The Yak - The Yak's BEST and STRANGEST Zoom Guests of 2026 (So Far): Mon Jun 29, 2026

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

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You the robot I'm the coolest one out of all of us That was incredible Ian How's up guys? How are we doing? Thank you. Thank you for hanging out.

Yes, Kate. I have my morning glass over here. Oh, there we go. Where are you right now? Is this Ian Cobble? Yes, Kate. Oh my God, I was just talking about that documentary. I've followed you on Instagram for like 15 years now, sorry.

Well, yeah, I'm a lot nicer in person, I promise. Okay. I'm a fan. Oh, wow. So thank you so much for joining us. Where are you located right now? So I'm in Napa Valley. Yes, I'm from Huntington Beach down south, but I moved up here, got bit by the wine bug,

played tennis at Sonoma State, started traveling up the coast and just realizing that eating and drinking is kind of the way forward if you want to enjoy yourself. I love it. So have you had a chance to watch any of our Somali's videos? You know, I just saw a clip, and I saw that he wrote that Pina Noir is the World. worst wine in the world, which, you know, I'll send you guys some bottles and change your mind. It's actually one of the best grapes in the world. But that was the first link that my assistant here at the office sent me.

She's like, you've got to teach these people something. And I was like, all right. Well, he doesn't represent us. Yeah, he doesn't represent us. He's separate. But you can't send us the bottles. He just did a wine review yesterday where he described it as a taste like a bee stinger in liquid form and kind of like poison.

Have you ever had that wine? You know, that's an interesting tasting that I thought I was creative, but that's pretty good. A bee stinger in liquid form. So it's pretty sour, probably artificially insidulated and tasted like it's on the bottom shelf of your local 7-11. Yeah, it was grapey and boozy. He's going to win. Yeah, you ever had like a grapey wine that tastes like it has alcohol in it? Like boozy kind of?

Like grape drink? Like grape drink? I don't know. Or a wet? A wet? A wet? So wait, how long did you go to school? for to become a master Somali?

And how many are there in the world? I got a job at the wine merchant of Beverly Hills making nothing, but I was like drinking two weeks of salary worth of wine every day at work. And just like not really drinking everything, but tasting the great wines of the world. And, you know, tasting $2,000 bottles of wine and, like, truly realizing that wine

is some of the greatest pleasure you can have in this life. And so I just started traveling and learning and reading books and taking tests. And finally, I passed the master's, exam about nine years after getting into wine, but I've been into wine about 25 years now. And how many are there, Master Somaliers? There's like 280 in the world that have passed since I think 1970, something like that. There's around five in the in the world that passed every year, maybe 10, some two years.

That's crazy. I have a question. So if you blindly take a sip of a wine, can you identify your country of origin and like what kind it is? Yeah, most of the time. I'd say it depends on if it's classic or not. Like if you go to Bulgarian, you know, go to the local store and bring it home and pour me this random wine, probably not. But it's kind of like music.

You know, if there's a lot of, you know, classic styles of genres that you can identify. But there's, you know, maybe 100 to 150 wines that can be on the test at the Master Soma exam. You have to analyze the site, the color, the tears, how fast they come down. You know, if there's any color on the reflection, gives you, you know, evidence if it's a cool climate or warm climate. The nose, there's different fruits, flowers, earth. earth and wood type of different types of oak and oxidation levels if there's any sort of bubbles in the glass can tell you it's screw cap or not and then on the palate you have to talk about the acid alcohol complexity tannid length and

based on that you're kind of describing almost like a person this guy's six foot tall blonde you know sharp jaw where from kind of thing and you could maybe guess where this person might come from right it's kind of hard to assume that for people sometimes but wine has a very specific specific level of acidity, for example, nebiolo from Northern Italy, high acid, high alcohol, high tanon. So if you taste a wine, you chew it, you get this really tanic kind of like cotton balls pulling at your lips. There's only a couple really high tannin wines in the store in the world that have high alcohol and high acid. So all of a sudden, the answer is kind of easy. It also has this oranging edge on the meniscus.

So at the end of the day, you know, you just have to really, A, love wine and just start tasting stuff. And then you'll eventually get pretty good at it, just like anything. If you, you know, pick up a tennis racket tomorrow, you probably won't hit it over the net. But, you know, you spend 10 years on it. What if you don't love wine? If you don't love wine, you should drink a cold beer, you know. I'm trying. I'm trying to like wine.

So I guess what is a... Well, come out. Come out to Napa. He is. He is. Oh, wow. This worked out. We're all there.

You know, take you around and if you don't like anything. If you don't like anything, you don't like anything. that I show you, we'll go shoot, pool, and drink beer and call it a day and send you. Beer gave him a heart attack, so he's trying to... Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we can drink a non-alcoholic.

Yeah. The way you talk about wine just reminds me so much about Che, like how he talks about. Birds of others. So he's going to do a wine review right now, a blind one. If you can...

Oh, wait, do we have? Yeah, come on out. I have the two over here. I didn't open them. Kate, should you show him the bottle? And then he can agree or disagree with what Che is saying? Oh, yeah, yeah. Step away.

Leave Che. We need a wine opener, though. I didn't, sorry, my bad. Chee, go find us a wine opener. I thought he was like coming in. Okay. Che's away. Go to the kitchen, dude.

Can you explain some of the words you said most of them actually, but like meniscus? You say it if you feel like the edge. Okay, so here's a glass of wine. So if you're actually looking at the edge, so you're always going to look down on the bottle. So I don't know if you can actually see this. But if you're going to look down the edge of the glass or the edge of the wine is the meniscus. So if you have a glass of, say, 25-year-old Bordeaux, a red wine that's been aged, oxygen breaks down the color molecules, and the edge of the wine will show a little bit of like an amber or like a brownish kind of amber, like I don't describe it, like an old stone that you can see through. So there's like very bright purple and pink for young red wines as they get older, the color degrades.

And you can tell the age of the wine based on site. So you can tell a lot of stuff just by looking at the wine. Ian, so don't, please don't take offense to this. I feel like we know each other very well now. Did you, you've just found like the classiest way to be an alcoholic. You know, talk to my dad, you know. I was it sophisticated alcoholism. I drink three bottles each at my buddy's house yesterday,

but they were all pre-1970, so it's completely fun. Yeah, yeah. It's a genius life act. All right, so wait, Che go away. He's going to. Hey, hand me the opener and the bottle. And the bottle. and the bottle opener and then walk away.

Sorry. I'm going to tell him what this wine is. Basketball court. Yeah, he's out on the basketball court. All right. So, so, Chege, walk away. Walk away. Get out of here.

This wine is a white wine. It is a Sancier, an appellation sansire, Controllet Les Buffants by Roger and Christoph Moreau. Vignons and Chegnot. Do you know what that means? I don't know. Okay.

Yeah, Chedgneau. It's just, that's the village. So Sanser is a region in the Lower Valley of France. specifically in the central vineyards, about an hour and a half southwest of Paris. It used to exist underneath the shallow ocean for about 180 million years. So all of the decomposing sea life compressed in the limestone, and that's where they plant mostly Sauvignon Blanc. Reds are Pinoir.

They all make a really good rosé from Pina-Noir as well. So it's one of the best appellations in the world. Typically finding notes of, like, I would say, like passion fruit, Kiwi, kind of this gooseberry, lime, a little bit of oyster shell. I would say some fresh white flowers. You could taste oyster shell? Yeah, yeah. So like when you have white wine planted on limestone,

sometimes you get this kind of like crushed oyster shell smell. Next time get a bottle of Shabli for him, C-H-A-B-L-I-S and blind him on some Shibli. You know, pay $30 at a local wine store. And you'll smell what like real crust oyster shells, oyster shell smell like. That's awesome. All right, Chee, come back. So he's going to try it. He's going to guess.

Bufants. If this motherfucker He's going to guess So Ian, don't tell him anything about it. He's going to blind guess the region, the country of origin, the year, and the name of the wine, and he's going to also tell you what he

tastes. There should be France is the country, region is Loire, Appalachian, a sunset, great. All right, so he's back in here now. He's going to put his headphones on, so don't tell him anything. But anyone else just like a little glass? Yeah, I would take it a little. All right, Che. Let us let it rip. This is your

Your third episode is Somali Che. And we have literally a guy who's, there's 200 of them in the world. And we have him on the yak. Okay, here he goes. Smells funny. Okay? Good start. It smells, or, I mean, it looks bubbly.

So that's different than. Any odor comps? No. I mean, it looks like a, like, fairly well-hydrated person's urine. Okay. The smell is, somewhat off-putting, but it's not like crazy strong. Okay.

I don't know. You're supposed to like swirl it, I think. Yeah, just do you. Just do you. Don't be intimidated by Ian. It's got, it's got something. A little pro tip, put your nose into the glass a little bit, and you'll smell something more.

Like, yeah. Like put like the edge of the glass kind of like right here. See this little point between your lip and your nose, kind of put the edge of the glass right there. And you should smell something more. Get it really close to your not. It really go. Yeah, you don't really want to get the wine.

too close to your nostril because then you'll just smell alcohol or you just end up sniffing it your nose. You told you, Che. Yeah. But you want it about two to three inches above and all the aromas and molecules are coming up and you're, you want to smell those. But if you're like if you're smelling scotch, two inches above the glass would be more accurate, but when you're smelling wine, get your, get your nose right in there.

I know what it is. All right. pollen. Okay. All right. Pollen. Okay. What is up with the bees?

Taste it. And tell us what you get. is this supposed to be cold? Yes. Sorry, it was out on a table. That's fine, that's fine. I just need it for context. It doesn't taste cold.

No. A warm bee. So this is hard because it is supposed to, it tastes like a very old fruit snack that's been like in your back pocket. Okay. And like you've sat on it before, but you're hungry. Okay. It's the Welch's brand, exactly. Okay, exactly.

Not necessarily grapefruit. flavor, but just all of them but it is grape, yeah. So what's the flavor of the fruit snack? That's the key question. It's all of them mush together. All of them. Every fruit.

Every fruit. Yeah, it's not matter base. Yeah. All of them. Hold on. But there is great. Are there grapes? Do you taste grapes?

The aftertaste isn't as strong. I feel like it's less boozy and alcohol. Like, if I had to guess, well, you are. This alcoholic content is lower. than 14.1. Okay. And then do you want to do country of origin?

So the taste is just Welch's fruit snacks mushed together. Yes. In a back pocket. So you taste pants? A little bit. A little bit of pants. Some notes of pants. Yeah.

Notes of pants. I do taste some grape, but that's not like the strongest flavor. It is just mush. Find the strongest flavor for us. Identify which of the fruit snacks is. merging the most. Texture-wise, it's liquid. Well, it does have some notes of dry.

Okay. But it also is kind of like... I can't believe we're doing this in. If this makes sense, it tastes a little bit sticky. Okay. Okay. Sticky. Okay, do you want to do a guess?

Yes. So I'm also going to add in a price point. Oh, okay. Great. Make it even more difficult for yourself. Country of origin. I'm going to say American. Okay.

In what region, though? Region. I'm going to say, uh, Oregon. Okay. What part of Oregon? I don't know. I don't know many times. Portland.

Okay. Okay, Portland. So they made with a Portland. Year. It's an TIFO one. Yeah. I'm going to say this is 2022, because it does taste a little, old. Okay.

Price point, I feel like this is not the lowest, but I feel like it's like a $20 bottle. And the name of it? Um, is this Sauvian Blanc? Okay. Ian, how do you do? It did pretty good. Sauvignon Blanc is the grape. Oh, hey! And what about the country of origin? Is it Portland? The country of origin, yeah, you're about a 10-hour flight away. So this is coming from from southwest of Paris from an area called the Loire Valley, specifically an Appalachian called

Sancerra. Okay. Okay. All right. What about the alcohol? I was telling them before you're on. Oh, wow. Sauvignon Blanc planted on limestone.

So it's this area that for 180 million years, there was a sea decomposing sea life compressing to limestone. They planted Sauvignon Blanc on it. So you get this really kind of oceanic, this little bit of like oyster shell. And you were definitely right on every fruit in the world mashed together in your back pocket. He nailed it. Nailed it. Variety of berries.

Classic notes would be more like passion fruit, gooseberry, lemon, lime. So can notes, notes can't be dry? Not necessarily. You smell a little bit of like a green chive, almost like a dice kind of like a weird onion-y kind of smell. Maybe you're getting a little bit of that. Also, we need to get you some good glasses. If your wine tastes plastic, you're not going to really smell much.

You're going to smell like 30% of the wine. Okay. Getting something like a good Gabriel glass like I have here. or something like that. This is making me want to try wine. Ian, how often are you tasting new wines? Every day, you know, I probably taste, I don't know, some months, 300, some months, 1,000 different wines.

But yeah, it's my job, it's my life. And, you know, when I'm over in Europe, I'll sometimes be at seven or eight producers in one day. Each producer, you're tasting seven, eight wines. So, you know, you're spending 14 hours tasting wine. And then you go to dinner and drinking wines and hopefully get up and feel okay the next day. What are some of the most unique or absurd flavor notes you've ever experienced?

Yeah, I'm kind of well known for a fresh tennis ball can. Dave Portnoe actually referred to it when he put his nose in a glass. And Costa Brown, he was drinking at some pizza place during the quarantine. I watched a lot of his reviews. But he put his nose in the glass. He's like tennis balls and kind of like he said something about. the Somme reference, but that's the classic note for, uh, for Clare Valley Riesling in the south of Australia. So you have this area that is Riesling, which can be reductive. They put in stainless

steel and then bottle it under screw cap and the wine can smell a little bit like reduction in general for white wine, smells like an off-gassing mattress or like a new sofa you just bought. Oh. And you go into your house and you're like it smells like that kind of new car smell. Fresh rubber hose, like if you just bought a new rubber hose at Home Depot and you take the plastic off, you get that fresh green kind of plasticy smell. Those are some interesting tasting notes. I'd say some people talk about your grandma's closet, you know. That's another one.

What else would I say? There's some, you know, EWAC diaper. That's another one of these. EWAC diaper. But was that a wine you enjoyed? No. Okay. Like, imagine, or like Chewbacca fell in the fermenter.

You know, it smells like some animal. you know, in your glass, it's definitely like, you know, you put your nose in the glass and it, you know, it tells you not to drink it. You know, that's something called Bertanomyces, which is a spoilage yeast that this yeast, like, it's a bad type of yeast, it actually eats the fruit and turns it into this kind of byproduct of a bad fermentation that the yeast create. And that's called Brett. So B-R-E-T-T, if you ever smell a wine that smells like, yeah, Chewbacca's undercarriage, that's what happened. Ian, thank you so much, man. We really appreciate it. I'm a fan of you guys. Yes. Yeah, and we're going to be out in San Francisco for the Super Bowl, so maybe we'll link up. Well, you know, come see me, man.

We can do some lunch in the backyard. I'll open up some old wine for you guys, for real. I love it. I love that. All right. You do a yak for it. Damn. All right.

Thanks so much, Ian. Oh, we got the wave puncher. What? Yay! Dave, what's up, dude? Hey, gone, fellas. Who is this? Dude, what, so I found you.

Maybe he has no idea who this is. Yeah, Palo as no one was here yesterday. I found you on my algorithm yesterday. You're the coolest dude ever. Can you explain to us how you decided to start? Also, can you switch your phone sideways? Perfect. How's that?

You got to unlock it. Unlock it and then switch it sideways. Oh, boy. Oh, no. He's a wave puncher, dude. What are you mate? Oh There we go

All right So Dave Tell us how you started wave punching Dude I'm I fucking love Are you driving? Oh yeah No look

So like I'm actually on my way To jump on a boat I only got two hours Sleep last night I'm actually so cooked right now I've been just recovering From a sore throat

And yeah Because I've been biting waves And some of the wave venom Is getting me neck And just making me sick And yeah like My bed's just drenched In like skin piss

That's what we call sweat here in Australia. Skin piss. Sorry, that's a bit too rough. But, like, yeah, look, I'm pretty cooked right now, but I'm really happy to be here. But look, I've been wayfiting for about 30 years. And what it's all about is really just keeping the beaches safe and Australia's safe from tsunamis. Yes. And if you've heard of Caligula, he was a pretty good wave fighter back in the day.

A bit of a nasty bloke. But look, he was pretty smart. We switched on. knew what he was talking about with the waves yeah wait Dave are you driving the car right now no I'm parked up oh okay oh you're parked oh right seat belt on I'm super safe okay good because yeah because so brandon here uh he was like he he wasn't immediately enamored with you like I was and I said you forgot about tsunamis dude like you got to have a wave fighter to stop the tsunamis that's right dead set mate that's what it's all about has a wave ever beaten you up

Well, pretty much get smashed, by the way, it's pretty regularly. But, you know, it's not about winning or losing. You know, the real fights within, the real waves of depression and fear and anxiety and all that, you've got to be fighting them because that's, you know, like, as a bloke, you can take a man from the fight, but you can't take the fight from the man. Yeah. Because it's the fight within. Now, this one's eternal.

So what I'm really trying to show is that we're always been, bombarded by waves of life. And when you get out there in the ocean and you start punching them, you're really like externalizing the fight within. And, you know, when you get some real good hits and you start punching the lip of the wave and popping it open, it feels really bloody good.

You said you've been doing it for 30 years? 30 years, yeah. From my first experience, I was a little youngen. And this is actually down the northern beach because of Sydney. I was at Palmie with my mom and dad. and there was a yeah there were waves lapping up at the beach

and I picked up my little red spade and I looked at it and I'm like and I looked at the beach and I'm like I just charged the ocean and just start smacking it up and I'm like I'm protecting me family and I just felt real good and I think from then I've just been

flighting ever since I fucking love it man I love it sweet where are you going it's 6 a.m. in Australia right now yeah and where are you going right now? Oh I'm jumping on a boat to do a bit of a patrol.

You know, I'm seeing the oceans that are a bit further out. See, you know, just looking for the patterns because there's some patterns in the ocean and that's how you can sort of determine how you stop the tsunamis because there's certain waves that come in.

Like, I don't know if you've seen that movie Jurassic Park where like they get the velociraptor and they got in the cage. You got that guy Muldoon and he's all like, oh, look, you know, they're super deadly. They never check the same place twice on the fence. They're looking for systemic weakness. Waves are pretty much exactly the same

on the beachfront of Australia here. They're looking for systemic weakness and for the way to get in. And, you know, as a wave fighter, you've got to be looking for that and, you know, beating those waves down. So they can't find their way in. And that's how you get the tsunami. So just doing a bit of patrol up the coastline. I like that. You're getting to the waves before they get to you.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you a one-man army, Byron? Have you recruited others? Dave. Well, look, you know, I don't even really look. I think it's about 8,000,000 followers right now. The town's Byron?

Yeah. Your name's Dee. The town is called Byron. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Look, I've seen plenty of American folks comment and they're like, oh, yeah, Byron. I'm like, my name's Dave, man. The accent, I know what's going on there.

There it is, Day. Byron Bay. Okay, yeah. Wait, what were you saying? What was the question? My question is, you've been doing this for 30 years. Have you recruited other people to your army? Are you a one-man army?

Currently, I'm a one-man army. But look, with the page going forth, you know, I really envision it to become a real sport. And not only that, I have this vision for, I want 10,000 men. This is what I want. I want 10,000 men on the beach from the pass of Byron up to Brunswick, and we're there, and we lead a charge, and we charge in the ocean at the same time, and we declare maritime war. I love that. This is the Great Crusade Brothers, and we are declaring maritime war,

and we're just going to charge in there, punch some waves, and it's going to be probably the best moment in my life when I'm at war with the ocean, with my brothers by me side. I love it. I love it. I mean, you're the man. You pass every skin piss.

That's sweat? Skin piss? Yeah, that's it. That's it. I've been, I've been, it's been leaking from me all night. It's been lying there catatonic. Only two hours of sleep. I'm so cooked, honestly.

but it'll be all good you're you're cooked from what you had a long night or what no no I'm just sick I got I got a sore throat I'm just not doing too well what's your end goal do you want to punch a wave in every ocean yeah eventually

definitely want to hit all the beaches Australia but yeah really the end goal would be just making it a legitimate sport I'm still trying to work out a lot of the things about the point systems and a lot of the waves, you know, a lot of the waves, you know, come in different shapes and sizes and that. So you've got a lot of variability when determining points systems and, you know, but really it's about like coolness of hits.

Yeah. That's how you should really know, like, oh, you just pop that wave. Yeah, you just took the top of that one. Because it's all about hitting the, hitting the lip, so it pretty much has the lip sort of comes down. That's where you want to just start cracking into it. It's sort of upper body of your lip, bit of the shoulder. You know, you can hit the whitewash.

my last video had that but it's just not doesn't feel as good yeah it's that hit how long does it take to master oh oh yeah no he's yeah he's wave fight yeah yeah how long see I'm hitting all the whitewash there like it kind of works but it just doesn't really get it

yeah doesn't really get it for me but like you know I just having a rough day with that one because I just couldn't get get out there with with me mate with the camera to get those good good hits on but it's the way it goes the way fighting you know Yeah. Sometimes you can just get the good ones. Sometimes it just doesn't really work out for you.

Have you ever been stateside, Dave? I have actually. I visited L.A., sorry, a few years back. Stayed with a mate in Redondo Beach, thinking maybe it might come there again and go for, you know, maybe have a little small competition or something. I don't know when, but we'll see how it goes. That would be sick. Would you ever consider fighting a lake wave?

because we live in Chicago right on Lake Michigan and as far as I know, these waves have been getting away with whatever they want for the longest time. No one's been fighting back. Oh, that sounds like a problem only Dave can fix. I agree. I agree.

I would love to have you come out in the summer and we could maybe do a little competition on the wave fighting. Let's do it. I mean, I actually, I might have been to that lake whereas I think I was in, I can't remember the place. I visited Chicago two years back. So then you probably did see it.

Yeah, it's right there. It's pretty big. Yeah, I think I did see that lake. Yeah, no, actually I did. I did. But I don't remember seeing many waves at the time. It's a bit distracted with other things, but. What were the other things?

Yeah. Oh, I had to miss out at the time. Oh, nice. We sort of gone through a break up. It was pretty rough. Got to meet her parents because she was American, but oh, well. I love it Dave We're massive fans

Let us know anything we can do to help Whether it be help with the point system Help boost it If we could ever get a get you here And do a competition here We'd love to host it And keep fighting the good fight man So for people who missed it

Eddie and I sat down in our seats Maybe 20 minutes before the game And this guy is in front of us And he turns back to us And he's like hey I just want to give you a heads up I brought a sign and I'm trying to get on TV I hope I'm not going to bother you

he was probably in his like 50s so this is him so yeah flew from Hawaii had this whole grand playoff play he's like I'm going to get on TV if we win I'm going to go over to the NBC set I'm going to get all the way down on the field and get on TV and I was like

all right whatever like I'm not going to you're not going to get in a fight with the guy you're sitting in front of before the game even starts. So we were like, let's feel it out. He did put up the sign when the ball was in the air in the first quarter, like directly in our face so we couldn't see what happened. And we're like, all right, this could be a problem. Sign guy forgot about bare weather because I have never seen someone get their ass kicked by the cold more than this gentleman from Hawaii, who I felt bad for it then. He was vibrating the entire second half. He couldn't, he didn't bring the sign back out

after the after halftime because he was so cold. He went, what he's wearing right now, if you can go to Eddie's tweet, he went at halftime to the, to the NFL shop and bought an extra sweatsher because he was so fucking cold. He's not wearing a coat. He's not wearing a coat. He's wearing a khaki. He didn't make a noise the second half.

He was so cold. There's never been a human being more cold. Look, see, that was the shirt he was wearing the first half. That was what he was wearing the first half. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, and then he went and got a bear sweatsher because he was so cold. And he just, I don't think he cheered. Like, he was just devastated by the cold.

We got the coldest guy in Hawaii. Wow. And we found him. Formerly the coldest guy in Chicago. Yeah, we found him. The update photo was not what I expected him. Yeah, he jacked. He was on the, yeah.

I think he made a Twitter just to reply to us, and he has the sign. Have we talked to him or just DM'd with him? This is a random, he's very hairless. Like, his arms are so smooth. Very hairless. A good observation. Is that normal? Sorry, never mind.

He's perfect. He's perfect. What's up, man? I'm just kidding. Thanks so much for joining us. You're welcome. Thanks for having me. So how is the flight back?

Oh, good. All good, man. Everything's good. Okay, so did you listen to what I said on, pardon my taking on the yak about the game? I did, I did. Was that a fair assessment for how cold you really were? Let me take this off.

Okay. So, actually, this is working. better. Sorry about that. Actually, it wasn't a fair assessment because almost everything you said was true. Something's a little exaggerated. But as far as how cold I was, I was colder than you just thought. I said you were the coldest man in the world in that moment. You, you, you, because like when we got to our seats, you were all pumped up and it was like, all right, here we go. And obviously the Bears, you know, lost the game. But when the second half hit, did you buy a sweatshirt at halftime? So here's what happened.

So I went out to get warmed up and I don't know if you knew because of my commitment I stayed the whole first and the whole first like second half, but I needed a break during the during the half time. So I went out to warm up. Then my friend came out and he insisted I take one of his layers because he said he's so warm. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Because just in case people are thinking, man, that guy from Hawaii, he's.

He's quite dumb. What the heck? He's so underdressed. You know what? I wasn't sure I was so underdress because what was important to me and this is the Aloha shirt I'm wearing. I don't remember.

I was wearing this Allah shirt in front of you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I remember. So this Alois shirt is a medium because I'm a medium. And as I try to layer up and had the Aloha shirt as last, I couldn't put on that much clothes.

So I said, man, I'm going to freeze. But it's okay. I got to represent Hawaii and Hawaii's going to be proud of me and I just got to do it I gotta suck it up I can do it Yeah but listen you didn't get on TV But you got you know

You got on the act That's a good consolation That next best thing Yeah That was that was fantastic To give you to do that And I even appreciate it You know all the roasting

Because like I said It was mostly true Yeah no listen I It was all in good nature Because you're a passionate fan And we were getting a kick out of it It's just when the second half hit and you were you were vibrating at one point like you were shaking i was vibrating

most of the game and i think my face my face regardless of how i was emotionally happy on the inside my body just froze like like i was just frozen i couldn't even change my facial expression and i don't know if you guys knew but the few times i turned around to look at you guys you guys had this look on your face and your eyes just like this guy's crazy yeah but you but you didn't say anything but one of you guys that was like two seats to the right of you at one of my turns said hey when you're going back to Hawaii yeah almost immediately and those I said something like that and he just went good yeah his good was yeah you need to get back to somewhere warm ASAP it was it was quite an experience and yeah the uh

the second half you didn't you didn't bring the sign out because it was just so cold that picture two of you sorry it's not the most flattering picture but I do think it captured like you look like a different person. You look like a different person. I was frozen in that face. You got to realize, like you said, I was going, just the whole game. Unbelievable.

You caught it perfectly. I had no idea I was looking that much like a homeless bum from Hawaii. It was perfect. You captured a moment at the same time, I have no regrets because I had a blast. I was freezing and you're like your, like

your description, the coldest man on earth. I may have been the coastman on earth. I was still happy. And you know, the bear fans are fantastic. You guys behind me, you guys were fantastic. The guy to the right of me after that fourth quarter catch, he hugged me so hard. I thought I was going to fall down. These strangers. And then, and here's where I got to give a shout out to the people in front of us, the people who had that first row, I get their season ticket holders. They told me at the beginning of the game, we got you, because we know when the camera comes around. And every time the camera came around, they told me the camera's around. And they started, they scream.

I don't know if you noticed. They scream louder than me. Yeah. Yeah, they were trying to get you on there as well. I know, I know. Cool of them. But still, the camera guy didn't look our way. I know.

I know. He didn't look up to us. Yeah. And I'm going to exaggerate. I actually think if the camera looked my way and I got on the Jumbotron and some of the bears looked at it, I know they were motivated to win that game. But seeing me. in that state and my hope

for a playoff victory, maybe I could have given them that little extra more motivation than we could have won the game. I love it. I love it. Listen, it was, it was, it sucked, we lost, but it was a special night, like being, just when you get in those cold games, you're just like, we're all in this together

just trying to fucking survive this. We are, we are. Hey, and you guys were so cool because when I came and first thing I asked you guys if I could hold that sign and if you guys said, no, I would have just held that on my chest and belly the whole game. but I remember distinctly you saying, no, man, we understand that's cool.

And so represent your character and who you are because I got to apologize. I don't know how much I obstructed your view, but I apologize. It was only like a couple times. There was one that was the ball was in the air and you got it up. And I was just like, I don't think they're going to get the sign

with the balls in the air. But no, it was a good time. And it was good to see, like, yeah, you had all the enthusiasm flying all the way from Hawaii. So that's awesome. I did. I did. All the stars were aligned.

And before the game, when I was walking outside and inside the stadium, their fans are so great because they saw me walking around with a road poster. Like half a dozen people say, hey, what does your sign say? And then when I showed it to them, they wanted a picture. Some people even wanted a picture with me. And then at least half of the people I encounter said, if we win, it's because of you and that sign. Hell yes. But we lost, so I got to take the blame. Yeah.

Yeah, the loss is on you. All right. Well, hey. The loss is on me. We really appreciate you zooming in. if you're ever in Chicago again, come by the office and come check us out. Yeah. We'd love to, guys.

And like I said, the roasting was fantastic. And I just appreciate it because at least now, Hawaii gets the, you know, the rep that I was hoping to give it. Yeah. You get a story. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good story. And like I said, my problem is that I wanted to wear this a low-out shirt and I'm a medium. You can't put that many jackets under a medium.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, thank you so much. We appreciate you, man. Okay, so Ian, great to have you. We're excited to have you. What are we doing today? Are we tasting?

Are we testing? Yeah, we're blind tasting, four wines. Okay. I have more than that, if you guys want, but we're going to go ahead and get going. Sure. So who's the test subject today? It's Stephen. Stephen is Somali Che.

It's always, Stephen. Did you cut your hair? Yes, yes. It's maybe slightly different. I was just saying, like, I thought I knew you, but maybe not. Show him your jersey, Jay. Yeah, show him the jersey. Yeah, show it off.

We're a 69. Okay. The word 69 on the back, all about it. Yep. Just in case you miss the 69, there's also a 69. Who's a 69 player?

Who's that jersey up? On the Jags? I'm not sure the Bucks had a player. DeMarre Dotson, who is 60. The Bucs player. Oh, yeah. It's, uh, no, we're just repping.

He's a fan of the sex position. Well, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't so sure. If you had a favorite player or a favorite position, it's fine, though. Did anybody notice? yesterday's nameplate out in public?

No. I think, where did I go? I went to Trader Joe's with it, but no, nobody said anything. Okay. Steven, would you be okay if I put your Social Security on the nameplate tomorrow? No.

Just the last four. Yeah, just last four. By the way, why did you have to think about that? Last four is fine. Yeah, no, why did he have to think about it? The last four is not fine, very quick now. Every single security question is last four of your social security. Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe don't do that them.

Whatever. All right, so yeah. All right, let's get going. Let's start with a very basic question. New World or Old World. Anybody know what I'm talking about? Of course. Are you talking about NWO?

That's what was my first one thing. That's exactly right. So, you know, when you're blind tasting, the first thing you want to think about is it New World or Old World. Old World is like old classic wines, old oak, very earthy. New World is like a lot of polish, you know, almost like if you're getting into an old Corvette versus a new Bentley. You know, they have a different aroma to them.

So the old polish, like Bordeaux, that's, It's 1961. It smells like an old car. Brand new Napa smells a little bit more like polished, a lot of fruit, a lot of oak, a lot of maybe taffy and chocolate from different oak characteristics. So when you're smelling the wine,

does it smell more earthy or more fruity and oaky? Ooh, fruity. I think that smells fruity. Fruity. Are you right? Is you right? No. Oh, for one.

All right. That's okay. So let's talk about what are the aromas? I smell, I smell alcohol. Alcohol? Anybody smell a little bit like low tide or like a sushi wrapper, kind of that salty ocean character? I get that.

I smell like wet booze. This smells like the outside. There's alcohol there. It smells like the outside of a fire extinguisher. Do you know what that smells like? When you hold it. Dude, I can kind of get that a little bit. What are you all smelling?

Yeah, we got to let Stephen cook. Stephen, you go with whatever you got. Steve. Okay. It's just very airy, almost like, I don't want to say like hydrogen, but like. You don't know what hydrogen. Hydrogen. It smells like, it's like wet hydrogen.

What was that tasting? No, that's not. Um, my last one, I think, was a church pew. Didn't you say it smelled? Yes, right? I just need to say, I need to stop this for a second. Ian is so nice to be here. There are 250 of you.

I think 275. 275 master sommelier's in the, the entire world and he is sitting on this set next to a guy in a 69 69 Jaguars jersey saying that it smells like a church pew or a fire hydrant you don't need to be doing a fire signature fire signature I'm highly entertained I'll come back anytime oh man all right so what the fruit smells to me it's more like an under ripe pear like almost like a green pair you can open like almost too ripe to eat but you try anyways you know and you're always like I shouldn't eat and that it's a little bit underripe, salty,

a little bit of this oyster shell smell. No oak. It almost smells for me like you're at the beach, you know, low tide almost. Mm-hmm. Okay. So do we taste it? Yeah, it's good.

You can chew it for about five or six seconds if you want. Oh, that's pretty good. It's got like a sharp ending. So that's high, that's bright acidity, yeah. Who's doing that noise? You're supposed to do that. Dude, that's pretty good. That's pretty good.

I'm impressed. Do you want a job? I'll come. How are you? I could never. I could never look as good as you do. All right, so the pallets, the pallets dry, right? There's no sugar.

Medium body. Has this flavor almost like you just ate an oyster about a minute ago. If you don't like oysters, maybe. I'm getting some honey comb. And not necessarily honey, but like, you know if you chew? A hairbrush. He's a hairbrush comb. Honey comb without the honey.

No, no, no, no. Not necessarily honey. No, but it's the I had one of these recently and I wasn't I think it was part of a dessert and I wasn't supposed to eat it but it was like honey You had a honey cone right now Did you eat the candle of a cake?

No, but it kind of was like a candle A bit. But it's like it's waxy but it's honey But it's not it's not pure honey It's a lot of wax Okay wax and honey Okay so that all the wax and no honey Not not no honey

There's some honey in there Like all have, no cattle. Again, honey, wax and maybe a little bit of, like, green apple. Okay, 3% honey. Like, you stole it from the honeycomb, right? And then 20% honey, 60% wax. 10% green apple. And then 10% not sure yet, maybe Vaseline.

He's not sure, though. He's not sure. We're tasting a little Vaseline in here. Is it customary, Ian, to chug the entire glass as quickly as check? If you had, like, a beer bomb? on set, we could use that. You're out. I did three.

I did, I did, I, I guess. How expensive is this wine? This Vaseline wine, you've given us. Just under $50. Okay. Yeah, so it's accessible for most people. It's actually in the store right now for $40, I think. Perfect.

All right, let's try again. What's the final conclusion? You think Old World, you want a grape, guess a grape? It's one of the most famous top 10 grapes for white and red. I didn't bring anything too weird. I don't think it's Savi Young

Blanc. You're correct. Yes. All right. I haven't tried that many white wines. I liked, help me out, Kate. Giverstrominer. Okay. I liked that. I think my bag isn't as deep as on the whites. Let's say it is a re-sling. Get that on the quote card. So this is a, have you heard of Shabli? Have not? Okay. We're going to get you a book to read. Shibliin? Yeah, yeah. You know, because it's like music. If I put a song on from the Rolling Stones, you've never heard of them before,

and I played a song, you'd never know what it was, right? So we've got to get you started. I'll send you some wine. I'll get you to read, like, you know, spend a week reading about wine. Okay. And this is an area that existed underneath the shallow ocean. About 150 million years, the sea life decomposed creating limestone. They planted Chardonnay, and it tastes like this.

Love it. Why did you say recently, Stephen? It's one of the white wines that I've heard of. Yeah. It's really a 50-50 proposition. Che, when you were out here, were you doing wine tours and stuff? I did. I did a wine tour at Hope Family Wines in Paso Robles.

That was the one wine that I, aside from the Givert de Vener, I liked that, the Cabernet Savignon from there. Cool. All right, you guys want to try the second wine? Yes. All right, somebody help pour. Here, let me. Moresh is coming out. So wait, is this a sharpily or a...

It's called Shubli. Shebli. Shabbly. So in France, they don't put the name of the grape on the bottle. I don't know why. But if it's from Bordeaux, the grape is Cabernet or Merlot, pretty much. If it's from Chabilly, the grape is Chardonnay. If it's from San Cere, the grape is Sauvignon.

If it's from Burgundy, the grape is Pinoir Chardonnay. So this is Chardonnay. This is Chardonnay from Chabley. Yeah. So if you go to the store and you see Chabli, it looks like Shablist, C-H-A-B-L-I-S. It's all Chardonnay, with no oak, sandal steel or neutral oak. Really good with oysters, raw. Seafood, you know, seafood tower kind of thing.

That's a trump cocktail. The pairing thing confuses me a little bit because what I, and you might know this a bit better because you're, you're a wine at dinner guy. But pairing, I think of steak and like, I guess, burger, like red meat go with red. And then fish and chicken go with white. It depends on the sauce. Like if you have chicken with capers on it and lemon, it goes well with white. Okay. If you have chicken with barbecue sauce, you would want a red that's a little bit bigger and maybe sweeter.

like Zinfandel. If you have steak and you have it like rare and you have it with the chimer cherry sauce, you can do it with white or Malbec. There's a lot of things. It really depends on the sauce. Here's one. What if you have a red fish like a salmon? It goes really well with white.

It depends on the style or you can have a light peanut noir. So yeah, it's a red fish. I got a question for you, Ian. Like this is a chicken and egg question. Did the vest come first or did the wine come first? Because like the vest? Like were you a vest guy all the time? And then you're like, well, I might as well, I might as well become.

a Somali 8 or were you Somali 8 and be like now I got to wear a vest. You know, it was this Somali first and then it was the vest. Okay. It's actually great.

It's actually fair question. Yeah. It feels like it's just like there's something about your vest because you were wearing one the first time we had you on. I was, I was wearing a Patagonia Blue yeah,

a puffy coat. That was, it's a status symbol where it's like this guy knows more than us. But it's a Robert Redford hair too. Yeah. You got great hair. You do that. Is that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got great hair. Thanks. Can you give us a. Yeah. Look at you're just vested up, dude. Oh, you can't lie to us.

You got an inspector gadget, uh, cause of a vest. Like a demo. This is so good. Oh, yeah. Come on, man. You're rested up. I'm in a few suits. I'm in a few suits.

Can you give this, like, a mini crash course on cool ways to hold a wine glass? Yes, please. I saw you holding it at the base like this. Oh. Oh. Okay. So, let's, so what you don't want to do is this. I was hold mine like a cigarette.

Okay. If you see anybody doing that, just like, take it and give him a beer. You know what you want to do is this If you really, really know what you're talking about And you're like ready for some guy who has a big seller, big cigar collection To come ask you confusing questions You hold like that you're attracting some collectors and stuff like that Right this is kind of a slightly douchey hold I'll be honest

I like that's what we're true If you want to do it for You can do it like this and you're holding you're talking to people But it just you know it's just a hair on the douchey side Honestly I don't even realize I did it so sorry about that I thought it looked cool. Sometimes I'll do that. But yeah, hold it by the stem.

You don't really want to, like, hold it here because you're transferring the heat from your hand into the glass. So you want to hold it by the stem. That's why it's there. And one of the best glasses in the world, Gabriel Glass. So I sent you guys a dozen for the... Yes. Thank you. Because I was a little bit, like, you know, you're trying to, like, taste out of plastic.

And you're like, it tastes like a candy and a wrapper in your back pocket because you're smelling the plastic. Yeah, but Ian, he just had. had one of the best wine glasses in world. He said it tastes like Vaseline. I think Steve might have chapsed. I don't think it was the glass. Do you have chapstick on? No.

Okay. Okay. Can you smell anything other than Vaseline here? In this one, yes. This one's crazy. This one smells like a balloon. He's right. I was supposed to say it smells like a tire swing.

Listen, you guys aren't so far off. A lot of people call it like diesel. This is a very classic area in Europe, grown on slate. I'll give you a couple tips. It looks like a billion chalkboards that were crushed and put on a hillside. Super steep terraces. One of the most special vineyards

in the world. But yeah, let's go ahead and smell. What do you guys smell other than a balloon? I mean, there's some fruit here. There's some honey. This is where the honeycomb is, right? You guys will smell a little bit of honey and saffron. Mmm. I'm not good at this. It's a honey circle? Stephen, give us some

what you got. It's a balloon. and new shoe smell. Okay, nice. You guys get that in a row. I don't get the shoe smell, but I got the balloon. And it's not a different color than most wines to me.

Very yellow. It gets older, yeah. It's piss yellow. Yeah, this looks like my pee after I go to the movies. What do you don't drink water? The whole movie? Is that why that's cool? You drink soda.

Do you have a lot of popcorn? That's popcorn piss. Okay, yeah. Ooh, I like this one. I do too. I like this one more than the first one. That's a really good wine. And Ian,

oh, moan etiquette. Delicious. Yeah. What's that? Mown etiquette. Like, if you want to moan after your drink. But it's the proper, like, sound, if any. You know, just be yourself, I think, you know.

If you want to moan, you can do it. I think, you know, everyone's going to be cool. Just let it out. Hold it out. We do like that in that moan. Should we all go around and do our duchiest sip? Yeah. Ducious soup.

Yeah. Can you start? Submit the duchiest sip. This is good. It is a moanable wine. I would say that. I've never said that about any wine in the world, but... Oh.

Oh, very dushy. Would you add monable to your vocabulary of talking about wines? This is monable? I'm just going to use that today and forget about it. All right, smart. Ian, I'm with balloon. I've already used tennis ball. Like, if you see this movie, saw him.

I actually smelled tennis ball or, like, you know, fresh rubber hose. Am I right to say the first wine was, like, drier? And this one's, like, real wet. So they're sweet. There's sugar here. There's a little residual sugar. Okay. Stephen, give us your taste of this.

RG3 just walked in. Oh. Oh. What's he doing? Does he want a glass of wine? Oh. Hey, what's going on? Cheers.

Hold some wine? The Jeff Gordon jacket. Damn good. It's a hell of a jacket. It's very smooth. I think it's, I think it has a high acidity. No, Road, you sit. I got it because I'm not.

Oh. Sit down. You sit down. You sit? Sit down. Sit right here. We'll get you some wine. Yeah, headphones right there.

He has the stick mic. Got to keep the hat on. T-shirt's too big. This tastes very honey to me. Very honey, yeah, high acid. You're just saying honey every time now. No, I mean, last time was like under notes funny, but more of the wax. This one is the honey.

But it's smooth. He's actually right this time. Last time was just complete BS. Oh. Just kidding. It's so, it's almost like. It's delicious, though. It's if honey was lava, but not hot.

Cold lava. Cold lava. Yeah. But it's very smooth and the taste is pleasing. But why would honey need to become lava in this scenario? Why wouldn't honey just be honey? Honey lava. It would just be honey.

Right. Yeah, I guess so. I feel the need to explain. He's never really had wine and he's trying to learn to what is. it is and to like it. And he is like one of the biggest wine people in the world. He's the wine. So he's having We have literally the best wine

the Somalié in the world with the worst smolier in the world. So we're learning here. It's what's happening. I've ever heard anyone describe wine as cold lava. You missed a balloon earlier and Vaseline. Oh, don't forget. You grew up. The Vaseline wine was to 10% Vaseline.

Who is this guy? Did he? What is this guy? This would be like you having a quarterback skills competition with a paraplegation. So I have two more wines if we have time. We have plenty of time. I will stop distracting. I will stop distracting. I have all day, right?

So what do we think this is? It tastes Ethiopian. Does it taste Ethiopian? It tastes Ethiopian? Are there wineries in Africa? Does it taste black? What's going on here, guys? I've been to some of Morocco.

It's a little black. It's a little black. RG3 is throwing heat. Oh, God. Notes of Hennessy. Yo. Oh, God. Where am I?

Where am I right now? Oh. Oh, my God. Notes of black and Hennessy. It's hot. It's not. And a balloon. And a balloon.

All right, so based on that, black-and-seed balloon, where are we? I think it tastes wet. Okay, so let me say it's liquid. It's liquid. Well, didn't you say it smelled wet last time? Yes, they can smell wet. This tastes wet. That's one thing you've said.

I do agree with it. The tannin level is low. Yes. And the acidity level is. high. This is correct. Acidic, high, sugar. So there's sugar and high acid. Based on that, it could be two things. Reisling or Shenan Blanc?

I've never heard of Shennan Blanc. I'm going to stick with Reesling. Dude. Yes. If somebody could, my backpacks around the corner, if somebody could grab a bottle out of there, it's a 1989. Holy cow. Didn't you just have a birthday? Are you

1988? Yes. I turned 40 yesterday. Yes. I tried to bring something close to your Wow, thank you. Eighty-nine. But this is a great deal. I imported this from Germany. Never saw the light a day for, what is that, 40 years, and then just arrived in America. $60 retail, smoking wine.

Great with Thai food. This is my favorite I've ever had. Yes. Sounds great. This is a very great. Cool. Yeah, why do you take it so many people's favorite? Is it different than other reasonings people would have tasted?

It has a little sugar and it has 40 years of age, right? And what is the name? So this is a very important. So this is a Velen or Sonor Norse, so the village is Vellon. The Sonor noor means the sundial of Vellon. It's this big, steep vineyard outside of the town of Vellon, and it's Alslays. So it means it was harvested a little bit late, has a little residual sugar. And if you taste it when it was young, it would taste very sweet, like a lemonade with way too much sugar in it.

Every 10 years, the wine absorbs the sugar somehow. I don't understand the chemistry. And it ends up tasting, you know, kind of partially dry, like a perfectly sweet glass of lemonade now. Yeah. Oh, wow. So Alslazliz, it could be paired with dessert. after 40 years, it's kind of better with Thai food. So, Riesling and Thai food, if you are going to learn from one thing,

I would say have Riesling with Thai food, a place called Lotus of Siam, if you ever get to Vegas. One of the greatest experiences you ever have. Cool. All right, guys. I got to bounce. I appreciate the line in, you actually need in Ethiopia, taste of black.

I want to say. I would say wine is like... That's a hell of a cameo. That's incredible. He said a word. TJ was just texting me. He was just like, yeah, RG3 is supposed to do Micropod. We're trying to get him.

So who was he? Robert Griffin the 3rd. Robert Griffin the 3rd. He was the trophy winner. Okay, well. An honor, wow. Amazing. I wasn't so sure.

He had great tasting nuts, though. Was he Ricky the year in 2012? I think so, yeah. It's number two overall pick in 2012. Working the year. Quarterback, good player. Should we try the third one? Thanks, Stephen.

Thanks, Stephen. You said that like you were a tasting head. You're just like, you're just like, in 2012, getting some Waco notes. Definitely a dual threat. Thank you.

Wait, can we have Che walk us through a full thing like Ian did with this one? The final test. All right. Sight is very purply. It's got some, it's got some, it's got some, it's a triangle shape

it is lighter on the outside which makes sense triangle shape what's trying what is that it's no longer a triangle when you like it looks yeah I guess that's just the amount

that I have in my class but it just kind of that's what it looks like to me and liquid fills the container that it's in yeah that's fair all right triangle might have been a little off base

it looks like it's got some high alcohol content Are you about to hit your breaking point over there? No, I just think that it looks a triangle. It looks like a triangle. Yeah, that's pretty hilarious. No, he's right.

How is he right? No, no, because it does have a triangle shape in the glass. I just would never think of saying that. Not like a pizza, you know, of course. The smell is quite strong. It's... Is he smelling it right? I was told you're supposed to open your mouth.

Is that true? You can smell a little slower. Okay. Slower. Is smelling? Not like a hose that was turned on in full. Maybe you just turn the hose on a little bit. Like,

reverse it. Why is your mouth doing that? I was told you're supposed to open your mouth when you smell. Is that wrong? You can gently, yeah, but maybe a little less aggressive. Yeah. Engage a little bit. Stop snoring into the line.

So what's it smell like? It smells like varnish to me. Is that wrong? I don't know. I think we need to get your nose checked out. Okay. Is there a doctor? The taste is interesting.

Everything smells like a balloon and varnished and like his back socket. It's some sort of wood treatment. It tastes like a brown leather belt. Not black. Dude, I'm not sure for it. There's a big difference, I think. We have a totally different sense of taste. Yes.

Get RG3 back. And some Clementine. No Okay No And Belt in a

Clementine And a triangle Jay I'm genuinely impressed That you're able to access This many ideas Of what smells are Such varied ideas Of like oh this

So I put out of this morning I did a tour Of a winery In Paso Robles And there was a wine there And it had the most Distinct smell I've ever smelled

In my life It was my Elementary School hallway And it was a specific spot in the hallway. I can smell my elementary school hallway too. Yeah. I think everybody can. Unique smell. Or the garage you grew up in, right? The stairway of your elementary school. Not that I grew up in a garage. Like your home house, right? You just smell to like your memories in childhood. And I think that's, when you're tasting wine in general, you're, you're smelling

and you're describing memories that kind of reflect these aromas and these, these things that actually aren't that. It's not cherry. It's not black bear. It's not oak. It is, it is technically oak. But these memories are kind of their ways to communicate about the wine. So when you're smelling certain things, it's just your memory. It doesn't mean you're wrong or you're right. And it's just communicating about wine. Okay, I love it. So what are we dealing with here?

What is this type of wine? Let's give me a little more. Okay. All right. Am I guessing? Yeah, let's do it? Go ahead, Brandon. Don't be shy.

So, so new or old world, let's all, as a group. Let's hear, because Brandon, I feel like Brandon thinks he's better than everyone. Yeah, he does.

I would like Brandon to do. At no point do I think I'm better than everyone. I enjoy wine with dinner. I've had too much wine. Brandon thinks he's better than everybody. What's your go-to? What are you drinking? I always get just a cab.

Okay, great. That's all I always get because that's what all my wife likes. Napakab. I don't even try. I just say whatever you suggest. What have you learned today, Brandon, about wine? I have learned that we need to do these shows once a week. That's what I hope.

learned. Every single... Every single wine you've brought me, I have enjoyed. Every time Ian's like explaining each glass of wine and he's like, so what you're going to find here when you taste it? I look over, Brin's gone. He's like, so all of you haven't tasted it yet, but when you taste it, you might notice this and Brandon's just...

You guys are treating this as a learning exercise. I just think this guy's bringing us incredible wines and they're delicious and thank you. I'll send you guys some more. Anytime you want me on, I can zoom in from... You can come in every goddamn day if you want. It's fine. I enjoy the wine. Okay.

All right. So new or old world? Where are we at? Old. Is this, does this have oak? More fancy, more new car, or is this old Corvette, you know? I feel like it has oak. Yeah.

What does that mean? So likely more new world. But there's new oak and old world wines too. So it's more like does it smell more fruity and oaky or does smell more earthy and like, you know, you're smelling the dirt. I'm afraid to be wrong. I kind of smell dirt now that you say that. But still, you can still. smell earth on new world wines right so let's

can we all guess can we all do new world or old world let's do it and whoever's wrong has to chug another bottle of wine and then it's all brandy have more wine I have more I didn't want to like drink how much does you bring I have 17 bottles no I have two more raise your hand of its new world I think

I'm going old world I'm with Kate Kate Nick and Jay so I'll go old world I'll go old I'm a grown I'm a grown I think old police. The cool guys, I guess, are wrong going.

Did you go? I said new. I said new. So this is a new world. Oh, great. Get that shit out of here. Second guess for life. So tell us again, now that we've tasted it, how exactly do we know that it's new world?

Well, you smell at this. There's like a lot of polish. It just smells very, I would say, familiar. It's like this new leather kind of new wood smell. Some ripe fruit. What color leather I see the triangle What color leather

I'm getting the classic You know coniac brown Yeah And a new BMW like X7 in particular Okay okay That's getting close to Hennessy This is your team It's a Hennessy

I was wondering with the big arch today There's a guy in Wisconsin Who's had over 35,000 Big Macs Yeah he's on super size right What do you do Do you keep with the big Macs? Big Macs or do you try the bigger, better one? Oh, if you're him?

I think you stay with the Big Macs because of the sauce, right? It's the taste you like. Same sauce, is it? It's, yeah, he's been doing this every day for how many years? I think you got to stay with the Big Mac. Don't they call him Big Mac? But isn't the thing about the Big Mac is if you take a picture of Big Mac today and one from 20 years ago, it was way bigger back then? Was it?

Yeah, I think that's one of the things. That's almost across the board in fast food, that everything is smaller than it used to be. Do you think this guy's in like a? Like a moral dilemma? That's what I'm wondering. No, it's like if a new brand of cigarette comes out, you already have your brand. If he's had 35,000 Big Macs, he's gone through a bunch of different launches. He's ignored the McRibb.

He's gone through the McRibb. It's more about the Arch Deluxe. He's gone through all of it. TJ, are we waiting for Don Gorski to try to call in? Yes. I bought his book. Oh, hell, yeah. It's over there.

I gave it to Joey. You don't have it. It's a, yeah, it's a. Oh, it's big. It's a big log. It's not really a story. It's just, it's almost like one sentence of every day. John.

Oh, he's on. Oh, he's on. Don, are you here? Yes, I'm here. Hey, John. Gorski. Don, thank you so much for joining us. We were, so this all started earlier this week when the big arch came out and our question was,

does the guy who eats all the Big Macs, which we then figured out was you, Don Gorski, go by his book. Would he be eating a big arch? And so we got to lead with that question. Will you be trying the Big Arch? Yeah, I probably will. I saw my son last night, and I picked him up for bowling, and he was saying, Dad, I tried that Big Arch.

I'm going to have to get you one on Sunday. You're going to have to try it. And I said, I suppose I probably will. So it'll probably be the only one I ever eat. But my SA, you know, offer to buy one, I'll probably have one with them. Okay. What if you like it more? What happens then?

No, that won't happen. I'm really hooked on my Big Mac, and that's what I like. Yep. So how many days in a row have you eaten a Big Mac? Well, the last day that I missed was November 23rd, 2000. So I've gone, you know, over 25 years now without missing. But since May 17, 1972, I've only missed eight days out of all those. So in your book, you had September 11th, 01 written down, and it didn't say you had one on that day.

Is that true? Or did you have one on September 11th? Yes, I did. Oh, okay. That had to have been the worst one, right? Yeah. I don't really grade which ones are the best and which ones that are worse always. But like I say, I just eat at Big Macriety.

I just enjoy them a lot. Once in a while, I do get a bad one. You seem to have... What date it happens and it doesn't matter. You seem to have them in pretty cool locations. Like I saw you had them in Alcatraz, a lot of baseball fields. What would you say is the best location you had? Big Mac?

Oh, I guess I really never thought about that. I mean, I enjoy having them just at home here even. Okay. Yeah. This is where I eat most of them, and we got kind of a nice view on our back patio and stuff. So I enjoy eating them at home, but I also enjoy eating them everywhere else, too, that I can. What was the most unique Big Mac you've ever had, whether there was something in it that shouldn't have been, or it just tasted different than the others?

Well, like even in my book, I think I mentioned, I think it's probably on the back cover somewhere. I had a Big Mac in Kearney, Nebraska. I think it was in 2000. And we were going through there and we had Big Mac for lunch. And I told my son, I said, boy, I think this is the best Big Mac ever had because I don't know what was different about it. But maybe the meat was really fresh or something. I think they were saying that McDonald's had never froze their meat. it all so I think that probably made a big difference.

At your local McDonald's, do you even have to order anymore or do you just walk in and they got you ready? Yeah, yeah, like when I walk in, somebody will yell, uh, Don's here and then they start making Big Macs. I only go there twice a week. Yeah, I go only go there twice a week.

I go there on Mondays and I buy six and then I go there on Thursday and buy eight. And that gives me my 14 for the week. Wait, you're eating where are you, what are you doing with the Big Macs after? Are you keeping in the fridge? He's free probably. Yeah, I keep them in a fridge or the freezer.

I've gotten so used to eating microwave Big Macs my whole life that I guess they call it in a custom taste or something. But I really like eating microwave Big Macs. Wow. I eat two fresh ones each week and then the other 12 are all microwaved when I'm hungry. Wow. Like I say, you're doing this for the love of the game. I don't eat. Damn.

Any of I just don't eat them until I'm hungry. Let's put it that way. Okay. On special occasions, do you go out to nice dinners or is it, say, no, it's all Big Mac? Well, no, I'll go out to eat once in a while and stuff, and, yeah, I'll have something, but if you notice if I go out to eat with you, I'll probably have a real small portion of something or whatever because I still eat my Big Macs every day. Yeah.

Yeah. The way I am and stuff. Yeah. I read that when the Big Mac switched to shredded lettuce, you were pretty upset over that. Is there any other changes that you didn't like? No, the shredded lettuce was the big one because I told my son right away, I said, you know, that's probably going to meet the patties that are going to get smaller

and stuff because they used to just put like a leaf of lettuce on there, you know, and that was pretty flat. I knew once you put shredded lettuce on there, that's going to make a higher sandwich. And then I just figured the patties would get smaller. and, you know, the values they get smaller through the years, and that's just part of the, you know, the American culture, you know, for things get smaller. What happened on November 23, 2000?

All right. That was Thanksgiving Day, and I was always in the habit of keeping my, you know, big Macs in the freezer and stuff for holidays and stuff like that. And my wife had me doing this thing where I was supposed to rotate them every so often because she hated that if I left them in the freezer for months at a time. And so I had eaten the ones that were in the freezer, and I forgot to restock them before Thanksgiving Day. And so I was kind of shocked when, you know, got home from work,

and I opened her freezer and there's no Macs in there. And so I knew all McDonald's were closed. And so, as I say, there was no way to get a Big Mac, but I know the manager of my McDonald's, she would have opened up and made me a Big Mac if I would have called her, but it was my mistake. and I don't make anybody do anything, you know, for something I made a mistake. Yeah, man.

Less of respect. It was just one of those things that happened. But, like, were you feeling, like, withdrawal, like, a day without it after so long? Like, did it feel, it had to have felt very strange. Well, yeah, my family is really used to me, you know, like, we ended up going to my sister's place for Thanksgiving, and my wife's very patient with me because she knows I get really hyper when something like that happens. And so even though I knew every McDonald's between our place and my sister's place, we up and on-roll, we stopped at every McDonald's and just to check to make sure every door was locked, you know.

So it's just one of those things like when you're a person like me and you're kind of hyper and stuff, you've got to be, you know, you have a sense of saying, hey, I tried my best. Yeah. Yeah. What about? Then the next. Oh, go ahead. I just going to say by the next day, then I'm over it, you know.

but like I say, for the day that it happens, it really does perk at me, you could say. Yeah. What about sides, Don? Do you ever get fries? Do you ever get nuggets? Do you ever do you ever? No, I very seldom get anything else. I might have fries once a month, but I would say even that's kind of gone by the way.

So I think it's been a couple months now since I had fries. I ate more of the nuggets and stuff when my kids were little, like they'd have happy meals all the time and stuff. So if they didn't finish their nuggets or they didn't finish their burgers, I'd always finish them up. But after they grew up, then I really never had nuggets or anything else ever again. Do you feel an extra connection to McDonald's because your name is Donald? Do you think there's an extra draw there? That's a good point out. Well, I don't know.

Every once in a lot of people point that out and say, hey, your name's in the McDonald's thing. And it's like, well, I never really think about that, you know. Yeah. For me, to become the way that I am, there's a lot of factors that, you know, filed into it. Yeah. Have you ever tried a whopper? Oh, no. Yeah, I had one whopper in my life.

It's in the book. Some guy offered me $5 to eat a whopper in 1984. So, in 1984, it was in January. I remember that. I think it was January 4th, the 84, and he said I gave you five bucks to eat a whopper, and so I ate a whopper, and he gave you five bucks, and I used that money to buy Big Mac. There we go. Oh, man.

Incredible. You are correct. It was 1984. I'm looking at it in the globe. 1980. It was a strange year. It happened in a bowling alley. Don, what are you averaging bowling?

I'm down a little bit this year. last year I was closer to 200 but this year I'm right around 193 in almost all my leagues that's good but like I say they're oiling the lanes a little bit different and so I'm having a little bit trouble getting used to conditions again

have you rolled a 300 nope I just have my highest game ever maybe about a month ago I had 289 it just seems something always you know breaks up a possible 300 I mean I've had a lot of

games with 11 strikes, but there's always that one 10 pin or some other goofy pin that cost me the big one, you know? What frame was the 289? Which one did you falter? Let's see. It was a ninth frame, I think. It wasn't when I got a nine spare and then I struck out in the 10th. I think that's how it goes.

Oh, man. How many? Hold on us. Okay. Yeah. I think, oh, wait, now this game, I think that was 10 strikes and roll. And then I got a nine there for my 11th. Yeah, so it was the first 10.

Damn. I think it was a four pin. You just can't have it all. Yeah, you said leagues. How many leagues are you in? Okay, like, I'm retired, so there's a lot of senior leagues in final league. So I bowl in four leagues. Love that.

And I always like bowling. Like, for me, people say, you know, like, I always throw like I'm trying to kill somebody. But for me, it was a good, I worked a lot of years at the prison, and I used to make believe the tens are inmates. And so I had helped my bowling a little bit. Oh, man. So you're up in Wisconsin. Have you ever been down to Chicago to Hamburger U?

Oh, okay. Like, was that at Oakbrook? No. Middle of the city? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think the new corporation, aren't they where the old Oprah rinse free show used to be?

Maybe. Believe so, yeah. Yeah. Anyhow, when I had my 15,000 Big Mac was in Chicago for the Jonathan Brandmeyer radio show, and then I ate 15,000 on a show, and then I drove to Oak Brook, and then I had Big Mac 15,001 at the corporate offices there. They had a McDonald's inside your buildings, and so that's the only time I've really been in McDonald's of anything down there.

Okay. When's your next milestone? How close are you to the next one? Oh, that's a long ways away. I mean, you know, I just passed 35,000 last year, so now 40,000. You're looking at 2032 if I don't die before then, you know, so. When you hit the milestones, do you eat them in the McDonald's, or do you, are you like, it doesn't matter how it should eat at home?

No, like, okay, for like the ones that, like, when I hit 10,000 or 15,000, all those, I know that I generally have those in some public place. Okay, like my McDonald's, like they've had celebrations for that inside of McDonald's for me for 20,000, 25,000, 30 and 35,000. So they prefer that I celebrate at the McDonald's I go to because they just want to kind of let them let me know that they appreciate me as a customer and stuff like that. So I say like last March, March 15th, I hit 35,000. we had a celebration type thing at the military McDonald's that I go to all the time. And I was able to get, I bought free Big Macs for everybody and stuff like that. And so it was a good time.

That's awesome. Don, I have a question. How are you keeping track of this? Is this a computer program? Are you doing this by hand? No, it's all by hand. I don't have no computer. I don't have no cell phone.

So no data. There's no app. No data. And then one more question. When you had your first Big Mac, did you just know this was the rest of your life? Good question. At the moment, I felt like it was, you know? Wow.

I actually ate three the first time I sat down. Wow. I'm sitting there like, man, this is the best sandwich in the world. And, you know, I had told my dad when I was 10 years old that someday I'd probably eat at McDonald's every day, but he didn't really think that would happen. And he kind of laughed at me later on in life when I was still eating at McDonald's. But, yeah, it was like this was the best sandwich ever made. and I knew I was never going to learn how to cook,

and then, you know, I married a gal that I really didn't cook, and so everything kind of fell in the place, and I can eat my favorite food every day. Incredible. I'm staying in pretty good shape, too. Don, I got a non-McDonnell's question. So you're calling in from a landline right now. I assume you don't have a smartphone.

Do you have a computer? Do you go on the Internet ever? No, I need my wife to help to go on the Internet. God bless. That's awesome. that's incredible. That's why he's so healthy. Yeah.

Well, you know, the thing is, okay, another thing that's factored into that, like when I was a prison guard for 25 years, we couldn't have a cell phone, we couldn't have a computer, nothing at the prison. And with us guys working double shifts all the time, and then we go home sleep, go back to work, what the heck would I need a cell phone or a computer for because we're just working all the time and all the time.

And so by the time we retired in 2011, it's like, why do I even want to bother anymore? So that's what kind of happened. Love that. You have a better, yeah, you're better set for this world than the rest of us, that's for sure. Yeah. Don, were the prisoners aware? Were they like, hey, our guy today is the Big Mac guy?

Oh, yeah. A little silver lining. Yeah. I mean, I wish I got a buck for every time they told me where to stick my Big Mac, you know, because, you know, there were a lot of. of abusive words about and stuff like that, but like when I used to get on TV shows and stuff like that, they said the cell halls would be rocking, you know, so they all knew who I was. And, you know, like I said, there was kind of a respect for what I was and that I always respected

them, even though, you know, like I say, some of them are pretty cruddy guys, you know. Is your son still a prison guard? No, actually, both my sons were prison guards at one time, but now one of them now works for a company that makes like, you know, Harley-Davidson signs and stuff like that. And then my other son, he switched state jobs and, you know, he's an auditor for the state of Wisconsin. Wow. When you were... They're both doing better, you know, having better jobs than having to deal with inmates all the time.

When you met your now wife, did you have to explain to her you have a Big Mac every single day? And was she about it? Was she excited as well? Well, okay, like, well, that's what's kind of funny. Okay, I met my wife. I was in September 22nd, 1973. And I met her, and I told her, I'm one of these guys that I'll write you a letter every day and stuff like that. And, you know, so that's what I did.

And I remember I was going to write you my first letter, and my mom says, don't tell her about the Big Mac thing, you know. Well, I couldn't help it. I told her about the Big Mac thing in the first letter, you know. And she was always fine with it, you know. And actually, I was actually working 40 miles away from where she lived. And we were barely dating, and she was already driving. all the way to Hartford 40 miles one way, and she dropped me off fresh Big Macs and stuff.

Wow. She knew what was important to me, and, you know, everything worked out. I say once we got married, we just kind of made an agreement that she would let me eat Big Mac every day, and as long as I never blamed her for not cooking. I love that. Are you still saving every Big Mac carton? Yeah, I still do. I say the house is kind of running out of room, but.

When film crews and stuff come to our house, that's what they like to see. They like to see the proof and stuff like I had for Guinness. And like I say, the best place to see in my basement, I used to have a room with a pool table in it, and now it's just Big Mac cartons. And what just like people like to see is when I uncover the boxes, and then they can just see hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of Big Macs from the Big Mac that I ate over the years.

And it's kind of impressive. That's a great thing, you know? Does your house smell like that of a McDonald's? No, it really doesn't. My wife is really pleased with the way I keep everything organized and stuff. So, you know, the house is just loaded with McDonald's stuff, but I keep it all organized, and I say she's fine with it. Don, is there any competition whatsoever?

Have you ever talked to the guy who's eating the second most Big Macs on Earth? No, I never talked to the guy, but Guinness rolled records, I think it was back this was a long time. I think it was in 1995. They told me there was a guy, I think, in Houston that was up to fourth. Oh, it was up to 5,000. Whoa. And he couldn't take it anymore.

Oh, no for it. Loser. Stam in the game. Everyone wants to be done. No one can do it. Was there anyone else in the specific food item? Go ahead. Oh, there was nobody else that all I say,

Guinness was really good about letting me know how many record is and if anybody else is interested or whatever. And I tell people, don't try to break it because you aren't going to break it. And like I say, a person like me can eat like that and still be healthy, but not everybody else can do that. Yeah. Have you ever had one wet while wet, like you were sopping wet and then ate one? What you mean?

What I myself was soaking wet? Yeah. No, I won't, you know, I got to be a totally dry person before I eat a big man. Yeah. Yeah. You list the site where JFK was shot as a Why Did It Happens site in your book? Do you have any theories on what you think happened there? Well, I think I just believe that there's that one gun man.

I think, you know, some guy, one guy could just do that, no problem. Yeah. I mean, like for us guys, you know, like as prison guards, we had to do training for a rifle and stuff like that. And, you know, you wouldn't believe how good a shot some of us guys are. You know, I mean, you know, they put them targets way down. on the field and you know you're okay you know they would like you put one you know put one dead center or you know maybe where you know where the hard is or something and boy a lot of them guys they can nail it you know so i say there's a lot of sharpshooters out there last one from me don

you have bowling yuker big max do you have any other hobbies or anything else you're like super passionate about oh cribbage i do like a oh yeah i play cribbage uh about four times the week. There is a, like I say, I do a lot of stuff for older people. I mean, I know I'm old, too, but I do a lot of stuff for older people like, I'll take them to the grocery store or get them newspapers, and then there's one lady I play cribbage with because her partner died, you know, and she really is pretty lonely, so she just asked if I'd just play cribbage, so I do that. So yeah, there's stuff like that I do, and then one of the things I spend a lot of hours on is I write a lot of letters. I'm probably could be called a chronic letter writer. I still write to my wife

every day, even though she doesn't read them anymore, but still write them and stuff. But I just love, you know, writing letters and stuff. And then I do a lot of walking and stuff like that. I love the walk. I'm like here. We live out in the country here, and so I tell the wife, I'm going to go around the block, and I'll hear a block is six miles, so I'll do a six mile walk and stuff when the weather is good stuff. Oh, wow. Yeah, we both keep very busy for a couple. Wow.

That's great. Well, Don, you're the best. And if you do end up ever coming back down to Chicago, we'd love to have you by the office. And this was awesome. We really appreciate it. Well, thanks for having me on your show. I know I'm kind of a weird guy, but...

Nope. You're the best. Yeah, you're the best. It's a fucking best. You're the best of the best. Got it figured out. Yeah. Oh, thank you.

Okay. All right. Well, Don, let's stay in touch. If you ever come down here, we'd love to see you. Okay. Well, if you want me to come down here sometime, you ought to send me a address or something because I say, I don't have you on the internet or, you know, anything like that. So when people want to get a hold of me, they write me letters. Okay. Maybe we'll do a Cubs-Brews game at Wrigley. Okay. Well, like I say, I've had a big Mac at every baseball stadium, football stadium, and NASCAR. tracks, so I still enjoy doing that. Okay, all right. We'll do it. We'll set it up.

All right. Well, thank you so much, Don. We appreciate it. All right. Well, thanks for having me on your show. Bye, Don. See ya. I have never been more jealous of a man.

He's the best. He figured out his life and just did his life. I clutched my heart. The best of the best. He still writes for a letter every day. He's quite literally the best of the best. I've just been tipped off that there's a barstool sports employee that outspokenly hates this guy.

What? I bring him I'm guessing White Sox Dave And I want to fight this person To the death Are they this office, DJ? Not in this office But I have a podcast clip from this office

Talking about Don Gorski Very negatively Oh no for us, Kyle Do you like to watch it? Is it a us? Wait, can we Is this going to be a good look for us or a bad look for us? I think it's going to be a bad look for the person

Maybe is the person in this room? No Oh, play it Play it, play it The person here Oh no I want to bring this guy up because Jeff Dillon's fast food more than you.

The goat, Don Gorski. Don Gorski. And this shit. Oh, oh. What, you think he's, you think he's, I've hated this John Lennon looking ass. What? What a shit he's a 70-year-old Wisconsin man.

Oh my God. He's the Guinness World Record holder for the most Big Macs eaten in a lifetime. He's eaten almost 35,000 Big Macs, Jeff. How can you hate this guy? Weasel, he's full of shit to do the first off. Oh, this is the... He's an asshole. Oh, what?

He's a piece of shit and asshole. Why is he in this? Christmas, I got to make sure there's Big Macs getting made, like, in the house. He puts him in his freezer. He goes and he buys his exes and puts him in his freezer and he can get out of the house. He's, like, disrupting his family's meals. No, he's not. They're supportive.

And he gets... No, they're not. They're not. No, I don't. I'm disgusted. You have to get, we have to talk to Jeff is. Right. Get Jeff on.

Give me Jeff. Give me Jeff. Jeff. Oh, my God. What's up? Jeff, what do you have to say for yourself? I just heard a name drop. Someone said Don Gorski.

If you hate him, I hate you. No, no, no. No. Jeff, state your case. I mean, he's a huge enemy of mine. I don't like him. I think he's a liar. How? Why is he a liar?

Document all the boxes, Jeff. How is he a liar? He's a huge enemy. I'm guessing, like he, I mean, I think he probably throws a bird in the trash now and then and keeps the box. That's not out of the realm. No way. He also took part in that documentary, supersized me, which ruined the supersized fry. So he's a terrorist in that sense.

Terrible. Yeah, not a fan, never been a fan. You called him a piece of shit. Well, we just... Yeah, he's a piece of shit. We just had him on, and he's the nicest guy ever. We just had him on. He is quite literally the best of the best that we have.

Everything you said in that clip we just watched was wrong. He does not disrupt anything in his family. He said that his wife doesn't like to cook. All he does is puts his Big Macs in his freezer and then puts him in the microwave. Volunteers time to spend with old people. Yeah, he plays cribbage with a widow. Yes. Right.

His wife of love letter every day. Don't back down, Jeff. So yeah, you're a piece of shit. For a second, he has not up to, he has not disrupted a meal at any point in his existence. He's definitely done that. Okay, well, he doesn't bother anyone, really. Does it bother you that he frees? Like, oh, that's what you're eating today.

I got a big mac in my pocket. What about his book, Jeff? Yeah, I'm not about that. He documented every burger he's eating. No, he doesn't have a big mac in his pocket. He goes on Mondays and buys eight And he goes on what, Thursdays and buys four? Monday is six, Thursday's eight

Okay Yeah, and then he puts him in his heats One that day, fresh, and then he puts him in his freezer And when he gets home from work, he eats his Big Mac Microwaves. Microwaves it. He likes the taste. Yeah, I stay and buy it, I don't like him.

There's a little bit of shame inside of me right now. I'll always make that. Well, you've got to go back and watch the interview and maybe it'll change your mind or maybe it won't. I hope it doesn't. I hope it doesn't. Jesus, what a get-tho. You got Gorski.

He respects his adversary. If you really want to show him up, you should have a Big Mac wet. That is one thing he's never done it wet. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I have to stick in my ground, unfortunately. I don't like him.

That's it So good This all started because of supersized me Jeff Is that how he got in your radar? Yeah I'm a big fan of supersized me Which I think the guy who made that is dead now He died during COVID yeah

He's a huge Nick Teraney fan The guy who made that movie Spurlock and I have and followed you early on Yeah The only guy to ever by the way The only guy ever cancel himself During the Me Too movement That was crazy

He's like just a heads up Yeah that was kind of wild Yeah it was supersized getting like that I didn't believe him This goes back to when we had When Trill Ballins was doing lights camera bar still with us, and we talked about Gorski for like an hour, I think. Trill hates him too? Trill can't hate him.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think Trill liked him. I don't think Trill liked Gorski. Oh, no. Are you a Dale Lamarrow guy, Jeff? Dale, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, who is the, Dale Lamarrow is the, is that the Domino's pizza box guy?

Yeah, he folds the boxes fast. Folds the box. No, that guy's a legend. That guy's a legend in the game. But this is just, this is just. This is just the cynicism in you. This is proving that the way Don Gorski lives life is correct. You're the cynic.

You're the opposite, Don Gorski. You spend all day online watching everything. He doesn't even have the internet. And you love new products. Yeah. That's why they're enemies. Limited time offerings. I love LTOs.

They're great. I tried the big arch, the new. I'm sure Don hates the big. No, he has to know. See, this is where you're so wrong. He's going to try the big arch on Sunday. He probably won't like it, but he's going to try it. Oh, wait, I thought he only eats Big Macs.

He does. He does. What a rival. Oh, Jeff, you're being a cunt. His son is getting him a big arch. He's going to eat his Big Mac, too. You know, again, you got me the old people cribbage thing. That got me a little bit.

I'm a little, I do feel off my rocker a bit now, but it's okay. I'm going to, I'm going to hold firm. I have a guess on Zambly. Oh, you've got a guy. on Zoom? Yeah, we have a Bigfoot expert. Oh, let's go. Wait, an expert or someone who saw it? Expert. Longtime field

researcher since the 90s. He was on Animal Planet's finding Bigfoot. He needs to do it now because he's going to a Bigfoot Museum in one hour. Yes. Of course. Yes, please. Cliff. Cliff. Hey, Cliff. Hey. How you doing today? Cliff, thank you for joining us. I know you got a busy schedule. What's going on

with the... This guy. This guy's awesome. This is our guy. I know. It's great. I like the shirt, too. I love the name. Oh, yeah, I'm a huge fan of burritos, and I wear it proudly. I love that. Cliff, what's going on in eastern Ohio right now? Oh, well, yeah, I think it's a lot of hubbub, honestly. I mean, I think there's probably some kernel of truth in there.

Like, somebody probably saw a Sasquatch. I live in Oregon, so Ohio is honestly a little out of my jurisdiction, you know. But from what I understand from trusted researchers that I know in Ohio, there's probably a couple sightings. Apparently one of the witnesses was pretty young, so his story, I was told at least, his story isn't exactly congruent with what he said earlier. But, you know, he's 15, so, and he's a human.

People are kind of inaccurate sometimes about what they say. But from there on in, I think it's just a lot of, like, maybe social media or influencer hype is what I've seen. I haven't seen any real strong evidence out of there, but I've heard a lot of hubbub. So I don't know. We'll see. Now, Cliff, what you just said is interesting.

you just casually said, yeah, they might have seen a Sasquatch as if that's, that's real? That seems like big news. Well, no, no, not at all. Sasquatches are seen fairly often, actually. In fact, I did a siting report where I live. A young gentleman saw one just up in Welch's Oregon on March 1st. I was out there on the second. I found a footprint, I found a track way, in fact.

No, no, Sasquatches are seen more often than you would expect, you know. And mind you, this is my world. I own a Bigfoot Museum called the North American Bigfoot Center in Oregon. So that's kind of a big antenna that draws people in. And we hear a lot of reports sometimes very, very recently after they happened. But I don't think I'm exaggerating at all that I would say in the last 30 years I've heard, I've spoken personally to several thousand witnesses. I don't think that's an exaggeration in the slightest.

Now, what about you, though? Have you seen him? Yeah, yeah. Him? No, I've seen one, I've seen one, maybe two. I'm not sure. Neither one of my sightings was very good, and maybe I was mistaken, but there's been two times that I think I'd probably put my eyes on a Sasquatch. But again, like I said, they weren't great sightings.

One was from a great distance. The other one was through a night vision technology, but I'm still looking for a clear daytime up close and personal, you know. Is Ohio out of their range? Is that odd to be that far? No, no. Not at all. No, no. Not at all.

Not at all. A lot of people who are unfamiliar with the subjects think that Sasquatch are, only resident in the Pacific Northwest. And that's kind of because all of the early researchers lived in the Pacific Northwest. And it's kind of, you know, that idea where the victors of the war get to write the history? It's kind of a case like that. But it turns out, Sasquatches, just like pretty much every other large mammal in North America, have a continent-wide distribution in suitable habitat.

Sasquatches are much more rare than Black Bear, for example. But Black Bear and Sasquatches seem to inhabit the same kinds of habitat, therefore probably the same ecological niche. Do we need to have any fear of Sasquatches? Oh, I don't think so. I mean, you should give them the white birth. They are large, wild animals, whatever they are, no matter how human-like they may end up being once they're recognized as a species.

But, you know, if they were out to get us, I would argue there would be very few of us left, you know, so I think we're okay. What about, like, if you see a Sasquatch, what are some of the things like if you have maybe a tiny little air horn or like a seven iron? Are those things that you could maybe defend yourself with? I don't know. Pull a camera out. They seem to be very camera shy.

They wouldn't like that, I guess. Okay. So has the ring cam changed the game at all? Are you getting more photo evidence ever since I came around? Not because the ring cam specifically, although I do have a piece of footage from a, from security camera up in Washington on the gentleman's property. And he was lucky enough to see the animal just moments before it walked in front of on that side of the house, you know?

So, yeah. But technology in general has increased. the number of photographs and videos that have come in over the years, you know, everybody has a phone in their pocket and stuff. But even that gentleman that saw the Sasquatch on March 1st that I mentioned up in Welch's, he said that he didn't even think about pulling out his phone because he was just like looking at it going, oh, God, and it scared him and he left. He didn't even think about filming it.

Cliff, do you see yourself as more of a scientist or like an adventurer? Oh, neither one, really. I mean, I have a weird career path. I mean, I'm science-minded, and I think that's the important parts. I'm not a scientist, actually. I don't have any degrees like that or anything. I have a degree in jazz guitar, it turns out, you know. But I'm a scientifically minded amateur because this is, Bigfoot is one of those subjects

that even after the species has proven to be real, the academics and the field biologists are going to have to interface with the public because we're the ones that, we outnumber them. So we're the ones, I guess, that see them more often as a whole, you know, a handful of scientists versus everybody else. Well, everybody else is statistically, you know, has a better chance of seeing a Bigfoot, right? So I think that this is one of those cases that a citizen scientist like myself, someone who does want to do the field biology in an amateur sort of way, is going to be very, very helpful to academics. Cliff, what would you say to sway a non-believer? Oh, I don't.

I don't bother. It's one of those things that either you're kind of familiar with the evidence or you're not. Yeah. And most people aren't. It's as simple as that. And I get it. It's no big deal. But I would say this, that I encourage skepticism.

I think it's great because the truth can always withstand the scrutiny, no matter how hard you look. Good line. And Bigfoot is one of those things that the harder you look at the evidence, the more you're going, it's hard to look at the stuff, in my opinion. I mean, I'm completely convinced besides my two lousy observations and all the experiences and the footprints I've seen and all that stuff. It's hard to really do a neutral examination of the evidence and walk away saying it's clear there's nothing here at all. it's ridiculous in my opinion to think that way. The subject is worthy of investigation. Why haven't we ever found a dead Sasquatch then?

Same reason you don't find naturally dead bears and mountain lions. And I want to emphasize the term natural. It is true. Naturally dead is the key word there. You find dead ones that have been poached or cleaned on the side of the road or roadkill or something like that. But large apex predators. An apex predator is something that nothing else hunts and kills. so bears, mountain lions,

saskwatches, humans, that kind of thing. We prey species don't get to choose where they die because they're killed and eaten. Apex predators do kind of get to choose where they die. They just don't know they're going to die when they're out there doing their animal stuff, right?

So they probably squirrel themselves away. Well, maybe not squirrel. I probably shouldn't use that word. Hide themselves away at an appropriate place for them to get better. Kind of like what we do. We go to bed, right? And then one day they die instead of getting better.

And then the flesh is eaten away. The hair is eaten by moths. The bones are. eaten by the most plentiful animal in North America by biomass, the deer mouse and wood rats and porcupines eat bones and coyotes eat bones and deer and elk also eat bones. That's where they get the calisine for their antlers. Yeah, so the short answer is they're recycled pretty quick. Oh. So when this thing happens in Ohio, it was like eight sightings in two days. That doesn't make you like want to get on a plane and go to Ohio and check it out? My understanding is that most, if not,

I'm going to say most because I don't really know. Most of those witnesses have not been vetted. necessarily. I think someone takes a report and just puts it out without even finding out if the person's real or not, you know. So I think that that's the danger with this stuff, especially when social media outlets and influencers and news reporters get involved, is that they're just putting this stuff out there and then every joker in the area starts submitting the reports, sure or not. But people who have actually had observations are probably doing the same thing. So I don't know. I think that the Ohio thing is a little overblown. Although Ohio is very good for Sasquatches, certainly. Are there any other countries in the world that are big on Bigfoot Sasquatch, or is it just the United States?

Oh, no, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, I mean, Canada would be an obvious one, of course, but also overseas in Asia. I have personally looked for Sasquatch-like animals. They're not called that over there, but in China and in Vietnam and Australia has a history of these things, oddly enough. Indonesia has a different species of unknown ape species that walks bipedally called the Rangpendek and Ibu, Ibu Gogo is another one over there in Indonesia. Yeah, in Africa.

One of the gentlemen just died, his name was Gareth Patterson. He was an elephant researcher. And actually, back in the 70s, I don't know if you saw that movie Born Free. He was one of those guys. He was studying elephants and started running across Sasquatch things in South Africa. So, yeah, no, the United States is not the only place in the world within this tradition of unknown hairy bipeds. All the reports describe a smell. What would that smell like?

What could we compare that to? Actually, not all the reports, only about 10 to 15% of reports have a smell associated with it. But to answer to get more directly to your question, over the last 30-something years that I've been doing this, I've had, I guess, the quote-unquote privilege of smelling these things three times. And each time, one was in the Sisku Mountains of California, that one was in the Sierras, and then the other one was in Kentucky. They all three smelled exactly the same. And it's a very, very sharp smell.

And the best words I could wrap around it is dog crap parmesan. John. So you have two sightings and three smelling? Well, yeah, two lousy sightings. I mean, they're nothing to brag about or anything. But yeah, but I found tracks. I've recorded them vocalizing numerous times. Yeah, I mean, they're a normal species of animal here in North America, and you can, in fact, run across them. It's not like seeing an interdimensional shape-shifting UFO riding critter or something like that. It's they're mammals. They're primates.

Has Jack Slinks beef jerky made your job more difficult? Oh, well, I mean, I love Sasquot watches in general. So when they make a cartoon-y sort of version of something like that, I kind of celebrate it. I don't really, it doesn't really get in my skin. Representation matters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you, okay, what's your favorite burrito? Good question.

Oh, I like carneasada a lot. All right, good. Nice, nice. Oh, my God, yeah. It's just, I love it. Would you eat a sassas? Squatch Burrito if presented with an opportunity? I don't know.

I doubt it. I'd like to respect the animals so much, you know? But yeah, but it's like, I don't know, would you eat a human one? If one gave it, I don't know. I don't think it's appropriate to eat great apes of any type. Sure, sure. So if and when you see one get a better. I hope they're not delicious for their sake.

Yes. If you see one and get closer, a better sighting as opposed to your lousy ones, do you think you'll be fearful or will you weep tears of joy? Like, what is that moment going to be like for you? It's hard to predict that sort of thing, and I find that most of my predictions are go wildly wrong. But I would like to think that I would film the thing. I'm sure it would be very scary because, you know, I go alone a lot, and that's most likely how it's going to happen as I'll be walking along and there'll be one above me or below me. And whenever I run across any large mammals, especially at close range, it is a little spooky, you know.

I mean, even elk can turn on you and, you know, tear you up a little bit and stuff. All large mammals deserve a wide berth, and I'm sure it'll be a little, little, little, small. scary. Have there been any... I'll get that chance to find out. Have there been any killings of humans by Sasquatch? There's been a few reports of them, but I, um, like the eight canyon incident, for example, in Mount St. Helens, um, back in the 1920s. Um, but I, again, we wouldn't hear from the people who didn't survive. Yeah, yeah, you're right. So that's the problematic there, you know? What, what do the, what do Sasquatches or Bigfoot eat? And then are there excrement found regularly in the hikes and things like that? Okay. Um, I will take that second.

question first. I, yeah, certainly they poop. There's been a, I know, I only know of two reports, and I didn't speak directly to either witness of them, somebody seeing them take a dump. One of them was standing in the middle of a river and let it flow at that point. So I don't know. And the other one was told to me by Dr. Jeff Meldrum, who recently passed away in September. And he was, he interviewed the witness, I think it was a tribal cop on the Yakima Reservation in Washington. And he was following one at a distance and he saw it let loose with some turd and it buried it like a cat. So I don't know about that. Very interesting.

Yeah, yeah, it is interesting. I mean, yeah, it is interesting. And I'm sorry, I forgot the first question now. Do we know what they eat? Oh, yeah, yeah. They eat all sorts of stuff, actually. And I think their diet changes throughout the seasons, just like all these are omnivores. I think their diet is very similar to that of an American black bear combined with, you know, like native species, native humans, like Native American.

who are living here in First Nations people if you take away the fire technology. So I think that's the main difference. But yeah, everything's on the menu if you're a Sasquatch. What other, you mentioned jazz guitar. What other interest do you have or like, if I were to hang out with you, just be like, fuck, we're just going to talk about Sasquatch

the whole time. Oh, no, actually, I mean, Sasquatch is my work in my life. But I have a wide variety of interest, of course, because, you know, you have to be balanced in some sort of life. And certainly, being an eccentric weirdo like myself, my life has become unbalanced. in many ways over the years.

So it's always a struggle for me. But I live in the woods, so I really enjoy taking care of my property. I'm an amateur astronomer. I've got a pretty nice telescope. I love gardening. I play jazz guitar, solo and in small groups, and that sort of stuff.

You got it all. You got the test because I was like, Cliff might just only talk about Sasquatch. Sounds like you got a pretty well-rounded light. What a light. And where's your museum again? I have a little museum called North American Bigfoot Center outside of Portland, Oregon in a town called,

check this out, boring organ. Oh! Yeah, that's awesome, right? That's sick. Nothing against the feed store, but we're the most exciting thing in boring. All right, well, Cliff, thank you so much for joining us on a whim, and I think if we get some more of these sightings, we're going to have to have you back on.

Yeah, go ahead and give me a hauler anytime. This was fun, and thank you for accommodating me. I'm going out to the Willow Creek Museum right now to help them with their archives and their collection and because my life is all about Bigfoot and luckily I love it. Awesome. Thank so much, Cliff.

Yeah, Cliff. I play the rap, poor video. It's where he feels normal. Driving is this. I just woke up in Japan. Another Tiger Woods car accident. Pretty awful news to wake up too.

First, most important thing, it seems like everyone's okay. That's obviously number one. It's just really sad. You know, taking off the journalist out a little bit. I think a lot of us grew up idolizing this guy, and this is not what we want to see him in the news for.

The fact that his body's in this condition, the fact that he continues to put himself behind the wheel, it seems like in circumstances like this. He seems so good at TGL just a couple weeks ago, happy and engaged, you know, and I think we all just want to see Tiger happy That's all we want to see I don't that's all we want to see

He's provided us with so many incredible moments and memories and Yeah it's just a huge bummer It's just really really sad That's true That's really all there is to say I mean I wish you would never drive

but I think driving is one place where he feels like kind of normal and there it is yeah you know in control in control probably gets moments of but not in control at all control imagine that surely doesn't seem like what if he's right what if that is that is the one imagine how out of control the rest of his life it's the one place that's what he's in the most control in his defense he probably does feel normal now flipping car yeah

Dan Rapporteur's in the waiting room. Oh, fuck yeah. What? All right. Let's go. Dan. There is. Where are you at?

I'm, uh, we just did my show. I'm in the, the, I'm in the, Dan on Golf, uh, podcast. I'm in the studio. We just finished. Awesome. Are you back from Japan? I am back from Japan. Uh, I'm ready.

I'm ready for it all. I'm ready for it all. I can handle it. Let's go. Well, yeah, I do appreciate that from you. And we were actually somewhat defending you in that, uh, like you, it's a cynical world out there and you were just giving your genuine take. Did you realize

though when you put it out there that it would become a 10 million view video and very funny, maybe not for the reasons you thought it would be? I knew so I was like, as soon as I posted it, I was looking at the replies and I was like well this is not going the way that I

thought it was. And then I took a shower. It was like first thing in the morning. That's why I said I was in 10 because it was like first thing in the morning. I'd gone to this Japanese karaoke thing the night before, so I was, you know, I had some beers the night before. I took a shower to try to clear my head and then

opened my phone and saw the scariest notification that you will ever see in your life, Dave Portnoy, retweeting your video. I knew I was in for it. So it was, you know, I understand why people took it the way that they did. It was my gender in reaction. Like I've, I, you know,

before I came to Barstool, I worked at Golf Digest and I, um, I was like Tigers, like I did everything Tiger. So I was like kind of around him. I was there the day when he, I was at the shoot when he was supposed to come, like when he got in the horrible car accident in 2021, I was there. So definitely a little bit of like personal stuff wrapped up. But I rewatched it and I totally understand why it went the way that it did. Yeah, I think people are pouncing on the driving to feel normal and the control line the most, which.

Well, I think it's true. Like I, you know, there was. Oh, okay. There was a line in the in the documentary the HBO documentary that was like Tiger fucking loves scuba diving because like he can just not talk to people and I think the line in there which is you know another line that is very sort of poetic which will get clown on the internet is the fishes don't know he's Tiger Woods which kind of makes you go all but I genuinely think it's true like if you think that there's not guys in his circle who are like Tiger will get you a driver and he's like shut the fuck up I'm not like I'm driving you know I think he's had such a crazy life since he was the guy was on national TV when he was three years old playing golf. He was a phenom forever. I do think that, like, him driving and blasting 90s hip-hop is, like, probably one of

his favorite things that he gets to do. Not defending him. She definitely should not be driving. There's no excuse for driving impaired. He's putting people at risk. But I was just trying to give some context to the situation. But it certainly got out of hand. I think the word control was just, right?

Control, yeah. Yeah. Like his life is out of control. Yeah. He's got to just take a couple pills and get him. his Land Rover. Yeah. Yeah, good advertisement for Land Rover.

I mean, he skitted the whole way on the driver's side and then climbed out. So that thing is, that's a sturdy vehicle. Yeah, it is. It's what he needs. Any insight into, like, does he have the ability to do this to roll his car? We're impressed by 25 mile an hour neighborhood to be able to roll his car. Is that something you saw coming that he would be as good of a car roller as he is golfer? And you got to respect that.

I mean, it's unbelievable, Dan. I think it was, if you watch the press. conference of the sheriff you know they're asking him like how how fast was he going you know this is like a 20 mile an hour thing and they go well if you see how long he skidded on the road I think that kind of tells the whole story so I don't think he was going anywhere near 20 miles per hour it's it's crazy it's it's also like I guess the the car in front of him was turning right and he clipped it he must have been gun I'm sure there'll be some videos that come like

because it's it was on Jupiter Island where he lives is like one of the wealthiest in the world. So you've got to think all of those houses have like cameras. So stuff's going to come out. It's not going to be pretty. Yeah.

Upon reflecting and reviewing, do you have any amendment you'd like to make to your statement or like a personal message to Tiger? I'll learn from Dave. You know, I'll stick with it.

Okay. Yeah. It is. It is cool. You didn't delete it. You just yeah. You didn't push back. It was authentic.

It was raw in the moment. You can't delete. I've actually, I've actually, I learned. a lot from, you know, my years with you guys. Like, once you start deleting, that's a game that you can never play. So just let it sit.

Yeah. Do you, what's, what is the future for Tiger now, do you think? There's a lot of awkwardness coming up. I mean, so the Masters is next week. That's the tournament that is most closely associated with Tiger. It's the biggest tournament of sport. It's where he, you know, 1997 is coming out party, 2001, completes the curriculum and slam. 2019.

he wins and all of the 2017 DUI stuff goes away. He's also, he's opening a golf course next week in Augusta that his foundation or his design firm, like refurbished, this public course down the road. So there was supposed to be this big ceremony. He's supposed to be at the Champions Dinner. There's a lot of talk about him being the Ryder Cup captain for the next year. Don't know how that's going to go.

And he's also, he's been like leading the PGA Tour's response to live golf. He's been, he's the chair of what's called the Future. competitions committee, which is like the PGA tours, they have a new CEOs from the NFL. And he keeps talking about, you know, I'm working with Tiger. I'm working with Tiger to, you know, Tiger Woods is a huge voice in this. It puts everyone in a really

awkward spot. So it sounds like he had too much stuff going on. That's probably why he's like, I got to flip my car. Like I got to get back to normal. It's an easy way out, you know? Yeah. So do you think you'll play in the Masters? No way, right? I don't think so. I mean, Trump kind of spilled the beans. This was like

right before. He was like Tiger's going to be there. He's not going to play, but he's going to be there. Don't know if that was real or that was just, you know, Trump being box office. But no, I don't think he's going to play. I'd be interested to see, you know, they haven't said anything. There's no state. Usually when something bad with Tiger happens, there's like one of those statements with

the three triangles on top, haven't seen anything. So that's, that's got to be coming because he can't just show up, can't just show up without saying anything. Like, you got to think that they're going to preempt it in some way. I don't know. What's the three triangles thing? It's a lumenod. That's his, it's his logo.

Oh, right. Rigs in the road. Yeah. Yeah, his foundation logo is three triangles, and it's kind of this joke in golf, like when you see the three triangles, like nothing good. Nothing good. Okay.

From where you're sitting right now, how many pictures or references to Tiger Woods can you see without getting up? One, two. I got this one right. Can you see that one right there right behind me? That's a picture of Tiger. Oh, yeah. That's awesome.

With a cigar guy in there, one of my favorite golf pictures of all time. The guy on the right, just looking absolutely crazy. like four yeah i mean tigers tiger's it do you still idolize them oh there it is

three triangles yeah that's bad it's been three triangles not a good sign no i don't i don't idolize him um i think he's the greatest player who's ever lived he is the reason why i think like got into golf in the first place but i would not say that

but as a byproduct to that you are still like passionate and obsessed with him as a person beyond golf he's like a one in a generation figure. Right. Like if it was just the golf, like, you know, golf is a very white sport historically. So for a guy who's not white to be the biggest star in the sport, like that alone is

movies, documentaries. And then this whole second chapter, he's like, it's like a Shakespearean tragedy. Like it's just, it never stopped. He's had a once in a generation life. And I'm sure, you know, and I'm sure what he's thinking also is like, you know, he had all this negative news cycle in 2017 when he had the DUI. Then he won the Masters and like no one cared anymore. So I'm sure what he's thinking about is like, just get back out there.

Just win again. You know, winning solves everything. So it's, I don't know what the answer is. I don't know where it stops. It's certainly not over. What do you think about Sam on our side here at Barstool, you know, saying not talk about it? Oh, yeah. You know, Riggs rides with this guy.

Yeah. I think, I think, uh, he's in there. Oh, no. We got to stop. We got to check it on him. Maybe I should just stop with the words. If Riggs was shotgun. I keep saying the wrong thing.

Tiger, get out of here. What? Riggs going through the wigs. Dan, last question. What happens if he gets in another car accident? Will you do another video being like, and another one happened? Because the odds are it does.

And at what point would you take the pictures down? I hadn't thought about taking the pictures down. Maybe that will have to be our, you know, our response. I think you give him one more. Yeah. One more. I would think that the state of Florida is going to take his license away. So 2017, the accident, or not the accident, the DUI, that was in Florida.

2019 was here in California. He didn't even get a traffic ticket. So that one, you know, was. That's when he rolled his car like five times. Yeah, that's when he rolled his car. signs of breaking, you know, crushed his right leg. But this is in the same state. So I would think that he is going to be legally barred from driving, which is probably the

best outcome. Yeah. I forgot the, so 2017, you got DUI. He had the, obviously the one in, when the whole story came out with his ex-wife. So this is four. That's four rolls. Fourth car accident that is like set off a shitstorm. Wait, was 2017 a car accident or just a DUI?

Just a DUI, but that's when he said, you know, he said he was playing a golf tournament in California. Yeah. And he was in Florida. Yeah. Okay. That's okay. Yeah. And then you said there was one at no signs of breaking. He just let that thing fucking go. Yeah. So that was one thing that came out from 20, 2021.

He was going like 80 miles an hour when he hit the, hit the tree. It's incredible that he survived. Yeah. Man. I mean, he is, yeah, he's a survivor. That's right. He is a survivor. All right, Dan. Great to see you. Thank you for facing the music. Yeah. And a pretty good response.

Yeah. really good response. Yeah. Respect. Oh. Well, thank you to say that. I said good response of nothing. Tiger made the call.

Happy 47th Brandon. TJ, you want to show the gift? All right. It is the Brandon Walker pond dedicated to Brandon Walker. This body of water was renamed in 2026 to honor. Brandon Walker celebrated Barstool Sports Personality, college football analyst, and proud resident of these shores. A native West Point, Mississippi, Walker is entertained millions through his sharp wit.

What does that say? Unaltered. All right, well, we'll fix that. Unaltered commentary in larger than life presence dedicated 2026. And we have the mayor of Antioch on. Oh, my. What it was. Wait a second.

Congratulations, Brandon. On this pond. Walker pawn. Walker pond. Thanks for having me, guys. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on.

I assume if that's the mayor, you're. That's the mayor. You're Scott, right? Yeah. Yep, Scott, yeah. Okay, so Scott, uh, you and I both know that's a lake. That's not a pond. I know, I know.

But we had, we didn't know if we could name a full lake after you. Oh, my God. That's real. I thought they are. Oh, no, no. We had to go through the whole services and everything. What the fuck is this? And we got it classified as a pond.

And it's Brandon Walker pond. So, yes. Yeah. So, uh, you know, they asked me to make a little proclamation for this. So, you know, Brandon is. you know, I'm the mayor of Antioch, and I'm joining you guys on official municipal business. In honor of your birthday, we reviewed the body of water that you live on to determine the best name for it.

I thought about maybe the Brandon Walker Inlet, the Brandon Walker Lagoon Channel, but we felt it best appropriate to name it the Brandon Walker Pond. So everybody that comes out to your house will see this sign and forever know that as your location, so we appreciate it. Brandon Congratulations Why did you Why did you bother this man with this?

What do you mean? He's your You're a wonderful member of the community He wanted, we asked him to help out Beautiful He'll just like a fight at the limerick here in town He's a civic leader here. I should have met him already

I haven't met him yet Thank you for giving my mother a job Yeah we have a little we have a connection here So his mom worked here for a little bit And then she quit. Very short of that. Yeah. And she lasted half a winter in the cold weather.

Somebody chased her out of here. So she went back to Mississippi. I didn't know that connection. And she said she was going to get me master's tickets this year. Oh, no. I'll tell you this. She was lying about that. Well, next year.

Because I paid for them damn thing. Did she lie about master's tickets? Wait, Brandon, this man, the mayor of Van Dyock got you. a beautiful pond named after you. It's very possible. Why don't you offer him the master ticket with you next year? His problem. Scott's problem is I've probably offered that to 30 people in this office alone.

So you included. This is, you know what? I'm going to get Scott, Mr. Mayor, excuse me. Yep. Brandon. Brandon did offer me to go to the master of them. I'm going to actually give you my ticket that Brandon offered to me. Well, I have a.

Would you accept my ticket? Well, yeah. For next year. a little late this year. Yeah, yeah, no, for next year. Would you accept my ticket? Yeah, I'll go next year for sure. All right, would you, you want to thank me or anything?

Yeah, thank you, brother. Yeah, no worries. Of course. All right, Scott, hold on. What are the friends of Lake Antioch going to say when they walk down there and they see that sign? Yeah, I don't get a shit what they say. Yeah. I'm saying this is your spot.

Yeah. Ready and Walker Pond. All right, all right. You haven't said thank you yet. Well, thank you. I don't know if I'm thankful. What are you talking about? Well, it's pretty, it's funny.

And it does not come with an increase in your taxes. I'll promise you that. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I am concerned it. You actually put it on the public land right there. It's the pond.

It's a lake. A pond becomes a lake. No, it actually officially is a pond. But he got it reclassed as a whole time. All respect to the honorable mayor here. He does a fine job. I'm not sure he has the authority to override the laws of physics. No, this is a pond.

It's official. I can override the laws of spelling because they ever did that. sign doesn't know the spell. We got a little issue there. A little typo in there. Take that back to the printer. Yep. All right.

Well, this is very funny. Thank you very much, Scott. We need to have, we need to have lunch or something one day. When, Mr. Mayor, when is the next election? For me, not soon enough, but three more years, I think. Okay. All right. Oh, you know.

All right. So if you're trying to get reelected, we would love to come up and do a rally with whatever. We have you guys up here. We have a good concerts coming up up here, so I'll talk to Brandon offline. Okay. Awesome. Well, thank you. Thank you so much.

I can't say we have the best pizza. I'm originally from Morton Grove, so I can't say Antioch's got the best pizza over Morn Grove with Peacodds and birds and all that, but we can still have you up for some some of our places are pretty good. Piquots is pretty good. Antioch is pretty good. Yeah. All right.

Thanks, boys. All right. Hey, Scott. I'll come see you, man. All right. Sounds good. All right. Thank you.

Thanks. Nice. Well, she worked for it. I don't think he was saying anything. Nice, dude. I didn't know that connection. That's very far. Uh-huh.

How long he knew her very, very briefly? How long have you fuckers been doing this? It took about a month and a half. Yeah. It was a long time to get it reclassified. Oh, there he is. Oh, my God. It's Hoyt Stanley.

Oh, my boy. So I had a calendar, I had a calendar notice that I must have put in last year exactly this date checking on Hoyt Stanley. And it popped up this morning. And things have been going well for Hohd is here. Hoyt. Yeah, what's going on with you? Not much.

I'm just been living in a hotel the last three weeks in Belleville. It's like a couple hours outside of Toronto. I just signed my NHL contracts. I'm playing with the affiliate team rest of the year. Fuck yes. Unbelievable. Wait, what's the team? It's called the Belleville Senators.

Love that. The N8 teams, Ottawa, senators. Okay. And oh, yeah, there you are. There it is. Wait, did you get drafted this year? I got drafted in 2023. So it's been three years.

And I went to school, obviously at Cornell for three years. And now I'm signed a deal. How did the Cornell season go? It's pretty good. We were ranked like top 10, the whole year, sort of. We ended up losing in the first round, Denver, who ended up winning the whole thing. So tough matchup, but it was good. Yeah.

Yeah, well, it's great to see you. You are one and only Hoyt. We still haven't found another Hoyt. Yeah, but like we found this Hoyt and then we kind of just didn't need another. Yeah, we just have this Hoyt. Kind of gave up the search. Yeah. It's all we needed.

Wait, so how much more of the season is going on? For this team right now, we play tonight against Syracuse and tomorrow in Syracuse, so only two more games. Oh, okay. I'll head back to Cornell and finish up my classes, see my buddies, so it should be good. Damn. you're actually doing the thing. You're getting a degree. Yeah, I took like extra summer classes and classes during the year and stuff.

So I'll be able to graduate probably like a year early. Just make sure I get it done and then move on. Damn. Do you have any pool within the organization yet to where one of us could do a puck drop? I don't know. I don't know if I have that much pull yet. I've played four games for the affiliate team. But hopefully I keep working my way up and then I'll get you guys at puck drop.

drop hopefully. Have you seen the guy sitting next to me? Have you seen a shirt? I can't really see it that well. Yeah, because you're not laughing. Right. What do you think it is, though? I'm trying to make it. Is that mouse trap? He's laughing. He's laughing. He's pretty good, huh? I mean, he is an Ivy League soon to be grad. Yeah. And obviously he's played

mousetrap before. Yeah. He went through childhood. Wow. Yeah. All right. Well, Hoyt. Best of luck for the rest of the year. I guess it's this weekend. And I just put into the calendar April 2027 Hoyt Stanley Day. And we got to get you to the office. Hopefully, if you're on Belleville next year,

do you play like Rockford? Oh, we might, yeah. Okay. So, yeah. We got to get you in the league and then we got to get you to Chicago. And then we got to kidnap you and never let you go. Yep.

That's our plan. Bottle you up, transfer you to a vial, mix you with water. A little bit of this. Loaded up into a syringe. Stop it into my outer thigh and then dance for a day straight. Like everyone's watching. Adoringly.

How's that sound like. I'm going to dance for so long with you in my system that I become a local folklore. That whip a snapper from wheeling. He won't stop dancing. He's got a hoy in him. He's got a thigh. He's filled with perpetual hoit. I'm

All right Hoy you're the best man Thank you for coming on You're the best We're big fans Yeah yeah Let's keep crushing it And I'll tell you what

When you do get to league Not if but when We will We will absolutely go to a game Because that would be awesome If we just had like A Hoyt section Yeah and it's like

You know like maybe even his first game They show is like adoring parents And then we're just sitting in front of it Oh my God If your first goal And I'm fucking weeping Yeah That's our hoit.

He did it. Oh, man. Dude, imagine if you win a Stanley lifting Stanley? Oh, my God. I didn't put it together. I bet he has imagined that.

Yeah. That would be awesome. All right. Well, Hoy, thank you so much, man. Yeah. Appreciate it. All right.

See you, man. Good luck. What are the chances? Kyle, you could have just said bye. I get, yeah, now that I'm thinking about Monday in Vegas, there's got to be like some, like, sales conference that they can. I'd be great if Nikki Smoke shows up to, like, the concrete expo.

Right. Like, I'm here to fuck. We got to get it. If he pools at a tub fitting expo, then he's God. Home appliances. The hottest chick at the home show. The trade gala. Dude, he should.

He should go try to pull. I'm saying they should go off the beaten path. What we got here right now? Tortoise. That's where he's going. He's going to fuck. Oh, my God. He's 100% kill.

500 bodies. Tortoisee enthusiasts. It's a horseshoe. Please make him go. Oh, man. The tortie. What happens there? I need to know more.

If he doesn't fuck by then, you have to send him to the tortilla. Oh, there's comments. There's tortilla comedy. And tortilla. What is this already sexual? Is there something we're missing here? Is it literally just tortillas? Send him, send him.

Is it a different word for something else? Yeah. Is that like a Latina woman without tits or an ass? Tortilla. A flat Latina? Hey, get the monkey off your back. Go get a tortilla. Go fuck a tortilla.

Make yourself a chalupa. Call it a day. Tortilla. all the thing. Oh, there's, oh my God. It's too much pressure. Oh, Kip Loosley. I like that guy. Now, do you get it from making them or eating them? These are the faces of tortilla. What? Got to be making them, right? But dude, I got to, I won't lie.

It's well-formatted website. Dr. Lloyd Arroney? Wayne Beach. This is fake. This has. to be fake. What the hell? He's going to go sunbathing on Wayne Beach.

Wade, this might sneaky, though, be the horniest festival. I think it might be. All right, we have a guest now. We have Jim Cabani, who is the executive director and CEO of the tortilla industry.

Oh, look at the logo. Jim, that's an awesome. The chief window washer, too. There we go. So, Jim, we, we, stumbled upon the Tortilla Fest or what was it, Tortilla Khan that's going on in Vegas? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Later this week and we were just kind of curious what, what goes on there? Well, I'm kind of curious what bar stools have to do with tortillas other than the fact that maybe you're sitting on a bar stool having chips and salsa, right? Yep, yep, absolutely. Absolutely. I love tortillas. Yeah.

I'm big fans. Thank you for your sport. Thanks for your work. Yes. Yes. So basically we put on three events a year. This is kind of the big one. And the organization has been around for 30 years. Most people go like, wow, I didn't know there was a tortilla association.

But yes, folks, there is. It's 30 years old. It's about a $32 billion a year industry right now. And it's a chance for everybody that makes tortillas and everybody that sells them stuff to make tortillas with get together in Las Vegas. And we have a trade show. We have educational sessions about how to make your tortillas not stick together and all kinds of good stuff like that.

And then we do a bit of partying and everybody goes home happy. Nice. Oh, yeah. Is there any tension between the corn and flour tortilla people? No, in fact, a lot of companies make tortillas both with, some with corn, some with flour, just different parts of the building. Is the tortilla sticking together? Is that the biggest issue that you guys face is in an industry? No, not really.

Certainly not for the companies that have been around for a while. That's more like a newcomer kind of a question, you know? All right, my bad I hand up No offense No offense Yeah, no Like you've been there

More big cats Has the industry ever been worried About the rise of the burrito bowl? Oh I don't really know what that means So like people Yeah Oh, I'm mad

No Okay It's the ingredients of a burrito But without the tortilla Without the tortilla Well, I can say categorically We have not found that to be an existential threat

Okay. Okay. Have there been any big innovations in the tortilla world in the last few years that are exciting? Yeah. I mean, as sort of, you know, we kind of follow what the consumer wants. So, you know, we started doing gluten-free tortillas. We started doing, you know, kosher. We started doing keto.

You know, whatever the public wants, we try to provide them with tortilla products that are healthy and delicious and meet their needs. and, you know, so those kinds of innovations. You know, it's a 3,000-year-old product, so it's not, like, explosive or anything, but, again, it responds to the public. And tortilla's outsold sandwich bread for the first time about eight years ago. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. And fun fact, salsa outsold ketchup.

Oh, no way. Wow. So it's on the, it's time to invest. We got to. Wow. We're already late. Now, wait, what was TortillaCon like that year? Were you guys like, holy shit?

Like, we did it. It's crazy. Yeah, people were like shaking the heads going, hey, you got to be kidding? Yeah. It's true. That sounds awesome. And you said you guys party, too. Do you do tortilla people typically get pretty loose?

Yeah. I mean, you know, there's some stuff that goes out in Vegas that stays in Vegas. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Is there any particular group like, oh, here come the Ortega boys. They're going to tear it up. Is there any particular wild cards?

No comment. We love all our members equally. Okay. Love it. So we have a bunch of people in Vegas right now. We have one guy who we're, he's just kind of, he's down on his dumps. And we're like, hey, Tortilla Khan's going to be happening in Vegas. Do you think we get him like a pass to go to one of the days?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is he like a news media type? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I guess kind of. He works with us here at the, he's, yeah, he's just the Vegas, the clubs and the, the bars aren't really working for him out there.

Yeah. Yeah. So he's trying to meet Newt. We have some entertainment on Friday night. We do an awards banquet. And we have a very funny lady, a comedian. Her name is Monique Mervis. He might have heard with her.

And then we have a magician, another lady who's a magician. So we have some fun stuff. But if you email me after we hang up to shoot me his name, I'll make sure there's a name badge waiting with his name on it. Oh, I love it. That's incredible. He's going to have a great time. My pleasure.

Jim, what does the name Wayne Beach mean to you? Wayne used to be a member of Tia. He used to work for Tyson's Foods, and he was a board member, and at one point he rotated through as being chairman of the board. Do you guys know him? No, we just were going, we saw the cons. We were going through the website. Is there a goat of the tortilla world?

Is there a guy who's like, oh, well, that's the king? No, not really. I mean, the nice thing about this industry is that there's lots and lots of mom and pop success stories, you know, guys that started out, you know, as janitors and now, like, I own a $30 million company and then their wife built it together and their kids

run it, their grandkids are getting ready to take over and stuff like that. So it's really the American dream just kind of, you know, all over the entire industry. Yeah. How many tortillas do you eat a day? I don't know if my wife can hear me.

You're sneaky tortillas? A flasker tortilla? Yeah. A late-night Tartia? Yeah. I mean, they're the best. They really are. They really are. What are casuals like us missing with tortillas?

Like, what should we be putting in tortillas that we're not even thinking of? Well, you know, the nice thing about tortillas is they're really sort of food delivery platform, right? So it's whatever you like. If you want to put meat in there, you're going to put vegetarian stuff and beans, it's just kind of like a launching point, you know? It's like if you buy a car, where are you going to drive you on vacation? You go to Miami? Oh, go skiing? Right.

My American skiing? Oh, shit. Has tortillas in the room in that? Tortillas give you powers. Yeah, there we go. How often do you experiment? You put like breakfast cereal with some milk in a tortilla? Have you ever pee-beating jade on a tortilla?

Well, it just kind of depends on the leftover situation in the fridge. Okay. Yeah. That tends to drive the creativity. Will there be intervieged? international representation at Tortilla Con this year? Yes, actually we expect people from about 18 different countries to come. And a few years ago, I launched the European version of this conference on a smaller scale.

But it's been very popular. We've had it like in Barcelona and Amsterdam, in Denmark. We even had it in Izmir Turkey last year. Wow. So men from all over the world and women too? Yes. It's a mixed back. Okay.

Yeah, very much. And one of the things that we're finding that's interesting is like there's just a huge interest in tortillas like in Eastern Europe and in the Middle East. And at first I was a little bit curious like, why? You know, because they have pita bread, right? Why do they need tortillas? Well, what we found and what they had discovered is that actually pita bread starts to dry and crack fairly soon compared to tortillas. Yeah. So if you're making wraps and you want to use pita bread for your wrap, you'd rather use a flour tortilla instead.

It's just got much, much better longevity. So a lot of those guys are, like, starting to say, oh, we need to edit a tortilla line to our factory. Can you teach us how to do that? You know, blah, blah, blah. And that's kind of been taken off. Jim, thank you so much for joining. We appreciate it. Oh, my pleasure.

Thank you very much. Nice meeting you all. Yeah. Great meeting you. Have a great time in Vegas this week. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, don't forget to send me your buddy's name and I'll take care of it.

All right. Love it. Thank you so much, Jim. Oh, oh, oh, oh, we got to hang up with them. Is that, do we have a different person on Zoom right now? Yeah, he's on the phone. Oh, hello? It's Wayne Beach.

Wayne Beach, how are you? I'm fine, how are you? Great, sorry that you had to hear. We were talking to some other friends. Apologized for that. We were looking, so we were looking, oh, get them all. Dante, hang up. Hang up, Dante.

Mr. Beach, we were looking at Tortilla Khan that's going on in Vegas this week. We saw you were in the Hall of Fame. First of all, congratulations. Thank you. And then we just had, like, we kind of were just wondering what Tortilla Khan is like and what the scene is there. Well, like I told Josh, I've been away from it for a number of years, but it's a number of processors, a number of suppliers,

equipment, ingredients, materials. And basically it's a trade show. Wayne, was it hard? So are you no longer in the sphere of tortilla anymore? No, I've been retired for nine years. Okay. Got it. But the Hall of Fame, what came with the Hall of Fame?

Was there a jacket, a watch? What happens when that, when you get inducted? It's a nice ceremony. It's a recognition at the conference at the convention that you're talking about, the night of a dinner and the entertainment. So it's a nice little deal. I love it. We had, what was his name? Jim, what was his last?

He is the director of the. Cabani. Yeah, we had him on the show. And we were asking, like, so you were in the tortilla business for a very long time. Is there something in the tortilla business that, like, is an existential threat that you're like, we can't have wheat bread take off or we can't have burrito bowls. We need tortillas. Nothing like that.

The biggest issues you have are consistent with or would be consistent with about in the industry. supply of labor and raw material cost. The market, the tortilla market has seen a significant expansion over the last 30, 40 years. When I first started 40 years ago or 50 years ago, there was not a handful of Cortia companies outside of California, Arizona, Colorado. And now it's pretty much accepted in mainstream, and there's processors all over the country doing bang-up business. So it's grown significantly.

So when's the last time you've been to the convention? Oh, I guess nine or ten years ago. Now, it's not strictly business, is it? it? Well, I mean, with any convention, there's a lot of entertaining and whatnot, but it's pretty, it's pretty business-like. I mean, if you, if you go to that thing and walk the floor, I mean, it's two, they used to, they used to have exhibits for two and a half days, and it would take you a good day, day and a half to walk the floor. Wow. Okay. Nice. and whatnot. And then, of course, there was social hours and dinners and entertainment

and what it in the evening. And a lot of suppliers had key customers that they would entertain. But it's not just a free-for-all party, I can assure you. No. When we had Jim on, he said that the tortilla sticking together is something that industry-wide They have to do some educational courses on how to stop that. Was that something that you found as well that the sticking together of tortillas is, you know, maybe a workplace hazard? It's not a hazard.

It's something that you need to understand the cause and effect and implement solution. And not that our company didn't have an occasional little blip, but we've been able to kind of crack the code, if you will, on what causes it and how to prevent it. But yes, it is, it is an issue on the, on the flower side, the wheat flower side, not an issue on corn. Yeah, I can see that. So you're a tortilla OG. You've been there since pretty much the tortilla boom. Is there a tortilla you would recommend for us to try? Oh, there's a number of tortillas. I mean, the national brands that you see in the stores, they're, you know, they're good. And the good thing or the key thing is to try to find a local processor.

Well, you can get that stuff fresh daily. There's nothing better than, you know, like freshly baked bread, especially freshly baked tortilla. You won't find anything better, but it's hard to find a supplier close to you. You know, if you go to some of the traditional Hispanic areas, you'll find the little tortillaeas and bakeries making corn and flour daily and whatnot. Is there anyone who hasn't gotten their Hall of Fame jacket yet, like anyone that deserves to be there that we could help rally in campaign for? Oh, I wouldn't.

No. I'm sure there's a lot of deserving. I'm sure there's a lot of deserving individuals, but like I say, I've, you know, I kind of keep up with it just a little bit, but very, very little. Okay. Like I said, I hadn't discussed anything with Jim and probably seven or eight years. years. So, and I, you know, the company I used to work for, I know a few of the guys and talk to them occasionally, just kind of what's going on, nothing serious.

But I'm just so far removed, I would not try to recommend anyone, to be honest with you. Well, Mr. Beach, thank you so much. We really appreciate you calling in. And congrats again. Yeah, you're a legend. You're a legend in the game. If you're ever in Chicago, please stop. We'd love to see you.

So thanks so much. Oh, are you in Chicago? Yeah, we're in Chicago. Well, there's a couple of local. I can't tell you where they are, but I know there's a couple of local very good tortillas in Chicago. Go find them. You want some good fresh tortillas.

I love that. I love that. We will. All right, well, thanks so much. Appreciate it. You're welcome. All right, see you. See you.

See you. Can I ask a political, money question, or not really. Great. So, you know, you know how gold is used to measure like the strip? What does you? Do you only look up gold? Well, no. Is it like me to Caroline Levitt,

you to gold? Things we learned about today? I am, if you were handed a gold bar and it's worth... This guy just found out about gold in her She saw gold for the first time. This is like one 10-minute YouTube on gold. This is Yosemmy-Same.

Oh my God. This stuff is Pretty nice. I'm fucking talking about gold, dude. I can get into gold. Enough about gold. Honestly, let's get gold. Let's do gold.

It's a question for you guys. You guys were handed at a gold bar. How quickly could you turn that into money and how much percent of worth do you think you can get for it? I wouldn't know what to do. Hey, Dr. Michael, how are you? Hanging in there, guys. I hear the word that thing is triggered, right?

Yeah, well, listen, we're, we just became very interested in gold in the, in the last 30 minutes. And now you're on. You're the America's gold expert. What can you tell us about gold? Well, when Steve Forbes and I collaborated in November of 2023, we thought it might go to $2,600 from 1900. And now it's sitting above $4,500.

It was going down a little earlier today. But anyway, it's long-term. It's good. Central banks are buying. Demand has out the base supply for five years in a row. and just buy on the dips is what I would say. Okay, but also like how do we get, where does gold come from? And what is it?

Well, it's my, it's basically inert. It's used in rings. It's used in a lot of central banks hold it since 2,500 BC. It's been money. And gold is used as an asset that protects the value. And so it's mined out of the earth and melted into bullion bars, into bullion coins. The U.S. Men is the largest seller of bullion coins in the world. And, you know, you've got to be worried about counterfeits.

There are a lot online coming from China. About 90% come from China. And so I would say, know your dealer. Consumer Protection Guide for the Attorney General of Texas. I help you see in post office affairs. You've got to make sure the dealer, if you're going to buy or sell gold, is the dealer award winning? Has the dealer got any credentials as far as consulting?

what is his expertise, how long in business, what's its rating with the BBB. Know your dealer before you buy anything. Get information first. I want to ask a question, but I don't even know how. We have a friend who is buying small grams of gold stamped with things like Barbie and SpongeBob and NASCAR. Have you heard of this? I don't even know what to call it. That's fine. You can get gold, silver with all sorts of stamping on it or colorized or everything. if you want the most gold near spot value, what the gold value is, you just want plain gold. Any of those accessories cost you money and premiums. You're investing in a collectible that you like, not in the value of the gold as much.

So be careful. A lot of things on light net TV are gold-plated. They're not full gold. Again, know your dealer, know the dealer's credibility in the industry. If we got a gold bar, what do we do with it? You go to a reputable professional numismus guild. Let's say that three times. That's like semi-Quincennial.

Our country's 250th anniversary with new coins coming out all over. But you say it three times, Beetlejuice might appear. So anyway, no, if you get a gold bar reputable dealer, look up the professional numismus guild. Find one of those in your area. You can look at their website. And you should get right around spot value within a percent or two of spot for the if you have a one ounce, 10 ounce, kilogram bar, but find a very reputable dealer.

Not a mail-in, not a hotel buyer. Hotel buyers pay fractions. So to mail mail order. Professional in the misfitest guilt. It's a leading organization of reputable dealers. Dr. our most Asian member has a question. Hi. If we just had $1.9 million in our pocket and wanted to buy a standard delivery gold bar,

where would that be? You could call me universal coin and bullion. 800, 822, 4653, you should be gold. But you would pay about 1 to 2% depending on the size and the quantity over spot. Gold bullion coins like the U.S. min issues, the American Eagle is the most popular gold billion coin, would run you 3.5 to 4% over spot per ounce. And do you have to drive there to pick it up, or do they mail it to you? We can ship it to you.

Any reputable dealer can ship it. They can send Brinks or armored car to you on your. You're 1.9 million. You've got to hang around in your back pocket. But if it's smaller amount, we just FedEx or Postal Service insured. How much gold was lost with Sakajuea coins? How much gold? Saka joia coins do not have gold.

They're golden dollars, not gold, gold den. Oh, oh. You may just look like a fool, Stephen. Why would you ask that? I ask about golden graham. That's about Sacagawea? Hurry, hurry. of you guys. It's the NCAA I'm in fun of.

Yes. Yes, 76 teams bullshit, right? Can I tell you one other? It's nonsense. They count in their quad ratings, a neutral court game. Mississippi State placed one hour from their home field with SEC officials. Yep. And that counts as a neutral quad, not a home quad. That's agreed.

Agree. Thank you. How does everybody do that go at you? Thank you. What is it about you? I love you guys in Elton Tiger Red. I love you guys who are awesome sauce. Thank you.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you. That's awesome. Yeah, 76, though, is terrible. Wouldn't you agree, Doctor? I don't like that at all either. But I do think the quad system is totally waiting to the power conferences and doesn't give the two by high point at least enough credit for their wins.

And you know what also is bullshit about the quad system? There's like, I think it happened. I went to Wisconsin this year. we beat Iowa so bad that it became like it went from a quad one win to a quad two wins. So you like, you should beat a team, a good team, but don't beat them so bad that they drop in the quads. How stupid is that? It is. I helped Jeff Segrin and Jim Van Valkenberg. He did the RPI, the five RPI with their ratings. And they both agreed when I put a table from the sporting news of homo way and neutral games. They altered their tax based on the home court advantage,

having your own officials playing at home your own officials at home is a big advantage the NCAA doesn't consider yep great this is this is gold this is gold this is literally gold I don't know this is better yeah yeah no this is better this is really good are we making new

can we find gold is there still are we still able to we're not keeping up central bank buying and silver my God industrial use is far outstripped demand I mean the supply for five years and if AI needing silver was silver used as the best conductivity material for solar

panels and other things, I expect silver to trend higher over the next five years also. As a gold guy, though, as a gold guy, do you kind of look down on silver though? You're like, come on. No, I like them both because silver is the entry point for a lot of people who can't afford gold to start with. I mean, I was that way in my teenage

years when I started collecting. Yeah, it's a broke boy's gold. How much gold do you have personally? Personally, with a gold person. Yes, you do. Do you keep... But then in my vault,

there we go. Oh, okay. For my business. Wow. Love that. Have we ever thought about as a country putting more gold into Olympic gold medals?

It seems like it's a fairly small percentage. As a country. Yeah. It is. But when you put them around your neck, which I have, they're pretty hefty. Yeah.

Have you ever, have you ever dove off a diving board into your gold? No. but I feel like Scrooge McDuck sometimes playing in the goal. Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you this, Doctor.

Do you think non-conference games should be weighted as strongly as like later in the season conference games? And I ask you that because we're in like the transfer portal air and all these teams are new. And a lot of times at the end of the year you're looking at resumes and you say to yourself like this team beat this other team in November. But like in November they weren't the teams that they are now. And I just, I don't know, I just wanted your thoughts on like. They used to wait it that way. And really, you know, if there was an injury, kind of think. a football when the quarterback for Florida State went down and they dropped them way down,

even though they didn't lose a game. And it was justified. They weren't the same team. He was a great quarterback. But they should consider how a team finishes. Being a fan of mid-majors, it's always frustrated me when mid-major do win some games. Typically on the road, it doesn't, even though it's a quad one win, maybe, they don't get the same credit as the power conference is build up their ratings just loading off on home games. Yeah. One year Syracuse, Indiana did not play a game outside their own arena with their own officials. That's Duke.

Duke does that every year. Duke never plays true road games out of conference. It's a blue honey ice cream. I prefer Hugendos. I don't like Duke because of the blue bunny. Yeah. I don't know. Wow.

Remember, it's a moment on the lips forever on the hips. Yeah, that's true. Right. Can you, who's holding the camera for you? Can we shout them out? My tech guide here. Can you turn it around? I just want to see.

He's doing a great job. Turn around. I don't see you, Jerry. You don't want to see me, man. Oh, go on, Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry!

Yeah! Fuck, yeah. You know, with Jerry, it's like an eclipse. You got to look, you know, in a mirror. Like, like, uh, we're looking with Medusa. You don't want to turn to stone. You got to punch a hole in the box and don't look directly into the eclipse. Jerry, do you, do you have a lot of gold?

I have a little bit. Fuck, yeah. do, Jerry. I have no gold. I have no gold. Should we be worried if we have no gold? I've got the best gold guide in the industry voted six times by our national literary deal. Y'all call me, give me an address, I'll send you the best

gold guy. Then buy from any refuel PNG dealer, but at least get educated. Let me see you the best gold guys in the industry. I would love that. Does he have any SpongeBob gold? No, but I've consoled a kid in my elevator for two hours and we're stuck by talking about SpongeBob. Wait, what?

You were in an elevator stuck for I'll make the football game and I talked SpongeBob to a four-year-old and he quit crying. So I got that on me. You can do it all. I'm a pro player, but only in certain hours. All right. Well, Doc, thank you so much. We appreciate it.

Oh, who is that? Jerry, who is that? Jerry, who is that? I'm in the way. Oh, wonderful. The manager just walked up. I didn't want to know if you could box up my club sandwich, but I said, no. No.

No. Yeah, yeah. You're a clean plate guy. All right, well, thank you so much, doctor. Thank you, Jerry. We appreciate it. And we'll hear it from y'all. Yeah, we're going to do more research and we'll maybe have you back on.

College anytime. On that NCAA issue, fine bomb, will waive, John Caliperi and Dale Brown all agree with me when I've talked to him recently. All right, there we go. Okay. All right. Thank you so much, Doc. Bye, bye. All right.

What a jack of all trade. He's a lot. I'm not going to lie. Jerry's a star. We might have to hire Jerry. I want him. Badly, I want it. Can we see Jerry again?

That guy's got it. The crab video, I still feel like you... I literally put in parentheses if this is real. I'm not sure if it is. I don't know where the confusion's coming from in that, but that's pretty clear. Because you still posted it. Yeah, it's kind of a cool video. But it's...

to even think there was a slight chance this is real, Che. It's insane. Oh, sorry, Danny. How many times we've been under the sand? You really think they're, like, creating their own dorm? The Roman Coliseum. Yeah. Perfectly lit.

Perfectly lit Roman Colise. It has a GoPro on. Who's to say a GoPro doesn't have a little flash bulb in front of it? Look at how the lighting is. It looks like if it would, if the camera had a light in front of it. Also, the crab, like, the very first shot, the crab has three. claws one coming out of its ass yeah yeah i mean arms and legs on crabs regenerate all the time so that that that that to me doesn't seem but this but the biggest problem stephen is now you're

getting in defensive mode where you're like sorry there's so many crab experts there is everybody was coming out of the world i don't know shit about crabs this one made me laugh quite hard i saw this morning i don't know shit about crabs i just have a brain have you guys seen this yet yes you shout it to me you're giggling in the morning yeah all right Okay. Titus? No, I've not seen this. I missed this.

Still fake. Uh-huh. Fake here. Here we go. Okay. Where's he going? So I didn't know these things existed, whatever these tunnels are called. Crab tunnels?

Yeah. It's this fake. This video is fake. I'm sure there's some portion of this that is based on truth. I'm sure that this video is fake for sure. But what are you talking about? you know crab tunnels existed. These aren't...

Here we go. Here it comes. This is not what... Crabbs in the club. Oh, my thing. Oh, man. Crabb dance. We have a crab expert on.

Oh, cool. Aubrey Jane, who is the founder of Turning Tides Ocean Education out of Maine. Aubrey, thank you for joining us. Stephen Che here has some questions for you. you are an official crab expert? So they say, my specialty is actually lobsters, but I dabble in crabs as well. Okay, okay. All right, Stephen, take it away. Okay, if you're a lobster expert, I got a lobster question.

Okay. So if you're purchasing lobster and it's like a manager special and it is expiring that day, If you have it the next day, what are the warnings you would say? That it was bad after you ate it or that you shouldn't eat it? I mean, the day is like best by, but if you eat it after that, can anything bad happen? Yeah, of course. It's bad seafood. Yeah.

Smell is usually a good indicator. Okay. But for the most part, you should be eating. live lobster. You got that, Stephen? I probably wouldn't eat it. How do you get it from the grocery store? Yeah, but there's tanks at the grocery store

something. Oh, okay. That's how it works. All right. All right, so did you... If it's packaged and it's already out of the shell, then it's frozen, then you're probably good to go. Okay. Now, did you see the AI video of the crab and the tunnels? I did. Okay. I did. I've had the pleasure this morning. Okay, so

at what point did you know that was AI? Well, in the first second, if you watch it appropriately, there is a claw coming out of the crab's butt. Yep. And that's not usually how it works. Yep. They can regenerate. Stephen's saying that they can regenerate. Have you thought about that, crab expert?

They sure can, but usually not out of their butt. Okay. Okay. Crab homes. What do they typically look like? Not quite that sprawling, so it depends a lot based on the species. For the most part, they don't share homes. So there's usually only one entrance, one exit.

They're usually L-shaped or V-shaped. And they only go about six to ten feet deep. Okay. There are some species that will create what they call breeding burrows. So in that case, you might get a burrow that has a few crabs in it. Typically the male makes the borough and then one to three females will come in and they use it for that purpose. But usually the crabs are solitary in their boroughs. Okay.

Very interesting. What about their homes? Are they intricate like tunnel systems? No. Usually it's just that one entrance, one exit or one hole that is both the entrance and exit. Another tell is that crabs don't lay eggs like that. Those look like quail eggs. Crabs actually, if you flip them over on their bellies, you'll see this little V shape

toward the bottom of their underside. And that is where they carry their eggs. They're really tiny. There's thousands of them. There's nowhere in a crab that they could push those size eggs out. To your knowledge, do crabs go clubbing, like nightclubs? Do they visit nightclubs often? Not what I'm aware of.

Yeah. What about the crab walking forward? They don't do that either, right? No, they usually don't. There's some like hermit crabs that have an elongated body that can walk forward, but normally they're walking sideways. Now, are we counting Herbert crabs as crabs? Because I don't.

They're a kind of crab. Okay. We call them hermit crabs. Yeah, agree to disagree on that one. The crabs in that video that are like super blue, those exist, right? They do, yeah. I looked at the video, and my guess is that. that the AI was trying to get close to some kind of giant mud crab.

Okay. There are also bright blue land crabs that have a similar coloration, and they're actually known for making some of the biggest furrows, but they don't look quite like that. Okay, so we just, yeah. What's the biggest crab ever? Good question, Dana. Great question, Dana.

They're usually the land crabs. How big are those suckers getting? I don't know if you've ever seen the David Adams. Batonboro documentaries of the massive crabs that kind of swarm on land. I don't like that. They're freaky, for sure. Whoa. But then guys get pretty big.

Okay. Who's winning in a fight, crab or lobster? Depends on the crab, but here in Maine, where I'm at, we do have blue crabs starting to come up the coast, and blue crabs are definitely known to tussle pretty well with lobsters. We have some pretty sadistic science experiments where you put them both in a same tank and the blue crab usually wins. Oh, wow. Do you think it is lame that crabs don't know how to swim? Some do.

They're swimming. Are they swimming or are they floating? So some that are called swimming crabs have hind legs that are adapted to look like little paddles. Okay. And then swim more than your average. crab and actually the blue mud crabs the giant mud crabs that I think that video was trying to approximate that's another tell because it had normal hind legs and those should have those little flappers that will help them swim okay so I respect those crabs I don't respect crabs

that can't swim you live in the ocean for hundreds of thousands of years learn how to swim fair enough have to yeah like you like it'd be like having a pool and being like I actually don't I don't know how to swim what are you talking about you have have to know how to swim. Dr. Aubrey. Dr. Aubrey, can I ask, so Memorial Day just passed, it's unofficially summer.

Is there ever a situation where people will be at a beach, and there will be crab homes underneath? Yes. Okay.

What? Can you maybe, are there any warning signs we should look out for this summer? Yeah, yeah. Usually they will have these tiny little holes if you've ever seen the little dime-sized holes on the beach. There's usually crabs living in there. But for the most part, they can tolerate people walking on them. It's good not to set your towels over them so they can still get out. But typically if they've made those tiny little burrows, they're looking to hide. Okay. I also want to ask one, I am of Asian descent. And a lot of times in Japanese restaurants, you will see imitation crows. as part of like sushi rolls and stuff like that. What are your, what are, what are, what are the crab community's thoughts on that? I.

Please, no, no, no, please. Wait, wait, wait, doctor, please speak for the entire crab community here. Don't use the word I. It's the hot dog of the seafood world. Okay. Okay. That's a good, that's a good analogy. That's good at hot dogs.

Yeah, yeah. And it's usually not crab. It's usually any kind of. Yeah. You saw the extras, a lot of wheat, not a great source of protein. But it is yummy. I eat it. Yeah.

Okay. Do crabs talk to each other? Yeah, of course. How? A lot of things are chemical cues. So they will secrete certain chemicals. Sometimes they secrete them out of their eyes. Any other crabs can sense that and pick up on some of those cues.

Obviously, they don't have a language like you and out. but they certainly do have a way of communicating with each other. That's pretty sick. Dr. Arby, how close are we to decoding that? Not close at all. You want to talk to him, Steve? Yeah. I mean, and this isn't like a, you know, a knock on crab experts,

but any animal experts, I just know, we have to know what they're saying by this, but it's 2026. I just want a roadmap for like What does that mean? What? Like why are we not understanding dogs talking to each other yet? So many people have dogs.

We need to be able to learn these things. We can like decode whales kind of. But like past that we don't have anything. You can't even speak Chinese. You mean like decipher the language? That's fair. Yeah, why haven't we?

Why? Is that an unfair question mark? You're asking me? She's a crab expert, not linguistic, Steve. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to understand what the question is. Like, when we hear dogs barking, why can't, why don't we have a technology to translate that to English is what you're saying? Basically, like the dogging up.

What the doggin? Can you answer that for us? Yeah, I don't really know. What are crabs saying? Yeah, what are? I would like to know. I would like to know what all animals are saying. Fair.

Okay. Oh, you're cutting out a little. Stephen, why don't you just watch Life of Pets? I mean, I want to see this like in real time. I would like to know what my dog's saying to like the neighbor dog. Got it. Okay. Probably like, hey, don't fuck with me.

You see my owner? He's got a nine-eyed. Dr. Aubrey, do you eat all crabs and lobsters? like you're not, are you a scientist? He's like, oh, I also don't eat those things? I do eat seafood. I have not only eat food, I think, especially in the U.S. we have a lot of really smart folks.

We have a lot of restrict regulations to eat these things sustainable. Okay. I love lobster. Good. I love that. All right, I had one last question for you, Dr. Aubrey. T.J., can you pull it up? Would you say this is a convenience store or?

gas station. I don't see gas anywhere, so I have to be a food. Okay, okay. All right, well, thank you. Oh, I had one more question. Why, so when you go to a restaurant, you'll oftentimes see lobster is listed as market price.

Is the lobster market that volatile that they can't just decide a price? Is that a real thing? Because I've always assumed that these restaurants do this, so you just order it and then they can be like, gotcha bitch, that's actually $100. You know? They can, why, what makes lobster so special that it gets the MP on the, on the menu? The lobster price is definitely volatile.

We have certain seasons where more people are going out and fishermen do get different prices for it at the dock. So it's volatile for them as well. But you are certainly being massively upcharged. I knew it. I knew it. While we're on the subject, well, why is, king crab so expensive? Why can't it just be less? That is a great. Good question, Dana. And gas prices,

too. Yeah. It's a lot of different than fishing for lobster. Fair. Okay. All right. Well, Dr. Aubrey, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. You are now our official crab experts. So if we have anything else pop up, we're going to call on you. Absolutely. Thank you so much. much for having me. Okay, our guest is here. So this is because yesterday, we were trying to play the video, but our biggest foe is the Guinness Book of World Records. Our biggest foe is our biggest foe.

Yeah, TJ is our biggest foe. So we're like, you know what? Josh hit him up and we're like, hey, why don't we just have Big John on the show? Hey, here he is. Big John. Welcome. How are we doing? I'm all good.

Thank you. Thank you for having. me on this. I'd like to be speaking to you. It's just starting the rain here in London, so a good trial to have a chat. Yes. Congratulations on the Guinness Book of World Records. It's incredible performance. How did you do it? Listen, they invited me, and I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know what I was going to have to do, and I did it cold, and they said, name as many dishes as you can in 30 seconds from a Chinese takeaway menu. So I was quite pleased because I got 40.

I was very pleased with that effort. It will be beaten, and I hope it gets beaten. But now I know what the task is I can try and beating myself as well. So bring it on, bring all comers on. After you did this feat, did you think of any dishes that you forgot? I had loads lined up. Charsoot dishes, Cesson dishes, some fish dishes. So there was plenty more left in the tank, but I run out of time, unfortunately.

it's not as easy as it seems and I know a lot of people in England now have been trying it like after dinner and when they're going for a walk and everyone says it's tougher than it sounds so you know give it a go see how many you get in 30 seconds I'm sure people will beat it

but there'll be a lot that won't so it's worth a try you did it without performance enhancement yeah I didn't know what I was going to have to do no autism I'm not I'm not all the ticket sometimes so perhaps help me. And I do know my

Chinese dishes. So I was just envisaging my plate as I was talking. And the plate next to it and the third plate because sometimes when I have Chinese, I have two or three plates. So it wasn't that tricky. So you have an extensive experience firsthand with all

of the dishes you regurgitated and recited. Every dish I spoke about I've enjoyed immensely over the years. That's the feed itself. Are you versatile? Is it just the Chinese dishes? Is it They asked you some other type of food? I'm predominantly known for Chinese food, English Chinese food.

So, you know, I have quite a bit of Indian food every now and again as well. Sorry, it's going on in my house. Someone's screaming for some reason. I don't know what it is. Must be a flyer. But yeah, I'm known for Chinese food dishes. So it was quite, it was easy but not easy if you're not. I mean, I don't know if that makes sense.

It was just a bit of pressure as well when people are looking at you when the lady was there from the Guinness World Records, she was all official. So I'm just pleased to have done it, and it was a lot of fun. And that's what it's all about having a bit of fun. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Well, we weren't able to watch the clip due to copyright. What was the first dish you said when you started rattling these off? What was the first dish I said, Charlotte? I can't remember. Was it a plane? Probably a chicken charming or a plain charming. Okay. And is that your favorite dish?

I always start off any order with charming. And then I'm going to the rice dishes, then the pork balls or chicken balls and then the sweet and sour dishes. So it's quite a rhythm. It's quite a rhythm to it. You have to make sure you get it in the right order. Yeah.

Do you want to set the Yak World record? Because you have the Guinness Book World Record. The Yack World Records is at zero right now. But if you'd like to, I'd love to go again for 30 seconds. You're going to go again. You're going to put me on the spot. Should we pick one of us at random to set the bar to see if he can beat it? Yeah, okay.

All right. Who should we pick for the Chinese? Let's go. Stephen Che. So Stephen Che will go first And then Big John You'll go second And we'll see

I've got beat his amount Yeah Yeah yeah So Stephen Chee you got You got 30 seconds Are you ready? Yeah we Hold on we're

We don't have this timer So I can just do it on my phone No I'll do it I got it He's got a cheat He's gonna cheat He's gonna cheat He's gonna cheat

Okay Stephen I'll say ready set go And I'll start the timer Okay This is any menu on that Any any menu Any men Any Chinese menu?

All right. All right. And is someone counting his list? Can someone... Wyatt's got it. Keep up. John, what do you think of your opponent? No comment.

Okay, nice. Good job. Here we go. All right, ready, Stephen? Yes. Three, two, one, go. Chicken and broccoli. Beef and broccoli.

Chicken egg food, young. General sauce chicken. Seshwan chicken. Setschwan beef. Kung Pow chicken. Kongpau shrimp General So's shrimp Crabe Rangoons

Lowmane beef loamane Fried rice, pork fried rice chicken fried rice chicken dumplings, pork dumplings Um Hot and sour soup What do you get there? 18 18

Not bad Pretty good F formidable fog Fats Felt for a bit of roll and then he had a few little urs and a little ums but um there's good effort well done he went on a rice run there that i saw i noticed that yeah he got hot on race but my my record was 40 so i'm gonna try and beat that so just go all right okay i'm gonna count you down and then we can go we can we can review

after to see the exact number but uh all right you ready i'm ready all right three two one go plain charming chicken charming chicken charming special fried rice egg fried rice chicken fried rice Sweet and sour chicken balls. Sweet and sour prawn balls. Sweet and sour pork bowl, Hong Kong style. Sweets and pork on Kong style. Shreddy, chili beef, beef in black bean, chicken in black bean,

prawn in black bean, pork in black bean, spicy pork, spicy chicken, spicy lamb, spicy beef. Mongolian beef, Mongolian lamb, Mongolian chicken, chicken. Crispia and MacDuck, roast duck Chinese style, roast chicken Chinese style, rose pork pork chit, salt and chili chips, salt and chili chicken balls. Mixed horses. Sesame prawn on toast, pancake rolls, pork pancake rolls.

Time. What do you get? At 36? 36. Wow. I want to count back. It was more than 36. I want to count back.

How often are you going to eat Chinese takeout? Probably three or four times a week. Okay. So, yeah. And when did you start? When I was about nine years of age, but I'm a big cat at a moment. I've lost six stone, 36 kilos. So when I go to the Chinese lately, I'm just eating roast meats.

So I'm just eating roast chicken, roast beef. roast duck, so I'm laying off all the carbs. So it's gone a bit hard lately because I'm not eating what I normally do. But it's still fun. There's a lot you can eat in a Chinese restaurant and take away and stay healthier. So it's been good. Now that you've conquered saying the Chinese orders fast, is there another cuisine that you're going to try to spout off?

Listen, we're from East London here, and we have a traditional dish called pie mash, pie mash and liquor. But there's only about four things you can say from that. But that'll be pretty quick. Fishing chips, I suppose you've got all different types of fish and chips as well. We're keeping it English style now. But roast dinners as well. But I'll stick to the Chinese.

I'm good at the Chinese. So I'll stick to what I'm good at. Wait, so how much weight did you lose? I've lost 36 kilos so far. And I've got about another. It's got to be like 70 pounds. I don't know how much that is. So have you thought about like maybe doing a deal with the Chinese takeouts?

Like, look at me. I eat it every day. and I lose all this weight. You could be Chinese Jared. Listen, I'm working with Eddie All. You know, Eddie All, the former world strongest man. Yeah. He's put me on the carnivore diet,

and he said, look, when you got to the Chinese, just eat the roast meat dishes. And I'm eating a lot of beef and black bean and chicken in black bean as well. So it's a lot of protein I'm eating without the carbs. So it's working. It's working for me so far. Okay. Wait, what soccer team do you root for?

Well, West Ham United are our local team. I don't really support them, but they're our local team and one of my friends, sons plays for them. One of my friends coaches them, to be honest, but they just got relegated

from the Premier League, so we'll keep it quiet at the moment. Are you going to be in on the World Cup? Are you excited for it? Yeah, yeah. We all get up for the World Cup here in England. Obviously, it's over there in America. You'll be getting up for it in a big way.

So whether we can win it or not is another thing. There's a lot of teams in it this year, a lot of hot temperatures and humidity, which will affect the English players. But we'll give it a good go, and as we say in England is coming home. We always think we're going to win it every year. Yeah.

Yeah. This year would be no different. What's the deal with you guys is not having an air conditioning? Every time, like once a year they'll be like, oh, there's a heat wave in London. 60 degrees and then 300 people die. Yeah, it's like 78 degrees and they can't fucking handle it. What's up with that? Listen, we're English.

We like to moan. We moan when it's raining. We moan when it's sunny. We moan about everything. So if we didn't have things to moan the bat, we wouldn't be the same. So let us keep on moaning. How did you feel about Arsenal losing the Champions League? Listen, I like Arsenal.

I've been watching quite a few times as a young boy. I think PSG were probably the better football team. But when you lose on penalty kicks, it's always tough. And I'd always like to see an English team win other than a French team. But credits of PSG, they're a great side. And I think Arsenal will come again. I really do. Yeah.

Well, probably not. I mean, Champions of Europe, they'll never say that. They don't do that. They'll never see that. Who's your English teams? We don't have one. We watch real football. American football.

Yeah. Has it caught on for you? Because, I mean, we're just, Roger Goodell, our commissioner, is just throwing a million games to you guys now. Listen, I'm a big rugby man. We don't need to wear helmets and an armor to play a contact sport over here in England. So I'll leave the American football to you guys. It's a great spectacle to watch, but I'm a big rugby fan through and through.

Silly little spectacle. I like that. You're a man's man. Exactly. Exactly. You've got to be as big as mine. You've got to be a man's man. So I've got no other choice.

I love it. I love it. Well, Big John, you're the man. And if you're ever in the States, come on through. We'd love to have you come by. I was over there. It was over there. Was it last year or a year before when we see large and we come over to New York.

Oh, yeah. We love America. We was in Los Angeles last year as well. I'm hoping to get back this year. So if I'm back, I'll come and say hello. I love that. Yeah, and congrats again. That was, uh, it was one of the greatest performances I've ever seen of anyone.

It's all a bit of fun. It's all a bit of fun. It's all it is. There's not enough fun in the world at the minute. We need to make people laugh again and know that's smiled. So get your Chinese dishes in and beat 40. All right. That's the task.

I love it. I love it. Well, thank you so much, Big John. Oh, yeah. Thank you. A boss. Right. Because you're in America.

I'll give you a proper Yee Bosch. Yeah. Cowboy I don't like that Thanks big John Appreciate it All right Thank you very much

See you Bye Oh what a legend I gave you Huntington Yes Okay Huntington West Virginia

You just gave him The key of the city To Huntington They just gave it to me I gave it to a dude At the bar I didn't do shit You just handed it

To a random guy at the bar He did a rough and rowdy In Huntington The mayor just walked up And he's like Here's a key to the city I'm like Okay

Was it just like a key Yeah A little key? No, it's a big key. Probably actually works, too. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, and then Nick just gave it to a random guy.

So some guy in Chicago just has a key to the Huntington. Yeah. That guy should, he should give it to someone else. A trickle down? That should be a traveling key. I like that. Yeah. A friendship key.

Biz got the key to wheeling when we were with him. What did we get? Well, he was the nailer. We didn't get shit. We got the. Yeah. You guys didn't get the wheeling? I don't have a key.

The mayor just talked shit on us instead. Yeah, he didn't like that's instead of, yeah. It's pretty cool to get a key. I think it's kind of like the memorabil I have. You don't want a key to like New York. No. You should start collecting keys. I should.

I think I have one from, I think I have like Aurora. I want the key. How are they present? They're always in key. Are they thrown on like a plaque? Toledo one is like official. It's glass and it's in the case. It's a case.

Yeah. The hunting in one was literally just he handed me. Yeah. I think it was the key to his house. I put it on my carabiner walking around. It was pulling my pants down. That's why I gave it to that guy. It was bothering me.

Kyle, pick a city you can have the key to the city too. That I think is realistic. Yeah. Not like Dubuque, Iowa, but if there's a... Oh, Diamond Joe's... East Dubuque across the river, maybe that. Smaller Dubuque. Great Riverboat Casino and Dubu.

I'm interested in that city. Dude. So I'm not going to go as far as say it's a fun city. I was looking at it on the map. They have two casinos on the river. Yeah. One is on like an island. I went on an absolute blackjack eater when I was like 22, no, 21 in Dubuque, Iowa.

Could we get a mayor on the line and get Kyle Key? Oh, by the way, Kyle, I got bad news for you. Dubuque is out. How can Dubuque be out? How can they just be? They said firm no? Definitively out. Mayor kind of, what?

Mayor was like, oh, yeah, I'll come on next week, and this is next week, this week. And then he sent Josh an email being like, sorry, you can't make it work with my schedule, which was a kind way of saying, I don't want to be associated. So we're out on Dubu. Are we an anti-Dubuque show? We're anti-Dibuke. Well, who's Dubuque's rival? Good question. Let's get them.

Yes. Probably Waterloo. Let's see a map. Clinton. Yeah, let's see who they're in. Right on the room. Were we rebuking Dubuke? Clinton.

Yes. Oh, Clinton. I'd love to hook up with those crazies in Clinton, Iowa. Are they nuts? They're good people. They used to have a Cubs. A single-layer rookie ball. East Dubuque, maybe?

Is that still? East Dubuque, I think. Oh, that's across the river. No, I think we go with East Dubuque. It's tiny, though. That's in Illinois, right? We got to get. But imagine the shine, then Dubuque would be sick.

All right. Dang, I feel those range movies. That's right there. Durango sounds cool. Balltown. Oh, oh. Dude, if you get the key to the city of Balltown? Balltown's not even a city.

No, click on Bulltown. Oh, click on Balltown. Balltown or Dickieville? Balltown and Dickieville. Balltown. Balltown. Dude, Balltown. It's Balltown.

We have a very special guest. No way. It is the mayor of Balltown. No way. No way. Hi. Hi. Ms. Mayor, thank you so much for joining us.

Yeah, you're welcome. Thanks for having me on. So how many people live in Balltown? As of the 2020 census, it was 79, but we've had a few people move out. Oh, no. So we're under 80, definitely under 80. Okay. When you ran for mayor, how much did you win by votes?

Will you please repeat that? How many votes did you win by when you ran for mayor? I wouldn't necessarily say I ran. Oh. You walked? I was a right to be a trend. Oh. The past, like, the past few times that I ran, I ran unopposed.

So. Oh, congratulations. Congratulations. Do you? Go ahead. You guys want to move to Balltown? There's a couple houses for sale. Do you even live there?

Do you live there? Mm-hmm. Okay. What is in Balltown? What's the number one thing if we come to Balltown, which we might do? What would we do? Yeah. So actually, we have an Iowa's oldest bar and restaurant here.

Okay. It's called Bradback Country Dining. There you go. Oh, yeah. They've been operating since 1852. It's like good material. It's goodness. Six or seventh generation for, for owners.

So. And they had two fires back to back years? Was it the same fire? Yeah, what was it? How did they, did they not put out the first one? So the first one was, it was a gas leak down underneath and a cistern underneath the kitchen. Oh, no. And they got nobody was first.

that one was devastating and the second one I believe it was electrical but don't quote me on that but again devastating to our community oh that's a nice house

for sale in Balltown you look at the Balltown that's a good price on that do you guys have a key to the city that's what was so this is how this all happened I don't know if Josh

was able to give you any of the context Kyle here we want to get him a key to a city we were thinking Dubuque and then Dubuke rebuked us

and did not come on. Good wordplay. Thank you. And then we're like, let's find a rival to Dubuque. We looked at the map. We saw Balltown. We're like, we need Balltown. Do you have any type of key that you give out to special people?

We would be willing to come to Balltown. I would do volunteer work. I would labor. I would toil for you. I would work a community event. You know, we might take you up in that. We do sweep our streets every spring to make our community look nice. and but we don't have an official key to the city

but let me talk to my council because we could probably make that happen Kyle you would be the first and only key holder for Balltown. Balltown. Yeah, that's the, yeah, lofty goal, but I'd also be willing to fund the making of the key to the city

if you guys made the key to the city for Kyle. We could make it happen. Okay. This is Dubuque would never. No. How many keys do I need made here? Just one. Just one. Just Kyle, yeah.

Just making sure. Yeah. Don't lose it. Balltown. Very. I assume none of you guys have been here before. No. Not to Balltown.

No, I've been to Dickieville. You've heard of the standing joke there? No. No, what joke would there possibly be? Balltown is a hair away from Dickieville. Nice. That's some good. regional humor.

Yeah, we're like, we're worth, like a little less than four hours away from Balltown. We could get in it. We just pop on over. You're not very far. Yeah. We get in there easily. So we've had some interesting things happen in Balltown as far as, so, especially with

our name Balltown, but we were, we were contacted by Manscaped. Okay. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Those are. Four point. So here, they wanted to have their international manscape.

Day. And this was back in 2020, and everything was going according to plan, and then all of a sudden COVID hit. Oh, and so we, they wanted to host International Manscape Day. So, like, all these dudes. And it fell through because of COVID. All these, like, unkempt men would go down to Balltown and trim. Well, that's for you.

Yeah. For the whole family. We never reached back out to us. We would be. be open for that again. And then, of course, you guys are more than welcome to come. We've done stuff with Manscape before.

We could probably revive this. If we did a live yak from Balltown, sponsored. Yeah. Well, Brandon's never shaved his pubs. Oh, that's right. In front of the mayor. Oh, my God. What the hell?

Ceremonial first shave. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Your first shave in Balltown? No, come on, guys. What if we cycle from Dickieville to Balltown? And then he shaves his pubs at the end. We did a, we did a, we did a, we're just getting a key to the cities.

All we're doing. Does the, wait, does the, does the rag bar go through Balltown? The, the bicycle race? Yeah. They have not been through Baltimore yet. Okay. I had a council member that was actually trying to, trying to arrange it for this year because they're, they're ending in Dubuque. Okay.

But it, it fell through. So we should do our own bike race. It's sort of, right by sort of, I'm a food inspector for the state. and it's one of those things that's a really, really busy time for me because we inspect all the food stands on ragri. Right. And do all of you know what ragbray is? No.

I don't. I might be the only one. I do. Oh, yeah. They basically do a race or a bicycle race across Iowa. And they all get drunk every day. Seems dangerous. My father-in-law.

I'm on the eastern side. I'll be honest. I don't know what it's for. I just don't know. The only reason I know it is my father-in-law did it and he got drunk and he fell off his bike. I'm sure that broke all his ribs. Oh my God. Stop doing that. Stop doing the right.

I'm not doing the drunken bike. Is it for a cause, mayor? Is it just for fun? It's not for a cause. It's just registered Daniel a great break right at California. Yeah. It's just incredible. It's been going. Oh, goodness. I think I think they're on their 51st, 50 second year of having it. When is

it? So, when is it start? Oh, goodness. July. We might have to. It's always like. Like the end of July. We might have to send someone. That might be a Tate Lucas situation. Oh, yeah.

Have Mincy. That was pretty good. You can make like an all in one kind of visit as far as going to Dickieville, coming to Balltown during Ragbride. That would be fun. You could ride your bike, fall off your bike, get drunk. I don't know. Apparently it happens.

So. Deutsch. Okay. Oh, yeah, 37 days. There we go. All right. So we got some stuff to work on Ms. Mayor, but I think we're going to try to get to Balltown.

Yes. Yeah, we have to. You let me know. Okay. What is it? Like, what's the biggest thing going on in Balltown that we can come out for us, like to get more bang for our buck?

We don't really have many big things happen in Balltown. Like, again, we're talking to the town of less than 80 people. I said, again, right box country dining. We also have a feed store. Do we have any roofball? Can we do roof? Yeah. Yeah.

It's nothing but roof. Do you have? Yeah. Oh, this is beautiful. So the feed store is on the left side. The restaurant. is on the right side. It's owned by brothers. So Mike right back and somebody

right back on the restaurant and skip right back owns the feed store to the left there, the big game. Okay. This Balltown Road? Oh, that's cute. Yeah, and then there's a wonderful baseball behind the back. What is that? What did we got ahead of us?

That could be a roof board. We're known for our overlook. Oh, look at this. That's beautiful. Wow. Wow. Wait, what did you say about baseball? Oh, yeah.

So my husband, the baseball field is actually owned by Bright Box Country Diding, but my husband takes care of the field. Okay. And it's a beautiful field, beautiful. What's it called? We should play. It's just a bright back field. Okay. Yeah.

We got to do this. Go play a game. I'm starting to like put things on your agenda here when you come. That's fine. We have to play ball. We have to play ball. We have to play 16-inch softball ball down. We can totally make that happen.

Okay. Well, Ms. Mayor, thank you so much for joining us. It's very productive. And let's stay in touch. Josh has your contact info. We're going to get something planned. Perfect. Thank you so much. Have a great day, okay? All right. See you. This is awesome. Yeah, bye.

I want to do a live yak from Balltown. Live from Balltown. TJ? Oh. Hello. Here he is. It is the mayor of Dubuque, Iowa. Wow. We got a.

Mr. Mayor. We got him. Oh, my. You've joined us. We got to figure. this out because we've had a little bit of a storied past with you without you even knowing. I know

it. Okay, you do know it. So it's Brad Kavanaugh, right? It's Brad Kavanaugh, yeah. Okay, so... I just meet you guys. Good mayor. Good to meet you. Good mayor. Mayor name. So, Mr. Mayor, what have you heard because it maybe we've had a little loss in translation? Oh my gosh. Yeah, we had a bit of a

miscommunication. Yeah, because we hated your fucking guts. We hated your fucking guts for a while there. You got to tell me what the emergency was. that required me to pull away from everything I was doing so I could talk to you about this key to the city. I mean, this was... Yeah.

I mean, you just answered your question. Mr. Mayor, when you put it that way, I... I mean, it was seriously, all kinds of things going on. I had meetings in Washington, D.C. We had a major storm roll through, and I was just like, everybody, no, no, it's not important. We got to talk to these guys about this key.

Yes. We got to figure this out. So what happened was we, Kyle here, we're trying to get him as many keys to cities in Iowa as possible. And we started with Dubuque, which I've been to Dubuque. Is Diamond Joe still? Oh, yeah. Love Diamond Joe's.

I went on the hottest blackjack tear of my life in 2006 in Diamond Joe's. Nice. So we're like, hey, let's start with Dubuque. We had our Booker Josh reach out to you. I think you were busy. And then I think the follow up was you're permanently busy. And then we said, fuck this guy. We're never going to Dubuque.

And then we found Balltown, Balltown, Iowa. We talked to that mayor. She came on right away. Yeah, she's great. And she was also in Washington, D.C. But she came on right away. She promises a key to the city. So we're said, now it's on.

Now we're Balltown boys. And Dubuque will never talk to Dubuke again. And then I think that's where you came in, where you emailed Josh. You're like, hey, I'm getting word that the guys are just bashing me. What's up with this? I wasn't just getting word. I mean, all the trolls came out. I got trolled like crazy.

And then I got emails. I mean, you would have thought that I canceled the Fourth of July. People were like, people were mad at me. And I'm like, I don't even know what I did here. Because, you know, and here's where we all, here's where it went wrong. And I'll take this one. I should have been more clear with Josh when I emailed them back and said, hey, it's not going to work today again.

Yes. Because later that day, I got back to him. and said, all right, these meetings are over. What can we do? And the funny part is, I never travel that long. This was like a really weird stretch. So, sorry it happened during that time, guys. I didn't realize there would be an emergency that I'd have to deal with.

Yeah, so, all right, so. Wait, are we accepting the apology? Alex, I'm supposed to be apologizing? You just said, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're debating on whether to forgive you or not. Yeah, such an asshole. I'll debate the same on my end. Okay, all right.

All right, so let's talk amongst ourselves real quick. We just talk so much. Let's see. I feel like we're bad for a little. First of all, he's got a good name. Great. Yes. Good looking guy.

Good looking guy. Thanks. Whoa. Hey, oh. Excuse me, Mr. Mayor. We're having a sidebar. Give us a sec. We're having a sidebar.

Excuse me. Good name. We do love Balltown. Can we love both? What is the relationship between Balltown and Dubu? We say, we decided it was a rivalry. Is it actually a rivalry? Balltown has about, what, 48 people?

Yeah, 79 people. The point was to get him as many keys as possible so we can get Balltown and Dubu. They don't have to handle. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Well, the original point was for me to get a desirable but somewhat attainable mid-sized city that I respect. And it's a river city.

It's a river city. Mm-hmm. All right. So I think we go back to the mayor. In the Ohio. And we say, we accept your apology as long as it comes with a key to the city. Is that overplaying our hand? No, because I don't think we can strong on for the key.

It has to be given. That feels like a robbery. Okay. Maybe we talk a little bit more before we get to go to the key. You know what? All right. Let's anchor the negotiation. Let's say we accept your apology.

I'm kind of on the mayor side. We now, we would, we would, we'll accept your apology if you let us sleep in your house for one night. And then when he says no to that, we'll be like, all right, we'll just do a key to the city. Fair. That's fair. Okay. Okay. All right.

All right. All right. Nice to see you. We've accepted your apology under one condition. We would, all 10 of us would like to. to sleep in your house for one night. Okay. Oh, fuck.

Do you accept? You could really put us in a weird spot. Oh, fuck. I'm stuck in the mayor. From the other side first. I really do enjoy that position. Yeah. So, so do you accept?

It's funny to bring this up because as I thought of it through, how this conversation would go. And I was thinking, all right, you know, these guys. really like Dubuque. I heard your comments about the Diamond Joe. We actually have two casinos. Okay. Nice. So the Qasinos also a great place to hang out. You know, there's it, you got all kinds of things that you guys talk about. And

I realized that I've got something to offer you that I think would be a pretty great opportunity to really actually earn a key to the city, KB. Go on. So you guys have been to the field of dreams? No. I haven't been there, but well aware.

of it? Very well aware. You're well aware? Yes. All right. So this is the funny part about, you know, Balltown. And I also noticed that you've taken a liking to Dickieville. Yeah. Which is across the river. Yep. So, but, you know, Balltown and Dubuque, we're all in Dubuque County. And one of the things that is really important to us right now is the Field of Dreams. It's about 20 minutes from my house. And the one we're saying at? We've got Major League Baseball coming back. Okay. From to the Field of Dreams this year. And there is a new stadium that's being built there, a permanent stadium that will be there for Major League Baseball, Minor League Ball, college ball, some high school teams are going to be playing on it.

And we need to raise some money. This is one of the things we need to do. Okay. Because the whole idea of the field of dreams is that it's a whole complex now. It's not just a movie site. It's still there. It's super cool, by the way. But it's not just a movie site.

It's a place where there's over 700 youth baseball teams coming there this year to play tournaments. And people just fall in the... love with this place when they get there. So we know how important it is. It's a huge thing for our region. But we need to make sure there's a there's a capital campaign to raise some money for this. And to do that to be able to sustain this for a long time because it's just it's that special. So I was thinking I like where your head's going because I like the idea you guys come in here. I think that's a good plan. So I think we should do that. I think you should come here. I think you should have the show here. We could raise some money for the field of dreams.

You tell me how much you think you could raise and we'll see if we can work out of key to the city. You tell us how much I don't think we can raise. Nice. You tell us. What are you thinking? Well, I mean, we need we still need some millions. Million. I was thinking like 10K.

We're on DeBettendorf. Also a great town, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. All of them. All right. What could we, okay. Could we play on the field of dream?

Could I play shortstop? could you play shortstop on the field of dreams for one of the teams for one of the teams one of the high school teams oh just no no no just just just just can we play can we play ball can we have a catch can we play on the field of we can absolutely oh my gosh we will have a catch together on the field of dreams oh my absolutely okay all right so i think all right so we can i'll throw something else in i will personally drive you guys there we go to ball town and dickyville can i have oh my god that's kind of a lot

Yeah, I have a catch with my dad on the field of dreams. Of course. No, he's dead. Well, that's the point. Oh, it's a ghost. It's a ghost state. That is the field of dream. That's how it works.

You feel all those great ghosts when you get there. Yeah. You just played yourself, dude. Your dad might be there. And no one felt bad. That'd be awesome. Okay. I think, so I think what we'll do is we got a plan to come out.

I will donate some money. And we will also do link drive. for donations on the act and we'll do a live show maybe have a catch we'll go to ball town we'll stay at your house and then we'll have a key to the city for Kyle and I think that would be

I think that would be a good happy ending everybody wins yeah I think it sounds like we're gonna have a great time you guys quick wait wait um kind of we kind of got buried we're staying at yours do you guys really want to stay at my house yeah

yes yes yeah listen we're even seen my house But listen, we're not crazy. Like, we're not going to, we don't need to sleep in your bed. We could just make, we could maybe tent in the backyard. We do a little tent. Yeah, I mean, tents work, whatever works.

Yeah. If you guys really need a place to stay, like if you're hard up for a place to stay, my house is always open to you. Wow. Wow. It's good. Having like a sleepover at the mayor's house. That's big.

That sounds like a kid's book. Are we overextending ourselves? This is like, yes. We're going to have to be in Iowa for a full week now. We've got to go to Bill town. We've got to go Dickieville. We gotta go to his house. So what?

No place I'd rather be. Where, yeah. Get to go. Brin, feel of dreams? Get to. I'm just, I'm just throwing out scenarios, guys.

What if we did a Balltown Roof Ball Ball Tournament for money or something? Yeah. What if we did that's in Balltown? No, we're going to do a tour. We'll do it all. No problem with you guys hanging out in Balltown. I'll take you there.

Let's go to Balltown. Brin, I'm sure there's an office. You could probably get a passport down there if you wanted. Yeah. All right. I think we have a deal. I think we have a deal. We have the structure of a deal.

But we have to be able to play on the field of dreams. Yeah, we'll play some catch. All right. We'll raise some money. It'll be for a good cause. And, uh, yeah, all right. Mr. Mayor, you got yourself a deal. I like this.

Yeah, I like this a lot. This is great. You've been, uh... He's really good. Yeah, he's a good mayor. And, and listen, we'll, I'll go even one further. I would like to apologize in behalf of this show. Yeah.

For saying fuck to Buk and fuck the mayor and we fucking hate him and all that shit. You're the one that basically. said it. Yeah, yeah. All of us would like to apologize. Yeah. We didn't say that. We just kind of were hot-tempered guys, you know, we've got some battalions in this office. You know, it's great. Yeah. You're almost single-handedly.

Kind of his life. It's often nice, you guys. Yeah. But no, you're the man. Of course. Yeah. And apology accepted. All right. Thank you. I'll make sure that I'll keep Josh on speed down from now on. So if there's an emergency like this again, we can deal with this much more quickly. I love it. All right. And so we'll, we'll start coordinating our

schedule and we'll figure it out and we'll come we're gonna come and do like a couple days in Iowa it would be fun oh we last yeah all right thank you so much mr mayor you're the best absolutely guys all right you're the best all right love you guys see you love you too mr mayor oh man he's a damn good mayor he he hated his guts hated him he called in asked for millions of dollars and by the time you hung up you're like i love this guy yeah well i mean we're gonna get to play catch who do we think this is Give us a guess. Is this, let's play

Chopardy on it. Somebody that we've talked about in the last week. Oh. Week? Yeah, last week. Have we talked glowingly or? Yeah, glowingly.

Okay. Talked about them last. What did you like? We're talking about the weather guys. Did you have a weather guy you liked? Oh, the immortal guy who may have died. Oh. No way.

He just walked away from his story. Oh, damn. Is it him? What if he just died. It's him? He's alive. He walked away one second again. That's so perfect.

What's his name again? Leo. Immortal. Leo. No way. My God. Massive relief that he's alive. Yes.

Of course he is, I guess. Leo! Hey! Leo! Can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear you good. Leo, we are so relieved to know that you are alive. Me too.

Okay. So do you know that we were alive? were talking about you the other day and then we looked at your TikTok and you had not updated it for like two years? Well, yeah, I got busy writing the book and I'm all set up to sell the books and the, well, the books are for sale online on Amazon. Okay. What's the name of the book? Well, I've got it right. I'll show it to you if I can point this cell phone at it. It's de-healthy, never get old. Yes. How I live in. without aging.

Wow. Oh, my goodness. So what is the D? This is the substance that I use. It's common in many pharmacies or, you know, it's not in prescription, D-H-E-A. Oh, that explains the title. Yeah. I see.

And this book also includes my cure for the common cold, by the way. Wait a minute. You have a cure for the common cold? Yeah, it's a preventative. It's just something you do. It's very simple. It's something you do when you feel the first little soreness in your throat, a little catch in your throat.

I'd gargle with salt water, and then I suck on a zinc lozenge, lozange like Zicam or one of those. And the combination of the two, the saltwater draws the viruses out of your tissues of your throat, and you spit it out, and then you suck on the lozance and the zinc and the lozenges. blocks the receptors so the viruses can't get back into your tissues. I'll be. And I've done that, you know, two or three times if I was starting to feel a scratchy throat. My ex-wife and I actually both had symptoms simultaneously on a Saturday night,

and so we both used my remedy. It was COVID. Okay. And we both beat COVID by the next morning. After doing that three or four times, it got rid of the virus. The details of that are on some of my reels on, you know, on Instagram. Leo's Immortal Tales, you know, on TikTok. Oh, okay.

Do you do a lot of trial and error? experimentation? Well, I was doing that for years. You know, every doctor will tell you if you're feeling sick to gargled saltwater. And then even now these zinc lozenges on TV are advertising that they can shorten a cold. They're allowed to do, they're allowed to say that by the FDA. But my approach, it not only shortens the cold, it stops it dead, before it really gets started. Wow. Now, Leo, how old are you now? Let me check.

78, I think. Wow. That's almost as old as Trump. Yeah, do you still have the pool? Yeah, keep going. Yeah, I want to talk. Yeah, I got the pool out back. I renewed it.

I totally redid my patio, and I redid the pool and hot tub. the estimate for that was $15,000, but I did it with my own hands for about $1,500. Why? Because I'm still very vigorous. I can do, you know, I can climb ladders, trim trees. I can do heavy labor for hours at a time. Damn. Leo.

Do you still do the, do you put yourself on a leash in the pool? Oh, yeah. It's, you know, if I'm tethered to the shed, I can swim for miles. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. It's incredible.

This is one of my hats that I'm famous for. I'll get rid of that. No, no. We like it. We like that hat. That hat was cool. Leo, what are some experiments you've done that haven't quite worked out? Well, I can't think of any failures.

Well, there's one thing I did that I regret, but I don't know if I should talk about it on TV. Oh. Well, we're not on TV. Okay. Yeah, we're on your TV. Yeah, we're not on TV. Well, you know, a lot of men in this country have prostate problems.

Okay. And I developed prostate problems about 25 years ago before I, well, anyway, it had nothing to do with the, you know, with a pill that I've been taking, the DHA. And so they put me on avidart, which is a prostate remedy. Now, there I had to experiment because the avidarta alone wasn't enough to cure the, you know, the urges and the frequency and all that. So I also take super beta prostate, which is advertised on TV, and the two of those work for me. But if I quit either one of them, I would be having prostate trouble. But that's something for, you know, it doesn't usually come on until like age 60 or something. Yeah.

But I made a mistake because I doubled up on the avidart, and it didn't help. And they say avidart is due tasteride. It's a fixed dose, and it doesn't do any good to increase the dose after you take one milligram a day or something. But I tried doubling it, and the side effect of that, this is very embarrassing, is to reduce the amount of semen. Oh. Yeah. I can't shoot a big load at him. Yeah.

Yeah, I knew what you meant. Damn. Now, Leo, you're a Conan the Barbarian guy, correct? You wrote some Conan books? I'll show you my Conan books. Let's see. I got to point this up. Well, here.

Well, first. Well, is he better? than he man. Leo, is that you in the corner in the picture? Well, you're my boudoir picture. Yeah, what? That's years ago, but I'm still looking at it. Oh, what?

Goodbye. Oh, Matt. Caught my eye. Leo, you look like a stud. Unbelievable. Well, I'm obviously very horny. That was back in your big load day, Dale, right? Yeah, that was back in the days.

Yeah. You see, here's my Conan books. Here are all the paperbacks. And some of these books have my stories, my fantasy and science fiction stories in them. Okay. Oh, let's see. There's a book about Conan. This is my first wife of 50 years when she was a little girl.

Oh, okay. That's a picture on half of her. Okay. And here's some of my trophies or whatever you want to call them up here. Toys. This is a final of the owner. How do you think Conan compares to He-Man, Leo?

Well, I'm going to probably have to go see that movie. He-Man was my kids, my son's generation, you know? It was a cartoon and I wasn't really watching it a lot. Sorry, I'm not looking at the camera here. That's okay. But, you know, it looks to me like the production on the He-Man movie is pretty good. Definitely going to go and see it. Yeah.

That's very good. What is it, what is it day in the life of Leo the immortal look like? Are you just getting up and being active all day? Like how are you doing this? How are you beating Father Time? Well, I'm retired, so I don't have to work for a living, but I'm writing books. Right now I'm here's my workplace. I'm working on a book right now, and I've got it set up so that I can see the maps I need.

and this is the book I most recently wrote a few years back, Lucitania Lost, and here's the ship model I built. Whoa. Wow. To promote the book. Golly. It's battle damaged, but you can see in the mirror there's the pre-war side of it. Oh, pretty interesting.

That's cool. And I made it so it, it sinks real. I don't know if it still works. Let's see. See, it goes down with a list. Oh. Oh, nice. Lucidanean actually sank in 1915 when it was torpedoed by this submarine U-20 in World War I.

Wow. That's incredible. Leo, where are you located? I'm in between San Francisco and L.A. near Pizmo Beach in California. Cool. And do you weightlift, Leo? I'm trying to be more like you in terms of living forever. Well, I was never a lifter.

I was never for I mean rather skinny and so my sport has been frisbee. Yeah. I was a, well, here's my, here's my belt buckle from the 19-70s. Thank you. Yep. Yep. Sure is. Okay.

I can't. To the left. We got pocket. That's all right. We'll get out. Take your word for it. I was never a great athlete. For that Rose Bowl tournament in 76, I was number 69 in the field of 70.

Okay. I'm not a great athlete, but I have been very active. I've bicycled all over Europe, and I bicycled to work for years and years. And let's see. Here's some of my other hats that I'm so famous for. see those okay oh yeah got that one and yeah okay and uh uh i'm sorry i'm not giving you a good no it's out here no it's great right yeah i mean you have what uh does that does that answer your questions you have other questions no that that that answered a lot of it yeah you

big cat you've become obsessed with longevity a little bit with your tony's workouts yeah how are your loads, big cat. I'll go on the other room here. Wait, do you play Frisbee Golf? Frisbee golf? I haven't played it a lot. In fact, well, I knew

What is that? What does that poster say? Leo, what does that poster behind you say? Oh, what now? What's the poster behind you say? Oh, this is from Cuba. This is this one here.

What is? Pinocchio? Pinocchio. Oh, Pinocchio. I get people are liars I can do a I want a cribbs oh wow

Leo you have Polo Pinocchio Your shit is awesome Leo Can we see the pool Here I'll show you I'm pretty famous on TikTok For my avatar

toy collections Oh So here's Here's some of the ones I collected You know I like the crayonsuits. Oops.

A couple of them fell over. And I've got a lot of these little things. Here's one of the bad sheets. And up there is the, I like that one because it's named after me. It's the Leonopteryx. Ooh. Nice. Okay.

But this will blow your mind here. This is something else in my parlor. What? Wait. What? What is that? I can't figure out how to hold this phone so you can see it. Can you see the sculpture?

Yes, my word. Is that a pharist? That's the first goddess, Geo-Gai. I created that religion 12 years ago as a way of combating climate change. You can see she's draped for modesty. Yeah. But the website is still out there, Church of the Goddess.org, but it never really took off. I haven't had any action on it in years and years.

But, you know, that's still my belief that we have to save the planet. Yeah. And is this a monotheistic religion? No, well, that's polytheistic. I mean, it's totally compatible. Here, I'll turn out of light. it's totally compatible with any other faith Christianity you know, if I'm whatever

but this is my latest goddess here she's a little scary can you see her oh yes it rang from the latest avatar film how many times have you seen the avatar films

pardon me how many times have you seen the avatar films well I've watched each of multiple times. I have them here. I mean, I've got videos of a couple of them, and I've got the other one on my DVR. But they're worth watching multiple times because the artistic beauty and everything. I had the I had the Varang figurine, but she kept falling off her pedestal, so I figured I'd get her a really nice ride. I got a banshee to ride on. Pretty scary. Yeah. But, uh, Wait, did that other statue? Was it wearing a bra?

They're going up in price already, just in the last month or two. You know, they're a popular toy. Oh, yeah. And they'll probably have to manufacture more. Do you have an affinity for erotica? Of course. Oh, my cow. Well, I'm, you know, I'm still totally sexually functional,

although it's hard to convince the ladies sometimes, but yeah here's some of my con and toys too you know those were coming out at the time I was writing the book

oh yeah all these guys are really and I was never quite built up like that there's your hats again

can we see the pool interesting okay yeah it's right right out back well you can see it from here oh there it is wait oh you put a cage around it well that was just

for safety in case little kids. There are no little kids in the neighborhood, you know, but you're supposed to keep your pools secure. Yeah. That's very responsible. Oh, and there's, wait, is there water in there right now or no? Oh, yeah. Oh, I was going to take this off. Yeah, you have to take

off the cover. Oh. You see, I just unlatch it up here. And then, oops, that's a mess. Anyway, I just pull up the cover. I was going to have it all ready for you guys, but I forgot. That's okay.

And then all in clear, I'll hook this up. This is a hell of the system. Wow. It's thought of it all. And then you'll get right in there. Oh, there it is. There's the hole. Yeah, there's the ditch.

There's a trough that allows me to do a full swimming stroke. Yeah. And that's where you can go for miles. yeah and over here it's the hot tub which I was going to have ready too but it's pretty easy I keep it 103 degrees

nice but it's a little cumbersome to set it out especially with one hand oops well anyway that's not important sure I can stand that up on the side you have like the perfect setup

yeah Leo you have it all figured out out. Yeah. Uh-oh. All right. Boss Leo. Nope. You're back.

I'll go in the pool and demonstrate if you want. Sure. Love it. Yeah. Yeah. But first, you know, let me try something. I'm famous for my Hulu Hoops, too. Oh, okay.

You know, we need to see them. Yeah. So I'll try to set this up. Yeah. I'm a little sad about the big loads. Yeah. It seems like he's still. He's still.

He's still. coming. How about now? Am I on camera? Oh, yes. Yep. Perfect. Yep.

All right. Here he goes. Is that a, is that a, is that a, woman? Oh, is that? She always been back there?

Just about the church. Four hoops. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait, this.

What the hell? Leo. It sounds like an optical illusion, Leo. Damn, that was great. What's the, um, mural behind you? Oh, that's a painting by my first wife from college. And I put it out here because it's, you know, sort of a beautiful garden scene. Yeah. Yeah. We used to have it in our

bedroom for years and years. Oh, there it is. Yeah. I saw it. What's this? Oh, Zoom isn't responding? Let's see. No, we got you. We got you. We got you. We got you. Okay. well here i'll take this i'll take this over here to the pool my tripod okay oh nice good good we get the tripod set up yep can you see the pool perfect whole thing exactly where keep it right there perfect yeah yep and then just on oh yeah you'll be able to swim in your jeans shorts or your jeans uh brand i don't think that's gonna do this. Oh.

T.J. Just be ready. I will go on my car. All right. Oh, oh, Oh, we're frozen.

Yep. Frozen on this. I swear this is. He's just. We're frozen on this. Okay. All right. Here it goes.

Yeah. He's leashing himself. Don't worry. Oh, Oh, my gosh. Yeah. All right. There he goes.

Put those glasses there. I've got a very simple kind of, uh. Oh, the snorkel is smart. Yeah. Okay. The belly come from. Why does he tend to? So he can swim in place.

Oh, Ed. Oh. So he has the swim for miles. See, look at this. He's got the dug the hole. The hole. And do you ask what the. That's what the.

With tether. Look at them, Eddie. Eddie. He can go for miles, dude. Oh, my God. Miles and miles. It's incredible. That's incredible, Leo.

Hell yeah, Leo. Big Cat, can we get one here? Yeah. The backyard. I need this. Leo, we might have to have you build one for us in our backyard. Yeah. Have you ever built one for somebody else?

Hold on. Billboard. What? We might have to have you build one of these pools for us in our backyard. Oh, build more. Well, it's, you know, I do, I did it myself. The way they are now, you have to be careful when you put it together. You have to make it, you have to shrink it a little.

Yeah. They have enough flooring to go down in that trough. Right. And so you have to take on four sides, four of these 12 members, and use shorter rise. and the rides have to be drilled so that they're held together by these pegs here. Yep. And also, I better show it just for safety. Yeah.

There's a belt around the pool, and you have to shorten that belt so it won't bulge out too far and push out the legs. you see what I mean. Ah, got it. And so if you do all those three things, if you do those three things, then it'll hold together, you know, as a, but that's, this isn't how it was designed to be used, of course.

Yeah. This has been. It's fantastic. Incredible. Yes. Absolutely incredible. Thank you for the glimpse inside your life. Yes.

And Leo, we'll call you back sometime because we'd love to have you back on, especially when is the book officially out? I don't know. It's in and out, maybe. When is the book? When is the book coming out, Leo? The book is available now on Amazon. It's been out since late last year.

All right, I'm going to buy it. Let's buy some. Yeah. Now, the thing is, you see, I didn't even start dosing the DHA until I was 48 years old. I was in my prime. And so I basically... Right. Oh, no.

He started when he was 48, Brandon. Yeah, I think he considered that as prime. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, you know, I felt as strong and active as I ever was, but then I, because I lived, I ate and pretty healthy and everything. But then I was starting to drop off and I realized it. And right at that time, I learned there was a radio program which talked about the benefits of DHA.

And I figured, well, wait a minute. If it declines with age, I'll just take a replacement dose. So now I probably, well, the last time I was tested, I had the hormone level of a 19-year-old. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, wow. Barely leaving. Yeah.

Leo, I just bought the book, Hardcover. I got hardcover as well. I'm excited. Yeah, well, it's, yeah, it's hardcover, soft cover. It's also on Audible. Okay. And so it's out there. But I'm not heavily promoting it because most of the people I talk to are either my age, which is too

old they missed out or else they're too young that even needed yet you see what i mean yeah saying the right age is like 47 48 well it different anywhere in the 40s you might whenever you start to feel like you're old and lagging at that time i was commuting to l.a every week and so i was working long hours in l.a and driving back and forth and that's when i realized hey i'm not as vital as i used to be was the commute wearing you out? No, that was back then. That was 40 years ago. Okay.

No, you're not wearing me out. I'm just going to settle down here and the hot tub. Oh, my God. Take a load off. Maybe just stick around and. Yeah, that's pretty mild. I've got it at 103. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And plus I have, you know, For when I've got guests, I have artistic enhancements here, a painting by Matisse. Let's see. Oh. Oh, wow. Hey now. She's just push out of the tub?

Is she holding a football? What is that? Oh, it's a tambourine. Oh, all right. All right. That makes more sense. Yeah. You know, but I needed something here to keep the bush from creeping into the hot tub.

Yeah. That's perfect. You got to stop the bush On its way to the hot tub On its way to the hot tub Well Leo this has been phenomenal We'd love having you on the show

And we'd love to have you on any time You have anything you're trying to promote Well, yeah, I'm working on a book right now Ghost Writing it And I may be done with it in a couple of months Okay And if so I think it'll be a really A popular

A really successful book but right now I am under a I can't talk about it I'm under a NDA non-disclosure to protect the concept of the book but you know I've I've written 7,000 words in the last week wow oh man

for me so wow all right well we'll have you back on when that happens and thank you so much of joining us this has been thank you yeah you went all up for us You're the bottom of my heart thing. You're still out there doing your thing. All right, we might have lost him. No, he always comes back.

He always comes back. Yeah, there is. Nature of. So, am I back? Yeah, yeah, you are. So I was thanking you, Leo, for coming on. This has been such a joy, and we really appreciate it. Well, yeah, you guys are a lot of fun.

I was watching your show, and it's pretty fantastic. Thank you so much. Yeah, and we'll definitely talk again. If you're ever in Chicago, we'd love to have you come by. too. Yeah, I'm from Chicago. I haven't been there in many years. All right. So then let's do that just not come up. Me and another very famous Leo are from Chicago. That's right. Yeah. All right. So let's set it up. The Pope. Oh, Pope Leo. Holy shit. Okay. Yeah. Oh, my God. And by the way, I mean, both heads of

religions. Oh, my God. That's right. That's right. Yeah. We both thought in. Well, yeah. Okay. Great. guys i won't i won't go any farther with that okay all right thanks so much Leo hopefully we see you in person maybe sometime yeah well thank you Josh all right thanks so much appreciate it Leo me too

all right thanks Leo see yeah best guy ever the best guy I can't get enough you guys have to do a rediscovering just go right there just rediscovering let us now yeah take it in like I think we're desensitized to interesting men but like that is

one of the most interesting we've ever met ever I mean like number six on the things that he had was homo pinocchio homo pinocchio we just glazed right over homo pinocchio we had to there's too much there's too much going on but homo pinocchio well he said something under his breath after he said he said all men are liars and I was like wow that's really profound Ooh.