here and watch. We're not going to. It's like 12 minutes, so we'll speed through it.

It's 12 minutes? That's what I heard. What was Lowe's? Nine? Nine and a half? New record holder. Well, it's not official. You'll have a chance to beat... We might have you try to beat Jeffy Lowe today. And there was no Sporkle.

Wait, what? 13 minutes? No, there was. Oh, there's Sporkle? But he walked... You want to just watch it? Give us a little highlight. I also didn't have my glasses. I couldn't really see. No, no, no Oh, there's Sporkle? Okay. But he walked. You want to just watch it? Yeah, just give us a little highlight. I also didn't have my glasses. I couldn't really see. No, no, no. Don't do this.

Say you suck at sports. Get out in front of it. Yeah, look. It's starting at 13 minutes, and there's 13 minutes left in this video. Three, two, one, go. Okay. When did you start to panic? Did you miss the board there?

Yeah. I guess it started after I had to get the bags a second time. Oh, a second time. I should be through this. Thank you for saying that. A second time. It's kind of bullshit, though. I had, like, five all around it.

Well, that's what you mean. That's how it works. What did you do in college, like when there was cornhole in the backyard or something? I was drinking. Okay. Yeah. He is Goldfinger for people who don't know. He is the guy who claimed that he worked for Barstool when he was 16 and threw a party with Gronk.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's whatronk. Yep. Yeah. So that's what we're dealing with. Yeah. That did happen, right? I didn't throw the party. But you said you worked at Barstool. I was a viceroy.

Oh, that's right. At 16. Yeah. Oh, so you lied to get the viceroy job. Yeah. Okay. It's more misunderstanding, but... Yeah. Oh, so you lied to get the viceroy job. Yeah, okay More misunderstanding yeah Good shit finger

Okay, are you the first this might be the first person ever have a third go around this might kill the gauntlet like this is so boring First off the porno board is farther than it usually is oh that's a good point i think i go for four actually oh my god all right go to the next thing what's the worst you like panic um they're all the worst i think this sparkle was every challenge the worst anybody's done it might might be a, like, full red. Like, full all-time worst. All right, so we got to get you to do it again. Yeah, I want to see this.

Yeah, we got to get an actual on-the-record time. What? Like, I don't want to, like, accidentally hit anything into, like, the ground over there. What? Yeah, that would be a disaster. I don't want to get, like, the stuff that's taken over. I will protect the oobleck. Thank you, Jacob.

What don't you want to get in the slime? The football? Yeah, I don't want to get like the stuff they're picking up over. I will protect the oobleck. Thank you, Jacob. What don't you want to get in the slime? The football? Yeah, I don't know. Buddy. All right, go get Malicek. Go get ready. I want to see you do it for real. This is, this is.

You move like an NPC. Oh, he's, oh boy. Goldfinger, here's your only thing that's to your advantage. Oh my God. Is that this isn't an official time. So that never really happened. We're going to see it on VTV, but it didn't happen in the fact that you're not undocumented. You have a chance to not be.

You actually might be the first person that ever got a practice run before an official run. Right. So this is good for you. You got the bat out of the way. What was your actual time? I don't remember exactly. I know it was over 12. What was it, TJ?

I want to do something. I don't... It's sufficiently mean, but I still think that it would be interesting for the viewers. What is it? Well, I need to know your time. 12 minutes, 5.72 seconds if you don't beat this i think your summer's over oh no oh he's fired i think so okay yeah

it's a loose town match with yourself That's so awesome I love this That's a really good idea I mean that's such an insane time You can beat that There's not a chance You will not get that bad of a time And if you do

You probably should just go home Yeah you'd have to I mean he struck out on Whipple Yeah He needs a prize if he does better though What's a good thing he can Are you ready for your first loserer Leaves Town match with yourself? I think...

I think... Could we do it Monday? No. No. If you beat your time, I'll pitch $100. Okay. Yeah. If you beat your time, we'll do a cash prize.

Cash prize. Okay. But, yeah, it'll supplement some of... Are you getting paid to do this? This job? I'll give you $500 if you getting paid to do this? This job? I'll give you $500 if you beat me. $500 if you beat me. Holy fuck.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Finger. I should have said $20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have bought you a six-pack. Yeah.

That was a big mistake by me. I should have said, I'll buy you a six-pack. You would have got the same exact, holy fuck. Wow, I overshot that one. You're going to pass out right now. Yeah, this is a lot of pressure. You got this, dude. You got this.

You're not going to get it. But if you break Jeff's time, you get $1,000. What? If he goes under $9,000? No, you can negotiate. If you go under... Beat Jeff's time for $1,000 with no $500 on the table.

Can you grab my wallet in the PMT studio? It's on my desk. This is going to be... be listen i wouldn't as mean as it sounds i wouldn't do it if i didn't think you could beat like if i thought there was no chance you could beat it i wouldn't do this okay you know what i mean like if i thought there was you you're you're gonna get 15 minutes i wouldn't put this on i you can beat that he ran out of wiffle balls. I appreciate you. I appreciate you having faith in me. Every fact TJ drops is worse. Yeah.

All right. Ran out of wiffle balls. Would you rather do it for 500 and all you have to do is beat your previous time? Or would you want to do it for 1,000 where you have to go sub Jeff D. Lowe? Yeah. I think I'd play it safe 500. Jesus finger. Okay. I mean. No, I think I'd play it safe 500. Jesus, finger. Okay, I mean.

No, no. Loser leaves town, though. $500. 500 big ones. Goldfinger, you're not going to. It's impossible. You're not going to do worse. Let's see a stroke.

Dude, have you. Oh, no. He's going to do worse. He's going to do, yeah. I don't feel good about that. He's going to do better. You're fine. No. He's going to do worse. He's going to do... Yeah, I don't feel good about that. He's going to do better. You're fine. No, you're going to do worse.

He just gave me another holy shit when I showed him the cash. It can't be done. So when he saw the cash, it's real, yeah. He went... It was like his first pair of titties. He just went... Oh, shit. I'm going to be honest.

I gulped a little bit. It was like... Are those real? Yeah. What the fuck? Is that legal? I am really nervous, though. All right, go collect your thoughts.

Okay. You got this. Take 10 minutes, and then we'll do it. Okay. All right? All right. It's a mental game, Sam. I believe in you.

Yeah, go pump him up. All right? To walk him through it. There's no way you get... And Jacob, you can play the role of Brandon or Che where you help get the soccer balls for him. Okay. If he needs help on basketball. You can put the role of Brandon or Che where you help get the soccer balls for him. Okay. If he needs help on basketball.

You can put your shoes on. Did we say you had to be? I don't know what's going on in his office. It's crazy. It was for oobleck mixing. Okay, go. Get your mind right. Speaking of not knowing what's going on in his office,

Luke, what the fuck happened on Mostly Sports today? You got clip farmed. What does that mean? You got clip farmed. I cannot explain it to you guys. This is something, is another sketch situation where it's very early in the clip farming, and you guys, it's just a 13-year-old thing.

So what happened from your standpoint? We were doing the show. I was talking to Blutman about tennis. Mook just opens the door, kicks Blutman off the OJ Simpson Memorial bench, sits down, and then just screams like it smells like shit in here, and then walked out. Yeah. And I just sat there like, I don't get it.

There's nothing to get. Manufacturing a viral clip, I'm guessing. Yes, clip farming. That was it. Clip farming. Did we put that out, CJ? Yeah, how's it go? No, we got to get it vertical.

Does that mean put it on TikTok? It's horizontal right now. We got to flip it vertical. All right. Yeah. I can't keep up with you. I'm left with more questions. Yeah, I'm so confused.

I can't keep up with you, rambunctious 27-year-olds. Both of us just walked into the Sporkle by the way in real time. He just got to Sporkle eight minutes in. What is real time Sporkle? He still has three more minutes. And you will fire him, right? Four positions. Yeah, I think he's going to have to leave.

Seeker, chaser. He's not going to lose. No. Hey, I think he's going to have to leave. Seeker? Chaser? He's not going to lose. No. This was like a no-pressure situation, so of course he was lax and casual. Right, right. Malasek, what's up, bud? Yeah, does he seem like a type that if you tell him he can't do it,

that'll motivate him? No, I think he's opposite, yeah. I don't think he has any fighting in him. I was trying to go down that road. I think that might actually make it worse. He's got zero heart. I think he might have zero heart. The competitive fire in him

is just completely extinguished. Oh, look at him practicing over there. Wait, so what happened with the clip farm i'm i'm very confused i don't know i don't know clip clip farming in short is going on to someone's stream and saying something intentionally awkward and making the room basically be like what the fuck is happening and this is a 13 year old thing it's a phase clan thing and it's massively viral on tiktok so you went in and you said. I charged up. I sniffed the room for a little bit.

And then Titus was like, what the fuck? He was like, what the fuck's going on? I was. That was a genuine reaction. And then I just screamed, somebody smells like shit. And then I walked out. Yeah. And that's going to go mega viral.

Probably not, no. That was like the very. But I wanted to do it. That was like 10 minutes before we started doing this show. So I was still trying to process it. I'm going to do it again, too. I'm going to bust through and clip farm you next week. For sure.

Start clip farming? Did we put that out, TJ? We got to get Cody on that, right? Yeah, but he's right. It needs to be vertical. We got to get vertical. We got to get... Okay.

Yeah. I mean, that's going to do fucking numbers. It's going to go crazy. I'm starting to feel nervous about the oobleck. It doesn't even look like it's even close. There seems to be some... I told about the oobleck. It doesn't even look like it's even close. There seems to be some... I told them the ratio they needed. They just came back with a bunch more and dumped it in, but it's still very...

Why is Joey just hanging in there? He's the mixer. You gotta scrape it all off the bottom. Oh. TJ, you know way too much about oobleck. I don't know how you guys didn't do oobleck in school. Didn't do oobleck in school. It was like a very common science experiment in school and camp.

I made it at home a few times. Yeah. No, I don't think I've heard of oobleck. I've seen it. I think Dude Perfect did something with it. Probably. Mark Rober's done something with it. From inside of it.

Is this the one that acts like quicksand? So it's a non-Newtonian fluid. So if you stimulate it, it hardens. Nice. So if you punch it, it reacts like a solid. If you just hold on to it, it reacts like a liquid. So if White Boy Rick moves fast in it, it'll react like he's walking on jelly. But if he stops moving, he'll sink.

Oh, very cool. Why does Goldfinger swing underhand? They all swung in different ways. It was bizarre. Some of them swung overhand like a tennis racket with the wiffle ball bat. Also, I think almost all of them shot the basketball underhanded. Okay. What the fuck?

Yeah, it was crazy. By the way, game time. Did you know you can get tickets to Diamondbacks at Cubs next Friday right now for $46. That's right. Thanks to Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game Time is a fast and easy way to buy tickets to all the sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible,

and their lowest price guaranteed, which means that if you can find the same seats for less anywhere else game time will credit you 110 of the difference game time is best place for last minute seats with up to 60 off your favorite events take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time download the game time app create an account use code yak for 20 off first purchase terms apply download the game time app today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. More cornstarch. More cornstarch. That's a lot more cornstarch. Holy shit. Oh, my God.

It's going to take them forever to get this out of here. Oh, man. Should we talk about Che? I am proud of Che. I love him. So I only followed a little bit of it. Did he mistake charcoal for He said that was just a slip up

He mixed it up in his head Got it So yeah he was wrong But He puts himself out there to so much ridicule I know Every single day I couldn't

No I Doesn't care Doesn't care I miss him Bad Can't wait for him to be back Can't get over his appearance I think we've convinced

him to do the stand-up this month too yes yes July 25th yeah I take absolutely going one of the interviews we did this week chill week was with a quarterback that Stephen Shea currently roots for and I asked Stephen Shea for some questions and that quarterback was like maybe I need a restraining order what was the gist of his questions he I

don't know how he found out that Baker Mayfield and Adam Schefter are friends but Stephen Chase question that I asked Baker was are you guys friends, and if so, what are your favorite qualities about Adam Schefter? And Baker was just like, what? What do you like about Schefter? Yeah, like he basically made me create scat porn for him.

Oh, my God. But that's like. I love Jay so much. He's on a heater right now. I can't wait to. He'll be back Monday, right? Yeah. I think he'd be a real good godfather.

I'd be fine with like my children going to him. Uh, no. Why not? I agree. He's going to say weird shit to your kids. No, he wouldn't. I brought my kid to his kid's birthday party, and he was a blast. My kid crushed it.

Yeah, he's good. I've never seen him in dad mode. If I ever have that happen to me, I might give him the reins. He is a very good dad. I've seen him in dad mode, but I don't know if Godfather means he'd have to be there for family. He would take it so seriously. Yeah. Oh, you mean like an actual religious godfather?

I meant like if I die and somebody had to watch my children. Oh, I would trust he'd be at the top of my list. Top of your list? Yeah, I think that's the type of guy he is. He would feel obligated He would deliver He would be top of the list huh When has he ever

Has he ever screwed One of us or anyone over No In any way Not Maybe not intentionally Everything is good nature He just pissed us off

By being annoying But that's it Yeah that's it Did I tell you It really pissed us off Did I tell you guys That I joined the Fantasy football league With the baseball players?

Dave's out. Oh, you're in. Oh, wow. So Che's your boss. Yeah, so I got added to the group text. And it's like Mike Trout is in there and Alex Bregman. And watching Che command these guys is so incredible. He doesn't take any shit do they listen to him

yeah they like it's fucking crazy that's all i'm just like seeing from outside i'm like how is this possible like you guys are all like insanely wealthy insanely famous and you're letting this guy boss you around well in che's eyes they're nobody nobody's that's why it works so perfectly but it's been just so like i don't even know if i want to play i just want to be on the group text you around well in che's eyes they're nobody nobody's that's why it works so perfectly but it's been just so like i don't even know if i want to play i just want to be on the group text just to watch like i have barely said anything i just have watched what are like the nature of his commands like he did a poll to decide rule changes and then and then people were complaining and he's like that's what the poll was for and And, like, shit like that. Yeah, I love it.

Where it's just like, damn, Jay. He's like the Tim Woods of, like, being a fantasy commissioner. It's crazy. Yeah. So, yeah, it's been fascinating to watch. Yeah, I can't wait for him to come back. Is Brandon coming back next week? Nah.

Yeah, probably not. We have a big week next week. Yeah. No way of knowing. We're doing that draft on Tuesday. That's right. Yeah. And then, have they announced what We're doing that draft on Tuesday. That's right. And then have they announced

what we're doing for Jerry After Dark? I don't think we have. I tried to on Mostly Sports and I was told not to. All I'll say is Tuesday. I don't know if... Yeah, we have. Tuesday afternoon into night we're doing a Jerry After Dark stream that could rival

free throws. I don't think it will take as long. No, it won't take that long. Titus, I think it will take a long time. Do you think you're going to be more sore from this for sure, right? Possibly. That's a lot of... Possibly.

Harder physically. Yeah. Harder physically, yeah. I'm pretty pumped. You said tonight? No, Tuesday. No, just next Tuesday. Who's all doing it?

I signed up for it. Yeah. Anybody in this room sign up for it? I'm vocally doing it. Yeah. Okay. I think White Sox Dave is involved. I have the lineup.

Yeah, White Sox Dave is in there. I'm told we're free to talk about it. Oh, okay. All right. Great. Tuesday afternoon, we're going to a Little League baseball park, and there's nine of us. There's actually ten of us.

So here's a fun wrinkle that Lucas and I came up with. There's ten of us, and we're going to stay at the field until we break Barry Bond's home run record. Who is retrieving the home runs? That's going to be an exhausting job. Very. I think I to be an exhausting job. Very. I think I'll be interns. Okay.

So it's 762, which that's a lot. That's a lot of home runs. 10 people, 762. So there's 10 people. There's only going to be nine people in the lineup. The 10th person, if they rob someone from a home run, they get to take that person's place in the lineup. Whoa.

So the 10th person will actively be trying to take away home runs. That's pretty fun. Yeah, it is fun. They have to catch it over the fence, and then they switch, and then that person goes out to the outfield. They have to rob. They have to rob. Over under 3,400 pitches.

Oh, I don't know. It's a Little League field? I think so. I think it's 220. Do you think you can get one in 10 swings as a home run? Yeah, for sure. It's a Little League field? I think so. I think it's 220. Do you think you can get one in ten swings as a home run? Yeah, for sure. It's easy. I don't know, dude.

I think it'll be fun for a while. I think it might take a while. Ten guys, it might be fun the whole time. You're going to be itching to get back up there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it'll take a while. And everyone's taking turns pitching?

No, I think we have a pitching machine. you do oh that's sweet that's the beauty of these challenges is you you never really do know how long you're gonna take the caitlin clark thing didn't didn't take quite as long yeah i think the hole in one like looking back on it of course it should have taken that long but i i wouldn't have guessed that would have taken yeah like three days or whatever. Yeah. That was crazy. I feel like it's one of those ones we think is going to be easy. I think Nick and KB, maybe Connor Griffin on the call.

Yep. I'm not even worried about the challenge. I'm just looking forward to hitting balls and shagging fly balls. Yeah, you might be the 10th man, by the way. To start. Oh, to start? Okay. I'm pretty nice now. What if he steals one of yours? I'll be pissed. Yeah, you might be the 10th man, by the way. Whoa, what? Oh, to start? Okay. I'm pretty nice now.

What if he steals one of yours? Yeah. I'll be pissed. You're ready. So pissed. I'm going to put my body on the line. I'll be so pissed. I'm definitely going to trip over the fence at some point.

Yeah, so we have that Tuesday. And yeah, I think it might take us a while. Yeah. After a while, would the 10th man lose motivation to be catching the balls? Or it doesn't matter? Yeah, I think there will definitely be a quit factor. Yeah. White Sox Dave is going to quit.

So if you hit, maybe it won't take that long. What is it, 762? So, yeah, we all hit 76. 762. 76.2. If you hit two a minute no you're not hitting two a minute that's six and a half hours you're not hitting two a minute i think we could hit two a minute two a minute maybe in the beginning i mean this is very obvious statement but it does depend on how big the field is like yeah like if it it's 220. That's a good point, Titus. Yeah.

If it's 220. Because all I've been told is it's not a full-size baseball field. It's not. But there are levels to this. Yeah. Like if it's 180, we'll do it. Yeah, we'll do it. 220.

What is Little League World Series? I think it's like 200. If you get into a groove, you can go rattle off 12 straight. That's what I'm saying. 15 straight. What kind of bats? Metal. Pink metal?

Yes, but like minus three, like big barrel. I don't know. Maybe BYO. BYO? If you have an orange stealth in the Chicago area, please hit my line. Have you guys also, we're doing the planning for Barstool Camp. Have you guys heard anything about it? It's going to be very fun.

No, like. Yeah, I don't know. Give us something. We're pretty sure we're staying in cabins camping there's like no there's cabins like eight eight people to a cabin it's gonna be fun it's gonna be fun it's gonna be very fun the camp is it's a real camp and i guess it's a stoolie who runs the camp so we're gonna have like there's like a lake yeah that's gonna be a blast yeah would you say

like the activities are more fun or challenging i i think it's gonna be a little bit of both is there a like i think we'll probably have some capture the flag oh yeah they have a blob yeah blob oh i'm gonna be afraid i'm gonna steal nick's underwear and run it up the flagpole i think it's gonna be a lot of fun i think think we're going to do like two teams. We're going to split up two teams of everyone and then it's going to be a competition for three days. And yeah. And then directly there into rough and rowdy. No.

Rough and rowdy is... The ninth of... Yeah. Barstool camp is... Oh, I'm thinking of the other thing then. 19th through 20th. What's the other thing? I don't know what you're saying olympics no we're not doing we might be doing some olympics we'll see okay yeah this was kind of in place of it uh okay yeah this is similar yes it's gonna be live too oh that's cool after the act every day it's gonna be live the competitions oh we're gonna yak Oh, we're going to yak from the camp? We're going to yak from the camp and then at

2 o'clock every day we're going to basically be playing camp activities for like 3 or 4 hours. For 3 days straight. We could do your chant around the fire. Pancake, marmalade, cake and pie and lemonade.

Hershey Kiss, butterscotch. Take it up. Pancake, marmal is it? Butterscotch. Take it up. Take it up. And you say it fast. Pancake. Marmalade. Yeah. Lemonade.

And your one. What's your one? The tick on your dick? Give me an acoustic guitar. We'll do it around the fire. Ticking on the dick in the motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that one.

Yeah, that one too. Yeah, we could do them all. But what's your tick on a dick? Oh, there's a skeeter on my Peter Pan. Yeah, that one too. Yeah, we could do them all. But what's your tick on a dick? Oh, there's a Skeeter on my Peter. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Remember that? A Skeeter on my Peter.

Flick it off. Yeah. Yeah, we got to pack summer. Should we do this? I think he's ready. All right, Goldffinger let's do it The first ever Loser Leaves Town match On the gauntlet

Is that $500 right there? Yep That's not the fattest stack No No It's not a fat stack whatsoever We also have to figure out when we're going back to the sphere Yeah not a fat stack whatsoever. We also have to figure out when we're going back to the sphere.

Yeah. Did you see the Seth Rogen clip? Yeah. Did you see Frank pouring the apple cider? No. Frank was cooking yesterday, and he just had the ingredients called for two tablespoons of apple cider. Oh, no. Good Frank clip.

We got to see that yeah yeah not to name drop but well there's all celebrities out there but i saw miles teller who we've had on before and like i talked to him on the driving range and we just talked for 30 minutes about this yeah that was all we talked about he's a deadhead right yeah he was just like he's already been like three times i was like we should just go back right now, dude. We're pretty close. You know what? My name wheel did hit on the show while you were gone. Oh, I think that... We go to the sphere.

You get to pick one guy on the show. That's a great idea. Please, yes. You know what? Let's just go to the sphere. Oh, here's Frank. Two tablespoons of apple cider. Oh, no! Oh, Frank. Two tablespoons of apple cider. Oh, no. Oh, no. Two tablespoons of apple cider.

So one and two. Frank. What was that? What was that? Apple cider vinegar, I believe. Frank. Frank. He's so good oh that was so classic uh all right are you ready goldfinger that doesn't sound ready all right is it is the are the bags you can is that in the right spot yeah okay malicek could ruin a guy's life yeah all Alright so do you want us to give you updates

Like time Like do you want us to tell you Hey hurry the fuck up or else you're fired Yes Okay Yeah You are the least confident I've ever seen a human being And I know we joke around a lot

We joke around a lot on this show You're being serious You'll get paid for the rest of the summer But you have to leave yeah he was just quiet oh you're not gonna you're gonna beat it you're gonna beat it this is not even an issue you got this all right come on let's go all right are you ready you can help with the you can help with the bags jacob and you can All right. Are you ready? I'm ready.

You can help with the bags, Jacob, and you can help with the balls. And basketballs for rebounds and stuff. All right. Three, two, one, go. I'm saying he's going to get six minutes. Finger. Oh. Oh, no. That would have been legendary. Come on, finger. to get six six minutes oh oh no legendary come on he's already doing a lot better oh oh he's not

meant to work here oh no oh no okay oh my god this is horrible no he's already panicked. He's just started throwing overhand. Oh, no. He's doing so good. He's missing the board. He's got the yip. Oh, no.

Why did he throw overhand? Yeah! Here we go. Here we go. Oh, what is that? Oh. What is that wall? He can't walk around.

Yeah. It feels like his legs don't bend naturally. Does he have a fake one? Look at it. Or like they bend backwards. It's crazy. He has a fake leg. Imagine if he never. What is that wall he can't walk her yeah, it feels like his legs don't bend never make one look Imagine if you never oh, oh, yes Baseball the bat Okay, come on As hard as you can you got it. Oh, oh wow all right. This is wow okay this Okay deep breaths got yourself a really good cushion gold finger Alright. Oh wow. Okay. Okay.

Deep breaths. You got yourself a really good cushion Goldfinger. You got an incredible cushion. You're doing good. You just have to make two threes and hit into Sporkle in ten minutes. Oh come on. This is our anus free cam. Oh man.

Oh that happened last. Let's go. Oh my god for the cornhole. anus free cam oh come on go finger okay oh my god all right let's go No help. Three colors on his traffic light. Three colors on his traffic light. Oh. Green, green, yellow, red. Oh, my God. He was about to say brown. He was going to say blue. Oh.

Five little things little piggies do or go to. What? Most popular sports in UK by tv wing okay soccer yep rugby oh you got oh double um okay eight running backs for us for 29 biking quest johnny drama is it characters or actors no it's yeah it's the shows that it's the shows that... It's the show. Oh, the TV shows. Oh, Entourage. What's Queef Sisters? Yeah, what's...

Itchy and Scratchy, The Simpsons. Five Muscles Worked Out by Benchpress. Chest. Or Pectorals. Yeah, Pax. I like that. I like that. One more.

One more. One more. One more. He has seven minutes. Simon Cowell's been a judge for... Yeah, um... Simon Cowell was... Don't worry, you have plenty of time.

Yeah, you know what? Take a break. I'm around. I've got talent. Let's talk about it. America's got talent. Take a break. You've got a lot of time

he's got it is that it no yeah $500 wow I told you dude there's no way

there's $329 that was a great time great time good job dude congrats he just hustled the shit out of you. Yeah.

I mean, to be honest, I wish I tried to do a bad time at first, but that was just... No, no, you're bad. Yeah, we can tell. Look at this. Not even bad. No. Are you on page two?

Oh, my word. You crushed that, dude. Holy shit. Right above Look at this Danny Conrad right there Gunnar Henderson Yeah

Holy shit Are those not your glasses? No I They're Jacobs I left mine at home today But that was a big issue for me In the first run through How often do you leave your glasses at home?

If it's that big of an issue. Well, it's only for like seeing, like reading really far. That's not far. Yeah, I need to get them checked out because they're like three years old. I have been needing to get on that. My eyes check again.

Well, now you got some money to go buy some glasses. Yeah. You're not going to use them. No. No, I'm not using them. You're going to have a great weekend. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. I'm proud of you, Finger're going to have a great weekend. Yeah. All right. I'm proud of you, Finger. Good job. Way to go, dude. I'm proud of you. Yes. There was no chance. No, that is so much time.

3.29. Incredible. I maybe got hustled, but I really don't even think I got hustled. I think he just was so bad and then being like, hey, dude, your job's done. Yeah. Yeah. Little fire in his ass. I feel like that rule should be to anybody.

If you go over 12 on the gauntlet. Yeah. Fired. Fired. Yeah. Agreed. I think that's a good, like, to keep in good condition. Jacob's time was eight.

Still, yeah, that's insane. What do you mean? He's an SEC running back. Yeah. Damn near. He focused on one sport. Specialist. Seven. Oh, that's the bottom of the list.

Yeah. Yeah. How do we think the UBAC's doing? It looks like too much water. Still. A lot. How are they? They're getting stuck in it. It's starting to work. Okay. Yeah are they? They're getting stuck in it.

It's starting to work. Okay. Yeah, look. His ankles are locked in it. Yeah. Good. Did you guys see the guy pissing on the plane? Yes.

He was holding his dick like a cigarette. It was insane. The grip was just mind-boggling. Wait, no. I missed this. Someone... So, you can find it, TJ. How did you miss it? I don't know. This is something you usually bring to the table. The grip was just mind-boggling. Wait, no, I missed this. So you can find it, TJ. How did you miss it? I don't know.

This is something you usually bring to the table. Someone describe it to me in great detail, please. I thought you would have blogged about this at 7 a.m. He went palm on FUPA and let the dick through the finger. Are you serious? Yeah. Like just in his seat? I guess he was told he couldn't go to the bathroom while they were departing.

Okay. And he was like, I really have to go. And then he just started peeing. And he had a micro penis? The grip makes you think so. You can't grip a hog like that. Yeah. Look at this.

Oh my God. Zoom in on the grip. Oh my God. Yeah, look at that Wait did he not take his headphones out of his pocket Yeah so he's dangling He's dangling forward Why didn't he just piss his pants

That's better I mean it's better but it also got him arrested He's never going to be able to fly again He had to have been blacked out Yeah even the cop was kind of laughing about it If you look at the cop he he was just like, come on, dude. Really? He's loving it. That's the sassiest this is the

culprit to. Look at the guy's hand. Oh, yeah. Is that a point? Here he is, officer. That guy's giving a face like, was it me? His face is so confused. What's going on? What did I do wrong? Oh, my God. Look at him.

He went pants all the way down. Kind of a legend, yeah. How is there not video footage of this? I know. Great question. Is that memes? He looks like a PMT crew member. Yeah, he does.

He really does. He does look like one of ours for sure. Is he sitting first class? I think so. Is that in the middle of the place? The lady next to him looks very wealthy.

She's going up for Jack and... Yeah, she switched seats. They had to protect the women. If you notice, on the first picture, there's a woman, and then on the second picture,

it's the dude who's ready to fight him. Did they de-board? I don't know. You would have to. You could see the puddle, too. The cleaning? Oh, yeah, wait. Wait, where see the puddle too. Oh yeah, wait.

Where's the puddle? Oh yeah! Yeah, he does have like a what, dude? Is that not allowed? That guy's kind of just chilling. Where was this flight leaving and going to? I don't know. That's a good question because that is it always does tell you, like if this is leaving Vegas

it's like Kind of more leniency Yeah Is that a golf hat? Callaway We're Taylor Macy's Spoiled Yeah we're Taylor Macy's

Why couldn't he just I feel like a guy could Just turn sideways Once the plane's going And like Yeah right You're just pissing your pants Well he was sending a message

Yeah you're right He wanted to It looks like he won He showed them. Yeah. All right, where's it going? Accused of exposing himself. Oregon man exposed himself

in an airplane during a flight that was ultimately diverted to New York. So he was pissing when they were in the air? Which took off from Chicago on Wednesday morning and was headed to

Manchester, New Hampshire but diverted to Buffalo. Was this one of the guys that came for Jerry's friend stream? That's not a very long flight. Took off from Chicago. Yeah, I know. That's not... That's not...

He drank several whiskey drinks before boarding his initial flight, Portland, Oregon. He also claimed he drank more during a layover in Chicago and suffered from a medical urination problem, the outlet reported. Medical urination problem? Yeah, it's called drinking too much, yeah. Give that boy some diapers. Six months in prison? We can't.

If this guy gets prison time, I'll do like a justice, like free him. Free the pisser? Yeah. I would. Free the plain pisser. Yeah. We'd have to do like a Yeah

He's probably a complete Shithead Oh for sure Yes But so are we Yeah We'd have to piss in solidarity Yeah

One of our own Representation matters Yeah Yeah we can't leave him out there Complete shithead 100% The fact that he's in first class means he's just the worst dude Yeah with the Callaway hat

Oh man The uh Did you guys also see We have some troubling news Trouble There's Sam's Club guys That was pathetic

That was sick and Oh, no. That was sick and pathetic. Like a dad, father, son? Yep. Ugh. And they did a duo video. I saw it. And it might be the end.

I think it might be the end of everything. The Costco guys. I think the only thing we're moving forward with is the Rizzler. Like everything else is just over. I think we've got to just take him and leave the rest behind. Yeah. We're Costco guys. We've got the chicken bake.

Sam's Club guys, what do you got? We're Sam's Club guys. We have cold ice. Hey, Costco guys, what do you got? And they just do this for two minutes. We're Costco guys. We've got a double chocloid cookie. Every time you think it can't possibly continue, it keeps going.

We're Sam's Club guys. We have these pizza pretzels. Hey, Costco guys, what do you got? We're Costco guys. We got 25 pounds of meat. Hey, Sam's Club guys. Yeah, it's over. It's over.

Do you think the employees are stoked when these guys come into the store. At this point, I think it's like some type of like government psyop. Yeah. Just. And they're releasing new music. I'm a Rizzler only guy. We got to cherry pick the Rizzler. Yeah.

He's got to be emancipated. He must be protected at all costs. Yeah. And you know that like they coordinated that. They're like, let's do a fucking emancipated. He must be protected at all costs. Yeah, and you know that they coordinated that. They're like, let's do a fucking combo video. Oh, yeah. That meme, too, is, what, a year old? The, like, I'm this.

Yeah. I do this. Of course we're, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I want Sam's Club and Costco guys to be bitter rivals. Yeah. Yeah. Hatfield McCoy, Sunni Shiite. I want that. Yes. I want them fighting each other. Why'd you say Sunni Shi rivals. Yeah. Yeah. Hatfield-McCoy, Sunni-Shiite. I want that.

Yes. I want them fighting each other. Why'd you say Sunni-Shiite? Yeah. Aren't they fighting each other? Yeah, yeah, big time. There are a lot of rivalries out there, though. Hatfield-McCoy.

I just was naming rivals. McGregor-Mayweather. Thank you. I think that the son felt like he had more of an accent than the father. Yeah. A lot father. Yeah. A lot more. Yeah. A lot more.

That one confused me a little. But yeah, it's over. It's over. And I am a Costco guy. Yeah. You're a Costco guy guy? Like, I have a Costco membership. I love Costco, but I think I might have to-

You're out on the Costco dad. I think I'm out on Costco. I have to. Wow. Oh, wow. I think I'm out on Costco. Wow. I think I have to be. Wow. Where are you going to go?

BJ's. Yeah. Anyone? I love BJ's. I love BJ's. A restaurant. Huh? No. Like the wholesaler.

Flip that for us. To break the silence. BJ's anyone? Didn't think that through at's anyone where's your arm oh behind my back why are you doing that the uber is gonna make a mess I'm watching it now. They're fingering it, and it's... TJ, is this just going to be in our backyard forever? Yes. Yeah, does it go away? If you add more water to it, it becomes more liquidy.

That's a visual. We'll just wait for the... Corn starch is just grinded down corn, right? I don't know. I'm not going to take a stab at that one. No, definitely not. I don't feel good about this. It looks way too watery.

Yep. And you gave them the ratio. You gave them the ratio. TJ, where did it go wrong? It had the ratio. Too much water, too fast. So wouldn't you just pour some of that out and add cornstarch? I think they added all the cornstarch in the area.

So TJ, if you just leave that over the weekend, what does it come back as? Like, is it just going to stay? I think just that. Oh, actually, I bet some of the water would evaporate and it might be perfect by Monday. To scoop it out? Oh, to scoop it out. I meant to, like, high step on it. Yeah, they fucked this up.

What's the difference between this and Nickelodeon slime? Ooh. What was the... Could you... What was the slime? Yeah, what was the slime? What was slime?

The ingredients? Yeah. Slime like the... The Danny Tamburelli had poured on his head. Yeah. Figure it out. He was my favorite.

Every time he'd scratch his nose. That was the secret slime. Who was the person that got fucked up by slime on the Kids' Choice Awards? Was it Katy Perry? She got blasted in the face. She got destroyed. Yeah, and Double Dare. Remember Double Dare?

Love that show. Vanilla pudding, apple slime. Oh, food? That's awesome. Can we see Katy Perry getting smashed by slime? I didn't realize the ESPYs were last night. Yeah, what? Is that like an award you put on your shelf?

I don't know. I feel like it's kind of lost its... Yeah. It is cool, though, when it came along for ESPN to invent a situation where you can give trophies to athletes because yeah for that there was never a wow we didn't have a forum for athletes to compete to win trophies that's a good point it was like oh my god i don't i don't think i didn't remember that was way. I don't think they tested that.

I don't think they tested that. Oh, my God. She was not ready. You definitely weren't supposed to put your face right there. Oh, man. Was that, like, accidental, TJ? Was that way too much pressure? I have no idea

I guess probably That was nuts She got hosed Give it one more time The sound The sound too The sound is so great Oh man Can we do that to brandon one day yeah we should do something to him mean to money just really mean just like don't we way over the

line yeah this time like over the line let's put uh let's put an airbag underneath his seat cushion oh those videos are awesome those are so funny i haven't Oh, my God. That's like paralyzed some people. Yeah. Pretty sure. Yeah. We might hurt them. Dude, we might be getting back into like the jackass era, which I love because I've seen the airbags.

And then also, have you guys seen the car honking at the golf courses? Yes. So good. That should be back. Have you seen the guy that goes up to people and asks for the time? And then when they look at their watch, he drives away. No. It's the best. That's be back. Have you seen the guy that goes up to people and asks for their time, and then when they look at their watch, he drives away? No. No, it's the best.

That's also great. Yeah, the airbags are intense. Were you here when we were talking about Steve-O getting breasts? No. No, he got breasts. He's getting, like, double Ds. He's getting tits. Why?

Just because. Funny. It's hilarious. It will be funny, too. We had the same initial reaction, but we talked about it. It's going to be funny. We got to the bottom of it. Who are we to not laugh at that? It'll be funny, Dan. Will they be hot? reaction, but we talked about it. It's going to be funny. We got to the bottom of it. Who are we to not laugh at that?

It'll be funny, Dan. Will they be hot? Yeah, they're going to be bare. Very supple. And we had whoever was working security came in, and we had a cop's perspective that if he's topless, he won't do anything about it. You're allowed to show those tits.

So that's funny. Steve-O going on a shirtless jog on the beach it'll be funny and his titties popping up does that technically he's been sober for a long time it's been an incredible story but I feel like if you're getting double D's that kind of weirdly breaks your sobriety

that's worse than you should have to give that back that's breaking surprise yeah that is that's you're just looking for anything to do

I got a penis tattoo on my forehead and fake tits but at least I didn't have a beer yeah I was off my rocker when I was drinking

the original story you would love too like a guy got them as a bet oh yeah is that Howard Stern no I thought I remembered was anyone getting deja vu did we do that segment I with the fake tick guy on the yak I remember there was a fake tick guy like years and years yeah that's what it was he was a gambler he got paid like a hundred grand to have them for a

year and he kept them for like three years No, he kept them for like 19 years Oh, 19? Yeah Do you think that you would feel your own tits? Constantly Yeah I would do Be flashing

Are you guys, when you're lounging at home, a hand in the pant guy? Yeah, me too Every once in a while Constantly If I'm watching non-fiction Non-fiction? Yeah Only non-fiction?

That's all I watch Oh, okay So always. Is it because it's warm? Because I'm not like- It's warm, yes. I'm not like playing. Yeah, you're not playing with yourself.

It's just- You're over the boxers, right? No. No, I'm in the under. Funny you asked that, Kate. No, I'm there. We just groin. Okay.

Yeah, just there. It's kind of just like- Yeah, it's like- I've caught myself doing it on the yak before. On the side of your leg. I'll do a little pinch, too. What? What kind of, why?

Pinch. Pinch yourself? A pinch on the sack. What? No. To scratch? Yeah. I get sack in between the legs, and I got to pinch it and pull it up.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Which was during the case race, I was pulling, I pulling My costume was rotted up my dick TJ I saw you blurred that out by the way You were Quigs or whoever it was Yeah you were blurred for some reason I was blurred for some reason

There was a violent Titus penis outline And he was ripping it and ripping it Violent It was sexual TJ you were Violent like it was okay for no like it like could have gotten to you or relax How much did you watch that I?

Had to make the call to blur it out like I thought it was gonna get the video like flagged for sexual content I had a fucking front wedgie dude. No no it was your whole dick in your hand Behind a little bit of spandex. You could see everything. It left nothing to the imagination. Was he like wiggling it? He was jerking it. Wait, send it to us. Yeah, yeah. Let us decide.

It was a lot. Not me. It was enough where I was like, I don't want this to happen. That's tough for TJ. That's tough. I was trying to protect you. Yeah. Trying to protect you.

I was trying to help you. You want you jerking your dick off on the internet unbelievable what's funniest about that is like god tj they're all dana's little fucking i was helping you tic tac dick was everywhere no you're allowed if it's all you can yeah exactly dana has to be the most mad about this dana's dick is so small that youtube is like yeah this is education Let's teach somebody how small a dick can be. Dana's sitting at home like, we had the blurring technology? Fuck. This is bullshit.

We had to blur Kyle in a rediscovering, Florida. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yep. A funny blur that doesn't need to be blurred is great. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yep. A funny blur that doesn't need to be blurred is great. Yeah. We did this museum in San Antonio where we were in front of a sculpture and the dick was right there.

And we had to blur it. And then she was like, yeah, and this is David, but this is when he was 19. And we had the blur go away immediately. So they're cleaning up. So I guess it's ready ready i think they've maxed out on it i think they're this there's a very good chance this sucks oh yeah oh yeah and it's like extremely boring but that's the risk we take i still don't know how we got here uh wrong glue trap okay yeah i know now i get it yeah yeah oh wait yeah this is yeah this is this is glue trap. Okay. Yeah. Now I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wait. Yeah, this is neither. Yeah, this is glue trap. This is neither glue nor trap. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But for every one of these, we have the wind dollars, the mousetrap wind room or stinky cloud.

Yeah. Which I would love to bring back. Oh. Which I think losing team of the case race has to do that next time. Stinky cloud. Stinky cloud Stinky cloud It was great The initial thing that TJ sent me

How many gallons was it TJ? It was a full pool Yeah that was the A larger version That would have been I don't know if it would have worked It was like an entire above ground pool That we were going to put on the

For this? Yeah It was 15 an entire above ground pool that we were going to put on there. For this? Yeah. It was 15 feet by 42 inches. Oh, my God. Hey, what did you guys do with that poll? Oh, the poll of the coworkers? Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant like a literal metal fraud.

We didn't do anything. TJ put up a poll. Right. I know the one guy that voted Titus. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Brandon? No. We didn't do any. TJ put up a poll. Right. I know the one guy that voted Titus. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Brandon? No.

Oh. Did you guys ever share the results? Somebody that wants to be most handsome in the office. Oh. We don't know any of the results. Can we see the results? I would love to know the results, yeah. I feel like that's a bad idea.

Why? Do you think people answered seriously? I can't tell. I guess maybe they could defend themselves. But you have to do the poll. If you do the poll, you need the result. I don't like you knowing, though, TJ, and us not knowing. Can we pull somebody down and just act like they're on the yak and then pull this up?

How many people answered? I can't see. Oh, 26. 29. Oh, so only three yeses, Nick. For me? Yeah. Oh.

We can do it. He's hazy three yeses, Nick. For me? Yeah. Oh, we can do it. He's hazy. He's hazy. Jock. Oh, this actually is awesome. Look at everyone. All right. What the hell, Casey, Quicks, and Jock?

This is great. This is great. How did you guys get on this? Like, how did you come up with this? I pose the question, what percent of your coworkers would anonymously vote yes to activate your career demise? Okay. All right, KB. Hank.

Chuck and Quigs. All right. Hank is a weird one in there. Fine, we're cool. Are you? Luke, six. Six. Quigs, Paige, Cain.

Chief? Chief? What the fuck, Chief? Why do we have all these outliers? And soupy. What is going on? This is great. Chief?

All right, Titus. All right. Only three. Chief! Chief! Chief, root, cage. All right, yeah. Chief, yeah.

Okay. None! None. There you go, Kate go everyone's afraid i got that protective vet stats that's huge what do i ever do to those guys casey that's out of nowhere answered yes to everyone so that one doesn't matter that means it's but you have hank i've you don't want hank you have rudy i have rudy yeah yeah i gotta fight rudy casey for me casey and chief for mook yeah yeah not to mention i had double everyone else oh yeah yeah yeah yeah only double that's pretty and actually more than double because i would have i didn't vote but i would have you okay yeah good know. So make it seven.

I'm glad we talk every day. I'm really glad. Did not call me. Did not. I might start, though. Don't call me. I've been thinking about it. I like that, though.

We need to do more of that. Just anonymous surveys. Yeah. I love anonymous surveys. We have everyone's name. See what everyone's thinking. But I want to do a truly anonymous one. Yeah.

Well, TJ's going to have the... No emails. Yeah, ask some really tough questions. Like if you would kill someone, would you kill someone here? Totally anonymous. I wonder if anyone at Barstool has committed murder. Something crazy like that.

Abetted a crime. Seriously. Do you think you ever shook the hand of somebody that killed somebody? Yes. Yes. Probably. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, we interviewed Aaron Hernandez. You did? No. No. I'm trying to think if we ever interviewed someone who would have. No. You think someone's on payroll that committed a felony that nobody knows about?

Big time. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Surely, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We should do an anonymous poll. Say you're a felon.

Yeah. Come clean with your felony. Let us know your felony. All right, so is Rick going to do this? I think this is about as oop lucky as it's going to get. You want to do the shady raise? Give me one second. Okay, nice.

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Shady rays, baby. Yeah, baby. All right. You want to turn off that mic TJ while we figure out where's Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.

This isn't going to work. So what is he going to do? Just step in it. Well, he's got to, he's got to run in it, run it like in place. Yeah. If you run in it it you don't sink like this like a football player well we kind of want him to sink right yeah but we'll see how long he can run what's the status there's a

very handsome chill person with a satchel walking this seems bad yeah it's not great. The ratio is not what oobleck should be. There is oobleck at the bottom, hiding beneath a lot of murky cornstarch and green dye water. So Rick will be going for a swim. Who is to blame for the messed up ratio? I don't really want to snitch. I feel like that's... Do itously to text tj so yes he'll have it but it will so rick's gonna jump in it blows i mean yeah he could jump in he could do a cannonball but it would splash it would not probably wouldn't hurt all that much can he go

can he go underwater yeah so what can we do? Add more cornstarch? Yeah, but what I've heard is that we've exhausted the entire city. You're sweating a lot. Yeah, I do that. It was a lot of work. We were carrying a lot of water. We didn't use carts, but we should have. Alright, so what do we need? We need Rick to lay in it?

I need satisfaction. I just get covered in the ooze, I guess. Is there any way we could get just a little bowl of the stuff from the bottom? I can get one. Do you want some in a bucket? Yeah, that'd be great. Just a little bit for us to eat. Try to stop sweating, too.

Yeah, please. It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable, yeah. All of us are uncomfortable. It's called hyperhidrosis, and it's a real thing. Hyperhidrosis? He doesn't have that, yeah. All of us are uncomfortable. It's called hyperhidrosis, and it's a real thing, big cat. Hyperhidrosis? He doesn't have that, though. What the fuck is hyperhidrosis?

It's when you sweat too much. No chance he has that. No. He wouldn't go to school in Florida. No. Was he from Florida? I think he's from Virginia. Yep, Northern Virginia.

This might be a dud. I think it's from Virginia. Yep, Northern Virginia. This might be a dud. I think it's a dud. We tried. These guys have worked all morning. Oh, it looks thick. At the bottom, super thick. He would just sink right into it. No.

That was so pathetic. Oh, no. I shouldn't have asked. Oh, my God, was that pathetic. Was Yeah I shouldn't have asked Oh my god was that pathetic Was he in charge of this? I put him in I put him in charge after the fact Oh no

There we go He's getting a little We need cheesecloth So what TJ what should we do? Should we make him just lay in it? I don't know I'm disappointed

yeah I am too I guess we can just keep it there for the weekend and just hope that it gets better yeah try Monday or something

yeah I really do think by Monday it would be okay alright so we'll try it on Monday I guess do we get him in there for a little bit today

I don't know I feel like I don't want if he gets in there and it's a bust, it ruins Monday. Do it off camera. Give him a try off camera. But look at it. It's just so, it's not even. It's not going to work. It's not even close.

All right. So we leave it till Monday. Shoot. Damn. This is just sad. Even him doing it. I know. I feel bad now. That's okay. Shoot. Damn. This is just sad, even him doing this. I know, I feel bad now. That's okay. Yeah, it's alright, Jacob. What is going on? He's straining it forth. He reminds me of the gingerbread man. Very sweet. Yeah.

Okay. Alright. Let's bring a little towel over. He has skeletons in his closet. Very sweet Yeah Okay Alright Let's bring a little towel over He has skeletons in his closet He murdered Maybe Yeah Okay I want to see if I can get it into a ball

Thank you Oh yeah Hold on If you squeeze it fast enough No Oh it's bad There's a little ball of it oh that's kind of cool oh that's kind of cool all right yeah i'm into this thank god we have that whole pool to have that little clump Oh, Kate. Kate. Don't. If you insist. Oh, it's weird.

When you try and rub it off your hands, it's wet, but it doesn't go anywhere because you're making it hard again. Does that make sense? Okay. Okay. We need a highlight tape of Kate's comments today. That's so weird. That's weird. Nobody else wants to touch it?

Kyle. No, it doesn't look fun. Come on. That's so weird. It gets drippy when you don't. And then when you go like this, it gets hard. Okay. We get it. Oh, no. Come on. You didn't do a great job of selling it. All right. I'm going to try.

It's cool. It is cool. You got to move it real quick. Hey, Zot, who's going to be the next coach of the U.S. men's team? Not Jurgen Klopp, I'll tell you that. Why are you so happy about that? No, I'm actually not. I'm very upset about that. He himself just, I don't know why they went after him. He himself just

stated that he needs a break, and I don't know why the U.S. is chasing after him. They need to pick one soon, Big Cat. Big two years coming up. Yeah. Is Spain going to win tomorrow? You know what? I reluctantly am going to say this, but I feel like it's destiny for England finally.

Whoa. Yeah. It's coming home. They've been playing terrible, but just getting away with it every single game, it just feels like destiny. Did you guys see the Killers concert? That was cool. That was unreal.

Awesome. No, they're British passing. They love that song so much over there. Wait, where are the Vegas? Oh, which song?

Uh, Mr. Brightside. Oh, duh. Oh yeah. This is kind of fun. Yeah.

Is it like, yeah, I'm glad I did it. What's up, Max? Come here for a sec. Here's a towel. You want to get in the oobleck?

No. All right, that's fine. What is it? Nothing. I didn't even have anything. I just wanted you to be on the wheel. Oh, because that's the secret of is it? Nothing, I didn't even have anything. I just wanted you to be on the wheel. Oh, because that's... Yeah, no, anyone who sits down has to be on the wheel.

Got it. I... Yeah. Okay. It could easily be dry. What? Yeah, you could take the oobleck back. Rick, we're going to try again on Monday.

He'll be ready, he said. It's okay, Jacob. Don't beat yourself up. It makes your hands feel so nice. But what are your socials so people can yell at you? Yeah. Alligator Aims. Alligator Aims.

So anyone who was frustrated about the- A-I-M-S? No. A-I-M-E-S? Iowa. Alligator Aims. alligator aims alligator aims so anyone who was frustrated about aims no aimes iowa alligator aims all right so yeah all your anger just go right to jacob okay he said he'll take the brunt of the force what a guy yeah it's close it's close wanna do the high noon real quick yeah I'll be sipping some

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has 100 calories, is gluten-free, and has no added sugar. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find a pack near you. What are you guys doing this weekend? Not a damn thing. Oh, yeah, I'm coming over. Titus is doing nothing alone. Yeah, you're allowed to come. You want to do nothing alone at Titus's?

Yeah, I'm going to have a party. I'm going to have a do-nothing party. That would be amazing. Separate room're allowed to come. Yeah. You want to do nothing alone at Titus's? Yeah. I'm going to have a party. I'm going to have a do nothing party. That would be amazing. Separate room chills at your house. Yeah. I wonder how many people I could get to just come over. You could pack the house. Don't give any like food, drink.

No. Yeah. Like you can't put anything out. Get a spot in the place. Like you just go about your day. Yeah. You're like, if you want to go take a nap, you go take a nap with all people in your house right yeah we're all we never talk to each other yeah god that'd be awesome that would be cool i think i'm and i know he's watching this so this is

probably not the forum to say this but i think i'm gonna invite connor griffin over on sunday to watch game of thrones wow Oh, and I'm worried about your dick, Titus. Oh, you're... Oh, he sent it. Oh my god. You're jerking off, dude. Oh, yeah.

It's all over your dick. It's your full dick. Alright, that was a good blur. You did kind of fondle the tip. Okay. Violently tugging at my penis. If you comment Mook W on this video, I'll DM it to you on Twitter. Wow. Good deal, good deal.

That's a great deal. The Cubs might be back. The Cubs are back, yeah. It's pretty exciting. Yeah, it's crazy how we went from, I'll never watch another second of this team, to we're winning the fucking World Series. That's what baseball's good for.

And your boys, Nick, a bunch of pussies. For pulling them? Yeah. No, I'm actually, no-hitters are just like, eh. It was a perfect game. I'm not a no-hitters are just like, eh. It was a perfect game. You're not a no-hitter guy, yeah. I'm not a no-hitter guy. Perfect games, awesome.

I think it would be like. Dude, think about that. The Pirates need positivity. No-hitters rule. I don't. They're not awesome? They're awesome. They've lost their luster because they've happened so much more because guys swing for the fences.

They don't happen anymore at all, though. No. But there was that stretch where they happened like there was like five a year and I got off of them. Perfect games are incredible to me because those, there's like what, 28 of them in all baseball history?

I didn't know that. Yeah. How many are there, TJ? I know Dallas Braden had, I think he was the 27th. For as old as baseball is That's fucking nuts That's crazy Yeah

24 Oh he was not the 27th 24 Nobody's thrown more than one Like that's cool That is cool No hitters No hitters like the cousin

But like no hitters like With like a shitload of walks Like come on That's 24. I remember when Edwin Jackson had one. How many walks did Edwin Jackson throw when he threw his no-hitter? Like eight? Wait, there's only 323 no-hitters ever?

Ever. What? I liked your take about the cycle. I love the cycle. I feel like the cycle doesn't happen ever. You like the cycle more than the no-hitter? I do. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.

Eight walks. Yeah, that's right. Eight walks. I mean, come on. Eight walks. That's not a no-hitter that I can celebrate. Eight walks? He was in jams.

Doc Ellis did it. How many did he have? He had a lot of walks. He had like eight walks. Yeah, Nolan Ryan had like four no-hitters with a lot of walks. That's the perfect game is clears no-hitters. Yeah, well, yeah. I'm saying no-hitter clears just a regular-ass day of baseball.

The no-hitter is like it's less about this is a historical, I'll remember this the rest of my life, and it's more about this is a boring-ass day of July baseball with a lot of forgettable baseball going, holy shit, there's something interesting happening. Let me lock in on this, and then you have that taken from you. It sucks. In person, I'll agree.

I just don't know. Yeah. It would have been cool. I think it would have been like, oh, cool. What about, okay, Kerry Wood's 20 strikeout game is better than a no-hitter. It's pretty good, yeah. Like, that's cooler than a no-hitter.

But you're, I'm not comparing a no-hitter to other awesome pitching feats. I'm comparing, again, a no-hitter to just like a Pirates-Brewers game. All right, I agree with you there. Just a normal Pirates-Brewers game. I think it's just more, I guess. That's why I like the no-hitter.

Yeah. Because I would not have cared about that game until I was told in the fourth or fifth inning he's got a no-hitter going. I was like, oh, shit. Now I got to watch. I guess I have different. It has to be a no-hitter with like one walk to me. Yeah. Or like two walks.

Because. That makes sense. And a lot of strikeouts, too. Because it's like that guy was so dominant today. That's where I'm like, oh, that was awesome. Yeah. Where it's like if a guy has like three strikeouts and three walks and a no hitter, it's like, all right, good job.

But yeah, can't really get. We need a perfect game. Someone should throw a perfect game. When was the last perfect game? They should do that. Domingo Herman. Domingo Herman. When was that?

Two years ago, I think. Okay. So we're due. We Domingo Hermann. When was that? Two years ago, I think. Okay. So we're due. We're about a white dude. Dallas? Yeah. David Wells. We had him on the show.

When did Dallas do it? He did it in... It was on Mother's Day. 11, I'll say. Wow. 20... 2009. Yeah, I was going to say 08.

Felix. 2000. Look at the gap Between that We need Herman off of that too Cause he's a bad guy Oh yeah Take it away Bad bad guy

Matt King Wow Hernandez That was Oh that was a big year No that was like months apart Yeah Wow Roy Holiday

2010 2010 Do they get like bonuses for that? No Burley Burley did it in like an hour and 30 minutes Yeah That was that sick catch

Yeah David Cohn Yeah I mean there's like big gaps Is it It's an unwritten rule to like David Cohn in 88 pitches is insane That is crazy Thatohn in 88 pitches is insane. That is crazy. That's nuts. 88 pitches.

What did you say? It's an unwritten rule to like bunt during a perfect game or no hitter, right? To not bunt. To not, yeah. To not bunt. Don't be an asshole. Which I kind of like. I like when guys do bunt.

Yeah. Unwritten rules are so stupid. I don't like that in my life. It's the professional league. Write the rule down if you want it. Yeah. No bunt. Yeah. Unwritten rules are so stupid. I don't like that. It's the professional league. Write the rule down if you want it. Yeah. No bunting. Yeah.

Make it a rule. Unwritten rules. What do they do? Do they just add more color? Yeah, that's weird. They got a blue film on top now. Interesting, interesting. I think they're just having fun.

We're going to try on Monday. Is there a quarterback who's ever had a perfect game? Like only completions? A perfect passer rating happens a lot. Yeah, perfect passer rating does. I want to say Drew Brees

had like... What's the most completions without an incompletion? I want to say Drew Brees was like 23 for 25 or something. Can you look at that? What about Goff against the Chiefs that one year? That game was awesome. They're afraid it's going to leak onto the court over the weekend,

so they're getting rid of the oobleck. Okay, so it was just a failed experiment. And that's also a very good call by Paige. They worked on that all day. Somebody should probably get in it. Yeah, Rick, get in it.. Somebody should probably get in it. Yeah, Rick, get in it. Or Jacob, you get in it. Yeah.

Lay in it. Solemnly nods. Or Rick gets in it. Rick gets in it. I think Rick should get in there. Tell Rick to get in it. Why don't you both get in it and just kind of have a slap fight a little bit. It's a little silly. Slop get in there. Tell Rick to get in it. He came in mentally prepared for this today. Why don't you both get in it and just kind of have a slap fight a little bit? Yeah.

It's a little silly. Slop around in there. Yeah, just do a little something. A little grab ass. Chicken fights in the oobleck. Your hands feel incredible afterwards. They're so smooth. It is cool.

I'm going out to dinner with Caitlin and Paige tonight. Whoa. Unless they find cooler things to do. All right. So a big maybe. Yeah. I might be going out to dinner

with Caitlin and Paige. Yeah, I was right. Drew Brees in a game went 29 for 30. That's really good. That's pretty insane. Not perfect. Not perfect.

Yeah, Bill Walton in the national title. Yeah, yeah. Almost perfect. Yeah, he Walton in the national title. Yeah, yeah. Almost perfect. Yeah, he did. Missed one shot. What's the... I'd rather see a streaker than either of those things. So is Bill Walton the guy who's made the most shots without any misses?

No, he missed one in the national championship. He was 22 for 23, I think. Oh, my God. Is Rick going in in sweatpants? But he did miss one. Oh, poor Paige. Rolling Stone did a feature on Hawk to a Girl. Can't wait to get to...

That'll be cool. Get to the grocery. They're calling her Gen Z Dolly Parton. Yeah, Dolly Parton. She's the hero we need right now. As the country enters election season Get to the grocery and they're calling her Gen Z Dolly Parton. Yeah, Dolly Parton. Oh, my God. She's the hero we need right now. Okay. As the country enters election season and becomes divided, we can all rally around her.

I'm fired up about that. She's walking. I'm excited to read. Can't wait. Rick, is it fun? Are you having fun? I bet it feels cool between your toes. Hey, we tried.

I've spent money on worse. Rick, jump as high as you can and just splash. Yeah, jump as high as you can. Do an obnoxious splash. Just jump up and stomp your feet down. You think he's stuck in it? No, because I think it's going to get stuck on the court. Maybe not.

All right. Have a good weekend sorry too we tried we tried we gave it a try that's so disappointing now we're gonna have to i think now i haven't felt like this since the first time we tried to get kyle in the balloon yeah now i'm gonna become obsessed with now we're gonna have to do oobleck at some point. Yeah. We should save this container and retry. This will be our new white whale. This is going to bleed us dry financially.

Yeah. Oh, they're splash fighting. They're getting silly. Yeah, they are getting a little silly. Oh, don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Rick, no. Oh, Rick. Oh, Rick, stop. He's trying to pick up the ooblack oh tj we're never gonna give up on ooblack i'll say that right now that's my that's yeah i will say that to the yak listeners today was the first but it won't be the last yeah we got it we got it and if you witness the balloon saga give the tim tebow speech about oobleck. It's never going to happen. You'll never see anyone work as hard on oobleck. That's how it works.

You'll never see. God bless. The best part is when we actually do it, it won't be that cool still. Yeah, I know. Yeah, this is our mission. We've been put on earth to make oobleck. And we will do it. All right, let's spin the wheel, TJ.

The oars are going to rip the bottom? Oh. Oh. Oh, Jacob. What's on the bottom? Is it just... It must not be a hard bottom. It must be like a trash bag.

Yeah, that's like a portable koi pond. Oh, boy. You know what? We'll do oobleck at Barstool Camp. That's a good idea. Because it's outdoors. Yeah. Right, TJ?

It's a great call. We're doing the yak from there. Correct. Done. That will be our oobleck day. That will be a good competition. Who can stay on top of it longest? Yeah. Two people. And we'll actually, yeah, we'll do this correctly.

We'll get like fucking pallets of cornstarch. Yeah, I feel confident in that now. You'd have to. Yeah. How could I not feel confident? I mean, this was a colossal failure. Like probably the biggest we've ever had. Wait, what?

Scratch-off week? Scratch-off week? No, we still did what we said we were going to do. Yeah. This. Jeez. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh he stuck? I feel like that was very unnecessary. Rick, Rick, do it again with the camera. No, don't do it again. Oh, the court. Yeah, actually, this will actually, it was already a colossal failure.

Somehow having this ruin the court will just take it to a total ruin. Which it has. It's going to give us, yeah. Oh, no. It's going to give us... Oh, no. It's going to be months of cleanup. This is a terrible... Why is he fretting? He's fretting. Rick, Rick, don't...

Come here, Rick. Don't come here. Don't splash again, but lay down and do like the Undertaker pop-up for a video. Yeah, at least we get a clip out of it. That would look cool. Don't splash again, but lay down and do like the Undertaker pop-up. For a video. Yeah, at least we get a clip out of it. That would look cool.

I love him, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's perfectly Rick-sized. Oh! Do it to the camera. Do it to the camera. Do it to Luke. Now, can he camera Legs to the legs Do it to Do it to Luke No

Can he do it without his legs bopping up? Wait do it without your legs bopping up Rick Wait a minute This isn't a failure yet Wait no Rick Without your legs popping up Why do your legs shoot up in the air? Why do they do that?

Yeah lay Watch Like this dude Rick Watch Rick Like this, dude. Rick, watch. Rick. Like this. You're going to like this. Oh, is it hard?

No, you can do it, but you're doing it like this. Okay. Is it impossible to do in a pool? It's a little light. All right. Send us those videos. Send TJ those videos. We might have some, boys. Boys, we might have videos. Send TJ those videos. We might have some, boys.

One more attempt. Your feet cannot break the water. Keep your toes under the top of the water. And go slow. You can go slow. You don't have to go fast. If we see your toes, you lose. Keep going.

There we go. All right, send those to TJ. Let's watch those. This might be... We might have found something. I think we got it. We got it. We might have found out also...

He's going to try again. ...that Rick has no core strength. No core strength. Oh, it's so bad. Rick's got a banging bod. Yeah. Strong body. Yeah, real strong.

That's a Midwest build right there. Yeah. He's just power. Straight Culver's. Through and through. All right, TJ, spin the wheel and then we'll finish

with watching whatever Rick just produced. Whatever that was. Oh, motherfucker. Towel whip. Yeah. But if it lands on Titus,

we all get to towel whip. We all get to whip. And it always lands on me. Max was here today. Yep, Max is here. Jacob, Goldfinger. Yep. I'm not in a towel whipping mood.

This is going to be the time to have it laying on you because I don't feel like I have my best stuff today. It's one spin. What was it? We all get a turn whipping him if it. Oh, yeah. Right, okay. it wasn't we all get a turn whipping him if it oh yeah right okay oh man hmm Eliminator

No Kyle Whipp is never Eliminator Kyle Whipp is never Eliminator This is what I feared the most God damn it Give me your worst Whipp Gotta find the right Whip him.

He's got to find the right line. Whip his ass. Are you okay with this, Kyle? Getting whipped by Mark? Yeah. Yeah. I think I'll be all right. This is the second time. Right?

Yeah, second. Yeah. Did it break skin the first time? No, but it hurt. Oh, he has no clothes to wear, so they got him a turkey costume. Oh, he donated a pause. Thanks, man. Good dude.

Coldfinger, give him back. By the way, we should have said congrats to Nate for cashing. Oh, yeah. What a ride. It was flowers. Ten grand, right? 27,500. Oh, shit. Oh, wow. So was flowers. Yeah. $10,000, right? $27,500. Oh, shit.

Oh, wow. So did you make a little bit of money? I better have. I don't know how that wouldn't. Have you talked to him? I have not brought it up. We'll see. I mean, I assume he'll just tell me when.

Well, I funded all of it he he was gonna pay me back four grand no matter what but i did fund i fronted all 10k so oh i have to figure that out yeah that was fun i was like man i was thinking of like, what point do I have to go out there? It would have been so electric. If he got into, like, top 100. Oh, yeah, top 100. Is this, like, a new itch that you have? Oh, I've had it for years. Buying stakes?

I'm still down. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because I've done Mincy. Oh, remember one year I paid all of Owen. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I'm sure Mincy's taking credit.

He has to be. Dampening the edge. Do you have the videos? Did you send the videos? True artiste. All right, TJ, let me see one of these videos. Actually, we'll finish with the video. Let's do that.

Oh, my God. Man, the guy's good. I'd hate to be an ass cheek right now. Guy is good. Do we have, like, a super slow-mo cam? I want to see the ripple of KB's cheek. I like those shorts, KB. Wide leg. Okay.

Turn around. Turn around. Turn around. That's a wide pant leg. You could fit a whole other TV in there. Sideways. Yeah. Sideways.

All right, you ready? Bear ass. Not bear ass. Boxers. Give him a cheek. Yeah, there you go. Those are like Vantablack. Oh! That way, right? Yeah. him a cheek yeah there you go those are like vanta black got him it hurts every time these videos are gonna be depressing aren't they yeah yeah

okay nope Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Nope. Nope. Off to a great start. This is good shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, that looked good. Okay. Hello. Literally viral.

Yep. All right. Do we ever switch the camera? I have one popping up. Wait. I want to see the pop-up. Undertaker. All right. Here we go. Wait, I want to see the pop-up. Undertaker. All right, here we go.

Oh, yeah, it's just as bad as I thought it would be. Oh, my God. It's so bad. Okay, maybe it's so bad it's good. That's the one. This is some good shit, boys. Yeah. We really did it this time. A sleeping dad hears the garage door open

Oh his pants are crazy Oh wow He's trying to wash the oobleck off Yeah it gets more oobleck on it Alright we'll see everyone Monday Full crew back Monday Hopefully We should do the thing when Yeah it gets more All right we'll see Everyone Monday Full crew back Monday Maybe Hopefully

Hopefully yeah We should maybe Oh we should do the thing When a guy hits his First home run In MLB And no one talks to him We should do that to Brandon

Yes Oh yeah Yes Have him come Somehow make him Like two minutes late Just get him Chick-fil-A

Sit down We all get up Yeah Or no just sit here And we all get up yeah or no just sit here and we'll never address him oh that's funny yeah every time he talks the second he stops talking we just move yeah yeah that's funny tune in monday see everyone Thank you. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Have a good weekend, everybody.

Sorry that didn't work. All right, love you, bye.