The Yak - The Yak Crew Takes a Stand Against Crime | The Yak 6-14-23

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. TJ, pull that up. Oh, whoa. Whoa, what was that, TJ? All right, let's get this out of the way. Oh, whoa. What is that, Nick? I've been walking into work.

They're not that skinny. Also, there have been hotter days. I've been walking into work. They're not that skinny. Also, there have been hotter days. I've been walking into work every day, and I've just been drenched with sweat from my ass-gooch-balls-dick and down. And so I did it. Shorts. So I'm the last person? You're the last one.

I'll never do it. If you do recall, I planted the seed two weeks ago. Yeah. I'll never wear shorts on this show. That's right, you haven't. I'm a pants guy. I can't even picture you in shorts, I don't think. I wear them from time to time. I just like wearing... Alright, first of all,

Roback.com has pants and shorts. Roback.com, promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Promo code YAK. Roback.com, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com. 20% off first purchase. This is a take I've had that I get hate on, and I understand it.

It's controversial. I don't like interviewing people, coming to work in shorts. I wear shorts all weekend in the summer. Yeah. It's just the act of working. And I guess you could say, well, you're wearing sweatpants right now. I don't know what it is. I guess I'm a modest guy.

Well, I think, too, our legs look best when we're standing. I'll say it. I've got a great set of stems on me. But when I'm sitting, it's not the same. And yours look great. That's what I want. I need them to kind of You gotta keep them up a little.

You guys like going to a bar I like to wear pants. Oh, you can't wear shorts No, you don't have to stick to the school. I'm also anti-shorts on airplane. Yes. People were saying that that's fine if that's your personal decision

but people are trying to police other people with shorts on. I am not a shorts policer. I think everyone should do what makes them the happiest. I just personally, like, we had an interview today in person. Again, you could easily make the argument, I'm in sweatpants, what the fuck's the difference? I don't like to show my legs on the first date. Yeah, or I don't want to be on an airplane.

Like, I don't want to brush these hair bangs up next to somebody I don't know. Also, you get a boner. You get a hard-ass dick. While you're sleeping. That happens. Nightmare. Nightmare. Yeah.

I've been waking up with some good boners recently. It's been a while, yeah. Good for you. I think it's horniness or circulation. Not horny. Not horny at all. Neutral boner. Steven is nodding his head.

That sucks. Pat does a boner pee every morning. Oh, yeah. He just pees that way. Yeah. And that seems... Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. I don't yeah. He just pees that way. Yeah. And that seems... Yeah, it sucks. I don't know.

It seems like it sucks a little bit. That's weird. Men need to evolve. What is that? Waking up like that? You have one permanently hard dick and one permanently soft. Yeah. Yeah.

Flip on and off. Steven, you're waking up with boners? Always, dude. But it doesn't mean you're horny, right? No. Why does that happen then? It depends. If you drink a lot of water before you go to sleep, then you're horny right like no why does that happen then if you drink a lot of water before you go to sleep then you're gonna wake up rock hard um or if you just you know have some fun dreams it doesn't it just like the blood leaves your your brain this goes to

other places oh you're having you're having wet dreams still not wet dreams i wish dude that'd be sick so awesome i would give up jerking off if I could have wet dreams. I think that's how it works, though. Oh, my God. You just, oh. Yeah, we did. Remember Robbie Fox back in 2016, 17? Did a-

19 days. Yeah, 19 days of not jerking off, and then on the 19th day, he had a wet dream. He was a teenager. Yeah, true. If we all made a pact right now, do you guys want to race to a wet dream honor code? You got to pull up the, yes. Okay.

Because I'm already, yeah. No. You're out. I'm going to jerk off tonight, probably. But what if, you're a competitive guy. Yeah, true. That's no sex, though, too, right? So, it's just a race to a wet dream.

When you have wet dreams, is dreams when you're lucidly dreaming and can control it when you come you have to come your pants but when you do have wet dreams historically is it lucid or not i don't even remember i probably not for me i think it's like yeah and you it's lucid and then you wake up right after you come you've had the oh what happened yeah yeah like you don't it'd be nice if you had your wet dream and you stayed asleep. And then you could deal with it in the morning. But having to wake up in the middle of the night and being like, oh. Then it would be like when you were bored and you would put glue and let your fingers dry and peel off.

I wouldn't want that. True. I'd want a chrysalis. True. All right, so we're having a wet dream now? Yeah. Honor's code. Honor code.

I trust you all Rowan isn't here Send a pic of your undies after No don't do that Undies Yeah we'll send a picture of Send a pic of your undies The soiled briefs

Did you see the thread on Twitter Of the Asian boy Man Who Relapsed on porn And then turned it into Segwayed it into like Recruiting people for his MLM scheme.

No. What? Yes. I'd like to see it. I have the screenshot of the exact thing. Hold on. Yeah, you have it? Because I was going to.

TJ. TJ, it's at Richard and then Y-U-Z-E-E. Richard, Y-U-Z-E-E. Confession, I relapsed on porn after 297 days, but instead of feeling shame and self-hate like always, something weird happened. Oh. That begins the thread to tickle your ivory.

By the way, since we started the show talking about, oh, here we go. Yeah. Oh, he captured the moment somehow. Oh, okay. He got the picture. He got the picture. You're supposed to put your hand on your dick, buddy. He's just...

Look at the fist, too. I actually believe him that he has not been watching porn. He's just always clenched. I don't think if I didn't jerk off, I probably would lose the wrinkles on my palms. The only reason I closed my hand is to do that. Yeah. Okay. Sad fact. I suffered from hand is to do that. Yeah. Okay.

Sad fact, I suffered from a crippling porn addiction for years. It nearly destroyed my life, but through endless tries, willpower, mentorship, I thought I slayed this demon forever. I was wrong. Was going through an ESP stressful time last week, especially stressful time last week with crazy long work days, urgent business fires. Is he a fireman? I think he had to fire people from his pyramid scheme. Is it just fires he's putting out?

That's a term. Yeah, putting out a lot of fires. A lot of urgent deals and stuff like that. I hate, hate, hate when people talk corporate. That's what it means. I was at a, I was at a like function that Kelly asked us to go to last night. Great job by Kelly. But she introduced me to some people and she's like B2C or something.

Is B2C a thing? Is it business to consumer? I don't know. But she said it and everyone's like, yeah, we're going to be doing that. And I was like, I don't fucking know what you're talking about every meeting they're talking about buckets too yeah this is in this bucket what is what the fuck's a bucket it's just a group so like if we're yeah if we're moving to chicago and they're categorizing people some people would be in the yak bucket some people would be in the there's like 34 different words that would be

better suited. Yeah. I remember when we started Cell Blue, they went through PNL, and I was like, excuse me, what does that mean? They're like profits and losses. I was like, oh, I'm a moron. Yeah. All right, so go back to this thread. Urgent fires.

Urgent fires, maybe a firefighter, and here's how I normally cope with it. Healthy way. Work out. Watch The Office. Best TV show ever. Go on a walk with wife. Watch The Office to cope with porn addiction. He's Brandon. Un Healthy way. Work out. Watch The Office. Best TV show ever. Go on a walk with wifey. Watch The Office to cope with porn addiction. He's Brandon. Unhealthy way.

Watch porn. Now here's what shocked me. For years, every time I relapsed on porn, I'd feel depressed and worthless. Hate myself. Yeah, dude. That's post-nut clarity. Yeah. We all have it.

Everyone's like, oh. Not because of the porn. You know what it is. It's the reflection of the phone screen app. Yeah. We all have it. Everyone's like, oh, what? Not because of the porn. You know what it is. Seeing yourself in the reflection of the phone screen now. Yeah, no, this guy is just really bad at closing out his browser. Yeah. You've got to be so fat. It's got to be boom, boom.

Come close. Just like that. Because there's nothing worse than sitting there with, you know, you just came and you're still watching the porn. What is this? All right, keep going. But this time, instead of throwing a pity party, I did three things. One, found strength in God's word. All right, here we go.

Phillip. Wait, is this after he comes? Yeah. After he comes, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Strength. Two, reminded myself that I'm human and it's normal to make mistakes. And lastly. Uh-oh.

I'm afraid of him. Committed to being better next time and went on with my day. It may sound simple, but the secret to being unstoppable is hidden here. Listen. This is when I stopped the thread here to go watch porn and jack off. Yeah, I was like, this is making me a little more. He's saying now, he's pretty much telling me that I could do it. Is he even hitting his character count or is he no he's making this he's just stringing us along yeah yeah all right here we go listen

success is not about how many times you fall it's about how fast you get up when you go down so i don't care if you started an amazon or drop shipping biz in the past and failed. That's oddly specific. That was him. Yeah, just being like, so I don't care if you started an Amazon or drop shipping biz and your parents told you it was a really big waste of your time and you should go back to college. Not to get too specific. Or you wanted to quit your dead-end job before but couldn't pull the trigger. As long as you're willing to learn from your mistakes and go again, it's okay.

Dare to try one more time, and this time you can make $3,000 to $7,000 a month like clockwork by sending messages on Instagram. Is this when people started getting hip to what he was doing? Wait, this is it? Appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you're into business entrepreneurship, follow me at Richard Yuzzi. For more of these, second, retweet the tweet below to share this thread with your audience. Oh. He sells.

This is the one. He's like a 10Xer. Oh, I'm looking for five resilient people who are not willing to give up on themselves and are committed to the process of making 4K a month in the next four to six weeks with setting. If that's you, comment set below, and I'll show you how. This guy. TJ, comment set.

I like this guy. I'm sure to you. I like this guy. Penis university. He just went, so he went from, I slipped up by jerking off to please sign up for my pyramid scheme? Let's make a Twitter thread right now and have it being like selling Barstool

Father's Day merch at the end. If you found this interesting. From the doctor. I feel like you're done. One more thing that you will love. You probably already saw it. The boot camp drill instructor who comes in on the hoverboard. Oh, you're going to love this.

Oh, I didn't see that. It's like one of those boot camps for rich people. I love when you find videos for me. Yeah, this is up your alley. It sounds like the funniest thing ever. It's like having a significant other order food for you at a restaurant. Being like, I love this. He found this for you.

Yeah, there it is. Oh, yeah, I saw this video. I didn't see the hoverboard. You got to wait until the end. It's so worth it. What is this? This is what rich people pay to do this, like a boot camp. Oh, this is one of the Ray K. Scher.

Yeah, they're not real. Who I like. If it's the same guy that I think it is, he, like, kicked. Oh, that is him. That's our guy. He's been on the act. Wait. Oh, this is him.

Yeah, it's Ray K. Scher, right? Is that his name? Oh, okay. I love it. He right? Is that his name? Oh okay I love it He's the guy that kicked one of the kids out He's got a cigar Right? Yes he's got a cigar

This is the best way to make money ever It really is Cause there's just a world of people who like Want to be told they're not pussies for some reason. I did this. That's a great way to make money. He kicked a kid out. I think it's the same guy. Maybe it's not.

There was one of them where he kicked one of the kids out who spent like $20,000 to do the course. Here's what they do. They kick some of them, fail the course and so then you can pay thousands and thousands more to train to be able to take the course. And so then you can pay thousands and thousands more to train, to be able to take the course again and pass. Genius.

And so, yeah, it's, what is the end goal with these camps? What are these guys? Do they get something like a certificate? Your little class, at least with a lot of them,

your little class gets like a cool polo shirt one. And two, you become like a network for the rest of your lives, like a network of guys. So your brothers now, and so you help support each other. And then, you know, you read the testimonies, like our network class helped each other, like get all these high-paying jobs afterwards, blah, blah, blah.

But really. I kind of want to do it. Is it legitimate? I want someone here to go through one. I kind of want to do it and quit and just be like, it's not a big deal. It'll look kind of hard. A, somebody died at one a few months ago.

They make you bury yourself alive. They pull up in a van and, like, cover your head and, like, steal you in some of them, like old school. That's so embarrassing. Yeah. The whole thing. This continues. The entire class is going to be fucking abs. Ring the bell three times.

You're done. They're making him quit. They made it just like Navy SEAL school. Oh, how do you fall for that? Wait a minute. Did he ring it four times? Yeah, but he also fell for it.

But he said, I'm not going to quit. And he's like, you're not quitting. I'm making you quit. Yeah, but that's that's a trick. Oh, dude, what a fucking nightmare that is. What did he say at the end? He said, I expected that. Because he fucked up ringing it three times. He was like, yeah, just like I expected.

What a genius, genius business plan. And the price does not include your trip there. Does not include, they usually end with a banquet with a hotel set, and you have to pay for that separately too like it's all like you're just paying out the action we should do this with the yak i want someone to do one and like report on it like so so badly what if we did it with the yak you pay to be on the yak and we can tell you we can make you quit at any time and then when you quit then then we have like flemmer and Frank train you to be good on the yak. Yeah.

Why not? We just need one wheels. We just need how many one wheels and cigars? Yeah. I want one of those bad. Yeah. That looked fun. I thought you were going to say one of us has to do this.

I want someone to do it. I kind of want to do it. I don't want to do that. No, not at all. They would be so pissed if you finished. You're like, that was the easiest thing I've ever done well it's it's a win-win for me because it's also like i i could maybe finish it maybe i'm tougher than i think but also like they probably are banking on people being like that's a lot of money i don't want to quit and i could just

walk off like i don't care yeah i'm sure they make sure you cannot finish it no someone has to finish it no they almost finish it yeah that kid they didn't have any reasons they're like you're holding the class back yeah from what completing the task it's a ton of class time too stupid question yeah that's what i expected oh You don't even understand the task. Oh, he dropped something. That piece of... Oh, yeah. Is that real?

No, come on. He just ate off the floor. When I was a kid, our one neighbor with the swimming pool, me and the girls would walk real slow by their house looking hot to get the invite to the pool. Just a sad face. You gonna invite me in? Please?

What the hell? What are you guys up to? They do father-son courses, too. And it's like little eight-year-old boys getting dunked in the ice baths. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's like. What's about to happen? If you, yeah, Mary, ask me one more question on the way down,

every one of you are going to crawl from here to the bus i'm just leaving it up to you okay because i will punish and here's the even the worst part you'll walk the whole time they'll suffer for you i will punish the few for the many or the many for the few so what i want you to do is i want you to get more focused because i want you to be a leader of this class and take it a little bit more serious can you do that for me yes and i'm calling you out not because i'm being a jerk, but because I care. Because I didn't have somebody doing this shit for me. So take it more serious, and I know you'll be a leader if you do.

Are these like bad kids? You're a smart kid, and you're in shape. This is what I used to imagine when I was a kid. I love this stuff. I might be way off. I think it's just rules. I think it's parents, like dads who want their sons to be, like who want them to be like men. Definitely.

Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. They're saving future generations. Yeah they're saving the. By teaching them how to be met. What does this have anything to do. Like I'm a man. I've never been in a situation. I've never been in a situation or a biological. Have you guys ever been in a

situation where your hands are behind your back and you're crawling down a railroad track? Yeah, dude. How do you think I'm a man? I don't understand why any of this has to do with being a man. Everything. Yeah. Because men are constantly soaked in mud, crawling to the bus.

But the weird thing is, too, like, if, say I was, like, a young hot lady and I was out looking for a man if i knew a guy who went through this course i'd be like oh right yeah that's a turnoff yeah it's kind of weird it's kind of like that's your first turnoff you're right ever you're right that's true oh yeah well maybe if he smoked afterwards that'd be still be cool. Yeah. Maybe do you love this? Am I way off loving this? No, I think it sucks. Ah, damn. We have probably a lot of the same ideas.

Yeah. You and that guy are exactly the same. I want to be him. Okay. Yeah, that's the dream. Yeah, okay, you want to be the leader. Right. I'm trying to get that going right now.

Well, everyone wants to be him. He's fucking awesome. I want to have a team of people below me yeah i want to yeah hoverboard cigar i just imagine like on a friday when they get off work or whatever and the them and the instructors at the bar and they're like can you believe we're doing this like i just imagine that they're like i guess i like it because i know deep down i won't do anything that I don't have to do. So having someone make me do something is appealing.

Yeah. Does that make any sense? Yes, it does. Is that being a cuckold? Am I a sub? It's a fetish. You're a sub. I'm a sub.

When's the last time someone truly had the authority to scold you? Right. So maybe I just missed that in my life? You might need that there's a chance that somebody discovered that dude from the yak and signed up yeah eventually hit us up i'm here i i like it it's similar to like when i used to do crossfit i love doing crossfit because you just show up and they tell you what to do and they make you do something it's like i'm like if i have to show up to the gym and be a self-starter in that arena,

I'm just like, all right, I'll just hit the sauna in the steam room. Not making decisions is the best. Right. Yes. Maybe that's what it is. I have to make a lot of decisions, and I wish someone would just make decisions for me. Yeah.

Okay, I'm finding out that I'm a sub. I might be a sub. You're a sub. An accidental sub, because I don't think I'm a sub day to day, but I think I'm missing something inside of me. Yeah, you're like a hobbyist sub. Right. I would like to go on vacation and be a sub.

When I was at boot camp. That's what this is. Yeah. I never slept better in my life, because you don't have to make a single decision. Not once throughout the entire day for months. I slept like a baby every night. I didn't have anything else on my mind.

Everything was paid for. Everything, like whatever. I feel like I've never slept better than on the Top Punk. What about the impending combat? You don't know that yet. The future you, bro. Say what you will about prison, but there is an appeal to that. There's a little bit of an appeal.

You get institutionalized. I was reading this morning. I was like, I have to get into the office. I was like, I wouldn't have to go to work if I was just in fucking prison. Yeah. You wouldn't have to do anything. Some of them look fun. It's true.

Grilling on the steps. I was shitting this morning. I am interested in what that does to what you say. I was shitting this morning. I am interested at what that does to, what did you say? I was going to be late. I was late because I had to shit. I took a long shit. Long time-wise or size? Time both.

But I was like, well, if I was in prison, I'd have all day of shit. Yeah. Limited time. You'd be a guy watching you in your cell. I don't mind that. Yeah. I don't think I would get shit shy. I don't think I would have a shy bladder when it comes to shitting.

There's a lot of prison shitting etiquette rules that I've seen TikToks about recently. Continue. Oh, yeah. So, some prisons, you can only flush your toilet once every certain amount of hours. So, for example, if you take a shit at night, it just sits there in your cell with you overnight. Because they don't want you running all of your water out. So there's shit rules in prison because the shit oftentimes just sits in the toilet stinking up. Maybe I was wrong.

It's probably in prisons, the flushers on the outside. Of the cell? So the prison guards control the flushing. So if they hate you and they see you taking a dump, you know that you're going to sit with it all day. Damn. Move. I don't know what I'm going to do with this new knowledge

that I might have a small part of me that's a sub. It's just a yearning for youth. Yeah, maybe that is also. When I smoke Stizzy 40s, I crave to be a child again. I even perceive things as I once did. Right. And it's also like Stizzy 40s. I crave to be a child again. I even perceive things as I once did. Right. Is it just the Stizzy 40 that does that? That's the only thing I smoke.

Once you reach a point in life where no one tells me what to do, maybe I just miss that. Yeah. Maybe you have a little thing. This is deep. I think I might get into Stizzy 40s. Best bang for your buck. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. Now that I'm sober. You just this is deep. I think I might get into Sissy 40s. Best bang for your buck. Yeah, I've been thinking about it.

Now that I'm sober. You just need three hits. A week sober. A week sober? A week. Two weeks. One week. You hold up two fingers.

That was peace, son. Oh, to the booze. You know, I just realized I can't put up the three. I realized it yesterday. I'm not flexible. You do it in German? You break your fingers? You can't do that

Either side You have zero control Over your hands No they're shaking What is wrong with your fingers? I can't touch my Thumb to my pinky What?

That's arthritis brother Yeah that's Did you break your hands ever? No Did you get a haircut? Your hair looks awesome Three days ago Three days ago.

Three days post-haircut's the best day. The best. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I'm so hungry. You're hungry? Because you took that big shit. I know.

Stomach's rumbling. Prison guards would hate you. Yeah. You'd be stinking up the whole cell. Zaw, what's the quality of Zimbabwe in prisons otherwise? Horrendous. Yeah? You do not want to end up in there.

Do whatever you can. Pay as much as you can. Do they tell you what to do? Worse. They torture you. Oh. Have you seen the documentary on the Madagascar prisons,

which are apparently the worst in the world? No. It was insane. What are they like? They're all piled up on each other. What? Covered in bugs and pests. Yikes.

Yeah, so Zimbabwean jail cells. It's actual torture. A 10-man jail cell will hold like 50 people. Oh, God. Steaming hot, no AC, bugs, what crimes? I didn't know Madagascar was like a... Madagascar is horror. Murder? Shit. Kissing a

man? Those kind of conditions, mainly political kind of crimes. You'd lose a lot of weight, though. Yeah, big belly, though, I bet. The most hardened criminals in Zimbabwe are just guys that have kissed guys. They have a teardrop tattoo.

Dude who got a boner in fifth grade. Fill it in when they're... Been in jail for 75 years. They fill in the teardrop when you use tongue. He was tapping his toe to George Michael's face. It's 50 years, brother. Knows the words to one of the songs from Wicked. He's seen one too many Ryan Gosling movies.

Sorry, man, that's life. We're going to torture the fuck out of you. No, they probably get their own cell. They probably get a big-ass cell. They probably get a whole floor to themselves. We don't want it to spread. Solitary confinement. Solitary.

Give this guy his own cell. We don't want to catch it. How long do you think you guys could last in solitary confinement? Maybe 15 minutes. I've been microdosing it, kind of. Okay. Hold on. Sometimes you've got to stare at a wall

for as long as you can until you break. You don't. I'm not letting you get away with this anymore. No one needs to do that ever. It helps. It'll make the next thing you do the most enjoyable thing in the world in your eyes. Are the lights

off when you go to sleep? What? You're laying in a comfy ass bed, though. Yeah. Are the lights off when you go in solitary confinement? Do they turn the lights off? I don't know if you ever have lights on. Oh, that might be better. It's like the Aaron Rodgers retreat. That looked awesome. My room right now is legitimately solitary confinement confinement if i didn't have my phone in it

it would be it's the equivalent to solitary confinement you should but you know that you can walk out of your room yes exactly but if someone like locked the door and took my phone away my room there's it's just a mattress on the ground oh you're still on the ground there's no nothing on the walls there's the the window gets no direct sunlight because it's in an alley, and I'm on the bottom floor, so it covers all the sun. When I turn the lights off, I can't even see my hands in front of my face. That's awesome, though. Yeah.

That's ideal. Yeah. It's crazy. I had an apartment once where I had the basement bedroom. Oh, yeah. It was the best. Yeah. It's pretty easy to sleep in.

Yeah. Sleep forever in those. Yeah, because you don't know what. The best. Yeah. It's pretty easy to sleep in. Yeah. Sleep forever. Yeah. Because you don't know what time it is. Yeah. In the middle of the day, it's pitch black in there. That's got to fuck you up when you wake up sometimes. Holy shit.

Yeah. Yeah. I slept till when? How long do you think you could sleep for real? If you were like out till four drinking and no alarm. Out till four drinking, I would wake up at like 10 at the, at the,

at the latest 10 PM. Yeah. Or no. I am. Oh, I can't sleep in when I get super drunk. But, um,

dude, I, I actually, I could sleep in way easier on like a weekday when I have something to do that day. Like I, it's so much easier for me. Like,

Oh, I just want to stay in bed. Like on the weekends I wake up early cause I'm like, I don't want to do that day. It's so much easier for me. I just want to stay in bed. On the weekends, I wake up early because I don't want to waste my weekend. Waking up early is a superpower. If you wake up early and go get the day, they are

superheroes. What are you getting? I don't have anything to do. Days are really long when you wake up early. My whole day is the night. But if you can get up and go to the gym, and it's like 8.30 in the morning, you've already been to the gym, there's no better feeling in the world. Yeah, but I could just go to the gym at noon. True. It wouldn't change my, like on the weekend.

Do you know that you say you're going to go to the gym at noon, and then it's 2, and then it's 4, and then it's, ah, shit, I've got to get ready for stand-up. You don't go to the gym. No, then it's two and then it's four and then it's ah shit i gotta get ready for stand up you don't go to the gym no i don't right but if i did i would definitely not go in the morning superpower yeah being a parent you're like we went to the pastry shop the park the went for a nature walk blah blah and then you get home you're like 8 30 a.m yeah fuck i've been doing that's on the weekends because there's three now i've i've been taking the two older ones out and on sunday i did i walked like six miles with them and i did like all these things got back it was noon yeah it's like see that i don't like that you don't like that though i do but i but you're crashing earlier it's's like by noon, I'm like, holy shit. And they got all the energy and I'm like, I'm pissed. Ain't easy.

Like I, yeah, I just don't have much. You're bringing me a coffee. Oh, nice. I'm not a bad boy. He's been racist toward Hispanics. Oh, yeah? He's going to cancel the line. You want to explain yourself?

No? Take that. Holy shit. Didn't beat around the bush there, Kyle. Yeah. Oh, we have a, by the way, out of order tonight at 7. Yes. The first sketch in the episode I think is the funniest one we've ever done by far.

Nice. Yeah, it kills me every time I watch it. And then the last one is a little dicey. Today at 7. At 7. Even the poster for it a little dicey. Today it's seven. It's seven. Even the poster for it or whatever looks awesome. Yeah, they did a good job with that. Yeah, it looks really good.

Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to. No, they've been really funny. They'd be mad if I didn't promote it. You said speaking up. We were talking about racism. Yeah, the last one's a little racist. No, Malicek wasn't racist.

He called out the Puerto Rican national team as a bunch of guys who are from America. What sport? Lacrosse. He's about to play in it. He's leaving Sunday. But he's got a bounty on his head. He's the one playing for the Czech. Yeah, I was going to say, he's playing for the Czechs.

What the fuck? Wait, Malasek? He's a goalie for the Czech national team. He could trump his argument in two seconds. Yeah, the Puerto Rican team is a bunch of guys. They have names like O'Connell and Brennan. They all went to Division I colleges, so they're going to be very good. Yeah.

And he's playing for the Czechs. And he's not even playing, I don't think. Does he have Czech citizenship? His dad, I think, is from Czechoslovakia. So he's got that, which is nice. Good luck to him. I think he is peace-starting. I think you could do that if you have any Italian ancestry.

I'm pretty sure you can get Italian citizenship. Might have made that up. Super easy. Like, for the Olympics, guys from America will always get like a weird country like San Marino did you say Dan Marino? San Marino oh

Nick talk about San Marino means without Marino without Super Bowl ring that's right interesting very fascinating why? scintillating where's Roanon i don't know you say he's gonna be

late did out he said he's gonna be late brandon's out he's taking a mental health day that's good he said he's prepping for the move he's panicked about the move he panics about everything there's no nothing in his life is can just done. He's an anxious cat. What makes him him. Yeah. That's what we love about him. He's probably pacing somewhere right now. Definitely.

Yeah, but he's probably watching this. He's probably watching it. No, he's not on it. Oh, you're right. Yeah. You're right. No, he's pacing right now when he should be doing something to help with the move. Thinking about the move.

We gotta get him. Delaying his move. We gotta get him a vice. He needs one so bad. Losing in the dozen. Nothing that is done on the internet. Nothing that is associated with this job. What is his vice? Food. Fishing?

That's not a vice. He needs to become obsessed with something. Yeah. He stays up like wildly late watching WWE Network. Yeah, that's true. That is a vice. Chick-fil-A?

Yeah, that's probably. Chicken? Chicken is his vice. Chicken is his vice. Tweeting questions at 3 a.m.? Yeah. That's a vice of his.

Hmm. World T-shirt's got his hat taken. I have a... Do you want to... I have a TikTok thing. Yeah, you're covering it. You're covering it. When Connor's ready, we'll break the news. Fantastic.

We were all in the live, like, donating him hats. Yes. Did you see the super cut of him getting all the donated hats? No. I saw that. Yeah, it was hilarious um i want it back got a new hat my wonderful hat can we say what's happening monday or no is that a surprise it's happening monday oh are you do people know this i don't think so okay Okay, then I won't say it. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. It's not even... I don't even know if it's in stone.

But yeah, he thought... He got his hat taken in Iceland, but he thought it was the same guy that took it in New York. He was just like, how did he get here? Yeah, it's really... He texted you what's happening?

I think he called him an immigrant. He said, you can't afford to live here. You got it taken twice in Iceland. At least twice. It may have been three times, but it was the same guy. I think it was the same guy.

Give it back! Give it back! It's fucked up. Fucked up. But he runs just into a bar, doesn't he? Yeah, he runs directly to a bar. He runs directly to a bar to sit next to somebody to tell him.

And he's like, you guys need to do something about this. Knee jerk reaction. This is like, there's no night in Iceland right now, right? This was at like 11 a.m. Daytime. It probably gets dark at like 1 a.m. Maybe.

I don't understand how he is still out in society. Like, I don't understand how he made it out of it. Iceland's so quiet, too. They all just know who he is. They do? Yeah, like all the Icelandic kids are like... Icelandic teens are menaces. He just walks into a bar.

Icelandic people are very nice, which the Parisians will not be. He's going to Paris? Today. Oh, my God. He's going to Paris? Today. Oh, my God. Paris is going to be really bad. He's got a new hat, though. What TikTok did you do? Did you cover this?

He's got a new one. This was at like 3 a.m. Iceland time. So crazy. It's just not dark. Look at that face. Look at it. He's happy. I'm a.m. Iceland time. So crazy. It's just not dark. Look at that face. Look at it. He's happy. Huh.

Do you think he ever left Reykjavik? I don't think so. Oh, wow. Yeah. Special. I hope it happens. We'll see. That's why I'm like,

there's no way that will even happen. That's something we shouldn't say hello to because it might not happen. If it's what I think it is, I text it to the group. Yeah. People love this. Yeah, Quinn sort of announced that. We text each other.

It's a buildup. It's a buildup. It is. I'll say this. For anyone watching right now who's getting angry, it's worth not spoiling it. Quinn pseudo announced that last week. Typical Quinn. The Quinn effect.

I hate him. That's his hand. His enabler. Lou Perlman? Yeah. Whoa, what was that? That looked like a TV channel back then. The simulation just broke.

What just happened? The camera glitched out. Latman's got some tight shorts on today. Oh, yeah. What happened to his arm? What? Skiing accident of some sort. What?

He had a skiing accident in June? Oh, my God. That was bouncing. Yeah. I was at wobbling like that. There it is. Uh-huh. Why is it wobbling like that? Oh, there it is. Uh-huh. Why is it wobbling?

That's popping today. What happened to your arm? Skiing accident. We need to put the mic lower for when Blattman comes in. From three months. All the way on the ground. Enough. Three months ago.

It takes three months to get an orthopedist in New York City. So that's why we're doing this now. Damn. So you just had a broken wrist? No, it's a torn ligament in my thumb that I just found out. But it hurt for three months? Yeah. But you couldn't get it fixed?

I needed to go to an orthopedist to get a specific MRI. It took three months to get an appointment. Oh, man. Come here. You're suspect. You think I'm faking it? You're suspect. I don't believe any of this stuff.

What can I be gaining from faking this? I don't know. You've got a motive. No, no. If you're going to call me suspect, I need you to tell me. You've got a motive. What is my goal? I will figure it out.

You think I'll get a worker's comp? I will figure it out. No one has a torn ligament in their thumb and doesn't get it looked at for three months. That's your health care system. It shows up with a cast. I've had this for five days. I had to go to, that was when my orthopedist was. How'd you get a black cast, too?

No one can sign it now. No, I know. Actually, no. Let's go get a metallic sharpie. Yeah. We'll all sign it. We don't need to sign it. Yeah.

It's fabric, too. I don't know. Go get a fabric metallic sharpie. Take it off to all sign it. We don't need to sign it. Yeah. It's fabric, too. I don't know. And I'm covered in it. Go get a fabric metallic Sharpie. Take it off to shower? Did I take off to shower? You take it off to shower. Yeah, it's removable, yeah.

Oh. So your thumb must not be that hurt. I don't know how you got to that reasoning. Okay, you're dismissed. That was a tremendous waste of time. You kind of look like Ice Spice. What is his angle? You sit next to Pete.

Some of his mannerisms are rubbing off on you. Yeah, there it is. What is his angle? He's all round. He doesn't have an angle. Two big circles. There's Mr. Ferone. Guys, I might have to freaking order

myself a Red Bull. Can you order me one, please? Go get Malasek to get it. He has penance to do. Will you please get me one as well? Thank you. Sugar-free? 20 ounce? Yeah. Rome! Wow, a sultry entrance. A sultry entrance.

We should start having laugh tracks for entrances can you get the laugh track hold on oh yeah yeah you ready oh he didn't hear you do it again

his back is all wet must be raining out. Okay. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Zoobity doo. Yeah. Here he is.

That was real comedic side character. Yes. The man is here. Is it raining out? Never mind. Oh, that was a bad look. That was a big rain. It's raining.

It's puddly. Oh, no. Honestly, there's bad drains outside right now. If we went outside with a rake, we're going viral on fucking TikTok. Let's do it. I'm just not going to see the drain. Oh, I'd love to do that. What happened, Nick? love to do that.

What happened, Nick? I lost my voice. Is that a spell? Is that a plague? I'm good. No. You need a sweet high noon? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

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Oh, yes. We were talking about it. We might have Clemmer. Katie's going to be out, so maybe Clemmer in to watch him just scramble for a football off of a roof. That guy is incredible with the physicality that he brings to the table. He really is. Great decision.

Comedic timing. The talkies coming out ruined him because he would have been a mega star. He would have been a star. Yeah, the invention of when Marco Polo brought spaghetti back.

He was like, I'm going to pound on the table. So yeah, go get a High Noon. HighNoonspirits.com. Find it near you. What's up, Roan? What's up, guys?

What have you guys been talking about? Happy to see you all. We've done a lot. About Nick's blue ass shoes. Sass lives in a prison cell. I found out that I secretly have a sub fetish. We're all going to try to have wet dreams.

We're all going to have wet dreams. I just wanted to miss that. I missed the wet dreams. We're having a competition. Wet dream competition. KB stares at walls. Rolled a t-shirt. Lost his hat. hat three times he's in bomb boys prison if you kiss a dude you go to jail for life 50 while you're already in prison yeah so we we've covered a lot damn i don't know what i could even add to that

we should actually start just listing everything we talk about on this show and just be like what the fuck was that? Just notes, like someone taking notes. Spark notes. We're at Penn State, they had Nittany Notes. You could buy someone else's notes. Oh, really?

Yeah, you could just buy notes after classes you didn't go to. I just slapped Nittany on anything. Were you a Spark Notes guy? I went to Cliffs. Cliffs Notes was me, yeah.

I went to Spark. You went to Spark. Yeah, just good folk over there. Little books? The Cliffs Note books? Yeah. Ruled. I Cliff Notes books? Yeah. Ruled.

I thought they were the same. What was yellow? One was blue. Arrival. Which one was yellow? Cliff's. Fuck. Cliff's looked like a construction site.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I was a Cliff Notes guy. I was Sparks. It was blue. Such a funny premise. Like, you don't want to read this book here. Read this other book. It would tell you the themes, too. Like, you don't want to read this book here. Read this other book. It would tell you the themes, too.

Like, it would tell you all the answers. Wait, you guys, they were books? Yeah. We just had the website. About the book. No, they sold real books, like little pamphlets. That's crazy. I want to meet and interview, like, a Cliff's Notes author.

Yeah. He's probably really full of himself. He knows everything. He knows everything. I can explain it to you like that. They should have Spark Sparknotes. The real short version? Yeah, like just a one-page sheet that you read the Sparknotes.

Does take-home homework still exist? Because you've got to think it's with AI. You can just get the answer to anything. Yeah. Yeah, it definitely still exists. Well, have you seen the professors accusing their students of using it and then this one professor failed like the entire class because because now they have software they can check and see if it's ai but i guess the software sucks and so he like failed the whole class and it turns out they're all like no we really we really did

write that like the site it's all there was definitely one that didn't oh sure for sure call that the bill Football of the group. I was talking to some of my buddies about it when I was home a couple weeks ago about the ChatGBT stuff and they were like, everyone uses it. Apparently there's ways to work around getting caught on those softwares so you can ask them to write you an essay. And then you don't actually go word for word. You kind of just do it.

Change a couple words. Yeah, that's how you pull essay. And then you don't actually go word for word. You kind of just change a couple words. Yeah, that's how you pull it up and then loosely paraphrase it. And then you can ask it to reword it in a different tone and stuff. And then it's pretty much like undetectable. I would have used that so much. I think right when it came out, a lot of people I know used it on all of their final essays and stuff. If you're a teacher, that's way too exhausting to try to lease that.

I mean, if they can use the same, if they can have a software that is the same as like Grammarly or whatever, where it would see if you plagiarized. Also, if your teacher, isn't your job to teach your kids to be smart, and isn't the smartest thing you can do is having a computer do it for you?

There's a lesson in that. Being a teacher and having to read through essay after essay about the exact same thing in your free time at night by a fire. Not hell, but purgatory. Single red pen. Felt. Always the felt. Yeah. What the hell?

Just reading terrible essays. So bad. That's such a tough life. Grading paper. That's worse than prison. They should make prisoners do that. Malasek has some thoughts on terrible essays. Yeah.

Hello. What did Malice accept? I have no idea. That was really good. If you got life in prison, would you be a god guy, a drug guy? Nazi. Or a basketball guy? I'd go author.

Or you could be the wise one. You'd go Nazi? I don't think that would be cool with me being Nazi. You have one big thing. I mean, you're an imposing figure. You're a nice guy. You know, you're the one big thing.

You want to be the guy who knows how to get things. Like, what's his face in Shawshank Redemption? Not like, based on what would be the most enjoyable life? Library. Book guy. I think God, because then you're just like, oh, this ain't it. Oh, but there's probably a bigger God guy that you have to then go up against. You have to fight him in the yard.

What would you have to go up against? Well, he believes in God more than you do. You guys can link up, though. That's the only way you can link up. That's the real gang. Do you think that there have been Jewish guys in jail who have had to go Nazi just because they're like white? Probably. Oh man.

And then just hide it? They should reboot Prison Break. They just become the legal appeals guy. They litigate it? Yeah, just keep appealing their case over and over. Just get it tied up in court. It's kind of a sweet gig to be in. Hey, is Trump going to jail?

I don't know. Oh, sheesh. I don't understand any of this. I was surprised by the second arrest. I didn't know that it was on the books. I don't get it at all. I knew the New York one was. How the fuck is Hillary not in jail?

I did everything right, and they indicted me. What a clip. Wait, is that a real clip? Yeah, I don't know that. I got to see it. It's What a clip. Wait, is that a real clip? Yeah, I don't know that. I got to see it. It's a good clip. It's so funny. The delivery of it is so funny.

Do it again, Zach. Do it again. No, I can't do it. I just like hearing it. We got to just watch it. It's so funny. They indicted me. What does an indictment mean?

Oh, man. Let's start at the basics here. Joe Biden broke the law, and she didn't get indicted. Joe Biden broke the law, and in many other ways we're finding out, and so far has not gotten indicted. I did everything right, and they indicted me. You know, we're serving some good points. I did everything right and they indicted me.

That's like Frank. Yeah. I love how Trump says China. China. So let's start at the basics here. Indictment, what does it mean? Anyone? I think it means you're being charged.

You're going to have to show up in court. So is it like a warrant? Kind of, I guess. Like I got indicted for riding my bike with headphones on. You don't have to appear in court for that. If I wanted to fight it, I could. Yeah, that's true. That is facts.

Lips sealed. You know a lot. I don't know what it means. Yeah. Someone in this room has to know what it means. It just feels bad. Formally charged. Yeah, it's like being formally charged, I think.

You have to go to court otherwise. I want to go with formally charged as well. Formally charged. You get a definition, TJ, of indicted? They indicted me. Like you're welcoming a toddler. Formally accused or charged with a serious crime. Okay.

Accused. Oh, accused. But it's different than like- That's to indict. Arresting someone because then you don't indict someone for murder do you? You just arrest them. How is that different than

just arresting someone? I think he turned himself in. I'm probably getting this wrong. But if he didn't, would they have arrested him then? Probably. That's a good question. I would have gotten arrested if I was him. Yeah, that would have been way better for him.

Getting seen in the cuffs. No, you can't get cuffs on a president, a former president. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Who would go do that? Just like fight him

with like his chest out. But that would be the best case scenario for like publicity wise. That'd be great. When dudes get arrested shirtless and they just put the shirt over like their shoulders yeah aaron hernandez yeah it's kind of badass got that it's kind of sick remember

that picture very well you know basketball guy in jail could be sick though oh it would be fine i think if you're really athletic you're probably automatically do you have to already be good at basketball or becomes like in the big weightlifting guy weightlifting is i think almost a given yeah really athletic, you're probably automatically... Do you have to already be good at basketball? Oh, being a guy who becomes... Big weightlifting guy? Weightlifting is, I think, almost a given. But if you're in for life, it all changes. You've got to restructure your strategy.

Yeah. Books, I mean, but how many books are they even getting in jail? Are they getting new ones? I don't know. Do you think if you're in jail and you become the biggest strong man you're just hoping that maybe World War 3 breaks out and they need to get the strongest people alive and that's your freedom?

That's what I'd be banking on. I think that's what Russia's doing. Are they taking out badasses? I'm pretty sure they're sending... Yeah, they're getting killed in droves. They have no combat skills. Just run to the woods. Yeah, they're probably just trying to get the fuck out of there

yeah are they winning tied up all tied up I don't think anyone's really winning it's all tied up going to the bottom

of the seventh damn I mean if they're not winning they're losing by a lot because they should be winning wasn't their initial plan to like win in a weekend

yeah yeah that was nuts yeah I kept on refreshing like the reddit feed and I was like. Yeah, I kept on refreshing the Reddit feed and I was like, I wonder how this is going to end. And that was two years ago.

Yeah. That was a while ago. Yeah, that was a while ago. They're doing their big spring offensives right now. We stand with Ukraine. What? Nick does.

We stand with Ukraine as the act. Yeah. Do we not? Yeah, yeah. Wait for all the facts to come out. I got to do my research. We'll wait until the war is over, see who won, and then I'll decide which side I'm on.

Do we have any Yakers that have done hard time, I wonder? I'm sure there's a couple. We definitely do. More than a year. More than a year. I don't think violent crimes, though. What's the Yak audience? What's their big crime? What's probably the highest? I want to say, and I don't want to. Yeah,. What's the Yak audience? What's their big crime?

What's probably the highest grand larceny? I want to say, and I don't want to... Yeah, larceny. I'm thinking of one guy who I think tweeted about it the other day. I don't want to put him on blast. Definitely have a handful of sex offenders. We have to. We are their break from sex offenders.

Maybe they haven't been caught yet. It could be something like light. We have to. Yeah, we just... We are their break from sex offending. Yeah. Maybe they haven't been caught yet. No, but, like, it could be something like light. Yeah, no, they're, like, 9 to 1 o'clock, sex offending. Yeah. 1 to 3, yak. 3 to 10, sex offending. Like, I don't think Elizabeth Holmes is that bad. She defrauded billionaires.

Yeah. Like, so what? They were already billionaires. Like, I wouldn't be mad if she called into the yak i just so you'd take the call from the sex offender all right that's fine i would take elizabeth holmes i disagree on yeah okay he has tweeted about it fsu brando was in prison for what wow good for yeah he had a really good post the other day yeah about like how his life is completely turned around.

It was very sentimental. He's a great guy. One of the most positive guys I know. Very kind. He's very talented. Very funny. Yes. He tweeted about it.

It makes me respect you more. That's sick. I wonder what he did. Yeah. Look it up. He'll DM me. Why did FSU Brandon go to prison? I disagree on this one.

Liz Holmes is a scumbag. She sold false hope. I'm not saying she shouldn't be in jail. I'm saying that in the grand scheme of prisoners, that's one that I'd be like, okay, I don't mind if they're a fan of our show as opposed to a murderer or a sex offender. Someone who defrauded billionaires

pitching good ideas. Have you got any serial killer fans? Yeah. I don't know. Murderer, like, you know, like, did it. Murder is not really that frowned upon anymore. No, it's not. I think it's pretty bad.

I don't think it's pretty bad. No, don't get me wrong. I'm definitely anti, but I'm saying society. I'm starting to lean pro. As a society, we kind of, you know, we're not really that sensitive to murder anymore. People just get excited for the podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

I think I said this. I think Tito had one week. I went out to dinner with my Marine buddy who was in town. He works for like a big chicken chain and they were opening a new place. And so him and his team from Ohio came out and the one guy was older and he had gotten out of jail. He was a murderer. Yeah. And he was just.

He was lovely. He was like super lovely. That's cool. I guess he did it when he was he had gotten out of jail he had it was a murder yeah and he was just he was lovely he was like super lovely i guess he did it when he was young he did like 40 something years holy shit out work for the he was like dopamine's got to be incredible now after that he was like everything is probably when did he get out wait till that's probably about four years ago i think he'll get right back to it in a year when his hedonic treadmill resets. Yeah. People were more mad about West Elm Caleb

than they would be about if you just point blank shot a dude in the head. That's the shit that people get mad about. He was going out with a couple girls on. That was like catfishing girls.

It was catfishing women in New York City. That's the shit that people get mad about now. Yeah. That's way more frowned upon. Yeah. I do not want that guy

listening to the show. No. No. That would be a bad look. Do you have a crush on Liz Holmes? No, but you guys are so pro-murder that I'm feeling... I'm not pro-murder. She is kind of beautiful, though.

With her deep-ass voice. That was weird. She tried like hell to not go to jail by just having kids. That's also a wild move. She said multiple kids. Listen, if I'm facing time, I'm going to try whatever. You know, why not?

You got to try. That's like the most irresponsible thing in the world. It's like, I'm about to go away for a long time. Better get a kid. Multiple kids. Three, I think the thing. It's like, I'm about to go away for a long time. Better get a kid. And multiple kids. Three, I think. Yeah. Did she adopt or she had?

Oh, she just kept on. That's hilarious. If you're on trial, you adopt. I kept on having kids to try to stop it. Can they take her estate and spread it out among them? I think her husband has the kids. Yeah. Was he rich?

Yes, he's very rich. Oh, he is. Oh, yeah. He's big. What did she go to jail for? I have no idea who she is. She told people that, like, with a prick of your finger, they'd be able to take one drop of blood

and tell you everything that's wrong with your body, just like technology that she wasn't close to having, and just lied to everybody and, like, sold it and then repackaged the idea and made billions of dollars. I don't feel bad that she stole money from other rich people. I feel bad for the people who are like, oh, this technology is going to save my life.

Yeah. She was doing, there was like full-on studies. Yeah, that part sucks. Yeah. She was selling that fucking, what was the thing that Grant Cardone was selling? That big-ass machine that Dave bought. Oh, the red light?

Yeah. What was it called though? What was the name of it? Thanos. They tell you how much time you have left to live. Yeah. What a fucking, how is that legal? I agree.

I think that is like the lowest thing you could do is like try to basically go after people's fears and like be like, I can give you eternal life. Yeah, that's why Steve Jobs is dead, right? Yeah. Because they were just like, you don't need treatment. You just need to eat strawberries. Yeah.

What? Really? And he had a really treatable form of cancer, did he not? What? I did not know that. Wasn't he convinced to just eat fruit or something? Something crazy like that, yeah. Could be way off base.

We're a loose facts show. Yeah, I'm going to believe that. We just found out what indictment means. Yeah, we didn't know what indictment means. Every loose fact. Yeah. You guys'm going to believe that. We just found out what indictment means. Yeah, we didn't know what indictment means. Very loose facts. You guys are going rah-rah for murderers. That was weird. Yeah, I agree with you.

I do think if you're young, I'm not saying murder is good, but I'm just saying. Well, we're talking through it. If you're like 19, 20, do something dumb. Maybe by 40 years later, you can be a grown-up looking back at your young self and be like, I'm a chicken guy. You're talking about manslaughterers? Chicken guy. Yes, I feel like the chicken guy would never murder again.

But I'm talking stone-cold murder. Bang, man. Like, his was a robbery. Did the person deserve it? Teenager, no. A deserving murder. Dexter, that's a whole different category. Got in their way.

No, I'm anti-murder. I'm anti-murder I'm anti-murder Stay anti-murder No, it's way more fun when you're pro-murder One of you has to be pro-murder I don't want to have to go pro-murder I'm not pro-murder Like, a dude got murdered on our block

Yeah And none of us even thought about it for a second We were like, what are you supposed to do? Whoa, really? That's sick What are you supposed to do? That's his blood all over the place What? Wait, all over the place? What?

Wait, what's the alternative? That was our reaction to that guy getting murdered. What are you supposed to do, though? If we were like, Oh, man. Best dumb Caleb catfished a girl across this street, we'd be like, dude. Get him.

He can't keep getting away with this shit. Come on. If he gets murdered, that's okay. Well, we pumped. Self-defense murder is pretty cool though right oh dude clyde edwards the lair baby whoa he was self-defending in a one no wait you didn't know that no he he was getting robbed in louisiana and he shot the guy and killed him i think i think our red bulls are here still sucks though oh oh that's like got a ring though like

he probably has a different take on it. He probably wishes he didn't have to kill someone. Yes. To kill someone and then be like, yeah, he never. That's not murder or manslaughter. Oh, self-defense. Stay on your ground. Yeah.

Damn, the kid was 18. How old was that? He was at LSU at the time. Kind of a different story. And he had that thing on it. You had lunch with Tommy? I did. Just now?

I did. He's the best. Yes. What's burning that? Big cat. The room temperature. Oh, it's okay. Well, it's cold in here.

What's burning that? Just podcasters talking about podcasts. Love it. He's very well connected. Yeah, it's okay. Well, it's cold in here. Let's burn that. Podcasters talk about podcasts. Love it. He's very well connected. Yeah, JJ is hot. Oh. I went to his birthday party on Saturday. Yeah, he said he just saw you.

Yeah. It was a good time. Nice guy. I got to get lunch with somebody. That was my first time. Getting lunch with somebody? Yeah. I never have had lunch with somebody.

Crazy. I didn't know what to expect. Tommy, yeah. with somebody? Yeah. I never have had lunch with somebody. Crazy. I didn't know what to expect. Tommy, yeah. Smokes? Yeah. Tommy smokes. You go somewhere good? You didn't go to his birthday party?

At his birthday party, I was sitting next to, I felt really bad. I was sitting next to Philip Seymour Hoffman's son. I didn't realize it was his son. What? The kid from Licorice Pizza.

You were sitting next to the Licorice Pizza kid? No, till after. What the fuck? Great kid. Nice kid? No till after. What the fuck? Great kid. Nice kid. Really nice guy. He's young.

Very young. He's like 19. Yes. He's young for you, Seth. He's even young for you. Does he look like his dad? You want to get me an Uncrustable? Kind of.

You ever watch Licorice Pizza? I've never watched Licorice Pizza. It's a good avoid, honestly. I actually did get it for you. I forgot I got it for you. That movie kind of stunk. It's about a little... Not eating carbs right now.

Like a 22-year-old having sex with a 15-year-old? I heard it was about the... Rolled a boy? What's his name was in it? Cooper? Alex. Anderson.

It's fucked up that Anderson Cooper's a Vanderbilt and his name's not Vanderbilt. I know. Yeah, it throws you off. You should have to really say that. His Cooper's in Vanderbilt and his name's not Vanderbilt. I know. Yeah, it throws you off. You should have to really say that. His mom was Gloria Vanderbilt.

That's crazy. He acts like he's the broke Vanderbilt. He acts like he's the poorest one. And he's rich as hell, but he gets to be like, oh, I'm impoverished. Yeah, I'm just a journalist. The Frozen. Oh, they're the best.

He was in the war game for a while. He was. Yeah, he was. He was in the war game for a while. He was. Yeah, he was. He was reporting live from a hotel from a Four Seasons. That's awesome. He was on that. Yeah. Remember Channel One in school?

He was on that shit. And they sit in the Four Seasons balcony with a helmet on, and there's, like, bombs in the background. Because you know that they're just at the cocktail bar, like, writing in a pad. And they're not supposed to shoot the journalists. Yeah. That'd be a sweet career.

Yeah, why don't we just dress up our troops as journalists? Journalists. Send them out. Psych. Pulling a gat out the notebook. Oh, man. Can't believe they gave me a room temperature Red Bull. And a frozen peanut butter and jelly. That's doofus shit.

They flipped them around. You want a frozen Red Bull. They're on their doofus shit. You got doofus shit. I can't claim that one. That was Raekwon. You listening to the chef? I just saw a transcript of them clowning the people who did the cult, the cult who killed themselves.

It was very funny. You would love it. That's funny that they wrote it down instead of letting them. It was like an article written. It was funny. I'll send it to you. Yeah, hit me up with that. I need to fucking read that.

I need to get to the bottom of that doofus shit. Ray Kwan. Rowan, you know about the up-and-coming rapper You Know Miles? I don't know Miles. I don't know You Know Miles. Who's You Know Miles? Hong Kong. He's good. Yego.

Oh, there you go. You got one back. Not the other guy, but just Yego. What's up, brother? Did you get the other guy, too, though? No, I don't want his. Oh, Big F. It's a tough scene. You truly feel bad for him.

You wouldn't have done that to him. Me? Yeah. That was worse than just insulting him. He just came out of the room. If you see someone, you're like, aw. I'd rather somebody look at me and vomit. Imagine someone looking at you.

You come out of a room. You did that to me? I know exactly what that feels like. Yes. And that's why I did it, because preemptively. So now your blood is on your hands too, Kate. You're right. Now I know.

Now I know what you went through. Aw. It's really mean. Oofed him. It just came out. Oofed him. Aw, you can't do anything about his face. That's what you did.

Yeah. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. That's what you did. Yeah. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. That's what you did. I know I'm the spring chicken right now. I'm just saying. I just came out. It's getting worse.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Oh, I'm getting red. And is it, how long do you think it's going to take for his beard to grow back? Max's grew back

in like 15 minutes. Oh, yeah. Is that Michael Chandler? Oh, yeah, I think so. Man. Yo. I'm bludgeoned. Good swing.

Where do you think he wrestled? Is that him? Kyle, take your headphones off. He comes in. Yes, it is. Tell him to get in here. I want to get his wrestling background. He's Connor's next foot.

Oh, shit. Michael! Fuck. They're about to wrestle themselves. Michael! Let's go get him. Oh, shit. Hell no.'re about to wrestle themselves. Michael! Let's go get him. Oh, shit. Hell no.

Tug on the back of his shirt. Hell no. Just grab him. Come here. Oh, no. Is Robbie going to get kicked? Oh, no. Not again.

No. Ed's shooting. Is he going to get kicked? Something bad's going to happen. They had that human dummy thing out there yesterday, and everybody was kicking it, trying to kick over its head. I kind of want you to. I like seeing you talk.

Mook had a good kick. I like hearing you talk about wrestling. Yes. It gets me excited. If you know a high school by his high school, it's going to get me rock hard. I just feel bad because I don't know enough about him. Oh, it looks like he's leaving.

He went to Mizzou. No, they're about to do something. He went to Mizzou. Probably was... He probably was on a team with Askren. No. Oh, he's leaving? No, no, they're about to shoot something. They're about to shoot something with Bobby. Big Ev's got the cam. It just hit me who

Big Ev looks like now. He looks like an adult Bobby Hill. Oh. I love Bobby Hill. I love him, too. That's such a Bobby Hill. I love him too. That's such a classic Jay. Be like what that's not an insult.

I love I love that character. God damn it. Oh God damn it. I love him. He's such a legend for doing it. He's such a not pussy. Big Ed's been in the fucking...

Or no, was he locked up or he just got kicked out of school or something? Yeah, kicked out of school. For what? Selling weed, I think. Yeah, selling weed, which is bullshit. Something that would become legalized. We're at Ohio State?

No, Coastal, I think. Oh. That must have been an awesome time for him, too. Then he got into Ohio State? No, Coastal, I think. Oh. That must have been an awesome time for him, too. Then he got into Ohio State afterwards? Yes. Wow.

He got a job at Barstool. Yeah. W after W. Every single angle of whatever is about to happen. Yes. Wait, Dave is protesting right now? Yeah.

Protesting what? Did you see the video? Oh, my God. The guy ripping down. He's protesting the writer's strike. Oh. Oh, shit. Oh, shit? Oh, my God. The guy ripping down. He's protesting the writer's strike. Oh. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Rob, no. Robby. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The brain. Not the brain. Not the brain. Put down the brain.

Good job, Robby. That was a good act. Nailed it. Robby's defending Connor. Oh, yeah. Oh. Damn. They got Dan in the mix.

Oh, Michael. Michael, please. Michael, please, please, please. One question, Michael. Look at those juicy lats. Oh, my God. I have to pee. Do you want me to be like, can you pop in there really quick?

Yeah. Okay. Just for a second. Hanging laundry on those things has to be incredible. Imagine the way a shirt fits when you have lats like that. Oh, we're getting the no. You won't ever catch me in a white t-shirt. You could hang glide without a shirt on.

This is the brightest shirt I'll ever wear. I will never wear a shirt like that. You got the no. You put on a gray the other day. You might as well be asking. Gray you think would work. You think. It's worse than white.

You need text on the front. You need the fucking Declaration of Independence on the front. Look at this. This graphic's keeping everything in. That's a hard no. Graphic's about to fly off

and hit sass. What show's he going on? Okay, I see. No, he just did Backfist. Front fist. Sidekick. Beautiful. This is Insiders on Strike. Can you hear me? Front fist. Sidekick. Beautiful last. This is Insiders on strike.

Can you hear me? They're on strike. They're protesting this obvious shit scumbag. He is underwater. Henry Blodgett. Not a surprise to me. He tried to steal their health care, so they're unionizing. They've been on strike for like two weeks.

This is the same guy. Keep in mind, Henry Blodgett, who was banned from Wall Street, where he used to call people up and be like, buy this stock, buy this stock. And then privately, he was sending emails being like, hey, this stock is garbage. Show the other video. The other video is hilarious.

This one's seven minutes long. Yeah, this one's seven minutes. I love it. Way too long. Show the other video. Why'd we get Node? What other video? Where's he going?

KFC with Brady. Oh, okay, that's fair. That's the only video you posted? No, the video of the guy, the editor-in-chief ripping down protest signs in his neighborhood in Brooklyn. The ultimate weasel. Like, if you look at this guy, he's just a weasel. He was like, who are you guys?

And they're like, we work for you. Then he tries to bike off in a city bike, and it's the lamest exit. Watch this. Oh, hell yes. It's awesome. This guy looks like. This guy, wait, pause it, pause it, pause it. So this guy is the editor-in-chief, I believe, of Business Insider.

He also went back and forth with Dave, was super smug about everything. He lives in Brooklyn. I guess Henry Blodgett also lives in Brooklyn in Park Slope, and they've been putting up signs being like, have you seen this millionaire? And it's Henry Blodgett's face. And then, like, this guy Nick went around and tried to rip them all down. Oh, for his boss?

Yeah. Not even for him? Oh, I don't think so. Mr. Smithersing? Yeah, dude. Boo-licking city. I'd do the same for Dave. Hey.

Hey. Who are you? You're not my am. Who are you? I'm one of your reporters. You're not my reporter. Who? It depends on how you look at it. I'm not your reporter. You're not my newsroom.

I was like, I'm not your reporter anymore because you laid me off. And guess what? You laid off everyone that could tell me. Look at him. Hey. See ya. Yeah. Not under the sidewalk No he ripped out another one

Cross the street He went and ripped out another one We're the bike cops for this guy He's riding on the fucking sidewalk You just can't look cool Wearing a helmet In a city bike Being like

I'm out of here He started to unclip it But then he re-did it Who are you? You're not in my newsroom. Wow. It's not not my newsroom. What a dastardly bastard.

Just another example of Dave always winning. I mean, these are the guys he's fighting against. Yeah, like they just always- Once they present themselves one time, they lose. They won't be on video. He's pro-union now? I think so. Of course.

Always have been. Always have been. Always has been. Yeah. Gives me an idea. Yeah. What I'm thinking. We hit him with what he's hitting them with. Kind of smart.

Kind of smart. Hey, it's almost the Jason Isringhausen days, isn't it? What? It's got to be coming up. Dang. We got that question wrong, didn't we? Oh, yeah. Passed.

We sucked. We did pass. We're not there for the winning championships. Hindsight's 20-20, but having an extra lifeline, we should have just called Clemmer there. Yeah. He said he knew it, too. Has lifeline, we should have just called Clemmer there. Yeah. He said he knew it, too. Has the Yak peaked as a trivia team? No. I think so. We won our regular season.

You just gotta become better friends with Jeff. Yeah, that's true. How are those purple Grimace shakes? Oh, yeah, I had the Grimace meal yesterday. What flavor was that? It was, like, Grimacy. Understandable. Was it tasty? No. Jeff left yesterday. Jeff flavor was that? It was like grimacy. Was it understandable? Was it tasty? No.

Jeff left yesterday? Jeff's last day in HQ, yeah. Wow. Oh, fuck. Goodbye to a king. Sing him a Giovanni Bernard song. Che. Yeah. It was a Jeff Lowe sound off song. You can cook it up. Give you some time.

Be afraid to spit, bro. You don't have to go off the dome. You're not an off the dome guy. The first one was off the dome, but yeah, it was a lot of Jeff D. Lowe. Alright, yeah, let me think. It could be like, we'll miss you, Jeff D. Lowe. Something like that.

You know that song, it's like, there she goes. Jeff D. Lowe. There he goes. So, Jeff D. Lo. Yeah, perfect. There he goes. Yeah. So good. That's perfect.

Yeah. You could be like the girl Weird Al. Yeah, that would be a dream. A deal, yeah. I'm Girl Weird Al. That's your name. I would kind of play that one. Oh.

Jeff D. Lo. Jeff D. D. Lo. Maybe if we make him a really nice song He'll let us win a championship That would be nice The D stands for Deatrick Deatrick Deatrick Forest What is it? The D stands for Dietrich? Dietrich. It stands for D, bro. Dietrich. Forest?

Dieter, maybe. Deshawn. Sean. It is. Change his name once the Browns got Deshawn Watson. Oh. Solidarity. What's going on with the whole Stefan Diggs thing?

What a piece of shit. He's back today. Do you mean to say Baby Diggs? Well, I just didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know Baby Diggs was going to fill in or something. I think Baby Diggs might. I reported that yesterday on the talk. Yeah, he's back.

Yeah, I think he talked to... Oh. Hey, B. Hey. It takes time to the Jewish community. Oh. AB. AB. This guy's named Schmooly Schwartz? Being stone-faced makes it so much sicker. Yeah, that's cool. Where is this?

Heaven. Gotta be Brooklyn. Has to be. You think? He's probably up in Curious, Joelle. Upstate. this? Heaven. Gotta be Brooklyn. Has to be. You think? He's probably up in Curious, Joelle. Upstate New York. Yeah, there. Lakewood. They're dressed nice. Beautiful hats.

Those fur hats? Those were the expensive ones, too. They're like super expensive, I think. What are those made of? Probably real fur. Yes. Gold. Gold. Have you made with kosher yet?

No, bro. He's sick, though. He's good. Who's the other guy? There's another guy? The guy you guys just put me on to. You know Miles, he's a little too underground for you. Can I just hear five seconds of him?

That's how long his songs are. His songs are five seconds. Five to 20 seconds. He's almost like the bright eyes of the Raps. Bitch, I'm in the field. Nigga, call me Indiana Jones. Feel like a soldier boy today, so kiss me through the phone. Oh, this is close. This is him?

He's gotten better since then. Yeah, what's his new song? This isn't even his best. Tried to fit in a skinny hole while my dumb ass gets stuck. Tried to buy a BMW, but I isn't even his best. Damn. Yeah, he's the best. I didn't see that coming.

I didn't see that coming. That goes. That's awesome. Goat. Goat rap. I feel like I've heard. Is that a sound on TikTok maybe? Maybe.

Oh boy. I've heard it as a sound. What day is it today? Bro's shriveling. Wednesday? I still haven't recovered from Memorial Day. Wow. Why?

What happened on Memorial Day? What? Lost a lot of good guys out there. Oh, fuck. The fucking vets. The fucking troops. I'm going to miss them so much. Oh, no. I know why.

Because we didn't work on it Sunday. We pre-recorded PMT. It was like the first Sunday I didn't have to do anything for like seven years. And it fucked me up. I got the Sunday scaries. You hated it? I haven't had the Sunday scaries in seven years. You felt guilty that you weren't working or what?

Yeah, I just was like, that's the time when I'm like, all right, the week starts. Yeah, I got fucked up. Jeez. Sunday scaries are the worst. Yes. All due respect to baseball fans, but it sucks that sports are over right now. Yeah. Yeah.

It really does. I had a show last night at a bar show that we do. And I didn't know that, what is the team that won the Stanley Cup? Golden Knights. Golden Knights, they're in Las Vegas. Yep. Some person was in my ear talking, and I was like, I don't care at all about the Golden Knights.

What was he telling you? It was a girl. It was this girl who was like, I'm such a big, she's like, I'm from Las Vegas. Love the Golden Knights. Yeah. And I was like, this needs to stop now. I can see you.

Giving her no sign that you weren't a part of that. You were? Yeah. They don't use the word LAS in any of their branding or name or anything because they thought it was too wordy because they have a two-word nickname, Golden Knights. Oh, yeah. Vegas corner.

Is that a thing? Does anyone have 2-2? I think 2-word nickname, Golden Knights. Oh, yeah. They're just a Vegas. Oh, is that a thing? Does anyone have two-two? I think two-two kind of rings better. Like having a two-syllable first name, two-syllable last name. I don't think there's any two-twos. New England. White Sox. Hey, Trius.

White Sox. San Francisco 49ers That's two words Might not Might not even be one word Damn there are 49ers

Kate thought 49 was two words. It's a number. Errs is a word, though. Yeah. Yeah. Has a little flair to things. This is going to fuck me up. Do you have any?

Oh, Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Oh, wow. There it is. There he goes again. That was it. Right? Yeah. Yes.

That reference goes. There he goes. There he goes again. What are the verses of that song? What song is that? I just can't combine the feeling in my brain. That was in a lot of third acts of like early 2000s. Who sings it?

What's it called? Who knows? I want to say like Natalie Imbruglia. No. Michelle. No, not Michelle Branch. It's got to be a guy. No, it's a girl singing.

It's a girl? Talking about There She Goes? Talking about herself? Oh my God. You guys will beat yourself up when you find out. Who is it? The freaking Goo Goo Dolls? The Laws? Yeah.

That's where it left from Vegas and went to them. Six pence, none the richer. Tayo Cruz covers it? Oh, we gotta hear this. Are you still thinking of Cities, KB? Because I am. I gave up.

I don't think it's there. That shows that these boys just need to sporkle. The brain just needs to be sporkled. I don't even know if there's any soccer team. Where do we go from here? Grand Rapids? Yeah. What about college?

There's got to be college. Arizona State Sun Devils. Yeah. There's a bunch. Is there a bunch? Yeah. College? Carolina Tar Heels.

And Texas Christian Horned Frogs. What are you looking for? New York Red Bulls? Two words that he... Oh, there it is. That's from the chat. That's from the chat. Take credit.

Take credit. You read it. He read it. He learned it. That was from the chat. That was from the chat. Oh, you cheated. Take credit. You read it. He read it. He learned it. That's studying. Not Dallas Stars. That's soccer. Oh.

New York Knickerbockers. God damn. Not Dallas Stars. Not Houston Astros. Angels used to. Yeah. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, which means the, if you say. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Which means the...

If you say the Los Angeles Angels, it's the Angels Angels. Wow. Yes. Yes. Is Chase doubting back there? Catching the melodies. Did you hear him humming?

Oh, I forgot he's right. Got these Ben in the lab with the pen and the melodies. Did you hear him humming? Oh, I forgot he's right. Got these Ben and the Lab with the pen and the pad. Sash, when are you leaving for California? Friday. There isn't any. This week? Tampa Bay Devil Race. I'm pretty confident.

How long are you there? Just two nights. All weekend. Might red-eye home on Saturday. Get the fuck back to the city. What time is your show? I don't know. Probably 7.30 and 9.30 if I had to guess.

What time are you going to red-eye? Midnight. Cut it close, brother. You got this. Just bring a duffel bag. That's what I always bring. Duffel bag, sassy. Jet blue.

Jet blue, sassy. Jet blue mint. You can lay down. I'm delta, brother. Jet blue mint, coast to coast is the best. You can fully lay down. Yeah, but I don't have money

like that to be thrown around. Delta one. Delta one will let you lay down. Yeah, but I don't have money like that to be thrown around. Delta One. Delta One will let you lay down. Yeah, but I don't want to spend $1,000 on a plane ticket. Have your manager do it. Have him take it out of your money for later on that you don't... Him doing it would be me doing it. That's what I'm saying.

It would just be him clicking the button instead of me. Oh, yeah, dude. Charges to the club. Hey, do you have to... Do comedians have to pay their own way? Yeah. You get like a

travel buyout sometimes but it's never even close to enough. Do you ever turn down shows because you're like it's not worth the trip?

This one. I thought about it. Wanted to do it. And they said no. How much are you getting paid? It's just not selling well.

It's in the middle of nowhere. Where is it? Ontario, California. You're not a Rancho C are you getting paid? It's just not selling well. It's in the middle of nowhere. Where is it? Ontario, California. You're not a Rancho Cucamonga. It's out there. Ontario is like... It's far as fuck, and I have to...

My flights are terrible. Wait, so how are you going to get a red eye if it's that far away? Yeah, where are you flying into? I'm about to do a 15-minute set. Yeah, you're... All right, guys, got to go. How far away is Ontario from... Barry just flew into Ontario,

or at least to me when I watched the first episode. So there is an airport. I want you to update. There is an airport. It's Ontario. There's an airport, but it's not a big airport. It's like, ah, no, it's probably like two hours away from... So you're not getting a red eye.

A red eye. Probably not. You never know, sis. So where's your layover? Salt Lake City. The worst. Dude, I'm on my way home. Cancel this.

No, I can't. Uncle Big Cat will cover it. Cancel it. I can't. I'll call him. No. Hey, we're going to cancel that. I can't.

Have you seen those Mormon crickets That are covering Everything right now What are they Are the crickets Mormon Bugs They call them Mormon crickets And it's like a plague of locusts It's overtaken the

Like people are walking Into work just crunching Like hundreds of They're all over people's houses They're all over people's houses In Utah I think so I'm assuming

Sorry you said Salt Lake City It made me think of Oh no I want to see Popping up on my It's foul It's a foul locust Are they spreading

I guess. They look like spiders, though. They don't look like... I've seen a bunch of different people's videos. Yeah, it's like... Fuck that. At first, I thought it was all the same video until I started to find out it's happening all over the place.

I think if I, like, pull... I don't think I would get out of my car. I don't... I don't know. I'd have a tough time walking through there. I do not fuck with spiders. At all. I wondered what it must have been like to live through the plagues of Moses.

Well, the residents of a little town called Elko, Nevada are living through this right now. Is this this person's voice or is this like the AI voice? They can grow up to three inches in length and feed on the local vegetation. Flamethrower. Yeah, I don't know, Seth. Flamethrower. Like, I'm't know, Seth. Flamethrower. Like, I'm not going to go outside. I'm going to burn my own house down.

I got to keep, I want to see her go outside. Yeah, I'm not going to and from work. That's, I guess you get a leaf blower, maybe, and blow your way. Yeah, or a flamethrower. Flamethrower. Yeah. That sucks. Remember, we had the old flamethrower guns at the old office

the normal whatever boring company they work ah did anyone ever actually use them isn't it just like

a big lighter I think large had one our Jews were at Willie's house yeah that makes sense what is going on in the world you guys

is God trying to send us a message I pray that you get right with him. It's only going to get worse. And I'd hate for you to miss out on God's blessings and promises. Why is she talking like a sexy woman? I think that's her voice.

Yeah, I think that's her voice. No, I think that's TikTok voice. No, I think that's her. Yeah. They used your sound. It was, oh, no sound. Oh, yeah. I've moved on from that. Your new video just posted the way oh can i see it you've been doing good big cat the thank you i

hate myself yeah you're doing good tiktok celebrity world of t-shirts got his hat stolen this could start world war three and people are starting to ask, are they trying to clone World of T-shirts? Are they trying to make a universe of T-shirts? This is a disaster. We need everyone on the case. Find this man's hat. Sound off in the comments where you think it might be. No cap.

That actually might work. That's going to work. I think that's going to work. I'm going gonna find this hat you know I hate myself I'm on day three of why are you doing it I said that the

guys upstairs were like you know you start doing TikTok and I was like alright I'll do it and I was like I'm gonna try to do it three times a week for one week

see where we end up and we're halfway through the week and I want to kill myself yeah Connor got a shout out at the production wide like company meeting the other day.

Shout out for helping Big Cat go viral more often. That's your new job. I just need to find something I can't just do that. I have to do. I don't know what else to TikTok. You got to just completely be soul sucked. Do this shit. Do you go on

TikTok a lot? No. That's my problem. You's my problem. You should. Right. But I don't have time. I think you'll be able to get to the point where you build a following and then you just have a world around you and then you can just like. Pull the rug. Fart out.

No, you can just fart out videos and just be like, this is this person. Like fucking this. You'll get there, man. I hate it. My eyes do look awesome though with the ring light. Yeah. Here hate it. My eyes do look awesome, though, with the ring light. Yeah. Here, sing. And my Sidney Sweeney one's doing well.

What's your Sidney Sweeney one? She doesn't want sugar. Or does she love sugar? Oh. I see. Sure. I'll say to Sylvia O'Brien,le-Sconi, a couple days late. He died, I think, on Sunday.

That's good, though. That's breaking news. Death play. Yeah, death play. Oh, nice. Well, actually, not numbers. Sydney Sweeney has come out and said she's addicted to sugar. That just makes her a human, right? Sydney Sweeney, if you want to find a guy who's also addicted to sugar,

holler at your boy. Sound off in the comments. That one felt a little too real, I won't lie. Yeah. I didn't get the, that one didn't feel as sarcastic as the other ones. No, I think you meant it. What's going to catch on is all the comments are like, yo, I'm sounding off in the comments right now.

That's a trend that will pick up and you'll have comments on every single video like that. Yeah, and that helps, right? The algorithm? Like, all the comments are currently in the comments, and my sound is off. Let's go. Yeah, you got to drop some merch. Yeah, sound off.

Yo, some merch? Shit. I sounded off in the comments. This could be your ticket. This could be your ticket to the big leagues. Get out of this one horse town. You've been trying so long. It seems like you finally found your thing.

I finally found my thing. This is crazy. They sat you down and they were like, you're not doing enough, man. You got to be on TikTok. No, they were just like, TikTok's big and you don't do anything and it's like you already have a following,

just start doing it. I was like, fuck. TikTok sucks. I don't like it. I don't like myself. It doesn't suck that bad. I love it. It doesn't suck that bad.

I've got it down, so I'm only experiencing joy. Yeah, it's a response of what you pay attention to in it. So if you hate, it's a response of what you, like, pay attention to in it. So, like, if you hate what it's giving you, I got bad news, brother. I just got in such, like, a loop of, like,

hate-watching stuff. Yeah, that's what you're thinking. Yeah, I've been in those loops. Yeah. And then the more you hate-watch it, the more they'll feed you that shit. Like, what kind of stuff were you hate-watching? You were right. I saw Zach Bryan's tweets. Garbage. Dude, he had one the other day

that I was going to screenshot and send to you guys. Might have been yesterday, honestly. Let me find this. This is a dumb question. Who's Zach Bryan? Country.

A new country star. It looks a little bit like Smitty. There's a Luke Bryan too. Oh, this one. This one. Yeah, I know what it's going to be. The 4 a.m. one? No, no.

You tell me nurses, teachers. Yeah, that one. You tell me nurses, teachers, and cops aren't some of the best people on the planet, and I'll think you've lost your mind. You think he tweeted that, and he was like, I'm going to change the world with this tweet? Yeah. I'll be damned. What the fuck? No better duo than a neighbor playing the piano

With it raining outside Oh yeah I love when that happens to me Oh I'm gonna read the 4am one I haven't read this one It's me listening to Daft Punk It's me listening to Daft Punk Loud as hell last night Swimming at 4am after plenty of drinks

While simultaneously drunk Tweeting about Isbel's new record? I feel no shame. Duality of man, old son. I need to see that. Oh, is that duality of man? He's drunk tweeting.

You know what? I can be drunk and tweet. Come on, old son. Duality of man. No one talks like that in real life. It's me. I know. It's me.

That's like when you say, like, it's hella heads. It's he. I know. It's me. That's like when you say it's hella heads. It's hella heads who be. That's my problem. I do talk like that in real life and that's the problem. But you can't say it's me and then end with ol' son. Duality. He just threw in a bunch of feminine Twitter phrases.

Do you think it's him tweeting this or do you think this is all a PR team? Gotta be him. Is he making these faces? He's a good country singer though. I was just saying like if I could do this I would do this all the time. Can't front on him.

I don't think his music I don't know anything about his music. I don't know either. It's just suck. Like sitting and singing a sad song with a guitar would rule.

He might have been a troop as well. Oh. I think he was a troop. Real trooper, Ray K. Sher. He was out there. He tweets like a former troop. And they were like, you're too good at country music. You gotta come home and do it

full time, son. Old son. I respect that. That's what it says. We always stay out too late Tuesday nights. On the flip side, Quando Rondo just tweeted that he doesn't give a shit about a body count. That's more relatable stuff. Who's Quando Rondo?

Quando Rondo, they just tried. There's a clip of him getting a tattoo. He thought that he was getting poisoned in an interview. He smelled the water and was like, no, throw me a fresh one. Passed out during a tattoo as well. He did? TJ, we gotta get some Quando Rondo. We're getting Zach Bryan.

We got to get a Kwon Do Rondo. It's duality of man. The Kwon Do and the Rondo. You can't just have Kwon Do without the Rondo. Man, I mean, either of these guys do numbies on TikTok. So I got to do something. Zach Bryan with his tweets or something, or Quando Rondo getting... No, it's Quando Rondo that all the news outlets are breaking that he doesn't care about a girl's body count.

Damn. Uh-oh. I don't think it's the tattoo that's... It might be off the beat. It's the itchy pills. I've seen that before. I got to do something about Quando Rondo Quando Rondo came forward

that he doesn't give a damn about a girl's body count comment comment look at this and how old is he that's big for someone his age thanks Quando

this is like like Twitter now is like all these accounts tweeting like screenshots like that and they'll be like rap news rap TV

daily loud is just a it's just a picture yeah rap TV and daily loud look there it is. Daily Loud. Daily Loud. Oh, Daily Loud had a.

Then they'll tweet randomly. They'll be like 75 dead in mass shooting in Texas Mall. And then they'll have like the heartbreak emoji. Yeah. Sound off in the comments. Everyone's got this. It's breaking this news right now. Daily Loud got owned though so hard the other day.

Yeah, because someone screenshotted who the owners are. Yeah, that was so funny. Are they white? Oh, dude. No. What was it? What was it? I've got to find it.

It was laugh out loud funny. They're like goofy white dudes. They're like holding each other. Yeah. Do they dress like they're from the culture? Or are they like buttoned up? They dress like they're from the culture. Yeah?

Yeah. Interesting. Can you find the Kwon Do Rondo thinking that he's about to get poisoned? You see the guy that like got wrecked into while listening to Kwon Do Rondo? You guys are all hip to this guy? Is he a rapper? I don't know

Kwon Do Rondo. He's more a guy you just don't forget his name. You'll never forget. You'll know where you were. Oh, no. Oh, no way. Yeah. Yeah.

Good for Tyler Miller. How awesome is this? What the hell? It's a brutal picture. What year is it from? I think like recent because I looked at their Instagram. Oh, no. No.

Yeah. That's so awesome. Do they run it? I think so. No. They do the captions. Yeah, I can't imagine it's a very profitable. It's just a Twitter page.

Should I just do TikToks off the Daily Loud? Yes, honestly. Really? Yes. Put on alerts? Because all the stuff they do, I mean, they're just two nerdy white guys. That's when I need a blog. I mean, what's viral? I'll just be a nerdy white guy following the nerdy white guys.

So, Tim, I do want to ask you, what does... This water been open. No, it hasn't. No, throw me water. No, it's new water. It's cool. I just don't play about stuff like that. There's somebody trying to get at me.

He's awesome. Yeah, he's good. There's somebody trying to get at me. He's awesome. Yeah, he's good. He's cool. I just don't play about stuff like that. That's such a sick cadence. It's like a Bayou cadence. Yeah, it is cool.

It's cool. I just don't play stuff like that. I wish he hit his hands like Trump. What was Trump's quote? Indicted me. No.

Nah, bro, that ain't me. I did everything right and they indicted me. With the jazz hands. Like Bob Fosse. These guys just, they do headlines without anything to click. Yeah. So I'm assuming

it's just them running it because I don't know who else. They definitely don't have money to hire people. Just go into bars and hold each other. What is profitable about that? It's just a Twitter account.

But these are the kind of guys who have... Elon's making Twitter profitable. Not for Daily Loud. And he's giving away money for people in the replies. They're on Instagram. They said they've been around account. But these are the kind of guys making Twitter profitable for daily loud and there is giving away money for people in the replies. They're on Instagram. They said they've been around since 2012. Like that's definitely a profitable company.

I don't know. I bet that they hire someone to write the headlines. Go to their Instagram. Does it look like they're living? Oh, they're in Pittsburgh. This gets better and better. By the way, store.barstoolesports.com. USA merchandise on sale now. Fourth of July coming up.

Good merch. Beautiful merch. All the merch. Hold on. Show some of the merch, TJ. Golf merch. ZBT. But the bottom of the logo is good.

Kate's now going to say 100% of the proceeds go to, let's buy the merch that gives us money. Yeah, also that. Also that. We need that in spades. What about five for us, one for the troops? Storybarstoolsports.com. Now.

Look at that Oh those are some Oh that one is awesome You know You gotta rip the sleeves Off that bad boy too Beer eagle I have the MILF shirt The people shall rage

And it's a crop top Ew Look at that We got every bit of Fellas Is that you Is that you Roan That's me and Roan

What What the hell? Big ass picture. It is. Oh, Max. What are you selling in that? Kisses to Max. Yeah, alright. Buy $25 for one kiss.

I like all the buses. Kiss him. Bussing with the boys. Congrats to Wilco. Oh no, Rico. Moments before. What does that account? Moments before. It's about to throw a can.

Yeah. He was the number one college football personality by Will Compton. A big game boomer? A big game boomer. I'd have killed Brandon Walker. Oh, yeah. I know it didn't. What were you, six?

I was, I don't know. First two, second maybe? Well, sass. All I know. First two? Second, maybe? All I know is Brandon, someone was like, where's Brandon Walker? And he replied, five. So it bothered me. He replied five. That makes lists. And Brandon just, it breaks him.

Yeah, it's awesome. Was I even on it? Oh, yeah. You're in the top. You're seven. I'm a sucker for these kind of lists. Okay, seven. Will Compton, number one. I love that it has the school they rep, too. Jack Mack, yeah. You're in the top. You're seven. I'm a sucker for these kind of lists. You're seven. Will Compton, number one.

I love that it has the school they rep, too. Jack Mack, 88. Whoa. That's a Jack Mack. Moved up from last year. He's got to be higher. Casey's got to be on there. Casey is 18.

How is Jacob Hester only 30? Yeah. I saw that list works. I saw that, too. Yogi Roth. Oh, from Pitt. Big Game Boomer. He put himself as 96.

I think that's up from 99 or 100 last year. That's incredible. For Big Game Boomer. For him. Poor Peter Burns. Yeah. Poor Kyle Umlang. He gets people going.

Megan M. Money at 33. Wow. Very nice. Kelly in Vegas'm laying. He gets people going. Making that money at 33. Wow. Very nice. Killing Vegas at 24. About Ben Mintz. They didn't know what school to put next to his name. That's too many to choose from. No way.

Man, I love a good long list like this. There's really nothing better than staring at a big list. This is an honorable mention of 100 people. Yeah, who else belongs on there? Katie Statz, I feel like I snubbed. Honorable mention. Yep. Who else?

Portnoy. Was he on there? Was Big Ev? Wow. No Ev? Wow. No Ev? Oh, were you here for him? He wasn't recognized? And Kate just destroyed Big Ev?

Yeah. Speaking of not recognizing someone. Aw. I didn't mean it the way it came out. He is a lovely man. That's how you described a murderer. It's so true. Told you. I wasn't wrong.

That was right. 100%. People don't give a shit about murderers anymore. They're lovely men. It used to be like they were the most feared thing on earth. It was like, holy shit, that guy murdered someone. Now. Now it's like, well, we don't know the whole story. It could have been someone else.

It could either be like, well, it was they murdered their abuser. So that's a good murder. Or she cheated. Yeah. And then there's the middle area, which is like bad. You don't want to be in the middle area. That's like, oh, you're a piece of shit murderer. The worse you get down the line, oh, you murdered how many people?

That's when they're like, holy shit, that's actually. Or they were how young? They were how old? Yeah. You murdered 40 people? What? And then now you're trending on Twitter. No, but I think it comes back around. There's the you of it where it's like,'re trending on twitter oh but i know i think it comes back

around there's the you of it where it's like you that's you did 40 people that's sick and that that's when that's like that's like people are obsessed with you i think also if you're hot enough yeah oh yeah casey anthony there's like a lower bar for hot as a murderer yeah who are the twins the fernandez twins or whatever who like women were going crazy for them. Fernandez. Fernandez twins. But also the Hernandez. The Hernandez brothers. Brothers, yeah. Fernandez brothers murdered their parents.

Yeah, shot them with a shotgun. That was because their parents were like sexually abusing them. Correct. Yeah. See, that's heroes. They didn't know that until later, and now they're here. What about choking out a Michael Jackson impersonator on the subway? No. See, that's middle.

That's like, dude, you're a piece of shit. People think he's kind of hot. They found him? People are rallying. No, he's been... He got the guy? He was always... I think he was indicted.

I think he went on his own accord. Yeah, he was indicted. He wasn't arrested. He was indicted. His GoFundMe raised over like $2 million, something like that. Jeez. See? He's getting full written house. He's a Marine. Everything GoFundMe raised over like $2 million, something like that. See?

He's getting full written house. He's a Marine. Everything I've said has been right. His GoFundMe? He had a GoFundMe and it raised $2 million. That means probably like, how many people is that? 500,000 people? You're right.

You're absolutely right. He made a GoFundMe account and entered their credit card. I think you found a new bit. I don't think I did. I think it's just the truth. He made a GoFundMe account and entered their credit card. I think you found a new bit. I don't think I did. I think it's just the truth. He's been doing this bit. You know how we think Al Capone is cool now? Exactly. People do.

Back then when he was murdering them, were people like, wow, Al Capone's the man? Well, no. Or was that like a slow burn? I think they probably thought he was the man. I think it's more like- On God, he was like the biggest celebrity in America. Yeah, people loved him. It also changes if you write

a song about it. Yeah. If you can write a song about it, people are like, oh, what? It also changes if you only kill people in your community. That's what John Gotti... Oh, he only killed other mobsters. Yeah. It was an understanding... It's part of the rules of the game. Yeah.

King Vaughn, though, killed nine people. You're right. Yeah. Love King Vaughn though killed nine people you're right yeah yeah love king what's up with the uh your guy idaho guy oh yeah i think that's back in action okay i haven't heard anything there was footage of him at um who's the the tv show where they all wear the red capes and they handmaid's tale margaret atwood yeah handmaid's tale? Margaret Atwood. Yeah, Handmaid's Tale. He went to... He's front row center at a Handmaid's Tale book signing with Margaret Atwood there. Whoa. Yeah, like, he...

There's, like, all this weird... Like, his whole life, all these details are coming out that you're like, what? Strange. They should have known. Should have known. There's red flame. Yeah, red flame. Like, super weird dude all around. Yeah. Gives a black eye to real other male Margaret Atwood

yeah just weird dudes everywhere I don't do it anymore red flag there's not a lot of other crimes that are like thought of like that though what do you mean like there's not like anyone no one's obsessed with like rapists

yeah well we're not allowed to say, we're not allowed to say that. I've been avoiding saying it. We're not allowed to say it anymore. Art thieves is one. Oh, art thieves. People love art thieves. That's a good one. Like, if you could come up, if you could jack a bunch of art.

Yeah, people do, like, heists. That's an honorable crime, because it's like, you're not stealing. Oh, no, people like kidnappings. People do like kidnappings. What? Yeah, they do. To follow it on, like, the news. Like Nancy Grace.

Oh, what's the baby? Charles Lindbergh's baby. Lindbergh baby. Oh, that was horrible. Probably number one for kidnap of all time. That was great. That was a great kidnapping. Or that movie Ransom with Mel Gibson.

If I got murdered tonight, someone murdered me, if you went on the podcast charts tomorrow morning, it would be Lil Sasquatch, Lil Sasquatch. It would be the top ten. Yeah. And it would be people coming up with crazy theories. KB, you'd be on the fucking Lil Sasquatch subreddit. Yeah.

Museumistic ad reads. People who are so excited to get... Let's take a moment to talk about HelloFresh, guys. Code murder. I know you guys want to jump back into this. We've got to talk about HelloFresh real quick. I. I know you guys want to jump back into this. We got to talk about HelloFresh real quick. I'm excited to talk about this. The little Sasquatch murder.

This one really got me excited. I like that scam artist. Like somebody faking cancer for a long time. Yeah, long scam. Long scam. You are mad at first, but then they do it so long so successfully that you're like how and all the people along the way that were like this guy's

a fraud and no one listened to him yeah to bernie madoff there was a guy who was saying he was a fraud for like 10 years and no one would listen to him that's fascinating i'm listening to one now where this lady fake cancer for so long that she had three kids, and she just got free. She got to watch Netflix all day for 10 years and had other people raise the kids for her. Jesus. Damn. That's not living.

Huh? Wow. Because of cancer? She pretended to have cancer. No conscience whatsoever? No, none. Got free tennis lessons, free trips to New York, free skydiving. Who was the lady, too, who did the Munchausen?

She beat cancer. People love Munchausen by proxy. Oh, yeah. I'm a sucker. It's good. Yep. This woman beat cancer. Just like four or five times each time.

Shit. So it seems like people like every crime, Sass. Yeah, see? Except the one word we're not supposed to say, the grapists. Grapists. Which is understandable. Grape smashers. Yes.

Grape lady, what an awful name. People don't like corporate people, like pharma. They hate those people. Yeah, that's where this started, because they're saying Elizabeth Holmes is worse than a murderer. Yeah, that's where they started, because they're saying Elizabeth Holmes is worse than a murderer. Yeah, but probably. I mean, if you think about how many people that those people caused to die. Oh, like the Sacklers. Yeah, who were not directly involved in their murder.

They're worse than murderers. Who are those? They are murderers. Oxycontin people? Yeah. They killed like 500,000 people. But they probably still got yachts, though, right? Oh, yeah. They got their names taken down. They're fucking billionaires. They killed like 500,000 people But they probably still got yachts though right? Oh yeah

They got their names taken down They're fucking The MoMA Billionaires Probably care about a girl's body count What if your kids were friends with their kids? What do you say in that situation? Do you do anything?

My best friend Sackler kids? Yeah That is tough I think I could be bought like Mom they invited me to the vineyard for the summer I'd be like They would give you some Oxy-80s.

Unreleased. Yeah, yeah. Unreleased. At the 160s. Low release? Pre-peeled? We got next year's drugs. What the fuck?

I think you got to just let your kids be friends with the kids. It depends on how old the kids are. If it's like a five year old Are you gonna be like Five year old can't be a friend with another five year old I thought it was the other way around Think so I think if it's the younger The more you can control

Yeah They don't fucking know They're just I guess that's true Yeah Can't come over tonight Not allowed His parents said no

You just lie You're like 18 And he's over at the fucking Sackler's yacht Sackler's yacht On talk Yeah I asked his parents said no. You just lie. You're like 18. He's over at the fucking. Sackler's yacht. They're like on talk. Yeah. Like I probably won't be able to expose my kid to like horseback riding and whatever.

But the Sackler kids could if he was friends with them. Yeah. Some perks. Some perks. Well, a lot of perks. They're on TikTok, man. That one on TikTok. Shit. Turn that one on TikTok. Did any of you guys, did you guys ever have your parents not let you hang out with someone?

No? Never? I don't think so. They definitely had friends of mine that I could tell they didn't like, especially in high school and stuff, but I don't think they ever kept me from anyone. They want me to not go out, but it wasn't about someone in particular.

Right. Did you? Yeah, but I was really young. Yeah. Why? Was it because of the family or because of the kid? It was his kid. It was his cousin.

It was his ethnicity. What was it? It was just like a combination of ethnicity. It was, um, they of ethnicity. It was... It had like drugs. That's fair. Yeah. Fair enough.

It's a fair thing. What? Weed? Everything. If it's more than weed, yeah. Yeah, I guess weed for little kids is... Probably bad. I wasn't allowed to go to houses of parents that had their guns like out.

Yeah. It's also a fair thing. Fair. I think I would do that too. That's a big one. That was my whole childhood. It was like, don't play with your... If anyone asks you,

oh, you want to see my dad's gun? No, it was just the number one thing my parents would say. My mom would drop me off and be like, you have a gun safe, right? And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one day I was at a kid's house and he was like, do you want to see my dad's gun? And I was like, no.

Nice! I beelined. Parents got you right. I was like, there's no way this is ever going to happen. And then I went over to Kit's house and he's like, you want to see my dad's gun? Nope. Hell no. What the fuck?

Did you tell your parents? Yeah. It wasn't even, it was like a musket in a glass case above his desk. You wouldn't even look at it. I remember standing outside of the door, seeing it, and being like, I can't go in there. I was probably like eight years old. That's impressionable. Yeah.

I don't know. You guys might not be old enough for... Do you guys do D.A.R.E.? Yeah. Yeah. They made you sign a contract saying you'll never do drugs. We didn't have to do that. Yeah.

We had like... Sign that shit. The shirts were sick, though. Broke that contract. Shirts were so sick. We didn't have to do that. Yeah. We had like a... Sign that shit. The shirts were sick, though. Broke that contract. Shirts were so sick. Yeah, they got a good logo. And they gave us baseball cards with all the local police officers, and there was an officer nudie, and so the card said nudie on the duty, and that was like the hottest card that you

could... Everybody was like trading for the nudie cards. It's crazy to think. Sir nudie. When I was like 12, being like, I'll never do drugs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When I got to 13, I was like 12 being like, I'll never do drugs. Oh, yeah. I got to 13.

I was like, give them all. Yeah. It was a quick, very fast progression. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of like never. I'm never going to touch drugs. So like a month later, I guess I'll smoke weed.

Yeah, you got that kush? Yeah. Yeah, I'm 12. This is like an appropriate time to start. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Your butt has crystals on it? Okay.

Okay. I'll never do bad drugs. We all have our limits. All right, I got an interview I got to do. You want to spin the wheel? You guys can keep yakking. It's been a great yak. I got the song.

Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, spin been a great yak. I got the song. Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, spin the wheel and we got to hear the song. Yes. Oh, fuck. It's dying, it's dying, it's dying. No, it's not. No, it's not. God fucking damn it.

Blattman's on the wheel. Oh, let's go. Oh, yeah, he came in. Oh, let's go. Oh, yeah, he came in. Oh, Blackman, you're going to catch me lapping up the fucking shower water. Spin it, TJ. Rip it off. Rip off the band-aid. Stand under it like an umbrella.

Get swept in the final shot. I don't think Jack's calves can get wet. Why don't we take Blackman off? It's going to be me. I wore shorts today. It can't be me. It can't be me. I have no clothes.

It can't be me. It can't be me. I've been getting completely screwed by the wheel lately. You need to be Steven. Yeah, we need to be Steven. I've gotten wet a lot. Yeah, but we need it to be you. We just need it to be. I'm going gotten wet a lot. Yeah, but we needed to be you. We just needed to be...

I'm going to sing a song. Wet. I'm due. Yeah, you are due, TJ. I feel the same, too. I just got wet. I think I was last. Oh, no.

Oh, you fucker, TJ. No way. What a jerk. Why are you fist pumping? TJ knows the wheels so well. Hey, hacks it. We don't want that. We don't want to climb it What a jerk. Why are you fist pumping? TJ knows the wheels so well. Hey, hacks it. We don't want that. We don't want to climb it off of you.

Oh, okay. I almost forgot. You were celebrating for TJ. Oh! One of the boy dads. One of the boy dads. Oh! Fucked.

If this is me, I'm going to be so angry. For a fact, it's me. I'm going to be so angry this time. Let's go! Fucking A! Let's go! I actually thought, people won't believe me, I thought that this was going to be me today

because I took a shower today. Oh, thank God. Never mind. Nope, nope, nope. Come on. I took a shower here today. You did? Yeah

Why? PFT and I So PFT's here In New York For his last week So we're trying to get A shit load of stuff done So we did a little

We lifted In the PMT studio While doing work Oh With some good shit Good lifts? Like really really? Yeah we would

We would just alternate sets and keep working in between. Sit, sit, sit. God damn it. Nick already has his shoes off. He's had his shoes on and I thought that was going to work. Oh man.

Let's just all root for Che. Che needs to get wet. He's been a bad boy. I's just all root for Che. Yeah. Che needs to get wet. He's been a bad boy. I get wet all the time. Dude, singing in the rain? Nikki! Yeah, it's going to be true. I have been getting completely screwed by the wheel lately.

Soaking wet. So, sweep, piss your pants. That's fair. I kind of got to pee now, so. Good play with the shoes. All right, here we go. We'll play. Really nice play.

I'm going to do that now. No, because you did it because that'll undo it. All right, Kate. Kate does not have to piss her pants. Huge personal news. I have a haircut tonight, and I'm getting thick bangs. Oh. You're doing wild girl. Ooga, o I'm getting thick bangs. Oh.

Wild girl. Ooga. Ooga. It's like a porn genre. What's her name? Zoe Deschanel. That's what I'm trying to look like. 2-0-K. To a property brother.

Yeah. Che might have to. Rone, you had to go and ruin it. Shut your goddamn mouth. 2-1, Kate. This sucks because I packed up because we had to clean our desk the other day. All my extra clothes are

gone. I did too. My pile's still 1. I'm not going to say it. Don't blow this, Kate. He's got some lovely roe back on. Oh, yeah. This is like one of my nicer shirts. Then it can get wet.

It's fine. Go get wet, Shay. Come back and sing a song. Go get wet. Can I sing my song first? No. No. No.

Come on. That is a nice-ass shirt. God. Damn, that looks good. Can I change my shirt to a t-shirt? Yes. Alright. This is like one of my better shirts.

Throw in another row back. There's a whole rack of them in here. Now I'll go grab a t-shirt from my desk. Alright you guys get to enjoy this song while I have to go. Alright brother. I'll watch the song back. Did you guys see the Spider-Man poster? Yes.

I have a bone to pick. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Do you ever... Wait, what do we got here? TJ, of all people, you bringing this up. Nick. Little ass head. It kind of looks dope, though, TJ.

I'm a tank, dude. You're a tank for sure. I'm a beast, bro. I opened Twitter and I was like, why am I getting tagged in a woogus right now? My goodness. I'm like that kid in Magic School Bus that always talked about his old school. Am I old school

like? No, but that makes sense. Yeah, they fucked you over, Nick. Yeah, everybody else looks so sick. Saz looks very cool. Little slap hand. Brandon looks incredible. Somebody said it's the least Asian Shay's ever looked. Yeah.

Fuck. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Leapy got caught in 4K. I'm not stuck. Caught in 4K. Intentionally on. You gotta reset the... You got me.

Have you seen that TikTok? Oh, no. Case Empathetic. About humans having, like, a reset button for their jaw somewhere up here, and if you can find it, it, like, relieves all the tension from your jaw. I did see that, and I was digging for it. I don't know again. It's got to be a lie.

Oh, you got it again? I have a good yawn. People out here yawning. I've been yawning a lot lately. Really? Not getting a lot of sleep? No, I've just been getting hit with waves of tired. Dang.

Tired for two. Yep. I did not want to go to bed last night. Stayed up late. Oh no. Misbehaving. What were you watching? I was watching Are You Garbage to see if mine went well.

Oh, yeah. How'd it go? I was going to carry my daughters. I thought it went good. It was fun. Dude, their studio is fucking insane. It's just those two. Yeah.

Dude, it's massive. Is it? They have like five rooms and like a full kitchen. I feel like that wasn't how it was when I went. No. No, they moved studios. Really?

Yeah, they're somewhere else now. They're actually really close to us. They used to be close to us, but now they're even closer. They make Boku bucks. They're Patreon. People like send them to Disney

and to like, they like really. The name of their show is one of the best named podcasts that's ever existed It sticks in your head And the concept is pretty like

It's a great It's pretty Like it's pretty hard to not Do good on it You're just answering questions and it's like fast I want to say that they determined you were not Garbage but I don't know don't spoil it obviously There's no chance

I actually don't even think they said. Here comes Shay. They didn't know. What's his shirt? Is that one of ours? Nice shirt. Nice. Let's perform.

Is that some of the merch? Worth a July collection. Barstool Sports Store. Oh, that's sweet. Damn, it clings to the body well. You're at the workout routine, bro. You look nice.

Oh, I was getting roasted for looking fat on our shoot. Which sucked. I thought you wanted an exhale. Yeah. You look good right

That's okay. Black. It's the black and the text in the middle. That's the kind of shirt you want to look slim in. You're going to

look good in that shirt for a long time. I'm chilly. I'm going to sing a song now. I'm always afraid people will get electrocuted by that mic. God knows that would

never happen. Here, never. Never. Couldn't handle a cold shower, huh? KB would have ate that shit up. Yeah. We would have seen KB fucking months later asking in that. Not even a toughness thing.

Just consistency. It's a fact. You do any scrubbing while you're in there? No, I stand still. You don't even turn around and get it on both sides of your body? No, I should. Yeah. I wash my butthole.

Lies. No, you don't. When I take a cold shower, I'll wash my butthole while I'm in there to keep myself honest. Do you have to take a cold shower and then take a separate regular shower? I'd take two, yeah. Not at the same time.

I'll do stuff in between, exercise in between. Yeah, same. This sounds insane. You're on it, Rone? I figured you would be in silence. I tried it. You wouldn't want to admit it because it's whack to talk about. It's the new vegan.

The people who do it just can't stop talking about it. People are buying the cold tubs. You know how early on in vegan, everybody would just be so excited to tell you they're vegan? Yeah. All those dudes are women. It's more like it's worked so well for me. Yeah. So I didn't go with the song that Kate picked

For the only reason That actually fit way better But I can't hit that high note The chorus is in a very high note I can't do that So I pivoted Isn't there like a whole thing where they're like, oh, it lowers your testosterone? Yeah, you were.

Oh, Jeff D. All right, Jay. Here we go. Jeff D. jeff d host of dozen trivia nightly three times every week hello hello he is moving west you get a fresh cut and a spray tan oh jeff d on a desk with your trinkets trivia three lifelines sometimes a fourth strike up the teams and host a tournament. Now you're moving to Cali. Oh, Jeff D. Jeff D. Oh, I messed that timing up. It's like you're sweating, Che. Yeah, he's so nervous.

It's like you're so nervous. I'm shivering. Here it is. Jeff D. Down a D, Sean Watson. Low, low. Oh, my. Oh, I missed that. I'm sorry.

That's okay. We can run it back. I have a fine line too. Jeff D. Here we go. Take it home. Take it home. Jeff D.

On a desk with your trinkets. Trivi. With three lifelines, sometimes a fourth. Strike out the teams and host a tournament. Now you're moving to Cali. Oh, Jeff D. Oh, poor timing by me. Oh, Jeff D.

I've heard this song a long time. That was beautiful. I like that. I like that a lot. Not my best. It was lyricist. time. That was beautiful. I like that. I like that a lot. Not my best. It was lyricist. No, that was great. You were great.

We put you on the spot and you rose to the occasion. You're a beast. I was dying laughing. Oh, man. Jeff D. Put some stank on it. Got a little nasal with it. What does the D stand for?

We always forget. It's something simple. David. Disciple. Diego. Disciple. It is Disciple. It's D hyphens cycle.

S-Y-P-U-L-L. It's like an offensive lineman. I feel like dudes who always have the letter in between, they always want you to say it. Yes. They don't like when you just say Jeff Lowe. That doesn't sound right. You've got to say Jeff D. Lowe.

And he was never like that. It was just the Twitter handle was available, right? He was never a middle initial guy. I don't know. I just always heard everyone say, oh, it's Jeff DeLow. I say it like it's one word, Jeff DeLow. Jeff DeLow.

Jeff DeLow. I would never wrestle with that guy with his big ass lats. He looks like he would be a good wrestler. Fucking amazing. Is that a body goal, Kyle? What? Is that a body goal, Kyle? What? Is that a body goal?

You're close. I'm getting kind of big, yeah. You got to get your back. I think you got to get your back. I'm super easy. What? No, yeah, my back. He's got the wings.

Yeah, I mean, he's. What's your wing situation? I do pull-ups every day. It's a fighter jet. Okay, 45. Wide or tight? Shoulder width. Shoulder width, brother.

You got to spread that out. Farther? Really work the lats. Yeah, that's the wings. How do you get the wings the fastest? Far. Why are you asking Sass? Like, Sass.

Because he knows. I'm not knowledgeable. It's far. I don't know what I'm doing. You got to go far. I swear. I know. I believe you.

It's hilarious. Wide pull-ups. You know everything. You can also just do lat pull-downs for that. Wide pull-ups are fucking hard Your pull-ups are a bitch How many can you do? Yeah, you get

They get a lot easier Do you do Like curl? I don't do those I should Those don't do shit I just do the regular pull-ups Those are just like your biceps

And they kind of work your airbag Three sets to failure Francis said I should Do what he said Come on in, brother yeah we're live hop on a mic dude quit quit fucking around what's going on bro just talking about your lats yeah they're breaking down your body type what do you do to get the big lats oh the big lats yeah what's your what's your go-to uh lots of pull-ups wide wide grip wide grip and uh and those hammer strength machines, arsenal strength machines, just pulls. Yeah.

In wrestling, the most important thing you can do in wrestling is be able to pull. Grip and pull. You know? It's not about pushing. It's a grip and pull. This guy's a wrestler. This guy's a wrestler. He knows about gripping and pulling.

Yeah, he's gripped and he's pulled. Would Askren do anything in the weight room, Ben? Ben Askren is the most unathletic, not strong guy ever. His body type is insane. But I tell you right now, he could lock his arms around all many of us, and we would not be able to get out of it. He hugs well. He hugs well.

Great hugger. Great hugger. But no, seriously, his grip was so good, man. Absolutely godlike. An anomaly. Dude, how have people been in here? Have people been being nice to you? Are they rooting for you in your fight, or are they rooting against you?

Well, everyone except for that freaking Robbie Fox, dude. Yeah. Everyone except for Robbie. He's on my hit list. He's lucky they pulled him away. Yeah. He's over there. I was in studio with him and he was

talking about how Conor was going to knock me out like he knocked out that mascot. That's cruel. You can't win them all over though. Damn, bro. Sometimes they love you sometimes they hate you. That's some bullshit. Would you classify him as a dweeb? Would you call him a dweeb? I don't want to put words in your mouth. Yeah, no. Nerd.

Nerd. I like to use the word nerd. That hits harder than dweeb yeah it hits hard right you know it's because it's because it's also you know pg you know it's very pg and you didn't have to you know say anything that that couldn't be said on yeah it's not too crazy but nerds sometimes nerd well don't some women find nerd sexy yeah i guess that's true women women aren't fucking dweebs i've never seen a woman with a dweeb. When I think of dweeb, I think of like incel. Have you ever dated a nerd? Oh, yeah.

Dweeb? Yeah. I've zipped my toe in poop. Nerds and dweebs? Who's the one thing I don't like? What is it? You don't like dudes that train. No.

No, they're okay, too. You don't like guys with big lats? Yeah, massive. Gosh dang it. Delicious lats. We found the one guy I don't like earlier in the show and I can't remember what it was. It was the dudes that were doing the boot camp. Oh, the dudes who do the boot camp where these guys pay a lot of money for the drill instructors

to make them crawl around on the dirt and stuff like that. I got some friends who do that. Really? Who do the instructing for it? I actually know the guy who started one called The Project. Oh i've read yes i've read all about that what's that so the project is bedros koolian uh and my friend ray cash care ray care yes that's who we're talking about on the hoverboard he's been on the show yeah there you go yeah so yeah it's actually so yeah they they create a military-esque experience for you where they put you through

i think it's like 70 something hours or 50 something hours of of kind of a hell week yeah a condensed hell week so okay i think it's i was just talking about earlier i think especially for men too we all need a battle to fight and an adventure to have and a beauty to win so it kind of it helps fill the void of having the battle to fight and the adventure to have and it's a really cool really cool thing. I've never done it. Big Cat said he realized that that's for him. He wants to go there and get dominated.

He should go. Yeah, we should go. I want someone here to go. Hell no, he's not doing that. He will be fucking dropping out in one second with the first exercise. Operation Blacksite also. We do that in Temecula, California.

No, that sounds fucking hardcore. That sounds... If it has the word operation in it, I'm not... Blacksite? I haven't done an operation in a while. You haven't. I don't know if I've ever done an operation. I want someone here to go and report back and say what it's like.

You've got to go to the project. I'll put them in touch with Bedros. Please do. There was this show that Ray Care did, and everybody was voluntary on the show. And in the last challenge, you had to go to all these different points and do 50 push-ups, 50 pull-ups, 50 squats or something. And at one site, the guy did 49 squats. And they had it on video, called him out in front of everybody. But they're like, why would you cheat one rep when you're like you have to do all

this shit like you've been going through this entire scenario like why would you do that and they called him out and he didn't even have to be there those people that do that are just psychos it's just a crazy fucking mindset yeah it's good though i think it's yeah i mean uh voluntarily throwing yourself into something like that yes you know it could be looked at as crazy or, you know, a nice, a nice safe way to really push yourself or throw yourself into the fire. The hardest you've ever been pushed. What do you think it was through wrestling or MMA? 100% college wrestling.

Yeah. Not even close. College wrestling is, I'd say, 10 times harder than mixed martial arts. I still have nightmares about it. Yeah. You know, because it's nonstop. And you're also, you're not your own person. You're also part of a team, you know, whereas in's non-stop and you're also you're not your own person you're also part of a team you know whereas in mixed martial arts you're

more part of you know you're you're on your own too so you know and i i am obviously known as a guy who works harder harder than most so i push myself a lot i'm constantly working uh but wrestling wrestling cardio and wrestling training was so much harder than yeah but the team aspect is like if you lose, you're letting down your teammates. That's what it comes down to? More like your coaches are your superiors, and your coaches kind of run your life, and your coaches tell you where to be, and then you've got to go to class, and then all that kind of stuff. So it's very military.

I was going to say, it sounds kind of like that. Do you still follow wrestling? I don't as much as I probably should. I was wondering what happened to Jaden Cox at the trials. Yeah, he hurt himself, right? Yeah, he just magically had a knee injury. Yeah, no, I saw he weighed in. He's from Columbia, Missouri, though.

Yeah. That's where my wife is from. Oh, fuck yeah. What else are you doing out here in New York? Well, my wife and son just landed, so I'm going to go back to the hotel and see them. I don't have anything else the rest of the day, so we're going to go check out the city.

Hopefully it's not still... Nice. You want some booze? You want some high noons? You drinking? High noon sounds phenomenal, actually, but I'm good. I'm good.

All right. I didn't know if I'm testing you or... Actually, I will say, hey, the new tequilas, seltzers, absolutely delicious. Oh, that's a fucking fact. They are really good. The lime one is incredible. I always loved the original vodkas, but the tequilas, get out of here with that.

First time I had it was I was in Vegas. I think I actually sent High Noon a message that said, hey, you guys need these in Tennessee. Because they weren't in Tennessee at the time. Now they're right at Bud's Liquor right by my house. So that's damn bro. Dave is going to love that. Dave might fuck around and give you a big-ass contract. I know. Why don't you tell Dave that I actually probably drank

I actually have like three eight-packs at my house right now. Well, now I think I drank a pack. After that fight, have someone throw you a fucking high noon, get that fucking ad money. I'll shotgun the high noon. I'll shotgun the high noon right now if Dave sends me a case.

Yeah, if he fucking sends you a bag. You saw what he gave to Patty, dude. He's throwing around money. What did he give to Patty? A million. A million dollars. Cash? I mean, a contract.

Bad gum, Patty. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy, man. People are just getting million dollars. People are just getting million dollars. People are just getting million dollars. Yeah, I think we all felt the same way. You've got to have an accent. An accent helps.

Yeah, try being opposite Conor McGregor on the show. It's like everything he says is funny. He's like, look at this driver. And everybody's like, ha, ha, ha. That's so great. I'm like, okay, dude. Do you do any accents well? Do you have any accents you could do?

Like not like an Italian accent or anything you could fight him with? No, man. No, no. It could just be you. Just be me, man. Damn, well, having met you, I think I'm rooting for you. I know. I like that.

100%. 100%. He's going me over. I'm rooting for you. I don't like that. He'll figure it out. Like his ass. Once I leave and the nostalgia, the romance sets in, he's like, man, I kind of miss that

guy. Yeah, I'm going to miss you. You have a charm. Then he's really going to want to. You know what? I am rooting for you. There it is. I appreciate you guys.

Thank you guys for letting me come crash on my man. Thanks for coming on. You said I needed to leave like 15 minutes ago, but I saw you. They told us originally, no. We're like, can he come in? They're like, no, no, no. You've got to do this. You've got to do that.

But then we're happy. We got some time. We see you, bro. Thank you, guys. This was a cool little setup. Thanks for coming on. Of course. Best of luck. Come back to New York. You've got to do this. You've got to do that. But then we're happy. We've got some time. We see you, bro. Thank you, guys. This was a cool little setup. Thanks for coming on. Hey, best of luck. Come back to New York.

Yeah, come fuck with us. Next time we'll have some high news for real. Next time we're shotgunning high news. I love that. We'll hold you to that for sure. Fuck yes, dude. All right, man. Good luck.

Appreciate you, bro. Good shit, man. Clean daps, ass. Really clean daps. You've got to pick one of these guys to send to the course. Get them out there. Okay. Yeah, we'll tell Big Cat's bitch ass He does wanna be

Yeah Bitch ass to get the fuck out there See that episode came full circle Cause he knows the guy Did you look at that And we really dapped it up cleanly Alright Anybody fuck up their dap

No He went handshake So I followed with a handshake But that's Still clean I think a handshake is clean I think a handshake is respectable What I think a handshake is respectable. What me and him did was...

Cosmic. Yeah. Something happened. What'd you do? It was Michelangelo David. So clean. It was a nice dab. So clean.

Clean old dab. Smooth. So, you know, the key to a good dab is just let go. Yeah. Take the rod. Yeah. I can't. Just let whatever happens.

I think it's get eyes on it first, see which way they're going. Yeah. And then you just let go. It's like a good beer pong shot where you don't think about it and it goes right in. It's like a... I've got to learn how to dap. I was going in and I was like, I don't know what we're doing. I don't know if it's going to be a handshake or dap.

And then I just let the, you know. It just works. Let the alpha take over. What if you both decide to let go? With a guy like that, it happens. Oh, he's not letting... Yeah. Right.

He's not letting someone else take charge. Right. So that's new to let go. Imagine slow dancing with him. You know he's not letting someone else take charge. Right, so that's new to let go. Imagine slow dancing with him. You know he's leading you all over the room. I would let him tell me to do anything. Yeah, I would melt in his arms. He could ruin my protocol right now.

That makes me terrified of college wrestling. That's just how it is. It's just miserable. You guys hated your coach or what? No. You liked him? No, I liked the coach. It just seems incredibly hard.

It seems really, from everything I've heard, it's tough. But at least you got to wrestle with some guys. At least you got body to body. Yeah, there was camaraderie. That's all it's about. All I've been thinking about is you saying be perfect. Ever since then, I've been trying. Why not?

Why not try? That's an option. It is an option. Why not why not try that's an option it is an option why not do that it's the most obvious thing in the world because sometimes you know an object

at rest will stay at rest but you gotta get up and get it if you wanna be perfect you have me like looking at ways to I don't think I ever will but like I've started

looking again at things I could do to maybe better myself and I'm like well if KB's doing all these things I could do one maybe better myself. And I'm like, well, if KB's doing all these things, I can do one. Be perfect. Oh, no.

Do not do one. Do not do that. That's worse than doing zero. Oh, shit. Trust me. Don't be doing one of the things. Okay. Be perfect.

You released the protocol, did you not? Oh, yeah. I saw the protocol. I zoomed in on it. It's ever-changing. Yeah. That was V1. Has anything been added or subtracted?

Things are way different. We'll get to that. Because you did say if you have a job where you have to get up early. As I was doing it, I didn't realize how much of an advantage it is to not have to go to work until 1. Yeah, dude. Where is it at? Walk slowly to gym.

Imagine someone having a job they had to get to, but it's like, I've got to follow the protocol. You can't get too excited. Wait, KB, you don't sleep with your phone in the room? No, I do. I'm still addicted. Work two to four hours. If you have a job that requires more hours,

morning start time, alter career, and restart protocol. Simple as that workday was satisfying jog home you had a fulfilling day of work if it was any good days that were you jogged home yes oh you can't if you happen after a good day of work i'm'm excited. I'm satisfied. I'm proud. What would be a neutral phone app you'd save? Look at the apps listed. Weather Calendar Wells Fargo. Guess what? Wells Fargo is off.

What would be neutral? I just got a satisfying amount of money. By day 40, these apps will feel amazing to look at. Google Drive. What would be neutral masturbation to complete. It's not possible. No aids from arousing. I have a team of dudes in my DMs that are trying this,

and they're on like day three. Cannot be dopamine neutral and masturbate. Yes, you can. No, you can't. Yes, you can. You're so dopamine masturbating. Yeah, the orgas. No, you can't. Yes, you can. You're so dopamine-intruding. Yeah, the orgasm will be dopamigenic. But the lead-up

won't be. Even the precipice of coming will be completely clinical. Where did you post this? Are you frowning? It's clinical. It's like the It's just like... It's like the emoji with the straight line.

Where was this posted? Anus. I just sent it to Mook and my notes are... Try it out. Try it out. But you also have do the crossword, but if you're doing too well, immediately stop. It's too rewarding.

You have to be challenged. Everything has to be a big challenge to uncover the word. Guys, I'm telling you. Be perfect. Have a perfect day. So you, I can't believe you require a guy like you seems like a semen retention guy.

Not like a required nightly admission in the pursuit of prospection no I'm all about semen you gotta get it out porn is destroying people it's not even a sexual perversion thing what is? It's people who feel meaningless. Damn. Why? Why do you think they're drawn to porn? Just like any other drug. Why do people do heroin?

Because they're lonely. Because it feels good. No, because they have no human connections. They have no meaning. So are you off the porn? Yes. For how long? I don't know. We'll see.

I didn't see anything about lovemaking on there. Yeah, people somehow misconstrued. They think I'm celibate. No. Fucking idiots. Some guy was like,

yeah, I'm following everything to a T my wife is me yeah he said me and my girlfriend are like what what should we do about the celibacy

I said what are you talking about fuck your girlfriend you weirdo but we got a good team we got about 12 or 13 guys you think that these

are like Rinko riders or they're like they're in the same vein are you are you like a group chat? Yeah. Is it real?

Protocol boys? I'm just giving them new fun. You just got to be so angry. It keeps growing every day. I give them a new thing to do. Not making their life worse and worse. Are you experimenting with that? Yes.

Are you doing it? I'm telling them shit that I'm not doing half of that. I'm doing like 30%. These are soldiers. This is literally Fight Club. You need to get a house where they can live in. I would love to.

Just stack them up and have them do acts of destruction of corporate art. Some of them are contributing to the group chat too often. That means they're failing the protocol. You're on your phone too much. You're getting rewarded from communication too much. You've got to get in there and be like, hey, I'm going to only say this once. Parasocially, they're fucked.

What are the things that you have on the protocol to get you out of your comfort zone? Whatever. It's all individual. You gave examples of what you do. Yeah. Like dancing in a park. Yeah, that would be going to the park for me is in an is an extreme discomfort zone right so that's when i really like like full choreographed dance uh no just like it's almost

worse i'm only like half committing. I'm walking around Washington Square Park self-consciously bobbing my shoulders. People have probably seen me. Dancing in a crowded park FaceTiming cousins. That's extreme, extreme. FaceTiming cousins is extreme. Yes, try it today.

15 minutes, FaceTime one of your cousins. You're probably going to be uncomfortable the whole duration. Afterwards, you will feel amazing. Yeah, it does one of your cousins. You're probably going to be uncomfortable the whole duration. Afterwards, you will feel amazing. Yeah, it does feel so good after. I can't believe I was so worried about that. You'll feel amazing. I like wearing Lee's favorite shirt out in public. Something that just fits horribly.

Something that you're self-conscious about. And then it's tempting to elicit a broken English conversation with a bodega catcher. Yeah, that's just moderate discomfort. And then you have sauna on there, but if you see somebody attractive in the sauna, you have to restart. Yeah, you have to restart. You can't be getting aroused in the sauna. That's not the point of the sauna.

What if it's just like a good looking dude? It's the same, the restart. Really? You're not aroused though. You're just like, oh. What is baseline? just like a good looking dude? It's the same restart. Really? You're not aroused though. What is baseline arousal? Because I imagine for this protocol after doing this for like months your baseline arousal

has to be like way higher than most people's. You're probably just constantly horny. Because you're never doing anything to dull the senses. Your senses are acute. You're like somebody. Arousal will have the same effect as like a PED. So you hit the gym when you get hard. You get hard.

You'll lift more. You'll lift more intensely, more frequently, more focused. What if you get aroused at the gym? Work through it. Yeah. Reset. Start your day over. Reset protocol. All right. Reset. Start your day over. Reset protocol.

Alright. Should we end this? That was awesome. For the people that stayed until the end. Yeah, you guys really caught a fucking gem. I'm fucking weeping. You guys in tomorrow? Yeah.

Tomorrow, Thursday? Yeah. Fuck yeah. I will be here tomorrow. Aw, man. I'm going to Sass's show tonight, dude. I'm going to Sass's show. Where's it at?

The stand? Yeah, are you going to that? Yeah, I'm trying to. Is that cool? Sure. I texted you and asked if I could come. Just don't be expecting him to get a lot out of me. That's not good. I mean, yeah, you're going to get what lot out of me. That's not good.

I mean, yeah, you're going to get what you get on stage. He's not going to talk to you after. That's what he's saying. That's basically what I'm saying. Don't be expecting him to be having a fucking night of our lives. You're not making any memories with Sass tonight. All right, no memories. I tried to hang out at the bar last night after the show,

and I was like, this is awful. This would be practice. You should drink. Hell no. I'm clean, bro. How did you feel today? What do you mean, how did I feel today? After not drinking last night. Fine. Yeah, good, right? I will say, I got home last

night and I thought I was like, mentally I was like i like mentally i was like i'm fucked up right now because it's like every time we do that show i get hammered it's free drinks and uh and then i was like oh shit wait i didn't have anything to drink tonight it was such a weird feeling to be like oh i'm sober right now yeah for a while for me it felt like sobriety felt like a high. Yeah. Dude. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

You're either with me or you're against me. I'm with you. I took everything out of my pockets. And it's like usually when I'm doing that, that's when I'm like... And I was like, oh shit, I'm completely sober. It was very weird. It was a weird feeling. You order pizza and you're like, wait, I don't need this.

Oh, yeah. Good on you, Sass. Well, that sounds like it sucks, bro. It does. It's terrible. It's so boring. Well, let's drink tonight, then. Oh.

You had a solid one year of going to the bars. Yeah, and I fucking went too hard hard and now I'm disciplining myself. That's healthy. I just can't, it can't be like, I do stand-up comedy every single night. It can't be like, oh, that went well, time to get fucked up again. Like I did last night and the night before.

You know? Right, so you had two good nights, now it's the weekend. It's Wednesday night. Yeah. Sounds like you need to fucking... We'll have a sit down later. Alright.

Clear out your system. Sounds nice. Get me on KB's protocol. You should go on the protocol. You're not drinking. You're wasting your not drinking by not being on the protocol. I know, I should.

I need to do more shit. You're doing the hardest thing on the protocol and you won't do the easy things like FaceTime Simon your cousin truly it's actually it hasn't been that bad it's more

like once you just get the idea oh yeah I'm not gonna drink tonight then then it's then it's smooth sailing it's more the build up to going to the bar

and then you're like I can't I can't bro Francis has sex tonight too bro I can't believe I can't drink tonight and then you're like maybe I should just turn back maybe I should drink tonight and then you're like, maybe I should just turn back.

Maybe I should drink tonight. And then you're like, eh, no, I'm not going to drink tonight. How are you going to be funny on a Hannah Burner TikTok if you don't have some booze in you? She doesn't put me on those things. Why not? Because I don't hang out outside. So that for me would be a discomfort zone.

I would do them. I would do them easily, but I just never am around when she does them. Yeah, I'm up at 1045 tonight. I'll probably get there at 1040. Leave by 10, by 11. Perfect. Yeah. I'll probably give you like a little wave when I'm leaving.

See you, man. Thanks for coming out. I expect nothing less from you, brother. I'm just going as a fan. I love your craft. And so I'm going to go fucking check your shit out. Just, you know, see the progress of one of the greats. Yeah. It's like catching Baby Gronk in his entire stage. Seeing him blossom into one of the greats of all time.

So I'll report back with how Sass did tomorrow. Be honest. Be dead honest. My vision's clouded by how much I want him to do well. I'll have a good report tomorrow. I've always enjoyed myself. It'll be good. I haven't been yet.

I want to go. Way better when I'm sober. I had to host last night. Oh my god. Is that hard? It's not hard. It's just you got to go up first, like cold open.

Yeah. You got to be like, anyone here from Connecticut? And do all that shit to get the crowd engaged. You said that? You just got to go, oh, anyone here not from New York?

Yeah. Oh, I'm from Pennsylvania. And you're like, that's awesome, dude. I love Pennsylvania. Ask if they're from Vatican City. Yeah, that's awesome, dude. I love Pennsylvania. Ask if they're from Vatican City. Yeah, that's a good one. And then you just segue into jokes.

That's awesome. Hit them with a little Matt Rife. Yeah, that's pretty much what exactly, that's actually exactly what I did. That's awesome. What? And then I was like, so cute. Yeah, I don't really do crowd work that much,

so hosting's kind of weird for me. But it was fun. It was a fucking awesome show. It was our best one we've ever had. Because you were sober. Yeah, right away. All right, Bray, you want to sign us off? No.

That's not me. All right, we can keep talking then. Well, I'm not second in command. I think you are. I'm like seventh in command. So for my bangs tonight, I'm thinking of doing starting

way back here. I'm actually curious. I'm going to talk about it. I'm genuinely curious. How does thick bangs work? You've got to start way further back. How do you know what it's going to look like? I thought that would be tall bangs. This will be my fourth time in three years trying bangs.

It's never worked out. This time I want it to work out. Normally I cut my hair too. I'm going to keep it long. So then I'll be wearing it up but with cute bangs. That's the idea. That's going to be awesome. That was a good visual right there.

It was. This is exactly what it's going to look like. What if it's too thick? Do you go thin them out? No, then I cry. Too thick? There's nothing you can do if No, then I cry. Oh, okay. Too thick? There's nothing you can do if you fuck up bangs.

You just have to wait seven months. Yeah, that's stressful. So I'm really looking forward to it. It's all I can think about. Bangs genuinely do not make sense to me at all. I don't know how they become how you get them. You have them. Yeah. Yeah, you have them.

How do you get them? They're going to have to. The lady's going to have to. Do they just straighten your hair and they just cut it? I guess. I don't know. I normally do it with kitchen scissors at like 2 a.m. Is it ever crooked?

I'm having like a breakdown, huh? Is it crooked, though? Don't you always cut it shorter than you want? Is that a girl thing to do? Yeah. Because you pull them. You pull them tight. You cut them, and then they spring back up.

Those are some of my favorite videos. Why don't you just not pull them tight? It seems like an easy solution. I'm going to ask the lady to not pull them tight. I'm going to say keep it loose. That would suck. But also I don't want them too wide. Are your bangs super short? I want long strands

right to here. I want like one inch of bangs. I want one little bang. You don't want wide? I just want like the tiniest bit of bangs. You want a racing stripe is what you want. Are you going to show them a picture? Yes. Of who?

It's actually a comedian. Let's see. Rosebud Baker? Yes. She posted a picture yesterday with her bangs. I was like, I want to look like her. She's so fucking cute. Yeah, because I was going to say,

you were talking about, and the way you were describing it, I'm like, I think she's just describing Rosebud Baker right now. That's such a creep. Oh no, that makes me so creepy. She's so cute. And she's pregnant. creep. Oh no, that makes me so creepy. She's so cute. And she's pregnant.

Yeah. I thought if that beautiful looking person sees, she's so pretty anyway. She's always on the flyers for a stand-up show. But mine won't be as wide as hers. You liked it. I did. Oh, you busted.

She creeped and the show. That's such a creep. the show such a creep it's always so embarrassing taking photos in to like get your hair cut you do that? we have a screenshot of her face to show the hairdresser which is so weird but that's what I want

that's what I'm going to look like tomorrow this hot comedian she's an SNL writer right? yeah oh shit I'm glad we didn't end the show hot comedian. She's an SNL writer, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. Really? Oh.

I'm glad we didn't end the show. Slow pace. I want a slow pace. Take your time. He's doing the KB protocol. He's in protocol. He's going to jog out of here when he's done. I want Wallow to see the protocol.

Yeah. Wallow to see the protocol. Yeah. Wallow thinks about the protocol. Fuck with it, Loki. I think he'll high-key fuck with it. Holy shit, is Stanko in a sling?

Yeah, that was our fault. The wet wheel. Hit by a car, right? No, he, so he got wet on this show and then he put his wet clothes into a bag and then he rode his bike home

and the bag got caught in the wheel and he fell off and broke his shoulder. No way. Yes, it was the Frank Date episode. He broke his shoulder? Elbow.

Elbow. Broke my elbow. Why were you so sassy about that? Because of the wet wheel. Yeah. Yeah. We got it. We heard it.

We heard it. The elbow. He broke his elbow. Sometimes I confuse the two. Different types of joints, though. One's a hinge. We heard it. The elbow. He broke his elbow. Sometimes I confuse the two. Different types of joints, though. One's a hinge. One's a ball and socket. Sass, man.

We could really end this any time, bro. End it. It's on you. I don't want it. I'm not the ending guy. I want it to be wispy, but not too wispy. I want... They're not like...

Playful. Right. Playful. Playful. Playful and not needing too much work. Not too much blow drying. But like are they all the same length? That's the thing.

If you don't make them thick enough, then you have to style them a lot. But if you make them thick... Here's an example of bad bangs. Who was bad bangs? Hayley Williams and Paramore a couple years ago. Yeah, they were... I think of bangs like Zooey Deschanel. That's what I'm hoping to be a Zooey Deschanel.

Rashida Jones had good bangs. Yep. But when you see... You know badel. Rashida Jones had good bangs. Yep. But when you see, you know bad bangs. Yeah, Rashida Jones did have good bangs. I've had bad bangs the last time. Yeah, see, that's what I've done. Oh, you do not want that. That's too wide.

It's like she went shorter than that. It was on purpose. I think she went shorter than that once upon a time. She's hot enough to do it. She's like, that one looks good. That's too wide for me. That's what I'm going for. I never wear my hair down, so I just want cute bangs.

Hayley Williams is the goat. You just fucking disparaged her bangs for no reason. You bang shamed her. I love her freaking tunes. It's all about the tunes. I really thought Bang Talk all about the tunes. I really thought Bang Talk would end the show. I like her acapella

Still Into You YouTube video. Chills. Chills. Down my freaking spine. They just did MSG like three nights. Robbie was there.

Robbie, he's always there. Uzi was there. Robbie's got a residency. Uzi went on stage, yeah. Robbie's got a residency. At MSG. Got a standing seat every show. That looked like a great show.

Yeah, bro. I'm super into it. Robbie has one of my favorite bands from high school coming in today, and I'm a little nervous. Ooh. I don't want to spoil it. It's definitely a band that none of us know. You all know them.

Really? Yeah. Little Big Fish? No, no. It's The Used. Oh, my God. I used know them. Really? Yeah. Little Big Fish? No, no. It's the Used. Oh, my God. I used to love the Used. Oh.

They just did a concert at Pier 17. Yeah. That's an awesome venue. It was last week. Oh, I thought it was last week. It was noticeable. It's a bit too long

to get it for me. That's one of the tunes. East of Inc. So here I am. I want to get a picture with Burt McCracken. Hell yeah, that's right. He dated Kelly Osbourne. That's right. Made him look like a doofus on the Osbourne show. They did make him look like a doofus on the Osbourne show, but I had a crush on him back then.

Jokes on them. Yeah. Did any of them die? No. The Osbournes? Yeah, they're all still alive, right? Yeah, Did any of them die? No. The Osbournes? Yeah, they're all still alive, right? Yeah, Ozzy's not doing too well. They got in great shape though, right?

The kids? I know Jack. The kids? Shined. Remember he'd say it like that? It's a good show. Great show. Except for what they did to Burt McCracken.

Yeah. What'd they do to him? He made him look like a dunce. Like a real, like, yeah. They played, like, goofy music every time he was on. Oh. The trombone. How sucky would it be to watch your episode and see that they put that in there?

Like, to see. Dude, that's, like, everything I'm in. I'll be like, that was a fun yak. And then I'll be scrolling Instagram and they clip me looking like a dumbass for .5 seconds. You're the Burt McCracken of the yak. Everything I do.

Sass thought Hayley Williams' bangs looked bad. That'll be like the one thing clip from this episode. They know what they do. They know exactly what they're doing. I've brought this up before.

Look how fucking stupid sass is. They're bullying you. What can you do? You know? Who's it going to be in Chicago? Someone's going to be someone.

Could be you. White Sox days. Could's going to be someone. Could be you. White Sox Dave. Could be anyone in this room. Could be White Sox Dave. Won't be me. Yeah, they're saying that you're the White Sox Dave. Unreal. I'm enjoying this conversation.

I'm too. Yeah, this has been very nice. This is still nice. What do you mean has been? We're still doing it. It's still sass. I'm not doing it. I got in here so late.

I got to go in a second, though. Did you see that years ago, Charlie Puth said to his driver, I'm hungry? Yeah. Did you see today? Yeah, he came clean. He said he didn't say that. Oh, you did it. Finally.

Yes. Good for him. Did he say, I'm hungies? Uh-huh. His driver took him all over to go get food. Wait, what do you mean you heard that? There was a news article. I have it tweeted on my Twitter, TJ.

Can you retweet this? It was like a story in three parts. Three parts, yeah. The most believable thing ever. Who reported it? We'll pull it up because I just glossed over. Sorry, I'm not a fucking expert. Not the person, but I'm saying,

was it the security driver that told them? Yeah. When Charlie Puth wants lunch, he tells his driver, I'm hungies. And then Charlie Puth denies being hungies. 2019. But then, 12 hours ago, Charlie Puth finally admits he says I'm hungies. Yeah. When that first came out, that was like the biggest thing on Twitter for two years.

Yeah. People would quote it constantly. I still say it all the time. You're about to get a Stereo Gum article about you. Yeah, probably. Damn. What a legend. Roll credits, Sass?

I think it was the driver that told, obviously it's the driver that told because no one else is there, right? Somebody else in the car with him? Maybe. Drivers don't say shit. Yeah. But if somebody was telling you they were hungies, maybe you would snap. Yeah, I'd be pissed off.

Probably snap eventually. Is it on the driver to find the place for him to go eat when he's hungies? It is a super funny thing to say. I'm hungies. Getting in the car. Driver. I'm hungies. Getting in the car. Driver. I'm hungies. Chouting it from the back of the car is funny too.

Hungies. And then you just... The window opens down and you say, what? I said hungies. What'd you say, Sass? You said that's the act? No, it sounds like you just said that. Shit.

Why don't you sign us off, Sass? Why are you not doing this? Our work ethic is too strong to end the show. We have to go record. Abruptly. Yeah, we have to go record. Do you have your shit to go do? Are you recording? Huh? You recording? Huh?

Are you recording? Yeah, yeah. You guys got to get at it. You guys got to end the show. I got to scroll daily loud for a blog. Daily loud for the blog. All right, let us go, Seth. Release us.

That's my eyes. Like that ghost scene from Return of the King. FSU Brando saying thanks, everybody, for the love. And also I'm getting some good feedback about our interview with Michael there. Oh, nice. From our booking department. They're really excited about how it went. Booking department reaches out to you?

Oh, yeah. Everyone reaches out to Roan. Yeah. Roan has the Slack app on his phone. He's in Slack. I'm so excited for you to be not here one day on vacation and then they have to ask me to

go give a speech. I hope you do. Francis might be the backup speech guy. He's gone in and given speeches with me before. I can't even get a

wave back from Yago. Have you got to talk to Melly yet? No. I don't know Melly yet. I haven't got to get to meet the

interns. I have to say. YNW. Oh, his trial's the 20th. I think you need to talk to him. You think so? Yeah. You got Hank in there?

Wait, don't we have an intern called Mellie or something? Do we? I don't know. Fuck. Oh, that's good. Good for Greer. Oh, I saw some of his... the videos of him in court.

He's just, like, not standing up for the judge, blowing kisses. What up? Happy belated birthday, Hank. Belated? Yesterday was the big 3-0. Old as hell. Old as fuck. Yeah.

Feels super old. Have you been in Chicago? I was there last weekend for three days. How is it? It's awesome. I heard you're selling your car. I'm giving it to memes for $2. Rudy said he wants it for $2.

Rudy missed his chance. Yeah. I offered it to Rudy. He said no. So what's going to be your new whip? I got an Audi. Damn. God damn.

Which one? A5? Huh? Used. I8? Used. That's just smart What year?

2020 Pay cash or what? Yeah I had How much money do you have in your bank account? Not a lot anymore That's not true Yeah you're rich as fuck He's buying Audi's cash Let's get that How much money do you have in your bank account? Not a lot anymore. That's not true. Yeah, you're rich as fuck.

It could be true. You're buying Audi's cash. Not a lot of money. Let's get that. Wait, what was the model? You sold your car for $2. Yeah. I bought it for $1.

That's 100% profit, Sass. You fool. Wait, but what model Audi? Q3. TJ, can we get the MSRP on a Q3 Audi from 2020? Let's pull that up. Hank, you sit tight. You don't need to look on your 30-year-old beautiful

face. Why are you guys even going this late? Because I work hard and we care about the company? Sass won't end the show. Kind of a self-explanatory question. Why aren't other... Oh, it's a mom car. Oh my god, Sam!

I thought you were talking like a two-seater. No, no. He's just going. That is good, though. That's like... Oh, no. Drake has a line.

He's like, my... What is it? He's like, my... You're looking for help. It's like his friends who pick the car based on trunk size. He's first. Yeah, so you're like a team player. Yeah, trunk guy.

I like me. I would have gone Audi i8. Ash. R8. R8? Is that what it's called? I think that car is fucking cool. Oh, Big Cat's done.

The Q3, yeah. Come on in again. Big Cat. Yeah. Everything's circling back around. Hank, I'm joking. I love your car. Shit.

Thanks, man. Welcome back, big man. All right. I'm joking I love your car Welcome back big man Alright I'm gonna go do a photo shoot now Sass just called Hank's car A mom car Oh no Instantaneous

It was me He just Oh no That's how you know He meant it He burped his whole heart Yeah I genuinely feel bad

He was like Oh it's a mom car You have a mom car Well he said he had I like my car I don't Oh that's Oh no I'm 30, it's a mom car. You have a mom car? Well, he said he had an out. I like my car. Oh, that's awesome. I'm 30. I'm 30.

I'm basically a mom. Yeah, your mom age. I heard Audi, and I was expecting like a two-seater. It's a mom car. It's a mom car. Kid and a dog in the backseat. Yeah. Yeah.

Soccer balls. Car seats in the back. Cheerios in between the seats. Boosters. Like a little guardian angel hanging from the rear view mirror. There's fingerprints all on the backseat windows. Yes, there's some crayons in the back. Cheerios in between the seats. Boosters. Like a little guardian angel hanging from the rear view mirror. There's fingerprints all on the backseat windows. Yes, there's some crayons in the back. Yeah, boogers.

Yeah. Mom car. Popcorn everywhere on the ground. What color is it? It's got front and backs on the roof, so. What color? The kids. It's blue.

Like dark blue or light blue? It's like royal-ish blue A little darker than royal blue I think Ooh, alright I like that DJ said that Chandler came on And was just talking about Ray K. Scher

Yeah, he knows him I love Ray K. Scher So I haven't said anything bad I want to do it I want to be subbed I want to be dominated by him Alright, I gotta go Hank, you're on the wheel now. Oh wait, Big Cat, can you

sign us off? Sass won't do it. Yeah, Sass won't. That's why we're still here. See you tomorrow. Oh, thank God. Outro Music