The Yak - The Yak Breaks Down the Case Race the Morning After it All Happened | The Yak 7-1-22

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

Lets check in on the boys after yesterday's case raceYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I still look a little like Derek Carr with my fucking eyeliner. What's up? Your mic's not on. Mine's low. Testing. Oh, that's good. I'm booming.

Is mine on now? Hey, guys. It's the Yak. It's the day after the case race Hello, hello It's literally the day after the case race This isn't Friday, this is Thursday Yeah Time traveling

I don't know, I really don't I don't know We haven't seen it yet either So we don't really know how this is going to come out So let's just piece it together. How much is usable? I think most of it. I actually don't think there was that much edited out.

I think there was some things maybe said. I'm going to go ahead and say there was probably a lot of stuff edited out because TJ, or not TJ, Quigs and Max are still editing. Right, but not big sections. No, no, no, no. Small sections. Correct. One word length sections. Bite-sized sections.

It's just the three of us, huh? Yeah, I guess so. I really needed Kate to be here to pick us up. I feel like shit. I was hoping that Che would be here. Yeah, he's coming. The anxiety on the text, Shane, was off the charts because I woke up and I was just like, all right, I think I know Che tried to fight Shane. I also kept repeating myself asking Shane for his Chinese food order.

That was bad. I don't remember that at all. I don't remember that at all. Che basically was just like, we're either going to fight or you're going to tell me your Chinese food order. That was bad. I don't remember that at all. Jay basically was just like, we're either going to fight or you're going to tell me your Chinese food order. And I was just like, dude, say the order. And

I just kept on being like, say the order. And Shane wouldn't say the order. I was like, I think this solves everything if you just say the order. And then it solved nothing. I was talking to Quiggs and he said Will Compton spoke the most but never once into a microphone.

Oh, yeah. I do remember Will just... Taking his pants off. Really? Yeah. I just remember Will just like being... Here comes Che. His face when he turned the corner. Yeah.

Come sit in here, Che. Oh, man. Yeah, he should sit in here, Che. Oh, man. Yeah, he should sit in here. Will was like, Will was one of the MVP for moving around the most. Yeah, and best vibes and peer pressure. Yeah, he took off his pants. We just made fun of his small cock and he just bounced around. He has a tiny penis.

He does. It's a grower, not a shower. Of course. No, I was talking to him. He said no much as is i love will though will will is an all-time guy yeah all-time guy every time my mouth wasn't on the cup as soon as i took it away from a giant gulp he'd whisper drink pussy that was that was oh i so this is just going to be an episode where we trigger memories so shane and ron won in an hour and a half. Or an hour and three minutes.

Sorry. Yeah. I think I drink to my limit. I drink 12 beers an hour and three minutes. Every time, Sash just kept on looking at me. And I was like about to puke because I was drinking as fast as I could. And he just goes, you got to chug. I wasn't.

Shut the fuck up, dude. There was a misunderstanding. I wasn't saying you need to pick it up. I wanted to do a synchronized. I know, and I was like, I'm at my limit. I'm going as fast as I can. I went well beyond my limit. 12 beers in an hour, that just shows how crazy Shane is.

If you told me I'd be drinking 12 beers in the hour, I'd be like, yeah, we won easily. I don't think Roan had a single beer. I don't think he did either. Genuinely. Did I have 11? I got 11. I think you might have and that's my my limit per hour is one and i i had seven or eight so that was that was where

it got so aggressive because it was like one hour everyone's blacked out and then yeah we're we're saying steven that i really do think that if Shane had just said his Chinese food order, everything would have been solved. 100%. I was. Anything. You would have taken any order. I said that to Brandon and Owen as I was being escorted. Your racist test with people is have you ever eaten Chinese food?

Right. That's nice. What if they have but Chinese food? Right. That's nice. What if they have but don't like it? That's fine. At least you try it. That's the easiest test in the world. Right. He's in the clear.

It was just a huge game of chicken, and I took it too far. Apologized to him multiple times during and after the show. And then obviously I apologized to all you guys i i said it on the on the group text and i don't know how this yesterday now i'm talking about yeah yesterday was will be received i'm sure the people be like oh this person was annoying we were all so fucked up we weren't beyond drunk chaos Chaos is what happens. Furious drunk, too. You can't apologize for being, like, I love to see everyone else blacked out on camera. It's not good. It's scary. It's bad.

It's just a bad idea. We're going to have to do it again, but it's a bad idea. Now, I will say that, or you can go. If Shane wants to come back, Kenny. I don't think he wants to come back. I don't think Shane is coming back ever. Yeah're right through the office you're right um i think definitely having guests changed the show entirely because it made it significantly more competitive i think yeah i think a large part was people saw how well last episode did and everyone wanted to

like flex throw it on on this one yeah maybe we go back to just the crew or at least like brandon if we have guests more guests like us not pro athletes or pro drinkers yeah but i think that that is true like we tried to guess and shane and will i appreciate them coming but yeah it definitely changed like the vibe of the room because it's you know last time hard to walk into a random show that you don't know about and be like, get blackout drunk. Last time was a lot more like just silly guys having fun drinking. We got silly at the end, I think, yesterday. I don't know how silly it was, this one.

I just remember going from getting really deep about how much I love my family to watching the Dometic Sioux highlights versus Texas versus Nebraska. I remember that happening within like 10 minutes of each other and being like, what's going on? I was early. I was way after. I was way late. We had some deep conversations early, which means that was like 15 minutes in.

Yeah. Again, it's basically like a real life fast forward button oh yeah i text dave portnoy oh what did you say i just wanted to thank him for the job what do you say i don't have his fucking number dude i'm joking that would have been so funny i would we're taping this it's 10 30 right now so i'm on the train and i was like you know we were all texting this morning sass waking up in the green room and all that and being like having sunday scaries did we mention that you tried to fight shane gillis yeah yeah yeah so covered that so um i'm like you know i sent a text apologizing to the group and absolutely mortified and i'm

like you know it probably wasn't that big of a thing. They were probably going to cut most of it out. And then I just saw the trailer. God damn it. Well, they did cut a little of it out because there was a point, like I was talking to Quiggs and Max who, shout out to them, they stayed late. Shout out to those guys. They're still here grinding.

There was a point where it just was the same conversation over and over. It's like, all right, people don't want to watch this. So I appreciate that. All their hard work. Fuck. Yeah. Fuck. It was crazy. I woke up in the green room so confused. Also, that room has no windows or anything. I was texting you last night and I

was like, hey, we live a mile away from home. There was no way I was making it home. You just refused. Going home would have been a bigger mistake than staying in the office. Why? Because I went home. You just refused. Going home would have been a bigger mistake than staying in the office. Why? Because I went out. We went out. Oh.

I went out with Shane and Fights. Fights came here, yeah. Yeah. Then so why'd you sleep here? Because we went out just across the street. It was the closest. We lived down the block. It was the closest.

Dude, it was less than a five minute walk. Home is a 20 minute walk. 15 minutes. All right. I thinkane might have a drinking problem he said he did i think i know that was a funny thing you guys i got a drinking problem that he drank it proved it what he beers he doesn't have a fighting problem i can oh that's true i might you put him to the test slap oh Oh and you fucking crushed me dude Oh you hit him hard

Holy fuck I was wondering why the back of my skull Hurt today That's why Dude you gave me a great one Damn that was good I'm actually scared now Because I blacked out

I think I had 6 or 7 beers I don't know I don't remember most of the show I'm actually scared now because I blacked out, I think, at six, seven beers. I don't know. I don't remember most of the show. No. You also came back. Well, your vibe was off the whole time, Nick, because you didn't have, like, as crazy as it sounds,

your alien face was less weird than seeing you without a hat. Yeah. I kept on looking at you being like, why does Nick look so weird? I'm like, it's not the fact that he's literally, his entire face is dressed like an alien. It's the fact that I can see his hair. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry for that. It's a little bit of a rough start, too, with the KB scholarship talk again. Yeah, he's sleeping with a hot is that.

I don't know what. Why does he care so much about that? So KB went on the rundown. He talked to me like an hour about it off there, too. He went on the rundown for the first time in what, three years of working here? He was like, that was exhilarating getting a takeoff and now he can't stop.

But he's gotta change the take. He's gotta do different things. He has like four takes that he goes through. KB also showed up wasted. Yeah, he did. He had a bottle of Pink Whitney because he was nervous. He was drunk before the show. That makes sense. He was like, well, we're gonna lose anyway so i just wanted to come and he was like i won't be able to get drunk off the beers i want to be drunk with you guys the whole bottle

oh my god yeah i could tell his uh he had an aggro he was very to him he was going through like apartment stuff which is not fun for anyone no he was celebrating he signed he's in he's good for the show oh yeah he was just drinking by himself upstairs. Oh, because I asked him to come down, and he was very not thrilled with that ask. Yeah, he had some work to do. Right, but what was he working on? On that Whitney bottle. Oh, that's what his work was?

Yeah. I feel like shit. I woke up to the fire alarm going off as well and i was like all right i was like dude i'm just gonna die i'll just burn alive there's no way i'm getting out of this room you did say you're gonna kill yourself a bunch oh yeah yeah no kyle did right kyle said he was oh no he said he was gonna tell people to kill themselves oh yeah that's right the amount i puked in the bathroom. I went into the stall. No, the one with the two stalls.

Went into the stall, puked more than I ever have, and I was blacked out. In between pukes, I looked down, and I was disgusted by who puked in there, so I went into the other stall and puked. It was bad. I had one moment. People probably will notice it on the video.

I think it was between 7 and 8 where I just stopped talking. And I think Shane was like, Big Cow, you're not talking. And I was just swallowing all my puke. Yeah. Just the burps. Not the actual puke, but when you're just, oh, man, it's about to happen. Fuck. Did anybody else puke?

I puked a lot. Yeah? I did not. I puked a lot at the bar that I was at. Really? Yeah. In the bathroom? Yeah, for like 10 minutes. I puked a lot Yeah I puked a lot At the bar that I was at Really Yeah The bathroom Yeah for like 10 minutes

And then I slammed a DC Went home Or not home Back to the office And then I got I can't think of anything worse Than going to the bar with you To stay ear

We were We had a good time We weren't there for that long I tried to do karaoke We were at a karaoke bar And I tried to go up And the guy was like Pulled out a list of sticky notes

And there was like 700 people in front of me. There was like four people at the bar. He was like, yeah, bro, you'll be lucky if I even get to you tonight. I was like, were people coming in from other bars waiting to go up? Who's that guy? I don't know. I like the cut of his jib.

Finance guy? Yeah. How do you know? Are you? They still work up there. He was the guy I would interact with. Ed Kim. Ed Kim?

I like him. I like Ed. I do too, a lot. It's a good name. I bought pizza on the way back, and then I got into the office and I dropped the pizza on the floor, and then I just picked it up and ate it.

There's footage of that somewhere. We need that pooled. I actually ate it at my desk too Which was funny You sat it at your desk Yeah Before hanging up Shopping

I don't even know what I'm saying man I don't know what Can we go with a dimmer light this episode Yeah I'm gonna need a long weekend of just Oh hey we're done for over a week Yeah we're not going to have another show until after the July 4th week. This is nice.

This is nice. July 12th is when we're back? 11th. 11th, yeah. 11th, someone owes a monster rip. Yeah. Should we spin for that? We also will...

Let's spin... No, we'll do another Mystery Monster rip that Monday. And then also, we got to do Nick's Wild. On Zah, right? On Zah. On Zah, let's tape that on Monday. Okay. Because we're going to run it on Wednesday.

We also never did Jeff's Trivia last night. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. Yes, we did. Oh, we did. Yeah, put the lights back on we can't people can't see us yes we did do trivia last night it was very funny it was actually just a battle between me and nick nick kind of bodied me i don't remember that at all yeah you kicked my ass yeah you had a four-person barstool face mashup you got it You sniped it immediately?

That's Thornton and Bruce Valanche. Yeah, that was a two-man, but there was a four-man. Wait, Che, you got that question. No, he didn't. You got it. I don't think I did. Yeah. Yeah. It's Rico, White Sox, Dave.

Mince's body and KFC's hair. Yeah. You nailed it. You literally nailed it like two seconds. Yeah. You nailed it. Like you literally nailed it. Like two seconds. Huh? That's impressive. I wouldn't have gotten the mints,

but also I don't know the team. So what? Uh, the Jersey narrows it down to three people. Yeah. Or just like, wait, go back to the tits.

That is a scary human being. Yeah, I mean, I want a composite of every barstool male employee, and that would have to be just the ugliest man in the world. Yeah. That would rule. It's like when they found that guy, when they're like, this is what men looked like 10,000 years ago. They tried to rebuild it, and the neck was slouched over.

It looked like a blogger. Yeah. They're just like, whoops. We they tried to rebuild it. Yeah. Neck was slouched over. It looked like a blogger. Yeah. They're just like, whoops. We've gone back in time. TJ, what do you, you talk. Yeah, please. Hey, what's up? Yeah, my guy.

How are you guys doing? I'm fine. I felt like I was going to have like a late push. I felt like shit all day after the Monster Rip. And then I felt fine like an hour before. That was the day before. Monster Rip was like two days before. No felt like shit all day after the Monster Rip. And then I felt fine like an hour before. That was the day before. Monster Rip was like two days before.

No, it was one day before. You still felt like shit from it? Yeah. Until like 4 p.m. yesterday. Damn. That sucks. And then I felt fine and then Gillis just went

way too fast. So I would never have a chance. Gillis was going at like a steady pace and then like we were like someone like egged him on. It was like, oh, like we're like we're Gillis isn't that far ahead. And then he just started literally hailing beers.

Yeah. He was just too inhaling them. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't even look like he was chugging them. Did he drink more out? Did you get another beer at the bar? Oh, we were drinking out.

We were drinking at the bar in the office for a while. And then we went to a bar at like three in the morning god damn are you two good me and shane you and big cat yeah we're yeah they were good i apologized for my behavior i said don't worry about it we were trying sass said luckily most of my behavior went down after the show yeah i said i said to him i was like the good news is you were way worse after the show than on the show but sass was like the baby i woke up and my heart was legitimately beating out of my chest with anxiety sass text me he's like i don't know what got into me i was like a lot of beer and very little amount of time it was audibly i was audibly you try to renegotiate your contract didn't you yeah i did yeah i was audibly just being like, what the fuck?

Just sitting in the green room. It was bad. And I also, like, he was, Sass was so bad, I started, I was like, it was like when you get in a bad conversation at a wedding and you're like, I'm going to go grab a drink. I went, I was like, yo, I'm going to go take a piss. I'll be right back. And 20 minutes passed because I did not go take a piss. I literally just went and sat with Ronan Shane. And Owen comes out. He's like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? You bailed on us. I did not go take a piss. I literally just went and sat with Ronan Shane. And Owen comes out.

He's like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? You bailed on us. I had to get out of there. That's brutal. I don't even remember. And Seth came and sat right next to us out in the bullpen area. And he just started the conversation right back up. And I was like, I want to kill myself.

Jesus Christ, dude. Worst part was that felt like 10 minutes. To Big Cat. And then you came in and you're like, I mean, we see the Mean Girls numbers. We were bonding over college football, and you're just like, so anyway. What if I peaked at 21?

That's what you kept on saying. It was a little bit of a crisis. What if this is the peak of my life? You have a great career ahead of you, Joe. It was a dark, what felt like 10 minutes. I think it was like three hours. You know what it was? You know what it was?

To be honest? Closer to five. Yeah. Shane put you in a torture chamber. Yeah, I mean, he was being an asshole. That first hour, I knew that we were fucked as a team because he just came in and was like, I'm going to mentally destroy Sam.

Yeah, he did a beer too. It wasn't even like he was he didn't want to be drunk yeah and then it was like after that just anything that he would say that was like trying to be nice i would just be like he's lying because he was just kidding yeah yeah yeah we had we actually had a good conversation after and i was like well i wish maybe that was on the show oh we saw some of it we were watching a new oh i mean like after that i know you guys saw him yeah then you were showing him clips of uh yourself his friend no yes actually yeah two of his friends i was showing him from louis now he hadn't seen the clip we were talking about planes and i showed him the clip from

louis where the plane crashes it's like one of the funniest episodes of any show I've ever seen. You guys can't go silent on me like that. I mean, I haven't said a word in like 15 minutes. I'm dying over here. Oh, man. During the end of that, TJ emailed you a picture. I texted it to the group, too. But right after you left, I think we were going back and forth. I think me, Sass, and Owen.

I just took a picture of Owen in the corners. That was probably minute 40 of the conversation. Oh, my God. Gazzo. Gaz is here? Yeah. Hell yeah. He's firing.

Today's firing day. Him and Tommy are matching exactly. I know. What? They're just wearing the same outfit. They're wearing the exact same outfit. What? It's firing. Today's firing day. Him and Tommy are matching exactly. I know. They're just wearing the same outfit. What? Also, it was like anxiety. My anxiety this morning was mixed of what did I do last night combined

with people walking outside of the green room. I was like, dude, someone's going to come in here and just see me laying on the couch. No pants on. Did you go pantless? No pants. I slept in my underwear. But you're just wearing shorts anyway.

Yeah, but you got to sleep in the underwear. That takes too far. He doesn't even know that we have a show going on, does he? I think he forgot that we're filming. Kyle just walked in. He left. Did he? Was that Gaz or Kyle?

It was Kyle. It was both. Both. Yeah, he left. I was that gas or kyle it was kyle it was both both yeah he left i think i felt bad i feel like i feel like we can't bring comedians around kyle not really vibe i feel like some people don't understand his humor right and kyle's like the funniest guy ever yeah yeah but it's like one of those things that you have to like know him for like a minute is he's not like first second like the most out you know what word am i looking for i can't outgoing i need help outgoing thank you yeah he's not like right away like oh man this guy's but then once once you hang out with him for a little bit you're like oh fuck yeah now now just

looking at him's funny right genuinely yes right exactly just watching him walk i'm like that's funny because i know what what he's thinking my favorite is when he snarls his lip just a tiny bit dude every time he walks past the reflective surface and does his face he's got that little bounce to his step. There's something about, I got a friend like him, one of my best friends from college, who's like, I'm, Kyle's short,

and my friend is short, and they've got this bounce, this energy to him that, it's only in short guys. They have this little bounce to them that I fucking love. Yeah. Just like, this guy,

it's like, he's doing something. Like, you're gonna grab him. Yeah. Doing something. Something's going on. Yeah.

Like, some kind of scrum's about to happen they are they're barely on their toes yeah right it's just like I feel like everyone

has one of those short guy friends that's why it's so funny when Kyle brings around his buddies from home because they're all short as fuck and they come in

and it's like all trouble's about to go down the bad's about to happen yeah was that Kyle that walked in yeah purple shirt you text him

yeah I don't think he just knows i don't he does doesn't i'll call him i feel like in defense of shane and will yesterday like they their teams were the you know the pace cars basically and leading leading the race for most of it but had they not been here i think that we would have just all drank at a similar speed and then just all finished, which might not have been a good thing based on the speed we were going.

We kept drinking after. As soon as it was over, I stopped drinking. Oh, really? I had like one or two more and then I was like, I'm done. Yeah, I had one more several hours later. I think I had like 10 more. Yeah, we know. Yeah.

What can you do? What can you do? Yeah. You enjoy a drink from time to time. I just remember getting in the Uber. Having a beer. Zooming. With Roan and me and Roan just being like, he's 21.

He's 21. It's okay. That's bad. 21? I don't want people talking about me after I'm not there. No, we were being supportive. We're like, it's not a big deal. Yeah.

It is what it is. 21. Yeah, I'm glad that was not a part of the show. Yeah. Dude, if everything you said after was on the show, you'd be the most hated man on the Yeah, Tommy would co-host Son of a Boy Dad. Probably. It was good

it was I wonder what it's gonna do you think people are gonna hate it I have no idea what to expect I think people are gonna I think alright so if I thought people were gonna hate the last one yeah I think people are going to like it for its chaos I think they'll probably be the usual like these guys

like this guy sucks this guy sucks not realizing like we're all blacked out and then I think they'll probably be the usual like these guys like this guy sucks. This guy sucks. Not realizing like we're all blacked out. And I think we have to I think we have to change it up for for number three, which I actually had the idea coming in today. I think for number three. What's up, KB? You're moving right now. Sit down for a sec?

I think for number three, which is Owen's birthday, right? Why are you mad that I saved your cards for you? Why are you mad? Hey, bro. Yo. Fucking love you, bro. How are you feeling, Kyle? You've been fucking hot for the cards, dude.

What's wrong? The fuck was that? I don't think your mic's on. I wasn't holding the card. I'm moving. That's what... I'm just stressed. Yeah, that sucks. Here are my fucking cards.

Your eyeliner looks good. Yeah, you got... Does it look visible? Oh, yeah. Yours is the most... You can never get it off. It's not... Like, I tried...

I washed my face for 15 minutes this morning. Fuck. I was just meeting with some important people. Oh, yeah. Without any cards. No cards. You had no cards? Yeah.

It was like Dennis. Where's my tools? Yeah, no cards. Needed the cards. How did you think last night went? Oh, man. It's kind of a blur. I don't know if because I was so drunk or...

Yeah, we didn't realize you drank before. Yeah. I thought it was fun. I don't know if it's because I was so drunk. Yeah, we didn't realize you drank before. Yeah. I thought it was fun. I had a good time. Yeah. I did too. Oh, so what I was going to say was, when's your next birthday? October 23rd.

I feel like we might need to do a redemption. Well, I think it's either Yak only or we do Power Hour. Some individual challenges? Yeah, something where it's like you know controlled we talked about keg versus keg too yeah keg versus keg keg versus keg we should do for the january right a mega birthday that's a mega birthday that's a three three mega birthday so maybe it's just a case race with brandon and kate yeah yeah we could try a power hour in like august or something. I really do appreciate Will and Shane coming.

It definitely changed the vibe because it's just hard when you don't know. I mean, I know Will a lot better than Shane, but it's hard when they don't know the show and we don't know them. They're competitors. Yeah. That definitely brought up the competitive side in all of us. I didn't know I was that competitive I was furious

you got that dog in you you were screaming that big cat's a chug yeah as I was talking about this I was full of beer you just looked me

dead in my eye like you got a chug I wasn't that's not what I meant I was like I am about to I really just wanted to do a synchronized chug

I swear we were like... We love you. Nick, you looked honestly awesome once all the paint was off. Yeah. Like when you had just the charcoal on your... Oh, yeah. No, I looked like a warrior.

Yeah. Yeah, I felt like one too. But I don't even know what I was saying. Che, you said you were hammered like what felt like three minutes into the show. I was drunk almost immediately. Yeah. After my second beer, I remember I went to talk and I was slurring my words. And I was like, holy shit.

Yeah, not good. You sound underwater when you're drunk. Yeah, you did. Oh, that was. I was wearing the Revitalite costume, but. There's not actual Revitalite in it. I know, but they cut out a face hole, but it wasn't big enough. I was wearing the Revitalite costume. There's not actual Revitalite in it. I know, but they cut out a face hole, but it wasn't big enough.

And also, I had to take it off because my arms couldn't. I couldn't actually drink a beer without spilling some on the costume. I also think we started out hot because the numbers weren't coming up on the screen. Yes, so I was trying to. Well, you got really mad about that. I was really firing me up. Well, yeah, they led with a big speech. How good the numbers will be this time. Yeah, you did.

You were talking about – You guys can't lead with big speeches. No, and then I was like – I just didn't want to have to do the whole thing like keeping – like being like, hey, add this. But then we got under control quickly. Yeah, it made more sense for Brandon to be the scorekeeper and with him being in the room. So it's just like – Did Brandon stay the entire time? Shout out quickly. Yeah, it made more sense for Brandon to be the scorekeeper and with him being in the room.

So it's just like... Did Brandon stay the entire time? Shout out Brandon. Yeah. Tommy cracking a Coke for opening ceremonies was funny. What did Tommy do? Tommy just played video games the whole time? He sprinted around.

Yeah. He's literally like a dog. No, he's like a puppy. You got to tire him out. Because yesterday he was just trying to hurt me the entire day and then we just ran laps around the office until he calmed down. You were the Joker and he was like a puppy. You got to tire him out. Because yesterday, he was just trying to hurt me the entire day, and then we just ran laps around the office until he calmed down. You were the Joker,

and he was playing his Batman. He just walked right up and kicked you in the shins. It was so hard. It hurt a lot. I missed that age. You could just do anything. He was punching me in the back. You would jump on Dukes and Jack McCarver.

And then I was like, I'm going to tell on you. And then he instantly was like, what? He's like, I'm just to tell on you. And then he like instantly was like, wow. He's like, I'm just playing. He got so nervous. Telling. I want to start telling on people.

I felt like a dick. KB, what you got this weekend? You moving? Moving? Yeah, dude. I'm fucking moving now. You got a lot of moving? Yeah. It's going to take up the bulk of my week are you going down jersey shore i'm supposed to my parents are coming in town a lot going on

lots of you need help today i'm free today no you need i'll help you sure with the bean bag it's not making the move i'm paying someone you're you're taking those beans one at a time with a tweezer oh i'm not fucking i love the idea of like two massive fine moving trucks pulling up just to get KB's put in a box yeah fuck it yeah they got a pulley system it off like a piano when they move a piano it is big it's a jumbo sir Jersey Shore what are you Nick you're going Jersey Shore? I'm supposed to, but boy, I'm pretty tired. Oh, and are you going Jersey Shore?

No, I'm going to Charleston tomorrow. Oh, Carolina? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go to a con with you. And then, yeah, you are. And then Vegas. Oh, yeah.

Geez. Oh, yeah. I want to buy some of that. Jesus. Here's another 4K.k yeah holy shit forgot about that let's go um 4k that's six for me and i'll send you some more i i'll vend you more if you need more i think holy shit christmas yeah so you've given me like six. I think other people have given me one. Rowan, one. So where are you at?

I'm like 2,000 shy, which I could do. I can cover it. I said I was going to do it anyway. I got in for a couple hunj. I can give two hunj. I can give two hunj. I can give two hunj as well.

TJ, two hunj? Yep. I will also just give 200. I can give 200 as well. TJ, 200? Yep. I will also just give 200 worth of my equity for free for people who don't feel like giving that. It's not mandatory. I don't know what that means. All right, so are you good or are you just going to give me more? No, I think I'm good. All right.

Yeah, I booked my flights and hotels last night. Dude, you're going to win. Yeah. Exciting. You're going to be in the money. I know. I haven't had any time to process it, but it's going to be nice.

That's insane. When you used to go to your little underground poker rooms, do they take your phone? No. No? Wait, Owen. When's the first day? So there's a full week of day ones

because there's so many people that start. So like the first day you can start is like July 3rd. But I'm going to start the last day because I don't want to pay for hotels for like two weeks. All right. So. So I'm starting July 6th. So are there people that like go and they have like a like they have like a buy them like that. Like they don't have to do the day ones?

No. We got to figure out, though, how much. So wait, Rowan will get 10%. Everyone else who put in 200 gets? 2%. 2%. Owen gets 0%. I'll give you 6. I'll take 5.

Yeah. And then you take the other? Like 30. 3. Yeah. But it only costs 2. I'll take 4. I'll take 4. Yeah. And then you take the other three. Yeah. But it only costs two. I'll take four. I'll take 4% for six.

Yeah, math isn't working right now for me. But, dude, this is going to be a problem. You're going to win it all. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. I'll take 70% for six. I'm just going to get that on the record. Because when he wins it all, everyone's like, whoa, he actually gets more.

Yeah. Instead as well. I'd love to watch. Do it right now. KB, call dibs. Dibs. KB's got 30% for $200. It's a solid deal.

Pretty smart. Pretty smart. Yeah, these are all binding now. Yes. Yes. All right, we'll just figure it out. We're going to have so much money from this.

Who cares? I know. We should talk new studios. I'd love to give back to the Yak a little bit once I have the... How much do you win if you win? Probably eight figures. I hope. Who's not here right now? Chunk. Roan. Brandon.

Roan already gave money. That's going to be hilarious if you win it all. Oh, he tipped a lot of pizza. Oh, yeah. He tipped Pizza Driver last night. Oh, jeez. Yeah, I forgot about that. He was in and out.

He didn't love it. No, I should have done that. That was forced. No, I gave him one, too. And he didn't like, I don't know. He didn't want it. He said too much before he left. Too much.

What the fuck do you mean too much, dude? It was $1,100. No shit, it was too much. I don't think this is more than 20%. Oh, man. You guys didn't order that much pizza. It's like four pizzas. I didn't even eat it.

I tried to eat it. I just couldn't eat. I immediately just came right back out. I don't think I ate it. Where'd it go? Oh, no, I did. Oh, the pizza? It's like all over the floor.

The comm came in and grabbed a slice, but it just wasn't cut, so it was the whole pie. Like six fell. That's hilarious. How long did we go last night? So we drank for 63 minutes. How long did we go after that? I think we went until like 11, 10, 30 maybe. Probably went about four hours.

I'm so curious to see the run time on the episode. Yeah. It was four hours. Yeah, an hour and five minutes. Fuck. Why did Will take his pants off? Show off his tiny little dick. It's a tiny penis.

It's a tiny penis. It was so small. Yeah, dude, it was so small. Dude, and the best was Will texted me this morning. He's like... Dude, you guys are hurting his feelings. He was like... Dude, Will texted me this morning. He's like... Dude, you guys are hurting his feelings. He was like... Dude, Will texted me this morning.

Wait, is it bigger than yours? What? Why are you defending this? You guys are being mean. Uh-oh. All right, so Will... Oh, no. You guys keen.

I want to talk about a real weird web. Will texted me this morning. He's like, dude, why did I wake up to a text from J.J. Reddick saying I got a small dick? And I was like, ooh. And then I realized that J.J. Reddick had texted me about something else. And I was like, dude, we're doing a case race right now and Will Compton's dick is so small. I just offered that up. Out of nowhere.

Yeah, you guys kept saying it was so small. It was so small It was so small He never reacted He never played along It was hurting him It was He was one of the drunkest guys Cause he just

Remember when we The popcorn came He just I looked over I think he had the entire thing Of popcorn in his mouth Yeah he was the drunkest Yeah

He was just sitting Like with his legs spread But at first I thought his dick Only looked small Cause he has massive, huge, strong thighs. That might be why. Under his thighs. Yeah.

That might be why. No, I got up close. I saw every vein. That's really small. Every night. Actually, he handled himself well. Yeah, no, he had a great time. I had a great time with Will.

Will is one of my favorite people. Oh, no, he had a great time. I had a great time with Will. Will is like one of my favorite people. Oh, I meant to ask him. I wanted to ask him if he thought the Yak was more fun than the bus. Oh, heavy hitting. You should join the show. Yeah. Yeah, there's room. Always.

The Yak should just be the whole office in here at once. I know. Remember we were gonna do The podcast With 75 people on Zoom Yeah Yeah Everyone just talking

I mean that's basically What it was last night Just everyone talking Over each other Should we get Stu in here To wrap up the show Yeah Got anything else

You wanna Any other Yeah any other Memories I'm out of it Yeah Do you need help moving, Kyle? No.

It's only been 30 minutes. Do we have to... No, it's been 40. It's been 47. 30, 40, 37. Did you fall asleep on the toilet again? No, I didn't. At 1030.

Well, if you did, you could have used Dude Wipes. Yeah. Go to dudewipes.com. Use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order. Flushable wipes change your life. Definitely make you quit regular toilet paper. It feels so much better in your butthole, whether you're sitting or standing while you're wiping,

front to back, side to side, whatever you're doing. Use Dude Wipes. Use code Yak20 for 20% off your entire order. I used the showers to get my makeup off last night. Oh, that was actually a great makeup remover. Yeah, it was. Did the makeup artist tell you guys? Makeup's the poop of the face.

Did she tell you, like, not use water? She was like, if you use water for this, it's going to make it way worse. Yeah, and that's what happened. That's what I did after the first one. Yeah, I looked like gas. It all makes sense. My fucking broker probably thought I'm weird. No card ass no cards we black eyes

your cards you show up with eyeliner no cards i didn't have anything i needed i needed like cashier's checks and she clearly told me all of this and i just came empty-handed just hoping for the best All of this. And I just came empty handed. Just hoping for the best. Is nothing fine? Oh, man. None of us are doing great.

I'm stoked for this break. I need it so bad. I'm going. I rented a house. I'm literally just all I want to do is fucking sit on the back porch smoke weed and listen to Raw Stuff I don't want to converse

with anyone I don't want to converse either I'm just going home so tired no opinions sitting in my room at home I want to look at clouds for like way too long

yeah way too long the worst part about it is something like this like you're like I'm just gonna this will be good a little break

not gonna drink at all gonna go home but then you go home and you're like well their only thing to do is drink yeah i might rip a swing set that would rule yeah you guys want to go to the beach oh good week yeah i'm not gonna be here i'm gonna i'm going home the whole week play with my dog dj stanko episode live from the beach Your dog Tommy Walker Puppy I'm gonna walk Tommy I'm gonna take Tommy on some long walks It'll be nice

Tire him out Get him on the Oculus We just never played the Oculus last night Oh yeah Or Twister I would have thrown up immediately What the heck did we do? The most gyroscopic

We was really out of control We should have done the pop We should do a case race Where you have to drink a case And then build something I think that would be very funny Kyle when you left I took your seat

I didn't mention that I wasn't you And a couple times I let Shane think I was you. Like he looked and laughed thinking it was you. Nice. I just wanted you to know. It does something I like to know. Thank you. What the hell else is going on?

When did you leave? Yeah, you did leave early. He left. He left. He just got up and left. Yeah. Did I leave? Yeah, you just left early. KB left. He just got up and left. Yeah. Did I leave? Yeah, you just left.

Dude, you were gone. I thought you were mad at us. You kept pointing to your seat, which I was in, and being like, no, KB's funny. Yeah. Nice. And you were gone. Yeah, I don't know what happened. You just left.

I wasn't. It wasn't like a blur, like a drunken blur. It was just like an adrenaline blur. You know, like after a sporting event you don't remember anything that happened? Yeah. I agree.

What did we do? Not we. What did you do? Did you just go home? You were the only one who left. I went to the bodega and I saw KB.

I thought we were all leaving. Did you really? Yeah, you left. KB walked to the nearest college and started stripping their scholarships. I just assumed it was over. I'm going to have to watch the tape. Oh, yeah.

No, I thought you were mad or something because you... I remember being like, we're doing this for a while now. KB hasn't been here forever. I went to the bodega and I remember the dude at the counter was looking at me weird. And then I got back, and I realized I was still the Joker. Oh, no. I was like, what's up, man? It's so funny, KB, that you just were like, yeah, it's over.

We're done. I assumed it was. I went for like two more hours. I was going to say that was short. I don't remember after drinking. I don't think I spoke. Yeah, you came back without the face paint on and you looked. Oh, you did.

You were good. You were... Well, I think everyone spoke. I don't know what to say. I'm hoping... I don't think I spoke. I don't think I spoke too much at all this time. At the beginning, you might have.

Really? Yeah. When you and Shane were going at each the beginning, you might have. Really? Yeah. When you and Shane were going at each other. But who cares? Who cares? Yeah. Shane was being a dick. Right.

Like, that wasn't your... No. That's what the bull, you get the horns. Facts. You're the bull? I'm the bull. It's not like his nickname, right? Yeah, that confused me a little bit. He's not known as the bull. No, he's not known as the bull? I'm the bull. It's not like his nickname, right? Yeah, that confused me a little bit.

He's not known as the bull. No, he's not known as the bull. Oh, yeah. He is? Yeah, he's the young bull. Yeah, he's known as the bull. Should have used a different expression. Oh, we got to spin the wheel.

Salt and pepper and paprika or something? It's going to add something. Oh, Kyle, we have to go to the watch along in New Jersey today. Yeah. I forgot. Is it the finale? Oh, I'm moving. Wait, is this today?

I thought the excuse was Thursday. It's going to be Thursday. Today will be the last episode. So you went last night. Yeah, I did. Okay. We won. Oh, big finale. What the the fuck I haven't watched it yet

What? It was yesterday Oh no I would be dead Sorry Che You didn't what? I was watching it last night and fell asleep in the cab So I didn't get to finish the episode You fell asleep in the cab, so I didn't get to finish the episode.

You fell asleep in the cab? Yeah. That's okay, though. Yeah, of course. No one has to fly to fucking... Barcelona today. Barcelona. This flight's not until tonight, though.

Oh, that sucks. Still, dude. Dude, he was like, it's only an eight-hour flight. He's like, that's not bad. Like, dude, that is... Those flights are the ones where you're like, you start breaking down. You're like, why am I, how is this still happening?

Like, how am I still on this plane? Right, you're right. You get like angry. You fall asleep for like two hours and you wake up and you're like, I have six hours. Yeah, you get like furious. That's the worst when you wake up and you think you've been asleep for like five hours. It's been 27 minutes. Or yeah, or you wake up and it hasn't even taken off yet.

Oh, I hate that. That is sad. i hate that i hate that you just assume it's already landed yeah i'd rather just get out of the i get off the weekend no trick yeah that's the worst how have they not made planes faster they've made it like they just they're coming out they had the uh monarch that did uh they used to the supersonic yeah it was going up way high it was too loud it was too loud it was like killing birds, it was going up way high. It was too loud. It was too loud. It was like killing birds. It was too loud, and it was a bad crash. Yeah.

It was the one where the nose tilted down. Yeah, they're actually, United's coming out with a new one. It's called the United Boom, and it's a supersonic plane. It's supposed to be. But the tickets are $5,000. Yeah, the Monarch would go from New York to London, I think, in like three and a half hours. Yeah, that's what it should be. Well, except then it crashed.

Right. I feel like boom is a really bad name for an airplane. Well, it's Sonic Boom, you know. I get it, guys. I don't know. Get Stu in here. Can we get Stu in here? I don't know if I would want Super Sonic to travel.

I think all the hot spots would overload. Yeah, that's the Concord plane. Oh, did I say it was Monarch? You called it the Monarch. I don't know. I know what you're talking about. The fuck is the Monarch? That's what it looks like when it takes off.

Yeah, dude. It nose tilts down. Because they can't see. Yeah, they can only see when it's tilted down like that. And then they're just flying blind until they land. It was really small on the inside, too. Yeah. My grandpa took it a couple times.

No way. Yeah, that's the boom, right? The one right there, the United one. Damn, that's crazy. Oh, come on. Sas, give him, switch your, you took his. Oh, my bad. Yeah.

Stu, we have 10 more minutes of this show, then we're going to lunch. I got canceled yet, and I've been here for an hour smoking pot. All right, we're all very hungover. Thank you, Lord. All very hungover. First of all, I love you, God bless you. I love you, too. I love you, too.

I love you, God bless you. I'm so sorry. I thought you were that clown that was giving Frank a hug. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, you look like him, but he's much thinner than you. What did you do? Oh, what? Meek Phil.

I thought it was because I said to him, I said, Nick, Nick, you better apologize to Frank or we have a problem. I'm so sorry. It was not you. No, it wasn't me. Is this kid here right now? Yeah, he's here. Yeah, go tell him. You want to beat his ass?

What do you do? What do you do? Yelled at Frank. I just want to, like, Frank is not like me. You could get in my face. You could point like this. Never with Frank. Agreed.

You know what I mean? Like, come on. I mean, that, I mean, you know, I don't want to, you know, come on. Never. Where is this guy? He kicked a chair that hit Frank, and he was like, it was like on purpose. No, no, he got, no, no, no. He lost his cool, which obviously everyone in the world has lost their cool with Frank.

Frank's been in my kitchen, and I've had 50 people there, and 40 of them have gone outside. Here's a clip. I did catch some flack for this. Oh, no. That would be unreal. There's the best team in the National League. Oh, they lose one fucking game. They've lost 400. They've lost 500 in the last six.

They're falling apart. The Braves never lose. Where's the kick? All right. Show the kick. I feel like Meek Phil knew exactly what he was doing. All right. Kick or something else. Yeah, show the kick. I feel like Meek Phil knew exactly what he was doing. He wore a Pokemon shirt as well.

Yeah. He was incriminating. Oh, so this is premeditated. Great job. And we should. No, no, no. He's saying he knew what he was doing dressing like Nick yesterday. Having people like you be like, Nick, fuck. Do you really think so?

I swear to God. He looked identical. He's your fucking spitting image. Oh, man. Yeah. I don't know him enough. He's had it out for Frank for a while, though. I think he got a lot of his followers trolling Frank.

He did. Like the anti-Frank Mets fan. Really? He's big on Mets Twitter. There's like a bastion of Mets fandom that is counter Frank. Yeah. Would you actually troll Frank? The Mets tag Frank.

It's like Frank. Well, yeah. Troll Frank? It's like a Rico move. Quote tweets of Frank, yeah. It's like a Rico move. Oh, no. Rico might have been right.

Meek Phil might be a skit. Can I just say something about Rico? On video, on film, he looks fat as fuck. No, no. I mean, like, his face is distorted. And he looks like, you know No, no, I mean like his face is distorted and he looks like he's mailed it in. But I just saw him in person. Yeah.

I felt his stomach. I gave him a kiss and he has like this pseudo mustache that he's trying to grow. Sort of embarrassing, but he's trying to grow it. He does not look fat at all. What a compliment.

I blow the way around. I blow the way around. Rico. Rico is like the superstar in the company that just keeps shooting himself in his foot, right? Dave said to him, Rico, I have cancer. I'm going to die. I'm going to give you five million.

Rico, on his way out of this building, would walk out of the building and get killed by hitting a bus. Like, if that's his luck. No, no, no to die, I'm going to give you five million. Rico, on his way out of this building, would walk out of the building and get killed by hitting a bus. Like, if that's his luck. No, no, no, no, no. Under that story, Dave would be like, Rico, I have cancer, I'm giving you five million, and Rico would be like,

but how much is the do getting? And then Dave would be like, oh, you're not thankful? He's like, I am thankful. But listen, point is, I don't want to waste time on Rico. He's not worth wasting time on,

but he looks fucking great. He always has movie star looks, and I think if he actually worked out every day diligently and lost weight, he'd be a fabulous star in Rough and Rowdy. He's great looking, so his merch would go up, and maybe he wouldn't have to be a wise ass

to the head coaches of college basketball so that Barstool doesn't lose all their press credentials. Okay? Can I say it? I said it. I didn't want to say it, but I just said it. You said it. And I meant it.

Can you show Meek Phil kicking? This is the only part that bothered me. One man in this year, before he connects with two out in the top of the ninth. Look at him. part that bothered me. Oh, that kick. Yeah. He kicked the chair. At Frank on purpose. 39-7.

Is he himself a Frank type? No, no. Did human resources see this? He is a Frank. Is he a Frank type? I didn't like that kid. A spothead. A chair kick. Maybe they're the same people. I didn't like the chair kick either.

Don't like that. Frank just wants the best for the team. Bothered me. All right, listen. I'm 61. I can't smack the kid, but get someone that's his age to smack him. Okay. All right.

Thank you. Sounds like it's a Nick job. I'm 10 years older than this kid. Too much of a difference. I need exact age. I'll fight him at rough and rowdy for half a million. There we go. That's a good deal.

Yes. Yeah, it is. We'll tip a mill in three minutes. That's not bad. Half a million out of Nick's. Nick has 70% of your I got 70% Series of winnings

Yeah yeah yeah Owen's about to win The World Series of Poker Any advice? You want to back him? Were you ever into that? That type of game? You're going to enter?

No he's going to win it My son has entered it Like four times And? Yeah your son's very good I mean he can hold his own He's good enough to lose All his money like everybody that plays poker. So are you going to be alive on day two?

Yes. Okay, good. How far has your son gotten? I don't know. He's never got deep in the tournaments. He always makes his money. It's really weird. He either does – he's never done good in the World Series of Poker.

I think he's only entered twice. And I think he's got beat on both times the first day. And he plays a lot. Like, he's in Vegas eight times a year. He's playing tournaments 30 times a year. I would say that he... Like, his game is that if he gets killed in the tournaments, he makes money in the cash games.

If he gets killed in the cash games, he makes money in tournaments. That's normally how it goes. As like every poker player like you, you know, you lose all your money. Mince won 600,000 and then a year later, he was drunk, naked in the street,

not knowing his name. You know what I'm saying? Like knowing his name. And someone said, hey, you got to take this mints because your fucking, your breath stinks. And that's how it became mints. I got his name. People don't know that.

I didn't want to, you know, but now that he's high on the hog, then the dirt's going to come out. And I know all the dirt on mints. And that's one of them. Whoa. What are you saying, KB? Talk. Did you ever have the poker era yourself? No.

No. Because I don't have the patience. No. I don't have the patience to watch. I don't have the patience to watch a, like my sons try to show me a three minute video and I go, are you out of your fucking mind? Unless it's Stupaner.

No, then I'll watch every, I can watch myself infinitum. Yeah. No, no, I love myself. No,

no, because I get myself the most, that's why I'm great at what I am. That's why I'm a living legend. That's why I do what I do because I love myself. Right. I'm very critical of myself

If I stink I also watch myself every day 20 times a day if I stink But When I love myself It's like 100 times a day Yeah you love yourself Incredible

Exactly Are you going to compete in the Barstool mini golf tournament? When is that? It would be in honor Fuck yes July 13th In

Yes There it is Yes Wait Maybe I might have a doctor. A testosterone shot day? No, no, no.

Not for me. For someone else. And that might land on that day. That would be the only thing that would stop me. July 13th. I'm going to look right now. I would love to be there. When is your next testosterone shot?

It's every two weeks on the button. What day? I don't know. Is that in the butt? What do you mean on the butt? Is that in't know is that in the butt what do you mean on the bed and what you yes yes this hot dr elena hot as fuck well that's because you get the testosterone shot well she's hot no no no she's hot independent of she's hot before the shot before the free shot after what about after she's amazing she's married to a doctor she's hot as fuck

what is uh after the shot it's f. What is your favorite thing that you do? What a question. It's two-fold. It would either be make people laugh or make people happy. What about something specific? Masturbate to porn? Oh my god. I don't know what that means

one of your shows what do you do on a day to day life career hobby I say that every time Stu I love to walk I love to swim I love to be with my dog

my wife's pussy that would be my life. You know, I say this all the time, Stu, and it's not... Every time I say it, people are like, what do you mean? What about this show? What about that show?

I would love to do all the shows forever, but if in like 30 years you said I was retired but I did one show, it'd be Barstool Sports Advisors forever. Because I could do that forever. I have no idea how much that hurts us. Thank you. People always say it the wrong way,

it's like I'm literally talking to you about it because it's literally a show that takes one hour a week. Oh my God, I know. Once you have the studio set, I will personally fly to Chicago every week.

Here we go. Done fucking deal. And Dave will fly in because he's a world traveler right now. He's pretty sedentary where he is. Oh, where is he right now? He's in the Hamptons. Okay.

No, but I'm saying he can go to any state at will because he doesn't really have... It's not like I'm in New York and I'm not moving. Right. Not leaving. Right. He's got the plane. Right. Fly to Chicago.

Right. But until then, it'll be here. Yeah. Yeah, next season. I'm here. All right. Ready to roll. All right.

Ready to roll. Ready to roll. All right. Ready to roll. Ready to roll. All right, so this is it for the Yak for a week. A week. God bless the Yak. Bring the energy. God bless the Yak. Oh, yeah, there'll be uploads next week, so subscribe.

How many? What subscribers? We got to get more. Are we going to post our lunch online live, or are we going to do videos? You'll do it random, and I'll retweet your stuff. What are we doing? Whatever you want. I would like to just enjoy lunch with you,

but if you want... What the hell? I love that. Taking Stu out to lunch. I have never in my life been out of this office with me, Pat, except for 20 minutes once at Borelli's.

That was it. No, we can post stuff, but I want to enjoy lunch. Yeah, yeah. I'm ready. Friendship. Absolutely. Do some swipe up.

Where's your son? He had a car accident, so he had to get his car fixed. He's okay, but he won't be for lunch. Okay. We can ask Rico. Oh, come on. Are you serious? Yeah, fuck that.

Can I ask someone who I love? You know what we'll bring? We'll be like 30th. No, you know what we'll do? We'll bring Rudy for stool scenes. What? We'll put this stuff in stool scenes. That way we don't have to worry about tweeting stuff out in the moment.

He'll edit it and put it in stool scenes. No, Rico's perfect. No, no, no. Rico's out. He's out. What? He's out. Thank God.

I had to redeem myself. It's not a film. So I made the overture. It was crushed, and now I have no guilt. Yeah, none. Yeah, we'll bring Rudy, though. We'll do stool scenes. Perfect.

Yeah. Perfect. That way we'll get, you know, people can feel like they were at the lunch. Perfect. And, you know, no one knows who the fuck she is, but Emily Binder, who was the producer of I Think Cause I Said So, I hope I'm not mistaken, but she's let go today. I bought her a beautiful sheet. What?

Oh, yeah. You just let go today, yeah bought her a beautiful sheet. What? Oh, yeah. You just let go today. Yeah. You just break news on a. Oh, no, no, no. I knew. She's known it since. What happened?

I don't know. Whatever. I'm not getting into that. This is not my point. You got her a sheet cake. She's here. Listen, stay on point. She got.

You got her a sheet cake. Oh, so then. Oh, you know what? That's fine. She got fired, but she got a sheet cake from you. She can't eat it. She can't eat it. She can't eat it. They made her leave the building.

36 brownies. Fabulous. Please, everyone, go upstairs. I'll go eat her. Take a piece. Wait, you're giving away the cake for the fired girl? It's enormous. Is it her last day or is she?

Last day, Bozo. She's leaving? I don't know. She's leaving on her own volition Got her a cake for people to eat So fucking Emily, you're God. My hangover just got significantly worse. Listen to the show. All right. There's at least six mothers.

I didn't know it. Sorry. My mother's dead. Fuck you guys. All right. Yeah, remember that tweet you had about your mom? What was that again? The greatest tweet ever.

Can we pull it up real quick? Let's end the show with this. Hold on. Let's pull it up. We'll end the show with this. Do you know what I'm talking about, TJ? No. All right.

He posted a picture with his mom on his bar mitzvah or something. I'm not. I'll try to find it. I'm sure someone will. Are you a smoker or not? No, I don't. Really? Never? No, no, I have. I went through a little bit of a phase when I was not. I'll try to find it for you. I'm sure someone will. Are you a smoker or no? No, I don't. Really? Never?

No, no, I have. Right. I went through a little bit of a phase when I was 13. Right. And I decided it was time to be a man. And he grabbed the mic. I just don't like it. I don't like it.

Right. So what you're saying is you're not man enough to handle it. Very, very much what I'm saying. Thank you. That is exactly what it is. Thank you. All right, just tell the tweet. What?

Tell the tweet. It was just a tweet at my brother's bar mitzvah. It was me and my mother dancing. I was in one of these Z Cavarucci outfits, which is a one, a double piece. It was tan. I look fabulous. I had a Huckapoo shirt on.

I looked like a, you know, I can't say. Oh, God, I would have got canceled. I looked, you know, non-masculine, and I was dancing with my mother. I was dancing with, I might look stupid. I was dancing with my mother, and I put above it first hand job I ever got at my brother's bar mitzvah. So everyone intimated or thought it was my mother giving me the handjob. Yeah, what a mess. Exactly. What a mess.

My mommy. Oh yeah, here we go. I was 14 years old, got my first handjob at my brother's bar mitzvah. When I came, I almost passed out. What a mess. My mommy. That is really not that hard of a leap that people assumed it was your mommy. Introduction into it. My mommy. Introduction into it.

My mommy. Why'd you say my mommy? Why'd you even say my mom? My mother gave me a handjob. It seemed like your mom gave you a handjob there. Let me say something. I would never let my mom give me a handjob. Nor would I ever touch her pussy, but I would come between her giant...

Alright. Fucking see ya. What? Fucking sit. Yeah, great tip. See ya. See ya. Oh, man. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop And do a Yankees love

It's the act It's the act It's the act Have a good week off, everybody. Uploads Monday, Wednesday, Friday next week. Bye.