The Yak - The Show Gets A Massive Rebrand | The Yak 9-12-22

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

The Scorpion EraYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello! Whole crew here. Whole boys are back. Why is this TV so much closer? I kind of like it. DAZN week, that's why.

I twisted out. Get out of my fucking face. Get out of my face. DAZN week. We're going to Vegas on Thursday. Ronan and I are leaving at 1 o'clock on Thursday. And there's a special yak from Vegas on Friday. That's going to be awesome.

With Vegas Dave. Yeah, with Vegas Dave. Fun for you guys, But while we're back here We're going to Boozy Brunch What? Sorry boys Bastards I knew you guys

Were going to plan something Bottomless? Upper west side? It's going to be Upper west side Boozy Brunch We're going to play A catch afterwards

Did you go tailgate On Saturday? No No I didn't Damn you should have Maybe we tailgate The Nebraska game I'd like that

We almost died in Iowa. Yeah, you did. Yeah, it got rough. It's because of you, Brandon. You invited that. 100% him. You invited that. You were like, throw things at him.

No, no, no, no, no. That's okay. Yeah, I did. I decided early I was going to play the heel. I was going to do it. I was going to go. But I wasn't the only one that said throw things at Brandon Walker. I mean, it was pretty much understood. They was going to do it. I was going to go, but I wasn't the only one that said throw things at Brandon Walker. I mean, it was pretty much

understood. They brought cans, balls. We actually specifically said stop throwing. There, yes. When I egged it on, that was... That's why none of you can throw it and hit me and might as well be Spencer Petras out here throwing the fucking ball. That's a good line.

I got smoked. What did Casey... Yeah, Casey got kind of hit in the head there. Luckily the baby's not in the cranium. Look at that one. Look at that one. That one was rough. Take that bigger. This guy actually tried to kill me.

That. Yeah. It's hard to hit the sign behind him. It was full of beer. Don't want throwing you. Hitting us. Oh, shit. It was full of beer. No more throwing you. Hitting us. Oh, shit. That was full.

That was full. Good lines. Obviously, it's not safe. Yeah. We can't have that happen again. No. We can't have it happen again. People in the audience have to be safe.

Casey's pregnant. Here it comes. Dave and I, in the car on the way to the airport were like, if it was just the two of us, that was kind of thrilling. Try to do a show but also not die. You've got to see who's the most accurate fan base is. Yeah. Oh, no.

Can't do that shit again. We're going to have to put ourselves in a weird situation. Wrestlers can't throw. I can't walk me out. You guys aren't going up the fairbanks. Sharpshooters up there. He had to walk me out. He said, get behind me.

They won't throw it at me. Yeah, I was like, just stand by me. They're not going to chuck it at me, and you'll be fine. And he, like, it was bad. They were yelling. They were trying to get to me. Nick had a great idea for our Anus Live show. What are you bringing?

Oh, yeah, we have a crate of tomatoes for our Anus Live show. No, we were saying that we're going to have to be like Roadhouse, the double deuce. We're going to put ourselves in a cage. A chicken wire. Yeah, we're going to have to chicken wire in the front. But I'm not going to play the heel like that. That was a one-time thing where it was Iowa. I had a history with them.

They did not like me. Like Tennessee, it won't be like that. Your history with them is just tweets back and forth. No, he said he was very racist towards white people. I was not. Oh, yeah said he was very racist towards white people. I was not. And trust me, Iowa doesn't have a problem with racism. I said I was mad we lost to the slowest, whitest team in America. I don't think that's even inaccurate.

I think they would share your frustration with their offense. I would think that too. But no, they tried to get my wife fired. They tried to get me fired. What? Did all that. They called my wife's job and said, in the aftermath, three years ago, they called my wife's job and said after the in the aftermath three years ago they called my wife's job and said this man is racist do not employ his wife what happened

that's crazy you do invite it with your spicy rhetoric though oh yeah no yeah specialize in spicy rhetoric it's always this guy sucks or this person's like the worst in in america i try not to do that as much but You do it every single day of the year. I do it too much. Brandon does play the heel very well. He's like, if you could take out the fact that people were getting smoked in the face with cans, it was very fun. You call it playing the heel if it's never turned off?

Oh, good question. I think the best heels are the ones that believe what they're saying. Oh. No, I think that's accurate. Isn't there like a historical precedence with this? Didn't this happen with like WCW or either Nitro or Thunder where people would just pepper the ring with stuff and they got them to stop somehow?

Yeah, they would throw trash. And the famous one is Kevin Nash or Scott Hall when the NWO was always, yeah, they would throw trash. And the famous one is Kevin Nash or Scott Hall, when the NWO formed, got hit in the face or got hit in the head with a drink, and he just used the water and slicked back his hair. Oh, I was saying that I actually, like, in the car ride when we were leaving, I was like, I might start bringing a razor blade and cutting myself underneath. Oh, yeah. It was like, how sick would that be if I did the whole show gushing blood out of my face?

That would be awesome. It's like, how sick would that be if I did the whole show gushing blood out of my face? That would be awesome. It would be incredible. I'd win the hardcore title of college football show. It was about a 50-minute show, and for the first 35 minutes, it was like, they were throwing stuff and they were mad, but it was a fun mad, fun angry. And once that moment happened, it was terrifying. Security guard Mike had a hell of a catch there. Oh, hell of a catch.

We should show that you know brandon turned to me he had to like look back at his video board and it was it was like we were in fallujah he was like hey i'm gonna look back you got to make sure that you got like six yeah i wasn't by the way i was hoping he was i volunteer i was like do y'all want me to leave the stage? Yeah. I mean, again, I thought it was awesome, but I know it's not safe. I think that really. Oh, gotcha. Damn, dude. Mike was ready to beat the fuck out of everyone.

See, I'm standing there. I was going to stay on the stage after y'all left and just let them do it. But Mike told me to get my fucking ass off the stage. That's hilarious. It was fun. I think that that really sets apart our college football show from every other one, so I really think that we should lean into it. And I don't think the chicken wire, like it's Bob's Country Bunker, is a bad idea. I'm going to be the biggest dick sucker in the world.

Every other one. No, dude. It steps it up. It makes it better. If I'm in Knoxville, I'm going to be Mr. Tennessee. I'm going to be Big T. Imagine a college kid having the option to go to the fucking corporate-ass one or the fucking rowdy-ass one.

And who's picking what and which one do you want to come to your show? We have that option without throwing, though. Why? It's still rowdy. We should maybe just have a dunk tank for you. Yeah, they throw their shit at that. And it's sponsored, yeah. That's fine.

It's all piss. Yeah. Piss and cum. Piss and cum. We all get to line up and piss in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blood, too. I want blood in there.

You get to roast their little peeners. Yeah. I could probably use a suit of armor to come out in at Rutgers if you want that. What is it? A suit of armor if you want people to throw stuff at you. No, no, no. We don't.

We cannot have this happen again. Why? Because Casey's pregnant and- Why don't you just- Is it ever a different part of the- It was smart of you guys to cut the part where Brandon said, throw the cans at the pregnant lady. In her belly.

I didn't think one of them would miss that part. The problem is it's not really about us. It's that when people are throwing shit, it's all the people in the front who are getting hit in the back of the head. Yeah. That's a liability. it's that when people are throwing shit it's all the people in the front who are getting hit in the back of the head. That's a liability. So is there a gate to get into your stage area? I think it's freewheeling.

Maybe a gate where you could just be like, no cans. Yeah. And then throw cups. Like water balloons. Yeah. We can pass out water balloons. That would be fine. That would be very funny.

Or just have Casey step off stage when it's time for the violence. When it's time for the carnage, you let the boys get out there. He's like, all right, I'm going to go, everybody. Good show. And then everything goes crazy. Yeah. And then we see Last Man Standing. It felt like American Gladiator with the tennis ball gun.

It was awesome. It was awesome. I mean, looking back at the clip, I'm like, I can't believe I stood up and said that. But in the moment, the adrenaline, it was fun. Full Fred Durst. It was awesome. It was awesome. I mean, looking back at the clip, I'm like, I can't believe I stood up and said that. But in the moment, the adrenaline, it was fun. Full Fred Durst. It was really fun. The second pop punk show ever was in Boston, and I was just antagonizing the fuck out of them about the Super Bowl, and they were raining down shit on me.

And I loved it, dude. And everybody else was getting, like, Robbie Fox almost fought a fan. He was trying to sprint out and fight a guy in the balcony. i fucking loved it dude it's it's kind of sweet i mean the master of chaos is like it's something yes it's like you all hate me you're all mad what's that clip where they're just throwing chairs in the middle and they just keep oh that was awesome that's acw there were so many chairs can you find that dj yeah the chair they didn't stop they're not doing the smart thing of like we're eating this worse. Yeah, we do have to talk about it.

You're reminiscing like the season's over. It was week one. There's no reason for it to happen in Tennessee. Oh, yeah. That's it. Yeah. It's just barely started. Oh, it's barely beginning.

No, it's going. There's a guy under there. Multiple people under there. Something happens when it's done in mass like that, it hurts significantly less. Oh, yeah. You cover yourself, yeah. Yep, that was a fun time.

Did anyone confront you afterwards? Any individual confrontations? When he walked me to the car, there was a guy that was screaming, fuck you, Brandon Walker, fuck you, I'm going to fuck you up, and the security got him. Oh got him oh nice was he bigger than you we haven't seen him again i didn't see him yeah well no one has heard him i heard him yeah if there is a segmented throwing you could get the crowd going with the bfw chant much like the ecw chant i could i could you're

way too happy with that that would be quite the plot twist if it turned out Mike was just, like, actually killing people. Yeah. Yeah. Or us. I know. He killed him. Mike was fired the fuck out of it. Oh, yeah.

Those guys live for that. They don't get action. Yeah. They live for that. He's got the itchiest trigger finger. Yeah. He was itching for the gun the whole time. Oh, my God.

He's got seasonal allergies. We've completely passed over the most important part of Saturday. I saw Brandon's car, which is my car. Yeah. I mean, yes, it's a nice car. Same bumper stickers and everything. Everything. You saw my wife.

Oh, no way. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. With a seatbelt on. Oh. I didn't realize that you got that close to the car. Oh, you didn't see me?

I got all the way up to the car because I was like, snapshot for the act. Were you able to get your jaw up with one hand or two off the floor? Rudy was carrying it to the car with me. With a wheelbarrow? Yeah. And Big Cat really liked your car. He was licking the window. was carrying it to the car with a wheelbarrow yeah yeah and big cat really liked your car he's licking the window i did have a funny moment on the way back and this will be the last from

saturday but i drove back to rudy lives in brooklyn as well and so i was driving and i had i don't know 15 bets going so i had him checking the scores and i had to like coach him how to deliver me the news because he would be like oh like first down Washington State I'm like no no Rudy like and so by the end of the ride he was just like that's another one for Tennessee oh yeah yeah because Wisconsin was getting beat at the time too yeah he was he was he was got his bedside manner right delivering every line like someone in my family just died it was awesome because it was a tough weekend for your boy. Damn. Yeah.

It was that bad? I mean, I was up until 3 in the morning on Saturday. I was up until 3 in the morning last night. Then Sass just strolled in and said that he slept from 5 p.m. to noon. You were up tweeting at like 6 a.m. this morning, too. A long night's sleep. My son had his first day of school, so I had to get up. Oh, yeah.

I don't know how you do that shit, man. I'd like to go back to the sass thing for a second. Yeah. Did you sleep for 19 hours? I did, yeah. It was a... I didn't get... I mean, I had an 8 a.m. flight.

I didn't get a lot of sleep. I didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend, so I caught up on sleep. It's 10 more hours than I've slept in the last 70... I don't have kids. It was a nice amount of sleep. And then I almost became the best sports better in the world this weekend. Really? Undefeated.

I was 2-0. Get Eagle's money line. Not as important. That you told me to do. Yeah. I lost everything. Well. You bet everything.

I don't know if you saw, but I lost my undefeated record. I went 0-7. Yeah. It was everything to you. It was everything to me. All I cared about was the record. He lost once, though. Yeah, you lost once. I went 0-7. It was everything to you. It was everything to me. All I cared about was the record. He lost once, though. Yeah, he lost once.

I went 0-7. One twice. I went 0-7. Yeah. You know how hard that is to do? It seems hard because it seemed really easy at first. But now I'm actually attracted to the others. Like, what if I never win a bet this year?

Yeah, that would also be impressive. That would be incredibly impressive. Yeah. It would be legendary. I mean, what happens if you just bet the one that everyone's saying is gonna win every time? It feels like it's pretty hard to lose, right? Does that just lose the excitement? But he, uh,

well, the Eagles was a money line bet, so it was like less odds. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it just felt good to win. You didn't go 2-0 then. Oh, yeah. I won the Eagles and I won Diaz. Yeah. You went out.

What were you, Brandon? I was pretty good. I was 5-2 yesterday. It's not 2-1. Not as good as 0-7. I went 4-8 on Saturday, so I was terrible. So that's the best bettors in the world. They're like 52.6%.

I know. They're 66.7. Yeah. Having two is better than 2-1 also. It is, definitely. Not as good as 0-7. Term%. I know. You're 66.7. Yeah. Having two is better than two and one also. It is, definitely. Not as good as 0 and 7. Terms are memorable. It's harder.

It's harder. Talking about purely like who's everyone talking about right now, it's 0 and 7, man. So if I just did everything that you, if I just did the opposite of you, I would have been 7. Well, so obviously everyone just says that. They're like, I'm going to fade you forever. I will get hot eventually yeah what did john lester went like oh for 67 once in a row uh yeah yes batting when he hit that home run him and bartolo cologne the two like most electric home runs

um i don't know if you could bartolo was a lot yeah bartolo's electric i was just happy for john lester there i'm gonna do advisors, like, literally in a trash can, I think. I'm going to sit in a trash can for the whole time. That was a good pull on the John Lester stat. That was good. Were you John Lester on the mind? I think I had a streak going. I was 0 for something, like, a while ago, and I looked up that just to make a joke,

and I forgot to do it, so I used it now. That's nice. KB, since we're like... I was 0 for something in getting a Gen 2 city bike the other day. I was like 0 for... You could have found one, just walked to the next state. I saw somebody sprinting.

The map doesn't show you where the Gen 2s are. No, it doesn't, just the electrics. I'll show you right now. Do I have to update the app? You were saying like, oh, I'm 0 for 4. Who else has had this? I looked up longest streaks without a, and it was John Lester. Next gen.

Three options. I don't have that option. Three options on mine. All bikes, next gen bikes, e-bikes only. I've got to update the app. The other day I got one of the e-bikes broken. Most of them are broken. Such a bummer.

Then it's just a fully toned regular bike. Yeah, it's a heavier regular bike. The worst is when you get on one, it's not broken, and then you realize the seat's broken, so you slump all the way down. Oh, yeah. You're low-riding, and you're like a dickhead. KB, since we're recapping weekends, how is fashion?

This one is the most insane to me, because I look at my face more than you guys, and this one is just my face. There's no way you look at your face more than I do. Yeah, I disagree on that heavily. I have an hour right now. Oh, you're right. Yeah, you definitely look at your face the most.

I see you so much more than you see me. I didn't even think about that. That's what I look like. That's you. That is your face. That's my entire face. I don't think you make those looks. Yeah, you do that look.

Next time you're cutting, that is you. Wait, what's the audio? Oh, it's music. Why is it always a gay guy? It always is a gay guy. It's a song. Wait, there is it. We zoom in on him in that full camera.

Apparently he's a comedian around here too, so we got to find him. We got to get him in. We have to have KB versus KB for an entire episode. KB. There's been a lot of you. He has the same everything, though, like the Semitic stash. Wait, why is he wearing a hat that just says 2020?

Probably to celebrate New Year. Yeah. Is that him back there? Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. It's Gay B. Looking great. Holy shit.

Same look I would give, too. That's how you hold your can. Yeah, that is just you, dude. Is that that girl from SNL on the bottom left? Like, way down on the bottom left. Now keep going. That's Kristen Wiig. Keep going.

Isn't that that girl from SNL? Alyssa Villasenor? Sarah Swimmer? Oh.enor? Sarah Swimmer? Oh. Is it? Sarah Swimmer. Hey, but Spencer Lee shouted you out the other day.

What? Oh, yeah. I was pumped you guys got to see him. When I said it, I was like, yeah, KB's a huge fan. He's like, dude, I fucking love KB. Because I guess you did a video with him. You should see his lifting video.

Who's that? Who is this? He's the three-time national champion for Iowa wrestling. He's the dude who called that was very good hosting by you Rone because I know you know who he is. The audience doesn't. I know him very

well. He was the guy who went viral because he won the national championship with two torn ACLs and he's like excuses are for wussies. Which is kind of an excuse in itself. I'll give him that.

You need ACLs? It seems like more and more people are just... It's no ACLs. He just doesn't have them? Or they were both torn. Because doesn't DeJuan Blair not have two ACLs or something like that? You just don't need ACLs? I asked him.

He said in my sport, you can get by without them. Yeah, because you know what that meant. You cannot. That's what he said. It's a juking thing, right? It's also one national championship, so I guess. Did he get his ACLs fixed? He's the only one that could have done that.

Right. He's still, I think, rehabilitated. I said you have to plant your leg a lot, so it wouldn't make sense that you would not need ACLs. He said you can get by without it. He's so good on top and so strong for his size that he could get away with it. And the only other guy is the guy with no legs

or the guy with one leg from Arizona State. That feels like that's an advantage. It's a big advantage. I mean, that's... That's how big of an advantage no legs would be. Yeah. Isn't there a guy that's got no legs? There's always a few no leg guys

that win a state title at 106. Because they have all that extra weight? They have the upper body of a 190-pounder. The only trade-off being? We need... Yeah. It's like we have to start maybe as a show. That's our platform we stand on.

You know how people get mad whenever a person transitioning, like a male goes and competes in female sports. Yeah. It's fucking bullshit that this no-leg guy is winning all these titles. That happened in track. People were saying that for Oscar Pistorius, right? That was the advantage.

Those blades. That ass. Well, that one makes a little sense, right? How do you get a takedown on this guy? Just go on the mat with him? Just lay on him? Yeah. It's hard.

It's hard to take him down. Yeah, because you can't shoot at his legs. Laugh it up, Nick. You legged bastard. You are too, dude. Look down. Oh, fuck. Spencer Lee's like the most mentally tough person ever.

Probably ever. Like something, just being around him, I felt like a pussy. What about Goggins? Yeah. Walter? Goggins? David Goggins? Oh.

Walton? Walton? God damn it. I screwed that up again. All right, let's talk punishments. Roan, what's on your mind? Yeah, where's your, Roan, how was your weekend? That is funny because I do want to do my punishment badly.

I don't want you to. I, if you don't. But I also, there's a backed up punishment that hasn't happened. I know, I need to go to Les Bernardin. We all need to go to Les Bernardin and we need to do it post haste. All of us? No, well, actually. Me, Nate, and Jay.

I'm done with you. No, Roan's not going to. Me, Nate, and Che. I'm going to go. No, Roan's not going to show up. So, Roan. I'm coming. No, you're not. It's going to be a four-person restaurant. You're not coming. I don't think you have to.

I want to go. I tried to subvert the karma of the wheel by putting something good on there, and it came back with a fucking tsunami of bad karma. I know exactly what's going to happen. We're going to set this lunch up. I'm going to show up. Che's going to have been there for an hour. Ready?

Nate's going to walk in, and then Fastuli's going to walk in in your place with the camera. Yep. I'm going to fucking jump. Is it a high building? Jump off the building. You're going to have to find a way.

I think it's the second floor, so you're going to have to get creative with how you jump to make sure you fit. Fuck. You have exposed brick in the basement if you want to just sprint. You're going to have to kind of dive. you're going to have to get creative with how you jump to make sure you fit. Fuck. You have to be on the basement if you want to just sprint. You're going to have to kind of dive. You're going to have to angle your body. But we need to do that.

And I don't, I mean, I'm not trying to hold anything hostage, but I feel like before I put nails on. Oh, I agree. So let's make a reservation. I was thinking we should do it during the yak and they could like FaceTime us in. Or we could figure out some way that the people in the studio could like check in every now and then. But I also want to be respectful of the space of LeBron Arden. It's fine dining.

You know what I mean? It's true. I'm trying to make an absolute mockery of fine dining. But I'm also so we have the Vegas fight this week. I have an important wedding next week. Okay. And the week after that, I guess I could get it off by, but no, it's a fucking rehearsal dinner. Here's what I'll do.

You said when we were the final two that I should just do it. No, no, no, no, no. If you take bald off your punishment, I would do that. I would do that. Oh, I want bald. I want bald. No. So excited. Bald ruined, kind of ruined my weekend. Yeah, it ruined mine too. I couldn't stop. I couldn't enjoy anything to the fullest. And you guys are

saying it wrong. It's actually shiny bald. I feel like you're saying it just like you shave your head like Sinead O'Connor. You go real razor over the stubble. Shiny bald. That would do such damage to my psyche. Mine too. Because looking hideous just brings you down so low.

The thing is, you're looking hideous at your most pure form. My boy Colin, who I was coming up with, he wanted to have someone do cat contact lenses too, so even if you couldn't pretend you had cancer. No one's going to have cancer if you have cat contact. I bet you that's

never had a crossover. It's the one out that you guarantee it's not cancer. Are we taking eyebrows off? Shiny bald would be funny as fuck. Shiny bald, no eyebrow. I think that's thrilling. I want to get it out of the way right now.

I want to just do it. I would do it. I wouldn't have much problem. Yeah, you did it when Dave put you in. Yeah, you're the least, you would handle it the best. You're the most susceptible. I wasn't shiny bald. I think I'd be okay because I would just get a really bad toupee. You just got a hat for a week and then you'll get to that one.

I've always wanted a really bad toupee. No, no, no. No wigs. No, I think if it's very bad, I think that's funny. Yeah, I think you could wear a wig. You could do whatever you want with your shiny bald. I have to get a mole removed on the top of my head, so it would be convenient.

Producer's room is more interesting to me. Like TJ, Zah. Zah wants it. He's rooting for it. They all have interesting heads of hair. Jay would be awesome. Haven't you seen me bald, Brandon? Have you started by then?

No. I used to shave my head in high school. Not shiny, but zero, like with a razor. I used to shave my head in college just out of cheapness, and then I did it once when I was in a real job, and I walked in, and everyone was like, whoa. And then I just had to deal with that for three months. My ears are too big.

I can't lose hair. Yeah, but the nails is going to be really bad. Oh, really bad. It's going to be significant. Oh, no. It's not even that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. At least you have a beard. No, but at least you have a beard. It's worse for us beardless fellows. Us face bald fellows. Because then you've got nothing. If you have a beard, at least you're rocking a little bit of Walter White style. You need to wear glasses. If you're face bald and you're going through this. Yep, you got nothing. If you have a beard, at least you're rocking a little bit of Walter White style. You need to wear glasses.

If you're face bald and you're going through this. Yep, you're right. Bald on the face and bald on the head. I mean, that's... You need to have some weight to your face. Yeah, beard helps. Oh, man. I didn't even think that was that bad.

I think that actually might look good. Can you put cat eyes on? That looked good. But I don't know if that's what you will look like. No, it won't. No, no, no, no. Yeah. I love it.

My head's shaped like a geodesic dome. I'm happy this shit isn't happening to me. My shit's fucking lumpy. You don't have to. You have a thick head of hair. If it lands on me, my punishment is going to be fucking horrible. You're older. Are we sure it will grow back?

That's what I said. It might not come back. Is that a thing that's happened? I think so. You guys aren't balding. I'm lucky that I got what I got. You can't tempt fate that late in life. You can't be like, I'm just going to go bald.

You used to buzz your shit, Brandon. I did. I buzzed it, but I didn't go bald. Shiny bald. Don't complain. Short is the worst. I have seven in bald. I want it done on the show, by the way.

It's in play anyway. I want the barber to come in and do it live on the show. Oh, that's... I think the worst part about it is when it... I mean, you guys have good hairlines, though, for the moment. Just give y'all $10,000 or something? Like, I don't... Yeah.

I guess I would take it. Worst part is when it starts rolling back and you can really see the hairline. And then it's like... Everyone's like, oh, damn, you were going bald to begin with. I actually might go... My hairline's deep. I might go shiny bald, and then when my hair starts to come back, just do a month as the Larry David bald. Yeah.

A horseshoe, Dr. Fillet. Damn. What would your respective partners think? It would suck for everyone. It grows back. It would hate it. It would hate it. It would hate it. I'm going to ask

my wife right now. It actually doesn't grow back that fast. What's our case? Dude, mine just got... It's been eight months since I shaved my head. People are hitting me up and they're like, damn dude, your hair grew back fast as fuck. I'm like, no, it's been almost a year. Rone, if it lands on me, can I keep rat tail? Because I've been growing it out for rat tail.

Shiny and rat tail. That's a power look. Well, the bottom of your neck is yours to play with. And that's with any, that's my playground. That's very nice. That's really any of your guys playground reverse Nike check.

What are we going to do with Kate though? She said, she, she said she wants to stay on this show so badly. She will do it. But are we, is that, um,

look at Jake. I mean, Jake's a good-looking dude. Yeah. So maybe it's not too bad. He's a bald guy. He looks like an enforcer. He's got a beard.

Yeah. None of us look like enforcers. I need to show that you have a beard. Shiny bald is really hard. I will spin the regular wheel anyway right now. You might as well. I hope it goes to shiny bald. Actually, I'm not that afraid anymore.

Fast promotion. Don't be afraid. I have you guys. Shiny bald. Actually, I'm not that afraid anymore. Don't be afraid. I have you guys. Shiny bald with beard is so much different than shiny bald no beard. This is only funny for an hour and a half. No, just every time I see this. No, to you guys. Months.

But the majority of our life is non-yak affiliated. Correct. You're right. Dude Perfect is taking furious notes right now. Oh, fuck doing it. There's not a whole lot of dry left on the wheel either. I brought extra clothes today. Just want to note.

Where's the fast? Oh, there it is. Thank God. Acrylic nails are staying on. When are you going to get them? Yeah, do you have any? So let's talk through that real quick. Because this weekend we have the Vegas fight in Vegas. And it's more that you have the upfronts.

And the upfronts on Wednesday. And then so the weekend after that is like a family wedding. It's like Thursday is a rehearsal dinner. Friday is the actual wedding. And then on Sunday, there's a gambling competition. So then I think Monday. Why don't we talk about that? That Monday.

But then on Friday, we have that pop punk festival. Why don't we talk about this? That would play. It's only Monday to Friday. Whatever the 12-hour stream is, why don't we talk about he has acrylic nails during the 12-hour stream? I mean, that would be funny. And, Roan, it's only's only Monday to Friday. Why not wait until he has acrylic nails during the 12-hour stream? I mean, that would be fun. And, Roan, it's only work. Monday to Friday.

I would love to get a beauty shop worker to come in. Yeah. Can I get a free finger to wipe my ass with? No. We actually showed you. There's one finger. Oh, you go toilet paper around the nails. It actually looks way better.

I feel like you would just have to go upper hand rub with the back of the... We watched a gay guy show us how to do it Friday. He goes around the nails, then you kind of scoop. I leave no fold on wiped when I wipe. I'm assiduous. No, you definitely get in between the spokes. I get in the crawl.

Your toes make it up there? It showers. Can I ask a question that I've been thinking about since the acrylic nails? How much do I have to pay you for a back scratch? Oh. That's nice. Yeah, you're going to make it.

This is a good side hustle. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to be doing $20 for a 30-second back scratch. Okay. $20 for 30 seconds. Put me down for 10 minutes. You actually have got it. I'm going to need to be stacking cash during this.

It's 400 bucks. That would be a great back. I'm taking my shirt off, though. And I'm going to fucking go to town. Son of a bitch. Get in, Nick. Get in 30 seconds. You just stole this from us.

I respect it. Weak thumbnail. I'm looking at the views. Yeah. Two days ago. Can I scratch someone's back real quick? Yes. I want to draw a word, and you have to guess.

Oh, yeah. Real quick. He's got the nerve endings for this. And KB bites his nail, so he's going to have to really get in there. Oh, he's going straight on the back. My God. Ow, ow, ow. Dude.

I can just read it. What are you doing? He's like breaking skin. N-I- No, KB, no. Don't, KB. Quit it, Kyle. I don't know what you did.

I know what the word is. I see the word on your face. I saw the word. It was the first letter. Boy or box? Box. Oh, box. Oh, the word on your board. I saw the word. It was the first one. It was a B. Boy or box? Box. Oh, box. Oh, DAZN.

Oh, yes, DAZN week. Oh, what a transition. Ronan and I are going to be in Vegas and TJ. It's fight season on DAZN. Pay-per-view is Canelo Alvarez puts his WBA, WBC, WBO, IBF, and rings super middleweight title on the line. This is the trilogy. So it's the third one.

The first two were awesome. These guys are both going to fucking throw hands. Canelo versus Triple G. Buy the fight exclusively on DAZN.com. I think this time you can just watch our stream if you just buy the fight. So it's not going to be a separate link. So you go to DAZN.com, DAZN.com. We will be there.

We're going Thursday. Yes, sir. Iviac on Friday from Vegas with me, Roan, I think Caleb, possibly Dave. Dual Presidente. Large, Robbie. Robbie's going to be out there. We're going to do a wheel out there. Yeah.

Because we're going to have TJ. So go buy the fight. Saturday night. It's going to be incredible. The fight will come on after most of the games are done. You tune in. The best. It's going to be so much fun.

Are you going to take this wheel as it's currently constituted or a different wheel? I think we're going to take it as it's currently constituted. Shiny Ball is going out there then. I hope Dave has a good job search. Well, no. You guys will spin for everyone on the show Not them Unless it's like wet

Shiny bald for Dave would be a Pricey shiny bald Oh I forgot it has to land on Shiny bald first And then it has to land on you in the eliminator Or not land on you It's gonna be you Yes dude I accepted that the second I found out And then it has to land on you in the eliminator. All right. Or not land on you. It's going to be you. Yes, dude.

I accepted that the second I found out. Damn. Worse, almost. I'd rather get it out of the way. Yeah, should we spin now? Yeah. Shiny bald? No.

No, no, no. It's going to be real reset. It would be shiny bald, though. I still fear 24-hour fast more than shiny bald. Shut up. You do? Shiny bald will have to happen on our 24-hour stream, but I'm going to have to be hammered drunk. Okay.

I did. Wait, 12, 12, 12. 12, 12, 12. Jeez. When is that? When are we doing that? We got to pick a Friday. We're all here.

I assume it's probably sometime mid-October. Given everyone's schedule. We'll pick a date. We'll pick a date. All right. Go ahead and spin it. Wake me up when September ends, brother. Summer

has come. Oh, we're back. KB's wild. Alright, Zah. So now we have to spin to see who's doing it. For who's wilded? Yeah, who's wilding Zah. Yes, this is awesome.

Fuck yeah. I'm willing to help. I know Nick's willing to help. Same. Yeah, KB's willing to help. Those have become the most fun shows that we do. So that's awesome. Yeah, this is exciting.

This is fucking awesome. Yes, and we will do that in the next couple weeks. So spin to see who has to do it to KB. This is important because it gives you the initials for thinking of the wheel landing spots. Yes. It's very important. Wait, now, a little clarification.

This is Zah doing it to somebody or somebody doing it to Zah? Always to Zah. He's the all-time quarterback. I got it. I thought it was we switched it up. No, it's who runs it. Remember, Nick ran the first one, I got it. Okay. Yes. Oh, I thought it was we switched it up. No. It's who runs it. Remember, Nick ran the first one. I ran the second one.

Do Zah. And now this will be the third one. We're getting him sent out of here in an ambulance this time. I'm rooting for Kate. Mine's just going to be all roller coaster themed. All VR. Yeah. It will be an epic.

I mean, that's just mean. Yeah, I think just whoever it lands on. Yeah, whoever it lands on. I accept. Oh, no. Oh, Owen. Wait, wait. Yeah.

Owen. Owen's wild. Owen's wild. Owen's wild. I like that. Wait a minute. OR is operating room. Oh, yeah.

You're losing a toe. A little medical. When is this? Tomorrow? No. You have time to plan it. Whenever you decide you want to do it, we will do it. We're getting backed up.

Yeah, no, we are backed up. I like this, though. This is exciting. This is an early 2024. I love KB's Wild. Q4 2024. I just got to sell it first. Yeah, yeah. That won't take forever. Front's wild. Yeah. Q4 2024. I just got to sell it first. Yeah, yeah.

Well, that won't take forever. Front's Wednesday. Pumped. That's just going to be sick. The whole squad going out? The whole squad's going out. The whole squad's going to the up fronts. Yeah.

Didn't make the graphic, but we'll be there. It's a buzz in the air. Do we have to wear, like, suits for that? Yes. You got to be shiny bald. And we have to be shiny bald? Like Howie Mandel. All right.

Do you think that the business would have been affected if you had done acrylic nails for that? I think so. Like something a little bit off is way more unsettling than if everything's off. Right. It's like one thing. You might as well match the outfit with the nails. Yeah. That's why if I go

if it's for the pop punk week I might just have to like make them black and just go goth or some shit like that or try to add an aesthetic to it

but just like if I'm in like a suit with long nails I'd lose all of the business that we've ever had. I think I have for I don't know.

Has anybody here ever goth? Ever had a goth face? Not remotely. No. I did it Halloween every year though just for the eyeliner. I anybody here ever goth? Ever had a goth phase? No. I did it Halloween every year, though, just for the eyeliner. I had a big mohawk in, like, eighth grade. Really? Yeah.

Paul? Yeah. Can we get a picture of that? Yeah. You shaved on the side? Yeah. Holy smokes. That's so badass.

Damn. You remember that time with the mohawks? When you had a mohawk? Yeah. No. I mean, his mullet's coming in nicely Oh hell yes Not at all

Yeah you didn't fuck with me back then I have a Tommy story With me Oh yeah Remember any of my styles I don't You wore a lot of Atlanta Hawks stuff Yeah I did

Yeah I like their logo What are you like Vic or Pac's son was selling them for a while Really? They do have a good logo Damn They only sold Oh no Oh What was that? Pac's son was selling them for a while Really? They do have a good logo Damn They only sold

Oh no Oh What was that? That was the Rowan wiping his ass with the Oh That's how you wipe I was telling you how you would have to do it

Like a boxing glove You'd have to wrap it Yeah What's your Tommy story? So we had a Tommy is missing scare A couple weeks ago When we were at the beach Thank God

A couple weeks ago? Yeah a couple weeks ago Last week so He still is missing I didn couple of weeks ago when we were at the beach. A couple of weeks ago? Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. Last week. He still is missing. I didn't tell you guys. I didn't think it was that funny at the time. But my wife didn't tell me this part of the story until like a couple of days ago. So my wife called me.

I was driving home from the city. It was like 730 at night. And it didn't last long because she told me during the drive and it got resolved during the drive. So I hadn't gotten home. Anyway, my wife had gone. They were at Bradley Beach, and she had gone out, and Tommy had separated. And Tommy had gone home looking for them,

and then they came home looking for Tommy, and Tommy had gone out. So Tommy was gone. He should have stayed home. Tommy was missing. And she called me and said, Tommy's gone, and I don't know where he is. And I said, well, call the cops immediately. Don't mess with it. Bank accounts accounts are empty don't play with it she calls she calls the police and the police do they send two people out they send one cop to

talk to her send one cop to sweep the beach and and the area where everything is and uh so the cop comes talks how did how did you describe him to the cop? I don't know. Armed? No. A 12-year-old blonde-headed kid named Thomas Walker. That's who they're looking for. I think she knew what he was wearing. And so the cop sweeps the beach, and the cop sees him immediately.

He sees him at the mini golf. Tommy's posted up at the mini golf, and he said he went there because he wanted to make money. He told me later he went there. He wanted to make to uh he tried to get people to pay him to hand him their clubs what are you what a bitch man he said he said he was trying to figure out money but anyway already so he was like fending for himself yeah yeah no he knew he was on his own this is the rest of my life i get a job i, I guess. This is like 12 minutes. Anyway. That's awesome. 12 minutes he resorted to trying to make a living to survive.

I'm a boy of the streets now. That was his first thought. I think he wanted to do that anyway. He's always fascinated with his own money. Any day, he wants to take the neighbor's trash out.

He wants to do this. He always wants to make his own money. That's like the backstory of every billionaire. That's Michael Rubin. He's like a Grant Cardone song. The cop sweeps the beach and the cop sees him immediately immediately the cop rolls down the window in an unmarked car and says uh are you thomas walker tommy leans down looks in there and says how the hell do you know that and turns and and they end up the the cop follows him

tommy won't get in the car with him. The cop follows him. Legend. Smart. Tommy runs home. Amanda hugs him. Well, there's my wife's name. Ah, Brandon. So the wife hugs him, and then there it is, and that was a mistake. But the other cop, the unmarked car, came up and told the other cop the story because Tommy just said, how the hell do you know that?

That's amazing. That's a good question. Yeah. Just imagining him, though, like being lost for five minutes and being like, fuck, I got to figure out some financial plan. Yeah. It gets up to me now. He's like asking what their like health care stuff. Yeah.

Would you have a 401k or something? We got to find a way to let him make money. Like we got to fuel his burning entrepreneurship. Oh, he wants to start his own. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. I don't know how to do it. I'd be willing to give him the slush fund

and see what he makes it. Yeah. We would have so many Robux at my house. Were people fucking with him at the course? Were they giving him caddy? I don't know. I didn't get that far. I was like, Tommy, what were you doing?

He said, I was just trying to make a little money. Yeah. What a fucking legend. Just a little money. What a fucking legend. Just a little bit. Just a little side hustle. I don't think he made any, but he's constantly trying to make money. He wants to walk people's dogs, shit like that. Yeah, no, he is going to be a billionaire.

Let's let him do it. You know what I mean? He's proven that he can make it home. I'll hire him as my assistant. To do what? Just hang out. Assist things, yeah. Just vibes. Carry stuff? Yeah. Just be my vibes guy. Pick up a bunch of sticks or rocks or something?

Probably pick winners better than me. I would love that. Game show, 10, 12-year-olds, send them off the first one to come back with $200 wins. Don't they do that in Japan? Really dark. In Japan? My God. it just went re-viral on netflix but it was a series in the 2010s of they would just send out like under six-year-old

kids to go grocery shopping it was yeah it's incredible yeah it's an addicting show the episodes are like 12 minutes it's fucking very easy to watch that's awesome the thing is me and me and my wife were totally traumatized by the 12-minute event of course it was never it's not even an event to Tommy. He's like, it didn't matter. No. He actually was probably pissed. He was like, I was about to fucking make it big, Dad.

I was chilling. Yeah. He was about to fucking crush it. He was like, yeah, he doesn't need you. No, I would agree with that. That's what that, yeah. Wholeheartedly. Damn.

I think he's earned it. I think he fended for himself well. I think he's earned a little bit of autonomy. You think he's the man of the house now? I mean, Tommy's cooler than all of us. I don't even know if YouTube channels it, because all the kids are going to want to do a YouTube channel, and he's proven he's willing to do the work that isn't YouTube.

He'll get rich off something. He'll find market inefficiencies that he can exploit. Unless his YouTube was money-making tips. Yes. From a 12 was money-making tips. Yes. From a 12-year-old. What if his YouTube was money-making tips mixed with him cutting random objects with his samurai sword? Yeah.

Here. Now we got something. I would watch that every day. Better samurai sword, but sure, I think we could. Sharpens. Yeah. Man. Pretty good.

Fuck. Tommy, what a man. When's his day going to be? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah Man Pretty good Fuck Tommy What a man Yeah he is a real man When's his day gonna be I don't know if we're I don't know Oh bar mitzvah's coming

I don't know if we're gonna do it again Bar mitzvah's coming We should give him a bar mitzvah We should do it all He should get a Bar mitzvah He should get a quinceanera Would that be alright

If we gave him a bar mitzvah He would be in the eyes of God What is I think it's just a big celebration where he gets like a lot of money. Make five figs. It becomes a mash

where you become a man. It's actually, he probably is already planning it because he's like, this is the best way to make money. Yeah, it's a nice

seed fund. A little dick, he started his whole career. I'll angel invest in Tommy. Yes, just buy his brain. Give him the Mark Cuban deal. Ooh.

I gave Tommy a million bucks for 10% of his brain? Yeah, dude. Is that being the smartest investment you ever made? I mean, yeah. He's a hustler. Let's do it. I'll put my cheesesteak.

Those look good. Those look good. You guys were eating them all weekend. They were good on Sunday. Michigan, the truck was there. Did you guys look at the freaking stream? We're really in everyone's face. Yeah, we were eating it on the stream on Sunday.

Two-faced Jake Marsh. Yeah, there he is. Billy could be anybody there. You get new lights in the studio. I swear, you and I are kind of the same color, but look. You're looking really white. Watch the camera. Here, let me fix it around with a little bit.

Color correct Nick for him? Yeah, this is just bad for my brand. Just give him the Trudeau. Well, yeah, I can fix it. There we go. Perfect. Thank you, TJ. Thank you, brother. Yeah, this is good.

Give me Nick in night vision. Oh, that's good. Nick at night. Yeah. I didn't know you had this kind of power. This is sick. I like this a lot. We get the advertisement for sleep when you're dead in the background.

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff I don't even know I could do back here. That doesn't make sense. Do it. Do it all. Press all the buttons. Can you do all of it at once? Yeah.

See what happens. Oh! It's the barstool thing. You deleted the show. Reset humanity. This is Okay. Deleted the show. Reset humanity. This is cool. Oh, this is like Skinamax. Oh, yeah, that's how you see it.

You guys should start fucking. People won't know. Wow. There's definitely someone who's got seizure disorder who's watching this right now, just at their desk, just frothing at the mouth. Yeah, sounds like a chat just hitting random. We killed a person. got seizure disorder who's watching this right now just at their desk just frothing at the mouth. Yeah,

somebody in chat just hitting random. We killed the person. We've been wanting to. Yeah, that's true. I think there's a setting where you can, like the old

Dockers commercials, you can like see through the clothes. Ooh. About to be. That was a fucked up Dockers commercial. What's in your pocket?

I forgot about Dockers. Oh yeah, what's up on the heat? Is that a Glock? It is a Glock. He's got a mouse. Oh, what's in your pocket? Oh yeah, what's up on the heat? Is that a Glock? He has a Glock. He's got a mouse. He's got a mouse from your house. He's carrying it around. Was there any mouse this weekend? Any mice?

Not really. Oh yeah, you beat him? I like how you're dealing with it, Sass. You're like, if I go away, then I'll come back and it'll be gone. They were actually good in Arizona. Yeah, because they were only personally attacking him. Yeah. I haven't seen any in a while.

They haven't been in my room in a bit. I got a whole setup now. They can't get in. Incredibly tiny, which I don't know if it's worse. That means that they're new. They're babies. Yeah.

It's fresh, yeah. So I think they're repopulated. Yeah. It was like, I would say, the size of a juicy fruit gum. Whoa. Wow. Oh, ew.

Those are the creepiest ones. They crawl on your bed? What's your setup, Sass? How are you keeping them away? I got a piece of wood that I put under my door. Yeah. So they can't get in. And then I have, then I just like put shoes and clothes and stuff on.

Every night? You're getting in with the corners and stuff. Every night. Oh, we tuck ourselves into our rooms every night. You can't get in? No, this wood like seals it off completely. It's the perfect fit. This is just for my room.

They're still out in the living room. What's the point of the shoes and stuff if the wood does it perfectly? Back up. Makes sense. And then I line it with traps. If they make it through all of that, they get killed. Be a good Roman general. You just gave them Nickelodeon guts.

They're having a blast. Have you guys thought about contacting your landlord? We did. They didn't do anything. An exterminator? They found a pile of dust, and they were like, guys, this is unacceptable. Why do you guys think you have mice? And they were pulling the oven back from the wall and there was like dust

back there and they sent a picture they're like were we supposed to be cleaning behind the dishwasher yeah it's like they look for we because they look for anything to blame it on us right not the fact that there's holes in the apartment but yeah it feels like it's gotten a little better i mean yeah not nothing's been as bad as that first night. Did you have fun in Arizona? Yeah, it was Phoenix. Phoenix was a blast. I mean, we weren't in Phoenix. We were in the desert.

Oh. The club was like super. I looked it up. It is Phoenix. It is? The address, but it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's not. It's a good urban sprawl. It's a nice sprawl.

It's way up there. Was it dry heat? Dry heat. It was good for my rash, though. The rash went away on my neck. Whoa. Yeah. Looking good.

Wow, you look great. Thank you. I thought you said it was going to overtake your body and last for six months or something. I mean, apparently the sun helps. Are you shooting guns? I shot guns, yeah. It was sick for the first time ever. You feel like a man?

How'd it feel? Yeah. I'm a natural. I'm a natural for sure never missed the target once what did like the first trigger pull feel like we shot a glock 19 first and that was eh it wasn't really that fun just because it's hard to aim those things are hard to aim and then we shot this thing called a scorpion which is like a short barrel rifle and it takes it's like a ninemm rifle as well.

And that, I mean, you just aim it where you want it to go and it hits that. It's impossible to miss where you want it to go. Like the pistol, it's like you're aiming it and then you shoot it and then it's like, oh, it didn't go where I wanted it because it's like you're just relying on your arms

for stability. But the rifle was like fucking... Badass. That was fun as fuck. Call of Duty 4. Yeah, no, it wasn't that, but it looked similar to that. So who would you recommend?

Actually, yeah, it might have been that, but it just had the stock extension. What? Would you recommend this gun? Oh, I would recommend it. Sure, got a promo code? Dude, it was wild, though. Like, we went in super nervous

because neither of us... I was with Connor connor mook this kid that he clips stuff for anus and boy dad does he work for us he does freelance for us but he's also followed him because i was like yeah he's a good yeah he's open i think he's a comedian as well and uh he he we were both like had never shot before and we went in and we like asked the person at the front desk like a question and she was like really like rude about it and we were like like we kind of felt we were just getting like thrown into the wolves like we had no idea we were doing but uh dude we were like it was our first time shooting and we could have shot anything like you guys want to go full auto

like what are you guys trying to shoot yeah and we were like what's like a good beginner gun and they are like an ar-15 is good. And we were like, what about a pistol? And they gave us the Glock. But yeah, dude, it was crazy. Some dude next to us was shooting a sawed-off AK-47, and it was so fucking loud. Like, even with the things on, like, the whole room would, like, shake. It was fun, though. Fun weekend.

What do, like, when you go to shoot guns, like, what's the, like, desired, like, like, feeling that you're getting coming out of there? Would you guess? Especially for that guy. Adrenaline? Is it adrenaline? Adrenaline, probably, yeah. Adrenaline, or is it getting better at your gun?

Is it like being a golf, like, a golf guy? Are you just trying to get better at your craft, kind of? I need more tangible goals. Like, I need, like, it to be it to be a simulated accuracy test or something. Yeah, beat your accuracy. Or is it Target? Yeah, I don't know. It was, yeah.

I mean, I don't know. I don't really know what it was. Was it Cathartic? Are you throwing that to me? Is that what's going on? Did you cry while you were doing it? No. Connor, he was a little bit shaken up, though.

What? I definitely had to lead the pack. I had to load the gun for him every single time. On all facets. On every single facet a man can have, he's a pussy. He is. Every single facet. Hunter is looking to sass.

He's like the courage. It made me feel like I was too good at it. Because he didn't know how to put the ammo in the gun he didn't know how to load the gun no you can't let this happen defend yourself but it was uh i don't know it was fun you were just what did you pass a gun range you're like we gotta go shoot or were you like oh dude there was like there was like 30 gun ranges within like five minutes of where we were staying. Everywhere. Damn.

Yeah. Super Bowl's out there this year. Oh, yeah. We'll go back. We'll go shooting again. Scottsdale Gun Club. We'll be back. Also, the first thing they asked was, are you guys trying to buy a gun? And it was like, dude, we have never shot a gun before.

I don't know. He was like, yeah. Time like the present. I want one free. Scorpion is a cool name for a gun before. I don't know. He's like, yeah. Yeah. Time like the present. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't get one free. Scorpion is a cool name for a gun. Very cool. It's a cool name for anything. Yes, it is.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It really is. We should change the name of the show. Scorpion. Scorpion. The Scorpion. Yeah.

I like that. That's so much merch. That would be the Scorpion. Why don't we just call her Not even Just Scorpion Yeah just Scorpion The actual animal

Is as cool as the name It's armored It has a stinger Yeah The shape The name Everything about it Is cool and evil

We'd be Scorpion For a little bit Scorpion Yak presented by Scorpion Scorpion Just Scorpion Scorpion We need the merch for sure

Like a T-shirt Black Very short sleeves Oh my god Yes Scorpion. Scorpion. We need the merch for sure. Like a t-shirt, black, very short sleeves. Oh my God. Scorpion. Short, short sleeves and just a scorpion on it. Damn.

Or a cool ass logo. Scorpion's deadly? Oh yeah. It can be. They can parallel. I love those videos where it's like they fight club bugs and they'll put like a scorpion against like a wasp or some shit. Centipede's always getting into the mix.

Yeah, centipede against a scorpion. They have that? Can we pull up some of these? Yeah, I want to see this. Dude, centipede versus toad was a good one. And then I saw 1v1v1v1. Referral. Four beasts.

No, a centipede can't beat a toad. It was a toad, a centipede, a tarantula, and it might have been a scorpion. What genius came up with this idea? I think the white scorpions are the most deadly ones, right? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Snakes. I know. I don't fuck with that at all.

I don't like snakes. Why? I hate them. Oh, no. I don't want to. Dude, this is crazy. I told you. I'm watching.

Fuck, no. Hell no. Oh, this. I don't want to watch this. Toad is just going. No, I don't. Dang. I is... I don't want to watch this. Hode is just going. No, I don't... Dang. I don't know if I want to watch this.

I don't know if I want to watch this. I don't want to watch this. I don't know if I want to watch this. It's like his boys, though. I like the frog, though. Oh, my God. What's going to happen? I'm very big...

I do want to watch it. I watch a lot of terrarium videos on YouTube, and so this is always popping up in my recommended. What's the chat saying? Is chat down or... I don't want to watch it. For some YouTube, and so this is always popping up in my recommended. What's the chat saying? Is chat down? I don't want to watch it. For some reason, I don't think it's real. Well, you just, the snakes are so ready.

It's so ready. Just get a fucking snap. Guys, what can the centipede do? Pass forward. What is the centipede up to? Jump ahead. Jump ahead a bunch. Yeah, jump ahead.

No, I don't want to play that. Not through it, just a big jump. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Who's? Ah! Ah! Ah! I don't want to play that. Not through it, just a big jump. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Who's? Ah! Ah! Ah! I don't want to watch.

I don't want to watch. I don't want to watch. I do. I kind of do. I kind of do. Oh, God. Oh, my God. They're kind of just boys.

Oh! Oh! Oh. What? This is so awesome. What is the end goal? I don't like it How is this allowed?

Whoa The frog The frog Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa

Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa. thing going to take place? Is he taking the toe down? Wait, what? It's a... What the fuck are the... What if they all band together and climb out? Oh!

Dude, fuck this. He's going. Scroll. Is the chat like it or no? Hopefully nothing's happened. Oh! Oh, no! Oh, fuck.

Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. Oh, fuck snakes. Snakes ruining it. This is so... I hate snakes. I was leaving. Oh, shit.

Respect the snake. Get out, yeah. That's a win in cage match rules. Yeah, that's true. All right, snake's out. Why wouldn't he have just dipped minutes ago? What is the frog's... I think the snake was chilling.

Is that guy biting the frog? No, I think they're just bickering. I think that's how goats like to stand on things. He's going to cross over water with us. This is a parable. This is just a parable. Oh, my God. I don't like this. Yeah, get out. Let's go to the end. Go to the end. This is a parable. This is just a parable. Oh my God. I don't like this.

Yeah, get out. Let's go to the end. Go to the end. They can be itched. Go to the end. Oh, the frog did it. The frog's biting him, beating him.

Oh, fuck yes, frog. I was rooting for frog. I was too. The frog was the only one I was going to be bummed if it died. Everything else can get fucked. You don't know, though.

You don't know. Oh, he just bit his head off. You don't know what's going on with the frog. Like, this could end the frog. Why did they get black and white? Who died? Wasted. Frogs.

Spider was kind of a bitch all the time. Oh, the frog took that whole thing down. Spider played how... Spider was a bitch. Steven Che played him. Shit's been in my algorithm for so long, and I haven't had the nerve. Oh, the tarantula saw the frog do its... Mountain.

Yeah, the frog wins. Frog's the winner. That was kind of cool. Dark night-ass terrain. I need something. How is this allowed? I don't know. It has 4.4 million views.

Yeah, it's like people, it really depends on what you feel empathy for as an animal. I went down a big rabbit hole of that. Oh, no. Africa versus cent an animal? I went down a big rabbit hole of that. How many of... Oh, God. Oh, no. African Cater? African Cater versus centipede? I hate this.

One verse 15? Oh, my God. Oh, crab versus scorpion. Oh. Oh. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. I want to watch crab versus...

Oh, no. I don't want to see the mouse one. That one's... How do you say it in Spanish? No mammals. No mammals. Wait, that scorpion's underwater. That's fucked.

Oh, the crab's got him. It's a desert-dwelling creature. He's just drowning. He's just torturing him. No, he's going for it. Oh, Jesus. This is awesome. Yes.

I like this. This is a good matchup. This is a great matchup. It looks delicious. I'm giving sumo. Whoever came up with this had to be so high. What's it doing? What the fuck? The crab's be so high That's a Pokemon

Yeah, what just come on it. What was that? It's surrounding it. Fuck that was it's dead That's paralyzed and the mr. Fuji poison spit. Is that my god that a specific frog bird crab breed is paralyzed Huh? It was blinded. What the fuck was that? There's no way the stinger can do anything to that crab. He's trying to get out. Of course it is.

This is horrible. I hate this. This is torture. I hate this. Oh, he's got the stinger in his hands. Yeah, this is literally just torture. Yeah.

All right. I need to know what the gas, what is the gas? I don't know how this is allowed. I think it was sand it was probably like spitting out. Sand? He's underwater.

Crabs are kind of bad guys. It's tough because steak's delicious. You playing dead? Is he going to do it again? I don't want to. I don't want to. We do eat some animals. I don't know how this is a lie.

As long as this... I like a porcupine fending off a cheetah. Go to minute eight. More fun. Just ten minutes. If you're watching this, you're fucking sick. I need them to sign a waiver. The entire thing just looks like them trying to get out.

They don't want to be fighting. Oh, the music helps. Yeah, but I don't think that was a part of the video. I think it's a TJ special. Part two? Part two is just an, oh. Is he face fucking him? I don't want to be doing this anymore.

This is fucked. Frog, though. Do we need a karma cleanse? Do we need to see something really nice? Yeah, we need something good. Like a puppy or... The porcupine cheetah is a good video. Get a cat out of a tree.

No, just kittens. I saw a video of these cows getting a scratcher installed on their farm so they could scratch their heads. It was super wholesome. Oh, yeah. I see those videos all the time. That shit's wholesome. I don't know if we need a wholesome cow.

I texted TJ. He played a wholesome one. Oh, fuck. You guys feel dark right now? I don't like seeing that. I feel so dark. You guys have an emptiness? I need a good story. I'm so dark You guys have like an emptiness?

I need like a good story I'm already getting tweets about my wife's name Shit Well don't mention it Come on guys Don't mention it again You're fucking cool for once You made it pretty far without doing it I know I know

That's pretty good Sorry Brandon That's alright It was worth the time She's not on anything. That story was good as hell. Let's play the palate cleanser. It was a good-ass story.

It would have made sense if you didn't say her name. No, no. The whole story would have been all over the place. I had to. I love you. I feel good for that guy. I feel so much better now. A young kid.

Maybe just again. Hey, if you get the bald wheel, you could have a good shot of remaking it. Oh my God. Oh yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. of remaking it. Oh my god. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yes. Yes. We have to get him

to box camp if he goes bald. Holy fuck. We could take Kate off the wheel if we add that if it lands on Che he has to go

in a wheelchair to the game. Oh yes. You get to do the coin flip. Yeah. I think we should take Kate off.

She said she was down. She needs something equally bad, though. That's more than enough for me. She needs to have a caveat. Yeah, you're right. Let's do an equivalent. No, Kate's saying... I know she would.

It's Midas. Yeah, she said she would do it. King Solomon. King Solomon was what I was looking for. Her newborn child looking at her balls. That could be in his brain. It would affect the trajectory of his life. Yeah.

He'd have a Mr. Clean fetish instead of his brain. It would affect the trajectory of his life. Yeah. See her. Yeah. Have a Mr. Clean fetish instead of a bed. It's complex. Yeah. Yeah. But what could her thing be? It has to be something.

She's proven tribute. What's bald equivalent? Frank Shuey? Or like a Thanksgiving meal out of Frank? Oh yeah. We got to play that. That actually made me smile.

Also Frank definitely was the one who left his grill on and burned all those cars letter frank we gotta play that cornrows that actually made me smile also frank definitely was the one who who left his grill on and burned all those cars all right do i not understand grills how did that happen probably put it under they probably slid it under their car okay then it blew up the gas all right that makes sense it's just a grill sitting by itself can be left you guys see this imagine Yeah. Imagine seeing this. Having the time of his life. He's getting to his seat. Show the cars.

They drove there. Yeah, they drove to Miami. So it was his car. I don't know if it was his car. I don't know if they rented a car, but they drove there, and then they're driving back. This would be so funny. Flying back. No one said why. We were joking about it on PMT.

If he just came out, he's like, another disaster. God, holy fuck. Imagine coming back to your car for that. And multiple cars, even like the fourth one down. And you left your kids in the car during the game. Yeah. They don't understand football. They won't remember.

I'm so content hungry, I pray for situations like that to happen to me. Yeah. Like, walk back to your car. I'm so content hungry I pray for situations like that to happen to me yeah just buy a car and just blow it up somebody's car got hit by like an asteroid a couple years ago and I was so jealous did they die? no no it was just parked outside

you can just buy a car and then just forget to set up auto payments too yeah whoa look at that dude who what idiot fucking like here's my hot grill i'm gonna throw it under this gas tank i i would probably do that we actually were close to a situation like that in dallas with the um it was like 105 degrees and the RV, right when we got the RV, it was like leaking gas, or like oil, and the fire department had to come, and they were like, you guys are morons.

This thing could blow up any minute now. You have to get into the shade and turn the generator off. We were just standing there. It would have been like 400 people that died. Oh my God. It would have been really bad. that died. Oh, my God. It would have been really bad. There's a huge tailgate right next to our RV.

I'm surprised more fire stuff doesn't happen. Yeah. In seventh grade, my buddies and I set a little fire to the woods, and it got too big to put out, so we just fled. Oh, Jesus. But we went to a Moe's in eyeshot of it, and we watched it get put out. Nice. By someone else? Yeah, firefighters. Oh, it was that bad of a, and we watched it get put out. Nice. By someone else?

Yeah, firefighters. Oh, it was that bad of a fire? You guys were arsonists. That's an arson. Yeah, what's the statute of limitations on that? Have you been into woods ever? Yeah. There's leaves and stuff.

Right, you can't just light it on fire. We didn't. It was an accident. It was a gender reveal. Did you call the firefighters? We went to a mose in eye shot and made sure the firefighters showed up. Right. So you were an arsonist.

Does arson apply to the natural thing? Yeah. So? Oh, definitely. Forest fires are always- You can't just light shit on fire. I think arson seems to be on purpose. Arson seems to be on purpose.

Delicious intent? You guys were. You were trying to start a fire. No, we were lighting other things. What were you lighting? What's the manslaughter of arson? You guys were accidental arsonists. Deliberately setting fire to property.

There's been people charged with accidentally starting forest fires, right? Yes. That's going to be a bad feeling Yeah It was Oh shit I forgot

We just smoked weed For like the first time ever So we were dealing with that too Oh wow It was a double whammy As they say That's terrible I was the most

You just gotta pretend Like you got no idea What's going on Moe's was good Salsa bar You just go for the queso Damn that has me craving Moe's badly Yeah I'd do some Moe's Although good. It's also bar. You just go for the queso. Man, that was the craving Moe's badly.

Yeah, I'd do some Moe's. Although I started working out. Again? What did you do? I did 30 push-ups this morning and about 20 minutes on the boxing bag. So, ask me anything. You probably didn't like any second of it. I hated it.

I was doing things that don't bother you. I like the boxing. I like the boxing. But I don't like the push-ups. And I set out for 50. I can only do 30. All at once? Yeah.

I hate push-ups. Stop doing them. Don't have to. The boxing bag is fun. Yeah, just do that then. That gets your heart rate up. You have that in your house? I do.

And a ping pong table. I have a room for my stuff now. That's awesome. NBA jam machine, a ping pong table. Yeah, how's the new cribbo? How's the new house? Oh, did you move in? I did. Twice for my stuff now. That's awesome. NBA jam machine, a ping pong table. Yeah, how's the new cribbo? How's the new house? It's about twice the size. Oh, did you move in?

I did. Twice the size of the old one? Yeah. How many square feet? How many do you have currently? Well, I'm renting this house in Jersey, and then I have a house in Mississippi. How many square feet is this house?

It's a new house. 3,000? I was going to say between 2,500 and 3,000 probably. Damn. So you've got a whole ping pong room. How's your video game set up? Well, I haven't set it up yet, but it's going to say between $2,500 and $3,000 probably. Damn. So you've got a whole ping pong room. How's your video game set up? I haven't set it up yet, but it's going to be good. Basically, I have the whole downstairs.

I have a house upstairs and a house downstairs. Damn. The downstairs has a kitchen, right? Yeah, a kitchen. A bridge downstairs? Study for Tommy. It has an apartment downstairs, yeah. Damn, yeah.

Grandmother's sweet. Study for Tommy or no? Tommy's going to figure out the house and how he wants it laid out. Nice. That's his house, not yours. If Tommy does do content on YouTube, he should do the videos where he blindfolds himself and takes apart a gun and puts it back together and shit like that. That's kind of his content wheelhouse.

He should actually start small controlled fires. Oh, he would love that. He's been a big fire guy for a long time. He doesn't have a gun does he? Does he have a gun? We should give him one. I used to This is going to sound fucked up. You got one. In college I used to late night

as like a joke I would put paper towels in like a big metal bowl and light it on fire and be like, whatever, it's small and controlled. Like in the house. No, it wasn't funny. No, it wasn't funny. It's a metal bowl. Yeah, my roommates would freak out every time, but I would laugh my ass off.

It's metal. I mean, did anything... Don't worry, it's controlled. Tell a story about college. You might have been just an asshole. I mean, yeah, that was a terrible thing. It was me and my... One of of my roommates the two of us would do it and yeah all my other roommates be like not cool and be like nah it kind of was so yeah that was stupid you had a little thought of that in a while didn't you just didn't you just find a house and oh yeah that was yeah when we were yeah we were we were too drunk. It was before Uber, I think, so we just broke into a house and slept in it.

You were cold. It was cold. Very cold. It was cold out. I have friends in college who, I guess they got a little inebriated, but they broke every piece of silverware in their apartment, or every piece of, like, every plate and bowl they had by throwing it into the ceiling.

They're just Greek. Yeah, yeah. It was a cause for celebration. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was a cause for celebration. But once one person does it, you might as well just break every single thing. That's awesome. I think they ran it back, too. I think they did it again.

Ran it back? I actually wasn't a terrible tenant. I lived in the same place for two full years. Literally the day before I moved out, I, behind the back, tried to pass a beer to one of my friends and it went straight through the window window yeah literally the day before i was gonna move out yeah we had like eight broken windows at one point and it was just all fucking trash bags over them like a penn state winter it was cold it was fun we got word that we weren't getting our security deposit back with time still left. Oh, big mistake.

The last time. Oh, Jesus Christ. So we cleaned up, and we just brought everything down to the basement and smashed everything we owned. That's awesome. It was fun. Yeah, I follow that account, College Cribs. I think I've sent it to you guys because there was that one that went in. They were watching the case race. They were watching the case race, but that just brings me back every time I pull up one of those being like, I can't just living in like an absolute shithole.

You can really only do it for that. Those like 18 to 22 year old years. Let's uh, can I see one of those college cribs? Yeah. You can milk it. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. Like this shit just Like nostalgia just

Washes over me Beer on wood smell And these guys are so happy Look at that Their life is so great Yeah Same floor A shitty place is like a badge of honor

Yeah You ever go to like someone's college house And it was sterile and clean That's They're losers They're losers Fleet losers Look at this place.

Damn, this is exactly. And I always think about, like, the other side of this is, like, girls will come back to this place. Yep. Yeah, fine. It'll be packed. My girl. Yeah.

My girl will go to your house. All right, that's disgusting. No, that's funny. It's unfinished. Again, it's only, like, if you're 25 in this, it's disgusting. that's funny It's unfinished Again it's only Like if you're 25 in this It's disgusting But like 22

Like them touring this Rules Oh this is perfect Yeah this rules Oh that's mold That's dangerous Yep Yep

Oh yeah a little ghost Cause one of them's gonna die And in their defense There's no like reason to clean No It would only stay clean from Tuesday to Wednesday. Oh, you see downstairs.

is just picking up the trash. It's not like cleaning, cleaning. It's just picking up empty beers. Yeah, like everyone picks up their shit like once a month. Yeah, like a shitty couch. We had the shittiest couches.

It was awesome. We made stadium seating in my apartment too. How many people live in this one? Built like a platform. It was awesome. We made stadium seating in my apartment too. How many people live in this one? Built like a platform. It was sick. Damn. Legends. These guys are fucking legends.

Bathroom's not bad. Definitely not as bad as I thought it would be. Damn. Oh. Okay, so that tub is going to fall through at any moment. Damn. Yeah. Some of these guys have girlfriends that stay over.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Bathe there. Oh, my God. Yikes. Random mattress. Aw. That's nice God. Yikes. Random mattress. Oh, what a... That's nice. That means there's no mice.

That's honestly genius. Yeah, it's embarrassing. We haven't seen a mouse yet in this, Seth. You need a cat. Just get a cat. You guys should get a cat. That's what I'm saying. I said yes.

Cats are the best. Sash, why no cat? I would get a cat. All right, let's look right now. Let's just get a cat for you guys. Can someone give these guys a cat? What color? Tabby?

A little tabby? Yeah, I like tabby. Do you do shit, though? You got to bring it to the vet and stuff? Name it a car? Nick Arfield? Rarely. I'm not trying to do that.

A conjoined one? Do you have to feed it? Now it sounds unappealing. We were saying that we should be able to just rent a cat for like 24 hours. And have them just clean up. Instead of an extermination. Yeah, clean up the mice. How about this one?

Two weeks with the cat would be... What the fuck? What is that? Frozen? What is this for? Oh, biology products? Oh. This is now just a very fucked up show.

Ew, fuck that. God damn it. This is some Scorpion shit. Ever since we changed our name to Scorpion, we've been dark as hell. Yeah, the eye is an upside down cross. That shit's sick. Oh, fuck. We're evil as hell.

Scorpion. Welcome back. It's the Scorpion. We're evil as hell. Scorpion. Welcome back. It's the Scorpion. We're bad people. Dude, just a show of bad people. I mean, oh, fuck. Damn it. That's literally us.

Yeah. What's the worst thing that we could do to each other? Shiny bald. That's the other thing about those kids in that apartment. If you're 21 years old, you probably are a dickhead and that's just to be expected by society.

Totally. You're an asshole because your brain hasn't formed yet. You don't have sympathy, empathy, none of that shit. I think we said 7th graders are the meanest. I think college kids are. They're very mean. And they're huge they're like the sense of humor is just making someone else's life miserable right right and then you like get a little older and you're like wow that was kind of when i started started fires randomly that was fucked up yeah but you know it was fun that's

why i like tommy getting out on his own as a 12-year-old is probably formative because a lot of college kids, 18, first time they're out in the world. If he's just left to fend for himself and make money at the golf course. You're saying just put him out there. 12, he's not going to have this phase where he doesn't take care of his shit and he's immature and an asshole. What kind of seed money should I give him, like $200? Maybe.

Maybe just set him off, give him his inheritance now like Joseph in the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Ooh. Set him out into the world and he can kind of

fend for himself. It should really make college for like, you shouldn't get to go to college when you're 18. It's such a ridiculous thing to be like, hey,

this terrible human being, let's set him out in the wild. You should get to go to college when you're like 40. Yeah. When you can really enjoy it. Yeah, enjoy it. Right. a ridiculous thing to be like hey this terrible human being let's set him out in the wild you should get to go to college when you're like 40 yeah when you can really enjoy enjoy it right yeah no no no no no but the things you did in college oh of course it would fucking kill us oh dude there i think about like killing going to a place like that i could spend maybe 20 minutes in it right now yeah i understand that but it sure would be fun those 20 minutes what if we just do hard labor

up until then until 40 and then you go to college you do hard labor you make your nest egg there's no student loans or anything you just pay for it cash and then once you've these are once you've hardened your body you're missing the the prime child rearing years you gotta you gotta make kids when you're i remember we used to go we used to go on, like, before the college football show, we did some college football show things and Hank and I would go out in the college towns and I was like

maybe 28 and I was like, I'm too old. Now I think I'm at the right age. You're age-bred. I'm ready to start breaking shit. I'm over to our apartment sometime. What if I just came for a weekend and just whole wave. I'm ready to start breaking shit. I'm over to our apartment sometime. What if I just came for a weekend and just was like,

I'm going to be my 21-year-old self here for the weekend? I think it's less weird for a 30-plus-year-old than a 26 to 29-year-old. Right. Because I have the confidence now of like, I know I'm washed. I also know how to not be a dick all the time sometimes you could chalk it to a midlife crisis right right whereas like 27 you're still trying to figure out like am i is this what i'm gonna be yeah you're right so yeah this is this goes more to my college would be sweet like if everyone was like 40 damn i'm to wait until

nobody I was at college with is there when I visit you give it four years because if they see you they're like is that it he's still here I'm trying to pretend I'm a completely different person what about Ruffin Rowdy in Providence

yeah I'll go that would be sick we're going to sell out the dunk you're doing the corner again for Ruffin Rowdy in Providence? Yeah, I'll go. Yeah, that would be sick. The house is going to be in the corner, he said. We're going to sell out the dunk. You're doing the corner again for Ruffin Rowdy? No, no, no, I retired. What about O'Malley? Oh, no, no, I'm definitely retired.

No, I think you need to tell her that, because I'm pretty sure she's operating under the guise of you being her corner man. I don't think she is. Do you know what's on the slate that weekend? You said you did a great Boston Down Syndrome accent. We're up in Rowdy in Providence and Army, Navy, and Philly the next day. Oh, really?

Dave was talking Patty the Batty fights in Vegas that night. Whoa. Oh, my God. It'd be the most insane 24 hours. Holy God. What a fucking psycho move Is he gonna do it? I don't know

Do Army Navy Would he go to the Army Navy game? Yes we have We have gone I'm saying would you go in the game Or would you just do the show And then get to Vegas I think the Vegas thing

Might be a little too much Vegas Get out to Vegas Vegas We're about to be in Vegas Vegas Coming weekend Circus Circus Yeah we're gonna go see Circus Circus Vegas Get out to Vegas Vegas We're about to be in Vegas Vegas Coming weekend Circus Circus

Yeah we're gonna go see Circus Circus And then Wait no That's the hotel name That's the hotel It's like the little trash you want We're gonna find a nice dinner

Thursday night Probably something A good buffet at Circus Circus You guys can talk all you want We're having boozy brunch True You guys are Upper West

Hosting Pick Central that day too So Three hour show Not after that Cowboys pick, you dumb bastard I know, right? How many units to fucking date are you down? I don't know what that even means Nobody does

I'm not I'm still up I didn't lose money But I'm also only putting like $10 on the games. Bet your limit. There's no unit shaming. Steven, we haven't heard from you today. How are you feeling?

Data ruined? With a tie, yes. Right out of the gate. You had all the other games? Not 100%, no. But Houston Texans tied for the lead in the AFC South. It's true. I think I'm going to be fucked.

I faded the wheel. Did? And won. Oh, you're going to be shiny bald. I bet the wheel. Yeah, I did too. Those are the wheel picks? Yeah.

So what we're doing is every Friday we're going to spin the wheel. I thought they were bad. Yeah. I thought that was bad. They literally went 0 for 3. Yeah. I'm going to put $1,000 on it, and if at the end of the year we win money, we'll put in the slush fund, and if we don't, I'll just eat it.

It's got to hit eventually. It has to. Can't lose what's close. So close. I asked my wife if I could do shiny bald, and I was counting on her to say no, and she says, I think you want me to say no, but the answer is yes. Oh, no. Also, I do do shiny bald. And I was counting on her to say no. And she says, I think you want me to say no, but the answer is yes. Oh, no.

Also, I doxed you. Doxed me? No, you have to tell her that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you get it, Brandon, and you're serious, I would take shiny bald for 10K. Whoa. You said that.

You said I'd give 10K to not do it. I would do it for 1,000 if you want. Wow. I would take the money. I'm cutting Steven out of more money. It's getting ridiculous. The money goes to me, and he just wouldn't do it. And then you could also do it.

Somebody has to be bald. That's what sucks. It's going to hit eventually, and one of us will be shiny. Yeah, no, it's not an if. It's a when. One of the members of the show will be shiny bald. I think we should make a rule that if it hits shiny bald, we don't spin the wheel to decide who gets it unless everyone's present.

Oh, we let it marinate? That's fair. Yeah. Because I don't, like if we hit it in like Vegas, we're not going to spin it. Yeah. I think everyone has to be here to see their death. And I think Kate's thing has to, whatever it is,

it has to be something that lasts at least a week. If not, I mean, maybe not as long as shiny bald will because it's going to be a while. But it should be something that persists or sucks or. Oh, I mean, she is a woman. Yeah, that's true. You're saying just being her. Yeah. Half as good as is a woman. Yeah, that's true. You're saying just being her? Yeah. Half as good as being a man.

What is the fraction? I don't know. Here's a mathematical. It's not. Yeah. You need a mathematician to figure out how low the percentage is. It's the lowest percentage ever. Percentage for sure.

I got a text from my neighbor. Oh, the percentages. The lowest percentage ever. Percentage, for sure. Goddamn. I got a text from my neighbor. Heard you talking about the fire we set back in the day. I would chill, though, so bad. There was a legit 60-foot-wide black ring when we left Bob. Oh! That was arson. I don't know.

Was he telling you, like, to chill for your, like, legal safety? Yeah, so maybe we made it up. Yeah, you did. I probably up. Yeah, you did. I probably did. Be a funny arrest. It would be hilarious if they were actively still looking for who set that fire. Yeah, they're putting my head in a cop car outside HQ this afternoon. How old were you when it happened?

You must have only been. Seventh grade, maybe. That's over ten years ago. I was doe-eyed, bushy-tailed, yeah. Because you were, you're like 13 in seventh grade. Yeah. 10 years. You're lit.

You could have murdered someone 10 years ago. It might have. Have any of you guys murdered anyone? That or felonies? Felony possession. I'd like you guys to all get a felony off your chest. Felony would be good on the wheel.

That's a good bald equivalent for Kate. Yeah, yeah. Felony something. good on the wheel. That's a good bald equivalent for Kate. Yeah, yeah, felony something. Or like, what if she has to carry a bow and arrow through like several airports or something? I bet she could pull it off. She could pull it off. Yeah, that's the problem. You flash that military ID,

and they're like, oh, thanks for your service, man. Here's your arrows. What's something bad that would persist? Maybe Sass babysits her kid for a week. That's going to be a felony. It sounds like worse for me than it does her. Yeah, I like that. They have tattoo shops that say they only last six to eight months,

but there's nightmare stories of it being permanent. Maybe a face tat. Face tat? Oh, my God. A face tat for Kate? It could be anything. Or we could all just text. That's fucking gruesome.

Face tat for Kate? Like I said, we could all just text. That's fucking... That would be dangerous. What if we bleed like three quarters of her blood with leeches? Uh-huh. Just bleed her down to like... That's good for you. Yeah.

Detox. Just a full detox of her blood. Just get her to death's door or something like that. Is there an episode of Degrassi? Or did I make that up? I never watched a single episode of Degrassi. Stand By Me? Yeah, it happened to stand by me.

A couple of those were bees. I was terrified of leeches. I was too. Quicksand because ofeches. I was too. Quicksand because of media. It's fiction. Great Outdoors had a leech scene. Penis leech, maybe?

A dick leech, yeah. It was a dick leech at Stand By Me. Oh, Kate should have to transition to become a part of the show. Yeah, I mean, see how bad you want it. Quicksand's like real, though. Oh, yeah. Does it swallow you whole? Yeah. You're thinking of a bog. I would like to see her. Quicksand's like real though. Oh yeah. Does it swallow you whole? Yeah. You're thinking of a

bog. I would like to see her in Quicksand. What was the horse's name in Never Ending Story? That shit fucked me up. There was an episode

where the horse died in Quicksand. What was the Nickelodeon or Disney show where they had to solve like detective cases? Or the Explorer.

That's not the one. What if we hunted her on a paintball course? What the fuck was that? I would love to hunt for her Man Not woman Although Kate was a marine Yeah

Probably would backfire Forgot that Forgot You forget that Kate is Significantly more badass Than any of us Trained to kill Yes

I know and then Oh my god What a show. Oh, my God. Fuck yes. Wow. The problem with Kate is she's experienced all different types of bad life already. Yeah.

That is the problem with her. What could we do? There's nothing we could do to her where she wouldn't just be like, all right. I feel like she's very resilient. She'll just fucking shrug it off. Probably make it fun even worse. She's required to do normal things. Can't apologize?

I don't know. Oh. That would kill her. No, she wouldn't be able to last an hour. She definitely wouldn't. She fires off apologies. She came up to me to show me the gay bee and she was like

sorry, sorry. I'm here to bother you. I just gotta show you a gay Kyle. By all means, don't apologize. Show me the gay Kyle. Maybe she goes and co-hosts the Kurt Minahan show for a week. I like her over there. I don't. Somebody said dye her hair instead of cut her hair.

Oh. Change her, Kate. She'd love that. She would embrace that. It's not equivalent. Tattoo is the closest thing we've got, but that's even more diabolical. That's very Scorpion. She has one, though.

No, face. Oh, yeah. She's got a tramp stamp. Like the trademark tattoo on her. Wait, what if we're going about this the wrong way? What if everything Kate does on the wheel, we just transfer it to Pat? Pat has to go shiny bald. Oh!

You cannot, yeah, he would look awesome Everybody would start shaving their heads But if Kate does the opposite in that she can't cut any hair for like a year. Legs Shave her head her kid's head. Yeah Bald kid. Hairy pits Hairy pits shave her kids head yeah bald kid hairy pits

hairy pits doesn't affect us doesn't affect us just grosses us out yeah that would affect me a lot oh someone I'm looking at the chat right now

said Karen cut that'd be funny they're calling it the Kate plus 8 oh yes that'd be awesome that's perfect that might be it she's from Philly, though.

Like, we get haircuts like that. That's just normal. Have you seen the John and Kate plus eight, that girl's haircut? It's a real blunt bob. Yeah. I'd say choppy. Very. It's a little choppy bob.

I think she has to get the Karen. With those chunky highlights. And John turned out to be a scumbag right oh he's a stud he's a dj now oh at like buffalo wild wings oh that's not so he's a stud so wait who was the scumbag wasn't i thought it was her i did too but like for birthing eight kind of a fucked up move he wasn't ready for that? Goddamn, that's so weird to be like, hey, we have eight kids, let's do a reality show about it. Well, they're still super young.

Yeah, this will really not affect... They already have to deal with the fact they're the family of ten, right? No, eight. It's eight, but they had four, and then four? Is that how it was? Two and six. Who came along? The Duggars? The Duggars.

They're fucked up. He's a bad guy. I think they breed them. How do you have six kids? Yeah, they show her belly. It's the cocktail mom, yeah. That coochie's looking like Sauron. I don't know the pain of bearing one child.

Why are you so... I'm just saying. Do you imagine how, like, when you realize that you're having six? Damn. Fuck. His sperm has to have, like, a six-pack. Or it's just, like, fertility. I feel like when you do fertility treatments, it, like... Oh, sometimes it can...

Boost up the numbies. But twins are also genetic. Oh, my God. God bless her soul. Yeah, my cousins who love them on the block, it's two sets of twins. Back to back twins. Really? Yeah.

Oh. No more. TJ. Go back to the scorpions. Go back to the toad. Go back to the toad. TJ, you're really fucking with us today. Yeah, he's twisted right now.

Scorpion, dude. Ever since we were scorpion, everything we've done has been super evil. I have a palate cleanser. Yeah, give us a palate cleanser. Isaiah Pacheco. That's nice. You don't like that? Rabies is my biggest fear in the world.

Worst way for a person to die. Rabies is? Yeah, I've read that. Your brain melts and you live in constant fear and they can't cure it. The second you have a symptom, you're fucked. That's rabies? Yeah. But we get rabies shots.

No, we don't. You have symptom, you're fucked. That's rabies? Yeah. But we get rabies shots. No, we don't. You have to know you get bit. Sometimes bats' mouths are too small, but you're fucked. Wait, we don't get rabies shots? Mm-mm. Only exterminators do. Why do these fat raccoons give him fucking... Why don't we get rabies shots?

I think it's pretty heavy upkeep. It's probably a session of eight or something. I don't know. Carrot sticks, maybe? Steven would be down. There should be a 4 to one shampoo like product. That's just every vaccine. Yeah.

Were you here when we found out that the year Stephen just got the extra vax? Yeah. The most vax man in America or whatever. Psycho. What if we made Kate vote the other side of the aisle for her next election? Oh, yeah.

Publicly. I feel like she would really that would bother her. Whatever the other side is, I don't know where she leans. He could run for public office. Yeah, what if he made her run? That was a punishment we were debating. Nick's going to run against the mayor of...

Pennsylvania. So that's where my permanent residence is. The mayor's 19. Cat's my super pack I'm gonna fucking Fund the shit out of this I will 19 If I can raise $10,000

That's more than they probably get for Yeah So If you just make enough lawn signs In terms of Like if If we're talking about The Bethlehem mayor race

I am one of the Koch brothers Yeah Like Comparatively Yeah No debt Unlimited money, comparatively. Truly, truly unlimited.

Yes. Are you worried about having an Italian last name in a small rural West Virginia town? Italian part of town. Yes. What's the mayor's last name? He is Italian, too, we should say. Like, he's not just Italian last name. Oh, that's...

Oh, let's... Are you worried about the fact that you have Italian last name. Cut back to me. Look how pasty I am. Zoom in on my blue eyes. It's a different part of Italy. Yeah. The Irish part of Italy.

There he is. Nicholas Torrani. Got his ass. Zoomed in on his ass. Nick, you're cute without glasses. That's good enough. Oh, yeah. There we go.

How could I be Italian? Look at me. The forgotten son. I did forget about it. Shady Rays, baby. Shady Rays. Shady Rays. We talk about Shady Rays one freaking time.

I don't think we have to. As much as we want to. I don't have it on here. I do love Shady Rays. Is there a Shady Rays out today or no? Or are we just talking DAZN again? Up there it is. Shady Rays.

Get 50% off two plus pairs of adult non-prescription sunglasses at ShadyRays.com with code YAK. Simple as that. This should be Scorpion. Scorpion. Use code Scorpion. Or code YAK. Or code Scorpion. Scorpion.

It's not Scorpions. It's not a Scorpion. Scorpion. Scorpion. We're all bad people. TJ just searches the worst things on. Tomorrow's going to be bad. Yeah, that's definitely the subtext.

Scorpion, we're all bad people. Put a wheel slice where we have to change our handles to Scorpion. Scorpion Nick. Scorpion KB. Scorpion KB. Give us another palate cleanser we need something else the cows

the cows scratching their faces is fucking yeah they get that brush oh the highland cows or I don't know fuzzy ones

I'm not sure maybe they look pretty fuzzy or whenever a horse gets their hoof cleaned off have you ever seen those videos the relief they get there's like a pussy pocket their hooves cleaned off. Have you ever seen those videos? The relief they get.

There's like a pussy pocket. Oh, this is great. Look at that guy. That's got to feel so good. Oh, damn. He's really lame, man. That's a weird looking cow, isn't it? What I found was when they first, yeah, he's yellow as hell. The boy's ODing on cornstarch.

How do they know what to do? They're smart. Or they're curious, too. They're very friendly animals, depending on how they've been raised. Nature versus nature. They are. I've done deep dives into them. Yeah, but you've got a lot of misses.

Look at my Instagram. You said they have holes for corn in the side of their stomach. Oh, so it's not for the corn, but they actually do have holes in them, and it's so they can run, like, tests on, like,

their digestive system and stuff, I think. Quote me on that. Big beef is about to be on your ass. It's been on my ass. I'm at war with big beef. That's why I'm surprised you

Every ag school, like, Mississippi State used to have a cow with a hole in it, and people would come look. Yeah, right? Yeah. I knew the holes weren't fake. Holes?

Oh, this. Let's keep playing. They don't even know he's good, is he? They might want to kill him, too. There's better videos of this. This guy seems like he's trying to recreate the original one. And I just now realized that's why they're Aggies. Yep.

Damn. Look at, they're going nuts. Oh. Is it because it kind of sounds like a moo? You can moo at cows and I am. This song makes me nauseous. Akilah? Yeah, yeah. I think it's because of the sandlot scene.

Look at that one, the one where the guy's sitting. That one's the best. That's a trombone. That's not a saxophone. You see them. They're coming over the horizon. None of them are good. I think I would run towards that sound, too.

Here they come. Go to the end. Are they all just hanging out? It's probably Pavlov, though. He probably does this every day and feeds them. Yeah. Move them back. Oh, not like that.

This is awesome. They're singing M.I.A. Oh. Oh, it is Royals. Oh, Lord, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah. 23 million views. That's all you needed to do?

You needed to get people to throw cans at you? Musical instrument in a field of cows. Damn. Delicious looking. I'd show it with some drums and they'd trample me to death. They hate drums. We'd show it here on Scorpion. Scorpion's just a new live leak.

It sounds like it. Accordion? He must suck if they're playing this music over it. Yeah. Or he's so good it's going to be picked up by Trademark. Shazam it. Wait, so is that a... It'd be fun if we started playing these and then cows started walking.

Oh, I like when they install the cow brush. Yeah. Frank's just outside the... Oh, come on. I was thinking that joke, but I didn't. I was going to say it's very similar to when Roan just holds a bottle of soda in the camera. Walks up to the glass. Frank just bosses you around when you come out.

He's just like, soda review? Just shaking at me. I know these are cows, but I wouldn't hate it if we had one of these things to scratch ourselves with. I agree. It would feel good. Like the shoe cleaners? You got hands and thumbs? One of those for your ass while you're acryliced up.

Yeah. That would be nice. That would be incredible. Should we put that on the wheel? Someone has to wipe Roan's ass? Yeah, probably. I could probably just get like a nurse. Like an old person. Even 10k?

Wipe his ass for a week? How much? To wipe Roan's ass? 11k. Cash. You can pick his diet. Should be low. Cash. It's also the worst ass I've ever done. 11K. Cash. You can pick his diet. Cash. Should be low. Cash. He's also the worst ass writer in the office. That's true.

He is. Early wipe his own ass. All right, stand up. Stand up. Let me wipe your ass. Clean shot. Just work week? Yeah.

15K. Wow. You got to meet me at home every morning because I'm very regular. Like every morning. You also should say how much for rome too because that's horrific to get his ass wiped by you you gotta pay him yeah yeah i'd need i'd need the 15 i probably need 20 from you i'll not be going that negative on this steven chase ste Steven pays to wipe your ass.

Do you think it would be a pleasant change of pace for a nurse who has to do this all the time with an older person? If you guys ever become debilitated to the point where you need your ass wiped, I won't do that. Incontinent. But there's also a massive, there's probably a million nurses that do that every single day. I feel like old ass cheeks are like easier to get to the source though. Yeah, they're malleable. Pull them apart with clothes. I think, yeah, you could just probably just pinch one and...

Stretch. How hairy is the butthole we're talking about? It's like you're reading a newspaper. Morning news. Ooh, that's... big day in the world. Just fold it over. Two pages. Ooh, don't ask.

And it stays open. Link your hands first. You don't even need to pin it down. Link your hands first. Yeah, just flip over and yeah read an old ass do that again and you're ready to go hmm which one of you will rise and wipe my ass as tribute And you're ready to go. Hmm.

Which one of you will rise and wipe my ass as tribute when I'm debilitated with my... I'd wipe your ass to keep from going shiny bald. Really? Yeah, me too. That's how much you don't want it? For a week? Jersey. So Jerry's got a... What's your final decision?erry's got for real quick jerry's got a one

thousand dollar bet to win fourteen thousand all he needs is seahawks to win or no the broncos to win and he also has to pay for an eight thousand dollar birthday party for his son yeah i have to go home so what are you gonna do uh what are the options he wants me to do a little edge oh so yeah so i have to go home um and i have to just think about it and then i have to let it ride i don't know it's tough say let it ride the seahawks lose hope and home openers all the time don't they seattle hasn't lost a home opener since 1999. Okay. Yeah. But that, I mean.

Dog doesn't cover Thursday night football. Dog doesn't cover Sunday night football. Dog covers Monday night football. It doesn't depend on the last spin, though. Every spin's its own spin. We're not worried about the dog covering. The dog has to win the game. But it's for the bet. So wait, what do you want it to be?

Hedge, no hedge, cash out? Hedge, no hedge, cash out middle. Okay. So four slices. Whatever it lands on? I don't know. I'm going for a middle seed. Yeah, eliminator.

Cash out middle is what I'm proposing. That's what I would do too. What's cash out choice right now? Get greedy. $10,700, I think, or $10,300. I think you've got to do Occam's Razor. The simplest solution is the solution. And I think that just means keep it going, dude.

You've been right about everything else. It's only $1,000 to put. You have to think of worst-case scenario. I would take that money. $1,000 you could get. I would take that. $15 if he wins, and they're probably going to win. But they're a good chance

to win the game. What if he bets the Seahawks plus seven and he wins both? That's what I'm talking about. Are we going to eliminate these or just whatever it lands? Whatever you want.

What's the right thing to do? Eliminate them. Okay, so one left. Yeah. I like the colors on this one. It looks great. It's very primary. It's a beach ball.

Oh, no. No hedge, no hedge, no hedge. Middle's out. Middle is my choice. I think you want a middle. And you don't want to cash out. I can see that in your eyes. What is middle?

If he bets the Seahawks plus seven, so if they lose by less than seven, he would win the Broncos money line and the Seahawks. I like that. So he could win both. He can't lose both. He could win both. There's so many question marks going into this game.

Go ahead. Fuck. It's a classic conundrum. Whichever one it lands on is the one... The other one's the one you're going to get. You can also just leave, too, and you don't have to finish the wheel. Hey, you could not know. I could watch the episode.

I'm saying we don't even have to spin this last one. We should spin it. Oh, God. No hedge. No hedge, baby. There you go. No hedge. Let it go.

No hedge. Let it ride. Let it ride. I'm not hedging. Let's go, Jerry. Jerry. Let's go, Jerry. Fuck yes. Holy shit.

Seahawks are going to win by a million. Oh, yeah. We should all take Seahawks money. Give it enough that we can just give Jerry the money. Yeah. That'd be nice. Not on Scorpion. Not on Scorpion.

Scorpion doesn't play like that. No, Scorpion would win the money, and then we'll just double the amount that he's paying all the vendors for his son's birthday and steal them. Yeah, we'll double book him. Yeah. Or donate to his least favorite charity.

Yeah, he would hate that. Damn, we're evil. Scorpion. I gotta go do the rundown. I do too. Oh, fuck, I do too. All right. I gotta go do the rundown. I do too. Oh, fuck. I do too. Alright.

Alright. Alright. Alright. See everyone tomorrow. Scorpion. Scorpion. Scorpion. Outro Music Later, Scorpionheads.