The Yak - The Start of Yak Madness is Officially Here | The Yak 3-26-24

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Fasoli: BandYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. It's the Yak. Promo code Yak. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase.

Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Go right now to Roback.com. Promo code Yak for 20% off. I just pulled up the link to tweet it and I saw someone just say hammering the over three and a half hats. So I took my hat off. Oh wow.

You lost. Got your ass. That was my Jonte Porter. Oh yeah. I just fucking rigged that shit i'm definitely gonna put my hat back on so we'll hit later what's up guys hello hello thank you for uh putting fasoli in his place man all right so we got to talk about that real quick fasoli fasoli i've been saying it fasoli not a ball knower just doing his job but there's like levels to it

too so people missed it tj if you pull it up for solely last night um the patriots have the third pick in the draft this is also a sign like hank struggles with this as well patriots fans have not been used to how the draft works so they don't understand what it means to have like a high draft pick and what the value is and everything like hank thought uh that we were going to trade like he was going to trade the third pick but get to keep it like he's like we'll just move up to one and also get to keep the third pick like that's not how it works but yeah fasoli uh not an nfl g GM last night. There was an offer, trade proposal, Patriots received QB Justin Herbert,

very good quarterback. Some say the best. Fifth overall pick in 2024, which is the Chargers pick. 2025 first round pick, and the Patriots had given them the third overall pick and Juju Smith-Schuster, which is... This is obviously a joke. It's a joke. I would offer that in Madden. Or it's like fan fiction, like wouldn't this be cool if this happened?

And Fasoli said, I actually don't hate this. Come on, Fasoli. He actually doesn't hate what would be one of the greatest trades ever pulled off. The biggest swindle ever. Are you guys misreading it? He says he doesn't hate it. I don't know if he put himself on a 24-hour Twitter band.

Band. A band. A Twitter band. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Twitter band. The other part that I love, if you can go back, he replied to someone else.

But he didn't quite get the... Yeah, because he said, I got got. I don't... Wait, keep going down. Terrible quote. Terrible quote. I don't. Wait, keep going down. Terrible quote. Terrible quote. I like Herbert. What can I say?

So I think he thought that. No, no, but go down a little bit more. He said, are you going to have to check? Or maybe just find his replies. Because he's like, yeah, hand up. I got got. But that's not what getting got is. Because getting got would be if it were trade announced.

And he was like, this is awesome awesome i actually don't hate this he got got by his own brain every everything gets him got yeah he didn't get tricked yeah i got i know i got got terrible tweet by me no he didn't he didn't get got getting Getting got would be like, this is a fact. This trade happened, and then he believed it. What did he get? He got double got. He got fucking got by Taco Bell after ordering 10 items and having to pay $72. Only 10 items.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Pulled that. That was when he just admitted that out loud. An absurd amount of money to have to pay for it. He's so fucked. For 10 items. 10 items.

$7 an item? Uber Eats is getting out of hand. I just ordered Taco Bell, and I'm not even joking. I just got charged after delivery fees and tips. $72 for 10 items. 10 items. I think he spelled out his items. I love that there's no period before the Uber Eats. He's just

tweeting at Uber Eats. He's not even trying to announce this to the world. No. Throw his girl under the bus too. Not much for me and my girls. We can let him size his order. We can put him back. Yeah, like he's actually, he's kind of drill.

He's like doing drill tools. Two Crunchwrap Supremes, two Dolitos, one burrito, one Crispinata, two mini bags of nacho chips, two bean burrito things. They always include in the combo. Sorry, and a large Baja Blast. I guess it was the Baja Blast that cost $20. Notice the dollar sign. LMAO.

The dollar sign. That's just great. What does he want Does he think Uber Eats Scammed him Yeah I think so Like he basically was like I went to this steakhouse and got

A 32 ounce prime ribeye And it cost me $150 What is this bullshit 10 items I only got 10 items And there are many bags of chips. The Baja Blast must have been 20. That had to have been it.

He's the best. He's doing his job. I love seeing Patriots fans go from rich to now poor, and they're like, what is this world we're in? Understanding the draft, how it works, is just very foreign. Even Dave, he was going to take a second for field. Yeah, no, I know. I fleeced him.

Yeah. I fleeced him. He just does. They think they're just like, oh, yeah, this is how we'll do it. Trade a second. Yeah, Fasoli. God damn it. I actually don't hate getting Justin Herbert for Juju, and we get a pick.

In the future. In the future. In the next year's pick. I don't hate that. He got caught. His brain got him. Did you guys bring name wheels today? Somewhat.

Yes. Oh, no. I'm looking at KB. I'm looking at Titus, and I think it's a no. We can come up with something. I did find the big balloons. I bought like eight of them. You got those? Where'd you find them?

Amazon has everything. Of course. My name wheel for a long time was just somebody rebound for me. Now we have the guns. So that kind of, if it ever landed on me, I was just going to be like, Brandon, go. The machines have taken the job again. They've taken the name wheel from me. So I don't really know.

Which would have been terrible content, I would have I would have enjoyed it thoroughly to just sit there and put up shots now I can do it anytime alright so does anyone have a name wheel I have a few extra

I'm making a game called Path of Destiny oh and if you land on mine you have to waltz the path of destiny oh I like that we should probably

spin our wheel right now just to get it out of the way because it's gonna be a problem it's gonna be wet it just needs to be a problem. It's going to be wet. It just needs to be a wheel reset so bad. So, so bad.

This has been the longest we've been stuck on this. We've been on this for like a week and a half. I don't think it's going to be good. Oh! Yes! Yes! We did it! We have to spin again. Finally!

Finally! Reset. Res have to spin again. Finally. Finally. Set. Reset. Reset. Finally. Mouse drop? Yeah.

Towel whip? Sure. Load that bad boy up. We can actually spin for real at the end. We'll just save it for the end. It's back. That feels great. Yeah. It was kind of hanging over my

head it yeah it was a storm cloud yeah this one back on buy a gun yeah no we already we already got one yeah well it's already well we have that one and you bought you bought your ray gun i did yeah maybe mine will be ethnic day we haven't done that in a while. Brandon has accent random. Random accent. Random accent ethnic day? Yeah. So what would that entail? You dress up.

Okay. Present. Okay. Provide food. Okay. I love those. Like our World Cup day. I thought that was fun.

Not the same, but similar. Got it. We did that for Olympics So it would be one person has to do that? Everyone Everyone has to have a country I like that, ethnic day That will get us cancelled

But that's fine Do we have to dress? Or do we randomize the countries? We'll Music You gotta perform a song Or we randomize the countries. Wheel. Music. You gotta perform a song. Okay, yeah.

I put that on the name. You can't get cancelled if you're doing it out of respect for the culture. What's yours, Nick? Mine's Waltzing the Path of Destiny. It's a poster board and everybody you choose the route you want to go down and you guys will race down to the bottom of this. But there will be tasks and you peel things off.

Nice. It's going to be fun. And we're going to get wasted. Oh. Maybe. What are your guys, Kate and Mook? I found this. There's a genre on social media that's blowing up right now, at least in my lady's world.

Have you seen the colorists where they tell you what season you are no they hold a so you might be wearing the wrong color the colorist you're either a warm or cool you're a winter spring or summer or fall and you might be wearing fall clothes when you're really a spring and it turns out you've been making yourself look bad when you could look the best the colorists come in and there's one here in chicago i'm talking to and they hold up a bunch of colors in front of you, and everybody, the chat and all of us, we will figure out what season you are so you know the best colors. To wear. What to wear.

And so I want to have a colorist come in for whoever it lands on on the wheel, and we'll figure out what your colors are finally. This is going to be a problem for me if I have to wear bright colored clothes. Light colors, I can't do it. So they give you a certain style to wear based on your appearance, your personality, or what? They basically tell you what colors to avoid from here on out. Oh, like what colors you look bad in? It turns out you've been wearing warm fall when you're really a cool spring.

Does it have anything to do with the time of year? No, no, no, no. It's for the rest of your life. These are the colors. In terms of like, I think we are in the age of grifts. Oh, where would I? Oh yeah. This might be the greatest grift I've ever heard. It's very like Mary Kay but they come in and they hold

up all the, but really it's a huge, like all these videos are going far right now and you can see the difference when they put the right color tones i'm telling you this is the grift a girl goes from an eight to a ten no because you just say it you're like oh you look great yeah i'm telling you is it really unique to you if you're giving up your own personal freedom of expression whoa oh just listening to a random woman tell you what to wear based on her opinions. But being a little bit hotter, isn't that the goal?

You know? Yeah. At the end of the day. Incredible grift. Yeah. Just saying, yeah, I'm not buying it. I don't know. I don't look good in yellow.

But this is the thing. Everybody says that in the beginning. And then by the end, they're like, I was wrong. This person was right. They nailed my colors, and now blah, blah, blah. I've been wearing wrong ones. Because you have someone standing there being like, you look hot. I'm telling you.

Some of these examples, by the end, you're like, they were totally right. Yeah, because if someone's like, hey, you look good in that, I immediately start to think that I look good. Yeah. It takes one. Probably because when they say it, you're probably wearing the right colors for you, and you've been wearing some of the wrong ones. I i love a good grift did you i gotta i gotta see i gotta see yeah yeah the best colors okay um i don't know what exactly you would google but

there's certain super viral ones where it's like ladies who do like mary kay type stuff and they have their clients come in and sit in the chair in front of the ring light and this would be very fun like this would be a very fun exercise I think if we hit this we all should have to do it I'm curious to know what your guys seasons are I would like to know too now yeah god damn it I know but anyway that's one of mine I have to look at my list that I sent TJ but I have a couple of things oh the hula hoop rock paper scissors that viral video where the elementary school kids you you know what I'm talking about? No. We'd be split into two teams.

I guess the wheel would pick the teams. And there's a little zigzag pathway of hula hoops that would be on the floor. Oh, I love that game. Our team's trying to get to the other side. And it's rock, paper, scissors determined. And then you go, if you get eliminated, you get out of the hula hoop and go back in line. Yeah.

You're trying to get your team. This is a very fun game. Yeah. Oh're trying to get your team. I like that a lot. This is a very fun game. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, she's crushing. I want to play that now. I know.

Yeah. I've been wanting to play this forever. And then I think I had two more things on there. I don't have my, oh, I do have my phone on me. I remember when I played this game it was wild with my class. That was the first comment. How wild could that get?

I think it's probably like a third grade teacher. Yeah. Oh, fuck crazy. It's got wild? Yeah, yeah. What the fuck went down? Yeah, like you're playing

rock paper scissors. There's like two elements to this game. They start stripping and shit. I would love to go in wild. The kids start taking their shirts game. They start stripping and shit. The kids start taking their shirts off. They start actually throwing rocks at each

other. That would be wild. If they were just following the rules, that wouldn't be wild. Maybe that's what we should do. We should be rock, paper, scissors shooting real life. Wild edition. We could add to it. One kid dump sack. That kid's doing cocaine. That little kid. We could make it fancy. One kid dump sack. That kid's doing cocaine.

That little kid. Ben Mint shot me. I feel all alone over here. You seem all alone. Get in here. Yeah, it hurts. Actually, I have someone that can come in real quick because I have a question for him

because it just sparked my mind when we were talking about grifts. Let me see if he's here. I don't know if this one's okay, but the wheel will spin and it will pick the right amount of people, but you have to reenact that Kristen Cavallari, Montana Boys TikTok,

but with Caitlin Walker. Yeah. As Kristen Cavallari. Very good. That's the reveal. And then finally, Goofy phone case exchange. Oh, yeah.

I've been seeing those. This is a thing? It's a thing. Rudy's phone case is like a full-size fish. So we each have to bring in a super goofy phone case that we do in exchange, and you have to use it the whole rest of the week. I was also thinking, we went to Chinatown a couple days ago. $100 Chinatown spree.

You have to leave the show right now, go to chinatown spend a hundred love that oh and whoever comes back they have mystery boxes yeah we got a bunch of mystery bought a bunch of mystery boxes and they're in them all up they're in the packaging of something that's misplaced so you don't it's wrapped in mystery wrapping then you get a package and it's mystery package i thought he got a whim chime he opened up it was a silk bag yeah it's a mystery package. Kyle thought he got a Wim Chime. He opened up. It was a silk bag. Yeah. Wow. Nice.

It's double mystery. That's exciting. Speaking of phone cases. Haven't used one since 14. I've never used one. Really? Yeah. That was one of my- Much better feel.

Here he is. We'll pin the- Well, actually, no. You're here for this. Yeah. That was one of my very first blogs was the thrill of not having Show me, you don't have one?

Never, dude. Never. Yeah, ever. Mine's like rotting though. Mine's eroding. Oh, you kind of have a phone case.

Oh, it's my wallet. Yeah, it's a little protection. Wait a minute. You don't have one either? No phone case. What were you using

as your wallet Monday? Or in town? My glasses case. He popped out his glasses case and it had one zin in it, cash. That's a very like 85-year-old man.

It reeked a pot. Well, there was cannabis in there. I thought it was like leftover. Yeah, it's a big wallet. No, I've been no phone case for life, and people will now accuse me like, oh, well, you have money, so you don't care. But if you look at the blog, I wrote it when I didn't,

and I was firmly no phone case. Because I think the thrill of dropping your phone is like a top adrenaline rush. Yeah. On your toes. Trying to kick it, trying to stop it with your foot. And that moment when you drop your phone, I did it like maybe four months ago.

I dropped it on just beautiful concrete, and it just smashed in the perfect way. Nice. And I was just like, that moment where you're like, I got to pick up my phone and it just smashed in the perfect way nice like that moment where you're like I gotta pick up my phone and see if it's okay yeah that is so does anyone else have small hands and they can't reach the north west quadrant of their keyboard so I have to use two hands to type a cue what's the north your two hand left yeah it sucks because I want to be able to I can't reach the cue with just a. It's a stretch.

Well, I text with my left hand. What are you talking about? The cue's right there. Kyle, there's no way your hand's that small. I can reach it. Is your hand one inch? Yeah, so, like, I can't. No, I can't hit the emoji tab.

Oh, my God, Kyle. Yeah. You got to get something. You got to get that checked out. What was I going to say? to get something you get that checked out um what was i gonna say do you think danny devito or mongolia gets more hits on their wikipedia page devito mongolia is mongolia no that's not where everest is right that's nepal uh touching paul and india yeah mongolian beef probably like a What like the 5th or 6th

I think DeVito Is there a way to check? Probably Or just google searches who has more Mongolia DeVito Yeah Mongolia doesn't really Oh there we go What happened that day?

Probably something bad. Yeah. So White Sox saves here. What's up? The phone case thing. Do you guys... Did you see Caleb Williams with the pink phone case? I did.

I've always said pink phone cases rock. But what about before that? What about that? Did that rock? That's music. He's also maybe got a purse. He's listening to music. He's got an expensive clutch, I think it's called.

A clutch? But like... That bag? That little bag? Is that lipstick his color? Yeah, that's the weird thing to me. I don't care about the... Guys can't look nice now?

Lipstick's a little... I mean, that's a shitty lipstick job, too. Kate, can we confirm that? Is he wearing lipstick? I think he's a spring. I think he's a cool spring. The Bears better draft him because I've already gone all in on defending everything. Yeah, that's what I just did.

Yeah. On the blog. Love pink. To me, this is confidence. That's hot. Yeah. I'm just saying. Exactly.

Leader of men and women. Yep. He does it both. Yeah. He better be good, though. I know. He ain't eating a lie. We're in a corner where I just know this could go so badly.

Because, yeah, Bears quarterbacks suck historically anyway. But this one would be the one that breaks this. Oh, yeah. How good does he have to be he has to be very like top what if he's like trevor lawrence last season trevor lawrence suck last season yeah that he no he's gotta be better he's gotta be better than that he's gotta be like a top five quarter he's gotta be yes he has to be great he has to be great he has to be great or else what uh our lives that might be the last the last straw if he's a bust that might be the last draw.

If he's a bust, that might be the last draw. But I feel like I've... How long is his... I don't know. We haven't had the first pick. And that, too. You've got to take all that into account. But if he's great, it's going to be awesome because we're going to have, like, you know,

50-year-old men at Soldier Field with pink nails. Yeah. This guy, this is our guy. We could change the world. Caleb Williams could change the world. What if he's really good? Really good, I'll take. Okay.

Yeah, I'll take really good. I'll take anything really good and above. Okay, okay. Good, no. Good, no. Really good or above. Like Justin Herbert? Is that the cutoff? Yeah, he's really good. I think he's really good. What's no. Good, no. Really good or above. Like Justin Herbert? Is that the cutoff?

Yeah, he's really good. I think he's really good. What's the cutoff, though? I think he's got to be Justin Herbert or better. Okay, I think that's fair. Is Justin Herbert top five? No. He's like seven.

He was bad last year. Yeah. All quarterbacks were kind of bad last year, though. Yeah, they were all injured. Yeah. Jay, do you think he's going to be good? You're a draft analyst. He's like the shoe-in number one.

That's not what I asked. The first sight of instability, people are going to rip him apart. And I don't know if this is. Dante is the most broken brain of all broken brains. Dante's brain is the most broken. Oh, yeah. He hates him. Yes, come sit down.

Sit down. Caleb Williams. He's about to. Well, you already said Chicago's going to eat this guy alive or something. Oh, you disagree? If he wins, no. Look in the 90s when that kind of stuff was much less palatable by people. Dennis Rodman.

Are you pink phone shaming? He was. Hold on. Catch me up to speed. Are we talking about the fingernail painting? Yeah. And the iPhone. Yeah, that's cool.

Let me ask you a question. All right. Let me ask you a question. Just say yes or no. Was David Bowie cool? He was the fucking coolest. Thank you. I rest my case.

He wasn't the starting quarterback. Well, he could have been. What are you talking in? Yeah, starting. What was that? What was that? That ain't you. He was a star child, man.

The starting quarterback. David Bowie was confirmed cool. I rest my case. He was the coolest. Right. So Caleb Williams is on path to be the coolest. But David Bowie would be an awesome guy. All right, here, let me pose something to you.

I was actually going to write about this. Oh, no. You think you're on a watch list, by the way? You know he doesn't get... Just the government. He gets randomly checked because they think he's arabic at airports i'm not that's what you said no no that's true that's true what was he gets like pulled over by tsa like oh we got a random check what was dante what was the thing that you

thought that uh barcelona was anti-italian oh yeah but what was it what what made you think that uh this kid posting a picture saying fuck italians on his shirt that's actually a fair point yeah i don't represent uh was that sold to my co-workers and i did a i did an interview that got edited out or never saw the light of day where it was nate and feidelberg and john brought out the t-shirt that dave wore and said that it was going to be debuted in the barstool store and that got taken out how much of your content do you think gets censored oh a lot but the weird the weird thing the weird thing about that was nate and I and John had a really good, I think it was two episodes, and they just never did anything with him.

Never posted him, cut a few clips out, whatever. But I want to get back to my thing. I have one last question about you being crazy. When did you start being crazy? I've known you for a very long time. What was the moment? I don't think I'm crazy i don't know i don't think i'm crazy do you think i'm crazy i oh i think you're crazy but i like i like that you're crazy yeah i'm not saying it in a bad way i'm saying like i you

need a couple wild cards independent thinkers caleb williams types out there as i put you in caleb williams kind of one in one i don't think caleb williams uh is no offense on on the same level as you as me athletic athletically obviously superior mentally i think he's a mental midget oh okay i think he's going to break very very quickly i think what, though? I think by week eight. Week eight? Based on what? I mean, dude, he couldn't handle. First off, he couldn't handle Lincoln Riley's playbook. They had to dumb down the playbook. What do you mean?

He won a Heisman with him. Dude, he had to dumb down a playbook. Who are you getting this information from? I have not heard this speak. Dante has sources. No, no. I want to ask you this, though, and be honest. Okay.

If this were Green Bay Packers situation. Oh, yeah. I'd fucking make fun of them all the time. No, no, no, no. If roles are reversed and the Packers are drafted number one. Yeah. Would you or would you not want Caleb Williams going to Green Bay? I wouldn't.

I would not at all. I think he's very good. Yes. I don't believe you, too. Yes. Oh, no. Dude, I would make fun of him a lot. Oh, yeah.

I would definitely be. You'd loathe him. You'd be killing him. Would you call him gay lib? Yeah. Which he is. You guys. He already has.

I already have. No, I would. No. I think he's very good at quarterbacking. Which is all he has to do. At a five-minute highlight reel, there's a thousand of them on the internet, and you're like, that's the... Who's got it? It's a highlight reel. You don't see his bad plays on those, but it's the greatest thing of all time.

He's awesome. He's awesome. I can't believe that it was ever even an argument between him and fields i agree you guys you guys make sure you clip all this i i if i'm wrong i'm wrong oh if i'm wrong i'm just gonna delete everything look at the fucking painting that i bought a couple years ago when they drafted fields i was all in on fields if i'm wrong i'll say i'm wrong and on to the next guy so you don't think it was you think it was the guy you don't think it was everything else surrounding the guy no i said that on saint patrick's day to your tweet yeah i think that he to say that they failed him without

addressing his failures i think is no so it's they're together all right but we have listen they're gonna play the games, and we're going to find out who's right or wrong. I want to go back to real quick where I had White Sox, David, and we were talking about griffs. You signed up for an app that automatically buys Nancy Pelosi's stocks? Yeah. I have it, too.

Oh, my God. What? I have it, too. I mean – That's why I brought him in because I saw that tweet last night. I was like, what? I didn't actually give it my bank account info or anything yet but i did download it fucking instantly it was the most quick i've ever downloaded any app ever i've made

what is the point if it's not connected and it is it connects to like robin hood and shit but would it be so you're just gonna buy all her stocks if i do this obviously do you have it set up i've made over three grand oh my god wait wait really so here's what happens is it autopilot i picked yes i don't know free ads but i picked her and dan crenshaw both sides of the fence that's what you do yeah and it automatically i put in a certain amount of money smart like a year ago and it automatically just does whatever they do and my returns are like 58 or something over the i just don't look at every now and then i open it i'm like oh i've made three grand so far and it just keeps going

how much do you put in i think i put in like i think i put in about four grand now the key point though is what well does it tell you when she sells i have no idea what it does that would be the important part it does everything she does so if she sells then my then whatever i then whatever stock and it shows you you can click around but i don't i don't do numbers i don't set it forget it i just set it and forget it and that's incredible this is genius have you tried withdrawing the money where did you guys hear about this it goes through on instagram it's through charles schwab sends the money in through the so it's like a legit thing or whatever td ameritrade but it's switching over whatever but um i forget how i heard about it but the only thing is politicians don't have to disclose their trades for up to 40 days so that's what someone told me they often wait till

the last minute to disclose it and by then it could change but so far it's been like working out really good for me and i don't do i don't know why i did this i think i was having an episode what a genius idea. Yeah. Dante, what do you think about politicians? Yeah. What do you think of Nancy Pelosi? Are you like, do you actually think you're being watched? Oh, we are.

Everyone is. What do you mean? But like you specifically, do you think they have a Dante file somewhere in like the CIA? No, I don't fucking matter. Okay. But you do have a controversial opinion. I in like the cia no i don't fucking matter okay but you do have controversial i think you do no i think dave does oh 100 definitely does yeah i put i some kid walked up to me this weekend introduced himself i tweeted this out and he was like hey you know love barstool blah blah it happens all the time and he goes question for you, you know, love Barstool, blah, blah, blah. It happens all the time. And he goes, question for you.

Do you think Portnoy has been approached by the Illuminati yet? Oh. And if not, what do you think his answer is going to be when he is? Oh, he will say no. But here's the thing. I think he probably has. So wait, what's going on with P. Diddy? Don't look at me.

I think we should ask Dave. Did you hear this shit? Yeah. Oh, Che got it from Greer. So Che, why don't you tell us? Ooh, old Greerzy? I don't have all the facts. Spider started telling me some stuff and I was not buying it.

So I had to check with Greer and Greer is confirming this stuff. Oh, great. That's your sources now. Do you guys know about this? No, not at all. Spider and Greer. About what? Does this involve buses of kids?

Well, he just got, didn't he just get raided by the FBI? Yeah, both his homes. Oh, shit. He fled to like the Bahamas. What the fuck? That's old news. Oh, yeah, brother. That's old news.

You're talking about the audio? What do you know? I don't know anything about audio Some audio got leaked today His old bodyguard said he's had enough of keeping quiet And he feels all this guilt He released, allegedly, an audio recording from an orgy Involving Meek Mill and P. Diddy

Wow It's out there on Twitter How would you know it's Meek Mill and P. Diddy. Wow. It's out there on Twitter. How would you know it's Meek Mill and P. Diddy? Are they rapping their songs? Yeah. I don't know. You're fucking my Meek Mill ass so well. Me, Meek Ill.

Fuck me. Pull it up. Pull it up. See if you can tell. Man, you know Meek Mill loves this P. Diddy cock. Meek Mill loves that P. Diddy cock. Meek Mill loves that P. Diddy cock. Kate's Philly. Well, that's your guy, right?

This might be tepid waters because I think this, from what I gather. Maybe I'm using that word wrong. Tepid is hot water? Tepid is like lukewarm. It's kind of like tepid water. So I'm not sure. Going to tepid waters would be like P. It's kind of like tepid water. It's like tepid water. It's like tepid water. So I'm not sure. Going to tepid waters would be like, P. Diddy, we don't know. Yeah.

Okay, then I'm correct because I don't know. All right, that was tepid. Good job, man. Thanks, Jared. I think the scandal is like because they were minors or like at the time. Like Chilean minors? Yeah, what were they? Like sub-18 year olds.

Oh. They were than 18. So is he like R. Kelly stuff? Yeah. It sounds like it. Very much so. I think he was drugging women. Oh, no.

And actually yesterday at the Miami airport, his drug mule got arrested as well. Confirmed his drug mule? That's what Rolling Stone is reporting it now. Like major news sites are saying so is he gonna go to jail he's run off to antigua no he didn't he was not on that plane only his jet went to antigua so all the documents that's what i thought he's getting epstein man he's not going to jail shouldn't he be leaning into fucking meek mill he's wait what happened that's not illegal he's a financier? He knows way too much.

He's got way too big of a mouth. And if he's going down, he's going to take way too many people with him. How deep does it go? Is he like a kingpin in this world? He's like the kingpin. No, Dante's saying he's just a pawn. I think it's like him and Jay-Z. This goes all the way to the top.

And then who's above that? Illuminati, man. That's Illuminati? Yeah. Is that why John Cena did the naked thing? I don't know about that, but I think Portnoy's the guy that has your answers. He would not join the Illuminati. See, I think that if he hasn't been approached yet,

that he would be offended that he hasn't been approached, even though he wouldn't accept him on anything actually to tie it all together jerry's convinced that caleb williams is in the illuminati so that he and he's like you guys are probably gonna win like five superbowls wait what yeah jerry's got the illuminati backing him it's fine by me who is the illuminati yeah yeah what's in it for them what is can you give me the because I always hear the word, but I don't really know what it means. I'm dying to know. But it's really. I have an idea.

I knew. In your mind. What is it like? Yeah. I had to explain. Like a council of men in robes. It's like the it's like the coolest of the cool kids club. I kind of want to get invited.

I'm not going to lie. But when you have to fuck minors at that part yeah I don't stay away from was Epstein Illuminati or was he just his own I think he was Mossad oh what's Mossad Israeli intelligence like CIA for Israel isn't that right Kate am I wrong, you're right. I'm an idiot. Those are the... Now, Weinstein had them. What did Weinstein... I didn't watch this Nickelodeon thing yet. Oh, it's bad.

Is that part of the movie? I don't want to watch it. No, it's super bad. It'll ruin everything for you. What do you mean it'll ruin everything? Dude, it's so depressing. You know how Amanda Bynes is a little nutty now? You watch this and you're like,

oh, you get it. I get it. Yeah, and all our favorite shows growing up, they'rety now. You watch this and you're like, oh, you get it. I get it. Yeah. And all our favorite shows growing up, they're like ruined now. So what's the most recent thing you're working on? Cracking the case. I'm not cracking.

You're always cracking cases. I'm not. You saw Dune 2 yesterday at 10.30 p.m. Too late for a Monday movie. No, it was great. Wait, did you have the theater alone? Yep, it was awesome. Feidelberg tried to ruin that.

Did you see this? Until I can talk about this. I didn't post it. I was thinking about it, but then I was like, this is probably criminal. A couple came in about two-thirds of the way through the movie or halfway through the movie, sat in one of the rows in front. I don't think they knew I was in there. And the guy started getting blowed.

What? You could have tweeted about that. I took a video. Oh! Hell yeah. You have a head video? Yeah. Did you jerk off?

You just see her head You just see her head Like disappear for a while During Dune? Yeah Yeah during Dune It was very Very

This guy's watching the show As we speak He's like oh fuck God damn it Dante was there? What does it look like Nick? Can I see? There's a head going up

I sat around I want to see some head Let me see the head So that kind of ruined it but he got the why did it ruin it were you jealous or you could just watch the head I was like oh I have this whole theater myself

the sound was amazing did they ever realize you were there like after the movie hey guys what's up I would have given them that subtle like no they left before they left before no no I'm not I'm not I'm scrolling through the video Dante's got a lot of salacious stuff in that cell phone oh yeah let's actually scroll through it oh who's Claudia Fajal You screenshotted him. Only fans for later?

Come on. Did you see what Feidelberg did to Dante? No. Dante bragged about having the theater to himself, so Feidelberg bought three tickets to a Chicago theater and said anybody that wants it can go. What if that was the guy getting domed up? Yeah, maybe Feidelberg paid for free.

Oh, free head. Free head. You know what? I didn't think about that. It very well could have. But, like, we got free movie tickets. Why don't we do some head? Or John put that in their minds.

Dave, let me give you a head from a daunting note. Yeah. If you go, you head from a jaunt. Yeah. If you go, you gotta suck his dick, so. Were they hot? No. I mean, I was I was like nosebleeds. They were down in front. But when they walked in?

I didn't see. Wasn't really looking. I bet they were hot. I was watching Timothee Chalamet. He's such a douche. I hate him. Why? I think he's pretty good.

He's got a punchable face. Just one of those faces. I think he's pretty fucking good. Probably. I just hate him. That's fair. Yeah. Actually, no.

It is. No, it's fair. I would argue that. On a human level, that's not fair. Every one of you from Kate to Nick has a person they hate for no reason. Yeah, and it's not fair. It's unjustifiable.

No, it's fair. Irrational. Oh, yeah, I see what we're doing. Yeah, no, it's not fair. It is fair, though. No. I bet if you met him, he's a sweetheart. Probably, but I hate his guts.

I was kind of waiting for you to say more than just like, you're like, I hate him. Which is like, hang out with him if he texts you and he's like, hey, I'm a fan. Let's chill. Yeah. You'd love him. Yeah. But he hasn't, so I don't. He's a gamer.

He games. He does. Makes custom controllers for Xbox. Oh, shit. That's cool. I guess that's kind of cool. He's still, I hate his face. When did you start hating him?

When I found out who he was. Is it because he's cute? Is it because he's cute? Is it because he's cute? Yeah, are you like attracted to him? No, he's got like vampire white skin. All right. So if he got a tan, would you hate him less? Probably.

Okay. That'd be a start, yeah. All right. Okay. Dave, you don't like white skin? Not that white. That's like bleach white. That's bad white.

Looking right at Mook. Could it be too dark? It could be. It could be. For a white person, yeah, it could be like you're sitting in a tanning bed. He's got like orange, like Dante's skin. Yeah, yeah. Like Dante's skin.

So on the Mook to Dante scale, you want somewhere in the middle. Right in the meaty part of the kerf. Yeah. Is that too much to ask? Who would you say has the perfect white skin? Everybody in here not Mook or Dante. Oh, this is a new wave. I like that.

We're getting like inter-racism. That's a new level of racism. There's only certain whites you like. Yeah. As long as you fit in my range. You want Timothee Chalamet to be more fuckable, is what it sounds like. Yes. And you wouldn't agree with the statement, all white lives matter?

No, I wouldn't. You talked about that with Moot. Would Dante be more handsome if he lightened up? Yeah. He sits in a tanning bed for 12 hours a day. Dude, I was in Florida for five days. There's the X. There's the X in it.

Florida. Are you tan, Daunte? In the depths of winter? Yeah. December, January? Yeah. Get in there? Yeah, like every other week.

I need to. There's such thing as B12 deficiency. This is the government conspiracy. do they put it what are they putting in our water yeah i don't know you tell me oh no i think i think you're just like pulling everything you can right now well no you're crazy no i don't i don't believe all this like bat shit stuff just the like common sense stuff like the q no no that's like batshit okay just common sense stuff yeah loose change what's up the 9-11 documentary oh yes caleb williams just roasted jack mack on twitter yeah that's my quarterback pink phone phone is crazy, not going to lie. Your profile pic is crazy.

Oh! Oh! Jacket back. Oh, is that real? Yeah. Oh, I'm a fan now. Oh, that's going to go crazy. Oh, fuck yes.

That's my quarterback. But is that a sign of mental toughness or weakness? Oh, I don't know know i'm impressed that you knew what pfp stood for i would i would have been sitting there for an hour trying to figure out what the fuck is pfp profile pic oh he changed it oh you can't change that. Change his profile pic? Change it? No. Change it to Caleb Williams. Oh. No, you can't do that. Because you've got to let Caleb Williams have the joke off. You have to. It's part of the rules.

Oh, you can't do that. That is part of the rules. Yeah. He roasted one specific thing. You've got to let that sit out there. Okay, well, Dante, White Sox Dave, thank you, boys. It was a pleasure. Dante, tell me afterwards the things you believe in, okay?

I know you're being shy right now. No, that's boo. Go back. I'm a Jack Mack guy, but he can't do that. He's got to leave it up. It's not even a bad pick. You got to stay in the pocket on that one. Mm-hmm.

Ride it out. I'm going to say that. Stay in the pocket. That's a good a bad pick. You got to stay in the pocket on that one. Mm-hmm. Absorb the heat. Ride it out. Yeah. I'm going to say that. Stay in the pocket. That's a good move. Gotcha. Gotcha.

KB, speaking of colorists, you got your Kool-Aid man fit on today. You look good. Yeah, this big red shirt. Someone told me I look good in red. I don't like this shade. I think it pops. See, we need this lady to come. Yeah, kind of want her

Yeah You will I'm telling you I need to find a good example To show you But you can really see The difference I want her to come in today

I would love to just get A full blown makeover Yeah what if you're wearing The wrong color of clogs Impossible Yeah You look chill as hell dude I said this on Mostly Sports

I was called a lesbian a lot yesterday A lot Embrace it man I am guilty You could just become the quarterback for the Bears and I'll defend everybody There we go A lesbian would be a really good quarterback Yeah

Tough Tough as nails Do people ever have a lesbian starting quarterback? Remember when the Bears had a lesbian at QB? Sick. Big old lesbian. Subaru sales in Chicago went through the roof. Yeah, we need a lesbian quarterback.

Stack the box against the lesbian. Oh. Just have them go rogue on draft night they just take a big lesbian lesbian offensive line would be awesome but all lesbian offensive line yeah center who was kicking the shit out of everyone oh my god it would be a wall it'd be like a dam or something like that lesbian center yeah um you want to do the high noon ad read sure do do it up high noon the high noon el prez pack is here featuring the top four high nude vodka seltzer flavors as ranked by el prez himself these flavors include passion fruit pineapple pear and the all-new flavor tangerine, all made with real vodka and real juice.

This 12-pack is only here for a limited time, so get it while you can. Just look for the pack with Dave's face on it. You can even scan the QR code on the pack and have El Prez virtually join your party. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find an El Prez pack nearest you. Thank you to High Noon. What was Frank dressed up as yesterday? He had a wig on? I think he just grabbed one of the Out and About Boys wigs.

Oh. The Out and About Boys winning the bracket busters. Easily. Incredible. Yeah. Those guys with 20 grand each. Watch out. One will die.

Yeah. Oh, shit. He looks real Pixar-y. He does. How was Billy on Wake Up Mincy today? Did anyone watch? Yeah. No.

Do we have any highlights, TJ? Saw Mincy in a very wrinkled suit. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a clip of Billy talking about how in order order to be a sport there needs to be the risk of bodily harm and Mincy paying zero bit of attention. Oh. No. None attention. And this was Billy's

first big interview. I know. Right here. I know it's violent. I know it can cause a lot of injuries. But would anyone play a game without the risk of bodily harm? Because that's not a game that's a that's not a sport bodily harm is part of every great sporting event we need to ensure that we maintain some of the integrity of the violent blood sport that america's come to love i know

it's violent he was definitely trying to say that's not a sport, that's a game. Yeah. He said that's not a game, and then he was like, fuck. Yeah, that's what he did. He was like, fuck, where do I take this? And then Mincy was waiting just to talk about how he was on the float on Mardi Gras. Yeah, Mincy came into my office today and just wanted to tell me

how much fun this weekend was. I was just like, yep. Like stood at the door. Yeah. It's the first five seconds of Mincy. If you can just keep your eyes away, he moves on. But if you lock eyes, it's over.

Oh, yeah. It's the next 20 minutes. Look at that. He looks like a politician. He does. What a suit. I was walking by Mincy the other day and I locked eyes for a half a second and I was like what's up Mincy and then I was walking to the bathroom and he followed me into that oh yeah that'll happen yeah so is not flushing upstairs what big thing yeah poop chucks on the case like horrible poops on flush not flushing chucks that has

happened three plus times why would you not okay well the auto flush yeah i want to get out of work ahead of this to say it was not me but i actually think it's a funny move because you have to like get up and go wipe somewhere else that's funny that's funny. I don't know if they're not wiping. Turd no TP, hilarious. Hilarious. That's what I assume. If you just see a turd, if you just walk into a bathroom and there's just a turd. Huge turd.

Someone put in the work to pull this off. And then you have to waddle to the next fucking thing. But with toilet paper, that's not funny. That's fucked up. That's what I think. Why did you have to waddle to the next fucking... But with toilet paper, that's not funny. That's fucked up. That's what I... Yeah. Yeah, okay. Why did you assume there was no toilet paper?

I don't know, but I... You assumed it. I was like, that's actually very funny. Yeah, you never said toilet paper. You just said poop. I might start doing that. Oh, yeah, I should have said it. I might start just dropping...

Yeah, I don't... Dumps and then go to the next stall and wipe there. It's a funny... I've seen turds in the toilet. And, like, you try to, like, hand jive over toilet to get it to flush, and it just doesn't go. There's a side button. Oh. You didn't know that?

No, but I'm not going to do that for somebody else's poop. It was you. No. Was it Nick? He doesn't know there's a side button. You just admitted to pooping in the toilet, and it's sometimes- No, no, no. Not knowing that there's a side button.

Not knowing how to flush it. Oh, no, no. I don't know. Nick, side button. No side button, Nick. Oh, that there's a side button. Not knowing how to flush it. I don't know. Nick, side button. No side button, Nick. Oh, shit. Is that what they're calling him? No side button, Nick.

Oh, my God. No side button, Nick. No side button, Nick. Oh, that rolls off the tongue. Don't acknowledge his side button. Oh, you didn't know there was a side button. No, because I don't poop here. Okay.

Allegedly. No, flush here. Yeah, yeah. I have done that On accident to myself What? Just like Took a big old shit And forgot to flush

And then back Into my bathroom Then it's you No I flush here Because I'm Very scared Wait how do you You forget to flush

Your turds in your You ever just take Like a 30 minute shit And then you just Get up from the toilet And No Yeah never

One time in my entire life and then like I'll just go back to my bathroom like an hour later your apartment's so small the whole apartment would just smell like turd exactly yeah so I get back up and I'm like oh fuck I did it again it was you it was me no I flush here because I'm

deathly afraid of like security cam footage of like this is the guy that left the shit in the toilet. Oh, Jack Mack changed it back. Good. There we go. All right. But now he makes you look weird for the tweet.

So he needs to change it back. Yeah. Yeah, now you have to address. This is a good move. He's going through it. It's a good move. Now he'll make a great TikTok out of this

And come out on top Oh yeah Yeah he will It's gonna have like 18 million views I love Jack Mack But he Yeah

That's fair play Yeah The game is a game Yep He got your ass See this is where When people are like Oh

Dude He's got a little feist to him Yeah Feisty Real feisty Feisty guy Pink phone You and him are gonna get along

Great Yeah No way Why not What do you mean Lesbians and gays are like the Capuits and Montagues True They are

True They don't hang out No God no It's always straight girl, gay best friend It's never lesbian and gay guy No Whoa

No They're too competitive That was a fucking barn burner last night WVU. Yeah. I really enjoyed watching that entire game. I watched the entire game. And Kaitlyn Clark got her 31.5 points on the last free throw.

Oh, she did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was a great game. Yeah, good defense. Women's troops, where it's at. It's been fun. Controversial game.

Yeah, I mean, that would have been The funniest thing ever If Iowa had lost Yeah Her last home game ever And also like All this talk about How big the final four

Is gonna be And she just wasn't In the 16 Right I was kinda rooting for that A little bit Me too I will for sure

Yeah Are you in on Kaitlyn Clark villain I don't really know Uh She is She has villainous attributes, but it's also like whenever... Is she a bad girl?

Whenever someone gets as good as her, there will always be the camp that's like, fuck her. Got it. Which I think is fair. Yeah. They really like, they pick apart every little thing.

That's when you know you've made it. She is animated when things aren't going well. Yeah. I liked her dad telling her. He's like, shut up. Yeah. Yelling at her from the. But yeah, that's that's the mark of like a true.

Like sports star. When you get people like enough haters. When White Sox Dave hates you. Yeah. Oh, White Sox. He has to hate her. He has to. Right.

Has to hate her. I've been calling uh white boy rick calls her caitlin clank damn they're saying it fuck it's pretty good right fuck that's too far right up there with uh no side button nick guy doesn't have a side button nsb this This is a disaster. It's a total disaster. You got to get out in front of this. Yeah, I got to shit and flush for you guys. You got to start hitting every side button.

New wipe off. Yeah. Flush off. I don't shit here. One of the worst decisions we've ever made. Yeah. Hey, how is Brandon feeling? I don't know.

I think he's dead. Yeah, he didn't pick up a phone call today. We tried to call him. We tried again with a classic joke. Missed out on The Rock last night. Yeah, we had tickets pick up a phone call today. We tried to call him. We tried again. It was a classic joke. Missed out on The Rock last night. Yeah, we had tickets. I also did. But, yeah, he didn't even go to Raw. We had tickets to Raw last night.

Brandon didn't want to go. It does tickle me a little bit that Brandon can't handle four days of watching college basketball. His body's like, no. We're done. Wait, so you called call them let me call yeah he didn't pick up i'll pick up for you big cats call an emergency oh no it's big no no you might actually yeah oh You look great Hey will you Will you zoom in

If we send you a link No Why Just zoom in real quick I don't I can't get off the couch Alright TJ we'll send you the zoom right now

But I don't I'm not gonna But we miss you All you do No you just click it on your phone Why Because I want to see your Because I want to see your face I want to see your face

Alright he'll send you the link Wow Alright Send him the link He looks bad Does he? Yeah He has like the bubonic plate

He looked like shit yesterday He looks bad bad Yeah Poor boy Maybe he was shitting Hey whatever happened Is he going to the Final Four? Or no? No, I think he's going to WrestleMania.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. So, I'll have to figure something out. I'll do mostly sports. Yeah, you want to? Yeah. Yeah.

Monday? Yeah. Yeah, no problem. Nice and early. I will. I'll get up. I don't fucking care. Yeah, he's doing WrestleMania.

Shit. WrestleMania is going to rock. It should, right? TJ was trying to explain to me. You went last night? Yeah. TJ went last night. Who'd you go with?

You could almost see the room full of seats. Connor Griffin, Stephanie, and Zupi. And it was fun? It was like the best. You had good seats? They were in a suite, which was good, but there's a 50 foot wide

WrestleMania sign that hangs in the arena which hung in front of our suite. So we couldn't really see the ring, which is bad. Show them the picture you sent me. Also, the suite, like the only plus of a suite is the food, and you picture you sent me. Okay. Also, the sweet, like the only plus of a sweet is the food,

and you don't eat that. Correct. Damn. Sweet food is great. Just go to town. Can you buy a sweet? Yeah. That's how you do it.

For like the season. Oh, yeah. Your specific sweet. I think it's usually like a business most corporations do they're so expensive I think they're like hundreds of thousands oh my god TJ

that's the ring and is that the big ass sign because you were in the sky level suites oh no so you guys just didn't watch raw so we we were everybody had to like move to one side of the suite and kind of like stand up These were the tickets branding got you yeah Imagine if he was in these oh, you would have flipped you yes

Did he did you send him the Zoom link? Yeah. Did you guys see Jerry got someone his first foot job? Yeah. Pretty fucking sick. That's kind of cool. He's a pioneer. Yeah, he's just opening doors for people.

I couldn't do it. You couldn't foot job someone? No, either or. How does that even? Yeah, I don't really understand it that kind of thing maybe if i was on the precipice of already coming it's just like a just a just like you needed one more stroke not even count the final stroke because the job implies work yeah yeah you're right the foot job implies hard work hey Jerry, thank you for the arch madness.

I watched it with my wife, and she thought it was great and started asking questions. Fast forward to last night, and I got my first foot job. You're a good man. Open a lot of doors for me. What a... He's a hero. Yeah.

Open a lot of doors. Oh, there it is. Hey, Brandon. Hey, Nick. How you doing? Good. How are you? Good.

What's your shirt? I don't know. What's wrong? I don't know. I'm sick. What kind of sick? I don't know. Diarrhea?

No, it's not diarrhea. I'm just sick. You're coughing? Are you the flu? No, I think it might be the flu. It was sniffles for four days, and then it took a turn. To what? It took a turn.

Damn. It took a turn for the worse. But what did it become from sniffles? Throat and headache and joint soreness. You have the flu. i might have the flu do you feel a little bit like i can't believe we got the flu just from watching too much basketball no you like this push this narrative that i'm not built for this i am i am built for this shit. Clearly. I am built for this shit.

You almost died from watching basketball. You like to push this narrative. I'm not, but I am. It's like Brandon Walker died. What happened? Week eight of the NFL. Yeah. Double header. Yeah, they had two Monday night games you can't handle it uh have you eaten anything no what oh that means you're really sick if you're not eating yeah

no I haven't eaten have you looked at the uh titties that guy sends you every day yeah nice they were I didn't like the angle of them today they were they were a little that guys send you every day? Yeah. Nice, nice. I didn't like the angle of them today. They were a little misshapen. What would you say timetable for when we can expect your return? I was aiming for tomorrow, but it's starting to look like Thursday. Okay.

All right, well, we miss you. I'm aiming for tomorrow. You like to say I'm not built for this shit, and you're wrong. Yeah, no, you're not built for this shit and you're wrong yeah no you're not built for this shit at all I mean you fought through four days of sniffles I did I was there

every day with the sniffles and I was fine and then we got to that second session on Sunday and it was just too much I ran out of gas so what was the game that did you in was the Alabama Grand Canyon game oh no that was ew What was the game that did you in? Was the Alabama Grand Canyon game? Oh, no.

That was... Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Look how red he just got. Do not come in tomorrow. Do not come in tomorrow.

You're not going to be well tomorrow. You want me to come? No. No. I want you to not come. Do not come. I'll come. Do not come.

Do not come. I'm not going to come. Brandon not come. I'll come. Do not come. Do not come. I'm not going to come. Brandon, yeah, and think about it. There's like CBI games tonight, NIT games. You're not going to listen. Oh, God, I can't. Dan, I can't even think about college basketball at the moment. Yeah, it almost killed you.

I don't know what. I don't know. It's all good. Rest up. Rest up up big bro do you do you think Brandon's doing this

a little bit because it's your time yeah it is 100% we tried to talk when the calendar turned to mark oh he's still here

shit he came back shit I love it did you hear what I just said Brandon what okay I'm playing away

from his time yeah I'm playing away from his time again yeah you are I'm built for this shit so yeah he is trying to he's trying to yeah I tried to talk uh it was like March like fifth or something and I tried to talk about college basketball and I look over and Brandon's like stacking a paper like he's just like completely checked out and I called him out on it and then it's become a running and now he's saying that like anytime college basketball comes up on the show he's like I can't talk about it I don't want to talk about it and then he for four days he watches it and he's literally sick yeah I think the man is allergic to college basketball he overdosed on college basketball yeah because his is he wasn't ready

for it he's not ready for it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why he's going to WrestleMania instead of the Final Four. Well, I actually think that's probably a good thing because I think the Final Four would kill him. I think so, too. Oh, it would literally kill him. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, dude. Holy shit. Basketball in person is like, it would be the most dangerous.

It's basically fentanyl. It's a cyanide. Yeah. You drop a little fentanyl in his basketball. Make him watch it he gets real depressed he's outside of the gates i'll fucking do it especially like bring nark in with us to watch the final four especially if we get four one seeds and the games are awesome oh my god holy shit he'd be fucked he'd be so fucked yeah he's built for this bill for this he's built for this he's built for it

he's 100% not built for it no his body's crumbling it's like when we went to Clemson for a college football show and it was like 72 and sunny and he just started puking how else did he get sick we were with each other every second all of us were with each other

we are all literally built I think that's the most plausible theory. Oh, yeah, you guys were shoulder to shoulder. Every day. You're sitting in a room together with a sick, sick man for four days straight, yet we're all fine. Everybody's fine but him. He might just be built different in like a bad way.

Yeah. What else would he have been exposed to but college basketball? That was all he. I think a virus just sees him as like the mark. Yeah. Every time they're like, we can party in this spot for a while. Look at that. Yeah, he's not going to stop us.

All that space. Man, there's Chick-fil-A sauce in there. Fucking go crazy. Did you see the yak bracket? Oh, no. Let's see it. I saw there was a snub. I think there's going to be some seeding.

I think there's a 13 seed that might make it. Malasek was upset that the threesome got snubbed. Yep. Upset in game one, Will Compton. Oh, the threesome. I'm really sad. Oh, no. Will Compton.

I texted Will today. I bought a bunch of tickets for the Boys and Girls Club in Tallahassee to go to his live show. Oh, yeah. That's great. That's really nice of you. And I guess he canceled it. What? Yep.

All those kids. Wait, you had a live show in Tallahassee. And I guess he canceled it. What? Yep. All those kids. Wait, he had a live show in Tallahassee? Yeah, and he canceled it, so the kids are going to be out. Oh. Yeah. How did he break the news to all the people that bought tickets

that the live show was canceled? Did he send an email? No, he just tweeted, it's canceled. Oh. Brutal. All right, let's see. He'll make it up.

All right. KB Greedy. What is that? KB Greedy What is that? KB Greedy? That's when you're wet as fuck When you kept on getting When you got wet like That's a rightful one seed

Yeah yeah Mincy Apples being a five Is a huge Low Under seeding I think Jeff Gauntlet Beats Nick Swirly Jeff Gauntlet

Yeah Mincy Apples is a Nick's Nick Mincy Apples is going all the way To the final four KB Greedy Is the hardest I've ever laughed In my life Tommy Walker Day That's a good two How many apples is it? Minty apples is going all the way to the final four. KB Greedy is the hardest I've ever laughed in my life.

Tommy Walker Day, that's a good two. Roll-up Day. Yeah. Tank Race Puke. That was when Big Cat and... And Taylor, we just started puking everywhere. Oh, yeah. And forcing ourselves to puke. The actual tank, yeah.

Oh, Joe Montana M&M's a strong one. That's so strong. Data Day, those should be play-ins. Oh, I love Stinky Cloud. Joe Montana M&M's a strong one That's so strong Dataday Those should be play-ins Oh I love Stinky Cloud Grilled cheese Not even recency bias Oh the street wet is underseated

Yeah I forgot about that Street wet could definitely be an upset What was the nut off again? That's my boy Pat with a giant nut. He's a father now. Tim Rootbeer. That's 15. First wet wheel.

These are some great ones. Ronescream is my favorite, I think. Yeah, I might pick him. I love the Zod. The Zod doing the whatever drinking challenge he did. What was it? Hold on. Also, Zod-Ros prank. The Zod doing the whatever drinking challenge he did. What?

What was it? Hold on. And also, Zod Home Run Derby, shouldn't that just be Big Cat Home Run Derby? I won that. Yeah, you're right. Oh, Feds the Zod. The first round of him beating Brandon, maybe? Yeah, yeah.

Popcorn Pope. That's when I struck out looking. I hope Gil's first J gets upset because I cringe every time I watch it. I think Juicy Yams could do it. Yeah. KB Blackout. Servant number two. I forgot to tell you guys, I had a skin-crawling

episode yesterday with a stranger. At the inspection, the inspector is giving us the report or whatever, and he's like, hey man, you work for Barstool. He's like, I looked you up. He's like, I saw that you and Shane Gillis stuff. I'm a huge Gillis fan.

That does suck. First of like, I saw you and Shane Gillis stuff. I'm a huge Gillis fan. Oh. That does suck. First of all, that's brutal. Can I watch the Doug's fart again? That is so funny. What was that? Fart Eliminator. Fart ordered for Kate.

I couldn't fart and he came in. Did I miss that? Yeah. No, you were there for Fart Eliminator. I think I was out of the studio. Fart Eliminator was one of my favorites. Fart Eliminator was one of the funniest days ever. Was that separate from the Fart Eliminator was one of my favorites. Fart Eliminator was one of the funniest days ever. Was that separate from the fart machine day?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like a duck. What the fuck? That was like a duck. What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? That was crazy.

Sass already has his face covered. Did he just walk in and do that? Yeah, we're like, hey, Doug, you need to fart and listen to it. Play it again. Just listen to it. No hesitation. That's how I picture every big boy fart. I think it's all you.

Is that every big boy fart? Yes. Oh, man, it was wet. We should put Fart Eliminator back on the wheel. I think so, too. Just put it on the name wheel. It's been long enough. Put it on the wheel. Yeah, get rid of one. Get rid of towel whip. Yeah, F on the name wheel. It's been long enough. Put it on the wheel.

Yeah, get rid of one. Get rid of the towel. Get rid of the towel. Yeah, fart eliminator. It has been long enough. Titus, do you think you could fart? Oh! Oh, yeah!

Oh. That was good stuff. That was such a Titus fart, too. What happened to Titus? I just respect that guy. I read your book, man. Fart Eliminator also, it's good for

growth of our audience because little kids love that shit. It was probably the hardest my kids have laughed when I showed them the clips of Fart Eliminator. We agreed that would be back on the wheel, but with a once a month cadence because we got back-to-back days. Oh, that's right.

Let's just put it back on the wheel. I think it's like a once a year thing. Because when it happens again, it'll be very funny, and then we'll not do it for another year. Remember the one I ripped? I ripped one so bad. Yeah, yours was the best.

Yeah. Yeah. I was proud of myself that day. None of them were overly stinky. No. Oh, man. What a funny fucking day that was. I don't think I could do it.

I hope it doesn't happen today. I don't think I could muster. I got nothing today. Yeah, I got... Yeah, but then we'll go get stuff. Oh, yeah. That's what we did last time. We just got a bunch of food.

That was an excellent day. We have to run that back. Were we laying on the floor trying to get them? That's the start of the intro, right? You're holding Jerry by the ankle. Trying to shake a fart out of him. We don't do that enough.

When it comes, I'll be so sad if it happens, if I'm not here. That would actually crush me. You have to be here. Didn't you have like two? Oh, I was playing hero ball. Yeah, I got a little. You're playing hero ball.

No, I was. I was starting to hear like, watch this home run. Let me do it again. I was hitting logo shots. What? And logo threes. You get a little cocky. I was getting cocky on it.

All right, so we got to do a Yak Gauntlet today because we have it sponsored. Oh, here we go. Who's this? Who's this? That. These random guys are filling out brackets. Oh, I think 49 and a half is – I don't know if if 49.5 is going to make it to the Final Four. Who does he have in the Final Four?

It's not beaten. Otani Day, Roan Scream, KB Greedy, 49.5. What beat Eminem, Otani Day? Yeah. Eminem was a true you-had-to-be-there moment in life. What a rush. We've got to do another KB's Wild one of my favorites is Zod doing the first KB's Wild

yeah so make that your name wheel KB's Wild fuck ethnic day oh no no no I like ethnic day I wanna do KB's Wild why don't we just do a KB's Wild or we can just schedule one

Yeah let's just schedule one Let's schedule one Next week? I'm out next week Oh yeah I would like one in May You can go without me I would like a May one

What's up Sam? May If you want me to do it Oh your book's May? I've got to go see my parents man I haven't seen my parents in two years Oh wow Hell yes.

But it has to be you doing it. Yes. Yeah, no. So May, May. April? April. I've got the classic, the Austin classic. That's it.

But yeah, I'm good. All right, what do you do in April? Schedule it. Yeah, let's go to KB's Wild. Nothing better than KB's Wild. I have my name wheel stuff. Oh oh yeah i have some uh ideas that didn't make the cut okay but i think maybe we could use them in the future uh bird's nest we just leave and go to bird's nest okay right um not great for the audience no this one is sleepover

with mook no i don't hate it. As long as it's not me, I would say. I would do it. I would do it. I would do it. Yeah, so we have to just that night stay with you? Just sleep over. All of us?

Just one. I think all of us. Would you be open? I would love all of us. All of us would be open. That would be an all-time night. It should be all of us. All right, fine.

Okay. I think it has to be all of us. Yeah. And we could go live for it. A little bonus. It's going to be tight. I know. That's the funny part.

Do games, challenges, pranks, truth or dare. Oh, my God. Sleeping bag tag. All right, so all of us sleep over. Sleeping bag tag. Yeah. This one is. Yeah.

Catch a bus. You just have to leave and ride a bus I'm out on bus This one just says read Reed Miller comes in and we play him 8v1 in basketball Okay And then the one that I want to submit

Is engagement We target one celebrity and we have to get a response From them by the end of it I like that Okay I like both of them engagement, we target one celebrity and we have to get a response from them by the end of it. Oh, cool. I like that. Okay. I like both, though.

I like that and Sleepover. Okay. Yeah. And then this one is just Seppuku. Oh, yeah. Big on Seppuku now. You're big on it? You finished Shogun.

I am caught up on Shogun. What is Shogun? So good. New episode tonight. Oh, everybody said it's good. It's a 16th century Japanese fictional drama, biographical drama. So it's real? No.

Wait, yeah. Is it based on? Wait, no, not. I don't know. Is it based on anything real? Historical fiction? I don't think it's real, yeah, but it's good. Like the details.

Loosely real? I don't know. Not sci-fi. I don't want to get in trouble. It's about samurai gangs in Japan. Oh, that's cool. Are there dragons and shit? No dragons.

Are there any wizards? No spaceships. No magic. Okay, so it is based in reality. Any Star Wars stuff? No. Okay. It's like Game of Thrones, but Japan style.

Game of Thrones very much had dragons. Yeah. That was the biggest premise of the entire show. The whole thing revol much had dragons. Nothing mythological. The whole thing revolved around dragons. Who could get the dragon? Jesus. How's that show Griselda? Was that good? I didn't watch Griselda.

I don't know what Griselda is. It's wild what the real Griselda looked like compared to the show. The show had the hot mom from... She was like the head of the the rival uh colombian gang to pablo escobar oh she was uh she could have been quarterback for the bears oh yes okay but my new i'm hooked on a boardwalk empire right now that one's been out forever right never watched it, yeah. Yeah.

Really good. There's nothing better than finding a show that's like out of the spoiler zone. Oh, yeah. And you can watch it. You just can't tell people you're watching it. Fuck. Oh, shit.

You're going to get DMs of like the final scene. Oh, shit. Just tell people not to do it. Nah, people are cool with you. That's fine. Yeah, people not to do it. Nah, people are cool with you. That's fine. Yeah, people really... Oh! What is it?

Oh, I'm going to retweet that. Sean Quigley. That's real. Wait, show Griselda in the real Griselda. I got to watch Griselda. Colombian drug gangs? Like, that's an automatic watch watch That doesn't do it for me I've never seen that

Narcos I guess those are the only two There's another one Uh Yeah Griselda Oh Slightly different vibes

Oh shit Yeah Yeah Yeah Are we allowed But she definitely talked chin or are we allowed to talk are we allowed are we allowed to yeah i think so she's dead right i thought at first glance she was a hardy boy she probably still fucked though if she was the boss of a big definitely oh for sure for sure love a little reverse yeah the ladies get to do the just be like you're gonna fuck me wait what yeah elaborate no i don't i don't like where i

was going there i think i did you like you like reverse rape is what you know i think that's still rape yeah i didn't mean that it's not where I was going. Yeah. Just breaking the glass ceiling. Women. You go, girl. We should get to rape. Yeah. As women. Like the platform.

Kate's platform for feminism. Thank God we don't have to dump the show every time that word slips out. Yeah. Because we said it a lot back in those days. It's all we said. Yeah, because we said it a lot back in those days. That's all we said. Yeah, we did. Yeah, our intro used to have it. It did.

Wait, really? Give me shelter. Oh, yeah. Is the word rape in that song? Rape. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, you actually did have it. That Rape. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, you actually are right.

It did happen. That was a daily thing, yeah. Fuck. You were joking. That's why I joined the show. I was like, yeah. Rape and murder. I'm in.

That's what got me hooked. All right, so we got to do a yak gauntlet presented by Long John Silver's. It's fried fish season. Enjoy wildcat, Alaska pollock, hand battered and fried to perfection at Long John Silver's. We have more than fish. This February 14th through March 30th, indulge in our $10 shrimp sea shares. Perfect sharing with loved ones or savor our $6 shrimp baskets. Popcorn shrimp, grilled grilled shrimp or battered dip

shrimp craving even more shrimp upgraded jumbo shrimp for a limited time order ahead skip the wait by ordering online at long john silvers and pick up in the restaurant get extra perks and discounts when you sign up at lj silvers.com offer valid at participating restaurants and discounts not valid for delivery orders let's's do something different. I was just about to say, would Long John Silvers be pissed off if we changed it up? Well, I was going to say, my idea was let's do some doubles matches. Yeah. We haven't done any doubles matches in a long time.

When we have two people go as the same team to see how fast they can go. Okay, I was going to say that, or like every person gets a throw to the station to see how fast they can go. Yeah, what if the rest of us Tried to as a team Beat Dan's record Ooh

We could do that I'd do the basketball Yeah Yeah we could do that Or something Yeah It's like a relay Yeah

Experimental Yeah let's do it Let's change it up I don't know Yeah Change it up Yeah full group You guys want to go

Full group against me Yeah Yeah Kyle which one do you want You've been sitting at the top For too long I'm not good at any of them Right Yeah, full group. You guys want to go full group against me? Yeah. Yeah. Kyle, which one do you want? You've been sitting at the top for too long. I'm not good at any of them. Right.

I can do baseball or... I can do cornhole or sporkle. I really... I don't want to shoot against Mal. Yeah, Cade does cornhole. I could maybe... Someone's got to do football. Someone's got to do football. I've gotten it. I'll do football. Mook, do you want cornhole or baseball? Someone's got to do football. Someone's got to do football. I've gotten it.

I'll do football. Mook, do you want cornhole or baseball? Someone's got to do soccer. Yeah. You want Che to do one? Che could do soccer. Che could do soccer. Take Che's soccer.

Okay. Then we all do a sporkle together. Worst of luck. Worst of luck. I saw him cornhole. I think. But does one person have to do the sporkle To make it

Fair Probably Yeah So do you want to do The sporkle Kyle Well who's left Kate right I suck at sporkle so hard

But I'll do it It doesn't matter to me That sounds like a bad idea Why doesn't Kate Can you do cornhole I can do cornhole Why doesn't Kate do cornhole We'll hand you the bags

So you don't have to Oh I'm going to love Watching you guys fail Yeah I can bend Oh fuck. Why doesn't Kate do Cornhole? We'll hand you the bags so you don't have to bend. Oh, I'm going to love watching you guys fail. Yeah. I can bend. Oh, fuck. You want me to do Squirgle? Or is that?

Yeah. TJ, you're going to do Squirgle. And you type for yourself. Oh, that. Okay. That's quite something. That's good. Yeah.

I like that. Should we have to pass the Long John Silver's hat, though, as a baton? I like that. Yes. I I like that I like that a lot Alright so TJ are you going to come out here to do the Sporkle And Zod types or are you just going to type yourself Can't you see the answers No not until I hit give up But he'll see the quiz question

Yeah you can't look at the quiz question before If we beat it with that style, would you say, no, it doesn't count? No matter what, he will. Well, it doesn't matter if you guys beat it

because as a group, I don't care. I don't think we will. If you don't care, then you'll cheer for us to beat it. Kyle, you do Sporkle. I will cheer.

I'll do Sporkle. Kyle, you do Sporkle. Can't see the screen. You want me to do Sporkle? You would be good at Sporkle. Maybe. You'd be the best, I think. I don't know about that.

What else are you doing? I was going to do cornhole or baseball. You could do baseball and Sporkle. Luke, what are you doing? Baseball. I'll do football. Luke, you guys still don't have soccer? Oh, Chase can do soccer?

Chase, cornhole. Chase, soccer. Okay, all right. There we go. Ask Chase if he can do soccer first. Chase. Chase, can you do soccer? We're doing a Okay, all right. There we go. Ask Jay if he can do soccer first. Jay, can you do soccer? We're doing a relay.

All right. Let's see if you guys can beat it. Oh, boy. I think I'm going to blow it. I'm nervous. Yeah, I don't want to be this anchor. If you guys don't beat my time, I... You're more athletic.

Yeah, it's going to be pathetic. You have the strength of six men. But our advantage isn't crazy. Not at all. It's stamina-based. No, but you also have Titus doing the shots. Okay, yeah, it is an advantage for sure. Nick doing Sporkle, which is good.

Mook is good at baseball. Yeah, it's an advantage. Yeah. We're also at the stations already. Yeah. Yeah, a huge advantage. Oh, but we have to pass the hat. You just have to drop the hat.

Okay. All right, so, Che, you're going to have to pick up the hat And drop it at the next station Oh, okay Who started? Me Alright, let's do it Okay You guys are fucked

Ha ha ha ha Nah Somebody's going to blow this Yup Most likely Che Kyle, are you going to go stand at baseball? Yeah, you got to stand at football. You got to stand at football.

Who do you think is going to blow this? Che. Yeah. Che for sure going to blow it. Say the order again. It's Kate to Che to Mook to Kyle to Titus to me

and then we have to run to each other to pass the hat I don't know how this time will be it should be low twos I I'd imagine. Yeah, I mean, you guys have to do well. I'm doing Sporkle. We're going against him. We're trying to beat his time.

Are you guys ready? Ready? Are you guys ready? The brace is off her back. TJ, you tell us when. No, you just have to drop the hat at the next person. Yeah, it's a baton. It's a baton. Yeah, you just drop it.

So, Titus, when you shoot and you shoot at the second one, you have to bring the hat with you and then bring it to Nick. You can't start until the hat's there. All right, of course. Everyone knows the rules. I'm just going to start. Can I start? Wait, no, no. No, you can't just start.

Okay. All right. Ready? Yeah. Three, two, one, go. Kate's going to blow this. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.

She's going to blow it. Yeah, she's got it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's over Oh no, she's gonna blow it. Oh no. Oh no. It's over. Help her get the bags, Steven. Uh oh, it's a real slow pendulum action. Help her get some bags.

Oh no. Oh no. It's over, guys. Oh heavens. Oh, it's over. Oh, shit. Kate was most obvious to blow this. Yeah.

Oh, this hurts me. Oh. All right, let's... All right, restart, restart, restart, restart. Restart, restart. You have no chance. The panic. You have no chance right now, so you got to restart. The whole point is to try to get a fast time.

That would have taken... So your time was a minute 30? Yeah, that would have been a minute 26. That was restart. Do you want the sporkle? No, you suck at sporkle too, Kate. Can I just cheer everybody on? There has to be something. Come on, Kate. Football?

Can I try one more time? Yeah, one more time. Do we usually do it from the goal? I don't know. No, it's back here, right? No, it more time. You're going to try one more time. Do we usually do it from the gold? I don't know. No, it's back here, right? No, it's somewhere. You could step up a little. I'm okay. Step up a little.

No, no, step up a little. We step up a little. Okay. All right. I got it. I feel like we normally do it. Okay. Okay.

I should be able to hand it to you. Yeah, yeah, you can hand it to her. Okay, thank you. All right. Just do one at a time. All right. Three, two, one, go. I have one more chance. I'm even. Uh-oh. All right. Three, two, one, go. Hold on.

One more chance. I'm even. Uh-oh. All right. It's never going to work. No, that looks good. Yes! All right.

Go, go, go. Come on, Jay. Oh, no. Someone help him get balls. One net, Steve. Oh, he kicked the other ball! You got it, you got it. Alright, Mook.

Oh, geez. Oh, man. You're still okay, because Titus should hit his shots right away. There we go. This is huge. KB. Huge. Oh. No!

Oh, he needed a first shot. I don't know if I like that technique. Yo, what a wild. No. No, no. You know that's not good, KB. And you were done in 30 seconds. Yes! Alright. Hat. Titus could be our saving grace. and you were done in 30 seconds. Yes. All right. Pat. Titus could be our saving grace.

Oh, no. Oh, no. No. Okay. He only brought one ball. Yes. Trivia. Swirkle.

Six performers at a half-time show Rap 50 Cent Oh, we lost Snoop Dogg Eminem Four NFL players Pass, rush, and receive a touchdown

Same game Nine NBA teams named after animals Bucks Mavericks Bulls Phil Lil Tommy Bricks. Bulls. Phil. Lil.

Tommy. Here we go. Chucky. Susie. I.E. I.E. I.E. Chucky I.E. Chucky I.E.

Susie. Fuck. Tough. 151. Tough. That was gutsy. I blew it. No, I blew it. I think I beat that time right now. Yeah was gutsy. I blew it. No, I beat it.

I think I beat that time right now. Yeah? No problem. No way. It's the one more. What was our issue? Everything. I'm going to go one more.

I don't want to point fingers. It was a team effort, but probably true. Yeah, I fucked up. I used to be very good at cornhole. I just need to practice. Nick, dude, me and you. You got to hit the first soccer shot. And you got to hit the cornhole.

You got to hit the cornhole. Like right away. Yes. That's tough. You have to do first baseball, first cornhole. Yeah. Everything first is ideal. Yes, yes, yes.

First soccer hole. I don't know why I'm giving strategy. My strategy is do it faster. I was way too slow. Yes, yes, yes. First soccer goal. I don't know why I'm giving strategy. My strategy is do it faster. I was way too slow. We got the Mike McDaniel of the gauntlet over here. Faster. Taking the one ball to the other side and nailing it.

That was ideal. That was gangster shit. Okay. Let's go Malicek. Damn, damn. Yeah, it's disappointing. I'm wearing jeans. Say that. I'm wearing jeans. He's wearing jeans.

Big Cat. Performance apparel. He's going to completely blunder this. I'm ready. I think this is going be a four minute performance. TJ, you got it? How is doing? All right.

Three, two, one, go. And that's a wrap. Thanks for coming out. What an idiot. Good game, Gale. Good game. Oh, boy. This might be ten minutes.

This is Jeff D. Lowe. Jeff D. Lowe. Oh, that's sad. Oh, this might be 10 minutes. This is Jeff D. Lowe. Jeff D. Lowe. Oh, that's sad. Oh, no. We got Spam Newton out here. 17 seconds for the cornhole. Uh-oh. Malice seconds.

He's getting better. Oh. Oh. Okay. Malicek! I'm sorry. He's getting better. That was out of anger. Gone. No. Oh! Barely missed. Still under a minute. Uh-oh. Oh.

Dude, during his run, he was already back in here. He didn't even pick it up. Oh man, that was way off. That was a Barstool Barstool missile. Just gave us a look that... This makes me feel better yeah i think we might beat him what was our time no no off the wall that was not no you're doing great sweetie he knows it wasn't Oh, it looked nice, but it did not go in. There we go. Yep.

GC could still do it. Rangers Giants Cardinals Knight of the Roxbury Jimmy Kimmel Adam Carolla Oh man Adam Carolla

Oh man Oh, man. I'm growing. You guys are not going to help me. Brazil. Argentina. Chile. Gotham. Fuck, I don't know. Nolan Ryan. Fuck, I don't know. Nolan Ryan.

Oh, man. Brutal. Fucking football. Brutal time. Jesus. Football fucked me. That is the most demoralizing thing, football. Football's the worst. Yep.

It's impossibly hard. Because even Malasek stopping the soccer is funny. So as he's stopping you, part of you is like, this is kind of funny. Oh, yeah, definitely. The football, not fun, not funny. No. Just extremely fucking frustrating. When he lays down, I laughed a little.

That's why it looks so easy, but clearly it's not. Shit. My time might be unbeatable. I think so. You have to get the football right away. You have to eat everything. I'm out of breath now. Someone else talk.

We have to beat his time at some point. I do want to go again. You set the time like two weeks into this. If we were to do it again, would we keep the same things, or how would we switch up our team? Some, I think, are dumb luck, like baseball and football. That could be anyone. Yeah.

We need a good soccer kicker. Nobody here is a soccer person. Cornel's pretty random. Titus at basketball. He can kick well. Who else? Titus basketball, Nick Sporkle. Strong points. Yeah, I don't know what we could do.

We could get Golke to do the basketball, which would shift me to something else. I'm way too out of breath. We should just recruit all ringers. Yeah. Cam Newton at football. Yeah, he'll kill that.

Yeah, he would have to. Are you allowed to throw? Can you throw the football as a rugby ball? Oh, yeah. If you can do that then I can hit it every single time claim oh it's ah give it a go it's incredible if you just want to There we go. You can rugby pass it. Not even close.

Not even close. He looked back at us like, yeah, we didn't see. He did. He did. He's like, they didn't see. Not even close. Every time. Blamed automatic every time.

He might never get it. Come on, Zod. Keep going, Zod. Keep going. Keep going, Zod. Zod, keep going. Keep going. What's he doing?

Oh, I'd get that every time. Every time. I thought he hacked the whole system. Oh, if we could do rugby passes. I didn't know we could do rugby passes. I kind of believed him for a second. I did too. I did totally. I thought he was just going to fucking knock them all down.

Like a western shooter. I'll be honest. I underestimated that distance. That's a long distance right there. It is longer than you think, yeah. What do you got there, Steven? Calculator. You just were calculating something.

It was that calculator. Don't worry about it. What do you mean? Suspicious math. You had like 9,000 zeros. I use the calculator feature a lot. You guys don't? What though?

But what were you just calculating? The amount of points the Sacramento Kings have given up with Keon Elson starting lineup. Oh, okay. Should have known that. Just doing my job.

Did you ever do a prop bit on Jonte Porter? I did. Am I allowed to like actually speak on that? Well, have you? No, I have not. Okay.

Nobody has. That's how he got caught. He was the only one. Yeah, no's it's like actually he's a backup center who like barely plays he did get a couple uh games i think he had 20 missing and i think he started a couple games but like betting a jonte porter under half a three-pointer that's probably going to be odds wise like minus 600 like i don't see how immediately that's not setting off red flags after it happens one time you know what i mean like that's that that isn't a bet that's not available on most books until maybe 30 minutes before tip got it

all right that whole thing's crazy what the josh reporter stuff. What's he fixing his own lies? He's betting on himself. He should just leave the game. Like sickness or eye? Eye. Eye. Well, he got hit in the neck, and then he's just like, oh, my eye. Like a lingering, yeah. Is Shohei doing that?

No, I actually believe Shohei. Is that crazy? I don't know. Why would he need to do that? And also, they'll be able to figure out if he's lying or not his his premise is that he was like the guy was literally just stealing money from him i'm sure there's forensic accounting to figure out if that was oh for sure yeah yeah and it does sound like this guy was deeply deeply embedded in his life that he had full access to all his accounts.

Yeah, he said that he's on the record. The guy, like, a year ago or so, he did an interview. He's like, translating is only 10% of my job. So the other 90 is just stealing money. Like his fixer, but he was getting fucked by his fixer. Has the translator spoken out? I don't think so. I think he's in deep, deep water.

Damn. I guess I don't know anything about Shohei's personality. We were talking about, yeah, he keeps it really, really. I was really hoping he would just do that interview yesterday, just spoke complete, perfect English. Perfect English. It would have been awesome. I heard you guys wanted to hear from me.

Hello. It's me, Shohei. I'm sorry I've been mum for so long alright so we gotta spin our wheel our real wheel now this feels good what if it lands on wet huh I'm kind of hoping for part eliminator oh my god oh yeah

oh no Gucci we're all the way back Fuck yes Alright everyone please subscribe Subscribe to the show What are our subscribers at?

Like 145 or something 44 Let's just keep boosting it up When is case race happening? Royal Rumble? We got to get a date. Yeah. TJ, I think, was working on that. We said maybe the week of the draft, right?

Because of Roan? The 22nd of April. Okay. Was the plan, maybe? It's contingent on guests and stuff. That Monday? Okay. I know Mangold said he'd come in no matter what.

My boy Zach's been texting me. He wants in? Giddy. Giddy. He's so good looking. I know. I think he would be great to have on your team, and you'd have to look at him as you're getting sloppily drunk

and just be like. I'd fuck him. You'd have to fuck him. You'd have to fuck him. You'd have to fuck him. Without even drinking a beer. Big Cat, you've had zero beers. I want to remember this.

All right. See everyone tomorrow. It's your straw jack style of tape for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. See you tomorrow. Bye.