The Yak - The Wheel Gets CraZZZy on Alphabet Day | The Yak 3-19-24

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Hello. It's the Yak. Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-slips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

I'm wearing the joggers right now. That is all I wear. It is Roback.com. It is promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Hello, everyone. Brandon is out. Titus is here.

We were just finishing up PMT with Titus. He will be here in a second. Today is a very important day. Oh. Today is Pete Gauntlet day. Wow, he agreed? We got him? I think he's agreed.

He didn't agree. He kind of agreed. We did it, Joe. He kind of agreed. He was like, yes, I think I's agreed. He didn't agree. He kind of agreed. We did it, Joe. He kind of agreed. He was like, yes, I think I'll do it. TJ got video of him shooting not that bad. One went in? Yeah, so I'm trying to boost him up and be like, hey, dude, come on.

You can do this. He launched a bank three. Yeah, he can do this. He's got a chance. We got to let him do this. Are you wearing Virginia today because they're playing? Malisak's passing it around. Oh, he's giving out Virginia gear? Yeah, he kind of backed me into a corner. Like, if you're gonna offer me

free swag, I'm gonna take it, but I'm not necessarily gonna root for Virginia. Yeah. Right? I don't know. Is there something? Oh, he is really passing it around. Holy shit. i don't know what it is about malicek i like him a lot but i also don't i it's perfect isn't it right yeah it's like he's a nice guy there's never been a thing that he's done that's made me be like fuck this guy his

essence doesn't match his appearance he He's a very simple boy. Right. He likes UVA. Right. And he likes, Fuckin' his dog. Zoophilia, yeah. Yeah.

Zoophilia. And simplicity is the glory of expression. So I respect him. Are you getting philosophical with this? When everybody else said no to me to come to the box in New York City, Malasek was there and he watched me, he watched a guy staple his dick to his torso

with me. With a smile on his face. Big. That's something you never forget. Yeah. So, you know, we went to war together. He had something about him. I don't know what it is. He just, he kind of bothered. Even he'll like say like, he'll like say nice things and I'm like, stop.

He'd be a lot more liked if he didn't talk. Yeah, or if he fucked chicks yeah he's a good looking dude that guitar playing yeah like he would be a good like if he was nikki smokes i think i'd like him more that's what i'm saying yeah essence doesn't match what he looks right you're right you expect something else so you if he he embraced what's inside of him, you're saying. Right. He's a hot dude who went to UVA. Yeah. He should be a douchebag.

Right. Yeah. Right. That's what, yeah. Are UVA grads douchebags? Oh, yeah. I think so. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Big time. He's not, though, which I still can't get over. I think they're in that group, like Michigan, Stanford, UVA, Duke, being like we're kind of Ivy League school. Yeah. They might be the douchiest. Yeah? The non-Ivy League schools that say we're kind of the Ivy of –

The Midwest or the South. Yeah, that's as – Yeah, we work hard, but we also party hard. That's what they love. Yeah, those people never party hard that's what they loved yeah those people never party hard no no no they always just like they're like sitting around a ping pong table in a bean bag chair drinking a beer do they play like lawn basketball yeah yeah it's a way worse form of regular basketball that might be the worst saying like when when someone says that, like our culture at this company is we work hard, but we also party hard.

I think that's the biggest turn off ever. Yeah, you got to get the fuck out of there. Because then you pull the baggie out of your pocket at happy hour and you lose your job. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's like it's the office that has the ping pong and they're like, yeah, they actually have free beer starting at four o'clock on Friday. The shittiest jobs in the world would pay hundred dollars for a ping pong table yeah yeah yeah also in those settings nobody wants to get fucked up with their co-workers right the last thing you want to do on a friday happy hour with their friends yeah there's always one guy though that's like wants to just hang out with

only his co-workers that might be the worst guy in the world. Worst. I'm trying to think. Yeah, I've never experienced this guy, but. I know a few of those guys. I guess I'm really honest. Some people, yeah. Some people came alive in the workplace. That was their only time to feel like they mattered. Yeah. Shit.

Shit, Casey. Shout out working moms. We're getting deep right now. Work hard, party hard. We play hard. Yeah, either that or it's like a scam i feel like billy mcfarland said that a lot yeah well you never hear any other iteration there's never we work hard we party just a little bit yeah we don't work that hard but we fucking rage yeah we rage our faces off we we're kind of even keeled at company. We work a reasonable amount. We party a reasonable amount.

It's a good balance. Yeah, moderation is the key to life. That's what we do here. There's never another iteration. We never get too drunk. We're the four to six beer company. I had a job like 12 years ago that was on the recruiting call. They said it was a work hard, play hard.

And it was great. I actually made a lot of great friends there. He's the guy. That's the the guy he thrived at that place i did i did yeah you were probably popular this is this is the reminder man that's the reminder that steven shave the way he found out about barstool sports was i i went on mike and mike for 10 minutes when i was doing the hot dog eating competition that's how he found bar little sports we had existed for a very long time but mike and mike was his entry point he is steven shay is is the prototypical just like office guy let me ask chay in your previous jobs would anyone ever like allude to you being like a little bit weird oh good question i don't think so i mean people didn't really know

yeah i didn't really get into like uh confrontations or anything at work or or like that i was pretty even keeled were any of you guys the cool or funny guy at the old job i was uh the vibes guy okay i was the young guy either i was never the funny or cool guy yeah i was young guy as well yeah funny cool guy funny guy at the job usually isn't the funny or cool guy Yeah I was young guy as well Yeah funny cool guy Funny guy at the job usually isn't the funny guy No yeah And it's also he doesn't get promoted There's different

The funny guy? Yeah Yeah the funny guy never gets taken seriously Yeah he gets stuck in the same role Yeah Yeah Cause he's like it's okay if you're the funny young guy But then when you're the funny middle aged guy

Never You're kind of the You're almost always the miserable guy too you're the funny young guy, but then when you're the funny middle-aged guy. Never. You're almost always the miserable guy, too. You're the guy that you're funny almost because you're shitting on other people. It's like a coping mechanism. Yeah. You're shielding yourself from the reality of your life. Damn. Wow, we are getting close.

Holy shit, damn. I was a 30-year- old veteran in an entry-level position at comedy central so all the other interns and like they were all like fresh out of college and i didn't get asked out to the bars a lot that's fine i'll go home to my husband yeah oh yeah oh yeah you were married did you ever run into uh adam Driver in the Middle East? No, never saw him. Geraldo, though. Adam Driver was... He was, yeah, I think.

He was? He did not deploy, though. I don't think. What? I don't think. That's crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah.

He did like two years and then something with his back or something like that. He hurt himself. Pussy. Adam Driver's one of those guys that I feel like girls lust for him, but he's not that attractive. He hurt himself. Pussy. Adam Driver's one of those guys that, like, I feel like girls lust for him, but he's not that attractive. Some say ugly. Right. He is ugly.

His Marine picture's tough. Oh, his Marine picture is borderline, you know, high school shooter. I mean, is that ugly as sin? Yeah. That is insane. That's him? Yeah. Holy shit.

That is very bad. Oh. Look at those ears. That's why he grew his hair out, right? That's probably why they didn't deploy him. They're like, dude, they'll see your ears. Shoot them right off. He's a long-haired guy that doesn't tuck behind the ears, too.

He does tuck, doesn't he? He does? Maybe it's an illusion, though. Maybe it looks like the hair is making the ears pop out. Is he going for, like, John Wick? What's he looking for now? Oh, yeah, I guess he is over here. You're right, he's over here.

Yeah, he's not a tuck guy. But then he became kind of hot. Is it just a good body? But he's not. I can't tell if his head is tiny or large. Got a little volume in there. He's handsome. Yeah, he is.

He has strong features. Look at his body, guys. Come on. And a deep voice. Being in shape helps. Being in shape does it all. He's a. Yeah, he is. He has strong features. Look at his body, guys. Come on. And a deep voice. Being in shape helps. He's got those gooders. Being in shape does it all. He's a hot guy.

And then he got rich, and that helps. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a mysterious look to him. And that look, too, for us normie girls, we're like, that might be attainable for me. Yeah. That might be it. You know, it helps you dream. Yeah.

So obtainable hot is better than being like a Montana boy hot? For me, yes. I bet you for most. Yeah. I think it, yeah. Shoot for Titus down with Mook. I mean, those Montana boys. That's the dream.

I'm sticking with them. You dreamt about them? No, I didn't dream about them, but I was just. What do they have up their sleeve? The most Montana boys, man. What is it, first one to touch one? You're my most obtainable homie. Me?

Yeah. Anybody could have you. Yes. That's a fact, yeah. If you want me, just shoot me a DM. Hit me up. Number one most obtainable at Barstool. Yeah.

Yeah. Chicago's most obtainable. Yeah. I'm not the most wanted. No. I'm just the easiest lead. Always available. Accessible.

You need a guy to grab a beer with on Thursday and everyone else is busy. That's a great friend to have. Yeah. Always around. Oh, we got to do the name wheel.

I forgot. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We owe the name wheel. Jesus. Which will be interesting. I'll call my aunt again. Yeah.

Oh, we have to go to sleep. We have to go to sleep. Have to go to sleep? One of us has to just go to sleep. That's right. Yeah, I mean. Oh, my God. I'll do it.

I drank a lot of coffee this morning. Wait, did I change it to you? Your official description was one hour nap. If you don't fall asleep, you have to show butt. Okay. I said that. Yes. So one of us will just have to lay back there until they fall asleep.

Yeah. Back where? Just in the corner. Back there, yeah. Yeah, let's spin it. I will fall asleep. I just host myself with caffeine. Yeah, me too.

I'll still be able to fall asleep. No chance host myself with caffeine. Yeah, me too. I'll still be able to fall asleep. No chance. That would actually be wildly impressive if anyone could. No faking. Oh.

Yeah, it could be done. Is this Eliminator? Okay. Yeah, I mean, this works out for me. Okay. So make yourself

like a little nest. Yeah, everybody can give us pillows. Yeah, you can get pillows. I think Rico's works out for me. Okay. So make yourself like a little nest. Yeah, everybody can give us pillows. Yeah, you can get pillows. I think Rico's blanket's in the gambling cave. Yeah, grab some. Yeah, grab some. You want like a fan or any white noise?

Yeah, you can do white noise. Any ASMR of that guy making the sandwich? Titus is going to fall asleep. What a name wheel. Yeah. It's quite something. I thought I had something else. I think that was placeholder, but whatever.

We should spin our regular wheel right now just because it's so bad. Yeah, get it out of the way. Just get it out of the way. We need wheel reset. We need wheel reset so fucking bad. Could we double up on name right now? Sure. And we just might.

All right. Name wheel it again. Somebody has to have some tomorrow. No, let's wheel it again name wheel it again no let's spin it again god damn it so if you don't fall asleep in an hour you have to show butt you have to show butt

nah call your aunt no no that's just for someone has to call it. Yeah, right. Wait, is that the same thing? Let's not do it again. We just did it for the fans.

We got to do something different. It's only a one-time thing. Spin it again, TJ. For the people at home, I can't call them fans because they hate me, but call your aunt and check in, okay? Yeah, was she appreciative on here? Oh, no, TJ, what do you have? Alphabet challenge.

Oh. Yes, I love all varieties of this. Two people have to race to assemble items that start with the most letters of the alphabet. You have five minutes to assemble the items that start with the most letters in the alphabet. The winner gets $100

worth of a product that starts with one random letter of the alphabet. The winner gets $100 worth of a product that starts with one random letter of the alphabet. Okay, so are we... We have to build something, or we just have to collect? You have five minutes. You're trying to collect items that start with every letter of the alphabet. Does it have to be in order?

Oh, I love this. No. Yeah. It's got to be in order, right? Yeah, you got to put them out on the court, and then you'll say what... Yeah, I love this. Put them in this room,

and then you'll say what each item is, and then we'll judge whether that counts or not. For example, if you did like a can of soda and you went with the name brand of the soda, we'd be like, sure. But if you went with a can of soda and you try to put that as like metal or liquid or something for an L or an M, then we may vote against it. Okay. I love that. Whoever has the more letters in five minutes

will spin a wheel of letters, and then I'll buy you $100 worth of something of that letter. I like that a lot. Do we have a camera that can get Titus? He's right there in that crack. There he is. Perfect. Perfect.

Yeah, and we'll be able to tell if he's faking it. Titus, do you want a Ser you Rainbow Fish or Stinky Cheese Man? I'm okay. Okay. Okay. All right, so I think TJ, so it's two of us, right? Yeah. I think what we should do is whoever two gets decided,

we play rock, paper, scissors, shoot, someone has to go first, and the other person should have to go into an isolation chamber because then it would be... Yeah, so they can't chase and they also can't get the suggestions like that's money and family feud right right exactly we're just gonna end up with no one on the show yeah i guess so okay uh all right so let's see who plays alpha i like this game okay so i put five minutes on the clock because as soon as it lands on your name, the first person will stop. Oh, shit. Wait.

I think Titus is asleep. Wait, no, but when we get the... Oh, wait. Are we going to decide the two people though right now so you put someone away? Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. So we'll decide the two people, then we'll decide who goes first. The other person has to go sit in one of the studios or something for five minutes while the other person goes and collects.

That make sense? Yeah, I love it. Okay. Do you want to play? I would love to play. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can't see it? Nick.

All right, all right. All right. Who is Nick going up against? Nick's going to be good at this game. I'm going to be the best. I'm going to be the freaking best Kate oh Kate go to Jay okay I'll take the

dub I could assist Kate are you gonna be okay can I have an assistant yes can Mook be my assistant yes it might make you worse but I got you okay I love pointing at things and saying but they both have to go to isolation then yeah yeah you both have to go to isolation then? Yeah. Yeah.

You both have to go to isolation right now. Right now? Yeah. Okay. And then Nick will go, so just be me. Do I have to go? Do I have to go? Fucking Titus is asleep.

We're just fucking... Survivor yak. TJ, do I have to go in order? No, you just have to get everything you can and bring the back here and put it out in the middle They gotta be in this room You can't do like court and point at the court

You have to be able to put a floor in the room So where is he gonna put it all in the middle of the room? Right here? Okay and then you come back and we'll vote on it No like adjectives no no i would never i would never yeah i knew you wouldn't are you ready i don't know i don't know which

direction you go i think i'm just gonna start grabbing shit yeah and bringing it back yeah but you have to go in order no i kind of like that the worst part is i think that would make it more organized and easy to follow the worst part is that- I think that would make it more organized and easy to follow. The worst part is that you have to then put all the stuff back. Yeah. That's like a fucking old school chore. Yeah. Clean up time.

That's like a fucking chore. Yeah, that's a fucking chore, bro. You got to do a chore. I have to do a fucking chore. Titus. Look at Titus. He's sleeping. I don't even know how to I believe that he is I would never be able to fall asleep in the middle of the day like that no Titus he's he's definitely asleep

he's doing it you can't fake that can't not like that he's not even moving Oh, long day at work, Mark. Dave's going to hate this. Okay. In order or no? No, I think you just collect. You want to do yes? Because if he's just doing random letters, it's going to be impossible to follow. But then he's going to put it all in order at the end.

All right, so I think you can get random, but it has to be in order by the time the time stops. Okay. So I have to get... So you can collect whatever you want right now, but by the time the time is up, it needs to be in order and we go down the order. Okay.

Okay, are you ready? Yeah, I think so. All right. Three, two, one, go. Okay, whoa. He's just staying in here. He's got the B and the C. Yeah, but the B is basketball, right?

That's so easy. Oh, he's got to describe to us what they are. He's got a box and a cushion. He's going to the kitchen. I don't know how I would attack this because I'm not really great at the alphabet. This is already confusing me how I would too. Yeah. I think you just grab as much shit as you can

and then try to put it around. Yeah. What's up, KB? Oh, yeah. Thanks. What's up? What's up? I was just saying what's up.

It's just two of us now. Do you still get excited as days pass for March Madness? Oh, my God. Just as excited? My favorite two days of the entire calendar. Favorite two days? Two days. Thursday, Friday.

Favorite two days. The first two. Favorite two days of the entire calendar. For me, too. Because then, plus wrestling. I like, there's nothing better. Who could forget wrestling? Okay, he's got a bunch of items.

One minute down. Remember, you don't have to order it until time is up. Looks like he might be doing it in order right now. Okay, he's got B, C. Will you be watching all the games? Not all the games, but the fact that they're playing brings joy to me. Exactly. I mean, you're a vibes guy.

Are you going to go to a bar? Oh, my God. I will. I'll go to a bar, get an espresso martini. This is a mistake. He's trying to bring the whole net in here. I didn't know Nick was that strong. I don't think he is.

He's not. Oh, yeah. He gave up on the net. That's going to cost him. There's got to be tinier ends. Yeah. He gave up on the net. That's going to cost him. There's got to be tinier ends. Yeah. By the way, we were brought to you by our friends at Game Time. Game Time, did you know that you can get tickets to Cubs opening day right now

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Terms apply, download for GameTime app today Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed You know what I would do? I think I would go to Like the PMT studio like the pmt studio or the studio i feel like there's a lot of knickknacks oh i thought you're gonna say to watch the game oh no i would also do that oh you like a little solo uh just sitting in someone in someone else pirate water in a studio but you do like to do that well i need to be on my phone

i like to see the results in text form right and follow them and get live updates you do also like to be in places that are like whoa why is kyle here yeah like if i just walk into the pmt studio and you're just set up shot i'd be like oh uh-huh but it also makes sense i like to crave solitude i like to hide all right let him know his time you have 145 left 145 left in order by the time it's got to be in order by the time. It's got to be in order by the time. Oh, all right. So now it's just me.

I'm just yakking on my own. Kyle's standing there. You have 130 left. 130 left. He's running around. My hair looks like shit. I don't know if I'm going bald. People say I am, but I feel like I've had the same

hair for a long time it does make me nervous what's the update on the Lawrence Funk negotiations I think you're set at your age you're like fine my grandfather on my mom's side who died right before I was born died with a full head of hair

I think that's what it is right maternal grandfather so I think that's what it is, right? Maternal grandfather. Yeah, yeah. Maternal grandfather, yeah. Yeah, so I think I'm set. One minute. He's going around. What were you going to say? Lawrence Funk?

We got to figure it out. That was so funny yesterday that Pat Bev was just like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? But I like Lawrence Funk. I'd like to get funked up. We also got a picture of Lawrence Funk, the Funkmobile,ed in the handicap parking spot

Can we show that? Yeah What a character So great Just like Coming to someone else's office And being like Handicap parking?

No problem Oh That one's interesting Let him know he has 30 seconds To get it in order 27 seconds To get it in order I think he's been doing it in order

Does he have an A? I don't know. I'm sure he has an A. He must have an A. Give her one. Yeah. Oh, no, I don't. It's upstairs.

You want my white sock? There's stuff here. Do you want one of these? There's this shit. Oh. I don't know if you need it. Six, five, four, three, two, one. And time.

Hands off. Okay, Nick. Sit down and let us know. Sure. Okay. B, box, C, cushion. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Go slow.

B, box, C, cushion. Diet, wait, wait, wait. Go slow. B, box, C, cushion. Diet Coke. Extinguisher. Extinguisher. Goalie stick. Goalie stick. We got a fork. Oh, you got a fork.

EFG. Okay. Hat. Yep. Ice. Yep. Jägermeister. Yep.

Kyle. Yep. Ladder. Ladder. And then net, but I don't have an M. I think that counts, though. A? No A.

No A? Air tags were right here. Didn't know they were. Damn. Didn't know they were. They were literally right here. Vape was also right here. There's cream pies, oatmeal cream pies.

There's a truck. Yeah, I should have just started grabbing things instead of pirate hat. I thought it would be easier for organization. Yeah, we were saying that the key to this game is actually just go into someone's studio and grab knickknacks. Like mostly sports or PMT or anus. Alright, so how many are we giving

him credit for, TJ? Box one, cushion two, die coke three, fire extinguisher four, goalie stick, fire extinguisher. Yeah, that counts. You can't have fire extinguisher and fork. Oh, yeah.

Extinguisher is what you're trying to go for? Yeah. Vote on it. I think it's a no. No, I think that's fair. I think it's a fire extinguisher. That's what it is. But it's a...

I mean, I would say you could extinguish other things. All right, well, it's only the two of us voting, so now we're fine. Shit, yeah. All right, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. One game. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. One game. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Okay, that's enough. Fair enough,

yeah. You lost. I'll do fire extinguisher then eatware. Eating utensil. Okay, so how many? I'll do fire extinguisher and then utensil. Oh, okay, that counts. Okay, cool. I'll take that. One, two, three, four, five, Well, no, no. I'll just do fire extinguisher and then utensil. Oh, okay. That counts. Okay, cool.

I'll take that. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Kyle? Yeah. Nine, ten, eleven. Eleven? Not great. That sounds right.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. You got twelve. Twelve points for Nick. Okay, twelve points for Nick. Now that that's final. I don't know. Now it's your chore. 12 points for Nick. Okay, 12 points for Nick. Now that that's final.

I don't know. Now it's your chore. I would have given you TV because it was in order right there on the floor already. I would have given you that, but you didn't ask for it. Okay, now the chore portion of this. Nick is going to... I'm good. I don't need the diet coke.

Yeah. Get that away from me. I think he kind of Diet Coke. Yeah. Get that away from me. I think he kind of did bad. Yeah. I think he did bad. But it probably takes a while to actually think up a good strategy. Yeah. And you don't want to stop and think.

That's a fun game, TJ. Thanks. Yeah, that was very fun. Yeah, this is going to blow up. Yeah, people are going to be doing this left and right. I feel like I could get every single letter. No offense to Nick, but he sucked at that game. He was oddly bad.

Yeah. Steven, how are you feeling about March Madness? Are you going to be doing props? I will be doing props. There has been some pushback because they're legal in they're not legal in all states that gambling is legal so i'm gonna work to figure that out uh the best way to do it but i should have props for most games or for most days rather not games i look forward to you losing and then making fun of you for it. I hope not.

That will be a highlight of my March Madness, even though I'm going to lose everything. What else do we have? What did you put on the prep sheet, Steven? I got a fun trivia question on there. Oh, okay. Give it to us. It's on there. How long do you guys think the how long do you think the great wall of china is oh

2 000 miles i was gonna go much less but it is long it's fucking long and it winds and it goes everywhere did it really work did they keep people out i don't out? I don't know the history of it at all. At all? No. Where's Donnie? Let's get Donnie in here. Donnie can tell us. How long is it, Steven?

800. 800 what? Miles? Oh, now that you say that. Yeah, miles. Kilometers. 13,171 miles. Jesus.

What? Yeah. 13,000? Yes. Holy fuck. Over 21,000. Oh, does it, like, bend like an intestine or something? Yeah, is it like the number one state coastline is like Maine?

That ain't true. Yeah, it is. Want to bet? Isn't it Alaska? Over Alaska? I might be wrong. And I'll take it if I'm wrong. Shit.

Not even top three. Is it second? You're thinking of Maine. Wow, I was wrong. Yeah, you're thinking of some other ship I was Maine top is nine I thought because it went in and out a bunch

Shit Maine's closest to Africa Is that true? Yeah How? Well it juts out the farthest east But isn't it too far north? No

Let me see a map real quick. I'm really bad with maps. Let me see this map. How is Maine the closest to Africa? Holy shit! Well, I'll be. That's a

crazy stat right there I would have definitely said like South Carolina or something yeah I think Maine might also ironically be the whitest state is it? I'm looking at it and I think it's like a 94% white state

did you know that Maine's the closest state to Africa? no I didn't Donnie come in here we need some great wall of china uh stats i'm such an idiot i found i could have grabbed a deck of cards gone cards you could have done i think the strategy is a blindly grab ship and then just put it together afterward oh west virginia oh wow yeah wow. I saw a stat yesterday. Someone tweeted out the richest metropolises in 1949,

and it was like Detroit, Cleveland. Oh, yeah. But then someone underneath it said that Wheeling, West Virginia, was like a top 50 metropolis in the coal era. Yeah, you should see pictures of our downtown like hopping then can we see that in the 40s 50s uh donnie we were talking about the great wall of china how far how long do you think it is we were way off i'm not really a numbers guy um it is what did you guess or i guess 800 800 miles yeah i guess 2 000 no no i guess 2 000 miles

okay maybe yes 800 2 000 miles it sounds like a decent guess but i'm gonna go is it like um is it like 7 000 miles what is it 13 000 13 000 that was a good guess it's not all one continuous stretch though right is it like pieces? Is it staggered? It was built in pieces. Okay. I know there's like part of it that just goes into the ocean, which is a very cool area. So wait, you've obviously walked a big portion of it.

It's 13,000 miles, Steven? No, like a big portion. 13.1,000 miles, yeah. I actually pooped off the Great Wall of China once. Okay, that's why we have you here. Just once? Off it? Yeah. So I like camped out on the wall one night with like friends.

They were like, all right, we're going to have a taxi driver drop us off and pick us up in the morning. And we're going to walk to an area where there's no tourists. That's like pretty much abandoned. And then, um, I don't even know if we had like sleeping bags. We kind of just, uh, posted up in one of the watchtowers and then, don't even know if we had like sleeping bags. We kind of just posted up in one of the watchtowers. Oh, shit. Yeah, and just slept there.

And then in the morning we like saw some guards, so we freaked out and ran away. But didn't get in trouble. Beautiful place to post up for the night. Did the Great Wall of China work? No. Like I think it worked for a while, but I know that China was taken over after it was built. Got it.

There were invasions. But, I mean, it's cool. It lives up to the hype. It does. I want to see it. What it looks like or what the activities you can do around it what it looks like and then they they have like a slide that um so you take a slide on the great wall of china yeah it's a very fun slide so you take a chairlift up to the top and then you kind of like walk along

the wall and then to get down from the wall they had had this, like, long-ass toboggan slide. And, like, I was on it with friends, and we were fooling around. I think at one point they just braked in the middle, and so I came, like, cruising around the corner and just smashed into them. It's actually on camera if you guys want to watch it. Oh, I do want to watch it. Yes, please. Yeah, search Donnie Does JV Football Reunion. Of course.

Yeah. Yeah. We never played the Billy Crying clip on the app. No, we did when you played it. Oh, shit. Of course, that will always play. I mean, do we have the finale is coming out? No, that was already happened.

So that was the first game, but we have three more vids that are coming down the pipeline soon. I think I might drop the first one next week, and that's about our second trip to Africa. Then there's one more game. That crying clip is one of the funniest clips. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Oh, yeah. It's a very dangerous slide.

It's dangerous. Actually, when Francis came to visit, I took him on the slide, too. Oh, yeah. When I went on the slide with Francis, I'm heading down the slide, and there's a goat that crosses right in front of me. I almost just slammed into a goat. Oh, this is a sick slide. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. You can pick up a lot of speed on that thing. It was very scary when i did a mountain coaster are you you're are you going back to china possibly yeah so i was heading out to hong kong to go to hong kong sevens yeah it's kind of like the last one in the stadium that they've been doing it for a long time so i think

it's going to be a big one um and then i was like while i'm out there i might as well try to revisit shanghai because i haven't been back since i came home for the holidays in 2019 and then covid broke out there it spread here and then they just closed the borders yeah so donnie pulled me aside in a very donnie way was just like hey i, I'm trying to get the visa for China. And I, I put down still blue coffee is my employer. I were like, oh, you need to get a journalist visa. He didn't get that. So I was like, I'm just not even going to mention Barstool Sports. You're going over to sell coffee. Since we're here, Big Cat, I did the same thing, by the way.

What? Wait, you used Stella Blue Coffee? No, no. I put him as a reference. I was meant to tell you, but I completely forgot. Yeah, what if I had gotten a call? I would have thought on my feed. Dude, Stella Blue has to be on like a dartboard somewhere.

Yeah. CIA headquarters. I'm fine with it being the shell company for all of us. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, just like anything you guys want to sign up for. I think I said I was the chief marketing officer. Done. Okay.

Done. Let's go. No problem. Yeah, you guys can all, you can just appoint yourself whatever you want. Just be vice president of coffee. Quality control. Are there any coffee connoisseurs who only know you as, for your coffee? I don't think so.

That would be funny though. Coffee reviewers on TikTok. I did do a video with a coffee guy in Williamsburg that was like a French coffee guy that was awesome. He just lives coffee. I know there are guys. Yeah, they rock. I don't have a palate for that.

Do you have Stella Blue whole bean yet? Yeah. I might need to nab some. Yeah, since the beginning, bro. I didn't know. I just thought you had ground. No, we have everything. Except espresso, which we are going to get. Espresso beans. Alright, you guys ready to go?

Donnie, you can hang out. Brandon's out today, and Titus is taking a nap. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Love to have you hang out. Okay. All right, so Nick got 13?

12. 12. 12? 12. And it has to go in the room. So here's the rule. Yeah, when the five minutes are up, it's hands up, but it has to already be in order.

So you don't have to pick in order, but you have to have it in order for when it's done. Okay. All right. And we'll just yak while you guys do it. Okay. All right. Ready, set, go. Well, Kate has to tell you what to get.

I have no idea. Yeah, Kate has to tell you. All right. Grab some good apparel over there. We're doing the alphabet game. They have to come up with as many items that are in the alphabet. Okay. In five minutes.

Yep. All right, I like that. Oh, God. Ooh. Oh, man, they're crushing your neck. Or the roebuck dog. Does that peel off? Is it a magnet?

Or is it? This is Nick. Nick did a very bad job. I did a really bad job. And I thought you'd be great at this Yeah, I'm riddled with OCD and had to go in order Yeah They're going in order too, they got apparel, bucket

The goalie net thing A cap That was a disaster Yeah, it was a nightmare The soccer net Well we're not following the wheel, it should just be Kate doing this This is so fucked up. I'm pissed.

It's true. It's true. Embarrassed on the internet. You're not going to get your $100 gift card. I really want one. Sweet. So you're going to go to Hong Kong and then China? Yeah, we're going to go back to Shanghai.

I still know a couple people there. And I think the Shanghai Sharks are going to be in the playoffs. Ooh. Yeah, maybe. I'll catch a game. The original Donovan video. Do you think the rules are as lax as when you were there previously? I've heard the city just isn't as much fun.

Okay. Like, probably, like, 80% of the foreigners left over COVID. Oh, my God. Because there's a – I'm not really raging. I've always assumed that it's, like, when you were there, like, there's just a very big community of expats, right? Yeah, there was when I was there.

But, yeah, like almost every single person I knew left. Do you get an itch when you don't travel for a certain amount of time? I mean, when I did those two trips to Africa in two months, I was like, I need to not travel for a while. Well, you also had your honeymoon in between. Yeah, and then I had, I need to not travel. Yeah. Well, you also had your honeymoon in between. Yeah. And then, yeah. And then I had to go straight to the honeymoon. So it's been great just being here in Chicago the last few months.

Yeah. But I always was curious, like someone like you, because like I'm, I'm a homebody. So I don't, even when I'm like going on vacation, which should be something I look forward to, I dread it. Okay. No, I definitely don't dread traveling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're good in all those situations. I wish I had it. I, I definitely don't dread traveling. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you're good in all those situations. I wish I had it. I wish I had the travel itch. And Nick is leaving the country again. Yeah, when are you going? That's exciting. 13 days. In 13 days?

In 13 days. Coming up. What's the dates again? The 2nd to the 9th. 2nd to the 9th. Oh, that's going to be awesome. Yeah, I'm excited. I haven't really done a vacation.'s gonna be ever kb though is like you have let white socks dave and nikki smokes get a passport before you yeah he he's elvis elvis or i just think he

actually has like a felony charge yeah he's elvis's managers i should say yeah okay yeah that's better that That's more apt. Oh, yeah, I totally forgot that Elvis wasn't able to do shows abroad. Well, no, he could, but his manager was like, killed a person in like Holland in his previous life, and then he illegally immigrated to the U.S., and he never got like, he never became a real citizen, I believe. So he always was like, Elvis, you don't want to go to Japan.

Yeah. Like, it's bad stuff there. And he basically, like, stuffed him with opioids and put him in residency. Yeah. Elvis kind of was, the guy said he was from Huntington, West Virginia, I think. Yeah. But he had, like, a Dutch accent. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the cap, the colonel? Colonel? Maybe. What was the guy's name? You got one minute, one and a Dutch accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the cap, the colonel? Colonel? What was the guy's name? You got one minute, one and a half minutes. I already lost if they want to throw it out. Elvis also, like, I remember he kind of like talked some shit on the Beatles

because he was like, they're promoting drugs like weed and acid and like I'm not down with drugs. But then meanwhile, he was taking like speed every day and then Benzo's to go to bed. Well, he was not down with like uh drugs that are natural yes weed yeah he was he was down for drugs you could get at a pharmacy right because that's a doctor giving it to you very very different yeah they crush you nick this was a fucking route and there's some votes on the table that yeah let's not let's be real strict I think Titus is actually asleep now

I think he is I think he actually fell asleep Should we try to scare him I have the clock he's getting up at like 1.15 Yeah but the rule was he just had to fall asleep That's true That's very impressive Yell Mark

Mark Oh Oh so that's very impressive yo mark see if he mark oh oh did you fall asleep no no he was wide fucking he was the most awake man get back to sleep huh Huh? Huh? Why'd you wake me up? 12 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Okay, what do we got? In order. Thank you, Mook. Huge shout out to Mook. All right.

All right. Start it off. No. Sweatshirt. All right. All right. Start it off. A, apparel. No. Apparel. Sweatshirt. A, apparel. No. What?

That's too broad of a term. Just so you know, Nick tried to do fire extinguisher. He tried to do extinguisher for a fire extinguisher, and we said no. Yeah. Oh, we're fucked. Why? See? Because, well, wait until we get to E.

Okay. B, bucket. Bucket, I'll take. C, cap. Cap? That's a cap. DJ? Is it not? Yeah, you guys are always calling them caps.

I would vote no. I'd vote no. That's a hat. So you have one. Unfortunately not. No. Oh, this is horse. This is horse shit.

This is how we operate. Electricity? Electricity! Oh, no. What do you mean? No is how we operate. Electricity? Electricity. Oh, no. What do you mean? No, you got one. You just. Football will count.

Two. Goal. Does that count? Goal will count. Goal counts. Three. Hoop is four. Ice.

Five. Five. Juice. I'll count that. Six. Knife. Knife. Yeah.

Yeah. Seven. Liquid. No. Liquid. Yes. i'll count that six knife knife yeah seven liquid no liquid yes and no so you had eight oh wow i destroyed you dominate wow you guys failed so bad cheaters apparel and sweat shirts sweatshirt, sticker, hat, surge protector. Those are all S's, baby. Yeah. That's on most S's.

Yeah, you got a shitload of S's. How many did you get? 12. Oh, Rob. Apparel. That's the finest apparel in the world. Now the worst part is, for you guys, it's a chore. You have to put it all back. Fuck. Yeah. You guys got, that was world. I had 15. Now the worst part is for you guys, it's a chore. You have to put it all back.

Fuck. Yeah. You guys got, that was Nick. I apologize. Nick's good. I'm damn good. You fucking crushed that, Nick.

I'm damn good. I should have thought about it more, but yeah. They were so bad. My $100, please. That was pathetic. I get to buy something for $100 to you?

That was pathetic. You didn't do it. That was Kate's work. You guys are the laziest. You want to know the worst part? Electricity pissed me off. You want to know the worst part? We sat back there going through.

We prepared. Oh, yeah. Oh, you did. Terrible job. I was just going to grab it. We still failed. Sorry, Mook. Thank you.

Kate also has a broken back. Yeah. There was two of us, and we still had five minutes to plan, and we a broken back. Yeah. There was two of us and we still, and we had five minutes to plan and we still fucked up. Yeah. But you know when you're put on the spot and your brain just. Why doesn't anyone take a basketball? Wow. Why did box right there?

TV's in the room. Bucket was a good B. Although already on the floor, TV would have worked. Yeah. Yeah. So Nick, your prize. Fair enough. Yes.

Is you get to spin a wheel of letters and then i will buy you 100 worth of an item that starts with that letter all right do i get to pick the item or chat can sure chat chat can uh any letters you're looking for or looking to not I don't want D. Chat will get me phalluses. Give me a vowel. Give me Q. Uh-oh. Q-tips? F.

F. Farts. They're going to be fucking farts. They're going to buy you a bunch of farts. $100 worth of farts. This fart had to have been $100. A bag of sticks. $100 of farts.

Actually, I remember when I was a kid, I tried to make a stink bomb and we just invited the fattest kid in our neighborhood over just to fart in a coffee can. And we're like, this is going to be the best stink bomb ever. Did he know that he was just being invited because he was

fat? Yeah, but he was a really mean, fat kid. We weren just going to have him fart. Did he know that he was just being invited because he was fat? Yeah, but he was like a really mean fat kid. So we weren't making fun of him. We're just like, this is the neighborhood bully and he likes to fart. So we're just going to have him to fart in like a Foster's coffee can. That works. Yeah. Or his fart's pretty rank. What made it a bomb?

Well, we would have him fart and then we would put the cover on so the fart would be contained, and then we thought it would just work. Just open it on people? Yeah. I don't see any flaws in your system. I think that would work. Why wouldn't that work? If you got enough farts in there?

Yeah. Oh, here he is, Pete. He was tightly sealed. Pete's going to run the gauntlet today, Donnie. Oh, shit. Nice. Yeah. You've done it run the gauntlet today, Donnie. Oh, shit. Nice. Yeah. You've done it, right?

Yeah. I did it once. I would do it again at one point. Peter, come sit down real quick. I fucked up the cornhole real bad. Come sit down real quick. All right. Let's talk about Lucy.

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How was your first day here? It was good. Yeah? Yeah. The owner was here. Did you talk to him? I did, yeah. Did you talk to him about potentially buying the battery factory?

I didn't mention it yet. I don't want to be desperate. I'm not. Titus is trying to sleep. What's Titus doing? He's sleeping. Yeah, but why? It was part of the name wheel.

Okay. So he has to be asleep? He has one hour to fall asleep. He has one hour to fall asleep. Otherwise he has to show us his little butt. Yeah, otherwise he has to show us his butt. How do you know if he's asleep or not? We'll believe him. Yeah.

You're just going to take his word for it? We tested him and he was not asleep. Did you guys already make a joke about Rico? Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Kinda. Did we?

What should I do? I actually will leave this up to the chat. I have a question for the chat. Maybe we can put up a poll, TJ. So Rico's banned from the Tuesday, Thursday and Friday stream. That's Dave's decision. Dave, Thursday and Friday are going to be great. We have Dave coming, Elio, Whitney, Biz, Compton.

It's going to be a packed house on Thursday and Friday. Saturday, they all go to IceCon. I think Compton's going home to Nashville. So Saturday and Sunday, we're going to stream. All those guys leave. Am I soft if I let Rico stream on Saturday and Sunday with us? Or is it good? Like, I care about the content more than anything.

Is Rico being on the streams good enough content that who cares if I'm soft? We want to produce the best March Madness content. Thoughts? I think he should be able to stream, but just not traditionally. Okay. Sometime, but punishment stream? I think having him read the games instead of watch okay definitely yeah something with how he

streams what can you put up a can you put up a poll TJ with yeah options what I'm on the same regular let him on the stream punishment let him don't let him on the stream yeah just go off the reaction it's got to be something with not with sleep deprivation, no? Or make him do it longer, so pre-record and then make him watch all the games in slow-mo.

Or he has to do something between the last tip or the last game and the first game of the next day. In the overnight. Should he have to have Dramamine and stay awake for the games? Robotripping, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. You could have someone else watching the games narrating it to him like we did with the baseball game. Yeah.

With Ellie Schmidt. Well, this poll doesn't really work because it's our audience and they'll say punishment no matter what. That's not like, is that good content? Right. It's not there at all. Right. That's the thing is like,

I feel like it's kind of has to be whether he comes or he doesn't because like the whole reason he'd be coming is so that it would be good content. His only direct line of communication to the game should be through like Jerry. But is that good content? No, I think it needs to be someone who doesn't really watch basketball at all has to be trying to tell them about the games

because then they won't know the players. Are there any specific games on those days that he'll have extra? Alabama might be playing in the second round on Saturday and Sunday. He's got a lot of teams, I heard. He's got a lot of teams. If I could have a crystal ball and see the Alabama loss, it would be a no-brainer to have him on the stream because I would love to watch him watch Alabama lose.

Or make him black out with Nicky Smokes on Friday night coming hungover. Just a regular poll, and then we can figure out if there's a punishment involved. Rico streams Saturday, Sunday, or Rico doesn't stream at all? I do think missing Thursday and Friday when all the guys are going to be here, that's going to hurt them enough. Yeah. Can we cover up the TVs to where he can't see the score? Ooh, that would be interesting.

If he's in there. He has to keep track in his head. You guys want to see the score. Yeah, I want to see the score. No, I think he just has to have his own room where he watches the games alone with no score. Rico Kidd. By the way, Jerry is doing a very funny Jerry After Dark.

He is doing – so Virginia is playing Colorado State. The over-under is like 120. It's going to be a low-scoring game. He's going to eat a cheese curd for every single point scored, and he's going to run a suicide for every commercial break. Oh, that's rough. So tune in for that. He'll be watching the game and doing that.

That's a throw-up stream. This is a fried cheese curd? Fried cheese curd. Jeez. That's going to create like a ball of a boulder. We're looking at 120 fried cheese curds. They. That's going to create like a ball of a boulder. We're looking at 120 fried cheese curds. They're small, but. Yeah, you can get like the random really small one.

Probably what, 40-ish calories per curd. And then he's probably going to have to run, I don't know. Or about 5,000 calories worth of cheese curds. Probably going to have to run somewhere between 16 and 18. I love the volatility of his streams. His dream to now have to throw up live. You know that game's going to double overtime and going way over.

The commercial breaks would be incredible. I bet the over immediately after hearing the stipulation. Double overtime would be awesome. Back to Rico. Do we have enough Apple watches to where he has to watch on just a tiny little screen, all of them? Yeah, I don't want to become, because I am soft. I don't want to become the enabler guy.

I already have that with Mincy. So I'm stuck in a bad spot. But again, I want the content to be good. And he is good on the streams when he's awake. Tough spot. Tough spot. Pete, how are you feeling about this? Oh, I'm nervous.

Yeah? Yeah. When's the last time you played like a full game round set of a sport? I mean, decade. Here's Pete shooting. Go back 10 years, oh damn i mean i think there's such a wide range of athletic abilities that have done it you don't really have to be that nervous we're just gonna we're just gonna do it yeah i mean there's no way you come i'm gonna say there's

no way you come in the last four uh yeah i don don't know. I haven't seen the list. But I think I'll just be middle of the road. Are you going to hustle or just be like cool and slow? Well, I think, you know, you run yourself out. I'm extremely out of shape. 40-year-old, father of two. So I don't think I need to run from station to station. Can't come.

Gas myself. Will the vasectomy hurt your time in this? I don't think so. Okay. I don't think it'll have any effect whatsoever. You just have to ask. Yeah. You don't have to.

Well, I did. You did, but you don't have to. Good job, by the way, hiring Jordan, who's our new camera room guy. Yep. Not a mutant. No, not at all. Totally normal dude. Not a what? Mutant.

You hire mutants. Who would just live in that closet? Yeah. The job description is literally sit in a windowless room. Yeah, no sun. Don't talk to anybody. Don't do anything. Just get it right.

A mutant would be at the head of the... But he's not. son so don't talk to anybody don't do anything just get it right yeah you'd think that you would be a like a mutants would be at the head of the but he's not he's a normal guy yeah like well presenting normal dude yep friendly yeah did he work with us before no got it we found him out here how is everyone doing out here who's your mvp i think i think everybody's doing great stephanie's been great yeah chat likes stephanie what is that supposed to mean i think it's clear okay stephanie um but yeah everybody's doing a great job yeah i feel like we've had very good everybody have you ever cried in front of a co-worker? No.

Have you fired anyone? No. Ugh. You haven't? No. So you're soft? No, I don't over-hire. We try to hire...

You hire the right people. The right people in the right amount. Gary Vee taught me that. Yeah. Have you ever lost the company so much money, though, that it's led to people having to get fired? No. Okay. But you have lost the company money much money, though, that it's led to people having to get fired? No. Okay.

But you have lost the company money. No. Yeah, you have. No. We operate pretty efficiently. A lot of stuff we do makes a lot of money. Oh, PFT, you want to do the gauntlet? I think it might be funnier if I just never do the gauntlet.

No, I want you to do the gauntlet. Wait, you've never done it? Yeah, no, he's never done it. No, remember I was on like a month ago. Yeah. And I thought you did it. And we were like, okay, PFT's finally going to do the gauntlet. Wait, you've never done it? Yeah, no, he's never done it. No, remember I was on like a month ago. Yeah, I thought you did it. And we were like, okay, PFT's finally going to do the gauntlet. And then I just, we ran out of time. You want to do it? Nah, you got to do it.

I'll do it. All right. You got to do it. Can I have my chili first? Yeah, have your chili first. All right, have your chili first. Yeah, have your big bowl of chili. Should we wake up Mark for the gauntlet?

Oh, he's sleeping. We actually think he's asleep. There's a 0% chance he's asleep. He hasn't moved at all. He's just lying still. Like, is the challenge to lie still? I think the way he moved that way. He looked a little tired.

Hey! He's 100% asleep. He's not asleep. He's definitely asleep. He's not asleep. Should we put his hand in a cup of warm water? He's not going to fall asleep. He's not asleep. He's definitely asleep. He's not asleep. Should we put his hand in a cup of warm water? He's not going to fall asleep. Hey!

Yeah, he's definitely not. He's a sleepy guy. Yeah. Sell me your house. I think he might be asleep. I got to work. What do we do? Oh, wait.

Pete, I have one complaint for you. Oh, there we go. Yeah. So have you ever heard, there we go. Yeah. So have you ever heard of IRL streams? Yeah. Don't come to me with that shit. Whoa. I've tried to get this back in the past.

Just get some improvement. So here's the thing, because I know Hank went and talked to you about it. But I don't approve of that stuff. Danny would. Get him off the cake with that. And I think you told Hank, like, no, it's too expensive. But then how are all these Twitch streamers that don't work for Barstool Sports, they just work for themselves?

Like, how can they afford it but a company like Barstool Sports can't afford to do those streams? It's just cost allocation. How much does it cost? Oh, it's a back – what's the backpack? It's a backpack so you can do a stream wherever you want. So, like, Andy Milonakis, he's famous because he does streams all over the world where he's just live and he's got a camera. That's not that expensive, Pete. Yeah, so like the actual backpack's not bad and then you worry about the Wi-Fi.

The data is expensive. How much? The data's expensive? I haven't. It might be like $100 a month. No, not if you're going all the time. Pete, let's get this. So say if like we... You want me to get it? Yeah. Not if you're going all the time. Pete, let's get this. So say if like we-

You want me to get it? Yeah. I asked for this when we moved here. What would we do? Well, the thing is- That's another question. Jersey Jerry could use it here. I could use it when I travel.

IRL streams are massive. Yeah, they're huge. We got to get it with- So what's your target? What's your viewer target if we do this? Let's set some goals for ourselves. So I'm heading to Shanghai soon. I know someone there who has the backpack.

He's going to let me do it and use it for my YouTube page. So I'm going to do like two, probably six-hour streams. So what's the goal to hit there that will get us to invest in one of these? I got to look at some other streams and compare numbers yeah your buddy has one of these backpacks he must work for a big company he works for himself what he he has a large following and i think he does he have a 40 000 square foot office with with a lot of studios control rooms cameras, cameras, basketball court, golf later. I don't like where you're going.

Well, my point is. My point is. Streams are all travel related. My point is. I don't like where you're going with this. It's money allocation. We can get whatever we want. But then like Jerry after dark,

like he could do a stream where he's walking the streets of Chicago. Like there would be some great content moments in that. Frank. Mincy. Oh, yeah. Frank walks. Frank walks. Frank walks could be live streamed that would be huge

yeah like i'm not saying i'm the only one who would use it like a lot of people could i didn't see the price was it like a million or what no it's three thousand dollars oh come on also that's if you go through this you could just build this yourself for cheaper we might we probably have a lot of like the technology we build it ourselves pete i like the name the gun run yeah it's all yeah it's just about the data i don't like how you keep saying that so mook what are the top irl streamers like what do they do just walk around random places yeah they kind of just walk around and fuck around and they get girls on stream they fake fights those are like the younger tiktokers but like jinxie and sketch will like play golf 18 holes and like it'll just be live

and that goes crazy that's pretty sick yeah yeah andy millenacos would just travel around the world be like here i am and he would coast about a bar like but then he would also have fans just sending him tons of money like when i was with him he's like oh someone just sent me a thousand bucks so we could start to make our money when's your shanghai stream i'll be doing that in april is the quality good yeah it's not bad like what like if we were would would could this replace like when we go to like the final four streaming that no no it's just it's not bad. Like, if we were... Could this replace, like, when we go to, like, the Final Four, streaming that? No?

No. It's just a little camera on your shoulder. Could you stream a game you go to, or is that illegal? It's probably illegal. Yeah. You'd get shut down at some point. But you could stream yourself at the game. If you pointed at yourself, probably.

That seems like that would be worth it. Yeah. Maybe they could sponsor you If you come in dead last on the gauntlet We buy it today Yeah you can do whatever you want I don't like how you do this Cause I'm sure you could figure out a lot of ways to use this

Easy We should have it like a school pet Where somebody has to take home that Big cat shits. Yeah. Big cat shits. Yeah. Every morning. Oh, my God.

Every morning. But just take out your phone. Nah, I need the backpack. You got it in the back. Yeah. You just hunched over with the backpack between you and the back of the toilet. Yeah. Pointing down at your feet.

Wait, yeah. What is the difference between the backpack and a phone? Oh, yeah. Shit. Is that? Come up with something. You got us. You got us. There are ways to do it using a phone. Oh, yeah. Shit. Is that? Come up with something. There are ways to do it using your phone. Damn it, Donnie.

I forgot about phones. Because the phone has to rely just on data. When you have the backpack, you have a Wi-Fi connection in your backpack. So the quality is good wherever you go. You don't have to worry about losing data and stuff. If you're out on the streets, you're not picking up Wi-Fi. He's going to be in Shanghai. Shanghai, yeah.

I want to see the Shanghai stuff. All right. All right. You better watch. Yeah. We'll set some goals, and then we'll get the backpack. All right, Pete. You ready for the gauntlet?

All right. The gauntlet is brought to you by Long John Silver's. It's fried fish season. Enjoy wild caught Alaska pollock, hand-battered and fried to perfection at Long John Silver's. It's fried fish season. Enjoy wild caught Alaska pollock, hand-battered and fried to perfection at Long John Silver's. We have more than fish. This February 14th through March 31st. Indulge in our $10 shrimp sea shares,

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Start it out here. When you sign up at ljsilvers.com, offer valid at participating restaurants and discounts not valid for delivery orders. Steven, you want to put on the hat? Long John Silver's hat? Maybe we'll have PFT actually wear it. When he's doing it. All right, so you know what you're doing, right?

I can't, I hope he fails so bad. So bad. Titus. Titus, buddy. Titus. Titus. Titus. He's really asleep.

Titus. Titus. Peaceful sleeper. Oh. Mark. Did you actually fall asleep? Yeah did yeah i actually did what you asked me he said huh so i think he actually did this time i think he's he's trying yeah you can get up look how disoriented yeah yeah he fell asleep It was the turn back that helped him fall asleep.

We should do that more often. Yeah. All right, come on and join us again, Titus. He might not. He might be happy down there. Morning, man. When's the last time you've been to Canada? What?

Why? I feel like they could use a little bit of you 2017 2018 i went to toronto to canada toronto is awesome amazing i heard great great great incredible i loved going to toronto maybe 2016 2017 yeah you're due i probably am due for a canada trip i i really want to go to vancouver yeah i've been montreal and i've been in tor. I really want to go to Vancouver. I've been in Montreal and I've been in Toronto. Vancouver seems beautiful. Wonderful. Summertime. It gets ranked the most livable city in North America.

I would love to go to Vancouver. To Canada? Eighth grade field trip. Niagara? Niagara, yeah. We're talking about Canada, Pete. Don't rush us. Don't think I want to just walk off. All right, fine. Let's do about Canada, Pete. Don't rush us. Like, don't think I won't just walk off.

All right, fine. Let's do it. All right. Where's Steven? Where'd he go? He's got to have that. I need more votes, though. Please keep voting.

There's not enough votes. Yeah, we need more votes. Should we let Rico stream on Saturday and Sunday or don't let him stream? What about putting him in a room with all his enemies? There's no room big enough. The problem is he got rid of them. He became a Dave enemy. Otherwise,

I would definitely have Nadeau. I'd fly Nadeau out here for sure. Captain Cons? Yeah. They've kind of squashed their beef, I think. Alright. You ready, Pete? Here we go.

Where's... Oh, I see him. You see Pete? Here we go. You see, Steven? Here we go. Three, two, one, go. All right, he's going to go slow so he can be like, I didn't really try that hard. Oh, my God. This is a nightmare. What if he comes in first?

I said I'd kill him. Jake, turn it on. Come on, Jake. Yeah, this is where we Come on, Jake. Yeah. This is where we get him. You can kick. You can kick. I thought he was going to unzip.

You can kick from anywhere. Yes, Jake. Yes, Jake. Yes, Jake. Stand on business. Yes, Jake. Jake. Oh!

What a save. What a save. I want him here all day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. Literally the rest of the day. He is so bad. What a save. I want him here all day. All day. All day. Marathon. Literally the rest of the day. He is so back.

It's only 38 seconds. Kate, whose side are you on? It's just fun to see Pete moving around like that. Can't hit the ceiling. He makes me feel like I'm not a real grown up. How he's doing it is pissing me off. Oh, he's smiling. He's like not really tryinging me off. Oh, he's smiling. He's not really trying.

That counts. That's a home run. Why not? Home run. That hit the top of the studio. We shouldn't have Steven do this. It's a homer. It didn't hit above the once ball.

Yeah, it has to hit the... This time's going to be fine. It's going to suck. That's good. All right, football, football. Right behind you. Football. He did it.

God fucking damn it. This sucks. This sucks. This is the problem, though, right? Basketball? Oh, no. No, not for him. Yeah, he can get it.

He's strong enough. It looks goofy, but... It looks terrible, but... yeah he's a shot he's strong enough it looks goofy but it looks terrible but but he's getting it up there i would swat the shit out of him look how look where he's releasing from he's releasing from his fucking chin oh oh my god come on pete hey and a switch and oh he just looks pissed off the whole time he's worst day of his life yeah what oh my god shit trivia oh my god nine all-time hit leaders to play for the yankees five nba teams doc rivers's head coach little sebastian

countries that border afghanistan little sebastian a b start select A, B, start, select. No. Five German car brands sold in the U.S.? Volkswagen. BMW. Mercedes. Derek Jeter. Mantle.

Nice, Pete. Boston Celtics. Mantle. Nice, Pete. Boston Celtics. Milwaukee. Milwaukee Bucks. He's out of breath. Yeah, I told you I was out of shape. One more.

Sixers, 76ers. There it is. 312. 312. Pretty good. Not bad, Pete. Not bad. Let's see where he is on the leaderboard.

Good job, Pete. I think he beat you. Oh, that's nasty work there. The A, B, you have to write button. Oh, that is nasty, nasty stuff. Nasty. I'm not going to yell, TJ. You want to? Oh, just lost a KB there.

Tough. Not bad. All right. Kirk beat you. See you guys later. Lucas beat you. Lucas beat you in his skinny pants. Bye, Pete.

Bye, Pete. I'd say it's been fun, but it has not. He's just such a downer of a guy. Everything about him. I could feel his energy. Good time, and he wasn't excited at all. Yeah. Yeah, if he's ready.

All right, PFT, you ready? Oh, let's go. With a belly full of chili. Yeah, I might need some reminders. Pete was exactly what I needed to fall asleep. Thank you guys for that. Yeah. He's just a buzz kid.

Yeah, that's just tough. The most buzz kid of all time. People saying I sold Pete for not typing A, B, and B, but in there I gave him an answer. I typed in L-I for Lil Sebastian and Jet Li popped up. There we go. So the spork will giveth and the spork will take it away. Yeah.

Why didn't you say that when Pete was still here, TJ? I'm reading the chat. You scared of him? I am not scared of Pete, no. I love that. I love that. No one should be scared of Pete. Donnie, we got to get you that backpack, dude.

Yeah. And it doesn't just have to be mine. I would use it if I go on a trip, but then when I'm just here, all you guys can use it. Can we make sure that Pete's Gauntlet is tweeted a bunch and tags Dave so that Dave gets mad that he was doing content? What was Max's time? What was Max's time?

I think you're going to be good at this PFT Max was 521 you'll kill him what was Hank's time Hank's time good question Hank was 4407 what was Billy's

Billy was 338 about 3 minutes do what Pete just did Billy was 3-8. About three minutes. Three minutes. Three minutes. Do what Pete just did. You got to put the bags down to start. Pete got 3-12.

But if you're at that pace, you'll be all right. No, you just stand where the bags are. All right, you ready? Yep. This is Long John Silvers, by the way. Thank you, Long John Silvers, again. Stephen Che's got the pirate hat on. Where's Stephen Che?

He just keeps disappearing. Stephen, get closer so we get the pirate hat. He's such a sad sack right now with his... Oh. Yeah. Shoe bros, he says. All right, you ready, TJ? Yep.

All right. Three, two, one, go. All right, PFT's up. It's over. Oh, it's a nightmare. It's officially a nightmare. I've never seen anything like this. This is bad.

He's floundering. He's got to hit that meal on a cornhole. It took me a lot of time. That historic love. This is exactly what happened to me. I have never seen anything like this. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

He clogged the hole. Oh, no. This is going to be tough. Max is on football by this point. Get that in there. Oh, my God. Oh, wait. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, geez. Oh, no. He might have to reset bags. Reset bags. Oh, no. Reset. Reset bags. Oh, no. Oh, no. He might have to reset bags. Reset bags. Reset. Reset bags. Get him bags.

Get him bags. Get the one-armed guy getting him bags. Oh, no. This is a debacle. Come on. You can hold more than one bag, yeah. What a disaster. Come on.

Oh, God. He's in his head. He's in his head. Oh, my word. Oh, God. He's in his head. He's in his head. Oh, my word. This is disaster. He's good at soccer. He should get this quick. That was almost a fucking screamer.

Oh, Malasek. So in his bag. All right. Top shelf. That was a nice fucking goal Baseball Is Jaybo bad? Was he playing with the ball?

What? Was he playing with the ball? Yes Somehow his hurt shoulder has made him so he can't move A little too high Football, football football football steven jesus christ is he i gotta get your own rebound if you don't hit it get your own rebound uh he's shaking cuss do you think he's so off no no no get it get it help him Steven. Put the bottles back up.

Oh, no. There it is. Nice. Basketball. Shot and then shot. All right. He's actually picked it up okay. Yeah, he's picked it up okay. This might be a struggle. Oh. Yes, yes, yes.

There we go. This is a classic shanty. Him being good at that. Come on, get this, PFT. You got a chance to beat Billy. He's going to be good at the trivia. Yeah, he is. Oh, no. Losing steam. What was Billy's time?

3-3. Yep. Yes, let's go. Trivia, trivia, trivia, trivia. Nine countries to border Germany. Nine NFL kickers. Switzerland. Here we go. Austria. Liechtenstein.

Three NBA teams you've already won championships with. I don't think I can spell it, but I think that's right. And just go to the Rockets. Spurs. Rockets, Lakers, all right. Two longest reigning monarchs, you might know that. Oh, 11 directors for the following movies. Jaws, Back to the Future.

Steven Spielberg. Natural Born Killers, A Few Good Men. Jojo Rabbit, The Prestige. Sam Raimi. Did he do Night of the Living Dead? I don't know. Nine NFL kickers with the most career 50-yard field goals. Vinatieri, Janikowski.

Oh, this is hilarious. This is a master class in picking the worst names to spell. Vinatieri, Janikowski. Never seen it like it. Lichtenstein. Gostkowski. Stay strong. Oh, Janikowski, Lichtenstein. Gostkowski. Stay strong. States of matter observable

in everyday life. Solid, liquid, gas, plasma. They should be able to spell that. You guys should just do solid. One more. One more solid, he said. They're done.

357. Killed Max. I need to be better at cornhole. Better at cornhole. Cornhole got me. How long did I take at cornhole? A minute. Yeah.

That was my downfall. Got to be better at cornhole. Very long time. What'd Pete get? Like 316. Oh, fuck. Yeah. He got the first cornhole in.

Yeah. Cornhole was bad. He had a nice soccer kick, though. I wanted to hit him in the face? Yeah. He got the first cornhole in. Yeah. Cornhole was bad. You get a nice soccer kick, though. I wanted to hit him in the face. Yeah. Malasek is on fire. You were a great kicker. Yeah.

High speed. How's that chili? I had a big bowl of chili earlier, so I'm going to blame that for my cornhole. Yeah. Alex Jones defense. Good move. All right. Well, thank you, guys.

Yeah. You'll have another chance Oh yeah Can't wait Can't wait to run it back Yeah Just practice the cornhole I want to know who I beat

Cam Newton Oh nice Everyone beat Cam Newton Taylor LeJuan Yep Taylor LeJuan He's a punk bitch Who else I think you probably beat

Let's see Ohio State Beat Hank Will Compton Julio Will Compton Pat Bev Alright And Will Compton Julio Will Compton Pat Bev Alright

And Will Compton By the way I'd like to shout out Dave and Buster's I think they're just A great place to go For a bite to eat Oh yeah

Hang out with the friends You got games on TV You got You got games That you can play Big Buck Hunter Out the ass At Dave and Buster's

Big time Big fan of Dave and Buster's Shout out Will and Taylor. You beat Jeff D. Lowe. Oh, okay. Jeff D. Lowe has the worst time by far. What did he struggle with?

Basketball. I think we charted it. I think he took like 79 shots. Nine minutes, 30 seconds. Yeah. Yikes. I beat him blindfolded. Yikes.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right. I'll do this again. I. Yikes. Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right. I'll do this again. I will be back and I will be stronger than ever. That's all. Improving is all that matters.

Yeah. Jeff D'Lo's time really is a shocker. What's the rule on trying again? Do you have to wait a certain amount of time or like, no, anytime you want to come and try it, anybody can? Maybe we can get a sponsor and just do a day where everyone in the office gets to go. It's a big ass gauntlet day. What record is less beatable? Your first place or Jeff D'Lo's last place?

I think it's Jeff D'Lo. Yeah. I don't think anyone will touch Jeff D'Lo. No. If you get close, you just quit. Right, and Sue Feiner tore his quad and he beat Jeff D'Lo. Yeah. What's the youngest person that could have beat Jeff D'Lo

second grader could Tommy come and try it wait so that was wait that was his how many shots did he take 75 shots or 73 shots that's the shots wait what's 94 94 yeah what is 94

what is 94? What is that number? How do PFTs get updated so fast? Yeah, holy fuck. Who's doing this? Wait, what are these numbers, TJ? Do we know? This is cool.

This is awesome, but I have to understand these numbers. I have no idea what I'm looking at, but I love it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay, so it's the different times on each thing who is timing that 90 94 attempt attempts all attempts wait what would you what oh so we had 94 sporkle it's no no 94 of everything it's 73 basketball attempts what but then what's the night oh that's the that's the total and i my my record run was 18 total attempts so pft was he the worst cornhole that

was 18 attempts how did they update that fast that's a shock what the fuck is going on who's doing this that seemed pretty impressive pre-recorded pre-recorded. Pre-recorded. That was incredible. Whoever's doing it needs fired from their current job. Yeah. That was so fast. That's faster than like an ESPN score. Tim Woods' worst cornhole. 44. 44 for Tim Woods. But he had a K-ball. K%.

I'm very confused how I was that much slower than PFT because I was very slow on the cornhole as well. It took me a full minute, but then the rest of it, I wasn't that bad. But he still beat me by like two and a half or one and a half minutes. He was really good at everything else. This is incredible. Who is that?

I want to just stare at this. I don't know a lot of these faces. Who is that face next to mine under soccer? Is that Tufan Brett? No, that's Ryan Blaney. Oh, fuck. That's Blaney. Yeah, it's Blaney.

I was like, that's not tight. Yeah, he killed it, Ryan Blaney. Blaney killed it. He killed it. Who's Joey Avery? Comedian. Okay. All right.

How the fuck did someone do this? Some wizardry. Want to do the High Noon ad, Nick? Yeah. Do the High Noon ad for us? Today's episode is brought to you by High Noon. The High Noon El Prez pack is here featuring the top four High Noon vodka seltzer flavors as ranked by El Prez himself. The flavors include passion fruit, pineapple, pear, and an all-new flavor tangerine,

all made with real vodka and real juice. This 12-pack is only here for a limited time, so get it while you can. Just look for the pack with Dave's face on it. You can even scan the QR code on the pack and have El Prez virtually join your party. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find the El Prez pack nearest you.

Thank you. Thank you to High Noon. Thank you to High Noon. Thank you to High Noon. Speaking of me being the most accessible person here, Kate, someone wants to know where your shoes are from. Oh, Target. Okay. All right.

Megan making money got them for me. All right. Megan got them for you? Yes, she did. Megan's a good gift giver. She is. She really is. Titus, you well rested?

Yeah, I did fall asleep. I legitimately did. I wouldn't lie to you guys. No, no, no, no. Yeah, it was not as comfortable as I was hoping it would be. You're a stomach sleeper. I am a stomach sleeper. Yeah, I can fall asleep pretty easily.

Yeah. And I didn't sleep well last night. Do any of you guys take like melatonin or Unicom? Do you? I didn't sleep well last night. Do any of you guys take melatonin or Unatom? I get the craziest bad dreams the first 40 minutes of every night I fall asleep. And then I wake up and I go right back to sleep. Are they always bad or just vivid? Usually really bad. On melatonin?

Yeah. It's the first 40 minutes. And then I wake up, I turn over, and then I go back to sleep. I usually get those the entire six hours but Jesus Christ I take melatonin my magnesium and uh weed yeah yeah I've been doing fall asleep three different ways a little bit of edible and the other night I took two big because I like measure I don't know I took too much of one and all i could think was horrible scenarios i was laying there and like yeah it was yeah it was the opposite of what i needed so i just closed my eyes in bed oh you're lucky whoa interesting yeah interesting you're very lucky steven what's up with you and ham right now ham

ham i just had some ham questions for the fire away buddy go ahead what's your ham question um wait you have multiple ham questions well i i have the prep shoot up i was just scrolling down to where it was um what are the top four times every year to eat ham not deli ham just like a i don, however you do it, like boiled or oven-baked ham. Christmas. Easter. Today is one of the best times. I think it's Christmas and Easter, but then what are the other two? Today? Yeah.

Today is traditionally I think, yeah. The best time to eat ham is today. The best time to eat ham is today. At least it wasn't my family. The first four isn't that old, but when they instituted it. First four it was in my family. I don't know. The first four isn't that old, but when they instituted it, that was the first four is synonymous with ham. And then these next few days

with the leftovers. I'm a ham hater. July 5th? Have you ever been to a... I don't think ham is ever the best option. No, it never is. It's popular because you can't fuck it up. So everybody can make a ham. Little kids like ham. Also, ham's one of those things that, in theory, is great.

You're like, oh, I haven't had ham in a while. Then you have it, and you're like, I'm good. I'm good on my ham. Yeah. What is something that needs ham? Like, oh, this needs ham. This could really use some ham. I mean, Christmas and Easter are pretty similar.

Italian sub, maybe? Not even. They have prosciutto. Yeah. Have you guys ever been to a Honey Baked Ham? Oh, yeah. Yep. Have we been to one?

Yeah. Because I didn't know. I've only seen them once. I went. It was good. It was a good restaurant. I enjoyed it. But, like, yeah.

I don't think they have them here in Chicago. Their box lunches are elite. Really? When you're at a work retreat at some sort of apple orchard. That's Honey Baked Ham? Mm-hmm. Is there a heavy... That was very specific. That's honey baked ham? Mm-hmm. Is there a heavy... That was very specific.

That's the only time I've had it. I've heard of rum ham. Of course. Rum ham. Rum ham. Should we eat more ham? I don't know. Ham was number one, and then Turkey took it over in Delhi.

In Delhi? Yeah. India? In terms of sold meat products. Ham was one? You can look it up. Ham used to be king? Ham was one for like 20 years.

This is like deli ham, though. I'm talking about like- I know, but deli ham was king of all deli meats for a very long time. Eddie had a butcher on, and he was like, yeah, ham used to be king. And then turkey came along and it just fucking smashed it then we found turkeys you look it up when turkey turkey wasn't like i don't remember really eating turkey is it who's eating southern people eating ham yeah oh yeah mountain people growing up we had a lot of lami and stuff and i never see that now

ham is you just you can't fuck it up i I think that's really it. It's like you can go to any supermarket, get some sliced ham and it's, you know what it's going to taste like. Yeah, it's like a chain restaurant of deli meats. Yeah. That's the appeal of ham, I think, is that it's inoffensive.

I need a good glaze on my ham. Like, I don't like the sliced deli ham. I need you to chill. A glazed ham glaze in my ham. Like, I don't like the sliced deli ham. I need you to chill. A glazed ham? Zah? The only ham. Thanks. Zah not fuck with glazed ham?

Can we sell a Zah pause button in the store? Yo. Yeah, I want to know. Can we watch the Billy clip of him crying? Oh, yeah. We can run it back what was going through your mind because in the video you're like you're barely registering it that he's crying like did you um yeah well that was not the first time he cried in front of me that trip um the previous night right after the game he came up to me and he was bawling his eyes out

and at that point it caught me off guard and i was like all right i'd feel kind of bad just shoving a camera in his face right now. Wait, wait, that wasn't – that was how long after the game? So damn hard. This was the following morning. So damn hard and they got screwed by the referees. Oh, man, this made me really emotional. I went to war with them and the fact that they didn't get a win was terrible

because they fought so damn hard they did everything right they did everything right he's a bad crier yeah yeah that's the that's the luck right there and they got robbed we were getting five yards every carry and they kept moving the first down marker the worst thing was that they trusted me. That is the worst thing. The driver probably thought he was talking about literal war. I think he's hitting right now. I never watched Ted Law, so I played in the game and I fought with them.

I love you, Mom. That's the best part. I love you, Mom. And then this. How do I look? Wait, how do I look? Wait. How do I look? Wait, do you have the part where you're like, he's like, how do I look?

Do I look like I cried? And you're like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that should be it. It cut right. How do I look? But there's also him screaming during the game, and then the people are just laughing. Yeah, people on the sidelines found that very funny. I finally watched the full finale last night i'd

only seen the clips i'd watched like the first few episodes we watched last night and i sort of did feel bad for billy because you guys were getting fucked we did you guys got completely fucked like he his point of view is legitimate it's just that he his delivery is that of a crazed person it's hard not to laugh at him yeah yeah which i guess if you feel like you got cheated it's hard to like it's hard to make the case that you've been cheated to people that don't really know the story right oh you're just like dude it's rigged and they're all right buddy all right yeah you can never get away yeah yeah you sound like the crazy person i mean you've been working here for a while have you ever cried at work i don't think so? I don't think so. No, I don't think so.

I'm trying to think if I've cried. No. Yeah, I mean. Should I try? It takes a lot of passion. Try, yeah. It takes a lot of, yeah. I don't.

Yeah. I don't. No. Yeah. First one to cry. First one to cry. I don't think I can. No. Yeah. First one to cry. First one to cry. I don't think I can. No.

I only cry when I hear that Kirk was talking about me on his show. But I do that in private. I'm never really on air for that. Did you ever cry while playing college ball? No, I tried to fake cry one year to get on that was Brandon was reading where the red fern grows do you get a tear? I was trying so hard

you're a good actor maybe you weren't sleeping after all I wasn't sleeping at all I tried to cry one year to get on One Shiny Moment I tried to fake it and it didn't work I was on the bench a shit there i tried to cry one year to get on one shiny moment i tried to fake it okay um and it didn't work and the nc tournament yeah i was on the bench yeah i don't know it's a bad idea it's a good idea yeah oh there's oh i cried that's a cry that was my mom was sorry did you get in

that game i did yeah i got a trillion yeah oh fuck yeah that was my mom was sobbing. Did you get in on that game? I did. Yeah, I got a trillion. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That was my mom was like just sobbing and it fucked me up. Yeah. Yeah. Mom crying. So then I'm I cried. I don't know if there aren't any photos of me crying. You should try as hard as you can to keep it that way because TJ TJ has that in a folder

somewhere. Mm hmm. Pulls that up off. I think one of the craziest parts about like a parent is you forget that kids just cry like 100 times a day. And it's like for never, it'd be the littlest thing, and they just cry. They just have no ability. All right, TJ, we got it.

That's the same instance. We don't have the- Oh my God, look at the little baby. All right, TJ. Steven, are your kids crying a lot? All right, TJ. We got it. Yeah. Yeah yeah they just cry for like nothing they're just like dude why are you crying

yes you guys can't control little kids just don't control their emotions I used to host birthday parties for like children and it would always be weird when like I would like be near a kid and they started crying I'd be like that wasn't my fault I'd be like, that wasn't my fault.

I'd be afraid of the parent being like, what did you do? But it's just because they cry on site. What was this venture? You hosted birthday parties? Yeah, I worked at a place called Sport Zone. I thought you had them over at your house. No. That should be a thing.

Your apartment's a party venue. It could be. You can rent it out. It's like a giant bouncy house with a couch and a bed. Just jump around everywhere. I have a thing I need your guys' help with. On Mostly Sports Today, Brandon and I bought Connor Griffin. We surprised him with tickets to Olivia Rodrigo tonight.

Oh, my God. But we got him two tickets, and he doesn't have a date, and he needs to find a date by tonight. And the obvious thought he had was to take Brandon's sister. Of course. Yes. Brandon is adamant that he cannot do that. I'm arguing that he can.

Yes. That would be funny. She's her own woman. She's giving out Plan B pills at our concerts. Olivia Rodrigo is? Yeah, I think. He can take my wife because my wife's a huge Olivia Rodrigo fan. Oh, really?

Yeah. So many people are gigantic fans. She's fun, too. I think he's got to take Caitlin. He has less than six hours to find a date for this concert tonight. I would like a random. I would, too. I kind of want a random, too.

But I was going to buy Connor one ticket, and he was like, I'm not going to go by myself, which Connor Griffin is 100% a guy who would just- Yeah, you want a million. So then I was like, well, if I got you another ticket would you take somebody and he's like oh yeah i could all right so i was like all right well who are you gonna find and then he didn't really have a plan so are his dms open i don't know that's what i you look at his mook twitter can we can we post from the barstool main barstool main yeah wait can we say first woman to roll up first roll up right First roll up. Right now.

I don't know where he's at in the process either. I don't know if in the last couple hours he's found somebody. First to roll up. Well, he follows you, so that might be. Get him in here, Connor. Can we make him a sign to have? He needs a sign. Hug me, sister.

He needs a. He had the hug me face paint. He had the hug me brother, yeah. Yeah, penis paint. He is a massively Rodrigo fan. And you know what the, like, creepiest part of it all is? That. Everything.

He actually respects her talent. That's why he's a huge fan of her. Of course he does. How old is he? I don't – I think he's 25. Oh, heavens. Yeah.

Oh, heavens to bets. Yeah. Yeah, you ask him his favorite musicians, he just says all the hot chicks. And you're like, all right, buddy. And he's like, no, I love them. They're so talented. It's the lyrics. It's her lyrics that really.

Yeah. Yeah. Portnoy's a fan of Taylor Swift, not just because she's hot. He really respects her talent. Yeah. All right, Connor. Connor, are your DMs open? I think so.

All right. You don't think so. You either know or you don't. He knows. You monster. Instagram DMs open? I think so. You don't think so. You either know or you don't. You monster. Instagram DMs. Get those things open. Do you want to take Caitlyn? Should you take Caitlyn?

I think for content purposes, that's probably the funniest bet. What about sexual release purposes? Cum purposes. I don't know. I don't know. I have a couple people like in the area who i had in mind but that would just be for the enjoyment of the concert but mark and brandon very nicely got me these tickets on air and it is kind of like a content type of thing so i don't

know is there a chance you'll cry at the show tonight i don't think so no no no i don't think also i first of all i would go to a concert by myself, but this one is a little bit different because it's a 24-year-old dude showing up to an Olivia Rodrigo concert by himself with a bunch of younger girls. I'm not doing that. But yeah, I'm looking to find somebody,

so I don't know the best way of going about it. Have you asked Caitlyn? I told Caitlyn, I said, there's a very good chance I am going to have to take you to Olivia Rodrigo tonight, so keep an open mind. What'd she say? She said, yeah, sure. I think that was the backup plan.

I think that's a yes. That would be the creepiest thing in the world for a solo dude in the pit, just to be crying during Olivia Rodrigo. Exactly. I want a video of you singing along to a song, please. Sure, you know, it is going to be photographed. There will be videos. This is going to be photographed. There will be videos.

This is going to be an experience that, yeah, we'll share on here. We'll share on Mostly Sports tomorrow because, yeah, Mark and Brandon did not have to do that at all. The money wasn't a thing. It was a lot of money. It was. It was a lot of money. I don't want to make it a thing.

Oh, it had to have been. It was an extraordinary amount of money. I showed up today, and I was thinking in the back of my mind, I might just say fuck it and just buy the tickets just on a whim. And then on the show today, it was like, oh, no, I'll get them. All right, so Caitlin, you can take Caitlin, but also if there's any lady yakkers who want to DM Connor in the Chicago area, DMs are open.

What are your requirements? Just somebody who— Bra size?s are open. Yeah. What are your requirements? Just somebody who – Bra size? No bra size. Okay. I don't know. Somebody who is like at least – No bra size.

No. So no bra. Is it standing or is it – It is the first – it's middle – it's the first section behind the pit, so you've got to have a place to sit. Okay. But it's the middle. It's like row five.

Yeah. I didn't want to do the pit because you've got to get there early and it's a mush and it's it's the middle it's like row five yeah i didn't want to do the pit because you got to get there early and it's a mush it's a whole thing so you you do have a assigned seat but uh it's it's still really really good again very expensive no requirements no requirements except don't wear a bra maybe maybe okay i was uh i was thinking possibly would it be funny if i got someone from the foot competition but then I was like, oh I don't know. I think that would play. Those girls liked you. I don't know.

Sign? Yeah I was thinking of that too. Birch? Maybe do go alone. That'd be funny as hell. I am absolutely because one of Pat Bev's producers was in here the other day or I guess yesterday and he had went to the show in Milwaukee and he had went to the show in Milwaukee

and he had a sweet Olivia Rodrigo shirt so I'm going to get that. I have a hat that says I heart Olivia Rodrigo that somebody sent to me. Go alone. I'm not, I can't really treat this as like a date date where I'm trying to win somebody over

because I'm going to be embarrassing myself tonight like singing along and everything like that. You should just bring an Emmer guy. Have you been a fan since High School Musical the musical? That's how I found her. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because that sounds creepy because it was on Disney Plus

and I was watching The Mandalorian and I was like what the fuck is this High School Musical show? What is this? What the fuck is this? What could this ever be about? What the fuck is this high school musical show? I was like, this girl is incredible. What the fuck is this? What could this ever be about? What the fuck is this after my Mandalorian? There's a different premise to this show. I don't know.

Check your DMs. See if anyone's DMed you. Do you care if they're... A girl in chat said his DMs are not open. Can't you request me, though? Or can't you say, I'll get it in my message. Just open your DMs right now. Or just DM the Yak.

Yeah, you could DM the Yak. Yeah, you have the Yak account, right? Yeah. All right, so just DM the Yak. DM the Yak if you're a girl in the Chicago area and want to go and don't wear a bra. I'm not saying that, but, yeah, sure. Nice.

Nice. Nice. But, yeah, I'm very much looking forward to it, and I can't thank Mark and Brandon enough. No, you can. You can't enough because they were very expensive tickets. I think there will be a threshold where I will feel like you've thanked me enough. Yeah.

And we're not even close to there yet. And I – Jeez. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I do feel bad, too, because I got the Creed tickets for later in August, and they're nowhere near as good of seat as the ones that I'm having.

Connor, I'm kidding. I don't. I just feel like I'm indebted to you, and I, you know. Well, you are, but not just for this. Well, yeah, true. Yeah. Connor's DMs are open on Instagram and Twitter. Yeah, Instagram, I see requests and all that type of stuff. No, it's going to, you are, a moment of sincerity, you are awesome for the show.

I think that came through when we were in Vegas and we didn't have Connor Griffin as a crutch. You bring a lot to our show. We are very appreciative of what you do for us. And as a token of our appreciation, we decided to get you tickets too. Thank you. So your favorite musical act, a prepubescent woman.

She's 21. She's 21. Going to sing Disney Plus songs. That's not it at all. Wait, are you going to know the entire set list? 100%, yes. What song are you looking forward to most? Get Him Back is a basic one.

How's it go? Come on. Come on. Give us a little snack Do you have a condom In your wallet right now? No I do not have a condom

Let me see Do you have a plan B In your wallet? No you were right about that Though she was Handing that out That was a controversial So she's trying to lean

From my point of view She's trying to lean Into like her edginess now Like separate herself From the Disney days Possibly There's nothing to lean into her edginess now, like separate herself from the Disney days. Possibly. There's nothing. Connor F. Griffin?

What's the F? Francis. Find out tonight. You're Connor F. Griffin? Yeah. That sounds cool. That's kind of sick. Let's check your DMs again.

Okay. Oh, you didn't say anything. It's like 48 dudes. Hey. Hey. Got any? Oh, you didn't say anything It's like 48 dudes Hey Nothing on Instagram That's shocking Come on, ladies Nothing on Twitter

Oh, no I'll check the yak, though Yeah Can they find you? Yeah, I mean, I think I'm Okay If you type in Conor Griffin, I should pop up, hopefully. Yeah, nothing.

Nothing so far. I mean, in fairness, our audience on social is like 90% men. Yeah. So, we'll get there. Yeah, there's still a lot of time left. And regardless, I'm'm gonna have a great time and I'm very thankful I get to go

okay yeah so and maybe Caitlin now what could your potential date expect from you at the concert like flirtation dancing see that's the thing

like my mind's not even I sound like Jake Malicek my mind's not even really gonna be on like on what the woman it's gonna be I'm at a fucking

Olivia Rubber yeah you can't get horny at a yeah Rodrigo concert exactly you're dial can't get horny at a Rodrigo concert. Exactly. You're dialed in on the music. You've got to be locked in on the music.

Does she have any ballads, though? Yes. Does she have good kissing songs? No, no, no, no. Not good kissing songs. Are you a guts or sour gal? More so gal. More so sour, if I had to say.

She does some sour songs but yeah what's her fandom called there really isn't one there's no name for the rodrigo no no that would be a good one though um maybe i'll create one tonight we'll see are you having some drinks are you doing dinner that's another thing too um well i'm probably gonna roll right from here like i'll just go straight from the office to the United Center, but when I watch football, I really don't like to drink a whole lot because I like to be locked in. And if I drink a whole lot, then I'm not locked in.

And I don't know if I bring that to this. You don't want to be drunk at a concert. I don't know. That's insane. I don't know. You've got to be dead sober, dude. Not dead sober, but I got too drunk and I couldn't lock in.

I let myself let loose. I like to focus on the... Also, I will put it, I've only been to two concerts in my life, so I'm trying to get more into... Wait, can we guess? Oh, that one was at my school. I don't count that one. Okay.

Both of them were at Penn State. Both were at the Bryce Jordan Center at Penn State, but I've only been to two. Very different ones. So right now, who's your number one option of going with? Is it Kaitlyn Walker? I mean, just, yeah, the fact that she's most available and she's here and we can absolutely –

Your Twitter DMs are set to verified users only. Oh, a highbrow man how do i change it um you'll probably have a lot of girls asking you to buy them drinks there yeah that's fine just because they aren't of legal age oh and that's not fun that's not fun i take it back i take it back um okay i'll change it right now tj I'll try and figure out how to do that. I don't know. This should be fun, though.

I'm so excited for tomorrow. I'll come wearing the outfit tomorrow. Yeah, you'll probably come tonight. Yeah. You'll be, all right, uniting centers after the United Center. That's good. Thanks, man. All right, well, good luck, Connor. Thank you. Yeah, man. All right.

Well, good luck, Connor. Thank you. Yeah, I'll figure it out. Oh, yeah, I'm getting dudes asking for the Rodrigo ticket. Yeah. Bring a dude. Yeah, bring a dude. Bring a dude.

Actually, wait, wait, yeah. Why don't we get a dude? That was the one stipulation. My one fear was that you were just going to take, like, Nicky Smokes or something. Which, yeah, I was not. Keep him away from the. I don't know.

I just don't. I want, like, again, like, the best content to me. I think you can take a dude. Just not. Caleb. I want, like, again, like the best content to me. I think you can take a dude. Kalen Walker's the best content. Kalen Walker's the best content. Yeah, you should just say Kalen. Okay. But also maybe check out those DMs.

I'll monitor the DMs and we'll see how it goes. Yeah. All right. Yeah. It was a good yak, everyone. Please subscribe. So tomorrow will be our last yak of the week. We're not going to do Thursday or Friday because we'll be streaming all the tournament games.

Let's go out with a banger tomorrow. Let's go out with a banger. All right. Thanks, everyone. Thank you, Donnie. Thanks for having me. And we didn't, the name wheel, we already did the wheel. People are going to be like, why didn't they do the wheel?

We already did it. We're fucked. We're going to have to, we're just going to keep getting wet or name wheel. How is it not landed on reset? Yeah, that's an option feels impossible need that reset all right see you every tomorrow It's the act. Get your straws, yeah, style and tape for a while.

It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act It's the act Make sure you DM Connor. If anybody sees him at the concert too, snap a pic, tweet it out to Yak, send it to me, whatever. Bye.