The Yak - The YAK All Stars Return For Another Packed Show | The Yak 4-5-22

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. What's up, everybody? Not the show that you were expecting, I'm sure. Not the show I was expecting. I should have done a hand up. I should have done a better job of communicating with my team. I know a lot of people were out.

I thought that a few more people were back today. Brandon texted this morning that he is sick, so he will be for Potentially a couple days But yeah we got the gang in here We got Smitty and we got Tommy Smokes myself Roan is in an Uber on his way here He said yesterday he would be back for the show Probably missed the beginning of it so He will be here very shortly Scraping the bottom of the barrel

Steven Che Don't be so hard on yourself I'll talk about you Tommy And we got KD Stats in here. Almost national champion. Katie Stats. She didn't blow a huge-ass lead. That was a tough look for you guys yesterday.

Very wide-ass lead. We had the Baylor thing. I tweeted out at halftime. I was like, we blew Baylor. Everyone calm down. Like, this is not over yet. What's your shirt mean? So the back says, Fear God.

It's, you know, like every college has a campus preacher? Like, that was ours. We had Gary. Maybe it's a thing in the South. But, like, there's, like, some religious person who just goes and, like, yells at people. We had Gary the preacher. All UNC people will know this. They have a sign that says, Fear God.

Stop sinning. Think, like like Roman 316 on it so southern colleges are basically like street corners in New York City yeah like it's a very very niche UNC shirt I can only wear it when I go to campus or other bars or people think I'm a religious preacher so wait does everyone at school go to church on Sundays no not really I mean a decent amount do but it's not like oh if you don't you're weird how interesting that was not even i mean that's a school in the northeast not even a thought there's a i uh went to fordham a jesuit school with you know priests and a church on campus never stepped foot in it once in four years what does jesuit mean is this a religion it's like catholic but like different, I think, or some shit.

I went to technically a Lutheran school. I still don't know what the Lutheran religion is. You went to a Lutheran college? Yeah. Oh. No idea. You never went to church, I assume? Well, no, I went to church.

I was raised Roman Catholic, so I had no idea what the denomination of Lutheranism is. What does everyone think happens when we die? I think you do go to a... I believe in heaven. I do too. I feel like it's a hot take nowadays, but there's it. Yeah, I think most people are like, oh, you just die, you become dirt. You go in the soil, you fade to black.

Actually, this conversation with my wife the other day, what do you want to happen when you die? I want to get cremated. Where do you want your ashes to go die? I want to get cremated. Where do you want your ashes to go? Raymond James Stadium. Oh, okay. That's illegal,

first of all. It's illegal? Oh, yeah. What do you mean? Somebody tried to do that at the link and they had to sneak on during the game

streaking them out like the father's ashes. They must have not been very good at it. Oh, then I'll have my kid do that. It's pretty easy to do. Yeah, it'd be super easy to do.

Carried it in plastic bags. Just dump me out everywhere. That kid do that. It seems pretty easy to do. Yeah, it'd be super easy to do. Carried it in plastic bags. Just dumped me out everywhere. That's essentially what he did before he went to jail. I mean, he probably got like a ticket. Well, there's a jail underneath the Right, right, right. Something happens. Yeah. Don't know what.

But Katie, what was the back and forth with you and Rico yesterday? Because I was paying attention kind of, I was very, very invested in the game, but I was eyes on the screen. What was going on between you and Rico Bosco yesterday? So basically, I think so. I forget what the first thing that started it, but I texted him. I was like, you're on Kansas. Because he was like, oh, no.

He tweeted out, like, not great when UNC went on a run. So I texted him. I was like, oh, you're on Kansas because he's on Duke. Doesn't respond and then he goes on Twitter and does the whole mush thing with like oh congrats Kate um congrats Katie congrats Katie because I remember before I was like yes I saw that that was a halftime yeah like just when it did um I remember I initially tweeted him like if you mush this like I will public I will put like you respect people when people text you to actually not put on Twitter for a second i was like if you keep on doing this i will put this on twitter he did it himself and i was like one fine you know

what sure like i'll do one response and be like you mush this isn't on you but he just kept on doing it like that's i want to see his butt slips like if he had a serious amount of money on it that's he did have kansas futures but like reading yes and i thought it was like plus 900 plus 13 which is like sure but like if he had like several thousand dollars then okay fine i'll back off but if you had like five dollars on it and he was just hammering at home like it's my school you can you can shit on unc don't tag me and caleb just like over and over and over again like i just and I'm sitting here watching the lead go, and like, we can only get along very well. He FaceTimed me three times.

I declined every single one. I don't know, like, I wasn't watching the stream. This was post-game or when they were making the run? Last five minutes of it. Oh, boy. I don't know whether he

was going to do it in jest. I didn't watch the stream at all. I just like, did it, did it. I said, fuck off. He said truce at the end. I turned my red receipts on and left him on red. I was like, once I see the bet slips, watch the stream at all i just like did it did it said fuck off he said truce at the end i turned my red receipts on and left him on red i was like i'm once once i see the bet slips i'll either calm down and get really pissed off oh no bet slips i mean i'm fighting words like i feel like if it's

like a five dollar thing to do a future because like i sprinkled like little money here and there like if you went to kansas sure but like dude my school and, it's my school, and you're just, like, talking. I'm like, no. I just got pissed, and I was like, you get blocked by everyone? Like, let's go. I just don't want to see it anymore. Like, I still got tagged in it. I was like, no.

Yeah, like, going back to the Bucks-Rams playoff game where I died in my seat, basically, you know, there's a video of, like, Marty and Ev, like, rooting for the Rams. And I think that's fine. Like, they weren't, like, rubbing in and being like, fuck you, Steve. But they're rooting for their bets. And they should. Like, rooting for your bets versus, like. But you shouldn't, like, cross the line to be, like, a dick about it. Yeah. Because also, like, I think it's the difference between when it's a bet, when it's someone you're actually, like, a passionate fan base.

Like, you're a huge Bucs fan. Like, I'm sure I'm more UNC football. But, like, come March Madness, everyone's all in. But I was, like like also the tagging like if you just like like unc don't choke but like at me every single for the followers so it was yeah but like we've interacted a bunch i don't think i got too much but i was just like like i don't want to see it like um i'm in a group chat with viceroys for march madness and they were talking shit i left it i was like i don't want to see this just like i need to focus on the game just like pissed. I was like, I don't want to see this. Just like, I need to focus on the game.

Just like pissed off. I just left. Because I don't want to like say mean stuff. So leave the personal out of like the bets. So don't say like, hey, I'm going to come to New York and smash those nerdy glasses in your face if somebody doesn't get over to an emphasis, right? So that was, and I assume they're going to leave it in for tonight.

But the story with that was I got a text from eddie late on monday that was like hey have you talked about the bruce aaron stuff yet i was like no he's like you want to come on um the important show tomorrow and talk about it i was like oh sure whatever um so we're talking about dave for a couple minutes and then uh what i saw on instagram was that uh dave and big cat hit Cat hit Brady Manic over two and a half threes which was a very exciting bet for Saturday as the go-ahead bucket I was early too I'm surprised no not last night on Saturday it hit with a minute and a half left I think very exciting bets I saw I'm celebrating that I did put out a pick I've been hot with NBA prop bets I put up a pick for the Saturday early game which did not not hit one rebound short. But then I gave Big Cat my pick

for Brady Manic. And I guess he gave that to Dave. And Dave was telling me on the show, like, oh, I took your pick Saturday. I didn't hit. And I was like, well, I saw you hit the Brady Manic. He was like, that was you? And I was like, yeah. So we were talking a little bit more. And I was like, I got one for tonight. I felt really, really good about it. And what's super funny to me is if you see the clip, he's just kind of like making fun of me. And then I say I got a pick, and he's just like all of a sudden like full attention, like what is it? And so, yeah, Christian Brown, over two and a half assists. I had everything riding on it. I made a bet myself, which was large for what I place um but nothing compared to what he did and he

that 80 grand before he even heard any of the data he was just he was just like all right i just put it i was like do you want me to tell you about it first do you um so yeah he said that he's the gentleman who bought shake shack because glenny balls said like people are gonna start eating like didn't listen to their own lunch we got got hungry at lunch well how it's so weird rooting for an assist like it is because it it is by definition a subjective right and then i saw you tweeted the one that could have been an assist it could have been and they can actually during the game they can actually go and correct it can they change it after the game i think so but i don't know what like the window is for that right um so

it got off to a great start literally the first possession he gets an assist i'm like all right my biggest fear was he would be going to halftime with none at least you're at one and you only need three it's like all right like you'll probably be fine um so brown played the entire first half and didn't get another assist um kansas was not making any baskets we had nine baskets at half um but you know you can make fun of the data was showing that if they scored 22 baskets right about there um that he would get three i got a phone call at halftime from a very angry big cat and dave and dave was not talking on the phone he was in the background just cursing me out and i would um yesterday was a very weird day because the whole that happened at 11 45 noon and the whole day i was not nervous

at all like when uh you hear about these stories about like oh tom brady before the super bowl like took a nap like wasn was 0% nervous. Do you think that's comparable? In terms of the stakes, yes. In terms of the personal stakes, yes. Because if I had lost that bet and it had zero assists or one assist at the end, But it's not you.

It's the data. You always have a scapegoat. No, I didn't do it. It's the fucking data. I'm just following the data. I wouldn't say it's a scapegoat. You never worked against them but like legitimately you're just following the data yeah i don't have an agenda i had no dog in the fight i wasn't specifically rooting for kansas or north carolina i literally just looked at every single prop i

looked at every single number and that was the one that stuck out and of course it's still a gamble because if you know if remy martin doesn't make that three-pointer maybe he finishes at two assists um you know uh there were a couple other opportunities where he had the fast break and then um you know there's a wide open pass to jaylen wilson for an open three and he misses that so it's definitely a game of bounces but it was a very very good feeling as soon as he got the second one to open the second half i was like all right we're running more. I was confident. And, yeah, cash with about ten and a half minutes left in the third, and I was on absolute cloud nine.

Didn't he end with three? He ended with three, yeah. I mean, there were opportunities, but he ended with three, and there was the one that was kind of questionable in the first half. But as long as it's three or more, that's the name of the game. So I was very happy. And, yeah, we'll talk, I'm sure, more. But that's the name of the game so i was very happy and um yeah we'll we'll we'll talk i'm sure more but that's that's it's a great move for me personally just because i i have earned that

trust not only to win that bet but then or to get the trust for him to actually place a bet like that but then actually paid out and i was on my way home yesterday and Dave was texting me about picks and stuff like that. Uh-oh. What, is that not good? It's good until it's not. Tommy knows. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing at points, but the lows. Yeah, Tommy, when did you officially become the... And all it takes is one loss.

Yeah, what was the term? Used Comrag. Used Comrag was 2019. 2018 was Good Luck Charm. What was the term? Used cum rag. Used cum rag was 2019. 2018 was good luck charm. 2019 was used cum rag. It's a little different for you because you're like giving the picks. Like you're putting in the research and stuff. I was just sitting there.

I had no control over anything. You at least have like an air of control over it though. Fair. But yeah, I mean, you've seen it with a million people. I feel like throughout. Like if you give a loser or a lot of losers, it could. Fair. But yeah, I mean, you've seen it with a million people I feel like throughout. Like if you give a loser or a lot of losers

it could. Yeah. The last time I gave Dave a pick was we were in the Philly house when the sports book first launched

and this gentleman who was fighting cancer ended up coming to the house and we shot the shit with him outside for a little bit. What?

He just showed up? He was a story. We planned on meeting beforehand or whatever um uh met up with them and and just you know shot the shit and uh ended up getting a pick from them i think it was the rams uh over the the washington football team in washington really sloppy game and it was like minus six or something maybe even more uh for the rams and uh for the game i was like oh well this kid came like he gave t-shirts whatever and i was just like yeah he uh he has cancer but he gave a pick and uh just like well i could take the cancer kid pick now and the rams were down like early and he's like well fuck you smitty fuck you taking the cancer

guy gotta take the cancer kid thankfully the rams But it's like, what's the upside here from giving him picks? It's like, yeah, natta boy. He did get $5,000. I will be getting it. True. True. What? I mean, I've been here a long time.

And it's always, people in your guys' position, it's always very rare for him to say, good job. Oh, yeah. I got a great job and a good job it was nice you also won him eighty thousand dollars yes no for sure that he i mean he would have placed it on some other prop but yeah i was very happy that my name was attached to that it's a fickle game what's an average uh steven j unit look like or do you not want to share um i mean i spread it around i can go heavier i mean uh a heavy bet for me is like 100 bucks um but like i spread it around so normally in any given night depending on how many props i like i could have anywhere from 25 to 100 bucks on the line but spread between a few props if i really like a prop like my favorite prop of the day i'm you know decent 50 bucks or

so and we're responsibly yeah responsibly that's that's within that's within my means and day i'm you know decent 50 bucks or so and we're responsibly yeah responsibly that's that's within that's within my means and um i'm happy to say that i put money in at the beginning of football season i still have that money and more um in the account so not bad good that's a sick fucking brag yeah responsibly yeah i had a good football season basketball took an absolute beating in the first month I was doing it, but I've been very good lately. But yeah, what's going on with you? With me?

Or are you looking at Sa or T? Oh, sorry. Smitty. You're looking at it. Big interview the other day. Yes. That can be released, right? Is that coming out today?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Bryce Harper. First time, long time with Roan and myself. It's good. It's good. He's supposed to sit down for like 20 minutes and end up shooting the shit for an hour and it gets really, really

he's just honest. He's not what you would think he is. He gets kind of the try-hard mentality sometimes, but he's just genuine. Fellow member of Team portnoy yeah yeah i wanted him on the yankees so well he talks about that he talks about the yankees talked about

being offered from the white socks and like how he was close and like sits down it's a it's a really uh really good i was just telling smitty before i was going through some some mlb predictions before looking through the teams i think the phillies. The Phillies are my dark horse World Series. And that's horse shit. I hate that. I think they're just really good. They haven't made the playoffs in 12 years, and then Tommy Smokes. Jack Wheeler, Aaron Nola.

What's the third guy's name? Suarez. Ranger Suarez. Yeah, that's a solid top three. Kyle Gibson's not bad. They improved the bullpen. Bryce Harper, Kyle Schwarber, Castellanos. They have a softball

hitting home run lineup Gene Sakura Didi I mean Didi's not what it used to be JT Romito that's a that's a jacked team yeah I don't need a team I don't need this jinxing mojo from you it's not a jinxing mojo it's a jinxing mojo from like you and Chris Castinelli saying oh there's no way they should miss the playoffs what the fuck you Chris I think they're gonna win the world I'm gonna go on the bar they're 2200 on the bar that, Chris. I think they're going to win the World Series. I'm going to go on the bar. They're $2,200 on the World Series. That's outrageous. What are you doing? $100 to win $2,200. Just because your team stinks with Brian

Cashman just being the king of apathy up there. He doesn't give a fuck. I mean, I hate Brian Cashman as well, but I think the Yankees will make the playoffs. Six teams make the playoffs. I think the AL is pretty weak. Was it Frank that said the Yankees weren't going to make the playoffs this year? the playoffs i think the al is pretty weak was it frank that said the yankees weren't gonna make the playoffs this year probably frank had a meltdown over jared eickhoff earlier all right frank he said uh taiwan walker gave up three straight home

runs of 500 feet i i have uh sitting across from frank it's it's you have to differentiate frank facts from reality so that he'll say things where I'll be like, I don't think that's true, Frank. I'll have to, but sometimes he does tell the truth. So you have to just think about it and be like, okay, 500 foot home runs happen almost never. So three in a row seems very unlikely. Probably didn't happen. There's a lot of good bets on the Barstool Sportsbook,

one of which is the longest home run of the year, 495 a half or over i mean well what you got to think about some of the longest ones but you got to figure somebody in colorado is gonna launch one 500 feet one of these days but what if what was like longest one last year i don't know data i don't know anything about baseball you named 20 baseball players i couldn't name 10 even after you said that. You can't name 10 baseball players. Second meeting. You can name 10 baseball players right now currently playing. Probably right about 10.

Honestly, I don't follow baseball. You live in America. I do. Dude, baseball. Oh, my God. Just name 10 players? I feel like you would like baseball. I feel like baseball is so statistics driven. Yeah, it's a huge analytical? I feel like you would like baseball. I feel like baseball is so statistics driven.

Yeah, it's a huge analytical. I feel like I would love baseball, but the time commitment is insane. Like, 162 games? If there's 160 NFL games, I'm sorry, I'm out. Like, too much. Yeah, but you would be the king of, like, stat nerd ball watching. I feel like you dominate fantasy baseball. Yeah, the lefty pitchers for the first three innings on games over 70 degrees

like have this era like you'd be you'd be rebelling out over that yeah but it's just too big of a like it's too big of a time commitment like if i had to do if i was just covering one team's game for a day that's three hours a day and then you have to do that 160 times and that's only with one team so like you're not just like live tweeting every pitch you can go back and just look at stats exactly what's going on they could have other stuff going on all the games on i mean no i feel like honestly and this has been my plan for a while i'm not just saying this um when i retire and move to whatever destination i retire to i will actually buy in and like that baseball team because i'll have time to actually say that like 30 years and you say that like you have unlimited uh opportunities to retire anywhere you want you're retiring like

maybe one of three places no what are you talking about dude if i don't what are the top five steven chair retirement destinations arizona hawaii hawaii does our baseball team that's true damn major hole in an otherwise flawless plan but then i could just like someone that's you know as close as possible anaheim seattle dodgers dodgers yeah whatever seattle yeah do the dodgers still have that guy that throws peanuts behind the back, or did he retire? Do you know what I'm talking about? No.

They're like peanut guy. Wasn't he like a famous dude? Famous peanut guy? You mean a guy who stands? I'm a fan. No. Neither. He's a peanut guy.

Yeah. You mean like a vendor. Concession guy. Yes. Yeah. That's correct. And you like throw it behind the back? I think a lot of teams. i've checked out on following concession

all the concession yeah after uh after the philly peanut girl turned out to be a nazi true story pistachio girl you guys had pistachios at your games oh yeah pistachio girl would absolutely come out and belt out pistachio and then turned out she was like publicly a nazi was she publicly nazi at the games or i don't think so i don't think she was just like tossing out mine conf with the pistachios but like i think that's a fire pretty quick yeah behind the scenes there was apparently like a little bit of a little bit of stuff going on as a as baseball fan, it's a big rite of passage to travel to a bunch of different stadiums, right? Yeah, I've been to, when I was younger, me and my parents would go see the Yankees at a new stadium every year pretty much.

I've been to maybe like 22 or so. Really? Wow. I've been to the entire AL outside of Tampa Bay. That stadium notoriously sucks, right? Yeah. You want to talk about retirement goals. I picture that just being your retirement, traveling to different states and doing different...

That's another thing. My dad has been to all 50 states. I've been to 37. I'm trying to carry on the tradition and get to 50. North Dakota is going to be tough because I've been all around North Dakota except North Dakota. So I'm going to have to end up going to North Dakota just for North Dakota. You can stop by and have a little Bismarck action. Yeah, I don't know know i'm not caught up what counts is that like transferring i have to have

two feet on the ground so taking a connecting flight uh so that's the the trickiest one i don't count that i don't have i luckily don't have anywhere you should have to have a meal in the state no two feet down two because like nebraska i went to nebraska for like 10 minutes put my feet down stopped at a mcdonald's and you had a meal i don't think i had a meal i think i peed you marked his territory yeah mcdonald's uh shamrock shakes are just phasing out i believe one of my favorite seasonal item snacks we'll do that sometimes you've never had a shamrock shake? No. I feel like a lot of people have hot takes on,

or maybe a hot take is liking the actual like mint flavor of the shamrock shake. But I like mint chocolate chip ice cream. I feel like people hate mint chocolate chip ice cream. Shit. You know what? I just remembered TJ's back. We didn't do a wheel yesterday. Oh no. Yeah.

People are pissed. I got tweets right after the show was done. I was like, oh, fuck. Hand up. That's on me. It was a little bit of a scramble drill yesterday as far as everyone being like, we need to get the logos for T-Ray before a bunch of stuff as far as who is going to be in and whatnot. I thought it was just going to be me and Michael Greer until two minutes before the show.

Talking about a data blow job, hitting you right in the face. So a lot going on that that's totally on me. So let's, let's do, let's do the wheel. Hopefully Roan comes back during the show and he doesn't have to get wet. But at the same time today,

I wouldn't hate today as a wet day, but I know that I do not want to be wet. I know big cat doesn't want to miss a wet day. But I know that Big Cat... I do not want to be wet. I know Big Cat doesn't want to miss a wet day. Oh, shit. So, if you guys don't know, if you can bring that back up, TJ, the pink sliver there is the slap wheel. So if that lands on it, then we have to do a slap wheel.

And then basically, two of us will get slapped by other members of the cast already have a headache i could see this ending with smitty slap remember when you were about to slap me smitty but then you didn't i forget what that was for it was a man like real life man it was a mad over a madden bet but then he held and he didn't do it i offered clemency yeah it was nice mercy yes you win balls balls actually because we would play madden in in the game time room when it was whatever. And we would have specific bets. And one was a slap bet.

Oh, a slap was on the line before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. That's a huge difference. Balls was like quivering like before. I wanted to slap him. And I just like get him a big wind up and just a little tap. Oh, I remember that.

Yes. Yeah. You're just going to manhandle balls. I mean, we did a slap wound here. Oh, no, I know you guys did. Snack the shit out of each other. Brandon Walker knows how to slap. I mean, I think HR can look over the yak doing that smitty in the game time room.

I mean, that's a little questionable. Eating the shit out of balls all right let's get this wheel over with so if it's dry nothing happens what's food wheel uh if it lands on food then we um we would get to pick we would do a wheel then for who gets to pick what food we all order oh that sounds kind of cool yeah no then that's certainly if i actually have my lunch ordered i i was about to go pick it up but i'm doing the, no, that's certainly. I actually have my lunch ordered. I was about to go pick it up, but I'm doing the act instead. So that's true dedication.

Company man, I appreciate it. Yeah, that is the food wheel. All right, I'm rooting for food wheel for sure. I'm kind of low-key rooting for slap. But let's see. All are dangerously close to wet. Wet is the worst. What's a wheel reset? Just spin again.

So every day that we get a dry, we remove a dry. So the chances of getting wet or getting slapped or food get higher. So at this point, what does a dry get replaced with? It would just be. It's 20 slices on the wheel total. Oh, so it would just be 19. Yeah. Correct.

So each day it gets smaller. Or sorry, the chance of web being bigger but let's uh let's do this thing tj spin that sheet easy money um i don't want to lunch i have said and i bet this will get called out out later by someone that's on the group text, but last night I was looking for ultimate karma going into the national championship game with the bet, and TJ brought up in our group text that nobody did the wheel.

And at that point I had realized, oh shit, we did forget, that's on me, that's my fault. So I volunteered, and I'll follow through with it when everyone's back. We can do a slap wheel with one person gets to slap me, me that's my fault so i volunteered and i'll follow through with it when everyone's back we can do a slap wheel with one person gets to slap me and that's my fault um for the show who do you want to slap you the least not only in the yak but like in the office i mean it'd probably be really bad if like erica slapped me. Yeah. I don't know who. I mean, dude, Brandon has not only. He's just like a bigger guy and has like heavy hands.

So getting slapped by him sucked. I bet Coley's got a good slap. Coley's got some meat hooks. Does he? Yeah, he's got some big hands. I got an easy one. Tico. Oh, the nails.

Oh, my gosh. She should probably take her eyeball out. And you know she ain't holding back. She's definitely slapped someone before. She's getting a free slap on you. Remember when you got tased? Ebony tasing. That was a wild time. What was that for?

Me and a former employee were playing NCAA football. That was the first ever Twitch stream that we had. That's a yes. Yeah. It was like 15,000 concurrence, uh, just watching us play NCAA football. It was a close game and I ended up losing. And then we got banned from Twitch for, uh, inciting violence. So is it fair to say that, um, big cat and coach Doug's are part of your coaching tree?

I did not say this, but Big Cat said it on the record, on the rundown, that Coach Duggs would not have existed if it wasn't for Smitty. Actual Coach Duggs? This was before Coach Duggs was hired. So everyone in the Coach Duggs coaching tree is under the Smith coaching tree. My coaching tree, A, has nothing to do with me because the talent has shown itself and was succeeded here regardless. But my coaching tree is actually very wild here.

So it's like Roan, Mooj. Who else was on this? Fran. Fran. That's giving me some gu guff that's major guff he was on the staff apparently TJ would you be a part of my coaching tree if we said so

I don't know how they define it I guess so yeah I mean you're certainly one of at least the coordinators of that tree right I'm putting Zal on my coaching tree. Fuck you, Zah. Oh, yeah, for sure. You deserve that.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. No, but everybody, like... Can we replay that clip? I love... It's a long-time clip. I love looking at Smitty's bewildered face in that hat, that stupid hat.

No, but Young Sound Bob helped Trey animation. There's a lot of people here behind the scenes. face and that hat that stupid hat no but ever like young sound bob like help trey animation there's a lot of people here uh behind the scenes so but like rowan would have found his way here probably it's succeeded anyway fran would have succeeded here but like speaking i didn't if i didn't answer an email no fran right like that's it butterfly effect yeah brethren roni baloney i just think it has been i enjoyed it all were you actually watching you're actually watching yes i was watching my bad let me close the door but my main qualm early on in the show tommy said that there's only like three destinations where you retire and then you're like no there's not said that there's only three destinations where you retire. And then you're like, no, there's not. And then you listed exactly three destinations.

Exactly. Well, no, there are multiple more. There's only three destinations where you would retire. I thought you asked me the top three. No, he said I have unlimited destination spots. It's like, no, you don't. Obviously, you don't. You can literally go anywhere.

You can, but you need to start rooting for. Yeah, if I followed that logic, I would have to be in one of the states that a baseball team is located in. And I feel like North Carolina, South Carolina, good retirement spots, no baseball teams. I think they're going to get one soon. North Carolina? Somewhere around there. Charlotte.

The Durham Bulls? Vegas and Charlotte I think should be two spots for expansion baseball. Who'd want to go to a baseball game in Las Vegas? It's like the most fast-moving city. I would. That's stupid. You're stupid.

You're going there, Sin City, to gamble, to go to pool parties, to do all this fun stuff. Fuck chicks. And you're going to the slowest thing you could possibly go to, which is a baseball game. Dude, they probably have slot machines and blackjack tables and pools and fucking VIP clubs. Like, why not? I guess I didn't take that into account. You do anything in Vegas.

People watch fucking Gallagher bust a fucking watermelon in Vegas. You watch people go to Carrot Top. They're not going to go see the Yankees? Chris Angel? He's there sometimes. I'm free to see Chris Angel. Carrot Top apparently has a pretty decent show there. Luxor.

The most jacked red-haired comedian that I know. The only jacked red-haired comedian that you know. What about Francis? You guys just shit on Francis. No, Carrot Top's more jacked than him. Yeah. Is he? I think so.

I don't know. As a guy who's met both, I think I'd take Francis' facility. Really? If I was getting my body slapped on this one. Francis has a more chiseled face for doing chiseled face rankings. I don't know about that either. He's old. He's on the old.

Carrot Top's Botox? Yeah, he's Botox. Yeah, he's heavily Botoxed. I remember, Tommy, when you were hitting the gym and we were on the day porn. Oh, yeah. Me and Dave. And I couldn't see you as, like, a jacked figure, because it would be, like, carrot top, just like a jacked person,

but, like, the weirdest face to go along with it. It was like the SpongeBob cartoon. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, look, it was a decent run I had. My arms were legitimately huge. I had, like, biceps, triceps on top of my biceps. No. I did.

No, you didn't. Look at this one video. No, you didn't. Is that what one video. No, you didn't. Is that what you were looking for on your phone? No, I was looking at a paratuck. Actually, you had shoulders once. I remember touching your shoulder. Yeah, you actually specifically complimented my shoulder

while I was wearing this shirt. But you weren't jacked. Was it that exact shirt? Yeah, it was this exact shirt. I'll never forget. That's fucking weird. Is he? No, there's nothing.

Talk about it, Steven. There's nothing. It's firmer than i thought yeah there was like it's girthier than i thought thank you it was the definition for me it wasn't always here than people think because they think that you have a pencil dick because they think that you're thin um what's up dudes sorry i'm a little bit late how was your trip sucked i saw your tweet you got it so you got in it i mean you're a veteran of the game but What's up, dudes? Sorry I'm a little bit late. How was your trip? It sucked. I saw your tweet. You got in at, I mean, you're a veteran of the game, but you got in at a reasonable time.

What'd you get in at, like, 7 o'clock? Yeah, like 6.37. What's your frequent flyer miles like this year? Nice? I'm probably at, like, 35, 36 flights this year so far on Delta alone. Are you going to be like that guy up in the air, George Clooney? Would you get like a million miles or 10 million miles, something like that? I don't know. Some people in here actually do. Like MB has an insane amount of miles. She said she hasn't

flown in anything but first class for like the last six years or something like that. Is that what points does? I don't understand credit card points in airline miles at all. It is pretty sweet. They just bump you up to first class. Like on the way down, they just were like, you get to sit in first class now. But you don't buy a first class ticket?

No, you buy a regular ticket. But then if they're sold out, then you're screwed, right? Then you just sit in a regular seat. But then you have sky priority, get on early, go to the Delta Lounge, you know, have some dog food in the Delta Lounge. That's in the delta lounge exactly is it cool it's mysterious no it's for people who think they're rich it's like people who like to sniff their own farts and like feel good about themselves feel like they're getting some something like uh exclusive but really all it is is like shitty hummus and like a michelob ultra right because

if you were actually rich you'd be flying like private yeah exactly it's like mid-rich people who are like differentiating themselves from the rest of the airport but they're like you're not that rich right is that a plane is that a real thing like a lot of people do now is fly private i know dave's done it and i know uh you know pat did it a couple times when he was here but like the people do that on the reg i think they do it on the reg you can afford it and if you're rich isn't it like 30 grand a flight yeah but some people are rich dude i can't even comprehend do you know the inequality in this country you know what the top one percent earns compared to like the top two percent let alone the top 20 the 99 yeah they're basically i get like very agitated if i buy a flight and they charge for bags so i I can't even fathom $30,000.

Is Dave even top 1%? Of the entire world? No, definitely not. The 1% is fat. Definitely. That's what I mean. I'm saying there's a lot of room in the 1%, but the 1% of 1%. He might be in that.

I don't know. Are you saying that he's not even 1%? I don't know. I'm not saying that's a knock on Dave and his net worth. I'm saying the 1% owns that much of the wealth. No, but there's not that many 1%ers. There's 2,770 billionaires on the planet, so Dave is part of the 1%. He's not a billionaire. He's a billionaire? 2,000 billionaires? That planet. So Dave is part of the 1%. He's not a billionaire.

He's a billionaire? 2,000 billionaires? He's close. That seems like a lot anyway. He should have been more on that prop. 2,700 billionaires? He's not a billionaire, but he's close enough where he's definitely in the top 1%. Yeah, there's 6 billion people on the planet.

If there's 2,000 billionaires, then Dave definitely is in the 1%. But he's not a billionaire. Why are you... Because he has at least 100 million, we'll say. Based off knowing that there's 2,000 billionaires. How many 100 millionaires are there? Because that's where he would fit in. What's 1% of 8 billion?

8 million? That's a guess. Dude, a billion's a big fucking number. 80? Definitely more than 80. It's 800, people. You know, if you count... Tommy, if you count to a million there's one percent of eight billion is more than 800 tommy if you passed 80 million yeah it's 80 million tommy if you passed

80 million yeah dave is definitely one of the 80 million richest people in the world you passed a million seconds just like one two three four it would take like eight days or 15 days for a million seconds it would take like 30 something years for a billion yeah yeah yeah billions a lot I wasn't disputing that that doesn't make sense at all check it out

I said 8 or 15 I forget the actual stat that doesn't make sense at all it's a lot more but growth is exponential, though. Maybe it's 30 days for 15 for a million, but it's still 30 years for a billion, 30 days for a million. That doesn't make sense at all either. It doesn't, but again, data boy.

I wonder how most people become billionaires. Most people who are billionaires. Go ahead, Zach. According to Smart Asset, you have to earn close to $600,000 a year to be in the top 1% earners in the United States of America. All right. So anyone that makes north of $600,000 is in the top 1%. Oh, so Brandon Walker is in there. That's just America, though.

That's just in America. That is just in America. But also, we're the richest, though, right? Isn't Dubai crazy rich? I don't know anything about Dubai. Dubai, you just own a tiger. I don't even know where Dubai is. I am so bad at geography.

United Arab Emirates. Is it? Is it in the United Arab Emirates? Wait, is Dubai not a country? I thought Abu Dhabi's in the United Arab Emirates, but Dubai is some other place. Saudi Arabia? Saudi Arabia or a city? Is Dubai in a country?

Because it's like man-made, isn't it? Dubai is not a country. It's just like a fantasy. We're exposing ourselves as the dumbest human beings alive right now. Where's KP? It's one of them. Math. Dubai is in the UAE.

It's an emirate? It's one of the emirates. Yeah. One of the emirates? There's multiple emirates? What's an emirate? United. It's above Yemen the Emirates. Yeah. One of the Emirates? There's multiple Emirates? United. It's above Yemen and Oman.

I remember that from when I memorized a map. Oh, man. God damn it. You uniced him and I goddamned him? We're not on the same page, Tommy. No, we never are. So what does that look like for you? You fly in.

It doesn't happen. You just, what, go to sleep and come back in the morning? Is that kind of how that goes? Yeah. You've been obviously very hot, and you hit the winning cities most times. No, not without Caleb. Not since I partnered up with Lil Sasquatch. You were in Cincinnati, weren't you?

Was Sas there last night? No. Oh, no. He was in Denver whooping it up. But, yeah, we just got there, went to the place we were supposed to watch the game, some barbecue place that's right by the intersection, and they didn't win. And we kind of, like, the owner was nice to us, so we kind of hung out with them. Somebody pulled up a basketball hoop on the back of a school bus,

and so they, like, I guess to get off the energy in, like, a North Carolina way, they just all, like, people just played hoop in the street. That's awesome. Was it 10 feet? Oh, definitely. That would all like people just played, played hoop in the street. That's awesome. Was it 10 feet? Oh, definitely. That would drive me nuts.

If it was like 12 feet, I actually, I don't think, how are you going to get it correct on the back of a school bus? That's a good question. I got to look at it. Maybe it was a, it was a little bit income.

If you're trying to play ball out there, like you want to play actual ball and you know how to play, but if you're shooting at an 11 foot jacked hoop, I've never seen a hoop that's been higher than 10 feet. It's always lower. It's on a fucking school bus, Stephen Che. It's not like a normal basketball hoop. This dude's playing on the... That's sick.

That's so wholesome. Yeah, it's just wholesome as fuck. It was like N1 mixtape style. There were people announcing the game. Who's your guys' favorite N1 mixtape style. They were all just people announcing the game. Who's your guys' favorite N1 mixtape player? Escalade. Big boy. Professor.

Ayo. Ayo. Ayo is from Philly. Ayo is my favorite also. Was he? Yeah. What did you guys like about Ayo? Black Widow.

Huh? Black Widow. Black Widow. He was tall and he had just incredible moves. He had a one spin move where he'd put it over the guy's head and put it behind Widow. He was tall and he had like just incredible moves. He had like a one spin move where he'd put it over the guy's head and put it behind his back. It was incredible. Wasn't N1 like a product of King of Pressure?

Yeah, it was. The guy who started N1 was a, I think he's from King of Pressure or some shit like that. Somewhere on Westchester Pike. It was a, I don't know how it became the N1 mixtape tour because Skip to my Lou, Ray Ralston. Wait, but are you just saying a guy who was in it or how did it,'t know how it became the A1 mixtape tour because... Skip to my Lou, Ray Ralston. Wait, but are you just saying a guy who was in it?

Or how did it, is that how it started? He was the guy, yeah. But how did it start, though? Why did this white dude from, like, Westchester, Pennsylvania decide to start the greatest streetball movement of all time? That's a good question. Sounds like a 30 for 30 intro or some shit like that. Well, Ray Ralston was the skip to my lou was

like the original guy and is that true or is he just the one you remember the most i mean he was n1 mixtape volume one like he was the guy yeah he was also a very successful like college and nba player he could hoop yeah um but it's mainly him and then... Oh, yeah, that's it. That's VHS. Oh, damn. No, this is the actual in-one mixtape. It's just grainy. What are you singing, Tommy? I was singing the... Any relation to that song?

I don't know what song that is. Do you know what I'm talking about? Shorty get down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? Oh, diggity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? No diggity. No diggity. There you go, Smith.

Black streets. We're not that stupid. We might not know math. We might not know geography. We might not know the parts of a bull. I was getting absolutely flamed yesterday by people being like, you fucking idiot. You don't know shit about bulls.

I got a lot. All right, hold on. Bulls, cows. I just don't fucking know then. All right, sorry. You don't know shit about bulls. I got a lot. All right, hold on. Bulls, cows. I just don't fucking know then. All right, sorry. No, I want to ask Smitty. Smitty, what do you think of cows of having a specific gender? Male cows or bulls.

All right. Wait, what? Male cows or bulls? I thought we established that's not true. I thought we said it's like squares and rectangles. No, you said that, and no one agreed. Right? Not all cows are bulls, but all bulls are cows.

Yes. No, we can't go down this road again. People were so mean to me yesterday, being like, these guys don't know shit. We watched Jackass on our date night this weekend. Did you? Lots of bull footage. Lots of dick footage on our date night this weekend. Did you? There's lots of bull footage. Lots of dick footage. A lot of dick footage.

Jackass or which one? Jackass Forever. Yeah? Yeah, just needed a night to let it out. Very funny. It was the most penis heavy of all the Jackasses. Extremely. Because I went back and watched a couple of the other ones.

Also, Jackass did exactly what Dude perfect does way before dude perfect did for more hours and they added in nut shots to all of it like they're extreme like exponentially better than than dude perfect dude perfect just wants to be there like a clean version of jackass dude perfect never got in a bullring exactly johnny knoxville but like they they were doing things where like for hours like for like 16 hours in, they'd like hit a basketball with like a baseball from like a football field away to try and hit someone in the nuts or whatever. That's not Dude Perfect. That's Mush Madness. It's true.

They stole it from Mush Madness. Trick shots do put asses in the seats though. Like I've heard of Dude Perfect, but for the first time a couple weeks ago, I was like, oh, let's see what all what all these losers are about and i was like you've heard that's the first time you watched you perfect genuinely if you like impractical jokers it's like as much as you like them you are a dude perfect ball washer it's so different one's comedy versus like comp athletic whatever i was i was like i was like all these fucking losers but then i have a few of them. It's pretty impressive. There's something about watching trick shots that doesn't get old.

I don't know. To me, it has gotten old. Because early on in quarantine, it was like trick shot. Marble racing. Yeah, big trick shot time. I would prefer marble racing. Marble racing is great, though.

I would way prefer marble racing to a trick shot. We were talking about this last week on the bracket. When's the last time you guys played or even touched a marble? That question or Stephen Chay, right now in the world, or I guess it was 10 p.m. At 11 p.m. last Tuesday night Eastern, how many people do you think were playing marbles? Like the game marbles.

In the world? Yeah. That's less than 10, Eastern. How many people do you think were playing Marbles? Like the game Marbles. In the world? Yeah. That's less than 10,000. I would think it's pretty... Even Che thought there was zero. There's not zero of anything happening. Marbles seems like a... I wouldn't say like a third world game,

but in places where you don't have the ability to like hop on a PS5. I could see marbles and jacks. We hypothesize that it's big in India. Yeah. But it was also nighttime in India, or very early morning. You don't think people are running games in a back alley at 4 a.m.? There's always at least 100 people playing marbles in the world, I think.

I don't know, man. Definitely. I haven't even seen a marble in 10 years look at you you're such a doubting Thomas dude do you need to stick your hands in the fucking wounds you need to see something happening to believe that it happens is doubting is that that's not an offensive

term right no it's biblical okay but like you've never seen someone play high lie but I guarantee there's thousands of people playing high lie high lies chucks and fucks. You do not want to get hit by High Lie. High Lie is the most the fastest projectile

in the world that you can be hit by. Like, thrown. And there was a jackass scene about that I believe in one of the old movies where they used oranges and then they got hit by High Lie players. It was classic. It was a classic time. Those old jackasses were

incredible. The early on jackasses and where I was watching the jackass cribs over the weekend when they went to Steve-O's house. Steve-O was just obliterated in Los Angeles.

He had like a half pipe inside his house. A bunch of Budweiser's all over. He was definitely fucked up off pills. Then they went to fucking Bam's house in Westchester. They were beating the shit out of Phil. They went to fucking Ryan Dunn's house in Westchester. Bam Stoll. Oh, he is still alive.

Is he? I think Phil's still alive. No, Uncle Is he? Ben Margera's dad? I think Phil's still alive. No, Uncle Vito's dead. Yeah, Don Vito's dead. What was Don... And he got canceled. He got canceled. Yeah, he was a pervert.

Yeah. The big heavy guy that Ben Margera used to beat up? Well, there was his dad and there was Don Vito. Don Vito, who was that? Was he an uncle or was he just related to them? I thought he was an Uncle, but I'm not exactly sure. Was he on April's side or was he on Phil's side? Tommy, you sound like you never watched Jackass.

I don't. I watched maybe a little as a kid, but I'm very unfamiliar. Can you watch Impractical Jokers instead? The PG version. I mean, I would argue that Impractical Jokers is funnier. And a show you've never watched? Well, look, I mean, just the concept, Jackass is what? Oh, the guy got hit in the nuts?

Tommy, Google. Impractical Jokers focuses on the awkwardness of human interactions and stuff. To me, that's way funnier. No, you're making one seem super detailed and the other one seem stupid. I could be like, oh, Impractical Jokers, what's that? You tie a balloon to somebody's belt in the freezer aisle? It's not their best challenge. And I could be like, Jackass shows the depths of human camaraderie.

Four lifelong friends who compete to embarrass each other. Tommy, you need to watch the Jackass where the one gentleman dresses up like a terrorist and gets in the cab. Okay. Yeah. That sounds funny. Layered that comedy is. I have a confession. I've never watched Impractical Jokers.

Neither have I. I don't even know what channel it's on. True TV. Surprise people. It's their cash cow. Shots fired, Bar Rescue. Yeah, Bar Rescue. Bar Rescue was Spike.

I just assumed it was the same thing. Spike TV versus Truth TV. Or did they take over? How did TBS get out of that bundle of networks? Like, TBS was just like a regular-ass fucking network, though. TBS was like the CW or just like a random-ass channel that nothing was on. That you watch Friends for like three hours on and now They like host the national championship game annually. It's very come up. It's very surprising. The game is not on CBS yesterday

Yeah, why wasn't it? Yeah, I did that on Saturday. I went to the final four as I got, you know, 802 What was on like dangerous minds or something? Yeah, something like that. It's just like, what's going on? Something Midwestern like Housewives would just riot if they missed. Wouldn't you want the main programming that everyone's talking about being on the main show? I agree. But the watchers of Chad need to... I mean, they'd be upset if they went to turn on Chad and then there was basketball on. Are there more people watching Chad than...

Playing Marbles? Yes. Marbles seems like a very niche thing. I bet there are clubs in Scotland or Ireland. It doesn't make sense, though, because it's a game for kids, but it's also... I can't think of a bigger choking hazard than marbles. Is it a game for kids? Do adults play marbles?

I feel like... I mean, some adults play marbles, yeah. I i mean some adults play marbles yeah i mean maybe i'm just thinking of um i'm more of a mancala guy i'm unfamiliar you never played mancala no zai you never played mancala no what's mancala dude mancala is an african game not maybe if you just maybe you call it something we could probably call it something i don't swear we're from mancala dude it's like a game where you have have marbles, beads or something like that, and you have to move them through... Oh, yeah.

So where I'm from, we call it Zorro. Zorro? Zorro. T-S-O-R-O. T-S-O-R-O. Dude, look at Mancala. That's a sweet game. Have you seen Mancala?

They had this in Club Penguin. What's Club Penguin? I don't know Club Penguin. It was like an open source web game. Yeah, open source web game. It's Club Penguin? I don't know Club Penguin. It was like a open source web game. Yeah, open source web game. Fuck all the Penguin tricks. You take them back to your igloo? What? Yeah. Dude, focus on the mancala just for one second. Watch these penguins talk. Are those rocks or jelly beans or marbles? I think that they're rocks, but they're marble-like, though. That's what what got me on to it dude mancala was a sweet ass game do does the color of the rocks matter no i don't believe

so i i'm still not understanding because you're dumb but uh we we i would uh i would love to see how it's made on marbles just to see, how do they get the swirls in there? You know what I mean? How do they do it? Marbles are fascinating. Also, when you shoot a marble, are you supposed to just throw it, or are you supposed to, like, pinch it between your thing? And is it a flick, or you just pinch it until the pressure shoots it out from your hand? Ooh, good question.

I don't know. Thank you, brother. Sure. Yeah, I don't know. We gotta shoot some marbles. I don't even know how to play marbles. I only know jacks. I think it's like a mini version of bocce ball. You gotta get close to something?

Yeah. Is that really what it is? I think so. That's what Feidelberg kept saying. When? We talked about this on the bracket last week. You guys have already litigated marbles? Yeah, that's when Steven said there were less than 100 people playing marbles. Or said there were zero people playing marbles.

At that time, yeah. That's impossible. Zero chance marbles is extinct. But also quite beautiful. Is this how it's made on marbles is extinct. I mean... Is this the How It's Made of Marbles? Yo. Ask and I shall receive. I love How It's Made.

Obviously. Marbles are made out of marbles? What the fuck? Rejected marbles? Damn. If Nick was here, he'd have a Jenna Marbles joke queued up off rejected marbles. Fucking missed that guy, man.

Look at that hot ass. That looks delicious. That steaming hot marble. Different sized marbles? How could there be wrong sized marbles if they're making certain sized marbles? There's something intentional about the size of the marble that you make. And now you're telling me that some of them are rejected marbles? That's literally a year's supply of marbles for the world. You wish, dude.

You are really discounting marbles. Hey, did you never have marbles growing up? You probably just never had marbles. And so you quickly had them a childhood of marbles. I did have like a bag. A little crown royal bag of marbles? Yeah. These channels separate the good from the bad.

What is a bad marble? Weed out the ones that are too big or too small. So these are the rejected of the rejected marble. What is a bad marble? So these are the rejected of the rejected marble. And these will just be turned into more marbles. They do look nice. I know, it's very pleasing. They're like little planets. Yes.

Imagine like a big one. Handmade? I always wonder about the people who work in the factories where how it's made comes to work. You only see their hands. This girl's got some neck action. Which one is it? I'm not sure. Oh, so it's a glass blowing art.

Thin as a noodle. He'll use them in various colors to decorate the clear glass cores of the marbles. This is like some, did you ever watch that glass blowing show

that's on Netflix? It's fucking awesome. It's so calming. This shit is very calming. All this work, marbles should be like $100 each if this is how much work goes into one marble. calming paper which won't stay it is very calming all this work marbles should be like a hundred dollars each if this is how much work goes into one marble

marble should be like one marble no i'm proposing to my girl with a marble not a diamond one marble yes he's rolling the cl Oh, this has got to be multiple marbles. How? Well, just wait. Why are you talking so authoritatively? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Damn. segment onto colored glass slivers called ribbons. Damn. After rolling them in the furnace to melt them,

he flattens the ribbons with pliers. This is like some ASMR. That's what I mean. It's so calming. I feel like how it's made was original ASMR. Like, who even pays for how it's made? Who is in charge of this? Taxpayers, probably. I think it's the taxpayers.

Is this some science channel? Taxpayers pay for everything you think everybody that works in the science channel is smart as fuck? or you think there's some fucking idiots over there? it's funny when you think about idiot scientists and doctors it's funny when you think about idiot scientists and doctors it's funny when you think about idiot scientists and doctors also like

there's other jobs besides scientists besides channel gift shop worker? gift shop attendee? You know, there's other jobs besides scientists. That's a total of six layers for this model. Gift shop worker? Other models have fewer or more. Gift shop attendee? The craftsman shapes the glass with several... I feel like a lot of doctors are bad people.

Is that true? Should I see that through? I feel like doctors... If you're a doctor, one of the best ways to make a lot of money is to do something unethical. Or just be in the pocket of big pharma or something like that. Oh, yeah. Which is like indirect contradiction of a Hippocratic oath of saying you're not going to do any harm when it's like people get into medicine because they want to make a ton of money because it's like you, it's a guaranteed way. You're going to be rich if you get into medicine, if you become

a doctor. And so you become a doctor and like the ways within that to be guaranteed rich is to like be in the pocket of big pharma. I feel like there's like a significant percentage of doctors who prioritize like making money and being part of like uh a pharmaceutical companies like a cog in the wheel of that machine as there is just people who are just like i'm gonna be a good-ass doctor have you seen dope sick is that no i haven't is that about dope sick with michael keaton it's about the uh opioid epidemic with Oxy. Yeah, that shit is... Exactly what you're talking about. There's just a lot of people who are doing that.

And maybe not most, but it's more fun to say most. When I was graduating college, one of the careers that I was being pushed in towards was pharmaceutical sales. And what... By your parents? Yes. What... Because of the money. Yes.

What I learned was that it's basically a glorified like lunch delivery man like you basically have your set of doctors and you like drop lunch off for them every day just so they all start to like you so you can have windows of conversations be like oh hey this is this new drug for this and then once they get i'm okay with belittling doctors but not salespeople. Okay. You're not about to say that's all salespeople do. No, no, no. But like you'd have the relationship with them.

You would then get them to try out and like trial your drug. In which case, if they accepted it and it did well, then they would have like a quota for how much they're supposed to give away for a month. Sounds like a great job. Yeah. But it got me thinking because with dropping lunch off, the best place to get lunch from is Raising Cane's. Yes, sir.

Raising Cane's has one love, craveable chicken fingers meals, which is the perfect meal to have. Oh, especially for a bunch of doctors. I feel like if you brought Raising Cane's into a doctor's office, they would love it. They would go crazy. I heard the sauces are tremendous. I got to try these sauces when they come up here. Hank was just raving about the bread.

Yes, I saw it. It was very good. They're coming to Times Square soon. We had so much raisin canes this weekend. TJ, do you have the sauce? It's awesome, yes. What's the best sauce? It's just cane sauce.

They don't do sauce. Oh, so it's one sauce. They have ketchup and cane sauce. What is a cane sauce like? I don't know. It's like a special sauce. It's salty. It's sweet. It's a little mix of everything. It's like a special sauce. It's salty. It's sweet.

It's a little mix of everything. It's perfect. It'll be the largest Raising Cane's in the country. Opening date not announced yet. Wow. Raising Cane's is only using the highest quality ingredients to serve their customers great-tasting Chicken Fingers meals. Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers meals are cooked to order to ensure they're hot and fresh every time. Order online at RaisingCanes.com..com raising canes only has one left crippled chicken fingers meals

order online at raising canes.com i misread that it's even more impressive it's going to be the largest restaurant in all of times square it's going to be this raisin canes that's pretty crazy huge also i keep on hearing you guys say raisin canes. Raisin. Raising. Like the cane of a raisin. I'm southern, so. You couldn't be farther from southern. You'd probably choke on the oxygen in the south like someone who took their helmet off on the moon. You probably couldn't even breathe the air of the south.

You're the most northern dude I know, I think. Yeah. You must be thinking of somebody else. Give a southern accent, Tommy. Well, there well their partner i'm down here in south carolina i mean that's a texas that's more of a texas hello i could do a southern woman hello there sweetie an old southern woman hello there sweetie a little bit from georgia not from georgia if you want to come in and have some tea and biscuits i'm bad. Tied Tommy in a former life. I'm really bad at accents.

1800s old southern woman. I'm overall maybe the worst person at accents in the world. I could see you becoming a maid later on in life or something like that. A maid. Like an old woman. A woman. No, a woman maid. A woman maid.

I could see you transitioning. Yeah, but I don't like doing physical labor. Yeah. I think it would be more out of necessity because things took a negative turn and the only work you could get

is maid work there are male maids though yeah could I stay as a male maid or do I have to transition fine alright deal

I don't want to proactively bring this up but since we're talking about impressions and March Madness just ended I do have a Dick Vitale impression. Oh, really?

It's very bad. Let's hear it. But I enjoy doing this sometimes when I'm driving around in my car. I won't look you in your eyes when you do it. I'll kind of close my eyes so I can really zero in on it. Are you serious? He's a... Sorry.

Are you serious? He's a PTP, a prime time player. That's good. He's super scintillating, sensational. I think that's pretty good. This is how you spend your time driving? Yeah. At picking my nose and listening to music.

You're a nose picker? In the car only. That surprises me. Billy, come on in, brother. I only like to pick my nose in other people's cars. Billy, come on in, brother. I only like to pick my nose in other people's cars. Billy, take a seat, brother. Just curious what you've been thinking about. Just what you've been

doing without your big cat, your PFT, and your Jake, and your Hank around. I've been doing a lot of self-reflection. Yeah? What have you learned? Uh, I don't know. Oh, fuck.

I've just been creating content by myself, TikToks. That's fire. I went to the St. Peter's Elite Eight Appearance Parade on Friday. How was that? That was pretty cool. They did a parade? They did a parade in Jersey City. It was actually pretty cool. Wait, they did a parade? They did a parade in Jersey City. It was actually pretty awesome.

The whole city was out there, all the high school kids. It was actually pretty cool to see. Because Jersey City, because they live in the shadow of New York, they never get that much. They don't get their shine. They don't get any shine. Which is whack. This was their first shine on the national stage. So that was pretty cool.

They put Jersey City on the map. Exactly. That's cool. That's what I've been doing lately. Billy, what kind of shit have you, what's something that you've learned recently that would surprise us? Something that I've been Googling recently?

Or not necessarily Googling, but just something you've learned that's like, wow, that's weighty information that deserves to be shared. I was doing something a second ago. Oh, oh yeah i was delving into strongman competitions okay there's one strongman who the european strongman contest of course was recently won by a ukrainian um who was training in ukraine for the strongman competition while training to defend Ukraine. So there's these crazy videos of this gigantic dude in tons of body armor.

Looks like a video game character. I don't know if we could pull it up. That would be actually pretty sick. Okay. What? So it's just a Ukrainian strong guy. Oh, the triple cup? Quad cup?

Is that lean? No, no. It's green tea. I drink a ton of green tea. I've just joined the green tea train. I have one today. Tea tribe. It's good for gut health, they say.

Dude, I just chug this all day. We have it in the office? Yeah. Watch out. I've been a tea drinker specifically for like a decade. My kidneys. Not testing 100% right now. Why now is it the tea that's what we're thinking well you're drinking black tea or green tea you've got other drinking all the tea

unsweetened though unsweetened black tea though right yeah yeah i've been going green green tea and they're a big like response i haven't gotten one in a while but bigly hugely responsible for like kidney stones and stuff which seems like it'd be a problem i gotta get off coffee i gotta fix my gut i've been watching all the gut health tiktoks and green tea seems to be one solution you Usually responsible for kidney stones and stuff, which seems like it'd be a problem. I got to get off coffee. I got to fix my gut. I've been watching all the gut health TikToks, and green tea seems to be one solution. You graduated from shaving TikToks? I do like ASMR shaving videos, yeah, but they're not always on. I go to YouTube for that.

I've actually been looking into probiotics. I just started. So it turns out your gut is technically outside your body. When you think about it, it's an exterior. Well. No, think about it because it goes in this way, out that way. All of your organs are in between your skin and your digestive tract. So your gut's outside your body.

Yeah. Think about it. I am. It's like a donut. Yeah. Like what would you call the- Isn't your gut like in your body. Yeah, think about it. I am. It's like a donut. Yeah. Like, what would you call the... Isn't your gut, like, in your stomach? Right, but, like, you basically have a hole

that starts at your mouth and ends at your ass. It's one-way street, Tommy. And it's only inside your body when you're closing your mouth, pinching your nose, and clenching your butthole. Yeah. And that's the only way that you can... Dick up your ass or something.

...seal the orifices. Otherwise, you're just like gerbils. Yeah. I was reading up about probiotics. It turns out you can boost a ton of neurotransmitters and hormones just by

what type of bacteria you've been taking. Actually, this is something I have learned recently. I was researching T-boosting bacteria. There's this one called lactobacillus rutieri lactobacillus rutieri yeah r-e-u-t-e-r-i and that's supposed to boost your uh t i love that testosterone yeah i feel like your t's in a good spot i well i'm'm always trying to optimize it. It'll always be better. I mean, the modern male, we're exposed to so many contaminants that can mess with our health. Oh, yeah, this is it. Look at this.

Look at this dude. Is this the guy that drinks green tea? No, this is the Ukrainian. Look at that guy. That's a video game character. Dude. Wait, is this a video game or real life? This is Ukraine, bro.

Look at this. This guy's like 6'6", 350 pounds. Music. Awesome. Who is making this edit? I thought they were getting shelled right now. He's got two breast plates for shoulder pads. He's too big for armor.

I think literally why they told him to leave and go compete in the strongman competition was like, that guy is way too big of a target. Yeah, he really is. I feel like if you're too strong, it's kind of tough to be a good soldier. You have to be kind of nimble. You've got to be a skinny guy like Tommy.

I'd be a great soldier. Oh, dispensable. That guy's a huge target. Too big of a target. Corporal up on smokes. Did this just come out? This mixtape? This war mixtape?

This is crazy. It's only like 30,000 views. Yeah, this should have way more. But everyone's saying that it's a Mickey Mouse, Strongman title since Half-Thor retired from Strongman. The Lakers. Half-Thor, he got into boxing recently. Yeah.

He fought Eddie Hall, another Strongman, recently in Dubai. Yeah, wasn't that the heaviest boxing match of all time or something? Yeah, it was pretty insane. Who won? Half Thor. Half Thor's like 6'9". He's the mountain from Game of Thrones. Yeah.

He's the one. He's like the fucking one he's the one that we should aspire to i'd love to get his t readings probably insane probably fucking off the charts dude imagine just having the capacity for growth like that what a frame i feel like i wouldn't want that yeah because you couldn't handle it honestly because you're not built for it yeah it's too fucking big of. It's too big a task. Too tall in order. I'd rather just be in good shape than be crazy ripped like a bodybuilder.

You'd rather be Brad Pitt in Fight Club than a half-thor. Yes, definitely. Brad Pitt is ridiculously ripped in Fight Club. He's cut, but he's not like the Buffett's dude. You're saying you'd rather be cut than the Buffett's dude. Pull up a pic. I'd rather be Brad Pitt and Troy. I think Brad Pitt and Troy is one of the optimized physiques.

Yeah, because he was running. He was doing that jump stab thing. Yeah, throwing spears and shit. Spears, yeah. That's an awesome movie. That was one of my favorite movies. I agree. i think that that's one of the best action movies especially about like uh ancient ancient times way better than three he's ripped there he's oh way better than 300 i just better than alexander better than uh what are some of the other uh the only one

gladiator gladiator gladiator Gladiator's right there with Troy. Growing up, I always thought the ideal male physique was Chris Benoit. Obviously, this was before. Yeah. He could still be the ideal male physique. Yeah.

Separate the art from the artist. The body from the man. Yes, yes, correct. Troy or Gladiator, though? Which one are you guys? Troy or Gladiator? I haven't seen either. Gladiator, go. You haven't seen what? No. You know, in Gladiator, though? Which one are you guys? Troy or Gladiator? I haven't seen either. Gladiator, go.

You haven't seen what? No. You know, in Gladiator. You got negative T, bro. Probably. What were you about to say, Smitty? In Gladiator, Ridley Scott had to take down billboards of Gladiators on the streets of Roman times, because it looked too unrealistic, but that's how it actually was.

Yeah. Billboards up. Yeah. He was in deleted scenes, right? He got an olive oil deal. Augustus Aurelius got an olive oil deal and he was on it. Sure.

That was what it was. The deleted scene. Possibly. Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. But it's like how the mind like perceives one thing in one way,

but it actually was another way, but nobody believes it. You're just hucking olive oil? Sure. I wonder when that started. Were they doing that in like Apocalypto times? Apocalypto. Have you ever seen it? I've seen Mel Gibson, right?

Yeah. That movie's fucking sick. But that's like... Actually, no. That might have been after Gladiator. It was around the same... That was after Gladiator, technically. But they also have smallpox in the movie,

which is historically inaccurate. Because Cortez didn't come and start slinging. They had small... Wait, wait. Didn't they have smallpox? So they had small... So at the end of the movie, the Spaniard ships are there, right?

No spoilers, but yes. But they had smallpox before? In the movie, the Spaniard ships are there, right? No spoilers, but yes. But they had smallpox before? In the movie, yeah. I think that's actually historically correct. Because there was, before major European contact, there was a huge population decrease in the Americas, which is why they say that there was such a... People were poxed up? which is why they say that, like, you know, there was, like, such a...

People were poxed up? I think, like, there was, like, fishermen who washed up and gave... Could be. I wasn't around. I don't know. Yeah. I think you got to check that out. Maybe... All right. Because there was a serious, like, pandemic that, like, took out a large percentage of the population of...

Damn. ...the Americas before, before like Columbus even came. Damn, that's devastating. Yeah. You know how there's like false information that like AIDS was started because someone had sex with a monkey? Well, you know what it was? That's not true. That's not true.

No, no. Did you hear what it was? dude in world war one the this troop stationed in africa shot a chimpanzee and ate it as bush meat that's where they traced it to but why but i mean of all the history of like a people eating meat but i'm sure that like uncivilized humans in like the four billion years before also were like fucking animals like there's no way that like a horny human didn't like fuck an animal before they knew what was right and what was wrong and then suddenly we're getting like these very specific pandemic level but like think about a chimpanzee that had to come from a chimpanzee have you ever heard of travis like

you couldn't say chimpanzee i wouldn't have an amorous That wouldn't be an amorous type encounter. You'd have that that wouldn't go well for you. That's true. That's true. But what about other animals though? There has to be some kind of animal. Goats, for example. Sheep. Sheep. I think that's too far removed. Cows for sure, because who figured out how

to milk cows? You're probably just like, yo. I saw something on this recently. Is it 10,000 years old that out how to milk cows? You're probably just like, yo. I saw something on this recently. Is it 10,000 years old that we've been drinking cow's milk? 10,000? Yeah, and only Europeans were able to do it. All Native American people are lactose intolerant. That might be a generalization, but a lot of Native American people are lactose intolerant.

Their ancestors didn't have cows. There's certain populations in sub-Saharan Africa that people are lactose intolerant. Their ancestors didn't have cows. And there's certain populations in sub-Saharan Africa that also have. Yeah, and no, not lactose intolerant. They have high lactate tolerance. Yeah, and India. I mean, India, their whole religion is based off of like. I mean, that's. There's more than one religion in India.

Like Hinduism, like the cow is sacred because it's such a... But do they still drink milk though? They drink a ton of milk. They allow cows in certain parts of India to do whatever they want. Yeah, they don't... They don't fuck with them.

So cows just like run the streets. They're like... They simp for cows. They own businesses. Yeah. Yeah. And they use... I think they use a lot of cream in their cooking.

They love the cow. But they don't eat cows, right? No, they're straight vegetarian. Chocolate milk should really be much more popular than it is. Yeah. That's my tummy. It upsets your tummy? More than regular milk?

Yeah. Well, in kindergarten I threw up after drinking chocolate milk. Once? It usually upsets my tummy. It could have been something else that you ate, though. No threw up after drinking chocolate milk. Once? It usually upsets my stomach. It could have been something else that you ate, though. No, it was the chocolate milk. It's usually not the last thing you eat. Do you only use tummy when talking about chocolate milk?

Like if you were saying I had bad sushi, she still ate tummy. I'm pretty tummy across the board. Tommy's tummy. Tommy's tummy. It just fits, so I don't really have a choice. It's crazy that we were all just raised by by parents like someone just had a i was thinking of that when i was when i was driving over watching the three of you guys that you were just like raised but you're just like the product of of your parents

and stuff like that well try raising these fuckers i know that's what i mean it's like such a massive undertaking like your parents your parents had a huge undertaking to be like, I'm going to raise Smitty. I'm going to raise a Stephen Che. That was a big-ass decision that they made, and it probably took a lot of their energy. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I apologize to my parents a lot for all the hijinks I got up to in elementary and middle school.

I don't know about you guys, but I just wasn't very well behaved when I was younger. Yeah, you were high T. Don't apologize. Do you guys relate to that? Yeah, my parents were always like, Tommy, you're sneaking out and fucking all these chicks again every night? That was most of my high school career. They didn't say that.

We got Tommy fucking another chick again in his room. No, not like that. I'm talking about teachers calling home like your son is... Yeah. I don't know. It's like, why are kids badly behaved? Why does that shit happen? Going through the airport, I was wondering the same thing.

Why are some kids just running and screaming and other kids are just chilling there? Do we think it's genetic or do we think it's behavioral? I bet it's behavioral. we think it's genetic or do we think it's behavioral i bet it's behavioral i bet you're environmental i bet it's environmental as far as why people yeah if kids don't have structure and they don't and they don't deal good with change if you spring a change on them they could react in an unpredictable way my wife wants us to not tell our son no anymore which oh that's a bad sign i knew someone who did that well the kid's a psychopath thanks billy but it's it's it's not it's not like telling them not to do stuff it's just trying not to be a negative and use the word no so hey we shouldn't touch that we shouldn't put the wires around your neck we don't do that but it's getting rolled the wires around the neck you should be a little more assertive shouldn't yeah you shouldn't do it

what it's like i don't not but it's also shouldn't is should not and not is like no it's like yeah it crosses tough it's tough to like be a purist of never saying no but then what happens when someone else tells him no? I guess he cries himself to sleep. I'm not sure we haven't got there yet. Are you going to be a beater? A beater? If I'm not smacking you and Glennie Balls after a game of Madden, I'm not...

Come on, Tommy. It'd be funny if people were open about that. Like, yeah, I'm going to be a beater. My grandfather used to bring out the stick. Did it hit you with it? I got it once. My brother's got it a lot. Where did you get hit with it?

On the backside. Like your butt? Yeah. I thought it was a classic thing. Wooden spoon. Yeah. I never did. I feel like a wooden spoon wouldn't hurt that much

unless you hit it with it in the face. He used it more as a threatening device, but occasionally Poppy had a little too much medicine. Poppy got some medicine. He got the stick. Rest in peace. Wooden spoon is an Italian thing. Yeah.

It's an Italian just whacking somebody. It's pretty. Everyone's got wooden spoons. Is it? I'm not going to throw my family members. Yeah, they have wooden spoons too. Then I don't know why I thought it was an Italian thing. Maybe because it

stirs the gravy. I think that's what I was thinking. I think it's the first thing they reach for because it's more round. Because they literally spend every waking hour in the kitchen. There's like what's the funniest thing? Books. Oh, to throw at people?

No, just in general books discipline tool oh yeah it's what like make them read it no to hit someone with it yeah percussion instrument you guys get the soap growing up no i've never heard of it i uh got uh almost once and i locked myself in the bathroom and said i was gonna to call Child Protective Services. You did? I feel like that's such a Tommy move. Oh, yeah. Pro move. We had to kneel in the doorway with our hands behind our back.

Wait, what? Yeah. For what? Being bad, I guess. Kneel in the doorway with your hands behind your back? On the ridge. So you couldn't touch and hold yourself up. On the ridge?

On the ridge, yeah. Yeah. That was rough. They hazed you. Pretty much. That is very fraternity. Pretty much. Pat and Linda.

I had to get on my elbows on bottle caps. So Smitty, in high school, we would take that a step further, and then you'd put your head on the ground. So you got your hands on your back, on your knees, head on the ground. Yeah. It's an impeccable torture method. Shoulder for like an hour. An hour. I don't think I made it past like five minutes.

I definitely don't want to get tortured. I mean, waterboarding, like once you got to high school, right? Something like that. My parents just internalized a ton of guilt in me that still troubles me to this day. That was their method. Oh, we did that too. Just make you feel guilty as fuck. Just make you feel that sweet-ass Catholic guilt.

Nothing like Catholic guilt. Tommy, you know. Yeah. No, not exactly. I'm not exactly following. You're not Catholic? I am Catholic, but what do you mean Catholic? You don't have Catholic guilt? What does that mean exactly? Like an impending sense of

guilt over every over like everything in life i never feel guilty oh really one of my best qualities really yeah oh you're a scumbag yeah i don't have a good uh what's the word um moral compassion compassion i'm trying to work on my compassion you're not compassionate yeah i'm trying to be more your sociopath i think there's an argument to be made that I could be a sociopath, yeah. Yeah. A girl recently told me I'm the most narcissistic person she's ever met. Oh, wow. Not to brag.

See, you're a weird one because your perceived narcissism could come like around as just being funny and quirky yeah not narcissism but it could it could absolutely be real narcissism and like i really do focus on myself more than anyone else by a lot gotta take care of number one you know what i mean i also think every human does that yeah i think i just do it better i'm the best you're the best all right maybe she's right. What was the context of this conversation? It was lighthearted.

It was. I was like, yeah, you're probably right. I'll be better. Pain in the fence, so. Damn, she was like, she was dressing you down? I forget what it was.

You had to say, I'll be better? Yeah, well, I do think I'm pretty narcissistic. I do think I'm self-centered. So why are you trying to be better? I think I should care more about other people. So you can hang on to this gal?

No, just in general. Just in general, I think it's a good quality to care about others. Because you're afraid you're going to lose this woman. Cat's back. What's up, brother? I need people to shut the fuck up. Stop complaining. Who's complaining?

Online. I was in the Uber coming from the airport. I was just smacking around all the crybabies who were like, why is no one on the yak today? We have a pretty full group.

Sorry guys, I was mean. People are bitching. People do bitch. The fact that these people are on the yak is like they're in the office fucking working. Think about all the other people that just don't come to work or just are never here. I know it's a minority, but every now and then I get a little like, fuck everyone. No, I mean, you guys are. Obviously, I know the Yak's still going on, but people are like, oh, where's Big Cat?

Where's KB? Where's Nick? We're literally out making content. No one's taking days off. Only Sass. Except for Sass. Brandon Walker today. I am Brandon Walker today.

So I guess some people are taking days off. Not the people that they're angry at. Yeah. You guys are probably doing a great show. It's been fun. Hey, Billy, what's up? How are you doing? Ready to come back on the group text?

Yeah. Wait, what happened? He removed himself because that made sense. We were all in New Orleans except Billy. Dude, I was getting mad FOMO. I was just like, I can't deal with this whole weekend. It was a smart move. It was a very smart move.

Took yourself off the group text? Yeah. I like the FOMO. I like to see what another group of people is doing. It's not like you have to do it. No, but then like. No, there's a lot of like meet up. Like, hey, anyone want to like anyone out? Does but then like... No, there's a lot of like meet up like,

hey, anyone want to... Like, is anyone out? Does anyone want to go to the casino? That kind of stuff. Late night. Damn. Yeah. That does sound sweet.

Wings was great on Saturday. What was the best thing you ate down there? Raisin canes. Raisin canes is... I'm actually like craving it right now. So good.

I also gained like 15. Can you describe the sauce? Delicious. Is it darker sauce? Also, the bread is incredible. Yeah. Did Hank bring back some bread? I thought he was going to bring back bread.

No, he brought, they gave me bread last night. It was actually probably the only mistake in the Raising Cane's advertising yesterday. We went out to dinner and I ate way too much. And then they gifted me bread during the live stream and I was already ready to puke. But I did eat some because I love it so much. Your voice. Yeah, it's not good. I need to sleep for a while.

I think it's kind of cool. Yeah. All right. Sorry, I just wanted to tell... Oh, that's the show. ...idiots online to shut the fuck up. That's the show, Full House. These are the same people who are like,

why aren't you streaming? And then they're like, why aren't you spending time with your kids? And they're like, why isn't PMT YouTube up right now? And I'm like, why isn't this? And why isn't that? Just shut up. It's only a very, very few people.

But still, very small minority. Very small minority. The majority of people are smart and not dumb. Also, Smitty, did you like the end of the One Shining Moment video? I didn't see it. I didn't see the end can we play the one shining moment video I'm sure it's lovely

I requested one clip at the end oh yeah you could just go to the end I never even saw the clip actually yeah

until the one shining moment video it is a great video yeah how was UNC last night sucked yeah I guess that's true yeah go from here Until the one shining moment video. This is a great video, yeah. How was UNC last night? Sucked. Yeah. I guess that's true.

Yeah, go from here. Go from there. Oh. Great memories. That's a good ending. The thing that Dave never understood is the Eagles chant always plays. It's like doing a USA chant. Didn't have the Viva chants up there.

It always plays. Yeah, well, that one, I don't know if there was video of that. Thankfully. We'll dig that up. I think it got erased. Yeah, sorry. I'm here the rest of the week. Are you here, Ron?

Yes, sir. All right. Steven, you're here? Yep, I'll be here. Good job last night. Thank you. Tommy, you're here? I'll be here. Great. Smitty, you're here? Billy, you're here? Yep, I'll be here. Good job last night. Thank you. Tommy, you're here? I'll be here.

Great. Smitty, you're here? Billy, you're here? I'm here. Welcome back, Billy. Actually, Friday is my mom's birthday. There you go. Perfect way to end it.

Bye. It's the act